insulting insults

witty put-downs and criticism of people who deserve it

Let others know what you REALLY think of them!
A demitasse would fit his head like a sombrero.
A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too!
A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.
After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many
people are to blame for producing you.
All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and
square the account?
Alone: In bad company.
And there he was: reigning supreme at number two.
Any friend of yours ... is a friend of yours.
Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
Are you brain-dead?
Are your parents siblings?
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
As useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker. ~ Earl Pitts ~
As welcome as a rattlesnake at a square dance. ~ Robert Reinhold ~
At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a
different and worse way!
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the
credit?
Better at sex than anyone, now all he needs is a partner.
Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing!
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation?
Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!
Converse with any plankton lately?
Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?
Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
Did your parents have any children that lived?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
Do you want do die stupid?
Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?
Doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the
meaning of most words.
Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.
Don't mind him. He has a soft heart and a head to match.
Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.
Don't think, it may sprain your brain!
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling ---- in your skull?
Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without
your working so hard to give us another?
Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Fat? You're not fat, you're just ... fat.
For two cents I'd give you a piece of my mind - and all of yours.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Go fart peas at the moon !!
Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
Has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.
Has the IQ of lint.
Have you considered suing your brains for nonsupport?
He can open his mail with that nose!
He can think without moving his lips!
He comes from a long line of real estate people -- they're a vacant lot.
He does the work of three men: Moe, Larry, and Curly.
He doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. --From "Steel
Magnolias"
He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
He has a mind like a steel trap -- always closed!
He has depth, but only on the surface. Down deep inside, he is shallow.
He has more faces than Mount Rushmore.
He has one brain cell, and it is fighting for dominance.
He is always lost in thought -- it's unfamiliar territory.
He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
He is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
He is so conceited his eyes behold each other perfectly.
He is so short his hair smell like feet
He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.
He is so old that his blood type was discontinued. ~ Bill Dana ~
He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
He named the street he owned after his wife. What a grand statement of his love for
her; for she was cold, hard, cracked, and only gets plowed around the holidays.
He smells the coffee, but can't find the pot / a cup.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could
bring you along.
He'd steal the straw from his mother's kennel.
Hello - tall, dark and obnoxious!
Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
He's got that far away look. The farther he gets, the better he looks.
He's just visiting this planet.
He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
He's so dense that light bends around him.
He's so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch marks.
He's so short he can sit on a piece of toilet paper and dangle his feet.
He's the first in his family born without a tail.
He's the only man who, if told to screw himself, could do it.
He's the reason brothers and sisters shouldn't marry.
Hey, act your age -- senile!
Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and
he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.
Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
His brain waves fall a little short of the beach.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
His origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under his family tree.
His personality's split so many ways he goes alone for group therapy.
His suitcase doesn't have a handle.
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
How many years did it take you to learn how to breathe?
I always wanted to be a troubleshooter but now I see you are not worth it!
I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE
dead.
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I bet your mother has a loud bark!
I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
I can tie a coffee bean to my butt and swim across the Columbia River and make a
darker stain than that (about weak coffee.)
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't help me!
I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in ten years?
I certainly hope you are sterile.
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I don't know who you are, but whatever it is, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.
I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of
others?
I don't want you to turn the other cheek. It's just as ugly.
I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other
people because they have to look at you.
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
I hear you are an officer. Your rank is - just plain rank!
I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club cause they need someone to
snub.
I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.
I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back to the gorilla.
I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
I heard that your brother was an only child.
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!
I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I reprimanded my son for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I understand you, but thousands wouldn't!
I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower
opinion of you.
I want nothing out of you but breathing, and very little of that!
I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
I wonder how many angels could dance on his head?
I worship the ground that awaits you.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get
offended.
I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.
I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brain was on fire!
I'd hate to see you go, but I'd love to watch you leave!
I'd like to give you a going-away present ... but you have to do your part.
I'd like to have the spitting concession his grave.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'd like to leave you with one thought ... but I'm not sure you have a place to put
it!
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that
far up my ass. (Thanks, llaje)
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'd rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you.
I'd slap you senseless ... but I can't spare three seconds!
If brains were rain, you`d be a desert.
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that
had never been used.
If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.
If I want any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head.
If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If manure were music, you'd be a brass band.
If sex were fast food, you'd have an arch over your head.
If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.
If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be
genocide!
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.
If you act like an ass, don't get insulted if people ride you.
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.
If you had another brain like the one you've got, you'd still be a half-wit.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
If you were a body of water, you'd be a kiddie pool.
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
I'm blonde, what's your excuse?
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
In the land of the witless, the half-wit is king.
Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?
Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?
It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.
It is such a shame to ruin such beautiful blonde hair by dying your roots black.
You're so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.
You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly too.It's hard to get
the big picture when you have such a small screen.
I've come across decomposed bodies that are less offensive than you are.
I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for
you is the real thing.
I've hated your looks from the start they gave me.
I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it.
I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you," he's practically
invulnerable.
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.
Let's play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.
Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
Moonlight becomes you - total darkness even more!
Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
Nice to see you on your feet. Who sent the derrick?
No one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy, if you wear a wig to hide to the
scars and learn to control the slobbering.
Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you
learned how to wave good-bye.
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them.
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
People clap when they see you - their hands over their eyes or ears.
People say that you are outspoken but not by anyone that I know of.
People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you
are doing all right.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.
She could eat a watermelon through a picket fence!
She had a mouth dirtier than a wicker toilet seat.
She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.
She thinks the rearview mirror is for putting on make-up.
She was another one of his near Mrs.
She's a lot like train tracks - she's been laid across the country.
She's got a body that won't quit and a brain that won't start.
She's got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book.
She's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
She's so ugly they used to put a pot roast in her lap so the dog would play with
her.
She's so ugly, she'd make a freight train take a dirt road!
Sit down and give your mind a rest.
Slit your wrists - it will lower your blood pressure.
So stupid, he moves his lips when watching TV.
So ugly, robbers give him their masks to wear.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Some folks are so dumb, they have to be watered twice a week.
Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
Some people don't hesitate to speak their minds because they have nothing to lose.
Somebody else is doing the driving for that boy!
Someday you'll go far, if you catch the right train.
Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for you and said, 'oh
yes she is.'
Someone took a photo of you once but it didn't turn out. You could be seen too
clearly.
Take a vacation; go to Club Dead.
Take off that mask! Don't you think it's a little early for Halloween?
Talk is cheap, but so are you.
That's a very meaty question and I'd like to give it a very meaty answer -baloney!
The closest she/he'll ever get to a brainstorm is a slight drizzle.
The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.
The going got weird and he turned pro.
The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
The only thing he brought to this job was his car.
The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone
was willing to father you.
The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I
loathe you.
The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.
The wheel is still spinning but the hamster died.
There are only two things I dislike about her - her face.
There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of
them.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for
people who are dead from the neck up.
They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.
They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking,
intelligent, and cultured.
They say space is a dangerous place . . . especially if it's between your ears!
They say that travel broadens one. You must have been around the world.
They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been
better than none.
They say truth is stranger than fiction. Look, your mother gave birth to you.
They shot him through the stupid forest, and he didn't miss a tree.
Thinking isn't your strong suit, is it? --from "Lost In Space"
This is no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man.
Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
We do not complain about your shortcomings but about your long stayings.
We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, "Do
not come home and all will be forgiven."
We know that you would give your life for us. Promises, promises!
We know that you would go to the end of the world for us. But would you stay there?
We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.
We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
Well, I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
What color is the sky in your world?
What he lacks in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is
blocking traffic.
Whatever is eating you - must be suffering horribly.
What's the latest dope - besides you?
When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.
When I look into your eyes, I see the back of your head.
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral but I'll probably have to go to work
that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they're trying
to come up with the perfect vacuum.
When you feel terrific, notify your face.
When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say
your stupidity.
When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but
the Mafia wanted too much.
When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?
Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
With a mind like yours, who needs a body?
Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe.
Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange
it with the undertaker.
You always have your ear to the ground. So how's life in the gutter?
You are a man of the world -- and you know what sad shape the world is in.
You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
You are down to earth but not quite far down enough.
You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
You are no longer beneath my contempt.
You are not as bad as people say - you are worse!
You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies!
You are so dumb you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jaywalking when all
the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.
You are so stupid you got hit by a parked car
You are such a smart-ass I bet you could sit on a carton of ice cream and tell what
flavor it is. (Thanks, Erin and Justin Keller)
You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But
when one gets to know you better, one hates you.
You could throw her in the river and skim ugly for two days.
You don't sweat much, for a fat girl.
You grow on people - like a wart!
You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!
You have a good weapon against muggers - your face!
You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.
You have a speech impediment ... your foot.
You have a striking face. Tell me, how many times were you struck there?
You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth!
You liked your first chin so much, you added two more.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one
lifetime.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You remind me of the ocean - you make me sick.
You say that you are always bright and early. Well OK, we know you are early.
You should be the poster child for birth control.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in
infanticide.
You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made
to suffer and here you came along.
You will never be able to live down to your reputation!
Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!
Your dog is so stupid, he chases parked cars.
Your family tree is good but you are the sap.
Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.
Your teeth are like stars - they come out at night.
Your verbosity is exceeded only by your stupidity.
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet.
You're acquitting yourself in a way that no jury ever would.
You're like one of those "idiot savants," except without the "savant" part.
You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you.
You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
You're so dumb you thought Taco Bell was a phone company.
You're so fat when you jumped up you got stuck.
You're so fat you got baptized at Sea World.
You're so fat you laid down in the ocean and Spain claimed you as the New World.
You're so fat you saw 90210 on a scale.
You're so fat you use hoola-hoops to keep your socks up.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.
You're so low you could milk a pregnant snake!
You're so old you drove a chariot to school.
You're so slow it takes you an hour and a half to watch "Sixty Minutes."
You're so small, you pose for trophies.
You're so stupid you threw a rock at the ground and missed.
You're so stupid you trip over the cord of a cellular phone!
You're so ugly when you went to a haunted house they offered you a job.
You're so ugly you almost look like your mother.
You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.
You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.
You're so ugly your husband goes everywhere alone.
You're so ugly your husband takes you with him everywhere he goes so he doesn't
have to kiss you bye.
You're so ugly, when you walk into taco bell, EVERYONE runs for the border!
You're very smart. You have brains you never used.
You've got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food twice.
You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

Excellent put-downs about famous women

She was incredibly ugly, uglier than almost anyone I had ever met. A thin, withered
creature, she sat hunched in her chair, in her heavy tweed suit and her thick lisle
stockings, impregnable and indifferent. She had a huge nose, a dark mustache, and
her dark-dyed hair was combed into absurd bangs over her forehead.
- - - Otto Friedrich (about Alice B. Toklas)
Face to face confrontations between famous women
I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
- - - Walter Matthau (to Barbra Streisand)
I loathe you. You revolt me stewing in your consumption . . . you are a loathsome
reptile - I hope you die.
- - - D. H. Lawrence (to Katherine Mansfield)
Insults about famous actresses
Zsa Zsa Gabor
She has discovered the secret of perpetual middle age.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)
She not only worships the golden calf, she barbecues it for lunch.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)
The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Zsa Zsa Gabor)
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.
- - - Bob Hope
Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
- - - Henny Youngman
Katherine Hepburn
She has a face that belongs to the sea and the wind, with large rocking-horse
nostrils and teeth that you just know bite an apple every day.
- - - Cecil Beaton (about Katherine Hepburn)
She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B.
- - - Dorothy Parker (about Katherine Hepburn)
Marilyn Monroe
Her body has gone to her head.
- - - Barbara Stanwyck (about Marilyn Monroe)
She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.
- - - Billy Wilder (about Marilyn Monroe)
She's a vacuum with nipples.
- - - Otto Preminger (about Marilyn Monroe)
Elizabeth Taylor
Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.�
- - - Mr. Blackwell
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.�
- - - Joan Rivers
Every minute this broad spends outside of bed is a waste of time.�
- - - Michael Todd (about Elizabeth Taylor)
Other Actresses
Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.
- - - Henry Allen (about Lauren Bacall, 1994)
A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same
amount of acting talent.�
- - - Mr. Blackwell (about Brigitte Bardot, 1962)
She's like an apple turnover that got crushed in a grocery bag on a hot day.
- - - Camille Paglia (about Drew Barrymore)
She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.�
- - - John Gielgud (about Ingrid Bergman)
A great actress, from the waist down.�
- - - Dame Margaret Kendal (about Sarah Bernhardt)
She looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater.�
- - - Louella Parsons (about Joan Collins)
Joan always cries a lot. Her tear ducts must be close to her bladder.�
- - - Bette Davis (about Joan Crawford)
A kind of cross between Julia Roberts and Jack Nicholson.�
- - - Jeremy Novick (about Lolita Davidovich, Modern Review, 1994)
She turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines. -
- - Joan Rivers (about Bo Derek)
A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked
it.�
- - - George Bernard Shaw (about Isadora Duncan)
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite sameness.�
- - - David Shipman (about Marlene Dietrich)
The worst and most homeliest thing to hit the screens since Liza Minelli.�
- - - John Simon (about Shelley Duvall)
Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a boy!�
- - - Ava Gardner (about Mia Farrow's marriage to Frank Sinatra)
Maybe it's the hair. Maybe it's the teeth. Maybe it's the intellect. No, it's the
hair.�
- - - Tom Shales (about Farrah Fawcett)
Jane Fonda coming back to the screen after a decade-and-a-half absence inMonster-
in-Law�is like Brando returning from the dead to star in a Police Academy movie.
- - - Michael Sragow
Purists, be warned: This scare-flick quickie [House of Wax] has as much relation to
the 1953 Vincent Price classic with the same title as Paris Hilton does to acting.
- - - Peter Travers
Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.�
- - - Bette Davis (about Jayne Mansfield)
Miss United Dairies herself.�
- - - David Niven (about Jayne Mansfield)
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid
Brezhnev.�
- - - Robin Williams
It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears
instead of her legs.�
- - - Katherine Hepburn (about Sharon Stone)
Whatever it was that this actress never had, she still hasn't got it.�
- - - Bosley Crowther (about Loretta Young)
Insults about famous athletes
Martina was so far in the closet she was in danger of being a garment bag.
- - - Rita Mae Brown (about Martina Navratilova)
Insults about famous comics
Roseanne Barr is a bowling ball looking for an alley.
- - - Mr. Blackwell
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being
neutered.
- - - Johnny Carson
She is as much fun as barbed wire.�
- - -Tom Hutchinson (about Sandra Bernhard)
I treasure every moment that I do not see her.
- - - Oscar Levant (about Phyllis Diller)
When it comes to acting, Joan Rivers has the range of a wart.
- - - Stewart Klein
Insults about famous musicians
Madonna
Armed with a wiggle and a Minnie Mouse squawk, she is coarse and charmless.
- - - Sheila Johnson (about Madonna, 1987)
I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it,
there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna.
- - - Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)
Not in this lifetime. Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done it to.
- - - Sharon Stone (when told Madonna has said she wants to kiss her)
She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else.
- - - Morrissey (about Madonna, 1986)
She is so hairy, when she lifted up her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her
armpit.
- - - Joan Rivers (about Madonna)
Other Musicians
Mariah the fashion pariah ... the queen of catastrophic kitsch
- - - Mr Blackwell (about Mariah Carey)
I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her
well.
- - - Joan Crawford (about Judy Garland)
She aught to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.
- - - Bette Midler (about Helen Reddy)
A cross between an aardvark and an albino rat.
- - - John Simon (about Barbra Streisand)
All legs and hair with a mouth that could swallow the whole stadium and the hot-dog
stand.
- - - Laura Lee Davies (about Tina Turner)
Her voice sounded like an eagle being goosed.
- - - Ralph Novak (about Yoko Ono)
If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.
- - - Joan Rivers (about Yoko Ono)
Insults about famous politicians
A senescent bimbo with a lust for home furnishings.
- - - Barbara Ehrenreich (about Nancy Reagan)
Attila the Hen.
- - - Clement Freud (about Margaret Thatcher)
Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the
throne would be classed as mentally defective.
- - - George Bernard Shaw (about Queen Victoria)
In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from
the Jurassic age. A royal wreck
- - - Mr. Blackwell (about Camilla Parker-Bowles)
Insults about famous writers
She preserved to the age of fifty-six that contempt for ideas which is normal among
boys and girls of fifteen.
- - - Odell Shepherd (about Louisa May Alcott)
A fungus of pendulous shape.
- - - Alice James (about George Eliot, pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans)
George Eliot has the heart of Sappho; but the face, with the long proboscis, the
protruding teeth of the Apocalyptic horse, betrayed animality.
- - - George Meredith (about George Eliot, pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans)
Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."
- - - Mary McCarthy (about Lillian Hellman)
She bellies up to the gourmet cracker-barrel and delivers laid-back wisdom with the
serenity of a down-home Buddha who has discovered that stool softeners really work.
- - - Florence King (about Molly Ivins)
To those she did not like . . . she was a stiletto made of sugar.
- - - John Mason Brown (about Dorothy Parker)
Isn't she a poisonous thing of a woman, lying, concealing, flipping, plagiarizing,
misquoting, and being as clever a crooked literary publicist as ever.
- - - Dylan Thomas (about Dame Edith Sitwell)
I am fairly unrepentant about her poetry. I really think that three quarters of it
is gibberish. However, I must crush down these thoughts, otherwise the dove of
peace will shit on me.�
- - - Noel Coward (about Dame Edith Sitwell)
In her last days, she resembled a spoiled pear.
- - - Gore Vidal (about Gertrude Stein)
She was a master at making nothing happen very slowly.
- - - Clifton Fadiman (about Gertrude Stein)
Virginia Woolf's writing is no more than glamorous knitting. I believe she must
have a pattern somewhere.
- - - Dame Edith Sitwell (about Virginia Woolf)
She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.
- - - Julie Andrews (about columnist Joyce Haber)
�
Insults about miscellaneous notable women
She was divinely, hysterically, insanely malevolent.
- - - Bette Davis (about Theda Bara)
She looks like something that would eat its young.
- - - Dorothy Parker (about Dame Edith Evans)
She is a lady short on looks, absolutely deprived of any dress sense, has a figure
like a Jurassic monster . . . very greedy when it comes to loot, no tact and wants
to upstage everyone else.
- - - Sir Nicholas Fairbairn (about Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York)
Timid? As timid as a buzz saw
- - - George Ells (about Hedda Hopper)
She must use Novocain lipstick.
- - - Jack Paar (about Dorothy Kilgallen)
Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality.
Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever
done, she'll have a new answer.
- - - Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live
No woman of our time has gone further with less mental equipment.
- - - Clifton Fadiman (about Clare Booth Luce)
She looked like a huge ball of fur on two well-developed legs.
- - - Nancy Mitford (about Princess Margaret, 1959)
She's about as feminine as a sidewalk drill.
- - - Maryon Allen (about Phyllis Schlafly�
Excellent put-downs about famous men
He is racist, he's homophobic, he's xenophobic and he's a sexist. He's the perfect
Republican candidate.
- - - Bill Press (about Pat Buchanan)
A sophistical rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity, and
gifted with an egotistical imagination that can at all times command an
interminable and inconsistent series of arguments to malign an opponent and to
glorify himself.
- - - Benjamin Disraeli (about William Gladstone)
He had a charisma that must have come out of an immaculate conception between Fidel
Castro and Groucho Marx. They went into his soul and he came out looking like an
ethnic milkshake--Jewish revolutionary, Puerto Rican lord, Italian street kid,
Black Panther with the old Afro haircut, even a glint of Irish gunman in the mad,
green eyes.
- - - Norman Mailer (about Abbie Hoffman, 1989)
Any political party that can't cough up anything better than a treacherous brain-
damaged old vulture like Hubert Humphrey deserves every beating it gets. They don't
hardly make 'em like Hubert any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should
be castrated anyway.
- - - Hunter S. Thompson (about Hubert Humphrey, 1973)
He sits there in senile dementia with a gangrene heart and rotting brain, grimacing
at every reform, chattering impotently at all things that are decent, frothing,
fuming, violently gibbering, going down to his grave in snarling infamy ...
disgraceful, depraved ... and putrescent.
- - - Hiram Johnson (about Harrison Grey Otis)
The ineffable dunce has nothing to say and says it with a liberal embellishment of
bad delivery, embroidering it with reasonless vulgarities of attitude, gesture and
attire. There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so
variously and offensively daft. He makes me tired.
- - - Ambrose Bierce (about Oscar Wilde, 1882)
Face to face confrontations between famous men
Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?
- - - Don Rickles (to Ernest Borgnine)
Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you
have one.�
- - - George Bernard Shaw (to Winston Churchill)
Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there
is one.�
- - - Churchill's reply
Don't be so humble, you're not that great.
- - - Golda Meir (to Moshe Dayan)
Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.
- - - Donald Trump (to Larry King)
I'm not having points taken off me by an incompetent old fool. You're the pits of
the world.
- - - John McEnroe (to tennis judge Edward James)
You can't see as well as these fucking flowers - and they're fucking plastic.
- - - John McEnroe (to a line judge)
What other problems do you have besides being unemployed, a moron and a dork?
- - - John McEnroe (to a spectator at a tennis match)
You're like a pay toilet, aren't you? You don't give a shit for nothing.
- - - Howard Hughes (to Robert Mitchum)
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
- - - Don Rickles (to David Letterman on 02/5/96 "Late Show")
He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
- - - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
- - - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
He's phony, using his blackness to get his way.
- - - Joe Frazier (about Muhammad Ali)
Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife.
- - - Muhammad Ali
His writing is limited to songs for dead blondes.
- - - Keith Richards (about Elton John)
I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith
Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go on stage
and look young. I have great respect for the Stones but they would have been better
if they had thrown Keith out 15 years ago.
- - - Elton John (about Keith Richards)
If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.
- - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill)
If you were my wife, I'd drink it.
- - - Winston Churchill, in reply
You will either die on the gallows or of a loathsome disease.
- - - John Montague (to John Wilkes)�
That depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.
- - - John Wilkes, in reply
Do you mind if I smoke?
- - - Oscar Wilde (to Sarah Bernhardt)
I don't care if you burn.
- - - Sarah Bernhardt, in reply
My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state. Why
don't you ever finish them?
- - - Frederic Leighton (to James McNeill Whistler)
My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?
- - - James McNeill Whistler, in reply
Insulting comments about famous actors
He's the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.
- - - Mamie Van Doren (about Warren Beatty)
You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you.
- - - Carly Simon (about Warren Beatty)
The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters.�
- - - David Letterman (about Warren Beatty, 1991)
What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a
future in politics?
- - - Ronald Reagan (about Clint Eastwood running for mayor of Carmel)
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of wet toilet paper.
- - - Rex Reed (about Marlon Brando)
He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.
- - - Johnny Carson (about Chevy Chase)
He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it.
- - - Marlon Brando (about Montgomery Clift)
He got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line.
- - - King Vidor (about Gary Cooper)
I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur.
- - - Charlie Sheen (about Colin Farrell)
His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open.
- - - Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)
Steve Martin has basically one joke and he's it.
- - - Dave Felton
Nothing happens. At all. Ever. Remember when Steve Martin was funny? Apparently,
neither does he.
- - - Robert Wilonsk (about the movie,�Cheaper by the Dozen)
Now there sits a man with an open mind. You can feel the draft from here.
- - - Groucho Marx (about Chico Marx)
There were three things that Chico was always on - a phone, a horse, or a broad.
- - - Groucho Marx (about his brother, Chico)
He looked like a half-melted rubber bulldog.
- - - John Simon (about Walter Matthau)
His features resembled a fossilized wash rag.
- - - Alan Brien (about Steve McQueen)
He has turned almost alarmingly blond - he's gone past platinum, he must be
plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth.
- - - Pauline Kael (about Robert Redford)
Poor little man, they made him out of lemon Jell-O and there he is. He's honest and
hardworking but he's not great.
- - - Adela Rogers St. John (about Robert Redford)
Well at least he has finally found his true love � what a pity he can't marry
himself.�
- - - Frank Sinatra (about Robert Redford)
Stars The Rock, but The Wood might be a better description of his performance.
- - - Peter Rainer (about wrestler turned actor, The Rock, in the movie,�Walking
Tall)
His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.
- - - Phyllis Diller (about Mickey Rooney)
Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a condom full of walnuts.
- - - Clive James
He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of
a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce.�
- - - Fintan O'Toole, film critic, (about Quentin Tarantino)
Insulting comments about famous athletes
McEnroe was as charming as always, which means that he was as charming as a dead
mouse in a loaf of bread.
- - - Clive James (about John McEnroe)
Beyond the hair, tattoos and earrings, he's just like you and me.
- - - Bob Hill (about Dennis Rodman, 1995)
Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point
where he will do anything humanly possible to make money.
- - - Charles Barkley (about Dennis Rodman, 1997)
He has so many fish hooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait.
- - - Bob Costas (about Dennis Rodman)
Insulting comments about famous musicians
I love his work but I couldn't warm to him even if I was cremated next to him.
- - - Keith Richards (about Chuck Berry)
I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized to how many people
he is not a sex symbol but a mother image.
- - - David Bowie
He sings like he's throwing up.
- - - Andrew O'Connor (about Bryan Ferry)
The instant asphalt Elvis from Philadelphia.
- - - Fred Schuers (about Fabian)
Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.
- - - Joan Rivers
Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.
- - - Molly Ivins
Michael Jackson's album was only called "Bad" because there wasn't enough room on
the sleeve for "Pathetic."
- - - The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (about Michael Jackson)
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael
Jackson, to the kiddy pool.�
- - - Bill Maher (about Michael Jackson, 1994)
He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library!�
- - - Melody Maker (about Michael Jackson, 1992)
He now looks like a Barbie doll that has been whittled at by a malicious brother.�
- - - Thomas Sutcliffe (about Michael Jackson, 1993)
With his womanly voice, stark white skin and Medusa hair, his gash of red lipstick,
heavy eyeliner, almost nonexistent nose and lopsided face, Jackson was making his
TV appearance in order to scotch all rumors that he is not quite normal.�
- - - Craig Brown (about Michael Jackson, The Times of London, 1993)
He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire.
- - - Truman Capote (about Mick Jagger)
He sounds like he's got a brick dangling from his willy, and a food-mixer making
pur�e of his tonsils.
- - - Paul Lester (about Jon Bon Jovi)
Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis. Which explains why she
changed her name from Anderson to Lee.
- - - Conan O'Brien (about Tommy Lee)
He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized.
- - - Paul McCartney (about John Lennon)
A deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium-plated, scent-impregnated,
luminous, quivering, giggling, mincing heap of mother love.
- - - William Connor (about Liberace)
He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.�
- - - Anna Quindlen (about Paul McCartney)
Sleeping with George Michael would be like having sex with a groundhog.
- - - Boy George
When you talk to him, he looks at you and grins and grins and nods and nods and
appears to be the world's best listener, until you realize he is not listening at
all.
- - - Larry L. King (about Willie Nelson)
He sang like a hinge.
Ethel Merman (about Cole Porter)
Elvis transcends his talent to the point of dispensing with it altogether.
- - - Greil Marcus (about Elvis Presley, 1976)
Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.
- - - Julie Burchill (about Elvis Presley)
Bambi with testosterone.
- - - Owen Gleiberman (about Prince, 1990)
He looks like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair.
- - - Boy George (about Prince, 1986)
Even the deaf would be traumatized by prolonged exposure to the most hideous croak
in Western culture. Richards's voice is simply horrible.
- - - Nick Coleman (about Keith Richards)
He plays four-and-a-half-hour sets. That's torture. Does he hate his audience?
- - - John Lydon (about Bruce Springsteen)
He was so mean it hurt him to go to the bathroom.
- - - Britt Eklund (about Rod Stewart)
'Slavic March' -- "One feels that the composer must have made a bet, for all his
professional reputation was worth, that he would write the most hideous thing that
had ever been put on paper, and he won it, too.
- - - Boston Evening Transcript (about Tchaikovsky, 1883)
I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung by its tail outside a
window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.
- - - Charles Baudelaire (about Richard Wagner)
Wagner was a monster. He was anti-Semitic on Mondays and vegetarian on Tuesdays. On
Wednesday he was in favor of annexing Newfoundland, Thursday he wanted to sink
Venice, and Friday he wanted to blow up the pope.
- - - Tony Palmer (about Richard Wagner)
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- - - Edgar Wilson "Bill" Nye
Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow
for forty-five minutes.
- - - Aaron Copland
Insulting comments about famous politicians
History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of
three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon -- See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and
Evil.
- - - Robert J. Dole, speech, 1983
George Bush
A pin-stripin' polo-playin' umbrella-totin' Ivy-leaguer, born with a silver spoon
so far in his mouth that you couldn't get it out with a crowbar.
- - - Bill Baxley (about George Bush)
He can't help it - he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
- - - Ann Richards (about George Bush)
He' a Boy Scout with a hormone imbalance.
- - - Kevin Phillips (about George Bush)
If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's
head.
- - - Jim Hightower, 1988
�
GeorgeW. Bush
George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd. A moron, if you'll pardon the
expression.
- - - Martin Sheen
�
Jimmy Carter
He is your typical smiling, brilliant, back-stabbing, bullshitting southern nut-
cutter.
- - - Lane Kirkland (about Jimmy Carter)
Winston Churchill
He has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.
- - - F. E. Smith (about Winston Churchill)
He is a man suffering from petrified adolescence.
- - - Aneurin Bevan (about Winston Churchill)
He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to
beat his own praises.
- - - Margot Asquith (about Winston Churchill)
I thought he was a young man of promise; but it appears he was a young man of
promises.
- - - Arthur Balfour (about Winston Churchill)
Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.
- - - F. E. Smith (about Winston Churchill)
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had
breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.
- - - Pat Buchanan
I'm just sick and tired of presidents who jog. Remember, if Bill Clinton wins,
we're going to have another four years of his white thighs flapping in the wind.
- - - Arianna Huffington, 1995
When I was president, I said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Well what we have now is
a convertible Dodge.
- - - Gerald Ford (about Bill Clinton, 1996)
President Clinton apparently gets so much action that every couple of weeks they
have to spray WD-40 on his zipper.
- - - David Letterman, 1998
Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of
town.
- - - Tom Clancy, 1998
Bob Dole
When he does smile, he looks as if he's just evicted a widow.
- - - Mike Royko (about Bob Dole, 1988)
Gerald Ford
Hark, when Gerald Ford was king--�
We were bored with everything.�
Unemployment 6 percent,
What a boring president.
Nothing major needed fixin'
So he pardoned Richard Nixon.
- - - Bill Strauss and Eliana Newport, 1982
He is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.
- - - Lyndon Baines Johnson (about Gerald Ford)
He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
- - - Lyndon Baines Johnson (about Gerald Ford)
Lyndon Baines Johnson
He turned out to be so many different characters he could have populated all of War
and Peace and still had a few people left over.
- - - Herbert Mitgang (about Lyndon Baines Johnson, 1980)
Richard Nixon
Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
- - - Abbie Hoffman (1971)
He bleeds people. He draws every drop of blood and then drops them from a cliff.
He'll blame any person he can put his foot on.
- - - Martha Mitchell (about Richard M. Nixon, 1973)
He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard
work, he overcame them.
- - - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar....He's one of the few in the history of this
country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same
time and lying out of both sides.
- - - Harry S Truman (about Richard M. Nixon, 1978)
He was like a kamikaze pilot who keeps apologizing for the attack.
- - - Mary McGrory (about Richard M. Nixon, 1962)
Here is a guy who's had a stake driven through his heart. I mean, really nailed to
the bottom of the coffin with a wooden stake, and a silver bullet through the
forehead for good measure -- and yet he keeps coming back.
- - - Ted Koppel (about Richard M. Nixon, 1984)
I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.
- - - Lyndon B. Johnson (about a speech by Richard M. Nixon)
I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- - - Art Buchwald (about Richard Nixon)
Nixon's motto was: If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- - - Norman Cousins (about Richard M. Nixon)
Sir Richard-the-Chicken-Hearted.
- - - Hubert H. Humphrey (about Richard M. Nixon)
Dan Quayle
Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.
- - - Matt Groening, 1993
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking, "Do you want fries
with that?"
- - - John Cleese
Ronald Reagan
A triumph of the embalmer's art.
- - - Gore Vidal (about Ronald Reagan)
Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a
brain is better than a Democrat with two.
- - - P.J. O'Rourke,1997
He doesn't die his hair - he's just prematurely orange.
- - - Gerald Ford (about Ronald Reagan)
He doesn't die his hair, he bleaches his face.
- - - Johnny Carson (about Ronald Reagan)
He has a chance to make somebody move over on Mount Rushmore. He's working for his
place on the coins and the postage stamps.
- - - Henry Graff (about Ronald Reagan, 1985)
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an
arctic wilderness.
- - - Steve Martin
I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water
when Ronnie speaks.
- - - Robin Williams (about Ronald Reagan)
In the heat of a political lifetime, he innocently squirrels away tidbits of
misinformation and then, sometimes years later, casually drops them into his public
discourse, like gum balls in a quiche.
- - - Lucy Howard (about Ronald Reagan 1985)
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
He makes a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float look ridiculous. I think he's slowly but
surely regressing into movies again. In his mind he's looking at dailies, playing
dailies over and over.
- - - Robin Williams (about Ronald Reagan, 1988)
The youthful sparkle in his eyes is caused by his contact lenses, which he keeps
highly polished.
- - - Sheila Graham (about Ronald Reagan)
Washington could not tell a lie; Nixon could not tell the truth; Reagan cannot tell
the difference.
- - - Mort Sahl
Other Politicians
It has been the political career of this man to begin with hypocrisy, proceed with
arrogance, and finish with contempt.
- - - Thomas Paine (about John Adams)
A nonentity with side whiskers.
- - - Woodrow Wilson (about Chester A. Arthur)
One could not even dignify him with the name of stuffed shirt. He was simply a hole
on the air.
- - - George Orwell (about Stanley Baldwin)
He has the lucidity which is the byproduct of a fundamentally sterile mind.
- - - Aneurin Bevan (about Neville Chamberlain)
Dangerous as an enemy, untrustworthy as a friend, but fatal as a colleague.
- - - Sir Hercules Robinson (about Joseph Chamberlain)
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
- - - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (about Calvin Coolidge)
How can they tell?
- - - Dorothy Parker (hearing of Calvin Coolidge's death)
He's the only man able to walk under a bed without hitting his head.
- - - Walter Winchell (about Thomas E. Dewey)
You really have to get to know him to dislike him.
- - - James T. Patterson (about Thomas E. Dewey)
He is just about the nastiest little man I've ever known. He struts sitting down.
- - - Lillian Dykstra (about Thomas E. Dewey)
Like the little man on top of the wedding cake.
- - - Source questionable, either: Walter Winchell, Ethel Barrymore, or Grace
Hodgson Flandrau (about Thomas E. Dewey, 1944)
The Wizard of Ooze.
- - - John F. Kennedy (about Everett Dirksen)
Why, this fellow don't know any more about politics than a pig knows about Sunday.
- - - Harry S Truman (about Dwight D. Eisenhower)
Oh, if I could piss the way he speaks!
- - - Georges Clemenceau (about David Lloyd George)
It was hard to listen to Goldwater and realize that a man could be half Jewish and
yet sometimes appear twice as dense as the normal Gentile.
- - - I. F. Stone (about Barry Goldwater, 1968)
His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the
landscape in search of an idea.
- - - William McAdoo (about Warren Harding)
His writing is rumble and bumble, flap and doodle, balder and dash.
- - - H. L. Mencken (about Warren Harding)
He wouldn't commit himself to the time of day from a hatful of watches.
- - - Westbrook Pegler (about Herbert Hoover)
Such a little man could not have made so big a depression.
- - - Norman Thomas (about Herbert Hoover)
The hustler from Chicago.
- - - George Bush (about Jesse Jackson, 1988)
We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest
amount of words into the smallest amount of thought.
- - - Winston Churchill (about Ramsay MacDonald)
He has no more backbone than a chocolate eclair.
- - - Louise Lamprey (about President McKinley, 1897)
The right honorable and learned gentleman has twice crossed the floor of this
House, each time leaving behind a trail of slime.
- - - David Lloyd George (about Sir John Simon)
Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination.
- - - Irving Layton (about Pierre Trudeau)
To err is Truman.
- - - A popular joke in 1946
Insults about famous writers
He is all ice and wooden faced acrobatics.
- - - Percy Wyndham Lewis (about Wystan Hugh Auden)
His verse . . . is the beads without the string.
- - - Gerard Manley Hopkins (about Robert Browning)
He is mad, bad and dangerous to know.
- - - Lady Caroline Lamb (about Lord Byron)
The world is rid of him, but the deadly slime of his touch remains.
- - - John Constable (about the death of Lord Byron)
A great zircon in the diadem of American literature.
- - - Gore Vidal (about Truman Capote)
He's a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.
- - - Gore Vidal (about Truman Capote)
Truman Capote's death was a good career move.�
- - - Gore Vidal
A huge pendulum attached to a small clock.
- - - Ivan Panin (about Samuel Taylor Coleridge)
His imagination resembles the wings of an ostrich.
- - - Thomas Babington Macaulay (about John Dryden)
T. S. Eliot and I like to play, but I like to play euchre, while he likes to play
Eucharist.
- - - Robert Frost (about T. S. Eliot)
Even those who call Mr. Faulkner our greatest literary sadist do not fully
appreciate him, for it is not merely his characters who have to run the gauntlet
but also his readers.
- - - Clifton Fadiman (about William Faulkner)
He uses a lot of big words, and his sentences are from here to the airport.
- - - Carolyn Chute (about William Faulkner)
He was a great friend of mine. Well, as much as you could be a friend of his,
unless you were a fourteen-year-old nymphet.
- - - Truman Capote (about William Faulkner)
Fitzgerald never got rid of anything; the ghosts of his adolescence, the failures
of his youth, the doubts of his maturity plagued him to the end. He was supremely a
part of the world he described, so much a part that he made himself its king and
then, when he saw it begin to crumble, he crumbled with it and led it to death.
- - - John Aldridge (about F. Scott Fitzgerald)
An animated adenoid.
- - - Norman Douglas (about Ford Maddox Ford)
A nice, acrid, savage, pathetic old chap.
- - - I. A. Richards (about Robert Frost)
Gibbon is an ugly, affected, disgusting fellow and poisons our literary club for
me. I class him among infidel wasps and venomous insects.
- - - James Boswell (about Edward Gibbon)
He walked as if he had fouled his small clothes and looks as if he smelt it.
- - - Christopher Smart (about Thomas Gray)
Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him.
- - - F. Scott Fitzgerald (about Ernest Hemingway)
The stupid person's idea of the clever person.
- - - Elizabeth Bowen (about Aldous Huxley)
He had a mind so fine that no idea could violate it.
- - - T. S. Eliot (about Henry James)
A little emasculated mass of inanity.
- - - Theodore Roosevelt (about Henry James)
I am reading Henry James...and feel myself as one entombed in a block of smooth
amber.
- - - Virginia Woolf (about Henry James)
He spares no resource in telling of his dead inventions... Bare verbs he rarely
tolerates. He splits infinitives and fills them up with adverbial stuffing. He
presses the passing colloquialism into his service. His vast paragraphs sweat and
struggle; they could not sweat and elbow and struggle more if God Himself was the
processional meaning to which they sought to come.�
- - - H. G. Wells (about Henry James)
Reading him is like wading through glue.
- - - Alfred, Lord Tennyson (about Ben Johnson)
There is no arguing with Johnson; for when his pistol misses fire, he knocks you
down with the butt end of it.
- - - Oliver Goldsmith (about Samuel Johnson)
Nothing but old fags and cabbage-stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest,
stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.
- - - D. H. Lawrence (about James Joyce, 1928)
That's not writing, that's typing.
- - - Truman Capote (about Jack Kerouac's style)
Mr. Lawrence looked like a plaster gnome on a stone toadstool in some suburban
garden . . . he looked as if he had just returned from spending an uncomfortable
night in a very dark cave.
- - - Dame Edith Sitwell (about D. H. Lawrence)
There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to
read Pope.
- - - Oscar Wilde (about Alexander Pope)
Some call Pope little nightingale - all sound and no sense.
- - - Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (about Alexander Pope)
He was humane but not human.
- - - e e Cummings (about Ezra Pound)
To me Pound remains the exquisite showman without the show.
- - - Ben Hecht (about Ezra Pound)
He is able to turn an unplotted, unworkable manuscript into an unplotted and
unworkable manuscript with a lot of sex.�
- - - Tom Volpe (about Harold Robbins)
The cruelest thing that has happened to Lincoln since he was shot by Booth was to
fall into the hands of Carl Sandburg.
- - - Edmund Wilson
A freakish homunculus germinated outside lawful procreation.
- - - Henry Arthur Jones (about George Bernard Shaw)
He writes his plays for the ages--the ages between five and twelve.
- - - George Nathan (about George Bernard Shaw)
Sitting in a sewer and adding to it.
- - - Thomas Carlyle (about Algernon Charles Swinburne)
A dirty man with opium-glazed eyes and rat-taily hair.
- - - Lady Frederick Cavendish (about Alfred, Lord Tennyson)
A tall, thin, spectacled man with the face of a harassed rat.
- - - Russell Maloney (about James Thurber)
That insolent little ruffian, that crapulous lout. When he quitted a sofa, he left
behind him a smear.
- - - Norman Cameron (about Dylan Thomas)
A large shaggy dog unchained scouring the beaches of the world and baying at the
moon.
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson (about Walt Whitman)
Oscar Wilde's talent seems to me to be essentially rootless, something growing in
glass on a little water.
- - - George Moore (about Oscar Wilde)
Dank, limber verses, stuft with lakeside sedges
And propt with rotten stakes from rotten hedges.
- - - Walter Savage Landor (about William Wordsworth)
Insulting comments about miscellaneous men
He couldn't Master Mind an electric bulb into a socket.
- - - Fanny Brice (about her husband Nick Arnstein)
A fat little flabby person, with the face of a baker, the clothes of a cobbler, the
size of a barrel maker, the manners of a stocking salesman, and the dress of an
innkeeper.
- - - Victor de Balabin (about Honor� de Balzac)
A monstrous orchid.
- - - Oscar Wilde (about Aubrey Beardsley)
An enchanting toad of a man.
- - - Helen Hayes (about Robert Benchley)
When he has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
- - - George Burns (about Jack Benny)
He's done everybody's act. He's a parrot with skin on.
- - - Fred Allen (about Milton Berle)
His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of
nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.
- - - Irving Stone (about William Jennings Bryan)
He's an anesthetist - Prince Valium.
- - - Mort Sahl (about Johnny Carson)
He is, like almost all the eminent men of this country, only half educated. His
morals, public and private, are loose.
- - - John Quincy Adams (about Henry Clay)
The biggest bug in the manure pile.
- - - Elia Kazan (about Harry Cohn)
The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.
- - - David Feherty (about Nick Faldo)
Gone With the Wind is going to be the biggest flop in Hollywood history. I'm just
glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling flat on his face and not Gary Cooper.
- - - Gary Cooper (after he turned down the role of Rhett Butler)
He was dull in a new way, and that made many people think him great.
- - - Samuel Johnson (about Thomas Gray)
He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.
- - - Sam Houston (about Thomas Jefferson Green)
He's thin boys. He's thin as piss on a hot rock.
- - - William F. Jenner (about Averell Harriman)
. . . a pig, an ass, a dunghill, the spawn of an adder, a basilisk, a lying
buffoon, a mad fool with a frothy mouth.
- - - Martin Luther (about Henry VIII)
The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human
nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.
- - - Charles Dickens (about Henry VIII)
A cherub's face, a reptile all the rest.
- - - Alexander Pope (about Lord Hervey)
If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan.
- - - Jed Clampett (from "The Beverly Hillbillies")
The General is suffering from mental saddle sores.
- - - Harold L. Ickes (about Hugh S. Johnson)
His pictures seem to resemble not pictures but a sample book of patterns of
linoleum.
- - - Cyril Asquith (about Paul Klee)
A character who, if he had not existed, could not be imagined.
- - - S. N. Behrman (about Oscar Levant)
He is suffering from halitosis of the intellect. That's presuming he has intellect.
- - - Harold Ickes (about Huey Long)
I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a
moment it shall be behind me.
- - - Max Reger (letter to critic Rudolph Louis, 1906)
Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.
- - - Alice Roosevelt Longworth (about Douglas MacArthur)
He has a face like a warthog that has been stung by a wasp.
- - - David Feherty (about Colin Montgomerie)
In defeat he was unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.
- - - Edward Marsh (about B. L. Montgomery)
An agile but unintelligent and abnormal German, possessed of the mania of grandeur.
- - - Leo Tolstoy (about Friedrich Nietzsche)
He has committed every crime that does not require courage.
- - - Benjamin Disraeli (about Daniel O'Connell)
If he were any dumber, he'd be a tree.
- - - Barry Goldwater (about William Scott)
- - - Ninon de Lenclos (about the Marquis de Sevigne)
A man who so much resembled a Baked Alaska - sweet, warm and gungy on the outside,
hard and cold within.
- - - Joseph O'Connor (about C. P. Snow)
His style has the desperate jauntiness of an orchestra fiddling away for dear life
on a sinking ship.
- - - Edmund Wilson (about Evelyn Waugh)
The only genius with an IQ of 60.
- - - Gore Vidal (about Andy Warhol)
Every drop of blood in that man's veins has eyes that look downward.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson (about Daniel Webster)
He looked like something that had gotten loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
- - - Harpo Marx (about Alexander Woollcott)
From Poland to Polo in one generation.
- - - Arthur Caesar (about Darryl Zanuck)
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
- - - George Nathan (about J. M. Barrie)

