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Isabelle
Part A
Content
l Good language and tone à Have questions + interactions Eg: ‘Sit well
passengers!...’
l The description is good and detailed
l BUT THE CONCLUSION IS TOO SHORT à LONGER to promote and
encourage more people to come visit!
Language
l Provide you of à provide you with
l …! or else… àOr else (capital letter
l …but also a campsite à what is the verb? à but also you can stay in the
campsite

Technique
l Sentence structure x6 OK amount but not using them in a balanced
wayà use too many in the first para but very few in the main body and
conclusion para
l Vocab bank GOODJ

Level 5*
Content is good and good tone. Also grammar is good but be aware to the allocation
of sentence structures in paragraphs!!
Part B
Content
l To start the letter with ‘ I am sorry to hear….’
l 2nd para: the quote of your father à you should state the quote again à
emphasize !!
l Good to have enough examples
l Great to include idioms and quotes in conclusion à more persuasive

Language
l You’ve doubt what I said? à 1st : have doubted 2nd : Use ing à Are you
doubting what I said?
l In the long term à for a long duration
l Had à have / are facing
l Have the interest à X the
l Do not have interest in à are not interested in
l Those tedious work à the tedious work
l …, its humdrum .. à connectives? à so / therefore/ thus…
l Gave up à gerund à giving up
l Do-not-give-up spirit à never-give-up spirit

Technique
l Sentence structure x12 VERY GOOD BUT USE THEM IN A MORE
BALANCED WAYS à use too much in the first few para but only a few at
the back
l Vocab bank good But some repeats EG: key: way / approach / path/
panacea

Level 5+/5*