Ten Short Stories EDUCATIONAL EDITION WITH INTRODUCTION, EXTENSIVE EXERCISES AND GLOSSARIES Roald DahlTa - ~ a : rencuw a00Ks : CONTENTS Publhad by the Penguin Group Penguin Books Lid, 27 Wrights Lane, London W8 STZ, England , Penguin Baste USA Inc. 375 Hudson Sect, New York, New York 1016, USA Penguin Boole Ausali id Ringed Vicor, Ausra engn Sha Cane, Arn Avene, Tern, Ota Canada MAY 382 Teun ch a nn Hv, Ai New Zari) Penguin Boks Ud, Registered Othe: Harmondsworth, Mise, Eaglnd es Reg bog Roald Dahl: Life and Times 1 Yablined by Penn Hooks 1956 98 TES The Umbrella Man 5 “The Umbrella Man’, ‘Mr Botibor and “The Butler’ were first published in Dip in the Pool n BeBe no by Michal Joep ia More Tals of The Butler 2 intr copy © Koad Doh 1971950 The Hitchhiker 3 “Teter shat tors in hs book ave ae fom The Clit! Short | Mr Botibol 36 nr fn tig Peco cymm O Fty Ea on en | My Lady Love, My Dove 54 igi owe ‘The Way up to Heaven o “The moral right of the suthor has ban ater | Parson's Pleasure 9 . | ‘The Sound Machine 100 Sin 10/1 Spt Mono latino The Wish * Notes ns cep inthe United Sie of Ameri, thi bok Sold st to thesndi that sal es by ay of ade or eer, Be ‘Real red uv or heise else thou te pabihe’s Foor consent an any form of besing or ever er than that -wblch i'r pls ond wiht 9 sine conaiton iets ts ondtom beng mapossd on he susoquent pursusersang no ROALD DAHL: LIFE AND TIMES Roald Dah! was born in 1916 in Llandaff, a small town just ‘outside Cardiff, the capital city of Wales. Roald’s parents were Norwegian, the family having originally moved from Norway to Wales in the 1880s. His name is a Norwegian name and his first name Roald is pronounced ‘Roo-ahl’ with a silent final ‘a’ Roald’s father, Harald, worked in the shipping industry and the family were prosperous, living a in a large house in the Glamorgan countryside. Roald’s mother, Sophie, w=s FHarald’s second wife and Roald was her only son. Roald was only four years old at the time of his father's deatiy and when Roald’ father died, Roald felt as if he became an only child, ‘even though he had sisters and step-brothers and sisters. Many of his stories have children as the heroes or heroines or a main point of view for the story and they are nearly always alone, without brothers and sisters to whom they can talk and in whom they can confide. Roald Dahil led a rather lonely life as a child. He writes in some detail about growing up and about his childhood in South Wales in his autobiography Boy which was published in 1984, His schooldays unbil his eighteenth year were spent at a boy's public school, Repton, in Derbyshire. According ic ‘many accounts Dahi's schooldays were not always happy and hhe was subjected to much teasing and bullying by other boys on account of his strange name, and his height. Roald Dab ‘was six foot six inches tall. Many of his stories, especially stories for children, explore the theme of bullies and bullying, ‘After leaving school Dahl travelled extensively and in 1934 joined the snulti-nationa) oil company Shell. He worked hott in London and in East Africa, On the outbreak of war he joined the Royal Air Force and was based in Nairobi, Kenya, eventually joining a fighter squadron in Libya in Noth Africa It was while flying with this squadron, during which time heI 1 2 ” ‘Ten Short Stori fought as a pilot in Syria and Greece, that he was severely ‘wounded. In 1942 he went to Washington where he worked in the Embassy, He was subsequently transferred to Intelligence ‘work. It was in Washington that he began to write his first short stories. Roald DahI's short stories have been bestocllers all over the ‘world and have been translated into many languages. The books in which they are collected are Someone Like You, Kiss Kiss, Switch Bitch, Twenty-nine Kisses from Roald Dahl, Over To You, and Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life. Several stories have also been collected under more general headings such as Tales of the Unexpected and More Tales of the Unexpected. Several stories of the ‘unexpected’ were dramatized for television and have ‘made his writings even more popular throughout the world. ‘The use of the word “unexpected” in relation to many of Roald Daht's short stories is quite common. The endings to his stories are often unexpected and take the reader by surprise. Sometimes the endings are comic, sometimes they are tragic, sometimes a likeable character wins, sometimes an evil and disliked character wins; in most cases, however, the ending is almost impossible to predict and there is a ‘twistin-the-tale’ Many of the stories are humorous as characters, find them= selves in unusval or extreme situations but the humour is nearly always a ‘black’ humour because comic and tragic elements mix together Black humour is an important element in Roald Dahl's writ- ings. Dahl seems to enjoy treating some of his characters in a ceruel way. The characters find themselves in circumstances ‘which they did not expect or which have tragic consequences bbut their situation i often described in an arousing way and readers find that they are laughing at the personal tragedies ‘of the character and that they may even enjoy reading about their misfortunes, Black humour is directed at characters who ‘are shown to be unsympathetic but is also sometimes reserved for characters we have grown to like. The starting point for many of the stories is often everyday, common incidents of ‘ordinary life and the characters are often neople :sith ‘hon: readers can identify. Not one of Roald Dait'» stories cod be called sentimental Roald Dahl frst met his first wife Patricia in London in 1951. Patricia Neal was an American and was by then already Roald Dahl: Life and Times 3 ‘established as a successful stage and film actress and Dahl was. rot yet recognized as a successful writer, though at that time he was working almost full-time as a writer. They married in New York in July, 1953. In the autumn of 1953 the collection of stories Someone Like You was published by the American publisher Alfred Knopf, who was to be Dahl's main publisher End supporter throughout his life, and a year later the book ‘was published in Britain by Secker and Warburg. Roald and Patricia Dahl had four children. They divorced in 1983 and Dahi remarried Felicity Crosiand, Roald Dahl's other main publications include a highly praised novel My Uncle Oswald and a sequence of books for Enildren which have made him one of the most famous writers, ff children’s books in the world. His books for children include James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The ‘Magic Finger, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Fantnstic Mr Fox, The Twits, The Witches, The BFG (the initials stand for ‘big, friendly giant) and Matilda. The Witches was the 1983 winner ‘of the Whitbread Award. Many people believe that these chil- dren's stories will be the classies of the future. In Britain alone, between 1980 and 1996, aver eleven million of his books were sold in paperback form. The figure is considerably more than the total number of children born in Britain in these years. These books for children helped considerably to make Roald Dahl a multi-millionaire, Several of Dahl's books have been made into films. Danny (from Danny, Champion of the World) and