Wonders

‫בס"ד‬

Weekly Magazine of the Shiurim and Farbrengens

Issue 66 of Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh
Shabbat Beha’alotcha 5783  J  June 9-10, 2023
‫כא ִסיוָן תשפ"ג‬-‫  כ‬J  ‫ׁ ַש ָּבת ּ ָפ ָר ׁ ַשת ְ ּבהַ עֲ ל ֹו ְת ָך‬

3 Story
Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu:
A Flash of Wisdom that
7 Hitbonenut
Chasidut

Prevented Intermarriage Chasidic Meditation

in Our Generation
12 Pirkei Avot
Good, Better, and
Even Better
This multi-stage structure
for hitbonenut forms the
foundation for a spiritual

14 Mystery of Marriage
Mirror Psychology
education, garnered at
seeing the grace of God
in all things in reality.
It follows the order of
creation, from how time
and space emerge from
nothingness and proceeds
to develop until the
intellect is revealed.

The resting place

of Rabbi Chaim
Yosef David
Azulai—the
Chida, and Rabbi
Mordechai Eliyahu
 The Lubavitcher Rebbe to Rav Ginsburgh, Elul 5741
“…It would be proper
to publish your classes
in book form.
With blessings for success…”

An anthology from the shiurim and farbrengens

of Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh

An anthology from the shiurim and farbrengens

Wonders
of Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh
An anthology
Editorial from the
Board: Moshe shiurim
Genuth andGiladi
and Itiel farbrengens
of Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh
Wonders is distributed weekly in Israel and North America.
Editorial Board: Moshe Genuth and Itiel Giladi
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Wonders Staff
R. Moshe Genuth, Editor • Shelli Karzen , Associate Editor
Yoel Broderick, Typesetting
Story
Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu
A Flash of Wisdom that Prevented Intermarriage
Rabbi Mordechai Tzemach Eliyahu was born on 21 Adar A 5689 (1929) to
Rabbi Salman Eliyahu, a Kabbalist and disciple of the Ben Ish Chai, and to
his mother Mazal nee Tzadkah, the sister of Rabbi Yehudah Tzadkah and the
granddaughter of the Ben Ish Chai’s sister. From childhood, Rabbi Eliyahu
was exceptionally talented. The family, however, lived in dire poverty. When
Rabbi Eliyahu was just eleven years old, his father passed away and he had
to work to help support his family. He went to work selling cooked garbanzo
beans and then became a mezuzah checker for the mezuzot that his brother,
Rabbi Na’im Eliyahu, had written. Despite the hard work, Rabbi Eliyahu
continued to study whenever and wherever he could. In his youth, he learned
under the tutelage of Rabbi Ezra Atiyah in the Porat Yosef Yeshivah and
under Rabbi Tzedakah Chutzin. When he was 20 years old, he was a member
of the Brit HaKana’im, an underground movement that aimed to make Israel
a state that would be governed by Jewish law and coerce the public to keep
the mitzvot of the Torah. Years later he said that “the path that I had chosen
in the past is not appropriate for our generation.”
At the beginning of 5720 (1960) Rabbi Eliyahu was appointed as the youngest
ever dayan (judge) to the rabbinical court in Be’er Sheva. That year, the bones
of the famous rabbinic figure, Chaim Yosef David Azulai—the Chida—were
brought to Israel for reburial from Italy and Rabbi Eliyahu attended to his
burial in Jerusalem. After four years in Be’er Sheva, he became a member of
the regional rabbinical court in Jerusalem. In 5730 (1970), he was appointed
to the Great Rabbinical Court. On 4 Nissan 5743 (1983) Rabbi Eliyahu was
chosen as the Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel, alongside Chief Ashkenazi
Rabbi Avraham Elkanah Kahana Shapira. Even after he finished his tenure
as Chief Rabbi, Rabbi Eliyahu remained the spiritual leader of multitudes. He
was known as a Kabbalist and miracle worker.
Rabbi Eliyahu was the president of Kollel Darchei Hora’ah in Jerusalem,
which trains young Torah scholars to become rabbis and community leaders
in Israel and abroad. Today, there are over 60 shluchim (emissaries) of Rabbi
Eliyahu’s disciples throughout the world and in Israel.
After a period of two years in which Rabbi Eliyahu’s health constantly
deteriorated, the tzaddik passed away on 25 Sivan 5770 (2010). He was
buried together with the Chida, whose bones he had buried there fifty years
earlier.

Once, when Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu was Chief Rabbi of Israel, he made an official
visit to France, where the official delegation of the Jewish community of France

ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS 3
 awaited him. There was a woman there, one of the important members of the CRIF
(Representative Council of the Jewish Institutions of France) responsible for the
reception. During the event, this woman approached Rabbi Eliyahu and asked to
speak to him alone.

