Analysis of Details WGT

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Back to Course Improve your IELTS General Training Writing score / Parts …
Improve your IELTS

LESSON LESSON
General Training Writing 13,
IN
PROGRESS
13 45% Previous
TOPIC 6 45% Complete
score
19% Complete
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING Analysis of Details

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…
In this lesson, we will analyse the details of the
letter.
Meet Your Course Trainers
Course Overview Before you look at the model response, read the
question below. This is the same question you saw
Using the Platform in a previous lesson: Analysis of Beginning.
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

Question
1 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
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Question
jigar-shah
You are working for a
company, and you need to
ask for some time off.
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Write a letter to your

Improve your IELTS manager. In your letter:
General Training Writing
score !"Explain why you need
to take time off
!"Explain when and for
19%
19% Complete how long you need to
be off work
!"Suggest how your work
could be covered while
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING you are away
Course Overview
Identifying Parts of Details
Using the Platform Look at the details of the model response below.
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… Identify where this response addresses each of
the bullet points in the question.
2 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
Response
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My cousin in New Zealand
is getting married on 12th
October in Auckland and I
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would like to travel there to
attend the wedding. Apart
Improve your IELTS from the wedding day, I
General Training Writing have also been asked to
score help with preparations in
the lead up to the wedding.
I am very close with my
19% Complete
19% family in Auckland and so it
is important for me to
attend this event.
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING To take part in this special

occasion, I will need to be
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… away from work for 10
days, from 5th until 14th
October. To cover my
workload during this time, I
suggest dividing my clients
Course Overview between my team. This
means that each team
member will only need to
Using the Platform take on one or two extra
clients during this time.
3 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
! Check Your Answers

jigar-shah
Back to Course Bullet Reponse

Point
Improve your IELTS
General Training Writing <1> Explain <1> My cousin in New
why you Zealand is getting
score need to married on 12th October
take time in Auckland and I would
19% Complete off. like to travel there to
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023 attend the wedding.
Apart from the wedding
day, I have also been
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING
asked to help with
preparations in the lead
up to the wedding. I am
very close with my family
in Auckland and so it is
Meet Your Course Trainers important for me to
attend this event.
Course Overview
<2> Explain <2> To take part in this
when and special occasion, I will
Using the Platform for how need to be away from
long you work for 10 days, from
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… need to be 5th until 14th October. <3>
off work. To cover my workload
during this time, I suggest
dividing my clients
<3> Suggest
between my team. This
4 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
between my team. This
how your
means that each team
work could jigar-shah
member will only need to
be covered
take on one or two extra
while you are
clients during this time.
away.
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Improve your IELTS

score
This response covers the three bullet points in

19% Complete
19% only two paragraphs, not three. Why do you think
this is?

Meet Your Course Trainers The second bullet point (Explain when
and for how long you need to be off work)
Course Overview
only requires a short, one sentence
response. Therefore, it cannot be in a
paragraph on its own and has been
Using the Platform
combined with the third bullet point.
5 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
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Analysing Added Details
As you have seen in the previous video, you will
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need to create and add many details in your letter
Improve your IELTS that are not provided in the question.

What details have been added to each bullet point
score in this response?
19% Complete
19%
Bullet Point from Details Added in

Question Response
Meet Your Course Trainers Explain why you !"What: a

need to take time cousin’s
off wedding and
Course Overview
wedding
preparations
Using the Platform

!"When: 12th
October
!"Where:
Auckland, New
Zealand
!"Why: very
close to the
6 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
close to the
family
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Explain when and !"When: 5th to

Back to Course
for how long you 14th October
need to be off !"How long: 10
Improve your IELTS work days
score
Suggest how your !"How: divide
work could be clients
19% Complete
19%
covered while you between the
are away team.
Practice Adding Details

Have a look at the question below. What are the

Course Overview main ideas? What details could you add to them in
your response?
Using the Platform
Question
You would like to buy some

electrical goods at a shop
in a town which is far from
7 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
your home.
jigar-shah
Write a letter to the

manager of the shop. In
Back to Course your letter:
Improve your IELTS !"say which electrical

goods you want
General Training Writing !"ask questions about the
score cost of the goods and
how to pay
!"explain how you will
19% Complete
19% collect the goods.
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… ! Suggested Answers: Main

Ideas
[\ Some electrical goods

Course Overview ]\ Say which electrical goods you want
^\ Cost and how to pay
_\ How you will collect the goods
Using the Platform
! Suggested Answers:
Details
8 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
Details
jigar-shah
1. Some electrical goods: You want to

enquire about some (maybe two or three)
Back to Course
goods, not only one. Also, they are
electrical goods, not to be confused with
Improve your IELTS
other types of items. For example: Blue-
General Training Writing ray drive, TV, Mobile phone, DVD player,
score Printer.
19% Complete 2. Say which electrical good you want:

19%
This is the first requirement of the task.
You cannot assume that they have what
you want. Since you do not know if they
have them, you should then ask if they
can order them for you. It would be
inappropriate to directly ask them to order
them for you (you do not know whether
Meet Your Course Trainers they can do this or not). You need to add
specific details to the goods you choose.
Course Overview For example: Blu-ray: Sony, external drive
for computer, light; TVe 50-inch, 3D;
Mobile phone: smartphone with 12
Using the Platform
megapixel camera.