The Witches were made into films in the 1980s, Roald Dahl himself was interestect in the writing of film scripts and was involved in the writing of the internationally successfui film Chitty Ciutty Bang Bang He also worked to adapt Chiarhe and the Chocolate Factory for the seveen and in 1971 it was released as the film Willy Wonkn tnd the Chocolate Factory Roald Dahi died in November 1990. He is buried in Great Missenden in Berkshire which had been his main family home for most uf his adult life. He is one of the most widely read ivontiat writers of the past fifty years‘Time-Line: The Life and Times of Roald Dahl 1914-18 1922 1933 1939-45 1954 1963, 1964-70 1969 17 1979 1989 Ten Short Stories 5 First World War. James Joye, Ulysses and T.S. Elio The Waste Land. | ‘Adolf hile comes to power in Germany Second World War. Wiliam Golding, Lord of the Fis. ‘The assassination of President Kennedy shocks the Western World London becomes the worldwide capital of youth Caltare~ espeially music, clothes ané design U8 astronauts land on the moon Britain joins the EEC (European Economic Com- munity). Margaret Thatcher begins an eleven-year term as British Prime Minster Gold War between America/the West and the Soviet Unicn/Eastem Europe comes to an ond Capitalism begins to extend eastwards THE UMBRELLA MAN. IM GOING TO TELL YOU about 2 funny thing that happened to ry mother and me yesterday evening, | am twelve years old and {'m a igel My mother is thiety four but Lar nearly as tall as her already. ‘Yesterday afternoon, my mother took me up to London to see the dentist. He found one hole. It was in a back tooth and he filled it without iucting me too much, After that, we went to a café I had a tanana split and my mother had a cup of coffe. By the time we got up to leave it was about six o'clock ‘When we came out ofthe café it had started to rain, We must get» taxi my mother said. We were wearing ordinary hats and coats, and it wat ening quite hard “Why dont we go back into the café and vest for i to stop I said | wanted another of those banana splits. They were gorgeous. ‘ant going to stop,’ my mother sid. We must get home’ We stood on the pavement in the rain. looking for 2 taxi. Lots of them came by but they all had passengers inside ther. wish we had acarwith a chauffeur’ my mother said Just then a man came up to us. He was a small man and he was pretty old, probably seventy or moce. He raised his hat politely and Said to my mother, Excuse me, I do hope you will excuse me ../ He bad a fine white moustache and bushy white eyebrows and a wrinkly pink face. He as sheltering under an umbrella ovhich he held high ‘over hi head "Yee! my mother said, very cool and distant. 1 wonder if | could ask a small favour of you. he said. Te i only 3 very small favour: T'saw my mother iooking at him suspiciously. She is a suspicious person. my mother. She is especially suspicious of two things = strange men ané boiled eggs. Wheo she cuts the top off a boiled egy. she pokes around inside it sath her spoon as though expecting to fal 2 mouse or something. With strange mes, she has a golden rule which says, The nicer the man seems to be, the more suspicious you must tecome’ This tle old man was particularly nice. He was polite. He 66 7 6 ‘Ten Short Stories was walipoken He was welldressed. He was areal gentleman. The {plc ee wavs a bees fi oon on aye spt a gellnan by the shors he wears” was trthe of my ‘mother's favourite sayings. This man had beaiitiful brown shoes. “The rath of the mater ix” the litle man wes saying Tve got nye into ait ofa sxe. need eme bp Not much Ture yo IRs amos nothing in fac. but | do ned i. You see. adam old People like me often become terribly forgetful...” My mothe’ chin wasup and se ws staig down at him along the fl gt of her nove. twas eanome thing, ts sty nate stare of ay mothers Most people goto pice campeely when she vei to them I once saw my on heaisess begin fo sare tad snpe lean dat when my mater gave ea elf sty. ‘oe But the kite man on the paverent withthe unbrela over is head didn't bat an eyelid He gave agente se and nd, Teg You to bebeve madam that Iam notin the hai of stoping lade i he Stet ad ling them my robles" Tate ay mera it quite embarrassed by my mother's sharpness. I wanted to say tober. Oh many, for heavers sake, he's avery very ld am, end he's eet and polit and hes in some sort of trouble so dot be 20 ely to hin’ But | st sy anything The ite man shied his nbrel fl one hand tothe other. Tve never forgotten before he ud “Youve never orgten what” my mother asked tery ‘My walt he sd Tet ave let tn my be ace. tat the slt thing to dor "Ae yourahing met give you money? my mothe sid 4g Qh fro eco eo he ed Hee obi shad eve “Then what are you asking my mother sid ‘Do hury up We'e getting soaked to the skin here, ‘are {low you ab And hal why tm leg youths umbrella fine o protect you and tokep forever en ‘only what? my mother said. ‘er * “only you would give me in return a pound for my taxes tone me home” My mother was stl supkious. you had no mene in the fet Plsce’ sess, then how det you gl bee “wate” he answered. Every dey Igo fra lovey long walk and ‘hen summon a ao take me home. Goi every day ofthe yar” ‘The Umbrella Man 7 ‘Why don’t you walk home nowT my mother asked. “On woh I cod he sid1 do wish could. Bat 1 dont ik F ould mange ion thse ily old lege of mine, Tve gone too far a- ready.” ‘iy mote stood there cheng her lower lip. She was begining tones BT eould see that nthe idea of geting an ure to Spaterunder mast have tempted hea good dea "ro lovey unre’ the ile man id Solve ied ny mother said, Teste esa tan seta “Then why dont you tke it; madam’ he suid, cost me over twenty pues | promise you Bt that's of no importance slong es Cinpet home ad es thst od leg of mine Samy mother's and fekng forthe asp of ber pure. She sw | pe watcng her Iwas giving heron of my co Rosy ned looks | hele and she Amen exaciy wht 1 was teling he, Now liste, | fhanmy tes teing her you spy ms ake vantage of fred | ERTS ost rotor fing to do. My malin pated nd (tated beck st me Then she sad tothe ile man 1 dont thick fs | igte right that I should take an umbrella fom you worth twenty fence tink 1a beter js pr you the tan ae and be done ith i | esos ie to he atin a am ef | Set nel ene foe that Take the nbc des dy. ane keep the ran off your shoul dese Ty miter gave me a hiumphant sideways look Tere you ae she wasteling me. Youre wrong He wos eto have She fhe no ur pe and tock ou a pound noe She held st |. totelieman He tok and handed he the unbreli,He pocketed the pound re his hat gave aquih bow om the at tnd $0 | Metie ner her and keep dry. daring” mother sid “Art *—welinky Tvenever ads sik tne before fou’ afer i ‘vhy were youso ord to hmin he begining? asked Tinted 1 oify mysel he wasnt a tester” she sid “And aarti was» gener Fn very flee |e abe to hep him “Yes mary ‘Ava gare she went on, ‘Westy, to. otherwise be soldat hte had nik umbrella shoul’ be suprised if he "ied paso Si Hay Goldsworthy osometang e hat _ -15 8 Ten Short Stories ‘es, mummy “This will bea good lesson to you. she went on. ‘Never rush things. Always take your Hime when you are summing someone up. Then youll never make mistakes’ “There he goes’ Isaid. Look ‘Where? ‘Over there. He's crossing the street. Goodness, mummy, what 