1

Sydney to Mumbai
Shantel Shandil
Student number: 11792535
Charles Sturt University

LIT221- Creative Writing

Stephen Mansfield
Date of submission: 18th August 2023
Word count short story: 1648
Word count critical analysis: 500
 2

Sydney to Mumbai
Priya strolled through the vibrant streets of Harris Park, Sydney, the air hummed with
the lively beats of Bollywood music, infusing every corner with an irresistible energy. The
tantalizing aroma of Indian spices danced on the breeze, beckoning to passers-by with the
allure of culinary delights. Priya’s heart swelled with a sense of belonging, her Indian roots
intertwining with the rich tapestry of Indian culture. The rhythmic melodies and fragrant
scents, a craving stirred within her, a whispered desire for the sweet indulgence of jalebi a
famous sticky Indian sweet, tempting her taste buds with its sweetness. As her long black hair
danced in the wind, Priya's heart filled with anticipation. Thoughts of home flooded her mind,
and a smile graced her lips as she whispered, "I can't wait to get home."

In Harris Park, there was an enchanting aura, where tradition seamlessly intertwined
with modernity. It was a place where the past and present coexisted harmoniously. The
vibrant colors of the shopfronts and the melodic sounds of Hindi and Punjabi created a
sensory haven. Priya felt a deep connection to this lively neighborhood, one that stirred her
soul and ignited her artistic spirit.

As Priya walked through the streets, she caught glimpses of a myriad of emotions in
the eyes of those around her. The laughter of children filled the air, spreading contagious joy.
Elderly groups gathered, sharing stories of their homeland, their narratives steeped in
nostalgia and resilience. It was a community united by shared experiences, a tapestry woven
with love, support, and cultural pride. Within Harris Park, Priya found solace and inspiration.
It was here that she discovered the power of storytelling through dance, using her graceful
movements to weave narratives. With each step, her feet carried the stories of her ancestors,
the struggles, and triumphs of generations past. Harris Park became her canvas, and the world
around her transformed into a stage where her dreams took flight.

Priya arrived at her home. The creaking of the front door echoed through the quiet
house, harmonizing with the gentle whispers of her dreams. The tantalizing aroma of spices
filled the air as Priya headed for the kitchen. Her mom's curry was a symphony of flavors, a
culinary masterpiece that always warmed her heart.
 3

"Ma, I want to pursue my dreams of becoming a Bollywood dancer," Priya declared

when she seen her mum, her voice brimming with determination. Mrs. Sharma paused, her
eyes reflecting a mix of concern and love. "Priya, you know how important our traditions are
to us. Dancing is not always seen as a respectable profession," she said, her voice filled with
a mother's worry.

"But Ma, dance is my life! It's the language through which I express my emotions and
connect with the world," Priya replied, her voice filled with unwavering conviction.

Mr. Sharma joined the conversation, his deep voice resonating with warmth and
support. "Priya, my dear, we want nothing more than to see you happy. If dance brings you
joy, then pursue it with all your heart. We will stand by you every step of the way," he said,
his eyes brimming with pride.

Priya's heart swelled with excitement as she embraced her parents, passing them a
carefully written note. The words danced across the paper, announcing the grand event that
awaited her: "Bollywood Talent Night at the Sydney Blacktown Leisure Centre." This
televised extravaganza would showcase her talents, broadcasting her performance to the
world from the vibrant land of Australia. It was an opportunity for Priya to shine and share
her gift with a global audience.

As the sun began its descent, casting a warm golden hue over the city of Sydney,
Priya stood poised on the grand stage. The anticipation in the air was palpable, as if time
itself held its breath, awaiting the unveiling of a mesmerizing performance. The curtains
slowly rose, revealing a breathtaking set adorned with vibrant colors and intricate patterns,
reminiscent of a tapestry woven with the threads of countless stories. The audience, like a sea
of eager souls, leaned forward in their seats, their eyes fixed on Priya, the enigmatic dancer
who held their hearts in her delicate hands. With the first notes of music, a symphony of
emotions swirled within Priya's being. Her body, an instrument finely tuned through years of
dedication and discipline, moved with a grace that seemed to defy gravity. Each step, each
gesture, was infused with a profound depth of feeling, as if she were channeling the very
essence of the human experience. As she danced, the audience became lost in a world of
enchantment. They were transported to distant lands, where ancient tales unfolded before
 4

their eyes. Through her movements, Priya painted vivid pictures of love, loss, and triumph,
weaving a narrative that resonated deep within their souls. In that moment, as the final notes
of music filled the air, Priya stood before the audience, her breath mingling with the
collective gasp of awe and admiration. The stage had become her sanctuary, a sacred space
where she could express the depths of her being, and in doing so, inspire others to embrace
their own unique journey.

As the applause roared through the theater, Priya knew she had discovered her
purpose. She had become a vessel for the power of art, a guiding light in a world craving
soul-stirring story. With every performance, her graceful movements would continue to paint
the canvas of life, leaving an unforgettable mark on the hearts of all who witnessed her dance.
Standing on the grand stage, bathed in the fading notes of music, Priya basked in the
thunderous applause that engulfed the theatre. The audience's adoration embraced her like a
warm hug, their appreciation etched upon their faces. Amidst the resounding ovation, Priya's
heart fluttered with a mix of emotions. She had poured her soul into this performance, and
now, her dedication and talent had been recognized. It was a moment of triumph, a testament
to her unwavering commitment to her craft.

