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Human Sexuality in A World of Diversity Fourth Canadian Canadian 4th Edition Rathus Solutions Manual Download
Human Sexuality in A World of Diversity Fourth Canadian Canadian 4th Edition Rathus Solutions Manual Download
CHAPTER 6
Attraction and Love
CHAPTER-AT-A-GLANCE
CHAPTER SUMMARY
The Greeks had four concepts related to the modern meanings of love: storge, agape,
philia and eros. Western culture has a long tradition of idealizing the concept of romantic
love. A vast majority of people in Canada sees romantic love as prerequisite for marriage.
A recent study of Canadian’s found that over one-half of men and women believed in
love at first sight. Early in a relationship, infatuation and more enduring forms of
romantic love may be indistinguishable. Nonetheless, infatuation is not a necessary first
step to love, some couples feel deep feelings of love without ever experiencing the
fireworks of infatuation.
The scientific study of love is a recent development. Berscheid and Hatfield define
romantic love as the cognitive appraisal of intense physiological arousal as love.
Hendrick and Hendrick suggest that there are six styles of love among college students:
romantic love, game-playing love, friendship, logical love, possessive love and selfless
love. Sternberg proposes three distinct components of love: intimacy, passion and
decision/commitment. The combination of these elements results in different types of
love. Romantic love is characterized by the combination of passion and intimacy, but it
lacks commitment. Companionate love, characterized by intimacy and commitment but
lacking passion, is typical of long-term friendships and some long-term marriages. A
balance of all three components (consummate love) typifies what is, for many people, an
ideal relationship.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
1. Discuss the findings of the research on the role of physical attractiveness in attraction.
2. Identify the characteristics men and women look for in a potential partner for a long-
term relationship.
3. Critically analyze the sociobiological view of why men and women desire different
characteristics in their mates.
4. Explain how the “attraction-similarity hypothesis” accounts for partner choice.
5. Describe the influence of attitudinal similarity on attraction and on relationships.
6. Define reciprocity and describe its effect on attraction and on maintaining
relationships.
7. Discuss the four Greek concepts of love: storge, agape, philia and eros.
8. Identify the characteristics of and male-female differences in romantic love.
9. How connected are love and sex? Is sexual monogamy necessary for a relationship to
last successfully?
I. Attraction
• Lecture I: When you discuss the emphasis on thinness for physical attractiveness
in women in Canada, use the information in Lecture I: Body Image and the
Idealization of Thinness to supplement your lecture.
• Activity I: When you discuss physical attractiveness, distribute copies of
Analyzing Ads for Messages About Ideal Characteristics. It asks students to list
the ideal physical characteristics of males and females displayed in
advertisements for various products.
• Activity II: Have students pair up or get into small, mixed-sex groups. These
questions center on what men and women are attracted to, value in relationships,
and how they conceptualize love.
• Activity III: When discussing the attraction-similarity hypothesis, ask students
to rate the level of attractiveness of different people. Select pictures of newlyweds
or couples you know, present each partner separately and after the ranking see
how many “matches” are obtained.
II. Love
• Activity IV: In the session before introducing the topic of love, ask students to
bring the lyrics of three of their preferred love songs. In small groups, ask them to
try to see how love is defined in those songs, what type of love they are referring
to and how the contemporary definitions of love relate to them.
• Activity V: When you discuss the model of love as an appraisal of arousal, use
the activity, Thinking About Love and Gladiator Contests, or “Why I Took My
Date to See ‘Rocky 10,”’ which encourages students to think critically about the
connection between love and physiology.
• Activity VI: When you discuss love, use the questionnaire, Are You in Love?
The Love Scale, which measures the intensity of love as expressed by students’
answers.
• Activity VII: When you discuss Sternberg’s theory of love, use the activity,
Thinking About Whether All You Need is Love. It encourages students to
examine whether passion is all that is needed for an enduring, successful
relationship.
TEACHING TIPS
1. Clip and bring in advertisements featuring photos of women and men from several
general-circulation magazines. Have students in small groups analyze these for
messages about desirable physical appearance.
