Existential Freedom…with a price tag.

I questioned why?
The answers I disqualified.
They all left me mystified.
Layer after layer
peeled back, revealing grey areas.
The final pane
laid out bare and plain:
darkness consuming
the shiny outward façade.
I stepped back in horror.
Each scar tormenting,
screaming in terror.
What is this I see?
Me, a distant memory…
A faded relic, lost in antiquity.
On a roller coaster with aging faculties;
Restless but weary,
chasing worthless vagaries.
Trapped in a human menagerie
echoing with senseless drudgery.
A cry for an end. The bow must not bend,
The arrow, drawn back, but never to send.
A heart that cannot mend -
my sadness lingers on,
the fight in me is gone
All I want to do is mourn.
To shift into endless darkness,
not a fleeting mist.
To sink into an abyss:
an alternate reality
where I can roam freely -
existential freedom with a price tag
only the purest can reach.
With every stretch,
it drifts closer to infinity
along with my hopes and tranquility.
But for me, there is a strange victory
Defeated yet not dethroned,
Alone on the periphery.