The Rabbi found a quiet corner and the woman poured out her heart to him: “My
daughter met a young Muslim man. She fell in love with him and has informed
me that they are getting married.” Rabbi Eliyahu asked a number of questions,
and the woman related that the young man was a member of an important family
and they had already set a wedding date for the near future. In keeping with the
Muslim sha’ariya, the chief mufti of Paris would be performing the wedding. The
woman told Rabbi Eliyahu, that she no longer wished to live, for her daughter had
hardened her heart and would not listen to any of her pleas.

“When you go home today,” Rabbi Eliyahu replied, “I ask you to tell your daughter
that she should at least take upon herself to keep one of the mitzvot of the holy
Torah. In the home she is planning on making with the Muslim, there should
be two kitchen sinks: one for meat and the other for dairy. The woman agreed
and Rabbi Eliyahu blessed her from the depths of his heart that his words would
penetrate her daughter’s heart and that she would agree to that one request.

A number of days later, an official ceremony was held for Rabbi Eliyahu in the
palace of the then French President, Jacques Chirac. Among the other guests, the
Rabbi met the Chief Mufti of Paris, who was invited to the event as the head of the
Muslim community. Rabbi Eliyahu approached him, shook his hand warmly and
embarked on a friendly conversation with him in Arabic. They asked each other
where they were born, and discovered that both of them were born in the Old City
of Jerusalem and that they had even been neighbors as children. The conversation
became more and more friendly and the Mufti was taken with Rabbi Eliyahu’s
charm.

“My dear friend,” Rabbi Eliyahu whispered to the Mufti, “because we are not only
friends, but also neighbors, I want to reveal something important to you. True, I
am a Jew, and you are a Muslim, but we must each preserve our own unique path.
When I came to France, I heard about a Jewish girl who is planning to marry a
Muslim boy. Actually however her plan is to draw him into Judaism and to cause
him to convert to Judaism!”

The Mufti reddened with anger, but Rabbi Eliyahu continued: “I did not come here
to anger you, but I do want to give you all the details, the girl’s name and her

4 SHABBAT BEHA’ALOTCHA 5783 ∕ ISSUE 66

 strategy, so that you will put her in her place. We, men of religion, must maintain
the borders between religions. If today, a Jewish girl can convince her Muslim
boyfriend to convert, then tomorrow there will be the opposite situation and
Muslim boys will pressure Jewish girls to become Muslims.”

The Mufti saw that Rabbi Eliyahu was serious and paid close attention to the
details about the girl. The rabbi gave him her name and mentioned that she had
decided to demand that there would be two sinks in their home. That would be
only the beginning, for she intended to add more and more commandments until
the Muslim would convert to Judaism. “I know them and they have asked me to
officiate at their wedding,” the Mufti said. I will call the boy tomorrow and will ask
him if his fiancée is planning to install two sinks in their new kitchen. If so, nothing
will help him. I will force him to leave her!” the Mufti said.

On the day that Rabbi Eliyahu was returning to Israel, the CRIF delegation once
again accompanied him. Once again, the same woman approached Rabbi Eliyahu
and asked to speak with him privately. This time the tears in her eyes were tears of
joy. She related that less than just a week ago, she had convinced her daughter, as
per Rabbi Eliyahu’s instructions, to install two separate sinks in her future home.
Yesterday, her daughter came home sobbing and broken. She told her mother that
her Muslim boyfriend had broken their engagement and told her that he never
wanted to see her again. He was overtaken by the thought that the two sinks were
just an excuse that would eventually convince him to convert to Judaism, and he
was furious. As much as she denied this, she did not manage to convince him, and
he abandoned her forever.

Wisdom and Shrewdness

W e can apply the verse “I am

wisdom, my neighbor is
shrewdness” 1 ( ‫ )אֲ‍ ִני חָ כְ מָ ה ׁ ָש ַכ ְנ ִּתי עָ ְרמָ ה‬to this
story. Because of his Muslem neighbor,
Rabbi Eliyahu was forced to fulfill
the words of the Talmud, “A person
should always be shrewd in [order to
attain] fear of Heaven” 2 ( ‫לְ ע ֹולָם יְהֵ א אָ ָדם עָ רו ּם‬
‫) ְ ּבי ְִראָ ה‬. Rashi explains that the meaning
is that one should employ all sorts
of deviousness in order to serve the
Creator with awe.
In Chasidic philosophy, shrewdness is
associated with the power of the intellect
( ‫ש ִ ּכיל‬
ׂ ְ ‫)כּ ֹחַ הַ ּ ַמ‬, a super-conscious faculty of the
soul also known as the concealed wisdom
( ‫)חָ כְ מָ ה ְס ִתימָ אָ ה‬, the source of the super-
conscious flashes of insight of wisdom that
a person experiences during his lifetime. It
enclothes within it the attribute of might
of the higher aspect of the crown, known
as Atik Yomin (the Ancient of Days). This
particular attribute is also referred to in
the Zohar as the butzina dekardonita. 3

ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS 5
The Zohar also refers to it as the “rod
of measurement” ( ‫)קַ ו הַ ִּמדָּ ה‬, because it
is also the basis of all measurements;
measurements are used to define the
limited size of an object.
In our story, we see the connection
between Rabbi Eliyahu’s wisdom and his
might, which as noted is responsible for
setting up limits and borders—in this
case at first between dairy and meat and
then in his words to the mufti that men
and women of different religions should
not mix. About wisdom it is said, “Who
is wise? He who sees that which will be
1. Proverbs 8:12.
2. Berachot 17a.
3. Tanya, Sha’ar HaYichud VeHaEmunah, ch. 4.
6
born [or begotten]” and in this case,
Rabbi Eliyahu was shrewd enough to see
that by getting the young woman to set up
boundaries between dairy and meat, her
engagement to the Muslim man would be
called off.
Rabbi Eliyahu’s clarity and propitious
advice came as the result of years upon
years of studying the intricacies of
the Torah’s fine print in legal matters,
which train the individual to make hair-
splitting decisions, thereby exercising and
awakening his super-conscious powers of
the intellect.
SHABBAT BEHA’ALOTCHA 5783 ∕ ISSUE 66
Chasidut
Hitbonenut
Chasidic Meditation in Our Generation
S ensitivity for the changing mentality
of each generation, with its
constantly renewing scientific worldview
that also brings about cultural change,
requires adaptations in the work of
Chasidic meditation, or Hitbonenut.
Unlike studying, whose main purpose is
gathering knowledge and understanding
the content found in books, the purpose
of Hitbonenut is to internalize things in
the mind and heart: “Know therefore this
day, and consider it in your heart, that
Havayah is God in heaven above, and
upon the earth beneath: there is none
else” 1 ; the goal is the settling of things
in the mentality of the contemplating
yud
hei
vav
hei
T ime and space, corresp ond to
wisdom and understanding, since
they are like "two companions that never
part" 5 (as they are perceived in today's
scientific picture including Einstein's
general theory of relativity, as dimensions
of a single space-time continuum) 6 they
are the relatively concealed realm of
reality, whose boundaries and substance
* Excerpted from the teshurah passed out at the wedding of HaRav Ginsburgh's grandson, Shalom Dovber
Hendel and Heti Leah, 17 Sivan, 5783
ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS
person, in his awareness and experience. 2
T h e re fore, c onte mpl at i on mu st b e
f a s c i n at i n g f o r t h e c o nt e mp o r a r y
individual and suitable to his or her
worldview. So, to continue the Chabad
contemplation tradition, we need to offer
deep contemplation that suits the reality
perception of our generation.
While in the past it was clear that “the
definition of ‘world’ [olam] referred
specifically to space and time,” 3 today's
scientific worldview has expanded to also
include energy and mass. As explained
extensively elsewhere, 4 the fundamental
structure of God’s essential Name,
Havayah, in our generation is,
time
space
energy (force)
mass (matter)
are unknown. On the other hand, energy
and matter (which Einstein unified with
his universally famous equation 7 E = mc 2)
correspond to the revealed part of reality,
since they are readily seen and experienced
by our physical senses.
There is a leap between stages in this
four-level model of the universe. Between
time and space there is a contraction-
7
like leap. Time/wisdom constitutes the
"beginning of the revelation" 8 of the
nothingness that brings existence into
being; it is the beginning of the revelation of
"[know that] you come from nothingness" 9
( ‫את‬
ָ ‫)מֵ אַ יִן ָּב‬. It is this “nothingness” ( ‫ )אָ יִן‬that
is revealed to "the wise who sees what
will be brought into being" 10 ( ‫חָ ָכם הָ ר ֹואֶ ה אֶ ת‬
‫—)הַ ּנ ֹולָד‬the eternal coming into being from
nothingness. 11 Space/understanding is
considered the "beginning of reality," 12 i.e.,
it constitutes "the possibility of reality," 13 a
connotation for the World of Creation in
which understanding nests, and that is the
creation of space in which the existence
of reality is possible. Thus, time enables
the summoning or the invitation of reality
to appear from the nothingness, but still
requires a contraction-type leap to conceal
the nothingness from which reality is
created and which provides a space where
existence will be possible.
After the creation of time and space,
described in the first two verses of the
Torah, the light-energy appears in the third
verse (force as energy, relative to ordinary
light, refers to the electromagnetic
force). The light particle, the photon, is
massless and the transition from energy
to matter also requires a leap. This leap is
described in Kabbalah as a result of "the
condensation of the lights" 14 from which
vessels were created. In physics, the leap is
the result of a mysterious particle to which
belongs the mysterious number 137, the
fine-structure constant, which is the ratio
between the speed of the wave to the speed
of the lightest particle 15).
This structure can be extended further
to include three more concepts that evolve
8
from the realm of reality (which includes
time and space) and its building blocks
(referring to energy and mass). First, there
is motion. Within space and time, particles
of matter move as a result of energy. Pure
motion, without friction or resistance,
continues indefinitely—unidirectionally,
if the universe is unlimited, or back and
forth, if the the universe is limited. Even
the transition from a state of a dormant
particle to one that is in motion is
something of a leap, which still requires
some examination to see how it is defined
scientifically.
Then comes a huge leap—from random
motion to life. A leap of this type can be
seen taking place between the descriptions
of the second and third days of Genesis.
At first this leap leads to life in the
