1

00:00:15,006 --> 00:00:16,894

Whatcha doing?

2
00:00:16,962 --> 00:00:19,726
I'm attempting to view my work
as a fleeting peripheral image

3
00:00:19,794 --> 00:00:22,559
so as to engage the superior
colliculus of my brain.

4
00:00:25,795 --> 00:00:27,160
Interesting.

5
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,030
I usually just have coffee.

6
00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:31,137
You've been up all night?

7
00:00:31,204 --> 00:00:32,141
Is it morning?

8
00:00:32,209 --> 00:00:33,146
Yes.

9
00:00:33,214 --> 00:00:34,714
Then I've been up all night.

10
00:00:37,151 --> 00:00:38,658
And you're stuck?

11
00:00:38,725 --> 00:00:40,393
Why else would a person
try to engage

12
00:00:40,461 --> 00:00:42,534
their superior colliculus?

13
00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:46,576
Oh, sorry, sweetie, I can't help
you till I've had my coffee.

14
00:00:53,824 --> 00:00:56,961
Penny, I told you if you don't
put him in his crate at night

15
00:00:57,029 --> 00:00:58,998
he just runs around
the apartment.

16
00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,639
What is he doing now?

17
00:01:03,707 --> 00:01:05,977
LEONARD: Hmm, he's
either isolating the terms

18
00:01:06,045 --> 00:01:09,883
of his formula and examining
them individually,

19
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:11,352
or...

20
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,654
looking for the alligator
that swallowed his hand

21
00:01:13,722 --> 00:01:15,756
after Peter Pan cut it off.

22
00:01:15,824 --> 00:01:18,459
Captain Hook's hand was eaten
by a crocodile,

23
00:01:18,527 --> 00:01:20,161
not an alligator.

24
00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:24,700
If you're going to mock me, at
least get your facts straight.

25
00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:27,903
Aye, aye, Captain.

26
00:01:27,971 --> 00:01:30,005
I can't see it!

27
00:01:30,073 --> 00:01:31,507
It just won't coalesce.
28
00:01:31,574 --> 00:01:33,242
Maybe you need
a fresh start.

29
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,378
You're right.

30
00:01:43,155 --> 00:01:45,291
(tires squealing
and car horns honking)

31
00:01:46,627 --> 00:01:49,229
It's a great idea, Leonard.
Thank you.

32
00:01:50,966 --> 00:01:54,503
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

33
00:01:54,571 --> 00:01:57,807
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

34
00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,476
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

35
00:01:59,544 --> 00:02:02,180
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

36
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,683
<i>♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪</i>

37
00:02:04,751 --> 00:02:07,385
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

38
00:02:07,453 --> 00:02:09,288
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

39
00:02:09,356 --> 00:02:10,990
<i>♪ Bang! ♪</i>

40
00:02:10,991 --> 00:02:13,060
Transcript by Addic7ed.com

41
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:17,730
Electrons move
through graphene...

42
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,355
act as if they
have no mass...

43
00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:23,959
How long has
he been stuck?

44
00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:26,228
Intellectually about 30 hours.

45
00:02:26,296 --> 00:02:28,131
Emotionally about 29 years.

46
00:02:28,198 --> 00:02:31,735
Unit cell contains
two carbon atoms...

47
00:02:31,802 --> 00:02:35,038
Interior angle
of a hexagon is 120 degrees.

48
00:02:37,976 --> 00:02:40,411
Have you tried
rebooting him?

49
00:02:40,479 --> 00:02:42,680
(chuckles)

50
00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:43,781
(laughing)

51
00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:47,117
No, I think it's
a firmware problem.

52
00:02:47,185 --> 00:02:50,154
Hey, it's Disco Night
at the Moonlight Roller Rink
53
00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:51,455
in Glendale tonight.

54
00:02:51,523 --> 00:02:53,758
Who's up for getting down?

55
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,393
That's perfect.

56
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:58,028
Bernadette's been hocking me
to take her roller skating.

57
00:02:58,096 --> 00:02:59,463
I think Penny likes to skate.

58
00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,864
The four of us could double.