2 brary he's in We watched the litle man as he dodged nimbly in and out of the trafic. When he reached the other side of the street, he tured let, walking very fat “He does't look very tied to me, does he to you, mummy? My mother didn’t answer. "He doee't look as though he's trying to get» tax, ether’ Laid ‘My mother was standing very still and stf, staring across the street atthe litle man, We could see him clearly. He was in a terifc hurry, He was bustling along the pavement, sidestepping the other ped- ‘strians ard swinging his arms like a soldier on the march ‘He's up to something” my mother sai, stony faced “But what 11 don't know.’ my mother snapped. ‘But Fm going to find out Come with me” She tock my arm and we crossed the steet together Then we turned let “Can you see him? my mother asked. “Yes. There he is. He's turing right down the next street” ‘We came to the comer and turned right. Th litle man was about twenty yards ahead of us. He was scuttling along like a rabbit and we had to walk very fast to keep up with him. The rain was pelting down harder than ever now and I could see it dripping from the brim of his, ‘on to his shoulders, Bul we were sug, big sik umbrella, “What ishe up to’ my mother said. “What i he tums round and sees us’ 1 asked, ‘Idon't care if he does, my mother said. He lied to us, He said he W2s too tired to walk any further and he's practically running us off ‘our fet! He's a barefaced lia! Hes» cook? "You rmean he's nota titled gentleman’ | asked Be quiet’ she sid At the next crossing, the litle man turned right again “Then he tuered let ‘Then right dry under cur lovely The Umbrella Man 9 ‘tm not giving up now’ my mother said. ‘He's disappeared” {cred. Where's he gone?” ‘He went in that door! my mother said. saw hit! Into that house! Great heavens i's a publ TH was a pub. In big letters right across the front it said tHe xx "You're not going inate you, mummy? “No, she std. ‘Well watch from outside” “There was a big plate-glas window along the front of the pub, and. although it was 4 bit steamy on the inside, we could see through it very well f we went dose. ‘We stood huddled together outside the pub window. I was clutching my mother’s arm, The big raindrops were making a loud noise on cur tunbrella. There he is’ I sid. ‘Over there. ‘The room we were looking into was full of people and cigarette smoke, and our little man was in the middle of it all He was now without his hat and coat, and he was edging his way through the Ccowd towards the bar, When he reached it, he placed both hands on the bar itself and spoke to the barman. | saw his lips moving as he gave his order, The berman tumed away from him for a few seconds nd came back with 2 smallish tumbler filled to the brim with light brown liquid. The litle man placed a pound ote en the counter. “That's my pound! my mother hissed. ‘By golly, he's got « nerve! “What's inthe glass? asked, ‘Whisky’ my mother sid. Neat whisky” ‘The barman didnt give him any change from the pound. ‘That must be a treble whisky, my mummy said, ‘What's a treble” I asked, “Thee times the normal measure’ she answered, ‘The liltle man picked up the glace and pt it to is lips. He tilted it gently. Then he tied it higher... and higher ..and higher and very fon ll the whisky had disappeared down his throat in one long pour “That's a jolly expensive drink’ I ssid Ws siiculous?’ my mammny ssid. Fancy paying ® pound for some thing to sallow in one gor” "I cost him more than a pounds’ I sid, It cost him a twenty-pound sik unbrela, 8 it did’ my mother said. THe must be mad” The little man was standing by the bar with the empty glass in his hand, He was smiling nov, and « sort of golden glow of pleasure was spreading over his round pink face. I saw his tongue core out to lick210 20 20 10 Ten Short Stories the white moustache, as though searching for one last drop ofthat precious whisky. Sowly, he fumed away from the bar apd edged his way back though the crowd to where his hat and coat were hanging. He put on his hat, He put on his coat. Then in @ manner so superbly cool and casual that you hardly noticed anything at all he lifted from the coat- rack one ofthe many wet umbrellas hanging there and of he went ‘Did you see that my mother shicked. Did you sce what he did “Sishh I whispered. He's coming out? We lowered our umbrella to hide our faces. and peered out from under it Out he came, But he never looked in our direction. He opened his new umbrella over his head and scurie off down the road the way he had come. ‘So that's his tle game my mother sid ‘Neat I sid. Super Wie followed him back to the main stret where we had fist met him, and we watched him as he proceeded, with no trouble at al, to exchange his new unbrela for another pound note, Ths time was with fall thin fellow who did't even have a coat or hat. And as soon 2 the transaction was completed, ou bile man toted off down the street and was lost in the crowd. But this time he went inthe opposite direction “You see how clever hei my mother suid. He never goes tothe same pub twice “He could go on doing this all night’ sid. “Yes! my mother said. ‘Of couse. But I bet he prays like mad for rainy days? DIP IN THE POOL ON THE MORNING of the third day, the sea calmed. Even the most delicate passengers ~ those who had not been seen around the {hip since saling time ~ emerged from ther cabins and crept on to the fan deck where the deck steward gave them chairs and tucked rugs ‘ound their legs and left them lying in rows, their faces uptumed to the pale, almost heatles January sun. If had been moderately rough the first two days, and this sudden calm and the sense of comfort that it brought created a more genial atmosphere over the whole ship. By the time evening came, the passengers, with twelve hours of good weather behind them, were beginning to feel confident, and at eight o'dock that night the main daung-room was filled with people eating and drinking with the assured, complacent ir of seasoned sailors. "The meal was not half over when the passengers became aware, by the slight friction between their bodies and the seats oftheir chairs. that the big ship had actually started rolling again. It was very gentle at fist, justa slow, lazy leaning to one side, then to the other, but it was enough to cause a subtle, immediate change of mood over the whole room. A few of the passengers glanced up from thei food, hesitating, wating. _aimost listening fo the next roll smiling nervously, litle secret glimmers ‘of apprehension in their eyes. Some were completely unrufled. some ‘were openly smug, a number ofthe smug anes making jokes about food and weather in order to torture the few who were beginning to sue. ‘The movement of the ship then became rapidly more and more violent, ad only five or sx minutes after the fst rol had been noticed she was swinging heavily from side to side, the passengers bracing themselves in their chars, leaning against the pull asin a car comering, ‘At Tas the really bad roll came, and Mr Wiliam Botibol siting at ‘hs pwren’s table, saw his plate of poached turbot with hollandaise sce sliding suddenly away from under his fork. There was ¢ Butter ‘of excitement, everybody reaching for plates and wineglasses. Mrs Renshaw, seated atthe purser’s right, gave alittle scream and cutched that gentleman's arm.