form of the plant kingdom and then
continues to the life inherent in living
creatures. Motion, like the four levels
that preceded it, has no way to overcome,
if only temporarily, entropy. But life is a
miraculous phenomenon that contradicts
and fights against the law of entropy. The
leap to life begins with motion, following
the statement that, "all living things are in
motion." 16 Thus, motion is what enables
the appearance of life. The next stage,
the seventh (and cherished element 17) in
this contemplation is the leap from life
to intelligent life, life that can be defined
as sentient or intelligent (intelligence).
The mind of the intelligent creature is
expressed through all its senses and among
the people of Israel it also includes free
choice. 18
Let us offer a numerical allusion
analyzing these seven levels. The value of
SHABBAT BEHA’ALOTCHA 5783 ∕ ISSUE 66
the first four: “time, space, force, matter”
( ‫ )זְ ָמן ָמק ֹום ּכֹחַ ח ֹ ֶמר‬is 559, half the value of
the Shema, “Hear, O Israel: Havayah is our
God, Havayah is one.” 19 The numerical
value of the three remaining levels,
“motion, life, intellect” ( ‫שכֶ ל‬
949, which among other things equals
“love of Israel” ( ‫ש ָראֵ ל‬ ׂ ְ ‫)אַ הֲ בַ ת ִי‬, or the product
of “love” ( ‫ ) ַאהֲ בָ ה‬and “wisdom” ( ‫)חָ כְ ָמה‬.
The numerical value of all seven levels is
thus 1508, the product of “grace” ( ‫ )חֵ ן‬and
Havayah, God’s essential Name, whose
value is 26.
This multi-stage structure for
hitbonenut—Chasidic meditation—forms
the foundation for a spiritual education, 20
garnered at seeing the grace of God in all
things in reality. It follows the order of
creation, from how time and space emerge
from nothingness and then proceed to
develop until the intellect is revealed (with
the apex of the intellect being the Divine
intellect of the Divine soul).
Preceding all seven stages, which are all
stages of existence, stands the nothingness,
the ayin. After all, everything, beginning
with time and space, comes into being out
of nothingness. The first to be created from
nothingness is time—the very essence of its
existence is intangible and still relatively
considered nothingness, as captured by the
famous saying that, “the past is no more,
the future has yet to come, the present is
but the blink of an eye” 21 ( ,‫ הֶ עָ ִתיד ֲע ַדיִן‬,‫הֶ עָ בָ ר אַ יִן‬
‫)הַ הֹוֶה ְ ּכהֶ ֶרף עַ יִן‬.
Kabbalah explains that existence of time
stems from the Torah. 22 “Torah emerges
from wisdom” 23 and “wisdom will emerge
from nothingness.” 24 Now, the study of
the Torah is meant to be experienced with
ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS
"awe, fear, trembling, and sweat" (just as
it was when the Torah was initially given
at Mt. Sinai). Every time we engage in
learning Torah, we are meant to experience
it as if this is the first time the Torah was
ׂ ֵ ‫ ) ְּתנו ּעָ ה חַ יִּים‬is given. 25 Time too is experienced with a
sense of fear. We may surmise that the
reality of time begins from a “tremble” 26
( ‫—) ֶר ֶתת‬the creative tremor, which like
a Big Bang, creates the “blink of an eye”
that is the present moment. This tremor
or shaking creates the inner pulse of time
alluded to in the Torah’s very first word, “In
the beginning” indicating the formation
of time 27; the letters of “in the beginning”
( ‫אשית‬ ִ ׁ ‫ ) ְ ּב ֵר‬permute to spell the word meaning
“abrupt” 28 ( ‫אשי‬ ִ ׁ ֹ ‫ ) ַּבת ר‬and referring to the
sudden backwards motion of the head. 29
Out of the space-time created from the
tremble, all of reality begins to grow, step
by step. Indeed, it should be considered
that even the "beginning of the revelation"
of nothingness, as in “wisdom will emerge
from nothingness” is real in comparison
to the nothingness that preceded its
revelation.
The Mittler Rebbe of Chabad states 30
that, ever y day a p erson needs to
contemplate the entire order of evolution
( ‫)סֵ ֶדר הִ ׁ ְש ּ ַתלְ ׁ ְשלו ּת‬, from the light of the infinite
that preceded the contraction with its
various levels all the way to reality—to its
different degrees—and up to the created
reality we encounter every day before our
eyes. However, in our times, it is possible
to propose the contemplation we have
proposed here, with all its stages and leaps,
which also describes the entire process of
creating reality from nothingness.
Still, there is a significant difference
9
between what the Mittler Rebbe prescribed
and our suggestion here. By the Mittler
Rebbe, we contemplate the evolution of
reality from above to below. Our seven-
stage contemplation proceeds in the
opposite direction, from below to above, in
what is essentially a process of development
(like an evolution) from bottom to top,
from the simple to the complex. The
order from the simple to the complex was
known by the early philosophers as the
“natural order” 31 ( ‫) ְק ִדימָ ה ִ ּבזְ מַ ן‬, the order
of development of Nature itself. Even if
the roots of time and space are ultimately
higher, their reality constitutes a relatively
simple concept.
In other words, in our meditative
structure, we start from the Divine
nothingness, from which the simple and
lowest foundation is formed first, and then
higher and higher complexity emerges.
Thus, relatively speaking, following the
process from above to below corresponds
to the Written Torah—the Torah that
itself descended from heaven to earth
(“Those situated above will come down”),
while following the process from below
to above corresponds to the Oral Torah,
which “grows” from below (completing the
second half of this saying, with “The lower
ascends” 32).
These two directions and approaches
are characterized by the relationship
between a groom and a bride. For our
generation, the generation of the coming
of the Mashiach, which is a feminine
generation, 33 contemplation from below
to above (using the natural order) is more
appropriate. Going from below to above
is akin to the concept of reflected light,
which tends to “returns to [above] its
origin.” 34