59
00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:02,399
What could be better?
We're in.

60
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:05,869
Great. It's not like I brought
it up because I wanted to go.

61
00:03:08,673 --> 00:03:10,507
You can come with us.

62
00:03:10,575 --> 00:03:12,109
No, it's okay.
I don't have to go.

63
00:03:12,177 --> 00:03:13,811
I'm happy just to guide
you and your ladies

64
00:03:13,878 --> 00:03:15,512
to suitable
entertainment choices.

65
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,182
I'm a walking brown Yelp.com.

66
00:03:19,785 --> 00:03:23,120
Structure, constant
structure. One atom...

67
00:03:23,188 --> 00:03:25,489
Boy, he's really gone,
isn't he?

68
00:03:25,557 --> 00:03:28,893
Yeah, this morning he used
a stick of butter as deodorant.

69
00:03:28,961 --> 00:03:32,296
I thought I smelled popcorn.

70
00:03:35,401 --> 00:03:36,701
Pattern is the same
as fermions...

71
00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:37,802
Travels on
the pathways...

72
00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:39,170
Hexagonal...
It's always hexagonal...

73
00:03:39,238 --> 00:03:42,173
I haven't seen him this stuck
since he tried to figure out

74
00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:43,508
<i>the third Matrix movie.</i>

75
00:03:43,576 --> 00:03:45,210
(gasps)

76
00:03:46,111 --> 00:03:48,479
Hey, those are my lima beans!

77
00:03:48,547 --> 00:03:51,984
Not lima beans, carbon atoms.

78
00:03:52,052 --> 00:03:53,719
But if I don't eat
my lima beans,
79
00:03:53,787 --> 00:03:55,387
I can't have my cookie.

80
00:03:55,455 --> 00:03:56,922
Here, you want my peas?

81
00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,123
The peas- perfect.

82
00:03:58,191 --> 00:03:59,592
They can be electrons.

83
00:03:59,659 --> 00:04:00,860
Want my corn?

84
00:04:00,927 --> 00:04:03,095
Don't be ridiculous.

85
00:04:04,163 --> 00:04:05,864
What would I do with corn?

86
00:04:05,932 --> 00:04:09,768
So roller skating
- should we all grab a bite to eat first?

87
00:04:09,836 --> 00:04:11,269
Good. P.F. Chang's?

88
00:04:11,337 --> 00:04:12,637
My mom has coupons.

89
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:13,839
Great.

90
00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:15,907
Your mom's not
coming, right?

91
00:04:15,975 --> 00:04:19,510
Not this time, I promise.

92
00:04:19,578 --> 00:04:21,613
Okay, just to be clear,
roller skating was my idea,
93
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,382
and I'm very unhappy that you
turned it into a double date,

94
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,551
and I hope you both fall
on your asses

95
00:04:26,619 --> 00:04:27,919
and break your coccyxes.

96
00:04:30,255 --> 00:04:33,591
The plural of coccyx
is coccyges.

97
00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:36,360
Screw you.
Give me back my lima beans.

98
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:39,996
Oh, my God.

99
00:04:40,064 --> 00:04:41,631
Have you ever
been so embarrassed?

100
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:42,866
Not recently.

101
00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:44,501
I don't know
which was lamer:

102
00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:46,770
their roller-skating
or their disco dancing.

103
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,605
For me, the worst part

104
00:04:48,673 --> 00:04:51,975
was when people
saw us leave with them.

105
00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:56,080
You had some nice moves
out there, Howard.

106
00:04:56,147 --> 00:04:57,248
Thanks. You, too.
Yeah.

107
00:04:57,315 --> 00:04:59,450
Did you notice all the
people looking at us?

108
00:05:00,719 --> 00:05:03,621
Not really. I was
in my boogie zone.

109
00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:07,959
When Howard tried
to do the splits...

110
00:05:08,026 --> 00:05:09,093
Shh.

111
00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:10,561
Sorry. I'm moving
a little slow.

112
00:05:10,629 --> 00:05:12,429
I think I bruised
my coccyx.