“Going to bea dirty night’ the purser said, looking at Mrs Renshaw. 35 think i's blowing up fora very dity night! ‘There was just the faintest suggestion of, relish in the way the parser said this, ‘A steward came hurrying up and sprinkled water on the table || cloth between the plates. The excitement subsided. Most of the pas- 40 sengers continued with their meal. A small number, including Mes Renshaw, got carefully to thet feet and threaded their ways with a kind of concealed haste between the tables and through the doot- way. ‘Well’ the purser suid, ‘there she goes’ He glanced around with 45 approval atthe remainder of his flock who were siting quiet, looking ‘complacent, ther faces reflecting openly that extraordinary pride that travellers seem to take in being recognized as ‘good sailors ‘When the eating was finished and the coffe had been served, Me Botibol, who had been urusualy grave and thoughtfl since the rolling 50 started suddenly stood up and carried his cup of coffee around to Mrs Renshaw’s vacant place, next to the purser. He seated himself in the chair then immediately leaned over and began to whisper urgently in the purser’ ea, Excuse me,’ he said ‘but could you tll me something, please? 55 The purser, small and fat and red, bent forward to listen, ‘What's the trouble, Mr Botbol” “What I want to know is this’ The man’s face was anxious and the purser was watching it. What I want to know is will the captain already have made his estimate on the day's run ~ you know, for the 6 auction pool! I mean before it began to get rough like this?” ‘The purser, who had prepared himself to receive a personal conf ence. smiled and leaned back in his seat to relax his full belly. should say so — yes” he answered. He didn't bother to whisper his reply, although automatically he lowered his voice, as one does when 6 answering a whisperer “About how long ago do you think he did it” ‘Some time this afteroon, He usually does tin the aftemoon, “About what time?” “Oh, don't know. Around four clock I should gues, ‘Now tell me another thing. How does the captain Aer. w ‘number it shali bet Does Ke take alot of trouble over that” The purser looked at the anxious frowning face of Mr Botitol and he smiled. knowing quite well what the man was driving at. Well, you see the captain has a litle conference with the navigating officer and Dip in the Pool 2B they study the weather and a lot of other things, and then they make thei estimate” ‘Mi Botibl nodded, pondering this answer for a moment. Then he said, Do you think the captain knew there was bad weather coming rosa tel you! the puser replied. He was long into the ral blac eyes ofthe other man seeing the two singe lite specks of SMotement dancing in ther centres. I really could tell you. Mr Botbo | wouldn® know! if this gts any worse it might be worth buying some ofthe low manbers What do you think The whispering was more urgent, more wpehaps it wil’ the purser sad. 1 doxbt whether the old an lowed for 2 really rough night I was pretty calm this afteoon when be made his eta "The others atthe table had become silent and were trying to hea. etching the purser with that intent, hll-ccked.litening lok that Jou ean se also atthe race track when they aze trying Yo overhear & ‘einer taking about hs chance the slightly open ips the upstrethed tpetroms, the head forward and cocked hile to one sie ~ that Eeperstely staining hall hypnotized. listening lock that comes to al Gl them when they are bearing something straight from the hoses rout "Now suppose you were allowed to buy a number, which one would yeu choose today? Mr Bib whispered “don't know what the range is yet the purser patiently answered “They dont announce the range til the auction starts after dinner. And Trmreally not very good at anyway Tm only the purser, you know "at that point Me Botibolstoed up. Exeuse me, all he sid and he walked cally away over the swaying Boor between the other Tables, and twice be had to catch hold of the back of «chart steady Famself pains the ship’ ll "The sun deck please; be sd tothe elevator man, ‘The wind caught ie ful inthe face ashe stepped out on to the apen deve He saggered and grabbed hold of the ral and held on tight with both hands and he stood there looking out over the ioamg eos where the great waves were welling up high and white noses were dig agaist the wind with plumes of spray Betid thets asthey went ‘Pretty bad out thee, wasnt ls! the elevator man said on he vay down os 10s 10100 20 1s. 0 135 0 us 10 Ten Short Stories ‘Mr Botibot was combing his hair back into place with 2 small red ‘comb. ‘Do you think we've slackened speed at all on account of the ‘weather? he asked, “Oh, my word yes, sir. We slackened off considerable since this started. You got to slacken off speed in weather like this or youll be throwing the passengers all over the ship” ] Down in the smoking-room people were already gathering for the auction. They were grouping themselves politely around the various tables, the men a litle stiff in their dinner jackets, a little pink and overshaved and stiff beside thei cool white-armed women. Mr Botibol took a chair close to the auctioneers table, He crossed his legs, folded his arms, and settled himself in his seat with the rather desperate air cof a man who has made 2 tremendous decision and refuses to be frightened ‘The pool. he was telling himself, would probably be around seven thousand dollars. That was almost exactly what it had been the last two days withthe numbers selling for between three and four hundred apiece. Being a British ship they did it in pounds. but he liked to do his thinking in his own currency. Seven thousand dollars was plenty fof money. My goodness, yes! And what he would do, he would get them to pay hinm in hundred-dollar bills and he would take it ashore inthe inside pocket of his jacket. No problem there. And right away. Yes right away, he would buy a Lincela convertible, He would pick it 'up on the way from the ship and drive it home just for the pleasure ‘of seeing Ethel’ face when she came out the front door and looked at it, Wouldn't that be something, to see Ethel face when he glided up to the door in a brand-new pale-green Lincoln convertible! Hello, Ethel, honey, he would say, speaking very casual. | just thought I'd get you a litle present. I saw it in the window as I went by, so 1 thought of you and how veu were always wanting one. You like it honey? he would say. You like the colour? And then he would watch her face ‘The auctioneer was standing up behind his table now. ‘Ladies and sentiemen” he shouted. “The captain has estimated the day's run ending midday tomorrow. at five hundred and fifteen miles. AS usval wwe will take the ten numbers on either side of it to make up the range. ‘That makes it five hundred and five to five hundred and twenty-five ‘And of course for those who think the true figure willbe still farther away, there be “low field” and "high Geld” sold separately ae wel, ‘Now. well draw the first numbers out of the hat here we are five hundted and twelve?” 