One of the Many Faces of Death

by Zarael Shaitan, HP
The Draconian Order of Black Magi

“What really happens to us when we die?” That question is the driver behind so many di erent
beliefs and behaviours around the world. So many of us fear death because of a deeper fear of
the unknown. If we could nd a de nitive answer would the truth change whether or not we are
afraid or even how we live? What if the answer is far di erent than anything we’ve heard of
before?

In spring of 2002, I myself had to face such questions after I had a Near Death Experience
unlike anything I had heard of before. Not really accustomed to much alcohol I had too much to
drink- so much I had forgotten about how much I already had to drink. I was heartbroken, you
see. So, I wasn’t really thinking straight. It’s not something I recommend. I went to bed and
realized I felt very di erent. I knew I was dying, but I was in so much emotional pain that I didn’t
care. I drank so much that it killed me.

One might assume a number of things depending upon beliefs. At the time I had been
something of a “Light Worker” with a mixture of beliefs from Christianity, Wicca, New Age and
Taoism as I had spent at least half of my life studying, and when possible, experiencing many
di erent religions and philosophies on a level as deep as possible. My overall energy was
otherwise pretty positive in 2002. I assumed that when I died I would go to a pleasant place.

I was drawn to Satanism, but had no idea where to go to get information and training, which is
one of the reasons I started The Draconian Order of Black Magi in 2021. Finding resources
should be easier!

One might assume that I didn’t die and that I was merely drunk and having a weird dream, but
alcohol prevents R.E.M. sleep, the sleep cycle of dreaming. I drank two bottles of wine by
myself. So, what happened to me? What conclusions did I come to at the time, and do I still
feel the same way?

The Underworld

There was a long earthen corridor with a downward slope. The path was clear. There were
torches on the walls to light the way as well as what looked like ancient writing and drawings
on the earthen walls. Soon, I found myself to be in a cavern with high walls. It was fairly dark
but not pitch black. There were other people there . It wasn’t crowded, but it wasn’t sparsely
populated either.

Then, the calm and relative normalcy ended. People say after NDEs that Time is experienced
di erently. I concur. I also discovered that what we are accustomed to concerning the laws of
Physics in general don’t apply. Repeatedly, at least three times that I can remember, I was
popped back and forth between two places and two states of being.

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 During the rst place and state of being I seemed to be oating over a small re, much like a
small camp re that moved with me, but I was actually partly made of re. I didn’t feel angry. It
was like I was anger itself. I could feel long sharp canine fangs in my mouth like those of a
serpent. People were gathered around watching. It was very odd. I was so disoriented, that I
was terribly confused as to what I even was!

During the second place and state of being I seemed human, feeling quite neutral, like I would
on a normal day because I wasn’t manifesting. I found myself in a white and bright room with
metal drawers in the walls. The place was quite pristine. There were people there as well but
dressed in medical garb or something similar. I can only assume it was a morgue or some kind
of computer clean-room. Perhaps there were units for body stasis. There was no way of
knowing.

After having been back and forth between places and states of being several times, I suddenly
found myself in a pitch black room. Male and female voices spoke together in unison,

“WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

Candles lit around me in a circle, as if hanging in mid-air. I could see nothing else but the lights
as they were neither lighting up anything nor anyone. Then, I could see one of my bookshelves
where I kept science books. They were all that were seen - or at least all that I can remember,
although I sense that the entities were in robes and that the walls were of black obsidian.

Also, I know there was a conversation and that I argued with the entities at the end of it that I
didn’t want to come back here because of the heartache. I still can’t remember exactly what
was said. I do remember trying to ght the process as I was zooming through TimeSpace and
through the crown area of my head and woke up.

After that experience I was quite angry and quite confused. Where did I go? What was I while I
was there? Why did I go there? Why didn’t I go to a pleasant place and why did I have to come
back here? Who were those people who sent me back here?

It’s been nearly two decades since I had that NDE. The conclusions I’ve arrived at may surprise
you… but maybe not. We’re all so di erent. That is one of my conclusions. Not only are we all
di erent, but there are more places in the universe that we can end up in than we can possibly
imagine. We’re not all completely human in soul and spirit either and we are all here for
di erent reasons.

(Art by Tyra Bowen. Used with permission.)

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