3. Cost: You should ask about the price of
the goods and also how you can pay. For
example, can you pay by telephone,
9 of 14 online, or in person. 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
online, or in person.
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4. How you will collect the goods: Here,
the key word would be ‘collect’. That is, if
Back to Course you ask how long it will take to receive the
goods, you would not meet this
Improve your IELTS requirement of the task. You could ask
General Training Writing them to hold the goods and then give
them a day when you could visit the town
score
and collect them.
19% Complete
19%
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… Assessing Details

Have a look at the examples of details in the two
responses to this question. What feedback would
you give each one?
Course Overview
Details One
Using the Platform
The first item I need is an
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… external Blu-ray drive,
preferably Sony, and a
Smartphone with a 12
megapixel camera. I am
10 of 14 also looking for a printer 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
also looking for a printer
which combines copying
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and scanning functions.
If these items are available,

Back to Course
could you provide me with
details of how much they
Improve your IELTS cost and your payment
General Training Writing options. Is it possible to pay
online with PayPal or by
score
telephone with a credit
card? Or would you prefer
19% Complete me to pay in person?
19%
Last activity on June 7, 2023 Please hold the items for
me at the shop as I would
like to collect them in
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING person when I visit the
town next week.
! Suggested Feedback
Course Overview
Using the Platform

These details have addressed each of the
bullet points from the question in the
ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W… same order and with sufficient detail.
11 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
Details Two
jigar-shah
The item I need is a 50-

inch, flat screen TV, and
Back to Course
preferably Samsung brand.
If you have this item, could
Improve your IELTS you let me know how much
General Training Writing it is? I’d also like to know
score how I can pay for it.
Please post the items by

19% Complete express post to me so that
19%
they arrive no later than
Thursday this week. I would
also appreciate it if you
WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING would consider opening a
branch of your store closer
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… to my town as there is a
need here for a greater
variety of electrical
products.
Course Overview
Using the Platform

! Suggested Feedback
These details have only partially

responded to the bullet points and some
12 of 14 parts are irrelevant. It is also too short h90 07/06/23, 4:54 pm

parts are irrelevant. It is also too short h90
words). jigar-shah
Here are some of the main problems:
Back to Course
!"The question specifies electrical
Improve your IELTS goods (plural) but the response only
General Training Writing requests 1 item.

!"The response has addressed the
score
second bullet point but only minimally.
!"The third bullet point specifies that
19% Complete
19% the items should be collected, but the
response asks the shop to post the
items.

!"The response includes an additional
request that is not in the question
Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… (asking the shop to open a branch
closer to their town).
Course Overview
Using the Platform

Mark Complete
LESSON LESSON
IN 13
13, PROGRESS 45% Previous
13 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm
13, 13 45% Previous
PROGRESS
TOPIC 6 45% Complete
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Back to Course
Improve your IELTS

score
19% Complete
19%
Course Overview
Using the Platform
14 of 14 07/06/23, 4:54 pm

Analysis of Details WGT

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Improve your IELTS

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING Analysis of Details

Using the Platform in a previous lesson: Analysis of Beginning.

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

Write a letter to your

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Meet Your Course Trainers

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING To take part in this special

! Check Your Answers

Back to Course Bullet Reponse

Improve your IELTS

This response covers the three bullet points in

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

! Check Your Answers

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

Improve your IELTS that are not provided in the question.

General Training Writing

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Bullet Point from Details Added in

Meet Your Course Trainers Explain why you !"What: a

Using the Platform

Explain when and !"When: 5th to

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Practice Adding Details

Have a look at the question below. What are the

Using the Platform

You would like to buy some

Write a letter to the

Improve your IELTS !"say which electrical

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… ! Suggested Answers: Main

Meet Your Course Trainers

[\ Some electrical goods

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

1. Some electrical goods: You want to

19% Complete 2. Say which electrical good you want:

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General… Assessing Details

If these items are available,

Meet Your Course Trainers

Using the Platform

The item I need is a 50-

score how I can pay for it.

Please post the items by

Using the Platform

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

These details have only partially

12 of 14 parts are irrelevant. It is also too short h90 07/06/23, 4:54 pm

Here are some of the main problems:

General Training Writing requests 1 item.

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Meet Your Course Trainers

Using the Platform

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…

Improve your IELTS

WELCOME TO IELTS ONLINE WRITING

Welcome to Improve Your IELTS General…

Meet Your Course Trainers

Using the Platform

ABOUT THE IELTS GENERAL TRAINING W…