Dharma Teaching on “Compassionate Love” by Ven Mahinda

28 May 2007, 8pm Karma Kagyud Buddhist Centre, Singapore

I would like to start with a few minutes of meditation. And which I wish to
5dedicate this meditation forto Shangpa Rinpoche’s speedy recovery. Just Try
to bring your minds within. You may choose to close or half close your eyes
and then bring your attention within. Without fixing your mind on any object,
without creating thoughts, and notor projecting the mind, just dwell in this
natural quiet state of mind for a few moments. With a clear sense of
10awareness, you are totally aware of whatever that is happening around you.
Your mind is not disturbed. In this state of pure awareness, there is the natural
compassion in your hearts, which is soft and gentle. Be soft and gentle in your
heart.

15In this state of calm and quietness, you go on to cultivate metta, loving-
kindness in your hearts. As you feel calm and quietness within, just tell
yourselves to be well and happy. And and feel the sense of wellness. As if you
are broadcasting this message, you are instructing all the cells, all the tissues
and organs of the body to be well, happy and healthy. Be free from anger,
20enmity, hatred, and grudges, sufferings, fears, worries and anxieties and just
dwell in calm and peace. Just as you wish to be well and happy, calm and
peaceful, so you will spread out loving-kindness to all around you so they can
feel the same.

25Fill this whole shrine with your aura of calm and peace. Just feel the calm,
and quietness within, radiating above, below, and all around you. Make the
good wish in your heart that all who are present, known or unknown to you
may all be well and happy. Going beyond the confines of this shrine, of this
room, in the whole building, and all the surrounding areas, ; covering the
30whole premises, thatmay all beings, known or unknown to us, seen or
unseen, all that dwells in the air, in the open space, on land, in the trees and
waters, may they be well and happy. May they be free from harm and
dangers. May they dwell in peace and harmony. Going beyond these
premises, keep on radiating loving-kindness, to all surrounding areas, to all
35the neighborhood, reaching out to the whole city, the whole island, and
beyond this city, beyond this island, to the neighboring islands, covering the
whole world, may all the realms of existence known or unknown to us, seen or
unseen, may they all be well and happy, be free from harm, free fromand
dangers, may they dwell in peace and harmony. May all suffering beings be
40free from suffering. and may Those those in sorrow be free from sorrow.
Those May those in fear and dangers be free from fear and dangers. May
they dwell in peace and harmony. And may all beings be well and happy. And
we

45We dedicate the merits of from this occasion for to the speedy recovery of
Shangpa Rinpoche, and for to all the well-beingwell being of all, whoever that
comes to your mind. You can slowly return your attention within, and slowly
feel your body, and open your eyes and be wide awakewide-awake, maintain
the calmness, maintain and the quietness within.
50

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 As the spirit of Vesak is still building up, I thought it will would be useful to talk
something about compassion and love. How did the Buddha become a
supremely enlightened being? One day Prince Siddhartha went out of the
palace gates, and then he saw the sights of an old man, a sick man, and a
5dead person, a corpse. And then after thatAfterwards, he saw the sight of a
holy man, who is an ascetic or a hermit. These are what we call the four
sights.

Have you seen an old man or an old woman? Have you seen a sick person?
10Have you seen a corpse? Those of you who have seen old people, sick
people, can you remember what sort of thoughts came up toarose in your
mind? It Such sometimes frightenssights sometimes frighten people. Why
does the fear arise? The fear arises out of ignorance. A lot of people are afraid
to grow old, to die and to get sick. That fear is actually borne out of ignorance.
15Ignorance of what? Ignorance of the true nature of life. That’s how the fear
arises. Other people are indifferent when they see such sights. What they feel
is Just just indifference. People grow old, fall sick, and die, so what? We all
were born, and so we all must die. Isn’t it so? And tThey can’t be bothered to
think anymorereflect further because you know there are so many other things
20filling up their minds. They have got to work, and pay up their mortgages, buy
lots of things to buy, and solve their relationship problems not solved. There
are So so many other things to think about, let alone old age, sickness, death.
Many people think are like that. Don’t you think so? But there is one big
difference.
25
When Siddhartha Gautama saw and contemplated on these three sights, of
an old man, a sick man, and a dead person, he thought like this –reflected
that he will also grow old, he will fall sick, and die. Then suddenly he thought
of his loved ones, his wife Yasodhara his wife, his father Suddhodana the
30father,, and the his mother Prajapati, and all his kinsmen, and all his
countrymen, . he He thought knew that they all will would also grow old, fall
sick and die. Then these thoughts came up to in his mind. , “How can I help
them? Is there a way out?” Then something prompted himhe suddenly had
the thought that there must be a way outto end all the suffering. “I must find a
35way out.” And jJust as he was determinedmade the determination to find a
way out, just as he was going back and was returning to the palace, he saw
the fourth sight of a holy man, who was an ascetic or a hermit, in meditative
posture. This was Someone someone who has had given up the household,
and the worldly, the pursuits, to lead a spiritual life. Then the thought came up
40to himHe then thought, “this This could be the way.”. Why not don’t you make
up your mind tonight that there must be a way to end the suffering and then
on your way back home, you might see something that will lead you to change
your life.