2. Review the studies by Maybach and Gold, Riggio and Wolland Sadalla, et al. Have
students discuss how males and females might be perceived in the following
situations, in light of the conclusions of these studies:
a) a student assertively questions an instructor’s grading policy
b) a patient assertively asks a doctor for more information on a diagnosis and
proposed treatment
c) a buyer bargains assertively with a car dealer for a new car
3. Have students generate a list of expressions about love or the way we talk about love
(falling in love, moonstruck, struck by Cupid’s arrow, swept off my feet, bewitched,
smitten, lost my heart to, fell for, lovesick, etc.). Write these on the blackboard.
Examine them for evidence of the underlying assumption that we have little or no
control over whom we love.
4. Instead of thinking of “Sleeping Beauty,” “Cinderella,” and “Snow White” as tales of
romantic love, have students think about them as tales of men’s and women’s sexual
roles. In “Sleeping Beauty,” the woman is passive/she’s “asleep” forever. She needs
only the kiss of a prince to “awaken” her. In “Cinderella,” a women with a horrible
family, great beauty and small feet is “rescued” by her prince. Snow White is envied
and poisoned because of her beauty and also “awakened” from the sleep of death by a
prince. One message of these tales is that women have no sexuality of their own and
need men to “awaken” them. The high value our society places on physical beauty
should also be obvious from these tales.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What are some things women often do to make themselves more attractive to others
despite the fact that these actions may be highly painful or uncomfortable? Are men
under the same pressure to conform to societal standards of physical attractiveness?
2. Think of the couples you know. Did opposites attract? Or are members of couples
you know highly similar? What works best in relationships?
3. What are the most important characteristics in a dating partner for you? How would
these change if you were looking for a potential spouse? What characteristics would
be “deal-breakers”?
4. What theory best explains who and why you love?
5. Think of your most fulfilling romantic relationship. Which of Sternberg’s or
Hendrick’s and Hendrick’s types of love best describes that relationship? What kind
of love do you aspire to?
6. Does the best love start as friendship? Or is passion/infatuation a more important
ingredient for love?
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Literature
Hatfield, E. and Rapson, R. (1993). Love, sex and intimacy: Their psychology, biology
and history. New York: HarperCollins College.
Hatfield, E. and Rapson R. L. (2008). Passionate love and sexual desire:
Multidisciplinary perspectives. In J. P. Forgas and J. Fitness, Social relationships:
Cognitive, affective, and motivational processes. The Sydney Symposium of Social
Psychology (pp. 21-37). New York, NY: Psychology Press.
Hendrick, S. and Hendrick, C. (1992). Liking, loving and relating (2nd ed.). Pacific
Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole
Hopper, R. (2003). Gendering Talk. East Lansing, MI: Michigan State University Press.
Levine, S. B. (1996). "Love" and the mental health professions: Toward understanding
adult love." Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 22,3, 191-202.
Malakh-Pines, A. (2005). Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose. New
York: Routledge.
Sternberg, R. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119-135.
Weber, A. and Harvey, J. (eds.) (1994). Perspectives on close relationships. Boston:
Allyn and Bacon.
Videos
(The websites for many of the major education video distribution companies are listed on
page 257 of this manual.)
The Emotional Brain: Love (2005, 45 min.) A CBC production that looks at love from
both a scientific and personal perspective. From CBC Educational Sales.
Chemistry of Love (1997, 60 min.) The video focuses on the influence of hormones and
brain chemistry on sexual arousal. The issues of romantic love and sexual attraction are
discussed. From Insight Media
Slim Hopes (1995, 30 min.) Dr. Jean Kilbourne offers an in-depth analysis of how
female bodies are depicted in advertising imagery and addresses the relationship between
the images and the obsession of girls and women with dieting and thinness. From Media
Education Foundation
Dying to Be Thin (1995, 18 min.) This program profiles a young woman obsessed with
the desire to be thin. Doctors discuss the characteristics of anorexia nervosa and bulimia
and identify those most likely to be affected by these disorders. From Films for the
Humanities and Sciences
Sex Appeal (1996, 30 min.) From the Series: Ultrascience. The film explores the
question of what is it that we really know about what causes attraction between humans?
From Ambrose Video.
Sexual Attraction (1997, 48 min.) Comments of psychologists, biologists and
anthropologists and case studies are used to explore the issues of human sexual attraction.