113
00:05:12,497 --> 00:05:13,830
Oh, poor baby.

114
00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,766
Don't tell Koothrappali.

115
00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,267
After you.

116
00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,634
Oh, what a gentleman.

117
00:05:18,702 --> 00:05:20,102
Hey, Sheldon.

118
00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,137
(screams) LEONARD: Oh, my God!
119
00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:23,372
Are you...

120
00:05:24,374 --> 00:05:25,741
SHELDON:
Good Lord!

121
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:26,808
You're ruining everything!

122
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:28,009
Oh, damn.

123
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,143
Are you okay?

124
00:05:29,211 --> 00:05:30,478
Do I look okay?

125
00:05:30,546 --> 00:05:32,513
Don't bark at me.
I fell, too.

126
00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:34,381
Oh, you've been falling
all night. You're used to it.

127
00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:38,185
Sheldon, what the
hell are you doing?

128
00:05:38,253 --> 00:05:40,054
The same thing I've been doing
for three days.

129
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,556
Trying to figure out
why electrons

130
00:05:41,623 --> 00:05:43,324
behave as if they have no mass

131
00:05:43,392 --> 00:05:45,092
when traveling
through a graphene sheet.
132
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,294
With marbles?

133
00:05:46,361 --> 00:05:47,629
Well, I needed something bigger

134
00:05:47,696 --> 00:05:49,764
than peas, now, didn't I?

135
00:05:49,832 --> 00:05:53,368
Sheldon, when was the last time
you got any sleep?

136
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,603
I don't know- two, three days.

137
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:55,837
Not important.

138
00:05:55,905 --> 00:05:58,207
I don't need sleep.
I need answers.

139
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,842
I need to determine where

140
00:05:59,909 --> 00:06:02,745
in this swamp
of unbalanced formulas

141
00:06:02,812 --> 00:06:06,348
squatteth the toad of truth.

142
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:07,850
Toad of truth?

143
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:09,685
Is that a physics thing?

144
00:06:09,753 --> 00:06:12,388
No, that's a
crazy thing.

145
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,223
Okay, Sheldon.

146
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,759
What happens
to our neuroreceptors

147
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:19,361
when we don't get
enough REM sleep?

148
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:24,366
They lose their sensitivity
to serotonin and norepinephrine.

149
00:06:24,434 --> 00:06:25,568
Which leads to...?

150
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,537
Impaired cognitive function.

151
00:06:28,604 --> 00:06:32,840
Right, so march in there,
brush your teeth and go to bed.

152
00:06:32,908 --> 00:06:36,444
But I don't want to go to bed.

153
00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:39,814
I'm going to count
to three. One...

154
00:06:39,881 --> 00:06:41,582
Oh, all right.

155
00:06:45,119 --> 00:06:47,988
That was amazing
how you handled him.

156
00:06:48,055 --> 00:06:50,156
I know how to deal
with stubborn children.

157
00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:53,726
My mother used to run an illegal
day care center in our basement.

158
00:06:59,766 --> 00:07:02,168
(evil laughter)

159
00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:10,042
Leonard, you're... you're
giggling in your sleep.

160
00:07:10,109 --> 00:07:11,343
It's not me.

161
00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:13,045
It's my new ringtone.

162
00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:15,681
<i>The Joker from Batman.</i>

163
00:07:15,749 --> 00:07:18,050
Well, it creeps me out.

164
00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:21,488
Me, too, but I paid
three bucks for it.

165
00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,023
Just answer the phone.

166
00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:25,059
(sighs)

167
00:07:27,796 --> 00:07:29,564
Hello.

168
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,934
Yeah, I'm Leonard Hofstadter.

169
00:07:34,436 --> 00:07:36,003
Yeah, yeah, he's my roommate.

170
00:07:37,339 --> 00:07:39,573
Oh, God, is he okay?

171
00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:43,044
Yeah, all-all right.
I'll be right there.

172
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,712
What happened?

173
00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:48,249
Sheldon's escaped
and is terrorizing the village.

174
00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:51,952
Okay. Have fun.

175
00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:57,224
Hi. I'm Dr. Hofstadter.

