AWAKEN THE FOX

WITHIN

Your Bag Of Tricks

Johan Noire
 COPYRIGHT

Copyright © 2022 by Johan Noire

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or
by
any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and
retrieval
systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a
reviewer
who may quote passages in a review.
 DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my innocent younger brother.

Special thanks to Ayoub Amiri for editing the book & Eva Pawlowska for
designing the cover.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Preface
Sharpen Your Mind
Gather Intelligence
Detect Instigators
Detect Snitches
Read People’s Minds
Manage People’s Perceptions
Create A Solid Connection With Others
Build Trust
Flatter People
Negotiate & Get What You Want
Turn Your enemies Into Allies
Calm Down In Times of Crisis
Camouflage Your Intentions & Cover Your Tracks
Divide & Conquer
Cult-Making Secrets
Conclusion
 PREFACE

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore

wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” — Matthew 10:16

There are moments in your life when you have been a sucker. You have
allowed yourself to be tricked into doing something. You have allowed yourself
to believe in something that wasn't real. Maybe you have been cheated on
before, and you forgave your gaslighting girlfriend. Maybe you have been
duped into buying a useless online course by your everyday fake guru. Maybe
you have been utilized to do other people’s bidding but got none of the
rewards. You became angry at yourself, for allowing people to treat you this
way. But even more, you cursed yourself for not being smart enough to see the
signs, brave enough to defend yourself, and cunning enough to outmaneuver
the rest. These moments of naivety are common and a part of the human
condition. However, it doesn’t mean that you are off the hook. Because like it
or not, those moments of weakness will repeat themselves, and you will find
yourself in the same situation but with double the resentment, self-pity, or
worse, rage.

Awaken the fox within. Abandon your rigid and naive understanding of the
world and what it is supposed to be. It's your responsibility to yourself and
others, to master the art of psychological self-defense. It’s your duty to know
how to navigate the world, how to deal with others, how to overcome
obstacles, how to be a fox in disguise. Wait for no one’s permission to be who
you truly are. That entails that you have to summon parts of yourself that you
didn’t know you had, or that you knew but chose to hide from. To be good, you
have to be powerful. To be powerful you need a bag of tricks. This book is your
bag of tricks. Take a look inside. Accept the dark parts of yourself. Choose to be
more. And make cunning your superpower.

Awaken the fox within is a book that gives you an overview of the art of
deception. It is designed to be short, clear, concise, and practical. Do not be
afraid to read it multiple times.

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 SHARPEN YOUR MIND

With the explosion of technology, access to information is not as scarce as

it used to be. With a click of a button, you can read books, magazines, papers
from the best minds of history. You can watch all your favorite shows, Witness
historical moments live and even get a glimpse of how life was back then.
Everything is telling you what to believe, how to think, and with whom to
align.

Think For Yourself

“Dare to think for yourself” — Voltaire

In an era when you have the freedom to do almost everything you want,
you lack the autonomy to think for yourself. YOU NEED TO THINK ON YOUR
OWN. To think is to question. To think well is to master the art of formulating
and finding better questions. If you treat your mind like a dumpster feeding it
anything and everything, don’t be surprised when you turn into an intellectual
moron.

The key is this. The next time you have a problem that needs solving or a
question that needs answering, resist that urge to Google it or ask for
someone’s help. Sit down, pen and paper, and brainstorm ideas. Take 5 minutes
only and try to figure things out on your own. You can write whatever comes
to your mind, most of it will be rubbish anyway, but you will usually get one
nugget of wisdom there that you can apply. Even if you don’t get it on your
first attempt, you will get it on your second. Only after you have done this, you
can check what others have said about the subject and compare your results.

Remember this quote from Schopenhauer: “Reading is thinking with

someone else’s head”. What you are reading and how much you are reading
needs to be monitored.

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 Action: Pick a problem that’s been bothering you for a while, and stab it
with your mind.

Start With The Simple: Occam’s Razor

"Out of clutter, find simplicity." — Albert Einstein

The weakness of the intelligent is that they want everything to be

intelligent, and thus they seek meaning in everything. Real intellectuals and
your favorite fictional characters appear to have these elaborate ideas on how
to do something or why something works but in truth, most solutions are often
rather simple. Over-complicating and rationalization are defense mechanisms
to protect the ego and convince it that it’s special and superior to everyone
else’s.

Occam’s razor is the principle that the right answer to a question is usually
the most obvious. The one that demands a smaller number of assumptions and
presuppositions. It’s called a razor because it cuts through all the nonsense.

For example, what is the most likely explanation in this situation? You came
back to your home, and you find the front door open. Your mind automatically
forms two possibilities. The first one is that your house just got robbed. The
second is that your spouse, parent, brother, partner, forgot to close it. The
simple solution is the latter. What kind of thief would leave the front door open
and risk bringing attention to themselves?

Your brain is trained for worst-case scenarios, a useful skill nonetheless but
don’t let it drive you. Start with the simple, test it then level from there. Start
with the rule, eliminate the most common possibilities, and only then think of
the exceptions.

Action: Ask yourself. What are the most common problems people face
tackling this task? What are the most common signs of X?/ What are the most
mistakes of X? Eliminate the common to get at the heart of matter quicker.

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Learn To Say No

“It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on the things that are
really important.” — Steve Jobs

No is your friend. People who are the most successful are the ones that
learn how to say No. No to distractions, no to unreasonable deals, no to
temptations, no to self-doubt, and so on. Similarly, if you don’t say no to your
environment, to social media, your time will vanish ending up living another
person’s life, building another person’s dream instead of yours. People who
can’t say no to others usually score high on agreeableness. And If you are
agreeable for example, you are less likely to ask for a raise because of this and
more likely to feel guilty for refusing a request or setting a boundary.

Ask yourself these questions whenever you are being exposed to someone.
Why am I hearing this? Why is this person talking to me specifically? Why
should I believe what they are telling me? Don’t believe things until you are
certain of the validity of the source and intention. The police force trains
policemen to believe none of what they hear and half of what they see. Your
internal ‘No’ will keep you safe from being played and repositioned like a chess
piece.

Action: Every time someone mentions something you know is not factually
true, internally say no. Do this even if your intention is not to correct them at
the moment. Remember that every time you do so you reclaim and re-affirm
your identity.

Know The Cognitive Biases

"Why oh why are human beings so hard to teach, but so easy to deceive"
— Dio Chrystostom

Self-deception is the root of most psychological problems. To help us survive

the harsh nature of the world, our brain has developed ways to push us to

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make decisions faster, and more efficiently. The ability to recognize danger is
key to survival, to differentiate between our tribe and the enemy, to know
when to run, hide or face the obstacle. One second of hesitation when
detecting a predator in the jungle could lead to death in ancient times.

Cognitive biases are the product of this evolution. While useful, they are
mental shortcuts and tendencies that create issues, and limit one’s perspective,
seeing the world from only certain angles. Stereotyping, generalizations are
dark manifestations of this phenomenon.

The most common cognitive bias is confirmation bias. It can be defined as

the tendency to see, sense, absorb, detect and surround oneself with the
information that confirms one’s own beliefs, values, opinions and suppresses
the rest. Things that could trigger a negative reaction or challenge one’s sense
of identity are filtered out. Search engines and social media algorithms are
trained to exploit this mental blind spot so you can watch their content for
eternity. The term for this is filter bubble. Filter bubbles are created around
your search activity. If you watch a Jordan Peterson Lecture, YouTube will
recommend you someone with reasonably similar views like Ben Shapiro.

There is a website called theirtube.com that allows you to see the YouTube
homepage from the perspective of different psychological profiles to expose you
to the concept of filter bubbles.

Because of their tricky nature, you can only minimize the impact of biases.
To do this you start by reading about them as much as possible. Then, every
time you catch yourself falling for one of them, take a few minutes to
challenge yourself and change your perspective. There is a large list of
cognitive biases that we cannot fully explore in this book. Feel free to check
them out. Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cognitive_biases

Action: Deactivate search history and watch history in your YouTube

account to minimize filter bubbles.

Understand Logical Fallacies

“Sleepy Joe!” — Donald Trump

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 Biases are natural tendencies while fallacies are flaws in cognition that
often lead to weak arguments and conclusions. Unlike cognitive biases, logical
fallacies can be both intentional and unintentional. Meaning that people can
innocently fall for them due to false calculations or weak mental processing, or
deviously use them to convince people of their point of view. Politicians often
do this. We see especially in debates, insults, and attacks on the character of
their rival to discredit their points. These are referred to as Ad Hominem
fallacies.

Black and white thinking is another fallacy that is used to push people
towards an action. George Bush used this after the 911 attacks. “You are with
us, or against us”. This thinking is also named the false dichotomy fallacy
where the individual is forced to decide between two options. It is sneaky
because it controls the cards that the person gets to choose from when in fact
there are more hidden or obvious cards that aren’t displayed. Reality is colorful
and multi-layered. To convince you to support a war, they will tell you that if
you are against the war, you are against the troops, and thus unpatriotic and
unjust.

Tu Quoque or the “You do it too” fallacy or whataboutism, aims at excusing

a certain behavior and distracting from it by accusing another person, or
organization of doing the same thing. If your girlfriend forgot to switch off the
lights before your one-week vacation, and you find out later. She might use an
instance from the past when you did a similar thing to get herself out of
trouble. Even though the incidents are unrelated and the consequences of the
mistakes are costly, she might use the fallacy regardless.

Another fallacy is the slippery slope which pushes the idea that one small
event can create a series of events that will result in something bigger,
catastrophic, and costly. Parents might convince their children that smocking
one harmless cigarette could lead to a lifelong addiction of more harmful
substances like heroin. This could result in itself to an unfulfilled life of misery
and even end up potentially committing suicide.

There are several fallacies out there. The more you read about them, the
safer you are against them because you will recognize them used against you.
Here: http://utminers.utep.edu/omwilliamson/engl1311/fallacies.htm

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 Action: Read about one logical fallacy each day for a week.

Understand Mental Models

“Developing the habit of mastering the multiple models which underlie

reality is the best thing you can do.” — Charlie Munger

Mental models are cognitive tools and principles that explain how reality
works, and thus help you arrive at the correct conclusions, make better
decisions, and direct your thinking in general. Major thought leaders,
scientists, and professionals from all walks of life use them to get ahead. From
engineers like Elon Musk, Investors like Ray Dalio, Authors like Tim Ferris, and
Mathematicians like Richard Feynman. The models can be found in all
scientific domains but the wisest thinkers don’t restrict themselves to one
single field and thus attempt to re-purpose a mental model from one domain to
other domains.

At any rate, in the field of psychology, for instance, we can find the model
of social proof. Human beings often look for others to tell them what to do,
and how to think. Thus, in times of crisis, if you look self-assured and
confident, people are more likely to follow you. These principles can be hacked
and used to your advantage. If you understand the self-serving nature of
humanity, you will automatically appeal to people’s self-interest instead of
their sense of duty or charity.

Mental models like the law of inversion for instance can push you towards
finding proper solutions by asking questions using negation. Instead of asking
how can I live a happy life, you ask how can I live a miserable life. You
brainstorm those ideas, and now you are left with more efficient answers that
save energy rather than expanding it. Instead of doing something to be happy,
you minimize or eliminate certain actions in order not to be miserable. Instead
of spending money buying more equipment to improve the quality of your
studio, you eliminate things that are hindering your progress. Mental models
are everywhere. The best book I can recommend for further reading is ‘Seeking
Wisdom from Darwin to Munger’ by Peter Bevelin

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 Action: Eliminate one thing from your life that is making you feel unhappy.
It can be a person, a habit, a toothache…

Create Distance Between You And The

Environment

“The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards
the religion of solitude.” — Aldous Huxley

People are afraid of solitude, of being with themselves to avoid thinking

about the future, about the meaninglessness of life. And so they run to their
friends, family, entertainment, Yoga, and other clever ways of self-denial.

Thinking requires distance from the other. Clarity starts with distance from
distracting stimuli, away from the noise. This means that from time to time,
you need to recollect your thoughts, preserve your sense of self, and reclaim
who you are by creating some distance between you and the environment. It’s
in the silence that the storm is created.

This distance doesn’t need to be a big event in your life but rather a daily
habit. For some people, it could mean a daily drive in their car without the
radio played, a walk in the park Eckhart Tolle style, or sitting in a dark room
with no distractions. Take 5 minutes minimum for yourself, to sit with your
thoughts. Let this habit be your psychological sauna to purify yourself from
the traces of the other.

Remember: If you meet the Buddha by the side of the road kill him. Respect
your mentors but do not worship them. March ahead!

Action: Designate 10 minutes in your day to sit alone without electronics or

people around, and think of who you are as a person, and where you are in
your life. Set a specific time to make it a ritual.

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 GATHER INTELLIGENCE

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result
of a hundred battles.” — Sun Tzu

Look Up Their New/Old Social Media Accounts

“Privacy is dead, and social media holds the smoking gun.” — Pete
Cashmore

To plan an attack on an organization or an individual in general, social

engineers revert to collecting as much Intel as they can about their target.
They use all kinds of tricks and strategies to elicit the information needed. But
before using any advanced methods, initially, they start with investigating the
information that people volunteer about themselves freely and openly.

Social media in general is the gateway to people’s privacy. Instagram,

Facebook, Twitter accounts, and what have you, contain almost everything
you need to know about a person. Their likes, their dislikes, their interests,
their hobbies, their families, their jobs, their political, social, and personal
opinions and values, and even how they would like to portray themselves to
the world. It’s a goldmine that seducers use to study their romantic interests
and companies monitor to vet and weed out their potential staff.