From Insight Media
The Familiar Face Of Love (1989, 47 min.) This film produced by Canadian
Broadcasting Corporation is an engaging study of love and loving, a look at how we
choose our mates and for what reasons. Dr. John Money, of Johns Hopkins Hospital and
author of numerous books on gender and sexuality, talks of a "love map"-a mental
blueprint of the ideal relationship we carry within us. From Filmakers Library
The Heart Has No Wrinkles (1991, 15 min.) Portrays the falling in love of two
residents from a retirement home and the reactions it provokes in the staff. From Terra
Nova
You. Your Body and Your Self-Image (1998, 28 min.) This program critically
examines pervasive gender stereotypes. Young people are alerted to the pressure of trying
to fit to an impossible ideal. Suggestions for healthy eating and exercise are given. From
Films for the Humanities and Sciences
Web Sites
http://www.livescience.com/health/060213_attraction_rules.html An article
summarizing scientific research on attraction and love.
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/factsheetsforteens/a/10thingslove.htm Information
sheet of Love: 10 points about love for teens to help recognize the sings of love, lust and
unhealthy relations, from about.com
ACTIVITIES
From popular magazines, clip ten or more advertisements for products such as colas,
liquors, cars, toothpastes, diet aids, sports and exercise equipment, etc. Now, pretend you
know very little about this culture and you are using the ads to figure out what the
“natives” view as ideal physical characteristics. After examining at least ten ads, describe
what they portray as the ideal physical characteristics of men and women. Consider
height, weight, muscular build, shape, make-up, hairstyles, facial expressions, etc. List
your findings in the columns below.
Females Males
In mixed-gender groups of three to four students each, discuss the following questions
and ideas. After 20 minutes, one student from each group should summarize the small
group discussion to the class.
2. What do men you know say they want in a long-term relationship? Women? Does
this match the research in this area?
3. How do we perceive couples in which the woman is significantly older, maybe ten
years or more? How do we perceive couples in which the man is significantly older?
Why do our perceptions differ? What about couples who seem “unbalanced” in
terms of physical attractiveness?
4. Name some of the many meanings we give to the word ”love,” besides affection for
or romantic interest in. Obviously, the meaning of the word is vague and imprecise.
What purposes might this vagueness serve?
From your newspaper section announcing engagements or some other sources of pictures
of couples, randomly select ten photos of couples. It is interesting to use different ethnic
groups as well as homosexual and heterosexual couples. Make slides of the couple
together and then of each partner separately. Randomly present the slides where the
individual is by himself or herself and ask students to rate the level of attractiveness of
the individuals in the photos from 1 (very unattractive) to 10 (very attractive.) Then let
them know that these are couples and that this is a test of the matching hypothesis, so you
want to see how many matches are there. Defining a match as a difference in ranking of
two or less results in a great demonstration. Once the scores are obtained and the students
realize how powerful the hypothesis is, show them the slides of the couples together,
usually this gives the opportunity for a good discussion on how the hypothesis is not
limited only to physical appeal.
In the session before discussing love, ask students to bring the lyrics of three of their
favourite love songs. In small groups, let them share these lyrics with the other students
and ask them to try to see what definition of love (if any) is being purported, what type of
love they represent and whether the theories or approaches to the study of love discussed
in the book are applicable to them.
Ovid, the Roman poet, suggested that young men might open their ladies’ hearts by
taking them to the gory gladiator contests (his interests were admittedly sexist). Based
upon what you’ve read of the information on the physiology of love, explain why Ovid’s
suggestions may have been right on the mark. Could going to a “horror movie” be a good
first date? Research shows couples are more likely to bond in intense emotional
experiences, or when physiological responses (e.g., increased heart rate) are intensified.
Directions: Circle the number that best shows how true or false the items are for you
according to this code:
7 = definitely true
6 = rather true
5 = somewhat true
4 = not sure, or equally true and false
3 = somewhat false
2 = rather false
1 = definitely false
The table below shows the mean (average) scores for 220 Northeastern University
undergraduate students. Students were asked to indicate whether they were “absolutely in
love,” “probably in love,” “not sure,” “probably not in love,” or “definitely not in love”
with a person they were dating. Mean scores for men and women were not significantly
different, so they were combined to form the means. If your own score is 85, your
feelings of love toward your partner would fall between those of the Northeastern
students who said that they were “probably in love” and those who reported being
“absolutely in love” with their partners.
Let us caution, however, that arguments have erupted between dating partners whose
love scores for one another differed by a few points! The Love Scale is meant to be a
crude index of the intensity of love, not a scientifically precise measurement. Don’t take
your score so seriously. The scale is meant to be fun, so rely on your feelings toward one
another, not on your score per se.
