Perfectly in Pieces

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/32723953.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Category: F/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationship: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Character: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Ginny Weasley, Ron
Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle |
Voldemort, Antonin Dolohov, Neville Longbottom, Daphne Greengrass,
Fenrir Greyback, Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Padma Patil, Alecto Carrow,
Amycus Carrow, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Aberforth Dumbledore, Minerva
McGonagall, Dean Thomas
Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut,
Violence, Self-Harm, Rape/Non-con Elements, Pining Draco Malfoy,
Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Loss of Virginity, War, Alternate
Universe - Voldemort Wins, Alternate Universe - Dark, Eventual
Romance, Slow Burn, Mirror Sex, Marking, Oral Sex, Rough Sex,
Childhood Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Physical Abuse, Sexual
Abuse, Healing, Healing Sex, Memory Loss, Villains, Morally Grey
Hermione Granger, Explicit Language, Alternate Universe - Canon
Divergence, Angst, Dirty Talk, Tags May Change, Character Death,
Masturbation, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Therapy, POV
Draco Malfoy, POV Hermione Granger, POV Theodore Nott, POV Ron
Weasley, Canon Rewrite, Sexual Roleplay, POV Ginny Weasley,
NSFW Art
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Perfectly in Pieces Universe
Collections: Elite Dramione, Subs_active, I Can’t Have 100+ Tabs Open.,
Old_phone_tbr_2021Katie, WIP Dramione Masterlist, Best Dramione
(WIP), Need_to_read_dramione, Thigh clenching Hermione pairings,
Ongoing fic, Alysoun's TBR Pile, Dramione to Read, really unbeatable
dramione, To Read - MB, Dramione I've Finished, slow-burn well written
dramione GEMS , Dramione Always, I want to read this, Best Dramione,
Reread for a Dose of Serotonin, dramione i'll read soon, Dramione re-
reads , Fav Dramione fics, draco + hermione <3, My (infinite)
Dramione TBR, Vivvy’s hp must reads, dramoine , Dramione
Obsessed, Completed Fics I Love, top recs, these have my heart,
Crème de la crème of Harry Potter ff, être lu, BellsVS Completed Fics
to Read, Harry Potter, Dramione_Favs, Dramione wins my heart, BEST
of the BEST dramione, Dramione re-reads, BIS Dramione, Dramione to
Die For, I'll read these eventually, Hermione fics that make my chest
hurt, Dramione TBR, To be read my Dramione, Dramione that slays,
holy crap dramione is hot, JJ Need to Read, Fav Dramiones,
musichappens' fandom library , Dramione_faves_of_J,
feral_blondie_tbr, Draco & Hermione (Top-Tier), Dramione fanfics that
NEED to be read, To all the fics I've read before, Dramione feat.
Complete Cast of Slytherin Babies
Stats: Published: 2021-07-21 Completed: 2022-06-27 Words: 556,730
Chapters: 65/65
 Perfectly in Pieces
by CDLynn

Summary

A Golden Girl missing.

A Slytherin Prince trapped.
An Order holding secrets.
And a Dark Lord ruling.

Warning: Dark AU (not dark main character) with deep discussions of trauma caused by
physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

This fic starts out in the midst of the darkness, and shows the trauma, and healing journeys
of each character as they fight to keep as much of themselves as possible, in a world trying
to take it all.

(The rape is not between Draco and Hermione)

Notes

Translation into Português (Wattpad):

Perfectly in Pieces | Dramione by moonletterss

Translation into Russian:

Вдребезги (Perfectly in Pieces) & Вдребезги (Perfectly in Pieces) by Anne de Beyle

Translation into Deutsch:

Perfectly in Pierces by Smj1312

Translation into Español:

PERFECTAMENTE EN PEDAZOS by t3malfoy

Perfectly in Pieces Inspirations:

- The Auction by Lovesbitca8
- Cruel and Beautiful World by Lena Phoria
- Manacled by senlinyu
- The Fallout by everythursday

Author’s note: Trigger warnings, marked areas, and even summaries are given during
chapters to ensure you as a reader can take care of your mental health. They are placed at
the end of each chapter in the notes.

Updated Policy:
I give permission for PIP and any of my other projects to be bound solely for personal use
or gifted. Book binding commissions are not allowed. This story was given as a gift to
others, I expect it to be treated in the same manner. Thank you.
 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

"Shit."
Why does the Floo have to be so loud? How has no one invented a Floo system that has the option
to not create the most irritating popping noise in the whole wizarding world? Or a quieter noise, at
least.

Theo had this same thought every time he flooed back to his childhood home.

He steps gently out of the fireplace and hears the echo of the pop travel through the expansive
hallways.

He stands there for a moment, holding his breath.

Just listening.

Waiting.

Empty.

Quiet.

"Thank Merlin." He whispers. He takes off both shoes to ensure he doesn't make a sound and starts
to walk quickly to his wing of the manor.

If I can make it to my rooms. That is the goal.

His father hadn't been to his wing in years.

He climbs the stairs, staying to the right side up 12 steps, then leaping to the railing edge for the
next 3, then close to the right again for the final few steps left. He turns right, trying to stay in the
shadows, and keeps his eyes on the floor and ears open.

"The disgrace is back."

"Are you sure? With him in the shadows, and with his new demeanor, I for a moment thought it
was his bitch of a mother."

"Pff to see our line be placed into the hands of a boy who..."

"Always a pleasure Archibald, Francis, Theodore." Theo tips his head at the portraits of his
relatives and then quirks it to the left to keep his curling brown hair out of his vision. Something
that became a tick of his over the past few months as his hair grew longer than he ever had it
before. The curls were a bit out of control. Usually, at a shorter length, they would stay put. But at
this length, with them resting on the arch of his neck and at the beginning of his nose, the buggers
got in the way constantly.

They were becoming a problem.

Especially during their last mission while waiting out the appearance of the most recent Order safe
house lead. As he, Blaise, and Draco lay close to the ground with a disillusionment spell wrapped
around them, Blaise had shot him right in the eye with one of Pansy's green hair elastics.
"Shit! Ouch. What was that for?"

"If you don't pull those curls back, they will be the death of you. And if that is the case, I will
ensure to place 'Theodore Nott: Son, Friend, and only Death Eater to die by hair' on your
name plaque in the family mausoleum." Blaise whispered in a fake serious tone.

He scoffed.

"It's funny you think my father would allow my body to be placed in the family mausoleum," Theo
responded darkly, rubbing his watering eye. He was not in the mood for Blaise's humor.

"True." Blaise agreed as he stretched his arms out in front of him into the dew-wet grass. They had
been lying on that damn hill all night. At least 10 hours. No Order safe house or human appeared.

It was the same assignment, just a different place for the last 6 months since the Battle of
Hogwarts. They were to follow the address of the given lead and see if it was true or false. If this
lead was valid, Blaise was in charge of mobilizing the closest Death Eaters to the location by
apparition. Draco was in charge of keeping his eyes solely on the environment to use for the
records later by sharing the memory via the Pensieve, and Theo was in charge of maintaining the
disillusionment charm in place. It had been a long time since one of their leads had been accurate,
no complaint from Theo. He added those nights into his memory bank for effective nightmares to
ensure he never would sleep well again. That memory bank was overflowing at this point. He had
no desire to add another anytime soon.

"Seriously though, you should cut those springs off soon, or you may be mistaken for the missing
Golden Girl and get yourself into a whole different shit of a mess."

Even the crickets went silent at Blaise's words. Theo saw through his peripheral the man to his
right stop breathing, his eyes stared straight ahead, but Theo watched as they slowly turned blank,
lifeless.

Well, more lifeless than usual.

"Really, Blaise? You think that's funny?" Theo turned his gaze to the clueless man to his left.

Blaise was good for a lot of things. Mixing drinks, keeping Pansy under control, snoring so loud
that a silencing charm was needed to be in the same building as him, being in charge of their
gambling nights, and most consistently, missing social cues and being clueless to those around him.

Blaise shrugged nonchalantly, not concerned with the words he just said, and even had the bollocks
to open his mouth and continue, "What, it's true. The longer it gets, the more Granger mane it
becomes. Well, at least what her hair used to look like. Who knows anymore. I heard a rumor that
she was mauled by the werewolves and that Greyback cut it all off and made it into some kind of
scarf. He calls it his lion mane. Or there's the rumor that Bellatrix has her hanging by that frizzy
mess from the drawing ro..."

And that is how Blaise got a fat lip. And how Theo had received a black eye from a poorly placed
left hook in retaliation. Missing the culprit to his right that had given Blaise the fat lip in the first
place.

"Seriously!? The same damn eye too!" Theo exclaimed as he once again covered his eye.

Blaise nursed his left hand and wiped away the growing trail of blood from the corner of his mouth
with his elbow.
"Sorry, Theo. But what the hell, Frosty!? What was that for?" Blaise said in a voice too loud for
their current situation.

"Shit, keep your voice down, Zabini! Actually, better yet, how about you don't open your mouth
again?" Theo said as he looked over at the tosser with his one good eye. Trying to show him with a
look how much easier or harder he could make the next few hours with how he responded at that
moment.

Blaise looked up at him, clearly not understanding why he was just punched in the mouth, but with
a quick glance to the man at the end who was once again staring straight ahead, not even looking
down at his newly bruised knuckles, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Smart man. Well, kind of.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours. Watching the sun trying to push through the engulfing
dark clouds overhead. Theo went back to the regular mind game he played during these long nights
of boredom; he started listing off complex potions, spells, and recipes as accurately as possible. He
would check when he got back home. He tried to stick to the subject of healing as they were the
ones he thought would be most helpful in their current environment.

He was very good at it. He had been offered an internship with Pomfrey during his 6th year in the
infirmary to work alongside her and learn more about the craft after successfully ensuring Draco's
wounds from Potter didn't kill him before she could get to him. She had praised him for his work
as his hands shook, creating little pools of his best friend's blood on the stone floor. He was used to
handling his own blood, but not others. He actually hated blood. Hated how sticky it was. How it
got into every crack and crevice and was extremely hard to get off. He had learned sometimes it
was easiest to just wait until it had hardened before trying. It was all too intimate for him.

"This lead is dead. We've been staring at a field for 12 hours." Draco said the first words he had
spoken since they started the mission.

"I think you're right. Where did this lead come from?"

"Not sure. Was never told."

So Draco was still not in the Dark Lord's good graces.

"Whose turn is it?" Theo changed positions and straightened his back, leading to several cracks up
his spine. These stake-out missions were getting old.

"Blaise."

"What? No, it's not. I literally did it last mission, fell down that damn cavern, and..."

"Blaise, now." Draco never looked his way.

"Who made you in charge, huh?"

Theo began to roll his eyes until a stab of pain went up to his swelling shiner. So he rolled one.
"Blaise, just go so we can get out of here."

Blaise stared at Theo for a moment before mumbling a group of profanities under his breath and
standing up. Theo watched as he tried to keep a shoddy disillusionment charm on himself as he
trudged up the hill where the Order safe house was supposed to be.
"Third dead end in a row."

He said as he stared ahead, watching Blaise stumble in an area of the field that was much wetter
than it looked. The bottom half of his body disappeared into the tall grass as his arms flailed to
keep his other half upright.

"Shi!.." Blaise disappeared.

"Yes." That was all Draco said. A couple of silent seconds went by as Blaise recovered and
continued to scout the area.

"So... the Greyback rumor is... new." Theo was treading on thin ice. And his hesitant tone showed
he knew it. There was no response. "Do we need a plan?"

Theo saw Draco's eyes change just a fraction, and his hand twitched, so Theo waited. Knowing the
signs of the man next to him like he knew his own. He watched as Draco let out a breath. A long
breath that released some of the tension in his shoulders and made his face softer.

"We'll talk after the lead deliberation today."

Theo shook his head once in agreement.

"Okay, are you coming straight after? Or has the Dark Lord requested your presence for tonight?"

"No."

Blaise made his way back to them. And the look of fury he gave Draco was almost as memorable
as the sludge he was covered in. Almost.

"You both owe me scout rounds for the next 4 fucking missions!" He said as he waved his wand
and quickly cast a scourgify to remove his fall's remnants in the marsh. "I mean it, you arseholes."

Theo looked over at Draco as he pulled out a cigarette and handed the pack over to the tall blonde.

"I give him a 6 for the try of recovery and an 8 for the splash."

Draco snickered under a small huff of air as he placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it with
wordless magic.

"Nah, the cavern drop was an 8. That lil' pirouette I give a 7 at best."

He throws the cigarette pack into Blaise's chest.

"I hate you both so much." He muttered as he gingerly placed one in the corner of his mouth that
didn't showcase a swelling gash.

"You could always request to be placed with our fathers. I hear they are a delight to work with.
What with all the raiding, and torture, and oh don't forget genocide!" Theo said, filled with satire as
he played with the smoke rings he made.

"Sounds like a party," Blaise mumbled. "At the rate these leads are going, we will probably end up
on the receiving end of your dear ole' dads sooner than later. What is this the third dead-end lead in
a row?"

The only form of acknowledgment was a slight nod from the blonde to his left. Theo took a long
inhale and held it in the back of his throat. Feeling for a second a small amount of control.
That was his favorite part about cigarettes. Not the nicotine, but the smoke. He loved the control
he had over it. He loved maneuvering it, shaping it, holding it, creating it. He believed himself an
artist due to the things he could do with that little stick in his mouth alight. The smoke, the control,
that was the addiction.

But like all addictions, it was short-lived. The smoke began to dissipate in the organic and
chemical reaction of the fluid and space in his throat.

He tried to hold on to it.

Keep it his captive.

Cage it.

But it was all smoke in the first place, his control. He opened his mouth and coughed slightly. The
tears stung his black eye.
"It's not our fault that these leads are shit. We are doing our job laying on these damn hills, hiding
behind rocks, or leaning up against trees for days on end in shitty, rainy weather." Blaise let out
small gusts of smoke in his frustration. "Merlin, I need a night with a hot shower, a shepherd's pie,
and my bed. I miss my bed."

"You miss Pansy." Draco quirked.

"I miss Pansy in all of the above. In a shower, in a bed..."

"In a shepherd's pie? Come on, Blaise, I know you two are kinky, and we are henchmen of the
evilest Dark Lord to ever face the wizarding world, but that is a little too far in even my book."
Theo laughed at himself.

Merlin, I'm hilarious .

"I was going to say, in my bed with shepherd's pie covering some fascinating places arsehole.
Which we have done, by the way. Not to take away your innocence." He triumphantly gawks at
Theo. "What was the 'lil quip in our house the last few years? Oh yes, Theo Nott, the only Head
Boy to never receive head!"

Blaise fake saluted him with his middle finger as he said the words.

"Didn't ever get to be given Head Boy, thanks to our forever powerful Dark Lord," Theo mumbled
as he flipped his head to the left to move those blasted brown curls out of his eyes. It was more
irritating with the now wounded one.

"Oh, come on, we all know you would have been. Draco here tried to give you a run for your
money, but with the whole order to kill one of the most powerful wizards in history during 6th year
making him preoccupied, you pulled ahead." Blaise tried to use wordless magic on the gash on his
lip, but it stayed put. "Just think of all the fun we would have had visiting you. Raiding your fridge
and eating all that expensive imported shit you love, gambling nights in the common area,
throwing up on that hideous rug you say shows you have taste. Oh, and don't forget the best part!
Driving Gryffindor's Princess insane. Seriously, I can imagine her face seeing us all playing strip
poker in your common area or shaving that hideous kneazle of hers. Or switching out her shampoo
with some color-changing dye from the joke shop. Or making up some quip about how the Head
Girl wasn't any good at giv..."

"Enough."

Both Theo and Blaise looked towards Draco. His head was bowed, and his eyes were closed.

Blaise really could be a prick sometimes.

"If you're finished, I can apparate us to the scouting barracks and then leave you from there to take
care of the liaison and paperwork."

Draco was all business now. The tension was back in his shoulders; his breaths came far too short
and far too few. And his grey eyes were lifeless again.

"Zabini, you were requested to stay as the middleman for the scouts' sector to represent the unit."

He handed him a letter with the paperwork. Blaise inhaled slowly, all the exhaustion he held in
coming into view.

"Great. That means I have to deal with Flint. And tiny beds. And Flint. And water they call soup.
And moans and groans all night from the infirmary. And cold water showers. And oh, did I
mention? Flint."

"Pansy is there as well."

Blaise's whole demeanor changed in an instant.

"Well, why didn't you bloody say so!? Why are we shitting around smoking here when I could be
getting laid? Let's go." Blaise placed his arm on Draco's, quickly grabbed Theo's, and placed it on
Draco's other arm, making Theo flinch slightly and a weight press against his chest.

"You can stay and watch if you like Nott. Give you some pointers."

Theo dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. "Not a food kink kind of guy, Zabini.
You enjoy your shepherd's pie."

"See, saying things like that just shows you are a virgin, Nott. Merlin's sake, you even say kink
wrong. Have you ever even..."

The swirl and intense sensation of Draco apparating them thankfully drowned out the rest of
Blaise's sentence.

Theo reaches the door to his rooms without hearing another sound from the house. It had been 2
weeks since the last time he had been home. Gone with Draco and following up on gossip and
information. He opens his door and enters his section of the manor.

It is a collection of 11 rooms he had renovated to make his own little house inside the manor. The
only entrance was the one door he had just walked through, and the floo fireplace in his bedroom
only allowed his small group of trusted snakes in.

These 11 rooms are his safe space.

3 bedrooms, a kitchen, a game room, 2 bathrooms, a balcony, a library, a sitting room, an office,
and the entry room where he places his Death Eater robes in the wardrobe by the door.

He takes a deep breath, feeling exhausted after another night with no sleep, and decides to see the
damage done to his eye. He makes his way to the ensuite bathroom attached to his private
bedroom.

The room matches the exquisite tastes of the rest of the small home within a home. What Blaise
consistently calls gaudy, tacky, old-lady-tits-of-a-style, Theo loves. Yes, everything has a pattern.
There is embroidery on every piece of fabric within the space in dark maroons, greens, and tans.
The many pieces of furniture that take up most of the area are all victorian style and grandiose. He
feels like a king in every single one of them. He loves that little lie of a feeling.

But what he cherishes the most, and what his friends despise regularly, are his priceless historical
artifacts they call knick-knacks that make the space feel more like a museum than a home. Or a
glimpse into the mind of an extreme hoarder, as Blaise liked to put it. Theo would always just roll
his eyes.

Why in the world would I ever be affected by the opinion of someone who owns a bean bag for
furniture and proudly?

He has been collecting artifacts, publications, artwork, and transcriptions for as long as he can
remember, and he knows the history of every piece in his little oasis. Like he knows the last piece
Blaise broke during a game of 'how many times can I throw my ball into the same stain on the
ceiling' was a one-of-a-kind, charmed musical box that held the original sound of the first Hat
Sorting taking place at Hogwarts. It was priceless and now gone forever. Every time, Theo would
magically create a plaque for the lost artifact, trying to preserve its place in history as much as
possible.

'The Bedillion Charmed Music Box, holding the original sound of the first-ever Hat Sorting
taking place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Destroyed by Blaise Zabini
and his balls.'

There are currently 22 plaques sitting in spots as ghosts of the Zabini-destroyed-exceptional

artifacts. Sure maybe it would be nice to add a few more rooms to help make the area more
spacious, but he didn't even have the time to cast and create a hair cutting spell nowadays. When
would he find the time to magically enhance his rooms, again? He looks around discreetly as he
walks. Nothing has been touched. Of course not. Not even the house elves are allowed in these
rooms. He stands in front of the large vanity in his bathroom and slowly looks up.

Fuck I do look like my mother. Francis wasn't lying.

Even though he was all over the globe the last two weeks, his face doesn't even have a 5 o'clock
shadow. He couldn't grow facial hair to save his life even now at 19. He could sign his existence
and entire body over to the darkest wizard that ever was but couldn't grow a beard.

Oh, the irony.

In 6th year, Adrian Pucey had come back sporting a very impressive, and not patchy at all, beard. It
surprised him and also made him highly envious. So he had tried to create a potion to help him
with his facial hair growth. It had gone horribly wrong. Instead of allowing the follicles around his
mouth and chin to grow, it enhanced the hair follicles already there. His eyebrows took over his
whole forehead extending into his actual hairline. And his eyelashes were 5 inches long (yes, they
actually measured them) before he went to the infirmary to have Pomfrey countercurse his potion.

All this to say, he had a babyface. Always had, always would, he supposed. It gave him a look of
slight feminism, not helping with all the other associations he has from his mother.

He has her olive-green eyes that were soft and wide, her wispy brown hair that curled as it got
longer, her a shade darker than pale skin tone that still showed the hues of color when flushed, and
the small patch of freckles at the base of his neck. All his mother. At least that's what the pictures
show.

And the fact that his father was almost the opposite of him in every way. He is glad he looks like
his mother. She was beautiful. And he was average-looking himself. That is, he was before he had
gotten that damn mark on his arm. Now he was paler. He had gained weight as his stress levels
increased, unlike others he knew, like Daphne Greengrass, who seemed to be trying to disappear
with her weight loss caused by the stress of the world they were placed in. The dark purple under
his eyes made his green eyes look dull, faded. He breaks eye contact with himself and grabs his
wand.

"Accio healer kit." A large leather bag floats into the bathroom and lands on the vanity. He opens it
and starts to look for the few things he needs to heal his eye. It was nothing serious. Some Bruise
Removal Paste, a Deflating Draught, and a hot compress would probably do the trick. He looks to
the back left pocket and finds the jar empty.

"Shit..." He says under his breath. "Shit." He repeats it as he wishes he could make the Deflating
Draught appear with his frustration alone.

He knew where he could refill his bottle. It really wasn't smart of him to have these supplies empty.
Draco would have been dead 6th year and at the Battle of Hogwarts if they were. But the idea of
leaving his safety and crossing to the other side of the manor...

"Shit."

He looks through the rest of the bag and sees which other supplies he should grab while in his
father's potion room. He makes a mental checklist of the four other reserves he should fill, leaves
the bathroom, and walks towards the door.

His hand twitches on the handle.

Damn it, get it together, Theo. You have been bigger than him and more intelligent than him since
you were 14. Plus, no one is here. You didn't hear a sound walking up here. You know when father
is home, there are always sounds.

He slowly opens the door handle, listens again for a few moments before convincing himself of his
little pep talk, and quietly starts down the hallway.

189 steps.

That's how many it would take to get to the potion room. Steps 111 through 164 were the ones
with the track record of being the most dangerous.

He was on 67... 68... 69... now.

Still not a noise.

He isn't home. He has a meeting tonight at Malfoy Manor, you know this. Just calm down.

His body doesn't listen to him. No matter how hard he tries, his lungs refuse to expand, and his
heart rate refuses to slow down.

109... 110... 111...

Shit, his eye doesn't hurt that bad. He has undoubtedly dealt with way worse and survived. He
should just go back to his room. Yes, just use a hot towel and some disinfectant.

135... 136... 137...

He sees that his father's study door is wide open, but the lights are off. Yes, the devil isn't home.

"Thank Merlin." He whispers under his breath as he reaches step 165.

Only a few more before he could open the potion room and be safe again. He lets some of the
tension out of his shoulders and stands taller as he walks with more confidence and less fear. He
really should also grab some murtlap, not that he was low, but better to...

"AGH!"

Theo stops in his tracks. He is frozen only a few feet away from his destination. What was that? He
stands waiting.

Quite.

Alone.

He is convinced that his mind made up the sound. It had the tendency to do some crazy shit every
once in a while, and he hadn't slept in three nights, so it was plausible.

Yeah, it's just your shitty-smart-as-hell brain convincing you that you are dying. Nothing out of the
ordinary for you, Theo boy...

"No... Please no... Sto, sto, stoooppp... No, noo, no, no AGH!"

The screams are coming from behind him. Theo closes his eyes as he turns and listens again. He
can hear what sounds like a weight sliding and something pounding against the wall to his left.

Shit, not to the left...

He hears a loud sound that is all too familiar to be anything other than a hand hitting flesh. He
flinches as a short, weak noise leaves the victim. Now only soft whimpers are leaving her.

Her.

Yes, it is definitely a female.

He took her to the left room...

Theo can feel the bile coming up his throat as he sinks into the shadows of the hallway and listens
to the sounds of his father brutalizing a woman. Amongst the intense feeling of horror and disgust
comes confusion. His father never brings his women to the left room. Why this one? He also may
have been harder on his lovers; Theo had some unfortunate experiences of hearing his father in the
act, and while there were some smacking noises and whimpers, they always had an edge of
pleasure to them, more of a moan. These screams are blood-curdling. Full of deep pain and turmoil
he also has unfortunately become accustomed to over the years.
All of a sudden, the noises stop. His father must have put a silencing charm up around the room...

"You bitch!" A sudden thud against something. He kicked her, no doubt.

Shit, his father was leaving, and he was standing here like an absolute idiot in the hallway, right in
his line of fire. Theo quickly runs back into the main entryway and positions himself as if he just
came through the floo. His mind isn't even thinking at this point. His body is just reacting,
surviving. He takes a few steps and pretends to wipe off the dust from the front of his robes as his
father comes around the corner. They both look up, make eye contact, and just stare.

And the weight begins to press harder and harder.

Theo sees his clothes are still disheveled and bloody as he tries to tuck things back into place.
What is left of his head of hair is all in wild points and lines. But what is most noticeable is his ear.
It is bleeding a lot. Theo can't be sure from this distance, but he thinks that it suddenly looks much
smaller than his other one...

Theo's father quickly raises his hand and covers the evidence.

"Theo."

"Father."

They continue to stare. The weight continues to press.

"Another dead end, I presume?" It really isn't a question, so Theo doesn't answer it.

"Why is your ear bleeding?"

His father lets out an angry huff of breath and fists his other hand against his side. His knuckles are
bruised and bloody.

Whose blood is it?

"I got myself a new toy." He said in almost a whisper, his mind clearly going elsewhere already.
Whatever the new 'toy' was, it was obviously not very appealing to him. "Feel free to use it as you
see fit. Just keep it alive. Dark Lord's orders."

He pauses to tear the bottom of his dress shirt and place the cloth on the damaged ear. "As long as
you don't mind being tunnel buddies with your old man."

Tunnel buddies? What the hell does that mean?

Theo nods his head in acknowledgment. His father nods back and starts to walk towards the section
of the manor holding his rooms, to change is Theo's guess.

"My new mission begins tonight after the meeting. I will be gone until the Mudbloods are
exterminated from the Scandinavian area."
He says this like he is going out to pick up a carton of milk.

"Of course, father. Best of luck."

His father doesn't turn around at his words but scoffs at the air in front of him. Thankfully, he is
tired, or this altercation probably would have gone much differently.

Theo waits for his father to turn the corner before running back into his rooms. As he shuts the
door behind him, he falls to the floor.

He can't breathe.

He can hear his heart in his ears like the Hogwarts Express coming down the line.

He looks up and sees the small black spots in his vision.

Panic attack.

The room is getting smaller.

His chest is starting to burn.

He starts to pull at his hair.

He can't breathe.

He can hear his heart in his ears like the Hogwarts Express coming down the line.

He looks up and sees the small black spots in his vision.

Panic attack.

The room is getting smaller.

His chest is starting to burn.

He starts to pull at his hair.

He can't breathe...

Breathe, damn you, you are fine. Brain, you are fine. Heart, you are fine. Theo, you are fine.
Merlin's tits, work lungs! Theo, you are fine.

He closes his eyes and lays in a ball on the floor for who knows how long. Waiting for the
paranoia and panic to leave his body.

Breathe in... 228... Breathe out... 229...

He can't do this right now. There is a girl in the left room. He needs to help her. He needs to go
now. But his body won't let him get up. It won't even let him breathe.

You never get used to panic attacks. He thought someday he might, but after 10 years of having
them pretty consistently, he knows your body never gets used to feeling like it is dying.
Because even if the soul is already dead, sometimes the brain doesn't want to cooperate.

Breathe in... 313... Breathe out 314...

The faint sound of the floo pop makes it to his room. His father has left. Somehow it is easier to
breathe automatically.

"Theo, you're fine. Theo, you're fine."

He sits up and puts his hands above his head, taking in a couple more deep breaths before standing
up.

There is a girl in the left room.

He opens the door and runs back down the corridor.

The left room is my room. Only my room. The left room is ...

Theo can't finish that thought as his chest tightens up again. Nope, his body was already on edge
enough at the moment. He doesn't have the mental ability to handle those dark thoughts.

Do you have enough to enter the damn room?

His feet falter for a second but quickly keep going. There is a girl in the left room. Of course, he
had to go in and get her. He would close his eyes until he needed them open and then just squint,
only look at the girl. Get her out and then shut the door as quickly as possible.

Wow, what an ingenious plan there would-have-been Head Boy. Close your eyes, and run,
brilliant. This is why Draco is the strategist...

He stops in front of the door on the left. The door looks like every other door in the manor, nothing
special about it at all. But he knew the truth. He pauses for only a second as his hand touches the
doorknob. Any longer, and his cowardice would win out. Theo closes his eyes, and the door
doesn't make a sound as he quickly opens it and enters the lightless hole. He opens his undamaged
eye to a crease and makes out the form of a body on the floor to his right.

Okay, grab her and go. Grab her and go. Grab her and...
 His whole body convulses as he looks at the supposed person in front of him.

She is naked.

She is unconscious.

She is bleeding.

She is bruised.

She is bound.

She is...

Theo's eyes widen from their creases at the realization.

"Shit."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Physical abuse towards the end of the chapter.

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram

Cover art by Alissa Raut

Twitter & Instagram
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

Trigger Warnings are in the end notes for each chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Everything hurts. Everything has hurt for so long she doesn't remember a time when every breath
wasn't a constant battle.

Don't do it. Your lungs can hold out a bit longer. You haven't even made it 60 seconds.

Remember? At 60 seconds, you can take a breath if you want.

But why do you want to?

Let's just stop.

It hurts anyways.

It all always hurts...

She feels skin touching her, creating little areas of pain more intense than the rest of her body. But
skin is touching her skin again; she can register that through the fog of pain in her mind. She
doesn't want to feel it.

Please just go unconscious again. Please, you know it's easier.

She wills her mind to give in to the pain, but she has always been stubborn. The skin touching her
moves slightly, and she lets out a raspy whimper as the pain on her right side seers into the back of
her skull and into her nostrils.

"Shit, Granger, I'm sorry, sorr... shit... why didn't I do this to start with..."

The skin touching her disappears, and a cold surface under her shocks her fever-infected skin as
another small whimper leaves her.

She is only placed on the cold for a second before something soft is wrapped around her, and it
feels like she is floating.

I'm going to pass out again. Please, Merlin, let me pass out again...

But of course, she doesn't. The pain keeps weaving throughout her body as she feels like she is
floating.

It's time to take your next breath.

Do you want to pet?

No. But you know you are going to make me...

She takes a breath in, and the pain magnifies. She groans and feels her head lob to the side.

"We're almost there, we're almost there, Granger." The voice makes its way through the fog.

It sounds familiar. She can't place it, can't put a face to it. But a lot of the voices she hears are
familiar. She knows it is a male voice. Different than the one from earlier. Who was he again? She
knows, she knows who it was. It is right there at the tip of her tongue, but it won't form...

She feels herself being placed on something soft. It forms around her broken body as she falls
deeper into it.

It's a bed.

No...

She jerks her head upwards and opens her eyes too quickly.

Get on the floor. Get on the floor.

She hears the pain in her ears as her eyes adjust from the pitch-black, to the naturally lit room she
is in now.

"No, plea.." she can't finish as her jaw locks up, and a white light covers the vision in her left eye
for far too long to be okay.

She hears shuffling to her left, and a shadow enters her periphery.

"It's okay, It's okay, Granger, I need you to open your mouth..."

Open your mouth...

Nonononono...

Tears fill her eyes, and her body starts to shake as she obeys.

"Okay, good, you will feel a tingle here for a few seconds, but it'll... shit, you know all this.
Draught of Peace Granger, that's what I'm using."

She doesn't know what the male voice is going on about. She knows nothing but the pain. A warm
liquid enters her throat, and she halts breathing and stares up at a ceiling with a curious stain in the
one corner. She doesn't recall getting to this part of it already.
It is almost over if you want it to be. Just swallow.

She continues to hold her breath and hold the warm liquid in the back of her throat.

"Granger, you need to swallow."

Swallow ...

She contracts her throat and feels the warm liquid pool in her stomach. A shiver takes over her
whole body. That isn't normal. She isn't sure whether that is a good sign or bad.

"Good, okay. Now... Shit... Shit... why are people dying around me all the bloody time!?"

Out of nowhere, she feels her lungs filling easier. Her body isn't shaking anymore.

Weird.

"Okay, now Blood-Replenishing Potion Granger."

More warm liquid in her throat. Was there another person present? This was all happening too fast.
Was she going unconscious in between? She feels calmer than she has in quite some time, so why
was she going unconscious? Maybe this is what dying feels like.

Finally ...

"Granger, come on, you need to swallow."

She swallows.

"Okay now, dittany and skele-gro and murtlap and... shit... yeah skele-gro first. Yeah, yes. Oh no
shit no, pain suppressant first you git."

Another warm liquid in her mouth. Somehow through all the pain, she would throw up from this.

"Swallow."

She does.

Within seconds, the fog she has been under for what feels like forever starts to pull back.

What is happening?
Her vision restores, and her mind can see her thoughts forming clearly, unlike she has felt in a
while.

What is happening?

She must have said that out loud because the male voice responds.

"You're... a mess Granger. Those potions are taking care of some of the pain. Do you feel any
better?"

She knows that voice. Yes, it is the same name as the male from earlier, but a different person.

"Theo?" Her voice is raspy and guttural and honestly startles her. She keeps staring at the ceiling,
though. She doesn't dare look at him.

This shouldn't surprise her. It really shouldn't, but Theo? He was always so quiet in school, never a
bully like the rest, and extremely smart. He was second in their class, if she remembered correctly,
right behind her. His favorite table in the library was three down from her own, and they both
made a habit of giving each other a nod and quick smile when passing each other's favored spots.
They spent more time in the library than anywhere else, so they did it quite often. They never
spoke, though. She always thought they would have the time to get to know one another when they
shared living quarters as Head Girl and Boy. Like a lot of things, that time never came.

"Yeah, it's me. The pain potion must be working if you can talk... shit your body, Granger..." She
tenses at the words and closes her eyes, not wanting to see what comes next.

"Okay skele-gro next, then dittany, then... these external wounds. Yes, internal then exter..." He
pauses mid-sentence and freezes next to her. "Oh shit, shit, shit, shi..."

She hears a door fly open, as Theo must be stepping out into the hallway. "Fritzy!!"

A pop sound.

"Yes, Master? Oh, you have found the new toy. Is it in need of maintenance?"

"What? Shit Fritzy, seriously? She's a person she's a... You know what, no time... I need you to go
find..."

Her body starts shaking again, and her vision goes. Fluid is filling the inside of her cheeks. She can
feel trails dripping out of the corners of her mouth and through her nose. She tries to breathe, but
she can't through all the fluid.

"Tell him periwinkle! He'll know what it means and... oh shit, go, go now!"

Her body is pushed onto its side, and she immediately feels the fluid in her mouth and in her throat
push outwards.

"Calm down, Theo, calm down." She gasps as her airways clear enough. "Okay, Granger, I have to
get that rib out of your lung now. This will hurt, but the skele-gro, pain suppressant, and draught of
peace will help right after, okay? Okay, are you with me, Granger? Granger? I am going to need
you to keep this in your mouth. Bite down on it, okay? Granger, blink twice if you understand."
She stares ahead at a large fireplace with one giant Victorian chair to the side. The entire mantle is
covered in small unique items.

Is that a first edition Hogwarts: a History?

"Granger? Hermione, are you with me? Shit... Okay okay. I'm... I'm sorry, Hermione."

Her mouth is pried open, and something is stuffed into it. Her horror is drowned out by the item.

Theo comes up behind her. She can feel his hand slip underneath the fabric and touch her stomach,
an area that is still radiating pain even after the potions.

Not Theo... please, please not Theo.

"Thought so, okay now like I said, this will hurt."

He places his hand back under the fabric, and she feels his fingers against her too hot skin.

Something in her snaps, and she jolts, using all the strength she has gathered from the quick
interlude of pain, to drag her body away from him. The lunge takes her flying off the side of the
bed and onto the floor. Tears are spilling down her face. Her hands reach the edge of the
embroidered rug in front of the fireplace.

"Bloody hell, Granger, are you oka..."

"Please, Theo, please don't... don't do this to me. Please, plea..."

She keeps trying to drag herself away from him in the moments of silence following her desperate
plea. She doesn't care that she was begging. She doesn't care that most of them got off more by this
act of survival by her. She doesn't care that she has no pride left to stop her. She has to say it. The
part of her that wanted to believe that people aren't inherently evil makes her say it.

"Fuck."

A shadow falls in front of her, and for the first time, she looks up at him. His hair is longer than it
used to be. Curlier too. Kind of like her own but less frizzy and more controlled. He isn't as thin
anymore either, he was always so lanky in school, but it looks like he has grown into his height
over time. His eyes are the same olive green. Well, one is, at least. The other is sporting a pretty
gruesome shiner.

He looks nothing like his father.

Those eyes would have you believe he is... innocent.

"Don't close your eyes, Granger; please just look at me." She opens her eyes and stares, not
realizing she had ever closed them. He is staring back at her with an intensity that terrifies her. "I
promise you. I am not going to hurt you. I will not touch you beyond what is needed to heal you.
Granger, look at me. We have been busting our arses off trying to find you and make sure you were
safe, okay? Okay? Granger, are you listening? I am healing you. I want to save you."

He wants to save me? Heal me? This has to be a trick. Another game.

Yet he is looking at her with an expression of complete desperation and sincerity.

I can trust him...

That's what her gut tells her, but her brain has other ideas.

His potions are working. You feel clearer than you have in a long time. Let's see how this plays out.
What are your other options?

Run... Ha...

Fight... HaHa...

Give in... There you go, pet.

She looks up at him again and gives him a faint nod to try to convince him that she is listening.
That is all he needs. He lets out the breath he must have been holding and gets down on his knees
in front of her.

"Okay, stay on your side like this, and here, put this back in your mouth. Like I said, this will hurt,
but I will put another dose of pain suppressant and skele-gro down you as soon as it is over, okay?
And then I may need your help figuring out what needs my attention the most."

He looks down at her, and two large dark curls fall between them. He quirks his head to the left to
push them out of the way.

He could use an elastic.

He disappears for a moment and brings back a handful of potions and ingredients. "I think I have
everything I need from what I can see. May need more dittany, but I think..."
Theo apparently talks when he is nervous, she observes. She is making him nervous. Well, the
state of her body is making him nervous. That was a nice change of pace. Her body is scaring
someone else rather than the other way around.

Rather than the others scaring her.

Coming closer to her.

Binding her.

Training her.

Kicking her.

Slapping her.

Touching her.

Suffocating her.

Using her.

Oh no.

"Theo!"

Her fearful realization makes her body start shaking again. He looks down at her from the line of
potions he is organizing next to her head for quick use. She propels her hand up to grab him by the
front of his shirt to bring them closer.

"Cast a contraceptive charm on me now!"

His face goes from concerned, to confused, to frozen in mortification. His left arm comes up
behind her shaking body. He holds her up against his chest as her words sink in.

"I, I... shit, I don't know how."

She starts to cry again and lets go of his shirt in defeat, but he still holds her close. His eyes
searching somewhere far away.

"I should know it. All those damn nights memor... But never thought... Shit, I really do sound like
a damn virgin, shit..."

"You say shit a lot."

She doesn't know why she whispers it. Maybe because this is the first conversation she has had
with someone in a while. The first interaction where she actually feels like a person again.

"Nervous tick." Theo is still looking at a spot above her head, his mind elsewhere. His mouth is
moving. Trying to figure out the problem before him.

"But he will know..."

His voice is barely a whisper, but his vision begins to return from wherever he went. He jerks his
head down to look at her, still holding her close.

"Granger, someone else is coming to help me. Someone who wants to help you too, trust me,
okay? He can give you a contraceptive charm; he'll be here soon. But right now, I have to take care
of your ribs and your lung."

She nods, and he lays her back down gently on her side and positions himself behind her, placing
one hand under the fabric.

"Okay, you have it in your mouth... okay, good, here we go..."

She hears a slight noise, small enough to sound like a pillow dropping to the floor. A sound that
should have been insignificant, but at the sound, her body starts to radiate in pain she has never felt
before.

She starts screaming. It is a mix of a groan and a scream. Before she has time to breathe, fabric is
pulled out of her mouth, and warm liquid is in the back of her throat again.

"Swallow!"

She does.

Another warm liquid.

"Swallow!!"

She does.

Another warm liquid.

"Swallow!!!"

She does.

She still can't breathe. She can feel where her lung used to operate. She never noticed before that
she could feel the space where her lung should be filled with the life-given oxygen, but now that it
is gone, it has never been more apparent.

"Don't panic, don't panic, a couple more seconds, and you should start to feel it. Look at me,
Granger, for just a couple more seconds."

His eyes are fixed on hers.

They are nice eyes. Not the worst thing to be looking at as I die.

She wants to tell him many requests to fulfill for her after her death.

Make sure Crookshanks goes to the Burrow. It is like his second home anyways.
 And Harry… it wasn't all for nothing.

Tell Ron she loves him.

Give her book collection to Hogwarts library.

Have her Oxford sweatshirt sent to her parent's address in Australia. Even if they didn't remember
her, she selfishly wanted them to have a piece of her with them in their new life.

She opens her mouth to speak but finds it impossible with her lung caving in. So she just stares
back into those green eyes and raises the corners of her mouth.

I'm ready.

The sound of the floo popping behind Theo makes her body jump, and her lungs suck in a full
breath of air.

Chapter End Notes

Major TW!!! Physical and sexual abuse inferred, gore

Embedded art by moonyandtoasts Instagram

All rights of characters and world are reserved to J. K. Rowling.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Fenrir Greyback is here.

He can hear his horrendously loud howl of a laugh from the entryway as he steps out of the floo
into the Greengrass manor the Dark Lord was using as a base.

Walking quickly, he heads in its direction without really thinking, the opposite way from where he
needs to go. He doesn't care. He has to know.

If he is wearing the bloody scarf...

He stops in the hallway. What would he do if he was? Honestly, what could he do if he was?

Burn this whole fucking world to the ground with me in it...

No, he couldn't do that. Not now. Not yet, at least. He had to be smart about this. He had to have a
plan.

A plan with a foundation built by emotions, not driven by them.

He closes his eyes and starts to build the walls needed to think clearly, efficiently, strategically. If
he was wearing the scarf, would it be better or worse? Would it be better to know? Or was it better
to be in the dark with the slight chance...

Come on; there is no one else in here at the moment; at least be honest with yourself. You haven't
held any weight to that small chance in over a month.

No, that isn't true.

Isn't it?

No, it's not.

Then why have you stopped looking for her? Why are you focusing solely on finding pieces of her
instead?

The thoughts make his stomach turn. He was right. He had stopped believing she was alive over a
month ago. The likelihood of the Dark Lord keeping her as some trophy this long was irrational.
Potter and the Weasel had never even retaliated or tried to save her for all he knew.

The Order had been silent for the most part after the Battle of Hogwarts six months ago. The most
considerable pain in the arse they were causing the Dark Lord was a whispered creation of a secret
system for saving muggles and muggle-born wizards from the areas where genocide occurred. That
system undeniably involved hidden safe houses. Hence his assignment the last six months.

It was a fluff of a mission compared to others.

After his punishment for his performance at the Battle of Hogwarts, he enlisted himself, Theo,
Blaise, Daphne, and Pansy to a unit to focus on this increasing headache.

They all agreed it was one of the only assignments they could stomach or thought they could. That
changed when one of their leads was accurate, and the group was forced to participate in a night
none of them would ever forget.

After the massacre, looking down at his hands, the hands that had just killed Luna Lovegood, he
knew Granger was gone—probably gone a long time ago. And so was he.

He opens his eyes again as the walls become unbreakable. He cracks his shoulders and begins to
walk purposefully towards the voices.

It is time to know. I'm so tired... It's time for this to be over.

He rounds the corner into a large dining room three people sit. Dolohov is seated closest to him,
smoking a cigarette and playing with a small item in his hand. His father is sitting next to him,
shooting back a glass of liquor. His eyes aren't in the room. His father has been gone a long time...
They are both looking at the man across from them, still making that chalk scraping sound of a
laugh.

Greyback.

Draco hesitates for a moment before looking up at him. The werewolf, currently a man, is looking
back with a sneer on his face. He is disgusting. He is covered in dirt and grime that Draco can
smell from where he stands. His clothes are in tatters like normal, except for the pristine Death
Eater robes he wears for the meetings of the head Death Eaters.

Draco is not invited to those anymore. He looks from Fenrir's bare neck, back over to where his
robes lay unceremoniously on the floor.

No scarf.

"Look who has graced us with his presence Lucius." Dolohov snorts as Draco walks further into
the room, trying to ensure nothing brown and wildly curly is piled underneath Fenrir's robes.
Lucius looks up at Draco but sees right through him. They both give each other a slight nod, which
is the end of their interaction with one another.
"Heard the mission was another bust. What is that, three in a row?" Dolohov says, pouring himself
a glass of firewhiskey.

"Been following what I've been up to, Dolohov? You sound a bit obsessed."

Dolohov isn't entertained by Draco's words and flicks his lit cigarette towards him. Draco steps to
the side to move from the lit end, making contact with his clothing. "You wouldn't survive the
things I like to do, Malfoy, so be grateful that I like them female."

Draco isn't paying attention to the sociopath in front of him. He watches as Greyback stands and
picks up the robes from the ground.

Nothing.

A pressure in his chest lightens.

"We have to go. Don't want to be late for the show tonight."

"What show?" Draco knows he should keep his mouth shut. Asking questions always got him into
more trouble than it was worth. Finding out the answers without asking was more his style. But the
three men in front of him are highly intoxicated, and Greyback was known for running his mouth,
so he thought he might be able to get away with it.

"The Dark Lord has a special surprise snack tonight for Nagini, a nice lil' weasel straight from the
Order." Fenrir jokes as he pulls the robe over his body.

"A Weasley? Which one?"

"Does it matter? There are too many of that filth of a family in this world. I heard he was captured
during one of the rare successful missions led by the unit you are in. That Flint will take your
favored spot before you know it."

It is supposed to be a dig, but Draco has never had the desire to be favored by the Dark Lord. He
just needs information, and unknowingly, Fenrir gave him a bit more.

So it is either George, Charlie, Bill, Percy, or Arthur. There is no way it's the Weasel that would be
made into a public show at the least. Let it be that prick Percy...

"Interesting." He says, nodding quickly at his father and leaving the room to turn in the paperwork
and memory.

"Oh, it's very interesting; apparently, the little git was obliviated just like that Mudblood was right
before being captured. And way more of his mind was. I'm telling you, that group is hiding
something big, and my guess is..."

"Fenrir, shut up."

Draco tries to ensure his footsteps don't falter, but he knows they do at the mention of the
Mudblood. There was only one person Death Eaters consistently referred to as the Mudblood. The
famous one.
Mine.

He focuses on his steps as he walks further down the corridor until he hears the pop of the Floo. He
slows down to process Fenrir's word vomit.

He had heard the rumors that she was missing memories. He heard it so many times he had
categorized it into the section of talk he believed to be accurate. But The Order had done it again to
another captured member? That was valuable information. He tucks it behind a wall and makes his
way to the liaison office. The female Carrow is behind the desk today.

"Mr. Malfoy, room 3."

Turning the handle, he enters the fluorescent-lit room with a stranger in the corner holding a vial
up to him. He takes his wand, pulls down the specific walls needed to extract the memory, and
watches as the bluish tint of vapor slides into the vial. He sits down in the chair and watches the
man tilt the vial into the Pensieve and dips his head. A few moments pass before he raises his head
and places the memory in the vial. Draco, knowing the routine, hands over the paperwork verifying
the memory.

The man scans it, "Good, thank you, Mr. Malfoy. You may go."

He doesn't even nod as he leaves the room. He just wants to get back to Nott Manor and place this
Fenrir rumor in the trash bin of his mind. They didn't have any other leads or gossip to follow or
look into at the moment. They were becoming more and more scarce.

They had looked into the Bellatrix rumor months ago. It was one of Draco's first guesses for where
Granger was being kept, but they came up empty every search. Rationally, Bellatrix wasn't a good
person to leave her with, especially if the Dark Lord wanted her alive. And Draco knew that if she
had her, Bellatrix would be using her against him at every chance she got, now that she suspected.
No, she wasn't given to Bellatrix.

She wasn't in his family manor either or hidden in the ministry, or Hogwarts, or Azkaban. He and
Theo had been looking everywhere for her for the past six months, and they found nothing. No
trace, no clue; it was like she vanished.

He knew she hadn't escaped back to The Order either due to the Weasel's daily requests for any
information about his lost love that played on Potterwatch.

This is all your fault...

I know...

"Draco..."

Shit, she is calling him Draco now, never good. He sees the female Carrow walk around her desk,
blocking his exit.

"Yes?" He doesn't try to hide his irritation.

"You know, I could do you a favor. In exchange for a favor if you like."

For fuck's sake... I hate my life.

"No."

He tries to step around her, but she places her suggestively arching body towards him once again.

Carrow, I am not above hitting a woman.

"You haven't even heard what I am proposing," she says, taking another step closer to him and
reaching out to grab the front of his robes with one of her hands. He takes a step back to keep her
hand from reaching him.

"The answer is still, and will always be, no."

Her arm falls to her side, but she keeps stepping forward.

"Not even if I can get you back in the Dark Lord's good graces?"

He almost laughs out loud at her response. She has no idea how ridiculously inaccurate her
assumptions of him are.

Good .

"Listening."

He stares her down, making her flimsy mask of control falter, placing him in control where he
belongs.

"Oh well... I know of a mission where the success rate is almost undeniable. If you would like, I
could have you placed as head of the unit. And also praise your name after its success to the Dark
Lord."

"What is the mission?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course. A successful mission doesn't mean I technically come back successfully."

She rolls her eyes at him. He hates that.

Only one woman has permission to do that to me.

"One where your demise is not a part of the plan, I assure you."

He scoffs at her and looks above her head as he swears he sees a small shadow appear to move
down the corridor.

Half of the Dark Lord's personally given missions to Draco had been suicide missions.

"Then tell me."

"Not until you fulfill your half of the deal."

His eyes go back up over her shoulder as the shadow moves again. It is too small to be a human.
Too large to be one of the kneazles the Greengrass family has wandering about their estate.

"And what would you want in return, Carrow?"

"Would you like it bluntly or inferred?"

"Surprise me."

"Sex. When I want, until you are placed in an arranged marriage. We will keep it discreet, of
course."

He blinks; she has surprised him. His eyes glare back down at her. She is serious.

"You realize I'm 19, right?" He looks her body up and down in an obvious way. Not actually
taking any of it in, but hopefully, between this and his following words, he would be able to get the
point across. "You're old enough to be my mother."

"Your mother is dead." She cruelly whispers at his face with a slight sneer. He feels his fists press
against the sides of his pants.

"Your sweet nothings could use some work."

She laughs at this and takes a step closer to him, only a few more, and she would be able to touch
him. He catches a movement again from behind her shoulder towards the bottom of the open
doorway.

I know that house elf.

What the hell is Fritzy doing here?

Carrow reaches out with her hand, but Draco lunges up, roughly grabbing her wrists and sinking
his thumb into the sensitive area below the joint. She lets out a small yelp of pain and drags her
body down to try to alleviate the pressure.

"No deal."

He yanks her wrist down to his right, pulling her entire body down to the ground, and steps quickly
around her towards the open doorway where the house elf is hiding in the shadows.
"You prick! You have no idea what you..." He shuts the door behind him.

Where did that bloody house elf go?

"Fritzy, I saw you."

The tiny house elf in question scurries out from behind one of the large monuments of a
Greengrass relative placed in the hallway.

"Sorry to interrupt, sir, but master told me to come find you right away. Yes, right away, and to
you only, sir."

The house elf hunches his shoulders and quickly looks around to see if they are alone. Draco
knows this house elf belongs to Nott Manor and that one of his masters is Theo, but the other
master the house elf could be here for was Theo's father.

"Which master?"

"Oh, the young one, sir. Stupid Fritzy should have clarified, sir. Fritzy apologizes, sir." The house
elf starts bashing his head into the large monument to his right. Draco doesn't have time for this.

"Why were you sent?"

The house elf stops as a small trail of blood comes down to rest in his temple.

"Master Theo said to tell you periwinkle, sir."

His mind freezes. Draco's chest is caving in. His whole body twitches twice before he kneels and
looks the house elf in the eyes.

"What did you just say?" His voice promises death as he stares at the terrified little creature.

"Periwinkle, sir."

He takes off for the floo.

He said periwinkle. Theo told him to say periwinkle. He has something. He knows something.

He grabs a handful of floo powder in shaky hands, and his voice cracks as he yells his destination
into the fireplace.

He has something.

Something big.

Theo would never send his bloody house elf after you with that message unless it was big.
Maybe there was a sighting.

Maybe The Order had her.

Maybe her body was found.

Maybe she wouldn't be surrounded with maybes in his mind anymore.

Maybe...

The smoke of the Floo dissipates, and the familiar gaudy style of Theo's room comes into view as
he bursts out of the fireplace.

"Granger, don't smile at me like that, just a few more seconds, I swear..."

Draco's eyes and ears adjust to the chaotic Floo experience slower than usual. He sees Theo
kneeling on the floor of his room in front of a pile of bloody blankets. He is speaking loudly and
quickly down at them.

What the fuck?

At the sound of his entrance, Theo turns around. His face and front are covered in blood smears,
and his eyes are panicked. His mate is freaking out.

He must have had a run-in with his father again.

"Thank Merlin! Grab the murtlap and dittany out of my bag now! And my wand. I can't bloody
find it anywhere, and shit, try to..."

"Theo, what's going on? Why in the bloody hell did you send a house elf to..." As he takes a few
steps out of the fireplace, he sees that the pile of blankets isn't just a pile of blankets; they hold a
body in them.

Almost a body.

A brutalized body.

A red body that should be gold.

A body with wild curls and sweet milk chocolate hair.

His body.

Her body.

Her dead body.

Granger.

His legs give out underneath him. His hands smash down as he catches his face from making
contact with the floor. He can't breathe. He can hear a ringing noise as he looks up at the body
again.

It blinks.

She's alive.

My girl blinked.

"Shit Draco, get up; I need your help! I can't bloody well save both of your lives at the moment.
Come on; she needs you!"

She needs me.

Draco pulls himself up to his feet, but his body continues to shake uncontrollably as he looks her
over again.

How is she alive?

She should be dead. Her body... He can't finish the thought as his eyes begin to water and his
shaking increases. He tries to take a step, but he can't. He can't move.

She blinks again.

Still alive.

Suddenly, Theo's face breaks his eye contact with Granger's broken body. He feels weight pressing
into his shoulders as Theo pulls him closer.

"Draco, occlude now!" He just stares at his brother.

Her body... what did they do to you? Who...

"Draco, you prick, occlude now!" Theo is yelling at him. Spit is splattering all over his face from
Theo's fear, making him blink, coming back to the world in front of him. "We did not go through
all this hell for you to shit a brick the moment it matters you hear me! She needs you, mate! I need
you! So occlude now!"

She needs me.

Theo needs a plan built on the foundation of emotions, not driven by them.

Granger needs him.

He makes eye contact with his friend and gives him a nod. He closes his eyes and rolls his
shoulders, building fortresses, cities, manors, kingdoms around her. To protect her. Always to
protect her. Everything to protect her. The walls get taller and thicker, and he feels his limbs stop
shaking, and his heart rate drops. She's behind the walls. She is safe.

He opens his eyes and looks down at the scene again. Granger is staring at him, or through him is
more like it.

"Draco, the bag and wand now!"

Draco sees the large bag closer to the bed and runs and grabs it. He finds his wand underneath the
bed and quickly places the items next to Theo.

"Dittany now. Tear it up into varying sizes."

Draco makes to kneel next to Granger and Theo as he reaches to pull the dittany out of the bag.

"No! not Malfoy no, no! Please, Malfoy, no, get away, please!"

He looks up at her and sees the unadulterated fear in her eyes as she screams at him. Her destroyed
body shakes, and she tries to push herself farther away from him.

He feels like he is going to throw up. She is scared of him. Why is she scared of him? He wants to
reach out and push her dirty, matted hair out of her bloody face, but she is scared of him.

Many people should be scared of me, Granger, but you are not one of them.

Theo places a hand on the side of her face and gently turns her to look at him. "He is who I called
Granger. He is here to help me heal you. He wants to save you, okay?"

That is all I want, Granger.

"You can trust him, okay? Granger, I need you to calm down, please. I promise neither of us will
touch you beyond what is needed to heal all of this. I promise, look at me, not at him, look at me, I
promise. On my life, on my artifacts, on my first edition of Hogwarts: a History. You know how
valuable that is, don't you, Granger?"

She nods up at him, and Draco watches as the shaking in her body turns into slight tremors.

"Okay, shit, where was I... oh right. Draco, I need you to cut that dittany and get another bottle of
murtlap out."

Granger goes back to staring up at the ceiling, not looking at him again. He takes a tentative step
forward and kneels next to Theo, who is doing a diagnostic check on the right side of her body. He
starts magically tearing the dittany leaves into different sizes, never taking his eyes off of her.

Never again, you hear me, Granger. I am never taking my eyes off of you again.

She closes her eyes as the two of them continue to work. Draco sees the blood. There isn't an inch
of her that isn't covered with red. Large gashes and swelling areas cover all of the exposed skin he
can see that isn't hidden underneath the throw blanket. Both eyes are black, her nose is somehow
sunken into her face, and her lips are enormous and chapped. He might not have recognized her if it
wasn't for the hair.

"Good, it worked. A rib punctured her right lung. But it's working now. It's working. Her hip, yeah,
her hip next."

Draco's throat isn't working. He is still in shock, no doubt.

You are cutting up dittany for Granger right now, and she is still alive. She isn't a scarf, or hanging
from the drawing room, or losing her mind in Azkaban, or torn apart in the woods somewhere, or
starving down in a dungeon forgotten about, or being tortured by the Dark Lord. She is here in
front of you right now. And you haven't said a bloody word to her, you raging idiot.

"Granger," it is barely a whisper, he is sure there is no way she heard him, but to his surprise, she
turns her head slightly and opens her eyes as much as she can.

The gold is gone.

Who took the gold from your eyes, Granger?

"Malfoy," she says it just as weakly as he did.

The gold isn't there anymore, but the depth of those brown eyes are all the same. It is her. She is in
front of him, and she just said his name.

"Glad you are still alive."

What the actual hell...

He can't be sure, but he thinks she tries to roll her eyes at him.

That's my girl.

"Really? Glad you're alive, Draco? Pathetic."

Theo keeps his eyes on his diagnostic chart as he insults his best friend, but a small smile forms at
the side of his mouth, identical to the one forming on Draco's. Suddenly a bloody hand is pulling
his wand arm towards her.

"Do it, do it now! Please!"

Granger places the hand holding his wand over her stomach and begins shaking again.

"What?"

"I need you to cast a contraceptive charm on me now! The later, the less effective it becomes,
please, Malfoy!"

Draco looks down at her, puzzled.

"A contracep..." His mind freezes again.

No. No. No. NO. NO!

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

"Draco..." Theo's hesitant voice brings him back from the white rage filling his entire body.

"Who."

"Please, Malfoy, now please!"

Tears are streaming down her broken face, and he feels one leave the side of his eye as well, but it's
not from sadness. No, it is from a fury he has never felt before. Someone had... Someone had
done... No one had the right to...

He gently moves her hand out of the way and raises his wand to cast the charm.

Murder isn't a sufficient word to describe what I will do to the fucker who touched you, Granger.
"Now a diagnostic!"

Draco just stares into her eyes, knowing Theo will oblige her request. He can't look at it.
Something in him shifts, and he finds himself reaching out and gently holding the broken hand in
his; she doesn't pull away. The tremors haven't stopped, whether from fear, pain, or both. Probably
both.

Sh e isn't; she isn't. She can't be.

He watches as her eyes scan the diagnostic and process the information. After a moment, she starts
to cry, places her head back onto the floor, and closes her eyes.

No...

"Thank Merlin," he hears Theo whisper, and Draco lets out the breath he was holding. At his
words, Granger yanks her hand out of his gentle hold.

"Okay, Granger listen, I know you probably feel a lot better than you were feeling, but that is
because you are not trying to die on me anymore, okay? And just because you aren't dying doesn't
mean you are better."

Theo moves back into her line of vision. His face is gentle and sincere, even though his eyes still
chaotically look in panic.

"I'm going to be blunt, Granger, because from what I have been told about you, and it's a lot by the
way, I think you would appreciate that; you're a mess, and this is going to take a shit ton of time
and is going to continue to be bloody painful, but I could use your help. Can you tell me what hurts
the worst right now?"

She blinks at him. The blink lasts a long time.

"Knock me out."

"Excuse me?"

"Knock me out, Theo, do whatever you want to do, just please knock me out."

Draco was not a fan of her choice of wording.

Did she think they?.. Why in Merlin's name would she think that?

"Are you sure that's what you want? This would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, but…"
"Yes, please, please."

Granger doesn't beg. Ever. What the hell happened to her?

"Okay."

"Absolutely fucking not." The words leave Draco before he can stop them, not that he wants to
stop them. "We're not going to rape you, Granger. We're healing you."

She is crying again.

Way to go, arsehole, making your girl cry.

"Draco!" Theo is pissed. He probably deserves it. Gentleness has never been a strong suit of his.
"What the hell, mate?"

"Sorry."

Through her tears, strange gargling whimpers start coming, and her body shakes again. "Please,
please, please."

Theo grabs the side of her face again. "Okay, Granger. I'll knock you out, okay? I'll wake you up as
soon as we have you healed as much as possible. You will wake up feeling a hell of a lot better, I
promise you. And then I'll let you check out my library; you'd like that? As long as you promise
not to snap the spines, you can read any book you want. And we will get you some food, and tea
with honey and milk. That's how you like it, right? That's what Draco has told me."

Her eyes widen in horror as Theo mentions the snapped spines of books, and he smiles down at
her. "The snapped spines was a joke. I know you're no heathen Granger, not like the rest of my
sorry lot."

Why is Theo saying these things to her? Why not you? Why can't you make her interact with the
world, make her body stop trembling, touch her face without her recoiling, and make her eyes
open...

No, you make her eyes cry.

Bastard.

She nods slightly, and Theo places her head back down on the ground. He raises his wand and
casts the spell, and her eyes slowly shut. Draco looks away.
 She looks dead again.

She isn't dead.

I know, but it is too convincing.

Like he knows his thoughts, Theo reaches and turns her head away from him, so he can't see her
closed eyes anymore. Draco takes a couple of steady breaths and works to keep his walls up.

She is alive; she is here; she is safe. Now you need to keep her safe. Safer than last time. This time
you can't fail her.

"Well..."

Theo lets out an exhausted huff of air, falls back to sit on the floor, and runs a bloody hand through
his hair.

"I found Granger."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Physical and sexual abuse inferred. Gore

 Theo
Chapter Notes

Check end of chapter notes for TW.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

To say that Draco was falling apart would be an understatement. When the hell did he become the
one good in the middle of a crisis?

Draco sits across from him, staring down at Granger like he sees a ghost, like this was all a dream
he is about to wake up from or a nightmare. It was hard to classify the last hour as anything other
than a nightmare. But she is alive, and he is pretty confident that she will stay that way thanks to
him.

Death: 1 Theo: 3. Take that bastard.

"Tell me."

Draco is still staring down at the girl he has been breathing for, for the last couple of years. And
she was terrified of him. That had to fucking hurt.

Theo looks back at the diagnostic charm he has over her left leg. Her hip is dislocated, and she has
lacerations in her thigh muscles. From the reddish-orange color on the diagnostic, he guesses it
was dislocated for a while. He needs to pop it back into place.

"Short version, or long version?"

Theo raises the throw blanket so he can see her upper leg, making sure to keep the blanket over as
much of her as possible.

"Theo..." It is a warning.

"Got home, went down to the potion room to restock the kit, and started hearing someone
screaming. Come here; I'm going to need your help."

Theo takes her leg into his hands and pulls it out so they can have access to her inner thigh. Draco
moves across from him, staring at the exposed leg.

Completely red like the rest of her. There are deep, dark, purple bruises visible through the red, and
her knees are rubbed raw. Is the bottom of her foot burnt?

"Theo."

"Right yeah, sorry, not gawking at your girl, I promise. It's just a lot to take in. You okay?"
He looks up at his friend, who is staring down at her foot. Yeah, it was definitely burnt.

"No."

"Sorry mate, really I am. But I'm pretty sure she is going to make it. The rest of this... shit, yeah, it's
a lot, but it is healable. Not life-threatening. She is going to be okay."

"Theo, tell me."

"Okay, but we need to push her hip back into place while I talk. You grab her thigh and right above
the knee and hold firm. I will push on her inner thigh to try and get it back in the socket, okay?
Kind of like we did for your shoulder that one time after you fell off your broom and..."

"Theo."

"Shit yeah, nervous rambling. Sorry."

They both place their hands on her leg in the designated positions.

Merlin, her skin is on fire. Remember to add a fever potion to the list.

"Okay, ready on three. One, two, three."

He pushes quickly and hears a faint clunk sound as the joint comes back together where it belongs.

"So, like I said, I heard a girl screaming from behind one of the closed doors in the hallway. Then I
hear my father hitting, kicking, and just destroying her. I was so thrown off. I have never heard or
even seen him do that to anyone but me."

The diagnostic charm in front of him shows the hip is back in place. He starts running wide
diagnostic charms on the rest of her body, trying to make sure he isn't missing anything internal.

"He started to leave the room, so I ran and pretended to just be coming home. We had our little
heart to heart in the entryway." He turns his attention back to his bag and pulls out a fever potion.
"Draco, his whole left side was covered in blood, and I'm pretty sure most of it was his own.
Honestly, I'm positive that if we scanned a diagnostic onto her abdomen right now, we would see a
piece of my father's ear in her fucking stomach. I think she bit it off, like for real, took her teeth and
ripped part of the bastard's ear right off."

Theo lets out a soft whistle as he imagines the scene in his mind. "Absolutely badarse."

Draco is back to staring at her but starts to place dittany and then murtlap over some of the more
significant gashes and cuts over her upper body. He uses one hand to place the healing ingredients
and the other to push her bloody, matted hair out of her face and behind her ears. His hands are
shaking uncontrollably. He still won't look at her face.

"I asked him why he was bleeding, and he said he had a new toy. Didn't seem too happy about it,
though. Told me I could use it and do whatever I wanted to it, but to make sure it stayed alive. The
old bastard had no idea she was laying there drowning in her own bodily fluids due to the kick that
made her rib puncture her lung. She would be dead right now if I hadn't gone down as soon as my
father left and brought her up here. I wonder what the Dark Lord would have done to him then."
"So your father did this to her?"

Draco is moving down to her legs with the dittany and murtlap. They really should clean her off
before doing that step, but Theo isn't brave enough to tell Draco to stop.

He places the healing ingredients on her body with one hand, and with the other, he slowly caresses
the skin next to the wound for no apparent healing reason.

The man just needs to touch her, to convince himself she is alive.

Theo opens her mouth, noticing she is missing a tooth as well. He would have to look up a potion
to help with that problem. He dumps the fever potion down her throat and holds his hand over her
mouth as her body swallows the fluid.

"Some of it, my guess. Definitely the punctured lung. But a lot of this is old, like the hip
dislocation. That had been like that for a while. And some of the burns and lacerations look old as
well. And yeah, my father has many vices, but smoking is not one of them, and you see these
circular burns? Those have to be from cigarettes. Some of the red on her skin is literally stained
from the blood sitting there for so long. And look here on her neck." Theo points to a dark line that
encompasses around her whole neck like a collar. "My guess is that's a tattoo. Some type of magic
suppressant is involved. Or she would have had us all on our arses."

Draco reaches out with a rag and wipes some of the blood, and grime off her neck to get a better
look. Yeah, it is a tattoo.

"So she has been here, 189 steps away from us this whole fucking time."

Theo can hear his anger.

"178 steps."

Do you want to die today, Theo?

"But no, I don't think so. My father said she was new. I think he just acquired her. That's all I know.
Granger really wasn't in a state to fill in all the gaps. I'm sure we can get some answers from her
after she wakes up, and she can breathe properly again."

Draco is back down at her legs with the dittany and murtlap. He raises the blanket from where
Theo had arranged it while popping her hip back into place. His hands are still shaking as he places
the blanket right below indecency, keeping the private areas of her as they should be, private. With
a sudden jerk, his hands freeze on the blanket.

"What?" Theo asks.

Draco is staring down with a look he can't place. He follows his eyes to her upper thighs. The
bruising is shocking, and the area seems to be stained darker than many of the other areas on her
skin. Looking closer, Theo can see that something else is mixed in with the thin layer of blood.

Something stringy, and white, and...

Oh, gods...

Draco quickly stands and runs into the lavatory. Theo sits, staring at her legs and listening to Draco
throw up over, and over, and over again into his loo.

Without putting a lot of thought into it, Theo raises his wand over her body and casts a series of
scourgify spells. Her skin is still stained red in multiple areas, but the proof of what his father did to
her... The evidence of why she was so adamant about having a contraceptive charm placed in her
was gone.

Well, I can add rapist to the long lists of horrifying words to describe my father. Death Eater,
abuser, cheater, drunk, wicked southpaw, murderer, and now, rapist. What a dad...

The gashes, scars, bruises, and cuts are now easily visible, with the blood old and new taken away
by the scourgify.

"Merlin Granger, how the hell are you still alive?" He whispers.

Theo hears the toilet flush, and he can see through the open door. The tall blonde leans back
against the shower wall and places his head between his legs.

I'm so sorry, brother... This world has been too cruel to you.

He knows he is sitting in there blaming himself. Probably telling himself over and over again that it
was all his fault. As Draco's shoulders shake slightly as he breathes out, he knows he is right.

Theo places the throw blanket over Granger's entire body up to her neck and casts a cushioning
charm to make sure she is comfortable. He steps around her and into the bathroom, sliding down
the wall next to Draco.

"It's not your fault, mate."

Draco lets out a wicked scoff from between his legs. "You know for a fact that it is my fucking
fault, Theo."

"No, it isn't." Theo doesn't hide his irritation. He already had this same conversation with his best
friend a dozen times over the past six months.

He shouldn't be irritated. He should have more patience for his friend, but he is going on 72 hours
of no sleep, 12 of those stuck outside, a run-in with his father, finding the long lost Golden Girl
most of the world was looking for, and oh yeah, spending the last hour trying to keep people from
dying. People who seemed all too eager to die. They were the worst kinds to save. No help at all.

"Did you keep her captive and cut her, beat her, burn her, and rape her? No. You have been an
insufferable pain in my arse for the past six months with one objective, and one objective only, to
save her. None of this is your fault. Honestly, the fact that she is alive right now is the only thing
you can attribute to being your fault. If you hadn't recruited me into your crazy periwinkle mission,
I probably wouldn't have reacted as quickly as I did. So she is alive right now, breathing, sleeping,
safe because of you."

Theo points his index finger into Draco's chest to drive his point home as he says the final words.

"Well, and because of me. I mean, I did do most of the work. Haven't even received a bloody thank
you from you either..."

"You call that body out there alive?"

The response surprises Theo.

"Well, she is breathing and not in critical condition anymore, so yeah, I call that alive. I think most
people would."

Okay, Draco, I can usually handle your temper tantrums, but you are being an extreme bastard at
the moment.

"That body is not Granger."

Theo stares at Draco, waiting for him to clarify because he is 90% sure that the girl is Granger.

If that's not her, I just made an absolute fool of myself... I called her Granger what like 100 times?
Hopefully, she will forgive me, what with the whole saving her life and all, I'm sure she will.

"Just because someone is breathing doesn't make them alive."

Well, that he could agree with. They sit there in silence for a while. Letting the exhaustion start
weighing on their bones. Making it seem impossible to move. All of them were always tired. Being
unsure of your next breath for years on end tended to leave one that way.

"So..." Theo looks up towards the brunette on his floor and tilts his head in her direction. "I know
this may sound stupid, but I just need you to clarify; that is Granger out there, right?"

Draco lets out a small huff that sounds almost like a laugh.

"Yeah, that's her."

"Okay, good, because I mean, there are a lot of brunettes in the world, and let's be honest, I don't
know her all that well personally. Just your constant stream of stories and descriptions of her, but
when she looked at me like I was the evilest person in the world when I mentioned snapping the
spines of my books, I was pretty sure I had the right girl."

This gets Theo a small half-smile from the man next to him. At least he was occluding what
needed to be, but also leaving room to still be himself.

"She was horrified, wasn't she?"

Theo nods his head in agreement and rests his head back on the wall.

"And she tried to roll her eyes at me."

Theo smiles. "Well, you were being a prick, so I don't blame her."

Draco runs his steadier hands over his face and into his messy platinum blonde hair. "She's still in
there."

Theo knows what he is talking about. His tone has a hint of a question in it. Like he needs
reassurance of this.

"Yeah, she's still in there, mate. She may need some time and help to come back out, though. And
Draco, parts of her are going to be different. You know that. So you are going to need to have some
patience with her."

Theo looks over at Draco and into his eyes, becoming serious for a second. He could relate to the
struggle of picking up the pieces of yourself after being torn apart by others and trying to put them
back like they were before.

They never fit the same, though.

"So you can't be like you were just now. You can't get that murderous tone with her and say things
like 'you're not a rapist.' You have to have more tact, be softer around her. I think it is evident she
has had enough cruelty around her for a lifetime."

He lets out a long huff of air as he feels the exhaustion in his joints. He still had a lot of work to do
on Granger before he could take a break.

"I know you feel like this is your fault and are mad. I know the word mad doesn't do justice for all
the things you feel and think. I know you would destroy this world for her, and mate, if you decide
to, I will be breaking it alongside you, but let's make sure we don't ruin her in the process, okay?"

Draco stares down at his hands, which have streaks of her blood on them. He rubs a smudge on the
top with his thumb. After a moment, he nods his head. "I'll try."

"Listen, I am not saying to not be yourself with her. I mean, no one can deny you guys have always
had a fiery kind of chemistry with one another."

Some would call it toxic, but who was he to judge?

"So keep the fiery discourse, just without the sting of cruelty, anger, blame, or prejudi..."

"I get it, Nott, don't be a prick."

Theo pats him once on the back. "Precisely!"

He stands up and stretches his limbs above his head.

"Now, there is still a lot of work to do. We need to clean and cover all her external wounds, and I
need to research a couple areas I'm not sure about, like her missing tooth. And the kit needs to be
restocked. I think we should wake her up and give her a Dreamless Sleep Potion; it's a more
healing kind of sleep."

Draco stands up, and they both make their way back out to Granger to start. He explains to Draco
how he believes she had a seizure before he Flooed in and that they should both keep an eye out for
the warning signs. More than likely, they would occur again.

Theo lays out all the ingredients and potions he needs to finish his work on Granger. They both
start on the tasks and continue to work in silence for a long time, knowing they both need to rest
soon.

He works on her lower half, while Draco works on her upper half. He keeps a large and broad
diagnostic charm over her vital signs to ensure nothing is going on internally. As he works, Theo
makes a mental list of all the things he needs to restock from the potions room. The list is much
longer than his four from earlier.

"I still have a scar from it on the side of my nose. It's small, but it's there. Don't tell anyone, but it's
my favorite too. I could have drunk a potion to relieve the pain and heal the small cut to ensure it
didn't scar, but I didn't want to. Kind of makes me a masochist, doesn't it, Granger..." Draco is
saying all this, barely a whisper, as he continues to treat her wounds with his right hand. He twirls a
piece of her hair in his other. Theo doesn't know if he is aware he is saying any of it aloud.

Draco picks up her right hand and looks closely at the knuckles for a moment before a genuine
smile appears on his face, and Theo swears he sees a slight glint of silver appear in his eyes.

"Seems like we are one and the same, Granger." He rubs the knuckle of her middle finger for a
moment before gently placing it back down and continuing the work of healing her wounds.

He continues to barely whisper stories to her. Funny stories, like when he had watched Ronald
receive that howler during dinner or when he had been such a pussy when he was rightfully kicked
by that beast during Hagrid's class. Some intellectual stories, like how he had created the charm for
his final project in class 5th year, the only assignment in their too-short school careers that Draco
had ever scored higher than her.

Then, some absolutely pointless and nonsensical stories and sentences that Theo can't follow or put
together. "It needs the soft lavender smell, you'll have to tell me, and I'll get it... Mrs. Teelee's
chamomile too... You need to stay... how... The Carrow's deal may... muggle jeans and those awful
shoes you call sneakers too. You really did need a new pair Granger; they were falling apart...
fewer freckles; the sun will help... Need to be favored... safety..."

"Draco," Theo hates interrupting this moment, but he has to.

Healing really is way too intimate for me...

Draco blinks and shakes his head slightly like he is coming out of a trance.

"I think we have done everything we can tonight."

He wants to give himself a metaphorical pat on the back as he looks down at the Golden Girl.

She is far from being golden again, but she isn't red anymore. She looks 100 times better than
when he had found her. The dittany and murtlap would continue to heal her skin, and the skele-gro
would help form her rib slowly. All in all, she looks like she is going to recover nicely. Lots of new
scars, but Theo knew the girl was privy to them after her encounter with Bellatrix last year.

If that didn't break her, these new ones won't either.

Well... at least the external ones wouldn't.

Internal scars are much harder to heal...

Theo stands up and waves his wand to clean up the area.

"I will run down to the potion room and fill the kit. We'll give her the potions when I get back." He
picks up his kit and puts the empty bottles inside to fill. "Can you get her off my floor and into
some clothes while I'm gone?"

Draco nods once, playing with a curl of her hair.

"Okay, I'll be back." Theo walks through the manor, too tired to even correctly count his steps as
he opens the door to the potion room.

It is a large room with floor-to-ceiling shelves with an assortment of supplies.

"Okay... dittany, murtlap, deflation drought, dreamless sleep, draught of peace, pain suppressant,
blood-replenisher, gauze, maybe some bruise..." He keeps listing off items as he fills his bag.

Minutes later, he looks down and runs through his mental list again.

Check... check... check... check...

He looks up, and his eyes fall on a potion. A contraceptive potion. One that was good for 30 days
if he remembered correctly.

He grabs it and throws it into his bag.

Her choice. Just in case they aren't able...

He shakes his head. No, they would be able to make sure that never happened to her again.

How?

He opens the door back into his rooms and walks into the bedroom. Draco pulled up one of his
largest Victorian chairs next to the bed and is sitting in it. He leans his elbows onto his knees and
watches the girl lying on the mattress.

The bloody possessive prick put his clothes on her... That sounds about right.

"Anything change?"

"No."

"Good," he says as he places the bag on the end of the bed and pulls out the dreamless sleep and
vitamix potions. "Okay, like I said, give her some space, and let's make this quick. Her body needs
to rest."

He nods as Theo pulls out his wand and casts the counterspell. Granger's eyes open slowly, out of
focus for a moment, until she blinks.

She sits up quickly, looks between Theo and Draco, and then down at her body that is covered to
almost her knees by one of Draco's t-shirts, and then her eyes focus around her.

"Floor," she whispers and starts pushing herself off the bed. Theo and Draco share a look, both not
knowing what to do as she slides down onto the floor and curls, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"Granger, what the fu..."

"Do you want to stay on the floor?" Theo gives Draco a look before turning his attention back to
her.

She nods her head quickly back and forth.

"Okay, then you can stay on the floor. Listen real quick, how are you feeling? You are probably
still feeling some pain in your right side, hip, and face, but rather than that, any other intense pain?"

She shakes her head and whispers, "breathing doesn't hurt anymore."

"Good, well, I'll take that as a compliment," Theo casts a cushioning charm under her on the
ground. "Everything else is healing now, Granger, it'll take some time, but you should be feeling
better every day. But you need to rest. I have a vitamix and a dreamless sleep potion if you want to
take them."

He places the two bottles in front of her face, giving her the option to decide what to do.

"I..." He hesitates, looking up at Draco, who is staring in disbelief down at Granger.

You are brave, Theo. That blonde doesn't scare you.

"I also grabbed a contraceptive potion. One that you drink, and it lasts for a month. If you want..."
He makes eye contact with Draco and sees the anger.
 Correction, the blonde does scare you.

"She doesn't need that."

"Don't tell me what I need, Mal..." Both of their heads quickly drop down to her at the sound of the
classic Granger to Malfoy fiery retort. She doesn't finish it, though. Before she can, she hides her
face in the crook of her arm and begins to cower.

Theo watches as Draco's face goes from bewitched to disbelief in seconds. He looks up at Theo
with defeat.

Brother, it is going to take time...

He leaves the potion next to the other two and takes a step back. It is a few minutes before she
moves, reaches out, and drinks all three vials.

They wait to watch her eyes close as the potions kick in. Draco moves next to him, grabs the large
duvet and one of his pillows off of his bed, and drapes the blanket over Granger. She looks up and
stares at him.

"May I?" He asks, a very un-Draco-like thing to do. She looks at the pillow in his hand and gives
him a slight nod. He leans down, places his hand in the crook of her neck, and raises her head to
put the pillow underneath her head.

"Goodnight, Granger," Draco whispers as he pulls his hand out from under her head.

"I'm still glad you are alive."

He lets a small smile show at the could-be joke.

And Theo doesn't miss the flash of silver as she looks up at him and rolls her eyes.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - This chapter has some explicit sexual abuse images. The next few chapters are
very dark, but are needed to understand where Hermione has been, and what she has
been going through.
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

She doesn't dream. She doesn't see anything. No pictures, images, or memories play out inside her
head as she sleeps, but the voice doesn't stop.

"Mrs. Teelee's chamomile..."

"The same Granger..."

"Keep you safe..."

"This freckle's my favorite..."

"Find your gold again..."

"I even like your snores, don't tell Blaise..."

"No, actually, this one's my favorite..."

Sometimes the voice stops for a while, but it always comes back again.

"Hate this bloody, gaudy piece-of-shit chair..."

"Merlin's tits, shut the fucking door when you use the bathroom..."

"Tell him we have to re-schedule. I'm not having them around her..."

"Theo, fuck off, I've slept. I'm not moving."

"Listen, mate, she is out; just go lay down for an hour or two. You've been sitting in that chair or
lying on the floor for two days. If you don't recall, I did save her life. I think I am quite capable of
sitting here and making sure she continues to breathe."

"I said fuck off."

"Shit, I forgot how much of a joy you are in the mornings. Have it your way. I'm going to go make
some food. You want anything?"

"No."

"A big pancake with a chocolate syrup smiley face coming right up!"

She hears a door shut.

She's awake but decides to keep her eyes closed.

She hears someone shuffling somewhere above her.

"He is insufferable at times, Granger, but he can bloody cook."

He is talking to me? Does he know I'm awake?

His voice sounds a lot like the one from when you were sleeping.

You know that voice...

Slytherin.

Obnoxiously bright blonde hair.

With a personality sometimes as ugly as his appearance was attractive.

You punched him once.

He watched you be tortured another.

You secretly have called him your frenemy for quite some time.

Malfoy.

"You two are a lot alike, actually; I think you'll get along pretty well. He is an easy bloke to like
once he lets you in."

His voice stops, and she feels the blanket around her move closer to her chin.

She has to be dreaming. Or hallucinating. She has done that before. She had hallucinated all kinds
of scenarios and scenes in her mind that she convinced herself were real.

Of Harry and Ron saving her.

Of sitting at her favorite table in the library at Hogwarts, with a large cup of her favorite tea.

Of watching her parents garden in the backyard together.

A hallucination of Malfoy talking to her as she sleeps, very comfortably, she might add, is new.

But it feels good.

No, it feels great, and she doesn't care that it isn't real. She feels great, if only for a few short
minutes before he comes back and begins to destroy her all over again.

She will play along for as long as she can.

"He is right, though; I'm not a morning person. Growing up, my mother scheduled me these
fucking awful dancing lessons at 7:30 in the morning. She said it was good to get my blood moving
for the rest of the day. I think that's what set me on this course for hating mornings. I still wake up
thinking I will have to waltz with a walking corpse of a woman for two hours straight some
mornings for just a few seconds before I remember."

"They worked, though; you are a good dancer." It comes out all broken and raspy like she hasn't
spoken in days. She keeps her eyes shut, though, afraid to break the illusion.

There is silence for a long time after she voices her thoughts. She thinks the hallucination must be
over until he finally speaks again.
"How would you know?"

It isn't said cruelly. It has a hint of humor in it with a bit of wariness.

"The Yule Ball, back in 4th year. You were one of the only boys there who knew how to actually
dance. It stood out."

"What, Krum couldn't dance?"

"Oh, gods no! Many people thought I was crying afterward because of what Ron said to me, but it
was really because Viktor stepped on my toes 23 times that night." She lets out a little giggle in
between breaths. "And if you remember, he was a bigger bloke, so it really hurt."

She hears him scoff from above her, and she smiles again.

This is nice.

I like this hallucination.

You have always felt more alive when close to Malfoy. Like a spark is lit in your belly.

She can feel it even in this illusion.

She hears him shuffle and sees a shadow cast over her closed eyes. He must be kneeling next to
her. She feels his hands touch the side of her face. His skin is cold, but she feels herself turn her
cheek into it.

It feels great.

Refreshing.

"Granger, open your eyes."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not ready for this to be over."

A pause.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not ready to go back. I don't ever want to go back."

"Back to where?"

"Back to him."
Another pause.

"Who?"

"Please, just let me stay here a bit longer."

Another pause that lasts longer than the others.

"Okay, what do you want to do?"

"Listen to you. I like listening to you."

He scoffs. "Maybe this isn't real."

"Tell me another story. A happy one."

"I don't have too many of those, Granger."

"Please?"

Another pause.

"I was pissed the entire Yule Ball, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the drunkest I've ever been. Tried firewhiskey for the first time that night. As soon as
Parkinson showed up squealing like a pig, I knew I needed to be inebriated to make it through the
night."

She laughs.

"She does have a pig-like squeal sometimes. You were still the best dancer there, even pissed. Why
did you go with her if you didn't want to?"

"Like I had a choice in the matter, Granger. Parkinson and I used to fool around every once in a
while during 4th, 5th, and a bit of 6th year, so she informed me I was obligated to go with her."

She rolls her eyes even though they are closed.

"So you got sex, and she got arm candy?"

"I'm arm candy, huh?"

"Oh please, Malfoy, you know you're attractive."

"Yes, I do. I just didn't realize that was something we agreed upon."

"Your looks have never been your problem."

"No?"

"No."

"Then what is my problem?"

He is teasing her.
That fire in her belly is growing.

"Your personality."

She hears him let out a quick laugh.

"Oh, come on, be honest, Granger. You love my personality, and even the parts you don't like. You
love not liking them."

Her heart skips at the transparent and accurate words he says.

You know he's right.

You enjoy the moments he is a tosser because they give you a chance to feel on fire...

But I will never admit that.

Why not? None of this is real anyway?

"True."

He doesn't say anything back to her at that.

Damn it, the hallucination was over. Hermione squeezes her eyes shut as hard as she can, bracing
for his hard-callused hands to grab her.

But they never come.

Instead, cool hands find her cheek again.

"Granger, who do you not want to go back to?"

She is so confused. That isn't his voice. This isn't his hand touching her. This is still Malfoy.

What kind of game is he playing?

Whatever it is, the safest thing to do is keep your mouth shut.

Don't anger him.

Your job is to keep him happy, remember, pet?

I need to keep him happy.

"Who do you need to keep happy?"

Damn, she must have said that out loud.

"You, Master."
A pause. Was he going to hit her? Burn her? Drag her back to the chains? How can she rectify this?
How can she make him happy?

I'll do anything to make you happy.

"Who do you think I am?"

She is so confused.

"The... the man I lll... lo... love."

She knows she is in trouble now. The floor was not this soft, so she must have fallen asleep in the
bed without his permission. And her voice just faltered on the one word she had to say
convincingly to ensure his kindness.

What is he going to do to me this time? Take another tooth?

She feels her body start to shake, and her breathing becomes more difficult.

"Fuck Granger, open your eyes. He isn't here. You're safe."

She can't because they are sealed shut. Her eyes roll into her head, and her tongue slides down into
her throat, closing her airways. She can't breathe.

"Granger! Granger! Fuck Theo!"

She hears footsteps.

"On her side, on her side Draco now! She's having a seizure."

She feels her body tilt, her tongue follows the forces of gravity, and she can breathe again.

"What the hell happened?"

"She... she thought she was dreaming, we were talking, and I think she thought she woke up to
someone else."

"Who?"

"That's what I was trying to find out!"

"Okay, okay, shit well, let's not push her, okay? Seizures can cause brain damage after a while."

"She could have brain damage?"

"I don't know! I'll run a diagnostic after this is over."

"Fuck!"
Something smashes onto the floor.

"Draco, you aren't helping! Occlude for Merlin's sake."

Her body is still shaking, but she can breathe through the spasms now that she is on her side.
Warm, soft hands are stroking the back of her neck and shoulder blades.

"So Granger, do you want to hear about the priceless, once in a lifetime, will never be seen again
by the wizarding world artifact Draco just broke because bloody hell do I want to talk about it."

The hands hold her back, and she recognizes the voice as Theo Nott's.

You heard that voice before, remember?

He saved you.

Was that real?

Doesn't sound like something that would be real. You've never even said a word to the bloke; why
would he save you?

"It was a 4th-century telescope charmed to categorize the astrological formations and signs. It was
done by the one and only Wilford Arrowatt, one of the greatest wizards in history, as I'm sure you
know, Granger. With that telescope, he opened up the wizarding world to a new way to view the
stars. And Draco just destroyed it in a temper tantrum. And yes, you prick, that is going on the
plaque!"

Her eyes start to roll back, and she can feel her spasms lessen. The hands on her back slowly place
her on the ground. When she opens her eyes, she sees one green eye and one very purple eye.

Master has brown eyes.

"Where am I?" She raises her upper body with her elbows and feels sore and achy spots all over
her. Her whole body feels like a bruise.

The room is large, with a Floo fireplace to the right. A sizeable ornate rug is before it, with one
maroon velvet chair next to it. The matching one was pulled right beside her as she lays on the
floor. There is a massive four-poster canopy bed with heavy-looking green drapes falling down the
posts to her left. The wall behind it is covered in small items with no clear theme.

I have never been in this room before.

Why are you in this room?

Why aren't you with him?

Is this another game? He doesn't like this game. It makes him furious.

Your job is to make him happy, not furious.

I have to get back to him.

Theo is saying something to her, but the fearful thoughts are all she can hear.

"Please take me back to him if you are allowed."

Theo pauses his dialogue at her words and looks at her with disbelief. Movement from her right
catches her eye, and she sees Malfoy walking closer to her, eyes locked on hers. She doesn't dare
look away.

"What did you just say?"

Malfoy is mad at her. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Is she supposed to keep him happy too?
Like Theo's father and the Carrow?

What am I supposed to do, Master? You didn't tell me. What will make you happy?

"T-take me back to my Master... please."

"Who is your..."

"Granger, do you remember where you were before waking up in this room?"

She turns her attention back to Theo. "Yes."

"Where were you?"

Don't lie. Lying always makes it worse.

"With your father."

Theo glances up at the man behind her. They exchange a look that they must understand, but she
has no clue what it means. He looks back down at her, and his eyes shift back and forth, making
his mind up about something.

"What do you remember about my father?"

No.

You do not talk bad about them.

You are to keep them happy.

You didn't keep him happy when you bit a piece of his ear off, did you?

No, but it made me happy.

Yeah? And how did that turn out for you?

Bad...

Yeah, that's an understatement. It is better to just give in pet.

It is better to keep them happy.

"I was given to him to make him happy."

"Who gave you to him?"

"My Master."

"Who is your Master?"

I am so tired of trying to figure out this new game...

"Why am I here?" She looks from Theo to Malfoy, assuming that this was the same game he had
made her play with Theo's father and the others. But usually, she would be tied up by now. "Am I
here as part of the game? Are you two a part of the game?"

"What game?"

"The game where he gives me to others for a little while. To remind me of how much I love him."

Theo slumps back on his arse at her words, looking lost and horrified. His mouth moves like he is
speaking, but nothing is coming out.

"Okay, Granger, look at me," his commanding voice makes her jump, and she turns automatically
and looks into his grey eyes.

They used to be silver...

"Draco..."

"Shut up, Nott. Your way isn't working."

He steps up to her and bends down to grab her by her shoulders, not roughly but sternly. She gasps
a breath of air as she finds his face inches away from her own.
He is the one who's in charge.

He is the one you are to make happy.

But it's Malfoy...

He's a Death Eater.

No, he isn't. I can trust him...

What does that mean?

I... I don't know. I don't know where that came from.

He's a Death Eater. Make him happy.

....Okay.

He is just staring at her, looking from one eye to another. She watches him as her stomach churns.
Knowing he wants her to be willing, wants her to make the first move, and as she watches his eyes
shift to her lips for a fraction of a second, she knows her suspicions are correct. He is who she is
supposed to make happy. She does what she has been trained to do.

I hate this...

No, you don't.

This isn't me...

Make him happy, pet.

She closes her eyes and leans forward in a breath. She feels her lips brush against his for a second
before he yanks himself away, and throws her back onto the ground. She yells out as pain shoots up
from her leg and side, and she lands on her arse on the floor.

"What the fuck?!"

He's mad. He's mad. He's mad.

Nonononononono...

What did she do wrong? Was he like Theo's father and did not want to kiss her lips? She was a
filthy Mudblood in his eyes. Of course, he didn't want to kiss her. He wanted to hurt her, not kiss
her.
Idiot, idiot, idiot.

She looks up, and he is standing there, eyes wide and anger making his whole body shake. His
hand is up, covering his mouth, trying to wipe her filthy Mudblood lips off of his face.

You just put your Mudblood lips on the lips of wizard royalty.

I'm dead.

She launches her body at his feet and grabs onto his ankles as tears start to stream down her face.
She needs to fix this. She needs to make him happy. She starts whimpering out through her tears,
cries of apologies, and an endless line of sorries as she works her hands up his legs. Her hands are
shaking, and her vision is tunneling as she reaches his waist and loops her fingers into his
waistband.

Fix this before it gets worse.

It always gets worse.

"I am so sorry, sir! Please, please, forgive me. Please forgive the Mudblood. I'll make it better. Let
me make it better. I can make you happy. I want to make you happy. Tell me please, sir, how to
make you happy."

She starts to pull his waistband down with her hands to give her access, but to her surprise, he
abruptly brings his whole body down and wraps his arms around her, pulling her against his chest
as they fall onto the ground. She tries to fight his grip, but he holds her tight. She can't do anything
through the spasms and tremors and instead curls up in his lap and between his arms, focusing
solely on the weight being placed on her shaking limbs. She is consumed by the size of his body.
She feels so small in his arms as her crying increases and his arms tighten in response.

So small.

So safe...

Safe?

Yes, I feel safe.

Why?

I... I don't know.

His face falls down into the crook of her neck, and she curls her twitching arms in further, finding
herself pushing her entire being hard against his chest.

"I am so sorry, I... I am so so sorry."

She buries her head into his chest as his voice breaks and takes in his fresh and muted smell of
mint as she continues to fall apart.

"You are safe. You are safe. We aren't going to hurt you. You do not have to make us happy. I
want to make you happy. Fuck, wanting you to be happy, safe, and away from all of this is the only
thing I am breathing for, Granger."

His body starts to shake as the words spill out of him. With each one, she feels her heart cracking.
Are they true? They sound true. Neither of them had used her, had they? There was the
swallowing, but that hadn't been what she thought it was. They were potions, not...

Are you sure?

I'm not sure of anything. You make sure of that.

Who?

You.

And who am I?

You're...

I'm you, pet.

No, I'm...

"He is never going to touch you again. I promise. Whoever he is. He is never going to touch you
again. This is real. What is happening right now, what happened a couple of days ago, what
happened earlier: the healing, and sleep, and dance lessons, and the Yule Ball it is all real,
Granger."

It wasn't a hallucination. No, it had to have been, but that doesn't make sense. Malfoy was there
then, and he is here now. And the other, he is nowhere in sight.

Come on, think rationally here.

Your purpose isn't to think, remember, just make him happy.

But I... I used to be good at thinking.

Used to... not anymore. Make him happy.

 I don't want to.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't.

"Wherever you have been, whatever they have been doing to you, it is over now. No more games,
no more Masters, no more being used, you hear me? You're free, Granger."

I'm free? I'm Gran...

No, you're not, don't fall for this, not again...

This isn't like last time. It's Malfoy.

And?

And I... I trust him.

"I... I believe you."

His body freezes, and he raises his face off her neck and straightens his back. His grip tightens
around her body slightly. He looks down at her, and she looks up at him.

She believes him. It is the only thing that makes sense. They had saved her. Theo's father had her in
that room, and Theo had come in and saved her. She was in his room now. They had healed her
body. She was dying, but they had healed her body. Malfoy had been beside her the whole time
talking to her. He spoke to her earlier. He made her laugh. He made her roll her eyes. He made her
smile. He didn't call her 'pet' or 'toy.' He called her Granger.

Granger.

Hermione Granger.

She is Hermione Granger.

I'm Hermione Granger.

"Dolohov. He's Antonin Dolohov."

Chapter End Notes

TW!!! - images of sexual abuse, physical abuse and mental abuse.

 Antonin
Chapter Notes

So.... I can assume from the chapter title, you all can imagine this one is dark. Please,
prepare yourselves. Perspective of a sociopath discussing his actions of sexual, mental,
and emotional abuse.

There is a summary of this chapter in the end notes. If you would prefer to read that.

TW!!- Physical and sexual abuse discussed.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

He is missing part of his ear.

He is sure of it. Yes, the bottom is completely gone. Theodore Nott's hand comes up to cover the
evidence, and he blinks.

"Antonin?"

"Apologies, my Lord."

He looks to his right at Voldemort, who is sitting at the head of the table. His large snake curls
around the chair protectively like she had been doing ever since the Battle of Hogwarts.

Even the damn snake knows something is wrong.

He looks closer at his Dark Lord, taking in the skin that seemed to be becoming more translucent
every day. His long fingers resting on the table, intertwined with one another, have no fingernails
anymore, and every couple of seconds, he sees one or two digits twitch. Like one did just now.

The Dark Lord's eyes seem to have a film over them that is more noticeable today than last week.
He was trying to hide it from them, but they all knew something wasn't right; it hadn't been for
over six months.

It looked like his Dark Lord was dying.

"We tried the latest development Mr. Nott and I had procured last night. The subject did not
survive." He just stares at him, waiting for the explanation. "And its mind was gone before the
body gave out. We are both in agreement that adding the unicorn horn dust created the new
setback. We plan to..."

"So nothing. Six months, and still nothing. You disappoint me, Antonin, Theodore..." His deadly
voice travels off, but Antonin knows he is not finished. He had failed him.
You will never have it all to yourself again at this rate.

"Maybe you need a larger incentive. Yeeesssss an incentive to help... motivate you."

"My Lord, the mind is a very unpredictable and unknown area in the field of research. We have
been finding some groundbreaking discoveries and theories and are closer every day, I assure you,
and..."

"Here is your incentive, Antonin."

Voldemort's tongue comes out and licks around his lips as a smile stretches his face. Whatever he
is about to say to him, it is going to be delicious.

"You have six months to succeed in my requests. If you do, I will bind your little toy to you and let
you be its keeper after I am done with it."

He feels himself sit up straighter at that prospect.

Bind it to me...

It would be all mine.

No more sharing.

We could drug it.

Use all those new things we bought right before it was taken away from us.

Get it a nice little leash and collar, and walk it through Diagon Alley.

Make it love us like we love it.

Train it to live on our co...

"If you don't, I will dispose of the Mudblood and you."

Antonin blinks. Seems fair. He had been failing. He deserved this.

"Until then, to continue to motivate you, she shall be given to Theodore. You will continue to have
no interaction with her except the monthly spectacle."

Theodore re-adjusts in his seat across from him. "My Lord, your generosity is overwhelming, but if
I may request for her to be placed elsewhere. I am giving myself wholly to the extermination of the
Mudbloods in Scandinavia and doing this research and experiments. I think her specific field of...
expertise would be used better elsewhere."

It bit the fucker's ear off. I knew it.

My, my, my little pet, do you miss your Master?

Of course, it does.

You will need to talk to it soon. It needs to know the game is changing.

Antonin feels a small smile form on his face as he stares down at his hands. It never would have
done something like that to him. He was special to it. He knew it. He should be. He gave it
everything. It was still alive because of him. He washed it, fed it, kept it warm, made its body do
things it had never done before. Even gave it those books it loved to read when it behaved. It loved
him and needed him.

And he loved it in return. He couldn't remember his life before he had captured it during the Battle
of Hogwarts. What did he do with all his spare time before?

"I'll take her," Amycus Carrow basically jumps out of his seat. Antonin stares him down. Of
course, he would. Carrow had a taste of it weeks ago; at the beginning of the game, the Dark Lord
had started to try to motivate him. He didn't like to share his things.

It is mine...

"I'm sure you would, Mr. Carrow, but in Theodore's hands, he can continue to watch her mind and
test it."

"What about Draco Malfoy?"

What the fuck?

He turns his head down to the end of the table to the female, Alecto Carrow. She is staring back at
him with a challenge in her eyes. She has always been a bitch. His face must show his anger at the
suggestion because the Dark Lord is smiling at him again.

"Does that idea upset you, Antonin?"

"No, my Lord."

"Do not lie. It is quite obvious the thought of young Draco having your toy angers you."

He sits for a moment, needing to be grounded, needing it to help him calm down in the way only it
could.

He places his hand into his pocket, finds the small piece of it, and begins twirling the tooth against
his palm.

How to play this?

How to get what I want?

That prick will not lay his hands on it.

"I believe Draco would unintentionally destroy it, my Lord. It is known that he is quick to anger
and slow to reason since his performance at the Battle of Hogwarts and the safe house raid. He is
young and has not proven himself trustworthy. I think it would be a mistake to entrust him with the
Mudblood."

That is a solid argument. And there is a lot of truth within it as well. Not the real reason his blood
was boiling, and his knuckles are turning white from squeezing his hands into fists. No, but
Antonin knows that the way to persuade a person was to give them their own perceived truth back
at them. And he knew the Dark Lord's trust in Draco was damaged during the incident at the
manor and then again at the Battle of Hogwarts.

The young Malfoy was working tirelessly to get back in his good graces to no success, especially
after killing that Loony Lovegood girl during one of the raids on an Order safe house. He should
have known the Dark Lord wanted her alive. The things they could have done with her...

"Exactly, my Lord. He is young and has made mistakes, but he has continued to improve, has he
not?" The bitch pipes up again.

"His last three raids came back with nothing. How is that an improvement?"

"Does he bring in the leads? No, he just follows what he is given. And as head of the liaison unit in
charge of these proceedings and missions, I can assure you, he does what he is asked with
efficiency, without error, and without question. But that is not why I believe we should hand her
off to him."

Where was she going with this? He presses his thumb into the slight dip of the tooth created by the
roots still attached to each corner. It couldn't be given to Draco. Amycus and Theodore he could
trust to play the game. To let him interact with it when he needed his fix. They also listened to him
on what they were and were not allowed to do to it. Would Draco play along? He knew the answer
was no. He had a history with it. He had a whole past filled with prejudices, anger, and hatred built
up inside him against it. He would destroy it.

No, you need to save it.

"Draco is a legilimens and a very good one from what I hear. Much better than you, Antonin, or
you, Theodore. He could continue to test her mind differently than the countercurse potion the two
of you have been working on to restore what was obliviated. Maybe he will be able to restore that
memory."

Damn it. Checkmate.

What a bitch.
"There is no record in the history of time that shows that a legilimens can restore lost memories,
not one Alecto."

"Is there a record of a potion working as a countercurse against an obliviate?"

He glares at her. She glares back.

He would kill her when the time was right, and she knew it.

"I didn't think so." She breaks eye contact to look back to the Dark Lord, watching the scene play
out.

"I can attest that my young nephew is as good of a legilimens as I am due to my training and has
had a… how do I say… dark fixation on the Mudblood my Lord, similar to Antonin. I saw her
during the training of the young boy many times in his memories, always mixed with extreme
emotions of anger, hatred, and lust. The perfect combination for the role you need someone to play
with the Mudblood."

Bellatrix is a bitch too. Why couldn't that witch stay dead?

The snake curls its large head into Voldemort's lap, and he reaches down and caresses it back and
forth as he smiles at them all.

Shit, he likes this idea.

"Give me your arm, Antonin."

His finger carefully releases the piece of it in his pocket and rolls up his sleeve to give his Lord
access to what he wants.

He places his arm on the table in front of him, and he watches as Voldemort places one of his
nailless fingers into the center of his mark.

Antonin flinches as the addictive burn fills his entire body. While he had overheard some of the
Death Eaters complaining about the sensation of their Dark Marks being activated, he savored it. It
was one of the best feelings he had ever felt. Well, second-best for the last six months.

A few moments later, a loud pop is heard at the end of the room.

Antonin looks up to see the young man who had just gone to the top of his list within the last few
minutes. Surprised to see Draco already staring back at him. They both keep staring at one another
as Draco walks up to the table. After a moment, Antonin watches him blink slowly, shaking his
head slightly, and then open his eyes again. He looks up at the Dark Lord.

"You summoned me, my Lord."

He bends down to one knee and bows his head low before rising again.

"Yes, it seems I have new use of you."

"I am at your service."

"You have failed me before, young Draco. A few too many times for my generosity to keep
continuing."

"I will not fail you again, my Lord. I promise that to you."

What a fucking prick.

You are giving it to him? To this barely even a man? He won't know what to do with my beautiful
creation. Won't have a fucking clue how to take care of it, how to use it, and make it make those
noises that...

"Good. We acquired a rather valuable asset from The Order some time ago. The Potter's Mudblood,
do you remember her?"

Antonin watches as not a hint of surprise crosses Draco's face at the Dark Lord's words.

"Yes, my Lord, I remember her."

Why is he not surprised?

"She was obliviated before her capture. I would like that memory restored."

"And by what means would this be done, my Lord?"

"With your skills in legilimency. I believe it may be possible, and I would like you to figure out
how."

"Of course."

No questions? No hesitation? Something is off about this.

"Splendid. She is currently within Nott Manor. Feel free to do with her as you please; just ensure
her mind and body are still intact for my needs."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Oh and Draco, I will require her and you the last day of this month."

"Yes, my Lord. If I have any progress, I will inform you immediately."

"Thank you, young Draco. I look forward to seeing how you handle this second chance."

Voldemort turns his attention to the members of his inner circle once more.

"That is all for this evening. Please return to your posts."

The members start to disperse in different ways and forms. Antonin stands up quickly and walks
straight to the blonde, speaking with the senior Nott.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He grabs the front of Draco's robes and pulls him down to look
him straight in the eyes.

You know something is wrong with this. I do; he is going to kill it.

We can't have that.

We need it.

We need it.

For a fraction of a second, Antonin thinks he feels the young man's body tense as their eyes meet,
but before he can be sure, Draco relaxes and looks down at the hand fisting his robes and back up
to Antonin's face.

"Dolohov, always a pleasure."

He takes a hand and nudges at the ball of fabric Antonin is holding, seeming extremely bored at the
altercation.

"You prick, answer my question. I know something is off about how this shit just went down. I
know it. So you better tell me what the fuck is going on..."

"Or what, Dolohov?"

It isn't a challenge. He wishes it was a challenge. That way, he would have an excuse for sinking
his fist into that obnoxious face. No, instead, Draco sounds inconvenienced by Antonin's words.
He brushes off the front of his robes and straightens his shoulders, suddenly towering over him.

How do I play this to get what I want?

Put your desires before pride, Antonin.

You need to work with him to get what you want because he has it whether you like it or not. He
owns it.

Temporarily, we'll get it back.

Hopefully.
"I'm just concerned, is all. You have no idea what you just got yourself into. I have been training
that Mudblood for the last six months, and there are some things you should probably know if you
want to be successful in this mission."

"Like?"

"There is quite a bit, would you mind if we go somewhere more private? The Mudbloods'
information is precious."

Draco lets out a quick breath and looks up at the ceiling. "Fine. Mr. Nott, I will be picking the girl
up after this meeting."

"Bloody take her. If I never see that bitch again, it will be too soon."

"Theodore, watch your mouth," the words leave Antonin before he can stop them.

Nobody talks about my pet like that.

A treasure, that's what it is.

Bitch was a word to describe females like the fucking Carrow and Bellatrix, not his pet.

Theodore looks over at Antonin with utter disgust. He knew his co-worker disagreed with how he
chose to use it, but Antonin didn't care what old, washed-up, drunk Theodore Nott thought about
him.

"Dolohov, let's go."

He turns his head to see the blonde walking out of the large dining room and into the hallway. He
catches up in a few strides and takes the lead.

"This empty hallway is not private enough for you?"

"No, anyone could walk from two different directions, and our voices travel. Aren't you the
strategist for your unit? You should bloody know this."

Antonin hears Draco let out an annoyed grunt from behind him.

"I do know. I just have little desire to spend any more time in your presence. And I highly doubt the
information is this valuable or secretive. I know you are only taking me away to inquire about how
amicable I will be to your wants to keep in contact with Granger."

"Granger?"

He hears Draco stumble over something in the hallway. Must have found a crease in the rug.

"Her name. You know her name, correct?"

Oh, that is right, it did have a name before him, didn't it? He remembers its first name starting with
an H. Hellen? Hannah? Harriet? No, that isn't it. Hannah Granger. Yes, Hannah Granger sounds
right.
"I don't have a lot of use for its actual name, Draco."

He pauses and takes a few steps right into an alcove with floor-to-ceiling windows off the hallway.

"You will see sooner than later that it has been trained to be more than just a prisoner of war or a
mind to be tampered with."

How much do I share?

He doesn't deserve all of its tricks and amazing talents.

Give him the bare minimum. Even that will keep a young man like him entertained for a while.
Long enough for you to get it back.

"I'm listening."

"It was put into my care after I captured it at the Battle of Hogwarts. Training it has been my main
priority the last six months."

"Not creating a countercurse potion? I am sure the Dark Lord would love to hear that."

What a prick.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," is all he says in retaliation. Let the man think he
knows what's going on and what he had been assigned to create. "The training isn't complete, there
is still a lot of work I plan to do, but the training I have done thus far has sunk in quite successfully.
I do not want you screwing up all of that hard work, you hear me? It will be easier for both you and
me if you allow me to come with you now and speak with it to ensure it is aware of its
expectations. This would allow you a demonstration of the training I have done as well, which I
think a young man like you will enjoy at his disposal."

Antonin looks carefully for any sign from Draco. He expected curiosity, excitement, intrigue, lust,
or something. Instead, Draco stands before him frozen, looking at a spot above Antonin's head, not
blinking, utterly still.

Maybe he's gay? He is always hanging out with Theodore's disappointment of an offspring.

"No."

Before he can react or try to convince him, the twat apparates. Antonin stands there staring at the
spot he used to be, his anger building throughout his body, causing everything to shake.
 He has it.

He has it.

It's mine.

Mine...

He needs to release this. How dare he? He was going to ruin it. He just knew it. He turns and
smashes his fists against the panes of the large windows. He watches his heavy breathing fog the
glass and looks at his reflection in the mirror, slowly unbuttoning his robes and pulling the
neckline down.

There they are.

He looks down at the small bruises all over his upper body it had placed on him with its mouth just
days ago. He could still spot all seven of them even though all but one are almost faded.

That one. The one directly over his heart. That one it gave him months ago. He had magically
sealed it to his body to never fade. To never shrink. To always be there. It had a matching one in
the same place. Their marks for each other.

He raises his hand and gently caresses the area.

Remember how you taught it to do this?

How it had responded to you, leaving the same marks all over its body.

Remember how you ensured there wasn't a piece of it that had not been marked by you months
ago?

Yes...

He feels the front of his trousers start to become tighter as he is lost in the memories.

"Fuck," he says as he readjusts himself and heads back to apparate with Theodore.

He had to get it back, and soon.

And he knows there is only one quick way to do that.

He needs to find the fucking Weasley.

Chapter End Notes

Antonin Dolohov is taking part in a meeting with the Dark Lord, and is daydreaming
about his lost pet, Hermione.
He is brought out of his thoughts and assures the Dark Lord that the projects he has
placed on him dealing with his pet he will succeed in.
As punishment for not succeeding yet, she was taken away from him to motivate him
further, and given to Amycus Carrow and Nott Sr.
The Dark Lord deems to keep her away from him as to get results quicker, but Nott sr.
Asks for her to be given to someone else as he has no desire for her.
Alecto Carrow speaks up and suggests Draco Malfoy to be the mudbloods keeper. As
he could try and find the lost memory since he is a skilled legilimens.
This infuriates Dolohov, and the only way to calm himself is by playing with
Hermione’s tooth he has in his pocket.
Draco is called upon and given her and the assignment.
Dolohov confronts Draco, trying to make him amicable to allowing him secret time
with his pet.
Draco says no.
Dolohov loses it and then calms down after unbuttoning his shirt, and looking at the
love bite she gave him that he had magically sealed to his skin above his heart. And
tells us she has a matching one.
The chapter ends with his vowing to get her back, and the only way he can do that is
through finding the Weasley.
 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He floos into the entryway of Nott Manor instead of taking it directly into Theo's rooms. If she was
asleep, he didn't want to wake her. She had been sleeping most of the five days since Theo found
her, and he knew she needed it.

He walks up to Theo's rooms, feels the heavy wards recognize him and opens the door. He and
Theo had been warding the area almost obsessively since they healed her. Theo always had the
rooms protected to ensure his father, the house elves, and any other unwanted person had no access
to the only place in the world Theo felt genuinely safe. But they both agreed they needed to add
more now that she was here.

He walks straight to Theo's bedroom, which had been transformed into Granger's over the last
couple of days. She is still asleep. Still on the damn floor, but at least she is sleeping.

"Not to sound like a naggy wife, but where the hell have you been?"

Draco looks up and pokes his head out of the bedroom doorway to see Theo coming out from the
kitchen with a food tray.

"Out."

Theo gives him a half-smile and shakes his head, walking past him into the room.

"You all call me a hoarder, but I swear if you have brought back more stuff for Granger, that title
will be transferred to you."

At that, Draco takes multiple tiny packages out of the pockets of his robes and waves his wand to
grow them back to their original size.

"Shit, mate... You have a problem."

"You have no idea."

He starts to pull the items out of the bags. Yesterday he was able to have an almost conscious
conversation with her that lasted about 10 minutes. One of the longest since Theo had found her.
She had been able to answer some of the questions he had. He hoped she had been aware enough to
answer them correctly, or Theo was about to be even more upset.

"Has she woken up since I've been gone?"

He pulls out an enormous Gryffindor red mug he had seen in the shop window that carried her
favorite tea. The cup is much too large for an average person's daily consumption, but not Granger.
He knew she tended to carry a damn mug everywhere, using a warming charm repeatedly
throughout the day, making sure it was never empty. He knew she always placed her cups on a
table next to the books she was lost in to ensure there was no chance of spilling.

He often found her mugs left in the library and always placed them on the librarian's front desk
with a small note with her name on it, knowing she would be back bright and early to find it.
He holds the mug in one of his hands and casts a personally created protection spell he had been
working on over the top of it. It would keep the cup from ever spilling.

She will like that.

Now she can drink and read at the same time.

He places the mug down and pulls out the extremely hard-to-find shampoo he believed she used.
She told him the store that she bought it from, some Muggle store in the heart of London, but
Granger couldn't tell him the name of the exact one she preferred. He currently had a horrible
headache from smelling bottle after bottle of shampoo until he smelled the familiar scent of
lavender and vanilla.

"Nope. She's been out. Her dressings need to be changed soon, though, but I would prefer her to
wake up on her own. She seems calmer when she wakes up naturally." Theo says.

Next, he pulls out a stack of books varying in themes and subjects.

"Draco, seriously, I have a whole library. She will have plenty to read."

He doesn't respond to him. He pulls out another stack of books and drops them down next to the
other in a loud thump as he makes eye contact with Theo, daring him to say something.

He grabs the other large bag and walks over to the closet they had emptied for her. While he was a
fan of seeing her in his clothes, he wanted her to have what made her the most comfortable.

He pulls out a couple pairs of the extraordinarily tight and wonderfully taboo to his own
upbringing, Muggle jeans that she was always wearing. She hadn't been able to tell him her size
beyond medium, and he didn't realize at the time how complex and unnecessary women's sizing
was. Medium was not enough. So he guessed and bought three pairs in four different sizes. He had
done the same with sweaters, blouses, dresses, and shoes.

"Do you need any help?" Theo grabs one of the sweaters out of the bag. "This looks like something
she would wear. She was always wearing big baggy sweaters in the library. It was bloody cold in
there, though."

"She wore them everywhere, not just the library."

Theo shrugs. "Yeah, well, I mostly saw her in the library. We never talked, of course, but around
3rd year, we started this weird ritual of always smiling at each other when we walked by our tables.
You know she was one of the few people who would acknowledge I was alive?"

"That sounds like her."

Theo nods his head and looks back down into the bag. A small laugh escapes through his pressed
lips.

"Draco, I think you forgot a couple of things..."

"What? How?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I am wondering the same thing looking around at all this shit, but you
definitely did."

Draco looks around to the literal piles of objects he had been bringing back to the rooms over the
past two days. How could he have forgotten anything?

"You didn't get her... uhm... ugh... any delicates."

"Delicates?"

"You know, undergarments."

Draco stares at his friend without blinking.

Fuck.

How was he supposed to buy her those items? There was no world where Draco Malfoy would
walk into a female undergarment store and pick out sensitive items for a girl he wasn't having sex
with.

No world ever.

"It's alright, mate. I mean, I'm sure she won't need them too much to stay in my rooms for the next
six months. I don't think there is much point to the pieces anyways, but maybe we should ask
Pansy or Daphne to be sure. Maybe they have ordering catalogs for those pieces too?"

Hell no. Those two can't keep a secret to save their lives.

"No, she can tell us if she wants the items or not. If she wants them, you will be going to get them
for her."

Theo jerks his head back at him as he hangs the last blouse from the bag with a look of terror on his
face.

"Me? Why?"

"I'm not doing it."

"Why not?"

Draco rolls his eyes and waves his wand to clean all the bags off the closet floor. "Because I'm
not."

"Wow, great argument there, Draco. I have no idea how I will ever counter it. Oh yeah, easy, there
is no way in hell I am walking into a negligee shop and picking out pieces for Granger. I would
have no idea where to even begin. And I do not want to live the rest of my life knowing that
intimate information about her."

A moment passes.
"We'll make Blaise do it." They say it in unison. Theo smiles at Draco, and he even lets out a
laugh.

They both make to walk out of the closet when Draco pauses at the sight of a wide-awake Granger.
She is sitting, holding a bowl of soup in one hand and a spoon halfway to her mouth in another.

"Hi."

"Hi." They both say it in unison again.

She smiles up at them as she places the spoon in her mouth.

"The soup is delicious, Theodore."

"Uhm, thanks."

They all just stare at each other awkwardly for a few moments.

"Okay, Granger, how much of that did you hear?" Theo asks.

She quirks her mouth and places the spoon down. "All of it."

Kill me. Kill me now.

"Fucking fantastic," Draco mutters underneath his breath as he closes his eyes and turns his head to
the ceiling. Watch this be one of the first moments she remembers. With his luck, it would be.

Suddenly, he whips his head back down at the sound of her laugh that fills the room.

That's a good sign.

No, that's a great sign.

And she is sitting up and eating.

Seriously the best sign.

Merlin, somehow she is still beautiful.

Her hair has yet to be washed, as she only left the floor to relieve herself in between long marathons
of sleep, but her hair was always wild, so it still fits her. His oversized t-shirt, which he never
planned on washing again, covers many scars, bruises, and dressings all over her body that had yet
to heal completely.

And while her face is still heavily bruised, her eyes are their big brown pools once again. Her nose
is small and button-like, and her lips have a healthy pink tint to them once again. And right now,
they are open, smiling, and letting out one of his favorite sounds in the world. He knows he's
staring. He needs to stop staring, but he can't.
I can't believe you are alive and laughing right now.

"Well, I'm going to go sacrifice myself to Nagini now..." Theo moves over to his large healing kit.
"The recipe for the soup is in the kitchen, in the small brown book next to the spatulas. I leave it to
you, Hermione Granger."

She laughs again, and Draco feels a pinch of anger towards his friend.

Okay, Granger, he's not that funny...

"Well, thank you, Theodore. I appreciate it."

"Hey, no more of this Theodore shit, okay, Granger? I basically created an organ in your body, so I
think we are at a place in our relationship where you can call me Theo."

"Only if you call me Hermione."

Theo walks over, placing the large healing kit next to him as he sits down with her, and extends his
hand with a massive grin on his face.

Fuck, Theo is going to let her touch him.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Hermione."

She lets out another soft giggle and places her hand in his.

"The pleasure is mine, Theo."

They have been shaking hands a bit too long to be cordial, don't you think?

"Theo, the dressings." His friend turns his head to him and gives him a knowing look. Draco is not
in the mood to play along.

"Whatever you say, Draco."

He gives him a salute before pulling out the materials needed to change the dressings over the
wounds still healing.

"Granger, how are you feeling?"

For the first time since he entered the room, she looks up at him. He doesn't know what her
thoughts are as she looks him over. He honestly doesn't know how much of the last five days she
remembers. Hopefully not that disturbing first interaction they had a couple days ago.

It always seemed like she was only half in the present when she was awake, even with the Draught
of Peace. And it had been impossible to have her tell them some of the things they needed to know,
but Theo told him that healing took time and that she would let them know when she was ready.
Draco is pretty sure her sitting up, eating, and laughing were all signs that meant she was ready. He
needs information if he is going to find a way to save her.

"Alive, so you should still be glad, Malfoy."

Oh, so we are making this a thing? Fine by me, Granger.

He can't help the smirk that crosses his face.

"Oh, come on, Hermione, you gotta give the bloke more than that. He deserves it after spending
the last couple of days buying you everything under the sun." Theo hands her a Draught of Peace
and a pain suppressant, and she swallows them both. "And seriously, how are you feeling? It's nice
seeing you sitting up and eating."

"That is all a testament to your healing abilities Theo. I truly feel better than I have in quite some
time, so thank you. Both of you, thank you."

With her last words, she looks from Theo to him. He doesn't know what to do with the unguarded
look she gives him and feels himself switching his weight from one foot to another. She should not
be thanking him. He is the last person in the world she should be saying those words to.

"Of course."

Theo rolls his eyes. "How are your side and hip feeling?"

"Still sore, but nothing above an ache anymore. And my head feels better too. It has been easier to
think clearly since being here."

"Well, I am guessing the environment is more to thank for that than me."

Granger nods her head in agreement and moves the collar of his t-shirt to give Theo access to
undress one of the wounds on her upper chest. Draco finally goes and joins Theo in helping remove
them. They really are healing up nicely. Theo did a great job, a better job than he would have done.
She would have scars, but not as many as he first thought, and with some sun, more would
probably fade.

"May... may I take a bath, please?"

Granger's voice is much softer than before. Almost a whisper and the fear and trepidation are
unmistakable as she says the words. Draco looks up to her face and sees a mirror look to the way
her voice sounds.

No Granger, come back...

Switches like this had happened frequently over the past couple of days. None nearly as extreme as
the first time. But it was impossible to predict when or why they would happen, and Draco felt his
stomach catch in his throat every time.

"Of course, Hermione! You don't have to ask either. I think we have all agreed that this room is
now yours for the next six months. I know I have no desire to move the piles of things this bastard
bought for you. Use and do whatever you like whenever you like. You're safe here."

Theo smiles and looks right into her big brown eyes that are more watery than before.

"Six months?"

Theo flinches and releases her hand, squeezing his eyes shut as he realizes his mistake.

Fuck.

Of course, you would catch that Granger. Fucking Brightest Witch of Our Age...

"We will discuss that after your bath."

"No, we will discuss it now, Malfoy."

She is glaring at him, challenging him.

He sits back on the floor and leans against the bed frame, taking in the fire in her eyes. It is much
better to see than the fear that was there minutes ago.

Why are you smiling?

Stop smiling, you prick.

"Well, Granger, it looks like we both have questions for each other, so why don't you answer mine
first, and then I'll answer yours." Before she has time to respond with another riled-up request, he
continues. "I only ask that you share first because your information is much more valuable and can
affect my own greatly."

She takes a minute to think that over, never taking her eyes off him. She isn't happy. She never
liked to back down from him.

"Cockroach." It's a whisper, almost like she is trying to hide what she said by letting out a breath,
but he hears it all the same and finds himself smiling again.

"Fine, but I will need to ask some clarifying questions along the way."

"Be my guest, Granger."

"How long has it been since the Battle of Hogwarts?"

"6 months, 7 days, and 14 hours."

She blinks. That was more precise than she had expected.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I thought... I just... It feels like it has been longer."

They all let that hang in the air between them, no one really knowing what to say next.

"Okay, so six months ago, Dolohov captured me during the last moments of the battle. He..."

The fact that she was only two sentences into her story, and was already having to pause due to the
emotional impact of the events she was about to share, makes Draco's hands go into fists.

Dolohov.

When he had been summoned to the Dark Lord's meeting with the high seated Death Eaters and
saw the fucker sitting there, he almost cast an Avada on the spot. It took one of the most intense
sessions of occlumency to ground him. He was still trying to break out of some of his walls days
later.

"He took me before He Who Must Not Be Named later. He used legilimency on me and found that
my mind had apparently been obliviated. That where the battle should have been was a pause that
skipped straight to Dolohov capturing me. Mast..."

Draco watches as her throat bobs, and she closes her eyes for a second before continuing.

"Dolohov said that he found me fighting off Death Eaters in the woods during the Battle. I slightly
remember that. And then he knocked me out and took me for his own, knowing who I was."

Draco can feel Theo's eyes on him as she speaks, but he doesn't look up from his hands in his lap.
Giving all of his concentration to keeping the walls up, caging in the memories he does not ever
want coming out again. He doesn't want to feel them. Having her here would be impossible if he
did.

"They took me into a tent afterward. I didn't hear any more of the conversation or plan for me. The
next thing I knew, I was before You Know Who again, and they were performing blood magic of
some sort, and then they must have knocked me out. I awoke with pain around my neck, that is this
damn magic suppressant mark, in a large house I had never seen before and... and that is where I
have been for the last five months. I was very briefly with Amycus Carrow, your father Theo, and
your father Malfoy for some reason that..."

"My father? You were given to my father?"

He feels something warm in his palms as he digs his fingers into the flesh, creating crescent
wounds with his fingernail. His father... If his father...

I can't take this. I can't...

"Yes, but he locked me in a room as soon as Dolohov was done with me, and I didn't see him
again."

Draco finds himself rising and walking from one end of the room to the other, his hands pressing
against his face, trying to keep it all in. Trying to keep it in him.

She had enough to deal with. She had enough to carry. Draco knew if she saw him lose it, saw
what was done to her affect him, consume him, she would feel responsible. That bleeding heart of a
Gryffindor.

"You promise? You promise me he didn't touch you?"

He says it through the hands still pressed against his face.

"Yes, I promise, Malfoy, he didn't touch me."

He takes a moment to build his walls, takes a deep breath before running his hand through his hair,
and joins Granger and Theo back on the damn floor.

"Okay. I apologize."

"You don't need to apologize, Malfoy. It was a fair question to ask. And.." He feels her small warm
hand rest on his leg right above his knee, and his shoulders relax just at the small form of affection.
"And you are allowed to be emotional. It's okay. It won't make me upset, I promise."

Her glorious little hand squeezes his leg. He watches her face as she gives him a soft smile.

Stop making her comfort you bastard. You should be comforting her.

Be stronger.

He gives her a slight nod and braves himself to place his hand above hers.

Please don't stop touching me, Granger. Please don't move your hand, please.

"Continue whenever you're ready."

"Honestly, there isn't much more after that. Dolohov gave me some ridiculous excuse for why I
wasn't allowed to stay with him this last month. I am guessing he did something that made You-
Know-Who angry at him, and taking me away was his punishment. I don't know what it was,
though. I am guessing they have kept me alive due to Dolohov and because they want whatever
information I used to have."

"And also to try to keep The Order at bay, my guess, which has been working from our accounts.
They have barely been active since the Battle of Hogwarts."
Theo hands Granger a vitamix potion as he shares his innocent thoughts, but Draco watches as the
switch happens in Granger. The fear is living in her face again.

"Shit, what did I say? Sorry, Hermione. I am sure Potter and Weasley have been looking
everywhere for you. I mean, we were on the inside and still couldn't find a trace or hint of you until
you turned up in my own home, so I am sure it is even harder on their end..."

"No, they know."

"What?"

"They..."

She closes her eyes to try and hold back the tears, but a few escape. Draco doesn't think before
pulling her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her.

Merlin, I hate to see you cry.

"Is this okay?" He whispers it through the pieces of wild curls between his face and hers.

"Yes, don't let go. Tighter."

He obeys immediately.

"Thank, thank you for asking."

Shit, you should have asked before smothering her...

You don't have a right to her, you fucker. Just because she is yours in your mind. Just because you
have constantly fantasized about her being yours doesn't make that accurate.

She isn't yours.

You are hers, but she doesn't need to know that.

But she said this was okay, take what she will give you.

Yes, what she gives you will be enough.

Anything she gives you is more than you deserve and more than enough.

Anything she gives you is everything.

"I... I should have asked before touching you. I'm sorry."

He feels her turn her face into his chest and breathe in deeply.

"It's okay, Malfoy."

Draco looks up at Theo, remembering they aren't alone in the room, to see the shithead smiling and
giving him two thumbs up. Draco twists one of his hands out from around Granger to give him the
middle finger before twisting it around her again.

"They know that He Who Must Not Be Named still has me and always has because he sends them
his own personal memories of me."

The Dark Lord and his obsession with memories...

"Can you elaborate, Hermione? He has us do something very similar after missions to ensure we
are faithful servants and fulfilling the work. Does he use memories from when Dolohov brought
you and put them in a vial?"

"He sends new ones every month when he has you come before him. Right, Granger?"

The last request from the Dark Lord was making a lot more sense now.

He feels her nod her head in agreement.

"They... they show things that... Do you know if The Order has received any of them?"

Theo and Draco both shake their heads.

"Like I said, no one except the few people you mentioned have any idea that you are even alive.
We had no idea any of this was going on."

Draco feels her body begin to shake slightly and wraps his arms around her tighter than he was
comfortable with, but she seems to like it.

"Theo, hand me another Draught of Peace."

Theo throws him a vial, and Draco pulls away to give it to her. She takes it quickly and swallows
it.

"I... I don't think I'm ready to talk about that yet. If that is okay?"

"Of course. You never have to share anything you are not comfortable with."

He didn't think the exact images The Order had possibly seen would affect his own actions or
plans. What he needed to know was whether they had received them or not. If they had, then they
knew she was alive days ago.

Why hadn't Potter and the Weasley Wanker done anything about it? Did they forget about her?
Used up that magnificent brain of hers and dumped her to be destroyed by the Dark Lord?

"So... you remember nothing of the Battle of Hogwarts?" Draco asks the tentative question,
covered in wariness.
"No, nothing. I remember standing next to McGonagall as she built ward afterward to protect the
school, then the next thing I remember is... him."

How to respond?

He looks up and sees Theo giving him a knowing look. Draco discreetly shakes his head to stop his
friend from saying something he shouldn't.

It wasn't safe for that conversation yet. She has enough she is carrying right now.

I would have to work with her on occluding first.

"Over the past six months, I have gathered, I believe, an overview of the events. The wards were
broken, people fought, and Harry and You Know Who faced off, and then The Order retreated. I
know You Know Who didn't die obviously, and neither did Nagini."

"Why is the snake important?"

It was Granger's turn to freeze. She is holding back information. He knows it. But he'd be damned
if he pressed her for anything at the moment.

"It's not. Just an observation. I, Malfoy... I need to know. Who... who is gone?"

He squeezes his eyes shut. He knew this question was coming, but it didn't make it easier to share
this information. He was about to see her hurt. And he was so fucking sick of having to stand by
and watch her hurt. Or be the one to hurt her.

"Colin, Lavender, Fred, Remus, Nymphadora, my mother, Crabbe, and Snape all were killed during
the battle. Luna, Seamus, Cho, and Goyle have died in the last six months."

One is gone because of you...

No… build the wall.

He feels as the grief takes over her body, grateful she had just taken a potion.

"Oh my gods, oh my gods... gone. They're all just gone."

She quietly sobs into his chest, and they sit in silence for a couple of minutes as they all process the
information shared.

"I'm so sorry you lost your mother, Malfoy."

He nods his head gently against the side of her face in acknowledgment. He honestly doesn't feel
anything at the mention of his mother. He had buried her behind walls months ago. He had to.

Draco feels her take a deep breath and gently push against his chest. He releases his tight hold on
her and lets his hands fall to her waist. She is still in his lap, yet somehow, she has to look up at
him. He never took in how small she was before. He likes it. He likes it a lot.

"Okay, I have to stop crying. I can't keep thinking about it all, so now it's your turn. I know you
have been doing more than buying me things these last two days. And I want to know what this six
months thing is all about. Now."

She emphasizes her last point by poking him in the chest, and then he watches as the switch is
flipped. Her eyes widen at the gesture. Draco lets go, and she crawls out of his lap and into the
space between Theo and him.

"Even in a deep healing sleep, you are more observant than Theo, Granger."

Theo apparently had decided to finish Granger's soup amid the conversation as Draco hears the
spoon drop into the bowl.

"Okay, no need for the Nott slander. You bloody know I was aware you were doing more than
shopping."

"So, what were you doing?"

Draco presses his tongue into the side of his mouth and stares up at the stain in the ceiling Blaise
had made during one of their drunken gambling nights. The fucker refused to clean it.

"Making arrangements."

He hears one male scoff and one female scoff at his response.

Damn it, I most definitely just missed an eye roll.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I was summoned two days ago by the Dark Lord during one of his meetings. You were correct in
your assumption that the Dark Lord is not pleased with Dolohov at the moment. He has been
consistently failing him on a mission that deals with creating a form of a countercurse to bring back
obliviated memories, presumably for you, Granger. He gave him six months to find a solution.
Until then, his punishment is he is not allowed to have you."

He hated talking about her like she was an object. Yes, he knew he was possessive, but he didn't
objectify her. They weren't the same thing in his mind.

"I was suggested as a candidate to take you in due to my ability to use legilimency on you as
another possible form of restoring your memories."

"You're a legilimens?"

He nods his head, "The Dark Lord agreed and informed me of my new duties and mission. And I
informed Dolohov that he will be going nowhere fucking near you ever again."

He watches as she turns her attention back to the ground and wraps her knees inside his large t-
shirt. She keeps staring at the ground, but her eyes are moving back and forth with the thoughts
filling her mind. Theo does something similar sometimes. He changes his attention to his friend,
who had been mostly silent for the conversation, only to see a speculative look.
He isn't buying it.

Damn it.

"There is more you aren't telling us. That all occurred at once. What else have you been doing?
Why did someone suggest you as a candidate for me to be placed with? I highly doubt it was for no
reason."

Why did he associate himself with two of the brightest students in their year, hell in the whole
fucking school?

"I did not push you to share more than you were comfortable with, even though I would like to
Granger. I ask for the same in return."

No way in hell am I telling either of them.

She purses her lips, eyes still traveling back and forth. Finally, she lets out a huff of air.

"Fine. For now. I guess. I have to respect that."

"Thank you."

"So, are you going to be going through my mind then? Using legilimency on me?"

"Yes."

Her body does a slight jerk at his words. A movement that takes her farther away from him and
closer to Theo.

"But not to find some lost memory. Legilimency is not known to work for restoring memories. I
plan to teach you how to occlude instead."

The Dark Lord had threatened him not to fail this mission, but he had looked into his request while
looking into the magic used to make that collar around her neck. It had never been done before, and
wizards and witches had tried to no avail.

Plus, he didn't see the six-month deadline being of any concern with his current plan.

It was the time in between that he had to prepare them all for, and teaching her to protect her mind
would make his job of saving her much easier.

"Really? You would teach me?"

"Yes, if you are going to help us with getting you out of here, and trust me, we will need it, then I
have to be able to discuss things with you that would be detrimental if the Dark Lord ever found
out."

She stares at him and starts to smile slightly.

"So you do have a plan?"

"A very tentative one. But yes, and until you learn to occlude, that is all I can say, Granger."

She turns and looks at Theo, placing the used dishes onto the tray to take back into the kitchen. He
raises his head and puts his palms up in the air.

"Don't look at me. You know about the same as I do. You're not the only one the bastard leaves in
the dark."

He grabs the tray and stands up.

"How about you go take that bath, Granger? Let your wounds air out before we re-dress them. I'm
sure the warm water will feel great as well. Also, it'll give you some time to let that big brain of
yours process all this."

Theo places the tray in the crook of his arm and extends his other one down to Granger to help her
up.

"Draco, can you show her where everything is since you bought most of it?"

He nods as he stands and walks into the closet; he hears her follow.

"You bought me all this? Malfoy, you shouldn't have."

He looks around at the almost full closet, trying to see it from her perspective. He had to agree it
was... a lot. He watches her take it all in.

I mean, if you want to keep wearing my shirts Granger, I will not object.

"I asked you yesterday about your size but bought certain things in multiple sizes. Oh, and here."

He walks over to the open shelves on the left, grabs the shampoo he bought, and hands it to her.

"Is this right?"

She takes a moment and looks at the bottle. Holding it in two hands as if it was the most precious
thing she had ever been given.

"You went into a muggle store?"

He rolls his eyes. "Granger, we both know my previously held prejudices were never my own."

"I know, I know. That's not what I meant. What I meant to say was..." Her eyes start moving back
and forth again rapidly. "Thank you, Malfoy. Yes, this is what I used to use."

Thank Merlin... If I had to go back to that store and deal with those people again. It may have
killed me.
He turns and grabs the new flannels he bought and hands them to her.

"Feel free to pick whatever you want to wear; it is all yours. There is a robe on the back of the door
as well. I'll go get the bath ready for you."

She walks over to the assortment of clothes on hangers and spots the jeans.

"You got me jeans? You always made fun of me for my Muggle clothes."

He smirks. "Making fun of you in those should be a crime worthy of Azkaban."

He pauses. Wait, what the hell?

Draco, you can't say shit like that out loud to her, damn it!

He is mortified with himself. He will never be able to look her in the face again.

"My arse does look nice in them, doesn't it?"

Leave.

Leave.

Leave now, you idiot, before you say something you shouldn't.

"Precisely."

You didn't...

Just walk out now.

He doesn't look at her as he turns and heads for the lavatory. Like the rest of Theo's rooms, the loo
is obscenely decadent, with gaudy decor covering every blank surface. No matter how many times
he told Theo that a lavatory did not need drapery or multiple gold-cased mirrors, he didn't listen.

Every man had his vices. Draco's happened to be in the next room.

The one nice thing about Theo's tastes was the bath. It is basically a pool, sunken into the ground
rather than sitting atop it.

Granger would love it.

He turns the nozzles to just a bit past comfortable for him. Her body was always warm, so he
suspected she liked it a bit hotter than he did. He dumps some soap into the water and watches the
bubbles mound.
He hears the door shut and sees Granger standing there in the robe he bought her with her selected
clothing and towels in one hand and his t-shirt in another.

"I am guessing this is yours due to the size."

She extends her hand with the t-shirt she had been wearing to him. He takes it, hoping it smells like
her. And stuffs it into the pocket of his robe.

"Thanks."

They stand there staring at each other for a moment.

"So… Theo's rooms are a lot."

Draco lets out a quick laugh. He couldn't imagine what someone would think who had no idea how
Theo operated, walking into these rooms.

"Yes, well, Theo has been through a lot so..." He doesn't finish his sentence. It wasn't his story to
tell. "There is a toothbrush on the vanity for you as well. It is red. Thought it was fitting."

She is the one to let out a small laugh this time.

"You know, just because I was in Gryffindor doesn't mean all my belongings are red or that I even
like the color."

"Well then, you will hate the mug I got you."

She looks at the bath and sets the towels down next to it. Draco takes that as his invitation to leave.
He turns to tell her that if she needs anything to call for one of them, but before he can say
anything, he sees her face. The fear is back.

"Granger?"

What do I do?

Something more than standing here.

Go to her.

He walks up behind her and goes to grab her hand. To let her know she is here now, she is safe, to
remind her that Dolohov would never do anything to her again.

His fingers graze hers, and she grabs hold of them quickly and roughly. They are shaking.

"Gran.."

Before he can finish, she pulls the cord holding the robe up and unties it. The robe slides off her
shoulders quickly and pools at the ground at her feet. She reaches back and grabs his hand again,
frozen where he had left it out of the shock of what was happening in front of him. He instinctively
closes his eyes, jerks his head to the ceiling, and tries to gently pull his hand out of hers.

"Granger, what are you doing?"

She's naked...

Keep your eyes shut, Malfoy!

Something is happening right now.

She's naked...

This isn't Granger. Help her.

Like she is reading his mind, he hears her say in the voice she uses when she has switched to the
one filled with fear.

"Help me... Wash me, please."

He feels her start walking forward, pulling him towards the tub.

"Granger, stop. You don't want to do this."

He hears as her body enters the water.

Granger's golden skin is covered in sudsy bub...

Malfoy stop! Not the time!

Stop thinking with your dick and help her!

What do I do?

"Pets can't wash themselves."

Merlin, this was Dolohov's making.

She tugs on his arm harder, and with his eyes closed and head facing the ceiling, he doesn't know
that he has reached the tub's edge. His foot falters at the missing ground, and his body falls
forward.

Keep your eyes shut, Malfoy!

Suddenly, he is crashing into the hot water, his entire body submerging before getting his feet
underneath him and standing up. Somehow, his eyes stay shut the whole time.

He coughs up the water loudly as he tries to take in a breath.

"Oh my gods, oh my gods..."

He can hear her start to cry. Small heartbreaking noises leave her mouth in a way he had never
heard before, and he had heard her cry too many times already for a lifetime. These sound… sound
broken. Lost. He doesn't know how crying could sound like that, but it is exactly what she sounds
like.

"Granger, are you okay?"

He keeps his eyes closed and up to the ceiling, wanting with his entire being to hold her.

Don't... not the moment.

"I... I... I'm so sorry, Malfoy. I... I haven't washed myself in so long. I forgot. I forgot I could. I'm
so sorry. I'm so sorry, please, please don't be mad. Please."

Oh, my gods, I have to stop this...

Fuck it.

He opens his eyes and looks down slowly. The deep tub and bubbles cover all of her intimate
spots, thankfully. He can only see her shoulders as they shake uncontrollably, with her hands
holding both sides of her head like she is holding it together. Tears cover her face, and the small
horrible noises keep escaping between her lips.

Was this part of the fuckers training he kept referring to? Did he not let her wash herself? Did he
call her pet? Is that why he didn't know her bloody name? Did he only allow her to get clean if he
did it? He should have Avada'd the fucker, damn the consequences.

She's broken. Dolohov broke her.

No. No, she isn't. She is the strongest person you know. She rode a bloody dragon, endured your
fucking crazy aunt, and kissed that redheaded idiot without throwing up.

She isn't broken. She just needs help.

Help her.

"Granger, stop apologizing now. You have nothing to apologize for. What... What do you need me
to do? How can I help?"

He starts treading water towards her, his hair falling into his eyes with the weight of the water.

"Can… Can I touch you?"

She nods her head in confirmation without opening her eyes or looking up. He reaches out and
places his hands over hers that still are encased on each side of her head.

"Granger, look at me."

She hesitates for a moment before opening her eyes and looking up at him. Her eyes are swollen
from the tears, and her mouth seems to form the same word repeatedly.

Be soft... Remember. Be soft...

Be soft in the way only she brings out in you.

Say what you wish someone would say to you.

"I am so sorry that you went through what you had to go through. I am so sorry that it happened to
you. I am so sorry that it is still with you. But you are not alone anymore, and you are not
surrounded by the people who were hurting you. You are safe, Granger."

Her hands go limp under his, and they fall into the space between them. He stands holding her
head, not knowing how to convince her of her magnificence, even in this moment of brokenness.

"You are strong, Granger. You are brilliant, Granger. You are too good for this world, Granger.
Even right fucking now when you are lost in what he did to you, in all the pieces he took from you.
He didn't take those, you hear me? No matter what, no one will ever be able to take those."

Draco watches as she steps between his outstretched arms and leans into his chest with her arms
curled in between them. He wraps his arms around her for the second time that day and completely
forgets that he is fully dressed, soaking wet, in a bathtub with a naked Granger in his arms. None of
it matters because he knows she just fought another battle and won.

I'll help you win the war, Granger. I promise.

One battle at a time.

"Thank you, Malfoy."

"You're welcome, Granger."

He feels her body relax slowly as he continues to hold her.

"This isn't awkward. Why isn't this awkward?"

She's right. This should be incredibly awkward. Draco should be much more mortified than earlier
when he found out she had overheard the conversation about her undergarments but found he didn't
have the slightest feeling of mortification.

"I… I don't know."

He feels her nod her head.

"Thank you again, Malfoy. You have been so kind to me."

He squeezes his eyes shut at all the unkind memories that surface with that implication.

"For all the times I wasn't Granger. I plan to make up for those for the rest of my life."

"I have already forgiven them, Malfoy. You know that."

No...

She couldn't forgive him. That couldn't have been true back in 6th year. It couldn't have been that
easy, especially after everything that is his fault.

What was she saying? She must have switched. The heat must be mixing with the potion to make
her not think clearly. Because there was no way in hell, even she could genuinely forgive him for
all the horrendous things he had done to her.

He had made fun of every single thing about her.

Her hair (which he found his eyes constantly drawn to from the first time he saw her on the
Hogwarts Express. He always preferred brunettes, and she was the reason why).

Her teeth (She must have fixed those or grew into them because they didn't bother him at all
anymore).

Her clothes (Well, he already had expressed his true thoughts about those earlier).

Even her brain (Which, if he was being honest with himself, which he rarely was, was probably the
most attractive thing about her).

He realized some time ago he obsessed over her because he was in denial. He had been attracted to
her for a very long time. He had actively wanted her for years, and now he needed her more than
anything else in the world.

But growing up with all the beliefs of his parents and society surrounding him and pushed upon
him, he had hated himself for being attracted and wanting something he was told he should never
want.

So he took it out on her, like the bastard he was.

All that, he could see someone forgiving, maybe, but she could never forgive him for calling her
that word. For saying it with such hate and purpose. Did he ever honestly believe in the blood
purity nonsense? No. But was he responsible for his cruelty within that ignorance? Absolutely.

There was no excuse. There was no reconciliation after Draco stooped so low to hurt her. All to
make himself feel bigger, better.

That's what the Weasel did, not me. Never again.

 He had decided to never do that to her again days later after four nights of no sleep. He came up
with a grand plan to treat her better and hopefully gain some of her attention back over the next few
years of school. He planned to be subtle about it at first and see how she reacted. Everyone knew
she was in love with Weasley for some reason he would never be able to fathom, and he knew even
then that he would never be worthy of her love. But he convinced himself that he was okay with
settling for fire-filled banter, intellectual stimulation, and eye rolls.

All the eye rolls in the world.

That's all he needed from her. That would be enough. Anything was better than her hating him,
truly hating him.

His plan was full proof, but that summer, when he returned home to a mansion filled with some of
the scariest creatures to ever walk the earth, his plans had to change. Keeping her safe became the
priority. Keeping her alive was the focus.

Some things never change.

"Don't say things like that to me."

"Why not? It's true."

"Because Granger, it shouldn't be."

He feels his walls around the worst memory shake. He closes his eyes and focuses on building, and
building, and building.

"You do not get to tell me what I can and cannot forgive, Malfoy. I forgave you a long time ago for
your foolishness and ignorance. Take it."

His bloody witch...

Utter perfection.

"Okay, thank you."

Chapter End Notes

TW!!!- Abuse discussed.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He keeps saying that nothing happened in the loo, but Theo isn't buying it.

They were in there for way too long to be doing anything below being classified as something.

Definitely not what Draco tried to convince him they were doing: holding each other, Hermione
with no clothes on, both in his massive and very sensual tub, handing out forgiveness for past
crimes left and right. Yeah, how stupid did he think he was?

They always like to joke about his innocence, but he is pretty sure he had seen and done pretty non-
innocent things in his 19 years.

Killing his own mother: check

Knowing what cartilage looked like at the age of 6: check

Being able to heal a broken arm at 9: check

Learning that the body can go two weeks without food: check

Witnessing a person being eaten alive by a giant snake: check

Getting a really ugly tattoo: check

Knowing that people don't usually close their eyes when they die, and you have to do it for them:
check

Innocent my arse.

So they fooled around.

And neither of them was owning up to it, which frustrated him the most. They had been skirting
around each other for the past couple of hours. They were being amicable but nothing more.
Constantly tensing when the other entered the room, which was happening more often now that
Hermione was feeling much better.

"Theo, would it be possible to see your library?"

Theo looks up from the plaque he is creating for the telescope Draco destroyed a few days ago. She
is sitting cross-legged in front of him, watching him magically engrave ' destroyed by Draco's
temper tantrum ' in one of the simple loose dresses the blonde had bought for her.

Her hair was still wild but no longer matted or covered in blood. He should have kept that elastic
Blaise flung at him days ago to give her the option to pull it back from her face. Her skin was
starting to get a healthy tone again, and the areas that still need dressings are few and far between
now. She looks alive again.

"Of course! Follow me. It's not nearly as large and grandiose as the one in the main manor, but it
has the most compelling contents, in my humble opinion."

He walks her down the hallway as Draco is coming out of the hallway loo. He watches as the two
make eye contact, and both quickly cast their eyes to the floor.

How am I the third wheel in my own fucking house?

"Where are you going?"

"The library, Hermione hasn't seen it yet."

Draco follows as Theo leads them through the open area that he turned into a game room and to
the scholarly section of the house that was made up of his office and library. Yes, he was a 19 year
old with an office.

"You thought the lavatory was a lot? Wait until you see this..." He hears Draco whisper to
Hermione. She laughs.

Great, third wheel and not in on jokes... bloody fantastic.

He turns and opens the double doors that lead to his favorite room. He smiles as he watches
Hermione's eyes widen.

It was the largest room in his collection, and he had used space enhancement charms to make it
even more prominent as he ran out of room. The ceiling was 20 feet high and had built-in dark
wood bookcases on three of the walls going all the way up. Bookshelves created maze-like
corridors running through the open floor of the library. They also housed more of his antiquities,
some of his most exceptional ones. The fourth wall had four large windows with heavy dark green
drapes hanging from the sides. Each window was encased in woodwork that showed wizards and
witches in battles, scholarly studies, and everyday life. Two large wooden tables sat to the right of
the window wall, and a sitting area with two of his favorite chairs and a settee were to the left.
Between the four large windows were double glass-paned doors leading to the large balcony,
furnished with more comfortable seating.

This was the heart of his little safe haven, where he usually spent the most time.

"Wow, Theo, this is truly amazing."

"It's not as big as Malfoy's, but I believe in quality over quantity."

He suddenly feels a sharp pain on the back of his head as Draco walks by him and drops his arm.

Ow! What the hell?

"What was that for?" He mutters as he rubs the back of his head.

Hermione doesn't even acknowledge she heard him. She is too busy running from one bookshelf to
the next. Brushing her fingers along the spines as she reads the titles. Her smile continues to grow
as she moves throughout the room.

"I don't even know where to start!"

Her excitement is contagious, and Theo finds himself smiling back at her unguarded joy as she
looks from book to book. He got that. Books make him happy too.

Draco walks over to the two large tables and starts restacking a group of books on top.

"If you feel up for it, I think it would be helpful for you to read this."

He hands her a small book that looks extremely worn.

"It is all about Legilimency and Occlumency. I read it during my training, and it helped immensely
initially."

"Who trained you?"

She turns the book over in her hands.

"My aunt and Snape."

She looks up at his words. "Snape trained you?"

Draco glances over her head as he nods, obviously not wanting to talk about it. It was common
knowledge that Snape had betrayed the Dark Lord and had been a triple agent the entire time, so
there was a lot that could be inferred about where Draco's allegiances lied if anyone learned that he
had been training in secret with Snape.

His brother had taught Theo occlumency as he was learning, which helped him tremendously with
the problems in his own life. It also allowed Draco to show his true self to someone. Something the
man did not have the luxury of doing with anyone else, not even Hermione at this point.

"Why did you need two tutors?"

Draco purses his lips and keeps his eyes above her head.

"That is a story for a safer time."

She nods her head in understanding and then turns her attention back to the book.

"I'll start on this now. Can we begin our lessons today?"

He can see the eagerness in her eyes. It must be incredibly liberating for a person like her to be
given tasks, work, and knowledge after being starved of it for so long.

"Theo?"

He keeps his eyes on Hermione as she looks at him hopefully. Like he holds her most significant
wants and desires in his hands. He really likes having her around.
"I think we won't know until we try. I will be there to make sure it doesn't send you into a seizure
or cause you any pain. At the first sign of distress, we will stop. Draco is excellent. When he was
training me, he could enter my mind without so much as a pinching feeling. So yes, I think we
should try today."

Hermione basically jumps at his words.

"I have always wanted to learn how to occlude! Harry was learning as well back in school, but he
always said he didn't want to teach Ron and me because it wasn't a healthy habit. I assured him that
it would be beneficial for us all to learn and that while his sentiment was endearing, it was not
realistic. We hadn't been in a healthy environment since year three."

She continues with her ramble as she flips open the book and skims the first page. Something Theo
had never possessed the ability to do, talk and read simultaneously. The woman's mind was
impressive.

"I read once that not all wizards and witches can occlude, even with training. Is that true?"

They both look towards Draco, and he nods his head, "Yes, some minds do not have the ability due
to their natures. The Weasel would have never been able to do it."

Hermione pulls her eyebrows together and flashes an irritated look at the blonde.

"Why do you say that? You know Ronald is not stupid. He is actually very smart, just not book
smart. There are different forms of intelligence, Malfoy."

Theo takes a step back as she steps closer to Draco, wanting to be nowhere near her line of fire.
Draco smirks and leans forward as if he wants to be consumed by it.

Fucking sociopaths...

"I never said he was stupid, and while I know he is one of the most oblivious and air-filled wizards
I've ever met, that is not why he wouldn't be able to occlude successfully."

Hermione rolls her eyes, and Draco's smirk turns into a smile.

"Then why, Malfoy?"

"Because it requires a mind that works naturally in complexities more than transparencies. While I
would rather seal my mouth shut forever than say something that could be anywhere close to a
compliment to the wanker, his mind works in full transparency. He doesn't hide his emotions, nor
does he even try to. What he thinks is what he shows, what he shows is what he says, and what he
says is what you get."

That almost does sound like a compliment, and Draco looks like he is about to throw up.

"Do you need a trash bin, mate?"

Hermione shakes her head at their melodramatic performances.

"You both are insufferable."

"Yet you know I'm right."

He is pushing her again, wanting her to attack. This time, she doesn't take the bait.

"Maybe, but I am not very good at hiding my emotions either. Harry would always say that he
could tell what I was thinking by watching my facial expressions."

"Yes, I would agree your facial expressions show your emotions, and we will work on that, but
your mouth doesn't. You betray your thoughts and emotions more than anyone I know." Draco
pulls another book off of the stack and hands it to her. "You better get started, would you like a cup
of tea?"

She takes the second book and places it under the one from earlier.

"Yes, that would be nice. Chamomile if you have it, with milk and honey."

Theo catches himself rolling his eyes.

The girl could be clueless, couldn't she?

Theo stands next to Hermione as they watch Draco leave.

"I don't want anything, by the way! Thanks for asking!" He hollers at him as he steps out in the
hallway.

Hermione lets out a small laugh next to him.

"Theo, could we go outside on the balcony?"

That sounds like a great idea. Today was one of those rare beautiful, non-rainy days that England
usually ensured this time of year. Why not take advantage of it?

"Of course. The doors should be open. I will go grab myself a book, and I'll meet you out there."

He turns and heads straight to where he knows his next book on his TBR is located. Draco had
given him the task of researching the mark on her neck to try to find a way to remove it. Once he
finds the book, he quickly makes his way to the open doors onto the balcony that overlooks the
large pond on the Nott Estate.

It is a nice view, but he finds his eyes drawn to Hermione instead as he walks out. She has both
hands held out to her sides in the air, and her head is tilted back, pointing up to the sun. Her eyes
are closed, and a huge teeth filled smile is plastered on her face.

Suddenly, she starts twirling, her light dress that goes down to her knees curtaining around her as
she lets out an elated laugh.

Theo just stands watching her. This is what innocence looks like, and he saw pieces like this too
few in his life, so he finds he can't look away.

She is very pretty.

I can see why Draco is infatuated with her...

Minutes go by, but she keeps twirling, laughing, and waving her arms, spreading out her fingers in
the air.

"Theo."

He jumps at the low manly voice that interrupts his trance, looking to the left to see Draco glaring
at him.

"I... I... think she hasn't been outside in a long time." He says.

Easy mate, I like her, but not the same way you do. I promise.

Draco turns his attention back to Hermione as she continues to twirl.

"You're probably right."

She suddenly stops twirling and looks at the two of them. The smile is still taking up most of her
face, and her chest rises quickly as she breathes heavily.

"Sorry. I just... I haven't felt the sun in a while. I wasn't allowed outside before, unless as a pun..."
She chokes on her words and closes her eyes for a few moments. "It's just a lovely day."

"That it is." Draco steps forward and hands her what Theo believes is more of a bowl than a cup.
She needs both of her hands to hold it upright as she takes a sip.

"Perfect, thank you, Malfoy. And I love the mug. Just the right size."

He nods his head as Hermione sits and places the mug bowl on the small table before her. Theo
takes the lounger next to her and stretches his legs in front of him.

This is nice...

Theo's life did not have many moments like this. Where he felt peaceful and content, but right now,
he did. He knows the circumstances behind why Hermione was with them are more than bleak, but
he truly enjoys having her around.

He didn't have many people in his life. His father had kept him in the manor, away from
civilization for most of his younger childhood. Many people had no idea that Theodore Nott Sr.
even had a son until he went to Hogwarts.

He didn't have a single friend until he was 9 when Lucius Malfoy came for an extended stay at the
manor and brought his son. They became friends very quickly, even though they were polar
opposites in many ways. While Theo was timid in every sense of the word, Draco was fearless.
While Theo would rather read about doing something, Draco was all about action. While Draco
had emulated his father, Theo was terrified of his.

Their relationship had switched into more of a brotherhood after Draco witnessed his father's
favorite pastime of beating the living shit out of him after seven firewhiskeys. The beatings always
came after number six.

At Hogwarts, Theo had found himself overwhelmed with all the people, action, and just noise. It
left him debilitated. He used to hide in empty classrooms while other students hurried through the
hallways to their classes, waiting until they were empty to come out of his hiding place.

He was late for so many classes that he was sent to Dumbledore the first week. The old wizard
somehow knew Theo was not showing up to class late due to a lack of caring, and he gave Theo a
pass, letting him show up 5 minutes late for the rest of his Hogwarts career.

Keeping to the background in the dungeons with the other Slytherins wasn't hard with the
prominent personalities of his house. And whoever did notice him was quickly turned off by his
inability to hold a conversation or speak like a normal human being.

Theo never wanted to be noticed because, in his experience, being seen always led to pain.

He and Draco didn't hang out much in school either. He had his crowd, and Theo had his books
and the library. They always continued their friendship over the summers like no time had passed.
He became close with Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne after they all had to take the Dark Mark. Blaise
was the only one he would actually call a friend. Daphne stared at him every time he tried to talk to
her and Pansy... If he was being honest, Pansy scared him more than Draco.

"I will be back in a few hours. We will start our lessons then." Draco turns to leave the balcony a
little too quickly.

"Where are you going?" Hermione asks.

Theo is wondering the same thing. They hadn't received an owl with any paperwork for another
lead assignment, and Blaise was currently stationed as their representative at the base with no plans
to give up the job anytime soon since Pansy was stationed there as well. Theo knows Draco has
nowhere to be. So, where the hell was he going?

"Out."

Shit, this isn't good.

He's hiding something.

"I think I can speak for the both of us by saying you are crazy if you think you are leaving here
with that being your only explanation."

Hermione nods her head in agreement beside him as she stands up.

"Malfoy, this isn't the same as me not talking about the specifics of what happened to me, and you
know it. So don't pull the whole courtesy act. Tell us where you are going."

Draco looks down at her as she walks towards him, arms folded over his chest.
"Not happening, Granger."

He makes to leave, but she sprints after him and grabs him by the arm.

"No! Tell me damn it! I know it is something to do with me. I know you did something to keep me
here. I know it! And I know that it must not be something I would approve of because you will not
even look at me right now! Malfoy, don't do this, don't leave, please."

She is scared. Theo can see her hands trembling on his skin as she squeezes his upper arm.

He had noticed she tended to gravitate towards Draco more than he expected. Theo knew they had
a history, but it seemed very one-sided from what Draco had told him.

Everyone knew she was in love with Ronald Weasley, and he knew they had kissed each other
during the Battle of Hogwarts. Which, now that he is thinking of it, she probably doesn't
remember. But he is sure they had kissed before then. It couldn't have been a groundbreaking
moment or anything.

Nevertheless, she was into the redhead. Even Draco knew that. So why had she been attached to
him over the last week? Theo had a couple of theories but wanted to do more research on the
matter before bringing it to either of them.

Draco closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, slowly raising his hand and resting it over hers still
placed on his arm.

"Granger, just like I cannot tell you what to forgive, you cannot tell me what to give."

Well, damn... how could she argue with that?

I guess Draco hadn't been lying about what happened in the lavatory.

Hermione looks down at her bare feet.

"I... I... I don't like this Malfoy. I have a bad feeling about this."

Draco pulls her into his arms and rests his chin on the top of her head. He still has to slouch a bit to
make it work.

"I promise Granger, everything is going to be okay. I am going to be okay. This... This isn't
dangerous. Trust me."

"Then why can't you just tell me?"

"I will, but not right now, okay? I... I need some time before talking about it."

She pulls away from him and wipes away the tear on her face.

"I'm not happy about this."

"I don't expect you to be."

She nods her head as she backs up a few more steps and crosses her arms. Draco stares down at her
for a few moments, looking like he is battling not to wrap her in his arm again, then he turns his
attention to Theo.

"She'll be fine, Draco. I got her."

Theo walks over to Hermione and gently nudges her with his shoulder. Maybe it was because he
saved her life and spent so many hours touching her skin for healing purposes that Theo doesn't
feel his normal anxiety at reaching out and touching her.

"Hermione, has Draco ever told you about when he got stuck in a chimney on his broom and..."

"Stay alive, Granger. Theo shut the hell up."

" You stay alive too, Malfoy."

With that, Draco walks out of the library. Theo feels Hermione twitch a few times against his side
as he directs her back out to the balcony.

"He's going to be okay, Hermione. Whatever the hell the prick is up to, he will be damned if he
isn't by your side until he gets you out of this mess." He sits her down in her chair and takes his
place next to her. "I... Feel free to let me know if I am overstepping here, but Draco has told me a
lot about you and all, but I had no idea you guys were so close."

She lets out a little hiccup that accompanies a snort.

"We aren't, well, not in the direct sense anyways. We have never been friends, quite the opposite
actually. He... He did some things a while ago that created a divide between us. One I never really
wanted, but he seemed determined to hold."

She wraps her arms around herself tightly, leaning back into the chair and pulling up her knees.

"But I noticed he stopped being cruel to me somewhere along the way. I assume it was because he
was preoccupied with trying to survive the environment his parents placed him in. I remember one
night in 6th year, I ran into him in the hallways, and he looked... ill, basically like a ghost. I said
something sarcastic I would only say to him that usually promised a sneer or quick-witted retort,
but he just looked up and seemed to see right through me and then walked by. It was, haunting. I
was up the whole night thinking about it."

She reaches forward and takes a sip of her tea, holding the mug-bowl in both hands to her chest.

"I thought about many things, and I asked myself: If I was placed in his story would I be any
different? If I had grown up as basically royalty, doted on by parents who gave me everything.
Who loved me in their own ways. Who told me how important blood purity was. Who exiled
brothers and sisters for the crime of caring for someone like me and was surrounded by like-
minded people my entire life up until Hogwarts... If I had a parent who looked up to a political
figure and told me his plans would change the world for the better, a parent who always wore the
Dark Mark proudly, a parent I looked up to more than anything. If that parent came behind me and
pushed me towards evil, would I even realize it was evil? Would I believe similar things to what he
used to believe? I would like to say that I wouldn't, but I am not sure if I am being honest. I know I
wouldn't have been as cruel as he was, as I am a much nicer person all around."

"I concur." Theo interrupts, and Hermione smiles.

"I am not saying that this excuses his actions. He was still responsible for going out of his way and
being horrible to me, but it does make it all more understandable don't you think? And he doesn't
believe in those things anymore. Doesn't even pretend to if he doesn't have to. And I recognize the
bravery in that. Stepping out from all you have ever known and risking everything. He lied to his
aunt about Harry. Did you know that?"

Theo knew the whole story, probably more than Hermione did, so he nods his head to be safe and
not say anything he shouldn't.

"That saved all of us, honestly. We would all be dead right now if he had told the truth."

Has she ever told Draco that was her perspective of that night? Because he knows Draco saw it
much differently and believed it was another reason she would always keep him at a distance.

"When I was being tortured by his aunt, he was in the room. And I know he blames himself,
wishing he could have done something, but I know, and have always known, there was nothing he
could do. He had done everything he could by lying, which has always been enough for me. That
was when I realized he was as trapped as I was."

"Trapped is an extremely accurate way to put it."

Theo rummages through his pocket, grabs his pack of cigarettes, and pulls one out, extending the
box to Hermione. She looks at him and shakes her head in denial as he lights the one in between
his lips.

"Yes, I have been thinking a lot about how different our lives would be if the others before us made
better decisions and how we have had to pay with our childhoods. Some with their lives in
exchange to mend their mistakes."

Theo nods as he creates a tower of smoke rings in the air in front of him, watching as they fit
perfectly through each other.

"My father would have still been a bastard. It's never been a decision problem with him, more like
a deep-rooted character problem. He has a taste for cruelty."

"Do you think he was born with it, though?"

Theo rests against the back of his chair, quirking to the left, and moving his curls out of his eyes.
He stares up at the smoke disappearing into the sky.

It was a good question, one he had debated before. The intellectual side of him agreed that it was
probably a creation of his environment to some degree and that even his father had once been a
young boy with goodness in him. But the part of him that remembers the hundreds of times he was
beaten, stabbed, starved, suffocated, and kicked wanted to believe that there was something wrong
with him, that some people may just be born with a cruelty in their veins that could never be sated.

"I don't know Hermione. I am a bit biased regarding my father, as I am sure you are now as well."

"He beat you, didn't he? That is why you are so good at healing."

Try had me on the verge of death almost too regularly to count, but sure, we will go with he beat
me.
Theo nods again, still looking up to the sky. They both are quiet for a couple minutes before he
hears her open up one of the books Draco had given her. He looks back down at the balcony, and
sees her already writing some information on a piece of paper Draco must have included in the
books.

This was the Hermione he was used to seeing, bent over, with her nose in a book, eyes darting
across the page faster than he thought humanly possible.

He places the nub of a cigarette in between two fingers and looks for the ashtray he usually kept
out here.

Before he spots it, Hermione takes the still-lit cigarette out of his hand.

He thinks she is going to put it in the ashtray that he now notices on the table in front of her, but she
doesn't.

Instead, he watches as she takes the cigarette's lit end and places it on one of the circular scar areas
on her upper forearm he had healed days before. She holds it there, grimacing at the pain slightly
but never taking her eyes off the book.

Shit...

What do I do?

What the hell do I say?

"Hermione, what are you doing?"

"Reading."

"Yes, I see that, but that's not what I am addressing. I am asking why you are currently burning
your arm?"

She flinches and looks up from her book to the hand that holds his cigarette to her skin. She still
doesn't remove it from her arm and looks up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I... I always put out his... like this."

Fucking Dolohov. There is someone who is pure evil.

Theo moves forward in his chair, gently grabs the hand holding the cigarette to her arm, and
slowly pulls it away.

"Okay, well, you don't have to do that anymore. Never again, okay?"

"I didn't... even realize I did it."

She is looking down at the burn that was already beginning to seep. Her shoulders start to shake,
and she falls onto the patio floor, sobbing loudly.

"What is wrong with me! What is wrong with me!"

He watches as she grabs her head and starts pulling at her hair.

"Hey shit Hermione, it's okay. I am sure it is all very fresh still, give it time. It'll get easier. Nothing
is wrong with you. You are still healing. Your mind is still healing."

"It feels broken."

"What does?"

"My mind, me. I think it's broken."

The girl was breaking his heart. He slides down onto the floor next to her and rubs her back a few
times as she continues to sob. He really had no idea how to comfort another person.

"It isn't broken, Hermione, trust me. The girl I have grown to know over the past couple of days is
far from broken, just healing. And one of the first things you learn about healing is it is not linear."

"How do you heal from things that will never go away?"

His hand on her back pauses. How should he say this? She was still at the beginning of her grief. It
had taken him most of his life to realize the answer to that question, as he battled the same thoughts
of being too broken to count as a human anymore.

"Do you know I can't use forks?"

Wow, really, this is what you are going with? Idiot... she will end up staring at you just like all the
others.

"When I was 12, I was eating lunch down on the terrace on the other end of the house. I'll take you
there sometime. I think you would really like it. Our house elf has a knack for gardening, and he
grows the largest rose bushes I have ever seen around the entire terrace."

Nervous rambling Theo boy...

"Anyways, I was sitting out there reading the material for our charms class for the following year
when my father unexpectedly appeared. I thought he was supposed to be away for the whole week.
One look at him, and I knew he was drunk and furious, never learned why. Without saying a word,
the bastard walked over to the table and picked up the fork I had been using, and stuck it through
my hand. Literally skewered my hand into the table. Then he just walked away. I was stuck to that
table until the next morning when he must have told one of the house elves to take the fork out of
my hand. Haven't been able to use a fork since. Sporks only for me."

He looks up at Hermione and sees her giving him a look he had seen many people give him during
his life.
Yeap, you've lost her; way to go, Theo...

Before he can finish the thought, Hermione wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him into
a hug.

He has never been hugged before.

What do I do with my hands?

Like the awkward bloke he is, he just keeps them down on the floor next to him.

"I am so sorry, Theo. I am so sorry that happened to you."

He braves himself and raises one of his hands, and slowly starts rubbing her back again as she
continues to hug him.

This is nice.

Her hair is tickling my cheek, but overall I think I like this.

"He would smoke in front of me when I upset him. Either by not cooperating or not being as
enthusiastic as he wanted or just because he wanted to be upset at something. He would blow the
smoke at me as he pinned me down, or had me in his lap or... and then when he was done, he
would hold it out until I grabbed it and burnt myself with it. He made me hold it there until he took
it from me."

Well, what the hell was he supposed to say to something like that? Now he knows why everyone
always just stares at him.

"Shit Hermione, if Draco hasn't told you already, he plans to kill him." He blows out a piece of her
frizzy crazy hair that had snuck into his mouth while talking to her. It really was a mane. "So like
me with my forks, maybe no smoking for you or the people close to you, yeah? Because all of it
doesn't go away. Some of it stays, scars, and yeah, breaks, but I think it does get easier. It does get
better, at least it did for me."

"How?"

"I was given a chance to be more than a person just trying to survive."

At that moment, he feels a type of camaraderie with Hermione that he has never felt with someone
before. She understood him, and he understood her. He hated that she went through things that
made her be able to understand him and vice versa, but it was nice to know you weren't alone in
your suffering.
 That the pieces of who you are, that you may never get back, are not needed for some people.

"I think it would be helpful if you made a list of things we all should avoid doing or talking about.
You don't have to give the specifics just like 'can't be around cigarettes' or 'don't come into the
bathroom with me when I am getting a bath.'"

She lets go of his shoulders and sits in the space in front of him.

"I think that is a good idea. Maybe we should each make one?"

"Sure. Draco and I kind of know each others by heart nowadays, but we can make them for you."

Plus, Draco's is a list of one. You, Hermione.

"Okay, thank you, Theo, seriously for everything. You are a great friend."

I have three friends now, sweet.

"So are you, Hermione."

Chapter End Notes

TW!!! - self harm depicted, and discussions of physical abuse.

 Hermione
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He doesn't come back for three hours.

She is in the kitchen when she hears the door open. Her anger is already bubbling at the surface as
she re-reads the same sentence in Theo's cookbook for the third time, and she hears him walk in.
She doesn't look up or turn around as she waits for him to say something that he never does.

"You're back."

"Yes."

High road or low road, Hermione, which one do you want to take?

"Glad you’re still alive, Malfoy."

She can hear him let out a small laugh.

You're welcome, you tall blonde idiot.

He moves to lean on the counter next to her. She looks up, and sees him staring towards the door,
running his hand through his hair. He looks in one piece. His robes are in perfect condition, and his
face and hands show no signs of any type of struggle. He has always been taller than her, but now
he towers over her. Like Theo's, his hair is longer and now it is left to lay naturally instead of the
slicked back way he used to wear it. He doesn't look like a boy anymore, he looks like a man.

What did you do, Malfoy?

"I finished the reading."

He scoffs. "Of course you did. What did you think?"

She keeps looking at him, but he won't look at her. Why won't he look at her? She feels her
stomach start to turn again.

"Some concepts are beyond me currently as I have yet to experience occluding, but I had no idea
that legilimens could all feel differently in someone's mind, that they almost had a signature."

Malfoy continues to look ahead and nods. "Yes it is a phenomenon no one is sure how or why it
occurs."

He looks tired, exhausted really. Maybe a little defeated. If he doesn't want to do lessons tonight,
she understood. She knows after her reading, that legilimency was very draining for both parties.

"I am going to take a quick shower, and then we will do your lesson out on the balcony. If that is
okay with you."

He finally looks down at her.

His eyes...
They look like they did during year six.

She reaches out towards him, "Malfoy..."

But before she touches him, he pushes off the counter, and starts to walk out of the kitchen.

"I'll meet you out there, grab Nott."

She is left standing by herself. Malfoy wasn't okay. Whatever he was doing, whatever he was
giving up for her to stay here with him, was eating him alive. She remembers how he looked 6th
year, and why he had looked that way.

He had been all alone, and given a task that was impossible. It was nothing short of a suicide
mission, and he had been alone in that reality. She had known something was wrong then, just like
she knows something was wrong now. She had tried to reach out to him back then.

She had snuck into the infirmary after Harry told her what he had done to him in the lavatory. She
needed to see for herself. Make sure he was okay. No one was there when she entered. It was 2 in
the morning so she didn't expect to see anyone, but she also didn't expect to see him staring up at
the ceiling wide awake either.

"Malfoy?"

He turned his head and looked over at her. She had seen his eyes widen in surprise for a second
before going blank again.

"Granger, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off congratulating Potter?"

"Why would I ever congratulate Harry on hurting you?"

His tongue pressed against the side of his mouth.

"Why wouldn't you? I deserve it. We both know that. You more than anyone know that."

She walked over closer to his bed, down at his feet. Most of the wound was covered in dressings
that took up his whole chest. But Harry had been shaken pretty badly when he had told her and Ron
so she knew it must have been terrible.

"You don't deserve this Malfoy, even you. Whatever is going on with you this year, you don't
deserve it."
Malfoy turned his attention back to the ceiling.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Granger."

"Oh I think I do, remember, Brightest Witch of Our Age and all."

She pointed to the side of her head as she said the words, letting a smile appear on her face, he
didn't bite though.

She missed his banter, the little moments every day where he would say something smart and she
would respond with something smarter. Ron hated it. He always liked to say she had a crush on the
blonde. He seemed to always say that to any boy she talked to growing up. He even believed she
and Harry were doing things behind his back at one point.

"Let… let me help you. We can help you."

The smile that appeared on his face was not filled with humor, or wit, or happiness, it spread across
him like a disease, like an infection. Ugly, and grotesque, and showing more of the truth of how
right she currently was.

"Leave, Granger."

She watched him close his eyes, obviously wanting to be done with the conversation.

"Okay I will, but Malfoy, I know you aren't okay. I know something is going on. Just, don't be
alone in this."

She wouldn't let him be alone again. He didn't always make the best decisions when he was backed
into a corner. He needs her. She knows whatever he is doing, it was all for some twisted form of
penance for his past crimes that he held against himself that she no longer did. He needed to stop,
before he destroyed himself. Their parents' war had already taken too many of them, it wouldn't
take Malfoy as well.

She walks out and finds Theo in the library, sleeping in the large settee with a book over his chest.
They had come inside to eat dinner, and he had fallen asleep quickly after putting a dressing on her
arm.

She waits a few minutes before she leans over, and presses her index finger down on his nose to
wake him up, just like her father used to do to her, and how she used to wake Harry and Ron.

Theo snorts and rises quickly, almost knocking into her.

"The-chocolate-quill-is-in-my-pirate-boot-and... shit." He lets out a large yawn. "Sorry Hermione,

didn't realize I fell asleep."

She laughs, and pushes his shoulder gently to indicate for him to make room. He obliges, and sits
up rubbing his palms into his eyes, and pushing his thick brown hair out of his face as she sits
down next to him.

"Merlin, I was out wasn't I?"

"Yes you were. I am sure you needed the rest though, taking care of a half crazy dying girl is a full
time job."

He snickers at her self deprecating humor, something she has noticed he does pretty often as well.
"Don't forget the massive blonde with a major attitude problem. Being a single dad with two
bloody teenagers is hard work."

They both are still laughing as Malfoy walks into the room. He stops as he sees them sitting on the
overpriced couch together, and just stares with a look on his face Hermione doesn't recognize.

He is shirtless.

Stop looking Hermione, you are mad at him remember?

But his chest...
Nope! Hermione Granger, you stop that this instant! You are not like other girls who lose all
sensibility at the sight of an attractive man.
What's wrong with being like other girls, if they get to look at that all the time?
Ugh... we are hopeless...

"Speak of the wizard, look who's back from doing Merlin knows what! I missed you there
handsome."

Malfoy walks towards them as he uses the towel in his hand to run through his tousled and damp
hair. He throws it onto the floor next to one of the chairs, and pulls a black t-shirt over his head.

"You're drooling, Hermione."

She blinks, and looks over at the smirk Theo is giving her at the words he had just whispered in her
ear.

"What happened to your arm?"

She looks back at Malfoy as he stares at her arm. Bile catches in her throat as she thinks back to
what she had done to herself earlier. She hadn't even actively thought about what she was doing. It
was like muscle memory. That truth disgusted, and terrified her. What else would stay with her? He
had made so many horrible things routine for her, so many punishments, and rewards, and
actions...

And she knew she had given in to him a while ago, playing along, needing to play along. To
survive. Anything to survive.

Every time she tried to make sense of the last six months, her mind would become foggy again, and
that other her would start taking over.

Theo said she needed to give herself more time before confronting all of the things that had been
done to her, but she was never known for her patience.

"Yeah uhh, no smoking around Hermione. We learned that today." Theo says it with a fake air of
nonchalance as he gently places his hand on her shoulder. Draco watches the two of them.

"What does that mean?"

"We will tell you, when you tell us where you were for the last three hours."

Hermione nods her head in agreement.

Malfoy lets out a scoff and shakes his head, leaning back into the chair.

"But seriously no smoking around her."

"Got it. Granger, ready to start your lessons?"

He stands up, and looks at her. Those eyes still look dead.

"Are you sure you're up for it today? You don't look too good, Malfoy."

"That's not what your eyes were saying when I walked in here a minute ago." He smiles down at
her before turning his back, and walking out to the balcony and lighting the candles.

"You know he's right..." She can feel her cheeks heating at her obvious groveling.

"Shut up, Theo."

She gets up, and walks out to the dimly lit balcony where Malfoy is setting up three chairs in a
circle.

She takes a seat in one, as the two Slytherins sit in the others. Theo accios for his healing kit, and
she watches as it comes floating out.

Out of all the duos I thought would find me, this was not one of them.

"Have you ever meditated before?"

She looks at Malfoy, surprised by the mention of a muggle concept.

"Yes, my father believed in its health benefits, and had me take part in it most of my childhood."

Malfoy nods. "Good, that will hopefully make this even easier for you. Occluding is like taking a
couple extra steps past meditating, but it is a great place to start. To occlude you have to not only
clear your mind, but protect it. So let's focus on clearing your mind first, and see how you do with
that."

"Okay."

"I will at some point enter to see how you have done. Try to do it as quickly as you can."

She closes her eyes, and tries to focus on the black nothingness in front of her, trying to make her
mind feel the same. She does the practises her father had taught her, counting her breaths until they
naturally follow the rhythm without her counting anymore. Focusing solely on the sounds of her
heart beating, and her lungs filling with air, canceling out all the other noise.

She doesn't know how long she is meditating before she feels a chill enter into the nothingness. She
feels goosebumps forming on her skin, and a butterfly feeling down in her stomach. It feels nothing
like the cold cutting and tearing sensation she had felt the last time someone was using legilimency
on her. She likes this feeling, she likes the feel of his magic. The nothingness continues to hold as
the cold moves throughout her mind. It isn't searching; just existing, flowing in the dark like a wisp
of air. All of a sudden it moves with intent, and easily slides through the nothingness into what is
beyond.
No...

The thought throws her mind wide open and the complexities, divisions and pieces all start flying
from every direction. Images, and memories, and voices, so many voices, all telling her different
things, compile on top of each other. She can't take it. She can't stand to feel the chaos inside her
head.

Her mind; the area she had always placed the most pride in was now so foreign, so horrifying. It
was her enemy.

Before she becomes overwhelmed, she feels the cold leave her mind, and instead feels it against her
skin, holding the sides of her head.

She is screaming.

Damn, when did I start screaming?

She opens her eyes, and feels the tears collecting on her neck. Her screams turn into a sob as she
looks up at Malfoy. He is holding her head in between his hands again, and her hands are bawled
up in the front of his t-shirt. She sees his lips are moving.

"... That's it. That's it for today. Granger, you did well. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pressed so hard."

His eyes are moving between hers, and she sees Theo pull up a diagnostic charm on her head.

"Is that, is that my brain?"

Theo nods as he stares up at the chart.

"She's medically okay. No seizure. Her heart rate elevated, but you stopped before it got to a
dangerous level."

She looks back at Malfoy who is still staring at her, somehow his eyes look even more haunted.

"I'm sorry Granger, I should have backed off."

She shakes her head as much as she can with his hands still on either side, and wipes the dampness
from her neck and cheeks.

"No it's okay. How... how did I do?"

Malfoy lets out a huff of air, and the corner of his mouth raises.

"Always want a grade don't you, Granger?"

She rolls her eyes at him, and sits back in her chair, out of his grasp.

"You did very well. I entered your mind, and you were able to hold the emptiness, which is an
achievement on it's own."

"But then you slid through it. I felt it. And then I couldn't control any of it. I can't control any of it
anyways. I can't even protect myself from my own thoughts. Let alone protect them from others."

Malfoy nods his head, and looks down at the ground. He had seen the mess that was her previous
most prized possession. He knew what she was talking about.

"I think this will help you in more ways than one."

He stands up and raises his wand to bring a book to him.

"Do you want homework, Granger?"

She can't help it, she straightens up involuntarily and he laughs.

"Of course you do. Here, read this. It is a collection of first hand accounts of the
compartmentalizing strategies witches and wizards have used in the past. Read it, and over the next
couple of days try some out. Start creating an organizational pattern that works best for you for
your memories and thoughts, and when you remember something you believe needs protected,
place it where it belongs." He hands her the book. "It'll take time to learn what works best for you,
and to go from placing things in sections, to building walls and unbreakable barriers, so be patient.
You truly did very well for your first lesson. Better than I did."

"What happened your first lesson?"

He moves to put his chair back and Theo does the same. "My first lesson was combined with a
cruciatus, so it was not very pleasant."

Her stomach twists at his words, as she follows the pair back into the house. His aunt was
psychotic, and that was putting it nicely. She couldn't imagine what he had gone through at her
mercy. Well, actually she could. She had been given a little taste of what she is sure was a normal
occurrence for him on that drawing room floor.

"Well I was having a lovely dream before you bopped me on the nose Hermione, that I would love
to get back to. Here are your potions."

Theo holds out a pain suppressant and a dreamless sleep towards her. She shakes her head at him
and pushes his hand back.

"No, I think I am going to try to sleep tonight without potions."

Theo looks from Hermione to Malfoy, and she rolls her eyes.

"Theo, don't look at him. It is my body, and I can do what I want with it. Malfoy is not my keeper."

Theo places the potions back into the bag hanging from his shoulder.

"Fair enough Hermione. Could I keep a detection spell on you though? Or one of us could sleep in
the room to make sure you are okay. Whichever you prefer."

She thinks about that for a minute. Was she being stubborn by not taking the dreamless sleep? Yes.
She knew she would probably wake up with horrible nightmares without it, but she did not want to
become someone who relied on potions to survive. She needed to see how bad it would be to dream
again.
"I'll stay in the room with her."

It isn't a question. It is said with finality as Malfoy walks ahead. She wants to fight him, just well,
because. She liked fighting with him, arguing with him. It got her blood moving, and made her feel
like the old Hermione Granger that didn't feel split into so many different pieces. But the thought
of lying awake in a dark room by herself all night terrifies her. She hated that.

It's like you're 5 years old again.

You are an adult now, you shouldn't be afraid of the dark.
You know that there are plenty of monsters out in the daytime.
Yes, but... the things they do in the dark are worse...

The trio enters her room, and Theo looks from Malfoy to Hermione, he keeps his eyes on her, and
gives her a look that asks her if she is okay with this.

Not wanting to give Malfoy any validation for his presumptuous statement, she nods her head
slightly, and Theo nods back.

"Well if this bastard keeps you awake with his constant brooding, my door is always open for you,
Hermione."

She laughs, and steps forward without thinking, and wraps him in her arms. He freezes just like he
did last time she hugged him.

She likes his awkwardness, his naive yet thoughtful personality. It reminds her of Harry.

Slowly, just like he did last time, he takes just one hand and rubs her back three times before
dropping it.

I am going to make you a hugger Theo Nott. Mark my words.

"Thank you for everything today." She whispers at him as she pulls back.

"Always, Hermione."

He smiles at her in a way that is filled with the Theo she was growing to really like. Honest,
humble, and kind.

How has he become this, after what he has gone through?

He is one of the strongest people I know.
Much stronger than me.

She hears Malfoy let out a large cough behind her, and they both roll their eyes at each other before
Theo turns and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
She is alone with Malfoy again. With a door shut.

The last time had been this morning when she lost the ability to hold back the other her as she saw
the tub fill with water. She had experienced another sort of instinctual reaction to the setting in
front of her.

When was the last time she had bathed herself? She honestly couldn't remember. All she
remembers now, all she sometimes struggles not to believe is that she wasn't allowed to do it
herself. He liked her a certain way. He liked her relying on him.

Pets can't wash themselves...

His calloused hands scratching my skin.
Him touching everywhere...

"Granger."

She blinks, and looks up at him. Granger... her name... an anchor to this reality. To what was real.
To where she was now. Safe. Away from him.

"Granger, come back."

She blinks again, and shakes her head, wiping away the tear from her eye.

Damn it, stop crying! You are always crying!

You are allowed to cry now...
You don't have to pretend to be happy anymore.
No more pretending.
I'm tired of pretending.

"I'm here, I'm here. Sorry. I'm going to change. I'll be right back."

She runs into the closet, and shuts the door behind her as she falls to the floor. Trying to calm her
racing heart as images of Dolohov fly across her mind.

His weight on top of her, the feeling of being torn apart on the inside as he took her for the first
time. She had been a virgin. He hadn't cared.

His fists, and feet, and wand hurting her when she would cry, when she would fight, when she
would beg for him to stop.

She stopped begging.

She stopped begging earlier than she liked to admit to herself. Because she wasn't strong like Theo,
or brave like Malfoy. She was weak. He didn't even have to use the drugs on her towards the end.

She had believed him. She believed she wanted to make him happy. She believed she enjoyed what
he was doing to her. She believed she deserved the punishments. And sometimes, when she was
too tired of fighting off the other her, she found herself believing again. It was easier to give in. But
he had never been able to convince her she loved him. He didn't take that away. She didn't love
him, she was terrified of him.

I may not know much about love, but I know it looks nothing like that.

She takes a few deep breaths, stands up, and starts changing out of her clothes, and into something
to sleep in. When she is done, she walks out and finds Malfoy standing exactly where she had left
him, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

He looks her up and down and she watches as part of his mouth moves up, but is pushed back
quickly as he purses his lips, like he is trying to hide it.

"I bought you your own pajama sets. They are in the top drawer."

She looks down at what she is wearing, and it clicks that she had pulled on one of his t-shirts again.
She had noticed he had left a few hanging up in the closet, and while she had seen the flannel
pajama sets he had bought her. She found herself wanting to wear his t-shirt instead. She feels safer
somehow.

"I know. I just... I feel better wearing this. You left a couple hanging in the closet, so I thought it
would be okay if..."

"It's perfectly fine, Granger. They look better on you anyways."

He turns, and starts to pull the covers back on the bed.

A bed...
Laying in a bed.
Feeling the ropes tearing my wrists that attach me to the posters.
Wearing the collar, and being chained...
Him on top of me, injecting me in the leg.
Opening my mouth...
Bending me over...
Pets get fucked in a bed...
Pets sleep on the floor...

"I... I want to sleep on the floor."

He looks up at the ceiling as he lets out a sigh.

"Why?"

"He, he... did things to me in a bed. I wasn't allowed to sleep in a bed."

He jerks his head down in surprise that she was sharing something that had happened to her. It
wasn't as easy as it had been with Theo earlier, but she realized she felt better after talking about it,
and thought maybe she would try it again.
She trusts Malfoy.

"The fucker made you sleep on the floor didn't he?"

She nods her head as he bawls his fists next to his side.

"And that is why you still are compelled to sleep on the floor, because you believe you should?"

She shakes her head quickly.

"No, I know I don't have to sleep on the floor anymore. I know that. I just... the memories, and
images, and voices all become too much when I lay on a bed."

Malfoy lets out a huff of air, and pulls the blankets off the bed, and onto the floor.

"Fucking fine..."

She catches herself smiling at his little temper tantrum, as he throws the pillows on the ground as
well, and then leaves the room, coming back with another set of blankets and pillows.

Hermione walks over and sits down in the makeshift bed, pulling the duvet up into her lap, and
watches as he splays the other blanket and pillow on the floor a couple feet from her own.

"Malfoy, you don't have to sleep on the floor with me, there is a perfectly good and empty bed
right there you can sleep in. It won't bother me, I promise."

He stares down at the blanket and pillow, and pulls out his wand, casting a cushioning charm
underneath both of their sleeping arrangements.

"I'm not sleeping up in a bed while you are sleeping down on the ground, Granger. If you're on the
damn floor, so am I."

He says it filled with irritation, but Hermione finds herself smiling again.

That's sweet.
He could be sweet in his own denial filled sort of way.

He sits down on the floor, and slides underneath the blankets. They both lay down at the same
time. She turns her body to face him while he lays looking up at the ceiling.

"So where would you have slept if I had decided to sleep in the bed?"

She was feeling a bit fiery all of a sudden. His irritation and moodiness seemed to bring that out of
her.

He re-adjusts himself moving his shoulders back and forth, like he is the most uncomfortable he
has ever been in his life.

Such a drama queen...

"I would have conjured up a couch of course."

"Malfoy, we are all adults here. You would have slept in the bed with me. You above the covers,
and me under them, and we would have been fine."

"Seems like you have put a lot of thought into being in bed with me."

Her stomach does that fiery butterfly feeling again at his words.

Damn it, when did he get so good at leaving me speechless...

I don't like it.
Yes you do...
No, I like winning against him.
Yeah, but you kind of win even when you lose with him.

"Sorry I shouldn't have said that. It was very insensitive."

She blinks and looks up to where he is lying. His head is turned and he is looking at her with pity
written all over his face.

"What why?"

"Well... because of what you just said about a bed, and... what happened to you. It was insensitive
of me to make a joke out of the matter."

She hates the way he is looking at her, and she finds herself becoming very angry.

"Don't tiptoe around me Malfoy. I'm... I'm really trying to believe that I am not broken, and you
being careful with your words, and looking at me like that makes me feel incredibly pitiful." She
can't hide the anger from her voice as she stares at him. "He took enough from me, and I am really
trying to get some of it back. I need to get some of it back. And you fighting me, and riling me up
makes me feel strong enough to do that. I will let you know if you go too far. So don't stop, deal?"

He stops looking at her with pity immediately, and gives her one of her favorite smirks.

"Deal. So like I said, it seems you have put a lot of thought into us being in bed together."

She rolls her eyes and turns to lay facing the ceiling.

"Shut up, Malfoy."

"Make up your mind, Granger."

She stares up at the ceiling, looking again at the curious stain that is kind of shaped like Snoopy
from the Peanuts.

"Would you prefer the lights on or off?"

"Off please, the window lets in the moonlight."

He waves his wand and extinguishes all the candles. Only the blue moonlight makes it visible to
see outlines in the room.
They both lay quiet for a few minutes before she hears him trying to get comfortable. He is huffing
and grunting, and she hears the blanket twisting around him in the process. She looks over to watch
as he sits up, and tries to fluff the pillow before throwing his head back down on it in frustration.

"You okay over there, Malfoy?"

"Splendid."

"Never slept on the ground before have you?"

She turns over to face him, and he turns his head towards her, the alcoves of his face are in
shadows but she can still see the look on his face.

"Why in the world would I have ever slept on the fucking ground before, Granger?"

She rolls her eyes and places her hands underneath her head.

"You are so dramatic." She smiles at a memory that comes into her mind. "I'm guessing you never
went camping growing up?"

He scrunches his eyebrows together.

"What the hell is camping?"

She lets out a soft laugh and sits up from her makeshift bed.

"My father used to take me all the time growing up. We would strap these big bags onto our backs
with everything we would need for a few days, and hike deep into the woods near where my
parents used to live. After a while we would pick a spot of ground, and my father would build a fire
and cook our dinner. We would stay up late looking at the stars, and listening to the sounds of all
the animals. But we would sleep on the ground in these blanket bags in a tent like the ones wizards
used at the Quidditch World Cup but without any enhancement spells or charms."

She looks back over at him to see his mouth hanging open.

"It is one of my favorite memories. It was always so peaceful out there in nature."

"So you chose to sleep on the ground under a sheet held up by a stick? Granger I haven't been
worried about your mental state until just now."

She rolls her eyes at him again. And leans back on her hands.

"I think you'd like it."

"I can assure you, I would not."

As he is saying this, inspiration hits her. She jumps up off of the floor and runs over to one of the
large chairs.

"Granger, you okay?"

"Perfectly fine Malfoy, now get up and grab the other chair for me please, and put it right there."
She points to a spot near the bottom of his blanket.
"What are you doing?"

She leans into the back of the chair, and pushes with her feet, trying to move it where she needs it
to be.

"I am going to give myself a hernia if you don't come over here and help... ooof!"

Suddenly the chair moves forward, and she falls backwards onto the floor, landing on her back.

A tall blonde comes into her vision above her, smirking down at her once again.

"Sorry." He reaches out his hand and she takes it, hoisting herself back up.

"No you're not. Just put the chair here, and put the other one... right here. Yes that should work."

He listens to her requests, and she runs into the closet, and grabs the extra sheets and blankets on
the top shelf.

"Are you going to tell me why we are rearranging the room in the middle of the night anytime
soon?"

"Just give me a second."

She takes the blankets and sheets, and tucks some underneath the bed, and places others over the
top of the chairs. She grabs some of Theo's artifacts, and places them as weight onto the edges of
the fabric to ensure they don't fall down. She keeps readjusting, pulling, adding, until she takes a
step back, and beams at her creation.

"Perfect," she whispers to herself.

She feels Malfoy come to stand beside her.

"I am going to need an explanation."

Without giving it to him, she grabs hold of his hand, and pulls him forward. When she is in front of
it, she yanks his arm down as she gets on her knees, pulls up one of the blankets and crawls
underneath. She turns back to see a terrified blonde staring at her in disbelief. She lets out a laugh
that probably makes him think she has officially lost it.

"Come on, Malfoy!"

He hesitates for a few moments before crawling in after her. He can't sit up straight without his
head hitting the blanket ceiling, but she did make it big enough for them both to lay down
comfortably.

"Granger, what is going on?"

She waves her arms around as she exclaims, "It's a tent! We're camping, Malfoy!"

His eyes widen at her statement and he looks around slowly before a genuine smile appears on his
face as he looks back at her.

"We're camping, Granger."

She laughs and throws herself down onto the blankets and pillows on the floor, patting the spot
next to her for him. He comes and lays down next to her, still keeping a few feet in between them.

"What do we do now?"

She can feel his eyes on her as she looks up at the triangular pattern on the blanket above them.

"Well, usually, my father would pull back the tent so I could look at the stars, but we will have..."

Malfoy pulls out his wand and waves it above them. In an instant, the triangular patterns disappear,
and a moving image of the starry night sky appears above them.
"Better?"

She stares up, amazed.

"Perfect."

She raises her hand to move it through the above image. She watches as the stars swirl around her
fingers like smoke before going back to where they belong.

"When I get my magic back, you will have to teach me that one."

"Deal."

They sit in silence, just watching the image of the night sky. Hermione watches as a shooting star
goes across the apparition.

"Have you ever heard of wishing on a shooting star?"

"No."

"It is a muggle tradition. Every time you see a shooting star, you make a wish. It is folklore that it
will come true due to the shooting star's magical power."

"Shooting stars aren't even stars, just particles combusting in the atmosphere."

She rolls her eyes and looks over at him. "You know, you should really write children's books."

He smiles at that.

"I know you think the same thing. I remember how much you hated anything dealing with
divination."

He places both arms underneath his head as he looks at the draco constellation in the sky.
 Art created by incendiosketches and generously commissioned by Mae.

"Okay, what do we wish for?"

"Anything you want, but you can't tell anyone what you wished for until it comes true."

"So we just think of something we want, and that's it?"

"Basically."

She waits for a condescending remark or irritated huff, but it never comes. She looks up at him
again to see his eyes closed.

"Granger."

"Yeah?"

"I am trying to wish over here, and I can feel your big brown eyes digging into my head."

"Sorry."

She turns her head and closes her eyes, thinking about what she should wish for.

Would it be possible to go back in time?

No, that wasn't realistic.

Wish for something realistic, Hermione.

I wish...

I wish for us all to make it out of this alive, on the inside and outside.

Yeah... that really isn't realistic either...

It's not like you believe in any of this anyways. Just an amusing thing to do, nothing more.

"What did you wish for?"

She opens her eyes and sees him leaning on one elbow, looking down at her.

"You know I can't tell you that. Or the wish won't come true."

"Will you tell me when it does?"

"Only if you do."

He lets out a long yawn as he nods his head in agreement.

"Deal."

She finds herself yawning back at him.

"We should get some sleep."

She agrees and watches as he lays back down next to her, closer than before.

This is nice...

This has been a really nice night...

And I had it with Malfoy.

See how much easier it would have been if you hadn't been so bloody terrible to me all those
years? We could have been friends.

"Goodnight, Malfoy."

"Goodnight, Granger. Thanks for taking me camping."

She falls asleep with a smile on her face.

She feels his chest underneath her head rise up and down as he sleeps. She must have been allowed
to sleep in the bed as a reward for last night's performance. It was so much more comfortable than
the floor. She doesn't want it to end, but she knows how he likes to wake up in the mornings.

Maybe he will give me a book to read today while he is gone if I do well.

She raises her head slightly off his chest and starts trailing light kisses on his neck and collarbone
as she lifts his shirt up, exposing more skin for her to touch. She feels his breathing change from
the rhythmic way of sleep to that in between place.

Make him happy, pet, and you may get a reward.

She lowers her head to his chest, keeping her eyes closed as she kisses harder at the skin down to
his waist. A hand comes up and slides into her hair, rubbing with his thumb as she works her way
lower. She can feel his arousal against her chest, so she presses against it, moving up
simultaneously, and licking across his stomach. She hears him make a guttural noise and feels his
hand squeeze her scalp, and she lets out a smile at her evident success.

Suddenly, the hand in her hair disappears, and she feels two hands pulling her up roughly.

What did I do wrong?

"Granger, stop!"

The large hands pull her into a chest and wrap around her tightly.

"Come back, come back. He isn't here, remember? You don't have to make him happy anymore.
It's me; it's Malfoy."
Oh, my gods...

Not again.

Bitch get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head!

You need me, pet...

No! No! No!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

"...made a bloody tent, remember? And I conjured a sky full of stars. I'm going to teach you how
when you get your magic back, okay?"

She feels herself nod her head into his chest.

"I'm here. I'm here."

He pulls back, and she can't find the courage to look up at him. How could she look up at him after
what she had just done? It was so much worse than in the loo yesterday. She had now done things
to him without his consent three times.

"I..."

Her body lets out a loud hiccup through her tears as she looks down to his neck, where she had
been kissing seconds ago. There are light pink spots as proof of her actions that are already
beginning to disappear.

"I am so sorry, Malfoy. I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive, Granger; it's okay. I'm sorry this is happening to you."

She shakes her head vigorously and finally looks up at him, seeing he can't look at her either.

"No, there most certainly is, Malfoy! That... That is the third time I have taken advantage of you,
that I have... done things to you without your consent, that I sexual assual..."

"Stop right there, Granger."

Her mouth shuts at his authoritative tone.

"You did none of those things, you hear me? You are not responsible for any of those actions. And
I am fine. I am not mad at you. You are trying to make sense of many horrible things that are
impossible to ever really understand, and you are healing. Give yourself some of the grace you so
easily bestow on others."

He finally looks up at her. She sees how sincere he is. He means every word he is saying, and once
again, she is left not knowing how to respond.

"I hate this."

"Me too."

"I hate him."

"Me too."

"I want to kill him."

"Me fucking too, Granger."

She looks down at her hands.

"How, how do I get through this? I want to get through this, but will I ever be able to sleep in a bed
again, or sleep next to someone, or be around people smoking, or kiss, or have sex? Or are all of
those going to be forks for me!?"

She knows she must sound crazy, and she feels crazy. She has felt like she was going insane slowly
for a long time. If she couldn't have those things, if he always had them, kept them. Did she want a
life like that? Did she want to feel this constant weight and pain with every breath for forever? Was
it worth it to continue on?

"Theo told you the terrace incident?"

She nods her head without looking up.

"Did he also tell you he used to be unable to look people in the eyes when they spoke to him? Or
how he couldn't eat meat? Or how he used to be unable to sit in the same room as someone
drinking firewhiskey? Did he tell you about all the pieces he got back with time? Because he looks
you in the eyes when you talk to him, doesn't he? And the bugger could possibly give the Weasel a
run for his money when it comes to eating nowadays. And he not only can be with us when we
drink, but he can drink it himself. He got all those back, Granger. He got more back than he lost,
and so will you."

"Are you going to be able to get back what you are giving to keep me here?"

Now it is his turn to look down at his hands.

"I didn't lose anything. I never had what I am giving in the first place."

She doesn't know what he means by that.

"I... I don't know if comparing me to Theo is fair. He is a much stronger person than I am and..."

"Granger." She feels his hand under her chin as it gently pulls her gaze up to meet his. "I need you
to look at me as I say this. Because I am getting bloody sick of you believing in what some fucking
sociopath tried to make you instead of who you are. You are the strongest witch I have ever met.
You are terrifyingly brilliant. The Dark Lord knows this. Dolohov knows this. Anyone who has
ever laid eyes on you knows how you have the power to remake this world. Don't let them stop
you."

Wow, speechless again, huh?

Of course I am. Who bloody says things like that to people?

You like the way he talks about you, don't you?

Who wouldn't?

This... this is dangerous.

She lets out a sniffle and gives him a weak smile. "You know I am getting tired of you leaving me
speechless."

"Get used to it, Granger."

"You really believe all those things you just said?"

He nods his head, staring into her eyes, not backing down. He is always so intense. It is
overwhelming. Overwhelming in the best way that lights that fire in her. That makes her believe
for a moment that this will get better. As long as she had people making her feel things rather than
constantly feeling the weight of what happened.

"I made a promise to myself a long time ago to never say anything untrue towards you again. And I
will never break that promise."

"When did you make that promise?"

"After calling you that word for the last time."

She smiles up at him.

"Thank you, Malfoy. I..."

Just say what you are thinking, be intense. Take a page from his own book and damn the
consequences.

She reaches out and places her hand on the side of his face.

She was so grateful for him. She knew he was always this person deep down. The little moments
they had between each other over the years always showed her what was really going on inside the
blonde's head. A part of her always knew.

That is why it drove her insane and made her so angry when he was less than he could be. When he
was being cruel to her and others.

All an act built on prejudices passed down. She wouldn't accept him into her life, enabling that
behavior as he used to be, and that is always what kept the divide between them.

But she always hoped that someday, he would be brave. And he had. She wouldn't be here now if
he hadn't.

"You are one of the bravest people I know."

It comes out before she really thinks it through. His speech had been so well put together, so heart-
 wrenching. She just called him brave. But the look he is giving her now, she would have thought
she told him something life-changing.

"You think I'm brave?"

She rubs the side of his face with her thumb and nods. She wants to tell him more. Wants to tell
him how her heart had always been broken over how she watched him slowly fall apart under the
weight of his parent's decisions.

How she knows she would be dead twice now if it wasn't for him.

How she knows he had been the one to always put her mugs of tea on the librarian's front desk
because she knew what his handwriting looked like.

How she started leaving them on purpose to get another note from him.

She opens her mouth to confess it all.

"Malfoy I..."

"What the actual fuck! You guys built a tent without me!?"

Chapter End Notes

TW!!! - Discussion and depiction of sexual abuse.

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram

Embedded art by Incendiosketches:

Twitter & Instagram
 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The tent now takes up the entire room.

Over the past four days, Granger and Theo had exhaustedly added more and more onto the colossal
fabric heap, to the point you had to crawl through the damn thing to access the bathroom and
closet.

He could now sit up in it without his head raising the blanket ceiling, and it even had sectioned off
rooms and some decor Theo was adamant on adding. They had done it all without any magical
help, which made it more impressive to the two of them and more ridiculous to him.

Yesterday, he had forgotten about the monstrosity and knocked over a large section as he ran into
the room to grab Granger a pair of shoes, so they could take a walk in the gardens.

He thought Theo was going to cry. The bloody bastard was way too into this, but that was always
how Theo was, obsessive.

Granger had forgiven him quickly, like always, and had distracted Theo by coming up with a better
design for the destroyed section and recruiting him to help her create it.

Now it has a fucking loft.

How they had done it and made it structurally sound was beyond him, but with two of the brightest
people he knew creating it, he wasn't surprised.

He didn't help more than he did the first night by moving the two chairs Granger had asked him to.
But he also did not fight when she continued to drag him into the tent the last three nights.

Though they now slept in their own sections. After what happened the first night, he was adamant
about that. She slept in the alcove next to his, and at some point during the second night, she
pushed the blanket separating their two areas a couple of inches to make an opening right by their
faces so they could see each other.

Theo also started sleeping in it as well.

Voluntarily.

It was like he was a kid again.

Three fucking king-size beds, and they all were sleeping on the floor, underneath a tower of
blankets.

Only Granger...

He took part in a liaison meeting yesterday as the unit strategist, but other than that, the three of
them had been together the last few days. Rather than the damn tent, Theo focused heavily on
researching the magic behind the tattoo on Granger's neck.

They would need her to have her magical abilities, and he knew it was killing her not to have them.
While she was much better off than he would have been due to her muggle upbringing, her first
instincts were to always reach to her side for her wand when she needed something. He had no idea
where her wand was. Dolohov having it was his guess. He would need to get that back before this
was all over.

Granger read through the books he had given her at least three times already and spent most of her
time in the library or the balcony meditating and practicing occluding.

He plans to test her today to see how she has progressed.

He really hopes she can organize her thoughts. Her mind had been... scary. He would never admit
that to her, but he had never seen a mind so chaotic as hers had been; so contradictory, and split,
and loud. He has no idea how the woman operates, let alone shines every day with everything he
knows she is battling internally.

"How long has she been like that?"

Draco says as he sits down with a fresh mug of tea for Granger. Theo sits across from him with 11
different books splayed on the two tables in his library. Granger is on the couch, her eyes closed,
looking almost asleep.

Theo looks up from the hefty and dusty tome he is scouring. "Maybe an hour, not sure. I got lost as
well."

"Finding anything?"

Theo nods his head and, without looking up, slides a stack of four books in front of him.

"They are all marked where I believe there is some helpful information. It is definitely blood
magic, no doubt. I am wondering if runes are involved as well, or if it is something similar to our
Dark Mark. If that is the case, it is the first of its kind."

Draco flips the first book open to the marked section and begins to read about the combination of
blood magic and tattoos.

"Though, let's hope not because that line of thinking is pretty bleak."

He looks up from the book. "You mean it is possible it could be permanent?"

Theo tilts his head to the side and runs his hand over his face to hold back his mess of curls. "I
don't know; that's the worst-case scenario. If it is like our marks, it will be active until the person
her magic is bound to, dies. But the tattoo itself will never go away. And I am guessing that person
is Dolohov. So add another reason to kill the fucker. Not that you need another reason."

Draco looks over at Granger, who still hasn't moved. The bruising on her face is now completely
gone. All of her lacerations, cuts, and burns have healed nicely and do not require any dressings.
After the past couple of days of venturing into the sun, her skin became golden again. The same
skin tone that went with one of her many nicknames so well. And her freckles started reappearing
as well.

Outwardly, she was almost back to looking like herself. Though, on the inside, she was still
struggling.

You already failed her...

Her switches still happened daily, and he also noticed that she had placed towels over all of the
mirrors in Theo's home. He didn't know why, but neither he nor Theo wanted to ask. She had
started sharing things with both of them on her own, so they trusted when she was ready, she
would tell them.

She also made up a list of triggers and things to avoid so they could help her better, but it seemed
like every day, they were adding to that list.

Can't eat at a table.

Don't pull her hair.

Cover all the mirrors.

No fires of any kind.

Get rid of the strawberries, and never buy them again.

Avoid using the words swallow, or calm down, or pet, or toy, or cock, or cunt or... The list went on
and on.

"No, I don't need any more reasons..."

Theo pulls out another book and places it in front of Draco. "I have also been looking into some
trauma information. And I think you should check this out. It could help you... be there for her in
the most appropriate way."

Appropriate? What the hell does that mean?

He hadn't told Theo about what had happened the first night in the tent. He was still beyond
humiliated and disgusted with himself to even acknowledge it with Granger.

He knew she had curled up into him sometime throughout the night when he had woken up to find
a mess of brown curls covering his face.

He should have moved then. He knows he should have, but he was a selfish bastard who had
fantasized about waking up to her on his chest 47 times too many, so instead, he found himself
wrapping his arm around her and pulling her tighter. Draco went back to sleep, thinking he would
wake up before her and move himself later. He just wanted to enjoy it a little bit longer.

The next thing he knew, he felt lips grazing his neck and his shirt lifting up. He had dreamt this
fantasy before as well. In his mind, Granger always started at his neck. He thought he was
dreaming. Honestly, he did. And then she had gone down to his chest and stomach, and her lips
were doing fantastically mind-blowing things, and a part of him realized this all felt too real.
But he had still placed his hands into those wild curls and felt their texture run through his fingers.
He kept telling himself this couldn't be real and just enjoy it.

But then he felt her breasts press against his throbbing dick, feeling it slide between them as she
moved up. That glorious, glorious feeling was followed quickly by absolute terror. Granger had
switched, and he was taking advantage of it, tenting his pants as high as the tent they were in.

He had wanted to throw up. And then she was crying a-fucking-gain and saying things like she had
assaulted him, and he wanted to Avada himself on the spot.

He needed to be better. He had been dreaming about getting an opportunity to treat her the way he
always longed to. And now he had it. Well, at least the most he was ever going to get, and he was
screwing it up to hell. He needed to do better. He wanted to be better.

For her.

Always and only.

For her.

He looks down at the book in front of him 'The complete thesis of Dr. Andrew H. Witkinson on
Trauma Bonding and Relational Structures for Victims of Sexual Crimes.'

"What are you getting at Nott?"

Theo re-adjusts in his chair uncomfortably, looking down into his lap. "I just... read the book. It
says it better than I ever could, and I would rather not get another black eye anytime soon. Don't
tell Blaise, but you punch harder."

Deflecting with humor, not working this time, Theo.

"Is this some backhanded way of telling me you think I am taking advantage of her?"

Draco goes from irritated to furious. How could Theo think something like that? He had actively
stopped her from doing things he had dreamed of her doing to him multiple times now in the last
two weeks. Doing things to keep her here and safe that he never wanted to do, but keeping that to
himself to not put that onto her or Theo.

He had been giving away pieces of himself for so long for her. To keep her safe and away from
people who would take advantage of her. He knew there would be nothing left of him by the end of
this, and he had made his peace with that. And Theo knew this more than anyone. So how in the
fucking world can he think that he was taking advantage of her?

Theo's eyes widen as he looks up at Draco. He starts shaking his head vigorously.

"Shit no, no that's not what I'm saying. Fuck, it's not that you are taking advantage of her. It's
just..." His eyes start traveling back and forth quickly down at the table, and his mouth keeps
moving in mute words as he tries to figure out what to say. "She has become very attached to you,
Draco. Surely you have noticed that. It's almost like a dependency, you know?"

"She has become attached to you as well, don't think I haven't noticed."
Theo scrunches his eyebrows together. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean. You are accusing me of something you are just as guilty of."

He scoffs. "I'm not trying to stick my dick in her."

"You sure about that?"

Theo's eyes glare back at him. Draco continues, not wanting to hear what he suspects Theo might
say back to his last outburst.

"Of course, she is going to be bloody attached to us. We are the only people she has to interact
with, and the only people she has interacted with outside of the psychopaths she endured for the
last six months."

"That's what I am trying to say, Draco. Because we are those people for her, we just have to be
careful. That's all. She is... her mind, and heart, and soul are all still trying to heal, and we have to
remember that when she is handing out her words, affection, and trust. That is all I'm saying."

Theo throws his palms in the air, waving a white flag at Draco, trying to end the conversation
before it becomes physical.

"Just... Read the damn book, okay? I found it helpful, and I think you could too."

Draco places the book into his inside pocket and nods, not trusting himself to say anything at the
moment as his anger subsides. They sit there in silence for a couple of minutes. Both pretend to
read the books in front of them but actually replay the conversation in their heads.

"Oh, and I believe you about not fooling around or fucking in my loo."

Draco blinks and looks back at his friend, and smiles.

The bloody bastard and his dark sense of humor...

"Who fucked in the loo?"

He turns around to see Granger stretching her arms above her head and letting out noises that do
something to him that they shouldn't.

"Did you just say fuck?"

He had never heard her use language like that before.

Why is it turning you on is the more important question?

Because everything she does turns you on.

Her existence lately is enough to turn you on.

"No, I said fucked."

Theo lets out a laugh behind him. "The Golden Girl cursing like a sailor, are we having a bad
influence on you already?"

She stands up and bends down to touch her toes.

Thank Merlin, she is facing you...

The other way...

In those muggle jeans...

He feels a poke on his shoulder and blinks.

"I'm not the one eye fucking her right now..." Theo whispers as Granger walks over and takes the
seat next to him. He slides the mug of tea he had made over to her.

"Ugh, yes, just what I needed. Thank you."

She takes the mug in both hands and drinks almost a third of it before placing it on the floor, away
from the precious pages of course. Had he never told her?

"Granger, you can keep the mug on the table. It won't spill."

She shakes her head and pulls one of the books Theo marked off the stack.

"Malfoy, you have no idea how many times I spill my mugs. I could never risk ruining books due
to my clumsiness. It is fine on the floor."

"It won't spill, I assure you."

More of an action kind of bloke, he bends down around her chair, grabs the mug, and begins tilting
it upside down on top of the books lining the table.

He hears a gasp from both sides of the table and watches them instinctively launch their bodies
over the books, trying to protect them.

The cup is now completely upside down, and Granger turns her head and looks up.

"See?"

Her eyes widen, and she sits back up in her chair, taking the mug right side up in her hands and
tilting it back and forth over the floor.

"Bloody hell, you almost made me have a heart attack! You know these two books right here are
first editions, and this one has handwritten notes from the author inside it, and this one is... well,
it's nothing special in the historical or collectors way, but I fucking like it!"

Theo holds all the books close to his chest like he would a child and caresses them gently.

"I didn't know there was a charm that could do this. All those bloody nights in the library...
walking a path over to my tea... and then back to my books when I could have just... Where did you
buy this?"

"The mug? At Diagon Alley."

"Which store? I need all the cups I use to be like this."

"The mug was just a normal mug at the store. I created that charm. I'll place it on all the mugs in
the cupboard."

She jerks her head up to him at his statement. "You made this charm? How, why, when..."

"Breathe, Granger. Your surprise over my ability to create a charm is offending me. It is a simple
confinement spell with a small adjustment. Nothing to stammer about."

She shuts her mouth, which was still forming words, and blushes. She had been doing that a lot
lately, and with the color coming back into her skin, it was becoming more noticeable.

"Downplay it all you want, Malfoy, but I know this was not simple, so thank you. You made two
of the things I enjoy the most even more enjoyable for me."

You're doing better.

Keep doing things that make her talk to you like that.

Inside he feels like a rush just shot through his veins, but outwardly, he simply nods his head. With
Theo's words still floating around in his mind, he is going to try to be careful.

"How was your occluding session?"

She places the mug next to the book she had opened and smiles down at the view.

"Good. I think I found an organizational pattern that works for me. I have been collecting and
sectioning lately."

"Would you be up for another lesson? So I can see how you have improved."

She nods her head vigorously. "Yes! I think I am ready. My mind feels quieter too, and I want to
start helping with whatever you have in mind for getting us out of this situation."

You. Not us.

Draco turns his chair to face his brunette, and she follows suit with excitement written all over her
face. Nothing made her shine more than a challenge.

"50 galleons richer here I come!"

Granger turns her attention over to Theo and gives him a questioning look.
"Draco and I have a friendly wager going on. We both think we know what your organizational
pattern will be, so don't fail me now, Hermione! Or no Quiblee's Complete Anthology for you."

She rolls her eyes at him. "You're rich, Theo."

Theo's smile disappears from his face. "Don't ruin the fun, Hermione. That's Draco's job. Shit,
maybe we are rubbing off on you too much."

She laughs at him and shakes her head.

She laughs at him a lot.

More than she laughs at you.

Well, you're not funny.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"Okay, the same as last time. Whenever you're ready, begin."

He watches her crack her neck and close her eyes. Her chest starts to rise and fall in a rhythm, and
he can see her body relaxing. He waits a couple more minutes before pressing forward with his
magic and entering her mind. Like she had learned that legilimens all had a different feeling or
signature as they used their magic, so did minds. Hers feels fresh. Almost clean. Like how the
snow looked before traveled on, or how paper felt. Her mind has a rightness about it while she
holds up the nothingness. It had been the same the last time before he had pushed back the curtain.

He hesitates in the comfortable darkness. He likes how her mind feels on his magic. It is warm and
makes him feel like he belongs. She keeps holding the emptiness, and he is impressed at her
concentration. He takes a deep breath.

Here we go...

Be damn bookshelves, or Nott will never let me hear the end of this...

He pushes past the darkness as gently as he can while still moving it. Last time it all had hit him
like a tidal wave. Giving him a headache for hours after. This time he enters and sees nothing.
Nothing at all. It is like her mind has no memories, no images, no voices.

Bloody hell...

Where are you, Granger?

It had taken him over a month before being able to hide his mind this well. He begins to push
harder and finally feels a slip and takes advantage of it. He finds himself in a large room filled
with...

Eat shit, Nott!

I know my girl.

Bookshelves. How very Granger of her. He starts traveling across the rows and notices the labels
outside each bookcase. Harry, school, mom and dad, Crookshanks (which is almost as large as
Harry's. Her obsession with mangy redhaired things would never make sense to him), horcrux...

He stops.

He had heard that word before, during one of the meetings at Malfoy Manor before the Battle of
Hogwarts. Why would Granger have an entire bookcase filled with memories dealing with that
word?

He moves ahead, passing the wanker, and wanker adjacent by birth, a surprisingly filled bookcase
on the subject of candle making, and then pauses at another row. A large row. Maybe the largest.
Master. That is the label she chose to place this row as.

Not Dolohov, master.

Granger no...

He decides it's time to get out. He hated doing this to her. It feels like a violation, and Merlin
knows she has been violated enough.

He blinks and sees Granger slowly open her eyes and shake her head, bringing up one hand to
caress her temple.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's just exhausting. I think I did too much sectioning today." Theo holds out her mug of tea,
and she gratefully takes it and drinks. "So, you know what I am going to ask."

He smirks at her.

"You did bloody great, Granger. You never cease to impress me." The smile he gets makes his
veins shoot that feeling again. "I did not see or feel any unorganized memory or image. To say that
is an improvement from the last time is an understatement I think we both can acknowledge. The
next step is to fortify and manipulate."

"As in, only show what I want to show, correct?"

"Correct. You place barriers around memories that make your mind look empty. Chapters 32
through 46 cover this area thoroughly enough to give you a starting point. I would like you to try
on one or two specific memories, and tomorrow evening I will see how you do."

She rubs her temple again and nods her head.

Theo fidgets back and forth in his chair before he finally slaps his hands down on the table. "Okay,
spit it out, damn it! Filing cabinet or bookshelf?"

"Bookshelf."

Draco grins obnoxiously as his friend falls back in his seat and places his hand over his heart.

"You break my heart, Hermione! I would have bloody sworn it would be a filing cabinet. It is
much more logistically efficient." Draco holds out his hand across the table and raises his
eyebrows, but Theo scoffs. "Bloody prick, you know you still owe me for the last bet you lost, so
let's call it even."

He laughs and puts his hand back in his lap.

"What was the last bet?" Granger asks as she takes another sip of her tea.

Theo sits up in his chair again and points out into the hallway. "Fucking Blaise put a huge stain on
the ceiling in my bedroom during one of his rowdy sessions during gambling night. I'm sure you
noticed it. It's hard to miss. And he refused to take care of it like the bastard he is, so Draco and I
had a bet for how long it would be before he would finally do something about it. He bet 3 months.
I bet never. It's been 4, so he lost."

Granger starts laughing again as Theo is talking.

"So you both are friends with Blaise Zabini?"

"Yes. He is in our unit. Along with Pansy and Daphne."

"Do... do they know I'm here?"

Draco nods. "I had to inform him why I was placing some of my duties on him, so Blaise does,
which ensures Pansy does, which means Daphne does as well."

Granger quirks an eyebrow at him. "Blaise and Pansy are together?"

Theo sticks a finger into his open mouth as if to throw up. "Oh, they're together alright. Together in
my kitchen, together on my balcony, one time even together on this table."

They all instinctively lean back from the table.

"And that doesn't bother you?"

She is looking at him. Why the hell is she looking at him with that question? Yes, he and Pansy
used to fool around, and they did not ever try to hide it, but it was never more than convenient sex
for him and a try at his title and vault for her. They both used each other. They never had actual
feelings for one other. And Theo could say what he wanted, but he knew Pansy well enough to
know what she and Blaise had was real. He was happy for them. That amid the hell all of them
were in, they could find one small piece of happiness.

"Why the fuck would that bother me?"

"Well, because you two used to, you know..."

He raises an eyebrow at her as she twirls a piece of her hair nervously. "Fuck? Shag? Have sex?
Surely you don't think I ever made love to her."

She drops the piece of hair and rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest with the gain of
confidence and fire his snarky remarks usually brought out in her.

While he hears Theo scoot his chair back from the table, he finds himself leaning his body closer to
her. She is doing the same.

Let's play Granger.

"Do you have to be so crass, Malfoy?"

"Well, that's what it was, Granger. We used each other a long time ago. Why the hell would I care
who she is shagging now when I didn't care back then?"

"That is so disrespectful! If Pansy was here and heard you..."

"She'd agree with me. She knew what she was to me. I never pretended she was anything more
than a convenience and distraction. I didn't take advantage of her feelings, and shit like you are
thinking."

She smashes her fists on the arms of the chair.

Here comes the fire.

"That is not what I am thinking, Malfoy! I am quite aware that love and sex are not the same thing.
But to be so comfortable with using her, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Ashamed? Ashamed for having consensual sex with a girl? Why the hell would I be ashamed?"

"Because, like you just said earlier, you didn't care about her! And you are proud of that! You are
proud that you fuck girls instead of making love to them. What does that say about you?"

"I said I didn't care if she shagged someone else, Granger, that doesn't mean I didn't or don't care
about her well-being. If an attractive girl wants to fuck me, I am not going to deny myself a small
moment, a small reprieve from the hell that is my existence."

She starts to shake her head vigorously back and forth in her frustration. "How you say things is
just as important as what you say, Malfoy. And you have a very ugly way of putting things
sometimes."

"I'm just being honest, Granger. Sometimes the truth is ugly. You spend too much time in your
pretty lies."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Draco..."
"It means you lie to yourself more than anyone I know."

"Excuse me?!"

Draco leans forward more. "How many times Granger, how many times did you step into the
background to let the Chosen wanker and the Weasel take the lead? How many times did you give
yourself, so they didn't have to? How many times did you tell yourself the Weasel didn't mean
what he did, or that Potter didn't mean to not include you, or that you were fine with taking the
brunt of their actions, or..."

"Draco, stop!"

"...or that he thought of you when he was with Lavender, or that you were fine with following
Potter's extremely straight and narrow moral compass, or that they were coming to save you..."

Too far!

Too far!!

Stop you fucker!

What the hell? This was just supposed to be another game.

You're mad at them for those things, not her, damn it!

Draco shuts his mouth with a loud clap and squeezes his eyes shut. A coward, that's what he was.
She had called him brave just the other day, but she had no idea how wrong those words were.

"So that's who you believe me to be? You didn't mean what you said the other night. You really
think I am some pushover, submissive, denial-filled girl. Well, thank you, Malfoy, for the
clarification and for continuing to prove my point of how ugly your choice of words can be."

"Granger, wait..."

He opens his eyes to see her leaving the room, putting a hand up to stop him from following.

Fuck.

Fix this.

Be better.

"No, you told me a couple days ago you would never say something untrue towards me again. I
believed you then, and I believe you now."

She leaves the room. She hadn't cried. Not one tear.
Because she wasn't surprised...

This is who you are.

He lets his head fall into his hands as he tries to think of a way to fix this. He can feel his brother's
eyes digging into the top of his skull.

"She didn't deserve that at all."

"You don't think I fucking know that?"

"Then why did you do it? Woke up on the wrong side of the floor today? On your man period?
Need to get laid? Because Draco, I don't care what your damn excuse is. Nothing will warrant you
using her as your own personal emotional punching bag. And doing it one time is one time too
many."

"I'm trying. I'm trying to be better."

He hears Theo kick his chair back and stand up. "Well, try harder, or so help me, Draco, I will
ward this place against you entering."

His head shoots up at the apparent threat.

"You wouldn't."

Theo is staring back down at him between the table and the door. "I would. I know what it feels
like to have someone take out all their emotions on you. I will not stand by and watch that happen
to someone else."

"It was an insensitive comment, Theo. I didn't hit her."

"Words can hit just as hard, Draco. And they can leave scars just as deep."

Draco lets out a frustrated sigh and rubs his palms into his eyes. "I'll apologize. I'll make it up to
her, I know..."

There is a pecking noise on the window.

"Fuck..." He whispers under his breath as he looks towards the glass-pained windows of the
balcony and sees the familiar owl.

"Shit."

He hears Theo behind him as he walks to the door and opens it to take the paperwork from the owl.
He opens the letter and skims through the pages.

"Tonight?"

"Right now."

Theo runs both hands through his hair and lets out a frustrated sigh.

He can't leave. He can't follow the lead. Not right now. Not after he had just said the things he had
said. He needs to stay and fix this. He needs to tell her all he was trying to in a nicer way. Because
he does believe what he said to her, but she was also right, he should have said it better. Less
cruelty involved. He should have been softer.

"I'll go tell Hermione and..."

"No, you're staying back. I'll have Pansy cover you. She can't be alone. Especially at night."

He wished he could stay. He honestly needed to stay, but he was the strategist of their unit. If there
was a lead, he had to follow it. He had to be there. Theo did not.

He hoped the lead he had created would take a few more days before making it up the chain of
command. After the raid that led to Lovegood's murder and his friends capturing and leading a
group of muggles to their deaths, he had ensured that it would never happen again.

He bought an ample supply of polyjuice potion from the black market and routinely visited hot
spots where he knew the Dark Lord's spies operated in gathering information. He would spend
hours as different people from across the world dropping utter nonsense disguised as leads and
viable information on safehouse locations and operations. He would go from pub, to market, to
hotel and leave little bits of information that would slowly create a lead to send to the Carrow Cunt,
who then would assign them to a mission to investigate.

He knows the address of the current lead is a run-down house in the middle of a ghost town he had
flown over in Italy during a summer in the manor his family owned there. It would be another dead
end, but the blame never went on him. He didn't come up with the leads, or so they thought.

He knew a couple of the spies had been terminated in the Dark Lord's favorite way, but he didn't
lose any sleep over that. He probably should. A better man would, but he had to keep those he
cared about safe, and this was the only way he could come up with, so it was all justifiable from
his perspective.

He folds the papers together and walks past Theo, who follows him.

"She isn't going to like this."

"She doesn't like me too much right now. I can't think of a better time to be called away."

"You don't mean that. I know you want to stay here more than anything."

"I do, but there is nothing I can do about it."

He opens the door to her room and stops in front of the tent. Without putting much thought into it,
he waves his wand, and the tent shrinks to fit into a corner of the room. Granger is left sitting in the
middle of the floor with her knees to her chest. Her face is wet from tears.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so fucking sorry.

"I'm not crying over you if that's what you're thinking."

He blinks slowly and moves towards the closet. "Wouldn't dream of it."

He pulls the bag he left ready on the top shelf and puts it over his shoulder.

"Where are you going? Malfoy, I'm not that upset, I promise."

She starts to stand and wipes her face dry. He holds out a hand to stop her.

"You are allowed to be as upset as you want. I was a prick, and I apologize, but I have been called
to follow a lead in Italy. I will be back tomorrow morning if nothing goes wrong. I will send an..."

"Wait, you're leaving? You're really leaving?" He looks down at her as she walks into his path with
her hands out to stop him. "You... You can't leave. You can't go that far away. You can't. I... You
have to stay. Can't someone else go?"

"I have to keep up appearances if I want to get you out of here, Granger. I have to go. Theo is
staying so you won't be alone and..."

He watches as she reaches out and grabs ahold of his robes in white-knuckled fists shaking her
head back and forth.

"No..." Her voice breaks as she becomes emotional again.

You've made her cry twice today.

New personal best...

I hate myself.

"Please, please don't leave, please I... I need you to stay. Please stay. What can I do to make you
stay?"

What the hell?

He looks from Granger up to Theo, who is standing behind her. He gives Draco an 'I told you so'
look and pats his chest where he had put the book he had given him earlier. Something wasn't right
about this.

She starts making those terribly heartbreaking noises again.

"Please, you will get hurt. I just know it. Please, I can't lose anyone else to this damn war that we
didn't want to be a part of in the first place! Please stay. I forgive you, Malfoy. I'm not upset, I
promise. I'll try to sleep in a bed, so you don't have to sleep on the floor. I'll eat at the table like you
have wanted us to. I..."

"Granger, stop."

She closes her mouth immediately and starts shaking. Draco instinctively pulls her into his arms
and squeezes how he has learned helps with her shaking.

She was switching. As she was talking just now, he heard her voice changing to the one who had
been trained. The part of her that reacted submissively to a threat in front of her.
 "Don't forgive me, Granger. I haven't earned it yet, but I promise I will. When I get back, I'll earn
it, and then, if you want, you can give it to me, okay?"

He feels her bury her head into his chest and take a deep breath.

"I'm leaving because I have to, not because I want to. Trust me, nothing in me wants to leave you.
But I have to. I have to if I want to keep you safe. If I want to keep you here. I promise you,
Granger, I am going to be fine."

He places his hand underneath her chin to pull her face to look up at him. This is killing him. The
fucking timing of it all doesn't help.

"I'll be back before you know it, I promise. And when I get back, I expect you to have a fiery
speech ready for me, reminding me of what a prick I am and what a cockroach I can be. Okay?
Make it a good one. Worthy of a punch to the nose again."

She lets out a small grunt that could have been a laugh and shuts her eyes. "I'll never figure you
out, Malfoy."

He smiles down at her. "You'll get bored of me when I stop being a challenge. You like a good
challenge, Granger."

She steps back to allow him to leave and walks over to Theo.

He hates that.

Why does Theo get to have the position to stay and comfort her? Why was he always the fucking
one who had to make the hard decisions, do the soul-killing things, watch from the sidelines to
ensure she stays safe?

He was getting bloody sick of it.

"I think I met my match with you. Stay alive, Malfoy."

He smiles at her and walks over to the fireplace, dreading the next 14 hours.

Chapter End Notes

TW!!! - Referenced abuse. (This is a lighter chapter)

 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

She won't stop crying.

He doesn't have a lot of history with girls, let alone crying girls, and if he was being honest, her
crying is making him nervous. His leg shakes up and down as he sits in the chair, watching her cry
between her hands.

It isn't a pretty cry. No, Hermione is an ugly crier.

Don't say that, you idiot. You may not know much about girls, but telling them, they don't look
good while crying sounds like it'll only lead to more crying.

How can he make it stop?

"Hermione, he is more than likely going to be okay. The safehouse raiding unit is one of the safest
units in the Dark Lord's army. Pretty sure Draco knew that when signing us all up."

She sniffles, and Theo accio's a handkerchief over to her. She blows her nose. Not a delicate little
blow, but what he imagines an elephant sounding like.

"Thanks." She wipes the back of her hand under both of her eyes even as the tears continue to
come. "He signed you up for the job?"

Theo nods his head. "Yeah, signed us all up. The other jobs were less than appealing, ranging from
enforcing the Dark Lord's beliefs and laws on children at Hogwarts to annihilating whole groups of
people. Seriously, it has been months since we have done anything more than just sitting outside
for hours watching nothing."

She blows her nose again, and Theo tries to hold back his grimace. "What happened before these
last couple of months? What happens when the lead is right?"

He did not want to answer those questions. At least not sober.

"Do you mind if I drink?"

She looks at him and shakes her head. "No, I think I'm fine with that. Thank you for asking."

He accios a bottle of firewhiskey and a glass from the kitchen. He pours some into the glass, and
downs the contents in one swig. It burns his throat and stomach, but he welcomes the painful
distraction. He used to not be able to be around the stuff since some of his beatings, and near-death
encounters occurred due to the use of the substance, but over the last year, he had found it didn't
spark the fear in him it once did, and then when he had tried some for himself, he was hooked.

According to Draco and Blaise, he was a happy drunk, unlike his father.
"Can I have some?"

Theo looks across at Hermione, staring at the empty cup in his hands.

"You drink?"

She rolls her eyes at him. "Not all the time, no, but I have before. My two best friends were blokes,
you know, and we spent almost a whole bloody year out in the woods together with a lot of
boredom. Drinking became a way to pass the time and to make it more interesting."

Theo accios another cup, and she reaches for it after he pours the amber liquid in. She takes a
sizeable impressive gulp, and he laughs when she grimaces as it goes down.

"Phew! It has been a while, though. Forgot how strong firewhiskey is."

"I have wine if you prefer it. But I want to hear about these drunk and interesting times with Potter
and Weasley."

She smiles up at him and leans back in the chair, taking another sip. He pours himself some more.
"Harry was a horribly silent drunk. Get more than three drinks in him, and he would go mute, just
staring in one direction for minutes before blinking. And Ronald is an absolute tosser! He always
gets pissed and ends up passing out, but not before having the worst mood swings I believe a
person can ever have."

Theo laughs at her descriptions, easily seeing both of the blokes fitting the image she was
portraying. "Well, that doesn't sound fun at all! You'll have to join us on our next gambling night.
Then you will see some fun drunks. What kind of drunk are you?"

Her cheeks redden as she takes another sip. "Well, I always say I am a pleasant drunk. Life of the
party, really. But Harry and Ron always said I was a flirt; I disagree."

Theo spits out the swig he swore was his last one. He doesn't feel like dealing with a hangover and
an undoubtedly angry blonde tomorrow. "You mean you are a horny drunk?"

Hermione's eyes widen at him in horror. "That is not what I said! I said... they said I was a flirt...
not... not that."

Theo rolls his eyes, takes one final drink, and puts the cap back on the bottle. "You are a horny
drunk. Never would have guessed that. Wonder if Draco would, we'll have to wager on it when he
gets back."

Somehow her huge brown eyes widen at him even more.

"You wouldn't! And I am not! I just like to dance when I drink."

"And take your clothes off?"

That gets him a slap on the shoulder.

"That happened once! And it was hot in that tent due to Ronald breaking my temperature regulating
box."

He almost sends his chair falling backward. "Wait, you seriously take off your clothes?! That's
grand! Oh, that's grand! I am sure Ron is a huge fan of you drunk."

She slumps back into her chair. "Actually, the complete opposite. That's why I never drank at any
of the house parties. He said it was disgusting how I acted when I got drunk."

Theo scrunches his eyebrows at her statement. That didn't make any sense. If he knew little about
Hermione before all of this, he knew even less about Ronald Weasley. He seemed like a fine bloke.
He tried too hard sometimes, but who didn't? All he knew about him was that Hermione Granger
had loved him for years. Everyone knew that. And that he was best friends with Potter. When
Ron's name was mentioned, it was always placed next to Harry or Hermione. Outside of her
affections for the redhead, Theo knew nothing about him. So why would a guy who had a girl
adoring him say something when more than likely, the show was done for him?

"No, he didn't. That doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't?"

"A bloke that's into you saying you taking off your clothes for him would be disgusting. Especially
a guy who knows he could have you if he wanted to."

He tips the bottle of firewhiskey in her direction, and she starts blushing even more.

"I hate it that everyone always talks about us like that."

"Like what?"

"Like he could just have me whenever he wanted me. It wasn't like that between us. We honestly
didn't get along at first. We only became friends because of Harry and that awful troll in the
bathroom during first year. He actually was sometimes horrid to me."

"This all sounds bloody familiar..." Theo says under his breath. He remembers how Draco always
told the story of how his affection began for the girl across from him. Maybe Draco had more in
common with the redhead than he thought? And maybe Hermione has a type.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, keep going because I still don't understand why the bloke would stop you from getting
naked in front of him. He does like you, right?"

Hermione looks down at her hands in her lap and presses her thumbs together. "I... I have a lot of
educated assumptions when it comes to Ronald Weasley, but he has never said that he likes me
directly, if that is what you are asking. We were always too bloody busy trying to save the world."

"That's a shit excuse, and you know it. Hermione Granger, I like you. I have liked you ever since I
saw that nest you call hair on the Hogwarts Express during year one. And as I have gotten to know
you more, my feelings for you continue to grow. So, would you want to go on a date? That took
less than 12 seconds, and I even added some embellishments that aren't needed."

Hermione laughs and finishes her glass of firewhiskey. "Maybe you're right."

"I know I'm bloody right. I may not have much experience with the opposite sex, but I know no
bloke who really liked a girl could be in the same damn tent with her for days on end and not make
a move. I don't care how close Harry was to you both."

Her smile disappears at his words.

Theo, you just told a girl that the bloke she has been pining after for years probably doesn't like
her that much. Do you want her to start crying again?

"Shit, sorry, Hermione. Don't listen to me. I have no clue about relationships and feelings. I don't
even know the guy. I shouldn't be sharing my assumptions on your relationship that has been
building for years."

"No, you're right, and I think a part of me has known that for a while now. At least since he dated
Lavender. It's just... everyone has always said the opposite of what you are saying now. Everyone
believes we are supposed to end up together. It is like we both know it but never change our
current situation to make it happen. So what does that say about us?" She pauses, pulls her knees
up into the chair, and hugs them. "I think we could have ended up together if everything had gone
right. I think we could have at least given it a chance, but... not anymore."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm not the same person anymore. Ronald is a lot of good things. He is loyal, brave,
giving, funny, comforting, and a good friend, but... but I am glad I haven't seen him. He wouldn't
handle me well anymore. He wouldn't know what to do."

Theo watches as another tear escapes her eye. No, Merlin, don't start crying again, Hermione.

Come on Theo boy, make her laugh. You are good at making her laugh.

I can't think of anything funny right now. You know I don't do well under pressure like this.

"Was the sex any good?"

Damn performance anxiety...

Her head shoots up at his question. He can admit that it is poorly placed and not something he
honestly desires to know about. But he doesn't think it is so ostentatious to grant him the look she
is giving him right now. He thought other people found it normal to talk about sex.

Fucking Blaise and Draco constantly did. And he had caught both of them in the middle of the act
before. Neither of them, or their selected partners, seemed too concerned about his presence. And
Pansy was the worst due to her having experience with both of them and reminding them quite
often.

When he first started hanging out with the crew, he had been taken aback a bit, but he quickly
became numb to their openness as long as it wasn't pointed in his direction.

Maybe the Golden Trio functioned differently? Although Harry's girlfriend could be pretty crass
when she wanted to be. Theo can remember a few times back in school when the redhead had said
things to the same level as the snakes.
"We... we never had sex. I was a virgin before, well... before all this."

Fuck. Well, that explains the look.

I am such an idiot.

"Merlin, Hermione... I, I had no idea. I'm so sorry. I just heard that you two were in love, so I just
assumed..."

"I wasn't in love with him. I had a crush on him. Why would I be in love with a guy who never
even told me he liked me or asked me out?"

"Well, from no first-hand experience of my own, I don't believe love makes sense too often. It kind
of just happens."

They both sit in silence for a couple of minutes. Theo is mortified with himself and at the reality
that Dolohov had taken more than he ever imagined.

He knew Draco believed she and Weasley had been together, especially after seeing them kiss
during the Battle of Hogwarts, but the fact she had been a virgin makes what happened to her all
the more heartbreaking.

"Hermione..."

She looks up from her hands, but her eyes see right through him. He wonders if she is regretting
admitting what she had to him. That was very personal information, and he understood the trust you
had to gain to receive information like that. He was glad she had chosen him.

"I'm so sorry he took that from you."

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and shakes her head. "Thank you, Theo. I know it will get
easier with time, but I am truly afraid he will always have that part of me, that I will never be able
to be with someone else because of what he did to me."

Trust me, Hermione, I understand fully.

Theo slides his chair over next to her.

"Nope, no way, that is too sad. That's not how your story is going to go, Hermione. Trust me."

Hermione leans over towards him and places her head on his shoulder. "How does my story go in
your eyes, Theo?"

Theo raises his hand into a fist and clears his throat dramatically like he is about to put on the
performance of his life.

"The Gryffindor Princess, The Golden Girl, The Brightest Witch of Our Age, and my personal
favorite of the Golden Trio will undoubtedly survive this hell we call war and will also play a huge
role in its end, probably killing the Dark Lord herself."

He hears her let out a laugh. "Oh yes, with no magic. I'll do it the muggle way with either a gun or
a knife."

"A knife, of course, Hermione! It has to be close and personal. She will then continue on to work
for the Ministry when it isn't the corrupt piece of shit it is now and creates reform after reform to
better the lives of those with less. She will either become the Minister of Magic, like everyone has
always said, or maybe Headmistress of Hogwarts, or maybe both. I wouldn't doubt her."

"That would be a workload even for me, but I do think the two positions should work together
more than they have in the past. The world is going to need unity after all this is through."

"Quite right, Hermione. Along the way, you will venture into the world of everlasting love with a
lucky bloke."

"Who's the bloke in your story?"

I am always on Draco's side.

"Let's just say he isn't a brunette."

"So not you?"

"God's no! Could you imagine our children? Their hair would be horrible! They would be the
laughing stock of the wizarding world. We can't do that to innocent children, now can we?"

She is laughing hard now, covering her mouth with one of her hands as her body shakes for a good
reason for once.

"They would have horrible hair, wouldn't they?! Yes, I agree; we cannot do that. Okay, so I end up
falling head over heels for some crazy fool who is willing to deal with me and all the shit I come
with nowadays, and he isn't a brunette. That's good; I've never really been into brunettes either. I
like lighter hair."

"Well, what do you know, Hermione! I happen to know this guy with some of the lightest hair I
have ever seen. He can be a bit moody every now and then, always saying things the wrong way
first before getting them right the second time. He has a really ugly tattoo, but he is rich and not bad
looking if you are into that whole tall, chiseled, and broody vibe, and he honestly would do
anything for the people he cares about."

She sits up off his shoulders with a look of distaste across her face.

"You're ridiculous, Theo."

"What? Too far?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

He can see he has made her uncomfortable. She is shutting off and getting defensive. The last
conversation they had is probably not helping her confusing feelings towards his brother.
He stands up from his chair and searches for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

"Sorry. The guy can be a prick for sure, as he showcased earlier, but we both know he meant that
more towards Harry and Ron than to you. But I hated the way he said it as well and even
threatened the scary blonde."

She stands up and walks over to the windowsill. It had started raining at some point. He doesn't
know what the weather is like in Italy right now, but he is happy to stay back and not have to spend
the entire night outside. Especially if the weather is anything like it is here.

"You did?"

"Yeah, told him I would ward him out if he did anything like that to you again. Which he knows I
could."

She stares outside at the rain and grabs the occlumency book sitting on the table next to the
window. "He is allowed to get mad at me. He is allowed to disagree with me. He is even allowed
to criticize me. But I refuse to let him be cruel to me ever again. For both of our sakes. And he was
walking a very fine line earlier."

Theo pulls out a cigarette and places it between his lips. "I agree. You better give him hell when he
gets back. We both are expecting a Granger, Malfoy showdown to rival the others. I am going to go
take a smoke in the library if that's okay."

She nods her head and keeps looking out the window. Theo walks out and down the hall to the
library. Not only does he need a smoke, but he also needs to finish cross-referencing some pieces to
learn more about the tattoo on her neck.

The more he researched, the less he believed it was like their Dark Mark and more that it was a
combination of blood magic and runes. And if that was the case, he was pretty hopeful they would
be able to break the spell binding her magic. It would be way quicker if he and Hermione could
combine their powers, but Draco said it was best to keep her in the dark until she proved herself as
an occlumens.

He sits down at the book-covered table and magically lights his cigarette, leaning back to keep the
smoke and ashes away from the books.

This bloody tome was no help. He was tired of reading the same basic information about blood
magic and runes in every different copy. But he has to read through every word to ensure it does
not contain something different.

He loves to read, shit he loves reading more than sleeping, but if he has to read the origins of the
runed marking one more time, he is going to jump off the balcony.

"Theo?"

He looks up, and sees Hemione stomping into the room with a determination he hasn't seen from
her the two weeks she has been with them.

"Hermione?"

"Give me a cigarette."

His eyes widen at her request. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"I'm taking this piece back. Or actually, making a new piece of me right now. So hand me a damn
cigarette, Theo."

The witch before him is terrifying. He finds himself reaching in his pocket, pulling out the pack,
handing it to her. She pulls out a cigarette, and Theo watches as she holds it all wrong.

"Have you ever smoked before?"

"No."
"Here like this." He reaches out and places the stick between her two fingers. "Not so tight, hold it
loose, but not too loose. Actually, how about we take a step back from the priceless books."

He follows her over to the sitting area and watches as she tries to relax her hand. She fails. He
smiles at her effort.

"Hold on, let me light it." He reaches out and waves his hand, lighting the cigarette.

Hermione stares down at it like a problem needing to be solved. "Now what? I just inhale and then
exhale?"

"Since this is your first time, keep holding it in your hands, and yeah, take a shallow inhale, hold it
in the back of your throat for a couple seconds, then exhale."

She nods her head, flipping her hair back out of her face, and raising the cigarette to her lips.

She takes an inhale, and he watches as her eyes widen, and she starts coughing uncontrollably, with
small puffs of smoke escaping with each noise. He can't help it. He starts laughing.

"That, that feels horrible! Why in the world would anyone enjoy this?"

She stares down at the stick in her hand with disgust. Theo places one in his mouth and takes a
large inhale, holding it back and using his tongue to help form and maneuver the smoke into
hollow rings that leave his mouth. "Keep inhaling; it gets better. Don't inhale with your nose, just
your throat, and it won't burn as much. Try again."

She does, and she does cough again, but her eyes do not water, and her cough is less severe. By the
sixth inhale, she is doing much better, still holding the stick wrong as hell, but it fit her to hold it
like that.

Theo watches as she finishes the cigarette and looks down at the nub left in her hands. Does she
have the urge to touch it to her skin? He knew first-hand how instinctive reactions form from abuse
from another's hands. He watches as she continues to stare down at it. Slowly he sees a small smile
form on her face. She reaches down to the table between them and smashes the cigarette into the
ashtray.

"Take that fucker."

Theo has never wanted to hug someone more at that moment. He thinks about sending an owl to
Draco to inform him of the progress that instant, but instead, he smiles and tosses her another
cigarette and lights it for her.

"Alright, Hermione, if we are going to be smoking buddies, you will have to learn to hold the stick
right."

It started storming a little after 2 in the morning.

They had decided to forgo their fantastic tent for the night and sleep on the floor. All to ensure
Draco didn't come tramping in the dark, tearing it apart again.

Theo is asleep in the room with her, as Draco usually did. They had smoked a whole pack of
cigarettes and had shared more stories from Hogwarts to pass the evening. The girl indeed was a
badarse. She told him about how it felt to ride a dragon, the incident of turning herself into a cat,
and Dobby, the house elf she called her friend.

Theo didn't have many exciting stories from his Hogwarts days, and the few he did have, the
blonde wouldn't allow her to know them yet.

So instead, he told her about the history of some of his prized collection pieces. She had listened to
every word, asked questions, and even helped him acquire a new art piece for the library. He knew
he had pulled the longest stick with his luck by not having to lay on some bloody hill like he knew
Draco was right now.

Theo is sound asleep when he feels a slight pressure on his shoulders. He turns around, taking a
few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness when a flash of lightning lights the entire room,
and he sees Hermione's face. It isn't her face. It is the other her, as she called it. The one that is so
fearful.

"Shit! Hermione, what's wrong?"

Her entire body is shaking harder than it had since those first two days. At the sound of thunder,
her body jumps, and a small scream escapes her as she grabs at the sides of her head aggressively.

He grabs his wand from underneath his pillow and pulls up a diagnostic chart. Her heart rate is
astronomical, her oxygen levels are nearing dangerous levels. She is having a panic attack.

He waves his wand again, lighting the candles in the room so he can see her better. She is wearing
one of Draco's shirts like she always did and a pair of flannel sweatpants that had a growing stain
on the front of them.

Did she?..

"Hermione, what's going on? What can I do?"

She lunges forward and falls on top of him. Her weight pushes them back to the floor as he takes
one hand and gently rubs her back.

"Please, please. I'll be good. I'll be good. Please just let me stay inside."

The girl who defied the man who had abused her by smoking a cigarette is gone.

"Hey, listen, no one is going outside, okay?"

"Please, Master. Drug me, inject me, fuck me anywhere you want please, please, I want you. I want
you so bad."

"Hermione, it's Theo! Remember, it's Theo!" He grabs hold of both of her shoulders and makes her
look up at him. Her eyes are manic, moving back and forth too quickly, and so dark they almost
look black. "Did he make you go outside in a storm? Is that what is going on? Tell me, Hermione,
tell me what he did."

He feels her body jerk slightly at her name, so he rolls with it.
"Your name is Hermione Granger. You were first in our class. Your best friends are Ronald
Weasley and Harry Potter. Remember him? The Chosen One? You were part of the popular crowd
in school, but you always were kind, and us not-so-popular kids appreciated that trust me. You
have a really hideous kneazle named Crookshanks. I think your middle name is Jean? Am I right,
Hermione? Is that your middle name?"

He watches as she blinks a few times and starts nodding her head.

"Okay, good, I thought so. And you once punched Draco in the chest, right? Back in 3rd year, or
was it 4th?"

"I punched him in the nose, and it was in 3rd year. His bloody sharp facial features cut my knuckle
in the process. Still have the scar."

"Well, I am sure he deserved it, knowing him." He lowers his hands and starts rubbing her upper
arms. She is still shaking, but her eyes are back, and her voice isn't that wispy one she uses when
she goes back to the place she had to go to survive six months with that fucker.

"He did."

Another loud rumble of thunder fills the room, and she visibly flinches again. She is still crying.

"Let's get you cleaned up, okay? Do you want another one of Draco's shirts?"

"This was the last one in my closet." She looks down at herself and freezes when she sees the wet
spot. "Oh gods... no, I didn't."

Theo takes her hand and basically carries her into the lavatory.

"Nothing to be ashamed of. I've done it plenty of times. Never thought I would be admitting that to
a girl, but here we are." He hands her a towel from the bathroom closet. "Do you want one of the
pajama sets he bought you?"

"Can I wear one of your shirts? I... it helps me remember... I'm not there."

He nods his head and starts walking out of the room. He walks to the guest room he was using,
opens up the closet, finds one of the t-shirts he wears regularly and a pair of his sweatpants, and
runs back to her room, not wanting to leave her alone for long.

He had never seen her have a switch, as Draco had come to call them, like that. She was back there
with him, in a memory that filled her with a fear that scared him. The fucker had been sadistically
creative. He couldn't imagine what she was reliving.

He walks to the bathroom door and knocks lightly. "Hermione, you okay in there?"

No answer.

Shit, come on, Hermione, answer.

"Hermione?"

"I... Can you help me? My arms... shaking. Won't stop."

"Yeah, I'm opening the door now."

He walks into the bathroom and sees her standing in soiled clothes. She is sobbing lightly, staring
down at her shaking hands. "They won't stop. I can't get them to stop."

Another loud burst of thunder sends her running into his chest. He lets out a grunt as she presses
him against the lavatory door.

"It's okay, Hermione, I'll help. Can you raise your arms for me?"

She does as he asks her, and he starts to raise her t-shirt, making sure his hands touch nothing but
the fabric of the clothing. He closes his eyes as he pulls it up and over her head.

"Never thought my first time undressing a girl would go like this."

He doesn't know if it is the time for his particular type of humor. Still, his hands have started
shaking as much as hers, and his nerves are compiling at the realization that Draco would probably
murder him if he ever found out he took his girl's clothes off. It also wouldn't help with the
growing jealousy he had seen in his mate earlier today.

He bends down in front of her with his eyes still closed. "Can you place my hands where they need
to be?"

He feels her fevered and shaking hands take hold of his and place them on the waistband of her
joggers. He moves his hands down an inch, grabs hold of just the material, and pulls them down.

"Draco is going to kill me. You realize that, right?"

"Sorry." He hears her step out of the joggers. Theo blindly feels around for the pile of clothing he
had placed next to him. He finds the sweatpants and holds them out in front of him.

"Okay, step in when you're ready, and I'll pull them up. Hold on to my shoulders if you need to."

He feels her shaking hands on his shoulders and a brush against his thumb as she places one leg in
the pants and then the other. He starts to pull up quickly, overwhelmed by all the contact, and the
fear that somehow the blonde would walk in at any moment.

She must have been stepping on a piece of the pant leg because when he tries to pull them up, he
ends up twisting her off balance. He hears her start to stumble before he feels her very naked body
fall on top of him.

"Shit!"

You're dead!

Is that her breast?

You're dead, you're dead.

Yeah, that is definitely her bloody breast.

Stop moving your hands, Theo, or you're going to touch more of her!

That's her bare naked arse pressing into your left hand.
Theo, you know what her arse feels like.

You're dead, you're dead, you're really fucking dead.

"Merlin Theo! Stop squirming so I can untangle myself!"

"Me? You're the one grinding your arse and tits all over me!"

He places his hands flat on the bathroom floor so he cannot be accused of squirming again. But she
still doesn't get off of him.

What the hell is she doing?

"Theo, open your eyes."

"Hell no. Not happening, Hermione. I just started to like living a little bit, thank you very much."

"Theo, open your damn eyes! My legs are tangled in the pants that are half underneath your body."

"Sounds like a personal problem."

She growls in frustration at him. If he thought Draco would kill him before, he was sure of it now.
He feels her press her naked body harder against him.

I never thought it would be so bloody terrifying the first time I had a naked girl on top of me.

"There, you can't see anything, Theo, now open your eyes, damn it! Or I'll show Malfoy this
memory during our occluding session tomorrow."

She wouldn't...

"You're an evil witch, you know that?"

Slowly he opens one eye at a time to see Hermione's face inches from his. Her crazy brown hair is
the only other thing he can see.

"Okay, now look over to your right. The pants are tucked underneath your leg."

"But I'll see your arse."

She huffs out a breath in frustration. "Yes, Theo, you will probably see my arse. I promise you, it is
one of my best features, so enjoy it because you will never see it again."
"I don't want to see it in the first place!"

"Just do it, Theo!"

He lets out a frustrated grunt and looks to his side where he can feel the pant leg bundled up
underneath him. He sees her one leg trapped in the tangled pants and... Yeah, there's her arse...
bloody fantastic. He moves his hand and leg to pry the fabric out from under her. He yanks at the
pant leg harder than he should, wanting this mortifying moment to be over with, and rips the
material, sending his hand flying and hitting her hard on the backside.

Oh my gods... You just smacked her arse...

He hears her yelp lightly. "Theo, what the actual hell?!"

"Yeah, like I meant to do that! I ripped the pant leg. You should be able to move now."

He closes his eyes again and feels her successfully lift off his chest. He tries to steady his breath
and get his raging nerves under control over what just transpired. "Can you put the shirt on? Or do
you need help?"

"I got it. That little fiasco brought me back."

Thank Merlin...

"Okay good, you okay? You seemed pretty shaken up earlier."

"Give me a second to continue this conversation when I am not half-naked, Theo."

He stays lying on the bathroom floor, honestly terrified to move an inch, until he feels her grab his
hand.

He opens his eyes to see an amused smirk on her face. He sneers. "Glad you find this funny. I
doubt you will when I am murdered tomorrow."

She helps him up, and he brushes off the front of his shirt and sweatpants.

"I'll protect you, don't worry."

"You better. You're probably the only one that can hold him back."

They walk out to the room, and Theo goes into the closet to get her a new blanket and grab her a
Draught of Peace potion he hopes she is willing to take.

Hermione is lying in his makeshift bed when he walks back out.

"Can I sleep with you? I... I don't trust myself to sleep alone with it storming."
Shit, I have never slept with someone before... I don't think I will like it either.

But she wouldn't ask unless she really needed to.

"Sure, I mean, we just got to second base; a little cuddling seems appropriate."

She frowns at him. "If it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to. You can just run a diagnostic
on..."

"Hermione, I was just kidding. Seriously, it is fine."

It really wasn't exactly fine. He is still pretty shaken from the last half hour. And he doesn't know
how to cuddle to save his life, nor does he think he really wants to. But he can't get the look she had
on her face or the words that spilled out of her to stop playing over in his mind.

He places the other blanket next to her, sits down, and she pulls the duvet up over both of them. He
hands her the potion, and she downs it without hesitation. She curls herself up next to him, pressing
against his arm as he lays straight as can be. He's pretty sure this isn't what cuddling is, but he
doesn't move to change it.

He turns his head over to her. It hadn't thundered again since the last time, but she keeps looking
out the window like she can see it coming.

"Do you want to talk about it? If you do, I'm here."

Some things just needed to be said to become real. And some things needed to be said so others
could help carry the weight of the memory. Theo has a feeling this was one of those moments.

She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh.

"During the first couple weeks. I fought him. I fought him a lot. And I was punished every time.
Somehow he never ran out of punishments."

He feels her hand searching for his, so he extends his fingers and intertwines them with hers.

This is holding hands, not cuddling.

This I can handle.

"One night while it was storming, he came back furious over something. He told me to calm him
down and proceeded to lay on the bed, waiting for me to do what he wanted. It was a part of his
training. To get me to stop fighting. I... I did what he wanted me to do. I... I didn't fight, but I
started crying while still on top of him, and he became furious with me. He had this collar attached
to a chain that he kept me on when he had to leave after I almost successfully k..." She pauses as
she chokes on her words and takes a minute to pull herself together before continuing. "He picked it
up, put it on me, and dragged me through the house saying horrible things to me. He opened a door
and yanked me out into the storm. Before I knew what was happening, he shut the door and left me
chained outside. He left me out there all night. It was thundering so hard and loud, and I remember
seeing him watching me through a window. He even waved once. I begged, pleaded, and screamed
 for him to let me back in. The storm was still raging, and it was still dark when he came back
down, and... and used me again with the half of me that he needed inside the open door, and the
other half still outside in the storm. He told me this is what happens to pets that misbehave. They
become outdoor pets. Theo... I... I stopped fighting after that. I stopped fighting so quickly it makes
me sick."

Theo had been through a lot in his 19 years. He had been skewered to a table at the age of 12, had a
heated rod left to his back for funsies, had so many of his bones broken that even the healing spells
and potions couldn't fix all the damage. Every summer, he had been starved until he became old
enough to get his own food. He had seen his best friend kill a girl that they all kind of liked. He had
been through so much that he was usually pretty numb to the terribleness around him, but this
story, this memory of Hermiones, makes him begin to cry for the first time in years.

And he finds he can't stop.

She starts crying too. Not her fear-filled cry, but a cry of grief. A cry to what she has to carry now
for the rest of her life. He squeezes her hand tightly, probably too tightly, but she doesn't tell him to
stop.

Neither of them says anything else. They both know words don't help when moments like these
happen. He also knows she doesn't need his words. She just needs to not be alone. She needs her
pain recognized by another person. She just needs to be heard and be cared for. Theo could do
that.

I can always listen. It's the one thing I can offer.

So he cries with her. Every once in a while, wiping the tears from her face, and when she curls her
head into his side, he lets her.

And at some point, the crying stops, the rain stops, and they both fall asleep.

Chapter End Notes

TW!!
Discussions and verbal depictions of physical and sexual abuse. A very graphic
description of rape towards the end. I have marked the area with ************ at the
beginning and end if you would prefer not to read that small section.
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

She feels a hand interlocked with her own as she wakes up. It grounds her. She knows it's Theo's.
Dolohov never held her hand.

She can smell Theo's now-familiar scent of tobacco and books all around her. She likes it. Not as
much as the mint, but it still makes her feel safe.

Moving her head, she looks up at the still sleeping Theo. His mouth is wide open, and his eyes are
puffy from all the crying he did last night.

He had cried with her.

She had noticed rather than humor, Theo didn't really show too many other emotions, even when
she shared what had happened to her with him or when tensions were running high. After what he
had been through for most of his life, she suspects that he was disturbingly used to abuse and scary
situations. But last night, he cried with her. It had been one of the most healing experiences she had
ever had.

He really should become a healer after this is all over. He was terrific at it in both the physical and
emotional way needed.

She lifts her hand that is not intertwined with his own and bops him gently on the nose. His
eyebrows pull together, and he takes in a deep breath as his eyes open. He looks confused for a
moment, searching her face as if slowly remembering the chaos last night, and then he gives her a
very Theo half-smile.

"I didn't think your hair could get any crazier; it seems like I was wrong."

She laughs and puts her head back down on the pillow they are sharing. She knows her hair is
everywhere. It was always a lot to try to tame, but in the morning, it was impossible. "You don't
look so good yourself there. Can't pull off that rolled out of bed look either, huh?"

She reaches up and tussles his massive wave of brown curls that formed together to crash against
his whole forehead throughout the night.

"What are you talking about? I'm an Adonis in the mornings! You're more of a Medusa."

They both laugh, and Theo unlocks their hands and starts to stretch.

"So, Draught of Peace for thunderstorms?"

She nods her head at him. "Yeah."

"And not being alone?"

"Yeah."

"And will that save me from ever having to see your naked arse again?"
She reaches up and slaps him on the shoulder. "I have a great arse, don't pretend otherwise."

Theo arches his back off the ground in a stretch and lets out a groan. "Mine's better."

"Oh yeah," without thinking, she sits up, quickly pushes him onto his side, facing away from her,
and reaches for the waistband of his pants. "Let me see!"

He lets out a surprised yelp and tries to fight her off, grabbing one of her hands and pulling her over
his side.

"Evil witch!"

Her body goes flying over him as she fights to free her arm. He doesn't let up. He reaches down for
her other hand, which still holds his pants, but she flings it out of his reach before he can grab it.
He lunges after it and across her body, finally catching her wrist, and slams it to the ground beside
her head. She lets out a small laughing yelp as she finds herself pinned.

"Surrender, Hermione!"

"Never, Theo!"

"Say truce Hermione or I'm going to... Oh shit!"

Hermione watches as Theo's face goes from playful to terrified in seconds. He is staring up over
her head. She looks at what had made him change so quickly and sees a glaring upside-down
Draco Malfoy.

She jerks up, and Theo rolls off of her, never taking his eyes off of Malfoy. "Mate, it's not what it
looks like, I swear."

As soon as Theo's weight is off her, she moves onto her feet and starts towards him.

He is okay. He is safe. Thank Merlin.

"Malfoy, your ba..."

"Granger, leave now."

He hasn't looked at her. He keeps staring at Theo with an anger that makes his already sharp facial
features even sharper. She notices how his knuckles are white, and his hands shake at his sides.

He is angry; no, he is furious.

"Malfoy, seriously, it was harmle..."

"Granger, leave."

She is standing between the two of them and looks from one to the other. As Theo begins to take a
step back, Malfoy moves forward.

Is he jealous? Is that what this is? It certainly looks that way, and if that is the case, she is about to
become just as furious as him.
She holds out one hand towards Malfoy and steps in his path.

"Malfoy, stop this now!"

"Granger, Theo, and I need to talk. I won't ask again. Leave now."

"No! You and I need to talk. Theo leave."

"With pleasure..."

"Nott, don't fucking move."

"Seriously, Draco, I know it's probably hard to believe with what you saw, and I'm sorry for that,
but nothing happened, I swear."

"Theo! Do not apologize to him. You have nothing to apologize for, and Malfoy, you have no right
to be acting like this!"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Granger. You're a fucking hypocrite, Nott, after what
you accused me of yest..."

"Draco, nothing happened! Well, I guess that is a lie because stuff did happen, but it was
innocent."

Draco scoffs. "Pardon me for not understanding how seeing her bare arse is innocent."

He is seething. His teeth are grinding together so loud that Hermione can hear them from where she
is standing.

"Theo, leave now. Malfoy, I'll explain everything, okay?"

He looks down at her for the first time, but instead of his anger subsiding, it seems to grow as his
eyes skim over her body. She takes in Theo's t-shirt hanging off her one bare shoulder, becoming
stretched in the altercation this morning, and his sweatpants ripped right above the knee from last
night.

Damn, yeah, this doesn't look good...

"Please, Malfoy, just let me explain, okay?"

He doesn't say anything, but he also doesn't lunge at Theo, so she takes that as a win.

"Theo..."

"Right yeah, already gone."

She hears him shut the door behind him.

Hermione takes a moment to look Malfoy over. No cuts or bruises; his robes have mud all over
them, but that isn't surprising to see after a stakeout.

"How did it go?"

He keeps staring at her. "Explain Granger."

She rolls her eyes and walks into the closet.

"Give me a second to change, and then I promise I will, although Malfoy, just to be clear, I am
furious at how you are acting right now." She leaves the door open slightly, so he can hear her rant
as she changes into one of the baggy sweaters and a pair of jeans. "And yes, while you are allowed
to be upset, you cannot act upon that emotion like you just did. You don't own me, Malfoy and..."

"Actually, I do."

She pauses at pulling on the sweater she has chosen and struggles to pull it down as she runs out of
the closet, swinging the door open out of anger.

"Excuse me?!"

"That's why you're here right now. Because I acquired you." He says with a smug expression on
his face.

She is left speechless, but not in the good way he had been doing before yesterday. How dare he?
How dare he say something so sexist, so archaic!

Her anger is so consuming that she doesn't think before she reaches back into the closet, grabs the
shoe sitting by the door, and throws it at him hard.

I'll knock that look off that face of yours!

It hits him in the side of his face as a surprising look goes across his features. He raises a hand too
late to block the flying sneaker.

"You, you... sexist, egotistical, narcissistic cockroach!"

She reaches down and grabs the matching sneaker and goes to throw it at his face again, hoping to
throw it so hard that it leaves the imprint of the sole on the side of his cheek.

Her arm goes back, but Malfoy moves too quickly. He grabs her arm and pushes her against the
wall next to the closet door. He pins her arm with the shoe in her hand next to her head. Malfoy
presses his body against her, pinning her other hand from trying anything.

"Drop it, Granger."

She thinks about spitting in his face that is inches from her own. She thinks about kneeing him in
the groin. She thinks about head-butting him. But she does none of those things. Instead, she stares
back at him with anger to match his own.

"Drop it now."

"Or what, Malfoy? Will you hex my teeth again? Call me a Mudblood?"

He physically flinches as she says the word, and she feels his grip on her lessen.

"Granger, just... explain... please."

Did he say please? She feels the stiff muscles of his body relax a bit against hers as he holds her
between himself and the wall.

"It started storming last night. I... I went back to who I was with him... he, he got mad at me once
and chained me outside during a storm, and last night I thought I was there again with him." The
grip on her hand lessens more at her words, and the look of anger starts to dissipate. "And I had an
episode similar to my one with you. And I... I soiled myself. Theo helped me get through it, and
then I didn't have any more of your shirts, so Theo gave me his, but my hands were shaking so, so
bad Malfoy and I..."

"That's enough, Granger. I don't need to hear anymore if you don't want to... I believe you both."

She feels his forehead fall onto hers, and she opens the eyes she didn't realize she had closed.

"You believe what exactly?"

"That he didn't take advantage of you."

Hermione pulls back a bit, appalled. "Theo would never take advantage of me. Why the hell would
you think that?"

He lets go of her hand and puts a few inches in between their bodies. He places both hands around
her head, caging her in, and she feels that fire in her belly flutter.

This should terrify you.

Instead, this is exciting you.

It shouldn't.

Why not?

Because you shouldn't enjoy things like this any more pet.

"I know he wouldn't assault you, Granger. But... here read this. I just want to be sure you are okay
with whatever happened between you two last night. That's all. If you're fine then... then I won't
say anything."

He pulls out a book from his robes and hands it to her. She reads the title, a book on sexual trauma.
Had they both read a book to try to be there for her better? Really? That's, well, that's unbelievable.
She feels tears for a good reason for once form in her eyes as she reads the back cover. They really
did care about her. They did. Not a lot of people would think to take this extra step. Hell, she hadn't
even thought about taking it for herself; to help her better understand what was going on in her
head.

"Malfoy, nothing happened between us last night. He is my friend, nothing more."

"You sure?"

She looks up at him from the book. "Positive. He reminds me of Harry, actually, of how our
relationship was. Like family."
He says nothing back to her.

She doesn't owe him this. The part of her that had thrown the shoe is furious for compromising just
now, but the part that flutters that believes he is brave acknowledges her act of giving as another
advancement for the two of them to bring down the divide. No, she doesn't owe him an
explanation, but she could give it if she wanted to. And she wanted to. Damn her, she did.

Why?

Why do you want it to be clear to Malfoy you are not into Theo?

Come on, witch, you know the answer to that...

"Potter has seen your bare arse?"

She laughs and watches his eyes open, looking into those grey pools. She misses the silver that
used to be there. She wants to see them as silver again.

"Oh, I'm sure he did. We lived in a tent together for months, remember? And I am sure he was as
mortified as Theo is."

Malfoy lets out a quick laugh then just stares at her. He really is intense. She really likes it.

"How did it go for you? I'm glad you're still alive, by the way."

His smile grows at the joke they have kept going. "It was a dead end. Just sat in the woods for 10
hours while Blaise and Pansy fucked, so it was a joy."

"What? They had sex during a mission? That seems very unprofessional."

Malfoy shrugs. "There was nothing else to do, and they had more privacy there than they do at the
base. I let them be as long as they put up a silencing charm."

He looks down at her, and she watches as his eyes run over her outfit.

"You have my permission to use any of my clothes. They are in the closet in my room. Anytime
you want, you are welcome to them."

He really hated seeing you in Theo's clothes...

"Okay, thank you, Malfoy."

He takes a step back from her and nods his head. "I'm going to grab a shower. We will do our next
lesson when I am done."

"No, Malfoy, you need to sleep first. We can do it after, no rush."

He slips off his robes, and Hermione watches as he begins to unbutton his shirt, walking to the
bathroom.

You're groveling again, Granger...

I don't care, Hermione...

Her thoughts are cut short at a mark she notices on his upper collarbone.