176
00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:59,258
Where is he?
Ball pit.

177
00:08:02,162 --> 00:08:04,363
Thanks for not
calling the cops.

178
00:08:04,431 --> 00:08:05,964
Oh, hey, it's
no big deal.

179
00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:08,200
My sister's got a kid
who's special.

180
00:08:09,269 --> 00:08:12,771
Yeah, well,
he's extra special.

181
00:08:14,474 --> 00:08:15,607
Hey, Shelly.

182
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:18,144
What you doing?

183
00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,645
Size ratio was all wrong.

184
00:08:19,713 --> 00:08:20,980
Couldn't visualize it.

185
00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:23,115
Needed bigger carbon atoms.

186
00:08:24,151 --> 00:08:26,152
Sure, sure.

187
00:08:27,355 --> 00:08:29,422
How did you get
into this place?

188
00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:32,025
Back door has a five-pin
tumbler system,

189
00:08:32,093 --> 00:08:33,960
single-circuit alarm.
Child's play.

190
00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:38,265
You can start sorting protons
and neutrons

191
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,334
while I build carbon atoms.

192
00:08:40,402 --> 00:08:41,702
No, I don't think so.

193
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,304
We need to go home now.

194
00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:45,540
But I'm still working.

195
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,242
If you don't come out of there,

196
00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:49,177
I'm going to have
to drag you out.

197
00:08:50,347 --> 00:08:53,014
You can try,
but you'll never catch me.

198
00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:59,187
For God's sakes.
199
00:09:04,226 --> 00:09:05,859
Sheldon, come here!

200
00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:08,228
Bazinga.

201
00:09:10,531 --> 00:09:15,036
Bazinga.

202
00:09:16,071 --> 00:09:20,042
Bazinga.

203
00:09:27,052 --> 00:09:28,352
<i>OF GAIN DET(whispering):
AND FABRLeonard and Penny.</i>

204
00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:29,653
Leonard and Penny.
(screams)

205
00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:31,555
What?
What, what, what?

206
00:09:36,261 --> 00:09:38,195
Leonard and Penny.

207
00:09:38,263 --> 00:09:40,197
What?

208
00:09:40,265 --> 00:09:41,999
I have good news.
LEONARD: And you had

209
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,568
to barge in here
and wake us up

210
00:09:43,636 --> 00:09:44,703
in the middle
of the night?

211
00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:46,371
Your cell phone was off.
212
00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:48,841
Because we didn't want
to be disturbed.

213
00:09:48,908 --> 00:09:51,844
Well, that didn't work out,
did it?

214
00:09:51,912 --> 00:09:54,881
Sheldon, what
do you want?

215
00:09:54,949 --> 00:09:57,651
I came to tell you
I've got the answer.

216
00:09:57,718 --> 00:09:59,419
Really?

217
00:09:59,487 --> 00:10:01,854
You figured out
the graphene problem?

218
00:10:01,922 --> 00:10:03,990
No, no, I'm still
hopelessly stuck on that,

219
00:10:04,057 --> 00:10:07,192
but I figured out
how to figure it out.

220
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,861
Okay, you know what,
Leonard, I know I said

221
00:10:08,928 --> 00:10:10,429
I could handle your roommate,
but I was wrong.

222
00:10:10,497 --> 00:10:11,763
We're going to
have to break up.

223
00:10:12,799 --> 00:10:14,900
What are you
talking about?
224
00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:16,868
(clears throat)
Oh. (sighs)

225
00:10:18,904 --> 00:10:20,071
Einstein.

226
00:10:20,139 --> 00:10:23,107
Yeah, I'm going to need
a little more.

227
00:10:23,175 --> 00:10:25,544
Albert Einstein.

228
00:10:27,914 --> 00:10:30,182
Keep going.

229
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,552
When Albert Einstein came up
with special relativity,

230
00:10:32,619 --> 00:10:34,754
he was working at
the patent office.

231
00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:37,357
So, you're going to go work
at the patent office?

232
00:10:37,425 --> 00:10:38,925
Don't be absurd.