You can do the same. Pick someone you are interested in for whatever
reason and do a little check on them starting from their social media. The
people they follow will tell you a lot about their hobbies and affiliations. The
same thing applies to what they post. The frequency of their posts can indicate
their need for narcissistic supply, and how much time they have on their
hands. If someone is always online that could mean they are either
unemployed, they procrastinate a lot, or their job demands it.

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 Social media can help you categorize and understand someone’s personality
in terms of the BIG 5 personality assessment. Personality can be seen through
five scales: Extraversion, Conscientiousness, Agreeableness, Openness to
Experience, and Neuroticism. The number of friends and frequency of
interactions, and posts could indicate a level of extraversion. Conscientious
people focus their interactions around friends and family. Agreeable people are
more inclined to post images. Individuals who score high on openness usually
spend more time on social media, and their posts give hints of their main
interests. Finally, People with high neuroticism use social media way more
than their counterparts. Understand your personality leaves its behavioral
residue that can be traced and exploited.

Different platforms have different functions. Instagram is usually more

about how they would like to portray themselves. Facebook is about their
family and friends. Twitter is more into their opinions on things. LinkedIn is
professional and will give you more information on their level of education,
career, ambition, accomplishments, and consistency of employment. Too many
jobs in a short period could indicate behavioral issues. Two scholars by the
names of Guillory and Hancock demonstrated that people are less likely to lie
on their LinkedIn in comparison to resumes due to the open exposure, and
higher probability of ruining their reputation.

Action: Take 15 minutes and collect as much Intel as you can about
someone you know. Place it in a word file with their codename that only you
know. Use it to figure out how you can be a better friend, colleague,… to them.

Provide An Ear To Their Opposition

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend" — Ancient proverb

Even though we would like to believe in our inability to inspire feelings of

dislike, hatred, and mistrust in others, that is unrealistic. Not having any
enemies, or haters is a sign that you are doing nothing impactful in your life.
You are not pushing the boundaries of life trying to make a name for yourself.

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 One of the ways that you can collect information on someone is by
extracting it from the people that have it in for them. Maybe it’s a neighbor
who is annoyed by their activities, an older friend that they ghosted, an ex-
partner they betrayed or wronged in some way, a co-worker that envies them,
or their mother-in-law. Whatever that person might be, their intel though
subjective and biased, could open some type of door, pave some type of path, or
unintentionally hand you some critical key information about your target.

Haters and enemies have a habit of paying attention to other people’s faults
that fans and friends simply unconsciously and consciously refuse to believe.
When we like someone we are mesmerized by them and might even idolize
them. Enemies collect pertinent pieces of Intel that you can elicit or even ask
for if the person you are collecting information about is a common enemy. Kill
with a borrowed knife. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel yourself. You
don’t have to spend endless hours doing the research. Older friends usually
make the worst enemies. Even some ex-girlfriends or boyfriends might still
hold the grudge.

Action: 1) If you have an enemy or rival, find out at least one person that
hates them or has conflicted interests with them. 2) Figure out who considers
you as a rival, an enemy, or a bridge towards achieving a goal. You have 3
days to achieve the task.

Build Relationships With Gatekeepers

“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is the king.” ―
Stephen Thompson

Gatekeepers are individuals or organizations that limit people’s access to

something regardless of whether it’s a person, an object, a land, a resource, a
piece of information, and so on. Regardless of whether they seem capable or
not, high status or not, they hold that access. Gatekeepers can be secretaries,
janitors, drivers, maids, security, or even general staff. The gatekeeper is an
agent that holds the keys to something.

These people are often underestimated and even ignored. Few understand

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their value and influence, and even fewer use that knowledge to their
advantage. Thus, you need to make it a habit to befriend these types right from
the beginning. If you move to a new company, act on this strategy
immediately. While not all of them are treated with disregard, some of them
are. Respect these corporate punching bags because they can be your most
loyal allies. A simple and genuine recognition of their role and effort can go a
long way.

Being the person with the access means that he or she knows about the
internal structure of the environment and the dynamics of its members more
than most. They know who gets in and out, who does what, when, where, and
how, who talks to whom, and much more. Most gatekeepers fade in the
background, so you won’t notice them when they are doing their work. Your
eyes are more often than not locked on the boss or the social players in the
group. Remember: the man or woman with access is king. There is an older
Arab quote that can be summed up as such: “the servant of the people is their
master.”

If you treat them right, not only will they provide you with access to power
but will also share with you Intel on others either directly or indirectly.
“Please”, “Thank you” can go a long way. Occasionally drop the whole “I am
sure that most people underestimate your job, don’t they?” Then watch them
endlessly talk about it. Now you have become someone they can share their
frustrations with. Understand that gatekeepers make great informants. After
all, no one questions their uniform.

Action: Find a gatekeeper around you and form a positive relationship with
them. A simple “Hello” or the occasional Nod of recognition will ease you into
it if you are the shy type.

Use The Gossipers

“Ask yourself this: Who makes it their business to know everyone else’s?”
— Patrick Jane from The Mentalist Series

If you want to know about people’s secrets go no farther than the ones who

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constantly look for them. However, no one wants to seem like a snitch so you
have to elicit the information or convince the gossiper that they are doing a
public service. It is crucial to note that you have to be careful about what you
say around a gossiper since they are quite skillful in enabling your shadow.
Don’t criticize or complain about people around gossipers or you will regret it.
The following are some elicitation techniques to add to your bag of tricks that
you can use on anyone.

Elicitation Techniques

Elicitation is the science and art of extracting information from people

without arousing suspicion. The best elicitors can camouflage an elicitation
session as a complete and normal conversation. In the business world,
companies and agencies rely on elicitors heavily to scope and investigate the
competition. After all, knowledge is power and the person that gets left out of
its stream stays in the dark. The following are some techniques that you can
use in conversation.

Assumed Knowledge: The elicitor can pretend to possess insider knowledge

that he or she shares with the target. That knowledge can be about people,
systems, events, or whatever. The same thing is true for connections. Let’s say
that, you want to know about someone’s relationship with their boss. You
state: “The HR guys I used to work with at X company used to complain a lot
about the old hag back at the office, quite the temper..”. It’s not wise to hit
them in the time they are happy, best to use when they display signs of
frustration. This way they are more likely to go on a rant, and less likely to
penetrate your intention.

Intentional false information: The elicitor uses false information, in the

form of a fact, or a general statement, to get the target to correct them. It
works best if the person is disagreeable by nature or takes pride in being a
scholar or insider. It exploits their competitive nature. Example: “I don’t know
man, people seem quite skeptical about ‘x technology/method/approach, it
sounds like an out of reach goal from this side.”

Oneupmanship technique: Another technique that plays on the need to

compete and the excitement of pushing boundaries is by sharing an extreme
narrative or story in a way that the other person would aim to top it. Let’s say

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that the elicitor wants to spread chaos into the target’s life by destroying his
marriage. He takes him into a bar for a few drinks, a place where attractive
women are in every corner. Now, he points out some random woman and starts
telling a wild story about his Casanova adventure with this European chick. He
makes the story very colorful and interesting to push the target to boost his
ego by sharing an even more epic tale of sexual taboo.

Macro to Micro: In the beginning, the conversation must start with a broad
topic on the macro level, and slowly move it towards the specific and micro. If
you want to know about a specific policy. You start with Politics, then move
towards work politics, then hiring policies, then new vs old hiring policy, and
so on. It’s quite useful to scale up back once the information is attained to
make the conversation seem normal.

Feigned ignorance: The elicitor could pretend to be ignorant about a

specific topic to push the person to educate them on the subject. It exploits the
need to be recognized as an authority. ‘I can’t seem to understand this point
over here, I’m new to this whole domain. Hiding one’s abilities is useful in a lot
of ways. This is merely one of them.

Estimation or bracketing: When the goal is to lure the target to provide a

specific number, one can box that information by sharing both high and low
estimates. Example: “It’s been quite the time since Maria and John went on a
vacation. I suspect that they will be away for a week or even a month”. “Yes,
John said they booked a 10-day trip.” The elicitor can use this information for
whatever reason she wishes.

These are merely a few techniques. If you feel like someone is trying to
entice information out of you, you can stop it by ignoring their question or
statement, giving a bland answer, answering a question by a question, sharing
that you have no clue, or asking about why they are interested in the subject.
If the information they are asking is quite sensitive and your job is discreet you
can refer them to public domain sources such as websites or state that you
don’t have the authorization to share that information. If the person is too
pushy, you can either end the conversation or let them know that you will
share their intrusive behavior with the subject of their inquiry if they don’t
stop. Practice elicitation in no-pressure low-cost situations to get better at it.
Decide what you want to know beforehand for better results. And don’t forget
that it’s always useful to visualize the conversation, and most likely scenarios
or reactions that will occur.

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Action: Use at least one of these techniques in your next conversation.

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 DETECT INSTIGATORS

“Chaos is a ladder.” — George R.R. Martin

Force Them To Lead By Example

It’s a common tactic for some people to play the role of an agent
provocateur. Someone who will try and poison your mind with ideas, trying to
get you to commit to doing something criminal, unethical, or even harmful to
your interests. The goal of this is to compromise your social, political, or
personal position in a group, with the law, or with someone specific. They
might try to push some new project, appeal to your dark side working as a
shadow enabler of your most intimate desires. They might notice your large
appetite for women and try to push you to cheat on your wife, either directly
or indirectly. Of course, they plan to get you to self-sabotage and thus slowly
but surely eliminate your allies and drive the peace away.

So many motives an instigator has, rarely good, no matter how appealing

they might seem. Instigators stir trouble by spreading rumors and lies. Divide
et imperia is their motto. They create wedges between people, sit back and
watch the world burn around them. There are some qualities that they exhibit
and signs they give away that will help you avoid their little shenanigans.

The first sign is, They insinuate or suggest ideas for projects or actions but
are not willing to take the lead. They push you to incriminate yourself but
avoid incriminating themselves. Hence a way to trap them is to make sure they
lead whatever brilliant idea they come up with, if they refuse or back away
then they are either a potential instigator, cowardly, or sterile. Either way, you
don’t have to take them seriously if they share with you any more ideas.

The second sign, in times of trouble, when everyone is panicking, they are
usually calmer than others. Try to notice which members of the group are
observing others closely for their reactions. Instigators enjoy the chaos they
spread and rejoice in seeing people rattled, confused, and desperate. Make a
mental note if you see someone exhibiting this behavior. They could be

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potential suspects.

The third sign is that instigators exhibit gossipy behaviors, they spread their
crafted rumors or others’ rumors if that helps their cause. If you hear a
harmful rumor, try to trace it back to its source. Investigate each node and get
closer to its roots. The problem with snitches and gossipers is that they quickly
turn on each other. You can use that to your advantage. If you want to know
something about someone elicit the info from people who seem to know
everything that goes around.

You can share with them false info about someone and they will share with
you who is doing what. Sometimes, you can even talk around a topic, and their
impulsive nature will kick in. Gossipers, snitches, and instigators are usually
cowards at heart. So with little pressure or leverage on your part can get them
to spill the beans and eventually track the real perpetrators. While cowardly,
they might not be weak. Avoid any physical altercations with them. Violence is
a failure in cunning.

Action: Detect the person who stirs trouble in your group of friends, or
colleagues. Can you notice other signs they exhibit and tricks they use? Create
a file for them with a codename and write down what you have learned and
observed.

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 DETECT SNITCHES

Rats, spies, snitches, whatever you want to call them exist in almost every
group from government institutions, commercial organizations, sports teams,
colleagues, friends, and even family.

Canary Trap

Barium meal test or the canary trap is a method of exposing a leak of

information by sharing different versions of a sensitive rumor, secret, or
document to each of several suspects and noticing which version gets leaked.
These documents often contain specific wording to see if the suspect will repeat
them verbatim. So maybe the person devising this trap can use a thesaurus to
make each version unique for example. This can be done in personal or
business emails, scopes, or reports.

in 2003, Saddam Hussein suspected that one of his closest staff members
betrayed him and is working with the US government. Saddam escaped getting
killed by telling each of his staff members that he will be hiding in a specific
house. After one of those houses got destroyed he knew who was the informant
and that informant was never seen again. The trick might seem simple but can
be powerful with a little bit of imagination and discretion.

There was a case where Elon Musk, the world's richest man, tried to set this
trap but failed. Back in 2008, Tesla had known several leaks of important
information that got Elon pissed. So he decided to send slightly altered versions
of an e-mail to suspected leakers. The e-mail was camouflaged as a request for
signing a non-disclosure agreement but his plan was backfired by the general
counsel who accidentally forwarded his unique version of the e-mail with the
attached agreement. Now, everyone had a safe copy to leak to the media if they
wanted to, this maneuver created an atmosphere of suspicion in the workplace.
In the NBA, Joe Dumars, Detroit Pistons President of Basketball Operations, was
fined half a million dollars in 2010 for leaking information to Yahoo. He got
caught using the same trap, NBA spread different versions of the same
document to each team.

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 Use this trick in your life. Let's say every time you organize a private
meeting, someone you didn't invite shows up, and all your friends deny
inviting them. Find the leak by sharing a specific and different time with each
one of your suspects. Tell person A, the meeting will be around 4 p.m. Tell B,
it's 5. And C, it's 6. And wait. Try to minimize the suspects before you set the
trap. Or if you have one suspect, you can alter the location instead of the time.
Instead of different clocks, it would be different apartment floors.

In reference works such as dictionaries, encyclopedias, and maps. You can

find Fictitious entries that are deliberately used as a copyright trap to expose
plagiarism and copyright infringement. For example, back in 2005, The New
Oxford American Dictionary defined the word ‘esquivalience’ as ‘the willful
avoidance of one’s official responsibilities. Esquivalience is not a real word.