"Wait, what's that?" She walks towards him as he turns, looking perplexed as she points to his
chest.

"What's what?"

She is standing close enough to touch him and inspects the mark more.

Oh, my gods, is that a...

"Is that a love bite?"

His eyes widen at her before looking down at the small bruise on his exposed skin. He quickly
waves his wand, casts a spell to hide it, and walks back to the loo like nothing just happened.

Why the fuck does he have a love bite on him?

Who gave it to him?

Why... Why am I furious right now?

She turns and follows him into the lavatory, opening up the door without knocking, and sees him
leaning against the vanity.

"Why the hell do you have that mark on your collarbone? And why are you hiding it?"

She is angry. She is fuming. She wants to throw another shoe.

"Leave Granger."

She slams the lavatory door behind her and stomps her foot on the tiled floor. She was getting sick
of him saying that to her.

"Stop telling me to leave! And tell me why you have that mark on you this instant!"

She emphasizes her last words by stomping again. She realizes she probably looks ridiculous from
Draco's eyes. She knows her hair is sticking up all over the place around her head, her sweater and
pants don't match, and she is small, throwing her own temper tantrum in front of him.
He watches her and crosses his arms in front of his exposed chest. "It's better that you don't know.
Just trust me."

"Malfoy, you tell me right now, damn it! I am so tired of being left in the dark."

He lets out a sigh and looks down at the floor. "Just like you told me earlier, I don't owe you an
explanation, Granger."

Damn it, he's right.

"No, you don't, but I am asking anyway. I gave you one. It's your turn to give."

He looks down at his hands and presses his tongue into the side of his cheek.

"You're right."

Her body jerks at the words, not expecting him to give in as quickly as he just did. She walks to
lean against the vanity next to him, watching him as he continues to stare down.

"It's part of the arrangement to keep you here."

She purses her eyebrows together as she processes that information. Draco has a love bite on his
neck due to an agreement with someone to keep her?

"I don't understand."

"Well, there's a first."

She watches as he runs his hands through his hair and sighs.

"Alecto Carrow and I came to an agreement that if she could help me acquire you, then..."

He pauses, glances over at her, and then back down to his hands. He's acting like he wants her to
finish the thought for him, but she is lost.

"Then what, Malfoy?"

"Merlin's tits, you're going to make me say it aren't you, Granger?"

"Say what? I'm lost I..."

"Fuck! If she helped me get you, then I would fuck her. Twice a month until my father places me
in an arranged marriage."

Her mind goes blank as she feels her eyes widen.

He...

He agreed to...

For me...
No.

"No."

"Too late, Granger."

She looks back down at where the mark was hidden. He had done it. That is what he left to do the
other day. He had already had sex with her. He had already let that witch use him. She was... she
was older than her parents, and she had... and he had...

She feels the tears coming down her cheeks.

"She's raping you! She raped you, Malfoy! No, you can't do this. I can't live with myself. I can't... I
can't breathe... I."

She feels like her lungs are caving in, and her vision starts to go black. The fire inside her begins to
burn. She wants to jump out of her own body at the feeling.

He can't do this. She can't let him. She knows how painful it is to lose your autonomy at the hand
of another.

You never feel like your body is yours.-They took it.-You try to rub your skin off in the shower.-
Wherever their hands, lips, and skin have been.-You want to tear it off.-You wish you could get a
new body because yours doesn't feel safe anymore.-You have to cover all the mirrors. After all,
looking at yourself makes you want to throw up.-You don't see you anymore or who you used to
be.-You see them.-Him.-You see what he did to you.-You see you are broken.-You see and feel all
the memories pieced together all over your skin.-It isn't your skin.-It's his.-He owns it.-He marked
it.-And it will always be there now.-It never goes away.

"Granger, come back. Granger, please just relax."

She feels his cold hands on her upper arms. Her body begins to shake at the shock of how cold they
are to how hot her body is.

"Theo! I need Draught of Peace!"

It feels like a second later when a bottle presses to her lips.

"Swallow."

She does.

It takes a couple of moments before she feels the potion kick in, and she feels the fire dull, and her
mind becomes more apparent. She is still crying. He can't do this. He can't.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you would feel responsible."

"Because I am responsible, damn it! She wouldn't be raping you if it wasn't for me!"

"Whoa, what? Draco, what is she talking about?"

At some point, she had fallen to the floor. She raises herself to a sitting position and looks to Theo,
who is staring at Malfoy next to her.
"He made an agreement with Alecto Carrow for sex in exchange for helping him get me."

Theo's mouth drops open at her statement.

"Mate, tell me that isn't true."

Malfoy says nothing as he closes his eyes and leans back against the bottom of the vanity.
Hermione realizes she is sobbing loudly, even with the potion in her. She can't stop the noises,
though.

"Draco! Shit, fuck, are you kidding me? You made an agreement with that psycho bitch? Please
tell me she didn't have you make an Unbreakable Vow."

Hermione is going to throw up. She feels the bile swiftly coming up her throat and runs over to the
toilet and wretches into it.

A cool hand caresses her neck before pulling back her hair and holding it out of the way. She
continues to sob between the gagging.

"I didn't."

"Well, at least we have that to be bloody thankful for."

A hand holds a towel next to her head, and she takes it, wiping her mouth with it before sitting
back. Malfoy lets go of her hair but keeps his hand around the back of her neck, gently massaging
it.

"Malfoy, please... please don't do this. Don't give your body to her, please..."

"I have never owned my body Granger, especially since I took the mark."

She shakes her head. "This, this is different from that."

"No, it isn't." His comment about giving something he had never owned in the first place was
starting to make more sense to her. "I am willing to give this Granger. Don't ask me not to."

"You would even if I asked, right?"

"Right."

She shakes her head and places it between her hands as she continues to cry.

"How many times?" She hears Theo ask from above them.

"Twice a month until I am placed in an arranged marriage."

"Fuck Draco, that's a shitty deal."

"She wanted once a week."

"And you've already..."

"Yes."

"Shit..."

Her sobbing becomes louder, and she feels her body start to shake again. She must have thrown up
too much of the potion. Before she can ask, Malfoy places another bottle in front of her face. She
opens her mouth, and he pours it in. She notices he takes one himself.

"I shouldn't have told you."

She jerks her head up and glares at him. "Yes, you should have. Because now that we know we can
help you get out of it."

"Not happening, Granger."

"Try and stop me, Malfoy."

He glances up at her for the first time. He looks just like the shadow of the boy back in year 6. He
had made himself alone in another horrible choice he had to make. And she had already told
herself she would not let that happen again. If he kept doing this, there would be nothing left of the
man who made her feel on fire.

She reaches forward with both hands and cups his face, raising his eyes to hers and staring back at
him.

"I'm getting you out of this Malfoy, you hear me? On my life, I promise she will never touch you
again."

No one has the right to touch him. She doesn't want anyone else touching him.

Anyone else?

Yes.

"I'm with Hermione on this one. When is the next time?"

"Tomorrow night. She let me know at the liaison base a couple of hours ago."

They have approximately 34 hours to come up with something. She needs to get started now. She
stands up and walks out of the lavatory towards the library with a determination she hasn't felt for a
long time.

"Granger, what are you doing?"

"You don't always make the best decisions when backed into a corner, Malfoy. I'm getting you out
of that corner. Follow me."

She walks straight to the library, pulls the two tables together, and begins to clear them of the
books Theo had been reading.

"Malfoy, I need you to tell me everything about this agreement. Theo, get us any book you can find
dealing with memory spells."

Theo gives her a perplexed look but starts to walk down one of the aisles nonetheless.

"Memories, why memories?"

She turns back to Malfoy, who sits down next to her. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes Theo had
given her and places one in her mouth. Malfoy looks at her with astonishment as she motions for
him to light it.

"You smoke now?"

"You two drove me to it."

He gives her a smirk before he lights her cigarette, and she passes the package over to him.

"We are going to find a way for Malfoy to implant a false memory."

"False memory charms leave traces, though, Hermione. If someone used legilimency on Alecto,
they might be able to spot it."

She places the cigarette between her two fingers and blows the addictive smoke through her lips.
Malfoy is watching her intensely. She knows she holds the cigarette wrong but would never be
fixing it because she liked how riled up it made Theo.

"I am guessing she is an occlumens correct?"

Malfoy continues to stare at her like he sees something he has never seen before. She watches as he
nods his head slightly.

"And I'm also guessing that this rape arrangement is a secret, right?"

Malfoy rolls his eyes and leans back in the chair as he places a cigarette in between his lips.

"She isn't raping me, Granger. I agreed to it."

No, Malfoy, no...

"Do you want to have sex with her?"

His hand freezes in mid-air on its way to light his cigarette. He looks back at her with a sneer on
his face that continues to grow.

"Fuck no!"

"But you are because she is making you correct?"

"Well, yes but..."

"That's rape, Malfoy. Do not try to water down what she is doing to you. Dolohov gave me a lot of
rewards in exchange for sex. And I agreed to it. I didn't fight it after a couple of weeks. I submitted
to his wants. Does that make it not rape?"

His eyes widen at her words. "Of course, that's rape!"

"Then so is what is happening to you."

She places her hand on his leg and watches the information sink in. He didn't see it as rape. He saw
it as an exchange of goods. It was obvious. He didn't see his body as truly being his, so using it to
get something wouldn't be rape to him. It wasn't personal. She didn't know her heart could break
more for the man before her.

He had given up that for her. He had endured that for her. And... she realizes that this had to be
more than penance for past crimes.

He closes his eyes as he lights his cigarette and inhales deeply, holding it for a few seconds and
then releasing it. "You're right."

She feels another tear escape and watches as he squeezes his eyes together. Hermione takes the few
steps between them and wraps her arms around his shoulders. Malfoy's arms shoot forward and
lock around her at the contact, pulling her down into his lap.

She noticed that Theo and Malfoy were opposites in this way. When they had challenging
moments or were feeling the weight of everything they all had been through, Theo seemed to
respond well with proximity and conversation. While Malfoy needed to be touched, he required
physical contact. It was like he craved it. When he held her, it wasn't just a hug. It was a life-
clinging embrace. It felt like he believed he would lose her and himself in the process if he let go.

She feels his arms shaking lightly around her as he buries his face in her neck as he had done
before. She lowers her head to his ear.

"I am so sorry, Malfoy. I am so so sorry."

"Don't let go." It is barely a whisper. She feels it on her skin more than she hears it, squeezing him
tighter in response.

She knows she doesn't have much time to solve this issue, but she can't convince herself to let go of
him, not to touch him, to anchor him to this moment.

"Sorry, but time is of the essence, you two, so while you cuddle and thank you Draco for fulfilling
that role, I am guessing you think that since she is an occlumens and this is a secret, she will hide
the memories of them having sex. So if he tampers with them, no one will be the wiser, am I
right?"

She keeps her arms around Malfoy and stays curled up in his lap as she looks up at Theo and nods
her head. He sets down three books on the table and looks over each cover.

"That's fucking brilliant. These books should teach us how to do it. There aren't too many left due
to the ministry not wanting wizards to learn because it is a form of dark magic. Just to warn you
and your morality."

He sits down in the chair across the table and opens up the most prominent book to the table of
contents.

"I don't care what kind of magic it is; we are doing it."

Theo gives her a half-smile. "Evil witch. Luckily I don't have to ask you, Draco."

He doesn't respond. His breathing has steadied as she feels each breath on the skin of her neck.
Even his breath was cold, making her skin goosebumps and small dots of perspiration form where
her hot skin and his cold breath meet.

She keeps one arm wrapped tightly around him, reaches for one of the books, and flips it open to
the first page. It wasn't the most comfortable reading position, but there was no way she would let
go of him anytime soon.

She and Theo continue to research in silence, getting lost in the quiet only disrupted by the sound
of turning pages and the scribble of their quills.

Hermione is in the middle of a chapter describing the charm casters needing concentration and
mental picture that they were trying to transfer when she feels a tap on the top of her hand.

She looks across the table and sees Theo hold up a piece of paper:

He's asleep.

She tries to turn her head slowly but stops as she feels his arms twitch around her. They weren't
holding her tightly anymore. At some point in her research, he must have lowered his forearms to
rest comfortably on top of her legs, interlocking his fingers to keep his arms around her. She now
notices that his breathing is shallow and controlled against her neck.

Theo was right. He was asleep. He must have been exhausted after the mission last night. Then
there was the whole her throwing and hitting him with a shoe fiasco, and then this. That is a lot for
anyone. He needs his rest.

She looks back up at Theo, gives him a slight smile, and nods her head. He begins to write
something on another sheet of paper and then holds it up:

He needs you.

Before she thinks about what she is doing, she pulls out a sheet of paper and writes, then holds it
out to him:

I need him.

It was true. She did need him. She knows that really wasn't a healthy dynamic for any type of
relationship, but how could you have healthy relationships in the middle of a world in war? They
were stripped of that option.

Their entire existence had been used, lied to, abused, and given to this time in history that was
nothing but darkness. That had hurt them all in so many different and life-changing ways. That had
made them into unhealthy versions of themselves that they didn't want to be but now had to. All to
survive. They did what they needed to survive.

All of them had been living like there was possibly no tomorrow for so long that thinking beyond
the current moment, the present pain, the current numbness, the present breath felt too hopeful.
Because it had been proven to them time and time again, it was too optimistic. This war didn't care
about their age, or their wants, or desires. Any day could be their last.

So damn it if they didn't take a moment to indulge. Smoking a cigarette, having sex in a field,
using humor as an escape mechanism, downing potion after potion, they should do it.

Think about the effects when living long enough to have effects becomes a reality, when a future is
actually an option more viable than death.

She had always held herself to a high standard of morality in her childhood. They had been right in
school. She always had a stick up her arse, believing that her high and mighty, goodie two shoes
attitude would ensure good things would come her way. That bad things happened to bad people.
 Bad things didn't happen to good people. Damn, had she been proven wrong. So what was it all
for?

She was tired of trying to do the right thing all the time, always thinking logically, always having
the correct answer. Where had that gotten her?

She was so tired of her mind and her instincts not coinciding. To be honest, they never had. She
had always been the one to push the boundaries. For being such a stickler for the rules, she had
broken more in her 19 years than Harry or Ron. She could be placed in Azkaban if all she was
guilty of came to light someday.

She always had the darker thoughts and ideas that left the two boys staring at her in disbelief.
During those months in the tent, Ron had told her many times how he wasn't happy with how the
war affected her character. His words had hurt then. She remembers running out of the tent and
crying behind a tree for hours, feeling guilty and ashamed.

But now, looking back, she knew there was nothing to feel guilty for. Her ideas and thoughts were
realistic. They were not bad or good. They were answers. They were solutions. And this world they
lived in hardly ever gave them the options for transparent black and white responses.

Every decision costs them something, some piece of who they thought they would be, some piece
of their innocence.

She had told herself days ago she needed to start being honest with herself. Now, as she looks up
and agrees without blinking to venture into the world of dark magic to save the boy who once
called her a Mudblood, Hermione knows she finally accepts her loss of innocence and moves
forward as someone different, but someone she needs to be.

Someone he needed her to be. Someone who wanted to survive this. Someone who may even have
a chance.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Discussions of rape

 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He has 5 hours, 43 minutes, and 39 seconds.

38 seconds…

37…

36…

He has always been obsessed with numbers.

It had started out as a measure to place himself above others. Yeah, the Greengrass Manor had 16
kneazles, but he had 45 peacocks. Blaise was now up to 6 dads, while he had 1 amazing father who
stuck around. Sure Theo's vaults held 3,412 precious stones, but his family vault outnumbered the
Nott's wealth by double. To the point that doing the math and coming up with the exact numbers
was impossible for even him.

In school, he expanded his obsession with numbers to immerse in one of his other growing
obsessions.

Granger had 62 freckles on her right hand. The one he saw the most as it was constantly raised up
high in class. Waving about, trying to get the professor's attention. It always received his instead.

She whimpered 2 times before giving up on a professor responding before lowering it.

He swore she only had 3 pairs of shoes to her name.

She hit or slapped the Weasel 117 times during their years at Hogwarts in the dining hall.

She had kissed the wanker at least 1 time.

She used the same 4 mugs for her tea and placed 2 dollops worth of honey and 3 spoonfuls of milk.

She spent between 37 seconds and 59 seconds reading 1 page of a book. It depended on the size of
the book.

She had received 51 leering looks at the Yule Ball in that periwinkle dress of hers.

The Weasley made her cry 26 times (more than him, by the way).

She had rolled her eyes at him 387 times at school.

She had screamed for 22 minutes and 17 seconds before passing out on his drawing room floor
when being tortured by his aunt.

He had occluded 2,889 memories of her behind walls, even Snape could not access by the end.

Now, he found himself obsessing over numbers for a wholly different reason. Survival.

Theo had picked up on the obsession too, finding that it helped him deal with the constant state of
survival he had been in until a few years ago. So he knows his best friend is counting the seconds
as well, just like he knows Granger will be done reading the page she is on in 3...2...1…

"Okay, I think we have it. All three books agree on most of what the incantation is. It is more a
question of annunciation and the exact wand movements needed."

She looks up, and Draco sees the 3 creases in her forehead, and her 4 upper teeth pull in her bottom
lip. And he feels 6 heartbeats travel south in response. In high-stress situations like the one he was
in now, he found that his obsessions always grew.

"Have you created an image to transfer?"

He nods his head at her as she closes the book and gets out of the chair she is sitting in across from
him. Theo takes her place, and she hands him the piece of paper with the varied forms of the spell
he is to try.

"Just go down in the order you see them. Keep the image the same each time too, so we will know
when it has worked on me."

He nods his head again, finding that it had been hard to talk to either of them since yesterday.

He feels hands that are becoming so familiar start to rub his shoulders.

Please… please keep touching me.

"You can do this, Malfoy. I know you can."

He looks down at the paper and memorizes the first spell on the list.

With his wand, he knocks Theo out. His head lobs to the side of the chair, and his hands fall to
hang at his sides.

Draco closes his eyes and keeps the image he is to plant as a memory in the forefront of his mind,
closing off everything else. He says the spell and maneuvers his wand as it is listed as he enters
Theos mind, but nothing happens. He knows he should be feeling the memory sliding from him
into Theo's mind. But there is nothing that suggests it is happening.

He pulls out of his mind and opens his eyes.

"Nothing."

"All the books agree that you feel when it happens, so it must not be the right incantation or wand
movement, try the next one."

"Should I wake him up and check?"

"No, I don't think that's necessary, I believe you will know when you have done it successfully, and
with the time restraint, I think it is best to try them all as quickly as we can."

She keeps her voice steady, but he knows she is beginning to panic. Her reaction to what he had
done for her was more than even he was prepared for. And when she made him realize that yes, it
had been rape… even the Draught of Peace could not stop him from having to occlude so deep that
he had fallen asleep with a Granger wrapped around him.

He looks over to the sheet and memorizes the next option. He closes his eyes once again, goes
through the same process, and receives the same outcome.

"Nothing."

"Try the next one."

14 minutes later.

"Nothing."

"Try the next one."

13 minutes later.

"Nothing."

"Try the next one."

16 minutes later.

"Nothing."

"Try the next one."

This time he hears her voice break. They only have two options left, and they are down to 3 hours,
49 minutes, and 12 seconds.

He looks down at the sheet. He had seen the brilliant witch behind him pull Potter and Weasley
Wart out of situation after situation. Part of him had hoped that would cross over to him. But what
in his history would make him believe that?

He cracks his neck and closes his eyes, entering into Theo's mind once more. He has a bouncy
mind. Draco doesn't understand how a mind can feel bouncy, but Theo's does.

He pulls the image into his mind again and raises his wand, reciting the spell as he maneuvers it in
front of his face. As soon as the last syllable leaves his mouth, he feels it.

He feels, sees, and tastes the memory traveling from him into the area in front of him in Theo's
mind.

My fucking witch…

He opens his eyes and feels a smile already on his face.

"Well?"

Without answering her, he waves his wand to wake up Theo. His friend jolts upwards out of the
seat.

"You piece of shit!" He is yelling as he launches himself out of the library and runs down the
hallway.

Draco lets out a little chuckle and stands up as he hears Theo slamming the bedroom door open.

"Did it work?"

He looks behind him at Granger, who looks at him incredulously. Transferring her weight from
one foot to another in the anxious way she tended to do. He reaches out, places her hand in his, and
drags her out of the room after the rampaging Theo.

He meets them in the hallway with his first edition copy of Hogwarts: a History cradled close to his
chest. A huge smile takes over his face as his eyes meet Draco's.

"You did it, you bastard! I can see you dog-earring the pages as clearly as if it just happened.
Draco, you did it!"

Small arms wrap around his neck, and wild milk chocolate is all he can see as her weight pushes
him off balance and onto the floor.

"Oh, thank Merlin, thank… never again… she won't… no one… no one touches you… no."

Her voice continues to break as she clings onto him and starts to let out tears of happiness.

She is amazing. Within 48 fucking hours, she had saved him from a hell he never imagined himself
enduring. He knew he was infatuated with her for a reason. He knew something of value when he
saw it. And she, she was priceless. She was the only thing truly priceless to him.

He would pay any price for her. And he would have kept paying this one, but even he knew she
had been right when she had said that this was a different kind of violation. It was intimate, and
personal, and became a part of you in a different kind of haunting way. Not only had he been
abused, he had also been used.

But not anymore. Never again. And all because of her.

It is always all because of you.

He pulls her body off of him to see her face wet with tears and her cheeks a rosy red as she sobs
and smiles at the same time.

"You did it." She says as she rests her hand on his chest. She looks up and meets his eyes for the
first time, and he feels his mouth open at the sight he sees.

"Granger, your gold's back."

She doesn't look at him confused, to his astonishment. Like she understands what he means by that.
Like she knows the specks of gold that always make her eyes shine and stand out from the others
are back. Not as noticeable as they had been before, but it was back. Her gold is back.

"So is your silver."

He doesn't really process what she says to him as he watches the gold specks shine, move, and
disappear, then glimmer in new places.
"Gold is worth more than silver."

Do you know what you do to me, Granger?

Do you know what that gold means to me?

I have to keep it. I have to keep it there.

No one will ever take your gold again.

He reaches out, needing to touch her more, needing to believe that this was really happening. He
cups her face in his hands and pulls her closer, resting his forehead on hers.

"You… You are priceless."

He wants to kiss her. He has wanted to kiss her thousands of times, but never as much as he wants
to right now. He finds himself staring at her lips instead of her eyes.

Don't do it, Malfoy.

No one should take anything from her again.

"Any chance you can obliviate this damn memory out of my mind? Because I seriously don't think
I can live the rest of my life seeing you violate one of my most treasured possessions."

Granger looks up at Theo, taking her head out of his hands and her touch out of his grasp. "So
you're positive it worked?"

Theo shrugs, still holding his book into his chest like he is afraid the memory will become real if
he sets it down.

"Yeah, I'm sure. As soon as I came to, I saw Draco walk out of the room, come back with my book
and dog-ear 5 fucking pages. Then he left and put it on the fireplace mantle again and then sat back
down across from me. It… It was so real. Like seriously, I am still having trouble being convinced
it didn't happen." He slowly rubs the book's cover back and forth as he talks. "Draco, you fucking
did it! And with 3 hours and 27 minutes to spare!"

He stands up from the floor and can't help the smile that forms on his face. Granger is staring at
him in a way he doesn't understand.

"Granger, you okay?"

Instead of answering him, she blinks and shakes her head lightly.

"Hermione?"

She starts walking past both of them and back to the library.
"Malfoy, you should spend the next couple hours in silence, building the image you need to
implant, making it as realistic and detail-oriented as possible. I need to spend some time preparing
for our next lesson. I'll be in the library if anyone needs me." She is about to walk into the game
room and out of sight when she quickly throws over her shoulder, "you should be proud of
yourself, Malfoy. I know I am," then turns the corner.

What the hell?

"What the hell?"

Theo's voice is an echo of his own thoughts. Did she just switch? Her voice didn't sound like it,
and her face wasn't filled with fear like it usually gets. She had been ecstatic along with them both,
hadn't she? Did he misread her tears for joy? Did he do something that went too far and made her
uncomfortable?

"Did I do something?"

"Honestly mate, even I can't come up with anything you did. Maybe something sparked a memory
for her, and she just needs some time."

That was a reasonable thought, but his gut told him it didn't make sense. How she had just acted
wasn't like her. Something was wrong. He turns and heads towards the library, but a hand grabs his
shoulder.

"Draco, just give her some space. The last two days have been a lot for all of us, and you still have
more to face here soon. So how about you listen to that smart evil witch and create the image you
need to get your arse back here without having to fuck an old lady, okay?"

Everything in him wants to go to her, just wants to be near her, see her, and count how many
breaths she takes in a minute as she clears her mind.

"Okay."

He decides to listen to Granger. She had just saved his arse. Draco goes into her room to lay on the
bed and prepare the image he needs. He hates to think it, but it was helpful that he had an
experience with the Carrow Cunt to build a realistic image off of.

That first and now, hopefully only time, was one of the worst moments of his life. Up there with
his mother dying, and Granger being tortured on his floor, and turning towards him... He cuts off
those thoughts and builds his walls again.

He starts to create the setting, picturing the bed and the room in the bland way a guest room was
usually furnished. The room she had taken him to the first time.

He had forced himself to take a Draught of Peace and another potion to help him… perform (one
he never needed to take before, by the way) before entering the room. She was already waiting for
him, lying on the bed in some very complex group of strings and fabric struggling to hold her
mounds and flaps of skin in place. One look, and he knew he should have brought a double dose of
the performance enhancer potion.

"Take off your trousers."

"Nice to see you too, Carrow."

She rolled her eyes at him, and he felt the urge to slap the cunt across the face. She sat up, leaning
on her hands, and smiled at him wickedly.

"You are mine to do what I want with for… 1 hour and 58 minutes. So listen to what you are told
to do, little Malfoy, and take off your clothes now."

He felt his anger and defiance stirring inside him. The way she was talking to him… commanding
him… it went against everything in his nature to be submissive. He wanted to dominate her and not
in the way women tended to enjoy in his experience, but in the way that left her not breathing.
Dolohov, the Dark Lord, and… maybe the Weasley were the only people he wanted to kill more
than the she-devil in front of him.

But he had to do it. She had done her part of the deal. As soon as Granger had fallen asleep that
first night, he went back to the liaison office and made the deal with Carrow. She was more than
happy to oblige. Ensuring that he would pay for his little performance with her earlier that day.

He started unbuttoning his shirt, staring at the edge of the bed.

"So, this is how this will go; I don't want you to enjoy this."

Thank fucking Merlin for that…

At least I don't have to pretend.

"I want you to hate this. I want you to fuck me and kiss every inch of me, not because you want to,
but because I told you to. I want to see and feel how much you hate it."

He should have taken a potion to stop him from throwing up. He pulled his shirt off his arms and
let it fall to the floor. He would burn it as soon as he got back to Theo's anyways, and started to
undo the front of his pants, trying to take as much time as he could because as soon as his internal
clock hit 0:00 on his 2 hours with her, he would be stopping whatever was happening and bolting
out.

"But you will do everything I want you to do. You will not talk unless I ask you to talk. You will
not hesitate. You will not fight. Do you understand?"

You have no idea how dangerous I am, and how dangerous I have just become for you…

He nodded his head as he stepped out of his trousers and started to pull down his briefs.

"Stop."

He did.

"Turn around."
I am going to kill you, Carrow.

He turned.

"Come here."

I am going to make sure it is slow too. I will savor it.

He walked over to the side of the bed and stood. Her eyes devoured him in a predatory gaze.

"So young…"

"Almost a minor."

He felt her hand slap him before he saw it.

"Did I say you were allowed to speak? Don't fight me, little Malfoy. I can take that mudblood cunt
away from you at any time."

Maybe I will use a string of cruciatus curses on you to start.

He felt her long fingernails and cold wrinkly skin touch his stomach.

"Undress me with your teeth."

I will tie you to a chair and leave you in a room with no light. Feeding you only when it is
necessary to keep you breathing.

"Kiss my breasts. Yes… bite them… Good… Good little Malfoy…"

I will pull out these long fingernails that are digging into my back and watch you scream with a
smile on my face.

"Between my legs. Oh, oh yes… You're not allowed to come up... until I say so."
I am going to leave you in water up to your neck, cold water for days, turning all this flabby
disgusting fucking flesh purple.

"Take off your briefs and lay down on your back."

I will spend all my time creating spells to torture you with, to make you scream for me to finally kill
you.

"Tell… me… what… you… are… thinking?"

"I am going to kill you."

"Roll us over, give me your best little Malfoy, please me."

Make her happy… Dolohov and her should really get together.

"Harder… yes... Don't stop…"

I will not Avada you, I will do it with tools, or maybe I will just watch you slowly starve to death?
Yes, that would be enjoyable to watch progress. And maybe even after you are dead, I will let your
body decompose for years, never moving it, just having a front-row seat to nature's process with
your body.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

He pulled out of her and accio'd his clothes and robe, shrugging them on as quickly as possible and
starting for the door.

"You are fun to use. I'll call upon you when I want you again."

He threw his robes over his arms and slammed the door behind him. He ran down the stairs and
down another corridor in the Greengrass mansion until he reached a lavatory and locked the door
behind him.

He pulled out the Draught of Peace and swallowed the contents as his hands began to shake.

He had done many terrible things to keep those he cared about safe, but never something that had
affected him like this. Call him a selfish bastard, but even Lovegood had been easier than this.

He looked down and saw the couple marks the Carrow Cunt had left on him through his still-open
shirt. He waved his wand and cast a disillusionment charm that would hold for a couple of hours to
hide them from sight.
And now he had to go back to Theo and… her and act like everything was normal. Like he wasn't
falling apart. Like he hadn't felt himself splitting on the inside, a forever fracture forming. A
similar feeling to letting Dark Magic into your body.

He leans his head against the wall behind him feeling defeated in a way he hadn't in a long time.

There isn't much left of me to use to keep her safe…

There isn't much left I can offer.

What do I do then?

He cracked his neck as the potion kicked in and started gathering the memories from the last two
hours, shoving them so far back into his mind and building wall after wall around them that when
he opened his eyes again, he felt nothing but numbness.

"Malfoy?"

He opens his eyes and sees the familiar stain on the ceiling of Theo's room and then the gold that
made its appearance again only a few hours ago.

"It's time."

She is already crying. He sits up, and notices she is sitting on her knees on the bed next to him.

"You're… you're on a bed."

She blinks and looks around like it just dawned on her where she was currently sitting. He moves
forward and wipes the tear traveling down her cheek.

"Why are you crying?"

She closes her eyes and moves her face into the palm of his hand. "I just… I am so sorry, Malfoy. I
am so so so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Granger. It was my choice."

"Yes, but you did it for me. You… you were raped because of me."

"No, I was raped because of her."

She opens her eyes and stares at him. He knows what she is thinking. He knows she believes this is
all her fault. They really were a lot more alike than even he imagined.

"You're… you're right. I just... My heart is breaking for you. And… and I don't understand why
you would have done that for… for me."

She doesn't really phrase it as a question, but he still hears it. He doesn't blame her for being
confused. She didn't know a lot of the things he had done over the years to try to keep her away
from this fucking war she kept running or being pushed towards. She had no idea how much he
had to hide, and do, and give to keep her safe from himself and the evils he had been surrounded by
for years.
But at the same time, he knows his witch. He also knows he hasn't been subtle since Theo found
her.

He tried to be. Honestly, he tried. But he couldn't help himself from clinging on to the freedom he
had in the current situation, and he knew she had been noticing and responding in kind with the
freedom. But her affection could be her trauma talking. He had learned a lot from the book Theo
had given him.

"Ask that question when you are ready to hear the answer, Granger."

Her eyes dart back and forth between his before dropping to the mattress between them and
nodding.

He gives her a slight nod back and rises off of the bed.

"Are you ready?"

Theo walks in, holding his robes out towards him. He grabs them and starts pulling them on.

"Yes."

"You have the image you need to plant?"

He nods his head and starts buttoning up the front of his robes. When he is about halfway, her
warm, delicate little hands push him aside and begin where his hands had been.

"I don't like this."

"I've got this, Granger. You've already done the hard part of saving me. Let me finish it."

She pushes the last button on his robes close to his neck, moves her hands to rest on either side of
it, and meets his eyes. "It's about time I return the favor, Malfoy."

She leans forward before he can react and places her soft and equally warm lips onto his cheek.

"Come back. Stay alive, Malfoy, on the outside and the inside."

He finds himself still resting a hand on the slightly warmer spot than the rest of his skin as he
opens the door to Carrow's room.

…………………

As soon as he exits the floo, he is met first with loud noises and a bang from somewhere down the
hallway, and then a crazed-looking Granger leaning against the bed staring at him.

"Did it work? Please… Please tell me it worked."

She is running to him as she speaks, looking his body up and down and reaching out with her hands
to remove his robes and inspect his skin. He feels her hands shaking against his neck as she looks
for more marks.

"Aren't you glad I'm still alive?"

She acts like she doesn't hear him, eyes darting across his skin and tugging at the collar of his shirt.
"It worked. You fucking saved the day again, Granger."

He feels a genuine smile appear on his face as he watches her shoulders relax and her hands change
from frantic movements to gentle caresses.

Don't stop touching me…

Never, never stop touching me.

"You promise me, Malfoy? You promise me you are not lying to me right now?"

He doesn't blame her for thinking that. It would be something he would do, because, well, he had
done it in the past.

"Come here."

He opens his arms, and he notices she doesn't hesitate to press herself against his chest as he wraps
his arms around her.

She nuzzles her face into his chest and takes in a deep breath as he moves his head to the side of
her face.

"Let me show you."

He feels her body jerk, but before she can respond, he reaches out with his mind, bringing his
memory of the last 2 hours with him into her mind.

Once again, she was ready and waiting for him in the bed with another spider weblike contraption
tied around her flesh. He saw the outfit and inserted that small piece into the false memory he had
built. She instructs him to undress like last time, and for once, luck had been on his side as she had
turned her back to him voluntarily, getting into a position. He knocked her out within 4 minutes of
entering the room before any part of her touched any part of him, or vice versa.

He sat contemplating all the things he planned on doing to the Carrow Cunt for about half the time
and then snooped around the room, looking for any helpful information he could gain. He had
found none. When there was only 4 minutes left before his two hours were up, he closed his eyes
and slapped around her body, trying to take the strings off. Once she was naked, he stripped and
placed her facing downwards, lying on top of her.

He said the spell and waved his wand, slipping into her mind with the false memory and leaving it
behind.

3… 2… 1…

He jumped off of her and started to leave the room like last time.

"That is it for this month."

"I can do basic math, little Malfoy. Thanks for another delightful fuck. I will call upon you when I
want you again."

He pulls out of her mind as he shuts the door.

He feels the front of his shirt soaked with her tears as she sobs into him.

Fuck Draco, what the hell?

You just showed a girl who has recently been assaulted an almost assault.

That's not triggering or anything.

You're such a fucking arsehole.

Fix this.

He squeezes her tighter and buries his face into her neck.

"Fuck Granger, I shouldn't have done that. It was… it was so insensitive. I just… I wanted you to
know for certain, and I thought… well, I didn't fucking think that's the…"

"Malfoy, I'm okay. It's okay. That… that didn't trigger anything it just… when I get really mad,
like really really mad sometimes I cry."

She pulls her face away from his chest, and he can see the fury in her golden eyes. They look on
fire.

"That fucking bitch, and how she talked to you, and how she wanted to touch you… I want to kill
her. She and Dolohov."

He finds his smile growing at hearing the language she is using, along with the anger spilling out
of her. And it is all for him. She is getting angry for him instead of at him. He thought her aiming
that fire on him was hot, but watching her now, hearing her swear, and state her wrath, and promise
to murder, and getting angry at someone else for him; he feels his dick twitch and grow as her
golden eyes continue to shoot daggers into his and her hands form into fists with his shirt rapped
tightly within them.

My witch, she is dangerous.

More dangerous than even me.

What a team we would be…

A dangerous one.

His thoughts are interrupted by another loud bang followed by an unmistakable frustrated Theo
shouting profanity after profanity.

"What the…"

"You apparently forgot to tell us more than just this deal with Carrow."
He looks down at her quizzically. Truly having no idea what she is talking about. He had a lot of
secrets. Which one can it be that warrants the ruckus he hears down the hall?

She unwinds her hands from his shirt and wipes her face off, trying to clear the evidence of her
emotional response.

"What are you talking about, Granger? I didn't hold back…"

"No? You don't remember the plans you made with a certain group of snakes for tonight?"

Oh shit…

Another loud noise, this time a female voice yells back.

"Gambling night." He says.

Granger nods her head as she continues to pull herself together.

"Fuck, I seriously forgot."

He remembers now how Blaise had stated after their last mission that two weeks was plenty of
time for the Golden Girl to become acquainted and comfortable in her new setting. Their weekly
ritual would be starting again during the weekend.

He meant to talk to Theo about it, make sure he closed off the Floo so they couldn't come tramping
in, but he had forgotten amidst all the chaos.

He looks back at Granger in a new light. He looks her up and down and tries to read her facial
expression until he watches as she rolls her eyes.

"Malfoy, stop looking at me like that. I am fine. They are not that scary. They have only been here
for maybe 30 minutes, and to be honest, I have been in here waiting for you for the last 15 with the
excuse that I needed to use the lavatory."

She walks into the closet, takes one of his shirts off its hanger, and throws it at him. He moved all
of his clothes into her closet, casting a room enhancement spell to fit both of their clothing. That
way, she had easier access.

No way in hell is she ever going to be in Theo's clothes again.

"Have they… They can be a lot to take in, but…"

"They have been much better than I expected. I am guessing that has to do with the fact that we are
not immature children anymore, and also that we all have common enemies now."

He watches her move forward as she talks and starts unbuttoning his shirt like it is the most normal
thing in the world. It takes her 4 buttons before she catches herself and backs up, rubbing her palms
onto her thighs. "They definitely have the Slytherin assurance and crassness, but I have found
myself warming up to those personality traits as I have been stuck with them for a few weeks
now."

He smirks at her as he takes his shirt off.

She's checking you out…

Don't flex, you prick.

Don't…

You fucking arsehole, you did it…

And she…

I think she likes it.

He pulls the black t-shirt over his head and runs his hand through his hair.

"Hermione! Either you are taking the largest shit in the world, or you are… Oh hey! Did it work?"

Draco turns around as Theo walks into the room and looks between the two of them.

"It worked."

Theo claps his hand in front of him and smiles. "Shit, that's great, mate. Glad for you. But your
rowdy friends are destroying my house, and they are drinking all the good liquor, and I need you to
control them now. I already have to make one plaque tomorrow. I don't want to make two."

He looks back over to Granger and tries to figure out how she feels about this.

You could always ask her, you idiot…

"How do you feel about this? If you are uncomfortable, we can tell them to leave. I can…"

She starts shaking her head at him. "No, honestly, Malfoy, it is fine. I actually think it will be good
for me to interact with people. Even if they are snakes."

She says the last words as she winks at him and walks over to the door.

"No, Hermione! We talked about this. You were supposed to convince the tall scary blonde to kick
them out so you and I could create a written catalog for my collection."

He was serious. That was a serious plan. Granger laughs and follows behind Theo and in front of
him as they walk towards the noise.

"I thought you were honestly joking, Theo. I'm sorry."

"Oh, you will be sorry after a night with this lot…"

Draco bends down to the side of her face. "Say the word Granger, and they are all gone. One
word."

She looks over to see him, and her eyes travel from his eyes to his lips for a second before looking
back at his eyes.

"I'll be fine, Malfoy, I promise."

"Oi! There's the newest version of the Golden Trio! Frosty finally comes to join us. Where have
you been, prick?"

Draco looks up and sees the room already filled with smoke from the cigarettes. Blaise and Pansy
share a giant bean bag he must have brought with him to anger Theo and are sitting next to the card
table in the corner of the room. Pansy is sprawled across his lap in a skirt, barely covering anything
with a tight shirt; the top buttons had been undone to let Blaises' hands play in her cleavage as he is
doing now. Daphne is over at the bar cart, pouring a rather large glass of wine and extending it
towards them as they enter the room.

"Draco, you want a glass?"

"Firewhiskey."

She nods and starts pouring the amber liquid.

"Nothing for me Daphodil! Thanks for asking. And Blaise, if I have to tell you one more damn
time to keep your disgusting feet off of my card table that has been in my family for 8 generations,
I will kick you off my floo."

Theo's head bounces back and forth with his attention as he tries to stay in control with so many
things going on. He doesn't do well in large groups. And while Draco wouldn't call a group of 6
people large, he knows it is a stretch for Theo. After they all started drinking, he would relax.

"Want a drink, Granger?"

"Firewhiskey, please."

He nods his head. Secretly loving the fact that the girl liked hard liquor. He had never really seen
her drink in school. She never drank at any house parties she had attended, so he had no idea what
kind of drunk she was, but he was excited to find out.

Daphne hands him his glass, and he nods his head as he sets to pour two more glasses for Theo and
Granger.

He feels a large arm come up around his shoulder and pull him in.

"Just so you know, Theo already gave us the whole 'if you mention or ask a thing about what
Hermione has been through over the past 6 months, Draco will seriously Avada you all on the spot'
speech so, no need for the dramatics again, okay? We will be nice, snakes honor."

He watches as Blaise makes an X across his chest with his middle finger.

"Snakes don't have honor."

Blaise makes a snorting noise, grabs an entire bottle of wine, and starts drinking straight from it.

"Okay then, on all my mother's husbands, I swear I'll be nice, and we all know that's a lot of
husbands."

He smirks at his friend and turns back to the table sitting next to Granger, placing her safely
between Theo and him at the table. He passes the drinks over to them.

"Thank you." She says as she takes a surprisingly large first drink. He smiles as he watches her
grimace and shake her head.

"Such manners, are all you Gryffindors always so polite? I'd hate to hear your dirty talk in bed.
'Thank you so much for fucking me.' 'oh, I do apologize for coming…"

"Blaise, shut the fuck up."

Granger takes another drink, not seeming to be phased by the aresholes unfiltered comment. "There
are a lot of pleases and thank yous if the sex is good."

Draco physically snorts the sip he is taking up into his nose and starts coughing uncontrollably.

Did she just fucking say…

"Ohhh! The lion's come out to play tonight. Yes! I always thought you didn't belong in that house,
Granger. You had more… spunk… tenacity if you will." Blaise emphasizes by raising his bottle to
her and taking a large drink.

"What, do you think she should have been placed in Slytherin? No offense there princess, but you
wouldn't have survived a day." Pansy sits up in Blaise's lap and places her two elbows on the table,
leaning her head into one hand.

"I've survived the last two weeks perfectly fine, and I have faced much scarier things than the lot
of you."

My witch is on fire tonight.

Pansy smirks at her remark and looks her up and down approvingly before turning her attention to
him.

"The fact that she has survived the last weeks with you two tossers is a testament to her strength.
You bloody fuckers didn't even think to get her bras and knickers in the days she has been with
you? What the hell is wrong with you both?"

Draco winces at her remarks, and he watches as Theo shrinks down in his seat, much preferring to
stay invisible or in the background during these little get-togethers.

"And you," she throws one of the chips laying on the table at Theo, and hits him in the eye.

"Shit! The same fucking eye again! Did Blaise tell you to hit me there?"

"You have the nerve, the audacity, the true belief to say confidently that you don't believe there is
any point to those pieces of clothing for a woman? Are you truly that dense? I thought you were
supposed to be Head Boy!"

She throws a handful of chips this time, and Theo tries to duck under the table at her
advancements.

Draco looks down at Granger; she meets his eyes, making her golden brown wider somehow,
showcasing an innocent pout on her face as she shrugs her shoulders. "She noticed as soon as she
flooed in."

He rolls his eyes at her but believes her fully. Parkinson always noticed those types of things.

"Daph, we should go back and get her a couple pieces."

Blaise wraps his arms around her and licks the side of her neck as she gives him a fake grimace,
and wipes the saliva onto her shirt.

"Don't give her any of my favorite pieces, Pans."

She smirks. "Her breasts are much bigger than mine, and so is her arse."

"Yeah, it is."

It takes him a minute to realize the comment had come from Theo.

The fucker has seen her arse…

Without thinking, he reaches around Granger and pushes Theo square in the chest, making his
chair tip backward. He flips over it, landing on the ground.

"Shit, mate! you know it was just a joke… I've never seen Parkinson's arse."

Draco lunges out of his chair as Nott backs up farther, trying to put the table in between them.

"Malfoy, sit down. You are being ridiculous."

He feels her warm hand grab onto his elbow and yanks him down. He listens but never takes his
eyes off Theo, who smirks at him, pushing his mess of curls out of his face and sitting back in his
chair.

Theo leans over and whispers something in Granger's ear that gets him a small smile and an eye
roll.

She isn't into him, remember?

She told you herself, she likes him like family.

He keeps repeating that mantra to calm himself down as Pansy picks up the conversation.
"What size are you?"

Granger shrugs and finishes her glass of firewhiskey. "I'm not sure anymore."

"How can you not be sure anymore?"

Her eyes begin to search the top of the table. "I was given some enhancement injections a while
back that changed the size of certain parts of my body. I don't know what size I am anymore."

The room goes silent at her words. He used drugs to change her body? Every time he thinks she
can't tell him something worse, she does. Every time he thinks he doesn't want to kill someone
more, she says things like that.

"But I mean, I don't mind the changes if I'm being honest. I had tiny tits before."

Don't look Malfoy.

Keep your eyes on her face.

"What do you think, Draco, probably a solid handful, so what a C maybe D?"

He looks over and sees Blaise squinting at Granger's chest, his arm stretched out in front of him
with his hand open wide, squeezing at the air.

I am going to murder you all…

"Daph, yours would probably fit her better, don't you think?"

Daphne looks over and tilts her head, examining Granger before nodding for a long time. "Yeah,
probably. I mean, it will be better than going without. I think your panties would fit her better
though, your arse is bigger than mine."

At this, Pansy stands up, pulls her skirt down, and buttons up her shirt. "We'll be back."

She bends down and presses a searing kiss onto Blaise's lips before walking out of the room.

"Would you like another glass?"

He looks over to his right and sees Granger holding their three empty glasses in her hands. He nods
his head, and she walks over to the bar cart to refill them.

"So what'll it be tonight, mates? You know we have an even number of girls to boys, so we could
make our games a little more risque."

"No."

He never realized how much of their conversations and antics involved sexual or at least physical
things. Now that he had read Theo's damn book, he was noticing a lot of new things about the
current environment that would have never bothered him before. Saying it was a lot was an
understatement.

His friends had literally asked her how she sounded in bed, how big her breasts and arse are, and
now are suggesting some type of lewd game.

She walks over, places their glasses in front of them, and takes another large gulp of her own,
leaning back in her chair, reaching into Theo's pocket, and pulling out a cigarette.

She looks at him, and he lights it for her.

Merlin… she is so fucking sexy.

She is the type of sexy that doesn't know they are sexy.

Watching her sitting there, holding a cigarette in between her lips, he feels his dick pushing against
the front of his trousers. He re-adjusts himself and takes a drink of his glass.

"How about cards? Do you know how to play poker, Hermione?"

She places the cigarette in between her two fingers, in a way he knows must drive Theo mad, and
nods her head. "Yes, but I am not very good. I have an emotional face, they say. Can we play
partners?"

"Sure, Me and Pans, Daph and Theo, and you and Draco. But let's make it strip."

"Not happening, Blaise. Go fuck Parkinson in the library if you need a release."

"No. Do not go fuck Pansy in my library. Last time you tore the cover off of one of my family's
genealogy books dated to the 2nd century. Just use one of the beds for Merlin's sake. And not
mine."

Theo pulls out one of the drawers and grabs a deck of cards while Blaise starts sorting the chips.
Granger tips back another glass, out drinking him currently and places it on the table.

"Would you like another?"

She shakes her head back and forth.

"Not of firewhiskey, maybe a glass of wine? Do you have red?"

Theo starts shuffling the cards and elbows her in the side. "Yes, Hermione! I've been dying to see
whether Harry and Ron are right about you."

She rolls her eyes at him and flicks the top of the deck he had just organized, sending cards
scattering across the table and onto the floor.

"What does that mean?"

He looks between the two of them. He hates all the time they have had alone to build this
relationship filled with moments no one else knew about.
"Hermione informed me what kind of drunk she is. Want to make another wager there, Draco? 50
galleons, if you guess correctly. Incorrectly and you pay up."

"I want in!"

Blaise sits up in his bean bag and puts out a cigarette in the ashtray, also pouring Granger a glass of
wine from the bottle he has been drinking out of.

She is shaking her head down at the glass before raising it to her lips. "You are insufferable, Theo.
I'm going to get you back."

Theo reaches into his pocket and places the money in the middle of the table.

"Okay, what are your guesses? Blaise, you go first."

Blaise spends a couple moments looking Granger up and down before smirking. "I bet she
becomes an even bigger know it all. Rattling out facts and information like a damn dictionary."

She rolls her eyes as Theo hands her another cigarette and lights it for her.

"Okay, Draco?"

She looks over at him and gives him a coy smile. The alcohol is already affecting her. He can see
it. Her cheeks are becoming pinker, and her gold is starting to fade in her eyes. She sits in her chair
like it isn't comfortable. Wiggling around and crossing one leg over the other. She keeps pulling at
her off-white blouse and playing with her hair.

"I think she likes to dance."

Her eyes shoot up at him, surprised.

"That isn't even an answer, Frosty, and you know it! A lot of girls like to dance when they get
drunk."

Draco shrugs. "Okay, she is a party drunk then. Likes to have fun. Let's herself loose for a few
moments. Fuck knows she needs to."

He leans forward into her space. She leans forward as well, expecting him to whisper something to
her. Instead, he intentionally raises his hand with his thumb and index finger, takes the cigarette
from her mouth, and places it slowly into his before taking a long drag. He savors the faint taste of
her mixed with tobacco.

"Am I right, Granger?"

She is staring at him, at his cigarette, and at his lips. She keeps staring at his lips.

"Pay up, bastards! You're both wrong."

She blinks and turns toward Theo. "Malfoy was pretty damn close Theo, and in my opinion of
myself, he was more accurate than Harry and Ron."

"You know damn well, Hermione, that's not true."

Blaise tosses him the money, and so does Draco as she shakes her head in frustration back and
forth. She makes to say something fiery back at him, but instead, she lets out a rather large hiccup.
It may have been one of the cutest things he has ever seen.

Theo leans back in his chair, laughing as he fills his pockets with the money.

"So, what kind of drunk are you, Granger?"

She looks back at him, and that fire is still there. Her fire while inebriated, is different, less
guarded. He likes it. "What kind are you, Malfoy?"

He smirks at her and empties his glass down his throat.

"I'm a confident drunk."

She rolls her eyes and leans across her chair closer to him so he can hear her as she drops her voice.

"So no different than normal?"

He takes her cigarette out of his mouth and holds it out for her. She leans forward, wraps her lips
around it, and inhales, eyes never leaving his.

"Much, much more so."

She exhales, tilting her head to the side, and gives him a half-smile. She leans forward, placing
those edible lips next to his ear.

"They say I'm a horny drunk."

Fuck my life…

This witch...

He squeezes his eyes shut as his dick twitches against the side of his leg at her words. Merlin, she
could probably get him off by talking like this alone. He would definitely be replaying this moment
in the shower later.

"Princess, come with us."

Draco blinks and sees Pansy and Daphne standing in the doorway with a bag in their hands,
motioning for Granger to join them. She picks up her glass and swallows the last gulp of wine
before almost stumbling out of her chair to join them. He reaches out and steadies her arm as she
stands up. She smiles down at him and nods her head.

"Thanks."

His eyes linger on her arse as she leaves the room.

"So you two have fucked, huh? Finally put that obsessive fantasy to bed?"

Draco turns and looks at Blaise as he takes her cigarette out of his mouth and exhales. "We haven't,
and don't say shit like that in front of her."

Blaise tips the bottle back, finishing it off and tossing it on the floor, as Theo glares at him and
gestures to the waste bin in the corner of the room. "She's been through some hell then?"

Draco looks down at his empty glass and nods.

"You getting her out of this?"

He nods again.

"Well, if you ever need help, I'm in. I'm sure Pans and Daph would be too. We all owe you."

Draco looks over at Theo, who looks back at him. They may need to take him up on that offer in
the future. He hated involving his friends in this. It was dangerous. Like imminent death
dangerous, and while he was fine with dying, has honestly wanted to for a very long time, he didn't
want his friends to have the same ending coming his way.

"Thanks. We'll let you know."

The girls come walking in, and Draco notices right away that the pieces definitely have their
purpose, and his dick agrees.

Those breasts…

"Her eyes are up here, Draco."

Pansy points to Granger's face, and he blinks as Daphne hits him on the back of the head, and they
all take their seats around the table.

She reaches over, grabs her cigarette he had stolen earlier out of his mouth, and rests it between her
lips, and he smiles.

"Okay, so let's play."

They play for a solid hour before Daphne threatens to cruciatus Blaise if he doesn't stop cheating
(which he is), and most of them become too inebriated to actually play well. Theo finally has
chilled out, leaning back and talking mostly to Granger. Pansy is basically having sex with Blaise
in the bean bag chair, even while he is yelling and waving his arms around at Daphne's correct
accusation. And Granger has drank 3 more glasses of wine and 5 more cigarettes.

She is wasted.

She is adorable.

Her cheeks are basically red now, and her eyes are bigger than he has ever seen them before. There
is a relaxation to her entire body and an openness in her emotions that is captivating. He can't take
his eyes off of her. And he notices her eyes keep traveling to him too.

In fact, they are looking at him as Theo reaches forward to grab the chips from the center of the
table he and Daphne just won when he knocks over the 2nd bottle of white wine Blaise had
opened. The top tips over and outpours almost half a bottle of chilled wine all over Granger.

She is so drunk that it takes her a solid 4 seconds before scooting her chair back to get her body out
of the way, but it is too late.
"Shit, my table! And oh yeah shit, sorry, Hermione. Bet you're glad you have that bra on now,
huh?"

He looks her over and sees how right Theo is. Her shirt is basically translucent now, and he can see
the pink bra as clear as day through the blouse. She pulls her top off of her skin, making a loud
slurping noise as she starts laughing and looks at Theo.

"You are always ripping or ruining my clothes, aren't you Theo? I'm starting to think maybe seeing
my arse wasn't enough for you. Now you want to see my tits too?"

Well… I hate this.

"I ripped my own damn pants the first time! And I already know what they feel like. I'm sure the
image I have is pretty damn accurate."

"You do have a nice rack, Granger."

Blaise says over Pansy's head that also pops up and leers at Granger's chest before nodding in
agreement.

End this. End this now.

Every fucking body wants her…

Can you blame them?

Draco finds himself standing up abruptly and pulling Granger up with him. She stumbles forward
and grabs onto his sides for dear life as she tries to get her feet underneath her.

"Fuck Malfoy! What the hell are you doing?"

He tries to walk her forward, but she stumbles again, clinging to his arm and holding her head in
another.

"Give me a fucking second!"

She has a dirty mouth drunk…

Yeah… I like that a little too much too.

Not caring that everyone is watching, he picks her up by the waist, hoists her upper body over his
shoulder, holds onto her legs, puts her amazing little arse right by his head, and walks down the
hallway as she begins shrieking at him.
"Have fun, you two!"

Her hands are smacking his lower back, and a couple times, she smacks his arse as she continues to
yell at him.

"Malfoy put me down this instant! How dare you? How fucking dare you just lunge me over your
shoulder like a sack of potatoes." hiccup. "I am a lady! Where are we going? Put me down!"

"Relax, Granger. You should be thanking me. It would have taken you until tomorrow morning to
make your way into the closet on your own, considering how wasted you are."

"I am not," she lets out another large, perfectly timed to prove his point, hiccup, "Wasted! Tipsy
maybe, on the verge of drunk possibly, but not wasted!"

He opens the door to her room, places her in a chair, and walks to the lavatory.

"Agree to disagree, Granger."

He walks back out with a wet rag and hands it to her as she grimaces up at him and walks to the
closet.

"How are you not drunk?" Hiccup. "You drank more than most of us rather than Blaise." Hiccup.

He pulls one of his t-shirts he had worn the other day and hung up without washing, so she could
have one that left his smell on her. And a pair of her night shorts.

"Do you want some of the pieces Parkinson and Greengrass brought you?"

The bag was sitting on the floor in front of him.

"Hell no. I'm not sleeping in them. They are nice during the day but highly uncomfortable at
night."

He pushes the bag to sit underneath her hanging clothes, walks back out of the closet, and freezes.

Oh fuck.

Granger is standing in nothing but a pink lacey bra and cream knickers. That is all she is wearing.
Nothing. Nothing else, as she wipes her body down with the rag he gave her.

"Granger, what are you doing?"

"Wine is sticky Malfoy. I'm wiping it off."

She looks up at him and gives him a skeptical look.

"What?" She says, raising up, giving him a view he had only ever dreamed about. It is way better
in reality. He knows he shouldn't, but he lets his eyes travel along her curves, looking at olive skin
he has never seen before. She has a short torso with one very large freckle on her left hip right
above the hem of her knickers. There are a couple scars still visible, like the word his aunt had left
on her arm and a couple of the large lacerations. Pansy had been correct. The bra did not fit her.
Her golden breasts are basically plunging out of the top in the most tantalizing way he has ever
seen. She isn't trying to be sexy, but Merlin was she, as she stands there placing her hand on her hip
and jerking her head to the side to push her hair behind her shoulders.

Fuck, you beautiful woman… The things you do to me...

He should say something. She is waiting for him to say something, but his mouth isn't working. He
can't think of any words to say to form the lie he needs to at this moment to not cross a boundary
they had both been skating on the past couple of days.

He watches as she finally rolls her eyes, takes the couple steps to grab the clothes out of his hands,
and turns around. She faces away from him as she places her hands on the hem of her knickers and
begins to pull down.

What the…

Shut your eyes, Malfoy!

This time he listens. He doesn't hesitate. She is drunk. She doesn't realize what she is doing.

"Granger, I ask again, what are you doing?"

He hears her stumble, and the chair scoot across the floor as she curses.

"Fuck! I am trying to take these damn panties off Malfoy!"

"And you realize I am right behind you, correct?"

"Well…" he hears her stumble again. "Ouch damn it! Well, Theo has seen my arse, so it's only fair
you do as well, I guess."

He can't help but smile at her fire-filled words. Merlin, she must be wasted out of her mind to think
this was a good idea. If she was sober, there is no way in hell she would be doing this right now.
So he keeps his eyes shut.

As he thinks this, he notices she stops talking and hears no movement.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Her voice had lost that fire it had been driven by the last few hours.

"You don't sound fine."

A moment passes.

"Why are your eyes closed?"

Well, Granger, because if I open them, I would be fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams, but at the
same time ruining any chance of you keeping me in your life, so I think I'll keep my eyes closed.

"What do you mean 'why are my eyes closed?' I think it's bloody obvious."

She is silent for a few seconds.

"Why do guys always close their eyes when I am naked? Every fucking time."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Does she want me to open my eyes? Because give me the permission Granger, and I will never
take them off of you again.

"I am aware my body has been used up and isn't anything to write home about, but you'd think at
least one fucking time, a normal bloke would look when I get naked in front of them, at least one,
but nope not Ron, or Theo, or even you. And I get it. The scars, and the word and the…"

Dear Merlin, he has to stop this.

Did she really believe that about herself?

And… Had the Wanker denied her?

Yeap, the redhead was officially the largest moron that ever existed.

"Granger, stop."

She listens immediately.

"My eyes are closed not because I don't want to see you naked, because Granger, just the sight of
your body may make me believe that all this hell was worth it. They are closed because you are
drunk, and enough men have taken advantage of you, and I refuse to be one of them."

She doesn't say anything back to him.

"Next time you're sober, feel free to strip in front of me anytime."

"You… you want to see my body? Even after what has been done to it?"

Granger, stop saying things like that…

"Of course I do. The real question is, are you ready, or do you even want to use your body in that
way again after what has been done to you?"
He hears some shuffling in front of him as she doesn't answer. Had he crossed a line by admitting
what he just did? He was pretty sure she knew he was attracted to her. Just like he was starting to
be convinced she was attracted to him but was she not comfortable with the realm of sex and
intimacy? He understands if she isn't. Hell, he understands if she never wanted to have sex or a
physical relationship again after what she had been through.

"I… I don't know… I… I never had sex before…"

Fuck no.

Nononononononononono.

Her only experience had been what Dolohov did to her? And what Theo's father, and the male
Carrow? No. No, he must have heard her wrong. She and the Weasel had to have fucked at some
point, right? There was no way the bastard had her around his finger for years and never made a
move. They lived in a fucking tent together for months! If what she is saying is true, the fucker
deserved to die for his stupidity alone.

"You're telling me the Weasley never…"

"No. Never. We never even kissed Malfoy."

Well, he knows that isn't true, but fuck, she doesn't remember that because that was during the
Battle of Hogwarts. And that had been the only time? What an absolute fucking idiot.

I never thought I could hate and love someone as much as I do you, Ronald Fucking Weasley.

"You can open your eyes. I'm dressed."

He opens them and sees she is sitting in the chair with her head hanging low, looking at her hands
in her lap.

"Granger." He walks over and kneels in front of her, lifting her chin so he can see her face. It is
already wet with her tears. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry your only experience has been what it has.
That he, he took that all away from you."

He moves his hand to wipe away the tears that keep coming.

"Is it different?" She says it so softly he isn't sure he heard her right.

"What do you mean?"

"Is it different, when it's… when it's something you want to do. Is it actually different?"

Fuck Granger, you are breaking my heart.

He nods his head at her as he continues to wipe her face.

"Yes. It is very different."

"How? Can… Can you tell me?"

She turns her head into his hand and nuzzles, taking a deep breath like she usually did into his
chest.

"It's…"

He pauses to try to think how to best explain it.

"When it's consensual, not only does your body respond, but so does your mind. The knowledge of
wanting the other person and them wanting you back creates this… intimacy if only for the act.
Still, it heightens everything, makes every part of your body respond, and act with the confidence
of being wanted in this way and wanting them back. Everything you felt and experienced at the
hands of those monsters... When you choose to do it for yourself, it is the exact opposite in every
way. I promise you."

She lets out a small whimper as she gets up and pushes him backward to sit in his lap. He pulls her
in and wraps his arms around her the way she likes.

I love being the one to hold the knowledge of how she likes to be held.

"I feel guilty sometimes for what I feel and think. It just doesn't always match up or make sense.
Like there are two of me in here now. Sometimes it feels like more than two. Like they want to
take those desires from me, to hold them to him, but he didn't train that into me. I do it to myself.
Anytime I think about sex, or the future, or make a crass joke, or look at… I feel guilty, like I am
not allowed to want those things anymore. That I shouldn't. Like that is what is expected of me.
But is it wrong to think those things after what I've been through? Should I not desire that
anymore?"

"After what you have been through, Granger, you should do whatever the fuck you want, whenever
you want."

He feels her smile against his chest.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

He can feel her mind working overtime, jumping from thought to thought, racing to conclusions
before the word 'go' is announced, as she sits in his lap.

"What if what I want to do is… is selfish?"

Does she remember who she is talking to?

 "Then I say even more reason to do it."

This time she laughs lightly into his chest.

"What if it isn't… well may not be a good thing to do?"

"Anytime you want to show me your darkness Granger feel free. It won't scare me away. It'll
probably draw me closer to you. I want to see it."

Maybe if she did… maybe he would have a chance? A real fucking chance.

For what? For the next few months?

The future isn't a possibility for you if you want one for her.

"You're… you're dangerous, Malfoy."

"And you are terrifying, Granger."

Chapter End Notes

MAJOR TW!!! - there is a graphic depiction of rape/non-con within this chapter. I

have placed ***** before and after the scene, to indicate where you should stop and
then start reading again if you do not want to read that scene.
The rest of the chapter is actually very sweet, heartwarming, and funny. If you want to
completely skip the entire ordeal of the rape agreement, please scroll down until you
see ...... marking a new focus of the chapter.
 Theo

Okay, this time, he is certain they did it.

They were basically eye fucking each other the entire night before Draco had carried her out over
his shoulder. So Theo once again did not believe the bastard when he tried to convince him they
didn't. That they had simply talked, changed clothes, and Hermione had fallen asleep in his arms.

So he repeats, how stupid did he think he was?

When the rowdy group had finally left at 3 in the morning, Draco threatened an Avada on every
single one of them if they made a peep walking by her room to head back to base. Since she was
sleeping in the room with the floo, they had to use the one in the main house.

He is currently the only one up since he always woke up at the same time. He has been sitting in
the library compiling all the information he has found on her tattoo and trying to make sense of it
all for the last hour, enjoying the few moments of solitude.

He loved his best friend. He truly did. And having Hermione around and getting to know her had
been one of the best surprises of his life, but he needed his alone time. They all really wore him
out. After the last couple of days they had, along with last night's festivities, he was tapped out of
social interactions.

He plans to sneak his way back into his room before either of them are awake and maybe stay
there for the whole day; keep researching a plan to get her magic back, and maybe start working on
that written catalog he had tried to persuade Hermione into helping him with. Oh, and he had to
make another fucking plaque.

I'm sure they would love some privacy anyways after last night.

He is happy for Draco. Really he is. Theo is probably the only person who knows the depths of
what the blonde has done for the Golden Girl. He knows how trapped he has been for so long
when it comes to her. And now he had an opportunity to be as free with her as he ever has.
Something he knew his brother didn't believe he would ever get. He wanted him to enjoy it.

"You're up early."

He grimaces down at her voice.

Damn it, there go my plans for the day.

He looks up and sees her taking the seat across from him, holding two mugs of tea and offering
one to him.

He shakes his head at her offer. He couldn't drink anything with caffeine. The stuff did horrors to
his always frantic nerves.

"You are too. Although you did head to bed before the rest of us."

"How late were you all up?"

"3"

She shakes her head and then grimaces, bringing a hand up to her temple. "I seriously am about to
rip out my own heart to make it stop thumping in my head."

Theo laughs and places the book he is reading on one of the stacks he still has hope to take to his
room. "Bad hangover?"

She nods her head and grimaces again at the movement. "You don't have one?"

"Oh, I do. They just don't seem to bother me as bad as other people."

After feeling like you are about to die for most of your childhood, waking up with a hangover feels
like nothing.

"So I am a horny drunk, huh?"

He pauses at rummaging through his notes in front of him and looks up at her. He wants to give
himself a high five. He knew they had fucked, bloody bastard lying to his face.

"So you and Draco did…"

"What? Merlin no! No, we didn't do that or anything else. I just meant I seemed to be doing a lot of
flirting with you and Malfoy."

Theo rolls his eyes. Maybe she was rubbing off on them as well. He doesn't remember that specific
habit before she entered his life.

"Our little flirts were the same as always, playful and innocent Hermione, so don't go telling
yourself you're some harlot. I just love pissing off Draco as I know you do as well." He stands up
and stretches his back. "You and Draco on the other hand, well, there was nothing innocent about
that."

He watches as her cheeks blush, and she hides her eyes.

"And that's nothing to be ashamed of, you know that, right? You want to flirt, flirt."

He knows that her little moments of affection towards the blonde make him look more alive than
he has in a long time. And Theo has the suspicion that they are doing good things for her as well
within her healing process.

Hermione pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth and pulls out the book he had given Draco,
setting it on the table.
How did she get that?

"I read this while he was gone yesterday. You… you both read this for me? To help me? To, to be
there for me in the best way?"

Theo nods his head as he watches her rub the cover of the book with her hand.

"Do you think, do you think I am like some of his subjects? Do you think the relationships I am
forming with you both are unhealthy? Or not even real?"

"Shit, no, Hermione! We both really care about you, unlike most of those blokes. We read the
book, so we could understand a bit more of what you are going through, just to prepare us to be
here for you in the most appropriate way possible."

"Appropriate?"

Damn it, Hermione, sometimes you and Draco are so similar in the way you think it disturbs me.

"So you are saying my flirting is inappropriate because of what I have been through?"

He closes his eyes and thumps his head face-first on the table.

When did he become a fucking mind healer? He had read one bloody book and was somehow
expected to say all this extremely complex emotional shit, right? He wasn't even good with basic
emotions yet, let alone the maze of perplexities involved in this kind of abuse.

"No, I am not saying that at all. The book was for Draco and me, not for you. We just wanted to be
sure to set boundaries for ourselves because you are a very easy person to like Hermione. You give
affection easily as well, and forgive me if this is insensitive, but you have endured a lot of sexually
related abuse and actions, and now you are again closed off with two people of the same sex who
had done those things to you. We just want to be careful with you."

He doesn't raise his head off the table. He doesn't want to. Every bone in his body aches with all
the contact, and talking, and having to be on for others. He needs a break. He needs to be alone
with his books and a shower.

"Theo?"

He lifts his head slowly, resting it on his arms that fold underneath his chin, and looks up at
Hermione. She doesn't look mad, so he takes that as a win.

"Do you need to be alone?"

Was she a fucking mind reader?

His face must be showing his thought process because she smiles and stands up, taking one of the
stacks of books off the table.

"Okay, so here is what we are going to do. We will carry these two stacks you were making into
your room for you to work on them in private. I am going to make a batch of my mum's famous hot
chocolate, and fill a bowl of a mug as you like to call them, and bring it for you to enjoy. Then I
will make Malfoy place a silencing charm around your room for the next 6 hours. So you won't
hear a sound from either of us. I will also start creating spreadsheet designs for your collector's list
you want to make and slide them under your door when I am done." She turns and tilts her head to
the left to look over the stack of books in her arms. "Does that sound good to you?"

"I love you."

He means it. Every damn syllable. She gets him. She sees him, and not just the him that tries to fit
in or is on for others, but the real him. The him that still hyper fixated on every word he spoke to
another person, having to consistently tell himself to look people in the eyes and that broken bones
and starvation were not normal conversation topics. The him that liked to be near people
sometimes but wasn't very comfortable with touch for the most part. The him that needed to be
alone to recharge and feel better again. She takes the time to see him, not just the version of him
she wants him to be.

He hadn't been lying when he said she was easy to like because she cared for people where they
were at, no matter where that was. She really was a rare kind of person. Draco hadn't been wrong
when he said she was priceless either.

He only loved two people his entire life, and they both are living with him right now. They are his
family.

She turns and gives him one of the best smiles he has ever seen as he picks up the other stack of
books and follows her out of the hallway.

"I love you too, Theo."

You are the first person to ever say those words to me. I may like you more than Draco.

They walk to his room and manage to open the door while holding the large stack. She leaves
without saying another word to him, and he loves her more for it. The room is pretty bland as it is
the one used the least in the house. Draco always slept in the other guest bedroom ever since he
had moved in after the drawing-room incident. He said he liked it more because it had more
windows. This one was more of a hole with only a large window on one wall. Theo was actually
enjoying spending more time in the room because over the years, it had kind of become storage
and a place to keep some of his more obscure and random findings and collectibles.

He sets the books on the desk in front of the window and starts setting them up in a pattern he had
used time and time again in school to study or research healing or wards.

He hears a light knock on the door and sees both Draco and Hermione standing there. She enters
with a bowl mug filled to the brim with something that smells truly amazing.

What had she called it? Burnt chocolate?

She sets it down on the desk next to him.

"Malfoy put one of his charms on it, so don't worry about spilling. We are going to do some
occlumency work, and then I will get started on those spreadsheets for you. Enjoy your time."

She raises her hand, bops him on the nose with her index finger like she did to wake him up, and
walks back to the door. "Oh, and I am cutting your hair tonight as well."

Before he can turn and respond to her crazy last statement, Draco shuts the door, and he hears the
background noise disappear as he places the silencing charm.

Theo leans back in his grandiose chair, which is more of a throne and closes his eyes. Merlin, the
silence feels good. Minutes go by as he takes it in, letting the silence relax his muscles, his heart,
his mind. The amount of tension he feels leaving his body is shocking, but they had all been
through a lot over the last few days. Well, honestly, for most of their lives.

After a while, he opens his eyes and looks down at the books with a clearer perspective, ready to
dive in and find the answers he needs to get Hermione's magic back.

Blood magic was some dark stuff, and not much information was available out there due to the
usually catastrophic outcomes of using it. Runes usually were used for historical purposes or
secretive purposes. Not many wizards spent time learning the old languages as many of the works
and spells had been translated to the modern languages at this point.

He had found one of the oldest manuscripts in existence listing the Elder Futhark alphabet and its
distinctions and variations throughout the years a couple of months ago while on a mission in
Austria. They had made fun of him then for spending 350 galleons on a book with 22 pages in it,
but who is laughing now arseholes. Thanks to it, he knew exactly what each darker rune cut into
the area of the tattoo on her neck stood for.

Now he needed to identify what exact form of blood magic was used within the runes to try to find
a countercurse and potion combination to give her magic back to her.

Just another day in the shitty world they were born into.

He opens up a book that his father kept in his office that had notes written by some former follower
of the Dark Lord along with information and blood magic used by Death Eater armies during the
first war and some in the second. His father must have updated it.

Theo reaches over and smirks at the ridiculous size of the mug as he brings it to his lips and takes a
sip. He looks down at what he is now tasting.

Holy shit, what is this?

It is the best thing he has ever tasted. What was Hermione not good at? Seriously, it should be a
crime to be as bloody talented as she is.

He gulps over half the mug bowl down before looking back at the book and taking notes.
An hour later, he has filled two sheets as he flips the book shut and raises the bowl mug to find the
creamy drink gone.

"Shit."

Maybe she made more?

He gets up and walks out of the room to see if there is anymore in the kitchen.

"Malfoy, please don't stop."

"While I love the sound of you begging Granger, I think it's best if we do."

Theo freezes in the hallway between the kitchen and the game room.

I bet they are fucking on my card table. Shit, I am going to have to disinfect every surface of my
house every day, aren't I?

"You can go harder. I know you can! Don't go easy on me. Give it your all. I won't break."

"Granger, you are nowhere near ready to take my all."

Merlin… I can't listen to this …

" And you have no idea what I am capable of handling. Malfoy, so slide back in and do it harder!"

He probably should wait, what an hour? How long did it take to have sex? He thinks an hour is
long enough. Yeah, he should wait an hour. He didn't need another cup that bad… But it was so
good… and creamy… and mouth-watering… And what kind of best friend would he be if he
wasn't a cock block every now and again? And after what the fucker did to him last night, he
deserved it.

"Burnt chocolate!"

What the hell, Theo?

He enters the room with his eyes closed and hides his face behind the mug bowl. Truly having no
desire to see his two best friends naked.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Hermione, is there any more of this burnt chocolate drink of yours? It is
bloody fantastic."
"Uh no, Theo, but I can make you more easily enough. And it's called… you know what nope now
it's called burnt chocolate."

He hears her let out a small laugh and some shuffling.

"Okay, thanks." He makes to turn out of the room.

"Theo, why are you hiding your face with the mug?"

"Listen Hermione, you truly do have a nice arse, but I have no desire to see Draco's pale back with
a crack ever."

"Theo, what are you talking about? We have all of our… Merlin, did you think we were… Theo,
open your damn eyes. We are not doing anything!"

He slowly raises his head over the mug to see Draco and Hermione sitting in chairs facing one
another, fully clothed. Draco is sitting back smirking at him while Hermione looks at him with
horror.

"Can't blame him for assuming Granger, with all the dirty things coming out of your mouth."

She turns her sneer towards the blonde and launches a pillow at his face. He catches it before it
makes contact and winks at her.

"Missed."

"I am better with shoes. And Theo, we are working on my occlumency skills, but he won't push me
hard enough to break any of my barriers and walls."

"That's because they are solid. So solid I can't find them to break. It's a compliment."

He throws the pillow back at her, and she catches it as it hits her chest.

"You are such a liar, Malfoy! How will I get better if you don't push me?"

"Trust me, if I am holding back, it is for the best for right now because you know there is nothing I
enjoy more than pushing you, Granger."

"Okay, can we stop this fucking foreplay and get me some more burnt chocolate so I can go back
to my cave of solitude, please?"

Hermione rolls her eyes and stands up as Draco smiles again, checking her out clearly.

"Theodore Nott, you are insufferable. You are lucky I love you."

He smiles at her as she takes the mug bowl from his hands. "Trust me, I know."

She walks out of the room, and Theo's smile disappears when he sees the way the blonde is
looking at him.

"Mate seriously, calm down. Don't get your blue balls all into a twist."

"She just said she fucking loves you. And she said it like she has said it before."

Theo dares himself and takes a couple steps forward to sit in the chair Hermione just vacated.
"That's because she has. Because I told her I loved her first, and she responded in kind."
You could have phrased that so much better to ensure your immediate death would not ensue.

He hears the wooden arms of the chair creak as Draco's hands squeeze the wood. "Explain."

Theo shrugs his shoulders which he knows makes his friend furious.

"What's there to explain? I love her. She is pretty great. I understand why you have been so
infatuated with her for so damn long. And I mean, that arse is nice, you know? Oh wait, you don't,
you haven't seen it have you? Well, it has this little group of freckles on the…"

He made it farther into that rile than he thought he would. His back smashes off of the ground as he
falls backward out of his chair again for the second fucking time in 24 hours. "Okay, okay, shit,
don't go all dragon on me! It was a joke, mate! Well, not the part about me loving her. But the
rest... well, not the part about the group of freckles either but…"

He feels the weight of the blonde before he sees him.

"Nott, if you want your teeth to stay in your mouth, shut the fuck up now."

"I love her like a sister, Draco! Swear on my life. Shit, can't you tell? She's into you, not me."

He feels the pressure of his friend's body ease at his words.

"She said it so easily just now because it is. We are friends who love each other. It isn't an I love
you weighed down with intimacy Draco I swear. Now get the fuck off of me before I go tell on
you, and she releases her wrath on your sorry arse!"

Draco gets off of him, and he rises, dusting off the front of his shirt and pants from the scuffle.
"Like family?"

He looks up at Draco. "Yeah, mate, like family. Or at least what I guess it feels like to love family.
Shit, you got to tone down the possessiveness."

Theo goes over to the sideways chair and places it upright as Hermione walks back in.

"What just happened? I heard a loud bang from all the way in the kitchen."

Theo walks behind her and points over her shoulder towards Draco. "The bloody prick pushed me
out of my chair again and then tackled me to the ground."

"Really, Nott? Cowering behind her? How fucking old are you?"

"Malfoy! Why would you do that?"

She hands him another completely filled bowl mug, and he starts to drink it right away.

"Granger, he is fine. Let's get back to work, shall we?"

She rolls her eyes at him and looks at Theo. "There is another whole pot of it in your room. Put a
warming charm on it, so it stays good, okay?"

Theo beams down at her. "What the fuck did we do before you, Hermione?"
"You have a little over 4 more hours Theo, enjoy them."

He walks back to his room, determined and energized to be the one to find what they needed to get
her magic back.

He ended up drinking the whole pot in the next four hours.

Theo boy, you are going to be living in the loo tonight after all those fluids.

But he also believes he found the exact type of blood magic used to suppress her magic. It was a
lighter version of what he assumed a blood slave incantation would do. Instead of taking over her
body, it took over her magic and placed it within the runic inscription on her neck. The blood
magic would need a potion, the runes would need a countercurse. And he would need Hermione's
help.

He hears one loud knock on the door, signaling it was not the curly-haired brunette.

He turns around and sees Draco standing there. "Your 6 hours of solitude are up."

Theo nods his head and hands him his pages of notes. "Think I figured out exactly what we are
dealing with. I'm going to need her help. Any chance we can clue her in yet?"

Draco shakes his head as he skims the pages he handed him.

"She isn't there yet. Her walls are solid, but they can break. Can I take these?"

Theo agrees as the blonde folds them into his back pocket. "Have a time frame of when she could
be? Because I could use her brilliant mind for this."

"At least two more weeks, I would say if she keeps working like she is, but if I know Granger, she
will probably do it in one."

Draco waves his wand to counter the silencing spell, and Theo immediately hears what sounds like
music playing down the hallway.

"What's going…"

"Granger has had the bloody thing on all day."

"Is she drinking too? I know that when she combines music and alcohol, sometimes she takes her
clothes off voluntarily."

He elbows his friend in the side as they walk through the door.

"And why the fuck do you know that?"

"Because we're besties, Draco! I probably know more about her than you do."

There is a long pause as Theo drops off the mug and pot in the kitchen. He continues to the library
where the music is coming from.

"How many freckles are on her right hand?" Draco asks.

Theo turns around and pulls his eyebrows together, looking up at the blonde. "What?"

He smirks down at him and passes him in the hallway. "Case and point."

As soon as Theo enters the library, he sees Hermione through the open doors of the balcony,
setting up a towel underneath one of his kitchen chairs. She is singing the words of a song he has
never heard before in a nice whisper of a voice before looking up and smiling at him.

"Okay Theo, times up! Now sit." She pats the seat of the chair and goes over to the coffee table,
grabs a cigarette out of a pack, and holds it out for Draco to light.

"What the hell is going on?"

She takes a quick inhale and throws him the rest of the pack. He notices the other sharp and
clinical-looking tools on the table and takes a step back.

"Theo, sit down. You have needed a haircut since I have been here, and lucky for you, I used to cut
my father's hair the muggle way."

She picks up one of the tools he is not convinced isn't a torturing device and stands behind the
chair. He takes another step back before the blonde shuts the doors behind him, eliminating his
escape route.

"Is this you getting me back for feeling you up? Because if so, Hermione, you truly are an evil
witch."

She rolls her eyes at him and pats the chair again. "Theo, I know you can't stand your hair as it is. I
am doing you a favor; trust me, okay."

Before he can take another step back, big hands wrap around both of his shoulders and press him
forward aggressively. When he stumbles in front of the chair, the hands turn him around and
roughly push him down in the seat.

They are quickly replaced by small hot hands that present another full mug of burnt chocolate in
front of him.

"Ohh yes. Do whatever you want. Have your way with me, Hermione."

He hears her laugh behind him as Draco lounges in a chair with his own mug of delicious
goodness.

Her hands start threading through his hair, and his whole body tenses at the contact.

"How short do you like it?"

"Uhh… usually just long enough for the curls to start, but not long enough for me to have to move
them every damn time I want to see."

She continues to run her fingers through his hair. He finds it is really hard for him to concentrate
while she is doing that. He doesn't like it. He almost feels inebriated.

"I can't remember your hair being this long since you were 11 and went through that magical pirate
stage."

He gives Draco a half-smile at the mention of one of the only fond memories from his childhood.
"Shit, I forgot about that."

Draco lets out a small laugh as he takes another sip. "Oh, I haven't. I believe my mother took some
images as well. One of these days, I will find them."

"And burn them. People already think I'm a nut enough."

"Magical pirate stage?"

Hermione pulls back the hair from his forehead and holds it up straight. He hears a sound that
reminds him of paper tearing before he sees small wisps of his hair falling in front of his face.

"Yeah. I read this really popular young wizard series that summer and decided I was no longer
Theo Nott but Langster Hughes, a magical pirate of the seven seas. Langster had to have long hair
like the main character, of course, so I grew my hair out. Even braided it once."

"14 times."

"Or 14 times. You and your fucking memory and obsession with numbers."

He hears Hermione laugh again as she continues to hold out large pieces of his hair and cut.

"I did something similar when I was 10."

"Really?" Draco looks up from the papers he had given him earlier at her comment.

Theo rolls his eyes.

I am not the hoarder.

You are the fucking hoarder Draco.

Hoarder of any information on the Golden Girl.

"Yes. I read this extremely popular muggle book series about a young girl who solves mysteries
and crimes with her friends. I convinced myself our sweet elderly neighbor was the most wanted
bank robber of the 1970's and spent all summer compiling research and spying on him. I even tried
to cut my hair in the iconic way of the main character. Needless to say, I physically destroyed all
images from that time period."

Theo laughs for a second before he remembers what the bloody witch is currently doing. "So you
are telling me this now! After you have started with a knife to my hair!"

He starts to get up from the seat, hoping the damage isn't that bad when she impressively shoves
him back down.

"I was 10, Theo. I know how to cut a man's hair, trust me. I can cut yours too, Malfoy, if you
want."

He sees her hand point the sharp device at Draco.

"Forgive me for not trusting you with a sharp object near my throat Granger."
Theo knows she must have rolled her eyes from the smile that appears on Draco's face.

"That wouldn't be how I'd end you, Malfoy, but suit yourself. I like your hair longer anyways. Way
better than the horrendous slicked-back look."

This time Draco rolls his eyes.

"I was a child Granger. My mother was a fan of the look." He moves to light a cigarette and places
it in his mouth. "And are you really going to make fun of my hair when your hair used to be a nest?
You had the worst hair out of all of us by far."

To his surprise, he hears Hermione laugh. He had noticed hair jokes never got to her. She usually
enjoyed them as much as the person making the joke.

"It's the exact same now, Malfoy! I have done nothing to it."

Draco leans back in his chair, giving the witch behind him a look that Theo can't even place. "You
grew into it, Granger. It suits you now."

"It suits me? Malfoy, did you just compliment my appearance?"

The blonde's eyebrows shoot together. "I compliment you all the time. What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?"

"Yes, you compliment what I do or my intelligence and capabilities, but you have never
complimented my appearance."

Really Draco? You got to compliment your girl's appearance. Even I know that.

You can save her lifetime and time again, but you can't tell her her hair looks nice?

What a bloody idiot…

He can see Draco is thinking the same thing.

"Well, if he isn't going to say it, I will. Hermione, you are seriously a looker. No, for real. Make
you a blonde or a redhead, and I would be obsessed with you."

He hears her laugh again as a clump of hair falls into his shirt and starts itching his back.

"Theo, you may want to take off your shirt, or you are about to be very uncomfortable."

He places his hand on the hem and begins to pull up.

"Don't even think about it, Nott."

He instantly rolls his eyes at the possessive prick across from him and lifts his shirt over his head.

"Whoa, Theo! Who knew you were hiding all that underneath your baggy clothing choices."

He feels a smile form on his face as a frown forms on the male across from him. "I could say the
same to you, Hermione."
"You know I still need to see your arse. To make it even."

Theo laughs aloud and tips his head backward to look the brunette in the eyes. "No way! You are
seeing my chest now, so either we are even, or you have to show me your tits."

"Please, you basically ripped my left one-off with how hard you were squeezing it I think, and…
Oh, Malfoy, sit down. We are only joking."

Theo looks back to watch Draco listen to her as he stares down at his feet with his hands clenched
at his sides.

Help the bloke out.

"You know Hermione, I think it's only fair that the exchange extends to Malfoy as well."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, we are making him feel left out. Let him see your arse, and then he can show you his, and
we'll all be even!"

He feels her hands freeze in his hair and watches as Draco looks up and smirks at him. "Well, that's
an interesting idea."

"That sounds like a horrid idea! And Malfoy could have seen my arse multiple times now if he
wanted to, but he always closes his eyes. Unlike you, Theo."

"You told me to open them!" / "You were drunk! I was trying to be a gentleman!"

They both yell at the same time at the witch.

"Wait, she took her clothes off in front of you last night, and you fucking closed your eyes?"

He looks over at Draco, dumbfounded at his absolute stupidity.

Draco lets out a frustrated huff and leans back in the chair. "Of course I did. She was fucking
wasted."

"Wow, you really do share similarities with the Weasley."

Draco's face falls into a death glare at his words. "Take that back, Nott. Right fucking now."

Before he can respond, the fiery brunette behind him does.

"I was drunk, not unconscious, Malfoy! I knew what I was doing. I had a full-blown, while
extremely interrupted by hiccups, conversation with you. So Theo, if he wanted to see my arse, he
could have last night, but he chose not to."

"I thought we talked about this last night, Granger. You know I..."

As he is talking, Hermione comes around and stands in front of Theo, bending down to his eye
level and surveying her work, giving Draco a perfect view of her arse in those tight muggle jeans
he loves on her.
She reaches and moves the hair resting on his forehead out of his eyes.

"You're doing that on purpose, Hermione."

The whispers as she styles and flips the pieces around on the top of his head. She looks down at
him and gives him a coy smile.

"What were you saying, Malfoy?"

"Nothing Granger. Absolutely nothing."

"Will you two just admit it already?"

He whispers it again so only Hermione can hear him. He watches her eyes glaze over and start
running back and forth as her hands rest in the hair on his forehead.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

She shakes her head and closes her eyes for a second before standing up and placing her hands on
her hips, surveying her work.

"Go take a look in the mirror and let me know if you want it shorter."

He stands up and wipes the hair off of his shoulders and stomach as he walks to the hallway
bathroom. He takes one look at himself after pulling the bloody towel down and smiles.

You look good, Theo boy.

She had done a great job. The curls are still present but stay where they are supposed to and look
more like waves now. He moves some pieces around and winks at himself before heading back to
the library to find a crying Hermione in Draco's arms.

"What?..."

"Switched."

Theo nods his head, wondering what had triggered this one. A loud popping noise traveling up the
hallway interrupts his thoughts. Someone had just used the floo in Hermione's room, so it has to be
either Blaise, Pansy, or Daphne.

"Hey, new and improved Golden Trio, where the hell are you at?"

"Theo, keep him out of here."

He turns his head back as Hermione presses her face hard into Draco's chest and starts shaking.

"Does she need a potion?"

"I'll get it, just shut the damn door and handle Zabini."

Theo nods his head and walks into the library, shutting the doors behind him and meeting Blaise in
the hallway. He has a crazed look in his eyes as they land on him.
"Nice haircut Nott. About time you handle those pubes on your head."

Theo walks down the hallway and into the kitchen, hoping Blaise follows him.

"Thanks. Why are you here, Blaise?"

"You haven't heard? The Order finally fucking retaliated. The battle happened in France a couple
of hours ago."

Theo freezes as he pours another mug of burnt chocolate at his words.

"They attacked? Why? What was going on in France?"

Blaise shrugs. "No fucking idea. But Pans' father was doing something I'm sure super evil there
and was killed in the attack. She needs to head home tonight, and she wants me to go with her. I
need either you or Frosty to cover my post for the night and most of the day tomorrow."

Theo nods his head, knowing he would be the one to cover his posts since Draco had let him stay
back for the last mission.

"Okay now?"

"As soon as you can."

"How's Pans holding up?"

"She hated the fucker, you know that. Blames him for the mark on her arm as she should. She's
going more for her mother."

Theo walks past him and to his room to start packing for the next 30 hours.

"Any other info about what happened?"

He hears Blaise let out a huff of air behind him. This isn't good. An active Order means fighting.
And fighting means that he would have to be on the battlefield again, and a lot had changed since
the last time that was his position.

"No, they are keeping it all pretty hush-hush. We only know because it was Pan's father. I think he
was the only casualty, though. No idea what motivated or drove them to attack now and where they
did. Hopefully, this isn't the start of the next wave."

Theo nods his head in agreement as he throws some clothes and a couple of his research books into
his bag.

"Flint there?"

He hates Marcus Flint. Hates him more than probably anyone other than his father, Alecto Carrow,
and Dolohov. He had always been so cruel to him in school. Always singling him out and wailing
on him in hidden corridors and alcoves whenever he could.

"Yeah, the fucker is there. And ever since they had that successful raid where they caught Percy
Weasley, he is acting like some fucking superstar. If you stay out of the dining hall during the rush
hours, you may never have to see him."

"Okay, thanks for the info."

"Where're the lovebirds at?"

"Busy."

"So fucking."

"No, just busy. I'm going to go let them know what's going on, and then I'll meet you at the base."

Blaise walks out of the room, taking Theo's suitcase with him, and into Hermione's to head back to
the base.

Theo makes his way back to the library to see Draco opening the doors with a much better-looking
Hermione wrapped around one of his arms.

"You okay?"

She nods her head and looks up at him. "Yeah, just... Just a hard moment."

"Well, Hermione, after what you have been through, you are allowed to have those."

She smiles at him and looks down, noticing his robes in his hand. "Where are you going?"

"Good question Granger."

Theo relays the information Blaise had given him, and Draco starts pacing around the library.

"Why France? What the fuck was Pans father doing there? And why attack now?"

"All good questions, mate. I will try to get more information while I'm at the base. Blaise said he
and Pansy would be back tomorrow evening. But I got to get going."

Before he sees her, Hermione wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him into his 3rd hug.
"I know you're not a big hugger, Theo, but I just have to give you one. Please be safe, okay?"

He reaches up with his one hand and rubs her back a few times before she lets go.

"No problem. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Don't break any of my stuff."

And dear Merlin, please don't let this bloody war be starting up again.
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He hex's her mouth open as wide as it can go and ties her arms with the rope always attached to the
posts of the bed.

"You love me, pet. I know you do."

Once he is sure they are tight enough, he moves over her, looking angrier than she has seen him in
a long time.

She screwed up. She hesitated. Her voice had broken as she said the word, making it sound more
like lurk than love. And he was now punishing her for it.

She can't even beg as he liked sometimes. She can't even scream with her mouth hexed like this.

He comes back into her vision and has a tool that she knows all too well due to her parent's
occupation.

No, No, he isn't going to… No, please no.

Her thoughts are cut off as she feels the cold metal press into her gums as he situates the device
around one of her molars.

"You love me, pet. I know it. Your body tells me every day, now we just need to train your mouth
to do the same."

She starts screaming.

"Granger! Granger, wake up!"

She feels someone shaking her body, and she opens her eyes.

She is still screaming.

It was just a dream.

It was just a dream.

No pet. It was a memory.

She shuts her mouth as her eyes adjust to the dark, seeing Malfoy looking down at her. His blonde
hair is all over the place from sleep, and he must have torn down the thin sheet divider between
their sections of the tent.
"You're okay; it was just another nightmare. You're safe, you're safe, Granger." His hands wrap
around her face and wipe away the tears. "Come here."

He pulls her into his lap, and she takes a deep breath of his mint scent as she wraps her arms around
him.

He pulls away from her for a second to hand her a Draught of Peace, and she takes it.

This was now the 8th night in a row she had a nightmare.

The first one happened the night Theo left to cover Blaise's position at the base due to the France
attack, and now it seemed they would be a nightly occurrence.

She had been hopeful at the beginning that she wouldn't have nightmares. She had gone two weeks
without one. But it seemed like the less she heard the other hers voice in her head during the day,
the more nightmares she had. Theo told her to take a dreamless sleep potion before falling asleep,
but she was trying hard not to rely on potions. She was almost at her breaking point tonight,
though. Maybe tomorrow, she would just take the damn thing before bed.

Her limbs start to shake less as the potion kicks in, and her crying settles to silent tears as she
continues to see Dolohov's furious face staring down at her as pain radiated through her body at
what he was doing.

"I'm here. I got you, Granger."

She feels his words against her neck at the place he always went to while holding her.

"It was the same one as yesterday."

"The tooth?"

She nods her head into his bare chest. He started sleeping without a shirt on, to her wonderful
surprise. He admitted that usually, he didn't sleep with much on but had changed his sleeping attire
since she had been joining him at night. She didn't think curling up in his arms could get better, but
being pressed against his bare porcelain skin… yeah, it was better.

As those thoughts fill her mind, she feels the fear fading away.

Does he know how much he helps?

Does he know how much easier he makes every moment to breathe?

"Thank you, Malfoy, I don't think I've ever told you this, but you help me. You help me so much,
and I am grateful for how kind you have been since I have been here."

She feels his body tense around her at her words.

"I should have been this kind to you always. I am sorry I wasn't."

He wasn't wrong. He should have been. She had never given him a reason to treat her as he used to.
Mocking her, making fun of everything about her, even calling her that horrible word.
She had actually been interested in meeting him. As soon as she received her letter and learned that
she was a witch, she had consumed as much information on this new world as possible.

True to character, she bought book after book, subscribed to Witch Weekly (that was a mistake),
and the Daily Prophet. Skimming through the paper, she had seen his photo and name many times.
His family was a big deal, super-rich, basically royalty. His mother was always hosting galas
supporting organizations and underfunded ministry work, which she found inspiring. She thought
she would like the woman. They were always stated as something called purebloods. At 11, she
didn't really understand what that meant, but she read how their son Draco Malfoy (she had
pronounced it all wrong, sounding out the 'a' in his first name the same as the 'a' in Malfoy) would
be attending Hogwarts along with her, and she was hopeful that maybe they could be friends.

When the day came, he was the only face she recognized at the station since she knew no one else
from this world yet. Well, she recognized the hair first.

"Dear, is that the little boy from the paper you told me about?"

Hermione felt her cheeks turn crimson for a reason she didn't really understand. She hadn't
mentioned him much, right? Maybe once or twice when her parents asked what she was learning
about the wizarding world, perhaps. Maybe three or four times about the color of his hair.
Wondering if it was a common look in the magic world. Okay, maybe five or six times about the
library his family had and how she hoped they would become friends, so he would invite her over
to see it.

"Yes, I believe so. Mum, Dad, I think it is time to board."

He was entering the fifth train car, and she wanted to make sure she found a seat in the same one.

Her parents gave each other a look she didn't recognize, and then they both bent down to give her
big hugs and kisses and words of encouragement. She saw the tear in her father's eye as he bopped
her on the nose.

"Go change the world, sweetheart."

She gave them a big smile and ran towards the car she had seen the blonde head enter.

She already had their conversation planned out. She would introduce herself and extend her hand,
he would take it, and then she would go into incredible detail about one of the rare collections she
had read that his library held. That would impress him. That would engage him. And then he
would invite her over to examine it herself over one of the breaks or summers. And then they
would be friends.

Hermione didn't have many friends growing up. She tended to get along and connect with older
people better than her peers. She had always felt different, less than, or just wrong in the world.
Now she thought maybe that was because she belonged in this one.

She entered the alley and saw that the car had sectioned off sitting areas. She made her way down,
glancing in each box for the platinum hair. As she was looking, she ran into someone in front of
her.

"Oi! Blimey! Sor-sorry there. I didn't see you."

She looked up and saw a taller brown-haired boy looking at her shyly and then darting his eyes to
the floor around them.
"It's okay. I'm Hermione Granger." She extended her hand out to the boy, who hesitated before
taking it and shaking it quickly.

"I'm Neville. Have you seen a toad around here? I… I seemed to have lost him. Trevor! Trevor!"

He got down on his knees and looked under the radiator unit on the wall. Hermione matched his
actions, loving all types of animals herself, to help him find his toad.

"Does he respond to his name?"

The boy shook his head before looking behind a curtain. "No, I… I am not very good at training
him I guess. Maybe he got into a box, or maybe he is in the loo?"

She stood up and brushed off the dirt from her jeans.

"I'll look in the boxes. You look in the lavatory."

The brown-haired boy nodded his head, turned, and started to yell the toad's name.

She walked down the aisle to the first sectioned seating area. The curtains were drawn, so she
couldn't see into it, so she knocked.

"Bugger off!"

Well, that was rude, she had thought. The tone and attitude used behind the words didn't help her
mood either.

Instead of doing as the voice told her, she pounded on the door harder and didn't stop until the
person inside opened it.

She blinked at the familiar blonde hair.

"What do you want?"

She watched as the boy looked her up and down, a dumbfounded look appearing as he took in her
jeans. Something she had noticed not too many of the other kids wearing.
"Are you mute or just stupid? I asked what do you want?"

She blinked and shook her head. "I… Have you seen a toad anywhere in your box? His name is
Trevor and…"

A dark-haired girl behind him and three boys all started laughing at her. She was used to that. The
other kids from her old school laughed at her all the time too. That didn't mean she liked it.

"Maybe he is in her hair. Could probably hide a lot of things in that monstrosity."

She felt her cheeks redden as the blonde in front of her snickered at the cruel girl's remark.
"Yes, good point. Have you checked your hair, if that's what you want to call it?"

Well, I don't think I want to be friends with him or them.

"Have you seen him or not?"

She didn't have time for cruel people. She had better things to do. She rolled her eyes, placed her
hands on her hips, and looked straight up at the boy, trying to make her feel less.

You have met your match.

He glared back at her, and his smirk turned into a sneer again.

"The only toad I have seen is you. Now bugger off."

Then he had slammed the door in her face.

"Do you remember how we met?"

She pulls out of his arms to sit on the floor in front of him as she thinks about the memory. At her
words, he looks down as she looks up at him, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"Yes."

She leans back on her hands and looks at the pattern of the duvet lying across his legs. "You know
I wanted to be your friend?"

"What?"

"I didn't know anyone from the wizarding world. Didn't even know it existed until a couple months
before I went to Hogwarts. So I read a lot about it to grasp anything I could. I got the Daily
Prophet, and your family was in it a lot. And it said you would be attending Hogwarts, and I
remember thinking, well, I will recognize one face. Maybe he will want to be my friend."

She watches as he grows more and more uncomfortable as she speaks. He moves his weight from
one arm to the other and closes his eyes to the floor. He raises one hand and starts rubbing the side
of his face back and forth.

"I actually pronounced your name all wrong too. I thought it was pronounced Draco Malfoy, and
I…"

"I called you a toad. And insulted your hair. And you rolled your eyes at me for the first time."

She blinks and nods her head at him, even though he still won't look at her. She is surprised he
remembers the encounter so accurately. She hardly thought it meant anything to him at the
moment, let alone close to 9 years later.

"I told you to bugger off, and then I slammed the door in your face."
"Yes, you did."

"I…."

His voice cuts out as he releases a deep sigh and finally looks up, meeting her eyes.

"I am so sorry, Granger. I am sorry for my cruelty. I am sorry for my actions. All of them. I wish I
could go through every infraction I have made against you and apologize, but we would be here for
hours possibly, and that fact sickens me. I hope I am proving to you I am not that boy anymore and
that I will never be him again."

She stares back at him. He had apologized before. In 6th year, when they had a run-in on her way
to the library. He told her he was sorry for how he used to treat her, how he didn't believe anymore.
It was days before the Battle in the Astronomy Tower. Days before he thought he was going to die,
she now believes he was righting all the wrongs he thought he needed to.

She had known something was going on with him but had no idea what was about to happen. All
she had given him was a simple thank you, agreed to put the past behind them as long as he proved
he truly had changed and offered her help once again. Like she had in the infirmary, but the
apology was interrupted by Crabbe, and Malfoy walked away.

"You said something very similar to me in year 6. When… when did it all change for you?"

"When I called you that word and knew I didn't believe it."

"But why didn't you believe it anymore?"

He looks away from her eyes again and moves them back and forth at the blanket. She always
wondered what had caused the change in him. It seemed to her the deeper he was pulled into the
beliefs, the less he believed them. Maybe it was the evil he had seen. Yes, he used to be cruel, and
petty, and a git, but he was never evil. She learned there was a big difference.

"How honest do you want me to be, Granger?"

"As honest as you can be, Malfoy."

He runs his hand over his face, and she finds herself leaning forward.

"You. You are the main reason I stopped believing in all that nonsense. It didn't make sense
logically or intellectually. If muggles and muggle-borns were so inferior, then why were you
beating me in every fucking subject? Why were you constantly getting Potter and Weasel and the
rest of us out of situation after situation? Why were you better than most of us at magic? None of it
made sense, and the older I got, and the more I saw what my parent's belief system entailed, I didn't
want any part of it."

He twists his left forearm over to the Dark Mark and looks down at it. "I never wanted any of this."

"I know that."

He looks up from the tattoo and pulls his eyebrows together. "You do?"

She nods her head and tucks a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "You have been trapped for a
long time, Malfoy. I knew that year 6."

He just stares at her, so she continues. If they are finally going to have a moment of honesty and
vulnerability between them, she needs to say more.

"You… I don't know if it is all in my head, but I noticed you stopped being cruel to me around 5th
year. You weren't overtly nice to me either. It… it just seemed like you wanted to stay away from
me, or you were avoiding me. Was that because you were struggling with walking away from your
parent's beliefs then, and I was a reminder of that?"

He scoffs at her and shakes his head down at the floor.

Okay… so I'm not right about that…

"You are a reminder of a lot of things, Granger."

"Like what?"

"All my regrets, for one. I see them all when I look at you."

She rolls her eyes at him and leans back on her hands again.

"I told you I forgave you, Malfoy. If you think I am going to hold actions you made when you were
an ignorant child, that you have apologized for, that you have stopped for the most part. I mean,
you are still a prick sometimes..." They both smile at her jab, agreeing silently at its truth. "If you
think I would believe in those moments over the actions you have made, and are continuing to
make now, then you don't know me. I meant it when I told you I think you are brave."

He scoffs at her again, stretching his arms above his head, flexing his chest and muscular arms.
Hermione looks down to keep herself from staring.

"Maybe you don't know me either, Granger."

"And who's fault is that?"

"It's dangerous to know me and my secrets."

Now it is her turn to scoff at him. That was a sorry excuse in her book. He chose to be alone. He
chose to hide his true self from people. Yes, she could see that he had been in an environment
where he would have to hide away his new beliefs as they would probably get him and everyone
he cared about killed, but she wasn't dangerous. She would never use his secrets against him. She
would never exploit his vulnerability.

"But telling me is not dangerous."

He physically twitches and barks out a humorless laugh at her words. Why does he think they are
ridiculous?

"Granger, telling you would be one of the most dangerous things I could ever do."

She huffs out in frustration at his non-answer.

"So does that mean we will always have this divide between us that you created? That I have never
wanted in the first place? If it is staying up, Malfoy, it is your choice. And if you decide to keep it
up, I am not going to fight my way through to try to change things."
Since she had been with them, he had been so different with her. He was similar to how he was in
those private moments they had over the years. He acted like the person who left her those notes
on her mugs. He had been consistent, well, for the most part.

"I do not want a divide between us, Granger. That is the last fucking thing I want."

"Then why?" She throws her hands up in the air as she feels that fire come to the surface.

"Why are you making one? I feel like there is so much you don't tell me, that you keep me in the
dark. I feel like you do that with everyone, thinking it is easier to always do it alone, to always be
alone, to never trust anyone. But you can trust me, Malfoy! I want to know you. I have always
wanted to be your friend. From the very damn beginning. You were the one to make us frenemies."

"Frenemies?" He leans forward and smirks at her secret description she always labeled their
relationship.

"Don't try to change the subject. I'm pissed at you."

"Oh, I understand that, and please feel free to continue to be pissed. But frenemies? I like it. A very
accurate description. When did you come up with that?"

He gives her one of her favorite smirks, and she feels her resolve faltering.

"A secret for a secret, Malfoy?"

He likes to play games with her. They always played games with each other. All those little banters
and matches where that fire that only came alive for him would take over her. Maybe she could get
something out of him if she made it a game.

"Deal. Ladies first."

She rolls her eyes and bends her legs underneath her, sitting on her knees.

"I came up with it after The Quidditch World Cup. Out in the woods. When you, in your very
Malfoy way, told Ron and Harry they were after people like me and told them I needed to leave. I
remember being pissed but grateful and thinking how I could feel that way. And the phrase popped
into my head, and it is the label that stuck to you ever since."

He smiles up at her, and she sees how much he is enjoying this little story, much more than the
memory of how they first met. "So you understood that it was a warning?"

She nods her head. "Of course I did. I knew you were trying to convince them to take me away and
protect me. In your own very crude way, of course."

She smiles at him, reaches out, and jabs his shoulder. He makes a show of her pushing him off
balance, being the dramatic one as always.

"Now your turn."

She watches his smile falter, and his eyes start working across her face. She knows he has a lot of
secrets. Which one would he tell her?

If he tells me something like his favorite color is green, I seriously may punch him again.
"My favorite color…"

She starts forward as soon as the words begin to leave his mouth, but he quickly grabs both of her
arms and pivots her down to the ground. He presses half of his body on top of her to keep her from
fighting.

"I'm joking, Granger. I knew you thought I would give you some half-arse answer." He chuckles so
close to her face she feels the little breaths against her lips and cheeks, and she feels the fire begin
to smolder.

She sticks her tongue out at him, and he laughs, still holding her arms down at her sides.

"So a secret, what kind of secret do you want to know?"

"Something no one else does."

She doesn't have to think about it. She knows what kind of information she wants. He stares above
her head, contemplating for a few minutes.

"Moaning Myrtle and I were friends."

She feels her eyes widen at his confession. That was not what she was expecting at all. "What?"

He smiles down at her shock and nods his head. "She annoyed the shit out of me at first. Actually
looked up a few ways to get rid of her entirely at the beginning, but I spent a lot of time alone in
lavatories 6th year, and while her voice was shrilling, to say the least, she was actually quite funny
and a good listener."

He pauses and looks over to his Dark Mark.

"She was the first person I showed this to."

Well, that definitely was a secret. One that held a lot of information in it, actually. Her chest feels a
little lighter at the realization that he hadn't been entirely alone during year 6. He had at least one
hidden friend he talked to, who he was honest with. Even if that friend was a teenage ghost who
didn't like her very much.

"That… That's really sweet, Malfoy. Thank you for sharing. I promise your secret is safe with me."

It makes her insides feel all sorts of ways to know that she holds information on the man above her
that no one else knew. It makes that fire go lower as well.

He smirks at her. "Nothing is safe with you until your occlumency gets better. You should practice
today, between sleeping."

He raises his body off of hers, and she shakes her head in agreement.

He reaches forward, takes her hair into one hand, and holds it up so the sweat from her nightmare
can cool on her neck and upper back. Something he had been doing for her every morning he was
with her.

"Do you want another one of my t-shirts?"

She shakes her head.

"No, the sun is about to rise anyways. I think I am going to stay up. When do you have to leave?"

He looks over to the larger-than-life, and intricately designed, grandfather clock in the corner of
the room.

"Soon. I should probably get up as well. Theo will be back before I leave. You should get some
more rest today. You haven't slept well in over a week."

He was right. She had been feeling worn out and tired the last two days, and she knew today would
be even worse if she didn't get some rest. It wasn't just the nightmares keeping her up. Malfoy had
been gone about half of the time the past 8 days, ever since The Order attacked a group of Death
Eaters in France. He had meetings, commissions to follow up on, and relationships to build. Theo
also was gone, but they always tried to make sure at least one of them was home at night. The one
night neither of them could be there, they sent Pansy to stay with her. She didn't get any sleep, but
she did have a whole new wardrobe that included proper fitting undergarments, some much too
intimate for her needs, thanks to Pansy.

She watches as he gets up and runs his hands through his disheveled bedhead. Unlike Theo and
her, Malfoy looked great first thing in the morning. No, great wasn't the right word. He looked like
a model. His eyes and facial expressions were always softer in the mornings, too, in a way she had
never seen before.

She knows she is ogling, but with the room dark, she lets herself indulge. His chest is littered with
scars from the curse from 6th year, along with others she is sure are from either his aunt, or the
Dark Lord himself.

But the scars didn't take away from his beauty. No, it was like they enhanced it. Made it more of a
painting rather than just a canvas. His body had a story, a horrible story, but breathtaking
nonetheless.

His sweatpants are hanging dangerously low. What is holding them up is beyond her. She notices
his very light, thin strip of blonde hair traveling from his navel and disappearing underneath the
waistband of his pants. Right down to the outline of a larger than normal…

"Granger?"

She blinks and looks back up at his face.

"Yeah?"

"I asked if you wanted a cup of tea."

He turns to give her a puzzling look.

"Oh uhm, sorry, yes, yes please, that would be great."

He nods his head and walks out of the room, and Hermione hits herself square in the face.

Pull yourself together, Granger.

You shouldn't want this… him after what you have been through.

It's just the trauma talking.

That's what Theo's book says at least.

But I was attracted to Malfoy before…

Nope don't open that can of worms, Hermione.

She shakes her head slightly and lets out a frustrated grunt as she starts to stand up. She freezes as
she feels a slickness in between her legs she hadn't felt in a very long time.

For Merlin's sake, Granger!

She runs into the closet and changes quickly for the day. She places the shorts and knickers
underneath the other dirty clothes in the closet to hide the evidence of what he did to her.

"Hermione, you in here?"

She looks out the door and sees Theo walking in, looking as exhausted as she feels.

"Hi. How did your night go?"

"Uneventful, thankfully."

He lets out a huge yawn as Malfoy walks in behind him with her mug of tea and his Death Eater
robes.

"I have to get going. I should be back before tonight as long as nothing happens. I will try to let you
know if things change."

She takes the tea from his hands and stares down, watching the floating bubbles stuck to the side
of the mug slowly disappear. She can't look up. She would start crying if she did. She hated when
they left.

"I hate this."

"Me too."

"I hate this war."

"Me too."

"I hate when you're gone."

"Me fucking too, Granger."

She smiles at the tea as he repeats the same line he always did. She looks up as he pulls on his
robes and starts walking towards the floo.

"Stay alive, Malfoy."

He gives her a smirk, and then he is gone.

She stares at the fireplace for a few moments until Theo lets out another loud moan-like yawn.

"Hermione, you look like shit."

"Well, nice to see you too, Theo."

He walks over and glances at the contents of her mug, wanting it to be what he called burnt
chocolate (she would never correct him), and grimacing at the sight of tea.

"So here's the plan today. You and I are going to reorganize my whole library. I researched a better
system and want to give it a try. Then, once we are done with that, we will discover the way to
defeat the Dark Lord and take care of him hopefully by lunch. Then we will come back, and I will
teach you how to finally hold a fucking stick right. Maybe we will throw in solving world hunger if
we have the time before dinner. What do you think?"

With the last words, he swings off his robes and elbows her in the side.

"So we are napping all day?"

He looks over at her and smiles widely. "Abso-fucking-lutely we are napping all day! I'll resize the
tent so we can sleep in there. I call the loft."

He waves his wand and grows the tent back to its original size.

"Okay, I'll go make us some burnt chocolate and grab a muffin."

"Ugh, have I told you I loved you today? Because bloody hell I do! Having a girl around is really
way better than just two blokes. I am hopping in the shower, and I am using yours because
technically, it is mine."

She rolls her eyes at him and makes her way through the tent and into the kitchen.

She places the pot on the stove and turns it on as she pours in the mixture she made in bulk after
finding out Theo could drink two gallons a day. She grabs two blueberry muffins from the fridge
and puts them on a tray as she takes another sip of the tea Malfoy made her. He always made her
tea perfectly, but she doesn't remember ever telling him how she liked it. She puts the red mug and
Theo's old-lady-porcelain teacup, he swore made what he was drinking taste better, next to the
plate and pours in the liquid.

As she enters the room and places the tray on the only available surface that the tent does not take
up in the room, she notices Theo is still in the shower.

And the door is open due to the massive tent that takes up the whole room.

And she can see he is facing away from her by the outline of his body through the glass-paned
door.

And an idea hits her.

"Okay, Theo, time to make it even."

She gets down on her hands and knees, crawling through the tent to the entrance that opens to the
bathroom.

She stays down as she makes her way to the shower door, trying not to make a sound to alert him
she is present. He is mumbling something; it sounds like the ingredients to a potion.
She slowly stands up and places her hand on the handle of the bathroom door, and quietly, slides it
open.

He doesn't notice.

Payback time Theo…

She moves forward, pokes her head through the door, and gets the full view she had been trying to
get ever since the 'Night of the Naked Granger' as Theo had started to call it.

He has a cute little bum. Somehow it is the same shade as the rest of his skin. It is hairless, which
was a disappointment because she was really hoping to make the 37 hairy arse jokes she had been
forming over the past couple of days. He does have a little mole on his left buttcheek close to the
side. And he has what she believes people call back dimples.

Damn it, he does have a good arse…

It honestly might be better than mine.

She looks it over one last time to ensure she isn't missing some hideous detail she could use and
abuse later.

"Well, I have to say, Theo, you do have a nice arse."

Before he can turn around and she sees more than she ever wants to, she shuts the door and dives
into the entrance of the tent, afraid he may come after her completely naked.

"You voyeuristic evil witch!"

She scurries through the tent until she is back in her section, and pulls her knees up to her chest as
she laughs. She keeps her knees up to her chest until she hears the water shut off. She looks over at
the sheet barely hanging on to the string that Malfoy used to separate their two sections, and starts
tucking it back in, leaving a couple inches open that would allow her to see him throughout the
night when she wakes up.

"Told you I have a nice arse."

She turns and sees Theo crawling in with a towel aggressively rubbing at his hair.

She gives him a questioning look.

"Mhhhmm I think mine is better. Maybe we should both show Malfoy and let him decide."

Theo barks out a laugh as he throws the towel back through the entrance into the bathroom. "Oh
yeah, that's fair. Like he would choose any arse over yours."

Her smile falters for a second, but he shoves a muffin into her face before her mind gets away with
her.
"So, no news?"

She looks over as he drinks basically the whole glass of burnt chocolate due to the ridiculous small
size of the teacup, and takes a bite of the muffin.

"Moooffing." He swallows. "I meant nothing. Not even any gossip. I don't know if that's a good
thing, or a bad thing. When you disappeared, there wasn't a peep for weeks, and even once the
gossip did begin, it was shit and few and far between. We were going off of Draco's assumptions
for probably two months."

She takes a sip of tea as his words hit her. "Wait, what do you mean?"

Theo freezes with the muffin half in his mouth, and squeezes his eyes shut.

"Hermione, can you please fight your nature on this one and let it go? Trust me, I am sure he will
tell you someday, but it is for him to tell, not me."

"Who, Malfoy?"

Theo nods and stares at the space between them, waiting for her to launch all of her questions his
way. But she doesn't. They let things go. Neither of them dig when it is obvious she is
uncomfortable, so the least she can do is return the favor.

Plus, she trusts them. They will tell her when the time is right.

She nods her head and takes another sip of her tea. His shoulders relax, and he downs the rest of his
drink in one gulp.

"Thank Merlin. Listen, I am passing out, and it looks like you need sleep as well. I have to go again
tonight, but Draco should be back at some point today. I believe he just has a few meetings. If he
doesn't, we'll have Pansy come stay."

Hermione agrees and sets their cups on the tray.

"Did you have another nightmare last night?" Theo asks as he moves over to the loft.

"Yeah."

"Tooth again?"

"Yeah."

Theo rummages in the loft and pulls out a vial.

"I'm not going to make you take this, but I really think you should, Hermione. I understand your
hesitation to rely on potions and all, but giving yourself a break every few days is not relying. And
you need sleep to prove to the blonde bastard you are strong enough at occlumency, so we can tell
you all our dirty little secrets, okay?"

He was right. She had been practicing her occluding basically 24/7 when they weren't around, but
she had found her walls easily breakable recently. Malfoy was being ridiculous as usual, and not
pushing her very hard, which was infuriating.

I asked you not to act like I'm broken, Malfoy.

She takes the potion from his hand, takes off the cap, and swallows.

"Okay great, well, like I said, I'm crashing. Sweet dreams, Hermione! Oh no, wait, no dreams,
Hermione."

He jumps up into the loft as he laughs at his own horrible joke.

She moves to get comfortable, grabbing the pillow Malfoy always uses, and switches it with her
own.

It smells like him.

That's the trauma talking.

Shut up, bitch.

She presses her face into his pillow and breathes him in. She loves the way he smells. She doesn't
remember when exactly he started to smell like that.

She noticed it during one of the trips to Hogsmeade. He had reached around her to grab the last
chocolate frog she was planning to buy. Hermione turned, finding his face inches from her own,
and she remembers being overwhelmed with his natural scent.

Whenever it was, she already looked up at him, and his classic smirk was plastered across his face.

"Gotta be quicker than that, Granger."

He walked away already eating half of the sweet.

She thinks maybe…………

What happened?

Where am I?

She feels a breeze of cool air against her ear.

She opens her eyes, sees the many mismatched patterns of the tent, and takes a deep breath in. She
always felt disoriented after taking a dreamless sleep.

She feels that breeze on her ear again.

It is coming from behind her.

Hermione turns her head slowly and is met with his lips. They are inches from her face. She sees
the sheet is still up, but now, it is pushed farther down. Giving her the ability to see his entire face
and shoulders.
She notices his hand laying underneath the sheet in her section, with the tip of his index finger
grazing her back. She leans into his hand, and it twitches, resting more against her back. He
twitches again at something, and his fingers twist the fabric of her blouse.

She turns more, wanting to ensure he doesn't have any injuries or marks on him that might give an
idea of how today went. It was starting to get dark, and she doesn't hear Theo rambling in his
sleep, so he must have left.

As she tries to turn, his hand doesn't let go of her shirt. The movement must have registered to him
as his eyes flutter open a few times before squinting at her. She watches as they begin to take in the
space around him.

"Hey." He says.

"Hi, glad you're still alive, Malfoy."

He gives her a soft, sleepy smile before rolling over onto his back and pressing his palms into his
eyes.

She looks him over. He had already taken his shirt off again, back in a very similar outfit like this
morning. There are no marks, bruises, or cuts on any part she can see, and she lets out the breath
she had been holding.

"It stayed a day full of pointless meetings, with pointless people, spouting out pointless ideas."

"Sounds miserable."

He stretches his arms above him and lets out a yawn. "It could have been worse."

He turns his head and looks her over. "Theo said you solved world hunger today, so I am guessing
you slept."

She smiles and nods her head, pulling the curtain farther down to talk to him.

"Yeah, I took a potion."

"Good, you needed one. Are you still tired?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"Always."

"Did you hear anything more about what happened or what's going on?"

He shakes his head and rubs the side of his face. "No. They are securing facilities, and strongholds
at this point, but the genocide has slowed down, so that's good."

She chews on her bottom lip as she takes in the information. The Order had done nothing else
within the last two weeks. And no one within the Death Eater forces were talking about what
exactly happened. Not even Pansy knew, and she had lost her father in the raid. Not that she cared.

"What did you do today other than sleep?"

"I saw Theo's arse."

She sees his body tense next to her.

Is that a six pack?

"Oh?"

She rolls over to lay on her stomach with her arms crossed underneath. "I thought you'd prefer to
hear it from me, so he doesn't spring it on you and get you all murdery."

"Murdery?"

"Yes, murdery. It may not be an actual word, but it correctly explains what happens to your face."

He doesn't say anything for a few moments as he stares up at the blanket ceiling. "So, you saw
Theo's arse."

"Yes, unfortunately, he does have a nice bum. No hair at all to my disappointment. But now we are
even. I still think mine is better than his. I told him we should have you judge, but…"

"Yours is better." She tries to hold back the smile that takes over her face, but she can't. He looks
over at her and smirks. "You get off on being the best don't you?"

Why yes, yes I do, Malfoy.

"I don't know what you are talking about. And how can you say mine is better when you haven't
even seen it?"

"Because the other option is attached to Theo."

She lets out a laugh at that. He is so quick with his comebacks. He was definitely better at them
than she was. She would never admit it, but she always struggled to keep up with his cleverness
when they started going at it.

"And how did you happen to see Theo's arse? Because I know he talks a lot, but I also know the
bastard would never show it to you on his own."

"He was getting a shower and left the door open."

Malfoy's eyes dart over to her with a look of surprise she doesn't understand. "The shower?"

"Yeah."

"So you saw more than just his arse."

She rolls her eyes. "No, I didn't, nor do I have any desire to. He was facing the other way,
mumbling some list, and I ran before he turned around."

"A list…"

"Yeah."
She is confused at the change in him within the last few seconds. It looks like he is battling two
different kinds of reactions to give her.

"Was it by any chance ingredients for a potion?" He asks.

She pulls her eyebrows together as he becomes more amused.

"Yes… why do you know that, and why does it matter?"

His smirk begins to grow. "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Tell me."

"You're going to regret it, Granger. There is such a thing as too much information."

"I have never disagreed with a sentence more."

He lets out a laugh and sits up, pushing his upper body back against the settee. "He was wanking
off, Granger. You interrupted the guy wanking off."

It takes a minute for the words to sink in.

He was wank… oh my gods...

And then, she is completely mortified. She feels her cheeks begin to burn, and she quickly hides
her face in the crook of her arm at the realization of what she had done.

Malfoy begins to laugh. A real laugh. A laugh she hasn't heard since school, when Ron received a
Howler from his mother during one of their meals. She looks up to watch his display as one hand
rests on his stomach. The muscles keep contracting with his gasps of air, making his abs flex and
then unflex. His other hand is flat on the ground, inches away from her head, holding himself up as
he continues to laugh.

I'd walk in on Theo again if it made you laugh like this.

She can't help it as a large smile and a giggle start escaping her lips. "You have to be wrong! He
didn't say anything to me when he…"

"Of course he didn't. It's Theo."

"How do you know he was doing… well that?... just because he was listing..."

"Because he always lists potion ingredients to try to make it last longer. Trust me, Granger. I have
lived with the bloke most of my life. I know his wanking off habits."

She gives him a disgusted look and rolls over onto her back, holding her hands over her face and
groaning loudly. He continues to laugh.
"But he was in the shower!"

"Your point?"

"Blokes do that in the shower?"

His laughter starts to dissipate, and his face turns from a joy filled smile, to an amused smirk again.

"Yes, Granger. We do it anywhere we are alone with our dicks."

"I would think the water would be annoying and distracting."

"You really want to have a conversation about our masturbation preferences?"

Damn it, he is right.

You should not want to have this conversation.

That is passing a boundary for sure.

She does have a lot of questions, though. Masturbation never agreed with her. She wasn’t capable
of doing it. All the girls in the dorms would talk about the act, and the toys they used to help them
get there.

Hermione tried quite a few times, but found she could never get her mind to stop, so she gave up
on that escapade years ago.

She lets out a sigh, drops the hands from her face, and starts playing with her shirt hem as her mind
continues to go. "I guess not."

She looks over as he moves to prop himself up on one elbow. "I have no problems with sharing if
you don't."

"What do you mean?"

The corner of his mouth raises, and she watches as his eyes travel down her body. He can't see
much. His t-shirts are basically dresses on her. "I mean, do you not enjoy taking care of yourself in
the shower?"

Her eyes widen and turn away from his.

Did he just ask me…

Yes, yes he did.

That fire he always lit in her belly falls a bit lower as she processes his words. She stares at the
blanket above her, deciding how she should respond. A part of her wants to snap at his crassness,
while the other wants to play along a bit longer. Maybe if she does, she could get some answers to
her questions without seeming too interested.

"I don't take care of myself. Doesn't work for me."

His face changes. "What do you mean?"

She shrugs her shoulders as she continues to stare up and play with her shirt. She never talked
about this type of intimate information with anyone. Not even Ginny, who seemed to be the
masturbation master from the way she talked.

"I mean, I can't do it. Never have been able to. My mind doesn't shut off, I guess." He doesn't
respond for a long time, so she continues. "I am guessing you do though?"

"Yes."

"Do you do it a lot?"

"No, not compared to some blokes, but I have recently."

She doesn't have time for his last words to sink in as a thought takes over, and she looks at him
debating on asking or not.

You are playing with fire here, Granger. Don’t do it.

"Have you… while I was right… in the same room?"

He starts to smirk at her again. "Do you really want the answer to that question?"

She slaps her hands onto the floor. "Yes Malfoy! If I ask a question, I want the answer."

"Then yes. Yes, I have."

Huh, that is interesting.

I should be upset, shouldn't I?

Hermione would be upset.

Granger though…

"I see." She doesn't say it with any emotion due to the internal battle taking place.

He slides back down, but turns his body towards her, bringing him closer. The sheet is still up, and
she can only see about a quarter of the way down his bicep before the rest of him disappears
behind the sheet.

"When was the last time you tried, Granger?"

They shouldn't be having this conversation. They really shouldn't. They have been skirting the
invisible line for days now. If they kept it up, one of them was bound to jump over it.

But the risk… well the risk, and the give, and the pull, and the temptation… They make her feel
great, weightless for just a short bit of time. She found she was becoming addicted to it.

"Uhm, maybe a little over a year ago? I tried often for some time. Researched and studied the best
practices, talked and listened to others who were successful. I tried everything they told me, but
this," she points to the side of her head and meets his eyes that are still swimming in the silver that
appeared last week. "It doesn't shut off for me."

They both go silent again, and she looks back up at the ceiling, believing the conversation to be
over.

"Close your eyes, Granger."

She turns her head over and gives him a questioning look. He is staring at her with that intensity
she likes so much. It drug her in, and consumed her when he looked at her like that.

"What?"

"I said close your eyes."

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the potion still making her disoriented. Maybe it was
an assortment of other things she can't name at the moment that makes her listen to him. It most
certainly cannot be his demanding tone and authority making her respond the way she is.
Absolutely not.

She closes her eyes as the fire he sparked earlier begins to twist.

"I can get that big brain of yours to shut off if you want. Do you want that, Granger?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Wait, what? No, Hermione Jean Granger, you do not!

Stop this insanity right now.

"Yes."

Oh bloody hell, we are doomed…

She feels him stir next to her, but keeps her eyes shut like he instructed.

His cool breath travels across the side of her face where goosebumps begin to appear.

"You are going to listen to every word I say."

She nods her head to show she has heard him.

His hand wraps around her own, and he brings it up to her breast.

"Touch yourself."

What the?

Was he… oh my gods…

Her hand presses down and starts kneading her breast. She feels as her nipple hardens and responds
to the touch. Her breasts have always been very sensitive. Her breath hitches as she continues to
press and circle her hand against herself.

"That's it, Granger. Now, place your nipple in between your fingers. Imagine other fingers. Fingers
you want touching you. Fingers that start pulling and twisting."

She moves her hand and starts twirling the hardened tip in between her fingers, and she feels as the
sensation travels down to her lower abdomen, and a small noise she should be mortified of escapes
between her lips.

She feels his cool skin against her other wrist as he takes her other hand and places it on her lower
abdomen.

"Touch yourself."

She responds immediately, letting her hand travel under the waistband of her shorts and in between
her legs. She already knows she is wet just from his voice, the things he was saying, and the things
she was doing to herself. She lets her fingers slide between her folds and into her warm wet center.

"Do you want me to tell you what to do with your fingers?"

"Yes… yes please."

She should want to curl up and disappear at the ridiculous sound of the voice leaving her. But his
words are making all those thoughts, all those inhibitions, self-doubt, and self consciousness
disappear.

"I like it when you beg, Granger. Do it again. What do you want me to do?"

One hand is still working her breast, kneading it harder as she starts to do the few things she knows
how with her other hand between her legs.

"Please, please, Malfoy. Tell me what to do with my fingers. Please."

"Are you wet, Granger?"

She nods her head vigorously as the fire in her continues to build and her breath becomes more
shallow.

"Good girl."
Oh my gods…

She feels the fluid between her legs increase immediately. Her body is responding to his voice in a
way it never has before. The things he is saying, and the way he is saying them… Maybe she was
wrong earlier when she told him ‘the way he said things was ugly.’ Because right now, she is
loving it. Living for every single sound that comes from his mouth, and the unspeakable things he
is telling her to do. No one has ever talked to her like this before.

It is hot.

Merlin, it is hot.

"Take two of your fingers and start circling around your clit."

She does as he instructs, and her breathing quickly turns into little whimpers and moans
continuously leaving her mouth.

"So responsive… listen to yourself, Granger. Listen to how you moan and writhe as those fingers
work around your clit. Is it soaked with you?"

She nods her head again. It seems she can't make her lips move into anything beyond the noises
that keep slipping out.

"Pinch it."

She takes her two fingers, places them on her sensitive area, and pulls up.

"Oh my gods!" The words leave her as she feels that warmth build to a sensation she has never
been able to bring upon herself before. It is low, and all consuming, and she needs it to explode.
She needs to release it.

"Fuck Granger, that's it. Now… now press down right on that wet clit of yours, and circle again."

She takes her middle finger and presses down on her center, circling in the way she had earlier, but
now, directly on the nerves. The fire travels to her upper legs.

"That's it. That's it. Merlin, you look beautiful touching yourself. Writhing on those fingers of
yours. I could watch this all day. I could watch those fuckable tits bouncing, and that mouth of
yours moaning, and that hand of yours spreading yourself all day. All day, Granger."

His praise is doing something to her. She loves it. He had been right earlier about getting off to
being the best. She feels a smile form on her face, and that pressure seems to reach a wall. It is
right there. Right there.

"I'm close… I'm... keep talking."

She increases the pressure and speed of the finger on her core. Not picturing her finger anymore.

"You like to hear me talk like this, don't you? Then let me see you come, Granger. I want to hear
those pretty little noises, and watch as your body arches, and your toes curl. I want to watch as you
soak the floor underneath you. I need to know what that looks like."

As he is talking, she feels the pressure push past that wall and consume her.
It explodes in her abdomen, but doesn't stay there. The sensation travels through her whole body,
making every single one of her muscles respond and contract at the pure bliss of the moment.

"Oh! Oh, yes yes…"

Her back leaves the floor as she turns her head to the side, and she lets out a series of moans that
turn into a scream as her hand squeezes her breast to the point of pain. She feels amazing as she
crests the top of her orgasm and then starts to come down. She feels her hands shaking, and her
breath continues to come in shallow bursts.

"Fuck." Draco lets out a grunt as the curse leaves him. They sound forced. Like he was in pain.
Like he was…

Is he?

Did he?

She looks over to him. His eyes are now closed shut, with one hand holding his head, and the other
down past the sheet. The sheet still covers his lower body, but as she watches his face become
sharper, and his breath hitch, she knows her suspicions are correct.

You masturbated in front of Malfoy.

He masturbated in front of you.

You both came in front of each other.

You… You just destroyed that line.

She turns away, moving her hands off of her breasts and out of her shorts. Her hand is soaked, and
so are her inner thighs.

"Granger, you okay?"

She keeps her eyes shut. How was she supposed to look at him after what they just did? Should she
pretend it never happened? Should they have a discussion about it? Maybe they should tell Theo,
or maybe not, that sounded like a horrible idea. They definitely shouldn't be sleeping next to each
other anymore. She orgasmed in front of him. He told her how. That… that was her first orgasm
she wanted to happen.

"Granger, do you need me to shut off that brain of yours again to get an answer from you?"

"I… I'm okay. Are you?"

She is not okay. That felt… That had been… Malfoy was right. It was different. The actual orgasm
honestly felt the same, but the build up was a completely different experience. She had made it
happen. She had wanted it to happen. She wasn't fighting against her body, hating herself as it
happened; wanting to disappear as her body betrayed her. She had done it, and she has never felt
more in control, more able, more… dare she think it, hopeful.

She feels a smile take over her whole face.

"Yeah, now that you're smiling. How do you feel?"

"Powerful." The word leaves her before she has time to really think of a proper response. But she
does. She can make her own body feel so much better than it ever had. Dolohov didn't own that
ability like he tried to convince her. He wasn't the sole holder of her history with coming anymore.

Take that, fucker.

"You are."

Her smile grows at his agreement. She hears him shrinking the tent around them, and moving to
stand.

"Granger."

She opens her eyes to him standing with a smile she has never seen before. It looks endearing. Like
this moment was special to him too.

He holds out his hand to help her up, and she takes it. It isn't until she is up that she realizes she
placed the hand she had used to masturbate with, still wet from her ministrations, into his. As it hits
her, she yanks her hand out of his, noticing the shine left behind on his palm and fingers.

"Oh my gods! I, I, I am so sorry, Malfoy! Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my…"

"Granger, relax. It's fine."

She expects him to wipe it off against his joggers. That's what she would do, but he keeps the hand,
glistening with her fluid, away from him. Like he doesn't want it even touching his clothing. She
doesn't blame him.

This beats the: turning-yourself-into-a-cat moment for the most embarrassing thing that has ever
happened to you.

And of course, Malfoy is here witnessing it all.

"I'm going to grab a shower in the hallway, so you can use this one. Are you up for another lesson
afterwards?"

She jerks her head up..

He wants to teach me… again?

But I think I know now, and we just did it.

And…

He lets out an amused noise. "Granger, I am talking about occlumency."

Hermione blinks and shakes her head. "Oh, okay yeah. Yes."

He gives one of her favorite smirks before turning and walking away, never letting his hand touch
his clothing. He must want to wash it off in the bathroom. She should do the same.

She runs into the bathroom, going straight to the sink to wash off her hands. She takes a long time
in the shower, enjoying the warm water on her body. Dolohov had only used cold water on her.
Even though he had hot water. And he never let her take a shower. A couple of times he forced her
to clean him off while he got one, but those were the only times she was allowed.

As she steps out, she hears the floo pop. Theo wasn't supposed to be coming back tonight. And
Blaise and the other Slytherins weren't expected. She ties the cord around her robe, and opens the
door to a Theo she has never seen before, gesturing wildly at a freshly showered Malfoy.

"They expect you in a few hours! A few hours, Draco! And the things he said they did to her…
What, what are we going to do? How do we…"

Theo’s crazed eyes finally notice her. He looks like he is about to lose it. His eyes are wide, and his
skin is pale as his arms and limbs start to shake with the nerves coursing through his body.

"Theo, what's…"

She cuts off her words as he falls on the ground, pulling his legs up to his chest, and closing his
eyes.

"1...2,3…...4…..5..6,7."

She stares at him as he continues to count out loud, not understanding what is happening or what to
do.

"Granger."

She moves towards Theo on the ground as she looks up at Malfoy, seeing a similar look of fear and
utter desperation.

"What's going on?"

She bends down and rests her hands on Theo's shoulders, massaging them as he continues to count
and rock back and forth on the floor.

"It's the last day of the month."

Her hands freeze on Theo's shoulders.

Nononononononono!
How had she forgotten? How had they never talked about this? How had they not prepared for
this? What… How… She… she doesn't know how to solve this problem.

"I need you to tell me what happens, Granger. I know before you didn't want to talk about it, but I
need to know."

She falls onto the floor next to Theo who is up to number 122. Malfoy appears before them with a
Draught of Peace, giving one to Theo before pouring one into her mouth, and then his own.

They need to know. Merlin, how are they going to get out of this?

"He would have Master rape me. He would watch. He would say things in a way that made it
obvious he was talking to The Order as Master did what he wanted to me. After he was done, they
would put the memory in a vial. They… They are going to want you to do the same."

She looks up and meets his eyes. The silver is gone again. But they don't look dead, they look in
pain. She has never seen his eyes look this way.

"No."

"Draco, that's what I heard too! They send The Order memories of him taking advantage of her, of
the whole fucking act. And after what happened last week, Carrow said they have big plans for the
memory exchange tonight. They are going to want you to…"

"No."

"Draco, mate, if you don't, someone else will. He will probably let Dolohov, or Carrow, or both for
Merlin's sake or..."

"No! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!"

Malfoy begins to fall apart. He grabs his hair with his hands, and he starts pulling and shaking his
head vigorously. He falls to the ground in front of them, continuing to yell, scream, and curse as he
starts to pound his hands into the side of his head.

She reaches over and tries to grab his wrists to stop his assault on himself.

"Malfoy, Malfoy! Calm down, please calm down."

She grasps his wrists and tries to pull them down as he continues to shake his head back and forth.

"Not this… I can… anything but this…" He groans out.

Once his hands are away from his face, she moves into his lap and wraps her arms around his
shaking shoulders. He doesn't hold onto her though. His arms stay out, open in defeat.

She presses her face into his shoulder and feels the tears streaming down her face. "It's okay. It'll
be okay, Malfoy."

"How do we get out of this?" The question comes from Theo behind her.

"How long?" She asks him.

"He said 2 hours, but that was probably a half-hour ago."

Damn it. They couldn't implant false memories into all the people who were usually present. There
is no excuse the evil wizard would accept for disobeying direct orders. She… she doesn't have any
ideas.

"I don't think we can. There isn't enough time, and the time I do have, I need to occlude. I need to
build walls that hopefully will stand against him. He usually does a quick sweep before… before
the spectacle. I have to get ready."

Theo sits in front of her. "But what do we do about, about…"

"Nothing. We just have to do it."

Theo starts shaking his head, and Malfoy's body starts to twitch harder in her arms.

"Granger, I can't."

She feels the words against her neck and pulls away to look at him.

She cups his face to make him look at her. "It's okay, Malfoy, I promise you. I'll be okay. It'll be
different than…"

"No! I have, and can do a lot of things, Granger. But I… I can't... rape you. I can't, I can't..."

"It won't be rape, Malfoy. Don't think of it like that. I want it to be you. I would rather it be you
than…"

"It is rape!" He yells.

She holds firm to the sides of his head as he tries to jerk away.

"No it is not! It is survival, Malfoy! We have to! You have to or he will have Master do it. If you
hesitate, Master will jump at the…"

Malfoy pushes her out of his lap, and stands up looking furious. "Stop fucking calling him that!
And stop fucking saying it isn't rape. It is, Granger. You are asking me to rape you!"

She starts to cry harder, and she has to look away from his anger. She doesn't want this. She doesn't
want to have to ask him to do this, to become this for her. But if he doesn’t, Master will… and
that… that was so much worse.

"Draco, do you want to watch Dolohov do it to her!? Because shit, that is the other option. Either
you do it, or he does. Those are our choices. That is the reality we have been given." Theo says.

She continues to sob into her hands as Theo stands up and walks in front of her.

"I can give you a performance potion, and maybe give her a lust one if you want, Hermione. It
could make it easier for both of you. And maybe the Dark Lord would allow her to take it. To send
a memory of her being drugged, and having… that done to her. Maybe to change it up…"

She hears loud steps and a door slam so hard, she is convinced he must have broken it.

"Shit… Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Theo sits down next to her, and he starts to rub her back. "Hermione, I
am so sorry. I…"

"We have to convince him to do it. We have to. I can't, I can't have Mas… Dolohov touch me
again. I can't, Theo. I…"
"I know, I know, Hermione, but we are asking him to do something that… that might destroy him."

She knows that. She knows she is being selfish by asking him to put her well being before his own.
To ask him to destroy himself to save her.

Hermione wipes at her face. "It wouldn't be rape. I would never look at him as someone who…"

"But he would look at himself like that."

She opens her eyes as he starts to stand. His gaze is fixed on the closed door.

"I need to go to him. I think it's best if you stay here. You were right earlier, you need to work on
occluding."

She really does. She knows that, but she also knows Malfoy was not okay.

Like he knows what she is thinking, Theo shakes his head. "You can't be the one to talk him down
from this, trust me. Are you okay, though? I don't want to…"

"Go, Theo. Help him, please. And if he can't do it then… then that's okay. I understand. Tell him I
understand, please?"

Theo's eyes travel between her own before giving her a slight nod. "I'm so sorry, Hermione."

He leaves the room without saying anything else. She sits on the floor curled up for too long. She
needs to put this behind her. She needs to work on what she can control. What she can do, and
change, and solve.

You survived this for six months. You can survive one more training session with him, Hermione
Jean Granger. But if you don't control your mind, you're not going to survive the night.

She wipes her face clean before sitting up and determining herself to occlude. She closes her eyes
and cracks her neck as she tries to control her breathing. She has to protect them. She has to protect
herself. Everything good and happy needs to be hidden on the shelf.

Hermione continues to work on the other memories from the last few weeks, hoarding and
sectioning them off. She pulls forward the moments of fear, switches, and hard times, but occludes
the sweet moments of both men comforting and helping her.

She does this for what feels like hours before a tap on her shoulder brings her back. Theo has his
wand pointed towards her as he averts his eyes.

"So, not to make all this even shittier, but I need to cast some spells on you to make it look like…
Like we haven't been treating you very well."

She knows what he means. She looks healthy, and she couldn't go in front of the Dark Lord tonight
looking like she was okay. She nods her head and Theo raises his wand, reciting charm after
charm. She doesn't feel anything happening.

"They are like backwards disillusionment charms. Instead of making things disappear, it makes
things appear."
Before she can respond, Malfoy walks into the room and their eyes meet. He looks over her face
quickly and then, back down to the floor.

"It isn't real, mate, I promise."

"It looks fucking real."

"Well, that's the point. It'll last around 6 hours, so long enough for what we need." Theo stands up
and looks between the two of them. "I'm going to give you two a minute. I'll be back when we need
to leave."

She looks up at Malfoy as Theo shuts the door. He still won't meet her eyes. He still looks
defeated, devastated, and ill. She never thought he could look worse than during 6th year, but right
now, he does.

She wants him to speak first, but she knows he won't.

"Malfoy, no matter what you decided. It's okay. I understand. I shouldn't have asked you to do that.
It isn't fair for me to ask you something like that, and…"

"I'm doing it."

Her breath catches in her throat.

He still won't look at her. She can't help but feel relieved. It will be so much easier for her with it
being him. It will be so much easier having someone do it that she knows doesn't want to. Who she
knows cares for her.

"Are… Are you sure?"

He nods his head quickly. She watches as he closes his eyes for a long moment. When he opens
them, all emotion is gone. His face is blank, hard, cold. He occluded. Occluded all this away.

"Thank you, Malfoy. I…"

"Stop.” His harsh word cuts her off. “Don't fucking thank me for agreeing to rape you, Granger.
Just stop."

"It's not rape! Please stop calling it that!" She feels the tears in her eyes as her anger takes over.
"We have both been raped, Malfoy. We both know what is about to happen is not the same. So,
you stop! You stop calling it that right fucking now!"

Theo walks back into the room with their robes in one hand and an assortment of vials in the
other. "It's time."

Malfoy grabs the robes out of his hands and pulls them on as he walks over to the floo, waiting for
them.

She makes eye contact with Theo and gives him a look, knowing she is about to make this even
worse with what she is about to say. "I have to take my clothes off. I can't be wearing these
clothes."

Theo's eyes widen at her, and she sees Malfoy tense, but he never turns around.

"Put on one of those nightgowns Parkinson bought you." He bites out.

 "But I never…"

"Now, Granger."

She blinks at his anger. She knows he isn't mad at her. She knows that, but his words are hurting
her. She quickly changes into one of the black slips Pansy bought for her, noticing the large
bruises, scabs, and cuts all over her arms. Now she understands why Malfoy looked away when he
entered the room.

She walks out of the closet. Theo places his robes around her as she goes to stand next to Malfoy.

He hands her a potion and she takes it without question, feeling calmer even before he throws the
powder into the fireplace, and they disappear.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - discussion of rape at the end, and physical abuse at the very beginning.

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram
 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

"I placed a disillusionment charm on the performance potion. It is in your left pocket. Just make
sure you take it subtly, and no one should notice. The lust potion is in the right pocket if the Dark
Lord agrees to allow her to take it. Hermione, your contraceptive potion is good for another three
days. I also have some for after. Draught of Peace, Pain Suppressant, dittany…."

He keeps talking, but Draco hears nothing else rather than his heart beating in his ears as they walk
down the hallway of his old home.

There are no thoughts in his head, no feelings; it is bare, black, barren.

Until he feels her small, warm hands wrap around his and squeeze.

Please, please stop touching me, Granger...

I can't do this.

He yanks his arm away from her and walks a few steps forward.

He is about to rape her. Her. She can call this fucked up situation whatever she wants, but he
knows what it is. He isn't in denial.

Even Theo tried to convince him this was some grey area of assault on both sides, which he had
laughed at.

How had this day gone to hell so fucking fast?

It started great. Draco planned on putting it down as one of his favorite days in history.

He could still taste her on his tongue as he took each breath. He knew it was probably wrong, but
as soon as he walked out of that room, he found he couldn't help himself. He needed to know what
she tasted like.

Just that thought, that want as she made herself come at his instructions, following them perfectly,
had him burst all over his hand as he stroked himself. Along with the fantastic sounds she emitted
at her actions. He always imagined she was a vocal one.

So when she placed her soaked hand into his, he held the precious essence of her so carefully to
ensure he wouldn't lose a drop. She was mortified. He was elated. He couldn't get out of that room
fast enough.

As soon as he locked the lavatory door, he licked every inch of his hand clean. She tasted fucking
fantastic. She tasted how alcohol made him feel. Intoxicated. Addicted.

He wanted that shirt she wiped her hand on. He wanted to create a charm to ensure her scent never
left it, that it would always smell of the two of them, even after there weren't two of them anymore.

And now, less than a few hours later, he is walking down a hall to become one of the many men
who had taken advantage of her. To be placed in the same category as Carrow, Nott Sr., and
fucking Dolohov.

He knows he won't be able to live with himself after this. He won't be able to ever allow himself to
feel again. A shell, that is what he will become for the remainder of her time with them.

Empty, just like he was for most of his 5th, 6th, and 7th year in school. And then, he would end the
shit of a life that he has lived in a way that left as much damage behind as possible. He would make
sure his death was a tidal wave, destroying all those on his ever-growing list.

"Malfoy, wait, please just look at me."

Her voice breaks through the nothingness. Somehow she always broke his concentration.

"I can't."

It's all he says because it is all he can say. There is so much he wants to say, and scream, and yell
so fucking loud that his voice breaks away, never to be heard again.

I can't look at you.

I can't talk to you.

I can't touch you.

I can't do this.

I can't fucking do this.

Granger, I would do anything, anything for you.

But I can't do this to you.

For you.

Not to you.

Never to you.

Never again...

He has been trapped in an environment of shitty decisions after shitty decisions for so long that he
honestly thought it couldn't get worse.

How could it get worse than deciding between confessing and acting on your feelings for a girl,
which would place her in the line of fire even more than she already was, or keep your distance and
try to protect her from afar?

It did.
How could it get worse than deciding to get the Dark Mark, or watch his father rot away in
Azkaban?

It did.

How could it get worse than deciding between dying or killing yourself, and subsequently your
whole family, or killing one of the most powerful wizards who has ever lived?

It did.

How could it get worse than deciding to watch the girl you have tried to protect for years get
tortured on your floor as you wait for help to come, or act heroically and try to get her out but
undoubtedly kill you both in the process?

It did.

But now he is brave enough to look fate right in the face and give it the middle finger as he thinks
how in the fucking world could it get worse than deciding between raping the girl you would do
anything in the world for, or watching her get raped by someone else?

The world he lives in never gives him the option to do what he wants. To make the right decision.
Because evil never gave you an easy choice. It just gave you two that would kill you either way.

He hears her start to cry, and his foot falters for a second. Everything in him wants to grab her, hold
her, and tell her everything is going to be alright. He wants to take her away, get her to safety, give
her to anyone to get her out of this mess, even the fucking Weasel.

He wanted to be her safe space, he had done so much to make sure she was safe, but every time he
turned, he seemed to have to hurt her or stand by while she was getting hurt to keep her from death.

You aren't saving her. You are just prolonging the process.

You are just prolonging her misery.

"Do you know where you are going?"

He keeps walking without answering, knowing exactly where this was about to happen. It couldn't
be in any of the other dozens of rooms in the manor. No, that wouldn't be evil enough. There was
only one room in which the Dark Lord would hold this fucking spectacle.

"Nott, take your robes off her. Granger, come here."

He reaches back without looking at her, finds her arm, and wraps his hand around it, yanking her
forward. She lets out a small yelp as she stumbles to his side, and he pulls her along.

"Malfoy, I understand. I'm not mad. I will never look at you as..."

"Say another word, and I will silence you."

He hears her whimpers increase.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so fucking fucking fucking sorry.

He turns down the hall and feels Granger pull back just a step as she realizes where they are going.

"You've got to be shitting me." He hears Theo whisper as they enter his family's drawing room.

The Dark Lord sits in a large chair with Nagini wrapped tightly around him, covering most of his
lower body. There are fewer people than Draco thought there were going to be, but that did make
sense with how well kept Granger's whereabouts were for months.

His aunt, along with his father, are to the right, standing with a few other high seated Death Eaters
such as the Carrows.

I'm going to kill you Carrow Cunt.

Theodore Nott Sr. and Dolohov are standing closer to the Dark Lord, whispering to themselves. He
watches as Dolohov notices they have arrived and turns all his attention to the brunette he is
dragging behind him.

"Ah, young Draco! Thank you for joining us this evening."

He continues to pull Granger roughly behind him until they are before the Dark Lord. He yanks her
arm forward, flinging her to the ground as he lowers to one knee.

"My Lord."

He raises back up and tries to keep his eyes off his girl still on the floor to his right. Theo walks up
behind him, and also goes to a knee before rising again.

"I see the toy is being taken better care of, if not slightly, by the two of you. Have you been
enjoying your new acquisition?"

"I try not to touch her more than I have to, my Lord."

Draco looks over at Dolohov, who has not taken his eyes off Granger. He looks jittery, like he
might jump and grab her at any second. The monster places his hand into one of his pockets, and
Draco sees his demeanor slightly change.

"And why is that?" The Dark Lord asks.

"Because I have no desire to stain my pureblood with the likes of her unless it is needed, my Lord."

Please be enough.
Please be enough.

He watches as the Dark Lord nods his head in understanding and agreement. "Yes, you have
always been dedicated to blood purity, young Draco. A quality I hold in high regard. How have you
been progressing on your assignment?"

"Nothing yet, my Lord. But when I received her, her mind was splintered and broken. Legilimency
was not bringing forth anything that made sense due to the chaos of her mind. We have spent this
last month healing it to a stage where we can try to use it and search it effectively."

He watches as the Dark Lord turns his attention to Granger. The slip barely covers anything, and
with the position he threw her, both of her breasts are on full display to those in front of her.
Including Dolohov, who adjusts the front of his trousers while raising another hand over his upper
chest as he looks down at Granger.

We are going to kill you, Dolohov.

"Let's see, shall we."

Within the same second, Granger starts to scream on the floor and falls onto her back as the Dark
Lord cuts through her mind. Draco knows what she is feeling. The Dark Lord had sliced into his
mind many times within the last couple of years. It never got better. It hurt just as much as a
cruciatus. Sometimes, the evil wizard combined the two on him, especially after his performance at
the battle and the mishap with letting the Golden Trio escape from his manor.

And you are standing here once again, while she is on the drawing room floor, screaming.

You aren't saving her.

This is all your fault.

You never save her.

Unlike last time, her screaming stops after 1 minute and 41 seconds.

He watches as the Dark Lord blinks and smiles at him before looking over at Dolohov.

"He has made more progress with the toy in one month than you did in six, Antonin. I truly believe
I have made the best decision by taking your pet away from you. Maybe I will let Draco keep her
when I am done with her."

Draco can't help the overwhelming feeling of pride he is overtaken with for his witch on the floor.

She did it. She was able to keep her walls up against one of the fucking darkest wizards in the
world. Merlin, what can't she do?

Dolohov finally takes his eyes off of Granger to look at the Dark Lord. "My Lord, I can assure you,
we are closer than we have ever been before. By the next spectacle, we will have success."

"To be seen, Antonin. Now, let us continue with the festivities!.."

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

Anything, anything but this.

"...This is your first time with us, Draco, so I will explain. The Order needs a reminder. If they
attack, the Mudblood will pay. Apparently, Antonin having his way with her was losing its luster."

He pauses and sticks out his tongue, licking around his mouth in a slow sensual way that makes
Draco's skin crawl.

"I respect your disinterest in using her in the same way as Antonin, but we are still in need of a
demonstration, aren't we?"

He isn't going to make him rape her? Did he hear him correctly? What other kind of demonstration
could he want?

"Crucio her." The Dark Lord is looking at him.

He blinks and begins to pull out his wand.

I… I can't do this either.

I thought you said anything else?

I lied.

"Of course, my Lord, but this may damage her mind and put us a few steps back on the progress we
have made." Draco pulls the words out of his arse.

Please be enough.

Please be enough.

The Dark Lord stares at him for a moment before looking down at his snake and lovingly caressing
her head.

"Yes... we wouldn't want that." He looks back down at Granger and stares at the fake bruises and
marks covering her body. "She is a Mudblood. Let's do this the Mudblood way. Beat her."

Draco blinks again.

I think I'd rather crucio her.

At least there is distance when doing that.

I can't lay my hands on her.

He feels his limbs start to shake, and he is thankful that the thickness of his robes covers the
evidence.

Granger looks back at him and Theo for the first time since they have entered. Like she had said
weeks ago, her face always showed what she was feeling, and right now, Granger is looking at him
the same way she had that first time she had woken up on Theo's floor.

Terrified.

Instead of walking towards her, Draco feels himself taking a step back.

"Did you not hear me? I said beat her. Beat her until I say to stop."

His mind goes blank on anything and everything as he stares down at her. He can't move, he can't
speak, he can't think beyond the fear of what one action had the power to push him towards, to turn
him in to.

He feels his right hand forming a fist as he takes a few steps toward her. She is looking right at
him. If he doesn't, someone else will. If he doesn't, Dolohov will put his hands on her. If he doesn't
destroy himself, they will destroy her.

Granger, what do I do?

I can't do this.

I can't…

Before he finishes his thought, he sees movement to his left.

Suddenly, Theo walks over to Granger, raises his hand, and hits her hard across the face.

She lets out a yelp, and her head doesn't even hit the floor before Theo smacks her on the other side
of her face, whipping it back in the other direction before colliding with the floor.

Draco stands there for a moment, staring, unable to move, as he processes the scene before him, as
Theo moves closer to her again, and she cries on the floor.

What the hell!?

Stop this!

He takes a step toward his brother. Fighting back the urge to kill him, but when Theo looks at him.

He freezes.

He understands.

A choice has been made.

No Theo… I can't let you do this.

You can't do this to yourself.

"Well, well, well, like father like son, I suppose." Draco hears someone say from his right.

Granger is whimpering as she holds her face in her hands. He watches as small drops of blood
begin to pool on the floor as she raises her eyes.

Before she can look at him, Theo raises his hand again, this time in a fist, and punches her in the
face so hard it sends her back a couple of feet before hitting the ground.

"Keep your eyes down, Mudblood!"

Theo walks over to her, rears back his leg, and kicks her in the side.

And he doesn't stop.

He keeps kicking, and punching, and throwing, and hitting.

The noises she is making now are nothing like they were hours ago. These noises are killing him,
breaking him apart as he stands there watching. Always fucking watching. Never fucking saving
her. Never fucking protecting her. Always, always fucking watching. Now he is watching as his
best friend destroys himself as well.

I'm sorry, Granger.

I want to stop it, Granger.

He doesn't mean it, Granger.

Please forgive us, Granger.

Please forgive yourself, Theo.

5 minutes and 15 seconds…

Slap.

26 seconds.

Punch.

37 seconds.

Slap.

48 seconds.

Kick.

59 seconds

Kick.

10 seconds

Kick.

21 seconds

"Is she still alive?"

He blinks, realizing he is staring at the floor. She hadn't made a sound in over a minute. 73 seconds
to be exact. He looks up, and all of his walls come crashing down at seeing a body again.

A broken body again.

A red body that used to be gold again.

His body again.

Her body again.

Her dead body again.

Granger.

Before he is able to think of the consequences, he rushes forward and rolls her over. He flinches as
he takes in her bruising eyes, sunken nose, and gashed lips. Her eyes are closed. Her limbs are limp
in his arms.

She's dead.

Kill them.
Kill them all now.

"It has a heartbeat. It's fine." He looks across from him and sees Dolohov with his fucking hand on
her neck.

"Get your hands off of her now." It is more of a growl than an actual sentence.

Dolohov doesn't look up at him, though. He watches as the fucker's face begins to smile as his
hands start to touch her everywhere he can as quickly as he can.

Luckily, before Draco pulls out his wand and Avada's him, which was his plan, Theo grabs the
monster by the shoulder with his bruised and blood-covered hands and throws him across the floor.
Theo kneels on the other side of her, touches her neck, and gives him a slight nod before retracting
it.

His face is cold, blankless. Theo didn't have Draco's level of occluding ability, so he knows his
bareness of emotion comes from his past. His ability to dissociate and become numb to the world
around him was just part of who his father had made him to be. It was how Theo had to become,
had been for so long, to try to survive. To try to reach a safety, he wasn't even sure existed.

But it had been years since he had resorted to those defenses. Draco couldn't stand to see him doing
it again after he had worked so hard not to be like that anymore.

What did this do to you, Theo?

Please, please come back.

"She's alive," Theo says with no emotion.

"Let us prove that to The Order."

Theo nods his head, pulls out a potion, and pours it into her mouth. His hands are steady, as if the
sight of Granger's blood all over them wasn't shattering him from the inside out.

Theo doesn't have the stomach for violence. He hates it in any form. He wanted nothing to do with
conflict of any kind, which is why he always tried to use humor to de-escalate situations where
tensions were running high.

Granger's body jerks twice as her eyes open. She starts moaning and screaming as the pain takes
over. Her body begins to shake in a way that means she would probably have a seizure, but Theo
shoves another potion into her mouth before she can. She swallows it, and within moments her
shaking lessens, and her screaming subsides to sobbing. She looks at both of them before trying to
back away in fear.

"Mudblood, you are still alive, yes?"

Her attention goes to the dark wizard above her.

"You see, we will keep her alive as long as the attacks stop. If you retaliate again, expect her body
instead of a vial." The Dark Lord isn't talking to anyone in the room. He is talking to the people he
is sending this memory to.

Draco watches as Nott Sr. hands him a vial, and the Dark Lord raises his wand and drags the bluish
string-like smoke into the vial.

"That is all."

Before he can, Theo moves and picks up Granger and carries her in his arm to the open door. Draco
turns to follow. She is crying loudly now, begging Theo not to hurt her again, promising to be a
good little Mudblood for him, and other hauntingly fucked up shit Draco needs her to stop saying
this second. He isn't sure if she is acting or if she has switched, but either way, he doesn't care. As
soon as they are in the hallway, Draco runs up next to Theo, and he tries to take Granger out of his
arms.

"Malfoy, wait!"

Are you fucking kidding me? He wants to die. He has to want to fucking die.

He looks over his shoulder to see Dolohov running after them down the hallway.

"Stop him! Stop him, Malfoy please don't let him come near me!"

Her arms wrap around Theo's neck, and she pulls her broken body closer to him, trying to keep
herself out of the sociopath's line of sight.

"I got her, Draco. You handle him." Theo's voice is still cold, maybe even colder than before.

Draco nods at his brother and turns to look at the man who hurt his girl beyond imaginable. Who
took so much from her. Who used her. Her. His brilliant, beautiful, kind, forgiving, sexy, eye-
rolling, delicious tasting witch.

He hears the floo pop as Dolohov stops in front of him.

"What do you want? There has got to be something you want, right? Name it."

Dolohov raises his head and looks him right in the eyes. What the hell was he talking about?

"What?" Draco asks.

He raises his hands in exclamation. "Name what you want in exchange for it. For me to have time
with it, twice a week, an hour each. Name it, Malfoy."

Occlude Draco.

Occlude right fucking now.

He closes his eyes for longer than usual and starts building wall after wall to stop himself from
ending the man in front of him.
She should do it. She will end you. Not me. I have to get her to safety before we ruin you.

"No."

He turns away, but the fucker grabs his arm and swings him back around.

"You want it, don't you?! You care for it! I fucking knew it. I knew that all went down wrong.
What did you do to get it, huh? Why else wouldn't you take my offer right now unless you care for
it." He reaches up and grabs the front of Draco's robes, pulling them closer together. "I love it. And
it loves me, you hear? It will not be yours. I will get it back, you fucking prick. It is mine!"

His, his!

He thinks she is his?

He truly thinks she loves him, that what he did to her showed his love for her?

I have met a lot of monsters in my life, but Dolohov, you may just have the Dark Lord beat.

"What is her name?"

Dolohov's grip on his robes falters, and he blinks in surprise at his question. "What?"

"The girl you supposedly love, what is her name?"

Draco was taking a risk here. The sociopath could have looked into what her name was in between
their last meetings. He could have remembered it on his own. He could have opened up any old
newspaper and would have seen her name somewhere in the damn pages for crying out loud. But
he doesn't believe he did any of that. As he had said before, he didn't really have a use for her
name.

"Granger."

He scoffs. "Her full name."

Dolohov's eyes move back and forth, and Draco smirks at the older man.

"Hannah Granger."

Hannah?!?!

She looks nothing like a fucking Hannah.

Draco moves in closer, so close that there is no point in Dolohov holding onto his robes anymore
as he peers down at him.
 "Wrong. She is the glue to the Golden Trio, the Brightest Witch of Our Age, the Gryffindor
Princess, the Golden Girl, the woman who survived my aunt, who rode a dragon, who fucking
survived you."

He grabs the hand twisted in his robes and presses between the joint hard with his thumb, hearing
something cracking under the pressure.

"She is Hermione Granger. And she is mine."

Chapter End Notes

TW!!! - Abuse throughout the chapter.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

I strive to be a writer true to her words, so here is the next update for you all!
Everyone give our precious Theo some love!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Like father like son.

Like father like son.

Like father like son.

Like father like…

"Do you hear me, Theo? I love you! I still love you. I understand. Truly I do. I'm going to be okay.
Please look at me, Theo, please, please."

The floo pops, and Draco runs in.

"I hit where it wouldn't be critical. Her nose and two fingers are broken. One of her pupils has
blown. That is the most severe item that needs to be treated." Theo doesn't recognize his voice.
Actually, he does, but he hasn't heard it sound like this in a long time.

He watches as his blood-covered, gashed, and bruised hands heal the wounds they had created.

Oh, the irony.

Oh, the irony of his fucking life.

And you thought healing was intimate…

The blonde next to him is shaking uncontrollably as he looks down at the girl again.

Theo hands him a Draught of Peace and starts working on her face.

Talk about deja vu...

She will need dittany, and maybe some murtlap. Should he use skele-gro before or after the
bruising deflation potion?
"Skele-gro or deflation first, what do you think?"

He turns to see the man next to him looking in a way he doesn't understand.

"Theo, are you okay?"

He feels the other man rest his hand on his shoulder and squeeze gently. Theo twitches out of the
contact. Feeling his skin wanting to explode with the touch.

"Fine. which one?" He asks again.

"Skele-gro, Theo… I… I don't know what to say. Fucking thank you doesn't seem right, but not
saying it…"

"No, no! We should. You should be thanking him! Trust me, I am sure it looked a lot worse than it
felt. Malfoy, calm down; I'm okay. That was so much better than the other spectacles."

He needs her to stop talking.

"Draco, make her stop talking."

"What?! Theo, no please listen to me, please don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. I understand. I
love you. I forgive you, so please, please forgive yourself, please just…"

Her voice is gone, and he feels his body relax. He looks up and sees her mouth still moving, but he
can't hear it anymore.

"Thanks."

She registers that he can no longer hear her, and even though she is bleeding everywhere and has
real bruises on most of her skin, she sits up and slaps the man next to him. Draco flinches, and
looks at her with defeat, but he still keeps the charm around Theo to give him the quiet he so
desperately needs.

Like father like son.

Like father like son.

Like father like son.

His eyes dart open to a dark room, but no air is making it into his lungs. No matter how much he
urges his mouth, and nose, and lungs to work, they can't; they don't. The invisible weight on his
chest won't allow it.

The rest of his body starts to panic. His limbs start shaking, his hands start trembling as he tries to
raise them, but they can't; they don't.

This is always what happened when his brain recognized his soul was already dead.
He had a selfish brain; it was determined to be the last to go.

He is happy he is in a room with only one window. It was easy to cover, making it almost
impossible for the light to slip in. The only way he knew the days were turning into nights was the
small sliver of light that would cascade onto the ceiling, and down to the floor beside the bed he
never left anymore. The bed he planned to stay in forever.

He doesn't want to be awake. He doesn't want to be aware. He just wants to sleep. He opens up a
vial, downs the potion, and places it on the nightstand, knocking over two of the six empty vials
already taking up the space.

Theo steps out of his room in need of another book and almost trips over the pot of burnt chocolate
that has a thick film covering the top.

He moves it over and continues his walk to the library, finally putting a dent into his tbr that had
been put on the back burner for the last month and a half.

A door opens in the hallway, and she walks out.

The marks his hands and feet had left all over her are gone, but he still can't look at her.

Like father like son.

"Theo..." Her voice breaks as she begins to cry. She is a very ugly crier. "Please, I love you. Please,
you are my friend. I can't… I can't just sit back and watch this happen to you. It's been over a week.
Please, please just look at me."

He started walking past her as soon as she had said his name, but the bloody brunette followed him
with the rest of her rant, and she wouldn't let up.

Where is the tall blonde when you need him?

The walk to his book is made longer due to her continuously trying to jump in his way, trying to
reach out and have her skin touch the skin that had broken her.

He will never let that happen again.

Now, he doesn't like physical touch for another wholly disturbing and different reason.

"Can I just sit with you and read? I promise I won't say a word. I won't even smoke and hold it the
way you hate so much. You won't even know I am there. Please, Theo."
She gets close to touching the hand that had blown her pupil with the second knuckle, and he jerks
it back. Like she is a disease. But she wasn't. He was. He was a disease that infected and rotted
everything he touched.

Never.

Never again.

He picks up the pace, basically running into the library, grabs the book he needs, and sprints back
out of the room. He magically shuts every door between him and her, before making it to his room,
and sealing it.

He raises his wand, places a silencing charm, and then falls to the floor and begins to count his
breaths.

Why are you still breathing?

What is the point?

It is never going to get better.

You know that.

It never can get better now.

Because you are the monster.

You are the mistake.

And you can't run away from you.

The blonde must have broken through his wards. That's the only reason he could be opening the
door right now.

He doesn't talk to him, thank fuck.

This wasn't the first time.

He places sheets of parchment down in front of him that are covered in grids and feminine
handwriting.

As soon as he shuts the door, Theo re-enforces his wards and crumples the parchment, throwing it
into the bin that is overflowing with similar sheets at this point.
"Listen, mate, you can go home. You have been covering for me for six days. Pans is back, so you
aren't needed here, okay? Don't give Flint more reason to cause us all hell. Go home."

"I can stay here. I..."

"No, not a fucking option. I know I kid with you all the time about watching us, but honestly, I am
realizing I am not a fan of the idea of having an audience. So you have been a royal cock block for
too damn long. Go home."

Nothing in him wants to go back, but as Blaise throws his suitcase out of the room and he hears
Pansy squeal, he picks it up and heads to the floo before Flint gets a hold of him again.

"Malfoy, we have to do something! Maybe we can hire a mind healer or…"

"Granger, he just needs space. And you are not going to be the one to help him. You can't."

"Then you need to! He won't get through this alone he…"

"He also won't work his shit out on your impatient schedule."

"Do you want another imprint of my sneaker on your face? Keep saying shit like that, Malfoy, and
you will get it. I swear to Merlin."

"Try Granger, I dare you."

"You, You insufferable, ferret, git of a man! I…"

THUD

Shit. He shut the door too loud.

Two heads pop into the open hallway at the other end.

"You're back."

He walks straight to his room and seals it.

Now he is happy that she covered all the mirrors with towels. He doesn't want to see himself either.
And since this is his first shower in a week, he knows the reflection would have been a good
indication of how he was on the inside.

Good. At least that is accurate.

He opens the door and finds her coming out of the kitchen. He thought she was asleep. He waited
until she and Draco had shut the door to come out.
She moves to get out of his way, advice he is sure Draco gave her. Because everything in her
character did not respect boundaries a whole lot. As she goes to move, he watches as she does a
double-take and then gasps.

"Theo… your… your body."

Shit.

He must have forgotten to put the disillusionment charm on today. He always kept a charm over
his body. His father had left too much evidence of his attacks and beatings that no potion, charm, or
herb could get rid of all of his scars.

He looks down and sees he is correct, as the darker lines and rough spots cover at least half of his
body. Most of the scars are from his younger years before he knew how to heal himself, and a
house elf would come and do the bare minimum for him.

He didn't want people to see what had been done to him. He didn't trust many people with that
information, and most people already didn't like him. Why give them another weird thing about
him to add to the lists of 'Why the Hell Is Theo Nott Jr. Still Living?'

She doesn't move. She just looks at him as her eyes become teary.

She cried a lot.

He takes a step to the right and walks back to his room.

He knocks this time. That was more respectful than the usual way of tearing through his wards,
giving him the time-consuming task of remaking them.

Theo waves his wand to unseal the door and silencing charm before he can.

"You're not like your father," Draco says as soon as he steps into his room.

For the first time in weeks, he feels something.

Something he has no desire to feel.

You deserve to feel all of this.

The blonde comes and slides under the bed, where he knows Theo is lying.

He barely fits.

Theo probably would have laughed at the sight of his massive body trying to crawl under a bed a
couple weeks ago. They aren't 14 anymore. It is a much different sight to behold.

"You and Granger with having your mental breakdowns on the damn floor." Draco lets out a grunt
as he bashes his shoulder on the bed frame, right below the poorly drawn carvings, before he
moves to lay down, looking up at the box spring above them.

"You're not like your father."

"I heard you the first time."

"Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know? You haven't said a damn word in weeks. And while
I honestly don't mind the lack of jokes you only find funny, and talk of Granger's arse, and your
fucking knickknacks, I can't hold her off much longer."

He continues to stare up at the bed frame.

Theo had spent a lot of time hiding under his bed growing up. Trying to hide from his father. He
used to laugh at the kids in his books who were afraid of the monsters under the bed. In his
experience, it was one of the only safe spaces from his monsters. Now though, he understood.

"Monsters do hide under beds," Theo whispers.

Draco doesn't say anything for a few minutes. They lay there like they have done so many times
before when existing became too hard for Theo.

He should just end it.

He thinks that way too much to be normal.

Having a monster always after him, he could live with, maybe.

But being a monster…

"I killed Lovegood."

Theo rolls his eyes. "I was there, Draco."

"I called her a Mudblood."

"I know, Draco."

"I made sure she saw the Weasel kissing Lavender."

"Not new information."

"Okay fucker, here's a new one for you. I would have beat her."

Theo blinks as he feels again.

You deserve to feel all of this.

"Okay," Theo says simply.

"Am I like your father?"

"No."

"Then how are you?"

He scoffs. "You would be even worse off than me right now, and you know it, Draco. I wouldn't
have been surprised if you tried to end it all."

Silence again. Merlin, he loves silence. He loves the safety in the nothing. No noise, no one
coming. No noise, no father. No noise, no screaming. No noise, no skin touching skin.

"Is that what you want to do, Theo?"

"Yes."

He probably would have, too, if the shithead next to him wouldn't have spelled him against
harming himself.

Draco turns to look at him."We have been here before."

Theo shakes his head. "Not like this. I am the monster now."

He hears Draco let out a long sigh and lift his hand up to his face. "No words can be said to fix this.
You and I both know that. We have had way too many fucking unfixable moments to know that it
will never really go away."

What a pep talk there, Draco.

"Couldn't agree more."

"But it has been better, different but better right?"

"I destroyed the better, Draco. I can't look at her. I can't be near her. I can't hear her fucking voice.
I just can't."

He is such a prick. Such a hypocrite. Theo knows more than anyone that he never plans on
surviving his attempt to save her. Maybe he should tell her. That would take the attention off of
him and his shit of a life he doesn't want anymore.

He meets Draco's eyes and glares."Like you're one to fucking talk. We both know the endgame
here, Draco. We both know your plans."

"Plans change."

Theo feels again. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"If there is any small chance of me having a future with her, I am going to fight for it. That's what
that means."
Don't Theo… don't say it…

Why? I'm a monster, remember?

"She still loves Ron, mate. Sure, in this little bubble of trauma you are getting all her attention, but
once she is free, she will go back to him. You know that."

Theo feels again. He feels like the monster he believes himself to be as the words spill out of him.
Theo was never naturally cruel. It had to be forced, almost planned to even be realistic. But he
knew this conversation was coming. It always came. And he wanted Draco to hurt.

He and his fucking obsession made him do it. He knew Draco couldn't live with himself if he laid a
hand on her. He knew it would break him apart, and possibly her as well. So he made the choice.
Not that it was much of a fucking choice in the first place. Draco had protected him so many times
in the last couple of years; it was time to return the favor.

"I would have hurt her, Theo. I have no fucking idea how and where to hit to cause the least
amount of damage like you. I would have destroyed her. You, you did what you could. Trust me. I
have had to do what I could for her for so fucking long… I understand the desire for it all to be
over. I understand being so tired and feeling so heavy with every damn breath. I understand giving
so much of yourself to others that you have nothing left. I fucking get it. So let's get it together,
okay? Like we always have done. I need my brother."

"What if your brother is gone?"

Neither of them speaks for a few moments.

"Whatever you are is enough for me, Theo. And whatever I can give to help is yours."

Theo blinks; no way did this prick come up with that. "Hermione told you to say that, didn't she?"

Draco laughs, and Theo feels his facial expressions twitch slightly.

"Don't tell her you didn't fall for it. If I have one more damn shoe thrown at me, she is going
barefoot for the rest of her life."

Theo feels his face twitch again, but with his next breath, it is all back. "I'm not better."

"I don't expect you to be."

"I don't think I can see her yet."

He says nothing to this. But makes to crawl out from under the bed.

"You don't have to see her to help me save her."

Theo squeezes his eyes shut at the words. He knew. The thought had been haunting him the last
few weeks. He hadn't bought any of the supplies they needed for the potion or even started brewing
it yet. He knows how to do it. He knows how to get her magic back, but he had been sitting on that
life-changing information to wallow in his silence.

"What are we going to do at the end of this month when we have to…"

Draco holds out a hand to stop him from speaking.

"Let me figure that out. You just get her magic back. Let me know what you need, and I will get it
for you."

Theo turns his body and starts to crawl out from his childhood safe space. When he stands, he dusts
off the front of his clothes and looks up at Draco.

"She misses you."

The words hit him. Making his skin feel on fire, just like contact.

"Not yet. Let me… let me do something first."

Draco nods his head and makes to leave, but reaches into the hallway and grabs a small porcelain
teacup that Theo purchased in France on a trip with the Malfoy family, placing it on the table next
to the door.

Then he shuts it.

Theo stares at the cup for a while before he walks over and drinks the whole thing in one gulp. It is
hours later before he realizes he had never warded his door or put the silencing charm back up.

Her screams wake him up. The feel of her skin against his skin, her blood making his arm hairs
stick together. It was painful to pull them off.

He jerks up and looks around to see it was just one of the usual nightmares from his memory bank.
Nothing more. He rubs at his eyes and thinks about starting on the list of ingredients he needs
Draco to get, when he hears a noise. He doesn't know what would make the noise that he hears.

Maybe a mouse? If there is a fucking mouse in my house, I am moving. That will be the final straw
for me.

He looks down onto the floor to spot the four-legged demon, and instead, sees a piece of
parchment almost all the way under his door.

What the hell?

He walks over and leans down to pick up the paper, turning it over.

Hi.
Hermione…

He stares at the two letters for a long time and then looks at the small shadow that keeps moving
anxiously underneath his door.

She will go. She will leave. Just give her a few minutes. He makes his way back to the bed, still
holding the piece of paper, and watches for the small shadow to disappear.

But it never does.

Is she going to sleep out there on the floor?

Well, Theo, hallway floor or bedroom floor, both are the same.

An hour goes by before he feels… he feels his anxiety start to surface as well. He can't just leave
her lying out there on the floor, waiting for him to write back. He has done enough to her.

The quill is in his hand before he really thinks about it.

Hey.

He begins to slide the paper underneath the door, but the shadow whips it out of his hand before
even half is under.

The parchment slides back under in a couple of seconds, and he looks down at it and feels…
horrified.

Malfoy broke something.

He should end this. He hates himself, remember? He shouldn't feel good things. The problem is, it
used to be much easier to not feel good things when you didn't have people actively trying to make
your life better and being there for you.

The evil witch.

What??
The grandfather clock in my room.

That absolute prick! Draco knows that grandfather clock once belonged to the famous wizard
author Douglas D. Riten who had based his iconic magical time changer, THE central item within
his 32 book series, on that exact clock.

Throw a shoe at him for me. Or 500.

I made him make a plaque.

Really?

Yeah, it states 'destroyed by Malfoy's morning demeanor' I hope that is satisfactory.

Perfect, thanks.

I miss you.

He sees the words before she has shoved the parchment all the way under the door, but it is quickly
drawn back to her side before he can grab it.

After a few seconds, she slides it back under.

Whoever you are now. I still want him in my life. In whatever way he will allow me.

He stares at the words for a long time. Draco had been right earlier when he said words don't fix
this type of pain, but she, with her words, and actions, and utter relentlessness. She made a person
feel special, even if they didn't believe they were. How can he be the monster he thinks he is with
someone like her caring for him?

I miss you too, Hermione.

 "It's nice owning a girl who knows how to cook, huh, Theo?"

He doesn't look up from the cauldron in front of him. He has to keep stirring counterclockwise 79
more times before he can take a break.

The female next to him tenses at Draco's words but doesn't bite as she looks back at the ingredient
list and instructions.

They all know she has the damn thing memorized, but she is obsessive with the details. He respects
that.

"Maybe after you are done brewing this potion, you will make me a sandwich while I smoke a
cigarette out on the balcony. What do you say, Granger?"

She still doesn't bite, but her face shows her anger bubbling to the surface, and her hands are
shaking slightly on the pages she is turning.

"I should get you an apron. With the words 'property of Draco Malfoy' on the front. Would you
like that? I think next time I'm at Diagon Alley, I will have it made. What color? Oh, green, of
course! I have always told you, you would look spectacular in green, maybe with frilly lace to…"

He catches the quill before it stabs into his flesh with a shit-eating grin across his face.

"Gotta be quicker than that, Granger. Merlin Theo, I love this little stipulation of yours. Granger
with her mouth shut, one of the rarest sights I will ever behold. It is so nice."

"You realize this is going to get her magic back, right? And when that happens, she may just hex
you to death, you git."

He sees the witch next to him smile as she turns the page.

She moves the book closer to him and points to the next set of instructions. He reads how he is
supposed to raise the temperature to a boil, place the fingly weed and frunder root in the brew, then
let it sit for 16 hours.

He nods his head at the page.

He still can't look at her for too long.

He still can't hear her voice, hence the no talking around Theo rule that Draco was abusing to no
end.

But he can be around her.

He can read in the same room as her. He can smile at her usually once a day. He even can smoke
with her out on the balcony.

That's progress, Theo boy…

Chapter End Notes

TW!!- Talk of self harm and suicide
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

An easier chapter.

It has been close to a month since the last spectacle. The Order had not retaliated in any way. The
gossip over what may have happened in France completely disappeared. And Malfoy and Theo
were back to being around more often, well, at least Malfoy was.

Over the last few days, Theo was venturing out of his room more. And yesterday, he had joined her
on the balcony for a silent cigarette. Her heart leaped from her chest this morning when he walked
into the kitchen for breakfast. He even gave her a quick smile before looking down at his plate.

He still hasn't spoken to her. And she doesn't speak at all when he is around.

His last words to her are still 'Mudblood.' She knows he is aware of that as well. She wants to
change that. She wants him to call her an evil witch, or ask for burnt chocolate, or yell at her for
having her hand too tight while holding a cigarette. She wants him to make horrible jokes, piss off
Malfoy, and tell her all about his antiquities.

She misses him.

Merlin, she misses him.

It takes her aback to think he had been in her life for only two months. She feels as close to him as
she felt with Harry and Ron. She guessed extreme moments make for some extreme connections.

But right now, he is standing next to her, helping her get her magic back, stirring the potion that
could possibly get them all out of this situation.

She hadn't been lying when she wrote that she wanted him in her life, in whatever way he would
allow it. So standing next to him, not looking at each other, not yet able to talk, as he stirs, is
enough for her. It is more than enough.

Even though she had proven herself an occlumens during last month's spectacle, Malfoy still only
told her small amounts of information.

He had given her a very distanced and broad overview of the Battle of Hogwarts after she
continued to nag.

She had been protecting Harry and Neville. Harry, who fell unconscious after dueling with the
Dark Lord, and Neville, who was attacked and almost killed by Nagini when he tried to stick the
sword of Gryffindor in the nasty snake.

Hagrid had picked up their two bodies as Kingsley ordered the retreat. She and Ginny were on their
way to the apparition point in the woods past the Black Lake when something must have gone
wrong.
Over the last two months, Theo worked on research to get her magic back and found a combination
he believed would work. She read through his notes and the tomes he had used for his research
while secluding himself the last month. She agreed with his findings. Relieved that it wasn't like
their Dark Marks. She has been unable to use magic for most of her life, so these last six months
weren't new to her in that realm. What was new was the fact that the ability had been taken from
her. Enough had been taken from her. She needed it back.

Malfoy still wouldn't share his plan for getting them out of this situation. Yes, it was them. Not her.
She would not be leaving without the two of them, which she had expressed to him on multiple
occasions to only receive a heavily occluded blonde in return.

The nightmares continued every night. She had even awoken a few times to find a twitching and
sweating Malfoy deep in his own hell as he slept. They all had them. He just had them silently,
unlike her.

Malfoy told her more information he knew about The Order, and she shared some of the
knowledge she had as well. She was fully aware of how outnumbered The Order was. How they
probably were not attacking due to using all their current resources to fight against the mass
genocide of muggles and muggle-born witches and wizards taking place in Europe. They needed
reinforcements. They needed help. They needed to cut the snake's head off.

Malfoy also provided her with a small radio to listen to updates The Order was trying to give
through Potterwatch

The other day, she was taking notes on the genocide and the statistical numbers that the broadcast
shared when she froze at the sound of his familiar voice.

"'Mione, if there is any way you are hearing this. Know we have not forgotten about you. Know
we are still fighting for you. Know that we still love you. Please don't give up. Please keep
fighting. Please wait for me. I'm coming. I promise."

She stared at the small box that became blurrier through her water-filled eyes.

Ron.

Ron.

Ron.

"He says that every day."

She blinked and turned around to see Malfoy leaning against the open door frame, looking down at
her with his guard up.

His face was calm and collected, but she had seen the silver in his eyes change as he looked at her.

He was feeling something, but he was trying not to show it.

She wiped away the single tear that traced down her cheek.

"Every day?"

The blonde nodded his head, but he stayed in the doorway.

She started to chew on her bottom lip. What else was she supposed to say? She felt the tension
between them the moment Ron was brought up. She knew the men despised each other. No,
despised wasn't a strong enough word for how they felt. Hate was more fitting.

She couldn't think of another person in the world Ron hated more than the blonde staring at her
right now. They had more altercations between the two of them than anyone else she knew, both
never missing the chance when one presented itself.

And the awkwardness she felt only increased as she realized she had done more intimate things
with Malfoy than with the man on the broadcast, saying that he loved her.

Well, was he really saying that he loved her? He said, 'we still love you.' That definitely wasn't the
same thing. It was just like all the other times he said the words at her, grouping them with others
that made it less than she had always longed for.

He would place her with Harry, or his family, or on some occasions, even with food. But those
words were never used for just her. Never.

So why did she feel guilt taking over her at the thought that she had done things with Malfoy?
Well, done one thing with Malfoy. Neither of them crossed that line again over the past couple of
weeks as they recovered physically and mentally from the spectacle. Haunted by the thoughts and
reality that they would have to endure it again, and try to be there for Theo in any way he allowed.

But that one time… She would be lying if she said she hadn't done it on her own again. Making it a
daily habit for the last week, if she was honest. Every time, she felt distance forming between
Dolohov and the act. Every time she felt stronger. Every time it felt good.

It was never even remotely close to that first time. She isn't sure if it was because of the time that
transpired between her last release or the fact that Malfoy was there, watching her, telling her to do
things with his addicting voice, saying things that made her feel on fire.

Yeah, the guilt was back, and it didn't make sense. She wasn't Ron's. She could have been,
possibly. She thought she would be for a long time, and she knew he knew that. Hell, everyone
knew, even Theo, who had been a hermit during school.

It was as if, even though he had never given his part to make what was between them something
real, she still felt obligated to him. That she had cheated on him… But that thought was absurd.
Absolutely ridiculous. He dated Lavender. He had literally pranced their sexual encounters in front
of her time and time again.

Maybe she feels guilty because the last time she had done something like this, he treated her
horribly. Ron ended their friendship for months because she admitted to kissing Viktor years ago.
He started saying nasty things about her, spreading rumors that the hat must have put her in the
wrong house because she was anything but loyal. All utterly ridiculous. All untrue. But it hurt, just
like when he started dating Lavender. And yes, while she had attacked him with birds at one point
for showboating his new girlfriend in front of her, knowing full well that she liked him, she never
called him unloyal or spread rumors about her.

And although she was hurt. Hurt in a way that she still felt when looking at him; she never thought
of it as him cheating on her. They weren't together. He could do what he wanted. So why couldn't
she?

"Has Harry ever…" Hermione asked as she turned off the radio.

Malfoy shook his head. "No. Rather than a couple rare sightings, no one has heard from him. It is
always the wart."

She rolled her eyes at his degrading name for Ronald.

He never seemed to run out of them.

"I see."

"Do you miss him?"

She was surprised by his question. She expected him to walk out. He never really asked follow-up
questions. But of course, the one time he did would be about Ron. The one topic she had no desire
to talk to him about.

"Of course I miss him. I miss all of them. Harry, Ginny, Ron, Neville, my parents. All of them."

They stared at each other for a long moment. It was not really an answer to his question. She knew
that, but it was all she was willing to give to him. She was still working out the complexities of her
emotions and trauma. She honestly didn't have an answer.

"So, you miss him… like family?"

She blinked as he asked her another question. What the hell? He never prodded like this. "I don't
want to talk about this, Malfoy."

"Why? It's a simple question, Granger."

"No, it isn't. Nothing between Ron and I is simple."

"So, you miss him in a different way than family?"

"Yes… and no. I… I don't know."

He didn't say anything back to that.

She looked up and met his gaze. Braving herself to ask the question that was tormenting her mind.
"Why do you care if I miss him or not?"

He scoffed and looked away. "I don't."

And then, he walked out of the room.

You really are a prick, Malfoy.

She is having the same thoughts at this exact moment, when the quill she throws does not sink into
his pale skin as he sits across from Theo and her, saying things that she plans to obliterate him for
later.

Misogynistic cockroach, an apron, really?

Theo, you are lucky I love you. Because not opening my mouth, and giving it to him, is one of the
hardest things I have ever had to do.

"What was the exact temperature again?" Tho asks.

She holds up the book to Theo, trying to keep as much distance between them. No talking and no
touching; she can work with that. She can understand that.

At least she thought she could until Malfoy started talking, then that fire in her needed to release.
Maybe that was another reason taking care of... herself was becoming a daily habit.

"Yes, I think the apron would look great on you. Maybe I will go and get you a brand new
wardrobe again too, but this time, have every piece monogrammed with my name on it so that
everyone will see. Can you imagine that, Granger? Written right across that arse of yours in big
bold letters 'Property of Draco Mal..."

"Okay, it's done. We have to let it sit for 16 hours. I'm going to leave so she can kill you now. I'll
see you guys tomorrow, well hopefully see you, Draco."

Hermione watches as Theo doesn't lift his head from the groun, walking out of the library and
down the hall.

She looks back at the blonde smirking at her, twirling her quill between his fingers, waiting for her
to explode at him for the horrendous things he said for the last two hours.

He wants to play…

Don't give him what he wants, Hermione.

Instead of staring at him, she starts walking out of the room, like he isn't worth her time. Like every
muscle in her body isn't taught with the desire to destroy him for the things he said.

"Wait, where are you going?"

She doesn't answer him as she enters the hallway. She hears his chair push back, and his footsteps
hurry behind her. A small smile forms on her face.

"Granger, wait. Don't you have anything to say to me?"

She opens up the door to her room and walks into the lavatory to wash the ingredients for the
potion off of her hands, trying to walk with an heir of nonchalance that she hopes will burn him.

It does.

"Granger, I am talking to you." He grinds out.

She releases an unamused sigh and slumps her shoulders at his words. "What do you want,
Malfoy?"

"What do I want? I want you to fucking look at me when I am talking to you."

Oh, he is mad…

And you love it.

She looks at him and sees the anger written all over his face at her ignoring him. He did not like to
be ignored. He didn't mind when she was fiery, aggressive, physical, or angry, but he hated when
she was indifferent to him. When she acted like he wasn't even there.

Knowing this, and having all of the horrible things he said to her all day at the forefront of her
mind, she practices her face into boredom.

"Yes?"

He glares. "You have nothing to say back to me?"

"No."

"And why the fuck not?"

She shrugs her shoulders and grabs a hand towel to dry off her hands. "I don't care enough to
respond. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

She tries to walk past him, but before she can do anything, his hands grab her arms and push her
into the bathroom wall.

He doesn't push her hard, but he does hold her high enough. Her feet are no longer on the floor, so
his eyes look directly into hers, his face only inches away from her own. She feels his hard, solid
body press her into the wall, and she can't help the small gasp that escapes between her lips at the
contact.

At the noise, she watches Malfoy's face freeze, and then, transform into shock. He quickly lets go
of her and backs up all the way to the other side of the bathroom.

Hermione looks at him, confused. Why is he backing up? Did she do something wrong? Why is he
looking at her like that, like he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore?

"I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He whispers.

She feels her eyebrows pull together at his words. "Why?"

He runs his hand over his face and into his bright blonde hair, the look of devastation never
leaving him. "I shouldn't be… handling you like that after… I'm just sorry, okay? It won't happen
again."

Oh, this is because of what she has been through. He doesn't think he should handle her in a
physical way because of her past. That is a legitimate conclusion, she thinks. Yes, one she should
agree with, right? She shouldn't like him being aggressive with her after everything.

Then why do you?

Why was that gasp one of pleasure and not pain?

You shouldn't like it.

Is it normal to like it?

If I hadn't gone through what I had, would I still like it?

Or is this the trauma talking again?

"I liked it."

She watches as he mirrors a face of shock she knows hers is also turning into as the words slip
from her mouth.

"Oh."

That is all he says. He doesn't look like he is breathing anymore as he stares at her. She feels her
skin getting warmer from embarrassment, and something else, as she continues to stand there in the
new reality she has created with her words.

"Is that… Is that normal?" She asks.

"What?"

She unlocks their eyes and stares down at her feet, becoming self-conscious at her ignorance with
this subject. She doesn't like not knowing things.

I know… surprise…

But she really doesn't. She loves knowledge, and not for the sake of knowing to feel superior, but
for the sake of the awareness, the control she feels with it safely in her mind.

She felt prepared. It was a lie, though. All the knowledge hadn't helped her be prepared for what
lay ahead of her. Nothing could.

She hates that even after spending six months being used in every way imaginable, she still feels
utterly at a loss when it comes to the subject of physicality and sexuality. Those are two subjects
she had read about, of course, but the true knowledge came by actions, came with experience. And
her experience in those areas is anything but healthy.

"Is it normal for people to like… what you just did to me?" She watches as he becomes
uncomfortable, and it makes her self-consciousness take over. "Nevermind, I shouldn't have asked
that. I'm sorry, just forget it."

She turns to leave the bathroom and walks into the closet, grabbing one of his t-shirts and a pair of
shorts to sleep in.

She is reaching down for the shorts when she jumps at his voice behind her. "Can you clarify what
you are asking?"
She turns toward him as he stands in the doorway, looking at her in a way she doesn't understand.
He seems guarded again.

Was her question confusing? Should she repeat herself? Should she even be talking about this? But
she wants to know. She is so sick of second-guessing herself.

"I just… I liked it. And I don't know if that is normal. Is it normal to… to enjoy moments like that?
Or do I respond that way because… well because…"

She can't finish the sentence, but she is sure he gets what she is trying to say. Does she like his
aggression in a sexual way because of what she went through? That is what she wants to say, but
she finds she can't. Saying that to him was too raw even for her.

"I don't know. Did you enjoy moments like that before?"

"How would I know? I never had any before."

She feels her awkwardness turning into anger inside her. This is Dolohov's fault. He had fucked her
in more ways than one. Her body, her mind, her soul, he fucked them all. And even now that she is
away from him, he still holds power over her, and she hates that. She hates that some horrible
twisted man holds any power over her. How dare he?

"Do you?" She asks and takes a step toward him.

"Do I what?"

"Enjoy being like that? You know, aggressive?"

She watches as he looks down at his feet and places his hand in his pockets.

"Yes, probably more than I should."

She blinks, taken aback a bit by his honesty.

"Do… do women tend to like it when you do things like that to them?"

His head shoots up at the question. Had she gone too far? Shown too much? She is pretty sure he is
attracted to her, and she knows she is attracted to him. And she knows he is very open about sexual
matters.

"Are you asking if other women enjoy when men are assertive with them?"

She nods her head. Wasn't that obvious? Maybe it is so taboo to enjoy these types of things, so
abnormal, that the idea of it shook him.

Great… How am I ever supposed to get over this…

He'll be with you always, pet.

She physically cringes as the thought, and the other her, crosses her mind.

"Yes, Granger, many other women enjoy a bit of aggression. As long as there is some trust built."
Now it is her turn for her head to shoot up. "Wait, so it is normal? It's not… I'm not fucked up in
that way?"

She watches as his face changes to a softer look, and he steps forward, maybe just now realizing
the internal battle going on inside her. What she was really trying to learn with this conversation.

"No. You aren't fucked up." He stands directly in front of her, reaches up with both hands, and rubs
her upper arms. "Granger, you should like whatever the fuck you want to like. Never apologize for
what you enjoy."

She looks down at his intense words. It was all so confusing for her. What does she enjoy? She
honestly has no idea. She knows she enjoyed what they had done, well, what she had done with
him beside her a couple of weeks ago. She knows she likes the way his voice affects her. She
knows she likes what he tells her to do.

And that is the total of what she knows. What she knows even about herself in that department. She
knew what Dolohov liked. She knew how to make him happy. But she has no idea how to make
herself happy, what she actually enjoys. Sex had never been about her. She honestly never even felt
like a true part of the act, more so just a means to an end.

"Show me."

She looks up at him to find his eyes widening and his mouth opening slightly.

"What?"

She braves herself and reaches up with one of her hands, placing it on the cheek she had kissed in a
moment of vulnerability weeks ago. Maybe he will help her? Why not? He was the one to tell her
to do what she wants, right? Well, she wants to learn what she likes. She wants to take that all away
from him and have it for herself.

"I want to do something selfish."

The side of his mouth raises as he continues to move his hands up and down her arms.

"Well then, whatever it is, I'm on board, Granger."

She feels a smile form on her face. He told her a while ago that he wanted to see her body. Yeah,
she had been drunk, maybe even wasted (she would never agree out loud that she was), but she
remembers him stating seeing her body would make everything they were going through worth it.

That means he was physically attracted to her, right?

I mean, it seems pretty clear to her. And her body and mind agree that he is very handsome. And he
cares about her, and she cares about him. And she trusts him.

Maybe he will help her. He did an excellent job before. She would grade it a solid O in her book.
And he knows what he is doing. And he knows what she has been through, probably better than
anyone else. He is the safest option to explore this with and damn it, she wants to gain that
knowledge and power back.

"I want to learn what I like. Will you help me? Like you did before?"

The smirk disappears from his face, and his hands stop moving on her arms.
"What?"

She traces her thumb against his jawline and takes a step closer to him, almost brushing their chests
against one another.

"Show me. Show me what I like."

She places her hand on his other cheek and begins to lean forward. She knows she will have to
make the first move. He will never do it first after apologizing for what he did earlier. He will
never take something from her without asking. He knows that has been done too many times
before.

She moves in slowly, giving him plenty of time to back up and withdraw. His eyes widen as they
follow hers until she is so close she can no longer see them, and she feels his breaths against her
lips, so close...

"You and the Weasel kissed."

She pauses, not really hearing the words for a long time, before pulling back and letting them sink
in.

Me and Ron…

No… no we haven't.

I know for certain I would remember…

Oh shit.

She takes another step back as she is processing his words.

"How do you know this?" She asks.

"I saw you during the Battle of Hogwarts. You kissed."

She closes her eyes and brings her hands up to her head. Trying to think what that could mean. Had
she kissed him, or had he kissed her? What was said beforehand? Did they become official
afterward? Did he tell her he loved her? Did she enjoy it? Or was it been awkward? Did he enjoy
it? Does she have a boyfriend? Did… Has she cheated on him?

The questions are endless, and she feels a headache coming on as they all collide and overlap in her
mind.

"Granger, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" She releases her head and stomps at the ground, looking at him with fury.
"You tell me this now?! You wait to tell me this? Why didn't you tell me before? Who are you to
hold that kind of life-changing information from me!?"

Where are all my fucking shoes?

The prick must have hidden them.

"So it is life-changing information, huh? And I couldn't tell you until recently. Your mind wasn't
safe, Granger! And how the hell was I supposed to know the fucking idiot had never made a move
on you before? To know that was your first and only kiss with the wanker? Which is truly the
saddest and most pathetic part of all of this. Trust me, you should be glad you don't remember it. I
wish I didn't."

The close proximity between them has changed quickly from heated for one reason to another as
they glare at each other, neither willing to back down.

Fine. Let's play, Malfoy.

"Don't try to pull that shit with me, Malfoy! You omitted that information on purpose. I am angry
for a perfectly good reason!"

"I told you now, didn't I? I told you when it mattered because you deserved to know before..."

"I deserved to know a long time ago! Not when it was convenient for you to get out of a situation
you didn't want to be in."

Her back hits the wall of the closet before she realizes he has been stalking toward her. He is
looking down at her with an anger that makes that fire in her spark.

"You think I told you so you wouldn't put those lips of yours on me? That is what you fucking
think?"

He is seething. The words are barely making it through his clenched teeth as he looks down at her.
She watches the silver in his eyes flash, and she looks straight at him, not cowering in the slightest
and balling her fists at her sides. She opens her mouth to begin the anger formulated rant she was
ready to lay into him, but that solid weight presses against her again, and those arms are now
caging her in at her sides. And once more, instead of being terrified, she feels that fire in her drop
lower in her stomach.

"I told you because yes, you had the right to fucking know, especially before doing what you were
about to do. Even though you putting those edible lips on me would be a situation I would be fine
being stuck in for the foreseeable future. I thought you two had definitely shagged until a few
weeks ago when you told me otherwise. Why in Merlin's name did it take him so fucking long to
give you a measly Weasley kiss? And such a romantic he must be, to decide to do it in a sewer,
covered in shit and who knows what else, and doing it in the middle of a fucking battle where
every second mattered for you, and..."

"He kissed me?"

She sees the man, plastering her to the wall behind her, deflate a little at her words.

"Merlin fuck my life. The fact that I am the fucking one…" He squeezes his eyes shut and looks a
bit ill before releasing a breath and continuing. "No, you both kissed each other if that is what you
want to call it."
"So, it wasn't a good kiss then?"

"No, it was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life."

She rolls her eyes at him, even though he can't see her as he is looking up at the ceiling.

"That seems a bit dramatic." She says.

"No, it is accurate. On the list of worst things I have witnessed, that wanker putting his wet with
shit lips on you, is, and always will be, number one."

"Didn't you watch someone get eaten by a snake?"

"That is number 3."

She isn't able to stop the inappropriate giggle that escapes her lips. His head jerks down at the
noise, and the side of his mouth raises.

"Did… could you hear us saying anything to each other?"

The amusement on his face disappears. "You both didn't say anything. Not before or after."

Well, that sounds about right with how things always went with Ronald. Never clarifying or clear.

She sighs. "So we just had a quick kiss, and then nothing else?"

"Nothing about it was quick."

"So we did more than…"

"Fuck no!" His face scrunches in disgust. "I mean, yes, it was just a kiss. Your hand went up to his
ugly face, his went to hold your waist, and you kissed for 5 seconds. Then... pulled away, smiled,
and ran up the stairs."

She blinks and tries to see into his eyes. That is a lot of specific information. He was always so
exact with time and numbers.

"You really hate him, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Why? I understand not getting along with him, or his personality isn't your cup of tea, but hate
seems a bit extreme. What has he ever done to make you hate him?"

At her words, he maneuvers his head to the side so he can look at her. "He has done plenty. Trust
me."

So she and Ron finally kissed, and she didn't remember it. There really couldn't have been much
else that happened. She was captured by Dolohov within the hour. Why was Malfoy there, though?

"Why were you there?"

The body against hers tightens, and his eyes look away from her again.

"There was a battle going on, Granger. People were everywhere. I just happened to be the
unluckiest bastard in the world and stumbled upon one of the ugliest scenes taking place."
She rolls her eyes again and hits him in the chest. Somehow he has the ability to rile her up and
also calm the environment so easily with his words.

They stand there for a few minutes as her mind continues to overthink and jump from thought to
thought.

She decides, in the end, it really wasn't life-changing information like she expressed before. Maybe
she can be a little dramatic sometimes too. So they kissed for 5 seconds and then never talked
about it or said anything to each other to clarify what had just happened. She had done more with
Viktor after the Yule Ball, and she really didn't count that as an actual sexual experience or a
relationship. So how can she count this?

Yes, she had eight years of little moments with Ronald leading up to that kiss, but she thinks it
should be clearer right? After that long, shouldn't it all just, make sense for them? Nothing ever
made sense between them. Nothing was ever easy or clear. And her inability to remember isn't
helpful. She knows Malfoy isn't lying about the kiss, but it doesn't feel real to her. It doesn't hit as
an actual reality. It feels more like just words. Way less powerful.

"I'm sorry. You were right. I should have told you earlier."

She feels the hands caging her in, drop to her forearms once again, and start rubbing up and down.
She looks up and sees the sincerity on his face.

"Yes, you should have. But I forgive you. I understand there is probably a lot of information to
catch me up on still, and I'm sure it is hard to remember what I do and don't know. But Malfoy,
you have to start telling me things. Secrets won't help me."

His eyebrows shoot up, and he smirks. "You forgive too easily."

She starts to shake her head, but she is forced to stop as his forehead meets hers and pushes it
against the wall.

"That is for me to decide." She whispers.

"Yes, it is. And I will always gratefully accept it."

"So I am going to need to forgive you again?"

She sees a smile creep up his face.

"That I can guarantee."

"What do I get in return for being so amicable?"

He presses his forehead harder against hers, and he lets out a deep breath that cascades around her
face, making another one of the horrendously embarrassing noises leave her.

"Granger, you can have anything you want from me."

She feels the fire that had dulled over the course of their conversation light again, this time, down
in her abdomen. Goosebumps begin to appear on her arms, even though he hasn't even touched
them.

Well, I am learning the way he talks is definitely something I like…

Can she still ask him to help her? Why is it something she desperately still wants to do after what
he just told her about Ron? Shouldn't that have changed the hot fire-filled feelings that overtake her
when he is close? Why doesn't it?

Be selfish, Hermione.

"Granger?"

She opens her eyes and sees that intense look back on his face. It is still so close.

"Yeah?"

"Stop thinking."

She bites her lower lip. "I don't know if that's a good idea at the moment."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid of what I might do."

"Do it."

She feels her cheeks get hot and looks away from those piercing silver eyes.

"What do you want to do, Granger?"

What does she want to do? Everything. She wants to experience it all for herself, when she wants,
with who she wants. And right now, she wants Malfoy.

You have always secretly... No. Stop. That's a dangerous thought, Granger.

"I want you to show me, help me learn what I like."

His breath hitches. "And knowing you and the Weas…"

"Ron isn't here."

That might be one of the most selfish things she has ever said. It might be one of the worst things
to ever leave her mouth, to be honest. But while one part of her is disappointed, the other part,
which is much louder, congratulates her on being honest. On for once, letting her instincts and
conscience match up. She wants to do this. Why shouldn't she?

She watches as a genuine smile takes over his face, and he pulls back to look her in the eyes. "What
do you want to learn?"

He moves his head to the side and places it right at the cup of her neck, letting her feel his breath
over the bare skin.
"I... I don't know. Can… Can you teach me? Like before?"

She feels his hands grab around her waist as he pushes himself onto her, making it hard to breathe.
She raises her hands to the back of his neck and lets them travel into his hair.

"You're sure?" He is pulling away from her, but she keeps her hand on his neck as he looks into her
eyes.

She nods her head and smiles. "Yes, I'm sure, maybe, maybe teach me slowly?"

He lets out a humorless laugh before pulling her off the wall and into his body.

"Oh, Granger, I plan on taking my time."

His lips are on hers before she even sees them coming. They press hard against her own, and she
feels the fire in her take over. Like the rest of his skin, his lips are cool and refreshing.

They feel so good and meld together with her own in a way that fits, makes sense, just is utterly
and absolutely right.

He tilts her head back farther by pressing harder and pulls her bottom lip into his mouth. The
movement makes her instinctively open for him with a gasp at the electrifying feeling.

Malfoy takes advantage of the moment and slips his tongue into her open mouth, working with
utter confidence and experience that leaves her feeling like putty in his hands. His mouth tastes like
mint too. An earthy, cool mint that takes over her senses. She feels weightless as his tongue plays
with her own and consumes her.

Another involuntary noise tries to leave her mouth through their tongues and interlocked lips. She
tries to pull it back as it is happening and squeezes her eyes shut out of mortification.

Malfoy pulls his tongue out of her mouth and takes his lips off her. They are hovering right in front
of her own, and she moves to bring them together again, needing to feel them against her like she
needed to breathe, but he holds her captive, keeping them apart.

"Granger, I want to hear every pretty noise leave that mouth of yours. Don't ever hold them back,
do you understand?"

She starts nodding her head back at him with her eyes still closed. She will agree to anything,
seriously anything, to get those lips back on her.

"Good girl."

Her head is still nodding as he crashes into hers. This time, pressing his lips with a force that
pushes her back against the wall. His lips move and connect; his tongue circles and licks; his teeth
skim and bite, and she feels hers doing the same.

Her hands wrap around his neck, pulling her even closer as he continues to kiss like he is starving
for her taste. Like she is the most delicious thing he has ever had on his lips before.

She grabs at his beautiful blond hair and starts to pull and scrape. His mouth leaves hers, and she is
about to literally growl at him in disappointment until she feels them working against her neck,
running up and down, leaving goosebumps all over her skin.

When his tongue darts out and he lightly bites the area right below her ear, she lets out a sound she
has never heard before, and she can feel his smile, and her knickers become soaked.

Okay, I like that spot being touched very much.

His hands are touching her everywhere as his mouth continues to work on her neck and jaw. She
finds herself doing the same as she slips her hand underneath his shirt and touches the cool skin of
the chest she had ogled over for weeks now. It is so hard, and firm, and different from her own
skin or any other skin she has felt. She likes it. She finds she can't get enough of it, and something
in her decides to have the courage to take control a little bit as she grabs the hem of the shirt,
pulling it up. She needs to touch him. Touch all of him. Now.

He pulls off of her neck to allow her to lift his shirt over his head. He tries to move forward again,
but she holds out a hand in front of her, stopping him.

He is beautiful. He would probably hate it if she told him that, so she keeps it to herself as she
takes in his body for the first time without needing to make it quick. She takes it all in. She was
right the first time; he is a work of art.

"Breathtaking."

She hears herself whisper the word, and she sees his face go from filled with lust, to something
different that she can't place.

Hermione takes a couple steps forward and places her hands on his chest, exploring the cool skin
marked with so many moments. He lets her. Her hands move and map every inch of the exposed
skin, reveling in the fire that it builds inside her, as she feels it against her fingertips.

She sees his hands come up to her shirt and start unbuttoning.

"Is this okay?" He asks.

She watches his hands work the second, then the third, mesmerized by the way his fingers move.
Wondering how they can make her feel so much without even touching her yet.

"Granger?"

"Yes… Yes, keep going. I'll… I'll tell you if I need you to stop."

At the final button, he pushes the blouse off of her shoulders, and she can't look up as he takes her
in.

This was much easier drunk.

Maybe I should ask him to turn off the lights?

"Can… can you turn off the…"

"Fuck no."
She looks up at him quickly at his harsh words and is taken aback by the look he is giving her. It
isn't mad or cruel like she thought it might be. It is dark, like a hunger, or want, or longing. And he
is looking at her that way. Her.

She tries to stand still as his eyes brand her at the intensity he continues. She moves her hands up to
hide the parts of her she was most self-conscious about that her bra was not covering, but before
she can, he grabs ahold of both of her arms and holds them out, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Don't you dare. This is a big moment."

She barely hears him, and she doesn't really understand what he means. Was he mocking her? She
knows he has seen plenty of half-naked women in his life. At least 5 just during Hogwarts,
according to the girls. And Hermione knows she isn't a 10. She wasn't a 5 either, maybe a 7? Yes, a
7 seemed fair on the physicality scale. And he was a solid 10. Not too many women or men would
disagree either.

"Don't mock me, Malfoy. I…"

"Lesson 1, don't yell at a man for admiring you. Lesson 2, don't ever fucking hide a single piece of
you, Granger. You don't hide. You don't cower."

His arms pull her in, and her abdomen fills with that familiar warmth as her skin touches his. Her
skin has never touched his skin here before. She finds she really likes it. She buries her face into
his chest, but instead of breathing him in, like she tended to do, she presses her lips against him and
starts trailing them across his chest. He tastes like mint here too. Cool and refreshing and utterly
addictive. Her tongue starts to taste him, moving from one side to the other, and she feels his
breath become ragged at her movements and sees the goosebumps appear on his pale skin. His
hand works into her hair, and the bottom of her neck as his other begins to explore her back.

She starts to kiss up toward his neck and brings it down to her with her hand to give her better
access. The taste of him is stronger here, and those noises he seems to like keep escaping as she
tastes more and more of him. As she reaches his collarbone and sucks hard at the area, she hears
him groan, and the hand threaded through her hair pulls her head up to his face, and he presses his
lips to hers once again.

She continues to explore his chest and back, loving the way his muscles move and flex as he
continues to kiss her.

His hands move from her back to her front, and she feels them tremor slightly as they squeeze her
breasts.

"Merlin fuck, I can't believe this is happening."

He says it through the wrath he is putting on her lips that she matches with each tilt.

His hands start to circle and press her breasts like he had instructed her to do, and as his finger
glides over her puckered nipple, she can't help the squeal she lets loose.

He smirks. "Lesson 3, you have sensitive breasts."

"I knew that."

They say into each other's mouths, never stopping their attack.

Her hands are back in his hair, pulling harder this time, and one of his hands leaves her breast to
grab hers and yank her head back. At the new angle, his tongue dives deeper into her mouth, and
she feels the moan vibrate her cheeks and his tongue.

"Lesson 4, you like french kissing."

She nods her head in agreement, needing his tongue back in her mouth. She is convinced
something horrible will happen if it isn't within the next couple of seconds. He obliges and dives
back in. His hands lower to her pants, and she feels those adept fingers unbutton and start on the
zipper.

"Is this okay?"

This time she does legitimately growl at him.

"Malfoy, I told you, I will tell you if…"

He doesn't let her finish, as he yanks her pants off her legs, and then hoists her by her thighs up
against his chest. She places her legs around his waist as he takes them to the floor carefully.

He lays his weight on top of her slowly and starts to kiss her in a different way than before. This
time, his lips graze hers, moving from her nose, to her eyes, to her temples, while his hands carress
slowly along the sides of her body, taking her all in.

The fire starts to consume her limbs as he works against her slowly, and when she feels how much
he is enjoying this as well, she wants to explode. No, needs to.

"Malfoy, please…"

He pauses his lips as they graze hers, and she opens her eyes to see him staring back at her.

"Again, Granger."

"Please, Malfoy please."

"What do you want, be specific."

Oh god's, there he goes with the words that set you ablaze…

"Please touch me, please help me, please teach me how to come, Malfoy."

She watches as a smirk plays across his swollen lips. Lips she has swollen. "Lesson 5, we both like
dirty talk and begging."

Dirty talk. That makes sense. Yes, I most definitely like that.

She nods her head in agreement as she pulls his face back down to start devouring him again.

His hand lifts her off the ground and starts to work on her bra clasp.
Malfoy is about to see you topless.

He… He's going to put his mouth on them.

Do the things he is doing to your mouth to them.

He is going…

Wait, he is going to see them.

He is going to where Mas...

Wait…

No…

"Stop!"

His whole body freezes above her as his hands stop and go to the ground. She closes her eyes and
tries to stop the tears from forming.

He almost saw.

He almost saw.

"Granger, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, what did I do?"

I hate this.

I hate him.

She rolls over as one of the tears escapes her eye, trying to hide the evidence, but he turns her back
over. Both of his hands come up to cup her face as she loses control.

"What happened? Talk to me, please."

How can she tell him? How can she form all the thoughts, and fears, and feelings into words? She
knows a lot of words, but she can't find any that tell him what she is feeling at that moment, why
she stopped such an amazing thing from continuing.

"If I am going to be naked, the lights have to be off. That's non-negotiable."

Her voice is trembling uncontrollably as she speaks.

"Okay, okay, Granger. But what did I do?"

She starts to shake her head as he wipes the tears off her face and pulls her into his lap.

"You didn't do anything. I am not mad at you, I promise. It… what we just did… it was amazing. I
just… I need the lights off, that's all. Next time, can we turn the lights off?"

"You want there to be a next time?"

"Of course!"

She moves her head off of his chest to devastation written across his face. He thinks he did
something wrong. No, he can't think that, not after the way he just made her feel.

"Malfoy, I enjoyed every second of that. You hear me? That was truly amazing. And I definitely
want to do it again if you do. I just have a bit of a learning curve we will have to work through. If
you want to, of course."

She watches as he looks between her eyes, trying to see if she is lying or hiding something from
him. His face becomes softer, and a smile forms as he nods his head and brings it down for their
foreheads to rest against each other.

"Anything you want from me Granger, it's yours."

He picks up his head and gently kisses her on the forehead before wrapping his arms around her,
pulling her in tightly the way she likes.

They lay together on the floor of the closet for a few long minutes as the fear leaves her body, and
he continues to lightly stroke her upper arms.

"So, that was much better than the other kiss you saw me take part in?"

He laughs as he rests his chin on the top of her head.

"Yes, much better. You were never the negative factor in the equation."
 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He wakes to a sleeping Granger in his arms. For a moment, he thinks he is dreaming until he recalls
her curling into him hours ago after battling another nightmare.

It was a new one. At least a new one to him. He had no idea why she hated the sound of thunder so
much, until last night.

He shared every creative way in which he would kill the fucker, and for some reason, his witch
indulged in every sick and twisted fantasy.

He thought after sharing how they could place flesh-eating bugs into dirt and encase him up to his
neck and let them feast on him for a couple of weeks, she would have told him to stop, or at least
shake her head at his depravity. Instead, the Golden Girl asked him where they would find these
flesh-eating bugs.

She seriously keeps getting better and better.

He thought he knew her before. He held every piece of information about her so close, that he
believed himself to be an expert on the girl in his arms. After watching her so closely for years, he
thought she couldn't surprise him anymore. But she continued to prove him wrong every day she
was with them these past months.

Last night being the biggest and best surprise of all. He still was struggling to believe it actually
happened. But as he looks down and sees the small mark on her neck, with a similar one on his
collarbone from her, he knows it is real.

No way in hell am I covering this one.

Apparently, he is supposed to be teaching her, helping her learn what she likes and dislikes, but
what she doesn't know is that she is actually teaching him. Answering so many questions that have
filled his mind for years.

Was she noisy? Hell yes. She made the absolute most delectable pretty noises he had ever heard.
Parkinson had been a performer, loud and obnoxious. Another girl he had been with was the same.
The other three were quiet fucks, and he really didn't like that either. He knew he was good at sex,
but he liked their bodies to remind him of that during the act. And the other one was a one-night
stand that was so dull he can't even remember the specifics.

Granger wasn't loud or quiet. She was perfect. Her noises were real, and reactionary, and made him
feel like he was doing everything right.

Would she be timid or adventurous? That answer became clear as she took some control and started
stripping him and running her glorious mouth all over his chest out of her own pure desire.

Yes, there were a couple of moments where she held back, but that was quickly rectified after
receiving assurance from him. He knew the witch loved being praised. He would have to throw in
more of that next time.

Because she said there is going to be a next time.

You lucky bastard.

Would she be all sweet or fiery? Oh my gods, both. Both in such beautiful and arousing harmony.
Saying things like he was breathtaking one moment, and then asking him to 'teach her how to
come' the next.

Fuck he is getting hard just thinking about it.

He feels her body twitch slightly in his arms, and she lets out a sleepy sigh.

Maybe he should wake her before she has a chance to wake up on her own? He really didn't want
her to switch or have a memory take over like it had in the past.

She seemed to really like him talking to her. Even that first time she woke up from almost dying
when Theo first found her, she had responded positively for a while to him talking to her.

He knows she responds incredibly to talking during intimate moments as well. Maybe he should
try that. Maybe that would help her wake up clearer.

"Granger, I know you aren't awake yet, but you told me you liked listening to me once. I really
didn't believe you then, but I have thought of some things I would like to tell you. I am going to
share them because right now, my arms have you trapped, so you have to listen to my insufferable
and tactless monologues. Sound good to you, Granger?"

He pauses, but the beautiful brunette doesn't even flinch. He starts to caress her upper arm as he
looks at her.

"I honestly may buy you that apron. And if I do, it will say 'property of Draco Malfoy' on it. And I
will expect you to wear it at least a couple of times. Monogrammed items are not cheap, Granger.
My mother monogrammed everything. I think that's why I like it. Growing up, my name was on
everything that belonged to me. Slippers, quills, towels, brooms, seriously, even my socks had
D.L.M stitched into them. I believe Potter gave one of them to that old house elf of ours he freed.
Did you know it had to be a piece of clothing that belonged to the owners of the house elf? Not
many people know that. Somehow Potter did and came tramping into the dungeons and stole one
of my socks. So you're welcome for that. There would have been no sock for Potter to free him
with if I was any good at putting my laundry away as a kid, so I take partial credit for that. I could
probably be a member of that organization you tried to start up. What was it called again? S.P.I.T
no S.P.E.W, yes, that's right. After all this, I expect a pin, Granger. You better still have some in
that house you call a bag you carried everywhere."

"His name was Dobby."

He looks down and sees her lift her head, but her wild brown curls cover her face, and he smiles as
he watches her try to blow them away since her arms are trapped by his. She is unsuccessful, and
after a huff of irritation, he finally raises a hand and moves the mounds of milk chocolate to see
those golden eyes wide awake looking at him.
"I know his name. Good morning, Granger."

"You do? And good morning, Malfoy."

He places his head up with one of his arms to get a better view of her.

She was beautiful all the time, but he adored how she looked in the morning. He had made a habit
of waking up before her and pulling that damn sheet down farther to watch her sleep. Her face
somehow became plumper in the cheeks, giving her an innocent, gentle look. Her mouth was
always slightly open with tiny breaths coming through. And her eyes darted back and forth under
her eyelids, giving him the impression that the genius witch's mind really never stopped, not even
in sleep.

Right now, those cheeks are still plump, her eyes are golden yet glazy with sleep, and her hair is a
mess. He could admit that it was an acquired taste, her hair. And he wanted to acquire all of it. He
would be fine if he woke up one day and was being strangled to death by the crazy strands. That
would be a good way to go, he thinks. If he had to choose, that would probably be it.

But his favorite part about morning Granger was her voice. It was so whispery and sultry at the
same time that the sound gave him goosebumps as it felt like silk against his skin.

Merlin, keep talking, Granger. Never stop talking.

"Of course I do. I actually really liked him. A lot more than Bitsy, who was downright terrifying.
And Mopsy, who wasn't opposed to beating me when I stole food from my own damn kitchen."

He watches as she smiles and places a hand between her chin and his chest.

"He was a very special elf, wasn't he?"

Draco nods. "Yes, we all owe him a lot."

They lay in silence at all the memories that come up with those words. They had never talked
about that night directly. He was sure they were on the same page that it was one of the worst
nights of their lives, so what more was there to say?

"Thank you for talking to wake me up. I don't know how long you told me stories, but it was very
nice and grounding. It is becoming much easier not to hear the other her in my head, but mornings
are always the hardest, so thank you."

Before he thinks, he pulls her up closer and kisses her on the forehead. Her skin is always so
warm.

Her body is the complete opposite of his in every way. Where he was cold, she was warm. Where
he was pale, she was golden. Where he was hard, she was soft. And then, of course, there were her
amazing breasts, arse, and all the other delightful curves he wanted to sink his teeth into that
weren't anything like his body.

"So… I think we should talk about last night." She whispers.

Fuck, here it comes…

She regrets it. She is probably mad at him. Had he been too assertive? Had he taken too much of a
lead? Pushed too hard? Didn't check in with her enough? Probably all of the above.

He had screwed this all to hell. His one opportunity, and he fucked it up.

But at least you had that one time…

Remember, anything she gives you is enough.

Anything she gives you is more than you deserve.

I should be grateful it happened in the first place.

And he was. But the thought that she regretted it is gutting him. His best moment is going to be one
of her worst moments.

He feels her eyes on him, but he can't convince himself to look down from the ceiling, staring at
the damn stain that had cost him 100 galleons.

"Alright." He finally says.

And my world crashes in 3...2...1…

"I just wanted to apologize…"

Wait, what the hell?

"For how I treated you…"

Seriously, what the fuck?

"I want to make sure you are okay?"

I… I have no idea what is going on.

He looks down at her and sees those golden eyes becoming watery.

"Granger, I sincerely have no idea what you are talking about."

Her bottom lip is quivering, and she looks over at the mark she left on his collarbone. Her cheeks
begin to blush as she tries to push off of him. His arm around her tightens to keep her from
escaping.

"Not so fast. I need you to tell me what the fuck you are apologizing for."

"You have your own past with abuse in that area, and I… I didn't really take that into consideration.
I was being extremely selfish, and in my selfishness, I used you. I didn't even ask if you were okay
with doing things like we did after what happened to you. You have been so kind and considerate,
and even read a damn book for me and I… I did things to you because, well, I wanted to."

She won't look at him now, going as far as to hide her face by pressing it into his chest. He can feel
his skin becoming wet from her tears. He has to clear this up right now.

"Granger, look at me." He moves his hand and places it on the side of her face, raising it so she is
making eye contact with him. "I regret absolutely nothing from last night. Not one moment. You
have no reason to be apologizing. You gave me plenty of opportunities, too many damn
opportunities to back out if I didn't want to. What happened to me, yes it fucking sucks, but there is
no way in hell it will ever stop me from enjoying moments like last night. It honestly helped me, I
think."

"Really?"

She lifts her head off his chest and looks down at him, her nest of brown hair falls around their
faces, giving him a form of privacy.

"Yes. It felt like it was mine again, if that makes sense."

He doesn't talk about this kind of stuff. Not even with Theo or his mother. He had never been so
vulnerable with someone, but he thought it was only fair to be that way for her. She was always so
vulnerable with those she trusted.

"It makes perfect sense. At least it does to me. I feel the same way, like I am taking it away from
him, and almost like I am gaining my power back."

He smiles up at her and moves a large curl hanging in between them behind her ear. She is looking
down at him with those plump cheeks and a similar smile to his own.

Merlin, he loved moments like these. Moments that were just theirs and no one else's. Where it felt
like they had their own secret world hidden within the real hell they lived in.

He had slowly created that secret reality with all the small moments he hoarded over the years.
Every time she would roll her eyes at him. Every time she would leave her mugs in the library.
Every time they had a quick conversation by themselves in the hallways or on the grounds. Every
time they were partners on assignments. Every time they fought, and he felt more alive. Every
small hidden moment that probably meant nothing to her, that she probably didn't even remember,
he needed. He needed them to survive these last few years. He needed them as a reminder of why
he was breathing. To drown out and make caging all the other horrible memories easier.
"So you liked what we did last night?"

He blinks and is brought back from his thoughts. "Very much. Did you?"

She nods her head, and those wild curls fall into his face, and he smells that familiar scent of
lavender and vanilla.

"Very much, yes. So, you want to do it again then?"

Oh, fuck yes. Absolutely. Correct. Right. How many ways can I tell her?

Actually… I have a better idea.

Draco looks up at her, smiling, and quickly wraps his arms around her and rolls them over, placing
half of his body on top of hers.

She lets out a surprised yelp and raises her arms to wrap around his neck to keep herself from
falling.

His lips meet hers that are still swollen and bruised from last night, and his hands get lost in her
mane. The feeling of their lips meeting and responding to each other is unequaled to anything he
has experienced before.

Just imagine what she feels like inside…

Don't get ahead of yourself, Malfoy.

"Wait, what are you doing? The lights… It's bright out." She says in between his mouth consuming
hers.

"There is plenty I can show you without taking your clothes off."

He takes his lips off hers, and his dick twitches as she groans and reaches up to pull his head back
down.

"Like what?" She whispers.

He moves his head to the side of her face, right below her ear, and licks that spot she seemed to
love so much. He feels as her body tremors and watches goosebumps appear on her skin.

"Do you want me to show you? Ready for another lesson?"

Her hand goes into his hair and grabs at the strands as he continues to lap and bite at her sensitive
area.

"Ye… yes… Please… Teach me…"

Fuck… I love the way you talk when you're horny, Granger.

He moves his mouth back to hers, taking over with his tongue. Tasting every inch of her mouth,
claiming it as his. He had been here. His tongue had played with hers and made her mouth vibrate
with the incredible noises he is making happen.

"Did you enjoy the way I taught you how to make yourself come?"

He feels her whole body shake at his words. And he feels pre cum leaving the tip of his dick at her
response. Merlin, she loved being talked to. She loved it in the same way he loved doing it.

You were made for me, Granger.

"Yes, I… I have been doing it almost every day since."

Well, fuck if that wasn't one of the hottest things he has ever heard. He hadn't come in his pants
since he was 13 and had touched breasts for the first time, but damn it, if he didn't start thinking
about something else rather than Granger's tantalizing words, her hands in his hair, her tongue in
his mouth…

Malfoy, you cannot shoot off early right now. Don't you fucking dare.

If I do, I will bloody Avada myself.

"Lesson 6. Let's learn how you like someone else doing it to you."

He slips his hands, running them down her body slowly, avoiding her breasts even though
everything in him wishes to bury his hands, face, dick into them. But that was where he was last
night when something had happened. He decided that he would avoid that area while it was bright
out.

"I need to rectify my broken promise from last night."

She had begged him to make her come, and he hadn't. That thought had kept him up late into the
night. He did not leave women wanting. Ever. Especially not her.

"Wait, are you…"

Her voice trails off as his hand reaches the waistband of her shorts. Her eyes open, and he watches
as they move between his own. Looking terrified and exhilarated at the same time.

If he did this, they would be breaking that boundary for good. If she let him go any further, she
would be making a decision, a choice she couldn't take back.

"Yes, Granger, I am going to drag my fingers through your folds, feel how much you are enjoying
this, and do things to make you come so hard you see stars. Do you want me to show you?"
Come on, Granger… Choose me. Choose me over the fucking weasel.

Her eyes widen at his words, but she doesn't look away bashfully. She looks straight at him, lifts
one of her hands, and grabs the front of his shirt, pulling him down and kissing him hard.

"Show me."

He doesn't know what all this is to her. He was surprised she didn't want to talk about it, lay out
ground rules, make him sign a fucking contract. All things he wouldn't put past her. He knew this
wasn't the same for her as it was for him, and he is okay with that. Like he said before, he would
take whatever she was willing to give him. If she wanted him right now, for only this moment, then
that was enough.

Maybe this will win her over.

This is one thing I know I am good at.

He pushes his hand underneath the waistband of her shorts and cups her sex through her knickers.

"Fuck Granger. You're so wet."

She really was. Her thighs and knickers are soaked in a way that makes him feel like he could
conquer the world. He hadn't even really touched her yet, and she was already proving how much
he affected her.

He moves his middle finger up, feeling the indentation of her folds through the panties, and she
whimpers into his mouth.

"You like my fingers on your pretty sex?"

She nods her head as she continues to consume his lips, biting down on his lower one, making him
pause his hand and shutter, trying to keep himself under control as his dick hardens even more.

Listen, Malfoy, I know all of your wet dreams are coming true right now, but for fuck's sake, calm
down. Focus on her. This is all about her.

"Do… do you mind if I'm hairless?"

He opens his eyes at the words she says between their lips.

Granger, I will take you any way you want to be.

"Not at all."

He moves his hand up, hoping she is too lost in her own fire to notice how bad it is shaking as he
moves it underneath her panties. His fingers venture into her folds, spreading them slowly,
savoring every second his skin is gifted. He feels her swollen clit covered in her essence and can't
help but place pressure down right on top of it for a few moments.

"Oh my gods…"

She stops kissing him back, completely lost in the sensations he hopes he is making her body feel.

He lifts his finger off her bundle of nerves and travels farther into her core, gently circling and
massaging her entrance while continuing his pressure on her clit with his palm.

You are about to be inside Granger.

Holy fucking hell.

This is happening.

"One or two?"

He pulls his mouth away from her again and watches her chest rise up and down harshly. Her skin
is flushed, making her freckles stand out even more, and the gold in her eyes is glazed for a
different reason than sleep as she gives him a frustrated yet puzzled look.

"What?"

"How much of me do you want inside you, Granger?"

He feels her grind her hips into his hand, wanting that contact back, and he can't help the
triumphant smile that takes over his face. She wants him. She wants him bad.

"All of you. Everything. Anything. Please Malfoy… Touch me. I need it. Please."

Everything?

Anything?

Did that include my dick?

Does she want my dick in her?

Fuck yes.

We could do it. I could slide her knickers aside and work with the…

No.
No, you bastard.

The first time you and Granger have sex… fuck give me a second to embrace the fact that that is a
possible reality… Okay, yes, the first time you have sex with her, it will not be some messy,
quicky.

This is about her this morning.

He literally has to shake his head to place his concentration back where it needs to be before going
to her neck.

He takes two of his fingers and drags them through her core, coating them in her fluids before
holding them at her entrance.

"Is this okay?"

Her hands come up and cup the back of his neck, playing in the bottom line of his hair. They are
trembling very similarly to his own. This was a big moment for both of them.

"Yes… Can... Will you keep talking to me, though?"

He moves closer to her and rests his forehead against hers.

"You once said how I never compliment your appearance. Let me remedy that."

He slowly begins to insert his two fingers into her opening.

"You are so fucking beautiful, Granger."

He feels her walls contract against him. She is so tight. Perfectly tight, so warm and wet, and just
everything he could ever imagine.

"This mouth of yours, I was lying when I said I liked it closed. I prefer it open, with a piece of me
inside it."

The hand on his neck begins to dig and claw at his skin as his fingers continue to go deeper. She
lets out another dick twitching noise that he adds to his inventory of favorite sounds ever.

"And making noises like that. Fuck Granger, I love everything you do with that mouth."

His fingers are as deep as they can go, and he rests them there for a few moments, letting her get
more comfortable.

He looks down at her and sees the most dazzling sight he has ever seen. Her eyes are open, and
they are staring back up at him, so vulnerable, so honest, just so her, and she is smiling. A large
teeth on display smile as she arches her back, pressing her chest into his. He hasn't seen that smile
in a long time. He had never made her smile like that.

He starts to pull his fingers almost all the way out of her before pushing them fully back in. Her
eyes close as she arches her back and writhes with each thrust of his fingers, moaning with each
one.

He takes his two fingers and curls them as they reach as far back as possible.
"Oh! Malfoy, fuck!"

Bloody hell, just when I think that mouth of hers can't get any better.

"Say it again, Granger."

"Malfoy!"

"No."

"Fuck! Fuck me, oh my gods, do that again. Please, Malfoy."

He hears himself chuckling down at her as he curls his fingers again, making a long moan leave
her.

"This must be really good with all the pleases I am getting."

He watches as she lets out a breathy laugh, but it is cut off by a gasp as he places his thumb over
her swollen clit and starts circling, still pumping in and out of her with his two fingers.

"Malfoy… I'm… I'm close… I'm…"

"Do it, Granger. Come all over my fingers inside you. Come for me. I want to feel your walls
squeeze me, and I want to see your body shake. I want to hear the noises you make and watch your
face as you climax because of me."

He pumps his fingers quicker and presses hard onto her bundle of nerves again. He crashes his lips
against hers, consuming her roughly with purpose.

"It's hap... Happening… Malfoy, fuck, Malfoy…"

He pulls his mouth away from her, so he doesn't miss a single second of this. He curls his fingers
one last time, and he feels her body start to spasm under him. Her head bashes off the floor beneath
them, and her legs trap his hand in between her legs as her inner walls repeatedly contract. He feels
as her fluid increases and falls out of her onto his hand and into her shorts.

He feels a pressure growing in his lower back that moves forward quickly and sinks into his balls.
He tries to stop himself, but then she starts making her noises, and saying his name, and even
fucking thanks him, and he can't stop himself before his own release is taking over.

"Fucking hell..."

He grounds it out of his mouth as he shuts his eyes and looks up at the ceiling as he pumps into his
trousers without ever even touching himself.

You just came in your damn trousers, and the girl didn't even touch you.

That doesn't happen to you.

You cannot let her see.

He angles his hips off of her and into the floor to hide the embarrassing evidence of the power she
had on him as her body shakes uncontrollably.

Her eyes are still closed, and her breath is ragged, but she lifts her hand to the side of his face and
smiles.

"I saw stars."

He can't help the prideful smile that takes over his face.

Of course, she did. I am great with my hands.

He slowly pulls his fingers out of her pants as she opens her eyes and starts moving her thumb
affectionately across his jawline.

Her smile falters as he raises his hand covered in her fluids to his mouth and slips them in between
his lips.

"You are fucking delicious, Granger."

Her mouth physically drops as he closes his eyes and sucks them clean slowly and deliberately,
trying not to miss a single drop.

"Can… Can I taste it?"

Was it possible to come again after only two minutes?

He looks down at her as she avoids his eyes, and her cheeks become redder.

Draco smirks. "No need to be embarrassed, love, that was fucking hot. Here, open your mouth."

She turns back to him and listens obediently. He decides she needs the full effect and quickly
places his fingers inside her pants again, dragging them through her folds to cover what he had
devoured. He pulls them out and slowly puts them into her mouth. Her tongue shoots up and starts
circling his fingers as her eyes close, and she tastes herself.

Draco had partaken in a decent amount of sex since he was 14. And yes, when he was younger, he
bragged about his escapades quite tirelessly like the prick he was and still could be.

He prided himself on his wrap sheet of endeavors with the girls he was with, and all the tantalizing
things they did together.

But this moment, as he watches the fucking Golden Girl lavish his fingers covered in her own
essence, is the most erotic thing he has ever witnessed.

He is sure if he hadn't already come in his pants like a prepubescent git, he would have at the
sound of her lips popping as they release his fingers, and lick her lips, never taking her eyes off
him.

"I told you. Fucking delicious. Next time I want to drink from you. Would you like that?"

She nods her head and begins to sit up.

"Lesson 7 then. I taste good."

He can't help himself as he lays his head down on the floor in defeat as she just continues to get
better and better.

"Fucking hell, Granger." He moans into the floor, closing his eyes.

Seriously, I think you were made for me.

He hears her giggle as she places her hand on his side and tries to push him over.

"Your turn." She says.

What?

He feels her hands at his waistband by his hip as she starts to push inside.

She wants to touch your dick.

Granger is going to touch your…

Fuck, you already came you bloody moron!

Stop her!

He shoots up his right hand and grabs her wrist that is trying to do something he so desperately
wants her to do.

"This morning was about you." He tries.

She literally pouts at him, and he wants to bash his head into the floor and cut off his own dick for
betraying him minutes ago from what would have been much better than coming in his fucking
pants.

"I want it to be about both of us."

Stop being so perfect, Granger.

"Next time. And since I started it this morning, you get to start the next lesson, okay?"

Her pout turns into a smile, and she pulls her hand back and extends it out in front of her.

"Okay, deal."

He smirks at her and extends the hand he had used to make her come, a fact she does not miss, into
her hand.

"There's the Granger, I know. Will you have the paperwork for me to sign soon?"

She rolls her eyes as they continue to shake hands.

"All of this is a very not Hermione thing to do, so no contract. But maybe some rules?"

"Rules?"

She nods her head and places her hand on her lap.

"Yes, rules. Like I want to keep this between us."

He leans back on his hands.

And what exactly is this between us?

That was a dangerous question. One that if he ignored, he could probably have more encounters
like this morning with her.

Was it even fair to ask her for more? After what she had been through, was it fair to ask anything
more from her than what she was willing to give? From what she said last night and this morning,
it seemed that he was a means to help her feel empowered with her sexuality again. But he was
also more than that. She cared whether he enjoyed it. She wanted him to be a part of it. So maybe it
was just exploring with a friend? Exploring with someone she found safe? It didn't feel right to ask.
He honestly didn't really need or want an answer. He was fine with living in the moment with her.
If she wanted him now, he would enjoy every second of it.

"Deal. But when it is just us, I can be physical with you? Or do we have to wait for… a lesson?"

He winks at her, and he loves how quickly she flushes.

"Well, you have to wait this next time; that was the deal, right? But normally no, if we are alone, I
would be fine with that."

Well, that's all the permission I need, Granger. Be ready for me to get you alone as much as
possible.

"And you don't have to ask me if it's okay every time you want to do something. I will tell you if
you go too far or we need to stop." She adds.
He smiles and pulls her down into him to lay a searing kiss on those edible lips of hers. She
responds immediately, matching every press and movement with her own lips and sighing deeply
before pulling back and swatting his shoulder.

"You have to wait, remember?"

"I'm not trying to start anything. I just wanted to kiss you."

She tilts her head to the side and gives him a small smile. She acts like the words surprise her.

"So we have a deal, Malfoy?"

He watches as she quirks her eyebrow at him in challenge.

Let's play.

"Abso-fucking-lutely Granger."

"From one sex pact to another, Draco, you'd think you would have learned the first time. And don't
either of you try to tell me nothing just fucking happened because I will say it for the third and last
damn time; how stupid do you think I am?"

Draco watches as Granger's eyes shoot to the closed door, and look truly mortified.

"Oh my gods." She whispers as she pulls her hands up to hide her face.

"Uh uh. Nope. Stop talking, Hermione. I haven't heard your voice in almost a month, and the first
time I do, it is moaning and groaning my best mates surname. I have to live with that now for the
rest of my sorry excuse of a life. Both of you put on some bloody clothes and meet me in the
library."

He hears Theo's purposefully pounding footsteps go down the hallway. He turns to see Granger
looking like she wants to crawl in a hole and disappear. He smirks down at her embarrassment,
something he never felt about sexual matters. Somehow it made her even more endearing to him.

"Relax, Granger."

"I… don't tell me to relax, Malfoy! Theo just heard us! He knows!"

"What, you thought we would be able to do this, and he would not find out? We live in his fucking
house. He is excluded from that rule. I'll tell the bastard to keep quiet."

Granger pulls her mane up out of her face and tries to put it into a loose ponytail that holds it for a
total of 6 seconds before falling out due to the weight of the locks.

For some reason, I just got the insatiable urge to learn how to braid hair.

"I guess you're right. But I have no idea how I am going to face him after knowing he heard us."
"Well, luckily, you don't have to worry about that…"

What the hell, Malfoy?

He shakes his head at the realization. "Shit, that was a horrible thing to say. I'm sorry."

She looks down at the floor, playing with one of the loose strands by her face, twirling it
mechanically between her fingertips.

"Do you think it will ever be the same between us?" She tentatively asks.

Draco sits up from their makeshift bed on the damn floor and reaches out to rub her upper arms. He
honestly didn't know. He had never seen Theo be himself like he was with Granger before the last
spectacle. It had taken him over 15 years to start fighting for the things his father tried to take from
him. He has no clue how long it will take, or if Theo ever will give back what he took from
himself.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Granger; I don't know."

He watches as she starts to cry silently.

"But he has gotten better within the last month already. I don't think it is wrong to have hope."

She nods her head and wipes away the few tears, and starts to rise off of the floor. Draco begins as
well but remembers the ridiculous wet spot on the front of his fucking pants and pulls the blanket
up to hide it, pretending to need a minute to stretch.

"I am going to wash up real quick. Can you tell Theo I'll be there in a minute?"

He nods his head, unable to tell her she isn't the only one who had made a mess of themselves this
morning, and she shuts the bathroom door behind her.

Draco gets up and exits the room, needing to get to the hallway bathroom to clean himself off
quickly and get back in the closet to change before she can.

As he is about to open the door, Theo walks out of the kitchen.

"So, how was it?"

Theo gives him one of his half-smiles, which falters as he notices the stain on the front of his pants,
and turns it into a knowing smirk instead.

"Nevermind. I see you didn't even make it. One quick question, since it doesn't seem like you mind
it quick, have I still seen more of her?"

"Shut the fuck up, Nott."

He slams the door behind him.

Bloody hell… I am never going to hear the end of this now.

He cleans himself off and rushes back into the room, throwing on a pair of slacks and a button-up
as quickly as possible before jogging to the library.

Thank Merlin, the woman took long showers.

Theo is reading over the potion instructions as he enters.

"All we have to do now is add a bit of her blood and some thistle wood, and then let it simmer for
7 more hours, and it should be ready."

Draco nods and sits down in the chair in front of the large boiling cauldron.

"So we can try tonight?"

Theo places the book back on the table next to the cauldron and shakes his head in confirmation.

"The tattoo will still be there, with the runes cut in. I don't know if it will ever be able to be
removed. But she will have her magic back, and we kind of need the tattoo to stay if you don't want
anyone learning what we are up to. Any luck on the wand?"

Draco had actually had a lot of luck when it came to her wand, and plans to get it back for her
today, hopefully.

"Yes. After we fulfill this last step, I will be going to secure it."

Theo looks over at him and raises an eyebrow.

"And I am guessing by your choice of words that this quest to secure it would not be something
Hermione would agree to?"

Draco shakes his head, and Theo lets out a frustrated sigh and rolls his eyes.

"What am I confirming you are leaving to do then?"

And that's why I have always liked you, Theo.

"A meeting about the increase in leads from Austria."

"Fine. I don't like lying to her."

"It's not a lie. I actually do have that meeting. It just won't take the hours I will be gone."

It's an omission of truth, not a lie. Come on, Nott, you're a Slytherin. You know a lot can be gained
by little omissions every now and again.

"Whatever allows you to sleep at night, prick."

Granger opens the door to the library and keeps her eyes down at the floor. She moves to stand a
couple feet away from Theo, who is also looking down at his feet.
Be easy on her today, and maybe she will decide our next lesson will be tonight.

"Nott says all we need is your blood and the thistlewood, and it should be ready by tonight."

She looks up at him and gives him a slight nod. Theo moves to stir the cauldron a couple times to
ensure the texture and density are correct before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a kitchen
knife laying it on the table.

"We don't need much. A couple drops should be enough."

Granger takes the knife and, without giving it a second thought, slices a shallow cut into the palm
of her hand and holds it out over the cauldron, letting it drip into the steaming green liquid.

As soon as he counts 6 drops fall into the cauldron, Draco reaches out and grabs her lacerated
hand, and heals it with his wand. He keeps her hand in his and rubs his thumb over the faint pink
line that should disappear within a few hours.

"Thank you, Malfoy."

He nods his head and releases her hand as Theo drops the specified amount of thistlewood into the
cauldron and stirs 12 times.

"Okay, that's it. We just wait till tonight now."

Draco stands up, and accios his death eater robes from the entryway, and begins to pull them on.
He watches as Granger's eyes widen.

"I have a meeting over some leads we have received from Austria. I should be back in a few
hours."

She gives him a skeptical look, but like always, Theo pulls through.

"Can you tell Zabini that he needs to give my pillow back? I left it there last week, and the fucker
keeps ignoring my owls."

Draco nods his head and takes Granger by the arm as he starts walking back to her room.

"Malfoy, what are you doing?"

He doesn't answer her as they enter her room, and he walks over to the floo.

He grabs a handful of floo powder and turns back to her, as she looks up at him with a puzzled
expression on her face.

"Getting you alone so I can do this."

He wraps his arm around her waist, pulls her in, and presses his lips deeply against hers. Her hand
comes up to cup the side of his face as he slips her bottom lip in between his teeth and pulls slightly
as he forces himself to raise his head.

Her eyes are still closed as she takes a deep breath and shakes her head slightly.

"Oh… well... Okay… yes… Okay."

He chuckles at her loss of words and moves forward to press his lips to her forehead.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours."

He takes a step back as she nods, looking nervous. The way she always looked when he left.

I love that you care when I leave Granger.

"Stay alive, Malfoy."

.....

"We need to have a better system for their verification is all I am suggesting…"

The meeting is an absolute bore. He hates meetings. He was never one to sit still well. But it was
better than the actions being a Death Eater usually came with.

Fucking Flint sits across from him, going on and on about absolutely nothing. The bastard just
liked the sound of his own voice, and by the looks Carrow Cunt is giving him, he isn't the only
one.

Maybe she will move on from me and use Flint instead.

He already completed their two sessions for this month and never had to lay a finger on the cunt,
thanks to Granger. And it seemed to be working.

Draco looks up at the clock in the corner of the room as Flint continues.

Dolohov would be leaving his house of horrors soon. If this meeting went on much longer, it might
time up perfectly.

While Granger had been focusing on trying to help Theo, physically recovering from the spectacle,
and her occluding skills, Draco had been busy himself. One matter of concern for him was to find
her wand. He purposefully spent more time in the Greengrass manor over the last three weeks
under the impression that it was an easier place to fulfill the paperwork and strategist
correspondence since most of the people he needed to talk to were in the manor.

The real reason being Greyback was always coming around the property. And occasionally,
Dolohov was with him.

And he needed information.

It was so much easier to find out what he needed now that he knew who the enemy was. He knew
who and where to look.
Lucky for him Greyback was a talker, even more so when he thought no one was listening. Draco
had placed pairs of extendable ears in the dining room and lounge that the werewolf seemed to
congregate towards.

"I'm just saying, she isn't the only cunt out there. Find another one to release all this anger on until
you get it back."

"I just need to find a way into that wing of the manor. It wouldn't tell the fuckers I was even there
if I got to it. The problem is they warded that place as much as Malfoy Manor, and they never
fucking leave it alone."

"Use its wand. Isn't it Bellatrix's old wand? It's not like she wants it back since the Mudblood put
her hands all over it. I'm sure it will work for you, and with its power, I bet it could break those
bastard wards."

Draco should have stopped listening at the confirmation that Dolohov indeed had her wand, but a
sick and twisted part of him couldn't pull away from the conversation. Hearing them talk about her
that way made him physically shake, but he had to hear it. He had to hear every word they said
about her.

"It won't work for me. I've tried."

"Well then, I guess you will have to work with the other options you have until you get it back.
You weren't able to convince Malfoy to share?"

"No, the fucking prick thinks it's his. He has no idea that even though he may possess it physically
for the time being. I will always possess it truly."

"Her cunt must be fucking fantastic for all this work."

"Its cunt, its mouth, its.."

Draco severed the connection to the room as bile began to form in his mouth.

"Thank you, please send in the paperwork by the end of the day. You all may go."

He looks up from his thoughts and begins to stand. Carrow Cunt looks his way and flashes him a
wink as he gets up, letting her eyes linger on his body. He sneers at the hag and flips her off as he
turns to leave.

I am going to kill you, Carrow Cunt.

He walks out of the manor to the apparition point.

He had gone through the documents listing the strongholds, manors, and other buildings the Dark
Lord had taken for his army, and had spent hours going through the lists to find where Dolohov
had been keeping her.

Granger had given him a basic rundown of the place. A large house. Three stories, red brick facing,
with a grey stone patio where she was left one storming night. It sat in a small field surrounded by
trees with no other house or light in sight.
As he went over list after list, he found three possible addresses that matched the description she
had given him.

When he gets past the wards, he apparates to the first address to find it being used to stockpile
valuable belongings taken from the Muggle and Muggle-born wizards the Death Eaters murdered.

The second address is also a dead end, as the house was abandoned and empty with all the
windows broken.

But the third address is a perfect match. As soon as he apparates, he knows he has found the one.
The grey stoned deck has a chain with a collar attached at the end, laying across it.

He waves his wand in the air, casting for wards. He finds a few placed, quickly splinters them, and
walks up the steps to the door. The door is more complex. A detection spell was placed, and a no-
touch charm would electrify anyone who tried. He scans over the seven windows with his wand
and finds that only the first floor and two windows on the third floor have wards and spells placed
on them. The second-story windows have nothing.

Thank Merlin, you are a lazy fucker.

Draco grips onto the brick facia and uses the window casings to help hoist himself up to a second
window.

He pulls out his wand, waves it to move the latch, and quickly raises the window to pull himself
inside.

As soon as he lands in the room, he hears her screaming.

He knows that scream.

He has heard that scream too many times in his life to mistake it for anyone else's.

It is her.

It is Granger.

He runs out of the bathroom he fell into and finds himself in a long hallway with a staircase at one
end.

She is still screaming.

He starts to panic as he tries to decide where she must be until he remembers she isn't here. She
can't be here.

She's safe. She's at Theo's, remember? Your tongue and fingers were inside her hours ago. She
can't be here. She isn't here.

Then what the fuck is screaming? And how does it sound just like her?
He raises his wand and accios for her wand, hearing a thumping sound above him.

Wherever it was, it was warded in.

He runs up the stairs, noticing that the screaming becomes louder as he reaches another hallway
with three doors. The screaming is coming from the right. He accios for the wand again and hears
it hit the door to his right.

Fuck, I guess my luck had to run out sometime.

He stands in front of the door as his girl lets out a blood-curdling scream that makes the hair on his
arms stand on end. He can't concentrate. He wouldn't be able to… He is able to touch the door.

It's warded on the inside. To keep someone in.

He needs to open the door. He needs to get her wand and get out. He needs to move, but he can't.
He is frozen.

This was where he kept her. Behind that door is where she lived for five months while he…

Draco closes his eyes and brings his hands up to cover his ears to try to stop the screaming.

Granger stop! Please, please fucking stop!

All of a sudden, the screaming disappears. He opens his eyes. Half expecting to see Dolohov
standing in front of him with his witch in his arms. But there is only the door. He takes a few deep
breaths before placing his hands on the knob and pushing it open.

Do I look? Do I want to look? Should I look? Would it be invading her privacy if I looked? I
shouldn't look, just get the damn wand and get out.

He opens the door partially, and with his eyes trained on the ground, he accios for the wand, and it
rolls to the tips of his shoes.

He is bending down to get it when he hears her again.

She isn't screaming.

No, it is much worse.

What the hell is this? How the fuck is she making those noises here, right now, when he knows she
is at Nott Manor?

How…

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

The bastard has moving images. That has to be it. He had taken images of her, and he must have
them playing on a loop.

He has images of my girl.

With that thought in mind, he decides he has to look up. He has to destroy them.

But as soon as he does, he wishes he didn't.

If anyone ever questioned if true, real evil existed, all they would have to do was take one look at
this room. At the bloody sheets... the ropes, the whip, the gagger, the chair with handcuffs built
into it, the bottles of potions and needles, at the bed…

He throws up.

His body starts convulsing, and his vision becomes blurry with anger.

He did this to her.

To her.

To my witch.

Mine.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his robes and looks over to the wall projecting images of
Granger. Images he needs to stop watching, but like listening in on Greyback and Dolohov, he
finds he can't.

Granger had told him a lot of what she went through at the hands of this sociopath. He thought
listening to her that he understood. He didn't. He had no fucking clue, not even a vague idea of the
horrors she experienced over the past half a year. But seeing it, watching him do… He vomits
again.

Granger, how are you still alive?

How are you still living?

As the loop makes it back to the one causing her heartbreaking screams, he waves his wand and
casts a spell that fries the device projecting the moving images. Hopefully Dolohov will think it
broke on its own, and honestly, if he caught on that Draco had been here, what really could he do?
Draco held the power, not him. Not after he had been failing the Dark Lord for months now.

Draco tucks Granger's wand safely into his robes, grabs the outer door handle, and shuts the door
behind him.

I need her.

I need her right now.

Those thoughts keep repeating over and over again as he runs out of the house and apparates to the
outer wall of Nott Manor. He runs through the gates and feels the detection spells letting him
through as he flies into the manor and up the stairs towards Nott's rooms.

I need her.

I need her.

I need to know she is okay.

He slams the door open with his shoulders as his hand doesn't open the door fast enough.

"Granger!"

He is yelling it before the door hits the wall.

"Granger!!"

He runs into her room and finds it empty, and his heart catches in his throat.

Maybe he does have her. Maybe she is there. Maybe he had gotten through the wards and had…

"Malfoy?"

He turns and sees her standing in the doorway, still wearing one of his t-shirts with jeans, a book in
her hand, and a worried look on her face.

He runs forward, grabs her into his arms, and presses her into him so tight he is sure she can't
breathe. But it still isn't close enough. He still isn't convinced this is real.
Please… Please touch me, Granger.

Please show me you are alive.

Please show me you are safe.

He feels her arms wrap around him immediately and starts rubbing all over his back.

"Shh Malfoy, it's alright, it's alright. I am alive. I am safe. I am so safe. I'm right here. I am
touching you right now."

He buries his face into her neck and breathes her in. Lavender, vanilla, and mint? Oh that's him.
She smells like him. Because he had been all over her body. Her beautiful, perfect, golden, alive
body. A body that somehow still shined after… after what he had seen.

How?

How in the fucking world does she do that?

His arms won't stop shaking as he keeps inhaling her. Trying to ground himself in her.

"You are hope, Granger." He breathes in. "That is why everyone always fucking wants you."

Her hands massage the back of his neck and play in his hairline, and he feels his body start to calm
down.

"Thank you, Malfoy."

It finally made sense to him. That is why everyone was always drawn to her. That is why important
people, significant moments, and groundbreaking changes always involved her. She was hope
incarnate. She gave it to everyone around her. Potter, Gryffindors, fucking Weasel Wart, the weasel
wart adjacent, The Order, Theo, him.

And that is why the Dark Lord, Dolohov, Carrow, and Nott Sr. used her the way they did. They
saw what she was, and they wanted to destroy it. Wanted to eradicate her to extinguish that flame
of inspiration she caused to those around her.

They had tried.

Bloody hell, they had given it their all, but here she was, massaging his neck, breathing sweet
words into his ear, with eyes golden, heart beating, and mind working in a way that had already
saved him once. Had already filled him with a hope of a future, possibly even with her, that he had
never believed in before. She made him want to fight. She made him want to live. She made him
feel alive.

"You make me feel alive."

He whispers it into her neck, not sure she can even hear his thoughts turning into words before he
means them to.

"You make me feel on fire." She whispers.

He pushes her backward until he is lying on top of her, still holding her tightly in his arms,
covering her with his entire body.
She moves her legs to wrap around him and rests her head in the nape of his neck. She touches him.
She never stops touching him. She rubs, massages, plays with his hair, does so many wonderful,
sweet, and addictive little things, and he is a selfish bastard and makes her keep doing it. Makes her
keep touching him for what could have possibly been hours. He knows it has been a long time as
he realizes he has lost all feeling in his arms that are still holding her.

He raises his head and sees her already looking at him with the same worried expression. He places
his forehead against hers, something he has found he loves to do, and closes his eyes.

"Malfoy, what happened?"

He pulls his arms out from underneath her and moves his body to lay half on her, still not ready to
break the contact, and reaches into his robes and pulls out her wand, placing it in her hand. She
looks down at it, confused for a moment before her eyes widen, and her hand squeezes the wand
tightly.

"You…"

Her voice breaks, and she closes her eyes.

"Yes."

He sees her bottom lip start to shake, and she turns her head, trying to hide the tears escaping
through her closed eyes, but Draco cups her face and pulls it back to his.

"I am so sorry, Granger."

She nods her head slightly as a small whimper comes out of her mouth.

"Please, please don't look at me differently. Please don't… don't treat me like I'm broken. I
know…"

He raises both of his hands to cup her face, and he presses his lips to hers to stop the horrible things
she is saying from leaving her mouth.

No more, Granger.

Don't ever talk about yourself like that again.

You are not broken.

You are hope, remember? You are hope.

"Never Granger, you hear me? No one can break you. No one."

He kisses her harder, and her arms wrap around him and pull him closer as the tears on their faces
mix and become one. It isn't a passionate or lust-filled kiss. It feels similar to when she had held
him after finding out about his agreement with Carrow. Like they were holding onto each other for
dear life; clinging and clawing, pressing together because they needed it. It wasn't just him, he
realizes. She needed it too. She needed to be touched and reminded just as much as he did.

So he holds her and presses his cold lips to her warm lips as he tries to show her how much power
 she holds over all of them.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - depictions of gore and abuse.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

"Shit."

His whole body flinches as he hears the Floo pop in the main entryway.

"Shit, shit, shit."

Theo shoves the contraceptive potion for Hermione into his healing kit, along with the other items
he was stalking for the upcoming fucking spectacle, and plasters himself against the wall in the
hallway.

He runs out of the shadows, aiming for the storage closet on the right side across from his father's
office.

He hears a pair of voices from the entryway getting louder as he opens the door and closes it most
of the way behind him, leaving a small crack so he can see who is in his house.

One voice has to be his father since none of the detection spells went off. But who was the other
one?

He backs himself into the far corner of the closet, trying to keep his body away from the sliver of
light coming through the small opening.

Breathe in.... 6 Breathe out…. 7

"The lil shit has had that area warded ever since he learned how. I have never wanted to work
through them, but I did try a few days ago as you requested. No luck."

His father.

"I have never seen wards so dense. Not even at the manor. Can you assist me in trying to tear
through them? I need to get to it."

Theo loses count of his breaths as he recognizes the other voice.

Dolohov.

Shit…

"Antonin, this obsession is going to kill you. Let it fucking go."

"Never."
"My offspring has been working on those wards for years, and I swear the lil Malfoy has added his
own ever since he started living with him."

"Are they gay?"

"How the fuck would I know or care? And why do you?"

"Because I would prefer if they are. Because that means they aren't touching what is mine."

"She's a fucking Mudblood, Antonin, and she wasn't even good."

There is silence for a moment as he hears his father open the door to his study and walk through.
Theo hates hearing them speak about her like this.

"I am going to go try. We can deal with the potion afterward."

"No, we deal with the potion first, and then we can go try to break through. If we get this right,
you may not even have to worry about the damn wards. Plus, I need to get back to base as soon as
possible."

He hears the door shut, and the voices become so muffled, he can't make out the words.

Theo continues to count as his body shakes. It always shook when he was close to his father. The
man hadn't touched him physically in years, but that hadn't stopped him from hexing and using the
cruciatus curse on him whenever his guard was down.

You're fine, Theo. 85.

You're fine. 86.

Just breathe, breathe. 87.

You have to get up there before Dolohov. 88.

You have to warn them. 89.

He knew one normal wizard would never be able to break through the wards he and Draco placed
on his rooms. Like his father said, he had been adding them one on top of the other for years to
make himself feel as safe as possible.

Theo was consumed with researching and learning how to cast ward after ward during his years at
Hogwarts. It was the area he spent the most time learning about in the library rather than healing.

But two wizards, with the determination he knew Dolohov had when it came to Hermione, they
could get close possibly.

We need Hermione.
With that thought, he pokes his head out of the opening, and he runs as fast as he can down the hall
and up the stairs to his rooms.

"Draco! Hermione! Library, right fucking now!"

He yells it as soon as he opens the door and continues toward the library. The cauldron is still
simmering the potion, and the color and texture look perfect. It is ready. And she needs to bloody
take it right now!

"This is periwinkle level shit, Draco! Get in here!"

He frantically opens the book from his father's office and skims until he reaches the page with the
incantation he believes will work.

Please fucking work. Please fucking work. Come on, brain, don't fail us now.

"Nott, what the hell is…"

"Dolohov is here. With my father. They… They're going to make a try at the wards. Both of them.
Soon. Like any fucking second soon, and they may be able to."

As he is talking, Draco comes up next to him, starts stirring the potion, and places it in a glass.

"This has to work. We need her help if we want to keep them out."

"Okay, what do we need to do?" Draco looks down at the page he has open.

Theo hears lighter footsteps behind them, knowing it is Hermione, but she is silent, of course.
Even in the midst of everything, she is thinking about him and trying to make sure he is
comfortable.

"It's… It's all done. We just have to get this fucking right, Draco. I have to be right. Blood magic…
if it's wrong… if I'm wrong, I could, she could… I could really hurt her again."

I can't hurt her again.

He closes his eyes as he feels it becoming harder to breathe. His vision begins to tunnel, and the
weight on his chest begins to press.

Damn it! Shit! No, not right now. You cannot freak out right now! She needs you. You need to do
something, something right.

An object lands on the top of his hands, and Theo opens his eyes to see a small piece of parchment
with one line written in clear feminine handwriting.
I believe in you.

Shit… the evil witch…

He shakes his head and gets his breathing under control, pulling out his wand.

He turns and looks at her bare feet, still unable to see her face. The face he had mangled.

"Okay, shit, shit… drink that entire thing when I tell you to Hermione, okay?"

He watches as one of her hands lowers into his line of sight, and she gives him a thumbs up.

He raises his wand towards her and closes his eyes.

"Draco, place my wand on her neck exactly on a rune."

His brother pulls him forward, and his wand meets her skin.

Skin you have bruised, and broken, and made bleed.

Like father like…

No.

I'm going to fix it, I'm… I'm going to rectify this.

"Okay, here we go… I, I love you, Hermione."

He has had the spell memorized for days. But as the sounds and syllables leave his lips, he is
convinced he is about to destroy her all over again.

Everything you touch ends up destroyed.

You are unable to preserve anything.

"Drink it now."

He hears her take a large gulp before gagging. He had read blood magic would not agree with
some wizards and witches. It was too dark. But Hermione had already proven it wouldn't kill her.

He knew the witch had to have a darker side. Fucking Bellatrix the Bitch's wand worked for her,
for crying out loud, and that was one dark magic-filled object.
"You should feel your magic coming back. I… I don't know if I ever told you, but it won't get rid
of the marks on your neck. I, if this works, I will…"

"Nothing is happening, Nott."

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Well, you had a good run at trying to survive, Theo boy.

I think it's time to throw in the hat.

Call it a day.

Take matters into…

A mug full of burnt chocolate floats in front of his face. And he sees the little hand, holding the
powerfully evil wand, up towards the mug.

I did it. I… I fucking did it. She has her magic back!

Theo falls to the ground as it becomes hard to breathe for a good reason. He watches as expensive
shoes move in front of bare feet, and then the bare feet disappear upwards.

"Thank you, Nott. Merlin, fucking thank you."

He closes his eyes, feeling a weird sensation that he hadn't felt in a couple weeks. He is crying
again. The woman had made him cry more times in the last two months than in the last seven
years. He stopped crying after the terrace incident. That area of himself went numb that night.

"Thank me after we keep those monsters out of my sanctuary." He stands up and moves back down
the hallway to the front door. "Hermione, we will need you to build as many wards as you know
and help reinforce the ones we already have. They said they were coming up soon."

Draco comes up next to him, raising his wand and casting another layer of protection wards.
Hermione raises her wand, which is shaking, and starts to do the same.

"Does he know I took her wand?" Draco asks.

Theo shakes his head. "I don't think so. He didn't mention anything about it. He just wants her
back."

He sees the wand to his left flinch at his words.

"Granger, you okay? Theo, switch me spots."

He lowers his wand and moves back so Draco can be next to her and between the two of them.

"What is his plan if he does get through them? Kill us and take her?"
Theo shrugs as he casts a disillusionment charm that will hide the door from them. "He sounds
crazy, Draco. Like all-rationality-out-the window crazy. His fixation with her is driving him mad."

Draco scoffs. "He already is bloody mad. He thinks he loves her for Merlin's sake."

He hears a light whimper begin to his left, and he sees Draco falter and turn.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. Go sit down we…"

Hermione must have cast a selective silencing spell around her voice so Theo can't hear.

A few moments of silence pass.

"He told me after the last spectacle." Draco responds to something she said.

The blonde is in trouble.

Another few quiet moments.

"I didn't say anything, Granger, and he is still alive, so I didn't do anything either, even though
everything in me wants to end him."

That has to be a lie. If Dolohov told him he loved her, there is no way Draco kept his mouth shut.
He is way too much of a possessive prick to deal with someone talking like that about her.

"I'll give your shoes back after you promise to stop fucking throwing them at me."

Well… I guess sex didn't change their dynamic.

Draco huffs in frustration, then turns to Theo. "Nott, will we know once they…"

"Yeah, I cast a detection charm on the hallway right where the wards begin. We should know if…"

He feels his wand begin to vibrate as his magic lets him know someone had set off the charm.

"Shit, they're here."

Hermione makes another noise, but she keeps her trembling wand up and whispers spell after spell.

"Granger, just…...... Yes, I know….... Fuck me, woman, the things you do to me."

Theo can feel his wards being tampered with, and some fall quickly. He and Draco had been
obsessively adding and reinforcing all of the protection around the rooms ever since he found
Hermione. And he knew he was very good at protection charms and wards, but the crazed way
Dolohov was talking earlier has him worried. The man was determined, relentless, and there was
nothing scarier than a relentless wizard.

"My father I'm not worried about, but Dolohov… Is he… should we be worried?"

Draco purses his lips. "Yes."

"Shit."

The pressure against his wards doesn't stop. It actually grows. As ward after ward is severed, it
feels like the wizard on the other side becomes more tenacious.

"Granger, sit now. That isn't a request. Nott, how are we…"

"They are breaking, some of the less complex ones, but they are breaking."

"Fuck."

Draco raises his wand again, and Hermione doesn't listen.

They continue building and reinforcing for over an hour before he feels a light up on the forces
against them. Hermione chose to sit on the floor a couple of minutes ago, still casting charm after
charm.

"I think my father left, but Dolohov is still here. I'm pretty sure they will hold." Theo lowers his
wand and slumps onto the floor. He hears Hermione's wand clank off the hardwood as she slumps,
but Draco continues to stand.

"Mate, seriously, it's…"

"You two go get some rest if you need. I'll stay here."

He is tempted to look up at the brunette and try to convince her to get him to stop, but he knows it
is no use.

Dolohov isn't the only one who is relentless when it comes to her.

Theo stands up and runs his hand over his face. "I'll let you know if I feel him go. It has to be
soon."

Draco doesn't say anything and keeps warding the door. Theo looks down at the back of
Hermione's head and sees that she is leaning her body against Draco's leg, looking a different level
of exhausted.

"Is she asleep?" Theo asks.

"Yes. Can you grab her blanket and pillow?"

Theo moves into Hermione's room and grabs the items. Draco is sitting on the floor when he
comes back, still warding with his wand, now with her head resting in his lap.

"Well, that was one quick introduction to her magic."

He gives the blanket to Draco, who puts it over her body as Theo takes the spot next to his friend,
leaning back against the wall.

"Yes."

They sit in the silence for a few moments as they catch their breath.

After a few minutes, Theo reaches out and grabs Hermione's wand. "So, how bad was it?"

Theo knows Draco is aware of what he is asking. If he got her wand back, he had been to the place
she was kept for months.

Draco squeezes his eyes shut. "It takes the number one spot from the Weasel."

Theo whistles through his lips. "Yeah, that's bad."

His friend agrees and starts pulling at the hair on his head. "I… I don't understand any of this shit
anymore. It is one fucking memory. That's it. Why is he going through all this trouble? Why would
he keep her around for this long? It doesn't make sense."

He isn't talking about Dolohov anymore.

"Who knows, mate. But you do realize what tomorrow is?" Theo feels the bile start up his throat.
What were they going to do? Would he have to beat her again? He knows if he has to, he will, but
everything in him feels like it's dying at the thought.

"Yes, and you're not coming."

Theo whips his head up at him. "What the hell do you mean I'm not coming?"

Draco stares ahead. "Exactly what I said. You are not coming. I'll handle it."

"So now that you have had sex with her, you are fine with doing it in front of them?"

Draco physically revolts as he looks over at him. "What? Fuck no! And we didn't have sex, Nott.
Like I said, I have it handled."

"That is basically saying nothing but with words. Try again, Draco."

How in the world could he have this handled? If he wasn't going to shag her, how did he plan on
getting out of this? They couldn't place false memories in everyone. They couldn't use polyjuice
potion on Pans or Daph and make them fill in for Hermione with the Dark Lord looking into her
mind. Draco apparently isn't going to let him come and wallop on his girl again. There were no
solutions.

"The less you know, the better for you if it all goes to hell, Theo."

Shit. That means his plan has the possibility of going wrong more than it has the possibility of
going right.

"I already know too much to be spared, and you know this. I accepted that when I agreed to help
you months ago. So Draco, tell me."

His friend continues to move his wand in front of the door, and places one of his hands in
Hermione's hair, twirling one of the strands between his fingers absentmindedly.
"I made a curse." He finally says.

Theo's eyebrows shoot up at the words. "You made a curse?"

"Yes."

"Care to elaborate further?"

Theo knew that before everything went to an even deeper level of hell than it already had, Draco
spent a good deal of time with Professor Snape.

The wizard taught Draco everything he knew, including the complex processes of creating spells
and charms. Draco had always been good at charms in the first place, so when the Room of
Requirement actually showed up for him, and it gave him a book full of annotations and notes, and
even the spell Potter had used on him earlier that year, he brought it to Snape.

Turns out, the book was his from when he attended Hogwarts, and with it back in his hands, he
added its contents to the ever-growing list of information he passed on to the Slytherin.

Theo is sure the book is here somewhere.

As he is thinking this, he feels the pressure against his wards stop. "Dolohov's gone. The wards
held."

Draco finally drops his wand onto the floor and runs his hand over his face.

"Meet me in the library. I'm going to put her to bed."

Draco places his arms around the brunette curled up into him and lifts her slowly. Theo hears her
make a noise as she lifts her head.

"Go back to sleep, Granger. The wards held. Everything is fine."

She places her head back on his shoulder as he walks her down the hallway.

Theo looks back at the door. He places a couple more complex wards before standing up and going
to the library, where Draco is already setting up two chairs facing each other.

"I need to practice anyways. Mind being my subject?"

"Will it cause me eternal damage?"

The bastard had tried out spells, charms, and potions on him before, and it didn't always go well.
Even making one of his toes disappear for a whole month. And another time, turning his tongue
yellow with half of it paralyzed.

"If it works, it won't."

Theo rolls his eyes. "How encouraging."

They both take a seat in the chairs facing one another, and Draco pulls out a small vial from his
front pocket and hands it to him. Theo holds it up to his face to inspect the murky clear liquid
inside it.

"It tastes like shit."

Theo shrugs. "Don't they always."

