Inventors are not as important to society as doctors.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Being an inventor is often referred to as less important than being a doctor.

Inventors’ being less vital than medics is often considered as a unanimous fact
among ordinary people. However, this allegation/contention is highly
controversial due to the various factors that ought to be taken into account in
order to justify it. This essay will emphasize both on the reinvigorating ability of
medicine and on the technological advances, being the catalyst behind
human’s current development.

Para 1: Good introductory paragraph, although the opening statement is a bit

too absolute. Try and avoid “absolute statements”, and perhaps opt for a
Passive structure instead, e.g. it “Inventors are believed to be less important for
society than doctors by many people”. Technically, using “being” as the
opening word is a verb+ing structure, rather than “Inventors being”, so it could
start as “Being an Inventor is regarded by many as less important to society
than being a doctor”. In this structure we both have an “verb+ing” and
“passive” structure, which would have the examiner having a virtual academic
orgasm, but that’s just me wanting to be able to extract the maximum marks as
possible. However, the “Outline Statement” (3rd sentence) is very good, and is
how an Outline Statement should be written if someone is going to write one,
well done!

One the one hand, it is important that doctors be acknowledged for their key
role in people’s longevity and emotional health. For instance, it has not been
long since the first human heart transplant surgery was conducted, and ever
since that moment a myriad of men people have received a second chance for
life. Moreover, many professionals risking their lives for the common good,
such as firefighters, have benefited from the positive aftereffects of plastic
surgery. As a great number of them have experienced severe injuries and it is
due to plastic surgeons that they have regained their health and self-esteem.
99 words
Para 2: Good clear Topic sentence. Overall, it’s a good paragraph in terms of
structure and content as you have 2 clear main ideas. Your use of language is
good as is your use of “Linking words and Phrases”, which is important to
achieve a Band 8. Take notice of where I have added commas, as punctuation
is also assessed as the “coherence and cohesion” mark, which makes the
writing essay to read and understand for the reader.

It is due to the scientific minds, however, that today’s society is offered a more
comfortable way of life, which is full of numerous functional amenities. For
instance, Thomas Edison, often referred to as the father of modern electricity,
has contributed immensely to contemporary accommodations, by inventing
the incandescent light bulb, thus bringing light to homes around the globe.
Furthermore, pioneers such as Da Vinci have influenced the most, modern
means of transportation. With his extraordinary airborne inventions, he has
paved the way for the plethora of airplane companies, which in turn has highly
facilitated commuting.

Nevertheless, if not for the scientific pioneers, numerous of the contemporary

amenities would have not been created yet. In particular, Thomas Edison is the
epitome of the fast-thinking mind for the twentieth century, with thousands of
technological breakthroughs, including the incandescent light bulb, this genius
has immensely facilitated common people’s daily lives. Alternatively, people
would still be using firewood for heating and candle light to brighten their
dining rooms. 69 words

Para 3: The topic sentence is ok, but is almost a bit too academic in its style.
Remember, in General IELTS Task 2, the style should be suitable for most
people to read and understand, as opposed to the IELTS Academic Task 2,
which is aimed at a University Tutor or Examiner. Making it easy to read,
understand and follow, is 25% of the total marks. Also, the word count of 69
words is a lot less that then the word count of 99 words for Para 2, and so it
may suggest to the examiner a slight imbalance in the way the argument has
been presented. In any 2-sided essay, the 2 main body paragraphs should be
roughly equal as it demonstrates both sides of the argument have been treated
equally.
To summarize, both these vocations have a thriving impact on the society, from
people’s health to the conveniences in their homes. Therefore, I think it would
be impossible to differentiate them in the matter of their significance to human
life. 307 words

Para 4: Good concluding paragraph in terms of structure and content.