Excellent put-downs
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
- - - Cynthia Heimel
The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is
a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient,
emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional
cripples.
- - - Valerie Solanos
The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed
signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose
like a trigonometry problem. What's more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles
that come from a lifetime of bad character.�
- - - P.J. O'Rourke "Holidays in Hell"
You slam a politician, you make out he's the devil, with horns and hoofs. But his
wife loves him, and so did all his mistresses.
- - - Pamela Hansford Johnson
Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling
invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling,
dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've
got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they
can breed.
- - - D. H. Lawrence, 1912
Insults about nationality
Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think
there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the
Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.
- - - Bill Bryson
In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are
important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain
what a writer is.
- - - Geoffrey Cottrell
There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition
is that it is the place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the
comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the
Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the
food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government, and the common
language is Dutch.
- - - David Frost and Anthony Jay
America
America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum
floats to the top.
- - - Charlie King
Americans always try to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else.
- - - Winston Churchill
Americans are possibly the dumbest people on the planet. ...We Americans suffer
from an enforced ignorance. We don't know about anything that's happening outside
our country. Our stupidity is embarrassing.
- - - Michael Moore
Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup,
mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which
destroys the original flavor of the dish.�
- - - Henry Miller
America is one long expectoration.
- - - Oscar Wilde
America knows nothing of food, love, or art.�
- - - Isadora Duncan
I don't see much future for the Americans. Everything about the behavior of the
American society reveals that it's half judaized, and the other half is negrified.
How can one expect a state like that to hold together?
- - - Adolf Hitler
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
- - - Woody Allen
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably
precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to
never practice either of them.
- - - Mark Twain (about America)
Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.
- - - Miles Kington
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always
been hushed up.
- - - Oscar Wilde
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
Their demeanor is invariably morose, sullen, clownish and repulsive. I should think
there is not, on the face of the earth, a people so entirely destitute of humor,
vivacity, or the capacity for enjoyment.
- - - Charles Dickens (about Americans)
Argentina
The Mexicans descend from the Aztecs; the Peruvians descend from the Incas; the
Argentineans descend from the boats.
- - - Carlos Fuentes, Mexican novelist
Canada
Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women.
- - - Richard Brenner
I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much; what I
got by going to Canada was a cold.�
- - - Henry David Thoreau "A Yankee in Canada" (1853)
England
Britain is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the
sex.
- - - Jackie Mason
England, the heart of a rabbit in the body of a lion. The jaws of a serpent, in an
abode of popinjays.
- - - Eugene Deschamps
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.�
- - -�Fred Allen "Treadmill to Oblivion"
I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an
Englishman in the dark.
- - - Duncan Spaeth
The English think soap is civilization.
- - - Heinrich von Treitschke
The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is one thing on earth more terrible than English music, and that is English
painting.
- - - Heinrich Heine
France
The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells
like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they
gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
- - - P.J.O'Rourke
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet
paper.�
- - - Billy Wilder
Germany
German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a
sick bag on a 747.
- - - Willy Rushton
Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
- - - Mark Twain
The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.
- - - Clifton Fadiman
You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal,
too, for all the good it does.
- - - P.J. O'Rourke "Holidays in Hell"
Greece
Few things can be less tempting or dangerous than a Greek woman of the age of
thirty.
- - - John Carne
Ireland
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
- - - Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)
The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely
no talent.
- - - Hugh Leonard
Japan
The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from
rudeness.
- - - Paul Theroux
Russia
In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen
and his wife and children murdered.
- - - Winston Churchill
Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka,
smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled
cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and
vodka-anything and everything and vodka.�
- - - Hedrick Smith "The Russians"
Scotland
Scotland: A land of meanness, sophistry and lust.
- - - Lord Byron
Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of
Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.
- - - Sydney Smith
Yugoslavia
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.
- - - Ed Begley, Jr.
Insults about appearance
A blank, helpless sort of face, rather like a rose just before you drench it with
DDT.
- - - John Carey
A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.
- - - Earl Long
A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
- - - Winston Churchill
At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date.
- - - Edith Massey in "Polyester"
Don't point that beard at me, it might go off.
- - - Groucho Marx
Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
- - - Mark Twain
He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating.
- - - Ayn Rand
He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.
- - - George C. Scott
He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously.
- - - Oliver Goldsmith
He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its
own.
- - - Margaret Halsey
He strains his conversation through a cigar.
- - - Hamilton Mabie
He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his
years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.
- - - -P.G. Wodehouse
He's a trellis for varicose veins.
- - - Wilson Mizner
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
- - - Johnny Carson
He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
- - - Fred Allen
He'd make a lovely corpse.
- - - Charles Dickens
Her face was her chaperone.
- - - Rupert Hughes
Her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
- - - Woody Allen
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style. It will look ridiculous year
after year.
- - - Fred Allen
Her only flair is in her nostrils.
- - - Pauline Kael
Her skin was white as leprosy.
- - - S. T. Coleridge
His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue
drips poison.
- - - John Quincy Adams
His face was filled with broken commandments.
- - - John Masefield
His smile is like the silver plate on a coffin.
- - - John Philpot Curran
His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.
- - - Charles Lamb
I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
- - - Oscar Wilde
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
- - - Groucho Marx
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.
- - - No�l Coward
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
- - - Dr. Gonzo
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
- - - Jeff Foxworthy
Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
- - - Alan Bennett
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
- - - Groucho Marx
She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.
- - - Noel Coward
She is a peacock in everything but beauty.
- - - Oscar Wilde
She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.
- - - Elsa Lanchester
She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it.
- - - Bob Fosse
She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots
on her yellow skin.
- - - Heinrich Heine
She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.
- - - Margot Asquith
She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.
- - - James Matthew Barrie
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
- - - Will Rogers
She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand.
- - - Saul Bellow
She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
- - - Jonathan Swift
The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.
- - - William Shakespeare
When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for
the clothes.
- - - Josh Billings
While you remain at home your hair is at the hairdresser's; you take out your teeth
at night and sleep tucked away in a hundred cosmetics boxes - even your face does
not sleep with you.
- - - Martial, 1st Century AD (to a female friend)
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
- - - Mark Twain
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
- - - P. G. Wodehouse
Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.
- - - from "The Greatest American Hero"
You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
- - - Irvin S. Cobb
Insults about gender
Women
A woman is just a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
- - - Rudyard Kipling
A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice.
- - - Phillip Marlowe
A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done
well; but you are surprised to see it done at all.
- - - James Boswell
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
- - - Oliver Herford
Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.
- - - John Vanbrugh
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she
is.
- - - Helen Rowland
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.
- - - W. C. Fields
Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking.
- - - Rupert Hughes
Men
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
- - - Maryon Pearson
Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.
- - - Katharine Whitehorn
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
- - - Elizabeth Taylor
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as
possible.
- - - Margaret Mead (May 15, 1958)
Insults about intelligence
A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.
- - - Alexander Pope
A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.
- - - Tom Waits
A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
- - - Alexander Pope
Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?
- - - from "Heathers"
Differently clued.
- - - Dave Clark
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
- - - Josh Billing
End of season sale at the cerebral department.
- - - Gareth Blackstock
Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
- - - David Letterman
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- - - Abraham Lincoln
He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.
- - - Robert Redford
He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
- - - Billy Wilder
He is brilliant - to the top of his boots.
- - - David Lloyd George
He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.
- - - John Steinbeck
He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the
cabbages.
- - - Mark Twain
He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
- - - Joseph Heller
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political
career.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
He knows so little and knows it so fluently.
- - - Ellen Glasgow
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
- - - Forrest Tucker
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He
really is an idiot.
- - - Groucho Marx
He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.
- - - Leo Tolstoy
He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.
- - - Earl of Rochester
He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.
- - - Sydney Smith
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
- - - John Ruskin
He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not
illumination.
- - - Andrew Lang
He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.
- - - Samuel Butler
He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong.
- - - Benjamin Disraeli
His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.
- - - Robin Williams
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it
anywhere.
- - - Mark Twain
His ignorance is encyclopedic.
- - - Abba Eban
His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.
- - - F. H. Bradley
His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it.
- - - Heywood Braun
I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?
- - - Ashleigh Brilliant
I wish I'd known you when you were alive.
- - - Leonard Louis Levinson
I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland.
- - - Eugene McCarthy
If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.
- - - William Lashner "Veritas"
Little things affect little minds.
- - - Benjamin Disraeli
Next-day delivery in a nanosecond world.
- - - Van Jacobson
No more sense of direction than a bunch of firecrackers.
- - - Rob Wagner
Please try not to be such a wiener-head.
- - - Dave Barry
Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.
- - - Foghorn Leghorn
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
- - - W. Somerset Maugham
She is a water bug on the surface of life.
- - - Gloria Steinem
She's descended from a long line her mother listened to.
- - - Gypsy Rose Lee
Stay with me; I want to be alone.
- - - Joey Adams
Teflon brain (nothing sticks.)
- - - Lily Tomlin
That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it
has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
- - - Douglas Adams
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.
- - - Thomas Brackett Reed
Useless as a pulled tooth.
- - - Mary Roberts Rinehart
What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You!
- - - from "Murphy Brown"
What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.
- - - Fred Allen
When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?
- - - David Letterman
While he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter either.
- - - James Thurber
You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving.
- - - David Letterman
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of
it.
- - - Groucho Marx
Insults about occupation
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
- - - Oscar Wilde
A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping
rabbits.
- - - Edith Sitwell
A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.
- - - Benjamin Disraeli
Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly
bewildered.
- - - Al Capp
An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.
- - - Gene Fowler
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
- - - Mark Twain
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
- - - Fred Allen
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain
was up.
- - - Groucho Marx
I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all of the
hours of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake.
- - - John D. Rockefeller
If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I
wouldn't be surprised.
- - - Dorothy Parker
If there's anything disgusting about the movie business, it's the whoredom of my
peers.
- - - Sean Penn
In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of
negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical
hypochondriacs of history.
- - - Spiro T. Agnew (about the press, 1970)
Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.
- - - Henry VanDyke
Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.
- - - Jackie Gleason
Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the
ability to write.
- - - A. E. Housman
Reader, suppose you were an idiot; and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I
repeat myself.
- - - Mark Twain
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
- - - -Moses Hadas
The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character.
- - - Lyndon Johnson
This is not a book that should be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with
great force.
- - - Dorothy Parker
This is one of those big, fat paperbacks, intended to while away a monsoon or two,
which, if thrown with a good overarm action, will bring a water buffalo to its
knees.
- - - Nancy Banks-Smith (review of M.M. Kaye's "The Far Pavillions")
What is art? Prostitution.
Charles Baudelaire
Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty.
- - - Lillian Hellman
You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad
breeding, and a vulgar manner.
- - - Aristophanes
Insults about personality
A dork is a dork is a dork.
- - - Judy Markey
Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep.
- - - Dennis Healy
Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a
whipped dog.
- - - Harold Wilson
Failure has gone to his head.
- - - Wilson Mizner
God was bored by him.
- - - Victor Hugo
Greater love hath no man than this, to lay down his friends for his life.
- - - Jeremy Thorpe
He could never see a belt without hitting below it.
- - - Margot Asquith
He had delusions of adequacy.
- - - Walter Kerr
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- - - Winston Churchill
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- - - Oscar Wilde
He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.
- - - David Lloyd George
He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front.
- - - Leonard Louis Levinson
He is a man of splendid abilities but utterly corrupt. He shines and stinks like
rotten mackerel by moonlight.
- - - John Randolph
He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
- - - John Bright
He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.
- - - Herbert Beerbohm Tree
He is as good as his word - and his word is no good.
- - - Seamus MacManus
He is mad, bad and dangerous to know.
- - - Lady Caroline Lamb
He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
- - - Samuel Johnson
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- - - H. H. Munro
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
- - - Paul Keating
He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.
- - - Eugene Field
He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease.
- - - Henry James
He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.
- - - Percival Wilde
He makes a July's day short as December.
- - - William Shakespeare
He must have killed a lot of men to have made so much money.
- - - Moliere
He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged.
- - - Simone Signoret
He was a bit like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold and sharp.
- - - Kate Cruise O'Brien
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was
waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
- - - Mark Twain
He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep.
- - - Dorothy Eden
He was as great as a man can be without morality.
- - - Alexis de Tocqueville
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- - - Victor Borge
He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met.
- - - William Faulkner
He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power
to use them.
- - - Charles Kingsley
He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin.
- - - Dorothy L. Sayers
He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
- - - Molly Ivins
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.
- - - Fred Allen
He was trying to save both his faces.
- - - John Gunther
He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone.
- - - Oscar Wilde
He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.
- - - Earl Wilson
He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.
- - - Mae West
He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
- - - Wilson Mizner
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
- - - Margot Asquith
I will always love the false image I had of you.
- - - Ashleigh Brilliant
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead
horse.
- - - Woody Allen
In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.
- - - Charles, Count Talleyrand
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty
little beast.
- - - W. S. Gilbert
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
- - - Oscar Wilde
Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid.
- - - Heinrich Heine
She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did.
- - - Ada Leverson
She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of
people.
- - - Robertson Davies
She is such a good friend that she would throw all her acquaintances into the water
for the pleasure of fishing them out again.
- - - Charles Talleyrand
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.
- - - Margot Asquith
She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.
- - - Jean Webster
She never was really charming till she died.
- - - Terence
She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.
- - - Michael Arlen
She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a
channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.
- - - W. Somerset Maugham
She proceeds to dip her little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to
squirt the mixture at all her friends.
- - - Harold Nicholson
She should get a divorce and settle down.
- - - Jack Paar
She was kind of girl who'd eat all your cashews and leave you with nothing but
peanuts and filberts.
- - - Raymond Chandler
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
- - - Alexander Woollcott
She's been on more laps than a napkin.
- - - Walter Winchell
She's got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together.
- - - John Cantu
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
- - - Joan Rivers
She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong.
- - - Mae West
She's the sort of woman who lives for others -- you can tell the others by their
hunted expression.
- - - C. S. Lewis
So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
- - - Alan Bennett
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- - - Oscar Wilde
Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
- - - Tobias George Smolett
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee later than others.
- - - Kin Hubbard
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have
mediocrity thrust upon them.
- - - Joseph Heller "Catch-22"
That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
- - - Dorothy Parker
The finest woman that ever walked the streets.
- - - Mae West
The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.
- - - William Keegan
The perfection of rottenness.
- - - William James
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
- - - George Jean Nathan
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power
of speech.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
There but for the grace of God, goes God.
- - - Winston Churchill
There goes the famous good time that was had by all.
- - - Bette Davis
Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles.
- - - Jack London
You are so pure in mind and heart,
In aspect, too, so mild,
I wonder that you ever could
Implant your wife with child.
- - - Martial
You had to stand in line to hate him.
- - - Hedda Hopper
You have a good and kind soul. It just doesn't match the rest of you.
- - - Norm Papernick
You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take
the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.
- - - Mark Twain
You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
- - - Wilson Mizner
You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped
coffin.
- - - Joe Orton
Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.
- - - Frederic Raphael
Miscellaneous curmudgeonly comments
A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.
- - - Louis Nizer
A steaming pile of clich�s and screaming unlikelihoods.
- - - Jessica Winters (about the movie�Hostage)
As entertaining as watching a potato bake.
- - - Marc Savlov (about the movie,�Taxi)
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
- - - Groucho Marx
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
- - - Oscar Levant
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- - - Winston Churchill
Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.
- - - Jonathan Swift
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with
laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
- - - Groucho Marx
Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
- - - Neil Simon
He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.
- - - Eddie Cantor
He looked as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
- - - Raymond Chandler
He's completely unspoiled by failure.
- - - Noel Coward
He's liked, but he's not well liked.
- - - Arthur Miller
Here's where we we get out the thesaurus and look up synonyms for "garbage."�
- - - Mike LaSalle (about the movie,�Shanghai Knights)
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
- - - Mae West
I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
- - - Steven Pearl
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance
with the cows until you come home.�
- - - Groucho Marx
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions
in sight.
- - - Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- - - Mark Twain
I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- - - Stephen Bishop
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- - - Clarence Darrow
I never liked him and I always will.
- - - Dave Clark
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- - - Fred Allen
I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson
I thought men like that shot themselves.
- - - King George V
I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.
- - - Irving Brecher (Marx Bros. "At the Circus")
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- - - Groucho Marx
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- - - Irvin S. Cobb
If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- - - Charles Pierce
In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority.
- - - Ellen Glascow
I've had them both, and I don't think much of either.
- - - Beatrix Lehmann (watching a Hollywood wedding.)
Lacks thrills, narrative, emotion, believability, character development, and,
frankly, watchability.�
- - - Aaron Hillis (about the movie,�Elektra)

Also ...
Devotees of awful filmmaking can't go wrong with this one.�
- - - Michael Wilmington (about the movie,�Elektra)
Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life.
- - - Ivy Compton-Burnett
She's good, being gone.
- - - William Shakespeare
Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.
- - - William Dean Howells
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- - - Ashleigh Brilliant
The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.
- - - Jackie Gleason
The characters are so flat and the dialogue so dull you expect it to be one of
those movies whose existence is justified by a big final twist. But it's three days
after the screening, and still no twist. Maybe it's coming in the mail?
- - - Kyle Smith (about the movie,�The Jacket)
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- - - Aristotle
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
- - - Joseph Stilwell
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
- - - Jack E. Leonard
They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he
should be castrated anyway.
- - - Hunter S. Thompson
We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
- - - Ashleigh Brilliant
Well, I think we ought to let him hang there. Let him twist slowly, slowly in the
wind.
- - - John Ehrlichman
What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.
- - - Liberace
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
- - - Milton Berle
Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
- - - Groucho Marx
You have delighted us long enough.
- - - Jane Austen
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
- - - Jim Samuels
You're a parasite for sore eyes.
- - - Gregory Ratoff

