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Over-Coupling and the Stress Respons

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Why
HELP Do I Feel This Way? Over-Coupling and the Stress
Response
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April 11, 2018 • By Andrea L. Bell, LCSW, SEP, GoodTherapy.org Topic Expert
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ONA

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“I don’t know why, but

SIGN UPevery time
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dates—even if they are really cool.”

“This time of year just makes me miserable. I


don’t know what it is, but it makes me drink
more just to be able to stand it.”
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“I’m so discouraged by these panic attacks. I
HELP never know when they’re going to hit. They’re
ruining my life.”
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“I’m 30 years old, and I haven’t ever seriously dated anyone because of my social anxiety. It just
gets in the way, all the time.”
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These are a few of the typical complaints I hear when I meet with someone for the first time.
These
FOR problems all sound pretty different, don’t they? Chances are, however, that they share an
underlying process. We can credit Dr. Peter Levine, founder of Somatic Experiencing, for
clarifying
PROF this process for us. His life’s work synthesizes vast amounts of research, therapy
practices, and worldwide cultural traditions with his own original contributions.
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Dr. Levine calls this underlying process “over-coupling.” Over-coupling takes place when
trauma energy sticks two things together that shouldn’t be. Our brain perceives some stimulus,
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one that could be innocuous to others, and then has this lightning quick reaction based on its
learned history: “If there’s this, there’s also going to be that—and that is really bad, so let’s rev
LS
up the fight or flight energy!”

HOW
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Over-coupling involves the parts of the brain known as the limbic system, or our
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emotional/threat response, and the reptilian brain, which is in charge of body regulation. When
these systems perceive a potential threat, they go into a stress response. Trauma can occur
when that threat feels overwhelming or bigger than our ability to effectively cope with it, and
the energy from that stress response gets stuck in our systems, under the surface. The
unconscious layers of the brain and body want to avoid any situation like that ever happening
again. So when something feels similar to the big, bad thing that happened in the past, our
reptile brains lock into the same threat response as the previous time. This happens whether or
not the logical mind is aware of any similarity between the previous and current situations.

That is over-coupling. Like a creaky old suit of armor, it’s meant to protect us, but what it really
does is get in our way, preventing us from freely living our lives.

OVER-COUPLING EXAMPLES
When our limbic, or
emotional/threat Let’s explore the above examples with this new awareness of

response, and reptile, over-coupling.

or body regulation In the first example, a new love interest equals a threat. This
brains perceive
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an old love
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to our body and
go into a stress attachment system to shut down This dynamic is usually at the
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 go into a stress
2/7/23, 18:11 GoodTherapy | Why Do I Feel This Way? Over-Coupling and the Stress Respons
attachment system to shut down. This dynamic is usually at the
response … The core of avoidant attachment. SIGN UP AND GET LISTED LOGIN

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unconscious layers of
the brain and body
®
Different seasons of the year come with certain environmental
cues that remind us of an original difficult period or event in our
want to avoid any lives. The angle of the sunlight, the feeling in the air, the
situation like that ever 
temperature, and the way the plants look and smell might all act
happening again. as subconscious cues. These cues may or may not stir up anxiety
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or panic; many people simply feel malaise and dread around
over-coupled times of the year. Grief anniversaries are one example. Alcohol is one
HELP
strategy frequently used to turn off these feelings, even if it only works for a brief time.
However, as a central nervous system depressant, it can often worsen problems with
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mood.
Panic attacks become less of a mystery once these subconscious coupling dynamics are
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understood. Panic attacks are essentially the body’s emergency alarms going off at the
wrong time: “This is not a drill! We’re going to die, right now!” They consist of a lot of
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flight, or sympathetic nervous system, energy coursing through the system all at once.
The body is mobilizing to get out immediately because it thinks it’s going to die. Many
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people try to repress panic attacks, but this can be like holding a lid on a pot insistent on

ESSI
boiling over. Somatic therapy has developed many alternate ways to work with panic that
essentially turn off the figurative stove, allowing the water to cool and settle.

ONA Social anxiety occurs when the threat response system is convinced, from previous felt
experience, that a social environment is going to cause emotional or social harm. This

LS can happen whether or not the current social environment is similar to the one that
caused damage. Social anxiety comes with varying levels of conscious acceptance of the
ABO message the limbic and reptile brains are sending. When there’s more conscious
acceptance of the belief, “I’m no good/not desirable,” it often carries a developmental
UT aspect. Here, the person’s compromised self-esteem may reinforce the over-coupling
message. Regardless, the subconscious mind is convinced the social environment is not
safe, and it often refuses to deactivate until the person gets away to be alone or with a
few trusted others.

Since these conditions usually involve the body’s unconscious trauma energies, which can be
tricky and powerful, treatment is best left to someone with specific training in this area.
Personally, I will always be grateful for my own continued training in somatic psychotherapy
and for Peter’s contributions in the area of coupling dynamics.

In a future article, we will examine under-coupling, which occurs when something feels so
overwhelming that the body numbs it out. Under-coupling is even more tricky, as it usually
takes place beneath the level of the person’s conscious awareness and shares a special
relationship with over-coupling. In the meantime, I invite you to start having compassion for
any over-coupling you might notice going on in your own system. As frustrating as it might be,
it is trying to protect you!

References:
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1. Levine, our In
P. (2010).
to analyze an unspoken
traffic. voice: to
By continuing How
usethe
thisbody releases
site you trauma
consent and
to our restores
cookies.
goodness Berkeley CA: North Atlantic Books
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2/7/23, 18:11 GoodTherapy | Why Do I Feel This Way? Over-Coupling and the Stress Respons
goodness. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.
2. Practitioner training manual. (2007). Somatic ExperiencingSIGN UP AND
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The Charge Dissociation

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Trauma and
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the Body:
When
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Anniversaries
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Happy

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2 comments Leave®
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Kimball P. 

May 6th, 2018 at 5:54 AM

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Very useful article! Thank you

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Ron
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April 10th, 2022 at 11:24 PM
This
FORa very helpful aricle.

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