45You see, did you think like this? When you see old people, sick people, dead
person, do these thoughts come up to your mind? That my your mother, and
my your loved ones will also grow old, fall sick and die? How can I you help
them? Is there a way I you can help them? Do you have such thoughts? If you
have them, it is very good, because you know, all our thoughts are
50conditioned. Conditioned by what? Conditioned by our experiences, what we

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 have done in the past, our views, our beliefs, and the values that we hold. And
all these things will condition our minds, our thoughts. So for someone to have
generate these kinds of thoughts “How can I help?” of helping everyone, that
person must be conditioned by compassion. Great compassion. This is
5Because because he is not only thinking of one or two people. He is but
thinking of everyone, of all beings. And so tThat compassion,, that linked to
the thought of helping others must had have been sown in him for a very long
time.

10In another one of the Jataka story, in onetales, which are tales of Buddha’s
past lives, of the Buddha’s past lives he Buddha was born as a merchant. A
and he had to move his cargoes, his goods from one place to another to sell
them. And hHe has had to travel by waterways, by the rivers and the seas.
And iIt so happened that on one occasion his mother was with him and he
15had a lot of cargoes. When he was in the high seas, a storm broke out and
the boat capsized. Have you heard this story? This story is not very popular
but it exists. The boat capsized. Then what did he do? First thing he thought
of was his mother, and not the goods. He grabbed hold of his mother and put
her on his back and then he swam. Then a certain deity, a certain or deva
20who had been related to him in the past had seensaw this heroic act and out
of compassion this particular deva actually guided the Bodhisattva to the
shore. That’s how he saved his mother’s life. Upon reaching the shore, the his
mother said, “Son, you have saved my life. I wish you will be able to save the
lives of others, I wish you will become Buddha one day.” Since his mother had
25made that wish and he was so joyful that he managed to save his mother and
that they are were both alive, he obviously accepted that wish. Although he
did not know what Buddha is aboutwas, he accepted that wish. And that is
was how the seed of Buddhahood was sown in his heart. And so itThis seed
went stayed with him from life to life and he started to cultivate it. At first he
30was not confident to talk about it, to say that he wants wanted to gain
enlightenment. It was only in his thought. And it remained there for many
lifetimes. Then after that, at some stage, he started to verbalize his wish and
say said, “I want to become a Buddha.” But still he doesn’t did not really
understand what being a Buddha is about and it was only in his speech. Like
35you for us sometimes, speech comes before action. This is a similar thing. It
happens. So don’t get upset when you hear people talk a lot but there is no
action. Don’t get upset. From time to time, if you wake them up a bit, then you
can expedite the action and they will start to manifest their action more
quickly. It takes time for the speech to eventually manifest into action.
40
You know from From life to life in Buddha’s past lives, when he was very
wealthy, he and grew up in merchant family, and he would give up his
business just as he was in the peak of success, he would give up his
business. Will you? No. Once you have success already, you want more.
45Here wWhenever he isBuddha was successful, he gives gave up all his
wealth and gives to all the holy people. They Everyone were was all very
surprised and asked him, “Why do you work so hard and then you give away
all your wealth?” Then he said, “I wish to become Buddha one day.”. Now his
speech, actions and thoughts are were in unison but this is still incomplete as
50it is subject to change. That’s why when people tell you that they want to do

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 this and that, you can listen but you must have the wisdom to know that it is
subject to change. Don’t be taken for a ride. Don’t be so gullible as to accept
everything. You have to understand that the mind changes. So that’s how you
have got to learn. When you read or hear this kind of story, you must think and
5learn. They can make you a little bit cleverer, and wiser in your actions.

In one particular lifetime, because he was practicing in thoughts, speech and

bodily actions, he was born atin a the time of the Dipankara Buddha. But by
that time he was already quite old. His name was Sumedha. He and was
10already quite an old man. But the moment when he heard Dipankara Buddha
was coming, . he He was so elated. He and wanted to offer flowers to the
Buddha but he didn’t have enough money. Finally he went to one small store
with nice flowers. A young girl was selling flowers in that store. He gave the
girl all his money but the girl counted the money and said it was not enough to
15buy her the flowers. But after on a second thought, she said, “I will give you all
these flowers if you promise to marry me.”. During those times, it was very
difficult to get a partner. And also if women then were not married, it was
difficult to be independent and make a living in order to survive, unlike
nowadays. Sakyamuni Buddha later said that was how he met Yasodhara –
20how Sakyamuni Buddhahe met Yasodhara in one of her past lives as
Sumedha. And Sumedha promised to marry her then offered Dipankara
Buddha the flowers. When he threw the flowers, the flowers did not fall but
circled and made a halo around the Dipankara Buddha. This meant that his
wish would come true. And then aAs Dipankara Buddha was walking along
25the road, he noticed that there was one muddy patch. He actually prostrated,
laid across the muddy ground and asked the Buddha to walk on him as a
bridge so that the Buddha’s feet would not be soiled. Instead of walking on
him, Dipankara Buddha walked around him three times and then pronounced,
“Sumedha, you will become a Buddha one day.” From that time onwards, he
30became a true Bodhisattva. This is the story. So we conclude this story here.

