RELIGIOUS TRAUMA RECOVERY

ter Kit
Star

01
RESEARCH VOCAB LIST
Understanding religious trauma begins
by learning some basic terms. Some are
specific to the religious trauma world.
Others help us translate for mental
health professionals.

RESEARCH BOOKLIST

05
Once you understand basic terms, you'll
find yourself drawn to certain ideas that
resonate with your experience. This is
my list from researching to give you a
head start.

ACUTE RELAXATION

07
PRACTICES
Research can only go so far without
practice. And you may need these
sooner rather than later as you look
into things and feel threatened by
painful past learning.

08
SERVICES
When you're ready to bring other
humans into your process, here are
some places to start.

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 sea rch
Re
VOCAB LIST
You’ll find a lot of vocabulary out there that can help you understand what you
experienced in harmful religion and what you can do to recover from it. This specific list is
a starting place for research. When you’re able to understand these terms, you’ll be able
to start piecing things together for yourself, so you can better understand your story and
decide what you’d like to do next.

I’ve seen many people begin their religious trauma recovery journey
with the word “trauma.” That certainly makes sense. The term has
become more popular recently, and in the past, we’ve often used it
as a noun. The assumption that “a trauma” or “a traumatic event”
caused what you’re experiencing comes from older 20th century
Spiritual/ understandings of trauma.

Religious In the 21st century, we now understand trauma to be about a body’s

response to an event - not the event itself. This means we get to
Abuse name events or behavioral patterns. Religious or spiritual abuse is
the event or behavioral pattern that often causes religious trauma.

There are plenty of books out there using both iterations of the term
“religious abuse” and “spiritual abuse” and this can give you a
handle on the behavior you experienced as normal that is, in fact,
violent and not okay.

A lot of religious or spiritual abuse is emotional abuse and/or

emotional neglect dressed in religious language and practices.
Researching emotional abuse will both help you understand what
may have caused you harm in religion while also giving you tools to
Emotional recognize unhealthy behavioral patterns going forward.

Abuse/ It’s also worth noting that toxic theology normalizes emotional
abuse in relationships. This means you may have experienced
Neglect emotional abuse or emotional neglect from your parents if they were
attempting to follow the tenets of a toxic religion. In addition, you
may find emotionally abusive relationship dynamics comfortably
familiar because of your experiences in toxic religion. This is all
connected back to living in a toxic religious involvement.

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 sea rch
Re
VOCAB LIST
Religious trauma is the body’s response to experiences of overwhelm
as a result of religious or spiritual abuse (some use the terminology
“adverse religious experiences”) including living in a toxic religious
environment for any given period of time. A variety of definitions of
religious trauma exist throughout the internet. None have been
officially recognized by mental health diagnostic channels. When
Religious working with mental health providers who don’t know much about
religious trauma, it can be helpful to use vocabulary they can

Trauma understand (more options below).

It’s worth noting that there are a handful of books and sites
referencing “spiritual trauma” out there, but the concept did not
take off nearly as powerfully as religious trauma did - and many of
those materials are more pastoral care oriented and focus on
religious involvement.

This term was coined in 2011 by Dr. Marlene Winell, a psychologist

who studied human development. She was not looking for clients
suffering from the effects of religious harm in her practice; she just
started noticing patterns in people showing up in her office who had
left religious communities.

The word “syndrome” has been somewhat controversial in the

Religious broader religious trauma community which emerged since she
originally defined the term.
Trauma
In my conversations with Marlene, she emphasized the word
Syndrome syndrome as “a collection of symptoms” and she iterated that the
harmful effects of religion involve more than just trauma. There are
developmental issues at play as well that come from being
indoctrinated.

Religious Trauma Syndrome is also not in official diagnostic

channels, but can be helpful for your personal work in understanding
what’s going on with you including and beyond trauma.

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 sea rch
Re
VOCAB LIST
Now we’re getting into secular. therapist language. C-PTSD stands
for Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. The traumatologist I
currently work for, Dr. Eric Gentry, would consider religious trauma
to be complex trauma. The term was originally coined in the early
1990’s by Dr. Judith Herman.

C-PTSD is different than simple PTSD because the trauma is chronic

CPTSD rather than from one or two big events, so it applies to things like
captivity, domestic violence, systemic oppression, and toxic religious
involvement.

C-PTSD is also not in official diagnostic channels in the US, but it did
make it into ICD-11 (International Classification of Diseases) along
with an acknowledgment that religion can be a cause of it.

Complex trauma can also be called attachment trauma. In your

research about anything from parenting to finding a healthy
romantic partner, you may have come across attachment theory,
created by Bowlby in the 1950’s. It involves an infant’s initial
relationship with their caregiver. In the past, people have only talked
about 3 different types of attachment: secure (I’m good, others are
good), avoidant (I’m good, others are bad), and anxious (I’m bad,
others are good).