* Number of students
Rathus, S. A. and Nevid, J. S. (1992). Adjustment and growth: The challenges of life. (fifth edition) Fort
Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, pp. 416, 597.
According to the Beatles song, “All you need is love.” Is it so? Is love all you need to
have a lasting relationship (that is, as they say in the fairy tales, to “live happily ever
after”)?
Let us offer the not-too-risky conjecture that you don’t conjure up an image of
compassionate love. Do you even think of romantic love, which combines passion and
intimacy? Probably not. The song is most suggestive of passion—of trusting and going
with your feelings.
Is passion all you need to make an enduring, successful relationship? What other
aspects of love relationships may be needed for a relationship to deepen and endure? If
we stick to passionate love as our definition, then need we fly by the seats of our pants to
arrive at an answer, or is there actual evidence on the matter? Yes, Virginia, there really
is some evidence and it is reported in Chapter 6. Any conclusions?
Some men have claimed to be leafing through the pages of Playboy to explore cultural
standards for beauty. Garner and his colleagues 1 actually did so, however. They sought
to document changing standards of ideal girth. To do so, they compared pictures of
Playboy centerfolds, Miss America contestants and women’s magazine models since the
1950s. The ideal feminine form turns out to have shed pounds across the decades,
becoming progressively thinner. In the 1950s, large-breasted women were the ideal;
bustlines and hips are now smaller in proportion to waistlines.
As the ideal slims down, average and heavier-than-average women come under
greater pressure to follow suit. Agras and Kirkley 2 documented concern about losing
weight by counting diet articles in three women’s magazines since 1900: Ladies’ Home
Journal, Good Housekeeping and Harper’s Bazaar. No diet articles were found in any of
the magazines until the 1930s. In the 1930s and 1940s, about one article appeared about
every 10 issues. In the 1950s and 1960s, articles could be found in every other issue.
During the 1980s the average increased to 1.3 articles per issue, more than one per issue!
Children are also unhappy with their bodies. A study of 571 preadolescents and
adolescents found that both genders were largely unhappy with their bodies.3 Boys
wanted to be heavier and girls, thinner. A recent nationwide survey reported by the
Centers for Disease Control found that 34 percent of high school girls considered
themselves overweight, compared to 15 percent of boys.4 An astonishing 44 percent of
high school girls were trying to lose weight, including 27 percent of girls who thought
that they were already the right weight. As adolescent girls accumulate (normal) fatty
tissue, especially in the hips, the gulf between their figures and their ideals begins to
widen.5 Among the girls who saw themselves as overweight, 95 percent had tried
exercise to shed pounds, 34 percent reported using diet pills and 23 percent had tried
vomiting.
Boskind-White and White6 take a dim view of the problems engendered by the
contemporary ideal:
. . . if the toxic chain reaction of the terror of fat, fad diets and eating disorders
is to be broken, it is essential for the public to be properly informed regarding
the dangers inherent in severe caloric deprivations. The media and fashion
industry must take responsibility and introduce models that are womanly and fit
rather than emaciated and unhealthy. Only then will- women, young and old,
begin to value themselves enough to reject inappropriate roles and implement
more effective coping strategies with respect to food.
1 Garner, D. M. et al. (1980). “Cultural expectations of thinness in women.” Psychological Reports, 47,
483-491.
2 Agras, W. S. and Kirkley, B. G. (1986). “Bulimia: Theories of etiology.” In K. D. Brownell and J. P.
Foreyt (eds.), Handbook of eating disorders, pp. 367-378. New York: Basic Books.
3 Cohn, L. D., et al. (1987). “Body figure preferences in male and female adolescents.” Journal of
Abnormal Psychology, 96, 276-279.
4 Associated Press. (1991, November 1). “Girls twice as likely as boys to think themselves fat, study
finds.” The Hartford Courant, p. A3.
5 Cohn, L. D., et al. (1987). “Body figure preferences in male and female adolescents.” Journal of
Abnormal Psychology, 96, 276-279.
6 Boskind-White, Mand White, W. C. (1986). “Bulimarexia: A historical-sociocultural perspective.” In K.
D. Brownell and J. P. Foreyt (eds.), Handbook of eating disorders: Physiology, psychology and treatment
of obesity, anorexia and bulimia pp. 363-364. New York: Basic Books.