So when somebody says he is a Bodhisattva, ask him if he has met any

Buddhas and if the Buddha has confirmed that he will eventually gain
enlightenment him or not? . If he has not had such an opportunity, the his
35mind can change. Once a Buddha has confirmed that one will eventually gain
enlightenment, it this fact cannot be changed anymore. But how do you know
whether you have met a Buddha or not? Chances are some of you could have
met a Buddha because there are have been so many Buddhas in the past.
You know iIn Burma, there is a cave of five hundred arhats and a lot of relics
40are found there. But tThe story goes that a long, long time ago, in the time of
the Kassapa Kasyapa Buddha, previous who came to the world prior to the
Gautama Buddha, this cave was actually inhabited by five hundred bats. And
dDuring the time of Kassapa Buddhathat time, these bats flew to a plantation
where Kassapa Kasyapa Buddha was preaching. They and heard the
45dhamma. And tThat changed their lives. But still they went back and stayed in
the cave. Subsequently one by one they died and they took birth in different
realms. By the time Gautama Buddha was around, they were all born as
human beings. They all took refuge in the Buddha and finally all five hundred
of them converged to in that same cave when where they were bats before in

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 one of their previous lives. There they practiced and became arhats. That’s
the story on the cave of the five hundred arhats.

Now what I want to tell you is the power of compassion. Compassionate love
5is something that drives and motivates one to cultivatebecome enlightened.
You see out of compassion, the Bodhisattva, before he becamebecoming a
Buddha, from life to life sacrificed a lot of things from life to life. You know iIn
his last life, in his last perfection of the dana Dana paramitaParamita, he was
a prince, Visanthara Jataka. He was a prince who had a beautiful white
10elephant, which symbolizes good luck. He was able to sacrifice that white
elephant. He had two beautiful children, whom he also sacrificedgave up as
slaves them to a poor man. He Even even gave up his wife as a slave to the
poor man. When he wanted to sacrifice his children he turned to his wife and
asked his wife for permission. Actually this poor man was Devadatta who in
15his previous life who asked the Bodhisattva for his two children. He turned to
his wife and he asked his wife. Do you know what his wife said? The His wife
said, “I had been with you, I am with you, I wish to help you to fulfill your
perfections. So if it will help you to fulfill the your perfection, go ahead.” Will
those of you who are married you support your husband those of you who are
20married? Do you support your husband when he wants to do some merits? If
your husband wants to give, do you give all sorts of excuses asking him not to
giveto prevent him from giving? How to can he become enlightened? From
today onwards, you change your way of thinking and allow your husband to
do merits and vice versa. Give until you have no more money. But I will tell
25you there is a special magic. Those people who have gone for pilgrimages
with us they all know it. By the time they come to the end of the pilgrimage,
their pockets are all empty. But when they go back home their pockets will
become full some more. Am I Right right or notwrong? First it your pocket
must be empty then onlybefore it will become full.
30
Compassion is something that will motivate us. Because when we want to
practice dhamma, when we want to develop certain qualities, we need
something that will inspire and motivate us. Motivation is very powerful and
necessary. So here we can see how through compassion, the Buddha
35perfected his virtues from life to life perfected his virtues. He perfected his
virtues so that he is was able to have the skills, and the knowledge to help, to
and enlighten all sentient beings. And tThrough wisdom, he was able to purify
his mind and put an end to the tendencies of greed, hatred and delusion. That
is how the Buddha became enlightened. Buddha perfected all these virtues
40from life to life all these virtues. You have to think about these virtues. Usually
in the Theravada temples they would teach about how many virtues, how
many perfections? In the Mahayana temple tradition says six perfections are
taught, in the Theravada temple saysradition, ten perfections are taught. If
you elaborate the six perfections they become ten. Similarly if you condense
45the ten perfections they become six. Don’t worry. Dana, sila, nekkhamma,
panna, viriya, khanti, sacca, adhitthana, metta, uppekha – they are the Dasa
Parami. You must know thisthese.

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 1. Dana – generosity. You must havecultivate a generous heart. That is why
you see inDuring Vesak season, many people give and give. They give Free
free food etc. They know that they should practice generosity.

52. Sila – morality, precepts. Restrain your speech and body actions. That is
sila.

3. Nekkhamma – renunciation. Renunciation is to give up the worldly,

comfortable, luxurious life to lead a more simple way of life. Of course
10eventually renunciation is giving up every worldly thing to become a monk and
or a nun. But you don’t have to become a monk and or a nun first. Firstly learn
how to live simple life. Like sitting on the floor like this for longer periods of
time everyday. And then r, educe reducing your food intake. A and also
reduce sleeping habiting the time you spend sleeping. And tThen reduce your
15responsibilities. Slowly, slowly, that’s how you renounce and be able to let go
and give up. Nekkhamma

4. Then pPanna – wisdom. Perfection perfection of wisdom.

205. Viriya - energy, diligence, vigour, and effort.

6. Khanti – patience, tolerance, and endurance. Khanti.

7. Sacca – truth. Upholding truth. Truthfulness. Sacca.

25
8. Adhitthana is - resolution, and determination.