233
00:10:38,993 --> 00:10:40,393
That's in Washington.

234
00:10:40,461 --> 00:10:42,762
You know I could never live
in a city whose streets

235
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:44,730
are laid out in a
wheel-and-spoke pattern.

236
00:10:44,798 --> 00:10:46,632
No. I'm going to find
237
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,300
a similarly menial job

238
00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:51,402
where my basal ganglia are
occupied with a routine task,

239
00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:53,003
freeing my prefrontal cortex

240
00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,406
to work quietly in the
background on my problem.

241
00:10:56,775 --> 00:10:57,908
Sounds like a great plan.

242
00:10:57,976 --> 00:10:59,042
Of course it is.

243
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:00,377
Even talking to you is

244
00:11:00,445 --> 00:11:01,979
sufficiently menial
that I can feel

245
00:11:02,047 --> 00:11:03,614
the proverbial juices
starting to flow.

246
00:11:03,682 --> 00:11:06,384
Okay, well, thanks
for sharing with us.

247
00:11:06,452 --> 00:11:08,220
Good night.
You're welcome.

248
00:11:08,287 --> 00:11:09,922
And good night to you, too.

249
00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:11,390
(sighs)

250
00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:14,227
Oh, by the way, I was
watching you sleep for a moment,

251
00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:15,628
and I noticed that your snoring

252
00:11:15,696 --> 00:11:17,764
seems to be worse
when you're on your back.

253
00:11:17,832 --> 00:11:19,733
Leonard doesn't snore.

254
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:22,435
No, I wasn't talking to Leonard.

255
00:11:24,405 --> 00:11:26,873
Told you.

256
00:11:28,242 --> 00:11:31,911
So, Mr. Cooper, you're
looking for a job.

257
00:11:31,979 --> 00:11:34,213
A menial job.

258
00:11:34,281 --> 00:11:36,115
Like yours.

259
00:11:38,184 --> 00:11:40,452
Why, thank you for noticing.

260
00:11:41,654 --> 00:11:44,456
I'm "Menial Employee
of the Month."

261
00:11:45,658 --> 00:11:47,993
Do you have
a particular field in mind?

262
00:11:48,061 --> 00:11:49,294
I do.

263
00:11:49,362 --> 00:11:51,096
For thousands of years,
264
00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:52,965
the lowest classes
of the human race

265
00:11:53,032 --> 00:11:55,534
have spent their lives laboring
to erect monuments

266
00:11:55,602 --> 00:11:57,436
under the lash of their betters,

267
00:11:57,504 --> 00:11:58,637
until finally,

268
00:11:58,705 --> 00:12:00,038
they dropped down

269
00:12:00,106 --> 00:12:03,676
and became one with the dust
through which they trudged.

270
00:12:03,744 --> 00:12:06,145
Do you have anything like that?

271
00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:09,449
No.

272
00:12:09,517 --> 00:12:11,585
Shouldn't you check
your database?

273
00:12:13,888 --> 00:12:15,522
No.

274
00:12:18,293 --> 00:12:20,961
You didn't really type?

275
00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:24,297
I didn't really have to.

276
00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:26,332
So, how about
construction?

277
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,268
Oh, that would be good!

278
00:12:28,335 --> 00:12:31,671
Sawing, hammering,
eating out of a lunch pail

279
00:12:31,738 --> 00:12:33,939
as my working-class
fellows and I

280
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:36,041
sit perched precariously
on a girder

281
00:12:36,109 --> 00:12:38,143
high above the metropolis.

282
00:12:38,211 --> 00:12:41,580
No, no. This is
putting up sheetrock

283
00:12:41,648 --> 00:12:44,650
at a housing project
in Rosemead.

284
00:12:44,718 --> 00:12:46,152
I could do that.

285
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,587
Good.
One question.

286
00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:50,156
Yes?
What's sheetrock?

287
00:12:50,224 --> 00:12:52,059
Moving on.

288
00:12:53,228 --> 00:12:54,328
How about

289
00:12:54,396 --> 00:12:56,164
doing deliveries for a florist?