Draco smirks and pulls out his wand. "I had the idea watching you place those backward
disillusionment charms on her before last month. I thought, what if I made a charm or spell and
then made a potion that made it look like I was hurting her, but I really wasn't?"

Theo leans back in his chair and nods at his friend. It is a good idea, and he is sure that after
everything Hermione has been through, she could act out screaming and painful moans better than
anyone.

She had done it well last month. Yes, he had beaten the shit out of her, but he felt her playing into it
too. Falling harder, throwing herself backward with his hits to make them seem more powerful.
Even smearing the blood to make the scene as gruesome as possible.

"So I made a curse that physically maims another person. It eats away your skin, like a burn
without fire."

Theo grimaces. "Sounds pleasant. So how is that going to help Hermione? If it actually works?"

"It does work. It'll eat your skin down to the bone if you let it."

Theo throws the vial up into the air and catches it. Watching the contents swirl around. "But I am
guessing this does something to counteract it?"

Draco nods. "It should. It should make it look like it is working without it being real. As long as
you take that potion before the spell is cast, it should only make it look like it is working."

"You know you said should like three times just now, right? That is not very reassuring."

Draco rolls up his sleeve and waves his wand over his forearm. Theo sees a layer of skin that looks
like it is still healing from a pretty serious burn right above his Dark Mark.

"This was without the potion."

He rolls up his sleeve on his other arm, and Theo can't spot anything out of the ordinary.

"And this was with the potion. I did it yesterday."

"So why do you need me to test it? I'm guessing you don't know how much potion is needed to
consume to ensure it works over the whole body?"

Draco nods his head. The bastard was brilliant. Dark, and very twisty, but brilliant nonetheless. He
had one of the most creative minds he knew. And while yes, Theo was definitely more book smart,
Draco used his intellect with actions in a way that Theo couldn't grasp, couldn't even see until
Draco had already created new options and choices.

He did it at the last spectacle by setting up a false reality of blood purity dedication with only a few
words. He was so quick with it too. His mind worked in a different way than his. Always outside
the box.

"Exactly." Draco says.

Theo takes the lid off of the vial and holds it up to his nose, taking in a breath but quickly recoiling
at the sour smell.

"Told you, absolute shit."

"Why do your potions always taste the worst?"

Draco shrugs and flips his wand between his fingers, just like he did with Hermione's hair earlier.

"You ready?"

Theo nods and pinches his nose with his one hand as he brings the vial up to his mouth with the
other. "Bottoms up."

The stuff burns. Burns worse than firewhiskey as it goes down and tastes like ash and sulfur even
with his nose pinched.

He gags quickly and bends over the side of the chair as he tries to keep his bile down.

"Sorry."

"Seriously, mate, you can create a fucking spell and counter potion, but you can't put a little berry
or flower herb in there to make it not kill me first?! Merlin, damn it. I think it is eating the walls of
my stomach."

"That'll go away in a second."

As Draco says the words, the fire dissipates, and he feels his bile going down. Theo sits back up
straight in the chair.

"Okay, so will I feel anything?"

Draco shakes his head. "You will feel my magic touch your skin, but that should be it. If you start
feeling anything, let me know. I am going to try it over your whole body."

"You know, ever since Hermione has been here, you and I haven't had too many of these little
heart-to-heart moments. Let's go back to that after this, okay?"

Draco lets out a light laugh as he raises his wand up to Theo's chest.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

Draco's wand lets out a green flash, and for a moment, Theo is convinced he is about to die as he
feels Draco's magic hit him. He closes his eyes and grabs the arms of the chair, bracing for the
pain. But it never comes.

"Feel anything?"

Theo shakes his head.

"You may want to keep your eyes closed. It is pretty gruesome."

"Well, now you know I have to fucking open them."

He looks down and jerks at the sight. He had seen his body in some pretty horrible conditions.
Skewered onto a table, bones sticking out through his skin, bruises so deep they took months to
heal, but the sight of his body now makes him want to jump out of his own skin. Well, if there was
any skin to jump out of.

Everywhere he can see, his skin looks like it is being eaten away. What was once tanned,
disillusioned flesh, now is a seeping, bloody, eroding mess. He watches as it continues to almost
peel off of him and his tissue and tendons become visible in certain spots.

"Shit."

He can't stop looking at the mangled remains of his body.

"Convincing and evil enough to appease the Dark Lord?"

Theo nods his head as the skin continues to disappear from his body. "But this works if you don't
take the potion?"

There is a moment of silence before Draco responds. "Yes."

Theo looks up at him. "You know he will have the others using it against The Order then?"

It would be a damn catastrophe if another battle took place, and the Death Eaters had this new
curse in their arsenal.

"I can live with that. If it saves her from these spectacles."

Theo sees the assurance in Draco's face. He knows what he's saying is true. He wouldn't lose a
night of sleep over the fact that he was handing the Dark Lord another horrible means to hurt The
Order. In his mind, it was justifiable because it was the only way to keep Hermione from being
hurt more than she already has. And it would also keep Theo from hurting himself again. It was
worth it to him. And Theo found himself agreeing.

"Do you think she can?" Theo asks.

Draco looks down at his wand he is twisting in his hands. He casts a quick spell to end the curse he
put on Theo but continues to stare down. "It'll stay looking like that for another hour before
disappearing. And I think so, but if not, she really doesn't have a choice. We are doing it."

"It's her body, Draco. She may rather you beat her or fuck her instead of giving the Dark Lord
another…"

"That is not happening. She will take the damn potion, even if I have to force it down her throat."

Theo can tell Draco is terrified that he may have to do just that. It would be the last thing he would
want to do to her, to force her to do something with her body she didn't want to do. Too many
people had done that to her, and he desperately didn't want to be one of them, but he would do it if
it meant saving her life. Like he has proven before. He would let himself lose her if it meant she
made it out of this mess.

"Don't think that will play over well for your new sex pact with her."

Draco lifts his head and glares at him. "Stop fucking calling it that. That's not what it is."

Theo scoffs. "Oh? Okay, what is it then, Draco? I had the unfortunate experience of hearing most
of the conversation and fucking act because two of the smartest people I know couldn't remember
to place a simple silencing charm around the damn room beforehand. And it sounded a hell of a lot
like a sex pact to me."

Draco slouches in his chair and places his head in his hands. He doesn't talk for a while. Theo is
almost convinced that he isn't going to give him a response when he hears his friend let out a
frustrated sigh. That means he is about to talk. That means he is going to give in and be a bit honest
for a few minutes. To take down some of those walls.

"I don't know what the fuck it is, and… I'm too afraid to ask."

"Why?"

Draco sighs again. "Because… Because is it even fair to ask her? After everything she has been
through… should I, a man, ask her for anything more than what she wants to give me?"

Theo sits back in his chair and watches the blonde stare at the ornate rug between them, mind
moving from thought to thought. "But what is she offering you? You don't even know what that is,
right?"

"I… I guess not. I have assumptions."

"Well, from what I heard, it sounds like she wants to have some sexual experiences outside of that
sociopath. Can't blame her for that."

Draco rubs his hands on his thighs. This was bothering him. He would pretend he was okay with
this being whatever she wanted it to be, but he knew that Draco wanted all of her, and even if he
tried to be okay with just pieces, it would never satisfy him.

"So, you think it's her trauma? Am I taking advantage of her then?"

"Shit, no, mate! Listen, I know I said at the beginning that I thought her attachment to you could be
trauma-based. I mean, you are a very dominant personality, and after what she has been through, I
thought maybe she was clinging to you out of association with being dominated for the last six
months. But I'm pretty sure I was wrong about that."

Draco looks up and gives him a puzzling expression. "What makes you think you are wrong?"

Theo pulls out a cigarette and throws one to Draco. They both light their sticks and place them in
their mouths as Theo processes what to say.

He knew he had been wrong. The last two months had proven to him that her connection with
Draco was not trauma-based, but history-based.

When she first came here, Theo knew only one half of the story. The blonde told him so much
about the brunette over the years and even more over the past eight months.

He and Draco's mother had a front-row seat to the unraveling of Draco Malfoy, that was Hermione
Granger.

Theo watched as the prejudice, turned into obsession, which turned into lust, which turned into
infatuation.

But he had only heard his perspective on their history. It was clear Draco believed it was one-sided,
so he shared their history with that same assumption, but as Theo got to know Hermione, he
learned the other side. He learned there was another side, one filled with many of the same
moments he knew Draco held close to his heart. Moments that probably would mean nothing to
people if it wasn't for something deeper taking place between the lines. She had them too.

The only problems in the situation were the trauma and the redhead. Both confused things for the
two of them. Both held them back from being honest and open with one another.
He doesn't know how Ron plays out in Hermione's mind. She seemed conflicted when speaking or
talking about him. Like an internal battle was taking place. Like two halves of her were never in
agreement over the ginger.

It was a problem she would have to face someday if Draco's plan worked. But it seemed right now,
while she was stuck with them, she was putting that to the side. Only focusing on the now.

And Theo can't imagine the complexities that fill her mind with trying to move forward sexually
with all of her trauma. Still, he agrees with Draco that she should be the one leading those battles,
handling them in a way that makes her feel safe and comfortable. And it seemed to Theo, she was
choosing to handle those battles with Draco fighting and helping alongside her.

"She chose you for a reason, Draco. I mean, I am not really an option because, you know, the
whole skin-on-skin contact isn't really my cup of burnt chocolate, but…"

He watches the blonde slump in front of him, and he decides this was not the time for his type of
humor.

"Draco, she trusts you. And that is not because of the trauma or because you are the only option. It
is because it is you. It is you and her. The Gryffindor Princess and the Slytherin Prince. A story for
the ages! There is something between you two. What that is, is for you guys to figure out, not me. I
think you are having this conversation with the wrong brunette in your life."

Draco lets out another exhausted huff before taking an inhale of his cigarette.

"You're right." The words come out with small puffs of smoke that he watches circle, spin, and
disappear in front of him. "When did you get so good at talking about this kind of shit?"

Theo laughs and places his stick in between his fingers.

This is how it is supposed to look, Hermione.

"After the 600th story you shared about the damn girl. And plus my vast, and dare I say, bare
knowledge I have gained from my own personal experiences with her over the last…"

The pillow knocks his cigarette out of his hand and onto his rug. He quickly stamps it out and casts
a scourgify on the stain before it ruins the 3,000 galleon Persian spider silk stranded tapestry.

"Shit, mate! Not on my rug, or I will prohibit smoking privileges in my library again!"

Draco snickers and leans back in his chair. "We'll find you a girl one of these days, Nott. Fuck
knows you need to get laid. So my girl doesn't walk in on you wanking in the shower again."

Theo's eyes shoot up at the blonde. He is lying. He has to be lying.

How did he bloody know about that?

Hermione didn't see, did she?

She hadn't acted like…

Draco gives him a knowing smirk before taking a drag of his cigarette. "She told me you were
listing off potion ingredients."

"You fucker! And you told her, didn't you?!"

"Of course. Nothing to be ashamed of, Nott. If it helps, she saw me masturbate that day as well."

Theo feels his eyes widen at the blonde. He had grown used to the snake's crass ways, but
sometimes he found himself still shocked at the things that came out of their mouths. This was one
of them. Mainly because it was sexual information dealing with him. He never was a component
within these conversations, and he was fine with that.

"And I saw her and…"

"Okay! That's enough!" Theo stands, ready to book it out of the library at the first mention of
Hermione's intimate details. "I am just now starting to be able to look at the girl. You want to ruin
all that progress by telling me how she moans, groans, and is bendy and other shit like that?"

"Bendy? Fuck Nott... seriously, we need to get you laid. You do talk like a virgin."

Theo moves to clean off and organize the tables they had made a mess of over the past couple of
days as they had been making the potion.

"Yes, well, that makes sense. Because I am one you prick. And it really doesn't bother me as much
as it bothers all of you."

"That's because you haven't had sex yet. Once you do, it'll bother you if you don't have it."

"Oh, is that why you shot off early this morning?"

Theo feels the pillow smack the back of his head again as he accios a couple empty vials to the
waste bin.

"I will pay you 300 galleons right now if you agree to never mention that to anyone again."

"I'm rich too, Draco."

His friend comes up beside him and starts stacking the books in order of where they are placed,
just the way he knows Theo liked them.

"Okay, I'll steal Granger's burnt chocolate recipe then."

Theo's eyebrows shoot up at his words.

Now that is intriguing.

The evil witch had refused to share the concoction with him and had the damn thing memorized
instead of writing it down. She had promised him that he wouldn't be able to replicate it. Because
she put special touches into the recipe that only she could do. He didn't believe a single word of
that shit. He wanted the recipe.
 But do you want it more than using this wonderful, once in a lifetime, truly world-shattering
embarrassing information on THE Draco Malfoy?

Absolutely fucking not.

"No way, mate. You aren't the only one who knows what priceless looks like. You really need to
stop making deals with people."

He watches Draco smirk as he bottles up the contents of the potion they had used to get Hermione's
magic back.

"This last one worked out well in my favor."

Theo shakes his head and starts to walk to place the books back in their designated spots.

"We'll see… "

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Depictions of gore.

 Hermione
Chapter Notes

Hello everyone! Thank you so much to all of you who have joined me in the making
of this story. Your support is greatly appreciated.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Pansy bought only black, green, and silver slips.

Now that Hermione is looking, she notices other than a few nudes and blushes, almost all of the
undergarments she bought her were green, black, and silver.

There is no red or gold.

Count on a Slytherin to always make a point…

She reaches down into the bag and grabs the slip on top, a dark emerald green one.

She never used these items. The only time she had was for last month's spectacle. Hermione
usually chose the more comfortable options rather than sexy ones, but maybe now that she and
Malfoy are… well, what are they again?

What had Theo called it?

A sex pact?

Yeah, I don't like the sound of that.

Means to sexual release?

Way too clinical, even for me.

Friends with benefits?

Maybe? But could I really call us friends?

I mean, he has had his fingers inside me, so I think I should be able to call him a friend, right?

Frenemies with benefits?

She smiles at the thought.

Yes. That is what we are. Frenemies with benefits. He would probably like that too; he seemed
amused by the phrase.

She takes her clothes off and slips the tiny piece of fabric over her body. It just hides what it needs
to. But it leaves nothing up to the imagination. She looks down and sees her nipples protruding
through the silk fabric and rolls her eyes.

That is why he opened the damn windows…

She thinks about transfiguring the slip into a different color just so the blonde out in the room
wouldn't have the moment of satisfaction cross his face like she knows he will. But she decides to
leave it for a reason she does not give herself time to analyze.

She walks out of the closet to see him leaning against the doorframe and turning his head.

For some reason, she perceives a feeling a bit different than the fire he usually provoked. It is more
anxious, more heated than hot, and she can feel herself flushing as the emotion takes over her as
she watches his eyes scan her body.

He likes what he sees, remember?

Why else would he agree to do sexual things with you? And remember Lessons 1 and 2. Don't yell
at him for admiring you, and don't cower.

You are not a victim, Hermione Jean Granger.

You are a conqueror.

"I always knew you'd look good in green."

He flashes her one of her favorite smirks before opening his robes and holding them out.

She walks in front of him and turns, allowing him to slide the robes of her enemy onto her
shoulders.

"Pansy didn't leave me with many other options."

She hears him let out a laugh next to her ear, and she becomes very aware of everywhere his body
is close to hers.

His hands move underneath her hair and pull it out of the robe to cascade down her back. He pulls
her into his chest and rests his chin on top of her head.

"Are you ready for this?" He asks.

She feels her stomach twist.

Was she?

He had shown her what they were hopefully going to do tonight if everything went according to his
outrageous, yet ingenious plan. She knows the ripple effects of this one decision. She knows they
will be handing the evil wizard another weapon into his arsenal against an already downtrodden
Order.

But this had the potential to save the three of them. This would put Malfoy in the Dark Lord's good
graces possibly. This would make Dolohov look even more like a fool. Maybe he would even be
punished. This would set them on a course to get out of this mess alive.

And if she could make it back to The Order, she truly believed it could be a turning point for the
war. It wasn't because she believed herself to be some unmatched leader or fighter. She actually
was not very good at the fighting part. It was because of the role placed upon her over the years.

The Golden Trio. Everyone acted like it was just some catchy nickname, but it became so much
more over the years. It was a responsibility. It was power. It was notoriety that she would have
been happy going her entire life without. She knew The Order needed some hope. Maybe she could
give them that.

They have to do this.

The benefits outweigh the costs.

"Yes." She is surprised to hear her voice sound steady and assured.

He drops his hands and starts rubbing her upper arms, and she feels herself lean into his chest a bit
more.

"A lot could go wrong."

She agrees. "It always can."

"If it does, what… what would you want me to do next?"

She closes her eyes at the implication. She really hoped it wouldn't come to Plan B, or Plan C, or
Plan D. This last month had been so hard without Theo; she couldn't imagine losing Malfoy too.

She raises one of her hands and wraps it around his rubbing her arm. "Beat me first, have sex with
me second, crucio me last."

She hears his breath catch as he presses his face into the top of her hair and squeezes her hand in
his. "Why sex before…"

"Because my mind still feels broken. And I am terrified of losing it for good. The Order needs my
mind more than my body."
It was true. The Order had made that evident over the last months as her body continued to be used
and abused. They didn't come. It wasn't a priority because she was still alive. The Dark Lord
promised to keep her alive as long as they didn't fight back. They didn't care what they used her
body for as long as her mind remained intact to help them get out of their mess.

Little did they know how broken she still feels every moment. How being used had made its way
into her mind, and fractured it in many places. She still fights the other her every damn day and
exhausts her mental capacity with the battle.

She didn't really have much else to give them, but she would give them all she could. Anything to
end this hell that had stolen their lives. It wouldn't steal anymore. The next generation would have
childhoods. She would make sure of that.

"You promise, Malfoy?" She turns to look him in the eyes. They are already looking back at her,
and she knows he is watching what he calls gold shimmer, as she watches his silver spark.

"I promise. If that is what you want. That is what I will do."

He looks down and starts buttoning up his robes on her. He really didn't need to. She wouldn't have
them on for long, but she lets him. He just needs to keep his hands busy.

"I hate this."

She smiles as she watches his long fingers work the buttons into the loops.

That's my line, you prick.

"Me too."

"I hate the Dark Lord."

"Me too."

"I hate them all enough to kill every single one of them and never lose a second of sleep."

She looks up and meets his eyes again, and smiles.

"Me fucking too, Malfoy."

He gives her a sad smile as he finishes the last button and places his hands on her arms again.

"Okay, I have the performance potion, the lust potion, Draught of Peace, blood replenisher,
murtlap, Draco's shit concoction; you should probably take that now, Hermione. Oh… and this…"

Hermione doesn't look away from Malfoy as Theo walks closer to them and hands them vials.

She extends her hand, and he places two vials in it.

One is Draco's countercurse potion. The other is a contraceptive potion.

"Do you need anything else?"

Malfoy slips the assortment of potions into his pocket and shakes his head, taking the vials out of
her hand and removing the lids before handing them back to her. "No, have the kit ready when we
get back. Just… just in case."

Hermione swallows the contraceptive potion first and then the countercurse potion. She feels the
burn intensify as the horrible taste consumes her as it travels down her throat.

She starts coughing and covers her mouth with her hand to keep the potions down.

"Yeah, absolute shit, right? The burning stops in a few seconds." Theo says.

She nods her head and closes her eyes, that are beginning to water as the burning sensation travels
down to her stomach and then subsides.

"I fucking hate this. I should be coming with you."

At Theo's words, she starts shaking her head adamantly. She and Malfoy agreed that Theo would
not be coming again. After this past month, and everything they had seen him go through, they
wouldn't let him do anything like what he had done again.

They would figure this out. The two of them. They had always worked well together on
assignments and projects when sorted as partners. Their minds seemed to work in tandem, evening
each other's strengths and weaknesses. She wasn't sure if he realized, but she always scored her
highest grades on partner assignments when they were placed together.

"Not happening, Nott. Just be ready when we get back."

She looks over Malfoy's shoulder and grabs the teacup she filled with burnt chocolate, and she
extends her arm towards Theo without looking up.

She feels his hand grab the other side of the cup, making sure their fingers don't touch.

"Thanks, Hermione. I… I'm going to go prepare the dittany. Break a le… Shit, well, that's a
horrible thing to say at this moment… uhh… best of luck guys."

She hears him walk out and shut the door behind him. She turns her eyes up at Malfoy, who looks
ill again.

"I always scored my highest grades on partner assignments when I was assigned to work with you."

She watches as his face softens and his eyes glaze as he is transported to his own memory at her
words.

"So did I. I rigged a couple of the partner sortings, if I am being honest."

Her eyes widen at his unwarranted confession. "You did?! So we would end up being partners?"

A smile appears on his face as he nods his head. "Yeah, especially in Arithmancy and during 6th
year when my grades were far from superb."

"So that is why we were always partners! Ron was convinced you were rigging it, but I didn't
believe him."

Malfoy shrugs his shoulders and runs his hand through his hair. "I needed a distraction and good
grades. I knew you would offer me both. If it riled up the wart, 10 more points to Slytherin."
She rolls her eyes and follows him to the fireplace.

She feels the peace over her with the lighthearted conversation disappear as they stand before the
floo.

Malfoy was right; a lot could go wrong.

There was a possibility that they may never come back tonight.

She feels her hands begin to shake as he grabs a handful of powder.

"We… we work well together."

There is a question in his statement. She looks up and gives him a soft smile as she shakes her head
in agreement.

"Yes. We are a good team."

"A deadly team."

She smirks. "A powerful team."

They both stand there, staring at the opening for a few moments.

"We can do this." She reaches down and takes his hand. It is trembling just like hers are.

"Yes."

He throws the powder into the fireplace and calls out his family's manor as he drags her into the
swirling fire and smoke. She feels his hand squeeze hers harder as they are whipped through the
space and land in the fireplace in the main entryway of Malfoy Manor.

He leads her, still holding her hand, down the hallways that are becoming more familiar now that
she has walked this same path a couple of times.

You can do this. You can do this, Hermione Granger.

Malfoy stops in front of her and releases her hand. She knows why, and she starts unbuttoning his
robes. He raises his wand and starts casting the backward disillusionment charms over her body as
she slips off his robes and hands them to him.

He pulls them on and then closes his eyes for a long time before rolling his shoulders and opening
them again. She gives him an understanding nod before he grabs her forearm aggressively, and he
starts dragging her towards the double doors into the drawing room.

Play the part, Hermione.

Play the part they all need you to play.

Last time, she had been overwhelmed seeing Master, being in that room, holding her walls, and
processing what was about to happen to her. She didn't see the stain on the floor that she knew had
been there after Bellatrix tortured her. She also noticed they had a new chandelier. If this one fell,
it could do even more damage with all the glass crystals and sharp golden edges.

This time, she is more prepared. She feels more assurance because they have a plan. They have
options. Options she can live with.

"Young Draco, welcome."

She keeps her eyes down and tries to keep up with the blonde, who is basically pulling her behind
him. As he stops, he throws her to the floor. She braces her hands in front of her to stop her head
from crashing into the ground.

She watches as one of her breasts falls out of the slip. She tries to put it back in but hears a familiar
whistle as her hands raise to cover herself. They freeze immediately.

Master said no.

She places both of her hands back down as she stares at the marble flooring underneath her.

"I can assume that you have had no progress with the Mudblood this past month?"

"I have not found a successful way to retrieve the memory, my Lord, no, but I have had a different
form of progress I think you would find beneficial for our cause and tonight's spectacle for The
Order."

She tries to control her breathing as she lays on all fours on the floor. It isn't hard to look scared. It
isn't hard to be petrified. At least she has that going for her.

She can see to her left the bottom of Master's body. She sees him transfer his weight back and
forth, like an animal ready to attack. She watches as a droplet of perspiration falls from her
forehead onto her finger she is tapping in a pattern against the ornate marble floor.

Play your part. Play your part.

"Oh? Please, Draco, explain."

"Would you like a demonstration instead?"

His cold hands rip her off the floor, and she stumbles up to stand next to him, still looking down at
the ground. Still trying to be the example of submission, of docility.

"I believe The Order would love to see the new weapon I created for you on their precious Golden
Girl. I can assure you, there will be nothing golden about her once I am through."

Her body starts to convulse at his words, remembering the times when Master burned her. What
that felt like. Like a million needles piercing every inch of your skin and going deeper and deeper
with every second until they touched every part of you. Leaving nothing unruined.

"I am intrigued, little Malfoy. But I have another use for the Mudblood first. Antonin, if you
would."

Everything in her freezes at the evil wizard's words.

This has never happened before. Is he going to have Master rape her like he had in the past? Is he
giving her back to him?

She feels the hands holding her start to shake, and she hears footsteps coming toward her; she isn't
sure if Malfoy's shaking increases or if it is her own.

Merlin, please, please no.

Anything but this.

I can't go through this again… and not with Malfoy watching.

"What is going on?"

His voice sounds annoyed, bored even, not fearful like she knows he is. She watches as familiar
shoes come into her vision, and small rough hands reach out and grab her wrist. As soon as his skin
touches her again, she feels her heartbeat increase, and her breathing becomes hard. The only thing
she registers is his hand holding onto her again, pulling her away from Malfoy and into him.

This can't be happening.

This can't be happening.

We… we didn't plan for this.

Malfoy, what do I do?

What do we do?

"Antonin believes he has had some success on an assignment I gave him months ago. If this goes
well, I have promised him some time with his toy. But do not worry, young Draco. We will let you
play with her as well after he is through."

The hand holding her wrist yanks her forward, but the cool hand on her shoulder holds her back.

"Let go of it, little Malfoy. Or I will make it worse for it."

She feels his hand on her shoulder squeeze as he holds himself back from attacking the monster in
front of her.

He might. This might all be too much for him, and he may finally snap. She can't let that happen.
She can't let him ruin everything they have been giving and sacrificing. She closes her eyes to stop
the tears from falling and occludes as much as she can before jerking her shoulder out of Malfoy's
grasp and falling into her Master's chest.

This is your home, pet.

This is where you will always end up.

She keeps her eyes closed as his rough hands press her face hard against his chest, making it
impossible to breathe. She is overwhelmed with the familiar scent of tobacco, sweat, and musk,
and she feels her body giving in as it had learned to do over the past half a year.

"Told you, it will always be mine." Master sneers.

She feels his other hand start wandering all over her skin, mapping it out to ensure it is how he
liked it. How he had made it.

"Who do you love, little pet?"

He doesn't whisper it. He wants Malfoy to hear him. He is taunting him. Edging him. Shoving this
in his face, claiming her as his property.

"You, Master."

"You missed me, didn't you?"

She nods her head into his chest as her entire body begins to convulse. She tries to calm down, she
truly does, but she can't. And as his hands travel to her front and start groping her chest, she hears a
whimper escape her lips.

His hands freeze, and she knows he thinks it was a noise of longing. She never was able to hide her
revulsion as he touched her. She could school her features and pretend to smile, but her noises were
never of pleasure. They were always of sorrow. But he didn't know that.

"Soon, my pet. Soon we'll be together again, and you will be happy. You will be back where you
belong, pleasing me the way you love so much. I promise my pet, it is almost over."

Before she registers what is happening, his hands travel into her hair, and he yanks her head back.
She lets out a yelp and closes her eyes, so she doesn't have to see him. His other hand squeezes the
side of her face hard, and she opens her mouth. A cold liquid is poured into it, and she has the urge
to spit it out.

"Swallow, pet."

She does.

The hand in her hair pulls her farther down, and she lands on her back on the floor as she feels the
cold, shiver-inducing liquid travel into her body. He straddles her, and she can feel his erection on
her stomach as he pins her to the ground.
This can't be happening.

This can't be happening.

"Nott, do it."

A cold object is pressed into her neck, and she hears a male voice whispering what sounds like a
long incantation she has never heard before.

When he is done, the room is silent.

The only thing she can hear is the man's breathing on top of her, her heartbeat pounding in her ears,
and the sound of another person up high, basically growling at the scene before them.

He is going to snap. He is going to ruin everything.

Stop him.

She braves herself to turn her head and open her eyes. She sees Malfoy glaring down at her with a
look of vengeance, disgust, and horror all wrapped up into one. Even his occluding skills aren't
hiding his emotions at this moment. He takes his eyes off the man grinding his erection into her
stomach, and looks at her. She watches as they soften lightly and turn into a look of devastation.

He is more trapped than you are. I think I would rather have this happen to me than be forced to
watch this happen to someone else time and time again.

She wants to reassure him. To tell him she will make it through this. That she was strong enough to
survive another encounter with the monster on top of her, but before she can, she feels the familiar
sensation of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named slicing into her head.

At the feeling, she closes her eyes and hears herself start to scream as he ravages her mind.

She had never felt something more horrible than when he did this. She would take a cruciatus over
this feeling.

He slashes, jerks, and moves quickly through her mind taking in what she is allowing him to see
but also trying to burrow. Burrow into what? She isn't sure. She isn't even sure how she knows he
is trying to do something different than looking for an obliviated memory. It feels like he is trying
to root himself in the nothingness, trying to find a crack in that veil to slip through and overtake.

As he continues to push, her body starts to shake, and her screaming becomes louder. He pushes
and pushes until she is convinced her head is about to explode, but right before she reaches her
breaking point, he cuts out of her mind. Her head lobs to the side as the room spins around her. The
weight on top of her chest presses harder against her.

"My Lord, it should have worked. It should have. Nott, must have said something…"
"I said exactly what you told me, Antonin. This didn't work because of you."

There is silence in the room, as she feels like she is spinning.

"I am disappointed in you, Antonin. Draco, please take what is yours."

A second doesn't pass by before she feels the weight on top of her disappear, and cool hands grab
the sides of her face. She tries to open her eyes, but when she does, she feels bile form in the back
of her throat, and a long groan escapes her lips.

"She needs a stabilizer potion, my Lord, if you still want me to use her for my example. Do you
grant me permission to give it to her?"

"Yes, feel free. Now Antonin, please come forward."

A vial is pressed up to her mouth.

"Open your mouth."

She does, and he pours the liquid in.

"Now swallow."

She does again.

Her body slowly starts to feel more steady, and she opens her eyes to a room no longer spinning
and silver eyes staring down at her. They are blank as they look over her face. He gives her a slight
nod before yanking her up to her feet.

She still isn't steady enough to stand on her own, and she feels herself grab onto his arm to keep
herself upright. He allows her to hold on as she presses her face into the side of his robes, taking in
the comforting scent.

"You have failed me again, Antonin. Others need to realize that failing me does not go without its
consequences. Do you agree?"

"Yes, my Lord. By the next spectacle, I promise it will work, but until then, I deserve a
punishment."

"Good. I will let you decide. Either Draco or someone else here will have their way with your pet
while you watch, or seven cruciatus curses in a row. Your choice."

"Seven cruciatus, my Lord."

He answers even before the choices the evil wizard gave him had hit Hermione.

Thank Merlin…

At least his obsession with me is playing to my advantage right now.

Her eyes are still closed as Voldemort curses her Master, and she hears him grunt loudly at the
pain.
She opens her eyes, and Malfoy grabs her by the shoulders, placing her in front of him. Her back is
to his chest, facing her Master on the floor, writhing in pain.

She finds she doesn't even want to blink as the seconds turn into minutes, and the groans turn into
desperate screams.

I love this.

I never want to stop seeing this.

Suffer.

Suffer, you bastard.

She feels a smile start to form on her face as Master throws up between the fourth and fifth curse,
but a jab in the back has it disappearing before it is noticeable.

He's right, can't smile. Can't enjoy this. Savor this later.

After Voldemort finishes the seventh curse, Master tries to stand but falls back down. Now he was
in the same position she had been in before. And now she was the one standing.

"Do not disappoint me again, Antonin. You have four more months."

Master nods his head as he tries to stand, bracing himself on a chair next to him.

"Now, let us move on to the show young Draco has promised us."

With all eyes on her again, she looks down at the floor and starts to whimper between breaths.

Time to play…

Act the part.

"Gladly, my Lord."

She feels him push her forward, and she stumbles to the ground, landing on her side, and she
begins to tap the pattern again.

She looks up at Malfoy as he pulls out his wand. She imagines all the times Master had done this.
Had pulled out his wand, needle, or rope as she lay cowering on the floor. She feels her body start
to shake, and tears begin to stream down her eyes.

"No, no please, please sir, not again, I can't…"

He waves his wand, and she feels her mouth clamp shut as the hex hits her. She can't talk. She can't
open her mouth.

"While dealing with controlling the prisoner, I created a new curse to promise cooperation on her
part. A curse that I would gladly give to the Death Eater armies to use against our enemy. Let's
show them how deadly it can be."

He looks down at her and sneers as their eyes meet, and he raises his wand.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

His magic hits her, and she reacts by falling backward onto the floor with a loud gasp. She raises
her hands above her face and watches as the curse makes it look like her skin is rotting away. She
feels nothing but starts screaming in horror and pain as she watches her skin disappear.

Remember when he stuck your foot in the fire?

Remember when he had you hold cigarettes against yourself for minutes until your skin, and the
stick melted together?

Remember when he talked about branding you with his initials and bought one right before you
were taken away?

With those memories playing out in her mind, she starts to wail in pain and agony, hoping it is
convincing. Hoping it is enough. She falls back onto the floor, so her hands can continue to play
the other part she needs to play.

"It will continue to erode her skin down to the bone if not stopped," Malfoy says.

"And how do you stop it?"

She feels his magic hit her again, turning her screams into sobs and deep guttural noises of anguish.
She keeps her eyes closed, not wanting to see what her body looks like.

"Thissssss…. This pleases me, Draco. Yes, I am very pleased indeed."

She hears the snake start to hiss as well, apparently in agreement.

"Not only do we have your Mudblood, but we also have this weapon. This new curse will be taught
to every member of our army. If you face us in battle or attack, be prepared for this to be your
gruesome fate."

The evil wizard goes silent, and she hears shuffling as she continues to cry on the floor, making her
body shake lightly.

"That is all. Draco, thank you for your dedication to our cause. It has not gone unnoticed."

Before she can open her eyes, she feels his magic wrap around her as she is lifted from the floor.
She feels her body float in the air and a door shut behind them before the magic disappears, and
instead, cool arms wrap around her, holding her against a familiar chest. She still doesn't open her
eyes but starts sobbing into him as he walks quickly down the hallway towards the floo.
"52 more steps, Granger."

She wraps her arms around his neck, and her body starts to convulse as it comes down from what it
was forced to endure.

"17."

She hears the floo pop and starts to cry harder and louder.

"Shit, what happened?"

She buries her face harder into his chest as Malfoy lowers himself to the ground and squeezes her
tightly the way she likes.

She feels as if she is going through sensory overload. Everything she had been holding in was now
spilling out of her. Out of control and completely manic.

"I… I don't even fucking know." Malfoy says.

"What do you mean you don't fucking know? What does she need?"

"Draught of Peace, nothing damaging happened for murtlap or dittany."

She feels a vial against her cheek, and she turns her head, opens her quivering lips, and swallows. It
takes a few moments before she is still and silently crying in his arms.

"Well, that's good, isn't it? So it went according to plan."

"No. It… Dolohov… Shit, I don't fucking know. He had Dolohov give her some potion, and then
your father did some ritual that I have never heard before, and then Gran… Granger started
screaming."

His arms squeeze her tighter, and she curls up even closer in his chest.

Malfoy continues. "Whatever the fuck it was, it didn't work. But whatever it was… it has to be the
real reason for keeping her alive for so long. I knew there had to be more going on than just one
damn memory."

A blanket is wrapped around her, and she opens her eyes to see Theo gently placing it on her
shoulders and around Malfoy.

"He placed his wand on her tattoo like you did to get her magic back."

Theo sits across from them and looks back and forth rapidly. "But it didn't sound like the same
incantation, did it?"

"No, I didn't recognize any of it, did you, Granger?"

She shakes her head into his chest.

"I'll look into it. If they were directing their actions towards the tattoo, then maybe it has another
use than just suppressing her magic." Theo says.

She raises her head off of Malfoy and moves her lips to the side of his ear. "I need to tell you some
things."
He nods his head, pulls out his wand, and casts a selective silencing charm so Theo can't hear her
voice.

"The Dark Lord was doing something in my mind. Something… something different. It was like he
was trying to break through it."

Malfoy isn't looking at her. He is looking at a spot above her head. She is sure that the curse's
supposed effects are making her look pretty terrible, so she doesn't blame him. They should be
going away soon.

"You are sure he wasn't just ensuring you hadn't occluded anything from him?"

She shakes her head. "No. I know what that feels like. This felt different. More violating."

Malfoy nods and shares the information with Theo.

"Have any guesses?"

The brunette shakes his head. "Not a one, but I will start doing some research right now. If you
guys could write down what you saw and experienced, that may help me figure out what is going
on."

With that, Theo stands and hurries down the hall to start on his research.

The arms around her start to rub gently back and forth.

"I am so sorry, Granger. I… I didn't know what was happening, and I couldn't…"

"You couldn't do anything. If you had, we would be dead right now."

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls herself higher until his chin rests on the top of her
head again.

"We did it." She says into his chest.

There is a long pause.

"Yes. But are you okay?"

"No. Are you?"

"No."

Neither of them talks again for a while.

"I never want to see you screaming on my family's drawing room floor again. Three times is three
times too many. Actually, I don't want to see you fucking screaming anywhere ever again."

She nods her head into his chest in agreement. "Every time you end up saving me, though."

He physically flinches at this.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I don't save you, Granger. I stand there and have to fucking
watch."
Is that what he really thinks?

He doesn't see him lying to the Death Eaters about Harry's identity as him saving them?

He doesn't see him holding back and playing his part as giving them more time, more opportunities
to get out of this hell?

She raises herself off of his chest to look at him. "Is the curse still going?"

He nods his head, casts a disillusionment charm to hide the carnage, and looks at her for the first
time.

"Malfoy, I would be dead multiple times now if you hadn't handled those situations as you did.
You know that, right?"

His eyebrows pull together, and he shakes his head slightly at her words.

"Did... Theo tell you?" He asks weakly, scared.

Now it was her turn to look at him with confusion. "What?"

As her face contorts, he realizes his mistake and tries to move past it. "Never mind, you're right."

He gently begins to push her out of his lap, but she grabs the sides of his face to make him stop and
look at her.

"Did Theo tell me what, Malfoy?"

"Please just let it go, Granger."

He has a secret about the night you were tortured in his home.

What could he be hiding about that night?

"No! Please, Malfoy, just tell me what happened that night at your manor. How about a secret for a
secret again? I'll even go first."

She watches his eyes travel between hers for a few moments before giving in.

"Your secret has to be a fucking big one. Because mine is."

She nods her head in agreement. "Okay."

She takes her hands off his face and rests them in the space between them. A secret, a big secret.
The only one that pops into her mind isn't really a big one, but maybe it will do.

"I… I didn't pass the flying exam."

He huffs and leans back on his hands. "Not surprising, and definitely not big enough."

She lets out her own grunt of frustration as she racks her brain for a secret, then it hits her.
"I… I know how to defeat You Know Who."

At this, Malfoy sits up and brings his face inches from hers. "You what?"

"Big enough for you, Malfoy?"

"Explain, Granger."

She moves out of his lap and leans against the wall. She probably shouldn't be talking about this
with him. This was some of the most valuable information The Order held.

But it was obvious he had no desire to serve the evil wizard and wanted him dead as much as she
did. More people fighting for the same cause could never be a bad thing, even if they weren't on
the same side.

"Have you ever heard of a horcrux?"

Malfoy nods his head at her, and she is surprised he knows what she is talking about. "I heard the
word once during a meeting back when my family was still favored by the Dark Lord, and then I…
I saw it again in your mind back during our occlumency lessons. I didn't dig, though. I assure you."

She knows he didn't dig. She would have felt it. He had been very careful inside her mind.
Something that did not go unnoticed or unappreciated by her.

"Do you know what one is?"

He shakes his head.

"It is an object that… that holds part of a soul inside it. To do the ritual, one must sacrifice a life.
And You Know Who did it seven times. That is what we were doing 7th year. We were searching
for them."

"So he split his soul and… and that is how he is still alive and can't be killed?"

"Exactly. When he went to kill Harry, he accidentally made him a horcrux. That is why he was
always the Chosen One. That is why he had to face him."

Malfoy's eyes stare at the space between them, and she watches his extraordinary mind work with
this new information.

"Then why isn't he dead?"

"Because there is one horcrux left."

He looks up at her. "The snake."

She nods her head at him. "Neville tried to kill her, but something must have happened."

"Bellatrix fucking happened. As soon as she saw that damn sword, all of her attention went to him
until she got it back."

Well, that is new information for her. So The Order doesn't have the sword of Gryffindor anymore.
It is in the hands of Malfoy's crazy aunt. Probably in her vault where she thought it was in the first
place.

"Damn it. If I have to ride a bloody dragon again…"

"I believe it is at Hogwarts currently. I'll look into it, but continue."

"That's it. I believe the battle between him and Harry destroyed the one inside of Harry since he is
using a memory to share information with The Order instead of their connection due to the horcrux.
So the last one is the snake. That is probably why he looks so ill and frail."

"And that is why we aren't annihilating The Order from the face of the wizarding world. His focus
and strength are elsewhere…"

Malfoy doesn't finish his thought, and Hermione watches as his mind takes him away. His eyes
glaze over and become vacant as he processes all the information.

"Care to share your thoughts?"

He shakes his head and comes back. "There are too many, and they are all over the place at the
moment. I will when they can actually be labeled as legitimate ideas."

He runs his hand through his hair again and rubs the side of his face. He looks tired. Defeated
even.

"You don't have to share yours right now if…"

"I was the one to call for Dobby that night."

The words make her mind empty. She stares at him as he stares back at her. She sees him try to
read her face, but it is numb as she tries to figure out what those words change.

Everything.

They change everything.

"What? No, Harry told us he saw Dumbl…"

"Yeah, like he would call on a house elf to save you. Those fucking old men didn't care about you,
Granger. They only cared about Potter killing the Dark Lord. The rest of us were just necessary
casualties to them. Pawns in a much larger game at play."

Well, to be honest, she agreed with him there. She did not agree with how the headmaster handled
a lot of the problems and situations they were forced into. He left them in the dark more than he
helped, and yes, while they had been children, they were always being pushed towards evil. Some
actual true guidance could have been extremely helpful. And after meeting his brother, she was
under the impression that Albus was the more caring and empathetic one out of the two.

"You… you were on my floor screaming, and then she started carving, and I… I couldn't take it.
So when she had me take out the snatchers, I found one of my house elves and told them to get
Dobby. To tell him Potter and his friends needed him to save them at Malfoy Manor. All of our
house elves were close, so I knew she would know where to apparate to find him. It… It was the
only thing I could do."

She feels tears start streaming down her face. She believes him. It makes a hell of a lot more sense
than a dead wizard or his brother somehow helping them.
Dobby never had the chance to tell them how he had known to rescue them before he died.
Malfoy… He had saved them more than she ever knew.

"I wish I could have stopped it, Granger. I wish I could have offered my place instead, like the
fucking weasel, but I couldn't. If I did, then you would have…"

"We would all be dead right now."

She looks up and sees him nodding his head slightly, looking anywhere but at her. He doesn't see
this information in the same way she does. He sees it as a pathetic attempt, a half-arse decision. But
it wasn't. It was…

"Malfoy… That… That changed everything. You realize that, correct? Not only did you lie about
Harry, but you also saved us all."

He doesn't say anything back to her as he looks down into his empty hands.

"You… You betrayed everything your family stood for, everything your father had worked for,
everything you had been pushed towards and trapped in by doing that. You walked away from it
all."

"I walked away a long time before that, Granger, but if I wanted to stay alive and protect…"

"You had to play the part. I understand, Malfoy. I understand doing everything and anything to
survive. I did it for the last half a year."

He nods his head at her but still won't look her in the eyes.

Why won't he look me in the eyes?

He saved our lives.

He should be proud.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Because I am sick of being the one to always fucking watch you get hurt and have to resort to
hiding behind house elves to do the work of saving you for me. And before you get upset, that was
not slander to elves; it was slander to myself."

She shakes her head in frustration, grabs both sides of his face, and raises it to her.

"You once told me you were fucking sick of the things I was saying about myself. Well, Malfoy, I
am getting fucking sick of you not seeing your decisions and actions as anything less than some of
the bravest things I have ever witnessed. Not only did you save me, but you saved all of the
wizarding world by lying about Harry, by calling for help when help was needed, by coming up
with this curse that buys us more time. I am amazed at your unprecedented mind that gets us out of
situations even I cannot see any solutions in."

He was a member of The Order. But The Order had no idea. They had no clue how they wouldn't
even have a cause if it wasn't for the man she was holding in between her hands.
 She knew she never had him figured out. That was part of the reason she always believed she was
drawn to him. Always found her mind thinking about him, noticing him. He was a puzzle that she
didn't know how to solve, but she loved the challenge of trying.

Since she had been with them, he had shown her that most of how he acted the last couple of years
was a performance, like they had done tonight. Like she is sure they will have to do again. He has
been doing this for years. And somehow, he still found opportunities to do good.

She pulls his face closer to hers and rests her forehead against his.

"Thank you."

He scoffs, and she feels his breath against her lips. And that fire in her belly starts to spark. "I don't
feel like it's enough."

"It is. It was. It has always been enough."

His hands grab around her waist and pull her closer to him.

"You saved me, Malfoy."

He flinches again. "Stop. Don't... Say that. Say anything but those words to me, okay?"

She is confused about why he is asking this, but she nods her head instead of fighting this time.

They both smile at each other, and she watches as his eyes go to her lips.

"Not to ruin a moment, but Draco, we got an assignment."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Sexual assault and gore depictions.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He gets to his feet and opens the door to take the paperwork from Theo.

It should be a location in the countryside of Paris if it was the one he created.

He flips to the third page and places his hand against the blank surface to make the address appear.

It is.

He looks back and sees Granger rising from the floor, still wearing that handkerchief she called a
nightgown, seeming scared.

Nothing in him wants to leave her after what they just endured together. Nothing in him wants her
to spend the night here alone with Theo, who won't even talk to her as she deals with everything
she went through.

He can't leave her. Not right now.

He can't.

Or, well, he could…

Not your best idea, Draco…

You are going to have to tell them.

Yeah… I am okay with that.

I need to tell her anyways.

He rolls the piece of parchment and turns back towards Theo.

"Nott, you stay behind. I'll have Zabini and Parkinson join me for this one."

It had been a location in Paris that ended up being one of the worst nights of their lives, so he
wouldn't have him coming if he didn't have to.

"Uhh… I guess I can, but I think maybe Pansy would be better with how things are between us,
and…"

"Granger, do you want to come?"

She jerks her head from the floor and looks at him with wide eyes. "What… What do you mean?
You want me to come with you to possibly reveal and destroy one of The Order safe houses? Are
you serious, Malfoy?"
Draco walks to the closet, grabs the bag on the top shelf, and turns his attention to her side of the
closet.

It was a bit chilly tonight.

She will need to wear a sweater and her muggle jeans. She would need some robes as well, but if
they happen to forget that piece of clothing, he could give her his to wear.

Yeah, forget her own robes.

He grabs one of the thickest sweaters he bought her and a pair of jeans and throws them at her out
the closet door.

She awkwardly catches the pieces in her hands. "Malfoy, I have no desire to take part in…"

"There is no safe house at this lead, I assure you."

There is hears silence as he opens up one of the drawers and looks at her selection of
undergarments Parkinson bought her. Granger hadn't been lying. They are all mostly Slytherin
colors. He smirks down at the clothing.

There was a reason he had always been friends with the nasty black-haired girl. He grabs a pair of
matching knickers and bra in black and tosses them over his head at her.

"What the hell does that mean, Draco?"

He hears Nott enter the closet as well, as he waves his wand, and a couple pairs of her shoes appear
on the top shelf. He placed them up high where she was unable to reach them, he and also placed a
disillusionment charm to hide them.

"There are my shoes! I knew you hid them!" She screams.

He grabs the pair of sneakers she had hit him in the side of the face with and turns back towards
them.

"Draco, seriously, what do you mean the lead isn't a safe house?"

"I mean exactly that. This lead will be another dead end. You have five minutes, Granger." He
walks out of the closet to give her some privacy, and he feels his friend breathing down his neck.

"What did you do?" Theo isn't going to let this go.

"The same thing I've been doing, Nott." He opens up the bag and checks to ensure he has the things
he needs.

"Malfoy, I am not willing to take the risk if there is even the slightest chance that..."

"There is no chance, 4 minutes and 6 seconds."

He walks out of the room and into the kitchen to grab a few more supplies. And hears two pairs of
footsteps following him.
"Draco, seriously, stop with this cryptic shit and tell us how you know this lead will be a dead
end."

"Because I created it, Nott. Been doing it for months now." He fills a thermos with burnt chocolate
and places it into the bag. He hears nothing from behind him for a while.

"How?" Theo asks.

"A large supply of polyjuice potion and lots of conversations. 2 minutes and 27 seconds."

"I hear you, damn it! Stop rushing me!" Granger yells.

He smiles down at his bag as he closes it and accios his robes.

Theo is staring at him dumbfounded. "You're serious. That's why all of our leads have been shit.
Ever since..."

"Yes."

Draco pulls on his robes, swings the bag over one of his shoulders, and walks back to her room.

This will be a much more enjoyable night with her there accompanying him.

Theo stomps behind him as he groans in frustration. "You are such a shithead, Draco! You could
have told me. And even without the lead, you still think taking her with you is a good idea?"

Draco shrugs and shrinks a blanket to fit in the outside pocket of his bag. He doesn't usually take
one, but he doesn't want her lying in the dirt the whole night.

He knew where they were going had an excellent view of a vineyard far off in the distance.

"We both know Zabini and Parkinson will be shagging the entire time, and I'll drop her off here
before heading to base to fulfill the paperwork and memory exchange. No one will ever know. One
minute, Granger!"

Something hits his left shoulder hard, and he lets out a grunt as he looks down to see her sneaker
landing on the floor. He smiles. "I'm going to go inform Zabini they are coming. I'll be back to
grab her. We will look into what happened tonight as well, so while I am gone, grab some books
for us and some parchment so we can do some research."

He throws the floo powder into the fireplace and steps in.

The base the army used to house the scouting unit along with correspondence, infirmary, and press
wass an old ministry building. They had converted the empty offices into barracks for those who
had taken the mark and other foot soldiers the Dark Lord recruited.

He steps out of the fireplace and jogs up the spiral staircase until he reaches the third floor, where
he knows Zabini and Parkinson's room is.

"Draco, what are you doing here?"

Great…
"The fuck do you want, Flint?"

He turns and faces his least favorite Slytherin. He never liked the bastard in school after he found
out about him dragging Theo into an empty classroom, and beating the shit out of him in front of a
group of Ravenclaws to impress some bitch.

"You grabbing Blaise and Pansy for a lead?"

Draco doesn't give him an answer as he realizes he has zero desire to waste his breath on the tosser.
Instead, he turns around and starts walking down the hallway.

"You have a long ways to catch up to my unit there, Malfoy. Better hope you find the Chosen One
himself or the missing Golden Girl."

Draco feels a slight smile form on his face at the mention of his witch.

Actually, Flint, I was inside the Golden Girl just the other day, so trust me when I say, I found her.

"I don't make the leads, Flint. Now fuck off before I return the favor for what I know you did to
Nott earlier this month."

The git scoffs and keeps following him. "Did you hear about us catching Percy Weasley? I think
Ron and Ginny were there as well, but left before we got word. The Dark Lord himself invited me
to the celebration, even ran that…"

Draco bangs on the door in front of him and casts a silencing charm between him and Flint.

Glad it was the Percy prick. He was probably my second most hated Weasley.

The door flings open, and Blaise stands in front of him with nothing but a large tray held in front of
his private areas.

"Shit! Sorry, Frosty. You are kind of interrupting something, and… fuck off, Flint! Oh, he can't
hear me, can he? You place a charm or some…"

"Lead came in; need you and Parkinson."

Blaise opens the door a bit farther, and Draco sees Pansy splayed out on top of the desk/table every
room was provided with.

"Fuck yes! We will finish this little game elsewhere Pans! Get some clothes on. You have the
address?"

Draco hands him the sheet, and Blaise looks down and nods.

"Be there in ten. Nott staying with," Blaise pauses and looks at the shittiest Slytherin to ever exist
before remembering he has a silencing charm around him.
"No, she is coming with us." Draco finishes his thought.

Blaise looks up, surprised, and forgets about holding the tray in front of his dick, dropping it to his
side. "What? But what if we end up having a situation like six months…"

"It'll be fine, trust me. I thought this through. Now cover up your dick."

Blaise moves the tray in front of him again.

"Not anything you haven't seen before, Malfoy." Pansy comes walking in to view with their bag as
she slips on a pair of trousers.

"Doesn't mean I want to see it again. See you in ten."

"You're turning the Golden Girl to the dark side, aren't you?"

He gives Blaise a passing smirk. "Maybe."

He pushes past Flint, who is still fucking talking, and Blaise shuts the door. As he makes it down
the stairs, he hears the bastard's voice again.

"You know I outrank you now, right? I could have you suspended or on probation for that act
alone, Malfoy, so you better start treating me with some damn respect!"

He must have finally realized the silencing charm. Draco doesn't stop his descent.

If you think I am going to waste another second here with you, instead of back with my girl, you are
crazy Flint.

He grabs the floo powder as Flint continues his angry rampage of a speech, and he floos back to
Nott Manor to find Granger with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot, glaring up at him.

"One minute, huh? You just took at least seven, Malfoy!"

"8 minutes and 9 seconds, actually."

He holds out his arm for her, and he watches as she rolls her eyes but does not step forward. Theo
comes walking into the room carrying a large stack of books along with parchment and quills.

"I copied all my notes about the tattoo when I thought it was just a magic suppressant. They are
tucked in the first book. This should hold you guys over for the night. I will try to expand our
research and look at a couple new routes."

Draco waves his wand, and the books shrink to fit inside his bag.

"Are… are you positive this is a good idea? I am not sure the benefits outweigh the costs."

Her voice sounds shaky as the words leave her. Maybe she doesn't want to go. He was probably
letting his excitement at the prospect of having a whole night with only her get in the way of
rationality.

They had just endured a stress-filled night, to say the least. She had been groped, touched, and
assaulted, for fuck's sake. Maybe she needed some space and time to deal with that. Merlin knows
he doesn't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

"It has been a long day for you. I am sorry if my request was insensitive to what you endured
earlier. If you need some time, feel free to take it. I will be back tomorrow morning and…"

"No!" She lunges forward and stops him from walking away. "I… I don't want to stay here. I want
to come with you. I just… you are sure we will not have a run-in with The Order?"

He nods his head and reaches out, and starts rubbing her arms.

"Positive, but seriously Granger, you don't have to come. It was a stupid idea. You can do as much
research here as you can out there with me, and after being assaulted tonight I…"

"After being assaulted tonight, I want to stay with you. I don't want to sit here by myself, or with
Theo, and not be able to talk or look at him. I want to come, Malfoy, and help you look into what
happened tonight. We are a team, remember?"

She grabs the strap of his bag and takes it off his shoulder, swinging it over her own. He smiles
down at her as she loops her hand through his arm.

He gestures to her pocket. "Leave your wand here, and no using magic while we are gone. Theo,
can you cast a detection to see if anyone is on the property?"

Theo raises his wand and casts a detection spell. "The coast is clear. I'll follow you guys out, just in
case someone shows up."

Draco nods and leads Granger out the door, with Theo following close behind. Even though the
spell said clear, Draco holds her back as he looks out the door and into the open hallway.

"The portraits will be bastards. Best to expand that silencing charm you have around Hermione.
She doesn't need to hear that blood purity nonsense."

He agrees and expands the charm as they make their way down the hallway and down the stairs to
the front door.

He can feel Granger's hands begin to shake slightly as they exit the house and start walking down
the drive towards the gated entry.

"You okay, Granger? You can stay here. It may not…"

"I'm fine, Malfoy. I have never been to Paris before. Didn't think my first time would be under
these circumstances."

She pauses and looks down at her feet. "I didn't think a lot of my firsts would be under the
circumstances that they were."

He pulls her tighter against his side and wraps his arm around her. "I am sorry he touched you
again."

"It… well, it isn't okay, but it's not as much what he does to me physically, but what he does to me
mentally. I… I don't like how easily I slip back into the other her when I am close to him."

Draco's teeth grind together as he tries to hold in his anger. Every bone in his body had ached to
demolish the man laying his hands on his witch tonight. After what he saw and then hearing her
say things in that other voice he hadn't heard for weeks, watching her body shake and tremble in
fear and submission, it may have been worse than watching his aunt carve that word into her arm.

Actually, yes, it was worse. Much worse.

"He is a monster, Granger. Do not feel guilty for doing what is needed to survive."

Theo opens the gate for them and shuts it as they walk through the wards.

"Can you hold onto me? I haven't apparated in quite some time." She asks.

He nods his head and pulls her into his chest, wrapping both arms around her as he apparates.

When they hit the ground, he stumbles over her leg, and he ends up falling forward. Draco tries to
catch his weight but chooses to pull tighter, and roll under her as he hits the ground hard with a safe
Granger on top of him.

Her legs end up wrapped around his thighs, and her small hands catch herself from crashing their
faces together. Her crazy curls cut off all vision except for her. But he is fine with that. He is even
fine with the damn stick poking him in the side as her chest heaves against his own.

"Already you two? Pans, we can't let them beat us to it."

Granger looks up over his shoulder, and he follows her gaze to the two snakes walking toward
them. She sits up, placing pressure right on a certain part of him that does not need to be feeling
pressure from Granger at the moment. He watches as she notices and starts to flush as she clumsily
pulls one leg over him and stands up.

"Sorry." She extends her hand, and he smirks as he takes it and stands up.

"I think you are quite aware that no apologies are necessary. Granger."

The flush immediately travels to her ears and down her neck. and she avoids his eyes.

"You really are here, Princess. Didn't think you had it in you." Pansy says.

"Things becoming too complicated with whatever you did with Nott, and then also having to deal
with Draco?"

He pulls his wand out and casts a jelly leg jinx at Blaise before he can laugh at his horrible
insinuation.

He falls to the ground as the almost laugh becomes a pained grunt.

"We have research we need to do together."

Draco looks down at the witch, surprised that she didn't bring up the fact that she knew this lead
was shit. He hadn't told her not to.

Pansy casts the countercurse, but she doesn't help her boyfriend as he stands back up and dusts his
trousers off.

"It was a fucking joke. Relax. So, you want to lead the way or what, Mr. Strategist."

Draco grabs Granger's hand and starts leading them through the woods. They walk in silence for
about 10 minutes before he sees the familiar creek, letting him know they are close to the shack.
He turns behind a large boulder and notices the abandoned hut down in the valley.

He motions for Zabini and Parkinson to come closer, and he casts a series of disillusionment,
silencing, and confusion charms around the group around the boulder.

"Okay, Zabini, help me scout and charm the perimeter. Parkinson, you set up here. Granger, there
is a blanket in the front pocket of my bag if you want it."

The women nod their heads at him, both drop the bags onto the ground and start rummaging
through them.

Blaise follows him around the designated perimeter casting detection spells as they walk. Draco
breaks them as they go.

"Sorry about the joke, mate. I always become a bit of a tosser when I have blue balls."

"How do you have blue balls after what I walked in on earlier?"

Blaise scoffs and stumbles over a root before standing upright again. "You bloody well know how
Pans gets, and the weird shit she is into. But we didn't get to the actual best part of the show, if you
know what I mean."

"Everyone always knows what you mean, Zabini."

"Yeah, well, I am not thinking with this," he points to the side of his head. "Too clearly right now
after being interrupted. It has been four fucking days of no sex due to Daph staying with us because
Flint's advances are becoming borderline assault."

Another reason why I hate Flint.

"I'll handle him."

Zabini nods his head and turns the corner back towards the shack. "Last time we were in Paris…"

"I know. That's why Nott didn't join us."

A part of him thinks he should just come clean to all of them. He knew they were both thinking
back to that night, anxious over the possibility that it could happen again. Even though Draco
knows it won't. At least not tonight. But their minds weren't safe, and even though the Dark Lord
taking the time to go through their minds was very low, he still couldn't risk it. Only Theo and
Granger could know his secrets.

"What's been going on with him this past month? He's always been a different lil fucker, but he has
seemed off even for him."

Draco shrugs his shoulders and pulls up a branch, so they don't walk into it. "Who knows."

They make their way back to the two witches. Pansy has all the paperwork organized, a map, and
other information given to them within the lead letter.

Granger set up a blanket right in front of the boulder and has books lined up in front of her. Draco
notices it is the same way she used to while in the library. The only differences are there is no
table, and she has an empty space next to her that she begins to pat with her hand.

He smiles and carefully walks over to not disturb her process and sits down, leaning back against
the rock.

"Did you play nice, Pans?"

Blaise pulls the raven-haired girl up and kisses behind her ear.

She smirks. "I never play nice."

The man lets out a feral growl and pulls her in closer, pressing her body into his.

Draco rolls his eyes and pulls out a cigarette from the pocket of his robes.

"You fuckers go have fun. Just put a silencing charm up, yeah?"

They don't respond as Blaise picks up the girl, and she lets out a pig-like squeal that makes the
hairs on Draco's arms stand on end.

"There is that animal squeal of hers that drove you to alcoholism." She whispers.

He feels himself smile and let out a soft laugh as he looks down at her. She is mesmerized by a
book she is already 27 pages into.

"How can I help?"

She hands him the book from her left and looks up at him after finishing the page she is on.

"You can start on this one. But first, I would like an explanation as to these fake leads."

He lights the cigarette between his fingers and extends it towards her. She looks down and slowly
leans forward, opening her mouth slightly. Draco places the stick in between her lips, and she
brings her own hand up after an inhale.

She deserves to know…

She honestly should know many things you haven't told her yet.

You probably should have told her before putting your damn fingers inside her. She probably
wouldn't want those hands anywhere near her if she knew who they killed.

He looks down at the packet of cigarettes in his hand. "I should have told you this earlier."

She places the book down in front of her and turns her body to face him, giving him all of her
attention. He is guessing she knew what he was about to say, warranted her full concentration.

"Sometimes, when I leave you, it is to go and handle creating these leads like we are on right now.
I bought a large supply of polyjuice potion. I use it to turn into random people from all over the
world and lay out a series of conversations over the span of a few hours or days, in an assortment of
different locations to create one lead that will hopefully get assigned to my unit. I am the reason
there is an increase in leads in Austria. I am the reason most of the missions the last four months
have been failures."

Granger leans back against the stone and looks up at the night sky above them. He can see her
mind working on overdrive like it always did as she absentmindedly twirls a curl between one of
her fingers, and her eyes move back and forth, focusing on nothing.

"You are doing this to protect them and yourself. Because before four months ago, a lead was
accurate, correct?"

He blinks at the brilliant witch beside him. "Yes."

"What happened?"

She places the cigarette in between her fingers, and Draco watches her exhale as the smoke
disappears above them.

He was about to change everything. He was about to end this little moment of reprieve for the two
of them.

He didn't deserve this anyways. It was time to own up to at least one area of his past he knew she
wouldn't like.

He takes a deep breath.

"I killed Lovegood."

Her body flinches. Her whole demeanor of calm and comfortable changes in an instant. He watches
her adjust her posture farther away from him, and her eyes look at him with wariness.

Don't look at me like that, Granger…

Don't pull away from me now, not after I have a taste of you.

He takes in a deep breath and forces himself to continue. "Six months ago, a lead turned out to be
accurate. She was there along with 51 Muggles and Muggle-born wizards and witches. They are all
dead now."

He hears her breath falter as she stares at the ground before her. They sit there in silence for what
feels like forever to Draco.

There were so many things she didn't know about him. And for every good thing, there were two
bad. For every moment she liked to call brave, there were many others she would despise him for.
Many others he despises himself for. Certain decisions and memories that he keeps the thickest
walls around, so he can function and breathe. She would look at him like the horrible person he
truly was. Look at him the way everyone else did. Would never offer him forgiveness again. Not
like he deserved it.

"Show me."

He turns his head back down to her, and he doesn't understand the Granger he sees before him. "I
don't think that's a…"
"I didn't ask for your opinion, Malfoy. I said show me. Now show me. Right. Fucking. Now."

He flinches as she reaches forward and yanks him closer, turning him more towards her.

Fuck, you're scared.

Hell yes, I am fucking scared. She is terrifying.

"Okay."

He closes his eyes, tears down the wall after a few minutes, and brings forward the memory as he
extends his magic into her. As he enters, he feels something added to the fresh, clean feeling of her
mind.

It reaches out to him as he maneuvers into the nothingness, and as soon as it mixes with his own, he
knows it is her magic. It feels as intoxicating as she tastes. It makes him feel lighter, safer, warmer
in an emotional way instead of just a physical way.

He hadn't been granted a lot of physical affection or warmth growing up. Yes, his parents doted on
him with things, outrageously elaborate parties, and words that made his ego huge. But touch,
affection, warmth was hard to find.

His father had always been a ruthless man. Believing that a man needed to be hard, needed to be
disciplined into becoming strong. His father was nothing like Theo's, but he was distant. Draco felt
more like an acquisition to his father than his actual son. Always trying to please him, to make him
proud, because those were the only moments when he was granted the slightest bit of warmth from
the man.

His mother had loved him. There was no doubt about that, but she was a cold woman. The epitome
of pureblood elitism and class. He had a wet nurse, and nanny, who were paid to show him
affection. He hated that. He hated that his mother paid others to do what he wished she would do,
but that wasn't proper. That wasn't what pureblood women did. He knew she wanted to love him
but honestly didn't know how rather than giving him things, after things, after things. And
compliments about his handsomeness, his intellect, his humor, his athleticism. The woman made
him feel warm in the only way she knew how, with her words. And she had been there for him
towards the end when he had needed it most. He would always appreciate and love her for that.

But they both left him always feeling cold. Always alone. Those feelings only grew as he was
forced to hide more of who he wanted to be, behind walls, barriers, and stones to keep himself and
others alive.

Granger's warmth was a changing point for him. It was during third year. The Weaselbee and he
found themselves in another face-off that always seemed to happen when they were in close
proximity to one another.

They both just completed a week of detention for their last roundabout. Draco was sure he had
started it by saying something completely prickish, while probably accurate to the redheaded
wanker.

The Weasel had charged at him, but being the guardian, and taking the brunt of the male Golden
Trio's actions like fucking always, Granger stepped in between them to stop it from going any
farther.

"Get out-a the way 'Mione!"

The wart kept pushing even though he was now physically using his aggression against the girl in
front of him instead of Draco.

"No Ronald! You need to stop this instant! You cannot afford another detention!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I can make my own bloody decisions!"

"I am trying to help you!"

The wanker didn't stop, and accidentally shoved Granger back into Draco as he tried to advance
forward.

He instinctively reached out to stop her from being pressed into him, not wanting any part of her
near him, when he had grabbed her by the shoulders.

It was the first time he touched her. And he remembers how he automatically noticed how warm
her skin was. How shocked, yet excited, it made him. Part of him was screaming to let her go,
while the other wanted him to pull her closer. To feel that warmth against him.

She is a muggle, no, a Mudblood. You can't want her. You shouldn't want her.

"Malfoy, let go of me!"

He realized he was gripping her hard now, and he basically flung her out of his grasp like she was
burning him. He looked down at his hands, flushed with pink splotches he had never seen before.

"Oh, stop being so dramatic, Malfoy! You won't get a disease by touching me."

"You sure?"

It really had been a question. He was convinced she placed some spell on him, some hex, or potion.
He had never felt this way before. A part of him liked it, while the other part was terrified that he
liked it.

"You are such a prick, Malfoy!"

He saw the carrot top coming at him too late and felt his hands push him into the wall.

All of his anger, annoyance, and hatred towards the Weasel disappeared. He could feel nothing but
her. Overwhelmed with that warming sensation.

He had to get out of there. He had to make sure he was okay.

He ran down the hall and up a shit ton of stairs, still holding his hands out in front of him. Draco
made it to the library and didn't let up as he worked his way to his friend's favorite table. He spent
more time there than in his own bed. He found the brunette taking notes next to a large book.

He was already looking up towards him as Draco got closer and sat down his quill.
"Theo I… I need your help. Do you have your healing kit?"

The wavy-haired brunette reached under the table and pulled out a large leather bag.

Draco placed his still flushed palms up on top of the table.

"What happened?"

"Bloody Granger happened again! But this time, instead of punching me, she did something to my
hands!"

Theo bent over the table and inspected his hands, looking closely, but pursing his lips in confusion.
"What did she do?"

"She… well, the Weasel pushed her into me, and I grabbed to stop her from touching me, and
when I did, she… I… I felt like I was burning. Like really warm. And look, just look at my hands!"

Theo looked back down at his hands. They were shaking and still flushed. He could feel the tingles
traveling through his body that had begun the moment he touched and felt her skin.

"Nothing is wrong with your hands Draco. They are just hot."

He let the back of his hands land on the top of the table.

"That is the problem! I'm… I'm never hot. Not like this! And why are they hot after touching her?"

His friend let out an annoyed huff and leaned back in his chair, taking up the book he had been
reading before. Draco stared at him, not understanding why he wasn't taking this seriously.

"I am serious, Theo! I think she put some spell on me or…"

"Mate, she has had a spell on you ever since first year when she came pounding on our box door
asking about a toad."

Theo said this as he turned a page, not even looking up at him. Not even acknowledging the
horrendous and completely inaccurate statement he just made.

"Excuse me?"

Theo groans and looks up at the ceiling. "It's called hormones, Draco. And she makes yours go all
over the place. That is why you are hot after touching her. You are not dying. You are just horny.
Now, stop being so bloody dramatic and help me find a resource that will help me correctly
catalog my newest purchase."

At his words, the brunette bent down and pulled a real human skull out of his side bag, and Draco
felt his mouth drop open similarly to the skull now laying in between them.

"Theo, what the actual fuck?"

He quickly took off his robes and covered the head before anyone had the opportunity to see it.

"Isn't it awesome! I am trying to figure out if it is male or female and its age, but I am not having
much luck. My buyer knew nothing about it. I thought maybe there was a magical charm or
something I could use to help."

He flipped to the index of the book he was reading like he was looking up a recipe.
Draco shook his head down at his friend. He was very different. Way different than the others he
had become close to since coming to Hogwarts. Most of them were a part of the Sacred 28 or at
least a Slytherin. All people he had been expected to become close with. All people he had
permission and approval to grow relationships with that would advance him along in his future
prospects, as his parents liked to point out every time he went home, and they asked him.

Granger would not be on that list. He would never be allowed to associate himself with the enemy,
with someone so low, so dirty, so warm, so infuriatingly brilliant, so fiery, so pret…

What the fuck?

He shook his head again at the abhorrent thought. "I am not horny for Granger, Nott."

He heard the boy scoff down at his book.

"Yeah, and I eat with forks. Don't kid yourself, Malfoy. The dragon in you always wants what he
can't have. And there is nothing you can't have more than that girl."

He shut the book and placed it on a pile to grab another one. He finally looked up at Draco, who
was still studying his hands, convinced that soon a bruise, or blemish, or wart would appear on his
skin as the potion or hex started working.

"One of these days, you are going to have to admit it. Because I am getting tired of your
melodramatics every other damn day about the girl. 'Her hair is a bush,' 'her teeth remind me of a
badger,' 'if she knows everything, do you think she knows everyone hates her,' 'I think she rolls her
eyes more than she keeps them straight,' 'who drinks bloody chamomile tea with milk.' Seriously I
have never spoken to the girl, yet I know how she likes to take her damn tea because of you!"

Draco couldn't breathe as he took in his friend's words. Pansy and Blaise said something similar to
him only a few days ago after he refused to take a potion to heal the scar she gave him when she
punched him earlier this year.

Maybe they were right. Maybe he was a bit obsessed. But he didn't want her. No. That was insane.
He just hated her. Yes, he hated her like he was supposed to, and his hormones, as Theo called
them, must be getting the emotion confused with something else. That had to be it. That explained
it…

He had been a fucking idiot.

Totally and utterly lost in denial and ignorance.

Draco knows that now, as his magic begins to play with hers, spinning, mending, and colliding in a
dance that they both seem to be enjoying.

But he had to go and ruin everything like he always did. Like it always would be. He had to go put
that divide between them again with his past actions and failures, and shortcomings.

He slips past the veil and places the memory before the both of them.

It had been a cold night. They were on a lead assignment almost every other night for two weeks,
and his team became complacent in the assignment. They became comfortable and less fearful that
anything would ever happen.

Theo is next to him, smoking two cigarettes at once and trying to make some form appear with the
smoke as he exhales.

Blaise and Pansy are shagging somewhere behind them, and Daphne was back at base, awaiting if
the lead ended up being accurate.

Even Draco was not paying attention that night. He had heard another rumor about the missing
Golden Girl, a new one that he was anxious to follow up on.

He was coming up with a game plan, when the detection wards they placed around the barn go off.

Draco jerks up with Theo following close behind him and looks down as a light travels through the
creases of the barn wood.

"Shit. Is… Is this happening?"

He raises his hand to stop Nott from talking. He would have to share this memory later, and the less
he had to occlude, the better.

"Go get Zabini and Parkinson now. Tell her to contact Daph immediately."

Theo nods his head and takes off low to the ground.

Draco keeps his eyes on the building in front of him as another light appears on the other side of
the barn.

"We have a live one?"

Blaise crawls on the ground next to him, looking across the field to the moving lights. Draco nods
his head and pulls out the map along with the raid plan that was created for the lead. He starts
duplicating it to hand out to the swarm of Death Eaters that would soon be on their way.

He hands one to Zabini as Nott and Parkinson come running back over to them.

"Daph said it will be a few minutes and that they will set a perimeter and to start now."

Theo's mouth drops open. "What, we have to go in there and attack?"

"That's our job, Nott. We don't have a choice. Follow the plan we discussed, and immobilize
anyone you run into, understand?"

The group of Slytherins look at him warily as they shake their heads. None of them wanted to do
this. None of them had wanted the damn mark on their arms. They had all been forced to by one
way or another.

Never choosing the side of evil. They had all been thrown in by others, drowning in it until they
realized the only option was to wade out and hope someone would come someday to help them.

He nods his head and stands up, slipping on his mask. Nott follows him while the other two go in
the other direction. They run silently through the heavily weeded woods to the back door of the
barn. No one is standing guard. There aren't even more than 5 wards placed around the door. The
Order was scrambling. Why the Dark Lord did not just take them out in one fell swoop was beyond
Draco.
"Shit, Draco… I… I don't think I can do this."

He squeezes his eyes shut at his brother's words. He didn't want him to do this. He signed them up
for this damn assignment to try to keep them, especially him, from doing things that he knew Theo
couldn't do.

"Just stay close to me and act the part. Make it look like you can. I'll take care of the rest."

With that, Draco kicks the door open as he hears the door on the other side of the barn splintering
open as well. The two lights they had seen are blown out, but the sound of scared people surrounds
him.

Draco raises his wand into the darkness and starts shooting Petrificus Totalus spells into the open
barn. As they hit, they light up the space around them.

Children's faces between arms trying to protect them.

Women fall onto the floor, trying to avoid the slew of curses.

Men raise weapons or wands, trying to stop them.

He sees curses being thrown from the other side of the room, and he is momentarily distracted,
almost is hit with a hex before Theo shoves him out of the way.

He sees flashes of light behind him, and he turns to see robed Death Eaters apparating into the field
and running towards the barn.

He waves an illuminate spell, and pushes Theo in front of him up a set of stairs the map indicated
led to the loft of the barn. That would keep Theo out of the battle and out of harm's way, hopefully.

Theo runs as quickly as he can, taking three steps at a time, and uses his shoulder to push open the
door. He collides with something and falls to the floor.

Draco hears a small yelp that did not come from Theo as he rushes through the open door.

He stops.

Lovegood…

Theo is scrambling off the eccentric blonde, pulling his mask off, and raising a shaking wand at
the girl on the floor.

"Hello, Draco. And Theodore. isn't it? Pleasure to finally make your acquaintance. I hear we are of
the few who can see Thestrals, is that correct?"

The crazy girl extends one of her hands past Theo's shaking wand, and he looks down at it with
wide eyes.

"Draco, wha… what'd we do?"

"Get out of my line of sight, Nott. Shut and ward the door now."
Shit.

What do I do?

He knew the order was to capture any high-ranking member and bring them back to base.
Lovegood was someone who qualified as a high-ranking member. He would have to hand her over.
He would have to watch what they would do to her. They would probably do the same things they
had done to Granger. Whatever that was… His stomach turns, and he feels bile come up his throat
as he raises his wand at the wandless classmate in front of him.

She looks up at him and gives him a smile.

"I am so sorry, Draco, but I do believe things will change for you soon. The whisps came by for a
visit the other night while I slept and told me all about you."

"Lovegood, are there any other Order members with you?" He is stalling. Not the smartest thing to
do during an attack, but he can't move yet. He can't make a decision.

She shakes her head and doesn't stop smiling at him like they are best mates.

"No, you will just have to kill me, Draco, do not worry. I understand."

His heart skips at her words, and he finds it hard to breathe. That was the option he was thinking
about. The only other option he saw before him that was possible.

He grips his wand tighter as he purses his lips. Lovegood watches him carefully. "You have never
killed before, have you?"

Draco feels himself shaking his head, and her smile falters for a moment.

"I am sorry, but please know, I understand and agree with you that I would much rather die a quick
death by your hands, than a slow one at theirs."

She pulls out her wand from underneath her, and Draco trains his on her moving hand.

"This is mercy, Draco. Now, let us make a show, shall we?"

She cast wordless magic that sends him slamming into the back wall. He recovers quickly, and she
is still struggling to get up, holding her right side with one hand and raising her wand with the
other. She is moving slowly on purpose. Draco knew the girl well enough to know this. She was
giving him his only opportunity.

He had to make a choice. He had to make it now.

And both choices sucked.

They fucking sucked.

They always fucking sucked.

He had to choose whether to become a killer, or become a true Death Eater at that moment. Which
one did he prefer? Neither. None of the above. Next question, please.
"Avada Kedavra!" The green sparks leave his wand and crash into the petite blonde. She falls to
the floor with that same damn pure smile on her face. And Draco feels another crack form in his
soul. A crack he will always feel. A part of him that will always belong to this moment.

The memory ends, and he pulls out of her mind but keeps his eyes closed. He can hear her crying.

That also fucking sucks.

She is always fucking crying.

He covers his ears. He can't hear her. Not right now. Not after living through becoming a murderer
again. He understood how Theo struggled to hear Granger's voice or to look at her after convincing
himself he was a monster. Draco lived with that problem with every one of his breaths. He had to
keep walls up around so much to be able to live in close proximity to her. To allow himself the
ability to treat her the way he always dreamed. The only solace being she didn't know everything.
She didn't remember everything. But now, she knows. She knows one of his darkest moments.

Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer!

He feels warm hands wrap around his own and pull them away from his ears.

She is touching him. Why is she touching him? Why is she touching the hands that killed her
friend? Ended her life, before she even had a chance to really live it?

"It was mercy, Malfoy. It was the only mercy you could give her." She whimpers.

He feels her thumbs wipe away the tears from his face at her insane and impossible words.

"I killed her, Granger. I fucking killed her. She is gone because of me. That is not mercy."

"It was Malfoy, just like she said. You made the best decision you could. The most selfless
decision you had the ability to make. You know just as well as she did what they would have done
to her. They would have treated her just like they treated me, but they wouldn't have kept her
around. It would have been slow, and torturous, and painful… you took that away from them. You
didn't let her become some piece of propaganda for fear. You let her die with dignity."

He starts shaking his head uncontrollably at her words. She was wrong. She was crazy. This was
his fault. Everything was always his fault. He was a murderer. He was evil.

"I am evil, Granger."

"No, you are surviving, Malfoy."

Her hands travel down to wrap around his neck, and she pulls him into her warm, beautiful, full of
goodness body.

He is tainting her. Someone like him should never touch someone like her. Someone so good, so
selfless, so strong.
She is hope, and he is hopeless.

A lost cause.

There was no coming back from all the things he had done. That is why he had become so
accepting of not making it out of this war alive. What did he have to live for?

His mother was dead. His father was gone. His future was stolen.

And while he always said he could live with the decisions and choices he made to keep her safe, to
get her to safety, he was lying. What Draco really meant was he was capable of living a bit longer,
breathing the few more breaths needed until his mission was accomplished, but he didn't want to
live with any of this anymore. He had no idea how he ever could.

He tries to pry her hands from around his neck, but the brunette is bloody strong for her small
frame.

"No, Malfoy! Do not push me away right now. Do not try to be alone in this. I… I won't let you."

Her warm, perfect lips press against his.

Draco squeezes his eyes shut harder at the action. He doesn't kiss her back, but she doesn't let up.
She presses, and licks, and nibbles on his lips as she whispers pleads for him to respond. Pleads for
him to give in, to let her in, to not handle this alone.

It doesn't come naturally to him to let people in. To be open, honest, or transparent with them,
especially in moments of weakness. He had to hide every weakness. Every emotion and memory
could be used against him and others. He had never been able to lean on someone, feel affection,
kindness, and empathy.

But she is offering it all right now.

He could take it if he wanted.

He knows he shouldn't.

He knows he is being selfish as he opens his mouth, and he pulls her into his chest, whimpering
between her lips as he lets her in. Lets her consume it all. To take everything he is throwing,
pressing, pushing, forcing at her.

And she takes it.

"I am ruining you."

He says it between desperate kisses as he threads his hands into her hair and fists it into one of his
palms.

He feels her try to shake her head, but with his firm grip on her hair and lips, she can't move.

"I can take it, Malfoy. I can take it all. Let me carry some of it. Please."

He slows their kiss and rests his forehead against hers, pressing it hard, still not feeling close
enough to the glory that was this woman in his arms.

Her tears are wetting her face as well. As she rubs his cheeks. "This is war. And you are trapped
on a side you don't want to be a part of. You showed her mercy, and anyone from The Order who
hears your story will agree. And… and when we get out of this. I will fight for you. You hear me,
Malfoy? I will fight for all of you. To ensure you are seen the way you should be seen. To show
and share your side of the story. I promise."

He finally opens his eyes to see a Granger he recognizes. She is determined. She believes
wholeheartedly in every word coming out of her mouth. And a part of him feels that ridiculously
impossible hope that she always gives him. That maybe, it all could be true.

If anyone can, it is her.

If anyone can save us, it is her.

He feels himself nod his head as she gives him a soft smile before pressing her lips against his
gently before pulling away.

"You… You have a lot of secrets, don't you?"

He runs his hands over his face and scoffs at her ironic words. "You have no idea."

"Will you promise to tell me as many as you can?"

He looks down at her, surprised.

It was one thing to be there for someone in a moment of weakness. It was another to ask them to
show you everything. Every dirty, disgusting thing about themselves. There were very specific
things that he never wanted her to know. Was grateful she didn't have to live with the knowledge,
with the burden like he did. He could handle carrying them by himself easier than he ever could
take her knowing.

"I have a lot of grey in me, Granger."

"Silver."

Draco gives her a puzzling look, not following.

"What?"

"You are silver, not grey. Silver is malleable, formable, just like you. Just like the decisions you
have had to make, and how you form and change to your environment to survive." She picks up the
two books she had discarded before he showed her the memory and places one in his hand. "There
is nothing grey about you. It is all silver to me."

He stares at her as she opens up the book to page 28, pulls out a piece of parchment and a quill, and
begins to read.

Draco keeps staring at her for a long time until she finally looks up and gives him a coy smile
before opening his book and pointing to the page.

"Now, let's get to work."

He blinks and nods his head at her. But before he starts reading, he takes off his robes and places
them on her shoulders. She looks up at him and smiles as she pulls them on and buries her face into
 the collar.

He pulls her back to lean on the boulder with him, and they both dive into the books Theo gave
them.

Taking notes, sharing thoughts, and bouncing ideas off each other in a succinct pattern that they
always fell into when they worked together.

And the hours fly by.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - depiction of death.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

Guys… I love Draco and Hermione, but I adore writing Theo.

The sea breeze has made his hair curl even more than normal. He can feel the thick coating of the
textured salt, making them stick together and create firm ringlets that travel down the back of his
neck.

He should have braided it before coming from below deck.

But his crew just brought on the loot and captives from the most recent siege, and he was the only
man for the job ahead.

And because he was in the middle of having a very intimate moment with one of the deck maids
that always seemed to find her way into his private rooms, right before his second in command
banged on his door.

"How are the earnings today, boys?"

His crewmates move to show him a large pile of precious gems and other forms of currency taken
from the ship to the left that was slowly sinking into the sea.

"Excellent, now…"

He hears something slam extremely close to the side of his head.

He jolts up, feeling a piece of parchment plastered to the side of his face, held to his skin like glue
by the saliva from his open mouth.

"Langster-Hughes-takes-no-prisoners!" He yells, half asleep.

He blinks rapidly, confused to find no ocean, no sails rasping in the sea breeze, no hook where his
left hand should be.

He blinks again, and a very terrifying black bob is sneering back at him.

"Pans?"

He rubs his palms into his eyes and tries to remove the parchment from the side of his face. He
ends up ripping the sheet in half, with the one coated in his dry spit still horrendously stuck to his
cheek.

"Nott, or should I call you Langster?"

Theo darts his eyes away from her.

Shit, he must have said something out loud. Hopefully, he hadn't said anything too incriminating,
or the minx of a woman would surely destroy him with it for the rest of his life.
"Funny. What are you doing here?"

He looks down at the table he was using as a bed, remembering how he must have fallen asleep
while reading more on different possibilities for Hermione's tattoo and the ritual from yesterday.

Pansy jumps up on the tables and splays her legs in front of him before leaning back on her hands.

Theo instinctively moves back further in his chair, even pushing farther from the table itself.

"I am apparently babysitting until Draco gets back from handling the paperwork and exchange."

She turns her gaze to the books surrounding her, and Theo moves to pull the 800-year-old ritual
encyclopedia out from underneath her arse, trying not to touch any part of her.

"The Princess is sleeping. She left her and Draco's work on the table in the kitchen for you."

Even though it is extremely obvious Theo is trying desperately to get her arse print off of his
collector's edition book, the woman doesn't help at all, actually pressing her weight harder with her
left arsecheek.

She is infuriating.

Theo lets out a huff before slamming his open hands onto the table, giving up.

"Pansy, please move before your fucking arse cheek is imprinted into my book."

Pansy sneers at him again, rubbing her behind harder onto his book before jumping off the table
and pulling her skirt down a bit.

He thinks she is going to go sprawl out on a chair and start skimming through Witch Weekly like
she usually did, but instead, she eyes him up and down in a way that makes Theo's skin crawl. The
woman had the powers to make him cower with just a look.

"What?"

He successfully pulls the parchment off the side of his face, and he rubs at the spot as she moves
forward and leans over the table, still searing those eyes that promised nothing but pain into him.

He watches her scoff at him, and a humorless smile grows across her face as her eyes look down.
His eyebrows pull together before following her gaze, and then he can't breathe.

"My, my, my, now that is unexpected, Nott."

He rushes and grabs a book to hide the erection he must have gained from the incredible dream
with the deck maid.

"Unexpected and… impressive indeed."

He feels his cheeks becoming red at her words. She had no shame. None. She and fucking Zabini
were made for each other.

"So what was the dream, Nott? What are your fantasies?"

He scoffs at her and shakes his head, thinking about anything and everything to get his cock back
down to where it should be.
That damn stain on my ceiling,

Blaise and Draco's bare arses.

Forks.

Yeah, forks they always do it.

He feels his appendage softening at the memory.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

He looks up at her, appalled to see her knowing smirk looking straight at him. The woman knew
she scared him, and she loved it. She loved making him uncomfortable and flinchy, as she called it.

That is why he avoided the minx every chance he got.

"I have as much desire to know the crazy shit you are into than to have my entire library set on
fire."

Now that he can, he stands up and goes down the hallway. Trying to get away from her as fast as
he can.

"You need a woman who forces you out of your weird comfort zone, Nott! Have fun in the
shower!"

His feet falter at how truly telling he must be, as that was his exact plan at the moment.

He hadn't been able to get off at all this past month. Since the guilt, shame, and utter devastation of
hating oneself made it hard to wank for him.

He walks past Hermione's room and peaks in through the crack in the door to see the witch
standing up with her back to him, seeming fixated on the bed in front of her. Her foot is tapping,
and her hands are on her waist, one holding her wand. She is standing like the bed is in trouble for
something.

He hears her let out a huff and then raise her wand to the bed. The four large posters, beautifully
draped with dark emerald green curtains and golden tassels, disappear. The mattress and the sheets
and pillows float to the ground in front of her.

She stands there staring at it for a few moments before taking a couple tentative steps towards it,
detouring quickly to grab Draco's pillow and blanket off of the ground and wrapping herself in
them as she steps up onto the bed, standing in the middle of it.

Theo watches as she just stands there on the mattress. Watching as her shoulders start to move
sharply.

You shouldn't be watching this.

He really shouldn't.

He backs away down the hallway, grabs some clothes and a towel, and goes to the other bathroom.
That was the one thing he missed about his old room. His waterfall heads coming from all
directions shower. The hallways bathroom was fine, but it is not as glamorous as his personal
bathroom. He had never thought he would be giving it up to the Gryffindor Princess.

He turns on the water and lets out a sigh as the heat relaxes the muscles. They are extremely tight
from bending over a table, researching all night, and falling asleep on the hard surface.

He had found nothing.

10 hours of scanning book after book, reading handwritten annotations, scouring his personal
library and the library of the main house for anything helpful, but coming up short.

His father had placed wards and detection spells on his office after his last visit with Dolohov, so
Theo was unable to venture in and look for other resources. He is convinced what he needs is there
or with his father in Scandinavia. He was helping Dolohov with whatever this ritual was. He had to
have the information on why.

The water cascades down his body as Theo leans into the wall of the shower, enjoying the slight
sting it causes over his skin.

He closes his eyes and lets his hand wander down to see if his cock is still willing to make an
appearance again.

What fantasy today, Theo boy?

Office romance? Nah.

Librarian making advances as you show her how to correctly file her books away? Maybe.

Or… we could visit the deck maid again?

He tilts his head to rest against the wall as he creates the image in his mind, and his hand starts to
place long and slow strokes.

It was a fantasy he uses often, so the small, all wood room with one large square window that had
a view off the back of the ship towards the sea, falls together quickly. The large bed sits on a stage,
separating it from the rest of the room with a desk, two chairs, and a large armoire for all his pirate
needs.

Theo walks into the room, listening to the sound of his knee-high leather boots lightly squeaking as
he goes to sit in the chair. He starts to take off the hook holder that was belted to his arm that had
different attachments for his wand, hook, bludger etc. When he hears his door open and shut
quietly.

Okay, who do we want today, Nott?

Daphodil?
No, he stopped fantasizing about her when he started seeing her, and being partners in cards, and
realizing there was not a chance in hell that it would ever happen with the gorgeous blonde. They
were too personal by association now. She didn't do it for him.

Lavender Brown?

Nah, that is weird. She's dead.

Susan Bones?

He used her last time.

How about a redhead?

How about THE redhead?

He hears a cough alerting him that he is not alone, and he turns and sees tall, strong, yet beautiful
Ginevra Weasley leaning against the door with her arms crossed.

He feels his blood rush downward as he looks over her body.

Yeah, this always works.

Like his deck maid always wore, she has on a thin sheath made of an off-white cotton that laced up
the front. Completely accurate attire to be wearing for the time period and aesthetic. Theo was
nothing but thorough, even in his fantasies.

The front is already unlaced, giving him a view of the valley in between her peaked breasts.

His hand starts to move quicker.

"Would the captain like my services for the evening?"

She smiles confidently down at him as he twists the chair around to face her. There is not a hint of
hesitation or timidity from the redhead. He didn't know her very well, but the small moments he
had run into her always made him believe she was something to be respectfully feared.

"Which one of your services are you offering?"

She sends him a wicked smile before starting to walk forward as she crosses her arms and pulls the
cotton sheath over her head and onto the floor.

Action over words. Very different from Theo. He liked that.

He also liked the ginger goddess before him and the light and perfectly unmarked skin now on
display.

He leans back in his chair, taking her all in as she comes to stand before him, placing her hands in
her hair and pulling it off her neck to tie it up.

Oh, Theo really likes where this is going.

"The service of my mouth."

Theo watches as she slips two of her fingers into her mouth and sucks hard before letting them go
with a pop.

He feels his cock twitch in his hands, and a pressure build in his lower abdomen.

With sheer confidence, Ginevra gets on her knees and unbuttons the front of his trousers.

There are only buttons of course, because during this time period, zippers did not exist.

She opens the flap and begins to unlace his undergarment.

Because that was how undergarments for men were made then.

She leans back when she is done unlacing, and Theo moves to take his ready cock out of his cage.

He watches as the ginger goddess looks down with a hunger that makes him grow even larger. He
removes his hand, places both on the arms of the chair and leans back, signaling for her to
continue.

She doesn't hesitate.

She raises herself back up and, with only her mouth and tongue, maneuvers his length into her
mouth and begins to suck hard. His head tilts back, and a groan escapes his lips as she works his
cock up and down vigorously.

He thinks about reaching out, and fisting her hair with his hand, and pressing her harder onto his
cock, but doesn't do it. Even in his fantasies, that kind of touch just didn't come easy to him.

Plus, having no experience whatsoever in actual sexual encounters, he stole a lot of his fantasies
and moves from things he overheard Draco and Blaise talking about. He had no idea if he would
like any of this in real life, but he was quite content with enjoying it in his mind.

His hand on his cock moves quicker, and his breaths become labored.

He opens his eyes and moves his head down to see her looking straight back at him with his entire
length in her mouth and down her throat.

He feels her throat contract around him, and his whole body jolts at the electrifying sensation that
courses through him. He feels her smile around him and lets out her own moan that sends shivering
vibrations up his sensitive skin and into his balls.
She raises her hands and starts pinching and massaging her breasts, making more of those loud
moans travel into her mouth and straight into his cock.

Theo sees her press her thighs together, wanting some form of friction as she gets turned on by
sucking him off. A redness appears on her cheeks and on her breasts. Since she was so light-
skinned, he knew she welted and flushed easily. He witnessed her skin reddening many times
throughout their time at Hogwarts when she would run her hand across her upper chest. A habit of
hers, if he remembered correctly.

"Easier on yourself there, Ginevra. Leave that skin untainted."

She nods her head and takes her hand off her breasts as she sinks his sex farther down her throat.

He feels his breath catch in his throat as he watches the woman start working him hard again.

He thinks about reciting the ingredients needed to make a pepper up potion, but she lets out another
moan and slowly drags her teeth up, and Theo feels the pressure of his release start.

He keeps pumping himself as the blinding pleasure courses through his veins and travels to every
corner, edge, and ending of his body.

"Fuck, Ginevra!…"

His balls tighten and ache as he releases all over the shower floor.

He leans his body back against the wall and takes in a couple deep breaths as he watches the
substance slowly follow the current of the water down into the drain.

He always wanked in the shower. Much more efficient and less messy than doing it anywhere else.

Theo continues to clean himself off, before he hops out the shower, dropping the towel, and
moving to grab his clothes.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

He almost jumps out of his skin at the assault on the door as it begins to open.

He scrambles and turns to grab the towel he had thrown on the floor to try to cover up as much as
he can.

"Princess was right; you do have a nice arse there, Nott. Have a good wank did we?"

Blaise, I am going to murder your horrendous girlfriend.

Draco, yours would be next if I hadn't already beaten the living shit out of her.

"Shut the damn door Parkinson, now!"

He decides to fall to the ground and cover his lower body with the towel instead of the time
laboring task of wrapping and securing it around his waist.

By the time he looks back at the door, the minx is already shutting it and laughing hysterically.
"Hey, I knocked! Lock the fucking door next time, Nott!"

If one more woman pulls a peeping Petunia on me, I am going to ward myself in every damn time I
am naked.

He lets out a frustrated grunt and contemplates how horrible it would be to sit here on the floor
until Draco gets back instead of venturing out into an enclosed space with a lion and a snake that
would bite.

It was definitely safer.

But they needed to go over all of their research and compile their thoughts. Hermione had written
him her account of what happened, and so did Draco. He needed to look through both of their
perspectives carefully.

He gets up off the floor and pulls on his clothes before hesitating with the doorknob in his hand.

Dear Merlin, what did I ever do to deserve this fate.

He opens the door and is assaulted with the warming aroma of burnt chocolate coming from the
kitchen. He smiles as he walks in and finds it empty except for the large pot of the creamy
goodness and the stack of papers and books he had given Draco and Hermione to go over while
they were scouting last night.

He pours himself a full teacup and sits at the small kitchen table, looking through the notes and
books Hermione and Draco compiled.

He liked her system of organization, but today it seemed a little different from the one he had seen
her use in school. Instead of listing on the pieces of parchments with color-coordinated cross-
references placed in the below margins, he finds a grid system that honestly made it much easier to
comprehend her insane mind process. He is guessing that was Draco's doing. The handwriting
looks like his. And only that man would be able to understand her mind and thoughts, and be able
to organize them in this way.

He wonders if Hermione liked this change, or if there had been a bit of a fiery debate between the
two on whose system was better. Theo smirks down as he takes another sip of his drink and
spreads the sheets in front of him.

They really hadn't found anything new either. All three of them delved over these books for two
months and probably could correctly quote large sections of the works. If there was information
they needed to help them understand what the hell his father and Dolohov were up to, it wouldn't
be in these books.

"I was doing you a favor, Princess. Don't blame me that Slytherin colors are the ones that
compliment your skin tone the best. What a crazy coincidence."

He feels himself roll his eyes like he knows Hermione is as well, at Pan's lame excuse.
"Sure, Pansy, what a crazy…"

Theo feels the hair on his arms rise off of his skin at the sound of her voice, and he casts a selective
silencing charm before she finishes her sentence. He turns his attention back down to the papers in
front of him as he hears the two witches enter the kitchen.

"Oh, Nott, stop it! I just saw your arse for Salazar's sake. No need to be all prudish now."

If Hermione wasn't here, he would blow up at the nasty woman, but her presence deflated him into
wanting to disappear into the walls.

A few moments go by where he hears Pansy moving about the kitchen, but he hears nothing from
the brunette he knows is still standing by the doorway.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on between the two of you? Things have been off for weeks now,
and Draco canceled all the gambling nights, and now you two won't even look at each other. Did
you fuck or something?"

"No!"

The words shoot out of his mouth as he looks up and glares at the woman sitting on his countertop.
She was always putting her arse on places arses did not belong.

"Well, that makes me think you fucked even more. Does Draco know?"

He starts out of his chair, but the small brunette beats him to it. He sees her waving her finger up at
the Slytherin with a look of complete rage on her face as her mouth works, saying things so quickly
and with such assurance, there is no possibility to read her lips to know what she is spouting.

The look that Pansy gets across her face makes Theo think that whatever it is, it is not only putting
that horrible rumor to rest before it is even started, but that the snake may be actually regretting the
words that had left her mouth. Something Pansy Parkinson never, and he repeats, never does.

Hermione places her hand on her hips, glaring up at the girl, waiting for a response. After a
moment, Pan sneers and nods her head.

"Sorry, Nott."

Theo blinks. He has never heard the woman apologize to anyone in his entire life.

"Whatever, Parkinson."

He hears the sound of the floo pop, and sees Hermione's head twist instantly at the sound.

They all follow her out of the kitchen and into her room, where Draco is pulling off his robes and
gives her a soft smile as she takes them out of his hands and says something to him that he winks
at.

They are disgustingly cute together. But after this is over, and if we survive it all, I am kicking them
out. They can find their own place.

Draco looks over his shoulders, and his eyes widen.

"Granger, what did you do to the bed?"

Theo doesn't need to hear her response to understand what she has done. She was trying to get
another piece back from the monster in her past. It would be hard for a bed to become a fork for
her.

Almost as hard as it would be for him to have being around her, and hearing her voice, become a
fork for him.

He watches as Draco's face becomes even softer at whatever Hermione is saying to him, and he
sees him take a step towards her before pausing and looking up at Pansy and him before shifting
his weight and nodding his head instead.

"That is something you should be proud of, Grang. Nott, did you read over our notes?"

"Yeah, your written accounts will be helpful, but it seemed you both had as much luck as I did."

"What are you all talking about? What are you taking notes on?"

Draco and Theo both turn to look at Pansy.

Shit, we shouldn't be talking about this in front of her.

Although…

"Pansy, is there any chance you could visit your house and borrow some books from your family
library?"

"Fuck no, Nott."

He looks over at the blonde and shrugs his shoulders.

"We need more information Draco, and the books I have will not help us. I think we need to widen
our research. I can't get into my father's office anymore to take whatever he is keeping in there, so
we have to look elsewhere, and the Sacred 28 libraries are probably our best bet in finding what we
need."

Draco's eyes move between the people in the room until the curls move in front of him, bobbing up
and down as she speaks.

After a few moments, one sneer, and an eye roll that makes him smile, Draco lets out a defeated
sigh and looks over her head.

"Fine, Parkinson, tell Zabini and Greengrass to get as many books and documents as they can from
their manor libraries on the subjects of blood magic, runes, ritual, legilimency, and dark magic.
And be discreet about it."

Pansy's eyebrows shoot up at his words. "What the hell are you three up to?"

"The less you know, the better, Parkinson. Trust me."

She stares up at the blonde for a moment before nodding her head.
"Fine, I'll go tell them now. We will bring everything tomorrow at gambling night, which is
happening, and Nott, Princess, work whatever shit you two have going on because this is awkward
as fuck and none of us have the desire to put up with it while also drunk off our arses."

She gives him a look, and Theo takes a step back, placing him out of the minx's way as she walks
to the fireplace and leaves.

"I really don't like her, Draco."

He hears him let out a laugh, and nudge him on his shoulder as he walks out into the hall.

"She isn't wrong, though. How much longer are you going to do this to yourself?"

The three of them walk back into the kitchen, and Draco looks over the table covered in parchment
and books.

Theo doesn't respond to his friend. He knows he is right.

He knows he needs to start trying harder, giving himself and her opportunities to see how far he
can push before his body starts responding in panic and anxiety.

But it was easier to just put up a silencing charm, a crutch he was leaning on way too much if he
ever wanted to regain their friendship.

And he really does.

He misses her and what they had before.

He had never had a friendship like that, especially with a female. And he didn't know how much
time they would have together. He should be taking advantage of every second. He knows he is the
only one blaming himself for anything that happened last month. He knows he is the only one to
not forgive himself yet. He just doesn't know how. He had never done something so horrible, so
evil before. And that little voice in his head always started repeating the same phrase every time he
saw her or she spoke.

He knew the touching would probably never come back. He honestly is okay with that. That wasn't
the part he missed about their relationship at all. It was the talking, open discussion, vulnerability,
and kindness he missed.

Physical contact was hard before and not something he ever preferred, but now skin on skin set
him into a panic state. Skin on skin was dangerous. It had been proven to him more times than not.
It was safer to keep distance. Because you never could tell who were the real monsters. They
weren't distinguishable most of the time. They weren't all in black and darkness with disgusting
faces and easy-to-spot torturous personalities. Anyone could have a monster hidden in them, and
he had released his last month.

"We went through every book you gave us last night and every annotation and note. Nothing
jumped out to either of us."

The two men sit down in the chairs and start sorting through the pages. Theo hands Draco a couple
of the notes he had taken last night, as Hermione places two mugs before both of them and grabs a
few pages for herself to read on the floor.

"Granger believes the largest hint at the actual intention of their actions lies in the Dark Lord
entering her mind and trying to do something very different than legilimency."
The blonde lets out a large yawn and shakes his head slightly as he takes a sip of the burnt
chocolate.

"I'm fine, Granger."

"I have been looking into different ideas, but I can't find any that connect with tattoos and runes.
Legilimency does not need either to work. So it has to be something new, possibly something not
done before since Dolohov and my father can't seem to make whatever it is work."

Draco starts to nod and then lets out another large yawn that he tries to hide with his arm, but the
brunette sees.

Theo watches her get up and stand in front of his friend out of his periphery. She places a hand on
his and starts to pull him out of the chair.

"I have no idea what she is saying, but you should go and get some sleep, Draco. You have been
up for two days straight and won't be any help to us when you turn into a fucking cranky dragon."

Draco huffs out in annoyance, just like a dragon would do, proving Theo's point even further.

He stands up and lets Hermione pull him out of the room.

A couple minutes pass, and Theo is about to get up and start creating a catalog to drop off with
Blaise and Pansy that would help them in finding books that could be beneficial for their research,
when he feels Hermione walk back.

Where Theo once felt so calm and at peace in her presence, he now feels uncomfortable in his own
skin. Wanting to crawl out of it and disappear into the background.

It's up to you to fix this, Theo boy…

He closes his eyes for a minute before raising his wand and breaking the silencing charm he had
around her.

"So, you say in your notes that it felt like the Dark Lord was burrowing into your mind?"

Hermione jerks her head up at him with wide eyes, and he finds himself averting, choosing to look
at the papers in her hands instead.

His palms are sweating profusely and smearing some of the notes on the pages he was holding.

Instead of responding, she nods her head up and down, never taking her eyes off of him.

Ask her an open-ended question, you idiot.

"Can you explain that a bit more?"

He finally looks up at her face. Any evidence of what he had done to her is long gone. The only
thing that existed now are the images flying across his mind.

Her left eye, blood red, and swollen shut.

The feel of her nose sinking into her face with a loud crack and crunch.

Her hair, sticking to the blood all over my hands. Burning as I pulled it out of my gashes and
wounds from hitting her.

He closes his eyes and looks back down at her hands but finds memories of the two fingers on her
left hand bending in an abnormal way, taking over his mind.

"Sorry. I… I still can't look at you. But… but I would like to try talking if you are okay with that?"

A few moments of silence.

"I would love that, Theo. Let me know if you need me to stop. Because I have been dying to talk to
you for weeks now, and I have a lot to say."

He smiles down at the floor between them. Her voice isn't bringing the memories as forcefully and
uncontrollably as looking at her did.

They are there, but he finds himself able to keep his mind in the present much easier.

"I would expect nothing less, Hermione."

He hears a sound, and he looks up to see her unfolding several pieces of paper she had stored in her
back pocket.

"Did… Are those…"

"Yes, Theo, these are all the things I have wanted to say to you since last month. I wrote them all
down."

He laughs and leans back in his chair, feeling calmer than he has in a long time.

"How many?"

"165."

Theo lets out an even louder laugh that he tries to cover as not to wake the sleeping dragon down
the hall.

"Number 1, I love you, Theo. That is actually Number 1, 12, 15, 28, 34, 39, 56, 78, 111, 141 and
163 as well.”

The evil witch…

If she makes me cry one more damn time.

"I love you too, Hermione."

He hears her sniffle, and he knows she has started to cry. He is tempted to look up and see her
ridiculously unattractive crying face but keeps his eyes down.

Baby steps.

"Numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 14, 22, 40, 81, 88, 97, 113, 126, 155 are all I forgive you, and I do not hold
anything from that night against you in any way, shape, or form."

Seriously… she is worse than damn Bellatrix.

"Number 31 is I think you should get an animal. A cat preferably. I think you would really like it."

"I'm allergic to kneazles."

That is a lie. He is not allergic one bit. He just hates them. Any animal with fur he was not a fan of.
Their hair got everywhere, and he would have to change the dusting schedule of his collections to a
daily chore.

No, thank you.

"Okay, then maybe a reptile? Like a snake!"

"Nagini eating a human kind of ruined that for me. Maybe a fish. A fish I could handle."

He can hear her eye roll.

"Whatever, Theo. Number 152 is that I caught Malfoy trying to use damn legilimency on me to try
and find my burnt chocolate recipe, and I know the bastard was doing it for you. So please be
informed that the recipe is locked away deep in a book behind a wall that no one will ever get
through."

He has to hold in his laughter again, and he hears her do the same.

This is nice.

This… I don't want to lose this…

"Oh, trust me, the prick was not looking for that recipe because I told him to. He is just trying to
have some form of leverage with me."
"Leverage for what?"

Theo smirks at the floor and considers telling her how the confident, very experienced, huge sexual
ego blonde ejaculated in his pants early, but he decides to hold that information for later use. He
would milk this dry (pun intended).

"Don't worry, Hermione. I will come around to telling you someday."

Merlin, you are hilarious, Theo.

"Okay… Oh, and Number 165, the last one I wrote just a bit ago, is that I know you just wanked to
Ginny, and I plan to tell her the next time I see her."

Okay, I take it back… Now she is an evil witch.

"I am putting the silencing charm back up and making it permanent." He pulls out his wand, and he
hears her lunge forward while also giggling.

"Don't you dare, Theodore Nott! And don't worry, knowing Ginny, she will take it as a great
compliment and probably like you more for it."

"Yeah, and I am sure being on the bad side of the bloody Chosen One is just swell. He will be a
huge fan of the bastard who wanks to his girlfriend."

"Wanks as in plural?"

I am such an idiot.

Just stop talking, Theo.

"Okay, well, if that is the case, I will give everyone I know a play-by-play of your last sexual
encounter with Draco."

There was silence for another few moments.

"Truce?"

He smiles, remembering the last time they had been in a battle of similar circumstances.

"Truce."

"I missed you, Theo."

"I missed you too, Hermione."

 Hermione
Chapter Summary

Wow! Over 7K reads! There are a lot more of you here now, and I just want to express
my gratitude to you all for the support you show this story. Man, what an incredible
experience to create something that others find enjoyment in.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Bounce.

Bounce.

Bounce.

She lets out a frustrated grunt and bends down, placing her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

Come on, Hermione. 60 more seconds, and then you can get off and take a break.

She straightens up and starts jumping again, reaching up towards the stain as far as possible. Her
flannel gets close, but she is still inches away.

The stain has been up there for too damn long, and she got to know Blaise Zabini well enough over
the last two months to be sure that the git would never clean it himself. And Theo had sealed it
from magic getting it off to make a point, so here she was jumping up and down on the mattress
she had placed on the floor, flannel in hand, trying to get the smudge off the ceiling.

Bounce.

Bounce.

Bounce.

Bounce.

"Argh!"

She grunts in frustration at her lack of height and throws the flannel down on the ground out of
frustration. It lands right on a pair of very expensive and familiar shoes.

She looks up quickly through the crazy locks that have become matted with sweat to see a very
pleasant, with a hint of another emotion Hermione can't place, Malfoy leaning against the doorway.

He lowers the stack of books to his waist as their eyes meet, and she continues to breathe heavily.
She probably looks insane. No, she is sure she looks insane. How was he always showing up for
these spectacularly embarrassing and unsexy moments? Why in the world was he doing intimate
things with her, of all people?

Well, like he said before, why would he deny consensual sexual experiences with a woman?

"Malfoy."

She says through gasps of breath, bending over once again.

"Granger. Please don't stop on my account."

She quirks her head at his voice, which sounds much lower than normal for some reason.

"I'm not. I'm stopping because no matter how high I jump, or how much I stretch, my lack of
stature will not allow me to remove that bloody stain from the ceiling that we all know needs to
go."

She emphasizes her last point by turning and giving her middle finger to the damn dog smudge and
sneering at it.

"You're serious?"

It really is a question. Hermione straightens up and gives him a puzzling look as she pushes the
mess of a mane behind her shoulders.

"Of course, I'm serious. What else would I be doing?"

Her eyes widen as she sees the always put-together blonde start to get a bit of color in his cheeks.

"What… What did you think I was doing?"

"Nothing. Hold on."

He walks over to the table beside the window that the tent is shrunk next to. Malfoy stands there
for a few seconds before placing the stack of books on top and turning toward her. He walks over,
picking up the flannel she had thrown onto the ground, and holds it out to her.

She takes it, not really understanding what is going on, and turns to look back up at the stain.

He comes up behind her, and places his hands on her lower waist before lifting her up.

Hermione lets out a shriek as she is basically thrown in the air. She reaches backward for leverage
against his shoulders.

"Malfoy! What the hell is it with you picking me up and hoisting me all over the place?!"

"Like you said, your lack of stature happens to be a strength of mine. I am playing against your
weakness, Granger. And once again, you should be thanking me."

He says this as he places her arse right next to his face on his shoulder. Just like a damn bird would
perch.
Damn it… I can actually reach it now…

There is no way in hell I am thanking him, though.

"I hate this."

She looks down to see him staring back up at her, smirking.

"Can't respond with our usual banter, Granger. I hate nothing about this current situation."

He smacks her lightly on her behind, and she lets out another shriek and whips the flannel down
onto the top of his head, messing up his perfectly ruffled platinum locks.

"Damn it, stop! I thought you wanted to get rid of the stain?"

"I am." She smirks as she whips the flannel against his head again.

He pinches her side, and she jolts out of his reach, almost falling off his shoulder until his other
hand grabs her around her upper thigh and presses her down firmly.

"You have 60 seconds before I drop you."

She glares down at him. His hands haven't moved. "You wouldn't."

"55 seconds."

She looks back up at the stain and starts rubbing quickly, watching the blackish-brown start to
fade. "Do I want to know what this is?"

"No."

She rolls her eyes, putting all of her strength into rubbing against the gross mark. He has to hold on
to her hard as her whole body rocks back and forth with her movements.

"Granger, are you doing this on purpose?"

"Doing what on purpose, Malfoy? Cleaning a damn stain that should have been cleaned ages ago?"

He is silent underneath her, and she places her whole concentration on the disappearing smudge.

"How many seconds do I have left?"

"I… I lost count."

"What? You never lose count."

"Yeah, well, first time for everything."

She snorts at him as she leans back and looks over the area the stain used to be. There is still a faint
discoloration on the ceiling, but she is sure from the ground you wouldn't be able to see it.

She hears the floo pop behind her as she wipes over the area a few more times to ensure she isn't
missing anything.
"What the fuck did we just walk in on?"

Hermione turns to see the snakes all carrying bags of books in their arms and looking up at her and
Malfoy incredulously.

"What are you talking about, Zabini? We are removing the damn stain on the ceiling of our room
that you should have removed months ago."

"Our room?" / "Did they tell you what that is?" / "Thank Merlin, Hermione! You are a saint!"

All three Slytherin males talk at once, making it unclear what exactly was said.

The group drops the bags onto the ground while Theo walks in, clasping his hands together with a
huge smile on his face.

"I take back every time I have ever called you an evil witch, Hermione."

She smiles, looking over the stain one last time before pulling on the blonde's ear.

"Put me down now, Malfoy."

To her surprise, he gently lowers her to the ground without hesitation or crass remark as he backs
up off the mattress.

"And we are even anyways after you lot made me go back home to get fucking books. Apparently,
husband number seven isn't cutting the cake any longer. Had to eat dinner with a new bloke who
called me bud or son 14 times before the meal was over."

To emphasize his point, Blaise pulls out a large stack of old books of varying sizes.

Hermione knows the joy is all over her face as she walks over to the new research material. She
had always dreamed of having access to the kind of information that could only be found in the
pureblood families' archives and libraries, but she had quickly been made aware of the fact that
would probably never happen due to her own blood status.

Look at you now, Hermione.

Malfoy visited his family manor yesterday and collected a few materials he thought may be
helpful.

His home's archives had already been raided by You Know Who, so there was much less than
Hermione hoped for. But by the looks of the bags, it seemed the other Sacred 28 had come
through.

She moves her hand forward to run her fingers along the spine, but Malfoy reaches for her wrist
and pulls her arm back before she is able to make contact.

"What the…"

"They are spelled against Muggles and Muggle-born bloodlines from touching them. I am going to
have to break the spells first."
She looks up at Malfoy and feels her cheeks heating at his words.

"Oh. Right."

She pulls her hand into her chest and rubs at her wrist, feeling a bit embarrassed for no good reason
at all. She was not ashamed of her blood, nor the fact that she grew up in the Muggle world with
Muggle parents. She had a wonderful mother and father who she thanks every damn day she
obliviated and sent to Australia, safe from the genocide currently taking place. And safe from the
knowledge of what had been happening to their only daughter.

But the fact she was currently surrounded by some of the oldest pureblood families in the
wizarding world was not lost on her.

"Thank you Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne. Thank you so much for being willing to do this for me. I…
I know this could…"

"Princess, we all hate our parents, and the Dark Lord, and this mark on our arms. Consider this a
big fuck you thrown at all of them for us." Pansy sends her a sneer before walking out of the room
and down the hallway.

"What my girlfriend means to say is, we have all gained a bit of perspective since our school days.
It's not a problem, Granger."

She smiles up at the group of Slytherins as they place the dozens of books onto the table by the
window.

"Okay, enough of this emotional shit! Let's get drinking! And oh, here, Granger, like you asked."

Blaise hands her a large bottle that she can't help but squeal at. "You found it!"

He smiles proudly and turns the bottle over to show her the label. "I'm pretty sure I did. My mother
loves muggle alcohol, but that's a secret so keep that between us, yeah?"

She nods her head and walks out of the room and down to the kitchen. "Theo, I have a surprise for
you!"

"Hermione, I am not a fan of your surprises. Every time one of us ends up naked."

She hears a loud grunt and the sound of something colliding as she turns on the oven and starts to
prepare the burnt chocolate.

"It's a joke, Draco!"

She places the ingredients into the pot as quickly as possible, before Theo can see what is needed.

"Pans told me you have a pretty nice arse, Nott. She said it is better than Malfoy's and mine. I
informed her that was more than fine with me as long as I still held the number one spot for the
best appendage on the other side of a bloke's body, if you know what I mean?"

The three of them come walking into the kitchen, and she can feel Theo looking over her shoulder,
trying to see if he can gather any helpful information about the concoction.

Malfoy opens up one of the cupboards, grabs a couple of glasses and mugs, and places them on a
tray.

"Everyone always fucking knows what you mean, Blaise. And I do believe recalling a certain game
of veritaserum truth or dare poker that stated Draco held that spot."

Hermione feels herself flush at the conversation happening around her.

Just look at the burnt chocolate, and stir Hermione.

Do not join in or look up at the snakes surrounding you.

Play dead, and they may not attack.

"That was only a month after we started shagging! I guarantee if we play the game again and she is
asked the same question, she will state otherwise."

"Whatever you say, Zabini."

She hears Malfoy right next to her, grabbing a ladle and taking the cap off of the bottle of alcohol
she plans to combine with the burnt chocolate. She is fighting not to make eye contact with him.

How could she look at the man she was currently participating in extremely erotic, while
pleasurable things with, when they are talking about his past exploits, and skill level with an
appendage she has the desire to learn about firsthand?

"You're blushing, Granger."

She feels herself trying to grow smaller at his words. "Shut up, Malfoy."

"That's it! That's what we are playing tonight! Nott, go down to the potion room and grab a bottle
of veritaserum."

She hears two of the three men exit the kitchen, just leaving the one that was making her feel like
she was under a microscope.

She tries to contain and calm the flush that she can feel traveling down her neck and onto her chest,
but as she hears him cackle next to her, she knows she has failed.

"I actually have a book I already broke the spell on that I think you might like. It will not help with
our research, though."

She looks over, and her breath gets caught in her throat as she reads the title.

It was the first book in the series collection she had planned on using in her conversation she
wanted to have with him year one.

The book.

Being placed right now in front of her.

By Malfoy.

Over 8 years later.

She feels perspiration start to stick on her arm with her hand hovering over the pot she is no longer
stirring.

"You okay?"

"Why did you bring me this book?" She looks up at him with her mouth still slightly open from the
irony of the situation.

His gaze moves between her eyes. "I saw it and thought you would like it."

"Really?"

She is trying to rack her brain for a memory that would explain why he would have known to pick
this book among the literal thousands she knew his library held. There was no way this was a
coincidence.

He turns and leans against the counter next to her and shrugs.

"One of the books I thought may be useful for our research was near it. When I skimmed over the
title, I remembered you once telling me back in 5th year how the series was one of the most
coveted works of literature in the wizarding world. So when I saw it, I grabbed it for you. Don't
worry, there are dozens of protection charms on the book. No need to wear gloves or a mask."

He smirks at her at his final words, but she just keeps looking up at him with her mouth hanging
open like an absolute imbecile.

"I… I don't remember that conversation."

"I don't expect you would. It lasted less than four minutes and took place between bitey retorts and
prickish comments."

She gives him a fake smile and starts stirring the drink again, hoping it isn't actually burnt.

"But… you do. Did something happen in that conversation to make it stick out in your memory?"

Malfoy looks down at his shoes at her words. "I have a very good memory when it comes to
certain things."

She nods her head, understanding completely. Her mind always remembered titles and books as
well. She could remember the title of the book Lockhart was working on before he lost all of his
memory back in 2nd year.

"Thank you, Malfoy. I have been interested in this book for a very long time. You couldn't have
made a better choice."

She sees the genuine soft smile that takes over his face.

I like the way you respond to praise too, Malfoy.

Hermione grabs the mugs and starts pouring the burnt chocolate into six of them. She fills them
about ¾ of the way and then pours the alcohol.

"Spiked burnt chocolate?! I didn't know alcohol could get better. I am going to be pissed tonight!"
Theo grabs a mug off the tray, and he takes a large gulp. As he swallows, he closes his eyes and
lets out a satisfied noise. "You should kill me right now because I don't think my life can get any
better than this moment."

Hermione smiles up at him even though he still won't look at her for too long.

"I thought you'd like it. Malfoy, can you carry the pot and bottle in for me, please?"

"Come on, revised Golden Trio! We're ready to play!"

Malfoy helps her hand out the drinks that all the snakes approve, and get seconds of very quickly,
none quicker than Theo.

Blaise organizes the chips, and Pansy starts shuffling, sitting on his lap in the bean bag he must
have brought again.

Hermione sits next to Malfoy and takes a drink.

Theo trades seats with Daphne, who is now sitting next to Hermione. Out of all the snakes, Daphne
was the one she talked to the least. She seems like a quiet girl. She was a bit older than the rest of
them, but it didn't seem like it was an age issue. Hermione had a lot of run-ins with people who
were not a fan of just her presence alone to know what it looked like. And that is exactly how
Daphne always looked at her.

Still, she gives the beautiful blonde a smile, hoping they would change things tonight, but as the
oldest Greengrass sister looks over at her and nods her head briefly before turning back to her
cigarette, Hermione gives up.

Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay.

Sure, keep telling yourself that people pleaser.

"Okay, Granger, have you ever played truth or dare poker before?"

"I am not 12, so of course, I have played truth or dare, but I have not played it in conjunction with
poker before."

Blaise leans back in his chair as Pansy deals the cards. "Okay, well, we all fend for ourselves
tonight, and whoever wins the hand gets to pick from the losers someone to compete in either a
truth or a dare. Truth comes along with a little dose of veritaserum to ensure honesty."

"All this because you want to make sure your dick is the best Pans has had? Sounds like you have a
bit of a complex there, Blaise."

"At least my cock has seen a cunt, Nott."

Hermione's whole body involuntarily jerks at the words Blaise says.

Cock.
Cunt.

Pet…

She feels her hands start to shake as breathing becomes harder, and her hearing becomes muffled.

She closes her eyes as the memories begin to overwhelm and confuse her.

Was she there? Was he here? Should she be getting on her knees? What was going on…

Bend over pet, and spread your…

"Granger!"

Cool hands wrap around her cheeks, and stop her from kneeling on the floor.

"Open your eyes, Granger. You are safe. He isn't here. You are safe."

Malfoy.

I'm safe.

I'm safe.

She feels herself nod her head at him as he wipes away a tear from her jawline, and she sits back in
her chair. "I'm here. I'm here."

"Zabini, don't say those words in front of her again. Nott, go get the list off the fridge."

She hears Theo's chair squeak out as he runs out of the room.

Her breathing is still shaky and short as she keeps her eyes closed. Embarrassed once again.
Embarrassed again over something she had no control over.

She feels a vial press into her shaking hand, and she takes it and swallows it. As the calm takes
over her body, she finally opens her eyes to see silver looking back at her.

"I'm here."

He keeps looking at her in that intense way, not letting go of her face.

"Hey, I'm really sorry, Granger. I didn't know…"

She shakes her head and pulls out of Malfoys grip to look at the man slumped even lower in the
bean bag.

"It's okay, Blaise. How could you have known? I'm fine, really, so why don't we just… play cards."
And everyone stop looking at me like some freak accident.

"You sure?"

She turns her attention back to the blonde, looking warily at her. She raises her chin and nods her
head curtly.

"Yes. No treating me like I'm broken, remember Malfoy?"

He keeps looking at her for a moment before smirking and shooting her a wink as he sits back in
his chair.

"Deal."

"Okay, a few rules because last time we played this, you almost blew up my balcony. One, no
dares dealing with fucking fire of any kind. Two, no unforgivable curses. Three, consent has to be
given by all those participating for any, and I mean any, physical contact. That means none of you
shitheads are allowed to touch me."

Theo finishes his statement by looking all of them, except for Hermione, straight in the eyes as he
pours the potion into small shot glasses on the table.

Hermione takes another large gulp of her burnt chocolate, finishing it off as Malfoy pours straight
firewhiskey into the recently empty cup.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Malfoy?"

She smiles over at him wickedly and takes a sip of the hard liquor with the small remnants of the
other drink combined.

He starts to smirk at her, but it twitches as she reaches over into his lap and grazes her hand up his
leg slowly to his front pocket, where she knows he keeps his cigarettes.

She pauses at the cusp of leaning her hand one way or the other before quickly digging into the
pocket and grabbing the pack.

The look of disappointment that flashes over his features makes her wink at him before pulling a
stick out and tossing the box back in his lap.

"You don't want to play this game with me, Granger."

"Or what?" She leans forward, hoping that he will light her cigarette for her, as she was not allowed
to use magic in front of the other Slytherins.

He leans in closer than necessary and raises his hand to cast the wordless magic, but he stops and
moves the hand to grab her chin, pulling her face even closer to his.

"Or you will lose. And we all know how much you hate losing."

Before she can react, he tilts his head forward like he is about to kiss her, and she feels her heart
skip as she waits for the sensation.
His lips are centimeters from her when he pauses, and squeezes her chin harder, holding her in
place. He moves those last few centimeters and places his lips around the end of the cigarette
sticking out of her mouth. He pulls it from her, confidently and adeptly, spinning it around with
only his tongue until the right end of the stick is housed firmly between his smirking lips.

She is gaping. She knows she is gaping as he lets go of her chin, and he leans back in his chair
triumphantly.

It takes her an embarrassingly long time before she pulls herself together. The ridiculous smug look
on his face as he exhales a puff of smoke, sets her determination back as a priority.

Let's play, Malfoy.

She leans forward again, hand raised like she is going for the cigarette in his mouth, but averts to
his upper thigh at the last moment, sinking her whole hand down into the pocket much farther than
needed to get the pack out. She watches as his whole body jerks, and his legs spread a bit wider
instinctively at where her hand is precariously close to touching.

"I'm a fast learner." She drawls, pulling the box out of his pocket, grazing the inside of his thigh
with one of her fingers slowly. His breath visibly hitches, and his eyes hood just the slightest before
her hand is free, and she pulls another cigarette from the pack. Instead of giving it back to him, she
sticks the box down the front of her shirt, and places it in one of her bra cups.

"Theo, can you light this for me?"

She watches as the end starts to smoke, and she inhales. She looks down at her cards and sees she
has an incredibly horrible hand. This was going to be a long night.

She played a version of this game multiple times over the years at Hogwarts, but never with
Slytherins. She would never admit it to them, but she felt a slight tinge of fear at the prospects of
what their truths and dares could be. Very different from the Gryffindor tendencies of wild and
crazy pranks that sometimes ended you in a week of detention, she suspects.

Plus, she had just started some very intense version of a game with the dragon next to her to make
things even more precarious.

"I call."

"I raise."

"Call."

They continue until it is just Daphne and Blaise.

Of course, Blaise wins. They all suspect he is cheating already.

The dark-skinned male leans forward to look at his girlfriend in his lap, who is already rolling her
eyes and reaching for one of the shot glasses.

"You may live to regret this." She says as she swigs the potion, slamming the glass back down on
the card table.
"So, I guess you are choosing truth?"

She sneers and lunges away as he tries to suck her ear into his mouth.

"We all know you will keep picking me until I do, so might as well get it over with now."

Blaise sits up on the bean bag and props the black-haired girl forward. "My girlfriend, sexy, strong,
tenacious, clever, kinky, and smart. Okay, there Pans, who gave you the best lay of your life?"

She smirks down at the table and takes a drink. "You sure you don't want to rephrase that
question?"

The light look on Blaise's face disappears at her words. "No, I phrased it exactly how I wanted to.
So answer it. Who gave you the best lay of your life?"

Hermione averts her eyes, finding her horrible hand all of a sudden much more interesting.

Please don't say…

"Draco."

Of course…

The room is silent for a minute before Blaise explodes and pushes her off his lap.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Pans!"

The man is livid, but the woman reclines back in the bean bag like he is an annoying toddler
throwing his 5th temper tantrum of the day.

"You, my dear, are the best sex I have had. But you asked about a singular shag. The best singular
shag of my life was with Draco."

Hermione dares herself to look up, not wanting to be labeled the prude tonight, to see Pansy
extending her glass towards Draco, who smirks at her as he exhales his cigarette.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means that you, Blaise are the best overall that I have ever had, but the shag that is locked in
first place happened with Draco."

Blaise looks down at her with mixed emotions fighting over his facial features before looking up at
Theo.

"Is the veritaserum still working?"

"It should work for about 5 minutes, so yeah."

Blaise nods his head and lowers himself slowly onto the bean bag next to her, and decides to wrap
his arm around the Slytherin.

"Okay, I guess I would much rather be the overall best than just one time."

She leans over and plants a kiss on his cheek before turning her attention to the blonde sitting next
to Hermione.

"Do you know which time…"

"6th year. Christmas holiday." He responds immediately.

The smile on Pansy's face grows as a fury in Hermione builds.

"Is it your top spot as well?"

He pauses for a moment this time. Like he is contemplating whether to answer that dangerous
question or not. His eyes move over to her, and she tries to hide the emotions welling to the
surface. By the smirk on his face, she realizes she has failed.

"For now." He says.

The fury in Hermione bubbles again.

I don't like this.

I don't like this one bit.

The heat in her is different from the usual embarrassment or sensual feeling. It is a white-hot
sensation that makes her fingertips turn red and feel swollen. That makes her nostrils flare, and her
shirt feel tight over her chest.

She looks back down at her cards, suddenly having no desire whatsoever to play any type of game
with the man next to her.

Go play with her then.

I am not going to compete.

"Okay, hand in your cards to Theo."

She throws her cards over to the brunette and exhales her cigarette, focusing on the end slowly
burning, watching the embers flicker and twitch on the roll.

She sees a couple of cards land in front of her, and she holds them up and looks without taking in
anything.

What if he was shagging another girl? He could be. They never talked about being exclusive. She
didn't think Pansy was an option anymore as it was clear she was very much in love with the man
currently playing with her cleavage and stealing glances at her cards.

But what about Daphne? Maybe that is why the girl seems to not like her. She is beautiful. Way
prettier than Hermione in every sense of the word. A solid 10, just like the man next to her.

A 7 stuck between two 10's, what a great night.

And she was a pureblood, and a Slytherin, and filthy rich. Yes, Hermione convinces herself, that
had to be it. Daphne knew she asked Malfoy to have some fun with her as well, and saw Hermione
as a roadblock.

"Granger, did you hear Theo?"

She blinks and shakes her head, and drops her hand on the table. "I'm out."

She stares at the intricate design on the back of the cards on the table, putting her cigarette in the
ashtray next to her. The fury is sitting high in her chest, just swirling there dormant but all powerful
and consuming.

She did not like to share. And she did not like to feel used, which is exactly how she is feeling right
now.

Blaise lets out a victorious whoop as he somehow (we all know how) wins another hand. "Okay,
Nott your turn, truth or dare?"

She looks up to see Theo place his head into his hand on the table, looking in between his fingers
at the man across from him.

"Can I hear the truth and decide to do the dare if I don't want to answer?"

"Yes, but you have to do the dare."

Theo takes a minute to think before nodding his head. "Okay, truth."

"Alright. What the hell happened between you and the Golden Girl?"

Hermione watches Theo shut off at Blaise's words.

The bloke was really good at saying the absolute worst things at the worst times.

"I choose dare."

Blaise, eyes widen in surprise at Theo. "Shit, you never choose dare. Okay, give me a second to
think of a good one. Daph, start shuffling the cards."

As Daphne shuffles, Hermione feels a cool hand rest on her knee underneath the table, and that hot
anger inside her unleashes. She jerks her leg out of his grasp and turns towards the other gorgeous
fucking blonde, and watches her shuffle.

"Granger?"

She doesn't answer him or look over. She knows she shouldn't be technically mad at him. She was
the one who had left their little situationship wide open. She was the one who should have set the
guidelines, not him. They weren't in a relationship, so if he wanted to mess around with other
women, he had the right to. She did not own him.

But I want…

No, Granger, you shut that thought right now.

She feels her anger start to subside and turn into sadness as she processes her thoughts. Yes, she
had no right to be angry at him or Daphne, but she did have the right to be sad, and to want to clear
this issue up as soon as possible. If he was with other women, then she had no desire to continue
what they were doing. Not because he was doing something wrong, but because she didn't like the
way it made her feel about herself.

"Oi! I got it! I dare you to name your firstborn son Blaise, after me!"

She looks up to see Theo choke on his liquor before laughing. "If you think I ever plan on
procreating, you are crazy, Zabini."

Blaise shrugs and leans back in the bean bag.

"Well, if you ever do, the lil shit has to be named after me. That is the dare."

Theo rolls his eyes. "Okay, sure, Blaise."

"I'm serious."

"Yeah, I know you are."

"I'm serious, Nott! You don't think I am? Fine, since this dare is so far in the future, you have to
make an Unbreakable Vow with me right fucking now that you will."

Theo sits up straighter and glares at the snake. "No way."

"Okay, then answer the truth."

"It's a fucking game, Zabini! I am not making an Unbreakable Vow with you over losing a shitty
game of cards that you are cheating at, by the way!"

Blaise stands up, walks over to the brunette, and towers over him. "If you aren't breeding some girl,
then what is the big deal there, Nott?"

Theo looks like he wants this moment to end. Hermione can see the attention and focus, making
him breathe heavier and his face paler.

"Fine. Fucking do it."

Blaise tries to latch his hand over Theo's arm, but the brunette pulls his sleeve over his fingers first
before wrapping them around Zabini's arm as Malfoy stands up to perform the ritual.

"You are an absolute bastard, Zabini." Malfoy says as he places his wand on their joined hands.
"Okay, Nott, do you vow to name your firstborn son, Blaise, after your most handsome and
dazzling friend?"

Theo doesn't hesitate, wanting away from the physical contact. Hermione feels uncomfortable for
him. This is the most he has touched another person since he was forced to beat her.

"I will."

She watches as the magic intertwines around their arms for a few moments before fading away.
Theo jerks his arm out of Blaise's as soon as he can. "Happy fucker?"

"Extremely! I can't wait to see lil Blaise Nott running around wreaking havoc just like his
namesake."

Daphne places Hermione's cards in front of her, and she looks down to see she actually has a pretty
solid hand for once.

The round continues, and it is down to her and Pansy.

"I call. What do you got, Princess?"

Hermione lays her cards out and sees that Pansy has a full house. She beat her.

"Okay, I got one for you. Truth or dare?"

Which should I choose?

Honestly, I am kind of terrified of both from her.

"Dare."

Pansy smirks and is about to say something when the blonde cuts in.

"Nothing sexual, Parkinson."

She flashes her eyes at Malfoy for the first time since playing this ridiculous game. He is looking
at her like she is confusing the hell out of him.

"I can fend for myself, Malfoy. Give me your best shot, Pansy. Dare."

"I dare you to go put on Draco's old Quidditch jersey, and only his Quidditch jersey."

Hermione blinks at the girl. That is an extremely easy dare. She wears his shirts every night to
sleep. They are huge on her, covering more than half of the sleepwear Pansy had purchased for her.

She starts to get up out of her seat, but Malfoy grabs her arm and jerks her back down.

"Change the dare now, Parkinson."

Hermione looks between the two, confused.

Pansy shoots him an innocent and extremely fake smile. "Why Draco? It's just a shirt?"
She yanks her arm out of his grasp and stands up defiantly. "Stay out of this, Malfoy."

She stalks out of the room and down the hall, feeling her sadness turning into anger again. He had
no right trying to control her, telling people how to act and what they were allowed to do to her.
She was quite capable of doing that herself.

She opens their closet, looks through his drawers, and quickly finds the dark green jersey. She
strips and pulls the soft material over her head. Not surprisingly, it goes down to just above her
knees and hangs off one of her shoulders at the collar.

She starts to walk out of the room when she is hit with another wave of defiance. She stops in her
tracks, an idea pestering and tickling her mind.

You shouldn't, Granger…

Why not, Hermione? He said he wanted to play?

Yes, but you just said you don't want to play anymore.

I don't, but I can make him want to.

She turns back into the closet and grabs her sneakers, and undoes the shoelaces. Scrunching up one
of the sides of the loose-fitting jersey, she balls it into one hand and ties the shoelace around the
mound with the other. She tucks it in underneath the material and looks down to find the jersey
fitting her much tighter now and also coming to about halfway up her thighs.

Her bra-free breasts are shapely now that the tie has the material pressing tighter against her
curves.

Let's play, Malfoy.

She walks back out of the closet smiling but stops to find Malfoy faltering in his path towards the
closet.

They both look at each other for a moment before reality sinks back in, and she tosses her hair
behind her shoulder, placing a hand on one of her hips, which pulls the material up a bit higher
with the action. It does not go unnoticed by Malfoy.

"Absolutely not, Granger. Take it off now."

That anger begins to bubble in her chest. She turns around, giving him a view of his name scrawled
across her back.

"What? I'd thought you'd like seeing your name branded on me after all that apron talk?"

"Off, now."

"No. This is my dare. Like I said, stay out of it, Malfoy." She pushes his shoulder out of the way
and starts to walk down the hall.

"It is my clothing, Granger. I am not joking; take it off now."

"Okay fine, I'll go grab one of Theo's."

"That's not fucking happening either."

"Why?" She turns on him right as she enters the game room.

He notices her anger, and he pulls his eyebrows together, clearly not understanding where all this
emotion is coming from.

"What is going on? I…"

"What's going on is that I am sick and tired of you pulling this shit with me! I don't appreciate it
when you tell me what to do. So stop it, Malfoy!"

His confusion turns into a smirk, and he leans back against the doorway, looking down at her.
"Now Granger, we both know how much you enjoy me telling you what to do."

She gasps loudly and takes a step back.

No, he just didn't.

Oh…

So we are playing dirty now.

I can play dirty.

Her shock settles into resolve quickly, and she watches his smirk disappear as she reaches down to
the hem of his jersey.

"Fine, Malfoy. I'll take it off."

She starts to lift the jersey up her legs. She knows he won't let her, if his behavior towards Theo
was any indication, but he doesn't need to know that. She honestly doesn't give a fuck if the four
former classmates behind her see her arse or not. It is the frontal view that makes her hands stutter.
That is what she doesn't want anyone to see. But there is no way she will get up to her breasts
before he stops her. No way.

She feels the material rise up to underneath the curve of her arse cheeks, and someone lets out a
whistle behind her, before cool hands grab hers and hold them tight.

"I warned you." He seethes into her ear as he bends down to look at her.

She raises her chin, pulling back to look down at him, and tries to yank both hands-free without
any success.

"I win, Malfoy."

She doesn't say it kindly or affectionately. No, she says it with all the anger she feels inside of her.
All the other confusing and overlapping emotions tugging at her mind and her train of thought.

He glares at her, and she sees something flash as he flattens his palms on the sides of her legs, and
for the second time that day, hoists her on his shoulder. This time with half of her over his back,
and turns out of the room.

"Fucking deja vu, isn't it? Have fun, you two!"

She doesn't fight him this time as he walks her back to their room. She is so mad she is frozen in it,
overwhelmed with it.

The door shuts, and his hands grab her waist to pull her down, but she slaps at them blindly and
slides down his front, pushing against his chest to separate the two of them.

"Granger, what is going on?"

"Did you sleep with Daphne?"

She looks up and sees his angry expression falter and close off at her words, and she knows she is
right. The pressure in her chest turns into something more painful at the realization.

"Why are you asking that? Did she say something to…"

"Just answer the damn question, Malfoy. Did you sleep with her?"

He pauses for a moment and presses his lips together. "Yes."

For some reason, instead of her anger growing at his response, it lessens. Feeling a chilly kind of
ache in its wake instead. All the commotion in her mind freezes, leaving only the icy pain in its
wake. Well, she knows the answer now. There is no need for the assumptions and questions to
continue. She takes a couple breaths and feels that cold realization continue to take over her.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

She nods her head and begins to untie the shoestring keeping his jersey tight on her body. Like she
thought before, she wasn't really mad at him. She just needed to know the situation, and now that
she did, she knew how to solve the problem. She needed to end whatever they had happening now.
It would be easier on her the sooner.

"Yes, okay."

She turns towards the closet, wanting to get his jersey off of her. She is sure Daphne is probably
furious in the other room. Maybe Pansy knew about the situation, and that is why she had chosen
this as the dare. To have this moment happen.

"I can't continue with our deal any longer, Malfoy. We need to stop."

She goes to open the door, but his hand shuts it from behind her. She feels him towering over her,
pressing her closer to the closed door.

"Why? Because I slept with Daph…"

"Yes. Listen, I am not mad, well, I should not be mad at you, and I am trying very hard not to be.
But I can't do what we are doing anymore. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not like we are
exclusive or anything, but I just… I don't like the way I feel thinking about being one of the women
in your life, so I…"

"I slept with Daph over a year ago, Granger. I am not sleeping with anyone currently and haven't
for quite some time."

Her mouth goes dry at his words. So he wasn't sleeping with anyone else? She was starting to
convince herself that she was utterly terrible at these intimate and sexual situations with men. She
was the common factor in all of her experiences that always led to confusing and unclear endings.
Luckily for her, Malfoy pressed her to be honest with herself and him. Making her say the things
she probably would never say to Ronald, Viktor, or any other man. It just didn't come easy to her.

"Oh."

It is all she says because it is all she can say.

"Granger, tell me what you want? Tell me what you are thinking."

He gently grabs her shoulders and turns her around to him. She doesn't look up to his face but
stares at his chest directly before her.

"Why did you stop sleeping with her?"

"Because I didn't want to anymore. She isn't really my type."

Hermione feels herself give him one of the biggest eye rolls she has ever given, and she sees a
smile break on his face.

"Oh sure, beautiful blondes who are rich are no one's type."

He laughs down at her. "I prefer darker hair personally, and she prefers women."

She looks up at Malfoy, shocked by his words. She had no idea. "Really?"

He gives her a soft smile and nods his head. "She enjoys both but decided to try to date women
exclusively for a while after I ended things."

The icy ache in her chest continues to disappear at the realization that she had let her assumptions
run away with her emotions. She feels a smile form on her face with the thought, and Malfoy
smirks down at her.

"So… you were jealous?"

She leans back on the door, and crosses her arms in front of her.

"I don't know if jealous is the right word, but I was hurt. I… This, what we are doing… It is not
like me to do something like this. It is new to me, and I am happy and enjoying it. But the idea of
being open and having multiple partners… That is a little too far out of my personal comfort zone.
And it is my fault for not setting up some boundaries and expectations beforehand."

He starts rubbing her upper arms. "And what expectations would you like?"

"I… I don't want you sleeping with other women while we… while we have our deal. If you find
that you want to, I understand, but please let me know and end it beforehand. I really don't like the
idea of being the other woman. If that is not something you are okay with, that is fine, and we
should stop…"

"I have no desire to sleep with any other woman, Granger. I am fine with being exclusive. Same
goes for you as well."

She scoffs. "Yeah, because there is such a high probability of me sleeping with Theo. The only
other man I come in close proximity towards. You have nothing to worry about, Malfoy."

The hands rubbing her stop at her words, and she looks up to see an expression of hurt cross his
face.

"Even if there were other men, would you?"

"Would I what?"

"If you had other choices, would you have chosen someone different to do this with? Was I just the
only available option?"

"No!" She responds before she lets his question sink in because she knows her answer. "Not at all,
Malfoy! I… I think I am doing this because it is you. Not because I want to, and you are the only
option around."

Like she said before, all this was a: very not Hermione thing to do. It was not a decision or action
she would ever have taken with Ron, Theo, Viktor, Cormac, Neville, Dean, Seamus, or any other
man in her life.

She would have never had the courage, never had the confidence. But somehow, Malfoy always
brought that out in her, always made her feel powerful, and on fire, and self-assured. He gave her
space and the ability to be those things without having to worry about looking perfect, doing the
right thing, or being judged for her actions. He allowed her to not hold back, actually, he
encouraged it. He wanted her to unleash it all on him. It was like he enjoyed it as much as she did
and always had.

"What do you mean?" He asks quietly.

"I mean, I would never be doing what we are doing with anyone else but you."

His face lights up in a way that makes her heart flutter. "Okay, that is enough for me." He releases.

His arms box her in against the door, and he leans forward. Her gaze drops to his lips that she has
been dying to have on her again.

"Do, do you have any expectations or boundaries you would like to discuss?"

"I don't want you being intimate or touching any other man but me."

He stares at her, and she sees his face transform into that intense glare, and her belly starts to spark
as she takes in a deep breath.

"Deal."

"I don't want you in other men's clothing."

"Deal."

"If I am around, I light your cigarettes."

"Deal."

"And you stop throwing shoes at me."

"No promises."

"We'll see… And I make your tea."

"Deal."

"And you button my shirts and robes for me."

"Deal."

"And we sleep together without a damn sheet between us."

"Deal."

"And you let me buy you that apr…"

"Not happening, Malfoy."

They both smile at each other as he lowers himself and rests his forehead against hers.

Moments pass, how long she isn't sure as she is overwhelmed with his close proximity, at the
intimacy of it all.

"And… you start that next lesson." He whispers.

She doesn't hesitate. "Deal."

She crashes her lips into his, already half-open, allowing him access that he takes advantage of
immediately. As his tongue dives into her mouth, his hand grabs the back of her neck and angles
her head to give him the most access as possible.

Her hand goes to his beautiful hair and presses his face into hers while the other grabs his shirt.

As his tongue licks the top of her mouth, she lets out a moan and feels her arms quiver.

God's, this feels good. I can't imagine anything ever feeling better than this.

He grabs her arse and lifts her up into his body, making her wrap her legs around him to keep them
as close as possible. He pulls away from her mouth and goes directly to that spot that makes her
whole body shake and convulse.

He turns them as she places her mouth on his collarbone and starts kissing and sucking hard,
feeling his body shake as well.

He waves his wand, extinguishing the candles, leaving the room dark with only the blueish tint of
the moon to light the area. She smiles into his neck as he lowers her onto the blankets of their
makeshift bed on the floor. Feeling warm that he remembered to turn the lights off to make her
more comfortable.
He starts to pull his shirt over his head until Hermione reaches out and stops him.

"You said buttoning your clothes was part of my job. How about unbuttoning them is as well?"

She loves undressing him. She loved the tease of moving her hand down farther and farther with
each one, and the excuse to look at him for longer than normal periods of time.

He smirks. "Unbutton away, Granger."

He moves his hands and holds himself above her. She starts working down the buttons, feeling the
hard muscles of his stomach contracting as her knuckles barely graze his skin under his shirt as she
works her way down. His hand comes up to her face and pushes a few strands of frizzy hair back
behind one of her ears.

"So, what do you want to focus on for lesson 8?"

She smiles as she pops the last button out and pushes her hands underneath the fabric down both of
his arms as he shrugs it off.

He has an amazing body. Every time she saw it, she felt consumed with the heat it caused her own
to respond with.

She moves her hands down to his belt and starts undoing it until his hand comes up to stop her.

"A shirt for a shirt, Granger."

"But I only have one piece of clothing on."

He shrugs and wraps his hand around her outer thigh, pushing up slowly, raising the hem of the
jersey as he goes.

"I don't understand where the problem is in that statement."

She rolls her eyes, but she chokes on a breath as his hand moves to start working upwards on her
inner thigh. Her legs spread for him, and her cheeks become red at the instinctual reaction.

He chuckles. "Why are you blushing?"

"I… I have never been seen naked in front of someone before willingly." She says, keeping her
gaze to the side.

His hand freezes halfway up her thigh, but his thumb continues to circle and massage her skin
gently.

"Granger, you have a fucking hot body, but if you want to leave the jersey on, that is fine with me.
You'd be fulfilling one of my greatest fantasies."

"Really? Shagging a girl in your jersey?"

He scoffs and pauses for a Monet before responding. "Close."

She looks up at him, not understanding, but doesn't have the chance to clarify before his lips are
back on hers, making her eyes close and her hands touch him everywhere and anywhere she can.

As he bites her lower lip, kissing away the slight bit of pain and licking the wound, she lets her
hands travel back down to his belt and start undoing it.
Last time he didn't let her return the favor, and she had really wanted to see if doing it to someone
she wanted to do it to would make the experience better.

She goes for the buttons underneath the belt, and when they are undone, she shoves his trousers
down as far as she can. He sits up and helps her discard them the rest of the way. She finds herself
raising as well. And she just stares.

Hell no, am I getting naked in front of that.

He looks like a bloody marble statue or Greek god…

His… Should she call it a penis? She wasn't going to use the word Master always used. Dick?
Yeah, she will just go with dick. It sounds the best.

His dick is quite large, and she finds herself unable to breathe as she watches it twitch. He keeps it
trimmed. His carpet matches the drapes, which makes it look even more appealing to her. It has a
slight curve to it and a girth that is quite intimidating.

It is very different from her past experiences with the appendage, and she finds herself scared yet
grateful.

"I… You're big."

Did I just say that out loud?

Her chest becomes hot, and she looks to see the ego, that was already prickishly large, grow as he
raises his eyebrows and smiles.

"Thanks."

She blushes again. "I, I don't know if I can fit you… his wasn't…"

She closes her eyes and tries to stop the thought process that had begun. She didn't want to go
there. She never wanted to compare anything to that monster and what he did to her. Especially
anything Malfoy did to her. Because to compare would mean that there were similarities, that they
were possibly close to being the same thing.

But what she did with Malfoy was nothing like what she had experienced. But it was so hard not to
have her mind compare when it is all she knows.

Because she has done most of these things before. Probably a lot of things she would never want to
do again, things even Malfoy hadn't done. So it was hard not to compare or think of those
memories during moments like these.

"Hey, hey Granger, it is okay. Look at me." She feels his refreshingly cool hands grab her face, and
she opens her eyes. "We don't have to have sex. There is no rush."

She shakes her head.

"No, there is! There is, Malfoy! I don't want him to hold this all to himself for another fucking
minute. I want it to be mine. To be ours. To… to be something good."

She feels a tear slide down her cheek.

Great Hermione, everyone wants to shag a crying girl.

"I am sorry for bringing him up. I hope you know I don't actually compare…"

"I understand. The last person I… I understand."

She meets his eyes and feels like he really does know all of the mixed thoughts and emotions she is
feeling right now. He has to. He had experienced his own hell at the hands of his body being used
by someone else.

"I know you do."

She moves forward and kisses him lightly, slowly moving her lips against his that respond with the
same tranquil movements. They kiss like this for a while before she feels his erection on the
outside of her leg, and she deepens the kiss, pressing her chest into his. He wraps his arms around
her and pulls her against him, with her sitting in his lap.

"For this next lesson, can I try something on you?"

She says it in between kisses, and she feels him nod his head in response as she moves from his
mouth to run a lick up the side of his neck.

She reaches down in between them but keeps running hard kisses and bites over his face, neck, and
shoulders.

When her fingers caress the soft, silky skin at the base of his dick, she feels a breath catch in his
throat.

"Is this okay?'

For once, it is her asking the question, and he lets out a small laugh through huffs of air.

"I'm all yours, Granger."

She smiles into his neck and moves her mouth back up to his as she grips around his sex. She
moves her hand up to his tip, and she feels the small bead of pre cum dripping down the side. Her
thumb spreads the liquid around the tip before moving her hand back down and stroking him in a
slow and rhythmic way. With each stroke, she pumps her tongue into his mouth. He lets out a
groan that vibrates her mouth and makes the hand stroking his dick shake in response.

"Fuck, you're good at this."

She smiles into his mouth. "Nothing to teach me so far?"

He shakes his head, and digs his hands into her scalp as she twists her hand around the tip and
picks up the pace.
She knows how to do this, and she finds herself enjoying the fact that Malfoy is enjoying this. That
she was making his breath hitch and his dick harden. That she had the power to turn on a man like
him, that she could turn on someone she wanted to turn on.

Feeling more powerful than she has in a long time, she moves her lips off his and starts working
her way down his neck, across his chest, licking in his belly button…

His whole body jerks at the action.

"Merlin, fuck!"

Okay, so he likes that.

Good to know.

She smiles down and nuzzles into the trail of fine hair between his navel and her destination, but
before she can dip her head, she feels his hand on her chin.

"Granger, you don't have to do this. If any part of you doesn't want to, I…"

"I want to, Malfoy."

She pulls her chin out of his grasp and presses her hand into his chest. He lays back, propping
himself up with his elbows as he watches her dip her head in front of his dick she is still caressing.

I wonder what he tastes like?

"I really…"

She sticks out her tongue and licks the tip. The taste of him is faint, but she can tell it is tangy and a
bit sweet. His skin is so soft over the hard muscle and pulsing veins underneath.

"...Really…"

She holds his sex up and licks from the base to the tip.

"...Want to."

She sinks down on him, and he lets out a grunt as she takes almost his whole dick into her mouth
and down her throat.

Her gag reflex had been dealt with a long time ago.

She holds him there for a few moments, letting her tongue work the area it can while her mouth
fills with the lubricating saliva she needs.

She moves her head up and then sucks in her cheeks as she takes all of him in again.

"Fuck me woman…"
As she rises up again, she releases his sex with a loud pop, and then looks up at him to lick her lips
and spread her lubricant over him with her hand.

"I'm trying." She winks and takes him in again, and starts bobbing up and down. Her damn hair
somehow gets in her mouth, and she can feel it between her tongue and his dick.

Like he knows she is frustrated by the intrusion, she feels him take her mane into one hand and pull
it over and behind one of her shoulders.

He keeps his hands in her hair, playing with the strands, fighting not to grab her head and try to
control her movements.

She lifts off of him again but starts licking him up and down and twisting her tongue on his tip.

"Show me how you like it, Malfoy."

She reaches for the hand in her hair and moves it to her scalp to reassure him as she lowers herself
back on him, gently grazing him with her teeth.

I want to be the best.

Show me how to be the best for you, Malfoy.

So next time we play that stupid game, Pansy's name will be far from your memory.

His hands fist some of her hair as he presses her head down and comes up with his hips
simultaneously.

She feels an involuntary moan travel up her dick-filled throat as he continues to move her head up
and down his shaft hard and fast.

"You keep getting better and better… So beautiful, Granger… Merlin, this mouth of yours…"

She tries to smile as much as she can with her mouth full of him. She feels his thigh muscles begin
to flex, and she starts pressing her tongue hard under his dick, knowing he must be close.

But before he finishes, Malfoy pulls her up hard, flips her underneath him, and begins devouring
her mouth and filling it with his tongue instead.

She spreads her legs, wrapping them around his waist, and startles as she feels his dick touch her
core briefly.

The back hem of his uniform is wet from her, and she can feel her slickness all over the inside of
her thighs as his hand travels underneath his jersey.

"You enjoyed doing that to me, didn't you?"

She nods her head as he bites her lip and sucks it into his mouth; at the same time, he starts rubbing
her clit.

She tilts and lets out a long moan as she arches her back and writhes against his hand.
I need him in me.

Now.

"Lesson 8 then. Not only are you fucking mind-blowing with your mouth, but you enjoy the hell
out of it."

She nods again, bucking her hips, wanting to feel something different than the finger slowly
spreading her folds.

"I'm ready for lesson 9. Please Malfoy. I'm ready."

"Let me make sure."

His lips disappear from her neck, and she growls as he raises himself up off of her completely, only
to sit back on his knees and spread her thighs even further than they already are.

He is about to see you.

The most intimate, private part of you.

She doesn't fight him as he raises the jersey to her upper hips. She feels the air against her sex and
closes her eyes as she lowers her head to the floor, counting the seconds that seem like hours as he
looks at her and says nothing.

Too much time goes by without him saying anything.

Am I messed up down there?

Is every horrendous thing that was done to me evident?

I am pretty sure he fixed all the things he had sliced, stretched, and tore. At least that's what the
healer said that came in to inspect me.

"Am I…" She could be ruining the moment if she asks this, but she can feel the sensual fire
burning out as her thoughts begin to race with all of the possibilities and worst-case scenarios. "Is,
Is it obvious? Is it broken too?"

"No Granger, it is perfect. Nothing about you is broken. Nothing about this body of yours is
anywhere close to showing anything that sociopath did to you."

That isn't true…

He will see it one of these days, Hermione.

Unless you never plan on taking your shirt off in front of him. Which I think would be a great
disappointment to him, by the way you have caught him staring at your chest.

"And even if it did, I would still want you."

She turns her head to look at him and sees him staring down in between her legs. His dick looks
like somehow it has gotten even more significant. He isn't lying. He really does want her. The fire
that was going away stirs again as she sees the evidence of how bad he really wants her.

Malfoy wants her. This was all just bloody ridiculous. How had they gone from slamming doors in
each other's faces, punching him in the nose, saying slurs and other horrendous things, to this? To
being vulnerable with him in a way she had never been before in her life.

"How did we get here?"

He lowers his head and kisses the inside of her knee, making her squirm as his hands raise up her
thighs.

"All the little moments." He says it into her skin as he continues to place little kisses down towards
her core.

Oh shit…

He gets closer, and Hermione sits up pulling herself away from him.

She knows what he was about to do. The girls at school who were more active than she was had
talked about it quite often, and about how some of their boyfriends refused to do it.

Dolohov never did it to her. Never. It was the one thing she still had left that he hadn't taken and
tainted. The only first she could give anyone.

"Relax, Granger."

"I… I've never done that."

Malfoy raises a bit and looks at her, surprised.

"He never…"

"No. Never."

They stare at each other for a while, neither of them moving to continue. His eyes stay on her as he
processes everything tied up in that statement. Until she watches him swallow and finally blink.

"Okay. I won't do that then. You can save it for..."

"No!" She rushes forward. "I, I want you to. I didn't tell you because I wanted you to stop. I just… I
just thought you should know, but if you don't want to, that is fine. I get it I…"
She lets out a yelp as Malfoy wraps his hands around her thighs and pulls her forward towards him,
spreading her wide. She catches her upper body on her elbows as he lowers and sucks in hard on
her inner thigh.

"Oh my gods…"

She fights to keep her eyes open at the incredible sensations his mouth is creating all throughout
her body.

"Granger, I want to do this."

He moves his mouth into the crease between her leg and her sex and licks up and down before
lightly biting the area.

"I really..."

He moves his face over her core and takes in a deep breath that she can feel in every nerve of her
body.

"...Really..."

His hands spread her, and his breath gets even closer.

"...Want to."

His tongue takes one long lick up through her core, and her vision goes, and her ears fill with a
ringing that makes her lose her balance on her elbows and fall back.

She tries to control her breathing. She desperately needs air. But as she tries to take in a large
breath, she gasps as he starts to suck on her clit.

"This… You… Granger, you are heavenly. Addictive. I could live here."

He says these incredibly arousing things through his tongue working all over her sex. Going slow
and focusing on spots she doesn't even know could make her feel the way she is, before speeding
up and traveling everywhere and anywhere, mapping her out with his mouth.

"This is mine, do you understand?" He says into her.

She is supposed to answer. How in the wizarding world was she supposed to form actual words
with her mouth at this moment?

She feels him press her hips harder into the ground, making her arch her back, raising her sex up
off the ground a bit. She looks down and sees his blonde hair in between her legs, with his tongue
working her clit in a circular motion that she is mimicking with her hips, and his silver eyes staring
right at her.

"Granger, do you understand?"

At that moment, he takes his tongue off her bundle of nerves and dips it into her core, inside her.

"Holy hell… Yes, yes, Malfoy fuck! It's yours, all yours. Please don't stop."

She can feel his smile against her sex, and he moves his mouth back up to her clit as he places his
fingers right outside her entrance.
"Good girl."

He inserts his finger so easily, and she bashes her head off the floor behind her as she lets out a
loud moan. It is all too much. Too much sensation and pleasure that it is almost painful. She can
feel her legs start to spasm, but Malfoy is prepared and locks them to the ground with the weight of
his body and wraps his one free hand that's not inside her around her waist to keep her still.

She feels the burning in her build, and she knows what it means. She lets out a frustrated grunt and
raises herself somehow and yanks on his hair to get him to look up at her, and to take his devilish
mouth away from her.

"Granger, wha…"

"I want you inside me. I want to come with you inside me. Please Malfoy. I need this."

Need was the correct word. This was not a want for her. If it was, she would never be doing what
they were currently doing. She denied herself a lot of wants over the years for the greater good. But
taking this, what should have been hers. Giving it to him. She needed this. She needed him.

"I need you."

She whines the words and watches his expression change as he raises and places his familiar
weight on top of her.

"I need you too."

He rests his forehead against hers as she raises her legs to wrap around his waist, placing him at her
entrance.

She watches as his one hand goes down in between them.

"Keep looking at me. Don't close your eyes, okay?"

She nods her head against him as she takes in shallow breaths. He kisses her lightly with his eyes
never leaving hers. She can taste herself on his lips.

Her hands are shaking on his shoulders from a mix of anticipation and fear. What if she doesn't like
this? What if it sends her back there? What if the other her takes over? What if she never could do
this? What if this was a fork?

"This isn't going to be a fork for you, Granger. We will work through this."

She focuses on his face again and gives him a smile as she places her lips back on his. He kisses
her back in a way that makes her believe he needs this too. They both need this.

She feels his tip push against her opening.

"Ready?"

She nods her head and slips her tongue into his mouth.

She winces as his dick pushes into her, stretching her walls and making her abdominal muscles
clench in response.

"Fuck… so tight… Eyes open, Granger."

She opens her eyes and lets out another noise between their lips as he continues to sink further and
further into her.

"This is happening, this is fucking happening."

She smiles into his lips as his breath becomes shaky as she feels him sink all the way into her. It
feels like he is hitting against something, but instead of it hurting, it makes the sensation feel even
more electrifying.

"You fit. I fit you."

His hips rest on her inner thighs, and he gives her a minute to adjust to the fullness she is now
feeling, clenching and circling her hips on his twitching dick. She has no idea how her body has
accommodated him, but she is proud of it for taking all of him.

"Bloody hell you do. Perfect Granger… made for me. Are you okay?"

"Perfect, Malfoy."

He smiles as he raises his hips, and she feels his dick slide against her walls before he gently yet
forcefully pushes all the way back into her. They both let out a series of noises between each
other's lips as her back arches at the feel of him hitting that amazing spot deep within her.

He starts a rhythm of thrusts that she matches with her hips, never taking his forehead or eyes off
of her.

She likes this. No, she loves this. It feels spectacular. It feels consuming. She feels cherished.

That is the difference, she thinks. She feels his need, his care, his concentration all on her, and it
makes her heart swell.

He had told her weeks ago that the difference was how your mind responded when it was
something you wanted. It truly was. He wasn't using her, or hurting her. They were doing this
together.

"Granger, you okay?"

She is pulled from her thoughts and feels his hand slip in between them to start rubbing on her clit.

"Yes, yes. This is… everything, Malfoy. Fuck, keep doing that."

"You and that incredible filthy mouth, woman you are spectacular."

He picks up the pace on his thrusts, and she feels her cheeks flush as she hears the sounds of them
coming together fill the room.

Her hands dig into his back, leaving long nail mark trails in their wake as he continues to pound
into her.

"I'm… I'm close, Malfoy."

"Thank fucking Merlin."

He whispers into her mouth as he dives in deep with his tongue while he thrusts into her hard,
leaving his dick deep in her, pressing against something in a way that sends sparks through her legs
and into her toes. He possesses all of her in this moment. All of him is everywhere on her, and she
has never felt so secure in her life.

Her orgasm tears through her as she feels him pumping into her at the same time. She clenches
around his dick, and she feels him moan into her mouth.

"Perfect. Astronomically and utterly perfect."

Her legs start to shake, and her whole body jerks with each wave of pleasure. He doesn't yell at her
for closing her eyes as she moves her head back and forth as it continues and continues for far
longer than any orgasm she has ever had before.

"The best, Granger. Undeniably fucking the best."

She feels his sweaty forehead fall back onto hers as his whole body collapses on top of her. She
smiles and wraps her arms around him, gently touching every area she can as she comes down
from her climax.

His fresh minty breath surrounds her, and starts to become more regular as the moments pass by.
He raises his forehead to replace it with his lips that continue down the side of her face and her
neck.

"Are you okay?" He whispers into her neck.

"It isn't a fork."

She nuzzles her face into his hair, and she can feel him smile against her neck.

He raises himself off of her slightly, and she whines as he pulls himself out of her. She feels empty.
Empty in a new way she has never felt before. Like she is no longer whole without him.

He presses a gentle peck on her lips. "I'm going to go get a flannel. I'll be right back."

She hears him stand up and walk to the bathroom. She can feel him seeping out of her. She likes
the feeling. Part of her wants to sit up and try and see what it looks like as it comes out of her.
Proof of the change that had just taken place.

Before she can, she feels the warm wet fabric slowly wiping her inner legs and core.

She lets out a sleepy relaxed noise as he continues to clean her.

"Are you okay, Malfoy?" Her eyes are still shut, just enjoying the sweet movements of the blonde,
as he takes care of her in a way no one ever had before.

"Granger, you have no idea…"

She feels the flannel leave her body as a blanket is placed on top of her. She looks up to watch him
clean himself off, still staring down at her. Eyes traveling all over her with a look that is distant.

"Better than Pansy then?"

She watches him blink and smirk as he meets her eyes.

"Always have to be the best, don't you?"

She rolls her eyes and pulls the covers up over her chest. "I have no idea what you are talking
about."
He finishes cleaning himself off before sitting up and leaning toward her. "Granger, there is no
comparison."

You better believe the next time we play that damn game, I am asking you that question just to be
sure.

He gently kisses her on her lips and rises, grabbing his briefs before walking into the closet.

"Do you want a different shirt?"

She nods her head.

"Yes… I, I think I may have ruined your jersey."

He throws her one of his t-shirts, and she pulls the jersey over her head, holding the blanket up to
her chest as she places the new and soft t-shirt over her.

He walks out still in nothing but his briefs, and she feels that fire start again.

Granger! You were just properly shagged for the first time in your life, and you already want
more? Dear Merlin woman…

She shakes her head and hands him the jersey.

Malfoy holds it up to his face and breathes it in before placing it on a hanger and walking back into
the closet. Hermione feels like her eyes are about to jump out of her skull. He wasn't going to wash
it? After what they had just done? She had leaked all over the damn thing, and it probably had him
on it as well.

"You… You are hanging it back up!? Don't you want to wash it at least?"

She can hear him laugh at her from the open door.

"I will never be washing this."

Well, that is disgusting.

"It is covered in our bodily fluids, Malfoy!"

"I was there, Granger."

He walks out of the closet holding his wand, looking quite pleased with himself for making her so
uncomfortable.

"That is highly unsanitary."

 He shrugs. "Sex is messy."

"Yes but not cleaning the damn jersey means we will never be using it again, so no more of that
fantasy for you."

He lays down next to her and leans on his side to look at her. "I casted a selective scourgify. Don't
worry Granger, I have full plans for us to make use of that piece of clothing again."

"Selective?'

"Yes, the fluid is gone, but the smell is not."

She feels her cheeks and ears flush at his words. He snickers and starts playing with a few strands
of her hair that lay between them.

"Sorry, there wasn't too much teaching going on. I was a bit distracted. Next time I promise to
instruct you more."

Her flush travels onto her chest, and she feels her stomach flip.

"Okay, I did learn that it isn't a fork for me, and honestly, that is one of the best things I have
learned so far."

She smiles down at him and gives him a kiss on his cheek as she curls into his side. His hand
comes underneath her and wraps around her body, tugging her closer.

"There is still plenty to show you."

She closes her eyes and smells her scent mixed with his on his skin, and smiles.

"Can't wait for you to show me everything, Malfoy."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - rape is discussed.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

This chapter has a couple of direct quotes incorporated from Deathly Hallows. I have
placed ** next to these areas as they belong solely to J. K. Rowling, and are not mine.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Look, Draco, isn't it the Granger girl?"**

He looks up at his mother as he walks away from the Golden Trio, kneeling on his drawing room
floor.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Granger, how did you get here?

Why the fuck are you here?

I… just lie. Make it sound convincing. You just need to give enough doubt again for them not to
call the Dark Lord.

"I… yeah… maybe."**

His mother is looking past him at the three teenagers. He needs her to look at him. He needs her to
know.

Mother, please look at me. Please, I need you to understand.

"Cissy, what is… Who do we have here?"

He watches as his aunt takes in the scene and the vast amount of information thrown at her. Draco
only hears snippets. His mind scrambling for a solution, any solution, to the utter hell that was his
current situation.

"The Mudblood?"

He looks up at his aunt to see her glancing at him.

Shit.
She knows.

"Take these prisoners down to the cellar, all except…"**

He watches her turn her attention back to him as a wicked smile forms over her face.

"Except the Mudblood."**

No. No. No.

My fault. My fault. My fault.

"No! Take me, please take me instead!"**

Yes, please, take the wanker instead.

The thoughts continue on a loop as he stands frozen, watching his aunt grab his witch by her hair
and throw her to the ground.

"Tell me where you got the sword! Tell me, you filthy Mudblood."

"I don't know… I, I, don't…"

"Crucio!"

He watches as the curse hits Granger. Her head smashes off the ground as she starts screaming up
at the ceiling. Her whole body convulses as his aunt starts laughing and skipping around her.

This can't be happening.

This can't be fucking happening right now.

"Draco, take the scum away."**

Bellatrix points to the snatchers lying unconscious on the ground, but he can't concentrate. Not
with the worst sound in the world making every bone in his body ache to drop on top of her, to
cover her, to take her, and protect her from what was happening in front of him.

You didn't save her.

All that for nothing.

You are going to watch her die.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

"Draco." He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks to his right to see his mother staring at him.
"Move. Do as your aunt tells you."

The hand on his shoulder lightly squeezes. It is a warning. His mother has no desire to watch his
aunt discipline him like she had seen many times before.

The screaming stops, and he watches as Granger curls her body on the floor, trying to hide and
defend herself the only way she can.

He can hear her whimpers and groans as he walks over to the bodies of the stupefied snatchers.

Greyback.

Of course, it was fucking Greyback.

He knew the snatching unit was looking for the Chosen One everywhere. And if they found Potter,
they would more than likely find Granger. He had been trying to get on a unit for months instead of
being Umbridge's lackey. Doing everything the bitch of a woman asked him to do, to try and get in
the Dark Lord's good graces again after failing miserably the past year. It was the only way to keep
the people he cared about safe. It was the only way to be trusted with as much information and
access possible to ensure the unit failed.

Instead, he had.

He had failed her once a fucking gain.

He waves his wand and levitates the bodies as he hears her screaming begin once more. He turns
as he leaves the room to see his aunt straddling Granger, her face inches from her own, holding it
in place brutally by her curly mane.

I can't watch this.

But I can't stop watching this.

I can't leave her.

"Crucio!"

He squeezes his eyes shut and quickly walks behind the bodies.

He needs to get her out of here. But where? And how? If he goes down and lets Scar Head and
Weasel out, they will kill him and his parents. If he tries to help her, his aunt will kill them both.
Granger, what do I do?

He sees movement down the hallway and recognizes one of their house elves carrying a large
bucket of water.

"Mopsy, come here."

He can give this job to her so he can get back to being with Granger. The elf turns and gives him a
hateful look as she places the bucket down on the floor.

I miss Dobby…

Wait…

"Yes, Master?"

"I need you to apparate to Dobby and give him an urgent message."

The hateful sneer on the elf's face disappears at his words. "Dobby no longer work for the…"

"I know. I know that Mopsy. It isn't an order for him. I need you to tell him something for me.
Something I think he would like to know, and it is urgent. You know where he is, correct?"

The elf nods its head slowly, and Draco lets out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding.

This could work.

This could fucking work.

"Tell him that Harry Potter and his friends need his help at Malfoy Manor immediately. Tell him to
come right now!"

The elf's eyes widen for a moment, but then she nods, and Draco watches as she apparates away.

"Draco, what did you just do?"

He turns to see his mother looking at him.

"I… I can't let them hurt her, mother. I can't."

He watches as she takes in the information. He had wanted to tell her for so long. He wanted to take
that risk with her. Because a part of him needed to believe that he could trust his mother. He knew
he could never trust his father with the true person he was now, but he hoped, no, he needed to
believe that he could trust his mother.
"Please, please, mother. Help me get her out. I will occlude all of this. No one will…"

"You just killed us all."

He feels all of his hope crash at her words. He had no one. Not even his own mother. His eyes
begin to water, and he hears Granger start screaming even louder than before. He pushes past his
mother to get back to her. To be there for her in the only way he could. To show her she wasn't
alone.

He walks into the room and sees his aunt still splayed on top of her, but now Greyback is fucking
touching her, pressing his disgusting hands all over her skin, licking his lips as he strokes her. He
has her arm held out straight, and Draco watches in horror as his aunt takes a knife and starts
carving something into her flesh.

"No! Please! No! Help! Help me please!" His witch screams in pain.

"Draco, go get the goblin! And hurry back, don't want you to miss me playing with the Mudblood."

My fault my fault my fault.

She gives him a knowing grin before carving something else into her arm, and Granger begins to
scream again.

He turns and starts down the stairs to the dungeons.

"HERMIONE! HERMIONE!"**

"Ron you can't disapparate! Be quiet, someone is coming."**

"Draco Malfoy."

He jumps as the tiny house elf comes out of the shadows of the stairwell below him.

Thank Merlin.

"Mopsy told Dobby that Master Malfoy said Harry Potter needed his help."

"Yes. Yes Dobby, they are in the dungeons, but I need you to get Granger first and then…"

"No, Dobby helps Harry Potter."

“No, fuck Dobby listen to me!” He whispers and lowers himself down to the elf's eye level. "You
hear that? She is screaming, being tortured. Please go…"

"Dobby saves Harry Potter and then his friends."

"Ugh FUCK! Fine, I have to grab the goblin, then you apparate in. I will try to stall as long as I can.
She is in the drawing room."
He runs down the rest of the stairs, opens the door with shaky hands, and grabs the goblin, trying
not to make eye contact with the others.

He starts to drag him back into the room, when he hears the fucking redheaded idiot shout the
house elf's name.

Really, Granger? That moron?

He begins to stomp heavily, trying to drown out the commotion taking place in the dungeons, and
roughly handles the goblin, forcing him to make his own set of distressful noises.

His aunt is off Granger, but she lays unmoving on the floor. He stops in his tracks and feels his
body start to shake.

Her body.

Her red body that should be gold.

Her dead body.

Granger.

Suddenly, he watches his girl flinch and let out a weak sob. The blood all over her is coming from
her arm. He can't make out what his aunt had carved into her skin, but whatever it is has left her in
a puddle of her own blood.

He is walking closer to her to see if her eyes are open, when another noise comes from the damn
dungeons.

Granger, you have horrible taste in friends.

"What was that noise?"

His aunt turns her attention to him and opens her mouth.

"Draco ca…"**

"Wormtail go check on the prisoners."**

Draco blinks and looks over at his mother, who will not meet his eyes as she says the words.

Thank you...

He watches the man leave the room as his mother comes to stand beside him.
"Is it?! Is it the sword?" His aunt screams down at the goblin.

"No, it is a fake."

He watches his aunt slice the goblin anyways and turns back towards his witch on the floor.

"Let us call the Dark Lord then."

Hurry the fuck up, Dobby!

This girl created a damn organization for your lot, the least you can do is pull through for her.

"We can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her."**

Draco feels his stomach turn and bile come up his throat as he watches the werewolf smile and
move closer to his girl.

If he touches her, it's over.

I can't keep playing this role anymore.

"Draco, occlude now."

His mother whispers the words into his ear, and he feels her steady hands wrap around his arm,
which is shaking uncontrollably.

"I… I can't, mother."

"Yes, you can. If you want her to live. You will."

He looks at his mother, who darts her eyes to the floor below them. Down to the dungeons. He has
to give Dobby all the time he can. He has to sit and watch for as long as he can before he takes that
step.

Just as he nods his head, he hears the screeching voice of the Weasel come from behind him. His
mother pushes him out of the way and leaves his father to be hit by Potter's stupefy.

"Drop your wands!"**

He turns to see his aunt holding a knife up to the throat of a limp Granger.

He looks back at the two males with anger unlike any other as they both hesitate to lower their
wands.

Put her before you for once in your fucking lives!

Put her before the damn cause you so righteously fight for.
Potter puts his down first, but the redhead still holds his out towards the crazy witch.

If she dies, I will kill you right where you stand, Ronald Fucking Weasley. If she dies because of
your fucking pride, I will savor watching the life leave your eyes.

Finally, after too much time, the idiot lowers his wand, and Draco moves to collect them.

He tries to move closer to Granger, but he feels his mother pulling him quickly back away from his
witch. He is confused for a moment before he hears a noise and looks up, just in time to see the
chandelier come crashing down right towards Granger. He instinctively moves closer to the
horrible scene and raises his wand, trying to cast a shield charm over her chest to protect the vital
organs.

The moments become a blur as he watches the two boys fight, and he places horribly aimed spells
at the areas around them. No desire to ward them off at all. He sees Weasley pull Granger out of
the wreckage and watches as her arms go around his neck.

She's still alive.

She's still alive.

That is his last thought before he sees a knife thrown towards their bodies as Dobby disapparates
them, and the knife, out of the manor.

No. No. Nonononono!

Did the knife get her?

Is she… is she…

His thoughts are cut off as he feels the presence of the Dark Lord entering the room. The sound of
his snake following him into the dark space.

The adults all start talking in rapid succession. All trying to blame the disaster on each other. Draco
stands still, staring at the spot where she had just been. Occluding everything possible before what
is about to come.

"You have all failed me."

Draco turns around and faces the evil wizard.

If she is dead, I want to be dead as well.

"Crucio!"

He feels warm lips against the side of his face, moving quickly and quivering against his cold yet
sweaty skin.

"Please, Malfoy, please wake up. Feel this. Feel me. This is real. Come back."

He sucks in a breath of air and starts blinking rapidly with his heart rate. It is still dark out, but he
can feel pressure on top of him, moving and touching him all over.

All he sees is brown, and all he smells is lavender and vanilla.

Her.

Granger.

She moves her hair out of his face, and he sees her golden eyes looking at him with concern.

Merlin, you are beautiful…

"I'm okay." He wraps his arms around her, pulling her close to his wet skin. Her warmth seeps into
him and calms the tense muscles from the memory he was reliving.

"You… you started shaking and sweating, and I tried to wake you up. I thought touching you
would help bring you…"

"It helped. It helped immensely, Granger."

She plasters her face into the crook of his neck and takes a deep breath as her hands continue to
caress his body. With each sweet movement of her hand, each circling of her thumb, and gentle
kiss against his skin, he feels himself coming down from the terror he was reliving. Usually, he had
to occlude for quite some time after his nightmares to be able to function or to fall back asleep.

I like this way better.

"Thank you." He whispers into her ear before kissing her temple.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her whole body is resting on top of his, and he can't help but notice how perfect her body fits
against him. Every curve, and crease, and part of her meshes with his in a way that never feels
uncomfortable or out of sync.

"Just reliving the first drawing room night."

Her hands stutter on his abdomen at his words. He pulls her locks over one of her shoulders and
trails his hand underneath the t-shirt she is wearing to her bareback, sweetly yet not sensually
caressing her arse on the way. Her skin is so soft and warm, and he is becoming truly addicted to
this new ability to touch her whenever and wherever he wants.

"You were tortured for us escaping, weren't you?"

He nods his head as his hand explores the indentations of her spine, running up and down each
bump, counting them as he goes.

"I'm so sorry, Malfoy."

"I wouldn't change a thing, Granger. You got out of there alive, so every second was worth it."

"It was more than just getting me out of there alive. You got Harry out, and that was most
important. Without you, we wouldn't even have an Order anymore. You do see that don't you?"

She raises her head up from his neck, and Draco lets his hand wander to the dip between her
shoulders.

"I don't give a fuck about any of that, Granger."

She purses her eyebrows together, and he fights not to roll his eyes at the truly incredible witch
known for her brightness, being so dense at the moment.

"Well, you should! Everyone should know what you did, what you are continuing to do. The Order
doesn't know, do they?"

"Know what?"

She lets out a frustrated grunt and sits up, straddling him, crossing her arms over her chest. He feels
the warmth of her sex press against his dick, and he feels his blood start traveling south.

Oh bloody hell, I am going to have no control over you now.

"That you are on our side. That you have been a double agent."

He can't help the laugh that escapes his mouth. Merlin, she really could be clueless, couldn't she?
Brilliant, beautiful, captivating, sexy, hilarious, bossy, fiery, intelligent, cute, caring, but truly
clueless.

She thought of him as some younger version of Snape? Really? She thought he had done all of
those things and made those choices because he believed in their cause? That good would triumph
over evil without having to dip into the darkness themselves?

Absolute bollocks.

He honestly thought their cause was doomed from the get-go. Placing all of your worth and entire
ability on the back of a barely teenager with an ugly scar on his head and an absolutely oblivious
perspective and straight moral compass?

That wasn't a side he wanted to be on either.

Potter had rules. Rules and beliefs he would die for, that he would let others die for before giving
them up. How could ideologies such as that compete or win against those with no rules, willing to
sacrifice everything and everyone to get what they want?

It couldn't.

That whole idea came from children's folklore to try and make all of them better people. Of happily
ever afters always coming to those that stay in the light. That those shrouded in darkness were
weaker for it. That they lacked passion, love, and drive.

Once again, absolute bollocks.

In his experience, those emotions and desires are what had driven him into darkness and kept him
there. And a lot of the people around him did not choose to live in the shadows. That was where
they were caged by others.

He knew many stories of great battles and war were written by the true villains. The passing down
of knowledge was always left to those who had conquered. To the ones who had oppressed.

They always changed the story from one of disaster into one of victory. He knows that in the years
to come, and even as he is thinking right now, children are being taught that the Dark Lord was a
visionary. That he is saving their culture and world from the evil and filthy plague of Muggles and
Muggle-born wizards. That books were being written to tell the tale of the orphan boy who grew up
to become one of the most powerful wizards to ever live and saved their world. Because everyone
fought for something, even the Dark Lord. And not too many people saw themselves as the villain
in their own story.

Draco knew he was the villain in many people's eyes, as he should be. He was at peace with being
the one that was the face of darkness for their generation. That he would always be labeled in the
books to come as following well in his family's legacy and footsteps in serving the Dark Lord. That
he was the youngest Death Eater to ever be initiated into his army. That he had changed the course
of the world by completing his task with the Vanishing Cabinet.

That would be his legacy.

The legacy was shit, but no one would ever listen to a snake. No one would ever take the time to
hear the long and complex series of events and decisions that had led him to play the part he had
been forced to play at the fucking age of 14.

And even if they did, he couldn't disagree that his desires and motivations were entirely selfish.
They were not for some greater good. They were not because he knew all the things the Dark Lord
was doing were wrong, even though they were.

His motivation was lying on top of him right now.

He selfishly became adorned by the witch and had to make sure she stayed alive.

That was his cause.

"If that's how you want to see me, Granger, I won't stop you."
He lets his hands trail up the outside of her silky legs to rest on her naked hips. He can feel her hip
bones protruding slightly and her breath hitch as he runs his thumb in the crease of her leg and
abdomen.

"Wha… What are you doing?" She speaks out.

"Enjoying you."

He is sure she is sore from earlier, and he is trying to convince himself that he does not truly need
to be back inside her at the moment, even though his dick is not cooperating.

Yeah, Granger, you've made the fucking bastard turn wild on me. All it wants is you now.

He can't blame it, though. After having something he had been dreaming about for years finally
happen, it blew all of his sick fantasies out of the water.

He is about to let go of her hips when he feels the front of his briefs become damp. His hands
freeze as he looks up to see his girl blushing ridiculously into the crease of her neck, trying to hide
the evidence, but that isn't the evidence she needs to hide.

Hell yes. Fuck, don't ever try to hide wanting me, Granger.

"It seems like you are enjoying me as well."

He smirks up at her and moves his hands to the front of her abdomen, playing with the skin
between her sex and her navel. He feels her body start to move as she lets out a soft sigh as his
hands travel between her breasts and back down.

He is dying to see her naked. Fully and completely naked. In the light and on display for him to
worship.

We will win this war together, Granger.

One battle at a time.

Her hands rest on his chest, and she starts to trace the scars that paint along his alabaster skin.
"You can touch my breasts if you want."

"Will you take your shirt off?"

She pauses her movements and starts to bite her lower lip at his words.

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

It was still very dark. Draco can't see much of her rather than an outline and darker lines of
shadows over her body. She had said it had to be dark for her to be naked. She looks from his chest
to her own, and then back at the window.

After a few moments, she grabs her wand and waves it, doing some type of wordless magic he is
unsure of, before rising and grabbing the hem of the shirt and slowly pulling it over her head.

The world starts moving in slow motion as he watches her abdomen, her navel, the indentations of
her ribs, the lowest swell of her breasts, the galleon-sized nipples already hardened appear as the t-
shirt is removed from her body. Like a couple of hours ago, when he had moved his jersey up over
her legs and had seen her pussy for the first time, he just stares.

Mine.

All of this, all of her is fucking mine.

How did I get so damn lucky?

She is his. Entirely and completely his. The way he had always wanted. It is quite obvious the
genius witch doesn't know it yet, but they are together.

He was hers, and she was his.

That is what their deal was.

They were exclusive, they were sleeping together, they were fucking together, they were doing life
together. She called this room theirs. She buttoned his clothes, and he made her tea. She let him eat
her out for the first fucking time to his delight. They helped each other through the nightmares and
trials. They got jealous and were both possessive. She in a way that had pleasantly surprised him.

So like he said, they are in a relationship. Not some deal, not some flippant and easy fun.

They belong to each other.

He gives it a couple more days before the fact hits her. There was no need to rush this. There was
no need to force her to put labels on it when she was still working through so much. She would
realize someday.

But he could.

And he labeled her as his.

Wholly, and entirely, and only his.

"Please say something. You are making me nervous."

He shakes his head and comes back from his thoughts to move his hands to her perky delicious
breasts that he had been dreaming about touching. They are so full yet soft, and a solid handful. He
watches as Granger whips her head back and squeals lightly just from his simple caresses.
I think you love your breasts as much as I do.

"Sorry, but I couldn't say how your body leaves me speechless without it actually happening now,
could I?"

He rubs his thumb over her nipples and pulls them up. Her body follows, landing her now radiating
sex onto his dick, making it twitch in response.

"I think I want to be the student in this next lesson."

"What?"

He pushes her mounds together and raises to run his tongue along this new and incredible area of
her that he has yet to explore.

"I want to learn all about this body, Granger." He says it into the space between her breasts, licking
a line through the valley. "I want to map out every area with my mouth, my tongue. And where
they can't reach, my dick. I want to consume every piece of knowledge about this skin."

He holds her left breast in one hand and opens his mouth to devour the other one. Hearing her
delightfully intoxicating noises increase as he sucks in her nipple and tastes it with his tongue.

"Mmhh, why?"

He is a bit too consumed with shoving his face between her tits to hear her.

Merlin fuck me, I know I said I could live with my mouth on her sex, but I think I want to relocate
here. Right here.

He feels her tug at his ear, and he raises his head to rest on top of her breasts to see an amused yet
wary Granger.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked why?

"Why what?"

"Why do you want me?"

She puts a weird emphasis on the last words, almost making it sound like a derogatory phrase or an
insult. Like she has seriously no idea why anyone would want her.

He hadn't thought about it in a couple of hours, but the thoughts of how to slowly kill Dolohov
creep back into his mind. He had changed her. The idea that people did not have the power to
change one another was something he had seen destroyed time and time again.

He saw how Theo's father had changed him. He saw how she had changed him. And now he sees
how that sociopath had changed her. Dolohov had changed her assurance. Made her question one of
the areas of herself she was the most confident in, her mind. And once the mind was believed to be
weak, once you stopped believing in your own ability to trust yourself, everything else tended to
crumble.

She was good at being strong for others, but not for herself. She was so good at being there for
everyone else that he thinks she forgets about herself sometimes.

"I have wanted you for years, Granger. You have to know that by now."

Her eyes shoot up at his words, and she pulls her amazing breasts further away from him, and he
almost fucking whines at their absence.

"Wait, what? You… You have found me attractive for years? How long?"

Draco, realizing that he will not be allowed access to her breasts until she is satisfied with his
verbal responses, leans back on his hands and looks up to where the moonlight is making the gold
in her eyes shimmer.

"Honestly? No clue. I didn't want to be attracted to you, so I fought it like hell. The first time I
admitted it to myself and to Theo was 4th year."

She rolls her eyes at him for some reason.

"Ugh, the Yule Ball? I had no idea my dress was so scandalous in the wizarding fashion sense. But
all you boys made it very obvious."

"What does that mean?"

He did agree that her dress had been shocking due to the style and material. She had definitely
purchased it in the Muggle world, as no sensible witch would have worn something so…
translucent and wispy and… eye-grabbing. Just like the blue jeans she always wore.

"Do you know how many blokes touched me or my dress that night? I was sincerely convinced
Pansy or Ginny cast some spell or something."

"Who laid their hands on you?"

If she says Zabini, I will transfer the fucker to Flint's group.

She huffs and sits back on him farther, and he tries to hide the moan she causes by putting pressure
on his dick once more. The witch is so wrapped up in her thoughts that she doesn't even notice.

"The whole lot of them! Cormac, of course, the git. I caught Seamus for crying out loud, grabbing
onto the sleeve. Oh, and Flint! He rubbed his hand up my back and then had the nerve to wink at
me! And of course, Viktor."

Draco sneers at the name of the man. "Fucking predator."

"Who? Cormac?"

"No, Krum."

He didn't understand how everyone seemed bloody fine with the fact that some 7th year was taking
a 4th year girl to a dance and disappearing down dark corridors together.

He was only a year older than the man was, and he can't imagine being interested in a 4th or 5th
year girl. Because that is what they are. Girls.

Children.

"Krum kept his hands mostly to himself until later that night, and I must admit that I wanted him to
touch me."

"That doesn't fucking matter, Granger. You were barely 15, and he was 18. He knew better. He
shouldn't have even asked you to that dance."

"Ugh, you sound just like Ronald. But I can't disagree with you there. Now that I am of that age, it
is very obvious how wrong that actually was. Luckily for my young and naive mind, he had just
been using me for notoriety, no doubt. Trying to place a name that got as much press as his did."

Add that bastard to the list of men who used her. Fuck did any of the men in her life not use her?
Maybe Potter, though he would never admit that out loud. It was obvious they had a real
friendship. And Theo didn't use her. But everyone else…

"You did look stunning in that periwinkle dress, but no, it was not the Yule Ball. It was earlier that
year."

She perks up, eager to know another one of his many secrets.

"When?"

"The first long project we were assigned to work on together. You were late to our study session
due to what I am assuming was some act of saving Potter or Weasel's arse. You came running in
with your robes half on, swimming in some Merlin awful sweater that had Molly Weasley written
all over it, and your hair was everywhere, but instead of thinking 'ugh, Granger,' my mind said,
'wow, Granger.' Theo had seen it on my face and made me admit it, the fucker."

He smiles and looks up at her to see her eyes hooded and in deep concentration.

"I remember the assignment, but I don't remember that moment."

Draco shrugs. It didn't bother him that she had never been on the same page as him. It was his own
damn fault. He had been cruel, and then distant, and then aloof. It wasn't her responsibility to be
where he was at, nor could she read his mind.

"You were my first crush."

Wait… What the fuck?

His eyes lock back on hers at her words.

"What?"

She lets out a little giggle and pulls a couple strands of her hair back behind her head, still
completely naked on top of him, like it is the easiest thing in the world.
"Yes. Back when I read the Prophet before school. When I saw your picture. I think my mother
knew it was a crush. I talked incessantly about your hair and your library. Then you had to go
muck it up with your horrible personality."

She is trying to be funny, but he is in no mood for laughing. Or for her jokes.

"You're kidding."

"No, Malfoy, I am not. I think you are why I always have preferred lighter hair on men."

I have never hated myself more than in this moment…

She said these words like they weren't axis-shattering, breath-catching, and stomach-turning
changing. She liked him from day one? If he hadn't been such a prick, so fucking cruel, and
prejudiced, and nasty, how would their stories be different?

"Well, you are the reason I prefer brunettes over blondes, as you like to say."

She laughs at him, and he smiles at her.

"Well, we made it here. Only almost nine years and a lot of fucked up decisions and actions later."

He sits up and starts rubbing his hands on her bare arms.

I'd do it all again, Granger.

"Yes, we did."

Her expression turns from relaxed to something different as they look at each other. Her gaze
moves from his eyes, to his lips, to his chest, and then meets his eyes again.

"I am naked."

He smirks. "Yes."

"I don't feel nervous."

"You shouldn't."

He moves his hands back to her breasts and starts caressing them as he lowers his mouth to her
nipples.

"Don't, don't leave a mark there, please."

He nods his head and turns his sucks into light kisses over the skin, licking the circumference of
each one before rising to her mouth.

She kisses him back as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling her naked chest up against his.
His hands trail along her back to the arch of her arse before traveling back up.

She starts cantering her hips into him, and he breaks the kiss as he grunts at the pressure she is
placing on his dick, which is already straining against the material of his briefs.

I think we are about to shag again. Yes! Yes! Fuck yes!

Granger slightly raises her body off of his and grabs hold of his waistband. He raises his hips and
helps her pull down the material as she wraps around him and starts kissing his neck and collarbone
hard. He feels her teeth grazing the bones, sending a shiver through him. Her one hand comes up
and starts rubbing his chest.

Touch me, Granger. Please, never stop touching me.

Her hands are trailing across his chest, and Draco is so lost in the sensations that he doesn't notice
as she reaches his nipples and then twists. Draco jumps and lets out a laugh slash wail at the action.
A sound that he will forever claim came from the woman straddling him.

"Malfoy! Are your nipples ticklish?"

Oh, bloody hell, this woman…

With that knowledge.

Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

"No, it just caught me off…"

She reaches up with her other hand, does it again to elicit the same fucking response, and starts
laughing uncontrollably.

Well… I hate this.

No girl had ever laughed while in the middle of a heated moment with him. No one ever. Yet here
she was, of course, with his strained dick in between her glorious legs, resting against her stomach,
laughing at his weakness.

"You have ticklish nipples!"

His witch reaches for both of them, but he grabs her wrists before she can make that truly
mortifying noise come out of him again.

"I am not enjoying this, Granger."

"Oh, come on! Lighten up, Malfoy! I like knowing your nipples are ticklish. It's endearing."

"It's embarrassing."

"I have a very large group of freckles on my right arse cheek that literally looks like a coffee
smudge that I hate."

Without warning, she raises her leg over him and twists to face the other way giving him a view of
her round and luscious backside.

"You definitely have the best arse, Granger."

He hears her laugh as he reaches out and grabs her cheeks. His dick is resting happily between her
crease, and he can't stop staring at the view. The wonderful view. If he squints hard, he can see the
area she and Theo had talked about.

I have definitely seen more of her now, Theo. Eat shit!

He moves his thumb over the area of freckles that are so close that they look like one large mark.

"I like knowing you have a coffee smudge on your arse."

"I like knowing you are ticklish."

"How about this information stays between the two of us?"

She whips her leg back over him to turn and face him again. Making her breasts jiggle with the
movements. "Deal."

She lowers herself towards him and captures his mouth with her own. He winds his hand into her
hair, yanks her head back, and bites her lip as he thrusts his hips up to place pressure on both of
their sexes.

Damn, I need to be inside you again. I need to be a part of you again…

"If you're too sore, we don't…"

"I like this kind of sore. I want to."

Fuck yes. That's my girl.

He moves his mouth to her neck and starts biting at her skin as she raises herself up and starts
stroking him with her hand. Her palm is warm and soft, moving up and down his shaft, spinning
and squeezing in all the best places.

The woman was fantastic with her hand and her mouth. He had never had someone take him all in
like she had, and he had never had someone enjoy it as much as she seemed to.

"Fuck Granger, you are gorgeous."

He hears her moan at his words as he starts kneading and kissing her breasts that she shoves into
his face.

Soon, love, I will show you everything. And I will have you coming again and again until even
those pretty little noises have no strength to leave those edible lips of yours.

He moves his hand in between them, slides two fingers between her folds, and feels how wet she
already is. She was always wet for him, and it was such a turn-on.

Her hand working him positions itself on his base, and he feels her rise up on her knees.

This position tended to hurt girls more in his experience, going deeper than missionary. He had
held back last time. Draco knew he would probably have to for a while due to what she had been
through, but after what they had done a few hours ago, he still isn't sure if her being on top is the
best idea. Plus, he knew how she liked his comforting weight on her during the act. This left her
exposed.

"You sure you want to do this position?"

The woman pauses and uses her free hand to push him back down to the floor. He thinks she is
going to raise her leg over him again, but instead, the brilliant witch gives him a smile full of
sensuality he had never seen before that makes the rest of the blood in his body travel down
between his legs.

She leans forward, placing one hand affectionately against his cheek; her lips are almost on his…

"This isn't my first time riding a dragon."

Bloody hell, Granger...

She sinks down onto him with one thrust and his hips jerk at the incredibly tight sensation that
surrounds and grabs onto his shaft. He feels his tip hit against her cervix, and he almost comes at
the overwhelming intimate and erotic sensation.
He has been in her.

He has touched as far as possible.

He knows what it feels like to be inside her.

Mine.
She places her hands on his chest for support and throws her hair over her shoulder as she rolls her
hips up and down, taking him all the way in until he hits against her cervix every time.

"Fuck Granger! I love the way you feel inside."

"You.. you hit something. Can, can you feel it?"

He grabs onto her hips, fighting his nature to start thrusting up into her as hard as he can, making
her hold on for dear life.

He starts picking her up and rolling her over his dick before raising her again, putting pressure on
her clit in the process. A series of her wonderful noises come out with each movement.

"Yes, I can fucking feel it. I am hitting your cervix, Granger. I am as far as I can be inside you.
Merlin, I love watching my dick disappear into you."

He watches as his coated in her essence shaft comes in and out of her. He takes one of his hands,
grabs her chin, and pulls her face down.

"Watch me. Watch me fuck you, Granger. Watch as you take it all."

She looks down, and Draco slowly inserts himself into her, leaving his dick deep within her as he
circles her body on top of his. The only thing visible is his balls.

"Oh my gods… Malfoy, please, please move. I need you to move."

He squeezes both of her hips and starts thrusting into her harder and faster, making her fall
forward, holding herself up by her elbows.

He can hear the wet sounds of their skin slapping against one another.

"Malfoy! Fuck! Fuck me! Please keep fucking me."

He feels his balls tighten at her filthy mouth.

Not yet, Malfoy! Not until you get her off, damn it!

"Sit up."

He helps her back up with his hand as she raises, and he sinks his dick back into her hard.

"Yes, yes, like that, Don't stop."

He pushes one hand hard against her abdomen, and the other holds her around her back. He can
feel his dick moving inside her underneath his hand on her stomach as he thrusts.

This is mine too.

"Give me your hand, love."

She takes one hand off of her knee that she is using to help support her rhythm of thrusts.

Draco takes over the movements as he presses her own hand into her abdomen.

"Feel that? That is me inside you. Deep, fully inside you, Granger."

Her body shakes at his words, and he feels her walls tighten around him as she gets closer to that
edge.

"This pussy of yours takes all of me. Remember how big you said I was? Feel how far I am inside
you, Granger. Feel as I take all of you."

"Yes, take me, have me. It's yours."

He begins to thrust even harder, losing all control of holding back.

"Yes, you're mine. This body is mine. These breasts are mine. This pussy is mine. This mouth is
mine. All of it. Every piece. Mine."

As he says the last words, he hears her soft scream as her walls tighten to the point that makes
Draco blackout for a moment before he begins to come himself. As the intense feeling takes over
his body, and her walls clench his dick that is spilling onto the wall of her cervix, he brings her
face to his and kisses her deeply. He loves kissing her as he comes. He loved claiming, being,
filling all of her with him all at the same time.

"Fuuuck…"

Her walls still are spasming around him as she gives up on holding herself up and falls on top of
him, pushing him down as well.

He keeps kissing her well past when her insides stop squeezing him. Leaving himself inside her,
playing in her mouth and with her lips. Not ready to stop touching her.

I never want to stop touching you, Granger.

"I love doing this." She says it in between their lips, and he smiles as he pulls back.

"Yeah? You're a fan of sex with me?"

She nods her head exuberantly, casting her wild curls into his face.

"Oh, sorry! But yes, very much. You are very good at it."

"We are very good at it."

He moves his lips to her sweaty forehead and kisses her gently. She curves her arms over his chest
and rests her head on them, looking up at him.

"Does it hurt for you to be inside me still?'

"Not at all. If it hurts you, though, I can pull out…"

"No! Stay, please. I like it."

For some reason, that may be one of the sweetest and most vulnerable things she has ever said to
him.

He was so grateful that she trusted him. That he had finally earned that trust. That she was still
willing to give him this. All of this. Everything. After all the shit and mistakes he had made when it
came to her.

"I think. I think tomorrow I want to try to sleep in the bed. It doesn't seem to bother me as much
without the four posters. Maybe we could take a nap during the day and see how that goes."

Merlin, his witch is amazing. After witnessing the images and seeing what had happened to her, he
had made the declaration that he would forever sleep on the damn floor with her if needed.

"Okay, only if you want to. Because if a bed is a fork for you, it can be a fork for me."

Even though it is dark, he knows the brunette is blushing at his words.

"Leaving me speechless again, Malfoy."

"Get used to it, Granger."

"Hey, lovebirds! Sorry to interrupt the incessant shagging going on! Thanks for the wonderful
soundtrack, by the way. You have some lovely climax noises, Granger! But a lead owl just flew
in."

"Oh my gods, we are truly horrible at…"

Draco doesn't hear the rest of her words as he processes what Zabini just said.

A lead had just been dropped off.

But he hasn't created a lead since the last one.

He planned to go out tomorrow and spend the day circulating shit.

He hasn't created one since the last mission.

This isn't one of his leads.

Fuck.

"Do you want me to come with you on this one as well? You can break the spells on some of the
books they brought, and we could research together. I will even allow you to be the note taker and
use your debatably better system as you like to…"

"I didn't create this lead."

"What?"

He feels his body drop in temperature and freeze. All of his muscles become searingly tight, to the
point he is convinced something is about to snap.

"I didn't create this lead."

"That… That means it could…"

He sits up sharply, pulling himself out of her and gently placing her next to him as he brings his
hands up to cover his face.

What do I do?

What if it is accurate?

What if I have to kill again?

"Granger, what do I do?"

He feels her warm hand on his back, but his body has become so cold that it makes his breath catch
in his chest, making him lurch forward out of her grasp.

"You play the part, Malfoy. You do what you have to do to survive."

There is no judgment in her voice. No waiver or sadness, or fear. It is absolute, sure, convinced of
its truth even before she says it.

She is fucking terrifying.

He nods his head at her before closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders.

Push it all back, Malfoy. Put it behind your walls.

To survive.

To live.

He feels the tension and splintering of his muscles relax as he hides away his emotions.

"Okay."

He stands up and walks into their closet, grabbing the bag on the top shelf. She tosses him a pair of
briefs and pants, throwing on one of his t-shirts as he opens the bag to ensure he has everything he
needs. He slips on the briefs and trousers. When he turns, she is standing there with one of his
shirts, raising it for him to slip into.

He knows he should feel something at the action but finds he can't with the solid walls around his
mind.

"Thank you."

He says as she helps him slip the shirt over his arms and starts buttoning them up to his neck.

She nods her head, knowing what he has done, knowing there was no point in reacting right now
with how deep he was.

He slings the bag over his shoulder and opens the door back down to the game room.

"Blaise and Pans went back to grab their bags. They said they will be back in a few. Why don't we
all go on this one, and we can research together? It may be…"

"I didn't create this lead, Theo."

Draco watches as the brunette drops the chips in his hands that he had been cleaning up.

"Shit."

Theo runs his hand through his hair and looks back at him.

"What do we do?"

"We play our part."

"But what if…"

"You stay back with Granger. I'll have Blaise and Pans come."

He sees his brother hesitate before letting out a huff of air and Accio for his robes.

"No, I'm coming. And don't try to stop me, Draco. Not this time."

Theo shrugs on his robes and begins to button them as they hear Granger open the door.

"I, I made you both a thermos of burnt chocolate."

She comes up beside him and places the cylinders into his bag before handing him his robes.

"Hermione, do you…"

"Yes, I know."

They all just stand in silence. No one looking at each other. All of them realized what tonight could
be. How it could become so many different things to any of them.

He takes the lead papers off the card table and presses his hand to the third sheet revealing the
apparition point.

Until then, he held out hope that maybe this was a lead he created. That one of the leads that had
not successfully made its way up the chains of command had somehow miraculously made it
through. But the location is foreign to him.

This is real.

This is happening.
 "Theo, let's go. We will meet them at the base and have Pans come back here and stay with
Granger."

Nott takes a loud gulp and nods his head, following Draco out of the room and towards the
fireplace.

He grabs a handful of powder.

"Dr- Malfoy!"

Her warm hand grabs his cold hand, and he feels those walls breaking like she always did.

I will do it, Granger.

I will kill again if I have to.

To keep you.

He turns, and she grabs his face and pulls it down to hers to place a harsh and desperate kiss
against his lips. She opens her mouth, and he consumes her with his tongue as he curls his arm
around her, pressing her beautiful, warm, and good body against his.

"Please, please stay alive, Malfoy. Whatever you have to do. Stay, stay alive."

She says it as she pulls away, and he sees the tears streaming down her face.

She looks at Theo and then quickly looks back at the floor.

"You too, Theo. On the inside and on the outside."

"We'll try our best, Hermione. Love you."

"I love you too."

Draco isn't looking at her as she says it, throwing the powder into the fireplace, and stepping in.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Torture and gore at the beginning of the chapter.

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram
 Ron
Chapter Notes

Uhh yeah… Surprise!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Merlin's saggy left tit…"

He whispers as he listens to the bottle he dropped roll across the floor. He stands frozen in the
shadows until he hears it lightly hit the wall.

These shoddy run-me-down safehouses and their uneven floors…

Pressing his body up against the opposite wall, he waits to hear footsteps on the creaky stairs. One
minute. Two minutes. No one comes.

He lets out his breath and quickly feels around the floor for the bottle, finds it, and stands up to
inspect it.

Thank Merlin.

The blueish smoke-like substance is still in the container, and the bottle isn't cracked.

Not that he had any real desire to keep a fucking memory of his best friend being tortured and
cursed, but they would know it was him if they found anything tampered with.

He places the vial at the end of the other seven inside the magically sealed case and locks it.

Ron turns, and as he opens the door, he stops abruptly and jumps.

"Blimey Ginny! You scared me."

His sister looks at him in a way he knows guarantees pain.

"You should be. How fucking stupid are you, Ron!? To do this today of all days, when this house
is filled with the highest-ranking Order members and…"

"Oh yeah, all 12 of them. Bugger off Gin, I had to before the meeting."

She glares at him and then inspects his appearance.

Aw bloody hell… Here it comes.

"You're pissed again." She shakes her head in disappointment.

"Yeah, and I'm about to take one too, so if you would just move…" He pushes past her and makes
his way down the hall to the lavatory that is more of a hole in the ground than an actual loo.

She growls in frustration and follows behind him. "Do you not remember mum's threat to hang you
up by your ears if she sees you sloshed one more damn time? You hiding it in her bag again?"

"There are way bigger problems in the world than me having a drink."

"You having a singular drink, sure, but we all know that's not how it goes for you, Ron. And you
drunk causes more problems in this already fucked up world."

He goes to shut the lavatory door behind him, but his rash and no-respect-for-any-boundary little
sister slams the door open, then magically seals it, placing a silencing charm around the room.

"Gin, I am taking a piss whether you are here or not, so unless you want…"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Ron! I have lived with six brothers my entire life. I have seen more cocks
than a whore from Knockturn Alley."

He lets out a groan, knowing there is no way he is going to win against the annoying witch, and
turns to take care of his business.

"You didn't have to risk it before the meeting, and you know that, especially if you're sozzled.
Kingsley already told us…"

"It's different seeing it, Ginny. It… it's different. I had to see it before the meeting."

He zips his trousers up and turns back around to his sister, crossing his arms and leaning against
the broken cabinet missing the door.

I'd take the loo with Moaning Myrtle over this shit-hole. Even one with that gods awful and smelly
troll from first year.

Ginny lets out a sigh and starts rubbing her chest back and forth as she looks at him. "Was what
Kingsley told us accurate?"

"Yes."

He has to close his eyes at the images that start playing across his mind. Images of her being hit by
a green light. Images of her skin literally falling off her body, leaving her red, mutilated, and
looking nothing like the person he had known for over eight years. Images showing her screaming
and pleading for the pain to stop. Images of the fucking ferret levitating her out of the room.

"It was Malfoy again. He has to have her. They must have taken her away from Dolohov for some
reason."
"And it was Malfuck who cast the curse?"

Ron nods his head, keeping his eyes closed. Her screaming was a constant sound in his mind. Had
become a constant for him ever since she was tortured at Malfoy Manor, and he had to listen to
her.

"Did he…"

"No, he didn't touch her. Didn't even have the fucking decency to carry her out like that nutsack
Nott at least did last time."

I cannot wait for the day when I get to put my hands on you again, Malfoy. And this time, she won't
hold me back.

Ginny comes to lean on the wall next to him, kicking an old and ashy pile of candles out of the
way.

"Well… At least she isn't being raped anymore."

Ron scoffs as the words leave his sister's mouth. He couldn't disagree that the memories the Dark
Lord sent the last two months were much easier to watch.

When the first one was sent, Kingsley kept it a secret until the next month, the same thing
happened.

He brought the information about the memories forward at the next meeting, but he left out the
details of the specifics of what was being done to Hermione.

By the third month, Ron knew Kingsley was lying to them about something. And he was fed up
with being treated as the lackey in the group. His sister had helped him procure a magical key for
the cabinet Kingsley kept in his private office next to the Pensieve at all times. And after
Shacklebolt confirmed that another memory was sent, he broke into the office and watched every
single one of the nightmare-inducing, never-be-able-to-unsee memories. He had vomited six times.
To the point that nothing came up by the end as he dry heaved next to the Pensieve.

Hermione…

I wish it was me.

It should have been me.

His sister had to knock him out to stop him from confronting Kingsley for keeping what was being
done to Hermione a secret. The only thing the man told them was she was being used during the
spectacles, but that she was alive and gave them information during these memories via some
muggle code his father identified.

He had never told them she was being raped. Horribly, brutally, and sickeningly used while still
tapping her fingers on the floor; telling them about You Know Who's state, where they were
moving forces, where he and the snake were located. Where she was.

When Ron woke up hours later in the make-shift infirmary that was two cots and a disease-ridden
floor, he had thrown up again and told Ginny everything. He had to take Draught of Peace every
day since to keep himself from doing something extremely rash and not helpful in the slightest, as
Ginny liked to put it.

Punching Kingsley wasn't a solution. Confronting his parents, who had been in the private
meetings where the memories were viewed by themselves and the other selected Order officials,
wouldn't be helpful either. He didn't have enough say in the meetings to sway anyone one way or
the other.

The third pointless wheel to the Golden Trio. The one they could survive without. The one that
they were stuck with. The least of them all, as everyone always loved to fucking remind him.

His sister holds out a calming potion, and he downs it without thinking.

"If you think the bastard isn't touching her, you are mental, Gin. He just isn't during these bloody
spectacles because he has to keep up appearances in front of his father."

"What does that mean?"

He throws the glass vial against the opposing wall, still feeling his anger after taking the potion.
"He has wanted to fuck her for years, Ginny! And now he is."

He'd give it to the ferret that he hid it pretty well for a long time. But Ron saw right through him.
He saw the way his eyes would always follow her. How he always sat at the Slytherin table at an
angle where he could see her. How when she punched him, he kept the fucking scar. How he
definitely rigged the partner sortings 6th year because almost every damn class they had together,
they ended up being partnered. How he switched places with Pansy on nights when she was
scheduled to do prefect rounds with 'Mione. Or that Ron used Harry's map and always caught
Malfoy finding and talking to her when she was alone in the hallways or in the stacks at the library.
Way more than she would ever admit to either him or Harry. How he had been following them at
the Battle of Hogwarts.

His hate for the bastard stemmed from more than the way he treated him and Harry. He knew the
psychopath had a twisted fixation on her, and now he had been given her, and Ron knew the fucker
wouldn't pass up on the opportunity.

And you egged him on, you git. And didn't confront him enough about it.

He feels a pang in his heart at the memory.

He had been turning in his forms from the prefect patrol he finished. Ron was waiting outside the
office when in came walking the bastard. He knew he would probably see the blonde at some
point, since he was also scheduled to work that night, but it didn't stop the two of them from
freezing and sneering at one another.

Malfoy had looked at the open seats next to him then back at the closed door, which meant they
would have to wait as the secretary was busy.
He let out an annoyed huff and then sat in the farthest chair from him.

"Weasel King."

"Ugly lizard."

Malfoy scoffed. "Oh, come on, you can do better than that. If you are going to insult me, at least
make it believable. We both know calling me ugly is far from the truth."

"Okay, fucking bastard."

The git let out a snort, and Ron raised his head to glare at him. He hated when people laughed at
him when he was being serious.

"Language there, Weasel. Don't think Granger would be too happy hearing those filthy words leave
your mouth."

And there it is again…. It always comes back to her with you, doesn't it? I see right through you,
Malfoy.

"You have said worse things, and directly to her and about her, so I think I will be just fine," Ron
responds.

"Yeah, and I got punched in the face, and slapped just minutes ago by the girl for saying cock, so
unless you want to share in my fate."

Ron felt his anger coursing through his body. He knew what the prick was doing. He was trying to
rile him up in one of the best-known ways. Hermione. Why was she anywhere near him minutes
ago to say something to the fucker? She wasn't on the schedule tonight. And he knew she had been
in the common room when he had left their dormitory.

If Harry had her following Malfoy around to watch him, he was going to blow his top. Harry
promised Ron that he would not rely on her to help him in his growing obsession with Malfoy.

He shouldn't bite. A part of him knew that was exactly what the snake wanted, but as usual, his
temper got the better of him.

"And why were you anywhere near her minutes ago? Or were you taking 10 more points from her
for being Muggleborn?"

The blonde bastard smirked down at him and e back in his chair.

"We were assigned to work together on the Dark Arts project a few days back. It has turned into a
real-time consumer. I probably have spent more time with the girl than you, Weasel." Ron could
feel his face turning red with heat. And so could the Slytherin, who seemed inspired by his anger
as he continued. "Anyway, we have many options in front of us for the way we could take the
assignment, so she agreed to walk my patrol with me and discuss them. The girl seemed desperate
for some stimulating conversation that I am sure she is lacking due to the… company she keeps."

Okay, ferret. Two can play this game.

"Careful there, Malfoy, that almost sounded like you gave her a compliment."

He watched the smirk fall from his face, and a flash of something Ron doesn't really understand
shows in his features before he blinks, and his eyes are stone again.

"Granger is smart. That is a fact, not a compliment. But I understand why you would confuse the
two, with your abundant experience with the opposite sex. I heard that Brown said you were as
eloquent with your hands as you are with your words."

Ron kicked back his chair that smashed off the wall behind him. And forgot to hold on to his
paperwork that flew all over the floor.

He needed to punch something. Preferably a tall, racist, pureblood.

Before he could make contact, Malfoy had his wand out and twirled it between his fingers, like he
wasn't a threat.

"I would sit back down if I were you. Don't want to be expelled for attacking a student, now do
we? Which you know I will do."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Of course, just wait til your father hears about this, right?"

Malfoy stops twirling his wand and sneers at him. "Shut your fucking mouth wanker. One word
from me, and you are gone."

Damn it, he was right. He couldn't fight him. At least not in this obvious way. The last thing Harry
needed was for him to not be here to help him with the possible war looming over all of them. They
all felt it. They all knew it was just a matter of time.

"Your time is coming, Malfoy, just you wait."

He said it between clenched teeth as he bent to pick up the papers he had dropped. He heard the
snake let out a humorless laugh above him.

"Oh, Weasel, you have no idea…"

He sat back in his chair and tried to organize the forms how Hermione liked them to be turned in.
She had already yelled at him 11 times for filling them out wrong, or turning them in a mess.

He saw how some of the edges were bent. The 4th page had a large grease stain from when he
grabbed a snack on his route. He could basically hear her going mental on him already.

"She is going to have my head for this..." He said it more to himself, not really wanting to engage
with the bloke sitting next to him.

"Tell you what, Weasel, I'll throw you a bone with her since it doesn't seem like you can do it
yourself. And of course, because it helps me out immensely as well."

He didn't look up from his forms as he tried to press his shirt into the grease stain to seep up some
of the mark to make it look less noticeable.

Two tickets fell into his lap.

Tickets to some old manuscript collection on display in Italy over the weekend.
"What the hell, Malfoy?"

"I need the know-it-all gone this weekend, and you can make sure she is by taking her to that."

He looked up at the Slytherin skeptically. Did he seriously think he was stupid enough to fall for
this?

"And why do you need her gone?"

Malfoy shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair again.

"She wants to take our project in a different way than I want to. So I plan to start it this weekend
without her and get far enough into the process so she can't argue her way out of it when she comes
back."

Ron looked back down at the tickets in disgust. No way was he going to take her to the event. One,
it sounded like an absolute bore. And two, he had sworn a long time ago to do nothing to ever make
the ferret's life easier or better.

"Malfoy! I created a list of pros and cons that we discussed earlier, and I think you will find that
my suggestion to focus on the, oh hi Ronald, wait…"

Ron looked up to see Hermione handing Malfoy some pieces of parchment while glaring at the
ones in his hand, and he felt a lump form in the back of his throat. "You have got to be joking! Ron,
those forms are a mess. You cannot hand them in looking like that. Here, give them to me, and I
will re-do them."

He grimaced up at her and handed her the papers, secretly relieved she wouldn't make him do it
himself.

"Thanks' Mione."

As he handed them to her, the two tickets fell through the papers and onto the floor.

Hermione bent down to grab them, and Ron watched as Malfoy's eyes lingered on her arse. He
reached forward and grabbed her shoulders, making her turn her body away from Malfoy and
placing her arse that Ron knew looked fucking fantastic in her jeans, away from the snake.

"Ron, what are you doing?"

His eyes stayed on Malfoy, who blinked and shook his head lightly before making eye contact with
him again. They both stared at each other in a silent challenge Hermione was utterly oblivious of.

I saw that, you bastard. I always see it.

"Wait, are these tickets for… Ron, where did you get these? And why do you have them? Because
I know you have no desire to go to a book exhibit."

What should he do? Should he out Malfoy? What would be her reaction to this gesture of his that
had a second meaning that the ferret was still lying about, no doubt. He looked up and saw her eyes
glinting at the tickets in her hand, and he felt himself softening at the look. While the girl could
make him tense up more than any other human alive, she also made him go soft like no one else
could.

"They're for you."

It wasn't a lie, but it really wasn't the truth either. He looked at Malfoy to see him smirking and
shaking his head down at the ground.

"Really?"

He nodded his head and swallowed the lump that was still stuck in his throat.

"Then why are there two?" She asked.

Aw bloody hell, I am going to have to stare at old smelly pieces of paper for hours, aren't I? While
she rattles off about facts, I can't keep in my head if I tried. Malfoy set this up. He set me up.
Fucking bastard.

"Thought I'd tag along."

This time, Malfoy scoffed out loud, and Ron grabbed onto the chair to stop himself from launching
at him.

"Oh well, that, that sounds okay. I made plans with Ginny to go to Hogsmead, but I can reschedule,
I am sure. Thank you, Ron. I was just talking about this exhibit with someone a few days ago and
how I longed to go."

She gave him a real, full smile that was everything about Hermione wrapped up into one gesture.
Big, bold, and bright, and he felt it affecting him as he smiled back at her and nodded his head.

They never made it to the exhibit. If he was honest, part of him was happy the Battle of the
Astronomy Tower happened when it did. It may not have saved Dumbledore, but it had saved him
from being bored to death at that exhibit all weekend. But he wishes he would have come clean.
He wishes he would have told her more often to watch her back with the blonde snake.

Ginny's loud scoff brings him out of the memory and back to his horrible reality.

"You know how mental you sound, right? That Draco Fucking Malfoy, blood purity supremacist
incarnate, would want to shag Hermione of all people. Trust me, if the ferret wanted a good shag,
he could get it easily enough from what the girls said in school."

"I'm not saying he would bloody marry her! I am saying he would enjoy raping her! Getting her
back for all the years she beat him at everything. Making him look like a fool. He would enjoy
taking his anger out on her in the way that he knew would hurt the most. He has had this twisted
obsession with her since school. I tried to show her, but she of course, would never fucking listen to
me. What does totally average, waste of space Ronald Weasley know compared to The Brightest
Witch of Our Age?"

"Oh, stop it, Ronald, you can't blame her! You said that about any bloke who got within six feet of
her. You even said the same about Harry back then, and if you aren't sure yet, he was much more
into fucking redheads than brunettes."
He sneers at his sister's crassness about her own sexual life.

"I know what I am talking about, Gin."

She lets out an indignant huff next to him, and he raises his hand to push his longer-than-normal
red hair out of his eyes. Hermione usually cut it for him, and he hadn't ever learned any charms to
do the job himself.

"Where is… Harry?" He asks. He is trying to change the subject and address something he should
be knowledgeable about before the meeting.

Ron looks over at his sister to see her close her eyes and ball her fists at her sides. Anger, sadness,
and lots of other emotions show through the creases around her eyes and mouth. "Last I heard, they
placed him in Austria."

Ron nods his head. Neither of them says anything for a while until Ginny pushes off the wall next
to him, and waves her wand, unsealing the door.

"Come on, we will be late for the meeting."

He follows her down the stairs, both of them avoiding the two broken ones that he had fallen
through a couple of weeks ago. Crookshanks is sleeping half hanging off of the banister, And Ron
is tempted to nudge the four-legged beast off balance.

"Don't, Ron. Unless you want him to scratch your face up again."

They go down the long hallway that had been made using expansion charms, and they can hear the
noises of the other Order members traveling down the hall.

Neville is waiting for them by the door. "Good timing. Everyone just got here. Ron, you okay?
You look ghastly."

Well, Neville, I just watched my best friend's skin be cursed off her body by a bloody bloke I once
shared my quill with, so yeah, ghastly is exactly how I should be looking about now.

"Never fucking better."

Neville cowers at his response and hands him Hermione's large beaded bag that Ron slings over his
shoulder before entering the meeting room.

It used to be a dining room, and it still had its original table and Merlin awful chairs that made you
sink so far into them that it was a struggle to get up. And it seemed no matter how many times
they cast scourgify's, they always let out a gust of dust into the air as soon as you sat.

Kingsley is sitting at the head of the table with the other members of The Order.

"...We have to let the Order members know about this new curse. If they have run-ins with any
Death Eater, they should know to place shielding charms as main priority..."

"...Did the memory show how to end the curse?"

"...What potions do we have to stop the damage or heal it?"

"...We need to focus on areas where we know the Death Eater forces plan to move soon but are not
yet solidified. We can save more people that way. If we keep focusing on the areas being
exterminated, we will never be able to get the upper hand."

Ron and Ginny take their seats at the end of the table along with Neville.

"We need to talk about what Ms. Granger coded, sir."

Ron's eyes rise from his hands at his father's voice. This was the information he came to these
meetings to learn about. Even though he had watched every bloody second of those haunting
memories, he had no idea how to read what his father called 'morse code.'

"Yes. Arthur, I agree."

Kingsley takes a stack of paper from his father and reads over it once more before speaking to the
group.

"During this last memory sent to us, Ms. Granger once again informed us of You Know Who's ill
seeming state. She explains how it seems to be getting worse. She also informs us that their spy
units have bases in the following areas."

He hands copies of the papers in his hands to the others at the table.

"But the most compelling information she gave us is that she claims both Theodore Nott Jr. and
Draco Malfoy are helping her."

Ron's eyes shoot up to the man at the end of the table as some people gasp and others start
shouting.

Trap. Trap. Trap. Trap!

"They know what she is doing. It's a trap!" He stands up, making his horrible chair squeak across
the floor as he bangs his fists onto the table in front of him, trying to get the attention he needs in
whatever way possible. "There is no bloody way that is true! They figured out what she is doing,
and now they are using her in that way as well. Any information coming from her is now
compromised."

They all had to agree with him, right? Most of them had seen what the two men had done to her in
the last two memories. The day they were helping her was as believable as the day he got the Dark
Mark himself.

"We have to get her out. She isn't helping The Order at all by being there anymore. We know she is
being kept at either Nott Manor or Malfoy…"

"Mr. Weasley, sit down."

"Oh fuck off, Kingsley! I'll stand if I bloody well want to."

"Language, Ronald Weasley!" His mother yells as he sees the rest of his family look down in
embarrassment at his outburst.
Fine. Be ashamed. I'm used to it. Everyone is ashamed of Ronald Weasley. The biggest waste of
space, if there ever was one. Never fucking enough for anyone.

He feels his sister's nails digging into his arm as she successfully and brutally pulls him back into
his seat and rolls another calming potion at him. He catches it and swallows, smashing the glass on
the floor for no other reason at all except to prove he did have some power.

"Now, I believe we can all agree that this information is quite confusing and brings much
speculation to the validity of Ms. Granger's information."

"What did she exactly code?" His sister pipes up next to him as he tries to focus through
Hermione's screaming taking over his mind with his anger.

His father pulls out a piece of parchment from a folder and coughs to clear his throat, looking as
uncomfortable as anyone ever could.

"She states: Malfoy, Nott helping, trust them, use them. And that is it."

Minerva sits forward. "Could there be any chance she is correct? Narcissa did lie about Harry
during the last battle, and Draco was also found not attacking every time when he could have…"

"He also hexed her teeth, called her a Mudblood dozens of times, laughed about her getting
possibly assaulted, watched her be tortured, and now is bloody torturing her, killed Luna…"

He is about to go on when his mother hex's his mouth shut, glaring at him.

"I think what has happened is what we have feared for quite some time, Kingsley. The girl's mind
is gone."

Ron turns his glare to Aberforth. The largest bloody stick in the mud he has ever met.

The room is silent for a while, and Ron hears Minerva crying before she speaks.

"She was truly the Brightest Witch of Our Age to hold out as long as she did."

Ron slams his fists on the table at her words. At words that sounded like Hermione was already
gone. That she was already dead because she had stopped being useful to The Order. That her
worth lay in her ability to be used by them.

She is worth more than the lot of you.

He sat in meeting after meeting these last eight months listening to them discuss her life like a
bargaining chip. Like she was an object and not even an important one.

Saving her was not a priority. They had indulged by letting him inquire and search for her the first
two months, even though they knew exactly what was happening to her.

Then once some of the truth came out, they allowed him to search for the red brick house with a
grey porch where she coded she was being held. There were a lot of red brick houses in Europe. It
was a fool's mission. One given to him to occupy his time and to make sure he wasn't a bother.
"So, what? We are going to leave her to be tortured to death?"

Sometimes, I do like you, Ginny.

"What would you advise us to do, Ms. Weasley? Use precious forces that are saving people's lives
across the globe, or have them come back and try to save the life of one girl who is already gone?
Putting them directly in the line of Death Eaters?"

"If she is gone, it is because we let them have her! We knew she was either at Nott or Malfoy
Manor for two months. We could have…"

"Could have what? Risked everything so many people have given and died for to rescue one
person? To give up the greater cause for her? Is that what you would have us do?"

Ron sees that even though he is hexed, the question is directed at him.

"We saw how it went last time with what happened in France. Do you want a repeat?"

What a bloody low blow.

Ron closes his eyes, trying to forget the 20 Muggles and Muggle-born wizards brutally murdered
by Death Eaters in front of a large crowd as punishment for his mistake in France.

The building was red-bricked, but it didn't have a porch. But Pansy's father was there, and he had
seen Dolohov through one of the windows one time, so he took the chance. He let his hope
outweigh his rationality like always and acted rashly, as Hermione would say.

He, Neville, and Ginny entered the completely unwarded home, which should have been his first
sign to halt. Anywhere they were keeping her would be warded. But he didn't. He needed one of
them back. He needed one of his best friends again.

At least he was smart enough to take a page from the Death Eater handbook and wear masks hiding
their identities.

When they entered the building to find nothing but a large cauldron, stacks on stacks of books, and
herbal ingredients, they tried to retreat, but Parkinson attacked, calling for backup.

The three of them had held him off until he cast the Killing Curse at Ginny. Neville had sent some
type of spell to the ceiling that made it fall on top of Parkinson.

Apparently killing him. Neville was pretty shaken up about it. Ron noticed he was taking calming
potions daily as well ever since Luna was killed, but now it seemed like he took them constantly.

"All of us are heartbroken over the loss of Hermione Granger, Mr. Weasley. It was not a decision
easily made, but with our lack of resources, every decision is life or death."
No way this is it. No way is this how it all ends. No way am I alone now. NO way I broke my
promise. No way is she alone. Alone to...

Ron closes his eyes to stop the tears that have started to form, but as he hears his mother and others
begin to sob, he can't help but start as well.

I love her. I love her. And I have to say goodbye to her before she is even gone.

"Now, moving on. Bill, have you heard from anyone in America or from the…"

Wait. That's it?! That's fucking it? They are going to give her three minutes during a meeting and
then move on?

None of you would be sitting here if it wasn't for the three of us. And you all bloody treat me and
her like this?! Harry isn't the only one that fucking matters!

He can't take it.

He pushes his chair back and gets up, storming out of the room.

This is not what we fought for. This is not what was supposed to happen.

He runs down the hall and opens the door to his windowless closet of a room, and shuts it behind
him. He pulls his wand out of his pocket and casts a spell to undo the hex on his mouth.

And he starts screaming.

Trying to scream louder than her screams, still bloody echoing inside his head. Trying to scream
louder to drown out the images of Dolohov bending her over and using her, of Nott cracking the
bones in her fingers, of Malfoy standing above her coldly as her skin is eaten away.

Trying to remember the girl who rudely told him how to do the Wingardium Leviosa spell first
year. Who had worn the sweater marking her as one of the dreaded Weasley gang proudly. Who
would chew on her nails until they would bleed until 4th year when she fixed her teeth. Who did
his homework while he made her laugh. Who saved his arse many times. Who once gave him a
shiner from throwing a damn snowball at his face. Who was supposed to change the world. Who
was supposed to end up with him.

But all that was gone now. All that was taken away by the present reality.

His voice cracks as his throat dries out. He finds he can't scream anymore, even though he tries,
and falls to the floor of his room. He pulls her bag off of his shoulder. It doesn't smell like her
anymore.

The scent of something flowery she always smelled like left the strap around the third month.

He opens the flap and pushes into the front pockets, pulling out the flask. He tilts it up to his mouth
and finishes the contents in one large gulp. He would need to bargain for some more and soon.

He pulls one of her sweaters out and breathes it in. It doesn't smell like her anymore either. He digs
deeper and throws her muggle shoes out of the way, and finds the blue knit hat.

This still smells like her.

He drops back onto his cot and curls up, pressing the scratchy material into his face, breathing her
in and trying to drown out the noises of her slowly dying out of his mind.

……

"Mate, wake up."

"Bloody hell!"

Ron gasps and sucks something into his mouth. He starts coughing like damn Crookshanks with a
furball as he sits up to find a slew of people crammed into his room. Dean, Lee Jordan, the Patil
twins, Neville, and Ginny are either standing or sitting looking at him. He feels his face is damp.
He must have been crying in his sleep again and starts wiping them away with something he is
holding in his hands. He freezes when he realizes it is Hermione's hat, and his stomach drops.

It's going to end up smelling like you again, you blimey idiot.

He places it carefully into the front pocket of her bag and sits up at the motley crew in front of him.
He can tell most of them have been crying too.

"We are so sorry, mate. Neville told us."

Ron nods his head and pushes his hair back out of his eyes, and scratches at the stubble on his chin
and cheek.

"Has anyone reached out to let Harry know?"

Ron feels his stomach drop again at Dean's words.

"No, I will later."

They all sit in silence for a couple of minutes.

"This all doesn't feel right. Out of all of us, I always thought she would make it. What chance do
we have without her?"
None. Zero.

Ron feels his indignation rising at his own thoughts. He had made it this far, hadn't he? He had
suffered through the last eight months without bloody either of them, and he was still breathing.

Breathing, not living.

You need them to be living.

You are nothing without them.

"We can still win this damn war for them. That's what we can do."

He had no idea how, but he knew he was not giving up without first giving it his all.

"Well, coming up with a plan will have to wait." Ginny rises from the floor and places her hands on
her hips.

He sneers up at his younger sister, who had more power to control a room than he seemed to. He
didn't know why he didn't have that sway over people. That he didn't inspire them or move them to
act. He wanted to. He wanted people to turn their heads when he spoke. He wanted to get attention
without making a scene to get it.

"Kingsley has placed us back in the field. Apparently, the fear of losing more of us younger
members has been cast aside."

Ron feels the bile form in his throat as he thinks about Cho, Luna, and Percy. The younger people
were pulled back again after Percy was captured and subsequently, killed. His parents were getting
sick of losing their children, and he was getting sick of losing siblings.

"Ron, you and I are heading out soon to the outskirts of Denmark, where a connection will be
setting us up to create a new safehouse port between the two larger cities. They believe these areas
will be targeted in the next wave of genocide You Know Who has in place."

Ron simply nods his head. He doesn't have the energy at the moment to do anything else. He feels
defeated. He feels dead. He doesn't fit in with this new reality created a few hours ago.

You always said you wanted to find out who you were without them overshadowing you at every
chance.

Yeah, that was some young and immature bloke who didn't know how good he fucking had it.

"The rest of you, I believe, have assignments down in the office. When we get back, we will hold a
meeting of our own to try and figure out what to do next."
 He watches as the other teenagers all nod and rise to leave the room. When it's just him and his
sister, she slumps down on the bed next to him.

"It sucks, doesn't it."

"What does?"

"Losing the people you love, but still having them be alive."

They sit together, staring at the cracked and stained wall. He knew his sister understood. She could
probably put words to everything way better than he could. He wasn't really good with emotions
and figuring out how to put words to what exactly he was feeling. As Hermione told him, he had
the emotional range of a teaspoon.

"She will die never knowing Gin, and I promised... She will die not remembering our last moment
together."

He sees her nod her head as she places her hand in his and squeezes.

"I'm sorry for that, but I had to. You know that, right?"

"I know. I am not mad at you. I just… I just wish she knew. I wish she would at least have that."

He hears Ginny sniffle, knowing how she was probably blaming herself, being the one to obliviate
her. She raises up and shakes her head before picking up Hermione's bag and tossing it at him.

"You have 20 minutes before we need to go. And leave that here."

"Not happening, Gin. If I go, she goes. I am not separating from her again."

Ginny rolls her eyes at him, and he feels a pang straight to the heart as he catches a glimpse of a
brunette who always did that to him as well. He had never appreciated those moments with her
before. He hated how condescending it seemed to him at the time. But what he wouldn't do to see
her do it again.

"Oh, and wear your robes. They said it is freezing there right now."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Alcohol addiction depictions. Rape is discussed.

 Theo

"It is freezing. Can we cast warming charms?" Theo asks as his teeth grind together.

The blonde walking beside him nods. Theo waves his wand and says the spell, feeling the
temporary warmth cover his body.

"I wouldn't need a fucking warming charm if Frosty here wouldn't have stolen my girlfriend. Why
did she need to stay with the Golden Girl? I thought you and her worked things out, Nott?"

They walk, following the tree line of an open field. A small building that looks like a storage
facility comes into view up ahead. The place is dark, looking abandoned.

"We did," Theo says.

"Then why couldn't they come like last time? We all know you and Granger were just getting
started when the lead came in, and…"

"Blaise, shut the fuck up. Now."

The warming charm does nothing to stop the icy chill that takes over Theo's body at the sound of
Draco's voice.

He hated when he occluded so deep that it made his face and voice change. It also scared the living
shit out of him that Draco was worried. Usually, when he was worried, they should all be worried.

The man walking slightly behind them grunts but doesn't respond. Draco makes a sharp left and
starts into the thick woods as they get closer to the building.

Theo is trying to be positive. He has to be to stop himself from being overtaken with panic as they
walk closer to where they would be making the base for the night.

They have done this before. They have been on real leads that resulted in nothing many more times
than accurate ones. What are the odds that their first real lead in months ends up being a live one?

The odds have never played in your favor, Theo boy…

They round a bend, and Draco stops. "We'll set up here. It gives us the best view. Nott, come with
me to set up the perimeter."

Theo nods and drops his bag next to Draco's before following him. The two men raise their wands
and start casting a detection spell to encase the building and grounds around it. If anyone moved,
apparated, or walked into the space, they would know.

"So… she kissed you."

Theo watches as his friend's wand waivers for a moment.

Come on, Draco… Take some of those walls down.

"Yes, she did."

"In front of me. That's a big deal, isn't it?"

They both jump as a bird caws above them, landing on the chimney of the building, watching them
maneuver through the woods around the field.

Draco lowers the wand he is pointing at the bird and huffs as he runs his hand over his face. "I
wouldn't read too much into that. But we are together."

Theo looks over at the blonde. "Together? Like together, together?!"

He makes a gesture with his fingers that he knows Draco understands and watches as a smirk forms
on his face.

"Yes. We had sex, Nott. And she agreed to be exclusive. Pan's little stunt worked in my favor."

No shit!

Theo stumbles over a root and almost launches his wand across the shadowy forest at the news.
"Wait, so you guys are dati...?"

The word feels weird leaving his mouth, and he can see that the almost word has the same
impression on his friend next to him.

It was weird to talk about such concepts like dating, boyfriends, girlfriends etc., when the world
was falling apart. Were those things even possible in the world they were currently living in? The
labels seemed very unimportant when one looked at the scope of things taking place. Those were
words with no meaning right now. They felt misplaced, and wrong, and small. Much smaller than
what he knew this must mean for Draco.

"Uhm… we are together, let's just say. She's mine. I don't think it has hit her yet, what she agreed
to exactly last night, so don't say shit, Nott."

Theo nods his head, and they start walking back to where he can see Zabini struggling to unfold
the map of the lead.

"Well, mate, I have no fucking clue how you pulled it off, but I am happy for the both of you. You
better still share her with the rest of us and not hoard her away."

Draco scoffs as they finish the detection spells and places his wand into his pocket. "I'll share her
mind, but her body is all mine."

"You see that group of freckles on her…"

"Nott, if you think there is a world that exists where I will sit and discuss the little secrets of my
girl's body, you are fucking mad. So shut the hell up."
Theo laughs, loving seeing Draco's anger much more than his occluded coldness.

They walk up to Blaise, who ripped the map and hands it to Theo as he rolls his eyes and fixes the
tearing before handing it to Draco.

They all sit down and look through the paperwork and raid plans. He notices that Draco is
concentrating much more than he usually does. It must be different, knowing this could possibly be
another Lovegood situation for him.

Theo's stomach turns at the memory. Having to watch his brother kill someone to protect his
cowardice arse was one of the lowest moments of his life. He owed him. He owed him a ton.

He pulls out his pack of cigarettes and hands one to Draco and Blaise. They all light, and Theo
watches their smoke hit and travel against the disillusionment charm wrapped around them.

It had been a while since the three were on a lead together. Actually, now that he is thinking about
it, the last time was right before he found Hermione. How was that only two months ago? It felt
almost like a different life. Kind of how he always felt when he thought about when he had turned
15 and finally could protect himself from his father.

Theo grabs his bags and pulls out a couple of the most promising books the Slytherins brought.

"So, why do you guys need those books? Because they are some dark shit. Like, spells hiding their
existence in my library dark."

Theo flicks his cigarette out in front of him, looking to the blonde for permission on what to relay.

He responds instead. "You said a while ago that you would help get her out if I needed. This is
helping."

"They did dark shit like that to her? I skimmed through a couple during the worst dinner
experience I have ever had. It's all about dark blood magic. How in the wizarding world can the
fucking Golden Girl cooperate with that? It should have killed her."

At his words, Draco smirks and leans back, grabbing one of the books from his bag and opening it.

"She is full of surprises, Zabini."

Ew. Gross.

Blaise grins and gestures toward Theo. "So, her and Nott didn't shag, huh? I guess I owe Pans 100
galleons."

Theo coughs on the inhale like he was bloody 12 years old again, taking his first drag. Why did
everyone think they shagged? Was it not normal for blokes and girls to be just friends?

Hermione seemed to have a lot of admirable friendships with blokes. She and Harry had a pretty
good friendship from what he witnessed in the library. He was always kind and considerate, and
was there for her the few times he had seen her crying, usually about Ron, from what he could
gather. And she was friends with that Longbottom kid. And Seamus and his boyfriend, whatever
his name was. Maybe they all wanted to fuck her?
He personally had no desire to ever shag the girl. Never even used her in his fantasies. She always
seemed off-limits in that way, not just because he knew his brother was head over heels for the
witch, but because it felt… wrong. When he looked at her, he had never seen her as a girl per se; he
saw Hermione. That feeling had only grown over the last two months as he learned who she was
and what being her friend felt like.

"Shit Zabini, you almost made me inhale my stick! I have never, and will never, want Hermione in
that way. Can't two people of the opposite sex be just friends, for fuck's sake?"

"No." Both of the males respond simultaneously, and Theo rolls his eyes.

"Well, maybe not for you two who only think with your dicks, but we who do more of our thinking
with our other head are quite capable of separating connection and sex."

The snakes stare at him for a moment before laughing hysterically, and Theo feels his ears start to
burn.

"So you are telling me, you saw and felt her perfect naked body, and didn't wank to her?"

Theo jerks his head towards Draco. He was trying to put him in a trap that he thought he knew the
answer to already.

She chose you already, Draco. Calm the fuck down.

"Wait, you actually saw her naked? Nott, how did that happen?" Blaise asks, surprised.

"It was an accident! I had no desire whatsoever to see any of that! And no, you prick, I did not, and
have never wanked to your girl, so you can stop with this possessiveness already, alright?"

Draco puts out his cigarette on the bottom of his shoe and waves his hand to get rid of it.

"Can't say the same, Frosty."

Draco sneers. "And that is why I like Theo more, Blaise."

The man beside him let's out an amused chuckle. "Don't worry, it has been a long time, but if you
and she are up for group activities, Pans and I already…"

Theo feels his wand start to vibrate as he watches Draco feel the same.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!

All three snakes look up and watch the building for any signs of life, feeling the alarm continuing
to go off. Theo hears and sees nothing as the minutes pass by. Maybe it isn't minutes, maybe it is
seconds, maybe it is hours. He really doesn't know. As soon as that wand started vibrating, time
stopped mattering.

"Maybe it's just an animal." Theo throws out there.

"You didn't ward against animals?"

Theo shakes his head. They honestly hadn't warded animals off of their lead sights for a long time.
Draco hadn't reminded them since the bastard knew the leads were duds and was canceling Theo's
detection spells since they weren't necessary.

"Then that's probably what it is." Draco does not sound convinced as the words leave his mouth.
He watches his friend hesitate for a moment before rising. "Nott, let's go do a sweep and set up
those wards. Zabini, watch our backs."

Blaise sits forward and becomes serious as he and Draco walk away.

"Do you really think it…"

"It could be. No talking. Wand out, Nott."

Theo pulls out his wand and starts buttoning his robes as a breeze cuts through his clothing,
making him inhale harshly. Draco keeps his eyes on the building and field as they move closer to
the tree line, watching for any signs of life.

Theo is hoping to see some movement in the brush or hear some bark or growl that would indicate
their worst nightmare is not happening again.

They make their way behind the building where the forest line is closest to the structure. The
blueprints had shown a…

Theo stops breathing.

The back door is open.

The back door to the building that was supposed to be abandoned, is open.

It wasn't open earlier.

Shit.

“Nott, go tell Blaise now.” Draco whispers as he creeps forward.

Theo keeps staring at the open door.

"Nott, go now." Draco bites out.

He shakes his head and turns back into the woods, following the path they had taken before,
slower than he probably should.

It's happening again.

It's happening again.

Would it be someone they knew like last time? Would Draco have to kill someone else? How
many people were they about to send to their deaths?

Theo feels that weight begin to press against his chest, and he doubles over, holding himself up
against a tree as his vision starts to go.

You're fine, Theo. You're fi… No, you are not fucking fine!

He tries to take a deep breath in, beginning to count, but his body doesn't let him. He tries to keep
walking but instead, his knees buckle, and he falls to the dirt.

Like father like son.

Like father like son.

Like father like…

"Nott, get back here!"

The sound of Draco's cracking voice makes him gulp in a large breath.

Why was Draco calling him back? That wasn't a part of the procedure if they had an accurate lead.

"Nott, right fucking now!"

He gasps again and shakes his head vigorously as he stands, stumbling back towards where he left
Draco. But he isn't there. Theo looks up to see a light coming from the back door and sees a
shadow that looks very much like the tall blonde cast across the wall.

What the hell is he doing?

Theo tentatively walks into the open field with his wand at the ready. He gets to the building and
presses his body up against the wall, moving to the closest window to look inside. Theo swallows
once and turns...

What. The. Fuck.

Theo launches for the open back door and shuts it behind him as he runs into the room. He halts
and takes in the scene as fear builds in his entire body.

Shit, Shit! SHIT! SHIT!

"Draco… what the fuck did you do?"

The blonde's hands are shaking as he looks down at the closest body to him, giving it a good kick
in the side before looking back at Theo with a face of fury, and confusion, and utter disparity.
"They are still alive."

Theo gapes. "They better fucking be! You know Hermione would never forgive you if…"

"I should kill them."

Theo feels his mouth drop as he watches the blonde look back down at the man and woman on the
floor. "Draco, stop. I know you hate the git, but you honestly couldn't kill…"

Draco gives the male body another kick, this time between the legs. "Yes, Nott. I fucking could."

Theo finally moves forward and grabs his brother by the arm, putting distance between him and
the unconscious bloke.

"Mate, stop! Stop this!"

He slams Draco up against the wall and presses into him, making his own body start to shake at the
contact. But he doesn't stop because the look in Draco's eyes is not one he likes to see. It is the look
that always got him in the most trouble. It is a look of a man with no morals or sensibility. A look
of one objective only.

“It’s Ronald and Ginevra, Draco! We can't kill them!"

He watches something flash in his brother's eyes before he blinks, and he shakes his head slightly.

He feels Draco's body start to tremble as much as Theo's is, and both let go of each other. Draco
falls to the ground holding his head in his hands, and Theo sits down in the chair closest to him,
trying to get control over his own racing heart.

"Then what do we do, Theo?"

He honestly doesn't have the slightest idea. What could they do?

"I… I don't know. Shit, just… let's take a moment to think of our real options here. Because you
know bloody well killing them is not one of them. Hermione would never forgive you if you did,
Draco."

His brother nods his head in his hands and lets out a frustrated growl. "Do you think she will
forgive me for handing them over to the Dark Lord? Because that is the only other fucking choice
we have, Nott!"

"Don't yell at me, Draco! I know how shitty the choices are! I get it!"

A feminine groan from behind them has Theo choking as Ginevra stirs. Draco casts another spell,
and the girl stops moving.

"They are the only ones here?" Theo asks as he watches the woman's chest rise up and down.

"Yes."
Well, that was good news. At least they only had two people to deal with. Theo looks up and sees
Draco sneering at the male on the ground, gripping his wand so tightly his knuckles are turning
purple.

"We could let them go."

The blonde shakes his head, never taking his eyes off of Ron. "They saw me. We can't let them
go."

They sit in silence for a few moments as Theo tasks his brain for an option that doesn't involve
their immediate deaths. He looks back at the bodies.

They both look pretty similar to the last time he had seen them at the Battle of Hogwarts. Ginevra's
face has aged some, showing more lines around her eyes than it used to. And Ron's hair is as long
as Theo's used to be, and he has a decent beard beginning. Theo notices the bag strung across the
redhead's shoulder.

That's Hermione's old bag.

He hears his brother start laughing maniacally behind him, and the noise sends a shiver up his
spine.

"The fates fucking hate me," Draco whispers.

Theo turns his attention back to the blonde as he rises off the floor with an expression of anger
written throughout his body language. Theo takes a gulp. The man is dangerous right now. He has
to be careful.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because the fucking solution is worse than killing them."

The bile forms in his throat at all the possibilities he has learned that are much worse than death.
"And what would that be?"

"We take them."

Theo stands up as his eyes widen. "We what?!"

Draco pulls at his hair and punches the wall behind him, leaning against it as blood starts to trickle
down the side of his fist.

He doesn't respond for a while. Theo watches his shoulders rise harshly as he stares at the wall,
trying to get some control over his emotions right now.

"It takes care of two birds with one bludger." He still is facing the wall as he says it. Theo isn't
following. He has no idea how taking them would help, or even what Draco really meant by that.
"We take them back still knocked out. We wake them and let Granger deal with explaining
everything. I occlude all this fucking shit for the memory exchange. Which would take care of this
disaster. And…"

He hears Draco's voice crack as he speaks.

"And it would also take care of finding a connection to The Order to get her out."

Holy fucking shit. That could work.

They had both been looking for some kind of information or connection to The Order to use to help
get Hermione back to them. But neither had any luck. It was like the whole group had just
disappeared. Even sightings were few and far between, and rather than the freak attack that had
killed Pan's father, there had been no retaliation, no large moves or battles for Draco or him to run
into anyone that could help them get her back to where she belonged.

At the beginning, it was to get her out and set up a situation that would leave Theo in the clear as
much as possible. Draco didn't care enough to set up a plan for himself that could save his life after
she was gone.

But then Hermione was in front of both of them, and caring for them, and building relationships
with them, and now he knew she would never leave without them.

Not unless two people such as Ron and Ginevra made her. They were probably the only two who
could do it. And if they let them live, they could take them to Hermione, and they could take her
with them. No one would ever know. No one would ever guess that two of the most wanted
witches and wizards in the world were hiding out in his 11 rooms on enemy territory. And their
wards had proven to withstand an attack already. Plus, with the additional precautions Hermione
added since getting her magic back, it was one of the best places for them to be taken.

"You're fucking brilliant, Draco."

He hears him let out another humorless laugh as he turns and meets his eyes.

"Oh yes, can't wait to reunite Granger with the bastard she has been obsessing over for years. Like
you said, absolutely fucking brilliant."

Shit. Yeah, he is right.

He jumps as he hears that damn bird caw again. They need to stop standing around and talking.
Blaise was probably getting suspicious.

"Okay, well, like you said, it is our only option. And I can live with myself too. So win, win." He
places his wand in his pocket and walks between the two bodies on the floor. "I will disapparate
back to the property line of the manor with them, and you meet us there after the mission is over. I
will keep them knocked out until you get there. And I won't say a word to Hermione until you get
back."

Draco nods his head, turning his attention once again to the redhead on the floor.

"She chose me."

Theo hears him whisper as he looks over the ginger's face. Theo kneels down next to both of them
and places his hands on their shoulders, grabbing their robes firmly.

They don't have time for this. Theo knows he should probably talk to his brother about what he just
said, but now was not the time or place. They have to get moving if this is going to work.

"Okay, I'll wait for you to the right of the front entryway path, behind that large rock we carved
curse words in when we were 11."

"Okay."

Theo looks up and sees Draco making no sign of moving. He knows what is consuming him. He
knows he is worried that with Ron back in the picture, he would be pushed to the side. That his
time with her was up. That she would choose Ron now that she had the ability. And Theo really
couldn't think of any words of encouragement for the man at the moment.

"Draco, you need to head back to Blaise now. I will see you in a few hours."

With those words, Theo wraps the materials of their robes tighter in his hands and disapparates
back to his home.

They hit the ground a lot harder than expected. Theo had never apparated with two other people in
tow, especially unconscious people. Ron's body is half hanging off a bush, and Ginevra lies flat on
her face. Theo moves to roll her over first and then pulls Ron down out of the rose bush, causing a
couple scratches on his face that start bleeding. He pulls out his wand, places a disillusionment
around them, and leans back against the large rock, trying to breathe.

It would be at least six more hours before Draco could come back. He turns his head and looks at
the manor.

How is this all going to go down?

He sees many different things happening, but no scenario was without the redhead and blonde
making some sort of physical front against the other. He would need to talk to Draco before taking
them to Hermione. A scene like that was the last thing she would need, and he wanted Draco to
come out of it looking like the bigger man.

Yeah, the redhead and Hermione had history, and friendship, and blah blah blah, but he was a
bigger supporter of the fiery, lively, horrible at putting up silencing charms couple. Even if half of
the couple didn't know they were together yet.

Theo closes his eyes and works on occluding all the night's events. It took him a lot longer than
Draco. When he had first agreed to teach him, Theo was worried he wouldn't be able to, but
apparently his high stress and completely horrific childhood made his mind the perfect
compartmentalizing machine.

While learning about healing to best prepare himself for anything his father would do to him, he
learned how many mind healers were against the use of occlumency due to the unhealthy effects it
had on the patients. They argued that it was an unhealthy coping mechanism that had one store all
the distress in the body instead of doing the hard work of processing through the trauma or events.

They couldn't fathom a good reason to teach young children how to do something so detrimental to
their health, hence why the skill was not taught at Hogwarts. Theo had laughed as he read the
pages like they were the funniest things he had read in his entire life. Of course, there were no
'good' reasons for learning the skill, but plenty of 'bad' reasons forced it to be necessary.

Like trying to survive a fucking sociopathic dark wizard. Like growing up as a human punching
bag. Like protecting the ones you care about from being used against you. Like sorting through all
the horrific memories of being abused at a pace that lets the body breathe.

Theo feels the numb sort of calm wash over his body as he occludes deeper and deeper.

A gust of wind blows that sends a shiver into his veins, and he opens his eyes to the siblings lying
in front of him.

Ginevra is wearing a discolored robe that looks much too large for her. Yeah, it is thick, but it
seems too old and shabby to still be wearing. She needs a new one. She also has a large yarn scarf
wrapped around her neck that looks handmade.

I wonder if she knits?

She doesn't look like the knitting type. Even now unconscious, she still looks intimidating. Like
she is waiting to be woken up just to pounce and destroy the person in front of her.

Well… this is going to be fucking awkward Ginevra… Guess no more wanking off to you, and you
were one of my favorites too.

But where is Harry Potter? If his best mate and girlfriend are here, why isn't he?

The last time Draco mentioned anything about the bloke, he was spotted in Amsterdam, but that
was over a month ago.

Theo pulls out one of the books from his bag and tries to concentrate on anything rather than the
creepy scene in front of him.

What did I do today? Oh, just hid behind a rock with two unconscious bodies lying in front of me
and read up on dark blood magic rituals. You know, the norm. How about you?

He opens up the book but stops as he pulls out the quill. Did he even need to be doing this
anymore? Now that they found a connection to The Order, she wouldn't have to endure another
spectacle or the Dark Lord hopefully ever again. The thought makes Theo smile, but it falters as he
realizes that Hermione will probably be leaving them today.
Shit… well, that blows.

He doesn't know what excuse Draco has in place for losing her to The Order. He probably doesn't
even have a plan if Theo is being honest with himself. But they did have close to a month before
they would need to provide an answer at the next spectacle. Maybe they could come up with
something before then.

Draco warned him months ago that if he wanted to keep pestering to help, it could mean he would
die. At the time, he agreed because Draco was the only person he had in his life, and Theo didn't
want to lose him to this personal mission that he wasn't a part of. Then he met Hermione and it
became personal for him too.

But he knows no matter how many times Hermione has stated it, they would not be going with her.
They couldn't. He knew that, and so did Draco. Not with this damn mark on their arms.

He decides to read through the books anyway since he doesn't really have anything better to do at
the moment. And who knows what would come in handy in his now guaranteed short future.

Theo hears a pop from behind and turns, raising his wand to see Draco walking toward him. He
drops the disillusionment spell around them and stands in surprise.

"What the hell are you doing here? There is no way…"

"Talked to Carrow Cunt and agreed to fuck her an extra time this month in exchange for re-
recruiting the lead to Flint due to problems with Granger's cooperation taking place."

Theo blinks as the blonde levitates the siblings and starts walking to the front of the manor.

"You run up and have Parkinson leave. Don't say anything until I get up there with them."

Draco reaches forward, takes Hermione's bag off Ron's shoulder extremely roughly, and slings it
over his own, letting it hang next to his scout bag.

"Okay, are you ready for this?"

"Fuck no. I am still heavily debating killing him, and if we don't move soon, I just might."

Theo can hear he is not joking. He turns and sprints up the path casting a detection spell to find no
one in the manor, and runs up the steps to his rooms. He swings the door open a little too quickly
for normal and walks into Hermione's room without thinking to knock.

He opens the door to find Pansy leaning over a bent Hermione, who is in nothing but a bunch of
little strings and lacy bits that hide very little. Pansy has a piece of the material in her mouth, trying
to pull it up while holding other bits in place.

Yeah, and there is her arse with the group of freckles again. Merlin's sake, am I cursed to only see
women I do not want to see naked bare in front of me?

"Pansy, I don't think it fits, and I don't think… Oh my gods! Theo, what the hell?"
He finally remembers he has the fantastic ability to not see this if he doesn't want to, and he shuts
his eyes. "Like last time, this is an accident! For fuck's sake, Hermione, can you just wear clothing
more often?" Theo groans as he tilts his head to the ceiling, feeling his ears getting hot.

"The door was shut, Theo! And you weren't supposed to be back until morning from the… Wait,
did something happen? Why are you back so early? Where is Malfoy?"

He can hear the panic in her voice. "Put on a robe, and then we'll talk. Pans, you need to leave.
Don't ask questions, just leave."

He hears the women shuffling in front of him.

"Not into girl-on-girl action there, Nott?"

Ugh… I really don't like you Pansy.

"Shut up and leave, Pans. Blaise is still out. Flint is working with him tonight, and I am sure he will
answer all your questions when he returns, but you need to leave now."

His voice comes out much more confident than he is used to talking at the minx of a woman. And
surprisingly, he hears the floo pop as he opens his eyes and sees Hermione tying her robe around
herself.

"What is going on, Theo?"

He runs his hand over his face and through his hair. "I'm not supposed to say anything until Draco
gets up here."

"He is here? Where is he? Why isn't…"

They both hear the front door open, and before they can move, a very pale and ill-looking Draco
Malfoy walks into the room.

Hermione runs to him and immediately starts moving her hands all over him, trying to see any
evidence of why they are back.

"What is going on? Why do you look like you did in 6th year? Why…"

The blonde grabs her face and cuts her off by kissing her hard. She doesn't fight him, but moves
and responds in kind as he fists her hair in one hand and squeezes her closer with the other.

Theo looks to the ground.

Yeah… third wheel in my own fucking house is just great.

"I need you to promise me something, Granger," Draco whispers as he pulls away a few inches and
stares into her eyes.
"Okay, what?"

"Promise me… Promise me you'll remember you chose me."

"What? Malfoy, I don't…"

"Just promise me."

Draco bends down until his forehead rests against hers. Theo sees the confusion in Hermione's eyes
as she looks at him, but she starts to nod.

"I promise."

Draco lets out the breath he was holding, taking another moment to look at her before dropping his
hands, and backing up from the door to allow the two bodies to float in.

"Oh my gods… Oh my gods. Ron, Ginny!"

The brunette runs and drops in between the bodies, touching both of their faces as tears start to
stream down her own.

She continues to sob; her eyes dart all over her friends as she takes in that this is all really
happening. Theo can see her hands shaking as she grabs Ron's hand in hers and starts rubbing it.

"What, how. I just… tell me." She says through the tears.

Theo glances up to see Draco looking like he is about to vomit as he watches her caress the
redhead's hand.

Help your mate out, Theo.

"Well, long story short, the lead was accurate. They were the only ones there, and Draco knocked
them out, and then we brought them back here to you."

She wipes away the tears dripping off her chin with her shoulder and looks up at Draco again.

"But why did you bring them here?"

"Would you have rather me killed them?" He bites out.

Fuck, you forgot to talk to him, Theo. Damn it.

Her body jerks back at his cold response. "What? No, of course not! And you wouldn't have
Malfoy you…"

He scoffs. "Granger, I promise you I…"

"Draco here came up with a plan to save their lives and yours."
Cut them off before their raging and unhindered tempers get the better of both of them, and they
say things they can't take back.

"What, how? And why are they still unconscious? Wake them up!"

Draco immediately accios her wand away as she reaches for it, grabbing it in his hands.

"Not happening quite yet, Granger. There are a few things we need to discuss first."

Her confused yet joy-filled expression quickly breaks into one of anger as she watches him take
her wand. She stands up, drops Ron's hand, and squares her shoulders at Draco.

"Malfoy, give me back my wand this instant."

"I will as soon as we all have the same understanding on what is about to happen."

The fire-filled brunette glares at him and crosses her arms over her chest. "Then start explaining
now, Malfoy."

"Theo and I have been trying to find a contact to The Order ever since you have arrived. That was
the real reason behind getting the radio, but we have had no luck up until tonight." He pauses and
looks behind her at the two bodies lying on the floor, tightening his grip on their wands. "I brought
them so they can take you back with them. So that you can escape."

Theo watches the anger melt from her face at his words, and her arms fall at her side as she takes a
few steps toward him.

"You mean so that we can all escape, right?"

"No."

Hermione gasps and looks from him to Theo, who looks back at the ground as their eyes meet. He
doesn't like keeping secrets from her.

"Why? Why can't you come with me? I told you I am not leaving without all of you! And that
includes Blaise, and Pansy, and Daphne too."

Draco rolls up his sleeve to show the tattoo. "We can't, Granger. Our marks can be tracked, and we
would just be summoned right back to him and then be killed. Plus, The Order is as safe for us as
the Death Eaters are for you."

The girl shakes her head vigorously at him.

"Well then, we find a way to kill You Know Who so you are all free. That is what we need to do.
Not send me away! And no, that's not true! I will tell them all what you have done. I will vouch for
every single one of you. We can…"

Draco moves forward and starts rubbing her upper arms as she starts to cry again. "Granger, while I
entirely agree about the importance of you and your worth. You know others will not. They made
your importance to them quite clear this past year."

Her whimpers turn into sobs as she presses her face into his chest. "They will kill you for letting
me escape."

Draco wraps his arms around her tightly and kisses the top of her head as she continues to cry. "We
have a month before the next spectacle. I am sure Nott and I will come up with something."

He tries to put a light tone on the words, but it doesn't work to console her.

"No… Fuck no. I am not leaving without you, Malfoy, or you Theo, or without the rest of the
snakes I have come to care for. We will tell them you are on our side and then help them with
figuring out how to end this fucking war once and for all. They will listen to me. I know it.
Kingsley is not the most empathetic person in the world, but he is not evil. And they…"

"How about we see how these two react to what you plan to share with The Order. I think that may
convince you that I am right."

He pulls her away and gives her a half-smile as she wipes the tears. He hands her wand back to her,
and she turns to look at her friends.

"I… I think it may be best if you two leave. So when they wake up it's…"

"Not happening, Granger, but we will give you space."

Theo moves over by his brother, and they walk to the furthest wall.

"Whatever is about to happen, Draco, be the bigger man. She doesn't need some testosterone dick-
measuring competition right now. Let him look like the twat, okay?" Theo whispers to Draco, and
he sees him nod and close his eyes, starting to occlude to prepare.

They both turn to see Hermione raising her wand at the bodies.

She lets out a loud breath and straightens her shoulders. "Okay, here we go."
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

Huge thank you to my creative team for this chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

She can't stop looking at them.

It is really them.

Ron… Ginny…

Hermione quickly shakes her head to disband the tears that are making her vision blurry, afraid that
with the intrusion, this would all be proven just a dream.

She never thought she would see them again.

She made her peace with that a long time ago when she was still Dolohov's, and if she was being
honest, she had never really gained it back since being with Malfoy and Theo.

The last 8 months felt like a divide took place in her. A kind of before and after feeling. She never
thought the before and after would ever meet again in the present. Not in the way they are now as
her two best friends lay on the floor in front of her.

The tears won't stop, though, and she closes her eyes and cracks her neck, trying to focus. To
control her breathing and occlude. To be strong for them. To be able to communicate clearly.

To be able to explain everything.

That is why her wand is still pointing down at unconscious bodies. That is why they are still not
awake.

I… I don't feel strong enough to explain everything. I don't even feel like I have a grasp on
everything quite yet.

Hermione feels genuine fear that makes her hate herself. She is beyond overjoyed to see them both,
but their presence is already making her face things she really doesn't want to.

Making her confront events and situations she is too exhausted to really focus on just yet.

They would force her, though.

"Granger, do y…"

"Just, give me a second!"

It comes out a lot harsher than she means. She is grateful for him, overwhelmingly grateful for him
and this sacrifice he was once again making for her and their cause.

"Sorry. It's, this… it's just a lot."

Neither of the males behind her responds. She turns her attention back down to the Weasleys.

Just do it, Hermione!

She waves her wand and casts the counterspell. Ginny sits up immediately and takes in a huge gulp
of air, looking for her wand Hermione is sure Malfoy had already taken.

Ron lets out a painful groan and rolls over on his side, one hand holding his ribs while the other
cups himself between his legs.

And Hermione stands there, holding her breath. Not knowing what to do, but wanting to do so
many things all at the same time.

Ginny blinks rapidly as her eyes dart around the space, not taking anything in as she begins to panic
until they shoot past Hermione, only to freeze and then turn back to her.

The two witches stare at each other for a long time before she sees a full smile take over Ginny's
face.

"Hermione!"

At her words, a tether holding her back snaps, and she is running into the female's arms, falling to
the floor.

They both start sobbing uncontrollably as they wrap around each other.

They are here. They are here, and this is real. Ginny! Ron!

Hermione's body is shaking with every sob as Ginny squeezes her tightly.

"It's you. It really is you! Hermione! Hermione!"

Hermione buries her face into the long red strands of her hair soaking with her tears. "It's me. It's
me, Ginny."

"'Mione?"

Her breath catches in her throat at the sound of his voice. Before she can turn and release Ginny,
she feels his solid and familiar hands spin her around to face him.
He is looking at her like she isn't here. His face shows the shock of seeing her in front of him, and
like she had felt earlier, he is having trouble believing it is real.

There are small scratches on his cheeks that the blood has dried on, and he has a beard. Hermione
has never seen him with a beard before. It makes him look older, more mature. More like a man
than the boy she had grown up with. She likes it. He also looks older due to the lines and bags
under his eyes that show her the last eight months have not been easy on him either.

She wonders what he is noticing about her that has changed. A lot, probably. Her body has more
curves than it used to, her skin is paler, and she also knows her face shows the stress of the time
they were apart.

His eyes are wandering all over her as well, and she becomes very aware that she has nothing on
but a very complex and see-through piece of lingerie under a robe.

Hermione is about to say something when his hands move to cup her face, and tears begin to form
in his eyes.

"This is real. You're here?" He whispers.

She smiles through her own sobs spurting from her lips as she nods her head and places her hands
on both of his arms. His thumbs and hands start moving and squeezing the skin of her face like he
needs her to prove it by his touch.

"I'm here. I'm here, Ron."

The words come out pathetically through her crying, and she sees as he breaks at the sound of her
voice; heaves and noises leave his mouth as he keeps squeezing her face.

They stare into each other's eyes, and although he looks so different, she sees they are the same.
She can see the Ron she has called her best friend for years in those blue eyes.

He pulls her into him, and she instinctively wraps her arms around him as he sobs into her shoulder.
She can't control her own emotions as she takes in all the familiar and comforting things that are
Ronald Weasley for her.

The way his clothes feel a little scratchy against her skin. The smell of the horrible shampoo he
always uses because he swore it was all a scam in the first place and 'none of it actually worked, so
why would he spend his money on it?' The feel of his strong embrace and hands that have
comforted her so many times over the years.

"I'm not letting you go again. I swear it 'Mione, never again."

He pulls her back, and she smiles at him.

She is about to tell him how much she missed him. How she heard his message over the radio.

But before she can, Ron pulls her forward and presses his lips to hers.

He kisses her.

Hard.

Wait, what?
What is happening?

Ron is kissing me!

Ron is kissing me!!!

Hermione gasps and Ron moves his hand to hold her face to his as he uses the opening she makes
with the noise to insert his tongue.

"RON!" / "Draco, no! Stop!" / "Get your fucking hands off her!"

Before she finds the capabilities to react, someone launches Ron across the room, and his mouth is
no longer on hers.

"What the fuck, Ron? She doesn't remember, you idiot!"

Hermione's hand goes up to her mouth, which is still hot from his kiss, as Ginny moves in front of
her brother and shoves him. He is holding his lips as well and looks like he is about to explode
with all he is feeling.

"Blimey 'Mione, I shouldn't… I should have…"

A loud grunt and the sound of something falling to the floor has the three of them turning to see a
raging Draco Malfoy holding out his wand towards Ron, being held back by a truly pale Theo.

"Mate, breathe. Put your wand away. Occlude, do som…"

Before he finishes, Malfoy shoves Theo off of him and starts toward Hermione. She looks up at his
sparking silver eyes as he grabs her forearms and pulls her off the ground. His steady hands make
her realize her body is convulsing.

I am freaking out. I am freaking out.

Ron, Ron just kissed me!

"Granger, Granger, look at me. Come back. You're safe; remember you're…"

"Don't touch her, you fucking psychopath!"

Malfoy turns his searing gaze towards Ron, who is matching his anger.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Weasel?! You haven't seen the woman in eight months, and the
first thing you do is assault her? I should have killed you!"

Ron scoffs. "What the hell are you talking about? You're the rapist here, not me! Now get your
hands off her!"

What is happening?
What is happening?

I… I can't stop this. I, I'm not strong enough to stop this.

The two males turn on each other as Ron starts towards Malfoy, pulling out his wand again.

"Shit! everybody, just calm down!" Theo jumps in between the two wizards hell-bent on killing
each other, holding a wand in both hands at each of them. Hermione sees Ginny look at her wand
in Theo's hand, and the anger is clear on her face. "Look what you are doing to Hermione! Just
look!"

At his words, Malfoy flinches, and turns his attention back to her. Ron is still glaring at the blonde
that walks into her personal space again.

"Get away from her! Or I swear to Merlin I will…"

Theo cuts him off. "Ronald, shut the hell up! Listen, I think we all need to take a minute to calm
down. Obviously, there are a lot of misunderstandings to work through and…"

"Misunderstandings? Is that what you call beating her to a pulp, Teddy? Or Malfuck cursing her
skin off?" All four of them turn their attention to the raging girl who had been quiet up until now.

Theo scrunches his eyebrows at her. "Teddy? Who the fuck is…"

"You have seen the memories?" Hermione stares at the Weasleys with a cold realization
consuming her. She feels naked in front of them, completely bare and vulnerable, as they avert their
eyes and deflate at her question.

The Order has received them…

They have seen what was being done to me.

They have received my messages, and…

And they still didn't come.

A part of her always told herself that no one saved her because they had no idea what was
happening to her. That they never received the memories with the hidden messages inside, which
gave them some ideas about where she was being held. That was the reason they didn't come. If
they knew what Dolohov was doing to her, and that she was at Malfoy Manor every month, they
would of course show up and save her. Of course they would. Ron and Harry would never leave
her to be used like that. Alone like that. Hurt like that. They promised.

That was the false sense of hope, and denial she lived in to help her get through each day. But as
she sees them still averting their eyes, she knows she was wrong.

Hermione feels herself losing control as the shelves topple over in her mind and the memories
combine, and collide, and attack her senses.

They had known. They all had known, and they did nothing about it. They just left her there to
be…

She takes a step back from all of them."Why… Why didn't you come!? Why didn't you come for
me?! Why didn't you come for me?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?!"

She falls to the floor as her body gives out on her. Cool, strong arms wrap around her and squeeze
in just the right way as she hiccups through her shallow breaths.

"Granger, open your mouth."

She listens immediately.

"Hermione, don't take anything he gives…"

"It's a calming draught, Ronald Weasley! One I think we all bloody need to take, so here," Theo
says.

The cold liquid is poured into her mouth, and she presses her face into his chest before she even
swallows, needing his comforting and grounding minty scent.

"Say the word Granger, and I will knock them out again." He whispers it into her ear as she hears
commotion begin once more behind them. She feels the blood coursing through her body begin to
calm down, and her breathing becomes more regular, giving her the ability to think clearer.

Hermione closes her eyes, lifts the shelves, and starts placing the memories and images into their
respective areas.

She didn't have the time to take care of everything brought to the forefront of her mind, but she
could take care of some of the most haunting ones.