9. Metta – loving-kindness.

3010. Uppekha – equanimity, and having a balanced mind.

These are the ten paramitas, or perfections. When you go back, do a check
list and then you mark and assess yourself. How many percent would you
grade yourself to be very generousin terms of generosity? Would you give
35yourself Medium medium grades or not at allfail yourself in this aspect? Then
This is how you improve yourself. Don’t be afraid to give. Give with a good
mind. When you give, you will receive. That is the power of giving.

I will tell you I know many people who are afraid to give. Do you know why
40they are frightened to give? That is Because because they have not finished
paying up their mortgages. And then tThere are also other monetary
issuesareas that require money such as their children’s education etc.. Lots of
bill on top of donation. How? But you they forget to think in another way. Why
do I they have all these mortgages? I They have got to pay all these things
45when some people don’t have to pay any mortgages. I have no mortgage. You
may laugh, but I have a few houses to stay. Big houses but they are not mine.
There is No no need for them to be mine. I can go and stay anywhere and for
I get shelter. You cannot. You got to pay for your shelter. I don’t pay, just like
tonight I don’t pay. So you see, giving is good. You must know the art of
50giving.

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 I build stupas, . I am going to build another one. One of my teachers Chief
Reverend taught me something. I asked him how he is able to stay quietly in
Bricksfield and yet is able to raise buildings one by one. I asked him where did
5all these money come came from? He said if you have a good thought, or a
good wish, don’t worry about money. It will come. So I tried and it worked. So
far it worked. Some people asked me how I am going to raise funds for this
stupa that I am about to build. I said I don’t know but I don’t wish to raise
funds via appeal letter and brochures and all these things. No. Then they said
10how am I going to ask people for money? I said like how I did raised funds in
Australia. I shared with them my experience in building the stupa in Australia.
You know how I did it? One Vesak day, we did a puja in Australia. After the
ceremony, blessing and chanting, there and then I told them that we were
going to build stupa in Australia. The stupa would have eight corners, eight
15lights, pillars, etc. Then they asked me how much does one pillar costs. I said
ten thousand dollars. Within the same day, all eight pillars were taken up by
donors alreadysponsored. I don’t have to approach a quantity surveyor to ask
how much each pillar is, I put my own price. And tThen after that, some
people come and saysaid, “AnymoreAre there more to sponsor, what about
20us?” Then we got to think of ‘pavers’. So that’s how we raised funds. And you
know, that night itself, we raised two hundred thousand dollars. See,If you
want to raise funds? Like this do it this way.

So practice generosity and it will come back to you. I tell you I see these
25things again and again. Usually some monks say they don’t handle money.
But you know, our tradition is like this. Sometimes people give money but I we
do not know how much because whatever the right hand receives, the left
hand gives out. So pPractice like that. Especially on Vesak day, during Vesak
season, you must learn to give dana and practice sila, i.e. learn how to
30restrain yourself. From today onwards, there should be no more scolding,
lying or cheating. All of you who sell things you, tell the truth. If the thing is not
worth the money you tell your customer, “actually Actually I am selling you
these things but I don’t think it is worth the money.”. And iIf you really think
that it the item cannot last, tell them it will not last very long. For all you know,
35they will ask you if you have a better quality one or not. They will trust you
more. And from that time onwards, they will return to you and won’t go to
other salesmen because you are more honest. So you change and tell the
truth. This is how you have got to practice. Somewhere you got to test and
experiment. If the first experiment doesn’t work, don’t give up. Repeat again,
40at least three times. But your mind must be pure. Do not be scared. If the
mind is scared, you will lose money. If your mind is good, it money will come.

Sila, nekkhamma, panna, viriya, khanti, - so like this tonight I am not going to
explain to you all these ten perfections. It is good to know these ten qualities
45and perfect them. If you cannot perfect them, then you may not become a fully
enlightened one but a slightly lower one like a Pacceka Pratyeka Buddha. If
you that cannot attain that, then be a Sravaka Buddha. Sravaka Buddhas –
Arhants. You must be able to give up at least all the material things.