1. Deuteronomy 4:39.
2. See also the shiur from the 7th of Elul, 5782 (can be found in Hebrew on www.galeinai.org.il(.
3. Tanya, Sha’ar HaYichud VeHa’emunah, ch. 7.
4. In a seminar dedicated to Einstein’s special and general theories of relativity. A transcription of the
seminar appears in Mivchar Shi’urei Hitbonenut vol. 15 and this particular topic is covered from pp. 163ff.
5. See Zohar 3:290b and 1:123a.
6. From the perspective of the Torah’s inner dimension there are two possible ways to see the relationship
between time and space. One possibility is that the empty void created by the contraction of God’s infinite
light is itself space, while time is represented by the ray of light that entered the empty void. This first
option follows the philosophical stance expressed by Rav Sa’adyah Ga’on in Emunot VeDe’ot end of ma’amar
1 and in Maimonides’ Guide to the Perplexed 2:13 and 2:30. Another possibility is that time precedes space
and allows it to come into being. These two options correspond to the relationship between wisdom and
understanding, which have separate origins, with
7. Which stands for Energy equals mass times the square of the speed of light, where the square of the
speed of light is alluded to in the two mentions of the word “light” in the verse describing light’s creation,
“God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”
8. See Eitz Chaim 42:1.
9. Avot 3:1.
10. Tamid 32a.
11. Tanya ch. 43.
12. See Shiurim BeSod HaShem LiYerei’av vol. 3, p. 163.
13. See Sefer Hama’amarim 5662, p. 356 and Sefer Hama’amarim 5686 p. 30. See Sod HaShem LiYerei’av 2:1.