As she opens her eyes, she sees Ginny trying to get her wand back and Theo trying to keep her
away while also holding back Ron, who is screaming something she isn't taking in.

This is not going well at all.

Well Hermione, did you really see any version of this scenario ever being classified as going well?

"No." She pushes out of Malfoy's embrace and starts to stand as she can focus again on what needs
to be said first. She pulls out her wand and aims it at every single one of them as she speaks.

"Now everyone is going to listen to me, damn it! No interruptions," she looks at Ginny. "No
fighting," she looks at Ron. "And no prickish comments," she looks at Malfoy.

"Ha! I didn't get in trouble like the rest of…"

"And no inappropriate remarks," she looks at Theo, who snaps his mouth shut.

"Now, like Theo said, there are a lot of misunderstandings here, and I will try to answer all that I
can. But if one of you starts anything, I will incapacitate you. Do we understand?"

She gets a sneer from Malfoy, a head nod from both Ginny and Theo, and a glowering look from
Ron. "Okay, I have a few questions of my own to start. I will make them yes or no questions, so
just nod or shake your head at me, okay?"

Ginny is once again the only one that listens. Ron keeps staring at her with a look she can't place.

"Okay, so The Order has received all eight memories and has… watched them?"

Ginny nods her head, and Hermione's stomach twists.

"And I am assuming that Arthur recognized the Muggle code I was using?"

Ginny nods her head again. Hermione chose to use Morse Code because she and Arthur Weasley
had discussed the intricacies of the Muggle way of communication over one Christmas holiday.
She hoped he would recognize it.

"Muggle code? What the hell are you…"

"I said no interruptions, Malfoy!" She turns to see him glaring at her, but he doesn't say another
word. "Then you know what has been happening to me, and how that changed two months ago?"

Ginny and Ron nod their heads, and she feels bile come up her throat.

Ron has seen…. Ginny has seen… The Order has seen… Too many people have seen…

She brings her hand up to her mouth and swallows the burning liquid before she continues.

"And so, you know Theo and Malfoy have been helping me, and how they are on our side?"

Neither redhead moves, but she watches their eyes widen as they stare at her.

"Well? Yes or no?"

They both just keep looking at her like they are at a loss as to what to do.

"Really guys, it is a simple question, do you…"

"They don't believe you, Granger. That's the problem."

She reaches down for the slipper she is wearing and chucks it at the blonde next to her, hitting him
right on the nose.

"Interrupt me one more damn time, Malfoy, and next, it will be a heel."

"I am not interrupting you, Granger. I am answering the question they won't. Look at them! Look
at the way they are looking at you. Like you have lost it or can't be trusted or…"

She reaches down for her other slipper, but he grabs her wrist before she can get a hold of it.

"Ask them. Ask them if they believe you." He says it as almost a whisper and looks at her sadly as
he drops her wrist and steps back.

They believe me. Of course, they believe me, right?

She turns towards her friends, looking between the two of them with so many different emotions
that it is hard to grasp just one.

"Do… Do you believe me?"

Ron starts shaking his head uncontrollably even before the words have left her mouth, and she feels
like he has physically slapped her. Ginny gives him a good elbow to the same side he had been
holding when he first woke up.

They don't trust me. Why wouldn't they trust me?

Because they do not trust the validity of your mind, pet.

But they should I…

Should they?

Yes, I am not crazy.

You can't even convince yourself of that, pet. Good luck convincing them.

"Hermione, why should we believe they are helping you? What have they done? Because what we
have seen looked nothing like helping."

Well honestly, Ginny's concern makes sense. She always had to keep her messages short due to the
painstaking process of tapping each letter out. She knew her message would be confusing for them,
but she had hoped the accuracy of where the forces were moving would help them believe her. As
far as she knew, everything she had given them had been accurate. So why would they question her
statement about Theo and Malfoy?

Maybe watching them beat and torture you did the trick.

She closes her eyes and groans up at the ceiling. It was all so convoluted, confusing, and twisted.
She doesn't know where to begin.

"Theo, go get the counter potion."

At first, she is about to reach and throw her slipper again at the blonde who never listened to her,
but then she pauses. That was actually a great idea. They should show them. She opens her eyes
and looks back at Malfoy, giving him an appreciative smile.

"What the bloody hell is going on?"

She can hear the anger in Ron's voice before she turns back at him. "It'll be easier to show you. It
will be easier to understand if you see."
Theo walks in and tosses her one of the vials in his hand. She unscrews the top and swallows it,
bracing herself against the nearest chair as the burning overtakes her body for a few seconds.

"Absolute…"

"Shit. Yeah, I know. Brace yourself, Granger."

She wipes her mouth and turns back to Malfoy as he pulls out his wand.

Before he can say the spell, Ron launches forward, and places himself in front of her with his back
to Malfoy. "'Mione, listen to me. They aren't helping you. They are hurting you. They got you all
twisted up in the brain."

"Weasel, if you do not step back from her within the next two seconds, I will lay this curse into
your spine without any hesitation."

Ron sneers. "Yeah, you really sound like a helpful bloke there, ferret! What a fucking knight in
shining armor."

"Both of you, stop!" She grabs onto Ron's shoulders to turn him back towards her. "Ron, please just
trust me. Please."

He frowns down at her. "Hermione, you have been through a lot. It is okay to be confused."

She feels her anger bubbling to the surface at his condescending words. Like she is a child needing
to be talked down from a temper tantrum. Like she is some crazy person. "Ronald Weasley, look at
me right now."

His eyes meet hers, and she can see his sorrow in them and his horrible pity. He looks at her like he
doesn't recognize her. Like he doesn't know what to do with the woman in front of him. Like she is
a stranger.

"I'm still me, Ron. I'm… still Hermione."

Please believe me. Please stop looking at me like that. My mind is the only thing I have left. It is
the only thing that is mine.

"Believe me." She whispers.

Instead of moving, Ron stands up straighter in front of her. She can see his classic and familiar
indignation and pride take over his body language. Her heart sinks as she watches him choose not
to believe in her. Luckily, Ginny handles the issue by grabbing her brother by the forearm and
yanking him away from her.

"You know you're my least favorite brother, right?"

"Well Weaselette, something we can agree on. He is my least favorite from your family too."

Ginny glares at Malfoy as he smirks at her and twirls his wand in his hand.

"Just watch you two. Malfoy, get on with it."

He looks back at her and, without hesitation, recites his created curse. The green flash makes her
jerk slightly, followed by the press of his magic on her skin. She exhales a breath and looks down
to see the effects begin.

"You fucking bastard!"

Both Ron and Ginny begin to launch themselves at the Slytherin.

"Ron, Ginny, wait! Look, I am in no pain at all."

They both stop dead in their tracks and look back at her. Their faces are a mirror of horror as they
watch the curse's supposed effects take over her body. She smiles up at them, and for good
measure, does a few jumping jacks to show them how it isn't hurting her one bit.

"Bloody hell, how, what…"

"Always eloquent with the words, wanker. Yes, the curse does work as shown on Granger's body,
but with this…" Malfoy pulls out another vial of the counter curse potion and tosses it to Ginny. "It
counteracts the damage. Only making it look like it works. Had to come up with a way to get her
out of those damn spectacles somehow. I have the recipe and a few dozen doses you can take back
to your Disorder."

"It's The Order of…"

"I know what I said."

"And was Teddy beating her an illusion too?"

Hermione watches as Theo cowers at Ginny's question as he is brought into the drama again.

"Stop calling me that! And no, that wasn't an illusion but…"

"But it was the best option we had. I completely forgot about the spectacles You Know Who
forces me to attend when I first was saved by them, and it snuck upon us, and it was either that or
Malfoy…"

Hermione pauses as she watches Ginny swallow the vial of countercurse potion and start gagging.

"Merlin's arse, that is bad." She forces herself to stand up and squares her shoulders at Malfoy. "Hit
me, ferret."

Malfoy gives her an amused expression before casting the spell. Ginny grunts as his magic hits her,
but then stands, watching her body start to change and deteriorate.

She raises her arms in front of her, looking both amazed and disgusted.

"Fuck. I feel nothing, but I look horrible."

"Looks like an improvement to me."

She glares over at her brother, who takes a step back as she reaches out with her skinless hand.

"Oh yeah? Then come here, beloved brother of mine, and give me a hug."

She launches herself at him, and he stumbles backward over an ottoman, scooting farther away
from the red girl in front of him.
"Don't you fucking touch me, Gin!"

Ginny lets out a laugh, and peers down at her body before pulling her shirt off of her chest.
"Hermione, have you ever seen what happens to your tits with this?"

She looks down at her body to see her skin pristine, and gives Malfoy a nod of thanks.

"Uhh… No Ginny, I haven't."

"Trust me when I say it is abhorrent." The redhead puts her shirt back into place and looks up at
them. "Well, you've convinced me. So what's the plan now? And how about you bastards give me
my wand back, so I can stop looking like the birthmark on my Great Aunt Tessy's back, yeah?"

Malfoy waves his own wand, and her skin comes back as he places the charm.

"Wait, Gin, you believe them?" Ron glares at Ginny, who shrugs her shoulders, and falls into one
of the ornate chairs, looking at her surroundings.

"If Hermione says they can be trusted, then yeah, I do. Oh, come on Ron, we both know we would
be dead right now if it wasn't true. Plus apparently, Malfuck wasn't torturing her. It is the only
thing that makes sense."

Ron scoffs as he stands back up. Ginny pats the chair next to hers for her brother to sit in, which he
doesn't take.

"Fine, your loss. These chairs are fucking fantastic. Okay, my turn for the questions. First one.
Where are we?"

Theo coughs and stands straighter, forcing himself to make eye contact with the girl. "My family
manor."

Ginny looks him over slowly before nodding. "So Teddy's house, okay. And how long have you
been here, Hermione?"

"A little over two months. Dolohov captured me at the battle, and I was…" She has to pause as the
chaos of memories fly off of her shelf marked as Master again. It takes her a few moments to put
them all back into their binds, and to stop seeing the images that she fights against every day. "I
was with him for the first 5 months exclusively. Then he failed You Know Who, and I was given
to other Death Eaters to try to… motivate him."

She sees the humor playing over Ginny's face disappear at her words. And Hermione feels a lump
form in her throat before she continues.

"I was given to Theo's father, and… then Theo found me, and I wasn't in the greatest of shape."

"Yeah, that is putting it lightly, Hermione. Try minutes away from death."

She sends Theo a look but takes it back. She should be as accurate as possible when retelling this
story. For her sake and theirs. She shouldn't downplay anything the two men have done for her.

"Okay, so I was in terrible shape. But Theo and Malfoy saved me, and then…"

She looks up to Malfoy, who won't meet her eyes. She would never tell that part of this story. That
was not for her to ever tell.

"And then You Know Who gave me to Malfoy so he could try to regain my lost memory of the
battle. We have been working to figure out his real motivations for keeping me alive, which he has
shown to be more than just the one memory, and also a way to get us ALL out of this mess."

Ron and Ginny flinch as she finishes her story. She looks at both of them curiously.

"What?"

She watches as Ron gives her that damn pity look again, and then turns to his sister, who is looking
back at him in a way that makes him fold into himself.

"So why did you bring us back here, ferret? Couldn't stomach killing another former classmate?"
While Ginny may believe Hermione that they were trying to help her, that did not mean she had
convinced her that they were both decent people.

Malfoy keeps his gaze on the floor. "Fuck you, Weaselette."

"He had to Ginny. I saw the memory. It was mercy."

Ron lets out a humorless laugh as he doubles over. "Still think she hasn't cracked yet, Gin? She is
bloody standing up for the fucker again! And this time for killing our friend!"

His words hit her once more, and her eyes start to sting from the tears. Even her best friend thought
she was crazy. Someone who knew her so well. Someone who knew how much she treasured her
mind, was saying things against it. She felt like her mind was her enemy too often on her own to be
hearing those thoughts reinforced by someone so important to her.

"Shut your fucking mouth, Weasel. You have no idea what she has been through and what she has
already overco…"

"I know more than you bastard! I watched, and watched, and watched, every fucking second of
those memories. I saw her raped. I saw Nott beat the shit out of her. And I saw you throw her to the
floor, say horrible things about her, treat her like the filth you believe she is. I saw it all, Malfoy.
So whatever you two pricks have been trying to manipulate her to believe, it ends fucking now."

To her surprise, Malfoy doesn't say anything back to the fury-filled Ron walking toward her. He
doesn't pull out his wand or charge at the bloke coming either.

Ron stands in front of her, but she finds she can't look up at him after what he has just said.

I am more than the person you saw during those moments. I am more than what happened to me,
Ron.

That naked and helpless feeling isn't letting her breathe. It isn't letting her think clearly, and the
other her is starting to creep up. She can feel it, the numb acceptance that left her with no will to
fight. A feeling Hermione had never felt before the last 8 months. Ron had seen everything. He had
watched them himself, and he hadn't come. Her best friend, the person she thought was her future,
left her there. Why didn't he come?

"Why didn't you come for me?" She cracks the words out, and finally looks up to see him crying as
he reaches out and grabs the sides of her face again. She can feel her own tears silently leaving her
eyes.
"I tried Hermione. Fuck, I tried. I looked for that house everywhere, and I tried to talk them into
saving you, but they wouldn't listen to me. Nobody ever listens to me without you. Please, please
believe me. I… I tried."

She feels that numbness taking over as he talks. They don't feel enough. They don't feel like
anything, not an answer, at least.

"You have got to be shitting me? That is the reason?! You wouldn't break fucking rules to save
her?!" Draco bellows as Ron turns.

"Shut your mouth, you prick! It is a lot more complicated than that! 'Mione can, can we go
somewhere and talk, just the two of us, yeah?"

She startles at the softness in which he says the words to her. There is a desperation to his tone, and
it is a side of Ron that she always adored, but didn't get to see very often. His blue eyes are staring
at her, pleading with her.

You have always had trouble telling him no.

She nods her head, and his face breaks out in the first smile she has seen since she had first woken
them up.

"Absolutely fucking not."

She blinks at the cold and deadly tone and moves to meet silver eyes instead.

"Malfoy, it will be fine. We'll go out to the balcony for a few…."

"Why, so he can assault you again?"

Ron glares at him again. "I didn't assault her, you tosser! You have no idea what you're talking
about."

Malfoy lets out a humorless chuckle. "Ah, the go-to line for every sexual predator."

"You are the only predator here, Malfoy! Don't think I am fooled by this good guy performance for
one second. I know what you want from her. I have known for years, Malfoy."

Malfoy's eyes widen in surprise at what Ron is insinuating.

And Hermione feels like her chest is caving in.

Oh gods….

Oh gods oh gods oh gods.

Ron is here.

Ron is here now.

And I,

Malfoy and I have…

Fuck.

Nothing in her is ready to have that discussion. How was she supposed to tell him that she and
Malfoy had been intimate? Would he freak out like he did with Viktor? Probably worse. Yes, most
definitely worse. She had only kissed Viktor, she had…

Oh gods…

Nothing in her wants to deal with all this. She can't.

"Hermione, Hermione!"

She realizes she fell to the floor at some point, shaking so bad it makes the room start to spin.

Theo kneels in front of her, handing her another vial with a look of concern. "Okay, this has been
enough! She needs a break. And I think everyone needs to take a breather and get some rest. These
rooms are warded extensively, so you guys are safe here for tonight."

Hermione swallows the potion and continues to stare at the ground as so many voices, thoughts,
and images fill her head.

"Uhm… I have three bedrooms, so I guess…" Theo pauses for a few moments, and she feels the
potion calming her shaking into light tremors. "Ronald, you can have the room at the end of the
hall next to the bathroom, Hermione and Ginevra can sleep in here, and Draco and I will share my
room..."

Ginny scoffs. "Ginevra? How old are you, Teddy? Only old people call me that."

"Yeah well, no one calls me Teddy!"

"Trust me, it is better than the other nickname I have for you, nutsack Nott."

Hermione hears Theo's stunned silence at the redhead's crassness. He continues to stare at her with
his mouth hanging open until he finally blinks and turns to Malfoy.

"What happened to quiet, sensible women? Huh? Why can't we ever save their arses instead of
these crass, opinionated, scary females, Draco?"

"Those sound like boring women to me, Nott." Hermione makes to stand and feels Malfoy's cool
hand cup under her arm to help her up. "You okay?"

She nods her head.

"Yes, but Theo is right. We can talk more and sort out a plan in the morning. I… I need a break.
Ron, we can talk privately tomorrow, I promise."
He glares at her and Malfoy for a few moments before turning and walking out of the room
without saying another word.

"I will be placing some heavy wards around the bedrooms, so no trying to kill each other tonight,
okay?" Theo yells it down the hall, but Ron doesn't answer him.

A part of her is fighting to chase after him. She had done it many times before. She knew she could
talk him down and get him out of the mood he was in.

"I think I should go…" A hand on her shoulder stops her.

"Not happening, Granger. Not after the way he treated you tonight. Let the fucker go."

She nods her head, too exhausted to handle a moody Ronald Weasley honestly.

"So these are your rooms then, Teddy?"

Theo rolls his eyes and groans at the nickname she apparently was sticking with.

"Yes."

"They're pretty cool. You collect stuff, huh?" Ginny moves over to the wall to see a collection of
dead Horntoads displayed in a box.

A look of surprise crosses Theo's face. "Uhh… yeah."

"Anything specific, or just anything you find interesting?'

"Well, I have a system that I follow for procuring new items, but the items range into many
different categories."

Ginny's eyes shoot up, and she grabs a glass-looking cylinder on a bookshelf and peers through it.
"Got any quidditch stuff?"

"Uhh yes, a few pieces. Not many. I only fly when Draco forces me. And I only went to games he
made me tag along to. I don't know much about the sport."

"Cool. My father is a collector too. He had a whole room in our home dedicated to his pieces. Most
of them were muggle artifacts and other weird things he found interesting."

She places the cylinder back on the bookshelf and walks across the room into the closet like she
owns the place. Hermione can't help but grin at the firecracker of a redhead. She had missed
Ginny's self-assurance and easy laid back sense of humor.

"Can I borrow some pajamas, Hermione?"

"Sure."

She smiles at the familiarity of the situation. When she had stayed at the Burrow, which was very
often, she always slept with Ginny in her room. The two girls had formed a great friendship that
rivaled the one she had with her boyfriend and brother. Hermione freezes at the thought.

Harry…
"Ginny, where is Harry?"

There is silence for a moment before she responds.

"Last I heard in Austria, but that was a while ago."

Hermione is taken aback by the response. Ginny and Harry had been inseparable before everything
happened. She can't imagine them not working together or staying in contact daily if they had the
option and ability.

"We broke up… After the battle. Big fight. Found out we had some… major life differences. I'm
okay, though. It has been over half a year, so no need to sit and have some tear-filled girl chat or
any of that shit."

Her heart hurts as she hears about their breakup. It must have been bad if Ginny was being like
this. She knew the girl had been in love with her best friend. And seeing them together, well,
anyone who saw them believed they would end up together. She thought Harry had been in love
with the spunky ginger as well.

Maybe he had placed a lot of blame on himself for the loss at Hogwarts, and became impossible to
be around. He had done that before. Blaming himself for every loss, every mistake, every failure.
He was always too hard on himself. Maybe she could help him too. Maybe help him see that this
was not supposed to be placed all on his back. Maybe help him carry whatever was burdening him.

"I, I am so sorry to hear that, Gin. Does he and Ron…"

"Not as much as they used to. You know, assignments and missions split us up."

Ginny walks out in one of the flannel sets she had never worn and lets out a yawn.

"Okay, Teddy, ferret, time for you to get out, or give me my wand back, either choice. But know
that the longer you have it, the worse my revenge will be."

Theo gulps as his hand goes to the girl's wand sticking out of his trouser pocket.

Malfoy stops him before he can, and sends a sneer at Ginny. "You will get it back when I believe I
can trust you."

"So never."

"Possibly."

"Prick."

"Bitch."

Hermione glares up at Malfoy for using such a word and hits him on the back of the shoulder as
Ginny snickers.

"I'll be right back, Gin. I need to get something from Theo's room."

She sees Malfoy's eyes flash down to her at the obvious lie as she follows them out of the room,
and to the main entry where the other guest room is located.
"That Gingersnap is going to kill me in my sleep Draco. I just know it. I think we should take shifts
watching the door."

Theo enters his room, puts the collection of wands in his bedside table drawer, and starts placing
wards over the area.

As she is about to enter the room, Malfoy pulls her back against the wall of the main entryway.

"You okay?"

She shrugs her shoulders and averts her eyes. She was not okay. Far from okay, to be honest. She
hadn't realized just how much she had yet to confront and deal with. The last couple of weeks
made her feel strong, stronger than she had felt in a long time, but today in the last hour, it felt like
all that hard work was destroyed.

"You don't have to be."

She smiles up at him. "Thank you. It is just a lot."

It is all she can say, but he doesn't push her.

"So still think The Order will heed your words?"

He moves in much closer than needed to have this conversation, but she doesn't mind. After the
shit show that had been the last hour, she finds his presence soothing.

"I am not saying that it won't take time, but I believe that once I figure out the best way to
communicate everything, they will. I… I just think I have a lot of questions I haven't answered
myself yet, to talk about everything in a clear and concise way."

Malfoy reaches out and rubs her upper arms as his face becomes softer.

"Well then, tomorrow can be trial run number 2. Although I assure you, Granger, if he puts any
piece of himself on you one more damn time or talks to you that way again, I cannot promise his
good health will continue."

He is trying to be scary, but she just rolls her eyes at the threat. He wouldn't hurt Ron. If he was
going to, he wouldn't have brought him back here for her.

"Ronald is harmless, Malfoy."

He scoffs down at her. "Yes, the bastard that has made you cry 27 times is of no consequence
whatsoever."

His hand rubbing her arm pulls down the side of her very plush robe, and Malfoy freezes. "What do
you have underneath this robe, Granger?"

She glances up to see him looking at the little lacy strap that was showing due to her robe falling
down her shoulder. Her cheeks begin to flare and her stomach starts churning with that familiar fire
he seemed to elicit so easily.

No Granger.

Not right now.

Not… not with Ron here now.

It feels wrong.

His hand reaches up and touches the string rubbing it back and forth between his two fingers.

"We… we can't do this right now, Malfoy. Pansy and I were just, well, she talked me into trying
something on. Theo came storming in, and I never had time to put on anything proper before…"

She feels him start to tug at the tie holding her robe together, and she lets out a shriek as she feels
the robe opening. She pulls both sides together quickly and holds her arms over her chest.

"Malfoy, I'm not joking! We can't do this, not with Ginny and Ron…"

"So, you don't plan on telling them?"

Hermione looks up, confused at the blonde staring intensely back at her, like what she was about
to say was very important.

"I am sure I will tell them we had sex at some point, but I want to have that conversation when I
am ready, not when I am forced…"

"Had sex?"

She pauses her own train of thought. "What?"

"That is what you plan on telling him. That we have had sex?"

"Well, what word would you like me to use, Malfoy? Would you rather me say fuck? Can't say
made love because you made it clear a while ago that is not what you do with women."

Whoa… Hermione, where did that come from?

She watches him physically flinch at her words. That was mean. That wasn't even true. She should
apologize.

"You know, for being the Brightest Witch of Our Age, you can be mind-numbingly clueless
sometimes, Granger."

Okay, never mind. I am not apologizing to you, bastard.

He moves closer, boxing her in the wall and surrounding her with him. Looking hurt, angry, and
lustful all at the same time. She is sure she has a similar look on her own face.

"Tell the fucker whatever you want. Don't worry; I won't spoil your dirty little secret."

Her mind goes blank at what to say as those piercing silver eyes keep staring at her. It is a
challenge, his words. She can hear it, but she doesn't understand why he is being like this with her.

"Thank you, Malfoy. I would appreciate that."

Somehow his face drops a little more, and he starts shaking his head as he stands straight and lets
out a wicked laugh.

"Goodnight, Granger."

He walks away and shuts the door hard behind him before giving her a chance to respond.

Was he mad at her? Why in the world was he angry at her for not wanting to have that
conversation at the get-go? He, of all people, should understand how delicate all this was for her.
If he thinks pressuring her with anger-filled sentences and slamming doors will convince her to do
it, he had another thing coming.

Hermione glances back at the door, secretly hoping he will open it and apologize for his cruelty
just now, but he doesn't. She turns and growls at her building anger as she walks back to their
room.

You are such a prick, Malfoy.

She enters to find Ginny already curled up on the mattress on the floor. The ginger crosses her
arms behind her head and lets out a content sound. "This… I know I should probably be guarded
right now, but bloody hell is it nice to lay on an actual mattress again. You wouldn't believe the
ransack we have been living in. Why does the side of evil always have posh circumstances while
we in the light live in the slums?"

Hermione walks into the closet to change out of the ridiculous piece of fabric that has been giving
her a wedgie for way too long.

The area between her legs is already sore from her time with Malfoy earlier. That warmth begins in
her abdomen as her mind travels to the images and all they had done together.

Gods… I want him again already…

Something has to be wrong with me.

"I am guessing with my capture, they had to change all the safehouses I knew about?"

"Yeah, they evacuated pretty quickly. Not too many casualties, thankfully. But the new ones are
shit-holes. Like literally one has an actual shit-hole in it rather than a loo."

She throws on one of Malfoy's shirts and a pair of shorts and walks back out. Hermione picks up
the blankets on the floor and positions them closer to the mattress Ginny is doing mattress angels
on as she stares at her. "Sorry. I know I'm gawking, but damn, Hermione, I can't believe you are in
front of me again."
She pulls out her wand and makes a cushioning charm on the ground next to the mattress, and sits
down across from Ginny. "I can't believe you are here either. A part of me never thought I would
see you again."

The ginger nods her head with teary eyes and reaches to grab one of Hermione's hands in hers. "I
am so sorry. I… it is hard to know what to say to you after what I know you have been through, but
I love you so much Hermione, and we really did try everything we could. We wanted to save you,
but we are so…"

Ginny freezes and stares down at their intertwined hands. "How… how safe is it to talk to you
about…"

Hermione understands what she is asking. "Very safe. Malfoy taught me occlumency."

The redhead's eyes widen. "Damn, that's cool. So he can occlude? That is fitting."

Hermione nods her head and pulls her blanket up into her lap. "And I was able to keep things
hidden from You Know Who himself. So we can discuss Order details. How bad is it, Gin?"

She hears her breath catch as she starts to shake her head, and lean back on her hands.

"As fucking bad as it can get. After retreating at the Battle of Hogwarts, people dropped the cause.
And getting other organizations and groups of people to help has been bloody impossible. No one
believes he can be stopped now. And I know you said the noseless git was looking more like shit
every day, but no one believes us without proof, and he never leaves that damned warded manor of
his to give us what we need."

She lets out a disgusted noise and sits up straighter in her frustration. "And the little support we do
have has been focusing entirely on saving as many Muggles and Muggle-born wizards and witches
as we can, which is a battle we are losing as well."

Hermione sees an image of her parents flash across her mind. She hopes that they are still safe. She
can see them both working in the garden, drinking wine and her father singing show tunes horribly
off-key. That is always how she pictures them. She has to believe it is true.

"Why has nobody gone after the sword?"

Ginny shrugs. "Because it's at Hogwarts. And that place is surrounded by dementors, Death Eaters,
fucking werewolves, and a host of other things. They started holding classes again recently, but it
is only pureblood and half-bloods, of course. No one can figure out a way in. Kingsley has been
focusing on trying to get reinforcements and support so we can hopefully initiate again, but
apparently, no one is coming."

Hermione moves her thumbs to her temple, feeling her brain thump against her skull. She hears the
words Ginny is saying but can't find it in herself to think in the powerful way she used to be able
to. In the way that found solutions within added knowledge.

"Are… well… listen, I know this is a dumb question because I know you aren't, but are you okay?
Do you, have you had issues since… being here with the snakes?"

"Some things… have stayed from when I was with Ma… Dolohov. But I am better. I am getting
better, and they have both been so great, Gin. I couldn't have done this without them."

Ginny lays down and turns towards her. She doesn't say anything for a while, which Hermione
knows is not normal for the blunt ginger.
 "I'm sorry. I… there is just so much, you know? Like I am sick over what you have been through,
it makes sense that it still… affects you. I am sick with myself over… well over a lot. And
Hermione, I know I am lying here right now talking to you, in a pretty out there room alive because
of the ferret, but I just don't get it. Malfoy not taking the chance to kill Ron and me? Especially
Ron? Is he on our side now? Are you sure he can be trusted?"

She can't help the smile that forms on her face. Hell, this was going to be hard. She looks over at
his pillow and blanket she grabbed instead of her own and feels a pang in her chest at the prospect
of sleeping without him for the first time in months.

She didn't want to, but she had to for Ginny and Ron. They both were having trouble grasping that
he wasn't the same boy who had called her a 'Mudblood' more than anyone else or the boy who
made fun of her looks.

She knew those were the moments they all saw when they looked at him, but she knew how many
more the two of them had throughout the years that made all that a little murkier.

"He's on our side, Ginny. He has been for a while. And so is Theo. Hitting me and hurting me was
one of the hardest things he has ever done because he has become one of my best friends, Ginny,
and he had to do it to keep us all alive. Even Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne have helped a little. I
would trust Malfoy and Theo with my life. They saved me."

She can tell that Ginny still doesn't believe her. She understands how shocking this must all be
from her perspective. Ginny didn't have the greatest experience with the Malfoy family. Lucius had
tried to kill her. They had all been cruel to their family for being what they called blood traitors.
And her brother and Malfoy hated each other.

Not many people saw the side of Malfoy he sometimes would show her back in school. When she
tried to bring him up with either Ron or Harry, they would always explode or go off on tangents
and conspiracies about him, so she had learned to just not talk about it with anyone. It wasn't like
someone would believe her anyway. And at that point, she still had her own conflicting feelings
about him.

"Okay. I, I have my reservations, Hermione, and I think I need some time to come to terms with it
all and see for myself, but I do trust you."

Hermione lays down facing Ginny and smiles. "Thank you."

"You know there is plenty of room in this bed for the both of us."

"I have trouble being in beds after… after everything."

She sees a flush appear on the ginger's chest as she averts her eyes and nods her head. "Yeah, I
bet…"

They both don't talk for a while before Ginny pipes up again.

"So now that we have you back, we change the world, yeah?"

Hermione rolls over onto her back and smiles.

"Yeah."

Chapter End Notes

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Discussion of rape and sexual assault

 Draco

He shuts the door louder than he really means to, but even as he tries to be the 'bigger man' as Theo
had put it, he can't help but feel a smug sense of satisfaction at the growl he hears Granger elicit as
she stomps out of the room.

The feeling only lasts for a second before the anger, frustration, and fear kick back in.

She chose me. She chose me.

"Well, that went as well as I thought it would." Theo sits up from placing wards on the table and
gives him a fake smile.

"Yes. Fucking great. Add another damn memory of that tosser putting his mouth on her. And did
you hear the arsehole call me a rapist?"

He slumps his head against the door behind him and closes his eyes.

He fucking kissed my girl.

Mine.

He should have killed them. He could have made it look like an accident like it was self-defense.
Maybe he could have created a false memory of them trying to kill him to show Granger.

"Yeah, I have no idea where that came from. I am sure that sucked to see another bloke's mouth on
her, but she didn't kiss him back, and I bet it works to your favor."

Draco looks down to see Theo opening up the closet in the room.

"What do you mean? How does him kissing my girl work out in my favor?"

Theo slips off his shirt and begins to pull on one to sleep in. "Because like you said, it was fucked
up that he did that. Especially since she doesn't know that they have before."

"She knows."

Theo freezes with the shirt halfway over his head, his brown hair and one eye visible. "What?
How?"

Draco starts unbuttoning his own, wishing for other hands to be working their way down to the last
button.

"Because I told her, Nott. Did you really think I would touch her without her knowing that?"

Theo pulls the shirt the rest of the way down as his eyes continue to widen. "Shit, you're serious.
You really told her, and she still fucked you."

He lets out a high-pitched whistle and starts shaking his head for some reason; Draco doesn't
understand.

"Of course, I told her. She had the right to know."

"Well then, Draco, I can confidently say you have nothing to be brooding over right now. Leave
that for the Weasley."

Draco looks up, not following Theo's reason for assurance.

"Why would you say that?"

Theo waves his wand and conjures up a bed where one of the chairs used to be.

"Because like you said, Draco, she chose you."

"Yeah, but like you told me, now that our little trauma bubble has been broken and he is here, I am
not her only option anymore."

"You were never her only option if she knew they had kissed! Don't you get it? Mate, seriously,
you wait and see. I guarantee tomorrow that the first thing that evil witch does is lay into him for
what he pulled tonight. While I wouldn't go as far as you did by calling it assault, it was definitely
fucked up with the fact that he knows she doesn't remember the first time."

Draco moves to sit on the bed and finds himself feeling uncomfortable at the sensation of falling
into the material. He hadn't slept in a bed since she had been with them. He lets out a grunt and
throws himself back onto the pillow. It would be a sleepless night without her next to him, but the
realization that the woman had made him into someone who was starting to prefer to sleep on the
floor made him want to Avada himself.

"The wanker has some sort of twisted power over her, always has Theo. You saw her just agree to
his wants after all the horrible things he said to her tonight."

"It's not power; it's familiarity. He is her best friend, and she hasn't seen him in over half a year. Of
course, they are going to want to talk in private."

"It's more than that. She holds herself back for him. She feels weaker around him because he says
shit like 'she is crazy' to her, and she believes it."

He had seen it repeatedly happen throughout the years, occurring more often as time went on.
When the wart used to call her 'mental' and a 'know-it-all,' she would usually just roll her eyes. Now
when he said things to her, she took them in. They root in her belief of herself. He has no idea why
the brilliant witch gave someone so unimportant and bland as Ronald Weasley that kind of
influence on her.

"Maybe it is time for you to come clean about some stuff Draco. You don't have to protect her from
her own mind being used against her anymore. What is holding you back?"

He had been waiting for this. Theo was never a fan of how much he kept her a secret from her. But
Theo didn't understand the additional risk he would have placed on her before by being honest with
how he felt, or what he had done, and why he had done it.

He had gotten so lucky that Bellatrix started her 'discipline' with him while he was still struggling
with what he exactly felt towards the Gryffindor Princess. Even that little glimpse of lust mixed
with hatred had been enough for his crazy aunt to choose her to torture. To do it in front of him. To
see how he would react. How would they have used her against him if they knew it was much
more than lust he felt for the woman? They would have done worse than what they had already
done to her.

That is why he had gone to Snape in fifth year and started occluding lessons with him. He told
himself that if he backed away, shagged other girls, and focused on his studies, the feelings would
subside. He used to hope that he would fall for a girl more fitting to the environment he was being
pushed into. Maybe even Parkinson. That is why he gave in and shagged her a few times during
sixth year. That, and to feel something other than the daily dread of death looming over him.

But every time they fucked, every time he fucked anyone his entire life, it was always visions of
her that finished him off. It was always her that his eyes were drawn to. It was always her that
filled his dreams and fantasies. It didn't go away with occluding her away. Instead, he built the
largest castle he could to try and hold in everything about her.

He had to keep her a secret. He had to protect her from himself. He couldn't give her any idea that
he cared about her. Because the fucking girl always ended up in the face of danger even without
him being involved. She didn't need another thing added that others could use against her.

And as Snape reminded him so often, caring for her was one of the most dangerous things he could
do to her.

But Theo is right. There really wasn't a reason not to tell her everything with her current occluding
skills. He had told her some things. Some less incriminating things that he spun to be less than they
actually were.

He can't even use the excuse that it is because he wanted to protect her from actually caring about
him or having feelings for him. Because he selfishly dove right into her open arms of affection, and
enabled them every step of the way these past two months.

That wasn't the reason. None of those were the reasons. The real reason; he was a coward. It
always came back to that. He was afraid that it would scare her off if she knew how he really felt.
It was undoubtedly more than she did. She had made that clear tonight. They were nowhere close
to being on the same page. And while Draco knows she feels something for him, it wasn't...
Wasn't…

Draco sighs and runs his hand over his face. "Because it is too early to put that all on her. She has
enough she is trying to figure out right now."

Theo scoffs above him. Not convinced. "Shit, you and your twisted excuses. Telling her would
clear up some of the things she is trying to figure out."

"Telling her would be too much, Theo. She still hasn't even figured out if I am a one-night stand or
more. Telling her everything would make it clear how… how strongly I feel for her. She just
escaped from a fucking sociopath who used her physically and mentally. She deserves to be given
time and space to heal from that before being pressured into something."

Just because I want her so fucking bad doesn't mean she should feel obligated to want me back.

I can't put that on her right now.

No matter how bad I want to.

Draco shifts on the bed, trying to get more comfortable as Theo doesn't respond. He would even
take a blanket mound on top of him over this current sleeping arrangement. Even a damn sheet in
between them pulled down a few inches so he could count the freckles on her face.

There were more than on her hand, which only had 54 freckles on it now due to less sun exposure.
He always fell asleep counting those little marks. How had he been laying with her on top of him,
dick inside her, only hours ago?

Fuuuck, this blows.

I hate you, Ronald Weasley. I fucking hate you.

I should have killed them.

"I don't know if she is ready for all of this," he whispers.

He is certain Theo understands what he is talking about. Watching Granger try and navigate her
story combined with both of theirs was painful. The fire was nowhere to be seen. She looked
nothing like the Granger who used to storm into the Great Hall with her pins, and speeches of
justice so eloquently put together that one would have believed she wrote them down and
practiced.

Nowhere was the girl who had punched him in the face for being a spoiled prat whose pride had
been damaged over a stupid animal. Nowhere was the girl who placed Rita Skeeter in a fucking jar
to teach her a lesson. Nowhere was the girl who always knew the answer. He had never seen her
not know the answer before tonight.

"She isn't. Trust me, as someone who has never really gotten the hang of talking about oneself
honestly in a way that doesn't make people stare or cry, it is hard to navigate. So we have to make
sure we help and not hurt."

Draco nods his head and looks at the door. She was right down the bloody hall. His witch. And
here he was sleeping with fucking Nott.

"She wants to keep me a secret."

He hears Theo climbing into the bed above him.

"That'll change. I'll bet you 50 galleons she physically attacks Ron in the morning before saying a
word to him. And 100 galleons that you two aren't a secret for more than a few days if they stay
here that long, which I bet they do. I don't see Hermione agreeing to leave without us."

He feels a pain in his chest at Theo's words. That was both his hope and worst fear at the same
time. Nothing in him wanted her to leave, but everything in him wanted her to be safe. And being
anywhere near him guaranteed she was in danger.

"Deal."
He knew he would never be able to convince her to leave on his own. Her pure little Gryffindor
heart would never be able to leave them behind unless maybe the Weasel and Weaselette were
involved. That was the horrible irony of this fucked up situation. The only way, the only fucking
choices he once again had sucked.

Either he chooses to let her stay, and he continues to ruin her. To let her be used by everyone,
including himself until there is nothing left of her. Or he pushes her into the arms of the man he
hated more than anyone rather than the Dark Lord and Dolohov. Pushed her towards him because
he could give her safety. He could give her a future. He could take her away.

The Weasel had lots of options when it came to her. Always fucking had.

That was one of the many reasons Draco always hated the git. He loved to moan, groan, and
complain about being poor, and average. He liked to blame everyone else around him for his
problems when he had so many amazing options in front of him. If he would only move a fucking
foot in any direction, he could have so many things. He could have had her since third year but
never made a move. He could have been the captain of his Quidditch team, but he never put in the
practice. He could have had better grades but never studied.

And even though the wart never even moved or made any decision really, he still had the world's
best witch wrapped around his finger, a best friend who was the fucking Chosen One, a family
Draco would never want, but he could not deny the warmth that they had for one another. He was
given it all and had to do nothing for it.

Didn't have to get a Dark Mark. Didn't have to occlude and keep away from someone he cared
about to keep them safe. Didn't have to be tortured for his and his parent's failures, which were the
only decisions he had ever felt good about. Didn't have to fucking drag the girl he was enamored
with basically naked in front of her rapists and hurt her.

People used to tell him all the time how he was privileged. Yeah, so bloody privileged. To live in a
considerable home by himself or with tutors, learning things to make him into the sculpture his title
required. A home that was turned into the headquarters for the darkest wizard that ever existed. To
have money and wealth that he would never really enjoy due to being in the service of a madman.
To have been born a pureblood male, ha, what an actual load of shit that was.

None of it was privilege. All of it was surface level.

Real privilege came with freedom, with being free.

He had never been free. At birth, he was given a title that he was expected to live up to. That title
closed many doors he had found himself growing more and more interested in as he grew up. The
main one being the beautiful brunette across the hall.

Other doors, such as privacy or choice over his own future, had never been his either. Even before
the Dark Lord made his comeback, the only other option was to be placed in an arranged marriage
and breed male heirs. To continue on with the family business, which was not even a business at
this point, but more of a redistribution of the wealth he already owned. To ensure it grew and was
placed in the best areas. That was his other option for his life before he was given by his parents to
a cause he didn't believe in as a fucking child, for Merlin's sake.

None of that was freedom. None of that was privilege.

But he received a little taste of freedom these last two months with her. He had finally been given a
glimpse of what it would be like to not hold back and act in the way he longed to act towards her.
He was given the privilege, the opportunity, to be who he wanted to be to her. And the most
remarkable thing about it all was that she had matched his actions with her own.

But when she said how she didn't want the two Weasleys to know what they had done, and talked
about it in the past tense, and described it as just some one-night thing, something in him broke.

He was fine with not rushing and telling the two carrot tops they were together. He understood
how big of a deal that was and how she should tell them when she was the most comfortable. The
problem was the maddening woman seemed to think what they had between each other was just
sex. Draco knew what just sex felt like. All of his other interactions with women had been just sex,
and they were nothing like what he and Granger had.

A part of him can't help but think maybe this was all one-sided still. Maybe he was just all in his
head, and taking the little moments, and things she said, and making them much bigger.

But the other part of him knows she also realizes this is more than just sex. She may be afraid of
that. She may not be ready to admit that. But it was, it is. He had almost yelled it at her tonight.
Almost screamed that she was his and took her right there against the wall. But he knew the witch.
He knew that wouldn't work to make her stubborn mind admit and give in. If he didn't want to risk
her walking away from what they had, he needed her to realize it on her own.

And I plan on playing dirty to help you realize, Granger.

His growing anger is not helping the bed feel more comfortable. Theo fell asleep at some point and
was already mumbling some gibberish. Draco forgot about Theo's incessant sleep talking.

She is right down the fucking hall, and you aren't with her.

This sucks.

This fucking sucks.

I should have killed them.

He lays there for who knows how long before he finally gives in and throws his pillow and blanket
onto the floor.

"You-deck-wenches-need-toscully-and-ghrdgfhmmm."

He rolls his eyes. If he hears the bastard start wanking, he's going to go sleep in the library.

Well… not sleep. You can't seem to do that like a normal bloke anymore, Malfoy.

Even being on the floor isn't helping.

“Hoist-the-mane-sails-and-gette-canons-redshrugfer…”

Yeah, he isn't getting any sleep. He sits up and runs his hand through his hair and across his bare
chest. He should use this time. He still needed to break the spells on a good amount of the books
the snakes had brought.

He stands up, exits the room, and walks down to the kitchen, where the large stack of old books lay
on the table.

He opens the cabinet and grabs the kettle to make some tea. The only thing he knows how to make
the Muggle way. Theo taught him during the first two days Granger had been with them so he
could make her tea in the morning.

Luckily, he only caught two kettles on fire and singed one of Theo's eyebrows off before getting it
right. Theo said he was the only man he knew who could catch a container of water on fire.

As it steeps, he pulls one of the books forward and starts working on breaking the fucked up spells
that keep Granger from touching them.

It had been like diving off a cliff when he walked away from everything he had ingrained in him to
believe.

That was a truth he shared with her. He stopped believing in blood supremacy that last time he
called her a Mudblood. Well, honestly, he stopped being willing to pretend he believed at that
point. He thinks now he never really did believe, but the day in the shop was his breaking point.

Granger walked into Madame Malkin's before sixth year, and his mother had noticed him staring in
her direction. She was bundled up in a blue knit hat, a huge scarf covering half of her face with her
crazy curls sticking out everywhere. She was hard to recognize, but not for him.

He started to smile at her, loving the warm feeling that consumed him just at her presence. He
hadn't seen her since last year, and that summer was filled with the worst days of his life. Draco
was happy to feel anything with the task placed on him to save his father. He saw his mother
looking at him strangely and then back over to Granger's direction.

Shit… Turn this into something else like Snape advised. This is not the time to finally be honest
with your mother. This is not the time to be telling anyone about her.

He turned his smile into a look of disgust and took a sniff at the air. "If you are wondering what the
smell is, mother, a Mudblood just walked in."**

He hoped he said it low enough that she wouldn't hear, but Potter had given him a pointed look,
and Granger had tucked her head farther into her scarf and walked away.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I'm sorry, Granger.

As the curse words continued to play in his mind and his heart leaped up into his throat, he knew.
He knew he understood how horrible that word was. He knew he understood how wrong
everything was that his family stood for. He knew it had to be if they were out to destroy
breathtaking creations like her.

He knew.

Draco finishes breaking the spell on the book in front of him and sits back to look at the clock.
Granger wouldn't be up for a while if she slept in, but something tells him that she is probably
having just as restless of a night as he was. He doesn't know why, but he starts to brew a pot of
chamomile.

If she is up early, it will be ready for her. Our deal is I make your tea Granger, and you agreed to
it.

He accios a pack of cigarettes over and pulls one out. He lights it and takes a long drag before
blowing the smoke into the space in front of him.

He had to make a plan for this day. Yesterday had been too out of control for his liking. It was
obvious to him that they both were hiding something from them. And Draco's guess is it had
something to do with the battle.

He would put money on his assumption that the Weaselette was the one to cast the obliviate.
Hagrid had his hands full with carrying both Longbottom and Potter. Which meant the Weaselette
knew why Granger had to be obliviated. Finding out was today's goal. There was no way they
would tell him or Theo, but they may tell Granger.

"I thought I smelled tobacco."

He looks up and sees his witch walking into the kitchen wrapped up in a large blanket, with only
half of her face visible through the bushy curls, and a smile pulls across his face.

You're supposed to be mad at her, Malfoy.

How can I be mad when she looks like that?

"I just brewed a kettle." He points to the stove, and the blanket mound makes its way to the device.

"Can't sleep either?"

"No."

She pulls out her red mug; Draco walks over and begins to prepare her tea.

He feels her eyes on him, and he smirks.

Like I said, Granger, I am playing dirty.

"What?" He asks with a false air of ignorance.

"I know what you are doing, Malfoy."

He stirs the honey into the steaming liquid and turns to face the brunette, handing her the drink. "I
don't know what you are talking about."

He purposefully crosses his arms and leans against the counter, slightly flexing, and he watches her
cheeks flush as she rolls her eyes.

"Oh yes, because you always walk around half-naked looking like a Greek god." His eyebrows
raise, and he laughs as she tries to recover from her anger-filled compliment. "I mean, I know you
are doing this to get me back for wanting to keep it a secret, and it won't work. So you can go put a
bloody shirt on and cover up... all that."

She gestures at his exposed chest.

He smirks. "That is not why I am doing this."

She takes a sip and makes a contented sound that warms his body before looking pointedly at his
face only. "Really? Then why Malfoy?"

Oh Granger, you are a horrible liar.

"Treat this as one of our little games. Or one of our… lessons. It's a test. Solve the puzzle and…"
He looks up and down, not seeing anything rather than the thick comforter the woman had draped
completely around her, but he was doing it more to make a point anyways. And while it does not
make him hard, she does look like the cutest thing he has ever seen. "You'll get a reward."

He gives her a wink, and she rolls her eyes while grunting at him before descending to the floor.

"I haven't lost a game yet, Malfoy, so be prepared to lose."

"I would have no issue with that. Even when I lose to you, Granger, I still win."

Her head jerks up at him, and he doesn't really understand her shocked expression.

"Whatever you say… Are you working on breaking the spells on the resources?"

Draco nods his head and moves back over to sit at the table.

"The ones on the floor are safe for you to touch now. The ones on the table I am still working on."

She reaches out and grabs the book closest to her and lets out a yawn as she pulls it into her lap. "I
realize I never said it yesterday, but thank you, Malfoy. For bringing them here, for doing that for
the cause. That one decision could really impact the rest of the war if we play this right."
Not for the cause Granger, for you.

Always for you.

"I don't give a fuck about the Disorder, Granger. Especially after they just left you to be used, and
hurt, and…"

"I know!"

He looks down and sees her hands shaking on her mug as she closes her eyes. He is glad to see that
she is affected by basically being treated like an animal by her own precious, good, full of light
side of this war.

Sure the fuckers would never stoop so low as to use a killing curse, but they had no problem with
letting one of their most valuable members be abused in every single way as long as it served a
purpose. Cowards. All fucking cowards. They administered their cruelty second hand, by turning
the other way, letting others do the dirty work, and making excuses for every damn hard decision.

There was no perfect side to be on in war. Both sides held their own darkness.

"Sorry, I am not mad at you. I just… I am really struggling with that as well." She says as she
opens her eyes once again.

"As you should be."

"But I have to focus on the bigger picture. I have to right now, to keep my sanity. And the bigger
picture is The Order needs inside people, and we are going to be that for them."

Draco closes his eyes and turns his head to the ceiling.

Oh, bloody hell… fucking Gryffindors and their hero complexes. Good luck turning me into a hero
Granger; trust me, I don't meet any of the qualifications and honestly have no desire to be one for
anyone but you.

"I know your main reason for bringing them was to try and persuade me to leave, but that is not
happening, Malfoy. Not ever. I don't leave until you can leave with me."

"Why?" The question leaves him before he can stop himself.

Did the woman hear the way she talked to him? Did she understand how important, how treasured
sentences like the one she just uttered became to him? It wasn't normal, right? No, it wasn't. It
couldn't be. You only talked like that, and said things like that to someone important to you.
Someone who you cared about. It had to be more than sex. It had to be.

Just fucking admit it, Granger! So I can tell you everything, please, please, I need to tell you
everything.
"Because I care about all of you. Because you deserve for someone to care. Because you are
trapped and dying, and I can't leave you behind to that fate. You… we… all of us were fucking
children! You shouldn't have the rest of your life taken from you for decisions you made or were
forced into as a child. I have to try to help you. We have to try to get out of this together."

The two of them stare at each other. It was sweet and true what she said, but it wasn't what he
wanted. It wasn't what he needed. The woman was lying to herself again. Betraying her wants and
desires and emotions like fucking always.

"I talked to Ginny some more last night and this morning. She told me about what The Order has
been doing and going through. Which shows she at least trusts me. She even said she would work
on trusting you and Theo as well."

"Anything I should know?"

Granger places the book down and takes another sip of her tea.

"They can't find support from anyone, and their numbers are meager. It sounds like they are still
trying to create deals and negotiations with some organizations, but they aren't going well. And she
confirmed the sword is being held at Hogwarts."

Draco sits back in his chair. So the wanker adjacent told her a lot without telling her anything at all.
Sounds about right.

Granger pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth as she thinks. "I haven't been able to sleep all
night. My brain just won't shut off, and I've been processing everything that happened and was said
yesterday."

"I have as well."

She looks down into her mug and swirls the liquid around, tapping against the edge of the cup with
her thumb. "They are hiding something from me, aren't they?"

Draco sets the next book in front of him and looks at the bundled woman on the floor. She was
very good at reading between the lines when she processed situations. He was glad she picked up
on the wayward looks, the changing of topics, and blatant disregard for some things that were
asked.

"I received that impression as well. What do you think it is?"

He has his suspicions after the way both of them talked yesterday. Today he would try and confirm
those thoughts.

"I think Ginny is the one who obliviated me, and they are still wanting to keep whatever the reason
was for that action from me."

He can't help but smile even though he knows it is inappropriate. She was truly brilliant. At least
they were on the same page about this.

"I agree."

Granger takes a sip and smiles contentedly at the mug, then takes another larger gulp. "You make
the best tea. The easiest part of our deal to agree to."

He lets out a little laugh as he pulls out another cigarette. "I thought I made it the same way you
always did in school."

"No, something has to be different because this is better."

She takes another long sip, and he takes a drag, and they both exhale together.

"I have also been thinking about what I said yesterday. And I want you to know that I am sorry for
what I said to you. I didn't really say it in a good or clear way that expressed what I was actually
thinking." She looks up and meets his eyes. She is so sincere and unafraid of being vulnerable,
even when she believes she was in the wrong. "I am in no way ashamed of you, Malfoy, or what
we did, and I am sorry if it came off that way. I just know there are other issues and things I need
to work out with them, before that discussion. And if I can, it'll make that conversation much
easier."

He takes the cigarette out of his mouth and stares at the tip, slowly cascading a small tendril of
smoke in front of him.

And what is that conversation going to state, Granger? That is what I need to know.

He still was not a fan of her choice of wording. Calling what they are a 'that' and deeming it less
important. But he decides the woman is dealing with enough people questioning and asking a lot
from her. He could handle her saying she wasn't ashamed of him or what they had done. He could
hold on to that part of what she said instead of the parts that made him break.

"Thank you. I promise I will not say a word to either of them."

"Good morning, ferret. You couldn't sleep either? Hermione, the shower is free now."

I already fucking hate this…

Draco looks up to see the Weaselette twirling what looks to be her wand in one hand as she throws
Granger's into her lap.

Draco can't stop the surprise from showing. "How the fuck did you…"

"Oh, you know, a little magic here, a little magic there. Teddy must have been bloody terrified
yesterday. He placed 23 wards on the damn table. Oh well, we are even now." She smirks down at
him before reaching into the cupboard and grabbing a mug to fill with tea.

Granger stands and puts her mug in the sink. She turns and walks over to him and leans in close.
Draco feels his blood rush downwards as she brings herself closer to him.

Please touch me, Granger, please. I miss you touching me.

"Be nice." She smiles teasingly, and Draco doesn't miss her eyes lingering on his chest before
walking out of the kitchen.

It takes him a minute to concentrate before he shakes his head and starts working on the books
again.

Some of them have very complex and old spells around them that are very stubborn. As he finishes
and places the book on the floor and grabs another one, he notices the girl staring at him from
across the room.

"Have something to say, Weaselette?"

She scoffs. "Not quite yet, but I am watching, Malfoy. And I have been noticing, that I will let you
know."

He turns and leans back in his chair to return her glare.

"I have been as well."

He continues to stare at the ginger. At some point, it becomes some type of weird power move, and
there is no way in hell he is going to back down or lose to a Weasley.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

Red finally breaks the gaze and sends a knowing smile at the door leading out of the room. The
yell had definitely been Theo. He hears commotion down the hall and then hurried footsteps before
a frantic, and fresh from bed, Theo comes flying into the room. His one hand is covering half of his
face, and his other is holding his wand out at the Gryffindor, leaning on the counter, looking like
she doesn't have a worry in the world.

"Good morning there, Teddy. Sleep well? Have peaceful dreams, I know. I…"

"Get it off of me right now, Ginevra! Draco, she got her fucking wa…"

"Yes, I know."

The girl proves the point, pulling her wand out of her back pocket and sticking it through the bun
of hair on top of her head. "Sorry to tell you, Teddy, but it won't come off for a whole day. My
brothers put a preservation spell on the ink to ensure it stays there for 24 hours."

Theo's mouth drops open, and he raises his wand to the redhead's face as his hand shakes. "You
better be lying, Gingersnap! If what you are saying is true, I will…"

"You should be grateful that is all I did. I thought about sealing your eyes shut with permanent
paste. That is a pain to get off, believe me. You got off easy, Teddy. You can thank Hermione for
that."

His whole body is shaking as he looks at the girl. Finally, he pulls his hand away from his face,
and Draco sees what the two must be talking about.

"Nott is that …"

"Bollocks! Bollocks drawn on the side of my face in fucking 24-hour permanent ink? Yes, Draco,
it fucking is!"

Draco can't help the laugh that comes out, and he also hears the Weasley double over on herself.
He looks back up at the incredibly accurate drawing of the male genitalia that takes up the entire
right cheek of Theo's face.

"You know, for my other nickname for you? Nutsack Nott. I thought it was appropriate."

Theo gapes. "When is it ever appropriate to have bollocks on your face!?"

Red peaks her eyebrows up in interest at the raging Theo and crosses her arms before her, eyeing
him up and down. Draco knows that look. He gives people that look all the time.

"None. But oh, can I think of a couple extremely inappropriate yet enticing situations for that
specific occurrence."

Draco watches as Theo completely freezes as he stares at the girl. He doesn't even think he is
breathing anymore. The ginger continues to just look at him, waiting for him to react. And damn
him, but Draco finds himself slightly impressed.

Fuck no. Take it back, Malfoy. Never compliment a Weasley.

"What is going on in here?"

Granger quickly walks in, her brown hair soaking wet and dripping onto the floor, her shirt half-
buttoned showing the top of her black lace bra, and her skin still flushed from the shower.

Merlin, I miss touching you…

Fuck I want to touch you, taste you, lick you…

He feels his trousers tightening, and he readjusts himself in his seat. He looks up to see the
Weaselette glaring at him with a knowing expression, and he decides to fuck her and her power
move and breaks eye contact.

"Oh my gods, Theo, what is that on your… Ginny! This is not what I meant!"

"Come off it, Hermione. He isn't maimed, and I didn't touch him. It'll come off in 24 hours."

Theo finally takes in a large breath of air.

"She is going to fit in well here." He says it resigned and opens up the cabinets to pull out a few
pans to make breakfast. "But you can make your own bloody breakfast and you will regret it soon
because I make one hell of an eggs benedict."

The ginger leans in close to the side of his face. "If I let you put your bollocks on my face, do I get
breakfast?"

Draco chokes on his own spit. Theo's eyes widen, and look highly terrified. Granger gasps out loud
and moves next to the crass girl, slapping her hard in the shoulder.
"That is not funny, Ginny Weasley!"

"Have to disagree with you on that one, Granger."

She turns and glares at him, and he takes in the fire she is now pointing in his direction. Theo
recovers from her vulgar question and starts to boil a pot of water.

Weaselette makes a face of disgust. "Ew, gross. I never want to be in agreement with the ferret.
Sorry there, Teddy, just a crass joke. I am good for them every now and again."

"Yes, and like I said, you will fit in well here."

Draco looks to see a small smile form on Theo's face.

Well, that's interesting…

He sees that Granger notices before coming over to him and sitting on the floor next to his chair.
The Weaselette flashes Theo a smile before walking over and taking the empty seat across from
him.

"So, what is all of this?"

"They are resources from some of the Sacred 28 libraries. During the last spectacle, You Know
Who did something different in my mind, and Master and Nott Sr. Did some ritual. We are trying
to figure out what it is."

"Master?"

Granger's face pales, and he can't help but reach down and squeeze her shoulder. "I meant
Dolohov. Sorry, one of those things that has been hard to let go."

The redhead just nods and grabs a book.

"Hermione filled me in on some stuff last night and this morning. She also made it very clear that
she has no intentions of leaving with us without you snakes for some reason, so our only option is
to figure out a way to kill him. She told us he looks even shittier than normal lately, is that true?"

Draco nods his head. He would give the girl the bare minimum until she proved that she was
willing to give in return.

"Any idea why?"

He makes eye contact with the ginger before shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly and leaning
back in his chair. "My guess is because he is down to one horcrux."

The girl goes rigid. "You… You know about, Hermione. Are you kidding me, you told him?"

"Of course I did. He is on our side, Ginny! Do you know how helpful it will be for The Order to
have people on the inside again? Do you know how detrimental that could be for this war?"

Draco can't believe his woman still believes he is some double agent for The fucking Order. After
last night and learning they left her to be used for their own needs, he had no desire for any of them
to make it out of this war alive. He just didn't want his girl to be in danger anymore. And not being
enslaved to a dark wizard would be nice too.

"And you're telling me that you are 100% certain that they are on our side, Hermione? Because that
information in the wrong hands could do the exact opposite as what you are saying."

"Do you want eggs, Draco?"

He shakes his head at Theo's question.

"I trust them with my life, Ginny."

He squeezes her shoulder again. Granger looks up at him and gives him a genuine smile that shows
more than she means to, and by how the Weaselette had been watching him earlier, he is sure she
doesn't miss it.

Oh love, I will not be the one to blow our little secret.

"Do you want eggs, Ginevra? And no, you don't have to do… anything to receive them."

"What a gentleman, Teddy! I didn't know they put men like that into Slytherin."

She cuts him a look before taking a plate from Theo.

"Being ambitious, resourceful, clever, and determined can make a fine gentleman if those attributes
are directed at women. They also come in handy with surviving, which Theo is very good at."

Red looks down at her plate, picks up the eating utensil, and looks at it weirdly. "Have any forks I
could use rather than this half-blood contraption?"

Theo looks down at his plate as he sits between them. "Uhm, no."

"What? Why don't you…"

"Ginny, just eat, please."

After she looks at Granger for a few moments, the girl shrugs and takes a bite of her food, letting
out a very sensual moan. "Shit, this is good. You are making me actually feel a little bad for
drawing that on the side of your face."

Theo grabs a book to start breaking. "Well, you should feel bad. I'll get you back, though, don't
worry."

"Oh, is that so? Okay, sounds like…"

They all hear a door shut down the hall, and Draco turns his gaze towards the doorway.

Here we fucking go…

He feels his muscles tighten, knowing he needs to be ready for the twat making his way down the
hall. He can see Granger in his periphery, placing the book on the ground next to her, obviously
already on edge as well.

Be the bigger man today, Draco. Be the bigger…

The thought disappears as the wanker stands in the open doorway looking like absolute shit. Draco
can smell the alcohol seeping from him from across the room, and he hears the man's sister grunt
in frustration.

The fucker doesn't take any of it in as he looks down at Granger and smiles.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

"Morning 'Mione, you want to…"

The small brunette launches herself at him so fast, he doesn't have time to raise his wand and
defend himself. She pushes him against the doorframe smacking at his chest and boxes his ears
and upper arms as he raises them to protect his face.

"You horrible-clueless-disrespectful-insensitive-drunk of a man Ronald Weasley!"

"Ouch, fuck! Hermione, Ow!"

She pushes him against the doorframe, and Draco catches himself smiling wide like a bloody idiot
as he watches his girl lay into the sorry excuse for a man.

She just keeps getting better and better.

He hears someone cough next to him, and he looks over to see Theo holding out his hand and
gesturing at him. Draco rolls his eyes, knowing the bastard will want the money as soon as this
captivating show was over.

"You don't see me for eight months. You watch everything that happened to me, and you think the
most appropriate thing to do is kiss me?! That is what you decide to do? Like you have any right to
be doing that to me, putting that on me as soon I see you again! And now, you also think that being
pissed is going to help! How mental are you?!"

She places another hard shove into his chest, and the sozzled git finds some small semblance of
coordination and grabs both of her wrists, holding them tight to stop them from attacking him.

"I'm not pissed. I just had a few drinks is all. And I know Hermione. I know I should have sat and
talked with you before doing that. I just was so excited to see you, and I couldn't help myself. And I
know if you give me a chance to explain, you'll understand why I…"
"I know we kissed before Ron." She yanks her wrists out of his hands and pulls back from him,
looking overwhelmed at the rank smell.

Draco was not one to judge someone for excessively drinking usually. He was known to abuse the
substance when times got rough every now and again himself. But the utter classlessness and
demeanor in which the Weasel was holding himself has him agreeing with Granger's sentiments.

Maybe Theo was right; the fucker seems to be digging his own grave.

The wanker's eyes widen, and he stutters over his thoughts flying out as almost words as soon as he
thinks them.

"Wha-how-you know we-do you remember then-how do you…"

"No, I don't remember, Malfoy told me. But that doesn't change anything, Ronald. You still
shouldn't…"

"What are you talking about? That changes everything! Why are you acting like this then, huh?
Why are you so mad at me for doing something we both have been wanting to do for forever?"

Okay… I don't like where this is going…

"Because even though I know it happened, I still don't remember it, Ronald!"

"Well, now you do." The fucker moves in close to her and places his hand on the side of his girl's
face.

Correction. I hate where this is going. And sorry, but I can't let it go any further.

He stands up, but Nott holds his fucking arm out in front of him in his path.

"Nott…" He says it through gritted teeth.

"Just hold back. Trust me, Draco."

Theo, I have no desire to be the bigger man anymore. I would much prefer to be the man who lays
the fucker on the ground for touching what is mine.

"What an absolutely horrible thing to say! Ron, I know we are supposed to talk, but I refuse to
have that conversation unless you are sober. Is this normal for you now?"
"Yes!" They all turn to the Weaselette, who spews the words in between bites of her breakfast. "He
has been sozzled at least half of the last eight months, and he turns into an even bigger tosser
somehow. Mum has been trying to get him to stop, but he thinks that since he has hair on his chest
and face now, he is a man and doesn't need to listen to the much brighter women in his life."

"Fuck off, Gin! 'Mione please, let's just go talk. I am not that sloshed, I promise. Just give me a
chance to explain. Give me a chance to be alone with my best friend and just talk, okay?"

The bloody bastard reaches for her hand, the one that had wrapped, squeezed, and stroked his dick
the other day, intertwining his bloody fingers with hers.

Oh, fuck this!

He pushes past the arm holding him back, but before he can do anything, he watches Granger pull
her hand free of his, holding it close to her chest. She looks back at where he is standing a few feet
away, and he knows he sees her flash an apologetic look at him.

"Ron, I think it would be best for you and me to go talk before you sit down with Hermione. They
all have been telling me a lot of stuff you should know, and I think the conversation will go much
smoother if it is just us." The wanker adjacent stands up and moves between her brother and best
friend, grabbing his upper arm roughly and hauling him out the door. "Thanks for breakfast,
Teddy! Next time we'll switch it up, and I'll provide the eggs, and you can provide the bollocks!"

Theo spurts his drink onto the table as he chokes on the contents that make it down his throat. He
continues to cough as they hear a door shut down the hallway. Granger runs a hand over her face as
she walks over to lean on the table between him and Theo.

"Sorry Theo, she can be…"

"A Gingersnap? Yes, I am learning." He waves his wand and dries up the small puddles of tea he
had made on the table.

"Is she anything like your fan…"

"Is Draco's dick able to…"

"TRUCE! TRUCE!"

She waves her hands at Theo to get him to stop talking like Draco doesn't have any idea what they
both were going on about. Theo laughs and waves his white napkin in the air before taking another
sip of his drink.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy. Thank… Thank you for not, well, responding to him."

Draco grabs the hand the wanker tried to take, and he envelopes it in between both of his, pressing
and rubbing harder at the skin than he probably should.

Mine.
"What are you…"

"Did it cross your mind what hand he was holding Granger? Did you look down and see him
touching this hand and picture how it had wrapped around…"

"Still here! Still right here! My house, for fuck's sake! Third wheel in my own fucking house! And
now I am a third wheel with a bollocks on his face. I am going to bloody Avada myself."

Granger tries to pry her hand out from between his, but he feels her fingers caressing his palms
hidden between his hands and gives her a knowing look.

She flushes and shakes her head, finally pulling her hand free.

"Sorry, Theo, so the goal we three should have for today is to figure out what they are hiding from
me about the battle…"

Theo moves around Granger and gives him a pointed look. Draco pretends to ignore him.

I'll come clean, after she does... Maybe.

"And to set up some type of correspondence and relationship with The Order."

Theo picks up the plates, places them in the sink, and casts a self-cleaning charm over them before
turning around and looking at the floor in front of Granger.

He had probably been the only one of them to get any sleep last night and seemed to be following
along with her thought process pretty well.

"They are going to be even harder to convince Hermione. I think we need to take a page out of our
Dark Lord's handbook and follow in his footsteps."

Draco already knows what he is thinking, but Granger doesn't seem to be following. "We send
them back with the countercurse and some of our memories."

Theo nods his head, and Granger pushes off the table in front of him, beginning to pace. He
realizes her bush of curls is still wet and waves his wand to dry them.

"That way, they have proof and help from the very beginning. And we could set up your floo to
communicate with them once they allow us to know where they are. It is brilliant!"

She turns back towards them and claps her hands in front of her. She walks over to the table, pulls
out a piece of parchment and a quill, and sits down next to his chair on the floor.

"Okay, so what memories do you think we should send? I think we should send them some from
when you found me, Theo. And the discussion before the first spectacle."

The three of them compile a pretty impressive list of memories to send along with the countercurse
potion he had created. It would be tough to argue against all of it. And if Minerva was still a part of
The Order, they might stand a fighting chance of being taken seriously. If he handled one small
aspect of her perceived belief about him.

"Merlin's saggy left tit. You guys should all be happy you are only children. Having siblings
sucks." The redhead saunters into the kitchen and plops down next to Granger. "I know this is
probably wrong to say after talking my brother down from drinking, but I need a fucking drink.
What are you guys working on?"

Granger holds up the paper and lets her look over the list they created. "We believe if we send this
assortment of memories back to The Order along with the countercurse potion, they will believe us.
And agree to use us as inside sources for them."

The other Gryffindor nods her head and takes the paper out of her hands to look closer. "Do any of
these show how horrible the noseless git looks?"

Theo barks out a laugh and shakes his head. "Noseless git. I am stealing that one. And yes,
between the memory of the first spectacle and the second, you can see a difference."

There really was. Draco hadn't spent a lot of time in the Dark Lord's presence ever since his family
fell out of his good graces back after the Battle of Hogwarts, but in the last two months, he noticed
the decomposition that seemed to be their evil ruler.

"Then this will work. It could even help us get more support and reinforcements. Ron and I need to
make contact today at some point before they categorize us as missing in action and spread the
news. Any ideas on how we should do that?"

"Well, if you tell us where the safe house is, Theo or Malfoy could apparate with you there."

The Weaselette shoots Granger a surprised look and then turns her gaze to him and then Theo. She
sizes him up before pointing at his friend and tipping her head.

"It'll have to be Teddy. After what ferret did to Luna, he would be taken as a prisoner on the spot
before I could even explain. Is his mind safe too?"

Granger nods, and Red stands up and moves in front of Theo, holding out her hand. "Okay, Teddy,
field trip time!"

Theo looks down at her hand and then to the small space around her that he would not be able to
maneuver without touching her. He feels for his mate as he tries to figure out how to handle the
situation.

He thinks about saying something to the girl about how Theo wouldn't want a Weasley descendant
touching him to excuse his behavior, but before he can, Granger takes her by the arm and moves
her a few steps back, allowing Theo access to slide out from his chair and exit the room.

"What was…"

"You should know a few things about Theo before you go, Ginny. One, he has been through a lot.
Like more than anyone else I know a lot. Two, I love him dearly, so you have to be nice to him. No
more crude drawings on his face and inappropriate remarks, okay? But most importantly, due to
what Theo has been through, he doesn't handle physical contact very well. So restrain from
touching him unless he invites it, okay?"

Weaselette stares at her for a moment, glancing up at the door Theo had left through, before
nodding.

"I agree to everything except for the crude and inappropriate remarks because he may pretend to
hate them, but I can tell he actually likes them. Start packaging up those memories so we can head
out. Ron is in a drunken stupor, so you shouldn't have to worry about the tosser until we get back."
Draco perks up at her words.

Some alone time with Granger? Fuck yes. Time to play dirty again.

Like his witch can read his mind, she looks up and glares at him and shakes her head slightly,
ending those fantasies before they are even allowed to begin.

And for the 24th time since he saw the two redheads moving in the house, he thinks he should have
killed them.
 Theo
Chapter Notes

Buckle up…

"How do you have Harry's invisibility cloak if the two of you broke up?"

Theo looks over at Hermione's question to the two girls packing a similar bag to his own. Only the
bottom half of Ginevra is visible as she does a little jig.

"I stole it." She simply says.

How in Godric's name was the girl sorted into Gryffindor? That hat must be becoming unreliable.

He places another vial full of the blueish tint of one of their memories into the bag before wrapping
them in a towel and zipping it closed. They were giving 17 memories in total. He and Hermione
providing the majority of them, with Draco being a big fussy dragon and only giving four. He
knew that the blonde was very protective of his mind. Who wouldn't be after what he had been
through?

"You stole it! Ginny, it was his fathers! And I am sure he could use it. How could you do that?"

Gingersnap shrugs and bundles the material in her hands. "It was the least I should have done with
how the bastard left me."

Hermione carefully places the large box of countercurse potion and the recipe and instructions into
the bag in front of them. "You know I want the full story of what happened soon, Ginny."

Her friend sighs. "I know. When we get back from changing the tide of this war, I'll tell you."

Draco walks in as Theo slings the bag over his neck and moves to grab the other one, but the ginger
takes it from him and puts it over her shoulder.

"I am quite capable of carrying a bag, Teddy."

Merlin, I hate that nickname. It makes me sound like a child. I may honestly prefer nutsack Nott.

Instead of answering her, he raises his chin and turns to show her a clean right cheek. He watches
her face as it takes in the missing male genitalia and her mouth gapes open.

"How in Merlin's name did you…"

"Oh, it is still there. I just placed a disillusionment spell over it. I happen to be very good at them,
Gingersnap."

The girl scoffs at his decided nickname for her. Because two could play at this game, and in his
opinion, his was better.

"Nott, here." Draco places another memory vial in his hand with a small piece of paper wrapped
around it. Theo moves to hold it up to his face, but his friend covers the vial with his hands and
shakes his head at him. "Don't tell them about this one. Give it to McGonagall and McGonagall
only, okay?"

Well shit, now I really want to know what this memory is.

He places the vial into his inner robe pocket and nods up to Draco. It could be anything, honestly.
The blonde had more secrets than Hogwarts had stairs. He had given very specific, and Theo
assumed, heavily occluded memories to be seen. He gave the memory of Luna's death, of
practicing the curse on Theo, of creating false leads for the scouting unit, and also the memory of
finding Ron and Ginevra (without the confessions of wanting to kill them, of course).

All of these would make it seem like he could be trusted, yet none of them showed the real reason
why because the bloke still refused to show the one person who needed to know that information
the most.

"Okay, so we shouldn't be more than four hours. Hopefully, Teddy's face will pop back in soon
through the floo to assure everyone the connection has been allowed. We will then communicate
through there, so be ready. I am sure Kingsley will want to talk to both of you."

This was about to be an experience. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would ever be
going with THE Ginevra Weasley to connect with the leading members of the fucking Order. They
were doing this. They were really becoming traitors to their parents' cause.

And I feel better than I have in a very long time.

"And if it starts going to hell, get out of there by any means necessary, Nott."

He looks up at Draco, who is waiting for him to agree. He knows the man is furious with
Hermione's cause. He knows he didn't care at all for any of them whatsoever and would probably
turn his back on all of them if it ensured her safety. They were lucky they were the best option.
Because that is all they were to him, the best option to ensure her survival.

He nods his head, and he hears Ginevra grunt at the blonde, shoving him with her shoulder before
starting out of the room.

"Don't worry, ferret. I'll protect Teddy as long as you promise not to kill my brother while I'm
gone."

"No promises, Weaselette."

"Oh hush, Malfoy! Ron will be fine Ginny, but please, don't let them mistreat Theo. Vouch for
him, okay?"

Ginevra turns around and salutes Hermione at the door leaving his rooms. "Aye aye, captain."

Captain…

'Would the captain like my services for the evening?'

Oh shit…

Theo boy, get your head out of your arse right now.

Theo shakes his head to disband the thoughts, hoping it hides how those words seemed to affect
him.

The redhead opens up Harry's invisibility cloak and wraps it around herself, disappearing.

"Damn, that's cool." He says.

He has always been interested in the item, but they were extremely hard to find. He had been
looking to purchase one for a very long time but never found one that wasn't a scam or too old to
work properly anymore.

"I'll let you try it out sometime, Teddy, but let's get going. See you guys in a bit."

The door opens, and he can only assume the girl has walked out into the hallway. Theo moves to
follow.

"Be safe, Theo. I love you."

He doesn't look back but smiles as he moves to close the door behind him.

"Love you too, Hermione."

He shuts the door, pulling out his wand to cast the detection spell. Thankfully no one is in the
house. It was about a five-minute walk to the front gates, so hopefully, it stays that way.

"Damn, I never thought Hermione Granger would be the one to end up in a throuple."

He jumps at the closeness of her voice. This was going to take some getting used to. He liked being
able to see the possible obstacles and issues in front of him, and now the threat was invisible. The
woman was dangerous enough when he could see her.

"We aren't whatever that word means. Hermione and I are just friends."

He hears a pair of footsteps and looks over to see nothing, but he knows she is there. He is sure
Hermione already warned her to back off a bit.

"Oh, so the ferret is the only one shagging her?"

He stumbles over his feet.

Shit… well, if that didn't prove to the Gingersnap she was right…

He tries to keep his face blank as he walks down the stairs to the main foyer. He knew Hermione
didn't want them to know just yet. He also knew it was driving Draco mad. But both of them were
doing a horrible job of hiding it when around each other. Draco was fucking peacocking all
morning, and Hermione had been ogling like an animal in heat.

"Not going to comment? That's fine. I have put two and two together on my own. I'm sure
Hermione will come out and tell me sometime soon. Plus, I am not the one to worry about in that
department. She is an adult, and she can shag whoever she wants in my opinion, and the ferret is
fit. The biggest prick I have ever met but still attractive. I don't blame her for shagging that."

He opens the front door and holds it out for her invisible self to hopefully walk through. "Their
situation is a bit confusing. How do you think your brother is going to take it?"

He hears her let out a humorless laugh as they walk down the drive.

"Like he handles every time another bloke is interested in Hermione, like an absolute git. The
blimey idiot never grows the bollocks to tell her how he feels but loves to tell her how to feel. I
honestly think he still struggles with what exactly there is between the two of them. I am sure
being friends forever convolutes everything. Plus, the whole missing memory makes things even
murkier, but I can't believe Malfoy told her."

He honestly couldn't believe that either. Draco never told him that he confessed to seeing what Ron
and Hermione did during the battle. He agrees it was a solid move on the blonde's part, but even
Theo thought his selfishness and possessiveness for the girl would have won out, and he would
have taken what she was willingly giving without relaying that bit of info that could possibly ruin
everything.

I mean, he was choosing to do the exact thing with other aspects.

"He is a much better mate than you give him credit for. There is a lot you all don't know about
what he has done and gone through. He isn't the same person who called her that word, and he has
proven that time and time again to her."

Theo hears the feet next to him stutter in the dirt pathway and stop. He doesn't know where exactly
she is but looks to his right anyways.

"Fuck. They are more than shagging then, huh? Like she may leave my brother for him?"

This isn't for him to talk about. Hermione didn't even want either of them to know until she told
them. Plus, the brilliant evil witch was still struggling to figure that out, or at least admit it to
herself.

"Ask her, Ginevra. But she wanted to tell you in her own time, and with what she has been through,
I think you should give her that control."

The feet start walking again, and he walks behind them towards the coming gate.

"Fair enough. Sorry for how I acted to you when we first came, by the way. It is very obvious to
see that you care about her. I am sure having to do what you did that first spectacle was really hard
for you."

He scoffs.

Try set me back years of healing and made new forks for me that I am really struggling to give up.

"It was horrible, to say the least."

He is thankful Hermione took the time to tell that story to her before they did this together. The fact
that there were people out there who saw what he did to her, and believed it was something he
wanted to do, made him want to curl up in bed and ward the door shut.

"Is that why you don't do physical touch? Don't be mad; Hermione just warned me of it, and to be
honest, it is a nice change of pace coming from a very abrasive family, so no judgment from me at
all."

Theo looks ahead. His breathing starts to become more challenging as he processes her question.
All the thoughts he always had when having to talk to someone about who he truly was start
overpowering him. How honest should he be? How much would she be able to handle? Were they
close enough to have this conversation? Did she really care, or was she just asking to fill time?
How should he word this to make it the most approachable, not shocking, and make her not cry or
walk away from him?

Take a risk, Theo boy… It isn't like you will have to witness her reaction anyways.

"My father was abusive growing up. Well, still is, if I'm being honest, but I am much better at
staying out of his way. I never really had any good interaction with contact from other people, and
then, add the fact that the last time I did touch someone, I was the one destroying. It's just easier
not to."

The feet next to him continue without faltering. He doesn't hear the sound of sniffles or crying.
Maybe she would be one of those people who pretended he didn't speak in the first place.

"So, what? You are never going to touch another person again? Damn Teddy, that's not the way to
live. You know she doesn't blame you, right? She talks about you like you placed the sun in the
sky."

"I know, but I blame myself. And it has worked for 19 years."

Like she had any idea how hard it was to live with doing something so horrible to someone you
care about.

"Well, Teddy, welcome to the club then."

Theo looks over, confused, even though he can't see her. "What club?"

"The: I Have Had to do Horrible Things to Hermione to Keep Her Alive Club. Still working on a
better name. Your big blonde of a best friend is in it too. Along with my brother. But I am the
minister, of course. You know, since I was the one to obliviate her and then leave her to be
captured by that psycho who abused her for six months."

Did she seriously just admit that? He stops in his tracks right in front of the gate. Theo had the
suspicion that she was the one to do it, as he is sure Draco did as well, but he didn't expect her to
admit it right now so flippantly.

"So yeah, Teddy, trust me. I get trying to live with yourself after doing something horrible to
someone you care about. I fucking get it, but that doesn't stop me from still loving her or living."

"You were the one to obliviate her? Why?"

He waves his wand and opens the gate. He seals it behind them and walks the few extra steps past
the wards so they can apparate. She was going to apparate them, and Theo was only about 70%
sure the woman didn't plan on taking him somewhere, never to be seen again.

"That, my friend is the million galleon question, isn't it? Now put your hood up, and when we get
there, stay behind me and don't talk. Let me do all the explaining, okay?"

Theo rolls his eyes as she once again avoids answering his question and does as she instructed.

"Okay, I am going to touch you now. I'll try to hold on to the robe material on your arm, but I can't
promise it'll stay that way during the apparition. I am shit at side by side."

He feels her hand pressure against his arm and his entire body tenses at the contact.

"Okay. Here we go."

Theo feels his stomach tug and then the twisting and slightly nauseating sensation of being pulled
with her through the space. His feet fall out from underneath him as he flips.

I knew this Gingersnap was going to be the death of me.

He lands on his back on something extremely bumpy but much softer than usual. Theo opens his
eyes and sees the grayish cloud-filled sky above him as the world stops spinning and his head stops
hurting.

"Fuck…"

"Not in this position, Teddy. I don't think it would be possible unless you spin around. Plus, you
are surprisingly much heavier than you look, so if you wouldn't mind kindly getting off of me, that
would be just cheeky."

Well, it's no wonder that the ground is much softer than he thinks it should be. Now that he is
aware, he feels her hair wrapped around his neck and can see a few strands lying against his robes.
He tries to brace himself with his hands and feet to ensure he doesn't push off with all his weight
onto her.

"Sorry."

"Eh, it was probably my fault anyway. Like I said, I'm shit at side by side."
Theo stands up and brushes his robes off as he takes in the new environment. They are in the
backyard of what looks to be a house destroyed by a fire. The whole wall facing them is
completely gone and charred that he can see the floor plan of most of the building.

"Now you understand why I am in no hurry to leave your lush accommodations, huh?"

She walks forward, and he follows her closer to the structure.

"This can't be where you have been staying. How the hell could anyone stay…"

The ginger grabs his robe arm again as she presses past a large wall of wards that begin to go off at
his presence.

"Bundle up, Teddy. Here we go."

He looks up to see the same structure, but not burnt to the ground as it appeared outside the wards.
Instead, it looks abandoned. Still not anywhere Theo would classify as livable, but much better
than the illusion.

"Shit, my parents aren't here. Okay, Teddy, plan B. And just warning, I'm going to have to touch
you again if you want to live."

Well, that isn't very reassuring.

Before he has time to answer, the woman wraps the invisibility cloak around him and grabs him by
the arm, pulling him directly against her back.

"Don't move or take that off until I tell you to."

He opens the cloak slightly and looks down. He doesn't see his body.

Shit, this is cool. I have to get one.

He closes the cloak back up as people start appearing.

"Ginny! Ginny, you're alive! Where have you been? Get inside! The detection spells were just
activated, and Shackle…"

"Neville, tell Kingsley I need to see him right now. I have a Death Eater."

A pause.

"What? You brought, you captured? Blimey Gin. Where is it?"

"Neville, Kingsley now."

A small part of him is convinced he just fell for a trap. That she really was about to turn him in.
That he was about to become a prisoner of war.
It'll be the left room all over again.

"Ms. Weasley, what is going on?"

Theo sees a large man come from behind the house. He spots others moving around the two of
them, all with their wands out, ready to attack.

"Hermione wasn't lying, and she is not crazy is what is going on. Nott and Malfoy are helping her,
they helped Ron and me, and now they want to help The Order. I brought Theodore Nott Jr. with
me, along with proof that all I have just said is true in the form of memories to be viewed in the
Pensieve by the leaders of The Order."

Theo glances down at Gingersnap as she lives up to the nickname. The girl meant business, and
when she did, it was hard not to take her seriously as she talked with such confidence and
assurance.

"So lower your fucking wands so I can give you the proof."

Kingsley glares at her and then looks to his left at McGonagall, who is walking over to him.

"Send the proof Ms. Weasley, but stay where you are. Everyone else, continue to protect."

Ginevra grunts out loud and drops the bag to the ground. "Always with the dramatics. Teddy, hand
me your bag."

He takes the bag off, and she reaches through the cloak and grabs it. She raises her wand and
levitates the bags to Kingsley.

"I would start with the memory labeled number one, and then work in order. It will prove the
contents of the other bag that is a countercurse potion Draco Malfoy made to protect anyone from
the curse he created."

Theo hears murmurs begin from the other members around them. Some sound surprised, while
others sound unbelieving.

"Minerva, do not allow her to move until I instruct otherwise." Kingsley takes both of the bags into
his arms and calls for another man Theo doesn't know to follow him into the house.

"Ms. Weasley, where have you been, and where is your brother? When you didn't show up after the
mission, your parents began a search for you both. Mr. Longbottom, please go inform the
Weasley's that their children have been found."

Theo sees a much taller and older-looking Neville work his way to the house and duck in.

"We are safe. And… well, I think Ron is safe, but with him and the ferret stuck in a confined
space, that can't be assured for too long, so if we could speed up the procedures, that would be
grand."

Their old headmistress doesn't say anything back to her, and Ginevra rolls her eyes and turns back
to his invisible body.

"You can take that off now."

"I don't want to."

I like being invisible.

It makes this moment so much easier to know that no one is looking at him. No one can see him,
touch him, or know what he is thinking because of his facial expressions. No one can use him in
any way like this.

"How much to buy this off of you?"

Ginevra's mouth drops open, and she gets a flush on her chest. Did he just surprise the Gingersnap?
Now that was an accomplishment.

"Not for sale, Teddy."

"5,000 galleons?"

Her flush travels up into her cheeks and ears as she shakes her head vehemently and starts
laughing. "Did you seriously just say '5,000 galleons' like it is nothing? Merlin's tits, Teddy… No,
it is not for sale."

"8,000 galleons?"

"It is priceless. How about this, you can borrow it with my permission whenever you want for free,
sound fair?"

Hell yes!

He smiles and begins to nod his head before he remembers the woman can't see him.

"Sounds good to me. I want to continue to borrow it right now. It is helping me not take off due to
the fear that this is all an elaborate setup by you."

She lets out a laugh and looks through his chest, where she must believe he is standing. "I don't
blame you for the thought, but I promise you, I am not."

They both hear a noise behind them and look up to see Kingsley and the man walk back out from
the side door of the safe house.

Kingsley looks over the ginger in front of him like he sees her as a challenge. Theo is not a fan of
the look.

Maybe we shouldn't trust them either.

The large man takes a step into the field toward them, and Theo grabs Ginevra's shoulder and pulls
her back behind him as he raises his wand. He feels the threat the man's presence is making. He
decides he doesn't trust him. And usually, Theo was very good at judging someone's character.

"Teddy wha…."

"I have a bad feeling about him, Ginevra, and usually, I am right."

"I am not disagreeing with you, but trust me, I can handle him." She whispers the words and moves
closer to his side so he can hear her, accidentally bumping into the side of his cheek.

"Ms. Weasley, Mr. Nott, you have provided some extremely surprising while valuable information.
If you wouldn't mind following me, please."

Oh yeah, sure mate. Let me just enter into an enclosed space with a bunch of people who want me
dead. Hell no.

"Not making it that easy on you, Kingsley, but nice try. Minerva and my parents need to see the
memories before I step one foot closer."

The large man lets out a huff and rubs his face in frustration. "Ms. Weasley, I can assure you
that…"

"Her parents are here, Kingsley. We shall make use of the Pensieve and be down following what
we see. Ms. Weasley, Mr. Nott, wherever you are, give me a few moments."

Minerva gives Ginevra a knowing nod before walking into the house after Neville.

The woman stretches her arms above her head and sits on the ground, raising her chin up at the
murky sky like the sun is shining brightly.

"Beautiful day, isn't it, Kingsley?"

"I don't appreciate your lack of respect, Ms. Weasley. Please remember who I am the next time, or
there will be consequences."

Okay, yeah, like I said before, I really don't like him.

She gives him a thumbs up, but as he turns back to the house, she twists her hand and shoots him
her middle finger. Theo can't help but laugh.

Merlin, she was stupidly fearless. Maybe she did belong in Gryffindor.

Theo sits down next to her, and they wait for a while before he hears a loud voice screaming her
name before he sees the person it is coming from.

"Ginevra Weasley! You and your brother are going to turn your father and I into grey-haired adults
before we reach 70 with your dramatics and callousness!"
A short, stocky woman comes bounding out the door, followed by a tall, lanky man who doesn't
have much hair to worry about turning grey in Theo's opinion.

"Get over here now and bring that fellow with you. We need to talk about why you haven't brought
our Hermione back to us."

The ginger next to him rolls her eyes and moves to stand up. She holds out her hand to him, but
Theo stands without taking it. "Like I said earlier, Teddy, no talking unless I tell you to. And I need
the cloak back now."

He reluctantly shrugs it off and hands it to her. She looks him up and down for a long time before
meeting his eyes and nodding.

"Okay, let's go. I'm actually happy you knew how to make that drawing disappear. My mum would
have my head if she saw what I did to you."

"Well then, I like your mother."

She giggles and walks through the high grass towards the group of people forming to greet her.

Shit… I want the cloak back.

His lungs start taking in shallow breaths as they climb up the small hill. He recognizes a few faces
but can see no recognition in theirs. He wasn't popular in school. Basically no one knew who he
was except for those in his own house, and there was no Slytherins present at the moment.

"Breathe, Teddy. I got your back."

He nods his head as his vision begins to become blurry. Merlin, what was he doing? What made
him ever think he could handle this? Shit, he should have fought for Draco to come. He is sure he
would have survived this. They wouldn't have killed him on the spot, right? They didn't even use
the Killing Curse for Merlin's sake.

The stocky woman moves forward from the crowd and traps Gingersnap in her arms, squeezing
until a painful noise leaves the woman's mouth.

Dear Godric… fucking torture me before doing that.

"I'm fine, mum. And so is Ron, but we need to get things moving before…"

"Oh, hush up, you stupid, stupid girl. Your father and I have been in a state of panic for hours,
thinking we lost more of our children. So you just stand here and let me envelop you before I
whack you upside the head."

They stand there, Ginevra getting the life squeezed out of her until McGonagall comes beside them
and rests her hand on the stocky woman's arm.

"Let us move this into the conference room, Molly. A lot needs to be discussed."
The woman finally lets go, nodding her head and wiping the tears from her face before moving
back into her husband's arms. The group starts working their way through the open door; he and
Ginevra are last.

She looks back at him and jerks her head to the crowd. "Told you abrasive. Come on, stay close to
my back."

She walks, and he follows her into the so-called house. It really is a mess. He thinks the prisoners
in Azkaban may have better accommodations than The Order was able to provide their members.
No wonder they were having trouble recruiting people.

McGonagall is standing to the side in the hallway, letting others pass until he and Ginevra are in
front of her. She nods her head in acknowledgment at him. She was probably the only one here
who knew who he was.

"Mr. Nott, I am so relieved to see you in good health. How are our other Slytherins? Mr. Zabini,
Ms. Parkinson, Ms. Greengrass, Mr. Flint?"

"Flint's given himself to the Dark Lord, but the others are all just trying to survive one day at a time
prof… ugh I mean ma'am."

The woman looks saddened at his words and shakes her head in acknowledgment. "Well, I want to
assure you that I watched every memory and will be defending you both during these proceedings.
Everything will be just fine, Mr. Nott."

Ginevra starts to move forward again. He watches to make sure she isn't looking before slipping
his hand into his robes and pulling out the vial Draco gave him.

"This is from Draco. He said to give it to you and only you." He whispers as he places the vial into
her hands. She looks down at it for a moment before sliding it into her robes. "I will watch it as
soon I gain the opportunity."

Theo turns to follow the quick girl in front of him. Somehow she had made her way around a
corner before he could catch up to her.

He doesn't want her out of his sight. Hermione would never forgive him if something happened.
He follows her down another hallway until they reach a room with a large old dining set.

He knows it is from the 17th century as soon as he sees it. It isn't a collector's piece or valuable, but
Theo feels his annoyance at the group grow as he sees the state of care the product is in. No one
was polishing it regularly. No one was buffering or making sure the legs were covered in a scratch-
repellent charm.

No class… no class at all.

You have to take care of the precious items you own if you want them to last…

"Only those who have seen the memories or are high ranking members are allowed in the
following proceedings. Everyone else, please continue with what you were before."

The woman in front of him leads him to two available chairs and sits down next to the one he
takes. As he rests his hands on top of the scratched and ruined wood, he can see his hands are
shaking.

Breathe in…1 Breathe out… 2.

"Teddy."

He opens his eyes as a calming draught rolls in front of him.

"The ferret gave me a few before we left."

Merlin Draco, sometimes I love you mate.

He takes off the top and swallows the contents. It becomes easier to breathe almost instantly.

"Okay, so why are you here, Mr. Nott?"

Theo's head shoots up to the man at the end of the table that makes him want to run out of the
room. They were addressing him? Why him? Why at the very get go were they questioning him?
Had they watched everything they sent?

Ginevra leans forward in challenge. "What kind of question is that? You saw the memories. You
saw how he and Malfoy saved us, saved Hermione, and have been helping her for months. You
saw the plan we think we should go through with their help. So how about we ask actual questions
that need to be answered, yeah?"

Does the woman have a death wish? He should have sat in the seat between her and the rest of
them if she was going to be on the offense like this.

"So you truly long to be sources for The Order, Mr. Nott?"

Bloody hell, why is he focusing on me?

Theo glares at the man who he was growing to dislike more and more and nods his head.

"Care to say that under a dose of veritaserum?"

At this, Ginevra stands up and leans onto the tabletop. "Fuck no, Kingsley! We are not doing that
to him. I vouch for him. They give you their memories, a glimpse into their own damn heads. They
hand us the answer to the curse problem. They are helping one of the most valuable members we
have. And they saved my brother and me. He has done enough. He doesn't need to…"

"Yes."
Gingersnap glares at him, and he just shrugs his shoulders at her. He wanted all this to end as soon
as possible. Whatever he had to do to make that happen, he would agree to it. He had nothing to
hide. Maybe that is why Draco didn't argue to come. Because he saw this happening. And Theo
knew he had way too many secrets to ever agree to something like this.

"Thank you, Mr. Nott. Your agreeable demeanor is appreciated."

The man next to him procures a small cup and pours the potion into it.

The cup is handed to Theo, and he swallows it without looking at the woman next to him that he
feels branding him with her hazel eyes.

"If you ask him anything I deem inappropriate, I am placing a silencing charm around him
immediately, Kingsley, so don't push your luck."

Damn, being friends with Hermione has its benefits. Like having protection from others who cared
about her wants.

"Noted, Ms. Weasley. So, Mr. Nott, you want to help The Order?"

Thank fuck Draco didn't come. This would have gone bad.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I want to save Hermione and the others I care about."

"Then why did you ever get the Dark Mark in the first place?"

"Kingsley, I fucking warned…"

"It's okay, Ginevra." He looks down at her and smiles. This isn't a question he minded answering.

"I was forced to get the Dark Mark by my father. It was either that, or he killed me. It was not
something I ever wanted. Draco, Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne were placed in similar situations."

They all just stare at him for a moment. The following person to ask a question is McGonagall, and
he already feels more relaxed as he sees her begin to speak.

"Would you mind sharing your plan with us, Mr. Nott? You have always been a brilliant young
man."

He looks down at his hands in his lap. Feeling uncomfortable at the praise. He liked it but hated
how it made him feel at the same time.

"Well, we are expecting you all to help a little bit at least, but we plan to get the sword, kill the
noseless git..." He looks over at Ginevra, who smiles, and shoots him a wink as he uses her phrase
for the Dark Lord that he decided would be how he addressed him in his head from now on. "By
killing his snake. And then hopefully, your cause can take care of the rest of the army and their
workings."

"And you have no idea what the Dark Lord has in store for Ms. Granger?"

Theo shakes his head. "No, we are trying to figure that out currently but have yet to find the
answer. Do you have any idea?"

He can feel the potion wearing off as his need to speak the truth lessens.

"We do not, I am sorry to say," Kingsley says.

Theo jumps as the woman next to him slams her hands down on the table.

"Okay, moving on. We are here to set up communication with them at Nott Manor using Teddy's
floo system. And if it isn't set up soon, we all will have an aggravated Hermione Granger on our
hands. They are waiting to talk to all of us. Are we allowed to set it up or not?"

No one talks for a few moments, and the two men at the end of the table look at each other for a
while before McGonagall pipes up.

"Kingsley, the young man has proven his loyalties, and we know now that Hermione and Ginevra
can be trusted. This could be exactly what we need."

With nothing but a slight nod of his head, Ginevra rises from her chair, and he follows her to the
fireplace in the center of the room. He had never given anyone outside of the small group of
Slytherins access to his floo system. And even though he was only opening it to the possibility of
communication, it still left him with an uneasy feeling in his gut.

That was his sanctuary, the only place he actually felt at peace. And now this fucking war was
taking that from him too.

He bends down and pulls out his wand to recite the spell needed to connect the floo to his. He had
opened his for communication before he left the house, and had instructed Draco to watch it like a
hawk. There was a very slim chance anyone would try to access it due to his floo never being
opened, but he wouldn't take that chance. Especially with an obsessed sociopath like Dolohov out
to get Hermione.

He feels his magic move and lock into place.

Ginevra takes a handful of powder and throws it into the fireplace. A few moments go by before he
sees Hermione's face appear in the flames.

"Theo, are you okay?"

The evil witch.

A smile breaks across his face as she asks about his well-being.

"I have taken good care of our Teddy, Hermione. Just like I promised. Now there are some others
who want to say hi."
She gestures for him to move out of the way, and Theo watches as a line forms in front of the
fireplace. Everyone is either crying or laughing or smiling out of control as they look at the woman
in the fireplace.

She really is priceless, isn't she Draco?

They ask her all sorts of things. And she answers them all in her caring and vulnerable way that just
was the brunette. Kingsley is the last to stand before her.

"It is great to see you again, Ms. Granger. We here at The Order are happy to see you finally safe."

"No thanks to you."

The man's fake smile falters for a moment before he plasters a face of indifference and control at
her words.

Yeah, I am sticking with my first impression of you…

"Yes well, as I am sure Mr. Weasley told you, you were always a priority for us, but we have been
dealing with a lot as of late, and the timing was never right."

The brunette doesn't answer him, but he swears he hears a loud humorless laugh that sounds very
similar to the blonde.

"Is Mr. Malfoy with you?"

Instead of answering, Hermione moves over, and Draco's face appears next to hers.

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Nott has assured us of your loyalties to destroy He Who Must Not Be Named.
They have also informed us of your tentative plans to acquire the sword of Gryffindor. What can
we do to help with this task?"

"Stay out of our… ouch, fuck Granger! You broke skin with that heel!"

The brunette shoves him out of view and glares to her left. "Sorry. What he means is it would be
helpful for you to share any information you have on the operations of Hogwarts."

Kingsley nods his head, and gestures towards a man near the door who moves out of the room.
"We will send everything we have back with Mr. Nott. Unless you are planning to come back with
Ms. Weasley?"

"No. I have to stay for now."

"And I am staying with them too."

Theo jerks his head to the left at the Gingersnap. That is news to him. She hadn't said anything
before they had left.
Did she seriously just invite herself to move in with us? Yeah, she is definitely a Gryffindor.

"And before you argue mum and dad, Teddy's place is extremely safe. Probably safer than being
here. Plus, they will need as much help as they can get."

Her parents stare at her before nodding and resigning to the will of one of the most stubborn
women Theo has ever met. She may even have Hermione beat.

"So you believe us, Kingsley? You believe me?"

He takes a little too long to answer Hermione's question. A telling long time. A space in time that
showed the man was hiding something.

"Yes, we believe you, Ms. Granger. We will hold another meeting with all the head members of
The Order in a few days to discuss with you all in person how you can be of service to our cause
and to talk further about your tentative plan to retrieve the sword."

Theo hears a noise and sees McGonagall slipping back in through the door. She looks directly at
him and nods her head slightly, and Theo knows she must have gone and watched whatever Draco
sent.

"We will keep this floo system open to communicate further in the future. Thank you for your
continued service to the cause Ms. Granger. You truly are an invaluable asset to The Order."

He hears Draco scoff again, and sees Hermione's face falter before she smiles and thanks him in
return.

"Now Theo, Ginny, please get back here soon."

"On our way." Ginevra nods at him, and he breaks the connection. He was eager to get out of here.
"I am going to go grab mine and Ron's stuff."

She moves to give her parents a hug.

"Floo us every other day Ginny. You hear me? Every other day."

"Ugh, yes mother."

She wiggles out of her grasp and gestures for him to follow her. She climbs up a pair of steps he
questions whether they will hold his weight, and when he sees two that have been broken, he stops
and plasters himself to the side of the wall farthest away from the broken wood and leaps over the
space.

"Ron fell through those a couple weeks ago."

No wonder the woman wants to stay with us…

The thoughts are only reinforced when she opens the door to a small room with no window with a
cot, and trunk of belongings that are unceremoniously open with its contents spread across the
room.

Merlin, Gingersnap is messy.

"I'm just grabbing a few pieces of clothing as Hermione's are a bit short on me, and then just need
to run by Ron's room before we leave."

"Do you need any help?"

Please say no. I feel like if I touch anything in this place, I will wake up with some rash all over my
body.

"Nope. Done, let's go."

The woman has a total of maybe 12 things in her hands that she stuffs into one of the bags Kingsley
gave them. Theo had more items on his fireplace mantle.

"That's all you're taking?" He points to the bag as she throws in a worn shirt.

"Yeah, I don't need much."

He follows her out of the room and goes down two doors to where Ron must have been staying.
The room is in similar disarray.

Okay, maybe it is a family thing. I will not tolerate this in my house, though. I'll need to have a talk
with both of them later.

"Blimey Ron, such a pig."

Theo raises his eyebrows and scans the room for any difference from the one they had just left. He
can't find any.

The redhead searches through a pile of clothing and pulls out a couple pieces. She holds up, what
looks to be a sock, and then screams and throws it across the room.

And that is why you do that in the shower, Ronald Weasley.

"You know we can get you new clothes? Pans has a bit of an addiction."

She stuffs the items into the bag.

"The Order doesn't really provide the greatest salary. Five-star accommodations, as you can tell,
but the hourly rate is shit."

He laughs down at her, moves to take the bag before she protests, and goes all 'I can carry the
damn thing' on him. Like he had no bloody idea she had the capability on her own.

"Oh yes. The sacrifice you are making by moving in with me deserves a raise, no doubt. And I'd
buy them for you, Ginevra. Just let me borrow your cloak every once and a while, and we will call
it even."

"I have always wanted a sugar daddy. Sounds like a sweet plan to me, Teddy."

What the hell is a sugar daddy? I'll have to look that up later.

Since he has no idea what the witch is talking about, he just smiles and nods his head, which gets
him a hearty laugh in return as she walks out of the room.

They are met with their old headmistress waiting for them in the hallway.

"Mr. Nott, do you know what was shown in the vial you gave me?"

He sees Ginevra glance at him, but he keeps his eyes on the older witch.

Shit, I never thought you would be the one to rat me out, professor.

"Ugh, no ma'am. Draco said it was for your eyes only."

She watches his face for some tell that he may be lying but nods after a few moments.

"Well, please inform Mr. Malfoy that… That I finally do understand."

Theo gulps loudly at the cryptic message before agreeing and moving to follow Ginevra.

"Going to tell me what that was about?"

Theo shrugs and follows her out the door of the house. He takes in a large breath of the fresh air,
realizing just then how heavy and musty the air had been inside that building.

"Not for me to tell. Something Draco needed me to do. Honestly, I couldn't tell you even if I
wanted to."

"That bleached ferret and his fucking secrets."

She grabs onto his robes and pulls him through the wards. He would be apparating them back to
the manor to ensure they landed in a hidden area. Just in case the house wasn't empty.

He looks at the girl waiting for him to take them.

"Ugh… where would be okay for me to… touch you?"

Her face makes a weird scrunch-like form before softening and smiling at him.

"Merlin, you are easy to like, aren't you, Teddy? You also provide perfect opportunities for me to
make you squirm, so I deserve a fucking medal for not taking advantage and saying the three very
inappropriate responses that I have to what you just asked me."

She takes a step closer to him, and Theo feels his blood start to pump faster as she continues to look
at him while encroaching on his personal space. She holds out her arm in the air between them.

"Are you any better at side by side?"

Theo shrugs. "Honestly, no. The last time I apparated with others was when you were unconscious.
Your brother ended up in a bush, and you faced-first on the ground."

She moves her hand to her little freckled-covered nose. "That is why my nose hurts so damn bad!"

"Sorry. It wasn't on purpose. I can heal it when we get back if you want."

She gives him another puzzling expression. "I thought you didn't do physical touch? How do you
heal people without touching them?"

Theo moves the bag over onto his other shoulder. "Healing is an exception."

He tentatively wraps his hands around her upper arm, feeling her solid and lean muscles
underneath.

"Yeah well, how about apparition becomes an exception too? I really don't feel like ending up in
some bush or breaking my nose."

She holds out her hand to him as he lets go of her arm. He stares at it. The last time he held hands,
well actually, the only time he ever held hands with someone was with Hermione when she had
that horrible switch. He remembers how he didn't mind it. Maybe because Ginevra was not
someone he had beaten the shit out of, it wouldn't send him into a bloody mess.

Be brave, Theo boy…

He reaches out and cups her hand in his. It looks wrong. How had he done it before?

He hears her laugh softly.

"Like this, Teddy."

She moves her hand, threads her long skinny fingers through his, and squeezes them together.

She lets him stand there, staring at their interlocked digits. It didn't feel weird or uncomfortable.
Her hand wasn't sweaty but soft and bony. It seemed to mesh between the empty spaces between
his fingers like they were supposed to. Like the space was created for this purpose.

I like this.
This is nice.

I am touching someone and not overwhelmed with the feeling of dying.

Sweet.

"Do you need me to let go?"

He blinks. "No. I… no. This is okay. I feel fine. Thanks, though."

He looks up and sees that same soft smile. He appreciated that she didn't look at him like some
freak or weirdo like so many others did. She was very understanding in a 'you will be the butt of a
joke or two, but it is all in good fun' kind of way.

"Okay, ready?"

She nods. "Ready."

He apparates them back, picturing the area behind the rock as he feels that tug on his stomach. The
hand fitting into his grabs tighter, and he feels himself do the same, even pulling her closer as the
tug becomes more powerful, and he feels the space between them grow.

The world stops spinning, and he looks over to see her hand still in his as they are both bent over,
trying to ground themselves.

"Well, you are definitely better at that than I am."

She unlocks their hands and pulls back her hair from her face. He casts a detection spell over the
wards and finds the house empty again. When he looks back to where the girl had been standing,
she is already gone.

Damn, that is never going to be uncool.

"Lead the way, Teddy."

As soon as they enter his rooms, Hermione is on both of them.

"How did it go? Tensions seemed to be running high when you flooed us."

The ginger shrugs the cloak off, and Theo places the bag on the floor. He looks up and gives
Draco a nod that he knows he will understand as a mission accomplished kind of gesture.

"Kingsley was a downright fucker, but I expected that. They made him take veritaserum, but our
Teddy is one genuine bloke, so it wasn't a problem. The information they sent us about Hogwarts
is in the bag ferret."

Draco bends down and unzips the bag, huffing annoyingly at the fact he has to sort through their
disheveled and bleak-looking laundry to get to their invaluable resources.

"Is my brother still out?"

Hermione nods her head and starts helping Ginevra sort through the pieces of clothing she brought.

"Good, he should be up soon if I put the right dose of dreamless sleep in his mead."

All three of them look up at the girl, who begins to sort her socks together.

"Ginny, you didn't."

"What? Of course I did! I knew the bastard wouldn't listen to me, so it is what he deserves."

Theo shakes his head and walks out of the room to the library. He looks in the small basket next to
the settee that Pansy always placed her witch weekly and ordering catalogs in and takes three from
the top of the pile.

The girl deserves it after living in those conditions for months.

He walks into Hermione's room, where the women are placing the faded and worn shirts and
trousers onto hangers on her side of the closet.

Theo holds out them out towards her. "Here. Circle anything you like, and I'll have it owled."

The ginger takes the catalogs from him and shoots him a large smile. "This is dangerous, Teddy. I
may run you dry."

He rolls his eyes at the woman. Rather than Draco, his family was one of the richest in the
wizarding world. The girl couldn't run him dry if she tried. He would know. He had a bit of a
spending problem as well.

"Not possible, Gingersnap. I'm ridiculously rich. But feel free to try."

She gives him a salute as she walks out of the closet and plops down on the mattress opening up
the pages.

"Aye aye, captain."

Theo feels his body grow warmer again.

Oh for fuck sakes… I need to get her to stop saying that. Especially to me.

He shakes his head and starts listing off potion ingredients in his mind to calm the blood that starts
rushing to somewhere he has no desire for it to flow to.

"You know... murtlap needs a large amount of elderberry root to create its lasting effects."

He looks up at Hermione, who is almost laughing at him as she shows she is aware of what he is
currently doing.
The evil witch…

"Why couldn't you sleep last night, Hermione? Was it because you were missing your big blo..."

"TRUCE!!" The brunette waves her hands at him laughing, and tentatively sits on the edge of the
mattress and starts looking and pointing at items on the pages Ginevra is circling like a
madwoman.

Draco comes in the doorway and smiles down at Hermione sitting on the mattress before looking
at him and jerking his head down the hall.

They walk into the kitchen, where Theo gets himself a glass of burnt chocolate that Hermione
made in bulk while they were gone.

"Tell me."

He turns and leans against the counter. "That Kingsley bloke sets me off. I wouldn't trust him as far
as I could throw him. Nor that other older bloke who stays next to him."

Theo takes a sip as Draco takes a seat at the table.

"Aberforth. Dumbledore's brother. Good, I am glad we are in agreement with that."

"McGonagall watched what you sent, said she finally understands. Going to tell me what that was
about?"

"No."

Of course not… Ginevra is right, you and your bloody secrets.

"Well, the rest of them seemed okay, and McGonagall promised to stand up for us and speak on
our behalf. I do trust her. And the Weasley group, while being over the top, seemed kind enough
and real."

Draco laughs and leans back in his chair. "They are simple people. What you see is what you get.
So if they seemed real to you, they probably were."

For some reason, Theo feels a bit of agitation at his brother's insult to the family. What the hell is
that about? Since when did he care about the Weasley crew?

Draco pulls the stack of papers on the table towards him and starts flipping through them. "I have a
meeting later today, and I plan on making sure this info is still up to date. They have the schedule
of guards, and the routes of the dementors and werewolves cataloged pretty well, surprisingly. We
will have to find some way in that is a bit more complex than just walking through the front door."

Theo sits in the chair across from him and starts reading over the information The Order had given
them. "I heard Amycus is running the operations there. Maybe you can talk to his sister and see if
she can give us an in."

"She will be at the meeting. I'll give it a try."

Theo scans the hand-drawn map on the large piece of parchment he is holding. It was worse than
back in third year how guarded the castle was.

The list of attendants was less than half of the normal amount of students at the school. But that
was due to only choosing the families that agreed to the Dark Lords' wants.

"So no one has any idea where the sword is being kept?"

Draco shakes his head and presses his fingers into his eyes.

"No, but having a bunch of Gryffindors might help out with that. It will appear for them after their
valor for trying to retrieve it, and due to their so-called need. The damn thing is as pretentious as
the house is itself."

"You're going after the sword of Gryffindor?"

They both look up to see Ronald Weasley glaring at them in the doorway. Draco looks at him for
less than a second before turning his gaze back to the papers in front of him.

Merlin, why do I always have to play peacekeeper?

"Yes. Your sister and I just got back from the safe house and made relations with The Order. They
are in agreement that this is the next step we should take. Draco will make sure all of this info is
current and talk to a few people later today to see if he can find us a way in."

The redhead just stares at him, not blinking. Theo didn't know why the prat seemed to dislike him.
What the hell had he done? He had never talked to the man before in his life. Maybe he was just
hungover, and like Hermione told him a while ago, he did turn into a tosser when he was drunk.

He thought that the bloke would have many questions for them after sleeping for most of the day,
but instead, he turns and walks out of the room without saying another word to either of them.

Draco lets out a long breath. "I should have killed him."

"Oh shut up, Draco. Yeah, he is a bit moody for sure, but Hermione has good taste in people, in my
opinion. I mean, she loves me, so she has to, right? Maybe he gets better the longer you know
him."

"I have known him a very long time, Theo, and the fucker gets worse and worse. Trust me."

Theo is about to respond when he hears Hermione laughing down the hall. The blonde's head
shoots up, and his whole concentration is pulled by the sound.

Draco places the papers he is holding down on the table and begins to rise when they hear her
voice and Ron's coming down the hallway.

"I swear, 'Mione! The furball hates me! I think he still holds third year against me."

Hermione laughs again. "Well, of course he does! You were horrid to him, Ronald! Remember
when you threatened to throw him out the library window for supposedly killing your pet?"

"That doesn't sound like me at all. I think you remember wrong."

"Oh, I most certainly am not Ronald Weasely!"

The sound of skin hitting skin.

"Ouch! Blimey woman, you still hit harder than it looks like you should be able to. Look at this
bruise you gave me this morning? It's almost as big as the shiner you gave me back over Christmas
holiday in fifth year when we snuck out and…"

As their voices travel farther away, Draco stands and starts to walk out of the room.

"What are you doing?"

The blonde doesn't answer. Theo gets up and follows him down the hall and into the library.

Draco pokes his head through the open door before he enters and sits against the back wall that
faces the balcony. The doors are shut, but the large glass panels give a great view of Ron and
Hermione sitting across from each other.

"Draco, what are you doing? You can't hear anything with the…"

His brother reaches in his robes and pulls out what looks to be some type of toy or…

Theo's eyes widen.

"Shit Draco! No, do not turn that on. You are invading her privacy!"

The man looks up at him, shrugs, and switches the extendable ear on. Hermione and Rons voices
become crystal clear. The bastard had already set up the other on the balcony, knowing more than
likely an event like this would happen.

Theo fights internally between whether to sit next to Draco and try to talk some sense into him or
just walk away so he can plead innocent later when the evil witch inevitably finds out.

"This is a bad idea, mate. This is not being the bigger man."

"I don't give a fuck, Theo."

"Hey, what are you… Oh yes! Scoot over, Teddy!"

Theo rolls his eyes at the genuinely terrible two people by his sides as they all sit against the wall,
impeding their friends' privacy. Theo did not like this. He did not like when boundaries were
crossed and not respected.

"Weaselette, if you rat me out. I promise I will make your life hell."

She scoffs and moves her head closer to the ear. "Yeah, so scared there ferret, but don't worry, I
have no intentions of ratting you out. This is what I live for. Teddy got any popcorn?"

"You both are terrible. They obviously want a private moment together. And Draco, after what she
has been through, you should not be doing this."

"Shut up, Nott. I can't hear them."

Theo grunts and leans back against the wall as the two people around him lean forward, angling
their heads to get the best view of Ron moving from his seat to sit next to Hermione on the settee.
Nothing good is going to come from this.

"Bloody hell, I still can't believe you are here in front of me. 'Mione, you have no idea how much I
have missed you."

He grabs her hands in between his, and she allows him but leans back a bit at the intimate gesture.

Theo hears Draco stop breathing.

"I missed you too, Ron. I like the beard, by the way."

Great… 50 galleons Draco is going to wake up with fucking facial hair tomorrow…

"Yeah, you like it?" Ron raises his hand and rubs it through his beard as she smiles and nods.

"So listen, I know I was a right prat yesterday. But you gotta understand that I woke up to see my
best friend, who I thought was dying, alive in front of me. Do you know how many times I dreamt
of that? Do you know how hard it is for me to still convince myself this is real? Even though I can
feel you. And I see that raised freckle you made us take you to the healer about. And I woke up to
one of your hairs on my shirt. It is still hard to believe, yeah?"

Hermione nods her head and wipes away a tear with her shoulder. "Yes… I, I am sorry, Ron."

"Oh, fucking hell…" Draco says as he shakes his head and curls his hands into fists.

"I was just furious with you for doing…. Well, what you did. And then drinking. And then
questioning me. But I shouldn't have hit you. I too, was overwhelmed and wasn't thinking very
clearly."

Ron nods his head and arches closer to her, pulling her into his shoulder, as he rests his arm on the
back of the settee.

"I get it 'Mione. You have been through a lot. Here I have something for you."

The redhead leans across the settee and pulls her large beaded bag over.

"How…"

He must have snuck into my room…

"My bag! You kept my bag!"

The girl lunges forward, crossing one of her legs with his as she holds the bag in her hands in
absolute shock. Ron leans back again and this time, places his arm around the brunette, and moves
closer under the pretense of looking into the bag as well.

"It has been with me ever since we lost you. I don't go anywhere without it."

She flips the top flap, and Theo is startled to see her entire arm disappear into the bag. She starts
pulling out pieces of clothing and other random things that have no meaning or worth that he can
see, but the duo seems to hold every item in high regard.

"This is the coat you were wearing when I came back, and you beat the shit out of me like you did
earlier today..."

"Oh Ron! Look! It's the pot you dented when you were sleepwalking and elbowed it off the
counter and woke us all up..."

"No way! The fourth year sweaters my mum sent were way worse than this one..."

"How did you lose two of the most important pieces to the chess set?.."

"I counted. You have 132 blimey books in this damn bag. And don't think I didn't notice the
untouched appearance of the Quidditch book I got you for your last birthday. If I had to pretend to
read bloody Shake and Spear, you have to at least try to read this…"

"It's Shakespeare, Ron! And you never even opened the book! Do not think I was fooled by that
charm over the latest Witch Weekly..."

"Oh and here, you need to put this on."

Ron grabs a blue hat out of his back pocket. He reaches out and pulls it down over her hair and
onto her head.

"What? Ron no, it isn't that cold out. I do not need a…"

"Just until it smells like you again, yeah? It… it started to stop smelling like your flowery scent."

"Lavender and vanilla, you fucker." Ginevra and he both look over at Draco, who is still glaring at
the discussion taking place through the doors.

Hermione gives him a soft smile and nods her head, pulling down the knit hat farther onto her
head.

"So… You know about… what we… uhm… that we…"

"That we kissed Ron?"

The ginger looks up and gives her a nervous half-smile nodding his head.

"Yes, I know, but… but with not being able to remember, I think it feels less real."

Hermione pulls back and puts some space in between them with the change in the conversation,
and he hears Draco let out a breath.

Ron moves forward into the space she created. "Well, it is real. Very real to me. I can't believe the
ferret told you."

"Why?"
Oh here we go…

"Because… Well, because he is Malfoy, that's bloody why. Don't need more of a reason than that,
do I?"

This was about to get worse. He should try and force Draco to leave. There is no way Hermione
was about to tell Ron that she and Draco had been together. So his friend was about to be hurt even
worse.

"Ron, have you not heard anything your sister and I said over the last day? He saved me. I wouldn't
be here today if it wasn't for him. A lot of things…. wouldn't have happened the way that they did
if it wasn't for him. I know you both don't get along, and I am not asking…"

"Has he touched you?"

All of them freeze.

Hermione stares at Ron. Draco stares at Hermione. And he and Ginevra turn and stare at Draco. All
waiting for how she was going to respond. All waiting to see the change about to take place.

"Ron, why are you asking that?"

"Because the fucker has wanted you for years, Hermione! You always told me I was mental, but I
know what it looks like when a bloke wants a girl, and he wanted you in a sick, and twisted way.
And I… Listen 'Mione if he has… raped you or done things to you that you…"

Hermione holds up a hand to stop his words. "Ron, Malfoy has not raped me. And he would never
do something like that to me. I know it is hard to wrap your mind around, but he has changed
and…"

"Changed? Really 'Mione? You are falling for his little act? Do you not remember the words and
horrible things he used to call you? Because I do. I remember you crying in the stairwell and
holding your hand as you tried to stop and the hiccups took over. I remember you being so angry
you punched the fucker in the face. I remember him sitting in that room as his crazy aunt took a
knife to you. How the hell do you…"

"Ron, stop! There is a lot you don't know about… Listen, I forgave him. I told him I forgave him
sixth year, okay?"

"He's taking advantage of you, Hermione. And you are letting him."

Theo had heard enough. They all needed to get out of here. He grabs Draco's arm to drag the huge
blonde as much as he could, which would not be very far without assistance. Maybe Ginevra would
help him.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Ron lets out a huff of air and moves his hand to cup her neck, and the other goes up to her arm.

Oh shit… My balcony is about to be destroyed again.

Draco pulls his arm out of his grasp and stands up, still never looking away from the scene in front
of him.

"It all is a bit convenient, isn't it? They find you, and then all of a sudden they want to help The
Order? After years of being Death Eaters, they now want to turn when this war could finally end.
When they know if they lose, they will end up in Azkaban for the rest of their lives? It just seems
bloody obvious to me the bastards are trying to play both sides. You don't see that he is trying to
redeem himself through you? You've always had a soft spot for the prick that I honestly don't get
'Mione. And he sees that and is using that. Using you to get himself out of the situation he put
himself into. He is not a good guy Hermione. If Harry was still here, he would agree too, and you
know after everything the two of us saw him do to you and to…"

"Fuck…"

Theo looks over to see a very pale Ginevra staring ahead.

What was her problem? Why did she just say fuck like that?

"Weaselette, tell me the bastard just spoke wrong…"

The woman next to him closes her eyes and drops her head. Theo has no idea what is going on.

"Sorry mates, but I'm lost. What are…"

"What did you just say?"

He turns his attention back to the balcony at Hermione's question.

"I said he is using you to make it look like he is a good guy and…"

"No. You said if Harry was still here."

Ron says nothing back to Hermione.

Goes utterly silent at her words, and it finally hits Theo.

Oh shit…

Harry Potter is dead.

 Hermione
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

He said 'was still here.'

She heard it. She heard it clearly. It is exactly what he said.

Was.

Was.

Was.

Was as in, isn't anymore.

Was.

Another word for gone.

Gone.

Harry is gone.

Harry is dead.

"Uhh… I meant if Harry was here, he would agree. But he's not. Off in Austria I believe, trying to
get support for…"

"Harry is dead."

It's true. She feels it. Deep down somewhere, she knows it is true even before the sentence leaves
her mouth.

It all made horrible and gut-twisting sense.

That is why Ginny obliviated her.

That is why she let them go ahead and stayed back to hold off the Death Eaters until they
apparated.

That is why Ginny talked about him like she has over the last day.

That is why she has his cloak.

That is why Ron wasn't by his side.

That is why The Order hadn't made any moves.

"No, no, he's not. He's just busy. We saw him a little over two months ago while in Germany for
a…"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Ron! You blew it already, may as well live with the consequences now."

Hermione looks up from the tile she was staring at for a very long time and takes a blink, feeling
how dry her eyes have become. Ginny, Malfoy, and Theo walk onto the balcony, and Ginny moves
to sit in the chair in front of her. It's true then. Harry is dead.

Why am I not crying?

I should be bawling right now. I just found out my best friend is dead. I just found out the face of
our cause is gone. I should be devastated. Why am I not crying? I love him. I loved him like family,
and I can't even shed a tear for him? Maybe I am in shock. That has to be it. Yes, I am in utter
shock at the realization that… that he is gone. Harry is gone.

"Harry is dead."

Ginny nods her head, and a tear falls down her cheek as she reaches out for Hermione's hands. "I
was going to tell you today, Hermione. I swear I was. I just… was waiting for the right time, you
know? This… The fact that he… is a closely held secret. Even most of The Order has no idea."

Her voice breaks, and she coughs to try and clear her throat. Hermione keeps staring down at their
hands. It was real, but she didn't feel present anymore. She felt gone. Deep within herself. Like she
would do when Master was using her. Like she would do when the pain became too much. That is
what is happening. It was all too much for her. Her brain had finally checked out, chosen it had
handled enough. Chosen to handle no more.

"So we better be able to trust you snakes because that is single-handedly the most valuable piece of
information this war holds." Ginny glares back at the men staring in surprise.

"But... you said you broke up because of major life differences."

It sounds like Theo is in shock too.

"Yeah, one major life difference. I'm alive, and he's not."

No one responds to Ginny's clipped and hurt-filled words.

"What about the sightings?" Theo asks after a while.

"Polyjuice potion. Right Weaselette? To keep the Dark Lord, and the people you are trying to
persuade to support your Disorder in the dark because no one would fucking support your cause
without the bloody Chosen One."

Ginny sits up straight and hears the threat in Malfoy's voice. "We still have a cause without him!
We can still win because of his sacrifice! But yes, The Order knows that if You Know Who found
out, and knew all the support we lost and can't seem to gather… that…"

"You would be wiped off the face of the world by sunset," Draco says with assurance.

Hermione still feels nothing.

She sees nothing.

Hears nothing anymore.

She goes blank.

Utterly empty.

Void.

Numb.

"Tell me."

Her voice doesn't sound like her. It sounds like it is coming from a faraway place. She feels like
everything is moving in slow motion as she goes fast. Sweat starts seeping from her forehead as she
senses herself going faster, getting bigger, everything else growing smaller and slower.

"Granger, open your mouth."

The cool liquid travels down her throat and into her stomach, and she starts to come back to her
body again slowly. Hermione blinks and sees Malfoy kneeling in front of her, Ron with his head in
his hands, Theo standing eyes wide and staring at them all, and Ginny quietly crying in the seat
across from her.

"I'm here. I'm here."

Malfoy nods and rubs her upper thigh before sitting back on the floor.

"I'll start Gin. I'll… I'll start."

She turns her attention to her best friend next to her as he rubs at his eyes before looking over.

All the pain carved into his face, the drinking, the anger that seems to always be seeping out of him
makes sense to her now.

He lost them both. He lost his two best friends within minutes of each other. He had been alone in
it for eight months. Ron didn't do well alone. Hated it. He liked people, and groups, and attention.
He needed it. Needed it to feel secure, and content, and at peace in himself.

"You and I split from Harry to go take care of the horcrux. We went down into the chamber of
secrets and used the basilisk fang to destroy it. After we… we kissed, we ran back up, fought our
way back to him, and then continued to fight our way to You Know Who, when Harry… Hagrid
told us when they faced off, Harry fell. Malfoy's mum lied to You Know Who and said he died. He
didn't."

Ron stops and moves closer to her, grabbing her hands and holding them tightly, needing her
support. She looks over at Malfoy to see his head bent to the ground with his eyes closed. When
she asked about the battle, he always gave short and guarded answers. Maybe this was why. He
never told her about what his mother had done. He also never told her about how she died.

"Hagrid grabbed Harry's body and brought him back to us. You were the one to feel his pulse and
feel his heart beating. Then his eyes shot open, and he sat up. He tried to get up to fight him again,
and You Know Who saw him. He saw him rising. And then all hell broke loose. Death Eaters
started attacking, Neville almost died killing Nagini because Bellatrix went after him, You Know
Who started advancing, and then Harry… he fell back down again and went unconscious. His body
was… was a wreck from the horcrux in him being..."

Ron's voice breaks, and he tears up as she is sure he is picturing what he is telling her. She can't
picture it. She can't imagine it. But even without the visual, she knows all of this is real. All he was
explaining had happened. Somewhere, in her, she just… knew. Knew all this was true. Knew Harry
was dead.

"Kingsley ordered the retreat, and you and Ginny went with Hagrid to help keep him safe. The rest
of us created a barrier between the Death Eaters and you. I thought you would be safer that way,
Hermione. I thought that was the best way to keep my promise to you. I thought… I thought we
could hold them off, but there were so many, and it was such a large space, and we were so
outnumbered that some slipped through…"

"You and I led Hagrid to the apparition point." Hermione looks over at Ginny, who has stopped
crying, and looks right back at her. "We were running, Neville was moaning, and then, then Hagrid
told us to stop. That Harry had gone completely limp. We turned around only maybe a three-minute
run from the apparition point. And you… you felt his neck… and he, he… You ran a diagnostic
charm, and we both saw that his heart had stopped."

Ginny's voice cuts off. She closes her eyes and breathes heavily through her nose.

"I, I was a bloody mess. I honestly don't remember much rather than screaming, and crying, and
kissing his body that he wasn't in anymore. You… you of course were the one to pull us out. To
realize what had just happened, and how we needed to keep it from You Know Who's knowledge. I
don't know how long it took you to get me off him, but Death Eaters were coming for us by the
time you did. We tried to run, but they were getting closer, and all of a sudden, you grabbed me and
told me to obliviate you and to run."

She starts rubbing at her chest back and forth, making her skin turn deep crimson red. Everyone is
looking at her and sitting in silence.

"I tried to argue. I tried to convince you we could make it, but, but I knew you were right, and I
couldn't leave him. I had to go and be there, to be there with his body. And I, I wasn't thinking
clearly. And you were screaming at me, and curses were hitting all around us, and then the voices
grew closer, and Neville's moans turned into wails, and it all just, it all just…"

"Ginevra here, lean back."

Theo moves next to her and tilts a vial into her mouth. She closes her eyes and waits for the
calmness to seep into her body. Theo stays by her side with his healing kit ready.

"I was overwhelmed and couldn't think clearly enough to do anything other than what you told me
to do, so I… I did it. I obliviated your memory of the battle and then ran after Harry, leaving you
to… to be… Merlin Hermione, I am so sorry, I am so sorry for doing that to you. I am so sorry.
This is all my fault. Everything that happened to you was because of me. Because I should have
done so many other things than what I did, and I…"

"Harry is dead."

Ginny stops talking. Hermione doesn't phrase it as a question because she is sure of its validity, but
Ginny shakes her head in agreement.

She looks over at Ron and meets his gaze. He is still holding her hands in his.
"Harry is dead."

"Yeah."

His hands are shaking in hers, and she feels them getting sweaty. He is crying again and nodding
his head at her.

"Harry is dead."

He pulls her into his chest and wraps his shaking limbs around her. She doesn't hold him back. Her
body can't move, can't respond. Can't do anything it seems but continue to think…

"Harry is dead."

He grabs the back of her head and shoves her face into the side of his neck.

"Harry is dead."

She says it into his skin, and she feels him convulse at her words.

"Harry is dead."

He moves his head to face the side of hers and speaks into her ear. "Yes, Hermione. Harry is
dead."

He said it.

Someone else just said it.

Ron said it.

It wasn't just in her head anymore. It wasn't just leaving her anymore. It was created by someone
else. Someone else said it.

Harry is dead.

This is real.

She hears an audible crack happen somewhere inside her, and she begins to lose all control.

The arms around her squeeze tighter, but something is missing. Something was missing in his
embrace. There was usually another set of arms, and thick dark hair, and a sharp pointy feeling on
the back of her head where his glasses would always poke her when the three of them embraced.

Harry is missing.

Because Harry is dead.

She needs Ron to let go of her now. She needs to get away from this gesture that is falling so short
at the moment. That makes her feel him missing in a way that she does not want to feel.

She hears noises leaving her. They aren't a cry. They aren't a scream.

It sounds like how an ache feels.

How grief weighs.

How death affects.

Hermione tries to push off his chest, but he is sobbing, and shaking, and so consumed in his own
loss that he can't see her. Can't feel how trapped she is in the current memory, so many memories,
of when the three of them held each other like the two of them are now.

"No stop… Harry is missing, stop."

She chokes the words out, head shaking back and forth, trying to find pockets between her and him
where she can breathe, where she can try to get out.

"What? No 'Mione. He is dead. He is gone. Not missing."

No, Ron doesn't understand. He doesn't understand at all.

He was missing. Harry was missing. She feels him missing right now. She feels…

The world goes black, and it sounds like she is underwater all of a sudden.

"Let her fucking go!"

The world spins, and she feels the ground.

"On her side Draco, on her side. Shit, she bit off a piece of her tongue."

A warm copper taste in her mouth, spilling out and trickling down her face, combining with the
other lines of fluids she is making.

"Ginevra, hand me the murtlap and Essence of Dittany. Back off, Ronald! It's a seizure. She has
had them before; we know what we are doing."

Weight is placed on something shaking. Something cold. Something refreshing and cool.

"Granger come back. Come back okay? Because I need to go camping again. Actual camping
remember? And I need to teach you how to make the image of the sky like I promised. And there
is so much chamomile tea in the cupboard, and if I am being honest, I hate the stuff so you have to
drink it. And we will go get that mangy four legged creature of yours you like more than most of
us. I planned on going and getting him tomorrow. And you need to read the book I brought you
because I already have, and I want to hear your thoughts. And you have to yell at me, and throw
shoes at me, and tell me how great Theo's arse is…"

"What the fuck ferret? Stop saying shit like that to her! She isn't okay! She isn't able to work
through all the lies and…"

"Ronald Weasley I have strived to be a pleasant bloke with you, but back the fuck off now. Or I
will ward you in one of my rooms. Her vitals are coming down. Keep talking Draco."

"We need to spend more time out in the sun after this. I think going to France would be a great idea.
France in the summer is beautiful, and I have never told you but I can speak French. Had a tutor,
surprise, surprise. You need to get your 8 freckles back, so you will need some sun, and France is a
good place to get some. And they have so many little bookshops and…"

She takes a gulp in. She can control a gulp in, and tastes the blood filling her mouth. She spits it out
and jerks up to her side to try to clean it out.

Hermione opens her eyes as Malfoy casts a scourgify, and Theo places a warm flannel in her hand.
It hurt. She had definitely been through worse though. Her head starts to center, and she blinks
rapidly trying to make the dots disappear as she wipes the blood off of her lips. She is still shaking.
She can hear her heartbeat pounding hot in her ears, almost drowning out the three words that keep
repeating themselves in her mind.

"Okay Hermione, can you hold your mouth open for me?"

Theo kneels next to her, and she does as he asks.

He gently places one hand on her chin, and holds it steady as he looks at the damage.

"Ginevra, the potions. Get some gauze."

He tilts her head back and she closes her eyes as the liquid pours in, and mixes with the metally
tastes filling her mouth. Another potion. Then he lowers her head.

Harry is dead.

Her mouth is filled with a thick piece of fabric.

Her eyes dart open.

Shhh no more noises little pet, or I'll hex your mouth shut instead of gagging you…

"Phno Phno!" She shakes her head and tries to back up. Tries to spit out the gag filling her mouth
and silencing her voice. Taking more away from her. Always taking from her.

"Shit! Sorry Granger I didn't fucking think I.. Granger come back. You are safe. He isn't here!"

What is happening?

What is going on?

Where am I?

What… what is real? What is real anymore?

 She can feel herself start to shake again, and the world goes black.

"Fuck! Granger, Gran- Hermione! You are Hermione Granger. Top of our class. So bloody
brilliant, and you…. Theo fuck it isn't working! What do we do?"

"Back up, her vitals are off the charts Draco. We need to knock her out. We need to put her in a
coma. Or she may have brain…"

"What did you fuckers do to her why is…."

"…Learned her best friend died Ron so shut the fuck up! What do we do Teddy?"

"Draco I have to. Now before…."

"Do it."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - This whole chapter is hard to read. Detrimental stress responses are depicted.
Death is discussed.
 Ron
Chapter Notes

Special thanks to Woah352 who came up with the name Dolodick.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The damn kneazle swats at him again, and almost backs into the large hole through the stairs Ron
fell into weeks ago.

He jerks his hand back and rounds the thing before trying to grab it from above.

The creature gets him with his claws this time, and Ron yelps, sticking his finger in his mouth to
suck off the blood.

"Come on, you furball from hell. Your mum is going to need you when she gets up, yeah? So how
about you stop trying to slaughter me and let me put you in the damn box."

He reaches forward again. The beast averts his hands and tries to nip him with its razor-sharp teeth
that Ron swears are as big as the basilisk fang they used to kill horcruxes.

Fuck it. Stay here then. She isn't even awake yet, so it doesn't bloody matter anyways.

"Still won't let you touch him?" Ginny comes up next to him and grabs the box on the floor they
had planned to put him in.

Ron huffs in frustration. "Of course not. The thing never did like me. Even though I am the reason
you are still alive!" He yells down the stairs where the dementor-possessed animal scurried off to.

Over the past 8 months he had fed it, watered it, and made sure it was still living, just in case he
ever saw Hermione again. He hadn't bathed it though, because the furball wouldn't let him touch
him. Ginny was able to wash him once, but it had apparently been such a horrible experience, she
said she would never help again.

Hermione and having a soft spot for nasty things.

Speaking of…

"Where's the ferret? I thought he would be racing to get back as soon as the meeting was over."

He doesn't try to hide the sarcastic drawl that his sister rolls her eyes at. They had just finished
another two-hour-long meeting, the second one within the last 24 hours.
This time, Kingsley had asked them to travel to the safehouse to meet and discuss operations with
the other high-ranking Order members and give them a chance to talk to Malfoy in person. He had
reluctantly agreed.

"He is talking to Neville. You know, about Luna. I believe Kingsley is letting him see the memory
to help him… better understand. Have you watched any like they offered?"

Ron scoffs. "Fuck no."

They were all being ridiculous. They acted like it mattered. Like it mattered he didn't want to kill
Luna. Like it didn't matter all the things he had said and done to Hermione in the past. Because he
had said two words to a couple people over and over again, and now it was all bloody forgotten?
No way. He wasn't falling for it.

Malfoy was an expert manipulator, and all of them have also seemed to forget, a blimey
Legilimens, and capable of occlumency. Ron has no desire to waste his time watching sorted and
edited memories from that prick or his little sidekick.

"For Godric's sake, Ron, stop this! You are acting like a bloody idiot. They both are on our side. I
know it is hard to wrap your head around, but you are the one making it so hard. Not them. You."

"You have told me everything, haven't you? Or did you somehow leave out some detail over the
past two days of your non-stop badgering about the two of them?"

Ginny glares at him and shoves him hard up against the banister that bends way too far to be safe.

"You know what, fuck you, Ron! I have tried to help. I have tried to talk some sense into you, but
apparently, you have decided to stay in your own little world of denial. And just so you are aware,
Hermione will not be willing to join you there. So unless you want to lose her entirely, I would
start listening to the people around you."

"Ms. Weasley, your mother is looking for you. She is in the kitchen."

They turn to see Aberforth walking into the room. Ginny takes a step back from him, giving him
one of her pain-promised looks before leaving.

The older wizard comes up to stand next to him as Ron wipes the blood still seeping from his new
wound.

"So… you are not convinced of their loyalties?"

Ron stops his actions. This doesn't feel right. He hadn't said anything that Ron hadn't basically
been yelling at his sister seconds ago, but the tone, the light, almost whisper voice, and the way he
tilts his face down to his while looking around warily, puts Ron on edge.

The man had become Kingsley's shadow ever since the Battle of Hogwarts went all wrong. A lot
of people's true colors came out after Harry died. After Hermione went missing. After they lost the
small amount of hope they had. But the man always gave him a bad feeling. Not as bad as the
current one the bleached ferret gave him though, so if he was the only person willing to listen to
him, he would take it.

"I think he is using us to get himself out of the shit hole he put himself in, to try to save his arse
from Azkaban when this is all over. And I think he is using Hermione to try to persuade us. I am
checking to see if he imperiused her as soon as Nott wakes her up from the coma."
Aberforth moves to stand in front of him and crosses his arms. He is listening to him intently.

Someone is listening to him.

Well hell, that is a nice change of pace. At least someone is listening to me and not blinded by this
nonsense.

"Whether or not that is true, his position and knowledge about You Know Who will still be to our
advantage, Mr. Weasley. And his current plan in place to ascertain the sword is quite impressive.
Why is the reason or conditions important when the outcome is something we all want?"

Ron's face starts to heat as he looks at the man who just all but confirmed that Hermione meant
nothing to The Order anymore. Nothing other than to be used. The ferret had said a total of maybe
ten sentences during the entire damn meeting, yet somehow, seemed to have convinced everyone
of his sincerity.

They didn't mention the fact that the bastard and his weird friend knew that Harry was dead. Nor
that Hermione was now aware either. They did tell them that she had suffered from a stress-
induced seizure and was in a coma that the mental Nott placed her in to try to stop any brain
damage from happening, but Ron is convinced Hermione already had some. Especially after how
she had spoken about Malfoy during their last conversation.

She continued to prove to him how sorely messed up her mind had become. The girl couldn't tell
what was real and what wasn't. No wonder she seemed so comfortable with the two snakes. They
had taken advantage of her. He can't imagine how scrambled her mind must have been when they
had found her and started saying and creating this fake environment where she believed she was
safe with the two fuckers. That she could trust them. That Malfoy wasn't dangerous for her.

"Because, unlike the rest of you, I care about her. People have used her for way too long, and I
don't care if it benefits us or not. I will not stand by, and let us hand her over to the Malfoy monster
so he can use her for his own fake redemption."

Aberforth's eyes sparkle at him, and Ron pulls back a bit. Mortified, he had shown too much just
now.

You don't trust this man. You don't trust anyone anymore. Even if he is willing to listen to you.

"You all will regret the day you trust a snake. Remember I warned you."

The man nods and sucks on the side of his cheek, deep in thought. "So, you believe her mind is still
broken?"

"Yes."

Ron doesn't hesitate to answer. There was no other realistic answer. Not one for the way she acted,
the things she said, the things she let… Yes, there was no other explanation. Certainly not the one
everyone was trying to push, that the bastard had changed, and saved her, and helped her, and
cared. No fucking way.

"She isn't herself anymore, but I think. No, I know, it isn't too late for her."

Ron guesses that Malfoy used his legilimency mind tricks to see the truth of Hermione's empathy
for the bloody bloke and decided to use and exploit that over the last two months. Saying shit like
he had during her fucking seizure. Ron had been frozen to the spot as he heard the twisted and
manipulative lies coming from Malfoy's mouth with such ferocity.

If he had her alone for weeks and kept promising, and apologizing, and saying things like that, Ron
knew Hermione would forgive him. She would accept his words as truth, with her mind being so
unused to care, affection, and just basic human kindness for months. She would latch on to the first
person who showed her that. And unfortunately, that happened to be one of the worst people
imaginable.

"Interesting," Aberforth hums.

Ron turns and glares at the man.

Whatever that bloody means. He isn't listening to me. No one ever fucking listens to me. I may not
be the smartest or wittiest, but I know Hermione, and the girl they have is not her.

"Mum packed us some homemade bread and said one loaf is entirely for you to soak up all that
alcohol in your stomach, so you stop being the largest tosser in the world. Aberforth, have any idea
how long the…. oh you're leaving? Cheeky, bye then! What a bloody old git, what did he want?"

She leans on the wall across from him, and he rips off a piece of the loaf she tossed at him and
shoves it into his mouth.

"Noffing."

"Weaselette, where is that box for this… creature?"

Ron turns around, shoving another large piece of bread down his throat, but starts choking as he
sees Malfoy walk in.

You have got to be bloody joking!

Malfoy walks closer with an obvious look of distaste all over his face as he holds Crookshanks out
in both of his hands, ensuring it does not touch his body.

"You caught him?!"

"No. It caught me." The blonde looks down with a sneer at the kneazle's tail curling around his
arm.

"This is hers, right? Because if it isn't, I think we should put it out of its misery."
No fucking way did the kneazle just come up to him. No bloody way. Ron had been working on
getting the damn thing to eat with him in the same room yet couldn't convince the stubborn as its
owner, kneazle, to do it.

Crooks didn't like anyone except for her.

"Yeah, that's Crooksy. He just looks like that because none of us could get close enough to bathe
him."

"Funny Red." Malfoy walks over and puts the kneazle in the box, and Ron doesn't miss how the
damn animal nuzzles and licks his hand as he lets it go.

Gin laughs. "I'm serious! He doesn't like anybody. Maybe he only likes broody prickish creatures
just like him."

Malfoy stands up, scowls at the red hairs sticking to his perfectly wrinkleless trousers, and waves
his wand to remove them. "Let's go. I have no desire to be in this cesspool for another second."

And I have no desire to be anywhere close to you for another second.

Malfoy picks up the box, shaking and moving in sharp ways as Crooks makes hallowing sounds of
anger and frustration at being in an enclosed space.

Ron lets Ginny follow after Malfoy before walking out himself. He wanted it always to be clear
there was no camaraderie, no trust, between him and the blonde bastard. There was a line that he
would never cross with the man. He honestly hated to admit it, but he found himself preferring to
stay in his closet of a room rather than going back to that sensory fucking prison where everything
was as backward as could get.

But he couldn't leave her now. He promised years ago never to leave her alone. She needed him
there. A voice of reason through the fog of lies the fucker had been spinning.

He didn't care how long it took, but he would make her see the truth. Help her piece together as
much as she could, and do what needed to be done where she wasn't capable anymore.

He would save her. He wasn't able to save her from the last monster who had her, but he could save
her from this one. The problem was convincing her that Malfoy was a monster.

"Is Teddy still planning on waking her up today?"

Malfoy shrugs and holds tighter to the box as the animal tries to launch itself through the wall.
"We'll see what the diagnostic shows. He should be done with the medical book he was reading.
Maybe that will help."

His sister nods her head and moves to walk beside him, and Ron feels like throwing up. Even his
sister believed the tosser. Was it the looks that blinded them all to the reality of the prick? It had to
be something because Ginny was a lot of things, but she was not stupid.

"They want us to make our move by the end of the following week. Do you think that will be
possible?"
"We will do it when we have the best chances and options. Until then, we do nothing. No matter
how long it is. The Disorder doesn't get to put us on a timetable. We are the ones in control,
Weaselette."

"Yes, but their protection only goes so far for people who don't listen to commands."

Malfoy laughs. "Sounds familiar."

They reach the end of the wards, and Ginny pulls Malfoy through. He disapparates as soon as he
can, and Ron goes up to Ginny and takes her hand.

She was shit at side by side, but with how drunk he currently is, he doesn't think trying on his own
is the best idea. She ends up dropping them in a large thorn bush, of course.

"Fuck Gin!" Thorns are so deep in his flesh that he physically rips the entire branch from the bush,
trying to remove them.

"Don't yell at me, Ron! You are the one sloshed right now."

"Yeah, and I bet I could still do better than you sober."

"Oh yeah? then how about you…"

"Shut the fuck up now."

Even Ron closes his mouth at the sound of Malfoy's voice, which is full of warning. He comes
around the side of the bush and pulls them both down to the ground while placing a silencing
charm around the damn kneazle, still losing his freaking mind in the box.

"Antonin, something has to be wrong on your end because the spell is correct. The ritual is correct.
What the Dark Lord is doing is correct. You are the only part that could be…"

"The potion is right, Nott. I have tested it on the blood that I took from it, and it fucking works
every damn time. If the potion doesn't work during this next spectacle, it has to be you or…"

"Or who, Antonin? Our Dark Lord? You better hope that is not the case because if he is no longer
strong enough, you are as good as dead where you stand."

A man growls. "I just need it back. I need it back. If I had it, I could experiment on it. I could test
this before taking it before him. Maybe the little Malfoy did something to its body, or blood, or the
tattoo, and that is why this isn't working."

They hear the sound of the gate opening and two pairs of footsteps only yards away from them.

Ron moves his head slightly to see the man he watched destroy his best friend. He hates Malfoy,
but there are no words to describe how he feels about the so-called man in front of him. The bile in
his stomach moves into his throat, and he swallows before he loses control of his bodily functions.

Her screaming begins to gain volume over the fog and whisp of noises the alcohol always filled his
mind with.

"Argh! I just need it. I, I haven't gone this long without it, and I can't think, I can't do anything. I
don't even have its moving images anymore because the damn contraption you gave me burst into
fucking flames!"

"Antonin, I have no desire to hear this any longer. Go get release elsewhere. Are you still heading
to Australia?"

The man must have nodded because there was no response.

"Okay, we will try the new brew when you get back. Owl me."

The gate screeches shut again, and they hear two pops. Malfoy motions for them to stay still for a
few more minutes before he stands up and casts a series of spells into the air under his breath.

"They are gone. Weaselette, did you get that damn cloak off of Nott?"

She pulls it out of the bag she is carrying.

"Good, place it around you and him. Just in case. Get up there as fast as you can."

She tosses her bag to the ferret and wraps the cloak around him. They start to run towards the
manor. Both were very good at this; they had been close enough with Harry to have many
experiences with the cloak saving their arses.

They open the door into Theo Nott's weird and horrible-looking rooms that Ron could not stand.
With the alcohol in his system, it was all too overbearing to register and make sense.

"Teddy, we're home!"

He rolls his eyes and walks straight into the room where Hermione lies unconscious on the floor
for over two days. Nott sits next to her with a few books spread out around him, glancing up at the
chart above her.

Ginny plops down next to him and tosses a piece of bread into his lap, which he doesn't pick up,
too busy reading whatever the diagnostic is showing.

Ron pulls up a chair and sits, looking down at his best friend. Her tongue had grown back, but her
vitals were all over the place for hours after the seizure, and Nott recorded the three spikes that
happened throughout the past 51 hours.

"Where's Draco?" Nott asks.

"We had an almost run-in with your father and Dolodick as they left your manor. He was covering
our backs. Should be here any minute. Try my mum's bread Teddy; it is seriously orga…"

"Wait, you saw my father and Dolohov?"

The front door opens, and Malfoy walks in carrying the box.

Nott turns his attention to him and stands. "You saw my father and…"

"Yes, they left. Said some interesting things though I think we should discuss later. How is she?"

He places the box on the ground, walks over, and kneels next to Hermione. Ron pulls his chair to
the other side and bends down to be closer to her than the prick across from him.

Don't you fucking touch her.

"Her vitals have been stable for six hours. No spikes or changes. I need to go down to the potions
room and get all the supplies I need for her regimen I put together to try and make sure she is
calm."

"And what is that?" Ron bites out.

Maybe that is what they have been doing to her. Giving her potions and putting her basically in a
drugged state most of the time. Nott already admitted he knocked her out before. That could
explain her continuing mind issues.

Nott looks up at him tentatively before looking back at the ferret. Ron would find out everything
they planned on putting in her body. He wouldn't let her consume anything else these bastards gave
her without taking it first himself.

"Uhh… The recommended daily regimen of potions that St. Mungo's uses for cases of extreme
stress-related seizures, strokes, and attacks. It is all here if you want to read it. Just warning,
chapters 4 through 11 are pretty hard to get through due to the complete lists of every ingredient
described in detail."

Nott holds out a book to him, and Ron looks at it before turning his gaze back to Hermione. No
way would he be reading that. It would be pointless anyways. He had never been good at potions.
Hermione always made his for him when it was anything too complex.

"Okay, well then…"

He hears the book fall on the ground again.

"I am going to run and grab those now. Is that the kneazle?" Nott asks as he points to the box.

On cue, the kneazle attacks one of the box's walls and hisses loudly.

"Yeah, that's Crooksy." Gin pats the top of the box, which makes the furball moan at the motion.

Ferret opens the box, and the kneazle doesn't hesitate before jumping out and taking in its new
surroundings. Nott lets out a groan as he sees the animal. "Shit, that thing is hideous!"

"Yes well, we all know Granger tends to ugly red-haired creatures."

I fucking hate you.

Ron sees Malfoy already smirking at him as he glares back.

"Oh shit! Look Draco! Look, it is already leaving its fur all over my damn house! It is going to get
all over my pieces and collections! Ugh! Hermione, you are lucky I fucking love you because this
is honestly my worst nightmare coming true."

Ron's fists curl into balls at his sides, and he feels his face becoming red as he watches the ferret's
weird sidekick collect the stranded hairs as Crookshanks begins to explore the room. He hated
when the tosser said that. That she loved him. What a joke. The girl he knew would never love
someone who had beaten her. She didn't need the love of someone like Theo Nott. She had plenty
of people in her life who loved her that hadn't done something so terrible to her.

"Oh Teddy, calm down. I will place the Molly Weasley specialty charm on your items. My mum
created it to be placed on every belonging in our house. The seven of us were always spilling,
pushing, or sending something across the room or onto the floor."

His sister gets up and casts the charm all the Weasley's were familiar with, as every new belonging
that entered their home had to have it placed to keep their mum's sanity, as she explained.

Nott gawks. "Wait, so nothing will be able to break my stuff anymore? And I won't have to dust
every day?"

Ginny starts waving her wand over the items on top of the fireplace. Items that look more like
pointless clutter to him. She throws the slice of bread in her hands at a feather quill and ink, but it
never meets the item and falls to the ground.

Nott stares at his sister with his mouth hanging open.

The bugger is a weird one, that's for sure…

"You're amazing Gingersnap. I take back the time I said I wished we didn't save you."

"What?! You said that? I am a delight, Teddy, and you know it! Now it'll probably take me most of
a lifetime to protect every item you own, so I'll teach you later, and we can start on your most
precious items and work our way down."

The odd snake beams at Ginny and is about to say something but is cut off by the prick across
from Ron.

"Nott, go get what you need so we can wake her up."

He looks back down at Malfoy, who is reading a chart hovering over Hermione's head. Ron looks
over the moving lines and sparks that light up within her mind and tries to read the numbers and
other markings listed next to the image. None of it makes sense to him. He isn't sure if it was the
alcohol or not.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll be back. No killing each other while I'm gone."

We'll see…

He has been with Malfoy for four days and has yet to have an actual physical altercation with him.
That had to be a new record for the two of them. They always fought when they were anywhere
near each other in school, usually for calling Hermione something terrible or insulting his family.
He was waiting for the ferret to give him an opportunity, but Ron was impatient. He needed to
punch something. Something blonde and prickish, currently rubbing her bare arm with his fucking
thumb.

Don't touch her.

Ron grabs Hermione's arm and pulls it across her body away from the snake's touch.

He wanted to take her back to the safe house the second Nott put her in a coma. He tried twice and
was met with a stinging hex from his sister and a ferret taking up the entire doorway. The bastard
Nott placed a detection spell on her that he would notify him if she moved from his 11 rooms.

Yeah… that sounds like she is safe to me… not like she is in another fucking cage at all.

"Weasel back off. She doesn't need this as soon as she…"

"I'll back off when you do ferret."

Suddenly, the chair he is sitting in starts moving backward away from Hermione. He looks behind
him and sees his sister dragging the chair toward the fireplace.

"I will place a sticking charm on your arse Ron if you don't stop this shit now. Just watch the damn
memories, and sober up for real this time so we can stop this whole holding on to the past shit."

"It's not just the past that I am holding onto, Gin."

Bloody fucking hell, now his own sister was standing up for the bloke. What the hell was it that
made witches lose all sensibility around him?

Malfoy scoffs. "Only you could twist saving her into some crime, Weasel."

The blonde stands up and starts to exit the room without even looking at him. Like he is less than
him. Like he doesn't even deserve his attention.

Fine, you bastard. I'll make you look.

Ron launches out of his seat and sprints after the man walking into the kitchen. He hears his sister
swearing up a storm behind him, but he doesn't care. This was a long time coming. He needs to get
this out. Stop bottling it up. Taking off the top, and letting everything escape.

"You didn't fucking save her! You got lucky! You just stumbled upon her. Right place at the right
time. That's all. You didn't try to save her as I did."

The man freezes as he pulls the kettle out of the cupboard. Good. The satisfaction Ron feels at
affecting the bastard is all the triumph he needs.
Just like ol'e days there ferret. Always getting one up on you.

Malfoy turns around and places the kettle on the counter before walking towards him. The face of
anger and the twisting of his mouth is familiar. This is the Malfoy Ron knows. This is the real
Malfoy. And everyone needed to see it. Needed to see the truth. Needed to remember.

"You are such a sorry excuse for a man, Ronald Fucking Weasley. You call what you did trying?!
You classify that as a job well done!? You didn't fucking try. You did what you always do when it
comes to her, nothing. You sit back and never do fucking anything. You have made it quite clear
that your pride and ego will always come before her."

The man stands so close to him, Ron can see his eyes dilate as they glare at each other. Was he
bloody mad? How could he, out of all the people in the world, say something like that to him? Talk
about burning the kettle black.

"I have offered my life in her place, Malfoy! I didn't hear you begging your aunt to torture you
instead, did I? You bloody know how much I have and would do for her. I would die for her!"

The blonde scoffs. "Dying for someone is easy! It is noble, isn't it? You would become a fucking
martyr, right? You would love that. You would do anything for her that left you still looking like
the hero. But you weren't willing to do what had to be done to get her away from that sociopath
who was destroying her, and you had months! You fucking knew where she was for months! You
weren't willing to break the rules of your ever so straight moral compass and heroic reputation, and
because of that, she suffered when she didn't fucking have to."

Ron sees red after Malfoy finally shuts his mouth. He is swinging before realizing it and makes
contact with the prick's ridiculously sharp jawline.

Only he could turn doing what was good, what was right, into a bad thing. What a fucking
manipulator. Malfoy recovers and launches at him, and Ron feels himself smiling.

This is right. This makes sense.

Malfoy grabs him by the shoulders and slams him into the wall. Ron feels his head sink into the
plaster, knowing it left a dent before even needing to see it. The blonde rears back and punches him
in the face. Ron hears his nose cracking and twisting into a weird angle. The ferret grabs his neck
and squeezes, but Ron lifts his knee right into his groin and pushes him back off.

"I am not the one using her for my reputation! That is you, fucker! You are the evil one trying to
gain your redemption through her! You are using her kindness and her bloody empathy for you
against her. I see it, Malfoy! I have always fucking seen it!"

He towers over the man and pulls his arm back to punch him in his face again, but Malfoy raises
his wand and sends him flying back into the bloody wall. He hits it in the air before falling to the
ground, smashing his nose again off of the floor. He can feel the blood trailing down his face as he
moves to stand again.
"I have seen it too, you wanker."

Ron spurts out the blood falling into his mouth and uses his sleeve to wipe it off. Malfoy is slowly
rising from the floor, still trying to recover from the kick to the groin. Ron is sure the bastard had
done the same to him when he was unconscious the first night here.

"Seen what, Malfoy?"

The ferret raises his wand and stands up straight. Ron raises his as well.

"I have seen you put your worthless reputation before her time and time again. A reputation that
wouldn't even exist without her, for fuck's sake. You care more about what people think of you
than how she feels. Then how you make her feel. Then how you treat her. Then what you can and
should be doing for her."

Ron spits the blood out of his mouth and advances on the man, but before he can make contact
with the prick's face again, Malfoy hexes him back against the wall. He tries to move his hand with
his wand, but it won't move. He looks up and sees Malfoy stalking toward him, not finished in the
slightest.

Bring it, you fucker. Hit me. Hurt me. Kill me. She will never forgive you.

"You scowl at the fact that your name is always attached to hers. Like you actually fucking believe
you don't need her, that you deserve that recognition on your own. I have seen it all as well. And
you continue to prove how truly undeserving you are of the attention she gives you. Especially
after doing nothing when… when you could have been doing everything. You could have had her,
saved her, everything with her… and you chose to do absolutely fucking nothing. All to save that
meaningless reputation of yours."

Ron isn't sure if it is the alcohol coursing through his system or just the confusing way the ferret is
talking, but he is having trouble following as the snake comes to stand right in front of him, placing
his wand right at his chest.

Was he accusing him of having the ability to save Hermione and choosing not to? How the fuck
had he twisted that into existence? What was Ron supposed to do? Go storming into fucking
Malfoy Manor that was warded more than Azkaban itself, and take on every Death Eater and the
darkest wizard to ever exist and get his best friend out of there? He wouldn't have made it five
steps before someone Avada'd him.

Was he comparing himself to him? Oh bloody hell, that is what he is doing, isn't it? He thinks he is
better than him because Malfoy believes he did everything right to be able to save her. That
keeping himself alive had saved her, so it was all okay now? What a fucking twisted way of
thinking. What a sociopath.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? Not wanting to kill people, torture people, give
myself to an evil wizard is not caring about my fucking reputation! Those things are wrong. They
are evil! Just like you. I would never stoop so low to become that. I would never do that for
anyone."

Ron is proud of the words he spews at the blonde, but the man in front of him turns his glare into a
smirk that makes Ron want to launch at him with everything he has.
Do not fucking laugh at me when I am being serious!

"Well then, that's the difference between you and I."

Differences? Try opposites there, Malfoy.

"The difference between you and me is that you are the bad guy. You are the villain."

Malfoy moves his wand into the soft skin of his throat and tilts the wood to make him raise his
chin. "No, the difference between you and I is that, yes, I am the villain; I am the villain to
everyone and anyone else. I will gladly be the villain to the rest of the world, if it means I get to be
her hero."

Ron feels his breath catch in his throat.

Wait what? What did that mean? What was he saying?

Oh blimey, maybe I do need to cut back. Just so I can put him in his place like I used to do.

Her hero… Her hero? Hermione's hero? He just said he wanted to be her hero, right?

No way fucker, that's my job.

"She already has a hero Malfoy, and it isn't you. You are her ruin."

The Slytherin flinches slightly but recovers and presses his wand harder into his throat.

"You have no idea what I am to her. And you have no idea what I am willing to become for her."

Ron grimaces as he feels his wand push so hard against his throat that the skin breaks.

He decides then and there that he will cut back on drinking. He needed to be in top shape if he was
going to save Hermione from the man in front of him.

"Draco! Stop! Ginevra, why didn't you stop them?"

The weird brunette grabs Malfoy's shoulder and drags him across the room. Ron feels the hex
holding him to the wall break, and he lowers his arms and wipes the blood from his face onto his
shoulder.

"They needed to get this all out before you wake her up. We all know it was just a matter of time.
Feel better, bastards? "

"No." They both say in unison and then give each other mirroring sneers.
"You cannot do this when she wakes up, you hear me? I am serious. I will ward you out of my
house as soon as someone starts something again. She needs the least amount of stress that we can
give her, and you two trying to kill each other every other minute is not going to help her. It is
going to hurt her. Do either of you want to hurt her?"

They both shake their heads. Ron rolls his eyes. He hated agreeing with the bastard.

"I didn't think so. So are you both good now? Get all the pent-up anger out in one of the most
unhealthy ways possible?"

Malfoy looks down at the ground, and Ron can see the purpling beginning on his jawbone and
finds himself smiling. His sister elbows him in the gut, making him grunt. "You look a hell of a lot
worse than him, Ron, so I wouldn't be smirking if I were you."

She hands him a flannel, and he holds it up to his nose that is still bleeding.

"Okay, pull yourselves together. We need to wake her up soon."

Nott and Ginny walk out of the room, and he watches as the ferret tucks his shirt back into his
trousers and runs his hand through his hair as he starts to walk out.

"She will always come back to me, Malfoy."

He doesn't know why those are the words that leave his mouth. This wasn't some competition
between him and the prick. Hermione was his best friend. Everyone knew that. Maybe that is why
the bastard was doing all of this. Using Hermione in the way he was. Maybe it was all to get back
at him, to try and take something else from him. Malfoy had everything. Ron had nothing. Nothing
anymore. She was it for him, just like he knew he was it for her. It was supposed to happen.
Everyone said so.

The other man freezes in the kitchen doorway and turns his head slightly back to him. "She is
allowed to outgrow you without your permission."

Malfoy walks out, and Ron throws the red flannel across the room in anger.

He grabs a new one and walks back into Hermione's room, where everyone is around her still
unconscious body. Nott has about eight different vials in front of him.

"Okay, so everyone, give her space. If she asks for anything, we will all listen to her requests,
okay? But if… if she asks about Harry, try to keep it to the basics. Nothing too triggering or
graphic okay? The diagnostic shows no brain damage, but she is still recovering from her time with
Dolohov. If she keeps having these seizures, the chances of her having something permanent
happen increases."

Ron reaches out and grabs a couple of the vials.

"Ron, what are you doing?" His sister asks.

"I will take a sip of everything you pricks want to put in her body. To make sure you aren't lying."

He dips his finger into the first vial and licks the liquid off. That is definitely Draught of Peace.

He looks up as he does the same thing with the other two vials in his hand to see everyone glaring
at him. Nott is rolling his eyes but hands him the other vials and allows him to continue the
process. A minute passes, and he doesn't feel his mind becoming foggier than it already is, or his
body doing anything funny.

"Convinced I'm not poisoning her, Ronald?"

Ron shrugs and leans back against the wall. "Maybe not this time."

"Oh bloody hell, Ron, you are such a moron." His sister shakes her head at him.

"Okay, so everyone, be quiet. Don't say anything as I do this, and don't say anything until she
speaks to you. Here we go."

The brunette waves his wand over Hermione.

Ron watches as one of her hands on her stomach flinches slightly, and her breathing changes. She
keeps her eyes closed but starts pursing her eyebrows together and lightly moaning out her breaths.
They all move closer to her, wanting to see the moment she wakes up.

"Rrrrrrr"

Ron's heart leaps in his chest, and he leans forward more as he hears her start to speak a syllable of
his name.

Fuck the rest of you!

In her sub-conscious, she knows who is safe!

“Rrr… Drrrrr... Drrrac… Drrraco...”

Wait… What the fuck?

Malfoy moves across from where Ron is leaning, and pushes a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"I'm here. I'm right here, Granger."

Ron slumps back on his legs as he watches Hermione open her eyes slightly, look up at the prick
and give him a small smile. Her hand comes up and grabs his, and he squeezes it.

"Hi."

He smiles and rubs his thumb on top of her hand, and Ron feels like he is about to lose his lunch.

"Glad you are still alive, Granger."

For some reason, that response gets a light laugh from Hermione, and Ron has never been more
confused in his life. Maybe he really needed to cut back; maybe it was becoming a problem.

"How long?"

"2 days."
Her eyes open farther, and her gaze travels to the brunette to the blonde's left. "Do I… Is there…"

"No Hermione, nothing permanent. We need to work a little better to create a less stressful
environment for you, though, so could you take these potions and herbal supplements for me?"

'Mione nods her head and opens her mouth without hesitation.

She trusted them too much. That trust was going to kill her. He couldn't let that happen.

After she swallows the last potion, she turns back to Malfoy. "Harry is dead."

None of them say anything right away. But Ron feels his eyes start to water as he sees hers do the
same.

That was another thing that haunted him all the time. Harry. The images of Harry and what he…
What was done to him.

They still hadn't buried him.

The git Aberforth believed there was truly no safe place to put Harry's body currently and thought
it would be best to preserve his body as much as possible for the polyjuice potion and other 'needs'
that The Order may run into. And Ginny was adamant about burying Harry next to his parents, and
with You Know Who watching the area like a hawk, they were never given the opportunity. Ron
found it all sickeningly morbid.

And Ginny… well, Ginny recently was beginning to cope. She hadn't slept for almost two months
after he died. She had also been obsessed with sitting next to the fucking altar-like bed they kept
Harry on. It took three of them to ward her out of the room finally.

Ron was the opposite. He had no desire to see the shell of his best friend. He wasn't there anymore.
He was alone. Always fucking alone.

"I am so sorry, Granger."

She nods her head, and Malfoy wipes a tear falling onto the bridge of her nose. She finally looks
over at him and Ginny.

I still feel alone. I don't feel like you are her, Hermione. You are so different, and I don't like it.

“I am so sorry Ginny, Ron.”

She moves to sit, and the snake grabs her arm and pulls her body up, placing his side behind her to
help prop her. He hears his sister choke before she starts speaking.

"No, Hermione, I, I am sorry. I am the one who should be apologizing, should be doing and saying
sorry for… for the rest of my life after what I did to you. I wish I could go back and…"

"Ginny, stop." His sister listens as Hermione reaches out and grabs her hand in hers. "None of this
is your fault. You did exactly what I asked you to do. Everything… Everything I am dealing with
now is due to Mas.. Dolohov's actions. Not yours. I can't even forgive you, Gin, because there is
nothing to forgive. I love you."
His sister whimpers a note before gently lowering and wrapping Hermione in her arms, burying her
face into her crazy hair.

"I love you too, Hermione. Merlin, I love you so much."

Me too.

The two women sit and hold each other for a couple of minutes before both pull away and wipe
their faces.

"Are you guys okay after, after losing him, I mean. Are you both doing okay?"

Ron gulps and looks down at his hands, not really sure how to respond. No one had asked him that
in… well, he doesn't remember the last time someone asked him if he was okay. It honestly may
have been her.

"It… It is still really hard sometimes, but it has become easier over the last eight months. But being
with you and getting you back has been, has been more helpful than anything, Hermione. It almost
feels like I got a piece of him back."

She smiles at his sister and then looks directly at him.

I love you.

"I miss you both every bloody second." He forces out.

She frowns at his words. "I am right here, Ron. I am still Hermione. I am still your friend."

But she wasn't his Hermione. This all felt wrong. He wanted something to be the same. Something
to be like it was before. Before he lost everything. He lost his brothers, he lost his best friend, he
lost his plan for his life and what he thought it would look like. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't.

"You are all I have left, Hermione."

"Wow, and what am I then, Ron?"

He rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean, Gin."

His sister huffs and shakes her head as she crosses her arms. The weird bloke across from him
glares at him too, and Ron sneers.

"And you have me, Ron. We are back together. But listen to me." He looks back up at his best
friend. "You have to stop drinking. You have to, Ron. It destroys you from the inside out and
makes you into the person you were when you left us horcrux hunting. I want my best friend
back."

His heart comes into his throat at the memory of leaving them. Of trying to get back, but not being
able to find them. He had been in the same position for the last eight months. Looking for them
everywhere but never finding them. He would never find one of them. Harry was already gone. But
he could find Hermione. He could get her back to how she used to be. He could do it. He had to do
it.

"I will. I will 'Mione, I promise. But I want my best friend back too."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're different too."

He watches as she flinches, and the blonde git rubs her upper arms and whispers something into
her ear.

Don't fucking touch her.

"Of.. of course I am Ron. After… After everything I went through, of course I am different, but I
can't change that. I can't change the different perspective I have now after… after living through
what I did. I can't control it like you can control the drinking."

Ron starts shaking his head down at the floor. Of course she didn't understand what he was saying.
She couldn't. Not with all that she had been through. She couldn't see how she was still trapped.
Still being used. Still not okay in her mind. Still broken.

What if she never would be okay again? What if she never could recover mentally from what she
is going through? His stomach flips at the thought. Maybe they would place her with Neville's
parents.

Maybe his Hermione was already gone.

I am alone… I am all alone.

The tears start to form in his eyes again, and he tries to stop them before the pricks in the room can
see. He doesn't want them to see. He can't show them weakness right now.

He squeezes his eyes hard and turns out of the room.

He would stop drinking tomorrow. He would. Today would be his last day. He didn't realize his
last drink would be his last, so he needed to have one more before he stops tomorrow.

Ron shuts the bedroom door behind him and opens up the closet, grabbing his flask from the top
shelf hidden in one of his shoes.

He falls down, leaning against the wall, and takes a large swig that forces his tears to release from
his eyes with the familiar sting of the alcohol sliding down his throat.

She doesn't come. Surprise, surprise.

She hadn't come or followed him since they had seen each other again. Another way she was
 different. His Hermione would always be the one to come first. To give him the opportunity to
make things better.

Ron takes another large swig.

And then another.

And then another.

And then another.

Ginny is right. It really does suck to lose someone that is still alive.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Depictions of alcohol abuse.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

One, two, three, four, five, six…

Draco looks around on the counter for the vial. It isn't there.

"Nott, where is the…"

"Right here, sorry you are moving faster than we can label them."

He turns and grabs the tray of bottles the she-Weasel is handing him and places the seventh vial in
the slot.

The compartment he made to hold her daily potions and herbal supplements is working out nicely.
It has seven slots for the days of the week, and it fits all seven vials into each one perfectly. There
was an extra slot for her monthly potions like the contraceptive one. He decided it would be best to
keep it in the kitchen where she could take them with breakfast and dinner.

"Okay, she has enough for the next four weeks. I will keep the refills up here to replace every day."

Theo lifts the box holding the other vials and puts it on top of the fridge. Draco pulls out her red
mug and starts to prepare her tea for the day. After Theo woke her two days ago, she spent most of
the time either nurturing her four-legged throw rug of an animal, talking and giving input to all the
events that happened while she was in the coma, or spending time talking with the Weasley crew,
and sleeping.

They had all slept on the floor in the room with her. Well, everyone except for the tosser who
stormed off minutes after she was up. Draco still hadn't slept well, due to Nott's incessant sleep
talking and Red's constant moving and huffing. But it was better than the night he tried to sleep
without her.

He pours the honey into the mug and feels something press up against his leg.

Fucking hell, not again…

He moves his leg and hears the damn kneazle leaning against it stumble. Draco looks down to see
the truly hideous creature looking up at him and sauntering its tail back and forth. He rolls his eyes
and turns around to see if Theo and Red are still in the kitchen. They aren't.

He lets out a sigh, and reaches into the pan of scrambled eggs, grabs a small lump, and throws it
onto the floor.
Only because he wanted the thing away from him.

The kneazle purrs and moves over to the treat.

"That's right. Destroy the evidence," he mumbles.

"Who are you talking to?"

Fuck.

He looks up from the animal as Granger walks in, smiling at both of them.

"No one."

Draco hands her the mug of tea as she sits on the floor. He turns and begins to prepare her a plate,
taking out the four vials in the front of the slot for the day. Even she agreed they were necessary.
Theo had researched most of the two days she was in a coma to figure out some medicinal potion
regimen and supplements to ensure she wouldn't be sent into another seizure. They really couldn't
control how stressful their environment was, but they could try to make sure they didn't add to it if
it wasn't necessary and help her stay calm when it was hard.

He gives her the plate and sits down next to her, taking the tops off each vial and handing them to
her. The damn animal tries to curl up into his lap and lick the fingers he had used to give the beast
a piece of egg. He grabs him and places him on his mother's lap, but the thing turns around and
rests itself on one of each of their legs. Draco lets out an annoyed grunt and gives in.

Not wanting to add to her stress, of course.

"I think he likes you, Malfoy."

"Hmmph."

She swallows the morning vials, and he takes the empty containers.

"So you have the meeting today?"

He nods his head at her. He spoke to the Carrow Cunt about Hogwarts after fulfilling one of his
three sessions with her two nights ago. Her brother was placed in charge of overseeing operations
there. Mainly the security. And she had informed him that he would be at today's scout meeting
due to setting up a training program for the 7th-year students finishing their schooling to join.

It was a perfect opportunity. As one of the youngest Death Eaters to ever be initiated into the Dark
Lord's army, Draco held a prestige that could possibly get him into the school under the pretense of
inspiring younger students to join his forces willingly. They didn't really have a choice, and he is
sure most of them realize that, but it was easier to accept if one pretended. He would know.

His plan was to convince Amycus Carrow to have him and Theo visit Hogwarts and talk to the
students, showing them the fantastic life that was provided by joining their Dark Lord's army. They
would then use The Git Who Didn't Live's invisibility cloak to get the Weaselette and the Weasel
into the school and out with them when they left. Their job would be to find the Room of
Requirement, where he knew the sword would show up for them.
Granger would be staying here. Where she was safe. Where she couldn't be hurt again. Where she
couldn't be stressed. She had already fought with him to be involved. Threw one slipper and a
sneaker in retaliation to some, as she stated, 'ugly as the cockroach he was, statements' he had
made. It was a battle they both knew she would lose, especially after her last seizure.

"What time?"

"Soon."

They both don't say anything as she takes another bite of her food. She had been distant with him
since she woke up. Not cruelly. More like an awkward type of stepping back. Like she really didn't
want to but didn't know what else to do. Like she was battling something. And Draco was pretty
sure he knew what that was.

She said my name.

My real name.

She wanted me.

Me.

Mine.

A smile begins to appear on his face as he remembers her voice and lips moving to create the
amazing five letters.

That meant something. That did. They were more than sex. And he is pretty sure after their
altercation, and then her asking for him, the Weasel wanker was catching on as well.

He hadn't told the fucker their secret. He had kept his promise to her. He just revealed a bit of his
own personal truth. Draco hadn't planned to. But when Weasel claimed he had tried to save her, he
lost it. Lost all control over occluding, lost all control over being the bigger man. The bastard was
delusional. He actually thought he was her hero? Somehow he thought that was what he was.
Draco couldn't stand it. He had to be sure the idiot knew what he was and what he did, which was
nothing.

"So, is someone going to tell me how this happened?" She points up to the dent in the plaster of the
wall above her. He feels a smirk form on his face as he looks up.

He shrugs. "Must have pushed the chair back too hard."

She rolls those deep golden-brown eyes at him, and he smiles.

Merlin, I miss you.

He was used to this feeling. He had felt this way for years. Secretly wanting her. The: all the time
uncomfortable hot feeling and anxiety that surrounded him when she was near. The only thing that
made it different now was that it was more intense because he had her. He knew now what he was
missing out on. And he didn't like it. Not one bit. He was dying to touch her and be touched by her
again. But he wouldn't rush her, even though the maddening woman was taking fucking forever.

"Right. I am sure you pushed something into the wall too hard, but I highly doubt it was a chair.
More than likely, it was whatever gave you that bruise on your chin."

Her eyes drop to the barely-mark, and then move to his lips. Lingering there for longer than normal
until she blinks and meets his eyes.

Fuck… Granger, when you finally come around… The things I am going to do to you… This build-
up you are forcing us into isn't helping either.

You will have to wash your mouth and lips off, though.

Extremely well.

Because even though you are truly addictive, Granger, I will not be putting my mouth, or anything
else of mine, onto an area where the wart's fluid possibly lingers.

He reaches out and tucks a strand of her crazy curls behind her ear.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiles. "Better. These," she motions to the empty vials in his hand. "Help. I can think clearer,
and the other her isn't as strong with them, if that makes any sense."

She whispers the words and looks to the open door. Draco feels his anger bubble up at watching
her feel unsafe. She felt that way because of the fucker she liked to call her best friend. She didn't
feel like she could be honest with the tosser because it seemed like any time she showed any
weakness, or struggle, or just a hard moment, the git fixated on it and used it against her. To prove
some point he wouldn't let go of because he refused to accept what was right in front of him.

I should have killed him.

He had tried to talk Theo into warding him out of the rooms and making him go back to that truly
deplorable safehouse the Disorder was using. But Theo believed that wouldn't be approved by
Granger. For some fucking reason, the woman still kept holding out her hand to the man,
convinced to hurt her.

"Good. I should be back soon, but just in case something comes up, the three left you need to take
at dinner."

Granger lets out a sad noise and nods her head lightly as she plays with the food on her plate.

"I hate this."

He smiles.
Merlin… I love our little inside moments…

"Me too."

"I hate that I need them to function."

"Me too."

"I… I hate how weak I have become."

"Me…"

Wait, what? Fuck… I hate you, Ronald Weasley.

"Granger, you are not weak. You doing this is not weak. Like you have told me, you do whatever
is necessary to survive."

He reaches out and grabs her chin and lifts it, so she is looking at him.

"You are strong, Granger. You are the strongest person I bloody know. And you realizing and
taking steps to make sure you are taking care of yourself during this… fucked up life we are forced
to live is not weak. It is the exact opposite of weak."

Please believe me. Let my words take root in who you believe you are instead of his horrible ones.

He wants to kiss her. Touch her. Suck on her. Feel her. Remind her of what she had been becoming
before the wankers came. Remind her of the fire that lived inside of her, that she always unleashed
when they were close.

She was still that person. She was still all those things, even if she couldn't be them every moment
of every day.

"There you go leaving me speechless, Malfoy."

"And as I always say, get used to it, Granger."

"I don't want to."

She smiles softly at him before putting her damn pet into his lap and standing to put her plate in the
sink. The wanker adjacent had placed those charms her mother created on all of his clothes, but he
still didn't want the blasted thing on him.

He places it down on the ground and rises, following her back into their room, where Theo and
Red have a line of Theo's knickknacks lying in front of them.
"No, Teddy! For fuck's sake, you are no good with your hands, are you? Like this."

Weaselette reaches over, grabs Theo's hand holding his wand, and maneuvers it in front of him at
the item.

Holy shit!

Draco looks over to see Granger's face of shock that probably matches his. Theo was letting her
touch him. Holy fuck, that was huge. The only other person he had ever seen Theo allow to touch
him rather than himself had been Granger, and that had flown out the window after the first
spectacle.

"I am very good with my hands, Gingersnap. Your mum just has a different way of casting than I
am used to."

Merlin's tits… I think that is Theo's version of flirting…

And… damn, the Weaselette seems to like it.

Red throws her head back and laughs hard as she watches him maneuver his wand again all wrong.

"Okay, then you are no good at maneuvering your wand. Blimey, weren't you supposed to be Head
Boy with Hermione? Aren't you supposed to be bloody brilliant?"

"I am brilliant! Maybe you are just a bad teacher."

The ginger scoffs and then looks up at him. "Come here, ferret. Let me test Teddy's theory."

Draco moves over to the two and pulls out his wand. This was ridiculous. He had no desire to learn
some hand-me-down Weasley charm, but Theo had been a wingman for him for two months.
Draco could return the favor.

"Okay, so you wave your wand in this pattern…"

He copies her movements.

"And then you say 'Custodire Baculum.'"

Draco follows her instructions, and the redhead grabs a handful of dirt that he has no idea where
she got from and throws it onto the painting. Theo yelps and tries to cover up his collector's piece
with his body, but the dirt just slides off the painting and onto the floor.

"Looks like you're the problem, Teddy."

"Go easy on him, Red. I have more experience with my wand."

Draco winks at Nott as he sees the amusement come over the ginger's face as she recognizes the
innuendo. Theo of course, does not, as he is too concentrated on getting the wand movements
correct.

He had asked him the other night what a sugar daddy was, and Draco almost died from choking on
his cigarette.

He told him it was just another slang term for a male friend. The bloke still has no idea.

"Malfoy, stop."

He looks down to his side at the tiny brunette shaking her head. He moves down next to her ear.
"What, Granger? You know firsthand how good I am with my wand."

The flush that covers her cheeks and her chest is almost instantaneous.

"You sure you don't want me coming with you to the meeting?'

Draco nods his head as he accio's for his robes. "Yes, I am sure. We need to keep researching what
exactly the Dark Lord is trying to do with Granger if she will be staying with us."

Hopefully, they would be able to get the sword and kill the madman by then, but just in case.

He pulls on his robes and moves to button them.

"I think that whatever they are doing or trying is not working because you gave me my magic back,
Theo." Granger moves in front of him as she is talking and thinking hard. She reaches out and starts
buttoning his robes for him, and his hands freeze where they are as he watches her pop one button
in after another. Transfixed by what is happening. "It has to be if whatever he has created is
working on the blood he took from me while I was his. It is the only thing that makes sense. So I
think we should focus on…oh damn… uhh yeah."

Her hands freeze as it hits her what she is doing, but she is already on the last button, and the entire
room is completely silent as they watch her ministrations.

He was quite certain the Weaselette was aware that something had happened between them
because Granger was doing a shit job of keeping her own little secret, and he was perfectly fine
with that.

"Sorry." She whispers as she lowers her hands and rubs them on her upper thighs.

"All part of the deal, Granger."

Her hands freeze, and she smirks up at him.

Just let yourself choose me already.

"You better get going. Stay alive, Malfoy."

Draco decides at that moment to add her kissing him goodbye every time he leaves as a new
stipulation in their deal. When he was able to enjoy the perks of that deal again.

He shoots her a wink before stepping into the floo.

Amycus Carrow was not a hard man to find. His voice tended to travel due to its booming sound
that made most people step back as he spoke. It came in handy for finding the Carrow Cock.

The meeting was pushed back due to half of the scouting unit being out on a lead.

Draco knew they would find nothing. Part of his agreement with the Disorder was to give them
updates and warnings when safe houses were compromised. It was easy enough to convince the
Carrow Cunt to send him every piece of lead information as well, under the lie that he was doing
research independently for the Dark Lord. The hag was much more agreeable after being fake
fucked.

If Draco thought he was busy before, being an agent for both sides proved how wrong he had been.
Plus the fucking Disorder was a needy group. Honestly, in utter shambles, just like the deplorable
shack they were calling a safe house.

Even though most of the group had no idea their Chosen One was now the Dead One, it was
obvious why No One supported them in their cause. Kingsley had lost the one advantage he had in
Potter. Even with the Polyjuice potioned Neville impersonating scarhead, it wasn't enough.

Apparently, the memories of the Dark Lord's appearance had been helping substantially. Kingsley
associated them as a change in the trajectory of the war. They were currently using them to create
agreements with the council in Russia and Italy to try to ascertain the army after the Dark Lord was
no longer alive. Even adding to the aid of saving Muggle and Muggle-borns in Western Europe.

It was a doable plan. One that Kingsley and Aberforth raved about in a way that showed Draco the
men could not be trusted. He knew what a man with ulterior motives looked like. He was one of
them.

If only the fucking group would use more than hexes and immobility spells in combat.

"Ah! Little Malfoy! Heard you were having problems with your new acquisition the other day. She
is a wild one, isn't she?"

Amycus Carrow is pouring himself a drink from the bar cart off to the side of the room as Draco
walks in and heads towards him. The fucker extends a cigarette pack that he declines.

"Yes." He says.

He would have to play nice today with a man who had raped his girl. He hated his life. He had
spent the walk occluding deeply to prepare himself not to destroy everything and just kill the man
like he longed to do.

I am going to kill you, Carrow Cock.

"A rough fuck with a crucio during climax always worked for Antonin and me to get her back
under control. Did he share that sweet trick with you?"
Draco is reaching for his wand and reciting the Killing Curse in his mind with such ferocity that he
is convinced he could make it work without even audibly saying the syllables.

No. No. No!

Stop fucking talking about her.

Stop telling me things… making me imagine things…

I will never be able to unsee.

I am so sorry, Granger.

Occlude, damn it.

For her.

The bastard and the other two who had hurt his girl needed to die soon. It was time to make that
priority for him. It was tricky though; if it seemed the Disorder was responsible for the deaths,
they would take it out on Granger as they had before with the France situation. And he did not want
to do anything that would hurt his beautiful witch. She had been hurt enough.

He closes his eyes and tucks away everything that made him who he wanted to be until he feels
empty inside. Hollow. Able to continue with the plan with words like that, events like that, being
shared with him.

"No need to play coy with me, Malfoy. We all know you are fucking her too. I get it, though, not
wanting to do that in front of your father, although she is quite impressive, isn't she?"

Occlude. Occlude. Occlude.

Cold. Cold. Cold.

"How many recruits do you have finishing their 7th year?" He asks, needing to change the subject.

The Carrow Cock shakes his head as he swallows some of his liquor. "Almost as many as the
whole scouting unit we have right now. I advised the Dark Lord that some of the more gifted
students should be placed under apprenticeship positions with the high-ranking Death Eaters.
Preferably of the opposite sex as well. Talk about a morale booster."

The two men move over to the large table surrounded by chairs. Carrow Cunt is sitting at the head
looking over paperwork, and Blaise walks in from the hallway with a few others in the scouting
unit. He was always silent during these meetings. The dark-skinned man looks up, nods his head
before taking a seat, and turns his attention to a book.

"Do they all understand what role they will be playing after school?"

Draco sits, and the Carrow Cock chooses the chair next to him, to his frustration. He didn't want to
be close to him. He didn't want to see his hands. Hands that had touched his witch. He didn't want
to see his mouth quirk and smile. A mouth that had been on his girl.

MineMineMineMine.

I cannot wait to prove to all of you how dangerous you have made me…

"No. We have had some problems with their cooperation and understanding. Most of them go off
about how they plan to go home, or marry, or whatnot afterward. I hope that the training program
we place them in directly after Hogwarts will help."

"Would you like me to come and talk to them? Possibly give them a demonstration and explanation
of perks the life of a young Death Eater provides?"

Carrow Cock sets down his drink and smiles up at him. "You know, that is a great idea. It is much
easier to control them when they believe it is something they want. Could you do a demonstration
of your curse as well? They have all been buzzing about the place talking about you."

Draco nods his head and grabs the stack of parchment sitting in front of his chair on the table.

"I'll send you an owl later today, but how does sometime next week sound? The end of term is
coming up, so it would have to be soon."

"Next week will work. I will bring Theodore Nott Jr. with me to help with demonstrations."

That went as well as he could have pictured it going. Not too many things went this easy in his
life…

"Bring the Malfoy Mare with you too."

Draco turns and gives the man tilting his head and whispering at him, a puzzling look.

He has no idea why one of the horses would be something to bring to convince the students that
life as a Death Eater was not as terrible as the horrible name inferred.

"Why would I need to bring a horse to try to…"

"I am not talking about a horse, Draco… I am talking about your personal mare, you know. The
one you are riding every night. The Malfoy Mare. Slips off the tongue better than…" The man
looks around and tilts closer as he whispers, "Mudblood, don't you think? Plus, Antonin hates it,
which is another reason I say the new name for her as often as possible."

Did he just…

Fuck no.

No!

That isn't a name fitting to her. She is the Golden Girl, Brightest Witch of Our Age, part of the
Golden Trio, the Gryffindor Princess.
She is hope.

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

"No." Draco flips over a page, like he is done with the conversation, giving his full attention to the
parchment that his slightly shaking hands are holding.

Meanwhile, he feels his body freezing, becoming colder, harder, tighter as he occludes. Occludes to
make sure he doesn't blow everything. But he wants to. Merlin, he needs to. He needs to kill at least
one of these bastards, and soon.

"Not up for debate, little Malfoy. She comes. It would be a great incentive for the younger boys to
see. Not many 17 and 18-year-old blokes care too much about blood purity, but they do care about
cunt. So seeing that little benefit, I know you are enjoying thoroughly, will be very convincing for
them. Disguised of course. Make her wear some mask or change that mane of hers. Oh, and make
sure she looks good. No bruises or missing skin and whatnot. Make her look deliciously fuckable
like I know she can look. I miss seeing her like that."

Occlude. Occlude. Occlude.

They are just words.

She is safe.

Nothing is happening to her anymore.

She is safe.

He grinds his teeth together. "We can discuss details via owl later, Carrow."

The man shakes his head in agreement and places his drink on the table. "Good. I will inform the
Dark Lord of our plans as well. I am sure he will be happy to hear about your extra steps of
dedication to the cause."

Oh, how wrong the man was. If all went as planned, the noseless git would be dead before long.

It was weird being a part of a meeting discussing a future he was now actively trying to stop. He
had agreed to all their requests. For him to lead classes and fake raid simulations for those selected
to become strategists to work through and test their skills. Hell, he even agreed to teach alongside
Fucker Flint.

Just more motivation to end all this.

He is up to 4,572 taps of his index finger against the table when he finally hears Carrow Cunt
dismiss them. He grabs the papers he would need to find time to work on and walks quickly
towards the floo.
"So what's at Hogwarts that you need?"

Draco turns and sees Blaise coming up beside him, looking around to make sure no one is
listening.

"This is one of those situations where it is best you stay out of it, Zabini."

The man grabs hold of his shoulder and pulls him into an alcove. "Okay fine Frosty. I get it. But I
will tell you that the security there is Azkaban level intense."

Like he didn't already know that. The blueprints and mapped out paths and rotations the Disorder
gave them had actually been impressive. Disheartening, but impressive. There was no way to sneak
in. It was like his family manor.

"Trust me. I am aware. Hence why I made sure to be invited in."

Draco tries to move again, but Blaise reaches out and stops him.

"Yeah, but even on the inside, mate, the place is a prison. You'd have to be nothing short of
invisible to get through the school."

Draco can't help the smirk that appears on his face. Invisible was exactly right. Invisible was the
plan. Merlin knew the wanker, and wanker adjacent had plenty of experience throughout their
Hogwarts careers underneath that damn cloak. Apparently, the Weaselette took most of Potter's
belongings after he died and even had some map that shows where people are within the castle. No
wonder the dead fucker always knew where to find him during 6th year.

"I have this handled, Zabini. If I need your help, I will let you know." He turns out of the alcove
and heads towards the fireplace.

Blaise scoffs. "Sure you will. Are we on for gambling night this weekend?"

Draco freezes.

Fuck. They can't see that we are currently housing three mangy red-haired creatures.

"No."

This gets a loud and frustrated huff from the man next to him. "Why this time? And why is Nott's
floo closed off to us? I tried popping in the other day to inform you of how the rest of the mission
went that you left me with fucking Flint on, but I wasn't allowed through. Afraid I'm going to catch
you in the act with Granger? I have..."

"Just let it go for now, Zabini. We have good reasons for doing what we are." He throws the
powder into the fireplace and floos into their room.

It is empty, which is different from normal. He doesn't hear anyone either, and for a brief moment,
he convinces himself that something is terribly wrong before he hears someone laugh down the
hallway.
Her laugh.

She is laughing.

Thank Merlin… It better not be at the weasel.

He always hated leaving but found that feeling growing due to the wanker currently living with
them. He really needed that to change as soon as possible as well.

As he enters the library, he sees Granger lying on the floor, a large book in front of her, with the
hideous red-haired creature to her left, and Crookshanks to her right.

The wanker is busy writing down something she is pointing at within the book, and Draco feels his
anger course through his body as he watches the Weasel nod his head and lean in closer.

She said your name, Malfoy.

She said your name.

Not his.

So stay the bigger man unless the git needs to be put in his place.

Theo and Red are sitting next to each other at the table, both deep into books themselves. Theo is
the first to notice him walking in.

"Welcome back, handsome! You have a pack on you? I smoked my last one yesterday."

Draco digs into his pocket and takes two sticks out before throwing the box to Theo.

Granger turns and beams at him, and he feels that anger, and the walls of his deep occlusion from
earlier, subside as those golden eyes take him in and give him their full attention.

"How did it go? Glad you are still alive, Malfoy." She pats the spot next to her and nudges her
kneazle out of the way.

I would much prefer you tell the other redhead to bugger off, Granger.

He sits down next to her, placing one of the sticks into his mouth and lighting it. "Fine."

"Going to need more than that like usual, Draco." Theo exhales a puff of smoke as he and
Weaselette walk over and sit down with their books in front of them.

Two tables, four chairs, one settee, two loungers, and they all are sitting on the damn floor.
Only Granger...

"He agreed. We are in. He is owling me soon with more information."

Draco leans over closer to Granger and holds out the other stick he grabbed. She looks down and
opens her mouth, leaning forward, and placing it between her lips.

Then she waits.

He looks at her as she raises her eyebrows at him and tilts her head closer.

I light your cigarettes...

'Deal.'

Merlin Granger, just fucking end this already.

He raises his hand and watches the end begin to darken and flash.

"Thanks, Malfoy."

"What the fuck ‘Mione? You smoke now?"

He watches his witch roll her eyes and hold out the stick with her hand, which elicits a groan from
Theo across from her before she responds.

"Yes Ronald, I smoke every now and again."

"Yeah, sure you do, Hermione. If you want to classify, you holding that stick so awfully wrong
smoking. Shit, loosen your hold for Merlin's sake!"

Granger laughs and exhales a long tendril of smoke between her puckered lips, and Draco catches
his mouth falling open before anyone else notices.

Fuck, he was out of control. He feels like a starving man watching those edible lips workaround
that stick. Remembering how they felt on his mouth, his neck, his chest, his…

"Hand me one, Teddy."

The wanker sits up and looks between his sister and Granger unbelievingly. Theo glances at Red's
outstretched hand before giving her one of his half-smiles, and pulling the pack out of his front
pocket.

"I am guessing you have never smoked before either?"

"No, I have, but only once, and when my mum smelled it on my clothes, she boxed my ears in."
She grabs the stick out of his hand, places it into her mouth, and lights it.

"I can't believe you both right now! Smoking? Really? Neither of you can ever comment on my
drinking again."
Granger elbows the wanker as she sits up and places her book in her lap. "Having a cigarette every
now and again is completely different than needing to drink to get through a day, Ronald."

The Weaselette starts coughing loudly as she pulls the cigarette out of her mouth and covers it with
her hand. Theo barks out a laugh and gently hits her on the back a few times as she spurts through
the exhale.

“Easy there Gingersnap. Not all at once. Shallow breaths to start out with okay, like this."

Theo places his stick between his lips and inhales quickly before pulling it back out of his mouth
and exhaling, creating his signature rings that fall one through the other in front of him. Draco sees
the ginger's eyes widen and scan over his mate with a different look than he had ever seen the girl
give anyone. The woman was a predator. He recognized that.

"Damn Teddy, that was cool. And I expect you to show me how to do that once I get the hang of
this." She pulls the cigarette out and holds it between her fingers as wrong as Granger does.

"That'll take some time to get down, but this." Theo takes her hand, places the stick between her
fingers, and tilts her wrist slightly. "You and Granger with holding a damn stick like it will
explode. Looser Ginevra, like this, like that stick is exactly where it is supposed to be."

He demonstrates with his own hand, and she copies it pretty well before taking another drag, this
time not coughing at all, and placing the stick back between her two fingers in the way he knew
Theo believed to be correct.

His brother lights up and gives her a full smile before raising his cigarette towards her and nodding
his head. "A natural Ginevra. We can be smoking buddies now. You are much less embarrassing
than Hermione, who still holds her stick wrong. I swear you are doing it on purpose, you evil
witch."

Draco has no doubt his girl was. The beautiful brunette flashes Theo a coy smile before obviously
holding out her stick and exhaling. Theo rolls his eyes, picks up his book, and places it in his lap.

"Seriously, Hermione, stop. This isn't you. You don't bloody smoke. It looks… so wrong. Here,
give it to me."

I should have killed him.

Ron holds out his hand and reaches toward Granger's face. How dare he? How fucking dare he?

She grabs his wrist before he reaches her stick and leans back, looking surprised at her so-called
friend.

"I do smoke now, Ron. It is a new piece of myself I made. Deal with it."

My fucking witch.

He can't help the smile he feels on his face as she drops the wanker's hand and dismisses him with
confidence, assurance, and power. It was like she gave the man her middle finger, and Draco was
living for it.

That's it, don't let him make you feel small.

"So when are we giving this presentation at Hogwarts?"

Draco looks back over to Theo as he grabs one of the books from the other snake's libraries and
opens it. "Presumably next week. He is speaking with the Dark Lord first."

"No problems then?"

He pauses, flipping to a chapter indicating a focus of potions for the mind. No way in hell was he
going to tell them about the Carrow Cock's stipulation. Granger didn't need to know. If she did, she
would go all Gryffindor on him, and demand until they all caved in that she would be going.

The madwoman already fucking wanted to go and was only sedated by her desires because there
really was no way to explain her presence if she was not supposed to be there. And the cloak was
not big enough for the three of them.

If she learned her presence was now expected, she would jump at the fucking opportunity. No
way. He would never allow her to be subjected to that again. To be treated like that again. The
spectacles were enough. They were more than enough. He barely could contain himself during
those, let alone have to participate as one of the fuckers who was using her. Absolutely no fucking
way.

He knows that the Dark Lord will probably agree with Carrow Cocks desires. He didn't need the
owl to guarantee that. Draco would need to talk to Theo and… maybe Red. Maybe she would agree
with the plan he was slowly putting together.

"No. Carrow believes it will help persuade the young students to join willingly. He will be owling
me later today with the specifics."

Draco makes the mistake of looking up and making eye contact with his brother. Fuck, the man
could see right through him, couldn't he?

He slightly shakes his head at the snake, hoping he understands.

Not now, Nott. Trust me. Not now.

"He is probably twisting it to seem like it was his idea to You Know Who as we speak. He was
always trying to figure out ways to climb rank when I was with him."

Draco feels his occlumency walls shake as Granger speaks. She had been with him too. Had been
owned by him, and alone with him and… He closes his eyes and builds and secures those walls.
She didn't need him losing it right now.

She never shared anything about the Carrow Cock with him. It was always Dolohov that filled her
nightmares and was usually the perpetrator in her stories and memories.

"Wait what? 'Mione, were you with Carrow too?" The wanker turns, and his face becomes paler as
it hits him that Dolohov was not the only man who hurt her so terribly.

"Yes." Granger closes her eyes. "Rather than Dolohov, he… he would do things to me the most.
And he is who I was with primarily for the month before Theo and Malfoy found me. But he… He
didn't get off very much on… on hurting me. It was easier with him. Merlin fuck, that is so
screwed up to say out loud, sorry."

He can't stop himself from reaching out and rubbing her arm. Damn their stupid fucking secret. He
wanted to grab her, consume her, squeeze her. To make her feel safe. To make her feel cherished.
To make her feel put together.

"Sounds honest to me." Theo exhales his cigarette and leans back on one of his hands, shrugging.
"I came to prefer my father being drunk and attacking me. I actually tried to make sure he drank all
the time because he was sloppier with his brutality, and I would much prefer to have some half-
arsed punch to the face, than an anger-filled, clear-thinking one. It was easier."

Granger looks up and gives Theo a soft smile while also acknowledging the darkness of his past
with the tear that escapes her left eye. It was clear why they had become such good friends so
quickly.

"I didn't sleep for weeks after the Battle."

They all turn and face Red, who takes a long drag of her cigarette without coughing. "Started
preferring the way my mind felt empty, felt incapable of holding real thoughts and feelings that
seemed only to happen when I would deprive myself of sleep. I knew it wasn't a good thing, but it
was better than… than accepting it all, you know? Then seeing myself still walking and breathing
while I had… It was easier."

Even Draco didn't blame the ginger for what happened to Granger. He could understand having to
be forced to do terrible things to the brilliant woman to keep her alive. Plus, he honestly blamed
Granger more for her hero complex of offering up herself. She was much more valuable than the
ginger or even the giant. One of them should have stayed back. Not the one witch who had the
power to change the fucking world if given the opportunity.

"I drink to make your screaming stop. To make Harry's moaning stop."

They all look over to the Weasel, who is staring at Granger. "I hear it all the time, anytime my
head is clear, but the alcohol muffles it, makes it bearable, makes it all easier."

He sees Granger and Red crying, and even the Weasel's eyes are watering slightly. They all tilt
their gazes up to him.

Oh, fuck no. I am not joining in on this.

Couldn't even if I wanted to with these damn walls.

"You should all learn how to occlude. It makes everything easier."

He hears Theo and the wanker scoff at him while Weaselette nods her head in agreement before
they all turn back to their books.

The only person still staring at him is Granger. She is looking at him with a face he knows she
hates when people give it to her. One he hates just as much. It is full of pity.

"Like you tell me Granger, don't look at me like that."

She blinks and shakes her head even though he knows the woman disagrees with him.

"Have you guys found anything?"

Theo huffs and dramatically throws the book into the space between them.

"Nothing. Not even a guess at this point. I agree with Hermione that the reason she isn't currently
being used in whatever way the Dark Lord wants her is because we broke the spell on her magic.
Like that is the first step or something in the ritual they are trying to do. But that is as far as we get.
Whatever they are doing, it hasn't been done before, which makes researching it an absolute bitch."

None of this was good news. Why would the Dark Lord have a fixation on Granger? Why her?
Why now? He seemed desperate for whatever it was. Draco assumed it had something to do with
his health. Why else would it be so pertinent, so dire? But how could Granger, of all people, solve
that for him? It was hard to make sense of the wants and desires of a raging madman, and Draco
assumes his failing health was not helping his mental state.

"I think we need to start trying a different approach. I think we need to start talking again."

Draco jerks his head up at his mate across from him, who is already giving him a knowing look.
He knows what Theo means. They needed to do what they had both done for six months, trying to
find Granger. They needed to start talking to every Death Eater they could find and getting as
much information as possible.

"I know it didn't work out the greatest for us the first time, but I don't see another option until I can
maybe get back into my father's study."

"What was the first time? What happened?"

You happened, Granger.

Everything that happened to you.

My fault. My fault. My fault.

Draco runs his hand through his hair and doesn't look up from the book in his lap, even though he
can feel her golden eyes digging into his skull.

Theo gives him a hesitant expression. "We just didn't ever learn anything by talking, that's all. But
I think more people are involved in this. We may have a better shot."

"I'll think about it."

It was dangerous to talk to others. There was no comradery in the Death Eater army, only people
willing to throw anyone under a bus to advance themselves like Carrow Cock. No one could be
trusted. So to talk to fellow Death Eaters was always dangerous and something he never felt
comfortable having Theo do. Mainly because the bloody bloke was a genius but couldn't keep calm
in conversations with people he genuinely liked most of the time, let alone try to use conversation
to get what he wanted. That was more Draco's area of expertise.

"'Mione, could you make some more of your mum's hot…"

Granger shoots at the redhead and covers his mouth with her hand for some reason Draco is unsure
of. The man looks terrified, as he should be, due to the anger written across Granger's face. Even
Draco has no idea what he did to make her look at him like that. The man breathing was enough for
him.

She leans down next to his face and starts whispering something into his ear, and Draco has to
remind himself 17 times that the woman needed a low-stress environment, and him killing her best
friend in front of her would not be qualified as a low-stress event.

The wanker's facial expressions help Draco relax as they change from confused, to bewildered, to
once again scared shitless. She pulls away and glares her daggers into his eyes until he takes in a
large breath of air and nods at her quickly before she releases him.

"You are blimey terrifying woman."

"And don't you forget it. Does anyone want some burnt chocolate?"

Both of Theo's hands shoot up in the air. Granger smiles and gets up to go to the kitchen.

"What's burnt chocolate?"

"Oh Gingersnap, you haven't lived til you have some of Hermione's amazing drink! Just you wait.
Make it a large pot, please!"

"Of course, Theo. Malfoy, can you come help me?"

He blinks with surprise. She didn't need help. She had made probably close to 20 batches of the
drink since being here and had never asked or wanted help. The girl wanted to be with him, alone.

Fuck yes.

Sounds like a great idea to me, Granger.

He nods his head and follows her into the kitchen. Draco stands in the doorway, watching her take
out the large pot and turn on the oven before opening up the fridge.

She seemed to be doing well today. Still in pretty good spirits considering everything.

"You okay?"

He watches her nod her head as she pours some of the ingredients into the pot. Theo would be
badgering him later for all the details as if Draco had any idea what things she was throwing in
there.
"Yes. Sometimes, it gets hard for a little while, but being around everyone helps." She turns and
leans across from him onto the counter, placing her hands on her hips with a face of deep
concentration. "You are occluded deep right now, aren't you?"

He didn't expect her to say that. He nods his head, not really understanding where this conversation
was going.

"Did… did he say anything to you… about… about me that made you… do this to yourself?"

You have no fucking idea, Granger…

Malfoy Mare…

Cruiciatus during climax…

Deliciously fuckable…

"No," he lies. "I did this to ensure if something was said, or something did happen, I was prepared."

The beautiful brunette pulls her bottom lip into her mouth as she agrees, and her eyes start darting
in a way that shows Draco, the woman's mind was working at incredible speed.

He moves forward and places his hands on her upper arms, trying to ground her in whatever was
taking over her thoughts.

"Then can you stop, please?" She suddenly whispers.

"Stop what? "

"Occluding. Shutting down your emotions. I can see it, Malfoy. The silver in your eyes, it
disappears, and you… you look more like you did in 6th year, and I can't stand to see you look like
that. So please, since you are here, now, safe, can you please stop?"

Draco doesn't know what to say to her. She was right, like fucking always. He had them up when
he was anywhere near the Dark Lord or other Death Eaters. Honestly, he had walls up ever since
he was 15 and needed to learn how to keep her and others safe.

"I… I don't know how Granger."

He really doesn't. Some of them had been up for so long, were holding in such horrible, painful,
heavy moments and feelings and… he couldn't take them down. The walls weren't just walls
anymore. They were embedded into him. They had become a part of who he was. He didn't know
who he would be without them. He could take down some. She had the power to take down more
than anyone else ever had, but even she couldn't get some of them to fall. He doesn't think he is
even capable of doing that anymore.

She closes her eyes and leans forward. She keeps leaning until her head rests against his chest, and
Draco stops breathing. She hadn't done this since they brought the Weasley's back.

Yes Granger, touch me. Please… I miss you touching me.

"Just some of them. Please Malfoy. At least the ones you put up today. I hate seeing you like this. I
hate it."

He wraps his arms around her and squeezes her like he had done so many times, and he feels his
body relax in a way that shows him how tense he must have been for days. How many walls he
built without even realizing. How deep he truly had gone. How tense he became without her.

I miss this… Fuck I am truly and undeniably addicted to you, Granger. Please, please keep
touching me.

"Okay."

She pulls away too soon and stirs her pot a few times as she looks into his eyes. He must have been
able to take down enough walls to bring what she called silver back because the entrancing woman
gives him one of her captivating smiles before walking over to the table where her bottomless bag
is slung across the back of the chair.

"I have something for you." Granger sits down on the ground, and Draco walks over to sit beside
her. He has no idea what the woman was planning on giving him.

She places the bag on her lap and pulls out something from the front pocket. It must be small
because he can't see what it is in her tiny enclosed hand. She is giving him a look he doesn't
understand. Maybe amused? A little nervous even?

"I… well, you said you wanted one of these so, here."

She grabs his hand and places the small object inside it. Draco looks down and feels his mind go
blank.

He is entirely empty of everything else as he reads the four uppercase letters.

S.P.E.W.

It is a pin.

One of THE pins from back at Hogwarts.

Laying in his hand.

Just like he asked.

Draco was given many things throughout the years. Very expensive, grandiose items. Honestly,
anything he wanted that could be bought, he knew he could always have, and usually, he got it.
Everything except the dragon he wanted for four Christmases in a row between the ages of 8 and
12, but he didn't blame his parents for that one. He was given the best of everything. The most
prized possessions money could buy. Gifts and gifts and gifts.

But this pin, sitting in his hand now, is undoubtedly the best gift he has ever received.
Fuck Granger… I…

I want to keep you…

Forever.

"You said you wanted one back when… well, at least I think you did. Maybe you didn't. Sorry it's
stupid, here I'll…"

She tries to take the amazing little object back, and he jerks his hand away from her quickly.

"Don't you fucking dare, Granger. You can't take it back now. It's too late. You offered this to me
willingly, so now… it is mine."

And so are you.

He pulls the side of his robe out and unclips the back of the pin. Granger watches as he pokes it
through the material of the inside pocket of his Death Eater robes and hooks it back into the latch.

"What are you doing? You, you can't wear that. What if someone..."

"If a Death Eater is shuffling through the inner pocket of my robes, trust me when I say, I am
already dead, Granger."

Plus, this is worth the risk, in my opinion. Now I can take you with me everywhere.

He places the robes back against his chest, and he savors the feeling of the lump right above where
he knows his heart is. Ironic, he thinks. He looks over to see Granger staring at the spot as well.
But she doesn't look as elated as he is sure he does. She looks a little sick even.

"What's wrong?"

She blinks and shakes her head lightly before plastering on one of her thought, betraying smiles on
her face. It was one of his least favorite things to see her do. But that made him a fucking hypocrite
to point out. Especially since they had just discussed his own betrayals of his own mind.

"Nothing, sorry. So you like it?"

I love it

I love it

I…
 "Fuck yes, Granger. Never plan on taking it off. I didn't know if you were awake or not when I said
that."

He watches as her entire body relaxes, and she leans into his side against the wall and smiles.

"I was awake for that part. I also think I kind of remember you saying you actually wanted to go
camping the other day as well, but I am not sure if that was real or the seizure talking because it
sounds very crazy to me. The Draco Malfoy, admitting that he wants to sleep on the damn ground."

He starts to laugh, and she joins him as he shakes his head.

"Definitely the seizure."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - discussion of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and alcohol abuse. Very disturbing
discussions take place.

Art for this chapter:

”She was still that person.” by Nanis
 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

If they are fucking in his kitchen, he honestly wouldn't even be upset about it. He may even clap.
That is how tired he is of seeing those two circle each other.

He wouldn't even care if they did it on the counter, as long as they did it a healthy and clean
distance from the burnt chocolate. And make it a quick shag because he needs that creamy,
delicious drink soon.

They have already been gone much longer than Theo knows is needed to make the drink, and from
the way Ronald keeps glancing at the doorway, he isn't the only one noticing.

It looks like the bloke is about to storm out of the room at any second, and Theo has no desire to
put Hermione through having Ron walk in on her and Draco shagging. That would be horrible for
her stress levels for sure.

"So Ronald, Hermione has told me you are very good at chess."

Ron takes his gaze off the door and looks in his direction, but his eyes travel right through him.
Theo is used to that look. People gave him that look all the time. He was never the person someone
was excited to see in a room or the life of the party. He was the person who stood in the
background and watched, or was spoken to as a filler between the person someone really wanted to
talk with.

"I was undefeated in our house." Ron looks back down at the notes in front of him and starts to
correct some misspellings.

It was obvious the man had worked alongside Hermione before, but it also was obvious they were
on two different playing fields when it came to researching together; Ron struggled to keep up.

That wasn't a blow at the bloke. Most people would struggle to keep up with the evil witch. Even
Theo found himself sometimes lost with her fast-working mind.

"Draco and I like to play as well. I have a set in the game room if you ever want to play?"

"No."

Theo rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He had been nice to the bloke ever since he came. Even
when Ron was living up to the drunk description Hermione gave him, he really tried to be. Because
Theo feels bad for the man. He can see he isn't a bad guy, just really hurting. Unfortunately, he
chose to throw all that hurt onto everyone around him instead of reaching out for help.

"Okay… I actually have something for the two of you to read, to help Hermione if you want."
Theo pulls the book he picked up from Hermione and Draco's room this morning and holds it out
to Ron. "Draco and I read this book when we first found Hermione to try to help her and also to
better understand what she is going through. Thought it might help you two as well."

The ginger looks from the book to him again before sneering and shaking his head.

"Hell no."
And why am I not surprised...

Ginevra grunts and takes the book out of his hands. "You are such a prat, Ron! You are so
miserable because that is all you allow yourself to be until you get exactly what you want. Teddy is
being very nice to you. The least you could do is…"

"I am not going to pretend to like him, Gin. I am not going to pretend I trust either of them."

Theo rolls his eyes again as the man talks like he is not even in the room. Trust was never
something that kept people from liking him. That is a new reason to add to the many he knew
people used for staying away from him.

Theo lets out a yawn and runs his hand over his face. He is drained. The ache in his bones and head
is a dead giveaway that he had topped out. He never wanted to live with this many people again in
his life. Not one part of him enjoyed it. They were everywhere, always. Somehow, even though the
rooms outnumbered the people, they were never empty for long. He didn't even have his room to
himself anymore. He wanted to take back all the times he complained after gambling night that he
needed a break from people. Today, at this moment, he was sure he was at his breaking point.

What excuse can I come up with to get out of these rooms with all these people?

"I need to take a trip down to the potions room to restock my healing kit and get some potions I
think may be helpful for our mission to Hogwarts."

He stands up and watches as Ron does the same.

"I need to contact The Order and discuss logistics with Neville."

He nods his head, and Ginevra follows them as they all exit the library and start down the hallway.
Theo feels his anxiety spike as Ron takes the lead.

Shit… I need to warn them, just in case they are in a compromising position.

"Burnt chocolate!!" He yells it so loud that the ginger in front of him jumps and turns to give him a
bewildered look.

He didn't blame him. He realized how crazy he sounded. It was obvious that Ron did not want to
be friends with him, so why even try? He would rather protect the relationships he had.

"You are a weird bloke…" Ron says as he turns his head and starts walking down the hall.

"I have heard a lot worse, Ronald Weasley."

"Don't listen to him, Teddy. He wouldn't know what cool was if it hit him in the face."
He smiles and looks back at the Gingersnap, who winks at him. She is wearing some outfit she had
purchased that he believes is more suited for sporting events, but she seemed to like it, which is all
that really mattered.

Though, he had made her responsible for cleaning up all the droppings from the 32 owls that flew
in with package after package for her over the past couple of days. She really tried to run him dry.
He didn't mind.

As no surprise to Theo, Ron turns to the kitchen where Hermione and Draco are supposed to be
before heading to the floo. Theo follows, hoping he screamed loud enough to get them to separate
from each other, but as Ron pauses in the doorway, looking shocked, he is convinced he failed.

Shit… please let Hermione be on top, please let Hermione be on top. I don't think I can live if I see
Draco's pale back with a crack…

He walks up and squints over Ron's shoulder to see both of them fully clothed and sitting on the
floor.

Thank Merlin.

Theo lets out the breath he was holding. He has no idea why Ron was giving them such a surprised
look. All the two are doing is sitting on the floor, and apparently, Draco must have said something
funny because the brunette is laughing at him. Seemed completely innocent in his opinion.

"Is the burnt chocolate done?"

He shoves past Ronald, still standing, mouth open, in the doorway. Hermione and Draco finally
notice that they are not alone, and Hermione nods her head and rises to pour him a glass.

"Yes. Sorry."

She hands him the bowl mug, and he drinks over half of it, holding it out for more before she can
pour a mug full for the others patiently waiting. She laughs again and fills it to the brim this time.

"'Mione, do you want to come talk to Neville with me? We can go over more of what our end of the
mission is too. Get your insight."

Hermione turns and hands the others a mug and nods at Ron. "Sure, Ron. I'll be there in a few
minutes."

Theo sees the ginger look from Hermione and then back at the blonde leaning against the counter
next to her, looking down at the floor.

The bastard had lied earlier. Theo knew him well enough to know that. He also knew that Draco
was aware that he knew. So that meant he must plan on talking to him about whatever was
happening that he was once again keeping from Hermione. This wasn't good. Situations like this
never were. They always ended up with one of them getting hurt.
I am really getting fucking sick of all this…

"You look tired, Theo. Do you need a solitude break like before?'

He blinks and looks up, not realizing he had been staring at a space in front of him for some time
as the people around him continued to speak. He did that every now and again. Just left the room
where things were happening and went somewhere much quieter in his mind. It was one of his
favorite things he found himself naturally capable of doing.

"I am actually going to run down to the potions room and stock up on some items I think we will
need."

Hermione moves to stand next to Draco as she takes a sip of her drink, and Ron lets out an annoyed
huff as he exits the room. The man didn't smell too strongly of alcohol this morning, but Theo isn't
sure if that is because he was getting used to the smell or if Ron had cut back. Theo would wager
on the first.

He looks over to see Ginevra staring down at her drink, looking perplexed.

Does she not like it? If you don't like the drink, honestly, it may completely change my opinion of
you Gingersnap.

"Do you not like it, Ginevra?"

She looks up at him and then looks toward Hermione. "No, it's very good, but… Burnt chocolate,
you say?"

"Yes, Ginny. Burnt chocolate. That is what the drink is called."

The redhead just stares at her friend for a second, and once again, Theo is lost.

"I'll be back in probably an hour or so."

Or longer, honestly. He planned on taking his good ole' time. Maybe reacquainting himself with
the complex process of expanding his house to include an extra couple of rooms. Because he truly
was beginning to feel the walls closing in on him.

Draco lifts his head and looks directly at him with an expression Theo doesn't understand. He
keeps glaring at him, then darts his eyes over to the Gingersnap and back to him.

What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean, mate? I usually can follow you, but I am lost at the
moment.

The man does it again, this time raising his eyebrows like a 'come on Nott' kind of meaning.
Sorry Draco, I'm lost. You'll have to tell me later. Along with whatever dark and twisty secret you
are keeping from Hermione.

He shrugs at his brother, who shakes his head as he takes another sip from his glass. Theo turns to
leave, but he stops and watches the woman down her entire drink.

You want to ask her…

"Ginevra, do you want to come with me?"

Wait, what? No Theo boy… Not too many people will want to spend hours in a muggy smelly little
room while you rattle off about things only you find important. Shit, you probably made her feel
obliga…

His thoughts halt as she smiles up at him and nods her head.

"Sure! Field trips seem to be our thing, Teddy. Let me go grab the cloak."

He reaches out and takes her mug before she leaves. As he turns around, he is met with the
smirking faces of his two best friends.

"What?"

Draco opens his mouth to say something, but the evil witch nudges him in the side hard with her
elbow, and he grunts.

"Nothing Theo. Here I'll take that." He hands her the mug, still careful to make sure their hands do
not touch. "Don't let Ginny mix potions. Sometimes, she did that back at Hogwarts to see what
would happen, and it landed her in the infirmary more than once."

Bloody Gryffindors and their death wishes.

"Don't worry; we will be fine. See you guys in a bit."

He accio's his healing kit and starts to walk to the door. Ginevra meets him in the hallway as just a
head, and he laughs at her as he casts the detection charm. Like usual, no one is home.

"Okay, so keep quiet until we get in the potion room. I have it warded to disappear if someone is in
it, so we should be safe then."
The woman nods her head before making it disappear into the cloak. She had no idea the house of
horrors she was currently in, but he had given her enough info not to make her question why he
requested her silence.

He motions for the now invisible girl to follow him and shuts the door.

Neither of them speaks as they make their way down the route that usually caused him the most
pain.

What a shitty ironic circle his life is.

To have the path he had to take to heal, to survive, be the one that hurt him the most.

"Mother killer."

Oh shit…

"It should have been you both. Your father should have thrown you in the pond before anyone
knew of your existence."

"I still think that paternity charm could have been wrong; his father should do it again."

Theo doesn't look up at the portraits. who are in their frames currently. Usually, their words didn't
affect him. He hadn't been lying earlier when he admitted he had been called much worse to
Ronald. He was used to it. But knowing that Ginevra was hearing them, witnessing it as well,
makes his breaths become shallower. He needed to get to step 189 and now.

The invisible woman doesn't say anything as they make their way down the stairs. As Theo's count
hits 111, he moves closer to the light steps he hears next to him.

Come on, come on. 114, 115, 116…

POP!

Oh shit! No, no, no, shit!

Theo frantically reaches out until he feels the material of the cloak, and without thinking, pushes
her up against the wall and into the shadows of the hallway.

"Wha…"

He shakes his head at the space in front of him. Warning her to stop talking. "My father."
Shit, shit, shit shit!

He pushes his body against hers as he tries to do the math to figure out if they can make it to the
potion room before his father spots him. They have another 73 steps to go. From the floo, it would
take his father approximately 82 steps to get to his office, which was towards the end of the
hallway. He had probably taken at least 15 steps since Theo first heard him, putting him coming
around the corner in less than 20 steps max.

They don't have enough time.

"Theo here."

The invisible woman's hand appears through the cloak, reaches out, and touches the handle of the
closest door in the hallway.

A door.

The door.

The left room door.

Fuck, no stop!

Theo grabs her hand and smashes it against the wall, stopping her from opening the door into the
left room. The room that filled all of his worst nightmares and moments. The room that he would
never go into willingly again.

"Ouch, Teddy wha…"

"Not… not that room… not the… left room… no… I, I can't…"

His breathing becomes impossible, and the dots start appearing. He can't do this. Not now. Not
with her here in front of him. Not with her in danger.

Think Theo think! You have to keep her away from your father. You have to. You have to preserve
her.

He hears footsteps.

He hears the anger in them. Theo learned a long time ago how to tell what kind of mood his father
was in by the way he walked. If they were heavy and clipped, that meant a beating was coming. A
bad one. A sober one. If they were slower and heavy with a slight drag, he was drunk, and Theo
could usually stay safe. If they were measured and steady, he could expect the left room because
the man had a plan for him.

This time, they are hard and clipped.

Shit…

He has less than seven more steps if he calculated correctly, and with the state of his mind, he
wouldn't wager on his accuracy. The monster is about to see him, and the only option he can think
of is to…

Oh, fuck it!

He lets go of Ginevra's wrist and grabs at the invisible material in front of him, trying to find the
opening.

The redhead catches on to what he is trying to do and opens up the cloak, throwing it over the both
of them as he presses them into the wall behind her hard.

The fear, the contact, the heat coming from her, the sound of his father's footsteps, and the
memories all flood him. All consume him. All take his breath away. His vision away. His
awareness away.

He pushes them harder into the wall, trying to become a part of it. Some way, somehow, he needs
to become a part of it. Why wasn't there magic to make him become a part of it?

He feels more than he sees Ginevra pull out her wand and recite what sounded to him like a
silencing charm around them, right as he turns his head and sees his father come around the corner.

He can't see you. He can't see her. Theo, you are fine. She is fine. Breathe in…1 Breathe out..2…

As his father moves closer and looks at an area above the two of them, Theo wraps his arm around
Ginevra and pulls her into him, trying to cover her as much as he can. He was only a few inches
shorter than Draco, but Ginevra was taller than Hermione. He needs her to make herself smaller to
curl into him as much as she can. He needs to cover her completely.

The monster can't see her. The monster can't taint her.

"Theo, it's okay; he can't see…"

He shoots his hand between them and wraps it around her mouth, stopping her from speaking. The
hand is steady. He doesn't understand how his body always became more concrete while his
insides were crumbling and collapsing when these high-stressed moments happened.

The black dots become more prominent, but he can see the Gingersnap's eyes widen, her breath
dampening his palm, her body also steady as they hide from the monster making his way closer to
them.

Nothing is breaking today.

He finally hears the door of his father's office shut, counts his breaths, and relaxes his arms around
the redhead who continues to allow him to pull himself together. He counts each inhale and exhale,
trying to get them under control, trying to get himself to move again, but now that the threat isn't
immediate, the shaking has begun.

"Hey Theo, Theo… I am going to touch you, okay? It is me, Gingersnap, okay?"

He feels hands on his shoulders, and he jerks away from the contact, trying to get away from the
skin.

Skin touching skin. Skin touching skin!

The heavy fabric of the invisibility cloak doesn't allow him to escape the contact by much, but by
enough to only feel her breath against his face. He doesn't like that either. He doesn't like feeling it.
She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't be this close to evil.

"Bloody hell, okay, Theo, okay. Listen, I am going to start walking, just follow the pull of the
cloak. Don't fight it, just walk with it."

His limbs are shaking uncontrollably now. He can't stop them. He can't breathe either. Weird
noises are coming out of his mouth. At least he thinks he is the one making the wheezing whistle.

Breathe in… 155… Breathe out… 156… Breathe in… 157… Breathe out.

Theo feels the weight of the material pull him forward, forcing him to take one step, then another,
then another. He tries to count them. She had no idea where they were going.

17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26… 70, 71, 72, 73.

"Stop; it's the door next to you."

He hears it open, and the weight pulls him inside. He is already falling to the floor before he hears
her shut the door.

She is fine, Theo… You are fine. He can't come in here now that you are both in the room. She is
safe. You are safe.
"Theo, here."

He hears a vial placed on the floor in front of him, and he reaches out blindly, grabs it, and
swallows the contents immediately.

Breathe in 344… Breathe out… 345… Breathe in.. 346.. Breathe out.. Breathe in. 347. Breathe out.
Breathe in 348. Breathe out.

Theo finally opens his eyes and blinks through the spots still growing and moving across his vision
of a worried Ginevra staring back at him.

"What can I do, Theo? What, what can I do to help you?"

Nothing, his fucked up mind thinks automatically. There was no helping him anymore. The
damage was permanent. The effects were staying. This is who he was. This cowering pathetic mess
of a man. She shouldn't be here.

"You shouldn't be here."

He hears her sit down next to him as he closes his eyes again.

"Yeah, well, I always end up where I shouldn't. It is one of my specialties, Teddy."

His body is still shaking. He wishes he would have brought some of the potions and supplements
they had made for Hermione with them. He needed a couple at the moment. Way more than the
calming draught she just gave him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

It.

It.

A two-letter word to summarize his whole horrible existence. It was too broad. It wasn't a
reasonable explanation or summary of what he had been through. It left him at a loss for words.
Where would he even begin? Should he tell her the fork story too? That seemed to work with
Hermione, but Ginevra is not Hermione. She is… she is different.

"Okay, I'll start. You look nothing like your father. Thank fuck too because he is one ugly bastard."

Theo can't help the snort that escapes from his controlled breathing. He really is. "He is definitely
one of those cases where his insides match his outsides."

"Ugh, the worst kinds."

He grins and looks up to see her smiling, leaning back on her hands next to him. She still looks at
him like he is a person. He likes that.

"Hermione bit off part of his ear too, so now he looks even worse."
"She did what?! Merlin's tits that's badarse."

Theo nods his head, and they both enter back into that silence for a while.

He likes silence. Always has. It was a comfort. He knew some people hated it, but not him. And as
he looks over to see Ginevra taking in the room around her, he thinks maybe she doesn't mind it
either. She always seemed comfortable. No matter where she was. The complete opposite of him.
But maybe in this one way, they were similar, similar in the silence of it all.

And he can admit that the quiet is even better with someone next to him, sitting with him in it.

I was right the first time when I said she shouldn't be here, but I'm glad she is.

They sit in the quiet for a while before Theo feels confident enough in himself to stand up and
stretch out his more relaxed muscles and limbs.

"Sorry. For uhh… for touching you and for being a bit forceful. I just… I know what he is capable
of, and I didn't want him seeing you in…"

"Teddy, shut up. What you should be saying is you're welcome. That man didn't stand a chance
between your entire body basically imprinting me into the fucking wall, a silencing charm, and an
invisibility cloak. I'm not the one with a touching rule. You are. Feel free to plaster me to a wall
anytime. The more aggressive, the better."

He chokes on his breath and meets her eyes, which are already wider with amusement. Merlin, the
woman liked to make him squirm, and she was bloody good at it.

Theo lets out a cough, pulls off his kit, and places it on the small apothecary table in the center of
the room.

"Yes, well, I am still sorry you had to witness and go through that just now. I shouldn't have asked
you to come."

He pulls out the list of ingredients and materials he wants to stock. Ginevra moves next to him and
hoists herself up onto the table right beside his bag. For some reason, which confuses Theo to no
end, he doesn't feel his normal emotion of agitation as she places her arse on a surface arses do not
go.

That arse can go anywhere it wan…

Wait, shit, what the fuck?

Why do I sound like Draco?

It is just skin. That's all. Skin covering bones.

Nothing special.

And remember Theo, you don't like skin.

Bloody horny fucker is rubbing off on me.

"Does something like that always happen to you when he is near?"

Theo shrugs. "To an extent. It usually isn't that bad, but I have been having episodes like that since
I was 9."

He moves over to the floor-to-ceiling shelf and scans for the three items on the top of his list. He
had made sure to place them in order of their locations to make his search much easier.

"Have you found anything that helps you? That way, if I am around again, I will know what to do."

Well that was very nice of her. Shit, maybe Gryffindor's were actually a cool group of people.

I'll never admit it to Draco, but I kind of wish I was sorted into their house.

"Being alone and counting."

"Well fuck, no wonder it was worse this time with me breathing down your neck. My bad, Teddy. I
have the tendency to make everything worse with my actions."

He is already shaking his head as he turns back to the table where she is sitting, twirling one of the
empty vials in her hand.

He knew that meant more than just now. He knew what blaming yourself looked like. Hating
yourself. Wishing it would have been you rather than the other person. She knew too.

"That's not true, Ginevra, and you didn't make things worse. You honestly made it better."

She scoffs and kicks the back of her shoe with her other foot. "I thought you just said being alone
helps?"

Theo shrugs as he places the moss into a bag and labels the front. "It does."

"But you're not alone. I wreck that."

"You don't wreck that. You are the exception to that."

Now shit, where did I put the container for the mushroom mold? I have to use that exact container
because if not, my entire house will smell like feet.

He ends up filling the container to the brim. Three of the potions Hermione needed had the
disgusting shit in them.

"Like healing?"

He blinks and pulls from his thoughts. They must have gone back to the silence for a while without
him realizing. "What?"

He turns the page over and moves to the opposite wall to grab a few already made potions like
calming draught and murtlap.

"Like you said, healing is an exception?"

Theo is not following where Gingersnap is going. Seriously, what is she talking about? Maybe this
was another one of those situations when his naivety is showing. It sucked that it seemed to show
all the damn time around the woman. Probably making him seem like a fucking twat to her.

So like he always does in situations where he finds himself not really knowing the right response or
the answer, Theo simply nods his head at the girl. He watches as something changes on her face as
she looks at him across the room. There was a lot about the woman he did not understand.

"Good to know Teddy."

Oh, shit fucking shit…

Why is the way she is looking at him, and the way she just said those words both terrifying him
and making blood rush somewhere a fucking gain? Theo never had this problem.

Lucky for him, he is currently deep into needing to recite potion ingredients, so the action does not
seem out of place as he begins listing them aloud while also imagining a fork.

"And going into that room… That wouldn't have been better?"

He drops the vial on the ground, and jumps at the sound of shattering glass.

Well, boner gone.

The left room.

He didn't talk about the left room.

Even Draco didn't know much about the left room.

That was his room.

His.

Well, and Hermione's, actually. She was given a taste of what that room entailed. Her experience
was undoubtedly different in its own disgusting, horrible, and destructive way.

Theo squeezes his eyes shut and waves his wand to clean the mess he has made.

"No… I never plan on entering that room again."

He pulls out another vial and begins to pour the large batch of murtlap into it.
"I, I have a room too."

He tilts the large bottle back up and sets it down. Ginevra never sounded like she had just now. He
looks up at her to see the redhead staring at her shoes as she swings her legs back and forth. The
girl was never afraid of eye contact, unlike him. She had made him physically turn or leave a room
with those beady, glaring hazel eyes multiple times over the past week.

"But I'm the opposite of you. I had to be… warded out of it."

Theo is a bit lost at what Ginevra is talking about. Why would someone ward her out of a room?
He had joked about doing it to the snake crew plenty of times, but never acted on it.

"Do you know we still have Harry's body?"

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

It took a lot to surprise Theo, but she just did. They had Harry's body? Why? Polyjuice potion
didn't need more than a hair or two. What would be the point of keeping the Chosen One's actual
body? That...That is one of the most fucked up things he has ever heard.

"I… I won't let them bury him, or… or dispose of him anywhere but next to his parents. It's what
he would have wanted. I know it. And… and this fucked up world we live in took everything from
him. Absolutely everything. So… I won't, I can't let them take the only thing I have left that I can
give him. If Harry ever died, he would be placed next to his mum and dad. That's right. That makes
sense, you know? But we can't do that because the noseless git has the place watched constantly.
Thinking Harry might show up like before…"

The ginger's voice breaks and Theo moves to stand in front of her. Trying to show her she has his
full attention. He had been in one of these moments months ago with Hermione. He knew Ginevra
needed one as well. He could do it. He could always offer that to someone. A listening ear. It was
the one thing he could offer anyone and feel comfortable.

"They have him in this enchanted room in the safehouse, with spells covering his…body to, well,
you know."

Preserve him.

Yes, I definitely understand that, Ginevra.

"And I… I wasn't okay for a while. A long while and I became a bit obsessed with… with sitting
next to him. Not him, I mean it. It isn't him anymore, but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop
looking at him."

She starts to cry. Unlike Hermione, Ginevra is a very pretty crier.

"After two months of basically living in the room, Ron, Neville, and Kingsley warded me out.
They let me say goodbye first. And I would be lying if I didn't admit that I tried to break in a few
dozen times after."

She stops swinging her legs in between them and finally looks up at him.

"I'm so sorry, Ginevra."

"I want to bury him when this is all over. When we win, which we fucking will. We have to, right?
There… there has to be more than this, right?"

Shit, was she talking to the wrong person. Those thoughts, those questions… It was like the
woman was reading his mind. He used to play that mantra on a loop every time Draco talked him
out of ending everything. It was too many times to talk about before Draco learned to spell him
against harming himself. Theo never told anyone that some of the scars on his body were from
himself and not his father.

"I don't know Ginevra, but… but I want there to be."

She nods her head and wipes away the tears traveling onto her little freckled nose. "Well, I guess
that has to be enough for now, right? Wanting something more. Having something to fight for?"

Merlin, was she brave. That must be why people always seemed to listen to her. She demanded
attention without asking. Her voice carried the promise of action that inspired. She believed in
everything she said, as she is now.

"You're inspiring Gingersnap."

She lets out a huff as she cleans her face and jumps off the apothecary table. "And you're a good
listener, Teddy. Fuck, I'm sorry. You were the one having a hard moment, and here I go off about
my own problems and..."

"Ginevra, shut the hell up. I like listening. I like people talking to me. So no apologizing for stupid
shit like that, okay?"

The redhead laughs and grabs the cloak as she lifts one hand and salutes him.

Oh, for fuck's sake, don't…

"Aye aye, captain."

The evil witch must have told her. There is no other explanation… Maybe I can imperius her never
to say those two words again.

And see Theo boy, thoughts like that are why you were sorted into the snake pit instead of the lion's
den.

The girl tosses the cloak over both of them, and Theo silently cracks the door to ensure his father is
not in the hallway. It is empty.
"Okay, so we both stay under the cloak until we are safely shut behind my doors, understand?"

He looks back and watches her bob her head.

"Keep up."

They quickly move through the open doorway, the only evidence that someone was in the halls.
Theo shuts it, then takes off. The ginger keeps up with him impressively well as his heart starts
beating in his ears, and his fear starts to take over.

186, 187, 188, 189.

They both lunge into the door and fall onto the floor of his main entryway. Theo kicks the door
shut and lets his head fall onto the floor as he takes in deep breaths. He can hear Ginevra doing the
same next to him.

"What happened?"

Theo opens his eyes to see a tall blonde staring down at him.

He sits up and runs his hand over his face.

"My fucking father flooed in on our way to the potion room. He is still here. Nothing happened,
though. I just wanted to get back as quickly as possible." He shrugs off the healing kit and shoves it
up at Draco. "Got everything we will possibly need for Hogwarts and Hermione."

Draco looks from him to the kit, to the open door behind him where Theo now can hear Hermione
and Ron talking to Neville. "Carrow added a stipulation to the presentation. He wants me to bring
her. I just received the owl with instructions from the Dark Lord. He verified to bring her."

Well, shit, that must have been the secret the prick was keeping from them earlier…

"Bloody hell, Draco. Why?"

His brother grunts and leans against the wall next to him. "He believes I am… using her as they
did. He wants me to bring her because… he believes it would be a convincing incentive for the
younger males to join the Death Eater forces willingly."

"What you are beating around the bush from saying is that they want you to bring your supposed
sex slave with you, so those twisted blokes will join thinking they will get one as well?"

Draco nods his head at the Gingersnap's anger-filled words.

"Well, I think we can all agree that isn't fucking happening."

The blonde smirks down at her and lowers his voice. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear, Red. I
have an idea, but I will need to… borrow you for the night."
Theo feels his body getting hot as Draco is speaking. Borrow Ginevra? He doesn't like the sound of
that.

"You want me to impersonate her, so she doesn't have to go?"

Theo waits for the joke to drop. For the 'ha just messing with you Nott' to leave Draco's lips.
Because it has to be coming. This has to be a joke. Draco did not want her to pretend to be some
twisted prisoner of war slag for him.

"And that is why you are my least hated Weasley."

Theo did not hear anything that sounded like a joke in that statement.

He looks up at his mate and sees he is serious. "Hell no, Draco. She isn't doing that."

The satisfied and confident look on Draco's face falters as he makes eye contact with him.

"It actually isn't a bad idea. Neville could go with Ron, and I could go with the ferret and you. It
could work."

"Just because it could work does not mean we should do it. No Draco, think up another one of your
crazy schemes because I am not on board with this one."

Theo is done with this conversation. He stands up and leaves the room without looking at either of
them. Did Draco know what risk he was putting her in? It was one thing to have her underneath the
cloak looking for the sword. It was another to have her pretend to be…

"Nott, what's going on?"

He hears his bedroom door shut behind him and turns to face the tall blonde.

"Nothing."

Draco scoffs. "It looks like a whole hell of a lot of something. It is a good plan, and Red agrees, so
I…"

"Would you want Hermione acting like she was my fuck toy?"

Draco's confusion drops, and his lips form a thin line as he watches Theo.

Shit, he was being ridiculous, wasn't he? Why was he being ridiculous?

"Or… Or Pansy? Would… would you want to put them in the position you are asking me to be
okay with putting her in?"

"I actually thought about Pansy, but I know Blaise would behave exactly like you are right now."

"Then Daphne. Ask her."

Draco shakes his head. "Granger would kill me if she ever found out I had a girl I had sex with
pretending to be my whore while we were together. I'm not doing that, Nott."

"Well, I'm not doing this!"

Theo shuts his mouth after he screams the words. Theo didn't scream. Ever.
 Shit, what the hell is wrong with me?

Draco just stares at him as Theo calms down, trying to figure out what is happening inside him.

He was angry. Really angry. A very foreign feeling for him. He doesn't like it. It feels too heavy.

"Okay, Theo. Okay. I will find someone else. I need your help with another side project of mine as
well, but we will talk about that later."

He closes his eyes and nods his head. He didn't want to talk. He wanted to be alone… He needed
time to figure out what the fuck was wrong with him. Theo hears the door shut and falls back onto
his bed, and presses the palms of his hands into his eyes.

What the fuck was that just now, Theo boy?

He liked her. Like Hermione? Yes… no… yes.

"Argh!!" He grabs his pillow and holds it over his face to muffle his frustration.

He definitely liked her. Theo knows that. Maybe this was all because of what he was forced to do
to Hermione? Maybe he is reacting this way because somewhere deep in him, he fears he will be
forced to do it again, but to Ginevra this time. That makes sense. Yes. He didn't want to hurt or
watch one of his few friends get hurt.

She was his friend. He has four friends now.

She is my fourth friend. She is just my fourth friend.

But why doesn't that feel as sweet as it did before?

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Discussion of self harm.

 Hermione
Chapter Notes

There are direct quotes from the Harry Potter series of J.K. Rowling that I have labeled
with ** afterwards. She is the sole holder of the rights to these quotes.

"They are sending me to Scotland tonight to, to…" Neville's voice breaks, and Hermione watches
him look around before his face meets theirs through the floo again. "To create another sighting."

She feels her face falling as Ron releases an unpleasant grunt next to her.

Harry…

She can't imagine how difficult that must be for Neville, to pretend to be Harry, knowing he would
never talk, or walk, or breathe again. To look in the mirror and see Harry looking back at him,
knowing the truth.

I hate looking in the mirror as well.

Ever since Theo woke her up from the coma, memories, both pleasant and unpleasant, continued to
fly off of the shelves of their own accord in her mind. Most dealing with Harry. Her best friend.
Her brother.

She takes another sip of her burnt chocolate and nods her head. "That has to be extremely hard,
Neville. I am so sorry you have to do that."

"That's war, isn't it? Hopefully, we all can stop doing all these hard things soon."

Neville, always so full of hopeful optimism.

She smiles at the familiarity of talking to him. She enjoyed getting back some of these small and
more significant things from before she was captured, like talking to Neville. They were helping
her; she was clinging to them desperately during the hard yet more real moments of her present
reality. A reality and future that no longer included Harry.

"So we are looking at sometime next week?"

Ron shakes his head in agreement and scans over the map he had marked repetitively in his
chicken scratch that Hermione learned to decipher years ago.

"At this time, yes. Ferret is still waiting to receive an owl with direct instructions. We will send you
a copy of the agreement as soon as we receive it."

Neville was placed as their main correspondent over the mission for The Order. He would also be
coming to stay in Theo's rooms with her until they came back with the sword.

The plan infuriated her. The fact they decided she needed a damn babysitter while they all went off
and changed the tide of this war made her want to hex every single one of them. Yes, she agreed
she needed a less stressful environment. Yes, she was also terrified at the prospect of having
another seizure. But just because she was still healing didn't mean she couldn't help. That she
couldn't be useful. That she was fine with sitting back while everyone else acted.

No.

She hated it. Hated it more than anything, and if she could come up with a reasonable idea for
adding her presence, she would demand they all agree until they gave in. Which they would. But
she hasn't been able to come up with one reason. If she was going to get better, she needed to feel
useful. She needed to be a part of the big moments.

"Okay, I'll floo you both when I get back. It was great seeing you, Hermione. Talk to you again in a
bit."

"Bye Neville, be safe."

His face disappears in the fireplace, and Hermione leans back on her hands and turns towards Ron
sitting next to her, still studying the map. He had been obsessive over the routes and possible
options for him and Ginny. He always was good at thinking up all the outcomes and choosing the
best one. His mind worked differently from hers to both her delight and annoyance, always thinking
out of the box.

"It's an impressive plan, Ron. You did an excellent job."

Ron's gaze travels up to her, and he looks in between her eyes as a truthful grin grows on his face.
"You think? I am worried I am missing something."

She shakes her head and leans in to study the map of the castle next to him. "Not possible. You
have thought of every feasible move. There is a reason you were always undefeated at chess."

He laughs and relaxes next to her, setting down the map and rubbing his hand through his beard.

"The one thing I have always been better at than the Brightest Witch of Our Age. Remember in 4th
year when you hired a tutor over the summer to try to beat me? And you still lost, what, like four
games in a row before storming off and not speaking to me for two days?"

She playfully pushes his shoulder, and he falls dramatically onto the floor, laying flat on his back.

"Oh shut it, Ronald. You are better than me at a multitude of things. You are better at falling
asleep in class, better at eating anything and everything someone places before you, better at
getting caught, better at…"

He pushes her, and she mimics him, dramatically falling backward to lay next to him as they both
laugh.
"Mental woman."

"Roonil Wazlib."

He barks out another laugh at the memory. "That stupid fucking quill. Harry called me that for
weeks after his run-in with Snape."

"Would you rather me call you Won-Won?"

She turns and bops him on the nose with her index finger as her friend moans and covers his face
as she smiles at him.

"Merlin, I hated when she called me that. I think I prefer the Weasel honestly."

She hated the nickname his ex-girlfriend called him too. She called him the ridiculous pet name
during their friendship hiatus in 6th year as a jab at their relationship.

"I used to mock you both by referring to you as that to Harry behind your back."

"Oh I know. Harry told me."

She sits up and glares at him. "He did not!"

Ron lets out another laugh as he sits up as well. "Yeah, he did. He was my best friend too. Plus, we
both know the bloke couldn't tell what was a secret versus a conversation pretty often."

That was extremely true, and one of Harry's many attributes she adored more than anything. He
and Ron were similar in that way. With their honesty. They were both always honest with their
thoughts and expressed exactly what they were thinking and feeling.

Hermione was always the complete opposite, thinking and feeling many things that she never
really expressed to anyone. Nor had she ever mastered really understanding herself. She much
preferred the logical rather than the emotional. She didn't have the energy for the emotional most
of the time, even before everything that happened to her. Now, she felt like she had no energy to
give to anything except to make it through the day.

"I miss him." / "I miss him."

They both turn to look at each other with similar sad smiles on their faces. She reaches out and
takes his hand and squeezes it. She and Ron had not had many moments like this since Malfoy
brought them back. She was either unconscious, or everyone was fighting, or he was drunk. But
right now, she is enjoying every second of it, even if she suspects he is still inebriated. Of how easy
it feels. Of the familiarity of Ronald Weasley being her best friend. That is what he had always
been to her, above anything else. He was always her best friend.

"'Mione. I want to talk to you about some things. And I need you to promise me you will listen and
not interrupt me, okay?"

Annnd the moment is over…

The smile falls from her face. Here he went again, ruining the happiness. Ruining the peace.
"Ron, don't, not right now, please."

She knows what he wants to say. He had been dropping hints and making snide remarks
consistently over the last two days. He wanted her to leave and go with him back to the safe house
and stay there. Away from Theo and Malfoy.

"Hermione, please, just listen to me. Actually listen to what I have to say, yeah?"

She lets out an annoyed huff and rolls her eyes.

He sits up farther and places himself directly in front of her. She looks up, and he is staring back at
her intensely, confidently, assuredly.

Ron, you are the one not listening. This isn't going to go well.

"I don't want to fight with you, Ron. Nothing in me wants to fight with you, but that is where we
both know this is going to go if you keep..."

"Just give it a week, Hermione. Come back to the safe house with me for a week, and then if you
still want to come back, maybe…"

"I don't need to go to the safe house to know I want to stay here. Even Ginny doesn't want to go
back due to the horrible conditions. And while I understand why… why no one ever came for me,
it is still… still hurtful and fresh, and I don't want to be surrounded by all that constantly right now.
It wouldn't be good for me."

She closes her eyes. The embarrassing morning regimen of potions and supplements definitely
made a difference, made it easier. Made her mind clearer and quieter and able to function better,
but moments like these with Ron always made a spot right above her eyes hurt and throb.

She didn't want to be in the same building with people who had watched her be… be destroyed.
She didn't want to see their eyes full of pity tears, and words full of lies and broken truths. She
didn't need them to place all their guilt on her. She was carrying enough right now. She was barely
standing anymore.

"You honestly think it is better for your mind to stay here with two fucking Death Eaters than to
join back with the people you have fought next to for years? Hermione, just listen to yourself!"

BLOW.

She winces as the words leave him, and she feels them touch against her skin, making her body
physically react. His words always held the power of a blow for her. He had hurt her so many
times throughout the years with his unfiltered exclamations.

He must have noticed because he reaches out for her hands again and starts to rub them between
his. "Blimey hell, sorry 'Mione. I just. I need you to hear me out. I need you to hear everything I
have to say. Do you trust me?"

She doesn't allow herself to respond to his question. Did she trust him? Yes, with some things. But
with his words? No, honestly, she didn't. But like she expressed earlier, she lies to herself. She
knows he needs to get whatever he was obsessing over out. When Ron had made up his mind, there
was no rationalizing with him anymore. So she nods.

Let's get this over with…

"Okay, thank you. Okay. Hermione, I care about you so much, you know that, right?"

She nods again, feeling her eyes already watering.

This was going to end up being a regret. She can feel it.

"So know I say this because I care about you. You are trusting in the wrong people. Malfoy and
Nott, they are using you. It makes sense that you would struggle to see it, that it would be hard to
make sense after everything you have been through because, well, because they are pretending to
care. Because they aren't doing the same horrible things to you, but they are still taking advantage
of you. They are just taking advantage of your mind rather than your body. They want their slates
wiped clean, and they are using you to do it, placing all the stains, dirt, and grime onto you. Do you
understand, can you see it? Can you see that all of this, this place isn't real?"

The tears are already falling even though her eyes are shut. He refused to watch the memories. He
refused to listen to her, or Ginny, or Theo. Ginny had warned her that he was not convinced of the
Slytherins' allegiance.

"Ron please, watch a couple of the memories. It will help clear up some of these doubts you have, I
promise, and then…"

"I am not watching Malfoy's twisted and edited fucking memories, Hermione. You know, as much
as I do, that is what they are. How can we trust memories from a bastard who can edit and change
them, huh?"

Drac… no Malfoy, damn it, Hermione… there you go saying that again… He would never do that.
Not when it came to me.

She scoffs at him and stands up in her frustration. Needing to move.

Needing to pace.

Needing to put some distance between herself and him. His hatred for Malfoy was fogging
everything, making this impossible.

"You are impossible, Ronald Weasley! You were not here over the last two months! You didn't see
how Theo saved me. How Malfoy gave up so much to keep me safe. What we had to go through!
You cannot stand there and tell me that it isn't real because I lived it, Ron! It was real, every
second of it. And if you would just put your hatred aside and believe me, you could gain so much."

He stands up too and stops the trail she is pacing with his body. She can see how angry he is. His
nose is flared, and his cheeks are getting red.
Ron, please… just please let it go. I miss you.

"I am not letting you be used again, Hermione."

"I am not being used, Ron! They are not using me! They care for me! And I care for them. This is
real. Theo's kindness is real. Malfoy's allegiance is real. All these rooms are real. Our room is real.
The burnt chocolate is real. The book they read to help me is real. The counter curse is real. It is
all real Ronald, so stop saying things like you believe I have lost it. That I am not capable of
deciphering what is real and what is not."

"That is the third time I have heard you call this room ours. Who is the ours Hermione?"

Her body tenses.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

This is happening.

This is finally happening.

I am going to lose him.

Fuck, how do I tell him without losing him?

I can't lose him too.

Not him.

Not him and Harry.

She opens her eyes and sees a blurry, pain-looking Ronald Weasley. She blinks, and large tears
drop quickly from her face and onto the floor.

"It's Malfoy, isn't it?"

Hermione looks down at the floor as she agrees. As she ruins her own secret. This was not how she
planned all this to go. She wanted him to be on some semblance of a peaceful plain with Malfoy
before she told him, like Ginny. She wanted to create some very fictitious reality where the two
would be on the same side before he found out. Where maybe some of the past was put behind
them. Where it wouldn't be another situation like the one with Viktor.

Her whole body tenses as she sees him step closer to her. Here it comes. He is about to hurt her
again.

Ron please, please think before you speak to me for once. Please remember me in your anger.
Her thoughts cut off as she feels his strong arms wrap around her and pull her tight. She is shocked
by the kind action. The warmth-spreading and muscle-relaxing gesture. He isn't screaming at her.
He isn't calling her unloyal, or a liar.

Thank you, Ron. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

She wraps her arms around him and buries her face into his neck.

"We have got to get you out of here, Hermione," he whispers.

Wait, what?

"I promise once you are away from him, once he isn't taking advantage of you anymore. It'll all
make sense, I promise."

Her heart stops.

"Ron… Malfoy isn't taking advantage of me. He didn't rape me. He agreed to have sex with me."

This time, it is his body that physically jolts at her voice. His arms continue to stay wrapped around
her for a few more moments before he pushes them apart.

She watches as he covers his entire face with his hands and presses them so hard that she can see
the outline of white appearing in the knuckles and edges of his hands. He starts shaking his head
vigorously as whimpering noises leave his mouth.

Hermione wants to stop the pain she knows he is feeling. She didn't want to hurt him. She never
wanted to hurt anyone, especially him. She loved him. He was her best friend. She reaches out with
her hands to take his away from his face.

"Ron I…"

He jerks out of her grasp. "He has manipulated you so much that you believe him raping you is
sex! Fuck Hermione! Fuck! He has raped.. he has touched… Fuck! I'm going to kill him."

Ron pulls his hands away and looks at the door behind her. He starts towards it as his entire face
becomes beat red, and he reaches into his pocket for his wand.

Nonononononono!!

Hermione pulls out her wand faster and yells Expelliarmus before he can use it. His wand flies
into her grasp. She casts a silencing charm and makes the door close and lock.
He continues to stalk towards the exit. She jumps in front of him and puts her arms out, trying to
hold him back.

"No Ron, wait! Just calm down. You're wrong. He isn't raping me. I asked him to have sex with
me. I asked him to do it. I wanted… I wanted to take that part back from Master. I wanted it to be
mine again. Don't you get that? Can't you understand? It wasn't rape; it was consensual, I promise.
Please just stop."

"You asked him? You… you asked Malfoy to shag you?" He stops right as her hands meet his
chest. Eyes darting back and forth between them as he asks the question.

"Yes Ron, yes. I asked him. I practically had to convince him, honestly. So please believe me when
I say it wasn't rape."

"Why? Why would you ask fucking Draco Malfoy, of all people, to have sex with you, Hermione?
He hates you."

BLOW.

Okay, and here come the words that hit.

"No Ron, he doesn't hate me. He cares about me. And I trust him, and he…"

"You trust him! You trust him?! Merlin's saggy left tit, he sent dozens of people like you to their
deaths, Hermione. Men, women, and bloody children are dead because of him. He killed Luna, for
fuck's sake! He treated you like scum all throughout school. He's not a good guy."

More tears keep leaving her eyes, but they aren't from sadness anymore. They are from anger and
fury.

Ronald didn't understand because he didn't allow himself to understand. If he would just watch and
believe what he would see in the memories, all this would be easier. Without their help, she doesn't
even know where to begin to prove to him how wrong he was about Malfoy. Because he was
wrong, she knew that. So very, very wrong.

But why can't I ever express that clearly? Why… why am I so sure, yet can't explain it?

"He is for me! He is to me! I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for the hard decisions he made. I
would be dead, Ronald. Dead! I didn't need someone putting their morals before my life. Someone
who made sure they saved me in the right way, in a heroic way, in a clean way. I would be dead
right now if I had."

"You mean if you would have waited for me, right?"

She meets his eyes that are glaring at her. This wasn't about her and Ron. Why couldn't he see that?
Like she could have waited. How ridiculous of a sentence that was. How could he say something
so foolish after he had seen what was done to her?

"Take it however you want, Ron. I just needed, truly needed to be saved. There was no choice of
waiting or not, and that is what you don't seem to understand."
He scoffs and throws his hands up in the air. "I don't understand. I don't understand any of this
'Mione. The girl I have known for the last nine years, the girl I called my best friend. The girl who
I always thought I'd end up with is looking right at me and telling me she is okay with the fact that
Malfoy has killed people, our friends!"

"This is war! People are going to die! Hard decisions have to be made. And he is trapped, can't you
see that?! They all are. They all have been from the very beginning! They didn't have the same
choices we did. They were never given the opportunity to have a choice!"

That was the truth. Malfoy, Theo, Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne all weren't given the same
opportunities to be anything different than what they were forced to become to survive. They were
born into a cage of circumstance, lineage, and old beliefs. But somehow, the group had survived
this long and even found small and big ways to make a difference. Except no one knew. No one
saw what they did. They were too hidden in the shadows of those like her who were shoved into
the light.

"You know bloody well Dumbledore gave Malfoy a choice up in the Astronomy Tower."

She lets out a humorless laugh at his narrowmindedness.

"You see that as a choice? Someone throwing out a different option at the last minute? It was never
a choice, it was a stall, and you know that. He couldn't even take it if he wanted to. It was either he
died, or Dumbledore died, and we all know he believed he would die. He had to do it, Ron! He had
his family to protect."

"It seems like you and him have an excuse for everything. How about all the horrible things he said
about you? How about all the horrible things he still says about me? How about when he called
you that word more than anyone else we know?!"

There was so much he didn't know. There was so much she had never told him. So many little
moments, and secrets, and apologies she kept to herself. It was too complex to make him
understand. And plus, it didn't seem like Ron had any desire to understand.

"Those are my offenses to forgive, not yours! He called me that word, not you. You are allowed to
still harbor feelings against him for it, but you are not allowed to tell me what and who I can
forgive. I have forgiven you for plenty, remember? You also made fun of my looks, put me down,
and broke my heart more than once! And he called me a Mudblood and made fun of how I looked.
Those things were done to me. And I have forgiven you both. I have forgiven it all."

"Do not fucking compare me to that prick! I can't believe you, Hermione. I don't even recognize
you anymore. You are letting a Death Eater fuck you! Use you!"

"He isn't using me! I am using him!"

They both freeze.

Wait, what? Is that… is that what I am doing? Am I, is that what we are?

Her hands grab the sides of her head as that pain grows behind her eyes. No, she thinks. No, they
had an agreement. They had a deal. He was teaching her. He was taking part in her empowerment.
And he was getting consensual sex with a woman he found attractive like he had done many times
before. Yes, that was it, right? Yes.

Then why does it feel like I am answering a question wrong?

"What does that mean?" He asks.

She looks up at him. "It means we came to an agreement, and he is letting me explore my sexuality
with him."

Ron stares at her as his mouth continues to fall open. It wasn't like he was a virgin. She knew for a
fact he and Lavender had sex when they were dating.

"So… it is just sex then? For you? It… It isn't anything more than that?"

Her lungs stop working as her emotions flare at his statement. A protective, defensive kind of
feeling consumes her and fuels her anger.

She wants to yell at him.

A swarm of thoughts and statements fill her mind. All possessive, all claiming, all concreting
something that she doesn't really understand.

Ron breaks her thoughts. "Listen, that I can handle, that I can wrap my head around a bit. I get it."

He crosses his arms in front of his chest and contemplatively nods his head. Like he just figured out
a problem. "I had my fling with Lavender, and so it is only fair I allow you to have one as well. But
'Mione you have to be careful around him. Lav wasn't dangerous, he is."

She feels her mouth drop open.

What the actual fuck?!

How dare you say something like that to me!

You, you insensitive, hurtful, condescending man!

"It isn't just sex!" She screams as she stomps her foot on the ground.

Wait, what?

Wait Hermione, what.. what does that mean?

What did you just make real?

"So you actually think he cares for you? You think this isn't all just him manipulating you, and
using you to redeem himself? Come off it, Hermione! You are smarter than that. The twat has been
in your mind, right? He has sifted through you, seen things, has the fucking power to change and
insert things apparently. He saw you had a soft spot for him and is manipulating you! Abusing
you!"

He was so wrong. So far from the truth, but was basing everything off of this twisted reality he had
created. How could she convince someone so determined to see what he wanted, no matter what
was real or not?

Wait… Isn't that exactly what he is accusing me of doing?

"No, no Ron that isn't true. He hasn't done anything like that. Please just listen to me, let me
explain."

"You can't be trusted to explain anything, Hermione! Don't you get that? Everything you believe is
wrong and twisted and… You know everything I am saying is possible. I know you do. You went
from one man controlling you to another, except this time, you are allowing it."

BLOW-BLOW-BLOW

Cracking through her control. Cracking through the peace that she was feeling.

Maybe he is right, pet…

No, damn it! Get out of my head bitch!

No, he is wrong. I know he is wrong.

"No Ron, stop! Stop saying that! Don't say things like that to me! I know I am right. I know…"

She feels his hands on her shoulders, and he starts shaking her as tears stream down his face.

"Do you? Not one part of you doubts all this? Doubts if it is all real? C'mon Hermione! Think!
Think like you used to be able to! It's Malfoy! He wouldn't ever care about you. He was horrible to
you in school. He wouldn't ever do anything to help you, or save you, unless it was something that
would save him first. You know this."

Malfoy…

He's a Death Eater, pet.

No, no, no he isn't, he isn't.

He saved me.

He saves me.
He is silver.

Are you sure, pet? You have been deceived before. You have believed in many things that ended up
not being real.

She whimpers and tries to shake her head in between his hands. "No. You are wrong. He…
Carrow… and the curse… and the notes… no, no, Ron. No, I am right."

He wasn't manipulating her. It didn't make sense. No, he cared. He made a curse and countercurse
to protect her. He slept on the floor with her. He held her in all the hard moments. He made her tea,
made her laugh, and made her feel on fire.

And this started long before Theo found me. At least it had for… wait wait… what am I admitting?
What does that mean?

You know what that means, Hermione.

No, I really don't. He was fascinating. I was concerned, worried, challenged, but I didn't trust him.
What made me trust him? Why do I trust him?

She feels pressure on her wrist and isn't able to move fast enough as Ron pulls his wand out of her
hand and stalks to the door.

"I can't do this 'Mione! I can't stand here and watch another one of my best friends die, change, be
a… shell of who they once were. I can't with Harry… and I can't with you."

He swings the door open, slamming it off the wall. Hermione runs after him trying to stop him.
Mind becoming so consumed as she tries to figure out a way to make this all stop.

To make him see.

To make him understand.

To make him stay.

To not lose him.

"I am going. I… I have to go. I can't watch you slowly destroy yourself, slowly become someone I
don't recognize anymore. I just can't. Floo me when we need to leave for Hogwarts."

She tries to grab and turn him, but he shoves her off and continues to the front door. "No Ron!
Please, please don't leave, please stay. I already lost Harry. I don't want to lose you too."

I can't lose you too!

"I don't want to lose you either, Hermione, but I already lost you."
BLOW .

She stops and falls to her knees.

I am broken.

He is right.

He is right.

"Weasel, get the fuck out now!"

She turns and sees Malfoy advancing.

"No Malfoy stop!" She reaches out and grabs the material of his trousers to try to stop him. She
clings on as she starts to cry loudly. A sob and breath get caught in her throat as they both try to
happen at the same time, and Malfoy freezes and drops down next to her.

She looks over his head to see Ron grabbing Harry's invisibility cloak next to the front door. His
face is covered in tears as well. She had hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Ron! Please, I am so sorry. I should have told you a long time ago. I should have told
you everything. But wait, please don't do this. Don't, please just watch the memories, please just
listen to me."

"Do not beg, Granger. You do not beg. Especially to a bastard like him. You are enough. You are
more than enough for anyone. If he can't see that, let him fucking go."

She doesn't register anything the blonde caressing her arms says to her as Ron reaches out for the
door handle.

I am losing him! I am losing him!

Seamus,

Lavender,

Fred,

Colin,

Cho,

My parents,

Harry,

Ron.

No, not Ron.

My heart can't take it!

"Ron, if you walk out that door, you are the one choosing to walk away again! You are the one
saying that I am not complete anymore. You prove that you don't want me as I am now. You are
telling me everything, everything I try so hard not to believe about myself. Please Ron, please stop.
You are hurting me! You are breaking me!"

His hand freezes on the door handle, and she feels her breath catch. He is stopping. Yes, he is
listening to her. Yes he…

"You are already broken, Hermione."

BLOW .

"Someone needs to tell you that, so maybe someday you can get better. And I promise you, when
you realize that, I will be there for you. But I can't watch this."

He disappears.

He is gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Broken.

Broken.

She is broken.

I am broken…

He knew her better than anybody, and he said she was broken, so she must be.

Maybe he is right. Maybe all this isn't real.

"Granger, open your mouth. Nott! ward him out now!"

Hermione pushes herself out of Malfoy's grasp. "No don't! Don't Theo!"

She stands up and starts to move towards the door. Even as the world begins to spin. She pulls her
wand out and turns to point it at the three of them. Malfoy stands and lets out a growl at her,
holding a vial in one hand and his wand in another.

"Granger, don't make me do this. Do not open that door. Let the fucker go."
Her back hits against the wood, and with one free hand, she reaches behind for the handle.

"I can't lose him. I… I can't lose him too."

Malfoy raises, his wand at her chest and takes a step forward. Proving to her that he would stop
her. He would take this choice of hers away if he had to.

He's a Death Eater.

Maybe Ron is right…

No, no he isn't a Death Eater. He isn't.

He is safe. I feel safe with him.

I can trust him.

Are you sure, pet?

Why do you trust him?

Because… because I just know I can. I know I can.

The pain behind her eyes feels like it is trying to escape through her skull. She lets go of the handle
and holds the side of her head as the other her continues to whisper, consume, and confuse.

"Get out of my head! Get out of my head!"

She feels cool hands grab her arms and pull her forward, away from the door, away from Ron.

"Open your mouth now."

She does.

"Swallow."

She does.

"What the hell happened?" A female voice asks.

What happened? She lost another person. She lost her best friend. She lost her mind.

You lost that a long time ago, pet.

"Your fucker of a brother happened! He told her she was broken, for fuck's sake! If you aren't
going to ward him out, you better ward me in, Theo, because I am about to kill the fucker. Damn it!
I should have killed him. I should have…"

"Okay, okay, let's all calm down. Hermione here, take your other three potions. They will help."
She opens her eyes to see three people staring back at her. Theo is about to hand Malfoy the vials,
but she cuts him off and grabs them herself.

Was Ron right? Was Malfoy manipulating her? Had she fallen for it? Was none of this real?

"Is he right?"

The words come out as a whisper after she swallows the last of the potions. Malfoy moves to place
his hands on her again, and she flinches.

She flinches, and he notices.

He notices, and he freezes.

Should I trust him?

"Is who right?" He asks weakly.

The three people seem to be getting closer. She feels like she is starting to go fast again, getting
bigger. The room is getting smaller. There are too many people looking at her. Too many thoughts,
and memories, and voices.

Had she been fooled again? Master had played a lot of games with her. Making her think she had
been saved, making her believe she was safe, making her believe she liked what was happening to
her. Had she fallen for another sick game?

"Granger please…" He reaches out for her again, and she backs into the door behind her.

"Is, is this not real? Is this just another game?"

She closes her eyes as the ceiling moves closer, as she feels the bile start in the back of her throat
from the room spinning.

She needs to get out.

She needs to breathe.

She needs space.

"This is real, Granger."

It is Malfoy saying it to her. He is the one saying this is all real, but if Ron was right, she couldn't
trust him.

She opens her eyes and stares into his silver pools. The shelf labeled with his name topples over.
She grabs the side of her head, and lets out a hiss as the memories flash in front of her mind.

" No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood."**

"You're not telling me someone asked that to the ball, not the long-molared Mudblood?"**
"Want one Granger, I've got loads. But don't touch my hand now. I've just washed it, you see. Don't
want a Mudblood sliming it up."**

"If you're wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in."**

"I'm a Mudblood to you."

The man in front of her jerks. "No, you are fucking not. Don't say that word. We… we talked about
this. Remember? We…"

He starts to move forward. She is against the wall. It isn't possible to go back any further.

Make him happy, pet…

No bitch no!

I can't take this. I can't take this.

"You… you are using me. You hate me."

All of a sudden, she hears a loud slam. She opens her eyes and sees Malfoy's fists up against the
wall across from her, his head pushing against the surface as his whole body heaves.

"That's what you fucking think?! After all this! After fucking everything we have done, that I have
done. You think I hate you?!"

He slams his fists into the wall again.

Theo moves closer to him. "Mate, calm down. This isn't good…"

"This isn't good for any of us!" Malfoy yells and slams his fists again.

She doesn't know what happens next. She stops paying attention to everyone else. All that is real,
all she knows is she has to get out of here.

Now.

Hermione pushes off the wall and runs as fast as she can into their room. She slams the door
behind her, pulls out her wand, and tries to place heavy wards over the door. The hand holding her
wand out is shaking, her voice is breaking, and none of the wards stick. None of them form. The
taste of tears enters her mouth as she recites the spells all broken, all not working.

Just like me…

The taste is salty, and wet, and welcome. Keep them coming. She doesn't want them to stop. She
doesn't want to wipe them away. No more hiding.
After trying to cast a silencing charm to no avail, she falls to the ground, curling her knees into her
chest as the broken noises that match how she feels inside continue to travel out of her. The only
release. The one she needs.

I feel so lost, I feel so broken, I feel so crazy.

Was Ron right? Does she have this whole situation backward? Was she the one who needed to see
the truth? Was she the one living in a false reality?

Questions continue to overfill her mind as she sobs on the floor. She cries for so long her throat
begins a coughing fit from drying out. She sits up, trying to make it easier to breathe.

Her nose and eyes are running profusely. She reaches out and grabs the closest thing, and rubs it
against her face.

Mint.

Him.

Malfoy.

He is safe.

I can tru…

Why?

It is his blanket she grabbed. She stares down at it as the shelf with his name topples again. The
pain and rush of memories makes her eyes squint, and her head throbs more than it had before.

"We're camping, Granger."

"If you're on the damn floor, so am I."

"Do you want me to shut off that big brain of yours?"

"How much of me do you want inside you Granger?"

"If a bed is a fork for you, it is a fork for me."

"I have wanted you for years, Granger. You have to know that by now."

"You are priceless."

"You are hope."

"Gold is worth more than silver."

Her hands grab the side of her head, and she feels her nails digging into the soft skin of her scalp
and temples.

Was it real?

Was any of it real?

Was Ron right?

Master said he loved her. Master said she was precious. Master gave her books, let her sleep in the
bed, and gave her treats. He had placed a part of her right above his heart.

Malfoy had placed the pin there, just like Master. On the same Death Eater robes Master wore as
well. He had given her things too. He said she was a lot of things.

Were they the same?

Had she gone from one man controlling her to another?

"Aargh!!"

She starts pounding her fists into the side of her head. Needing the pain to stop. Needing the
memories and voices to stop. Needing it all to stop.

A vial slides under the door.

She looks up and sees a piece of parchment next to it.

She crawls over and reaches out for them both.

Without thinking, she swallows the contents of the vial and looks down at the handwriting on the
paper.

Everything has been real.

It is Theo's handwriting. Malfoy's always connected his i's and a's together with the next letter in
the word.

Or was she wrong about that as well?

He never confirmed that he was the one to leave her the notes on her mugs in the library. But she
was so sure. So sure that the handwriting matched.

She had tried to get him to confess, but he never did. The memory of one of their last conversations
before the Battle of the Astronomy Tower flies across her mind.

Hermione had been walking to the library with a new mug in hand. She had accidentally-kind-of-
on-purpose left her mug from last night at the table.

The yawn she let escape was so loud it had echoed down the hallway.

It was the fourth night in a row she would be breaking the rules and staying deep in the stacks of
the library past hours. But researching horcruxes was not exactly something she could do at a table
surrounded by other students.
The only person she would ever run into this late would be Theo Nott, and they never interacted
more than a quick smile. He also never ratted her out to anyone for staying past hours. Maybe next
year, if there was a next year, they would become friends as Head Boy and Head Girl.

But even though she had been exhausted, she needed to devote that night to research if she wanted
to go away for the weekend with Ron to the manuscript exhibit.

"Granger."

Her stomach started to burn as she turned around to see Malfoy walking slowly towards her. She
felt her breath catch as she took him in. He looked horrible.

If she was honest with herself, she could admit the boy was usually attractive. He had the physical
qualities that most people would deem admirable, yes. It was just an observation, nothing more. A
logical and accurate conclusion.

But Malfoy had been looking more and more ill as the year continued. As he walked to stand in
front of her and glance at the empty corridor they were standing in, she felt a frown taking over her
face at the sight of him up close.