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 Now some people say if we practice compassion, if we are very loving and
compassionate, other people will take advantage of us. Isn’t it? My answer to
this is, “Okay, they take advantage of us, so what should you do and then
what have you got to think about?” It will lead you to take some steps to
5become a little bit wiser. Wiser means that your mind must be firm. A and not
only that, you must know who you can help, when to help, whom you cannot
help. You must know your own limit also. That’s how you start to grow your
wisdom. Compassion actually conditions the wisdom mind to arise. Those of
you who have given some time to do volunteer work, you help in the old folks
10home, you go to hospitals and see visit the sick and so on, if you have done
these things, you what will you start to see what? What do you see? You will
see the different manifestations of suffering. I have done that. When I first
came to Singapore Buddhist Mission which was then located at Thomson
Court, on the very first day, at twelve midnight, somebody called me up and
15said “My father is ill and in Tan Tock Seng Hospital, can you come or not?” I
said, can, “sureSure.” I do did not know where Tan Tock Seng Hospital was. I
called a taxi and the taxi driver said it was not so far. I returned at one o’clock
in the morning. That was my first assignment. Then I started to see the
problems that people have. And when I see saw a lot more suffering, I do did
20not know how to help. People came, or called me, I talked, and they listened
but it didn’t work. So sometimes I felt very helpless and hopeless. And nNot
only have that, after doing all the good things I got blamed. Blame comecame.
Some people write wrote letters. So I showed them to my teacher. He said put
them there. Where? In the Waste waste paper basket. So I put them there.
25After that there were no more problems. That is something you have to learn
also. After that, I realized, that doing good alone is not enough. So I went to
the forest. That’s why I worked in Singapore for three and a half years only.
Three and a half years. After that I went to the forest and then to Australia. I
meditated, no more busy life for me. Here in Singapore, life was very busy life.
30
Anyway, I started to see the different manifestations of suffering and that’s
where I saw the need to cultivate myself, to purify the mind, and to develop
myself. And you know, aAfter going for retreats from in one place to or
another place, we experienced some very peaceful moments. Then we come
35came back and tell told a few people about the peaceful experiences and they
wanted to join us. Then we took them out. So what I am saying is this, it’s
actually your compassion, your action, and your pure and good heart to help
others that is important. You will actually see suffering. Sometimes it will hurt
you also. But don’t be afraid. But at the same time you must reflect and then
40you must work out the way, how to face, how to cope and how to let go. And
listen to others also. Especially when you become very popular. When you are
very successful and you become very popular and proud, you walk with your
head and nose held high. People shoot arrows at you and surely you will be
hurt. That’s why my teacher told me once you become popular, then you must
45be humble. You Have you see the way the Dalai Lama walkedwalks? It will be
Very very difficult to shoot arrows at him. But some people walked very
boastfullyproudly. You know it is easy for an arrow to shoot at a large surface
area. We should lower ourselves and get used to bowing down. , Bbecause
you know if you we get used to bowing down (the arrows can’t hit youus). This
50is something I learnt from the Tibetan monks - humility and great compassion.

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 During our first visit to Tibet together with Sister Sumitra and her mother there,
the lamas took her mother by the hand and showed her all those places. And
somewhere the lama said in broken English, “My mother, mother come,
5mother, mother”. So I also started to call her ‘mother’ as well. You know when
you practice some dhamma and gained some calm and peace of mind, you
begin to see the joy in your heart. Surely you want to help somebody and
share with them that there is a better way of doing things, isn’t it? Who do you
want to tell? Who do you normally think about? Do you think of somebody? Or
10do you feel it is better not to tell anyone? The dhamma is not like that. The
dhamma is ‘ehi Ehi passiko’Passiko’. ‘Ehi passiko Passiko’ – many say it
means ‘come and see’. It is translated as ‘come and see’. But don’t forget this
is the quality of dhamma. A quality of the dhamma means when you realize
the dhamma that quality will manifest. And that quality is you just want to
15reach out to others to tell. Personally when I was practicing and when I was
very calm and peaceful the first person I think of is my mother. And then and
after that my sister. I will break my sitting because I want to tell my mother,
write her my mother a letter or call her up to tell her. Then after that I will sit
again but I cannot get the calmness and peacefulness any more. That is how I
20eventually learnt to let go of even the good things. But in the process we must
learn to help. Why? This is how you can develop your compassion.

How do you develop compassion? You think like this. You are living quite
comfortably and you have more than enough things that you need. You have
25all the basic necessities and you live in a relatively peaceful, harmonious and
prosperous society. But looked around you, don’t you want to help somebody?
Look around and you will see there are is a lot of suffering that other people
are going through in the world. Normally when we think of something good,
we always think of our loved ones like our parents, our mother and father.
30Actually we are grateful to our parents. How many parents have you got?
One? Two? Some people may have three or four but most people have only
two in this lifetime. But if you understand the dhamma, this is not your only
lifetime, you have lived many lifetimes in the past, and therefore you have
other parents in the past? . How many? Many. Where are they now? You don’t
35know. If you do not know their whereabouts then how do you help them?
Actually your compassion is not strong enough. If your compassion is strong
enough, that compassion will drive you and to go and find out. Then you ask
again how to find out? Go and develop your skills. What skills? There is higher
knowledge for you to develop. You look around you and think to yourself, “that
40That one could be my mother from the past.” How many mothers have you
got? You know, normally we address people by saying “brothers Brothers and
sisters in the dhamma.”. Why? Because in this cycle of birth and death, in this
samsaric cycle, it is very difficult to find somebody who has not been a
mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a husband, and or a wife towards one
45another. Actually the Buddha taught that when you see somebody who is
older than you, whether a male or a female, if it’s that person is a female, you
think in terms of her as your mother and if that person is a male, think of him
as your father. And iIf you are of the same age, you think of the person in
terms ofas a brothers and or a sisters. That’s That is how we build up good
50relations. Your present situation with the opportunity to enjoy, and to listen to