At certain times, if a person suspects that a new recruit is an experienced

and sharp spy in their camp, they might have to share important information,
to catch him or her. For example, they might reveal the name of one of their
non-important informants in the competition's camp, If they notice some kind
of change, they will know they have a spy on their hands. the unit might lose
their informant but they will unmask or stop the enemy's informant from
inflecting serious damage to their business. Sun Tzu called these Doomed spies,
the ones you sacrifice to deceive the enemy. The best spies are adaptable to the
environment and capable of being brash or shameless.

Action: Use the no-contact strategy and cut snitches from your life, if you
can’t limit your time with them.

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 READ PEOPLE'S MINDS

Wouldn’t the world be a lot easier, without having to discern and interpret
human intentions? Most people would give a lot to earn the ability to read
people’s minds and know when they are telling the truth or simply spreading a
lie. The following are some strategies used by professionals in deception
detection.

Establish A Baseline

The human race is quite creative in finding ways to both torture and
deceive its members. There are several strategies, tactics, techniques, gambits,
and tricks that serve the goal of distracting the other person from knowing the
truth but there are only a few ways of sharing that truth. This is why it’s much
more efficient in deception detection to not focus so much on how someone
deceives us but rather on the signals and behaviors they display when they are
telling the truth. Instead of knowing when they are telling the lie, we focus on
knowing when they are telling the truth. This saves a tremendous amount of
time and headache.

Investigators often refer to this method as establishing a baseline. A

baseline is a person’s usual normal behaviors, how they act in their daily life in
a casual stress-free environment. If you know the person, you are already
familiar with some of their baseline. However, it won’t hurt to make it a habit
to pay attention to this information. Such is the case why police officers take
time asking the suspects normal questions, questions they already know the
answer to like their name, their address, their occupation. They are practically
trying to set a standard for how they react when providing truthful, a matter
of fact statements. It’s the same way lie-detectors work. They lure you with
normal questions before they strike you with accusatory or stressful ones.

When trying to establish a person’s baseline, pay attention to behaviors that

include speech patterns, vocal patterns, gesturing, eye contact frequency, and
other non-verbal patterns, as well as small talk,

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 Speech patterns include sarcasm, figures of style, distancing behavior, use
of pronouns, hesitation, pauses, rambles, repetition of words, short responses,
grammatical structures and so much more. Vocal patterns include pitch
whether high or low, tempo whether fast, normal, or slow, intensity, tone,
melody, articulation, rhythm, jitter, and so on.

Non-verbal includes posture, eye contact, gestures, and other factors. Do

they usually stand up straight or bend their back? Do they avoid eye contact?
Do they use any specific hand movements when explaining their ideas or
showing disapproval? Do they have a resting bitch face or poker face? Do they
initiate small talk or go straight to the point? How do they carry themselves
and the conversation?

Pay attention to anything that seems odd to you in their baseline. These
quirks are a part of their personality and noticing them early on will save you
from making mistakes once you are looking for deviations when you expose
the other to pressure. Constantly touching one’s nose might be a quirk for
someone like the philosopher Slavo Zizek but not necessarily for you. Looking
at the ceiling while explaining an idea could be a quirk for Elon Musk but not
for you. Fidgeting, touching nose, looking at the ceiling are not necessarily
indications of deception but could be simply a unique quality to that person.

Find Deviations

Once you have established a baseline, it’s time to start looking for
deviations from the norm in the person’s behavior. Let’s say that you suspect
that your spouse is lying to you about their recent travel activities. You suspect
that he is cheating on you with someone else, and instead of visiting his friend
as he told you, he was having sex with some ex-girlfriend outside the city.

Since you studied beforehand his baseline, you choose to ask him a few
questions after he comes back. You initially start with how is he doing? How
was his trip? These are baseline questions, after all, he was on a trip. You
notice some of the elements discussed in the previous chapter. Then you ask
the heavy questions. How were John and his wife Marie? Maybe you ask a
second question and you observe if there are any changes in his behavior.
Maybe he is talking at a faster rate, or using too many words, maybe he is
giving paragraph answers in opposition to how he answered other questions.

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How does he behave after you change the subject? Does his body experience
some sense of relief?

This skill requires training and patience. Awkwardness is a sign that you
are learning something new. Be patient with yourself. Through establishing a
baseline and looking for deviations you will manage to read people’s minds and
detect their deceptions.

Find Out Their Motive

Human beings walk through life in different shoes, for different reasons,
and aiming at different goals. If you figure out what motivates someone to do
what they do and say what they say, you can unlock the darkroom that is their
brain, and predict their future behaviors as accurately as almost anyone can.
This is why hiding one’s motives and intentions is the most potent skill in
covering one’s tracks. The most celebrated author, George R.R. Martin once
said that “A man with no motive is a man no one suspects.” Nothing could be
closer to the truth.

Many so-called experts however tend to commit mistakes when trying to

discern someone’s motives. The first mistake is that they often mix the concept
of motive with personality. Motives change with time depending on people’s
needs and wants. Personalities are patterns of behavioral responses that are
consistent across situations. The second mistake is that most people lack the
self-awareness necessary to understand their motives, these types of motives
are referred to as latent motives instead of know motives that are called
manifest motives. This requires more effort on your part. An effort that begins
with monitoring their actions instead of words.

When Does The Passive Player Move?

Some people are harder to read than others. They envelop themselves in
mystery or take the unpredictable route. Such types are more equipped to be
good deceivers. The best deceivers are active and opportunistic. Using lies and
half-lies to solidify their agendas, and scams; spreading their web of deception.
The best deceivers do not wait passively until the last moment to make their
move. For example, a serial cheater can develop a habit of showering twice

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daily to mask their future transgressions. If she showers early in the morning
every day, yet comes back two days in a row and showers twice, those actions
will be registered as a pattern and it might arouse suspicion in her partner. He
might combine that data with a few other events and know that she is cheating
on him. Patterns and predictability lull people to sleep and are a perfect
bandwagon of deception.

Preparation and speed are keys in war and deception. Pay attention to
people who stray away from their habits, and routine. They might be planning
to do something or are already doing something. But pay even more attention
to people’s routine because that predictability might be masking something.
Passive players are easier to monitor. Don’t be a passive player. Be active!

Action: Hone your skills through people-watching. Visit coffees and try to
cold and come up with theories on what type of background the people have.

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 MANAGE PEOPLE’S PERCEPTIONS

"Perception precedes reality." — Andy Warhol

Self-Presentation

Human beings are obsessed with how others see them, their self-image,
They want to create the desired impression in the other’s mind, an impression
that fits their goals at the moment. The more ambitious ones monitor and
tailor themselves to appear as the right person for the situation. They change
their body language, vocabulary, voice, clothes, personality, attitude, and
environment to project their right aura. At any rate, a scholar by the name of
Jones discussed 5 self-presentation strategies that people combine, and use in
all types of situations.

The first and most common one is ingratiation. The individual who uses
ingratiation wants to create the impression of being likable. He or she will
radiate an aura of warmth and generosity. Their favorite weapons are
compliments and favors. The ingratiator will charm others by imitating and
mirroring their behaviors, and project as many desirable qualities as they can.
You know someone like this in real life. If the individual is too direct with his
machination, they will be perceived as manipulative and fake.

The second strategy is exemplification. The types who overuse this want to
appear virtuous, moral, and good. They love their high-horses. They paint a
picture of a martyr who sacrifices parts of themselves, and resources to do the
right thing, to give to charity, to follow the path of god, or Christ, or nation.
They captivate with sacrifice and self-denial. “Look at me! I’m denying myself
independence to be a good mother.” “Look at me! I’m denying myself drinking
to be your designated driver.” They work so hard on appearing as the poster
child of goodness and morality.

The third strategy is self-promotion. All of us want to be perceived as

capable, and competent individuals who can do what they set our minds to.
When someone self-promotes, they will exaggerate their strengths and

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minimize their weaknesses. Someone guilty of this, would talk about their
abilities, or compare themselves to others, in the area where they excel. Self-
promoters talk about being “the best to have ever done this.” Lying about one’s
credentials or IQ is common among applicants to high-paying jobs. If the self-
promoter is unwise, they would sacrifice being liked to appear competent.

The fourth strategy Is supplication. Supplication is the opposite of self-

promotion. It deals with minimizing one’s achievement and maximizing one’s
weaknesses. Women are often guilty of this. They would play the princess in
distress to make her boyfriend feel manlier. Supplicators often hide their
abilities to avoid responsibility or waste their resources for example. You might
know someone like this who pretends they can’t cook a certain meal, use a
certain tool, know a certain solution so you do it. Supplication is also referred
to as self-depreciation. Someone who overly does this would make fun of
themselves to entertain the group. Be careful of those who hide their abilities.

The last strategy is intimidation. Intimidation is useful in certain dangerous

situations like in the world of crime. Animals make themselves bigger or
release a specific smell, or liquid to let their attacker know that they are not to
be missed with. Instead of appearing capable, they want to appear dangerous,
maybe even ruthless. Silence can be a very effective intimidation tool. People
will go out of their way to fill the silence with words to stop the interaction
from becoming hostile or awkward. Threats and blackmail are extreme
versions of intimidation.

Action: Take 5 minutes, and order these strategies from the one you are
most likely to use to the least. Try to match each strategy with at least one
person from your life.

Center Your Reputation Around One Quality

"Give a man a reputation as an early riser, and he can sleep 'til noon." —
Mark Twain

People are creatures of habit. They are quite reluctant to change their views
on persons and ideas. Once you have acquired a reputation, they will only see
what supports it. Blinded by confirmation bias, they perceive the actions of
those with a previous bad reputation as negative. This makes it difficult for

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you to run away from the past, and your built-in reputation. Unless you
change the environment completely and start new, use absence to recreate
yourself, create the illusion of change, or use other techniques, it will be a
challenge to change people’s image of you. If you have built your reputation
around being an early riser, regardless of what you do, people will affirm your
reputation by themselves since it’s easier than to build a new avatar of you in
their mind’s eye.

To create a reputation, one must choose a quality that would work as its
cornerstone. This quality might depend on the area of life you want to
remaster. It makes more sense to establish a reputation of being rational in
your career than in your dating life for example. At any rate, pick a trait you
want others to associate with you, and slowly and consistently affirm that new
identity. Don’t pick too many things or you will be overwhelmed. Moreover,
people will see too much change at once, and that would trigger their
suspicions. Make it seem natural because people disdain the artificial and
mechanical.

Maybe it’s generosity, intelligence, or resilience. Whatever it is, work subtly,

drop hints of such qualities in your well-crafted stories. In the pickup world,
they call them ‘DHVs’ which stand for demonstrations of higher value. DHVs
are tools to enhance people’s perception of one’s value. In this case, sexual
market value. But most importantly, your most potent weapon is your action.
Act as if everyone is always watching. And constantly ask yourself: Will a
generous person do this? Will a resilient person do that? And make sure the
answer always aligns with your goals. Such displays are best used in front of
loudmouths, and gossipers, because they can indirectly work as your free
propaganda machine. You know who those people are so don’t hesitate to make
use of their abilities. If you act like they are not supposed to know, they are
more likely to be hooked.

Hopefully, this quality is aligned with your character but it’s not necessary
to be the case. It’s much easier to accentuate existing qualities than fabricate
new ones. Keep in mind that If your character is solid, your reputation
becomes harder to manage.

Action: Pick one quality, for each area of your life ( Career & Relationships
) and start publicly reinforcing it.

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Name-Dropping

A clever impression management strategy is name-dropping. According to

Bohra and Pandey, The strategy of name dropping “… implies use of the name
or reference of a third person (generally powerful and well known in the
society) during the conservation with the target person.” This works in the
persuader’s favor reinforcing their perceived attractiveness or credibility. The
value of the person and the probability of their persuasion to work increases.

It can be used in numerous situations. A politician like the former U.S.

President, Donald Trump, used to constantly drop the names of celebrities or
experts, mentioning them as friends. Trump gains favor with potential voters
simply by dropping the name of Tom Brady, a famous American Football star
for instance.

Moreover, in the field of social engineering that specializes in penetrating

security systems through the exploitation of the human element, hackers often
drop the name of a superior to gain access to a certain floor or a specific room
or machine as part of the third-party authorization. The hacker would say
something like “Mrs. Sanchez said I should contact you to get this
information.” In combination with other strategies mentioned in this book. it
can render the social engineer quite effective.

Some sneaky professors lure their students to name-drop in oral exams, to

fish who knows who, and how the student’s success or failure might benefit
them personally. People who use name-dropping successfully use the name as a
distant side character and do not explain too much until their target asks
questions about it. Name-dropping is a form of killing with a borrowed knife. It
is using another’s image and resources to achieve one’s aims.

Action: Test name-dropping in a conversation today.

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 CREATE A SOLID CONNECTION WITH
OTHERS

“Great communication begins with connection.” —Oprah Winfrey

Use Their Name

"Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language." —
Dale Carnegie.

For a person like you who has so many sweet songs to sing, there is nothing
sweeter in your mind than the sound of your name. You relish in it. You love it
when others call you by name, especially one you have chosen by yourself.
Dale Carnegie first mentioned the importance of the name in his ageless book
“How to make friends and influence people” however, it was common wisdom
for ages before him.

Names are quite important because a name stands for a legend, a myth of
your own. It is often eluded to in fiction that the person who knows your name
has total power over you. In Egyptian history, Isis, the Egyptian goddess
gained tremendous power over The sun god Ra after she learned his name
using trickery. This eventually led her to get what she wants which is getting
her son Horus on the throne. In the Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, a character by
the name of Bilbo Baggins hid the dragon from learning his real name using all
sorts of gambits. In the Harry Potter book series, The main villain, Voldemort
was referenced as ‘The one who shall not be named. People were afraid to call
him by name because that will immediately call his followers to the location of
whoever spoke it.

