Make a new start. You are smart.

You are much smarter and wiser now than you ever were.
You can change. He can't. Celebrate that.

Stop thinking about that person. The person you fell in love with really does not exist. Never
did. It was a mask. It was an illusion. Created just for you, because you are a good person.
And only good people are good enough to be a target.

Learn mindfulness techniques. In the beginning, you will need a huge shovel to clear all the
crap out of your soul left behind.

Find a quiet place, buy a big candle, light it and stare at it for a while. Clear your mind. Now,
imagine you are opening the door to your soul, and you are the clean-up crew. You go in
with a shovel and start clearing out the garbage. One shovelful at a time.

But you are not just clearing out, you are putting light back into your soul from that candle.
Take out a shovel full of crap, draw in a packet of light.

Do this every time you start to think of the narc. Time to get out the shovel and candle.

Eventually, the soul will be cleaned out and you'll fill the light coming back in.

That's when you need to go in with the vacuum cleaner. Every day. There will be dust left
over the narc touching the walls of your heart and soul. Vacuum the place.

You'll have memories, as well.

Go into a beautiful place in your mind. A lovely overlook, perhaps overlooking the ocean, a
favorite place. Go through your mind. Pick out some of those memories. Examine them, but
don't allow yourself to feel anything from them. Yes, include the good ones. Remember, they
are lies, too. They didn't really happen, because it was just a lie to make you love the narc.
Take each one and attach it to a helium filled balloon. Go that overlook, let go of the
balloons. Watch them drift away. As they go higher and higher, they will pop one by one.
Gone. Let go.

Next time that memory comes up in your mind, remind yourself that it is gone. You watched
it go, pop, disappear. Do that over and over.

You will eventually have to forgive the narc. This is a dirty job. So fill the bathtub with warm
water. Think about all the things that the narc did to hurt you. Name the event, the pain.
Drop it into the bath water. Forgive the narc. Then pull the plug. Watch them go down the
drain. Next time you want to get angry, remind yourself, you sent them where these things
belong, the sewer treatment plant. They are gone.

Be sure to take a shower after you do this exercise. Physically scrub from your skin the stuff
that came out during that bath. Yes, it is all ceremonial cleansing, but it is something you
must do if you really want to leave the narc.

One day in the future you will not think about that person. That is the day you will have
truly left the narc. Leaving is a process but it begins with action and continues as an action.

And when the day come that you find real love with a real person, it is so amazing.

So amazing. Strive for it. You deserve it. 

Trust me. I've been there, done these things.

In nine days I am marrying a real person. And the difference between truth and lie, real and
phony, is night and day.

Embrace the day. Embrace the light.