of the workshop when you are actually acting them out. Live in the moment.
Finding Limits You can and should discuss things before running the scenario, however, so
Overview –
There are assumptions and culturally unspoken rules that we all follow and often
these lead to tense situations or conflicts when different people have different
assumptions. This activity is intended to bring these things out in to the open in a
safe and productive manor so that they do not percolate into mistrust or
animosity. Finding Limits is meant as a workshop or full event that can be
adapted for a range of settings, including: LARPs (Live Action Role Playing
Games), teambuilding, acting classes, single mingling, new employee
orientation, or social soft skills teaching. The objective is to learn to feel
comfortable saying no to requests, saying yes to requests, and asking for socially
risky or awkward requests without cringing, feeling shame, or regretting things
and not feeling offended when someone asks you something you do not want to
do. It can take a while (several hours to several days) if there are more than a
few people; the objective is to really learn how people feel about each other, to
get over the awkward towards a shared understanding. If it is just done as a
short workshop that takes only a few minutes, this is not enough time to
feel accustomed to interacting with the other people and could actually
have negative outcomes that leave people with biases lasting long after
the workshop is over!
General workshop procedures –
The general way the workshop goes is fairly simple. Split people into pairs, if there
are an odd number of people, have one group of three. For each pair or group, take
turns asking questions like "If we were XYZ in XYZ place, would you want to do
XYZ activity?" or "Do you want to do XYZ together?" or "Can I do XYZ to you" or
"Can you do XYZ to me". The responses should be yes, no, or "yes in X contexts, no
in Y contexts" where X and Y are specific ways that the person would or would not
want to have the scenario carried out. Then, if the answer was yes, roleplay the
scenario, if it was no, move on to another one. Take turns playing out scenarios
until the scenario quota is reached (see Rules below). Then switch up and pair with
someone else in the larger group.
General Rules –
 You should do a minimum of 12 'yes' scenarios (with or without qualifying
modifications) and have turned down a minimum of 12 'no' scenarios.
Probably you will have more than 12 of one before you reach the quota for
the other.
 While roleplaying, although you are acting as yourself with your own
personality and your own likes and dislikes, (unless you are doing it in the
context of an acting class) do not introduce personal topics outside the scope
that once you start, you do not need to stop.
 All role playing should be done as if it were real life, if you think something
you are trying to do would be better done as a meta activity, don't do it! The
whole point is exploring limits, pushing limits safely.
 When someone says 'NO', they mean 'NO', and 'YES' they should mean
'YES'. If the answer is not a clear one of those, push for more details until
the answer is clear. You should try to do this without breaking from the
scenario because, unless you are explicitly playing a role other than your
own, the whole point of the workshop is to see how you would like to
respond in case such a thing happens in real life.
 You should NEVER try to hurt or injure someone else. The objective is to
help others and bring passion and joy. Yes, some of the scenarios may be
about thorny topics, but the people playing them should be trying to work
together to push through the brambles and into the clearing that is a shared
understanding.
 Many of the scenarios will probably involve physical interaction. While
physical interaction is crucial for a person's wellbeing; there is the risk of
passing on harmful viruses or bacteria. Many germs can be minimized by
thoroughly washing your hands (and the rest of your body) but be sure that
you know you do not have Covid-19 or other transmittable disease (by
getting tested and knowing who you have been in contact with) before you
start playing. This game is best done with people you are going to be close
with for a while, regardless of whether you are playing.
 One more time: the whole point is to be able to say yes and no and really
mean it. Some of the scenarios should be things that are incredibly taboo,
like sexuality or body functions. Therefore it is important that people are
honest and accepting. DO NOT RUN A SCENARIO UNLESS
EVERYONE PLAYING WANTS TO PLAY IT OUT! Do try to run
scenarios that both people really want to play, but feel ashamed to. These
are the boundaries we are trying to break.
Topics and Ideas to Try and
Power dynamics, Pet peeves, Love, Bathroom use,
Lust, Work habits, Social faux pas, Sexuality, Anger
management...
©2020 – Aaron E-J
https://otherrealm.org