Using a person’s name is a charm on its own. It opens their hearts and gets
their immediate attention. In collectivistic cultures, they put the family name
first before one of the individuals. Thus, being able to call a person by their

28
name is a sign of connection and the beginning of a deep relationship. Make a
habit of using people’s names in conversations with them. Don’t say: “How are
you?” Say: “How are you, Ayoub?” Don’t say: “Tell us about what happened”
Say:” David, Tell us what happened?”.

The last thing to mention is like any charm or trick, overusing it will spoil it
or even reverse its effects. If someone prefers to be called by their last name,
respect their wishes. In their mind, using their name is earned. And it might
seem silly to you, it’s certainly not to them. If you live in diverse places, it’s
crucial to learn about intercultural communication.

Action: From now on, greet every person using their name.

Mirror Their Behavior

“Mirror mirror tell me, who is the most beautiful in the world?”
“It’s you..my reader.”

Just like the name reflects a person’s identity and personal power, so do
their actions, and values. It’s a common adage that imitation is the sincerest
form of flattery. The symbol of the mirror reflects both what we love and hate
about ourselves.

Ask yourself: What qualities does he value in himself? What ideas of her
own, does she appreciate? What are their likes and dislikes? What are their
interests and hobbies? Who are the real people, fictional characters that they
see themselves as?

Figure out the answers to these questions and start emulating those
behaviors. If your boss is known for his hard work, mirror that behavior. Be
the last person to leave the office. You just need to create a perception of the
quality, it doesn’t have to be real. If your love interest considers herself
interesting, take a page from their book and take on a specific habit of hers.
Something not too feminine or masculine.

People love to hear their words in other people’s mouths. Pay attention to
what people say. What are their linguistic habits? Do they speak softly, or
energetically? Match their energies and even body language. Don’t do it

29
immediately or too much or it will seem fake and annoying.

Chriss Voss is of the world’s elite high-pressure negotiators and he advised

to make other people feel listened to by repeating the last one-to-three words of
what they say. It’s saying that you heard what they said and that repetition is
proof of it. Mirroring of words becomes much more powerful if it’s followed by
silence in the form of pause for instance. Use the skill of mirroring in low stake
conversations to go over the awkwardness of learning this new skill.

Does he have a favorite catchphrase? Remember what people say to you or

even in general. In arguments, it’s quite an effective weapon to convince them.
Echo their sentiments and dispositions. Only then can you lower their
resistance effectively.

Action: Create separate files on the 3 most important people in your career
and personal life. Fill those files with all the important information you have
collected or recalled about them.

Find A Common Enemy

“Give people a common enemy, and you will give them a common
identity.” — James Alison

Most of us spend decades of our lives directionless, chasing useless and

trivial pursuits, relationships, ideas, and beliefs. We lack a sense of purpose, a
form of struggle. Our struggle is that we don’t have a tangible struggle,
something or someone to point our focus against. Our struggle is existential
and appears out of our control. Enemies give us a concrete target and a
surprising sense of purpose.

Finding a common enemy or even creating one has been a political strategy
of many nations. After all, we have to find someone to blame for our failures.
Adolf Hitler successfully established the jews as enemy number one of Germany
leading to the unity of purpose and conviction that was missing for ages; He
called the enemy, the eternal jew. Same thing with the unfortunate 911
incident. Americans were more united than ever facing the common enemy of

30
Al-Quaeda. The common enemy strategy helped the American government
justify its war against Iraq.

Few things can create a solid connection between you and other people
than common struggle. Misery loves company after all. This ‘them’ in the ‘us vs
them dynamic’ doesn’t have to be an actual person, it can be an object, a
ritual, a behavior, a place, a country, an idea, a belief. Whatever it takes.
Never underestimate the power of hatred.

Do a little bit of research about the person and find what they hate, the
people they dislike in the office, the school, the community, and so on. Find out
why. Then express those feelings in a suitable situation.

Example: Emilie hates her coworker Jena. You need Emilie’s access to key
files but your relationship with her has been bland or even negative. By
expressing a slight dissatisfaction about some habit or conduct displayed by
Jenna in front of Emilie you create a bond of sorts. It’s better to agree if any
dissatisfaction was expressed without your interference. Just be careful in case
it was a trap.

Action: Pick someone that interests you and figure out what they hate.

Show Some Vulnerability

"We need to feel trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable to

trust." — Brené Brown

In the fashion world, perfection is looked on as boring. Imperfection

however is interesting and even encouraged. The human condition is in itself
imperfect and has taken millions of years to arrive at its current form. With
little fragile bodies and even more fragile psychological makeup, we gathered
around, formed tribes, communities, worked together to survive, and became
nature’s apex predator. This is mostly thanks to our social and dependent
nature. Without vulnerability and weakness, we as humans, wouldn’t be here
today.

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 A strong bond is often built on pain and vulnerability. If you appear too
perfect, you will be alienated as someone to be feared and avoided. How can
you trust someone with no apparent weaknesses? Thus, you have to make it a
habit from time to time of confessing or showcasing some form of weakness.
Make it something relatable, painful yet still dignified. Perhaps a little mistake
you made at work. Or an embarrassing accident with a potential romantic
partner. Talleyrand, the minister of Napoleon was a master at this. He would
go even a step further and share false memories. His show of vulnerability
gained him allies and their favor. Deceivers often borrow stories from someone
they used to know and adopt them as their own.

Showing vulnerability in a private setting is incredibly powerful because it

creates a sense of intimacy and even sacredness. A secret that only two people
know. Your world of two. The display of vulnerability should match the
situation the other is going through. Keep in mind that relationships that are
built on truth are more powerful, so don’t abuse this principle. If the person is
worth the trouble in your eyes, you can be vulnerable instead of faking the
whole thing.

Action: Reflect on the most memorable instances when people displayed

vulnerability in front of you this past month. Did any of them seem fake? What
gave them away?

Find A Middle Ground

Reality is about compromise. Without compromise and balance little will be

established and maintained. We all think our opinions, values, and inclinations
matter. They matter to us, to our loved ones, and sometimes even strangers.

Finding a middle ground in any relationship is about showing proper

respect and interest in the other. Pay attention to what they say as if they are
the most important person in your life, make eye contact, don’t interrupt
them, don’t complain. It’s essential to appear presentable and to keep the
morale up. Jim Smyth is a top investigator who was responsible for breaking an
elite Canadian airforce Colonel to confess a murder in less than 50 minutes.
When he was asked what’s the most important principle he can teach someone
to achieve what he achieved, he said that at the end of the day it’s about
respect. Everyone wants to feel respected.

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 The next key is to acknowledge that some differences of opinion do exist. If
you deny your differences, suspicion will arise, and the conversation will be
stamped merely as a theatrical piece. Most differences can be worked through
as long as saving face is a priority.

Avoid face-threatening acts. A person’s face is their self-image, what the

individual wants to identify as. There are two aspects to this face: positive face
and negative face. A positive face contains their right to be acknowledged. This
is done by exaggerating sympathy for the person, emphasizing their
contributions in the conversation using devices like “You know” and “isn’t it?”.
A negative face relates to protecting what the person values, what’s under their
territory, their right to privacy and attention. Showing a reluctance to
disagree, and avoiding imposing on the other person is key to savoring the
other’s sense of self.

Use in-group-markers: Find out what groups do you both belong to, or talk
as if you belong to the same group. Jargon is one form of this. Maybe both of
you work in the same industry, which can be used to your advantage. Dialect is
another in-group marker. If you are both from a specific area of the country or
the same country, that is an advantage. The same can be said about language,
slang, and terms of address like “bro, mate, fella, babe, cutie, sweetheart”
which are culturally specific.

Know the ‘walk-aways’: The things that you can’t tolerate completely so
you already know when to walk away if things get too heated. Lastly,
Emphasize how the commonalities are more powerful than the differences.

Action: In conversation, pay attention to people’s eye color to improve your

eye contact and communicate that you are interested in what they have to say.

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 BUILD TRUST

“Who can you trust?” — Robert Greene

Humans are social creatures that form relationships of all kinds: social,
political, personal, business to achieve certain goals from creating families,
chasing careers, building empires, or even destroying empires. But whatever
the goal is, trust is necessary to create a bond. Without trust, nothing can be
achieved and certainly, nothing can be sustained for long at least. This begs
the question. How can you establish trust with another?

Associate Yourself With The Trustworthy

“Show me your friends, and I will show you your future” — Unknown

As mentioned earlier, social proof is a useful mental model that predicts

how people behave. Human beings trust those who signal trustworthiness, and
one of those signals is who they associate themselves with. As the ancient
adage tells us: “birds of a feather, flock together.” Or as Jim Rohn eloquently
expressed: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time
with.”

People will determine your level of trustworthiness by the people that

associate their name with yours. Successful or honest people avoid entangling
with criminals or people who are perceived to have a negative moral image. It’s
bad for business and personal life. Thus, you can use this principle to your
advantage. Moreover, people who are perceived to have some negative quality
will go out of their way to repair that image by associating themselves with
exemplars of the positive quality they seek to portray. This is a very common
identity-repair tactic. If a singer is accused of being homophobic or weak, they
will make their next song feature an LGBTQ singer, or rapper.

Body Language Tricks

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 "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." —Ralph
Waldo Emerson

The realm of the non-verbal is mysterious to most and extremely useful to

others. On an unconscious level, your body language has more impact on the
other than what you say. If people determine there is any inconsistency
between the two you are signaled as a potential threat at worst or as
untrustworthy or odd at best.

Body language includes body movement like posture, gestures, facial

expressions, touch, eye contact, and paralanguage in the form of vocal
qualities, vocal characteristics and vocal segregates. In some cultures, certain
expressions of body language can seem odd while other cultures would
perceive them as natural. However, in general, the following principles are
looked upon in a positive light.

To signal trust your posture should be open, your arms and legs not crossed
because this tells the other ‘Hey look! I have nothing to hide. I’m not a threat
to you.” This is why firm handshakes are the best because the palms of both
parties are in full contact; resulting in an unconscious psychological relief.
Pay attention if the person you are about to handshake is wearing a ring or
not, in order not to injure them. This could leave a bad impression. Studies
have shown that even body temperature in touch creates specific impressions.
During handshakes, people with colder hands are perceived as colder and more
emotionally distant.

People respect those with straight and erect body postures because they
seem in charge. Notice how language expresses this very idea. Honest people
are described as straight arrows, stand-up guys, while the untrustworthy as
seen as crooked and twisted. Pay attention to your language and how it signals
what’s good and what’s not.

Next, A smile goes a long way because people trust those they like.
Remember to slowly ease into a smile. Fast smiles seem faker as if the person is
merely moving between characters. Direct eye contact is also a clear sign of
trust, that you are not hiding anything. We believe that only those who need to
hide something avert their eyes. Of course, reading someone’s body language

35
and distinguishing their true intentions takes effort and preparation. However,
the mind wants shortcuts and will see moderate and direct eye contact as
positive. Too much eye contact can signal threat but moderation rarely failed
anyone.

In terms of paralanguage, people trust those who sound reassured, not

hesitant. Vocal segregates are big signals of hesitation. Those ‘um’s’ and ‘Uhs’.
If you have a habit of using Vocal segregates, try to use silence instead. It
makes you seem way more charismatic and helps the others soak in your ideas.
Worst case scenario they see it as a sign of introspection, that you are thinking
while you speak. This is positive if anything.

To conclude, to be seen as trustworthy, have an open body language, with a

straight and erect posture, keep eye contact, don’t forget to smile, and finally,
minimize verbal segregates.

Provide Favors

“What seems to be generosity is often no more than disguised ambition,

which overlooks a small interest to secure a great one.” —Francois de La
Rochefoucauld

One of Cialdini’s principles of persuasion is the concept of reciprocity.

Human beings experience a hidden obligation to repay their debts and the
favors bestowed on them by others. This is because as social animals they
relied on the favors of others to survive throughout history. The act of favor is
akin to survival. If you don’t add value to others you are as good as a dead.

Even the smallest of favors like buying two copies of the same item, driving
someone to a date, saving a seat for someone do build trust over time. It’s
especially powerful if the person needs what you can offer. And it’s even more
powerful if you offer to help them before they ask. Sometimes you can even
directly ask them about what they need right now, or what they want to
achieve.

Ask yourself: What does that person lack or need? What can’t others

36
provide that you can? Maybe you have access to information, to a place, to a
service, to someone that can help them. Don’t sell yourself short. You have
many things to offer. And if you absolutely can’t think of anything to offer,
you can offer your time. Quality time is one of the love languages after all.

Women often drop hints about the things they want you to get them on
birthdays, or valentines. They will take you to a store or talk about a friend of
theirs who got a specific gift. This is called priming. At any rate, people often
give signals to what they need and want, you just have to pay attention.

This rule is super powerful because people will go out of their way and
reciprocate if the one they repaying is someone they dislike. This means that
providing others with favors can be something to abuse. In contrast, be aware
of those who do you favor because they might be trying to gain your trust.

Action: Grant one favor each day for a week. Don’t wait until Monday.
Action wise, every day is a Monday

Be Consistent

“A skeptic, I would ask for consistency first of all.” —Sylvia Plath

A great way to establish and maintain trust is to stay consistent in your

words, behaviors, and personality. People feel comfortable with individuals
who they can predict. That is why businesses associate themselves with
rational individuals with solid reputations. If you are too unpredictable, you
inspire mistrust and even terror. If your goal is to terrify the enemy, then
unpredictability and sending mixed signals are great. But if you want to seem
reliable, consistency should be the goal.

Humans mistake discretion with cunning and believe that what is done in
the open is trustworthy. Warfare and strategy play on this misconception.
That’s why strategists hide their plans in the form of routine. Their enemies get
lulled to sleep because of the predictability. And only then do they strike with
force.