great writing quotes

Excluding poetry and song lyrics, the following quotations are the best examples of
beautiful writing Brain Candy collector has found from many sources.
Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are
so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two
caraway seeds and an agent's heart.
- - - Fred Allen, CoEvolution Quarterly, Winter, 1977
Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your
heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest
thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful conditions, all heavenly
environment; of these if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be
built.
- - - James Allen
But, O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those
they loved, I shall always be near you; In the gladdest days and in the darkest
nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it
shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my
spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee,
for we shall meet again.
- - - Major Sullivan Ballou, to his wife, a week before his death in 1861, during
the Civil War
A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home-ground, home-made, that comes to
you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream
that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow,
perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a coffee is a match
for twenty blue devils, and will exorcise them all.�
- - - Henry Ward Beecher "Eyes and Ears"
On Broadway it was still bright afternoon and the gassy air was almost motionless
under the leaden spokes of sunlight, and sawdust footprints lay about the doorways
of butcher shops and fruit stores. And the great, great crowd, the inexhaustible
current of millions of every race and kind pouring out, pressing round, of every
age, of every genius, possessors of every human secret, antique and future, in
every face the refinement of one particular motive or essence -- I labor, I spend,
I strive, I design, I love, I cling, I uphold, I give way, I envy, I long, I scorn,
I die, I hide, I want. Faster, much faster than any man could make the tally. The
sidewalks were wider than any causeway; the street itself was immense, and it
quaked and gleamed and it seemed ... to throb at the last limit of endurance.
- - - Saul Bellow "Seize the Day"
Son of man, keep not silent, forget not deeds of tyranny. Cry out at the disaster
of a people, recount it unto your children and they unto theirs. From generation to
generation the hordes swept in, ran wild and savage and there was no deliverance,
valiance, and revolt. How the mighty are fallen, the great in spirit and stout of
heart, walking to their death with a halo of eternity.
- - - Yehuda L. Bialer (reference to the Holocaust)
There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye
first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays
around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals
over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a
while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose,
then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell,
then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it
lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from.
- - - Josh Billings
To see a hillside white with dogwood bloom is to know a particular ecstasy of
beauty, but to walk the gray Winter woods and find the buds which will resurrect
that beauty in another May is to partake of continuity.
- - - Hal Borland, New York Times, November 28, 1948
The true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilacs opening, ship
lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's
Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it
being the earth and water of existence, memory.
- - - Truman Capote "Other Voices, Other Rooms"
Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by
the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once
they were filled with the beauty of bird song.
- - - Rachel Carson, "The Silent Spring," 1962
We were taken to a fast-food caf� where our order was fed into a computer. Our
hamburger, made from the flesh of chemically impregnated cattle, had been broiled
over counterfeit charcoal, placed between slices of artificially flavored cardboard
and served to us by recycled juvenile delinquents.
- - - Jean Michel Chapereau, "Un Hiver Am�ricain"
Turn pimp, flatterer, quack, lawyer, parson, be chaplain to an atheist, or stallion
to an old woman, anything but a poet; for a poet is worse, more servile, timorous
and fawning than any I have named.
- - - William Congreve
[In 1889] the last big tract of Indian land was declared open for settlement, in
Oklahoma. The claimants and the speculators mounted their horses and lined up like
trotters waiting for a starting gun. The itchy ones jumped the gun and were ever
after known as Sooners -- and Oklahoma was thereafter called the Sooner State.
- - - Alistair Cooke, "America," 1973
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a
buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and
loses itself in the sunset.
- - - Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890
The hair was a Vaseline cathedral, the mouth a touchingly uncertain sneer of
allure. One, two-wham! Like a berserk blender the lusty young pelvis whirred and
the notorious git-tar slammed forward with a jolt that symbolically deflowered a
generation of teenagers and knocked chips off 90 million older shoulders. Then out
of the half-melted vanilla face a wild black baritone came bawling in orgasmic
lurches. Whu-huh-huh-huh f'the money! Two f'the show! Three t'git riddy naa GO CAAT
GO!
- - - Brad Darrach, on Elvis Presley, Life, Winter, 1977
When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand
pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And
now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to
be one fairy for every boy or girl.
- - - James Matthew Barrie "Peter Pan"
They were ravished with its loveliness; a warm, soft-voiced spring-green landscape
dotted with sassafras and scarlet-colored snakewood, smelling of wild strawberries
and hart's tongue.
- - - Marshall Fishwick, "Virginia: A New Look at the Old Dominion," 1959
The human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out a tune for a
dancing bear, when we hope with our music to move the stars.
- - - Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary
Most marvelous and enviable is that fecundity of fancy which can adorn whatever it
touches, which can invest naked fact and dry reasoning with unlooked for beauty,
make flowers bloom even on the brow of the precipice.
- - - Margaret Fuller
I have a most peaceable disposition. My desires are for a modest hut, a thatched
roof, but a good bed, good food, very fresh milk and butter, flowers in front of my
window and a few pretty trees by my door. And should the good Lord wish to make me
really happy, he will allow me the pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my
enemies hanged upon those trees.
- - - Heinrich Heine
When the moon shall have faded out from the sky, and the sun shall shine at noonday
a dull cherry red, and the seas shall be frozen over, and the icecap shall have
crept downward to the equator from either pole . . . when all the cities shall have
long been dead and crumbled into dust, and all life shall be on the last verge of
extinction on this globe; then, on a bit of lichen, growing on the bald rocks
beside the eternal snows of Panama, shall be seated a tiny insect, preening its
antennae in the glow of the worn-out sun, the sole survivor of animal life on this
our earth -- a melancholy bug.
- - - William Jacob Holland "The Moth Book" 1903
A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living
thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances
and the time in which it is used.
- - - Oliver Wendell Holmes, opinion, Towne v. Eisner, January 7, 1918
Melting pot Harlem -- Harlem of honey and chocolate and caramel and rum and vinegar
and lemon and lime and gall ... where the subway from the Bronx keeps right on
downtown.
- - - Langston Hughes, Freedomways, Summer, 1963
To believe in a child is to believe in the future. Through their aspirations they
will save the world. With their combined knowledge the turbulent seas of hate and
injustice will be calmed. They will champion the causes of life's underdogs,
forging a society without class discrimination. They will supply humanity with
music and beauty as it has never known. They will endure. Towards these ends I
pledge my life's work. I will supply the children with tools and knowledge to
overcome the obstacles. I will pass on the wisdom of my years and temper it with
patience. I shall impact in each child the desire to fulfill his or her dream. I
shall teach.
- - - Henry James
Somewhere there was once a Flower, a Stone, a Crystal, a Queen, a King, a Palace, a
Lover and his Beloved, and this was long ago, on an Island somewhere in the ocean
5,000 years ago ... Such is Love, the Mystic Flower of the Soul. This is the
Center, the Self.
- - - Carl Jung
When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When
power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and
diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses, for art
establishes the basic human truths which must serve as the touchstone of our
judgment.
- - - John F. Kennedy- Address, Amherst College, October 26, 1963
It is widely rumored, and also true, that I wrote my first novel in a closet.
Before I get all rapturous and carried away here, I had better admit to that. The
house was tiny; I was up late at night typing while another person slept, and there
just wasn't any other place for me to go but that closet. The circumstances were
extreme. And if I have to -- if the Furies should take my freedom or my sight --
I'll go back to writing in the dark. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, writers will
go to stupefying lengths to get the infernal roar of words out of their skulls and
onto paper.
- - -�Barbara Kingsolver, Small Wonder
It was cold out there, bitter, biting, cutting, piercing, hyperborean, marmoreal
cold, and there were all these Minnesotans running around outdoors, happy as lambs
in the spring.
- - - Charles Kuralt, Dateline America, 1979
I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark burn out in a
brilliant blaze than it be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
- - - Jack London, 1916
Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was
cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On
some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some
of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.
- - - Norman Maclean
A political convention is after all not a meeting of a corporation's board of
directors; it is a fiesta, a carnival, a pig-rooting, horse-snorting, band-playing,
voice-screaming medieval get-together of greed, practical lust, compromised
idealism, career-advancement, meeting, feud, vendetta, conciliation, of rabble-
rousers, fist fights (as it used to be), embraces, drunks (again as it used to be)
and collective rivers of animal sweat.
- - - Norman Mailer "Some Honorable Men: Political Conventions"
New York is one of the capitals of the world and Los Angeles is a constellation of
plastic, San Francisco is a lady, Boston has become Urban Renewal, Philadelphia and
Baltimore and Washington wink like dull diamonds in the smog of Eastern
Megalopolis, and New Orleans is unremarkable past the French Quarter. Detroit is a
one-trade town, Pittsburgh has lost its golden triangle, St. Louis has become the
golden arch of the corporation, and nights in Kansas City close early. The oil
depletion allowance makes Houston and Dallas naught but checkerboards for this sort
of game. But Chicago is a great American city. Perhaps it is the last of the great
American cities.
- - - Norman Mailer, "Miami and the Siege of Chicago," 1968
The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in
the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool
that nobody's fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the
mind.
- - - Katherine Mansfield
There are some people who read too much: The bibliobibuli. I know some who are
constantly drunk on books, as others are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander
through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and
hearing nothing.
- - - H. L. Mencken
We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down
alleyways to beat them unconscious and riffle their pockets for new vocabulary.�
- - - James D. Nicoll
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we
often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or
cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and
tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or
confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can
tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our
powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.�
- - - Henri Nouwen "Out of Solitude"
Down it came, the blessed deluge. The music of rain splashing on tents and tin
sheds drove men to an ecstasy of rejoicing. They turned out to cheer; lifted up
their faces and opened their mouths to drink the bright drops; danced round,
hallooing and shouting, getting drenched in the downpour.
- - - Katherine Susannah Prichard "The Roaring Nineties" (1946)
Hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you're
brown, you'll find out you're blue. As blue as indigo. And you know what that
means. Indigo. Indigoing. Indigone.
- - - Tom Robbins
Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a
million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear
into the endless night forever.
- - - Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross, "On Death and Dying," 1969
In the dark colony of night, when I consider man's magnificent capacity for malice,
madness, folly, envy, rage, and destructiveness, and I wonder whether we shall not
end up as breakfast for newts and polyps, I seem to hear the muffled cries of all
the words in all the books with covers closed.
- - - Leo Rosten
Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air.
Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the
unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they
go away.
- - - Carl Sandburg "Poetry Considered"
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most
delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will
remain in that exalted, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death
do them part.
- - - George Bernard Shaw "Getting Married" (1908)
But why wasn't I born, alas, in an age of Adjectives; why can one no longer write
of silver-shedding Tears and moon-tailed Peacocks, of eloquent Death, of the Negro
and star-enameled Night?
- - - Logan Pearsall Smith, "More Trivia: Adjectives", 1921
He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has
enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of
small children; who has filled his niche, and accomplished his task; who has left
the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or
a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty , or failed to
express it; who has always looked for the best in others, and given them the best
he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.�
- - - Bessie Anderson Stanley (Prize-winning definition in a contest sponsored by
Brown Book Magazine, Boston, 1904)
Courage is not limited to the battlefield or to the Indianapolis 500 or bravely
catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are...the inner tests,
like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is
empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood, like fighting for what is
right even when you know you are going to lose.
- - - Charles R. Swindoll "Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life"
He looked like the love thoughts of women. He could be a bee to a blossom�a pear
tree blossom in the spring. He seemed to be crushing scent out of the world with
his footsteps. Crushing aromatic herbs with every step he took. Spices hung about
him. He was a glance from God.
- - - Zora Neale Hurston "Their Eyes Were Watching God"
If we hadn't our bewitching autumn foliage, we should still have to credit the
weather with one feature which compensates for all its bullying vagaries-the ice-
storm: when a leafless tree is clothed with ice from the bottom to the top -- ice
that is as bright and clear as crystal; when every bough and twig is strung with
ice-beads, frozen dew-drops, and the whole tree sparkles cold and white, like the
Shah of Persia's diamond plume. Then the wind waves the branches and the sun comes
out and turns all those myriads of beads and drops to prisms that glow and burn and
flash with all manner of colored fires, which change and change again with
inconceivable rapidity from blue to red, from red to green, and green to gold-the
tree becomes a spraying fountain, a very explosion of dazzling jewels; and it
stands there the acme, the climax, the supremest possibility in art or nature, of
bewildering, intoxicating, intolerable magnificence. One cannot make the words too
strong.
- - - Mark Twain
This is the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the
most satisfying to the eye and spirit. To see the sun sink down, drowned in his
pink and purple and golden floods, and overwhelm Florence with tides of color that
make all the sharp lines dim and faint and turn the solid city to a city of dreams,
is a sight to stir the coldest nature, and make a sympathetic one drunk with
ecstasy.
- - - Mark Twain "Autobiography," 1924
When you long with all your heart for someone to love you, a madness grows there
that shakes all sense from the trees and the water and the earth. And nothing lives
for you, except the long deep bitter want. And this is what everyone feels from
birth to death.
- - - Denton Welch
I cannot just heave everything I know into the abyss. But I know it is coming. And
when it comes, when I have made my sacrificial offerings to the gods of
understanding, then the ruptures will cease. Healing waters will cover the land,
giving birth to new life, burying forever the ancient, rusting machines of my past
understandings. And on those waters I will set sail to places I now only imagine.
There I will be blessed with new visions and new magic. I will feel once again like
a creative contributor to this mysterious world. But for now, I wait. An act of
faith. Land ho.
- - - Margaret Wheatly "A Simpler Way"
We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze
of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these
great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days
till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who
sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.
- - - Woodrow Wilson
A tearing wind last night. A flurry of red clouds, hard, a water colour mass of
purple and black, soft as a water ice, then hard slices of intense green stone,
blue stone and a ripple of crimson light.
- - - Virginia Woolf, in her diary, August 17, 1938

PROVERBS A-L
A bad cause requires many words.�
German Proverb
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.
�Arab Proverb
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush.
�English Proverb
A broken hand works, but not a broken heart.
�Persian Proverb
A cat has nine lives.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
A clear conscience is a soft pillow.
�German Proverb
A close friend can become a close enemy.�
�Ethiopian Proverb
A closed mouth catches no flies.
�Italian Proverb
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
�German Proverb
A courtyard common to all will be swept by none.
�Chinese Proverb
A dimple on the chin, the devil within.�
�Gaelic Proverb
A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master.�
�Russian Proverb
A drink precedes a story.
�Irish Proverb
A drowning man is not troubled by rain.
�Persian Proverb
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.
�William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
A forest is in an acorn.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
A friend in need is a friend indeed
�English Proverb
A friend's eye is a good mirror.
�Irish Proverb
A good denial, the best point in law.
�Irish Proverb
A good husband is healthy and absent.
�Japanese Proverb
A hard beginning maketh a good ending.�
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
A healthy man is a successful man.
�French Proverb
A hedge between keeps friendship green.
�French Proverb
A hen is heavy when carried far.
�Irish Proverb
A hound's food is in its legs.
�Irish Proverb
A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.
�Portuguese Proverb
A hungry man is an angry man.
�English Proverb
A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on.
�French Proverb
A little too late, is much too late.
�German Proverb
A loan though old is not gift.
�Hungarian Proverb
A lock is better than suspicion.
�Irish Proverb
A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks its man.
�Turkish Proverb
A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal.
�Yiddish Proverb
A man may well bring a horse to the water, but he cannot make him drink.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity.
�Yiddish Proverb
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly.
�Haitian Proverb
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners.
�Irish Proverb
A penny for your thoughts.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
A penny saved is a penny gained.
�Scottish Proverb
A poor beauty finds more lovers than husbands.
�English Proverb
A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener.
�Hungarian Proverb
A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths.�
�Chinese proverb
A silent mouth is melodious.
�Irish Proverb
A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole.�
�Traditional Russian Saying
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall
never sit in.
�Greek Proverb
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
�Bible - Proverbs 15:1.
A son is a son till he gets him a wife,
But a daughter's a daughter the rest of your life.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom.
�Welsh Proverb
A table is not blessed if it has fed no scholars.
�Yiddish Proverb
A teacher is better than two books.
�German Proverb
A thief believes everybody steals.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom.
�Chinese proverb
A throne is only a bench covered with velvet.
�French Proverb
A trade not properly learned is an enemy.
�Irish Proverb
A tree falls the way it leans.
�Bulgarian Proverb
A white Christmas fills the churchyard.
�French Proverb
A wise man hears one word and understands two.
�Yiddish Proverb
A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.
�Chinese Proverb
A woman has the form of an angel, the heart of a serpent, and the mind of an ass.
�German Proverb
A worthy woman is far more precious than jewels, strength and dignity are her
clothing.
�Bible - Proverbs 31
Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill.
�Danish Proverb
Advice should be viewed from behind.
�Swedish Proverb
Advice when most needed is least heeded.
�English Proverb
After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers.�
�Albanian Saying
Age is honorable and youth is noble.
�Irish Proverb
All is well that ends well.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
All things grow with time, except grief.
�Yiddish Proverb
An angry man is not fit to pray.
�Yiddish Proverb
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
An ass in Germany is a professor in Rome.�
�Traditional German Saying
An enemy will agree, but a friend will argue.
�Russian Proverb
An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea.
�Turkish Proverb
An ox remains an ox, even if driven to Vienna.
�Hungarian Proverb
And old rat is a brave rat.
�French Proverb
Anger can be an expensive luxury.
�Italian Proverb
Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest.
�Malabar Proverb
Anger without power is folly.
�German Proverb
Appetite comes with eating.
�French Proverb
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
�Bible - Proverbs 26:11
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.�
�Bible - Proverbs 23:7
As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
�Bible - Proverbs 25:25.
As mad as a March hare.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
As proud as a peacock.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
As sluttish and slatternly as an Irishwoman bred in France.�
�Traditional Irish Saying
As the best wine makes the sharpest vinegar, the truest lover may turn into the
worst enemy.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
As the big hound is, so will the pup be.
�Irish Proverb
As we live, so we learn.
�Yiddish Proverb
Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.
�Irish Proverb
Beggars shouldn't be choosers.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Better give a penny then lend twenty.
�Italian Proverb
Better late than never.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Better no doctor at all than three.
�Polish Proverb
Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.
�English Proverb
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
�Chinese Proverb
Better wear out shoes than sheets.
�Scottish Proverb
Between the devil and the deep blue sea.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Beware of a silent dog and still water.
�German Proverb
Black as hell, strong as death, sweet as love. (About coffee.)
�Turkish proverb
Blood is thicker than water.
�English Proverb (17th�Century)
Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.
�Irish Proverb
Butter would not melt in her mouth.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.�
�Indian Proverb
Children are poor men's riches.
�English Proverb
Children should be seen and not heard.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Children suck the mother when they are young and the father when they are old.
�English Proverb.
Choose neither a woman nor linen by candlelight.
�Italian Proverb
Climb mountains to see lowlands.
�Chinese Proverb
Clogs to clogs in three generations.
�English Proverb
Clouds gather before a storm.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Commit a sin twice and it will not seem a crime.
�Jewish Saying
Curiosity killed the cat.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse.
�Japanese Proverb
Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
�Chinese Proverb
Death always comes too early or too late
�English Proverb
Death closes all doors.
�English Proverb
Death pays all debts.
�English Proverb
Did hogs feed here or did Lithuanians have a feast here?�
�Traditional Polish Saying
Do not be born good or handsome, but be born lucky.
�Russian Proverb
Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given
it wings.
�Indian Proverb
Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.
�African proverb
Do not rejoice at my grief, for when mine is old, yours will be new.
�Spanish Proverb
Do not speak of secrets in a field that is full of little hills.
�Hebrew Proverb
Do not talk Arabic in the house of a Moor.
�Oriental Proverb
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
�Chinese Proverb
Don't imitate the fly before you have wings.
�French Proverb
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Eat well, drink in moderation, and sleep sound, in these three good health abound.
�Latin Proverb
Epigrams succeed where epics fail.
�Persian Proverb
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his
lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
�Bible - Proverbs 17:28
Even a small thorn causes festering.
�Irish Proverb
Every ass loves to hear himself bray.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Every cloud has a silver lining.
�English Proverb
Every dog hath its day.
�English Proverb
Every garden may have some weeds.
�English Proverb
Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven.
�Yiddish proverb
Everyone loves justice in the affairs of another.
�Italian Proverb
Everyone pushes a falling fence.
�Chinese Proverb
Evil enters like a needle and spreads like an oak tree.
�Ethiopian Proverb
Evil is sooner believed than good.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald.
�Eastern Proverb
Fame is a magnifying glass.
�English Proverb
Feather by feather the goose can be plucked.
�French Proverb
Fine feathers make fine birds.
�English Proverb
Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies.
�Spanish Proverb
Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow.
�French Proverb
Fortune is blind, but not invisible.
�French Proverb
Friends are like fiddle strings, they must not be screwed too tight.
�English Proverb
Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom.
�French Proverb
Friendship is a furrow in the sand.
�Tongan Proverb
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat
forever.
�Chinese Proverb
Give neither counsel nor salt till you are asked for it.
�Italian Proverb
Give the devil his due.
�English Proverb
Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth.
�French Proverb
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
�Jewish Proverb
God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them.
�German proverb
God heals, and the physician takes the fee.
�French Proverb
God help the rich man, let the poor man beg!
�Old English Proverb
God help the rich, the poor can look after themselves.
�Old English Proverb
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
�Chinese Proverb
Good advice is often annoying, bad advice never.
�French Proverb
Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.
�Irish Proverb
Good luck beats early rising.
�Irish Proverb
Gray hairs are death's blossoms.
�English Proverb
Half a loaf is better than none.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Haste makes waste.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Have a horse of your own and then you may borrow another's.
�Welsh Proverb
He is not wise that is not wise for himself.
�English Proverb
He lied like an eyewitness.�
�Russian Insult
He makes his home where the living is best.
�Latin Proverb
He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good.
�Jewish Proverb
He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned.
�French Proverb (14th century)
He that is rich will not be called a fool.
�Spanish Proverb
He that lives on hope will die fasting.
�North American Proverb
He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.
�Bible - Proverbs 28:20.
He that marries for money will earn it.
�American Proverb
He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses.
�English Proverb
He that seeks trouble never misses.
�English Proverb (17th century)
He that spareth his rod hateth his son.�
�Bible - Proverbs 24
He that winna be ruled by the rudder maun be ruled by the rock.
�Scottish Proverb
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool
forever.
�Chinese proverb
He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them.
�Chinese proverb
He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you
�Irish Proverb
He who could foresee affairs three days in advance would be rich for thousands of
years.
�Chinese Proverb
He who does not know one thing knows another.
�Kenyan Proverb
He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.
�Irish Proverb
He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.
�Arabian Proverb
He who has once burnt his mouth always blows his soup.
�German Proverb
He who holds the ladder is as bad as the thief.
�German Proverb
He who knows nothing, doubts nothing.
�Spanish Proverb
He who leaps high must take a long run.
�Danish Proverb
He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount.
�Chinese Proverb
He who serves two masters has to lie to one.
�Portuguese Proverb
He who sups with the devil has need of a long spoon.
�English Proverb
He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom.
�English Proverb
He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along.�
�Traditional German Saying
He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.
�William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
Heaven lent you a soul Earth will lend a grave.
�Chinese Proverb
Honesty is the best policy.
�English Proverb
How many will listen to the truth when you tell them?
�Yiddish Proverb
Hygiene is two thirds of health.
�Lebanese Proverb
If a man be great, even his dog will wear a proud look.
�Japanese Proverb
If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me.
�Italian Proverb
If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over.
�Yiddish Proverb
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
�Jewish Proverb
If rich people could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a
wonderful living.
�Yiddish Proverb
If the patient dies, the doctor has killed him, but if he gets well, the saints
have saved him.
�Italian Proverb
If two men ride a horse, one must ride behind.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant
trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people.
�Chinese Proverb
If you believe everything you read, better not read.
�Japanese proverb
If you bow at all bow low.
�Chinese Proverb
If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn.
�Irish Proverb
If you love him, don't lend him.
�Polish Proverb
If you take big paces you leave big spaces.
�Burmese Proverb
If you want to be criticized, marry.
�Irish Proverb
If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir.
�Romanian Proverb
If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words.
�Chinese Proverb
In a calm sea every man is a pilot.
�Spanish Proverb
In America half an hour is forty minutes.
�German Proverb
In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.
�Greek Proverb
In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.
�French Proverb
Instinct is stronger than upbringing.
�Irish Proverb
It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself.
�Irish Proverb
It is a bold mouse that nestles in the cat's ear.
�English Proverb
It is a long road that has no turning.
�Irish Proverb
It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody.
�English Proverb (18th century)
It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
It is better to be a male for one day than a female for ten.
�Kurdish Proverb
It is better to be born a beggar than a fool.
�Spanish Proverb
It is better to conceal one's knowledge than to reveal one's ignorance.
�Spanish Proverb
It is better to exist unknown to the law.
�Irish Proverb
It is better to sit down than to stand, it is better to lie down than to sit, but
death is the best of all. (About laziness)
�Indian Proverb
It is hard to pay for bread that has been eaten.
�Danish Proverb
It is not a secret if it is known by three people.
�Irish Proverb
It is not enough to run, one must start in time.
�French Proverb
It is not fish until it is on the bank.
�Irish Proverb
It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.
�Russian proverb
It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for.
�Irish Proverb
It is the good horse that draws its own cart.
�Irish Proverb
It is the quiet pigs that eat the meal.
�Irish Proverb
It takes time to build castles. Rome wan not built in a day.
�Irish Proverb
It's an ill wind that blows no good.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a
while.
�Irish Proverb
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.
�Chinese Proverb
Keep a thing for seven years and you'll find a use for it.
�Irish Proverb
Kill not the goose that lays the golden eggs.
�English Proverb
Lack of resource has hanged many a person.
�Irish Proverb
Last ship, best ship.
�English Proverb
Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.
�Chinese Proverb
Lend your money and lose your friend.
�English Proverb
Let sleeping dogs lie.
�English Proverb
Let your heart guide your head in evil matters.
�Spanish Proverb
Life is a bridge. Cross over it, but build no house on it.
�Indian Proverb
Life without a friend is death without a witness.
�Spanish Proverb
Like a fish out of water.
�Latin Saying
Like a lame man's legs that hang limp is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.�
�Bible - Proverbs 26:7
Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout.
�Irish Proverb
Little pitchers have big ears.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Live with wolves, and you learn to howl.
�Spanish Proverb
Look before you leap.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Look down if you would know how high you stand.
�Yiddish Proverb
Love enters a man through his eyes, woman through her ears.
�Polish Proverb
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.�
�French Proverb
Love me, love my dog.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence.�
�Chinese proverb
Love, pain, and money cannot be kept secret; they soon betray themselves.
�Spanish Proverb
Luck has a slender anchorage.
�English Proverb

PROVERBS M-Z
Mad as a march hare.�
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Make hay while the sun shines.
�English Proverb
Mankind fears an evil man but heaven does not.
�Chinese Proverb
Many a friend was lost through a joke, but none was ever gained so.
�Czech Proverb
Many hands make light work.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
May as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.
�English Proverb
May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so
far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a
telescope.�
�Traditional Irish Curse
May the grass grow at your door and the fox build his nest on your hearthstone.�
May the light fade from your eyes, so you never see what you love.�
May your own blood rise against you, and the sweetest drink you take be the
bitterest cup of sorrow.�
May you die without benefit of clergy;�
May there be none to shed a tear at your grave, and may the hearthstone of hell be
your best bed forever.�
�Traditional Wexford Curse
May you have a bright future - as the chimney sweep said to his son.
�Irish Proverb
May you wander over the face of the earth forever, never sleep twice in the same
bed, never drink water twice from the same well, and never cross the same river
twice in a year.
�Traditional Gypsy Curse
May your every wish be granted.
�Ancient Chinese Curse
May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket.�
�Traditional Arab Curse
Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting.
�French Proverb
Mere words do not feed the friars.
�Irish Proverb
More grows in the garden than the gardener knows he has sown.
�Spanish Proverb
More things belong to marriage than four bare legs in a bed.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat.
�Irish Proverb
Necessity is the mother of invention.
�Irish Proverb
Necessity knows no law.
�Irish Proverb
Necessity never made a good bargain.
�North American Proverb
Need teaches a plan.
�Irish Proverb
Never cut what can be untied.
�Portuguese Proverb
Never love with all your heart, it only ends in breaking.
�English Proverb
Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.�
�Scottish Proverb
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today.
�English Proverb
Night is the mother of council.
�Latin Proverb
No man limps because another is hurt.
�Danish Proverb
No man ought to look a given horse in the mouth.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
No rose without a thorn, or a love without a rival.
�Turkish Proverb
No time like the present.
�English Proverb
Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow.
�Chinese Proverb
Not wine...men intoxicate themselves; Not vice...men entice themselves.
�Chinese Proverb
Nothing dries sooner than tears.
�Latin Proverb
Nothing is as burdensome as a secret.
�French Proverb
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
One beggar at the door is enough.
�French Proverb
One cannot shoe a running horse.
�Dutch Proverb
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
�English Proverb (17th century)
One flower will not make a garland.
�French Proverb
One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.
�Chinese Proverb
One good turn deserves another.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
One joy scatters a hundred griefs.�
�Chinese Proverb
One of these day is none of these days.
�English Proverb
One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune.
�Swedish Proverb
One swallow maketh not a summer.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
One woman never praises another.
�Estonian Proverb
Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches
�English Proverb
Out of the frying pan into the fire.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet.
�French Proverb
Patience is poultice for all wounds.
�Irish Proverb
Patience is the best medicine.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
People live in each other's shelter.
�Irish Proverb
Pigs might fly, but they are most unlikely birds.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Politics is a rotten egg; if broken, it stinks.�
�Russian proverb
Poor men seek meat for their stomach, rich men stomach for their meat.
�English Proverb
Power lasts ten years; influence not more than a hundred.
�Korean Proverb
Practice makes perfect.
�English Proverb
Praise the young and they will blossom
�Irish Proverb
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
�Bible - Proverbs 16:18
Procrastination is the thief of time.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Public before private and country before family.
�Chinese Proverb
Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat.
�Irish Proverb
Quiet people are well able to look after themselves.
�Irish Proverb
Rags to riches to rags.
�Lancastrian Proverb
Rain beats a leopard's skin, but it does not wash off the spots.
�Ashanti Proverb
Rats desert a sinking ship.
�French Proverb
Riches run after the rich, and poverty runs after the poor.
�French Proverb
Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth.
�Dutch Proverb
Rome was not built in a day.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
�English Proverb
Seek counsel of him who makes you weep, and not of him who makes you laugh.
�Arabic Proverb
Set a beggar on horseback, and he 'll out ride the Devil.
�German Proverb
Set a thief to catch a thief.
�English Proverb
Silence was never written down.
�Italian Proverb
Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get.
�Spanish Proverb
Sit a beggar at your table and he will soon put his feet on it.
�Russian Proverb
Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman and eight for a fool.
�English Proverb
Small children give you headache; big children heartache.
�Russian Proverb
Some people are masters of money, and some its slaves.
�Russian Proverb
Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time
I am being carried on great wings across the sky.�
�Ojibway Saying
Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short.
�English Proverb
Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them.
�English Proverb (17th century)
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
�Slovenian Proverb
Stars are not seen by sunshine.
�Spanish Proverb
Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
�Bible - Proverbs 9:17.
Sweet is the wine but sour is the payment.
�Irish Proverb
Take heed of enemies reconciled, and of meat twice boiled.
�English Proverb.
Take thy thoughts to bed with thee, for the morning is wiser than the evening.
�Russian Proverb
Talk of the devil and he is sure to appear.
�English Proverb
Tell me who you live with and I will tell you who you are.
�Spanish Proverb
Tell the truth and shame the devil.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
�Chinese Proverb
The best advice is found on the pillow.
�Danish Proverb
The best thing about a man is his dog.�
�French Proverb
The big thieves hang the little ones.
�Czech proverb
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk
carefully.�
�Russian proverb
The comforter's head never aches.
�Italian Proverb
The darkest hour is that before the dawn.
�English Proverb
The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail.
�Irish Proverb
The devil looks after his own.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
The devil seduced Eve in Italian. Eve mislead Adam in Bohemian. The Lord scolded
them both in German. Then the angel drove them from paradise in Hungarian.�
�Traditional Polish Saying
The fat is in the fire.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
�Chinese Proverb
The girl who can't dance says the band can't play.
�Yiddish Proverb
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
The great thieves lead away the little thieves.
�French Proverb
The green new broom sweepeth clean.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
The hole is more honorable than the patch.
�Irish Proverb
The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom no clock can measure.
�William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.�
�Yiddish Proverb
The jay bird don't rob his own nest.
�West Indies Proverb
The light heart lives long.
�Irish Proverb
The man who does not love a horse cannot love a woman.
�Spanish Proverb
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.
�Chinese Proverb
The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot.
�Irish Proverb
The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely.
�Irish Proverb
The moon is made of a green cheese.�
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
The more the merrier.�
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
The morning is wiser than the evening.
�Russian Proverb
The nail that sticks up will be hammered down.
�Japanese Proverb
The night rinses what the day has soaped.
�Swiss Proverb
The only good thing that comes from the east is the sun.�
�Traditional Portuguese Saying
The palest ink is better than the best memory.
�Chinese proverb
The pine stays green in winter...Wisdom in hardship.
�Chinese Proverb
The raggy colt often made a powerful horse.
�Irish Proverb
The reverse side also has a reverse side.
�Japanese proverb
The right man comes at the right time.
�Italian Proverb
The road to a friend's house is never long.
�Danish proverb
The Russian knows the way, yet he asks for directions.�
�Traditional German Saying
The sea has an enormous thirst and an insatiable appetite.
�French Proverb
The silent dog is the first to bite.
�German Proverb
The smallest thing outlives the human being.
�Irish Proverb
The Spaniard is a bad servant but a worse master.�
�Traditional English Saying
The sun will set without thy assistance.
�Hebrew Proverb
The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man.
�French Proverb
The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe.�
�Russian proverb
The tide tarrieth for no man.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
The tongue is more to be feared than the sword.
�Japanese Proverb
The tongue like a sharp knife...Kills without drawing blood.
�Chinese Proverb
The truth is not always what we want to hear.
�Yiddish Proverb
The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an
egg, the whole country is informed.
�Malay Proverb
The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches.
�Irish Proverb
The well fed does not understand the lean.
�Irish Proverb
The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion.
�Arabian Proverb
The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher.
�Chinese Proverb
The wise man sits on the hole in his carpet.
�Persian Proverb
The wolf loses his teeth, but not his inclinations.
�Spanish Proverb
The work praises the man.
�Irish Proverb
The world is a rose: smell it and pass it on to your friends.�
�Persian Proverb
The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey
�Irish Proverb
There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.
�Chinese Proverb
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
�French Proverb
There are only two types of Chinese -- those who give bribes and those who take
them.�
�Russian Proverb
There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing.
�French Proverb.
There is but one good mother-in-law and she is dead.
�English Proverb
There is honor even among thieves.
�English Proverb
There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave.
�Irish Proverb
There is no fireside like your own fireside
�Irish Proverb
There is no luck except where there is discipline.
�Irish Proverb
There is no need like the lack of a friend.
�Irish Proverb
There is no strength without unity.
�Irish Proverb
There is plenty of sound in an empty barrel.
�Russian Proverb
There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip.
�Greek Proverb
They who love most are least valued.
�English Proverb
Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.
�William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
Think with the wise but walk with the vulgar.
�German Proverb
Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness.
�Irish Proverb
Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground.
�Malay Proverb
Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst.
�Irish Proverb
Three Spaniards, four opinions.
�Spanish Proverb
Time is a great story teller.
�Irish Proverb
Time trieth truth.
�English Proverb
To be rich is not everything, but it certainly helps.
�Yiddish Proverb
To deny all, is to confess all.
�Spanish Proverb
To leave is to die a little.
�French Proverb
To lend is to buy a quarrel.
�Indian Proverb
To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming.
�English Proverb (18th century)
To teach is to learn.
�Japanese Proverb
To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.�
�Latin Proverb
To whom you tell your secrets, to him you resign your liberty.
�Spanish Proverb
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
�North American Saying
Tomorrow is a new day.
�English Proverb
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
�Spanish Proverb
Tomorrow never comes.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Trouble rides a fast horse.
�Italian Proverb
True nobility is in being superior to your previous self.�
�Hindustani Proverb
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
�Old Muslim Proverb
Truth and oil always come to the surface.
�Spanish Proverb
Truth has a handsome countenance but torn garments.
�German Proverb
Truth is the safest lie.
�Jewish Proverb
Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed.
�Bible - Proverbs 12:19
Truth will be out.
�Latin Proverb
Two heads are better than one.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Two shorten the road.
�Irish Proverb
Two thirds of the work is the semblance.
�Irish Proverb
Unless you enter the tiger's den you cannot take the cubs.
�Japanese Proverb
Visit your aunt, but not every day of the year.
�Spanish Proverb
Walk straight, my son - as the old crab said to the young crab.
�Irish Proverb
Want a thing long enough and you don't
�Chinese Proverb
War is death's feast.
�George Herbert "Outlandish Proverbs"
Water for oxen, wine for kings.
�Spanish Proverb
We'll never know the worth of water till the well go dry.
�Scottish Proverb
Went in one ear and out the other.�
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
What belongs to everybody belongs to nobody.
�Spanish Proverb
What breaks in a moment may take years to mend.
�Swedish proverb
What one knows it is sometimes useful to forget.
�Latin Proverb
What you can not avoid, welcome.
�Chinese Proverb
When a father helps a son, both smile; but when a son must help his father, both
cry.
�Jewish Proverb
When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak.
�Irish Proverb
When fire is applied to a stone it cracks.
�Irish Proverb
When fortune knocks upon the door open it widely.
�Spanish Proverb
When ill luck falls asleep, let none wake her.
�Italian Proverb
When its time has arrived, the prey becomes the hunter.
�Persian Proverb
When one dog barks another will join it.
�Latin Proverb
When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.
�Ethiopian proverb
When the apple is ripe it will fall.
�Irish Proverb
When the drop (drink) is inside, the sense is outside.
�Irish Proverb
When the iron is hot, strike.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
When the liquor was gone the fun was gone.
�Irish Proverb
When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
�Nigerian Proverb
When the sun shineth, make hay.
�John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
When the sword of rebellion is drawn, the sheath should be thrown away.
�English Proverb
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
�African Proverb
When there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.
�Chinese Proverb
When we sing everybody hears us, when we sigh nobody hears us.
�Russian Proverb
When you live next to the cemetery you cannot weep for everyone.
�Russian Proverb
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when
you die, the world cries and you rejoice.�
�Indian proverb
When your enemy falls, don't rejoice -- but don't pick him up either.
�Yiddish Proverb
Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is
safety.
�Bible - Proverbs 11:14.
Where the tongue slips, it speaks the truth.
�Irish Proverb
Where there is love there is pain.
�Spanish Proverb
Where there is no vision, the people perish.
�Bible - Proverbs 29:18
Where there's music there can be love.
�French Proverb
While the cat's away, the mice can play.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
Who begins too much accomplishes little.
�German proverb
Who knows most speaks least.
�Spanish Proverb
Who lies with dogs shall rise up with fleas.
�Latin Proverb
Wine divulges truth.
�Irish Proverb
Witches and harlots come out at night.
�English Proverb
With foxes we must play the fox.
�Proverb of Unknown Origin
With money you are a dragon; with no money, a worm.
�Chinese Proverb
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he
shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from
hell.
�Bible - Proverbs 23:13-14.
Without justice, courage is weak.
�North American Proverb
Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.
�Greek proverb
Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is but a vision. But today well lived makes
every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look
well, therefore, to This Day.
�Sanskrit Proverb
You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
�Irish Proverb
You cannot reason with a hungry belly; it has no ears.
�Greek Proverb
You cannot unscramble eggs.
�North American Proverb
You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs.
�Dutch Proverb
You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.�
�North American Proverb
You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me come and live
with me.
�Irish Proverb
Young men may die, old men must.
�English Proverb
Young wood makes a hot fire.
�Greek Proverb
Your health comes first; you can always hang yourself later.
�Yiddish Proverb
Your neighbor's apples are the sweetest.
�Yiddish Proverb
Youth does not mind where it sets its foot.
�Irish Proverb
Youth sheds many a skin. The steed (horse) does not retain its speed forever.
�Irish Proverb
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
�Irish Proverb

They lie about me

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
- - Yogi Berra
I am surprised at the way people seem to perceive me, and sometimes I read stories
and hear things about me and I go "ugh." I wouldn't like her either. It's so unlike
what I think I am or what my friends think I am.
- - Hillary Rodham Clinton
There was a lot of tabloid journalism about my supposed sex addiction. Bullshit.
It's all bullshit. I mean, come on, I never pretended to be a saint. But give me a
break.
- - Michael Douglas
Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
- - Mark Twain (Cable to the Associated Press on learning that his obituary had
been published.)

