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Back to Course Improve your IELTS General Training Writing score / Parts …

Improve your IELTS


LESSON LESSON
General Training Writing 13,
IN
PROGRESS
13 45% Previous
TOPIC 6 45% Complete
score

19% Complete
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING Analysis of Details


Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…
In this lesson, we will analyse the details of the
letter.
Meet Your Course Trainers

Course Overview Before you look at the model response, read the
question below. This is the same question you saw

Using the Platform in a previous lesson: Analysis of Beginning.

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…


 

  Question  
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Question

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  You are working for a  
company, and you need to
ask for some time off.
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Write a letter to your


Improve your IELTS manager. In your letter:
General Training Writing
score !"Explain why you need
to take time off
!"Explain when and for
19%
19% Complete how long you need to
Last activity on June 7, 2023
be off work
!"Suggest how your work
could be covered while
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING you are away

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Meet Your Course Trainers

Course Overview
Identifying Parts of Details
Using the Platform Look at the details of the model response below.

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… Identify where this response addresses each of
the bullet points in the question.

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  Response  
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My cousin in New Zealand
is getting married on 12th
October in Auckland and I
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would like to travel there to
attend the wedding. Apart
Improve your IELTS from the wedding day, I
General Training Writing have also been asked to
score help with preparations in
the lead up to the wedding.
I am very close with my
19% Complete
19% family in Auckland and so it
Last activity on June 7, 2023
is important for me to
attend this event.

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING To take part in this special


occasion, I will need to be
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… away from work for 10
days, from 5th until 14th
October. To cover my
Meet Your Course Trainers
workload during this time, I
suggest dividing my clients
Course Overview between my team. This
means that each team
member will only need to
Using the Platform take on one or two extra
clients during this time.
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

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! Check Your Answers


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Back to Course   Bullet Reponse


Point
Improve your IELTS
General Training Writing <1> Explain <1> My cousin in New
why you Zealand is getting
score need to married on 12th October
take time in Auckland and I would
19% Complete off. like to travel there to
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023 attend the wedding.
Apart from the wedding
day, I have also been
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING
asked to help with
preparations in the lead
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…
up to the wedding. I am
very close with my family
in Auckland and so it is
Meet Your Course Trainers important for me to
attend this event.

Course Overview
<2> Explain <2> To take part in this
when and special occasion, I will
Using the Platform for how need to be away from
long you work for 10 days, from
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… need to be 5th until 14th October. <3>
off work. To cover my workload
during this time, I suggest
dividing my clients
<3> Suggest
between my team. This
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between my team. This
how your
means that each team
work could jigar-shah
member will only need to
be covered
take on one or two extra
while you are
clients during this time.
away.
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Improve your IELTS


General Training Writing
score  

This response covers the three bullet points in


19% Complete
19% only two paragraphs, not three. Why do you think
Last activity on June 7, 2023

this is?

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

! Check Your Answers


Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Meet Your Course Trainers The second bullet point (Explain when
and for how long you need to be off work)

Course Overview
only requires a short, one sentence
response. Therefore, it cannot be in a
paragraph on its own and has been
Using the Platform
combined with the third bullet point.

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

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Analysing Added Details
As you have seen in the previous video, you will
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need to create and add many details in your letter

Improve your IELTS that are not provided in the question.

General Training Writing


What details have been added to each bullet point
score in this response?

19% Complete
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023
! Check Your Answers

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

   Bullet Point from Details Added in


Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…
Question Response

Meet Your Course Trainers Explain why you !"What: a


need to take time cousin’s
off wedding and
Course Overview
wedding
preparations

Using the Platform


!"When: 12th
October
!"Where:
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…
Auckland, New
Zealand
!"Why: very
close to the
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close to the
family
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Explain when and !"When: 5th to


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for how long you 14th October
need to be off !"How long: 10
Improve your IELTS work days
General Training Writing
score
Suggest how your !"How: divide
work could be clients
19% Complete
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023
covered while you between the
are away team.

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Practice Adding Details


Meet Your Course Trainers

Have a look at the question below. What are the


Course Overview main ideas? What details could you add to them in
your response?