She remembers thinking he hadn't looked this bad a couple of days ago when he had all but forced
her to walk his patrol with him and discuss the third project they were assigned together this year.

He hadn't even looked this bad when she snuck into the infirmary to see him after Harry cast that
horrible spell on him.

His usually flashing silver eyes were such a dull grey they looked dead. His skin which was usually
pale, looked thin and ghostly, except for the dark purple bags around his eyes. His demeanor which
usually screamed elitism, was nowhere to be found. Instead, he was slouched, and tired, and looked
defeated.

"Malfoy."

He looked above her and peered behind him before turning back and jerking his chin to an alcove
off the side of the corridor.

She really didn't have time for this. Harry needed her to devote everything to this research and to
find some answers. She should tell him to bugger off as he did to her first year. But as she looked
back at him, she remembers feeling her resolve subside. He wasn't okay.

Harry seemed to think he was a Death Eater. Had actually become obsessed with the idea
throughout the last couple of months. At first, Hermione was adamant that there was no way a 16-
year-old would be branded as a Death Eater. It had never been done before. Never had someone
been initiated so young. She argued, and argued, and argued with the two of them. Not because she
cared, she remembers arguing with herself, or because a part of her felt sick inside at the
possibility, or because she had this idea of him, this hope in him. No, of course not.

She fought with them because it was illogical, of course. For the Death Eater army to start
initiating children. No parent would allow that. Not even the Malfoy's.

Hermione rolled her eyes, and she could have sworn she saw the side of his mouth tip upward just
the slightest before resting back in the all-the-time sneer he had on his face.

He followed her into the alcove, where they were hidden from every direction except for one side.
There had been a few similar instances like the one now, and usually, Hermione would feel some
form of spark begin inside her. But Malfoy wasn't the only one having a hard year. The war was
looming. They could all feel it. Coming closer. Becoming more and more real every day. She was
too exhausted herself to put up the usual fight with him.

She leaned on the back wall of the alcove and took a sip of her tea. He stood in front of her with his
hands in his pockets, watching.

"New mug?"

It was, actually. One (she believed they both were aware) was in the library, sitting on the front
entrance table with a note on it if she were to wager. Two were being used by Harry and Ron. And
the other she suspected Ginny took and broke but had yet to fess up.

So she had borrowed one from the common room.

"Yes. I forgot my favorite one in the library last night. A habit of mine."

She paused and studied his face. Looking for any tell that her belief was correct. Trying to see if he
would finally admit it to her with an involuntary muscle flex or quirk of the mouth. Instead, he
gave her nothing. Not even a blink.

She tried again.

"Someone always leaves them on the table for me with a note and my name on them, though. I will
pick it up tonight but will probably end up forgetting this one in its place."

She smiled at her own kind-of joke, but once again he didn't budge. Just stared at her with dead
grey eyes.

Maybe I am wrong… Maybe it isn't him. Well Hermione, you are a bloody idiot for kee…

"I'm not good at apologies."

She blinked at his words. Apology? What apology? She hadn't heard one.

"You are demonstrating that quite clearly right now, as I have yet to hear an apology."

Why was he apologizing? Well, honestly, he had a lot to be sorry for, even if she knew the
cockroach didn't believe in half the shit he said to her. But he never apologized. Ever. He usually
would just ignore her or have a quick, light-hearted tris with her that she secretly always enjoyed.
Or he would pretend like he never said anything horrible to her in the first place and act like
acquaintances, project partners, or at least civil.

But Draco Malfoy never apologized.

"That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one of these days, Granger."

"Like you have any room to talk in that department, Malfoy."

She felt a very common flutter start in her abdomen as they began their usual roundabout.
He grunted at her and ran one of his hands over his face and into his hair. Her eyes lingered on his
left forearm, trying to see if the mark was there.

It can't be true. It can't be true.

"I… I wanted to talk to you, to tell you, well… tell you that I was wrong."

She felt her eyes widen as he struggled to look up at her. "Wrong? Wrong about what?"

"Everything. All of it. I know… I have kno… I know I was wrong."

Both of them did not speak for a few minutes. What was he saying? He was wrong about what?
The way he wanted to go for their Dark Arts project? Because if that was the case, she whole-
heartedly agreed.

"I was wrong for all the things I said to you, all the things I… called you. All the things all of it
stood for. I was wrong."

Wait, was he saying? Was he really saying?..

Finally.

"I still haven't heard an actual apology, Malfoy."

The tension that was building with his confession withered as he let out a soft, quick laugh and
shook his head as he met her eyes.

"I'm sorry Granger."

She felt a smile forming on her face as he said the three words she had wanted him to say for so
long to her. She knew he was sorry. Not the first couple of years, but towards the end of fourth
year, it was obvious the boy was always wearing a mask.

She felt proud of him, and she was piss poor at hiding her emotions from her face, so the smile
continued to grow.

"I'm sorry for all of it. I just needed you to know that before... I needed you to know that all of it
for a while wasn't… wasn't really me. I was just too much of a coward to be anything different
than…"

"Than what you were brought up to be."

He finally met her eyes, and his mouth opened slightly. His eyes traveled between her own, looking
for the lie or the joke. There wasn't one.

"I forgive you, Malfoy. As long as you continue to prove that your apology is real, I will forgive
you."
His mouth dropped farther.

She started to smile again at the scene before her. She had never left him speechless before. She
liked it.

"Yes… well… even if I… even if it doesn't make sense… know that this apology was real."

She nodded her head and took another sip of her tea before an involuntary yawn passed through her
lips.

"Okay, Malfoy."

"Chamomile won't help with your fatigue."

She rolled her eyes again. Like she didn't know that. Yes, she usually drank chamomile; it was her
favorite. But on nights like that night, she always chose one with caffeine. Any help she could get,
she would take.

"I am well aware of that, Malfoy. This is black tea."

She started forward out of the alcove. Not really because she wanted to get to her little hidden area
in the stacks and read about some of the darkest magic to ever exist, but she had to. For Harry. He
had enough on his plate.

Malfoy followed.

"Are you heading to the library too? You can have my other mug. Whoever places them there
cleans them as well."

She looked over as they walked, but once again, the blonde gave her no sign.

"No, I actually have to be elsewhere. But Granger…"

She felt his hand wrap around her forearm, and the spark flickered.

He turned her to look at him. His eyes once again traveled between hers. Traveled, it seemed, for
the right words to say. If he thought he needed to say more, he was wrong. She didn't need more
apologies. She needed action from him. The only thing she wanted to hear him say at that moment
was that he had left the notes.

He opened his mouth to say something else when Crabbe came around the corner.

"Draco. We got to go."

The hand on her arm flinched briefly, but Malfoy looked away from her and nodded at the boy.

He pulled out a piece of parchment from his robes with a list of random items and handed it to her.

"Some supplies I think we will need for our project when we finally see eye-to-eye."

"You mean when you finally admit my idea is better?"

That little muscle to the side of his mouth twitched again. "We'll see."

He turned and walked around the corner with his henchman.

Hermione had made her way to the library, and as no surprise to her, saw her favorite mug sitting
on the table with a small note attached.

-Hermione Granger

May not be able to keep this up for much longer. So get better at remembering your mugs.
She noticed the connection between the a and the b, the a and the t, the i and the n, and the a and
the n immediately.

She pulled out the list of supplies and held it next to the small note.

able and about the same connection.

at and atlas the same connection.

remembering and ingredients the same connection.

Granger and annotations the same connection.

The list and the note were written by the same person. She knew it. She knew it.

Or at least she thought she did.

But what if she was wrong?

She drops the note from Theo and presses her palms into her eyes.

Her back rests against the door as she feels whatever Theo gave her, begins to work to control her
breathing better. It didn't do anything for her mind. It always worked quickly. She would give
herself headaches due to all the information and knowledge she would try to work through as fast
as she could, as she is doing now.

Remembering everything that had happened over the past two months.

Thinking about all of the moments and working through each of them.

Thinking.

I… I am good at thinking.

She had proven that hadn't she? She had proven that her mind still belonged to her. That it was still
capable of solving complex problems and situations. That it still held the ability to save her and the
others she cared about. Her mind saved Harry, Ron, and herself many times in the past, just like it
saved Theo, Malfoy, and her more recently.

Yes… Yes, I did.

I am good at thinking. I am.

Ron is wrong. He is wrong. He has to be wrong.

Her mind had hidden and held together against the darkest wizard to ever live. It helped Theo put
together and create the ingredients for the potion and spell to get her magic back. It solved
Malfoy's rape agreement with Alecto Carrow.

Malfoy…

"I don't understand why you would have done that for… for me."

"Ask that question when you are ready to hear the answer, Granger."

He had endured someone raping him for her.

He had been raped to keep her safe.

She was right about Malfoy.

Ron was wrong. He was so fucking wrong.

Hermione stands up as the fury in her builds. Builds at not only Ron but also at Malfoy.

Ron for his failure as a best friend. For making her believe that she was broken. For making her
feel broken.

I am right. I know I am fucking right!

And Malfoy for making this so much more complicated than it needed to be.

Him and his damn secrets.

She knew the answer to why he let Carrow rape him.

She knew why he made the charm on her tea mug.

She knew why he created the countercurse potion.

Because you wrote the notes, Malfoy.

I know you fucking did.

I know it. I know it isn't just me.

Time for you to admit it.

Time to prove this has all been real.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

Here we go…

See the end of the chapter for more notes

You hate me.

You hate me.

You hate me.

You are using me.

You are using me.

You are using me.

“Draco, I think you should take one of these as well.”

He is on the floor. Somehow he ended up on the floor. He looks up, and she is gone. His eyes dart
to the still closed front door that she had wanted to open to follow the fucker.

“She is in your room Draco. She didn’t leave. I think we should give her some space. I placed a
diagnostic charm on her. Here, take the potion.”

He swallows the contents and squeezes his eyes shut as he lets his head drop in between his knees.
His hands are shaking. Everything is shaking. Everything is breaking.

Walls, and walls, and walls.

Was it real? Was I wrong? Did I…

“Did I take advantage of her?”

“No, Draco, fuck mate. She switched; couldn’t you hear her voice change? She wasn’t herself
when she said that. You aren’t using her. I don’t know why she would…”

“I do. Because Malfoy was right. My fucking brother did this.”

“What do you mean?” He opens his eyes and glares at the ginger moving to the floor next to Nott
as a continuous mantra goes on in his mind.
I should have killed him.

I should have killed him.

I should have killed him.

'You hate me.'

'You are using me.'

“I mean, the git more than likely told her how he believes you two snakes are manipulating her.
That you only saved her and are being kind to her, to gain your own freedom after all this is over.
And I am sure Hermione probably let the extracurricular activities you and her have been up to slip
finally, and Ron lost it. That is the only thing I can see pushing him to leave and say something
truly awful to her. Oh, and to also steal my damn cloak. The bloody tosser.”

Wait, she told the bastard? Had she finally told him they had sex? What did she say? How had she
explained it? Probably terribly if it was his guess. How could you explain something you were
struggling to understand yourself?

So the fucker knew. He knew and then proceeded to tell her she was crazy, broken, gone, and
everything that he knew would hit right where it needed to.

To break her.

To destroy her.

I should have killed him.

The shaking continues to take over, moving into his lips, legs, and lungs. He looks down the hall to
the door to their room. He can hear her crying.

The most horrible noise in the world.

I am so fucking sick of hearing you cry , Granger.

Draco moves to stand. He needs to be with her. He needs to reassure her. Bring her back. Let her
know she isn’t alone. But his legs aren’t working. They are shaking and frozen.

And she flinched when he reached out to her.

He saw it.

She flinched.

And then she proceeded to move away from him. To tell him that she was a Mudblood to him.
That he hated her. That he was using her.

He vomits before he can stop himself.

“Shit Draco, you have to calm down. Occlude. Occlude before you try to get up.”

He can’t. He tries, but he physically can’t. He keeps trying, creating a chill flooding feeling of pain
as attempt after attempt is unsuccessful, and her words keep repeating in his mind.

“Wait, so Ron thinks we only saved her and have kept her safe because we want to play both sides?
That’s insane. Didn’t he watch the memories?”

The redhead lets out an annoyed huff and shakes her head. “Of course not, because that would
make too much sense for a stubborn Weasley. And also because he knows ferret here can occlude,
is a legilimens, oh and let us not forget, now can even create false memories thanks to Hermione.
He doesn’t believe in their validity. He thinks Malfoy has entered and twisted her mind to believe
she can trust him and that he is helping her.”

I should have killed him.

I should have killed him.

Another potion rolls against his leg. He reaches out and is able to take off the lid even though the
shakes have turned into convulsions that he can’t control.

“Wow, that is so fucked up. Draco would never do that to her. He has done the fucking opposite,
actually. Not even telling her shit he probably should, knowing that would make her trust him a
hell of a lot more than she already does, because he is terrified to play off of her trauma.”

The trauma.

She had been raped. She had been used. She had been brutalized. She had been isolated. She had
been tortured. She had been burnt. She had been… She had been so many things.

And the worse part is he can see it. He had seen it. Words were one thing. Witnessing was another.

Breaking. Falling. Crumbling.

Walls, and walls, and walls.

He sees what was shown on a loop in the room. He hears her sounds and the sounds of what was
being done to her. He sees the monster. He sees…

He throws up again.

“Damn it, Draco! You need to keep a draught down. Fuck, I only have two left.”

Another potion rolls against his foot, but he doesn’t pick it up. His hands start grabbing at his hair
and pulling. That chill consuming pain starts ringing in his ears.

That was only a couple of months ago. She had been abused only months ago, and even while with
them, she had been sexually assaulted, beaten, thrown around like a rag doll, continued to be
isolated, and he had… had…

Did I manipulate her? Was any of this real?

Oh my gods… is the fucker right?

Why had she trusted him? It was a question they all had at the beginning. Even Theo was
convinced something was off and wrong. That is why he read the book. That is why Theo talked to
him about being careful with her affection, with her heart, with her mind, with her body.

Had he been careful with her? Fuck. He hadn’t. He had pinned her to almost every wall in their
room. He had held information back from her that she probably should have known. He lied to her,
had lied to her only hours ago. He had buried himself deep into her open arms the minute she
allowed him. He had made her hold him up, take everything, give him everything when he was
weak. He fucked her.

Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!!

Ronald Fucking Weasley is right.

He is fucking right…

I am so sorry , Granger.

I didn’t mean to Granger.

I swear, I swear I didn’t mean to.

It… it was an accident. I didn’t know…

I swear I didn’t.

I used you.

I ruined you.

His face is wet as he rubs his eyes furiously. He was a monster. He was just like them. He was the
same as Dolohov, Carrow, and Nott Sr. He was the villain. He was the villain to her. He had taken
advantage of her.

The Granger from school would never have trusted him to help her into a bath, or go camping with
him, or tell him he was silver, or let him kiss her, touch her, have sex with her.

She may have told him she forgave him, but he hadn’t even believed that in the moment. It
couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be that easy, not after everything he had done. He would have to show
her. Like she said, through action. But his actions since she had been here were selfish. He wanted
her. Merlin, he craved her, longed for her, was transfixed by her.
Yes, he had done a lot of things to keep her safe. He gave up many pieces of himself to keep her as
put together as possible. But that didn’t mean she was obligated to give him anything in return.

She wasn’t.

She wasn’t.

But did she know that? Did she recognize that she had a choice in the matter? Or was it all because
of what she had been through that she latched on to him and gave back so much? Was that part of
her training with the monster?

“Fuuuuck!”

He bashes his head into the wall behind him.

He should have asked her all these questions before ever touching her. He should have been more
clear, more distant, less selfish.

I am so fucking sorry , Granger.

I am so so so so sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

“Draco, take the potion.”

He does.

“Damn, Malfoy… You… you really care about her, don’t you?”

He doesn’t look up at Red’s question; that sounds so condescendingly surprising.

Fuck yes, he cared about her.

The only reason he had been breathing for the last eight months was solely for her.

The only reason he agreed to the fucking Disorders requests was for her.

The only reason he was now living with a dreaded Weasley was for her.

The only reason he let the ugliest creature he had ever seen sleep next to him on the damn floor
was for her.

The only reason the kitchen was stocked with chamomile tea was for her.

The only reason he bothered to create a countercurse was for her.

The only reason he agreed to be raped was for her.

So yes , Weaselette, I fucking care. Actually, that isn’t the four-letter word that sufficiently
describes how I feel about her.

“Ginevra, trust me when I say you don’t know the half of it.”

A loud gasping noise comes from down the hallway. Draco looks up towards the horrible sound
coming from behind their closed bedroom door.

She was in pain.

She was suffering.

She was breaking.

And I am responsible for it all.

He throws up again.

“Shit! Here people go again, dying all around me. Okay, Okay, Ginevra you handle Draco. I need
to go help Hermione.”

And once more, it is Nott taking care of her. Nott coming to the fucking rescue.

He was the one to save her. Draco had just flooed in and helped the process. He was the one to
help her through her darkest moments at the beginning of her stay with them. She chose to tell her
secrets and stories to him. He was the one to make her laugh and light up. The healed wounds and
scars were because of him. He was the hero.

Her hero.

Draco wasn’t her hero.

He was her villain.

One of many.

“Fuuuuuuccccckkkkk!” He slams his head against the wall again.

He feels the Weaselette move close to him and cast a scourgify.

“Listen, Ferret, you need to pull yourself together, alright? You see, I think I know what you are
thinking right now. And while I am pretty sure I am missing a lot of the story here, I can
confidently say that my brother is so fucking wrong. Okay? Trust me, as someone from the outside
looking in, I see it. I have been seeing it since I got here. My brother is wrong, Malfoy. He is
wrong.”

Like the ginger knew anything. Merlin, what kind of world is he living in where he agrees with
Ronald Fucking Weasley?
“I’m her ruin.”

“Uh uh. Nope. Stop the self-destructing right now, Draco. You are not. You didn’t use her. You
didn’t manipulate her. You have saved her time and time again. Just take a breath. Give her some
time. She will work through this on her own, and when she does, you need to be…”

“I should go.”

Yes. That is the first good idea he has had. He should have left as soon as Theo saved her. Put
distance between himself and her. From his number one temptation. He shouldn’t have stayed with
her or slept in the same room as her. He could have gone to the scouting barracks and requested a
room. It would have been easy. That is what he should have done. He should have been giving her
space from the get-go.

“Wait, what? No, Draco, you can’t go. She needs…”

“She needs to be as far away from me as possible.” He tries to stand and is able to lean against the
wall and rise to his feet. He feels sick. Like he is going to vomit again, but he has nothing left.

Nothing left.

Nothing left.

His attempts at occluding are still not sticking. Still not working.

“No, Draco, no. Stop! She doesn’t need another person choosing to leave her right now. That
would be the worst fucking thing you could do to her. She cares about you, mate. Deeply cares for
you, remember?”

Draco shakes his head both at Theo’s words and at the ice-cracking sound of shattering consuming
his mind with each failed attempt to build his walls.

“That is the trauma, Nott! Remember? Remember how it was at the beginning? How confused you
were, how, how attached she was to me. All this, everything, everything wasn’t real. Fuck! I didn’t
mean to. I didn’t mean to, honestly I...”

“Admit it!”

His eyes dart to the now open door in the hallway where a small brunette is stalking toward him
with fury emitting from every move of her body.

I deserve this.

I deserve this.

That chill ache travels down the nape of his neck and into his chest, taking his breath away.

You were wrong , Weasel. I am the one about to lose her.

I deserve this.
She stands in front of him as he continues to look at a spot above her head. He can’t look at her. He
can’t look her in those beautiful golden-filled eyes and know what he had done. What he was guilty
of. What she wants him to admit.

I’m so sorry , Granger.

It wasn’t on purpose.

“I said admit it, Malfoy!”

Her small warm hands shove him into the wall. Somehow, even though the witch was much
shorter than him, he feels the need to cower at her closeness, at her anger. An anger she should be
feeling. An anger that was correctly placed.

“It was an accident. I swear, Granger, I swear. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to.”

“What? No Malfoy, admit it!”

“Teddy, let’s go. Give them some privacy.”

He squeezes his eyes shut as he hears them leave. Of course, she would make him say it. Of
course, she would demand that he admit it all.

He opens his mouth to plead for her forgiveness, which he knew he wouldn’t accept even by the
impossible chance she would offer it. But he needed her to know that he hadn’t planned to. He
hadn’t wanted to. It hadn’t been intentional. Nothing in him ever wanted to hurt her. But he had.

Fuck he had.

Again.

Instead of words, he feels bile burning his throat again and quickly locks his jaw together to keep
himself from losing it in front of her.

He was the guilty one. He shouldn’t be the one to be a mess at the moment. She should be given
the chance before him. She should be given the space to be angry, sad, vengeful, and hurt. She
deserves all the space to do that. He deserves none.

She shoves him again, but he keeps his eyes closed.

“Say it! Tell me, Malfoy! Fucking admit it!”

This is going to hurt. No, this is going to destroy. This is going to ruin.

“I ruined you!” Draco covers his hands over his face as he cracks out the three words.

“What?” Her voice has lost some of its fire.

“I am the monster. I should have been better, faster, smarter, been softer, been more distant. Given
you more space, and not… not selfish with you. I didn’t mean to Granger. Fuck, please, if you
believe anything. Please believe I don’t hate you. Believe I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean
to use you or… take advantage of you, or be the reason you were cap…”

Something hits him in the face.

He removes his hands and opens his eyes to see her damn sneaker lying on the ground in front of
him. Draco looks up to see the beautiful woman’s arm back with her other shoe in her hand.

“No, Malfoy. No. Shut the hell up right now. No, no, no! I… I am right. What you are saying isn’t
real. Just admit it, for fuck's sake, so none of this is even close to what is real!”

He finally meets her eyes. They are on fire. Angry, determined, and confident. They are her eyes.
Not the other her. Not the switched her. Not the her that pleaded for the fucker to stay.

The eyes looking at him right now are the ones that he saw when she punched him. That he had
seen handing out pins and trying to change the world as a child. When she would correct students
and teachers alike with assuredness. The eyes that had told him they would all get out of this shit of
a life they had been forced to live.

“What do you want me to admit, Granger?”

She throws her hands up into the air and growls out of frustration. He is so confused. She seems
mad at him. But not in the way he thinks makes any sense. She is standing close to him instead of
away like she should be if she were scared of him. Throwing shoes at him, which had honestly
become part of some twisted foreplay for the two of them. She doesn’t seem afraid. She isn’t
looking at him like he is a monster, like she hates him. She is standing close, challenging him.
Acting almost as if… as if she wants to play.

“The secret Malfoy! The secret we both know you have been keeping since school. Just fucking
admit it! Make this all undoubtedly real! Because I know I am right. I know I am not crazy. I know
it. I know it!”

Fuck.

The secret.

The secret. Well , that meant one secret , right? Which fucking one had she figured out?

There is no way she remembers THE secret.

He had exactly 74 secrets, both big and small when it came to her during their school years.

Draco liked his numbers, so he knew instantly how horrible his odds would be for correctly
guessing the one she was asking for. And like hell, would he guess with her. He was already in
enough shit as it was.

“What are you talking about, Granger?”

She growls and throws the other shoe.

It misses.
“I need a heel.” Granger stomps away, swinging her arms manically at her sides.

What is fucking happening?

He catches up to her as she enters their room, and he grabs her shoulder, stopping her from
advancing and wielding the extremely sharp and painful shoe.

“Granger, what is going on? Please tell me what you want. What do you want me to say. I will say
anything. I will say any truth, lie, or something in between that you want. Just tell me!”

She jerks out of his grasp. He prefers her jerking over her flinching. Flinching was the other her.
Jerking was a fire-filled Granger. His favorite kind.

“No! It is your turn to tell me, Malfoy! To finally fucking tell me! Just say it! Admit it!”

“Admit what?!” He probably shouldn’t be yelling at her. She didn’t deserve to be yelled at. But the
woman who had run away from him earlier wasn’t the same woman standing in front of him now.

This one he knew. He recognized. This one was on fire. This one made him feel alive and respond
in kind.

“That this has been real!”

She glares at him from across the room. He watches her chest rise and fall with her quick breaths in
and out. He blinks after her 11th inhale.

She… She believes this has all been real? Was that, was that a good thing or a bad thing? What
should he do?

It had been real for him, but how could he be sure it was real for her? How could he be sure this
wasn’t all happening because of what she had been through?

“It.. it has been real for me. All of it, Granger. Every moment. But… are you sure it has been real
for you?”

Her beautiful face changes from scrunched to puzzled. The three crease lines on her forehead
disappear, and he watches as her shoulders relax.

“What do you mean?”

“Has this, has this all been real for you? You are the only one who can answer that, but I… I don’t
know why you have trusted me. I don’t know why you gave yourself to me in so many ways.
Because Granger, you do not owe me anything. Nothing. What I have done and what I will
continue to do, I expect nothing in return. Because, because like I said a long time ago, you can
have anything you want from me. But only if you want it.”

The witch blinks, and large tears create wet streaks down her face. That ice-cracking chill feels like
it is grounding into him. He has made her cry again.

Fuck I hate myself. Fuck Granger fuck!

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t think you are crazy. You are brilliant, and hope, and…”

“Just admit it, Malfoy.”

He looks up at her weakly whispered words. But she is moving. She is walking across the room,
wiping her tears off of her face and whispering the two words repeatedly to herself more than to
him.

“Admit it. Admit it. Admit it...”

They are rising in volume with every exclamation. He watches as she grabs her large bag off the
floor and, like she knows exactly where the item she is looking for is, sticks her entire arm down
into the opening.

She is still repeating the words.

“Admit it. Admit it! Admit it! ADMIT IT!”

Granger pulls her arm out and throws something onto the floor between them as she screams one
last time.

It is more than something on the floor.

It is a lot of things.

Pieces of paper.

No, they are…….

Wait… are those…

“Admit it.”

He stares down at them.

At all 58 of them.

“My notes.”

He hears an ache-filled noise and looks up in time to see Granger running at him.

She crashes into him before he can brace himself, and they both fall onto the floor.

His arms wrap around her and pull her tighter as she buries her face into his neck and begins to sob.

“Granger, why…”

She cuts him off by grabbing his face and pressing her lips against his. They are salty and wet and
trembling, but not one fucking piece of him cares.

His hand twists into her locks he hasn't touched in what feels like forever, and he pulls their faces
together closer. Her lips part, and he sinks in, tasting her.

Fuck he was starving.

“This is real…” She says with his tongue filling her mouth. “This has been real…” He grabs her
bottom lip between his teeth and sucks it in. “Before everything that happened…” he licks her
plump and tear-covered mouth. “To me.”

Her hands travel to the sides of his face and pull him back.

Nononononono , don’t stop touching me. For Merlin’s sake , I can’t survive anymore without you
touching me.

“Malfoy.”

He opens his eyes and looks at her. She is smiling.

Fuck yes. Yesyesyesyes.

Never stop smiling , Granger.

I want to make you smile forever.

“Admit it.”

He looks over her shoulder at the 58 notes. He counts them. There are exactly 58. She had kept
every single one of them. Every last one. For years. For years she had kept them. She had labeled
them as something worth keeping. Something worth carrying. Something worth taking with her
when she had left everything else behind.

And she had known they were from him.

And that… that meant everything.

He feels his own eyes beginning to water at the impossible truth she just shared.

It had all been real.

Not just for him, but for her.

It is real.

“Note 1 has a dark stain in the right corner from Crabbe knocking over my inkpot.”

He kisses her.

“Note 7 told you how pretty you looked in your periwinkle dress.”

He kisses her.
“Note 16 informed you that Filch had switched up his patrol route and to stay out of the west
corridors.”

He kisses her.

“Note 23 has one of the worst jokes I have ever come up with, and I expect you to destroy that one
once we are through here.”

He kisses her, and she laughs.

“Note 38 told you that the Weasel was snogging Brown in the alcove next to the greenhouses.
Sorry about that one.”

He kisses her, and even though his eyes are closed, he knows hers are rolling.

“Note 41 had galleons attached to the back for you to get a new pair of shoes.”

He kisses her.

“Note 57 informed you that I wouldn’t be around to do this with you for much longer.”

He kisses her.

“And… Note 58 said as much as I could say, Granger.”

He kisses her, and this time he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t need air. That was a lie. That was for other
people to waste their time with. He couldn’t stop, not for a second. His lips needed to stay on her
for as long as she would allow him.

It looks like she will allow me for a very long time.

Fuck, this is happening.

This is happening.

She finally pulls away, but he is satisfied from not growling at the loss of her warmth, softness, and
tenderness as she gasps loudly. She had been trying to hold out for as long as she could too.

Draco watches his witch.

His witch.

My witch.

Mine.

She is allowing me to make her mine.

You are mine , Granger.

Forever.
He leans his forehead against hers, cups the back of her neck as she squeezes her eyes shut, and
continues to smile through the hiccups and tears that keep coming.

“It has been real for me for a long time too, Granger. I admit it.”

She crashes her lips into his again and pushes him down all the way onto the floor. Draco rolls
them over and maneuvers his hands all over her on fire skin.

Burn me. Burn all of me , Granger.

Her hands begin to unbutton his shirt as she moves her mouth to his neck and begins to suck and
bite at his freezing skin, sending his body into waves of shocks and spasms that he never wants to
stop.

He buries his face into her curls and takes a deep breath as he hears her grunt and then rips his shirt
open, buttons flying everywhere.

“You want me. You have wanted me. You care for me. You have cared for me.”

She says the sentences between long, languid kisses that travel down his chest and against the litter
of scars.

His hand travels underneath her shirt and cups her breast as he licks underneath her ear, making one
of her glorious noises leave.

Merlin, I have missed hearing those pretty noises leave your mouth , Granger.

“I’m not crazy. I’m not wrong.”

He shakes his head and moves his hands to unbutton her jeans as she does the same. They both
strip them off quickly, along with their undergarments, before colliding again.

“I want you. I wanted you. I will always want you. Every version and tense of the word belongs to
you, Granger.”

Wrong four-letter word Malfoy.

Her hands and nails dig into his back, working their way down to his arse. She isn’t being gentle or
tentative.

Her motions, and hands, and hips, and lips are all taking, claiming, and showing her power.
Prove everything you need to.

Let’s win another battle together.

Her hands move between them, and she takes his length into her hands and positions it at her
entrance. “I think this last week has been plenty of foreplay, don’t you think?”

His hands grab both sides of her face as he kisses every piece of skin within reach. “Fuck yes.”

She pushes his tip in, and he does the rest.

He thrusts all the way in one motion.

This, this is where I belong.

“Made for me…” Draco starts thrusting hard as she wraps her legs around his hips and grabs onto
his neck to hold on. “Made for you…”

His forehead falls onto hers, and he opens his eyes to see she is already staring back at him.
Smiling. Powerful. Assured. On fire.

“You’re on fire.”

He feels her walls contract around him, and he groans, pausing to stop this from ending way sooner
than he wants it to.

“For you. Always and only for you.”

Fuck Granger, stop talking like that to me right now… I have to get you off first, at least once.

He dives into her mouth and fills it with his tongue, stopping any more orgasmic words from
leaving it. His hand moves between them and spreads her to place pressure on her clit.

She moans into his mouth as he starts circling and rubbing the bundle of nerves, placing pressure
at the exact moment he thrusts all the way into her. Hitting the wall every time.

I want to claim all of you.

Every piece of you.

Your heart.

Your body.
Your mouth.

Your soul.

I want it all , Granger.

I need it all.

“You’re mine now. Do you understand?”

She nods and moans again as her walls clench around his dick. She is close.

“No, Granger. I need you to use your words. I need you to tell me that you understand that you are
mine.”

He thrusts.

“Every piece of you is mine now.”

He thrusts.

“Not just sex.”

He thrusts.

“Not just lessons and deals.”

He thrusts.

“This is real. You kept the notes, so this is real, and you are wholly and entirely mine now. Do you
understand?”

He thrusts.

“Hermione, admit it.”

He watches her open her eyes that had fallen closed as he spoke. She looks in between his as she
continues to let out small noises as he drives into her, pushing her closer to the edge.

Come on, come on , Granger.

“I am yours, Draco Malfoy. I am...”

Her walls start spasming around him, and he consumes his name on her lips before she is even
allowed to finish. Her moans turn into high-pitched cries that he devours as he feels her clench
again and again around him.

The pressure, and warmth, and soft skin, and her, just all of her, sends him following her over the
edge. He sees red as it hits him, and he starts coming inside her, tongue deep inside her, hands all
over her.
 Mine.

“Mine.”

“Yours.” He hears her whisper into his ear as he comes down from the most intense orgasm he has
ever experienced.

“And you are mine.”

She says, and he nods his head as he gives out from holding his weight above her. He wraps his
arms around her and finds her lips again.

“I’m yours, Hermione. I’ve been yours. I admit it.”

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Sexual and physical abuse is mentioned.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

"Nott, I need another one."

Draco's hands are balled into fists that he hasn't let relax within the last two hours they had been
sitting in this meeting with The Order. He was seriously going to blow multiple blood vessels if he
didn't relax a bit, and soon.

Theo pulls a vial out of his healing kit and hands it to him.

It was the last one he had brought. He thought six would be enough to contain the dragon in the
presence of the Weasel for the duration of the meeting they had been asked very forcefully to
attend, but Theo had been wrong.

This was the first time Draco was seeing the man after he had basically treated his girl like trash
three days ago. Theo knew he wanted to hurt him. And while Hermione was beyond pissed at the
bastard, maiming him was apparently still off the table, or the bloke would already be bleeding out
somewhere.

Thankfully, Hermione had agreed to ward him off of the property after their fight. And to Theo's
knowledge, the git hadn't tried to come back. He had been asking to floo her multiple times a day to
apologize, though, but Ginevra always handled those interactions for the rest of them by throwing
him her middle finger before closing the connection.

"Agreements with the council in Russia are looking promising. Once they are secured, we will
have the reinforcements needed to handle the third phase."

Meaning the Death Eater army that would still remain after they took care of killing the noseless
git.

Theo has no desire to be a part of that phase. No more battlefields. One was enough for him.

"We still need to discuss a plan for after killing You Know Who for the five of us. But I believe
'Mione should be here for that discussion."

Theo hears Draco's breath catch, and his bones crack at the sound of the awful pet name the
redhead has for his girl.

Shit… does he have a death wish?

Draco tried to force The Order to take Ronald off of the mission and replace him with Longbottom,
but they wouldn't listen to his demands for a reason beyond Theo. By the way Draco was staring
down almost everyone at the table currently, Theo is convinced he had an idea, but he hadn't
shared it with him yet.

"Granger will not be taking part in that phase of the mission."

The words are clipped and barely make it through his clenched teeth.

Apparently, something had happened between him and Hermione a couple of days ago after
Ronald left. Something good too for a change of pace in their disastrous lives. Theo couldn't really
understand how the two went from shoving, and screaming, and crying at each other, to incessantly
shagging for three days straight.

All Draco told him was that this had been real for both of them for a while now.

Whatever the hell that meant.

And yes, while the shagging was becoming a bit ridiculous in his opinion, especially because the
two still proved how entirely horrible they were at putting up silencing charms, he was beyond
happy for them both.

The morning after the altercation with Ron, the two had joined him and Ginevra for breakfast for
less than five minutes before jumping each other and disappearing back into their room.

If anyone deserved a break, it was them.

Ron glares across the table. "I am sure she wouldn't appreciate you putting words into her mouth,
you prick."

Oh boy, here we go again…

Instead of straightening, Draco leans back in his chair. "I am very good at putting an assortment of
proclamations into her mouth Weasel. You should have heard the things I was making her scream
this morning."

Theo covers his ears at Draco's vulgar words.

The man across from them slams his fists onto the table and stands. "You fucking rapist! I will…"

His words are cut off by Kingsley hexing the man back and placing a silencing charm around the
bloke.

The two have been stabbing at each other on and off during the last couple of hours. This was the
second silencing charm placed on the tosser.

Calling Draco a rapist. What a fucking idiot. His kindness toward the man ended the moment he
called Hermione broken. And he kept adding to the offenses every time he spoke. Theo was not an
angry person, but even he had to take a draught before seeing him again, he can't imagine what
Draco is feeling.

"Let us try to keep this meeting professional. I understand emotions are running high for many, but
we need to focus on the opportunity in front of us and not become distracted. This may be one of
the only chances we have, so everyone needs to be their best. Do we understand?"
For some reason, the large man Theo had grown to dislike more and more with every interaction
looked at him. What the hell had he done? He hadn't said a damn word the entirety of the meeting.

Theo nods his head to get the man's searing eyes off of him that travel up to the blonde.

"I understand entirely."

The two men stare at each other for a moment before Kingsley's eyes move to Ronald, who is still
standing, chest heaving.

"Nod if you understand, Mr. Weasley."

After a few moments, the bloke slams his fists again and kicks his chair out of the way before
storming off.

Leaving really seems to be your thing, Ronald Weasley.

"If we are done here…" Draco makes to stand, and Theo doesn't have to be told twice.

There are too many people in this room. And Ginevra and Hermione were alone back in that house
of horrors which always made him anxious.

"Mr. Malfoy, I would like to speak with you alone. Everyone else may be dismissed."

Theo watches his brother's jaw tense.

The others slowly move out of the room. Minerva is the only one who seems to hesitate before
looking at Theo and nodding her head for him to follow.

Hell no. I am not leaving him alone either.

"Nott go. Take care of what you need to. I will meet you at the stairs."

Theo looks over to his brother, who hasn't taken his eyes off Kingsley.

"You sure?"

The man nods his head, and Theo reluctantly turns to go. He didn't like leaving him alone with the
man, but like Theo was any match for him in the first place. Draco was much better at taking care
of himself in that department and had outsmarted much darker and more evil people than Kingsley
Shacklebolt.

Theo walks out of the room and clings to the wall as he hesitantly works his way up the rickety
stairs.

There are what, like 15 people living in this shithouse. No one can fix a couple of stairs? Or dust
for Merlin's sake?

You know, sometimes you have to stop looking towards the future, and take care of the now. Like
these stairs, and the damn table, and the people you are using.

Thank Merlin Ginevra was still staying with them. The thought of her living in these conditions for
eight months made his stomach turn.

He walks down the hallway and hears who he guesses is Ron losing it behind the door at the end
of the hall.

"I can't fucking calm down, Padma! She is being raped by the prick, and he is gloating about it in
front of us, and no one is doing anything about it! They don't care! How are we different from the
Death Eaters, huh? We are doing the exact same fucking thing they did. Handing her off to a
monster to appease him. To keep him in line so we can use him for our own benefit!"

He hears something smash and then the sounds of flesh hitting flesh. Theo flinches and changes
his path from the tosser's room to the end of the hallway.

If he just fucking hit her, I will hex him myself.

"Ouch! Blimey Padma! That hurt!"

"It was meant to! I'll do it again if you do not sit right now and calm down."

Theo stops in the hallway. Okay, so he hadn't hit her. Good. Good. He really didn't want to add that
to the man's offenses. That one would be unforgivable for Theo.

"You can be mad all you want, Ron, but you have to stop taking it out on everything and everyone
else."

"I probably could if you lot wouldn't have cut off my supply. You can't just quit that easy. I am
going through fucking withdrawal on top of all this shit. Just one drink Padma. Just one."

"No, Ron. We all agreed to intervene after you came back, and your sister is making sure we stick
to the plan. We all miss the old Ron. We want him back."

"He isn't coming back. He's dead."

Theo doesn't hear the rest of the conversation as he opens the door into the man's room. The
priceless, one-of-a-kind, incredibly unique invisibility cloak is lying underneath a plate of food
with a crusty fucking fork half on it.

Damn it, Ronald Weasley, you are making it really hard to like you.

Theo kicks the plate and terrifying weapon across the room and picks up the Gingersnap's cloak
the bastard had stolen.

He walks out and closes the door behind him but meets a red-eyed Ron in the hallway. The man
looks from his face to the cloak in his hands. Theo usually hated confrontation. Hated it more than
anything in the world honestly, but as he looks back at the man stepping closer to him, he feels a
heat rising in his body.

Like it was ready for the challenge. Like it didn't scare him. Like he was willing to actually fight
the man.

Where is this coming from, Theo boy? I kind of like it.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing in my room?"

"Taking back what rightfully belongs to your sister."

The man scoffs and moves to take the cloak out of his hands.

Theo holds onto it tighter and turns away, raising his wand. "I am not a violent man Ronald, but if
you try to take Ginevra's cloak from me, I will stop you."

The bloke stares at him for a minute before he lets out a huff of air and rubs his face. Theo's
shoulders relax a bit.

Ron was giving up. He was defeated. His demeanor screamed it. Without the alcohol, without
Hermione, without his best friend, the man didn't have much fight left in him. Maybe that was a
good thing because the guy seemed obsessed with fighting for the wrong things.

"How… How is she?"

Theo pauses for a moment before lowering his wand.

"She is good. Honestly, Ronald, she is doing really, really well, all things considered…"

The man squeezes his eyes shut and rubs the back of his neck. "Does… Does she hate me?"

He opens them slowly and looks up at Theo. Ron's eyes are watering. It was obvious he felt bad
for how he handled his last interaction with Hermione, as he should.

Theo sighs. "No, I think we both know she couldn't hate you even if she wanted to, but she is
furious with you, as I think we can both agree you deserve."

He watches as Ron nods his head and looks down at the floor. If he is going to ask Theo to unward
him from the property, the answer would still be no. Hermione should be given all the time she
needed before allowing the man back into her life in whatever way she deemed appropriate,

"Can you tell her… Will you tell her how sorry I am? How much I regret some of the things I said
to her?"

"Sure, Ron. But it would be best if you stopped trying to floo. Give her space. Even if you want to
apologize, it doesn't mean you have a right to."
He nods his head and leans his side into the wall next to him. Theo sees movement behind the man
and meets the eyes of one of the Patil twins. Probably Padma if it was his guess. She is staring at
the man between them with sadness.

Theo was glad to hear Ginevra was including others in her plan to help her brother with his alcohol
problem. She would need all the help she could get from the looks of it.

Theo gives the woman a half-smile before turning and making his way down the hallway to the
stairs, where he sees Draco waiting.

"I see you were able to retrieve what you came for."

Theo's chest heats as they make their way out of the house. No, he came because he was very
interested in the exact details of The Order's extensive plans for the four of them. Even though
Draco had successfully explained everything to him on more than one occasion before. He
admitted that he should be more involved with the actual interactions with the group, and if it gave
him an opportunity to get back something that belonged to Ginevra, well, a win-win in his book.

"Yes, so what did the Shacklebastard want with you?"

Draco scoffs at his question. "To remind me what we are to them."

"And what is that?"

Neville is waiting for them at the edge of the wards and grabs both of their hands to pull them
through.

Draco goes silent until the man says something neither of them really take in and walks away.

"Pawns Theo. That is all we will ever be to anyone in this war."

He disapparates, and Theo follows.

Draco knew better than anyone what it felt like to be a pawn in a bigger game taking place. To be
treated as one of the less important pieces on the chessboard. One that was extinguishable.

One that was willing to be sacrificed.

His father had used him as a child to stay in the Dark Lord's graces.

The Dark Lord had used the fear and love he found inside him for his mother against him to try to
do the impossible.

Dumbledore had used him by allowing others to take advantage of him, so things would fall into
place just like he wanted them to.

Carrow had used him for her own pleasure.

And now, The Order was using him for their wants and desires.

And even though their desires were currently in agreement with each other, the future wasn't.

Their protection and promises were shaky at best now. What would they do with them once they
had done their job? If they made it? Did they want them to make it?

Theo knows Draco has thought all the same things as they continue to work with the group. It
didn't feel very different sitting in those meetings then it did sitting at one surrounded by Death
Eaters. More practiced and fake civility for sure. And there were more generally good people
present as well. But the overall feel was the same.

Theo opens the gates onto the manor grounds. "Do you think Ron is trying to convince them all of
his crazy ideas?"

"I don't think anyone is taking him seriously at this point. Even Longbottom isn't convinced."

"Well, I'm proud of you for not killing him."

Draco grunts and starts walking down the path to the house.

"About the side project I told you I would possibly need your assistance with…"

Theo moves to stand next to the blonde and looks up at him. They hadn't really talked about his
little meltdown the other day. Draco made it clear that he would be talking to Daphne about
pretending to be Hermione for the evening of the Hogwarts mission. Ginevra had rolled her eyes
and told him it was a bit ridiculous and that she had no qualms with playing the role. But Draco
had appeased her by declaring that if he ever touched a Weasley in the ways he more than likely
would have to during the mission, his skin would fall off just like with his curse.

The woman had somehow made his soup explode all over his most expensive dress shirt yesterday
in retaliation.

"It may include murder."

Theo's feet falter. "What? Like actual murder?"

Draco stops and turns to face him. His face gives no hint to what he is feeling. Yes, the man had
killed before, but it wasn't in cold blood. It wasn't planned. It was mercy, like Hermione said. And
it had affected his brother. Whether he wanted to admit it or not. So the admittance that Draco was
planning on actually killing someone and was wanting his help shocked him. At first, he thinks he
may be thinking of killing Ron, but there is no way the man would risk losing Hermione over the
wanker.

"Dolohov?"

To his surprise, Draco shakes his head as his fists ball up again.

"No. That one is Grangers. And unfortunately, I am not sure if we could murder him and get away
with it. He is much more important to the Dark Lord than Carrow."

So he planned on killing a Carrow.

"Which one?"

"Hers. Not mine. Mine I have different plans for."

Theo nods his head, even though he is starting to feel sick. Draco wanted his help in ending a life.
That went against everything Theo worked so hard to be. He didn't break things, wreck things, kill
things. He preserved them. He fixed them. He kept them. He took care of them.

And the one time he was forced to… hurt someone… almost destroyed him.

"You really could do it, Draco? You could kill someone?"

"Yes Theo, I can and will kill many people before this is all over. I assure you."

Theo gulps and starts walking again. This was a very uncomfortable conversation.

"I need you to make me a potion I looked up, here."

He hands him a list of ingredients and instructions.

"Why, why can't you?"

Draco huffs and rubs at his face as they walk to the front entrance. "Because I am behind on so
much fucking paperwork already, and if I disappear for too long, Granger gets suspicious. If I want
to do this before I lose the opportunity, I will need your help."

"So you don't plan on telling her?"

"No. This, this one is mine. I need to do something to one of the fuckers. I… I need to, Nott."

Theo places the list into his inside robe pocket as they enter the manor.

"I plan on ending all of them, Theo."

He begins to shake his head in agreement but then pauses as the implication of what Draco had just
said hits him.

All of them.

All of them.

All of them included his father.

Draco plans on killing his father.

Theo feels the weight on his chest begin to press.

He stops and turns around to see Draco staring at him, waiting.

"No, Draco."

It doesn't make any sense. He knows it. But the thought of someone killing his only living family
member, even if he was a monster, even if he had beaten him, abused him, tortured him for his
own enjoyment, he couldn't… couldn't be a part of his death, much less stand by and allow
someone to murder him.

Wow, Theo boy, you really are one screwed-up bastard, aren't you?

"Theo, he raped her. He has been hurting you your whole life. He deserves to die."

The weight becomes heavier. He did deserve to die. He did. But he was also his father. His father.
He was talking about killing his own father.

"You don't have to be a part of it whatsoever, Theo. I will do everything when it comes to him. I'll
do it for you and Granger and…"
"No, Draco."

He turns and walks up the stairs, not wanting to talk about this. He wouldn't understand. It was so
complex and twisted, and the younger Theo, who hoped that somehow he would be loved by the
man, still lingered somewhere inside him. An impossible, unrealistic hope that he doesn't even
believe but can't let go of to make a decision as permanent as Draco is asking him to make.

"Nott, I have watched that fucker hurt two of the most important people in my life. I want to kill
him. I need to kill him."

Theo just keeps walking up the stairs. This was the kind of conflict he tried to avoid. This was the
kind of confrontation he had no desire to acknowledge.

"I am going to do it, Theo. I know you and Granger may not ever be able to, but I can. I will."

The promise and assuredness in his voice make it hard for Theo to breathe.

He was going to kill his father.

He was going to kill his father.

The Nott family that could be dated back thousands of years through the heavily detailed and
accurate genealogy tomes and tapestries would end with him.

That would be guaranteed if his father was killed and unable to create another heir.

That… was a lot.

Draco grunts in frustration at Theo's determination to take no part in this conversation and opens
the door to his rooms.

Even the sound of the two witches discussing something doesn't take him out of the spiral his mind
is currently drowning in.

"...we all know I call him that to get him all hot and bothered. And come on Hermione, green eyes,
dark hair, sweet naive personality, carrying the baggage of an abusive childhood sounds exactly
like my…"

MEOW

Theo shrugs off his robes as the hideous creature continues to make all sorts of happy noises as it
saunters up to Draco and rubs against his leg, drowning out the conversation of the two women.

"Fuck my life…"

He tries to step around the monstrosity, but he keeps up, almost making the tall blonde trip.

Draco groans at the ceiling before bending down and patting the top of the mangy ginger's head
before continuing.

Theo follows Draco into his and Hermione's room, where the two girls are sitting drinking burnt
chocolate.

Hermione shoots to her feet, running into the blonde's arms before Ginevra can turn around.

"Glad you're still alive, Draco."

They start snogging hard, and Theo looks away and moves over to the redhead watching them a
little too intensely, in his opinion.

"Here."

He places the cloak on her lap, and she grabs it and holds it up to her chest. "Yes! Thanks, Teddy. I
am surprised you didn't hide it and keep it for your collection."

Theo scoffs as he pours himself a mug of the drink. "Please, every item in my collection was
bought legally. And plus, it's yours Ginevra. Your brother shouldn't have taken it in the first place."

She gives him a face like she wants to keep their cheeky banter going, but Theo is drained, and
spiraling, and feels the weight still against his chest due to the small deadly piece of paper lying in
his pocket.

He was tired of feeling heavy.

He was tired of being weighed down by all these hard decisions.

He was just, tired.

Maybe Gingersnap was talking to him. Maybe Draco and Hermione pulled apart from each other
long enough to look at him with concern as he left the room. Maybe walking away wasn't the most
appropriate thing to do in the moment, but he had to. He needed to.

Theo walks into his room and stands there for a few minutes as he becomes heavier and heavier.

He is crawling underneath his bed before he thinks about it.

Draco wanted him to help kill someone. Someone who was evil, no argument from him. The
blonde had clued him in on the horrible names the Carrow Cock referred to Hermione.

But he never saw himself as someone who would ever be responsible for ending a life. And the
thought that Draco planned on ending multiple, and could say it without hesitating, scared him. He
wasn't like his brother in that way. And the thought that one of the lives on his list was his own
father…

"Theo?"

He opens his eyes and looks to the right to see a mess of brown curls pulling away from a face.

"Draco told me you would probably be here. Can… can I join you?"

No one has ever done this with me but Draco.

"Sure."

He stares back up at the grains and lines of wood on the bed frame. Hermione scurries easily
underneath. Much easier than Draco did. She even has enough room to lay sideways facing him.

"What are you thinking, Theo?"

I can't tell you, Hermione. I don't like keeping secrets from you, but Draco is right. It is better for
you not to know. You are carrying enough.

"Do you ever wonder if you like the person you are becoming?" He whispers.

"All the time."

Her small hand moves into his view and traces over the carvings in the wood underneath the bed.
Her hand moves from the TAN to DLM and lingers.

"I don't think I like pieces of me anymore. Some of them… I don't want."

"Me neither." She responds.

Her hand moves to the horribly carved dragon that looked more like a horse breathing fire. They
had only been 13 when they carved them.

"But what if we have to. What if we have to become, become someone we don't want to be to
survive? Is it worth it?"

"We are more than what was done to us, Theo, and we are more than the choices we have been
forced to make."

That was easy for her to say. She endured a hell he never could imagine, but it had been for only
six months. She lived a life with love, family, and light before. He hadn't. The closest thing he ever
had to a family was Draco and Narcissa. And he had them for less than a quarter of each year if he
was lucky.

"But what if those choices destroy who we could have been?"

"This war has already destroyed a lot of us and who we could have been, Theo."

Damn, you and Draco are made for each other. Both great at the pep talks.

"But I remember what life was like before my innocence was lost. I know we can make this world
into that again. That way, no one else is destroyed."

Here she goes, being a bloody noble Gryffindor. It is hard for Theo to think about the world
through the same lens she does. He hasn't seen much of it. These 11 rooms were his world. His
safe space. He didn't want to leave them. The world was too big. Too dangerous. Too unexpected.

"I don't know if I have ever told you this, Theo, but you are one of the strongest people I have ever
met in my life."

He looks over and meets her eyes. "What? Hermione, I am not strong. You could probably defeat
me at dueling or…"

"You endured a life I don't think any of us will ever fathom, yet you are kind, caring,
compassionate, and empathetic, and you see people for who they are rather than what they can be
for you. You see people as people, even after everything. I don't know how you do that."

Yeah well, your fucking boyfriend is wanting me to kill someone so that all could possibly change
soon.

"I still have plenty of forks, Hermione."

She raises her hand again, but this time, it is holding her wand. Theo watches the end light up, and
she starts moving it slowly. He sees the charred wood of an HJG burned into the wood below both
of their names.

"Me too, but that doesn't stop the most important people from caring about us."

Hermione leans up and blows on the burnt wood to remove the small ashes.

"Ron told me to tell you that he is really sorry for some of the things he said to you, by the way."

She scoffs and lays back down. "Does he still believe Draco is raping me? And that I have lost it?"

Theo nods his head.

"Then he can bugger off for all I care."

Theo smiles and turns at the evil witch who was proving how ill-fitting the nickname was. Even
now, she still couldn't say those words about him with her full fire. She cared. She did. Even if she
didn't want to. Theo could relate to that. "He is going through withdrawal and looks like shit."

"Good." She huffs.

She isn't convincing him or herself.

"It is okay to still care about him, Hermione."

Who are you talking to, Theo? Her or you?

Hermione sighs as she puts her wand back in her pocket. "The person you are seeing isn't Ron. He
is so funny, and kind, and sweet when he is sober. And yes, while even sober, I can promise you he
would not have taken the news of Draco and me well; it would have been better than how things
went. I hope you get to meet that Ron someday. I think you would like him."

Theo crosses his arms underneath his head and breathes in. Breathing had become easier. The
weight had become a bit lighter. "I'll take your word for it until then because even I was ready to
get violent with the man today."

He sees her body jerk slightly.

"Did Draco…"
"No, I pumped him full of every calming draught and tranquil remedy out there and made him
occlude deep beforehand. Rather than a few crass comments, he kept to himself."

"Ugh, if either of you mentioned the coffee smudge on my arse to him, I promise, I will give Ginny
permission to go full Weasley on you both."

Theo laughs at the threat. "Yes well, as long as I don't wake up with another…"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Was that? Did someone just…

"What the bloody hell?"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Someone is knocking on his door. Someone is knocking on his front door. In the many years since
he created this little home of his, no one, and he repeats no one had knocked on his front door.

Ever.

They both roll out from underneath the bed to see Draco walking towards the front door with his
wand already out. Theo runs after him.

Shit, maybe his father or Dolohov or someone else figured out a way to break his wards without
alerting him. Maybe the monsters were at his doorstep.

"Theo…"

"I don't have a clue Draco. I didn't feel a single ward go off."

"And the Weasel…"

"Still warded out for all I…"

"C'mon new and improved Golden Trio! Open the damn door!"

Theo lowers his wand.

You have got to be kidding me…

"Fine then! I'll kick it in. Pans, move over, give me space…"
"Theo." He looks up at Draco, who seems both relieved and heavily annoyed at the same time.

"I added them to the wards after the night you had them go through to the main floo. I never took
them off, sorry."

"I'm not kidding, Nott! I don't know if this door is some knick-knack that dates back to before
Salazar's first lay or what, but I am kicking through in three…"

"He's going to do it, Theo."

"Two!"

Fuck, first the stain on my ceiling, now my front door.

It wasn't some priceless item or anything, but he would rather not have a broken front door if he
could help it.

"One!"

Draco grabs the handle and opens the door, at the exact same time Blaise lowers his bent back leg
with all of his might into nothing. The man falls with his weight that makes no contact until he
lands hard on his back with a loud grunt.

"FUCK!"

"We brought the good stuff!" Pansy steps over her boyfriend like he is a rug on the floor and tosses
a bottle of liquor at Draco, as Daphne follows and Blaise continues to moan.

"What are you guys…"

"You kicked us off the inner floo, but you never kicked us off the main one. And it is gambling
night! The tradition has been skipped too many weeks already."

Blaise recovers and stands up, dusting the front of his robes off and glaring at Draco. "You owe me
scout rounds next mission Frosty."

"You… You guys are here. You are in here right now. Where the THREE of us live." Theo freezes
at the sound of Hermione's voice and the words she says.

Oh shit, Ginevra.

Theo looks up to see Draco meeting his gaze. Over the years, the two of them seemed to be able to
communicate without saying anything at all. It came in handy at moments like this. Theo nods at
the same time he does.

"Actually, first. Follow me. I need to speak with all of you."

Theo doesn't wait to hear the exchange between Draco and the snakes. He turns and looks at
Hermione, who mouths KITCHEN to him before he continues past her.

He runs into the kitchen to see Ginevra looking over Hermione's list on the fridge. Hermione had
crossed a couple of them off to their delight over the past few months. They would all like to see
the day when there was no need for the list anymore.

"Ginevra, we have a bit of a situation."

"Are we going on another field trip Teddy? Those always promise excitement." She turns towards
him and winks.

"No, no I am serious. Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne are here. They can't know you are here. Their
minds aren't safe like ours are. If they…"

"I get it, Teddy. I need to hide. Should I go to the room I have been staying in?"

She moved into the room Ron had vacated after his dramatic exit, and after it became quite clear
Draco was claiming his sleeping place next to Hermione again.

"Shit no, that room shares a wall with the game room, and they get rowdy, as I am sure you can
imagine. Go to my room. You can sleep there tonight."

"Wow Teddy, asking me to bed already? I didn't think you had it in you."

Theo groans and pokes his head out of the kitchen to ensure no snake is making its way down the
hallway.

"You are the one who invited herself to move in with me without even asking first. I think it is
clear which one of us is the more presumptuous one. Now come on. Blaise is not known for his
patience."

He moves into the hallway and looks around the corner to the main entryway. It is empty.

"Shit, I did, didn't I? Well Teddy, would it be okay if I moved in with you? I have gotta say I don't
think I can go back to the life of squalor after being spoiled so excessively."

"Sure Gingersnap, stay as long as you want. Just come on."

He makes his way to his bedroom door and opens it. She skips inside and jumps onto his bed,
laying on her back before he even has the door shut.

"Oh your bed is even better than the one in my room. Do you use some charm to make them so
comfortable?"

The woman makes a series of noises that make his ears flush.

"Nott! I need you!"

Theo rolls his eyes and covers his face with his hands. That weight was still on his chest, making
the aching in his body heighten with each trying breath.

"I'll be back." He says it over his shoulder before sliding out the door.

Draco is throwing what looks to be Hermione's ugly creature into their room and locking the door.

"Is she…"
Theo nods. "Yeah, she is staying in my room. That way, she is as far away as possible from all of
them."

Draco tosses Ginevra's cloak at him as Theo hears the sound of something shattering down the
hall. For a second, he imagines the plaque he would be making tomorrow but then remembers he
and Ginevra had protected every item in the game room a few days ago. It must have been one of
the bottles they brought.

"Put that in with her as well. Blaise will know what it is if he spots it."

Theo turns, cracks the door open, tosses it in the room, and shuts the door.

He follows his brother down the hallway, dreading the night to come. Blaise seems extra cheeky
already, and Theo doesn't have the mental energy to keep up or even play along.

As they enter the room, Theo stops. He watches as Draco sits down in a seat and pulls Hermione
onto his lap. She lets out a small yelp before playfully hitting him on the shoulder, but she doesn't
stop him from planting a kiss right below her ear. At the gesture, the crowd erupts. Theo's hands go
up to his head again at the bone-shaking noise.

"Wait, what the fuck happened?!" / "Draco finally shagged the Golden Girl!" / "Congratulations,
you two." / "So how's the sex? Take Pans number one spot Draco? Ouch! fuck Pans, not my ear.
You know they are sensitive."

Theo continues to stand there, feeling the weight getting heavier, seeing the spots start to appear.

I… I can't do this tonight. I don't have it in me tonight.

"I'm sitting this one out. You guys have fun. And no having sex in my library! Or in the guestroom!
Or, you know what, just no shagging in my house tonight!"

"I can promise you; we will be breaking that rule."

Hermione hits the blonde for him.

Theo begins to walk out but turns and accios the pot of burnt chocolate and a mug before walking
back to his room.

Burnt chocolate, you make everything better.

He opens his bedroom door as Ginevra is bending over the side of the desk for some reason.

That arse of hers is lifted right in front of him, and to his embarrassment, it takes him a moment to
remember he is a gentleman and looks away.

"What are you doing, Gingersnap?"

"This room is not what I expected, Teddy! I thought your bedroom would be cluttered yet
organized like the rest of your rooms. But this one is just cluttered. You even have one of your
collector's pieces jammed in behind this desk… but… I ergh… got it!"

She lifts up and holds a very small container that Theo remembers placing a collection of uncut
gemstones in.

"Yes, well, technically, this is the spare room. My bedroom used to be the one Draco and
Hermione now share, but we gave it to her when she first came, and Draco lived in the one you are
currently staying in. This one has become like a closet over the years…" He has to stop his
sentence as he runs out of air from the damn weight that refuses to leave his chest.

Theo places the pot and cup on the table before moving to slump onto his bed. He covers his eyes
with his arm and tries to take in deep breaths, but he finds he can't.

Is this what it will always feel like?

To carry someone's death with me?

"Teddy, do you want to be alone?"

"Yes."

Silence for a few moments.

"Okay."

He hears a noise and looks up to see most of Ginevra disappearing.

Wait, where is she going? No, no, wait, I don't want you to go.

"No, wait! That, that doesn't mean you have to go."

He shoots up and sees her staring back at him with her eyebrows scrunching together.

Shit, what am I doing?

"But you said you wanted to be alone?"

He rubs up his face and into his hair. He makes no sense. No sense at all. He does want to be
alone, but he also doesn't want her to leave.

"I… I do. But I want to be alone with you. I can be alone better with you."

Theo closes his eyes as the incoherent and all over the place words leave his mouth.
You are such a git, Theo. An absolute raging…

"Okay, Teddy. I like being alone with you too."

He opens his eyes and sees her throwing the cloak onto the chair, plopping down in front of him.

"So what do you want to do? Or do you want some quiet time?"

She is staying. She really is staying? All he had to do was ask, and she chose to stay with him? And
she said she liked being alone with him.

Well, this is awesome.

"How about we work on charming all of the pieces in this room tonight?"

Theo watches her walk over to the pot of burnt chocolate he had stolen, pour a glass, and start
drinking.

"Oh this is spiked ho… burnt chocolate. Nice Hermione."

She takes another sip and then holds out the cup to him. Shit, he should have brought two.

"You can have the rest, Teddy. Or are you opposed to drinking after others?"

Theo stares down at the mug bowl she is holding out to him. He has never drank after someone
else before. He wasn't some germ freak or anything. That wasn't a part of his weirdness. But still,
he has never done it before. Does he have a thing against drinking after others or using the same
cup?

"I don't think I am."

He reaches out and takes the mug and brings it to his mouth, taking a sip. This feels different.

But I don't think I dislike it.

"You just relax a bit. I am sure that meeting was a lot with my tosser of a brother. I'm going to try
to organize most of the pieces first, so we have access to as many as possible."

Theo sits and watches her pull out different items from places he had completely forgotten about
until seeing them again. She works efficiently, quietly, like her whole concentration is on what she
is doing.

He sees her handle each piece with care and attention, showing she understands what they all must
mean to him.

She is so cool.

"Thank you, Ginevra, I really appreciate your help. And the fact that I no longer have to make
bloody plaques is life-changing, seriously."

She laughs as she pulls out a candelabra set from behind the large armoire pushed between the desk
and the front door.

"I used to love helping my father with his collections. I grew up sitting on the floor in front of him,
helping him tinker, clean, or protect some new piece from the muggle world he acquired. All the
while, listening to him tell me all about it. Doing this… it feels… I don't know, peaceful almost."

She sets the object down next to the dozens she is placing all over the floor. There is only a small
spot from the corner of the armoire to the bed that she has any room to walk in any more. Theo
accios the pot and fills the cup again. Drinking half of it before handing it to her and letting her
finish it off.

"Your father sounds like an awesome bloke."

She smiles. "He is. I think you two would get along very well. Maybe when this is all over, you
two can discuss your collections. I am sure he would love that. None of my brothers ever were
interested in it with him. I was the only one who was amicable."

She hands him back the cup and turns and opens the wardrobe.

"Oh sweet Teddy! Are these collector's pieces too?"

She disappears behind the large doors of the cabinet. Theo tries to rack his brain for what she
could be talking about, but he hadn't opened that wardrobe in a very long time and can't remember
what he stores in there.

That is, until Ginevra comes out sporting an antique robe from 300 years ago.

Oh shit… That's where I put all the antique clothing pieces I bought.

I bought a lot.

Including…

Oh shit, oh shit.

Don't let her find it.

Don't let her…

"Is this some type of slip?"

I hate my fucking life.

Theo doesn't look up. Instead, he lays down on his back, closing his eyes. Wishing above anything
else in the world for the Gingersnap to stop.

"Oh fuck yes! Is this seriously real, Teddy?"

He opens one eye and turns his head over to where she is standing, holding it out.

Yeah, she has it. She found it. Of course, she fucking found it. And shit, she is putting it on.

"Now I'm the captain."

Oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

He wants to die. He wants to disappear. Where did she put that damn cloak?

He sits up and looks over at the invisibility cloak hanging over the side of the chair. What excuse
could he come up with that wouldn't hurt her feelings? Because there is no way Theo could
continue to be in this room alone with her with that on her head, and with her saying that damn
word again.

"Here, Teddy."

Before he can stop her, she places the authentic, discovered in ruins off the coast of Greece, which
cost him over 1,000 galleons, pirates hat on top of his head.

This can't be happening. This can't be happening.

"Damn Teddy, you look good. You remind me of this book series I read as a kid."

Theo opens his eyes at her words. "Wait, H.G. Sullivan's 18 book series?"

She sits on the bed in front of him, tying a Victorian choker around her neck as she nods her head.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the one! I loved them. Used to pretend all the time I was a member of
the crew."

His face lights up. "Me too! I even gave myself a different name!"

Shit Theo, why would you admit that to her of all people?
She reaches out and pats the hat further onto his head like it should be worn. Theo moves the
strands of wavy curls that push into his eye. He would need another haircut soon.

"I want one! What is yours?"

"Langster Hughes. Swashbuckling most feared captain of the magical seas."

He can't help the laugh that escapes his mouth as she begins as well. It isn't a mean or make fun of
laugh. It is something different. Something he can't really explain again.

"I love it! Okay, Captain Hughes, what should my name be?"

Theo watches her pick up their cup and take another drink as she meets his eyes straight on.

Something is happening. Theo can feel the air in between them changing. The space around them
feels heavier. But not like the weight he still feels on his chest. Like something else. Theo doesn't
understand it. Was some magic happening? Was she doing something?

"You don't need to change your name. You don't need to become someone else. You can still be
Ginevra."

"But you do?"

He watches her move a bit closer as she holds out the mug for him. He takes it.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Theo shrugs. "Langster Hughes has fewer problems."

The air around them continues to get heavier and also warmer. Theo looks around for something,
anything to explain what was happening. She didn't have her wand in her hand, but maybe the
woman knew how to cast some pretty powerful wordless magic. She had broken into his
nightstand to get her wand, for crying out loud.

"Does Langster Hughes have a touching problem too?"

He looks back at her as she reaches forward, grabs the rim of the hat, and crooks it over to the left.

"I… I don't know."

She nods her head and slowly lowers her hand. Leaving it in that heavy much smaller than when
she first sat down, space between them.

"I want to be someone else too. Someone with fewer problems."

Ginevra sits up and bends her knees underneath her, placing the mug on the floor. Theo leans back
as his breath gets caught in his throat.

What is she doing? What is she doing to the air, and the space, and the temperature?
"How are you doing that? What magic are you using?"

She gives him a puzzled expression. "What do you mean? I am not doing any magic right now."

Liar. She has to be lying.

Ginevra leans forward, and Theo watches her hazel eyes move from the hat, to his eyes, to his
mouth.

Do I have burnt chocolate on my face?

"Do you want to pretend for a little while, Theo?"

He bawls the blankets on his bed as she continues to move closer. What is she talking about? What
is she doing?

Why, why do I feel like this?

Do… do I like it?

"We could pretend you are Langster Hughes, and I could pretend…"

She moves even closer. Theo can feel her breath on his skin. It smells like alcohol and burnt
chocolate.

I like that.

"...I could pretend I am not still in love with someone dead."

Theo blinks and meets her eyes that are so close to his own. He can see the sadness in them. It is
always there. She tries to hide it with cheeky comments, crass humor, and a big personality, but
Theo can see it. He recognizes it.

He hadn't been given a chance to ever love someone, nor the horrific experience of losing them.
His mother had died during childbirth, so he had never known her to love her. His father hated his
every breath from the moment he came into this world. And Draco and Hermione, he loved them,
he did, but not in the way Ginevra loves Harry. That is different. Even though he has no first-hand
experience with that choice, and feeling, and everything that comes with it. He can see how heavy
that love is, especially after death.
"Okay."

Somehow she moves even closer but still doesn't touch him. That space becomes heavier and
hotter, and he needs it to stop. It feels like something is about to snap.

"Have you ever kissed someone before?" She whispers.

Wait, what? What? Did she… she wants to kiss me? Me? Why me? Shit… I don't know if I want
to.

That, that is touching. That is a fork for me. Right? That has to stay a fork for me.

"No, and I can guarantee I would be bad at it."

She laughs softly, and Theo feels it in every nerve of his body as the breaths meet his skin again.

"I promise you; you wouldn't be. I have seen the way those lips work around a cigarette."

Her eyes move down to his mouth again. Fuck, she wants to kiss him.

"Do you want to kiss me, Theo?"

"Yes."

Wait, wait, wait, Theo boy. Wait ,no. This is a fork.

This is a fork.

But…

Maybe I could pretend it isn't just this once.

Because fuck, I want to. I want to.

"Then kiss me."

She is so close now. Waiting. Waiting for him. She had figured out it was better if he was in
control. If he was the one to do the touching.
And she wanted him to. She wanted him to touch her.

He looks down at her lips, and something snaps.

Oh, fuck it.

He moves forward and presses his mouth against hers lightly.

Touching her.

Kissing her.

He is kissing her.

Feeling her against his skin, against his lips.

Full, and smooth, and different.

And he has no idea what he is supposed to do.

She makes a small noise that tickles his mouth and sends a shiver through his body.

It is intense. It is a lot. It is…

Do I like this?

Do I like this?

He pulls away to take in a shallow breath.

No, that was a mistake.

He moves forward again, pressing his lips against hers harder, hearing a small gasp come from her
in surprise.

Fuck, I like this.

I like this.

I like this a lot.

She tilts her head to the side, and he follows her out of instinct alone, moving his lips to fit
differently against hers, feeling hers respond, and open, and suck lightly. Her delicious breath
travels into his mouth as their lips stay together, and he moans before he can stop himself, feeling
his erection press against his leg.

Before he realizes what he is doing, he grabs the back of her neck and pulls her closer, pushing
their mouths together harder. She opens wider, and so does Theo, but then her tongue enters his
mouth, and the weight explodes in his chest.

"Fuck Ginevra."

She hums into him, and lets him push her head backward as he angles above her and dips his
tongue into her mouth. The taste of burnt chocolate, alcohol, and something else is all he
recognizes as he presses harder and harder.

I am obsessed.

I have found my new obsession.

His hand holding the nape of her neck squeezes and angles her how he wants. She lets him. She lets
him move, and kiss, and touch where he wants.

He feels pressure on his chest. He is so consumed with her amazing lips working against his that it
takes him a moment to register her hand is on his chest, working the buttons of his shirt. Two of her
fingers graze his exposed collarbone.

The collarbone that was broken when I was 13.

The collarbone that didn't form back together correctly and sticks out at a weird angle.

Where my father touched me.

Kicked me.

Punched me.

Abused me.

She is touching something broken.

She is touching something broken.

Not her.

He jerks back all the way to the headboard of the bed. Theo closes his eyes as that pressure builds
again. And the dots start appearing.

That was all too much.

Too much.

"Too much..."

"Okay, okay, sorry Theo. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry. Fuck, me and making everything
worse with my actions."

He watches her groan and falls back on the bed, covering her face with her hands. Shit, she blamed
herself for everything, didn't she?

"No Gingersnap. That was fantastic. I just, I don't have as much experience as you do, and you
touched me, and it ended the pretending we were doing."
She uncovers her face and looks back and forth between his eyes. "So... you like kissing me? I just
shouldn't have touched you?"

Theo nods his head as he covers his lap with a pillow. Trying to hide the evidence of how much he
truly liked what they had done.

Ginevra nods and looks as if she is contemplating something. "Okay, well… that we can work
with."

"Did you…" Theo feels his chest heating. Shit, how was he 19 fucking years old and asking a
woman if he was a good kisser or if she had enjoyed it? She hadn't. There is no way. He had no
clue what he was doing.

"Fuck yes, Teddy. Like I suspected, you are very good with your mouth. All that stick play has
taught you well."

She wiggles her eyebrows at him as she leans up on her elbows.

So I'm a good kisser? Sweet!

"Well, uhh, thanks."

"So I am not then?"

"What? Shit no! You were exceptional, Gingersnap. The best I've ever had."

She laughs and sits up all the way. "I am the only one you have ever had!"

He shrugs.

Theo didn't need to kiss anyone else to know that Ginevra was the best. He just knew. No one
compared to her.

"So? I have been collecting my whole life. Trust me; I know something exceptional when I see it or
experience it."

Her laughing stops. "Do you realize the things you say?"

"What do you mean?"

He takes off the pirate hat and throws it onto the floor. He tries to toss his hair back to how it
usually laid. But the waves keep falling back into his eye.

"Damn it." He whispers.

He hears her laugh again and move closer to him.

"I can help if you want?"

He looks up as she reaches toward the top of his head and waits. Waiting for permission.

He agrees, and he feels her fingers move the pieces back into place.
 It doesn't feel bad. It doesn't make him shake or feel panicked.

Maybe because he knew it was coming? Maybe because he had given her permission?

"Do you want to pretend again sometime, Teddy?"

He nods his head before she finishes her sentence. He was having trouble not looking at her one-
of-a-kind lips at the moment. He was already memorizing their shape and the soft pink color. A lot
lighter than his. The small freckle in the crease on the right side. He was cataloging it all. His new
obsession. If she wanted to do that again, he would be on board.

"Anytime, Gingersnap."

"Seriously, you need to watch the things you say around me. I may just take them to heart."

"I want you to."

He watches as something in her eyes changes again as they travel across his face. He doesn't know
what she sees or what she is looking for, but he doesn't look away.

"Good to know."

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Discussion of physical abuse and murder.

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram
 Hermione

“Cinquante et un, cinquante-deux, cinquante-trois, cinquante-quatre, cinquante-cinq. Tu as

cinquante-cinq ans maintenant Granger. Plus que sept autres à parcourir. Ils reviennent. Beaucoup
de choses vont revenir. Je promets l'amour…”

Hermione raises her face off his chest to look at the man holding her hand close to his face and
gently caressing the top.

She has no idea what he is saying, but she would be lying if she said it didn't make that fire in her
belly start to churn.

Gods… Just when I thought he couldn't get any sexier…

Draco turns his eyes to meet hers, and he gives her one of his soft sleepy smiles as he lifts to kiss
her forehead.

"Morning."

"Mhmm good morning. What were you saying just now?"

He moves his lips to meet hers gently and softly for a few moments before pulling away. "Just
counting."

She rolls her eyes and lifts off him to stretch her arms above her head. He is lying, and she makes
the decision right then that she will take up learning French as soon as she can.

"Uh-huh. Sure."

He smiles and rises from the floor, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "Do you like
it?"

"Like what, the sound of French words leaving your mouth? No, not one bit."

She doesn't say it convincingly because she doesn't want to. Honestly, she could listen to him
speak the language all day. He mesmerized her with the way his lips and tongue worked differently
over the sounds and verbiage of the romantic language.

"Hmmm." He hums at her before grabbing her waist and pulling her to straddle his lap, feeling his
length against her inner thigh. That swelling, consuming fire builds.

Draco places little soft kisses below her ear, and she tilts her head to give him more access.

How is it that I never tire of you? How I never stop wanting you?

"How about if French words were leaving my mouth and placed on an area that seems to love
when I talk to it?"

Hermione's cheeks and chest flush even before he finishes his sentence, and she hears him laugh
softly against her skin.

At least she wasn't the only one who seemed never to tire.

"Do you think she would like that?" His hands move from her waist up under the t-shirt she is
wearing. They are so refreshing, and make every muscle in her body relax and also fixate at the
same time.

Never stop touching me, Draco. You touching me makes me feel together.

"I… I think she is very sore after the past couple of days." She had lost count of how many times
they had sex over the last week. Ever since their confessions to one another and realizing what was
between the two had been real for a long time, it seemed neither of them could keep their hands off
each other.

"How many times have we… you know?" She says as he raises his face off her neck and meets her
eyes. She averts them, feeling that flush grow as he laughs again.

"So bashful… and which one?"

She turns towards him and gives him a puzzling look. "What do you mean?"

He sits back, leaning against his hands, looking her over as he pushes his cheek out with his
tongue. "I mean, are you asking how many times you have orgasmed? Or how many times I have?
Or how many times we have had penetrative sex, or oral, or…"

"Dear Merlin!" She places both hands over his mouth to stop the crass words from leaving.
"Orgasmed Draco. Just… orgasmed. I am sorer than I have ever been before. In a good way, of
course. And I know with your obsession with numbers, I am sure you know how many…"

He licks her hand, and she pulls back as she feels the sensation create a tingle between her legs;
exactly where she feels sore.

"You, 26 times. Me, 14 times."

Her eyes widen, and she sits back off him. Damn… 26 times in 6 days. Something had to be wrong
with her. It did, right? That… that was an unhealthy amount. Could you orgasm too much? Could it
cause health problems? And it seemed very unfair that she had done it 12 more times than he had.

But honestly, it was his own damn fault. Making it his personal mission to see how many times he
could get her off in one session. She had maxed out at four so far. Draco seemed to think he could
do better.

"Sounds like I am in the lead."

He laughs and runs his hands through his messy, yet still perfect, platinum hair. "Well this is one
game we play that I plan on always losing."

He lets out a large yawn and lays back down, propping his head with one of his arms as his eyes
scan over her.

She feels that gut reaction to cover herself. To hide all the parts she still feels deep down are not
put back together, that are broken, that are foreign, that are parts she really doesn't want but were
given to her by others.

But he had shown her repeatedly that she didn't have to hide any part of herself around him. That
not only did he welcome it, but he seemed to want it.

He had always allowed her to be her most vulnerable, most unhindered, most unleashed, and most
authentic version of herself. The version that let go of logic and held fast to instinct. The parts of
her that other people asked her to hide or told her were too much or too wrong. She thinks she
needs to let them loose more often.

"I'll go grab us something to eat. I'll be right back."

She places a quick kiss on his lips before rising and walking to the door.

Draco leans back and closes his eyes with a large smile still on his face. He was happy. No walls
up between the emotion and her, happy. It was captivating to see. Mesmerizing to watch his
beautiful face transform in a way she had never seen before.

And he is mine. All mine.

She smiles at the thought and starts walking down the hallway.

"No Gingersnap, don't… shit… damn it."

"Oh, calm your tits, Teddy. Try it, I promise; it'll taste good."

Hermione slows and peaks her head through the open doorway into the kitchen.

Theo is standing in front of the stove with a large pot of something simmering. Ginny is sitting on
top of the counter next to him, with a bowl of cream in her hands.

She dips one of her fingers in the frothy white cream and places it in her mouth, then releases it
with a heavy sigh of contentment before dipping the finger back in the cream.

Ginny holds it out between the two of them, and Hermione sees Theo look from her hand up to her
face.

"Hermione never puts that…"

"Think of it as my own special addition to your addiction. I promise you will like it. You okay with
me placing this finger of mine into your mouth?"

Hermione's heart goes into her throat.

Wait, what the hell is happening?

What the hell is happening?!

Theo looks again from her face to her finger. The same finger she placed into her mouth, and he
gulps visibly from across the room.

"O-Okay."

Ginny doesn't hesitate and pushes her finger into his mouth. Theo jerks slightly and squeezes his
eyes shut but doesn't stop her from pushing her finger farther and farther between his lips.

Hermione thinks she must still be dreaming. Maybe she started hallucinating again. Yes, that is the
only explanation for the insanity happening in front of her. That has to be it.

Her feelings only grow as she watches Theo close his mouth around her, and suck in his cheeks as
she pulls a now clean finger from between his lips.

He licks his lips and then gives Ginny a half-smile. "Okay shit, yeah, you're right. That is good.
Don't take it off the top of my cup."

Ginny laughs, grabs a spork from the drawer, and places a dollop onto her cup.

Theo takes a large sip but then grimaces and dumps it down the sink drain. "Fuck! It isn't the
same, damn it! I thought you told me you knew how she made it?"

Ginny rolls her eyes and starts kicking her legs back and forth as she gulps down her drink. "I said I
think I do. She gave my mum the recipe years ago, but even she couldn't make it taste the exact
same. Yeah, this isn't as good as what she makes, but stop being so dramatic, Teddy. It isn't that
bad. She has always said no one could replicate it due to her own special touches."

Theo grunts and looks down at the pot in front of him like it is enemy number one. "I don't believe
a word of that shit. The first time she made it, she didn't have her magic back, so it logically has to
be just an assortment of ingredients and exact measurements… You want to do me a favor and find
out what it is? The evil witch will never tell me."

Ginny laughs at his frustration and dips her finger back into the bowl, covering it, before dabbing
it onto Theo's nose. He grimaces and moves his head too late.

"Only if we can pretend again sometime soon, Captain Hughes." She dips her finger quickly back
in the bowl, but Theo dodges another cream assault, grabbing her wrist before it reaches his face,
and then quickly smears the contents sticking off his nose onto her exposed arm.

Ginny squeals and tries to pull her arm back, but Theo keeps hold of it as he cleans his face on her
skin.

On Ginny's skin.

Holy bloody hell… on Ginny's skin.

And he is smiling.
A big, no half about it smile.

"Okay, Gingersnap."

Theo and Ginny's eyes meet. And Hermione sees Ginny look down at his lips and watches Theo do
the same.

Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods…

I… shit. I shouldn't be watching this.

She was invading their privacy. The two of them had to endure her and Draco over the past week,
so she should at least extend the courtesy. Hermione turns and runs back into their room, shutting
the door as quietly as she can behind her, trying to get control over her breathing.

Theo and Ginny…

Theo and Ginny!!

"Granger, what's wrong?" Draco begins to stand with a look of concern all over his face. She is
sure she is beat red, breathing heavy, and probably convincing him she was about to lose it or have
a seizure.

And honestly, she feels like she might. Because what she just witnessed… what she had just seen
happening…

"Theo and Ginny… Theo and Ginny…"

His cool hands are rubbing her upper arms and looking at the door behind her.

"Theo and Ginny what Granger? What is happening?"

She tries to control her breathing, but the image of Ginny sticking her finger into Theo's mouth and
him sucking it off… oh bloody hell…

She closes her eyes as a large smile forms on her face, and a giggle escapes between her lips,

Theo and Ginny!!!

"They, they are getting… I just saw them getting… cozy in the kitchen."

The concern on Draco's face melts into more of a perplexed look until it turns into incredibility.

"Cozy?"
She nods her head frantically as the happy little noises keep leaving her mouth.

"She put her finger into his mouth, and, and he let her Draco. He let her touch him!"

Her happiness cannot be contained. Ginny had made her interest very apparent over the last couple
of weeks. While it amused Hermione, she really didn't think anything would ever happen between
the abrasive, over the top, and extremely crass woman, and the very reserved, innocent Theo.

Draco smirks and shakes his head.

"Of fucking course. It had to be a bloody Weasley… Merlin, I am going to be stuck with that one in
my life, aren't I?"

He makes a show of annoyance as he boxes his arms around her into the wall.

"Oh hush, Draco. You know you like her."

He scoffs. "No. I do not. I put up with her. There is a difference."

Hermione rolls her eyes at him, and he smiles.

"Well, if Theo likes her, and this continues, you have to be nice to her. You will not ruin this for
them with your hostility."

"Granger, I am willing to put up with Red for the rest of my sorry life if it means Theo gets
shagged regularly. The bloke deserves it. Has horrible taste in women apparently, but we all have
our issues."

She hits him on the shoulder. And he laughs as he moves away from her and towards the closet.

Rather than having sex, he was extremely busy being both a Death Eater, and also a member of
The Order. He has double the work, double the responsibility, double the hard and dangerous
situations to navigate. And as the presentation at Hogwarts loomed closer and closer, she could see
it weighing on him.

Her urge to help, to participate, to be a central part of this large moment was also starting to
overwhelm her.

She tried to add assistance by creating spreadsheets of possible timelines, maps of meeting points,
and ways of communicating for the four of them to use while in Hogwarts.

She taught them all basic Morse Code to help with possible communication between Theo and
Draco and Ron and Ginny. Hermione also created four protean charmed galleons just like she had
done back in Hogwarts for the DA. Each of them would carry the coin on them and make the
others heat up if they ran into any substantial and time-sensitive problems. They would also be
able to place their coordinates within the numbers on the galleons to share their location.

But it all didn't feel like enough. She wasn't used to this. Letting someone else hold the reins during
big moments. Yes, Harry had been the Chosen One, was the face of their cause, and was the most
necessary member of their trio, but most people knew she was the brains of the operation. She was
the reason the three of them had stayed alive for as long as they did.

And while she wholeheartedly believes in Draco, and his ability to maneuver complex situations
and to think quickly, she wanted to be beside him doing it. She wanted to be working with him. Not
staying behind. Both of them were better as a team.
"I'll be in the library finishing the paperwork I should have finished yesterday." Draco walks back
out in a shirt and trousers before walking in front of her.

"Do you want some help?"

He smirks and bends down to kiss her lightly. "No, Granger. I will not have the Golden Girl filling
out Death Eater paperwork and correspondence. But if you want to look over and handle contacting
the Disorder about the leads being investigated, be my guest."

She can't help herself as her posture straightens. She liked feeling useful. She liked the confidence
boost it gave her. Making her feel stronger, and able, and everything she was striving to be before
everything happened to her. Before the huge setback that was the last year of her life. And even
though she is well aware that she still needs the potions every morning, and that she still can't take
the towels off of the mirrors, and how she still hasn't slept in a bed; somehow, someway, it all felt a
little less daunting. It felt doable. No, not just doable, but livable. Actually livable.

That the good was starting to catch back up with all the bad. And how she was starting to believe
that she was not only able to continue on with every breath, not hurting, not being a struggle, not
being a battle. But she could breathe, and smile, and laugh, and think. Think and create and save.
That hadn't been taken from her.

She could still be that. She could still think in a way that was worthy of the title of the Brightest
Witch of Their Age.

Draco's smirk grows as he takes her hand and opens the door.

"I think you would get off to me quizzing you while fucking."

"Probably."

They both laugh as they walk down the hall together towards the library. Hermione can't help but
peek a quick glance into the kitchen, where she sees only Theo preparing something on the stove.

They make their way down to the library to find Ginny placing her mother's charm on items in the
library.

The redhead looks up and gives them a quick wave before turning back to her work.

Hermione pulls on Draco's sleeve to make him lower his head to her so she can whisper into his
ear.

"Don't say a word to either of them about what happened this morning. Deal?"

The handsome blonde rolls his eyes before nodding bluntly and letting go of her hand to sit at one
of the tables over in the corner.

"Morning, Ferret! Hermione! Thanks for remembering to put the silencing charm up last night.
Was finally able to get some sleep without your incessant noises waking me up."

"You know what they say, 26th times the charm."

Hermione sits in the chair and whacks him in the shoulder again.

He laughs and places a stack of forms before her.

The Carrow bitch had apparently been amicable to Draco's desire to receive all pending
information on leads and owled him every single one of them since they began working with The
Order. So far, he had stopped one possible run-in, which could have resulted in multiple deaths.

She was so proud of the man sitting next to her. The man she calls hers.

They all start working in silence for a while before Theo walks in, breaking the quiet.

“Draco, Blaise is in the floo. Says he needs both of us."

They all look up, and Draco rises quickly. "What for?"

Theo shrugs and drops the plate of waffles onto the table before making his way back to the door.
"Just said it had to do with Flint."

Draco groans and follows him. "Probably about Daph. Apparently, he has been causing her issues."

"What a piece of shit. Gingersnap, there are two with chocolate chips on the bottom."

They exit the room as Ginny walks over to the table and sits across from Hermione.

The redhead hands her a plate and spork before placing a waffle onto it and then digging below the
tower of breakfast food for the two specific ones Theo had mentioned.

"Chocolate chips?" Hermione asks as she tears off a corner of her breakfast.

Ginny does the same and leans back in her chair. "Yeah. I like mine with chocolate chips."

Hermione can't help but grin. "That was sweet of him to do."

Ginny meets her eyes. Hermione tries to school her features, knowing she is horrible at hiding her
feelings from her face. "Teddy is a sweetheart. I think we all know that."

"Yes, but he didn't ask me how I like my waffles."

Ginny grunts and places another large piece of the breakfast food into her mouth. "No, you were
too busy getting shagged. I think I would much prefer your situation over mine."

Hermione chokes on her bite as Ginny starts to laugh.

"So… You have a situation with Theo?"

Hermione tries to phrase it carefully. Did she want to know the details? Absolutely she did. Was
she needing to know every small moment that she had been missing out on while being consumed
figuratively and literally by Draco? Hell yes.

"Oh, come on, Hermione, you know I think he's fit."

"Yeah, but thinking someone is attractive versus doing something about it are two different
things."

Ginny lets out another humorless laugh and takes another bite of her breakfast. "Don't worry
Hermione; you are the only female getting fucked in this house. To my dismay. But I'm working on
it."

Hermione chokes again. "What does that mean?"

She doesn't know how she feels about what Ginny just said. That protective, slightly angry emotion
she felt when Ron questioned her mind's validity begins to surface. Theo didn't need to be
pressured. He shouldn't be pushed into doing anything he wasn't comfortable with, but Hermione
knew the man would cave eventually under the stress of force and attention. He always did. And
she was not on board if that is what Ginny was doing. Whether on purpose or not.

"It means I realize he has been through some serious stuff but also hates the restrictions they have
made for him in some areas. So I am trying to be patient with him while also encouraging him to
venture a bit." She takes another bite of her waffle. "He seems to be enjoying it. And before you
get all angry Granger on me, I ask every single time before I do anything to him."

"But Gin, he will give in to things he does not really want to do just to get rid of the conflict around
him. You saw that when he agreed to take veritaserum. If he feels like you are pressuring him…"

Ginny makes a frustrated noise, cutting off Hermione's words.

"Bloody hell. I am not pressuring him into anything, Hermione. He is a grown man and can make
his own damn decisions. He doesn't need you protecting him from the crude, loud, and horrible at
making decisions ginger, okay? I know it seems like anyone I get close to I end up hurting or
watching die, but…"

"Ginny, this isn't about any of that! That is not what I meant! I don't hold you responsible. I don't
know how many more times I can say it before you believe it, but I don't. I only brought it up
because I love him, but he doesn't open up much. And I just wanted to make sure he had managed
to open up a bit with you. To ensure you understood what you were getting involved in. Because
listen, this can't be something… flippant or distracting for you. Not with him. It has to be more
than that, and if it isn't, you need to stop it now. He has been through enough."

Ginny stares at her for a long while before finally looking away down at her hands. Maybe that
was a bit too cruel. Maybe she should have phrased that better.

"I… I'm still in love with Harry."

Hermione's breath gets stuck in her throat, and her heart starts to ache for her friend in front of her.
They sit there again in silence for a while. She has no idea what to say to her. She can't even begin
to unravel everything wrapped up in the truth Ginny just shared.

"I am. I am Hermione. I keep waiting for… it to go away or to grow smaller, but it doesn't it… it
hasn't. It is still there. Hurting all the fucking time. But… I like Teddy. I like him in a way… In a
way that, yes, does distract me from the pain always there. But also in a way. In a way…"

Ginny stops talking as she closes her eyes and starts rubbing at the skin on her chest.

"Fuck, I don't know how to explain it. And I don't really know what that means. I have never been
in love with someone dead before while also being drawn to someone else at the same… damn it, I
don't even know what I am trying to fucking say." Ginny leans back in her chair, continuing to rub
at her chest back and forth, making her skin welt with the pressure. "It is… it is very confusing.
And shit, yeah, maybe wrong or maybe it isn't, I honestly don't know. But Hermione, I promise
you, hurting Teddy is the last thing I want or plan on doing."

Hermione feels the tear on her cheek before realizing she has started crying. She can't relate to the
struggle she can see Ginny is dealing with, but she is watching how… how destructive it was. How
hard it must be for living love to turn into dying grief.
"Okay, Gin. I am sorry. I am so sorry for not being able to understand what you are going
through."

The woman scoffs and sits back up, rubbing her hand over her face instead of her chest, which is a
very bright and painful-looking red.

"I'm not. I hope none of you ever have to feel what I feel. I hope you and the ferret get your happy
ending and die together peacefully of old age."

Hermione can't help the blush she feels taking over her cheeks.

PECK PECK PECK PECK

Both women look towards the balcony doors to see a barn owl tapping against the glass.

Hermione gets up and opens the door. The owl flies into the room and lands on the table, grabbing
one of Ginny's waffles before shooting up after dropping the letter.

"Damn it! My waffle! You stupid bird!" Ginny throws one of the non-chocolate chip waffles up at
the animal, missing by just a hair. The owl takes the thrown breakfast food into its other talon
before flying back out the door.

Hermione walks to the table and turns over the letter, expecting to see the usual seal that means it
is a lead assignment.

But it isn't.

Instead of the wax seal with You Know Who's skull stamped into it, she sees a man's name.

Her man's name.

Written in very feminine handwriting.

And her entire body starts to shake immediately.

Who the fuck is writing to my wizard?

She almost tears the letter open.

Almost.

Her hands are on the pretty feminine seal before she stops but continues to stare at his five letters in
swirly ink.

She shouldn't open it.

She shouldn't.

That would be wrong.

That would be an invasion of privacy.

But she could confront him and make him open it in front of her, right?

That was a reasonable response, correct?

Damn it; I don't care.

She storms out of the library, holding the parchment with his name scrawled across it in the most
ridiculous way she has ever seen, and enters their room.

The three Slytherin men all look tense and whisper something to each other as she walks in. The
anger is simmering too hot in her ears to take in anything they say before Malfoy looks up and all
talking stops.

"Granger, what's wrong, what…"

"Theo, leave now." She throws the letter into Malfoy's lap and stands above him with her hands in
fists at her sides as she breathes loudly through her nose.

"Good luck mate…"

She hears the door shut behind them and watches Blaise's humor-filled face cut off the floo
connection as Malfoy looks down at the parchment in his lap.

His face becomes cold. Making her own body freeze in fear and also in acknowledgment at the
reaction. She watches, knowing he is building walls around something as she releases her own.

"Stop! Don't you fucking dare occlude away right now, Malfoy! What the hell is this? Why is
some witch sending you letters?"

"So we are back to Malfoy now?"

He stands up, moving the hand with the damn letter behind his back like he thinks he will be able
to just put it in his back pocket and talk her out of needing to see the inner contents.

Okay Malfoy, you want to play. Fine!

"When you are keeping secrets from me, yes!"

He scoffs at her and shakes his head, but it cuts off short as she lunges for his hand, trying to
discard the evidence of her validated anger.

"Well then, you will be calling me Malfoy for a very long time."

She growls at him as he raises his arm straight up, much too far out of her reach. Even if she
jumped, which she tries.
He is keeping a secret from her. A secret involving some other woman.

She growls again.

"And you are proud of that, you prick?! Open that damn letter now! You, you gargantuan-
cockroach-vile-git of man!"

She smashes her hands against his chest and pushes him back into the table. His eyes look down at
her, and there is no silver in them. No, that is behind walls too.

You are scared of me for a reason! And you should be!

"No response?! Too deep to even play back? Won't even give me the respect of opening it and
explaining like I have given you the chance to?! Fine!"

She pulls out her wand and has the little piece of parchment flying towards her before he can even
blink.

As soon as the paper is in her fingers, she rips open the seal to see the woman's name.

Daphne…

Oh, I am breaking that nose this time, Malfoy.

"Her?! Her?!"

Hermione charges at him, but he grabs her wrists and traps them between their chests as he pulls
her into him. She steps on his toes while also slamming her head into his chest. Trying to cause
damage any way she can with any part of her she can.

"Bloody hell Granger, relax. My dick has been inside you every free moment I have had. You
know I am not fucking her."

"Then why is she owling you, Malfoy, and why are you trying to hide it from me!?"

He doesn't respond. She looks up to see him looking over her. A stone wall. A shell. Something is
wrong. Something is very, very wrong.

She jerks out of his grip and steps backward away from him until she sees the letter on the floor
and drops to pick it up again.

Draco,

I am willing to assist. Amycus dropped off the portkey with Blaise earlier today. I will meet
you an hour early as discussed, for you to explain further. Please make sure your sample is
from her. Bring more than one, just in case.
Daphne

Hermione is able to read the letter three times before Malfoy rips it out of her hand. She stares at
the space where the words were in front of her. Making sense of them. Reading everything that was
almost said, but not directly. She was assisting him with something. Something he didn't want her
knowing about. And it had to do with Amycus, and a portkey, and Daphne taking a potion, and
needing a sample from…

No.

No, no…

"Why are you asking Daphne to take Polyjuice Potion to look like me?"

She looks up at the man who has his back to her. He once again says nothing. But him saying
nothing, occluding so deep as soon as he saw that letter in her hands, him not being willing to play
their game was everything without anything.

She knows.

She knows she is right.

"You liar!"

She runs at his back and pushes him forward with all of her might, all of her anger boiling,
steaming, and radiating through her body. He had lied to her. Lied to her face. Was going to make
her stay back here like a helpless bitch, instead of including her. Instead of letting her be a part of
this like he knew she wanted to.

She pushes him again. He doesn't move.

"You… You were going to take that choice away from me?! Make it yourself? Who the fuck do
you think you are, Malfoy!"

Her hands go to shove him again, but he turns around, and her fists meet his chest.

"Yes! Fuck yes, I was going to take that choice away from you! I will always take choices that
could kill you, hurt you, end you away from you. Because you never fucking do Granger, and
someone has to care to stop you from giving every piece of yourself to this bloody war!"

His eyes are no longer stone. They are silver. Full of life and fight, and that fiery anger of hers
meets him.

"No! No Malfoy! You do not get to do that to me! You do not get to take my choice away in any
matter; you hear me! How could you do that? How could you take my free will from me after
everything that has been…"

"You think I want to have to do these things?! You think I want to keep making impossible choices
after impossible choices? Where all the options suck, and take, and break? But I have to Granger! I
have to, to keep you alive. To keep you out of harm's way. Because we all know you won't!"
She steps away from him, shaking her head furiously back and forth. No, what he had done was
wrong. So fucking wrong. Amycus must have added something about bringing her along. That is
the only thing that makes sense, and she could see him doing that, wanting that. He always liked to
watch, to look. He had to have made her coming part of the agreement. And Malfoy had decided
for her, like she was a child, that she was not going. That was wrong. Having someone pretend to
be her was an unnecessary risk to add to a plan that already had enough.

"You do not get to decide what I do with my mind or my body Malfoy! You do not get to tell me
what I am and am not allowed to give!"

"Then what am I allowed to do, Granger?!" He is right in front of her again. She feels the words
against her skin as he spits them down at her. "What am I allocated in my care for you? My
affection for you? My need for you? Am I not allowed to keep you safe? Am I wrong for keeping
you away from the men who fucking raped you?! Am I wrong for stopping you from having to…
to play a role you were forced to play for too long again?!"

She shakes her head vehemently. "You are wrong for lying to me! For not including me! For not
letting me be a part of the decision. If I need to be there, then I should be there! Not fucking
Daphne! What did Amycus say? What did he want that you have to do?"

She waits, watching him breathe in and out shallowly. He was backed into a corner. He hated that.
The worst version of him always surfaced when he was cornered.

"Does he want me to come, to… use me again? Or to…"

"Fuck no!" His freezing hands are on her arms, squeezing hard. "No one is ever touching you
again, Granger. Do you hear me? This world will burn before they lay their hands on you again."

"Then what, Malfoy? Why does Daphne need to play me?"

She stares right back at him. Not looking away. Not cowering at his rage and closeness. He didn't
scare her. He probably would scare anybody else, but not her. His eyes travel between hers.
Flipping back and forth as he tries to find a solution to this problem in front of him.

"Just tell me."

He growls down and shakes his head. "Fuck! Fuck! You know, sometimes I wish I would have
gone for the airhead women shoved at me my whole life instead of you, you infuriating, brilliant,
yet stupidly fearless woman!"

He grabs her face and kisses her hard. She shouldn't kiss him back. Right? This whole situation
was one turn from beyond fucked up and wrong.

Screw being right.

Her hands dig into his scalp and press his mouth against her until their teeth clash and their noses
smash together. It doesn't feel good.

Malfoy pulls away and pants heavily as his hands continue to squeeze. "He wants me to show off
my whore in front of all the new recruits. He wants me to parade you around like my own personal
fuck toy. Just a set of holes to enjoy at my leisure. That is what he fucking wants, Granger. And
that is why you are not going."

He moves to kiss her again, but her mouth freezes against his. Though, he keeps pressing and
pushing. Like he could drive the point home with his mouth.

"So you were planning to what? Have Daphne look like me in front of all of them, and… and do
things to her? And somehow, you thought I wouldn't find out about this? And that maybe it isn't
exactly cheating since she looks like me!"

She shoves him off of her. At the thought of him putting that mouth that was just bruising hers on
Daphne. Of his cold refreshing hands working against her pale skin, and pulling her blonde,
straight hair off her neck. Of his body pressing into hers.

No.

No one else is touching you.

He rolls his eyes. "I am not going to fuck her for Merlin's sake. I don't even plan on touching her
beyond the necessary."

She scoffs. "Well there is one thing you finally have right, Malfoy. You will not be fucking her.
You will not be kissing her. You will not even be touching her because she is not going. I am."

"Not happening, Granger."

She moves to stand directly in front of him again, raising her chest and chin as he straightens his
shoulders and sneers.

"Try and stop me, Malfoy."

His hands grab her hips and force her into his body. She now has to crane her neck back to meet his
eyes. "There will be no trying. I will."

She blinks and feels her eyes becoming blurry in her rage.

Damn it!

Don't you dare, Hermione! Don't you dare start crying right now!

He isn't winning this.

Don't make him think he is winning this!

"Why?! Why are you doing this? Was everything you said to me a lie as well?"

His eyes brows crease at her words.

"I thought you believed I was hope. I thought you said I was strong. That I was the strongest
person you know? But if that was true, you wouldn't be trying to stop me. You wouldn't be adding
this unnecessary risk. You wouldn't have lied to me. I need this! I need to be there. I need to feel
strong again."

He groans loudly up at the ceiling as he presses his palms into his eyes and steps back from her.

"I am the one not strong, Granger! I am the one not strong enough! This isn't just about you!"

Her breath gets caught in her throat. He was saying he wasn't the strong one. That he was the one
who couldn't do it, be the person he would have to be to her. Understanding washes over her as his
hands fall from his face, and he looks directly at her. The silver is still there. He isn't hiding
anything.

"I will have to play a part with you that nothing in me wants to play. I will have to be… be one of
them. And Granger, I can and will do a lot of things to many people, but I cannot do… do that to
you. I am the one not strong enough."

Something in her cracks. She feels her anger draining out of her, turning more into that chill ache of
sorrow. She watches him step back until he meets a wall and leans against it, still breathing shallow
breaths.

"I am willing to be like them to save you, but I am not willing to be like them to… to appease your
bleeding heart and blind selflessness and hurt you in the process. I can't. I won't. This isn't about
whether you are strong enough, Granger. It is whether I am."

He squeezes his eyes shut as his hands ball into fists at his sides. The idea of playing the role with
her hurt him because she knew he compared himself to them already. Getting lost in the similarities
that even she had to have time to process through days ago. But the biggest difference was he gave
her a choice in the matter. He always gave her a choice, that is, until now.

That is what made what was between them real. That is what always made it real, and different,
and something so far from being compared to what those monsters had done to her.

She moves to stand in front of him and reaches out with her hand to caress the side of his face.

Hermione rises onto her tiptoes and pulls his mouth down to her. He starts ravishing her
immediately. He kisses her like the only way to get air is through her. He fists her hair before
yanking back to deepen their connection as he runs his tongue over her teeth and into her mouth.
She lets him. She lets him get what he needs from her for a while before pulling back, watching his
chest raise up and down.

"You are not one of them, Draco. You are not one of them. But what you did was wrong. Secrets
and lies will not help either of us." She meets his eyes that seem to be looking into her. Begging her
not to say what he knows she is about to say. Because he knew as soon as that letter landed on his
lap that he had already lost. "And I will not allow you to make decisions and choices for me. I
won't. So it stops now, do you understand? I know you have been alone in this for a very long time
and that it must be difficult to get used to the idea, but like you said earlier. This isn't just about
you. We are in this together. A team, remember?"

His head falls in between them, and she moves forward to rest a kiss on his forehead.

"A team?" He whispers the words, and she grabs both sides of his face to raise it to hers.

"Yes, a team. We have always been a good team. We have always worked well together, right?"
It takes him a moment, but she watches him nod his head in agreement.

"Then let's be a team in this."

Another long pause.

"A powerful team."

She smirks at him. "A deadly team."

The corner of his mouth raises slightly before falling again and letting out a large huff of air. He
was losing. He had already lost, and the tall blonde knew it.

"But what if our goals don't match, Granger? How can we be a team then? Because my one and
only goal is your survival. And yours is to save the bloody world."

"Through compromise Draco."

He scoffs and runs his hand through his hair. "Compromise... I am unwilling to compromise
anything when it comes to you."

She tries to stop the smile from forming on her face. She was mad at him. She should still be mad
at him. But damn her, she feels that anger subsiding. Not the fight, though. The fight was still
there. Alive, burning, and ready to keep going if he wanted to play.

"You have me, Draco. All of me."

She wraps her arms around him and pulls him close, resting her head against his chest as she
breathes in the mint.

"But we are doing this together. You know we are better together. And I also know that you realize
I am going. I am doing this. I am more than capable of playing this part, and so are you."

She begins tapping onto his chest.

.—. . .— .—..

REAL

What was between them was real. That is why they could do this. That is why she knew it wouldn't
set her off to have him touch her, or kiss her, or play a part so similar to the monsters. She wasn't
unwavering with too many things nowadays, but her assurance in the realness of what it was
between them was concrete. It was a fact.
"You promise me you will compromise with me, though? You will… allow me to place my goals
before yours in this fucking mission?"

She rolls her eyes and looks up at him. She had never gone through this with Harry or Ron. Yes,
Ron was not a huge fan of some of the things she had to do over the years, but he never put up a
fight with her. The three of them knew she was the only one in their group who could do some of
the things that they were forced to do. This was different now.

"I am willing to discuss it and come to a place where we are both as comfortable as we can be, yes.
I'm sorry for my anger getting the better of me."
"Thank you."

"And you?"

Draco snickers.

"I'm sorry, Granger. I'm sorry for making you feel like I do not believe you are strong enough." He
moves his face towards hers, and she raises her chin, expecting his lips to meet hers. Seconds pass
by before she feels his breath hit against her lips, but instead of moving the small space needed, he
starts to speak again. "But I will not apologize for doing what I deem necessary to keep you as far
away from this war as possible. And if that includes omitting information from you, so be it. I am
not sorry that I will fight you every step of the way because someone has to Granger. If you are
going to make it out of this, someone has to hold you back from giving so much that there is
nothing left of you after all this is over."

His forehead comes down to meet hers again.

"You are mine remember? And I need you to still be here. Out here, and in here." He rests his
hands on her chest. "And if I see you trying to place your life behind others when we all know
yours is worth more than the lot of ours, I will make sure to anyone and everyone else's demise
that you continue on. Do you understand?"

He grabs her chin and raises her eyes to meet his. She can see him watching the flecks he calls gold
as she watches his spark with silver.

"Granger, do you understand? Do we have a deal?"

He is dangerous.

The words and promises he has just made are dangerous because she knows he means them.

They are words against the Death Eaters, against The Order, making him a traitor to all and
everything except her.

She holds the power to unleash him.

It feels dangerous. It feels addictive. It feels…

"Deal."
 Draco
Chapter Notes

Brace yourselves.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

He places the protean charmed galleon into the pocket his S.P.E.W pin is latched onto, along with
the vial, remembering at the last minute to grab his mask as well. He hates the damn thing. No
matter how many charms he would place on it, the mask was always stuffy and chafed against his
temples and chin. They hardly ever wore them anymore, thankfully. Since winning at the Battle of
Hogwarts, their identities no longer needed to be hidden very often. They were now more for
show, more for fear, more to leave an impression.

"So. what do you think is going on with the whole Flint situation?"

Draco looks up at his brother pulling on his robes and grabbing his own mask as he asks the
question.

He was talking about what Blaise shared with them the other night. As Flint's scouting unit had the
best track record, Blaise heard that Dolohov was recruiting them for his own private needs.
Apparently, Flint had been bragging about the meeting that was to take place soon that would
explain their mission. Draco honestly didn't have the slightest clue why the monster needed a
scouting unit at his service.

Draco shrugs. "No idea. I am sure Carrow Cock will show up at some point today. I will try to see
if he knows anything."

Theo shakes his head in agreement. "Ronald will be here any minute. I am going to go down and
meet him at the gate and bring him in. You ready?"

"Fuck no."

This was a literal nightmare. Every bloody aspect of it.

He had spent over two hours occluding and had taken three potions to try to control himself, yet he
still didn't feel ready to play the part he once again had to play.

He had been playing parts he didn't want to play for so long he sometimes struggles to remember
what he really believes and what he doesn't.

Who he really was.

Who he wants to be.

"Here Teddy."

Red comes walking in, fitted in Ravenclaw robes. Just in case something went wrong, she could
impersonate a student and have a few extra moments to try and get to safety or contact them
through the galleons. The fucker would be wearing matching ones.
She hands Theo the Dead One's invisibility cloak, and he throws it on before opening the door.

She turns to him and places her hands on her hips.

"She is almost ready. I already charmed her hair."

The pit in his stomach tightens as he nods his head and walks down the hallway to their room.

I hate this.

I hate every fucking thing about this I…

He opens the door, and all of his thoughts disappear.

Draco stands there, hand on the knob, frozen, just looking at her.

Well… maybe not everything…

Granger turns towards him, and his eyes travel all over her.

She is wearing a very tight fitted floor-length dress that hugs every delectable curve he has sunk his
teeth into.

Her tanned olive skin keeps peeking through the long slit that exposes her entire left leg, all the
way up, so close to showing parts of her that are only his. A teasing motion of fabric that makes his
heart leap with every step and almost glimpse that never comes.

The material is light and wispy, reminding him of her periwinkle dress from the Yule Ball back in
4th year. The front drops so low that he honestly has no idea how her belly button isn't showing
under her gorgeous full breasts that are on display in the large v running up over her shoulders by
barely-there straps.

She turns, giving him a view of the back that dips just as low as the front. Two silver chains hold
an extra piece of the same light material onto the straps at her shoulders, letting it fall down low
and trail behind her.

Everything is black. Dark. Muted. Just like their Death Eater robes.

But somehow, she still seems to glow, to burn, to shimmer.

No matter what you wear or what others try to make you, you are always golden, Granger.

She turns back around, and he looks up to her face but flinches back.

Her hair.
Her iconic Granger mane of sweet milk chocolate curls that he hopes will be what ends him are
gone.

Instead, it is pin-straight, and a much lighter shade than her normal hair.

He hates it.

I hate it.

I hate it so fucking much.

Give me back the wild, untamed you, Granger.

He waves his wand and breaks the charms the Weaselette had placed on her hair to see her springs
bounce back and take up all the space around her beautiful face.

"Draco, no I…"

"Give me back my curls for a minute."

He reaches out and runs his hands on both sides of her face up into the bushy mane, feeling their
soft yet coarse texture.

Now she looks like her. She looks like the girl who left him with no insult to throw her way in 4th
year, even though he knew he probably should have to keep up appearances.

She is the very image he had imagined multiple times throughout the years when he would picture
what it would be like to take her to the many pointless galas he was always attending. If only she
was pureblood. If only he was allowed.

"You look beautiful."

He takes her hand into his as he bends and kisses her lightly on her stained red lips. Her make-up is
the heaviest he has ever seen her wear. Matching the harsh and sharp color of the gown. Her eyes
are smeared with greys and onyx that make the gold specks in her eyes stand out even more than
normal.

"Thank you. I am surprised Pansy didn't make it emerald green with a large snake curled around
my shoulder."

He smiles and trails his hand down one of the curls, pulling it lightly until the end to watch it
spring back into place.

"I imagined you like this many times. Usually with a bit more fabric in certain areas. But I always
knew you would look… priceless."

"Why would you imagine me all dressed up?"

He places the barely-there strap between his two fingers, letting them travel up and down over her
shoulder blade.

"Galas and balls were a usual occurrence in my life. All became the same after a while. The same
families, the same conversations, the same atmosphere. It was a bore, to say the least." His fingers
let go of the strap to travel up to the dark ring around her neck, fingers gently moving over the
carved runes within. "I would often let my mind wander to more enticing scenarios. You being on
my arm was one of them."

Her hand comes up into his view as she moves a few strands of his hair back into place and smiles
at him.

"Would you have danced with me?"

"Absolutely."

She starts to move her hand back down, but he grabs it at the same time he wraps his hand around
her waist, and brings her up against his body. He holds out their hands to the side as she places her
other one on top of his shoulder. A large smile plays across her face.

"I may have lied to you."

He looks up, not understanding what she is saying. "Lied to me about what?"

"About Viktor stepping on my toes 23 times. It may have been the other way around."

They both let out a laugh at her confession, and Draco squeezes the hand still interlocked with his.
He moves his face next to hers and breathes in the familiar scent of lavender and vanilla before
turning his mouth to her ear. "Submit this beautiful body to me Granger, like you love to do, and I
will take care of the rest."

Her cheeks become red, and she averts her gaze for a moment before pursing her lips and looking
straight back at him and nodding.

He smirks. "Good girl."

He moves forward slowly, much slower than an actual waltz would have them moving, but he had
watched her dance at the ball. He knew months ago she had been lying. She was a horrible dancer.
Much worse than Krum, who actually moved quite gracefully even with the stiff-as-a-board,
glorious woman in his arms.

She follows his lead and steps back and continues to follow his movements.

She is still not good.

He catches himself chuckling as her eyes focus down at their feet intensely, letting out small huffs
of annoyance when she stumbles, or his foot runs into hers due to her being in the wrong place.

Just how I always imagined.

He takes his hand off her waist and pinches her chin to make her raise those big eyes back to him.

"Submit Granger. Just let go."

Draco moves forward and grazes his lips against hers. He feels her shoulders relax with the held-in
breath she finally releases. The muscles underneath his hand become softer, and he pulls her closer
as he steps again. This time, she just follows the way he pulls and pushes her body, kissing her
gently through it all, and for a moment, he feels light.

He feels and experiences a glimpse of what they possibly could have been, could have had.

"I wish we were given a chance to be this." He whispers the words into her mouth, and she agrees
immediately.

"Do… do you think you would have ever grown the courage to walk away from it all without
everything, though?"

He pulls his face away from her and stops dancing.

Yes. Yes he would have. He does not doubt that. He had been pulling away ever since he began
attending Hogwarts and was given time apart from those beliefs.

Would it have taken longer? Possibly.

Would he have created truly irreparable damage between the two of them in the process? More
than likely.

But he would have walked away. He would have. He probably would have never gained the
courage to ask her forgiveness, like his looming death during 6th year convinced him he was
willing to do.

She probably would have ended up with the Weasel to his eternal dismay. Maybe they would have
found their way to each other later in life. After she undoubtedly divorced the fucker when she
realized how much she hated being caged by people. He would have been fine with that. He would
have waited. He would still choose that over this current life they were living because that one did
not include her being abused horribly.

He sighs as he meets her eyes and tucks a curl behind her ear. "Yes Granger, walking away was
inevitable."

"My brother is here, so we… Really ferret?! Do you know how long that charm took me?"

Red pulls him away from her and starts waving her wand to tame Granger's hair again.

"Don't say or do anything Draco, please."

He grunts. "No promises, Granger."

He hears multiple pairs of footsteps behind him, but instead of turning around, he keeps his eyes on
his witch in front of him as he pulls out his wand and whispers the spell she had agreed to earlier.

He isn't supposed to place it until they are about to leave, but he decides to make a point since she
doesn't want him to say anything.

She rolls her eyes before turning them to the fucker, undoubtedly behind him. Her mouth forms a
thin line as she stares.

"Hey 'Mione. You… you look good."

She doesn't say anything back, but Draco's body goes rigid at the sound of the tosser's voice.
I should have killed him.

I want to kill him, not work with him.

"I know it'll take more than this, but I am really sorry, Hermione. Truly. Some of the things I said
were wrong and fucked up and…"

"Some?"

He hears footsteps behind him and sees the man in his peripheral right before he hits off the shield
Draco had placed around Granger.

"What the…"

Draco moves to stand directly behind her as Red continues to work on her hair and finally looks at
the man who had tried to destroy his woman.

"It is a shielding charm, Ron. To make sure no one other than Draco can touch me tonight."

It had been a part of their… compromise, as she liked to call it. If she was coming, he would make
sure not one of the fuckers could place a hand, a finger, a breath on her.

They had created multiple plans and parts for them to play, depending on the situation. Just like
they had and would have to do again soon for the spectacles. He knows she feels prepared.
Meanwhile, he still feels like grabbing her, saying fuck it to everything and everyone, and hiding
her in the muggle world as far away from this war as possible. He probably would have already
done it if he thought she wouldn't maim him or leave the minute she could.

The Weasel's jaw clenches as he forms his hands into fists. His eyes are dark and red, and his skin
looks wet, even from a distance. He looks like shit, and Draco can't help but smile.

"Convenient." He grits out. 'Listen 'Mione, I really am sorry. So incredibly sorry. I know you are
bloody brilliant, and the reason I am still alive today. I care about you so much. But I am still
making sense of you being back and alive, and… and I don't want to lose you. I need you in my
life. And I am sobering up finally. And I would really like to apologize and talk to you about
everything, when… when you are ready, that is."

Fuck off wanker. She doesn't need you in her life. She is better off without you.

"I'm not ready yet. Ron. You really, really hurt me. And you are very wrong about many things
that you do not seem to care to correct. Until you watch the memories, I will not be speaking to you
more so than what is necessary."

The ginger's eyes flip between hers before nodding. Draco doesn't believe a word of what he is
saying. He doesn't trust him. Not one part of him. The only thing authentic about the man in front
of him was the fact that he undoubtedly wanted what was his. And that the man wanted him gone.

"Fair enough, but I…"

A jynx hits him from Draco's left, and Weasley falls to the ground as the jelly leg jynx works its
way over his legs.

"And that is for stealing my cloak, you bastard!"

Red moves in front of her brother as she points her wand down at him threateningly.

"Okay, okay, okay. Sorry Gin, fuck! I won't do it again. Take this jynx off of me, damn it!"

She steps over him,\ and breaks the spell as she moves to sit in the gaudy Victorian chair by the
portkey they had been provided with that would allow them into Hogwarts.

"Okay, so the meet-up location is still Moaning Myrtle's loo, right? We aren't changing it for the
fifth damn time?"

They all nod their heads at Weaselette. The presentation he and Theo put together would take
between one and a half to two hours. Giving the siblings plenty of time to make their way to the
Room of Requirement and retrieve the sword, then maneuver back towards where the presentation
was being held, two hallways down from the lavatory that was always empty due to Myrtle. They
would wait for them there until the presentation was over.

"Everyone has their galleons? And remembers the words I taught you in code?"

Granger looks at each of them as they nod their heads. She turns to look at him, and he taps against
her hand in his.

REAL

Their own code. Their own word they would be using during this horrendous fucking game they
had to play. It was her idea. To help him of course. Always thinking of others, his witch.

He didn't think they would have to be… too forward with the roles they were playing. He would
have to say shit more than do anything.

Maybe a hard yank here, a quick smack there, an inappropriate touch perhaps. But that was it. That
was all he was willing to compromise.

The possessiveness and ownership would be… easy for him.

He knows it.

She knows it.

They are both okay with it.

They both like it.

So he would have no problems making sure everyone knew that she was his.

But the actual touching and playing… it makes him sick. He doesn't plan on doing much of it at
all. With the way they had laid out the presentation, her enticement and utter breathtaking
appearance would be enough. It had to be enough. It was his presentation. He was in control.
He could do this.

One more part to play. One more night of being someone he hated.

"Alright well, let's go change the world." The Weaselette shoots Theo a wink before walking over
to her brother and disappearing under the cloak.

Theo stares at the space where she was before walking over to him and Granger, grabbing the
portkey wrapped in cloth on the way. Granger places the mask to help hide who she is onto her
face and ties it around the all-wrong hair.

Draco closes his eyes and builds wall, after wall, after wall around himself. Leaving only the cold,
empty, endless behind.

Cold, cold, cold, cold.

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to do this.

I wish I were taking you to a gala, or the opera, or fucking anywhere else, Granger.

The portkey tugs them all.

His internal clock starts.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…

They land on the familiar grey stone floors of the place they had called home for so long that now
was one of the many things tainted and ruined for them.

The last time they were here was the battle.

The battle where everything had changed for all of them.

Draco stands up first and brings Granger with him. Theo keeps looking to his right, where he
knows Red is located.

Her voice breaks the silence. "Okay, the clock has started. See you all on the other side and…"

"Be careful, Gingersnap."

Theo's eyes keep darting back and forth over the empty space next to him where her whispered
voice had come from. Draco watches his hand twitch towards the area restlessly.

"Aye aye, captain."

A ridiculously huge smile comes over Theo's face as he looks down at the ground and shakes his
head.

"Ah! Right on time. Perfect! The students are all waiting for you in the designated room Mr.
Malfoy, Mr. Nott. If you would..."
Here we go…

Draco looks up to see Amycus walking towards them with Filch, Yaxley, and a few other Death
Eaters he had never taken the time to learn the names of.

It wouldn't have mattered anyways. None of them are paying any attention to him or Theo.

No.

Every single one of the fuckers' eyes are to his left.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

He pulls out his mask and places it on, feeling thankful for the cover, for the opportunity to pull
himself together as much as he can.

"Who do we have here…" One of the nameless Death Eater's eyes travel all over his witch.

Draco grabs her arm and pulls her to his side as the men brand her with their eyes.

I take it back. I hate the dress. I hate it. It needs more fabric. She needs fabric covering every inch
of her skin.

Granger has her head low, staring at the floor, hands folded in front of her together.

The complete opposite of his witch.

"This is little Malfoy's newest acquisition from the Dark Lord. A… reward for all of his work."
The group of bastards' eyes all widen as Carrow Cock smiles at Granger and continues. "Will be
quite appealing for the young recruits, don't you think?"

All the men nod their heads as they stare at her. She doesn't say a word, just leans into him as his
hand stays wrapped around her forearm.

I hate this.

I hate this.

I am going to kill you, Carrow Cock.

Soon.
"Go and get the students under control. We will be there shortly."

The group of men surrounding Amycus slowly peel their gazes off his witch before turning and
starting back down the hallway.

Carrow Cock begins to move towards Granger as his smile grows. "You look exquisite,
Mudblood."

Draco's hand around Granger's forearm squeezes harder, too hard probably, as the rapist keeps
walking towards her before he hits off the shield with a loud grunt.

"Let me make myself clear before we proceed." Draco pushes Granger behind his body as he takes
a step toward the man, taking her out of his line of vision. "No one, and I repeat, no one will be
touching or coming even close to what belongs to me. You are not to speak to her, to get close to
her, to stare at her. As you just stated, the Dark Lord gave her to me, and I do not share."

Draco looks down at the man, as he spews all the words that are twistedly true and untrue at the
same time. Amycus has the intelligence to take a step back from the shield, eyeing the space
around him that would keep everyone away from her, before meeting his eyes.

"I have already had her little Malfoy. Before you ever did. Haven't I, sweet Mudblood?"

I hate this. I hate this. I am getting so fucking sick of hearing things like this.

Amycus gawks his head to the left to see his girl behind him, but Draco pulls out his wand and
places it into the man's chest.

"Do not push me, Carrow. If you have something to say about her, you will address me. She is not
for talking."

The monster looks down at the wand against his chest and lets out a tight laugh.

"You and Antonin with the ownership… the shielding charm is a smart touch." The man takes
another step back and begins to turn. "Now come, the students are all waiting."

Draco closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths as he occludes more before reaching behind
him and yanking her to follow.

He feels her other hand come up to wrap the hand pulling her around like a fucking object.

Please, touch me, Granger. Remind me. Remind me.

She starts to tap.

REAL
She is real. She is his. She is safe. She is by his side. She is a part of his team. They are a team.
They can do this. They can do this. He can do this.

He squeezes quickly to reassure her he understood.

They stop at the large double doors where he hears the noises of many students, all waiting at the
slaughter.

All trapped.

"Wait here, and come in after I introduce you."

Draco nods as the man slips through the doors.

"Okay, keep going with Plan B then?"

Draco looks over at Theo, itching a spot close to his temple under his mask. His brother's free hand
is deep in the pocket he knows holds the galleon.

"Yes. I will start. Just assist where needed."

They all jump as Carrow shouts their names, and the doors open.

I hate this.

I hate this.

Twelve minutes and 18 seconds in, and I already fucking hate this.

Draco enters first, with Granger following close behind him and Theo taking up the back. He looks
straight ahead, not meeting the eyes of the students with no choice in front of him.

Draco steps up onto the platform and turns to the crowd.

"You are being granted the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be a part of history. In a way that has
never, and will never happen again. That honor, that privilege, is something you all should be
grateful for."

He had rehearsed his lines repeatedly in his mind over the past couple of weeks. The lies keep
spilling off of his tongue with uncomfortable ease. Of a future none of them would have.

More than likely, they would be placed into units similar to his, or used in ways he does not want to
think about by high seated Death Eaters, or will be given the jobs that would need done and then
rendered forgotten, leading to their deaths.

Some are at the edge of their seats, eyes twinkling with excitement at the empty promises and false
picture of life he is spinning for all of them.

More than half watch with dead eyes. They have already been beaten down, given into the world
they were forced to live.
But a few, a couple, are staring back at him with a hate that he latches onto. They try to hide it, but
he sees it. Their lips pull up into slight sneers. Their hands ball into fists in their laps, knuckles
white. Their breaths come quickly with their anger.

Be angry. Be very fucking angry. Be angry enough to do something.

He goes through his life in the way it would be written in the books. In the way that hid who he
wanted to be. Who he was trying to be.

He talks about life as a Death Eater, as a servant of the Dark Lord, like it is the greatest gift to ever
be bestowed upon them.

He lies.

And lies.

And lies.

For a long time.

Theo interjects every once and a while with his own shit of a story about being second in school
and how the Death Eater army takes only the best of the best.

And Granger just stands there. Stands off to the side. Head lowered. Not saying a word. Not
moving at all.

But she is taking in everything. Counting the number of students. Noticing the reactions. Watching
the other Death Eaters and listening in on the little and quick conversations happening close to her,
where the fuckers had chosen to stand.

Draco notices the male and some female students leering at her. Most of them stare at her chest for
so long, that he almost sends a couple of hexes into the crowd.

He spots a taller dark-haired boy sitting close to the front in Slytherin robes, looking at her with a
hunger Draco distinguishes.

The boy knows what she is. He recognizes it and is longing for it already.

The boy next to him elbows the snake and whispers into his ear. The other male smiles and points
at his witch before whispering back to the companion.

She could end you where you sit right now.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Nott. We will open the floor for questions here in a bit. But first, as
promised, a demonstration of the most recent accomplishment Mr. Malfoy has procured for our
Dark Lord."

Draco blinks and looks over to Carrow walking up to the stage, dragging something behind him.
No, not something.

Someone.

Someone whose head is covered by a large sack.

Someone whose clothes are rags and skin is covered in dirt.

Fuck… I have to do this for real.

He had never had to do it for real. He had never had to mean it, knowing full well that the curse
would work and cause pain.

It had been a strenuous and ripping process, creating a curse. An… accomplishment he never
planned on adding to his repertoire. Ever since Potter attacked him in the loo and cast Snape's
created curse onto him, he had become fascinated with the powerful magic theory and dedication
needed to hone this ability.

And he surmised that if Snape could do it as a student, so could he.

And while he did not believe in the sanctity and all that shit of keeping lines pure, he did have the
blood of two Sacred twenty-eight families within his veins. Two powerful, yet dark, magical lines
that had manifested very early in him.

Plus, if his life hadn't gone to hell during the break before 5th year, he would have given them both
a run for top of the class. Well, maybe not Granger.

Instead, his talents and energy had to focus on becoming someone that could survive, and protect,
and manipulate. Learning to wield unique and completely original magic seemed like it could
come in handy.

During 7th year, when Granger had gone missing (that time he was thankful for it), and he had to
play the part of Umbitch's lackey all fucking year, he had found Snape's annotated potion book in
the Room of Requirement. After the professor confirmed it was his, he gave it to Draco and began
adding magical theory to their occlumency lessons. Draco became obsessed with the book.
Memorizing all of the notes, trying to magically remove the scratched through and erased areas not
to miss a phase of Snape's process.

He had planned and learned to create something that would hopefully help him. That would help
her.

But of course, that is not what he was to do with his talents.

No.

Instead, he had to use them to destroy. To curse. Creating curses was different than spells. Like any
dark magic, it claimed a piece of you that would stay damaged forever. The casting of pain asked
for pain in return. Because dark magic always had a cost. It always asked for something.

And even when he cast the curse on Granger, Theo, and Red, even though he knew they would feel
no pain, he felt it within himself. He felt the hollow, shriveling of something still there inside him,
but darker and jagged, that nothing wanted to be around within him. That sat alone and empty, but
always there, wanting to claim more. Wanting to spread, and bleed, and corrupt because it always
wanted more. Never satisfied.

And it felt… good, as he said the words in just the precise way, and clung to the need and desire
within himself that had to be there to make it work. It still felt good leaving his wand and turning
into the green flash of light. But as it left and traveled to the victim, the good mutated into a stab
that punctured and claimed an area of him. Broken. Darkened. Taken. Changed forever.

He feels that area with every breath. He feels it every time he is faced with a decision, and action, a
chance to become something one way or the other.

The feeling scares him because he is convinced it is more than a feeling, it is becoming a part of
him.

The person is thrown onto the floor a couple of feet away as the sack is pulled off of their face. It is
a woman. A woman he does not recognize.

He looks over his shoulder to Granger. Her eyes are tilted as far as they can go without lifting her
head towards the female in front of him. She taps against her dress.

NO

She doesn't recognize her either.

He turns back around to see the woman crying on the floor.

Fuck.

"We saved this Mudblood during our last siege for demonstrations and purposes such as this. Mr.
Malfoy, if you would…"

The woman starts making noises of fear on the floor in front of him. Sad, pitiful, broken noises.

The bile starts to come up his throat.

"Pl-please, please, no. Please. I, I am a mother, I am a wife-a daughter-a-a person. A…"

He needs her to stop. He needs her to stop saying those words right fucking now.

"Mr. Malfoy, whenever you are ready."

I don't want to do this.

I don't want to be this.

I never wanted to be this.

He pulls out his wand and looks at the woman's hands. Not able to meet her face. Because he is a
coward. Always has been. He tried to find every possible way to kill Dumbledore from a distance,
making it less personal, less close, less real. All because Draco knew deep down that the boy he
used to be at sixteen couldn't do it. He couldn't look a person in the eyes and end them. He didn't
have it in him back then, but they had forced it into him now.

All the… discipline from his aunt during her own torturous occlumency and dueling lessons. Being
forced to cast cruciatus after cruciatus and then the killing curse on the peacocks on the property.
To ensure when the time came, he could end Dumbledore. All of the times he had been at the
mercy of one of the darkest wizards ever to exist, feeling his wrath and putridly dark magic enter
his mind, his body, his soul. Over, and over, and over again. Taking ownership of it all. Forming
him into someone, no, something different than who he could have been. Someone who could and
had hurt innocent people.

He still didn't want it. Still didn't like it.

But he could do it.

He had done it.

He had done it to Lovegood. You had to mean it, dark curses. The person casting had to mean them
for it to work.

She is still begging.

He needs her to stop begging.

He raises his wand. “Adolebitque Pellismus!”

He swears he hears a breath of a laugh in his head as the green flash travels towards the woman,
and something shrivels and splits in the same place he had felt it before. Only now it is bigger.
Darker. Stronger. Corrupting more and more.

It's becoming too dark in here...

The pitiful noises stop, and the searing pain filled noises begin. The first real noises he has heard
because of his curse.

He still can't look her in the eyes, but he sees her hands start to convulse, and the noises turn into
gags and gulps of air as the curse works its way over her body.

The skin of her hands starts to change.

Draco looks a little lower until they are out of sight.

The students are silent.

Everyone is silent.
Except for her.

For the female dissolving away before him.

Occlude. Occlude. Occlude.

Cold. Cold. Cold.

But he can't occlude away the deadly dark part of him that has just grown again. For some reason,
no matter how hard he tried, no walls would form around it. No barrier could be created.

Because it isn't a memory… it is more than that.

He thinks enough time has passed. Draco waves his wand and ends the curse, but the woman
continues to make her gasping noises.

They won't stop.

She won't stop.

I need her to stop.

Now.

"Truly magnificent, isn't it? Thank you, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco takes a step back towards Granger. Needing to be closer to her. To her goodness. To her
hope. To…

Carrow pulls out his wand. "Avada Kedavra!"

The noises stop.

Finally…

"Now moving on…"

Draco looks up and watches Carrow Cock step over the dead woman to stand closer to him.

Like nothing was out of the ordinary. Like she was a piece of furniture.
Draco had seen a lot of dead bodies and people die over the last couple of years. The Dark Lord
had killed everyone on the snatching unit except for Greyback after the Golden Trio's escape from
their manor. He had seen his snake eat a person on the large dining room table where he used to
have breakfast with his mother and father every morning. He had watched Luna fall to the floor
unmoving. And now he gets to add an all-red woman, whose eyes are looking directly at him even
in death, to the list.

Don't worry, I hate me too.

He has to swallow the bile before it comes out.

"Any questions for Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Nott?"

Draco blinks and turns back to the students. Only the students he had seen full of anger are looking
at the body. Staring at it. Taking it in and letting it fuel what they are feeling inside.

Look. Keep looking. Be brave.

Everyone else is looking anywhere but to the right.

He sees the tall Slytherin male who has been eyeing his witch for the entirety of this little
performance, hand shoot up.

"Yes, Mr. Witter."

The snake lowers his hand and points to Granger.

"Who is she?"

Play the part.

Play the part.

Draco clears his throat. "She is an example of one of the many rewards the Dark Lord gives to
those who please him."

He hates every fucking syllable as it leaves him.

The boy raises an eyebrow. "So she is your whore?"

He watches many of the students fidget in their seats while most of the blokes and some girls start
smiling ridiculously, eyeing his woman in a different way than before.

"She is for me to do whatever I please with."

I don't mean it, Granger.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

He taps on his leg, the one facing her.

NOT REAL

More for himself than for her.

Another hand shoots up.

"So if you tell her to kiss you, she will?"

"Yes."

Another bloke's hand shoots up.

"If you tell her to get on her knees, she will?"

"Yes."

Another hand. The shitty snake's hand again.

"So if you tell her to fuck you, she will?"

Draco cracks his jaw. "Yes."

The murmurs grow louder.

"Can we have a demonstration of that?"

Draco adds the shithead to his list, as he leans back, proud of his words. His friends nudge him and
laugh quietly in agreement.

"No."

"But we can expect to receive our own if we make the Dark Lord proud?" Some other fucker pipes
in.

"Possibly."

"Hmmph, then where do I sign up? Let's start now."

A couple of the students laugh and shake their heads in agreement. Draco sees Carrow Cock smile,
realizing the success of this entire presentation playing out in front of him as the students start
talking excitedly to one another.

The few angry ones stay silent. Looking at Granger in a way that she deserves.
A couple more students ask questions not concerning Granger, but Draco doesn't take them in.
Doesn't even remember them after he answers them. He wants to go. He wants to get off this
fucking stage where two women are either dead, or being hurt because of him.

I need this to end.

I need this to end.

"Please see your house leaders to start the initiation process as soon as you can. The first to come
will be placed in a better position than the ones who wait until after term."

Lies, lies, and more lies.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Nott, for your unwavering service to our Dark Lord. You may all go
back to your houses. Make sure to follow the approved routes to ensure no harm comes to you."

The students stand and start making their way out of the double doors. Some talking, some fuming,
some staring at the ground.

All trapped.

Even if they didn't know it yet.

Draco backs up until he can feel her warmth radiating from her body.

I need to touch you.

I need to know I am not this.

I need you to prove to me I am not this.

Theo comes to stand on the other side of Granger. Both of them are still wearing masks, but he
watches Theo slip his hand into his robe pocket, pull out one of the disillusioned calming draughts,
and down it under the pretense of a cough. His other hand is still in his pocket.

"Well, the Dark Lord will be very pleased to hear how well that worked. Over half of them are
signing up as we speak. I knew the Malfoy Mare would be a selling point."

I am going to kill you.

The Death Eater and his clan come to stand before them. Theo pulls together the forms and other
items they had brought for the presentation as quickly as he can.

They are at 107 minutes and 44 seconds.

Their galleons hadn't gone off at all.

Not once.

He isn't sure if that is good or bad.

"Yes. If you need another presentation next year, let us know."

You will be dead before then, so actually, don't worry about it.

He places his hand on Granger's back and presses hard, trying to move her forward and also take in
all the warmth she is radiating.

"Morris, Jenkins, if you would ensure the students get back to their houses safely."

The men walk out of the room as Theo raises and places his hand into his left robe pocket to set off
the galleon informing the Weasley's they are done.

"Now, if you would follow me…" Carrow Cock starts walking in the opposite direction of where
they need to go.

I knew it.

"What the fuck, Carrow? We did our presentation. And after Nott uses the lavatory, we are
leaving."

Draco nods toward Theo, and his brother starts walking down the hallway in the opposite
direction.

"Why so fast, little Malfoy? Come. I have to activate the portkey to allow you to leave anyways."

He is right.

Okay, Plan H. I need him to give me the opportunity. So I don't have to wait until the next
meeting.

He looks up to Theo and gives him a knowing nod, and watches him sink his hand in his pocket as
he turns back to walk beside him and Granger.

Draco feels the galleon in his robes burn in response. Letting them know what plan they are
currently dealing with.

The Carrow Cock turns and starts walking down the hallway again.

Draco looks over to see Granger looking back at him for the first time since before the fucking
presentation.

I will be this, but I am not this.

I promise, Granger.

I can be much more than this.

I can.

I think I still can.

She taps.

REAL

Right before grabbing his hand, and squeezing gently before releasing it.

He places his hand on her lower exposed back and walks down the hallway.

She isn't shaking. She isn't breathing heavy or shallow. She looks composed, okay.

She is okay.

She is okay.

They don't walk far before Carrow Cock turns to the right, and waves his wand before opening the
door and stepping in. The three of them follow to find a very dark-lit room with many chairs and
settees surrounding an open fireplace. The floor is a deep maroon, with large portraits hanging on
the walls. A large drink cart with an assortment of bottles and glasses is to the side, and the room is
already filled with smoke.

From cigarettes being smoked by people.

By Death Eaters.

A couple he recognizes.

His crazy aunt's husband.

Yaxley.

Greyback.
Fuck.

"Come, sit, relax. Have a drink before you go, and take away such a beautiful specimen."

The whispers grow louder as they walk in the room, and the others notice the girl next to him.

Everybody always wants her…

And I hate it.

She is mine.

Draco's hand on her back flinches. They need the portkey. They need Carrow to activate it to get
out of here. And most importantly, Draco needs the chance to do what he has wanted to do for
months.

And the galleon had not gone off after Theo sent the message. That was worrisome. They should
have responded. The agreed-upon procedure was for them to respond. But they hadn't. They
weren't in the lavatory. They may need more time. They have to stall.

Draco pushes Granger forward next to him. He chooses a chair as far away from the group of
people as he can and sits down, grabbing her arm and pulling her into his lap.

She sits obediently. Never looking up. Never reacting.

Play the part.

For her.

He taps on the arm he is still holding.

NOT REAL

Theo sits down next to them, hand still in his pocket. Waiting. Waiting for it to burn.

Draco starts moving his hand up and down the skin of her back. For show and for himself. He isn't
sure which is driving him, and he feels the urge to Avada himself at the thought.

"So the presentation went well?"

Carrow sits next to Greyback who had asked the question.

"It went perfect. We shouldn't have as large of a problem as before. And the few who do still resist
will be much easier to deal with now."

Amycus leans back and stares at the woman in his lap. Draco looks down to where his eyes are
lingering to see her entire leg and waist exposed due to the way he placed her on his knee. He
wraps his arm around her waist, angles her into him further, and drapes the dress over her to hide as
much as possible. She doesn't fight his movements.

Mine. All mine.

The man across from him lets out a slight laugh as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes and accios a
bottle of liquor and a glass to Draco.

"You really don't like to share, do you, little Malfoy?"

He extends his pack of cigarettes, and Draco reaches forward and grabs it.

Pulling out one for himself before handing it over to Theo, who maneuvers one out with one hand,
keeping the other firmly in his pocket.

"No."

Draco slips his hand into his pocket for the disillusioned vial, as he pours himself a glass of the
alcohol. Making sure his wrist hides the spout as he dumps the contents in.

Amycus releases an exhale and tilts his head to the side. "Not even with you, Nott?"

Theo falls into his chair more as he lights his cigarette and takes a drag, shaking his head.

"I want one." Greyback downs his glass of alcohol and slams it on the table next to his chair.

Amycus scoffs. "You destroy all the prisoners sent your way Fenrir."

Both men snicker at each other.

Granger takes the cigarette out of Draco's hands and holds it in front of him to light. After he does,
she holds it out for him to wrap his lips around. He takes a long drag before releasing it and
exhaling to the side of her face.

She holds it in front of him, waiting until he gestures for her to place it into his mouth again.

I should hate this.

I should hate this.

Remember, I hate this.

"Well, I know I have missed you, my sweet. Did you miss me?" Carrow leans forward as his eyes
move over Granger's body.
The hand around her waist squeezes without him meaning to, but she doesn't react. She continues
to look only at him, waiting for his instructions with the cigarette.

"She is not allowed to speak to anyone but me. And only allowed to speak to me when I tell her to."

The man hums in agreement as he accios the bottle of liquor he had given to Draco back to him.

"A strict hand. Yes, she does need that, doesn't she? Antonin always preferred using more physical
methods, but I found the mental games to be much more effective. Did he ever tell you about when
she almost successfully killed herself?"

Draco casts the selective silencing charm around her as he watches her hand holding the cigarette
stutter.

It was something he had wanted to do for the entirety of the time they would be here, but she
disagreed and stated that being in the know of what was going on around her was a much safer
environment than not knowing. He had promised not to unless it seemed she needed it.

Her hand stuttering was enough.

The shocking revelation Carrow had just shared was enough.

She tried to kill herself?

She…

She almost had…

No Granger, nononono.

"It was pretty early. Before Antonin knew what kind of spirit this one had."

The man continues on and Draco occludes to keep himself from reacting to the horrible words
about to come. "He thought he had broken her. He believed he had control over her and left her
unrestrained. Came back to find her minutes away from death, hanging off of the four-poster
canopy bed."

Draco doesn't even blink as he feels the chill taking over his body. He has to. He can't show
anything. Not for her. Not for Carrow Cock.

Carrow takes a swig and grimaces before leaning back. "Luckily, he got to her in time, and then
made it impossible for her to do something like that again. Not that he needed to. After the one
game where he convinced her she had been saved, she stopped fighting for the most part."

You are fire, Granger.

You are hope, Granger.

You are gold, and bright, and priceless.

You are strong, and beautiful, and everything to me.

Everything.

He starts rubbing her back with his fingers. Needing the familiarity. Needing the normal. The
reassurance that she was alive, and warm, and on fire on his lap right now.

The door behind them opens, and Amycus face lights up with amusement.

"Speak of the wizard…"

No.

No fucking way.

No fucking way, my life is this screwed.

No. No. No.

Dolohov walks into view.

Of fucking course…

Granger straightens immediately on his lap. Her whole demeanor changes in an instant as the
monster realizes she is in the room and stops.

And stares.

And stares.

And stares.

His witch starts to shake.

Draco pulls out a vial from his front pocket.

"Open your mouth."

She does.

"Swallow."

She does.

He needs her to calm down. He needs her not to shake and show any reaction to the sociopath still
staring at her. Because if she does, if she shows, he won't be able to stop himself. He won't be able
to play this part.
He taps against her side.

SAFE

SAFE

SAFE

"My pet…" The bastard moves towards her quickly and smashes into the shield hard. "Fuck! What
the hell is going on?"

"Little Malfoy gave a presentation for the scouting unit and apparently likes to share less than you
do."

Draco moves next to Granger's ear, "Eyes on me. Don't take your eyes off me."

Her head raises, and she looks directly at him. She now can't see the man who had hurt her so
terribly gawking at her, undressing her with his eyes as he licks his fucking lips, and continues to
try to maneuver around the shield. Draco has his wand in his hand, waiting for him to pull his out.

I'm so sorry, Granger.

"The scouting unit… why would you have this fucker talk to them? Why didn't you ask that Flint
bloke? He has been much easier to work with."

Draco sits up a little straighter at the man's words. He motions for Granger to move the cigarette
back into his mouth to take a drag. She complies as he moves his hand caressing her back, to the
arm angled towards the group of horrible people.

The sociopath watches.

She is mine. All of her, forever mine.

"Because he is Draco Fucking Malfoy, Antonin. Between Marcus Flint and him, he leaves the
bigger impression, and you know it. Calm the fuck down. Just because you two have shagged the
same cunt doesn't mean we need to start another bloody war."

Dolohov pauses before finally taking a step back from the shield, and sits in the closest seat
possible to Granger, still never taking his eyes off her. Draco watches as Dolohov's hand goes into
his pocket, and he starts fumbling with something within.

"Yes, as Carrow said, just because Flint has been lucky in his lead assignments does not make him
an actual valuable asset to any team or assignment, so best of luck working with him," Draco says
as he watches the man's face twist into a sneer, keeping his eyes on his girl, who keeps her eyes on
him.

"He has the best record for finding Order members out of your entire lot. I think I chose the right
person to help me find the female Weasley."

Theo sits up immediately. "Ginevra or Molly?"

Draco looks over at his mate, trying to convey the need for him to calm down, but Theo won't look
at him.

Theo's eyes are darting back and forth, showing the nerves taking over his body to anyone who
knew him.

Dolohov twists his face into irritation. "The pretty young one. Whatever her name is."

Fuck. Of course.

Theo… you and I have horrible taste in women.

Everyone wants them… and in the worst ways.

"What for?" He motions for Granger to move his cigarette again, and she does. Dolohov watches,
his eyebrows rising in interest and his mouth quirking to the side slightly, taking his attention away
from his brother beside him, who is struggling to keep it together.

Dolohov sits back and points his finger toward the woman in his lap.

"For it. Pretty sure the female was the one to obliviate the memory. Have the belief that its wand
and blood may be able to counter the spell. But I have to find the bitch first. So enjoy it while you
can, little Malfoy."

Theo's hand balls into a fist, and he looks down at his lap as he squeezes his eyes shut.

"Blood?"

The sociopath shrugs and takes the bottle out of Greyback's hand and chugs it.

"Dark magic, sacrifice, will probably have to bleed her dry." He takes another drink.

Draco is about to ask another question when the galleon in his pocket starts to burn. He looks over
to Theo to see him pulling out the object and looking down at the top. His face goes pale.

Fuck.

Theo taps against his leg.

BAD
GO

He stands up immediately. "I need to use the loo."

Theo walks over to the door.

"Make sure you stay in the main corridors. No wandering off. The others are protected with some
pretty damaging curses if they are breached. We have had a couple students try to leave."

Theo gives a swift nod before opening the door and disappearing.

They need to go. If it was bad, they needed to get out of here as quickly as possible. They needed…

"Do you know how that mark right there above its elbow came to be?"

Draco blinks as he is brought back to the room to see Dolohov staring at one of the many scars on
his witch's skin.

No.

Stop talking.

Stop fucking talking.

The man lets a twisted and hungry-looking smile creep across his face. It spreads like a disease and
travels across the room onto Draco's skin, making his skin prickle and his hair stand on end.

"It is one of my favorite memories..." The man readjusts himself very obviously, and Draco loses
it.

Fuck this!

He stands up, yanking her into his front to keep her from stumbling forward and from seeing the
monster.

"We are done here."

He reaches into his pocket as the galleon burns again.

Everything was going to shit so fucking fast.

He pulls out the fabric holding the portkey, yanking Granger to his other side to place himself
between her and the monsters.

"Carrow, activate the portkey now."

He holds his arm out at one of the two men who had raped his girl.
You are dead.

Soon.

That I promise you.

I promise it with everything I am.

You will die.

The Cock snickers in amusement, looking from him to the sociopath before taking another gulp of
his drink and pulling his wand out.

The galleon burns again.

"This has been fun. It was so nice seeing the Malfoy Mare look so fuckable again, don't you think,
Antonin?"

Dolohov's entire body flinches at the horrible nickname, and it takes everything in Draco not to
react in a similar fashion. Which then makes him want to vomit.

I'm not like him.

I'm not like him.

She says I am not like him.

The man waves his wand, and the small stone in his hand glows for a moment.

Showing that it is now activated.

Draco turns and places her in front of him, pushing her out the door.

"Enjoy it while you can, little Malfoy. It will be mine again soon. It will…"

He shuts the door on Dolohov's voice.

The galleon burns again.

Draco grabs her and starts walking as quickly as he can to the lavatory.

"Draco, wha…"

"The galleon has gone off four times. Something is wrong."

Both of them move down the hallway and around the corner.

Carrow hadn't acted like something was going on. No one came in with news of intruders. No
alarms or chaos happened. So what could be wrong? What could have gone wrong? Did they not
 find the sword?

Draco opens the door to the loo.

Was it not here? Was the…

"I am not making a fucking plaque for you, Ginevra! I refuse, you hear me? Gingersnap,
shitshitshit come on! Not you; I'm not making a plaque for you!"

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - This entire chapter is dark. Please proceed with caution. Disturbing discussions
of rape, suicide, and depictions of gore.
 Theo
Chapter Notes

I can’t quite put my finger on why… but this may be my favorite chapter I have
written so far.

TW!! In end notes

See the end of the chapter for more notes

She is fine. She is going to be fine Theo. It’s not that much blood. It… it isn’t that big of a pool…
That is now soaking through my robes and disappearing down the drain feet away from us.

There isn’t that much red. Most of it is her hair, right? Yes, yes, it is her hair. It isn’t all blood and
a flashing detrimental diagnostic charm. No, it is wrong. It has to be wrong. Sometimes they lag.
Yes, that is it. Sometimes the magic takes a moment to catch up to the body. Of course. That is why
her vitals are going down-down-down-down-down….

He rips off the entire left half of her shirt.

The huge and extremely deep lacerations are all on her left side. All over her arm, her chest, her…
neck.

Her neck, her neck, shitshit, the main artery.

Theo presses both of his hands hard against the skin split open. Too open. Much too open.

Vitals keep going down-down-down-down-down.

“Ginny!!” / “What happened?” / “Fucking dark wards and curses over areas of the castle. She
walked into one and started, started…”

Her hot and already sticky blood keeps seeping through his fingers pressing down on the gash on
her neck. He needs to stop the bleeding. He needs to get blood back in her.

Three shadows surround him. They breathe on him, touch him, hover in his space.

“Back the fuck up! I... I need to be able to focus. I need my bag. Blood replenisher, wand, dittany,
shit…”

He feels something he shouldn’t be able to feel against his fingers on her neck.

Vitals keep going down-down-down-down.

“The bleeding needs to stop. She needs to stop bleeding. She, I, I need her to stop bleeding.”

He looks at her face. He shouldn’t have done that. The skin is pale, bloodless, lifeless looking.

“Theo, tell us what to do.”

“Put your hands over mine, press hard. Like so fucking hard. I, shit, I am going to slip mine out,
and I need my wand. And I need essence of dittany and a bloody potion, and…”

Draco’s hands press hard on top of his. He sees Hermione with his healing kit, pulling out supplies.
Ron grabs the collar of his robes and pulls them off of him as Theo slides his slick and red hands
off of her neck. Ron hands him his wand as soon as he is free from the large and restraining robes.

I am not making a plaque for you.

Please, shit please don’t break on me.

Please don’t fall apart in my hands.

He has been here before. He has felt this before. He has seen this all fucking before. But last time,
it was Draco bleeding out on this exact damn floor. Last time Draco wasn’t bleeding for as long
before he got to him. Last time… last time, the diagnostic chart wasn’t flashing like this.

Vitals keep going down-down-down-down.

“Okay, when I say, move your hands, Draco. You two start dumping the potions down her throat.”

He wipes her blood onto his trousers, giving him a better grip on his wand. He has to focus. He has
to be precise, and accurate, and steady.

The opposite of everything he is feeling.

Theo holds out his wand right above the hole in her neck. “Now!”

Draco pulls away, and blood spurts up, making a haunting gurgling noise happen.

“ Vulnera Sanentur…” He waves his wand over the wound as he slowly and almost song-like
incarnates the spell. The skin starts pulling together at the ends of the large gash. Slowly.

He looks up at the diagnostic charm.

Too slowly.

“ Vulnera Sanentur…” For it to work the best, it has to be repeated three times. It had worked to
save Draco. It had worked before.

It has to work. This has to work. Please, Please let this work!

He sees the yellow fluid of the potion seeping out with the blood through the gash as Hermione
pours the fluid down Ginevra’s throat.

That’s not supposed to happen.

“ Hold off! Hold off, Hermione! Until the wound is closed. As soon as it is closed, give her
everything again.”

The wound continues to close, but the skin, the vitals, the blood… all the blood, sticky, cold, and
balling in the creases of his hands, tell him exsanguination is happening.

“Vulnera Sanentur…” The wound is almost completely closed.

“Now, Hermione!”

Ginevra’s heart stops.

He sees the line go flat; he sees the number 0.

Nonononono shitfuckdamnit nononono

He lifts himself off his knees and climbs on top of her, placing his hands over her heart, pressing
down hard in a rhythmic way.

“Some” BUM “one” BUM “cast” BUM “a” BUM “shock” BUM “spell” BUM .

“I know it!” Hermione comes next to him and raises her wand as Ron pours another vial down his
sister's throat.

Theo lifts his hands as she casts the spell into Ginevra's chest and then resumes pushing.

Her heart-stopping had to be from blood loss. No oxygen getting to her brain, maybe. The potions
need to kick in. They have to kick in if her heart is going to start beating again. They have to soon,
before… before it’s too late.

“Shit, come on Gingersnap. Come on, come…”

“It’s beating. Her heart is beating on its own, Theo.”

He looks up at Draco’s words to see the chart.

Vitals are going up….up….slowly….up….

But they are going up. They are. They are. The potions are kicking in.

Okay, okay, her other wounds are still bleeding. She needs a pepper-up potion, murtlap, and lots
and lots of dittany, so she doesn’t scar.
She can’t scar.

She can’t be tainted.

She can’t. Not her. Not her.

“How much Essence of Dittany do I have?”

“Three bottles.”

Shit, I don’t know if that’s enough… use it on only the largest wounds and lacerations. Use
murtlap for the rest.

Theo nods his head. “Pour a whole bottle onto her neck. Give her a pepper up as well.”

Theo looks down at the rest of her body.

It is bad. Just as bad as Draco’s was in 6th year.

Her shoulder is cut so deep he can see her bone and cartilage. A long gash extends from the back of
her elbow up under her armpit. There are dozens of slices on the outer part of her forearm, so close
together it looks like the skin has peeled back. And her hand…

Oh fuck.

“Ron, where is her finger?”

“What?”

Theo looks at the four digits. There should be five. Everyone knows that. A hand has five. But
when he counts them for the third time, he only gets to four. Four. Fucking four.

Her pinky is missing.

The whole thing is missing.

Gone.

Just a bloody empty space remains.

Theo holds up the evidence of what he is talking about. “Her fucking finger. It’s gone. Did you
grab it? If, shit, if you grabbed it, I could put it back. I could stitch it together. Re-align the…”

“I didn’t grab her bloody finger, Nott," Ron scoffs. "I barely pulled her out before it sliced her head
off. Getting her back here and cleaning up the trail of blood was fucking impossible enough. I
didn’t even know she lost her finger.”
The weight on his chest keeps pushing harder and harder.

She needs her finger. She has to have all of her fingers. She can’t lose that piece of herself. Not for
this war. Not her. She needs to stay together. All of her needs to be together.

He raises off her, his legs on either side of her body.

Vitals are going up…up…up..

He presses his hands against his thighs to stop the shaking. “Where did this happen? I’m going to
get it. We may have time to…”

“Not fucking happening, Theo. We need to get out of here.”

A high-pitched giggly laugh echoes in the lavatory. Theo looks up and sees the obnoxious female
ghost fluttering out above one of the stalls.

“Drakey is right. The halls are not safe after dark. Too many students have tried to escape as end of
term comes closer.”

“We need to get out of here. Is the portkey activated?” Ron asks.

Theo looks back down at Ginevra. At her hand. At the piece of her now gone.

At the vitals that are still flashing. She isn’t okay. She isn’t seconds away from death anymore, but
she still isn’t okay either.

“We can’t move her yet. We need to get her vitals to at least a yellow before we can move her.” He
kneels down next to her, and starts casting Ferula spells over the lacerations on her arms. The blood
loss was the most concerning.

Hermione sits across from him and starts cleaning and placing murtlap and then bandage charms
over the areas.

Theo gestures toward his bag as he tries to close the wounds on her forearm. “Give her another
blood replenisher.”

“Theo, the portkey is only activated for a short amount of time. We have to get out of here now.”

“She can’t portkey in her condition Draco! It will kill her!” Theo screams as he watches the
diagnostic charm.

Vitals are going up.. up. Up. Up

She is in the orange.

Thank fucking Merlin. Orange is my new favorite color.

All four of them start working on her in silence. Only Theo speaks up to instruct them where
needed, while the squeaky ghost keeps watch for them.

Her weird friendship with Draco was paying off.

Theo looks Ginevra over. Everything externally is okay. Everything is as good as he can make it
except for her fucking finger.

The rest is up to her.

That was a huge part of the healing process he had learned way too early in life. How his attitude,
his stamina, and his drive affected his healing.

Physically, the terrace incident caused much less damage than some of the things his father had
done to him in the left room or throughout the years. It should have been a quick fix. A back to
normal within a few days injury. But a part of him had died that day. The part that wanted to fight,
wanted to live, believed things would get better. His father had stuck a fork in all of it.

And it turned out that wound took the longest to heal, both figuratively and literally.

He needs Ginevra to fight. He needs her to want to take a breath. To want to wake up. To continue
on.

I… I don’t know if she wants to…

He had seen it over the past couple of weeks. The guilt. The pain. The emptiness. The need for
diversion. The love for someone no longer here. The fear that things would never get better, never
get easier, never stop hurting.

He recognized it because it lives in him as well. It had almost taken him a long time ago.

But it can’t take her.

Please, please, please, no plaques, Ginevra. I… I don’t want always to be remembering you.

“What now?”

Theo falls back on his legs tucked underneath him. “We… wait. The potions, the charms, the
dressings, they are doing everything they should be doing. Now we just wait for her.”

Draco moves into his line of vision, behind the diagnostic charm. “We have maybe three minutes,
Theo, and then we have to go. If we don’t, we are all dead.”

Theo doesn’t respond to his brother. He can’t. He can’t talk or take in their current situation. How
fucked they all are once again.

Dolohov is looking for her.

Her.

Gingersnap.

He was right down the hall, talking about bleeding her out as she bleeds out doors away from him.
Even if she survives this, she now has that to deal with. They all have that to deal with.

“We need to get her especially out of here, Nott.”

“What? Why especially her ferret?”

Theo sees Ron holding a very large sword in both hands.

Well, at least that went right.

“Dolohov is apparently making finding her a top priority. He believes he can use her magic or
blood to get Granger’s memory back so that he can get her back.”

This conversation needs to end. The diagnostic numbers spiking agree with him.

“Stop talking about all this shit around her! She is fighting right now, you git’s! Fighting for her
damn life, you don’t know what she can hear, what she is taking in. So stop talking about all this
right now!” Theo moves her torn shirt over the area he had exposed to treat her wounds and places
his robes over her.

Waving his wand, he places a cushioning and warming charm on her.

Vitals are going up up up up up.

It is almost to yellow. Almost there.

“25 seconds Nott.”

Fuck all of this.

Fuck this shitty life.

He bends down and carefully pushes his hands underneath her blood-covered body, pulling her up
into his chest as he raises off the floor.

It would be better if someone were holding her. It would keep her more secure—less of a chance of
her injuries getting re-opened, or worse.

Theo readjusts her slightly in his arms, trying to support her neck.

“Nott.”

Theo groans and doesn't take his eyes off the witch. “Shit, okay, okay let’s go.”

"Thanks Myrtle. I owe you another one." Draco holds out the piece of fabric with the stone lying
on it, and they all grab it simultaneously.

The lavatory and the giggles of the ghost all start spinning and whipping as they are sucked
through. He squeezes the redhead up into his chest as tight as he can.
Hold all of her together.

Please, please stay together.

His legs give out from underneath him, and he falls backward onto the wooden floors of his rooms.
Back in his safe space. She is safe here.

“I, I need to get back to the safehouse. We are almost at our time limit. I need to tell my parents and
Kingsley. Can she…”

“She is going nowhere, Ronald! I’ve got this. I can heal her.” Theo slowly raises and runs into his
room, placing her on his bed.

As he pulls back, he sees the yellow of the diagnostic charm.

I take it back; yellow is the best color.

“She is okay, she is okay.” He reassures himself.

Hermione crawls onto the bed across from him and starts pulling Ginevra’s hair off her face, where
it is sticking and coated with blood.

A couple of the dressings are bleeding through already. Probably from him having to move her.

Theo starts taking them off, while Draco places new ones next to him for easy access.

Ron comes into his periphery, looking anxiously down at his sister. “Is she, is she…”

“She is going to be fine, Ron. Go tell your parents. Go inform The Order.”

Ron stares at his sister for a moment before looking up at Hermione and nodding, and grabbing the
cloak on his way out, still holding tightly onto the sword.

Theo is working to redress some wounds when he hears Ginevra’s throat make a wheezing sound
as her body jerks slightly.

She is waking up. She is gaining consciousness with the increased oxygen levels.

All good signs. All great signs.

Theo pours a pain suppressant into her mouth that opens and closes sporadically as she tries to
breathe through the pain.

Ginevra begins to moan and turn her head back and forth as the potion kicks in.

Her head tilts towards him as she cracks her eyes open and blinks slowly. Her hazel eyes are
clouded and moving rapidly even though her eyelids are barely open.

“Harry…”
She reaches out with her four-fingered fucking hand towards him.

Shit, she thinks I’m him.

She had lost a lot of blood. A close to deadly amount of blood. He is covered from the ears down
in her blood, and so is she. The woman was bound to be delirious.

Ginevra reaches up to his face, slowly caresses his cheek, and smiles at him. “Where are your
glasses?”

He lets her touch him. He says nothing to her hallucinatory words.

“Where… where have you been? I missed you.”

Theo reaches up, places the hand touching his face into his, and slowly caresses the top of it with
his thumb, covering the missing fucking part of her.

“I missed you too Ginev… Ginny.” He chokes out uncomfortably.

Her smile grows, and he watches her eyes roll before coming back to him. She needs sleep. She
needs time. She needs her finger.

“I still love you. But… but I like him. Is it okay, Harry? Is it?”

He has no idea what the woman is saying. But he wasn't going to add to her stress, make her body
freak out. He would pretend if she needed him to. He would be whatever she needed him to be.

“You’re okay, Ginny. You are going to be better than okay.” Theo says.

“I think I’m drowning. Can you… help me?”

He nods his head and reaches for the dreamless sleep potion Hermione holds out for him.

“Yes, I’ll help you. I promise. I’ll hold you up out of the water Ginny. You’re going to be fine. Can
you open your mouth for me?”

She listens, and he pours in the liquid.

Her eyes start to close, and the smile stays on her face.

Theo’s eyes go back to her hand.

Everything else would fix.

It would all piece back together, and with the amount of dittany, it wouldn’t scar.

But… her hand… her fucking finger.

“She needs her finger.”

“She’ll be okay, Theo. She’ll be okay without it.”

No, she wouldn’t. She shouldn’t. She needs to be whole. She deserves to be. The war had already
taken enough. It couldn’t have this too.

If only he had it.

He knew how to put it back. Put her back together. He could do it. He was just missing the piece
he…

Or…

I could…

Shit, Theo boy…

Yes.

Yes.

I can do it.

I want to do it.

Let’s do it.

Theo smiles and raises his wand to his left hand.

……

Green is his new favorite color, and five is his new favorite number.

Green because the diagnostic charm hovering over Ginevra’s body has stayed that color
consistently over the last 14 hours. He would never admit it to Draco, but he always preferred the
color red before.

Five because that is how many fingers she has on her hand—all five.

He smiles at his handiwork, pun intended, as he looks down at the dressing.

Merlin, I’m hilarious.

Theo isn’t sure if her skin is paler than normal due to the blood loss she is still recovering from or
if his skin is much tanner than he had ever noticed before, but the difference had been shocking.

He was trying to fix that as well.

To make the digit look like it belonged. Like it fit.

He had never noticed the differences between a male and female hand before.

Her fingers are skinnier, paler, yes, but also daintier in a way he can’t really put into words. The
woman was an athlete, and her hands showed it. She has large calluses on the balls of her thumbs,
the outer rim of her hand, and on most of her fingertips from flying and holding her broom during
quidditch. Yet still, her hands, knuckles, skin, and nails all look very feminine.

Her pinky doesn’t. It is tan, built differently, bulkier, and rougher in the knuckles. Marked in a few
places from use and abuse.

He needs to fix that.

He is trying to fix that.

He has some ideas for potion combinations to experiment with. Draco had been helping him look
up and buy ingredients and being a soundboard for all his ideas bouncing into his mind.

They both are under the impression it would be a simple brew. It didn’t exist already, probably due
to the need being so obscure.

I mean, how often does someone need to try to match body parts to a body?

But for now, he will have to do with essence of dittany on the stitched together tissue to ensure no
scarring at the joining, and a disillusionment charm with a cosmetic spell as well. They wouldn’t
hold long.

The disillusionment charm he had over his whole body only lasted 8 hours before needing re-
casted.

But until he and Draco could work on the potion, it was the best he could do.

“How is she?”

Theo raises his head off of his crossed arms, lying on the bed in front of him, to see Hermione
walking into his room.

“Good. No changes. She will probably wake up soon. Is Draco back yet?”

Hermione shakes her head and comes next to him as she reads over the chart hovering above
Ginevra. Draco would hopefully be coming back soon with the ingredients they needed to start on
the brew.

“Is Ronald coming…”

“No. I talked him into going back to The Order. With the promise to floo him and his parents every
hour until she wakes up and can floo on her own. He really couldn’t fight me on it. They are
apparently making him recount everything and letting him lead discussions with the Magical
Congress of the United States of America.”

The Order was working fast; he would give them that. And Theo knows they need to if they are
going to be able to act in a little over two weeks when the next spectacle is supposed to happen.
Hermione turns her attention down to him. Her lips form a thin line. “You need to change your
dressings.”

Theo rolls his eyes. No, he didn’t. He had magically cut the incision beautifully. Right at the joint,
not a millimeter right or left in the wrong direction. Truly, it was the cleanest cut he has ever seen.
And he had quickly cauterized the skin as soon as the incision was made.

It wasn’t bleeding. It was stitched, painless, and would heal long before Ginevra’s wounds. Maybe
two or three days tops.

Theo was thrilled to find it really wasn’t holding him back much already. He was still able to cook.
He was right-handed, so it didn’t mess with his castings or magic. Even his healing didn’t seem to
be affected much. Maneuvering the gauze and opening vials was a bit different. And he had
fumbled with a couple before realizing that angling his left hand a bit lower solved the issue, but
once he figured that out, they all opened easily enough.

It wasn’t a big deal.

Nowhere near permissible for the reaction Hermione had, and was still conveying every chance
she got.

“No, I don’t, Hermione. I know you are smart and all, but I know more about healing than you do.
My hand is fine.”

“It’s not your hand I’m worried about.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Theo pulls out a pain suppressant potion and a new roll of gauze and places them on the nightstand
next to the chair he is sitting in.

Hermione lets out a frustrated huff. “Oh, stop it, Theo! Stop acting like all this is normal! Like
smiling as you cut off your own finger is normal! Like making jokes about how you are one finger
closer to needing Langster Hughes’ hook attachment is normal! Like, like, like this isn’t a big
deal!”

You and Draco with the dramatics…

Theo shrugs and leans back in his chair. He looks down at his bandaged left hand. It wasn’t a big
deal. Right? His belief and feeling like this wasn’t a big deal isn’t wrong, isn’t fucked up.
Hermione is being overprotective, that’s all. Earlier Draco had to have been joking about his shock
and surprise.

Anyone would have done it.

It was normal.

Completely normal.

Yep, it’s fine. It’s normal. I’m normal.

“This isn’t a big deal. She needed a finger. We didn’t have her finger. So I gave her a finger I did
have. Problem solved. I am very handy, as you know.”

He laughs as Hermione growls and turns her back to lean against the mattress as she crosses her
arms, glaring at him.

He holds up his bandaged hand as a joke, “Oh come on, high four Hermione!”

She visibly revolts away from his expression and looks at him with disgust as he laughs again.

“I have never wanted to smack you until now, Theo. This is a big deal; deflecting with humor isn’t
going to change that.”

“Yeah, well, neither is continuing on about it. What’s done is done.”

And I am proud of my decision.

She is whole.

Count them.

One, two, three, four, five.

Not one, two, three, fucking four.

Stupid four. My least favorite number.

“Fuuuuuuuccckkkkk.”

Theo looks up as Hermione turns towards Ginevra, who is still speaking the syllables of the drawn-
out curse word as her head rocks back and forth.

She squeezes her eyes and moans slightly as the tendons in her neck tighten, and she tries to take a
breath.

That has to hurt. Everything on the left side of her throat had been lacerated apart and was still
healing.

Somehow, she gets the breath down but freezes. Her eyes shoot open, and she tries to sit up
abruptly but only makes it a few inches off of the pillow before she places pressure on her left hand
and falls back down.

“Merlin, shit! Bloody hell oouuuch!”

Her voice is unfittingly raspy and weak, even with the crass words leaving her mouth.

Hermione crawls onto the bed next to her and holds her down by her shoulders.

“It’s okay. It’s okay Ginny. You are okay. You just need to relax and…”

“Every breath burns, and my arm and hand feel like they are literally going through a cruciatus
curse at the moment, so bloody hell am I okay. Fuck relaxing. What happened? Did, did we get the
sword? Is Ron okay? What is the…”

“Lay back, Ginevra. Take this; it'll help with the burning.”

The redhead looks his way as he stands and leans over her to pour the potion. She listens and
coughs as the liquid battles to travel down her mending throat.

Theo reaches forward with his bandaged hand before remembering and switching to his right to
wipe off the droplet of potion slipping from the side of her mouth.

She looks him over quickly, then Hermione, then back to him.

“What happened to you? What, I don’t remember anything after the Room of Requirement.”

“Give the potion a few moments before trying to speak again. Are you hungry? Nod your head if
you are.”

Gingersnap just stares at him. Looking him over, eyes focusing on his hand for a bit longer, then
doing a double check over the rest of him before again looking down at herself to survey the
damage.

“My neck…”

“It was the most serious of your injuries. It is healing nicely but will be uncomfortable for at least a
few days before feeling normal again.”

She starts to raise her left hand, flexing her fingers before wincing and stopping the motion,
extending her right hand instead, up to the area that is a light and agitated pink over half of her
neck.

“Can I have a mirror?” She asks.

Theo nods his head and gets up to go to the hallway lavatory.

Hermione would have to tell her what had happened. And honestly, Theo should probably listen as
well. When Ron gave the rundown of events for them, he had been much too distracted to pay
attention. The diagnostic chart, dressings, and rise and fall of her chest held his entire focus.

Theo takes the towel off the bathroom mirror and lifts it from the hook, carrying it back to his
room.

Hermione is helping Ginevra sit up, putting most of her weight on her right side as she grunts and
breathes sharply.

“I feel horrible…” She groans as Theo places the mirror in front of her and angles it up. “Fuck, I
look even worse. Holy hell…”

She turns, giving her a view of the entire wound on her neck. Theo watches her eyes lower to the
peak of one of the dressings covering her left side.

She grabs the hem of her shirt with her right hand, and before Theo can blink, she pulls it up over
her head and rips it down off her left side.
Holy shit!

Her tits.

Merlin’s sake, her tits.

I guess I’m not cursed only to see women I don’t want to see naked in front of me.

He should probably close his eyes, but Gingersnap knows he is standing right next to her. She
knows he can see her stomach, the tops of her breasts that show over the cups of her bra, and the
litter of red and orange specks like paint all over her paler, perfect skin. The woman doesn’t care or
doesn’t mind.

The two of them had… pretended a few more times after the first time in his bedroom. Never more
than snogging. The weight on his chest always started pressing the closer they got, the more she
touched. It went from enjoyable to frightening anytime she would move or put more pressure on
him with her hands without telling him first.

She had tried to strip the day before the Hogwarts mission, but Theo (like the raging moron he is)
stopped her. Not ready. Not… prepared for the skin, the feelings, and the knowledge that he
wouldn’t be returning the favor.

No. They had time, right? At his hesitance, she reassured him and asked before kissing him lightly
on his mouth and promising it would get easier.

He wanted it to get easier. For the first time in his life, he wanted to touch someone and be touched
by them and enjoy it. Give in to it. But he always ended up giving in to his fear and panic instead.

But at the same time, certain things were getting easier. He had been able to endure her cupping his
face, sinking her tongue into his mouth, and biting his lip. Always asking first. Always informing
him right before she was about to do it.

That was progress; he continued to tell himself, smiling at the idea of it getting easier and easier as
the two of them continued to spend more time together. As he got to learn more about Ginevra. As
he began to trust her and like her more and more.

He liked her.

He did.

Really liked her.

“You like what you see, Teddy?”

He blinks and shakes his head before looking up to see her eyes darting between his legs before
triumphantly quirking to the side. Hermione notices as well to his mortification and flushes as she
turns away.

“Ugh… sorry. I-I’ll go grab you something to eat.” He turns and tries to readjust himself to make
walking a bit more comfortable as he tries to think of anything other than her skin, and body, and
chest, and…
Oh shit… come on. Think forks. Yeah, terrifying, sharp, cold forks.

The feeling of her blood underneath your fingernails and the tendon you felt while holding her
throat together… Yes, think of that.

Think of that rather than the soft, perfect, untainted skin that she would allow you to touch if you
could get over all of this shit.

He pours some chilled soup into a bowl for her. It would be less irritating to her throat. Her parents
and Ron had tried to get them to bring her to the safehouse, but after Hermione spoke to them about
Theo's healing abilities, even Ron agreed she was better off here. Apparently, their infirmary
wasn't very sterile.

Theo walks back in to see Hermione helping Ginevra take off some of the dressings so she can
inspect the wounds.

“Ron said someone was walking down the designated path towards you both, so you re-routed to
path F, which took you off the main corridors. We think the Death Eaters recently placed dark
curses over some of the more obscure passageways after having some students try and escape, and
you ran into one. It hit your left side before Ron could pull you out.”

Theo sits on the edge of the bed and raises a spoonful of soup to her mouth. She turns her attention
from the large cut on her collarbone to the spoon, to him, then back to the spoon, before opening
her mouth to let him feed her.

“Thanks, Teddy.”

He nods and gives her another spoonful.

“Well, at least we were able to get the sword. That bloody room thought we needed a huge lot of
stuff. It took forever to find the damn thing. Your side went well, though?”

Theo gulps loudly. Hermione’s hand stutters as she takes the dressings off Ginevra's forearm.

Well.

What a horrible word and meaning that darkly was true even after everything they had to do, say,
and see during the presentation—Draco more than either of them.

All the objectives were met. They made the presentation. They were convincing enough. They had
provided a distraction for Ron and Ginevra. No one had touched Hermione. Draco hadn’t needed to
go further in the role he was playing with her than he wanted.

Technically, all went well.

But to say that felt wrong.

It hadn’t been alright.

None of it was alright.

Seeing Hermione play the role of a war prisoner slag and having to show her body in a way that he
is sure is hard for her to do. Having to sit and listen to such a personal, intimate, and dark moment
of her life be shared without her permission like some small talk wasn’t alright.
Watching Draco lie, speak, and perform as the title everyone had always labeled him as. As others
had tried to make him become since he was 14. A role Theo knows leaves him very confused
wasn’t alright.

Then having to witness his curse mutilating an innocent woman.

That… That had almost set Theo off.

The person who successfully cast that curse wasn’t his brother. It wasn’t the real Draco, but at the
same time, the curse had worked. It had been effective, just like his killing curse worked on Luna.
He meant it. He really was willing to do and be who he believed was needed to keep Hermione
safe. Those actions were becoming a part of him, bigger, more powerful, and consuming pieces of
him. That scared Theo. That scared Hermione. That scared Draco.

Hermione gulps. “We… we didn’t run into any issues that put the mission in jeopardy.”

He nods his head. Hermione put it in the best way. Yes, no damage to the mission, just to all of
them. The bigger picture was still possible, while the probability of them being able to enjoy it
became less.

Maybe… Maybe if they all took turns making the hard decisions, doing the hurtful and breaking
things, maybe they would have a better chance. Have as much of who they were and wanted to be
left as possible.

It wasn’t the worst idea.

And after yesterday, Draco and Ginevra both needed a break.

“Then why is your hand all wrapped up, Teddy?”

She slowly swallows another spoonful of soup.

“Because I cut off my finger.”

He raises another spoonful in front of her, but she doesn’t take it.

“You cut off your finger?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He shrugs and lowers the spoon back into the bowl, not wanting it to drip on the sheets he had just
replaced.

“Because you needed it.”

A pause.

A long pause.

A pause that travels into the moment where Hermione unwraps Ginevra’s hand.

“What the...”

Theo watches her take in the sight of her hand. She doesn’t blink or look away as she raises it and
spreads the four fingers and thumb apart, eyes staying entirely on the one finger, unlike the others.

Theo gulps loudly again.

Shit… maybe I should have cast the charm before she had a chance to see it. Let it sink in before
she has to look at it. I should have explained how it will match soon. I promise. No one will be able
to tell it doesn’t fit, or isn’t normal, or that it is less than the rest of you. I promise. I promise
Ginevra I…

He cuts off his own thoughts. “Draco, Hermione, and I are creating a potion to make it match the
rest of you. I promise, by the end of the week, you won’t even be able to tell it isn’t your finger. I
wanted to go looking for it, but we only had a select amount of time on the portkey, and you almost
bled to death, and your other wounds were…”

“This is your finger.” The words are clipped and emotionless as she continues to stare at the
unmatching part of her. “This… You… This is your finger. On my hand. Because mine was cut
off. And you… and you… fuck Theo; this is your finger.”

She doesn’t look happy. Shit, she doesn’t look happy at all. She looks disgusted, shocked, maybe a
bit angry.

Damn it, was Hermione right? Was this a big deal? Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I mean, why
would she want someone else’s finger on her body, especially one of mine for fucks sakes.

Shit, shit, shit.

You put a piece of your broken, and scarred, and messed up in every way body onto her. Onto her
beautiful, exceptional, untainted body.

Theo boy, what were you thinking?!

I have to fix this.

“Why? Theo, why in the bloody hell would you… Why, why?”

Theo cowers and slides off the bed and into the chair, staring at the floor between his legs. He had
screwed up.

Big time.

“I’m sorry. I… I shouldn’t have…”

Ginevra shakes her head. “You can’t… you can’t give me this… you can’t… Take it back.”

She stabs her hand in between them, offering it back to him. The weight starts to press; the dots
start appearing, and the inhales and exhales become harder and harder.

She doesn’t want it. Of course she doesn’t want it. Nobody would ever want…
He closes his eyes as the dots start moving and growing with the panic taking him over. “Oka…”

“No! No, no, no, no, both of you stop! Just… you both need to calm down. Ginny, sit back. It is
already done. Theo, I am taking your wand because you will not do what you were about to do.”

He feels her pull his wand out of his pocket, and he keeps his eyes closed as his chest caves in.
Getting heavier and heavier and heavier.

Theo didn’t like messing up. He didn’t like hurting things, or making things break, or using the
wrong cleaning charms or polishing potion that left damage.

I never want to cause damage.

He hears her start crying.

Shit, she is crying because of him. Because of something he had done. He had never made anyone
cry before. Never. Not for real. She is the first.

His entire body starts to shake.

The strong and fearless woman hadn’t cried once during this entire shitty situation, hadn’t cried
when she looked over her body at the marks and wounds that were causing her a high level of pain.
High enough that crying would have been a reasonable response.

But she hadn’t.

The thing that made her cry, that is making her sob and spitter between painful breaths, was
something he had done.

I am a monster…

Like father like son.

“I can’t take this. I can’t take… You have to get it off! Get it off me! Get it off me! Take it back
please, please!”

And then she starts to wail, and something inside Theo that he doesn’t know exists, snaps in half.

He can’t even count. He can’t focus enough through all the heat and pressure taking over his body,
and not the good kind. He can’t control any part of his body. It wasn’t his. None of it had ever been
his, never been something he felt safe in. His body attacked him all on its own anymore; his father
didn’t need to do anything. He was destroying himself.

And destroying others around him as well, apparently.

He can’t hear the wailing anymore. Theo isn’t sure if it is because the searing panic, and pounding,
and pressure are drowning it out, or if it is because Hermione had done something, but then he
hears her right next to his face.
“I am knocking you out, Theo. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but I have to.”

……

“…Well, she is a bitch, Granger. And until she stops being a bitch, I will continue to call her that.”

“She is not! She is just overwhelmed, and confused, and hurting and…”

“And like her weasel of a brother, she decides to take it out on the people who do care for her.
Leaving must be a family thing.”

“She didn’t leave to hurt him! He cut off his finger for her. That is a lot. That isn’t okay, or normal.
Nobody does stuff like…”

“I would for you.”

“Oh, shut up Draco…”

“No, I would. In a second. Without regret. I would. Just like Theo did for her Granger. What do
you think would drive Theo to do something like that, huh? You know; you know why he did that
for her. She knows why he did that for her, and she fucking left. I know she is your friend, but
Theo is my brother, and he doesn’t deserve this. For her to hurt him like this. I was around for it all,
for fuck’s sakes. I was there when his father was taking him to the edge of death. My mother and I
tried to intervene. We tried to get the bastard to let him stay with us, to live with us, but he wouldn’t
ever agree, he always…”

Theo sits up on the bed to see his bedroom door open and an angry Draco Malfoy glaring down at
an equally infuriated Hermione Granger. The two of course are leaning in towards each other even
more as the argument continues to intensify.

Bloody sociopaths…

He moves his hand to his temple, which is throbbing. Hermione had knocked him out. She had
stopped his panic attack from consuming him. She had made Ginevra stop crying.

Ginevra…

Wait Draco said…

Wait.

“Where is she?” Theo whispers.

The two hotheads look up and turn. They both stare at him, neither saying a word, until Draco
elbows Hermione in the side, obviously not willing to go first.

“She… She is at the safe house, Theo. She is going to stay there for a little while.”

No.

No. No. No.

Why? Why would she go back to that disaster of a living situation? One that he knows she hates.
Where the stairs are a death trap. And the rooms are so small and feel more like a jail cell. Where
the beds are cots, and the food was scarce. Why would anyone choose that?

Well Theo boy, because you attached a part of your body to hers without asking first.

Shit. This was his fault. He had made her run away due to his inability to be normal. To act normal.
To be someone who people enjoyed being around. He always scared people off by being too
much… too much of something he didn’t really have any control over. Being too much of himself,
whatever that was. And he had scared her off. Her.

“Of fucking course.” He falls back into his bed and covers his face with his arms.

Now he is back to being the third wheel in his own damn house.

Back to being by himself.

Back to being alone.

Alone alone.

Not the better-kind-of-alone with her.

Fuck… I am going to have to remember her now… shit.

“She, she didn’t leave because she is mad at you, Theo. She left because I think everything that
happened was overwhelming for her, and she is mad at herself.”

“I’ll take it off if she wants. Can you let her know that? That I can and will if she wants?”

Theo feels the mattress dip next to him, where Hermione must be sitting.

“She doesn’t want that, Theo. Trust me. It would affect her flying, and that would kill her spirit if
she couldn’t fly as well as she used to. She didn’t even want to learn the charm to hide it. She told
me to tell you that she is the sorry one. And that… that she didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Theo can’t help the inappropriate laughter that begins to leave his mouth. She was sorry.

Oh yeah, ‘so sorry I freaked out because you sewed on a finger without asking me first.’
How twisted was that?

That she was the one apologizing after what he had done?

“So she is gone,” Theo says up to the ceiling.

“Oh bloody hell, no, she isn’t gone. She is just a bit… She has her own shit she is working
through.”

Theo moves his arms and looks up at the blonde leaning against the headboard of his bed,
obviously highly annoyed by the situation.

“No Draco, she is gone. I scared her off. Like I scare off everybody due to being so fucked up.”

His brother shakes his head. “We’re all fucked up, Nott. Anyone who has made it this far is fucked
up, including her.”

Theo glares at him. He doesn't like the way he is talking about her. Sure, she had a lot she was
dealing with. She had been through her own personal hell just like the rest of them.

She had lost a lot.

Her brothers, her boyfriend, her best friend.

Her home.

Her finger. Well, technically, she lost her finger, but she now had a different one. A not as good
one, that is for sure. A second-class pinky, no doubt.

He had to fix this.

He had to make this better, put it back together. At least make sure she was okay. That she was
safe, and comfortable, and treated in the way she deserved.

Yes.

Yes, he could do that.

That was acceptable, right?

“What time is it?” He asks.

Hermione looks over to the wall above him where the clock is. “A little after 6 in the morning.”

Okay, so it is early. Really early. Ginevra didn’t like getting up early. She was more of a night
person. The opposite of him. Theo sits up and gets off the bed. She had lived in the shit hole for
over half a year, and honestly, Theo has no idea how that was possible. Even her continuous
complaints about every aspect of the shithouse fell short of what he had witnessed firsthand the
couple of times he had been there.

He walks down the hallway, into the kitchen, and opens up the fridge.

She hated the food, the sleeping arrangements, the air that she was convinced had given her a cold
almost every month, the eyes always on her, the grime and dust on every surface.
 That wasn’t a place for Gingersnap.

She deserved more than that.

So if she wanted to be there, the least he could do was take care of it.

I can do that. I can take care of things better than people. I can make it a place deserving of you,
Ginevra.

I can.

I can.

I will.

Chapter End Notes

TW!!- This chapter is… a lot. Very graphic descriptions of injuries. Blood. Gore.
Please proceed with caution.
 Ginny
Chapter Notes

I want to start this chapter by dedicating it to those reading this story who are going
through the fight that happens with every breath after losing a loved one.
Thank you to those who have shared your vulnerabilities and stories with me in an
open and candid way that taught me the heartbreaking battle you warriors fight every
day. Because that is what you are.
I pray this chapter does this hard, and impossible to truly understand journey justice.
That you feel seen, and validated in your pain and loss. That you feel less alone
wherever you are.
I hope I do this specific kind of grief justice.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Ginny dear, you just dripped sweat into the biscuit mix. Either you take those ridiculous gloves
off or out of the kitchen with you!”

She stops stirring the large bowl and looks down to see how right her mother is, but like hell would
she be taking them off. No matter how hot and muggy the ransack house became.

Ginny sets the spoon down, appreciating the excuse. Her left hand and arm are killing her.
Throbbing with every pulse of her heart, up into the side of her head.

“Sorry mum. I’ll go set the table.”

Her mother moves over to her space and bumps her back with her arse, having no time for her dilly
dally. All of the high members of The Order will be here for the meeting tonight.

It had been four days since the mission at Hogwarts, and the first time everyone would be in the
same room again.

Ginny walks over to the large cabinet and waves her wand for the plates, cups, and silverware to
follow her into the meeting room.

Her left shoulder smacks into the door as she leaves.

Bloody hell, ouch! I thought you said I would feel better soon, Teddy?

She trips over the edge of the rug in the hallway and almost sends all of the tableware crashing to
the floor.

“Damn it!”

She shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut for way too long as the room starts to move and
waver.
It had been doing that again.

Everything around her looked far away, unclear, muffled in view and sound.

Like she was underwater.

Like she was somewhere else that nobody around her seemed to notice.

With her eyes still closed, she takes a deep breath in, before opening them and focusing on nothing.

Just walking, barely existing, not really feeling present or even here.

Performing, pretending.

Trust me, Teddy, I like to pretend too.

“You need some help, Gin?”

She turns around to see Dean walking toward her with a concerned expression on his face.

Merlin’s tits… just what I need…

“I got it, Dean.”

“You don’t look like you got it, here.”

He pulls out his wand and floats the items into the room she is very clumsily entering.

She tries to roll her eyes, but the room moves again, and she feels herself losing her balance, so she
stops and walks in after him.

They both start setting the places.

Somehow, someway, the table looks different. Ginny isn’t really sure if it is her muffled and
unclear vision that makes the surface shine differently and the chairs' colors look more vibrant.

She blinks, and blinks, and blinks, trying to get her vision to adjust, but it doesn’t. The shine stays.
The colors stay. Even the smell, something a bit chemical while also fresh, stays. The room never
smelled like this. It always smelled dusty and musty.

Fuck’s sake, Gingersnap, your mind is really becoming rubbish a lot quicker than it used to.

She used to be able to go close to two weeks before things got this bad. 10 to 11 days seemed to be
the breaking point when she would have to fall asleep again for more than a handful of minutes.
But now, apparently, all it took was three nights. How pathetic was she?
Ginny sets the last of the silverware down at the end of the table. She stares at the place settings
for a few moments.

“Something wrong?” Dean asks.

Yes. All the time. All the time, something is wrong. Something always feels wrong.

She waves her wand and makes every fork disappear.

The spoons next to them transfigure into the half-blood contraptions.

“What the…”

“Don’t ask questions, Dean.”

She walks out and carefully, and much slower than normal, makes her way back to her room.

She just needed to lay down. Get away from everyone. Get away from the reality of her life.

She wouldn’t sleep.

No. She wouldn’t do that.

Maybe she would count the tiles on the ceiling for the 100th time.

You know there are 43; you don’t need nor want to do that again.

Or she could read one of the books Hermione gave her.

You can’t even walk with how your mind feels right now; I don’t think reading is possible.

“Fuc-“ her foot is falling into the empty, broken space in the stairs. Ginny swings both arms before
her to try and stop the inevitable painful collide that is about to come, but right before she meets
the splintered and jagged wood, a hand grabs her left arm and yanks her back.

She winces loudly at the pain coming from his strong grip. “Ouch! Bloody hell!”

The fire in her arm makes her teeth hurt as she tries to breathe in.

“Blimey, sorry, Gin. But you were about to fall. What, what is going on with you? You seemed
better lately.”

She doesn’t turn around to respond to Dean. She knows she looks, and feels, and is acting like shit.
She didn’t need the reminder. It was on purpose anyways.
Her actions always hurt others; it was time to hurt herself instead.

She opens the door to her four walls and a floor and starts removing her shirt. It is sweltering in
here. The room didn’t have a window, and with the ovens being on all day to cook for the meeting,
the house was sweating. Literally. There are long tendrils of a musty brown-like substance making
trails down the walls slowly.

“Er, your door is open…”

“I don’t fucking care Dean.” She throws her shirt onto the floor and looks down at the light pink
markings all over her left side. Teddy said they wouldn’t scar, and she can already see perfectly
clear skin on most of her forearm where the smaller, less deep wounds have healed.

It still hurt like a motherfucker.

His finger hurt the worst for multiple reasons.

She hears the door shut and looks up to see Dean leaning against it, taking her in.

Oh bloody hell, don’t look at me like that. I know what that look means. I know where that look
leads.

Like the man knows what she is thinking, he averts his eyes from her chest, and back up to her
face, searching between her eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks.

“No.”

She unbuttons her pants and ungracefully slides out of them, kicking them onto the floor.

Dean rubs the back of his neck. “Okay, well… do you want to distract each other again?”

Ginny turns away from him as she stands up and closes her eyes.

Did she want to feel good for a fucking minute? Hell yes.

Did she want this ache, this hole, this sinking sensation that always surrounded her, and made
every breath a battle, to go away? Even if it was all a lie, and fleeting, and temporary?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

‘Yes.” The whispered word leaves her. She doesn’t mean to say it. She doesn’t mean for her
thoughts to turn into actual actions. Her actions always led to more problems. More pain.

She feels his hands on her arms and his chest press against her back. She leans into the touch.
Savoring the comfort of hands on her, touching her, reminding her that she was still alive.
It feels good.

She never felt good. Fake, in pain, not in her own body, parts of her missing and dead, weighted
down with things she didn’t want to carry anymore, alone.

That is what she always feels. And it all hurt way too fucking much.

She needed a break. She needed things to be different just for a minute, just so she could catch her
breath, to find the strength to keep going for a purpose she isn’t even clear on anymore.

His hands go to her bra clasp.

They have done this before. Many times actually, over the last couple of months.

Both of them needed the distraction, needed the comfort, needed to physically feel something
almost alive, almost whole, almost good.

She needed it after Harry, and he needed it after Seamus.

A distraction. Sex. Fucking mediocre in every sense of the word shagging.

Ginny had never had casual sex before. With Harry, the few times had been intimate, emotional,
surrounded by so much promise, and future, and feelings.

With Dean, it was an act. It was all selfish, and brutal, and them taking things out on one another.

But it was better than nothing. It is better than feeling what she always feels.

The clasp snaps apart, and she feels the material leaving her chest as he slides the straps down over
her arms and onto the floor. His hands rub the skin on her arms, being careful not to touch the areas
that are still sensitive, before they caress the backs of her hands.

His chest pushes against her back, and she moves forward towards the cot. His touch ghosts down
to her hand as she steps, and she feels his fingers sliding underneath the material of her glove to
pull it off.

Teddy… Teddy… Teddy and Harry. Harry and Teddy.

Fuck, what am I doing?

She lunges forward quickly and grabs her thin blanket, holding it up to her body and all the
exposed areas as she falls onto the floor.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it, Dean! I, I can’t do this. I shouldn’t do this, I…”

“I still love Seamus too, Gin. I know what this is. I don’t want more either, trust me.” He grabs the
hem of his shirt and starts pulling it up.

“No! No, Dean, I am serious. I can’t do this anymore.”

It feels wrong. Overwhelmingly wrong. Adding to the already all the time feeling of wrongness.
She shouldn’t be doing this. It wouldn’t help. It would make things worse. It would be another
action that would hurt others.

It didn’t use to feel like this. Yes, she sometimes felt guilty afterward, but Harry was dead, and it
was just fucking, so it wasn’t like she was being unfaithful, or needed to hold herself back for
anyone. It didn’t hurt anyone but herself.

What had changed? What was now making her feel like this was one of the worst things she could
possibly be doing?

Merlin’s tits woman, stop lying to yourself. You know bloody well it isn’t a what. It is a who.

Dean pauses and lowers his shirt. “Why? Because of the snake that can’t seem to leave this place
since you came back?”

Ginny fists the material of the blanket tighter in her hands. She looks over to the tray lying to the
side of the room. It was empty now, but this morning it had two deliciously perfect waffles that had
more chocolate chips in them than actual batter and would definitely rot her teeth and upset her
stomach, as Teddy liked to remind her. She had told him that was highly hypocritical for a man
whose veins bled burnt chocolate.

Three out of the four bottles of potions sit empty on the tray. One is still full. The one he had made
to make his finger… fit in his words. She would leave that one full when she set the tray right
outside her door for him, like she had done every morning since coming back.

“Dean, just go.”

The man stares at her for a few moments before letting out a huff of air and turning around, leaving
her room, shutting the door a bit too hard.

Yeap, here I go again, hurting more people with my choices. The Ginny specialty.

Well, now she really feels like shit.

Even worse than before.

Didn’t know that was possible.

She crawls onto the horrible cot and curls up, kicking the blanket off her. It was too bloody hot.

She grabs the glove's material and pulls it off her left hand.

And stares.

The obsession with looking at the different appendage was probably becoming a problem. Anytime
she was alone, she would stare at it.

Hours had passed as she watched it bend, flex, and move to her command, to her want. But it
wasn’t hers. It was Teddy’s. It was his tan skin, and round knuckles, and short, slightly discolored
nail.

He had cut off his finger for her.

A perfectly good finger. He just sliced it off like it was nothing, and for her. Broken, a mess,
drowning, horrible her.

She didn’t deserve this. To be treated like he treated her.

How could she when she still loved Harry?

Teddy didn’t need to be used. People had been doing that with him his whole life to the point the
bloke didn’t even think twice before maiming himself if he thought it could help someone else.
She couldn’t hurt him. She couldn’t be close to him, and distract herself with him, and let him
smile at her, and have him cook her breakfast, and make him kiss her and touch her, and give his
fucking finger for her.

That was too much…

All way too much. Too soon. Too wrong.

Harry isn’t going away, Teddy… I don’t think he ever will.

She couldn’t be what he deserved. She couldn’t give herself to him in the way this action made it
clear he wanted her to.

It had been like being pulled under even deeper into the all the time water she felt surrounded by,
muffled by, hidden by.

She had to get away. She had to leave him. She had to put distance between herself and the option
to… to…

Her right-hand moves up and strokes the part of him back and forth. She watches the movement.
Gets lost in the feeling.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and…

KNOCK

“Come in.” She hears herself saying. Still staring at the finger.

”Here for the tray Red since you… Fuck! What the hell?!”

Ginny blinks and looks up to see the bleached ferret raising his face to the ceiling and turning
around just as Hermione walks in behind him.

“Hey, I thought we would come visit before… Gin! What the?!”

”I knocked Granger. I promise I fucking knocked, and she said come in. I didn’t…”

“I believe you Draco. Ginny, where are your clothes?”

Ginny scoffs and feels for one of the few shirts she had brought back with her to throw on as
Malfoy stays looking the other way, and Hermione averts her eyes. She always was annoyingly
prudish.

I guess getting fucked by the ferret hasn’t changed that.

“It’s hot in here. I took them off.”

“So… you weren’t expecting someone else when you said come in?”

Ginny glares up at the judgy brunette as she pulls the shirt over her carefully.

“No Hermione, I was not laying here waiting to be shagged by anyone. But a girl can dream, can’t
she?”

She smirks, and Hermione shakes her head while the ferret scoffs. Ginny stands and throws on the
nearest pair of pants.

“I, I didn’t mean it like… Oh, you know what, forget it. I just wanted to check in and see how you
are doing? We all miss you.”

“Yeah, I am sure Malfoy is really broken up about it.”

”Not at all.”

”Prick.”

”Bitch.”

She throws the gloves on and wraps a band around her hair to give her neck some much-needed air.
A few strands are stuck due to the sweat on every inch of her body.

Hermione steps closer to her. “How is… how are your wounds healing? Do they still hurt?”

Yes, they hurt. Everything hurts. All the fucking time, it all hurts.

“A little uncomfortable, but way better…”

Her voice is cut off as she stumbles over one of her shoes and falls into the wall of the room.

She feels Hermione’s hands helping her to straighten.

“Gin… what, why are you doing this to yourself? You don’t have to do this to yourself; you don’t.”

Yes, I do, Hermione. It is the only thing that works to stop me from making bad choices and makes
everything seem a bit duller, a bit less painful, a bit more numb.

“Let’s get to the meeting.”

She shoots Malfoy a wink as she passes him, and he sneers at her.

“Where’s Teddy?”

You just can’t help yourself, can you Gingersnap?

“He is here. Just like he is alway…”

Ginny hears him grunt as Hermione elbows him in the side as they walk out of her room.

This time she successfully, without assistance, maneuvers the stairs and walks down the hallway to
the kitchen.

“Need any help, mum?”

Her mother has both hands up in the air, wand moving and placing dish after dish into a line to take
into the meeting.

“No dear, but could you go get your father? He must have become distracted and forgot the time
again.”

Ginny nods her head and makes her way down the hallway and around a corner to her father’s
study. He had been given a room due to needing space to run his given operations for The Order,
and also requiring the quiet to work through the many different forms of hidden communication he
ran and tried to make clear.

She hears his cheerful voice spouting off to someone as she gets closer. He is talking very quickly,
voice continuing to rise and rise like it always did when the man was excited or happy. Something
that she knows he doesn't feel very often anymore. Not since Fred and Percy. She knocks on the
door and hears his cheery voice welcome her in.

Ginny opens the door.

“Hey dad, mum said you need to…”

Her voice cuts off as she sees her father sitting in a chair, holding one of the pieces from his
muggle collection out in front of him. It isn’t the telephone that has her stopping in her tracks. No,
it is the man sitting across from her father listening intently and sporting his signature, knicker
dropping, half-smile back at her father.
Teddy.

Bloody unbelievable…

Even though she knows he knows it is her who entered the room, he doesn’t take his concentration
off her father, who is still chattering on about the complexities and uniqueness of the plugin
mechanism that makes the item work to communicate with someone anywhere in the world as she
walks farther into the room.

“Ginbug, I was just telling Theodore here about the time you and I went to Germany to acquire this
piece. Remember? Oh, she was so young, but she was the only child of mine who seemed to enjoy
my hobby with me. She picked this out, actually. I wanted a different, more modern piece, but her
eyes landed on this, and there was no arguing after that.”

Her father laughs, and Ginny watches Theo’s smile grow as he nods his head and looks over the
object between them.

Gingersnap… we are so incredibly fucked.

“Does this have the charm on it that your wife invented? Ginevra helped me place it on many of
the items in my own collection. It is genius.”

Her father nods his head and sits up straighter.“She is the bright one, my wife. That’s where
Ginbug gets it. That and her strong personality. You know, I find it so interesting that you have a
collection of ancient wizard monetary coins and bills but have never looked into the truly
magnificent structures of the muggle world and their monetary systems. They are downright
interesting, and I think you would enjoy the…”

“Dad, the meeting.”

Her father blinks and shakes his head before looking up at her.

“Oh, that’s right, yes. We should be going. Next time you are free, I would love to see that human
skull you talked about earlier. And I will make sure to show you some photographs I have of my
entire collection.”

Her father stands and places the collector's object back onto the bookshelf. He lost a lot of his
collection when the Burrow was destroyed in one of the raids the Death Eaters maneuvered quickly
after their win at the Battle of Hogwarts.

Her mother had only been able to grab a few items. The photographs being one of them.

“I would very much enjoy that, sir,” Teddy says as he follows her father.

“Call me Arthur, Theodore.” The man pats Teddy on the back quite hard before walking towards
the door. Ginny watches the brunette's face twist in a way that informs her he is uncomfortable. It
always twisted like that when they were going farther than what he was comfortable with when
snogging.
Even without looking at him, even if her eyes were closed, getting lost in his soft and sweet and
perfect mouth on hers, she could feel the twisting start to happen and had learned to pull back.

Her father smiles before walking past her, and Teddy looks up to meet her eyes for the first time
since she has been back at the safe house.

“Ugh, hi.” He says nervously.

“Hey.”

They both stare at each other for a few more moments before he averts his eyes to the floor. His
hand isn’t bandaged anymore, showing off the missing finger like it was nothing. Like it was
normal.

You matter too, Teddy. You matter more, trust me.

“Sorry for intruding. I didn’t plan on it, I promise. I was working on something, and he came up,
and the next thing I knew, he was walking me in here and showing me all his cool shit, and I
probably shouldn’t have let him bring…”

“It’s okay, Teddy. Not a big deal.”

I am a liar. An absolute liar. Don’t listen to me. It is a big deal. Everything about you is a big,
messed up, and confusing deal to me.

She watches him look back up and take her in before nodding.

She knows she looks like shit. Sweaty, tired, dying piece of shit. Not something worth what he
gave up. What he couldn’t take back.

They both continue to stare at each other.

It is time to walk away. It was the moment where it would be acceptable, expected. She should do
it. She should end this, get away from him. Turn away from the easiness, the calm, the quiet, the
floating feeling that always began when he was near her.

Because that wasn’t enough. Nothing was ever enough.

Nothing ever made the hurting, and loving, that was, and is, and always will be Harry stop within
her.

“Thank you for breakfast, by the way. Don’t tell my mother, but I prefer your cooking.”

You are rubbish, Gingersnap, absolute rubbish.

He laughs slightly, and her heart jumps at the sound in the most fucked up way imaginable. Here
she went again, taking, and taking, and taking from him.

I love Harry.

Fuck Teddy, I do.

I love him with so much of me that, that there isn’t room.

There isn’t room for anything else but the pain.

I don’t know how to make room for you in the midst of all of him.

I don’t know if I can.

I don’t know if I should.

I don’t know what… what is right and what is wrong anymore.

“Your secret’s safe with me, Ginger… uh… Ginevra. How, how is everything healing? Your neck
looks a lot better.”

She turns and gives him a better view of the area. It was much better than before. The burning
feeling of sandpaper against her throat had stopped two days ago. Now it was only a bit
uncomfortable to put weight on or sleep on that side. Which wasn’t a problem for her with her
current sleeping habits.

“Much better, Teddy. You are as good with your hands as you are with your mouth.” Every muscle
in her body tenses as the words leave her.

Oh, fuck me five ways to Sunday…

She watches the shocked expression take over his face as he coughs on his breath. She has to look
away at her utter horribleness. She can’t say stuff like that to him anymore. She has to pull back.
She has to.

This wasn’t right, right?

“Pinky promise?”

Her head shoots up to see him with that fit as bloody hell half-smile tugging on the side of his face
as he looks down at her hand and then to his.

Pinky promise, shit, that's a good one.

She can’t help the laugh that comes, and his smile grows. Of course he was joking about this. Of
course he would make this into something, something not as… intimate as it had been.

It was his specialty. To not realize the significance of his words and actions. That the things he said
and did that just seemed to come naturally to him with her were not normal.

She had only seen this kind of dedication, this kind of absent-minded vulnerability from one other
person in her life. And she had lost them. Lost them forever.

She wouldn’t go through that again. Not ever. Not for anyone.

No exceptions.

Once was enough.

“I promise Theo.”

She looks up at him one last time before turning and walking out.

And somehow, with every step, and every breath, she feels worse.

Worse, and worse, and worse, and worse.

She was falling deeper, and deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

What was she still clawing for, swimming for, pretending for?

She doesn’t hear his footsteps following her as she walks back to the meeting room. Ginny turns
the corner and sees Ron sliding out of Kingsley's office as he rubs the back of his neck. He was
requested all over the country, flaunting and peacocked around by Shacklebastard to every meeting
with organizations still on the fence to join in the cause.

The tosser was living for it. He was smiling, and talking, and walking with his head held high for
the first time in almost a year.

He was also sober, to her delight.

He still looked sweaty most of the time, and she knew it would be a long while before any of them
could put their guard down with him and the substance, but he was getting better. His sense of
humor was coming back, and he responded to people with a less sharp edge of anger. But now, he
was walking out of Kingsley's office. Just him. She doesn’t like that.

“What the hell are you doing, Ron?”

He looks up quickly with wide eyes and takes way too long to figure out how to answer her. He
was a horrible liar.

“I uh… I just had to go over a few things for the meeting.”

She scoffs. “The fuck you did. This is the fourth time I have seen you alone with that git. You
know we can’t trust him. You told me yourself months ago when everything started to change.
Why are you always whispering and sneaking off alone with him?”

Ron sneers at her and turns down the hallway towards the meeting room. “I don’t have to answer
to you, Gin.”
“Bloody hell you don’t. Ron, whatever you are up to, I can promise you if he is involved, it is
probably a bad idea.”

Her brother turns, and she isn’t able to react quick enough before running into him. He grabs her
arms to stop her from falling back on her arse in the hall. She blinks rapidly, trying to stop the
room from waving.

Ron searches between her eyes for a moment. “I’ll tell you as soon as you tell me what is going on
with you and Nott.”

She has to shake her head to make her eyes clear slightly. “Nothing is going on. Why would I be
back here if something was going on?”

He lets go of her arms and looks her over slowly. She is getting tired of people giving her that look.
“Uhhuh. Sure…”

He meets her eyes, and she stares back at him, trying to keep a steady and confident gaze. That is, if
he would stop moving and blurring.

She blinks a few times again, but her vision doesn't fix.

“Gin, what happened? Did they do something to you? Did Nott do something when he was healing
everyth…”

“Teddy did nothing to me, Ron, so stop that insane theory right this second. You already have too
many of those consuming your mental capacity.”

She pushes away and walks past him down the hallway.

Charlie looks up smiling, but she watches his face falter as he takes her in.

Merlin’s tits… Everyone starts getting concerned when the outside starts looking like shit, but no
one seems to care when the inside is dying.

She nods her head at her older brother and follows him into the meeting room. Most of the seats
are taken, and many discussions are taking place. She slides into one of the chairs closest to the
door and farthest away from the highest members, trying not to grab any attention.

As she sits, she notices the chair doesn’t release its normal puff of smelly dust.

That’s weird…

Her thoughts stop as the ferret, Hermione, and Teddy walk into the room. All eyes go straight to
Hermione. She hadn’t visited in person since they had discovered she was safe.

Everyone just stares, and the room goes silent.

Malfuck’s entire body tenses, and Ginny watches him pull Hermione closer to his chest while her
brother’s knuckles turn white as his hands ball into fists.

“Hermione!” Her mother is the first to stand and run at the girl. Crushing her into her body and
wrapping her arms around her like irons.

Hermione smiles slightly, and tentatively wraps her arms back around her mum, who is now
sobbing.

The ferret grunts in annoyance and rolls his eyes as more and more people join her mother. One
after the other assaulting her with their thoughts, emotions, and physical touch.

Ginny’s eyes move over to Teddy, who is all but pushing himself into the wall behind Hermione
and Malfoy to try and get away from all the people. His eyes are going everywhere. Bouncing from
a person, to a loud laugh, to the push of a chair, to someone accidentally shouldering into him.

He looks like he is about to explode.

“Teddy!” She yells his name to get his attention over the loud and boisterous welcoming
committee swarming Hermione.

His eyes shoot up and lock on hers. Begging for help. Begging for an escape.

She gets up and pushes through the people, making a small path between them and the wall, and
holds out her hand for him.

He doesn’t hesitate before taking it and letting her pull him into the small space, acting as a wall
between him and the people until they are back at the table and chairs.

“Shit, thanks. This is seriously my worst nightmare. Wouldn’t happen to have that cloak on you by
any chance?” He sits down and runs his four-fingered hand through his hair, pushing it out of his
eye.

She shakes her head and slumps down in her own seat.

The patterns on the place settings are moving again. Like they are wading on top of the water.
Bobbing up and down in a rhythmic motion.

“Ginevra…”

She blinks and looks over at him again to see his mouth wide open, staring down at his plate.

“What?”

He stares for a few moments before shaking his head “Nothing, sorry.”

“We will allow time at the end of the meeting to continue catching up with Ms. Granger, but as we
have a multitude of things to discuss, let us all find our seats and begin.”

Kingsley’s booming, authoritative voice has the crowds listening immediately and gives Hermione
and Malfoy a chance to take the seats available next to Teddy.

As the meeting starts, Ginevra feels her mind falling deeper and deeper into the murky and
muffled place. She was still here. Her body was still present, still seeing Kingsley talking,
watching others shake their heads and cut in with their input. Her eyes see Ron stand and start
recounting their end of the mission, but at the same time, she isn’t here. It feels like she is under the
surface, looking up at the sun and sky from below the depths and heaviness of the liquid.
Here but not.

Seeing but not.

Hearing but not at the same time.

She is sinking and sinking farther away from reality, farther away from her body…

“Gin and I had to re-route multiple times due to the unrecorded changes in patrols, curses, and
wards placed throughout the castle. We are under the belief that these measures are due to students
trying to escape before the end of term. On the way back to the meeting point, Ginny unknowingly
led us into an alcove on our route for plan F and was struck with the curse placed in the opening.
That was the only issue we ran into within the mission. And she has since made a full recovery, as
you can all see.”

She doesn’t look up at the eyes she knows all turn towards her at her brother’s words.

Full recovery…

Somewhere in that damn castle, my finger is probably being gnawed on by some rat.

What rubbish…

She hears a scoff from directly next to her and sees Teddy looking down at his hands in his lap.

At least he agreed with her.

The meeting continues on, and on, and on.

They make Malfoy re-hash their side of things. Hermione shares the snippets of conversation and
information she had heard from the Death Eaters during the presentation. Teddy says nothing, of
course. And Ginny doesn’t either.

Usually, she would. Her brother tended to exaggerate and emphasize areas that didn’t deem the
attention while missing or excluding larger key points.

But she doesn’t have it in her today. She can’t get herself closer to the surface, back into her body
enough to be that person at this moment.

“The fuck do you mean the next phase will have to wait until after the next spectacle?”

Oh damn it… this isn’t good.

Kingsley adjusts in his seat and lets out a sigh. “We do not have enough reinforcements to
confidently handle the Death Eater army after You Know Who is ended at this point due to lack of
funding and resources. We have to wait to make our move until we have the best likelihood of
winning. We cannot waste this one opportunity. We cannot be impatient and strike before we are
ready. Agreements with Russia and America will hopefully be complete within a month.”
Ginny sees Malfoy’s jaw clench as he sits up and glares at the man at the end of the table.

Kingsley was saying they would have to endure another spectacle. Play the parts they had to play
to give them more time. That had not been the plan. They were supposed to move forward with the
attack during this month’s spectacle.

“Easy for you to say. Sitting here in this cesspool. You have the fucking privilege to wait. We
don’t. She can’t go through another one. That was part of our deal, Kingsley.”

“Our deal Mr. Malfoy is that you are now Order operatives carrying out what is best for the cause.
Or is that not why you are helping us?”

Ginny looks up to see the two men challenging one another.

Malfoy clenches his jaw. “If you keep waiting, you will miss your one damn opportunity. There is
a multitude of things that could go wrong to take that away from you if you wait much longer.”

“Like what, Mr. Malfoy?” Kingsley sits back, and the room is silent for the ferret to continue.

“The Dark… You Know Who could accomplish what he has been striving for with Granger. He
could become furious with me for not successfully retrieving the missing memory, and take her
from me and place her back into the hands of those monsters. A whole fucking scouting unit, along
with one of the highest seated Death Eaters is now looking for Ginevra. They could find this place.
They could find her.”

Ginny squeezes her eyes shut.

She should care, right? The thought that she had been placed as the number one undesirable the
Ministry was now looking for was something she would have been twistedly proud about before.

But now, she feels nothing. Well, not nothing. She is always in pain. Always full of the sense of
dying. But that consumed all of her. There is no room to feel anything else with it.

It hurts so fucking much to love you, Harry.

She feels something placed in her lap and looks down to see a vial. She opens it and downs the
contents.

Hermione places a hand over Malfoy's fist. “Technically, even if you do lose me, or You Know
Who is successful, you would still be able to move forward with the next phase when prepared
without me. As long as Draco and Theo’s covers are kept, they will still be able…”

“We will talk about our compromises later, Granger.” Malfoy bites out the words between his
clenched teeth.

“This decision is not up to you, Mr. Malfoy. You will follow the orders given to you. Do you
understand?”

Malfoy never answers and never takes his eyes off Hermione next to him. Looking all over her,
planning, scheming. She sees it happening in his eyes. She used to think like that too.

Before Harry died.

She used to be a lot of things before his death destroyed her.

The pain, the large weight starts pulling her down, and down, and down. Below the surface again.

I miss you, Harry…

“If there is anything you need or would like assistance with the upcoming spectacle, we will gladly
provide it Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger, but as it stands, we have all agreed that the best step to take is
to wait until we have the reinforcements to overtake the army in one attack as much as possible.”

No one says anything.

For a very long time.

At least she thinks no one is saying anything.

She blinks.

Is it over then?

Thank fuck. The meeting is over.

She stands up out of her chair and walks quickly out of the room before the swarm of people
blocks the only exit. She leans against the wall as the floor sways under her feet.

She needs to get to her room. If she had space and time to be lost in this, in the memory of him, in
the depths of the murky nothingness, time would go by quicker, she would make it another day
without hurting anyone. Without cheapening what she and Harry had. Without being overwhelmed
with guilt and self-hatred.

I want to be numb. I want to be so, so deep that there is nothing else but the darkness.

“Ginevra, are you okay?”

She slumps her head into the wall she is leaning on.

“Just cheeky, Teddy.”

“Well listen, I too hated every fucking second of that meeting, but even I wouldn’t have the
bollocks to just get up and leave in the middle of Shacklebolt addressing me like you just did.”

Oh, fuck me sideways… Is that what I just did?

Yeah, more reason to disappear into my room for a while.

“I’m fine, Theo, just go.”

She needs him to go. She needs him to stop being… him.

Her foot falters as she tries to straighten, and she feels his hands wrap around her before she falls
backward. The back of her head presses in the cusp of his neck on his upper chest as she falls back
into him.

He smells like tobacco, parchment, comfort, and peace, all wrapped up into one.

Merlin Teddy, it would be so easy… It would be so easy if it wasn’t for Harry.

She feels herself leaning into him, savoring the feeling until his left hand squeezes her arm gently,
and she feels what is missing.

Feels what he did.

I wasn’t worth it, Teddy. I’m not.

I am a horrible, selfish, fucked up in every way imaginable woman.

And you… you are sweet, and kind, and caring, and funny, and… and everything that I am not.
Everything I can’t be anymore.

He took it with him when he died. He took the part of me that you want, I think.

She pushes out of him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You are the only person allowed to Ginevra; I told you that. No apologizing for stupid shit.”

The words hit her like a wave. “Fuck Teddy… just stop.”

“Stop what?”

She can hear him moving closer to her. She can’t turn around and look at him. Usually, he was the
one who struggled to make eye contact, but it was her turn now.

“Stop saying shit like that to me! You have to stop. I… I can’t hear things like that.”

“Why not?”

His words pull her to the surface. But it is raging, and angry, and wave after wave of pain crashes
into her, drowning her, making it impossible to breathe. She needs it to end. She needs out. She
needs to go back under where everything is quieter, and darker.
“Because I love him! I love Harry, Teddy!”

Her eyes start watering, and she shakes her head to try to stop them. No, tears didn’t help. They
never helped. This was pain with no cure. No solution.

“I know that, Ginevra. I know you love him. I’m sorry, I don’t want you to stop loving him. I’m
sorry if I made you feel like you had to.”

She growls and leans against the wall as one fucking relentless tear escapes and travels down her
face.

“Shit… Ginevra. I’m sorry, I’m sor- fuck, please don’t cry. I can’t make you cry again. Please,
please stop. I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone. I won’t… I won’t bother you anymore. Just can you,
can you please stop fucking crying?”

He needs to stop talking and saying the things he is saying for that to happen. She heard his voice
breaking and filling with nerves as he spoke. She is hurting him. Hurting him again, just like she
did anytime they were close. Just like Hermione warned her not to do. Just like she didn’t want to
do.

He is one of the most amazing people she has ever met, and she is breaking him.

I am such a bitch…

I need to get away from him.

I need to stop being near him, so I can’t hurt him anymore.

Not him.

Not Teddy.

She turns and runs with no regard for her balance, or the stairs, or the walls. She just runs, and runs
and runs.

Until she is closing the door of her room and falling to the floor.

The wails keep escaping her. Muffled and broken, and pleading for the waves to stop crushing her.
For them to give her a chance to breathe. To at least fucking cry comfortably.

They crush, and crush, crush, crush, cushcrushcrush.

And as she hears her throat burning again from the noises leaving her still healing throat, she lets it
crush her. Lets it all pull her under again. Taking everything with it.

……

Three days go by.

At least, that is her guess.

With no window in her room, it made it all a bit easier to detach and go deep.

The only general hint she has is the three different spreads on the tray outside her room she never
touches. That she tries not to notice on her way to the loo.

No one knocks.

No one cares.

Well… that wasn’t true. People cared; there was just nothing they could do, and they knew that.

Nothing was enough.

She isn’t enough anymore.

Death had taken too much.

She runs into no one as she takes a quick trip to the kitchen for a glass of water.

On her way back to her room, her foot doesn’t fall into a hole somehow.

Ginny doesn’t look to see how that was possible.

……

She was taken off of active duty due to being listed as the number one undesirable on the
Ministry’s list because Dolohov wanted her.

It was ironic.

Her mind goes back to her sixth year in school when Harry’s photograph moved above the number.
Just like hers is now.

Very ironic, she thinks.

So instead, she is forced to help her father with his paperwork and correspondence.

A fucking secretary.

She asked Neville to Avada her this morning, but for some reason, the git refused.

The warmth from the gloves is making the ink smear on some of the paperwork she is working on.
She pulls out her wand and casts a cooling charm to try and take care of the issue.

“So what do you think, Ginbug?”

She blinks and looks up at her father. “What?”

He plops down in the chair on the other side of the desk, and a heavy book falls in between them.

A photo album.
“Which section do you think that Theodore bloke would find most interesting?”

She blinks again.

The words her father is saying bring her closer to the surface than she has felt in a long time.

“I ask because he told me how much of a help you were with his collection. Did you see any
specific areas of interest or focus that he had? I would like to start our discussion today with
something that may appeal to his certain tastes.”

Well dad, he likes burnt chocolate more than breathing, cigarettes more than drinking, is a better
cook than mum, goes by a different swashbuckling name sometimes, laughs at inappropriate
things, has boundaries around himself and everything he cares about, only uses his full smile when
he is emotionally impacted which is rare, but I have made a few happen, knows more about healing
than anyone I know, and I hope he uses those skills after he survives all this shit, likes being close
to people but not touching them, except for me. He likes touching me. I am… was allowed to touch
him. Because I was the exception. I am his exception. I want him to be my exc…

She blinks again. “He likes a lot of things dad, I think anything you choose to talk about, he will be
interested in listening. He likes listening.”

Her father beams up at her and nods his head.

And she needs to disappear again.

She can’t be this close to the surface.

Not again.

Not without sleep.

Her head can’t take it.

She stands up and leaves the room, walking the path back to her four walls.

She opens the door but jerks back.

What the actual fuck?

Ginny pushes herself into the wall of the hallway, placing her gloved palms against the surface.

Her four walls.

Her four walls are… different.

Bigger.

Way bigger.
No tendrils of muck.

Now there is a window, no two windows.

She takes a step towards the opening to peer in.

There is a bed. A big four poster Victorian-style bed that looks fitting for a castle.

A desk.

A very familiar-looking chair she remembers calling fucking fantastic.

And an armoire.

Full of everything she had circled in the catalogs.

It is a room.

It is beautiful.

It… it is too much.

“No, no, no, no, no!”

She backpedals out of the gesture.

Away from him.

Away from a place that screams Teddy in every bloody corner. She had left weeks ago to get away
from him. She needed to get away from him, so he didn’t drown with her.

She is running.

She knows where.

She knows the mistake she is about to make.

I don’t fucking care. I need it.

She stops in the shadows of the stairs, pulls out her wand, and starts breaking, and breaking, and
breaking, as everything inside her feels like it is doing the same.

It takes a long time, but she doesn't care. All she has is time, while he has none. She doesn’t want
all this time. She wishes she could give him some, give him more, even it all out. Make it all make
sense again.

The last ward breaks.

She opens the door and shuts it quickly behind her, waving her wand to ward herself in.

And then she turns.

“Hi, Harry.”
He is the same. Well, of course he is the same. He is dead.

But he looks like him. Laying on the large bed, a blanket under his armpits with his arms resting at
his sides. He could be asleep. He looks asleep. Like the many mornings she would sneak into his
room to wake him at the Burrow. Stealing quick and hidden kisses before one of her many brothers
came ruining the moment.

But he is wearing his glasses. That is a difference. Harry never slept with his glasses on when he
was alive.

‘They are very pokey, Gin. You’ll have to get a little closer for me to see you well.’

A sob escapes her throat.

She accios the chair over to rest beside the bed and sits.

Ginny had lived in this room for probably 80% of the first two months after he died.

It didn’t feel real. None of it felt real. She didn’t feel real.

She still doesn’t.

Ginny reaches out and grabs his hand.

The preservation spells allow touch but no movement.

He is cold.

He was cold by the time they had apparated with Hagrid into the safe house.

She tries to wrap her hands around his to create an illusion of movement, of life, of connection, but
the spells don’t allow for it.

She looks down at his hands as she starts to cry. This was a safe place to cry, to not pretend to have
it all together. To be what she truly was, rather than everything she had to be. She could be weak
here because who the hell was witnessing anyways?

But then she sees the gloves.

My hand, and Harry’s hand, and Teddy’s finger…

She drops her left hand back into her lap, caressing him with only her right.

Her right is safe. Her right doesn’t make this even more wrong than it already is.

“I… I miss you, Harry. I miss you so much.”

She looks up to his face and reaches for his glasses. The spells allow them to be taken off his face.
With her right hand, she removes them.
They gathered dust and smudged somehow, even though they never moved and no one ever
touched them.

But she always cleaned them against her shirt.

He hated when his glasses got all smudgy. It would give him a headache.

She places them back over his ears.

“It’s been nine months today, you know? Nine months since you left me. Left me to deal with all
this by myself.”

She pushes his glasses up his nose into the two indents that had formed over the years.

“I… I am starting to forget what your eyes looked like. I mean, I know they were green, but, but
the vision of you with your eyes open is getting blurry. Along with everything else.”

And because another green-eyed man is confusing, and mixing, and taking up space in the
forefront…

She lets go of his hand at the thought.

“I wrote you a poem about your eyes once. I sent it to you. Anonymously thank fuck because it
was horrible. Truly absolute rubbish, but I still remember it.”

Ginny smiles at the memory of the stupid and innocent girl she used to be who had been awestruck
at the sight of the Harry Potter, and all the ridiculous things she ended up doing trying to get his
attention.

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard.

I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,

The hero who conquer…**”

She chokes on the sob.

Even that was tainted. Every memory was tainted, it seemed, in some way or another because the
noseless git had consumed their lives and childhoods. Took it all away. Every memory, moment,
and dream.

Gone.

Dead.

Laying on a bed in front of her.

“I… I don’t know if I ever told you it was from me, but better late than never, right?”

She smiles up at the dead man she loves.

He doesn’t smile back.

Of course not, Ginny… he has been dead for a very long time.

“We got Hermione back, Harry. She, well, she has so much she has to live with now, but she is
actually doing okay, and you want to know why?”

Ginny pulls her chair as close as she can to the bed, leans in further, and lowers her voice.

“Because she and the fucking ferret are in love. Don’t say anything to anyone, though, because I
don’t know if they have admitted those words to each other yet. But crazy, right? Seems like they
have had a budding relationship going since our school days. Did you ever see them having secret
meetings on that map of yours that is now mine? I took that too, by the way. I feel like you would
have told me if you did. He is still a prick, but he is really great with her, to my utter dismay. And
she is strong with him. I… I think she is going to be okay.”

She reaches out again with her right hand and places it over his.

“You’d be happy to hear Ron isn’t drinking anymore either. He is still angry. Really angry. But
even he is getting better too. We also had to go back to Hogwarts recently. Lost my fucking finger,
Harry. The whole thing. Just gone. I bet Mrs. Norris ate it, that bloody cat.”

Ginny laughs at her own joke. Imagining the ugly creature choking to death on her appendage. She
decides that is what had to have happened. That would make it worth it.

“But don’t worry, I’m alright, never better actually. Still have all five fingers even…”

Her voice trails for a moment as she looks back up at his face.

“I… I want to tell you about him. Because well, he gave me his finger Harry. His damn finger. And
it is rounder, and rougher just like yours were. His is tanner though. Making me pretty self-
conscious about my complexion, if I’m honest. I look like a bloody ghost with it right next to my
skin.”

Her right hand moves and takes off the gloves. She holds it out in front of Harry’s face.

“See? Well, no of course you don’t, but damn, it’s crazy, you know? That was a crazy thing to do.
And I shouldn’t like it. I shouldn’t like… I’ll stop talking about him. It is wrong for me to talk
about him to you, right? You are probably on the other side of the veil right now, holding your
head in between your knees, trying to get me to stop.”

She leans forward, places her arms over his chest, and lowers her head to look up at him.

“Don’t worry, I still love you, Harry. I love you, and break for you, and… ache for you with every
breath. But it hurts. It hurts so fucking much to love you now. Because you left me. You get to go
off and die and leave me here to carry… to carry all this for the both of us. And… I don’t think I
can keep carrying it the way I have been, Harry. I feel like I am drowning all the fucking time.”

She doesn’t know when she started to cry again, but she feels the blanket underneath her face
become wet with her tears.
“And… and he makes it easier. It’s like it isn’t as heavy with him. It is still there. My love for you
is always there, but the pain of it, the death of it, doesn’t hurt as much. You know? Fuck of course
you don’t. You don’t have to deal with all this shit. You get to be dead, while I get to keep
sinking.”

Before she knows what she is doing, she crawls up into the bed, curling around him.

Ginny, this is the most fucked up thing you have ever done…

“I… I think I could really fall for him if it wasn’t… wasn’t for you. And yeah, you should feel like
shit. If you hadn’t gone off and given everything to everyone else, we wouldn’t be lying here like
this right now. But you died, so you have to listen to my hell of a life that has to go on without you,
okay? Because you fucked me up, Harry. I am so fucked up; I honestly think I may be going
insane. I have to be, right? And I am such a bitch. I know you hate that word and when I say it, but
that’s what I am. He is so… so… unique in the best way possible, and sweet, and I keep hurting
him, Harry. I keep hurting him with my own hurt. With the hurt you left me with.”

Her nose starts running, and she sits up and wipes it on her sleeve, staring down at him. At the boy
she had loved even before she knew what love was.

“I hate you too. I love you and hate you so much at the same time. Because you got to leave, but I
didn’t. And now I am here alone in this love that is slowly killing me…” She chokes on her sobs
again as they start to come out uncontrolled and unhindered. “I can’t live like this. You own so
fucking much of me even in death that I can’t function, I can’t live, I can’t breathe! And be mad all
you want, but he makes it easier! And not in the way Dean does. Oh yeah, I shagged Dean a few
times. Don’t worry, you were way better, but with Teddy, it isn’t like that. But, but he isn’t you
either. And our love is still real to me, and I feel like I am betraying it by my thoughts and feelings
for…”

An uncontrollable cough starts spewing out of her. She raises her hands to cover her mouth, and her
eyes focus on the different finger touching her nose.

Teddy, Harry…

She collapses into the empty space on the bed next to him as she starts to lose control of her cries.
They grow in volume and in violence as they work through her body. Making her shake, and
goosebumps rise, and hacking happen.

I am losing it. I am finally losing it.

Maybe it is time to drown.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Depictions of self harm, and very disturbing images.

 Hermione
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The tent is back up.

It needs to be.

For Theo.

It had been sitting in the corner of the room, shrunk down for weeks, but with Ginny leaving,
something had to be done.

Not even burnt chocolate was working anymore.

But Hermione hopes that the tent will. The tent will bring back the half smiles, funny statements,
and caring kind man that she loves so much.

He had been gone for weeks.

Both literally and figuratively. He was usually at the safehouse when he didn’t have duties,
meetings, and leads as a Death Eater. Molly had told her that he was slowly transforming the house
in a way no one else thought possible.

Just what he had been able to do to the table in the meeting room was impressive. Who knew it
could be so beautiful underneath all the wear and tear.

That is Theo, bringing out the best in everything.

But he needed to stop trying to fix it all, by destroying himself. She had tried to talk to him about
why what he had done was worrisome to say the least. When he raised his wand, she never thought
he was about to sever his own finger off, until Draco yelled at him to stop, but it had been too late.
She sat there staring at the scene, not able to speak, not able to breathe or think clearly, as Theo
quickly stopped the bleeding, and temporarily covered it with gauze so he could focus on Ginny.
He never wavered. Never hesitated. Never stopped smiling as he placed his finger onto her hand.
She wasn’t the only one lost in shock. Even Draco stood there, not knowing what to do.

Hermione had finally snapped back after a few minutes and lost it. Honestly she has no idea all the
things she yelled at Theo that he continued to either ignore or roll his eyes at. Even Draco couldn’t
get him to see why what he had done was far from a normal response. It just showed how little
Theo thought of himself, how disposable he believes he is. Which he is not. He was the farthest
thing from someone who should ever view themselves like that. He had so much to offer. His
finger should not have been one of them though.

She lifts up the blanket flap, and places the pot inside.

He is asleep in the loft. His favorite place.

It allowed him to be included while also separated at the same time.

Theo came back right before Draco left to complete one of the two fake fuck rendezvous with
Carrow, and had looked at the tent, giving her a slight nod of appreciation before crawling in and
passing out.

She curls up in her and Draco’s blankets, and waits to see if he will wake up with the smell of the
drink wafting through the tent.

Please Theo… I miss you again.

It was like after he had been forced to beat her. But instead of putting distance between her and
him, he was putting distance between himself and everyone.

No jokes, no talking, no touching.

All he did was polish, and mend, and build, and fix.

Day in and day out.

Hermione curls up, pulling Draco’s pillow into her chest and face to breathe him in.

It was storming outside. A bad one. Since the first time she had a switch happen due to the thunder
and the lightning, Draco had placed a silencing charm around their room during the nighttime
when storms occurred. So she wouldn’t have to hear the thunder. So it wouldn’t set her off, and
make her switch. It worked to all of their delight.

She opens the large tome next to her and rests it against her bent knees. Ever since Dolohov shared
his theories on how to retrieve an obliviated memory, she had been doing her own research, along
with a few members of The Order.

Hermione had done a bit before she made the decision to obliviate both of her parents before 6th
year, hoping to find some way, or loophole to give them their true identities and lives back after
this was all over. Her search then had been unsuccessful, but it had also been extremely short, as
the need for horcrux research took precedence.

She wasn’t very hopeful they would be able to find an answer within the time constraints they had.

A loud popping sound echos in the room, making her jump.

“‘Mione! Mione!”

She sits up, and hears Theo take in a large gulp of air.

“Polish-then-protectioncharmonwoodingrainedsurface… fuck… What was that?”

“‘Mione please, I need to talk to you!”

Theo tosses his hair, trying to pull it back out of his eye.

“Shit, I told him not to floo anymore. I’ll deal with him.”
Hermione nods as she watches him slowly climb out of the loft, and crawl through the tent to the
area closest to the fireplace. Ron had apologized so many times she had lost count. Taking every
opportunity he had to remind her how sorry he was for… some of the things he said. Making it
obvious to her, he still held onto the idea that Draco was manipulating them all. It was infuriating.
She didn’t want to hold onto this anger towards him. She wishes he would accept reality. Maybe
they could be friends again. Maybe, if he apologized and changed the way he treated her and
others, and continued to stay sober, she could keep him in her life. But he hadn’t done that. Not yet
at least. So she had to keep her distance.

“Ronald I told you to stop calling weeks ago. She will talk to you when…”

“Listen Nott, this isn't about me and her. It’s about Ginny. Tell her it’s about Ginny.”

Damn it, this can’t be good.

She is already crawling out of the tent as Ron is speaking. Ginny wasn’t okay. Ever since the
meeting over a week ago, she had continued to go downhill. Her eyes were always glazed and
seemed far away. She never changed her clothes or ate any of the food Theo left for her. She was
stumbling and off balance all the time. It was scary.

Hermione had tried to help, tried to be there for her, but she never answered her knocks, she refused
to come and visit, and seemed to be interacting with no one. It was like she wanted to fall apart, and
no one could stop her.

“What’s going on Ron?”

She sits down next to a pale Theo in front of the floating head.

“She… She hasn’t been the same since she came back.” He shoots an accusatory look towards
Theo before looking back to her. “And sometime yesterday, she broke through the wards to… his
room. It has been months since she has gone in there. But she’s in there now, and won’t come out.
And if she stays in there much longer, Kingsley is going to find out, and she is going to be in some
serious shit if he does.”

Theo’s head drops, as Hermione raises to her feet.

“Okay, I’m leaving now. Be at the ward line to pull us through.”

Ron nods quickly before the green smoke circles and combusts.

“Us?”

Hermione waves her wand, and makes the tent shrink back into the corner of the room, and moves
to the closet to change.

“Yes Theo us.”

“Hermione, I think I should stay. She doesn't want to see or talk to me anymore. I’ll just make
things worse.”

She throws on a sweater, and grabs her shoes. Hermione knows that wasn’t true. She knows Ginny
well enough to know that she was pushing them all away due to the guilt and shame she was
feeling. Just like Theo had pushed her away for almost a month due to believing he was a monster.
It wasn’t about Theo exactly. It was about Ginny, and everything going on inside of her that
seemed to be consuming her in the worst way.

“Theo, I haven’t apparated in almost a year. I don’t really trust myself to do it just yet. I need your
help in getting there and back.”

And I think you really help her Theo, and I think that scares her.

She walks out of the closet as he accios his robes and pulls them on.

“Okay I’ll go, I don’t want you being alone outside with it storming anyways.”

Hermione stops in the hallway towards the door. She hadn’t thought about that. The last time she
had been out in this weather…

‘Do you want to become an outdoor pet?’

‘Only allowed in the house when I want you?’

‘Make you beg for it just so you can come back in?’

Her hands are trembling at her sides. She is about to go out in a storm. In the rain. With the thunder
and lightning and…

“I’ll place a silencing charm around you, and a shield charm. You won’t feel or hear any of it
Hermione. Okay?”

Theo comes before her and looks her right in the eyes. Something he was now able to do once
more. He had been with her the first time she had a reaction to a storm, to the memories that
overwhelmed her in the setting. He knew. He knew how bad it could get.

Theo casts an assortment of spells over her, and also one towards the door. The world around her
goes completely silent as he turns around and gives her a thumbs up to follow. She keeps close to
him, watching his face and his mouth move slightly as she hears him count step after step. They
move quickly, but as they reach the front door, she freezes.

A lightning flash lights up the glass panels of the door. A door very similar to the one off of the
porch where she had been left out in this weather. The door that had been opened to allow him
access to use her while also keeping most of her out in the weather until he was satisfied and shut it
behind her again.

I… I don’t know if I can do this.

She hadn’t had a switch in a very long time. The other her hadn’t been sliding into her mind very
often at all anymore. Not since Ron had left about a month ago.

She still had the nightmares every night, but the potions she took each day seemed to make them
easier to work through and fall back asleep.

Everything had been getting better. But a storm. Being out in a storm, terrifies her. She was okay
with this being a fork for her. It was something she didn’t want to work through and endure. It
could stay something she never experienced again. She was willing to give this up.

“Hey Hermione… How… how about you close your eyes and… I’ll lead you out okay? Would
that help?”

She opens the eyes she hadn’t realized she had closed. She couldn’t let him do that. Touch her
again.

“No, no Theo. I cannot make you do that. I’ll… I just need a minute…”

“It’s okay Hermione. Here.”

Theo moves his right hand into the space between them. She stares down at it for a few seconds
before taking a deep breath, and reaching for him.

She cups her hand around his, while he leaves his loose, basically letting her wrap herself around it.

He stares down at their hands for a while before finally moving his fingers around hers. But instead
of pulling, he starts shaking their hands up and down.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance Hermione.”

Her heart jumps into her chest as he gives her a half smile. At the memory he was playing off of.
Was this a fresh start? We’re they starting over again?

“The pleasure is mine, Theo.”

I love you Theo. I love you so much.

He nods his head, and stops shaking their hands, pulling her outside.

“Close your eyes. I got you.”

She listens to him immediately. Rather than Draco, there was no one else in the world she trusted
more than Theo.

“Last time I ended up naked on top of you, you know.”

She hears his laugh and she smiles at the authenticity within it.

“Shit you did, didn’t you? Let’s not have a repeat okay? Because no offense, but I have no desire to
see any of that ever again.”

She grins, and feels the ground underneath her feet give in the way that only would happen with
heavy rainfall. But she doesn’t feel the rain against her skin and face. She doesn’t hear the thunder
that makes her bones shake. She doesn’t experience any of it.

I am safe.

I am so safe.

Theo never lets go of her hand, nor falters as they make their way outside the wards to apparate. He
warns her beforehand, and she holds onto his hand tighter as he transports them to the safehouse.

It is raining here as well. Storming worse.

As they land, a loud crack of thunder shakes the ground, and she falls to her knees before Theo
places the spells around her again.

Hermione opens her eyes slightly to see Ron walking towards them and glaring at Theo. Not
understanding the situation, and of course assuming the worst.

“Storms bother me Ron. Horribly. He placed charms around me so I don’t hear or feel any of it.
Let’s get inside okay?”

She reaches up for someone to help her, and instead of Theo grabbing her hand, this time, Ron is
the one to reach out and help her up. He pulls them through the wards and keeps hold of her hand
as the walk. Once they are in the house, Theo drops the spells around her, and instead casts ones
around the walls to make it impossible to hear the storm outside.

“Have you said anything to her?”

Ron keeps pulling her through the dark and empty house. Looking around every corner before
continuing to walk. Head bobbing left and right.

“I tried but, it’s bad Hermione. It hasn’t been like this since the first couple of weeks after
everything. Come on, I gotta get you in before anyone sees.”

They walk quickly down the hallways to the stairs, and back behind them to a hallway she had
never noticed before.

“Confusion charms. That’s why you haven’t ever noticed it until now. Once we are in, I have to
place them again before someone else notices.”

She nods her head as they go down the lightless hallway towards the one door at the end. Ron
stops and stares at it for a moment before turning towards her. His eyes travel between her own.

He looks good. A lot better than he had since she had first seen him again. Ginny told them how he
had been sober since coming back, and how she created a cycle of people to watch him to ensure
he would stay that way. It looks to be working really well. He looks like Ron again.

“He… He’s in there Hermione. His body is. I haven’t really gone in since they put him there. I
don’t like seeing it at all. But, but I think I should go with you. If… you are okay with that.”

Her eyes are watering as they look back at him.

She was about to see Harry. Harry dead. Harry… Gone.

For the first time.

It was all going to be real. Not just words.

Her hands start to shake and her head starts to hurt. Ron steps forward again.

“I know you haven’t forgiven me and I get that. I know this isn’t you forgiving me okay? I just… it
was us. It was always the three of us. It should be the three of us for this I think.”

The Golden Trio. That is what they had been. That is what they used to be. It was the three of
them. Always the three of them for so long. For most of her life and the most important moments.
There was always her, Ron, and Harry.

And while yes her and Ron had a long ways to go before their friendship was mended… He was
right. It should be him.

She nods her head as a tear travels down her face. “I am still furious with you, and no I have not
forgiven you because you have yet to really do anything to show me you deserve that forgiveness
Ron. But I can put that aside for now, for Harry.”

He almost smiles back at her.

“Give me a sec to place the spells.”

He walks behind her and she turns to Theo who is leaning against the wall looking down at his
shoes. He is blaming himself. He had been blaming himself. It was hard to know how to talk to
him. How to express how angry she was at what he had done, while also trying to ensure that he
understood it was because he meant so much to her that she was angry in the first place. Draco had
explained in not so eloquent of words how Ginny had left not because she was mad, but because
what he had done was very shocking and deserved time to be processed. Hermione is positive Theo
still wasn’t understanding.

“This isn’t because of you Theo.”

“Yes it is Hermione. Here.”

He pulls out a couple vials from the inside of his pocket.

“One for you, and Ronald, and one for her if she will take it.”

She takes them out of his hands and swallows one for herself.

“You should come in as well. You really do help…”

“No. No I am not going in there. That…” His voice breaks, and he looks up at the door at the end
of the hallway. “That is her room. Their room. I will not encroach on that.”

He looks back down to the ground as Ron comes up next to her, and takes her hand again.

“Ready?”

No. Never. I could never be ready to see him like this.

She shakes her head and hands him the vial. He doesn’t take it.

They walk towards the door together. She needs to be strong. Not just for herself, but for Ginny.
For what she is going through, and what she is facing and failing at dealing with on her own.

She needs to be the girl who had known what to do during the battle. The one who knew to get
Harry away, and to wipe her memory.

I am still her. I am still her after everything. I am strong. I can be strong for Ginny.

Ron opens the door, and leads her into the room.

It is dark, with a single source of light coming from a small table next to the only large piece of
furniture in the room.

A bed.

A chair is pulled up next to it, but as Ron leads her to the foot of the bed, she sees that it is empty.

But the bed isn’t.

Because there is Harry.

And… Ginny.

Oh no.

Hermione can’t breathe as she sees her best friend laying on his back, eyes closed, looking so much
alive that it makes her stomach twist.

He looks the same. Out of all of them in this room, he is the only one that looks the same. And he
is the dead one.

She has to swallow the bile as she takes in Ginny, fast asleep, curled around Harry’s side. Her right
hand is over him, and resting on top of his chest, while her left hand cups the side of her face.

Oh my gods… Ginny…

Harry…

The girl is hurting, hurting in a way that Hermione doesn’t relate to. No one they knew could relate
to what she is going through. How complex it all must be to try to live with and make sense of.
“Blimey hell… it looks like…”

“Like he’s asleep.”

Ron and Hermione stand at the foot of the bed looking at the other part of them.

The last memory she has of Harry is in the clothes he is in now. She remembers hugging them both
before leaving for Hogwarts, knowing full well that it could be the last time. Taking in both of
them and trying to hold on so tight that maybe, maybe it all could be proven unreal, a nightmare.
Not something they had to do, or give, or go through.

“This… This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

She shakes her head in agreement. No it wasn’t. The tale should have ended with good triumphing
over evil. Of the noble hero winning. That is how all the stories ended right? That is what she used
to believe. Not anymore.

She feels Ron’s hand start to shake in hers.

“Ya know, fuck it, give me the vial.”

She hands it over to him, and he downs it.

She doesn’t take her eyes off of the bed.

“We need to make sure this wasn’t all for nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

She means everything. They needed to make everything that they had done, given, mean
something. They had to win. They had to fight. Because if not, then… then.

“What we did. What he gave up. He needs to know it wasn’t all for nothing. That we won.”

She feels Ron’s hand come up and wipe the tear out of her eye, and she turns and wraps her arms
around him. He does the same, and they both begin to cry.

She knows she is being foolish. His death, all of their deaths, would never be worth it. Even
winning wouldn’t justify or bring them back.

It would never change the weight of their loss still carried by the living.

But Harry had fought for this war to end. That is what he gave his life for.

They needed to end it.

“He is with his parents now. He finally got to meet them.”

Hermione begins to sob at Ron’s words, and cries harder into his shoulder. “Yeah.”

“And I bet he is still cheering us on. Rolling his eyes at some of our choices. Making fun of my
beard because he is jealous he could never grow one. And probably ready to cross the veil to hex
me for how I treated you… again.”

She smiles into his shoulder, and pulls away to look at him. His face is wet as well from his own
tears as he stares at their best friend behind them.
“Well he should. You have been awful.”

“Yeah I have. Worse than 6th year.”

“And 1st year. If it wasn’t for him we probably would have never became friends.”

Ron turns his gaze to hers as his expression changes to one of hurt. He opens his mouth to say
something, but stops and averts his eyes.

“I would have come around Hermione. Even without Harry, I wouldn’t have survived without
you.”

They both look at each other, and she feels his hands around her waist squeeze her sides.

She wants to hate him. She is still mad at him. The grudge for what he had said to her was very
much still in place, but it was nice. This moment. She could allow this reprieve of peace. For the
both of them. For this hard moment. They could be the Golden Trio again.

“I think you should go so I can…”

She tilts her head to his sister still asleep in the bed. Ron takes his hands off of her waist and nods
his head.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes. I’ll be fine. She needs me Ron. Wait in the hall with Theo. And be kind to him please.”

The warmth on Ron’s face dissipates as his expression becomes hardened again, but he doesn’t say
anything or disagree. He simply turns and walks out of the room, leaving the door slightly open.

Hermione closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath before turning, and walking over to the edge of
the bed.

Gin… I am so so sorry…

She reaches up with her hand, and lightly nudges the redhead until she sees her eyelids crease, and
her body flinches at the gesture.

Ginny slowly blinks a few times before looking to Harry, and then up at her. It takes her a few
moments to register Hermione above her before she turns her head farther and nuzzles her face
deep into the mattress.

“Go Hermione.”

“I can’t do that Gin.”

She sits down on the edge of the bed, and caresses her friend's arm back and forth.

The ginger doesn’t respond, and Hermione doesn’t push, but also doesn’t stop showing that she is
there. This was a fragile moment and situation. She can feel it in the air around her friend. How
close she is to losing all the things going on inside her.
Please Ginny, you are fierce. A fighter. You can do this.

“I am right here. I will always be right here Ginny. Whatever you need for support. To make this
all easier. I will do it.”

“Nothing makes this easier, Hermione. Nothing is ever enough.”

Hermione moves her hand from her arm to her friend's back, and slowly rubs it up and down. Over
and over and over again. She looks over the ginger’s shoulder half expecting her to be asleep, but
sees her eyes staring at the man she loves next to her.

“I told you I was fucked up.”

“We are all fucked up Gin. You sleep in a bed with your dead boyfriend. I put towels up over every
mirror and sleep on the floor. Ron comes up with crazy ideas to stay in denial. Draco occludes
everything away. And Theo can’t use forks.”

“Yours are all different.”

Her hand moves up to take her red hair off of her neck, and to rub that area.

“What do you mean?”

“Yours are all horrible, and because of abuse. Mine… Mine is grief, and love, what is killing me is
my love for him.” Ginny takes her arm off of Harry, and pulls it closer to her face. “Why wasn’t
love enough?”

Hermione’s hand on her back stops. “It may not be enough sometimes, but it is still everything.”

Ginny scoffs, and sits up all the way in front of Hermione.

“Yeah everything. Including the worst of everything. Everything includes the bad. And trust me
Hermione, love leads to a lot of fucking bad. A lot of pain. Especially when you are left to carry
love by yourself.”

She starts rubbing at her chest. It is already covered in what looks like a very painful rash, with
some spots even bleeding. She must have been doing it a lot lately.

“I am so sorry Ginny. Harry did love you. He loved you so much. I am sure if it is possible, he
took your love with him.”

“Well he didn’t take enough because this is still too fucking heavy.” She presses against her chest
harder as she is speaking, making her wince with her final word.

“I’ll help you carry it. How can I help you?”

Ginny scoffs again, and shakes her head as she lowers her hand to hold her other. It starts caressing
the finger that looks different than the rest as she looks through Hermione.

She watches the red head’s fingers move up and down as her mind goes elsewhere. Some of this
was because of Ginny’s feelings for Theo. Hermione knows that. She had seen first hand the two
of them growing closer over the past month. She saw Ginny look lighter, Theo smile fully. But
then, he had given her a part of him to carry, and somehow Hermione thinks it all became too
much for her friend. As she said, too heavy.

“I love Harry, Hermione. I will always love Harry.”

Ginny looks down at her hands, and stops her fingers moving up and down on her pinky. She says
the words a bit accusatory and defensive. Like she is protecting something.

“You don’t have to prove your love for him is real with the rest of your life Gin. Everyone knows
and believes you love him.”

“Even if I…”

Her friend’s voice breaks and she looks away, back over to the man next to them. It was a hard
place to go for Hermione. To try and understand everything Ginny was battling, and to respond and
be there for her in a way that helps and not hurts. She doesn’t want to hurt her. The red head was
doing too good of a job at that herself. To add onto it would probably be a breaking point.

But she was blaming herself, putting expectations, and rules, and walls up that no one else would
ever ask her to do. And that included Harry. He would never want her to hurt for the rest of her life.
To be alone. He would want her to find happiness again.

“Yes Gin. Even… even if you are drawn to someone else. You can still love him. It doesn’t have to
take anything away from what you and Harry had.”

“I don’t… it doesn’t feel like there is any room Hermione. The pain and hurt, it… it consumes
me.”

Hermione reaches forward, and takes both of her hands into her own.

“You have room Ginny. I have seen it. I have seen the room that is made inside you when you let
someone else help carry this with you.”

Her friend falls forward as a broken sob comes out of her mouth, and buries her face into her
shoulder.

“He… he helps… he does… but, but it also hurts worse. It makes me hurt and feel worse. And I
don’t know how to make sense of it all.”

Hermione lets go of her hands, and wraps them around her friend. Pulling her in tighter as her
crying increases.

“Give yourself all the time you need Gin. I won’t pretend that I understand everything you are
trying to make sense of, but I know the struggle of working through things that should have never
happened. That you wish would never have happened. And I am not the only one. Trying to figure
out a way to live with all the broken pieces of you, and others that we all carry. But give yourself
some grace please Gin. Please stop destroying yourself because you think you deserve it. Or
because that is the only way to prove to yourself that your love for Harry is real. Because no one
else is asking or wanting you to do that. Because we all love you, and need you, and are here to
help you in whatever way you want.”

Her friend's sobs get louder, and she hears movement behind her. Hermione looks over her
shoulder to see both Ron and Theo standing in the doorway. Ron walks in towards the bed while
Theo takes a step back and stays.
“Gin we will all carry Harry with us. We all will okay? For forever. But it is time to let go of this
room.” Her brother comes over to sit beside them and tentatively places his hand on her shoulder.
“It is time to let go of this area of him. You aren’t supposed to hold onto this. He wouldn’t want
you to.”

Hermione gives Ron an encouraging look. He was starting to be the old Ron again. Without the
alcohol and the fuming uncontrollable anger, she can see her old best friend starting to appear
through the cracks.

“Okay.”

She feels the weak words against her skin before her friend raises her face, and wipes the tears
from her eyes and cheeks.

Ginny pulls herself together a bit before looking over to Harry, and leaning down to kiss him on the
cheek. “I’ll see you again when we place you where you belong. I promise.”

She raises up, and without looking at her or Ron scooches off the bed and stands up. They both
follow her, but Hermione stops and looks back at her friend.

We all miss you so much…

“We are still with you Harry, no matter what happens.”**

“And you are with us.”

She turns and smiles at Ron who is staring at the bed as well before she follows him out of the
room. Ginny is standing in the hallway looking down at Theo who is sitting leaning against the
wall staring at the floor.

“You’re here.”

He doesn’t look up, but slowly rises, and starts moving towards the end of the hallway. “Yeah
sorry, I.. I’ll go. I…”

“But you didn’t come in.”

He stops and looks back in her direction. “No.”

“Why?”

Theo runs his hand over his face and into his hair.

“Because, Because you needed to be with him. And… I never want to intrude on you and him.”

Hermione watches something in Ginny’s face change as Theo is speaking.

Please see it Gin. Please let yourself see it. He doesn’t need you to stop loving Harry. He doesn’t.
“Well thanks Teddy. And thanks for my room.”

Theo doesn’t look up at her, but nods his head in acknowledgment. Ginny walks down towards the
end of the hallway, but stops and turns back towards him.

“What are you making for breakfast in a couple hours?”

His head shoots up, and inspects her face for some trap before he speaks.

“Uhh… Whatever you want.”

Hermione hears Ginny let out a soft laugh.

“You and your words. How about eggs?”

Theo nods his head.

“Okay eggs it is. And you are going to eat them this time? Because Hermione’s kneazle has gained
so much weight it waddles due to Draco feeding it what you don’t eat.”

Ginny laughs and lifts up her left hand, extending her one different gloved finger at him.

“Pinky promise Teddy.”

This time, Theo laughs and shakes his head as he moves to walk after her. Ron and Hermione
follow behind.

“What the bloody hell was all…”

“Oh hush Ronald. This is a good moment. Don’t ruin it.”

She glares at him as he looks ahead between his sister and Theo. It was very obvious Ron had still
not watched the memories, or maybe he had but didn’t believe in their validity. Because he still
didn’t trust Theo, which means he must still hate Draco.

“Hmmph well wait up by the stairs before you go. I have to re-ward the hallway.”

Hermione agrees and follows after the two ahead of her.

Ginny holds out her arm to have them both stop, and looks around the corner to make sure no one
was there, before she walks out and they follow.

“I’ll go grab the tray. I’ll be right back.”

Ginny takes the stairs slowly, holding on to the secure railing the whole way up before turning out
of view.

Theo leans against the wall opposite Hermione, letting out a large yawn.

“The stairs look nice Theo.”

“Thanks.”

“So now that you have her room finished, will you be done with your renovations?”

Theo scoffs and looks at the area surrounding them.

“Fuck no. This place still deserves the name cesspool. Do you know how many polishing potions
and disinfectant charms I had to use on that damn table alone? I’m probably going to be making
this shithouse livable for the rest of my sorry life.”

And you would, wouldn’t you Theo? You would keep trying to fix this place, if she is here…

She smiles and leans up against the bottom post.

The sound of a door shutting behind them has them both turning at the noise.

Then another door.

Then voices.

Frantic voices.

Saying, and whispering hurriedly.

Something is happening.

As Hermione finishes her thought, lights start traveling down the hallway and shadows appear
moving across the walls and combining together.

She walks towards them to meet Arthur, Minerva, and Aberforth at the opening of the hallway.

“Ms. Granger. What brings you here at such an hour?” Minerva’s words are directed to her, but her
mind and eyes are not. They are focusing on something else. Something that has made her face
pale and her hands wring together.

“Ginny was having a rough night. We came to be with her. What… What is going on?”

“Meeting room, now.”

She turns at the booming voice as Kingsley comes into view with the other Order members who
stay in the safehouse. They all listen quickly and walk down to the room and take their seats. Theo
sits next to her and takes a potion out of his pocket, and swallows the contents. Ron takes the one
to her right.

Something has happened. Something big. And Draco isn’t here. What if he isn’t safe? What if
something happened at the barracks with Blaise and Pansy and Daphne? What if…

“Amycus Carrow is dead.”

Oh.

well great, is that all?

“Shit…”

She looks over at Theo whose curse travels into the completely silent room.

He squeezes his eyes shut, and looks down at his hands.

“It was just made public knowledge due to a student finding his body, and word traveling through
the school quickly before they could shut it down. It has been confirmed to be true.”

Hermione just stares at Kingsley. So Amycus was dead.

Good .

One monster down then…

“We have yet to be blamed for his death, and were not responsible for it. The exact cause is still a
mystery.”

She wonders if one of his fellow Death Eater’s had done him in. He was always so loud, and
scheming, and making enemies left and right by betraying trusts and allegiances. She knew
Dolohov couldn’t stand him, and that the feeling was held by most of the other high ranking Death
Eaters. A number of them could have done it. And if he died in Hogwarts like Kingsley is saying,
there is no way The Order had any part in it with how impossible it was to get into the school.

“There will be consequences to this event for us though, no matter what the truth is.”

Kingsleys eyes meet hers and it finally clicks.

Damn it… The spectacle.

“He will more than likely take it out, and make it clear his thoughts and feelings through the use of
you within the memory of the spectacle Ms. Granger.”

Hermione hears the chair next to her creek as Theo re-adjusts in his seat. Kingsley is right. She
knows it.

How do we get out of this one?

“There are a few options we need to discuss and they…”

“The wards are going off!” Everyone turns as Dean runs into the room repeating the words over
and over again. “They, they went off. We have been compromised.”

All the people start standing as Kingsley rises, and pulls out his wand.

“Everyone knows what to do.”

People start moving to the door. While others start to surround her and Ginny who sits next to
Theo.

“Follow procedure, and get Ms. Granger and Ms. Weasley to the…”

“No no! Stop!” Neville comes running into the room, and stands in the doorway. He is out of
breath, and waving his arms at the group ready to defend. “Don’t, don’t false alarm, it was just…”

Neville’s body launches into the wall before anyone knows what is happening. Hermione stands,
watching Neville smack against the surface, and fall to the ground. But then she feels an intense
pressure grab hold of her arms and swing her around.

“Thank fuck!”

She registers his soaking platinum blonde hair for a second before his face collides with hers, and
his arms press her hard into his wet body. His mouth marks hers more than kisses. She feels his
arms shaking around her as his one hand grabs the back of her head and holds her lips against his.

He is panicking. He had been panicking. Because… shit, he probably came back to the rooms to
find them empty and had thought the worst. Thought she was gone. Probably convinced himself
Dolohov had taken her.

Damn it Hermione, you should have left a note.

She reaches up to his face as he kisses her, and pulls him back gently. His eyes are open, manic,
moving all over her.

“I’m okay. I’m okay Draco. I’m so sorry. We should have left a note. Ginny needed me and I…”

He cuts her off by kissing her again, this time a bit gentler. She lets him for as long as he needs.
Feeling her stomach turn as his lips tremble against hers as he continues to press them together.
Knowing that the pain and panic he must have been feeling could have been avoided if she would
have just left a note, but he was the better one at doing that.

“Oh for fuck’s sakes stop already!”

His mouth freezes on hers as Ron’s anger-filled voice breaks the moment he must have been lost
in. He pulls away, but keeps both of his hands on the sides of her face, looking all over her, too
entrapped in his thoughts and fears to even acknowledge the people surrounding them.

Damn… I just snogged Draco Malfoy in front of everyone.

“I’m so sorry Draco. I’m so so sorry. But I’m okay, we are both okay.”

“Thank you for the dramatic entrance Mr. Malfoy, but while yes Ms. Granger’s is fine, we do have
some precarious situations on our hands. If everyone would return to their seats.”

She raises her hands to cup his and taps.

REAL

She watches him take in a deep breath as he closes his eyes for a few moments before nodding, and
sitting down. Hermione moves to let go of his hand, and sit next to him, when she is pulled into
him, falling onto his lap.

“Draco no not during a…”

“Just stay… please just, just touch me.”

He whispers the words into her hair, and she can hear his voice breaking slightly.

The room was crowded anyways. Not enough chairs for everyone who had made their way into the
room.

His hands grab her waist and hold on tightly, fearing she would disagree and get up. Instead she
nods her head and relaxes, lowering her hand to his again.

When she looks up, most of the people are staring at them in either bewilderment, amusement, or
anger.

Glare all you want, he needs me. I don’t care about anything else.

“As I was saying, with the death of Amycus Carrow…” She feels the hands on her upper thighs
flinch slightly. “…being confirmed, we need to discuss the possible ripple effects. The most
pressing matter being the upcoming spectacle in three days.”

All the eyes once again turn to her.

When they had first made contact with The Order, the plan was to attack during the next spectacle,
but apparently the high ranking members had decided to postpone the attack until they had
complete confidence of their capabilities of handling the remaining members of You Know Who’s
army. To ensure the larger picture could be taken care of. That the people who could create
another movement wouldn’t have the chance. That they would be dealt with by the Wizengamot.
Which looked to be accomplished by next months spectacle.

Making them endure another horrible event.

She knows Draco had been furious ever since Kingsley had told them of the change after the
Hogwarts presentation. Becoming obsessed with trying to talk the man out of waiting. Creating
spreadsheets and forms to show why the precaution was not necessary.
Kingsley wouldn’t budge, and while her heart ached to not have to endure another spectacle, and
the possibility of something going horribly wrong, the cause was much more important than her
one life, no matter what Draco said.

Her father always told her that she would change the world, and many people continued that
prophecy and perspective throughout her years in Hogwarts. And she wanted to change the world.
She did. But she had no idea that this is what it would cost her to do it. That changing the world,
meant destroying herself and so many others in the process.

It shouldn’t be like this.

“We agree with Mr. Nott’s assessment that whatever the Dark Lord is trying to do with you is not
working due to you having your magic once more.”

Hermione nods at Kingsley’s words, and looks over to Theo to see him glaring at the man in the
chair with her.

Why is Theo mad at Draco?

“So we can assume that the ritual will once again not work. With that failure, along with this death,
You Know Who will be very dangerous.”

Draco scoffs from behind her.

She squeezes his hands, knowing full well how the man knew first hand how dangerous the evil
wizard could be when angry.

“Move the attack up like I advised. There is no need to question your ability to overpower the
Death Eater forces. There is no camaraderie, no chain of leadership. After the Dark Lord is gone,
many will scramble and kill anyone in the way. They will destroy themselves before anyone gains
enough power to structure them again before you are able to place them in Azkaban.”

“That is not an option Mr. Malfoy.”

“Then what are our options?”

The room goes silent at Draco’s words for a while.

Options.

She stares down at the top of the beautifully polished table trying to come up with a solution. She
sees the reflections of some of her former classmates all turning their gazes to her.

I used to always have the answers.

Some whispers begin from the older members, all bouncing ideas off of one another as she
continues to stare ahead.
What are the best options?

That wouldn’t hurt the cause, but also would lead to the least amount of pain for all of them.

If possible.

What a fine line to keep making choices on.

The unmistakable best option would be for her to find a cure to the obliviate, and gain back her
memory, and occlude the parts with Harry away. That way they could give something to the evil
wizard without giving him the damning information.

But even she realized that it was highly unlikely with only having three days.

They didn’t have enough time for that to be an option.

But maybe…

Maybe they could do exactly that, but not really at the same time.

Maybe they could make it seem like…

“What if we gave You Know Who what he wanted, without it being real?”

The whispering around her stops.

“Elaborate if you would Ms. Granger.”

“What if…”

She squeezes Draco’s hands between hers.

He is not going to like this.

“What if we made it seem like Draco is successfully retrieving the memory, but actually isn’t. He
could create a false memory of a small part of the battle and plant it into my mind for You Know
Who to watch. To make it seem like he is getting my memory back.” The hands she is holding go
limp as she speaks. “That may give us the best form of protection.”

Kingsley is nodding his head.

“That Ms. Granger, may just work.”

“Fuck no.”/“Fuck no!”

All eyes turn again, but this time, they are looking at Draco and Ron who had both said the same
thing at the same time.

And seem to be ill from the event.

“It would continue to provide her… safety with you Mr. Malfoy.” Kingsley offers.

“I am not violating her mind. That is hers and hers alone.”

Hermione hears a scoff from her right and glares at Ron.

“Oh fuck off ferret, we all know you have been in her mind already.”

“That was to teach me occlumency Ron! Not to distort my mind!”

Ron turns to face her. His anger that had dissipated without the help of alcohol coming to the
surface. “No offense Hermione, but how would you know?”

She is fighting not to launch herself at the man next to her, but Draco’s hands hold her tight against
him as he speaks. “Implanted and created memories leave traces, a fog of less depth around them.
The Dark Lord could feel it. Sense it and question it.”

She sees a couple people around the table nod their heads in agreement with Draco. He isn’t
wrong, but she had already thought about that. She turns to face him to see his silver eyes flashing
at her, once again begging her to stop.

“And no one has ever seen a memory come back after being obliviated. I am sure a different feel to
the memory could be easily explained as a side effect of the process.”

The hands on her upper thighs press harder, as he clenches his jaw.

“He would want to know how Granger. He would want me to do it again, teach others how to…”

“By the end of next month that will no longer be a problem Mr. Malfoy. And you have had Ms.
Granger for longer than that. Supposedly working to bring it back the entire time correct?”
Kingsley pauses, wanting Draco to agree in some way. He does not. He does nothing, but continue
to stare at her. “So explain the process as extremely strenuous, taking months, if not years to get
results depending on the complexity and depth of the obliviate. I have full faith in your ability Mr.
Malfoy to manipulate a situation to your benefit.”

Okay what the hell is that supposed to mean?

She turns around to face Kingsley. Draco had been telling her since the beginning that The Order
would not look at them the same way she did. That they would treat them as outsiders, people not
to be trusted. Even though they were placing the entire fucking war onto their shoulders.

“Slandering him is not needed Kingsley. None of us would have this opportunity if it wasn’t for
him. A little gratitude and respect would be appreciated.”

Kingsley blinks at her outburst, apparently not expecting it.

“I did not mean it as slander Ms. Granger I assure you. It was more a… testament to his abilities
that have kept him alive. A skill set I believe in well enough to place your safety within.”

Those words sounded wrong. How he said them, formed them, structured them always seemed
wrong. Like he was against lying, but also didn’t want to tell the truth.
“I will not agree. So unless you have another person at your disposal who is a legilimens and has
the ability to create memories, I suggest we move on to other choices.”

“Such as…?”,

Hermione looks around the room to see no one else offering anything other than what she had. This
idea kept her with Draco, kept him in the Dark Lords' good graces, took something away from
Dolohov, and would possibly save them both from the wrath of the evil wizard.

The only thing it asked for was another piece of her and Draco. Violating her mind in that way
would hurt him as well, probably more than her. She would have to force him again. And she was
getting really tired of doing that. He had been forced to do enough.

“Well, I agree.” The hands on her jerk as she speaks. “As long as I have a clear understanding
that… that the memory is not mine, that I can occlude away and hold onto the truth, then I agree.”

The man under her shoots to his feet. She launches into the edge of the table, and is forced to stand
as well. His hand is wrapped around her arm, and rights her against his chest.

“We are through here.” The words are said through clenched teeth as he turns, and pulls her along
with him. She looks to Theo for some semblance of support to see him standing and staring down
at the floor, ready to follow.

“Draco…”

“Not here.”

They are punctuated and clipped as they leave his mouth. They exit the room and walk down the
hallway. He is moving so quickly she basically has to run to keep up with him. He is angry. Angry
probably for a lot of reasons. A lot of valid reasons. And even though poking her dragon was one
of her favorite games, this was not a time for games.

“I’d move quicker if I were you. Shackelbastard is furious. I’ll pull you through the wards come
on.”

Ginny runs in front of them and out of the safehouse. Neither of the men to her sides say a word,
but she can feel the tension between them all.

As they approach the wards, Ginny grabs Draco with her right and flinches slightly before
decidedly grabbing Theo’s hand with her left, and pulling them through.

“Alright, I’ll have an ear out, and keep you guys updated through the floo when I can. Let me
know via the galleons we used for the mission if you need to talk, and I’ll find a way.”

Draco doesn’t respond as he pulls her into him, readying to apparate them back to the manor.

“Thanks ginge… Ginevra.”

Theo nods his head in her direction, and Ginny smirks.

“Oh come off it Teddy. We both know it’s ginger snap.”

She winks at him before running back to the safe house. Hermione feels the tug in her stomach and
the ground disappears from under her as Draco apparates them behind the large stone. It is no
longer raining, and his hands around her keep her upright and out of the mud.
 She is about to pull away, and try to dissuade the anger she feels radiating from the man wrapped
around her.

She opens her mouth, ready to apologize, and assure, and start working together to get them out of
this mess, to…

“You fucking prick! This is all your fault!”

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - References to sexual abuse.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

My fault.

My fault.

Always all my fucking fault.

He keeps hold of Granger, and starts walking towards the manor. He can’t talk. He can’t think
clearly as his fury continues to consume him.

At Kingsley,

At the Weasel,

At Amycus,

At Granger,

But most importantly, at himself.

Because Theo is right, this was all his fault. None of this would be happening if it wasn’t for him.

His body is still coming down from the fear it had been consumed by when he walked in to find
the rooms empty of both Theo and Granger. Thinking the worst as he ran from room to room
screaming their names, finding no one, seeing nothing of any worth taken except for them. Draco
had ran out the door and back past the wards ready to apparate to Dolohov’s red brick house,
convincing himself that he had taken her. He had to have her.

“What are you talking about Theo?”

Don’t you fucking dare Nott. Don’t say another word in front of her.

He stops and turns around to glare at his brother, who is already staring back at him. Granger is
next to him looking between the two.

“Draco, what did you do?”

“What I promised I would, unlike you.”

He turns and keeps walking up to Theo’s rooms.

He had thankfully paused before taking off to the sociopaths house, thinking of less horrible
reasons Granger would leave the rooms, and in such a hurry that they hadn’t let him know or left
him a message.
The Weaselette came to his mind. Red had been in a state of shit for weeks. Maybe it had gotten
worse.

He decided as his entire body shook, and his eyes began to water to go to the safehouse first.

Thank fuck he did or he more than likely would have made an even bigger mess than he already
has.

Draco opens the doors to Theo’s room and as soon as they are shut, he grabs Granger and pulls her
into him again.

I need to touch you… You are safe.

You are safe.

I need to prove to myself you are safe.

Even though I am so fucking mad at you Granger.