10 SHABBAT BEHA’ALOTCHA 5783 ∕ ISSUE 66

14. See Eitz Chaim 7:1.
15. The electron, which moves around the atomic nucleus, which is why we call it an Ofan (‫ )א ֹופָ ן‬in
Hebrew. The value of Ofan (‫ )א ֹופָ ן‬is exactly 137.
16. Rabbi Avraham Abulafia’s Mafte’ach HaRaayon, tav.
17. Vayikra Rabbah 29:9.
18. See Midbar Shur, 43 (p. 314).
19. Deuteronomy 6:4.
20. As explained in the part of the Tanya known as “Chinuch Katan,” the introduction to the Tanya’s
second part, the Gate of Unification and Faith.
21. Mareh Mussar, hei. See Pele Yo’etz s.v. De’agah.
22. See sources cited in Torat Menachem vol. 19, p. 88, note 46.
23. Zohar 2:121a and also 2:85a.
24. Job 28:12.
25. Berachot 22a.
26. The value of “tremble” (‫ ) ֶר ֶתת‬is 1000, the secret of the 1000 lights given to Moses at Mt. Sinai. This
tremble (pronounced Retet) is the source of the reading of the Book of “Ruth” on Shavu’ot.
27. Guide to the Perplexed ibid.
28. Pardes Riomonim 10:8.
29. See Yoma 38b.
30. Kuntres HaHitpa’alut (Likkutei Bi’urim) 53b.
31. Maimonides, Milot HaHigayon, sha’ar 12.
32. Shemot Rabbah 12:3.
33. See shiur from 7 Adar 5777 (available on www.galeinai.org.il).
34. Mittler Rebbe, Sha’ar HaEmunah ch. 15.

ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS 11
Pirkei Avot 2:9
Good, Better, and Even
Better
Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai had five disciples…He would recount their
praises… Rabbi Elazar ben Arach is as an ever-increasing wellspring…
Abba Shaul said in his name: If all the sages of Israel were to be
placed on one cup of a balance-scale and Elazar ben Arach was in the
other, he would outweigh them all.
R abbi Elazar Ben Arach is recognized
here as a great Torah scholar, as an
“ever-increasing wellspring” that never
stops flowing and is constantly innovating
new Torah thoughts and outweighs all the
sages of Israel. In the next mishnah, Rabbi
Yochanan Ben Zakai asks his disciples for
the best path a person should pursue in life
and the path from which to most distance
himself in life. Each of his five disciples
provides a different answer and ultimately,
Rabbi Yochanan agrees with Rabbi Elazar
ben Arach: the proper way, the good path
to pursue is that of “a good heart” and
the path from which to distance is “a bad
heart.” Rabbi Yochanan justifies his choice
by stating that Rabbi Elazar ben Arach’s
answers are all-inclusive and the replies of
his colleagues are to be found in his own.
Rabbi Elazar ben Arach was also
The Path of the Restless
R abbi Elazar ben Arach was
characterized by restlessness. He
was not content remaining in one place but
always needed to progress and pursue new
achievements. His thirst was not quenched
by the Torah’s revealed dimension, so
12
very learned in the Torah’s concealed
dimension. After he expounded deeply
upon the Workings of the Chariot, his
teacher kissed him on his head and said,
“How happy are you, O’ Abraham, that
Elazar ben Arach is your offspring!” 1
Despite all this, the Talmud 2 recounts
that Rabbi Elazar ben Arach went to the
hot springs of Deyomset, a place rich
with the pleasures of this world, where he
forgot all the Torah he had learned. The
situation was so bad that when he returned
and was set to read from a Torah scroll, his
reading was riddled with serious mistakes.
His friends saw what had happened to
him, prayed for him, and requested mercy
for him so that his knowledge would
be restored. Their prayers were indeed
answered, and Rabbi Elazar Ben Arach’s
Torah knowledge returned to him.
he became an expert in its concealed
dimension. He could not rest in one place
but was always searching. Hence, when
he did attempt to remain and settle down
in one place, his great intellect atrophied,
and he forgot the Torah he had mastered.
SHABBAT BEHA’ALOTCHA 5783 ∕ ISSUE 66
The moral is that one should not remain
for long in the same place (spiritually).
What’s Better than Good?
E lazar ben Arach was a tzaddik. But even
a tzaddik has what to strive for. As the
Zohar says, the Mashiach will come to make
the tzaddikim into ba’alei teshuvah—not in
the classic sense of someone who repents
for their transgressions, as a tzaddik does
not have transgression, but in the wider
sense of working to elevate that which the
tzaddik who only follows a straight path
cannot touch. Thus, Elazar ben Arach is
an example of a ba’al teshuvah, someone
who has mastered the power of teshuvah
and is able to constantly push above and
beyond the foundations he was given by his
teachers.3
A Third Stage
S o far, we have seen that the tzaddik who
is set in his ways is “good,” while the
ba’al teshuvah identifies with the search for
the “better.” However, within teshuvah there
are two distinct levels or types.6 It may seem
that we can suffice ourselves with the basic
level of return to God out of fear, called
“lower teshuvah.” True teshuvah, however, is
endless and continues forever going “from
strength to strength.” The second distinct
level of teshuvah is known as teshuvah from
love of God or “higher teshuvah.”
Thus, we can extrapolate regarding our
Notes:
1. Chagigah 14b.
2. Shabbat 147b.
3. See the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s explanation of our
mishnah in Likkutei Sichot vol. 10, pp. 82ff.
4. See Sefer Hasichot – 5707, beginning of p. 62.
ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS
Instead, one should always seek to make
progress and ascend to higher levels.
Thus, the tzaddik finds the good to be
sufficient, while the ba’al teshuvah always
strives for more than the good—he strives
to attain the better. Indeed, a well-known
Chasidic aphorism states, “If the good
is good, isn’t the better even better?” 4 In
a similar vein, the Zohar states that the
Mashiach will come to make the tzaddikim
into ba’alei teshuvah, 5 in other words, he
will teach them to not be content with the
good, but to seek the better. We can begin
to learn how to return to God Mashiach-
style from Elazar ben Arach ( ‫)אֶ לְ עָ זָר ֶ ּבן עֲ ָר ְך‬,
the value of whose name is the same as,
“good, better” ( ‫)ט ֹוב י ֹו ֵתר ט ֹוב‬.
search for the good and suggest that after
the pursuit of the “good” and the “better,”
there is another level of pursuit of the good
that corresponds to higher teshuvah. Let’s
call this the search for that which is “even
better” ( ‫)ע ֹוד י ֹו ֵתר ט ֹוב‬. This is the level that
Mashiach himself pursues. Incredibly, the
value of all three levels of good, “good,
better, even better” ( ‫ ע ֹוד י ֹו ֵתר ט ֹוב‬,‫ י ֹו ֵתר ט ֹוב‬,‫)ט ֹוב‬
is the same as “And the spirit of God was
hovering over the face of the waters” ( ַ‫וְרו ּח‬
‫ל ֹ ִהים ְמ ַרחֶ פֶ ת עַ ל ְּפנֵי הַ ּ ָמיִם‬- ֱ‫)א‬, which the sages say
refers to the soul of the Mashiach.
5. Following Zohar 3:153b. Quoted and explained
in Likkutei Torah, Shemini Atzeret 92b and Shir
Hashirim 50b.
6. See in length in Lectures in Sod Hashem
LiYerei’av, appearing in Wonders Issue 33 and on as
“Fundamentals of Chasidut.”
13
Mystery of Marriage
Mirror Psychology
This article is part of a series of rewrites of HaRav Ginsburgh’s bestselling
book, The Mystery of Marriage, intended for a universal audience. Written
by Mrs. Sara Esther Crispe who lectures widely and coaches singles and
couples based on HaRav Ginsburgh’s teachings.
S o how do we know when we are really
working on our relationship in the
deepest of ways? Clearly when we are happy
and connecting that is a good indication.
But how do we know we are doing the soul
work? Reaching that soul level?
The greatest proof that we are thinking,
speaking and acting in a connected way is
not based on how it makes us feel, but how
our spouse is feeling. It is easy to believe
that we have no impact on how someone
else chooses to think, speak, or behave.
After all, how can I possibly influence what
someone else does? Yet there is the idea
that both consciously and unconsciously,
others sense our motives and respond
accordingly, both intentionally and
instinctively.
Now to counter, this is not to say that if
my spouse is acting in a harmful, abusive,
or negative manner that it is because I have
done something to cause that or deserve
that. The only one responsible for negative
behavior is the one who chooses to act out
that negativity. No matter how far one is
pushed or how unhealthy the environment
is, that never gives a reason or excuse for
anyone to be emotionally or physically
abusive. That said, if one is feeling
negatively because of the behaviors of the
other, that should then be the indication
that something needs to change. And fast.
14
The real point here is that when we
are truly connected, if we are treating
our spouse with heartfelt love, respect,
and attention, that should be mirrored
with feelings of security, comfort, and
attachment and then reflected with
heartfelt love, respect, and attention, in
return. When this is not happening, it is
because of some disconnect that needs to
be addressed.
“Like water [which reflects], the face
reflects the face, so does one’s heart find
reflection in another’s.” 1 Translated into
modern terms this means that when you
are feeling positive about another, you
are often looking in the mirror. And
likewise, when something bothers you in
someone else, you are often looking in the
mirror! We see what we want to see and
we feel about the other usually the way
we are really feeling about ourselves. This
miscommunication is what leads to many
issues. Often our own insecurities cause
us to see the negative in our relationship
and then if those insecurities manifest in
how we are treating and interacting with
our spouse, our spouse will reflect that
negativity back to us with lack of warmth
or closeness.
Relationships are hard, not because
we have to learn how to connect with
someone else, but ultimately because
SHABBAT BEHA’ALOTCHA 5783 ∕ ISSUE 66
we have to learn how to connect with
ourselves. We often get through life
pushing down the feelings we don’t want
to feel, the memories we don’t want to
face, and the experiences that make us
uncomfortable. Now here comes along
another person who is opening up to us,
who is pushing us to be open and honest in
return, and we are not always willing and
ready to open up. But when we close off
parts of ourselves—emotions that we can’t
face—then those emotions are not available
for our partner. And when we deny them
a complete connection, he or she will feel
disconnected, and the relationship will
suffer because of it.
Therefore, the way we know we are really
connecting as one on the soul level is when
we feel intense love and completeness and
it is reflected by our spouse who is both
giving it back to us and receiving it from
us simultaneously.
Reaching this point is the tricky part.
Especially when we live in a society that
keeps telling us that if we are not feeling
love, support, comfort, or happiness,
we should seek it elsewhere. There is so
much push on the part of society to do
what feels good and leave behind anyone
or anything dragging you down. But the
Torah approach is that if you recognize
you are not feeling the way you want to
be feeling, do not immediately blame the
other, but begin by looking within and see
what is lacking that needs to be filled so
that you can give in a healthy and positive
way. In a balanced relationship, that will
then be reflected back.
We need to not blame the other for what
we are lacking. At the same time, we also
need to want to recognize that if our partner
is not feeling complete, then perhaps there
is something we have not been willing or
able to give that we want to work on. This is
a fine line. We are ultimately not responsible
for how anyone else is feeling, and yet we
want to do our utmost to ensure we are
providing support and love in the best way
we can. Likewise, our partner is ultimately
not responsible for what we are feeling, and
we want to self-reflect and do whatever we
can to improve our state of mind and heart.
At the same time, our partner should be
doing whatever is possible to improve how
we are feeling.
The below example shows the shift
from “Motzeh” the “do you find” concept
explained earlier about taking, or “Matzah”
the “have your found” idea related to
giving.