1 1 , 1 I 1 Dip in the Pool * 15 “The room became quiet. The people sat stil in their chairs all eyes watching the auctioneer. There was a certain tension in the ar, and as the bids got higher, the tension grew. This wasn't a game or a joke; ‘you could be sure of that by the way one man would look across at {nother who had raised his bid ~ smiling perhaps, but only the lips smiling, the eyes bright and absolutely cold. Number five hundred and twelve was knocked down for one hundred and ten pounds. The next three or four numbers fetched roughly the same amount ‘The ship was rolling heavily, and each time she went over, the wooden paneling on the walls creaked asf i were going to split. The passengers held on to the arms of their chars, concentrating, upon the auction “Low fil the auctioneer called out. “The next number i ow feld (Mr Botibol sat up very straight and tense. He would wait, he had decided, until the others had fished bidding, then he would jump in and make the lst bid. He had figured that there must be atleast five Ihundeed dollars in his account af the bank at home, probably nearer six. That was about two hundred pounds — over two hundred. This ticket wouldnt fetch more than that ‘As you all know, the auctioneer was saying. ‘ow field covers, every umber below the smallest number in the range, in this case «very number below five hundred and five. So. if you think this ship is joing to cover less than five hundred and five miles in the twrenty- {oar hours ending at noon tomorrow. you better get in and buy this ‘number. So what am Ibid? Tt went clear up to one hundred and thirty pounds. Others beside Mr Botibol seemed to have noticed that the weather was rough. One hundred and forty... fifty... There it stopped. The auctioneer raised his hammer “Going al one hundred and fifty ‘Sixty? Mr Botbol ealled, and every face inthe soom tumed and looked at him Seventy! ‘ighty? Mr Botbol called ‘Ninety! “rao hundred Me Botibol called He wean’ stopping ncw — not for anyone. . “There was a pause ‘Any advance on two hundred pounds? St still he told himself. Sit absolutly sil and don't look up. I's m 18 1616 Ten Short Stories unlucky to look up. Hold your breath. No one’s going to bid you up. sollong as youbold your breath : “Going for two hundred pounds ../ The auctioneer had a pink bald head and there were lithe beads of swest sparing ontop of. Going "Mr Boibol held his breath. ‘Going... Gone’ The man banged the hammeron the table. Mr Botibol wrote out a cheque and handed it to the auctioneers assistant, then he setled back in his chair to wait for the fish, He did not want to go to bed before he knew how much ‘here was in the poo “They added it up aftr the last number had been sold and it came to tnventy-one hundred-odd pounds. That was around ix thousand dollars Ninety pe cent to go to the winner, ten percent to seamen’ charities Ninety percent of sx thousand was five thousand four hundred. Well ~ thet was enough. He could buy the Lincoln convertible and there would be something let over, too. With this gratifying thought he ‘went off, happy and exited, to his cabin. When Mr Botibol awoke the next moming he lay quite stl for several minutes with his eyes shut, listening forthe sound ofthe gale. waiting for the col ofthe ship. There was no sound of any gele and the ship was not rolling He jumped up and peered out ofthe porthole The sea ~ Oh Jesus God ~ was smooth ar glass, the grest ship was ‘moving trough it fst, obviously making up for time lost during the ‘ight. Mr Botibol tured away and sit slowly down on the edge of his bank. A fine electricity of fear was beginning to price under the shin of bis stomach He had a hope now. One ofthe higher numbers ‘ascertain to win alter thi. “Oh, my God he said aloud. What shal do?” What for example, would Ethel say? It was simply not possible to tel her he had spent almost all of thee tro years” savings on a ticket in the ship's pook. Mor was it posible to keep the matter secret. To-do that he would have to tell her to stop drawing cheques. And what about the monthly instalments on the television set and the En- ‘ylopaadia Britannica? Already he could sce the anger and contempt in the woman's eye, the blue becoming grey and the eyes themseives rarowing as they always did when there was anger in them. ‘Oh, my God. What shal do? “There was no point in pretending that he hai she slightest chance now ~ not unless the goddim ship started to go Backwards. they'd have to put er in reverse and go ful speed astem and keep right on Boing if he was to have any chance of winning it now. Well aybe he Should ask the captain to do just that. Ofer him ten percent of the Dip in the Poot v7 profits, Offer him more i he wanted it Mr Botbol started to giggle. ‘hen very suddenly he stopped. his eyes and mouth both opening wide ina kind of shocked suprise. For it was at this moment that the ‘des ame It hit him hard and quick and he jumped up fom the bed leriby excited ran over to the porthole and locked out again. Well te thought, why not? Why ever nol? The sea was calm and he wouldnt have any trouble keping afloat until they picked him up. He tad a vague feeling tat someone had done this thing before but that did't prevent him from doing it again. The ship woul have to stop snd lower a boat, and the boat would have to go beck maybe hal @ mile to. get him, and then it would have to reirn to the ship, the whole thing. An hour was about thitty miles. It would knock thirty ries of the day's run. That would doit. ‘Low field would be sure 19 win it then Just so long as he made certain someone saw him fling cover but that would be simple to arange. And he'd better weer ight clothes, something easy to swim in. Sports dothes, that was it. He would des as though he were goine upto play some deck tems just a shit and a pair of shorts and tenni-shoes. And leave his watch Lcind. What was the time? Nineteen, The sooner the bette, then De if now and get it over with, Have to do it soon. Because the time lawt was midday Ms Botbol was both tightened ard excited when he stepped out en to the sun deck in his sports clothes. His small body was wide at the hips, tapering upward to extremely narcow sloping shoulders, 20 that it resembled in shape at any rate, bold. His white sin legs were covered with black hai. and he came cautiously out on deck treading softly in his terms shoes. Nervousy be looked around him Thece was only one other person in sight an elderly women with very thick anlles and immense buttocks who wat leaning over the rail staring atthe sea. She was wearing © coat of Persian lamb and the collar was tured up 30 Mr Botibol couldn't se her face He stood sil, examining her ctetuly from 2 distance, Yes, he told himsel she would probably do. She would probably give the alarm inst 35 quickly a8 anyone else. But wait one'minute, take your time, Wiliam Botibo, take your time. Remember whet you told yourself + few mints goin the cabin when you were charging? You remember tion {ne dhought of Teaping of ship into the ocean a thousand ies from the nearest land had made Mr Botibol ~ a cauious man a the best of times = unusually advertent. He was by no means sated yet that this woman he sa before im was absolutely eran to give the y 2a Fa8 ‘Ten Short Stories ‘alarm when he made his jump. In his opinion there wert wo possible reasons why she might fail hin. Fitly, she might be deaf and blind. It was not very probable, but on the other hand it migh! be so, and why take