37
 The point is what is predictable, is comfortable because human beings
naturally fear change. Define the principles and values you want to project to
others. Write them down and see to it that you stay solid. You can’t pretend to
be someone else forever. That is why it’s important to build on what you
already have and naturally possess. Accentuate instead of pretending. If you
are naturally impulsive, remember that you are what you do. You can tame
your impulses if you agree with yourself on a reasonable routine to follow. But
immediately trying to box yourself into a new identity will lead to more
problems in the long run.

Action: Ask yourself, What’s one thing do you want to be consistently

doing?

Correct Them Only In Private

“Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly” —Publilius

Syrus

There will come a time when the person whose trust you want to earn, will
cross one of your boundaries. If you correct them or set them straight in front
of everyone, there is a chance they will double down because their sense of self
is on the line. Remember Face-threatening acts? At any rate, it’s quite
preferable if you set them straight in private. Share with them how much you
value their opinion about you, and that their action might have sent others the
wrong message, and compromised your self-image. That you know, it wasn’t
intentionally malicious.

Express how if it was any other person, you might not have reacted as
reasonably. And that you didn’t want to correct them in public because you
don’t want to portray them in a negative light or make others think less of
them. That you know that they don’t care what others think of them. But you
do because you respect them.

This will send a message to this person that you respect them, and thus they
can trust and rely on you in the future to protect their self-image and interest.
They will respect you for standing up for yourself in an assertive yet respectful

38
way.

Others Tricks

Share your secrets with them

Keep their secrets
Keep your word
Abide by common rules
Demonstrate kindness
Don’t speak ill of others
Apologize for your mistakes
Respect their privacy
Stay calm in times of crisis
Avoid Ultimatums

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 FLATTER PEOPLE

"Flattery…raises downcast spirits, comforts the sad, rouses the apathetic,

stirs up the stolid, cheers the sick, restrains the headstrong, brings lovers
together and keeps them united." — Erasmus

Find Something You Genuinely Admire

Who doesn’t want to inspire respect, admiration, or even adulation in

others? Your heart has its sweet tooth, that jumps on anything that makes it
feel good or important. The need to be recognized might be the most essential
psychological need you have. And anyone who chooses to ignore it is ignoring
human nature.

The best compliments are the genuine ones. By looking for qualities, habits,
and values that you already admire and respect in the other, your work is
easier. Ask yourself: what’s one quality that I truthfully find attractive in that
person? Maybe it’s honesty, charisma, intelligence, resilience, whatever it is,
make sure to use it.

An obstacle in flattery is the cognitive load of having to lie. Some people

can’t fake it to save their lives. But when you take this approach you don’t
have to pretend. It also makes you more believable because you exhibit all the
right signals.

Action: Give one genuine compliment to three people today. Be as specific as

possible.

Use Indirect Flattery

"Sweet words are like honey, a little may refresh, but too much gluts the

40
 stomach." — Anne Bradstreet

Just like small talk, flattery is a great social lubricant, that softens the heart
and lowers the resistance. But it is an art. Too much direct flattery will box
you as a kiss-ass or even a sycophant. Treat your women as celebrities and
they will treat you like a fan. Moderation and subtlety are key then.

Not all your compliments should be direct in the form of words. You should
crystallize them in the form of actions. A subtle trick is to ask for people’s help
by targeting their expertise and points of strength. This is even more useful
against men because their life is governed by the need to be useful. They have
a larger chip on their shoulders. You can ask them to show you how to do
something, it should be simple enough that they know how to do it, but not too
simple that you look like an idiot asking.

You can even make little mistakes that are harmless and won’t affect your
reputation but that will make them feel superior to you. If your boss is a
grammar Nazi, you can appeal to that, and use a common wrong spelling of a
word. The ‘common’ part is what will make you not look like an idiot.

Action: Ask someone to teach you something.

Flatter What They Actively Put The Effort In

Imagine a gorgeous woman in her mid-twenties taking a walk around the

city or sitting in a public bar. How many times do you think people compliment
her on her appearance? The answer depends on the culture but still, beautiful
women get compliments daily. Mostly from other women. Throughout the year
she received hundreds of compliments, and with every compliment centered
around appearance, future compliments dropped in value.

If you compliment someone on something they know about themselves or

are used to get them positive attention from people, your attempt will not leave
an impact. Instead of taking this approach, try and learn about the other’s
hobbies, and the skills they put effort into practicing hours and hours in their
free time. Let’s say, some third party mentions that the woman we are talking
about is taking vocal lessons. That should be your target. Compliment her

41
eloquence. Perhaps she reminds you of some famous person with said quality.
The compliment will be more effective because she is less likely to have heard
it before.

Action: Have you noticed someone around you doing something positive or
helpful? Praise them for it. What gets rewarded, gets repeated.

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 NEGOTIATE AND GET WHAT YOU
WANT

"Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal

is to uncover as much information as possible." — Chris Voss

Labeling Technique

To get people to open up and talk more you can use the labeling technique.
The labeling technique focuses on describing the situation, people’s feelings
and attitudes about things, and their words. Your girlfriend is angry about
something and it’s ruining your date. However, she didn’t mention anything.
You can say. “It seems like you are angry”. Then you pause. Her first instinct
will be to deny or affirm but the silence will push her to think about it. That’s
why the pause is key. She will think to herself maybe I’m angry. As a result,
she is more likely to share what’s on her mind, and why she is angry. Most
importantly, she will become less angry.

Studies identified that merely labeling a negative emotion can minimize it.
This is why it’s an essential practice in mindfulness meditation. You can use it
on yourself as well to label your negative feelings. Labeling a negative feeling
diminishes it and labeling a positive enhances it. When used malevolently, the
labeling technique is very effective in inducing the illusion of mystical
experiences. More on those in the chapter that talks about cult-making secrets.

Labels start with expressions like “It feels like”, “It seems like”, “It looks
like”. Then, followed by the actual description. “It feels like you are
disappointed”. “It looks like you are an interesting person”. “It seems like you
value friendship”. The great thing about effective labels is that they focus on
the ‘You’, the other person, and their emotion, opinion, and understanding.
Using ‘I’ communicates you are more interested in what they have to say
instead of what they have to say. “I think that you…” “What I’m picking up is
that you are”. These examples are bad labels. Chris Voss, author, and
negotiator considers the labeling technique as a trust-based persuasion

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technique. This means that it’s a low-cost approach to creating trusting
relationships.

Moreover, labeling someone’s traits will give them a reputation to uphold.

Example: Vlad wants to tell his acquaintance Raj that he can no longer do
what he promised. Raj senses this couple of days ago when he noticed that
Vlad is avoiding him. So Raj will make the first move. “Everyone knows you
are a reliable guy, Vlad. I’m not worried that you are more than capable of
fulfilling what you promised. Take your time buddy!”. This way, Raj effectively
and preemptively dealt with the situation using the labeling technique.

Action: Apply this technique today.

Foot-In-The-Door Technique

Fraser and Freedman, defined the foot-in-the-door technique in their

famous paper “compliance without pressure”, as the process of getting someone
to agree to a large request by initially getting them to agree to a smaller one.
This is because of Caldini’s commitment and consistency principle. The person
is hooked because he or she is already invested.

this technique has simple and numerous applications in the real world. It is
subtle but effective. For example, a student who requests the professor for a
digital copy of one lesson, and their request is accepted, is more likely to be
successful at getting a digital copy for all lessons.

Benjamin Franklin was a master of using this technique. He would ask

someone that dislikes him for an instance to borrow something. The latter
would accept to seem like a total cheapskate. Eventually, the person would
start wondering that one of the reasons he lent the item was because he maybe
secretly liked Franklin.

Action: Apply this technique today.

Door-In-The-Face Technique

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 Unlike the foot-in-the-door technique that initiates with a small request
moving to a larger one, the door-in-the-face technique does the complete
opposite. Robert Caldini, the author of the best-selling book “Influence: The
Psychology of Persuasion”, has researched the subject heavily in his paper
“Reciprocal Concessions Procedure for Inducing Compliance: The Door-in-the-
Face-Technique”.

He, alongside Vincent, Lewiss, and Catalan defined the concept as a

rejection-then-moderation procedure where the persuader would make a large
or difficult request to the target, and if rejected, he or she would follow with a
moderate request either directly after rejection or after some time. This paper
built on the general concept “You should give benefits to those who give you
benefits”. And applied it beyond benefits and services to concessions. This idea
is further supported in Chertkoff’s work on concessions as bargaining
strategies, how the frequency of concessions a seller makes, impact the
frequency of concessions a buyer makes.

In the real world, a group of workers might apply this principle by asking
the boss to postpone a task, or deadline for two weeks for example. Once the
boss rejects their request, they can ask for one week. Because of this
concession, the superior is more likely to concede as well. You can use this
even if you didn’t plan to be rejected from the start. Use an existing rejection
to ask for less so you will at least get something.

Action: Apply this technique today.

Pique Technique

The Von Restorff effect or the isolation effect is the idea that people are
more likely to remember things and people that are distinctive. If you provide
someone with a list of 10 items, in which 9 of them are black, and one that is
red. They will remember the red item. The pique technique capitalizes on this
principle. People are more likely to accept a distinctive and odd request because
it draws their attention and it disrupts people’s mindless rejection scripts. Faced
with unusual requests, people are more likely to pause and wonder the reason
for such oddity and therefore deliver on the request.

Magazines for instance would give their articles unusual titles to disrupt the

45
reader’s “skim it” script. An experiment demonstrated the usefulness of the
pique technique by getting a beggar to ask for odd amounts of spare change.
Instead of averting their eyes, people complied with the requests when the
beggar asked for 17 cents instead of a dollar. People were 60% more likely to
comply with the unusual requests. The weirdness of the request pushed the
passengers to think of the beggar as a human being with real concrete needs
instead of just an archetypal figure or a burden on society. Don’t ask people to
meet you at 2 a.m. sharp but 2:13 instead. Don’t ask for a week delay but a 55-
hour delay. Don’t ask for a 1k raise, ask for a 920 dollar raise.

Action: Apply this technique today

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 TURN YOUR ENEMIES INTO ALLIES

“Do I not destroy my enemies by making them my friends?” —Emperor

Sigismund

Redirection

“A common danger unites even the bitterest enemies.” — Aristotle

Redirection uses the philosophy of Aikido, the martial art that focuses on
using the energy of the attacker as a way of defense. Redirection is the
transformation of negative energy from you to something or someone else. It
starts by removing the enemy from the negative environment that reminds him
or her of the pain of loss, past mistakes, past transgressions, or triggers in
general, into a place that is positive in their mind. A place like their favorite
restaurant for example. That way their negative feelings will be neutralized or
tamed since they will avoid making a scene or making a fool out of themselves
there. With a bit of preparation about the background of the enemy
beforehand, you will know what to avoid, and what to move towards.

You can redirect their negative propensity towards a common enemy, a

common crisis, something that both of you share and dislike. It doesn’t have to
be negative but the main key is to demonstrate that whatever transgressions
that happened in the past were out of the control of both of you. No one is to
blame. You either inherited unnecessary responsibility, you both are under the
thumb of a larger figure or concept, or tradition. Empathy goes a long way.

Don’t Make The Attacks Personal

“Never hate your enemy, it affects your judgment” Michael Corleone (look
for the specific quote)

47
 Hating the enemy is a waste of energy because it overrides one of your most
important tools which is rationality. Rationality is the ability to make effective
decisions that are based on common sense. In times of anger, Sun Tzu, the
author of the art of war advises us to stop. He also emphasizes taking
advantage of the enemy’s choleric temper.

Two things to consider when you are dealing with competition. If you think
you can convert them to your side, it’s much better to avoid any attacks that
target their dignity or hurt the things they love because that will make your
conversion rate drop to 0%. You must learn not to take things personally, and
to use the weapons that are fit to the person and the situation. Hence why,
exterminators don’t kill insects with explosives.

Sun Tzu said: “To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not
the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.”
Rejoicing in victory over others should not be the goal. Ruining their
livelihoods and seeking the overkill is not either. The best fighters win by
understanding that the person facing them is another human being. This
tactical empathy can convert the person from the other side to yours. Read the
section about Mirroring. Use your skills of mirroring and negotiation first. And
keep the gods of war asleep.

The second thing to consider is that showing emotions of hatred and

resentment towards the other will make you seem ugly. No one wants to
associate themselves with the ugly and the toxic because It makes others think
of them as ugly too. You do not want to inspire those feelings in others because
they will box you in the ‘other’ category, the box where we put those we
demonize and objectify.

Action: Forgive someone who has hurt you in the past.

Bury The Hatchet

Consistent stress kills the heart after a while. Just look at Barrack Obama
before and after his presidential terms. Recognize that change is the nature of
life itself and that no one can live and withstand consistent stress. Hence why
it’s essential to make it a conscious and active decision to bury the hatchet
with adversaries, to remove the toxicity from the heart. Show a display of

48
generosity towards them, an omen of goodwill, a desire to patch things up, and
go beyond trivial human affairs.

Example: When Garry Kasparov, the famous world Chess Champion got
arrested for leading a protest against President Vladimir Putin. His lifelong
rival, Anatoly Karpov went to visit him in Jail to extend moral support in those
hard times. The prisoners denied Karpov the visit but he ended up convincing
them to give his old rival some chess magazines for entertainment.

As a result of this small gesture, Kasparov wrote in his next book 'Anatoly
Karpov made an attempt to visit me in prison – the solidarity of champions
proved stronger than political and personal disagreements! He was not able to
do this: the authorities, who did not allow any lawyers to see me, did not make
an exception for Karpov. But in the new system of coordinates, his goodwill
gesture outweighed all the negative factors which had accumulated during our
long years of confrontation.”

Later on, Kasparov and Karpov became friends and the former showed
support for Karpov when he was campaigning to become the President of the
international chess federation. Such is the power of generosity.

Action: Pick a previous enemy, adversary, or rival and demonstrate your

willingness to bury the hatchet. Adopt unexpected honesty and generosity as
your tools.