They're mean to me
I'm not Jacko, I'm Jackson... 'Wacko Jacko' - Where did that come from? Some
English tabloid. I have a heart and I have feelings. I feel that when you do that
to me, it's not nice.
- - Michael Jackson
I'm not an Uncle Tom. . .. I'm going to be here for 40 years. For those who don't
like it, get over it.
- - Clarence Thomas
People have been so busy relating to how I look, it's a miracle I didn't become a
self-conscious blob of protoplasm.
- - Robert Redford
People say I'm extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me,
who wants to be surrounded by garbage?
- - Imelda Marcos
I can't get no respect.
- - Rodney Dangerfield
They have vilified me, they have crucified me, yes, they have even criticized me.
- - Richard J. Daley
Just because I have my standards, they think I'm a bitch.
- - Diana Ross

They're unfair to me
If I make a move, like raise my eyebrows, some critic says I'm doing Nicholson.
What am I supposed to do, cut off my eyebrows?
- - Christian Slater
If I walked on water people would say I couldn't swim.
- - John Turner
The truth is, I've made about 30 movies in 30 years, and I've been criticized for
30 years for not making more movies.
- - Dustin Hoffman
If I would believe what I read about myself, I would hate my guts too.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's not easy to be as great as I am

Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and
bewildered.
- - Marilyn Monroe
Celebrity is a pretty stunning thing. At first I was like 'They love me! Oh, I love
them, too.' And suddenly, I was tap-dancing on my pedestal and it was whack!
Facedown in the dirt.
- - Sharon Stone, Oct. 14, 1994
It really isn't anybody's business how many people we have working for us. What's
offensive is that I'm portrayed as this prima donna with these sycophants telling
me how great I am all the time Yes, they do work for me, but we're working together
for a higher good.
- - Demi Moore
There are, I think, three countries left in the world where I can go and I'm not as
well-known as I am here. I'm a pretty big star, folks - I don't have to tell you.
Superstar, I guess you could say.
- - Bruce Willis (1998)
It's not that easy bein' green.
- - Kermit the Frog
I've sold too many books to get good reviews anymore. There's a lot of jealousy,
because [reviewers] think they can write a good novel or a best-seller and get
frustrated when they can't. I've learned to despise them.
- - John Grisham, April 1, 1994
Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.
- - Bob Dylan
My only regret in the theater is that I could never sit out front and watch me.
- - John Barrymore
People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally
famous genius.
- - Jerry Lewis
Sometimes I'm so sweet even I can't stand it.
- - Julie Andrews

My love life stinks

I've had diseases that lasted longer than my marriages.
- - Nell Carter
I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection.
- - Richard Lewis
If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.
- - Rodney Dangerfield
It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.
- - Joan Rivers
Sex is God's joke on human beings.
- - Bette Davis
The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I
think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life.
- - Glenda Jackson
I've never yet met a man who could look after me. I don't need a husband. What I
need is a wife.�
- - -Joan Collins
If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want
to have children" -- they leave skid marks.�
- - -Rita Rudner
The last time I was in a woman I was visiting the Statue of Liberty.
- - Woody Allen
You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case
your wife might cut your throat.
- - Mike Tyson

It's not easy to be a woman

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
- - -Dolly Parton (about herself)
A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put
you on hold.
- - Marlo Thomas
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood--Babe, District Attorney, and
Driving Miss Daisy.�
- -Goldie Hawn

And being gay isn't so easy, either

I've always said that if anyone ever thought I was straight they must need glasses
-- but when I finally came out and said, "Yes, I do sleep with men and I'm gay,"
yeah, I lost record sales. There's no question -- big, big time.
- - Boy George

I have a hard job

People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest
that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters
always end with, "Just joking." "
- - Dave Barry
Just standing around looking beautiful is so boring, really boring, so boring.
- - Michelle Pfeiffer
Sure the body count in this movie bothers me, but what are you gonna do? It's what
everybody likes. At least it's not an awful body count - it's a fun body count.
- - Bonnie Bedelia
On stage I make love to 25,000 people; then I go home alone.
- - Janis Joplin
People have this obsession. They want you to be like you were in 1969. They want
you to, because otherwise their youth goes with you.�
- - -Mick Jagger, 1993
I'll be dead by the time I'm forty.�
- - -Rod Stewart
One thing about being successful is that I stopped being afraid of dying. Once
you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed.
- - Dustin Hoffman, 1984
The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle
horse.
- - Jacqueline Kennedy
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
- - Joan Rivers
The more you stay in this kind of job, the more you realize that a public figure, a
major public figure, is a lonely man.
- - Richard M. Nixon
To become a celebrity is to become a brand name. There is Ivory Soap, Rice
Krispies, and Philip Roth. Ivory is the soap that floats; Rice Krispies the
breakfast cereal that goes snap-crackle-pop; Philip Roth the Jew who masturbates
with a piece of liver.
- - Philip Roth, 1981

I hate my job
I'd rather be dead than singing "Satisfaction" when I'm forty-five.
- - Mick Jagger
Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets
you oblivion.
- - Richard M. Nixon, 1988
It's a drag having to wear socks during matches, because the tan, like, stops at
the ankles. I can never get my skin, like, color coordinated.
- - Monica Seles
Sometimes I feel like an old hooker.
- - Cher
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes- and six months later you
have to start all over again.
- - Joan Rivers
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $50,000 for a kiss and 50 cents for your
soul.
- - Marilyn Monroe
We've become so glorified in the movie-star system that it's become this artificial
royalty. The truth is that we're circus clowns.�
-- Nicolas Cage
My attitude about Hollywood is that I wouldn't walk across the street to pull one
of those executives out of the snow if he was bleeding to death. Not unless I was
paid for it. None of them ever did me any favors.
- - James Woods

I guess I've overindulged at times

They shoulda called me Little Cocaine, I was sniffing so much of the stuff! My nose
got big enough to back a diesel truck in, unload it, and drive it right out again.
- - Little Richard
With every smell, I smell food. With every sight, I see food. I can almost hear
food. I want to spade the whole lot through my mouth at Mach 2. Basta!
- - Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York (1997)
I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.
- - Dean Martin
I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money.
- - -Marlon Brando, 1989
If I could live my life over again, there is one thing I would change. I would want
to be able to eat less.
- - Luciano Pavarotti
One more drink and I'll be under the host.
- - Dorothy Parker

Life is tough
Everything I want is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
- - Alexander Woollcott
Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.
- - Robert Redford
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun
at all.
- - Woody Allen
When I die, my epitaph should read: She Paid the Bills. That's the story of my
private life.
- - Gloria Swanson
The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
- - Bette Midler
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- - Andy Rooney

Life is not fair

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport.
- - Charles M. Schultz (Peanuts)
Every year back spring comes, with nasty little birds, yapping their fool heads
off.
- - Dorothy Parker
People want you to be a crazy, out-of-control teen brat. They want you miserable,
just like them. They don't want heroes; what they want is to see you fall.�
- -Leonardo DiCaprio
Spring makes everything look filthy.
- - Katherine Whitehorn
If I had any decency, I'd be dead. Most of my friends are.
- - Dorothy Parker
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- - Lily Tomlin

I had a dysfunctional family

We're an ideal political family, as accessible as Disneyland.
- - -Maureen Reagan
It was no great tragedy being Judy Garland's daughter. I had tremendously
interesting childhood years--except they had little to do with being a child.
- - -Liza Minnelli
I wouldn't have turned out the way I was if I didn't have all those old-fashioned
values to rebel against.
- - -Madonna (1992)
It really bothers me when I see people doing my mother in drag. I mean, just
imagine if you saw people doing that with your mother.
- - Chastity Bono
My family was so poor the lady next door gave birth to me.
- - - Lee Trevino
My looks aren't that great
I guess I look like a rock quarry that someone has dynamited.
- - Charles Bronson
I have a face like the behind of an elephant.
- - Charles Laughton
I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in
here when you're walking around like that?"
- - Robin Williams, about his body hair.
I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an
old clothes closet.
- - David Niven
My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.
- - W. H. Auden
I have eyes like those of a dead pig.
- - Marlon Brando
I'm not handsome in the classical sense. The eyes droop, the mouth is crooked, the
teeth aren't straight, the voice sounds like a mafioso pallbearer.
- - Sylvester Stallone
I have everything I had twenty years ago - except now it's all lower.
- - -Gypsy Rose Lee
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
- - Phyllis Diller
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep
enough. What do you want- an adorable pancreas?
- - Jean Kerr

I've made sacrifices

I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to
advance the political career of my husband.
- - Pat Nixon

Miscellaneous Complaints
Don't tell anyone. I'm supposed to be dumb.
- - Former supermodel Helena Christensen admits she can speak six languages
As far as I am concerned, being any gender is a drag.
- - Patti Smith
I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of vaginas. They bother me in the way that
spiders bother some people.
- - Boy George
I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there,
it's so petty.
- - Imelda Marcos
Moses dragged us through the desert to the one place in the Middle East where there
is no oil.
- - Golda Meir
I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put
it out.
- - Dolly Parton
Rock 'n Roll: The most brutal, ugly, desperate, vicious form of expression it has
been my misfortune to hear.
- - Frank Sinatra
Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk
for people who can't read.
--Frank Zappa
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
- - Phyllis Diller

And finally
Somebody's boring me I think it's me.�
- - -Dylan Thomas
You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last
press conference.
- - Richard Nixon, 1962

We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock,
get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody
clock.�
- - - - Dave Allen
When you reach forty you can�t do anything every day.
- - - - Henry �Hank� Aaron
When you are forty, half of you belongs to the past...
And when you are seventy, nearly all of you.
- - - - Jean Anouilh
I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons
illegitimate.
- - - - Lady Nancy Astor
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your
age.
- - - - Lucille Ball
If I were younger, I'd know more.
- - - - James Barrie
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of dreams.
- - - - John Barrymore, "Good Night, Sweet Prince" 1943
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
- - - - Bernard M. Baruch
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be.
The last of life, for which the first was made.
- - - - Robert Browning �'Rabbi Ben Ezra�
What Youth deemed crystal,
Age finds out was dew.
- - - - Robert Browning
Years steal
Fire from the mind as vigour from the limb,
And life's enchanted cup but sparkles near the brim.
- - - - George Gordon, Lord Byron �Childe Harold's Pilgrimage�
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you
have at fifty.
- - - - Coco Chanel
I prefer old age to the alternative.
- - - - Maurice Chevalier
One keeps on forgetting old age up to the very brink of the grave.
- - - - Colette
Old age is no place for sissies.
- - - - Bette Davis
As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.
- - - - Fran�ois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
- - - - T. S. Eliot �The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock�
We do not count a man's years until he has nothing else to count.
- - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
If youth but knew; if age but could.
- - - - Henri Estienne
At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty the wit; at forty the judgment.
- - - - Benjamin Franklin
Men, like peaches and pears, grow sweet a little while before they begin to decay.
- - - - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Old age is like an opium dream. Nothing seems real except the unreal.
- - - - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- - - - Bob Hope
After a man passes sixty, his mischief is mainly in his head.
- - - - Edgar Watson Howe
Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them,
acting. People you know, yet can't quite name.�
- - - - Philip Larkin
I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it�s all a little bit lower.
- - - - Gypsy Rose Lee
For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away,
The sky is filled with stars invisible by day.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Morituri Salutamus" 1875
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
- - - - Bette Midler
At age fifty, every man has the face he deserves.
- - - - George Orwell
Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don�t mind, it doesn�t matter.
- - - - Satchel Paige
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?
- - - - Satchel Paige
Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It�s more often a succession of jerks.
- - - - Jean Rhys
Old Age: First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull
your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
- - - - Leo Rosenberg
Some reckon their age by years,
Some measure their life by art;
But some tell their days by the flow of their tears
And their lives by the moans of their hearts.
- - - - Abram Joseph Ryan
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw �Maxims for Revolutionists�
When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Women just go right on
cooking.
- - - - Gail Sheehy
Said the little boy, �Sometimes I drop my spoon.�
Said the old man, �I do that too.�
The little boy whispered, �I wet my pants.�
�I do that too,� laughed the old man.�
Said the little boy, �I often cry.�
The old man nodded, �So do I.�
�But worst of all,� said the boy, �it seems
Grown-ups don�t pay attention to me.�
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
�I know what you mean,� said the old man.
- - - - Shel Silverstein
Youth is the time for adventures of the body, but age for the triumphs of the mind.
- - - - Logan Pearsall Smith
Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.
- - - - Leon Trotsky
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting out
ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
- - - - Samuel Ullman
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is
running the country.�
- - - - Kurt Vonnegut�
Be wise with speed;
A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
- - - - Edward Young
Like our shadows,
Our wishes lengthen as our sun declines.
- - - - Edward Young �Night Thoughts�
We have a saying in the movement that we don't trust anybody over thirty.
- - - - Jack Weinberg
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know
everything.
- - - - Oscar Wilde

Truth sits upon the lips of dying men.

- - - Matthew Arnold "Sohrab and Rustum"
The truth shall make you free.
- - - Bible, John 8:32
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the
world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.�
- - - Josh Billings
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
- - - William Blake "Auguries of Innocence"
Truth exists, only falsehood has to be invented.
- - - Georges Braque
For truth there is no deadline.
- - - Heywood Broun
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- - - William Jennings Bryan
Truth, crushed to earth, shall rise again.
- - - William Cullen Bryant
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that you've got it made.
- - - George Burns
The easiest person to deceive is one's self.
- - - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton "The Disowned" 1828
There is a case for telling the truth; there is a case for avoiding the scandal;
but there is no possible defense for the man who tells the scandal, but does not
tell the truth
- - - G. K. Chesterton
'Tis strange - but true; for truth is always strange;�
Stranger than fiction.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "Don Juan"
Truth, like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that
enhances every object.
- - - Albert Camus "The Fall" 1957
Truth is the highest thing that man may keep.
- - - Geoffrey Chaucer "Canterbury Tales. The Frankeleines Tale"
In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard
of lies.
- - - Winston Churchill
It is a fine thing to be honest, but it is also very important to be right.
- - - Winston Churchill
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry
off as if nothing happened.
- - - Winston Churchill
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it. Ignorance may deride it. But
in the end, there it is.
- - - Winston Churchill
The exact contrary of what is generally believed is often the truth.
- - - Jean de La Bruyere
The truth will make you free, but first it will make you miserable.
- - - Tom DeMarco
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must
be the truth.
- - - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "The Sign of Four"
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with
important matters.
- - - Albert Einstein
The highest compact we can make with our fellow is -
"Let there be truth between us two forevermore."
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can't cheat an honest man.
- - - W. C. Fields
Truth is the glue that holds government together.
- - - Gerald R. Ford, Speech, 9 Aug. 1974, on succeeding Richard Nixon as
president.
A lie stands on one leg, truth on two.
- - - Benjamin Franklin
Even if all parts of a problem seem to fit together like the pieces of a jigsaw
puzzle, one has to remember that the probable need not necessarily be the truth and
the truth not always probable.
- - - Sigmund Freud
Truth is completely spontaneous. Lies have to be taught.
- - - Richard Buckminster Fuller Jr.
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
- - - Mohandas K. Gandhi "Non-Violence in Peace and War"
Whores are the most honest girls. They present the bill right away.
- - - Alberto Giacometti
Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.
- - - Andr� Gide
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It
encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a
challenge to tell lies successfully.
- - - Graham Greene
The truth has never been of any real value to any human being--it is a symbol for
mathematicians and philosophers to pursue. In human relations kindness and lies are
worth a thousand truths.�
- - - Graham Greene
A society committed to the search for truth must give protection to, and set a high
value upon, the independent and original mind, however angular, however rasping,
however socially unpleasant it may be; for it is upon such minds, in large measure,
that the effective search for truth depends.
- - - Caryl P. Haskins
Truth made you a traitor as it often does in a time of scoundrels.
- - - Lillian Hellman
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
- - - Katherine Hepburn
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.�
- - - F. M. Hubbard
An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.
- - - Aldous Huxley "Brave New World Revisited" 1958
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
- - - Aldous Huxley
All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified.
- - - Thomas Henry Huxley "On the Study of Biology"
The spirit of truth and the spirit of freedom--they are the pillars of society.
- - - Henrik Ibsen
The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.�
- - - Alexander Jablokov "The Place of No Shadows"
The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.�
- - - Thomas Jefferson
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an
exceptionally good liar.
- - - Jerome K. Jerome
Truth is the safest lie.
- - - Jewish Proverb
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time;
erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.�
- - - Immanuel Kant
Beauty is truth, truth beauty,-that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
- - - John Keats "Ode on a Grecian Urn"
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie- deliberate, contrived and
dishonest- but the myth- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- - - John F. Kennedy
It's the truth even if it didn't happen.
- - - Ken Kesey
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.�
- - - Steve Landesberg
In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes
true.
- - - John Lilly
The greatest homage we can pay to truth, is to use it.
- - - James Russell Lowell
Peace if possible, but truth at any rate.
- - - Martin Luther
I would not favour a fiction to keep a whole world out of hell. The hell that a lie
would keep any man out of is doubtless the very best place for him to go to. It is
truth... that saves the world.
- - - George MacDonald
Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth.
- - - Ruth McKenney
Truth uttered before its time is dangerous.
- - - Mencius
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would
lie if you were in his place.
- - - H. L. Mencken
The smallest atom of truth represents some man's bitter toil and agony; for every
ponderable chunk of it there is a brave truth-seeker's grave upon some lonely ash-
dump and a soul roasting in hell.
- - - H. L. Mencken "Prejudices"
I never know how much of what I say is true.
- - - Bette Midler
The dictum that truth always triumphs over persecution is one of the pleasant
falsehoods which men repeat after one another till they pass into commonplaces, but
which all experience refutes.
- - - John Stuart Mill
Servant of God, well done! well hast thou fought
The better fight, who single hast maintain'd
Against revolted multitudes the cause of truth.
- - - John Milton "Paradise Lost"
Truth is as impossible to be soiled by any outward touch as the sunbeam.
- - - John Milton "Doctrine and Discipline of Divorce"
Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth- to see it like it is, and tell
it like it is- to find the truth, to speak the truth, and to live the truth.
- - - Richard M. Nixon , Speech, 9 Aug. 1968, Miami, accepting the presidential
nomination.
I preach there are all kinds of truth, your truth and somebody else's. But behind
all of them there is only one truth and that is that there's no truth.
- - - Flannery O'Connor "Wise Blood"
Political language. . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder
respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.�
- - - George Orwell
Truth never envelops itself in mystery, and the mystery in which it is at any time
enveloped is the work of its antagonist, and never of itself.
- - - Thomas Paine
He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the
accomplice of liars and forgers.
- - - Charles Peguy
Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.�
- - - Franklin D. Roosevelt, radio address, October 26, 1939
All truth passes through 3 stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently
opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.�
- - - Arthur Schopenhauer
This above all; to thine own self be true.
- - - William Shakespeare "Hamlet"
Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
- - - William Shakespeare
Truth is truth�
To the end of reckoning.�
- - - William Shakespeare "Measure for Measure"
When my love swears that she is made of truth,�
I do believe her, though I know she lies.
- - - William Shakespeare "Sonnet 138"
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie. One word
of truth outweighs the world.
- - - Alexander Solzhenitsyn
The truth is always the strongest argument.
- - - Sophocles
Truly, to tell lies is not honorable;�
but when the truth entails tremendous ruin,�
To speak dishonorably is pardonable.�
- - - Sophocles
There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and
posthumously.�
- - - Thomas Sowell
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth
that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the
divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.�
- - - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical
advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth
to deceive the public.�
- - - Vilhjalmur Stefansson
You will find that the truth is often unpopular and the contest between agreeable
fancy and disagreeable fact is unequal. For, in the vernacular, we Americans are
suckers for good news.
- - - Adlai E Stevenson
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.�
- - - Tom Stoppard
Change lays not her hand upon truth.
- - - Algernon Charles Swinburne
Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
- - - Henry David Thoreau
There is not greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness and truth.
- - - Leo Tolstoy "War and Peace"
I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle.
Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I wont.
- - - Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to
possibilities; Truth isn't.
- - - Mark Twain
Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.�
- - - Unknown
There are truths which are not for all men, nor for all occasions.
- - - Voltaire
I have found that nothing so deceives your adversaries as telling them the truth.
- - - Otto von Bismarck
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
- - - Oscar Wilde
I have never seasoned a truth with the sauce of a lie in order to digest it more
easily
- - - Marguerite Yourcenar

Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear.
~ ~ ~Aesop
People who talk about peace are very often the most quarrelsome.
~ ~ ~Lady Nancy Astor
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
~ ~ ~Buddha
If there is righteousness in the heart,
there will be beauty in the character.
If there is beauty in the character,
there will be harmony in the home.
If there is harmony in the home,
there will be order in the nation.
When there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.
~ ~ ~Chinese Proverb
We shall find peace. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with
diamonds.
~ ~ ~Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
We discovered that peace at any price is no peace at all.
~ ~ ~Eve Denise Curie
All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be
keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events
in the political field.
~ ~ ~Albert Einstein
Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through
understanding.
~ ~ ~Albert Einstein
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain
them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace.
~ ~ ~Andr� Gide
I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better
get out of their way and let them have it.
~ ~ ~Dwight David Eisenhower
Buried was the bloody hatchet.
Buried was the dreadful war club;
Buried were all warlike weapons,
And the war-cry was forgotten.
There was peace among the nations.
~ ~ ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Hiawatha"
... peace is a militant thing ... any peace movement must have behind it a higher
passion than the desire for war. No one can be a pacifist without being ready to
fight for peace and die for peace.
~ ~ ~Mary Heaton Vorse "A Footnote to Folly"
Peace hath higher tests of manhood
Than battle ever knew.
~ ~ ~John Greenleaf Whittier

Music I heard with you was more than music,

And bread I broke with you was more than bread.
Now that I am without you, all is so desolate;
And all that once was so beautiful is dead.
- - - - Conrad Aiken "Bread and Music"
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
- - - - W. H. Auden
The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies,
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies,
When love is done.
- - - - Francis W. Bourdillon "Light"
Had we never loved so kindly,
Had we never loved so blindly,
Never met - or never parted,
We had never been broken-hearted.
- - - - Robert Burns "Ae Fond Kiss"
In secret we met -
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee? -
With silence and tears.
- - - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "When We Two Parted"
When you're away, I'm restless, lonely,
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
Here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
- - - - Samuel Hoffenstein
I shall go the way of the open sea,
To the lands I knew before you came,
And the cool ocean breezes shall blow from me
The memory of your name.
- - - - Laurence Hope (Adela Florence Nicolson)
If you said good-bye to me tonight,
There would still be music left to write.
- - - - Billy Joel "The Longest Time"
The adoration of his heart had been to her only as the perfume of a wild flower,
which she had carelessly crushed with her foot in passing.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The greatest tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.�
- - - - W. Somerset Maugham
After all my erstwhile dear, my no longer cherished;
Need we say it was not love, just because it perished?
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay
It's not love's going hurts my days,
But that it went in little ways.
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied�
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!�
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;�
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;�
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,�
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;�
But last year's bitter loving must remain�
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.�
There are a hundred places where I fear�
To go, -- so with his memory they brim.�
And entering with relief some quiet place�
Where never fell his boot or shone his face�
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"�
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.�
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay "Time Does Not Bring Relief" 1917
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly
walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.�
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay
I don't wish to imply
that there aren't good
things about you
or that you're not
an extraordinary person
but I'd rather
let other people
enjoy the surprise
- - - - George Tsargas "now that it's over"
Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad -
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that was very bad.
Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.
- - - - Dorothy Parker "A Very Short Song"
Little drops of rain
Whisper of the pain
Tears of love
Lost in the days gone by.
- - - - Robert Plant "Thank You"
Laurel is green for a season, and love is sweet
For a day.
And love grown bitter with treason, and laurel
Outlives not May.
- - - - Algernon Charles Swinburne "Hymn to Proserpine"

Well, time wounds all heels.

- - -�Jane Ace
Backward, turn backward, O time in your flight,
Make me a child again, just for tonight.
- - -�Elizabeth Chase Akers "Rock Me to Sleep"
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to
despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have
the wisdom to choose correctly.
- - -�Woody Allen
Every Day Will be Sunday
A young fellow who did not much enjoy working, did do some work
figuring out that eventually every day will be Sunday.
Every year has 365 days.
If you sleep eight hours a day it equals 122 days.
This leaves 243 days.
If you rest eight hours a day it equals another 122 days.
This leaves 121 days.
There are 52 Sundays, thus leaving 69 days.
If you have a half-day on Saturday, this equals 26 days, and leaves 43 days.
If you have 1 1/2 hour for lunch every work day, this equals 28 days,
leaving 15 days.
Two weeks vacation equals 14 days.
This leaves only one day.
And on Labor Day nobody works.
- - -�Anonymous
If you had a bank that credited your account each morning with $86,400, that
carried over no balance from day to day, and allowed you to keep no cash in your
account, and every evening canceled whatever part of the amount you had failed to
use during the day, what would you do? Draw out every cent of course!
Well, you do have such a bank, and it's name is "time." Every morning it credits
you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it rules off, as lost, whatever of this you
have failed to invest to good purpose.
If you fail to use the day's deposits the loss is yours.
- - -�Anonymous
Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is
a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this
too will be swept away.�
- - -�Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils for time is the greatest
innovator.�
- - -�Sir Francis Bacon
Better late than before anybody has invited you.
- - -�Ambrose Bierce
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
- - -�Hector Berlioz
To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven;
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck that which is planted.
- - -�Bible - Ecclesiastes 3:1
Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.�
- - -�Margaret Bonnano
Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along,
but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire
that consumes me, but I am the fire.
- - -�Jorge Louis Borges
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
- - -�Dion Boucicault
Oh Time! the beautifier of the dead, adorer of the ruin, comforter and only healer
when the heart hath bled... Time, the avenger!
- - -�Lord Byron
One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities.
- - -�Thomas Carlyle
Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.
- - -�Lord Chesterfield
I live now on borrowed time, waiting in the anteroom for the summons that will
inevitably come. And then - I go on to the next thing, whatever it is. One doesn't
luckily have to bother about that.
- - -�Agatha Christie, An Autobiography, 1977
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
- - -�Charles Dickens "A Tale of Two Cities"
Time goes, you say? Ah, no! Alas, Time stays, we go.
- - -�Austin Dobson
For the times they are a-changin'.
- - -�Bob Dylan "The Times They Are a-Changin''
Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the
clock stops does time come to life.
- - -�William Faulkner
Whether we wake or we sleep,�
Whether we carol or weep,�
The Sun with his Planets in chime,�
Marketh the going of Time.
- - -Edward FitzGerald "Chronomoros"
Lost time is never found again.
- - -�Benjamin Franklin
If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting,
and we feel - nothing at all. The best things arrive on time.
- - -�Dorothy Gilman "A New Kind of Country"
Rest not! Life is sweeping by; go and dare before you die.
Something mighty and sublime, leave behind to conquer time.
- - -�Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Since time is not a person we can overtake when he is gone, let us honor him with
mirth and cheerfulness of heart while he is passing.
- - -�Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.
- - -�Nathaniel Hawthorne "The Marble Faun"
I didn't mean to take up all your sweet time...
I'll give it right back to you, one of these days
- - -�Jimi Hendrix
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Times is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
- - -�Robert Herrick "To the Virgins to Make Much of Time"
There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.
- - -�Homer (~700 BC)
You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss,
A sigh is just a sigh;
The fundamental things apply,
As time goes by.
- - -�Herman Hupfeld "As Time Goes By"
He who would make serious use of his life must always act as though he had a long
time to live and must schedule his time as though he were about to die.
- - -��mile Littr�
What is time? The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the
sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries -- these are but
arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of Time, not Time itself. Time is the Life
of the soul.
- - -�Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set
with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered for they are gone forever.
- - -�Horace Mann
Time is the thief you cannot banish.
- - -�Phyllis McGinley
Nothing cures like time and love.
- - -�Laura Nyro
These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine
patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country.
- - -�Thomas Paine "'The American Crisis"
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking.
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older.
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.
- - -�Pink Floyd "Time"
Time it was
and what a time it was
it was...
a time of innocence
a time confidences
long ago it must be
I have a photograph
preserve your memories
its all that's left you.
- - -�Paul Simon / Art Garfunkel
Livin' high, living fine
Livin' high on borrowed time
- - -�Styx "Borrowed Time"
Ever eating, never cloying,
All-devouring, all-destroying,
Never finding full repast,
Till I eat the world at last.
- - -�Jonathan Swift "Time"
For the crown of our life as it closes
Is darkness, the fruit there of dust;
No thorns go as deep as the rose's,
And love is more cruel than lust.
Time turns the old days to derision,
Our loves into corpses or wives;
And marriage and death and division
Make barren our lives.
- - -�Algernon Charles Swinburne "Dolores" (1866)
At the door of life by the gate of breath,
There are worse things waiting for men than death.�
- - -�Algernon Charles Swinburne "The Triumph of Time"
The strongest of all warriors are these two - Time and Patience.
- - -�Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy "War and Peace"
Am I going down
To where there's no return
How long can I go on
Listening to my fears
I'm so tired of living
On borrowed time
- - -�Trouble "Borrowed Time"
Time is too slow for those who wait; too swift for those who fear; too long for
those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice. But for those who live, time is
eternity; hours fly, flowers die, new days, new ways pass by, Love stays.
- - -�Henry Van Dyke
Time is man's angel.
- - -�Johann Friedrich von Schiller
Time rushes towards us with its hospital tray of infinitely varied narcotics, even
while it is preparing uis for its inevitably fatal operation.
- - -�Tennessee Williams "The Rose Tattoo"
Sweet childish days, that were as long
As twenty days are now.
- - -�William Wordsworth "To a Butterfly"
You say that love is nonsense....I tell you it is no such thing. For weeks and
months it is a steady physical pain, an ache about the heart, never leaving one, by
night or by day; a long strain on one's nerves like toothache or rheumatism, not
intolerable at any one instant, but exhausting by its steady drain on the
strength.�
- - - - Henry Brooks Adams
Love of country is like love of woman--he loves her best who seeks to bestow on her
the highest good.
- - - - Felix Adler
In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.
- - - - J�nos Arany
I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street.
I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.
- - - - W. H. Auden "As I Walked Out One Evening"
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
It's the only thing that there's just too little of.
- - - - Burt Bacharach / Hal David
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle,
love is a war; love is a growing up.
- - - - James Baldwin
But, O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those
they loved, I shall always be near you; In the gladdest days and in the darkest
nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it
shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my
spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee,
for we shall meet again.
- - - - Major Sullivan Ballou, to his wife, a week before his death in 1861
The love you take is equal to the love you make.
- - - - The Beatles "The End"
The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope.
- - - - Walter Benjamin "One-Way Street and Other Writings"
Love is very patient,
Love is very kind,
Love is never envious
Or vaunted up with pride.
- - - - Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
If every wife was happy with a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
- - - - Anne Bradstreet "To My Dearest and Loving Husband," 1678
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breath and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
- - - - Elizabeth Barrett Browning "Sonnets from the Portuguese"
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a girl and discovering that she
looks like a haddock.
- - - - John Barrymore
I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.
- - - - Henry Ward Beecher
O lyric Love, half angel and half bird
And all a wonder and a wild desire.
- - - - Robert Browning "The Ring and the Book"
Unless you can love, as the angels may,
With the breadth of heaven betwixt you;
Unless you can dream that his faith is fast,
Through behoving and unbeloving;
Unless you can die when the dream is past--
Oh, never call it loving!
- - - - Robert Browning
Love is always either increasing or decreasing.
- - - - Andreas Capellanus
We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their
advantage, then to their disadvantage.
- - - - Albert Camus
Give me more love or more disdain;
The torrid or the frozen zone;
Bring equal ease unto my pain;
The temperate affords me none.
- - - - Thomas Carew
Of all the pain, the greatest pain,
Is to love, but to love in vain.
- - - - Abraham Cowley
Love is a power too strong to be overcome by anything but flight.
- - - - Miguel de Cervantes
Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart.
- - - - Alphonse Marie de Lamartine
There are people who would have never fallen in love if they never heard of love.
- - - - Fran�ois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion.
- - - - Ninon de Lenclos
Love does not consist in gazing at each-other but in looking together in the same
direction.
- - - - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
- - - - Walt Disney
Twice or thrice I loved thee
Before I knew thy face or name
So in a voice, so in shapeless flame,
Angels affect us oft, and worshipped be
- - - - John Donne "Air and Angels"
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
- - - - Edward Fitzgerald "The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam"
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
- - - - Robert Frost
I believe that if I should die,
and you were to walk near my grave,
from the very depths of the earth
I would hear your footsteps.
- - - - Benito Perez Galdos
It is the special quality of love not to be able to remain stationary, to be
obliged to increase under pain of diminishing.
- - - - Andre Gide
This is the true measure of love,
When we believe that we alone can love,
That no one could ever have loved so before us,
And that no one will ever love in the same way after us.
- - - - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you
with a miniature machine-gun.
- - - - Matt Groening
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- - - - Louise Hay
Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall
in love with the most appalling people.
- - - - Cynthia Heimel
Somewhere there was once a Flower, a Stone, a Crystal, a Queen, a King, a Palace, a
Lover and his Beloved, and this was long ago, on an Island somewhere in the ocean
5,000 years ago.Such is Love, the Mystic Flower of the Soul. This is the Center,
the Self.
- - - - Carl Jung
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
- - - - Martin Luther King, Jr.
There is nothing holier, in this life of ours, than the first consciousness of love
--the first fluttering of its silken wings.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
- - - - Maria Lovell "Ingomar the Barbarian"
Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?
- - - - Christopher Marlowe "Hero and Leander"
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
- - - - Paul McCartney
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- - - - H. L. Mencken
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- - - - H. L. Mencken
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia - to mistake an
ordinary young woman for a goddess.
- - - - H. L. Mencken
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way.
- - - - Joni Mitchell "Both Sides Now"
Alas! how light a cause may move
Dissension between hearts that love!
Hearts that the world in vain had tried,
And sorrow but more closely tied;
That stood the storm when waves were rough,
Yet in a sunny hour fall off.
- - - - Thomas Moore
I have loved many, the more and the few -
I have loved many that I might love you.
- - - - Grace Fallow Norton
In love there are two things: bodies and words.
- - - - Joyce Carol Oates
Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its
defense.
- - - - Mark A. Overby
Love and dignity cannot share the same abode.
- - - - Ovid
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch
it, and it darts away.
- - - - Dorothy Parker
Love is a reciprocal torture.
- - - - Marcel Proust
Love rules the court, the camp, the grove,
And men below, and saints above:
For love is heaven, and heaven is love.
- - - - Walter Scott
Love is like the moon; when it does not increase it decreases.
- - - - Segur
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs,
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes,
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Romeo and Juliet"
Let me not to the marriage of true minds�
Admit impediments. Love is not love�
Which alters when it alteration finds,�
Or bends with the remover to remove:�
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark�
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;�
It is the star to every wandering bark,�
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.�
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks�
Within his bending sickle's compass come:�
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,�
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.�
If this be error and upon me proved,�
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.�
- - - - William Shakespeare "Sonnet CXVI"
Men have died from time to time, and the worms have eaten 'em, but not for love.
- - - - William Shakespeare "As You Like It"
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw "John Bull's Other Island"
If we reason, we would be understood; if we imagine, we would that the airy
children of our brain were born anew within another's; if we feel, we would that
another's nerves should vibrate to our own, that the beams of their eyes should
kindle at once and mix and melt into our own, that lips of motionless ice should
not reply to lips quivering and burning with the heart's best blood. This is Love.
- - - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "Essay on Love"
All is fair in love and war.
- - - - Francis Edward Smedley
If love were what the rose is,
And I were like the leaf,
Our lives would grow together
In sad or singing weather.
- - - - Algernon Charles Swinburne "A Match"
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out fine if you only will.
- - - - James Taylor "Shower the People"
The joy of late love is like green firewood when set aflame, for the longer the
wait in lighting, the greater heat it yields and the longer its force lasts.
- - - - Chr�tien de Troyes "The Knight with Lion"
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
- - - - Peter Ustinov
Here are fruits, flowers, leaves and branches,
And here is my heart which beats only for you.
- - - - Paul Verlaine "Romances sans Paroles"
Love begets love, love knows no rules, this is the same for all.
- - - - Virgil
It has ever been since time began,
And ever will be, till time lose breath,
That love is a mood - no more - to man,
And love to a woman is life or death.
- - - - Ella Wheeler Wilcox "Blind"
Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
- - - - Oscar Wilde
St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time -- a day to begin transforming winter's
dreams into summer's magic.
�������� Adrienne Cook
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
�������� Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)
Ireland is rich in literature that understands a soul's yearnings, and dancing that
understands a happy heart.
�������� Margaret Jackson
The English language brings out the best in the Irish. They court it like a
beautiful woman. They make it bray with donkey laughter. They hurl it at the sky
like a paint pot full of rainbows, and then make it chant a dirge for man�s fate
and man�s follies that is as mournful as misty spring rain crying over the fallow
earth.
�������� T E Kalem
The problem with Ireland is that it�s a country full of genius, but with absolutely
no talent.
�������� Hugh Leonard
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
�������� Alex Levine
O Ireland isn't it grand you look--
Like a bride in her rich adornin?�
And with all the pent-up love of my heart
I bid you the top o' the mornin!�
�������� John Locke "The Exile's Return"
Maybe it's bred in the bone, but the sound of pipes is a little bit of heaven to
some of us.
�������� Nancy O'Keeefe
In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs.�
�������� Sir John Pentland Mahaffy
I'm troubled, I'm dissatisfied. I'm Irish.�
�������� Marianne Moore "Spenser's Ireland"
On she went, and her maiden smile
In safety lighted her round the Green Isle;
And blest forever was she who relied
Upon Erin's honor and Erin's pride.
�������� Thomas Moore
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting.�
�������� John Millington Synge
Irish ProverbsA drink precedes a story.
A friend's eye is a good mirror.
A hen is heavy when carried far.
A hound's food is in its legs.
A lock is better than suspicion.
A silent mouth is melodious.
A trade not properly learned is an enemy.
Age is honorable and youth is noble.
As the big hound is, so will the pup be.
Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.
Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.
Even a small thorn causes festering.
Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.
He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you.
He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.
If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn.
If you want to be criticized, marry.
Instinct is stronger than upbringing.
It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself.
It is a long road that has no turning.
It is better to exist unknown to the law.
It is not a secret if it is known by three people.
It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for.
It is the good horse that draws its own cart.
It is the quiet pigs that eat the meal.
It takes time to build castles. Rome wan not built in a day.
It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a
while.
Lack of resource has hanged many a person.
Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout.
May you have a bright future - as the chimney sweep said to his son.
Mere words do not feed the friars.
Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Necessity knows no law.
Need teaches a plan.
Patience is poultice for all wounds.
Youth does not mind where it sets its foot.
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.�People
live in each other's shelter.
Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat.
Quiet people are well able to look after themselves.
The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail.
The hole is more honorable than the patch.
The light heart lives long.
The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot.
The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely.
The raggy colt often made a powerful horse.
The smallest thing outlives the human being.
The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches.
The well fed does not understand the lean.
The work praises the man.
The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey.
There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave.
There is no fireside like your own fireside.
There is no luck except where there is discipline.
There is no need like the lack of a friend.
There is no strength without unity.
Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness.
Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst.
Time is a great story teller.
Two shorten the road.
Two thirds of the work is the semblance.
Walk straight, my son - as the old crab said to the young crab.
When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak.
When fire is applied to a stone it cracks.
When the apple is ripe it will fall.
When the drop (drink) is inside, the sense is outside.
When the liquor was gone the fun was gone.
Wine divulges truth.
You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me come and live
with me.
Youth sheds many a skin. The steed (horse) does not retain its speed forever.