a chance? All he had to do was check it By talking to her for ‘moment beforchand. Secondly — and this wil demonstrate how suspic ‘us the mind of a man can become when it is working through self preservation and fear ~ secondly, it had occured to him that the ‘woman might herself be the owner of one ofthe high numbers in the pool and as such would have a sound financial reason for not wishing, to stop the ship. Mr Botibol recalled that people had killed their fellows for far les than six thousand dollars. It was happening every cay in the newspapers. So why take a chance on that ether? Check on it first, Be sure of your facts. Find out about it by a litle polite ‘conversation. Then, provided that the woman appeared also to be a pleasant, kindly human being, the thing was a cinch and he could leap ‘overboard with light heart Mr Botibol advanced casually towards the woman and took up a position beside her, leaning on the rail. Hallo he sad pleasant. She fumed and smiled at him. a suprisingly lovely, almost a beaut ful smile, although the face itself was very pain. Hullo’ she answered him. ‘Check, Mr Botibol told himself, on the fst question. She i neither blind nor deaf. Teli me’ he said. coming straight to the point. ‘what did you think of the auction last night?” “Auction she said, frowning, ‘Auction? What auction” “You know, that sly old thing they have inthe lounge afer dinner, selling numbers on the ship's daily run, I just wondered what you thought about it? ‘She shook her head, and again she smiled, a sweet and pleasant srmle that had in it perhaps the trace of an apology. Tm very lazy she said. always go to bed early. I have my dinner in bed. It's $0 restful to have dinner in bed! Me Botibol smiled back at her and began to edge away. ‘Got to go and get my exercise now, he said, ‘Never miss my exercise in the ‘moming. It was nice seeing you. Very nice seeing you.’ He retreated about ten paces and the woman let him go without looking around, Everything. was now in order. The sea was calm, he ws" ness fr swung, here were Imost certainly no man-eang sharks in this par of the Atlantic, and there was this plesant kindly old woman to give the alarm. It was « question now only of whether the ship would be delayed long enough to swing the balance in his favour Dip in the Poo! 19 ‘Alsost certainly it would. In any event, he could do a litle to help in that direction himselt He could make a few difficulties about getting, hauled up into the lifeboat. Swim around a bit, back away from them surreptitiously as they tried to come up close to fish him out. Every minute, every second gained would help him win. He began to move forward again tothe rai, but now a new fear assailed im, Would he {ge caught in the propeller? He had heard about that happening to persons falling off the sides of big hips. But then. he wasn't going to fall he was going to jump, and that was a very different thing Provided he jumped out far enough he would be sure to clear the pro- Mi Bobo advanced slowly to postion atthe mil about twenty aes aay fm the woman Ste wat looking at hin now So much the beter He dt want her walchng im ase jumped of So ng 2 no one was watching he woud be ale to sy afterwards at he hd sie ad falen by ace He peered oer the ste ef te sip Wart log. long drop. Come to tak of # now, he might eany hat himsl badly he ht the water Bt. Was these someone wh nce spit hs stomach open that way doing «bly fop form he = “Yes. guvnor, itis But the trouble i, “e's lost the book. E's lost ‘oth books, the one with my name on it andthe one with yours’ 1p in triumph the two books he had taken from the policaman’s sid sid, Then we'd better build a litte bonfire and bum these books: ‘The Hitchhiker 35 in the long delicate fngers of his right hand, the man was holding ‘Easiest job I ever done, he anounced proudly. early swerved the car into a milk track, I was s0 excited “That copper’ got nothin’ on either of us now’ he said. “You're a genius! I cried. “Bes got no names, no addresses, no car number, no nothin,” he “You're biliantt “think you'd better pull off this main road as soon as possible’ he “You're a fantastic fellow! I exclaimed “Thank you, guv'nor” he said. T's always nice to be appreciatedw 5 2» MR BOTIBOL Masoripot Pusien iis WAY thzoughthe revolving dorsand treed int the lage foyer of the hoe. He took of hs at and holding in font of Kim with both hands, he advanced revosly 4 few paces pase and sod looking wound Kins seeing the fer of the hnchtime crowd Several people tured and stared a hin i tid astonishnert, and he heard ~ othe thought he beard ~ at la fe woman's voice saying My dear, do ook mba ut coment "A asthe potted Me Clement siting at small abe inthe br comer and he huried over fo hi, Clemens hed sen him coming Sed now, a he watched Mr Bota treading hie way cats) tetween the ble and the people walling on hs toes in such eek and seeing manner an cching i at before hin wis both ands he thought How wretched It must befor any ean to look 23 copicuous and as ed sth Bool. He resembled. to an ext ‘ordinary degree, an spargus His long narow stalk dd not appew to have any shoulders at allt merely tapered upwards growing ‘rdualyratrower and arower nt cane fo aed of point athe top ofthe sal bald head. He was bightly encased in shiny She doublebressted mi and thi fr some exious reason, acer the inion ofa vegetable toa preposterous degree ‘Cements stood up, they shook hands and then at once, evn before hey had sat down nin Boil sad T have decided er fave decided to accept the afer with you made toe before you Tet ry ofce lst right For some days Clements had been negating, on behalf of cet forthe puchace ofthe frm known as Battal & Coy of which Me otibol ws sole owner andthe nigh before Clements made i Rt ofr The was mercy an exploratory, choo ow br Kind of signal tothe seller thal the buyers were seriously interested. And by Cod thought Clint, he po foal as gone and need He todded gravely macy tines in an eflort to hid Hs stonishnent, nd he aid “Good, good Tso glad to ea that, Mr Beto: Then be Sgnleds wate nd sd “Po ge martinis” ‘Mr Botibol ‘Vr No, plesset Mr Botibollited both hands in horied protest. ‘Comme on’ Clements said, This is an occasion’ 1Ldeink very little, and never, no never during the middle of the “ft lets win gay mood nw and he ook no oie. He arden the mars tod hen ty cane song Mi Bat as iSenk bythe bare and good humo othe oer to ek fo he Sr ytchhnd jt brn otaed Clete spoke bey et fkeloing op sd aging of decumetesd wh al tha een tree cle fr woos coda Again Mi Boil pretest fot ques igri ths ie and Cements nde ks tether he tured tn sales te ther man in fenly wey. ‘ell Me St: hea now Hat tl ver mpgs weft pest no-beses ac epether What you yal An "As you what you wih’ Mr Bool answered without any thts He ads tal cncly ve and wey of prnoure Ue cah nord separately and slowly, though he wa Sxplnng sahing a a ir ny wert ito the dingoom Clemens deed bate of Late 917 ad's cepl of plant prtgs tog sath He ‘ads Cited nhs hed te amt of fi canon ed ft feng fee began fo mate brat eonenon cng froaly fom ore subject fo another ithe hapa touhing oe Seth tht gt est He gust But t's ogo he Batol opened to be oly bl Tieng. Every now al then he thes ltl on ile ve ses te eran ald Aided: When the wine cane ng Cents ted