Jacob seemed to be a bit of a serial dater. He always had a girlfriend and yet his
relationships didn’t seem to last very long. Everyone joked that he would never get
married because he was terrified of commitment and got bored too easily. But then
he met Laya.
Laya was different. She really understood him and they connected on seemingly
every level and had so much in common. He really fell for her and to everyone’s
surprised they got engaged and soon after married.
Marriage was great for Jacob. He no longer felt this need to keep looking for
something and someone else. He was attracted to his wife, loved spending time and

ׁ‫תַׁש ָּפתָּ ַב ש‬
ָ ‫ָךְתֹולֲע ְּב ר‬
‫ַה‬  ∕  WONDERS 15
 J
enjoyed speaking with her, and was encouraged and supported by her to take risks
and try new things.
What Jacob didn’t realize was that his sole way of gauging if things were going
well was if he was happy. He was so used to looking at relationships for what they
could do for him that he didn’t know how to focus on his wife’s needs and what he
could do for her.
After some time passed, Laya was no longer the outgoing, positive, curious,
interesting woman he had dated. She started acting moodier, was quick to snap,
and wasn’t always pleasant to be around. Jacob’s first response was that he should
end the marriage. After all, it wasn’t working and he wasn’t happy. And if he wasn’t
happy, why should he stay in the relationship?
Fortunately, he was open to marriage counseling and it was there that he and
Laya were able to be honest about what was bothering them. Jacob listed all the ways
things had changed and what he didn’t like. Laya then was able to express to Jacob
that he was so busy thinking about himself that he never took the time to ensure that
she was happy. When her interests happened to coincide with his all was good. But as
soon as she wanted something different, there was no room for that.
Jacob had not been aware that he had been doing this but with all the examples
given it was pretty clear that he had been self-consumed. The next few months he
really made the effort to find out what she wanted to do, talk about, focus on. The
more time he spent concerned with what concerned her, the more connected he
felt, and the more he naturally wanted to give to her.
Likewise, the more Laya felt that he cared about her interests and feelings, the
more she wanted to spend time with him, share with him, and express her love. It
was clear that Jacob had made the greatest turning point when during a counseling
session his proof for why things were going well was not that he was happy, but that
he knew that Laya was happy, which in turn was the reason he felt things were so
positive.

1. Proverbs 27:19.

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