General Food Quotes

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a
beverage.
- - - Woody Allen "Without Feathers"
A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some
gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow
them down whole, absent-mindedly and with little relish.�
- - - W. H. Auden
Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to
be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they
won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.
- - - Roseanne Barr
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
- - - James A. Beard
Food is our common ground, a universal experience.
- - - James A. Beard
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.�
- - - Ed Begley, Jr.
Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.�
- - - Sarah Bernhardt
Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die.�
- - - Bible - Isaiah 22:13
They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more;�
Neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.
- - - Bible Revelation 7:16
Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
- - - Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream
makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese;
garlic makes it good.
- - - Alice May Brock
He may live without books - what is knowledge but grieving?�
He may live without hope - what is hope but grieving?�
He may live without love - what is passion but pining?�
But where is the man that can live without dining?
- - - Edward R. Bulwer-Lytton "Lucille"
I don't eat anything that a dog won't eat. Like sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He
just sniffs it and says, "I don't think so." And this is an animal that licks
between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants.
- - - Billiam Coronel
Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- - - Jim Davis (Garfield)
America knows nothing of food, love, or art.�
- - - Isadora Duncan
Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot
dogs.
- - - Dwight D. Eisenhower
One can say everything best over a meal.
- - - George Eliot
Let the stoics say what they please, we do not eat for the good of living, but
because the meat is savory and the appetite is keen.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food.
- - - Desiderius Erasmus
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,�
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou�
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -�
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!�
- - - Edward Fitzgerald "The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam"
The main problem in marriage is that, for a man, sex is a hunger - like eating. If
a man is hungry and can't get to a fancy French restaurant, he'll go to a hot dog
stand.�
- - - Joan Fontaine
Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.
- - - Benjamin Franklin
Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
- - - Henry IV of France
One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste.�
- - - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Money brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances,
but not friends.�
- - - Henrik Ibsen
When the stomach is full, it is easy to talk of fasting.
- - - Saint Jerome
A smiling face is half the meal.
- - - Latvian Proverb
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,�
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;�
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,�
They danced by the light of the moon.�
- - - Edward Lear
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
- - - Fran Lebowitz
If the people have no bread, let them eat cake.
- - - (attributed to) Marie Antoinette
Britain is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the
sex.�
- - - Jackie Mason
At a dinner party on should eat wisely but not too well. And talk well but not too
wisely.
- - - W. Somerset Maugham
Kissing don't last: cookery do!�
- - - George Meredith
We may live without friends; we may live without books�
But civilized men cannot live without cooks.
- - - Owen Meredith
Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup,
mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which
destroys the original flavor of the dish.�
- - - Henry Miller
One must eat to live, not live to eat.
- - - Moliere
Jack Sprat Could eat no fat,�
His wife could eat no lean;�
And so, Betwixt them both,�
They licked the platter clean.
- - - Mother Goose
Little Tom Tucker Sings for his supper.�
What shall he eat?�
White bread and butter.�
How will he cut it�
Without e'er a knife?�
How will he be married�
Without e'er a wife?�
- - - Mother Goose
The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells
like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they
gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke
It's difficult to believe that people are still starving in this country because
food isn't available.
- - - Ronald Reagan
You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
- - - Ronald Reagan
One may live without bread, not without roses.�
- - - Jean Richepin
Nothing stimulates the practiced cook's imagination like an egg.
- - - Irma Rombauer
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
- - - Carl Sandburg
Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
- - - William Shakespeare
If music be the food of love, play on.�
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,�
The appetite may sicken, and so die.�
- - - William Shakespeare "Twelfth Night"
There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Women just go right on
cooking.�
- - - Gail Sheehy
Chameleons feed on light and air:
Poets' food is love and fame.�
- - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "An Exhortation"
Serenely full, the epicure would say, Fate cannot harm me; I have dined to-day.
- - - Sydney Smith "Recipe for Salad"
I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as
much cooking.
- - - Carrie Snow
Bachelor's fare: bread and cheese, and kisses.�
- - - Jonathan Swift
My tongue is smiling.
- - - Abigail Trillin
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the
family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.�
- - - Calvin Trillin
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a
pleasure as well as a necessity.
- - - Voltaire
Quotations about Breakfast
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.�
- - - John Gunther
Quotations about Cabbage
Cabbage: A vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
- - - Ambrose Bierce
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage,
concludes that it will also make better soup.
- - - H. L. Mencken
Quotations about Cheese
Cheese--milk's leap toward immortality.�
- - - Clifton Fadiman
Quotations about Chocolate
As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid
that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate
dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for
chocolate.�
- - - Sandra Boynton "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
Research tells us that fourteen out of any ten individuals like chocolate.�
- - - Sandra Boynton "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.�
- - - Truman Capote
There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who love chocolate, and
communists.�
- - - Leslie Moak Murray in "Murray's Law"
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare
hands -- and then eat just one of the pieces.
- - - Judith Viorst
Quotations about Coffee
A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home-ground, home-made, that comes to
you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream
that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow,
perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a coffee is a match
for twenty blue devils, and will exorcise them all.�
- - - Henry Ward Beecher "Eyes and Ears"
The world's costliest coffee, at $130 a pound, is called Kopi Luwak. Essentially,
it is the droppings from a type of marsupial that eats only the very best coffee
beans. Plantation workers track them and scoop their precious poop.�
- - - Irena Chalmers "The Great Food Almanac"
Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon.�
- - - Jilly Cooper
Black as the devil,�
Hot as hell,�
Pure as an angel,�
Sweet as love.�
- - - Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord "recipe for coffee"
It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects
and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is
using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.
- - - Frederick the Great
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.�
- - - Alex Levine
If this is coffee, please bring some tea; but it this is tea, please bring me some
coffee.�
- - - Abraham Lincoln
I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume.
- - - John Van Druten
If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat,
because we made civilization in order to impress our girl friends. And they
tolerated it and let us go ahead and play with our toys.�
- - - Orson Welles
Quotations about Corn
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.�
- - - Garrison Keillor
Quotations about Cucumber
A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then
thrown out, as good for nothing.�
- - - Samuel Johnson
Quotations about Fish
Give me a fish, I eat for a day. Teach me to fish, I eat for a lifetime.�
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion, and he'll
starve to death while praying for a fish.�
- - - Timothy Jones
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.�
- - - Gloria Steinem
Quotations about Garlic
There are five elements: earth, air, fire, water and garlic.�
- - - Louis Diat
Quotations about Gluttony
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.�
- - - Erma Bombeck
Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth.�
- - - French Proverb
When we lose, I eat. When we win, I eat. I also eat when we're rained out.�
- - - Tommy Lasorda
Never eat more than you can lift.�
- - - Miss Piggy
The appetite grows with eating.�
- - - Francois Rabelais
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three
other people.�
- - - Orson Welles
Quotations about Honey
The pedigree of Honey�
Does not concern the Bee -�
A Clover, any time, to him,�
Is Aristocracy.�
- - - Emily Dickinson
'Bee vomit,' my brother said once,�
'that's all honey is,' so that�
I could not put my tongue to its�
jellied flame without tasting
regurgitated blossoms.�
- - - Rita Dove "In the Old Neighborhood"
A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.�
- - - Benjamin Franklin
And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.�
And I'd love to be with you if only I could.�
- - - Bobby Goldboro
Quotations about Ice Cream
I doubt the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first
adventure with ice cream.�
- - - Heywood Broun
Quotations about Oysters
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.�
- - - Woody Allen
Quotations about Roast Beef
Roast Beef, Medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy. Seated at Life's Dining
Table, with the menu of Morals before you, your eye wanders a bit over the entrees,
the hors d'oeuvres, and the things a la though you know that Roast Beef, Medium, is
safe and sane, and sure.�
- - - Edna Ferber
Quotations about Watermelon
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.�
- - - Mark Twain
Quotations about Vegetarians
I have always eaten animal flesh with a somewhat guilty conscience.�
- - - Albert Einstein
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good
cut of meat.
- - - Fran Lebowitz "Metropolitan Life"
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.�
- - - George Bernard Shaw
A man of my spiritual intensity does not eat corpses.�
- - - George Bernard Shaw
Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same
impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our
own.�
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson
A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some
gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow
them down whole, absent-mindedly and with little relish.
- - - - W. H. Auden
If there were dreams to sell,
Merry and sad to tell,
And the crier rung his bell,
What would you buy?
- - - - Thomas Lovell Beddoes "Dream-Pedlar"
Dreaming men are haunted men.
- - - - Stephen Vincent Benet
Your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.
- - - - Bible - Joel 2:28
You know a dream is like a river
Ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.
- - - - Garth Brooks "The River"
I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
- - - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "Darkness"
Myth is the public dream, and dream is the private myth.
- - - - Joseph Campbell
Once upon a time,
I dreamt
I was a butterfly...Suddenly
I awoke...Now, I do not
know whether I was then
a man dreaming I was
a butterfly, or whether I
am now a butterfly dreaming
that I am a man.
- - - - Chuang-Tzu
A man that is born falls into a dream like a man who falls into the sea. If he
tries to climb out into the air as inexperienced people endeavour to do, he drowns.
- - - - Joseph Conrad "Lord Jim"
We live, as we dream -- alone.
- - - - Joseph Conrad "Heart of Darkness"
I walked beside the evening sea
And dreamed a dream that could not be;
The waves that plunged along the shore
Said only: "Dreamer, dream no more!"
- - - - George William Curtis
To dream the impossible dream,
To reach the unreachable star!
- - - - Joe Darion
Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go.�
- - - - Louise Driscoll
I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I
think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay.
- - - - Bob Dylan
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrop are waiting for thee.
- - - - Stephen Foster "Beautiful Dreamer"
Dreams - A microscope through which we look at the hidden occurrences in our soul.
- - - - Erich Fromm
I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord
among those without dreams and desires.
- - - - Kahlil Gibran
When we can't dream any longer we die.
- - - - Emma Goldman
Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the
blue prints of your ultimate achievements.
- - - - Napoleon Hill
We do not really feel grateful toward those who make our dreams come true; they
ruin our dreams.
- - - - Eric Hoffer
Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.
- - - - Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or does
it explode?
- - - - Langston Hughes "Harlem"
Goals are dreams with deadlines.
- - - - Diana Scharf Hunt
You must never stop dreaming. Face reality, yes. But don't stop with the way things
are; dream of things as they ought to be. Dream of peace. Peace is rational and
reasonable. War is irrational in this age and unwinnable.
- - - - Jesse Jackson
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
- - - - Thomas Jefferson
Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
- - - - Gus Kahn "Dream A Little Dream of Me"
Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music: - do I wake or sleep?
- - - - John Keats
Let us learn to dream, gentlemen; then we shall perhaps find the truth.
- - - - Friedrich Kekule
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of
their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day
are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it
possible.
- - - - T. E. Lawrence
It may be that those who do most, dream most.
- - - - Stephen Leacock
Ah, great it is to believe the dream
As we stand in youth by the starry stream;
But a greater thing is to fight life through,
And say at the end, "The dream is true!"
- - - - Edwin Markham
Reality can destroy the dream; why shouldn't the dream destroy reality?
- - - - George Moore
Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
- - - - Larry Niven
Dreams are ... illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.
- - - - Marsha Norman
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
- - - - Edgar Allen Poe "A Dream Within a Dream"
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
- - - - Edgar Allen Poe
They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream
only by night.
- - - - Edgar Allan Poe "Eleonora"
If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to
dream more, to dream all the time.
- - - - Marcel Proust
The thing you have to be prepared for is that other people don't always dream your
dream.
- - - - Linda Ronstadt
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- - - - Eleanor Roosevelt
The republic is a dream.
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- - - - Carl Sandburg "Washington Monument by Night"
Every challenge we face can be solved by a dream.
- - - - David Schwartz
In a dream you are never eighty.
- - - - Anne Sexton
We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
- - - - William Shakespeare "The Tempest"
You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say,
"Why not?"
- - - - George Bernard Shaw "Back to Methuselah"
I arise from dreams of thee
In the first sweet sleep of night
When the winds are breathing low,
And the stars are shining bright.
- - - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "The Indian Serenade"
How many of our daydreams would darken into nightmares, were there a danger of
their coming true!
- - - - Logan Pearsall Smith
Why should she give her bounty to the dead?
What is divinity if it can come
Only in silent shadows and in dreams?
- - - - Wallace Stevens
Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
- - - - Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
- - - - Henry David Thoreau
Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have
them.
- - - - John Updike
Unfortunately, the balance of nature decrees that a superabundance of dreams is
paid for by a growing potential for nightmares.
- - - - Peter Ustinov
We are near awakening when we dream that we dream.
- - - - Baron Friedrich von Hardenberg
Saddle your dreams before you ride them.
- - - - Mary Webb
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that
he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
- - - - Oscar Wilde
Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.
- - - - Oscar Wilde
We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze
of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these
great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days
till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who
sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.
- - - - Woodrow Wilson
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
- - - - William Butler Yeats "He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven"
If I had never met him I would have dreamed him into being.
- - - - Anzia Yezierska

The difference between style and fashion is quality.�

- - -Giorgio Armani
No designer has really wowed me yet, I'm into other people's recommendations when
it comes to fashion.�
- - -Shawn Ashmore
Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse.
- - -Francis Bacon
Fashion is primitive in its insistence on exhibitionism, which withers in
isolation. The catwalk fashion show with its incandescent hype is its apotheosis. A
ritualized gathering of connoiseurs and the spoilt at a spotlit parade of snazzy
pulchritude, it is an industrialized version of the pagan festivals of renewal. At
the end of each seasonal display, a priesthood is enjoined to carry news of the
omens to the masses.
- - -Stephen Bayley
Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to
reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly.
- - -Cecil Beaton
Fashion is in a terrible state. An overdose of too much flesh.
- - -Geoffrey Beene
Fashion is treated too much as news rather than what it is, what it does and how it
performs.�
- - -Geoffrey Beene
Women thrive on novelty and are easy meat for the commerce of fashion. Men prefer
old pipes and torn jackets.�
- - -Anthony Burgess
Fashion is made to become unfashionable.
- - -Coco Chanel
There's never a new fashion but it's old.
- - -Geoffrey Chaucer
If you are not in fashion, you are nobody.�
- - -Lord Chesterfield
Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion,
on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time.�
- - -Jean Cocteau
"Women's fashion" is a euphemism for fashion created by men for women.
- - -Andrea Dworkin
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a
rock.�
- - -Thomas Jefferson
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.�
- - -Denise Klahn
Fashion is born by small facts, trends, or even politics, never by trying to make
little pleats and furbelows, by trinkets, by clothes easy to copy, or by the
shortening or lengthening of a skirt.
- - -Elsa Schiaparelli
The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.�
- - -William Shakespeare
What a deformed thief this fashion is.�
- - -William Shakespeare
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.�
- - -George Bernard Shaw
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
- - -Henry David Thoreau
Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn.�
- - -Gore Vidal
It is new fancy rather than taste which produces so many new fashions.�
- - -Voltaire
Fashion, by which what is really fantastic becomes for a moment the universal.
- - -Oscar Wilde
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six
months.
- - -Oscar Wilde
Fashion is the abortive issue of vain ostentation and exclusive egotism: it is
haughty, trifling, affected, servile, despotic, mean and ambitious, precise and
fantastical, all in a breath -- tied to no rule, and bound to conform to every whim
of the minute.�
- - -William Hazlitt
The fear of becoming a 'has-been' keeps some people from becoming anything.�
- - -Eric Hoffer

QUOTATIONS ABOUT AMERICA-

Tell your people that since the Great Father promised that we should never be
removed we have been moved five times. I think you had better put the Indians on
wheels so you can run them about wherever you wish.
- - - Anonymous Indian chief, 1876
America, America! God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea.
- - - Katherine Lee Bates
We are sojourners and strangers in this nation that rewards those who succumb to
the temptation of the desert.
- - - Joan B. Campbell
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.�
- - - George Carlin
Americans always try to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else.
- - - Winston Churchill
America knows nothing of food, love, or art.
- - - Isadora Duncan
I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now
when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
- - - Gerald Early
For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed
ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest that's sleeping in the
unplowed ground.
- - - Lyndon Baines Johnson
America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum
floats to the top.
- - - Charlie King
In America half an hour is forty minutes.
- - - German Proverb
America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
- - - Bobcat Goldthwait
I don't see much future for the Americans. Everything about the behavior of the
American society reveals that it's half judaized, and the other half is negrified.
How can one expect a state like that to hold together?
- - - Adolf Hitler
When I was a graduate student at Harvard, I learned about showers and central
heating. Ten years later, I learned about breakfast meetings. These are America's
three contributions to civilization.
- - - Mervyn A. King
The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars;
the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell the truth.
- - - H. L. Mencken
Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup,
mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which
destroys the original flavor of the dish.
- - - Henry Miller
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
- - - Robert Orben
In America, anyone can become President. That's one of the risks you take.
- - - Adlai Stevenson
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail,
it knocks over a chair.
- - - Arnold Toynbee
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without
civilization in between.
- - - Oscar Wilde
America is one long expectoration.
- - - Oscar Wilde
One comes to the United States--always, no matter how often--to see the future.
It's what life in one's own country will be like, five, ten, twenty years from now.
- - - Ehud Yonay
America is God's crucible, the great melting pot.
- - - Israel Zangwill
Oh, it's home again, and home again, America for me!
I want a ship that's westward bound to plow the rolling sea,
To the blessed Land of Room Enough beyond the ocean bars,
Where the air is full of sunlight and the flag is full of stars.
- - - Henry Van Dyke "America for Me"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT AUSTRALIA-
Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong,
Under the shade of a coolibar tree,
And he sang as he sat and waited for his billy-boil,
You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me.
- - - Andrew Barton "Banjo" Paterson "Australia's National Song"
Australia, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial
development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among
geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.�
- - -Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT CANADA-
Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women.
- - - Richard Brenner
Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad.
- - - Arnold Edinborough
I fear that I have not got much to say about Canada, not having seen much; what I
got by going to Canada was a cold.�
- - - Henry David Thoreau "A Yankee in Canada" (1853)
Canada: A few acres of snow.�
- - - Voltaire
QUOTATIONS ABOUT ENGLAND-
The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.
- - - James Agate
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.�
- - - Fred Allen "Treadmill to Oblivion"
England is a nation of shopkeepers.
- - - Napoleon Bonaparte
It's easy to understand why the most beautiful poems about England in the spring
were written by poets living in Italy at the time.�
- - - Philip Dunne
The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
England is the paradise of women, the purgatory of men, and the hell of horses.
- - - John Florio "First Frutes"
The English find ill-health not only interesting but respectable and often
experience death in the effort to avoid a fuss.
- - - Pamela Frankau
The English never smash in a face. They merely refrain from asking it to dinner.
- - - Margaret Halsey
We know no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its periodical
fits of morality.
- - - Thomas Babington Macaulay
Britain is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the
sex.
- - - Jackie Mason
If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.
- - - Jackie Mason
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.�
- - - George Mikes
An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an
Englishman in the dark.
- - - Duncan Spaeth
English people apparently queue up as a sort of hobby. A family man might pass a
mild autumn evening by taking the wife and kids to stand in the cinema queue for a
while and then leading them over for a few minutes in the sweetshop queue and then,
as a special treat for the kids, saying "Perhaps we've time to have a look at the
Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in."�
- - -Calvin Trillin
Anyone who has been to an English public school will feel comparatively at home in
prison.
- - - Evelyn Waugh
The English never abolish anything. They put it in cold storage.
- - - Alfred North Whitehead
I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold I almost got married.
- - - Shelley Winters
QUOTATIONS ABOUT FRANCE-
Every man has two countries, his own and France.
- - - Henri de Bornier
The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells
like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they
gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke
France has neither winter, summer, nor morals - apart from these drawbacks it it a
fine country.
- - - Mark Twain
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet
paper.�
- - - Billy Wilder
QUOTATIONS ABOUT GERMANY-
The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.
- - - Clifton Fadiman
You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal,
too, for all the good it does.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke "Holidays in Hell"
Germany is a machine for producing geniuses. Its crowning product was the German
Jew which in suitably dramatic style it then tried to destroy.
- - - Michel Tournier
Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
- - - Mark Twain
QUOTATIONS ABOUT GREECE-
The isles of Greece, the isles of Greece!
Where burning Sappho loved and sung.
��
Eternal summer gilds them yet,
But all except their sun is set.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron
QUOTATIONS ABOUT HUNGARY -
It is not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent, as well.
- - - Alexander Korda
QUOTATIONS ABOUT IRELAND-
Yet dearer still that Irish hill than all the world beside;�
It�s home, sweet home, where�er I roam, through lands and waters wide
- - - William Allingham "Adieu to Belashanny"
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
- - - Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)
The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely
no talent.
- - - Hugh Leonard
O Ireland isn't it grand you look--
Like a bride in her rich adornin?
And with all the pent-up love of my heart
I bid you the top o' the mornin!
- - - John Locke "The Exile's Return"
In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs.
- - - Sir John Pentland Mahaffy
I'm troubled, I'm dissatisfied. I'm Irish.
- - - Marianne Moore "Spenser's Ireland"
More Ireland quotesHERE�
Irish blessings, toasts, proverbs�HERE
QUOTATIONS ABOUT ISRAEL-
In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
- - - David Ben Gurion, 1956
QUOTATIONS ABOUT ITALY-
Open my heart and you will see,
Graved inside of it, 'Italy'.
- - - Robert Browning
Midnight, and love, and youth, and Italy!
- - - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
I love the language, that soft bastard Latin,
Which melts like kisses from a female mouth,
And sounds as if it should be writ on satin
With syllables which breathe of the sweet South.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron
Italia! O Italia! thou who hast
The fatal gift of beauty.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage"
A man who has not been in Italy, is always conscious of an inferiority, from his
not having seen what it is expected a man should see.
- - - Samuel Johnson
Know'st thou the land where the lemon-trees bloom,
Where the gold orange glows in the deep thicket's gloom,
Where a wind ever soft from the blue heaven blows,
And the groves are of laurel and myrtle and rose!
- - - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Wilhelm Meister"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT JAPAN-
The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from
rudeness.
- - - Paul Theroux "The Great Railway Bazaar" (1975)
QUOTATIONS ABOUT MEXICO-
Round the centre of the covered market, where there is a basin of water, are the
flowers: red, white, pink roses in heaps, many-coloured little carnations, poppies,
bits of larkspur, lemon and orange marigolds, buds of madonna lilies, pansies, a
few forget-me-nots. They don't bring the tropical flowers. Only the lilies come
wild from the hills, and the mauve red orchids."
- - -�D. H. Lawrence�" Mornings in Mexico "
the heart
of Mexico sits in the rain
not caring to seek shelter,
a blanket of geranium pink drawn up
over his silent mouth.
- - - Denise Levertov "Five Poems from Mexico"
The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with
it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love.
- - -�Octavio Paz
Mexico is a nineteenth-century country arranged for gaslight. Once brought into the
harsh light of the twentieth-century media, Mexico can only seem false. In its
male, in its public, its city aspect, Mexico is an arch-tranvestite, a tragic
buffoon. Dogs bark and babies cry when Mother Mexico walks abroad in the light of
day. The policeman, the Marxist mayor-Mother Mexico doesn't even bother to shave
her mustachios. Swords and rifles and spurs and bags of money chink and clatter
beneath her skirts. A chain of martyred priests dangles from her waist, for she is
an austere, pious lady. Ay, how much-clutching her jangling bosoms; spilling
cigars-how much she has suffered�
- - - Richard Rodriguez "Night and Day" (1990)
Mexico is the front door to South America - and the back door to the states..."
- - -�Tennessee Williams�" Night of the Iguana"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT RUSSIA-
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty
minutes. It's about Russia.
- - - Woody Allen
I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery
inside an enigma.
- - - Winston Churchill (radio speech, Oct. 1, 1939)
Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka,
smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled
cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and
vodka-anything and everything and vodka.�
- - - Hedrick Smith "The Russians"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCOTLAND-
There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.
- - - J. M. Barrie
A land of meanness, sophistry and lust.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron
The �second sight� possessed by the Highlanders in Scotland is actually a
foreknowledge of future events. I believe they possess this gift because they don�t
wear trousers.
- - - G.C. (Georg Christoph) Lichtenberg �Notebook L,� aph. 26, Aphorisms (written
1765-1799)
That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oat-
cakes, and sulphur.
- - - Sydney Smith
QUOTATIONS ABOUT YUGOSLAVIA-
The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.
- - - Ed Begley, Jr.