290
00:12:56,232 --> 00:12:57,832
That seems acceptable.

291
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,735
Do you have your own car?
I don't drive.

292
00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:02,937
Of course you don't.

293
00:13:04,173 --> 00:13:07,142
Mr. Cooper, let me
just ask you a question.

294
00:13:07,210 --> 00:13:08,843
What was your last job?

295
00:13:08,911 --> 00:13:11,379
Senior theoretical
particle physicist at CalTech,

296
00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:15,082
focusing on M theory, or, in
layman's terms, string theory.

297
00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:17,152
I see.

298
00:13:17,219 --> 00:13:19,153
Just give me a second.

299
00:13:23,025 --> 00:13:25,359
Security!

300
00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:34,100
Okay, I'll get those drinks
started for you.

301
00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:36,169
Behind you.

302
00:13:37,204 --> 00:13:39,405
Sheldon, what the hell
are you doing?

303
00:13:39,473 --> 00:13:41,541
I'm trying to get
these tables cleared.

304
00:13:41,609 --> 00:13:42,408
We're slammed.

305
00:13:43,444 --> 00:13:44,978
No, wait, wait,
no, wait.

306
00:13:45,045 --> 00:13:46,813
<i>Wh-What are you
doing here?</i>

307
00:13:46,881 --> 00:13:48,648
A reasonable question.

308
00:13:48,716 --> 00:13:51,117
I asked myself, what is
the most mind-numbing,

309
00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:53,019
pedestrian job conceivable,

310
00:13:53,087 --> 00:13:55,055
and three answers came to mind:

311
00:13:55,123 --> 00:13:57,824
uh, toll booth attendant,
Apple Store genius...

312
00:13:59,628 --> 00:14:01,562
...and what Penny does.

313
00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:02,730
Now...

314
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,766
since I don't like

315
00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:06,234
touching other people's coins,

316
00:14:06,302 --> 00:14:07,936
and I refuse to contribute
317
00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:10,605
to the devaluation
of the word "genius,"

318
00:14:10,673 --> 00:14:12,508
here I am.

319
00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:15,744
You just, you just walked in
and they hired you,

320
00:14:15,812 --> 00:14:16,779
just like that?

321
00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,380
Oh, heavens, no.

322
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:20,882
Since I don't need to be paid,
I didn't need to be hired.

323
00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:22,651
I simply came in,
picked up a tray,

324
00:14:22,719 --> 00:14:25,486
and started
"working for the man."

325
00:14:25,554 --> 00:14:25,620
Let me get that plate
out of your way.

326
00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:28,622
Sheldon,

327
00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:29,857
this is ridiculous.

328
00:14:29,924 --> 00:14:30,924
Is it?

329
00:14:30,992 --> 00:14:32,559
Just a moment ago,
I had a minor epiphany
330
00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:34,794
regarding the polymer
degradation phenomenon

331
00:14:34,862 --> 00:14:37,430
while scraping
congealed nachos off a plate.

332
00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:39,966
Bernadette, table 10
wants their check.

333
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:40,967
Thanks, Sheldon.

334
00:14:41,035 --> 00:14:41,968
Sheldon,

335
00:14:42,036 --> 00:14:43,169
wait, this isn't even what I do.

336
00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:45,105
I'm a waitress, not a busboy.

337
00:14:45,173 --> 00:14:47,708
You're right.
That is more menial.

338
00:14:47,776 --> 00:14:51,512
Hello, I'm Sheldon.
I'll be your server today.

339
00:14:52,614 --> 00:14:54,182
I don't recommend the salmon.

340
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,552
I saw it in the kitchen.

341
00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:02,758
All right,
one bacon cheeseburger,

342
00:15:02,826 --> 00:15:06,661
breaking two Jewish dietary
restrictions simultaneously-
343
00:15:06,729 --> 00:15:08,697
kudos.

344
00:15:08,764 --> 00:15:10,798
Beer-battered
fish and chips.

345
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,800
Now, here's your
tartar sauce.

346
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,368
I also brought you salsa.