Disorganized I’ve seen some discussion in the religious trauma world of people

Attachment who encountered the three attachment styles and think, “Well, I’m a
mix of avoidant and anxious.” Guess what. There’s a name for that:
disorganized attachment (I’m bad, others are bad too).

Disorganized attachment is more recently researched and is an

update to the original attachment theory, but a good attachment-
oriented therapist should know what it is. I’d speculate that
disorganized attachment is common among people with religious
trauma. Toxic religion often teaches that I’m bad (original sin) and
others can’t be trusted either (we’re all sinners). Add a
simultaneously loving and violent God to that equation and it’s easy
to operate from a world view of “I’m bad, others are bad too.”

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 sea rch
Re
VOCAB LIST
I first encountered this term from Steven Hassan’s work. Phobia
indoctrination occurs when a group or leader instills irrational fears
into their members that make them afraid to leave. Hell is a great
example of phobia indoctrination. Even if a person successfully
Phobia leaves a controlling religious group and is empirically safe, the ever-
looming threat of hell can continue scaring them afterward.
Indoctrination
Phobia indoctrination is one mind control technique used in toxic
religious groups. You can find out more about mind control in
Hassan’s books (I’ve listed my recommendation on the booklist
page).

I love Emily Joy Allison’s definition of purity culture as “the spiritual

Purity corrolary of rape culture.” Anyone who grew up in an abstinence-

until-heterosexual-marriage iteration of religion will have
experienced some of the harmful effects of purity culture that can
Culture make pleasure, sex, and identity a major challenge after leaving
religion. Many people are writing and talking about this all over the
internet.

I found this term from Dr. Jennifer Freyd while researching her idea
“Betrayal Trauma.” Ultimately, she was able to articulate that when
we are completely dependent on others, our bodies protect us from
seeing the flaws of those taking care of us. This is how we develop
Betrayal such harsh inner monologues. It is easier for a child or dependent
human to find fault in themselves or be completely unaware of
Blindness problematic behavior than to honestly articulate inappropriate action
from their caregivers.

If you need a reason to forgive yourself and your family for staying
in a toxic religious environment for so long, betrayal blindness might
get you there.

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 search
Re
BOOK LIST
Leaving the Fold - Marlene Winell
Marlene had not named Religious Trauma Syndrome when
she wrote this book, so you won't find information about
trauma in it. However, you will find helpful perspective on for understanding
how religion can harm and exercises for continuing your
personal development after leaving a controlling religious
group.
how religion can
Overcoming Cult Mind Control - Steven Hassan
be harmful
Hassan’s more extreme experience with the Moonies can
shed light on subtler aspects of fundamentalist religion
that breeds spiritual/religious abuse and resultant trauma.

Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman

This one is for those who want to nerd out on history and
psychology. It’s addressed to therapists, not clients, so it's not as
self-help oriented. Herman's writing and research represented in this
book are THE source for C-PTSD. She named it in this book.

C-PTSD: from surviving to thriving - Pete Walker

This is closer to self-help and made a huge difference in my
for understanding of what happened to me as a result of growing up in a
toxic religious culture. The suggestions for dealing with emotional

understanding flashbacks and exploration of the inner critic were particularly

potent for me.

CPTSD Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay

Gibson
The exercises in this book are so helpful as is Gibson’s ability to
articulate that neglect is just as harmful as abuse but a lot less
noticeable. If you feel like nothing that terrible happened to you, but
you still feel like shit, this book may have some answers for you.

Betrayal Blindness - Jennifer Freyd

If you want to extend some understanding to yourself and even your
family, this book gives some explanation as to why you may not have
noticed toxic patterns at first even if they were really bad.

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 search
Re
BOOK LIST
Pure - Linda Kay Klein
This book is full of stories about people who have left
purity culture. It’s helpful for companionship and
articulating how purity culture can hurt and distort a
person’s sexuality.

#churchtoo - Emily Joy Allison

Allison gets at the dysfunctional patterns that emerge from
an abstinence-until-heterosexual-marriage-in-the-name-
of-God approach to sexuality. Made me angry in a good
way.
for understanding
The Ethical Slut - Dossie Eaton and Janet Hardy
and recovering
from purity
Trying to figure out sex ethics outside the confines of purity
culture is tough work. This book is a great start and a great
education.
culture
Come As You Are - Emily Nagoski
This is the “what now?” book to be reading after you
understand what you’ve been through and you’re ready to
enjoy your life - including your sex life. It is specifically
geared toward people with vulvas, vaginas, and clitorises,
but any humans who interact with humans who have these
things will benefit from the book as well. So all yáll.