-BUG & INSECT QUOTATIONS-

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
- - - Muhammad Ali
If you want to live and thrive, let the spider run alive.�
- - - American Quaker Saying
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
- - - Richard Bach
I �d be a butterfly born in a bower,
Where roses and lilies and violets meet.
- - - Thomas Haynes Bayly
Habitant of castle gray,
Creeping thing in sober way,
Visible sage mechanician,
Skillfulest arithmetician.
- - - William Ellery Channing, in The New England Magazine The Spider (his first
poem; published October 1835)
You hail from Dream-land, Dragon-fly?�
A stranger hither? So am I,�
And (sooth to say) I wonder why�
We either of us came!
- - - Agnes M.F.R. Darmesteter "To a Dragon-fly"
Bees are black, with gilt surcingles -
Bucaneers of buzz.
- - - Emily Dickinson
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.
- - - Buckminster Fuller
The butterfly, a cabbage-white,
(His honest idiocy of flight)
Will never now, it is too late,
Master the art of flying straight.
- - - Robert Graves, Flying Crooked
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but one is but an insect,
and the other is a horse still.
- - - Samuel Johnson
When the moon shall have faded out from the sky, and the sun shall shine at noonday
a dull cherry red, and the seas shall be frozen over, and the icecap shall have
crept downward to the equator from either pole . . . when all the cities shall have
long been dead and crumbled into dust, and all life shall be on the last verge of
extinction on this globe; then, on a bit of lichen, growing on the bald rocks
beside the eternal snows of Panama, shall be seated a tiny insect, preening its
antennae in the glow of the worn-out sun, the sole survivor of animal life on this
our earth -- a melancholy bug.
- - - William Jacob Holland "The Moth Book" 1903
God in His wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.
- - - Ogden Nash "The Fly"
Some primal termite knocked on wood;
and tasted it, and found it good.
That is why your Cousin May
fell through the parlor floor today.
- - - Ogden Nash
Busy, curious, thirsty fly,
Drink with me, and drink as I.
- - - William Oldys "On a Fly Drinking out of a Cup"
The spider's touch, how exquisitely fine!
Feels at each thread, and lives along the line.
- - - Alexander Pope
I never could have thought of it,
To have a little bug all lit
And made to go on wings.
- - - Elizabeth Madox Roberts "Firefly"
Hurt no living thing:
Ladybird, nor butterfly,
Nor moth with dusty wing,
- - - Christina Georgina Rossetti
Spin and die,
To live again as butterfly.
- - - Christina Georgina Rossetti "The Caterpillar"
Deep in the sun-searched growths the dragonfly
Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky.
- - -�Dante Gabriel Rossetti "Silent Noon"
The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- - - Rabindranath Tagore "Stray Birds"
Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can
be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.�
- - - Mark Twain
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with
gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
- - - Richard Vaughan
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
- - - William H. Walton
The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.�
- - - Andy Warhol
How doth the little busy bee
Improve each shining hour,
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower!
- - - Isaac Watts "Divine Songs"
I'VE watched you now a full half-hour;
Self-poised upon that yellow flower
And, little Butterfly! indeed
I know not if you sleep or feed.
How motionless!--not frozen seas
More motionless! and then
What joy awaits you, when the breeze
Hath found you out among the trees,
And calls you forth again!
- - - William Wordsworth "To a Butterfly"
This great purple butterfly,
In the prison of my hands,
Has a learning in his eye
Not a poor fool understands.
- - - William Butler Yeats "Another Song of a Fool"

�City Quotes
God the first garden made, and the first city Cain.
- - - Abraham Cowley "The Garden"
The city as a center where, any day in any year, there may be a fresh encounter
with a new talent, a keen mind or a gifted specialist-this is essential to the life
of a country. To play this role in our lives a city must have a soul-a university,
a great art or music school, a cathedral or a great mosque or temple, a great
laboratory or scientific center, as well as the libraries and museums and galleries
that bring past and present together. A city must be a place where groups of women
and men are seeking and developing the highest things they know.
- - - Margaret Mead
The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
- - - Desmond Morris
In the morning the city
Spreads its wings
Making a song
In stone that sings.

In the evening the city

Goes to bed
Hanging lights
About its head.
- - - Langston Hughes
Oh, London is a man's town, there's power in the air;
And Paris is a woman's town, with flowers in her hair;
And it's sweet to dream in Venice, and it's great to study Rome;
But when it comes to living, there is no place like home.�
- - - Henry Van Dyke
Quotations about Boston
In the course of my life I have tried Boston socially on all sides: I have summered
it and wintered it, tried it drunk and tried it sober; and, drunk or sober, there's
nothing in it--save Boston!
- - - Charles Francis Adams, Jr.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself
up there.
- - - Fred Allen
And this is good old Boston,
The home of the bean and the cod,
Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,
And the Cabots talk only to God.
- - - John Collins Bossidy
I guess God made Boston on a wet Sunday.
- - - Raymond Chandler
It is not age which killed Boston, for no cities die of age; it is the youth of
other cities.
- - - W. L. George
Boston is not a small New York, as they say a child is not a small adult but is,
rather, a specially organized small creature with its small-creature's temperature,
balance, and distribution of fat. In Boston there is an utter absence of that wild
electric beauty of New York, of the marvelous, excited rush of people in taxicabs
at twilight, of the great Avenues and Streets, the restaurants, theatres, bars,
hotels, delicatessens, shops. In Boston the night comes down with an incredibly
heavy, small-town finality. The cows come home; the chickens go to roost; the
meadow is dark. Nearly every Bostonian is in his house or in someone else's house,
dining at the home board, enjoying domestic and social privacy.
- - - Elizabeth Hardwick "Boston: The Lost Ideal," Harper's Magazine (December
1959)
This is a town where there are three pastimes: politics, sports, and revenge.
- - - Lawrence C. Moulter
Quotations about Chicago
The Chicago Tribune has come out against syphilis. Bet you 8 to 5 syphilis will
win.
- - - Anonymous, 1940
Chicago is an October sort of city even in spring.
- - - Nelson Algren, Newsweek, August 13, 1984
Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose.
- - - Nelson Algren
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months,
and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so
tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
- - - Fred Allen, Much Ado About Me, 1956
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games
in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
- - - Dave Barry "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every Teen Should Know"
No realistic, sane person goes around Chicago without protection.
- - - Saul Bellow
I adore Chicago. It is the pulse of America.
- - - Sarah Bernhardt
It's a 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of
cigarettes; it's dark and we're wearing sun glasses. Hit it!
- - - The Blues Brothers
Perhaps the most typically American place in America.
- - - James Bryce, 1888
I am going to St. Petersburg, Florida, tomorrow. Let the worthy citizens of Chicago
get their liquor the best they can. I'm sick of the job--it's a thankless one and
full of grief. I've been spending the best years of my life as a public benefactor.
- - - Al Capone, 1927
Chicago is a city of contradictions, of private visions haphazardly overlaid and
linked together. If the city was unhappy with itself yesterday-and invariably it
was-it will reinvent itself today.
- - - Pat Colander "A Metropolis of No Little Plans" NY Times 5 May 85
I miss everything about Chicago, except January and February.
- - - Gary Cole
Could anything be more indicative of a slight but general insanity than the aspect
of the crowd on the streets of Chicago?
Charles Horton Cooley "Human Nature and the Social Order," 1902
Chicago is the product of modern capitalism, and, like other great commercial
centers, is unfit for human habitation.
- - - Eugene Debs, 1908
That's great advertising when you can turn Chicago into a city you'd want to spend
more than three hours in.
- - - Jerry Della Femina
There's only one thing for Chicago to do, and that's to move to a better
neighborhood.
- - - Herman Fetzer
Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin' town.
- - - Fred Fisher "Chicago," (1922)
You walk out of the Amphitheatre after watching the Rolling Stones perform and
suddenly the Chicago Stockyards smell clean and good by comaprison.
- - - Tom Fitzpatrick
A facade of skyscrapers facing a lake and behind the facade, every type of
dubiousness.
- - - E.M. Forster
I don't have any great love for Chicago. What the hell, a childhood around Douglas
Park isn't very memorable. I remember the street fights and how you were afraid to
cross the bridge 'cause the Irish kid on the other side would beat your head in. I
left Chicago a long time ago.
- - - "King of Swing" Benny Goodman, 1976
A lot of real Chicago lives in the neighborhood taverns. It is the mixed German and
Irish and Polish gift to the city, a bit of the old country grafted into a strong
new plant in the new.
- - - Bill Granger, 1983
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in
Chicago it's a sport. In Chicago not only your vote counts, but all kinds of other
votes--kids, dead folks, and so on.
- - - Dick Gregory, Dick Gregory's Political Primer, 1972
The last copy of the Chicago Daily News I picked up had three crime stories on its
front page. But by comparison to the gaudy days, this is small-time stuff. Chicago
is as full of crooks as a saw with teeth, but the era when they ruled the city is
gone forever.
- - - John Gunther, Inside U.S.A, 1947
Chicago sounds rough to the maker of verse. One comfort we have -- Cincinnati
sounds worse.
- - - Oliver Wendell Holmes, January, 1880
I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, "Gee,
I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go
west."
- - - Richard Jeni
I have struck a city - a real city - and they call it Chicago. . . . I urgently
desire never to see it again. It is inhabited by savages.
- - - Rudyard Kipling, 1891
I've reported murders, scandals, marriages, premieres and national political
conventions. I've been amused, intrigued, outraged, enthralled and exasperated by
Chicago. And I've come to love this American giant, viewing it as the most
misunderstood, most underrated city in the world. There is none other quite like my
City of Big Shoulders.
- - - Irv Kupcinet, who began Kup's Column in 1941
Chicago - a pompous Milwaukee.
- - - Leonard Louis Levinson
Chicago seems a big city instead of merely a large place.
- - - A. J. Liebling, first to designate Chicago "The Second City," 1949
Chicago was a town where nobody could forget how the money was made. It was picked
up from floors still slippery with blood.
- - - Norman Mailer, Miami and the Siege of Chicago, 1968
New York is one of the capitals of the world and Los Angeles is a constellation of
plastic, San Francisco is a lady, Boston has become Urban Renewal, Philadelphia and
Baltimore and Washington wink like dull diamonds in the smog of Eastern
Megalopolis, and New Orleans is unremarkable past the French Quarter. Detroit is a
one-trade town, Pittsburgh has lost its golden triangle, St. Louis has become the
golden arch of the corporation, and nights in Kansas City close early. The oil
depletion allowance makes Houston and Dallas naught but checkerboards for this sort
of game. But Chicago is a great American city. Perhaps it is the last of the great
American cities.
- - - Norman Mailer, Miami and the Siege of Chicago, 1968
I like to go to Marshall Field's in Chicago just to see how many things there are
in the world that I do not want.
- - - Mother Mary Madeleva, My First Seventy Years, 1959
There was no need to inform us of the protocol involved. We were from Chicago and
knew all about cement.
- - - Groucho Marx, pressing his hands into the cement at Grauman's Chinese Theater
in Hollywood.
I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and buttermilk.
It is American in every chitling and sparerib. It is alive from snout to tail.
- - - H. L. Mencken
Chicago is unique. It is the only completely corrupt city in America.
- - - Charles Merriam, unsuccessful mayoral candidate in 1911
Anywhere in the world you hear a Chicago bluesman play, it's a Chicago sound born
and bred.
- - - Ralph Metcalfe
Hell has been described as a pocket edition of Chicago.
- - - Ashley Montagu "The American Way Of Life," 1967
Gigantic, willful, young,
Chicago sitteth at the northwest gates.
- - - William Vaughn Moody "An Ode in Time of Hesitation," 1901
Chicago has a strange metaphysical elegance of death about it.
- - - Claes Oldenburg
There are almost no beautiful cities in America, though there are many beautiful
parts of cities, and some sections that are glorious without being beautiful, like
downtown Chicago. Cities are too big and too rich for beauty; they have outgrown
themselves too many times.
- - - Noel Perrin, Third Person Rural, 1983
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago...
- - - Dan Quayle
It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline.
- - - Will Rogers, June 22, 1930
Here is the difference between Dante, Milton, and me. They wrote about hell and
never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years
and years.
- - - Carl Sandburg, in Harry Golden, Carl Sandburg, 1961
Hog butcher for the world,
Tool maker, stacker of wheat,
Player with railroads and the nation's freight handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,
City of big shoulders.
- - - Carl Sandburg, "Chicago," 1916
In the twilight, it was a vision of power.
- - - Upton Sinclair, "The Jungle"
First in violence, deepest in dirt, lawless, unlovely, ill-smelling, irreverent,
new; an overgrown gawk of a - village, the "tough" among cities, a spectacle for
the nation.
- - - Lincoln Steffens, "The Shame of the Cities," 1904
Chicago will give you a chance. The sporting spirit is the spirit of Chicago.
- - - Lincoln Steffens "The Autobiography of Lincoln Steffens," 1931
Chicago is not the most corrupt American city. It's the most theatrically corrupt.
- - - Studs Terkel, 1978
It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she
outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for
she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
- - - Mark Twain "Life On The Mississippi," 1883
Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you
think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- - - Mark Twain "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," 1897
We struck the home trail now, and in a few hours were in that astonishing Chicago--
a city where they are always rubbing a lamp, and fetching up the genii, and
contriving and achieving new impossibilities. It is hopeless for the occasional
visitor to try to keep up with Chicago--she outgrows her prophecies faster than she
can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when
you passed through the last time.
- - - Mark Twain "Life on the Mississippi," 1883
Chicago, mistress of the lakes,
Controller of our inland trade,
The freest city of our states,
What wondrous strides thy fame has made!
- - - Charles Frederick White "To Chicago"
Your machinery is beautiful. Your society people have apologized to me for the
envious ridicule with which your newspapers have referred to me. Your newspapers
are comic but never amusing. Your Water Tower is a castellated monstrosity with
pepperboxes stuck all over it. I am amazed that any people could so abuse Gothic
art and make a structure not like a water tower but like a tower of a medieval
castle. It should be torn down. It is a shame to spend so much money on buildings
with such an unsatisfactory result. Your city looks positively dreary.
- - - Oscar Wilde, February 13, 1882
My first day in Chicago, September 4, 1983. I set foot in this city, and just
walking down the street, it was like roots, like the motherland. I knew I belonged
here.
- - - Oprah Winfrey
Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago
Tribune.
- - - Alexander Woollcott, 1943
Then stand to your glasses steady
And drink to your comrade's eyes
Here's a toast to the dead already
And hurrah for the next who dies.
- - - Drinking song popularized by Chicago reporters at the Whitechapel Club,
Chicago's informal version of Washington's Gridiron Club
Quotations about Cincinnati
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there
ten years later.�
- - - Will Rogers
Quotations about Florence
Everything about Florence seems to be colored with a mild violet, like diluted
wine.�
- - - Henry James
This is the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the
most satisfying to the eye and spirit. To see the sun sink down, drowned in his
pink and purple and golden floods, and overwhelm Florence with tides of color that
make all the sharp lines dim and faint and turn the solid city to a city of dreams,
is a sight to stir the coldest nature, and make a sympathetic one drunk with
ecstasy.�
- - - Mark Twain "Autobiography," 1924
Quotations about Hollywood
It's a great place to live ... if you're an orange.
- - - Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and
still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
- - - Fred Allen
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
- - - Candice Bergen
Hollywood ... was the place where the United States perpetrated itself as a
universal dream and put the dream into mass production.
- - - Angela Carter
Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a
ladder.
- - - William Faulkner
Hollywood has always been a cage . . . a cage to catch our dreams.
- - - John Huston
Hollywood, to hear some writers tell it, is the place where they take an author's
steak tartare and make cheeseburger out of it�. Upon seeing the film, they say, the
author promptly cuts his throat, bleeding to death in a pool of money.
- - - Fletcher Knebel
Hollywood is a place where the stars twinkle until they wrinkle.
- - - Victor Mature
A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.
- - - Wilson Mizner
Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $50,000 for a kiss and 50 cents for your
soul.
- - - Marilyn Monroe
Hollywood, where an intrigue and a victim are born every time two people meet.
- - - Terry Moore
It's a great place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there.
- - - Will Rogers
Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.
- - - Walter Winchell
Quotations about Jerusalem
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are
sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen
gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!�
- - - Bible, Matthew 23:37
Jerusalem is a festival and a lamentation. Its song is a sigh across the ages, a
delicate, robust, mournful psalm at the great junction of spiritual cultures.�
- - - David K Shipler
Quotations about London
That monstrous tuberosity of civilized life, the capital of England.
- - - Thomas Carlyle
London is a roost for every bird.
- - - Benjamin Disraeli
London, thou art of townes A per se.
Soveraign of cities, semeliest in sight,
Of high renoun, riches, and royaltie;
Of lordis, barons, and many goodly knyght;
Of most delectable lusty ladies bright;
Of famous prelatis in habitis clericall;
Of merchauntis full of substaunce and myght:
London, thou art the flour of Cities all
- - - William Dunbar
You find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when
a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life
can afford.
- - - Samuel Johnson
When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.
- - - Bette Midler "London Times 21 Sep 78"
London, that great sea, whose ebb and flow
At once is deaf and loud.
- - - Percy Bysshe Shelley
Gay go up and gay go down,
To ring the bells of London town.
Halfpence and farthings,
Say the bells of St. Martin's.
Oranges and lemons,
Say the bells of St. Clement's.
- - - Unknown "The Bells of London"
This melancholy London - I sometimes imagine that the souls of the lost are
compelled to walk through its streets perpetually. One feels them passing like a
whiff of air.
- - - W. B. Yeats
Quotations about Los Angeles
I used to like this town.... Los Angeles was just a big dry sunny place with ugly
homes and no style, but good-hearted and peaceful.... Now ... we've got the big
money, the sharpshooters, the percentage workers, the fast dollar boys, the
hoodlums out of New York and Chicago and Detroit-and Cleveland. We've got the flash
restaurants and night clubs they run, and the hotels and apartment houses they own,
and the grifters and con men and female bandits that live in the. The luxury
trades, the pansy decorators, the Lesbian dress designers, the riff-raff of a big
hardboiled city with no more personality than a paper cup.
- - - Raymond Chandler (Philip Marlowe, in "The Little Sister")
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall
from the trees.
- - - David Letterman
The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.
- - - Rush Limbaugh
This is the city. Los Angeles, California. I work here. I carry a badge. My name's
Friday. The story you are about to see is true; the names have been changed to
protect the innocent.
- - - Jack Webb (Sergeant Joe Friday, in "Dragnet")
Quotations about Miami
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.�
- - - Lenny Bruce
Quotations about New Orleans
New Orleans is one of the two most ingrown, self-obsessed little cities in the
United States. (The other is San Francisco.)�
- - - Nora Ephron
Quotations about New York
I love New York City; I've got a gun.
- - - Charles Barkley
New York ... is a city of geometric heights, a petrified desert of grids and
lattices, an inferno of greenish abstraction under a flat sky, a real Metropolis
from which man is absent by his very accumulation.
- - - Roland Barthes
New York is a sucked orange.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Not only is New York City the nation's melting pot, it is also the casserole, the
chafing dish and the charcoal grill.
- - - John V Lindsay, Mayor of NYC, NY Times 10 Nov 66
Ah! some love Paris,
And some Purdue.
But love is an archer with a low I.Q.
A bold, bad bowman, and innocent of pity.
So I'm in love with
New York City.
- - - Phyllis McGinley "A Kind of Love Letter to New York"
A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good
manners.
- - - Mignon McLaughlin
The City of New York is like an enormous citadel, a modern Carcassonne. Walking
between the magnificent skyscrapers one feels the presence on the fringe of a
howling, raging mob, a mob with empty bellies, a mob unshaven and in rags.
- - - Henry Miller
New York, the nation's thyroid gland.
- - - Christopher Morley
And New York is the most beautiful city in the world? It is not far from it. No
urban night is like the night there.... Squares after squares of flame, set up and
cut into the aether. Here is our poetry, for we have pulled down the stars to our
will.
- - - Ezra Pound
I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and New York was the only
place where my fears were justified.
- - - Anita Weiss
The siren south is well enough, but New York, at the beginning of March, is a
hoyden we would not care to miss-a drafty wench, her temperature up and down, full
of bold promises and dust in the eye.
- - - E. B. White
New York is the great stone desert.
- - - Israel Zangwill
Quotations about Paris
If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go
for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.
- - - Ernest Hemingway
When Paris sneezes, Europe catches cold.
- - - Prince Metternich
April in Paris, chestnuts in blossom, holiday tables under the trees.
- - - E.Y. Harburg
I love Paris in the summer, when it sizzles.
- - - Cole Porter "I Love Paris"
When good Americans die they go to Paris.
- - - Oscar Wilde
Quotations about Philadelphia
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.�
- - - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Quotations about Rome
Rome was a poem pressed into service as a city.
- - - Anatole Broyard
O Rome! my country! city of the soul!
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage"
Rome was not built in one day.
- - - John Heywood "Proverbs" (1546)
Quotations about Saigon
Saigon was an addicted city, and we were the drug: the corruption of children, the
mutilation of young men, the prostitution of women, the humiliation of the old, the
division of the family, the division of the country-it had all been done in our
name.... The French city ... had represented the opium stage of the addiction. With
the Americans had begun the heroin phase.�
- - - James Fenton
Quotations about San Francisco
To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars.
- - - Douglass Cross "I Left My Heart in San Francisco"
San Francisco is a mad city - inhabited for the most part by perfectly insane
people whose women are of a remarkable beauty.
- - - Rudyard Kipling (1891)
It is an odd thing, but every one who disappears is said to be seen at San
Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the
next world.
- - - Oscar Wilde (Lord Henry, in "The Picture of Dorian Gray")
Quotations about Venice
My beautiful, my own
My only Venice-this is breath! Thy breeze
Thine Adrian sea-breeze, how it fans my face!
Thy very winds feel native to my veins,
And cool them into calmness!
- - - George Gordon Noel Byron "The Two Foscari"
Venice once was dear,
The pleasant place of all festivity,
The revel of the earth, the masque of Italy.
- - - George Gordon Noel Byron "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage"
Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
- - - Truman Capote
Until it seems the whole city (Venice-Venus)
will be covered with gold pollen shaken
from the bell-towers, lilies plundered
with the weight of massive bees . . .
- - - Hilda Doolittle "Tribute to the Angels"
A city for beavers.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is the city of mirrors, the city of mirages, at once solid and liquid, at once
air and stone.
- - - Erica Jong
White swan of cities slumbering in thy nest . . .�
White phantom city, whose untrodden streets
Are rivers, and whose pavements are the shifting
Shadows of the palaces and strips of sky.
- - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Venice"
This was Venice, the flattering and suspect beauty-this city, half fairy tale and
half tourist trap, in whose insalubrious air the arts once rankly and voluptuously
blossomed, where composers have been inspired to lulling tones of somniferous
eroticism.
- - - Thomas Mann
Underneath Day's azure eyes,
Ocean's nursling, Venice lies, -
A peopled labyrinth of walls,
Amphitrite's destined halls,
- - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "Lines Written among the Euganean Hills"
Quotations About Washington, D.C.
Aside from the murders, DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
- - - Marion Barry
People come to Washington believing it is the center of power. I know I did. It was
only much later that I learned that Washington is a steering wheel that's not
connected to an engine.�
- - - Richard Goodwin
... Washington was not only an important capital. It was a city of fear. Below that
glittering and delightful surface there is another story, that of underpaid
Government clerks, men and women holding desperately to work that some political
pull may at any moment take from them. A city of men in office and clutching that
office, and a city of struggle which the country never suspects.
- - - Mary Roberts Rinehart
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- - - Harry S Truman
At a Washington party, it is not enough that the guests feel drunk; they must feel
drunk and important.
- - - Thomas Wolfe

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

- - - Thomas A. Edison
We are unalterably opposed to the presentation of the female body being stripped,
bound, raped, tortured, mutilated and murdered in the name of commercial
entertainment and free speech.�
- - - Susan Brownmiller "Against Our Will: Men, Women and Rape"
The body is a sacred garment.�
- - - Martha Graham
The body says what words cannot.
- - - Martha Graham
It takes more than just a good looking body. You've got to have the heart and soul
to go with it.
- - - Lee Haney
The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it
rejects it.�
- - - P. B. Medawar
A married woman has the same right to control her own body as does an unmarried
woman.�
- - - Sol Wachtler, Judge, NY State Court of Appeals [Unanimous opinion that a man
may be prosecuted for raping his wife, 20 Dec 84]
QUOTATIONS ABOUT BLOOD
I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: "I
have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."
- - - Sir Winston Churchill
Blood alone moves the wheels of history.
- - - Benito Mussolini
Blood is a cleansing and sanctifying thing, and the nation that regards it as the
final horror has lost its manhood... there are many things more horrible than
bloodshed, and slavery is one of them!
- - - Padraic Pearse
Blood is that fragile scarlet tree we carry within us.
- - - Sir Osbert Sitwelll
QUOTATIONS ABOUT THE BRAIN
The more you use your brain, the more brain you will have to use.�
- - - George A. Dorsey
A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is
likely to need, and the rest he can put away in the lumber room of his library,
where he can get it if he wants it.
- - - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the
morning and does not stop until you get into the office.�
- - - Robert Frost
It is good to rub and polish our brain against that of others.
- - - Michel deMontaigne
The more you use your brain, the more brain you will have to use.
- - - George A. Dorsey
I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both.�
- - - Patricia Schroeder
I use not only all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.
- - - Woodrow Wilson
QUOTATIONS ABOUT EARS
What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open
and shut our eyes!�
- - - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.�
- - - Frank Tyger
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.�
- - - Woodrow Wyatt
QUOTATIONS ABOUT EYES
Eyes too expressive to be blue,
Too lovely to be grey.
- - - Sir Edwin Arnold
Her sparkling eyes could replace the sun
and her smile, brighten the sky
with her, anything is within my grasp
even the ability to fly
- - - M. R. Brice
An eye can threaten like a loaded and levelled gun, or it can insult like hissing
or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart
dance for joy.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
There's beauty in the silver singing river
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky
But none of these and nothing else can match the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes
- - - Bob Dylan "Tomorrow is a Long Time"
Eyes like the starlight of the soft midnight,
So darkly beautiful, so deeply bright.
- - - C. H. W. Esling
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
- - - Mohandas K. Gandhi
The eyes have one language everywhere.
- - - George Herbert
Her eyes the glowworm lend thee,
The shooting stars attend thee;
And the elves also,
Whose little eyes glow
Like the sparks of fire, befriend thee.
- - - Robert Herrick "The Night Piece to Julia"
So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do
You see I've forgotten, if they're green or they're blue
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen.
- - - Elton John / Bernie Taupin
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having
new eyes.
- - - Marcel Proust
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets
of the heart.�
- - - Saint Jerome
My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected.
- - - Anna M. Uhlich
Was she so loved because her eyes were so beautiful or were her eyes so beautiful
because she was loved?
- - - Anzia Yezierska
QUOTATIONS ABOUT HAIR
Gray hairs are death's blossoms.
- - - English Proverb
Babies haven't any hair;
Old men's heads are just as bare;
Between the cradle and the grave
Lies a haircut and a shave
- - - Samuel Hoffenstein
The hair is the richest ornament of women.
- - - Martin Luther
QUOTATIONS ABOUT HANDS
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands�
- - - e e cummings "Somewhere I have Never Traveled"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT THE HEAD
Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them.
- - - Coco Chanel
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
- - - H. W. Dodds
How many times can a man turn his head, and pretend that he just doesn't see?
- - - Bob Dylan "Blowing in the Wind"
Better a bald head than none at all.
- - - Austin O'Malley
Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
- - - William Shakespeare "Henry IV"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT THE HEART
Two things are bad for the heart ... running up stairs and running down people.
- - - Bernard M. Baruch
Win hearts, and you have all men's hands and purses.�
- - - William Cecil Burleigh
When your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme.
- - - Jimminy Cricket
Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go
- - - Louise Driscoll
Tears may be dried up, but the heart - never.�
- - - Marguerite de Valois
The heart is like a viper, hissing and spitting poison at God.
- - - Jonathan Edwards
Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.
- - - Zelda Fitzgerald
If you haven't any charity in your heart, then you have the worst kind of heart
trouble.
- - - Bob Hope
When I was one and twenty
I heard a wise man say,
Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away.
- - - A. E. Housman
Great tranquillity of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame.
- - - Thomas A. Kempis
The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from
all four corners of heaven.�
- - - Martin Luther
My heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill.
- - - Fiona Macleod "The Lonely Hunter"
The heart is a free and fetterless thing -
A wave of the ocean, a bird on the wing.
- - - Julia Pardoe "The Captive Greek Girl"
The heart has reasons of which reason has no knowledge.
- - - Blaise Pascal
You don't die of a broken heart, you only wish you did.
- - - Marilyn Peterson
Time bears away all things, even the heart.
- - - Virgil
QUOTATIONS ABOUT TEARS
Tears are the summer showers to the soul
- - - Alfred Austin
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
- - - John Vance Cheney
Oh, no, it can't be teardrops
'Cause a man ain't supposed to cry.
- - - Dee Clark
Tears may be dried up, but the heart - never.
- - - Marguerite de Valois
Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
- - - Dorothy Parker
Sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears.
- - - Paul Simon
Tears are the silent language of grief.
- - - Voltaire
And with tears of blood he cleansed the hand,
The hand that held the steel:
For only blood can wipe out blood,
And only tears can heal.
- - - Oscar Wilde "The Ballad of Reading Gaol"
QUOTATIONS ABOUT THE TONGUE
The tongue of man is a twisty thing.
- - - Homer "Iliad"
A tart temper never mellows with age; and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool
that grows keener with constant use.
- - - Washington Irving
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.�
- - - Oscar Levant
QUOTATIONS ABOUT THE VOICE
The human voice is the organ of the soul.
- - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
- - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
My tongue is smiling.
- - - Abigail Trillin, age four - On finishing a dish of chocolate ice cream,
quoted by her father Calvin Trillin, "Alice, Let�s Eat "

Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John,

The bed be blest that I lie on.
Four angels to my bed.
Four angels round my head,
One to watch, and one to pray,
And two to bear my soul away.
- - - - Thomas Ady "A Candle in the Dark"
A fool without fear is sometimes wiser than an angel with fear.
- - - - Lady Nancy Astor "My Two Countries"
Though in the order of nature angels rank above men, yet, by scale of justice, good
men are of greater value than bad angels.
- - - - Saint Augustine
The desire of power in excess caused the angels to fall; the desire of knowledge in
excess caused man to fall.
- - - - Francis Bacon
I want to be an angel,
And with the angels stand
A crown upon my forehead,
A harp within my hand.
- - - - Urania Locke Bailey
To the most lovely, the most dear,
The Angel, and the deathless grail
Who fill my heart with radiance clear -
In immortality all hail.
- - - - Charles Baudelaire
We stand awkward between the earthloving beast and the cool, hot electronic angel.
- - - - Greg Bear
Angels - All the people who worshipped God on earth and like meant it get to be
angels. That means they get to fly around and play old time guitars and stuff. But
what sucks is that only God and Jesus and his like roadies get to have beards and
stuff. It's like ZZ Top's family or something.
- - - - From "Beavis And Butt-head Ensucklopedia"
See I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way.
- - - - Bible - Exodus 23:20
There is joy in the presence of the angels.
- - - - Bible - Luke 15:10
We should not forget to entertain strangers, lest we entertain angels unaware.
- - - - Bible - Hebrews 13:2
Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting lower ever
since.
- - - - Josh Billings
As I was walking among the fires of Hell, delighted with the enjoyments of Genius;
which to Angels look like torment and insanity, I collected some of their Proverbs.
- - - - William Blake
For the tear is an intellectual thing,
And a sigh is the sword of an Angel King;
And the bitter groan of a martyr's woe
As an arrow from the Almighty's bow.
- - - - William Blake "The Gray Monk"
It is not because angels are holier than men or devils that makes them angels, but
because they do not expect holiness from one another, but from God alone.
- - - - William Blake
The Angel that presided o'er my birth
Said, "Little creature, formed of joy and mirth,
Go love without the help of any thing on earth.
- - - - William Blake "The Angel That Presided"
My delight and thy delight
Walking, like two angels white,
In the gardens of the night.
- - - - Robert Bridges
The angel of death has been abroad throughout the land; you may almost hear the
beating of his wings.
- - - - John Bright
Think, in mounting higher,
The angels would press on us, and aspire
To drop some golden orb of perfect song
Into our deep, dear silence.
- - - - Elizabeth Barrett Browning"Sonnet XXII"
Unless you can love, as the angels may,
With the breadth of heaven betwixt you;
Unless you can dream that his faith is fast,
Through behoving and unbeloving;
Unless you can die when the dream is past--
Oh, never call it loving!
- - - - Robert Browning
The Angels were all singing out of tune,
And hoarse with having little else to do,
Excepting to wind up the sun and moon
Or curb a runaway young star or two.
- - - - George Gordon, Lord Byron
What though my winged hours of bliss have been,
Like angel visits, few and far between.
- - - - Thomas Campbell "Pleasures of Hope"
Music is well said to be the speech of angels.
- - - - Thomas Carlyle
We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with
diamonds.
- - - - Anton Chekhov
The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly.
- - - - G. K. Chesterton "Orthodoxy"
Flowers have spoken to me more than I can tell in written words. They are the
hieroglyphics of angels, loved by all men for the beauty of the character, though
few can decipher even fragments of their meaning.
- - - - Lydia M. Child
I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.
- - - - Jean Cocteau
If a man is not rising upwards to be an angel, depend upon it, he is sinking
downwards to be a devil.
- - - - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
A pillow for thee will I bring,
Stuffed with down of angel's wing.
- - - - Richard Crashaw
Angels descending, bring from above,
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
- - - - Fanny J. Crosby
Jealousy is the sister of love, as the Devil is the brother of angels.
- - - - Marie-Fran�ois de Beauveau
We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one
another.
- - - - Luciano de Crescenzo
To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is
angelic.
- - - - Alphonse Marie de Lamartine
Make friends with the angels, who though invisible are always with you. Often
invoke them, constantly praise them, and make good use of their help and assistance
in all your temporal and spiritual affairs.
- - - - Saint Francis de Sales
Make yourself familiar with the angels and behold them frequently in spirit; for
without being seen, they are present with you.
- - - - Saint Francis de Sales
The devil is an angel too.�
- - - - Miguel de Unamuno
We trust in plumed procession
For such the angels go--
Rank after Rank, with even feet--
And uniforms of Snow.
- - - - Emily Dickinson
The question is this: Is man an ape or an angel? I am on the side of the angels.
- - - - Benjamin Disraeli (Speech, Nov. 25, 1864)
Twice or thrice I loved thee
Before I knew thy face or name
So in a voice, so in shapeless flame,
Angels affect us oft, and worshipped be
- - - - John Donne "Air and Angels"
All the Utopias will come to pass only when we grow wings and all people are
converted into angels.
- - - - Fedor Dostoevsky "The Diary of a Writer"
The soul at its highest is found like God, but an angel gives a closer idea of Him.
That is all an angel is: an idea of God.
- - - - Meister Eckhart
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand;
the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
- - - - George Elliot
He who loves goodness harbors angels, reveres reverence, and lives with God.
- - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Pride ruined the angels.
- - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The angels are so enamored of the language that is spoken in heaven that they will
not distort their lips with the hissing and unmusical dialects of men, but speak
their own, whether their be any who understand it or not.
- - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man, who has seen the rising moon break out of the clouds at midnight, has been
present like an archangel at the creation of light and of the world.
- - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
There was a pause - just long enough for an angel to pass, flying slowly.
- - - - Ronald Firbank "Vainglory"
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
- - - - David Fyfe
Every time you hear a bell ring, it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- - - - Frances Goodrich and Frank Capra "It's a Wonderful Life"
Earth has one angel less and heaven one more, since yesterday.
- - - - Nathaniel Hawthorne
He mourns that day so soon has glided by:
E'en like the passage of an angel's tear
That falls through the clear ether silently
- - - - John Keats
Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
- - - - John Keats
A fine thing to be talking about angels in this day when common thieves smash the
holy rosaries of their victims in the street...
- - - - Jack Kerouac "Desolation Angels"
The sin, both of men and of angels, was rendered possible by the fact that God gave
them free will.
- - - - C. S. Lewis "Miracles"
We were made to be neither cerebral men nor visceral men, but Men. Not beasts nor
angels but Men - things at once rational and animal.
- - - - C. S. Lewis "The Pilgrim's Regress"
I am the Angel of the Sun
Whose flaming wheels began to run
When God 's almighty breath
Said to the darkness and the Night,
Let there be light! and there was light.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven,
Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Evangeline"
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone that soar above,
Enjoy such liberty.
- - - - Richard Lovelace
All God's angels come to us disguised.
- - - - James Russell Lowell
I saw the angel in the marble and I just chiseled until I set him free.
- - - - Michelangelo
Look homeward, Angel, now, and melt with ruth.
- - - - John Milton "Paradise Lost"
Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth�
Unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep.
- - - - John Milton "Paradise Lost"
O welcome, pure-eyed Faith, white-handed Hope,
Thou hovering angel, girt with golden wings!
- - - - John Milton "Comus"
In thoughts of the visions of the night, I saw long rows of angels in paradise,
each with his hands in a jar of spermaceti.
- - - - Herman Melville "Moby Dick"
A beautiful death is for people who have lived like animals to die like angels.
- - - - Mother Teresa
Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and the angels
know of us.
- - - - Thomas Paine
Do I not deal with angels
When her lips I touch.
- - - - Kenneth Patchen
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy
gong or a clanging cymbal.
- - - - Saint Paul
I saw the tracks of angels in the earth,�
The beauty of heaven walking by itself on the world.
- - - - Petrarch
And neither the angels in Heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the Beautiful Annabel Lee.
- - - - Edgar Allan Poe "Annabel Lee"
There are nine orders of angels, to wit, angels, archangels, virtues, powers,
principalities, dominations, thrones, cherubim, and seraphim.
- - - - Pope Gregory The Great
An angel of Paradise, no less, is always beside me, wrapped in everlasting ecstasy
on his Lord. So I am ever under the gaze of an angel who protects and prays for me.
- - - - Pope John XXIII
Ambition ... The glorious fault of angels and of gods.
- - - - Alexander Pope
Men would be angels, angels would be gods.
- - - - Alexander Pope
It may be that Death's bright angel
Will speak in that chord again, -
It may be that only in Heaven
I shall hear that grand Amen.
- - - - Adelaide Anne Proctor "A Lost Chord"
The guardian angels of life fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are
always looking down upon us.
- - - - Jean Paul Richter
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels' hierarchies?
And even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart:
I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror,
Which we are just able to endure,
And we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Every angel is terrifying.
- - - - Rainer Maria Rilke
Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head
of a pin, but materialists have always known it depends on whether they are
jitterbugging or dancing cheek to cheek.
- - - - Tom Robbins
Time is man's angel.
- - - - Johann Friedrich von Schiller
A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.
- - - - Albert Schweitzer
It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold:
"Peace on earth, good will to men
From Heaven's all - gracious King" -
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.
- - - - Edmund Hamilton Sears "The Angels' Song"
An angel; or, if not,
An earthly paragon.�
- - - - William Shakespeare "Cymbeline"
Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Macbeth"
Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night sweet prince,
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Hamlet"
O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art
As glorious to this night, beign o'er my head,
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wond'ring eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him,
When he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds,
And sails upon the bosom of the air.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Romeo and Juliet"
O, what man may within him hide,
Though angel on the outward side!
- - - - William Shakespeare "Measure for Measure"
In Heaven an angel is nobody in particular.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw
God and all angels sing the world to sleep,
Now that the moon is rising in the heat
And crickets are loud again in the grass. The moon
Burns in the mind on lost remembrances.
- - - - Wallace Stevens "The Men That Are Falling"
Every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers, ''grow! grow!''
- - - - The Talmud
To wish to act like angels while we are still in this world is nothing but folly.
- - - - Saint Theresa of Avila
The angels keep their ancient places; --
Turn but a stone, and start a wing!
It's you, it's your estranged faces,
That miss the many-splendored thing.
- - - - Francis Thompson
I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened
yet.
- - - - Mark Twain "An Autobiography"
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
- - - - Mark Twain
It is not known precisely where angels dwell--whether in the air, the void, or the
planets. It has not been God's pleasure that we should be informed of their abode.
- - - - Voltaire
I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.
- - - - Mae West
Outside the open window
The morning air is all awash with angels.
- - - - Richard Purdy Wilbur
I will not wish thee riches, nor the glow of greatness,
but that wherever thou go some weary heart shall gladden at thy smile,
or shadowed life know sunshine for a while.
And so thy path shall be a track of light,
like angels' footsteps passing through the night.
- - - - (words on a church wall in Upwaltham England)
A perfect woman, nobly planned,
To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light
- - - - William Wordsworth "She Was a Phantom of Delight"
An angel's arm can't snatch me from the grave; legions of angels can't confine me
there.
- - - - Edward Young

