I WAKE UP WITH A HANGOVER, I GO TO BED SMASHED

LIKE AN ALCOHOLIC HAMSTER ON ONE OF THOSE LITTLE WHEELY THINGS

EVERY EVENING THE SAME, EVERY MORNING THE PAIN

I START DRINKING AT TEN AND BY NOON I’M NOT FEELING THINGS

NOBODY CARES WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

OH SHIT, I’VE JUST GONE THROWN UP IN MY MOUTH

SWALLOW IT MAN, JUST SWALLOW IT

YOUR OPINIONS OR YOUR VOMIT, EITHER WAY THEY DON’T WANT IT

(QUICK)

WHAT’S YOUR POINT?

WHAT IS YOUR POINT-LESS HAVING POINTS ANYWAY, COS…

(1-2-3) NO-O BODY CARES WHAT I SAY

NOBODY CARES WHAT I DO

NO ONE ELSE IS BOTHERED, BORN IN THIS TOWN, AND I’M GONNA DIE
HERE TOO.

I WAKE WITH A HEADACHE I TAKE A PISS I OFTEN MISS I OFTEN GET A

LITTLE BIT ON THE FLOOR.

I EAT A PIECE OF TOAST THAT I FOUND TOASTED IN THE TOASTER THEN I

GOES TO GET MY JACKET BY THE RACK BY THE BACK DOOR.

HE GETS INTO HIS TRUCK AND DRIVES A BLOCK TO RALPHY’S SHOP

IT’S ALWAYS SHUT HE PICKS ME UP AND DRIVES US UP TO RUNNING ROCK
AND SHOOT SOME CANS AND CRACK SOME CANS AND SHOOT THE
BREEZE ABOUT THE WEATHER OR A SPORTS TEAM OR A CAR.
AND AFTER THAT A BAR

(1-2-3-4-5) NO-O BODY CARES WHAT I SAY

NOBODY CARES WHAT I DO
NO ONE ELSE IS BOTHERED, BORN IN THIS TOWN, AND I’M GONNA DIE
HERE TOO.
GUS: 6 more weeks of winter.

RALPH: Yup (Beat) That’s a long time. (Drink)

GUS: Now, did you actually see the groundhog see his shadow?

RALPH: Well, his eyes were open.

GUS: Yeah, but you know how you can look at something but your
mind is somewhere else?

RALPH: So you think he was daydreaming?

GUS: Or you know, kind of planning out his schedule.

(DRINK)
Did you know that in Punxatony they only got one word
for snow?

RALPH: (Beat) What is it? (Drink)

GUS: Hey take it easy buddy.

RALPH: Whatever happened, it can’t be that bad.