But as the applause subsided, a sense of restlessness tugged at Priya's spirit. A call
from India had beckoned her, a call that carried the promise of an extraordinary opportunity.
It was an invitation to dance in a Bollywood movie, a chance to showcase her art on an even
grander stage. With a mixture of excitement and nostalgia, Priya bid farewell to the theatre
that had become her second home. As she made her way to the airport, the memories of
countless performances danced in her mind, each one a steppingstone towards this new
chapter in her life. In the quiet solitude of the airport lounge, Priya pondered the journey that
lay ahead. The rhythmic hum of conversations and the distant sound of planes taking flight
provided a backdrop to her introspection. She couldn't help but feel a blend of anticipation
and a touch of melancholy, knowing that she was leaving behind a place that had witnessed
her growth and transformation.

Priya's mom hugged her tightly, her eyes filled with both pride and a hint of sadness.
"Remember, my dear, follow your dreams and shine bright like a star," she whispered, her
voice filled with love.
 5

Her dad, trying to hide his emotions, gave her a reassuring smile. "Make us proud,
Priya. We'll be cheering for you every step of the way," he said, his voice filled with
unwavering support.

Her younger brother, with a mischievous grin, chimed in, "Don't forget to send us lots
of pictures and videos, Priya! We'll be your biggest fans!"

As Priya waved goodbye, tears glistening in her eyes, she knew that no matter how far
she travelled, her family's love would always be with her, guiding her on this incredible
journey. Lost in her thoughts, Priya's gaze fell upon a fellow traveler, a wise-looking elderly
man sitting next to her. His eyes held a twinkle of curiosity, as if he carried a wealth of stories
within him. Intrigued, Priya struck up a conversation, sharing her dreams and aspirations.

"Life is a tapestry of moments, my dear," the man said, his voice carrying a gentle
wisdom. "Embrace the opportunities that come your way, for they are the threads that weave
the fabric of your existence. Dance with passion and let your spirit soar."

His words resonated deep within Priya's being, reaffirming her path and igniting a
renewed sense of purpose. With gratitude in her heart, she bid farewell to the kind stranger,
carrying his words as a guiding light on her journey. As she settled into her seat, Priya
couldn't help but imagine the swarming streets of Mumbai, the energetic choreography, and
the infectious rhythm of Bollywood music. She knew that this journey would not only be a
dance of the body but a dance of the soul, a chance to immerse herself in the rich tapestry of
Indian culture. And so, as the plane soared into the boundless sky, Priya couldn't help but feel
a surge of excitement. She was embarking on an adventure that would take her to the vibrant
world of Bollywood, where dreams come alive in a symphony of colors and emotions. With
each passing mile, Priya's anticipation grew. She envisioned herself twirling in graceful arcs,
her movements telling stories of love, passion, and resilience. The thought of collaborating
with talented actors, choreographers, and directors filled her with a sense of awe and
gratitude.

As Priya's plane gracefully descended onto Mumbai, she felt a whirlwind of emotions. The
airport, adorned with the tantalizing fragrances of curry and Indian sweets, evoked a
 6

profound sense of her hometown, the voices of fellow Indians conversing in their native
tongue filled the air, like a melodic chorus celebrating the rich diversity of the land. With
determination shining in her eyes and a spirit poised to ascend, she embarked upon her
Bollywood adventure, ready to script her own narrative and dance to the rhythm of her

destiny.

Critical Analysis

The idea for my story "Sydney to Mumbai" came from a real-life experience when I went to a
restaurant in Harris Park. I was sitting next to a family of four, and their little girl who looked
about 10 years old was whining to her parents about wanting to go to a dance school and in
the end her older sister convinced the parents to let her go and they celebrated with a jalebi
each.

As a beginner writer, I struggled to find a starting point and didn't know where to begin. But
as I went through each of our weekly modules, I realized that everything I needed to create a
prose fiction story was right there. The setting of my story was inspired by the vibrant setting
of Harris Park, Sydney. My story starts off with the energetic beats of Bollywood music and
the scents of Indian food in the air as when u go to the main street in Harris Park Sydney its
literally how I described and I wanted to capture its essence in my story. By using multiple
voices and vivid descriptions, I aimed to immerse the reader in the rich cultural tapestry of
the place. I wanted them to feel as if they were right there, experiencing the aroma of Indian
spices and the sense of belonging that permeates the air.
 7

By incorporating multiple voices, vivid descriptions, and cultural influences, I aimed to

transport readers into a rich and immersive narrative. As a beginner writer, my goal is to
continuously enhance my storytelling skills by further developing my characters and
experimenting with various techniques. Inspired by Kate Grenville's ideas, I aligned Priya's
journey with her emphasis on vivid descriptions and multiple voices, allowing readers to fully
immerse themselves in the vibrant tapestry of culture. Moreover, Priya's craving for jalebi
serves as a reflection of Grenville's skillful use of sensory details to evoke emotions in
readers. It's all about creating a captivating and sensory experience through words!
One aspect that stood out in my story was the seamless integration of cultural influences. I
wanted to highlight the beauty and diversity of both Sydney and Mumbai by fusing their
flavors, traditions, and experiences. By exploring food, language, and customs, I aimed to
showcase the richness of these two locations and foster a sense of connection and
understanding among readers from different backgrounds.

In terms of improvement, I believe there's room for further exploration in the development of
secondary characters. By delving deeper into their backgrounds, personalities, and
relationships, we can understand their impact on the overall story. Additionally, describing
characters in more vivid detail will help readers form stronger connections with them. Adding
inner thoughts and reflections can provide insight into their emotions and motivations,
making them more relatable and engaging. Moreover, incorporating meaningful and dynamic
dialogues will enhance the interactions between characters, allowing for more engaging
storytelling. Lastly, by exploring each character's unique perspective, experiences, and
growth, I could create a richer narrative that captivates readers.

Grenville, K. (2011). The writing book : A practical guide for fiction writers. Allen & Unwin.