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 CALM DOWN IN TIMES OF CRISIS

"The strong manly ones in life are those who understand the meaning of
the word patience." — Emperor Tokugawa Ieyasu

Premeditatio Malorum

“Rehearse them in your mind: exile, torture, war, shipwreck. All the
terms of our human lot should be before our eyes.” — Seneca

The word stoic originates from the philosophical movement stoicism spear-
headed by famous figures like the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, the
statesman and writer, Lucius Annaeus Seneca, and finally, the philosopher
Epictetus. To be stoic can be defined as the ability to remain calm under
pressure, to withstand both pain and suffering. Pain that is physical, and
suffering that is psychological. To do so, the Stoics developed a method called
negative visualization.

Negative visualization or Premeditatio Malorum is about preparing mentally

for worse-case scenarios by using daily exposure to negative thoughts to
develop some form of tolerance against the harsh nature of life. The sacred and
wise phrase ‘Memento Mori’ or ‘Remember Death’ is a manifestation of this.
Preparing for death by making it your friend, and constantly remembering it
and thus making it a part of your life.

At any rate, the practice can be described through this process.

Step 1: Imagine a fear that you have. The worst-case scenario that could
happen. What is it? Maybe you lost a work report due to your computer battery
dying. You didn’t save your progress and now everything you worked for in the
past days is gone.

Step 2: Make your situation urgent. Don’t leave it as a potential event, but

50
imagine it happening right now. So sudden! So unfair!

Step 3: Be present in the situation! Feel It so deeply. Use your five senses.
How do you feel? What can you see, hear, taste? Are you completely
devastated? Are you imagining your boss’s reaction? Are you afraid you going
to lose your job?

Step 4: Try to remain calm in that situation. Consciously try to slow down
by taking deep breaths.

Step 5: Take a step back, and ask yourself. What could I do to fix this
situation? How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Maybe you
would ask for more time to work on your report using the door-in-the-face
technique we learned in the previous chapters. Maybe you will install software
that autosaves every minute.

Step 6: Write down a list of fears you have on a sheet of paper and
rearrange them by difficulty from easiest to toughest. Include all. Don’t shy
away. Those fears might be as grave as a deep loss, average as a setback, or as
trivial as an inconvenience.

Examples: (5 minutes)

Fear of biting my tongue.

Fear of public speaking
Fear of losing a job
Fear of disappointing a loved one
Fear of being cheated on
Fear of swimming
Fear of losing your hand
Fear of getting into a car accident
Fear of losing a parent
Fear of dying.

This form of voluntary discomfort not only will strengthen your mind but
will also make you appreciate what you have and indirectly increase your self-
esteem.

Action: Pick a fear and take five minutes to apply this technique.

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Introduce Perspective
“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our
perceptions.” ― Stephen R. Covey

First perspective: The trajectory of impact through time

To introduce perspective you can ask yourself if the horrible situation you
are facing now will still have a major impact on you 5 days, 5 weeks, 5
months, 5 years, 5 decades from now. The most likely answer is that your
situation is not as grim as you believe it. Time heals most wounds.

Second perspective: Compare this fear/incident to others

Another way is to compare the situation you are currently going through
with something worse you have been through or you could potentially go
through. The first scenario will give you hope that you have already survived
more horrific things and you will find strength in that reality. The second
scenario will demonstrate that situations could always be worse, and in a
sense, you are lucky to only live through this situation. It’s quite useful to keep
a track record of the difficulties you challenged successfully and managed to
defeat. David Goggins calls this the cookie jar. A jar of previous triumphs you
can pull from when you need some strength and reassurance.

Third perspective: Did someone less intelligent, less talented, less

strong, and with fewer resources managed to find a way out of it?

If we know anything it’s that we live in the most prosperous age in history.
There are fewer deaths, less disease, less tyranny, less violence, more
resources, and way more opportunities to thrive. In summary, people have
gone through worse. People who are not as brilliant, as educated, or as
fortunate as you are. This perspective is suggested by none other than ‘The
Human Guinea Pig’, Tim Ferriss.

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Arousal Control Techniques
“I always felt pressure before a big fight, because what was happening
was real.” —Muhammed Ali

In anticipation of danger, the human body prepares itself to combat by

releasing adrenaline in the body creating a fight or flight reaction in you, a
dose of energy preparing you for the worst to come. It also releases another
hormone called norepinephrine that makes your senses hyper-aware of what’s
going on around you. The heart starts pumping more blood in your most
vulnerable areas i.e. vital organs, especially lungs in case of an attempt to
escape.

In sports psychology, athletes prepare for these surges in arousal

beforehand to control themselves in times of elite competition. The following
are some of the arousal control techniques used by athletes that can help you
to remain calm in a crisis.

1- Breathing techniques: The act of breathing calmly and heavily can

hypnotize your body into calming down. One of the common breathing
exercises is the 4x4 technique. You inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 4
seconds. You repeat the process for about 5 minutes for the best results.

2- Music: Music is magic because it completely shifts your emotional state.

Have you ever been completely fine, and you started listening to some piece of
sad music only to end up losing time? Exactly! Athletes often listen to music
beforehand to keep their stress levels low. Kobe Bryant used to listen to the
Halloween theme song to put himself in a calm state. Music can be a ritualistic
tool to shift your mentality. If you can’t listen to music at that moment. You
can chant something internally or externally. Buddhist monks chant the word
‘Om’. Vikings have their chants as well. If you can’t do either try the next one.

3-The use of affirmations: Affirmations have been used by athletes for ages.
One famous example of this use is Muhammed Ali’s “I am the greatest.” Some
find them useful others lame. You choose your attitude.

53
 Examples:

‘I can handle this situation.’

‘I got this’
‘I am strong.’
‘I’m the master of my destiny

Affirmations should be first and foremost positive, short, clear. They should
also start with ‘I’ and be formulated in the present tense. It’s better to use your
affirmations based on what you value.

Action: Watch something extremely scary to you, and use the 4x4 breathing
technique to witness the power of breathing.

54
 DIVIDE AND CONQUER

“Divide and rule, the politician cries; Unite and lead, is watchword of
the wise.” ― Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Inspire Envy & Jealousy

“To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” ― Benjamin
Franklin

Narcissistic parents often use this strategy to their advantage by assigning

roles to their children. One child for instance might be designated as the golden
child, the child that can do nothing wrong whatever the circumstances. The
other child will be used as the scapegoat and thus blamed for every mistake or
transgression under the sun. In this manner, the parents or parent assert their
control over both the kids. The golden child will work hard for their approval
and will go to great lengths to seek the parents’ approval and validation. In the
same way, the scapegoat will keep pushing to try and understand what they
did or are doing wrong. The parent will constantly compare the kids to each
other to reinforce this sibling rivalry, and let the emotions of jealousy and envy
fester even more.

Sigmund Freud used to create a rivalry between his students by selecting

one of them each time and designating him or her as his favorite. Through
giving only one of them quality time, and access to his attention, the others
become envious and more thirsty for his approval. Similarly, the chosen
student becomes more arrogant and works harder to please the professor. Thus,
a great way of creating this dynamic lies in paying more attention to one
person over another. Imagine you are talking to two friends, one of them who
is more dominant, and the other is more agreeable, and shy. The first is used to
acquiring all the attention, and expressing their views clearly and confidently,
while the other is more conservative, and gets interrupted more often by their
friend.

55
 By giving the dominant person attention you will gain little since they are
used to it, and their subservient friend won’t notice a difference. However, if
you pay more attention to the quiet one, he or she will grow more confident,
and more aware of the group dynamic. You are indirectly shining light on how
things used to be, and thus, change the dynamic in a way. The dominant friend
will also notice this. Such an act will create tensions between friends. Seducers
learn early on to pay more attention to their target’s girlfriend to stir up some
anxiety and insecurity.

Envy can also be created by overemphasizing the accomplishments, and

positive qualities of one person over another. Let’s say, a parent is worried that
their kid is often spending a lot of time with a friend who appears to have a
negative influence. Instead of ordering their child to cut ties with her friend,
the parent can talk positively about the friend, and mention all their good
qualities, especially the ones that their kid doesn’t possess or is insecure about.
With some verbal repetition as well as making the friend a part of the activities
that only the parent and kid used to do together, envy will be created. This is
of course considered a form of manipulative and abusive parenting but it’s just
an example. Never use your children as pawns.

Find The Paranoid

“Never waste valuable time, or mental peace of mind, on the affairs of

others—that is too high a price to pay”. — Robert Greene

Any alliance can be dismantled and divided if you are cunning and
meticulous enough. Even Cain killed his brother Able. When trying to divide a
group, it is quite necessary to know the attitudes and personalities of its
members. Who are the members that are most secure and solid? Who are the
members that are more insecure and neurotic? Neuroticism is the clinical term
that explains the individual’s propensity and inclination towards negative
emotions from anger, sadness, shame, and so on.

Sun Tzu said: “If your enemy is of a choleric temper, seek to agitate him.”
Find the person who is neurotic, and paranoid about their position. Find the
person who feels at the bottom of the tribe and group. In any group, most
often than not, will be a member who needs constant reassurance and

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validation. Find that person, and use them to wreak havoc on the group.
Reversely, try to associate yourself with people who are emotionally stable or
you will be driven crazy.

If you are someone who is neurotic, you know that your risk assessment
skills are quite useful to the group, however, your instability is a burden on
yourself and others. Find some stability in a routine, stay busy, be aware of
people who are feeding you negative information. People who are paranoid,
while they see most conversations as potential trickery, can be one of the
easiest to control if they don’t develop mood regulation habits.

Action: Recognize the paranoid tendencies in your past and how they can
be used against you.

Gunnysacking

Regardless of how solid a group is, if you dig deep enough in their history,
you will find previous transgressions, irritations, and mistakes, either
consciously or unconsciously been caused by its members. Those transgressions
create resentments and deep festering wounds that if are not properly
acknowledged or internally healed, can lead to future problems. gunnysacking
is the habit of bringing about old resentments and past transgressions of the
partner or group member in a debate, a negative discussion, or a fight.

People don’t simply forget what happened to them and what hurt them in
the past. They keep their negative memories archived somewhere to help them
remember the things to avoid, and the threats to monitor. Hence, paying
attention to people who gunnysack will let your know which wells to poison,
and which ears to target. Gunnysacking is a sure sign of a toxic relationship
and a lack of accountability from the members of the group. Simply reminding
someone of a previous transgression or mistake is not necessarily counted as a
gunnysacking, but it’s rather about the frequency of action.

Action: Recognize and ponder on your tendencies for gunnysacking, and

minimize them by moving your mindset from being right to being happy.

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 CAMOUFLAGE YOUR INTENTIONS
AND COVER YOUR TRACKS

Poker Face

"keep a stiff upper lip" — Famous Adage

Concealing one’s intentions is much more about having an impenetrable

poker face rather than being a masterful actor. It’s about showing less rather
than showing more. If you focus on acquiring a great poker face it can save a
lot of energy.

Regulate how you react to criticism and flattery:

People who are easily moved by flattery are easily moved by criticism as
well. It’s very important for you as a cunning person to learn how to minimize
your reactions to flattery. If people know what makes you move and giggle like
a little girl, they will target it over and over again. Every time they want to get
something from you, they can, because you allowed them to. You have given
them a cheat sheet on how to please you. Now, they have an idea of the types
of compliments you are susceptible to and that is as dangerous as sharing your
weaknesses with them. Similarly, you should use this trick to your advantage.
Try and observe what type of flattery makes people move, smile, blush.
Blushing is a good sign of someone shy and a believer in what you just said. If
you can make someone blush, you are on a good path, because you have
triggered the child within, their inner baby that is still untainted by the
ugliness of the world.

Action: ask yourself what makes you blush or feel flattered. Be honest with
yourself.

Practice with material that triggers your emotions:

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 If you want to become more serious, or at least appear to be, one of the
most useful things you can do is to expose yourself to a comedy or a type of
video that is called a ‘TRY NOT TO LAUGH’ challenge. These challenges are
often unexpected and tricky to win because they hit you will all types of
humor. In the beginning, you will lose most of them if you are naturally a
positive person. But with each video, you will become more and more capable
of controlling yourself. You will develop your techniques of emotional control.
Just like anything, it takes practice. Pick a random challenge, go through it,
and make sure to score yourself based on how many times you laughed. Track
those scores to understand your performance. At the end of the challenge, you
can list what technique helped you or stopped you from achieving your goal.
This can work with almost any emotion. If you want to stop getting angry,
practice with inflammatory material. If you are oversensitive, watch sad
movies. The key is to make the dose manageable and not overly triggering.
Consistent exposure will help improve your poker face. Even kings used to use
this principle to gain some immunity against poison. If it works against certain
poisons, it can work against regular emotions.

Having a Consistent baseline:

We mentioned the importance of establishing a baseline in deception

detection. Try to be consistent in your baseline. It can be quite useful to record
yourself talking, or working to know how you behave in everyday life. How
much do you talk? How frequently do you move your legs or hands when
speaking? What are your nervous ticks? This will give you an idea of your
strengths, weaknesses, and habits about body language. Your task will be to
designate automatic responses and a habitual baseline to prevent someone
from reading you.

For example, let’s say you are having a conversation with a superior about
your job performance and it’s going down on a negative route. Your superior is
gentle about it offering mere constructive criticism however you can’t but feel
attacked and so you close your arms off and display defensive cues. The boss
notices and creates a mental note in their head, that despite their efforts, you
are not comfortable with constructive criticism. Moreover, you have noticed
the same defensive body language in yourself but you didn’t know what to do
about it. Should you place your hands on the edges of your seat, put them in
your pockets, or what exactly. A part of having a poker face or body is to

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assign what to do once you are aware of your negative body language, or what
stance to take in general when seating, standing, and so on.