Using the Platform

  Question  
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

  You would like to buy some  


electrical goods at a shop
in a town which is far from
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your home.
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Write a letter to the


manager of the shop. In
Back to Course your letter:

Improve your IELTS !"say which electrical


goods you want
General Training Writing !"ask questions about the
score cost of the goods and
how to pay
!"explain how you will
19% Complete
19% collect the goods.
Last activity on June 7, 2023

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… ! Suggested Answers: Main


Ideas

Meet Your Course Trainers

[\ Some electrical goods


Course Overview ]\ Say which electrical goods you want
^\ Cost and how to pay
_\ How you will collect the goods
Using the Platform

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

! Suggested Answers:
Details
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Details

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1. Some electrical goods: You want to


enquire about some (maybe two or three)
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goods, not only one. Also, they are
electrical goods, not to be confused with
Improve your IELTS
other types of items. For example: Blue-
General Training Writing ray drive, TV, Mobile phone, DVD player,
score Printer.

19% Complete 2. Say which electrical good you want:


19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023
This is the first requirement of the task.
You cannot assume that they have what
you want. Since you do not know if they
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING
have them, you should then ask if they
can order them for you. It would be
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…
inappropriate to directly ask them to order
them for you (you do not know whether
Meet Your Course Trainers they can do this or not). You need to add
specific details to the goods you choose.
Course Overview For example: Blu-ray: Sony, external drive
for computer, light; TVe 50-inch, 3D;
Mobile phone: smartphone with 12
Using the Platform
megapixel camera.

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…


3. Cost: You should ask about the price of
the goods and also how you can pay. For
example, can you pay by telephone,
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online, or in person.
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4. How you will collect the goods: Here,
the key word would be ‘collect’. That is, if
Back to Course you ask how long it will take to receive the
goods, you would not meet this
Improve your IELTS requirement of the task. You could ask

General Training Writing them to hold the goods and then give
them a day when you could visit the town
score
and collect them.

19% Complete
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… Assessing Details


Have a look at the examples of details in the two
Meet Your Course Trainers
responses to this question. What feedback would
you give each one?
Course Overview

  Details One  
Using the Platform
The first item I need is an
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… external Blu-ray drive,
preferably Sony, and a
Smartphone with a 12
megapixel camera. I am
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also looking for a printer
which combines copying
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and scanning functions.

If these items are available,


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could you provide me with
details of how much they
Improve your IELTS cost and your payment
General Training Writing options. Is it possible to pay
online with PayPal or by
score
telephone with a credit
card? Or would you prefer
19% Complete me to pay in person?
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023 Please hold the items for
me at the shop as I would
like to collect them in
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING person when I visit the
town next week.
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Meet Your Course Trainers

! Suggested Feedback
Course Overview

Using the Platform


These details have addressed each of the
bullet points from the question in the

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… same order and with sufficient detail.  

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  Details Two  
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The item I need is a 50-


inch, flat screen TV, and
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preferably Samsung brand.
If you have this item, could
Improve your IELTS you let me know how much
General Training Writing it is? I’d also like to know

score how I can pay for it.

Please post the items by


19% Complete express post to me so that
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023
they arrive no later than
Thursday this week. I would
also appreciate it if you
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING would consider opening a
branch of your store closer
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… to my town as there is a
need here for a greater
variety of electrical
Meet Your Course Trainers
products.

Course Overview

Using the Platform


! Suggested Feedback

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

These details have only partially


responded to the bullet points and some

12 of 14 parts are irrelevant. It is also too short h90 07/06/23, 4:54 pm


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parts are irrelevant. It is also too short h90
words). jigar-shah

Here are some of the main problems:

Back to Course
!"The question specifies electrical
Improve your IELTS goods (plural) but the response only

General Training Writing requests 1 item.


!"The response has addressed the
score
second bullet point but only minimally.
!"The third bullet point specifies that
19% Complete
19% the items should be collected, but the
Last activity on June 7, 2023
response asks the shop to post the
items.

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING


!"The response includes an additional
request that is not in the question
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… (asking the shop to open a branch
closer to their town).

Meet Your Course Trainers

Course Overview

Using the Platform


Mark Complete

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

LESSON LESSON
IN 13
13, PROGRESS 45% Previous
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13, 13 45% Previous
PROGRESS
TOPIC 6 45% Complete
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Back to Course

Improve your IELTS


General Training Writing
score

19% Complete
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Meet Your Course Trainers

Course Overview

Using the Platform

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

14 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm

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