Forward Facing Freedom - J. Eric Gentry and Jenny Brackman

Articulating the problem and working to solve it are two different things. This

for trauma book gives you trauma theory, but also gives you immediate practical ways to
start resolving trauma in everyday life - without a therapist. I base my coaching
on this approach and have found both the explanations and the practical
recovery application essential to the recovery and thriving of myself and my clients.

without a Self-Therapy - Jay Early

While not as body-oriented, I appreciate Early's way of teaching Internal

therapist Family Systems and wish I would've had access to this information during
my first round of deconstruction when I eventually decided that all of my
demons were actually just different parts of myself. I believe in this
approach because I used it intuitively on myself without anyone teaching it
to me. This book walks you through the process.

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 ACUTE RELAXATION ces
racti P
*All practices taken from Forward-Facing® approach to resilience and trauma resolution.

Have you felt a pit in your stomach, reading about how your religion may not be as true as people led you to believe? Is
considering the possibility of religious trauma making you worry about whether or not they might actually be right?

This is a normal reaction for people who have spent time in controlling religions (see phobia indoctrination on the vocab list for
more info).

There are some skills you can put into practice right now that can help you stay focused as you research and lessen the distress
in your body when you encounter things your body has been trained to be afraid of.

These practices are about interrupting your threat response in everyday moments. They take 5-10 seconds to do and can often
be done while you're doing other things - like having a conversation or reading about religious trauma.

1. Take a moment to scan your body for any place

where you're holding tension in your muscles.
2. Once you've located it, focus on that spot and
Tense and try to make it even more tense.
3. Release.
Release 4. Notice how you feel and do it again as often as
you need as you notice tension coming back.

Peripheral Drift
1. Pick a spot in front of you and focus on it for 5 seconds
2. Let your vision blur and go out of focus for another 5 seconds.
3. Shift your focus, but not your gaze, to your peripheral vision for 10 seconds.
4. The exercise helps you remember what this feels like, but using it in your life
can be as simple as switching to a peripheral focus whenever you notice
tension in your body.

1. First, make a touch memory of your pelvic region by putting your hands
under your butt and locating the two pointy bits on either side, then
finding the two pointy bits on your hips below your abdomen (use image
the to the left help if needed).
2. Now imagine that area as a slightly tilted square.
3. Release all the muscles in the square. This should feel like a relief, not
something you're trying to hold - think half a Kegel, not a whole one. If
all else fails, just notice when you're clenching your butt, and release it.
4. Notice how you feel when you release these muscles and do it again as
often as you need as you notice tension coming back. Pelvic Floor

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting

 rvices
e
S FOR WHEN YOU'RE READY TO
INCLUDE OTHERS IN YOUR PROCESS
It's common for people with religious trauma to love research to a fault. Part of that comes from the dissociative ways we've
survived - leaving our bodies behind as we force ourselves to believe the right things, doing whatever cognitive work it takes to
get there. Toxic religious cultures often train us to favor our minds over practicing skills in real life in conversation with our
bodies.

Recovering involves a lot more than just knowing things. It involves developing skills based on what you learn. Recovery also
involves learning how to trust yourself around other people, including connecting with people who are not out to control you.
When you're ready to learn how to feel safe with other humans, it's time to reach out for live support. Here's what I offer for
people when they're seeking that human connection.

I run 6-week support groups that help people work together to practice
acute relaxation and intentionality, helping each person define what they
Group Support want for their lives now that they get to run the show.

This group includes some video curriculum to better understand how

self-regulation resolves trauma in real-time and how people with
religious trauma can uniquely benefit from that process.

But more than the education, you get human connection with people
who have also been harmed by religion. That group contact reduces
shame and isolation in a way one-on-one work just can't, and it's
powerful to be part of that connection.

Sometimes you need individual attention to help get some clarity from the

jumbled mess religious trauma leaves behind in your body and your thought
processes. I do both coaching and consulting to help you get clarity and move
forward with your life.
One-on-One
Consulting comes from my own work researching religious trauma, toxic Coaching/Consulting
theology, and trauma in general. I can help you apply your growing vocabulary
to the specifics of your life experiences so you can emerge with a story that
empowers you and gives you the ability to own your experiences without
constantly second-guessing yourself.

As a coach, I help you work on applying trauma resolution skills in everyday life.
My personal experience with religious trauma makes this an informed peer-to-
peer process. I've had clients tell me they've progressed so much faster with
me than with their therapist because they don't have to explain everything to
me. I've lived so much of that toxic theology myself and am in recovery too. But
don't worry, I did my homework. I also come with International Coaching
Federation credentials and certification in Forward-Facing® Health and
Wellness coaching for trauma.

Getting started with either of these services

starts with a free 30 minute call. I want to connect!

Emily Hedrick Coaching and Consulting