After winning season 40 of the famous deception-based show, survivor,

Tony Vlachos, shared how he automated his body language to hide his
intentions, thoughts as well as appear weaker than he is. For instance, he
made it a habit to rest his hands and arms on his legs, instead of crossing
them. He walked on the lower side of the beach and positioned himself on a
lower terrain to make himself look shorter than others. Similarly, instead of
crossing your arms make it a habit of placing them on the chair or simply
placing them on your legs. Make it a game to play when you are alone. Watch
the body language of politicians in debates or heated interviews to get a better
understanding of how to mask your emotions using body language. A good
exercise is to mute the video and completely focus on the non-verbals to
discern the message.

Action: Designate automated responses for yourself when seating and

standing.

The three-second rule:

One type of automatic response that will help you keep a poker face, is the
three-second rule. You simply blink, and count to three in your mind, and only
then respond or react to the other person. You can use this with comments,
questions, accusations, and so much more. This is quite effective if it becomes
a part of your baseline. That consistency will stop people from seeing it as a
sign of deceit for once. The three-second rule doesn’t only give you time to
come up with an answer, it also, helps you regulate your stress, and appear
more charismatic and thoughtful. You will feel more self-assured. Suddenly,
you have control over time, instead of the other way around.

Action: Try using the technique starting from your next interaction.

Calm Your eyebrows:

Another pertinent automatic response is to limit the movement of your

eyebrows. Stop moving them too much. Why? Because the eyebrows are the
gatekeepers of the eyes, and the eyes are the gateway to the soul, as the

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famous adage explains. Voice actors often use this technique, in order not to
over-rely on their eyes for expression, and use their voices instead. Learn to
minimize self-expression with the eyebrows to conceal from others how you
feel.

It is fair to note that just like in the game of poker, overprotecting your
cards with your hand is a sign of weakness in amateurs. Understand that
others will notice the things you overprotect to know what and what not to
attack. Make sure to keep a distance between you and the things you are trying
to protect, so people wouldn’t pick up on those vulnerabilities.

Acting Tips

“Acting is not about being someone different. It’s finding the similarity in
what is apparently different, then finding myself in there.” - Meryl Streep

While having a good poker face is more essential, it doesn’t hurt to have
some acting skills to back it up in case the situation demands it. Acting is a
mysterious craft that most people over glorify because of all the celebrity
worship the modern culture is built-on. To be good at acting you have to
understand a few things.

First, Understand the normal reaction you need to display in every

situation. Ask yourself, how would a normal person feel and think in this
instance? If you can display the most compatible emotion with the situation,
suspicion of your mal-intent is minimal. For example: Let’s say that someone
has done something illegal. When accused by the police of the crime at hand,
he remains calm and tries to use ‘please believe me’ statements like “I’m not
someone who does things like this”. That is often seen as a sign of deceit. Think
about it. What is the normal reaction of someone who is being falsely accused
of something they didn’t commit? Anger, hurt, and even disgust at the
question. How dare you question my integrity, my loyalty, my values? That
should be the normal reaction. If your buddy asked you if you are sleeping
around with his girlfriend, and you didn’t do it. How would you feel? Exactly.

Don’t seek to imitate others, Acting is summoning your own emotions,

instead of faking them. How to do this? Well, if you want to portray that you
are sad, go back to a moment in your life when you have felt truly sad or even

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devastated. A moment when nothing was going your way when you were
completely alone. Maybe you lost your dog, a friend. Maybe you lost an
opportunity that you worked so hard for. Stay in that feeling, for a bit. Now,
you can use it. It’s quite useful that you have a specific memory for each of the
key emotions, one for anger, sadness, disgust, happiness, fear, and surprise.
Like a catalog of memories. You can create a word document where you list
specific memories, and what makes them inspire that emotion. Write a
paragraph about each memory. Now you have a system. You don’t have to be
this mechanical if you don’t want to. Follow whatever works for you.

You can also summon a feeling by shaping your body the way a person who
feels that way moves and acts. What behavioral indicators and body language
cues are displayed when someone is sad for example? Their speech is slow and
sluggish. Their body is closed off and doesn’t take much space. Their speech is
not clear, and they can’t get their words out. Try to embody those cues to push
your emotional state in that direction. Scientific studies on body language
emphasize the role of body posture for instance on mood regulation. It’s
referred to as Embodied mood regulation. Another useful tip is to do a little
reading on how specific emotions are embodied to enhance your understanding
of the subject. After all, acting is a lifelong skill.

If you want to stop yourself from expressing a negative emotion like anger,
sadness, and so on, it’s useful to deflect it by generating another emotion. You
can have a silly song playing in your head. Something that always cracks you
up or makes you smile. An example would be the "The Hamsterdance Song".

Action: Create the word file document mentioned in this section.

Discretion Vs Eloquence

“In conversation, discretion is more importance than eloquence.” -Baltasar

Gracián

Grand plans require discretion because the smallest hints of cunning or

calculation could inflame suspicion, paranoia, and sometimes ruin years of
hard work and preparation. Learn to keep your mouth and body calm. It’s far
better to say little than to say too much. When talking about intelligence,
concealment is not getting as much attention as the art of solving problems.

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The wise avoid unnecessary problems, the clever find solutions for them. Not
every problem needs a solution, not every conversational transaction needs
your real input. Can you imagine a war general who notifies their enemies
when and where they will attack? No, you can’t.

Inside of you, there is a little green monster that’s looking constantly for
the validation of others, the validation that you are doing a good job, that you
are like them, and liked by them. That monster constantly wants to spill the
beans and share things to get a little bit of recognition. It is a monster because
it can destroy your life if you let it. If you share the wrong information with
the wrong person or get a little too comfortable with your superiors you can
cause monstrous damage to yourself. Pay attention to the habit of lips-
pressing, as it can signify an attempt at suppressing one’s own opinions.

Insecurity and the willingness to share with others are not always the
sources of useless disclosure. Sometimes, it’s merely the fact we have too much
time on our hands. Idle time is the devil’s playground, people say. Be aware of
your tendency to spend too much time around others. Jordan Peterson has a
great habit of ending the conversation by letting the others know that he is
tired and thus the probability of him saying something stupid becomes higher
and higher. You don’t have to say it. You just need to recognize it in yourself.
One Chinese adage expresses this very idea. “Do not say what you see; do not
know what you are asked; do not meddle with other folk's business; and if you
have nothing to do, quickly return home.” Talk with purpose, and go home
when you have nothing useful to say.

Action: Practice shortening your sentences to five or six words. This will
force you to be concise and discreet.

Do Not Abuse Cunning

“Everything artificial should be concealed, most of all cunning, which is

hated.” —Balthasar Gracian

In Dante’s Inferno, Dante goes through a journey around the nine circles of
hell. The worst of these circles is saved for the sin of treachery. One of the
worst things you can do to another human being is to betray them. It’s at the
heart of every person. That is why people go to great lengths to avoid being

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manipulated and deceived. You might have seen in your own life how it’s quite
difficult to convince someone that they have been tricked into doing
something. However, the same people have no problem doing to others what
they fear most. Hence, the complexity and absurdity of the human condition.

At any rate, no matter how useful persuasion, manipulation, coercion, and

any other thought reform technologies are, they should not be abused. Once
you gain the reputation of cunning, your options are quite limited. Exposing
yourself as someone who uses dark psychology will turn people against you.
You will be held accountable for everything under the sun, the things you did
and the ones you didn’t. Simply the act of being caught in a lie heightens
people’s defenses. Most of the statements you will say will be seen through
those lenses. Cunning inspires ill-well, malice, and revenge. Not every problem
should be solved with deception, in fact, some simply need a tad of direct
communication and a valid reason. Like Honest Abe, accumulating a
reputation for honesty will serve you well in the long run.

Action: Learn to be competent, so you don’t have to completely rely on

cunning.

Hiding Abilities & Seeming Dumber

‘It is a great ability to conceal one’s ability’ - La Rochefoucauld

If you give a display of naivety, and selective inattention, you will be

underestimated, and they will grow more arrogant. Being underestimated is
one of the most powerful tactical advantages that you can have because you
fly under the radar. You will also lower people’s walls of resistance. This might
end up with them sharing with you their secrets and vulnerabilities. No one
dares to seem vulnerable in front of the strong, and superior. Strength is a
judge. As a result, dimming your natural brilliance will make you more liked
and safer. It’s a clever move against the strategy as well because they will be
busy trying to eliminate larger targets first, giving you the time to reinforce
your plans.

The green monster wants you to share your abilities with people, updating
them on your latest skills, achievements, sexual conquests, and plans. Kill the
urge to boast, or to share. Prudence of the other’s ill-will is a sign of wisdom.

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Why do you need to talk about that promotion you just had if it doesn’t serve
you any tactical advantage? Insecurity has always been at the center of our
identity. When you are happy, you are dumb. You are more likely to make
promises you can’t keep and commitments that will limit your options. You are
more likely to share with people your latest projects, giving them the illusion
that you have already mastered them, making them feel like they are falling
behind, and triggering their envy. Why would you do such a thing? Because
you believe that happiness should be shared? Not always.

Give people the illusion of control by appealing to the sense of expertise and
competence. Instead of asking them ‘why questions’ that make them feel
accused and on the spot. Ask them ‘what and How questions’. Instead of asking
‘why did you do that?’ ask ‘how come you did that?’. Instead of asking ‘why are
you this confident about this?” ask ‘What makes you confident about this?”
You will get better answers will less resistance. Don’t be afraid to play the
sidekick to their mastermind, the student to their professor. Don’t be ashamed
to take notes or ask people questions about their expertise or even opinions. An
ex-US. president by the name of Lyndon Johnson used to do this all the time.
People are more likely to disclose information when their views and talents are
acknowledged. Similarly, recognize that people who are loud, acting like they
own the place are rarely in control. Beware of those who appear too humble.
False humility or self-deprecation is a cunning perception management
strategy.

Action: Are you working on a project or mastering a certain skill lately?

Don’t talk about it with others. No one needs to know unless your job is to
document the process.

Evidence

When covering one’s tracks, not leaving evidence is always the best policy.
Make sure that you leave no paper or digital trail of your deeds. You can pay
with cash for instance instead of a credit card. For example: Paying with a
company card for a piece of jewelry will leave you open to preying eyes. That
can be used as leverage against you. With little research, your enemies will
know if that’s something you bought for your wife or a mistress. Now you are
open to blackmail.

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 Deception is best-used face-to-face using oral communication. Forms of
written communication can be tracked and remain on-record. If you lie in an
email, people will know. If you promised someone something in writing, and
you didn’t deliver, your reputation is on the line. That’s why contracts are a
thing. Similarly, make sure that you save your receipts, and keep track of
people’s written communications so you don’t be scammed in the future. One
common problem among men, for example, is their ex-girlfriends accusing
them of something that didn’t happen. A lot of trouble could be avoided if only
they didn’t delete those messages after the breakup. You are allowed to start a
new life with a new phone number but don’t destroy your Sim cards for a while
at least. You never know. The price you pay for a new Sim card is far cheaper
than the one you pay if you get falsely accused of domestic violence.

Phone records are a thing. Modern technology provides people with the
option of recording phone calls using free apps like ‘Call Recorder’. This means
that it’s not safe to discuss certain things on phone. It’s simple advice but you
would be surprised by the amount of naivety out there. If you suspect that you
are going to be blackmailed, it might be a good idea to have one of those on
your phone just in case. Whether these records are admissible in the courts of
your country, state, or territory regulation, is something you can only research
on your own. One of the myths that are floating around is that the police are
legally obliged to share with you that they are cops. That’s complete nonsense.
Don’t commit any illegal or harmful acts and don’t trust the police either. They
are not your friend.

Action: Watch a video titled ‘Don't Talk to the Police’ on Youtube that was
posted by The Regent University School of Law.

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 CULT MAKING SECRETS

“I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.” ― Adolf Hitler

It's never difficult to create a following because of people's inherent need to

believe in something, a cause, a purpose. we spend our lives looking for things
that will fill our emptiness. Dangle in front of us something shiny and
promising and we will abandon reason and follow false prophets. Cult leaders
such as Charles Manson, DO, Ron Hubbard, David Koresh, Osho Rajneesh, Aum
Shinrikyo, and others simply do not let this gullibility go to waste but instead
make themselves an object to be worshiped.

Choosing The Right Targets

Every cult leader had to start from zero to recruit their first followers. But
what kind of followers did they choose? Back in the nineteen sixties and
seventies, Charles Manson decided to use his good looks and musical talents to
attract and groom women into his initial group. His female followers became
his most devoted and loyal followers throughout the years even after he spent
decades in prison. ‘Ti’, the original leader of the haven’s gate cult, chose ‘Do’
who later became the front leader, following the same approach that Manson
used. ‘Do’ at that time left his job as a college professor. Struggling with his
sexuality, and disconnected from his family, he spent a tremendous amount of
hours looking for a hellish solution to the pointlessness of life.

Cult leaders recruit followers who are going through a harsh phase in their
lives. People who are currently feeling lost, and overwhelmed by life, jobs,
others, and their inner critic. Maybe they are transitioning through jobs or lost
their jobs. Maybe they are moving between cities. Maybe, they just abandoned
a long-held belief or mission. Maybe it’s a divorce, a separation, an abortion, a
family abandonment. As a result of the emptiness caused by such events or just
life in general, These dissatisfied children of destiny are constantly looking for
answers but with no avail or result. The cult followers do not necessarily have
to be weak-minded or dumb as the popular media likes to paint them, but
rather open-minded, confused, and desperate. After all, there is a reason why

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Scientology real-state is located next to hospitals. It’s because cults like to prey
on the weak. Hospitals are full of people who are at the most vulnerable times
of their life. Most are afraid of death, in physical and emotional pain, or
trapped in tremendous financial debt. This is what Ron. Hubbard, the founder
of Scientology referred to as ‘Find their ruin’.