He buries his face into her hair and breathes her in. He is both overwhelmingly relieved while also
furious with her. For not thinking of what it would be like for him to come back to her gone. For
not taking the moment it would have taken to leave him some information about what was going
on. But most importantly, he is raging over the fact that she once a fucking gain volunteered her
safety for the damn cause.

“I’m sorry Draco. I am so sorry. I should have left a note…”

Her words break the moment, and let his fury take over instead of his concern. He unleashes her
from his arms. She thinks he is a mess just because of her leaving? He feels like he is losing his
fucking mind because she had betrayed him in that meeting. Betrayed working with him to keep
her safe.

“You lied to me Granger! You said we were a team, and you just fucking ambushed me. That is
what you should be apologizing for.”

Her worried face shifts into something different. More annoyed, or edged.

“We are still a team Draco, we will work through this together. It’ll work I…”

“Are you seriously saying she should be apologizing right now Draco?! That she should be owning
up to something she did? Are you fucking kidding me!?”

He looks up and makes eye contact with his brother. Theo is pissed. He didn’t get pissed very
easily. Draco can only think of a few times he had seen him look this angry in his entire life.

“No more secrets Draco! I am so fucking sick of holding all your secrets. No more! Especially after
this. Tell her what you did even though I told you not to! Even though I warned you it was a shitty
idea! Tell her!”

Apparently Draco wasn’t the only one with their emotions at the surface.

Granger looks from Theo to him and takes a step back. “Tell me what secret Draco? What did you
do?”

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers as his head continues to
pound.

3 days.

3 more fucking days is all the cock had to live and none of this would be their reality.

He had been trying to check in on the man as inconspicuously as he could, but he wasn’t showing
up to any scout meetings, and his cunt of a sister wasn’t talking about him either.

The poison he had placed in the cock’s drink the night of the presentation wasn’t precise on a
timeline. He hadn’t thought it to be a particularly important aspect either. If he died the slow and
painful death the poison caused before or after they had killed the Dark Lord, didn't matter. It was
already in his system. Until Kingsley had announced after the fact that the plan to kill the Dark
Lord would be pushed to the following month's spectacle rather than the one approaching.

Meaning they would have to go through another one. Meaning if anything happened to a high
seated fucking Death Eater, it would be taken out on Granger like it had before.

This was all the twat Kingsleys fault.

No it isn’t. It is on you.

Her pain is always on you.

“Draco…”

He can’t get around this. The brilliant witch won’t let him.

“I killed him.”

He doesn’t open his eyes or look down at her. She was a bloody noble Gryffindor. Part of the
Golden Trio, and fighting for the light. One of the faces of the cause for morality, for love
conquering all, for saving lives not ending them.

And while she had agreed, commented, and went along with his candor on killing the bastards. He
sometimes doubted the woman had it in her to actually do it. To actually end a life. Just like Theo.
So he would do it for them. If he was going to be ending lives, he may as well add some names
that he actually wanted to see dead. People who actually deserved it.

Maybe that would help him with everything he has had to do. Evening it out.

What a fucking twisted way of thinking Draco…

“How?”
“Yeah great question Hermione. Because I didn’t help you with that potion, and I know you
haven’t had the time to make it. So how? And when?”

He knew asking Theo to help was a mistake. As soon as his mate had told him no to killing his
monster of a father, he knew he couldn’t use Theo in that way. Make him be involved in any way
with death and pain inflicted on anyone.

“Poison. Through the same market I bought the Polyjuice. In his drink the night of the
presentation.”

The room is silent after he speaks. He takes the moment to try and rebuild his walls so he could
help them think clearly. To come up with some damn solution to the overwhelming amount of
problems they are now facing because of him.

“Why?”

The question comes from Granger. How and why. The only two words she has said since learning
what he did. And they are dull, short, emotionless. Not giving him a hint to what the woman was
thinking.

“Because I had to Granger. I had to kill one of them. I had… I had to do something, something I
wanted to do. That was my choice."

He did.

It felt like his magic was calling to him to do it. Itching him closer to ending them anytime he was
near them.

He wanted to see them die.

End.

And if he would have waited, would have let the cock be until after they defeated the Dark Lord,
fucking Shacklebolt was making it very clear that no killing curses would be used by the Disorder.
A hardline they had drawn in the sand a long time ago that had served them nothing but trouble.

That would mean the men who had raped his girl would end up in Azkaban. In prison. Breathing
many more breaths. Waking up many more mornings.

No.

No.

That couldn’t happen.

They deserved worse.

And when the time came during that final fucking spectacle, he had big plans for Dolohov, and had
to focus on him. Not the other rapists. He had to deal with them first.

“This is just great! Bloody fucking hell what are we going to do? You know Kingsley is right.
They are going to take it out on her if we don’t provide him with something he wants. Damn it
Draco, she is going to pay for this! Was it worth it you prick?"

He expected angry responses. But he hadn’t expected to be hearing them all from Theo. He opens
his eyes and dares himself to look down at his witch in front of him. She is looking at his chest.
Well, more like she is looking through his chest. Her eyes are moving back and forth as she is deep
in thought. Thinking more than any of them in the room. Putting all the pieces together that are not
being said.

“Of course it wasn’t worth it Nott! If I would have known we would have to go through another
normal spectacle before attacking I would have never done anything! If the Disorder would
fucking listen to me, someone who knows the inner workings of the Death Eater army better than
any of their contacts, none of this would even be fucking happening.”

“No, none of this would be happening if you would have listened to me Draco! But you aren’t
thinking clearly are you? Trying to rationalize stupid shit that is impossible to make sense of.
What, you think killing one bad person after killing one good evens it out? That this is all okay
because…”

“Theo stop.”

The man shuts his mouth immediately and closes his eyes leaning against the door. Draco turns his
attention back to Granger.

“You killed him.”

He gulps before nodding his head at her. She is still staring at his chest. Color is starting to appear
on her cheeks and chest as her mind continues to move rapidly.

They all stand in silence for a while. Giving her time to work through whatever she was working
through.

Draco’s stomach begins to sink and sink as her eyes continue to stare through him. She was about
to launch at him. Any minute now, her fire was going to be aimed at him again, and like fucking
always he deserved it.

I told you I would be your ruin.

“You killed him for me.”

“Of course I did Granger.”

Another long stretch of silence.

And Draco just stands there waiting for her to explode.

“I… I should be agreeing with Theo. I do agree with Theo.” Draco lowers his head to look at the
floor. He knows what Theo is saying is right, but honestly, he doesn’t fucking care. He doesn’t feel
bad. He is glad the man is dead. The man who had hurt his woman. Who had taken advantage of
her. Called her horrible things. Talked about one of the darkest moments of her life like it was
nothing. But Draco had ended it all. The terror the man was inflicting. He deserved to die, and he
wouldn’t lose a single moment of sleep over his actions. But the ripple effects of that action…
Yeah those sucked. Those are the problem. “But…”

The woman stops talking and Draco’s eyes shoot up to hers at the change in meaning brought on
by that one word.
But.

She agreed but.

But what?

“But what Granger?”

He can see it in her eyes. A battle is taking place. The battle that she had fought within herself for
years. Two parts of her never in agreement as she liked to say.

“You agree with Theo that I shouldn’t have killed the man who had raped you, who hurt you, who
was undoubtedly hurting others and would continue to if he would have been left to live, but
what?”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly. Asking him not to push her. Wanting to stay in
this comfortable little lie of hers once more.

No fucking way Granger. Show me all of you.

He moves the few steps to bring them back together, and grabs the sides of her face to raise it to
his.

“Show me Hermione. Do it! Tell me exactly what it does to you, what it truly makes that brilliant,
beautiful, and twistedly perfect mind of yours think, to hear that I killed for you. That I will do it
again. That I want, need to do it. But what?”

“But I am glad you did it! Okay!”

Merlin you incredible witch. You keep getting better and better.

She screams the words at him with her eyes still closed. She takes a few deep breaths in as she lets
the words change everything once more. Her words always seemed to have the power to do that.
Everything about her had the power to change anything.

“I am glad he is dead. I’m sorry Theo, but I am. I… I am happy someone is dead… Damn it that
isn’t okay. Who the fuck am I!?”

She is back tracking. Trying to keep an unrealistic and untrue viewpoint of herself intact. She had
always been ruthless, and cunning. The sorting hat struggled placing her for a reason for fucks
sakes.

He remembers seeing her walk up, as he made some horrible comment to the bloke next to him
about the hat not being able to fit on her head due to her bushy, he-couldn’t-keep-his-eyes-off-it
hair. She had looked over to the snake table and made eye contact with him for a brief moment
before looking away over to the table of lions as she awaited her sorting. Draco remembers having
a tug of excitement in his lower abdomen at the prospect of her being his house mate. That would
be fun.

Finally someone who could keep up with him. Give it back in a way she had demonstrated on the
train. An altercation that had consumed his mind ever since he slammed that door in her face, and
felt the adrenaline course through him.

He had recognized what she was from the age of 11. Even before she did.

“You are the girl who physically attacked me in 3rd year.” She doesn’t open her eyes or stop
shaking her head as he grips the sides of her face harder. “You are the girl who put a powerful
reporter in a jar as a bug because you were mad about something she wrote about you. Who set
Snape on fire in fucking first year. Who led Umbridge out into that forest knowing what would
happen. You have always been her. Let yourself be her.”

Her eyes stay closed for a long time.

Come on, Come on Granger. I told you before, your darkness doesn’t scare me.

“I am happy to hear he is no longer breathing. And the fact that you would…” He watches her eyes
open and meet his. Her gold is there, shimmering, and sparking. “Anyone will do the right things
for someone. But you will do the wrong things for me.”

He lets out the breath he had been holding and lowers his forehead to meet hers. His amazing
fucking woman.

“Yes I will. I will do every wrong thing imaginable for you. I will do it all so you can stay golden.”

He moves and captures her lips with his own. She kisses him back and wraps her arms around him,
deepening it further.

I didn't think you could be more perfect.

“Then do this wrong thing for me.”

His lips stop moving against hers. He knows what she means. She wants him to agree to her fucked
up plan. To place a false memory in her mind.

“No Granger.”

He pulls away and moves to the other side of the room. This was another thing he was not strong
enough to do. He couldn’t. He had already been forced to do way too many things to his beautiful
woman, he couldn’t add that violation to his already way too long list of actions against her.

“Draco, I will know it isn’t real. I will know. It will keep me with you. It will hurt Dolohov. It will
keep you in his good graces. It is the best and safest option.”
“No Granger… I can do wrong things for you, but I can’t do them to you.”

She tries to move forward and graze his arm, but he steps back. His body is still shaking from all
the stress it had been put through. All the horrible choices in front of him once again.

Now he had to choose between doing nothing to her, but more than likely placing her in harms way
by his inaction. Or violating her mind, and hopefully keeping her as safe as possible.

Why do my choices always fucking suck?

“Draco…”

He feels her hand against his arm, and jerks away again.

“I am sick of always having to hurt you to save you. I am tired of being the one in this position as
your perpetrator. I have been stuck in this cycle of impossible choices for too fucking long Granger.
Don’t ask me to do this. Please stop asking me to do things to you that I can never take back.”

His eyes are closed as he tries to build his walls, to make himself cold and detached. But it was
getting harder to do that with present issues he faced. He had noticed he had a harder time locking
them down and controlling them lately.

He had to really concentrate, like he used to have to do in 5th and 6th year, to build walls strong
enough when he was being taught by Snape. When he was trying to protect everything from
Bellatrix.

Draco remembers the day he had seen his crazy aunt for the first time in Little Hangelton, freshly
escaped from Azkaban. His father had brought him along to start his initiation process into the
Death Eater army. Luckily, he had started the occlumency process with Snape earlier in the year,
after it became very clear to him his father’s intentions for his future. And the type of people he
would be surrounded with. All people who wanted his witch dead. All people who would do and
hold anything against each other.

He had to keep her safe, even in his own head.

Snape had been reluctant, but one look into Draco's mind had made the man, who never seemed to
show any emotion rather than a constant sneer, eyes grow wide and his mouth part slightly before
he blinked and gained control over himself once more. Draco knew it must have been a shock, how
much the bushy haired brunette was in his mind.

Snape nodded sharply once. “I see.”

Draco stood up from the chair he was sitting in.

“So you will help me? You will help me learn how to keep her safe?”

Snape stood, eyes focused on his hands folded over one another before him.

“You have called her a Mudblood more times than anyone else Draco.”

Draco gulped loudly and looked down. “I… I know professor. I know I did. And I know there is no
excuse for it, but I was confused, and angry, and, and lost. I am never calling her that word again. I
already made that promise to myself. And I plan to apologize and tell…”

“You will do no such thing.”

“What?”

Snape stood up quickly and walked in front of him so Draco had to look up to meet his eyes. The
words he said were angry, with an edge of brutality that Draco didn’t understand.

“You must know that she will never reciprocate. Not after using that word.”

He felt the air being taken from his lungs as he nodded his head in confirmation. He knew Snape
was right. He knew he didn’t have a chance of ever being anything more to her.

“Your goal is to keep her from harm's way correct?”

“Yes professor.”

“Then keep being cruel. Be cruel, and hateful, and everything you were raised to be to people like
her Mr. Malfoy. And maybe find another witch to consume your thoughts with. That is how you
keep her safe.”

Draco thought he was joking. He had to be. Snape had just seen her. Seen the thoughts, and
memories. He knew how much the girl had become to him. How much it tore him apart thinking of
all the times he was horrible to her because of his own confusion and guilt. He couldn’t add to it.

“I, I don’t want to hurt her professor. You know that, and that will hurt her.”

“You calling her a Mudblood and being cruel will not hurt her, she expects it from you, as many
others do as well.” The words had hit and pierced him in the chest. “But you caring about her.
Allowing these… feelings to grow and become something hard to control. That will hurt her Mr.
Malfoy. Your affection for her is one of the most dangerous things you could do to the girl.”

“Well, I just can’t shut them off! Trust me, I have tried ever since first year! I know caring about
her is dangerous. That is why I need your help. I need you to teach me how to protect her.”

Snape stared at him for another long minute. His face not showing a hint of what he was thinking.

“Very well Mr. Malfoy we will start lessons tomorrow, once a week. In my classroom. Come
alone. Speak of this to no one.”

Draco exhaled loudly.

“Thank you professor.”

“But continue to play the part you have successfully been playing with her for years. The only
thing worse than you caring for her, would be she caring for you.”

Draco had agreed and left the classroom feeling better than he had in weeks, ever since the Dark
Lord had returned and started to become active.

Months went by and Draco improved quickly with the skill. Sorting and building walls around her,
Theo, and his mother. Snape wasn’t able to tear them down within two months. And couldn’t even
spot the walls after four. He had never mentioned to anyone these lessons except for Theo, who he
was secretly teaching the skill to.
Draco had lied to Snape about one thing though. He hadn’t been as cruel as he used to be to
Granger. He couldn’t. He decided avoiding her would be enough. Acting like she didn’t exist
would work. Shagging Pansy regularly would keep his mind on another witch. That would be
enough. That was enough.

He could still count her freckles, and clean and put her mugs on the desk with a note because no
one knew about those things.

He could imagine Pansy was her, even though it made him a bit sick at the beginning. But after
accidentally saying Granger’s name in the middle of the act, and seeing Pansy’s face light up
instead of fall (The girl apparently had a bit of a role playing kink), and swearing her to secrecy, it
started to become a normal occurrence.

The year continued on that way, and his mind wasn’t put to an actual test until the following
months when his father was imprisoned, and the Dark Lord moved into his family home with his
crazy aunt later joining him. That is when he had been tested, and had failed her miserably. His
aunt was not able to break or notice all of his walls, but she had seen some things when she added
the third Crucio as she violated his mind. Things he did not want her to see.

Granger specifically.

Luckily it had been a memory from early years where his hatred for himself and the cage he had
been placed in were projected onto her. Along with lust, and fixation. Later that year, after he had
been forced to take the Dark Mark, and the impossible assignment, his mother had contacted Snape
as protection, and Draco had begged him to continue their lessons, and to increase their intensity.
He obliged.

It became both better and worse once he was back in school.

Better because his sadistic aunt was no where near him any longer. Worse because she was.

Granger seemed to be fucking everywhere. He blamed her when he really could only blame
himself. Even though he knew it was the worst thing he could do to her, he couldn’t stay away.
Needing to be close to her, talk to her, work on projects together with her, do prefect rounds with
her. Anything and anyway he could be near her, and make it seem like less than it was, he did it.

For himself. To feel something other than the fear of death and failure, and pain looming over him
at all times.

It had all been giving him enough of a reprieve until Snape had come storming in, robes flying all
around him to their weekly occlumency and legilimency lesson.

“You foolish, foolish boy!"

Before Draco could speak, Snape whacked him hard on the back of the head and spun looking
furious at him.

“Fuck! Ouch! What did I…”

“The amortentia you idiot! Slughorn shared with me how that lesson went today.”

Draco scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. What the hell had he done wrong during the
amortentia lesson? He had lied through his teeth without hesitation that his potion smelled like
expensive perfume, a crisp fall breeze, and leather. Not lavender, vanilla, and fire. What had he
done wrong?
“I lied! I said shit the complete opposite of her. I don’t understand why…”

“Mint Draco! She said mint!”

Draco gave his professor an even more puzzled look. Yeah he knew Granger had said mowed grass
(Whatever the hell that was), new parchment, and mint. But why was the man yelling at him?

The man smacks him hard again.

“Shit! Stop hitting me!”

“I will stop when you prove to me that there is something of worth actually in that head of yours. I
warned you to keep your distance, to be cruel, and keep up the role around her. And what do you
do? You rig the partner projects. Yes I know. And switch prefect schedules to be with her. And
who knows what else.”

Fuck.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. I’ll stop all of it I can…”

“Do you want to see the Dark Lord kill her? Find her body cold and lifeless on the floor? Because
of you? Because of something as ridiculous as feelings uncontrolled?”

Draco took a step back at the unbridled anger over the man's face, pointed all at him.

“Of course not! That is the last fucking thing I want! That is the reason I came to you in the first
place!”

“Then listen to me! Be cruel! Call her a Mudblood. Tell her how horrible her hair is. Speak ill of
her friends. Make her not care! Keep her behind those walls and never let her come out. Never lose
yourself in them. She will pay the consequences for your failures.”

“Oh fuck off Severus! You and I both know I will be dead by the end of this year, and she will be
safe from me and…”

The man moves so close to him, Draco has to step back from their noses touching.

“Do not base her life on assumptions of your own. That is reckless. That will guarantee you both
are killed.”

Draco stared up into the man's eyes that seared into him. Taken aback by his behavior.

After a moment Snape seemed to catch himself, and step back before taking a deep breath in and
looking up.

“You are surrounded by some of the most conniving, untrustworthy, driven monsters I have ever
seen Draco. If you do not learn to play the same game, you risk both of your lives.”

He closed his eyes at all the horrible images that came into his mind that proved how right Severus
was. Remembering the pain of being cruiciod while also having his mind slashed and torn apart.
Seeing the Dark Lord walking through the halls where he used to run and play with Theo. Feeling
the blinding pain of the Dark Mark being branded into his arm. Hearing all of the horrible things
said about Granger after her run in with Death Eaters at the Ministry last year where she had been
hit by a curse.

“Okay. You are right. I will be distant, and stay away. And if I have to be near her… I will be what
I need to be.”

The man crossed his arms over his chest and looked him over. Draco knew he was right. He knew
he had been stupid lately. Giving in to his desires to just be near her. He convinced himself it was
harmless because once he was dead, so was the risk. Because he didn’t believe he would survive.
So he instead, decided to indulge.

He had followed Severus’s guidance after that, at least for a while. He stopped taking Pansy’s
scheduled rounds with her. He stopped trying to find her, and have small moments of conversation
and banter as she walked from one location to the next.

He occluded so deep that he honestly wouldn’t remember much of the next few months. It was
nothing but the Vanishing Cabinet, trying to kill Dumbledore from afar, and his impending death
and failure that could result in his mother's death.

That was everything.

He walked around interacting less than the ghosts of the castle. Granger had tried to rile him. She
tried to get him to put down some walls, but he never acknowledged her.

He didn't let himself crack in the slightest.

Until the gorgeous girl snuck in to the infirmary after the Chosen Git cursed the fuck out of him.

He had been up, staring at the ceiling, counting his breaths, wondering how many more he had
until they would stop for good, when he heard the door opening.

He expected Theo who had been in earlier with what he claimed to be better quality potions to help
with his healing.

It was not Theo.

It was her.

And he couldn't stop the walls from crumbling at the site of her. At her worried expression and the
concern written all over her face.

For him.

She was concerned for him.

Why the hell would she be concerned for him?

“Malfoy?"

His body reacted immediately at the sight of her. Warming, and breaking so much with just a blink
as he watched her take in the bandages across his chest. She looked up into his eyes, and he almost
fucking smiled at her before realizing what he was about to do, and stopped himself.

He needed her to leave. If anyone saw her here with him, alone, with that beautiful face of hers
looking down at him like she was...

They would both be fucked.

He mourned what he did as he did it. Reinforcing his walls and placing her behind them once
again. Blinking and coming back as less. Coming back as what he had to be to keep her safe.
“Granger, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be off congratulating Potter?”

“Why would I ever congratulate Harry on hurting you?”

He kept looking at the space just above her head, as he tried to figure out what to say to that. He
honestly should have probably said nothing. Went silent. But fuck he missed her. Missed just being
near her.

“Why wouldn’t you? I deserve it. We both know that. You more than anyone know that.”

I’m sorry Granger. I did deserve this. I deserve all of this for what I put you through.

“You don’t deserve this Malfoy, even you. Whatever is going on with you this year, you don’t
deserve it.”

His walls shook at her words. He had to look away from her, back up at the ceiling to keep himself
together. She thought something was going on with him? What did she think? What did she know?

She couldn’t know anything. She couldn’t suspect any of the things he had been burdened with this
year. Because the infuriating woman would place her nose where it didn’t belong.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Granger.”

“Oh I think I do, remember, Brightest Witch of Our Age and all.”

Then she had the audacity to fucking smile at him. At him. Why would she ever smile at him of all
people? Why would she come and check on him?

“Let, let me help you. We can help you.”

Please, I need it. I need someone to help me. Please help me Granger.

But he was beyond help. Too far in it now to turn back. He didn’t have the choice to take any help,
not that anyone offered until her. He was trapped. Had no control. Couldn’t do a fucking thing
about it.

He felt a smile, crawling slowly across his face at the darkly ironic fucked up shit of a life he lived.

“Leave Granger.”

I can’t let you help me. Of course the only person to offer to help me is you.

“Okay I will, but Malfoy I know you aren’t okay. I know something is going on. Just, don’t be
alone in this.”
She turned away and didn’t look back thankfully. Because if she would have, she would have seen
his barriers break as he stared at the back of her head as she left. She would have seen his hand
move to his covered mark. She would have seen the longing, the lie this all was.

But she didn’t turn around. She kept walking, and shut the door.

Draco cracks his neck at the memories. He was always the one to hurt her. Still, he was the same
person as he had been in the infirmary, trying to protect her by pushing her away. Trying to keep
her away from the war in the only ways he could.

Draco pushes into the emotions, and choices, and moments and starts separating them. Putting
them in their designated places. But as his mind clears, it feels different.

That is why I struggle to do this.

Because after it is all taken away, what is left isn’t what it used to be.

It isn’t quite tempid, cold, it is… something else.

“I never will hold it against you Draco. I don’t want to ask you to do this either, but, but I don’t see
another option.”

"Why…" The words come out broken, and weak, the exact way he is feeling as he turns to meet
those golden fiery eyes. "Why do we keep having to hurt each other. What if… after all this…
there is nothing of what we could have been left?"

All I have ever wanted to do was care for you.

Why can't I just take care of you?

He feels her warm hands cupping his face. Her thumb gently moves over his cheek and he feels the
muscles in his face relax at the gesture.

"You will always be enough for me Draco. No matter what is left. We are a team."

He falls forward until his forehead meets hers. Pressing hard against it. He wanted to believe her.
He wanted to have the hope she had. But it was hard to believe it for more than a moment after
everything he had witnessed and done.

“We could try to keep finding a way to bring back the memory.” Draco opens his eyes and looks to
Theo who is walking past them, without meeting either of their gazes. Still pissed. “We will spend
the next three days entirely focusing on that. But if we can’t figure it out, then… I agree with
Hermione. It is the best option we have after what you did. It’ll keep her the safest Draco.”

Great, now they are ganging up on him.

Fuck, why hadn’t the bastard lived another 3 measly days?

“I’ll get the books from your room, and meet you in the library.”

Theo walks by them. This wasn’t even a real plan. They are doing this to appease him. To try and
calm him down. There is no way they could figure out an issue with the obliviate curse within
three fucking days. Not even they could do that. Not even Granger. And she knows it. Theo knows
it. They are stalling, trying to get him to a place where he could do what she is asking him to do.

Her hand wraps around his, and he swallows loudly as she pulls him down the hallway. Not saying
a word. Giving him space to get himself back together.

He obediently sits in the chair as she pulls him down. He opens his eyes when he feels her weight
press on top of him, to see her looking straight back into his eyes.

Why Granger?

Why do we always have to hurt each other?

“I need you Draco. Don’t leave me okay?”

She bends down and lightly grazes her lips against his. She has no idea how impossible her request
is for him. How what she is asking him to do, makes another part of him disappear, become
something else.

He hears a groan from behind them, and Granger pulls away to look over his head.

“I’m sorry Theo.”

The man she addressed dumps a large stack of books onto the table, and takes the chair across from
them.

“Don’t worry about it. Third fucking wheel in my own house again is just cheeky.”

Theo pulls out a pack of cigarettes and takes one before throwing the pack over to them.

“No, I meant, I am sorry about our outlooks being different, over what… Draco did. Because I do
understand why you feel the way you do, and I respect that, but…”

“And I respect yours, Hermione. They are your monsters. You deal with them how you want.”
Theo lights the cigarette, and takes a long drag before exhaling in front of him. His shoulders and
body that had looked so tense ever since they had apparated back to his manor visibly slump as he
sucks in the addictive nicotine again. “I think we should look into blood magic again. If Dolodick
is right, and he needs Ginevra’s blood, that may work. I don’t know too many rituals that actually
have the need for the entire body’s worth of blood.”

He pulls out a book from the middle of the stack, as Granger raises off of his lap and takes the
chair next to him.

He is about to grab a book himself when a searing, burning, familiar sensation starts in his left
forearm.
No.

Nonononononononono

Fuck no.

He hisses, and pulls back his left arm, wrapping it with his right. The feeling only increases.

“Wha…”/“Shit are you kidding me?”

He is being summoned.

The Dark Lord is requesting him.

Now.

With his walls barely in place over everything that had just transpired.

“My mark. He wants me. Now.”

He grinds the words out as he stands up and accio’s his robes.

The searing flame increases every second he takes without going.

“Now?! Why? What for? Where do you…”

“I don’t know Granger but I have to go before this fucking kills me.”

He pulls on his robes halfway as he runs to the door. The pain from his arm is consuming him and
not helping with keeping his walls steady.

He needs it to stop.

He needs to get past the wards to apparate to wherever the Dark Lord is summoning him.

For whatever reason.

He has his hands on the door, before he is yanked around, and her lips press against his quickly
before pushing him away.

“St-Stay alive Draco. Whatever you have to do, please, please I need you alive.”

He shuts the door and runs blindly down through the manor and outside. The pain is a noise in his
ears by the time he passes through the wards and is able to apparate.

His feet land on the marble flooring that he knows. He would know it anywhere. Because it used to
be his home.

Draco stands up and gulps down air that hasn't been able to make it to his lungs with the pain that
has stopped in his arm.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

Occlude. Occlude. Occlude.

Cold. Cold. Cold.

He tries to stop the array of questions that take over his mind. Why was he being called? Had they
found out he was a traitor? Had they found the safehouse? We’re they about to attack? Did they
know Potter was dead? What was about to happen?

He shakes his head as he adjusts his shoulders, and begins the practices he had taught Granger
months ago.

Breathe in. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Breathe out. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

He does this for as long as he thinks is acceptable. It isn’t enough. He is not confident like he
usually is with his occlumency. But it is all the time he has.

Draco walks down the hall to where he can hear voices coming from the large ballroom off the
east wing. The room his mother had held so many charity galas and parties in over the years. The
room where he, and his group of friends would always hide in the west alcove to smoke, and drink,
and try to have some semblance of fun. The room where he had imagined Granger, walking down
the large staircase to meet him, in something truly breathtaking.

He walks; the room looks nothing like it used to. His entire home looks nothing like it had when
his mother was alive. The manor had died along with her.

The Dark Lord is on the large platform where the bands used to play, in a large chair with his snake
curled around him protectively like always.

The room is filled with people. A lot of people. All of the high ranking Death Eaters are sitting at a
line of tables facing the large room in front of the evil wizard.

Groups of Death Eaters and other people flank the sides of the room, standing awaiting something.
He is the only one walking in, and he chokes on his breath as the crowd parts for him.

Fuck.

I am fucked.

He walks confidently towards the noseless git, and lowers to kneel.

“My Lord, you summoned me.”

The large snake lets out a hissing noise.

“Yess young Draco. I have need for you and your unique set of skills.”

‘Stay alive Draco… I need you ali…’

Damn it, stop thinking about her.

Occlude. Occlude. Occlude.

“Of course.”

He raises from the ground and looks up to the almost man. He looks even worse than the Weasel.
Much worse than the last spectacle. His skin is so thin and pale, that almost every vein in his body
can be seen. His eyes are a beat red that look like they are bleeding with every blink. The shaking
in his hands can be seen from where Draco is standing.

Maybe he will die before we have to attack…

“As you all know, we lost a member of our army hours ago.” The Dark Lord’s voice cracks with
every syllable but he pushes through, speaking loud enough to create an echo in the large room.
“Amycus was a devout follower and fighter to eradicate our world, and make it into the best it
could be.”

A couple people start shaking their heads in agreement, and whispering to those next to them.

“It seems the undesirables of The Order have no issue with putting your children at risk either,
taking not only the life of Amycus, but the lives of 3 students as well in their feeble attempt to hurt
our cause.”

Wait, what the fuck?

He hadn’t killed any students. He had made sure only Amycus drank from the poisoned alcohol.
Made absolutely sure of it. Which means the Dark Lord is lying. And the only reason he would be
lying is because…

He killed them. He added their deaths to gain more support. To make The Order look worse…

Fuck.

A woman close to him begins to sob, and the man next to her wraps his arms around her and pulls
her in.
Probably a parent of one of the dead children.

My fault.

“We need to stop them. We need to put an end to the disease before it has the time to infest the
entire body. They need another reminder of what happens when they work against us.”

At his words, the double doors to the side that Draco knows lead out into the courtyard open.

Greyback, along with his pack of werewolves lead in a group of people.

A group of people once again covered in grime.

A group of people ranging in all heights and sexes.

A group of people with bags over their heads.

FUCK.

His hands form into fists, and he starts building his walls with frantic need.

The group of people, Draco thinks there are approximately 9, are led in the open space in front of
him. Between the large crowds.

I know what is coming…

I know, I know what he wants me to do.

“So please remember, if you come against us, this is what you will be responsible for. Was the four
lives worth it? Was it worth 9?”

Draco’s hands start to shake and he places them in his pockets.

My fault.

My fault.

All my fucking fault.

“Young Draco, if you would, give everyone here a demonstration of the curse you have created for
our army. One that each of you will be learning today. To wield against the enemy.”
Draco looks down at the floor in between him and his victims.

His victims.

All his.

This was all his fault.

He pulls out his wand.

Doing this to one person weeks ago had taken hold of a part of him. What would doing this 9 times
do to him?

What… What is about to happen to me?

I don’t want to do this.

I don’t want to become this.

Someone, please, someone stop me from becoming this.

He raises his wand.

Would she still care for him after this? Would he be able to come back from this? Would he ever
be able to sleep again, smile again, feel anything other than that dark, addictively destructive
splintered part of him that was already becoming too big to ignore? Too big to be alone with once
he had occluded?

Who am I becoming?

He takes an unnecessary step forward. Feeling the hundreds of eyes on him as he walks towards
the already dead people. He had to mean this. He had to give in to that shattered part of him again.
Had to stop fighting against it and give in.

Draco had no problem giving in when it was vengeance. But these people were innocent.

Innocent.

Murderer. I am a murderer.

But he has to do this. He has to stay alive. If he died, she would be given back to that monster. She
would be hurt, and violated, and more than likely killed. They all would be. Theo would have to
become someone who hurt others without him there to do it for him.

He has to do this.
For them.

For her.

I will do every wrong thing for you.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

The curse hits the first person and they fall. That cracking, whisper of his magic, and soul
becoming something else within him, grows.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

They fall.

They scream.

He cracks.

It grows.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

They fall.

They wail.

He cracks.

It grows.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

They fall.

They gag.

He breaks.

It consumes.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”

They fall.

They heave.

He breaks.

It becomes.

“Adolebitque Pellismus!”
They fall.

Some stop.

He feels nothing.

It is.

It is.

And is.

And is.

It is different. Different than the cold of occluding, or the feeling of an emotion.

Like more of an aching numbness. A constant thereness with every breath. A darker layer added,
placed on top, concealing, covering what used to be there.

What used to be there?

He can’t remember. It has always felt like this right? He has always felt like this shell right?
Empty? Yes. It was like this.

The screaming stops.

Draco looks down at the bodies. Well, not really bodies anymore. All he sees is red.

He places his wand back into his pocket.

How damaged is my soul now Snape?

“Very good young Draco very good indeed.”

He looks up and watches the man pull the memory out and into a vial, and hands it to Nott Sr.

His blinks feel like they are happening slower even though his body feels hyper aware that
something is wrongly different. Something that he hates to like.

What is happening to me?

“You may go Draco. I am once again very pleased with you. I shall see you in three days.”

He bows, and turns out of the room.

He almost slips on the fluid all over the floor.

I almost slipped…

The thought breaks through that cover, splintered and jagged veil slightly. He feels himself
fighting against it. For some reason.

Why am I fighting it? Just let it be. Let it have me.

The doors shut behind him and he apparates back to Nott Manor. He stumbles onto the large rock
and vomits before he is steady on his feet, falling into the mud, holding himself up against the
rock.

He heaves again.

“Oh my gods, Draco!”

At the sound of her voice, a violent assault takes over his body. With every lurch, and gasp, and
choke. It feels like his body is trying to get rid of something. Feelings, and meaning all colliding
and in battle with each other to win a place in him. The deepest places that make him who he is.
His body is trying to dispense it, and it wouldn’t stop until it was rid of whatever he had allowed,
invited, to take root.

They both can’t exist with each other.

Not like this.

The bile burns and he throws up to the point that blood is mixed.

Blood.

Just like what you slipped in…

He starts to heave again.

Warm hands wrap around his neck and send his body into a rage of fits from the shock. He moves
forward and slumps down the side of the rock until he is leaning against it, sitting on the ground.
His head falls in between his legs as the other parts of him attack what had just been created.

“Draco what is happening? What is wrong? Please, let me touch you.”

She is sobbing. Loudly. Painfully.

Oh no wait, that is him. That is him making those noises.

What the fuck?

What is happening to me?

“Ikilledthem.”

The words are rushed and put all together as he fights to get them out. Her hands press into his
robed shoulders and start rubbing everywhere that is covered with fabric. She pushes and with her
movements, everything that he attributes to her within him, the brightest most beautiful places he
calls his own dispel against the rotted, broken, manic creation that is trying to take her away.

They can’t take her. They can’t. Without her, there is nothing left.

Nothing left.

“I know you killed him Draco. You told me remember? It is okay, I am not…”

“No! No! I killed again!”

Is this what going insane feels like? Is this what had happened to his aunt when she had continued
in dark magic?

“What?”

“9. 9 more. He… he made me kill 9 more.”

The damaged and veilike part of him that was so big and shadowing everything else keeps
attacking him. It feels like something is being combined with his blood, with his nerves, making
everything feel in pain.

Breaking.

Consuming.

Splintering.

He hears someone screaming. He is pretty sure it is him.

If I let it, if I stop fighting it. If I let it have her, the pain will stop. I know it. Somehow I know it.

He isn’t strong enough for this. To fight the force he had opened himself up to, used for his own
selfish needs and desires. It was the cost. He was being ripped apart from the inside.

But then he feels pressure all over him again.

Warmth pressing into him.

A set of hands wrapping around his neck. A pair of legs wrapping around his waist. A face pushing
into his forehead. And then a mouth. A perfect perfect mouth placing itself against him.

He thinks he is dying.

Maybe a part of him is.

“You are not what you have had to do to survive Draco. You are more than this. You are!”

She is touching and rubbing all over him. He grabs onto her hips, and pulls her closer so their
chests are pressed together. His eyes are closed but he has memorized her body. Knowing every
part that formed against him in the most intimate way.

I love you.

I love you so much.

He feels something give a little at his confession, like it falters in the fight. A stumble, so slight but
he notices.

His face is wet against hers. Covered in tears from the anguish he is feeling as the dark magic tries
to consume him.

It must be a very brutal thing to watch he thinks.

“We are going to make it through this okay. You and I remember. A team. The most powerful and
deadly team there can be. I need you Draco. I need you so much.”

“It is getting too dark in here, Hermione.”

His words come out as a plea. A beg honestly. For everything to stop. For this all to stop.

“I know. I know Draco. I know it isn’t fucking fair! None of this is fair. That you… you have to
keep doing the things that break you just to exist. To breathe. To live. It isn’t fair everything you
have been forced to do. But you aren’t becoming it Draco. You aren’t one of them. You aren’t.”

“How?”

She is kissing his chin, his jawline, his neck, his collarbone. Everywhere and anywhere she can
touch.

“Because you care Draco. You care.”

That isn’t the right four letter word.

And he thinks whatever is working its way through and trying to grind into him, it doesn’t like her.
It doesn’t like what she does to him. How…
It knows I love you…

It knows.

And it doesn’t like it.

Dark magic and love cannot coincide.

I have to keep loving you Granger. If I want to stop myself from being… Being them I need to keep
loving you.

Draco moves his hand up to her face and kisses her deeply. And like always she takes it, takes
everything he tries to give to her. He needs her everywhere.

“Keep touching me. Keep showing me. I need you.”

Another wrong four letter word.

But even though he continues to be a coward and not admit it out loud, the splintering consuming
darkness continues to stumble, falling back to that area it had come from. Where it waited always.
Waiting for another decision, another choice. Wanting to take over.

But it is easier when it is back where it should be. The space is bigger, more painful and noticeable
with every breath as it breathes with him. Reminding him it is there, always there. But more
manageable.

I deserve this.

He opens his eyes for the first time and she pulls away to meet him. She flinches as she looks at his
face.

“What?’

Her eyes keep looking into his as her face falls.

“Your, your eyes. They... the silver is gone.”

I am not the same anymore Granger.

He had just used more dark magic in a couple minutes than he had in his entire life. More dark
magic than he ever wanted to use. Grey eyes instead of silver was the least of his problems.

“They are darker. More like stone.”

Not malleable.
“Everything about me is darker now Granger.”

She is shaking her head furiously at him before he finishes the sentence.

“No, no Draco Malfoy. Your soul is still intact. You still have good in you. You are being
forced…”

“I had to mean it. And I did. Because I meant what I said to you earlier. I will do whatever I have to
do to ensure my wish comes to pass.”

He closes his eyes, and leans his head back against the rock. The walls start going up over all of
this. He doesn’t want to feel it. Doesn’t want to feel anything. It all hurt too much. Maybe if he
really focused on building, and building, and building, he could turn the walls into imbedded parts
of him. Like the others. Because it was all too much. Way too much to live with, and breathe with
right now.

It was too hard to live feeling all this all the time.

He leaves her though. Thinks he has to, as that shadow becomes the only constant in the no longer
quiet. He has to leave her out there. To feel more than that. To even it all out.

“Your actions are reactions to the horrible situations others put you in. Not your own. I am glad
you are still alive Draco. I am glad you… you did what was necessary to be back here with me,
with us right now.”

“A part of me didn’t come back. They took it. They keep taking Granger. And I am trying. Fuck I
am trying so hard to make sure there is enough of me left to make sure you make it. I am trying I
am.”

He feels her forehead lower to his again as her hand grabs the back of his neck.

“I don’t need that part. Whatever you are. I want him. I need him. You aren’t the only one trying to
keep someone alive and as whole as possible.” Her fingers trail into the line of his hair and
massage the back of his head.

That doesn’t even feel the same. He feels like a layer of ice is over everything, giving every touch
and gesture an almost painful feeling, a falling short sensation. And the broken dark area inside
him stirs with promises of strong addictive feelings and power.

Just say yes.

“I can’t live carrying all this for long.”

Luna, the presentation woman, 3 children, 9 people. Too many. Too many numbers.

“I will help you Draco. You hear me? I will find a way, I will find a way to stop what is happening
in you.”

“I never wanted to be this.”

 She is silent above him, continuing to touch him all over, but it doesn’t fucking feel the same. It
feels better than anything else imaginable, but still he knows he has lost something, that it used to
be more. That an area was taken.

“What did you want to be?”

Draco tries to remember. He really does. He even takes down some walls to try to find it. To figure
out what it was he used to want to be. But if it is still a part of him, it is barely there. Much too
small to be noticed or remembered to actually even be a thought. Everything else shadows.

“I don’t remember. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Depictions of gore, torture.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Someone scuffed the stairs.

You have got to be shitting me…

He has to force himself to continue up with the tray of food. Even with a stasis charm, a muffin
was better fresh. He could spare the time it would take to remove the damn mark on his way back
down.

Not that he has much time to spare. Work on the shithouse had to be placed on hold as he and
Hermione became consumed with a greater priority over the past few days.

Draco.

They had both been in agreement that giving all of their time to try and figure out the cure to an
obliviate in three days was bloody impossible. Witches and wizards had tried to find a cure for
decades with no luck. Even Hermione admitted that she had tried to find one after having to do
something very similar to her own parents to try to keep them safe.

It was a waste of precious time.

But figuring out how to help Draco. How to save him from the eroding effects of the Dark Magic
he had been forced to use, that couldn’t be a lost cause.

It couldn’t.

They had to find a way to help him. They had been reading non stop as he slept most of the time.
Anytime he was awake he said it was too hard for him. Too hard to function. To fight whatever
was trying to lay claim to him. Theo was also currently brewing another batch of the advanced
calming draught Hermione had been taking. Draco needed it as well.

This isn’t fair…

It wasn’t. Yes Draco was definitely ruthless, and deadly. But not to those who were innocent. Not
to old schoolmates, and muggle borns. He was dangerous to those he deemed dangerous.

He had the ability to kill, and even savored it as he made clear after what he had done to Amycus,
which Theo was still pissed about. But his decisions were reactionary not actionary. What he cared
about had to be threatened before he got to that level within himself.

Killing just to kill, to feel the addictive crave of Dark Magic being wielded with your body. That
was not something he ever wanted. Theo knows that.

He can’t imagine what it must be like to grow that area, to feel it course through your veins as you
wield it. Something that couldn’t be occluded either.

Draco did not handle things well if he didn’t have the ability to occlude. He had used that crutch of
his so much, that it became a necessity for him to function.

So to have that numb quiet taken away from him, becoming something darker that he couldn’t stay
in alone for long, must be killing him.

It is killing him.

He had thrown up so many times, they had moved him onto the floor of the bathroom. His body
trying to dispel the dark magic in the only way it instinctively thought was possible.

The only thing that seemed to help was Hermione touching him, filling him with warmth and
affection. So he wasn’t alone in the gloom anymore.

Hermione believed his reaction was due to internal conflict of intention. He didn’t want to be this,
but he would. Could that sacrifice be selfish?

Theo knocks on Ginevra’s bedroom door and waits. She had been eating again like she promised
him she would for the last two days. She had changed her clothes and walked steadier as well.
Whatever Hermione had done must have helped. She truly was an amazing friend.

“Hey, Teddy right?”

Theo turns to see a man who he slightly remembers, walking down the hallway towards him. A
Gryffindor if he was remembering correctly. He thinks the man once dated Ginevra before dating
that Irish bloke. Maybe his name is Dean, but he isn’t sure.

Did he just call me Teddy?

“Uhh, Theo actually.” He turns and knocks on her door a bit louder. She may still be asleep.

“Oh Theo? Okay sorry there mate, she’s always calling you Teddy. Thought that was your name.”

“No, she is the only one to ever call me that.”

And she alone can call me that.

Just her.

Maybe-Dean nods his head, and looks over the tray Theo has in his hands before coming to stand
beside him, and tilting his head at Ginevra’s door.

“She isn’t in there. I tried around a half hour ago and no answer.”
“Okay thanks.” Theo places the tray off to the side of the door, and stands back up to see Maybe-
Dean looking him over.

He looks down at himself to see if there is something wrong, or stuck to his clothing or robes to
make the bloke look at him like that.

He doesn’t see anything out of place though.

Theo, not really knowing how to react to the scrutiny the man next to him is sending his way,
gives him a half smile before starting back down the hallway.

He needs to get back to help Hermione with their research.

“So are you distracting her now instead?”

Theo stops, and turns back around to the man leaning against the wall next to her door, still giving
him that analyzing look.

Like he was putting the pieces of a puzzle together.

Unfortunately, Theo has no idea what the bloke is talking about. “Uhh, I don’t think so. I don’t
really understand what you mean.”

The mate scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yeah right, sure you don’t. Well listen, from her old distraction to the new one, a word of
advice…” Maybe-Dean pauses and looks from him to the tray of food on the ground. “You don’t
have to do all this stuff to keep getting it.”

Getting it… Getting what?

Theo shifts his weight as he doesn’t know how to really respond to his words. “I like doing these
things. I don’t do them to get anything.”

The bloke shakes his head and laughs at him, and Theo has no idea what he said that would
warrant a laugh.

“Dean, what are you doing? Hey Teddy, good morning.”

Theo turns and sees Ginevra coming up the stairs. Her eyes travel from him to the other man in
front of her.

Theo feels himself smiling at her before he can stop himself.

Ever since Hermione had helped her leave her and Harry’s room, she seemed better. She still
hadn’t drunk the potion he and Draco brewed for her that would make his finger match with the
rest of her. He has no idea why the woman refused to take it. Especially because the gloves she
always wore to hide the evidence did not seem like they would be comfortable.

Hermione had assured him time and time again that the ginger snap hadn’t left because she was
mad at him. And the last few short interactions he has had with the red head made him think that
the evil witch might just be right. At least about that aspect.
The brunette had also been buzzing on about his self worth, and other shit like that. Draco had
rolled his eyes at the witch before dragging him out of the mind healing session he never asked for
and told him that if he ever pulled a stunt like that again, he would actually dog ear his precious
book this time.

“Good morning ginger snap. The muffin may still be warm if you eat it quickly.”

She shoots him a smile, and walks past him towards the tray and now he knows, definitely-Dean.

“Once again Dean, what are you doing here?”

Theo watches her expression harden slightly at him. Did they not get along? They had dated at
some point way back when, before she was with Harry and he was with the Irish mate. Maybe it
was a bad break up. That happened.

“Just talking to your new distraction and…”

“He is not a distraction. Piss off Dean.”

Ginevra turns her back to the man with a disgusted look on her face, as she picks up the tray and
opens her door.

“Come on Teddy.”

Theo’s eyes widen. She wanted him to come into her room. She hadn’t invited him in her room
since that first time when they had come to get her stuff. He always either left the tray by the door,
or handed it to her and walked away.

But now she wants him to follow her. And even though she had made it clear what she wanted him
to do, he finds himself once again lost.

He had been trying to keep his distance from her, like he knew she wanted him to. And rather than
his daily discussions with her father over the past couple of weeks, he usually maneuvered and
worked in the shithouse without anyone noticing or acknowledging him.

She is confusing him to no end.

“Uhm, are you sure?”

She nods her head quickly as she takes a bite of her food, and moves into her room, leaving the
door open.

Theo stands just looking for a few moments before stepping forward, and walking into her room.

Definitely-Dean sends him a smirk as Theo turns to shut the door.

“Have fun mate.”

Theo gulps loudly as the door latches.

He is nervous. No nervous doesn’t describe what he is feeling clearly. He is terrified. They hadn’t
been alone since he had made her cry for the second fucking time in the hallway almost two weeks
ago. And he had no desire to ever make her cry again.

“We received the memory a couple of hours ago.”

Theo turns to see her as his eyes widen.

“The memory of Draco…”

He can’t finish his words, but the red head doesn’t make him as she sets the food on top of the desk
and nods her head solemnly at him.

Shit…

“Did you watch?...”

“Yeah.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

They both stand there looking at the large space between them. Hermione had told him what Draco
had done, but seeing it was another thing.

“It… it was bad Teddy. And after viewing it, many people are now voicing their concerns with
him.”

Concerns? Concerns with Draco? Why? They all knew he had to keep up appearances for their
cause. They knew he couldn’t deny the Dark Lord no matter what he requested. So why would
they question his allegiance after making such a large sacrifice? A sacrifice Theo was afraid may
have been too big for him to make?

“That’s fucked up. He had to do it Ginevra, for The Order. If he didn’t, you all would have lost
your connection because I am not enough to make this plan work. I am a foot soldier basically. I
have nowhere near the clearance he has.”

She moves across the room to lean against the wall right next to him.

“I know that. They know that. But they are questioning his… reasons. A couple people are starting
to agree with Ron that he has ulterior motives for joining our cause. And that the fact that he could
successfully cast his curse 9 times in a row shows that he is a danger.”

Is she fucking serious? Casting that damn curse 9 times in a row was currently destroying him.

“Being forced to do that is killing him Ginevra. But he is willing to let it kill him if it keeps
Hermione alive. That is his reason. That has always been his reason and you know it.”

“I do. I do know it Teddy. I am just warning you is all. I am standing up for both of you snakes
along with Minerva, and a couple others. We are trying to speak against them.”

He huffs and runs his hand over his face and into his hair as a yawn escapes. “Thanks.”

“How are you doing? You look tired.”

Theo nods his head and walks over to the tray, placing the food and potions onto the desk to take
the tray back with him.
“Yeah, Hermione and I have been trying to find some way to lessen the Dark Magic Draco is
carrying now. He looks like shit.”

He raises his eyes and looks her over again. She is wearing some of the clothes she had purchased
from the catalogs. Her wounds no longer needed any dressings, and she had no visible scars except
for the finger. It looks like being back at the safehouse and closer to Harry was actually starting to
help her. He was happy to see it.

“Before you leave, I wanted to apologize to you Theo.”

Wait what the hell? She wants to apologize to me?

Theo meets her eyes that are staring right back into his without blinking or waivering in the
slightest. She takes a few steps closer to him, making the space between them smaller.

“Apologize to me? Why? You haven’t done anyth…”

“Yes I have Theo. I, I am sorry for the way I treated you after waking up. For yelling at you for,
what you did and gave for me. And then leaving without giving you an explanation. I was never
angry with you. I hope you know that. I just…” Her voice cuts off as she comes to stand before
him, looking down trying to find the words. He watches as she takes the gloves off and brings her
hand up between them, the one that now carried a piece of him. “This made me confront some
things I hadn’t yet. Hell, I am still working through them if I am being honest.”

“Why don’t you take the potion then? It’ll make it look like the rest of…”

“Because it was never about the finger Theo. You get that right?”

No Theo did not get that. This was now what, the fourth conversation he was finding himself lost
in within an hour.

He shakes his head no. She raises her other hand and starts rubbing her finger up and down and
looks at it.

“Did you mean what you said about not wanting me to stop loving Harry?”

Oh shit, I don’t want to talk about this. Last time, I made you cry. And it seriously almost killed
me.

“Of course I did.”

“Why? How can you say that to me? It doesn’t bother you that, that I will always love him?"

“No.” Theo doesn’t hesitate with his answer. Why would that matter? Of course she would love
him for the rest of her life to some degree. That made sense. Love just doesn’t disappear after
someone dies.

“Why?”
Theo shrugs.

“Because your love for him is a part of you Ginevra. Loving and losing him is a piece of who you
are. You, you wouldn’t be you without it.”

She blinks and then stares at him for a long time. He ends up having to avert his eyes from her
hazel ones piercing into him. Had he said something wrong?

Please don’t start crying again. Please. I am a moron. I don’t know what the hell I am talking
about.

“Listen, I’m sorry. That probably came out all wrong. I have to go. Let me know via the galleon if
you have something specific you want tomorrow.”

Theo doesn’t meet her eyes again before walking to the door and sliding out of her room.

"Well that was quick."

He doesn't turn around at Dean's words, and she doesn’t follow him thank fuck.

He doesn’t even stop to clean the stairs before basically running out of the safehouse, and
apparating back to the manor.

His father had been in the home when he had left. He casts the detection spell to find he is still
here.

Shit.

Theo takes off his shoes as quickly as possible, and maneuvers the stairs to make the least amount
of noise. He runs at full speed until he reaches his door and shuts it behind him.

The sounds of Draco vomiting meet him in the entryway.

I am so sorry Draco…

He walks into their room and sees Draco’s legs through the open doorway. Hermione is above
him, placing a flannel on the back of his neck, and massaging his shoulders. She looks up and sees
him. She looks just as a mess as Draco. Theo begins to walk forward, but she shakes her head for
him to stop and then jerks it to the side, gesturing down to the library where they had been working
before he left.

He looks down at Draco again, and then nods and walks towards the library.

There was a war going on inside of Draco. And his body was responding to that altercation by
doing it’s best to get rid of what it knows shouldn’t be a part of him.

Theo had given Draco some of the potions he had made for Hermione, and also a tranquilizer
remedy that would help him... function. They needed him to be able to make it through the
spectacle, and play the role he needed to play.

Theo sits down, pulls out a cigarette and lights it as he looks at the page he had left off on.

He reads and smokes through three cigarettes before Hermione walks in alone and slumps in the
chair across from him.

“Asleep?”

“Yeah. I gave him Dreamless Sleep. Hopefully he should be out the rest of the day.”

Theo tosses the pack of sticks to her, and leans down into his healing kit to grab them both a pepper
up potion.

They both start working in silence except for the turning of pages and the scratch of a quill.

Hermione pipes up for the first time in hours as he pulls the last cigarette out of the pack.

“What about a siphoning healing spell like this?”

She moves the small book before him, and points to the page describing the spell work and history.

Theo knows the spell. It was from one of his healing books he had obsessed over to try to stay alive
while he was at the mercy of his father. It was used mainly to extract potions that needed to be
taken out of a body due to reaction and improper use. But Theo also knew that Dark Magic did not
operate like potions. It wasn’t a separate area to slowly remove. It was battling for his soul, as
much of it as it could have.

“Can you siphon a soul?”

Hermione huffs and leans back in her chair. “His soul is still intact. It hasn’t taken over yet, but I
see what you mean… hand me that book next to you. I think you were right earlier. We need to
look at more abstract concepts.”

Theo hands her the book and she opens it to the first page.

“Which is our area of expertise.” He says sarcastically to the evil witch who smirks up at him.
Their minds worked very similarly. Always holding onto the logical side of things. The concrete.
Fact over theory areas. Not the abstract.

“Why didn’t we ever do this in school Theo? You are much more enjoyable to research and study
with than Harry or Ron ever were. They never could sit still long enough.”

Theo grins, and takes a drag of his cigarette, working his tongue around the captured smoke to
make shapes that travel above the table. “Because I was invisible.”

“No you weren’t I saw you. You sat…”

“Three tables down I know.”

They both smile at each other and at the hundreds of memories of them being in the library at their
favored tables.
“I’m sorry I never talked to you. I wish I would have.”

Theo shrugs.

“We may have been three tables away, but we were in different worlds, Hermione.”

“No we weren’t. We were both in there trying to figure out ways to stay alive and stay safe from
monsters.”

He smirks at how right she actually was. Maybe they should have done more than the head nod
and smile. Then he would have had someone to talk to, and be friends with who actually enjoyed
sitting for hours in the library alone.

"Were you always studying healing?"

"For the most part." He exhales the smoke through his nose. "Also studied wards and protection
charms. But mostly focused on the human body and healing."

Hermione dips her quill in an ink pot and starts taking notes on the new book in front of her.

"Did you plan on becoming a healer when you got older?"

Theo scoffs loudly which makes her look up at him from her book. "Hermione, I was trying to
ensure that I got older. Getting there was my focus, and I had trouble believing I would. So I never
really thought beyond it."

She stares at him for a moment, her eyes becoming watery before she nods slightly, reaches out
slowly, and squeezes his hand. He allows it. Ever since leading her through the storm, he had
battled and won against the weight in his chest when it came to simple and quick touches from her.
He could handle it for a little while, before the memories became too much.

“Do you think we would have become friends if we would have been given Head Girl and Head
Boy?” He says as she pulls back her hand and wipes at her eye.

“Absolutely Theo. There is not a doubt in my mind that we would have become best friends. Even
if I would have given you hell over your choice of decor for our common areas.”

Wait, what? She doesn’t like my stuff?

He reaches for a new book for himself as he rolls his eyes at her laugh.

“Oh come off it. You know my stuff is great. Don’t deny it.”

“I will admit that it is grand that is for sure.”

She laughs again as she looks around the library at all the ornate, and in Theo’s opinion, classy as
shit decor.

“Well I would have given you hell over your damn kneazle. And probably would have had to run
interference so fucking often between you and Draco, that I would make the bastard pay me for my
time.”
The lighthearted mood disappears at the mention of his name. Hermione’s smile falls and she stares
down at the table. She was worried about him. Anytime she wasn’t by his side taking care of him,
she was sitting, trying to find an answer or way to help him.

“He is going to be okay Hermione. If anyone can figure out a way to help him, you can.”

Her face starts scrunching up in the way he had learned months ago meant she was about to cry
hard. Theo accios a handkerchief and hands it to her, before it gets too bad.

She takes a few minutes to collect herself, before turning back to her books as she cracks her
shoulders. He follows her lead and starts reading again.

He isn’t sure how much time passes before he sees her get up from her chair and walk out of the
library. She comes back in a few minutes later with her bag that had no bottom supposedly and a
book he doesn’t recognize in her hands.

“What’s that?”

She sits down and tosses the journal-like book in between them.

“It is all my notes from when I was doing extensive research on horcruxes.”

Oh, is that all?

He gives Hermione a look before tentatively opening it, and looking at her handwriting and
drawings covering every available space on page after page.

“Shit, this is a lot. You probably know more about Dark Magic than I do.”

Hermione nods her head, and starts pulling at her curls in concentration.

“Dark Magic takes. It calls for sacrifice every time it is used. And like Draco said, he had to mean
it for the curses to work. Even if he meant it for noble reasons and that is why I believe his soul is
still intact, it is still affecting him. It is still consuming him.”

She reaches out and flips the pages until one appears that shows seven different sections. There is a
book, a hideous necklace, and…

I recognize that snake.

“When Tom Riddle used Dark Magic to create the horcruxes he had to split his soul, and in the
process, basically take apart some of the Dark Magic living within him, and place it into something
else.”

That is why the noseless git was still alive. That is why it seemed he couldn’t be killed. Theo nods
his head and she turns the page again.

“What if… what if we do something similar?”

What the fuck?

He looks up at her sharply.

“Are you actually suggesting we make… horcruxes Hermione?”

Theo thinks he is going to be sick. He couldn’t do this shit.

“No! No not horcruxes. Nothing evil. What I mean is the ability to create horcruxes shows that it is
possible to split and extract Dark Magic out of a being and place it into something else. What if we
did that for Draco? What if we took out the magic that has not taken root in his soul, and placed it
elsewhere.”

Well that was an abstract thought if he had ever heard one. Theo looks over a few pages of her
notes. He personally did not know much about horcruxes or the splitting of Dark Magic within
someone, but her notes are extensive and very detailed. The noseless git was living proof that it
could be done.

“The problem is…” He looks up again to see her meeting his eyes. “I think since the Dark Magic
hasn’t.. rooted, it would have to be placed into something living. Into someone. Because Dark
Magic always has to take, and it can only take from something that is living.”

Theo gulps loudly and sits back in his chair. He knows where she is going with this. He knows
what she is thinking.

Maybe she is a bit of an evil witch.

“You want to take some of it.”

She nods her head, and Theo finds himself mimicking the movement.

“Okay, well then I am too.”

At that she moves her head back and forth in a different direction automatically. “No Theo. I…”

“Yes Hermione. If the two of us share, it will have less of an effect on both of us."

The woman groans and leans back in her chair.

“Theo, we have talked about this. You have to stop giving yourself like…”

“You have no room to talk Hermione.” He looks up and glares at her. She really didn’t. The
woman sacrificed her life more than any of them. “We all are giving more than we want to.”

She pulls her hair up off of her neck before tossing her hands in the air, and grunting in frustration.

“I don’t even know if it can be done yet. I am hopeful, but I need to find a way and soon. He can’t
be like this for much longer.”
Theo agrees. And flips her journal back to the first page.

“Well then, let's learn everything we can about the ritual and see what we have to work with.”

Hermione sits up and starts working immediately. They go back into their quiet comfortableness,
every once and a while sharing a thought, writing down new information, and marking a page in a
book. She checks on Draco almost every half hour even though she has a diagnostic charm cast on
him that shows a steady and consistent heart rate and oxygen levels.

They both needed to get some rest if they were going to help Draco create the false memory in a
few hours. Theo is about to beg for Hermione to take a break and make him some burnt chocolate,
when he feels a burning sensation in his left pocket.

Shit, the galleon.

He can’t help the sinking feeling that follows as he reaches in and reads the top.

Here

G.S.

Hermione pulls her galleon out as well, and looks down at it.

“Why is Ginny here?” They both stand up and start down the hallway quickly.

“I have no clue.”

Did something happen? Was The Order choosing to not trust Draco anymore? Was Dolohov
making advancements?

Theo begins to open his front door, but something invisible pushes it open the rest of the way, and
shuts it.

Theo backs up as her cloak is removed and Ginevra is standing there breathing heavy in front of
him, looking right at him in a way he doesn’t understand.

“Hey.” She huffs out between breaths, bending over to rest her hands on her knees.

“Hi.”

The three of them stand there just staring at each other for a while before Hermione finally breaks
the silence.

“Ginny, what is going on? You should have had Theo come down, and get you. It is not safe to
be…”

“I like you Theo.”

His lungs stop working. His brain stops thinking. Everything about him stops functioning as she
stands straight, and they lock eyes.

“You… You what?”

“I like you Theo. I like you a lot. And I miss you. Fuck, I have missed you so much. And I don’t
want to miss you anymore. And I am pretty sure you like me too. I mean you gave me your fucking
finger for Merlin’s sake. So you have to like me right?”

What? She, she likes me? And has missed me? Me. Why? Why me? After what I did. And she asked
if I like her. Like she has to fucking ask.

“Why?”

Her face softens, and she shakes her head, like he said something outrageous.

“Merlin, we are going to have to talk about that load of shit you just said, and about this…” She
holds up her ungloved hand with her different finger in between them. “Soon. Because I won’t have
you talk about yourself, or believe that about yourself any longer. We are putting an end to that got
it?”

Theo can barely get his head to nod in confirmation, but she must have seen it because she smiles
at him and moves closer.

Merlin, she is terrifying.

“Okay good. And just to clarify Theo. I like you in the way that includes snogging, and exclusivity,
and maybe a future, and a lot of alone time with each other. I like you more than a friend. ” She
stops in front of him, and meets his eyes. “So, do you like me Teddy?”

Alone with her again…

“Yes.”

She smiles and he can’t stop himself from doing the same.

“And you want to give this a go with my fucked up arse?”

“You have a great arse.”

What the hell Theo boy…

She grins again, and pulls out her wand.

“Okay, unlike last time, this time I will ask.”

She waves her wand and he sees a couple of boxes, trunks, and crates appear behind her.

“Can I move in with you Teddy?”

This is the best day of my life.

“Absolutely.”

“For as long as I want?”

For forever.

“I hope you never leave.”

Her smile falters slightly and she lowers her wand.

“I will never leave like that again Theo. I promise.”

“I believe you Ginevra.”

I do.

They both just stare at each other, until she finally moves a few steps closer, placing her wand back
in her pocket.

“I have a couple more things to ask you Theo. And these will all be yes or no questions that will
lead to a lot of actions if you want. Hermione, you probably need to leave, unless you would like to
hear all the things I am about to do to Teddy.”

Theo doesn’t take his eyes off of his ginger goddess. But he hears some shuffling and the sound of
a door being closed. The space around them starts to heat up, as he watches her face change to the
one that reminds him of someone ready to attack.

“Okay, I am going to snog you hard. Yes or no?”

This is happening. This is happening to me.

“Yes.”

She takes a step closer.

“I am then going to cup your face, and run my hand through that thick soft brown hair of yours as I
dip my tongue into your mouth and bite your lower lip. Yes or no?”

“Please yes.”

She takes a step closer.

“Then you are going to push us into your bedroom and shut the door, yes or no?”

“Yes.”

She takes a step closer.

“I will then take all of my clothes off, you can leave on or take off whatever you want or feel
comfortable with, but I want to be naked in front of you. I want you to look at me, and touch me
anywhere and everywhere you want without holding back anything. Yes or no?”

This is what living feels like.

“Fuck yes.”

She takes the last step before their chests brush against each other.

“And last but not least, I want to see your cock. And try some things I have been wanting to try. We
of course will stop if it becomes too much for you. Yes or no?”

He chokes on his breath, and covers his mouth as he loses control of his senses with her proximity,
and the filth of the words leaving her mouth that makes the exact area she is mentioning stand at
attention.

“Yes or no?”

He looks down at her face, as she raises her eyebrows up at him.

“You scare me.”

The gorgeous red head of his dreams smirks.

“Good, you need to be a little scared. So yes or no Teddy?”

Theo gulps loudly. Already decided on his answer.

“Yes.”

They both move at the same time, and bring their mouths together. Her hands do exactly what she
had said she was going to do. He expectantly feels them maneuver to the side of his face and to the
back of his head, threading through his hair gently. Her lips part, and his do as well and her tongue
does all the wonderful things it had promised seconds ago.

You… Fuck ginger snap, you change and make everything for me.

Taking away all my forks.

She doesn’t move any closer or put her hands anywhere other than the places she mentioned and
asked his permission to, but she isn’t close enough. He wants more of her. All of her.

Theo’s other hand wraps around her waist and pulls her flush against him as he moves his mouth to
her neck, and starts lathing hard kisses up and down the beautiful untainted skin he had healed, and
put back together. He hears her let out a gasp, that sparks something in him that he has never felt
before her.

He pushes against her, making her step backwards quickly towards his open door, never taking his
mouth off of her. Making more and more of her airy shallow breaths leave her. Her hand in his hair
disappears for a moment and he hears the door shut, before she moves away from him. Theo
follows her with his entire body, but the woman steps to the side at the last minute before she
would have been forced on her back onto his bed.

“Ginger snap I…”

“Sit down Teddy.”

He closes his eyes for a moment before letting out a frustrated huff and turning to sit on the bed,
which is very uncomfortable with the erection currently being restrained in his trousers.

Ginevra lets out a wicked little laugh and moves into the space between his legs, making him
spread them to make room for her body standing above him.

He starts to reach out.

“Uh uh, no touching Teddy. Remember?”

He drops his hands on his thighs and grunts.

“I thought I was the one with a touching problem, and was also allowed to do whatever I wanted to
you?”

She laughs again, and moves her hands to her top button.

“You are allowed to do any fucking thing you want to me Teddy. I give you consent. But for right
now…” She pops the button through the loop, and goes down to the next, and Theo forgets to
breathe. “Just watch. Just look.”

She moves on to the third button, then the fourth, then fifth, six, seventh, last.

Holy shit holy shit.

Her shirt comes off. And before she brings her hands back from behind her, and before Theo can
mentally prepare himself, she undoes her bra and it falls into his lap. Leaving her perky and freckle
covered breasts right in front of his face.

And for some reason, his mouth begins to water at the sight of them.

Her eyebrows raise as she watches him swallow, and then lick his lips as his eyes dart from one to
the other.

“I want to put my mouth on them.”

Oh my gods… did I just say that out loud?

The blush travels up onto his ears, but when he makes eye contact with her again, he sees a smile
growing on her face.

“What else do you want to do to me Theo?”

Her hands move to the buttons of her trousers.

“Uhh… I, I don’t know.”

He has no idea where what he had said earlier came from. He hadn’t really thought about it, it just
happened as he saw them, and continues to see them bounce slightly as she grabs the hem of her
pants, and pulls them down with her knickers.

She throws the material to the ground, and stands up to give him a full view of her completely bare
body. And he honestly thinks he may never be able to breathe properly again.

She is truly exceptional. One of a kind. Every inch of her. This, this is more than just skin.

Everything about her is white, and soft looking; her little paint-like splatters of sunset colors are all
over her.

This was so much better than his fantasies.

He can smell the fresh scent of herbs and freshly baked bread on her skin. The warmth of her body
on the inside of both of his thighs, pressing into them as she leans forward slightly.

He sees her trimmed red haired area between her legs that matches the dazzling hair on her head.

The air is changing in all the ways only she has the power to do as his gaze takes in the intimate
parts of her.

Fuck… Ginevra is naked in front of me.

The most beautiful woman in the world is bare in front of me.

For… For me.

Theo gulps loudly.

“Do you want to put your mouth other places?”

“Fuck yes.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.”

“Go ahead.”

He doesn’t hesitate before wrapping his mouth around one of her dark brown nipples and sucking it
in, tasting what he had been smelling, feeling that soft skin in his mouth, and he moans as he buries
his face into her breasts, getting lost in them.

She doesn’t move or touch any part of him; leaning back slightly, as he places a hand in the small
of her back and angles her breasts deeper into his mouth pressing hard into them.

Her noises and body convulse slightly as he laps, and sucks, and kisses the area obsessively.

“Mhmmm Okay Teddy, onto the next one. Lay down.”

Her voice has no humor in it. It makes him listen immediately to her command. Pulling his face
away and hearing the pop as he unsuctions his mouth from her skin to lay on his back on the bed.
Once he is down, he watches Ginevra smile and crawl onto the bed in the space down by his feet.

“Spread your legs.”

He slowly spreads them, wincing at the pressure and material making it very uncomfortable on his
enlarged cock that is suppressed.

The stunning red head crawls in between his legs before sitting back on her knees, and looking
down at him.

“You are beautiful ginger snap. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

The woman throws her hair over her shoulder and smiles.

“Thank you Teddy. Do you want to keep your clothes on as much as possible?”

Theo is nodding his head before she finishes. He didn’t want to ruin this by having to stop
everything by going too far too quick. And being completely naked in front of her, having his body
in such a vulnerable state. That much skin touching skin… he wasn’t ready.

“Okay that’s fine. Now would you prefer to free your cock, or would you like me to do it?”

He moves his hands to his button and zipper, undoing them quickly and moving them and his
briefs down a bit to make it more comfortable.
He grabs himself and carefully pulls it free from the restraints. His hands stutter.

Wait… what the fuck am I doing? There is no way she really wants to do this there is no…

Theo watches her face change as she looks at him. Her eyes grow and change into a look that
makes the hair on his arms stand on end.

Okay… shit maybe she does.

“Damn Theo, your cock is impressive.”

Well, what the hell am I supposed to say to that? What qualifies to make a cock look impressive?
Length? Circumference? Cleanliness? Size of testicles? Curves or tip sizes? I don’t have the
slightest clue, but she looks pleased and that’s all that matters right?

“I don’t really know how to use it.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

He grimaces and thinks thoroughly about avadaing himself as she laughs and bends down placing
her face closer to his sex. He feels her breath against the very sensitive skin, and his body jerks at
the sensation.

“Oh don’t worry, I am about to use it for you. Is that okay?”

Her face is inches away from him as she looks up, her chin touches it slightly making him choke
and jump again.

“Y-yes.”

She shoots him a quick smile before dropping farther. Theo watches her move lower, and feels her
tongue press hard against his base and lick up all the way.

“Holy shit!”

His back arches, and he moves his hips back and forth as her warm and wet tongue keeps pressing
at a particularly sensitive spot right below his tip.

He almost blacks out. It is almost painful. So close to actually possibly killing him he really thinks.

“You alright there Teddy?”

“I- I don’t fucking know.” He says through gritted teeth.

Her mouth, and all of its warmth and power move away from him, and he feels like he is going to
throw up.

No, no, no! No that was a mistake!

“Ginger snap, put your mouth back on my cock now.”

Theo grimaces again and closes his eyes after he finishes his outburst.

He obviously has no bloody idea what he is doing. That was fucked up to say. If she didn’t want to,
she shouldn’t. Shit, he shouldn’t order her around and try to control…

"Aye aye captain."

Before he can do anything, he feels her mouth wrap around him, and sink his cock back and into
her even wetter and warmer mouth.

Theo makes a noise, and balls the sheets in his fists, fighting not to buck her face with everything
he has.

“I knew you were going to be the death of- fuck!”

He presses his head back into the mattress as she starts bobbing her head up and down.

It is sensory overload for him.

An out of body experience honestly.

Feeling the soft give of her cheek skin, and the back of her throat hit against his tip, as she works
him up and down with ferver. His eyes roll into the back of his head and he can’t breathe as that
pressure builds to such a tight feeling, he is afraid that when it finally does snap it will break him.
Hurt him.

Ginevra has your cock in her mouth. Holy fucking hell. This isn’t a dream. You aren’t wanking in
the shower. She literally has that crass and fierce mouth of hers filled with your cock.

I am the luckiest bastard in the world.

He moves up to his elbows to watch. She doesn’t touch anywhere else except for his length he has
exposed to her, and she is devouring it like it is the most delicious thing she has ever had in her
mouth.

Watching his cock disappear into her, seeing her saliva trailing down his skin, watching her hair
fall around her, and her breasts bounce with her bobs…

“ Fuck Ginevra!”
He tenses as she moans and he feels it enter his lower back as she sucks in her cheeks.

He is close.

Shit it has been what like 45 seconds and I am about to come. Pathetic Theo boy, but how in the
hell am I supposed to last when my cock is in her mouth. Just look at this!

Think of something else. A long lasting Polyjuice Potion can take up to 6 months to brew, and it
needs to have a very consistent environment and temperature to make the best…

He looks down again, and all his thoughts and tries at distracting himself fly out on a broom, as he
sees the wonderful woman’s hazel eyes staring right up at him as she takes him in, again, and
again, and again.

Fuck this…

Fuck me.

That pressure starts moving forward.

“Gin, Gin I’m coming I’m, move!”

She shakes her head, and instead of moving sinks him the farthest she had since she had been
blowing him into her throat, and Theo lets out a loud groan as his entire body tenses, and pulses
with his cock emptying itself into her mouth.

“Shiiit.”

This is the best moment of my life.

The pulses continue for so long, that they have an edge of pain that he actually savors. He is
breathing heavy straring up at the ceiling as his muscles relax from the best fucking orgasm he has
ever had.

Draco was right, this is so much better than wanking.

She finally releases him and sits back on her knees smirking down in a predatory type of triumph
as he watches her swallow.
Go ahead, you can prey on me anytime.

“Good?”

He barks out a laugh and shakes his head at her cheeky smugness. He sits up to look at her.

“You are an exceptional witch Ginevra. I think it is clear how much I enjoyed that, with what is
dripping out of the corner of your mouth.”

He moves before he thinks about it and takes his thumb and cleans the side of her mouth.

“Was… it okay for you? Sorry I didn’t last very long, but it seems like a lot of work for you
and…”

“Theo stop saying stupid shit. I loved doing that to you. Turned me on actually. Want to see?”

She holds out her hand, and Theo tentatively places his into hers.

She sits up and spreads her legs, pulling his hand in between them, pushing them gently into her
upper thighs that are wet and slippery.

When women are aroused, they create a fluid that will make arousal evident. I remember that from
my healing and health books.

She moves her hand higher and higher, but pauses and looks up at him before moving any farther.
He nods his head, giving her permission. He hadn’t felt that overpowering weight of fear on his
chest yet. She raises his hand into her red curls and feels the area completely soaked.

“Told you. I really liked that.”

She drops his hand off of her sex, and crawls up to lay next to him on the bed with a loud satisfied
sigh, and a smile.

Wait what the hell?

“We’re not done ginger snap.”

She turns her head to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I, you, well. Don’t you want to… you know?”

He looks down to the area between her legs, then back up to her face. She smiles and bends her
knees, raising them up off the bed.

“It’s okay Teddy. We can work up to that. No rush. Besides, I’ll just use the one piece of you I
always have to please myself.”

She wiggles her/his pinky at him, and chuckles as he knows he gawks horribly.

Fuck it. I have to know.

“Have you done that with…”

“Hell yes I have! It is my new favorite one to use. Half the reason I refuse to take that bloody
potion you keep trying to force down my throat. The feel of your skin on my cunt, well Teddy,
nothing compares.”

Yes, most definitely this woman is going to kill me. What am I supposed to say to that? You’re
welcome?

He sits up and looks down at her naked and relaxed body. He envies her confidence and comfort at
being bare to him. Someday, someday he hopes to be like her.

“Well what if I want to try to…”

What did Draco and Blaise always call it?

“Eat you out?”

Ginevra starts laughing uncontrollably, and has to cover her mouth that is trying to smile as her
eyes water from the fit. And Theo feels utter mortification at the sight.

Shit, is that not what it is called? Did they lie to me to make me look like an arse if this ever did
end up happening to me? I bet they did… I hate them so fucking much.

“You want to go down on me Teddy?”

“Yes very much.”

“Well you don’t have to tell me twice.”

She leans back and opens her legs as wide as she can.

Oh shit. Why the hell did I say that? I don’t know how to do this.
He moves slowly, and places himself in between her legs, and looks down at her cunt. It looks like
the pictures in the textbooks. But the healing books he read did not ever explain how to do what he
was about to do. Nor did the titles really give it a good explanation.

Do I just lick? Or bite? I feel like that could be a really bad idea. The clit is where her stimulation
comes from and that is…

He moves his hand forward and opens her.

There, okay I found it. Now what the hell do I do with it?

“Teddy…”

“Yeah?’

He looks up from between her legs where his face is right above her sex, hands still spreading her
for him to take in.

“Stop looking at my cunt like it is an Arithmancy equation.”

He blinks and shakes his head. “Sorry, I want to do this. But I don’t…”

“I’ll tell you what to do. I’ll tell you what I like.”

Thank Merlin…

He nods gratefully lowering back down, and spreading her again.

“So do you know what a clit is and where…”

“Fuck yes I know what and where your clit is Ginevra. Stop saying stupid shit.”

He hears her giggle at his frustrated and annoyed statement. He knew everything about the human
anatomy.

“Prove it.”

He looks up at her as she raises and smirks at him. Challenging him. He scoffs. He knows exactly
where it is. No doubt in his mind.

Theo moves his thumb over the raised bundle and presses down.

Ginevra sucks in a breath of air, and Theo glares up at her and lifts the side of his mouth. "Proved
it."

"Bloody hell you did. Already off to a better start than most blokes."

They both laugh, and he notices the sensitive skin pulse under his thumb pad. He moves his thumb
again, lightly pressing as he circles her clit, noticing her muscles flex in her lower abdomen.

"Mmmhhm yes. A bit more pressure and slower."

He listens to her instructions, and watches as her body writhes under his one finger.

I think that means she likes this.

Her breasts start raising and falling in a shallow and inconsistent motion as he continues to work
her area with his finger. She has half of her bottom lip pulled up into her mouth, and her hands
move up to touch herself.

Yes she definitely likes this. Okay circular and varying degrees of pressure. Easy enough. I can do
that with my tongue.

He removes his slick hand from her cunt, and he hears her growl above him, right before he lowers
his face into her sex and hesitantly places his tongue onto her.

The flat rough surface of his tongue feels the very new and incredible texture of her cunt, and he
licks up over her clit, feeling and tasting her for the first time.

HOLY SHIT.

He raises himself and looks down at what he had just done, what he was now tasting.

“Teddy?”

Theo swallows and his whole body shakes.

"Better than burnt chocolate."

He lowers himself back onto her, needing her on his tongue again. Ginevra gasps, and wiggles her
body under him as he consumes her.

He catalogs every intake of air, slight whimper, muscle flex, and biting of her lip as he works the
area in the way she told him she likes.

But he wants to do more. He wants his mouth full of her. Without thinking, he sucks her clit into
his mouth, wrapping his tongue around the area and inhaling every bit he can.
"Bloody fucking hell… do that. Fuck what- whatever you are doing, keep… doing… that."

Her last word is barely a whisper as he sucks her in again, and she contorts around him.

This is control. This I fucking love.

He coils his tongue around her, and works her clit in his mouth like he does the smoke from a
cigarette. Trying to form and make something more. Pushing it to the roof of his mouth, and
twisting his tongue around and with her sex in all the ways he had learned to over the years. While
also swallowing and inhaling as much of her as he can.

He loves maneuvering it, shaping it, holding it, creating it. Wanting to make himself an artist due
to the things he could do with her cunt in his mouth alight.

Theo is so lost in his new favorite obsession, that he doesn't even notice Ginevra sitting up and
whimpering until she bucks against his face, and screams his name as he sucks her clit in once
more, and holds it in his mouth lightly yet effectively with his teeth.

He raises slightly off of her, not wanting to be too far away from the intoxicating place.

"What? Did I do something wrong, I know…"

"Bollocks no Teddy! Just, fuck… tie me up."

Theo’s mouth drops open.

Did… did she just say…

"What?"

"I need you to bind my hands to the headboard."

Tie her up? Why would she need something like that? That feels a bit wrong Theo thinks.

Ginevra meets his eyes and whimpers a defeated sound. Her whole body is flushed with varying
degrees of red covering her skin, the reddest being her cheeks as she pulls in her lip again and
closes her eyes.

She looks in pain. Like he is hurting her.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm so sorry I got carried away and…"

"Fuck Teddy, no you are doing absolutely everything right. But unless you want my nails leaving
trail marks all over your shoulders and neck, which I think would be too much for you, I need you
to tie me up so I can't touch you, because I don't think I am going to be able to stop myself if your
bloody tongue does that again."
Oh.

So she wants to be restrained to not touch him. To not end this. Because she was enjoying it. He
was doing it well. That makes sense.

"You sure?"

She nods her head, and pulls both arms up, and crosses them at the wrists. "Please. If, if it doesn’t
bother you."

A rush of blood shoots down in between his legs as she whispers the plea. She wants this. If she
wanted it, and enjoyed it, it wasn't wrong right? Theo sits up, and grabs his wand off of the floor.
He moves to hover over her, still completely clothed, and holds himself up with one arm, raising
the other up to her crossed wrists.

"I trust you Theo."

He says the spell and watches as the rope appears and tightens around her beautiful skin, and pulls
her up a bit as it wraps around the headboard post.

"I trust you too Ginevra."

Theo recites another spell to make sure the ropes don't hurt or chafe her perfect skin, and looks
down at her beneath him. She smiles, and raises her head to almost bring their mouths together, but
lets him be the one to make the contact.

They kiss for a long time, until the taste of her sex starts to dissipate and become fainter.

Well, can't have that.

“Can I…”

“Bloody hell, please yes.”

He pecks her mouth one more time, before lowering back down in between her legs and diving
back into her.

As his mouth works her with more confidence than before, he notices how much the ginger snap
had been holding back the first time.

Now that she is restrained, she bucks, and twists, and whines at his movements on her.

Theo lets go of her clit, and pierces his tongue into her, curling it, to take as much of her taste with
him as possible.
"I'm right there, Theo, right…"

Yes Theo boy, make her come, you can do this.

He moves the pad of his thumb up to her clit and circles her again. Draco had always said doing
both would work every time. He pushes his tongue as deep in her as he can.
"Theo! Fuck me Theo!"

He hears the headboard shake as she yanks, and twists at the restraints hard. The thighs encasing
his face jerk up around his head, but Theo reaches up and presses them down into the mattress.
Keeping her exactly where he wants her to be.

The pillow-like walls around his tongue start squeezing, and the pulse under his thumb turns more
into a beat as he hears Ginevra’s high pitched moan vibrate in her throat. Her legs are shaking
uncontrollably under his hands, and the waves of her muscles in her sex keep spasming under his
much lighter licks and caresses.

Theo moves his tongue out of her, and kisses everything in between her legs, watching as more of
her fluid comes spilling out of her as she comes down from her orgasm.

An orgasm that he made happen.

Fuck yes I did.

He smiles into her sex as he tries to swallow every drop of her coming out.

"I… I'm speechless Teddy. Like holy hell that was… was fantastic."

He chuckles as he pushes her legs into the mattress harder, making her open more so he can get
everywhere he needs to.

"What, hey, Theo I came. I came already. You can st…"

"I don't want to."

He licks and kisses her folds, and the space around her clit, cleaning her and taking it for himself.

"Really?"

He moves his mouth and presses his face into the crease of her sex and her leg, breathing in and
nuzzling into her.

"Yes really. Want to go again?"

Theo knew women could experience multiple orgasms in a row usually. And he had no desire to
leave his new favorite place in the world anytime soon.

She raises her head to stare at him as her eyes widen, and he can’t help the smile that takes over his
face at the sight. Her long auburn hair is wild and stuck to her sweaty and reddened chest, covering
one of her nipples, while the other is on full display. They both are rising up and down harshly with
each intake. Her eyes are hooded and looking at him with surprise.

“Do you? Some blokes don’t like doing this.”

“Those blokes are idiots. This is my new obsession.”

“You are obsessed with my cunt?”

“No I am obsessed with you… and your cunt.”

He hears her laugh.

"You and your words… fuck yes Teddy I want to go again."

He smiles and dives back in. Trying new things. Some she likes, some she doesn't. He places them
in his mental catalog he is creating of her. Every noise, shake, taste, smell, movement, breath. He
takes them and makes them his. Preserves them in his mind for later and continuous use hopefully.

And she comes.

Again.

And again.

“Merlin Teddy! I, I think I’m done. I don’t think I can anymore.”

Theo looks up to see her staring down breathing heavy, with a face that tells him she is not lying.
He sighs, but nods and raises off of her. Looking down at the still shaking body of the woman who
has changed everything for him.

"Kiss me."

He complies and lowers his extremely bruised and swollen lips to hers, letting her tongue enter his
mouth in a slow and lazy way, that shows both of their exhaustion. But he loves it. He loves kissing
her, and touching her, and tasting her.

Their lips part, and he unties her wrists and inspects the skin to ensure the charms had stuck. He
lays down next to her on his side, and she rolls over to face him as he inspects her wrists for any
marks.

"You touched me a lot more once I was restrained, does being in control help you?”

He turns her arm over as he nods.

Okay good the cushioning charm held and there are no marks on… WHAT THE FU- oh no wait,
that is only a freckle. Phew.

“I think so. It takes away the fear if I am the one making the decisions.” He releases her hand, and
raises his head to rest his arm underneath. She curls in closer, leaving only a few inches between
their faces. The flushing is starting to go away, but her face looks different than it normally did.
More relaxed, smooth, vulnerable maybe.

“And you enjoyed that?”

He nods and lowers his head to kiss her knuckles.

“You ginger snap are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“Your exception?” She smiles and moves a piece of his hair off of his forehead.
“Yes, always my exception.”

“You're mine too.”

How did my life become this?

He notices the goosebumps on Ginevra’s arm, and sits up to grab the duvet and wraps it around
her.

“You sure you’re okay with me sleeping with you?” She sits up and grabs a pillow, placing it
underneath her head.

“Yes. I want you to. As long as you do. I am a nightmare to sleep with apparently. Both Draco and
Hermione say I sleep talk. I think they are full of shit but…”

“You sleep talk Theo. I heard it those couple of nights we all slept in Hermione’s room.”

He looks down at her as she smirks at him.

“Shit well then sorry.”

She shrugs and pulls the covers up farther to right below her neck. “Doesn’t bother me. I find them
entertaining. You must dream you are Langster Hughes pretty often.”

Fuck. If I am the one who ratted myself out to her…

He grabs his belt, which is still unlatched and pulls it out of the loops of his trousers. Feeling the
exhaustion setting in quick. He needs to sleep for at least a few hours before starting up their
research again, and also preparing Draco for the spectacle tomorrow night.

He starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Can you hand me a t-shirt from the drawer next to you?”

“No.”

The hands on his shirt stop as he looks down at her to see the predatory smile back on her face.

“Why?”

“Because I want to see you. Not for sex, or anything. I won’t even touch you I promise. I think it
would be a good test for you.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at her which she laughs at. That was a bollocks reason she just threw
together.

“No touching, or cuddling, or any of that shit?”

“None of that shit I promise.”

Theo lets out a huff and finishes unbuttoning his shirt and takes it off, throwing it on the floor next
to him.

He doesn’t look over at her, but also doesn’t cover his chest or lay down. He just stares ahead,
trying to make himself comfortable with this vulnerability.

“You are very handsome Theo.”

“Ugh thanks.”

He lays down slowly and covers himself up with the blanket they are sharing, and after a few
minutes of pulling himself together he turns to face her again.

She moves a bit closer, and lets out a satisfied noise as she buries her face into the pillow. Theo
grins as he watches her make herself comfortable. In his bed.

In my bed.

In my fucking bed.

THE Ginevra Weasley is in my fucking bed, and she thinks I’m handsome. And has the best cunt in
the entire world that she lets me control. And likes it when my cock is in her mouth.

Like… what the bloody hell has my life become.

It has become… become enjoyable.

Am I happy?

"Hey Teddy?"

He blinks, and looks back over to her.

"Yeah?"

She looks down at his left hand resting in between them.

"You have to stop doing shit like this okay?"

"Shit like what?"

She pulls her arm out from under her and spreads her hand next to his. Placing the piece of himself
close to the area it used to be.

"You matter."

She looks up at him, and the softness is gone from her beautiful face. Instead he sees that
determination. That confidence that radiates in her words, that demands attention and acceptance as
fact by others. That shows how strongly she believes in what she is about to say.

“Stop giving and doing things that hurt you that no one needs you to do okay? We all have lost
enough by force because of this fucking war. Stop handing yourself out… pun NOT intended…
 like it doesn’t matter, because it does. You do. To me, to the ferret, to Hermione. We all need you.
You matter Theodore Nott. Believe it and start acting like it.”

Theo gulps loudly.

I matter to her.

I matter to someone.

Someone like her too.

Her, and Hermione, and Draco.

“Okay. Thank… you.”

The fierce look fades, and the soft smile returns as she moves forward and hovers in front of him,
until he moves the small space left to kiss her gently. She pulls away as she curls up in the pillow,
beginning to shut her eyes, but Theo can’t take his eyes off the exceptional witch.

I love being alone with you.

“Hey… Ginevra?”

“Yeah Teddy?”

Her eyes open halfway, and he braves himself to continue.

“Can I… hold your hand?”

She pulls her arm out from under her, and places it flat on the mattress.

Theo moves closer, and grabs her left hand with his left and intertwines their fingers before falling
back into his pillow, and falling asleep with a smile on his face for the first time in his entire life.

Chapter End Notes

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram
 Antonin
Chapter Notes

Once again, I can assume from the title that you all are aware this chapter is dark.
TW!! - include shared perspective of a man who enjoys manipulating, abusing
sexually, mentally and emotionally. VERY disturbing scenes.

If you are not comfortable reading this chapter, there is a summary of key events
without the disturbing details at the end in the chapter notes.

Please do whatever you need to do for your mental health.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“We believe it is promising. It is from the two spies that have the greatest track record of giving
leads that come through. If Ginevra Weasley is there, is the protocol still to keep her alive and
bring her directly to you? Or has it changed since you are gone?”

Antonin sits back in his chair, and gulps the last of the liquor in his glass. It was shit. Cheap and
watered down no doubt.

“I will be back for the spectacle tonight. So the protocol stands in place. Bring her to the house if
the lead does procure her.”

“Yes sir. Anything else you are in need of?”

The boy really was a twat like the little Malfoy said. A kiss arse if he had ever seen one. He didn’t
like him. But he could use Flint and his obvious desire to please him to his advantage.

He looks over to the clock in his rented room. It was almost time for his appointment. He needs to
get going.

Soon my pet…

“Sir?”

Antonin shakes his head, and looks back at the image of the tosser in the fireplace. “That is all Mr.
Flint. Contact me as soon as you have something.”

He cuts off the connection and stands to grab his robes. He transfigures the piece of clothing into
something more appropriate for the occasion, and walks out of his room.

100 days. It has been exactly 100 days since he had it, enjoyed it, trained it. He was losing his
damn mind.

The last three months had been the worst of his life without it. The moving images had held him
over for some time until Nott’s fucking machine fried everything. Ever since then he had been
spiraling. Even he can admit that.

He needed it. And not just a quick interaction at a spectacle, or an opportunity to stare and watch it
be placed on the fucker’s knee, like it belonged to him. Like it wanted him.

You want me.

You belong to me.

Me.

Always and forever to me.

He sinks his hand into his pocket that holds a piece of it. To calm him down. He walks down the
stairs and out the door towards his appointment. He would never be coming back to this country
after his business here was done. The food, the accent, the animals and bugs fucking everywhere.

Why anyone chooses to live on this continent is beyond me.

Don’t worry pet, I will never bring you here.

The office address that he had finally found was four blocks away. Luckily it wasn’t raining and
the pavement wasn’t crowded with the after work traffic just yet.

The light before him flashes green, and he and two other blokes cross the road. Antonin knows
they are here. He had seen it in it’s mind. Along with part of the name it had given them.

After the Battle of Hogwarts, and knocking out the other Death Eater in the way, he had taken his
prize back to base and enjoyed it for the first time before even meeting with his Dark Lord about
it’s capture. He recognized it from a few years earlier. Recognized the scar that was definitely from
him running along it’s abdomen. It was the mudblood. Harry Potter’s mudblood.

He had dragged it half unconscious in front of his Dark Lord who was in the midst of anger after
winning the battle but losing Harry Potter once more.

This will change everything.

He pushed it down on the ground in front of Voldemort who stopped and stared at his prize for a
few moments. Completely silent. Until Antonin saw a large smile form across his face.

“The mudblood. The mudblood…”

“Yes my Lord. I was able to capture it before it apparated with the female Weasley and the Giant.”
His pet on the ground glared back at him, and started fighting the restraints he had placed on it.

Yes… it has fight in it. Just how I like it.

“And where did they take Harry Potter mudblood?”

Voldemort moved closer to it on the ground, his hope showing throughout his face that Antonin
noticed looked different than before the battle. More pale if that was possible.

The Dark Lord lowered himself to it’s eye level, and tilted it’s head to make his prize look at him
with his wand.

“Surely my dear, you know fighting is futile. Tell us where you have taken him, and I will make
this… better for you.”

Instead of cowering, or begging, or even crying, it glared right back at the most powerful wizard in
the world and spat in his face. “Never!”

The spit and blood mixture made Voldemort jerk back, surprised by its action. So was Antonin.

Fuck… this is going to be fun. If he lets me have fun with it before he kills it.

There was a moment of heavy silence before his Dark Lord's face contorted, and Antonin’s prize
was flung back against a wall, cracking its head off the surface before falling to the ground.

“You dare put your filthy blood on me?! You dare deny me!”

The powerful wizard moved across the room and Antonin followed, watching as his new pet tried
to raise off the ground, spitting more blood out onto the floor.

As it looked up it scowled and then balled its fists at its side. The next thing Antonin knew, a large
chair was flying across the room at him and his Lord. Antonin turned and stopped the object
seconds away from colliding into them.

It knows wandless magic.

He heard a noise, and turned back to where his prize had been, to see it opening its mouth and
reaching towards his pocket that held its wand.

This one is more than a fighter…

“Petrificus Totalus!” He yelled, and watched it fall to the floor, unable to move, unable to do
anything other than move it’s eyes to look at them as they surrounded it. They were entrancing
eyes.

Like fire. Even just with its eyes it portrays how it wants to burn us all.

“Legilimens!” His prize started convulsing on the floor as the Dark Lord searched for what he
wanted in its mind.

“Crucio!” Came another voice from behind him. He turned to see Bellatrix bouncing on her heels
pointing her new wand down at it.

They better not break it… I want to do that.

Voldemort blinked and the rage that had dissipated came bubbling back to the surface. He let out
an angry scream and waved his wand, sending his deadly magic out into the room. “It is gone!”

“What is my Lord?” He moved in between him and his prize.

“The battle! The information on where they have taken Harry Potter! She has been obliviated!”
Another large crackling of dark magic almost hit Antonin. “We need that information. We need to
know where they have taken him, and what else they are hiding.”

Antonin nodded his head. The boy had escaped again. Somehow, the fucking git always escaped.

He watched his Dark Lord look back down behind him at it. No one dared to speak or move.
Letting their leader figure out their next move.

He noticed the powerful wizards hand flinch slightly. Even though they had won, and made The
Order retreat, it had not been what the Dark Lord had wanted.

It was not the end he had planned on, but just another move towards victory.

“I need the information they are trying to hide from us.” The Dark Lord stared down at his prize
still glaring up at him.

“I will take the Mudblood my Lord I…”

“No Bellatrix, I need her to stay alive.” Voldemort’s eyes shifted to him. “Find it. Bring it back.
Break her.”

Fuck yes.

“With pleasure my Lord.”

He had taken it back to the house sanctioned to him for easier transport between countries after
placing the magic suppressant within its body.

He hadn’t listened to his Dark Lord exactly. He had enjoyed it first. What was a day or two wait
for a war that had been raging for years?

He hadn’t expected what ended up happening next though.

Antonin had planned on using it thoroughly, then diving into the problem of the missing memory.
Hopefully finding that it had not been an obliviate, but some other spell or form of magic that was
easily reversible. After he had retrieved it, he would hand it back, and let it die after it had given
them the information they needed.

That was his plan.

And then, he had it. Then it had fought him. Punched him, kicked, bit, cursed. He fell in love with
the game. He had to win the game. Win it. Own it. Have it. Forever. His and only his.

Control it to want him, need him.

He had to see it like that. He had to transform his little pet into something truly one of a kind.

And he had been too bloody successful.

Because it was one of a kind now.

There was nothing like it in the world.

But now it wasn’t fucking his.

It was the pricks.

The prick had it.

Antonin looks up to the street signs, and sees the name matching the one on his piece of
parchment. He turns left and pulls the collar of his coat up around his neck, to try to keep the cool
air out.

Antonin had been furious with himself for not seeing the little Malfoy as a threat to everything he
wanted, until it was too late.

He should have seen it. He should have prepared for it. Created some veil of a relationship with the
bastard so he would be more amicable to his desires to stay in contact with it.

He had convinced himself that he just needed to find the right leverage with the prick. Money,
notoriety, enjoyable secrets of his little creation. But nothing had worked. It had confused him to
no end. He fully believed his pet would show up to the first spectacle either dead, or barely alive
after being at the mercy of the Malfoy heir.

But it hadn’t. It actually looked… better. And the Dark Lord had said it’s mind wasn’t the mess of
confusion and splintered thoughts that it had been when it was in his possession.

Thankfully, he hadn’t had to watch the man touch what was his. And from what he had said, it
sounded like he wasn’t touching it at all to his delight. He had ended that first spectacle smiling
from ear to ear. It was only a time issue now. It was still his. He just needed to either find the
fucking Weasley, create the potions needed to fulfill the Dark Lord’s two desires, and figure out
what Draco wanted badly enough to make him share. He had goals to work towards. Things to
accomplish.

But that had all been destroyed by the altercation with the prick he was very unprepared for that
took place after the spectacle. Antonin didn’t like being caught off guard. He gave most of his
energy to being prepared for any situation and outcome, trying to ensure that they all played out to
his personal benefit. He thought he had done that with Draco. He thought he was prepared, but then
the almost man had denied him. Then put him on the spot with its fucking name. Then had literally
attacked him, and spit words that made absolutely no sense at him. Antonin had been so shocked,
he hadn’t lost it until he had apparated back to his home.

And then to make matters worse, fucking Amycus Carrow (glad the bastard was dead) had to go
off a few days later about how he knew the Malfoy prick was definitely using his pet. Antonin
thought at first the Death Eater was saying that shit to get him to react, but then Greyback and
Rabastan had agreed. Saying that the lust and hate Bellatrix had seen in the prick years ago was
finally getting its release. Antonin had attacked both of them.

He still tried to convince himself it wasn’t true. But then, he had seen how Malfoy was with it at
Hogwarts. He had seen his hands touching it. Never stopping some contact between it and himself
as it sat there on display like the prize it truly was. And that image was what convinced him the
fucker was using it, training it for him now.

Because he saw that Malfoy recognized it too, as he placed his pet to flaunt, to envy, to desire,
while having it face him and only him the entire fucking time. He knew its value. And he was
claiming it as his own.

Not for long…

He needed to do something. Anything that would remind him of it. Make him feel closer, in control
of it, in some way. Whatever way that was.

He walks up and sees the number on the stone building to his right, and the large iron plaque above
the door.

Fucking finally…

He opens the door, noticing his hand is shaking slightly on the handle from anticipation. From
excitement. From adrenaline.

A small bell alerts the female behind the desk of his presence. The waiting room is empty. He
walks over and the young female smiles up at him.

“Hello, do you have an appointment?”

“Yes. Anthony Dolohov.”

She looks over to a sheet and nods before handing him a clipboard of parchment and a writing
utensil.

“You are right on time Mr. Dolohov. Please take a seat and fill out these forms and the doctors will
be with you as soon as they can.”

He nods his head and sits down. He waits until the female turns from the opening, and waves his
wand over the paperwork, placing a spell that would make anyone who touches them forget about
their purpose.

His leg is bouncing up and down as he stares at the door.

Open, open, open. Please open. I need to see it in you.

Would they have its hair? Its olive skin color? The freckles? The eyes? The mannerisms? The
voice?

Oh please have the voice.

The door opens.

“Mr. Dolohov?”

Antonin looks up to the older man in front of him, and his chest caves in at the sight.

Pet…

“Dr. Wendell Wilkins.” The man with its hair, its freckles… extends his hand to him. To him.
Antonin takes a moment to pull himself together as it becomes hard to breathe and shakes the
man’s hand. “Pleasure. I see this is your first time with us. Come, follow me and we will get
started.”

Wilk- and Australia. That was all he could put together when entering its mind. He didn’t know if
his pets mind was so chaotic and fractured because of something specific or if that is how it had
always been. But it was a mess to say the least. Usually images and feelings of him were thrust to
the forefront, causing everything else to disappear behind the loud and all consuming presence of
him.

Just the way I like it.

I own that as well.

Even when he had been able to work past its more recent memories, it all collided and combined
together. He had seen it obliviating its parents. He had seen it say Australia and begin to say what
he believed to be their new names.

He had been right.

And ever since it was taken away from him, any free time he had, went to finding them.

And he had.

The man with its hair and freckles walks him into a room with a large white chair with many tools
and fixtures surrounding it.

“Please have a seat, my wife will join us shortly, and we will discuss what brought you here
today.”

He moves and sits in the chair, never taking his eyes off the man. Holding himself back from
reaching out to touch and feel if his hair is the same course strong feeling as its is.

He doesn’t though.

That would be insane.

“You and your wife are both dentists?”

The man with its freckles pulls a chair up next to him, and shoots him a warm smile.

“We are. Started our practice together right after university. Live together, work together, and still
never get sick of her.” He chuckles at himself and takes the clipboard from Antonin. He watches
the man's face change and blink slowly before setting the paperwork on the counter and turning
back to him.

“How long have you been married?”

“It will be 31 years next month.”

His eyes aren't like his pets. They are green, but as he is speaking, he watches them flash with
something similar that he had seen in its eyes at the beginning.

He catches himself smiling.

The door opens and he turns to see a female. Antonin knows who she is immediately.

“Hello, sorry for the wait, Dr. Monica Wilkins.”

She extends her olive skinned hand towards him, and he maybe a little too quickly takes hold of it
and shakes. Her skin is soft, and her eyes are just like his pets.

“Anthony Dolohov. Your husband was just telling me about your upcoming anniversary.”

The woman beams at him, and then looks over to her husband endearingly.

I remember that look…

“31 years, 31 seconds. With him it is hard to tell the difference.”

Antonin laughs and so do they as she turns on the light above him, and pulls the chair up next to
her husband.

“I understand.”

“Are you married as well?”

Its mother looks down at his hand to the missing piece of jewelry that muggles used for some
fucking reason he doesn’t understand.

“Not married no. But I have a love that makes time fly and stand still at the same time.”

“What is her name?”

This is going to be fun.

Antonin feels his hands getting hot, and a smile form on his face as the question is asked. At all
that he holds. At the power he has.

“Hermione.”

Its father starts organizing a couple of tools on the tray next to the chair. One looks very familiar to
Antonin. He had used a very similar one on it a few months ago. Antonin watches the man’s face
for any evidence that the name he had recently learned himself, was having some effect on him.
Nothing. He looks up at the mother to see her smiling.

“Oh I have always loved that name! I read The Winter’s Tale every year, and have always said that
if I had a daughter her name would be Hermione.”

“What are the odds of that?” He says smiling up at the woman who shakes her head in agreement.
“Did you have only boys then?”

“No, no children for us. We’re always too busy with the practice to ever make the time.”

Oh my little pet, you are an extraordinary creature…

“Now what can we do for you Mr. Dolohov?”

Antonin reaches into his front pocket, and pulls out the piece of it he always carried with him.

He places the tooth down on the tray as its mother comes to sit by her husband again.

“I lost a tooth.”

Its father pushes his glasses up his nose, and reaches for the tooth. He picks it up and brings it to
his face, inspecting the part of his pet.

Antonin feels his body come to life in a way it hasn't in months as he watches the two of them look
over the part of them unknowingly.

Yes… fuck you have no idea how bad I needed this.

“Can you lean back Mr. Dolohov, and open your mouth…” ‘Open your mouth pet…’ “So we can
see the area, and figure out what your best options are?”

Antonin nods his head and sits back. Its mother moves the light to his face, making him squint at
its brightness. It’s father leans in, and uses one of the metallic tools to pull back his cheek, and see
into his mouth.

He had placed a numbing charm over the area before he had pulled his own tooth to make the hole
needed for what he wanted. The numbing charm had to be kept in place due to the fucking pain.
Who knew it hurt that bad? No wonder his pet had blacked out afterwards.

“My, my… dear see if you agree, but this looks very damaged. See the tissue? And the gum
color?”

Antonin feels a cold poke in the open area.

“Yes I agree. Mr. Dolohov what exactly happened to cause this?”

Antonin shrugs. “Accident. Can you put the tooth I brought back in?”

Both of the doctors above him freeze. Like he had said something wrong.

Isn’t that what dentists do? He had done research to prepare for this event. To make sure he didn’t
say or do anything that would cause more problems. He had enough problems. Between the
fucking potion not working for some damn reason, his pet belonging to the Malfoy bastard, Flint
trying to crawl up his arse and not yet finding the female, he didn’t want to make his life worse. He
wanted to make it better. Someway, somehow needed it back in his life. In whatever way he could.

He needed it to be a part of him again.

“Ugh… well Mr. Dolohov, we are not able to place teeth back into the mouth once they are
extracted like this one has been. It is dead, and will continue to rot in the mouth causing major
health issues for you. What we can do is place a fake tooth in the slot and…”

Antonin pulls out his wand. “Imperio!”

Both parts of it above him freeze. Their eyes go foggy and they stop blinking as the curse works
over them.

“You will place the tooth into the hole and secure it. Now.”

He sits back as both start moving for tools without saying another word.
Fuck… This is exactly what I needed.

He closes his eyes and fights back a smile as they start working in his mouth. Both are completely
silent. He recognizes his mistake in closing his eyes, and opens them again. He only has a little bit
of time left before he needs to be back for the spectacle. He only had a few more moments to take
them both in. To take in his pet through them. He looks at the splatter of dirt-like marks under the
man's eyes and across his nose.

Just like my pets.

The man's hair falls in between them as he moves closer to place some type of goo substance into
the hole in his gums.

Antonin reaches out, and touches it.

Just like my pets.

He turns and looks into the dark brown eyes of the woman. They don’t spark. They look similar to
how its eyes had looked for the last couple of months it had been with him.

Just like my pets.

I can see it in both of you.

It is like I am with it.

The man grabs the piece of it, and moves it into his mouth. Antonin feels a pressure, and watches
them both maneuver tools he doesn’t recognize in and out of his mouth.

Some make noises, some don’t.

They don’t make a single sound.

Then, way too quickly for Antonin’s liking, they both sit back and stare straight ahead. Waiting for
their next instruction.

It was his favorite curse. The imperius. Anyone with any semblance of creativity would agree that
it gave one the most… options.

Antonin grabs the mirror on the tray, and opens his mouth.
There you are my pet.

Always, always with me.

It is much smaller than his teeth. There is a large gap on both sides and it isn’t at the same height
as the other ones next to it. It is also a brighter color. He is happy to see how easily recognizable it
is that the tooth does not fit. Because it shouldn’t. It was his pet. An addition.

He takes one last look at the two people who had changed his life in an immeasurable way.
Thanking them in his head for the incredible gift they had unknowingly given him.

Antonin stands and opens the door.

For a moment he thinks about killing them.

They are muggles for fuck’s sake so it wouldn’t be an issue.

But that was too… simple. Too uninspired.

It would be ending a new game he was finding himself truly enthralled with.

No he won’t kill them, not yet. He was much more creative than that.

He raises his wand and casts the same spell his pet had years ago on the couple, taking away this
memory forever. Claiming it as his own. Then shutting the door and leaving.

He glances at the clock above the doorway.

He needs to get back to the manor. He was running late.

I am so excited to see what you think of my newest change pet.

Tonight.

Tonight.

We will be together again.

…..

“And you are sure this one will work?”

Theodore Nott Sr. holds the large vial up in front of him as they walk to the drawing room.

The side of his mouth was starting to hurt. Antonin casts the numbing charm before answering.

“It worked on its blood. I think the issue last time was the dosage was too small. I tested it on
almost all the blood I have from it and it worked.”
It had to work this time. It had to. There was no reason for it not to. At least not a reason he could
control. He knew Nott was saying the spell correctly. He knew without a doubt the potion was
correct. So the only other option was… was that their Dark Lord was too weak to do what he
needed to do to accomplish it again. Even with the help of the potion and the spell.

Which if that was the case…

“Good. I need these fucking spectacles to end. This research consumed too much of my time.”

“I agree.”

They walk into the drawing room. Most of the usual crowd is already present. He notices Lucius
Malfoy leaning heavily on his cane back behind the other Death Eaters. He sends his old friend a
sneer.

The man infuriates him.

He had went to him back when his pet was taken away. Trying to get the shadow of a man to get
control of his fucking son, and make him share what rightfully belonged to him.

The man had stared right through him, drinking what had to have been his twelfth drink. Ever since
his wife had betrayed them and was subsequently killed, he had disappeared. Whether it was from
the string of cruciatus curses, or the loss, or both, Antonin didn’t know. But it pissed him off to no
end that the man wouldn’t do the simple thing he had asked him to do.

“Ah Antonin, welcome.”

He turns to his Dark Lord and kneels before him.

The shaking now was up into the powerful wizards arms. He tried to hide it with his snake curling
around his torso and upper chest, but he still noticed. They all noticed.

Some were waiting. Many were questioning.

No one except for a few had a clue though.

“My Lord.”

He raises and takes his place on the platform next to Voldemort and so does Nott Sr.

You are going to be so surprised pet.

I have it all planned out.

Everything ready to initiate you back to me.

A few minutes pass before he hears footsteps coming. His hands heat up immediately, and start
fumbling in front of him.

Then it walks in being dragged by the prick, and the feeling grows, extending into every area of his
body. When he left this room, it would be with it. He would have it back again.
Out of habit, his hand digs into his pocket, trying to find the piece of it, but then he stops and
remembers.

A smile forms on his face as he moves his tongue over the dip in the back of his mouth. Over the
piece of it. Feeling it. Tasting it.

Always mine now.

Its small yelp as it is thrown to the floor in the similar piece of fabric Draco always brought it in
makes his eyes connect with it again. It doesn’t look at him. It never looks at him.

He blames the Malfoy fucker.

“My Lord.” The almost man kneels and raises. He looks different. Antonin doesn’t know what
exactly it is, but something isn’t the same about the prick. He looks tired. Hopefully his pet was
giving him a hard time. “I have some news that will please you. I believe I have started to bring the
memory back into her mind.”

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

His eyes widen at the blondes words. He had… He had done it. He had actually done it? How the
fuck had he been able to do it?

Voldemort sits up in his chair and smiles down at the scene. “Explain young Draco.”

Draco moves to stand next to his pet and grabs its forearm, yanking it to stand next to him.

“I continued to search, split, and rectify my Lord. Every day I devoted time to learning and
studying her mind. The area around the skip, that is where I focused and continued to work to press
into the blank area, trying to find something lingering. It has been a very long and strenuous
process, but I believe it is working.”

Draco looks down at it. He watches as the blonde's body tremors, before he slowly blinks and
shakes his head slightly before turning his gaze back to the Dark Lord again.

He looks sick.

Maybe he is.

Good.

I hope he dies.

“Let us see if you are correct… Legilimens!”

Antonin doesn’t blink, doesn’t look away from his pet, as it starts making its lovely noises as it
falls to the floor.

This can’t work. This can’t be real. If Malfoy had succeeded, would Voldemort still give it back to
him after showing him his own success? Would he bind it to him after he was done with it like he
had promised at the beginning of all this shit?

Antonin holds his breath as its noises stop, and it curls up on the floor beginning to whimper.

He turns his whole attention to the Dark Lord's face. Waiting for it to show signs of something.
Anything.

Please be anger.

Please be rage.

Please be disappointment.

Instead, Antonins stomach falls as he sees the wizard smile bigger than he had in a very long time.

FUCK!

“It is only a small portion of the battle. Nothing of subsequent worth, but I believe I will be able to
procure you the whole memory within two months.”

“Yes….” The Dark Lord looks over his pet with anticipation. He is happy. Elated. Antonin has to
hold himself back from losing his shit in front of all of them. “I am, very pleased young Draco.
You continue to impress me with your power and dedication to the cause. But tell me, why does
the memory have a feeling of… thinness around it? Almost as if it lacks depth?”

“I am not entirely sure My Lord. As soon as moments started appearing they felt like that. I am
guessing it is due to the process of bringing them back. It makes them weaker, not as rooted as
others since they were pulled and still healing.”

Well that sounds sketchy as fuck.

But by the look coming over his Dark Lord’s face, he is the only one thinking this apparently.

“This is… You said within two months?”

Draco grabs his pet and pulls it off the ground again, taking away the lovely view of it’s chest to
his dismay.

“Yes or less. I am interested to see if moments start coming back quicker now that there is a
foundation to build off of.”

Voldemort nods and then looks over to him.

“Are you also going to please me this evening Antonin?”

He nods his head. “Yes my Lord.”

“Show me.”

Yes….

I have been thinking about this moment every fucking minute of every fucking day pet.

He basically runs off the platform toward it. It still is looking down at the ground rather than at
him. He would have to fix that first.

He grabs its olive skinned arm, and jerks it to him. The Malfoy, like fucking always puts up a fight.
Even making a small noise that captures Antonin’s attention.

I know you care for it too.

You may have them all fooled, but not me.

I know what it does to a man, once you have had it. It ruins everyone and anything else.

But your time with it is up.

Unlike last time, his pet doesn’t lunge away from Draco into him. He looks down at it with
disgust. At all the fucking hard work and training that had been destroyed. It would take quite
some time to get it back to the way it was before.

At the thought he tries to see if something was still in place.

He whistles the command, and to his utter delight, it moves to kneel in front of him instantly.

That is my good little pet.

Not all of you is gone.

He reaches out and twists its hair into his fist. Savoring the feeling, comparing it to the feeling of
its father from earlier today. It definitely got its hair from him.

He yanks his pet down to the floor, and swings a leg over to straddle its upper chest.
It turns its head to the side as its body starts to shake lightly.

With his free hand not deep in the hair, he pulls out the vial. This has to work. This time it has to
work. If it doesn’t… If it doesn’t he didn’t know what else to do.

He moves to hover right over it, placing his face inches away from its own. His body is shaking too
now. Both of them in anticipation of being together again.

“Look at me my pet.”

He whispers the words into its ear and he feels the body under him shiver.

Fuck I have missed you too…

It listens and brings those burning eyes back to him. He can’t help the smile that pulls across his
face. Without saying another word, he opens his mouth widely, and tilts his head as he pulls his
cheek out.

To give it the best view.

He watches the face scrunch for a moment as it looks into his mouth before awareness comes over
it.

It’s mouth drops open, and it stares unblinking.

It knows.

It recognizes.

“Now I will always have you with me my pet. Always and forever you will be mine. A part of me.
Does that make you happy?”

The shaking under him picks up and small whimpers start escaping through its lips. He watches its
body respond in excitement. He always loved to make his pet feel special. Because it was. It was
the most precious thing in the world to him.

“Oh and by the way…” He moves closer to the side of its face, smelling the fresh and flowery
scent of the hair. “The Wilkins say hello.”

Before his pet can react, he pries the mouth open and dumps the large vial down its throat. He
doesn’t want to add another fucking second of it not being his.

“Now Nott!”

The elder Nott presses his wand into the mark on its neck, and starts incanting the ritual.

Now only one more part. All that had to be done was for the Dark Lord to take control of the mind.
To possess it. To claim it as his own. To use it for his own needs and desires. To infiltrate The
Order they couldn’t fucking find anywhere. He had done it years before with a professor, but that
was before… before the destruction of pieces of him. Before he had been weakened. The potion
Antonin had been working on for over half a year was supposed to help, the magic suppressant was
supposed to make it easier. The spell was supposed to make it submit. Not a consistent battle of its
mind and his.

With all this assistance, the Dark Lord would be able to do this again. He would.

He has to.

He has to be able to do this.

His pet starts screaming underneath him, and he watches the veins in its neck tighten and come to
the surface of its luscious skin. It arches its neck and starts twisting under him, sending desire
coursing through his body.

Soon, so so soon pet. Everything will be back to the way it should be.

He watches its face carefully, waiting for the skin to change and distort at the entrance of the Dark
Lord. As he took over.

He waits.

It screams.

He waits.

It still screams.

He keeps fucking waiting, and it keeps fucking screaming.

All of a sudden the noises stop, and the body under him goes limp.

Is it dead? Fuck! No, no, no, not yet. It can’t die yet.

Before he knows what is happening, his body is sent flying off of it and into the air, stopping once
it smacks off a wall.

His face smashes into the floor, and he coughs twice before looking up. He sees many of the
people in the room in similar positions as him. Except for Draco and his pet. It is lying still on the
floor, with the little Malfoy hovering over it. His lips are moving, but the ringing in Antonin’s ears
stops him from taking in what the prick is saying to it.

He tries to stand but he is pushed back down to the floor as he sees his Lord rise, shaking hands out
in front of him, with his wand in the air.

“You have all failed me!”

The room is filled with the powerful wizards static charges of magic that are radiating from his
entire body.

It was his fault.

Voldemort was the reason the ritual wasn’t working. Antonin is sure of it. Positive. The potion
worked every damn time on the blood the last 5 trials. He had made it swallow almost 3 times the
needed dose just now. Nott had said the spell correctly. It was him. It was their Lord. Which means
he is fucked.

“Crucio!”

The curse hits him hard and he falls to the ground as it burns and sets him on fire from the inside
out. He hears other people in the room screaming as well, and opens his eyes to make sure his pet
isn’t one of them. It couldn’t take a cruciatus in its state right now. It would kill it.

He sees Draco pour something into its mouth, and watches the throat contract, and somehow he
smiles even with the pain coursing through his body.

My pet is okay.

It is still alive.

All hope isn’t lost.

We can still have it. We can still get it back.

The curse stops, and he gives his body a few minutes to work through the spasms that he knows
will continue for a little while.

Antonin raises to his knees and breathes in deeply.

“I am getting very tired of being disappointed when I have been so generous Antonin. That
generosity is over.”

He jerks his head up to his Dark Lord, who is trying to hide the fact that he is having to lean on the
chair arm behind him to stand up straight.

Was he going to kill him?

No, he can’t die. Not yet. It has been 100 days. 100 days. He needs to have it at least one more time
before it all ends.

He has to.

“Two weeks!” He spits the words out as another spasm takes over his right side. He has no plan.
No scheme. All he knows is he needs time. If he was given time he could work all this shit out. He
would come up with a solution. Find a way to get what he wants again.

“My Lord, give me two weeks. Two more weeks, and I promise, it will work. I must need a larger
dose, or maybe a potion to eradicate everything else in its system that could be countering the
potion.”
He lies. He just needs time. The Dark Lord would never be able to do what he had been wanting to
do ever since The Order disappeared. He would never be able to use it to infiltrate, and find his
way to Harry Potter again.

But he needed time to work a way out of this fucking mess.

Please work. Please be desperate enough to believe my arse.

It’s not like Voldemort had many other options. Antonin was the only one who held a Potions
Masters in his army. He was one of the few people who knew what was going on with the Dark
Lord, and why. He was the only one who could provide him with a solution. A new mind. A new
place for his essence to live once again until they figure out a better plan, or kill Harry Potter.

The Dark Lord slumps back in his seat a little too loudly. Antonin finally stands and keeps his eyes
on the wizard.

Say yes. I need you to say yes.

This can’t be how it ends for me.

“Two weeks. Two weeks Antonin. Two weeks Draco. That is it. Or there will be dire
consequences.”

He can’t control the smile on his face. He could fix this. He could come up with something,
someway to get what he wanted.

“My Lord… I…” Draco closes his eyes and shakes his head again before opening them. Something
was going on with the prick. “She isn’t stable after what just happened. Even with the potion. I, I
wish to please you my Lord, but if I curse or put stress on her body right now I am afraid it may
have dire consequences.”

Voldemort turns his attention to his pet and the fucker. He looks from Draco down to it still laying
on the floor, unmoving.

A few moments go by before he starts speaking.

“The memory sent earlier will suffice, make them worry. We will send one in two weeks. It will be
a surprise.”

Antonin watches Draco nod his head, and wave his wand to levitate his pet off of the ground, to
take it with him.

No, no, not yet… I can’t fucking take it much longer! I need it back! I need it more than anything!
 “Young Draco…” The almost man turns back to their Dark Lord. “I need the full memory. Two
weeks.”

The prick nods and takes what belongs to Antonin, out of the room.

The all encompassing heat begins to take over his body. 14 more days. 14 fucking more days
without it.

114 total.

Too many.

He stands up and takes in nothing that occurs for the rest of the evening.

Scheming, thinking, plotting out many different ways to get back what belongs to him.

He moves his tongue over it again.

14 more days.

He can figure this out.

Soon my pet. Soon.

Chapter End Notes

Antonin Dolohov goes to Australia and sets an appointment with Hermione’s

obliviated parents at their dental practice.
On his way, he recounts capturing Hermione and bringing her before the Dark Lord
for the first time where she tries to fight back.
He meets her parents, and ends up using the imperius curse on them. He has them
medically place Hermione’s tooth into a gap in his own mouth due to him pulling out
his own to make room for hers.
He leaves and obliviates them with plans to use them for mental games in the future.
Antonin travels to the spectacle where Draco shows the Dark Lord that he has been
recovering her memory. Voldemort checks and is thrilled to see the beginnings of the
memory of the battle in her mind.
Antonin is called on next. As he begins to pour the potion into her mouth, he shows
her the tooth and tells her the Wilkins say hello. He holds her down as Nott Sr. Says
the incantation, informing us that the Dark Lord was trying to possess her mind like he
had done to Professor Quirrill. Due to his weakened state by being down to only one
horcrux, he needed the help of a potion and a spell to hopefully do it. He is
unsuccessful again due to Hermione having her magic back even though they are all
unaware of this.
The Dark Lord becomes furious and releases his anger into the room. Antonin pleads
for two more weeks. Voldemort agrees, and Draco takes an almost unconscious yet
alive Hermione away as Antonin schemes to get her back.
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

No trigger warnings. After the last chapter, I thought we would need a bit of a break.

Also, Thinny art has been added to Chapter 37 of their first kiss. Please go give the art
and artist some love!

The hex hits her in the back, and she tries to stop her face from colliding with the chair, but it's too
late. She feels the rubbed raw skin of her cheek split open against the metal arm on her way down.

“Shit, you okay Hermione?”

She wipes the blood onto her forearm, and hisses as the sting of the sweat and blood combine into
the rashed and irritated areas covering her entire body. Standing up quickly, she turns and casts a
stupefy that Ginny barely dodges.

She is out of practice.

Dueling was never her strongest area. Hermione knew every spell by heart, but the instinctual
adrenaline-filled reactions that sometimes were called for within battle’s were something she had
to work to be at the same level as Harry or Ron. And she hasn’t fought with a wand in almost a
year.

“Seriously Hermione, I think we should stop. You are actually beginning to worry me, and we both
know that takes a lot to…”

Hermione casts a jelly leg jinx that gets Ginny this time. The redhead falls to the ground of the
balcony, but keeps her body angled towards her, successfully casting a hex that Hermione lowers to
the ground to avoid. By the time she is rising, Ginny is as well.

Both women are breathing heavily, drenched in sweat and dirt. They had been at it for almost an
hour. The muscles of Hermione’s arms and legs are beginning to shake and scream with exhaustion
and pain from going so long without being used to this extent.

Burn me. Burn it all. Burn it all away.

She loves the pain. Needs the ache. Needs to feel…

“Petrificus Totalus!” She yells, and this time Ginny doesn’t move quick enough, slumping to the
ground, hitting her arm off the small table on the balcony.

“Expelliarmus!” The gingers wand flies into her hand, and Hermione jumps on top of the girl
petrified on the ground, and places her wand at her neck.

“I win.” Hermione takes in a few large gulps of air before rising, and casting the counterspell.
“Best out of 11?”

She tosses her wand back at Ginny who is examining the growing welt on her upper arm from her
collision with the table.

“Teddy is going to have your head for thi- fuck!”

Ginny barely rolls out of the way of the jinx coming at her. The woman disappears behind the
settee, and Hermione ducks and runs behind the object in the way.

“Hermione, for Merlin’s sake you have to…”

“Stupefy!”

“Bloody hell…” Ginny places a shield charm just in time, backing up quickly as Hermione
continues to advance.

“Vibrosura!”

She yells.

Ginny blocks.

“Quasso!”

She screams.

Ginny shields.

“Infligo!”

Her voice cracks.

The spell flies to the right, not even close to Ginny.

“Acc…ido!”

Nothing comes from her wand that is shaking uncontrollably out in front of her. But more noises
keep escaping her lips.

Ginny doesn’t have to do anything.

“Okay, okay Hermione. You’re done! Between the showers, and the…”

“No!” She shakes her head at her friend as she screams, and tries to gain control over her trembling
limbs. “I, I need to fight! I need to keep fighting. I need this! I need to do something!”

“Expelliarmus!” Her wand flies out of her shaking fingers and into Ginny’s left hand. “You’re
done Hermione! This has gone too far.”

She leans forward on her knees and devours each breath, wiping her face on her shoulder to see the
cheek wound is still bleeding. Small dots of blood are also starting to appear on the irritated and
swollen skin that covers her body from earlier that day.
The shower water had been scorching hot. Leaving welts and raised areas over her flesh as it
poured, and poured, and poured onto her. But her body didn’t stop shaking; hadn’t stopped shaking
in hours for more than a few minutes here and there.

Even with the potions, it wouldn’t stop.

They weren’t enough.

Not after what she had experienced and learned.

Mum… Dad…

The shakes mixed with the hot pain of the water. It still hadn’t been distracting enough, it still
hadn’t been cleansing enough.

The skin wouldn’t rub off. She wanted it to come off. She wanted to shed it all, rip it from her
bones. Escape this body that she felt him all over, his claim on her.

Hermione had been in and out of the shower since Draco and Theo left yesterday. She hadn’t been
able to keep herself out of it. She needed it. Needed the allusion of being cleansed. Even though no
matter how hard she scrubbed, and pressed, and tore, it didn’t go away. The feeling of him never
went away. The image of the part of her in his…

‘The Wilkins say hello…’

She lets out an anger filled noise, and moves off the balcony back into the library. If Ginny
wouldn’t duel her, then she had to do something else. She had to do something.

The chair squeaks across the floor as she pulls it out to sit. Hermione grabs one of her note pages,
but finds her eyes not taking any of her writing in. She stares, and stares at the words, until she sees
Ginny placing her wand in her lap.

“I’m sorry Hermione. But they are going to save them. They are going to be safe.”

Safe.

Her parents… no… Monica and Wendell… no, now Lisa and Charley are going to be safe.

Draco and Theo got to them. The Order was placing them in the protection they had created over
the last year for the muggles and muggle born wizards and witches they saved.

They would be okay.

They would be alive.

But they will never be my parents again.

She had held onto a very small amount of hope when it was one obliviate. But two? Two complete
wipes. New identities. Names. Living locations. Desires. Backstory. Dreams.

That was all too complex to ever undo.

She knows it.

Her parents are gone.

Alive but not at the same time.

She would never have parents again. First Harry and now them. Her brother, her mother, her
father.

Gone.

Taken.

But it was more than that. He had taken her too. Taken the body she was forever trapped in.

She wants out of it. Needs an escape from the ever-present awareness of him she carries on every
inch of her skin. She needs to take it back. Take it back in more ways than just sex. In power.

“I’m going to go grab us some clean clothes, I’ll be right back…”

“One of Draco’s shirts please.” She doesn’t look up from her notes, but hears Ginny leave the
room.

She knows she needs to pull herself together. She knows her actions are manic and worrisome.
Hermione had gone from sobbing, to studying, to showering, to throwing hexes and jinxes with
such anger that she would be lying if she said a curse or two had not almost left her lips. Ginny was
trying to keep up with her quickly changing emotions. But Hermione was struggling to keep up
with herself and everything she was feeling. She needs to concentrate.

It had taken over an hour after the spectacle to get her vitals back down to a healthy level. Theo
had placed her in another coma to try to keep her from having a seizure. As soon as she woke up,
she knew she had lost it. Hermione doesn’t even remember all the things she said, and screamed,
and cried. Needing, and wanting, and hoping all of it could not be real.

Draco had fallen to the ground with her, wrapping her up in his safety and assurance. Letting her
lose it. Giving her the only thing she knew he could.

Ginny had apparently contacted The Order once Draco told them what happened.

The Order was in agreement to extract her parents, and place them within the system of safety areas
they had been creating for muggle born wizard and witch families. Draco had volunteered, assuring
his cover would not be blown due to the Polyjuice Potion he used to take to create fake leads. And
before she even had to ask, Theo demanded he would be going with him.

Draco couldn’t be alone. He wasn’t strong enough.

And that is why she needed to concentrate.

Because Draco needs me.

He needs her to find a way to help alleviate the toll the Dark Magic is having on his body.

He was falling apart.

Ginny walks back into the room, and Hermione pulls the sweat soaked shirt over her head, and
pulls on Draco’s soft and comforting t-shirt.

He was still grounding. More grounding than anything else.

You are the only thing I have left too.

Ginny leans up against the edge of the table next to her as she places her galleon back in her
pocket.

Neither of them talk for a while. Hermione can feel her friend's eyes on her, as she tries to focus on
the words in front of her to no avail once again.

“They met in university right?”

Hermione looks up and sees Ginny looking back at her. Her friend grabs her hand, making her drop
the piece of parchment, and squeezes it. Trying to get her out of her own head. Out of all the
darkness, and anger, and desperation that is trying to consume her.

“Yeah.”

The word comes out as almost a whisper. But the images and memories change at the
acknowledgment. She remembers the photo album with its ripped spine that highlighted their time
in university together. Her father loved to tell the story. She could still see him waving his hands in
front of him as his smile grew, and her mum rolling her eyes. Exclaiming that the man was
exaggerating.

“My dad was sitting towards the back of the auditorium, when the professor had asked a question.
The next thing he knew, a hand was shooting up so fast, he always said he was convinced my mum
had pulled her rotary cuff in the process.” The skin on her cheeks hurts as she feels the corners of
her mouth rising with the memory. “Unfortunately for my father, my mum had a pen in her hand,
which she accidentally flung backwards with force. My father swears it almost took his eye out, but
my mum says the mark was as small as one of his freckles. I tend to believe my mum.”

Ginny lets out a small laugh and nods her head.

“My father cried out in pain apparently, making her turn and rush towards him. The man fell to the
ground for Merlin’s sake, but as he looked up, he said he thought he had died because an angel was
hovering above him.”

Ginny’s laugh grows. “Bloody hell, don’t tell me he actually said that load of rubbish out loud?”

“He did!” Hermione crosses her legs underneath her in the chair, and moves to lean forward. “My
mum still helped him up and apologized too. But my dad said after that, after seeing her just once,
he knew she was the woman he was going to marry.”

It was a story that they still had hopefully. She told Draco what to change and what to keep.
Hermione wanted them to still have each other, even if she would never have them again.

She leans her head against the back of the chair, and looks up at the ceiling.

“You did the right thing Hermione. You saved them.” Ginny squeezes her hand in reassurance.

She knows she saved them. It was the logical choice to make. As she lay in the infirmary,
recovering from the curse Dolohov had almost ended her with back during 5th year, she had
resounded to her decision. The war was here. It was no longer a question of when. It was now. And
they were not safe. Especially due to her notoriety. They would be used against her, hurt or killed
to control and get to her, to get to Harry. She had to make sure anyone that could be hurt due to
being close to her was safe.

And if that meant taking her completely out of their lives, she would do it. She would sacrifice
anything to keep them alive, and happy, and in love.

She had been saying goodbye to them for years now. Becoming more and more solemn and
accepting of the fact that her parents were gone.

Now they will never know me.

The good nor the bad.

I think that is a small mercy really… The bad is too much anymore.

“The Order makes me pretend that I talk to Harry every once and a while.”

Hermione looks over to her friend. “They what? Why? What for?”

Ginny shrugs.

“To make it seem like he is still alive I guess. A lot of people think… think we aren’t… together
because of his nobility and guilt like he tried to pull with me back before you lot left to search for
horcruxes. They make me pretend to keep in correspondence with him. Having me come up with
stories for the other organizations they are trying to get support from. They even tried to get me to
say I was still dating him, but I gave them my second favorite finger to that fucking idea.”

She does the gesture Hermione is sure she must have done at that request.

“I always knew that death was a part of war. I knew I would more than likely lose people but… but
I never thought about losing people who are still alive.”

Ginny lets go of her hand, and hoists herself up to sit on the table. “I think the number of people we
lose that still breathe are higher than the ones we bury.”

Somehow she feels a tear fall down her rubbed raw cheek. The salt stings the small open wounds,
and makes heat flare into the area.

She is feeling a lot of things at the moment. Sadness, loss, grief, love, anger, guilt. Guilt for also
feeling… relieved. She would never admit it out loud. That she has continuously found herself
almost being thankful. Grateful to never have to tell her parents what had happened to her. Relieved
that they would never have to carry all this with them. That they were able to live an ignorant,
happy, in love life.

At least they still had each other. At least they would never know everything. Would never have to
feel the pain that would never leave if they knew what had been happening to their only daughter.

They didn’t need to know. They were better off never knowing.

Was it really that bad? Not for them. They wouldn’t be in pain. It was worth it.

Ginny jerks just as Hermione feels a burning in her own pocket. Both women dig to pull out the
galleon.

DONE

SAFE

D.M.

It was done.

They were safe.

She feels her body relax, and some of the tension she must have been holding dissipates.

Being safe was most important. That is what she needs to hold onto right now. Push everything else
back to be processed at a later time.

Hermione stretches her aching arms above her head, and winces as she feels the damaged areas of
her skin become hotter as they are forced to move.

“They will be back soon then.” She turns back to the table of notes, grabbing a quill and ink pot as
well.

“Hermione, you have been through a lot. It’s okay if you need to…”

“Ginny, I have been going through a lot for so fucking long. I am sick of sitting back and having
things done to me and the others I care about. I need to do something. So unless you want to go
back on the balcony, let me be.”

This she can control, she can save him, she can make this better.

They all were scrambling for some semblance of control. They had been for a very long time.
Because they hadn’t had any since this war began. Voldemort and his parents took Draco’s control.
Theo’s father took his control. Even The Order had stolen some of Ginny’s control. And Dolohov
continued to try to take her control. She knows the man got off on it. It was his favorite aspect of
her time with him.

The training, and punishments, and rewards, all in a battle for control. A war he thought he had
won.
But he didn’t. He had won a few battles, but ever since she was taken from him, she had been
piling win after win after win against the monster. Thanks to herself, and the help of Draco and
Theo. And she knows he can see it. Even if he isn’t understanding the depths of the changes taking
place in her. She isn’t the shadow of a girl she had been forced to be to survive him. And it was
driving him mad. Even more mad than he had been before. He thought he knew her, but he was
wrong, she knew him. Knew how his sick and twisted mind worked. Knew that he was falling
apart due to the lack of control he had over the situation he was in. That is what this last stunt of his
was. Another game of control for him to get off on. On her reaction. On her response.

But she wouldn’t give it to him this time.

What had he really accomplished? Her parents were now safer then they were before. Draco had
informed her in an earlier message that neither seemed to have any signs of injury or abuse from
the monster. Sure they had to be obliviated again and given a new life and new identities, but that
wasn’t a new problem either. The only thing that really changed was their names and area of
residence. And plus, what he had done to his mouth seemed to be infected from the one glance he
had shown her. It was causing him pain. Not her.

You accomplished absolutely nothing you fucker.

You have no idea who you are dealing with now.

What I have made in the places you took.

“Hermione, I don’t think occluding all of this is something you should be doing at…”

“I am not occluding anything Ginny. I am fighting back.”

The redhead sits down across from her as Hermione flips open her notes.

“Okay well, I never thought I’d be saying this but I’d rather fight with books than with wands if it
is against you, so how can I help?”

“I need these incantations placed together on a piece of parchment.” Hermione looks over to hand
her the books marked in certain areas to see Ginny holding her galleon in her hand again, and
casting the magic onto it with a smirk.

“Did they say something?”

Ginny looks up and tucks it back into her pocket. “Uhh no.”

She reaches and takes the first book from the stack and opens it, as Hermione turns her attention
back to her own research.

This wasn’t her first attempt to dissect Dark Magic and transform it into something else. She had
done something very similar with the Dark Mark when creating her D.A. galleons 6th year. Using
properties and specific aspects of the evil magic and turning it into something else. Something
helpful instead of hurtful.

Now she found herself once again doing the same thing. But this time, with the darkest magic
known to exist in the wizarding world: horcruxes. She already knew almost everything possible
about the sinister ritual, and also how to defeat it. But manipulating it, and making it into
something else that could save Draco, that was new.

But it was also necessary.

“These incantations? They all seem very different.”

Hermione looks up at her words as Ginny pulls out a cigarette and offers her one as well. She takes
it and lights them both.

“Yes well, knowing the stages of creating a horcrux, versus clearly labeling how to do it are two
separate things.”

And then there was the task of reforming the evil magic into something else. Slightly different but
with the same concept. If a soul could be split and taken out, she had no doubt it would be possible
to do the same with Dark Magic.

Ginny grabs the ink pot and a piece of parchment and starts transferring the incantations that were
underlined from many pages of her notes. Hermione pulls another book on the top of the stack to
her left, and flips until she finds the area that focused on the requirements for Dark Magic to be
successfully wielded. They both work for a few minutes before Hermione sees Ginny pull out her
galleon again and start casting the magic.

My galleon hasn’t gone off…

“Gin what are you doing? Mine hasn’t gone off once. So why do you keep pulling yours out? Who
are you talking to?”

The woman snickers down at her galleon before putting it back in her pocket.

“Teddy.”

Hermione pales immediately and looks back down at her book. “I don’t want to know do I?”

Ginny laughs. “Probably not. I bet his ears are beat red right now, and the ferret is convinced he is
getting sick from coughing over his own breaths. The man won’t play along though, not that I’m
surprised.”

She laughs as she shuts another book, and moves on to the next one.

Hermione was elated that Ginny had come back, and let herself open up to Theo in the way she
knew the redhead was longing to do. It is exactly what Harry would have wanted. No 18 year old
girl should stop herself from ever falling again after losing her first love.

“So you and Theo?”

Ginny shoots her a huge smile before turning back to the parchment in front of her. “Yeah me and
Theo.”

“I am happy for you both. I think you are really good for him.”

“He is really good for me too. Really, really good for me.” Ginny wiggles her eyebrows and pulls
out the galleon again.

Hermione had heard Theo’s door shut a little while after she had given them some privacy the
other day. And she didn’t see the pair again until hours later, both coming out of Theo’s room.

Theo had averted his eyes to the ground instead of meeting hers, while Ginny’s gaze never left the
man, looking at him in a way that said the redhead was sure she had made the right choice.

Other than that, Hermione hadn’t really been given the time to analyze them as preparing Draco for
the spectacle, having the false memory placed, and making herself ready for the spectacle as well
took precedence.

Do I want to know…

Oh stop lying to yourself Hermione, of course you do!

“So did you guys…”

Ginny meets her eyes, and waits for her to finish her sentence even though Hermione knows she
knows she won’t. The ginger finally caves in, and lets out a huff of smoke as she leans back. “No,
not all the way at least. You and I both know it’ll be a while probably before he is able to shag, if
ever honestly.”

“And you would be okay with never having sex?”

Hermione understands to some extent what Theo struggles with. She had similar aversions and
fears when first beginning with Draco. While hers were more based on the fear of not enjoying the
acts, Theo’s fear was rooted in any contact and trust with his body. It was a much deeper fear.

Ginny stops writing and looks at the table in between them. She doesn’t respond for a while, which
is a very un-Ginny thing to do, but it makes Hermione’s heart lighter. It is easy to see that Theo
means a lot to her. She took her time, and really thought about issues dealing with him.

“I like Theo for Theo Hermione. All the pieces of him. So if that is an area that I have to accept to
be with him, then yeah I would be more than okay with that.”

Hermione can’t stop the smile on her face at her friend's words. Theo deserved to be talked about
like this, and Ginny deserved to be free to feel again. Their story was truly beautiful.

“Plus the man is mind blowing at going down. Merlin that tongue of his can really…”

Okay, beautiful moment over.

“Stop! Stop! Ginny no! He is my best friend! Seeing each other’s arses was enough for the two of
us. I can’t hear this about him!”

Hermione covers her ears with her hands, and lowers her face to the table. Hoping not to learn
anything about Theo’s tongue, or any of the other descriptive details she was trying not to picture.
“Wait what?! You have seen my Teddy’s arse! I haven’t even seen that yet. How the bloody hell
did you get to see it?”

Hermione groans and shakes her head against the table surface. “It’s a long story. He saw mine by
accident, then I got even and saw his.”

How the hell did we get here? We are supposed to be researching Dark Magic for Merlin sakes.
Not Theo’s arse.

“Tell me everything!”

Hermione lifts her head up and scrunches her eyebrows together. “What?”

Ginny leans forward beaming at her.

“Does he have a nice arse? Or is it pretty flat? Can’t really tell with all those baggy clothes he
wears. Is it hairy? Oh bloody hell with his head of hair it probably is. I’m not opposed to a hairy
arse but I…”

“Ginny stop!”

The woman across from her sticks out her bottom lip in a pout, and falls onto the table in front of
her. “Oh come on! Just tell me about it.”

Hermione feels her galleon going off in her pocket, and pulls it out.

TAKE

RED’S

AWAY

D.M.

She rolls her eyes and looks back at her friend. “Only if you give me your galleon. Apparently you
are flustering Theo to the point that Draco is noticing.”

Ginny smiles and digs into her pocket, and tosses the coin at her. “Deal. Now tell me about his
arse! Fuck this feels like Christmas morning.”

She shakes her head as she puts the other galleon in her pocket. “It was a perfectly fine arse.”

The amusement in Ginny's face disappears, and she pulls out her wand before Hermione can even
react. “Don’t make me use my Bat Bogey hex on you again Hermione. Give me more than that.”

Damn it, you know she isn’t kidding. And that hex hurts. My right side is still sore from the two she
hit me with earlier.

“Okay fine! It… he, he has a nice arse. No hair which I was pissed about as I had a slew of jokes at
my ready if he did. It is tan like the rest of him. He has a large mole on one cheek. And… back…
dimples.”

She grinds the last words through her teeth. They are truly painful to say. But while she is in pain,
Ginny looks to be floating.

“That man… fuck he has no idea…”

Ginny’s eyes fog and look through her. Hermione has no desire to know what the crass redhead is
thinking either, and decides to leave her to her undoubtedly dirty thoughts, and get back to putting
her plan together. With the list of incantations, and a blood magic connection she thinks it will
work. But thinking wasn’t enough. This was dangerous, experimental magic that could have
catastrophic outcomes possibly. It was different from her work with the D.A. galleons. This
involved people. Lives. Draco’s life. Her life. Theo’s life. And if she was to guess, Ginny’s life as
well. She had to be sure before going through with the ritual.

Her thoughts are interrupted as Ginny lets out a humorless laugh. “This is bloody ironic for me you
know?”

“What do you mean?”

Ginny slides the finished list in front of her, and she looks it over.

“I was basically a horcrux for the noseless git for a year of my life remember? Now I am sitting
here copying down part of the process. Just ironic.”

Wait, yes she was. Her first year. Through Tom Riddle’s diary. She had shared her mind and body
with the madman for almost a year, and somehow fought him the entire way.

“Do you still feel it?”

Hermione looks up at Ginny with an idea forming in her mind. She needs to test this. At least the
incantations. And she knew Draco would put up a fight she really didn’t want to participate in if he
found out what she was planning on doing before she was ready to do it.

“What?”

“Do you feel a difference? Or some lingering effect from when he possessed you?”

Ginny averts her eyes, and looks down at the table. She had only been 11 when she was violated.
Hermione understood how hard it was to trust oneself again after having your mind questioned and
abused.

“I’m sorry Gin. That was insensitive. I can’t imagine going through that. Especially so young.”

The redhead moves in her chair, like she is uncomfortable for a few moments before looking down
at her hands.

“I can feel it. It… something is still there. Always has been. I told mum and dad, and they took me
to St. Mungo’s but no one knew what to do, so they sent me to some fucking mind healer who’s
head was so far up their arse they couldn’t help at all. It… It just became something we never
talked about. And I never told Harry, because well, he had enough on his plate, and the noseless git
was in his head apparently too. Didn’t need to include his girlfriend in all that you know?”

Hermione nods her head. Ron had told her through the letters they sent back and forth over that
summer that Ginny didn’t seem the same. And the next school year, she honestly wasn’t around
any of them a whole lot now that she is thinking about it. Ginny was probably suffering. Suffering
alone. And Hermione had no idea. She had been too distracted with her overloaded course
schedule, and the secret of the time turner, and creating a case for Buckbeak that she really hadn’t
paid attention to much else. She reaches out across the table for her hand.

“I am sorry I wasn’t there for you Ginny. I had no idea, but I didn’t really look either, and for that I
am truly sorry.”

Ginny shrugs, and takes a long drag of her cigarette. “I didn’t talk about it so how would you have
known? Plus I was the annoying younger sister of one of the Golden Trio members at that time.
Not the Chosen One’s chosen one. It got better, easier you know? I don’t even notice it anymore
unless I concentrate very hard.”

Theo said something similar to her about how the Dark Mark being branded on him had felt. He
said it changed something, he guesses in a way that is a much smaller version of what Draco is
fighting. Having the Dark Lord in your body left an impact. Left traces. Left Dark Magic.

“Just ask Hermione.”

She blinks and meets her friends eyes that are looking at her with amusement. “What? I… What do
you…”

“I see that big brain of yours working, and I know what you are thinking. So just ask me if I
wouldn’t mind if you tried some of these incantations out on me and my little bit of darkness.”

Ginny laughs and moves her chair around the table, and places it in front of Hermione before she
even has the chance to respond.

“I… The incantation won’t take the magic anywhere. We have to have a blood connection to
remove it I believe. But… but you should feel it. It should react in some way I think.”

Her friend slumps in the chair and nods her head, not looking like any of this bothered her in the
slightest.

“Well I don’t want you to take it. I think it adds to my amazing personality. Gives me some edge
you know.” She shoots Hermione a wink. “And plus I plan on taking some of the ferrets as well.
Not for his pale arse, but to take the load off of you and Teddy.”

Hermione rolls her eyes, and stands up with her wand in one hand and the piece of parchment with
the list of incantations in the other.

She was not going to waste energy on arguing with the woman. She knew she would lose anyways.
And she was right. Between the magic being split between the four of them, hopefully it would be
small enough to not create problems.

“Okay, well like I said, you should feel the incantation having an affect on the area. Like they
notice one another due to the spell calling for it, but that is all you should feel. If at any time it
hurts, or something feels wrong tell me okay?”
Ginny nods and salutes her. “Aye aye captain.”

Hermione laughs and starts to memorize the first spell on the list. “Please tell me you haven’t been
abusing that saying with Theo?”

“What if I have?” The woman smirks at her as she rests her head on the back of the chair, and
Hermione raises her wand.

“Ginny, I didn’t tell you about Langster Hughes so you would drive him nutters with it.”

“Oh trust me, he loves me driving those nutters of his.”

Yeah walked into that one didn’t I?

Hermione shakes her head, and lowers the parchment.

“Okay ready?”

“Yeap! Let’s save the ferret! Bloody hell, what is my life now?”

Ginny closes her eyes and Hermione moves her wand in front of her, slowly and carefully
pronouncing the spell that was a combination of a siphoning healing charm, and a large part of the
spell used to pull apart a Dark Magic filled splintered soul.

She watches Ginny’s face, which doesn’t change in the slightest.

She moves on to the next one.

Nothing happens again.

She moves on to the next one, and as the last syllables are leaving her, she watches as Ginny’s
mouth falls open, and she takes in a deep breath of air. Hermione feels it too. Feels her magic
working and being used to cast the spell.

It continues to feel that way.

“Ginny are you…”

“I, I’m fine. It is working. I can feel it.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, uncomfortable but everything dealing with that area of myself is.”

Hermione pulls back her magic, cutting the incantation, and Ginny leans forward opening her eyes.
“So that will work?”

Hermione sits back down in her chair, and rubs at her forehead. “It is much more complex than
that. I mean it is great that we found a spell that seems to work, but we honestly won’t know for
sure until… until we create the connection between us and him for the Dark Magic to travel
through and into us. Then we have to let it take an area. I am hopeful between the four of us, it
will… not affect us greatly, but we won’t know until…”
“We will be fine Hermione. If Malfoy could carry it these last few days on his own, between the
four of us, we will be fine.”

She hopes her friend is right. Getting Draco to agree was already going to be a hard battle, so she
needs to fully believe that she wasn’t making a decision rashly that could end up hurting all of
them. He would never agree if that was the case. She has to be confident in this. Whatever the
outcome.

The sound of the floo popping has both of the women turning their heads to the hallway.

Thank Merlin.

Ginny stands up quickly, and Hermione, much slower due to her screaming joints and muscles,
follows close behind her.

“Not a word of this to Draco.”

Ginny nods, and pushes ahead as they enter the room to see Theo handing Draco a potion, and him
swallowing it.

As soon as he sees her, Draco reaches out and wraps his arms around her, and sinks his face into
her hair, breathing her in deeply. She reaches up to his neck, where she can touch his exposed skin,
and massages the area while kissing his cheek and ear.

“They’re safe.” He whispers into the side of her face.

“Thank you. Glad you're still alive Draco.”

He doesn’t smile or respond to her words, but she feels his hands freeze as they graze over a
swollen and raw area of her arm. He pulls back and looks her over, eyes widening slightly as he
takes her in.

“Granger wha…”

“What the fuck Ginevra!?”

Hermione turns her head, to see Theo pull back from Ginny with a dumbstruck look as he inspects
the wound on her arm. Ginny turns and gives her an ‘I told you so’ look before pointing in her
direction.

“Your best friend decided to take out all her anger on me. Your balcony is a mess by the way.”

“I don’t care about my balcony! Hermione, why would…” His voice stops as his eyes meet her
body and take it in. “Shit, what the hell happened while we were gone?”

“Oh you know, crying, using all your hot water, dueling until we were both bleeding, trying to save
lives. You know, normal girl stuff. Oh and I got my coin taken away because of you Teddy.”

The man accios his healing bag, and begins to pull out a jar even though he averts his eyes from all
of them at her words. “Me? I’m not the one who wrote… those things.”

He tosses a jar to Hermione, and then pulls out another for Ginny, looking up to inspect the wound
again.

“No but you probably did exactly what you are doing now.” She laughs and moves to peck his lips.
He kisses her back without ever taking his eyes off the gash.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do? How you can… and in… such a small area… with only
a few words.”

Ginny smirks at his stuttering, and holds out her hand which he takes quickly.

“I’ll show you what you can do. We will give you guys some time.”

The redhead looks at Hermione and then up at Draco in understanding before moving to pull Theo
out of the room.

“No, you will let me make sure that fucking wound doesn’t leave a mark on you, and also…”

The door shuts behind them. Hermione turns her head back into Draco’s chest and breathes him in.

“Did you see any of the things she was writing him?”

“No.”

His arms squeeze her tighter, and she wraps both of her own around his neck, lifting her feet off the
ground.

“I can only imagine. I think she may have you beat with her crassness.”

Hermione smiles into his shoulder and waits for a comeback or prickish remark. But it never
comes. They hadn’t been coming for days.

I miss you…

She squeezes her eyes shut to stop from becoming emotional, and pulls away and starts
unbuttoning his robes. He leans his forehead against hers with his eyes closed as she does.

His skin is sweaty but freezing. Colder than the refreshing feel his skin usually had to it.

Hermione pulls his robes off and throws them onto the floor. He opens his eyes and looks at her
for a few moments, before straightening his shoulders and breathing in deeply.

“Sorry. Are you okay? Your skin…”

He reaches out to her cheeks she knows are rubbed raw from the tears, and her fingers digging into
them, and the irritation from the hot water from the shower, and the crash into the side of a chair.

“I’m okay.”

He looks like he wants to fight her for a moment, before the muscles in his face flex and he closes
his eyes. Trying to stop the wave of assault he must be feeling.

“I… have something for… you.” He places his hand into his trousers front pocket and pulls out a
small item, and hands it to her.

She looks down to see it is a photograph.

A photograph of her parents.

Of… Lisa and Charley now.

She doesn’t remember this picture. It must have been taken after she had obliviated them.

Her parents are standing in front of a mossy stone wall in the photo. Her father is leaning against it
with one of his arms wrapped around her mother, and an ice cream cone in the other hand. Her
mother is holding on to the arm around her, and leaning in to his side. Both are looking at each
other with one of the best things Hermione has seen in a long time.

With genuine, easy, happiness.

She knows it is wrong to take this choice away from them. To take herself away from them. But
she hadn’t really been given a choice in the matter. She had to make sure they were safe.

Anyone would do that for the people that they loved. Anyone would give themselves over, and
over, and over again. It was the part of love that was dangerous. Complex. When it was stripped of
the easiness. When it turned from a choice into action.

Sacrifice was the result of love faced with hard choices.

A tear stings the side of her bright red cheek.

She notices the ice cream. How there was only one cone in the picture. She wonders if that is
something they still did. Both being dentists, they did not indulge in sugary treats very often, but
when they did, it was always one cone of rum raisin shared between the two of them. Always.

It looks like they still have that too.

“Does that look like rum raisin ice cream to you?” She holds the picture out for him to view. He
looks closely and pulls the picture up towards his face.

“Could be, there is definitely something mixed in it.”

She looks closer as well and sees the very small, and barely noticeable little specks in the dessert.

Yes. Those black dots are now raisins. They have to be.

Her smile hurts her face again as she buries it into his chest.

How you are still leaving me speechless with everything you are going through…

I will be strong for us this time Draco. It is my turn to be strong.

“Thank you. Thank you so much for everything you have done and continue to do for me.”

His hands pull the fabric of her shirt up until his hands are on her bare skin. The touch stings, but it
isn’t something she is going to ask him to stop. He said he felt the best when touching her, when he
was near her.

“You look like them.” His lips speak the words into her neck, pressing gently with every syllable.
“Your father’s freckles and hair…” She tilts her head as his mouth comes up and follows her
jawline. “Your mother’s eyes and skin tone and…” His body jerks in her arms, and he slumps his
head back into the crook of her neck, placing some of his weight on her.

He tries to hide the moan of pain in her skin, but Hermione hears it. She hears, and feels, and
breaks with the noise.

“Let’s lay down.”

Her knees are shaking as she lowers them down to the floor together. She reaches over for the
blankets and pillows and moves them around him. She accios a potion of dreamless sleep as well,
but as she tries to take off the cap, Draco pulls her back into his lap.

“Touch me. Please… Remind me please, please.”

Hermione grabs both sides of his face, and brings his mouth to hers. Even his lips are
uncharacteristically cold. Hardened and chapped. Not the soft and confident feeling she had
become so familiar with. His arms squeeze her hard into his chest, taking her breath away. His
hands start moving, and pulling as his lips continue to press and mark. It isn’t for enjoyment, or
pleasure. He is touching her for survival. Draco’s hands yank her shirt up over her head, and
Hermione lets out a yelp as he undoes her pants in one quick motion, and yanks them down.

“Draco what are…”

“I need this. Please.”

His body is on top of hers, forming into her curves but every area of him is shaking. Trembling
uncontrollably. He lowers to her face and pulls her ear into his mouth while his hands move to hold
onto her hips with a bruising grip.

He wants her. He hadn’t wanted her for days. But now he was becoming desperate. Needing
something that apparently only she can provide him with.

“Okay.”

It isn’t sex.

It isn’t shagging.

It isn’t even fucking.

No it is none of those things.

It is rough and animalistic in nature. A desperate plea for something slowly being taken away. Like
trying to hold onto smoke. Futile in effort, but both of them were unwilling to stop trying.

It is silent, and raw, and emotional in all the ways neither of them wanted it to be.

“I’m sorry.” He says as she feels his aggressive, and full of pain with every movement, thrusts
stutter.

She is crying. He is crying.

This isn't us. This isn’t who we are. This isn’t who you are.

“I’m so so sorry…”

“I’m sorry too.”

He pulls out of her and lands next to her, turning his head away. Taking those stone solid eyes
away from her.

She turns, and takes the lid off the vial and holds it above him. A moment passes before he reaches
up and swallows the contents.

Hermione watches the plains of his back go from shaking, to a chill inducing stillness.

The door to the room screeches open a crack, and Hermione sees Crookshanks waddling over to
their makeshift bed on the ground.

She grabs the blanket they had both pushed out of the way as they tried to find who they used to be
in each other, and pulls it up around him.

Crookshanks waits patiently as she tucks the blanket around his form, before moving to the spot he
had been claiming the last few nights. Curling up right in front of Draco's chest, with his head
burying into his neck.

Hermione thinks maybe it is all in her head, but she swears she sees Draco's breathing become
easier.

She isn't sure how much time passes as she looks down at him.

At her world.

They deserved more than this. She wanted more time. More time with the man who wrote her
notes, and danced with her, and conjured a starry night sky. Who pushed her, and supported her,
and made her feel on fire.

I used to make you feel alive.

I want to always make you feel alive.

I want to make sure you get to live Draco Malfoy.

That anger that had been bubbling to the surface randomly ever since the spectacle starts to take
over again. Her skin feels like it is burning as she watches him breathe in his sleep, muscles still
twitching every once and a while.
Hermione pulls out her galleon and sends the message.

This war had taken everything away from her.

It cannot take him.

It will not take him.

She kisses the back of his head before shrugging on her clothes and wiping her face.

This war needed to end. Now. Soon.

No more waiting. No more sitting by, and letting other people tell her what should and should not
be done.

I am done with following.

She throws the smoke into the floo. Knowing exactly what she was about to do.

You have no idea what you created.

"Hey 'Mione. You okay? I tried flooing earlier and…"

"Ron, I need the floo connections of every organization and group we are in alliance with. Now.”
 Draco
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

“… No reason for him to have so many press contacts. And the funds being distributed make no
…”

“… lebolt isn’t going to be happy about…”

The feeling of something soft and fury underneath his chin.

“… 10 days. That’s it. We don’t have a choice to wait anymore, Dolohov will…”

“… now who is the third wheel Theo?”

“… I think… I think we should do it tonight. He is looking worse and…”

“… will he wake up?”

“Soon.”

“And you are sure it will work?”

“No.”

“Well shit that is reassuring.”

Draco squints his one eye not pressed into a pillow to see nothing but orange.
Fucking hideous orange taking up his whole vision. He takes a deep inhale, and the damn fur pulls
into his nostrils, and makes him begin to cough uncontrollably.

This is not the hair I want to end me…

He presses his face into the pillow as the coughing fit takes over, and sends jolts of pain
throughout his limbs.

Warm hands start massaging the muscles of his neck, and push the damn creature away from him.

“Here Draco, turn your head.”

He does as his witch tells him, and swallows vial after vial. They did take some of the fight away.
But they also took everything else away too. Even the good. It all just became numb.

Even more so than occluding usually did. This kind of numb left him unable to function.

But he would choose the numb anyway. Any minute. Any second. It is better than when the
potions wear off.

It feels very similar to how getting the Dark Mark had felt. His body had instinctually fought
against the magic he did not want anywhere near him or to be a part of him, like it is again now.
But he didn’t have the choice to fight it back then. He had to let it in. Had to give a small piece of
himself to save his father from Azkaban. To save his mother from being killed due to his
disobedience.

The magic had torn through him quickly and adeptly, knowing exactly where it was going and
rooting into him.

It was one of the most physically painful moments of his life.

Much more painful than the cruciatus, or the sectemsempra, or the other handful of curses he had
taken over the years.

But unlike now, the Dark Mark had been quick.

The scalding pain had maneuvered through him, and then the worst was over.

The brand hurt for months afterward. Adding to the shit his life had been during 6th year. But it
was bearable.

Yet this, what he has been feeling for days. It was a slow pain. A constant encompassing state.

The only break was the sleep.

And potions.

And more sleep.

And her.

He rolls over and sees the golden brown that helps and hurts at the same time.
“Hey handsome.” She says as she caresses the side of his face, and moves the fringe of his hair
back off his sweaty forehead. Draco knows he is an attractive man. He had been an absolutely
adorable baby, a sweet toddler, a cute kid, and now a handsome man. He knows this. But he also
knows that right now, there is nothing attractive about him. The large part of him that holds his
looks to a high regard for his self worth wants to push the beautiful woman away to make her stop
looking at him in this state.

She had seen him at his worst. Many, many times now. Too many times. More times than he ever
wished for her or him to experience. And yet she is smiling down at him in a way that shows her
sincerity.

“How long?”

Usually it was her in this position, and him touching her, and reminding her where she was.

“What is the last thing you remember?”

Oh fuck…

He closes his eyes at the images of them. Of him climbing on top of her…

“Two days.” She knows what he is thinking. She must know by his disgusted reaction. Draco nods
his head, and slowly sits up off the damn floor.

Theo and Red are sitting in the chairs around the desk with a multitude of items sprawled across
the surface.

“What is going on?” Each word hurts to speak, clogs his mind with the sound of his booming
voice, and the energy it takes to speak and form them.

No more talking. Speak only if absolutely necessary.

“Do you think you can walk to the library with us?”

Something is going on. She sounds too sweet, too… the thought escapes him.

What was I…

Granger holds out both of her hands, and he takes them, and to his dismay, actually needs her help.

Theo and Weaselette pull all the books and parchment off of the table, and walk out of the room.
He follows them, hand still in Granger's, into the library where he falls into one of the chairs again,
already exhausted. He notices there are three chairs facing the one she places him in.
Weird…

“The chairs?”

“Redecorating.”

Draco tries to roll his eyes. Even in his state he knows Theo is lying out of his arse. The man never
redecorated. Added to his gaudy decor, yes, but rearranging and redecorating? No. Never.

His brother didn’t like change. The kettle Draco had caught on fire and subsequently ruined while
Theo taught him how to make Granger’s tea had almost sent him into a fit. He had apparently been
using that same kettle since he learned how to make himself tea at the age of 10.

“Liar.”

He hears Theo scoff, as he sits down in one of the chairs. “Trust me, I’m not the liar. That would
be Hermione, because nothing about you is handsome right now. Dark Magic doesn’t look good on
you mate.”

“Fuck you.”

“Nope that’s my job.” Red sits down in the chair next to Theo and shoots him a wink, as Theo
shakes his head.

Draco can feel a part of him wanting to address the interaction happening in front of him, but once
again he doesn’t find it in himself for the energy. The ability to really think about what she had
said, and what it means.

“How are you feeling?” Granger bends down in front of him, and looks over the diagnostic chart
she casts between them.

“Not here.”

It is true. And it is getting worse. He is getting weaker even with the constant sleep, and potions.
The mission to obliviate her parents and place them into safety probably wasn’t the best idea for
him with what he was dealing with. But he had been adamant on going.

For her.

Always and only for her.

After having to stand and watch a-fucking-gain like always during the spectacle, and hearing what
the monster had whispered to her, Draco had to make sure it was done right.

Obliviation of that magnitude took skill. Took a wizard or witch practiced in mind magic. He
wasn’t leaving that in the hands of the fucking Disorder who had already proven to him how little
they cared about anything other than the larger picture as Granger calls it.

It had taken some convincing, but with Minerva fighting for him and Theo, they finally had
agreed.

Theo placed so many potions in him, he was actually nervous he wouldn’t be able to place the
obliviate with success.

But somehow being closer to her parents helped. Helped in a similar way, but much smaller than
how being near their daughter helped.

She really did look like them. A combination of the two.

But his favorite parts of her; the gold in her eyes, the brilliant mind, and fiery personality, those
were all her. Only hers. She had created those parts of herself all on her own.

Granger had given him the backstory to use. Apparently, she still had the multiple identities she
formed and wrote out to possibly try on her parents the first time she had done this.

He had used the option she almost went with the first time. A lot of the stories were similar, with
small yet impactful things different about each identity. The only thing he had to change was the
residence, as the Disorder placed them in Romania.

They had decided to do the obliviate in the privacy of the home they lived in. Both of her parents
were sitting on the front porch when he and Theo arrived. Granger’s father was reading, while her
mother was knitting something that reminded Draco a lot of the hats and other hideous pieces of
clothing Granger used to knit for the house elves during school. It looked like her mother had about
the same amount of talent for the craft as her daughter did.

They had both been in perfect health according to Theo who ran tests on them after knocking them
out. Dolohov hadn’t done anything to them physically. But when Draco entered their minds to
change and erase what needed to be, he had seen a gap in their memories. A small gap. Less than
two hours from a few days ago.

He knew Dolohov must have used the Imperius Curse on them to have Granger’s tooth placed into
his mouth, and his guess is that the sociopath wiped the memory from them.

The obliviate and false memories took him twice as long as they normally would have, but he
wanted to make sure he got it exactly right.

For Granger. It was the least he could give her.

He had imagined meeting her parents once or twice over the years, but he never thought he would
meet them under these circumstances. Already no longer her parents; taking them further and
further away from a part of them that they didn’t even remember.

Theo had become distracted with some painting in the front entryway of their home, leaving him
alone with now Lisa and Charley.

Draco sat down on the small table in front of both of them. They were still knocked out, sitting up
on the couch where Theo had placed them carefully.

He wished everything could be different. Wished that she didn’t have to lose her family on top of
everything else. He knew how that felt. To watch a family unit that used to be your everything,
crumble around you.

Draco looked to the doorway to make sure Theo was still distracted, and reached out, grabbing her
father’s hand, and began to shake it.

“Hello Mr. Granger. My name is Draco Malfoy, and I am in love with your daughter.”
The man that had her hair, and some of her freckles of course did not respond. But somehow,
saying it finally, out loud, after all these years, for the first time to her father, felt right.

I can give you this, even if you will never know. It is still yours. You will always be the first person
I said that to.

“You raised a woman who is going to change the world. She doesn’t need me, but I promise I will
help her accomplish it all for as long as I can.”

He closed his eyes as he took in a large breath, trying to push through the constant pain and
potions. He was still shaking his hand in between them. There is so much he wanted to say. So
much he wanted to change.

“She has always been a girl who has demanded attention. But she has become a truly magnificent
woman, Mr. Granger. She fights for those who people do not take the time to see. She has
stockpiled more knowledge into that brilliant brain of hers than any other human I have ever met.
She puts me in my place like I need to be. Did she pick up the habit of throwing shoes when angry
from one of you?”

Draco thought about telling him the story from third year when the man’s daughter had punched
him in the face, but he was pretty sure she probably already told them. They more than likely had
been familiar with his name for all the reasons he found himself slightly grateful they would never
remember.

“I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve the affection she grants me whatsoever, which I am sure you
would agree with, as her father.”

He knew Granger would probably be rolling her eyes at him. Spouting off about archaic, sexist
practices, and how she did not need her parents' approval to do anything with her life. Her cheeks
would probably get bright red, and he would counter her by blaming his upbringing that had
ingrained in him the old practices. She would have rolled her eyes again at that. He caught himself
smiling at the thought.

“I love her with every part of me Mr. Granger. And I promise, I will take care of her. I assure you,
I will get her out of this war safely. I will love her fully without wasting a second. I will support
her, and challenge her. I will make her tea, leave her notes, read whatever she is reading. I will
probably have to buy two of every book because I am not as fast as a reader as she is. I will do
everything in my power to make sure she becomes everything she has always been meant to be. I
won’t hold her back. I will put her first always. I promise.”

He lowered the man's hand, and leaned back to look at both of them for a while before taking her
mother’s hand into his.

I shouldn’t do this.

She may not like me doing this.

He did it anyways. Because he needed the hope, the dream. He needed something real he could
feel, and touch, and hold of the future he wanted.

Maybe. Someday. Soon.

“I’ve got her Mr. and Mrs. Granger. She will not be alone. I will be her family, if she allows me to
be.”

“Are you talking to me?” Theo walked back into the room, and Draco stood up and moved away
from the pair, grimacing as his body protested.

“No, myself. Check their vitals one more time before we go.”

While they were both still knocked out, and Theo ran a few diagnostics over them to ensure
everything was set and okay, Draco looked over the photos on the mantle. Lots of photos.

Of two people rather than three.

All missing a piece.

But they didn’t know it.

They would never know it.

He took off the back of the frame, and slid a picture out and into his front pocket carefully.

She should at least have this.

He understood the loss of family. He had allowed himself to feel his mother’s death for a short
time, before he found out Granger had gone missing. That she hadn’t made it to the apparition
point. That he had failed her once again like usual.

Then he had placed his mother behind walls. Some of the thickest walls he had ever created. All so
he could function once more to try and save Granger from his own failures again.

And his father…

His father had been dead to him for years. Slowly becoming someone he did not want to call family
with every horrible decision after horrible decision.

Let the bastard drink himself to death. It would do everyone a service.

He rests his head on the back of the chair, trying to get out of the ray of sunlight shining through
the balcony doors into the library.

“We have 10 days then?” He looks up and sees Granger nodding her head at him.

“And is the Disorder ready to…” He has to close his eyes as his voice wavers.

“We have a meeting soon to discuss everything. You need to eat something. Do you think you can
keep it down?”
Just the idea of chewing and swallowing has him wanting to vomit. He shakes his head and leans
back into the chair, taking in deep steady breaths.

As he is looking up, he feels a weight leap onto his lap. Draco slowly looks down to see the orange
monstrosity in his lap staring up at him with it’s big blue eyes.

I don’t like you.

He thinks as he places a hand on top of the ugly animal, and moves his fingers into its obnoxiously
coloured pelt.

The three of them start talking about something. Lots of things. But Draco can’t follow along.
Granger was hard to keep up with at his best most of the time. Not that he would ever admit that.
But with the state he is in currently, he can’t even keep up with the damn kneazle on his lap that is
now kneading it’s sharp claws into his very expensive trousers.

“What are they saying? Can you clue me in?”

Draco is not talking to the almost pet. Absolutely not. He is talking to himself. Well, whispering
more than anything. Speaking at a normal tone would take too much. And he doesn’t want to go
back to sleep. He misses her; misses them.

I want more of us Granger.

I know I have always said that whatever I get is more than enough, but I am selfish really, and I… I
want more.

“Was that the floo?”

He opens his eyes at Granger’s worried words to see Theo rising out of his chair.

Draco hadn’t heard anything over the pounding of his every heartbeat he had been hearing for days
in his ears.

“Damn it!” / “You owe Daph and I 50 galleons Blaise!”

Well… I heard that.

“Shit…” Theo turns to Ginevra, who is already catching the accio’d invisibility cloak and throwing
it on. “Go to our room. I’ll meet you there.”

The ginger disappears just as the snakes enter the library. Blaise is carrying the large bean bag over
one shoulder, with a bottle of alcohol in the other. Pansy and Daphne follow behind him.
“I am pissed lovebirds! You just cost me 100 galleons for not shagging when we… damn…
What’s wrong with you Frosty? You look like shit.”

I hate you.

“How the hell are you even here right now Blaise? When will you get it in your thick skull that we
aren’t up for gambling nights right now! Stop breaking in to my fucking house!”

Theo moves in between the area where his ginger used to be, and where Blaise is walking in.

“All I did was open up the floo to us again last time we were over. Stop making it so easy Nott!”
The man slumps the bean bag chair to the side of the other three lined up in front of Draco. He
jumps in and sprawls letting out a large groan. “Looks like you are ready for us anyways.”

“What do you mean?” Draco looks over to see Granger piling up the materials Theo and Red had
carried in earlier, and quickly taking them into one of the aisles of the library out of sight. Theo
follows her, looking lost and whispering something into the side of her face.

Draco can’t hear what they are saying but they both look worried. That confuses him. Yes, Blaise’s
ability to always keep showing up was annoying as fuck, but it wasn’t like he was dangerous or
interrupting something…

Draco tries to hold in the groan as he closes his eyes, and leans back again.

“Well it’s Friday night, and you have a chair out for Daph don’t you?… Mate, seriously, what the
hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Tired.” Those two words to Blaise take more out of him than an entire game of
quidditch.

“Remember in 6th year, when we continuously called you fugly ferret? You look worse than back
then.” Pansy falls into her boyfriend's lap, as her face betrays the humor in her words. Even
Daphne is staring at him with wide eyes.

“Humph.” It is all he can get out.

“All of you stop. Draco is… He has been through a lot the last couple of weeks okay? So leave
him be.”

Thank you Granger.

“No but really, you guys can’t stay tonight.”

“Why?” Blaise pulls off the cap to the bottle and gives Theo a daring look, while Pansy and
Daphne light the cigarettes in their mouths.

“Be… Because Draco isn’t feeling the best, and I’m heading to my room as well, so it isn’t like
you…”
“We don’t need you tossers to have a good time. We will have fun with just the Golden Girl. You
two wankers can piss off.” Blaise winks at his girl.

Yeah… I could be taking my last breath, and still say that idea is not fucking happening.

“No.”

“Listen, usually I’d say fine. Well actually, that isn’t true. I’d fight like hell first for fun, but then I
would give in and leave, but not tonight. Fucking Flint is holding some meeting for anyone
interested in helping him find the Weaselette, and if we are there, it’ll look suspicious as hell if we
don’t go. So just let us seek refuge here okay?”

Theo’s face pales at Blaise finishes speaking, and he looks up to Granger.

They stare at each other for a moment, before Granger nods slightly at him. “Fine.”

Fuck…

“I’ll be back. I have some things to do in my room. Don’t break any of… oh… never mind. Wait,
actually, don’t trash my house! There is a waste bin right there! Use it!”

Theo points to the bin in the corner, that they all know will not be used, as he leaves the room.

Lucky bastard.

Draco feels her warm hands on his arm, trying to raise him out of the chair.

Oh fuck no Granger. I am not leaving you alone with these snakes. Over my dead body.

He shakes his head back and forth, and pulls his arm out of her grasp. He lowers his hands onto the
arms of the chair and squeezes them. Trying to show her he is not getting up out of this seat.

“Seriously Draco?” She tries again to no avail. “Damn it! Even like this, you are still a pain in my
arse.”

He feels the corner of his mouth raise up at her fire filled words. They are so much better than the
careful-not-to-break tone she had been using.

“Oh you like that huh? Of course you do, you enormous, stubborn, man. Where is a shoe when I
need it?”

His mouth raises even farther.

Merlin you are everything Granger…

Draco lowers his hand and pats his lap. She registers his request and carefully lowers onto his legs,
surrounding him with her peace giving warmth.

“So why is Marcus Flint holding a meeting? Doesn’t he already have a team?”

Blaise shrugs as he hands the bottle over to Daphne who accios in a couple glasses for the rest of
them.

“Dolohov is getting impatient with him I guess. Saying he needs as many people as possible at his
disposal for some big fucking plan of his to get the girl. No clue why he is wanting her. If it is to
try to lure out Potter, you’d think they’d use you for that Granger.” He gestures to his girl who
doesn’t respond to the man. “But enough of that heavy shit! What do we want to play tonight?
Strip poker?”

Pansy gets up and walks over to the basket, pulling out a couple of her magazines before walking
back over to Blaise. “There are only four of us Blaise. And three are women.”

“Exactly. Sounds like a great idea to me.” Blaise squeezes her sides and raises his eyebrows at her
playfully.

"Me too." Daphne whispers.

Draco is far from amused.

Not fucking happening.

Pansy scoffs and flips the magazine open, as Blaise takes a gulp of the alcohol and grimaces. “Shit
that is bad… Okay fine. No stripping then. How about never have I ever? Does Nott still have the
good liquor warded in the kitchen?”

Daphne pours a glass of the alcohol and holds it out to Granger. The brunette looks down but
declines to his surprise.

“I’m not drinking tonight.”

Daphne shrugs, and sips the glass herself.

“What? why would…” Blaise freezes and stares at Granger for a moment before launching out of
his bag, and turning his eyes to Draco. “Did you knock her up?! Is that why you look like shit?”

All of the snakes turn to them, and even Draco feels his eyes widen at Blaise’s words, feeling
something form in the numbness.

Worry right? That is worry Draco.

She wasn’t pregnant? She couldn’t be. The contraceptive potion she had taken was still good, and
they had never had sex without her being on one. But why wasn’t she drinking? What if she was
pregnant?

And why don’t you feel as worried as you should about that?

“NO! No I am not pregnant Blaise! I just have a lot I still need to do tonight at some point, and I
would rather not be inebriated."

The crew looks at her unbelieving, turning their gazes from her eyes, to her stomach, to him.
Granger lets out a frustrated sigh, and stands up as she casts a diagnostic charm onto her abdomen.

It shows nothing, and Draco finds himself feeling something again within the numbness. The
feeling is confusing. He blames it on the potions.

“See! Empty. I’ll just smoke a cigarette instead of drinking. Now since you made me do this. I get
to pick who goes first. Blaise you’re up. And no cheating.”

Blaise places his hand over his heart in a mocking way. “Your lack of faith hurts! Okay Granger,
I've got one."

Blaise throws a pack of cigarettes into her lap, while Daphne hands Pansy two shot glasses of the
liquor.

"Never have I ever…"

The man takes the glass, and sends Draco a smirk before turning his attention back to the women
surrounding him.

I feel like this is about to be bad…

"Had sex with Draco."

Fuck my life. I'm going to kill you.

Pansy starts laughing in Blaise’s lap.

“Cheers!” The raven haired woman downs her glass, turning her gaze from Granger to Daph, who
is staring at the brunette in his lap apologetically as she raises her glass to her lips.

“Sorry Hermione. If it makes it any better, it was a while ago. And both of us never wanted to do it
again.” Daphne says as she tips it back, and swallows the contents.

Draco watches Granger roll her eyes as she takes a cigarette out of the pack, and places it between
her lips with a sneer towards Blaise. “Nothing to apologize for Daphne. Draco already told me.”

“Oh yeah? Did he also tell you how he had the bad habit of saying your name at the end?”

I. Hate. You. All.

Not you Granger.

Draco closes his eyes at Pansy’s telling words. He can feel his woman flinch, and then turn her
body to face him. Maybe if he pretends to be lost in the fight, she will go easy on him. Let this
slide. Not make him answer…

“You… You said my name? While…”

“While shagging us? Yes he did!”

I need new friends. Kick a man while he is down why don’t you?

He doesn’t open his eyes or say anything. What was he supposed to say? Admit that she had been
the only thing that got his body to cooperate for years now? How he had fantasized about shagging
her way too many times that he had lost count? Fuck no was he admitting that.

“Draco why…”

“I like brunettes… They are not brunettes.”

Pathetic Draco… I’m blaming it on the feeling of dying currently clouding all my thoughts.

He hears multiple people laugh. Maybe this fight would kill him before this night was over, maybe
that wouldn’t be so bad.

He feels Granger move closer to his face. “Did you say my name and imagine me with Pansy 6th
year Christmas holiday?”

He opens his eyes to small slits to see her amused yet still worried face challenging him. Daring
him to be honest and answer. Acting like she was just now recognizing the power she has over him.
Like that wasn’t clear before.

He nods his head slightly, and watches the same smile that had taken over her face the first time
she had successfully masturbated, and the same smile that formed when she occluded in record
time.

The woman and her praise...

I will always worship you Granger.

She exhales the smoke of her cigarette and pulls away, rubbing his arm back and forth. “I like
you.”

He tries to smile at her sweet and quiet declaration, but he feels only the corner of his mouth quirk
up.

“Okay Golden Girl, your turn!”

Granger carefully readjusts herself in his lap, and leans back. “Okay, never have I ever cheated
during gambling nights.”

All of the women let out giggles as Blaise glares up at his witch.

“Fuck you Granger.” He downs the glass. He is the only one to take a drink.

Draco tries to stay with the group, trying his best to be aware and to stand beside Granger against
their depravity, but he isn’t able to comprehend anymore of the questions and statements shot back
and forth. He feels his mind clouding and losing the ability to hold onto the words long enough to
make them make sense.

“Bloody hell, this is terrible. I am breaking in the cupboard and getting the good stuff.”

Draco hears Blaise struggle to escape the bag of beans on the floor, and finds himself slumping his
head into Granger's back in front of him.

He is half tempted to ask her to give him a Dreamless Sleep, but a part of him that can’t hold on for
very long is afraid that he will never be able to wake up if he does that. At least not wake up the
same. Terrified he would wake up as one of them.

“I don’t feel good.”

She turns and cups the sides of his face, slowly brushing her thumbs against his cheeks.

“I know, I know Draco, but I am going to make you feel better soon, I promise.”

She has been saying stuff like that. On and off continuously over the past week as his health
continued to go down.

“Hey Nott I can’t… WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Blaise’s screaming voice makes them all jump, and turn to the hallway where the noise travelled
from.

There is the sound of scuffling before Blaise comes back-peddling into the room, looking like he
has just seen something truly terrifying.

The dark skinned man lifts his hand and points out of the library, mouth falling open and closed as
he looks to them, then back down the hallway.

What was his problem? Blaise tended to be over dramatic, but not being able to access the good
alcohol hardly accounted for a reaction like…

“The… The… The… Gin… Ginny Weasley!”

Oh fuck.

Granger jumps off of his lap, as Pansy and Daphne look at him confused. Before she is able to say
anything, a very pale and terrified looking Theo stumbles into the room.

“Blaise, listen, we can explain we…”

Zabini shakes his head hard, and seems to come back to himself. “The fuck you need to explain!
The three of you apparently have a lot of bloody explaining to do. Like how the fuck the number
one undesirable Ginny Weasley was just now laying in bed with Nott!”

Draco has never been happier to not have the energy to deal with the shitshow happening before
him.

He knows this isn’t good.

He knows this should be worrying him.

The other snakes were caged just as much as he and Theo were to become Death Eaters. And
Draco knows none of them enjoy having to do what they had to do, but their minds were not safe to
know this kind of information like theirs were. And even though they hated being Death Eaters,
Draco couldn’t be sure if they were ever willing to step out and defect like he and Theo had done.

And he wasn’t going to put more of his friends into a dangerous position. Well, more dangerous
than the ones their parents had placed them in.

None of them had ever done anything that would place them in Azkaban. He tried to make sure all
of those decisions fell onto him. It didn’t matter in his case anyways. With what he had done with
the Vanishing Cabinet and Dumbledore 6th year, he knew he would be found guilty. So if anyone
was going to do the things that put them in Azkaban it would be him.

Theo looks from Blaise, to Granger, to him, then turns around as Red walks into the room with an
inappropriate-for-the-moment amused look on her face.

The two other snakes in the room gasp.

“Thanks for the interruption Zabini, I was just about to get…”

“What is going on!? How, why, when… What is she doing here? Why does Frosty look like he is
about to pass out? Why did you need the damn books? Why has the floo been closed? What did
you need in Hogwarts? I want answers to everything right now.” Blaise squares his shoulders at the
Weaselette, and Theo moves in between them and pushes her directly behind his back. Blaise
watches Theo for a moment and then turns to Draco. “And don’t you pricks dare say it is better for
us not to know. We are in the same room as the girl half the fucking Death Eater forces is after. We
are past that bloody point!”

“What can I say Zabini, everyone wants me. Can’t blame them.” Red smirks as she starts to walk
around Theo, but he stops her by grabbing her arm and pulling her back.

“Ginger snap, not the time.”

“Pet names?!” Blaise looks like his head may explode.

“Okay, okay. Blaise sit down, I will explain everything. Please.”

Granger moves next to the man, and gestures back toward Pansy and Daphne who are both still
staring in disbelief.

“This better be one hell of a story. I knew something was going on but… never thought I would
walk in on Nott and the Weaselette.” Blaise reluctantly takes his wide eyes off of Theo and Red,
and moves back to the group.

“Nothing was happening Blaise!” Theo shouts as he follows him.

“Yet... Are you ashamed of me Teddy?”

Theo groans and covers his face as his girl decides to not let the situation go. “Of course not! There
is nothing about you to be ashamed of.”

Granger is looking at Draco. Seeming to be searching for some guidance on how to handle this shit
of a situation.

I don’t know what to do either Granger.

She leans down in front of him. “We have to tell them. Are… are they safe to tell?”

He wants to say yes. Draco would love to say confidently that his friends would not betray and
hand in the Weaselette or tell someone about what they had been up to for months. But this
information would force them to make a decision one way or another. A very dangerous decision.
That he isn’t sure they are ready to make.

But what choice did they have?

She is still staring at him, when he gives her a slight nod.

Granger turns, and Theo and the ginger come to stand beside her as she starts to recount the last
couple of months.

She starts telling them. Telling them a lot. Way more than Draco would have told them.

“Remember that lead where Draco left and had Flint cover…”

Granger is doing most of the talking.

“…We made contact, and have since become spies for The Order to…”

Red pipes in about her and Harry’s break up, and lying about the Dead One’s state.

“… major life differences and all that. Now I’m with Teddy.”
The three snakes sit, mouths open, listening intently. Their eyes travel to each of them during
different parts.

“… Using the curse 9 times is having a toll…”

Draco feels himself beginning to not follow, and losing consciousness somewhere along the way.

The next time he comes to, the room is silent.

It stays silent for quite some time.

“Is he going to die?”

Draco isn’t sure who Blaise is talking about.

“No, not if the spell works. And even if it doesn’t I don’t think he will die, he will just… lose a
large part of himself to Dark Magic.”

Another long silent pause. Draco opens his eyes to see Blaise staring directly at him. Why is he
looking at him like that? Probably pissed he hadn’t told him what was going on.

“Sorry.” He croaks out slowly, hoping the word is more understandable to the group than it sounds
to him.

“You should be Frosty. Fuck, always have to do everything the hard way and by yourself don’t
you?” Blaise stands up, and looks from Pansy to Daphne, they all seem to be on the same page
about something Draco is not aware of.

Blaise turns around and grabs the two remaining chairs by the tables, and starts dragging them to
line up with the other chairs and bag.

“Blaise, what are you…”

“If you think we aren’t taking some too, you really shouldn’t be called the Brightest Witch of Our
Age anymore Granger.”

Blaise plops down on the bag, while Pansy and Daphne take a seat on the two new chairs.

“Blaise, you would be inviting…”

“Inviting some dark shit into my body? Yeah, we get it Granger, and we are doing it. Merlin
knows we owe the prick. This will make us even. So what do we have to do?”

Wait… Is this about me?

What was Granger doing? He had been asleep for most of the last week ever since he had been
forced to use his curse so many times. He knows he is fighting an already lost cause, but he can’t
stop, can’t give in, he is terrified of who he would be after.

Them… I will be one of them.

Draco reaches out and rubs the top of his hand against Granger’s arm to get her attention.

She turns and looks down at him. He must look like shit, with the way her face falls as their eyes
meet.

“What are… you doing?”

She leans down, and kisses him softly. He doesn’t really feel it.

“Saving you. It’s what we do for each other.”

His witch moves away before he can stop her. The Weaselette sits down in the chair next to
Daphne, while Theo brings some of the materials from earlier back to Granger.

The knife in his hand does not go unnoticed by Draco.

What the hell is she doing?

If a knife is involved he is not on board. He wants to stop this. Wants to stop her from doing
something he is now realizing she knew he would not approve of, hence why she waited until he
was in this state. Where he couldn’t fight back. Where he couldn’t stop her.

Maybe she really is an evil witch…

“Granger no…”

She makes them all bring their chairs closer to him, as she opens up a notebook full of what looks
to be her handwriting. Theo hands her the knife and sits next to Red.

“All you will have to do is make a small cut in your palm, and make sure the incision is in contact
with his as I say the spell.”

“And you are sure this will work?” The question comes from Pansy who doesn’t seem too
concerned with the answer as she continues to look him over.

“No.”

“What happens if it doesn’t work? And what happens if it does?” Daphne has one of the large
tomes Theo had brought back open in her hands, reading over one of the passages.

“If it works, you will feel the Dark Magic enter into you, and you will have to allow it to take an
area of you. Similar my guess to how the Dark Mark magic felt.”

“That was a splendid experience. This should be fun.” Blaise drawls sarcastically as he lights
another cigarette.
“And… I don’t know what could possibly happen if it doesn’t work.”

“Even better! Okay, let’s do this shit before Frosty gets even uglier.” Blaise takes the knife out of
Granger’s hand, and slices his palm open without flinching.

“Damn it, wait, let me grab a flannel before…”

“Oh shut up Nott! We will clean it after we are done.” Blaise hands the knife to Pansy.

“Blood stains Blaise! And we just got off the last stain you left on my house after four fucking
months. Stupid fucking four… I am grabbing one. I’ll be right…”

Red waves her wand, and accios a large blanket into the room that floats onto Theo’s lap before he
can even get up.

“You’re the best ginger snap.” Theo moves and kisses her on the cheek as he places the fabric on
the ground in between the chairs. The snakes around him all groan.

Pansy slices her hand, and gives the knife to Daphne. “I get to pick our group activity next time
Princess.”

Granger laughs slightly as she looks over her notes, twirling a strand of her hair around a finger.
She is nervous. Even in his deplorable state he can see that. Maybe he really was close to dying.
Maybe this was it for him.

What an anti-climactic ending that would be.

He should probably tell her about the pocket of his Death Eater robes. What it has been holding.

Daphne makes the cut, and tries to hand the knife to the ginger, but Theo takes it out of her hand.

“Teddy, we talked about this I am…”

“I know, just let me make the incision. I know where to make it to cause the least amount of pain.”

Red rolls her eyes, but holds out her right hand for him. “I have had plenty worse Teddy…”

“I know Ginevra, that is why I want to make sure you don’t ever again.” Theo carefully, and
confidently takes her hand, and places the knife onto her skin, and slides the blade. “We are putting
dittany on this as soon as the connection is done.”

She holds out her left hand. “Pinky promise Teddy.”

“This is so fucking weird…” Blaise murmurs as Theo cuts his own hand, and falls into his seat. He
cleans the blade before handing it to Granger.

What the actual hell is she doing?

“Granger…”

“It’s going to be fine Draco.” She slices her palm and sits down in the chair next to his. He watches
her grab his right forearm and lay it flat with the underside facing upwards.

He wants to fight it, but he fucking can’t.

His body feels limp. Drained of all energy, of any ability to do anything but breathe in and out.
Granger looks up at him and just stares for a moment. He is hoping she can see how angry he
knows he should be. How much he wants to fight her.

"Stay alive Malfoy."

She places the blade right below the crook of his elbow and pushes down. Draco doesn’t feel that
either, but he watches the red line form as she pushes the blade down the length of his forearm.

The slice is long, and the blood starts seeping out over the sides of his arm, and down onto the
fabric covering the floor.

Granger stands up, golden brown eyes wide and looking almost like she is in shock over what she
is doing.

“Everyone grab hold of his arm with your own.”

Draco feels the lightheaded feeling growing with the blood loss. He decides to close his eyes, just
for a moment. He would open them again soon.

Pressure is placed all over his forearm.

“Okay… I will handle the rest… This… what we are doing… You have to want it. You have to
invite it into your body. So if any of you are hesitant in the slightest, please let go now, because
you are risking all of our lives possibly and…”

“Princess, you aren’t the only one who cares for him. Now stop badgering and save his life.”

He feels something press against his mouth. He opens his eyes and sees Granger holding a vial up
to his lips. He opens and swallows the contents, but instead of the hardly functional numbness
getting heavier, he feels a warm and awakening sensation start flowing through him.

What the fuck?

It feels good for a moment before he notices it awakens every part of him, even the parts he is
trying to fight. The parts that are stronger than him. This isn’t good. This isn’t going to work.

“Granger…”

“It’s pepper up. I know, I know. Just hold on Draco. Everyone ready?”

Draco looks down at his arm to see six red hands wrapped around him. Squeezing and holding on,
as Granger pulls out her wand with her free hand.

He watches her face change to a set expression, and starts saying something.

At first he doesn’t think he understands because of the shock his body is currently feeling at being
more aware than he had in days, but as the words keep leaving her, he realizes they are not just
words. It is a spell. It is a ritual. An old one from the sounds of it. One he has never heard before.

What are you doing Granger?

Her wand is steady as she waves it over his arm encased with his friend's hands. Her beautiful
voice never falters as words after words keep spilling out of her mouth with her assured confidence
and determination.

No matter what happens, he isn’t going to take his eyes off of her. Watching her, seeing her like
this… Strong, beautiful, confident, brave, filled with hope. It is great to see. It is everything he has
been longing to see ever since she lay on Theo’s floor broken and almost dead.

She had done it.

She had come back from it.

Hermione Granger, you are the strongest person I have ever known.

And I am so proud of you.

I think… I think you won your war.

His mouth starts to raise at the thought, but all of a sudden something enters and charges into him.
It doesn’t give him time to breathe, or think, or even really a time to react. It knows where it is
going, and what it wants.

And it wants it too.

The… the rotted area and the darkness hovering around sees it and follows after it, splitting,
cracking again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

6 times. It it now moving through him, following the call of her magic.

Yes, it is her magic.

He remembers it.

The warmth, the belonging feeling that had distracted him when teaching her Occlumency.

It is here. Inside him again.

Now.

And the darkness that had been pressuring and pressuring him for so long to allow it in; to give up
the fight and be what everyone told him he would be, wanted him to be, who he feared to be, it is
moving out of him.

In 6 splintered parts.

6.

Granger,

Theo,
Red,

Blaise,

Pansy,

Daphne.

6 of them.

6 parts.

7 including himself.

The magic moves further, and he hears gasps from the people surrounding him, as the song like
sound of Granger's voice stops.

Draco chokes on his breath as the 6 broken parts separate and move out of him. He can feel it. Feel
the heaviness, the battle, the darkness leave.

It is being called elsewhere, where there is no fight, where it is being allowed to consume.

No. Not Granger…

Then… the fight is gone.

It is just… gone.

Draco slumps back in his chair and feels the six hands leave his arm, as he greedily takes in breath
after breath. Filling his lungs in a way that had not been possible for so long.

It is easy.

It is back to being easy to breathe.

“Draco! How do you feel? Is it… is it smaller? Are you sick? Is it still…”

“His vitals are better than they have been in a long time Hermione, give him a second. How does
everyone else feel?”

Warm hands cup his face as he continues to gulp down breath after breath. He is still exhausted,
but not sick. It is different. Better. Much, much better.

“What did you do?” He opens his eyes for the first time to see Granger’s gold shimmering as tears
travel down her face.

She gasps, and covers her mouth as she pulls back and looks between his eyes.

What was wrong? What…

“Silver…” Her voice breaks and she sobs into her hand covering her mouth. “It worked. It
worked!”
Theo moves into his line of sight, and so does the diagnostic charm he is looking over intently.

“Here swallow.” Draco listens and consumes the two vials he holds to his mouth.

His body starts feeling more alive than it had in a very, very long time. Theo pulls back and gives
Granger a slight nod. She doesn’t need more than that before falling into his arms and crying into
his neck. He raises his arms slowly to wrap around her.

"Glad you're still alive Draco."

“Granger, what did you do?”

Her hot tears are wetting his skin, as he looks up to the group of people around him. Theo has
Red’s hand in his own as he applies some type of ointment to the healed pink line on her hand.
Blaise is doing something similar for both Daphne and Pansy.

“Hey, we deserve some of the credit too Frosty! Since we all now have a piece of your fucked up
arse inside us.”

Is that what she had done? Had she taken apart the Dark Magic somehow?

“Oh yeah Blaise, did you spend every waking moment researching horcruxes for years, and then
manipulate the magic and rituals to do good instead of evil? No? I didn’t think…”

“No Theo no. He is right.” Granger pulls off of Draco’s neck as he tries to follow the conversation
and information flying around him. She turns and faces everyone. “Thank you. Thank you all so
much. I… he… we… couldn’t have done this without you.”

It hits Draco as he sees her journal on the floor. As he sees the picture of the snake.

“Did you all take the Dark Magic?”

He is already glaring at the witch in his lap before she turns around. If she cared at all for the anger
slowly starting to take over him, it did not show one bit.

He had done everything to keep her golden.

To keep them all out of harm's way.

“Yes.” She looks directly at him. She is proud of herself, he can see that. “We all did.”

Fuck no.

“Granger no! You… You can’t, you shouldn’t… I did everything. I do everything to keep you all
from…”

“From being consumed by the evil of this world yeah, yeah we know Frosty. But if you take a
second and look, you will see none of us are being consumed by anything.” Blaise gestures to the
group. Draco sees all of them looking the same. No one is vomiting, or paler, or even looking
slightly under the weather. Everyone looks… looks fine. “So instead of yelling at your witch, how
about you give her some fucking appreciation for saving your life once again.”
He looks his woman over for the first time since feeling like himself again. She is still crying, eyes
traveling all over him in a similar fashion. But she looks like her. Her gold is still there. Her color
is present in her skin. She is sobbing, but she has a smile on her face at the same time.

“I need you to stay golden Granger. I need to make sure you stay good.”

She whimpers slightly and lowers her forehead to his, moving her thumb up to the side of his face.

“I thought you told me you weren’t afraid of my darkness? That you liked it?”

“I’m not, I do. But I don’t want to add to it. You have to stay hope. We all need you to be our
hope.”

Her arms wrap around him and she places her face against the side of his.

“Being your hope will always come before everything else. And I am fine Draco. Between the
seven of us, the difference is barely recognizable.”

He sees the people surrounding him nod an agreement.

“It honestly feels less than even the Dark Mark. Plus, you already look prettier there Frosty.”
Blaise stands up, and moves in between all of them to address him, looking actually serious for the
first time in his life. “Why didn’t you tell us Draco? Why didn’t you include us in all this? We
could have been helping this whole time, we could…”

“Because you don’t know how to occlude.”

The snake scoffs. “That’s a shit reason.”

“Because we either win or lose Blaise. That’s it. Those are the only choices left since making this
decision. Die or survive. There is no more in between for us. There is no more wading.”

“Yeah well I am fucking sick of the in between we have been stuck in.” Pansy and Daphne both
shake their heads in agreement. “So let your Misorder…”

“It’s The Order.”

“Whatever. Let them know, three more snakes are ready to help.”

Granger leaps out of his lap, and wraps the dark skinned man in a huge hug that almost pushes him
backwards.

Blaise smiles broadly, and squeezes her back tightly.

As soon as she lets go, she runs and grabs Daph and Pans in big hugs as well.

They are serious. They really wanted to do this. They wanted to help.

“You’re serious?”

Blaise looks over at him. “Snake’s honor.”

”Snake’s don’t have honor.”

The man laughs and shrugs. “No, but we have made it through the last couple of shitty years
together. You didn’t think you would be able to do this without us did you?”
 Okay, maybe I don’t need new friends. They are alright.

”Thank you.” He nods his head at Blaise before turning his attention to his arm.

At the long pink line running up and down his forearm, and then over to the other branded one.

One mark of hope and one of hopelessness. His body was proof of both now.

And it was all because of her.

He had always said they had been waiting for someone to come along and see them, and help
them.

And here she was.

Giving them an opportunity through her existence to be more.

“I’ll let The Order know and…”

“No.” Granger pulls away from the female Slytherin’s to stop Red from advancing to the floo. “I
have a better idea.”

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Depictions of gore.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

I will be taking next week off for the holiday season, and due to moving. The next
chapter will be uploaded two weeks from today.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Nott! We need more pancakes! Frosty here is hogging all of them. You know who you look like
right now? Scarfing down bite after bite without even having the decency to swallow all the way?”

“Zabini you better not say…”

“The Weasel. You look exactly like the…”

Theo hears the noise of someone, most definitely Blaise, crashing to the floor behind him.

If they just broke one of my chairs… He should have brought that obnoxious bean bag out of the
library.

He doesn’t turn around from the oven where he is magically pouring and mixing another large
batch of breakfast for the entirely too large group of people still in his fucking house.

“Do you have lemon juice?”

“These are bloody impossible to eat with sporks.”

“Blaise, Draco hasn’t eaten well in days. Stop stealing his food.”

Too many people, too many voices, too much going on.

I can keep an obsessed sociopath out of my house, but not these idiots.

The bowl floats above the pan, and creates the thin identical circles of the batter that start bubbling
in the butter.

He had done this many times after past gambling nights, when the snake crew had found
themselves too inebriated to floo anywhere. Always wanting the thin sugary breakfast that helped
soak up the alcohol in Blaise’s opinion. But now instead of 5 there are 7 to feed.

And while his Gryffindor girls are definitely his favorites of the group, 7 is too many.

The loud talking, the sound of utensils screeching across plates, and the noises from the cooking all
make that weight on his chest press and press.

Theo sees movement to his right, and looks over as Hermione refills his mug of a bowl with her
delicious drink for the third time already this morning.

She tips the pot all the way, giving him the last of the concoction.

“Oi! He has already had plenty Granger! I haven’t even had a sip of the stuff Nott swears is the
best thing he has ever tasted.”

Second best now, and by a long shot.

“Theo is the one making all of this food! He gets as much as he wants. I’ll make more later.”

Knowing not to trust the man behind them from stealing the mug bowl, Hermione picks it up and
places it in his hands.

“Merlin I love you.” Theo says as he takes a large gulp.

“I love you too Theo.” She smiles, taking the empty pot, and placing it in the sink as she casts a
self cleaning charm.

He places a couple of the best looking pancakes onto a plate on the counter and sprinkles chocolate
chips on top.

“Where’s Nott’s Weaselette? Shouldn’t she be a part of this conversation?”

Hermione takes her place on the floor next to Draco’s chair as he basically inhales his food,
picking up her discarded notes from the past day of meetings she had held.

“Ginny and I stayed up late putting together this plan for The Order meeting later today. And then
she had to handle correspondence and the owls after we were done. She knows everything I told
you all.”

Theo had been very careful this morning to ensure he didn’t wake Ginevra up. It had been a long
two days of being discovered, blood rituals, and helping Hermione with her plan. Theo had spent
yesterday running back and forth all over wizarding London picking up needed supplies, while
Ginevra handled the needs they had with certain people of The Order. They had both been
exhausted by the end of the day.

So exhausted that Ginevra hadn’t even taken off her clothes as she crawled into the bed they had
been sharing since she came back. She was fast asleep before he was even able to slip off her
shoes.

Theo was the opposite. It took him a while to make his body relax in a way that allowed him to
succumb to sleep. And no matter how late he was able to finally get some rest, he always woke up
at the same time every day. 15 minutes before his father routinely woke up. It used to give him
enough time to make his bed, and then crawl under it. His father had never figured out that was his
hiding spot. When the man would occasionally enter his bedroom first thing in the morning to
release some form of anger or aggression on him, he would always open the door and stare at the
room before walking to the closet to find it empty as well. He would let out a frustrated huff, and
then walk out, slamming the door behind him.

The routine had saved him from dozens of altercations with his father. And even though it had been
years since the man was able to enter his bedroom, he still couldn’t stop himself from waking up at
the exact same time every morning. No matter how much sleep he got the night before.

The time was early.

He had learned that Ginevra was not one who liked to get up early. But he didn’t mind. He liked
waking up before her and looking over to see her long red hair messily splayed out all over. A
couple strands floating up and down as she took in steady even breaths. Sleeping on her stomach,
with one hand still holding his, and the other propped underneath the pillow.

She always pushed the blankets down within minutes of falling asleep, and they stayed that way,
usually giving him a view of her exposed back, and the side of her breast pressed into the mattress.

Gingersnap had been in a similar position this morning, and she looked much too peaceful to wake
up.

If he could give her any moments of peace and quiet, he would. They didn’t have much more
guaranteed time for that.

The only tricky part had been getting his hand out of hers. Somehow, even though they both tossed
and turned a lot in their sleep, their hands always found each other again.

Theo begins to pour more batter into the pan, but something hits him in the back of the head,
making his hand holding his wand move the bowl to spill onto the stove top. Theo reaches out to
tilt the bowl back upright, causing the mixture to pour all over his hands and arms.

“Shit!” / “Sorry Nott! Was aiming for the waste bin.”

Theo takes a step back holding out his hands, dripping the batter onto his floor. The kitchen was
already a mess before adding the spilled mix to the disarray.

As he backs up, he steps on something and hears the small amount of liquid left in the container of
pumpkin juice Blaise was trying to throw into the waste bin, swish out under his feet, adding even
more mayhem to the situation.

“Maybe I need to buy you an apron instead of Granger.”

Theo groans as he turns around to face Hermione in desperation for some assistance.

I never wanted children, but here I am taking care of the lot of you.

Can I quit?

I want to quit.

Hermione can do all this shit now.

She swats the blonde snickering down at her as he places another pancake on his plate.
“Bloody hell…” Theo looks up to see Ginevra standing in the doorway of the kitchen with wide
eyes at the scene before her.

Thank Merlin…

She looks him over as she pulls out her wand, and casts a scourgify on the mess covering him.

“Everyone out! Go eat in the library. Teddy and I will bring in the rest when they are ready.”

The snake crew scoffs at her, and turns back to their meals. The only ones who seem to hear her are
Draco and Hermione who start picking up their plates.

“Did you not hear me?”

Blaise meets the redhead's eyes. “Oh we heard you Weaselette, we just don’t care to listen to your
bossy…”

Ginevra points her wand at the table and everything on it starts floating out of the room and down
the hallway. Everything except for Blaise’s recently filled plate of food. That plate is the first thing
to end successfully in the waste bin all morning.

“What the fuck?! Nott control your girlfriend!”

“Listen to his girlfriend the first time around, and this wouldn't have happened! Now everyone
out!”

Draco and Hermione are already out the door with Daphne following close behind. Pansy pulls a
glaring Blaise through the doorway last.

Theo was grateful they hadn't had a lot of downtime since they found out the truth two nights ago.
The Slytherins could be relentless with most people, especially a Gryffindor. Add that she was a
Weasley to the equation, and he found himself having no desire to have to endure their
commentary to his witch.

The redhead huffs and places her hands on her hips as she looks over the ransacked room.

“Sit Teddy.”

He runs his hands through his hair, to find some batter had made it into his waves. “No, I have to
finish this last batch and then clean up all…”

“Do you want a nutsack on your cheek again? I said sit. Because I know you haven’t taken a
moment to eat yet, and I also know you probably need some time after what looks to have been a
pretty stressful morning.”

Theo listens immediately. The tone she is using made him agree with whatever she is saying.

He watches her step over the puddle of pumpkin juice and batter all over the floor to the oven.
Ginevra tosses the now burnt pancakes into the bin, and pours more batter into the pan. She carries
his burnt chocolate over to him, taking a quick sip herself.

“You should have woken me up. I could have been helping you.”
He shrugs and grabs the bowl mug out of her hands, as she lowers her face to kiss him lightly.

“You needed to sleep. And I don’t want you to have to deal with them until you absolutely have
to.”

Theo was bracing for the inevitable. Now that things had slightly slowed down, he knew they were
going to be ruthless with the girl, and more than likely him as well.

She waves her wand to clean up the floor, and starts working on the many bowls, spoons, and other
containers on the countertop.

“Trust me Teddy, I can handle them.” Ginevra sees the plate set aside with the breakfast food he
had made for her when she eventually woke up. “Here, have these. I’ll finish the rest for the
snakes.”

She tries to hand him the plate, but he shakes his head.

“No those ones are yours. I saved the best ones for you.”

Theo watches her face change to a softer expression. “Of course you did. Okay, well, these should
be done in a minute.”

He leans back in his chair as she flips the round cakes, and continues to clean the kitchen.

They sit in the silence, with just the sound of the batter being cooked. And like always for him, he
feels the weight and stress start to leave his body. She seems content as well as she takes small
bites of her breakfast before handing him his own plate, and turning back around to continue to
cook.

I like this.

No, I think I love this.

“How are you feeling?”

He can hear her annoyed huff from across the room. He had already asked her that question at least
a dozen times since they had done the ritual. Casting diagnostic charm after diagnostic charm on
her until she had threatened to start sleeping with clothes on every night.

“As I said the last 100 times, I feel fine Teddy. Hardly notice the difference.”

She places the darker-than-they-should-be pancakes onto the large plate next to her. It was obvious
her mother’s cooking skills were not passed down to her. But that is okay to Theo. He likes to do
the cooking anyways.

He tries to swallow the contents of his own plate by drowning them in gulps of burnt chocolate.
Trying to take away the crunchiness, and texture that should not be present in pancakes.

I think these could honestly chip a tooth… Merlin just swallow Theo boy. And if she asks, you lie.
You say they are great. And then just make sure you always wake up before her so you never have
to endure another breakfast made by her again.

He is pretty sure if he held the thin disk up in the air, it would stand straight instead of flopping
like it should.

“Did the owls arrive?”

Theo nods his head as she turns around, and leans on the kitchen counter.

“Yes everything is set.”

Ginevra’s eyes widen as he finishes speaking. Her hand goes up and starts rubbing at her chest as
she looks towards the floor. “And have the other meetings all…”

“Yeah. All of them.” Theo stands up and places his plate in the sink. He can see her frustration, and
confusion showing in the lines of her face. It had been a lot to take in after meeting after meeting
all confirmed the same thing.

“I am so sick of the lies, the manipulation… What would be their reasoning for saying that?”

“Maybe because they know she would find out and wouldn’t support it.”

Ginevra places the last of the almost-could-be-called breakfast food onto the large plate. Theo
floats the other dirty dishes into the sink and casts the cleaning charm, as he picks up the container
of sugar and lemon juice.

The others would have to drown the pastries in it to make them edible.

His redhead picks up the plate and follows him down to the library. “They still are scheduled to
meet with Russia before the meeting this afternoon correct?”

“I believe so.”

“And you said last night how you needed to restock your healing kit?”

“Yeah. Draco’s condition and constant need has me out of a couple key potions and materials I
always like to have on hand.”

If I wouldn’t have, the three most important people in my life would be dead.

“Okay, well after this, how about you and I go do that. Give you some alone time, and a chance to
relax before the meeting tonight.”

He turns and smiles. Merlin, was he grateful for her. He had been dreading the meeting tonight
ever since The Order finally flooed with the set time. That stress was only added upon after
Hermione had met with a couple of the organizations Ron had sent over, and learned what she had.

Her and Draco’s fury was evident. Her plan was terrifying.

Much too confrontational for his tastes.

“I have a lot I need to prepare, it will probably take me a couple of hours at least so if you don’t
want to go with me…”

She stops in the hallway right before the entrance into the library.

“I’m not letting you go on a field trip without me Teddy. That is our thing.”

The ginger shoots him a wink before opening up the door into the library where everyone except
for Hermione is sitting, and eating.

“Took you long enough, we were starting to… What the, Weaselette, did you make these?”

Ginevra places the large plate of brownish black pancakes in front of the group who all have
similar looks of disgust on their faces. The looks don’t seem to bother her in the slightest. “Yes I
did, eat up! Before they get even harder. If that’s possible.”

Blaise picks up one and hits it against the side of the table making a very distinct clunking noise.
“I’m about to go pull the ones you tossed into the waste bin. Even they would be better than these.”
“Here’s the lemon juice you were asking for earlier, it will help.” Theo places the containers into
the middle of the table. Before he can pull back, Pansy points at his hand.

“So how’d you lose a finger Nott? Haven’t heard that story yet.”

Everyone turns and looks down at his left hand he tries to hide behind his body too late.

I do not want to talk about this.

I also do not want all of you looking at me.

“He didn’t lose it. It’s right here.” Ginevra sits down between him and Draco as she holds up her
left hand, and wiggles the different digit at all of them.

Blaise chokes even harder than he already is on his food. “What the…"

"No way!" Pansy reaches across the table and grabs Ginevra's hand, pulling it close to her face to
make sure what she is seeing is correct.

"Yeah, I had a bit of a run in with a nasty curse. Teddy here put me back together, and gave me a
piece of him too."

Daphne joins at gawking at the appendage. Pansy looks from him, to Ginevra, back to her
boyfriend trying unsuccessfully to scrape off the charred areas of the breakfast food.

"You wouldn't give me your finger if I lost mine."

Blaise looks up and rolls his eyes. "You've got that right. You wouldn't want me to anyways. We
both know you like what I do with my fingers on you. Nott wouldn't know any better."

"Oh trust me, Teddy knows what he is doing. He knows so well he doesn't need all five unlike you
apparently."

And there she is… Shit will I ever get used to the way she talks?

Daphne and Pansy both snicker along with his redhead as Blaise glowers. "So she takes your finger
and your virginity Nott? Greedy Gryffindor.”

Theo feels his ears getting hot as he looks down at his burnt chocolate.

He was still a virgin right? Technically yes. Over the past week of her coming back they had done
a multitude of amazing things together, but intercourse had not been one of them.

He swears half the reason he is feeling so much more on edge today than other days is because the
crew of snakes had gotten in the way of his new morning routine of devouring the ginger goddess
at his side, and her doing the same to him.

He had made it up to 3 minutes before coming two days ago, which he was very proud of.

“That is none of your business Zabini.” He sees Ginevra’s face turn sharper as she looks at the man
across from her. Theo is surprised she isn’t giving them all detail after detail of what they had done
together. She didn’t usually hold back in her crassness.

“How long has this…” Draco raises his spork and points from him to Ginevra. “Been made
concrete? The last thing I remember was you running away, and Nott losing his fucking mind
cleaning that cesspool for your selfish arse.”
Fuck you Draco. I don’t care if you are still recovering.

“Don’t talk about her like…”

“It’s okay Teddy. He isn’t wrong.” She turns her attention to the smirking blonde next to her. “I
came back while you were spilling your guts for the 14th time. No wonder you didn’t see me with
your head so far in the loo.”

“Bitch.”

“Prick.”

For some reason they both smile.

I do not understand any of you.

“Does Potter know about you moving on?”

The smile on Ginevra’s face falters slightly at Pansy’s words. Harry was the only subject that made
her barriers tremble slightly, showing how much she was always holding back. Without thinking,
he reaches for her hand underneath the table. She wraps her fingers around his instantly.

“No. But trust me, he doesn’t feel a thing for me anymore.”

Because he doesn’t feel anything anymore.

He squeezes her hand in reassurance.

“Draco, the next call is set for a few minutes.”

They all turn to see Hermione in the doorway looking over a couple of sheets of parchment in her
hands. Draco raises from the table as Theo pulls out the vials of Polyjuice Potion already combined
with the sample brought by the owls earlier.

“Who is this with again?” Draco says as he moves next to her and looks over the sheets.

“Russia. I have it on good authority that Viktor will be present as well, so no inappropriate
comments. You cannot act like you in the slightest.”

Draco grunts, but follows her out of the room. “Fucking predator…”

The two of them were playing a dangerous game. Actually, they all were. If Kingsley found out
what they were doing before the meeting tonight, a meeting that Theo was quite aware all hell
would be breaking loose at, they could be in some serious shit.

“We need to head back to base for our own meeting, but we will be back tonight to discuss how
things went on your end.” The three snakes stand up. “Thanks for almost killing us with breakfast
there Weaselette. Pretty sure we may end up with food poisoning.”

Ginevra laughs as she raises her middle finger to the group. “Who says I didn’t on purpose?”

Blaise barks out his own laugh and returns the gesture she still has raised up at him. Almost like
they are waving goodbye. “You’re not so bad Weasley.”

Theo waits a few moments before looking over at his witch.

“You didn’t actually…”

“No Teddy. Not this time at least.” She places the plates on top of each other on the table. “You
ready to go restock?”

He nods his head in agreement, and floats the stacks of dishes in front of them as they walk down
the hallway and past the kitchen where he drops them off.

Ginevra is standing in the entry room with the invisibility cloak held out in front of her. “Do you
think this time, you would be comfortable being under this with me?”

I am comfortable anywhere with you.

That was probably the best idea. That way even if his father was home, he would never see either
of them.

“Yes. I’ll lead though.” She hands him the cloak and stands behind him as he tosses it over them.
He grabs his healing kit by the door, and opens it slowly. Unlike last time, he doesn’t feel
uncomfortable with her hot breath on his neck, or her hand holding the back of his shirt to help
them stay together.

Her presence and proximity, unlike everyone else's, had continued to become more. Something
different than he has ever experienced before. Almost like he was whole when near her.

Theo casts the detection spell to find the house empty, and starts to move quicker, counting each
step.

They make it to the door and Theo quickly opens it and slams it shut, taking in a deep breath for
the first time since leaving the safety of his rooms.

“Here Teddy, I grabbed one of Hermione’s before we left.” Ginevra hands him a vial and he
swallows it as he pulls himself together.

He gives himself a few moments before shaking his head, and moving to the large apothecary table
in the middle of the room, and placing his supplies on top. The list he had put together was two
pieces of parchment front and back. But with the raid set to happen in a few days, he had to be
ready for anything. He had to have every healing potion and material ready for them if they needed
it, which with their track record, they probably would.

Hermione had placed the same charm she had on her bag, onto his healing kit to make it extend
and able to carry much more than ever before.
“How can I help?” Ginevra comes up next to him and looks over the list.

Theo accios the box of supplies from the other side of the room. “You can place the vials out and
start labeling them if you want. The list and names are right here.”

He flips the parchment over and shows her the potion names and the number of each he would
need.

Theo moves over to the left side of the room, and starts pulling ingredients off of the shelves.

“Fucking secretary work…” He hears her grumble as she pulls out a quill and ink pot to start
writing the labels.

He laughs as he lays the moss, unicorn horn dust, and roots of varying plants on the other side of
the table. “I was warned by Hermione that you had the tendency to mix potions for fun back in
Hogwarts that placed you in the infirmary. So yes, secretary work is all you will be helping with.”

“Three times! That only happened three times!”

He laughs at her and starts cutting the roots into small pieces. His mind goes to all the
measurements, and ingredients and materials he needs to get ready.

He didn’t have much to offer the group when it came to planning and strategizing. That seemed to
be Draco, Hermione, Ginevra, and Blaise’s area of expertise. But he could provide a plan for after
the attack. He could make sure they had everything and anything any of them would need no
matter how the plan went. He had to be ready for the worst. He had to be ready to heal all sorts of
wounds. The thoughts and possible situations had been making his stomach turn. He was getting
really sick of planning for the people he cared about pain and hurt. He wanted to stop preparing for
the worst.

“These books are on the list as well. Do you want me to put them in your bag?”

Theo blinks and looks up to see all the vials labeled and in a neat organizational pattern on the
table. Ginevra is off to the side staring up at the large bookshelf by the door that housed some of
the healing books he had spent most of his childhood reading.

“Yes thank you.” He starts bagging up the supplies for Draco’s counter curse The Order would
need, and moves to the large batches of already put together potions to fill his vials with.

The house elves knew to check the potion room supplies daily and restock what was needed.

“Is this your handwriting all over these books?”

Theo turns around to see the witch skimming through one of the books from his list, and smiling at
the annotations filling the blank spaces. He sets the containers down, along with the tools to fill
each vial, to stand beside her.

“Yes. This was actually one of the first healing books I got my hands on.”

The page she is looking at is almost unreadable due to his notes and thoughts scrawled all over it.

“It looks different than your handwriting now.”

“I was 10 and my hand was still recovering if I am remembering correctly.”

Ginevra pauses and turns to look up at him. “Recovering from what?”

He takes a minute to try and remember.

Was it the burn? Or the slamming in a door? Or the fork, no I was older when that happened.

“I honestly don’t remember, but I know I was looking for something to teach me how to stop an
infection.” He moves back over to the other side of the table, and starts lining up the vials labeled
Essence of Dittany to fill. “The elves had done a shit job at healing a leg wound from my father,
and it was starting to change color and get hot. He told them to never do more than the bare
minimum, so I had to find a way to fix it myself.”

“Your father is a monster.”

“Yes.”

He finishes pouring the potion, and starts putting the caps on top. He feels her come up next to him
before he sees her.

“But you don’t want to kill him?”

No he didn’t. He knew that for a fact. The situation with Amycus Carrow had made that very clear
to him. Theo was understanding of Draco and Hermione’s perspective of the situation, and did not
blame either of them for wanting the sociopaths dead. But for him, for his father, it was not what
he wanted.

“I don’t want to kill anything, including him.”

“And Hermione…”

“Hermione agreed with me that an eternity in Azkaban would be a fitting end for him.”

They had talked about this privately days ago while Draco was sleeping. Theo thought the idea of
his father being locked up in a cold, dark room for the rest of his life, against his will, was a poetic
ending for the monster.

Give him his own left room.

He looks up to see her staring at her left hand.

“He did a lot of horrible things to you.”

Theo nods his head in response.

“The, the finger you gave me has marks and patches of rougher skin all over it.” She lifts her hand
and looks down at his laying on top of the table. “Yours don’t though.”

He doesn’t say anything to her statement. She hadn't asked a question technically even if he could
hear it within her words. He turns his head away from her. He hoped the exceptional witch
wouldn't ever notice. The light marks and calloused areas were not very noticeable, but he is sure
with her having the ability to see it whenever she wanted, she ended up seeing the differences.

“Can I touch you?” Theo closes his eyes. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He nods his
head, and feels her perfect skin touch his. His hidden hideous skin. She turns his face with her
hand. “You do not ever have to show me Theo. You can keep it all covered up for forever if that is
what you want. I don’t care. But if you ever do, I am here. I am not going anywhere. I will still
want you. I will always remind you how much you matter, no matter what you look like okay?”

He feels his breath hitch in his throat as he opens his eyes to see her so close. Not drawing away
from him, but coming closer as she learned something about him that he believed would always
push people further away from him.

“Okay, thank you.”

She stands on her tiptoes, and brings her mouth right in front of his. He leans forward and meets
her lips that he had been missing dreadfully. He savors the warmth and closeness of his witch,
before she pulls back slightly and smiles at him.

“I really hope I get to see what you become Theo Nott.”

I do not like the sound of that sentence.

He pulls her into his chest and rests his head on top of hers. “Stop saying stupid shit Gingersnap.
You are making it out of this.”

If there is one thing I need to be sure of, it is that.

You have to make it.

You have to.

I will do anything to make sure you do.

Her hands circle around him and start rubbing his back as she takes a deep breath in against his
chest.

“I hope we all do. I hope I don’t lose another member of my family. I want to see Harry buried with
his. I want to see the ferret and Hermione take on the world. I hope to see my brother happy again.”
Her hands stop rubbing his back, and she lifts her head off of his chest. “And I want to see you
become the greatest healer in the history of the wizarding world.”

“What about you? What do you hope for yourself?”

Theo casts a cooling charm over her as he sees her skin begin to splotch with red at her increased
body heat.

They were all having similar thoughts. By the end of next week, the world would be different in
one way or another. And as Draco had said to Blaise, they would either be alive or dead. There was
going to be no in between anymore.

“I hope for a lot more alone time with you Teddy.”

She smiles at him, and Theo can’t help but smile back. Not a forced or half smile, but a full one.
He can’t hold it in. Not with her saying out loud, in front of him, that she wanted more.

He moves and grabs the back of her neck, and pulls her mouth to his again. Kissing her harder this
time, diving his tongue into her now so familiar mouth, and taking in the comforting taste of her.

“You are my future Ginevra. All of it is tied to you.”

“No Theo, don’t place all of that on me. I know… I know what it feels like to lose…”

“I’m not losing you.”

He presses his mouth to hers before she can say more haunting yet realistic things to him. He needs
the denial right now. No words or conversations could ever prepare them for what could possibly
happen. They didn’t need to be said. They all knew.

She lets him continue to kiss her, and touch her for a while before they pull apart. Leaving so much
unsaid in between them.

It didn’t feel safe to say any of it. Not yet at least.

Ginevra hands him the tube, picks up the large container, and places it back on the shelf.

“We need to get going soon. I need to talk to my dad before the meeting.”

Theo nods and starts working quickly on filling up the other vials. “Can you grab the potions for
Hermione? They are on the top of the second page. And grab a few extra Calming Draughts for the
meeting tonight.”

He hears her behind him grabbing the already premade vials. Theo slots all the new potions into
his kit and throws in the multiple bags of potion ingredients as well.

The sound of something sliding across the table top makes him look up. Ginevra is sliding two
potions across towards him.

They are the same potion.

The potion he has been giving Hermione since he found her.

Fuck…

“Should I start taking this too Theo?” He gulps loudly at the question. At what she was really
asking. “I think my mum makes it obvious, but Weasley women are very fertile, so I have to do
both the potion and the charm. Ron and I exist because my mum forgot one or the other.”

She laughs gently, and fumbles with the label on the vial. She is trying to lighten the moment.
Probably because of how pale his face became at what she was suggesting.
But it isn’t working.

He had become very comfortable with oral sex over the last week. Finding that he truly loved
doing it and having it done to him, but the idea of penetration still made him choke on his own
breath, and made it hard to breathe. At all the touching, and exposure, and vulnerability, and…

“How about this Theo…” He watches her take off the top of the vial and bring it to her mouth.
“We wait til after next week. We wait until we have time again okay? No added pressure that
way.”

She tips the container back and swallows the contents.

“I… I want to Gingersnap I do, but I…” How should he say it? Does he even understand what he is
feeling enough to put it into words?

“No need to explain Theo. When we do, I don’t want fear to be a part of it. So whenever that is, it
is.” She grabs his kit, and hands it to him along with the invisibility cloak. “And if the fear never
goes away and we don’t. I’m okay with that too. Let’s get going.”

She pecks him on the lips, and winks at him.

He wants to assure her that it wouldn’t be a fork for him. That at some point the weight and fear
would leave, but he can’t. Because he isn’t sure of it himself.

Without saying anything to her, he covers them in the cloak, and opens the door.

He quickly leads her out of the manor, and down the pathway outside the gate before taking off the
cloak and grabbing her hand to apparate to the safehouse.

“Are you ready for this?”

She asks as she tries to steady herself.

“No are you?”

“Fuck yes, I’m ready to see all this shit go down. It’s about damn time we all know the truth.”

She grabs his hand, and pulls him through the wards. Her brother is standing in the doorway of the
house, and comes out to meet them.

“Where’s ‘Mione?”

“With the ferret. They will be here soon. We had to come early so I could talk to dad. Thanks for
sending the connections Ron, Hermione was able to set up the floo like Shacklebolt requested.”

That was a lie. Hermione had lied to Ron about her needs for the floo connections apparently, and
Ginevra was aware, and going along with it.

“No problem. It’ll make things easier during the attack. Dad is in his office. I’m going to wait here
for her.”

Theo rolls his eyes and grabs Ginevra's hand to walk into the house.

“Don’t do or say anything stupid Ron.”

She walks beside him into the house, as they hear Ron scoff behind them.
Theo has no desire to see that altercation, or be anywhere in close proximity. Now that Draco was
back to feeling better, he would have the energy to deal with the man.

Theo notices the house was already beginning to show signs of falling apart again. The stairs are
scuffed, one of the railings is broken, and the brown smudges on the walls from the fires and
improper ventilation are back.

You take care of what is important to you. At least you should.

Ginevra leads him to the door of her fathers office. Arthur Weasley had been one of the few people
who actually talked to him regularly when he had been spending a good deal of time at the
safehouse. They had even begun to have lunch together, sitting across from him at his desk as they
looked over pictures of his old collection, and talked about the stories behind the now gone
artifacts. He hadn’t seen the kind and funny man since Ginevra moved back in with him and…

Oh shit.

Theo freezes, and pulls his hand out of hers before she can open the door.

“Teddy wha..”

“I’ll wait for you out here.”

Her face contorts as she looks him over. “Why? I am sure my father would love to see you, and
talk to you about some rubber duck or…”

“No way Gingersnap. I can’t see your father after… you know.”

He starts to take a few steps back as he shakes his head. No way in hell would he be going in there
and looking at the father of the woman he had done… things to. How could he face him? Talk to
him? Pretend that he hasn’t been buried in between her…

The door to the office opens and Theo has never felt the urge to disappear so strongly before in his
life, as Arthur Fucking Weasley looks from his gorgeous daughter, over to him and smiles.

I can’t do this.

Don’t look at me sir.

Fuck, get it together Theo boy. He can’t suspect anything…

“Ginbug, Theodore! I thought I heard voices out here come in, come in. I have been missing both
of your company this last week.”
Everything is fine Theo.

You are fine.

Just calm down.

Just keep your eyes on the floor.

He feels a tug on his arm, and she basically forces him to enter the office. As he hears the door shut
behind him, he knows he is trapped.

“Here is the material you asked for, sweetheart.”

Never call her sweetheart, check.

He looks up slightly to see Ginevra taking a stack of Daily Prophets out of his hands.

“Thanks dad.”

The man smiles at her and turns his attention to him. Theo can feel the heat in his body rise to the
surface of his skin as her father’s eyes move over him. The man reaches out, and Theo can’t stop
from flinching, as his hand pats him on the shoulder.

“So my daughter is back to staying with you.”

Staying with me, sleeping with me, kissing me, touching me…

Fuck my life.

“Yes sir.”

His hand on his shoulder pulls him closer, making the sides of their bodies touch each other as he
extends his arm to wrap around to his other shoulder.

“Well I thank you Theodore for opening up your home and your life to The Order’s needs. That
was very gracious of you.”

“He is very giving dad.”

Theo’s head shoots up to glare at his witch who is smirking at him, at the hidden message they
both are aware of within her words.

Is she trying to kill him?

“That is very easy to see… Ginbug, how about you head off to the meeting room. Theodore and I
will catch up soon.”

Oh fuck no! Don’t you dare leave me Gingersnap.

I am barely holding it together.

“Okay, see you in a bit Teddy.” Theo hears the amusement in her words as she walks to the door.
He widens his eyes and tries to show her just how betrayed he is feeling as she moves closer and
closer to the door. She turns around and shoots him a wink. “Have fun.”

She shuts the door.

Traitor.

This is how I die.

This is it.

His panic and breathing become more out of sorts as he turns around to face the man again.

“Are you okay son?”

No, no I am not okay.

“Yes sir.”

Mr. Weasley looks him over before leaning back on the edge of his desk and crossing his legs over
each other. “She has been through a lot Mr. Nott. More than anyone her age should have to go
through.”

“I agree sir.”

“And I suspect you have as well. My daughter has a type we are all very aware of.”

Theo looks back down at the floor as her father confirms that he was privy to the nature of their
relationship. How would he do it? Theo’s father had been very creative with slow torturous pain.
Maybe Arthur Weasley was more of a quick to the punch kind of man.

He sees her father’s shadow travel into his space as he keeps his eyes on the floor.

“You make her smile Mr. Nott. You make her look like my little girl who used to be full of joy and
life...”

Theo’s breath starts coming out shallow and too quickly, matching the spots starting to take over
his vision.
“...And while my wife may have some reservations about her living with you currently…”

I know what she looks like naked… oh fuck… Theo calm down. Calm down.

“...I believe you are very good for her son. And I thank you for bringing that joy back into her
eyes.”

Mr. Weasley extends his hand to him.

To him.

He wants to shake his hand.

The hand that has…

Uh uh. No way.

Even though I promise sir, that I have washed them many times, and that your daughter enjoys
what they do, I cannot, in any life, touch you with these hands.

Theo takes a step back as his vision starts to go.

“She is very special to me sir. I promise you. I will never do anything ever to hurt her.”

The words come fast and light, as he tries to get them out before he runs out of air. He needs to get
out of this room, and away from the scrutinizing eyes of the father of the woman he had been doing
all kinds of unseemly things to.

He is going to see it. He is going to see right through me.

“I can see that son. I do hope that after this is over, that we all receive the chance to get to know
you better. And I still want to see that collection of yours someday.”

Theo nods his head. “Yes sir.”

Mr. Weasley finally lowers the hand he had been holding out to him, and lets out a small laugh and
shakes his head.

“You are free to go. Be careful opening the door. I am sure my daughter’s ear is pressed so hard to
the wood currently, that if you opened it quickly, she would fall onto the floor.”

As he is speaking, his voice raises and raises. The distant familiar feminine laugh from the hallway
only affirms the man’s suspicions.

“She is a lot Theodore.”

“She is my everything sir.” The words slip out before he means them to.

Theo is mortified with himself, but as he sees the soft smile transform the older wizard's face. He
thinks maybe he had finally said something right.

“I understand son, now run along. I need to finish a few things before the meeting.”

Theo nods his head and opens the door quickly before shutting it and exhaling loudly.

He can hear Ginevra laughing as she comes up next to him.

“Wicked witch.”

Her laugh grows, but she hands him another vial at the same time. Showing she knows even though
she is finding amusement from his current state, that he needs to be able to breathe again. He
downs it and keeps his eyes closed as he tilts his head upwards.

“You have no reason to be that nervous around my father Teddy.”

“I know what his daughter sounds like as she orgasms Ginevra. There is plenty of reasons to be
nervous around your father.”

“There is nothing to be ashamed about what we have done together. Sure I don’t want my father
knowing the intimate details of my sex life, but he is aware I do have one, and I think it is obvious
he knows you are a part of it.”

Theo groans loudly as he snaps his head back against the door. Her father was aware wasn’t he?

Damn it, and I actually really enjoyed talking with him. He is one of the only other people I know
who can talk more about random antiquities than me. And now I will never be able to look him in
the eyes again.

Fantastic.

You are worth it though Gingersnap.

“You do realize he basically told you he wants us to be together right?”

“No Ginevra, I have no clue what half of the things he said to me were. All I heard was my little
girl, and then he wanted to shake my hand, and my body wanted to combust into flames.”

“Well we can’t have that. I have plenty of plans for this body of yours.”

He groans again at her crass words. This day just continues to go to shit. And the meeting was
going to be no different. He should have fought harder to stay back in his rooms.

“I don’t want to do this.”

He feels her hand in his as she pulls him off the door.

“I know. We will grab seats closest to the door, and you can hold on to my invisibility cloak the
whole time.”
 He nods his head and starts walking with her slowly. They were minutes away from making some
moves that could have so many different outcomes, preparing for all of them was impossible.

And while that prospect seemed to excite the wicked witch holding his hand, and the evil witch
conspiring it all along with his brother, it did not do the same for him.

“Remember, no matter what happens, we stick to Hermione’s lead.”

“Okay.”

They turn the corner of the hallway to the meeting room, and both of them stop in their tracks at
what they see.

Not what.

But who.

A person.

A person they should not be seeing.

A person who was definitely not supposed to be there.

Shit…

“Hi Ginny.”

The person says with a huge smile as they walk towards the witch still holding his hand. He can
feel her start to shake as the man moves closer.

There are others in the hallway. Lots of others, watching with interest at what is happening in front
of them.

“Hi… Harry.”

Chapter End Notes

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 Hermione

It was confirmed again.

Not that she needed another confirmation.

She knew it.

Draco knew it.

They all knew it.

The first meeting surprised her; creating a good bit of confusion to work through for a while before
the anger set in with the clarity of what exactly she was hearing.

Draco had not needed the time. He knew as soon as the words left the representative's mouth.

He had almost blown his cover when he put two and two together. Just like he is struggling not to
do so now as the familiar Bulgarian in the fireplace buggers her name to hell like he always did.

She anchors her emotions to focusing on Draco’s uncharacteristically dark hands flexing and
squeezing his thighs. Doing the motion every time Viktor said her name, or smiled at her for a
leeringly long time that proved the history between them.

Ancient history at this point.

She already told Draco as much before this specific meeting, but it seemed the blonde, now bald
male next to her, was not appeased. Whispering predator over and over again under his breath.

She has to hold back a smirk.

“This is all very impressive Hermy-own.”

The seriousness of the meeting falters again at his wreck of her name. The other representatives
from Russia also flinch at the stutter.

“Just call me Granger, Viktor, like we discussed before, it is easier for you…”

“Do not call her Granger.”

The threat is clear. But the reason for the anger and bitten out words confuses the men in the floo
in front of her.

She can’t stop her eyes from rolling, or her hand from sliding behind his unfamiliar broad and
older body, to pinch him in the back to hopefully stop this nonsense.

If I could, I would throw a shoe. But that doesn’t seem appropriate to do with who he is pretending
to be at the moment.

“Ms. Granger will suffice.” Draco adds on, after she proves she will not be letting go of his skin
between her fingers until he does.

“Ms. Grrranger.” Viktor says it in a guttural way, dragging out the consonance with his accent as
he softly smiles at her again.

Seeing her on the other end of a floo call was surprising for all of them. She had expected that. She
knew her presence was something they all had come to never assume to see.

And I know who to thank for that…

She hears the rustling of parchment from their side of the floo as the Russian representatives in the
fireplace look down at what the owls had brought them.

“We are all very happy to see that your time back with The Order has created an increase in your
health in many aspects, Ms. Granger. We are all aware of your reputation, and can see by what you
have sent us, and what you have accomplished, that it precedes you.”

“Thank you sir.” It is all she says, because it is all she can convince herself to say in a realistic
way.

Her health.

What a load of absolute bollocks.

That bubbling righteous anger starts moving into her chest, making her skin flush and her nostrils
flare.

“A week you said?”

The man next to her who looks nothing like her wizard, nods his head. “You are the last
organization that we need verbal and contractual agreement with to move forward.”

She can’t look at Draco as he speaks. His voice sounds nothing like the comforting and familiar
drawl she is used to hearing from him. The voice coming from him surprisingly seems to affect her
more than the look of him in this form.

The oldest of the men in the floo nods his head and looks up. “This is much more doable now with
the funds you are allocating, and the housing you are providing. We should be able to send a group
in two days for the final planning meeting, as the others are moved to the stations specified. It is
quite a feat to allocate these large funds in such a short amount of time Ms. Granger.”

The man turns another page over and keeps nodding his head. Impressed. If Hermione was being
honest, they couldn’t take all of the credit. Most of the plan and mapping for the final attack had
already been done by The Order, and discussed in depth with the leaders of each organization.
They had been preparing for the final raid for over a month now. What is new, is the funding to
make it happen quicker. And the housing ports for the reinforcements to stay in as they await the
day.

She has her snakes to thank for those aspects.

But all the organizations would attribute these necessary and needed measures to her.

“So all you need from us is to sign the contract like usual? And this vial you say that holds…”

“Yes, like before, the binding magic will allow our document to show the agreement and assurance
today for the rest of The Order, as well as to give you access to the funds. And the vial will prove
to be useful for us all if things do not go as planned.”

An insurance policy, as they had come to describe it to every organization they have met with.

It was really blackmail, but they didn’t need to know that.

It would save them a hell of a lot of trouble in the future as well.

The three men all turn and look at each other. She watches as one waves his wand and casts a
silencing charm between their connections to talk further to the leading members.

Hermione slumps back a bit and rubs at her eyes. It had been a very long couple of days.

The man next to her continues to stare ahead, his anger present to anyone who knew who he truly
was as he continues to ball his fists against his legs.

“It’s working Draco. Everyt…”

“It’s not enough. He deserves worse, Granger.”

She lets out an annoyed huff that doesn’t have any conviction behind it. She was struggling to put
up a fight against him since they saved him a couple days ago. She had missed him so much over
the past week, that any time his intense personality came out, she found herself hanging onto every
word, instead of firing back like normal.

She is sure that will wear off though with time.

“Do you trust me?”

He blinks and turns his attention to her. “With my life.”

“Do you believe in m…”

“Absolutely.”

She smiles, and meets the eyes that are not his. She is sick of seeing him in this body. “Then trust
me. Our plan will work.”

Our plan.

They had come up with this together. Came together, and created something that she couldn't have
done without him. It was different making these large plans, and decisions with someone who
matched her in a way she never had experienced before him.

Hermione starts to reach up to caress his hand, but she stops herself in time as she hears the
connection to the floo become noisy again.

“We have discussed and are all in agreement.”

The man sitting next to her, gives a quick head nod that is true to the character he is pretending to
be. No emotions whatsoever showing in his face.

Hermione pulls out the binding parchment that had all of the signatures of the organizations that
agreed with them earlier. A simple spell The Order had been using since the first war.

She watches as the name of the leader of the Russian underground rebellion scrawls on the last line
of the parchment. The page shimmers slightly as the scrawling ends. Binding them all. It was the
only way to ensure trust on everyone’s parts.

“Perfect. The funds should be accessible at this time. We will see some of you in a few days.”

The two older men both exchange pleasantries with the Polyjuiced Draco next to her. As far as they
knew, this was a meeting just like the many others they had been a part of with The Order leader
beside her.

Maybe people weren’t wrong when they said Draco was a master manipulator. Watching him
pretend to be someone else so well, getting the small mannerisms, the slight facial expressions, and
even body demeanor down seemed to be easy for him. Because he watched people. He viewed
everyone as a threat until proven otherwise. The skill was coming in handy. That is, until Viktor
would look at her, or acknowledge her existence.

“It truly is great to see you doing better Ms. Granger. We hope you continue to recover, and
provide the hope the world needs alongside Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to finally end this
war.”

The two men curtly nod in her direction as she tries to raise her mouth into a smile at what they had
said. “Thank you.”

The two heads disappear, leaving only Viktor who is still beaming at her with his sincere and
emotion-filled grin. He points to the man Draco is pretending to be next to her. “I told Shacklebolt
and the tall red friend of yours every time we spoke, that my Hermy-own would come back.
My lŭvitsa is a fighter.”

Hermione hears Draco’s teeth grind next to her.

“Thank you Viktor, I appreciate the confidence you have in me.”

"Always lŭvitsa, I shall see you again soon. Until then…” Viktor bows his head, and right before
he breaks the connection, sends a wink in her direction.

The man was ridiculous and apparently hadn’t changed much over the years. She looks down at
the agreement, and starts putting all of the forms and other things she needed for the meeting today
into her bag as she stands.

“My lioness…”

Of course he knows Bulgarian…

She feels large hands grab her sides to turn her around, but she pulls away from his touch quickly,
and glares at him.
“You still look like him Draco.”

Understanding flashes across the face that is not his, and he stops touching her. No way would she
live with any memory of Shacklebolt's hands on her. Even if it wasn’t really him.

Neither of them speak for a few minutes as she compiles everything into her bag.

She is ready.

She feels ready.

Ready to release all this onto someone.

Ready to take back more pieces of herself others continued to try to take.

Not this time. This time, I am fighting back.

She feels hands on her bare upper arms again, but now they are cool, and refreshing, and familiar.

“I expect it to be made very clear to the Russian that nothing about you belongs to him.” His words
that sound like him again are said against her skin, making her hear and feel them at the same time.
The skin under the words goosebumps as that fire in her belly starts to stir.

“It was a meaningless comment and pet name, Draco. I have not been interested in Viktor for a
very long time.”

The hands on her hips tighten and turn her around to face him. He lowers his forehead to hers
quickly, and brings their mouths together. She melts into him, as he kisses her deeper and deeper,
pulling her into his chest as hard as he can.

“Even so…” He pulls away, and kisses her closed eyes. “It will be made clear exactly who you
belong to...” His mouth moves to her jaw, and she tilts her head to give him more access. “Or I will
have you wear my Quidditch jersey that I fucked you in. The one that still smells like the two of
us...” His tongue licks up the length of her neck. “That way, it will be very clear to the never
ending array of wizards that you, are mine.”

The hot warmth of his tongue leaves her neck, and pushes into her mouth with a force that can only
be described as claiming.

His hands move underneath her shirt and touch her bare skin. His words, and movements make a
small noise happen between her shallower breaths, as he presses into her harder.

They do not have time for this.

They hadn't had either time, or energy to find the peace, and little moments of reprieve in each
other's bodies since he had been forced to kill all those people.

Except for the one horrible memory of the detached taking that neither of them wanted to
remember, or even count.

She wants to disappear into his arms, and envelope herself into the world where only his skin, and
scent, and sounds exist. Where there is no war, no monsters, no lies.
He had given her so many of those moments already. Looking back on the months she has been
with him, she can see how he has pushed, and held, and carried in all the right moments she needed
each.

Like he knew somehow what she needed and when, even when it was unclear to her.

"We did it."

"You did it." He says as his hands move to her breasts. They press and squeeze the soft flesh in his
palm before moving his fingers to concentrate on her nipples. “It was amazing to watch.”

His hands still knead at her breasts as he pushes her backwards into the wall of their room. That
fiery anger she has been consumed with, continues to twist into something different, as he presses
his front against her. Proving how much he had enjoyed watching her do what she had just done.

“Seeing your power, your control, your… hope.” His mouth is barely touching hers. Slight, teasing
meetings of his soft lips make her whine in between the breaths of his words to her.

“It is amazing to watch you too.” She is annoyed with his lingering, and pushes forward, wrapping
her hand around his neck to pull his face to hers. Where it belongs. Where they belong. Together.
“To watch you be manipulative, and cunning, and dangerous.”

Dangerous for me.

His fingers squeeze and pull her nipples as his teeth grab her bottom lip into his mouth.

“So... I’m danger and you’re hope?”

She nods her head, and her hand travels into his soft platinum hair, pulling at it as his hold on her
lip almost becomes painful.

“A dangerous hope then.” He says as he releases her lip, and pulls away, stopping his hands on her
breasts as well. She opens her eyes to see his sparking silver looking back at her.

He is still different. She knows he is trying to to hide it. She suspects her and Theo are the only
ones who had noticed the slight change in him. A bit quieter. Seeming farther away.

Like he usually became when he was occluding deeply.

Like he is now.

Like he has to now after doing… what he had to do.

Just because they had taken the dark magic and split it amongst the 7 of them, did not take away
the memory or the emotional impact of those actions.

She hasn’t said anything about it to him. If he needed time before facing those memories and
actions, he should take it. Merlin knows she needed time to accept everything that had happened to
her. She could grant him the same.

“Danger and hope, they… we go well together don’t we?”

She smiles softly up at him at the intense way he is looking at her at asking the question. Her hand
in his hair travels down the side of his face. “Yes we do. A good team.”

He smirks. “A powerful team.”

The grandfather clock in the corner of the room starts half chiming, half making an extremely
horrible grinding noise. Ever since Draco had woken up extremely cranky one morning, and
knocked over the antique with a misplaced hex, it had been making the horrible sound.

Hermione looks past the large man to see the time.

Damn it. We have no time at all for this.

Draco seems to register her unspoken thoughts, and presses his body harder against her, and his
hands start doing the truly sinful things to her sensitive areas.

“I know, we have to go.” He hums into her skin as he presses his mouth into the crook of her neck
before backing up.

It is clear neither of them really want to. But as she looks back at her bag, and at the document
sticking out of the top, she remembers what she is about to do. What she is about to confront. What
she is about to claim back.

My name. My mind. My power.

She grabs the bag, and slings it over her shoulder as Draco moves out of the room casting the
detection spells.

She follows him out the door, and quickly down the hallway to the front door.

They all know what they are doing, and how the actions are going to have ramifications both
positive and negative. But the positives outweigh the negatives. Hermione feels as they walk
through the wards surrounding Nott manor. Draco pulls her into him, and apparates them to the
outskirts of the safehouse.

The world spins slightly like it always does, and she gives herself a minute to pull herself together
into Draco's side.

"Should have brought the jersey… Tell the fucker to go get Longbottom, Granger.”

She looks up and sees why Draco is whispering the words down at her as Ron walks towards them.

Usually Neville or Ginny waited for them, and helped them through the wards. Ron never did.
Probably because he never wanted to be close to Draco, let alone touch him in any way that was
not violence.

Ron walks closer to them, and waves with a tentative smile. “Hey ‘Mione. Did you find the
information helpful?”
“It was, thank you Ron. Where is Neville?”

Ron walks in front of her, completely ignoring the huffing dragon behind her. Draco was on a short
fuse as well. First Viktor and now Ron. She grabs his hand in reassurance.

“I’m not sure. I was asked to cover for him. Here, I’ll pull you through.”

He holds out his hand to her, and she takes it. The ginger pauses before holding out his other hand
that stays empty.

We don’t have time for this.

She yanks the hand she is holding forward, and places it into Ron’s hand. She ends up having to
pull the three of them through herself since both men seemed frozen.

As soon as she feels the wards pressure disappear, her hand is taken back by the blonde who starts
walking very quickly up towards the house. Leaving Ron back at the ward line.

“Thanks Ron. See you inside.”

She watches him stare for a moment, before nodding his head, and turning back around to wait for
others.

“You shouldn’t trust him Granger.”

“He was my best friend Draco. Let me handle him how I see fit.”

He huffs again as they enter the house. She had wanted to be earlier than they currently are, but the
meeting with Russia took a bit longer than she planned.

A specific figure comes walking down the fixed stairs with Aberforth. As soon as she sees him,
she feels her hands start to shake and the fire rises to her skin.

I see you, you bastard. You have no idea what I am about to do to you.

Hermione hears a dark chuckle from up above her, making her blink and turn her attention to the
smirking blonde.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I am just very much looking forward to watching you destroy that man.” He leans down
and places a chaste kiss to her cheek. But his face lingers against the side of hers. “Seeing you on
fire does things to me Granger.”

She pushes away from him as she fights the smile trying to take over.

“Ginny and Theo are already here?”

“They should be. I believe Red said she needed…”

Draco’s voice cuts off as the group of people in front of them part, and they see down the hallway.

It takes Hermione a minute to realize why Draco had cut off his words, and his eyes had widened.

It takes the looks on the others around them, all eyes on the back of a messy dark haired man
making his way down the hallway.

Towards Ginny and Theo who are looking just as surprised and at a loss.

“Hi Ginny.”

What the…

The voice, the hair, the clothes, the…

“Hi… Harry.” She hears Ginny croak out the words, as her face pales and her hand squeezes
Theo’s.

It is Harry she is seeing. The others around them are all staring as well, but for a different reason
than she is.

How is this happening right now?

What is going on?

She pulls Draco past the crowd of people and towards Theo and Ginny. The Harry reaches
forward, and pulls his old girlfriend into his arms. Ginny’s body stiffens, and her arms stay frozen
at her side, never releasing Theo’s hand in hers.

The Harry moves his face next to Ginny’s, and Hermione watches her expression change slightly
as the stranger in between them pulls away.

As soon as he does, Theo pulls Ginny into him, and starts whispering in her ear. Ginny looks in
shock and just stares ahead instead of responding to Theo.

“Hermione!”

She turns her attention back to the man who is now facing her.

It is him.

It is the glasses.

The scar.

The hair.
The quirky little smile with the dimple.

“Harry.”

The name is said as a whisper and is cut off as The Harry launches his arms around her in the same
manner he had with Ginny.

She feels all the similar sensations as his arms pull her in.

The jab of his glasses against the side of her head.

The feel of his scruff on the side of her face.

It doesn’t make sense.

None of this makes sense, and her body doesn’t know what to do.

It almost feels like she is under attack with this reality that can’t be true.

No.

He is gone.

He is dead.

He is…

“I’m sorry Hermione. They want me impersonating him for this meeting. Kingsley didn’t tell me
til this morning or I would have tried to warn you.”

Neville.

Thank Merlin.

Hermione looks up to see Theo pulling an obviously distraught Ginny around the corner and into a
room.

If this was affecting her at such a high level, she can’t imagine what Ginny is feeling.

She can feel the eyes of the other Order members behind her.

Possibly Kingsley himself.

She wasn’t supposed to know the truth. Kingsley didn’t know that she knew this wasn’t Harry, and
this was not the planned moment to give up that information.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before letting go of Draco’s hand, and wrapping her
arms around The Harry embracing her. She turns her head, and starts letting out little noises of
sadness into his shoulder.
Just another fucking lie of yours Kingsley…

“Why does he want Harry here for this meeting?” She whispers the words in between noises she
thinks would be appropriate for seeing her best friend for the first time in months.

“I think to show some united front. To show you three back together again for this final battle. I’m
not really sure.”

That makes sense. She should have seen this coming. She should have expected Kingsley to do
something like this.

After what she hopes is enough time, she pulls away and wipes the fake tears from her eyes as The
Harry smiles softly at her.

"I have missed you so much Hermione. We have a lot to catch up on."

She can feel all the eyes on them both as they play roles neither of them want to play.

"Yes, we do. After the meeting I want to hear everything you have been up to over the last couple
of months."

Nothing. You have been up to nothing. Because this isn't real. Because you are dead Harry.

“Fuck…”

She turns around, and watches the crowd of people part to see Ron staring at the two of them. He
apparently wasn't made aware of this little stunt either.

“Hey mate. Been a minute huh?”

Ron looks from The Harry talking to him, to her. Now a lot of people are watching, crying,
whispering at the scene taking place before them. Including the orchestrator of this whole fucked
up situation.

Ron stares for a few more seconds before he makes eye contact with Kingsley, and it hits him what
he has to do as well. What part he has to play.

He plasters on an extremely over the top smile, and walks quickly into his fake best friend's arms.
They hug for a moment before Ron looks over The Harry’s shoulder and grabs her arm, pulling her
into their embrace.

I don’t want to do this.

No… I can’t pretend this.

This…
Us…

This was something special.

Don't take this too.

Don't make this into something… wrong.

She squeezes her eyes shut, and blocks out all the familiar feels that are not what they truly are.

Her body and mind don’t know what to make of it. She was already full of strong emotions before
this fucked up situation was sprung onto them.

She holds her breath, tightens every muscle of her body, and tries not to move an inch so she
doesn’t have to feel this. So she can detach herself from what she is being forced to do.

“Sorry guys.”

“What the fuck Neville!? Why are you…”

“Kingsley told me I had to. Told me he wanted…”

“Never mind, not important. ‘Mione, you have to act like you don’t know. If Kingsley finds out, I
will…”

“Yes, yes, I know Ron, obviously."

A blinding flash makes them all flinch, and look up to see someone pointing a camera at the three
of them.

She pulls away and turns back to Draco, who is watching it all, putting the game that was being
played together as quickly as she is.

Pawns. We are being used as pawns again.

Sorry Kingsley, but we aren’t playing the same game anymore.

We are no longer the same naive children.

You all have made sure of that.

“The Golden Trio finally together again. Mr. Potter, it is great to have you back with us.” Kingsley
comes to stand beside The Harry, and pats him on the back, leading him into the meeting room.

“Of course Kingsley. Ready to finally put an end to this war.”

Hermione glares at the back of Shacklebolt’s head as he enters the meeting room with others
following.

This keeps becoming more and more personal.

First her name, her mind, and now her best friend.

The disrespect, the lack of humanity, the objectification of the boy she will always call her brother.

He was a person. He is a person. Not something to be used for your own benefit.

She can't help but bawl her hands into fists as her body starts to shake with a new level of fury and
wrath that she didn't think was possible.

She jumps at Draco's cool touch on her skin that is overheating with the bubbling rage inside her.
“We should check on Red.”

He is right. Ginny needed them. And she needed a minute to pull herself together before walking
into that room. She turns and nods her head, walking around the corner where Theo had pulled
Ginny. She knocks slightly on the door, and Theo peeks out before opening it wider once he sees
that it is them.

They both move inside the storage room, and see Ginny rubbing her hands into the skin of her
chest as she stares blankly down at the floor.

“What the fuck is going on? Why is he imperso…”

“They took a picture. They have to make Harry a part of this somehow if it is supposed to be
believable. Harry would never let us attack without him.”

Hermione says as she watches Ginny press her eyes closed so hard, her eyelids turn white. Trying
to hold it in. Trying to gain some control.

Theo moves to take Ginny’s hand off of her chest. As soon as he makes contact, the always strong
ginger turns into his shoulder and falls into him. Theo wraps his one arm around her waist, and
cups her head into his chest with the other as she shakes and convulses.

"Him… it… it felt too…"

Theo whispers comforting sounds into the hair on the top of her head. "I know Ginevra. I know.
I'm so sorry."

“I can’t… I can’t see… him, it. I can’t.”

“Give her a calming…”

“I already did Draco. She just had her fucking dead boyfriend touch her. Give her a minute.” Theo
buries his face into the crook of her neck, and starts saying something to her that Hermione can’t
hear.

Draco runs his hand through his hair. “Leave it to the git to still be a fucking pain in the arse even
after he’s dead.”

Hermione elbows him in the side at his low voiced words. “I should have seen this coming. I’m
sorry Ginny."

"So this is the Shacklebastard too?"

Ginny pulls her face off of Theo to look at her friend who is shaking her head in agreement. The
ginger stares into the space between them, as Theo pulls the strands of her hair stuck to her wet
face behind her ear.

"Gingersnap, if you need to leave, we can go home. I don’t…”

“No. I want to be there. I want to see this.” Ginny looks up at Hermione and she knows exactly
what she's feeling as her face hardens and becomes unforgiving.

Ginny is mad.

Theo is mad.

Draco is mad.

Hermione is mad.

Madder than she thought was possible.

"Destroy him Hermione."

She can't help the twisted smile from forming on her face. "With pleasure."

Hermione turns around, and walks into the meeting room that is filled with people. Many people
she doesn't know. But it doesn't matter. She almost walks over to the back of the room, but sees an
empty seat towards the front in a section of the room that is set up differently than the rest. A
spotlight area for the Golden Trio, next to The Order leader himself.

What a performance...

The chair between The Harry and Ron is empty. Hermione rolls her eyes as she walks further in.
She can feel the eyes on her, but she doesn't acknowledge any of them. Not until she is blinded by
another fucking flash.

This area of her life she did not miss. The attention, her name always being in the prophet. While
the articles of Harry and Ron had been salacious and incorrect, they at least focused on many
aspects of their lives. That was not the case for Hermione. Even with her great grades, her large
accomplishments, and similar near death experiences to the two men she is walking towards, every
article about her focused on one area. Her love life.

A life that was non existent during that time.

It had infuriated her to no end. And after Sleazy Skeeter paired her with Harry, and created so
many problems within their little group, Hermione knew she finally had enough. No one could say
she didn’t have her moments of vindictiveness. Putting the reporter in a jar had been one of the
highlights of her life thus far. Every time she thought about the woman bouncing off the walls of
the glass jar, trying to escape, she couldn’t hold back the smile. It would be a lie if she didn’t admit
she had the tendency to give the jar a good shake every once and a while for good measure.

That connection on Kingsley’s list was one she knew she wouldn’t be able to persuade or talk to.

“Ms. Granger, can you look at the camera and…”

“No.”

She continues to walk to the apparent designated area for her, not caring how rude she had just
been, not caring in the slightest what they think, what their opinions are, how they feel.

None of this is real anyways.

I know what is real.

I'm one of the few who do.

The Harry and Ron both nod their heads to her as she sits down, and places her steady hands on top
of the table.

She sees Draco, Theo, and Ginny enter. Theo and Ginny both stop and slide directly to the left of
the door into the very back corner of the room. The farthest away from most of the people for Theo
who is balling the invisibility cloak in his hands, and the farthest away from The Harry for Ginny.
Both of them are tethered to each other and trying to focus on one another instead of the crowded
beyond understanding room.

Draco doesn't stop and stand with them.

No.

He continues, without faltering, directly towards her. Intense, sparking eyes only on her, as the
room grows quieter as he walks further and further in. Hermione sees the faces of many wrinkle
into obscene looks of disgust and fear.

I believe in you Draco Malfoy.

Fuck the rest of them.

Her eyes never leave his as he moves around the table, and comes up behind her.

"Ferret, there's no more seats, go stand in the back with Gin and Nott. You really don't belong
up..."

"I belong wherever she is." She turns to see him standing directly behind her chair, looking down
at her with one of her favorite smirks.

"Yes you do."

She grabs his hand resting on the back of her chair and taps.

REAL
"Thank you all for joining us. Especially those who have traveled to be here as we prepare for the
final attack." Hermione can't help, but flinch at Kingsley's booming voice that makes the room go
completely silent. "This moment has been years in the making, and thanks to all of you, it is finally
here. We have gathered to fortify and discuss problem solving..."

The Order leader waves his wand into the small empty space in front of him. A large interactive
map of Malfoy Manor, and a larger map of Europe pop up, and take over the empty space.

Kingsley walks up and down the area in front of the map, going over the broad plan that had been
in place ever since they made contact with The Order, and set everything into motion.

Hermione, Draco, Theo, Ginny, Ron, and a few others would be taking care of the raid in Malfoy
Manor. As they would be attacking at the beginning of the next spectacle.

The rest of the forces are planned to attack every large barrack, stronghold, supply facility, and
camp to ensure You Know Who's army was handled quickly and efficiently.

Taking back Azkaban and the Ministry were also top priorities.

The older members, and representatives discuss this phase for sometime. Talking numbers, and
strategies, and other points that her family has no part in. She feels herself creeping closer and
closer to the edge of her seat as she follows the discussion. Waiting… waiting for her moment.

Kingsley stops his walk and looks towards the full room. "Now, the continuous issues arise with
the timeline we have been forced to try to work with. The next spectacle is to be held a week from
today…"

"What issues? I thought we binded to an agreement that dealt with those?"

Hermione hears the hands on the back of her chair squeeze the wood, making it creak and groan
with the pressure. She feels the corners of her mouth rising as she watches Kingsley give a
confused expression to one of the group leaders she had met with during the previous days.

Here we go…

The leader of the group looks to her, and she sees Kingsley follow his eyes as she stands up, and
pulls out the binding contract.

"Yes, you are correct Mr. Robins. I did create a solution to the funding and housing issue that was
hindering us from being able to attack. As Shacklebolt will remember from the multitude of
meetings the two of us have been holding over the course of the past couple of days with every
group in alliance with us."

Hermione doesn't look up to the tall, dark skinned man who she knows is glaring at her.

It isn't the time.

She can't revel in this yet. She has a lot to show, a lot to say, a lot to gain control over again.

"Due to financial and locational assistance from defected Death Eaters: Draco Malfoy, Theo Nott,
Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, and Daphne Greengrass, we were able to give funds and housing
to our allies." Hermione floats the binded document into the area above the maps so everyone in
the room can see.

"The funds and addresses were made accessible to all groups via this binding contract. All housing
units can now be updated to the map to ensure we have every area covered. But as I know
Shacklebolt agrees, I believe we have created housing options close to every large Death Eater
holding."

She adds the locations to the map of Europe, and watches as the small colored dots appear near
every Death Eater marked location.

A couple people move closer to the document to read over the specifics of what she is declaring,
while others take in the map. She gives them time to skim the large piece of parchment, and finally
looks over to the man whose eyes she has felt on her ever since she spoke up.

She doesn't blink or curl into herself. She doesn't feel the other her trying to whisper, or her body
start to shake as she takes in the threat Kingsley's facial expression is promising her. It isn't really in
his face though. He always seemed to have an emotionless look plastered on no matter what the
situation. His face was a good liar. But his eyes were not. As they are not right now as he connects
what she had done, and what she had possibly learned.

Yes Kingsley, I know.

“I recognize some of the names you just listed, but the others I have not heard of before.” Says an
older wizard who looks tentatively at the blonde man towering behind her.

“It was the one area truly holding us back, and slowing us down. The funding of The Order has
been slowly and slowly dwindling as this war continues. I took the initiative to reach out, and
create connections with certain members of the Sacred 28 households I believed would help. The
defected Death Eaters at our disposal were willing to give very generous sums of their inheritance,
and vaults. The turning point of this war can, and should be attributed to their bravery and
generosity.”

The room is silent, but the eyes turn to The Order leader still staring at her.

“I agree with Ms. Granger. As someone who has had the privilege of knowing each of these young
people.” Minerva moves to stand next to Kingsley, and gives a slight nod of her head in
Hermione’s direction. “We should be very grateful for the risk they are taking.”

Thank you Minerva.

No way would Hermione allow their names to be brought down, like hers had been.

“Great job Hermione, like always.” The innocent sweet words come from The Harry to her left.

Kingsley turn his eyes to the man, who cowers under his gaze.
Many people start talking specifics, and finalizing the desires that were now made possible.

“Let us move the discussion of the second wave attacks to the War Room. All those not a part of
this phase, please report back to your posts.”

Hermione blinks and watches as people start to stand and leave the room.

Wait… That’s it?

You aren’t going to fight me, bring me down, try to control me again?

Ron, and The Harry both stand, and she feels a cool hand pulling her up out of her seat as well.

“You Ms. Granger, stay behind. There are a few things I would like to discuss with you in private.”

The two of them stand staring at each other in silence as the room empties.

“Mates, I have to go take another Polyjuice for the next meeting. I’ll see you later.” Hermione
doesn’t turn her eyes away, but gives The Harry a nod at his whispered words.

Ron is looking at her, and then back at Kingsley with a concerned expression, before he leans in
closer.

‘’Mione, what did you do?”

“What I should have done from the beginning Ron. Leave.”

Her friend next to her doesn’t move.

“Ron, I said leave.”

She doesn’t trust him enough to be here for this moment. A part of her, and all of Draco believed
he had been a part of Kingsley’s lies. She doesn’t want to believe it, but at the same time, she
would not take the added risk of relying on him at this point.

“Mr. Weasley, please go and start the next meeting. I will be there shortly.”

Ron nods his head after a few moments and starts to step away. “Don’t push him ‘Mione. You
don’t want him as an enemy.”

“Anyone who tries to control me and my story is already an enemy Ron.”

She watches as Ron recognizes the threat in her sentence, and gulps loudly. His eyes look from her
to behind her, and then back to her. He opens his mouth to say something else as his face pales. His
mouth hangs open, hands fisting and unfisting at his sides as he battles with something.

Finally, he decides to say nothing and closes his mouth, and starts to walk out of the room.

The only one’s left are her, Draco, and Kingsley.

“You can go as well…”

“I am not leaving her alone with you.”

She can feel his presence hovering over her, as Kingsley moves to stand directly in front of her.
The only thing between them being the small table.

“Of course you won’t Mr. Malfoy. Always have to stay close to her don’t you? To ensure her…
safety.”

She scoffs. “No Kingsley, you have that all wrong. I am the one here ensuring your safety.”

She sits back down in her seat, folding her hands over one another.

“You do realize that you have broken multiple laws, correct Ms. Granger?”

“How would I know Kingsley, with my mind being… what did you call it… splintered and beyond
repair?”

His eyes turn murderous as they glare at her, and as she makes it clear how she knew what he had
been saying about her.

It now made sense why she hadn’t been paraded in front of every group they were trying to get on
their side like Ron and The Harry were. Why she hadn’t been pressured into taking on the role as
the Brightest Witch of The Age by The Order leader.

Because he had been creating a new title for her. The Broken Girl. That is what he had called her
time and time again to the organizations asking about her, requesting her presence and insight. On
the papers and correspondence, those were the words used to describe her. What they were
informed to believe about her. Kingsley had told them all about the details of her time captured by
Dolohov. Of the torture and violation she had been through, and how that had destroyed her mind
and ability to be of any use to them rather than a connection and opportunity created by her
existence.

“Why would you say those things Kingsley?”

The man leans forward and places both of his hands on the table between them, bringing his face
closer to hers.

As he moves closer, she sees Draco’s shadow fall over her more, and his touch on her shoulder.

“Because I am under the impression that they are true Ms. Granger.”

“No you are not. I think it is quite clear that I am of sound mind and body.” She leans a bit forward
herself. Challenging another man who was trying to take something away from her again. “You
say them because you see me as a threat to your leadership, to the power you have been working
towards. Don’t pretend this is all not due to your selfish desires you are placing before actual
people.”

He didn’t need to do this with Harry because he was dead. He didn’t need to do this with Ron
because Ron’s desires always have been for notoriety more than actual power. She was the threat.
She was the one who could turn people to her leadership rather than his.

The man chuckles lightly and shakes his head. “You are no threat to me Ms. Granger. Especially
after this… action of yours. I could have you put to trial for your illegal use of Polyjuice potion and
impersonating a wizard of power.”

“Oh because you are not guilty whatsoever of taking advantage of the manipulative uses of
Polyjuice potion either are you Kingsley?”
All the humor in his expression disappears. Hermione is pretty sure she sees the corners of his
mouth fall slightly as it registers what she had said to him.

“Excuse me?”

“I know.”

A pause.

A long pause.

“You know what Ms. Granger?”

“I know Harry is dead.”

His jaw makes a clicking sound.

He doesn’t respond, so she continues.

“I know you have been lying to these organizations for months. About me, about Harry, about I am
sure a multitude of other things. I know about the promised future favors and political positions
you have given them in exchange for their support. I know about it all Kingsley.” She grabs her
bag off of the ground next to her, and pulls out the vial with the blueish stringing smoke circling
around inside the container. “So this is how this is going to go. You will say nothing against me
and my health again. You will support the correct and true narrative that I am stronger than I have
ever been. You will continue to go along with the agreements I have made through the binding
contract. We will finally win this fucking war."

Hermione twirls the vial in between her fingers, and leans back on her chair.

"And in exchange, I will not show every single organization the memories we all have of Harry
laying dead in this safehouse."

She knows if the groups found out he had been lying to them about Harry’s existence, they would
lose trust in the man trying to gain a coveted seat of power after all this was over. They would step
away from supporting him, and that was something she knows Kingsley was striving just as hard to
ensure as he was to win this war.

She would take that power position away from him in other ways after all this was over.

The large man continues to stare at her for a long time before letting out a breath, and standing up
straight.

"You are playing a dangerous game Ms. Granger."

"At least I am a player instead of a pawn."

Kingsley scoffs, and turns his eyes to the man behind her. "Now we all know that isn't true, don't
we Mr. Malfoy."

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Strong pale arms appear on both side of her body, as Draco rests his hands on the tabletop and
leans forward.

She is surrounded by him, can almost feel his pulsing magic in the small space between them.

"Keep her name out of your mouth, and I will keep your life out of my hands."

The two men don't move.

They don't speak.

They just stare.

Having what seems a silent conversation as their eye bare into each other.

Kingsley was stuck. They had placed him in a corner with only one way out. The way they led
him.

And he is hating it. Those lying eyes show his malice.

Show that they needed to continue to handle him carefully.

But they also show we just won.

"This discussion is over." At her words Draco straightens himself, and pulls her chair out to allow
her to stand.

She thinks about saying something else. But decides to turn her gaze away from the man, and
without hesitation, walks out of the room.

Ending this herself.

Not waiting to be excused.

Or to be told what to do.

She decided this was over.

She was in control.

I have some control.

They open the door, and Hermione sees Ginny tucking an extendable ear into her pocket, and
shooting her a wink before grabbing Theo’s hand and walking quickly out of the safehouse.

She moves to follow. She can't control her breathing that continues to become more and more
shallow. Or the quickness or her walk. Or the addictive adrenaline making her body feel a way it
hadn't for a very long time.
"How do you feel?"

"Powerful."

His hand encases her own as they exit the house and move to the ward line. He squeezes hard,
almost painfully, like he is holding himself back and grounding himself in the simple contact.

"You are."

She smiles and chokes on the breath that gets caught in her throat.

This was all about to end.

This was all about to finally be over.

Over.

Done.

She could live again.

They could be again.

They could dream again.

And she… she believed she could live again.

"You know I care about you right?"

She looks up to her wizard for the first time since she had taken back another huge piece of herself.
With him there, supporting her, like he always did. His facial features are sharp and his eyes are
searing into her.

Maybe care isn't the right word anymore.

"Yes I do." He kisses the top of her head; a gesture more sweet than the way she can feel his touch
longing for.

Sweeter than she is longing for as well.

"And you understand that I know you care for me as well?"

"I hope that is clear to you."

Ginny grabs hold of both of them and pulls them through the wards. Draco apparates her back
behind the large stone outside of Nott Manor.

"Why are you asking me this?"

Hermione doesn’t answer him right away. She turns around, and watches Ginny disappear and
Theo start walking towards the manor.

The power, the energy, the fire in her needs an outlet. Needs release. Needs to continue to grow,
and build, and be.

"Because…" She pauses and looks back at Draco, cupping both sides of his face with her hands.
She meets his intense gaze, and doesn't look away. "I want you to fuck me like you don’t. Right
here. Right now."

She yanks his mouth to her and digs her hands into his neck and scalp. He makes a dark low noise
into her mouth before pushing her back against the rock.

Hands are all over her skin, tearing, scratching, pulling in a ravenous way, in a powerful way. Her
hands and teeth are doing the same to him, and he takes and gives in just the way she is craving.