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 the dhamma is the result of the foundation which had been set up long ago by
your many parents from your past lives. Not by only one mother and father but
by so many other mothers and fathers. However, some of them don’t have the
skills to bring up children. You know how difficult it is to bring up children?
5Parents argue with each other over their children, over which school to send
them to, what sort of clothings their children should wear, what sort of food to
give them etc. And sometimes after arguing and fighting, they go in different
directions. And then they die and are reborn. When they meet again
somewhere, they start to recognize each other and feel very close. They
10marry again and then start fighting again. It goes on endless,in an endless
cycle. If only you know the number of times you have married in this cycle of
births and deaths. That is why some of you develop the wisdom and says say,
“Enough, there is no need to continue these things.”

15So this is the cycle. When you think you have so many parents out there,
certainly you will want to help them. And that’s where it will drive you to learn
and develop your knowledge and skills further so that you can and will begin
to recognize your past parents. They may not be in the human realm, they
may be in non-human realms such as devas, brahmahsbrahmas, hungry
20ghosts, sometimes as and animals. They may come to you. Sometimes
invisible ones, unseen ones, they come. So iIf you do not know, the best is to
be kind to all beings. They could be your own parents. If you can think in that
way, you will want to cultivate further and the compassion will drive you. And
tThat is how you develop higher and greater skills and knowledge.
25
Now the next thing I want to talk tell to you is why we say ‘compassionate
love’ and not only love? Because different people see different meanings
about in love, isn’t it? Truly there are different kinds of love. As human beings
we have different aspects. We have the human aspect but we have the animal
30aspect as well. That is why some behave like animals. , Isn’t isn’t it?
Sometimes we are worse than animals. But we also have another aspect,
which we call the divine aspect. What we try to promote is the human aspect.
And when the human tries to develop further, he becomes more divine. The
Buddha prescribed metta, karuna, mudita, uppekha. , The the Brahma Vihara.
35
Metta – loving-kindnesss.
Karuna – compassion.
Mudita - the sympathetic, the altruistic joy; and
Uppekha – equanimity.
40
So when you develop metta, karuna, mudita, uppekha more and more, you
will have more joy and happiness in your lives. That is how when you are in
the field of service, when you serve others, it is important to cultivate these
qualities, and these virtues are very important to cultivate. So there are
45different kinds of love. Some are very selfish love. Some people love just like
animals. Before I became a monk, I had a teacher who took me around and
showed me how the animals such as dogs on the street made love. He
wanted to drive into me the idea of what is such athat there is no big deal
about making children. Anyone can do it. Any animal can do it. Flies do it.
50Much They are much better at it and they produce more children. And some

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 animals such as fishes and birds look after their children much better than the
human beings do.

As human beings we learn that there is another kind of love – that is metta.
5Metta is the sublime love. It is an emotion but you sublimate the emotion. That
is why when you practice metta, you start with yourself and feel the love.
Some people tend to ask this question, “Loving yourself, isn’t that very
selfish?” Loving yourself is not merely saying, “I love you, I love you”. No.
Love here means ‘care’. You care for yourself. If you don’t care, that is how
10you get sick. People kill, steal, rob, and commit adultery, . Why do they do all
these things why? That is Because because they actually don’t love
themselves. If you really love yourself you will look after yourself. You will not
hurt yourself. These precepts that you undertake is actually to perfect
yourself. That is what you should understand by as loving yourself. You see
15there are components in love. There is a component of caring, and there is a
component of trust and respect also. You find that babies are generally very
loving and trusting. It is only when they start have having a very bad
experience thaten they begin to lose the trust. That is why in the first few
years of the children’s lives, it is very important for their parents to be close to
20them so that they have that kind of trust and they grow up with self
confidence. Otherwise they don’t trust people. And when you talk about love
at the worldly level, for love to be successful you have to have the respect.
Respect means you respect people for what they are. Not for what you wish
them to be. You say, “I love you but ‘you should be like this, you should cut
25your hair a bit short, don’t keep long hair.’ “ and tThen you give say a whole
series of things such as, ‘”I want you to be like this or like that then so that I
can love you, if not I cannot love you’.” Accept them for what they are. This is
what respecting is about.

30Now from this quality you go on to develop the pure love, and pure
compassion. How do they arise? In the CD on Metta, Loving-kindness, we
taught you step by step. This is the way how it was taught in the
Visuddhimagga. Visuddhimagga says you start with yourself, somebody
whom you love and then after that somebody whom you do not know and
35then somebody who is unfriendly to you. That’s how you break the barriers. In
terms of spatially, you start with your own room, then to your whole house,
then your whole town, to your whole village, then the whole suburb then
yourto your whole country, then until you reach the whole world and beyond.
That is how it is done. For those of you who have learnt these things, now you
40go one more step further. Sometimes you say there are so many steps to
think about in the Metta meditation. Actually that thinking is good for you to
learn how to learn systematically one after the other. But after you have done
that, after the program is all well set, you do not need to think so much. Just
sit and pure love will arise. If it cannot arise, you go back to and learn step by
45step. First you must write down a clear program clearly. Then after that and
afterwards you sit quietly. Real love, and real compassion comes out from
emptiness. when When your heart is really empty, when your mind is truly
empty. That is why right from the start, we tell you to just free your mind from
anythingeverything, don’t fix your mind. In this state of pure awareness there
50is the natural compassion in your heart.