Cult leaders seek out people who are vulnerable, compliant, agreeable,
open-minded, and useful. Manson chose females because he knew that they
were useful in attracting males, and powerful members that could make him
more influential and get him what he wants. He used women’s sex appeal to
lure men, powerful men like the beach boys’ drummer Dennis Wilson in 1968.
Another cult leader by the name of David Berg called this ‘Flirty fishing’ and
referred to the women in his cult as ‘Fisherwomen’. He even distributed
documents with exact instructions on how to seduce men into the cult. Don’t
forget the following fact. Anyone can be manipulated.

Action: When confused and overwhelmed seek responsibility. Responsibility

is the bridge that leads to meaning.

Cult Love-bombing

"Idealization is the first step in the psychopath’s grooming process. Also

known as love-bombing” — Jackson MacKenzie

While The love-bombing technique was first known about cults and how
they convert potential members like the moonies. it is especially common in
abusive narcissistic relationships as well as with exploitative ones initiated by
pimps and gangs.

In the love-bombing phase, the cult leader or veteran members would

smother the new recruits with praise of their talents, interests, and qualities.
They will shower them with gifts they have always wanted, the vision and
promises of a great future together. they will make you feel like the most
special person to the degree that you get addicted to that and you feel safe.
Because of this, you grow comfortable, and a certain feeling of fulfillment and
purpose overflows through you. the phase usually lasts for a couple of weeks

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or even months. Keep in mind, the love bombing is extremely effective when
the person has experienced a sense of loss.

You will feel love and attention that you have never felt or experienced
before neither from your original family, friends, colleagues, and even
partners. The love-bombing phase in cults is designed to make you feel special,
and a part of the group. It creates a sense of destiny, that you are meant to be
together on this long journey and mission that is centered around love, service,
and companionship. In individual narcissistic relationships, the target must be
worthy for the chase to be valid and the narcissistic supply to be fulfilling.
That worthiness can be related to wealth, fame, power, beauty, talent, or
genius. Love-bombing is a means to boost their ego while practicing control
over another person. it's their way of getting narcissistic supply, getting over a
loss, or moving from their last unsatisfying conquest.

It is crucial to understand the difference between love bombing and

genuine forms of admiration and interest. love bombing is intentional, focused,
repetitive, and planned. Be careful of people’s premature promises, and reassert
your boundaries. Ask yourself: Can you express your boundaries or are you
worried the other person might get upset or leave?

Action: Have you ever been love-bombed before? Answer the question and
try to understand what made you susceptible to it.

Creating A Belief System

“A transcendent belief system is a system of thought that explains past,

present, and future. It is transcendent in the sense that it looks to,
indeed predicts, a radical change—either progressive or reactionary—in
the social order.“ — Janja A. Lalich

The most famous cults out there revolve around a belief system to be
worshiped, a story to be told, a cause to be served, a goal to be fulfilled. The
belief system needs to be simple in message, yet vague enough that requires
interpretation. The message could be as simple as “love is the answer” “God is
truth” “We are one”. Such capacity of interpretation is one of the cornerstones

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of the leader’s power because only he or she can discern the “right” meaning
and manifest the “right” decisions. Moreover, the followers will be susceptible
to confirmation bias and view mere coincidences as an insight or mystical sign
of divine intervention.

In creating their belief system, cult leaders will start with the positive
aspects that involved universal principles that everyone loves and respects like
love, duty, mercy, understanding, open-mindedness. After all, you can capture
more flies with honey. Crafty cult leaders will combine ideas, principles,
rituals, from different religions, spiritual, and cultural movements, and
repackaged them as his or their own. They could take some ideas from
Buddhism, Taoism, and combine them with New age philosophies to create a
“new” philosophy. When a member or an individual outside the cult, might
start comparing the leader’s ideas, and how they resemble such and such belief
systems. The leader will reject such statements and create enough ‘false
differences’ to give their system the aura of uniqueness or revival. Manson for
instance convinced his followers that he is Christ playing his name ‘Man Son’
as in Son of Man and used LCD to put them in a relaxed and susceptible frame
of mind before doing this. Their imaginations will run wild and they will fill
the blanks. Not every cult leader utilizes drugs, however.

Action: Find out which belief systems you fell for and why? What belief
systems do you find intriguing? Take 10 minutes to figure this out.

Confessions And Mystical Experiences

"Everything unknown appears magnificent"— Tacitus

In exposing members to the new belief system, the cult leader or veteran
members will push the new recruits towards having a false ‘aha’ moment, the
illusion of a new insight, a mystical experience if you will. In Scientology,
there is a process called auditing that involves an auditor who takes the
individual “audited” through past memories, and lives, to rid them of negative
feelings and influences. After any confession, most humans experience a sense
of relief, like a heavy weight or psychological burden has been lifted. This
experience is designed to give the individual the illusion of a mystical
experience, that they have achieved a certain status, and they are ready now

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to take on new challenges and rise to new ranks. These confessions serve
multiple goals. The first is to associate the euphoric feelings with the belief
system or leader. The second is to collect as much Intel about the person’s
wants, desires, sins, and vulnerabilities to use them against him or her if they
stopped complying with the authority. The third is to create a bond between
the confessor and “priest/auditor/authority”. Cults might even create events or
interpret world events as signs of progress that they are on the right path to
achieve their higher purpose or that the individual member is serving the cult
well.

Action: Visit a church or religious building that’s far away from where you
live and confess to a harmless habit or sin. Note down the sense of euphoria
you have experienced and rate how susceptible you felt to the experience.

Keeping Them Entertained

Boredom is the enemy. Cults will often go to great lengths to keep their
members entertained through high arousal activities like dancing, sex orgies,
drugs, sports, communal chanting, and competition. Such activities and rites
create an image of religiosity, stimulate the senses, and create strong bonds.
The more intense, the more hooked the individual becomes, and the tougher it
is for non-cult activities to make them feel the same way. Rituals are extremely
effective in creating mystical experiences and hijacking people’s reward
systems

Rituals And Missions: Keeping Them Busy And

Working

“Don't confuse the teacher with the lesson, the ritual with the ecstasy,
the transmitter of the symbol with the symbol itself.” ― Neil Gaiman,
Stardust

When people are tired, they are more compliant, easier to control, less likely
to argue or even think for themselves. Cult members are instructed to fulfill an

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array of tasks, and missions such as recruiting new members, creating better
curriculum and documents, chasing the opposition, spying on each other,
keeping away the skeptics, and so much more. However, most of these
activities are there to keep them occupied and create the illusion of progress.
Cults will often use sleep deprivation to destabilize the mind and stop the
followers from processing their experiences reasonably and normally.

Action: Spend 30 minutes reading about a cult of your choosing.

Creating A Hierarchy Of Ranks

Cults and cult leaders create a hierarchy of ranks that the followers seek to
achieve. This existence of higher levels insinuates the idea of progress, keeps
the members motivated, and the leader’s pockets filled. Each level constitutes
its missions, sacrifices, rewards, access, and authority over other members. The
interpretative and vague nature of the belief system opens the door to the idea
that there are many levels of consciousness and knowledge to be attained, and
this is exactly what the hierarchy sells. The members who attain specific ranks
are often referred to with different names and titles boosting their feelings of
importance and uniqueness. It’s social proof in its best form.

Cult Language

“Control language and you control thought; control thought and you
control action; control action and you control the world.” — Peter Kreeft

As mentioned before, in-group markers reveal that its users belong to the
same group. Cults create their own markers, and language to create unity and
a sense of belonging. New words are used to explain different phenomena,
rituals, procedures, and ranks. For instance, in Scientology, enemies of the
church are called suppressives. Old words are stolen and reused to refer to
different things like the words ‘Gospel’. The lingo is kept hidden from the
outside world to strengthen the group identity. This exclusivity makes the cults
exciting and interesting to potential recruits because they feel like they are a
part of a secret group that their stupid brother, friend, neighbor is not allowed

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in. Understand: If you control the language, you control how people think.

Action: If your mission is to convince an exact psychological and physical

replica of yourself to do something, what conversational style, arguments,
would you use; or vulnerabilities would you target? Take 10 minutes to jot
down the answers on a piece of paper or notebook.

Isolating The People

To ensure that the members are compliant, cults subtly take away their
sources of power. They simply isolate them from their loved ones, friends, and
colleagues. For instance, if a daughter and mother are introduced to the group
together, the cult might state that it’s a policy to separate family members to
minimize psychological embarrassment and create a receptive environment.
The isolated new recruit has no option but to adapt and emulate the
overflowing number of established cult followers surrounding him or her from
all sides. The famous cult “NXIVM”, which was led by Keith Raniere, used the
same tactic to divide Catherine Oxenberg and her daughter India. This small
separation pushed them in different directions, different classes, different
groups, with separate missions, and so on. Slowly, it changed the mother-
daughter dynamic, leaving the mother outside trying to free her daughter from
the brainwashing she suffered. The devilish cult leader Jon Jones, created his
environment, called Jonestown after he accumulated enough power,
specifically to serve this purpose. All cults push towards isolation from loved
ones under the pretense of creating one’s identity. They will convince you that
it’s a crucial step towards becoming your own man, woman, warrior, priest,
king, god, whatever. It’s a sly excuse to kill your connection with what’s
outside your ‘new family.

Action: Isolation is dangerous. Beware the divide and conquer techniques

mentioned in the previous chapter, and watch out for those who try to isolate
you from your family.

Us Vs Them Dynamic

After preaching unity, spiking your emotions, giving you a rank, a

language, a purpose, a map. You need an enemy, an opposition to fully define

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who you are. Most define themselves by what they are not, and creating an ‘us’
vs ‘them dynamic achieves this purpose exactly. To some religions, it is
‘Lucifer’. To Scientologists, it is the supressives. To Hitler, it was ‘The jews’.
Jones was known for studying Adolf Hitler and other spiritual leaders, to learn
how to manipulate his followers, and the key thing he learned is the
importance of an enemy. The enemy could be a mystical creature, a concept
like greed or evil, journalists, policemen, nations, immigrants, or anyone
outside the group. It doesn’t matter as long as it serves the interests of the
leader.

Action: Take 10 minutes to figure out who are your possible enemies, rivals,
critics, and even opposing concepts that you stand against.

Becoming The Charismatic Leader

"A leader is a dealer in hope."- Napoleon Bonaparte

Charisma is often seen as this mystical, magical, divine quality that attracts
people to a certain individual, and makes him an object of desire, devotion, or
respect. The first humans who were known by their charisma are prophets
with their amazing power, usually given to them by a divine source. Max
Weber, explains charismatic authority as a personality trait that sets the
individual from ordinary men and women. But he goes way beyond the divine
attribution into giving the locus of power to the audience rather than the
person. This means that the person becomes the embodiment of what the
audience believes or wants to believe. Adolf Hitler for example was a master at
picking up emotional and physical cues that he used to shape the message to
the audience’s desire. Historical documents showcased that young Hitler wasn’t
at all charismatic but it’s something he learned to become and portray.

So what makes someone charismatic? The first trait that makes cult leaders
or anyone charismatic is their sense of mission. They have a goal to
accomplish, a cause to fight for, and the grander the goal, the more powerful
that charisma appears to be. This vision gives the people a sense of direction
and inspires them to join and help the charismatic achieve his or her goals.
When Friedrich Nietzsche announced the death of God, when science became
all too powerful, human beings needed more substitutes to give them a
solidified sense of mission and purpose. This gave a rise to cults, celebrity

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worship, presidential worship, self-help gurus, and other charlatans that use
fear and people’s need to believe. The second quality is their conviction. The
Charismatic has supreme confidence in themselves, that what they believe is
right, that they can achieve what they want to achieve. It is this belief that
makes their mission more powerful. Not only do they have a goal, but they
have the power to achieve it. Or that’s at least what they are selling to the
world or themselves. There are more elements to charisma like the creation of
images of heroism, as well as defiance of convention and norms and a
movement towards creativity.

Action: Define your mission, by listing 15 goals you want to achieve in your
life. Simply brain dump for 10 minutes without worrying about the quality.
After you finish, try to eliminate those 15 missions into 7. Take a walk outside
and try to eliminate the options to the final three. Just make sure to take the
list with you. Now write down what you think are your most important values
in a sort of a hierarchy. Ask yourself, which one of these 3 options is the most
aligned with my values. This exercise takes time and introspection.

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 CONCLUSION

This book paints the beginning of your journey to becoming a new you.
Consider it a kind of spiritual and intellectual metamorphosis. Read this book
multiple times, and most importantly do the exercises to reap the benefits and
change the way you approach your life. My fellow courtier! You are so much
more than what you reveal to the world. Do not let the world make you forget
that. Give that fox inside of you a name. And Remember the motto of the fox.

“Never attempt to win by force what can be won by deception.” ― Niccolò

Machiavelli

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 REVIEW MY BOOK!

If you have enjoyed this book, and you understood the importance of
favors, I’ll ask you for one favor. Review this book. If you don’t, it will merely
fizzle away, and you will lose the chance to read any future books of mine. The
book you have read was merely an experiment if I can write something with
little to no research in a short amount of time. If I decide to write future books,
I will go more in-depth. And I won’t be able to add value to your life and others
if this book gets lost in the abyss of the Internet.

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 CONSUME MORE CONTENT

I have a YouTube Channel called Power Matrix - Don’t be prey that explains
concepts of the art of deception and power dynamics through character and
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Watch over 70+ YouTube Videos Here: https://bit.ly/3K8jJIg

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 CONTACT ME HERE

You can contact me here.

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Channel Email: powermatrix2019@gmail.com
Author Email: johannoire@gmail.com

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