I live now on borrowed time, waiting in the anteroom for the summons that will
inevitably come. And then - I go on to the next thing, whatever it is. One doesn't
luckily have to bother about that.
- - - - Agatha Christie, An Autobiography, 1977
Better to die a thousand deaths than wound my honor.
- - - - Joseph Addison
Death should not be seen as the end but as a very effective way to cut down
expenses.
- - - - Woody Allen
I answer the heroic question "Death, where is they sting?" with "It is here in my
heart and mind and memories."
- - - - Maya Angelou
We do not want to destroy any people. It is precisely because we have been
advocating coexistence that we have shed so much blood.
- - - - Yasser Arafat
Death not merely ends life, it also bestows upon it a silent completeness, snatched
from the hazardous flux to which all things human are subject.
- - - - Elizabeth Arden "The Life of the Mind"
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
- - - - Richard Bach
Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in
children is increased with tales, so is the other.�
- - - - Francis Bacon
If it's natural to kill why do men have to go into training to learn how?
- - - - Joan Baez
But, O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those
they loved, I shall always be near you; In the gladdest days and in the darkest
nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it
shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my
spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee,
for we shall meet again.
- - - - Major Sullivan Ballou, to his wife, a week before his death in 1861
Every time a child says "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy
somewhere that falls down dead.
- - - - James Matthew Barrie
To die will be an awfully big adventure.
- - - - James Matthew Barrie
Living is death; dying is life. We are not what we appear to be. On this side of
the grave we are exiles, on that citizens; on this side orphans, on that children.�
- - - - Henry Ward Beecher
Death is as sure for that which is born, as birth is for that which is dead.
Therefore grieve not for what is inevitable.�
- - - - Bhagavad Gita
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
- - - - Bible - 1 Corinthians 55
Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.�
- - - - Bible - Genesis 3:19
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A
time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck that which
is planted.
- - - - Bible - Ecclesiastes 3:1
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
- - - - Bible - Psalms 23:4
Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a
retroactive effect.
- - - - Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary"
Though boys throw stones at frogs in sport, the frogs do not die in sport, but in
earnest.
- - - - Bion
Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks
towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw
nigh.�
- - - - Robert Bolt
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
- - - - Erma Bombeck
It cost about 75 cents to kill a man in Ceasar's time. The price rose to about
$3,000 per man during the Napoleonic wars; to $5,000 in the American Civil War; and
then to $21,000 per man in World War I. Estimates for the future wars indicate that
it may cost the warring countries not less than $50,000 for each man killed.
- - - - Senator Homer T. Bone
In the midst of life we are in death.�
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the
Resurrection into eternal life . . . .
- - - - Book of Common Prayer "The Burial of the Dead" (1662)
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
- - - - Dion Boucicault
We all want to be happy, and we're all going to die. � You might say those are the
only two unchallengeably true facts that apply to every human being on this planet.
- - - - William Boyd
You can't get out of life alive.
- - - - Les Brown
The human animal dances wildest on the edge of the grave.
- - - - Rita Mae Brown
I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead.
- - - - Jimmy Buffet
Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived
completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct
response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile.
- - - - Julie Burchill
There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own
death.
- - - - Samuel Butler
Capital punishment is the most premeditated of murders, to which no criminal's
deed, however calculated can be compared. For there to be an equivalency, the death
penalty would have to punish a criminal who had warned his victim of the date at
which he would inflict a horrible death on him and who, from that moment onward,
had confined him at his mercy for months. Such a monster is not encountered in
private life.
- - - - Albert Camus
Rest is for the dead.
- - - - Thomas Carlyle
Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave,
something else happens.
- - - - Lillian Carter
In the stars is written the death of every man.
- - - - Geoffrey Chaucer
Death and sorrow will be the companions of our journey; hardship our garment;
constancy and valor our only shield. We must be united, we must be undaunted, we
must be inflexible.
- - - - Winston Churchill
Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only
be killed once, but in politics many times.
- - - - Winston Churchill
When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.
- - - - Winston Churchill
Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me,
without hurrying.
- - - - Jean Cocteau
Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes
prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they
are afraid to live.
- - - - Charles Caleb Colton "The Lacon" (1829)
Our life is made by the death of others.�
- - - - Leonardo da Vinci
If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.
- - - - Clarence Day
It is not in giving life but in risking life that man is raised above the animal;
that is why superiority has been accorded in humanity not to the sex that brings
forth but to that which kills.
- - - - Simone de Beauvoir "The Second Sex"
Man's destructive hand spares nothing that lives; he kills to feed himself, he
kills to clothe himself, he kills to adorn himself, he kills to attack, he kills to
defend himself, he kills to instruct himself, he kills to amuse himself, he kills
for the sake of killing.
- - - - Josef de Maistre
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of
robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from
that to incivility and procrastination.
- - - - Thomas De Quincey
He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay,
more present than the living man.
- - - - Antoine de Saint �xup�ry
Self-destruction is the effect of cowardice, in the highest extreme.
- - - - Daniel Defoe
Unable are the Loved to die�
For Love is Immortality.�
- - - - Emily Dickinson
No man is an Island, entire of it self; every man is a piece of the Continent, a
part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well
as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were;
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore
never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
- - - - John Donne "Devotions XVII"
Men create war to compete with women, who create life.
- - - - Sharon Doubiago
The slanderer and the assassin differ only in the weapon they use; with the one it
is the dagger, with the other the tongue. The former is worse that the latter, for
the last only kills the body, while the other murders the reputation.
- - - - Tyron Edwards
We weep over the graves of infants and the little ones taken from us by death; but
an early grave may be the shortest way to heaven.
- - - - Tryon Edwards
Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had
our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat, we say we have
had our day.�
- - - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Death, the most dreaded of evils, is therefore of no concern to us; for while we
exist death is not present, and when death is present we no longer exist.
- - - - Epicurus
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy
Sunday afternoon.
- - - - Susan Ertz "Anger in the Sky" (1943)
What greater pain could mortals have than this:�
To see their children dead before their eyes?�
- - - - Euripedes
He who doesn't fear death dies only once.
- - - - Giovanni Falcone
Death is an eternal sleep.�
- - - - Joseph Fouch�
No neurotic harbors thoughts of suicide which are not murderous impulses against
others redirected upon himself.
- - - - Sigmund Freud "Beyond the Pleasure Principle" (1920)
Live as you will have wished to have lived when you are dying.
- - - - Christian Furchtegott Gellert
We who are left how shall we look again�
Happily on the sun or feel the rain�
Without remembering how they who went�
Ungrudgingly and spent�
Their lives for us loved, too, the sun and rain?�
- - - - Wilfred Wilson Gibson
Death? Why this fuss about death? Use your imagination, try to visualize a world
without death! Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil.
- - - - Charlotte Perkins Gilman "The Living of Charlotte Perkins Gilman"
When we can't dream any longer we die.
- - - - Emma Goldman
Often in winter the end of the day is like the final metaphor in a poem celebrating
death: there is no way out.
- - - - Agustin Gomez-Arcos "A Bird Burned Alive"
Success has killed more men than bullets.
- - - - Texas Guinan
Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.
- - - - Bishop Hall
Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a
fulfillment.
- - - - Dag Hammarskjold
Capital punishment is our society's recognition of the sanctity of human right.
- - - - Orrin Hatch
On the subject of wild mushrooms, it is easy to tell who is an expert and who is
not: The expert is the one who is still alive.
- - - - Donal Henahan
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for
life.
- - - - Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976
War is death's feast.
- - - - George Herbert "Outlandish Proverbs"
Only the young die good.
- - - - Oliver Herford
If I can send the flower of the German nation into the hell of war without the
smallest pity for the shedding of precious German blood, then surely I have the
right to remove millions of an inferior race that breeds like vermin.
- - - - Adolf Hitler
The call of death is a call of love. Death can be sweet if we answer it in the
affirmative, if we accept it as one of the great eternal forms of life and
transformation.�
- - - - Hermann Hesse
Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
- - - - Herbert Hoover
Tis after death that we measure men.
- - - - James Barron Hope
Life death all does end and each day dies with sleep.
- - - - Gerard Manley Hopkins "No Worst, There is None"
So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private citizens
will occasionally kill theirs.
- - - - Elbert Hubbard
Ignore death up to the last moment; then, when it can't be ignored any longer, have
yourself squirted full of morphia and shuffle off in a coma. Thoroughly sensible,
humane and scientific, eh?�
- - - - Aldous Huxley
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
- - - - Delores Ibarruri
In the democracy of the dead all men at last are equal. There is neither rank nor
station nor prerogative in the republic of the grave.�
- - - - John James Ingalls
Death is psychologically as important as birth . . . Shrinking away from it is
something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose.
- - - - Carl Gustav Jung, January 16, 1961
Suicide is not abominable because God prohibits it; God prohibits it because it is
abominable.
- - - - Immanuel Kant
So passes away the glory of this world. ('Sic transit gloria mundi.')
- - - - Thomas A. Kempis
In the long run, we are all dead.
- - - - John Maynard Keynes
The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule beings.
- - - - Soren Kierkegaard
If man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
- - - - Martin Luther King, June 23, 1963
Every soul must taste of death.
- - - - Koran
Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a
million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear
into the endless night forever.
- - - - Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross, "On Death and Dying," 1969
I often say a great doctor kills more people than a great general.
- - - - G. W. Leibniz
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
- - - - Rush Limbaugh
He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
There is no such thing as death. In nature nothing dies. From each sad remnant of
decay, some forms of life arise so shall his life be taken away before he knoweth
that he hath it.
- - - - Charles Mackay
A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.�
- - - - Thomas Mann
Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing
whatsoever to do with it.
- - - - William Somerset Maugham
If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded
at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.
- - - - Don Marquis "The Almost Perfect State"
...it is only death which is hopeless.
- - - - Maria McIntosh
No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow to see him
commit suicide for her.
- - - - H. L. Mencken
A suicide kills two people . . . that's what it's for.
- - - - Arthur Miller "After the Fall"
Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.
- - - - John Milton "Paradise Lost"
Men fear death, as if unquestionably the greatest evil, and yet no man knows that
it may not be the greatest good.�
- - - - William Mitford
We die only once, and for such a long time!
- - - - Moliere
The dead have nothing except the memory they've left.
- - - - Ferenc Moln�r
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
- - - - Ashley Montagu
A beautiful death is for people who have lived like animals to die like angels.
- - - - Mother Teresa
I desire to go to Hell, not to Heaven. In Hell I shall enjoy the company of popes,
kings and princes, but in Heaven are only beggars, monks, hermits and apostles.
- - - - Niccolo Machiavelli
Abortion is the greatest destroyer of peace because if a mother can kill her own
child, what is left for me to kill you, and you to kill me? There is nothing
between.
- - - - Mother Theresa
As death, when we come to consider it closely, is the true goal of our existence, I
have formed during the last few years such close relations with this best and
truest friend of mankind, that his image is not only no longer terrifying to me,
but is indeed very soothing and consoling! And I thank my God for graciously
granting me the opportunity of learning that death is the key which unlocks the
door to our true happiness.
- - - - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.
- - - - Edvard Munch
Defeat is worse than death because you live with defeat.
- - - - Bill Musselman
The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is
but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.
- - - - Vladimir Nabokov
Why do we kill people who are killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
- - - - Holly Near
To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one's own
free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness,
consummated in the midst of children and witnesses: so that an actual leave-taking
is possible while he who is leaving is still there.
- - - - Friedrich Nietzsche "Expeditions of an Untimely Man"
Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.
- - - - Anais Nin
During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the
supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How
come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?
- - - - P. J. O'Rourke
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of
death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much
more effective.�
- - - - P. J. O'Rourke
The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a
funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and
loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
- - - - P. J. O'Rourke "Modern Manners"
Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another
still.
- - - - William Penn "Some Fruits of Solitude"
The cemetery of the victims of human cruelty in our century is extended to include
yet another vast cemetery, that of the unborn.
- - - - Pope John Paul II, London, 9 June 1991
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride,
In her sepulcher there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
- - - - Edgar Allan Poe "Annabell Lee"
I've been thinking of death a lot, and I am amazed by its inevitability,
frightened, as we all are, of the totally unknown, and yet feel a long sleep is
somehow earned by those of us who live on the edge.
- - - - Jack Pollock "Dear M: Letters from a Gentleman of Excess" (1989)
We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine
that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it
has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same
afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in
advance.�
- - - - Marcel Proust
As all things eternal and primordial reappear, so all things mortal return to the
earth. Honor, old age, probity, justice, constance, virtue, and gentleness are all
gathered into the cold tomb.
- - - - Francis Quarles
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
- - - - Ronald Reagan
Kill a man, and you are an assassin. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror.
Kill everyone, and you are a god.
- - - - Jean Rostand
When you cease to make a contribution you begin to die.
- - - - Eleanor Roosevelt
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands. Two of them were
just napping.
- - - - Rita Rudner
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
- - - - A. Sachs
On a day of burial there is no perspective--for space itself is annihilated. Your
dead friend is still a fragmentary being. The day you bury him is a day of chores
and crowds, of hands false or true to be shaken, of the immediate cares of
mourning. The dead friend will not really die until tomorrow, when silence is round
you again. Then he will show himself complete, as he was--to tear himself away, as
he was, from the substantial you. Only then will you cry out because of him who is
leaving and whom you cannot detain.�
- - - - Antoine de Saint-Exup�ry
He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay,
more present than the living man.�
- - - - Antoine de Saint-Exup�ry
Boy, when you are dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die
somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything
except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of
flowers on your stomach on Sunday and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you are
dead? Nobody.
- - - - J. D. Salinger
Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers.
- - - - George Santayana
Martyrdom has always been a proof of the intensity, never of the correctness, of a
belief.
- - - - Arthur Schnitzler
Each day is a little life; every waking and rising a little birth; every fresh
morning a little youth; every going to rest and sleep a little dearth.
- - - - Arthur Schopenhauer
They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice; . . . that suicide is
wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every
man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.
- - - - Arthur Schopenhauer
Death--the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening.
- - - - Walter Scott
Men have died from time to time, and the worms have eaten 'em, but not for love.
- - - - William Shakespeare "As You Like It"
Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste death but once.
Of all the wonders that I have yet heard, It seems to me most strange that men
should fear, Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it come.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Julius Caesar"
Let 's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs.
- - - - William Shakespeare "King Richard II"
Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak Whispers the o'er-fraught heart,
and bids it break.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Macbeth"
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To
the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The
way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor
player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more. It
is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Macbeth"
... To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there 's the rub: For in
that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal
coil, Must give us pause: there 's the respect That makes calamity of so long
life ...�
- - - - William Shakespeare "Hamlet"
Ay, but to die and go we know not where; To lie in cold obstrution and to rot; This
sensible warm motion to become A kneaded clod; and the delighted spirit To bathe in
fiery floods or to reside In thrilling regions of thick-ribbed ice; To be
imprison'd in the viewless winds, And blown with restless violence round about The
pendant world.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Measure for Measure"
O comfort-killing night, image of hell, Dim register and notary of shame, Black
stage for tragedies and murders fell, Vast sin-concealing chaos, nurse of blame!
- - - - William Shakespeare "The Rape of Lucrece"
When he shall die Take him and cut him in little stars And he will make the face of
heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to
the garish sun.
- - - - William Shakespeare "Romeo and Juliet"
And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of
right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that
can understand.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw "Caesar and Cleopatra"
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw
Murder and capital punishment are not opposites that cancel one another, but
similars that breed their kind. It is the deed that teaches not the name we give
it.
- - - - George Bernard Shaw
Suicide is about life, being in fact the sincerest form of criticism life gets.
- - - - Wilfrid Sheed
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform:
he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
- - - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "A Declaration of Rights" (Dublin, 1812)
There's something dreadfully decisive about a beheading.
- - - - Agnes Smedley
Death is one of two things. Either it is annihilation, and the dead have no
consciousness of anything; or, as we are told, it is really a change: a migration
of the soul from one place to another.
- - - - Socrates
Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed.
- - - - Bruce Springsteen
Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same
impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own.
- - - - Robert Louis Stevenson
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left
undone.�
- - - - Harriet Beecher Stowe
Hell and Heaven are near man, yes, in him; and every man after death goes to that
Hell or heaven in which he was, or to his spirit, during his abode in the world.
- - - - Emauel Swedenborg "Heaven and Hell" (1758)
It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death
should have been designed by Providence as an evil to mankind.
- - - - Jonathan Swift (1706)
Old elephants limp off to the hills to die; old Americans go out to the highway and
drive themselves to death with huge cars.
- - - - Hunter S. Thompson
But what is all this fear of and opposition to oblivion? What is the matter with
the soft darkness, the dreamless sleep?
- - - - James Thurber
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will
go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
- - - - James Thurber
The possibility of killing one's self is a safety valve. Having it, man has no
right to say life is unbearable.
- - - - Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy (1898)
If the antiabortion movement took a tenth of the energy they put into noisy
theatrics and devoted it to improving the lives of children who have been born into
lives of poverty, violence, and neglect, they could make a world shine.
- - - - Michael Jay Tucker
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- - - - Mark Twain
Man dies of cold, not of darkness.
- - - - Miguel de Unamuno
A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age; he dies of being a man.
- - - - Percival Arland Ussher
To bring into the world an unwanted human being is as antisocial an act as murder.
- - - - Gore Vidal (1968)
While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.
- - - - Leonardo da Vinci
It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in
large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
- - - - Voltaire "War"
Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and
because it has fresh peaches in it.
- - - - Alice Walker
The dead carry with them to the grave in their clutched hands only that which they
have given away.�
- - - - DeWitt Wallace
Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about
after dinner.
- - - - Oscar Wilde
Time rushes towards us with its hospital tray of infinitely varied narcotics, even
while it is preparing us for its inevitably fatal operation.
- - - - Tennessee Williams "The Rose Tattoo"
Funerals are pretty compared with death.
- - - - Tennessee Williams "A Streetcar Named Desire"
When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.
- - - - Oscar Wilde
Never murder a man who is committing suicide.
- - - - Woodrow Wilson
Death observes no ceremony.
- - - - John Wise
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at
the right or wrong end of the gun.
- - - - P. G. Wodehouse
Biography is to give a man some kind of shape after his death.
- - - - Virginia Woolf
All men think all men mortal, but themselves.
- - - - Edward Young
An angel's arm can't snatch me from the grave; legions of angels can't confine me
there.
- - - - Edward Young
Our birth is nothing but our death begun, as tapers waste the moment they take
fire.
- - - - Edward Young

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely
foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
~ ~ ~ Douglas Adams
Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish.
~ ~ ~ Minna Antrim "Naked Truth and Veiled Allusions"
A fool without fear is sometimes wiser than an angel with fear.
~ ~ ~ Lady Nancy Astor "My Two Countries"
You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough
to get elected.
~ ~ ~ Gerald Barzan
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
~ ~ ~ Josh Billings
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
~ ~ ~ Nicholas Boileau
Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.
~ ~ ~ Napoleon Bonaparte
The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him,
and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
~ ~ ~ Samuel Butler
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
~ ~ ~ Colette
Bigotry murders religion to frighten fools with her ghost.
~ ~ ~ Charles Caleb Colton
Fools are wise until they speak.
~ ~ ~ Randle Cotgrave
Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
~ ~ ~ Frank Dane
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man
who dare not reason is a slave.
~ ~ ~ William Drummond
The fool of nature stood with stupid eyes And gaping mouth, that testified
surprise.
~ ~ ~ John Dryden "Cymon and Iphigenia"
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen
and philosophers and divines.
~ ~ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson "Self-Reliance"
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than
others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool
if he doesn't.
~ ~ ~ William Faulkner
If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
~ ~ ~ Anatole France
As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.
~ ~ ~ Fran�ois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.
~ ~ ~ Benjamin Franklin
The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.
~ ~ ~ Benjamin Franklin
Fools' names, like fools' faces, Are often seen in public places.
~ ~ ~ Thomas Fuller
Zeal is fit only for wise men, but is found mostly in fools.
~ ~ ~ Thomas Fuller
Fools are my theme, let satire be my song.
~ ~ ~ George Gordon, Lord Byron "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers"
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
~ ~ ~ Baltasar Gracian
There are more fools in the world than there are people.
~ ~ ~ Heinrich Heine
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
~ ~ ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to
manage a fool.
~ ~ ~ Rudyard Kipling "Plain Tales from the Hills"
Neither man nor woman can be worth anything until they have discovered that they
are fools. The sooner the discovery is made the better, as there is more time and
power for taking advantage of it.�
~ ~ ~ William Lamb Melbourne
The gods do not protect fools. Fools are protected by more capable fools.
~ ~ ~ Larry Niven
The only difference between a wise man and a fool is that the wise man knows he's
playing.
~ ~ ~ Fritz Peris
The first of April, some do say,�
Is set apart for All Fools' Day.�
But why the people call it so,�
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.�
But on this day are people sent�
On purpose for pure merriment.�
~ ~ ~ Poor Robin's Almanac (1790)
Fools admire, but men of sense approve.
~ ~ ~ Alexander Pope
Nay, fly to altars; there they'll talk you dead; For fools rush in where angels
fear to tread.
~ ~ ~ Alexander Pope "An Essay on Criticism"
Sir, I admit your general rule, That every poet is a fool: But you yourself may
serve to show it, That every fool is not a poet.
~ ~ ~ Matthew Prior
He who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool - avoid him! He who
knows and knows not that he knows is asleep - waken him! He who knows not and knows
that he knows not wants a beating - beat him! But he who knows and knows that he
knows is a wise man - know him.
~ ~ ~ Proverb
The feeble tremble before opinion, the foolish defy it, the wise judge it, the
skillful direct it.
~ ~ ~ Jeanne-Marie Roland
First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
~ ~ ~ George Bernard Shaw "John Bull's Other Island"
Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power,
corrupt power.
~ ~ ~ George Bernard Shaw
A fool and his words are soon parted.
~ ~ ~ William Shenstone
No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
~ ~ ~ Charles Steinmetz
'T is an old maxim in the schools, That flattery 's the food of fools; Yet now and
then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.
~ ~ ~ Jonathan Swift "Cadenus and Vanessa"
Without fools the rest of us could not succeed.
~ ~ ~ Mark Twain
Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each
other.
~ ~ ~ Oscar Wilde
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's
start with typewriters.�
~ ~ ~ Frank Lloyd Wright
Be wise with speed; A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
~ ~ ~ Edward Young

If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
- - -�Tallulah Bankhead
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength.
- - -�Flip Wilson
If I had my life to live over again, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
- - -�Nadine Stair
Life's a journey, not a destination.
- - -�aerosmith "Amazing"
Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.
- - -�Richard Bach
The greatest pleasure in life is to do what people say you cannot do.
- - -�Walter Bagehot
If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
- - -�Tallulah Bankhead
Life is a hospital in which every patient is possessed by the desire of changing
his bed. One would prefer to suffer near the fire, and another is certain he would
get well if he were by the window.
- - -�Charles Baudelaire
Life is generally something that happens elsewhere.
- - -�Alan Bennett
In the midst of life we are in death. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust;
in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection into eternal life . . . .
- - -�Book of Common Prayer "The Burial of the Dead" (1662)
Life itself is a quotation.
- - -�Jorge Luis Borges
The Internet is so big, so powerful and so pointless that for some people it is a
complete substitute for life.
- - -�Andrew Brown
You can't get out of life alive.
- - -�Les Brown
Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us.
- - -�Thomas Browne
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.
- - -�Pearl S. Buck
One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities.
- - -�Thomas Carlyle
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
- - -�Winston Churchill
Life is nothing without friendship.
- - -�Cicero
Life is a horizontal fall.
- - -�Jean Cocteau
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a
buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and
loses itself in the sunset.
- - -�Crowfoot (Blackfoot warrior and orator 1821-1890)
What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the
greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are
only dreams.
- - -�Pedro Calderon de la Barca
Variety's the very spice of life, That gives it all its flavor.
- - -�William Cowper
Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.
- - -�Miguel de Unamuno
Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it.
- - -�Emily Dickinson
That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.
- - -�Emily Dickinson "poem no. 1741"
There are many here among us
who think life is but a joke
but you and I, we've been through that;�
this is not our fate.�
Let us not speak falsely now, the hour's getting late.
- - -�Bob Dylan "All Along the Watchtower"
My life is light, waiting for the death wind,�
Like a feather on the back of my hand.
- - -�T. S. Eliot
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand;
the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
- - -�George Elliot
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.
- - -�Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is eating us up. We all shall be fables presently. Keep cool: it will be all
one a hundred years hence.
- - -�Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself.
- - -�Erich Fromm "Man for Himself"
Life is a bitch, and then it has puppies.
- - -�Adrienne E. Gusoff
Life is a bitch, and then you marry one.
- - -�Unknown
Life is a jest, and all things show it;�
I thought so once, and now I know it.
- - -�John Gay (epitaph)
Life is the childhood of eternity.
- - -�Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
- - -�Lewis Grizzard
Life is made up of marble and mud.
- - -�Nathaniel Hawthorne
A bit beyond perception's reach
I sometimes believe I see
that Life is two locked boxes, each
containing the other's key.
- - -�Piet Hein "Grooks"
Life is just one damn thing after another.
- - -�Elbert Hubbard
To change your life;�
-Start immediately
-Do it flamboyantly
-No exceptions
- - -�William James
That man is never happy for the present is so true, that all his relief from
unhappiness is only forgetting himself for a little while. Life is a progress from
want to want, not from enjoyment to enjoyment.
- - -�Samuel Johnson
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
- - -�Danny Kaye
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- - -�Helen Keller
Change is the law of life.
- - -�John F. Kennedy
Life isn't a matter of milestones but of moments.
- - -�Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.
- - -�Soren Kierkegaard
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue.�
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view.
- - -�Carole King "Tapestry"
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
- - -�Martin Luther King, Jr.
There comes a time when it lies within a man's grasp to shape the clay of his life
into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, the times,
lack of good fortune, or quirks of fate.
- - -�Louis L'Amour
One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.
- - -�Anne Morrow Lindbergh
He who would make serious use of his life must always act as though he had a long
time to live and must schedule his time as though he were about to die.
- - -��mile Littr�
Life is real! Life is earnest!�
And the grave is not its goal;�
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,�
Was not spoken of the soul.
- - -�Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "A Psalm of Life"
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
- - -�Fran Lebowitz
Life is one long struggle in the dark.
- - -�Lucretius
The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.
- - -�William Somerset Maugham
Life is simply a collection of memories, but memories are like star light... They
live on Forever.
- - -�C. W. McCall
It is not true that life is one damn thing after another. It is the same damn thing
over and over.
- - -�Edna St. Vincent Millay
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all.
- - -�Joni Mitchell "Both Sides Now"
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
- - -�Wilson Mizner
Life is aimless: a little love, a little hate, and then - good day!�
Life is short: a little hope, a little dreaming, and then - goodnight!
- - -�Leon Montenaeken
We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find
reality.
- - -�Iris Murdoch
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
- - -�Ogden Nash
Life is a cement trampoline.
- - -�Howard Nordberg
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- - -�Frank Ward O'Malley
Life is not one damn thing after another. It's the same damned thing over and over
again.
- - -�Edna St. Vincent Millay
Life is for each man a solitary cell whose walls are mirrors.
- - -�Eugene O'Neill
The art of life is a constant readjustment to our surroundings.
- - -�Kakuzo Okakaura
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,�
A medley of extemporanea;�
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,�
And I am Marie of Roumania.
- - -�Dorothy Parker "Comment"
All you touch and all you see,�
Is all your life will ever be.
- - -�Pink Floyd "Breathe"
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
- - -�Carl Sandburg
Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch.
- - -�David A.Schmaltz
Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.
- - -�Charles M. Schultz
Life is like an ice-cream cone. You have to lick it one day at a time.
- - -�Charles M. Schultz (Charlie Brown)
As long as you live, keep learning how to live.
- - -�Seneca
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,�
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,�
Signifying nothing.
- - -�William Shakespeare "MacBeth"
Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be
serious when people laugh.
- - -�George Bernard Shaw
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a
hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before
handing it on to future generations
- - -�George Bernard Shaw
Life, like a dome of many-colored glass,�
Stains the white radiance of eternity.
- - -�Percy Bysshe Shelley "Adonais"
The unexamined life is not worth living.
- - -�Socrates
If I had my life to live over again, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
- - -�Nadine Stair
Before the beginning of years
There came to the making of man
Time, with a gift of tears;�
Grief, with a glass that ran;�
Pleasure, with pain for leaven;�
Summer, with flowers that fell;�
Remembrance, fallen from heaven,�
And madness risen from hell;�
Strength without hands to smite;�
Love that endures for a breath;�
Night, the shadow of light,�
And Life, the shadow of death.
- - -�Algernon Charles Swinburne "Atalanta in Calydon" (1865)
Life's aspirations come in the guise of children.
- - -�Rabindrinath Tagore
Life has loveliness to sell,�
All beautiful and splendid things,�
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,�
Soaring fire that sways and sings
And children's faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.
- - -�Sara Teasdale
Life is a frail moth flying Caught in the web of the years that pass.
- - -�Sara Teasdale
Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we
choose.
- - -�Hsieh Tehyi
We learn the rope of life by untying its knots.
- - -�Jean Toomer
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.�
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.
- - -�Traditional Song
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
- - -�Mark Twain
Life is doubt, and faith without doubt is nothing but death.
- - -�Miguel de Unamuno
Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and
to look up at the stars.
- - -�Henry VanDyke
Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
- - -�Horace Walpole
Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and
because it has fresh peaches in it.
- - -�Alice Walker
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.
- - -�John Greenleaf Whittier
Of all the words of tongue and pen,�
The saddest are, "It might have been,"�
More sad are these we daily see
"It is, but it hadn't ought to be!"
- - -�John Greenleaf Whittier "Maud Muller"
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not
ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's
indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
- - -�Elie Wiesel
Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.
- - -�Oscar Wilde "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
Life is one fool thing after another where as love is two fool things after each
other.
- - -�Oscar Wilde
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- - -�Oscar Wilde
The secret of life is in art.
- - -�Oscar Wilde
The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.
- - -�Frank Lloyd Wright