"You want it rough?" Her jeans are pulled off of her, and he throws her bare skin against the cold
hard surface of the rock behind her. "You want to lose control, and be in control at the same time?"

He fists the front of her knickers and instead of scooting them down, pulls with a force that rips
them from her body. Her mouth is laying claim to every beautiful part of him it can, proving her
power over a force like him as he lets out a hiss as she sinks her teeth into his skin.

"You can take it can't you, you want it don't you?" He pushes two fingers into her as he thumbs her
clit. Making her scream at the blissful intrusion. As she is thrashing, Draco grabs her hands moving
up and down his chest, and traps them in his. He pushes them above her head, scratching against
the rough textured surface. "You want to show your strength, your resilience to take, and win over
anything?

The glorious fingers thrusting into her disappear, and she hears the sound of his zipper being pulled
down.

"You want the evidence of the power you have?" He thrusts all the way inside of her roughly.
Making her body arch, and her legs press against his sides. He captures her scream with his mouth
and devours it as he starts pushing in and out of her at a relentless pace. "Feel your strength. Feel
how watching you be conniving, and brilliant, and clever makes my body respond to you. Feel
what your fire does to me. Burn me. Burn all of me Hermione."

His free hand not holding her arms into the rock, moves in between them and starts pressuring her
clit.

She can feel the cuts and scratches from him thrusting and maneuvering her entire being with his
dick, but she loves the burn as much as him.

"Show me. Show me how you love the fire too."

Her orgasm explodes inside her unexpectedly. It catches her off guard but consumes all of her in
that instant. Releasing everything she had been repressing, and keeping safe for so long in fear.

She screams into his mouth again as her walls squeeze around him and pulse so tight he meets her
screams with his own, as she feels his thrusts become more sporadic.

"Hermione Fucking Granger. You were made for me."

Her entire body goes limp between him and the rock, as she pushes through the last waves of her
orgasm.

She can take it.

She can.

She can fight against anything this world keeps throwing at her.
 Draco

“The-wind-is-pushing-the-mainsailseastnajdiid…”

Theo’s outburst startles the ugly creature curled up on Draco’s chest, and makes it finally scurry
off of him.

He looks up to the loft where some of Red’s hair is hanging down the side. He can’t see Theo from
this angle so he must have stayed asleep.

Draco lets out an annoyed huff.

This whole situation was ridiculous.

Sleeping, all together, underneath the damn blanket mound again.

Like they were children.

He had no desire to spend his nights with anyone but the woman taking her 7th breath in 37
seconds next to him.

He would much prefer to have the freedom to do the things she would only allow him to do if they
were alone.

But the excitement and smile on her face at Theo’s suggestion that they all go camping again had
made him sullenly go along with the two brunette's desires.

He and Red had stayed in the doorway, and watched the two smartest people they knew giggle like
toddlers as they crawled through the heaps of fabric. Taking large pillows, mugs, and a pot of burnt
chocolate in with them.

“They were being serious? They really want us to sleep… together?”

“Unfortunately.” He responded as Granger pulled back the sheet to glare at him. Silently informing
him that he was not meeting expectations at the moment.

“Draco, get in the tent.”

“I would rather be getting in to you.”

The redhead next to him snorted, and lifted her hand, folding her pinky finger down into her palm.

“Good one ferret, high four.”

He grunted at her, but still raised his hand at the new gesture they all had started since the whole
pinkytation. Theo found it hilarious. Draco found it vaguely disturbing.

Both of them had given in to the pair by the end. Sitting and telling stories, drinking two whole
batches of burnt chocolate, and Draco teaching them all how to make the apparition of the night
sky.

He can admit that it wasn’t a horrible night. He had enjoyed watching his woman smile, and laugh,
like she used to back in school. He didn’t participate in the conversation and merriment much. Just
enough to dissuade the questions and concerns he knew Granger would point his way if he didn’t.

Draco turns his attention back to the beautiful brunette lying curled up into his side. It is early.
Usually Theo was the first one up, but over the past couple of days, Draco found falling asleep
becoming harder and harder.

Because he didn’t want to miss a second.

Not one.

He gently moves a few strands of hair back behind her ear. She experienced a nightmare a couple
of hours ago, and he hadn’t been able to fall back asleep since. He chose to spend the time just
being with her in the quiet. Enjoying the different form of intimacy; to be allowed the closeness,
and opportunity to hold her, and watch her sleep.

112 nights of being with her through the night. 112 more than he ever thought he would be
granted. 112 nights of counting the freckles on her face, noticing the new ones appearing from day
to day with her health improving.

The freckles are almost a catalog of how far she has come. All the little moments, and small
victories dotting themselves onto her skin. Evidence all over her that made him sure she would be
able to continue to grow after all of this. There was a lot of blank skin left for more to appear. He
wants them to have the time, and opportunity to take over that space. For her to have many days
under the sun to be, and live, and age.

She was almost back to having 62 freckles on her right hand now. He thought about creating the
starry sky apparition again, just to place another pointless wish. A wish to see those 4 freckles
appear within the next two days before everything happens. Before the final attack.

For something to be as it was before.

Or for her to have even more than before.

That would be nice.

“The-scallywags-stole-themaptothesjs… Shit…”

Draco turns his head again to see Theo shooting up into a sitting position. He watches his brother
blink a few times, and shake his head as he deals with going from sleeping, to being awake so
abruptly.

He lets out a huge yawn, and shakes his head one more time before looking over at Red lying next
to him.

She doesn't stir at all.

She was less of a morning person than even Draco was. The woman was always a menace, but he
had learned to stay out of her way until after she ate in the morning.

Not because he was scared, but because her bitchiness was worse before breakfast.
Theo raises a hand intertwined with the Weaselette's, and brings them to his lips before gently
maneuvering his out of her grasp. As he carefully climbs over her and out of the loft, Theo finally
spots Draco watching him.

"Morning handsome, been up since the nightmare?"

Draco nods, and tries to unlink his body from Granger without waking her up.

Unfortunately, he has to leave. He is supposed to meet up with Blaise, and discuss things before
the scout meeting this morning. Even though they had all agreed to keep the rest of the snakes as
far away from the Disorder’s grasp, they still had a role to play. That they wanted to play.

Theo lets out a little chuckle as Draco tries to slowly remove her limbs from around his body
without waking her up.

"Reminds me of the Night of the Naked Granger. Except she is wearing more clothing now and…"

"Nott, it is too early for this."

He slowly pulls his leg from in between hers, and slides out from under the blanket.

She stirs, and lets out a sleepy whisper of a noise as she pushes her face into the pillow, and curls
up into herself.

Only one more morning. Only one more rising like this.

As long as she has more, it’s enough.

Draco gently pushes some of her bushy hair back out of her face as he leans down, and kisses her
on the forehead, before pulling the blankets up high around her neck.

He turns, and very awkwardly crawls out from underneath the monstrosity behind Theo.

Both men walk into the kitchen. The two of them used to have a morning routine before they
rescued Granger. Theo would make the food, while Draco would handle the paperwork. Theo
would venture out to the main house to grab the Daily Prophet, and read it on his way up before
handing it to Draco, who would have breakfast plated for them by the time Theo came back. They
both found they liked the routine when Draco moved in for good after the night of Granger being
tortured in his home.

He had flooed into Theo’s room, convulsing and his nervous system out of control from the affects
of the many crucios the Dark Lord had used on him as penance for the Golden Trio escaping his
family manor, and he never went back. Theo healed what he could, and listened to his sobs over
what had happened to Granger, and his fears about her possible death. After two weeks of staying
with Theo, his brother offered for him to move in. He accepted immediately. Instead of stepping
back into that manor himself, he ordered the house elves to handle grabbing the few belongings he
actually had any desire to keep from his old room. His mother tried to convince him to come back
during their daily lunches he tried to have with her when he could, but he always declined. Even
before Granger was tortured on his drawing room floor, living there was a different kind of torture
for himself.
The large house was an enemy.

Just as much as the Dark Lord.

Everywhere he looked it all became real again.

All of the few truly happy moments of his childhood were overshadowed now by the more
powerful, and gripping memories.

Like the main entryway where he would always wait in the chair closest to the floo for his father to
arrive home from work, clinging to the three minute conversation he would grant him during the
walk to his office. Now all Draco could see was the snake hissing in his direction as it basked in the
sun rays from the front windows.

Or the large pond where he and his friends would go swimming, and where he had his first kiss.
Now it only reminded him of the entire body of water having a red rim from the blood of the
peacocks and geese.

Even the dungeons that used to be more of a joke to him growing up, and only served as a great
place to hide to ensure his mother wouldn’t catch him smoking cigarettes; they became real with
the screams and deaths of people he knew.

And last but not least, the drawing room, where he can remember reading the latest article about
Granger’s false love life. He was more interested in the moving picture of the brunette. Watching
her turn in surprise as the flash went off, and the start of an eye roll beginning to happen due to her
obvious annoyance at the situation.

That was the room where he almost confided in his mother about his growing feelings. He had
looked up from his chair to see her deep in a book, and opened his mouth to say the words, but it
just hung open.

He had been a coward of course, and instead, shut his mouth, and stood up, taking the page of the
newspaper with him.

Now that room served as a reminder of Granger’s screams, and blood, and being forced to fucking
watch…

He could never go back after that day. He could never be in that manor that was so full of
nightmares, and horrible moments. To be in the presence of walls, and spaces that made them
always alive.

No, he preferred walls, and spaces that took everything away.

He grabs the kettle out of the cupboard as Theo starts pulling out ingredients to make breakfast.

“You sure you don’t want me coming with you?”

Draco shakes his head as he fills the kettle with water, and places it on the oven, turning the lever
on the front to make the flame appear. Theo rolls his eyes, grabs the lever, and turns it again for
some reason. Mumbling something about burning his house to the ground.

“No, keep working on the healing potions and supplies. The Disorder’s are shit.”

Theo agrees, and waves his wand to make a number of eggs start to crack into a bowl.
They both continue in silence for a while. As the kettle starts to make the whistle noise, Draco
pulls out Granger’s large Gryffindor red mug, and starts to prepare her tea.

“It’s weird isn’t it?”

He looks up. “What is?”

Theo shrugs as he pulls out a pan, and places it next to the kettle on the oven. “Everything about to
happen, and here we are, making breakfast. Kind of reminds me of before the Battle of Hogwarts.
Everyone just… waiting you know?”

“My time before the battle was different than yours.”

“Yeah mate, I know. Ever tell…”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Because I’m a coward.

“Because it is easier not to.”

The words come out sharper than he means them to. He was having trouble controlling the cold
sound of his voice lately.

Draco turns to grab the honey, only to be stopped by a large diagnostic charm floating in front of
him.

“Theo I…”

His friend huffs in annoyance, and waves his hands in the air. “There is nothing. I have run every
single complex diagnostic charm I can think of Draco, and I can’t find anything. No dark magic
shit, no issues with the ritual. Which means this is your making. You better find something else to
do rather than occluding this deep, or Hermione is going to notice if she hasn’t already.”

He doesn’t acknowledge his friend as he pours the steaming water into the mug.

He was here. He was here enough.

It has to be enough.

“I’m serious Draco. You are trapping more than all the dark shit behind those walls. You are
trapping you. And she…”

“Have you taken down all the barriers you have Nott? Deal with the left room yet?”

Theo stops stirring the eggs, and places the bowl on the counter with a loud thud. Draco didn’t talk
like this to him normally. He never used the things Theo had been through against him.

You are such an arsehole…

“That’s not what I am saying you prick. Keep the walls up around the things that were done to you
for forever for all I care. But you have to leave something out. You have to leave you out.”

“It’s different for me Theo.”

“No it’s not. You just need…”

“Yes it is!” He slams the kettle into the sink, and turns back to his brother. “You have walls up
around what was done to you. I have walls up around what I have done.”

The frustration on Theo’s face breaks and he straightens. His eyes move from his, as he doesn’t
know what to say. Because he didn’t understand. how could he? Theo unfortunately endured a lot
of horrible things done to him, but Draco tried to do everything in his power to make sure Theo
never had to add to all the horrible with his own actions. There was only one instance where he
hadn’t stopped him.

“Remember how shut off you were after what you had to do to Granger? Remember that Nott?”
The brunette flinches, and closes his eyes, but nods all the same. “Try having to do that over, and
over, and over, again for years. Try doing so many horrible fucking things for so long, that they are
who you are. That when you do put them behind walls, there is hardly anything left. Because that
is all you have been able to be.”

Draco closes his eyes as he feels some of the walls shake. He can’t have them come down right
now. He wasn’t strong enough for everything the dam was holding back. Too many things. Too
many choices. Too many events. Too many memories. Too much of him he didn’t like, and never
wanted to be.

“I’m sorry Draco. I… I can’t imagine living with all that.”

He lets out a breath, and leans against the counter as he opens his eyes to stare at the space before
him. Focusing on building the perfect amount of walls and openings to hopefully appease Theo and
Granger.

“But you are more than those actions, you know that right?”

“What are we other than what we have been made to be Theo?”

His brother knows more than anyone what he means. How confused and mixed up he felt in the
head. How it felt to forget, and lose what you used to be, or could have been.

The only thing you have at that point is your actions. And looking at his actions, Draco didn’t like
who he saw. He hadn’t liked it for a long time.

But it has brought her this far. I will lose myself to make sure she lives.
Theo comes to lean next to him on the counter.

“Draco, you are still here to be more. As long as you are still breathing, you have the chance.
Hermione told me a while back that… that we are not what we have had to do. That we are more
than that. And I think she is right” They both stand there in silence for a few moments. Theo was
giving him time to and space to say more if he wanted. Something Theo was always good at. “I
mean not that we are guaranteed much more time. What’s the countdown at now?”

Draco can’t help but smirk. Something else Theo was good at. Breaking hard moments with
humor. Oh, how his brother knew him.

“39 hours and 33 minutes.”

“No seconds? Shit mate, you are slacking.” His friend laughs at his own joke. “Well, how about
you focus on being as present as possible for the next 39 hours? Hang on to all the good from the
past couple of months you know? And maybe add to it with her if you can.”

His brother pats him on the back, and turns around to pour the eggs into the pan. Draco watches
him. He is different. A good different. With all the walls up, Draco can’t really take in everything
that he is sure has changed about his best friend. But even if he doesn’t notice all the subtleties, he
knows what is causing them.

“So Red huh? Adding on good with her?”

“Yeah.” Theo says without hesitation, a small half smile forming on his face.

Draco turns back to Granger’s tea. “Finally get why we always talked about sex now don’t you?”

“No, it’s not that. Well I mean, the… physical part is great, don't get me wrong. But…” Theo stops
speaking, yet his mouth keeps moving up and down as he tries to find the words. Draco is pretty
sure he knows what he is trying to say.

“She makes life more.” / “She makes everything more.”

They both smile at each other, and nod their heads.

Draco stirs to combine the honey and milk into her tea, and places a statis charm over the hot
beverage. After the nightmare last night, he suspects Granger will not be up before he is gone. He
pulls out his wand and accios some material from Theo’s office.

He dips the quill in the ink pot, and starts writing out the number 59 up in the left hand corner.

“Oh, and I’ve been meaning to ask. Did you fuckers lie to me about what it is called when you…”
Draco looks up to see Nott’s gaze going down between his legs and then back up to his face in as
suggestive of a manner he is capable of. “… you know. Do that to a girl?”

“You are going to have to be more specific Theo. There are a lot of incredible things you can do to
that area of a girl.”

Draco lets out a quick laugh at his own joke, and instead of looking annoyed, Theo smirks at the
sound.

“Is it actually called eating her out? Or did you bastards lie to make me look like a git?”

Draco can’t help as he starts to laugh harder. It takes him a minute to compose himself before
finally being able to answer.

“Not a lie Nott. It can be called that. Why did you think we lied?”

It was an understandable thought for Theo to have. Draco had lied to him about an assortment of
what scandalous words and phrases actually meant.

Theo exhales loudly, and flings his hand with the spatula up towards the ceiling. “Because when I
said it to Ginevra she fucking laughed at me!”

He can't take much more of this. If he started laughing any harder, he would wake up Granger.

“Maybe she was laughing at you because of what you were doing, rather than what you were
saying Nott.”

Theo shoots him an unamused expression, as he points the spatula towards him like a weapon.
“No, she wasn’t.”

“Listen, it’s okay if she was. Understandable even for your first time. It can be tricky…”

“She wasn’t laughing because of what I was doing Dra…”

“It is very complex and takes practice. Plus every girl is…”

“That isn’t why she laughed!”

“Different. Being bad the first go around is normal Nott. No need to be embarrassed.”

Theo looks like he is about to try to stab him with his cooking device, before they both hear a scoff
from behind them.

“Teddy has absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to that area, ferret. Trust
me, I was not laughing because of that.”

Both of the snakes turn to see Red leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, and smiling wryly at
them.

“Told you.” Theo spits at him before stabbing him lightly in the chest, and turning his attention
back to the eggs cooking. “Good morning gingersnap.”

Red moves into the room carrying something behind her. “Want to make the morning better
Teddy?”

“What do you mean by…”

His voice breaks as he turns around to see the redhead raising her arm, and placing what Draco
believes to be some sort of pirate hat onto her head.

“Want to go pretend, Captain Hughes?”

Oh fuck… so this is what being a third wheel feels like.

No wonder Theo was always groaning on about it.

Theo just stares at the woman for a moment before he blinks and shakes his head, looking from her
then back to the oven. “I… But… the eggs… But you… But breakfast… And Draco is right… but
you…”

“Nothing the ferret hasn’t heard or done before. Put a stasis charm on breakfast. We will eat that
second.”

The spatula Theo is holding falls to the floor. Red laughs as she moves directly in front of him, and
pulls out her wand. Creating the charm for him since he seems so shocked he is incapable of doing
it himself.

“O… kay Ginevra.”

“Uh uh. You know that is not how you address me.”

Yes, I am very open and comfortable with sex, but they need to get a room before this goes any
farther.

Red starts to pull Theo out thankfully, but not fast enough for Draco not to hear Theo respond with
a tone of voice he never wanted to hear leaving his brother’s mouth again.

“Aye aye captain.”

Kinky fuckers.

Draco smirks, and turns his attention back to finishing what he is writing. He sticks the parchment
to Granger’s mug with a sticking charm, and walks back into their room.

Trying to hide his annoyed huffs as he has to crawl through the damn tent to get to the closet, he
sets the mug and note down a safe, yet close distance to her sleeping form.

This would be his last meeting. Today was the last time he would have to sit in the presence of
Carrow Cunt, and Fucking Flint, and listen to the drivel of nonsense, and people who loved to hear
their own voice. This was the last meeting he would have to play the role he had been playing for
years.

He shrugs on his Death Eater robes, and senses the items in his Granger pocket. He pushes his
hand against them, feeling the two circular shapes pressing into his chest.

She is enough. Just hold on to her.

Crawling back through the tent, he stops and pulls her blankets up again, and kisses her lightly.
'Stay alive Draco.'

He uses the floo in the main house, as to not wake her up with the loud pop. When he exits the
smoke, he sees Blaise leaning against the wall.

"Running a bit late Frosty. Getting hard to leave her?"

"It is always hard."

Zabini waves a silencing charm around them, and walks ahead as they start climbing the stairs.

"I get it. Pans has even been a bit softer. Like how she was before the Battle of Hogwarts. Feels
eerily similar, doesn't it? A bit better being on a real side though huh?"

"I am on Granger’s side. Not the fucking Disorder’s."

”So similar like I said?” Blaise laughs, and opens the door to his assigned room. Draco walks in to
find it empty.

"She is with Daph. Grabbing something to eat." Blaise jumps into his beanbag while Draco almost
leans against the desk in the room, before he remembers what he had witnessed last time he
stopped by their rooms. He decides to sit in a chair instead.

"So I am guessing The Order’s final meeting went as well as the first one? Ole' Shacklebitch's
knickers still in a twist over the Golden Girl getting a one up on him?" Draco nods his head as
Blaise pulls out a pack of cigarettes, and tosses it to him. The snake lights his own, and lets out a
huff. "What I would give to have seen the look on his face. Or on our parents when they find out
Sacred 28 inheritances were used to fund the fucking Order. Never thought Granger would be the
woman to empty my vaults. Not with Pan’s spending habits."

He laughs as he takes another drag. Draco lights his own, and leans back further in his chair.

"It isn't over with him. I can feel it. The way he talks to me, and to her…"

A couple walls start to shake as he feels his anger trying to escape.

The Disorder leader was very much still upset over his brilliant witch out playing him.

That was clear. He was a man who had become used to the guaranteed control and power. To lead
without being questioned. Maybe that is why he and Dumbledore chose children. Children could
be led blindly, in faith, and assurance, and easily controlled. Kingsley was no better than the old
Headmaster who only offered him a false opening for redemption at the last second. One he knew
he couldn’t take.

Kingsley had been doing the same with the younger members. Technically not allowing them to
join until they were done with schooling, but using them none the less. If any side should be
against using children as soldiers, it should be the side of light. Yet The Order seemed to have
more younger members than older.

The problem was the war and position they had all been placed in had turned them into adults
much quicker than normal. Kingsley was not dealing with the same doe-eyed believers in clear
right and wrong. The veil had been pushed back time, and time again as they paid the price for
their elders' mistakes.

“Is that why the Gryffindor Princess won’t include us with The Order’s raid? Still think he has
something bigger planned?”

Draco lets out a drag as he agrees with what Blaise said.

“He doesn’t trust us. Whether that is due to legitimate reasons in his mind, or created reasons to
justify his desires doesn’t matter. The Disorder uses even it’s most loyal members in the worst
ways. Granger learned that with herself, and Theo and I. She will not let that happen with the three
of you if she has the choice.”

It was hard enough putting his witch and his best friend into the hands of the group. Being central
pieces in the raid happening tomorrow night. Draco wanted her nowhere near such danger ever
again. He was sick of these situations always relying on her presence and ability. He was tired of
having to stand by and watch her be used by everyone, and having to go along with it himself.

“But everything is set then? The plans have been finalized?”

“Yes.” The plan made him sick too. The reality of an end being so close, made his walls shake, and
his head hurt constantly.

He had thought they were at an ending before. Everyone believed the Battle of Hogwarts would be
the final stand either side made. Draco was sure that after the battle, it would be over. Everything
would finally be fucking over, no matter who won.

But he had been wrong before. That hadn’t been the end. It instead was the beginning of a new
nightmare.

“And you still want us where you assigned to get Granger and Weasley out if all hell breaks loose?
Do they have any idea?”

Draco shakes his head, as he puts out the cigarette in the ashtray on the desk. “No, and we are
keeping it that way. Theo and I are both in agreement. If things start to turn, you act as soon as
either of us say periwinkle.”

The Gryffindor’s would never agree to leave them. They both knew that. They also knew that they
would be furious with them if they caught on that they were prepared to stay behind to ensure they
got out as safely as possible.

As long as Granger made it, as long as she could escape, it all would be worth it. He had to make
sure that happened. He had to. Even if she was forced to live in hiding, and in secret for the rest of
her life in a world still run by the Dark Lord. There would be no Order to support her hero complex
after this. No one left to help her with her desires to make the world a better place by giving her
own life to make it happen. There would be no cause for her to rally, and give hope to.

It would take her a while. It would hurt. She would grieve him, and her friends, and her cause, but
she would live. She would fight through it all and live.

He knew that.

She had proven that these last few months.

She could survive this too.

Something must have shown on his face. The slightest sign of where his thoughts had gone with
Blaise’s question, because the snake sits up and looks at him seriously.

“I’ll take care of them mate. I promise. I won’t let you lose the fight you have been going through
for years. This won’t be her end.”

Draco can’t react in any way to his friend's words. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. The numb
quiet in his head won’t allow for it.

“If it happens, give her this.”

He digs into his Granger pocket, and pulls out one circular item. Blaise’s eyebrows meet in the
center of his head as he takes the ring into his hand.

“What is this? Some Malfoy heirloom or…”

“No it is her mothers. Just… Tell her to remember our Dark Art’s project discussion while
patrolling during 6th year. It’ll make sense to her if she remembers.”

She probably wouldn’t. They had talked about a multitude of things during the couple of hours she
walked with him throughout the castle. The conversation dealing with the ring had only lasted
about 6 minutes.

But it stuck with him.

Always had.

At that point, she had already obliviated her parents. He didn’t know that at the time, but now the
morose way she spoke of them, always with a hint of watery eyes, made sense.

Blaise lets out a scoff as he tucks the priceless item into his robes. “You and your secrets Frosty.
We should probably get going. Last fucking meeting, here we come.”

…….

He isn’t there for the meeting. He probably should be. He should probably be paying better
attention to all the details, and the nervous energy that the Carrow Cunt and the other high seated
Death Eaters are eliciting as they speak. Or questioning why Fucking Flint and his unit is missing,
but he isn’t.

He is counting. So many numbers to fill his mind with. To focus on, and turn the emptiness into
something.

Draco had built more walls on the way to the meeting. He always shut off as much as possible in
the presence of other Death Eaters. Protecting everything.

But the meeting is going on, and on, and on.

He has watched the shadow of the curtain surrounding the window travel from splaying across his
chest, to the table top, to the stack of papers and maps laying in the center.

So many seconds being wasted.

Each one precious.

Each number, proof of the taking happening.

15,420 seconds he will never get back.

15,421 seconds with Granger he will never have.

15,422 seconds of the little time left that they keep taking, and taking, and taking.

“After tomorrow evening, all concentration will go to finding The Order. You in the scouting unit
need to be prepared to meet all of the responsibilities that will be placed upon you.”

Draco looks up, and watches as Carrow Cunt stands to make her point clearer.

“Finding and capturing Harry Potter, or anyone close to him, is our number one priority. More so
than the extermination of the filth that has made its way into our society. More so than finding safe
houses. The Dark Lord is in need of this as quickly as possible. You will be at his disposal any time
for anything until we have fulfilled this mission. Until the new recruits have completed their
schooling, our unit will be very busy.”

So that explains the anxious energy in the room. The need for the Dead One had to deal with the
Dark Lord’s declining health. It had to. The Dark Lord must think the answer lies in neither of
them presumably dying as the ridiculous prophecy had said.

The Cunt keeps talking, and he watches as her eyes meet his. The worried look on her face breaks
to smirk in his direction as she gives final orders to certain people present.

Don’t worry… I have plans for you as well.

You and Dolohov.

You both will be ours.

He is forced to stay after to fill out the paperwork for his unit. Describing line after line the
strengths and shortcomings of his group, the record they held, and what he deemed they would
personally be able to do best for the Dark Lord in this change of focus.

If his mother was still alive, she would be mortified with his handwriting, but he doesn’t slow
down.

I want as many moments with her as possible.

Draco finishes the last line, and accios the parchment to the stack at the end of the table, and makes
his way to the floo.

Over 8 hours wasted.

Gone.

He could never get them back.

It is different now, having a countdown. Knowing what was left, and what was gone. It gave him a
sense of urgency. One he had felt only once before, and never wanted to feel again.

He throws the powder into the floo, and steps into their room to find it empty, and the blanket
mound shrunk to the corner again.

“Granger?”

“In the library!”

He shrugs off his robes, and makes his way towards her voice, trying to take down some of the
walls as he goes.

He stops in the doorway.

She turns around, hands folded in front of her, squeezing and moving up and down each other as he
takes in her and the surroundings.

“What, What is all this?”

She is wearing a short, tight silver dress. Much too fancy for anything he was aware that was
happening tonight. The tables behind her have an assortment of food on them that he can smell
from where he stands. The curtains to the balcony are drawn, extinguishing all the light in the
room to the few candles she has lit around the space.

The light from the candles is making the silver in her dress spark as she fidgets back and forth
where she is standing.

Is that what my eyes look like to her?

“Granger, what is going on? Where is Red and Theo?”

“They just left. They went to the safehouse. Ginny’s parents want the whole family to spend the
afternoon and evening together before… before everything.”

Draco nods for a very long time, and doesn’t move. Utterly in shock and unable to take in
everything in front of him, or what he is exactly seeing.

“It… Well I just thought… I thought it would… This is stupid, yes this is ridiculous isn’t it? There
are so many other things we should be doing.” As she is speaking, she turns around and starts
stacking the plates on top of each other, and waving her wand to open the curtains again.

Draco finally snaps out of it and walks up behind her, grabbing her arm to stop her actions.

“Granger stop.” Her hands quit trying to destroy what she created, and she looks up to meet his
eyes. “Nothing about this is stupid. I just don’t understand what exactly any of this is. Not that I am
complaining.”
His eyes travel down her gorgeous body wrapped up just enough to be decent and not at the same
time. His eyes are still on her chest as she lets out a disingenuous huff.

“It is a date. I thought… We’ve never gone on a normal date. And I want, I want to make a
moment of normal with you.”

A date.

He looks around again with new understanding, and can’t help the smile from taking over his face.

He raises his wand and closes the curtains again, before turning back to look at her.

“We deserve a moment of normalcy.” He bends down and kisses her painted lips. “But I am sorely
underdressed. Let me go change.”

She smiles at him, and gains the confidence back with his words, as he walks quickly out of the
room.

He was way too excited for this right? They had eaten many meals together. Nothing was different.
Except things are different. She has created a game where he can play a role he has actually been
wanting to play for so many years now.

He looks over to his side of the closet. All of a sudden finding absolutely nothing worthy to wear.
He searches through his line of items three times before seriously contemplating breaking into
Theo’s closet to find something. He stops himself though. Theo may be brilliant, but he had no
style whatsoever.

Why am I fucking nervous?

After he goes down the line two more times, he decides he has to pick something soon before she
becomes suspicious of how long he was taking.

But it was her own fault. She had sprung this on him. Even for normal not-the-woman-of-his-
dreams dates he took forever to get ready. He usually gave himself at least two hours to put himself
together before going out. But for a date with Granger? If things were actually normal, he could
guarantee he would have cleared the entire day to prepare.

Though, he also would have been the mastermind behind the evening.

Draco decides to grab something he feels compliments what his witch is already wearing.

His cufflinks have a shine of perspiration on them as he hooks them into his sleeves. He can feel
his walls shaking, and has to close his eyes, and try control his rapid breathing that is matching his
pounding heart. He is losing it. He could have the cruciatus curse cast on him from the darkest
wizard in the world, and have him invade his mind, and still feel less nervous than he does right
now.

“Draco, are you okay?”

No. I am a fucking mess Granger.

“Fine. Be out soon.”

He hears her laugh through the closed closet door. “I always knew you would take a long time to
get ready.”

“Shut up Granger. Like you have any room to talk. I am sure that bushy head of yours took hours to
tame.”

“I didn’t do anything to my hair Draco! I think it is just growing on you. Just put a shirt on
already.”

“Don’t rush me woman.”

Her voice and presence is not helping.

He tries to loop his belt three times before he is able to do it successfully. The walls are still
shaking horribly in his mind.

What the fuck Malfoy? Calm down.

“Do you need some help? I could…”

“No. This is a date Granger. A proper date.”

No version of any of the times he had fantasized about taking her out had he already been living
with her. All of this still wasn’t a normal situation even though she was trying so hard to make it be
as close as possible.

“Actually, go wait in Theo’s room, and shut the door.”

“What? Why?”

He casts the counter disillusionment charm on the extra drawer where he hid both of their shoes
since she had recently resorted to throwing his own at him.

“Because we are about to go on a date. And I am going to pick you up for said date, like I would.
Go wait in his room.”

He hears her hesitate, but then hears her footsteps walking out of the room.

Draco quickly ties his shoes and pulls off the sheet from the full length mirror in the closet to
appraise his work.

It isn’t what he wants.

If things were normal, he would have gone to Diagon Alley and bought a brand new suit for the
occasion. Not sparing a sickle on any small detail.

But she was giving him the chance to have this.

A date.

With her.

It will have to do.

He opens the door, and walks down the hall to Theo’s room. His hands are flexing at his sides as
he stares at the closed door.

Just knock you prick. You have been inside her 32 times. There is no reason to be this fucking
nervous.

His hands are knocking on the door before his brain registers what they are doing. But the door
doesn’t open. He stands there waiting for over a minute. What is she doing? He knows she is in
there.

He knocks again.

“Granger what are…”

“Just a minute!” She yells. He has no idea what is going on.

He takes a step back and crosses his arms. Just as he is about to open the damn door, it swings
open. Granger is pulling a coat on, and smiling up at him.

“Hi, sorry about the wait. I was finishing up a chapter, and had to get to the end.”

He scrunches his face at her confusing statement. She continues to pull her coat on as she goes into
detail about some book he is sure she had not been reading.

“Granger, what are you talking about?”

She buttons the last one on her jacket, and smiles up at him.

“You seem to want this to be a realistic experience. Well, me taking a minute to answer my door to
finish my book is a very realistic way our first date would have began.” She loops her arm with his.
“Just like you taking much too long for a man to get ready is very accurate for you as well.”

She elbows him in the side, and he can’t help the laugh that comes as they start walking towards
the library.

This feels good. It feels right.

I wish it was real Granger.

She slows down their walk, pretending to be strolling down some sidewalk, and talking about the
weather.

Even going so far as to ask him why the bloody hell he does not have a coat on.

They enter the library and walk over to the table. The significance of this moment is not lost on
Draco. She hadn’t been able to eat at a table in an actual seat since she had been with them.

It was one of the few items on the list that had yet to be crossed out.

Eating at a table.

Sleeping in a bed.

Strawberries.

And the mirrors are all that are left.

She leads him over to a chair, and before she can, Draco starts unbuttoning her coat, and slipping it
off her shoulders. He moves behind her, and pulls out the chair for her to sit in.

“Only if you want to Granger.” He promises as he sees her hesitate.

Granger keeps looking at the plate, and then the chair. Draco is about to accio the tablecloth and
spread onto the floor, and claim he would rather have a picnic anyways, when he sees her face
change.

“I want to.” She turns with a sharp nod of the head, and sits down in the chair.

He pushes the chair in, and leans down to the side of her face to kiss her temple. “I am so proud of
you.”

Draco sees the chair at the other end of the table all set up for him.

That’s too far away.

He walks over, lifts the chair, and places it next to her own. He sits down as he accios his plate
over.

Instead of asking what he is doing, she nods her head in understanding. He can touch her now if he
wants to. He can touch and look. The perfect place to be.

They both pick up their sporks and start eating the food she had prepared.

“This is very nice Granger. Thank you.”

She grins up at him as she takes her fourth bite at the table. He must have made the same face he
had every other time she had done the simple action, because she rolls her eyes at him again.

“Thank you for the note this morning. I added it to my collection. So you don’t think this is all too
simple? I did as much as I could with the small amount I had to work with.”
“It is perfect.” He reaches underneath the table to run his hand up and down her exposed thigh. Her
skin is warm and giving in just the right amount. She jumps at the touch, somehow surprised by his
actions. He moves his hand up further, dangerously further, feeling the fabric of her gorgeous dress
rise with the press of his fingers. The flesh underneath his fingertips prickles to form goosebumps,
and he sees her try to hide her blush into her shoulder.

Oh love, don’t ever hide what I do to you.

"But if this was truly a normal first date, I assure you, it would have been different. The biggest
difference being I would have planned it.”

She raises her face out of her shoulder to roll her eyes again. "Of course you would have persisted
to plan it."

"I would have. If things were different, if I was given the chance to take you out on a normal first
date, we would be in Paris right now."

He moves his hands up even further.

"I would have taken you to the most exclusive restaurant, and paid to have the whole place to
ourselves."

His hand keeps moving up, and she does not stop him.

"I would have spoken French, and watched those cheeks of yours redden with your want for me.”

He reaches an area where he knows he should feel some form of barrier, but he finds none, and he
has to bite back the noise trying to escape his mouth.

Fuck Granger. Better and better every damn time.

“Can we not talk about what if’s tonight?”

His hand freezes, and he meets her eyes to see her looking slightly annoyed.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t want to focus on the past, or what could have been’s. I want to talk about what
can.”

He feels her hand grab his, and gently pull it from between her legs. She rests them on the table,
and slowly circles the top of his hand with her thumb. She watches as she does the action over, and
over, and over, again.

“What do you want to do after this is all over?”

Fuck.

Walls start forming even as she is speaking. He doesn’t have to consciously make the decision. It
begins to happen instinctually with the question that was making him very uncomfortable. He
doesn’t have an answer for her. Not one he knew she wanted to hear at least.

“I’m not sure. What do you want to do?”

He hopes she lets this go. To not dig like she had the tendency to do when there was knowledge she
wanted to claim for herself.

Granger looks at him for a long time, before releasing a sigh. “I want to make sure nothing like this
ever happens again. I want to guarantee that no one is left out in the improvements we create in the
after effects. No one can be forgotten. I am going to make sure of that. Whether that is in the
Ministry, or Hogwarts, or in some other area I am not aware of yet.”

And you will do it all Granger. Your name will never be forgotten or tainted.

He squeezes her hand as he smiles at her. “I believe you will do all of those things, and even
more.”

She grins back at him, and takes a drink of her wine.

“I also want to try to make candles the muggle way. Something silly that has always peaked my
interest. And I want to have a big garden. My parents were both very good gardeners, and they
taught me everything they knew. And I want us to travel. Most of my traveling experiences have
been due to survival instead of enjoyment.” She takes another sip of her wine, and stares down into
the cup. “I also want to sleep in a bed. And stay in it all day. I want to read for enjoyment again. I
want to be lazy, and go for long walks with no destination, and wake up with nothing to do.”

The thumb circling the skin on the top of his hand stops, and she looks up to meet his eyes. “Does
that sound good to you? Do you want to be a part of it?”

The only thing I want more than that Granger, is to ensure you get it. And if that means I don’t, so
be it.

But that is not what you want to hear.

“Yes.” His walls are shaking, a couple break. He pulls his hand out of hers, and closes his eyes.
Needing her warmth and power not to break anymore. Taking a moment to try to rebuild what had
to be caged in.

Why was she doing this? Saying these things to him now, with only hours before everything was
about to happen? He was not at a place mentally to play this game with her.

“Can you stop please?”

“Stop what?” He opens his eyes to see her arms crossed over her chest as she glares at him.

“You know what. You have been walled in so deep for days Draco. And I know you need to keep
most of them up right now. I understand that. But please take down the ones needed to be here with
me. To be able to talk about the future with me.”

He scoffs before he can stop himself. But what was he supposed to respond with? How did she get
any enjoyment out of this?

“Granger, you are much better at this game than I am.”

“Game? What are you talking about?”

“The game of pretending that all this right now is real.”

That was the wrong thing to say apparently. The woman sitting next to him straightens her
shoulders, and turns to challenge him. And not in the way he usually likes. No, she isn’t playing,
she is mad.

“And what about this isn’t real Malfoy? Please enlighten me.”

Fuck he is in trouble. None of the right words to get him out of this situation form in his mind.
Nothing at all is forming in that blank empty space.

Maybe if he is silent long enough, she will let this go as well.

His hopes of that happening are Avada’d as soon she pulls out her wand.

“Fine, you don’t want any of this to be real…” She stands, pushing her chair backwards so hard it
tips over and falls to the ground. Her wand waves in front of her, and Draco watches the table
spread disappear. “You want to be so far gone that I can’t even have a conversation with you…”

The curtains are thrown open, showing the sun setting over the hills around Nott Manor. “Fine
Malfoy. None of this is real.”

She starts to storm out of the library. Draco gets up and starts walking after her. This was not how
he wanted to spend his last night with her. He did not want to waste a second more than was
already taken from him with her being angry.

“Granger, wait. I’m sorry.”

He reaches out, and grabs her arm to turn her around. She pulls it out of his grasp.

“I’ll take them down. I’ll take down enough I promise. Please, let's continue our date. Let’s
continue the game.”

“What fucking game Malfoy!?” She turns, and stops him dead in his tracks.

“The game where tomorrow isn’t happening.”

He watches as she processes his words. Eyes moving back and forth quickly for a few moments
before understanding washes over her face. It is only there for a few seconds before her face twists
back into an angry expression that would have promised a shoe if her heels weren’t such a nuisance
to take off. Her words, not his.

“You think I… You believe…” Her hands shove into his chest before he can stop them, he hits
against the wall of the hall as she stalks in front of him. “I didn't do all this because I think we're
out of time. I didn't do this because I think this is our first and last date. I did this to show you how
all in I am. How all in I am no matter what. This is real. No matter what they do. No matter what
ridiculous things you say. No matter how deep you occlude. No matter what happens to either of
us. That's why I did this.”

She pushes him again. And then backs up, starting down the hallway again.

All in. So tonight wasn’t some game to her? She didn’t set all this up to create one last moment of
fake normalcy? She set it up to start something, not to end it.

She wants… Fuck.

He walks into their room, and finds her trying to take off her shoes in the closet doorway.

“Granger I…”

“I’m not done!” She tries to unclasp the strap again, but fails and stomps on the floor. “I am so
frustrated right now that all you can do is talk about the what ifs and act like this is a goodbye, like
you have already given up. We have no idea what will happen tomorrow, but I have made the
choice to hope, and you have made the choice not to apparently. So I refuse to take part in this
fucked up goodbye you are trying to turn this into.”

He has to de-escalate this. Without thinking, he walks over and bends one knee in front of her. He
reaches forward, and wraps his hand around her ankle, and raises her foot to rest on the top of his
bent leg.

She is silent, but allows him the contact.

“I’m sorry.”

He moves his free hand not holding her ankle in place, to the clasp of the heel. Taking his time to
ensure he doesn’t pinch the skin around it as the two pieces come apart.

“This is all very, very, real for me as well.”

His hand grabs the back of the black shoe, and slowly frees her from the material. He lowers her
now naked foot back onto the ground. And repeats his movements with her other heel.

“But Granger, you have to understand by now, that I hold your future in a much higher regard than
my own.”

The olive skin at eye level with him needs to be touched. The hand holding her ankle slowly starts
to move up her calf, much like it did earlier before he had fucked everything up.

“Do you want a future with me Draco?”

I wish I could have it all with you.

I selfishly want every second of your life tied to mine.

“Yes.” His eyes move to meet hers that are watching him intensely. The gold is on fire. Moving
and shimmering in so many places, that they seem to glow in the dusk lighting of the room. “But I
don’t think there is enough of me left for a future Granger.”

Her leg in his hand disappears, and she is kneeling in front of him before he can move. Warm, soft
hands are touching the sides of his face, pulling it closer to hers.

“There is. There is Draco Malfoy you hear me? You are enough. Whatever you are is enough for
me. We will make new things together where pieces have been taken. We will slowly heal from
what we have done, and what has been done to us. We will do all those things when we are given
the time to do them. If you would believe in it too.”

She is saying all the things he wants to hear. Painting a picture with her words of a future he had
lost hope in a long long time ago. But it was more complicated than that. Her living because of all
of the horrible things ha has had to do is one thing. Him somehow living after all he has done is
another. But his witch was hope. Maybe she could be enough hope for the two of them. Maybe her
persistence would make it happen. Defy all the odds stacked against them.

If anyone can do it, it is you.

He moves his hand into her wild curls and threads them through his fingers, feeling some walls
start to shake with the simple touch.

I love you.

Fuck the consequences.

Fuck the time.

He opens his mouth to finally say the correct four letter word into existence for the first time, but
Granger pushes out of his grasp and stands, backing into the closet.

Her head is shaking back and forth, and he can see her eyes starting to water.

“No! Stop! Do not admit it Draco! Don't you dare fucking admit it! Not because you think this a
goodbye. Not because you think we are running out of time. Don't you fucking dare put that on
me!”

He stands up, and walks into the closet. The tears are escaping her eyes now, coming in large drops
that have a weight that makes them fall straight to the floor instead of trailing down her face.

“I only want to hear those words from you because you believe. You believe that they are worth
being said. So only make this real right now if you have hope that they are a beginning and not an
end for us. That you have hope that they mean more, and can grow to be more. A future with those
words. If you can't say them and believe in that, then I don't want to hear them.”
He is saying them. He was done with being a coward when it came to her. She said he was enough,
and she meant it. Whatever exactly it is that he has become, she still wants him.

After everything.

All the mistakes.

The prejudices.

The lies.

The secrets.

The horrible choices.

The killings.

The violations.

After they have both been stripped of so much. Left to a point where they believed there was
nothing left.

She was saying there was enough to love.

He comes to stand before her.

“Hermione Granger…”

“Draco…”

She takes a step back, but he takes another forward.

“Hermione Granger…”

She lets out a loud sob. “No Draco, I'm serious I…”

He grabs her hips, and pulls her into his front.

“Shut up woman, and let me speak.”

She stops immediately, and looks up at him.

“No matter what tomorrow holds, no matter if we only have 28 hours and 42 minutes or 100 years
left together; I love you for every moment of them. However long the future is for us, I will love
you for every single second of it."

He grabs the back of her neck, and brings her mouth to his, kissing her slowly. Wanting second
after second to belong to this moment.

To be given instead of being taken.

“I love you too Draco.”

His knees almost give out as she says the words into his mouth. She physically has to hold him up
for a moment as he tries to collect himself and gain some semblance of control over the breaking
going on inside his mind.
But he can’t.

Wall, after wall, after wall.

“And I want to love you for as long as I can. Starting now.”

She presses her mouth harder into his, and he feels her warmth everywhere. Not just on his skin,
but in him. He can feel her promise burning into him. That this was real. That this was happening.

Hermione Granger loves Draco Malfoy.

And Draco Malfoy loves Hermione Granger.

He feels his shirt opening, and falling to the floor. He doesn't trust himself to open his eyes yet.

But even with them closed, and with his mouth pressing, and moving against every exposed area of
her skin, he finds the hem of that silver dress, and pulls it up over her head.

She loves me.

She loves me.

Hermione Granger loves me.

The sound of his belt buckle clamoring to the floor has his eyes finally opening to look at the love
of his life.

She is focusing on unbuttoning his trousers, and efficiently slides them down his body before
looking up to meet his eyes.

Where silver is meeting gold.

"I love you."

The words break him in the best way, and he thinks she must notice the change.

"I love you."

He is speechless. Never in all the time he fantasized about her did he ever dream of this. Never
once. Because it seemed too ridiculous. Too impossible to ever be something feasible.

He uses everything he physically can to try to prove those words as real through action.

Moving his mouth to her neck, and tracing the four letter word all over her skin with his tongue.

I want to write it all over you Granger.

Her hands are pulling at his hair, and saying the word every time he finishes the letter e on her
skin.
"Love." Written across her cheek.

"Love." Licked down the side of her neck.

"Love." Pressed into the edge of her collarbone.

"Lo…" her voice breaks. But not in the way that makes him think it is out of euphoria like he is
trying to do.

He looks up to see her staring behind him. He turns around and immediately understands the
expression on her face.

The sheet is off the mirror.

Damn it. Fucking ruining another moment Draco…

"I'm so sorry Granger. I'll put the sheet back up. Give me a…" He starts to pull away from her
body, but her hands grab his sides, and press him back into her. Almost like she is shielding her
naked body from the mirror's purpose.

"No. You'll… I'll see."

"See what?"

Her eyes start to water as she stares into his chest. He doesn't know what to do, because he isn't
sure what she is talking about.

She had never explained this fear to him. Nowhere in her explanations of her nightmares or
memories from her time with the monsters did any instance of a mirror come up.

"See him. See him on me. On… on my body."

He tries to pull away to look in her eyes, but she tightens her grip around him.

"Granger, I love you. Just like you said to me. No matter what that monster did to you, no matter
what he took and tried to make, you are enough for me."

Please let my words be enough. Please let them mean as much to you as they do to me.

The hands on his arms loosen, and she allows him to put a few inches between them.

"Don't… don't look at me differently please. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore.
Including this."

Granger pulls away from him further and for the first time, lets him see her.

Lets him see it all.

Oh Hermione…..

His eyes automatically go to what she had been hiding. To the area that made her ask him to shut
off the lights, and to leave the jersey on, and to raise her wand and cast a disillusionment charm.

He left the bruised mark on her breast. On the one right above her heart. He knows what the
sociopath was trying to do with it's placement.

He tried to claim what is mine.

Little horrible noises are leaving her mouth as Granger tries to control her breathing. "I didn't want
him to do it. To make it permanent, that... that his mouth was ever on me. It doesn't mean anything
Draco. I promise I…"

She has to stop saying these horrible words right fucking now.

"Hermione, stop."

Her mouth shuts, and he moves behind her, placing his hands onto her shoulders. Draco can see in
the mirror's reflection that she is staring down at the floor in front of her.

She doesn't see what he sees when she looks in the mirror. All she sees is what Dolohov did. What
she lost. What was taken.

I have to show you what I see.

He kisses the space behind her ear, and holds his mouth close to her skin.

"You, my love, are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Let me show you."

He reaches around her, and presses against her chin, letting her make the decision on whether or
not she was ready for this yet. He feels her muscles release and follow his gentle press, until he
sees her looking at their reflections. With one hand, he pulls her hair over one shoulder, as he runs
his other hand up and down the length of her torso.

"You have fought battle after battle against what he left behind, and have won every time."

Her eyes follow him as he lowers his mouth back to her skin, choosing to press against every scar
in his reach.

"You have taken ownership over everything he tried, and failed to claim."
A little noise that he has come to love escapes her mouth, as her body arches into his words and
touches.

Her eyes start to close as his hands move to squeeze her hips.

"Eyes open Granger."

She listens, and looks back into the mirror, watching him worship her body. Treating it the way it
should always be treated.

He presses his erection into her back as he slips his fingers between her core.

A gasp comes, and her hand holds onto his side as she presses harder into him. Their eyes never
leave each other.

Gold never leaves silver.

He inserts one of his fingers, and kisses her softly as he pushes further and further into her.

"Draco…"

"Yes Hermione. It is me. It is me and you right now. It is me and you for however long our forever
is."

He inserts another finger, and curls them against that point inside her that makes her hiss, and her
fingers and toes curl in pleasure.

His other hand not buried inside her leaves her hip, and starts slowly moving towards the mark.

She watches him. Not stopping or giving him consent either.

Come on Granger.

Take it back.

Let's take this back too.

"Do it." She whispers right before grabbing his wrist, and pressing his hand onto her breast. The
action sends him forward. He covers the grotesque memory, and presses into the flesh of her
sensitive breast in the same way that led to him labeling the response as lesson number 4 back
when he was teaching her what she liked.

"Yes. Love me Draco. Love me, please."

He pulls his fingers out of her. None of this was enough.

I need to be a part of you.

He leans her forward slightly, kissing down her spine, as he bends his knees and aligns himself
with her.

"You never have to beg for my love." They both watch as he slowly pushes into her. As they
become one instead of two. Wrapping himself with her warmth and perfection. He pulls her into
him until she is flush against his chest. "It is yours."

He thrusts into her, and watches as her mouth drops open, and her head presses into his chest.

Her hand wraps around his that is pressing into the marked breast. With each coming together, she
presses their hands into the skin.

"He didn't win." Her words are said through her glorious noises that assure him she is enjoying
this. That she is making this another item on the list ready to be crossed off.

Only a few forks to go Granger.

She turns her head towards his, and presses their mouths together. She pushes her tongue between
his lips, and mimics his dick pushing into her. Everywhere and every available place, becoming
one.

Where he begins, and where she ends is lost to him.

He takes his hand off her breast, holding her hand to the area, with silent instructions for her to
continue without him.

His hand starts circling her clit, making more and more of his favorite sounds come from the
woman he loves, and who loves him in return.

This is right. This is all so very right.

Her walls start to spasm slightly around his dick.

He wants her to see this.

"Look in the mirror Hermione. I want you to see what I see. I want you to watch yourself come. To
watch me come." She is looking like he instructed. Eyes fixed on the area where they are
becoming one. "To watch, and know, and believe that I love you. All of you. Every single piece of
you."

She is squeezing his dick so hard by the end of the last sentence that the words barely leave his
mouth as he almost blacks out from the feeling. Her eyes are still open, and entirely on him as she
orgasms.

"Fuck, I love you. I love you so much Draco."

He doesn't make it much longer before he feels his own release, and buries his face into her curls
as he pumps into her.
He starts to fall backwards, and Granger takes hold around his neck to go with him down to the
ground. Draco falls into a sitting position, still inside his witch as he covers her with him.

She turns and rests her forehead against his as they take in shallow breaths.

"Thank you." He whispers.

He is thankful for so much in this moment. For the opportunity to experience being loved by her.
For the last few months of the closest thing to freedom he has ever felt. For believing and wanting
more. For graciously giving him 1… no, was it 20….

Wait…

Oh fuck.

I don't remember.

She made him lose count again.

 Theo
Chapter Notes

Merry Christmas

** Mark canon elements from the Deathly Hallows. I do not own the rights.

“Shit.”

Theo ducks just in time to escape the misplaced hex from some shapeless shadow. He falls to the
ground behind the rubble of what used to be part of the outdoor courtyard.

One minute.

Two minutes.

He braves himself to raise his head above the pile of debris and sees no one close. Shadows,
flashes of magic, and voices can all be seen a distance away.

Where the battle is taking place.

He is nowhere near it though.

Theo rises off of the ground, and sits with his back against the large pile of stone.

You’re fine Theo boy, you’re fine.

It has to be over soon.

The fighting has been going on for far too long. Much longer than he thought a battle would ever
go. Not that he had any experience in war, but his books made them seem quicker, more complex.
To him it seems like a bunch of people running around trying to hurt each other, or get away from
being hurt.

As he tries to gain control over his breathing to keep his vision from going, and his body from
shaking uncontrollably, he notices that is all he hears.

All the noise, and screams, and curses have stopped out of nowhere.

Just stopped.

There is no in between.

This doesn’t seem right.

But what the bloody hell does he know? He has never been in a battle before. And even after the
Dark Lord told everyone to stop, to give them one hour. Out here, in the courtyard people did not
listen. Small attacks have been happening continuously. Keeping him from advancing. From
getting to her.

This was a first, if he even could classify hiding in corners, and trying to stay out of anyone’s line
of fire being a part of a battle.

He had done a very good job of staying out of this whole damn war up until this point. He had his
own war he recently won the upper hand on. Theo just found some semblance of complacency and
peace. No way in hell was he opening himself to more stress, and evil if he could help it.

The world is still quiet around him.

Heavily quiet.

And for some reason, it feels worse.

It feels wrong.

Battle’s aren’t quiet.

Ends are quiet.

The Order has to win. They have to. There is no way this…

“Harry Potter is dead.”**

Oh shit…

Theo pushes himself against the large stones as hard as he can as he listens to the chill-inducing
voice of Voldemort pronouncing their victory.

With each word his chest caves in more, and more, and more.

He can’t do this right now. He can’t. If… If this was over, and the Dark Lord really won, then he
needs to find Draco.

He needs to get to Narcissa.

It’s actually over… and… and good didn’t win.

How do we get out of this one Draco?

“Harry, HARRY!”**

Theo squeezes his eyes shut as he hears The Chosen One’s girlfriend scream louder than any of the
other voices starting to rise.

His skin goosebumps at her voice, and he catches himself grinding his teeth together as he brings
his hands up over his ears to drown out the horrible sound.

None of this should be happening right now. None of it. They were kids for Merlin’s sake. None of
them should be on a bloody battlefield.

War was not a place for children.

A part of him hates himself as he hears voices growing louder and louder again. He isn’t taking
any of them in. He can’t. All he hears is his breaths becoming weaker and weaker, his body
shaking more and more, and his mind telling him how worthless and pathetic he is.

Everyone else was fighting. Others his age are all taking part in this historical event. But not him.
Of course not. He was hiding like he did best.

Whether it be under a bed or behind debris didn’t matter.

Draco would be coming for him soon. He had to be. If Voldemort won then that means he is going
with the other option. The one he knew he would have to force her into possibly.

“Run! Run! ‘Mione, we will hold them off!”

“Ron come on, please, come…”

“Go! Just go! Get them past the wards. We have to get Harry outta here. That's most important and
you know it, go!”

Theo opens his eyes, and peaks over the remaining remnants of the courtyard. Lights from hexes
and curses are starting again.

The noise is starting again.

The screams, and loud bangs, and thick air that is hard to breathe in are all fucking starting again.

A stray cast of some powerful magic hits against the remaining large stone archway in front of him
that leads out to the trail down past the Black Lake.

“Shit!”

Theo covers his face with his arms, and feels the slicing of the shards of rock pelting into his
forearms. Something large hits him on the side of the head, and he can feel the warm trail of blood
start to flow instantly.

He wipes at it, trying to stop it from pooling in his ear that was already struggling to hear and make
sense of what was happening around him.

But it is no help. He can’t see anything. Everything is dark, and clouded with the dust from the
misplaced curse.

Theo looks down, and tears a large corner of his shirt off, and brings it up to his mouth and nose.
Trying to stop all the particles from making it even more impossible for him to get the much
needed oxygen in his system.

There is still so much.

Too much.

All around him.

Going on in him.

He can’t move.

He can’t breathe.

He can’t think.

“Ginny, Hagrid, are you okay?!”

Hermione Granger. That has to be her.

“Yeh Ermione.”

“And Neville and Harry, are they…”

“They are still breathing. They… they are both still breathing but they don’t look good. Hermione,
where are you? Which way do we need to go?”

Theo sees a muffled light in the right of his peripheral vision across the courtyard moving closer.

They can’t see him. No one can see him.

I really wish I was invisible…

Someone is coughing loudly and trying to talk through it.

“I think… It’s… yes. It’s this way. Follow me we need…” Granger's voice is cut off by the sound
of another curse smashing stone again. “Run! Run!”

The dust is starting to clear in front of Theo. Just enough to see that the trail he knows the two
Gryffindor girls and the Giant are needing to escape what sounds like Death Eaters right on their
tails, is now blocked.

The archway had caved down on itself.

Taking away their only exit.

Trapping them in.

Fuck…

He turns around and watches three distinct shadows getting closer. Yeah they were for sure
needing this open. He can now see the outline of two others getting closer to them. Pursuing them.
Death Eaters.

Theo sits up, and pulls out his wand.

You’re fine Theo. Breathe in… Breathe out... Steady hands. Healing hands. They need to get out.
At least do one fucking helpful thing.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” The rocks covering the path float up and out of the way. He holds them up
in the air, high enough that no one would notice them in the dust.

“Through there! Through there Hagrid!”

The giant's shadow comes moving quickly in front of Theo. Running through the now open area.

He can hear the painful noises of someone who looks to be carried by the groundskeeper.

“Thank fuck, the rocks fell in our favor for once Hermione! Still don’t believe in divination?”

“Just run Ginny!”

Theo watches the two smaller shadows move in front of him. Three bursts of magic fall around
them, but miss the targets as they successfully run through the opening, and out of sight.

The voices of the attackers are coming closer, and Theo lowers the rocks back into place. It
wouldn’t give them much time, but maybe enough.

“Where did they go?”

He pushes with his feet back into the nooks between the large rocks and debris, thankful that the
thick layer of grime makes his body blend in.

“They went through here, I know it.”

“Went through where Flint? There is no opening!”

“That used to open down to the Black Lake. They had to go this way. They must be trying to
disapparate with Potter.”

“Then move the fucking rocks Flint!”

The rocks start moving again, but this time, they are all swung to the side.

Not up in the air, and far away from people.

No.

Of course not.
Fucking Flint somehow always found a way to hurt him, even when he isn’t aware he is near by.

Theo doesn’t have time to cover, or protect himself before he sees a large rocklike shadow coming
right at him.

“Shit!”

He sits up, and braces his hands next to him. Instead of the cold dirty ground, he feels them sink
into a soft texture. He opens his eyes, and sees nothing for a moment as he tries to get control of his
breathing.

His chest. His chest was where the rock was… He looks down to see what the damage is to his
front, but flinches at the sight of his naked upper body.

Oh bloody hell, okay. Just a dream. Just a memory of the battle Theo boy.

He runs his hand through his thick hair, and pulls it off of his forehead. A stirring next to him
makes him freeze before he looks down, and feels the pressure in his chest lighten.

Gingersnap.

Thank Merlin the wicked witch could sleep through anything. The Dreamless Sleep she took
before finally crashing a few hours ago probably was helping as well.

Theo scoots back, and leans against the headboard of the bed.

He reaches over to the nightstand, and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, and lights one. The calming
taste of the nicotine melts away the last remnants of the shaking from the dream.

The weight is still there though. It has been there for days, pressing with more force, and with a
precision that is close to debilitating.

He inhales deeply, and holds the captured created content in the back of his throat for as long as he
can. But it starts growing smaller, evaporating, changing into something else. That is not what he
wants. He doesn’t want it to change. He longs for it to stay the same. For the smoke to never
disappear, or be consumed by the more powerful and bigger air above.

But it doesn’t stand a chance.

Everything changed. Nothing ever really stayed the same. No matter how much he tried to make it
so.

He had been wrong yesterday when he told Draco this all felt similar to before the Battle of
Hogwarts.

It feels worse.

Before the last battle, the anxiety was still very much a part of him. But not about the idea of death
or loss. No, honestly the idea of actually being dead sounded peaceful to him. Easy. Quiet even.
Nice.

It was the likely process of getting to that end point that had him incapable of breathing, and his
vision spotting.

War, a battle, a brutal death was not how he wanted to go.

That did not sound pleasant at all.

Not quick.

He had experienced enough drawn out pain for a lifetime to welcome it back into his life. Theo
remembers being very upset that The Order refused to use the Killing Curse, taking away the one
very quick way to go. Maybe he could convince a Death Eater to do it to him? Maybe confront
him, and make him use it?

He had laughed at himself even back then. Like he could ever initiate the conflict to make that
scenario happen.

Last time, he had held just enough fear for basic self preservation. This time though…

He looks back down at the girl laying next to him.

It was easier before when I was alone.

It’s harder now, having something priceless to lose.

He can’t imagine what she has been feeling.

She was already living with loss. Her worst fear had become a reality for her during a day similar
to how today was more than likely going to be.

And it was weighing on her. It was weighing on all of them, and how they treated each other.

“Can I have a drag?”

Theo looks down, to see Ginevra stretching her arms out to the sides as she looks up at him.

Her face is already hard. Theo doesn’t know what to do with that.

She rolls her beautifully bare body over, and moves to lean up next to him. His eyes linger all over
her. Taking it all in slowly and methodically. Theo classified himself as an observant man. Maybe
not always with conversations, or emotions. But observing his surroundings, taking in the smallest
of details and rooting them in his mind for forever, he could do. He had to become good at the skill
to stay away from fake antiquities from shawdy sellers who thought they could take advantage of a
kid.

He was so good at it, that he had noticed the many times Blaise tried to ‘fix’ his one of a kind items
he had broken before Theo could see. Even if they were so small as a slight nick or scratch. He
noticed the difference and made the bastard pay.
He liked to memorize details, and treat each of them with respect to the craftsmanship.

But Ginevra's body is different.

Each time he looks, he sees something he has never seen before. It has yet to become something he
knew. Even though his hands, and mouth, and tongue have been everywhere.

Maybe she is different. Well, of that he knows for sure. She is different from anyone and anything
he has experienced before.

He hands her his cigarette, and she takes a long drag before pulling it out, and holding the stick
between her fingers in the most right way possible.

Completely naked, everything on display with no shame, her long red hair tangled on the right side
from the tossing and turning through the night, and holding a stick the perfect way.

The wicked witch is just asking to get snogged.

He reaches out, and cups the back of her neck to pull her face to his. She likes it when he does what
he wants, when he wants, without asking. The thought of being so forthright had made him
uncomfortable at the beginning. He was the opposite, needing to know what was coming from her
before she did it usually.

But Ginevra reassured him that neither were wrong. That they both could exist, and be at the same
time without being in competition with one another.

He sees a slight smile begin to form before he presses his lips to hers. He missed them throughout
the night. The recommended amount of sleep had to be wrong. He hated going that long without
the taste of her on his mouth. His fingers tighten around the base of her neck, and keep her exactly
where he wants her to be. Her soft hums start vibrating where they are coming together, and he
opens his mouth wanting to feel the reverberation on his tongue.

She does the same, but instead of the now familiar, and delicious taste of her tongue entering his
mouth, he tastes a puff of smoke that she must have been holding in the back of her throat as he
began kissing her.

The nicotine mixed with her makes him moan as he pulls away.

She is confused for a moment, before he blows a thin strand of their shared smoke up to the side of
her face. He doesn't have enough to work with to create anything more.

They both watch what she had made, and what he is releasing, snake its way higher and higher as it
becomes faint, and then nothing.

"Fuck, that was hot. Here, let's do it again."

Theo laughs as he watches her take another long inhale.

Smoking was not a healthy habit. Very far from it to be honest. All of his healing books, and
general anatomy, and even Professor McGonagall had all informed him he was taking years off his
life with the nasty habit.
He had started smoking at 12 when he found an empty box some associates of his father had left in
the main house library.

Theo knew what they were, and was trying to calm down enough to be able to run to safety when
he found them and lit one. By the first drag, he knew it was going to be his new obsession. The
focus on the stick, and the flame, and the burning smoke took away some of his reality. Everything
in his head, always bouncing around and making him exhausted even before doing anything,
became a bit quieter. Easier to think with a cigarette in his mouth or hand.

Ginevra pulls the stick out of her mouth, and leans over again, automatically opening her mouth
wide, and consuming his lips as she shares the nicotine-laced smoke with him. He can feel the
vapors swirling and escaping into areas of his body that make his eyes water, and his throat burn,
but then her tongue is in his mouth, taking away the sting with each pass and press on the sensitive
skin. She gives him everything again before pulling back. She arches her eyebrows in a challenge,
and he smirks before releasing what she gave him out in the space between them once more.

They both watch, eyes raising up, and up, and up until the smoke is overtaken and mixed with too
much of something different. Making it void. Making it no longer.

Just like that.

It is gone.

Nothing left.

Just empty space where something used to be.

"Make me something."

He looks down to see her holding the cigarette out for him. He slips it into his mouth and inhales,
before releasing it slowly. His tongue and lips work to hold and control the smoke in his mouth,
before working to form it how he wants.

A larger ring floats out between them, and he maneuvers his tongue and lips to make another a bit
smaller. And then another, a bit smaller. And then another, until the rings are floating through one
another before fading away again.

"I want to try."

She grabs the cigarette out of his mouth, takes an inhale, and tries very unsuccessfully to do it
without any help at all.

He laughs as she starts coughing, and small bursts of the smoke come out of her nose instead of her
mouth.

Yeah, that is definitely not the right way.

"It isn't easy to do gingersnap. Keep it up, and we are going to call you the dragon instead of
Draco."

She laughs a bit through her coughing before wiping at her watering eyes.
"I am more of a dragon than that bleached ferret."

"You are scarier. I'll give you that."

Theo pats her back a few times to try to dissuade the burning he knows is probably happening.

"You like being scared. Just a little." She gives him a very suggestive look, and he moves to kiss
her again. At the last moment before their lips meet, he sees her face change to the one that has
been appearing more and more the last couple of days. A look that shows hesitation, with her eyes
becoming glossy, taking her away.

He pulls back of course. Even if he didn’t really understand what was happening or why, he would
try and keep up with whatever she needed.

Her eyes aren’t looking at him anymore. They are gone. She turns back to face forward, and places
the stick in her mouth again.

Theo follows. Not really knowing what to do.

Whatever you need Ginevra, I’ll try to be it. I’ll try and keep up.

He grabs another cigarette for himself. They sit, leaning against the headboard, staring at the
closed door before them. The door that he wished had the power to shut out the world beyond it.
Forever.

Let's just stay here. Let's just pretend today isn't today. That the world doesn't need you. That we
are invisible, and alone.

That is all I want.

“Are you scared?”

“Terrified.”

He doesn’t hesitate because he isn’t ashamed to admit it. His nerves are a mess, and if it wasn’t for
the multiple potions, cigarettes, and the woman next to him who seemed to need someone to be
present for her, he would probably be curled up under his bed right now.

“Of dying?”

“No.”

A long pause.

“Are you scared Ginevra?”

“Yes.”
“Of dying?”

“No.”

Another long pause.

“Can you promise me something Theo?”

“Anything.”

She exhales the last of her cigarette, and places it in the ashtray on the nightstand. Her eyes stay
fixed on somewhere he can't join her before looking up to meet his.

“Remember that you matter today. That you have people who need you, all of you. I… I can’t go
through…” Her steady expression wavers with her words, and she closes her eyes again. Theo
watches her chest start to rise in sharp jolts with uneven breaths. He waits, trying not to rush
whatever it is that is happening in her. “You… you can’t be a mistake. This can’t turn into another
action of mine that… that destroys.”

The last word comes out broken and at a higher pitch. Like she is holding in. Trying to keep big
and strong things inside her body which was telling her to let them go.

“This will never be a mistake, Ginevra. I promise.”

He tries to meet her eyes, but she still won’t look at him.

“It will. It… it will be if I lose you too. Because Theo, I don’t think I can. I don’t have it in me to
go through that all over again.”

This time, he sees her body shake with the pressure and fight to hold it all in. She doesn’t need to.
He thinks he could keep his own emotions in check to give her the space she was showing she
desperately needed.

“You lived through losing the man you love, Ginevra. You can live through losing me.”

Something immediately changes in her face. The muscles all go slack as she sits back, and opens
her eyes to his. Fuck, he must have said something wrong again. He had been doing that a lot
lately. Saying or doing something that would make her withdraw from him, that would make her
look at him like she is now. Far away, cold, yet angry. He had meant it as a compliment, as
reassurance, but the scary look she is giving him now, proves it had done anything but.

Shit, what was wrong about what I said?

All of a sudden, she sits up, and climbs out of the bed. She grabs one of his shirts, and throws it
half on as she opens the door, and slams it shut behind her.

Theo smacks the back of his head off of the headboard. They had been doing this with each other
for days now, going from one extreme to the next. From wanting nothing but to cling and hold on
to each other, to pulling away and going silent.

He is trying to let her be whatever she needs to be. To try to understand what he is sure is a vast
range of complexities that would take forever to work through. Because this shouldn’t be
happening. There was no way to make sense of everything about to happen. No way to make it less
heavy, and terrifying, and bleak.

No way to forget the possibilities of what could be taken from each of them. They all have been
victim to loss too many times to have the naive perspective that they were imperceptible to it.

Ginevra more than anyone.

Theo pushes the covers off as he climbs out of bed, and leaves his room. He knows she is breaking
down somewhere. Always running away before allowing herself to be vulnerable. Not wanting her
emotions to affect others. Causing pain with her actions as she liked to say.

Sometimes he would let her go. Somehow he thinks he can feel the difference between the
moments when she needed time alone alone to work through whatever was taking over her, and
when she was running to not hurt him, but hurting them both more in the process.

You can show me Ginevra. You can trust me with whatever you are thinking and feeling.

He hears the shower running in the hallway bathroom. Hermione and Draco’s door is still closed.
Understandably, taking their time to make this day real themselves. He walks to the loo door, and
leans against it, listening to the soothing sound of the water, hearing the rhythm interrupt against
her skin.

But then, very faintly, he hears a sob.

Shit… I hate myself.

Please don’t cry, Ginevra.

He has no idea why he does it. Why he thinks this is a good idea in the slightest, as he feels the
door handle give, and he slips into the lavatory.

The faint noise that he knows for sure was her crying, stops.

“Go Theo.”

“Is that really what you want me to do?”

He hears her laugh behind the curtain of the shower.

“No. I don’t get to do anything I want to fucking do. None of us do. This damn war took that
ability away from all of us, and today is going to be the same no matter what happens. It is too late
to call anything a victory at this point, after everything and everyone we have lost.”

Her words start coming faster and lighter as she speaks. Like she is struggling to get them out
while still caging in everything else.

“Gin…”
“Just go Theo.”

“I can’t go after making you cry again. I… can’t. Stop asking me to go.”

“Why? You are already ensuring you are going to leave me. Why not just go now? Save us a few
hours of this doomed time shit. Save me time in pretending otherwise.”

Well fuck… That hurt.

“So you would rather me… what? Leave you alone? Let you cry in the fucking shower by
yourself? Stay away from you from now on?”

“I am not going to talk to someone already gone, Theo. Not again.”

He has no clue what she means by that, and has no idea how to respond. Not that he should. It
sounds like she was mad at him. Like he had pushed her away again by something.

“Go.”

Everything in him is saying that is the last thing either of them want.

“No.”

“Theo, go.”

“I’m not going gingersnap.”

He hears something smash to the ground behind the curtain.

“Yes you are. Everything I care about, I lose. Everything I touch, I destroy. It has to be me. It has
to be fucking me. So why pretend for the next few hours? Why make it harder than it is already
going to be?” Her voice isn’t rising and somehow that makes everything she is saying worse. Like
it is finality. The tone makes him think that the words are decisions being fortified with the steady
evenness. “I should have known better. Better than to do this again while the bloody war is still
happening. Because I never get lucky enough for death to claim me. No, that would be too easy,
too close to actually something I would want. Instead it claims everyone else. Leaving me here,
carrying everything alone.”

It sounds like she has made up her mind; whether to pull away or to cling. Whether to shut herself
off, or to open up and be vulnerable. Both hurt. Any way she went, he understood why, but it still
hurt them both. There are no good choices once again. No easy ways to feel. No clear answers on
how to proceed with no pain. Because it was almost a guarantee to all of them at this point.

“What… What do you want from me Ginevra?”

Tell me. Please tell me. Whatever you need. Please.

“I shouldn’t have made room for you. You and him, you take up too much now. Once has been
horrible enough but… twice… twice is impossible. This was all a terrible mistake.”

Words had stopped hurting Theo a long time ago. They were nothing compared to the pain of fists,
and feet, and wands. He would take his father calling him a waste of life, a disgrace to the family
name, murderer of his mother, a mistake; any of those things over a physical altercation. Anything
over the left room. But that word, coming out of her mouth, affects him.

He feels it. Like Hermione always said. He feels it against his skin, and enter to root into his mind.

He was always a mistake.

A mistake to talk to.

A mistake to be near.

A mistake to rely on.

And apparently, a mistake to care about.

“Okay.” He whispers as he turns around to the door. His vision is starting to waver, and he can’t
breathe. “If you need me to be a mistake, then that’s what I’ll be.”

That’s all I ever am…

His whole fucking life was a mistake. Why would he think being with her would make any
difference? It didn’t. All he did was hurt her. She would be better off without him. Her life was
hard enough without throwing his mistake of an existence into it. She had enough to carry like she
said. Doing anything to make her life a bit easier is what he should be doing. Everyone was better
off without him anyways. This world was better off without him in it. There has to be something
wrong with him, he thinks. Something everyone else can see that he can’t, that makes people turn
away from him. To not want him.

No one ever wants me…

I don’t even want me.

He reaches for the door handle as his body starts trying to remind him of how much it hates him as
well. Attacking itself like it loved to do.

“No! Theo No!” Hands are yanking him backwards away from the door, and he can’t stop himself
from being turned to face a soaking wet Ginevra. He can’t tell if the red splotches all over her face
and chest are from her crying or the shower, but it doesn’t matter. The image of her in such a state
is enough to finally break him. He slumps into her without meaning to. He doesn’t have the
strength to stand. To hold in all the hurt he is feeling.

I am destroying myself, I can’t destroy you too.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Theo. You are not, and will never be, a mistake. Never. I didn’t mean it
like that. Please believe me. I want you Theo. I want you so much that the idea of losing you is…
is killing me.”

The hot water of the shower is making his sleeping pants stick to his legs, and his hair fall over his
eyes. He doesn’t look up as he tries to control his breathing. Tries to count to end the rapid short
breaths that make him want to escape from this broken body he has been trapped in.

Her hands are open in front of him in offering, wanting permission, but he can’t give it. His mouth
isn’t working to form the words. He is frozen watching the water pool in her palms, and fall out of
the creases onto the shower floor.

“I never thought… I never thought I would have this happen again. You snuck up out of nowhere
and became… became my exception. My exception to everything I thought was going to be the rest
of my life. The best surprise I have ever experienced. But the possibility of… of going through it
all again… all over again… Theo I can’t. I don’t want to. Please don’t make me. Please promise
me you won’t make me.”

She falls into him as he falls into her. His arms wrap around her as she curls into his chest, and he
squeezes so hard he knows she can’t possibly be breathing easy. But he can’t stop.

Hold you.

I want to hold onto you forever.

I never want to let go.

She starts to cry into his chest. Loud unhindered noises that show the fight to keep it in, was over.
That she was allowing herself to cling again. He preferred the clinging.

“You have helped so much, but now… what you have become to me is hurting. Hurting so fucking
much all over again, and there is no answer you can give me. No rationalization I can give myself
to stop me from drowning if I lose you. Because I know it can happen. It has happened. This has all
happened before, and I will not be like last time. Some naive girl who thinks that caring for
someone is enough to save them.”

This was all so unfair. So fucking unfair that this was their reality. That when he just started living,
actually living, it would be taken away. All for some fucking war they didn’t want to be a part of.
They were fighting to stay alive, not for a side anymore.

“This isn’t fair.” He pulls away as he says it to wipe the water pouring around them off of her face.
She presses her cheek into his hand.

“No this isn’t fair. None of this is fucking fair. And I don’t know what to do or how… how to
make sense of it all. Because it doesn’t make sense. None of this will ever make sense. I… I just
want a chance to have a second chance with you.”

“That’s all I want as well.”

She turns and kisses his hand on her face, before raising her own and intertwining their fingers.
Staring at her one different one. He knows now that she will never take the potion he had created.
While it bothered him slightly to see the less than object attached to her, it was overall her body,
and she decided what to do with it. Making that decision for her had not ended well the first time.

“I want you to promise me something Theo. I want you to promise you will do absolutely
everything in your power to let us have a second chance together. And I’ll promise the same.”

Well that I can do.

That still allows me to be honest, and still have the plan with Blaise in place.

“Okay.”

She holds out her/his finger in between them.

“Pinky promise?”

He smiles and shoves his soaking wet hair out of his eye before holding out the only one he has
left.

“Pinky promise.”

She smiles as their fingers come together, and wrap around one another. He uses the one digit to
pull the rest of her back into him and he holds her close. This wasn’t an issue with a clear
conclusion they could reach. This was not a conversation with an ending that would be created
with words. Whatever was going to happen would solidify this moment. They both know that.

“I didn’t live before you gingersnap. You make me understand what living feels like.”

He says the words into the top of her hair as he feels her head nod against his neck.

“You make me live again too.”

He notices her fingers starting to prune on the hand he is holding. He knows that is a sign of
overexposure.

“Come on. We have to start getting ready.”

He reaches behind her, and turns off the water before stepping out, and holding out a towel for her.
She carefully steps out, and lets him gently rub her skin dry.

After she throws on his t-shirt again, and he casts a drying charm on his own sleeping pants, she
grabs his hand in hers and slowly opens the door to the day.

It has to start.

They have to keep moving forward.

Even if they don’t want to.

The door to Draco and Hermione’s room opens as well, and Draco notices them at the end of the
hall.

“Ready?”

Never.

But that doesn’t matter, does it?

Theo nods his head, and follows Draco into the room.

They had a lot to do before tonight. Potions and healing ingredients had to be set up and ready for
use. Instructions and basic information needed to be written out so whoever found themselves in the
position of healer would know hopefully enough.

Galleons for communication had to be tested to ensure communication would work.

Floo calls with so many bloody people. Going over Plan A through Plan 13 (The number of things
that could easily go wrong outnumbered the letters in the alphabet) over, and over again to
hopefully be ready for anything.

Getting Ronald, and Neville, and others up into his rooms safely.

So much.

So much placed upon them once again.

Hermione is already on a floo call with someone as they enter the room. She gives him a slight nod
before turning back to the intense conversation.

The hours become a solemn time. None of them talk, or joke, or try hard to be what they pushed to
be during this whole fucking war. People trying to hold on to who they were and wanted to be as
everything around tried to strip them of it all. Right now, with what was coming being so close,
they can’t pretend anymore. Not like they had been able to under the tent, and during gatherings
with loved ones over the past few days. The shadow had been cast, and with each second, it was
consuming more and more of them. Making its presence known.

The spectacle was a controlled space. The Order had a general idea of the number of attendants,
length, and layout of the venue. Knowing all these aspects made creating a plan of attack much
more feasible. Much more likely to be successful.

They would be attending like normal, but with Ron and Ginny following underneath the invisibility
cloak with the sword in tow.

The rest of The Order members will be waiting in his rooms to join the fight in the manor, and
provide the assistance they would need when they set their galleons off.

“Teddy, I think you have covered enough possible treatments.”

He shakes his head, and turns the parchment over to continue to write out the correct way to handle
a human swallowing their tongue due to a seizure or other health factors.

“I need to make sure all of the reasonable and highly probable issues are spelled out clearly. You
will thank me if your life ends up in the hands of Blaise, trust me.”

“At least I have all 10 fingers to work with Nott. Just for that, if you end up back here unconscious,
I’m taking another one.”

Theo looks up from his dozens of healing cards to see Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne.

When they had shown up, he had no clue.

Theo rolls his eyes, as Hermione walks over and hands Blaise one of the galleons she had been
making.

“This is to communicate with us. Use as few words as possible like we discussed. And only use it
for emergency situations. Not that you should have any back here in Theo’s rooms. But just in
case.”

Blaise nods his head and shoots both Draco and Theo a look before tossing it to Pansy, who
somehow catches it without looking up from the healing card she is reading.

“I’ll let Pans do the communicating.”

Theo watches Draco’s head tilt slightly at Blaise. He had already given him a galleon. A galleon
that would communicate with the extra one Theo and Draco both carried. One for The Order, and
one for their own plan if things went badly.

As his hand goes to the pocket with the personal galleon, he feels The Order’s in his other pocket
heat up.

They are here.

Theo looks away, and takes the invisibility cloak off of the back of the chair before walking to the
front door.

He makes his way quickly through the empty house and outside.

When he moves around the large rock, he sees The Order group who would be entering Malfoy
Manor via his floo once the galleons informed them it was time.

Ron, Neville, Definitely-Dean, Padma, and two very intimidating men Theo had just learned last
night were of course related to Ginevra as well.

“Is this everyone?”

Theo throws Ron the cloak, who hands it to Padma and Definitely-Dean as he nods. “The second
round with Kingsley and the others will let us know they are here after they finish with the other
groups getting ready.”

The two former classmates throw on the cloak and Theo leads them up to his rooms. He would be
doing this many times over the next couple hours. Taking Order members through his wards, and
into his rooms to wait for the attack. It seemed like this whole day was created to push him out of
every comfort area he had created for himself over the past couple of years.
He takes group, after group, until he comes back down, and it is just him and Ronald.

He hands him the cloak, and starts walking back up to the house.

And I have to do this all again when the next bigger group comes… Fuck my life.

“If you survive this, I need you to stay away from my sister.”

Theo’s feet stop, and he turns to his left where the voice came from.

“What? Why?”

The words surprise him. Ron had been distant, but hadn’t said anything to him the other night at
the extremely uncomfortable Weasley family get together Ginevra had dragged him to.

“Because she doesn’t need to be involved with you. Not even if it is just shagging for her.”

Theo can’t help but roll his eyes. Hermione was right to continue to keep him at a distance, even
sober it seems he was still believing in the same shit. And now it sounded like Theo had been
looped in with Draco.

He shakes his head, and starts walking away. “Ronald listen, believe whatever you want to believe,
but don’t pull this shit today of all days. Hermione nor Ginevra need it.”

“I’m not going to say anything to them. Trust me, I am aware it won’t do any good. That is why I
am giving it one last shot, and saying something to you. If we win today, a lot is going to change,
including them. They won’t be trapped in your makeshift prison, or have the war to worry about
anymore. And they both deserve the freedom and new choices that come with that. So back off and
let her, got it? You can tell the ferret the same thing, although I know that is a lost cause.”

Theo scoffs and opens the door to his manor, letting it shut quicker than he normally does. He
hears Ron grunt as his head smacks into the closing door.

Whoops.

“You are not an idiot Ronald. So stop acting like it. Listen to Hermione, and maybe she will let you
back into her life.”

Theo is done with this conversation. He hears the man next to him start to say something, but a
frantic looking Draco running down the hall makes them both stop.

“What is…”

“Summoned.”

Theo looks down to see Draco holding his forearm, and the bile in his stomach rises.
Oh fuck…

This isn’t good.

“No way. Why is he calling…”

“I don’t know… fuck… I, I, FUCK!” Draco bends, arms tight over his mark as he grinds out the
words.

Why was he calling him? The spectacle wasn’t for another couple of hours. What could he
possibly want Draco for right before? The others weren’t here yet. They weren’t ready yet. Did
they find out what they had been up to somehow?

“I have to go.. I have… Nott you…”

“I know Draco.”

He gives him a quick nod in understanding. Like Theo needed Draco to clarify to take care of
Hermione. Ginevra wasn’t the only woman he would do anything for.

Draco stares at him for a moment, before looking away and running past him. Theo watches him,
until the doors shut, blocking his view.

That wasn’t it right? That couldn’t be… oh shit. Hermione.

Theo runs down the rest of the hallway, and opens his door to come face to face with the brunette
still staring at the exit Draco recently went through.

“Hermione, are you…”

He reaches out, but she blinks and takes a step back.

“We need to contact Kingsley immediately. We may have been compromised.” Her head is
nodding back and forth vigorously. Convincing herself of something. “Ron, let them know they
need to transport here as soon as possible. That is now the number one priority.”

She turns with a hardened face, and he raises his hand to grab her arm again. No way was she okay.
He wasn’t okay with Draco going off for a reason none of them could fathom.

“Hermione…”

She moves again. What is with these women and pulling away? Must be a Gryffindor trait.

“Don’t Theo. I can’t think about it right now. I can’t. We have… we have to be ready.”

He drops his hand, and watches her walk back into the room where everyone is congregating.

That couldn’t have been it right? That couldn’t be the last time I see my brother.
“What just happened?” Definetly-Dean asks as they walk in.

“You Know Who summoned Draco via the mark. That is all we know. Did Kingsley get back to
you?”

Ron shakes his head. “I’ve heard nothing.”

Hermione starts pacing the area in the middle of everyone back and forth, eyes still on the ground,
arms folded over one another. They all stand in silence watching her moving from one side of the
room to another. Waiting for her to speak.

“Draco has to be coming back. He has to.” She looks up at the grandfather clock in the room. “You
Know Who is desperate for whatever he was trying to do to me, and for the memory of the battle.
He has to be…”

As she is speaking, a loud pop from his floo sounds off someone entering.

All eyes turn to see a very pale Draco Malfoy walking back into the room.

“Oh, thank Merlin.” Hemione runs into his arms, her fake persona of hardness falling away
immediately, but Draco doesn’t reciprocate.

The blonde looks directly at him, and Theo knows immediately what is happening.

Shit…

“He wants you and her now?”

A quick agreement from Draco sends the room into a panic. People all start talking over one
another, moving about the space with quickened paces, and making all of this even worse than it
already is for Theo.

He looks over to see Ginevra grabbing his healing bag, and her cloak.

We were supposed to have more time…

“We have to go now. You need to change. Everyone else, contact the fucking Disorder and tell
them to get their arses over here. We have to move it up.”

Hermione pulls away, and runs into the closet.

“We are contacting them. They are still setting certain units up. They can’t leave before…”

“Fuck the other attacks. They need to get here right now. Or they will cut the tail off rather than
the head.” Draco says as Theo places a disillusionment charm on his bag, and throws it over his
shoulder.
Hermione walks out in one of the barely slips, and Theo notices Ron’s eyes avert before Draco
covers her with his robes. “Everything stays the same. Except you stay here Nott.”

He stops his hastened movements, and glares up at his friend. “Fuck that. I am going with you. I
am…”

“This isn’t a discussion Theo. You have to be here to allow the other group in to your rooms, we
need their help.”

Shit, he is right. They needed the others to come to help with the attack on some of the most skilled
Death Eaters in Voldemort’s army that were invited to these spectacles. They had to be able to get
in to his rooms to use the floo. But he isn’t about to let his witches and his best friend do this alone.
He isn’t about to hide again.

Theo looks over to Ginevra pulling her hair back and tying it low on her head.

Or…

I could..

Oh here we go again…

You know what?

Fuck it.

With his mind made up, Theo walks to his main foyer, raises his wand, and starts breaking, and
breaking, and breaking.

Years of research.

Years of being scared.

Years of hiding.

Years of barely living.

They break, and break, and break. Until there are none left.

Until every barrier is gone.

Until it is only a simple door to open and close.

“Theo what did you just…”

“The wards around the house I have already dealt with. Blaise, Pansy, or Daphne can go get them
now. So I am coming.”

He digs into his bag, and grabs a few healing potions, and throws them at Draco, Hermione,
Ginevra, and Ron.

Most of them are staring at him like he is crazy. Looking at him like they had only once before.
“What? It’s not like I cut off another appendage or anything.”

Ginevra is the only one who doesn’t hide her laugh, and he falls for her more due to the action.

“Okay, the plans stay the same. Let us know when they are here. We will try to hold off for as long
as possible. But tell them they need to come now. This is starting.”

Draco finishes buttoning the front of his robes on Hermione as he is speaking above her to
everyone else.

Theo grabs Ginevra's hand as they walk towards the floo.

“Teddy, your rooms, and your…”

“It’s just stuff.”

He squeezes her hand in his, before lifting, and kissing the top of it lightly.

You have to make it out of this. I get it now. I truly understand now Draco. Why you have done,
everything you have done.

Hermione and Draco are having a similar moment next to them that Ron is trying his best to
ignore, as he holds the sword close to his chest.

“To second chances?”

Theo turns his attention back to his beautiful gingersnap, and smiles. “To second chances.”

She moves first, kissing him lightly, before pulling back, and letting go to get under the cloak with
her brother.

Draco turns to the floo. “Everyone be ready to move when the galleons go off. Back up or no back
up.”

Draco throws the powder into the fireplace, and they disappear.

Theo follows after with Ginevra and Ron following.

This could all still work. Yes, the time difference could be sorted out easily. No big deal. This
wasn’t a big deal. They weren’t walking towards their doom.

As they walk out of the fireplace, and start down the hall, Theo downs one last potion to help his
nerves.

“Did he say why…”

“Dolohov.” Draco says as they walk, and he takes his robes off of Hermione. “This is all fucking
Dolohov’s making. Apparently he doesn’t want to wait.”

“Doesn’t want to wait for what?”

“I’m not sure. They informed me to come now due to him being prepared. That is all I know.
Weasel, are you ready to do this?”

“Fuck off, of course I’m ready. Did you slither into her mind like you do, and plant more falsities?
Because he checks for that first doesn’t he? And isn’t he expecting the full…”

The redhead lets out a groan from the sound of something knocking into his stomach.

“No Draco, he has a point. He is going to check, and you only created a small piece in case this
would happen. He isn’t going to be happy with you. He… He could…”

“I’ll be fine Granger. He isn’t going to kill the one person who can supposedly give him what he
wants.” Draco reaches next to him. and wraps his hand around her upper arm, and starts yanking
her with him. “As soon as the galleon goes off, informing us that they have arrived, we move. If it
doesn’t go off, we wait as long as possible before calling them in, and starting the attack.
Understood?”

Theo and Hermione nod their heads while Ginevra agrees quietly.

The light from the drawing room is pouring out into the hallway through the open doors. The
noises of the people inside he can hear as they walk closer.

This is happening.

This is starting.

This is it.

As soon as they walk in, he notices the difference.

The very, very bad difference from past spectacles.

The amount of people.

Usually there were a handful of the same high seated Death Eaters present, but this time, there are
more people than ever before.

He recognizes one of them immediately, and the bile burns his throat as the old classmate smirks at
him.

Of course Fucking Flint and his unit…

Merlin, we really need the other group now.

“Young Draco welcome.”

Theo timidly raises his eyes to see the dark wizard they are walking towards, and bloody hell does
he look terrible.
He hadn’t been to one of these spectacles since the first one he had to beat the shit out of Hermione
so Draco didn’t have to. The noseless git had looked ill then, but now… He was grotesque to look
at. Almost as bad as what Draco’s curse made a body look like.

His skin is white with raised and deep purple veins showing how they snake under his skin.

His eyes are red to the point they seem wet with a film that he keeps trying to blink away. His
limbs are shaking, shaking bad. It is evident even though the snake was trying to hide it.

The Dark Lord is weak.

Well, at least we have that one advantage.

Draco tosses Hermione down onto the floor as he and Theo kneel before their Dark Lord.

“My Lord.”

“Have you done it? Have you pleased me Draco?”

His voice is a whisper of what it used to be, coming out with a force that shouldn’t be needed to
speak, and a rasp that makes it even clearer how each breath is a battle.

Their galleons still haven’t gone off.

Draco and Theo rise as the blonde shakes his head. “No my Lord, I have made it my top priority
over the past 14 days, but I was not able to pull out the rest of the missing memory, there is a small
piece more, and that is it. But I believe another 14 days will render me successful.”

Theo hears a noise to the left, and he looks to see Dolohov smiling largely down at them as he
scoffs. The monster is next to his own personal monster who is looking everywhere but at him.
Dolohov though, is looking nowhere but at his best friend still on all fours before them. The man is
adjusting his weight from one foot to the other, a container in one hand, and his wand in another.

She is going to be fine Theo boy. She has her magic, whatever they have been trying to do will not
work.

The Dark Lord has not responded to Draco, who continues to meet his gaze. His brother opens his
mouth to start speaking again, but before he can, Theo sees Voldemort’s hand twitch harder than
before, pulling out his wand from his robe sleeve and aiming it at Draco.

“You have failed me one too many times. My generosity with you is over.”

Theo gulps loudly, and digs his hand into his pocket, but Draco’s tapping against his leg, makes
him stop.

NOT YET
His hand hesitates before pulling back out. If they called on the others, without backup, the odds
were not in their favor. The amount of people here, and the skill level in dark magic that they were
capable of…

Shit, I don’t think we are going to win.

“Avada Kedavra!”

WHAT? NO!

Theo tries to grab his brother, but Draco is already moving, pushing against Theo’s chest, and
making him fall backwards away from him.

Away from… from something that should have already happened.

But nothing does.

There is no flash of green coming towards Draco, standing there, ready to take it.

The weak, barely could call burst of magic never leaves the darkest wizard’s wand.

It can’t.

He isn’t strong enough.

The Dark Lord looks down at his wand like it is a stranger that has truly betrayed him. Like he
doesn’t recognize what he had just made undeniably real.

He blinks rapidly a few times before his skin pulls back showing his dull teeth as he lets out a
raging growl.

As the goosebump-creating noise leaves his voice, he stands, and points his wand back at Draco
again.

“Crucio!”

This time it works. The green and twisting magic travels from his wand into Draco’s chest. It hits
him hard, and makes him falter backwards a step, face contorting as the torturing curse attacks his
nervous system.

He holds against it. Standing. Eyes squeezed shut. Fists formed at his side. Holding.

The curse breaks, and he slumps forward slightly before the Dark Lord hits him with another one.
He falters again, but stays standing.

Hermione is still on the floor, head turned to watch with a face working hard not to betray
everything. Theo keeps looking at her, as he hears the evil man cast another curse onto his brother.

And then another.

He keeps watching Hermione, not looking over as he hears Draco fight and lose to a groan of pain
leaving him.

And then another.

Theo watches as Hermione’s eyes start to water. His brother's knees hit the ground with a loud
thump.

And then another.

Theo had endured three crucios in a row once himself. The nerve damage and lingering effects had
stayed for hours afterwards.

And then another.

He hasn’t breathed he realizes. He hasn’t breathed since the first curse had hit Draco. He needs to
breathe. He needs to get air in his system if he was going to be of any help, unlike last time.

And then another.

Draco moans loudly, and Hermione’s hands form fists on the ground.

And then another.

The galleon still hasn’t gone off. It needs to go off. They need to end this.

We have to stop this.

I have to stop this.

I wish I could stop this.

I would do anything to stop this.

He hears fluid splattering on the ground as the last curse breaks, and allows Draco’s body to
respond.

Theo waits to hear another curse leave the monster’s mouth.

“I will deal with you later. Antonin, since you so impatiently guaranteed your success, please
impress me.”

Dolohov is already leaving the platform with Theo’s father even before the evil wizard is done
speaking. He is on Hermione, yanking her head back, and smashing her to the ground, straddling
her with his body.
And Theo thinks he may just throw up. Draco had tried to explain what they had gone through in
past spectacles, but actually seeing it was much worse.

He expects him to make her swallow the potion like before, but instead, he yanks her head to the
side, exposing a large section of her neck.

Dolohov takes his wand as the tip brightens, and pushes it into the dark tattoo.

Hermione starts screaming in pain, and trying to fight against what is happening. Draco is trying to
rise off of the floor, while at the same time moving closer to where his witch is sprawled and
wailing.

I have to stop this. I have to tell the ones who are ready to come, I can’t just stand here and let this
keep happening.

His hands goes into his pocket.

“No! Stop!”

He looks up to see Hermione’s eyes on him. The words are meant for him.

Hermione, I love you. I have to fix this. I have to do something.

There is blood coming out of the tattoo, from what looks to be re-carved runes, over where they
were before.

Dolohov wipes the blood on his trouser leg while seeming to enjoy the struggling witch under him.

“I know my pet. This is it don’t worry. This has to be why this hasn’t worked.”

Dolohov pushes his wand back into the new wound, and starts saying a spell.

Oh shitfuckdamnitno no no no!

I know that spell!

I researched that spell!

That is the spell to bind her magic!

FUCK.

Before they can do anything, the runes around her neck are outlined with a glowing light, and
Hermione’s screams increase. Dolohov is laughing maniacally on top of her, enthusiastic with the
showing of the spell working.
“I knew it! I fucking knew it! The binding magic must have been fading, that is why you couldn’t
enter my Lord.”

The shining outline fades away, and Theo is pretty sure his entire body is shaking at this point.

They took her magic away… She… She doesn’t have her magic again.

Draco is now standing. Theo moves over to help him stay upright, and bring him closer to
Hermione whose eyes are shut as to not see the man on top of her.

Dolohov pulls back his wand and lowers his face down to hers, as he pushes the potion vial into
her mouth. “You are about to be mine again my pet. All mine.”

Hermione angles her face away from his mouth that is getting closer to touching her skin. Her body
is shaking, and small whimpers are leaving her mouth before everything changes again.

Before her back arches as much as possible with the monster on her, and her mouth opens wide to
scream with no noise able to come out, and the Dark Lord turns all of his attention onto her.

The veins in her face start rising, and her skin instead of blushing, goes pale as the evil wizard
enters her mind.

Theo feels Draco’s body tense at the sight. His best friend looks up, and sees the noseless git’s face
start twisting into a smile.

He is smiling.

He is smiling because, shit because it is working.

If it works, whatever it is, Hermione won’t be okay.

Draco looks to Theo, warning him about what he is about to do.

She comes before it all. I know. I know. We can’t lose her.

Theo nods his head slightly, and Draco digs into his pocket.

The burn is instant.

And it is also the first.

The other people who were supposed to fight with them haven’t arrived yet.

They are outnumbered.

They are out skilled.

We are fucked.

Would the others waiting in his rooms even come knowing they would be walking into a battle
stacked against them? Or would they stay and wait again. Wait for another opportunity.

Draco pulls out his wand, and sends the Dark Lord flying backwards into the wall, breaking the
torture he is putting Hermione through. Theo turns around to face the people behind them, to see
Ron breaking through the invisibility cloak and casting petrify, and then incarcerous spells on the
large group in the back.

The Death Eaters surrounding them are all pulling out their wands and starting to advance on their
small group. One of whom had no magic to fight with once again.

Ginevra is still nowhere to be seen. And neither is the sword.

Oh damn it. No gingersnap! That was your brother’s job.

Theo ducks at the last second before a nasty curse hits him. He lowers to the ground, and sends out
Order regulated spells to the people forming a circle around them.

4 against what? 17? Draco is the one who likes the numbers but I know that ratio is shit.

Theo looks up to see the snake moving to try to get to its master who is pushing to recover from
what Draco had done. He knows that is where his witch is heading. But the group of Death Eaters
are closing in, so many wands pointing in their direction.

Right as Theo is sure they are about to die, numerous flashes of magic appear around him and
strike the others surrounding them. He turns and sees the small group of Order members come
running in, taking advantage of the surprise, and subduing one after another. As the Death Eaters
are distracted by this new threat, Theo moves to get to the podium. To get closer to the snake. To
get closer to his invisible witch.

A large burst of magic travels faster than him, and Voldemort barely reflects it before it collides
with the man. Theo turns his head to see Ron advancing alongside him, wand out, pointing in the
Dark Lord’s direction. Behind them both, Draco is hovering over Hermione and casting spell after
spell to keep people away from her, as she tries to sit up, but fails.

The others had lost the advantage of surprise, and now are facing off with the present Death Eaters.

It all looked very similar. It all looked like it had before.

When they had lost.

Ron casts another spell at the dark wizard, and yells in fury. It is deflected again, but makes the
Dark Lord back up, moving away, trying to escape.

The snake isn’t following fast enough.

“Now Ginny!”

Theo is almost on her as part of her appears, wielding the large sword above her head, and bringing
it down onto the snake whose attention is on her master.

The sound of the blade slicing through the skin, and flesh, and bone lasts but a second before the
loud clang of steel hitting marble reverberates through the large room.

Nagini doesn’t have time to hiss or react as it’s head falls down the few stairs of the podium, but
the rest of her body still moves with the blood pumping into its muscles.

Moving so much that the tail whips to the side, smacking against Ginevra, and sending her
backwards onto the ground.

Theo changes direction and runs towards her as he hears the agonizing noise the Dark Lord
releases. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t turn around. Because Ginevra is in front of him unable to
move. Unable to breathe from being hit so hard in the chest.

Because… Because he also sees his father turning and pointing his wand at his witch.

Nonononononononono

Father no, please, not her!

The curse is leaving his fathers wand.

His ears are ringing, and red, and hot, and he can’t hear a word of it as he runs.

Running.

Begging.

Trying.

To beat the magic.

To beat the green coming towards her.

To get there in time.

He leaps in front of her, and hears her scream and feels it attack his chest.

“Theo! THEO!”

He is on the ground now. Everything is sounding muffled. Lots of noises are sounding fainter.

And fainter.
And fainter.

Hands are touching his skin.

His slick, wet, red skin.

And then her face is all he sees.

What he is seeing is growing smaller too. But different than it normally did when his body started
to panic. Not in dots that moved as quickly as his heart beat across his vision, but almost in a
similar way as falling asleep. Drifting slowly into the darkness, and quiet.

Shit… I am dying.

He knows this feeling, has felt this feeling a couple of times before in his life when his father had
almost killed him.

It looks like he finally got the job done.

“Nonono, Theo no stay with me! Stay, stay, keep your eyes open, here open your mouth, please,
please open your mouth!”

Her tears fall onto his face. He does as she asks but his fingers and toes are starting to feel cold.

I know what this means.

She looks up from him, and casts a series of spells he doesn’t really hear.

The battle is still going on.

He tries to turn his head to see.

To see if they are winning.

To see if Ron had killed Voldemort.

To see if Draco and Hermione are still okay.

To see if the others had arrived.

But he can’t. No matter how hard he tells his neck to move his head, it doesn’t.

“Are we winning?”

He needs to know if they are winning. He needs to know if she was going to be okay after.

The blood that comes out with his words is definitely not a good sign. The faint taste of the
pointless potion comes out as well.
“What? Theo wha… Incarcerous! Fuck. Theo talk to me. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to save
you. Please.”

Her eyes are frantic looking everywhere all over him, touching all over him. Unable to do anything
to stop what is happening.

What was being taken from her.

“I’m sorry.”

More blood flows out of the corner of his mouth and into his ear.

“No, No fuck no! Theo no. Not again. Not again please not again! I can’t lose everything again!
Come on Theo fight. Stay with me. Stay so we can have a second chance. You promised!”

He blinks and the world goes black for a worrisome long time, before her beautiful painful face
comes back to him.

I need to get you out of here. I need to make sure you get a second chance.

“In… pocket.” He taps against his left pocket. She registers after a loud sob, and digs into his
pocket, and pulls out the galleon.

“They are already here Theo. The others didn’t come. It hasn’t gone…”

“Periwinkle.”

He tries to breathe in, but there is no space in all the fluid that gurgles in his chest and throat.

“What? Theo I, I don’t understand.”

Theo uses all the strength he has to lift his left arm, and tap the galleon.

“Send… Periwinkle.”

Her soaking wet face from tears and his blood nods slightly, and he watches as she sends the
message, and everything in Theo relaxes immediately.

Blaise is coming. Blaise would get them out. She would be okay.

The cold is moving up farther, and his vision keeps going along with all the noise.

He is surprised how clear his mind is as he is going. It isn’t jumping, and full of anxiety and fear.
No. Instead it is quiet, peaceful, focusing on his world and reason in front of him. She is sobbing,
and her mouth is moving with words he no longer can hear.

“Ginevra…”

The noise barely feels like her name leaving his mouth, but she looks up at him, meeting his eyes,
looking desperately for an answer that he didn’t have for her.

“Can I… Hold your hand?”

She spurts out a sob, and squeezes her eyes shut before shaking her head back and forth.

He wants to tell her it is okay. That it isn’t painful, dying. That it is similar to how being alone
feels. He always liked that feeling.

Her beautiful hazels eyes open, and stare into his without blinking and he watches as her left hand
wraps around his left hand.

He barely registers the contact, but it is enough.

It is everything.

He smiles at her, as the black takes away her chin, then her mouth, then her nose, then her eyes.

Thank you. Thank you for giving me a life worth fighting for.

Thank you for showing me what living feels like.

Tha….
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

This chapter is dark.

Please look at the end notes for trigger warnings if you need to.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Ringing.

Ringing.

Ringing.

All she can hear is a searing pain induced ringing that makes her try to get her hands into her head
to make it stop.

She needs it to stop.

That is her only thought, even though she knows it shouldn’t be.

Things are happening.

Important things.

Events that need her full attention.

Make it stop! Make it stop!

But her head is in the way. Her skin, and hair, and bones are all obstacles keeping her hands from
ripping out the destructive noise.

Nothing else in the world matters other than making it stop.

Nothing.

“Granger! Granger stop! You are hurting yourself, you are… Incarcerous!”

“Make it stop! Please!”

She feels her nails sinking into the soft fleshy obstacle, trying to peel it away with all the strength
she has. It doesn’t hurt. No, she feels nothing above the all consuming pain screech that hasn’t
stopped since Voldemort entered her mind. As he tried to burrow and root. She had felt it. Felt him
taking over, claiming her mind in the process. Shattering so much, too much in his attempt. Not
caring for anything he destroyed along the way.

“Fuck, open up. I need to… Petrificus Totalus! Granger, I’m going to hold your mouth open to get
this pain suppressant in you. It is me, okay? It is Draco.”

Hermione distantly feels things happening to her body that is in the way of her getting to the pain.
All of a sudden, a cold liquid intrusion breaks up the shattering noise. Making it fade to the edges.
Still there, but veiled, yet less.

It is enough to breathe.

To remember she has a body.

To remember she is more than the pain.

She has a feeling she should be aware of more than just the pain, but as she tries to form the
thoughts, to think, to remember specifics, the ringing begins again.

Her mind won’t let her think. It won’t let her focus. It won’t let her make sense of everything
jumbling, and colliding with the ringing.

Draco Malfoy, Harry, dead, Theo, chocolate, Ginny, Ron, love, silver, deal, wish, magic, broken,
master, pet.

She opens her eyes to see black robes surrounding her. Death Eater robes. They must be Master’s
robes. She raises her blood covered hands to get the man hovering over her away. To get away
from the enemy. To get away from what he was doing to her. It was him doing this to her right? In
her past experiences, this level of painful confusion was always attributed to him.

“Incarcerous! Granger, Hermione, stop! What are you doing? Stay under me.”

That voice doesn’t sound like his. It sounds familiar, but not in the way the sound of Master’s
voice always made her feel. Always made her body stiff in fearful anticipation. Her body seems to
slightly relax at the sound, and she doesn’t know why. The body above hers is shaking. She can
feel that. Convulsing and trembling constantly. The voice also sounds strained, like it is fighting to
speak the words.

Hermione turns her head out of the black, and takes in her surroundings. She squints at the light,
and flashes of magic traveling all throughout the large room.

The noises of the many people, and at what must be a battle taking place do not match up. Some
things are breaking through the encompassing noise, while others are not.

None of it is making sense to her.

What is happening?

Is any of this real?

She blinks a few times. Thinking it will make the hallucination or dream go away like it sometimes
did, but the scenes continue to play out in front of her.
She recognizes many of the people. Even though her mind will not let her form the letters used to
address them. She feels the familiarity in her body as she looks upon their faces.

Some create a warm feeling, very, very small in the pit of her stomach. Far enough away from the
pain in her head to be safe. While others make her feel cold. The ones in the black robes make her
feel cold.

Just like the one above her right now.

She shakes her head, hoping to clear it a little. To shake the consuming ring off to the side so she
can form a thought.

“What the bloody hell is the weasel… Oh fuck!”

As the man above her is speaking, he pushes her down flat onto the cold and also very familiar
marble floor.

I have laid on this floor… I remember pain always being a part of this floor.

The large body that was hovering is now pressing her into the ground, completely covering her as
he casts spell after spell towards the people around them.

A loud screaming noise echoes through the room, causing the person above her to freeze as much
as it can through the shaking still continuing through their limbs.

Hermione looks up to see someone she knows. She knows the name. The horrifying face. The red
eyes.

Voldemort.

The noise is coming from him as he falls onto his knees in front of another man she knows.

His red hair is family.

The anger all over his face is known by her.

The sound of his voice as he screams the killing curse is one she has heard thousands of times.

But she can’t form the name. She can’t make it make sense as the curse hits the evil wizard in the
chest, and he slumps back onto the ground.

Unmoving.

Her mouth opens to try, but it makes a guttural noise as the ringing becomes worse as she tries to
do more than just exist.

“Theo, THEO!!”

That is a name she recognizes too. Her body responds with that warm belly feeling again, even if
she isn’t able to form why in her mind.

She looks up, and sees a brown haired man being held by a red haired girl who is trying to piece
him back together.

Even in her mind’s state, she can tell that is a pointless endeavor.

Theo… cigarettes, burnt chocolate, tent, back dimples.

I love him…

I lo… no pet no.

You love HIM.

Remember, you love HIM.

Her attention goes back to the him on top of her. Why was he on top of her? Why was he here? In
her hallucination? Or was this a spectacle that was going very, very wrong. There were many
spectacles where he was on top of her, or on her in some way.

She feels a burning against her leg coming from his trousers that are still pressing all of her into the
floor. It is a small burn, there and gone again before she can react.

“No… Theo, fuckfuckfuckFUCK!”

The weight disappears, and she feels shaking hands trying to pull her up.

“Hermione, come on, you have to help me. Petrificus Totalus! We have to get you over by Red.
Incarcerous!”

The trembling hands squeeze her painfully as they try, and finally succeed, to make her stand on
legs that don't feel like they are in her control. This was not normal. How she is feeling is not like
anything he had done to her before.

“Master, what is happening to me?” She presses her face into his chest, and is surprised by the
minty smell.

He doesn’t smell like mint… I only know one person who smells like…

“Mas… Hermione, look at me.” The hands are now cupping her face, and finally she sees that he
isn’t who she thought he was. "It's me. It's Draco. Remember? I love you. You love me. What is
going on? What is wrong?”

It is Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy has her in his arms, and is saying he loves her, and she is more
confused than ever. Even though the warmth in her body increases more than it had yet.

The ringing starts to increase back to horrendous levels as flashes of words, and moments break
through.

Frenemy, deals, lessons, golden, priceless, saved me, tents, mugs, tea, notes, and notes, and notes,
and love.

She shakes her head, and lets out a whimper as she stops trying to piece it all together to make
sense. It doesn’t work. Her mind doesn’t work anymore. She can’t tell what is real, and what is
being put together all wrong, and what is just her mind trying to survive in the only way it can.

Making her play games with herself.

“It hurts. My mind… it hurts.”

He swears again, and picks her up into his arms that convulse so hard, he almost drops her.

“Malfoy, what is happening? Is this real?”

“Draco. You call me Draco now, Hermione. And this is all real. The Dark Lord is dead, this war is
about to be over thanks to you. Remember? Remember how we got here? How Theo…” His voice
falters as he chokes on something it sounds like. “Theo found you. You have been with us. We
have been working with The Order. We are ending this right now. Please tell me you remember.
Please.”

He is moving now. The noises are still continuing around them, but she can feel herself bouncing
in his arms.

“Malfoy… Malfoy help me! Theo, he needs something, the curse, it hit him. And now… Theo
please wake up! Please open your eyes again! They closed, and and he isn’t moving anymore.”

She knows that female voice too.

Malfoy places Hermione as gently as he can onto the ground, before rising and sending an array of
spells around them. Hermione turns her head and comes face to face with the other person lying
next to her.

My best friend…

He saved me, no.

Did he?

Did that happen?

His eyes are closed. But his face is turned towards her, and she sees the half smile still formed, and
the brown wave of curls over his one eye.

I cut that hair…

Right?
“Theo?” Her question is drowned out by the sobs of the female above him, who is pulling items out
of a large kit with one hand, while also grasping his hand with her other. It seems like she refuses
to let go.

“Listen Red, Blaise is coming to get you two. Go with him. Get out of here. Hermione isn’t…
something is wrong. She needs your help. So when he comes, go. Do not fight. Do not argue. The
Dark Lord is dead. This is over, whether we win this small battle or not.”

“I am not leaving him! We have to get him to a healer. There, there may still be a chance Malfoy. I
can’t leave him behind I...”

“You want to repeat history?! He is gone Red! Don’t make yourself and Granger pay again
because you cannot let go of someone already gone!”

Hermione turns, and looks away from the man laying next to her that makes her feel things she
doesn’t want to feel.

People are still fighting. She watches their forms move throughout the room. There are a lot more
black figures. Some have fallen, but many still stand and fight, while others are counter cursing the
ones on the ground, helping them to rise.

The numbers are becoming more and more uneven.

“Hand me her mind potion that Th… he made.”

“Teach me how to run a diagnostic…”

“Ginny! She called me master! Give me the damn potions!”

The sound of glass clinking against one another makes her wince. She watches someone she knows
falter slightly as a curse hits him. His skin starts to peel off. It looks painful, but somehow, the
familiar male doesn’t seem to notice, or even be bothered by what is happening to him. Instead he
continues forward to the Death Eater’s horror, and lands a spell that drops him on the ground.

I know why…

Malfoy made that possible… Right?

“Red, cover us. Hermione, I am opening your mouth. It will help. I think it will help.”

Cold liquid goes down her throat.

Again.

And again.

And again.

She starts blinking rapidly as her mind becomes hers again slightly. Like she had a hold of it just a
bit better. Just enough to…

Malfoy pushes her to the ground again as a blast of magic flies over their heads. “Fuck! Where is
Blaise?!”

Hermione recovers, and instinctively pulls out her wand, and turns back to the battle.

Because it is a battle.

That is what is happening.

She remembers that.

She sees a Death Eater turn towards them, and point his wand.

“Expelliar…” Malfoy grabs her wrist, and pushes her out of the way again before she can finish
the spell, just in time for the curse to travel in between them and crash into the wall.

She falls onto her arse, and glares up at the man in front of her.

“What the hell Malf…”

“Your magic. They took it.” He sends a series of spells towards the Death Eater advancing until
Hermione watches the enemy fall to the ground.

She looks down at her stained red hands, and tries to pull forward that amazing part of her that she
found her meaning in. It isn’t coming. It doesn’t even feel there. There is nothing to pull. It is
just… gone.

I… I haven’t had my magic in a while, correct?

They took it a long time ago when… when Master found me.

But why do I feel like this is new again?

The noises, the battle taking place outside of her and inside of her, the fear, the danger. It is all
overwhelming her. Making her mind already unable to concentrate, lose control.

Her hands start shaking horribly, and she feels her eyes going into the back of her head.

“Oh fuck! That one! Hand me that one! It’s going to be a seizure.”

Another cold liquid down her throat.

“Swallow!”

She does.

“Impedimenta! What is wrong with her Malfoy? What is happening?”

“Whatever the Dark Lord was doing… I, I don’t know if we stopped it in time before… Oh thank
Merlin.”

“Is that… bloody fucking hell, they came! The others came!”

Her eyes start coming back, whatever Malfoy had given her had stopped what was happening.
She slowly looks over to the side to see a large group of people running into the room. None of
them are in black.

The Order…

It is them. She recognizes the older members as they attack the unsuspected Death Eaters. And
almost instantly change the course of the battle.

“Blaise is with them. Okay, okay when he gets over here, follow him. Do, and go exactly where he
says. Take her Red, help her.”

“What? No, Malfoy, they are here, we are going to win. I am not leaving him, and this fight just
when we are about…”

“Damn it! The… He did this for you! He came, and contacted, and… and… for you! To get you
out of this mess. And I need to get her out. She doesn’t have magic! She can’t stay here. Go!”

It finally registers what he is saying. He is trying to get them to leave. To leave what is happening.
To leave as they are about to win. She turns her gaze back to the podium, to see Ron battling and
staying close to the dead body of the once most evil wizard in the world. Bellatrix is throwing
curse after curse at him, screaming in fury, and rage at the loss of her master. She watches
Kingsley and Neville join him in the fight against the cruel witch.

“Holy shit… Nott… Frosty, is he…”

“I’ll take care of him. Get them out now Blaise. She doesn’t have magic.”

Hands are pulling her up, and leaning her back against someone who helps support her as she
stands.

Her eyes meet Draco’s and she sees more in them, and thinks she understands more than she had
been able to thus far as she looks into his silver pools.

His eyes go above her for a moment, and change into something else as they register someone
behind her.

Ginny is laying a kiss onto Theo’s half smile, and slowly removing her hand from his as she sobs
once more before rising, and coming next to Blaise.

But Draco pulls back from them. Why is he pulling back?

“Draco, what are you doing?”

His gaze turns back to hers at the sound of his name coming from her mouth, and everything in his
expression becomes softer. His eyes dart between hers, trying to put something together she isn’t
sure of. He moves forward, and presses his lips against her as he sinks his hands into her hair.

As soon as she feels him against her, it all makes sense.

Him.

Her.
Them.

Love.

A team.

“This is over for you, but it isn’t over for me.” He pulls away to rest his forehead against hers for a
moment before he nods at Blaise who starts to pull her out of his grasp. “I love you.”

What?

No! No! I am not leaving him!

We get an after!

Do not turn an I love you into a goodbye!

“No Draco! Please no, I need you!”

Like the hands around her forearms know what she is about to do, they yank her backwards and
tighten their hold, as she starts screaming and fighting against them.

Draco keeps stepping back, body still shaking, skin and face still pale, as he looks to the side again.
She follows his eyes and stops her fight as she sees the man looking from her, to Draco, and then
back to her again.

Master…

When he sees her noticing him, his face pulls back into that horrible smile, and he starts running
towards her.

“Go Blaise! Go!” Draco runs at Master with his wand out.

The spells and curses from the two men collide in the space becoming smaller as they both
advance. Master’s attacks go towards Draco while his gaze makes sure to keep her in it.

“No! No! Draco stop! Come with us! Come with me!”

He is shaking. He isn’t okay either. Something, she thinks she should know what, had happened to
him. It has made him weaker.

I need Draco alive, more than I need Master dead.

She curses into the air that she didn’t have her magic to lay Blaise into the ground as he hoists her
into his body, and starts towards the opening.
Leaving Draco and… and Theo.

Hermione can do nothing but watch as many things seem to happen in slow motion.

As master counters a spell, and instead of sending a curse towards Draco, sends one down towards
Theo laying in a pool of blood on the ground.

As Draco turns his attention to his best friend, and is able to shield him at the last minute.

As Master takes the moment of averted attention to raise his wand.

He is about to die.

The man I love is about to die.

“No!!” She screams at the top of her lungs, as she kicks back hard against Blaise’s leg, using the
moment to pull free from his arms, and run towards her wizard.

There is only one thing she can think to do. To stop this.

“Master!”

Everything about the horrible man flinches, and looks at her as she runs towards them.

“Hermione, no!”

She is still running until something grabs hold of her hair, and yanks her back, with a force that
makes the ringing start all over again.

She is pressed into a chest, with an arm wrapped around her torso, and what feels like a wand
poking into her neck.

“Move, and I break her.”

“Flint, I am going to fucking murder you. Get your…”

His promises are cut off as a binding spell hits Draco from the side. Making him incapable of
moving any of his limbs. He starts fighting against them, until Master grabs his wand out of his
hand.

“Take her now.” He says as his eyes mark her all over as he places Draco’s wand in his pocket.

“But sir, the battle…”

“The Dark Lord is dead! This war is over. But I am going to end this my way. Take her now.”

The twisted pull of apparition begins to happen as she sees Draco’s face change into a plea. Right
before the world goes black, she sees Master place his hand on Draco’s bound arm.

Then there is nothing but the upside down, twists, and the ringing growing, and growing all over
again.

She hits the ground, smashing her broken head onto the floor, making the ring have an echo, and
taking her breath away. She coughs in a few breaths before being pulled up by a group of people.
She feels delirious. The hot blood coming from the side of her head travels down her neck and back
as she tries to stop everything in her from spinning with the noise.

But when she opens her eyes, she closes them quickly again.

Because it can’t be right.

Oh no…

Oh nonononononono.

Please no.

She can’t control the noises, or her legs giving out underneath her as she takes in where she is
again.

Where she hoped to never ever be again.

Where she had spent the worst days of her life.

Where… the bed… the canopy she had tried to… the chair with the restraints… the needles, the
collar, the dental tools, the…

A pop of apparition makes her look away from the nightmare in front of her, but it only gets worse
as she sees Draco on his knees, restrained, in pain, with Master peering down at him.

“Sir, if The Order has won, don’t you think it’s in our best interest to turn them over to the…”

“I am having it one more time before I end us both. It belongs to me. No one else can have it.”

If it wasn’t for the potions in her system, she knows she would have blacked out already. Her body
is shaking unlike ever before, and whimpers are escaping her mouth as the man she hates more
than anything comes closer to her.

“Don’t touch her! I swear Dolohov if you lay one finger on her I will…”

“What will you do Malfoy? You can do nothing now.”

His rough, small hands pull her away from the group behind her, and into his musky and familiar
chest. She can’t control the tears as they start flowing out of her eyes, or the cries that begin to
increase as his hand smooths down her hair in a mockery of gentleness.

“Shh shh, my dear pet. I know. I know this has all been too much. But don’t worry. Everything is
now back to normal.” His mouth presses into her ear, and his breath makes her gag. It smells
rotten, like something is dead, or dying. “I have been dreaming of this from the moment you were
taken away from me. But now that little game is over my pet. All the games are over.”

“Game?”

Her mind can’t keep up with what is happening. It is shutting down, closing off like it knew to do
to survive what it believes is about to happen to her.
“Yes, all the little Malfoy was, was another game. Now you know don’t you? You know to please
me. To do nothing but make me happy.”

He turns them, and throws her onto the bed. The slip she is dressed in hikes up high as she bounces
onto the mattress. She tries to pull it down, to try and give herself a few more moments before the
inevitable.

“No, no, no, please Master please I…”

The back of his hand smacks her in the face before she can continue her sentence, and she wails as
someone else growls loudly in the room.

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH…”

“You prick… You undid so much training. So much hard work.” His hand comes up to touch the
red hot area, and caresses it back and forth with his thumb. “As punishment, you get to stay here,
and witness how it should be treated. What you missed out on by not cooperating. You get to see
how it has always and forever will be mine, and mine alone.”

She hears the sound of a zipper.

“No! No! Dolohov listen, you, you lost the war. You are going to be put in Azkaban, possibly
receive the dementors kiss. But, but if you let her go, we will cover for you. We will let you
escape. I will make an Unbreakable Vow to never tell a soul. Just stop. Don’t hurt her again. Please
I’ll do anything. Anything you want. I…”

Hermione watches as Master silences Draco before turning back to her.

“Let’s show him how wrong he is my pet. I do not hurt you do I?” He is crawling up onto the
mattress towards her. She backpedals until she hits against the headboard, and hears the chains
rattle.

The memories, and moments, and nightmares all come crashing into her mind that has given up on
trying to keep it together. She isn’t strong enough anymore. The monster in front of her grabs her
ankles, and pulls her down in front of him. His body is pressed on top of her, trapping her, slowly
destroying her with every centimeter of contact where their bodies are touching again.

Not again. Not again. Not again.

Please anything but this.

A loud thump from the ground has her turning her head to see Draco, face beat red, fighting against
the restraints as he watches the man on top of her begin to explore her body.

She doesn’t register the touches as much. She feels herself slipping away, and away, and away as
his hands grab, and squeeze, and scratch.

Trying to protect herself.

She knows this is over for her. She can feel it. Without her magic, she can’t fight him. 5 months of
being with him had proven that.
And she had survived them.

I… I was getting better right? Draco and Theo that hadn’t been a game of his… It couldn’t have
been.

She wishes she was more sure of herself. More sure of what was real that was flying into her mind,
and what wasn’t.

Hermione looks towards Draco again, and sees so much of what she always wanted to see in his
eyes that look caught in a level of pain that seems unimaginable.

He is being forced to watch again…

In the drawing room…

At the battle…

During the spectacles…

He can’t watch again.

I don’t care what is real or not. I cannot make him watch again…

For my sake.

She taps into the side of her leg facing him. Hoping the one memory she sees of her teaching him
was real. That he knows how to read it. That his eyes are understanding what she is trying to tell
him.

I LOVE YOU

As his face changes into a plea of despair, and he lunges forward again, she thinks that maybe she
had made all that up. That he didn’t understand.

But what did it matter what was real or not to the rest of the world? If the thought of being in love
with Draco Malfoy, and him being in love with her, made all this about to happen to her less. That
she had found some moments to create a version of herself she was proud of in the midst of this
never ending nightmare; well then, she was making them real for her.

She smiles at him. Wanting more than anything for it all to be real while at the same time hoping it
wasn’t. Because if it was real, this was all much harder for him, yet easier for her. It made what
she is about to do easier to go through with.
This is who you are pet….

Make him happy, and get a reward…

Ask for a reward.

She lets one more tear escape her eye before looking away from her wizard for the last time, and
turning back to the man on top of her.

“Master…” She remembers the voice leaving her. She hasn’t heard it for a while. The sound of the
other her taking over her body. But he recognizes it, and freezes his actions to meet her eyes. “I
promise to behave. I promise not to cry, or fight. I promise I will make you happy in all the ways I
know you love. But please, make… make him leave.”

She tries to control her face to show nothing, but what she knows he wants. She raises her hips to
meet his. He lets out a moan as his erection presses against her, and the breath leaving his mouth
makes her eyes water.

He was a lot of things, but she does not remember his breath ever being like this.

The loud thumps are continuous from her left as Draco pounds himself into the floor again, and
again, and again.

Master’s eyes raise to him, and then back to her.

“Why my pet, because… because you have grown attached to him?”

“No!” She raises up to bring her face closer to his, while at the same time, tapping against her leg
over and over again.

NOT REAL

NOT REAL

“ Because he doesn’t deserve to see what we can do. What… what we have. Not after taking me
away from you.”

Her hands tentatively move in between them. The shaking she doesn't have to try to control. She
always shook no matter how far she was in herself when he made her be proactive in her own rape.
She undoes the first button of his shirt, and then the next, and then the next. He watches her hands
and grinds himself into her thigh as he moans again.

The pounding to her left continues, and increases in intensity, making the bed shake with each
thump.

She needs him gone if she is going to do this. He has to be gone. He can’t see what is about to
happen.

“Fuck I’ve missed you.” Master moves his face until their noses are touching. He opens his mouth
and she remembers immediately why his breath must smell so horrible.
My tooth…

It looks like he had been smart enough to place a stasis charm on the eroding effects, but the
damage had already been done to the open wound, and the piece of her he claimed as his own.

The swelling, and purpling bleeding area is too much to keep looking at.

“Having just this small part of you has not been enough.” He raises, and sits back as he pulls his
shirt off, before climbing on top of her again. Skin is now touching skin, and she has to stop herself
from the bile coming up. That would not help her convince him. “You promise to be my good little
pet? To make me happy like you know how to do?”

She shakes her head vigorously up at him, trying to ignore the struggle happening to her left. She
can’t look at him as she does this.

Master’s hands possessively move up her front until they are squeezing around her neck, pushing
her into the mattress.

“Then say it.” He whispers down at her face.

No.

Nonono.

Those words…

Those words don’t belong to him.

She isn’t sure they belong to anyone, but she wants them to belong to the man to her left. She hopes
that is where those words have found their home. She prays it wasn’t a game.

But all of that really doesn’t matter right now. The only thing that matters is convincing this
monster to have Draco leave. To not let him have to watch again, be witness to her destruction
again, not able to do anything again.

Her hand is tapping loudly now on her bare thigh.

Please be real.

Please know what I am saying.

He doesn’t pet….

Why try?
NOT REAL

NOT REAL

NOT REAL

“I love you.” His mouth is on hers in an instant, and she starts gagging as the breath, and taste of
the decay is forced into her. His hand around her throat squeezes tighter, bruising her flesh in the
way he liked to do. And everything that made her, her, shuts down. Gives in. Like he had trained it
to do.

He pulls away, and smiles down at her, before looking over to the left. “Take him down to the
second floor, so he can still hear what it sounds like.”

Hermione squeezes her eyes shut. That wasn’t what she wanted, but she knows it is the best she is
going to get. Maybe he would let her be quiet. Maybe he would be so entranced by them being
together again, that he wouldn’t notice.

The thumping becomes sporadic, and noises of a struggle get louder as she knows the group of
men are trying to pull her wizard out of the room. She can hear him fighting, and even though she
tries to stop it, a tear falls from her eye again.

Because she can’t look.

She can’t watch him be taken away from her.

Everything she wanted. Everything she longed for.

Her everything being stripped away.

You belong to Master, pet.

He will never let you go.

“Damn it, ow! Just stop fighting it Malfoy! Sir, are you sure this is…”

“Shut the door.” His mouth is on her neck as his hands start claiming her again.

She stares up at the ceiling, trying to distract herself with the debate she had created in her head
many times of whether the ceiling was white or yellow. What the classification should be.

But as she feels his hands start to pull the slip off of her, she knows the distraction will not work.

Because this wasn’t just another rape.

This was the end.

He was going to kill them after this. Like he said, and had been saying for so long, she was his and
only his. And if he couldn’t have her, no one else could.
She wonders how he will do it. Probably messy and torturous if it was her guess. She would
probably never leave this bed again. And who would find her? Would anyone ever find them after
she was dead? Or would she be given just a sentence with no period? No conclusion. A missing
member that was never found, but presumed to be dead.

Or would she even be mentioned at all due to her fate? Would everything she gave, and did, be
washed over because the ending didn’t fit into what people wanted to hear, wanted to accept.

It could taint the victory, the spotlight on all the deaths of the young.

No she thinks, as the fabric continues to leave her. The last form of protection she has.

Not many people would want to spend time on her story. It wasn’t a pretty one. It wasn’t one
people would want to endure to read. Because it didn’t have a happy ending.

But that is the truth for so many stories in war, and in life.

They don’t end happy.

Sometimes they just, end. Without the people knowing a conclusion, without seeing death coming,
without any notice that their time has run out.

She looks over to the closed door. He is gone now. She is alone.

I am about to die alone…

But I would prefer that over him having to watch…

It is better this way.

A part of her stares at the door, trying to imagine it opening.

Showing someone from The Order coming to save them. That is how the stories all ended that she
had grown up with. That is what she used to believe. What she had believed up until the Battle of
Hogwarts when her innocence had been taken.

How many people in her books, who were given only a sentence due to their demise, felt this way?
Believed that someone would come. That someone had to come. Believing up until the very last
second when it was too late to think anything else. Dying with hope.

No one would ever know of course. Because they did not live to tell their stories. That
responsibility was placed into the hands of the living who would wrap the ending up into one
sentence. Because the living did not look too long upon death. It revealed too much. Made people
too uncomfortable.

Everyone wanted to pretend until the very end.

Until it was personal.

Until it was them.

She turns her gaze away from the door. Because she honestly has no hope anymore. No one is
 coming. There were plenty of people that no one came for, and she would be one of them.

Countless victims whose personal stories ended with the monsters winning, because they did win
sometimes. More times than people liked to acknowledge.

Harry, Fred, Remus, Nymphadora, Percy, Cho, Lavender, Colin, Snape… Theo, her.

A tragedy .

A small huff leaves her mouth as she smirks at the thought. How poetic. Her name came from the
author of all tragedies, why would she expect anything different for herself?

She hears Master pulling the rest of his clothes off far, far away, before his weight brings her back.
Forcing her to be a part of her own ruin.

No one was going to come for her, and change things at the very end like her namesake.

This is it.

She wishes it would all happen faster.

That she could somehow skip to the end.

But she can’t.

All she can do is let the other her take over.

Hermione closes her eyes, and accepts that the monster is about to win.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Graphic sexual assault, gore, depictions of battle, very dark thoughts and
themes throughout.
 Draco
Chapter Notes

Please check chapter end notes for trigger warnings for this chapter.

Next update will be Monday, Jan. 10, 8 pm USA EST.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘Stay here and witness.’

‘Stay here and witness.’

Witness.

Watch.

Watch.

I have to stop this!

Draco is pleading with no one. No one can hear him. No one can take in the words his mouth is
forming, and screaming against the silencing charm placed around him. But he keeps screaming
them anyways as Granger backpedals, and hits off the headboard of the bed, making the chains
rattle around her. Making her whole face change in fear and agony at the sound.

He has to keep screaming for someone, somewhere to hear.

To know that he was using every part of himself to try to get to her.

He pounds his body into the floor, fighting against the fuckers holding him back. Back from his
witch that the monster is now touching, and climbing on top of to…

He pounds again, pushing with every available ounce of will he has against the magic binding his
limbs together. Trying to get to her. Trying to stop what was happening to her. To him. To both of
them again.

This can’t happen again.

She can’t go through this again.

This can’t be how this ends.

With her being hurt, and him having to…

POUND POUND POUND

They have to get out of this. Someone has to stop this. They won. He had watched the Dark Lord
fall with the killing curse from the Weasel. He had seen Red kill the snake. The back up had
actually shown up. This was over.

This was all supposed to be over, and she was supposed to live, and change the world. And he was
supposed to make sure that happened. That is all he has ever wanted.

I did this to save you, not the fucking world. The world can burn for all I care if you are not in it.

Even as he fights against the many restraints, Draco can’t take his eyes off of the scene in front of
him.

Just like the last time he was in this room of horrors, and had seen the moving images…

He blinks quickly, and struggles to keep his eyes open through a fit of shakes that electrify every
muscle in his body. Struggling against the cruciatus curse’s lingering effects. They feel worse this
time. Worse than ever before. He isn’t sure how many had been cast on him. The sound of the
killing curse being spoken, and then seeing the evil wizard’s wand pointed at him, had made his
concentration falter. And then the damaging curse hitting him again and again had made his mind
lose all ability to hold on, to build.

Everything was breaking, and breaking, and breaking.

But he was pushing to keep clarity, to keep his eyes open, his body fighting, his mind ready to take
advantage of any small opening.

But no clarity could be won with this current nightmare, as Dolohov sinks his face into the curls
that belong to him. As he breathes in the scent of the lavender and vanilla through the iron of the
blood that is now coating that side of her head.

Draco hadn’t seen that injury happen, and he swears to himself to make Flint bleed even more for
it.

He pounds again on the floor, just to do fucking anything, but watch.

At the noise, her head finally turns towards him, and he meets those eyes once filled with hope.

The gold is gone again…

No…

Granger come back, please come back.

Do… Do you remember me? Us? Everything?

Is my Granger still in there?

His eyes search and stay fixed on hers, looking for any sign of recognition. Any sign that the voice
wasn’t taking over his beautiful, intelligent, fierce, conniving, vengeful, sexy, delicious tasting
witch. That her calling him Draco, and pleading for him to come earlier meant she remembered.
That she still remembered choosing him.

He looks and looks but the longer their eyes are connected, he sees. Even through the convulses
and spasms of his own body, he sees that she is gone. The woman he loves is disappearing with
every touch of the man on top of her. The other her is taking over, giving in, trying to do the only
thing she knew how, to survive a bit longer.

Tears are streaming down his face that feels on fire as he looks into her eyes. He wants to tell her
so many things. But no words can describe what is happening to her, to them. They would never do
the pain of emotions he is feeling justice. Because this couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. Not after
everything. Not after fucking winning. She doesn’t die now. She doesn’t have to go through this
again with him watching. That can’t be their ending.

Draco watches her hand start moving on her leg.

TAP TAP TAP

It takes him a moment to register what she is doing, but as soon as the second word is tapped out,
he understands.

You’re still in there! You remember! You lo…

Wait…

No… Oh fuck no!

Don’t you fucking dare Hermione! Don’t do it!

Please, please don’t do it!

Her eyes linger on his face as he knows everything in him that was breaking starts appearing on the
outside. At the total loss of control of everything he has walled up, at his body that keeps jolting
and tremoring with electrifying pain, at the incomprehensible mind fuck that was watching what he
was watching. It all is showing, as she smiles at him.

As she fucking smiles at him.

NO! NO! NO!

Granger, Hermione please, please, don’t do this.

I don’t know what the other her is telling you, but don’t fucking do this!

He tries to make it clear on his face. That he is begging. Begging for what exactly? Was he really
begging her to allow him to stay near her? To have to see, and hear what was beginning to happen
to her, instead of being taken away? Because it was going to happen to her. She was about to be
raped again. Brutally taken again. And then Dolohov would kill her. He knew the face of a man
who had made up his mind. Draco was pleading with the love of his life, to allow him to be near
her as she was slowly and torturously ruined.

I, I don’t want either Hermione. I don’t want these to be my only choices. Always my only fucking
choices. Watch or leave, watch or leave.

Always, always fucking watching.

Never saving.

That is never my option.

But if he had to choose, he would always choose whatever option kept him the closest to her.
Always. Because she was his hope until her last breath. He had to be near her hope, to believe to
keep fighting, to try to create the third option to save her.

A single tear quickly leaves her eye, and disappears into her hairline, and then, all too quickly, she
starts to turn away from him.

NONONONONONONO!!

Look at me Hermione!

Don’t do this.

That wasn’t it.

That wasn’t goodbye!

“Master…”

His vision starts to fade, and his entire body tenses as a current of pain makes its way through his
muscles that won’t even allow him to react in the only way he is able to do. He has to stop her. She
cannot say what he knows she is about to say. She cannot hand herself over to this monster for his
sake.

“I promise to behave…”

POUND

“…I promise not to cry, or fight…”

POUND

“…I promise I will make you happy in all the ways I know you love…”

POUND
“…But please make…”

POUND POUND

“…Make him leave.”

POUND POUND POUND

And then, he watches her raise her hips against the monster's obvious erection against her. The
movement is Draco’s final straw. He lunges forward, two of the hands holding his body back, slip
due to their own perspiration and shaking, and he falls closer to the bed. He pushes with his
shoulders and stretches his neck from one side to the other, trying to create some motion to move
his body closer. Closer to her.

But before he even makes it a foot, too many hands to count are pulling him back, stopping his
momentum, and raising him to his knees.

Dolohov is staring down at his witch, before he looks up at Draco.

I need to kill you. I need to, I need to.

“Why my pet…”

HER NAME IS HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER! AND SHE IS MINE!!

“…Because you have grown attached to him?”

She loves me. She loves me.

Me.

Mine.

Mine.

MINE!

“No!”

The word makes his chest cave in. She is lying. She has to be. She remembers. She loves him. She
had just been tapping on her leg and telling him that she loved… Draco’s attention goes back down
to her leg.

TAP TAP TAP

NOT REAL NOT REAL.

What does that mean? What isn’t real? Because everything was real currently. Everything was
happening and continuing and no one was fucking coming.

He wishes this wasn’t real. He wishes it more than anything. But it is, it was. Nothing good could
come from him building against this, and pulling away from the moment to make it easier to
survive. Because if he did, she wouldn’t. Her time was less than his. Her number of seconds were
fewer and fewer with each breath. So he couldn’t waste one not being fully present, fully here for
her.

“Because he doesn’t deserve to see what we can do. What… what we have. Not after taking me
away from you.”

He is shaking his head vigorously, and screaming at the silencing charm.

LOOK AT ME HERMIONE!

LOOK AT ME!

STOP THIS!

Don’t take my fucking choice away from me!

Her soft warm and familiar hands move in between her light and his darkness, and everything in
Draco freezes as he watches her shaking hands, start…

Start doing something that was part of their deal.

That was his.

That was only his.

That was them.

She was giving it to the monster. This is why she was tapping. To let him know, to warn him of
what was coming. What she was about to do.

It still hurt.

No hurt isn’t the correct four letter word.

Ruin.

Yes, ruin was right.

He pounds so hard against the floor with any part of himself that he can, until he hears the clanging
of the chains on the headboard, and watches Granger wince at the noise again.

He was making this worse for her. He was the reason she wasn’t fighting, wasn’t going out in the
Grangeresque way. The way that let her feel some semblance of control. He was the reason she
was submitting to the sociopath. He was the reason she was agreeing to make him happy in ways…
the bile in his throat burns and he gags trying to keep it in.

All I do is prolong her pain.

All I am is a part of her ruin.

My love is ruining her.

“Fuck I’ve missed you.”

The monster's mouth keeps moving in words, but Draco stops hearing them as he watches the man
straddling his girl sit up, and start removing the shirt she had unbuttoned. His skin is about to touch
her skin. This was happening. This was all fucking happening.

He can’t keep the bile down this time, as Dolohov crushes his witch into the mattress.

He is running out of time. It would be… It would be too late soon. It would happen if he doesn’t do
something now. Draco arches his back, and pushes against the binding magic again. All he can
move is his hands and fingers back and forth. His limbs start to shake with the effort, but he doesn’t
stop. He can’t stop. Not until his muscles are torn from his body, or she was no longer breathing.

You are not alone.

You are not alone with what is happening to you.

I am here.

Even though you can’t fucking hear me, please hear that I am fighting for you.

Everything I do is for…

His thoughts are cut off as Dolohov’s hand wraps around her neck.

“Then say it.”

Say it. Say what? What more could he fucking ask from his beautiful witch? What more could he
possibly want then…

No.

Fuck no.

Those words are MINE.

Her eyes still won’t look at him. Won’t turn towards him as he continues, and continues to pound
himself into anything close to him. To smash the hands holding him back. To knock them off
balance.

Then she moves her hand on her leg again in the same way.

TAP TAP TAP

NOT REAL

Nothing else exists in the world. Not the pain in every nerve of his body. Not the hands touching
him. Not the silencing charm keeping him from being heard.

The world becomes her in that moment.

Her and only her as her mouth moves to create the three words he knows without having to hear
them. He knows the way they look and taste on her mouth. He has the quirk of her upper lip on the
last syllable ingrained in his soul, but it is cut off by a mouth that is not his, claiming everything
that belongs to him.

Taking everything.

The world goes black.

He has no control over any part of him anymore.

Breaking, and breaking, and breaking.

Wall after wall after wall.

There is nothing within himself that cares either. All the parts of him that held on to small amounts
of morality, of humanism, of rationality disappear as a mouth pushes into hers.

Hands are now pulling him back. He blinks, and sees another tear fall from her eye as she keeps
them unflinching up at the ceiling.

She is getting farther away.

Every second.

Every moment.

Taking him farther away from her.

While bringing her closer to her end.

A hand grabs at his face to try to turn his gaze from his witch, and he uses the moment to clamp
down on the digits.

“Damn it, ow! Just stop fighting Malfoy! Sir, are you sure this is…”

“Shut the door.” The words are said into Granger’s neck, and she doesn’t even acknowledge or
flinch at the action.

She is gone.

She is done.
The other her is in control now.

And all because of him.

The hands keep pulling him back. He tries to stop them. He tries to fight.

My fault, my fault, my fault.

Everything is always my fucking fault.

He has thought his life couldn't get worse so many fucking times.

He remembers thinking all these similar thoughts only months ago as they walked to the first
spectacle.

Now he was living them.

Living the other side of the galleon.

Having the other choice made for him.

And now he is absolutely, without a doubt sure he can say that it cannot get worse than this
moment.

As his eyes, that had not left her, cannot see her anymore.

As the door shuts.

As the noise and loss of his everything echoes into his body, and causes everything to become still.

Nothing but 1, 2, 3, 4…

Nothing but second after second she is alone in there with that man.

I… failed.

I didn't save you.

All of it, everything, was for nothing.

He had failed everyone he tried to save. His love, and their love for him, had caused nothing but
harm. He had known that for a while. Snape tried to convince him of its truth. That his care for her
would lead to her demise. That it was the most dangerous weapon to be used against him and her.

Never had he expected that weapon to be used by her though.

That she would be the one to use their love to take him away.

That she would be the one to prove to him that he had failed.
He should have known.

He shouldn't have been so selfish with her.

He shouldn't have allowed her to love him. Then this would be better for her.

16, 17, 18, 19 seconds of this reality wouldn't exist if he would have pushed her away, kept that
divide between them.

She would be dead probably, but she would not be complacent. She would not have to experience
her spirit dying before her body.

She would have gone out in a glorious, fire filled way that would inspire.

That is what his witch is.

And yet, because of him, she was made weaker.

Because of their love, she was being ruined.

23, 24, 25, 26… What was happening to her now? Had he started? Was she being forced to
participate? Or was he hurting her before? Using the needles, and tools, and…

He turns his head, and vomits on Flint's shoes.

Everything had been for nothing.

His life had been for nothing.

His love for anyone had destroyed them.

He had failed his mother, while his mother’s love for him killed her.

His love for Th… he can't say his name. Not even in his head. It isn't possible. It can't be real.

I tried to save you brother. I failed... I failed at protecting you from the monsters like I promised I
would when we were kids.

And now Granger. Now Hermione...

The hands turn him around a corner and all of a sudden, the door is out of sight.

30, 31, 32, 33...

"Mr. Flint… I, I don't think this is a good idea. I don't understand what he is doing. The Order is
going to charge us for this. We… we could end up in…"

"Shut it, Droden! If… if a high seated Death Eater gives you orders, you follow them."

Draco feels one pair of hands pulling him farther while the other hands seem to hesitate, making
the fabric of their trousers brush against his fingers.
Fingers I can move…

"That is Hermione Granger in there! And this is Draco Malfoy! These aren't random Order
members Flint! She is the Golden Girl! And he is the youngest Death Eater to ever be initiated!
This… This is bad. They could give us the dementors' kiss for this!"

A pair of hands leave him. The pair that are wet, and slippery, and shaking.

He turns his head for the first time, and looks at Flint's unit.

He recognizes only a few.

Two he is sure of.

Because they are on his list.

From the Hogwarts presentation.

The two fucking Slytherin students that wanted a demonstration of his beautiful witches skills.

The bastard, and the one that nudged him to ask Draco about his witch were still holding on, but
seemed to be hesitating. Fighting with themselves on what to do.

The teenagers turn their gazes towards Draco, and he watches the color and confidence drain from
their face.

The gits are scared.

Terrified.

You should be.

He needs them to stay close. He needs their hands, and minds busy.

44, 45, 46, 47…

“The cause is bigger than the Dark Lord! It will continue after him. By men like Dolohov. So just
get over…”

“He said he was ending them both Flint! I know you heard him.”

Now more of his unit is stopping, pulling away from this situation. There was a reason Flint hadn’t
been a threat for so long within ranks until Draco started purposely sabotaging his own missions.
The man had no leadership skills. Talked out of his arse too much. And Draco had never been
more thankful for his incompetence as he leans back against the fucker, and feels the outline he is
hoping for in his pocket.

“You do not question your unit’s commander! What I say goes. So get back here and…”

He hears fucking Flint’s voice come closer as he bends down to grab Draco lower.
61, 62, 63, 64…

This is it.

The arms start to grab him around his waist, while also yelling at the assortment of young men
looking cautiously down at him. As soon as the voice comes next to his face, Draco smashes the
back of his head into the front of Flint’s.

The sound of the crack of his nose carries over the wail from the man, whose arms retreat to cover
the wound. Flint pulls away from him quickly, quickly enough to help pull the fuckers wand out of
his own damn pocket that Draco is barely holding onto with his fingertips.

But he is holding on to it.

He has it.

68, 69, 70, 71…

He uses his other hand bound close to maneuver the wand further into his grip. This is going to be
messy. An unfamiliar wand that was not made for him, while he doesn’t have much hand
movement, is not the safest idea, but he doesn’t really care about being precise.

I just need to get to her.

But he can’t say his curse. He needs to be able to say his curse to make the magic work.

He would have to use something simpler but effective, something he could do wordlessly.

He flips the wand behind him. Where Flint is trying to pull himself together.

Too late.

Draco channels all of his strength down towards the wand, as he recites the spell in his mind and
pushes it outwards, backwards towards the git.

She needs you. Do whatever you need to do, even if it is the wrong thing.

Draco feels his magic leaving him, as he slashes Flint’s body with the small motion of the wand to
make a larger area of impact. He doesn’t wait for the guttural painful scream to come from Flint
before maneuvering his body as much as he can to cast the same spell over, and over, and over,
again at the others around him.

He doesn’t stop.

Not at the sound of their screaming.

Not at the feel of the hot red liquid splattering onto his face, and clothes.
Not at the begs for him to stop.

Not at the sounds of bodies hitting the floor.

He doesn’t stop.

Diffindo!

He severs.

They scream.

He turns.

Diffindo!

He severs.

They gag.

He turns.

Diffindo!

He severs.

They fall.

He turns.

Diffindo!

He severs.

All are silent.

He smiles.

And turns.

83, 84, 85, 86…

He bends his back to place the wand in between his bound legs, and presses his magic forward. He
feels the sting of the severing charm against his calf and ankle, but the bound magic is broken. He
jumps to his feet, trying to angle the tip of the wand in between the juncture of his bound arms as
he runs.

Runs back around the corner.

He can now see the door.

Diffindo!

He feels the sharp pain of the cut, but doesn’t stop. Doesn’t pause to look at the damage. Doesn’t
pause to take in what he had just done. What he had chosen to become. Because that could be the
second. The determining moment for her.

He is running, but there is no screaming. No noises at all yet.

I can’t be too late.

I can’t be too late for you.

Not like with mother, and Th…

He crashes into the door as he turns the handle, and aims the wand out in front of him to where he
knows the monster is.

Where her slip is balled up.

Where she is naked, and unmoving.

Where he is on top of her and…

An explosion of magic leaves his wand, and sends the sociopath flying across the room, and into
the wall.

It is coursing out of him uncontrollably with his anger. Prickling, and sparking all over his skin in a
way that overpowers the curses lingering shock that had been making his body shake and tremor.

He waves the counter spell for the silencing charm as he runs over to the bed where she is still
laying.

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

“Hermione! Hermione!”
She is still looking up at the ceiling.

Not moving. Not looking at him.

Not reacting.

Should he touch her? He wants to touch her. Draco reaches forward to take her off of the bed that
he is sure holds too many horrifying moments for her to be on it a second longer.

He doesn’t know whether to look, or to ask, or what to do.The one thing he knows for sure, is that
she’s still alive. She is still breathing, and about to be in his arms again. And about to be safe
again.

She is alive.

And that is enough.

That will always be enough for me.

“Hermione, come back. Please come back. You are safe now. I got you. You are…”

She flinches as soon as his hands touch her arms. He stops, and watches her blink as she finally,
finally looks at him again.

“I’m here. I’m here Hermi…”

His voice is cut off as her face turns into horror, and she starts screaming. Kicking her legs, and
pushing his hands away.

“No, no, no, please don’t. I can’t. Please I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t…”

“Hermione! Hermione! It is me! It is Draco! I love you. I love you so fucking much. I love you
with every single piece of me. You are safe. He isn’t going to hurt you anymore. Remember?
Come back. Fight the other her. You don’t need her anymore. You are safe. I promise.”

He holds his hands out before her. Wanting to touch her, and wrap her up, and cover her exposed
skin, and take her out of this room.

But she has switched.

He needs her back before he can…

A groan from the floor has him looking up to see the sociopath rolling over.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

The groaning stops.

Draco looks back to Hermione who is now staring at him, eyes darting all over him.

Yes.
Yes.

Fight Hermione.

Fight back.

Let's win this war once and for all.

"You have 59 freckles on your hand. You used to have 62. Back in school I made a habit of
counting them. Since your hand was always raised in that swotty way of yours. It gave me plenty
of time to count them. I have a favorite freckle. Remind me to tell you sometime which one it is.
Your preferred shampoo is the lavender and vanilla scent. I think you have been using it since
attending Hogwarts. That first day on the train... you… you entered my mind Hermione. You
slowly traveled, and rooted, and helped break apart everything I was told the world would be. You
are strong. So fucking strong. And I think…"

He reaches into his robes, and pulls out the rest of the healing vials he has. If he can get her to take
them, maybe it would be enough. Enough to bring her back. He holds them out slowly, tentatively
towards her. Giving her the choice.

"Fuck, I don't want to say it yet. Because you told me if I told you what I had wished for, it
possibly wouldn't come true. But we are close Hermione. We are close to it coming true. Do you
remember? Remember the tent? Remember rolling your eyes at me 233 times over the past couple
of months? Remember the 87 cups of tea I made for you? The 33 times you threw your damn shoes
at me? I thought you would stop that when we got your magic back."

The side of her mouth raises slightly at his words, and he can’t stop himself from moving closer to
her, placing a vial in her hand.

"Swallow Hermione."

She does.

"Remember how you hold your stick all wrong, and how Th… Remember how you slowly took
back this beautiful body of yours? This spectacular mind of yours? You can do it again. I know
you can."

He hands her another vial.

"Swallow Hermione."

She does, and starts blinking more. The face of the other her slowly fading.

"We won Hermione. We won this whole damn war because of you. It is over. Remember?
Remember the Dark Lord is dead? The others showed up. And now the man who we have both
been needing to kill since he first laid his hands on you is on the ground. Waiting for you, love.
Waiting for you to end him. Because he is yours to end. You get to kill him, if you want."

Her gaze goes to the floor, and she stares down at the man unable to move. Dolohov's eyes are
trained on both of them. The fury is evident but the horrible man can do nothing.

Because he is nothing.
He is already dead where he lays.

She watches him for a long time, and Draco stands there waiting, trying to hold himself back. Not
wanting to push too hard. To not set her off again.

"Draco…"

Her eyes meet his.

The gold is still gone.

But the haze is clearing.

She is seeing him again.

Please remember… Please be able to remember everything after what they did to you.

Please don't let this be permanent.

"Yes. Yes Hermione. I am Draco."

He reaches out again, and she doesn ' t flinch, or blink, or anything, so he keeps going. Keeps
moving his hand until it is pulling her blood coated sticky strands of hair out of the gaping wound
on the side of her head.

He hands her the last potion with his other hand, and this time, she grabs it herself and swallows.

"You… you're all red. This time, this time it is you who is all red. Why are you all red Draco?"

She winces, but doesn't pull away as he casts healing charms onto the wound to stop the bleeding.

"They were in my way."

He looks at the closing wound for a couple moments longer before braving himself to meet her
eyes again.

They haven't left him.

They are traveling all over him. To all the spots and smears. He can feel the sticky thickness in his
hair, eyelashes, fingernails. He can feel his trousers wet from it.

"Flint and the…" her voice trails away as he helps her sit up, and starts shrugging his robes off to
cover her body. He takes a moment to scourgify the evidence of what he did in the hall.

That shouldn't be on her.

Not her.

As he pulls it over her, he notices the bruising on her neck, the bite marks on her collarbones… his
breath hitches as he looks lower and lower.

Would there be evidence? Would it be obvious? Or would he…

"No Draco… that… that didn't… you stopped him in time."

As soon as the words leave her mouth, his body falls into the empty space between them. His
knees smash off the floor in front of her, and he pulls her into his arms.

Arms that are starting to shake again.

Bringing her body that hadn't been taken from her again. That hadn’t had to endure that form of
brutality again.

She hadn’t been…

The monster didn't…

Thank fuck.

His head presses into her stomach as her hands travel into his hair. He can't talk yet. Not through
everything he is feeling as he realizes he has made it in time. How he has created the third choice.
He starts thanking. Thanking anything and everyone that for once in his fucking miserable life he
had made it in time.

"I… I'm confused."

Wait, what?

He lifts off of her immediately. She is confused. Confused about what?

Her hand pushes against her forehead, and she closes her eyes tightly before shaking her head.

"There is too much Draco. I… I don't know how to make sense of it. And it hurts. It still hurts."

Draco swallows, as she keeps pressing against her head. In the same way she was back at the
battle. Like she was fighting to get to something happening inside her.

What did the Dark Lord do?

He rises to his feet slowly, and pulls his robes over her more.

"We need to leave. We need to get you to a healer. Do..." The words he needs to ask get trapped in
his mouth. Because he doesn't want to ask them. He doesn't want to know. He doesn't want to
make it his reality. "Do you remember me? Do you trust me?"

He holds out his red hand.

She looks at it, and then up at him, before placing her own red hand in his.
"I don't know. I don't know what is real, or not, and what is all combined wrong. But… I feel like I
can trust you, even if… even if nothing in my head is making sense."

He squeezes his eyes shut, and fights against the emotions running wild inside him in a way they
haven't since he was a child.

That wasn't what he wanted to hear. But it also wasn't hopeless. She trusted him. Even if she didn't
understand or remember clearly, something inside her told her she could trust him.

That is enough Draco.

That has to be enough right now.

He needs to get her to a healer. He needs Th… fuck, damn it, bloody hell… he needs to find
someone who can check her mind. See what was done. What exactly has happened.

"You can trust me Hermione. If you can hold on to anything, hold on to that. Now, come on, we
have to get you out of here."

She lets him help her stand, and they slowly walk away from the bed.

He starts to bend down to pick her up, and into his arms, but her eyes are not on him anymore.

They are back over to the ground.

Where he lays.

"Wait…" It is barely a whisper out of her mouth. But Draco hears it and stops. Her hands gripping
his shirt squeeze the fabric tighter for a moment as she purses her lips, and lets go to stand on her
own.

He stands behind her. Ready to catch, or carry her if she needs.

"Can he hear me?"

He moves closer to her. He can't stop himself. "Yes."

"I hate you."

This time the words come out strong. They come out as her. As his witch usually sounds. And
Draco's skin goosebumps.

Her hands form into fists as she stares down at the man who had tried to destroy her. Who had
given it his all.

But now everything was right again.

She stands tall over him, stronger, as he lays on the floor.

Like the animal he is.

Granger steps away from him, and walks over to the table where so many things lay.
She picks up something.

Something it is clear she is sure of, even though Draco is confused.

Her hand is in his, and pulling him along with her as she moves right above Dolohov.

The man's eyes go from the tool, to her, then back at the tool.

He registers what it is.

He knows what she is about to do.

"Hermione…"

"Open his mouth."

Draco doesn't hesitate before bending down, and prying his mouth open with the wand before
stepping back just enough to allow her to hover over her monster.

The look of disgust, of triumph, of assuredness over her face keeps the goosebumps on his skin.

Merlin she is terrifying.

And I love it.

Kill him.

"I never loved you. You worthless, disgusting, excuse for a human. You never had me, and you
never will…" She places one hand beside the bastard's face, and leans in to place the tool in his
mouth. Dolohov’s eyes don't look scared though. They look sad, surprised, maybe even still a bit…
enamored as she places the tool back into the corner, and brings her face close to his.

And then, right before she speaks, Draco sees the gold shimmer. Bright. Like her eyes had been
simmering and now set a blaze with what she is about to do.

"I am taking this piece of me back. I am taking them all back. None of them, not one belongs to
you, you fucker."

With her last word, she moves her hand to his neck, and begins to squeeze. The monster’s eyes
bulge slightly, and her smile grows as the color of his face changes slowly from tan, to a darker
shade, to finally purple as she keeps squeezing his flesh. Not letting up. Stopping his lungs from
receiving the life giving oxygen they need, as her other hand holding the tool begins to pull up. She
grinds her teeth, and grimaces with force as she pulls against the resistance, pushing down harder
on his neck for leverage.

She pulls, and pulls, and pulls.

Until.

POP

She falls back, and Dolohov's gasps sound full of liquid as the wound from her extraction starts to
block his airways instead.

Hermione sits on the floor staring at the bloody, rotten, and grotesque tooth clamped within the
tool.

She has it.

She took it.

She took it back.

That's my girl.

Fuck, I love you.

Hermione places the part of her into her hand, and then opens up his robes to put it into the pocket
with her S.P.E.W. pin on it.

"Help me up."

He does as she asks, and pulls her into his arms. Her body is shaking lightly all over.

He places his head into the crook of her neck, and is overwhelmed with the magnificence of her.

"I am so proud of you. You took it all back. All of it…" He raises off of her neck to see her smiling
up at him as he is smiling down at her. The darkness and light in her eyes play with each other to
make the gold appear and change.

Because she was best when she was both.

She was her when she was both.

He turns her around, back down to the man in front of her.

"Now kill him. Kill him like I know you want to…" He kisses the back of her head.

"I want more than that."

"What do you mean?"

She turns enough to place her lips next to his ear before she starts whispering into it.

Words he remembers discussing with her months ago. Plans for their monsters.

She pulls away and looks at him. Maybe she doesn't remember that they discussed this. That he
had been the one to suggest a quick death being too lenient for the man.

But it doesn't matter.

"I will do anything you want Hermione. Is that what you want?"

She nods her head once at him before grabbing his hand with the wand in it, and raising it.
"It… it will affect…"

"I welcome its effects if you allow me to do with you." He needs no more encouragement. Nothing
in him cares anymore about the ramifications.

She tightens her small warm hand around his.

"Say it with me." He whispers into the side of her hair.

"But, I don't have my…"

"Say it with me, love."

Holding the wand together as he maneuvers it, they both say together the curse he had made to save
her months ago.

Her hand stays on his as the green magic lights up the end of the wand, and hits Dolohov on the
floor.

Draco can feel the addictive draw as his magic twists into the curse, and searches for something to
take in response.

Take it.

I gladly give it this time.

I give it all for this moment.

For her.

Dolohov's skin starts to change, starts to disappear. Too fast. Much too fast. Draco places a stasis
charm. Giving her time to look at the beginning of his curse. At the small patches of skinless area
that starts leaking fluid immediately. Giving her as much time as she wants to take this all in. Her
eyes move all over him for a while, before turning back to him and nodding.

Then he lifts it.

The curse continues, turning his skin into nothing like parchment held above a flame. Slowly
spreading over the entire area. Draco places a stasis charm again. His witch moves closer. Looking
at the body that had tried to destroy her, slowly being destroyed at their own pace.

Half of the skin on his face is gone. His lips that had touched, and marked, and bitten his witch are
gone. Showing the large seeping wound where the piece of her had been. His hands that had hit,
and punched, and slapped his woman are now nothing but bleeding ligaments and tendons. His
lower half that he had used to violate her was of no use anymore. No use at all.

And he can't move.

His eyes show the pain.

Show he is feeling it all.

But he can't do a thing.

And Draco and Hermione both smile as Draco lifts the stasis charm again, and the man becomes
entirely red.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Very, very slowly.

Torturous isn't it?

Until it is his red body.

Until it is his lifeless body.

His brutalized body.

His unrecognizable body finally the one on the floor.

Finally no longer breathing.

Finally, finally gone.

"That… that felt good."

"It did."

He kisses her hair again, and she leans back into his body, before bringing her hand up to her head
again.

"The war, Volde… is it really…"

"Yes it is over Hermione. And we need to get back. Red, and Th… and The Order don't know
where we are. We need to get you to a healer and…"

"Theo. Where, Draco where is Theo?"

He closes his eyes, and bends down to pick her up into his arms, and starts carrying her out of the
room.

"Draco answer me. He, I think, no I feel like he is very important to me."

"He is very important to all of us. Close your eyes."

He opens the door, grabbing his wand from the monster's pocket before shutting it behind him.

"Close my eyes? Why would I…"

"Unless you want to see them, I suggest you close your eyes, Hermione. I think you have seen
enough."
He turns her head into his shoulder as they come closer to the corner. The pool of blood can be
seen already. A hand too.

She doesn't fight him. Instead she accepts, and buries her face into his collar as they turn the corner
to the scene.

He slips first.

Again, he slips.

He holds on to her tighter, and gives himself a minute to right himself as he steps over the bodies,
and pieces.

He should feel more than what he is feeling.

He knows the fact he isn't will more than likely be a problem in the long run. But for now he steps
carefully, more concerned not to slip again in the blood to keep the witch in his arms from being
uncomfortable.

She presses her head into his shoulder hard. Rubbing it back and forth as he walks out of the house.

"It… It still hurts Draco. Something is wrong."

He picks up his pace. And runs past the wards to disapparate back to the manor.

"I know. We are going to take you to a healer. You are going to be okay Hermione."

"You saved me, didn't you? You… you didn't have to watch again?"

He disapparates before he can respond.

Back into the room where the final battle had been happening.

Draco struggles for a moment before he shakes his head, and centers himself as Granger moans
into his chest lightly.

There are people everywhere.

But none are in black.

"Draco!"

He looks over to see Blaise running towards him, away from a group of people dressed in clothing
he recognizes immediately.

Healers.

"Holy fuck… are… is she… what happ…"

"She needs a healer. She needs to be taken to a facility so they can see what has happened."

A witch notices them, and a swarm of healers surround him, all talking at once.
"Sir, place the witch on the ground. We will check her while the others examine you and…"

"No. Just her. Just look at…"

"'Mione!" The Weasel pushes through the witches on the other side of her body that is now laying
on the ground.

The redhead falters as he sees the blood, the fact that she is bare under Draco's robes, and that her
eyes are closed as she shakes her head back and forth.

"What… what did you do to her?!" Weasley pulls the bloody sword out from behind him, and
points it at Draco.

"Not the time Weasel! She had her mind tampered with by…"

"Yeah by you, you fucker! Get away from her! This is over, she isn't yours anymore."

What is happening?

The witches around his woman are now looking at him differently. Noticing, and taking in that the
blood all over him is not his own. Noticing the Death Eater robes Granger is wrapped in.

Their eyes travel from her to him, and Draco knows what is happening.

I am not the enemy.

I have to stop this.

I need people who can tell them. Tell them that what they're thinking isn't true.

He looks around quickly for Red.

She can help the most out of anyone.

But he doesn't see her.

He doesn't see her or…

He looks over to where his brother used to be.

The blood is still there, but his body is gone.

"Blaise where is Red and…"

"She took off after you two disappeared. Took his body with her back to his rooms I think. I was
trying to go after her, but the witch is good with that Bat-Bogey Hex of hers."

A flash of a camera makes them all stop talking.

Draco turns to see photographers taking pictures of lots of things. Of the body of Voldemort still on
the ground. Of the group of Death Eaters bound and ready for Azkaban. Of the few dead bodies
scattered around the floor.
Of Kingsley Shacklebolt who is talking to someone writing things down in front of him. And at the
Golden Girl being cared for by healers all looking at him suspiciously.

No, I, I saved her.

I did.

She knows.

She knows I saved her.

Ask her.

"She needs to be taken to St. Mungo's immediately." Says a witch who won't take her wary eyes off
of him.

They float her body up onto a cot, and cover her with a blanket.

"Draco…" Hermione's head lobs to the side to look at him, and he reaches out to pull a couple
strands back behind her ear before he lowers his forehead to hers.

"I'm here. I'm right here. I'll be right…"

"Are you her husband, or family sir?"

Draco looks up to the stern witch who had already made up her mind about him.

"No, but I love her, and she has been with me…"

"Love her?! Shut the fuck up Malfoy! He isn't anything to her. Nothing but her ruin."

"Only family is allowed to come with us. Is a family member of hers present?"

I am her family.

I promised her father that I would be her family.

The cameras keep flashing.

The witches keep talking hurriedly, and it makes him worried about his girl's state.

The wart keeps yelling anything, and everything at him.

And it all needs to stop.

He can't help her with this.

 Fuck no.

No, no. I just saved her. We just ended this. I can’t let her out of my sight now...

“She doesn’t have any family. No one but me. We, we are all…”

”Only immediate family sir. Now please let go. She needs attention immediately.”

The cot starts moving, but Granger has a hold of his hand in hers.

”Draco, no. I need you. Please come with me. Please…”

”It is okay dear.” The healer’s hands wrap around theirs and gently, yet forcefully, pries them
apart. “We are going to take care of you. You are safe.”

Granger is looking at everything happening like it doesn't make sense either. Like it is too much
for the state of her mind. She grimaces again, and squeezes her eyes shut as she pounds her hand
into her forehead.

If I want her to be okay, she needs to go.

They need to take her.

They need to treat whatever is hurting her, and making her forget.

I… I have to let her go.

He hates what he is about to do as he is doing it. It goes against every fucking thing he had been
fighting for, for years. But her safety comes before his wants.

Something was wrong. She needed the best healers. She needed to go to St. Mungos. He wouldn't
let his love hurt her more.

Draco takes in his witch; breathing, alive, for a few seconds before he lowers, and places a kiss on
her cheek. "I love you." Then pulls away, and runs.

He needs to get out of here. Without her fighting for him, without Red, he doesn't stand a chance.

He needs to find Red. Her, the invisibility cloak, and his brother.

He needs them all if he is going to get Hermione back.

He throws the floo powder into the fire, and steps back into their room to hear nothing but the
wails, and screams of someone in grief.

Someone who has lost something.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Graphic images of gore, death, torture, sexual assault. These scenes happen
throughout the entire chapter.
 Theo
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Chapter End Notes

Next update will be Friday night, Jan 14th USA EST.

 Ginny
Chapter Notes

Please refer to end notes for trigger warnings for this chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Is there anything else we should put on his plaque?"

Ginny barely hears the question addressed to her. The rough nudge at her side is what really makes
her blink back into the real world.

The world she doesn't want to be in.

Not one part of her belongs to it anymore.

All the pieces worth living for aren’t here.

She looks up from the finger she is grasping between her other hand tightly, to the people
surrounding the table. "Sorry, what?"

A frustrated huff from Aberforth is heard over the forceful drop of his quill. "Ms. Weasley, you
knew him better than anyone else here. Is there anything you think should be added to his? We are
all needed at the ceremony soon, and I would like to be able to finalize the memorial plaques
before this meeting ends. Even though he will not be buried today as requested."

She can't help the scoff that leaves her throat. A meeting to finalize the burials for those of them
who hadn't made it. A group of survivors doing ridiculous things to try to make the absences, the
lives, what they gave into something grand.

Trying and failing to make it enough.

To honor them.

What a load of rubbish. It was all just to make the living more comfortable. A selfish act in her
opinion.

The dead didn’t care. They weren’t here anymore to care. But the survivors were. Maybe shit like
this helped some people with their grief. Maybe she was being cruel and a cynic. But this didn’t
help her.

Placing words in exchange for whole lives would always fall short.

That is what she is currently being forced to attend. Another fucking pointless meeting to wade
through. That forces her to exert precious energy she was trying to save for more important matters.
It was draining to have to pretend. Pretending to be here in this room.

Like she actually cares about what words get placed for people to skim over on their way to buy
supplies for their new job, or books for their children’s school year, or any other normal event that
everyone would be able to do again with this second chance they had 'won'.
It was already starting to happen.

5 days. It had been 5 days since the war ended.

5 full days of events, ceremonies, speeches, parades, photos, and life.

People returning back to before.

But not her.

No.

She is still on that floor.

She is still holding Theo. Watching his eyes close.

In those few moments.

That is where she has been.

Because some moments last longer than time. They are more than that. More powerful than
numbers, and light and dark. They transcend breaths, and the world spinning, and the people
moving.

Always moving.

Moving forward they keep telling her.

Moving to a better tomorrow.

But tomorrow for her will be the same as today.

And the day before that.

And the day before that.

And the day before that.

Because all they hold, all that they are filled with, are those few minutes with him.

Of brown curls.

Of green eyes.

Of holding his hand.

Of watching that bloody fucking half-smile appear.

Of wading in the water of that moment; becoming exhausted as the current tries to move her
forward.

Trying to take her away.

It would drown her soon; staying there with him.

She knew it.

But she didn’t care anymore.

What happened had taken up more than those moments. Some things that happen to a person have
the power to do that. To take up days, weeks, months, whole lives.

They consume time, and make it stop. Never to start again.

She clasps her hands back into one another, and squeezes hard.

I’m never going to let go of you…

I don’t think I am able to.

Ron elbows her in the side again, and she looks up to meet Aberforth's eyes looking frustratedly
down at her. Waiting for a response. "I think he wouldn't give two shits about what was on his
plaque."

The git’s head shakes. Her mother’s head shakes. Others try to pretend she hasn't said anything.

Oh, am I making you uncomfortable? This is what makes you uncomfortable as we sit around and
talk about our dead loved ones?

Fuck all of you.

Aberforth picks up the pieces of parchment, and taps them against the top of the table to form a
precise stack.

A stack of orders for plaques for the dead.

The stack is large, the names are familiar, and the ages are young.

The sound of the tap is heavy, making her flinch at the thick collection of forms being placed into a
box to be owled to the supplier.

I wonder if Teddy used the same one?

“Well if you have nothing to add, then we shall move onto the last item of business before the
ceremony.” The older wizard ties a ribbon around the box, and whistles. A large barn owl comes
swooping in and picks up the package, and flies out the open window. “The press will be allowed
into St. Mungos today directly after the ceremony. And all of you are requested to make an
appearance. They will be given access to only the second and fourth floors.”

At this, her brother sits up straighter in his chair next to her. “The second… But the healers are only
allowing immediate family to see her. They have closed off all access, how are they…”
“They will not be going to disturb Ms. Granger during her tumultuous healing Mr. Weasley. They
will only be allowed to her door. The main focus will be on getting documentation of moving some
of the fallen Order members from where they are being held on the fourth floor, to their respected
burials.”

The fourth floor…

His floor.

Ginny closes her eyes, and stops exerting her energy to keep her afloat.

Sinking deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

Everything that was her actual present begins to sound further and further away until it is nothing
but muffled noises, hazy images, and figures that bob with the current.

Just a hand in hers. That is her anchor. That is what holds her steady in the water consuming her.

She needs to get her hand back in his.

She sees his green eyes down here. Looking up at her.

She feels the hot, red, blood pouring out of him. She sees herself pressing the openings back
together like somehow that would fix it. She listens to her voice losing all control and saying so
many things. Damning things. Trying to remember anything about healing. Hating herself for not
taking her precious time with him to learn more. Because he could probably fix all of this.

He could fix anything.

Anything, but himself.

She was letting him down.

The fucking healing kit is right next to her with all the answers, and she has no idea which one is
the answer for Theo.

He starts to speak to her, and fluid comes with his words.

With Teddy’s words to her.

Goodbye words.

She knows them as soon as he says them. He knows he is dying. But she can’t accept them. No, he
has to make it.

Then he speaks again. Requesting something. Somehow lifting his arm to show her what he wants.

Maybe it is how I can save him.

She is digging in his pocket, feeling the squish of the blood as her hand sinks in and pulls out the
galleon. She can’t recall what she said. Not word for word at least. What she said didn’t matter. All
that matters down here is him. Him in her arms telling her some obnoxious word for blue.

To write it, and send it.

Like the action makes perfect sense to him.

He is getting paler. His eyes are starting to droop more and more. His body is becoming heavier in
her lap.

She does as he asks her to do. She can’t deny him. Not now. Not after once a-fucking-gain hurting
the people she cares about with her rash decisions.

Ron was supposed to handle the snake. That was the plan. But when Hermione was being hurt, and
Malfoy was placing his hand in his pocket, when the burning of the galleon could be felt, they
made a decision.

They made the decision to use this moment, and do whatever necessary to make sure the noseless
git died.

Whatever was necessary now felt like a horrible decision. She had meant about her own fate. Not
his.

A smile, her favorite smile is forming on his face now. It forms slowly down here underneath the
water. Very, very slowly.

The left side creeping up and making the creases in his cheek for what feels like a long, long time.
It is this moment that always goes the slowest.

That half-smile of his.

As his eyes close, close, close. Until the green is gone.

The green is gone again.

Then the moment turns into nothing but chaos, and agonizing noises, and Hermione on the floor,
and Malfoy yelling at her, and Zabini showing up out of nowhere.

Then she is letting him go, letting go of his hand. Letting go again. Letting go of everything that
was left of her with him.

It all stays with him on that floor.

That is why she is still there.

Even after Hermione and Malfoy disappear, and the others show up, and the fighting ends.

Maybe it is a mistake. Well, more than likely it is a mistake. Most of her decisions ended up being
horrible mistakes, but she runs back over to him. Determined not to leave him. Repeating fucking
history.

She keeps trying to cast a diagnostic charm. To see if his heart is still beating, for something to tell
her what she needs to bloody do.

It plays in a loop. The images, the feel, the smell, the taste, the moment.
Loop after loop after loop.

Always ending with a voice.

Always ending with the last person in the world she thought would be talking to her in this
moment, looking down at his son, telling her she needs to take him back to the manor now.

He spits out the words before the binds and silencing charm are placed, as he is escorted away with
the rest of the Death Eaters.

“Gin, you there? Are you listening?"

She shakes her head again, and comes up to the surface of a place different than the meeting room
she had been in.

She is standing.

Now she is standing behind a curtain.

And there are voices.

Lots and lots of voices.

Oh fuck me sideways…

The ceremony. The ceremony was about to begin.

She must have spaced out again, gone under so deep she somehow got here without realizing.

Well that is a new power.

“I fucking hate this.” She leans back into the railing, and rubs at the skin of her chest.

Her brother places the sword of Gryffindor into his other hand, squeezing the hilt hard. “Yeah…”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Don’t try and act like you do Ron. We all know you are loving every
second of finally being the hero.”

Her brother’s hand stops circling the sword, and he meets her gaze. He looks tired, drained.
Probably just as much as she does. The bags under his eyes are back, along with the purple hue to
his skin. His beard is long and looks like it has been a while since he has trimmed it.

The Order had been carting him around ever since the victory, Ever since he killed the noseless git,
and was able to secure the body.

They had wanted to do the same with her. But she had given them her second favorite finger again.
She wasn't leaving. She wasn't wasting precious time on fortifying all the stupid lies. She guesses
she ignored one order too many, and was subsequently dragged to the fucking meeting earlier, and
apparently walked here as well without really taking any of it in.

Still too deep with Theo.

“Fuck you Gin. I wanted to win with them. I would give anything to have done this with them
instead of by myself.”

Ginny scoffs, and moves to stand across from him.

“You didn’t do it by yourself you prat. Did you see the stack of names for the plaques? And
Hermione gave every part of herself to make this happen.”

She rubs her hands over her face, pressing into the temples and trying to get her vision to focus. To
try and be as present as possible. So she can get back as quickly as she can.

“You know what I mean. All of this, even… even what is about to happen doesn’t feel right
without them.” He tosses the sword onto the ground, and sits down on the stairs leading up to the
stage hidden by the curtain.

“Yeah well none of how all this shit is going down is right.”

She doesn’t want to be here. Just like she didn’t want to attend the other mandatory events that had
taken place over the last week. All to help create this new beginning. All to help boost morale, and
get the wizarding world back into motion.

Event after event to solidify so many lies into history. But what were a couple omissions and
falsities for the greater good right? Hadn’t that been the way of The Order since the first war? That
was how all the leaders operated and ran this side of the war since the creation of The Order.

Almost the truth here.

Invoking the naive young to take on heavy consequences before they understood what it all really
meant there.

Creating a whole fucking false story about Harry Potter and his death to cover up the lies here.

She should care.

She should care more than she does.

She probably should be actively doing something, or at least trying to fight against the false
narratives being created.

But she doesn’t have the energy.

All of it, every last drop of it, was still with Theo.

“Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for…”

“For the greater Godric’s gonads good, yes, I know Ron. I have been hearing that rubbish saying
for years now as I watch the greatest goods die because of it. Sorry if I am unconvinced.”

He doesn’t say anything back to her. They stand there listening to the crowd, both seem to be sick
with the idea of walking up on that stage.

“Is there any chance I could… borrow the cloak today?”

“No.” Her answer is immediate. She needs the cloak. The ferret needs the cloak. She knows
exactly why her brother is wanting her cloak, and hearing his denial filled, bollock’s beliefs would
not help Hermione right now.

Not with everything she was still working through.

“He meant a lot to me too Gin! I have just as much a right to use the cloak as you do.”

“Oh? Did he put his cock inside of you too?”

She leans back against the railing of the stairs, and crosses her arms in triumph as her brother
visibly winces.

“Blimey, just stop…” Ron shakes his head and lets out a deep sigh as he stares into the space in
front of him. “I won’t tell anyone, but we both know I know so… How is she? Really?”

Ginny lets out a huff, and lowers her hand to rub at her heated chest again.

“They have her asleep a lot. But sometimes, when she is awake, it seems like she is close, but then
she slips again. Back to the ‘other her’ as I guess she used to call it.”

Her brother’s head falls farther in between his legs as his hands go to fists at his sides. The skin
around the knuckles becomes paler as his grip tightens. "I'm afraid we are never going to get her
back."

Ginny steps closer and breathes in deeply, trying to see if she can smell the all too familiar stench
that had been encasing him for months. The substance that took her funny, easy going brother
away, and replaced him with an always angry and cruel shadow. Hermione said how he reminded
her of when he was burdened with a horcrux back during their hunt. The time he had left them. The
time she knew Harry even had trouble truly forgiving him.

She doesn’t smell anything, but moves to sit directly next to him just to make sure.

Ron looks up, and rolls his eyes.

“I haven’t slipped. Still sober. Won’t say it has been easy though, or that I haven’t been tempted.
Seeing her fucking kiss the prick, then coming back to the battle bleeding and naked, and hearing
him say he loves…” His voice breaks, and he lowers his head into his hands, and rubs at the skin.
“It, it hasn’t been easy. But I can’t save her if I’m drunk. I can’t win this match unless I am fully
aware and able. And knowing that things will be the same again soon is what is keeping me
going.”

Ginny doesn’t understand exactly what Ron is saying. She isn’t sure if it is her own unhealthy
coping mechanism making his words make no sense to her, or if what he is saying truly doesn’t
make any sense. She squeezes her eyes shut and tenses the muscles in her neck, trying to force
more cognition into her brain. Like that actually worked.

“I get it. Trust me, it took me a while to believe it too honestly. But she and the ferret are actually
really good together. Maybe if we wouldn’t have been so caught up in our own romance drama;
what with you and Lavender, and Harry and I, we would have seen what was going on between
them and…”

“Merlin’s saggy left tit Ginny, you don’t believe all that rubbish do you?” He sits up, and
straightens his shoulders. Like he is about to fight. “Seriously, even after the healers report that
labels the damage to her mind? How much of it has been fractured, combined, obliviated, and
messed with, you believe the fucker didn’t take any part in that? In making this… This Hermione
that chooses a man who killed our friend, who stood by and did nothing as she was tortured, who
called her that word, who tortured people to death, who massacred fucking teenagers, who only
came around to our side once he had an in to protect himself with. Seriously?”

“Yes seriously, because your denial makes no fucking sense! The stuff between them has been
going on since we were kids! And if it really was all some last effort in saving his own arse, don’t
you think it would have made more sense for him to let Dolohov have her after it was evident we
won? Instead of risking his own life to get her back? Think Ron, actually think. Get passed this
perceived idea you have of Hermione, and see who she really is now. Maybe it is time to let her
go.”

Her brother scoffs loudly, and stands up to grab the sword off the ground.

“I was paying attention! I was always paying attention to her! That was the fucking problem with
me and Lavender or me and Padma! It was always her! And yes I fucking saw him. I knew he
wanted her in a twisted way Ginny, but she didn't! I would have seen it. I would have… have felt it
when we kissed. I know it." Ron's anger is turning into something else. She can see it.
Transforming from rage into hopelessness. Into fear as his head bowes and the muscles in his
hands go slack. "I… I can't let her go. I can't. If I do then… then it is all gone. Everything that
could still be made right and normal again is gone."

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes." She doesn't even finish her question before he answers.

He looks up and she can see the pain in his blue eyes. How angry he still is at everything, but she
thinks he is more angry with himself than anything else.

"I am not talking about in a friend or family way, Ron. I am talking about really being in love with
her. Giving every piece of yourself to her for the rest of your life and regretting nothing. Because
honestly, I think you two never really figured out if it was everything or maybe just a close…
almost."

He doesn't say anything back to her for a while, and she is thankful. Her head is pounding as she
tries to get her vision to focus and be prepared for what is about to happen.

"I want her to be safe and happy. Above anything else. If I know for certain she is then… I guess it
doesn't matter what is everything or almost to me."

Ron stands straighter as he speaks, and nods his head to himself. Like he is reaffirming something
within him.

"Well, I know it is hard to believe, but I don't think there is anywhere she could be safer than with
the bleached fer…"

"Mr. And Ms. Weasley, please be ready. You are on in a few minutes."

They both look up to see a group of people walking towards them. With the new Minister of Magic
leading the way.

The man who had addressed them pulls them both up off of the stage entrance, and walks up to
disappear on the other side of the curtain.

There is no way she can actually do this.

It was so fucking stupid.

Maybe if she scooted back towards the wall, no one would notice her and she could make a quick
get a way. So she can get back and stop wasting more time.

She slowly moves over to the wall, thinking it will only take her a few seconds to be out of sight
and then she could….

“Ms. Weasley, get up here now.”

She stops dead in her tracks and groans up to the ceiling. “Listen Mister Magic I…”

“That is Minister Shacklebolt to you and…”

“Whatever, how about instead of making me pretend for the fucking greater good, you just owl me
this hunk of metal instead and…”

“Ginbug, this is one of the highest honors a wizard or witch can be granted. Harry would want you
to accept it.” Her father’s hand grasps her shoulder, and kindly pushes her forward.

She doesn’t want to do this.

Ginny was an excellent liar. She lied to herself all the time. She had been lying to herself for close
to a year now almost every single day.

You are fine gingersnap.

You are going to be fine.

She moves under her fathers gentle touch up one stair, then the next, then the next.

An older wizard’s voice she doesn’t recognize is speaking as she moves closer to the large curtain.
“…these members have exemplified bravery, sacrifice and strength. Their accomplishments, and
actions led to this war finally being over. And today we are here to honor them…”

The world on one side of the curtain. The truth on the other.

Kingsley reaches out, and presses down on a crease in the thick fabric. Trying to take away the
imperfection in the veil. Making it as pleasant to the eye as possible.

“Do you enjoy this? Lying to the world?” The words spill out of her, but they make Shacklebastard
pause.

For years she had dreamed of this all finally being over. Of life going back to the way it used to be.

But now she realizes how childish and naive that was for her to think. They had past the time of
that world existing again a long time ago. The old world, those children… they were all dead one
way or another.

“Sometimes Ms. Weasley, what we need is not the truth. Sometimes a lie is the kindest thing we
can offer.”
What a manipulative load of shit that is…

“Our world is fragile right now. Hanging on the cusp of becoming one thing or another, and we
have the responsibility, the platform, to sway it. Would you rather us focus on all of the hard
decisions and mistakes we have made that I know have a hold on many of us who were there? All
issues that would create divide where divide is not needed? We will carry the heavy weight of the
truth for them.”

“Absolute bollocks Mister Magic.”

“Ginevra Weasley!”

She jerks her arm out of her fathers hand, and spins on him.

“No dad! It is true! They are pretty words that are empty! Can’t you hear it? All he is concerned
about is his potential interim being taken away if the governments learned they had been lied to.
Had given their people based off of nothing but empty words like right fucking now! All of this is
empty! Because of the lies, because of the people who are being left out, and everything they gave.
And the damn people being added that have been dead this whole time.”

“What would you have us do Ms. Weasley? Would you prefer me to allow the press to see the
spectacles? To see and share what Ms. Granger went through? Would you rather us admit Mr.
Potter’s untimely death and the secret of his life to keep Voldemort at bay? Would you like us to
try to make sense to all of these naive people who were not there, the intricacies of each one of
these situations? Do you think they will understand? Do you think they honestly want to know? Or
do you think making this all easier to digest is the last sacrifice we can make for them?”

He steps forward as she continues to glare at him. He reaches up and unclips the title holding
badge from his robes.

“If you have better ideas, and want to handle all of this by all means…”

He holds out the large MM pin in front of her. He is mocking her. Showing her subtly how her little
temper tantrum right now, was just that. Just a nothing girl angry about something. She didn’t have
any power. Not against him, and everything he controlled now. At least not yet. Not without them.

But she would kiss her Great Aunt Tessy’s birthmark before she let this bastard treat her like this.

Ginny smirks and she sees the surprise on his face as she grabs the badge out of his hand, and
starts to clip it to her robes.

“Thanks for the offer there Kings, but I am not one for political games. But I will keep this.”

She clips the badge upside down, turning the two M’s into W’s.

Wicked Witch…

Her breath gets stuck in her throat, and the water around her starts to feel more present. More
heavy. More powerful.

Like it always did anytime her mind traveled to Theo.

I need this over with. I need to get back.

She doesn’t give the men time to respond before pushing past them all, and grabbing the curtain
onto the stage.

The noise of the crowd, the lights, the sound of a booming voice being amplified over it all hits her
like a tidal wave.

Screaming.

WAVE

Clapping.

WAVE

Spotlight taking away her vision.

WAVE

A man saying her name, making the screaming louder.

WAVE WAVE WAVE

The water keeps hitting her so hard it is even taking him away. Her anchor. Even touching their
finger isn’t enough to ground her. The world starts moving, and she can feel her body start
swaying.

She is going to hit the bottom. The floor.

She has to find leverage against something with how hard she is being hit.

Making it impossible to feel any control.

Strong hands grab her forearms, and pull her back into a chest. “Gin, just stay up. You got this.
Look down at your shoes. Just stare at your shoes. It helps, trust me.”

Ron moves them both forward, never letting go of her. The crowd sounds far away, but directly on
top of her at the same time. They are louder now with his presence. With the man who had killed
Voldemort finally in view again.

He releases one hold on her, and hesitantly looks out to the crowd and puts on the fakest smile
Ginny has ever seen before, and starts waving out to the people.

He continues to wave and smile as he walks them to the designated area on the stage with the
others accepting the rubbish award.

When she stands over her spot labeled with her name, her brother still doesn’t let go of her
shoulders.

“I got you. I won’t let you fall. Just stare at your shoes. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“Do you stare at your shoes? Is that what gets you through all of these events?” She whispers
while at the same time doing exactly what he told her to do. She notices one is untied.

Teddy…

“Yeah. I can tell you every detail about my shoes, down to the number of stitches, different shades
of colors, and where they are. I try to remember what caused certain scuffs and tears to keep my
mind busy.”

She looks over her shoes and notices a mark as someone casts a voice amplifying spell.

"Thank you for joining us to celebrate these heroes, and the ones no longer with us…"

Her shoes don’t have too many imperfections on them. They are newer. She bought them from the
catalogs Teddy handed her.

At the time, she honestly thought he was joking. He couldn’t have been serious that he would buy
anything she circled.

"... These are only handed out to those who have shown the ultimate forms of bravery…"

Then the 32 owls arrived, and she was the new owner of many pieces of clothing that had been a
joke to circle, including these shoes.

They were ridiculously expensive. Her parents' entire budget for clothing for all of their children
was less than the price tag on just this pair of shoes.

"... The third and secret weapon of the Golden Trio. The man who is responsible for killing
Voldemort, Ronald Weasley…"

"Keep looking at your shoes…" He whispers, and she nods her head as his strong arm lets go, and
she is left to stand alone.

The shoes came in the first owl package. She had been enjoying the warmth, and simple luxury of
a hot, well pressured shower. Something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Smelling all of the
bars of soaps, and bottles shelved on the sides. She picked up the purple one and breathed in. That
one was definitely Hermione's. She picked up the one next to it, and the ferret’s weird minty smell
made her pull away and cough. The last one she smelled. That one had to be Theo’s. It didn’t have
a certain scent really. Nothing she could place a name on rather than clean. Simple. It fit him. She
decided to use that one for herself.

She remembers watching the bubbles slide down her skin, taking away the grime that she tried to
clean as best she could in the safe house shitholes, when she heard a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

A pause.
“Ugh, it… it’s Theo.”

“Okay, come in.”

Another pause.

“But… you are in the shower.”

“Sure am, and it feels fucking amazing. I used your soap by the way. Hope that’s okay.”

“My bar of soap was all over… your skin?”

Oh damn it, she probably shouldn’t have done that. Hermione had already told her about his
aversion to touch, and his boundaries around things.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I should have asked before. I’ll toss this one, and buy you a new one if it
is a problem. Just let me…”

“No! Uh… I mean, no. It isn’t a problem. You can use it if you want, and you aren’t paying for
shit. Not with that save the world salary The Order provides.” She hears a loud thud outside the
door. “I came to let you know an owl delivered your first purchase. It also brought a timetable of
all the other deliveries on their way. If the owls shit in my library, you are cleaning it up.”

She stopped rubbing the soap out of her hair.

“Wait what? Teddy, that… that was a joke. I have clothes. You really didn’t buy me all those
things I circled, did you?”

Ginny could hear his muffled voice, but had trouble putting the words together over the water and
through the wooden door.

“Teddy, open the door. I can’t hear you.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because the last time I was in a similar situation, it ended with someone seeing my arse.”

She snorted.

“I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.” Ginny grimaced at herself as soon as she said it. That
wasn’t normal for her. Yes she and Dean had been shagging for months, but she didn’t flirt with
him. She hadn’t even had the desire to say anything, or even notice another wizard in an admirable
way since Harry.

But the bloke on the other side of the door was fucking fit. She couldn’t stop herself from noticing
him. At first she had categorized him in the same realm as the ferret. Fit, yet a prick and the
enemy.

Then she watched him carefully during the first time they met in person. Watching him care for
Hermione. Taking in the gentle voice, the hesitant actions, the eyes that moved all over her and the
room, trying to solve the problem. Trying to end the confrontation. But it all scared him. She
scared him. That became evident when she had made an attempt for her wand, and he had visibly
shook as she tried.
She realized quickly the bloke wasn’t dangerous. That was easy to see.

And all of the other assumptions about him started falling away quickly one after the other as she
continued to take him in.

“… Mr. Weasley will also be accepting on behalf of Ms. Hermione Granger, who as we all know,
is still battling for her health under the watchful care of St. Mungo healers…”

She reached for the handle, turning the water off, and stepped out of the shower.

“Sorry Teddy, just a joke.”

She heard a noise from the other side of the door as she wrapped a towel around herself.

“Seems like you are full of them. Like I said before, you are going to fit in well here.”

She smiled, and pulled on her worn shirt and holes in the knees trousers before opening the door to
find him still standing there with a large box on the floor in between them.

“I think they are shoes.”

She bent down, and opened the package to see the truly hideous pair of very not her shoes. She
couldn’t stop herself from laughing at the sight.

“What is so funny?”

“Bloody hell, Teddy, I circled these to be funny. Because I didn’t actually think you would take all
that sugar daddy nonsense seriously. Look at them! They are the ugliest things I have ever seen!”

She held the way-too-heavy-to-actually-be shoes in between them, and she watched the side of his
mouth go up into that half smile of his, and she felt her stomach flip at the sight.

Blimey Ginny, stop thinking with your cunt. The man in front of you would not be down to shag for
distraction.

“Well they cost almost as much as my first edition Hogwarts: A History so you better wear them!
That is your own damn fault for circling what you did.”

The other side of his mouth went up as she laughed harder at his statement.

“Oh fuck fine I will wear them! They better be comfier than they look at least. So you seriously
bought everything I circled?”

He nodded his head as she bent down, and pulled the ridiculous shoes onto her feet.

“Yes. Now it makes sense why you circled a 12 item brooch set.”

She laughed again, raising and walking past him to throw her sleeping clothes she borrowed from
Hermione into the pile in the closet. The shoes were far from comfortable. They felt like bricks on
her feet, making a horrible rubbing sound as she walked due to the leather against her skin.

She tried adjusting her heel, and walked across the room again. The sound still happened.
“I sound like a squeak toy.”

Ginny readjusted again as Theo laughed.

“Even better then. No more of you sneaking around and scaring the shit out of me, and drawing
bollocks on my face. I will be able to hear you coming now.”

“Well where is the fun in that Teddy?”

“I don’t enjoy you scaring me Gingersnap.”

He moved in front of her, looking down at her right shoe that seemed to be the culprit of the
horrible noise.

“Oh don’t lie Teddy. We both know you like it.”

The tips of his ears redden, and he wouldn’t look up at her for a moment before lowering to his
knee in front of the shoe.

She pressed down after readjusting once more to hear the damn sound again.

“Well it looks like my favorite new hobby of keeping you on your toes has been ruined by my
own. Maybe Hermione will…”

Her voice cut off as she watched Theo’s hands reach out, and start untying the laces. Ginny
watched his nimble fingers work quickly to untie the strings, making sure not to touch the small
area of bare skin between the top of the shoe and her pant leg. She couldn’t help but become
mesmerized by the movement of his fingers, feeling a very familiar feeling begin to go lower, and
lower within herself.

The feeling only grew when he yanked her shoelaces hard, to tighten the leather to her skin. Her
body jerked and a noise came out of her mouth before she could stop it at the action.

He didn’t seem to notice though. Oblivious to her body’s response to him, as he started tying the
strings together. Full concentration on fixing her problem.

He pulled hard once more, looping them together again before leaning back and staring at the shoe.

It took her an embarrassingly long time to realize he was waiting for her to take a step.

She finally did what he was waiting for, and was surprised to hear no horrible squeak.

Ginny walked across the room, and then back again to see Teddy’s full smile once again splayed
across his face.

“You fixed it!”

He nodded his head and pointed down at the shoe. “That type of leather has to be tight on the skin
to not make a noise. My pirat… uh… I have a few other items made out of similar leather within
my collection, and I have the same problem with them. Just keep them tied tight, and I won’t be
able to hear you coming next time you try to draw surprisingly accurate anatomy on my face.”

He half smiled again at her, and she couldn’t help but return one back.
Merlin’s saggy left tit… I am in trouble…

“… And last but certainly not least, Ginevra Weasley. The Chosen One’s chosen one. Who cut off
the snake's head and…”

Her brother nudges her lightly, and she looks up from the untied shoe. The action raises her to the
surface again. To the waves and crushing water.

She wants to go back down.

Down to a memory rather than the loop that usually was the only place she could go.

The loop that made her blame herself for everything happening now.

She doesn’t know if that is a good sign or not. That she was starting to go to other memories of
him, rather than the one of him dying in her arms.

But she doesn’t care.

This memory made her smile. Made her feel a bit good for a few moments before the
overwhelming sadness kicked back in.

I want to go back to that time with him. Everybody, everything, needs to shut the fuck up, and just..
stop moving, and let me stay in this moment with him.

Just let me stay…

Please, let me stay.

The heavy weight of the award pulls the front of her shirt down as it is attached.

This was all almost over. A couple more minutes and she would be able to get back.

“… Ms. Weasley will also be accepting an Order of Merlin on behalf of the man who gave his
everything for our world. Who gave his life so we all could live. For Harry Potter…”

A box is placed in her hands as the speaker continues to weave a tale of lies about Harry. About
everything that was technically true but not at the same time.

He had killed the final horcrux, himself.

But that hadn’t taken place days ago, that had happened months ago.

He was gone.

Long gone.

But now she is being forced to carry another fucking thing for him.

And it is heavy.
And hard.

She looks back down to her untied shoe.

I’m not doing this anymore… I can’t.

I need to get back.

Ginny turns as her eyes begin to water.

They can’t fall. She can’t add anymore water, she is too close to sinking already.

She needs to get out of here.

Not caring about the rest of the fucking award ceremony, or the yell from her brother, or the
flashes of cameras, or more than likely one of her parents trying to catch up to her.

She starts running faster, skipping the steps and moving towards the exit to apparate.

The sky is becoming different shades of color already. She is late. Later than what they had talked
about.

He better fucking be there… or at least answer his damn galleon this time.

As soon as she is able, she apparates back into the entryway of St. Mungo’s and climbs the stairs
quickly.

She has the place memorized at this point. Knowing exactly the route she needs to go that will
bring her to the deserted waiting room.

Well, what was usually a deserted waiting room.

As she turns around the corner, she sees that some of the press have already made their way here.

“Shit…” She whispers under her breath, and opens the door to a storage closet to hide in before
they see her.

There was no way Malfoy was waiting for her in that room full of people. And she hadn’t seen him
in the hallway.

Ginny pulls out her galleon, and sends a message letting him know where she is.

Her hand goes up to rub the skin of her chest, but it knocks against the piece of metal strapped to
her shirt.

Fuck this…
She pulls forward hard, and doesn’t care as the fabric rips and the honor is taken off of her.

She doesn’t deserve to be honored.

Her honored actions are what placed Theo here, on the fourth floor.

How could she ever be proud of that?

She sticks the piece of metal into her pocket, as the door to the storage room abruptly opens a
crack. She sees nothing, but hears the sound of someone shuffling into the closet, as the door shuts
again.

Malfoy’s signature blonde hair appears as he pulls the cloak off, and gives her a quick nod. “There
are a few already congregating outside the entry doors to her hallway. The fourth floor is probably
going to be a bloody crowd with his body being there.”

She reaches for her cloak, and rips it out of his hands. “I don’t care. I need to be with him.
Especially after what I just had to partake in. The story they are weaving is…”

“Is making your side sound fucking perfect? Yeah I read the paper today.”

She shakes her head in agreement, as she looks up at him. He also looks like shit. His perfect and
stoic demeanor had been chipping away slowly as the hours turned into days.

As Hermione continued to struggle.

“How is she? Did you talk to her at all today?”

Malfoy lets out a yawn he is trying to hold in as he runs his hand over his face. “A bit this evening
after the healers did their rounds. She… she wasn’t scared of me, but she didn’t remember any of
the other times we had talked over the last few days. And still doesn't seem to know what is real.
But, she, she doesn’t seem to hate me.”

Ginny and Malfoy had been living underneath the invisibility cloak over the past five days. Taking
turns going from the second floor to the fourth.

“Are you coming with me or…”

“No. The mind healer I called is meeting to discuss what he found this morning.”

“But we were there for it, Malfoy. You know he said he has never seen a case with as much mind
interference before, and how…”

“I don’t need to be reminded.” His voice is sharp and harsh as he meets her eyes. Other people may
find him intimidating but not her.

Even after Order members went to Dolohov’s home and came back with the stories of what they
had found, he didn’t scare her.

If she was in that position, honestly, she probably would have done the same.

“I just… need to know. Need to know what I can do. What they can possibly do to help her.”

Ginny nods her head in understanding and throws on the cloak. He watches her for a moment,
mouth opening, and then closing again. Contemplating if what he is thinking should be said out
loud. She already knows what is about to come.

“Red, I think you shouldn’t go up there. Not while…”

“I will do whatever the fuck I want prick.”

She pushes past him as he scoffs.

“Fine bitch. Pay attention to your galleon. I should be back soon.”

She salutes him with her middle finger before disappearing under the cloak. The hallways are
much busier than normal. Probably calling in more staff for the press and Order members currently
on their way. She should probably slow down, not be running, being more careful, but she can’t.
The heavy box in her pocket, the loop of mistakes starting to play again in her mind are becoming
too much. Only one thing helped.

Only one thing gave her some semblance of peace, of hope.

The secured fourth floor door finally opens, and she follows a group of healers in. She notices the
time on one of the clocks as she follows them.

She doesn’t have much time.

Ginny moves around the group of healers, and turns the corner but stops.

The hallway is full.

Well, actually one small area in front of one closed door is full.

People are fighting and pushing against one another to try and get the best shot of the famous
name on the door. Indicating whose body was being held in the room until their burial.

Of course this is the only way to get to the room she needs to be in.

She presses herself against the back wall, and moves slowly around the crowd. Past three doors
with names she doesn’t recognize.

Then by two she does. A couple photographers are taking snapshots of the doors marked Katie
Bell and Lee Jordan. Both set to be buried today.

But most of them are not moving from the door marked with his name. Even though he was not
being moved to be buried today.

She should have thanked Ron for that. For demanding that his burial not be a public event.

That moment belongs to the few of us.

He deserves for it to be only the few of us.

And Hermione deserves a chance to be there.

She gives the name of the man she loves a quick glance before moving past it. She has no desire to
stay there anymore.

She turns the corner into a new hallway that is completely deserted. No one is here to take pictures
of his door. No one even knows his name in association to the war and the victory.

Forgotten by all, but her.

She moves in front of the third door and places her hand on the knob. It is shaking already. Wet
with perspiration, as she checks to make sure the hallway is still empty.

Please, Please, Please…

Ginny gulps loudly, and squeezes her eyes shut before turning the doorknob and sliding into the
room quickly.

She presses her back into the door, as she is finally with him, where she belongs.

Finally here again.

Sinking deeper, and deeper.

She lifts her gaze to see the man laying in the bed in the center of the room.

Green eyes still closed.

Half smile gone.

Brown curly waves pushed to the side of his face.

“Hi, Teddy.”

She is so fucking sick of doing this.

Of history repeating itself.

Ginny quickly walks over, and doesn’t hesitate before crawling up into the bed with him.

Her eyes that had been trying to hold in the tears finally burst as she rests her head onto his chest,
and places her hand back into his. Intertwining their fingers.

She presses her ear into his chest, and tries to hold back the sobs wanting to escape her throat.

She has to be able to hear.

Come on, please, please, come on…

BUMBUM…
BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

Thank Merlin…

You are still fighting.

The tears and noises start coming. She doesn’t try to stop them anymore, but does try to keep her
crying softer than what her body naturally wants to unleash.

Because she needs to be able to hear his heart beating.

That noise has to be heard.

She had gone too long without it's reassuring rhythm. Everytime she was forced to leave she was
convinced when she came back the noise would be gone.

It happened before. With Harry. One minute his heart was beating, and then when she was looking
away, distracted by the world around her, it stopped.

She wasn't going to make that mistake again. Not with Theo.

“I missed you.”
She moves her head up to place a quick kiss against his lips before pressing the side of her face
into his chest again, trying to angle it to be able to look at him and be able to hear the best sound in
the world at the same time.

“I have had a shit day Teddy. You and Hermione would be furious over the lies they are spreading
about the way this damn war ended, and about how they are trying to cover things up. I am starting
to question the accuracy of any depictions of previous wars, and even history in general.”

Ginny rubs her fingers up and down his hand in hers. She notices the tray of food to the left. Food
he of course hasn’t touched. His eyes have been closed ever since the battle. Never waking up.
The stupid fucking house elf did the bare minimum to keep him alive, as was his orders from
Theo’s father.

But Ginny knows she should be grateful. Grateful for the nasty creature’s assistance in stopping
the bleeding. For at least keeping him alive until Malfoy showed up and had healers transport him
here.

“So trust me when I say, whatever you paid for your first edition Hogwarts a History was too
much. Probably more of a rip off than these damn shoes.”

She wipes the tears off her face with her free hand, and looks back over to the tray. Noticing the
object that needs to go.

She pulls out her wand and makes the fork disappear.

Just in case he did wake up.

‘It is up to him now.’ Is what the healers continued to say. Not very reassuring words in Ginny's
opinion. Was he dying or healing? The reports were even hard for Malfoy to read. Page after page
after page. The longest patient report she had ever seen.

They tried to take him out of the coma multiple times over the past couple of days, but every time
they did his vitals would shoot up or down to dire levels.

Due to all the damage.

The damage that can be seen all over him now.

She knew it must have been bad, if he always made sure to have a disillusionment charm over his
whole body. The few stories he shared about his horrendous childhood made it understandable
why he chose to do it.

But now, actually seeing it.

Seeing the history of abuse on display…

She was laying in the exact same spot as she is now when the charm had worn off.

Her mind going through the loop of him on the floor bleeding out over, and over again.

Trying to pick it apart.

Trying to find where she could have done more, made a better decision, stopped his body from
getting to the dire place it was in now.

Ginny looked up to say something to him, but gasped loudly at the sight of his face.

Scarred, burned, broken in so many places.

They were everywhere.

Her eyes traveled down, and pulled back the gown. She had to cover her mouth to hold in the
scream as she saw all the ruined, painful looking skin.

It took up most of him.

Most of her sweet, caring, hilarious man.

She is glad now that she had seen it for the first time when he was unconscious. That he hadn’t
witnessed her horrible reaction.

Now looking at him, it only made her eyes water.

Not out of shock, but out of the realization of how in pain Theo always must have been.

No wonder hangovers didn’t seem to affect him. Or cutting off his damn pinky had seemed so
normal.

“I know the healers said it is up to you now. So can you do me a favor Teddy? Can you please
come back? I don’t care how much of you is able to come, just that you are still here with me
okay? That is all I need.”

She tries to shove her wand back into her pocket, but the damn piece of metal is in the way. Ginny
reaches into her pocket and pulls out the award she doesn't care about at all.

“Look what I got today.” She holds it out in front of his closed eyes. Being ridiculous once again.
“Hideous isn’t it? You’d think they would give me something cooler than this for saving the
wizarding world. Like the best broom on the market, or money, or even a years worth supply of
chocolate frogs. All would be better than this eye sore in my opinion.”

She sits up a bit to dig into her other pocket and pull out the box.

Theo and Malfoy wouldn’t be getting one. Not with the way the story was being told.

But the man she is laying on deserves one.

He gave up so many pieces of himself for The Order.

His body.

His safe place.

His comfort.

He kept them all alive on multiple occasions. Had decided to be brave and do whatever was
necessary to save Hermione, even before he knew the girl in the left room was her.

Theo is the real hero of this story.

He is a good man.

No, he is a great man.

She places the box onto his chest and opens the lid.

“This one is yours. You will probably love it though. It is very grand, and made with the purest
materials I believe. Plus they are rare. Did you know they have made less than 100? Out of the
literal millions of wizards and witches in the world, less than 100 have received this honor. So I
think it should be on display on top of the fireplace too with the rest of your most prized
possessions."

She smiles as she imagines the layers upon layers of charms the adorable wizard would place over
the object to protect it. How he would never talk about the personal honor and sacrifice associated
with the award, but would more than likely go off about the process of creation, the history of how
they came to be, and also the people behind such a magnificent artifact.

"I personally think the whole thing is all rubbish. I can think of 100 names just from this war that
deserve the same recognition. And I am sure if you talked to others, you would find that most
people sacrificed in some way or another to keep breathing today. Who are we to pick just a few
names to shove into the spotlight you know? It is all just propaganda shit. Picking the people with
the best stories, and well known names. But what about the other names that aren't well known?
How about the three names on the doors down the hall I didn't know, that no one was taking
pictures of. They gave their entire lives. But because their name isn't Harry Potter, there is no one
standing in front of their doors."

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

Ginny closes her eyes, and sinks deeper and deeper until her entire world is this noise again.
Laying in bed once again with a body. But at least this one was still beating.

She can't leave this place they both are. Just beating. Waiting. Replaying the loop, and hating
herself more and more each time.

"I can't move from this moment with you. I see the things happening around me and I know. I
know they are wrong. I know people expect me to be doing something about it. But I don't have it
in me to be her. I am not her right now. I am not even there. I am not there in the present. I am here.
With your hand in mine, and your heart beating under my ear. No matter where I am forced to go.
This… you… me. I know I will never move past it. So not to play the guilt card, but you better
wake up fucking soon okay?"

She moves to kiss the bottom of his scarred chin when the sound of someone twisting the
doorknob has her raising off of him.

Damn it, the healers are early…

She clumsily tries to place the cloak over her, and falls off the bed onto the floor as the door opens
quickly to show the bleached ferret.

"Bloody hell! Ouch! What the fuck Malfoy? I didn't feel my galleon go off at…"

"The entire staff is distracted by the press and Disorder currently as they move the bodies. No one
is paying attention to the rest of this floor."

Malfoy holds out his hand, and helps her off the floor to sit on the edge of Theo’s bed.

"What did the most expensive mind healer in the wizarding world have to say?"

She moves to curl her body back around his, and joins their hands again as Malfoy sits down in the
chair facing them.
"He is hopeful."

She smiles, as she moves a strand of his hair again.

"You hear that Teddy? The mind healer thinks Hermione is going to be okay. We have been
sneaking into her room too. She is way more hospitable than you though. She at least graces us
with a conversation every now and again. And even shares her pudding, and…"

"Red, why the fuck do you do this?"

"For the same reason you do this with Hermione. Just in case he can hear."

Malfoy scoffs, and creates a diagnostic charm over his best friend's body.

"They have him in a coma. He can't hear anything."

"How do you know that?"

She rubs her finger over his missing piece, and brings his hand up to her mouth to kiss it lightly.

"Does anyone really know what happens when we are that close to death or when we are placed in
a comatose state? What if it is more than just blank in his mind right now? What if he can hear us,
and feel my hand in his? Holding on like he asked me to."

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

"What if he can hear and feel it all? What if these little things, are the actions I can actually fucking
do to help instead of hurt? If there is a possible chance it does, then I am doing it. So place a
silencing charm around yourself if you don't want to hear."

Malfoy doesn't say anything back to her after that. All he does is let out a deep breath and allow his
head to fall back against the chair as he closes his eyes. She does the same. Getting lost in the
rhythmic and consistent sound of her second chance still beating.

There is still so much living for us to do Teddy.

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

"They will be here any minute. We need to move."

She opens her eyes, and nods her head as she raises off of his chest.

Malfoy is grabbing the cloak as she walks over to the corner of the room.
He places it over both of them right before the door opens, and two healers walk in.

"And this is the other new patient you will be taking care of during your next three shifts."

The gasp from the younger healer makes Ginny's hands form into fists at her sides.

He was still one of the most handsome men she has ever seen. Ruined skin and all.

How dare some fucking nobody witch gasp at the sight of her strong wizard.

"What… what happened to him?"

"The poor man has lived a very sad life it seems. Most of what you see is very old. He came in after
the battle with extreme blood loss that caused damage to multiple vital organs. If it had been just
that, he would be awake and possibly even discharged by now. Please replace the meal tray.
Standard procedure for every patient whether conscious or not."

The younger witch floats the old tray to the other healer, while placing the new meal onto the
small table.

"What the…"

"What's wrong?"

"The forks keep disappearing, and I swear every dessert is missing a large part… I sound crazy
don't I? Next they will place me on the second floor."

The two healers laugh, as she feels Malfoy's body tense next to her.

"Many of these old wounds were not healed correctly or fully. The amount of scar tissue on his
joints must have had him in pain every day of his life. But unfortunately, when the curse hit him, it
also caused a lot of these old half healed injuries, to not only become injured again, but even start
to deteriorate. It has been a long and complex process to heal everything. And the poor man goes
into shock every time we take him out of the coma."

The older healer waves her wand and they both look over the diagnostic charm for a few minutes
before speaking. The witch nods her head at the yellow color taking up most of the chart.

"Still not exactly where we would like to see him, but let's try again. His vitals are the best they
have been since he was brought in."

Ginny's hand reaches for Malfoy's next to her before she even thinks about it. They were about to
try and wake him up.

Again.

The only other time she had been present for this had been a loud, and quick, and full of flashing
red lights experience that had left her body shaking for hours after it happened.

The moment convinced her that this may be all she is left with of her Teddy.

A body breathing, beating, but not living. Just because a body is breathing, doesn't make it alive.

It can't happen again.

None of this can happen again.

Please Theo. Please. You are the strongest person I have ever known…

The healer pulls out her wand, and Ginny watches as time starts to slow again as she waves it over
him.

She waits.

And waits.

And waits.

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

But there are no flashing lights.

No loud noises.

There is nothi…

"Sh…it…"

A cool hand is covering her mouth to hold in the sob, and the other hand that had been in hers, lets
go to hold her up as the four letter word leaves his mouth.

His mouth.

Theo’s mouth.

Her Theo’s mouth.

Yesyesyesyesyes!

Thankyouthankyou, dear Merlin thank you.

She wants to run to him. Everything in her starts shaking with the need to touch him, to be with
him. To let him know she is here.

His eyes starts to open, but squeeze shut as they adjust to the bright lights of the room. A coarse,
dry cough follows the broken and raspy curse word that had left his mouth. His chest convulses up
and down with each painful noise, making his eyes squeeze even harder.

One of the witches holds a cup to his mouth, and Theo takes a small sip after the cough breaks.

”Gi…”
He begins to cough again, and the witch offers him another sip.

”Gine…”

Another cough, another sip.

"Ginevra…"

The hand over her mouth presses painfully into her face.

"Mr. Nott, how are you feeling?"

Ginny watches him slowly open his eyes again, and blink a few times. He starts to turn his head
before wincing slightly, and stopping the action.

“Where… am I? What, What happened?”

His voice still doesn’t sound like his. The younger healer tips the rest of the cup of water into his
mouth, and moves to grab the full pitcher off of the small table with the tray of food.

Theo tries to move his head again, but huffs in frustration. The pain seems to make something in
him connect as Ginny sees his eyes open wide, and start moving about the room rapidly. Putting
something together.

"Ginevra, Ginevra Weasley. And...Hermione Granger. And Draco Malfoy. Where are they? Are
they okay? Where am I? What the fuck happened?"

He tries to move his neck again, but the healer closest to the bed reaches out with the purpose of
touching the side of his face to stop his attempts.

Malfoy’s hands tighten around her to hold her back.

No! No! Don't touch him! You have to ask first!

As soon as the foreign and stranger to him skin makes contact he changes. The diagnostic charm
starts to flash in an area, and all of the numbers start going up.

Theo tries to get away from the contact, but his entire body still deep within the healing process
does not allow for it.

"Please, please don't touch me. I… don't like being touched."

The witch seems to put the pieces together as her eyes look over the charm and then down at some
of the most gruesome of scars. Theo notices too and turns his eyes to the skin he can see.

"Shit… my disillusionment… wait, I'm in St. Mungo's aren't I?"

"Yes Mr. Nott, you are. You have been with us for 5 days now. You are currently recovering
from…"

"Is Ginevra Weasley here? Is she okay?"

The younger healer seems to recognize her name as she smiles down at him, and readjusts some of
his covers. Being cautious not to make contact with his body.

"You mean Ginny Weasley? Harry Potter's girlfriend? She isn't here. She actually was just awarded
an Order of Merlin a few hours ago. She didn't suffer from any injuries after the battle, but she did
seem to be grieving from what I saw of the ceremony. Ran off the stage as soon as Harry Potter's
award was placed in her…"

"Hermione Granger? Is she… is she okay? And Draco Malfoy?"

The older healer places vials upon vials in front of him.

"Well Draco Malfoy has been a pain in the arse the last week to all who work here. But he is in
good health. Hermione Granger is currently being treated for mental trauma on the second floor.
She is still in critical condition, but she will live."

Ginny watches Theo's eyes dart back and forth as he is taking in all the information. The older
witch holds up a vial towards his mouth, and Theo looks down over the line in front of him.

"No, this is all wrong. Dupplewood serum has been proven to counteract the helpful benefits of
Dittany. You shouldn't be giving me both at the same time."

Both witches stare down at him, as he tries to nod his head towards the ceiling.

"Also you better not have this same lighting on the second floor where Hermione is. The 17th
rewrite of Healing The Mind With Magic specifically states with proven research that this lighting
can cause severe headaches for patients."

Ginny can't stop the light laugh that escapes between her tears. Unfortunately, Malfoy's hand had
become relaxed against her mouth to the point that the small noise is heard through his hand. Both
of them freeze as the tiny noise escapes their hidden area.

Oh fuck.

Theo blinks, and moves his eyes over to the corner of the room where they are standing, but the
two healers don't seem to notice.

The younger witch lets out a huff as she pours him some water into a cup.

"Great. You are going to be a pain in the arse too aren't you?"

"Mr. Nott, please open your mouth. These potions will help with the pain, and internal healing still
taking place. I honestly am not even sure how you are speaking through it currently."

"I've felt worse."

He does as is asked. Even downing the potion he was against. Never taking his eyes off the corner.

Off of where they are. Did he hear them?

"Can you have Ginevra Weasley come visit me?"

"No Mr. Nott. Only family is allowed to visit."

"She is my family."

The hand over her mouth presses harder just in time.

"Only blood relatives or spouses Mr. Nott."

Theo scoffs as much as he can and rolls his eyes.

"Well that is a shit policy if I ever heard one. The patient should be allowed to choose who can and
cannot visit them. Because family is more than blood. Fuck, my only blood relative is the one who
did all this. So you're telling me he can walk in here, but not my wicked witch?"

The older healer waves her wand, and makes the chart disappear as she tries to hold in her
annoyance horribly.

"Well after you have made a full recovery, sounds like you should apply to work here Mr. Nott.
Since you have so many ideas on how we can do our jobs better."

Try running this whole fucking place witch.

Try changing the face of magical healing.

He will be your boss in four years. He will.

"Can you leave now? I feel okay."

"Yes, we will leave you to rest. If you need help eating, or with anything else, please alert us by the
button on the arm rail. It is great to see you awake and able to speak sir. We will be back in two
hours to check on you again."

The two witches start moving to the door.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Too fucking slowly.

This moment needs to go faster.

But then, as the door shuts, and Malfoy's hand leaves her face, and Theo continues to look over to
their corner, she doesn't move.

She can't move.

I… I don't want to break this.

I'm afraid somehow, if I move I am going to break all of this again.

 And I can't hurt you any…

"Gingersnap, get over here."

The words have everything crashing around her in the best way possible.

Not drowning.

Or sinking.

But finally carrying her forward.

Carrying her towards him.

As he smiles that damn half-smile.

As he doesn't flinch or try to pull back from her hands as they finally make contact with him again.

Not just his body.

Not almost him.

But her Teddy.

Awake, alive.

She doesn't have any control over the noises leaving her, or the tears wetting his blanket as she
presses her head into his chest again.

"You're back. You're really back, with me. I don't… I don't have to carry all of you too." Her
sentence doesn't make any sense, but as she reaches for his hand, and he gently squeezes hers as
she slides their fingers through one another, she knows it doesn't matter. She knows he
understands.

"I promised I would fight for our second chance."

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

BUMBUM…

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Depictions and discussions of gore, death, and abuse.

Embedded art by Dara:

Twitter & Instagram
 Author's Note

Hello everyone,

First off, I want to thank all of you for your continuous support of this story. Every single
comment, kudos, subscription, means the world to me. And I truly appreciate every single one of
you.

I am writing to you all to inform you that PIP will not be updating for at least two weeks.

As some have guessed, this story is heavily personal to me. This includes my Theo. PIP Theo is
heavily based on a real person within my life. And it is with the utmost sorrow and grief that I
share that he passed away this week.

My real Theo was a person who was sweet, kind, thoughtful, and brilliant. He saw people exactly
where they were at and always took the time to join them in the dark or light.

He was an amazing writer. He wrote pain, and suffering, and situations with a raw genuineness that
would leave his words imprinted on my heart. Would roominate in my mind, and find their home
in my soul.

He made a room warmer just by walking in it. His ability to bring comfort to any type of situation
was something I longed to grow within myself. He was forced to walk through a very sad existence
for a long time, and was recently beginning to grow away from his past.

He was going to become something. Something grand. He was. He was special in a way that 26
letters used and formed in different ways will never justify, or make it able for you all to truly
understand.

But the fact that with only the 26 letters that I have, thousands of you have fallen in love with him,
should hopefully make this loss, this… emptiness something understandable.

My Theo was more than a person. He was a world changer. A silent calm force to be reckoned
with. And my heart is very deep within the grief of looking now to a world without him.

I cannot write Theo where I am now. It is still very much too soon for me. I do promise that I will
be finishing this story, but for my own mental health, I have to take a step back for at least a week.
I will continue to update you all.

Thank you for your understanding during this difficult time.

CDLynn
 Hermione
Chapter Notes

Thank you everyone for your kind words and comments over the past month as I gave
myself time to grieve and process. I read every single one of them, and will hold them
close to my heart forever.

Also, one of our readers is celebrating their birthday today! Happy birthday to
elise_samlowski_211 I hope you enjoy this chapter!

PIP has never been just mine. It belongs to every single one of you as well. Every
reader and supporter.

Thank you.

Now… Let’s dive in shall we?

TW!! listed in end notes.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The hands pinning her down into the mattress are not Master’s hands. She knows that. Even
through the overwhelming fear taking over her body, she knows they are not his. They are not
tough like sandpaper against her skin, creating the friction filled contact that she knows by heart to
her dismay. No, for one, there are more than two hands grabbing at her as she continues to scream.

Hands are all over her, pressing her down deeper into the soft material.

A material her body is begging to get out of.

But the hands aren’t listening.

“Stop! Please no! Let me get off! Please let me get off! Draco!”

The fear is confusing her. Hermione can’t pinpoint why exactly she knows, without a shadow of a
doubt, that if she continues to be on this bed, horrible things will happen. Her mind is shaking, and
chaotic, and looking for some form of escape as much as her body is.

“You are safe Ms. Granger. We are trying to help you! Please stop resisting. If you don’t we will
be forced to…”

“Her head is starting to bleed again. Vitals are dropping.”

A strong but soft hand that is pressing into her shoulder, moves up, and pushes down on her neck.

The pain makes her eyes flash with white, and her teeth grind together as she groans and tries to
free her head from all the hands.
The monster’s are winning…

Just let them play with you pet.

Fighting it will only make it last longer.

“ Watch her neck Andrews! The bruising and wounds are fresh and the…”

“It wasn’t on purpose! She won't stop fighting. She is going to hurt herself. I know he wanted her
awake, to tell us what happened, but I think we have no other choice but to…”

“I agree, Healer Frazier if you would…”

She can’t move her arms. Even before she realizes she is awake, she understands her arms have
been restrained.

The pressure against her wrists is familiar, but usually her hands would be bound together above to
the headboard, or up in the air off of the posts of the canopy bed.

He never restrained her hands to her sides.

This is new.

It is also much brighter than normal. She must have done something to please him the night before.
That was the only reason he would ever pull the curtains back on the windows. That is a good sign.
That means he is happy. While his happiness did not always mean his treatment of her would be
easier to handle, it was better odds at least.

Her eyes are still closed as she lays completely still, listening to her surroundings.

Terrified to wake him if he was asleep.

He should be to her right. He always slept on the right side of the bed when he allowed her to sleep
with him.

Not that she wanted to.

Not one part of her wants to be on this mattress where he…

She swallows, and listens carefully for his raspy inhales and exhales. Or the sound of a quill
meeting parchment over to the left where his desk is. Or for the noises of glass clinking against
each other above her head where the line of potions, vials, and other horrendous experiments
usually began.

She waits.

And waits.
Holding her breath the entire time, knowing that if she made it the full extent before needing to
take in air, he more than likely wasn’t here.

She isn’t sure how much time passes before she finally has to take in oxygen, but the room stays
silent the entire time.

Thank Merlin…

The realization that she is alone has the tears streaming down the side of her face within seconds.
The involuntary shaking starts only moments later.

Because she is in his bed. She can feel it.

And she knows what this means, she knows he has a plan. Something in store for her, to do to her.

And she was being forced to wait for the inevitable.

Am I in trouble? Or being rewarded?

She tries to remember what must have happened to create the situation she is in, but as soon as she
pictures his face; everything comes crushing forward.

Images, pictures, actions, and conversations combine, and overpower until she is squeezing her
eyes and pressing her teeth together so hard her jaw cracks.

Flashes of blonde, brown curls, a tooth, vials, potions, being bent over, weight and musk
surrounding her, weight and mint on top of her, pressure, tearing, pain and pleasure inside of her,
marks and mouths, pet, love…

“What the…”

“Is she magically restrained to the…”

“Granger stop!”

Cool hands grab her head, and stop her from shaking it back and forth as hard as she can. Her
cheeks are soaking wet under the contact, and she can’t stop herself from beginning to sob loudly
as the torture begins.

“I don’t feel good Master, my head… Please, my head hurts. I promise I will…”

“Dolohov is dead Hermione. You kil…”

“Not the time Weasley. Granger, nothing is going to happen to you. Help me with the binds. They
fucking strapped her...”

Hands are on her again.

More hands than two again.

Another game pet.

Make them all happy…

She tries to stop herself from sobbing, but nothing in her is able to fight against any reaction. Her
body and mind are both out of control. Everything feels like it is happening all at once, touching
her all at once, thinking and remembering everything all at once. Combining, colliding, and
consuming in a way that leaves her at her own mercies. At her own ruin.

She keeps her eyes closed. She doesn’t want to see what is about to happen to her. Not again.
Maybe they wouldn’t make her watch. Maybe they wouldn’t make her participate. Sometimes they
didn’t. It feels like they had already given her some type of delirious inducing potion.

The pressure against her wrists disappears as she hopes they will just do what they want quickly.

“Granger, listen you are safe, okay? Come back.”

How could that be true? She was in a bed. She was never safe when she was in a bed.

Her thoughts are cut off by arms sliding underneath her body. The arms lift her up, and she can’t
even find the strength to stop her head from falling to the side like dead weight.

“Grab Th… his healing kit. In the front right pocket there are two vials. Pull them out.” The arms
drop her onto a solid surface.

A floor. I am on the floor. The floor is safe. The floor is the safest place I can be…

Something soft is placed under her head, and warmth surrounds her and is tucked up to her neck.

And there are no hands touching her anymore.

Maybe she passed out for all of it. Maybe they drugged her not to remember any of it.

Either way she doesn’t care, as long as it is over. The only thing she cares about is getting her mind
to stop. To have whatever they gave her, quit making her brain so full and yet empty at the same
time. Because it is too much. It is all too much.

A vial is pressed to her lips. And fluid enters her mouth.

“Swallow.”

She does.

Another vial.

Another liquid.
“Swallow.”

She does.

“Can I please stay on the floor?” Hermione can already feel her mind becoming less and quieter
with the comfort of being on a safer surface.

“Yes, yes Granger. No more beds for you. I am so sorry I left. I had to go. I had to get Red’s cloak
and Th… Her vitals are going down already. Fucking idiots. I bet they didn’t listen…”

“Why is this area still flashing?”

“That’s her mind. We have to tell them to keep her off of mattresses…”

“Do you think Theo is out of the procedu…”

“I don’t know Red, but we can’t get in there even with the invisibility cloak…”

The words they are speaking make no sense to her. She wants them to get whatever was about to
happen over with. Because if they are sticking around and talking, they were more than likely not
done with her yet.

“Please, you can do whatever you want, just please knock me out. It… It hurts too much already.”

The voices around her stop, and don’t speak again for a few moments. She flexes her muscles in
preparation to feel hands on her again, taking all over again.

“Did she just ask for you… Does she think…”

“This has happened before. When we first found her. She, she just needs time.” The male voice
doesn’t sound confident. Whatever he is saying, she can hear the doubt as his voice cracks and
becomes breathy.

She thinks she knows that voice. Even in the middle of the ringing, she can feel her body react in a
different way than she expects to one of her monsters.

Maybe he isn't a mon...…

“How are you feeling today Miss?”

Hermione's legs are moving to keep up with the person gently pulling her forward.

Her steps are unsure. Her muscles and bones ache with the ringing pain in her head that increases if
she opens her eyes.

She knows someone just asked her something. She heard the words, but doesn’t have the room
amidst all the pain and discomfort. All of her energy is being used to force herself to take another
breath within the ache. Not put together a response.

The small, gentle hands on her arm slowly rotate her body, and push against her side. Carefully
lowering her into what feels like a large chair.

“There you go. Get you off the floor for a bit. Is the ringing starting again?”

Hermione tries to nod her head, but the action sends an electrifying type of heat down the back of
her neck. She winces and lets out a moan that the person must take as an answer to their question.

“Hmm… We will ask the head Healer about moving your intake from every 6 to every 4 hours
instead. That should help keep the pain at bay. Open your mouth Miss.”

Open your mouth…

Her body stiffens automatically. Bile starts to form in her throat and burn. She jerks out of the
hands saying the words that send every nerve on guard. They must be one of the monsters. They
must be to make her feel this way.

“Oh dear, okay, okay. I am sorry Miss. I will not use those words again. Can you please take the
potions I am placing in your hand whenever you are ready? They will help with the pain.”

A cool smooth object is pressed against her palm. For a moment she pauses. This may be another
game. This may be some horrible new experiment of his. More than likely it was. When did he
ever give her anything to really help her?

I don’t care. I need this all to stop.

She tips the vial, and swallows. She repeats the movement five more times.

“How do you feel now Miss?”

“Less…” The painful ringing is still there. Still burning, but it feels almost pushed back or covered.
Turning it into more of an ache. Making room for more than just the pain. But there is nothing in
the space now. She tries to pull a thought forward, to feel it form and see the images that should
come with it, but those areas of her seem to be pushed back as well. Like that part of her, and the
area to make them a reality, have a huge fracture in between them. Close, but not close enough to
be one again.

The sound of a door opening makes her flinch, and finally venture to open her eyes.

To a room.

Not the room.

And to a man smiling at her.

Not the man.

This one is a bit older. With more grey hair mixed in with his black. Glasses too, that he pushes up
his nose as he walks over to the side of her chair, looking from the floating diagnostic chart, then
back down to the parchment in his hands.

He is wearing healer robes. They are built differently than normal ones. More inner pockets, lighter
material, and spelled against getting in the way of their jobs.

His lips purse together as he looks back up at the diagnostic chart before nodding slightly, and
turning his attention to her.

“It is good to see you awake and aware. How are we feeling today?”

“What is going on?” Her voice cracks, and she coughs slightly as she turns her head to take in more
of the space. Noticing the tray of food to the side, the bare walls, the sterile feeling in the air.

The woman who must have been the one to help her into the chair, reaches for the cup sitting on
the table. “Here, have a drink.”

Hermione watches the healer begin to pick up the cup. She sees the woman pause, and start to peel
off what seems to be a piece of parchment attached.

A note…

The healer gives it a perplexed look as she begins to crumple it into her hand.

“No! Don’t!” Hermione screams, reaching out to stop her from destroying it. For some reason…
For some reason the thought of that piece of paper being destroyed makes her stomach twist.

The healer jumps at her actions. Startled by the volume and determination on Hermione’s face as
she grabs the parchment from her hands. She presses it into her skin, trying to smooth out the
crinkles, and small tears beginning in a few places. She has to protect it.

“Miss, I am pretty sure the kitchen forgot to take the order sheet off of the tray before…”

“No. It… It is more than that. Please, just let me keep it.” She covers the entire sheet with her
hands as she looks up through teary eyes at the healers staring at her with wariness.

The man shakes his head and then takes another step towards her.

“No problem. No one is going to take it from you okay? It is yours. I am William Frazier.” He
pulls a wand out of his robes and accios a chair over. Flashing her another reassuring smile, he sits
down, and flips through the parchment in his hands. “I have a few questions I would like to ask
you. I am also here to answer any questions you may have as well, but we will start with mine if
that is alright with you?”

The other healer holds out the cup of water to her. She takes it and swallows a few sips. Holding
the water in her throat; coating the dry skin at the top of her mouth that her tongue keeps sticking
to.

“Okay.” She says before taking another sip of the water. Trying to make her voice sound like her
own again.
William nods his head and dips his quill into the ink pot. “What is your name?”

Her hand freezes bringing the cup up to her mouth. Is he serious?

What kind of questions are these? Why is he asking me such basic things?

“Hermione Granger.”

He nods his head, and she watches him write something down on the forms.

“Do you know where you are, Ms. Granger?”

“St. Mungo’s.”

His quill meets the parchment again, and scratches against the surface for a few seconds.

“Do you know what day it is?”

Hermione opens her mouth to answer the simple request, but nothing comes out. Because…
Because she has no idea what day it is.

“I… I don’t know.”

He smiles again, and writes. Like what she said wasn’t worrisome at all.

Even when she was in the forests, stuck in a tent, away from all civilization for months, she always
knew what day it was. But as she tries to make sense of time, of recent time, she doesn’t see
anything.

“Do you remember what happened to bring you here Ms. Granger?”

She presses the sheet of parchment she saved into her skin harder, as she rubs her thumb up and
down the familiar texture.

Trying to remember.

Trying to pull forward the events that must have happened to bring her here. She feels them. She
feels the memories there. So many of them, all too close together.

But she can’t get them to come forward. She can’t cross some invisible precipice that keeps them
from being tangible.

Hermione looks up to see Frazier waiting patiently with that damn smile on his face. Looking at
her in a way she hates. With pity. Full of pathetic pity for her inability to think.

“I know it!” She screams, sitting up straighter. Pushing herself to try and bring anything forward. “I
know something… something big happened. I can feel it. It is like when you are trying to think of
a word and…”

“And it is at the tip of your tongue, but you cannot form it into existence?” William finishes her
thought. Acting like he has heard her say this before.
That frustrates her too. The condescending attitude he seems to have with her makes her roll her
eyes.

For some reason he laughs at that, which only serves to piss her off even more.

Her mind seemed to not be working. What in Merlin’s name could be funny about that?

“And there’s the eye roll…” He mumbles under his breath as he continues to write. “Okay. I am
through with my questions for now. Do you have any you would like to ask me?”

“Why can’t I remember anything?”

Instead of answering, he holds out the forms he had been writing on. Hermione takes them and
looks down to see her name, age, and other basic information at the top of the sheet. She skims
down until she starts to read a prognosis. Hers.

Oh my gods…

A finger points down to a section towards the bottom of the page. “What you are experiencing is
actually the opposite of memory loss. It is more of a memory overload that occurs once the potions
wear off. You seem to experience everything at a single time due to all the trauma and damage
done to your mind. The fact that you are an occlumens more than likely saved you from
irreversible damage. We honestly have never seen anything like this before, and are learning
alongside you.”

He slides the first page out and points to another section. It outlines what he was describing. How
the charts would show her mind going into a panic without being sedated by the potion regimen
listed below.

She flips to the next page.

And then the next.

And then the next.

The healer starts to talk again as he points to different areas. Listing off in a sensitive way all of the
things that were apparently wrong with her.

Mental trauma.

Manipulation of memories.

Obliviation.

Seizures.

Attacks.

Scars.

Wounds.
He makes his way through what was done to her. She thinks she should be more surprised by the
mention of sexual trauma. Or the burns. Or the fractured state of her mind, but she isn’t. It is as if
her body already knows all of this. That even without the knowledge, something inside her
remembered and had taken her past the stage of any of this shocking her.

Or maybe that is all the potions making me numb…

Hermione hears his voice change as he stops telling her things, and starts asking again.

Asking things that really don’t make sense.

Questions like who was responsible? Did she remember who did this to her? Are there any names
or images of specific people that keep overwhelming her mind?

Hermione doesn’t answer any of them. Just a short shake of her head.

She knows that isn’t what they want, or what they are hoping for.

And her thoughts are proven correct as she watches the healer’s share a look before William tips
his glasses up his nose again.

“I will let him know she still does not seem to be able to…” He begins to whisper even quieter as
he stands up out of the chair. Cutting off her ability to hear the rest of his sentence. The woman
nods, and he turns back towards her with another smile. “The world is overjoyed with the
discovery that you are still alive Ms. Granger, even though we are all still grieving the loss of
Harry Potter. Discovering that you somehow survived this past year has brought everyone a sense
of belief again.”

“Harry is dead.” The words leaving her are a whisper. Not that she means for them to be. But
somehow the words feel like a secret. Like they should always be whispered if spoken out loud.

“Yes he was killed during the final battle. I apologize. I shouldn’t have mentioned that, but you
seemed to rem… Do you remember any of this Ms. Granger?”

She starts shaking her head even before he finishes. That didn’t sound right. Something…
Something about what he just said doesn’t sound right at all.

“Hmm… Well, we left you some newspapers to help you take in everything that has happened.”
He points over to the floor again, and she sees the small stack he is referring to. A stack that looks
out of sorts. Like they have been gone through before. Possibly many times before.

And it hits her what this all is.

What is actually happening.

“We have had this conversation before haven’t we?”

The healer’s both smile softly at her again. “Yes Ms. Granger. We have. Two times a day for the
past three days.”

Her hands start rubbing her small piece of parchment as she slumps into the chair. She doesn’t
remember any of those events. Not at all. She looks around the room again with this new
knowledge. She must be on the second floor, in the same ward as Neville's parents. Because that is
where they place all the patients with minds that could not be trusted.

If I can't trust my own mind, what can I trust?

“But that is not uncommon in extreme trauma, or brain injury cases, and we are very hopeful, due
to the consistent increase in your awareness, that it is a temporary issue.”

The healer walks over, and places the stack of newspapers on the tray, while pulling out another
one from inside his robes and handing it to her. “Please do not spend too much time reading. Your
mind needs extensive rest if we want to heal it. I will be back this evening, and we can discuss any
other questions you may have.”

“Won’t they be the same ones they have been every other damn time?”

He laughs, and moves the tray closer to the side of her chair. Giving her easier access to the
information and food. She notices her pudding is almost gone. Yet, nothing else has been touched.

“Possibly. But you seem more… yourself this morning. More than any other time. I am hopeful
that this is a sign your body and brain are both starting to heal."

He shoots her another pity filled smile that makes her grimace before he turns to leave.

“I am going to freshen up your room a bit, but I would like you to take this before I leave okay?”
The female healer sets the vial down on the table, and pulls out her wand, changing the linens on
the bed and floor, and moving into the lavatory attached to the room.

Hermione reaches for the oldest newspaper off of the bottom of the stack, to see a large picture of
Voldemort’s dead body taking up the entire front page. She skims over the pages quickly, taking in
the information that should be startling her. The dark wizard was finally dead. Ron had been the
one to kill him. The war was officially declared over. Trials were beginning soon for some of the
arrested Death Eaters, while others were simply being placed in Azkaban, without a public trial.
Alecto Carrow somehow escaped. It was a lot. A lot of world changing information. But yet as she
reads, she feels like the words only support or acknowledge what she already deeply knows. That
they ignite recognition in her, without any explanation to why she feels that way at all.

“Okay Ms. Granger, let’s have you take this potion to help you sleep. Would you like to rest in the
chair or back on… on the floor?”

“Chair.”

The healer nods her head, and hands her the vial that Hermione quickly consumes. She reaches to
give her the empty vial, but the woman points to the scrap of paper she is still holding close to her
chest.

“I can throw that away for you if you would like.”

“No, I want to keep it.” Her eyes are already starting to feel heavier as the healer nods again, and
says something about coming back in a few hours, before shutting the door.

The room is quiet. And still. Almost stagnant in sound and presence, and it makes Hermione feel
alone more than she ever has before.

She doesn’t even have her memories to keep her company.

What happened to me?…

She pulls the small piece of parchment off of her chest, rubbing until it is as smooth as she can
make it. The surface is blank. No message, or order, or anything at all.

Completely void of anything that made it worth keeping.

Just like me…

She flips it over, and begins to internally berate herself for keeping the stupid piece of waste, until a
mark has her pausing.

She notices it is a series of marks now that she is looking closer. Differing in sizes and shapes.
Some are nothing more than a small dot, while others are more like long dashes. And they are all
in a line. Kind of like a sentence. They have structure, purpose. Because the marks are saying
something.

“Real…”

The word has weight that she feels automatically. It creates a sensation within that has her
emotions rising to the surface even in the midst of the potion trying to shut her body down.

This all means something I can feel it. Even if I can’t see it, or fully understand it, I feel it.

Hermione’s senses a tear traveling down the side of her face, as she keeps looking at the note,
when she hears a noise from the other side of her room.

She looks up just in time to see two people appearing from underneath what could only be Harry’s
invisibility cloak.

Two people she recognizes immediately.

“Draco… Ginny?”

“Hey at least she recognizes us this time.” Ginny says as she walks over, and swivels in the chair
next to Hermione. She looks at the tray of food, and picks up the remaining dessert, dipping a
spoon into it. “Damn it, I really do hate vanilla.”

Draco on the other hand has not moved. Her eyes meet his, and she notices his hands keep flexing
at his sides like he is on guard, and acting as if she was something dangerous.

“Why were you both hiding?”

“Because they only allow immediate family in apparently. We take turns between your room and
Teddy’s.”

“Theo.” The name and weight all slips out at once.

Ginny licks the edge of the spoon and smiles at her. “You remember Theo too? He hasn’t woken
up yet and… and they say it is up to him now. So we are just waiting. Waiting fucking sucks.”

No. It isn’t that she remembers him, but once again, it is more like she feels him. Can sense the
pieces of her that he belongs in.

That he means something to her.

Just like how she feels as she watches Ginny use her finger to clean off the sides of the pudding
container. Just like how she feels as she locks her eyes with his grey sparking pools again.

He means something too…

Well Hermione, he has always meant something to you…

“Hi.”

She watches his shoulders relax, and she hears him let out his breath from across the room.

Her neck is starting to struggle to hold her head upright, and she lets her body fall deeper into the
back of the chair. Draco watches for a moment before he starts to walk over, picking up the blanket
off the floor on his way.

“The healer is right by the way, you are much more yourself this morning than other times.” Ginny
says through a mouthful of something from her plate.

“Other times… So I don’t remember you two being here…”

Ginny scoffs, cutting off her sentence. “You aren’t able to remember a lot about all of us yet. But it
has only been a few days. Ferret here says it took longer the first time this happened.”

Hermione is starting to struggle to keep her eyes open. Her eyelids fall to meet for a few moments
before she forces them to raise again. To land directly on Draco Malfoy who is holding out a
blanket towards her.

“May I?”

She nods her head, and he carefully places the blanket around her body. Tucking it into the sides to
keep her as warm as possible.

He crouches down in front of her, and pulls a few stray strands of her hair back behind her ear.
“Glad you are still alive Granger.”

Her smile is broken by the giggle that overtakes her. But why was she laughing? Nothing about
what he said was inherently funny, but as she looks back to see him also smiling up at her, she
thinks maybe this means something too.

Maybe… Maybe she could trust what she was feeling. To help her figure out everything.
She untucks her hand, and shows him the scrap of paper she had saved. The smile on his face
grows as he sees it, and he nods slightly.

“You?” She whispers.

“Yes.”

Her eyes close again, starting to lose the battle to keep them open.

“And the note… the code… it…”

“Real. Yes, it is real Granger.”

The floating chart next to her head starts to flash again. Not that she needs to see it to know that the
word is having an affect on her. The shaking, and heat rising to the surface of her skin is evidence
enough.

“Are you okay Hermione? Would you like me to stop?”

“No, keep going.”

She could handle this. She could do this.

If this world renowned healer believed this experiment would help in giving them an idea of how
to start working towards healing her mind, then she would do what was needed.

Sipping the potion to steady her vitals.

Closing her eyes.

Listening to the words and names, and seeing how her body responded to them.

A baseline as he called it.

To help work through and separate what was real and not within her mind as it continued to
overwhelm her with memories based off of truth, but distorted and mixed into confusion.

“Okay, ready?”

She agrees as she closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath.

“Bed.”

Her fingers tighten around the arms of the chair as her nerves begin to panic. The shaking and the
heat start within seconds. She squeezes her eyelids together as images wrapped in fear press within
the ringing of her brain.

They had lowered her doses to see the natural progress her mind made on it’s own within the last
few days she was at St. Mungo’s.

“Drink Hermione… Statement number 14 resulted in heart rate increase of 58, blood pressure
increase of 29/5, substantial impact. Proof of meaning.”

The charmed quill continues to write as she swallows another sip of the potion. They wait the two
minutes again in silence.

She liked this new healer. He was different from William, Helen, Wendy and the other healers. He
didn’t give her smiles that made her feel small and weak. Or talked in a way that grated against her
skin. He looked at her as a person, and spoke like they were partners within a project.

Like she was an equal instead of someone less, someone crazy.

“Okay, ready?”

She closes her eyes again.

The words swallow, pet, love, master, make him happy, mint, cigarettes, strawberries, tooth, cock,
cunt, silver, chains, and jersey all are labeled with substantial or extreme levels of impact. Proof of
meaning.

While other words he says such as pillow, coffee, foot, sunset, dress, and alcohol are labeled with
little to no impact.

“We are looking to your body for guidance.” He had said as he explained his different approach to
handling healing the mind. “What can your body tell us, even when your mind can’t? I am working
under the belief that we store people and events in more than just our memories. We store them in
our very beings. Important moments and relationships become a part of us in a way. Does that
make sense Hermione?”

She agreed automatically. Over the course of the past few days she had said very similar things to
herself as her body responded to people and situations in clear ways. Even if her mind wasn’t clear
as to why.

“Okay I am going to start on names now…”

Bill Sanders: little to no impact.

Shelly Jamison: little to no impact.

Harry Potter: substantial impact. Proof of meaning.

Ronald Weasley: substantial impact. Proof of meaning.

Dean Thomas: little to no impact.

Bellatrix Lestrange: substantial impact. Proof of meaning.

Antonin Dolohov: extreme levels of impact. Proof of meaning.

Ginevra Weasley: substantial impact. Proof of meaning.

Theodore Nott Jr.: substantial impact. Proof of meaning.

Barty Crouch: little to no impact.

Padma Patil: little to no impact.

Draco Malfoy: extreme levels of impact. Proof of meaning.

Amycus Carrow: substantial impact, Proof of meaning.

Narcissa Malfoy: little to no impact.

Gilderoy Lockhart: little to no impact.

Alecto Carrow: substantial impact. Proof of meaning.

Nancy Steele: little to no impact.

Voldemort: extreme levels of impact. Proof of meaning.

She rolls her face into the soft pillow under her head. Taking in a deep breath of the familiar mint
scent.

A smell that makes sense.

Hermione slowly opens her eyes to see the ugly faded blue tiled flooring. She doesn’t look up yet.

The lights are too much. It didn’t matter whether her eyes were open or shut, the magnitude of the
brightness was overwhelming for her head.

A head that is still pounding with pressure while feeling empty and so confusingly full at the same
time.

She pushes her face into the pillow again. Trying to dissuade some of the fullness she is feeling.
Maybe if she presses on just the right spot hard enough, it’ll all go away. All stop fighting inside
her head. Give her a moment of peace. Room to form an actual thought.

Just one…

Please, just give me enough space to think about, about…

Hermione pulls her face up off of the pillow, and turns her head to look to her right, but flinches.

Because she isn’t alone.

Not on the floor.

He is on the floor with her.

Fast asleep if the small wisp of platinum blonde hair being raised up, floating in his exhale for a
few seconds, before it falls back down to rest against his eye, was to be believed.

“Draco Malfoy.” She whispers.

That name makes sense leaving her mouth too. It shouldn’t though. Why would the name of her
frenemy feel so appropriate in this moment?

His face seems harder than usual even in sleep. Like the lines are tight, and on edge. His porcelain
skin appears paler too if that is possible. She moves her eyes from his face down his body.
Noticing the wand in his hand. Fingers wrapped tightly around it, pointing towards the closed door
of the room.

He looks older somehow. Not really in age per say. But as if his body has been aged with events
rather than time.

Her thoughts are interrupted as she notices the lock of hair stop moving above his face. She looks
up to meet his silver eyes looking straight into her own.

“Granger.” He rolls over and keeps staring at her warily. Like he doesn’t know what to do or how
to really respond. There weren’t many times she found herself in the presence of an unsure Draco
Malfoy. He usually emitted an air of confidence and assuredness that would make her eyes roll. But
now he doesn’t look like him. He looks lost for some reason.

Maybe she was still asleep. Maybe this was a very realistic feeling dream. Not that she would ever
admit it to the man in front of her, but it wouldn’t be the first time she would be dreaming about
him.

Over the years he had crept into her consciousness in many ways. Taking up much more room than
anyone would guess, or that she hoped people realized.

Her secret.

That in a room of classmates, somehow her eyes would always find him. Even when she didn’t
want them to. Even when he was being cruel and nasty to her. Even when she was furious with
him, and kept her distance. For some reason, her eyes always searched for silver. To make sure
they were still there.

And she hated herself for it.

Hated herself every morning she would wake up with memories of those eyes being attached to a
version of Draco that only existed inside her mind.

A combination of her fantasies and little moments between them over the years that she saw worth
in holding onto. That helped her rationalize and believe that they meant something. That they held
more weight to them than some of the horrible memories with him. She would play them on
repeat. Over, and over, and over again sometimes. Until she finally figured out a way to shut off
her brain and fall asleep, and even then, she kept thinking of him.

Maybe that is what is happening now. She can’t think of any other rational reason Draco Malfoy
would be laying next to her on the floor, or why her head would feel the way it does.

“You look different…”

He pauses his stretching to turn towards her. “What do you mean?”

She shrugs, and bends her arms to tuck them in between her head and the pillow. Pulling her thick
hair off of her sweaty neck, as she closes her eyes again. Her head feels better with her eyes closed.

“You look more tired than you usually do in my dreams.”

A pause.

A long pause.

“You dream about me huh?”

Oh damn it…

Why did I say that?

The foul prick doesn’t need his head getting any larger.

She snorts, trying to recover some semblance of pride. “Don’t flatter yourself, Malfoy.”

“I don’t have to, you just did for me.”

Hermione can feel his eyes on her, but she keeps hers closed. Not wanting to see the smile she is
sure he has on his face as she senses her cheeks starting to heat.

“So when did you start dreaming about me, Granger?”

How honest should she be? It’s not like it matters anyways she thinks. Not with this definitely
being a dream.

“Long before I ever wanted to.”

He lets out a small humorless laugh. “Another way we are one in the same.”

They are the softest words he has spoken, but they affect her more than the others. Did he just
admit to dreaming about her as well?

Granger, remember, this is just a dream.

He isn’t real.

Yeah but this is a lot more fun than the pain Hermione.

“So you have dreamt about me too?” She asks as she nuzzles into the crook of her elbow.

“Once or twice.”

“Liar.”

He scoffs. “Which part?”

“The once or twice part. It has been more than that.”

She hears him laugh again, and move closer to her side.

“How many is a reasonable number then?”

“58.”

His breath catches in his throat. And he doesn’t say anything for a while. Did she say something
wrong?

“Granger… Why, that number? Why did you just say that number?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. It was the first number that came to mind.” This was a
weird dream to have. Usually her dreams of him went a different way than this. Although, the
banter seems pretty accurate. “Tell me one of the dreams you had about me.”

Since they started talking, her head felt slightly better. Like her concentration was pulled to him
rather than the ringing that was starting to make her skull ache.

She hears him readjust and move so his arm is grazing her side.

“Remember those tickets I… The Weasel gave you? To that manuscript exhibit in Italy?”

The words sound real, but no images or memories come into her mind.

“I think so. That, feels right. But I am having trouble seeing it. In sixth year correct?”

“Yes in sixth year. I used to dream about… seeing you there. Watching your face and eyes catch on
fire with everything they were taking in. Listening to you tell me things we both realized I also
knew, but listening anyways because witnessing you enjoying knowledge is… well, dream
worthy.”

Hermione feels her cheeks becoming warmer. That was much more intimate than she was
expecting. She is glad he hadn’t asked for one of her recurring dreams. Him teaching her how to
ride a broomstick seemed insufficient at this point.

“There was going to be an entire area dedicated to the making of Hogwarts: A History. I dreamt
you would spend most of the time in that room.”

“It is one of my favorite books.”

“Yes, I know.”

She smiles at the description of the dream. It was a nice dream. Realistic too, but while the tickets
seem real, the actual exhibit does not.

“I didn’t go, did I?”

She hears him let out a long breath. “No you did not. Apparently Potter needed you and the wanker
to stay at Hogwarts, and nobody fucking told me. I thought you were gone. You were supposed to
be gone.”

“Why did that matter? Why did you want me gone?”

He doesn’t answer her.

She opens her eyes and sees him playing with something in his hand. She looks closer and
recognizes the pin immediately. Recognizes the childlike handwriting spelling out the four letters.
The colors she had chosen very meticulously. The damn sharp needle on the back that pricked her
finger more than a dozen times as she placed them forcefully onto her friends' school robes as a
form of activism.
How did he get one of those?

I… I think I gave it to him recently.

“Hermione…” She blinks at the sound of her first name leaving his lips. He never called her by her
first name. Not even in her dreams. The ringing starts to grow again, filling her head with more
than the pain as she meets his gaze. “You aren’t dreaming. This is real.”

For some reason, her eyes begin to water. Because if this was real then… Then she wasn’t okay. If
this was real then her mind wasn’t working right. A feeling that seems way more familiar to her
than she wants to acknowledge.

She knows he is speaking the truth. But she doesn’t want to accept everything that comes with it.
Everything about herself that must be truly broken for this to be her current state.

She tries to remember. She lets herself focus on the ringing. Giving it the attention it seems to
crave, and trying to look around it. To see how she had ended up where she currently was. As soon
as she tries, it all starts coming forward:

Draco, Theo, Dolohov, Ginny, Ron, Voldemort, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne, Harry, Kingsley.

Their faces combine with words and events. With flashes of magic, and the pain of needles. The
taste of putrid experiments, and the taste of burnt chocolate. The feel of forceful taking, and the
feel of endearing intimacy. Of cigarettes burning on her skin, and in her mouth. Of the sound of
screaming, and then of laughter. The act of wrapping a sheet around her neck, and of tossing it on
top of chairs.

Her hands go up to the side of her head and start squeezing. Trying to make it all stop. She needs it
all to stop.

“How? What… It all happened didn't it? It is all happening in my head. Right now. All… all over
again…"

She feels hands grabbing her, and pulling her body into a chest. Arms are wrapping around her and
squeezing her tightly. Her entire body is enveloped in a refreshing coolness that overwhelms her
with security and safety as soon as she breathes him in, and presses her face into his chest.

“Shhh… It’s okay Granger. Don’t try yet. Give yourself more time.”

Draco’s hands start pressing into her back in a pattern of soothing circles. She likes the feeling of
being wrapped up in him. The contact feels like an anchor to here, to him.

“Can you tell me another story?”

“Sure.”

“Can you tell me mine? Do, do you know mine?”

Maybe it would be easier if someone was directing her through all of the moments.

His hands gently rubbing up and down her back stop. “It isn’t a very happy story, Granger.”

She sighs into his chest. “I didn’t think so… But pieces of it are happy right?”
“Yes. Some pieces.”

“The pieces with you. The… moments I feel with you seem happy. Is that real?”

She can see them in the midst of all the chaos and fractures. Little slices of joy, and happiness. And
almost all of them involve him.

He presses his face into the top of her head, and takes in a deep breath. “They are more than real.
They are everything.”

“Does it, do you think it will end happy?”

“It has to.” He says it with a matter of fact tone. Like it is the only outcome that he is giving space
for.

"How Draco?"

“Because the war is over. The Dark Lord is dead, and no one…”

“But the war in me isn’t.”

Who was she if she didn’t have her mind? How could she live the rest of her life in between feeling
empty and overwhelmed? Shut off from any meaning or consumed by it to the point she was
unable to breathe? This wasn’t who she was meant to be. This wasn’t who she wanted to be.

“Then we fight. One battle at a time. You have done it before.”

“I have?”

He nods into the top of her head, and she swears she feels his lips press against her hair. But maybe
she is mistaken.

“Did you help me?”

“I hope I did.”

“It feels like you did. I have a new mind healer who says I should trust the way I feel.”

“I think that is a great idea.”

She needed to hear that. Some reassurance that she could trust something within herself. That she
wasn’t lost, trapped inside this body that didn’t seem like her most of the time. Until he was here,
or Ginny was here. Because… They have been here before. Yes, she knows they have both been
here before.

“I feel that way around Ginny too. Where is she?”

“Theo woke up. He is in a wheelchair due to the healers resetting and fixing some of the repairs to
his father’s abuse he tried healing himself when he was a younger, and was less knowledgeable. So
she is probably accidentally meeting and wheeling him down the halls for some fresh air.”

That makes her smile. The image of the two of them together makes her feel that warm sensation in
the pit of her stomach. Similar to the burning the man holding her makes her feel.

“They helped me too. Didn’t they?”

“Yes they did. And we all will continue to help you. Red is going to Nott’s to get the potion
needed to get your magic back. And I’ll try to find your wand.”

Hermione raises off of his chest to look up at him. His arms allow her to pull away, but they do not
drop from holding onto her waist. They flinch slightly. Like he is battling trying to decide what to
do with them. Whether to keep the contact or not. She wants him to keep it. She is feeling better
than she has in a long time as he surrounds her.

“Did you teach me occlumency?”

He smiles softly and nods.

“Can you… help me remember or learn again? I think it would help if I could control everything.”

“Absolutely.” His hands travel under her crazy hair and pull it off of her neck to give it air. Like he
knows how hot the area always became in her sleep.

Because he knows you.

And you know him.

Even if you can’t remember it all.

“I have to go. The healers will be here for their rounds any minute, and I am sure Red is creating
trouble. But I will be back after and we can start practicing okay?”

She slides out of his lap and agrees, but his hands in her hair, and holding her waist hesitate before
breaking contact. His eyes look down to her lips for a moment too long, and Hermione feels it
impact every nerve of her body. In a different way than what she was becoming used to feeling.

In a good way.

“Okay, stay alive Draco.”

His breath visibly catches again, as he starts to stand. But he doesn’t say anything back to her. Just
turns and sends her a quick wink before disappearing underneath the invisibility cloak.

"I swear ferret, if you drop me, I am going to hex you so bad, you will need one of these rooms
yourself!"

Hermione blinks at the scene in front of her. Having trouble keeping up with all the movement,
voices, and emotions happening.
"Stop squirming, and hold still for fuck sakes. If you fall, it is your own fault. You are even worse
than Granger."

Yes, she realizes seeing Ginny sitting on the shoulder of Draco Malfoy should not, in any world,
really be believable, but it feels right somehow.

"Gingersnap no, every other bulb. Not two in a row. Put that one back. She needs some light."

A twisting noise, followed by a screech, has Hermione squeezing her eyes shut again. The ringing
in her head increases with the noise. The lights were already too much for her without the horrible
sound. But closing them doesn’t really help either. It only makes the inside of her eyelids turn a
static like orange that thumps with the pain.

"Ouch! Bloody hell Malfoy, get your hand out of my arse! I am personally not opposed to arse
play, but you right as hell will not be the first."

"Trust me, it was an accident. Only fair, since Nott’s hands have been all over my witch's arse."

His witch’s…

I don’t like the sound of that.

"Excuse me what? Teddy, you touched her arse?"

"One time! One time, and I hated every second of it. Trust me Gingersnap, yours is better."

Draco scoffs. "No it isn't."

"Okay, congratulations! You both answered correctly! Now drop me gently, ferret.”

The static orange isn’t crawling all over the inside of her eyelids anymore. It is now softer, a less
jarring dullness. Hermione opens her eyes and feels automatic relief. Her face must be showing the
huge impact the lighting has had because Theo nods his head in satisfaction, and pulls his healing
kit off of the back of his wheelchair.

“I’ll talk to Wendy, and make sure they keep the lighting like this. You should probably say
something too when they come in for rounds later. Don’t let them convince you otherwise okay?
The room needs to stay darker to keep your headaches from becoming too much.” He pulls out a
group of vials from a pocket and starts taking the tops off.

Ginny tosses the last bulb into the waste bin in the corner of the room, and moves behind Theo’s
wheelchair looking over Hermione’s notes. “Oh Wendy? So we are on a first name basis with the
young blonde healer, are we?”

Theo hands Hermione a vial, and doesn’t seem to pick up on Ginny’s tone.

“Yeah, she is pretty nice.”

Hermione places the quill and parchment down, and tips the vial back. Ever since Theo started
giving her potions, working through the fragments and panic like state of her mind was becoming
more manageable. They were taking advantage of those small moments of clarity right now.

“How are you feeling? The healers aren’t supposed to be back for another hour if you want to keep
going.” Theo gives her a half smile before pulling out one of his large tomes and placing it on the
empty bed that had become more of a desktop for them all. He flips his head to the side, pushing
his wave of brown curls out of his eye before opening the book towards the back.

The action sparks recognition in her.

She picks up the quill and parchment quickly as images start coming into her mind with the
ringing.

A balcony. The sun warm against her skin as she spins around and around. A pair of scissors.
Humming one of her father’s favorite songs. Theo and Draco coming out. Theo sitting in front of
her laughing. The smell of her mum’s famous hot… no burnt chocolate.

Wait, burnt chocolate?

Why do I want to call it that?

She relays the images as best as she can to the three in front of her. Theo and Draco both seem to be
listening intently while Ginny grabs the pudding cup off of her tray.

“So, real or not real?” She asks.

“Real, but it is at least two separate occurrences combined I believe.”

Theo shakes his head in agreement with Draco, and reaches over to poke his finger at the real
column.

“Yeah the sun and spinning is the first memory. Almost got me killed because I was staring at you
twirling around.” He shoots a look at Draco before turning back to her. “And the other images all
seem to be from when you cut my hair. I need another one sometime soon by the way. After we get
you out of this loony bin.”

Hermione writes down the two memories into the real column of the paper. To help her remember.
She and Draco had been working to strengthen her occluding skills. She was able to start creating
an organizational system again, but the quiet never lasted long before the ringing and chaos started.
That is why she has the list. To help her remember when the memories resurfaced and collided
with what was real, what was combined, and what was not real at all.

The healers still left her newspapers every day to go through, but they made her body respond in
weird ways that she had trouble understanding. After asking the group in front of her why the
stories about Harry made her feel all twisty inside, Theo and Draco agreed she should stop reading
the papers. That the explanation was one they both knew, but was… heavy. Heavier than they
thought she was ready for.

Theo reaches deep into his bag and starts to pull out another large tome.

“Teddy, stop. The healers said no heavy lifting.” Ginny sets down her snack and takes the book out
of his hands, passing it off to Draco.

Theo scoffs as he reaches for Ginny’s hand and interlaces their fingers together.

“That is for normal people. Not people who have almost died a couple of times a year since they
can remember. Trust me, Ginevra, I honestly feel better than I have in a long time.”

Hermione watches his face light up in a different way as he looks at the redhead next to him. It is a
look she understands.

“I love you, don’t I?” As she saw his face change, it hit her. She has said those words to him. She
knows it. Her love for him was like family.

Theo turns his head, and gives her a full grin. “Yeah you do. And I love you too. You know you
are the only person to ever say that to me?”

That can’t be true. That makes her feel wrong inside. Like what he is saying belongs in the not real
category.

“That… That feels wrong.” She whispers. Slowly writing her love for Theo into the real column.

As she thinks of Theo, more things start pressing forward in the ringing. Some images fly by too
fast for her to make sense of, but she catches a few here and there before she has to pull forward
out of the chaos again. She takes a couple deep breaths before dipping her quill into the ink.
Feeling a smile forming on her face at the less heavy, and also surprising, things she was able to
see.

Should I say it?

Come on Hermione, you have to.

We have to know where to put it.

“Did you wank to Ginny in the shower before you met her?”

The humor in Theo’s face disappears, and travels onto Ginny’s as she spits out the pudding onto
the clean bedspread in front of her.

“You did what now?!”

“Evil. Witch.” Theo says without looking up from his book.

The loud laughter from both Ginny and Draco has her joining in. Theo’s ears become redder and
redder in a way that shows her, without a doubt, that the memory goes in the real column.

The steady laugh continuing to leave Draco’s mouth has her mesmerized, and also starts sparking
matching moments she has with the noise.

She shakes her head back and forth at the memory.

One she knows cannot be real.

There is no way.

No way on this wizarding world I know that information about Draco Malfoy.
“Do you have ticklish nipples?”

Draco’s laugh stops abruptly. The room goes silent for a while, before Theo and Ginny both start
laughing uncontrollably again. Theo pushes himself back in his chair so hard, he almost tips
himself, before Ginny catches him in time, while also still holding her stomach.

Draco is now looking at her very unamused. “No.”

“Mate, your nipples are…”

“Shut up Nott. They are not fucking ticklish. That goes in the not real category, Granger. Write it
down now.”

Liar.

But how does she know that?

When would she ever be touching his nipples to know they are ticklish unless…

“The ferret has ticklish nipples! Oh Hermione, I know this memory overload shit isn’t funny, but
damn I am loving learning all of these snake’s secrets.” Ginny says hitting her hand off of the bed
as she tries to breathe.

But Hermione can’t focus on the amusement of the group anymore as her mind begins to
overwhelm her with lots of skin. Bare skin. Against a rock. Staring back at her in a mirror. On top
of her. Behind her as it thunders. Under her. Of musk and mint.

“Have…” She shuts her mouth quickly from asking the question. Because while some of the
memories leave her feeling the good kind of acknowledgment, others leave her wanting to crawl
out of her body. Wanting to get away from the contact and images. This is one of the areas that
continues to cause her the most confusion. Also the most pain. She blinks and a tear falls down off
the bridge of her nose.

A cool hand presses underneath her chin to raise her gaze to his.

“Ask Granger.”

She is scared to ask. It was easier not to know the truth in this area. It was one of the themes of her
story the mind healer said she may never want to remember. But how those areas were the most
important to separate the good from the bad, and to work through with time, when ready.

“I… I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

His face falls for a brief moment, before he plasters on a cold expression. One that shows no
emotion at all. It is too easy for him to do that in her opinion. She had seen that face appearing
more often than not over the past couple of days.

“Okay.” It is all he says as he pulls his hand away, and opens the book.

They are doing their own research into possible ramifications to the injuries done within her brain
by Voldemort and also all of her trauma. Draco had entered her mind and felt the lingering
presence of Voldemort’s magic. They share the same thought with the healers that it could possibly
be extracted. Making the cracks and collisions less inside her.

Theo told her how they did something similar for Draco not too long ago. But he believed since it
was her brain, more research needed to be done before trying anything.

Plus it would give her more time to strengthen her mind again.

But if she wanted to get better, she had to start asking the harder questions. Address some of the
most painful memories that continue to overpower her consciousness, and leave her debilitated.

Work through what was real and not real about the events.

Her thoughts are cut off as the wand on the bed begins to vibrate.

“Fuck, they are coming early.”

The group in front of her start grabbing their belongings hurriedly.

“We all can’t fit under the cloak, what do we…”

“You and Draco go under in the corner. I’ll stay. What are they going to do? Kick me out of St.
Mungo’s like I have been asking them to?” Theo accios the items back into his bag as he speaks,
and pushes against his wheels to move around the bed, closer to her. Draco and Ginny don’t really
have time to argue as the vibrating alarm becomes louder.

Hermione sees Draco’s expensive shoes disappearing right before the door opens.

“Oh!” The tray in Healer Wendy’s hand goes toppling out of her grip as she sees Hermione is not
alone in her room like she is supposed to be.

Theo points his wand, and stops the tray from colliding with the floor just in time. He slowly
maneuvers the items back onto the tray, and into the still stretched out hands of Wendy.

“Mr. Nott, thank you, but actually, no, no you are not supposed to be in here. How did you get in
here?”

She shuts the door behind her quickly, as she fights a, very inappropriate for the moment, smile
that has Hermione’s eyes rolling.

“Wheels. I may be missing a finger, but the other nine still work pretty well.” Theo gives her a half
smile that makes the young healer flush as she moves to place the tray onto the table.

“Yes well, while I was able to get you permission to travel the halls, you cannot be entering
patients' rooms that are restricted. How are we doing today Ms. Granger?”

Hermione doesn’t miss the tone change the woman has as she switches talking from Theo to her.
Although it seems It goes unnoticed by Theo as he doesn’t make eye contact with the healer.

Hermione doesn’t even grace her with an answer she isn’t listening for, and instead, picks up her
new cup and starts to take a drink.

“Maybe if I cause enough trouble, you will release me like I have been asking.”

Wendy laughs way too hard at him. Theo was funny, but his statement did not warrant the ring
inducing squeal the young woman lets out.

“Now why would I want to release my favorite patient?” She throws the old tray into the waste bin,
and moves behind Theo’s wheelchair. “Let’s get you back to your room before anyone sees. Oh
and Ms. Granger, Healer Frazier is on his way with a surprise for you.”
Hermione nods her head, and gives Theo a little wave before his chair is turned, and they start to
leave.

“Wendy, can you make sure her lighting stays like this? I got you the book we were talking about
yesterday that labels these types of environment changes. There are many other areas I have seen
that St. Mungo’s could be improved especially in the…”

The door shuts and cuts off the rest of his sentence.

It isn’t even a full second after the knob clicks before Ginny is throwing off the invisibility cloak in
anger. Glaring at the closed door.

“What a bitch. Did you see that pathetic excuse for flirting? Flirting with my Teddy!”

Ginny starts to stomp towards the door, but Draco grabs her arm and stops her before she can open
it.

“Did you not see Theo being oblivious Red? Calm down. You have nothing to worry about. Give
them a minute.”

Ginny scoffs and yanks her arm out of his hold. “Yeah, like you have any room to talk. I’m going
and stopping this shit before she starts asking him how big his library is. You keep the cloak.”

The redhead gives Hermione a salute before cracking the door, and looking both ways before
slipping out of the room.

Leaving her and Draco alone again. They had been alone many times over the past couple of days.
The lost look that he seemed to wear anytime he wasn’t occluding was growing more desperate.
The lines around his eyes becoming deeper, his hands twitching anytime she started talking. Like
he was afraid of what she would say, while at the same time, looking at her in a way that made her
think he was waiting for her to give him the answers.

Contrary to what he said, she picks up her quill and starts writing his ticklish nipples into the real
column.

“….course you remember that, and not the fact that you lov…”

“What?”

He huffs, and runs his hand through his hair, as she finishes writing. “Nothing. After the healer is
done, do you want to practice occluding or do you need to rest?”

She places the quill back in the pot, and looks over her list. Trying to memorize all the new
moments.