oa # ak South Ta sre ti excl’ Me Boil dt lee pve me oly a Cements told a funny story. When it was over, Mr Botibol regarded him solemnly for a few moments, then he said, How amusing” After that Clements kept his mouth shut and they ate in silence. Mr Botibol was drinking his wine and he dide’t seem to object when his host reached over and celled his glass, By the time they had finished ‘ating, Clements estimated privately that his guest had consumed at leat three quasars of the bottle “~ “A oigat, Me Botibol “Ohno, thank you “A litle brandy? ”105 no m5 "Met Ba why? “wl tell you, Mr Clements, I wil ell you if may make so bold ‘There was a nervous, mouseike quality in his voice which made i seem he was apologizing for everything he sid “Please tll me’ Clements sid. ‘Tis because to me you appear to have made sucha sucess of you we "He's going to get melancholy drunk, Clements thought, He's one of the ones that gets melancholy and I cart stand it. Success’ he sid 1 don't se anything especially sucessful about me “Oh yes Indeed. Your whole hfe, if | may say so, Mr Clements, appears tobe such pleasant and successful thing” "tm a very ordinary person’ Clements sid. He was trying to gue just how drunk the ther really was. “Lblieve’ ssid Mr Botibol, speaking slowly, separating each word carchly from the other, believe thatthe wine has gone a litle to iy head, but. He paused, searching for words... But 1 do want to ask you just one question” He had poured some salt on to the tabledloth and he was shaping i into a litle mountain withthe tip of cone finger. “hr Clements’ he said without looking up, ‘do you think that iis possible fora man to lve tothe age of fity-fvo without ever during Tis whole life having experienced one single small success in anything that he has done?” "My dear Mr Botibol’ Clements laughed, ‘everyone has hs ite successes from lime to time, Rowever small hey ay be: ‘Oh no, Mr Botibol said gently. ‘You are wrong, 1 for example, cannot remember having had a single sucess of any sort during my wale ife” "Now come! Clements said amling, That cant be tue. Why only this morting, you sold your business for & hundred thowané, Tcl that one hel ofa success” Mr Botibol + "E, “The business was left me by my father, When he died nine years ago. it was worth four times as much. Under my direction it has lost ofits value. You can hardly call that sucess’ ‘Cements knew this was true. “Yes, yes, allright’ he said. “That may beso, but all the same you know as well as Ido that every man alive has bis quota of litle successes. Not big ones maybe. But lots of litle cones. I mean, afer all goddamanit, even seoring goal at school was a Title success, a litle trumph, at the time, or making some runs or learing to swim. One forgets about them thats all. One just forgets’ “T never scored a goal’ Mr Botibol said. “And I never leamed to sw ‘Clements threw up his hands and made exasperated noises. Yes yes. know, but don't you see, don't you see there are thousands, telly thousands of other things like. well... lik catching good fish of fixing the motor of the car, or pleasing someone with a present, or growing a decent row of French beans, or wining a litle bet or. er... why hell one can go on listing them forever "Perhaps you ean, Mr Clements, but to the best of my knowledge, 1 have never done any of those things. That is what I am trying to tell you ‘Clements put down his brandy glass and stared with new interest at the remarkable shoulderless person who sat facing him. He was annoyed and he didnt feel in the least sympathetic. The man didnt inspire sympathy. He was a fool. He must be a fool. A tremendous and absolute foo, Clements had a sudden desire to embarrass the man 2s much as he could. What about women. Mr Botibol’ There was no apology forthe question in the tone of his voice. ‘Women "Yes women! Every man under the sun even the most wretched fithy downandout tramp has some time or other had some sort of silly litle success with ‘Never! cried Mr Botibol with sudden vigour. No sit, neverf Tm going to hit him. Clements told himself cant stand this any longer and ifm not careful Fm going to jump right up and hit him. "You mean you don't ike them? he sid ‘Oh dear me yes, of course Ulike them. As a matter of fact admire them very much, very much indeed. But m afraid... oh dear me. so not know how io say it... am atad that | do not seem to get slong with them very well. never have. Never. You see, Mr Clements T lok queer. | know I do. They stare at me. and often I see them laughing at me. Ihave never been able to get within... well, within 15. Ms 155“distance of them, as you might say.’ The trace of a smile, _and infinitely sad, flickered around the comers of his mouth. 3% ‘Clements had had enough. He mumbled something about how he “| vas sure Me Botibol was the sifuation, then he glanced at his watch, called for the bill, and he said he was sorry but he would Ihave to get back tothe office ‘They parted in the street outside the hotel and Mr Botibol took cab back to lis house He opened the front door, went ito the living: tom and switched on the radio; then he sat down in large leather hair, leaned back and closed his eyes. He didnt feel exactly giddy, tut there was a singing in is ears and his thoughts were coming and t going more quickly than usual. That solictor gave me too much wine, Ie told himsell. I stay here fora while and listen to some musi and 170 expect Il goto slep and ater that I fel beter. ‘They were playing a symphony on the radio. Mr Bokbol had | away been eal Inener to synpony concerts and he kre | ‘enough to identify this as one of Beethover's. But now, as he lay back | ae slang {in his chair listening to the marvellous music, a new thought began to 175 expand slowly within his tipsy mind. It wasnt a dream because he was rot asleep. It was a dear conscious thought and it was this: 1am the ‘composer of this music T am a great composer. This is my latest symphony and this is the frst performance. The huge hall is packed with people cites, musicans and musiclovers from all over the 189 country ~ and Iam up there in font ofthe orchestra, conducting, Mr Botibol could see the whole thing. He could see himself up on the rostrum dressed in a white He and tail, and before him 25 the ‘orchestra, the massed violins on his left the violas infront, the cellos (on his right, and back of them were all the woodwinds and bassoons 185 and drums and cymbals, the players watching every moment of his baton with an intense almost 2 faratical reverence. Behind his, in the half darkness of the huge hall, was row upon row of white enraptured faces, looking up towards him. listening with growing excitement as yet another new symphony by the greatest composer the world has 190 ever seen unfolded itself majestically before them. Some ofthe audience were clenching their fats and digging their nails into the palms of their hands because the music was so beautiful that they could hardly stand |. Mr Botibol became so carried away by this exciting vision that he beg to swing his inns in time swith the music in the manner of & 195 conductor. He found it was such fun doing this that he decided to stand up, facing the radio, in order to give himself more freedom of moverent. ‘Mr Botibol a0 He stood there in the