Quotations about all 12 months in general

Janet was quite ill one day.
Febrile troubles came her way.
Martyr-like, she lay in bed;
Aproned nurses softly sped.
Maybe, said the leech judicial,
Junket would be beneficial.
Juleps, too, though freely tried,
Augured ill, for Janet died.
Sepulchre was sadly made;
Octaves pealed and prayers were said.
Novices with many a tear
Decorated Janet's bier.
- - - Author Unknown
Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November,
February has twenty-eight alone,
All the rest have thirty-one;
Excepting leap year,-that 's the time
When February's days are twenty-nine.
- - - Author Unknown
The twelve months...
Snowy, Flowy, Blowy,
Showery, Flowery, Bowery,
Hoppy, Croppy, Droppy,
Breeze, Sneezy, Freezy.
- - - George Ellis
January cold and desolate;
February dripping wet;
March wind ranges;
April changes;
Birds sing in tune
To flowers of May,
And sunny June
Brings longest day;
In scorched July
The storm-clouds fly,
Lightning-torn;
August bears corn,
September fruit;
In rough October
Earth must disrobe her;
Stars fall and shoot
In keen November;
And night is long
And cold is strong
In bleak December.
- - - Christina Giorgina Rossetti "The Months"
January gray is here,
Like a sexton by her grave;
February bears the bier,
March with grief doth howl and rave,
And April weeps-but, O ye hours!
Follow with May's fairest flowers.
- - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "Dirge for the Year"
Quotations About the Month of January
January, month of empty pockets! � let us endure this evil month, anxious as a
theatrical producer's forehead.
- - - Colette
It is deep January. The sky is hard. The stalks are firmly rooted in ice
- - - Wallace Stevens "No Possum, No Sop, No Taters"
Quotations About the Month of February
February, when the days of winter seem endless and no amount of wistful
recollecting can bring back any air of summer.�
- - - Shirley Jackson "Raising Demons"
The most serious charge which can be brought against New England is not Puritanism
but February.�
- - - Joseph Wood Krutch
Late February days; and now, at last,�
Might you have thought that Winter's woe was past;�
So fair the sky was and so soft the air.�
- - - William Morris
February is a suitable month for dying. Everything around is dead, the trees black
and frozen so that the appearance of green shoots two months hence seems
preposterous, the ground hard and cold, the snow dirty, the winter hateful, hanging
on too long.�
- - - Anna Quindlen "One True Thing"
Why, what's the matter,�
That you have such a February face,�
So full of frost, of storm and cloudiness?�
- - - William Shakespeare "Much Ado About Nothing"
Quotations About the Month of March
The stormy March has come at last,�
With winds and clouds and changing skies;�
I hear the rushing of the blast�
That through the snowy valley flies.�
- - - William Cullen Bryant "March"
Our life is March weather, savage and serene in one hour.�
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Indoors or out, no one relaxes�
In March, that month of wind and taxes,�
The wind will presently disappear,�
The taxes last us all the year.�
- - - Ogden Nash "Thar She Blows"
At the earliest ending of winter,
In March, a scrawny cry from outside
Seemed like a sound in his mind.
He knew that he heard it,
A bird's cry, at daylight or before,
In the early March wind.
- - - Wallace Stevens "Not Ideas about the Thing but the Thing Itself"
Beware the ides of March.�
- - - William Shakespeare "Julius Caesar"
Daffodils,�
That come before the swallow dares, and take�
The winds of March with beauty.�
- - - William Shakespeare "The Winter's Tale"
Despite March's windy reputation, winter isn't really blown away: it is washed
away. It flows down all the hills, goes swirling down the valleys and spills out to
sea. Like so many of this earth's elements, winter itself is soluble in water.�
- - - Unknown
Quotations About the Month of April
April is a promise that May is bound to keep.�
- - - Hal Borland
April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
- - -�T. S. Eliot "The Waste Land"
An April Sunday brings the snow�
Making the blossom on the plum trees green,�
Not white. An hour or two, and it will go.�
- - - Philip Larkin "An April Sunday brings the snow"
The first of April, some do say,
Is set apart for All Fools' Day.�
But why the people call it so,�
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.�
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment.�
- - -�Poor Robin's Almanac (1790)
April is in my mistress' face,�
And July in her eyes hath place,�
Within her bosom is September,�
But in her heart a cold December.�
- - - Author Unknown
April, April
Laugh thy girlish laughter
Then the moment after,
Weep thy girlish tears.
- - -�Sir William Watson
Quotations About the Month of May
Hard is the heart that loved naught in May.�
- - - Geoffrey Chaucer "The Romance of the Rose"
The month of May was come, when every lusty heart beginneth to blossom, and to
bring forth fruit; for like as herbs and trees bring forth fruit and flourish in
May, in likewise every lusty heart that is in any manner a lover, springeth and
flourisheth in lusty deeds. For it giveth unto all lovers courage, that lusty month
of May.
- - - Sir Thomas Malory" Le Morte d'Arthur" (1485)
Quotations About the Month of June
O, my luve's like a red red rose
That's newly sprung in June:
O my luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.
- - - Robert Burns "My Love Is Like a Red Red Rose"
June is bustin' out all over.�
- - - Oscar Hammerstein
What is so rare as a day in June? Then, if ever, come perfect days.
- - - James Russell Lowell "The Vision of Sir Launfal"
If a June night could talk, it would probably boast that it invented romance.
- - - Bern Williams
It is the month of June,�
The month of leaves and roses,�
When pleasant sights salute the eyes,�
And pleasant scents the noses.�
- - - Nathaniel Parker Willis "The Month of June"
Quotations About the Month of July
�
Quotations About the Month of August
August creates as she slumbers, replete and satisfied.�
- - - Joseph Wood Krutch
Quotations About the Month of September
September: it was the most beautiful of words, he'd always felt, evoking orange-
flowers, swallows, and regret.
- - - Alexander Theroux
Up from the meadows rich with corn,�
Clear in the cool September morn
- - - John Greenleaf Whittier
Quotations About the Month of October
O hushed October morning mild,�
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.�
- - - Robert Frost "October"
O suns and skies and clouds of June,
And flowers of June together,
Ye cannot rival for one hour
October's bright blue weather.
- - - Helen Hunt Jackson "October's Bright Blue Weather"
October is crisp days and cool nights, a time to curl up around the dancing flames
and sink into a good book.�
- - - John Sinor
Quotations About the Month of November
November is the most disagreeable month in the whole year.
- - - Louisa May Alcott
November always seemed to be the Norway of the year.
- - - Emily Dickinson
Not yesterday I learned to know�
The love of bare November days�
Before the coming of the snow....�
- - - Robert Frost "My November Guest"
No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member -
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds,
November!
- - - Thomas Hood
November's sky is chill and drear,
November's leaf is red and sear.
- - - Sir Walter Scott "Marmion"
How sad would be November if we had no knowledge of the spring!
- - - Edwin Way Teale
Quotations About the Month of December
"We are nearer to Spring�
Than we were in September,"�
I heard a bird sing�
In the dark of December.�
- - - Oliver Herford "I Heard a Bird Sing"

The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and
impossibility may become the rule.
- - - - Anita Brookner
Parent of golden dreams, Romance!
Auspicious queen of childish joys,
Who lead'st along, in airy dance,
Thy votive train of girls and boys.
- - - - Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron), To Romance
A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.
- - - - Barbara Cartland
Romance is tempestuous. Love is calm.
- - - - Mason Cooley
Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of every day life into a golden haze.
- - - - Elinor Glynn
Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and never attained
reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our masters, keeps us running and
thinking in safe circles.
- - - - Beverly Jones
French is the language that turns dirt into romance.
- - - - Stephen King
And what's romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You
Like It, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose and it's
always daisy-time.
- - - - D. H. Lawrence
He loved the twilight that surrounds
The border-land of old romance;
Where glitter hauberk, helm, and lance,
And banner waves, and trumpet sounds,
And ladies ride with hawk on wrist,
And mighty warriors sweep along,
Magnified by the purple mist,
The dusk of centuries and of song.
- - - - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Prelude to Tales of a Wayside Inn
Romance is the poetry of literature.
- - - - Madame Suzanne Curchod Necker
Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
With drowsy head and folded wing
- - - - Edgar Allan Poe
Romance is everything.
- - - - Gertrude Stein
Tradition wears a snowy beard, romance is always young.
- - - - John Greenleaf Whittier
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
- - - - Oscar Wilde
Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end
with a settlement.
- - - - Oscar Wilde

Quotations about Fear

A fool without fear is sometimes wiser than an angel with fear.�
- - - Lady Nancy Astor "My Two Countries"
Cruelty and fear shake hands together. An unfulfilled vocation drains the color
from a man's entire existence.
- - - Honor� de Balzac
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.�
- - - Dorothy Bernard
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength
of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
- - - Bible - Psalm 27:1
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.�
- - - Bible - Psalms 23:4
He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.�
- - - Napoleon Bonaparte
Who is all-powerful should fear everything.
- - - Pierre Corneille
Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is
in illness, because illness contains information, your fears are a treasure house
of self-knowledge if you explore them.�
- - - Marilyn Ferguson
I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.
- - - Erica Jong
Grab the broom of anger and drive off the beast of fear.
- - - Zora Neale Hurston
We invent what we love, and what we fear.�
- - - John Irving
The constant assertion of belief is an indication of fear.
- - - Krishnamurti
Fear is nature's warning signal to get busy.
- - - Henry C. Link
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest
kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
- - - H. P. Lovecraft
It's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance; It's the dream afraid
of waking, that never takes the chance; It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot
seem to give; And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.
- - - Bette Midler "The Rose"
Fear is the mother of morality.
- - - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Nay, fly to altars; there they'll talk you dead; For fools rush in where angels
fear to tread.�
- - - Alexander Pope "An Essay on Criticism"
Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
- - - Michael Pritchard
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really
stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
- - - Eleanor Roosevelt
Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty.�
- - - Bertrand Russell "An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish"
Be wary then; best safety lies in fear.�
- - - Shakespeare "Hamlet"
Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back.
- - - Publilius Syrus
Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of
opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly
repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and
creates a country where everyone lives in fear.�
- - - Harry S Truman, August 8, 1950
Fear is a slinking cat I find Beneath the lilacs of my mind.
- - - Sophie Tunnel
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
- - - Mark Twain
Quotations about Agony
I like a look of agony�
Because I know it's true.�
- - - Emily Dickinson
On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.�
- - - Virginia Woolf
Quotations about Anger
Never forget what a man has said to you when he was angry.
- - - Henry Ward Beecher
There is a great deal of unmapped country within us which would have to be taken
into account in an explanation of our gusts and storms.
- - - George Eliot
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
- - - Elizabeth I
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.
- - - Thomas Jefferson
Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest.
- - - Malabar Proverb
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
- - - Mark Twain "Pudd'nhead Wilson"
Quotations about Bigotry
Bigotry dwarfs the soul by shutting out the truth.�
- - - Edwin Hubbel Chapin
Bigotry murders religion to frighten fools with her ghost.�
- - - Charles Caleb Colton
The mind of the bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon
it, the more it will contract.�
- - - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Quotations about Censorship
You can cage the singer but not the song.�
- - - Harry Belafonte
Every burned book or house enlightens the world; every suppressed or expunged word
reverberates through the earth from side to side.�
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Political correctness is the natural continuum from the party line. What we are
seeing once again is a self-appointed group of vigilantes imposing their views on
others. It is a heritage of communism, but they don't seem to see this.�
- - - Doris Lessing
Quotations about Corruption
For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds;�
Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.�
- - - William Shakespeare "Sonnet 94"
Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud;�
Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,�
And loathsome canker lies in sweetest bud.�
All men make faults.�
- - - William Shakespeare "Sonnet 35"
Quotations about Cowardice
Mourn not the dead that in the cool earth lie -- . . .
But rather mourn the apathetic throng --�
The cowed and the meek --�
Who see the world's great anguish and its wrong
And dare not speak.
- - - Ralph Chaplin "Solidarity Forever" (song, January 9, 1915)
Cowardice, as distinguished from panic, is almost always simply a lack of ability
to suspend the functioning of the imagination.
- - - Ernest Hemingway
Pacifism is simply undisguised cowardice.
- - - Adolf Hitler
The coward threatens when he is safe.
- - - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When all the blandishments of life are gone,
The coward sneaks to death, the brave live on.
- - - George Sewell "The Suicide"
Quotations about Crime
Aside from the murders, DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. .
- - - Marion Barry (while mayor of Washington, D. C.)
It is worse than a crime, it is a blunder.
- - - Antoine Boulay de la Meurthe
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
- - - Henry Thomas Buckle
Whenever man commits a crime heaven finds a witness.
- - - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
The worst crime is faking it.
- - - Kurt Cobain
Commit a crime and the earth is made of glass.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Not failure, but low aim, is crime.
- - - James Russell Lowell
Quotations about Criticism
Seek roses in December, ice in June;
Hope constancy in wind, or corn in chaff;
Believe a woman or an epitaph,
Or any other thing that 's false, before
You trust in critics.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers"
Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.
- - - Chinese Proverb
They have vilified me, they have crucified me. Yes, they have even criticized me.
- - - Richard J. Daley
People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and
those who sit still and inquire, 'Why wasn't it done the other way?'
- - - Oliver Wendell Holmes
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
- - - Elbert Hubbard
When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his
fingers are pointing at himself.
- - - Louis Nizer
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of
them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else
fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke "Parliament of Whores"
A critic is one who leaves no turn unstoned.
- - - George Bernard Shaw
He who slings mud generally loses ground.
- - - Adlai Stevenson
Famous Curses
May your every wish be granted.
- - - Ancient Chinese Curse
May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket.
- - - Arab Curse
May those that love us, love us;�
and those that don't love us,�
May God turn their hearts;�
and if He doesn't turn their hearts,�
may He turn their ankles�
so we'll know them by their limping.
- - - Old Irish Toast
May you wander over the face of the earth forever, never sleep twice in the same
bed, never drink water twice from the same well, and never cross the same river
twice in a year.
- - - Traditional Gypsy Curse
May the grass grow at your door and the fox build his nest on your hearthstone.
May the light fade from your eyes, so you never see what you love.
May your own blood rise against you, and the sweetest drink you take be the
bitterest cup of sorrow.
May you die without benefit of clergy;
May there be none to shed a tear at your grave, and may the hearthstone of hell be
your best bed forever.
- - - Traditional Wexford Curse
Quotations about the Devil
It is the greatest art of the devil to convince us he does not exist.
- - - Charles Baudelaire
An apology for the Devil: It must be remembered that we have only heard one side of
the case. God has written all the books.
- - - Samuel Butler "Higgledy-Piggledy"
The devil is an angel too.
- - - Miguel de Unamuno
In all systems of theology, the devil figures as a male person.
- - - Don Herold
Does the devil know he is a devil?
- - - Elizabeth Madox Roberts
God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.
- - - Jonathan Winters
Quotations about Enemies
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
- - - African Proverb
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
- - - Yassir Arafat
The wise learn many things from their enemies.
- - - Aristophanes
You shall judge of a man by his foes as well as by his friends.�
- - - Joseph Conrad "Lord Jim"
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
- - - Baltasar Gracian
One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
- - - Heinrich Heine
One enemy is too much.
- - - George Herbert
The Greatest Happiness is to scatter your enemy and drive him before you. To see
his cities reduced to ashes. To see those who love him shrouded and in tears. And
to gather to your bosom his wives and daughters.
- - - Genghis Khan
It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.
- - - Olin Miller
The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core -�
Scratch a lover, and find a foe!�
- - - Dorothy Parker
To have a good enemy, choose a friend; he knows where to strike.
- - - Diane de Pointiers
If the enemy leaves a door open, you must rush in.
- - - Sun Tzu
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies
ridiculous. And God granted it.
- - - Voltaire
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
- - - Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good
characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful
in the choice of his enemies.
- - - Oscar Wilde
If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
- - - Woodrow Wilson
When your enemy falls, don't rejoice -- but don't pick him up either.
- - - Yiddish Proverb
Quotations about Envy
He who ascends to mountain-tops shall find
The loftiest peaks most wrapt in clouds and snow;
He who surpasses or subdues mankind
Must look down on the hate of those below.
- - - George Gordon, Lord Byron "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage"
Do you know the hallmark of the second-rater? It's resentment of another man's
achievement.
- - - Ayn Rand
How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes!
- - - William Shakespeare "As You Like It"
Quotations about Evil
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
- - - Edmund Burke
Those that set in motion the forces of evil cannot always control them afterwards.
- - - Charles W. Chestnutt
Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both.
- - - Tyron Edwards
In battling evil, excess is good; for he who is moderate in announcing the truth is
presenting half-truth. He conceals the other half out of fear of the people's
wrath.�
- - - Kahlil Gibran, 'Narcotics and Dissecting Knives,' Thoughts and Meditations,
1960
Don't let us make imaginary evils, when you know we have so many real ones to
encounter.
- - - Oliver Goldsmith
You are alone my evil and my good With you I have everything - without you nothing
- - - Louise Labe
Evil often triumphs, but never conquers.
- - - Joseph Roux
By the prickling of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.
- - - William Shakespeare "Macbeth"
Evil comes to all us men of imagination wearing as its mask all the virtues.
- - - William Butler Yeats
Quotations about Failure
A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody
else.
- - - John Burroughs
Half the failures in life arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping.
- - - Julius Hare
The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the
support of a cause we believe to be just.
- - - Abraham Lincoln
There are few pains so grievous as to have seen, divined, or experienced how an
exceptional man has missed his way and deteriorated.
- - - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche "Beyond Good and Evil"
This thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.�
- - - Mary Pickford
Failures are divided into two classes -- those who thought and never did, and those
who did and never thought.
- - - John Charles Salak
I don't know the formula for success, but I know the formula for failure -trying to
please everybody.
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson
When you are down and out something always turns up - and it's usually the noses of
your friends.
- - - Orson Welles
Quotations about Hatred
Of all the objects of hatred, a woman once loved is the most hateful.
- - - Max Beerbohn
Love, friendship, respect, will never unite people as much as a common hatred for
something.
- - - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
- - - Eldridge Cleaver
Hatred - The anger of the weak.
- - - Alphonse Daulet
What do you despise? By this are you truly known.
- - - Frank Herbert "Dune"
We must hate - hatred is the basis of communism. Children must be taught to hate
their parents if they are not communists.
- - - Vladimir Ilich Lenin - 1923 Speech to the Commissars of Education
Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil.
- - - Niccolo Machiavelli
Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed.
- - - Bertrand Russell
Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated.�
- - - George Bernard Shaw
Hate and mistrust are the children of blindness.
- - - William Watson
Quotations about Mistakes
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other
direction.
- - - Dietrich Bonhoeffer "The Way to Freedom"
There is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
- - - Samuel Butler
A man who has committed a mistake and does not correct it is committing another
mistake.
- - - Confucius
Of course I shall go astray often...for who does not make mistakes? But I cannot go
far wrong for I have seen the truth.
- - - Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoevski
Errors, like straws, upon the surface flow; He who would search for pearls must
dive below.
- - - John Dryden "All for Love"
To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're
overdoing it.
- - - Josh Jenkins
Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler.
- - - Dean Martin
The physician can bury his mistakes but the architect can only advise his client to
plant vines.
- - - Frank Lloyd Wright
Quotations about Murder
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of
robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from
that to incivility and procrastination.
- - - Thomas De Quincey
And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of
right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that
can understand.
- - - George Bernard Shaw "Caesar and Cleopatra"
It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in
large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
- - - Voltaire "War"
Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about
after dinner.
- - - Oscar Wilde
Never murder a man who is committing suicide.
- - - Woodrow Wilson
Quotations about Pain
If I can stop one heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
- - - Emily Dickinson
In the country of pain we are each alone.
- - - May Sarton
Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other.
- - - Laurence Stern
Nothing begins, and nothing ends,
That is not paid with moan;
For we are born in others' pain
And perish in our own.
- - - Francis Thompson
We are kept keen on the grindstone of pain and necessity.
- - - H. G. Wells
Quotations about Violence
Violence is the ultimate human degradation.�
- - - Ramsey Clark
Not only do most people accept violence if it is perpetuated by legitimate
authority, they also regard violence against certain kinds of people as inherently
legitimate, no matter who commits it.�
- - - Edgar Z. Friedenberg
In violence, we forget who we are.�
- - - Mary McCarthy "On the Contrary"
Quotations about War
Men create war to compete with women, who create life.
- - - Sharon Doubiago
Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing
that stops women laughing at them.
- - - John Fowles "The Magus"
War is death's feast.
- - - George Herbert "Outlandish Proverbs"
Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
- - - Herbert Hoover
Now the trumpet summons us again - not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need;
not as a call to battle, though embattled we are; but a call to bear the burden of
a long twilight struggle, year in and year out, 'rejoicing in hope, patient in
tribulation', a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty,
disease and war itself.
- - - John F. Kennedy
If any question why we died,
Tell them because our fathers lied.
- - - Rudyard Kipling "Epitaphs of War"
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
- - - George Orwell
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
- - - Jeannette Rankin
I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from
the wounded. I have seen men coughing out their gassed lungs. I have seen the dead
in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed . . .I have seen children starving. I have
seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war.
- - - Franklin D. Roosevelt
What if they gave a war and nobody came?
- - - Carl Sandburg
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform:
he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
- - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "A Declaration of Rights" (Dublin, 1812)
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of
the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell.
- - - William Tecumseh Sherman
To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.
- - - George Washington
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it
is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
- - - Oscar Wilde

We make war that we may live in peace.

~ ~ ~ Aristotle
War would end if the dead could return.
~ ~ ~ Stanley Baldwin
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong.�
~ ~ ~ Bible - Ecclesiastes 1:11
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't
grin, keep out of the way till you can.
~ ~ ~ Winston Churchill
Where there is no peril in the fight, there is no glory in the triumph.�
~ ~ ~ Pierre Corneille
War is a fevered god
who takes alike
maiden and king and clod....
~ ~ ~ Hilda Doolittle "Telesila"
Men create war to compete with women, who create life.
~ ~ ~ Sharon Doubiago
Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing
that stops women laughing at them.
~ ~ ~ John Fowles "The Magus"
For he who fights and runs away
May live to fight another day;
But he who is in battle slain
Can never rise and fight again.�
~ ~ ~ Oliver Goldsmith "The Art of Poetry on a New Plan"
The thundering line of battle stands,
And in the air Death moans and sings:
But Day shall clasp him with strong hands,
And Night shall fold him in soft wings.�
~ ~ ~ Julian Grenfell "Into Battle"
Join the Army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people, and
kill them.
~ ~ ~ Full Metal Jacket
Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.
~ ~ ~ Ernest Hemingway
War is death's feast.
~ ~ ~ George Herbert "Outlandish Proverbs"
Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
~ ~ ~ Herbert Hoover
Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.
~ ~ ~ John F. Kennedy, 1961
Now the trumpet summons us again - not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need;
not as a call to battle, though embattled we are; but a call to bear the burden of
a long twilight struggle, year in and year out, 'rejoicing in hope, patient in
tribulation', a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty,
disease and war itself.
~ ~ ~ John F. Kennedy
If any question why we died,
Tell them because our fathers lied.
~ ~ ~ Rudyard Kipling "Epitaphs of War"
The sinews of war are not gold, but good soldiers; for gold alone will not procure
good soldiers, but good soldiers will always procure gold.
~ ~ ~ Niccol� Machiavelli
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger
cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
~ ~ ~ H.L. (Henry Lewis) Mencken
What the horrors of war are, no one can imagine. They are not wounds and blood and
fever, spotted and low, or dysentery, chronic and acute, cold and heat and famine.
They are intoxication, drunken brutality, demoralisation and disorder on the part
of the inferior ... jealousies, meanness, indifference, selfish brutality on the
part of the superior.
~ ~ ~ Florence Nightingale
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
~ ~ ~ George Orwell "Nineteen Eighty-Four" (Ingsoc party slogan)
Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning.�
~ ~ ~ George S. Patton, Jr.
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
~ ~ ~ Jeannette Rankin
I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from
the wounded. I have seen men coughing out their gassed lungs. I have seen the dead
in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed . . .I have seen children starving. I have
seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war.
~ ~ ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong--but that is the
way to bet it.�
~ ~ ~ Damon Runyon
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.�
~ ~ ~ Bertrand Russell
What if they gave a war and nobody came?
~ ~ ~ Carl Sandburg
To delight in war is a merit in the soldier, a dangerous quality in the captain,
and a positive crime in the statesman.
~ ~ ~ George Santayana "The Life of Reason"
Cry "havoc!" and let loose the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.
~ ~ ~ William Shakespeare "Julius Caesar"
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform:
he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
~ ~ ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley "A Declaration of Rights" (Dublin, 1812)
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of
the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell.
~ ~ ~ William Tecumseh Sherman
O I know they make war because they want peace; they hate so that they may live;
and they destroy the present to make the world safe for the future. When have they
not done and said they did it for that?
~ ~ ~ Elizabeth Smart
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.�
~ ~ ~ Margaret Thatcher
It'll be a great day when education gets all the money it wants and the Air Force
has to hold a bake sale to buy bombers.
~ ~ ~ Unknown
To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.
~ ~ ~ George Washington
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it
is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
~ ~ ~ Oscar Wilde
War can only be abolished through war, and in order to get rid of the gun it is
necessary to take up the gun.
~ ~ ~ Mao Zedong

A little "birdy" told me!�

All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.�

Am I talking to a brick wall?

Are you deaf or something?

Are you lying to me?

As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.

Beds are NOT made for jumping on.�

Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay.

Close the door! You don't live in a barn.

Did you brush your teeth?

Did you comb your hair?

Do as I say, not as I do.

Do you think I'm made of money?

Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?

Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.

Don't eat that, you'll get worms!

Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.

Don't make me get up!

Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected.
Don't pick your nose in public.

Don't run in the house.�

Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.

Don't talk with your mouth full!

Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!�

Eat your vegetables, they're good for you.

Enough is enough!

Go play outside! It's a beautiful day!

Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.

Going to a party? Who's going to be there?
Going to a party? Will the parents be home?

How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?�

I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!�

I can't believe you can sleep in this filth!

I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"

I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
I don't have to explain myself. I said no.�

I hope someday you have children just like you.

I just want what's best for you.

I will always love you - no matter what.�

If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would
have put them there!
If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.

If wishes were horses...

If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.�

If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?

If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off.

If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.

I'm doing this for your own good.�

I'm going to skin you alive!�

I'm not going to ask you again.

I'm not your cleaning lady!

I'm not your waitress!

Isn't it past your bedtime?�

It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
Life isn't fair.

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

Money does NOT grow on trees.

No child of MINE would do something like that.

Nobody asked you.

Over my dead body!
Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
Pick up your feet.
Put that down! You don't know where it's been!
Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
Shut the door! I'm not heating (air conditioning) the entire neighborhood!
Shut your mouth and eat.
So it's raining? You're not sugar -- you won't melt.
So what if Bob's mom let him do it? If Bob's mom let him jump off the Empire State
Building, would you want me to let you do it too?
Someone is going to end up crying.�

There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!

This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Turn that racket (music) down!

Watch your mouth!

Well, I haven't figured out how to cook "cold" yet.

Well, people in Hell want ice water too!

What did I say the FIRST time?�

What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?

What part of NO don't you understand?

When I was a little girl...

When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world!
When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself,
to go to school.�

When will you be back?�

When you have your own house then you can make the rules!�

Where do YOU think you're going?

Who died and left you boss?

Who do you think you're talking to?�

Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house!

Wipe your feet!

You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I didn't wear it!
You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I'm not the maid!
You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have
this problem.
You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?

You can't start the day on an empty stomach.

You don't always get what you want. It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn
it now.

You have an answer for everything, don't you?

You kids are trying to drive me crazy!�

You must think rules are made to be broken.

You won't be happy until you break that, will you?
You'll understand when you're older.�
A little soap & water never killed anybody.
Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
Answer me when I ask you a question!
Are you going out dressed like that?
Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!
Be good.
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
Clean up after yourself!
Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food!
Did you clean your room?
Did you flush?
Do you live to annoy me?
Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.
Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.
Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way.
Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
Don't make me come in there!
Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
Don't stay up too late!
Don't use that tone with me!
Don't you have anything better to do?
Go ask your father.
Go to your room and think about what you did!
How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
How many times do I have to tell you?
I can always tell when you're lying.
I can't believe you did that!
I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
I don't care who started it, I said stop!
I don't care who started it, YOU stop it!
I don't know is NOT an answer.
I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth!
I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it.
I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!
If I've told you once ... I've told you a thousand times.
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert.
If you don't stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!
If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
I'm going to give you until the count of three...
I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you.
I'm not running a taxi service.
I'm not your maid!
Is your homework finished?
It's no use crying over spilt milk.
I've had it up to here with you.
Leave your sister (brother) alone!
Little pitchers have big ears.
Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind.
No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them!
Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!
Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear.
Running away? I'll help you pack.
Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!!
Someday your face will freeze like that
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Think of those poor starving children in India... (or China, or Africa.)
Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
Watch your language!
Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a PITCHER?
Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!
What do you think, money grows on trees?
What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
When did your last slave die?
When I was your age...
When you have kids of your own you'll understand.
Where are you going?
Who are you going with? Do I know them?
Who do you think you are?
Who said life was going to be easy?
Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
You are getting on my last nerve.

You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair.
You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
You can go out to play...after you've done your homework.
You can't judge a book by its cover.
You could grow potatoes in those ears!
You could have called.
You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
You just ate an hour ago!
You made your bed, now lie in it.
You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!
You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
You will ALWAYS be my baby.
You're going to put your eye out with that thing!
Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
You're the oldest. You should know better.
why say it twice?
�
a unique, one-in-a-lifetime opportunity
absolutely essential
absolutely necessary
ACT test
advance forward
advance warning
affluent rich
always and forever
anonymous stranger
associate together
attach together
autobiography of my life
awful bad
bad trouble
basic fundamentals
begin to proceed
boiling hot
bunny rabbit
cash money
cease and desist
Chile pepper
circulated around
classic tradition
close proximity
closed fist
collaborate together with
combined together
complete monopoly
completely filled
component parts
continuing on
crimson red
dark night
delete out
down under
Each and every one of you
elevate up
end result
enter into
evil villain
exactly the same
falling down
famous celebrities
fellow colleagues
Fill in the empty blank
first of all
for your FYI
former graduate
free gift
full satisfaction
gather together
grand total
Greetings & Salutations
handwritten manuscript
HIV virus
hopes and aspirations
hygienic cleaning
I thought to myself
immortalized forever
individual person
inner core
jet plane
KFC chicken
kitty cat
last will and testament
LCD display
live audience
male son
marital spouse
merge together
more easier
my personal opinion
negative misfortune
new discovery
newborn baby
null and void
original founder
over and above
pair of twins
past experience
past tradition
Pie a la mode with ice cream
pizza pie
positive yes
previous history
print out
proposed plan
protective helmet
raise up
repeat again
revert back
rising above
RSVP, please
safe sanctuary
Scotch Whisky
sharp point
sink down
small speck
solitary hermit
specific example
square box
sufficient enough
swampy marsh
temper tantrum
terrible tragedy
tiny bit
true fact
turning around
under cover
unique individual
unmarried old maid
useless and unnecessary
wall murals
whether or not
with au jus gravy
Xerox copy
young childA.M. in the morning
ABS braking system
academic scholar
added bonus
advance scout
affirmative yes
all inclusive
and etc.
ask a question
at this point in time
automatic ATM machine
baby calf
bare naked
beautiful vista to look out upon
boat marina
brief moment
burning hot
CAT test
Chicken Coq au Vin
chili con carne with meat
circle around
clam chowder soup
climb up
close scrutiny
cold frost
commence to begin
complete stop
completely unanimous
consensus of opinion
convicted felon
crystal clear
deja vu all over again
descend down
duplicate copy
elderly senior citizens
empty hole
empty space
ending outcome
essential necessity
exact replica
extreme hazard
false illusion
favorable approval
female daughter
final farewell
first priority
foreign imports
former veteran
freezing cold
future plans
good success
grateful thanks
growing greater
hanging down
honest truth
hot water heater
I remembered back
ice cold
income coming in
initially from the beginning
it's raining outside
join together
killed dead
knowledgeable experts
latex rubber
little baby
live witness
manually by hand
mental thought
money-saving coupon
More than unique--it's practically one of a kind!
near vicinity
New & Improved
new innovations
Not one single person
oral conversation
other alternatives
P.I.N. number
passing fad
past history
personal friend
Pizza Hut pizza
plait a braid
postponed until later
previously recorded
prior history
protective armor
puppy dog
refer back
return back
Rio Grande River
round circle
safe haven
SAT test
separate out
shrimp scampi
small child
soda pop
soup du jour of the day
spinning around
still remains
surrounded on all sides
tear apart
temporary reprieve
three triplets
toys and playthings
tuna fish
two twins
unexpected surprise
unmarried bachelor
unsolved mysteries
usual custom
V.I.N. number
wear upon
widow woman
written down
youthful teenager
1