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 How does the Noble Eightfold Path define wisdom? Do you know the Noble
Eightfold Path?
1. Right Understanding,
5 2. Right Thought,
3. Right Speech,
4. Right Body Action,
5. Right Livelihood,
6. Right Effort,
10 7. Right Mindfulness and
8. Right Concentration.

These Eight Path Factors purifyies your mind, your speech, and your actions.
They purify them from the tendencies of greed, hatred and delusion. And this
15is the path, this is the way to put an end to suffering. Whatever suffering that
you have, the Noble Eightfold Path has the ability to reduce it and eventually
to overcome all suffering. That is the way, the path. But we like to highlight to
you the Wisdom aspect – i.e. Right Understanding and Right Thought.

20What is Right Understanding? The understanding about the nature of life, the
law of karma, rebirth, the understanding of and the Four Noble Truths;, that is
what Right Understanding is about. Then what is are Right Thoughts? Rights
Thoughts are those thoughts which are free from excessive craving and
covetousness, clinging on wanting to everything. Right Thoughts are firstly the
25thoughts of renunciation, , nekkhammanekkhamma-sankappa, , which means
giving up, and simplifying. This is nekkhamma-sankappa. Secondly is
Avihimsa-sankappa - thoughts free from cruelty, wickedness and cunning
thoughts, but thoughts of compassion. Then Thirdly is Adosa-sankappa, that
is free from anger, hatred and grudges, but flowing with loving-kindness. So
30you can see in the Noble Eightfold Path, when we talk about wisdom, we are
talking about Right Understanding and Right Thoughts. If you don’t have the
Right Understanding portion, you must have at least have Right Thoughts.

When you practice loving-kindness and compassion, there is the component

35of wisdom in your mind. And with wisdom, again there are different levels.
Eventually the wiser you are, the more wisdom you have, you see yourself as
more and more empty. Because yYour form, this body, is ever-changing.
There is nothing you canto cling on to in this form. Your feelings changes,
your perception changes, your mind, your ideas, your views, and
40consciousness changes. They are changing and are not satisfactory to you.
And there is nothing that you can cling onto as yours.

Then that is where you know the very essence of the Heart Sutra. When you
pray before Kuan Shi Yin Pu Sa, if you understand what you recite and if you
45really practice that, truly all your sufferings will go away. You recite the Heart
Sutra 心经, “觀自在菩薩, 行深般若波羅蜜多時, 照見五蘊皆空, 度一切苦厄”
(Avalokiteshvara when meditating on the Prajnaparamita, saw all the five
aggregates as empty and instructed on the means to liberate from all
sufferings). Many people go to Waterloo Street to pray to Kuan Yin, telling her
50all your their problems and seeking help from her. Actually Kuan Yin just look

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 there and smiles at you and say patience, patience, patience. Slowly you will
be directed. Don’t give up. You will be directed and if you have faith in 心经
(English: Heart Sutra), it will finally lead you to realize. One day you will
realize that 照 見 五 蘊 皆 空 , the five aggregates are empty. Five aggregates.
5Form – empty. If you don’t believe this form is empty, you go to those temples
with crematorium. You jJust watch when people put in the body, what comes
out? Ash! You Did you think it will come out in a nice form? There is No no
form! Ash, just ashes! Form? Nothing. And iIf a gush of wind blows, everything
is gone! Empty. Feeling – actually our feeling is also empty. Some people
10cannot understand this word empty. Empty does not mean ‘Kosong’ (Malay:
Nothing). No. E, empty means it is void. When you say void, it is means void
of something else. Understand? Void alone is not enough. Void of something.
Void of what? Void of grasping, void of greed, void of hatred, void of and
delusion. That means empty of greed, empty of hatred, empty of and delusion.
15You cannot cling onto. When yYou cannot cling onto your feeling, it is empty.
You also cannot cling onto Your your thoughts, you cannot cling onto. Do you
know the nature of your thoughts? Sometimes you have a lot of thoughts in
your mind and you cannot sleep. Ask yourself where do those thoughts come
from? . Do they Come come from Changi? Come from, Jurong or somewhere
20else? Actually the thoughts come from nowhere. Where does it they go to?
They Doesn’t don’t go anywhere also. So why do you take it them seriously?
It is because of Stupiditystupidity. That is the only reason that you can give.
Because of ignorance, because of stupidity, I we take so much trouble to
worry about those things. When thoughts come, there is no need to stop
25them, let them come. When people come to visit you, and if you don’t look at
them, and you don’t offer them drinks, they will go. The problem is that when
somebody comes, you quickly let them in and chit-chat with them etc. and so
they don’t leave. Then tThey will always come back to visit you. So
sometimes you must know this game. When the thoughts come, don’t
30entertain them. They will go. And then you start to realize what emptiness is.