middle ofthe room, tall thin and shouldeess dressed in his tight blue double-breasted suit, his small bald head jerking from side to side as he waved his arms in the air. He knew the ‘symphony well enough to be able occasionally to anticipate changes in tempo or volume, and when the music became loud and fast he beat the air 40 vigorously that he nearly knocked himself over when it was, soft and hushed, he leaned forward to queten the players with genlle movements of his outstretched hands, and all the time he could feel the presence ofthe huge audience behind him, tense, immobile, listen- ing. When a last the symphony swelled to its tremendous condsion ‘Mr Botibol became more frenzied than ever and his face seemed 10 thrust itself round to one side in an agony of effort as he tried to force more and still more power from his orchestra during those final mighty chords, ‘Then i was over. The announcer was saying something, but Mr dott guy we of th no and lied a da bowing heavily ‘Phew! he sad aloud. My goodness gracious me, what have I been doicg! Small globules of sweat were ooring out all over his face and forehead, trickling down his neck inside his collar. He pulled out 2 handkerchief and wiped them away, and he lay thee for 2 while panting exhausted, but exceedingly exkilarated. “Well must sty’ he gasped, stl speaking aloud, that tows fun, | don't know that I have ever had such fun before in all my life. My goodness, it was fur, it really was!" Almost at once he began to play ath he iden of ding it ga ut shoul et Shull be sow hist to do it again? ‘was no denying that now, in retrospect, he fell a litle gully about the whole busiest, and soon he began to wonder whether there wast something downright immoral about ital Letting himself go like that! And imagining he was a genius It was wrong. He was sure other people didn't doit, And what if Mason had come in the middle and seen him ati! That would have been tele He reached forthe paper and pretended to rea it, but soon he was searching fatvely among, the radio programmes fot the evening. He paths finger under a ine which sid'8.30 Symphony Concert Brahms Symphony No.2” He stared ati for a long time. The eters in the word ‘Brahms’ began to blur and recede, and grathaly they disap feared altogether and were replaced by letters which 3p Bot bo Botbot's Symphony No.2 It was printed que clearly. He was reading, i nom, this moment. Yes, yes he whispered. Fst performance. The word is waiting to hear i Will tbe as great, they are asking, wil t 20 2~ Ten Short Stories perhaps bi greater than his eatier work? And the composer hinsel Eon pounded to conduct He ey ar tg, tery oem appears in public but on this occasion ft Wi Dotbol aed fornard hear and pred the bel Desde the fireplace. Mason the butler, the only other person in the house ancient, small and grave, appeared at the door. “Er... Mazon, have we any wine in the house?” ‘Wine sit “Gheote We avs fad any wie hs eno seen yes father sit. "er iow, Mason 1 iow, but wil you get sme plese want with my dinner’ ete bal wa taken Vr wel and wht hitb “Claret, Mason, The best you can obtain, Get a case. Tell ther to it round at once’ “nen te wes dene ag, be was momertarly ape by the simple manner in which he had made his decision, Wine for dinnet Just like that! Well, yes, why nott Why ever not now he eame to think of if He was his om master. And anyway it was essential that he have wine. It semed to have a good effet, avery good effec indeed. He wanted it and he was going to have it and to hell with Mason. He rested forthe remainder of the afternoon, and at severthity Mason announced dinner. The bottle of wine was on the table and he began to drink it. He didn't give a damn about the way Mason watched him as he reflled his glass. Thee times he refiled it then he left the table saying that he was not to be disturbed and retumed to the living zoom. There was quater of an hour to wait. He could think of nothing now except the coming concert. He lay back in the chair and allowed his thoughis to wander deliciously towards eightthity. He was the great composer waiting impatiently in his dressing room in the concrthl He could hear in the dite the murmur of exci the crowd as they settled themselves in their seats hes thy ee sig nth Seo hg he shad been saying for months, Botibol is a genis, greater, {a ocker than Bechowen or Bachar Bane ov Most of ry of therm Each new work of his is more magnificent than the lst. What wl the next one be liket We can hardly wait to hear i’ Oh yes, jie knew what they were saying. He stood up and began to pace the room. It was neatly time now. He seized a pencil from the table to se 132 baton, then he switched on the radio, The announcer had just ‘Mr Botibo! ¢ 3 fished the preliminaries and suddenly there was a burt of applause which meant thatthe conductor was coming on to the platform. The concert in the atemon had been from gramophone records, but this one wes the rel thing. Mr Botibol turned around, faced the fireplace and bowed graciously from the waist. Then he turned back to the radio and led his baton. The clapping stopped. There was 2 moment's silence. Someone in the audience coughed. Mr Botibol waited. The symphony began. ‘Once again as he began to conduct, he could see dearly before himn the whole orchestra and the faces of the players and even the ‘expressions on their faces. Three ofthe violinists had grey hair. One cof the cellists was very fat, another wore heavy brownesmmed asses, and there was a man in the second row playing 2 hor who tad a twiteh on one side of his face. But they were all magraficent ‘xd 50 was the music During certain impressive passages Me Bot. bol experienced a feling of exultation so powerful that it made him ay out for joy, and once during the Third Movement. a lille shiver of ecstasy radited spontaneously from his solar plexus and moved downward over the skin of his stomach like needles. But the thunderous applause and the cheering which came af the end of the symphony was the most splendid thing of all. He tured slowly towards the freplice and bowed. The clapping continued and he went on bowing until at lest the noise died away and the an: ouncer’s voice jerked him suddenly back into the living-room. He switched off the radio and collapsed into his chair, exhrusted but very happy. ‘As he lay thee, smiling with pleasure, wiping his wet fae, panting for breath, he was already making plans for his next performance. But why not do it properly? Why not convert one ofthe fooms into & sort of concert-hall and have a stage and rove of chairs nd do the thing propery And have a gramophone s0 that one could perform at any time without having to rely on the radio programme. Yes by heavens, he would do it! The next moming Mr Botibol aranged with a firm of decorators that the largest room in the house be converted into a miniature conceal. There was to be a raised stage at one end and the rest of the oorspace was tobe filed with rows of ed plush seats. Tm going fo have som little concerts here, fie told the man from the frm, and the man nodded and sad that would be very nice. At the same time be ordered a radio shop to instal an expensive selfchanging, gramo- Phone with two powerful amplifiers, ane on the stage the othe at the 201 205 310 315 a0! 25