347
00:15:14,436 --> 00:15:16,136
It's a little unconventional,
but I think you'll like it.

348
00:15:16,204 --> 00:15:17,838
It's zingy.

349
00:15:18,906 --> 00:15:21,741
And for you, Factory
Burrito Grande-

350
00:15:21,809 --> 00:15:23,576
no cheese,
no sour cream,

351
00:15:23,644 --> 00:15:26,680
no ugly consequences
from your lactose intolerance.

352
00:15:27,615 --> 00:15:29,616
Bon appétit.

353
00:15:29,684 --> 00:15:31,719
Hang on.

354
00:15:31,787 --> 00:15:32,754
Black beans, not pinto beans?

355
00:15:32,821 --> 00:15:33,755
Yes.

356
00:15:33,822 --> 00:15:35,056
Double guacamole?
Of course.

357
00:15:35,124 --> 00:15:36,224
No cilantro?
Nope.

358
00:15:36,292 --> 00:15:37,826
Lettuce shredded,
not chopped? Yep.

359
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,060
You understand
why I'm doing this to you?

360
00:15:39,128 --> 00:15:40,929
I do.
That'll be all.

361
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:45,066
That was fun.

362
00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:47,167
(laughter)

363
00:15:47,235 --> 00:15:49,170
How long can he keep this up?

364
00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:50,938
I heard about this
professor at MIT

365
00:15:51,006 --> 00:15:52,339
who melted down,
bought a van,

366
00:15:52,407 --> 00:15:55,008
and spent the rest of his life
as a mobile dog groomer.

367
00:15:55,076 --> 00:15:56,843
He never went back
to the university?

368
00:15:56,911 --> 00:16:00,046
Only to shampoo Professor
Shamburg's shih tzu.

369
00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:04,250
Sheesh.

370
00:16:04,318 --> 00:16:04,384
I bet if we all chipped in,
we could buy Sheldon a van.

371
00:16:08,589 --> 00:16:10,190
But he's afraid of dogs.

372
00:16:10,258 --> 00:16:12,893
Yeah, that's the only thing
wrong with that plan.

373
00:16:14,329 --> 00:16:17,898
Hey, guys, sorry you had
to wait, but we are swamped.

374
00:16:17,966 --> 00:16:19,267
What's this?

375
00:16:19,335 --> 00:16:21,035
Sheldon took our order.

376
00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:23,537
Sheldon doesn't work here.

377
00:16:23,605 --> 00:16:25,806
Well, honey, not to complain,

378
00:16:25,874 --> 00:16:28,710
but we were starting
to think you didn't either.

379
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,078
(crashing)

380
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:33,749
Is that really necessary?

381
00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:38,120
Good Lord.

382
00:16:38,188 --> 00:16:40,422
The interference pattern
in the fracture.

383
00:16:40,489 --> 00:16:41,890
The motion
of the wave

384
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,624
through the molecular structure.

385
00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:45,827
I've been looking
at it all wrong.

386
00:16:45,894 --> 00:16:48,295
I can't consider
the electrons as particles.

387
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:50,664
They move through the graphene
as a wave.

388
00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:54,567
It's a wave!

389
00:16:56,603 --> 00:16:59,305
The moment to applaud
would be now.

390
00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:03,008
Troglodytes.

391
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,110
Sheldon... where are you going?

392
00:17:05,178 --> 00:17:07,079
Aren't you going
to clean this up?

393
00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:09,148
I'm sorry. I don't work here.

394
00:17:11,751 --> 00:17:15,454
♪ ♪

395
00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,696
Happy now?
I'm on a cloud.

396
00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:26,965
Swing me.

397
00:17:27,032 --> 00:17:44,349
♪ ♪

398
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:52,130
Sheldon, come here.

399
00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,198
Bazinga.

400
00:18:01,507 --> 00:18:04,108
Bazinga.

401
00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:07,711
Bazinga.

402
00:18:08,914 --> 00:18:10,715
Bazinga.

403
00:18:13,351 --> 00:18:15,352
Bazinga!

404
00:18:15,419 --> 00:18:17,354
Transcript by Addic7ed.com