When most people say, “I love you”, there are strings attached. For instance,
they may think, “now Now at least I at least have somebody to look after my
mother, my family…” Or they may think, “at At least when I grow old
35somebody can look after me.”. So tThese sorts of thoughts come to mind.
That is conditional love. It is very difficult to give love without strings attached.
Unconditional love is without strings attached. That is the dhamma, if you do
things the dhamma way, when you practice more loving-kindness, you will get
it. Earlier when we radiated loving-kindness to all, we actually don’t want
40anything. We don’t expect anything from them. That kind of love is the
sublimate sublime love. It is very important for you to develop sublimate thise
love as you grow older. That is why we especially encourage those people
who have been married for thirty, forty years or more to sit down together and
practice metta, loving-kindness. Otherwise they will argue, fight and don’t talk
45to each other anymore.

Love and hate are two sides of the coin. If you cannot get the selfish love then
you hate. You have to transcend that. How to transcend that? Sublimate Make
that love sublime by developing loving-kindness, and compassionate love.
50And tThat is where you break the barriers and eventually when you develop

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 your wisdom, you start to see the emptiness. Then there will be no more
cruelty, no more bad wishes, and you cannot wish others harm anymore. And
that is where the mind, aAs you refine your wisdom, as you make your
wisdom and make it more and more subtle, the quality of your love will
5become purer and purer.

Now I will tell you how we can sit down now and make your love very pure.
Just bring your minds within. Don’t fix your mind on any object. Don’t create
any thoughts in your mind. Just have clear awareness. In this state of pure
10awareness, there is the natural compassion in us, soft and gentle. Be soft and
gentle in your heart. When your hearts become soft and gentle, you will be
more forgiving, and you will learn to accept whatever phenomenaon that
arises without pushing, without and reacting. It is when you have the
acceptance that you will be able to let go. Now look at your mind. Be clearly
15aware of your state of mind. Sharpen this mind. When your mind is sharper
and clearer, your senses become clearer, your hearing becomes sharper, and
your feelings becomes more sensitive. As you cultivate, wWhen your mind
becomes sharper, little by little you will see the true nature of this mind. When
you see the true nature of this mind, you will be able to distinguish the true
20intrinsic nature of this mind from all the other external conditions that arises.
That is how the pure love will arise in your hearts. Make this the aspiration on
this occasion that you will continue to walk the dhamma’s path, that you will
improve in your habits, in your thoughts, in your speech and body actions,
and that you will commit yourselves to the Triple Gem of the Buddha,
25Dhamma, Sangha. So that you hHave this great refuge in your hearts to, walk
the dhamma’s path and, sow the seeds of liberation, and the seeds of
enlightenment. and Wish that you will also have the wisdom, and the
compassion to help others, whoever that comes by your way. With this good
state of mind, you will share the merits of this occasion with all the devas, all
30the guardian deities, and all those who have been guiding and protecting you.
Even though you may not acknowledge them, you will now begin to
acknowledge by thinking in this way, : that whatever beings, whoever that has
been guiding and protecting you, you acknowledge and share the merits of
this occasion with them, that they may rejoice in these merits and in so
35rejoicing, may they continue to guide, to protect, to and look after your well-
being. We also share the merits with the guardian deities of this monastery
and in of this locality, may they all rejoice in these merits and continue to give
blessings, guidance and protection to all. In the same manner, we will
dedicate the merits to of this occasion for to the spiritual well-being and
40happiness of our departed relatives, teachers, and friends, and whoever that
comes to your mind. Have good wishes for them all. That wherever they are
born, may they have opportunity to receive dhamma, be guided and to grow in
the dhamma that will pave the way for them to be released from the cycle of
births and deaths one day. With all your good wishes, and all the merits that
45you have acquired, once again make this wish that all these merits will pave
the way for you to have the opportunity and to be able to develop and purify
your minds. Purify your minds from the tendencies of greed and various forms
of clingings and attachments, ; from the tendencies of anger, of hatred, and
grudges and the tendencies of delusions, ; cultivating the qualities of
50generosity, loving-kindness and wisdom so that you will have the purity of

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 mind that will give you the strength to confront and overcome whatever
difficulties, whatever and obstacles that may arise in your lives. Wish That that
you will grow in wisdom and compassion and be able to make good use of
your lives, not only for your own happiness, but also for the welfare, for the
5and happiness of the many. May all the merits pave the way for you to
progress in your lives, and to succeed in what you do, in your studies, in your
work, ; that you will be able to fulfill your worldly duties and responsibilities
and at the earliest opportunity, . may May you walk the dhamma’s path and be
free from all sufferings. Make your wishes and aspirations accordingly.
10Whatever immediate difficulties of obstacles that you are confronted with,
have faith and confidence in the Triple Gem;, think of the Buddha, Dhamma,
Sangha, all the great masters and teachers, as you make your wishes and
aspirations. By the power of the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, and all the merits
that you have acquired, may your wish, may youryours and aspirations come
15true and may you all have long, healthy, happy lives and grow in the dhamma.
Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.

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