“No, as long as the healer doesn’t have some…”

“Fuck. He’s coming.” Draco disappears again, but trips on the corner of the cloak as he moves to
turn. He falls forward and doesn’t catch himself before he bumps loudly into the wall. Letting out
another curse word, and making her laugh at what looks like nothing as Healer Frazier walks into
the room.

The man freezes and stares at her.

She tries to hold in her humor, but somehow the action of suppressing it, makes her feel the need to
laugh even harder. It is only a matter of seconds before she is giving in and laughing out loud for
what looks like no apparent reason whatsoever.

“What is so funny Ms. Granger?” Frazier moves across the room with a large file in one hand as he
accios for the chair with his other.

“Nothing, just thought of something funny.” The underneath of her one eye is wet from her
laughing, and she wipes it off before smiling up at him. “Wendy said you have a surprise for me?”

Frazier pauses at flipping through the pages of parchment, and pushes his glasses up his nose. “Yes
I do. I think your consistent progress proves you are ready.”

This sounds good. Maybe they would discharge her as well if she could prove to them that it was a
time problem rather than a sanity problem. She doesn’t need to be here. Of this she is sure. The
past few days had proven to her that this wasn’t permanent. That with help, she would put the
pieces of her mind back together. No matter how much it hurt. Or how long it took.

“I think it is time to address a few things with you that we have learned over the past couple of
weeks, Ms. Granger. Some truths about your situation that may help guide you, and us, in possibly
restoring your mind.”

He turns and waves his wand to open the door slightly.

Hermione looks up, not really understanding what exactly is going on, to see a very familiar face
walking into the room.

“Ron…”

He looks tired too. No, worse than tired. More of a full body slump that shows the exhaustion with
every breath in and out. It wasn’t a lack of sleep that made a person look like this. It was a lack of
something else.

But Ron shouldn’t be like this. Not after killing Voldemort.

“Hey ‘Mione.”

The sound of his voice has an effect on her body. It is different than how she expects though. Not
what… what it used to be. It doesn’t feel like the warmth, or the fear, or the burning. Well, maybe
a bit of burning, but closer to agitation? Was that the word for this feeling inside her?

“I, I thought only immediate family could…”

“The Minister of Magic has secured this change in protocol. We thought maybe it would be helpful
to hear this information from someone you know, and are close with. We also thought having
someone who means something to you, as a part of the process, would help create recognition for
you.”

Hermione nods her head as her best friend comes to stand closer to her. He also seems to be
battling what to do, and how to act around her. She hates that. Watching people treat her as if she
was something fragile and unrecognizable.

She shakes her head, and tries to push past the itching, irritating feeling. This was Ron. Ron was
safe. She reaches out with her hand to grab his as she smiles. “You did it Ron.”

He had. The newspapers were filled with stories, events, and pictures of his heroics. Of how he had
defeated the evil wizard when Harry fell. He was always brave, something she had to remind him
of quite a few times in the past. Ever since first year. She saw it. His willingness to give all of
himself for the people he cared about. Her hand almost touches his, but he moves it out of her
reach, staring down at the empty space between them.

“I…” He finally looks up at her and his eyes dart between her own as his lips form a thin line
before he opens them again. “You should know, you are mad at me.”

For some reason, that makes her smile. Being mad at Ron. Now that was a familiar feeling. Maybe
that is why her body is reacting the way it is.

“That sounds about right.” She says as she relaxes back into her chair. “Do you deserve it?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t hesitate to answer. Rubbing his hand through his beard, before glancing back
towards the door as a noise echoes down the hall. “I said some of the worst things I have ever said
to you. Things I didn’t mean to come out the way they did. Worse than 3rd year when I threatened
to kill your fur ball. Worse than after the dance. Worse than the nightmare that was 6th year for the
two of us.”

Her face drops at the seriousness of his tone. Merlin, whatever he had said that she doesn’t
currently remember, must have been bad if it was worse than the shit he pulled 6th year.

“And you haven’t forgiven me yet. I thought you needed to know that before this.”

“Before what?” The noise from the hallway becomes louder as she is speaking, and she looks up to
see three men with large black cameras pressing into the open doorway. “Ron, wha…”

Her voice is cut off as Ron moves in front of her, and kneels to the ground before pulling her into
his chest, and wrapping his arms around her. The agitated feeling grows, and starts turning into
something darker as he squeezes her tighter, and the cameras start to flash.

“This is all to help you ‘Mione. I promise. I am doing this all to help you.” He whispers into the
side of her face, not releasing his strong hold on her.

Then why does this all feel wrong?

She doesn’t say anything, but squeezes her eyes shut as the blinding flashes continue, and make the
pain in her head intensify.

Her arms are crushed in between her body and his, cutting off any possibility for her to fight what
is happening.

“Okay, we gave you the shot. Now get out!” Ron pulls away quickly, and gives the photographers
only a few moments to back out of the doorway before he accios and slams it shut.

He lets out a long breath and stands up. Pressing his fingers into his eyes, rubbing back and forth.

And Hermione is lost.

Healer Frazier who had been silent for the whole scene, accios over a chair for Ron.

“Ms. Granger, some of the things we are about to tell you will be hard to hear. But we are all in
agreement that you are strong enough to start being directed in the recovery of your mind.”

“Directed…”

“Yes directed through what you are struggling to recall. We are here to support you through it. And
if at any time you need us to stop, or need to take a break, please inform us.”

Frazier licks his thumb, and turns the pieces of parchment over until he reaches a certain spot, and
tucks the rest of the sheets behind.

What happened to her. They… They thought they had it? She knows they are working with the
outsourced mind healer, and that they were sharing information, but something about this doesn’t
seem right.

The two men stare at her, waiting for some sign to begin. She gulps loudly, grabs her own sheet of
information she had been compiling, and holds it protectively against her chest.

“Okay.”

Frazier smiles and nods his head at Ron to begin.

“You were taken during the Battle of Hogwarts by Antonin Dolohov due to trying to protect Harry,
Ginny, and Neville. You went… missing for over 6 months. Voldemort kept you to hopefully use
you to infiltrate The Order by possessing you in a similar way as he did with Professor Quirrell.
After 6 months, you were given to another Death Eater, Draco Malfoy.”

Her eyes look over out of reflex, to the corner where she knows he is. Ron pauses and follows her
eyes. His jaw clenches as he stares into the empty corner, looking from her to the area again.

So she spent a good deal of the time with Draco. That makes all the images he seems to be a part of
make more sense to her.

“Hermione…” His hand envelopes hers, and he squeezes it reassuringly. “They… they abused you
mentally, physically, and… and sexually.”

His words hit her.

Actually make her body jump.

Pull away.

It was all wrong. All of what he is saying is wrong.

No. No. Nononono.

Her head begins to shake back and forth rapidly as she tries to pull her hand out of his. Not wanting
anyone or anything to touch her.

Because her body was hers. Her mind was hers. Her… heart was hers. No one controlled those
parts of her. Hell, she was in here because she couldn't seem to control any of them herself.

Her files she has read many times made it clear that horrible things happened to her. But to hear
his… his name attached to them…
“Draco… Draco didn’t, no. He couldn’t.”

“He did ‘Mione. He exploited you and used you to survive the war.”

Frazier places some of her file on top of her own sheet on her lap. He points to the test results.

“We are looking at your body's responses and combining them with the knowledge Mr. Weasley,
and others from The Order have shared. Voldemort, Antonin Dolohov, and Draco Malfoy all create
extreme body responses Ms. Granger. And it appears each of these men used you in horrible ways
that have led to the state of your mind.”

Her hands are beginning to shake in her lap. She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth as she tries to
fight against the water in her eyes trying to escape. All of this feels horrible. Not just wrong. The
fact that she had been abused in so many ways was not new information for her. Yes, she was still
struggling facing the exact memories and asking questions that dealt with those areas, but she knew
it was true. And her body never responded to that knowledge as it is now. As they say his name
combined with such cruelty, such evil, such…

“No. Not… Draco. He didn’t, no he helps me. He isn’t one of my monsters.”

Ron sits back in his chair, and tilts his head to the ceiling as he closes his eyes. Healer Frazier
begins to write on some other form as he nods his head slightly.

“Your mind shows proof of heavy manipulation Ms. Granger, you know this. We cannot trust what
it shows you.”

“It isn’t my mind!” She sits up, ready to fight. Because this wasn’t right. Her body didn’t respond
in the same way to the three of them. Draco’s name, and presence, makes her feel a way no one
else ever has. It is intense, and consuming, and possessive in the best way possible. Nothing about
him scared her. Not even the parts that maybe should. “It’s not the same. I don’t feel terrified, I feel
on fire. In a good way. In the best way.”

She tries to stand up. Wanting to pace. To get away from what they were trying to say was real.
But hands are holding her down again. Trying to fucking control her again.

I am getting sick of this…

“Ms. Granger please listen. Yes, your body’s responses are valuable, but… with the manipulation
and degree of isolation he placed you in, over time, that can affect your perception of him. As we
believe was his wanted outcome.”

She is pushing against the hands now. Wishing she had her magic and her wand to fight with.
Because if what they are saying is true…

Then I am crazy…

Then I belong here.

There is nothing about myself I can trust.

Her eyes travel to the corner again. Knowing he is there. Was he here to make sure she still had
false trust in him? Was he manipulating her even now?

The ringing starts to take over her mind again. Making the pain unbearable as she screams against
the hands all over her.

“No! No! It isn’t true. It can’t be true. Tell me it isn’t true Draco, please, please!”

She feels magic against her wrists, making them impossible to move from the arms of the chair.

“Don’t restrain her!” Draco’s anger filled voice fills the room, and she opens her eyes to see him
throwing off the invisibility cloak with his wand raised in her direction.

If he is her enemy, one of her monsters, shouldn’t that make fear course through her body?
Shouldn’t the sight of him send her nerves and blood into a panic state like hearing the names of
the other two men do?

“I told you he was sneaking in here! Aurors!!”

The world begins to get fuzzy, and seems to start moving in slow motion.

As the door flies open. As magic lights up the room. As so many people, and noise, and brightness
fill every space inside her until it becomes unbearable. Too much to process.

As Draco is bound. Falling to the floor. Screaming in frustration and rage that makes her teeth
grind together.

She is yelling things too. Things that don’t really make any sense to her. Doing anything to stop
this. Stop all this wrong from continuing to happen in front of her.

Because they are taking him. Arresting him. Because of her.

“Granger listen to me. Trust yourself! Trust that brilliant mind and heart of yours! It was real! All
of it is real! I love you! I lo…”

His voice is cut off.

And then a door is shutting.

Taking him away from her.

Again.

Again.

Again.

This has happened before… My other monsters took him away from me before…

Tears are wetting her entire face as she feels hands cradle her cheeks.

“Ron please. This is wrong. Believe me, I know deep down that something is wrong about all of
this!”
His thumbs rub up and down her skin as he nods his head, and wipes off his own tears on his
shoulder.

“I know Hermione. There is so much wrong about all of this. But we are going to work it out okay?
All this brokenness, I… we are going to put it all back together. I promise. No matter how long it
takes.”

The noises leaving her do not sound human. The skin under his touch is trembling.

A potion is pushed into her mouth, and the cold liquid travels down her throat before she can
process to fight it.

And the world starts getting quieter.

She looks up into Ron’s blue eyes. “You are doing the same thing they did. The same… exact…
thing… as… the… monsters…”

The room is dark now. It must be night. It is also empty. It has been empty for a while. Just her,
alone with her mind. For the first time she can remember, she is actually truly alone.

Because they took him.

They took everything.

She doesn’t know what to do now. Without him. Without her magic. Without her wand. Being held
captive by people trying to force something into her that feels wrong on every single level.

It isn’t true.

It can’t be.

She has been up. Staring at the ceiling for who knows how long. Trying to figure out a way to gain
some control over this situation. To take the power out of everyone else’s hands and place it back
into her own.

It was her life after all.

Her mind.

Her body.

Her heart.

And what they tell her doesn’t make any sense when she puts all the pieces she has collected and
felt together.
 The pieces of Theo.

The pieces of Ginny.

The pieces of the other snakes.

The pieces of… Draco.

They don’t know the whole story, but they are using what they do have to create something.

For some reason.

Her door opens, and she hears him before she sees him. Hears the wheels of his chair meeting the
surface of the floor.

“They took him.”

She nods her head as he wheels next to the chair she is still strapped to. Since every time they tried
to let her arms go free, she started attacking anyone and everyone. Trying to escape. He waves his
wand, and the pressure against her bruised wrists disappears.

Theo breathes out heavily. “Do you believe me when I say they set him up?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because… I just know.”

Neither of them say anything for a while.

“Well, are you ready to fight evil witch? Hopefully for the last fucking time?”

She looks up and meets his eyes. “Absolutely.”

His half smile takes over his face, and he pulls out a vial. One that looks different than the others.
She takes it, and watches as he sits up and coughs into his hand to clear his throat dramatically like
he is about to give the performance of his life.

“Well then, let me tell you the story about Hermione Jean Granger, The Gryffindor Princess, The
Golden Girl, The Brightest Witch of Our Age, my favorite member of the Golden Trio.” He bops
her on the nose with his finger, as she rests her head onto his shoulder. “And how she saved the
world, and fell in love with a prick who isn’t a brunette.”

Chapter End Notes

Discussions and depictions of panic attacks, and abuse.

 Ron
Chapter Notes

Surprise again. Yes, you have to read it. No, I am not providing a summary. We will
get through this together. (P.S. This is one of my favorite chapters in the story)

Trigger Warnings listed in end notes.

If you do enjoy music while reading, the following songs I listened to on repeat as I
wrote and looked for inspiration for this chapter:

- Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin

- La La Land by Adam Jensen
- Will It Ever Be the Same by Young Summer
- Between the Wars be Allman Brown

All of these songs can be found on the PIP spotify playlist that is linked in the
beginning notes of chapter one.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘The Weasley Warrior and Broken Girl Reunite.’

An exclusive sighting of the recovering third member of the Golden Trio, Hermione Granger, as
she continues to battle for her sanity. She and our war hero, Ronald Weasley, reunited with a
warm embrace that was all this reporter needed, to see that the plain but ambitious girl continues
to have a taste for famous wizards.

It has been released that Miss. Granger’s ailments center around manipulation of her mind by a
vast amount of interference.

“She is finally safe now.” Voldemort slayer, Ronald Weasley, said to reporters before he was
given exclusive access to see the once Golden Girl. “And I know that she will overcome everything
that was done to her.”

The specifics of Miss. Granger’s participation within The Order, and how exactly she came to the
state she is currently in, are still unknown.

“We want to focus on moving forward.” Said interim Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt
when asked about the details behind Miss. Granger’s injuries. “That is what she would want as
well. Miss. Granger and Mr. Potter had very big plans for the future of the wizarding world; ones
that I know they would want us to work towards, rather than dwelling on things that cannot be
changed.”

The embrace between Mr. Weasley and Miss. Granger quickly turned into a more private moment
between the two young heroes. Right after this shot was taken, hands started…

Ron rips the front page of the newspaper in half. Watching it split down the center; most of his
body on one side, and the small amount of hers that can be seen, on the other. The fracture causes
the moving image of the two of them to finally fucking stop.

He throws it to the ground, and grabs at the side of his head as her screaming becomes louder
again.

More screaming. Different screaming.

The Final Battle had added to his inventory of her screams that now played in a loop within his
head.

Monster!

Monster!

“FUCK!” He turns and smashes his fists into the brick wall next to him. Pressing his head into the
cold, rough surface. Feeling his brain start to tell him to stop, to pull back, before his skin split.

They had somehow twisted it anyway. Even without doing what they wanted him to do, they had
somehow turned the article into a focus on her personal life, rather than her recovery. Rather than
focusing on… him, and what he did to her. There was no mention of the prick anywhere.

Not one.

That is not what I agreed to.

“Mr. Weasley, they are ready for you.”

Ron turns around and leans against the wall. “Give me a minute.”

The random person gives him a slight nod before exiting through the door.

Leaving him alone.

All alone.

Like always.

It never stopped; this feeling of invisibility, of inadequacy, of missing.

He thought it would. He thought with the war over. With him finally doing something for once of
value, that the feeling would go away.

The emptiness inside him would be filled…

He slips his hand into his back pocket, and feels the scratchy material.

Do it for her.
All of this, is for her.

Fuck, I want a drink…

Ron opens the door, and the sound of the crowd screaming becomes louder as soon as he walks
into view.

Because he is the hero.

Somehow, being one of the only members of The Order to actually intentionally kill someone, led
to him being placed on a pedestal. For a group that seemed to pride themselves on doing the right
thing no matter the cost, he was getting a lot of glory for doing something that was fueled by anger
and rage that he meant wholeheartedly. Not a very pretty thing in Ron’s opinion. It was weird
having one of his darkest moments be what people valued him for.

The man on the stage shaking hands with a group of people, gives him a double look before his
fake as hell smile drops at the sight of him.

“Mr. Weasley, your forehead…” The man looks behind Ron, and makes a couple of gestures that
have a group of females surrounding him with wands raised to his face. “We cannot have you
looking like this for the photo shoot.”

He can feel the area that must have either been sliced, or heavily bruised due to pushing it against
the wall, start to dissipate.

Making her screams increase.

Ron lets out a wince, and closes his eyes as the image of her disappearing in the arms of Marcus
Flint appears with the horrible noise.

“Sorry Mr. Weasley, so sorry, I know it stings. Do you need to hold my hand?”

A hand is running down the side of his arm.

Bloody fucking hell…

He yanks out of her touch, and backs up as he opens his eyes. “I’m cheeky. Thanks.”

The woman tries to hide the hurt expression, but Ron doesn’t fucking care. He was getting sick of
occurrences like this.

Only for a little bit longer… You have to get her back first. Then you can stop all this nonsense.

The group of people start forming together in front of the cameras. Hands are pushing his back,
and placing his shoes over the red X on the floor.
Lots of hands have been trying to move him in many different ways. And he let them. He let them
push him here. Shove him over there. Ron welcomed the assistance. The direction. Any direction.
Anyone willing to come stand by him, and point him in a new way. Because maybe this time, the
direction would lead him back.

Back before all the lies.

All the screaming.

All the death.

When it used to be easy.

Nothing was easy anymore.

“Uhm… Mr… Mr. Weasley, can I hold that while we take the photos?”

Ron blinks, and looks down at his hands that are wrapped around her blue knit hat.

He must have pulled it out of his back pocket without realizing. He tended to do that in these
uncomfortable situations. Not on purpose. And anytime he did, he was always yelled at or
instructed to put it away.

“No, but I’ll make sure it can't be seen.”

He twists the scratchy material between his two hands once more before letting out a deep sigh,
and placing it into his back pocket.

Putting her out of sight.

Putting anything that wasn’t pretty in his back pocket.

Bottling up all the anger over the article, over how Hermione was doing, over the lies about Harry,
over the lies about bloody everything….

“Okay, smile for the camera! And Mr. Weasley, lift up your one hand in a victory gesture… no…
not so stiff… And please raise your eyes from your shoes we need… Mr. Weasley, are you in
pain?”

Yes. Yes I am. Every second of this charade is painful.

I want a drink…

Merlin, does he want a bottle to open, and feel everything around him become less heavy, less
important. Giving him the ability to let go just enough to make breathing, and going easier.

“Sorry…” He didn’t want to do this unless absolutely necessary. Padma reminded him constantly
that a potion addiction was something his recently sober arse would be susceptible to.

But if he was going to make it through this photo shoot, and through the events he had the rest of
this day, he needed some help. He slips out the calming draught, and swallows the contents.
He knows people are looking at him. Probably not agreeing with his actions. But if they knew, or
experienced, or did everything he has had to do, they would be doing the same damn thing. Or
worse.

Her screaming becomes manageable again. She isn’t calling him a monster anymore. Or maybe
she is, but it was quiet enough to ignore.

The shoot lasts another 15 minutes before they are satisfied they have the right look for the
upcoming memorial service being planned for those who lost loved ones.

So everybody would be there.

Ron doesn’t stick around to talk to the crowd who is there to see him. He doesn’t look up from his
shoes as he sees quills with papers, brooms, and blimey awful pictures of him from his last year
playing Quidditch.

The ‘I love yous,’ the ‘You’re my hero,’ the ‘Weasley Warrior,’ and other more creative things
being yelled in his direction go in one ear and out the other. He doesn’t have room for those empty
words. Not with the screaming.

He apparates away as quickly as possible, to the outside of the inn he and the others are staying at.

That has been one nice thing about the war ending. Not having to hide anymore. Being able to
walk, and go to actual establishments again. And having a real room, with a lavatory all to himself.

A luxury he has never really had before. Not with all the siblings he used to have. But one he has
decided to never give up.

He opens the door to see Neville and Padma waiting in one of the lounges in the entryway.

Merlin’s saggy left tit…

Before he even thinks the whole thought, Padma has the chart up, looking for signs of alcohol of
any kind.

“Pads I’m clean. Stop hovering.”

She scoffs and breaks the chart as he walks by the pair. “You mean to say your welcome for
clearing out this lobby of your adoring, skirt raising, obsessed bimbos.”

His feet falter, and he rubs at the back of his neck as he turns around. He should have noticed the
absence of high pitched squealing.

“Sorry. Thanks.”

"If I had one more of them touch my bottom asking how long…" Neville flushes and shakes his
head, before looking Ron up and down a few times. "You seem angry."

He lets out a humorless laugh, as he runs his hand through his beard, shaking his head. "I'm always
angry."

"Angrier than normal… Did something happen? With…" Padma's voice breaks for a moment.
"With Hermione?"

"You mean rather than her hating me, and calling me a monster? No, nothing new."

He had walked into that room full of hope days ago. That she would be back to the old her. Holding
on to the thought that she possibly realized she couldn't trust her own mind after everything the
reports showed.

It was so obvious to him. It was obvious to most of them now. Even the ones who seemed to be
coming around to the prick, had taken a step back when they saw the mess that was her mind. And
all the magical tampering that was evident.

And the magical signatures that could be picked out within the shattered, splintered mess.

Ginny Weasley, they all knew what her magic was responsible for.

Voldemort and Dolohov, they had witnessed first hand his abuse.

And Draco fucking Malfoy.

It was the last thing Ron needed to be sure.

He turns, and starts down the stairs to deal with one of the issues making his blood boil.

"Wait Ron, where are you going? Kingsley said…"

He doesn't stop at the warning. He takes the stairs three at a time. Feeling his face getting hotter
even with the potion.

The Aurors stationed at the door straighten as he comes into sight. They don't stop him as he opens
the door, and barges into one of the most powerful men in the wizarding world's office.

Being famous does have its perks….

"...Need to handle the Dark Magic within those buildings first. So we can reinstate government
officials where they bel…"

"You lied to me!" Ron slams his hands onto the top of the desk in between him and the Minister of
Magic.

Kingsley, Aberforth, and a few other political officials stare at him.

Kingsley's face goes blank of all emotion to Ron's outburst as he tilts his head to the group of
people. They take the gesture, quickly pulling their things together, and exit the room.

Leaving Ron alone with the man. Ever since he came back to the safe house after saying… those
horrible things to Hermione, and trying to reenter Nott's property for over 2 hours, he had spent a
lot of time with Kingsley and Aberforth.

Because they were in agreement with him.

They believed him.

He had walked past the wards and charms of the safe house, and fell to the ground. Screaming,
crying, shaking all over.

Angry.

Angry at everything and everyone.

Including himself.

When the bloody hell would he learn to stop saying things that he didn't mean?

He had hurt her with his words so many times throughout the years.

But this time.

This time felt different.

It felt unforgivable.

It wasn’t her that he thought was broken, but her mind. That is what he had meant. That she wasn’t
seeing what was being done to her. How the ferret was… using her, and convincing her she
enjoyed it. Ron couldn’t stand there and listen, and witness it any longer. Watching her fight and
scream was almost easier than watching her throw herself into the fucker.

But he had let his anger get the better of him, again. He had said things to hurt her, again. He threw
everything at her and onto her like any of what was happening to her was her fault.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t deserve his anger.

But someone did.

Aberforth found him in the yard, and brought him to Kingsley. To tell them what had happened,
what he had seen, and what he believed. When he was done recounting some of the worst days of
his life since seeing Harry lying dead on the floor, and hearing that Hermione was missing, the two
men conversed in quiet right in front of him. Quiet enough that he couldn’t hear. They gave him
water and food to help sober him up. Something he told himself right then and there as he threw up
onto the floor, that he would never go through again.

For her.

Because she is all I have left.

He had to be of sound mind.

One of them had to be.

Kingsley had looked Ron over before informing him he was of the same belief that the
presentation Malfoy was placing before them did not add up.

Ron almost started crying again. To have someone finally be on his side. To see what he was
seeing. To not be alone in everything. It was overwhelming.
What was even more overwhelming was what Kingsley shared with him next. Telling Ron what he
had seen during the Battle of Hogwarts that was proof Draco Malfoy could not be trusted when it
came to the safety or care of Hermione Granger.

The information made his skin sweat. Made his body feel like it was about to burst with everything
he was being forced to hold inside.

He knew it.

He knew the prick had been following them during the battle.

Just like always, he had seen it.

“But whether that is true or not Mr. Weasley, we cannot take her away from him at this time.”

Ron looked up as he wiped his mouth clean. “What do you mean? You just admitted that you
know he is lying and using her and us! We already let her be used once, we can’t do it again.”

“Their positions give us the opening we need to end this war. We cannot throw that away for one
person.”

One person.

She was more than one blimey person.

She was the person.

The only one he had left.

How was he supposed to go along with this charade? Watch her think that the ferret… He closed
his eyes and started rubbing his sweaty palms into the top of his legs that were bouncing up and
down off of the floor.

He had to do something.

He had to.

I want a dr… No, fuck, no. No more drinking.

“I understand it is a very hard position for you Mr. Weasley. But as I believe you, I ask you to
believe me when I say, we will hold him responsible for his crimes against Miss. Granger.” The
large man stood up, and came around the table to lean against it in front of him, offering him
another glass of water. “But I will need your agreement to cooperate and participate in the ways we
deem necessary to create that outcome.”

“I will do anything.”

The corner of Kingsley’s mouth raised slightly.

“Good. For now all we need of you is to be reliable. I view you as a man who is capable of making
his own decisions Mr. Weasley. So I have not found it within my place to raise the issue before
now, but if you are to be reliable, we will need you to stop drinking.”
Ron dropped his head. He knew everyone was aware. Hermione wasn’t lying when she had called
him an awful drunk. He wasn’t like Harry. All stoic and quiet. And thank Merlin he was nothing
like Hermione. Always one look away from doing something he knew she would never do or show
if she was sober.

For Ron, his emotions always came to the surface when he was drunk. Fast, and unhindered by a
conscience that sometimes made him think twice.

He felt it all.

Festering deep inside him. Things he bottled up.

Drinking made it easier to open the bottle, and make other people swallow the contents. Put it on
them. Allowed him the freedom to let go without any consideration.

And it felt good.

Merlin, it always felt so damn good in the moment.

Almost like the high of an orgasm in his opinion.

All the muscles in his body would tighten with the anger spilling out of him, and then relax as it
was all let out. Relief so sudden and overwhelming that the first, long breath in afterwards made it
all worthwhile.

Just that one moment, lasting only an inhale, was what he craved.

Was why he did all of this.

But as soon as it was gone, and the world gave breaths for the reactions to his words, it no longer
felt good.

He always felt sick.

A hollowness that entered into his stomach, starting to both regret, and crave all over again.

It was a consuming feeling.

To regret and crave at the same time.

Both in battle constantly with one another. Trying to grab hold of every opportunity and emotion to
help place one over the other.

To have him let go in a direction.

Neither were good for him. He knew that. He wasn’t stupid. But as ‘Mione always used to say, the
pros outweighed the cons sometimes. Or more like the pros sounded much more appealing than
the cons.

But he had to get sober if he was going to hold up to his end of their bargain. He wasn’t who he
used to be either. She was right when she said that. He was empty inside. Had been empty since the
moment he lost them both. Taking his worth with them. Taking everything he wanted for his life
with them.

But maybe he could get a piece back, of the way things used to be.
Hermione.

He couldn’t fail her. Not again.

He had failed her too many times before, and just when he thought he had finally started doing
something right with the two of them, she was taken. And now, no longer remembered.

“No more drinking.” He shook his head in agreement, and looked up from the ground. “What do
you need me to do?”

It turned out, not much.

The first week or two he honestly was no help to anyone. The days were all a blur of twisting pain
in his gut, headaches, and feeling cold no matter how many blankets Padma or his mum placed on
him, or how many warming charms were casted.

He found himself glad Hermione had no idea how bad he got while working through the
withdrawal.

And by the time he was able to see her again before the presentation at Hogwarts, the worst of his
symptoms were over.

He had been doing well too. Feeling more hopeful than he had in a long time that maybe the life he
had dreamed of could still happen in some way.

That was until he saw her, and him.

Together.

Touching her.

Never stopping some form of contact.

Standing behind her, and placing that damn shield charm that only he was allowed within.

Like he owned her.

Ron had fought and fought to make sure she didn’t come with them, and surprisingly, the ferret
had been in agreement with him. That is, until the last minute when he informed them all that she
would be coming.

Ron hadn’t had the urge to drink in a while, but as soon as he saw the bastard’s hand touch her bare
skin, he wanted to raid the weird bloke’s rooms for alcohol of any kind.

After the presentation, he sat in front of the two men again and rehashed everything.

Adding his own sister to the list of people being used by the snakes. Begging the men to force both
women to stay in the safe house unless Hermione needed to be with Malfoy to continue with the
cover.

“Taking her away from him would not be wise at this time.”

“Why the fuck not?!” He tossed the sword onto the ground in his anger. A sword still coated in
areas with his sister’s blood. His loud heaves could still be heard over the clattering of the metal on
the floor. He bent over, and placed his hands on his knees as her screaming in his head made it
unbearable to be awake. To have his eyes open to a world that didn’t have to live with her
screaming all the time.

He kept breathing in and out, creating a pattern with her intakes between screams in his head.

Fuck, I want a drink. I need a drink. Just one. Just a small one. It won’t even count as an actual
drink with how small it will be. One gulp, that’s it. That’s all I need to muffle you out ‘Mione.
That’s all I need.

I need.

I need.

I need.

“I have been told you are very good at chess…”

Ron scoffed. What did that have to do with anything going on? His sister was in the hands of some
bloke who claimed to have a touching problem, yet seemed all too eager to rip her fucking shirt
off. And ‘Mione was basically half naked and in the hands of…

“Is that the only quality people know about me?” He slumped back into the chair and sank his
fingers into his temples. Maybe his sister had a bottle stashed in her old room. Maybe his mum
stopped locking the cabinet in the kitchen. Maybe he could talk Neville into looking the other way.

“No but it is an attribute you hold that shows a lot about how your mind works. In a way similar to
my own. I believe I was the one who held the Gryffindor record, until you.” The houses competed
with everything. Even chess. And while Ravenclaw seemed to win most years, Ron had beat the
previously held record for their house. He hadn’t realized who he had beat.

Kingsley sat forward in his chair, and placed his folded hands onto the tabletop. “My point being is
that when you focus on a goal, on an outcome you want, you have the ability to think intricately
how to get there. How, just like chess, a game such as the one we are currently having to play, is
best to maneuver with the end goal in mind. To think clearly and act slowly. To protect valuable
pieces of information as we would our key pawns. Act rashly, without a plan, and you lose the
outcome you were working for.”

Kingsley toppled over a container holding a set of quills to get his point across. Ron understood
what he meant. He understood taking Hermione away from Malfoy would possibly make the ferret
desperate. Lead him to act rashly. And more than likely, Hermione would pay the price.

He was right. They had to play Malfoy’s game against him. And that meant waiting.

Ron let out a sigh, and nodded his head in agreement.

“Good. Now onto other business…” Kingsley righted the container and gestured to the side where
Aberforth was standing with a bag of floo powder. The older wizard placed the bag into Ron’s lap,
along with a stack of parchment. “You and I will be speaking to all the organizations that need a bit
more faith in the cause. While we have written down the account of the success of this mission,
hearing it first hand from the hero himself will be more impactful.”

Ron looked down and read the first page of the parchment, and his mouth dropped. “You can’t call
her this. I agreed to go along with the bollocks Harry stories, but this is too far Kingsley.”

Broken.

That had been the word he had said that seemed to hurt her the most. The one he wished he was
able to take back the most. He could still see her face falling in a way he had never witnessed
before. Watching that word do something to her on the inside. Something he never wanted to be
responsible for.

She was his best friend.

He loved her.

He truly did.

Then why is she always the one you hurt the most?

“It is the exact word you used to describe her multiple times Mr. Weasley. It is accurate. Broken
things can be mended. It is not a word said without hope.”

He had argued back and forth with the men, as if he actually had any power to stop them from
calling her that in these letters to all the associations aiding The Order.

He couldn’t stop them. No one could. And showing a divided Order would not help make groups
want to join them. They had to be united if they wanted support. If they wanted to win. If he
wanted to get her back as soon as possible.

Every time Kingsley said the word in reference to her throughout their days-long excursion to all
the organizations, Ron couldn’t help but grimace.

Kingsley assured him it was just a word. A description that could be given without having to share
all of the details about what Hermione had, and was still going through.

But a part of Ron was convinced; watching The Order member lie through his teeth about Harry,
about funds, about Hermione, about who the bloody hell knew what else, that he was playing a
different game than the one Ron was playing.

And this morning, when he saw the title of the article, read what they had made her out to be, he
knew who was responsible once a-fucking-gain. And he was sick of it. He was done with watching
people use her. Even The Order. The living threat of Malfoy was behind bars finally. Away from
hurting her anymore. It was time they all protected her, in any way they could.

“Lied about what exactly Mr. Weasley?”

Ron notices the corner of a paper sticking out from a stack of forms to the side of the Minister’s
desk. He pulls it out and averts his eyes as he sees the image of him and Hermione start to move.
He throws the paper in the space between them, and jabs his finger down onto it.

“This is not what we discussed. This was not what I agreed to be a part of!”

Kingsley looks down, and watches the moving image of the two of them go through the loop twice
before he speaks. “It seems to me you did not fulfill your side of the agreement either.”
“I already told you to fuck off with that idea! You knew I wasn’t going to kiss her like you all
wanted!”

Not again… I made that mistake once already.

“The agreement Mr. Weasley, was for your benefit. I believe if we take a look at who received
what, it is clear that I upheld my end of the deal more fully then you did.”

Ron can’t help the scoff that leaves his mouth. The article was supposed to redeem her, not destroy
her. How was she supposed to ever gain credibility back when all they fucking called her was that
horrible new nickname?

“What? You disagree? You wanted access to see Miss. Granger. And did I not work it out, taking
quite a bit of time and political favors might I add, for you to do just that? You are able to see her
now whenever you would like.” Kingsley leans back in his chair, bringing the newspaper with him
and holding it up.

“All I asked for in return was cooperation for one photo of the two of you. Of a scene that would
give the world something to lose themselves in. Something good to focus on. And what do you do?
Not only do you show as little affection as possible, but you also strategically cover her entire body
with your own. Hiding her from the cameras. All we see is the side of her face and her hair.” With
his last words, Kingsley throws the paper down onto the desktop loudly, making Ron jump.

Bloody hell, he didn’t think he made it look that obvious. Ron had tried to make the hug seem
legitimate while also trying to protect her from what he knew was about to happen.

He even responded with no comment to every slightly salacious question the soddy reporter threw
his way. He would give them nothing to work with.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I hugged her. I thought that would be the most
appropriate form of affection after everything she has been through. Not that any of that or him was
included in the article.”

A small knock on the door has him shutting his mouth. Kingsley’s secretary walks in with a stack
of small boxes that are all identical within her hands. She places them on the floor beside his desk.
Ron notices there are a couple other identical boxes already there.

“What is all that about?” He points to the small towers.

“Just tying up loose ends.” Kingsley raises his wand and places a piece of fabric over the stacks.
“But Mr. Weasley, we both know you are smarter than that. I know it was on purpose. I also know
that you realize what I said in the article serves a purpose as well. You and I are both in agreement
that what has been happening to Miss. Granger since the Battle of Hogwarts should not be made
public knowledge. If we want that to continue to be the case, we need to cover it with something
else. Not a lie per say, but a distraction. A turning in a different direction if you will. A direction
that focuses on her future rather than her past.”

“Oh yeah? And what kind of future is she going to have labeled the ‘Broken Girl?’”

“One that doesn’t label her a raped, beaten, destroyed woman.”

He says it without even hesitating or blinking. Like the descriptions of the truth have no effect on
him. But they affect Ron. They affect the screaming.

He presses his eyes shut, and leans forward, bracing himself against the desk.

Fuck, I want a drink…

Ron understands the need to protect the information about what happened to Hermione. He wants
to do that as well. Protect her from some of the most personal and hard moments of her life, from
becoming the latest gossip. Having people forever look at her differently. She wouldn't want that.
Hermione always hated the newspapers and reporters. Going as far as to place Rita in a jar when
she went too personal.

But he does want Malfoy to be exposed. He wants his actions, every single one of them, to be listed
for people to see who he truly was. But for some reason, Kingsley didn’t seem to want to do that
either. He seemed to want to give as little attention to the situation as possible. Similar, but also
different from how he was handling Harry, and all the lies they had to keep up with when it came
to him, and his death. He had basically written Harry into the Last Battle, placing what actually
happened months ago, into the more recent altercation.

Ron hated it all. Honestly struggled to keep up with what was true and not anymore. It was all so
twisted with broken truths that he was becoming lost.

“No more articles. No more of that name for her. Nothing else until she comes back.” Ron stares at
Kingsley. Trying to make it obvious in his facial expression how serious he was about these
stipulations. “I’ll keep making all the appearances you need. I will shake hands, sign brooms,
whatever shit you want, but she stays out of it all.”

It was weird finally having power. Finally having something that made people listen to him. To
regard him in a different way. It was another perk of the fame that he found himself thankful for.
He was no longer the third pointless member of the Golden Trio.

“She may never come back Mr. Weasley, but I am willing to agree for the time being.” Kingsley
reaches for the stack of forms off to the side of his desk, and picks up a quill out of the container.
“The private trial for Mr. Malfoy has been scheduled 2 days from now. You will be giving your
testimony first.”

Ron lets out a breath, and nods his head as he sinks into one of the chairs in front of the desk. “And
you are sure we have enough? Even with her still believing that he… cares about her?”

“Between your testimony and my own, plus the medical reports, he will be convicted. The trial is
just for show at this point. For the creation of a paperwork trail so no one can claim unfair
treatment in the years to come. Please have the…”

The Minister’s voice is cut off by a loud noise coming from above them. Both men look up at the
sound of multiple pairs of stomping feet, and the loud voices that follow them.

Kingsley continues to look confused, while Ron rolls his eyes and covers his face with his hand as
he recognizes the voices.
You had one job mum and dad…

The door swings open, and smashes off of the wall as his sister comes storming into the room. Ron
doesn’t have time to react in any way before she is pointing her wand at him, and he is flying
backwards. The back of his head, hitting something hard before he falls to the ground.

“It’s not even noon, and I have already had two enraged Weasley’s barging into my offi…”

“Shut it Mister Magic!” She turns her wand to the man behind the desk as her chest rises and falls
harshly.

Ron shakes his head a few times before trying to rise, but his sister stops him from moving by
training her wand back towards him.

Behind her, his parents come into view within the open door. Out of breath as much as Ginny is.

“Ron what the fuck are you doing?! Why are you doing this? You are making everything worse!”
She pulls out a copy of the paper, and throws it down onto the ground in between them. “He isn’t
guilty, and she isn’t broken! How could you say that about her again after…”

“I didn’t say it!” Ron tries to stand up, but his sister’s expression changes to the one that guarantees
pain. He stops on his knees, placing his palms in the air. Trying to stop her from the Bat Bogey
Hex that was more than likely coming his way soon.

“I think the medical reports prove both of your statements incorrect Ms. Weasley. There is proof
that Mr. Malfoy magically manipulated her mind and…”

“Of course there is! Because you bastards made him! Made him implant the false memory of the
battle so Voldemort would give him more time!”

Ginny turns her wand back to Kingsley. She really wasn’t rash enough to actually attack the
Minister of Magic was she? Kingsley seems to be contemplating the same question as his eyes go
from her wand to her face.

“His magical signature was found to be present, and one of the largest, Ms. Weasley. And with the
other knowledge we are aware of, it only makes sense…”

"Then you better arrest me too! Since I was the one who bloody obliviated her in the first place!"

She sticks her wand into her hair that is tied up into a bun, and holds out her wrists to Kingsley
first, and then back to their parents, and then over to him.

"Ginbug, it is not the same…" Their father starts to try to pull her back, but she jerks out of his
grasp, and keeps holding out her hands.

"You don't know the whole story Gin! You don't!" She hadn’t seen everything he had seen. She
doesn’t know everything he knows. But he wants her to understand. Because he was tired of the
people he cared about looking at him the way they were.

"None of us do! None of us will ever know every detail, but I do know them. I know Theo and
Malfoy love Hermione. I have seen it, Ron. It is real. It is not some manipulation he created. And if
you all don’t stop whatever the bloody hell you are trying to accomplish by destroying them, I
promise you..." She turns and makes glaring eye contact with every person in the room. “I will tell
the truth about Harry. I will never stop speaking against all the lies. I will be relentless with the
press, with the people, with anyone who will fucking listen for the rest of my damn life.”

Ron closes his eyes at her threat.

Blimey Gin… You shouldn’t have said that…

She just started a very dangerous game. The room is silent for a while. Even his parents don’t
seem to know what to say or do. All Ron can hear is the light sound of a thumb tapping the top of a
wooden desk. Calculating.

“That would be a very unwise move Miss. Weasley.” The sound of a chair being pushed back has
Ron opening his eyes to see the large man towering over his sister. But of course she doesn’t step
back. No, that would make too much sense for his mental sister. Instead she stands straighter and
leans back as she raises her chin, making it seem like she isn’t looking up at him at all.

“Do you know that when Mr. Malfoy is found guilty, and when Miss. Granger is able to recount
and tell us exactly what happened this last year, Mr. Nott Jr. could possibly be placed under trial as
well…”

The corners of Ginny’s mouth drop slightly. Her chest starts to redden as she fights to not react to
Kingsley’s statement.

“There are already so many questions about his participation in the abuse of Miss. Granger, and of
course the memory we still have of him willingly beating her. Yes, all very… damning don’t you
think?”

She tries to hide it, but Ron sees her hands start to shake before she balls them into fists at her
side. Her lips purse together as her eyes dart between the man in front of her.

Nott’s role within this was one of the most confusing parts for Ron as well. The hardest part to
make sense of. Because unlike Malfoy, Ron had never even noticed the odd bloke before waking
up in his home. He had no idea who he truly was except for the version he portrayed himself to be
over these past couple months.

Then add the fact that it seemed his sister had moved on from Dean and was now shagging him,
and Ron’s head felt like exploding when trying to make it all make sense.

But his participation could be worked out later. It wasn’t as time sensitive and detrimental as
convicting Malfoy.

Especially with his parents now in agreement with him and Kingsley.

It is their job to protect her.

He has enough on his hands trying to get Hermione back.

Their mum reaches out, and grabs Ginny’s arm again as her father tilts his head to the Minister
before turning to his daughter.

"Let the Wizengamot and the healers handle this sweetheart. Until then, you will be staying with
us."

Ginny seems to come back to herself at his words.

"Wait what? No. No, Teddy is being released today. I have to be there to take him back to his
rooms, and help him with…"

“You will be doing no such thing Ginevra Molly Weasley. I was never on board with you staying
with a young man who is a stranger to our family.” Their mother says as she searches for her wand
while also trying to subdue his sister.

Both of his parents are now trying to pull her out of the room, but she fights against their hands,
trying to escape them.

“He isn’t a stranger. He is a good man! Dad, you know. You like Teddy, remember?”

Their dad lets out a huff as he looks over to his wife who is staring back at him sternly as she
finally succeeds at pulling out her wand. He meets eyes with Kingsley who nods his head as he
starts to walk back behind his desk.

"Ginbug, there is a high possibility if Draco Malfoy is found guilty, that Theodore will be arrested
too. I am surprised as well my dear. But the medical reports are… eye opening. And also the issue
of what Kingsley saw during the…"

The Minister raises his hand to stop his father from sharing that information. It was obvious that
Ginny could not be trusted with it at this time. Just like Hermione wasn’t ready to hear it either.

His sister keeps resisting his parents. Yelling, pulling, screaming. Ron has enough screaming
already in his head. He doesn’t need to add his family's into the mix. He has plenty of nightmares
of his siblings' deaths for those.

“Aurors if you would…” The men stationed outside the Minister’s office come and start pushing
his family, who is still fighting to control Ginny, out of the room.

The door shuts, and Ron finally stands and brushes off the front of his trousers as Kingsley sighs
loudly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Your sister continues to be a problem. Add handling her to
our agreement, or I will myself.”

Ron knew this was coming. Ginny always was a loose canon. She had been similar at the
beginning when she learned they had to pretend that Harry was still alive to keep Voldemort at bay,
and also to gain support. It had taken many, many talks with his parents about the greater good to
convince her not to make the truth behind Harry’s condition obvious every time he was
mentioned.

“I’ll talk to her…”

Kingsley nods his head, and turns back to his paperwork.

Ron is already later than he wants to be as he leaves the room to find an empty and quiet hall. He
prefers to visit her without the healers interrupting them. Not that they ever really interrupted
anything. The last few times she had refused to say one word to him, let alone even look at him.
And all the other times she had spat at him, called him a monster, and other horrible things.

But he wasn’t going to stop showing up.

Leave her alone.

Not now.

He promised.

Not when she needs him the most.

He apparates outside the healing center, and walks into the building. All voices in the lobby stop
for a moment as they see him. Then the room explodes with noise and people moving closer to
him.

Fuck, I want a drink…

He had realized there were some situations he could get out of, and others it was easier to walk
through. Appeasing as many people as possible, as quickly as he could. This situation is definitely
the ladder.

Ron takes a deep breath in, and then goes through the charade the people want. He signs booklets,
and poses for a few photos. All the while slowly moving towards the front desk so he can get
access to the second floor.

It isn’t until he feels something press against his cheek, that he falters, and pulls away from the
crowd. He is sure they probably think he is being rude as he shrugs their hands off of him, but he
doesn’t care as he makes it to the desk, and is secured into the second floor.

The healer opens the lift, and Ron plasters himself to the back wall. Watching as security tries to
stop the mass of people from joining him on the lift.

Two almost break through as the doors meet in the middle.

It gives him a few moments to catch his breath. To make himself as solid and steadfast as possible
for her before he steps into the room.

What memories should he talk about today? He had been doing that every time he visited. Telling
her all kinds of stories from their days back at Hogwarts. Only the good ones though. The easy
ones that make him feel lighter as he relives them. Wishing to go back. To get to those people
again.

He walks down the hall, and to her door.

Don’t get angry at her. No matter what she calls you, or says, or doesn’t say. Don’t get angry with
her.

He opens the door, and sees her where she always is. In the chair. Her arms are resting directly on
top of the cushioned arms, making him believe that she must have gotten aggressive with one of the
healers again, and was restrained.
“Promise not to lay into me again if I break them?”

She doesn’t answer him. Her eyes stay trained looking out the window to the right of her. Staring at
the cloud filled sky as he waves his wand and releases her from the binding magic.

He pulls up a chair and sits down across from her. She looks good today. Her eyes are wide and
aware. Her skin has the shade of color that makes her seem more alive. Maybe today will be the
day she comes back.

Hermione raises her arms slowly off of the arms of the chair, and rubs at her wrists. Ron watches
as she finally looks towards him.

“Thank you.”

He chokes on his breath at the simple appreciation. Because she is interacting with him. Not
fighting, or screaming, or being silent.

And that is not normal.

“Uh, yeah, of course. How has your day been?”

For some reason the corner of her mouth raises into a very unlike Hermione smirk. She points over
to the side of his face.

“Not as good as your day it seems.”

Ron doesn’t understand what she means. His confusion must be showing on his face because she
sits up, and moves her hand forward to poke his cheek.

Her finger presses into his skin, and she starts to pull back.

“You missed.” He whispers.

“What?”

He reaches out, and brings her outstretched finger up to his nose to press against it. The action
sparks recollection in both of them. Of all the times she woke up Harry and him with the gesture. It
used to annoy Ron to no end. Swotting her hand away, and yelling at her to leave him be. They
both knew his annoyance was what made her do it even more. Making it a tradition.

Hermione’s eyes widen, and her face becomes a bit softer in a way he hasn’t seen in a long time.

Maybe today is the day.

Maybe today is the day I get you back.

“I wasn’t going for your nose this time. You have lipstick all over your cheek.” She pokes the spot
again.

“Bloody hell…” He groans in frustration as he wipes at the spot with the back of his hand. One of
those mental women must have kissed him. That was what he had felt against his cheek earlier.
Maybe he should take Kingsley up on the offer to have an Auror stationed with him.
His thoughts are cut off as he notices Hermione smiling at him.

At him.

She is smiling at him again.

And…

And now she is lightly laughing at him.

Damn, this feels better than drinking.

Making you laugh feels right.

“You are… No Ronald, it is now smearing… Oh come here.” She pushes onto the edge of the
chair, and licks her thumb before pressing it against the side of his cheek.

Still smiling.

Still smiling at him.

"So who's the girl with the obnoxious lip color?"

He shrugs. "No clue."

She laughs, and turns his head to the side to inspect his cheek. "Wow, don't even learn their names?
You really are basking in the fame aren't you?"

"Merlin no, I didn't mean it like that. A group of people started badgering me in the lobby. I felt
something against my cheek, but didn't even know what it was. Turns out some bloody woman
must have kissed me."

"Unexpected kisses can be shocking can't they?"

His eyes dart up to meet hers that are swimming with amusement instead of anger or disgust.

"Funny." He says.

She giggles, and sits back in her chair, playing with one of the curls of her hair. Twisting it around
her finger. Watching him in a way that he is very familiar with. She's looking at him like he is
something to be solved.

“You do remember you are mad at me, right?”

Hermione lets out a sigh, and reaches over to clean her finger on the flannel of her meal tray. Ron
notices that there is also a copy of today’s Daily Prophet on the table, and his stomach sinks.

“Yes, I know I am mad at you. I remember.”

She says it calmly, which makes no sense to him. Hermione was never like this when she was
angry. They were similar with how they expressed their anger. Both choosing to do it outwardly.
Him with his words. And her with her hands.
"You aren't acting mad at me anymore. You are talking. And you haven't hit me once."

She sighs again, and looks back out the window. "Being angry all the time is exhausting. Isn't it?"

He grunts and recalls thinking the same thing earlier as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.
Seeing the dark purple bags under his eyes. His skin so ashen. He wasn't drinking but he still
looked like shit. All the photos were using glamours to cover it all up. And it was a lot to cover.

“Do you remember why?”

She nods her head and looks over to watch the moving image of them on the front page. “You said
some of the most horrible things anyone has ever said to me, Ron. And the worst part is, you
continue to prove you believe them.”

Monster. Monster. Monster. Monster.

He starts shaking his head. “No, no ‘Mione. I don’t believe most of them. It all came out wrong. I
don’t think who you are is broken. I am so sorry. I don’t know if you remember, but I have
apologized before, and I know that isn’t enough, but I have been doing everything I can to make all
this shit right and…”

“But you don’t believe me.”

He squeezes his eyes shut as he falls back into his chair. Merlin, he does not want to get into all
this right now. Especially today of all days. When she seems to be willing to talk, and is reminding
him of how they used to be.

"Let's not talk about all that yet. Do you want me to go see if I can get you some tea? How do you
take it?"

He starts to stand up, but she stops him as she reaches down next to her chair, and picks up the bag
that he had carried around for over half a year.

As soon as he sees it, his hand drifts into his back pocket. To the one item he had stolen from the
bag before he stormed out of Nott Manor.

Well technically, she sorta stole it from me first.

"I want to talk about it Ron. I want to understand before I…" Her voice cuts off as she opens the
top, and starts looking inside. "You were my best friend…"

Ron thumps back down into the chair as he feels the bile start to burn his throat.

Were.

Used to be.

Back before.
"Please don't say ‘were’ 'Mione, please. We can still get that all back."

"Get what all back?"

"Us. You. Me. No, I don’t believe that Malfoy cares for you. I don’t believe in the version of him
you have been made to believe in. But I do believe in you. I do believe you can come back."

It keeps him going, this belief. It is what keeps him from drinking if he is honest. It is what makes
him get out of the cot or bed every morning. It is what helps him plaster a smile on his face for the
events.

The belief that it wasn’t too late. That even though he could never get Harry back. Never live life
without a war looming over their heads with one of the most important people in his life, he can
still do that with Hermione.

He doesn’t have to continue to breathe, and feel empty inside for the rest of his life.

“You are not asking me to come back. You are asking me to go back.” She says as he averts his
eyes that start to become watery as she is speaking. “And Ron, you have to know by now, after
everything, that we can’t go back anymore. Those people… It doesn’t exist. It isn’t real.”

He pushes the chair to the ground as he stands up abruptly, and turns away from her. That can’t be
true. It can’t be. Because if it is, then he didn’t win. There was no chance for victory anymore. All
he gave up, all he fought for, was taken with each hard decision they had been forced to make. That
their reason for fighting was destroyed by the end.

“This can’t be it…” He says between gritted teeth as her screaming starts to take over his mind
moving in so many different directions.

He tries to stop his thoughts from going there. To the dark place that was only sedated by the
addiction. But her words push him. Make him start to think about his current reality. How empty it
was. How empty he was. How alone he was.

He used to envy the attention Harry and Hermione received from others. Wondering what it was
about him that made him so forgettable. So hard to see.

His parents barely saw him as he grew up. Not with all the large personalities that made up the
Weasley family.

His teachers barely saw him. And what they did see was usually attention turned his way due to a
screw up.

His peers barely saw him. It was always Harry or Hermione first with his name attached at the end.
Like an afterthought.

But now he was living what he thought he always wanted. Everyone was looking his way.
Everyone was saying his name.

And he has never felt more alone in his life.

It is empty; their affection, and love, and attention. They aren’t seeing him, but the actions he was
responsible for.

They loved him for what he did, not who he was. And he was much bigger than that one moment.
Honestly, that one moment went against everything Ron really wanted to be. He never wanted to be
a murderer. He never wanted to be the one who killed Voldemort.

But now that will forever be what his name is associated with. No matter what else he
accomplishes in his life, nothing will top that in the public eye. In the people he is surrounded by
all the time.

Is this it then? Is this what living is going to feel like for me?

Fuck, I need a drink…

It doesn’t feel like living. The past couple weeks have felt empty in meaning. Just hollow breaths in
and out. And that is all they will be if what she is saying is true.

“I don’t know how to live anymore. Breathing…Breathing isn’t enough.” He tries to stop the tears,
but they come anyway. He feels her hand on his shoulder turning him towards her, and he
instinctively wraps his arms around her, and pulls her into him. “We can still get some of it back
‘Mione. Not with… Harry. But with each other. I can’t let you go.”

“Ron, I think I love him.”

He stops breathing. His arms stop squeezing her. His mental train comes to a screeching halt.

She loves him.

She loves… Malfoy.

It isn’t him saying those words. It is her. Ron thought hearing those words leave the ferret's mouth
was bad, but hearing them coming out of her mouth is much, much worse.

He thought she was getting better. The healers said her mind was recalling things easier, and that
the ringing she always complained about was more manageable.

But none of that can be true if she is declaring love for the fucker who used her.

No. No.

I need a drink. I need, need one right now.

His hands are shaking on her back, and she is the one to push away from him first.

“Well I love you.” He doesn’t look at her as he says it. Trying to hold in his anger at this fucked up
situation, from the words.

“Love me? You don’t even see me Ron. How can you say you love me?”

“I see you! I see both of you! What… what you used to be and what you have become. They both
live…” He smashes his hand into the side of his head. Again, and again, and again. Watching her
blink with each thud of his assault. “And contradict in me Hermione! I close my eyes and all I see
is you. Before all of this… this brokenness. And I miss her! Don’t you miss her? Don't you miss
how easy it used to be huh?”

He moves in front of her, and grabs the sides of her face. Feeling them as wet as his own. Wishing
with anything that the memories that hold parts of who they used to be had the power to become
more. To become real again.

“We are going to get her back. I know it. We have to. You just need more time and…”

“Draco and I started before he had me, Ron.” She presses her hands into his chest, but there is
something in them. It looks like a bunch of little pieces of parchment. “It started a long, long time
ago.”

She lifts his hand and places it against his chest, with the paper in between his skin. He pulls his
hand away and looks down to see the little messages. He knows what they are as soon as he reads
the first one. They are the notes someone used to leave her when she left her mugs in the library.

When Ron had her bag, he found them pretty early on. He remembers thinking how odd it was for
her to keep so many of them. As he read each one, none of them stuck out as anything worth
holding onto.

There was one with a pretty funny joke on it, but rather than that…

“Did you ever see these when you had my bag? Do you know what they are? When I got them?”

He nods his head, and flips through them in his hands. Not really following why she was bringing
these up in the middle of what they are currently talking about. “Yeah they are from back in
school. You got the first one back in year four right?”

“Yes. And I kept every single one of them for a reason.”

Ron smiles as he finds the one with the good joke, and uses his arm to wipe his eyes so he can read
it better.

“The reason being… I knew Draco was the one who left them for me.”

The smile on his face drops immediately. And all of a sudden, the joke isn’t funny anymore. Ron
stares for a few moments before he starts flipping through the notes again. Reading them in a
different way now. Hearing the fucker’s voice in the sentences.

Bloody hell… If these are from him… If he… And she… All the way back then… and she kept them
since…

“You wanted proof Ron. I know you have always said you can’t trust the memories due to Draco’s
skills in the area, but you can trust these.”

She gestures to the notes he is now flipping through for the third time. Somehow hoping that he
will see something that will prove her wrong. Instead he feels everything beginning to crumble
inside him.

“No… But Kingsley… He said that Malfoy… He said he saw him…” He shoves the notes back
into her hand as he tries to make sense of everything inside his head. Trying to work through all the
lies, half truths, and manipulations. There are too many.

I need a drink. I need a drink. I need it.

“Kingsley is a known liar Ron. He has lied his way through this entire war. He lied about Harry! If
you can’t trust him with your other best friend, why do you trust him when it comes to me?”

Ron starts shaking his head, and steps back as she tries to approach him. Does she not understand
what she is currently doing to him? How she is now making him spiral into that dark place and
start doubting…

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

“I have to go…” He backs up, staring at her. Looking from her tear covered face, back down to the
notes in her hand. Proof that Malfoy meant something to her. Proof that what he thought he was
seeing back then, wasn’t what was really going on.

If I am wrong about this… What else am I wrong about?

“Please let go Ron. Please don’t go through with what I know you are being asked to do. If you
care about me at all, please believe me. Please…”

He shuts the door on her pleads.

Again.

Again he is running away from her.

But he has to. She has no idea the gravity of what she had…

He gets into the lift, holding himself up against one of the walls as her screaming becomes
everything. So loud and strong that his eyes are watering from the pain.

A drink will make this all stop.

The lift doors begin to separate, and he tries to bottle up everything he is feeling. Quickly clearing
the evidence of the internal struggle trying to burst open inside him as he walks into the
lobby. Because he has to keep up the charade with so many eyes on him.
He is staring down at his shoes when he hears a voice he recognizes.

“Ronald, are you okay? Did… Is Hermione okay?”

He looks up and sees Nott standing there, placing most of his weight onto some wooden cane with
a metal handle that reminds him of a hook. He is also wearing some type of obnoxious leather hat.

Nott sees his eyes looking above his head, like he forgot he was wearing it.

“Oh shit, yeah an inside joke. Hey, I have inside jokes now, sweet.” He points his cane to the right,
and Ron follows it to see his sister leaning up against the wall with her arms crossed. Glaring at
him. “She thinks she’s funny.”

Gin sticks her middle finger up at him. Ron knows he should handle this. Yell at her. Let his
parents know she had gotten away. Where she was.

But he sees none of that as more important than getting some alcohol in his system right now.

He doesn’t answer the weird bloke, nor does he give any attention to the other people who start
saying his name as he walks out the door.

Ron runs down the entry path and past the front gate. Praising Merlin, Godric, Salazar, all of them,
that it had been easy for him to get his hands on liquor. It was one of the first things he had done
when they were informed they could now be seen in the real world. Not that he planned on
drinking the bottle. No. He bought it… just in case.

“Hey look! The Weasel King! Long time no see.”

Ron stops in his tracks, and turns to see Zabini, Parkinson, and Greengrass all leaning against the
fence surrounding the healing center.

“Zabini? What are you doing here?”

The bloke shrugs and flips his wand in his hand a few times. “Waiting on some friends.”

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for your own possible trials?”

The snake scoffs at him. “They can’t arrest us after taking our money. Think of the political
nightmare. And it is pretty well known that your murder count is higher than mine Weasel.”

Ron can’t help but flinch at his statement. He was too close to losing it. Too close to letting out
everything he is feeling, to have a conversation with the bastard.

He turns and apparates away.

Back to the inn.

Back to his room.

Back to where the bottle is hidden.

Hidden hopefully well enough for Padma not to have found.

He enters the building only to hear more screaming.

What the bloody hell is going on?! Why can’t I get away from it!

A door slams, and he hears footsteps coming up the set of stairs he is needing to go up to get to the
bottle.

That will help him think clearer. Because it can’t be true. Maybe the notes were from a bet the
prick lost. Maybe he was lying about them being from him. Because the notes make no sense with
the Draco Malfoy that Kingsley saw during the Battle of Hogwarts.

“Mr. Weasley, I need a moment of your time.”

Ron looks up and sees a very red faced Minerva McGonagall coming up the stairs from Kingsley’s
office.

Was she the one screaming?

His old professor had made it her duty to handle Hogwarts, and the state the entire school and
school body was in after the fall of Voldemort’s army. Trying to rebuild both figuratively and
literally what had been destroyed over the past year. It was a lot for anyone to take on, but Ron
believed if anyone could make the school what it once was, it was her.

“Professor, this really isn’t a good…”

“You are placing your trust in the wrong people Mr. Weasley. We all did.” She is looking into his
eyes in a way that makes him feel naked. Makes him want to become smaller underneath her gaze.

“I… I don’t know what to believe anymore…”

Neither of them speak for a few moments. She keeps looking at him. Studying him as well.

“Are you open to being wrong?”

He doesn’t say anything back for a while. Was he? Was he willing to be wrong with all of this?
Could he really keep breathing if it was all true?

“I, I think so.”

She pulls back the side of her robe, and digs behind a copy of today’s Daily Prophet to hold out a
small bottle in between them.

Ron recognizes the blue smoke-like material moving around inside immediately.

“I am going against someone’s very clear wishes by giving this to you.” She places the glass bottle
in his hand. “But I believe there are times when rules and promises should be broken. View this
Mr. Weasley. And then, come find me.”

She pats him gently on the shoulder before walking away.

He curls his fingers around the bottle, and makes his way to his room.

As soon as the door shuts, he sinks to his knees, and pries the wooden floorboard back to where the
bottle of firewhiskey is hidden.
I need you…

He pulls it out, and sits it and the other bottle on top of the table as he falls back onto his bed.

Staring at both of them.

At both of the options before him.

Ron grabs her hat out of his back pocket, and brings it up to his face.

Sinking his fingers deep into the material until it snags in his fingernails. His mum's yarn always
does that. They didn’t have enough money to buy the material that was soft against the skin. She
always had to buy the middle ground yarn. Not so itchy that anything she made was unwearable,
but also not soft enough to classify it as something comfy.

The hat had been his.

Hermione always used to say how the blue in it would bring out the color of his eyes. And he told
himself that was not the reason he wore it most of the time. Not at all.

He remembers the night it became hers instead of his.

It was the night before Christmas of fifth year. One of the only good Christmases the two of them
had together.

He and Harry had been fast asleep up in his room, when Ron woke up to the smell of something
delicious coming from the kitchen.

It was still dark out, which meant it was not his mum. He breathed in the scent again, and realized
he knew exactly what it was and who was responsible.

Why is she up this late?

He got out of bed, and walked down the stairs to see Hermione leaning against the counter staring
unblinking to the space in front of her. A pot of her mum’s hot chocolate steaming on the stovetop.

“Can’t sleep?”

She jumped slightly and then relaxed when she saw it was him.

“Oh no… Sorry, did I wake you?”

He shrugged, and looked into the pot to stir the liquid a few times. “No the smell did. Gin will be
here in a minute probably. Mum has been trying to make it, but Gin always complains it doesn’t
taste as good as yours.”

She laughed and poured them both a mug before the room went silent again. He was so nervous
about her present tomorrow. He wasn’t really sure what to get a girl who wasn’t related to him for
Christmas. She was the first one he wanted to actually get a gift for, rather than having to do it out
of obligation.
“It’s snowing outside.” She said as she took another sip of her drink.

“Yeah. Want to go for a walk?” He didn’t know why he said that. But the smile that took over her
face made him not care.

“Sure!”

She walked over to the front door with a bit of a jump to her step that made her hair bounce with
each one. He started to pull his blue hat and sweater with his large R on the front, when she
stopped and looked back at the stairs.

“What’s wrong?”

“My jumper and hat are upstairs in Ginny’s room. I don’t want to wake her if…”

“Here.” He held out his sweater. “You can wear mine. I like the cold.”

He very much in fact, did not like the cold. But he didn’t like the idea of her being cold more. She
hesitated for a moment and her eyebrows pulled together.

“But it is very cold tonight Ron. Temperatures at a low that can cause many ailments if you
don’t…”

“Blimey you know-it-all…” He opened up the hat and pressed it down onto her head, pulling it
miraculously over her hair and covering her ears. “Just put on the bloody clothes so we can sneak
out of here before my mum wakes up yeah?”

She rolled her eyes at him, but still pulled his large sweater over her head, and adjusted her
hair. “Your hat actually fits really well.”

He opened the door and let her walk out first before shutting it as quietly as possible behind him.

“Don’t get any ideas. That’s my favorite one.”

The entire yard was covered in a perfect thin sheet of white. No one had broken the surface yet. All
of it was sitting exactly how it had fallen from the sky.

They started walking back behind the garden, and Ron watched as Hermione stuck out her tongue.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, so all wizarding families don’t know about catching snowflakes with your tongue? I thought
maybe it was a gap with only purebloods. I guess it is just a Muggle thing like he said.” Hermione
dipped her head with her tongue out, and caught one small white snowflake that disappeared as
soon as it touched her mouth. “Come on, try it.”

They had quickly made it into a competition when he noticed she was counting both of their
successes. She caught more snowflakes than him in the end. A fact she gloated about to an
outrageous level that could have only been stopped in one way in Ron’s eyes.

With a snowball to the face.

He hadn’t meant to hit her in the face, making the solid lumps of snow get stuck in her eyelashes
and in her hair, while her cheek became bright red.

“Blimey, sorry ‘Mione, I meant…” His apology was cut off by a hard as rock retaliation hitting
him square in the eye. “Bloody fucking hell!”

He fell down to the ground, holding his hand over his throbbing eye. He had been hit by accident
or on purpose enough by his older brothers to know when a hit was going to leave a black eye. This
was definitely one of them.

“Oh my gods! I’m so sorry Ron!”

“You and me, always swapping apologies aren’t we?”

She helped him to sit up as she knelt in front of him, looking over the area. Every blink making her
eyelashes stick together from the ice.

“It is already bruising Ron. I really didn’t mean to hit you so hard.”

“Yeah I’ve heard that before. Don’t worry ‘Mione. I’ll have Charlie charm it before anyone else
sees.”

He didn’t want anything getting in the way of having a good holiday. They all deserved it after the
year they had.

Ron leaned back on his hands as Hermione curled her knees into her chest as the first signs of the
sun started to appear in the sky.

“Want to talk about why you were up?”

“The Muggle attacks are increasing.”

She had told him that before. Been obsessing all year with listening to the radio, and calculating
the numbers the Daily Prophet published. The war was coming, and it seemed like no matter how
hard the three of them tried to ignore it, they were going to play a pretty big role whether they liked
it or not.

“I think…” Her voice cut off as she swallowed and looked down at the ground for a while. “I think
I am going to have to make a really big decision soon. One that I don’t want to make. One that will
leave me alone.”

He couldn’t see it, but he could hear that she started to cry. Neither Harry or himself was good at
handling Hermione when she was crying. She usually went off to do it alone, where she thought no
one could hear her. He wasn’t sure what decision she was talking about, but looking back now, he
is sure she was talking about her parents.

“You’ll never be alone ‘Mione. Harry and I won’t let that ever happen.”

“You promise?”

She sniffled and wiped her cheek that was still a bright red from his snowball.

“Yeah I promise.”

She took his hand in her own and squeezed it. Ron didn’t really understand all of the things he felt
towards her at that time. It was all still very new and confusing and weighted down with a history
of friendship that made everything a bit blurry for him.

He had heard people say that she liked him. But he thought they had to be mental to think the girl
who insulted him, physically attacked him, and also fought with him more than anyone else was
taken by him.

And why in the wizarding world would he like her back in that way? It didn’t make sense. She was
his friend. Just a friend.

But when they walked back in the house, she took off the sweater, handing it to him, and then went
to take off the hat. He stopped her.

“You keep it. Blue looks good on you.”

She smirked as she retreated her hand and balled up the hat. “Really? I was told I would look best
in green.”

Ron bounced the image around for a bit before he shrugged. “Maybe. But blue is a close second
then.”

And everytime she wore the hat after, it would always make him smile. It had been the first thing
he had searched for in her bag when it was becoming clear that something horrible had happened to
her.

A piece of him that he gave to her.

That smelled like her.

He sits up, and looks back up at the bottles.

He doesn’t know how long he stays like that. Staring at them.

Two different directions. One definitely easier than the other.

“Ron, I heard you saw Min…” Padma shuts the door as she stops talking. Noticing the two bottles
he is staring at.

Unlike him, Pads was very good at keeping her composure during difficult situations. She had
handled his drunken arse successfully many times, and also somehow was capable of calming him
down from spiraling when the withdrawal pains became too much to bare. Just like she shows as
she walks over and sits next to him on the bed.

“You haven’t opened it.”

“No.”

She doesn’t say anything back to him, but he knows she is upset. She had basically made his
sobriety her personal mission over the past couple months. Taking charge in a way that was needed
without Ginny present to kick his arse. Padma’s way was a bit gentler. Not usually including
violence until it was really necessary.

“What happened today?”

He rings the hat back and forth in his hands.

“I am afraid to let go Padma. I am afraid of how alone I will really be if I do.”

He hears her sigh, and feels her hand prying his from the hat. She gently takes it out of his grasp,
and puts it on the bed next to him.
 “If you don’t let go of all the what if’s, you will miss out on what could be.” She stands up, and
starts to walk towards the door. Stopping as her hand reaches for the doorknob. “No matter what
you decide, you don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to be. It is your decision to make.”

She shuts the door.

Leaving him with his bottles.

Both of them staring at him.

It was all set in motion. For him to get what he wanted. He doesn’t have to be reliable anymore. He
isn’t fighting a war, and hating himself constantly for his role in it.

He was free.

Free for the first time in his adult life to do what he wanted.

What do I want anymore? No…

No, what do I need?

I, I know what I need.

He reaches over to her hat, and stuffs it into his back pocket as he stands up, and moves in front of
the table.

Looking from the left bottle, to the right bottle.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

You know what, fuck it.

He picks up the bottle and undoes the cap.

Chapter End Notes

TW!!: Discussion of rape, and images of alcohol abuse, and addiction.

 Draco
Chapter Notes

Hey guys. Please read the following before continuing. It’ll help with everything
coming.

First: This chapter is long. The longest chapter within this story. +16k words in length
(Yes, I hate myself too). There is a very natural area to take a break that is almost
exactly half way through the chapter. It is also marked. Please use this area, and take a
breather if need be.

Second: Part of this chapter relies heavily on scenes and information shared within the
Deathly Hallows. There have been many elements of canon interwoven, and retold
within PIP. An example of what I am referring to would be in the beginning of chapter
25 where we see Hermione being tortured in Malfoy Manor. Like this scene, the one
in this chapter relies HEAVILY (almost 80% I would estimate) on some scenes from
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. If you have never read these scenes from
canon, this re-telling may be confusing and seem off to you. I would advise reading
the scenes first from She Who Must Not Be Named to get the full effect I was trying to
accomplish. (Not a must, but a suggestion)

Exact quotes from the Deathly Hallows are marked by ** at the end.

If you like to listen to music, the following songs on the PIP Spotify playlist (linked in
chapter one) are great to listen to while reading this chapter:

- Put it On Me by Matt Maeson

- but i had to by Roman
- Run boy Run by Woodkid
- Arcade by Duncan Laurence

Holy moly guys, this is it. Wow. All the pieces are coming together. I can’t believe I
finally get to share this chapter with you.
I hope you enjoy.

TW!! - are placed in the chapter end notes if you would like to look.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The sound of his face smashing against the metal table in the room echoes down the hallway.

Draco tries to fight back the hands holding him against the cold surface, until he feels Aberforth's
binding magic wrap around his head.

Just like it is wrapped around his arms, his hands, his legs.
He huffs hot breaths as he fights against the magic; creating a liquid fog on the reflective surface.
Cutting out the distorted image of the old wizard and the group of Aurors above him.

He has no idea what is going on. Ever since they arrested him, he hadn't been moved out of his
cell. Not once.

"Do you have the official imprisonment documents?"

He pauses his fight.

Fuck.

He tries to turn his head to see the face of the voice who just asked the question. A question that
makes his muscles tense to the point of snapping.

Imprisonment.

Azkaban.

Like the many other Death Eaters, they would be handling his proceedings and conviction as
quickly as possible. Sweeping them under the celebration.

A large bag is placed on the table, obstructing more of his limited view.

His breaths are coming out loud and fast, matching the pace of his heart as his body refuses to stop
fighting. Even though he knows it is pointless without his wand and surrounded by trained
professionals.

"Yes. His number is already verified by the Minister's signature as well. Whenever you are ready."

A large pot of purple black ink is set inches away from his nose.

He sees a specific kind of wand being dipped into the murky substance, and it hits him what is
about to happen.

Fuck no!

This can't be happening.

Not again…

He grunts loudly as he presses against his restraints, trying to protect the skin of his neck.

A searing hot pain radiates from his right shoulder. The one he most definitely dislocated while
trying to get out of his cell.

Trying to get out, and get back to her.

A chair squeaks across the floor, and a shadow falls over his body.
He knows his fight is pointless. This wouldn’t be the first time a war ended this way. With the ones
left in charge shining a spotlight of blame onto the wrong fucking person.

Hell it had even happened to his own family during the first war.

Maybe it is part of the Black family curse.

Cousin Sirius would be proud.

The tip pushes into the flesh of his neck, and he feels the burn of the magic carving the ink into
him.

Draco had known from the very beginning that the Disorder would pull some shit like this. Had
seen it in the way Kingsley looked at him every single meeting. Heard it in the way he and
Aberforth articulated when speaking to him.

And after he was forced to kill those nine people, he knew what he was going to be to the group.

A pawn to place the blame on. To cover up the harder decisions, choices, and actions that a side so
founded on the greater good and light would never deem responsibility for.

Draco forces his eyes to stay open and non-reactionary as his body is once more marked against his
will.

Becoming something he never wanted to be.

This one, like the one on his left arm, he did expect.

It was why he was the one to do the harder things on lead assignments. Why he killed Luna. Why
his name was on the paperwork and not Theo, Blaise, Pansy, or Daphne.

And he never really bought into Granger’s belief that his story could be rectified, or made clear and
understandable. No one wanted to see him in that way. It was much more comfortable to look at
the surface of who he was. At the mark on his left arm and now the one being placed on his neck.

They would take in those marks, and his name, and believe that was his story. That was all he was.

He was the perfect person to place blame on.

Everyone wanted to anyways.

And no one wanted to look at all the uncomfortable aspects of what they had been forced to accept
over the past few years as the wizarding world was run by a madman.

All everyone wanted now was easy. Was light. Whether it was true or not.

The burning pain stops on his neck as the wand is raised and the shadow above him pulls back.

“Okay, done. Once he is transported to Azkaban, the walls of the prison will register the magic.”

The large bag is clipped shut, and the older two wizards shake hands before he exits.
Draco watches the circle of fog grow, and then shrink with each of his fury-filled breaths. Feeling
his heartbeat pulsing in the newly abused area of him.

At least the other mark he could hide with his sleeve, but his neck…

Not like you are going to have the need or ability to hide it you prick.

Not where you are going.

He had made peace with being damned a long time ago.

But he always saw this happening to protect the very few people he cared about, not because he
was being accused of hurting the most important person in his life.

He never saw himself as being the reason to keep her caged. That wasn’t him. That wasn’t them.

He had made every impossible choice to try to ensure she came out of this as whole as possible.

Yet none of it fucking mattered in the end.

His idea of having some semblance of control over his own body, mind, future, everything, was
crushed once again.

Was carved into him again.

Always the reminder that no matter what he did. No matter how hard he fought. No matter what he
gave up.

It was all pointless anyways.

Yes they had defeated one set of monsters. The ones that were obvious, that didn’t disguise their
depravity and ugliness. But they hadn’t even been given the chance to revel in that victory before
the other ones came, and broke them apart again.

Three of the largest Aurors pull him up as Aberforth breaks the binding magic that kept him on the
table.

The one Auror who is also responsible for Draco’s bruised rib, sinks his fingers into the joint of his
shoulder. Knowing exactly what he is doing.

Draco fights to keep his mouth from opening, and his body from showing any reaction as they
forcefully lead him back down the hallway.

Focusing on any form of control he could convince himself he has. His reactions being one of
them.

They lead him past empty cell, after empty cell before stopping in front of a familiar door. One that
has three very large dents in the metal from his consistent attacks.

The Auror holding his shoulder twists his thumb as deep as possible into his joint before shoving
him towards the cell. The pain makes his eyes flash with white, and makes the heart beats travel
from his neck, down to his shoulder that feels like it is being ripped in two.
Don’t give him a reaction.

Don’t give any of them any satisfaction.

Occlude.

Instead of letting his knees buckle slightly like his body is screaming at him to do, Draco uses
everything within himself to saunter into the holding cell, and lean against the back wall, like he is
the one caging them.

The specific Auror, who seems to have it out for him, is the last to stop glaring before listening to
Aberforth’s instructions to go back to their posts.

The old wizard doesn’t leave though. Flipping through files, and nodding slightly. That is what
Draco can see at least between the 53 bars that make up his temporary cage.

“So what do you get out of all of this?”

Aberforth blinks down at his paperwork before he looks up and meets his eyes across the space.

Draco was very confident that he knew what was truly happening with his imprisonment, and what
the purpose of it really was for.

Kingsley had control over the other two members of the Golden Trio who were the only ones to
have as much notoriety as him. Who had public opinion, and fame to a level that was threatening to
everything Kingsley had been working towards for years.

Potter wasn’t a threat anymore, being dead.

And Weasley, he was distracting him with the perks of fame without any of the responsibility.
Exactly what a man like the ginger wanted.

The only real threat left to his power was Granger. She was one of those rare people who fought
for the truth, who believed in the greater good to a point she was willing to lay down her life for it.
Who was known for her brilliance, and was believed to be a catalyst for the future of the wizarding
world.

She was a threat. And had shown her cards too early with the man. They all had.

But Draco had very few opportunities to gain knowledge by getting people to talk. He had spent
enough time in the Death Eater forces to know how valuable information was. And how important
it was to use opportunities and people for your own gain. How to get people to speak. And there
are a couple very specific pieces of knowledge he desperately needs to know before he is placed in
Azkaban.

I have to know she is okay…

“A free world again Mr. Malfoy.”

“Since when do you care about the entire world? Your disappearance between the first. and most
of the second war, proves that untrue.”

Aberforth scoffs as he folds the parchment, and stuffs them into his robes inner pocket. Keeping
the words out of his line of sight.

“Yes when this cause was run by my brother. Once it transferred into more capable hands, to a man
who proved he was willing to do what was necessary to free this world again, when winning
became a realistic expectation, I offered my service.”

Draco rolls his eyes, and carefully crosses his arms in front of him. “Trust me, Albus wasn’t
opposed to manipulating, and placing the war on children either.”

Neither side of this war was. From the very beginning, children were used as pinnacle players in a
game much bigger than themselves. When they learned about the first war, the damning evidence
was easy to see in the ages of most of the casualties.

Both sides repeated the cycle with his generation. Actually starting the manipulation before they
were even in school. Caging them in the expectations laid out for them.

And then there was the reality that his old Headmaster had been privy to his mission 6th year, and
had done nothing to truly help him out of the situation he was trapped in.

It was easier to control children. To use, and mold them into what was needed. And both sides
chose to control by fear. One much more forthright. The other hidden behind half truths, and
manipulation of desires.

The problem both Kingsley and Voldemort ran into though, was that they were not children
anymore.

Their innocence was taken a long time ago.

They had made sure of that.

The man shrugs like they are discussing recent Quidditch scores or the weather.

“No, but he didn’t have enough selfishness driving him to create the outcome needed within the
greater good. To make the hard decisions, because they were worth what he was personally
fighting for. A relatable moral conundrum isn’t it? To place your desires before others?”

Aberforth looks at him in a telling way. Like he is privy to all the reasons Draco did the things he
had been forced to decide between over the past years. And how they had all been for his selfish
desires. Because he placed her life above others. Above Luna’s. Above the nine people. Above the
one woman on the stage. He would always choose to protect hers above every, and any other life;
even his own.

He would destroy any threat to those selfish desires.

Unfortunately, he and Granger had somehow become a threat to others' desires.

“You are not the first generation to have their young lives interrupted and changed by the course of
greed. Nor will you be the last Mr. Malfoy.”

“I take responsibility for the choices I make within my selfishness. Even fucking Voldemort did
that.”
“Yes, and look where you both are now.” He buttons his robes and lets out a sigh as he looks him
over. “Honestly Mr. Malfoy, you should be thanking us for the small mercies we are bestowing on
you by keeping all of this out of the press, and wiping it from history. You are a smart man. You
must know there was never a version of the future where society would allow you to exist
peacefully after everything you have done. Even Ms. Granger could not sway the public opinion if
the truth was ever learned.”

He means what Draco was made to do by their Disorder. The truth of all the dirty, brutal, dark
things they asked him to do to keep the opening to end the war. That is how they got away with
this. Always keeping a handful of people in between themselves and the actions they were asking
to take place.

Keeping the guilt and the consequences at arm's length, and placing them on others. Like himself.

Draco knew they were doing this. That is why he had continuously made it clear to Granger that he
did not trust the group with her life.

But because of his selfish need to keep her safe, and the lack of any other better choices, he had to
play into the role they asked him to.

Destroying any vision of the future he had been imagining since Theo found her months ago, with
every horrible act. The wizarding world, wounded deeply by the past couple of years, did not have
room for understanding.

Aberforth lets out a sigh when Draco doesn’t respond, and turns down the hallway out of sight.

As soon as he is sure he is alone, Draco raises his hand to the inflamed skin starting right
underneath his hairline and continuing to the space below his chin.

He concentrates on the raised areas. Following them with his fingers to try and figure out what
numbers they are.

Maybe they are my favorites…

His finger follows the curves of the first one.

3… Good…

The second one is also all curves, then goes into a loop.

6… Maybe…

The third one has both a curve, and a sharp angle at the end.
2… Yes okay…

Draco sighs a breath of relief.

They are good numbers.

Memories and images that he treasures as much as the addictive habit to count, come into his
mind.

It isn’t as bad as the one on his left arm. This tattoo he can turn into something else.

Convince himself they show something different than his demise.

His thoughts are cut off as two Aurors come around the hallway. His cell has no light. Nothing but
the small fixtures against the opposing wall to keep it from complete darkness. The only way he
was able to tell what time it was, was by the meals brought to him twice a day. This is now the 5th
morning meal he has counted.

“…You only see a small glimpse of her in the photo. But I heard from my relative who works in St.
Mungo’s that she has grown up in the best ways.”

“We could ask him if we wanted. I am sure rapists don’t really care to hold in all the details of their
conquests, right Malfoy?”

Draco doesn’t look up from his shoes as the Aurors push the tray into the slot of the door.

“So was the Golden Girl any good? I mean, she had to be if a pureblood Death Eater like you
continued to use her in that way right?”

The tray bangs off the floor as it drops. Food scattering all over the ground. Not that he ever eats it
anyways.

The first time they had pulled this stunt, he had fallen for it. Hence the bruised rib and swollen jaw.

But Draco knows he doesn't need ‘attacking Aurors’ added to his offenses. He doesn’t need to give
them anything else to use against him.

He keeps telling himself this over, and over again as they say the crude and horrible things about
his witch. Trying to keep his body silent of any reaction.

Occlude. Occlude. Occlude.

“No story time? Okay, how about you tell me if the stories I have heard are correct? Is it true if
you say the word cock she will get on her knees without a word?”

You are in control of you.

Control yourself.

Show them they don’t have all the control.

The two Aurors look at each other and snicker. Draco’s hands ball into fists in his lap as he fights
not to tell them about a different true story: where his last captors thought they were safe, yet are
now in pieces in the ground.

“I’m going to take your silence as a yes. You know, they say you drove her crazy with your mental
capabilities, but I am starting to be convinced you drove her crazy with your cock. Am I right
Malfoy? Fucked The Hermione Granger into absolute submission? Until she was nothing more
than a walking cock warmer for you. A place to spill yourself into. A cunt you controlled with…”

His hand is through the bars of his cage, and wrapped around the man’s neck before he even
registers what he is doing.

Draco’s hands are sinking so deep into the man’s flesh, that when the other Auror’s magic pushes
him backwards, Draco’s fingers split open the skin on his neck from the friction. He smashes into
the metal bars across the cell.

The men open the door to his cage, and are on him in seconds. The Auror he had tried to kill, pulls
back his leg, and kicks him in the side of his face as hard as he can.

The attack snaps his head sideways, away from the light and the men. Another blunt force to the
back of his skull. And then another to the shoulder making his arm hang at an angle that is not
normal.

“A life sentence is not enough for vile like you…”

KICK.

“The Kiss isn’t even enough…”

STOMP.

“If it was up to me. I’d have your whole lot paraded onto one of those fucking stages you murdered
so many innocents on…”

PUNCH.

“And let everyone who lost someone they loved due to you, have their way…”

KICK. STOMP. KICK.

“Even Azkaban is too good of a place for………….”

Draco feels the shiver inducing pain overtake him from his shoulder at another blow, right before
the world goes black.

The taste of iron in his mouth wakes him up. His body, sensing the wrong taste even as it is
unconscious, spits it out and onto the dirt ground in front of him.

He spits again.
And again until his throat is clear of the fluid. Moving his neck slowly, he turns to look at the
disgusting sight to his right.

The skin of his shoulder is completely black. A darker shade than even the dirt on the floor. Some
skin had been broken due to the force of the Auror’s kicks. But from the way they are now
scabbing, he must have been out for a while since then.

He slowly pushes himself up with his good arm, cradling the bad one close to his chest as he leans
back on the bars behind him.

If he is sent to Azkaban in this condition, he would give himself a month. Maybe two tops before
he is dead.

Draco lifts his head as he starts to wipe the grime on his face, but freezes.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I’d rather be dead.

I really should have killed you.

He can’t help the scowl as he realizes Ron Weasley is watching him. His sunken eyes that are
surrounded with purple rings move to the turn of his mouth and stare unblinking.

Draco straightens, and pushes back the overwhelming pain so as to not show the wanker any
weakness.

He knew the man had a role in the positions they are both currently in. Draco hadn’t been able to
gain much information since being placed in his cell, but he had heard who would be present at his
so-called trial.

Ron and Kingsley were the only two.

And he knew why.

The redhead’s eyes move from his mouth to the rest of his body, and Draco feels his anger rise in
his chest.

“Approximately five days in a cell, no shower, no real food, and two or three beat-the-shit-out-of-
me sessions later, and I still look better than you Weasel. So stop fucking looking at me like that.”

The man doesn’t take the bait. Even though his statement really isn’t a lie. The wanker looks like
shit. His hair is disheveled, and his skin is ghostly pale like he is very ill. The eyes staring back at
him look dead in a way Draco has only seen a few times in his life.

His shoulders seem to be falling so heavily, that they are almost touching his knees bent in front of
him as he leans against the wall across from the cell.

And he is still staring at him.

Not saying a word.

Holding what looks to be two containers, one in each hand.

He watches Weasley's wrists twist in the same motion over and over again. Hearing the fluid swirl
against the glass bottles as they spin.

So he is drunk.

That makes sense.

“I always saw this.”

Draco’s attention redirects from deciphering the two containers in his hands, at the statement. He
thinks maybe he will do what the bastard had done to him. Not respond after he was addressed. His
pride is telling him that is a great idea, while his mind is telling him that the man was a talker. And
that he was running out of time and had no ability to be picky about who gave him the information
he needed.

“Honestly? Me too. Though I never expected you to be the one. Potter may have been an idiot, but
he was one lucky idiot. I always thought it would be him.”

That gets a reaction out of the redhead. Making him snort and nod his head lightly in contemplation
as he averts his attention back down to the objects in his hands.

“A lot of people thought it would be him for a lot of things. Yet… here I am.”

“Yes. The disappointment as usual.”

The wanker closes his eyes, and rests his head back against the wall behind him. Hands never
stopping their continuous rotation.

The one bottle is definitely firewhiskey. Draco can recognize the label even with one eye swollen
shut. The bottle seems to still be full though. With the amber fluid filling up to the narrow spout of
the glass container.

But that doesn’t mean the man isn’t drunk. This could easily be his second bottle.

The other container is much smaller, and has him squinting to try to see better. The vial looks
familiar. It reminds him of the one’s Theo prefers. And the contents sort of look similar to a
memor…

“It was your fault.”

Oh fuck.

Draco stops breathing at Weasley’s words. At the realization of what the man has in his hand. His
body freezes, and drops in warmth. How had he gained possession of it? Draco was very clear that
no one else was ever supposed to see what was in that vial. One of the worst moments of his life.
The vulnerability and truth corked within the glass container.
Now in the hands of the second to last person he ever wanted to see the contents.

He fights to keep himself from lunging forward through the bars to grab the piece of himself the
man is so flippantly twirling back and forth between his fingers.

“How did you get that, and why are you here?” He bites out between gritted teeth.

“It was your fault.”

Damn it, he watched it.

He had to if he is repeating what he is. That it was his fault. The fucker knew, and now was
undoubtedly going to add it to his denial-filled narrative about Draco’s role in the abuse of
Granger.

It was over.

With the wanker in possession of that information, plus the support of the most powerful man in
the wizarding world currently, the medical reports all easily twisted, Draco doesn’t stand a chance.

He was going to be found guilty.

He was going to be forever labeled as one of her monsters.

The one thing he never wanted to be. Had fought against becoming as much as he fought to keep
her alive.

Like he had told the Weasel months ago, he was fine with being the villain, but never hers.

But yet he was. He had been. And the redhead is holding the proof.

Draco mimics the other man’s movements and closes his eyes, leaning back against the bars.
Taking out a long deep breath. One that feels a bit lighter than breathing has felt for a very long
time.

“Yes.”

The word feels lighter too as it slips out.

Like some of the things he had been struggling to carry with every single breath, are finally able to
be placed off of his shoulders, and onto the ground.

Maybe because even accepting an outcome that he didn’t want was better than fighting against
something he could no longer change.

Acceptance.

Not exactly peace. He thinks he could possibly feel that word if he could get the wanker to share
how Granger was, or where she was. To know for sure that Theo and Red had been able to
successfully save her from her different kind of imprisonment. The possible need for that backup
plan had proven itself. But he hadn’t heard a word on whether she had escaped or if authorities
were looking for her.
He feels the exhaustion, bone deep and rooted so much into every thought and action, become a
presence recognizable as wrong within him.

That maybe, just maybe it was okay to give in to being tired. Maybe it was time to stop fighting.

Not yet, not until I know for sure she is okay.

He opens his eyes to see the redhead staring back at him. Clutching Draco’s memory and the bottle
of firewhiskey now.

“The tickets…” Weasley’s voice breaks the silence, and he coughs a few times before sitting up
straighter. It looks like the words make him physically sick. Like his body was trying to reject
them from forming into existence. “Bloody hell…”

Weasley runs his one hand, not currently white knuckled around a bottle of alcohol, over his face
and into his hair. Something that Draco guesses he has been doing a lot recently if the state of his
obnoxious mane was to be believed.

“The exhibit tickets 6th year. You gave those to me because you wanted her away from
Hogwarts.”

It isn’t really a question. More of a statement. Yet Weasley meets his eyes like he is waiting for a
response.

Draco never thought he would be having this conversation with the man in front of him. Granger
was always the person he saw himself finally coming clean to if he ever stopped being a coward,
and shared all of his secrets. But he is not stupid. He knows the wanker's presence means his trial
is taking place soon. Probably today even.

Draco lets out a humorless laugh. “It only took you three years, but you finally caught on. I’m
proud of you Weasel.”

They both sit in silence for a while before the ginger git picks up Draco’s memory vial and brings
it to his face. Watching the smoke swirl around in the space. He rests the larger bottle of alcohol on
his knee and looks from one to the other a few times before meeting Draco’s eyes in between.

“You know I still hate you.”

“The feeling is reciprocated I assure you.”

“No. I mean I genuinely hate the person that you are. That will never change. No matter what I
was wrong about, and no matter how she feels about you.”

Draco is moving to retort with some degrading remark until the last few words hit him, and he
stops.

How she feels about me…

She… She remembers how she feels about me?

The warmth that had disappeared from his body over the past few days starts to swell within him.
At the possible reality that she was remembering. That she was continuing to get better, and win
her battles without him by her side. That she was still fighting. That maybe, she remembered
loving him.

“So she is still…”

Weasley shakes his head. “No, she broke out right after the last time I saw her. Coincidentally, your
group of snakes along with my sister, have also gone missing. But we both know none of this is
surprising to you.”

He can’t help but smirk at the man as he feels his breathing becoming easier and easier.

Maybe this is it then.

She was no longer caged anymore.

She was with people he trusted more than anyone else.

She was getting stronger, and with Theo’s help, he is sure she will be better than ever with time.

If anyone could fix all the lies and falsities being spread and believed, it was her.

This isn’t all for nothing. This is enough. This is for everything.

A frustrated grunt from Weasley makes him realize he is smiling. Draco forces his mouth back to
the straight line and works to build his walls protecting her.

“It is still all laid out really. Everything I thought I wanted, what I thought I was seeing…” The
wanker raises the bottle of alcohol up to his face. Draco can see his distorted eyes through the
liquid, blink a few times before he scoffs and lowers it back onto his knee. Once again looking
from the bottle to the vial. “…I think I could still make it if I wanted. I could be selfish and choose
that direction you know?”

Draco does not know what he is talking about. He is sounding deranged, sloshed out of his mind.
Never tearing his eyes off of the two objects in his hands. Holding onto them with a desperation
Draco recognizes. It is how he holds onto Granger. Like everything that has meaning in his life is
wrapped up in his hands.

“How many?”

The ginger watches Draco gesture to the alcohol. He doesn’t do anything for a few moments before
he sighs, and adjusts his hands down to the bottom of the container. The slender top and cap are
pointed in Draco’s direction, and he notices what the man is showing him.

“Why?” He asks.

The wanker barks out a laugh at that. Shaking his head back and forth.

“I have no fucking idea to be honest. It would be easier to think and breathe if I did.” He moves his
hand back up the bottle and skims his thumb over the sealed cap. “Would really help with coming
to terms that I thought one of your jokes was almost funny for years yeah? Maybe I made the
wrong choice. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“You actually taking the initiative and energy to make a choice on your own? No Weasel, that
would be a first.”

The corners of the redhead’s mouth rise, but it isn’t a smile as he sets both of the bottles down next
to his legs.

“Nice tattoo by the way.” He points to the side of his neck. “Seen a lot of people with the same two
though. Pretty unoriginal Malfoy.”

“They seem to come as a set if my memory serves correctly.”

Weasley lets out a noise that could possibly be classified as a laugh. “Still a prick even on his way
to prison. At least some things are the same.”

He sits up slightly and digs into his back pocket to pull out a hat Draco recognizes as the one
Granger started wearing in 5th year.

It was too blue for her.

Not the soft hew of periwinkle that accentuates every beautiful feature of hers. It is loud, and a
heavy looking blue. The fact that the man was carrying around a piece of his witch's clothing in his
back pocket, makes him want to do similar things he had done months ago in Theo’s kitchen.

There are a lot of things that Draco was making peace with sitting in his cell. Giving up a future
with her. Going to Azkaban. Dying.

But the idea that the wanker would have years to try to fix what he had broken between him and
Granger. To have the freedom to once again right all of his wrongs, and let time make his words
and betrayals feel less. The thought of her actually letting him have power over her again. To make
her smaller. His hands ball into fists at the images, at the possibility.

It really wasn’t fair.

“She holds pieces of me too, Malfoy, and she always will.” Weasley twists the material between
his hands. Wringing it as if he is nervous or afraid. “And I really, really don’t want to let her go.
I… I don’t know if I can you know? She is my best friend. She is my family. I just… I don’t know
if I can do what she wants me to do.”

Draco isn’t following the man whose words are spilling out of him all broken and in pieces.

Is he about to fucking cry?

What the bloody hell is happening.

“She looks better in green.”

He says the words to hurt him. To remind the bastard that out of the two of them, he was the one
who should be a mess at the current situation. What did he have to badger on about? Draco was the
one behind bars. If he was looking for someone to feel sorry for him, Draco was the last person he
should have came to.

“But blue is a close second. Almost…” Weasley stops, and abruptly moves off of the floor to stand
in front of his cell. He places her hat back into his pocket, and bends down to grab both of the
bottles before rising again.

“So how did you get that? And what are you going to do with it?”

Instead of answering him, he slips his vial into another pocket, and begins to toss the firewhiskey
between his two hands as he starts to walk away from him.

Wait fuck, no! No, he can’t have that.

He can’t be the one that has that memory.

“Don’t ever show that to her! Do you hear me? I fucking swear if you…”

“Why ferret? Afraid she is going to think it is all your fault too?”

Silver meets blue again and Draco doesn’t know what to say. Because yes, that has always been his
biggest fear. That one of the horrible choices and mistakes he has made throughout his life when it
comes to her would finally be the one to crush everything.

To make her pull away for good.

To break her trust in him.

Weasley grunts, and raises the bottle of sealed liquor towards him as he walks backwards towards
the corner.

“To almosts Malfoy. Almost.”

He turns the corner and is gone.

No! No! No!

Draco pushes against his bars. Banging his one good arm into the metal structure over, and over,
and over again.

She could never see it. Not that. He doesn’t care what Theo said about coming clean about
everything, he had told her all she needed to know.

He had told her about Luna. And about kissing the fucker.

She didn’t need to ever see it.

To know.
What he had done to her.

It was his to carry. To live with. To destroy himself over, and over again along with all the other
decisions that would eat him alive for the remainder of his very short life.

She didn’t need that placed on her.

Not now with them coming to an end.

There was no need for anyone to carry it but him.

It was his to bare.

He bangs into the metal door. Into the places his assaults can already be seen. Just to do something.
Anything. He hears a crack, before he feels the pain in his wrist. Pulling it back and flexing his
fingers, before continuing to destroy himself with the cage he had built with his mistakes.

“Are you done?”

He breathes in heavy breaths.

This is it.

The end.

He knows it as he steps back, and sees Kingsley and Aberforth coming to stand before him.

The Minister looks him over quickly with a face blank of any expression. One that Draco mirrors
back at him as he builds his walls, and allows the cold complacency to overtake him.

“I have a proposition for you Mr. Malfoy.”

“Proposition?”

“Yes, one that would serve both of us well I believe.”

Draco narrows his eyes, and wipes the blood on his knuckles into the fabric of his trousers. Serve
both of them well. What bollocks. Their desires could never coexist with one another. Not when
the man was trying to destroy the person he had done everything to save.

“I need this… meeting to go as smoothly as possible. Your agreed upon cooperation is something I
am willing to negotiate for.”

“Wouldn’t want too much attention drawn to the web of lies the power you have is founded on?
The rest of us have to live with the loss of what we wanted due to the decisions we made during
the war, Kingsley. I am not going to make anything easier for you.”

He tries to rotate his wrist, but the pain informs him the crack had definitely destroyed the
connection and ability.

“Ms. Granger’s weren’t the only health files I spent time looking over…”

The sound of a cell door opening has him raising his gaze. An Auror is placing a few items into the
smallest, darkest cell in the space. One that has solid walls instead of bars like the others.
Completely closing off the area except for the small window in the open door.
“… It was surprising seeing everything Mr. Nott Jr. endured under his father’s care. Quite
disturbing.”

The man is placing the simple amenities prisoners receive into the cell. The same ones Draco has.

A thin blanket.

A spoon.

And one set of government issued clothing.

“I am sure a lot of it still affects him if placed in… similar environments.”

The left room.

They are getting the cell ready for Theo. He is threatening him with his imprisonment, fully aware
of what being placed into a dark room, with no light, and no way to escape, would do to his
brother.

It would break him.

Permanently.

“And then there is also Ms. Granger’s future. One that the media seems to be saying is teetering
between two possibilities. One of recovery, and ability to live a simple, quiet life anyone who has
been through what she has would want of course. Or one of brokenness that keeps her confined
within the walls of St. Mungo’s to care for her through her madness.”

I should have killed you too.

I don’t know who is worse.

“Seems like an empty threat to me. Since I am aware some key aspects of your proposal are
currently missing.” Draco tries to control his voice and blinks slowly, rolling his one good
shoulder as he reinforces his walls around his best friend and the love of his life.

He watches Kingsley’s face to see any slight falter or wince at the surprise that Draco was aware
that Granger had escaped and was safely hidden away. But the man doesn’t do that. Doesn’t even
blink as he nods, and clasps his hands behind his back.

“We will find them. You and I are both aware it is only a matter of time. And when that time
comes, I could look the other way and let them live, or I could act against them. The choice is up to
you.”

Choice.

Once again with that fucking word being used. When it wasn’t an accurate representation of the
situation in front of him.
Forced action was a better description.

“If you think there is a scenario where I trust any of the words leaving your mouth, maybe you
should be the one admitted to St. Mungo’s second floor.”

“What if we partook in a vow that would hold me true to my words, and you to yours?”

Fuck my life.

Fuck this never ending hell.

The man was nervous. Nervous about something that Draco wasn’t in the loop about. His face may
be emotionless, but his actions are not.

Draco knew the Minister had a pretty solid amount of evidence for his twisted beliefs. He had his
power, the Weasel’s notoriety, and medical facts. What more could he need? Unless… something
was happening. Maybe the Wizengamot official was second guessing how the proceeding was
being handled. Maybe the public were wanting large trials to release some of their anger onto.

There was a long list of maybe’s that start flashing into his mind. It was a weakness. A small crack
that Draco may be able to exploit for his own gain. Depending on what he was wanting him to
agree to.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to respond yes to every single question the wizard asks of you during the meeting.
Nothing more. Nothing less. That is all. Agree and I will vow to never allow Ms. Granger and Mr.
Nott Jr. to be imprisoned, in any form, ever again.”

Draco repeats the words Kingsley spoke in his head. Pulling them apart and hearing what was
being said between the lines. Making sure there was no crack or possibility left to manipulate.

“And never cause them harm of any kind. Add that to the vow and you have a deal.”

He doesn’t need time to think about it. Like he is sure it is obvious, he doesn’t care about escaping,
and fighting for his own salvation anymore. If his imprisonment could guarantee they never would
be, then that was enough.

Yes.

Yes it’s enough to know they will live.

It has always been enough.

Aberforth pulls out his wand, and Kingsley offers his arm for Draco to wrap his own around.

Making a deal with the devil once again.

At least this one leaves him feeling prouder than a lot of the other ones.

They say the vow, the stipulations, the agreement. Draco watches the thin golden lines of the
magic weave around their arms, and feels it dive into his skin. Taking his breath away for a
moment before they separate.

The side of Kingsley’s mouth raises slightly.

“Good. Aurors, if you would.”

The large group lead him down hallways, up a lift, and down another hallway before opening a
door into an empty courtroom.

An Auror pushes into his shoulder and makes him sit in a chair.

At least they aren’t putting me in that cage…

A very small, very old wizard whose beard drags on the ground behind him, enters through the
opposing doors. Aberforth pulls out the forms from earlier, and places them in front of the wizard
who is readjusting his large spectacles.

“Hmm yes okay, the forms are ready. Where is Mr. Weasley? I would like to make it home in time
for dinner.”

“He should be here any minute. We can start without him.”

“I will need to hear his testimony though before prosecuting. It is within the forms and
paperwork.”

Kingsley nods and gives the wizard a slight smile as he hands him an ink pot and a quill.

“Of course.”

The man supposedly in charge of the rest of Draco’s life, doesn’t even look up at him as he dips
the quill into the ink, and lets out a bored sigh before hovering it over the parchment.

“Mr. Malfoy, did you use legilimency, memory tampering magic, and/or the obliviation spell on
Ms. Granger?”

“Yes.” The three letters fly out of him with the force of the Vow. And something else feels like it
falls from his shoulders.

The quill meets the paperwork.

“Did you isolate, and manipulate her for your own use to make it through the war?”

“Yes.” His shoulders straighten a bit more.

“Did you…”

The doors behind Draco make a creaking noise as someone opens them. He looks up and sees
Weasley staring down at the table as he stands in the doorway.
“Ah Mr. Weasley. There you are. If you would share your testimony against Mr…”

“I recant my testimony.”

Draco’s eyebrows meet in his forehead as he processes what the man just said.

Kingsley lets out a nervous laugh and gestures to the ginger in the doorway.

“Let us talk about this for a minute Mr. Weasley before you…”

“Malfoy is innocent when it comes to his… care for Hermione Granger. My testimony and what I
thought I was seeing is not the true story.”

A noise from behind him has Draco’s eyes snapping to hers as soon as she comes into view.

No! No! No!

Granger I swear to Merlin…

You never fucking listen to me.

She isn’t alone though. Theo and Red are standing beside her, and Minerva is following behind
with a group of people he does not recognize until. Wait. Is that..?

And you brought the bloody predator?!

You are ruining everything Granger!

“If you want the proof…” Weasley digs into his front pocket and pulls out his memory. He looks
down at it for a moment before turning to his right, and placing it into the hands of the last person
in the world Draco wants to see what is in that vial. “Watch this.”

It is said to everyone, but also only to her.

She turns her eyes from the vial and smiles up at the man before reaching out and placing her index
finger against his nose, and mouthing some words Draco can’t make out. Weasley shakes his head
quickly and steps back, giving Draco one last look before turning and walking away.

What the fuck is happening?

The old wizard sighs loudly again in frustration and massages his temples.

“You said this was going to be a quick proceeding Minister. Now I have to redo the paperwork and
it seems like you have a defense here to represent.”
“They are not representatives. They are a group of wanted young adults…”

“And Headmistress of Hogwarts. And representatives from four of the largest organizations that
helped us win this war and worked alongside said wanted young adults.” Minerva leads the group
of people, Granger following at her heels, into the courtroom. “All here to witness and support
what Mr. Weasley just recanted, and what this…” she drops the vial onto the table, as she raises her
wand to bring a large Pensieve into the open space. “Has to show. Destroying any of your own
perceived beliefs of what you saw at the Battle of Hogwarts Minister.”

Oh no.

His eyes shoot back to Granger. Trying to tell her with a look to stop moving closer to the Pensieve.
The wizard audibly groans this time and slowly gets up out of his chair, gesturing for one of the
Aurors to move him closer as well.

Draco is pulled out of his seat, but his eyes never leave his witch who is refusing to meet them.

“Granger no. Please. I don’t want…”

“She shall look along with us Mr. Malfoy.”

He opens his mouth to tell the judge that it didn’t matter if she watched or not. She doesn’t
remember it anyway. And it was better that she didn’t remember.

He wishes he didn’t.

Every single day.

Minerva pours the memory into the pool, and Draco’s entire body starts to shake as his walls come
crumbling down all around him.

He would rather go to Azkaban.

He really would.

She finally looks up at him, and he knows she sees how badly he does not want her to do this.

“I’m sorry.”

He forces the words out, and they make her hesitate for only a second before she lowers her face,
and someone behind him pushes his head down as well.

“Bloody hell!..” He shoots up from his bed. Hand clasping the searing hot pain coming from his
left arm.

It takes him a few seconds to pull himself together. To truly wake up, and register what is
happening to his arm.
To his mark. It has been activated.

Someone had called upon the Dark Lord. And Draco is well aware there was only one reason a
Death Eater would be calling for him.

They found Potter.

Which means they found her…

The burning in his arm starts to dissipate as the message is finished. He opens his eyes, and tries to
breathe out heavy huffs as he slowly moves his curtain back.

His body is still recovering from the discipline from his family's last failures. The nerves in his
arms and legs spasm every so often with high levels of excursion, or in this case, fast unhindered
pain.

The clock above the fireplace in the boys' Slytherin dormitory makes it clear it is late. Even if
Blaise’s incessantly loud snoring doesn’t make that obvious already.

Draco runs his shaking hand over his face and into his hair.

Something was happening. Something big. He could feel it in the energy of the magic from his
mark. Feel it at the Dark Lord’s acknowledgement.

He leans over, and pulls back the curtain of the bed next to him to find it empty. Bed perfectly
made. Showing Theo once again was hiding somewhere deep in the library past curfew.

He sighs, and quickly pulls on some clothes and his robes, and quietly leaves the dorm. The main
room is empty as well, and he is just about to exit the portrait when he hears a loud noise, and feels
the floor beneath him shake for a few seconds.

“What the…”

Another noise. Followed by small specks of stone falling from the ceiling, and onto his head.

It is past curfew by an hour.

The castle should be quiet,

Nothing should be happening that would warrant noises like this.

Unless…

They are here.

“Fuck.” He checks the inner pocket of his robes for his mother’s wand before walking through the
portrait, and running towards the library.
Why would Potter come here of all places? The git was stupid, but to come back to Hogwarts
where so many of the Dark Lord’s devoted followers were, was complete suicide.

He is almost to the library when the voices of other people travel up the hallway. He stops his
running, and slides behind one of the stone pillars of the walkway.

“…They will all be here soon. Every one of his followers with him. Potter is on a mission from
Dumbledore. We must give him as much time as we can. Have all the students meet in the Great
Hall at once!”

Professor Flitwick runs past him and turns the corner. Followed by Professor McGonagall and
Professor Sprout.

So they are here. And the Dark Lord was aware and was on his way.

This is it.

There is no way any of us are getting out of this again.

I have to find her.

Draco pushes out of his hiding spot, and opens the door to the library. He notices the empty head
librarian's table as he runs back to the alcove that holds both Theo, and Granger’s favorite tables.

Merlin does he miss leaving her mugs and notes on the table. He misses seeing her bushy head of
hair obstructing most of his view in class. He misses counting her eye rolls, and hearing her voice
rising with righteous anger at himself or someone else.

He turns around the large shelf that is placed so close to the opening of the room, that many
students never came upon the extra area.

Theo’s nose is basically touching the current book he is reading. Face so close to the markings on
the page that he doesn’t notice Draco entering the space until he slams both of his hands onto the
table top.

“Shit!” Theo jumps back in his chair. Pulling the large tome up with him and holding it
protectively against his chest, before registering who is in front of him and relaxing slightly.

“You know you could have just said, ‘hey mate, what are you doing?’ Instead of giving me a
bloody heart att…”

“Have you not felt the castle shaking? Or the sounds of powerful magic being cast?”

Theo rubs at the ball of his nose. Aware of the ink smudge on the tip.

“Uhh no, I haven’t noticed anything like that. But look what I found! I think if we placed this spell
on our playing cards, it would make it impossible for Blaise to cheat and…”

“Potter is here. And the Dark Lord knows. He is on his way.”

Theo’s mouth slams shut as his eyes widen. Like on cue, the castle starts to shake under their feet.
Theo braces himself on the table, and watches his books slowly move with the vibration on the
table top.

“Why would Harry come back here? He has to know this place is…”

“McGonagall said Dumbledore sent him here. I don’t know what for, but…” He pauses and tries
to stop the shaking in his hands. He can’t let Theo see him like this. “I think this is it Theo.
Everyone is on their way. You need to get out of here. Go to the Great Hall. It sounds like they are
having all the students…”

“Is she with them?”

Theo starts stacking the books in his specific organizational way. He bends down next to him, and
throws his large healing kit over his shoulder as he starts floating books back into their slots.

“I… I don’t know, probably. They wouldn’t have made it this far without her. I’m going to go try
and find her.”

“And what Draco? Finally come clean about everything?”

Draco dodges the largest tome as it flies down the corridor and into a slot. Theo moves his wand to
put another one away, as the floor shakes again.

“Nott, stop putting the fucking books back! It isn’t going to matter if they are in the right spot if
the castle is about to be attacked!”

Theo flinches slightly, and stares down at the books for a moment before nodding and following
him out of the library.

The halls are empty but the noise of people and movement can be heard from every direction. The
castle was no longer asleep.

Draco looks towards the end of the hallway that would lead to the Great Hall, but there is no way
that is where the three of them would be. If they were following Dumbledore’s instructions, they
are here for something or someone.

Draco turns to start walking in the opposite direction.

“Hey! Wait, where are you going?”

“To make sure she is safe. Go to the Great Hall Theo.”

“But you don’t even know where she is. How are you going to find her if…”

The castle groans, and it feels like the ground shifts underneath their feet. A crack from above has
Draco looking up just in time to grab hold of Theo’s robes and yank him out of the way as a large
part of the ceiling caves in.

He falls to the floor and covers his face on instinct as the small and large stones hit against his
skin.

The castle groans again, and before they have another close call, Draco pulls Theo to his feet and
drags him down the corridor. Away from the weakened structure and into a hallway still intact.

This is happening.
After years of waiting, it is finally happening.

“Draco…”

He looks up to see the passageway towards the Great Hall completely blocked. He coughs out the
dirt that made it into his mouth, and wipes it from his eyes. He can’t freak out. Not in front of
Theo.

“Okay, Okay. It’s okay Theo. Go up to the Room of Requirement. Stay in there if you can. If you
can’t, hide where you used to while waiting for me to be done with the Vanishing Cabinet. I’ll
come find you as soon as I can.”

He points down the hall again, and starts backpedaling the other way. His brother stares at him
with wide fear-filled eyes before swallowing and turning away. Theo would be fine. He wasn’t a
Death Eater. He wasn’t on either side. And no one really knew him to create an opinion one way or
another anyway.

Draco keeps telling himself that as he moves further and further away from him. He searches down
the deserted corridors, and ventures towards the area he hears voices coming from.

“…Make sure your sister stays away from the fighting you hear me? And find out what loo your
brother and Hermione ran off to! We need to know…”

A lavatory.

His girl was… was in some loo while the Dark Lord was on his way to kill her best friend?

What could be in a lavatory that would be needed so much that she would…

The Chamber.

Draco runs to the left, and doesn’t stop as noises of a battle start to increase around him. The voice
had been Molly Weasley’s. Which means The Order was already here. And by the sounds of the
magic meeting opposition, he would guess some of the Death Eater army was here as well.

He gets to the stairs and takes three at a time. Does Potter have a plan? He hadn’t heard anything
about this battle being predicted. If this started like so many of Potter’s other crazy schemes, then
they were surely all storming into this with no strategy other than that bollocks belief of love
conquering all.

Yeah, tell that to Cedric.

He jumps the last eight steps, and falls to his knees as the ground starts to shake again. Collecting
his balance quickly and moving to the right.

Draco had been listening to every small and large detail he could about the security measures in
place at the school, and about the growing Death Eater army. The numbers of followers seemed to
be gaining just as rapidly as the Dark Lord’s control. He knows without a very clever and well-
thought out plan in place, The Order doesn’t stand a chance.
“We need Harry, Ron! It is an amazing idea, but how are we supposed to get into the chamber
when neither of us speak parsel…”

Granger.

A weight he didn’t realize was pressing into his chest, lightens as he hears her voice. She is safe.
She is away from the fighting. For once she isn’t placing herself into the middle of the problems
others create.

He looks around the corner, and sees her holding what looks to be some cup in her hand.

He hasn’t seen her since the night she was tortured on his manor floor. Covered in blood, and
screaming.

But now she looks like his Granger again as the Weasel pulls her into the loo behind him. Draco
moves to the side of the door, and presses his ear against the surface.

A large crash shakes the hallway again, and the sounds of voices beginning to rise travel within the
space.

“I know that you are preparing to fight… Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me. I do not
want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical
blood.”**

His hand goes up to the mark on his left arm as he hears the voice of the Dark Lord magically
travel throughout the castle. The shaking in his limbs gets worse as it recognizes the voice as the
one who had cursed him again and again to the point that his vision was gone for days.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Occlude. Occlude you prick right now.

“Give me Harry Potter and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave the
school untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded, You have until midnight.”**

Midnight.

They have until midnight before Potter was ended.

His luck had to run out sometime, and tonight seems to be the night.

But he isn’t taking her down with him.

“How… How did you learn how to do that!? Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!”
“Look at us swapping compliments rather than apologies for once yeah? We have to go. Harry is
going to need a fang for the crown.”

“Diadem, Ronald. It is very different from…”

Her voice starts to fade away, and Draco opens the door to see the Chamber entrance closing.

He sprints over, and barely makes it through the gap. Plastering himself into the wall behind him,
he waits until he can no longer hear their footsteps and voices before moving himself.

“Here. You destroy this one. Harry and I have already had our turns.”

Draco moves against the back wall in the shadows until he sees her watching Weasley yank one of
the large yellowed fangs out of the skeleton of the Basilisk. He holds it out to her, and she pauses
before slowly reaching for it.

“We should take as many fangs as we can. Just in case we need them. Their venom can be used for
an…”

“Stop stalling you know-it-all. You can do this ‘Mione. I’m right here.”

The wanker takes the cup out of her hand and places it onto the floor in front of her. He takes a step
back, as she takes one forward. Her hands grip the large base of the tooth, and begin to raise it over
her head.

What is she doing?

How would stabbing some cup help Potter?

Her arms swing the fang down towards the cup, but a force Draco has never felt before, pushes
against everything in the room. It is so strong and wrong feeling that it takes his breath away. He
sees Granger stumble onto her knees, still holding the tooth in front of her. Yet seeming to be
unable to move it.

Her eyes are darting back and forth in front of her. And Draco can see even from his distance that
her body begins to shake, and tears are wetting her face.

What is happening?

What is she doing?

“No… no it was real. He meant it… He lied about Harry…” Her voice breaks into a sob, and the
tooth slides out of one of her hands.

“‘Mione! It isn’t real! Whatever you are seeing, whatever it is telling you, it is all lies. Don’t listen
to it!”

“Mum… dad… Harry…” Her sobbing grows louder, and Draco is about to blow his cover and
rush towards her to make it stop, when her voice changes into a growl. Her other hand wraps
around the tooth again, and her face becomes hard as she raises it, and screams, smashing it down
into the side of the cup.

The magical force knocks into every area of the room again, and has all three of them on the floor.

Granger, what the fuck was that?

“‘Mione, ‘Mione, you did it! That was bloody brilliant! You are okay, hey, hey, you are okay.”

The wanker moves over to her and pulls her up as she keeps staring down at the destroyed cup. He
grabs the sides of her face and turns her gaze to look at him.

Draco watches as she smiles slightly, and Weasley’s eyes lower down to her mouth and stay there.

Oh no…

Time starts to move slower, as he lowers his face to hers.

As she moves forward to meet him.

As their lips touch.

1 second.

Merlin fuck my life.

As his hand moves down to the dip in her waist, and pulls her body flush against his.

2 seconds.

This is the worst thing I have ever seen.

As her hand goes up to his cheek.

3 seconds.

Close your damn eyes if you don’t want to see it Malfoy!

I can’t….

You are the luckiest bastard in the world Ronald Weasley.

As the wanker moves his lips against hers, and she responds back.

4 seconds.

I should kill him…

As Weasley pushes, and widens his mouth…

5 seconds.

Oh no fucking way. I am ending this.

Draco holds his wand out and magically throws one of the large stones against the wall.

The loud sound of the collision makes Granger jump back and look behind her. Her hand goes up
to her mouth, and wipes against the area that was recently attacked.

She turns back to the ginger, and she crooks the side of her mouth up at his beaming smile.

They stare at each other for a moment, before another loud bang breaks their eye contact, and
brings them back to reality.

“Let’s go find Harry.”

They both bend down and grab some of the fangs, and run up the stairs.

Draco follows after a few minutes, nerves coming back to the surface as they all start towards
where the battle has started.

They rush out of the lavatory and turn to the left. Draco makes sure to keep them in sight and also
within hearing distance, yet far enough away not to be seen himself. Like usual, the fearless lions
aren’t checking their backs.

But Draco is. Around every corner, after every ten seconds, he is glancing back from where they
came. Giving each open area a double glance before moving.

He is just about to follow them up one of the stairwells when a familiar figure stops him in his
tracks.

“Draco, is that you?”

He closes his eyes for a moment, and builds his walls that help him keep his mask in place as
Crabbe comes to stand before him.
“Crabbe, I know you are dim witted but why the fuck are you here and not in the Great Hall with
everyone…”

“Everyone else was evacuated or is fightin’. Me and Goyle stayed back. We are going to find
Potter. The Dark Lord is offerin’ a reward to whoever does. What are you doing?”

“Same.”

Draco looks over his shoulder towards the staircase to see Granger is nowhere to be found. He
turns and starts walking back in the direction they had come from, back towards the loo.

“Where is Goyle?”

“He’s hidin’ out to see if they are using the Room of Requirement like they did for that lil’ army
they used to have. Stole those coins the Mudblood made for him to let me know.”

Draco nods his head as the boy follows him in the opposite way of his witch. They continue on,
hiding from members of both sides of the battle. Pretending to look into empty classrooms and
shadowed corners for the Chosen One.

He needs to somehow lose prat-one and prat-two.

Get back to her.

To watching her back, and being there to make sure if this all goes to hell, he can get her out of
here.

But to where?

His mother had been talking about hiding him and herself away in one of the many properties his
family owned. But that was before he was forced to get the Dark Mark. Before he was traceable.

Maybe if things became bad enough, he could take her away and put her in one of them. Maybe his
mother would help him. The only issue with that idea was getting Granger to stay there.

“Oi! He spot em’ Draco! The Golden Trio is outside of the Room of Requirement. Let’s go.”

FUCK!

He grabs the burning coin out of the morons hand, and takes off back towards the stairs. Making
sure to stay ahead of Crabbe.

They dodge stray magic, pieces of the castle walls crumbling, Order and Death Eater members
alike until they are rushing down the corridor leading to the empty wall.

Prat-two is hunkered down on one of the window ledges, but jumps out when he spots them.

“They just went in.”

“What did they go in for?”

He reaches out and takes his coin as well, and stuffs them into his front pocket.
“Something hidden.”

“And all three of them…”

“Yeah, Potter, the Weasel King, and the Mudblood.”

“Okay, you two stay out here and…”

“No way Draco! I don’t care if you have fallen from the Dark Lord’s graces, you are not claiming
all the credit! C’mon!”

He closes his eyes, and breathes out slowly before glancing over to the corner where his brother
should be. Where he always ended up bringing his books, or his newest purchase, and fixating on it
while Draco worked on saving his father.

He tilts his head to try to see behind the stone figure for any sign of his brown hair…

“Draco c’mon!”

He turns his attention back to the wall, and like the hundreds of other times, steps into the familiar
and object filled room.

His fingers start shaking again at the familiar musky smell. They all stand still for a moment,
trying to hear movement, but the room is quiet.

“Split up. Activate the coin if you spot them.”

The two idiots nod their heads as Draco tosses them a coin and turns down the path to the right.
The one farthest from the Vanishing Cabinet. He moves around the piles of forgotten belongings,
traveling deeper and deeper into the room. He is about to turn back and choose another path when
he spots movement out of the corner of his eye.

The top of something bushy.

And brown.

Thank Merlin…

Draco moves forward, and around the large antique armoire to see Granger trying to hoist herself
up on top of it.

Her foot goes up to push off the handle, and as soon as she places her weight, the wood snaps.

He moves before he thinks about the consequences, and stops her body from falling by grabbing
her hips, and placing her safely on the ground.

“What the, Malfo…”

He covers her mouth with his hand, and pushes her back into the armoire, out of sight of the
pathway.

“Shhh keep your voice down. Crabbe and Goyle are in here too.”
His body is probably pressing her harder than it needs to be, but he doesn’t stop. Not even when he
feels her teeth sink into the skin of his palm and bite down hard.

“Ouch, fuck! Was the nose not enough for you? Trying to leave another mark on me?”

She spits to the side, and glares up at him. “What are you doing here Malfoy?”

“Proving my apology from 6th year was real.”

Her face softens and her eyes move between his. “What is that supposed to mean?”

The floor beneath them shakes. They don’t have time for this.

“What is the plan, Granger?”

“Defeat You Know Who.”

“How?” They glare back at each other. The gold in her eyes is on fire with everything happening.
Alive in a way that makes him want to fight. But she doesn’t say another word, and by the way her
lips form a thin line, he knows she doesn’t plan to. He groans and looks over his shoulder. “Fuck,
fine don’t tell me. But at least tell me you have a plan if Wonder Boy isn’t able to kill him.”

She stares at him, and tries to stop her face from showing the truth. That there was no plan B. That
her nobility was completely taken by the one set course.

Fucking Gryffindor…

“You are going to be the death of me woman…”

“There can’t be another plan, Malfoy. If Harry doesn’t kill him tonight, that means Harry…” She
stops speaking and lowers her gaze to the floor. Her emotions coming to the surface.

Because with the determination it seems Potter and The Order must have for this battle being the
one, that would mean Harry would have to be dead for a different plan. It was kill or be killed.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to be. You need a plan for yourself if the worst happens. The
Death Eater army outnumbers yours 4 to 1. If Potter dies, your cause is done. There will be nothing
left to fight for, not tonight at least.”

“If Harry dies, then I will die…”

He presses into her harder, cutting off her oxygen and making her horrible words stop in her throat.

“The fuck you will. We didn’t come this far for you to kill yourself for no bloody reason. Your
hopeless cause…” His hands on her waist start trembling as he is getting angry. He pulls his body a
step away from her. To stop her from noticing the shaking, but by her eyes staring at his hands, he
knows he is too late.

“Is that from what he did to you after we escaped your Manor?”

Draco closes his eyes and balls his hands at his sides to try to hide the evidence.
She reaches out and he feels her warm soft hand wrap around his.

Please keep touching me Granger…

The coin in his front pocket starts burning.

Fuck.

He squeezes her hand for less than a second before pulling back, and looking down the pathway.
“One of the idiots found Potter.”

Granger’s eyes widen, and she is quickly pulling her wand out of her Muggle jeans, and walking
back towards where they split up.

Draco reaches out, and grabs her wand arm.

“What are you doing? They can’t stop…” She tries to yank her arm out of his grasp.

“I’ll handle them. You stay at my back. Don’t do anything unless needed okay? I’ll make sure
Potter is able to do whatever the fuck he is trying to do.”

He moves in front of her, but doesn’t drop his hand from around her forearm. She lets him drag her
back towards the left, and he spots Crabbe’s big idiot smile staring ahead of him.

Draco turns back to Granger who is moving her wand up towards the snake.

“No stop! I said I’ll handle them okay?” He grabs her wrist and points her wand down to the
ground, pushing her back and in between a small alcove in the piles of objects.

Silver meets gold in that moment, and neither of them blink as they take one another in. He can see
so many questions happening in that big brain of hers, but they don’t have time for them all.

“Do you trust me?” He whispers.

It is the one question that wraps up as many things as possible into a simple statement. He is afraid
of her answer. That is why the words come out so weak. Because even though he struggles to
believe she had forgiven him like she said back in 6th year, this would be proof that it was real.

Her eyes continue to search his before her mouth opens.

“Yes.”

Thank you. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

He lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and pulls out the coin from his pocket.
“Listen, if this ends badly, if you need to get out of here, head towards the east side of the Black
Lake. Down the path that goes through the courtyard. Run about a half a kilometer past the forest
line. That is the quickest way past the anti-apparition wards they have around the school. And
here…” He places the coin into her hand and makes her fingers wrap around it. “I will be close if I
can be. But if we are split up, and you need help, activate this. And I’ll find you okay? I promise
I’ll find you.”

She nods her head and opens her mouth to say something back to him, but the voice of prat-one
cuts her off.

“Draco, I see him. Let’s go.”

He pushes her deeper into the gap, placing his face inches away from her own. And he sees her
look down at his lips like he had seen the wanker do to her earlier.

“Stay here Granger.”

Draco enunciates each word as he steps into the pathway, and pulls out his wand.

“Stay alive Malfoy.”

He stops at her cheeky tone, and shoots her a wink that receives eye roll number 387 before he runs
to the side of Crabbe. Goyle has now joined him, and both of them start to raise their wands
towards the git.

“Hold it, Potter.”**

The two morons look back at him along with Potter who is reaching for something on top of a
pile.

He needs to give him time. Say some shit. Any shit.

“That’s my wand you’re holding Potter.”**

Merlin, I bet she is giving me eye roll number 388.

Potter responds with some half witted comment, seeming to be trying to buy himself some time as
well, as Draco watches his hand sneak closer and closer towards the side of the pile.

For a diadem apparently, even though Goyle seems to be giving himself an aneurysm as he tries to
say it.

“Harry?”**

Weasel I am going to rip that mouth, that keeps causing me a shit ton of problems, off of your
fucking face.

Crabbe shoots a spell that sends a large pile of objects tumbling to the ground.
Her scream comes a second later.

Draco turns and yanks Crabbe’s wand arm so hard, he hears his shoulder pop.

“No! If you wreck the room you might bury this diadem thing!”**

And other things much more precious.

Prat-one starts yelling accusations at him, and he responds, not really paying attention to anything
he says, as he listens for her voice. To make sure she is okay. Movement behind Goyle's shoulder
averts his attention long enough for Crabbe to wrench his arm out of his grasp, and send a spell
back towards Potter again.

“STOP! The Dark Lord wants him alive…”**

He grabs his arm again, trying to control him.

“So? I’m not killing him, am I? But if I can, I will, the Dark Lord wants him dead anyway, what’s
the diff…”**

A flash of brown in front of Draco gives him just enough time to pull himself, and subsequently
Crabbe, out of the way of a spell. The scarlet light shoots right through the space Crabbe’s head
had been, as Draco glares up towards the brunette who never fucking listens to him.

She rolls her eyes, and gestures to the boy next to him.

“It’s that Mudblood! Avada Kedavra!”**

NO!

He grabs Crabbe by the collar of his shirt, as he watches the flash of green travel toward his witch
who dives out of the way in time. Draco’s body is shaking uncontrollably as he shoves his wand
into the skin of the boy he was forced to work with so many times as their parents traveled up the
ranks of command.

The first syllables of the Killing Curse are leaving his mouth, but then, Crabbe lunges away,
knocking his wand out of his grasp with him.

Fucking fuck!

He starts to move towards where it had rolled out of sight, when he sees prat-one and two both
raising their wands again at the Chosen Git.

And he has no way of stopping them.

Now would be a good time for another spell to the head Granger.

“Don’t kill him! DON’T KILL HIM!”**

Both boys hesitate long enough for Potter to shout the only fucking spell Draco is convinced he
knows. But it does the trick.

Draco turns back, and gets to the floor to find his wand, but feels a blast of magic almost hit him in
the back. He turns and sees Granger running towards him, mouthing the word ‘sorry’ before
casting spells over where he is cowering on the ground searching for his mother’s wand.

She has his back.

Now if only he could move this blasted trunk and…

“HARRY!”**

He straightens just in time to see the bursting, and uncontrollable flames eating pile after pile of
objects behind Crabbe.

Potter tries some weak spell to stop the roaring flames claiming items in an uncontrollable force.
Like it will do anything.

They need to get out of here.

Now.

“RUN!”** He yells as he grabs a stunned Goyle. The boy isn’t light, and makes him fall behind the
group. Granger turns around, and starts to come back to help him drag the snake when an unstable
pile topples over in between them. Cutting her off from him.

“Fuck…”

His eyes dart around them, looking for another pathway, anyway to get out of the path of the
flames.

“Draco, what do we do?”

“We don’t use Fiendfyre in a room full of flammable objects you moron!” He sees one of the
largest piles of objects in front of them, and doesn’t see another option, but to climb over them.

He yanks Goyle up with him, trying to stabilize on a teetering pile of already charred desks.

He adjusts the boy in his arms as they start to shake again, and sweat makes him slip.

The flames are coming closer.

This is it.

He was going to die because of fucking Crabbe.

Draco sees movement through the smoke, and spots Potter coming towards him on a broom.
He squeezes Goyle tight to his chest, and reaches up to Potter's arm extending towards him.

His hands are sweating and convulsing so bad that they slip through his grip.

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!"**

The Weasel comes flying into view, with his girl holding on tightly behind him.

She reaches for him, and their fingertips touch each other before the wanker bends down between
them, and yanks the unconscious Goyle up on their broom.

"Help me 'Mione!"

"But Malfoy…"

"Get her out of here Weasel!"

Their broom takes off, just as Draco feels Potter's hand pulling him back onto his broom.

He climbs over, and grabs onto the git, and urges him to get the fuck moving.

They speed forward, and he spots the dark form of Granger ahead of them, only losing sight of her
for a few moments as Potter dives to grab the diadem they must have been looking for.

They crash through the smoke, and into a corridor full of clean air, and cool temperatures.

The tremors have now taken over all of his body, and he falls off of Potter's broom onto the cold
floor. Trying to pull himself together.

Because she is safe.

Covered in soot, but safe.

And his fucker of a lackey had almost killed her.

"C-Crabbe, C-Crabbe…"**

He coughs out. Anger rippling through him over the fact that the idiot had almost killed his girl,
and had cost him his wand.

He was now in the middle of a battle without a wand.

"He's dead."**

The wanker yells down at him like that isn't bloody obvious.

His vision starts to get spotty and he feels his head hitting the floor.

Her voice along with the other two start to become muffled and patchy.

Am I about to pass out?

The shaking gets worse and he tries to look up and get Granger's attention, but his head refuses to
move as his lungs feel like they are collapsing in on themselves...

His vision goes for an amount of time that feels like nothing but a long blink, but as he opens his
eyes, he sees shorter brown curls surrounding him.

"Theo…"

His brother drops the vials in his hands, and sits back on his legs as he closes his eyes.

"You scared me there for a minute."

Draco turns to where she was before and is met with debris and destroyed pieces of the castle.

"She left. She… Fred Weasley, he, he died. And they started losing it. And then the walls came
down."

He sits up and sees Goyle still passed out beside him. Draco reaches into his pocket, and feels for
the coin that is cool.

She hadn’t set it off while he was out.

"How long?"

"I don't know. I can't count minutes while I am losing my shit like you. But it's been a while. Your
mum is here. Everyone is here Draco."

Theo grabs his arm and helps him stand up.

His mother is here. That means she is here as stipulation to make his father cooperate.

And she must be here without a wand.

"Find my mother Theo. Take her past the Black Lake and apparate away. Tell her to go to the
property in Italy. I will meet you there after."

He wipes the grime off of his clothes, and tries to figure out where to go. Where she went.

“Okay. I’ll try. But… The castle, and the fighting. And a fucking rock smashed everything in my
healing kit. And…”

“Theo I cannot be there for them both. I need your help.” He makes eye contact with his brother.
Trying to show his plea and desperation. He needs his mother to be safe as well.

Theo tilts his head to the side to move the long brown curl that keeps falling into his eye.

“Okay. She went that way.” He points his wand behind them to the wall of stone in the way.
“Mentioned the upper stairwells.”

Theo moves a few large pieces of debris until light from the other side cascades into their enclosed
area.

Draco nods his head, and forces himself through the small opening. Unlike the three of them, he
cannot run through the fighting happening everywhere anymore. Not without a wand. He slowly
keeps to the shadows. Hiding, then running between the breaks in magic, and people fighting. He
doesn’t see Blaise, or Pansy, or any of the other classmates who could possibly help him with his
wand situation.
Draco slides out from behind one of the tapestries on a stairwell landing. A large scarlet light
grazes his shoulder enough to make him wince, and look up to see a masked Death Eater pointing
his wand toward him.

Well fuck.

“I’m Draco Malfoy, I’m Draco, I’m on your side!”**

His last name used to mean something in the Dark Lord’s army. Before his family had
continuously failed him. But it is the only option he sees, possibly stopping whoever was behind
the mask from finishing him right here.

The Death Eater in front of him lights up and freezes, falling slowly to the ground face first.

Draco looks around, trying to see who had saved his life, when a sharp force is hitting him square
in the nose.

He falls back onto the Death Eater to see a pale freckled arm disappearing out of sight.

“And that’s the second time we have saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!”**

Weasel.

Granger.

He tries to scan the area in front of him for any ripple, or sign of distortion of the Invisibility Cloak,
but a blast of magic from the floor below has the stone beneath him feeling less and less safe.

He shrugs off his charred and scorched robes, and yanks the robes off of the Death Eater still
stunned on the floor. He slips them on, and grabs the wand and mask. Taking anything that may
come in handy.

The wand feels different in his hands. His magic not recognizing it the same as it did his own wand
or his mothers.

He casts a simple spell, and sees that even though it may not be the best fit, it works. And that is
enough for him at the moment.

The entire castle shakes again violently, and he runs down the corridor where the freckled fist had
seemed to be heading.

Only to find complete and utter chaos.

Classmates of all ages falling, casting, laying, hiding, screaming coming from every direction.

A large hand that could only be attached to a Giant, breaks through one of the windows, and grabs
two girls. They don’t even have time to scream before they disappear.

The Giant keeps terrorizing the area. Draco moves to the back wall and starts casting spells at the
opening. Starting out with the easier ones and working his way up as the wand proves to be
working with his magic. He fights for a long time before making it to the other side of the room,
and the hand disappears for good out of the opening.
It takes him much longer than he wants to follow the pathway he believes they must have traveled.
As most of the openings are blocked off or full of broken remains.

He can’t stop himself from slipping his hand into the pocket holding the coin. He isn’t sure if he
wants it to go off or not.

Not. I hope she doesn’t need me. I hope she doesn’t need anyone.

“You have fought valiantly…”**

Draco stops in his tracks as the voice of his Dark Lord takes over the area. “Yet you have sustained
heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die. One by one. I do not wish this to
happen… I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead
with dignity. Treat your injured.”**

One hour. He was giving them one more hour before ending this. Whatever crazy scheme the
Golden Group was trying to accomplish, they had now 59 minutes to do it.

Wherever they are.

“I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you… I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden
Forest…”**

And like his haunting words held power over nature itself, the castle goes quiet. The attacks stop.

Only the sound of rock tumbling and finding their resting places can be heard echoing through the
expansive school.

He places his hands on his bent knees and tries to take in deep breaths.

He needs to get out of the open. If anyone saw him, they would ask questions. Questions that could
hurt his mother. That could hurt Granger.

He still has to play the role he has been playing for years.

Only for one more hour. One more hour, no matter what. You can do this for one more hour.

He wants to go and find his mother, but he knows Voldemort probably has her within his sights.
And if he saw Draco, who knows what he would force him to do. He needs to be ready. He needs
to be available if she set the galleon off.

They are more than likely placing the dead and wounded in the Great Hall. That is probably where
they headed after Voldemort finished his message.

He moves over to one of the windows closest to him, and tries to see through the quick breaks in
the dense smoke. Trying to spot Theo or his mother on the grounds below. The large gray clouds
of ash start to become thicker and move higher in the sky. He looks out for as long as he can before
having to pull back and wipe his burning eyes into his robes. He can’t see anything. Not from this
high up. But the Great Hall was on a lower floor. Maybe he could get below the smoke and have a
better vantage point.

Draco stands up and slowly hides, and ducks, and runs his way to the large room. Stopping every
couple of minutes to peer out a different window that gives him a new vantage point to the grounds
below. But he never sees them.

They are okay. They are both great at surviving. You know this. They are going to be okay.

He stops at one more window to see no one again before heading toward the Great Hall.

Before he even rounds the corner, he can hear the many voices of despair and grief being born.

He peeks his head through the opening quickly, and automatically finds his curls. She is staring
down at one of the twins on the floor unmoving. Their old DA Professor and his cousin lay next to
him, also unmoving.

He slides back from the opening and places himself deep within a crevice in one of the broken
walls. Giving him a clear view of the entryway.

Was Potter’s plan able to be completed within the 11 minutes remaining? Granger and the Weasel
don’t seem all too worried and the…

“…What do you mean you haven’t seen him…”

“…To go see the memory, and then I was helping Ginny with the wounded and…”

“How long has it been?! How long since…”

“Harry Potter is dead…”**

Fuck.

“There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman, and child will be
slaughtered…”**

Fuck. Fuck.

“Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you will be spared.”**

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!

“NO!”

A flash of long red hair comes running through the door. Followed quickly by Granger and
Weasley. A large group follows them all out to the front courtyard.

Are they all fucking insane? Was this part of their plan? Why would Granger, the most popular and
wanted muggle born in The Order go running out to the place just described as a slaughter ground?

He gets up and runs after the crowd, staying in the shadows and the back, before he sees the line of
Death Eaters waiting for them on the other side of the plain.

Hagrid slowly walks toward the crowd of classmates and professors, all worse for wear, with the
dead form of Harry Potter in his arms.

“No!”**

“ No!”**

“Harry! HARRY!”**

Draco moves over behind the rubble of a couple columns that allow him to see both sides clearly.
He can see his mother in the line. Her body also showing the lingering affects of the torture they
had endured after the manor. Yet still, she is the heir of nobility as she stands upright, with her chin
held high. The face of strength. But to anyone who knows her like Draco does, he can see the tells
that she is worried. The way she is pursing her lips on the right side. Her fingers tapping against
the top of her hand. She is scared.

Where are you Theo?

He watches Hagrid place Harry’s body on the ground, and the Weaselette and Granger fall on top
of him. The rest of the group stare down at the scene. Most of them seem to be in shock, and while
Draco never believed a war could be won by placing it on the back of a boy’s shoulders, his
stomach twists at the realization that he just watched a war end. And it ended in a way none of
them wanted.

Everyone starts moving closer to the body, staring down at it with mouths open in wails, or open in
silence. But Draco doesn’t take his eyes off of his witch now pressing her fingers to the side of
Potter’s throat.

Because as soon as the first spell is cast, he is going to grab her. He is going to force her to follow,
or knock her out if he has to.

He will take her past the apparition line. Bind her in one of his homes. And have his mother stay
with her, help him take care of her. Convince her to stay hidden.

Because she is done.

This war is done.

And if he doesn’t stop her, she will kill herself.

Draco starts to stand to be ready to move. But all of a sudden, Potter sits up, and casts a string of
spells back at the line of Death Eaters. Neville moves as well, pulling a sword out of the Sorting
Hat and going for the snake, barely missing. His crazy aunt lets out a piercing scream and launches
herself at the boy, while Voldemort sends his followers forward towards the small Order group
left.

He looks visibly shaken. Draco can see it from here as Potter pushes his magic at him, while
falling down to his knees again.

Blood is seeping out of Potter’s nose and ears, but the Dark Lord is also looking like something is
affecting him as well.

The Chosen One screams loudly, before falling to the ground once more.

And then all hell breaks loose.

“Seize him! Seize him!” The Dark Lord screams as his army rushes forward. Draco jumps out, as
Hagrid picks up the unconscious and moaning bodies of Potter and Longbottom with Ginny and
Granger’s help as Weasley yells at them to get behind him.

“We need to get Harry out!”

“I know, I know where to go. Where the anti-apparition lines end. Come on.”

Granger grabs onto the wanker’s sleeve as he casts spells at the advancing Death Eaters.

“Run! Run! ‘Mione, we will hold them off!”

“Ron come on, please, come…”

“Go! Just go! Get them past the wards. We have to get Harry outta here. That's most important and
you know it, go!”

She sobs slightly before letting go, and turning back towards Hagrid and Ginny.

The witch still hasn’t set off her coin, but bloody hell would he not be following.

The plain is exploding with the harsh sounds of war, as he runs back farther from the fighting.
Trying to find a way around it instead of through it. At least this time he knows where she is going.
At least she was listening to him.

He successfully passes a line of Order fighters without having to raise his wand, and he thinks he is
going to be able to make it to the outer courtyard when a familiar face blocks his path.

Minerva McGonagall has her wand raised towards his chest. Disappointment written all over her
expression as she looks at him.

Fuck I don’t have time for this!

“Mr. Malfoy, do not make me do this.”

“You don’t understand Professor. I have to get to her! You need to move.”
“You can still be more than what you were raised to be. I belie…”

A powerful cast of magic has them both jumping backwards. Draco uses the distraction to do what
he knows he has to do, and yells out the petrifying spell. He is moving before she even hits the
ground. Eyes following him the entire way.

“I, I have to. I’m sorry.” He says before running as fast as he can through the opening.

He runs into what used to be the east courtyard, and feels before he sees another Death Eater smash
into the side of him as a piece of a wall falls down.

Draco recovers quickly and sneers at Dolohov as he tries to right himself as well.

“Why the fuck didn’t you kill that old bitch Malfoy?! A petrifying spell? Shacklebolt had her back
on her feet before I could finish the job you started.”

“I don’t have my own wand Dolohov! Casting that kind of powerful magic with this…” He waves
the foreign wooden object at the man. “Could turn back on me.”

Draco turns away from him, hoping that the man would go in the other direction when his body
freezes.

When he feels a burning start in his pocket.

She needs me.

She is saying she needs me.

Draco takes off without any care of who sees him, or what is happening around him. Running
down the path he had told her to follow. Sliding through the small crack in the rubble that had
fallen into the opening towards the Black Lake.

Counting every single second as he runs, and runs, and runs.

As the plain turns into trees.

And as the path disappears into woods.

I can’t be too late.

Please, please. Don’t let me be too late.

A flash of green magic makes him turn to the left. Another green flash. Then a red. Then another
green.

Then a scream.

Her scream.
Granger.

He comes up over the hill and spots her stumbling, and fighting off a group of Death Eaters.

Seven of them are slowly trying to circle her as she continues to move.

But she is moving in the wrong direction.

Why is she moving in the wrong direction?

And where is the Weaselette and Hagrid?

Granger stumbles again and whimpers, before casting a spell that hits the advancing Death Eater. It
gives her an opening to go in the right direction, but instead, Draco watches her eyes roam the area
looking completely lost.

Like she has no idea what is going on.

Like she is confused.

Her clear fear is making her fighting sloppy. The next spell misses, and the two Death Eaters move
in.

Draco runs down the side of the hill to where she is stumbling, and sees her hit the two Death
Eaters with a stunning spell that has them dropping.

But three more are now close enough to cast magic that is hitting all around her. Exploding off of
trees, and the ground and making her scream.

And she is still running in the wrong fucking direction.

Go back! Turn left Granger! It’s right there!

She doesn’t.

She keeps running farther away, but closer to him.

He is running out of options. He can’t take at least seven Death Eaters on himself. And they won’t
stop until she is captured.

And she won’t stop running the wrong. Fucking. Way.

She isn’t leaving him with a choice as she turns the corner and comes into range. Giving him only
seconds to make the decision.

I… I’m sorry Granger.

 He pulls out the mask from his pocket and places it over his face. He moves into her path and
raises his wand.

Her beautiful golden eyes widen in fear, but he has caught her by surprise.

She is on the ground, knocked out, before she is even able to make a noise.

His teeth are shaking now. Everything in his body is starting to convulse, as he looks down at her
unconscious body.

I am not a monster.

I did it to help you Granger I promise.

I’m going to get you out of here.

“You got her.”

Draco looks up and sees the group of Death Eaters staring at her then up at him.

“Yes, but the Dark Lord wants Potter. I’ll take care of her. The rest of you go after the others. We
can’t let them escape.”

The group nods and runs in unison towards the densest part of the woods where they must have
seen the rest of the group go.

He watches to make sure they are all far enough away before stepping toward his fallen witch.

She is probably going to punch his nose again.

Do more damage than the Weasel already did.

Keeping her knocked out may be easiest. At least until he has her in a safe place, where he can tell
her why he did what he did, and help her get back to her group that surprisingly seems to be living
to fight another day. Or, maybe, since she did say she trusts him, he could convince her to give up
this worthless cause and find a new way to win.

Draco’s thoughts are cut off as he is given a split second to recognize what is happening.

That he hears the male voice of a spell being cast behind him.

That he feels magic hit against his back.

That his eyes, and body, and mind, all focused entirely on his girl, lose sight of her.

And the world goes black.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Discussions of alcohol abuse. Depictions of war, gore, and death.
 Theo
Chapter Notes

The last chapter before epilogues. Ending it how we began, with Theo.

The epilogues of PIP are very much needed, and a lot is still to happen within them,
but they will be different than the rest of PIP has been. This is the last full length POV
chapter.

That being said, I want to thank you all for this journey you have joined me through.
PIP started as a challenge placed on me for healing and has turned into a community I
never would have dreamed.

So thank you. Every single one of you who comments, reaches out, and leaves kudos
or stars fill me with a validation I have never experienced before.

That being said, this chapter is once again long. Surprise, surprise. I hope you enjoy.

TW!! In chapter end notes if you would like to see them.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

He pulls out the box from his front pocket, only to find it empty.

"Come on…"

There is no way he smoked through a whole pack in the last few hours. No way. Gingersnap must
have stolen a couple when he wasn't looking. Probably distracting him with her mouth while
simultaneously stealing from him.

Because yes he was nervous, and overwhelmed, and every breath wasn’t feeling like enough within
his lungs, but a whole pack was excessive for him.

He digs into his left pocket as he struggles to keep up with the group.

Maybe I put some in this pocket before I basically died.

Can’t seem to remember shit before all that, so maybe I did.

Please tell me I did…

His hand hits the bottom of his trouser pocket.

Empty.

“Shit.”
“Here, Teddy.”

A stick is placed in his line of sight. He knew the wicked witch stole some of them.

He grabs it quickly, and places it in between his lips as he lights it magically. Taking in the
calming addiction.

He always smoked more when his nerves felt like they were at the surface of his skin. When his
brain felt like it wanted to bounce right out of his own head. Like it is now.

“Thief. I knew that kiss earlier was longer for a reason.” He says as he tries to steady the stick
between his shaking lips.

Ginevra laughs, and adjusts his healing kit on her shoulder. Something she refuses to let him carry.

And she calls me the hoverer.

“You have been chain smoking all morning Theo, plus you have to put that out. Smoking isn’t
allowed in Ministry buildings.” Hermione flips through the forms in her hands as they walk.
Somehow having a conversation with him about his vices, double checking the many statements
and contact information she and Minerva had been compiling since they helped her escape, and
doing a better job at walking quickly with the rest of the people surrounding them than he is.

“Well unlike the lot of you, I am a bit worried about taking down one of the most powerful men in
the wizarding world… again.” He holds the stick out and exhales, but with the wind and their pace,
it travels back and hits him in the face, making his eyes water.

“There is no need to worry Mr. Nott. With the information Ms. Granger and I have been gathering,
along with support, memories, and Mr. Weasley speaking against his written testimony, Mr.
Malfoy will be found not guilty. Now, come along. I believe my suspicions of Kingsley moving the
trial earlier are correct.”

“How do you know my brother will take back his testimony? The other day he was still convinced
that he was right in his beliefs.”

Their old professor hands Hermione a form, and gives Ginevra a knowing smile as she tilts her
head to the approaching government building. “You all are not the only ones Kingsley has been
using. I have full faith in your brother’s character. He will do the right thing.”

“He will.” The statement comes from the right. From the group of old classmates who are also here
for support. Padma is shaking her head back and forth as she pulls her robe around her tighter. Like
she is trying to convince herself of what she is saying.

Theo hopes she is right. Not just for Draco’s sake, but also for Hermione and Ginevra’s. It was
breaking both of them to see him on the opposing side of a battle they have been fighting. If he
didn’t side with them, if he held onto his denial, then that would truly be unforgivable.

If he changed his beliefs into an act this big, there was no reconciliation possible.

Hermione told them all about the conversation she had with him right before they helped her
escape.
After his stay at St. Mungo’s, Theo had complained and made a list of all the changes and
improvements the healing center needed. So many outdated forms of healing. So many unneeded
protocols. And not enough advanced wards around rooms that were supposed to keep patients in.
(That one he made sure to keep to himself.)

But from what Hermione said, it seemed the notes from Draco had the effect she was hoping for.
But Ron ran out of the room before she could be sure.

Their plan would be easier if Kingsley lost his support.

While the Minister might be the most powerful man, Ron was now the most popular. And
popularity held a different kind of power.

They make it to the stairs, and start to climb up to the door.

“Here we go again. After this Teddy, I want to stay in bed for days.” She reaches over, and takes
the stick out of his mouth, and places it between her own.

“If our bed is still intact, you got yourself a deal, Gingersnap.”

He hadn’t been back to his rooms since before the Final Battle, but Ginevra went to get supplies
and also to feed Hermione’s hideous kneazle. She hasn’t come out and said it yet, but he is quite
aware of The Order’s lack of care for items and places they were using.

His rooms were left a mess no doubt.

How a mess? That was yet to be seen.

They couldn’t go back to his rooms after getting Hermione out of St. Mungo’s. The Aurors surely
searched there first. Instead, Blaise took them to one of Draco’s family properties in Italy that his
mother had purchased. It was a beautiful home. Not a manor at all like most of them grew up in.
Smaller in size, but warmer in Theo’s opinion. Not that any of them had been granted any time to
enjoy the new location, or a world not in the midst of a war anymore.

Not when Draco needed their help.

Ginevra holds the cigarette out, and releases her exhale to the side as some of the group lines up to
go through security.

Hermione stands, tapping her foot, watching the two of them with impatience as Theo waits for her
to finish the cigarette.

His witch smirks, and then holds out the stick towards Hermione. “You can finish it. You look like
you need it more than I do.”

Hermione rolls her eyes, and pauses before reaching out, and sucking in the nicotine. She takes a
long drag, closing her eyes as she holds it out of her mouth, and releases. Placing the stick in her
hand as the line of people moves forward.

The evil witch still holds the stick so fucking wrong.

And she even has all of her fingers so there is no excuse at this point.
She catches Theo glaring at her hand, and giggles before pressing the stick against the wall to
suffocate the end, then vanishes it.

They all push through security, and start to lead the group down to the designated courtroom
Minerva had been able to locate.

“Let the information speak for itself. The less we say, the better.”

They all nod their heads at their old professor as they start walking quickly.

Theo’s heart is beating with every step. His body, fighting against him at this moment. Reminding
him how much he hates conflict, and how he belongs underneath Gingersnap’s cloak in the back of
the line. Not in the front of the group.

But for his brother, he would do this.

And then, hopefully, never fucking again.

Like she knows how much he does not want to continue forward, he feels Ginevra’s hand slipping
into his as they walk.

They all turn a corner, and Theo stops as he sees Ron slumped against one of the walls in the
hallway. With a bottle of alcohol in one hand, and a vial in another.

One of Theo’s vials. He would recognize it anywhere because they are an absolute bitch to find.
But their design to keep the potions from dripping off of the edge was superior to the others. So he
had no qualms with importing them from the small apothecary in Switzerland anytime they were in
stock.

Why does Ron have one of my vials?

Especially one that looks like it holds a memory?

The whole group behind them also stops as they take in the redhead on the floor.

He looks worse than ever before. Maybe he relapsed? If the bottle he is twirling back and forth in
his hands was any indication, it seems he has.

What help was he going to be drunk? The git definitely lived up to Hermione’s description of him
in that state.

Hermione and Ginevra both start to move forward towards him, but Padma rushes past them both,
and kneels down in front of the man. Looking not surprised at all by the situation. She had been the
one Ginevra always conversed with to see how her brother’s recovery was going.

She seemed to have the best handle on him, and the addiction. A thought she proves as she rests
her hands over both of his. Making him finally look up and blink.

“Have you decided?” She whispers. Thumb moving up and down his pale and sweaty hands.

Ron lets out a deep breath as he looks between her eyes for a while before nodding softly, and
handing her the bottle of alcohol.
She takes it quickly, and holds it against her chest like she is bracing for him to grab at it again at
any moment.

Something Theo is sure she endured while trying to keep him sober.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, Ron slowly stands up, Padma helping him along the way, and looks back meeting
Hermione’s eyes.

The two of them continue to look at one another for a few moments. A lot being said without
anything being said at all.

“I believe you. And I’m sorry.” The words are weak, yet powerful.

Hermione’s shoulders jerk back, and her lips start quivering as he speaks.

“I really am so sorry ‘Mione. I didn’t… I didn’t see it.”

Ron squeezes his fingers around the vial as his gaze falls down to it.

What memory did he watch that would make him finally throw away everything he had been
holding onto for months?

Theo looks over to McGonagall to see a knowing smile on her face.

There is no way.

She wouldn’t have given him the mystery memory from Draco.

He wouldn’t even tell me what the memory was. No way would he want Weasley to know.

“Thank you, Ron.” Hermione's eyes are beginning to water, as his are as well.

“Have you watched this?” He holds out the vial in between them.

“No, I do not believe she has Mr. Weasley,” Minerva says as she starts to walk forward.

Ron runs his hand over his face quickly, and nods as he turns to walk the other way. “They just
started. These trials happen quickly so we should go.”

They all follow him down the hallway until they are outside a set of large wooden doors.

“Is that the memory you gave to Minerva back when I first took you to the safe house?” Ginevra
whispers into his ear.

“I think so. Draco never did tell me what it was.”

Ron pauses for a moment, closing his eyes, and taking in a deep breath before moving to open the
doors.

Hermione’s hand is instantly wrapping around his as Draco comes into sight.
Holy shit…

He looks terrible. Even when Potter used that curse on him in 6th year, he didn’t look as bad as he
does now. Slumping low in his chair. Chest rising up and down with sharp movements that indicate
some breathing issues. The picture of defeat.

Did you not think we would come for you brother? After everything you have done for all of us?

He is going to need murtlap, and bruise paste, and if Theo has to grow another fucking lung again
he is going to…

Wait is that a tattoo? Did they mark him again against his will?!

“I recant my testimony.”

Hermione and Ginevra’s hands squeeze his as they listen to Ron changing everything.

For once something happening in their favor.

But his body was dispelling the words in the same way one would a sickness. Having to lean
against the doorframe as they come out of him.

Looking like he is going to pass out.

“Ginny, he can’t stay for this.” Padma comes up beside them staring at Ron. Watching him try to
smile at Hermione as she touches his nose.

Padma is looking at the man with obvious concern. As someone should be. Because Draco isn’t
the only one that looks like shit.

Theo pulls his healing kit off of Ginevra’s shoulder, and searches the front pockets.

“Is he drunk?”

Padma shakes her head at his witch, and holds out the bottle of alcohol in her hands. “No he hasn’t
opened it, but… he is low Ginny. You can see it. He needs to be somewhere away from all this if
we don’t want him to relapse.”

Theo grabs three vials, and holds them towards her. He made sure his healing kit was fully stocked
before leaving.

“Here. These should help keep him calm, and help his nervous system. If you need more or
anything different, let Ginevra know and I can make them.”
She takes the vials into her hands as Ron turns, and starts walking back down the hall. Padma
gives Theo, and the group a soft smile as she backpedals and moves next to him.

“I really want to drink Pads…” Ron stops, and watches her throw the bottle of alcohol into the
nearest waste bin, before coming to stand beside him. She wraps one of her arms around him, and
helps him move towards the exit.

“I know, I know you do. It’s going to be okay.”

She moves her hands to rub his upper back as he slumps his head onto her shoulder, right before
they turn the corner.

“What the hell is shown in that memory…” Ginevra whispers.

Theo shrugs, honestly wondering the same thing. Whatever it was, he thinks he is glad it was
enough to convince Ronald. That is, until Theo takes in the look on Draco’s face as Minerva and
Hermione start moving down towards the court floor, bringing a large Pensieve along with them.

Theo knows that look.

He can only think of one specific memory that would warrant that look.

Oh shit.

No, it couldn’t be that one.

He drags Ginevra down with him. Trying to stay in front of the group. Watching Draco’s face
becoming angrier while also more fearful as the Aurors roughly pull him out of his chair.
“Granger, no, please. I don’t want you…”

“She will watch along with us, Mr. Malfoy.”

His brother’s face falls as the Aurors drag him up towards the Pensieve. His mouth opens and
looks at the tiny old man, but he says nothing. He opens his mouth again, and again, but no words
are coming out.

His chest hits off the edge of the Pensieve, and Hermione comes to stand on the other side, giving
Draco a confused expression at how he is acting.

Theo can see his body start to shake as the memory is tipped into the bowl.

“Shit…” Theo says underneath his breath.

“Teddy, what is going on? Why does Malfoy look…”

“I’m sorry.” Draco barely gets out before he is lowered.

As all of their heads dip into the bowl.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

It couldn’t be the memory. The mistake. The one action Draco had done that drove him to almost
killing himself multiple times over the six months she went missing. The one area Theo knew he
destroyed himself with if he didn’t keep it all occluded so far in his mind that he was numb to the
event and the people involved.

Including what he had done to her.

Including his mother.

Including the event.

The moment he lost a war he had been fighting for years.

The moment he failed them both in his eyes.

Theo suspected that Draco had never come clean about the Battle of Hogwarts to Hermione.

Every time he brought it up to the scary blonde over the past couple of months, he always had an
excuse at the ready for why he shouldn’t be telling her.

‘Her mind wasn’t safe for that information.’

‘She was carrying too much already.’

‘If he told her, it would make it very clear how strongly he always felt for her, and she isn’t even
sure what they are to each other yet.’

‘He was a coward.’

Always an excuse.

Theo could understand Draco’s hesitancy to share with Hermione at the beginning. It would have
been too much too fast. And he also could empathize with why Draco struggled to come clean
about it all.

But the man was so bloody frustrating with his loathing. Creating so many more problems than
needed. Because Theo knows, just as Draco does not blame him for his mother’s death, Hermione
will not blame him for what happened to her.

And Draco needs to hear that.

He needs to hear her forgive him more than anything in the world.

Even if they all believed no forgiveness was needed.

But the fear of the other possible reaction, the one Draco has convinced himself that he secretly
deserves, has apparently kept him from ever sharing anything of actual relevance with the evil
witch.

But while Theo believes Hermione needs to know the story, watching it for the first time, without
any warning of what she is about to see, would not be his choice.

Maybe he is wrong. Maybe it was one of the other dozens of secrets the man has.

Theo walks over to stand beside Minerva glaring at Kingsley, who is making a very similar facial
expression back.
“Is the memory of the Battle of Hogwarts?”

Please be wrong. Please be wrong…

Minerva breaks her silent war with Kingsley, and looks up at him. “Yes.”

He slumps. “Fuck…”

“Language, Mr. Nott.”

“How much?”

“The whole event.”

“Double fuck…”

“Mr. Nott!”

“Shit, sorry. I mean, just, sorry.”

Theo glances over to his two best friends again. Both, still under the Pensieve. She is seeing it. All
of it.

This is not going to be good.

He squeezes his eyes shut as the black dots start appearing on the edges of his vision. No. He can’t
do this right now. He can’t have a panic attack. They are both going to need him. Especially Draco.

A hand wraps around his forearm unexpectedly, and he jumps out of their grasp.

“Hey Theo, it’s me. It’s your Gingersnap. Here, sit down while we wait…”

Ginevra tries to move him over to a seat. Probably thinking about the healers suggestion to stay off
of his right leg. The one his father’s curse had traveled into the deepest. Like it was the first bloody
time he had taken a curse from his father.

“I’m fine, I swear, but they aren’t going to be.”

He can’t seem to make any of them understand that his body truly feels better than he remembers it
feeling for a very long time.

There had been plenty of severe wounds and attacks he had not been knowledgeable enough to heal
properly when he was younger. And those always hurt him as he grew up.

Always ached in some way or another.

But his body had felt that way ever since he reached the age to clearly articulate what pain was.

It was every breath.

Every move.

Every day.

And after a while, it just became what living felt like to him. What his normal was. Pain was
normal. Pain wasn’t actually pain anymore after so many years of the feeling. It was how
continuing on felt like to him.

It was how living felt.

Or so he thought.

Up until he woke up in the healing center to the bright lights, and a searing pain so intense,
breathing was no longer possible.

The quick idea of pain actually not being life, but being death, popping into his conscience before
the world went dark once more.

Then waking up to the deadly pain again.

Then more black.

Then little images in his head. Of red hair, and hazel eyes, and second chances, and pinky
promises.

Those were the only images he ever saw.

Even in the midst of the pain, they somehow overrode the feeling of death.

Thoughts of her.

Of the wicked witch currently manhandling him into a chair.

Clearly not believing what he had been continuously saying the last few days. How with the help
of other healing trained hands, he had been able to transition his body into a healthier form than it
had been in since he could remember.

Definitely before the fork.

“The healers said no long intervals of standing and…”

He grabs both of her hands in between his, and holds them together as he maneuvers around her.

“Ginevra, you have no idea what is about to happen. If she is watching what I think she is
watching, they are going to need me to…”

The sound of Draco wrenching over the side of the Pensieve cuts him off.

Theo rushes over, and tries to get to Draco, but the group of Aurors start to raise their wands at him
as he gets close.

He stops, and turns to see Hermione. Her head is up now, but staring down into the swirling liquid.
Her face is soaking wet.
Shitfuckdamnitbloodyhell!

Draco throws up again, bending over the side of the bowl. The entire Pensieve is making groaning
noises as his tremors travel from his body onto the object holding him upright.

Draco needs him.

Hermione needs him.

Theo digs into his healing kit, pulling out two calming draughts, and tries to walk forward again,
but the Aurors raise their wands higher.

The fact that at least five fucking wands are being pointed at him, and his best friends are both
moments away from possibly destroying themselves, has the black dots taking over more of his
vision than the anxiety-inducing scene in front of him, and the weight starts to press harder on his
chest.

“They… They aren’t okay. Look. I need to give them this. To help them calm down. To…”

“Uhhh I am not going to make it home in time for dinner am I?” The old wizard is pulling his head
out of the bowl, and yanking on his long white beard in frustration. He keeps muttering words
under his breath as he steps down from the stool, and walks over to the table where Kingsley is
sitting.

Draco falls to his knees at almost the same moment Hermione does. Both are unable to see one
another anymore due to the large object between them.

He is still vomiting.

And she is still crying.

And I am standing here doing absolutely fucking nothing !

“Expecto Patronum!” A flash of blue comes out of the old wizard’s wand, and forms into a small
pot-bellied pig that snorts awaiting a message.

“My darling, I am so sorry, but I have been held up at work, and will not make it home for our
celebratory meal. Please put a stasis charm on dinner as soon as you get this.”

He flicks his wand, and the pig squeals out of the room.

“Judge Horace, I assure you that whatever the memory showed, it can easily be explained to…”

The judge raises his hand towards Kingsley, cutting him off with a loud whistle. A large white owl
comes flying in, and lands on the table between them. He writes a quick note on the sheet of
parchment, and seals it magically before handing it to the owl who quickly grabs it with its talons,
and takes off out of the room.

“Bring him over, and clean up his mess.” The old wizard gestures towards Draco as he places his
glasses back on his nose.
The Aurors move to grab Draco by the shoulders which has him letting out a pained noise, but he
still stands and follows. Keeping his head down to the ground as he walks. Taking him farther
away from Theo, and one of many potions he desperately looks like he needs.

Look at me brother. This is not your fault! Stop telling yourself it is! Just wait, she will tell you.

As soon as the Aurors are out of his way, Theo runs over, and kneels down next to where
Hermione is still sitting on the floor. Staring ahead of her. Eyes darting back and forth at a rapid
speed, and tears silently continuing down her face.

Eyes that remind him of the other her. When she would switch.

She has been a lot better over the last couple of days. Fortifying and strengthening her mind with
occlumency even without Draco there to help her. And she was also remembering things correctly.
Slowly working through all the confusion and combinations.

Theo had told her story after story of the past couple of months. Letting her take the lead when a
memory would surface. Trying to study the affects Voldemort had left on her mind.

But most of the time, she would sit and listen to him. Sometimes nodding in acknowledgment,
writing down notes, or asking for breaks so she could catalog everything where it needed to go in
her mind.

Her switches were also happening less. The only area that seemed to cause them to happen dealt
with sexual matters.

Hermione had done this before. Theo knew she could do it again. Even if they were still trying to
understand what the Dark Lord damaged.

But for now, her mind worked enough as she said. Enough to be able to help Draco. To get him out
of this mess.

“Hermione, take this.”

He holds the vial up to her mouth, and she listens.

“Are you okay?”

“He… He did…” A whimper breaks her voice, and she moves her hand to cover her mouth as she
squeezes her eyes shut.

Please let me be right. Please see it…

Theo reaches out, and rubs her upper back a few times, hoping it helps calm her down like it had
when they first found her.

“It was all for me.”

She opens her eyes and looks directly into his, and he relaxes his shoulders at her words.

Thank Merlin, you brilliant evil witch.

You get it.

Now make the blonde throwing a temper tantrum get it as well.

“Minister, the memory I just observed, discredits your entire testimony that Draco Malfoy both
fought and maliciously attacked members of The Order, Ms. McGonagall here being your main
person of interest. And also makes your claim of his intent to capture, and use Ms. Granger for his
own personal gain speculative at best.” The judge rubs the bridge of his nose again, and scrunches
his eyes as he massages the skin. “I have also called in the rest of the head judges of the
Wizengamot, as I believe this case is more complex than it is being presented.”

Theo helps Hermione to stand, and join the others near the table as Minerva places the stack of
information they had been compiling down on the surface. She then gestures to Krum, who brings
over a bag full of memory vials.

“Yes Judge Horace, it is a much more complex situation than the minutes-long private trial Mr.
Malfoy here is being granted. As you will find within the statements and other gathered
information Ms. Granger and I have been compiling since his arrest. This situation is much bigger
than Mr. Malfoy. This is another example of Ministry negligence already beginning once again
under this new authority.”

“A Ms. Granger that by all accounts should be detained and placed back in St. Mungo’s for her
healing, correct Minister?”

Kingsley begins to shake his head in agreement towards the judge, but the action is abruptly
stopped, and his face that never seems to showcase emotion, falters slightly.

He grimaces, quickly making eye contact with a smirking Draco, before looking back towards the
older wizard.

Draco keeps smirking at the Minister like he is in on some secret. A secret that he thinks would
help Hermione not be imprisoned within the healing center again.

“Ms. Granger is in charge of her own health as I see it.”

The group of Aurors all visibly relax, and Hermione lets out a breath. They had a plan if Kingsley
tried to pull that shit. McGonagall had form after form on legislation against health decisions being
placed within the Ministry’s control, and supported references by outsourced healers not within the
ear of powerful men, that she was indeed not insane.

But the fact that the interim Minister was backing down before anything was needed was weird.

Something is off about this.

“More paperwork.” The judge reaches for the forms Minerva placed as he lets out a sigh, and starts
scanning them. Looking at the names of witnesses, and statements. “There is also the issue with
Mr. Malfoy here confessing…”

He did what now?!

Theo’s eyes jump to Draco who seems to have occluded everything behind his walls. His face is
hard in a way that it always gets when he goes deep. His blinks are happening a bit slower than
normal, and the spark in his eyes is dimmer.

Everything about him, that made him who he was, became less as it was caged in to protect himself
from himself.

Why did he confess? Why would he willingly ever say that he hurt Hermione?

“Is the memory true Mr. Malfoy?”

“Yes.”

Draco still doesn’t look up.

“Wha…” Theo covers Hermione’s mouth with his hand, cutting off her voice. They need to let this
play out. Not cut in right when this could possibly be made clear on its own.

The judge pushes his glasses up his nose. “Well, can you explain to me then…”

“How about we wait for the other members of the Wizengamot to arrive? The Aurors and I can
place Mr. Malfoy back in his cell until then.”

Kingsley gestures to the Aurors, and starts to stand. Too quickly in Theo’s opinion. Something is
up. He knew not trusting the man was a smart move on his part. Knew it from the moment he
spoke to Ginevra out in the yard of the safe house.

“I am trying to get a clearer picture of what is exactly happening here so I can share why I called
everyone back after work hours, Minister. And while yes, you hold some power, the Aurors answer
to the Wizengamot first if need be. So, as I was asking, Mr. Malfoy, can you explain how the
memory works into your confession?”

“Yes.”

His answer is automatic. Dull. Said with a bit of a force behind it, like the syllables are pushed out
of him.

They all wait for him to do what he just said, but he never opens his mouth to continue.

The judge groans and gestures towards Draco. “Well then, will you please continue?”

“Yes.”

But he doesn’t.
What the…

This isn’t right.

“Can you please respond with a different word than yes?”

“Yes.”

Theo hears Ginevra chuckle behind him.

But he is realizing this isn’t Draco being a prick, although he wouldn’t put it past him. Something
else is going on.

“Then how does the memory make sense with your confession Mr. Malfoy?”

“Yes.”

At this, the judge throws his hands up in the air, and slumps back in his chair. Hermione pulls
herself out of his hands before he can stop her, and moves over to the table right in front of Draco.

“Someone has made it so you only respond a certain way to the judge haven’t they?” She lowers
her face to see his that is staring down at his lap. He doesn’t look up to her. Because he has shut
down. Theo can see all the signs.

”Ms. Granger, please do not speak within this closed trial of…”

Aurors come up behind her as Kingsley speaks over her. They grab her arms and start pulling her
backwards away from the table.

”Look at the forms! Look and see…”

”That is enough, Ms. Granger! I…”

“Are all the questions on your forms for this trial yes or no questions?! Look just look!”

The judge sits up grumbling under his breath something about respect for elders, and whatnot as he
looks over the few sheets Kingsley handed him.

“Judge, she has endured heavy mental manipulation. We cannot trust…”

“Yes, actually, they all are…” The old wizard scans them quickly, and his eyebrows pull together
as he notices.

The man starts pulling at his beard again as he reads over the papers in front of him, and then scans
the first few off of the stack brought by Minerva and Hermione.

“Aurors, if you would, please escort interim Minister Shacklebolt to one of the secured recess
rooms, and also take Mr. Malfoy here back to his holding cell until the rest of the Wizengamot has
come for this emergency proceeding.”

Two of the Aurors move to Kingsley who is beginning to crack. Starting to struggle holding in
everything as he looks at the first sign of the loss of his control. Hopefully one of many.

The three others pull Draco’s chair back, and allow him to rise slowly on his own before walking
him out of the room.

"Can we..?"

The judge groans at Theo’s question, and stands to move to the first official who has entered the
courtroom.

"After he is secured, you may. The cells are all heavily surveyed."

Hermione is right on their heels. Clearly frustrated with the way Draco is acting, and not helping in
the slightest.

Theo looks back and finds Ginevra already reaching for his hand to start following after them.
They are forced to stop outside a set of secured doors as they place Draco back into his cell.

"What is going on Theo?"

As they wait in the hallway, Theo whispers the very short version of what Hermione had witnessed
to the witch.

Hermione paces back and forth in front of them the whole time. Twirling a curl around her finger,
as her shoes clap against the tile with her frustrated steps.

"Merlin’s saggy left tit… so he was… all the way back then?"

Theo scoffs and leans against the wall. "It has been happening since their first fight on that train
back in 1st year."

The doors leading to the holding cell open to show the area was secured, and Hermione takes off.

The two of them try to keep up, until they enter a long hallway with cell after cell.

Theo jerks his hand out of Ginevra's hold, and stops abruptly in the hall.

Staring ahead.

Feeling his body respond against the drop in temperature.

The absence of light.

The damp air.

The dark stone walls that start feeling like they are going to collapse on him.

The left room…

It was all too similar. Too black. Too quiet.

His breathing starts to become harder and shallower.

He can’t go into a space like this. Still, he can’t. It takes him back to being on that floor, and left in
conditions that were...
“Theo…”

He opens his eyes, he hadn’t realized he closed, to see his Gingersnap standing in front of him.
Holding out what she started to call his comfort cloak.

“Would it help if we used a Lumos spell, and you stood at the corner of the hall? That way you
could see the exit at all times?”

“Maybe.”

He wraps the cloak in his hands, as she says the spell, and her wand lights up the space. Theo’s
breathing becomes easier within seconds.

You are fine Theo. You are fine. She is here. There is a way out. You are not trapped.

He counts his breaths. In and out. Over and over again. Until the weight becomes manageable, and
then takes her hand in his.

“Are you sure you are okay?”

He nods, and pulls her forward towards Draco's cell.

He needs his wounds and injuries taken care of. More than Theo needs to get back into open
spaces with light.

As they turn the corner, and the guards go back to their posts, he sees Draco is plastered to the very
back of the cell. The farthest place he can get from Hermione who is holding on to the bars of his
cage.

“Draco, it’s going to be okay. Minerva and I have been compiling so much evidence against him.
And without Ron’s testimony, and his being proved invalid, we are going to get you out of here
okay? You will not be found guilty.”

The blonde hidden in the shadows says nothing. Doesn’t move or flinch. The only response being
his uneven breaths.

His breathing has Theo worried. Last time he had witnessed breathing like this, Hermione was
seconds away from death.

Theo walks over to Hermione, and starts pulling vials out of his bag. “Can you come over so I can
see what is happening in your lungs? And I have some murtlap, and Essence of Dittany, and pain
suppressant to help. Because you look like shit mate. I think I may look better than you finally.”

He pulls out all the jars and raises his head to see Draco still hasn’t moved.

Shit, he is deep.

“Draco, what are you doing? Everything is going to be okay. You are going to be free and…”
His scoff cuts off Hermione’s words.

It is a cruel sound. Bitter and hard. A part of Draco that he usually fought against being, and
succeeded most of the time nowadays. As long as he wasn’t backed into a corner, or wasn’t
occluding too deeply.

Like he is now.

“Leave, Granger.”

She flinches, and her mouth drops open slightly at his cold response. Hermione seems confused.
Thrown off by his distant demeanor. But Theo isn’t. He knows what he is doing, and why he is
doing it.

He had put up with Draco being like this for six fucking months on and off as they searched for
her. As the worst case scenarios played in his head. As he convinced himself she was dead. Even
when they did find her, and learned the hell she had been going through, he had to force the blonde
to occlude it all away to be able to be in her presence. Only letting his walls slip every now and
again.

“What? No, why do you want me to leave? After everything I just saw, why would you want me
to…”

“It is because of everything you just saw that I need you to leave. Now. Theo take her out of here.”

Theo shakes his head, and rolls a couple of the vials through the bars towards the back corner
where he is. Hoping he will take them. Of course the fussy dragon does not.

“Not in agreement, Draco, and you know it. I’ve been telling you since the beginning to tell her,
and that she wouldn’t blame you.”

Hermione’s eyes start to water for a moment, and she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth like Theo
has learned was a sign that an ugly cry was more than likely about to happen. But before she makes
a noise or a tear falls, her face changes. It turns into one he has seen before.

Oh bloody hell… here we go…

She squeezes her hands around the bars. “No. Like you told me, we didn’t come all this way for
you to give up now. To pull away from me now. It is too late for that and...”

“Stop talking.”

“…And I am so sick of all the damn secrets Draco! I asked for no secrets months ago, and you
promised to tell me when you could, yet you never told me everything you did for me. The truth of
the Battle and…”

“Stop talking!”

“…The trust I had in you. Even before we fell in love. Even before you saved me, and…”

All three of them jump, and Theo instinctively pulls Hermione back into him at the sound of
Draco’s fists hitting off the bars above her head.
“I said stop fucking talking! I didn’t save you, Granger! I ruined you! All of this, everything that
was done to you, is my fucking fault!”

Anyone else, even Ginevra and himself would be stepping away at the man in front of them. At the
raw anger and fury written all over his face as he spats the words with disdain.

But of course the evil witch Theo is trying to hold back doesn’t. Instead, she lunges forward and
raises her chin so her face is more aligned with his sneer. So close, Draco’s short hard breaths are
moving her curls.

“It was not your fault! You didn’t have another choice, Draco!”

“That doesn’t take away the pain from deciding, Granger! Of having to live with myself after
doing something that… that maybe led him to you. That gave him the opportunity. That wasn’t
enough.”

“What are you talking about? It was more than enough, it was everything! The war didn’t end
there because you told me how to escape. We are all standing here today because of that
information you gave me.”

Draco shakes his head, and lets out a bitter laugh towards the ceiling.

“The ends to the means do not make them any less prevalent! Just because we won this war, does
that mean you shouldn’t feel the pain of what you had to go through to get to this moment? So
because we still breathe, that makes everything we have had to do okay? It is my fault. Everything
that happened to you… I, I played a role in it all.”

“You did not! You didn’t Draco!” She moves her hands to rest over his. Grasping the bars so
tightly as if they are the only things keeping him up. “You are not responsible for what Dolohov
chose to do to me. You are responsible for staying true to what you promised me. You saved me,
you found me, and…”

His hands shoot out, and grab the sides of her face, pulling it closer to his. Making her stand on her
tiptoes to somehow keep balance with his tight grip on her head. Hermione lets out a slight noise as
he pulls her face up to his. Stopping right before their noses touch one another.

“I did not fucking find you. I never found you. Theo found you. Theo healed you. Theo saved you.
I made you cry, and switch, and fear me. And I should have let you.” She whimpers again as Theo
sees Draco’s hand twitch, digging into her cheeks. He blinks, and all of a sudden, the anger
disappears. Only leaving the guilt behind as his fingers let off in pressure, and he starts moving
them up and down the reddened skin. No longer meeting her eyes. “I should have been less selfish
with you and your ignorance.”

The two stare at each other. As she starts to quickly work through what he just said.

What he admitted to. To the uncertainty of a future carrying everything that he did. How hard it is
to keep breathing with guilt and regret always a part of you.

“We all have had to hurt, and break, and make hard decisions with one another Draco. You are not
the only one. Every one of us has been forced to take pieces from each other to ensure we survived,
even though all we have been fighting for was to stay whole. I chose alongside you to pay that cost.
We all did as we fought together.”

Hermione’s hands move up to hold his, as Draco falls forward and rests his forehead against hers.
Squeezing his eyes shut, and breathing harshly.
“But now you know Granger. It… I can’t… I could keep my grief caged when it was mine alone to
bare. But the knowledge of you knowing… It hurts to look at you. How am I supposed to live
when I am unable to look at the person I love without it hurting?”

Theo sees a tear travel down the side of Hermione’s face as she nods her head in
acknowledgement. They all carry what Draco is expressing. They have all thought it one time or
another over the past couple of years. How even if they won, it was no longer a personal victory.
They would never be granted the same freedom from the past as others. Not after everything.

"We figure out the complexities of why it hurts, and we heal them as best we can. Slowly.
Together. With time. With love becoming stronger than the hurt. Please let us become more than
all of this. Please."

Draco doesn’t say anything back or look at her, but he doesn’t pull away as she pushes back a few
strands of his hair.

Maybe he will take these now.

Theo digs into his healing kit, pulling out a pain suppressant first, and walking over to stand closer
to them.

Hermione takes the vial from his hands, and uncorks the top to pour it down his throat.

“I, I never planned on how to live after this. With all this.” He opens his mouth and swallows the
potion before continuing to speak. “With what I had to do to you.”

“Do you blame me for your mother’s death?” Theo cuts in. His brother blinks his one eye, and
looks taken aback.

“What?”

“Is it my fault your mother died?”

He already knows Draco’s answer. He had told him time after time that he didn’t blame Theo for
not finding his mother before she was killed. That the blame fell entirely on the Dark Lord who
cursed her to death for lying about Harry’s demise.

But Theo’s mind liked to lie to him. To blame him instead. Because now looking back, there are so
many things he could have done differently, better, if he would have known. He should have
moved quicker. Stopped his overwhelming fear that made him hide more than was needed. He
could have looked harder. Been smarter about the battlefield.

Theo still berates himself over not thinking how Voldemort would keep her close after the family’s
failures at the manor not long before.

He should have thought about that.

He should have known.

He could have saved her.

Instead of finding her in the midst of one of the final curses destroying her body. Watching her
slump to the ground. Him waiting, and wasting precious seconds that turned into minutes as the
Death Eater forces moved back to the makeshift meeting tents before rushing to her. Turning her
over and casting the diagnostic charm to see nothing. No pulse, no intake of air. Dead. Gone.

Death: 1 Theo: 1 at that point.

“Of course it isn’t Theo.”

“I still feel guilt over it. That and also beating the shit out of you Hermione.” He hands Draco
another potion, and casts a diagnostic charm onto his chest.

Okay, just a bruised rib. Thank Merlin. Growing Hermione’s lung was my least favorite procedure
I have done. Even worse than the pinky.

“I think of all the what if’s over and over again sometimes. How I could have turned right instead
of left. How I should have moved to her quicker, or hid less. Or punched you lighter. Or silently
used backwards disillusionment charms to make wounds over you. Or…”

“I didn’t even turn around after obliviating you, Hermione. If what happened to her is anyone’s
fault, it is mine, ferret. Not yours.”

They all turn and face Ginevra who is rubbing back and forth against her chest. Theo can see her
skin already flushing, even in the dim light of the Lumos spell.

“I ran without looking back once. Even though I knew you weren’t going to make it. The only
thing my mind was letting me focus on was Harry. Was getting to that safe house, and seeing that
you were wrong, and that he was alive and breathing. I should have said no. We should have tried
harder to fight them off. I should have been able to push past my shock and grief like you did
Hermione, and been helpful. I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t have left you.”

They all stare at the redhead as she slumps against the wall, and kicks the dirt with her shoes. It
wasn’t fair, all of the hard things they were put through. All to fight a war none of them really
wanted to be a part of, but were forced to in one way or another.

“I obliviated, and lost my parents for the rest of my life. I stole their choice in the matter, and
placed my wants before their freedom of choice. And I put you all in those positions. I did. One
way or another. So the guilt is mine as well.” She hands Draco another vial, before he finally looks
up at her.

They stand looking at one another for a long time. Having some type of silent conversation Theo
could not follow.

Her face tilts into a small smile, and she moves to push back his hair again, as he nods and
swallows another potion. “I guess this war has made us all silver.”

Hermione moves, and brings his mouth down to meet hers. Draco hesitates for a moment, face
looking in pain, like he is trying to fight against something. But as she tilts to the side, he gives in.
Following her movements by wrapping his arm around her waist, and pulling her as close as he can
with the bars in between them.
About damn time.

“Now this looks more accurate. You two kissing between bars.”

The pair are too busy snogging hard to join him in laughing at Ginevra’s joke. But luckily, not hard
enough to miss the sound of the door down the hallway opening. Hermione moves back first, and
takes a few steps away from Draco to come stand next to him and Ginevra.

"You are going to be okay. We will save you. Like we always do."

The Aurors gesture for the three of them to leave before they transport Draco, and they start
walking back to the courtroom.

He is going to be okay.

There is no way they could find him guilty.

The rest of the Wizengamot must have arrived if the increasing noise of voices was anything to be
considered.

And from the sounds of it, things didn’t seem to be going smoothly.

“There are over 400 pieces of parchment. 47 witnesses. Dozens of memories… I agree with
Horace. We need to open an investigation into…”

“…He is the Malfoy heir. I feel like you all are forgetting that. Pureblood nobility. A nobility and
way of life that has existed outside the war for centuries, and she is a Mud…”

“…We do not use language like that within my courtroom, Anagus. There is enough here by any
account to re-evaluate and assess…”

The doors open, and the voices and heat from all of the new bodies now compacted in the room,
hit Theo. Dozens of wizards and witches now sit in the chairs surrounding the open court floor
arguing back and forth. Listening to no one and everyone at the same time. Minerva is sitting in the
front. Rubbing her hand against her forehead at the chaos surrounding her.

But all of the voices stop as Draco is led back onto the court floor, and an adjacent door opens,
bringing Kingsley into sight. The two men are sat in chairs facing one another, and Judge Horace is
handed a piece of parchment from the man next to him. He scans the results and nods before
coughing into his hand and rising.

And both of Theo's hands are grabbed at the same time. One shaking much more than the other.
He looks over to Hermione who is staring at no one but Draco as the judge begins to speak.

“We have deemed by majority vote to open an investigation into the handling of Draco Malfoy’s
case against Hermione Granger…" The brunette lets out a noise, and Theo has to hold her up from
buckling to the floor.

"...and also an investigation into the evidence brought forward of possible nefarious political and
magical actions. Both investigations will start immediately. Until a verdict is reached, Mr. Malfoy
will be placed on parole and under Auror watch. Mr. Shacklebolt will hold his title while being
relieved of all responsibilities until he is found either guilty or not guilty…”
“Wait, what does that mean?” Ginevra asks, as Hermione begins to sob. Theo pulls her into his
side, and wraps his arm around her to help her stay up.

It means that they will be reviewing everything. It means Draco was being granted a fair trial. It
means Kingsley was about to be held responsible for actions he never thought would come to light.

It means you get to come home with us today brother .

Their old professor already told them that this would be the most likely outcome for today. The
best outcome they could realistically hope for. There was so much to work through that the
Wizengamot would have to open investigations into both areas that were tied together. And that
would take time.

But time they had now. For the first time in a long time, attention could be given to areas other
than doing what was needed to survive.

Minerva stands up as the judge continues to talk about more specifics. She rests her hand against
Draco’s good shoulder, and whispers into his ear something that he slightly acknowledges before
she stands upright, and walks over to them.

“It will take some time for them to sort out the truth here, but he will be found not guilty.”

Hermione nods her head, and pulls away from Theo’s chest to wipe away her tears.

“As we discussed earlier, he must stay within house arrest until then, and has to go through the
release process before leaving the building this evening.”

“We will stay in my rooms for the night.”

Minerva nods, and points out the back doors, as the Wizengamot sets up task forces and leaders
within each investigation. “Second door down is where you will need to go to set that up. It is
probably going to be a while before he is released and…”

“I’ll stay and wait for him. You two go set up your rooms, Theo.” Hermione says the words still
facing Draco.

Theo notices that Kingsley now has the same posture as Draco. His shoulders are bent, and he is
staring at the ground before him. Trying to stay composed. More than likely searching his mind for
some move he could take that would get him out of this mess.

The problem with Kingsley was he didn’t expect all the little lies he made up his false reality with,
to ever catch up with him. That he took so little from most people, that they didn’t even notice what
was missing, or what was the lie. It was war after all. And during war, it is very hard to work
through what is criminal and what is survival.

Theo turns away from the last monster he hopes he has to deal with. The newspaper clipping that
had referenced Alecto Carrows ‘escape’ still bounced around in his mind, but the prick in the chair
would never say a word to him when it had been brought up. He hopes his suspicions are wrong.

“You sure you don’t want us to stay and…”

“I’m sure. It’ll be easier if you guys set up everything. Be ready with more healing materials when
we get back too please.”

Theo agrees with the evil witch’s thought process, and gives her a half smile before turning to
leave.

Ginevra smirks down at The Order leader and salutes him before grabbing his hand and following
to help set up what Draco would need.

It turns out the judge was right. Theo keeps thinking this as he flips the 23rd sheet, and signs his
name in binding magical ink who knows how many times.

Now Theo can honestly say he understands the old judge’s begrudged attitude toward paperwork. It
really is the worst.

He reaches the last one, and holds the forms out to the young secretary whose mouth is hanging
open as she keeps looking back and forth between the area where his pinky should be, and then
looking over to Ginevra’s hand. He waves the forms in front of her face, and she blinks and moves
to collect them.

“Uh sorry.” She takes the forms, and then places a square box on top of the counter. “Just press the
top, and the magic will take care of the rest.”

Theo puts the box into his kit, and they make their way out of the Ministry building. As they open
the doors, Theo watches as people walk down the pavement, open doors into shops, and stop to
smile and converse with one another.

Life is happening again for some people. It looks almost normal now. Like the last few years had
never happened. And it is one of the weirdest things he has ever seen. How quickly things tried to
be normal again. How much society wanted the lie of normalcy.

“Okay Teddy, hold on.”

She grabs both of his shoulders, and apparates them back to his family manor.

The spinning stops, and this time, no one ends up in a rose bush, or against the rock he knows
Draco and Hermione defiled. A rock he would never be touching again. They walk hand in hand up
to his childhood home, and he fights not to cast the detection spell to see if anyone is there.

When he opens the door, he pauses for a moment out of habit.

Waiting.

Listening.

Trying to hear if his father was home.

Before he realizes his mistake.

He doesn’t have to worry about that anymore.

“What are you doing?”

Theo blinks, and looks over to his witch who starts pulling him up the stairs. He doesn't have to try
to step in the pattern he learned that made the least amount of noise. Doesn’t have to take off his
shoes, or count his steps to safety.
Doesn’t have to put the cloak on.

It is an odd feeling.

One he thinks should feel better.

But instead, the worry is still there. The anxiety that controls his breathing is present as he
convinces himself he is forgetting something. Some monster. Somewhere. There has to be.

Ginevra stops outside his doors, and Theo flinches as he doesn’t feel the wall of years upon years
of wards compiled around the area.

Around his 11 rooms.

“It… It’s bad Theo. I didn’t want to worry you before. We had enough on our plates as it was, and
all of your collection pieces are fine, but everything else has been…”

“Open the door, Ginevra.”

She gives him a face before turning the knob, and slowly opening.

Shit…

Bad was an understatement. Theo would go as far as to say that the shit house The Order officials
had used for months was in better condition than his safe space currently is.

There had been countless Order members moving in and out of his rooms during the Final Battle,
and the days following. And while he will forever be grateful for the back up actually coming, he
thinks they could have at least not torn through his home with the same vengeance.

Everything is out of its designated space. Every damn piece of furniture seems to be broken, and
trash, and who knows what else is all over the place.

“The Order used your rooms as an infirmary after the battle I think.”

The medical waste, blankets, and stained areas of blood make that obvious to him. He walks, and
peers into Hermione and Draco’s room to see it in even worse shape.

One of the posts of the canopy bed is broken off, and the curtains are falling apart, and…

Oh no!

“They destroyed our tent!”

Theo says as he points down to the shrunken heap of their beautiful creation.

He is pissed. No pissed isn’t even the right word. Now he is angry. He and Hermione had just
perfected the structural capabilities of the loft to ensure it could hold two people instead of one
right before the Final Battle. Theo planned on trying to add another loft for Hermione’s mangy
four legged creature to sleep in. Not that it would have done any good, since the kneazle always
seemed to prefer to sleep next to Draco.

But still.

“Really? Your expensive rug is ruined, and yet you are upset over the tent?”

“We made it Gingersnap! I had plans.”

She laughs at him, obviously not understanding how serious of a matter this was. He looks up to
the mantle to see his first edition Hogwarts: A History, and his stomach goes up into his throat.

“My library, my books. We didn’t ever…”

“I did Teddy. All of your books are in perfect condition, and we will build a new tent I promise.”

He sighs, and reaches for her waist to bring her mouth to his. Kissing her slowly, and in a way that
has become a part of him now.

She laughs lightly against his lips, and it makes him smile as he tilts her head, and tastes her before
pulling back.

“You are exceptional, Gingersnap.”

She smiles again, and he pecks her one more time before pulling out the magical device that he
needs to set up to allow Draco to stay in the area.

In all of his research he had never seen a device like this. A large metallic box that responds as he
presses against the top, opening and sparking golden lines that look similar to the ones that appear
when taking an Unbreakable Vow. The lines spin and travel against the walls of his rooms, and
seem to map out the area. They disappear down the halls and corners, before coming back and
conforming into the box.

The square container itself becomes immovable though as it shuts. Something Theo was not aware
would happen. Because now the damn thing is smack dab in the middle of the hallway. Not the
most convenient spot to say the least.

“Well, I guess we will see if it worked or not when they get here. Not that we are going to be able
to stay here for long.” He stands up, and shoots Ginevra a half smile, but she seems to be looking
right through him. Theo pushes his hair back out of his eyes, and carefully steps over the box to see
the state of the kitchen. “I think after tonight, we should see if we can have Draco move with us to
the property in Italy, and maybe…”

“I love you, Theo.”

His feet falter, and he has to place a hand against the wall. He waits. Staring ahead. Completely
silent. Because he has already convinced himself he has heard her wrong, and is not about to make
a fool of himself right now in this moment. Not when he…

“Theo?”

Oh shit, she isn’t going to let me get away with it.

He gulps loudly. Heart racing. “Yeah?”

“I said I love you.”

She loves him.

He heard her right.

She is saying she… loves me. Not likes me like last time .

And why does her saying that word feel so much different than when Hermione said it? Giving
him the confusing urge to run away honestly. Maybe because this was an I love you weighed down
with intimacy. Or so he thinks. They kiss, and touch, and are allowed places on each other’s bodies
that no one else is, so Theo would classify all of that as intimacy.

Plus Theo has known he loves her. Him loving her was not new information he was having to
process. He tries to remember if there was an exact moment for him when he knew. Trying to
pinpoint when the word popped into his head, but he can’t remember there being one.

Instead he thinks it just happened.

Slowly, within all the small moments, transforming like into love.

“But… You love Harry.”

Her smile drops slightly, before she moves closer to him, yet nods her head in understanding. He
has to make sure she knows that he doesn’t need this. Not now. If she didn’t have the ability to feel
for him in that way yet, with everything she has been through, he understands.

If Harry held that part of her, it didn’t matter to him. Who she was now was enough.

“I do. But I love you too.” She moves her fingers over their pinky on her left hand, and lets out a
light giggle before shrugging her shoulders. “I never thought I would ever love again after him. I
thought it wasn’t possible to have room, but I do.” Her beautiful light hazel eyes look up and meet
his. Because these words are for him. Only for him. “You… Your life combined with mine makes
more room than I ever thought I had. And I think…” His witch pushes the wavy curl out of his eye
and smiles. “What an honor it is to be given a chance to fall in love twice.”

She loves me.

She loves me.

Me.

For some reason she loves me, and for some reason I am not snogging her silly right fucking now.
"The…"

He snaps back out of his head, and lunges towards her as she is still speaking his name.

She gasps quickly before his lips consume her again. Pressing into her with no fear. No hesitation.
His body and mind both welcome her. The feel of her skin, and the warmth of her tongue, and the
sound of her enjoying this as much as him. All make his breath hitch in the back of his throat as the
one word keeps repeating over again in his mind.

Theo is kissing the woman he loves, and she loves him back for some reason. Even though she has
seen what he looks like without the charm over his body, and has witnessed what he can become
when nervous or afraid. Unlike everyone else in his entire life, she sees something of worth in him.
Even though Theo still struggles to see it within himself most days, having someone like her say it
isn’t true, makes him think maybe she is right.

Maybe he was worth loving.

Theo grabs the back of her neck while his other hand moves to her arse and pushes her entire front
to his. Molding them together.

She loves him. What does that mean then? Would she stay with him? Would she spend a lot more
time with him? All of the alone time with him? He wants her to. He has wanted her to never leave.
She came into his life and changed everything. Woke him up from the complacency he had
accepted as the best he would ever feel, and showed him how much bigger his life could be. With
her.

He moves his mouth to her neck, and sucks in the skin that feels like a part of him now.
Somewhere along the way, she had become ingrained in him more than anyone else ever has. That
without her with him, he wasn’t whole.

Ginevra lets out a soft moan as Theo licks the spot he has learned she likes so much. Right along
her collarbone, following the heavy area of freckles that form over the skin.

“Yes right there Theo, can I…”

“Do. Don’t ask. You don’t have to ask anymore.”

“Aye aye captain.”

She listens automatically, and threads her hand through his hair, pulling at the nape of his neck as
he continues to consume her.

He pushes her backwards, picking her up to make sure she doesn’t trip on the poorly placed parol
object, and into their room. It is destroyed as well, but the bed seems to be intact as he throws her
onto it. No creaking noises, or sudden snaps as she laughs and bounces. He crawls quickly on top
of her, and smashes their lips together again.

I want you. All of you. Every single piece of you.

He was tired of waiting, and letting fear control the possibilities of connections. Not with her. Fear
had no place in the trust he has with her.
Theo sits up, and reaches with his one hand behind his back, and starts pulling off his shirt.

Ginevra’s eyes widen as he willingly, without hesitation, pulls the material off and over his head.

He moves down to the button on his trousers, and sees for some reason his delicious witch is not
following his movements.

Theo tilts his head at her shirt as he unzips. “What?”

Her confused face doesn’t change, and Theo tries to think past the adrenaline coursing through
him. Of his body trying to draw all of his focus to in between his legs. Why was she hesitating?
Did he do something wrong? Had he said something incorrectly back to her life changing words?
Or did he…

Wait, Theo boy, fuck!

You didn’t say it back you moron!

“Wait, I never said it back, did I?” He lifts himself off of her, and straightens his arms as he shakes
his head back and forth at his utter stupidity. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I said it. I said it so many times in
my head. It is the only thing in my head. Just keeps forming in different ways, and with…”

Fuck, I am rambling. I am nervous rambling this entire moment to hell.

I am ruining…

Her sweet and sincere laugh breaks his self-destructive thoughts, and her hand against his cheek
makes him look down at her face smiling up with heavy amusement.

“I love you, Theo.”

He releases the breath he was holding as she pulls his face down to hers. Overwhelmingly grateful
that she gets him. That she understands, and is giving him another chance.

“I love you too, Ginevra.”

He kisses her again, moving and tilting every time he finishes the mantra of her name, and that
word in his head. Matching the pace of his bouncing thoughts, until she holds his face to hers, and
makes him slow down. To try to get him to calm down. To focus on the way her lips give with his
own. The skin-prickling feeling that makes his head go quiet as she presses her tongue into his. As
her reassuring noises of enjoyment vibrate into his stomach.

He reaches in between them, and pulls his zipper down the rest of the way, while at the same time
pulling the hem of her shirt up and over her head.

That same surprising expression is over her face again as her head pops through the fabric.

“Teddy, are you wanting… Are you sure?”

He pulls down his trousers with his briefs, and kicks them off with his leg. He is done with
waiting. With letting fear get in the way of things he wanted. He had almost died. Truly died
without ever experiencing this. And while it used to not bother him in the slightest to be a virgin,
now having someone he wanted to do these things with, who cared about him, who he trusted
more than anyone else in the world…

“I am not wasting a second of our second chance, Gingersnap.”

He is completely naked for the first time, as he lays himself on top of her again, and pulls down the
straps of her bra. He looks into her eyes and doesn’t stop. “I trust you. I love you. With all of me I
will love you, if you let me.”

She answers by moving to pull her pants down as well. “Please, yes please. Fuck, I love you.”

He lifts up, and slides her legs out of the material. Throwing them on the floor next to the rest of
their clothes. Looking down at his beautiful bare woman. Theo grabs one of her ankles, bringing
her leg up to his face, and starts trailing kisses down the inside. Moving his body up above her own
slowly, and feeling the areas where her warm and soft skin is touching his.

And the fear is nowhere.

There is no room for it with her.

He sucks in the skin between her cunt, and her inner thigh before sliding his body up so he can see
her. So his body is forming perfectly with her own.

“Do you know the charm?” She says as she reaches over to grab her wand.

A charm.

A…

Oh shit, it has been months… you think I would have learned that one by now.

“Uhh no sorry.”

She sits up on her elbows and he sits back on his knees, pulling her long thin legs up over his
thighs. Looking down at his cock inches away from her.

From where he could be inside her.

He gulps loudly again.

“The potion is still good, but I will need another one soon. Here, give me your hand and I'll teach
you.”

She wraps their fingers together around her wand, and waves it in a simple movement above her
abdomen as she says the spell. Nothing happens, but she tosses the wand out of sight and starts
running her hands up and down his chest, moving herself farther up his thighs.

“Is that it? How do you know if it worked? It should flash or…”
She thrusts her hips, and her wet center meets the sensitive skin of his length, and he moans loudly.
His voice cuts off, and he catches himself with his upper arm as she does it again.

There is no way he is lasting long. No way whatsoever. He hasn’t had any release since before the
Final Battle, and even then, when it was her hands and mouth, he was only able to last a few
minutes.

The thought sickens him. This isn’t fair. Not for her. To allow him inside of her, and then come in
fucking seconds. What would she gain from giving him this…

“Theo, it’s okay. I want to do this. It’s your first time.” Ginevra pulls herself up by his shoulder to
straddle his lap. To make him look at her as she is speaking. “This means something to me too.
This isn't about orgasming okay? We will get there, and we will have a lot of fun on the way I
promise. I want this. I want to experience you inside me. Please…”

She kisses his jaw, and then sucks down the skin of his neck, trying to show him what she means.
And he thinks he gets it. She was giving a piece of herself to him. And he to her. He had done that
before. He could relate.

But bloody hell do I promise to have you screaming by the end of this.

Ginevra lets go of his shoulder, and falls back down on the bed. Theo grabs her legs and brings her
closer to him. She carefully grabs his cock and starts stroking, making him hiss through his teeth as
he watches her hand move up and down. Her other hand goes in between her legs, collecting her
arousal, and then spreads it all over his cock.

This is already becoming too much. He really was an easy man to please. Too easy.

“Do you want to do it?”

He nods his head and moves to grab her hip, while holding out his cock in the other.

This is it.

There wasn't a more intense form of contact or touching than this.

I can do this. I want to do this. Nothing about her is a fork.

He slowly pushes himself in between her folds, and feels the warmth of her surrounding his tip.

There is still a lot of him left to push into her. Too much left. Theo quickly looks at the length, and
then her stomach, and convinces himself there is no way all of him would fit inside of her.

He will just put half in. That still counted that…

“Fuck Ginevra!”

He grinds out the words as he gets lost in moving into her a bit farther. Feeling what she feels like
inside.

Because he is inside of her.

Her.

Gingersnap.

So warm, and tight, and all surrounding that it sends a tingle up his spine, and makes goosebumps
appear on his neck.

We are having sex.

Holy hell, I am inside of her.

He looks back down to where they are now together. To where a part of him is disappearing inside
of her, and he pushes forward some more, groaning the entire time as he watches her body take all
of him.

Somehow the wicked witch took all of him.

“You are magic.”

He doesn’t know what to do now, with him planted all the way inside of her. Feeling her
surrounding him. He wants to move. His hips pull back, and then forward slowly.

The black spots appear in his eyes as he feels her walls drag against his length. He wants more of
her. He wants to be immersed by all of her. It feels too distant sitting up. Her body contact too far
away.

Theo bends himself down to fit perfectly on top of her, moaning as his cock twitches at the new
angle, and having her squeeze in return.

“I’m inside you.” He meets her eyes that seem a bit glazed as she smiles, and moves his hair out of
his eye.

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“I’m a part of you. And… you’re a part of me.”

He pulls back and thrusts into her, and they both let out a moan. He moves again, but the sight of a
wet trail coming from the crease of her eye, and disappearing down into her hairline makes him
freeze.

Is she… Oh no… Oh shitshitshit.

His face must be showing what he is thinking because Ginevra lets out a whimpering noise, and
starts shaking her head back and forth, while pulling him closer to her.
“No, no Theo. You are not hurting me. I am loving this. I am loving you so, so much that it is
overwhelming in a good way. I..” She blinks and Theo watches two more tears escape her eyes.
“You are a part of me. A huge part of me. And I love you.”

Theo moves down and kisses her lips that are shaking. Feeling her arms wrap around his back, and
hold him flush against her. Like she can’t get enough either. Like somehow they still aren’t close
enough.

His lips leave hers, and take in the tear on her left cheek. “I know. I understand.”

He thrusts.

His lips move to the other cheek, and he tastes the salty fluid again. “I love you so much Ginevra.”

He thrusts again, and the familiar feeling begins in his lower abdomen.

Fuck! Not yet. Not yet.

“It’s okay. Don’t fight it Theo. I want you to come. Come inside me. Please, I need to see what you
look like coming inside me.”

Well shit, if he wasn’t close before, he surely is now.

He grinds every part of him in her, and against her. Holding onto her hip as he hears the sound of
them coming together above the grunts, and breathy noises leaving the two of them.

This is great.

This is incomparable.

Ginevra starts doing this motion with her hips, as her hand yanks at his hair, and he can’t hold back
anymore.

“I’m coming, I, I love you. Fuck, I love you.” He says as he crashes his mouth into hers.
Consuming her fluids as she consumes his.

Their skin is shaking, and sweaty, and everything Theo usually can’t stand about contact. But right
now, he can easily say he has never felt more safe in his entire life.

I don’t know if I have ever truly felt safe before… I think this is it.

He rests his forehead against hers as they stare at one another, and he comes down from the best
orgasm of his life. He pushes back the red strands of her hair that are sticking to the side of her face
as she matches his breathing. Their chests rising and falling together. Eyes blinking at the same
time, and corners of their mouths going up in unison.

“As good as you thought it would be?” She whispers, tracing his lips with her finger back and
forth.
He opens his mouth, and sucks in the digit. Twirling his tongue around it, and noticing her cunt
clenching in response around his cock that is still inside her.

“Better. But I wish I was better for you.”

“You will be. It was your first time. We will learn together.” She kisses the tip of his nose, as he
releases her finger. “We have all the time.”

“I want to build a house.”

The words come falling out of him. He hadn’t planned on saying that. He doesn’t even know
where the idea came from. His brain is currently overloaded with heavy words, and big ideas, and
strong emotions and he needs to let it out. It is all way too much to be stuck inside his head.

“You… want to build a house?”

He nods his head as he slowly pulls out of her, and starts kissing her breasts. His mind is now
taking off with the idea.

Because it is a great idea. We need to do it. We need to do it now.

“Will you build a house with me?” His lips move to her ribs. “Will you stay with me? I don’t want
to be alone without you again.” He sinks his tongue into her bellybutton, and she squirms under
him. “We can move. And you can buy as many ugly pieces of clothing from the catalogs as you
want. Hell, you can buy whatever you want. As much as you want. I don’t care. If we need more
space I’ll build another room. More than 11 this time. Maybe 20 or 30.” Theo twists his arm
underneath her leg, and pulls it to the side. Opening her up fully for him. “We can move my
collection too, and I already have a few buyers for more furniture. Unless you don’t like my style. I
think it is better than a bean bag, but Blaise seems to think…”

His voice cuts off as he looks down, and sees something he has never seen before. He has been
between her legs plenty of times now. It is by far his favorite place to be. But he has never seen it
combined with him. Seeping out the evidence of what they had just done. He can’t help but stare at
it.

She starts laughing before sitting up to look at him. “Yes Teddy, I would love to build a house with
you. I want a big yard though. Plenty of space to fly. And a huge shower. Bigger and more…” Her
voice fades as she takes in his expression as he watches him leak out of her. “Sorry, grab my wand,
we can clean it up before you…”

“Fuck no.”

Theo moves his hands into the combination of both of them at her entrance. Watching it smear into
her is doing something to him. Something he has never felt before, that has him inserting his finger
inside of her to push it all back in.

That’s where it belongs.

In her.
Always in her.

“Fuck me…” Her body slumps back on the bed, and Theo takes that as a sign to keep his finger
thrusting into her. He moves up, and places his tongue flat against her clit, and licks up.

Her legs shake.

Her mouth moans, and he smirks as she reminds him of how quick he was to learn most things.

His tongue starts moving in patterns against her cunt.

Swallowing, sucking, licking, and thrusting until he feels her shatter around him, and her legs come
up to crush his head.

“So you will move in with me for good? Move into a new house with me?” He says as he pulls
back and licks her off of his lips.

She is tossing her head back and forth, and pulling at her hair as she takes in a few steady breaths.

“Fuck me sideways… Yes Theo. I will go anywhere with you. A house, a shed, a tent, I don’t
bloody care.”

He kisses the skin of her inner thighs, and nuzzles his face into her. Getting lost in all the dreams
taking form in his head. He had never been a dreamer before. Always so focused on the now, on
the next day, or hour, or minute. To think further than the next breath, seemed like a luxury he
would never experience. But now he is. Now, it seems he can’t get his mind to stop.

“At least we shut the door…”

Theo and Ginevra both lift their heads at the sound of Hermione’s voice outside the hallway.

He feels his ears getting hot. Knowing how awkward it was to overhear friends in intimate
moments. Hoping with everything in him that they just arrived.

“If we had a door to shut we would have!” Ginevra yells out to the two in the hallway.

Theo sits up, and pulls a blanket over the two of them just as he sees two forms fly by the opening
that the remains of a door are barely hanging on. Both have their hands over their eyes.

Ginevra laughs and bends down to the ground. She lifts up and throws his clothes at him, and starts
shrugging on her own.

“Wherever we go. They aren’t living with us.” He says as he bends, and slides his trousers up his
legs.

Ginevra stands up, and runs her hands through her hair trying to tame it. “Sounds like a plan to me.
But I don’t see you wanting to be too far away from them. Nor them you.”

She places a kiss on his cheek, and ruffles his hair in a way that makes his mess fall over his eyes,
and takes away his eyesight.

He tries to fix it as they walk into the hallway and see Draco and Hermione both looking down at
the box. “Is it working then?”

“I’m alive, so yes.” Draco says flatly.

Hermione rolls her eyes, and bends down to pick up her pet that is rubbing back and forth against
Draco’s legs. She buries her face into his long hair that gets everywhere before giving Theo a
sympathetic expression.

“Your rooms Theo…”

He shrugs and accios his healing kit. “Everything that is important to me is still intact. Tomorrow I
will see about having us move to the Italy property.”

He casts a diagnostic charm on Draco, and starts reading the areas over. “Come on, let me see all
the damage done by those shitty Aurors.”

His brother agrees, and moves with him down the hallway to his library. Hermione and Ginevra
both turn into the kitchen. “I’ll be right there. I’m going to feed Crooks first.”

Draco opens the doors to his favorite room of his house to see it in similar shape as all the others.
Yet all of his books are safe. Thanks to Gingersnap.

“Fuck…” Draco says as he takes in the room, and walks to the other side.

“Yeah you calling them the Disorder was pretty accurate. They leave disorder in their wake, that's
for sure.”

Theo tries not to stare at all the damage.

It is okay. We are going to move. I don’t have to stay in these 11 rooms anymore if I don’t want to.

Change can be good.

Change can be good.

Draco moves to open the doors out to the balcony and stands at the opening, looking down at the
ground. He tentatively moves a foot off of the hardwood floor, and onto the concrete surface of the
balcony.

His best friend lets out a breath and moves through the space, sitting down in his preferred chair.
“What would have happened if the magic wouldn’t have let you come out here?” Theo asks as he
sits down next to him and starts rummaging through his healing bag.

Draco shrugs and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes. “Probably thrown me across the room.
Or killed me.”

He laughs as he reads over his chart again. The bruised rib he could use deflation and pain potion,
but time would be it’s best healer. He has a broken wrist and also shattered part of his shoulder.
The same one he had shattered when he fell off his broom when they were kids.

All easier fixes.

All things Theo knows how to do.

He hands him a couple of vials, as he pulls out the murtlap and dressings for his shoulder.

“Have a smoke?”

“No, Ginevra stole the rest of mine, sorry.”

“Figures.” He swallows the last potion, and pulls his shirt off slowly to give Theo access to the
wounded area. “So you finally fucked I’m assuming?”

Theo feels his ears start to burn as he presses the murtlap into the purpled skin.

“Yeah. And you got another ugly tattoo.”

The side of Draco’s mouth quirks up slightly as Theo’s words make his walls shake a little.

“It’s pretty great isn’t it? Are the numbers 362?”

He turns his head to give Theo a better view.

“Yeah.” Theo tapes the dressings over the skin, and looks back at the chart. “Okay that’s all I can
do right now. How do you feel?”

Draco scoffs and leans back again. Opening his eyes to look up at the sky that is starting to change
with the setting sun.

“Like I don’t belong here. Like I’m waiting for something else to happen.”

He leans back in his own chair, and looks up.

“I’m building a house.”

A pause.

“You’re building a house?”

“Yes.”

Draco turns over towards him with a knowing look. “Come up with that great idea during sex did
you?”

“Why is that important? It is a good idea. Want to help me?”

“Help you build a house?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to use magic this time, or is this going to be another blanket mound situation?”

Theo rolls his eyes. “Of course we will use magic. It’s a fucking house Draco. Oh, and they
destroyed our tent by the way. Still really pissed about that.”

This time, Draco actually laughs, and Theo can’t help but smile back at him. It always took a
while, but Theo could usually break through, and if Draco was already allowing them to slip a
little, he thinks Hermione will be able to get through as well.

“Do you remember when you told me that just because someone was breathing, that didn’t make
them alive?”

His brother doesn’t respond for a few moments.

“Yes.”

“Is that going to be you?”

Draco sits up, and carefully pulls his shirt back on. He stays, sitting forward, looking down at his
hands in his lap. “I… I’m going to try. But, for now, I can’t Theo. They have to stay up if I am
going to…”

Theo holds up his hands to stop his words, and Draco listens.

“Wanting to try I think is enough, Draco. I know she will think so too and…”

He smells it before he sees it. But it still has the power to cut off his train of thought, and make his
head snap backwards to the door to see their Gryffindor girls coming in with the mugs of delicious
burnt chocolate in their hands.

His mouth starts watering instantly, as Ginevra holds out a bowl mug for him, and he feels the cozy
warmth of the drink seep into his skin.

“I love you two so fucking much.”

He takes a long gulp that warms his entire body as it goes down.

Maybe Gingersnap learned the recipe. If she didn’t, Hermione will be coming over to our house
every other day to make more.

Ginevra moves to sit in between his legs in the chair, and leans back into him, as Hermione does
the same thing with Draco. Being much more careful of his bad shoulder.

Theo hands Ginevra their mug, and she takes a sip as they all look out in front of them. It is a
cloudless night. Giving them a beautiful view of the sunset taking over all the space. Starting to
transform into that in between place where there is still light, but a few stars are shining through as
well.

“It doesn’t seem real yet does it?” Hermione whispers as she moves her fingers up and down
Draco’s arms.
 They all shake their heads no, and sit in silence. Different events and images probably come into
each of their minds with the thought.

“So tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow it will feel like the war is finally over.” Ginevra says as she takes
another sip.

Hermione shakes her head, and leans back into Draco’s good shoulder. “I think we carry the war
with us now. It may be over for everyone else, but I don’t know if it will ever be truly over for any
of us anymore.”

They are silent for a while. Watching the sky turn from red to a golden color. Seeing it change so
slowly, and in such small steps that the progression from red to gold isn’t even recognized. It just
happens.

“I think you’re right.” Ginevra rests her head farther into his chest, and hands him the cup they are
sharing. “So, we just learn to live with it?”

“No, I think we keep fighting to win all the small battles that happen every day. And maybe, after
a while, it will get easier. Or maybe we will get stronger. Or maybe both.”

Draco looks down at her as she finishes speaking. The cold sharpness of his face that has been a
part of him for so long pulls back a bit as he reaches out, and moves one of her curls behind her ear.
“One battle at a time then?”

She smiles, and pulls his hand to her mouth, kissing the top of it before wrapping it with her own.
“Yes, but they are easier I think with a team.”

He smirks. “A deadly team.”

“A powerful team.” Hermione says.

The sky starts to turn from gold to grey, as the day gives way for the needed night. Bringing
tomorrow closer to them with every moment.

Ginevra looks up at him, and kisses his chin as he finishes their mug.

And they all say in unison, “Deal.”

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - discussion of abuse, gore, description of panic attacks.

 Epilogue: 1
Chapter Notes

The remaining five chapters are structured differently than the rest of PIP. Instead of a
chapter being one singular POV, the epilogues will give us pieces of the three main
POV’s within the story.

I debated on how to structure the ending of this story, and found that this would work
best with all I hope to accomplish within these chapters.

PIP is a story told in pieces. Always has been. I hope you enjoy seeing where our
characters end up.

Hermione

Two months later

Her arm knocks the cup of tea over, and onto the ground as she tries to grab the letters from the
owl. The bird smacks into the bookcase across from her before righting itself, and dropping the
two pieces of parchment onto her side table where her mug used to be. A loud noise from outside
has them both jumping, and the bird flying out the window.

Damn it! Theo just bought this rug, and if I left a stain on it…

Hermione quickly glances outside to make sure none of the men had injured themselves again, and
then bends down to inspect the damage, only to see her favorite chamomile tea still contained
within the cup.

Even though it is sideways.

It looks like a magical barrier stops the liquid from spilling.

How in the?..

She winces as images rush to the forefront of her mind in an uncontrollable way.

She tries to hold them back, separate them, control them as it feels like they are attacking one
another.
Breathe Hermione. You know they only last a little while.

Bare it for a few more seconds.

Her teeth grind together as she counts into the double digits before the hot pain begins to subside,
and her brain feels like it belongs to her again.

It belongs to her more than anyone else now-a-days.

For the first time in a long time.

She holds on to that truth as she picks up the mug, and the parchment. Hermione tilts the cup
upside down, and smiles as nothing comes out again.

The image of Draco doing the same movement over Theo’s table of books months ago comes out
as a clear image in her mind.

He made this for me.

He placed the charm on all the cups in this house for me.

It must have been recently, because she distinctly remembers Ginny purposefully spilling burnt
chocolate onto the front of her shirt the other day to get Theo’s attention away from the blueprints
on the kitchen table in the new house.

She seemed to be the only way to get him to take a break from working on their house they are
building a couple of yards from Draco’s.

Mostly because the parole magic only let Draco go so far from the house. Leaving them with no
choice, but to build in close proximity. Theo was adamant that it was a perfect set up though. The
weather was nicer than England, Blaise and Pansy were living close by in one of his family’s
vineyard estates. And most importantly in Theo’s eyes, the large home came with a vast amount of
land. Beautiful land. Most of it is open fields with little patches of wooded areas, and two small
ponds. Perfect for flying. An area of importance for him, which makes no sense to Hermione
because she knows he shares her aversion to flying. But nonetheless, seeing the land had solidified
his newest fixation of building a house.

Hermione peels off the wax seals as she looks out the window again. Right now, the structure
looks nothing like a home. More like a wooden mess that made all the men Theo had convinced to
join him on this endeavor, angry and bickering with one another almost every day.

The only time the arguing stopped, was when one of them got hurt. Which occurred hourly lately,
as they built trusses for the roof.

“…Don’t you pull your wand out at me, Draco! When we all bloody well know you can’t do shit
with it until your trial verdict is given! I have done extensive research on how to build this, and all
the books say…”
“Experience trumps instructions, Theo. We tried it that way, and Zabini was almost crushed…”

Hermione scans the first letter. Already knowing by the handwriting on the outside, what it
contains. She scans the request again, and places it within the book holding the other three similar
letters.

For another day.

“…No Blaise, Neville! Bottom side, use your legs more and…”

CRASH

“Fuck! Frosty, take him away before I cast my first unforgivable!”

“S-s-sorry Blaise. I forgot which end…”

“How did you forget bottom side?! It is in your fucking name Longbottom!”

“Shit, accio healer kit! Hold still, Blaise.”

“It’s broken, Nott! Tell your witch it is my turn for that finger.”

Her smile at the men’s ridiculous discussion falls from her face as she notices the Wizengamot seal
on the second envelope.

She tears open the seal with shaking hands, and skims the contents. They knew this was coming.
Draco’s verdict trial was now scheduled. For two weeks from today. They had kept the
investigation very quiet over the last month. Everyone was interviewed, and then cross-examined
multiple times, but no one heard anything for almost a week. Hermione knew what that meant.
They believed they had everything they needed. And while she had complete confidence that what
she and Minerva compiled together as evidence of Draco’s innocence, and Kingsley’s guilt, she
knew how tempting it was to look away from the truth, in exchange for easy.

The sound of the door down the hallway opening has Hermione looking up from the court date
information.

She hears the light footsteps become fainter as they travel down the hallway to the kitchen. Within
seconds, the footsteps become louder again, and move back to the same room, before shutting the
door quietly, and Hermione finally breathes again.

At least she is eating now. That is a good sign.

Ginny had been in her and Theo’s room for two weeks now. Never leaving. Ever since she was
informed that the burial requests for Harry were made public. It was a betrayal of the worst kind.
One done by the cemetery owners she had been in contact with, and also the family that owned the
plot next to the Potters, where she wanted Harry to be placed. Both had not listened to their plea to
keep the matter private, and also were not agreeing to re-burying the great aunt who took up the
spot next to the Potters.
And ever since, a swarm of media sat waiting at the cemetery for the burial to happen.

They were all devastated, but none more than Ginny.

Isolating herself into a room, and not coming out.

She wouldn’t eat.

She wouldn’t sleep.

And even when she did, Hermione and Draco would wake up to the sounds of her screaming in
anguish before calming down again. Either from a nightmare or reality. The fact that it could be
either made her sick.

Not even Theo really knew what to do, or how to help.

But today was the first day she had ventured out on her own will.

That is a good sign.

“Wizengamot?”

Hermione pulls away from her thoughts, and looks up to see Draco using the hem of his shirt to
wipe the sweat off of his forehead. All of his wounds, and injuries from his imprisonment had
healed nicely. All except for the new mark on his neck.

Anytime he caught her staring at it, he would reach out, and tap his finger against her own marked
neck. “Had to keep matching you.”

He would try to smile, and she would give him an eye roll to help make his grin stay a little bit
longer.

“Yes. It is scheduled for two weeks from today. Is Blaise okay?”

Draco nods slightly as he lowers his shirt, and walks over to the letter she is holding out to him.

“He will be fine.”

He silently reads over the letter, and Hermione watches him as she takes another sip of her tea.

He had already built his mental walls thicker before coming into the room. She can see it within
the hard lines of his face, and the way his eyes turn more grey than silver, losing their spark.

Like he always does when he is near her anymore.

It was like how Theo was distant with her after he had to beat her months ago, but worse.

Because everyone else was getting Draco, but her.

She is trying to be patient. Hell, the man had been so patient with her when Theo found her. Giving
him space and time to work through his guilt, and get to a place where he didn’t have to cage
himself away from her, she would do. No matter how long it took.

I will never give up on you.

“Why aren’t you two getting dressed?” Theo comes into the doorway, cleaning off his hands with a
rag, and gesturing to the door down the hall. “Has she left at all since we were working?”

Hermione nods her head, and takes another sip of the tea Draco made for her this morning. “Yes
actually. I think she got something for herself in the kitchen, and she took a shower earlier. But
dressed for what, Theo?”

He sighs and runs his hand up his face, pushing back his mound of brown waves. Hermione had
offered to cut them, but apparently Ginny said she preferred his hair longer.

“Okay, she already showered, good. We have to be there by six if we are going to make this
happen. Go change.”

He disappears out of the doorway, and Draco stands up slowly. Hermione watches as he rotates his
shoulders back and forth, and stretches his limbs out in front of him before offering his hand
towards her.

“We are never building a house.”

She laughs, taking his hand, and letting him lead her to their bedroom. She thinks about saying
how she has no desire to ever move from their current residence. As soon as she walked in, she felt
safe. The house was large, but the rooms were all decorated with a homely feel that made her body
relax.

But unlike Theo and Ginny, they haven’t had the after talk yet. If that is what it is called. They
couldn’t. Not with him being so shut off most of the time, and also the fact that they were not
within the after yet like everyone else.

Not until he was no longer on house arrest, and was found innocent.

“Make sure it is black!” Theo yells right before Draco shuts their door, and she walks into their
closet.

Hermione pulls off Draco’s t-shirt she is wearing, and goes to the back of the closet for the needed
color.

She picks out a simple black dress with sleeves, and turns around.

Draco’s eyes are taking her exposed body in with deep concentration that makes the hair on her
arms stand on end. He hasn’t looked at her like this since before she found out.

They haven’t done a lot of things since then.

Right as her mouth starts to curl up into a smile, and she is about to step forward, he looks up to
meet her eyes.

His face changes automatically. Becoming hard, and guarded as soon as their eyes meet.

Hermione has to hold back her body from falling inward with her sigh. He doesn’t need that added
pressure right now. She needed to be more patient. More understanding.

“Why black? What crazy idea has he come up with now?” She asks.

Draco begins to strip, and Hermione turns around to stop herself from groveling, which she would
not be able to stop if she took in his chest, and muscles, and…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

She slips her arms through the dress as she stands upright at the sound of someone knocking on
their door.

No one knocked on their door.

The first thing Blaise did when they first came over was connect their Floos to one another, and
they were the only ones to ever really visit. And even if it was Blaise, he wouldn’t bother with
knocking.

“Who is…”

“An Auror.” Draco says as he walks behind her, and moves her hair over the shoulder to zip up her
dress.

“Why is an Auror here? You didn’t actually use magic on Theo did you?”

She turns around as he pulls on his Oxford shirt. Her hands start at the bottom button, and work up
as he tries to tame a few of her fly-away curls.

“No. My special request to leave house arrest with an Auror escort was granted.”

Her eyebrows meet as she finishes his last button, and smooths out the collar. He bends down to
move the pile of laundry that was his new hiding place for their shoes since she had found the last
one three days ago.

“Wait, we are leaving the house? Why? Where are we…”

“Are you two ready? Gingersnap, we have to go…”

“I don’t want to, Theo. Please, you don’t understand…”

“No Ginevra, you don’t understand. We have to be there by, wait… no... Don’t take your shoes
off! I’m serious! We have to… shit, fine, well… you leave me no choice…”

“Hey!”

Draco shrugs on his suit jacket. A very odd choice in Hermione’s opinion as they walk out to the
hallway to see Theo with Ginny hiked up over his shoulder, walking towards the front door.

Ginny smacks his arse, and begins to stick her hand down the back of his trousers when she takes
in their matching attire.
 by
Caterina

“What is going on?”

As she is speaking, Theo opens the door, and the Auror walks in. He walks by them and waves his
wand, and grabs the parole box. Placing it in his pocket.

“You are cleared for one hour.” He says.

Draco and Theo both nod, and lead them out through the small front garden they were in the
process of landscaping, and past the wall of wards.
Theo finally sets Ginny down, but before either of them can ask what the hell is going on again,
Hermione sees the world start to spin in the way apparition caused.

She falls into Draco’s chest as the forceful magic stops. Afraid to take her face out of his chest.
She doesn’t like this. It worries her how much she doesn’t like leaving the house.

“Oh my gods…”

Hermione finally raises her face from Draco, and gasps at where they are.

She has been here before.

Once.

Years ago.

On Christmas.

With him.

With the man in the coffin, next to the hole in the ground.

The hole right beside his parents.

Harry…

Ginny’s face is soaking wet as she holds on to Theo’s forearms, and looks over his shoulder to the
area they all knew had been filled with media waiting for this moment. But no one is there.

“How, what, I don’t understand. They said they wouldn’t agree…”

Theo smiles, and wipes the tears off of her cheeks. “Money doesn’t solve all problems, but it did
solve this one.”

Ginny looks confused until she sees Ron, Padma, and Neville apparate into the cemetery as well.

“You, you did all this. You paid them off so we could, so I could…” Ginny sobs, and falls into
Theo’s chest before she can finish.

He wraps his arms around her, and holds her tight as she continues to cry.

“But they said no. I heard them say no to any monetary offer.” Hermione whispers as Draco grabs
her shaking hand. Her own tears starting to escape.

They are burying Harry today.

Finally.

He was finally being placed where he belongs.

With his family.

With his home.

“Theo found out the husband collects old books. He offered one the man couldn’t refuse.”

No.

No he didn’t.

He couldn’t have.

Not that book.

But even as she thinks it, she knows it is true. She doesn’t even need to go back to the house and
look to see if the spot was empty; where it used to be magically protected on the fireplace mantle
just like it had been in Theo’s rooms.

She already knows it is.

“I love you so much, Theo. Thank you, thank you…”

She grabs his cheeks, and kisses him deeply.

Theo smiles into the kiss before pulling away. “I know, we only have…”

He looks up to Draco.

“38 minutes.” He says without missing a beat.

Theo nods, and starts pulling her closer to the gravesite. The new stone is already in place as well;
spanning the entire length of the three graves instead of the two.

Hermione feels Draco’s hand tense in hers as Ron and Padma start to come closer.

Her childhood best friend tilts his head in hesitant recognition towards her, before averting his eyes
back to their other friend.

He may have done the right thing in the end, but there was still a lot of hurt surrounding the two of
them. And Draco would never like him. It was something she knew she had to accept, just like
Draco realized that Ron would probably never be entirely out of their lives.

To co-exist in proximity was the goal.

The girl she was when she had stood here years ago was dead. All of the expectations, and naïveté
perspectives of what life would be for her, gone. She was burying her with Harry, and never
looking back.

She thinks Ron probably is as well.

And who they have become now, are people on different courses for their lives. With different
wants, and that… that was okay.

It was okay to let some people go, and allow them to become less.

Or as Draco liked to say, it was okay to outgrow some people, and grow into others.
She raises up to kiss him on the cheek in reassurance before reaching out, and giving Padma a hug,
and nodding back towards Ron.

“How is he?” She whispers into her dark hair.

“Two weeks clean today. It has been hard again, but better than last time.”

Hermione squeezes her shoulder in reassurance. They knew Ron had relapsed the day after the
trial. Drinking himself so deep, that Padma found him in an alley, covered in his own filth, and in
need of medical attention.

The healers agreed if she would have been a few hours later, he would have been dead.

The truth of their new reality was weighing heavy on him. And none of them knew who would win
the war raging inside him.

But today he looks better again.

“Hi, Harry.” Ginny moves first, and places her hand on the dark wooden casket, rubbing the
surface back and forth as she continues to cry. “We… we finally got you here, like I promised.”

Theo stays standing the farthest back from the scene. Giving her space to do this.

Hermione notices the familiar looking remains of a wreath she had placed here years ago.

Remembering her friend, her brother.

The man who gave the ultimate sacrifice for this ending.

Whose life was never his own, and never would be.

I wish I could have known you without the war. I wish we all could have witnessed who you would
have been.

I’m so sorry that was taken from you…

She hiccups, and moves next to Ginny who is now hugging the top of the coffin, and whispering
words onto the surface. She feels Ron follow her as well, and come to stand on the other side of his
sister who is sobbing uncontrollably.

“Winning will never be worth him.” She whispers.

“No, it won’t. It doesn’t have to be Gin.” Hermione hugs her as Ginny presses her face into the
wood, and Ron rubs her lower back, eyes watering as well.

“I think… I think he would want us to be happy though. As happy as we can be without him. If
anyone understood living with loss it was him.” Ron says as he sniffs loudly.

“Does he have his glasses? He would want his glasses, and want them cleaned. And we should
have brought his snitch, or his jumper mum made him, or…”

Ginny stops rambling as Ron pulls out the familiar golden orb. He presses down on it, and the
wings flip out, and start flapping.

“It’s time Gin.” He says.

She nods in agreement, and kisses the top of the box. “I love you.”

Ginny raises up, her body shaking and needing support. Theo is there as soon as she stumbles, and
she holds on to him as she looks back towards them.

Hermione wipes under her eyes as she meets Ron’s gaze across from her.

He smiles softly before raising his wand. “It was always the three of us. One more time? Just the
three of us?”

She registers what he is saying, and whimpers as she agrees, and pulls out her wand.

Ron waits for her to calm a bit, before the two of them cast the Wingardium Leviosa, both being
hit with the irony of the moment, as they pronounce it the exact same way, and Harry’s coffin rises
into the air in between them.

Their eyes stay locked on each other until a light laugh, and a snort escape from the two of them.

They levitate the casket into the open hole, and lower it together down into the ground. Both of
them move to look into the grave as Ron places the golden snitch down on top of the wood.

He picks up a handful of dirt, and takes a deep breath.

“I will miss you everyday, mate.” He sprinkles the dirt. Hearing it thump against the surface. “Tell
Fred and Percy we all say hi, and miss them too. And let your mum and dad know we are sorry it
took so long for us to finally get you here, where you belong.”

Hermione lowers, and picks up a handful of dirt as well. She holds it out in front of her, and stares
at her closed fist.

Hesitating.

Because this was an end. They can all feel it in the heaviness of the moment. Recognizing how
precious every breath was to experience fully.

An end none of them ever wanted, but had to live with anyways.

Had to hold within themselves for the rest of their lives.

“We all carry pieces of you, Harry. Everything you taught and showed us about living, about love,
about friendship.” She turns her hand, and lets the dirt fall. “Thank you for being my family. You
will always be our family.”

Minutes later the men have covered the entire grave, and are working on spells to grow the grass
over the dirt.

“I still don’t feel good.” Ginny says as she rubs the skin of her chest back and forth. “I thought
maybe it would be easier after…”

Hermione reaches out, and hugs her.

“Losing him is never going to feel good, and that’s okay Gin. We don’t have to turn it into
something else, something less… broken. We can just let it be what it is.”

She wishes she had better words to say to her. To the pain they all feel. But grief could not be fixed
with words.

It could never be buried in the dirt.

But maybe it isn’t supposed to. Grief is something that demands to be felt, to be recognized. Maybe
instead of fighting it, they should give space for it. For the loss to be a living thing within them.
Not something crushed with empty words, and distractions.

Maybe that is what it needed.

To be felt.

To be heard.

To be recognized.

Because Harry would continue to live in all of them. In the grief, and the love. In the broken, and
the beautiful.

Draco

Two weeks later

He shuts the book that now hides six identical letters inside it as he hears footsteps down the hall.

It hurts that she is hiding something from him. That she isn’t talking or even acknowledging this
opportunity with him, but he knows he is the one to blame for that.

For the divide he has put up between them again.

Granger walks in rubbing the front of her dress with her hands.

She is nervous.

He doesn’t even have to look at her face to see that there was some fear in her for how today’s trial
was going to go.

As she should be.

Draco was well aware through his experience during the investigation that it was not looking good.

Yes, the evidence made it quite clear he never abused Granger, or used her to get out of the war,
but it also showed evidence of what the war made him become.

Of all the actions he kept thick walls around. Just like the one dealing with the beautiful brunette in
front of him.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

He moves down the hallway a few steps behind her, glancing into the room they had deemed as
theirs to make sure the lump next to her pillow on the floor was still there.

The container held a couple of things she has the right to have and know if he doesn’t come back
today.

Granger goes into the kitchen to grab the stack of papers, and additional research she had been
tirelessly working on for weeks.

He takes the scene in as her back is to him. Letting his walls down to experience this moment with
who he truly is. Her elbow hits off the top of the wooden chair, and the ornate carved topper
knocks loose like it always tends to do, and rolls under the table.

She groans, and places the papers back onto the surface before lowering to the floor, mumbling
about their apparent ability to build an entire damn house, yet unable to fix a chair.

Draco can’t help the curve of his mouth at the scene.

He loves this house. As soon as his mother had shown it to him back during the summer between
5th and 6th year, his mind automatically started adding his witch’s presence to the home.

He remembers following his mother from room to room, and thinking how the place was very
unlike the other estates and properties within the Malfoy family assets.

Usually they were large, and grand. But this one was warmer. Rooms smaller, with natural colors
and textures. Windows on every wall to let in the natural light.

It screamed her in every detail.

His mother had turned to see him looking into the exact space he is now, eyes in his dreams.

“I think a new atmosphere is needed.”

He knew what she meant by that. She was trying to put distance between them, and the war
approaching. Trying to protect him from the Dark Lord’s desires to pay penance for his father’s
failures. Hoping that maybe, if they lived quiet lives in the countryside, the war wouldn’t find
them.

Both of their dreams were crushed days after buying the home, when he was forced to take the
Dark Mark. When he was made aware of what the expectations were for him with the upcoming
school year.

There was no escaping it then.

Not with the ink in his arm.

Granger stands upright, and he accidentally doesn’t pull his eyes away before her golden ones lock
onto his.

As soon as they do, his stomach turns, and the bile starts to burn his throat.

Because she knows.

Every time he looks at her, he sees it.

He can’t unsee it.

It won’t stay caged in. Those burning eyes destroy his barriers.

Look away.

It is still too hard.

You have done it right this time. You kept the divide. It’ll be easier for her to let you go today since
you re-built the divide.

He stares down at his shoes as he turns out of the house. Opening the door, and letting her go
through before turning to shut it behind them. But before his hand leaves the door knob, he feels
her warm touch against his forearm.

The contact makes the breath in his throat catch.

He stops, and she walks directly in front of him, but he continues to stare at a spot above her head.

“Draco, can you… Just for a minute. 60 seconds, and not a second more I promise. You can count
them. Please, can we have one minute of us before…”

She stops talking as she moves closer, slowly sliding her arms around his sides, and joining them in
the back.

He should stop this.

It already was doing nothing but hurting both of them as he feels her face press against his chest
and wet his shirt.

“I love you.”

She says as she taps in a rhythm with her finger onto his back.

REAL

He closes his eyes, and lowers his head, letting his face get lost in her hair. Breathing in a deep
inhale of lavender and vanilla.

I love you too.

I am so sorry I love you too.

His arms wrap around her as he breathes out, and squeezes her tightly. Covering her entire body
with his. Trying to hold on to his shaking walls and her at the same time.

Wanting them both.

He thinks if he was given more time he could have both.

Draco taps the same pattern into the dip of her back.

“I love you too.”

58, 59, 60.

Like she promised, she pulls away looking at the ground. She picks up her bag, and turns to meet
Theo, Red, and the Auror escort waiting past the ward line around the property. A ward barrier just
as thick as the ones that used to be around Theo’s room.

Just in case.

Always just in case.

“So, want to play cards tonight? Or maybe try catching fish with those sticks Hermione bought
us?”

“Rods, Theo.”

Granger smiles as they come to stand beside them to apparate.

“Same difference. Sound good, Draco? I know you think it is pointless with magic making the
activity moot, but you never know when the skill will come in handy.”

His brother gives him a half-smile. Draco knows what he is trying to do. Lighten the mood.
Talking about plans for the four of them.

Instead of the three of them.

It must be obvious that he is not going to answer because Theo turns, and interlaces his fingers with
their two witches, just as Draco reaches out for Granger’s hand, and the Auror clasps his shoulder.

He apparates them to the point closest to the Ministry building.

“Keep close. The square is busy today.”

The Auror does not hesitate before walking briskly towards the destination.

He wasn’t lying when he said the courtyard was busy. It seems like a market is going on.

Her hand still grasping his pulls him back as they step out into the open.

He knows without even turning around that Theo is doing the same thing. Red is probably hesitant
as well.
He looks back to see them all staring ahead. Theo and Granger have similar expressions of absolute
fear, while Weaselette looks nervous.

To them, the real world was a scary place.

Not safe anymore.

Not a place any of them felt they belonged.

None more than Theo who had been feeling that way ever since childhood.

And now also Granger due to her isolation and captivity.

She had gone from one room, to 11, to a home, and while it was more freeing, it was not freedom.

And now, after so long, he knows the world feels too big for her.

Hence why she hadn’t answered the six letters.

She wasn’t ready.

There was more time needed he thinks, but she would get there.

She would.

She has to.

Whether he would see it or not.

“Hey! I said keep up!”

Draco grinds his teeth as he places his finger underneath Granger’s chin to make her look up at
him. He looks at the largest freckle on her cheek. One of his favorites.

“Remember who you are.”

She blinks, and takes a deep breath in before nodding at him. He looks over her shoulder to see
Theo tossing him a vial, and downing one himself. Draco hands it to Granger, and she swallows as
well.

“Red, cast a silencing charm around us. Hold my hand Granger, you can close your eyes if you
need.”

She makes a pain filled expression. He knows she is thinking how pathetic, and weak she is. That
walking through a market was making it impossible for her to breathe.

The world goes silent around them with Red casting the charm, and Theo closes his eyes as she
leads him ahead. Granger takes his hand, but forces herself to keep her eyes open.

He starts walking to the waiting Auror, and follows him to the building.

Draco tries to keep his eyes forward, but they haven’t even taken the 14th step into the courtyard
before he sees people turning their head and sneering at him.

Because they know who he is.

They know about the mark on his arm, and the manor that was the Dark Lord’s personal home.
They know his last name, and the support of the pureblood prejudices that fortified the recent
genocide and war.

The looks are warranted in his opinion. Understandable. But his feet falter under him as he watches
their disgusted glares turn to the woman behind him holding his hand, curling into his side in
familiarity.

They know her as well. Someone just as famous on the polar opposite side.

And she is by his side.

Draco watches as their disgust transforms into open-mouth shock, and then into an utter rage as
they take her in. It is enough to make him start walking so fast, that now it was the Auror’s turn to
try and keep up.

I deserve these looks, but she does not.

It doesn’t seem like Granger notices them at all, or if she does, she hides their affect better than she
usually was at hiding her emotions.

They climb the stairs quickly, and a team of Aurors is waiting for him at the end of security. To
take him away. To separate the possibly guilty from the innocent.

When he tries to move, her hand doesn’t let go for a moment until he squeezes it in reassurance,
and for once, allows silver to meet gold.

They are glossy as they try to fight it.

He smiles, squeezes once more, and then lets go.

It is easier this way, Granger.

You deserve easy after everything you have been through.

A life with me would be anything but easy.

They open the door to a packed courtroom, and lead him down to the table in the center of the
floor.

Kingsley Shacklebolt is already sitting there as Draco scoots a chair back, and joins him.

The Wizengamot in front of them are still working to prepare for this verdict.

That is all today would be.

No debates.

No more back and forths.

They had done all that over the past weeks.

Draco looks up to see Minerva leading Granger, Theo, and Red over to a first row of seats. The
trials were still being held close to the Ministry’s chest. At least until the verdict was given. Trying
to keep the depiction of healing rather than added corruption.

A war had started over less before.

“You and I do not look very different anymore, do we?”

His attention goes to the man circling the cuff link on his suit.

“Well I wasn’t held in a cell for days, and beaten this time.” Draco says as he pulls down the collar
of his shirt. “But even now, my suit is still twice the quality and price of the one you are currently
trying to pass off as something it is not. Just like those fake golden cuff links as well. All just a veil
with you, isn’t it?”

He flexes his arms out, and rubs his thumb over his real golden cuff links as he smirks.

“They did not only dive into my own history. They dove into yours as well.” Kingsley says
shooting him a matching sneer. “So tell me Mr. Malfoy, what do you think the punishment should
be for killing dozens of people? What is the price for making that choice?”

Draco scoffs, and leans back in his chair as the familiar small wizard starts waddling towards the
front.

He is about to open and respond, but Kingsley cuts him off.

“You see, I do agree, I did misconceive you in some aspects. But one area I believe I have right is
that making you live in this new world, with everything you have done, will be price enough.”
Draco’s jaw locks as he feels Kingsley lean in closer as he speaks, voice dropping. “Because you
will ruin yourself. No matter what they deem today. You Mr. Malfoy, will never be free.”

His walls start to crumble in a few places.

At the truth, and the personal fears the man’s words hold.

“We are all here today to recite the verdicts we, as the Wizengamot, have come to within two
investigations…”

The choices in front of him again were not ideal. Although many people he is sure would disagree
with him.

At the surface level, it seems like an easy conclusion to be rooting for.

Between freedom or imprisonment.

But choices and situations like this, like who he was now, made that all greyer. Or silver if you ask
Granger.

“…First, within the very in-depth and painstaking investigation into the matters of nefarious and
illegal use of power by Interim Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, it was found that…”

Because it wasn’t just the horrible positions, and decisions he partook in during the war to survive,
and protect the people he loved.
It was more.

A lot more.

It included living with the weight of his name. Of his family. To always receive sneers, and dirty
looks, and probably even worse from people for the rest of his life.

That no matter what he did to change his family name, and the reputation it rightfully earned, it
wouldn’t be enough.

Because he was never enough.

“…Has led us to open investigations into other members working with Mr. Shacklebolt, including
Aberforth Dumbledore...”

And that was only addressing the outward repercussions.

Because Kingsley is right. What he continued to fight against inside himself was the darker side of
this crossroad.

How was he supposed to move forward with everything he fights against inside him?

Especially with her of all people.

“…We of the Wizengamot find Interim Minister of Magic Kingsley Shakebolt, guilty of…”

He told Theo right after everything that he would try.

But he was tired of trying to be.

Of trying to be, being the best he could do.

The best he could offer.

It was exhausting to always be trying. Feeling the strain of that word with every breath and action.

“…25 years in Azkaban, and the inability to ever work for the Ministry again. Second, within the
investigation into the matter of Draco Malfoy…”

Imprisonment was the easier option. Isolation was alwasy easier to handle reality within, whether it
was forced or not.

Closing oneself both outwardly and inwardly made everything quieter. Being alone would give
him the freedom of his guilt and memories to be the closest thing to truly forgotten. Because there
would be nothing, and no one to spark the mind and body to focus on the broken parts they have.

“…Innocent within the accusations brought against him towards Miss. Hermione Granger. Moving
on to the issues of his actions during the war, such as the murder of…”

But he loves her.

Fuck, does he love the frustrating, beautiful, smart woman so much, that it makes a part of him
want to fight.

A part of him that grows when he isn’t close to her. When he is working on Theo’s house, or
reading, or flying.
When he forgets how she burns all of his inhibitions as soon as her eyes meet his.

Burning down all of the barriers between them.

Barriers he needs in place to stop the hurting. To successfully keep breathing.

“…And the evidence proving The Order’s use of Mr. Malfoy as a spy, and opening for their needs,
we have granted a pardon, preliminary on 30% of the Malfoy assets being given to help support,
and rebuild the wizarding world. And Mr. Malfoy’s activism within said efforts…”

He knows she is trying to be patient. But he doesn’t know how to do this. How to live and love
someone that holds all of your guilt as well.

How do two people move on from what they have had to do to one another, both fully aware of
what was done?

“…Details will be owled, this ends today’s proceedings.”

And also within a world that he knows will try to tear them apart. A lot was against them even
though the war was over. Even though he doesn’t have to hide and protect her from an evil wizard,
he would still have to protect her from what people would say. What people would assume. He
would have to live with making her life harder with his presence even within freedom.

Holding her back.

He couldn’t do that to her.

Without him, she would be revered and honored. People would stare in admiration, and flock to
support her in transforming this world.

If he is beside her, that all would be tainted.

“Draco, Draco did you hear any of that? You are free! You were pardoned!”

Someone is pulling back his chair, and contact is all over him from multiple people.

I am free.

How?

I never… never planned how to be free.

Theo lets out a large whistle between two fingers. Red ruffles his hair back and forth calling him a
lucky prick over and over again. Minerva and a few other’s stand back with forms in their hands
and a smile on their faces. Granger seems to try to hold back in her crying and squeezing, but
relents, and begins to sob loudly.

Unintentionally, his eyes meet Minerva’s again, and he sees her smile slip at what she sees in his
expression.

Because this doesn’t feel real, or even right.

Because he doesn’t feel free.

He doesn’t breathe easier, or stand straighter, or become lighter as he looks at his old professor
within the midst of the people all counting this as a win.

It doesn’t feel like a win to him.

Will it ever?

But he smiles, and hugs her tightly in return because that is what he is supposed to do.

Theo

2 months later

The sound of a window shattering, makes him hesitate moving forward.

Shit, I bet it was another shoe. Hopefully they are fighting on the first story this time. The third
story window was a pain to fix.

The loud voices trying to speak over each other can now be heard clearly. Even over the rushing
water pouring down on them from the waterfall shower head.

“Fuck no, we are not stopping again because of their bickering. Put up a silencing charm, I was so
close, Theo.”

The O in his name drags out to a moan as he thrusts back inside her. Watching his cock disappear
into her incredible warmth as he holds both of her perfect arse cheeks in his hands to control her
body around his cock.

Her hands slap against the walls of the custom-built-to-her-exact-wants shower. Searching for the
bar they had experimented to find where it needed to be for this exact purpose.

Because if Theo thought wanking to her in the shower was great, he now knows it is nothing
compared to fucking her.

He plants himself entirely inside her, and reaches to the the counter for his wand. He casts the
quick spell, and the sounds of the Granger, Malfoy showdown happening next door disappear.

They will handle them later.

After this.

And hopefully after the house warming visit too.

While he places his wand back, Ginevra starts moving forward and back against him. Taking him
in and out with the sound of the wet slap of her arse hitting his hips.

Theo stares down, and watches his wicked witch fuck herself on him.

I love this arse. I love this cunt. Fuck, I love this witch.

Her breathy sighs and noises begin to rise and fall, informing him of what was about to happen as
she moves against him, and clenches around him.

He lets her continue to have her way with him for a while. But when her breath catches, and he
sees her hands squeeze the bar tighter, he finds himself unable to stop his hands from squeezing her
hips, and picking up the pace.

Taking back the control.

She flinches, and whines a little before turning her head, and pouting at him.

“So-Sorry. I would have stopped. I wouldn’t have come without…”

“I make you come, Ginevra. You know the rules. You come on my cock, while I am inside you,
when I am in control.”

He starts pounding into her from behind harder, watching her breasts swing back and forth with
each thrust.

He knows how to do this now. He knows he is good at this for her now. Fucking finally too. It had
taken a few months, but now he was able to make her come at least once around his cock before he
came with her.

A preference they both seemed to have.

Theo moves his hand in front of her, and starts rubbing at her clit as he moves quicker and quicker
into her. She clenches around him like a vice, and it takes his breath away for a moment. Her walls
flutter around him, and he feels his body wanting to do the same thing.

Theo removes his hand from her clit, and grabs her by the neck to pull her back directly against his
front. Her wet hair slaps him in the face, and sticks to his chest as she lets her head fall onto his
shoulder as he continues to fuck her hard from behind.

His hands stay on her neck as his mouth sucks in the skin of her shoulder, and her hands wrap
around his sides, and hold on as her body continues to take him.

“Teddy, I’m close, can I, can we…”

“Hold off… fuck, almost their Gingersnap. Hold on for me.”

Ginevra whines again, and turns her head as she grabs his face, and pulls it to hers. Inserting her
tongue into his mouth, and kissing him deeply just the way she knows he likes.

And it pushes him that little bit more he needs.

Instead of taking his mouth off of her to tell her, he nods his head, and he feels her body start to
shake as she lets go.

He thrusts deep into her, and releases as her walls tell him she is as well.

They fall into each other more as the feeling reaches it’s peak, and then begins to come down,
making them shake with each after feeling still coursing through them. Theo holds her close to him,
as she sags and gets control of her breathing once again.

“Are you okay?” He whispers into her neck as he kisses the water off of it.

She smiles, and sighs as he pulls out of her, and turns her around to inspect that neither of them left
a mark on her body.

“Like I said a while ago Theo, plaster me to any wall you want. The more aggressive the better.”

She laughs, and kisses him gently before pulling her wet hair off of her body, and into one of her
hands. Letting the trickling water flow over the skin of her back.

Theo grabs the flannel, and gets down on his knees. He runs the hand towel up her legs to her
center, and cleans what he had left behind.

She hums in approval as she begins to wash her hair.

“What do you think the fight was about this time?”

Theo shrugs and stands up. Ginevra takes her own hand towel, and starts rubbing it against his skin
as he rinses her hair.

“Probably what it is always about anymore.”

Ginevra turns him around, and smacks his arse before cleaning his back.

“I love your back dimples.”

“Thanks. So did Hermione.”

She smacks his arse again a bit harder this time as he can’t stop himself from laughing.

“When did my father say they were coming?”

The smile on Theo’s face disappears. He was dreading this visit. It would be the first one since he
and Ginevra had officially moved together into their new home.

A home he is very proud of. He never thought bigger than his 11 rooms before. Never thought
there was ever an option for more. Until her.

And although the multiple interactions with her parents since they apologized, and also listened to
Ginevra share their story, were much more amicable in nature, Mrs. Weasley did not hold back on
her dislike over her daughter living with a man out of wed lock.

And the idea of having them in their new home, that they had christened every fucking surface of
since moving in, was Theo’s worst nightmare.

What if they want to sit at our kitchen table that I ate a different kind of breakfast on yesterday
morning?

How the bloody hell am I supposed to ever look her father in the eyes again?

“After they visit George and the new shop I think.” He says as he pushes his wet waves to the side
out of his eyes.

“I highly doubt you would handle them catching us naked in the shower together well.”

She turns off the water, and Theo warms her towel with a charm before wrapping it around her.

“Do you think your brother will rent the building?”

Ginevra shrugs and opens the door, breaking the silencing charm. The screaming is still continuing
next door.

“Probably. It was always their dream to open a joke shop together.”

“And if he does, do you think you will take the job he offered you?”

Theo follows her out of the loo, and over to their bed with their pieces of clothing laid out on top.

She drops her towel, and Theo can’t help but smile at the affect her naked body continues to have
over him.

I never want to get used to this.

“Yeah I think so. He will need help with organizing and designing the shop. Plus, just think of all
the fun things I can bring home to keep you on your toes.”

She winks at him as he scoffs, and rubs at his hair with the towel.

“And you could do that? Be out… there?”

He knows the question is more for himself than for her. She was the one to leave their warded
estate the most. She seemed to be the only one comfortable enough to walk in the real world again.

Draco seemed to have no personal desire to do anything, let alone venture.

But for him and Hermione, it was different. It wasn’t nerves, or lack of want, it was fear. It was the
feeling of danger all around them.

Too many people.

Too open.
Too big.

Too much to have to protect themselves from.

But even though Ginevra was comfortable being the one to pick up needed items, and travel to her
family’s houses, beginning to actually participate in the world again was a different subject.

She sighs as she moves his pirate hat on the bed side table to grab her wand underneath. “I think so.
We all have to someday, don’t we?”

“Not really. You know you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. I’m filthy rich remember?
And even those hideous shoes of yours didn’t run me dry.”

He meant it to be a joke, but her questioning expression makes him think he must have said
something wrong.

“So you don’t think you are ready to…”

The sound of a door slamming makes her stop speaking. Theo huffs as he pulls on his shirt, and
turns around.

“I’m going to go check on them. I’ll be back.”

He makes his way down the stairs and hallways. Taking in the pristine, beautifully decorated areas
of their home. Every corner he turns, and every area he looks at, has a piece of his collection on
display.

Ginevra’s idea.

To build the home to accomodate and honor his prized items. She and Hermione had finally
completed a full spreadsheet of his collection, and placed them into categories and sizes. Ginevra
looked up many different museums and exhibits around the world, and gave him the pictures for
inspiration for their home.

And it is perfect.

He opens the front door, and his face falls as he sees the evil witch hunched over on the front step.
Theo can see a shadow on the second floor pacing back and forth.

Fucking sociopaths…

Theo walks down the path, and sits down beside her.

She doesn’t look up for a second. He isn’t sure if she is crying, or contemplating, but the sniffle she
releases lets him know, and he is reaching into his pocket for the handkerchief within seconds.

“Thanks.” She says before blowing her nose. “Sorry if you heard any of that… again.”

Theo leans back, and stretches his legs in front of him.

“Hermione, we live so close, I am afraid one of those damn shoes that come smashing through
your windows is going to continue forward, and crash through one of my own. Of course we heard
it. Was it about the letters again?”

She nods, and wipes at the space under her nose one more time before sitting up straighter, and
looking ahead.

“We love each other.” She says after a few moments.

“I know.”

“But our love hurts each other.”

Theo nods his head this time, and pulls out his pack of cigarettes, both taking one. She lights their
ends, and they take a drag as they watch a bird come down into the small simple fountain within
the garden.

“Remember when you told me this all gets easier when we are given a chance to be more than just
surviving?”

He twists the smoke in his mouth, and releases the circles one after the other.

“Yeah.”

“It’s still not easier for us, Theo. I honestly think it is worse.”

“You said the same about my house.”

She turns, and pulls her eyebrows together as she takes a drag. “What?”

He points to the clean, sharp lined exterior of his home. “Around a month ago, when we had that
big setback with the second floor not being built to support my collection of books, and the entire
thing caved in, you said it looked like an even bigger mess to try and fix, than when we were
starting from nothing. And yeah, you weren’t wrong because fuck was it complicated, and
frustrating. But we did do it. We did fix it. All my books are safe now.”

“All except for one. Did you ever tell Ginny you gave your first edition Hogwarts: A History
away?”

“Did you ever tell Draco you found your mother’s ring in with his stuff?”

Both of them are silent as they watch the smoke disappear in the air.

“Truce.” They say at the same time. Making them turn to one another and laugh before she bops
him on the nose, and leans into his shoulder.

“How many letters are you up to now?”

He feels her cheek rise against his body. “15.”

“Shit.”

“How many St. Mungo application forms has Ginny hidden throughout your house?”

He laughs, and places the cigarette between his lips.

“Only seven so far. But I am sure there are more. Pretty positive if you and Draco wouldn’t have
gone at it, she would have tried to convince me to apply.”
His witch was many amazing things, but subtle was not one of them.

“And why don’t you? You are a great healer, Theo.”

“Why don’t you take the job of heading the historical documentation and curation for the second
wizard war like they have been asking for months? You want history to be written correctly more
than anything, Hermione.”

They both know why the other hesitates to move forward with these opportunities. It was the same
reason why they chose not to leave the wards, and the reason when they did, they would begin to
panic.

But he also knows that St. Mungo’s holds some of the rarest books on magical healing in the
wizarding world. And he had a few things he was still desperately trying to heal.

Hermione’s mind being one of them.

She didn’t talk a bout it much, but they all saw the other her come over her face in a pain filled
expression many times over the past couple of months. And Draco had told him that when he had
entered her mind for occlumency strengthening, he could feel something off, something wrong,
something dark.

Theo wants to learn how to help her.

But the closest thing he ever experienced to the real world was his time at Hogwarts. He never
took part in the trips to Hogsmeade. Always giving his list of desires to Draco because he was too
fearful.

“Granger, I’m sorry I…” They both turn around as Draco opens the door, and stops at seeing them
both.

“I’m sorry too.“ She says as she rises, and wipes off the back of her jeans. “I shouldn’t have kept
them a secret, and I shouldn’t use your love for me as a weapon, and I did.”

“I am not playing a role with you, Granger. That is not what this is. And I should have taken more
consideration into how I said things… I am not as quick at mastering lessons as you are.”

He smirks, and the blush on Hermione’s cheeks makes Theo think this is somehow some inside
thing between the two of them.

And by the way the air starts to feel heavier, Theo is sure he has zero desire to witness how they
were about to make up.

He smiles, and backs down the pathway.

“Can you do us all a favor, and put up a fucking silencing charm? I swear, we can now hear you
two louder than in my old rooms.”

They both laugh at him, and Draco shoots him his middle finger before they walk through their
door.

Theo shakes his head, and turns around, only to be startled by the presence of Ginevra’s parents
staring at him.
Oh shit…

“Theodore.” Mr. Weasley says with a huge smile, as he comes up to pat him on the shoulder.

Theo braces for the contact. It seemed no matter how many times Ginevra warned her huge and
abrasive family that he preferred his space, they had no idea what that truly meant.

“Sir. Ma’am.” He nods his head at them both as they stare at his newest creation. Both look at the
home with wide, surprised eyes that make him feel a bit warm inside.

A weird feeling.

Like it makes him happy that they seem to be proud.

“The house is magnificent, Theodore. I knew it would be, after what you were able to accomplish
in that horrible safe house only after a few days. Now come, show us the inside.”

“Thank you sir.” He moves out of his grasp, and opens the gate into the garden, and towards the
house.

Before he can open the door, Ginevra runs out smiling, and does a twirl with her hands up above
her head.

“Welcome to our home mum and dad! Isn’t it beautiful?!”

Mrs. Weasley lets out a huff, as she pulls a few weeds out of the flower bed closest to the front
porch.

“Yes Ginny dear, it is very nice, but I have taught you better than to plant petunias so close to
hydrangeas.”

Mr. Weasley and Ginevra both tilt their head to each other with knowing looks before ignoring her
mother’s comment, and walking in the door.

Theo waits for Mrs. Weasley to straighten, and head in herself before shutting the door.

He lets Ginevra lead the way, and give the tour. He always became mesmerized by the pure joy
that would come over her as she explained the designs, and thought process behind each room they
had built together.

Her mother only made one comment towards their relationship. When Ginevra passed their
bedroom, and called it ‘ours.’ A statement that received an awkward cough from her father, and a
comment about ‘how she was raised’ by her mother.

But rather than that, the visit was going well in Theo’s opinion. Yes, her family was a lot, but he
had become more relaxed in their presence over the past couple of months, and they also seemed to
come to more of an understanding that he was different.

“My favorite part about the house is of course how you have chosen to display your collection.
Hopefully in our new home, I will be able to rebuild mine as well. I would love your assistance if
you would be interested?”

“Absolutely sir.” Theo says as he tries to control himself from choking on his burnt chocolate.
Mr. Weasley sets down his cup, and reaches into his robe pocket to pull out a small wrapped box.
“A house warming present for the two of you.”

He holds it out towards Theo, and he takes it.

Theo opens up the box to find a small yellow animal figurine inside. He can’t stop the confusion
from showing on his face, and he hears Mr. Weasley let out a sigh at the expression.

“Merlin, I thought maybe you could tell me what it’s function is…” His voice fades as he stands
up, and picks up the duck from the box. “This was one of the few pieces of my own collection that
my wife was able to save.”

Theo’s eye widen. He was giving them one of the few items left within his Muggle collection he
took so much pride in? That, that was a lot. There is only one person he had ever given up any
piece of his collection for, and he was desperately in love with her.

“Sir, we can’t accept this. If it is one of the only artifacts you have, then you should…”

“Nonsense.” The man says before placing the duck into his hand. “You are family now,
Theodore.”

Theo gulps loudly as he looks down at the weird item. He has no clue what it is, or what purpose it
provides in the Muggle world. Maybe Hermione would tell him.

But even without knowing, he can feels it’s worth in his hands.

Even if it may mean nothing to others.

Theo glances towards Ginevra who is beaming at them both as she takes a sip of her drink.

So… I have a family now too?

Friends and a family…

He smiles as Ginevra wraps her hand into his. And her parents start talking again. Theo just sits
and listens, feeling comfortable in a way he never really feels unless he is alone with her, or with
Draco and Hermione. Maybe this is how family feels he thinks.

Sweet.
 Epilogue: 2
Chapter Notes

Only three more to go guys.

This one… is a lot.

Brace yourselves.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Hermione

7 months later

“Swallow! Swallow! Swall…”

Draco’s hands cover her ears to block out the chant from the men chugging butterbeer behind
them, but not in time. She closes her eyes and braces her hands on the edge of the table as he
whispers the silencing charm around them.

Hermione counts in her head until the panic subsides and the ringing pain in her head dissipates.

The images of Dolohov above her, forcing her mouth open and repeating those words, begin to
fade into the calm blackness.

She needs the other her to go away. Representative Musser just became free for a discussion for
the first time in over two hours since the wedding reception began.

But the switch is lasting longer again. She has noticed. Draco has noticed. Theo has noticed. She
tries to hide the distress as quickly as she can to make it less obvious.

They were doing everything they could. And even though it may be worse, she could live with it.

She could.

She has to.

A vial is pressed into her hand, and she opens her eyes to smile over at him. Not until she swallows
does he take his hands off the side of her face, rubbing her hairline back and forth with his thumb.

"Thank you."

“Do you want to go?”

She rolls her eyes as the calming draught warms her blood and makes her body feel relaxed. She
turns back around to see another ministry official already in deep conversation with the man she
had been trying to get a meeting with for over a month.

Damn it, I can’t miss out on this opportunity.

“For the third time, we are not going until the bride and groom do. No matter how uncomfortable
you and Theo are.”

He huffs in annoyance as he taps his finger against the table, never taking his eyes off the three
photographers in the tent.

One catches his glare and sneers as he raises his camera in challenge. The photographer's eyes turn
to her, and even though she knows the only thing she is doing is making the situation worse, she
leans up and kisses Draco on the cheek just as the camera flashes.

Because I don’t care, Draco.

I don’t care at all.

“What are you doing?” He leans back out of her touch as his eyes widen.

She shrugs her shoulders and pulls his resisting hand into her own.

“Loving you. The more they see us, the less of an issue it will be.”

“No, Granger, it won’t. The more they see us, the more unrest it will create.”

“That’ll change soon after I am done…”

“Can we not discuss this again right now?” He bites out.

Her hands ball into fists at his icy tone. Wanting to challenge him as that fire builds inside her. But
this isn’t the time for that argument… again.

Hermione glances back at the representative and starts digging in her bag for the transactions and
manuscript of chapter 62. She had sent the man 13 owls with a letter asking for a meeting, but she
never received any notice back. The man was busy; everyone on her team at work knew that.
Draco’s hand is on her wrist as soon as she finds the parchment and begins pulling it out.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You promised not just me but also the bride. No work tonight.”

She sighs in annoyance and tries to yank her hand out of his grip. He holds on for a moment,
turning the movement into an apparent struggle before he looks over to the photographers again
and releases swiftly.

Hermione winces at the fear she sees travel over his face. But no flash goes off. Thankfully.

The newspapers and magazines had enough scrutiny about their relationship and Draco in general.
They didn’t need more.

“She will understand. I have been trying to get a meeting with him to fact-check some of my source
material for the Scandinavian numbers for weeks, Draco. This is a special case. I have to…”

“No Granger, no work. 24 hours of no work. That is what you promised us all. Don’t make me tell
Red.” He grabs her bag and places it behind him. His grey eyes search through the large crowd that
Molly had not informed them would be in attendance, looking for an exit. When he spots it, he
holds out his hand to her. “Let’s get some air. Check on Theo.”

Hermione readjusts her dress strap that was falling once again. The dress had fit her a month ago
when she bought it, but now, it felt like she was swimming in it. As they walk, she glances back to
see Ginny trying to tie her dress into a knot to give her the ability to ride the new broom she
received as a wedding present from Ron and Padma. Molly is in the middle of yelling at her
daughter as she jumps onto the broom and takes off through the crowd, almost knocking over the
large cake.

Draco pulls her out of the tent as Hermione massages her temple to extinguish the ache that has set
in after her episode.

Another new anomaly.

“Shit, did you have a switch?”

Hermione sees Theo leaning against one of the trees furthest from the wedding tent, yet giving him
the best view inside.

“Yes, she did. 1 minute and 23 seconds this time.”

She glares up at the blonde next to her. Of course, he counted.

Theo’s eyes widen as he pulls out the notebook he always carries from his formal robes and writes
the numbers down. “That is the longest one yet. They are increasing in length every time, it seems.
Are you still going to deny it, Hermione?”

She opens her mouth to do just that but stops herself. Lying wouldn’t help. Trying to be strong
would only hurt his research. And what Theo was trying to do at work was more significant than
her. Could help more people than her. Could change how magic works for everyone.

“No. It was long," she resigns.

Theo nods as he taps the end of his quill against the parchment. Looking over the numbers and data
he has been collecting on her condition for months.

“I still think it is advancing at this rate due to your increase in stress lately.”

Here we go again…

She scoffs and steals his cigarette for a quick drag. “I work the same hours as you, Theo.”

“Yeah, but I don’t have damage from the Dark Lord living in my head.”
Hermione huffs and turns her back on both of them. Neither of them understood. They couldn’t.
She needed to complete the first historical archive and have it verified. They all needed it. The
sooner it was public knowledge of how the war actually went, the sooner people would stop
looking at them like they were the enemy.

The sooner Draco wouldn’t be attacked at almost every pardon-mandated event he had to attend, or
function he had to financially support.

The only things that got him out of their warded house.

That and this wedding.

“She brought work too,” Draco says as he swings her bag in front of Theo.

“You evil witch! You promised Ginevra you wouldn’t…”

Hermione points up toward the dark silhouette high in the air, quickly moving in the dark sky.
“Ginny is a little busy at the moment. And no one informed me that Representative Musser would
be here!”

“That’s because Mrs. Weasley didn’t tell her! Even more reason for me not to be here. With half
the fucking wizarding world invited.” Theo says as he releases a breath of smoke that he tilts his
head around to keep his eyes on the swiftly moving shadow in the sky. The sound of Molly
screaming up towards it travels down to them. At her shrill voice, the shadow does a flip that
makes Theo choke before heading toward their direction.

Her long white dress is blowing all around as the knot must have come undone with the ferocity of
her speed. Her hair that Padma had worked on for over two hours, to Ginny’s dismay, is undone
and flying in long tendrils behind her as she laughs and turns the broom, so she is flying upside
down directly towards them. For a moment, Hermione is convinced she is going to crash into them
with the speed she is traveling, but at the last possible second, Ginny rears back the broom and
comes to a complete stop directly in front of Theo, still upside down.

“Hi, ex-boyfriend.” She says as she spits out her tongue before righting herself and jumping off the
broom. Not caring whatsoever for her destroyed dress and hair. Now that Hermione is looking, she
notices two twigs stuck in the mess.

Theo grunts and pulls out one of the twigs as he looks her over for any other damage. “Stop calling
me that.”

She laughs again as she sees that the twig has a whole leaf still attached to it.

“Ginevra Molly Weasley! Your hair and dress! One daughter, the fates gave me one daughter, and
this is how she decides to look on her wedding day. In front of so many people. Come up here at
once! All of you! And say goodbye to your guests!”

All four of them make a noise of discontent. None louder than Theo. Hermione bends and tries to
press out the wrinkles and creases that had formed in Ginny’s dress from her flight.

“She is tapping her foot, and her voice went to howler level shriek. We better listen.”

And just as Hermione is somewhat happy with her work, Ginny jumps back on the broom and
takes off up to the tent where her mother is raging.

“Uhh, how much longer, Draco?” Theo asks as he presses the cigarette into the tree and straightens
his robes repeatedly. Like they're uncomfortable against his skin.

“It was supposed to end 47 minutes ago.”

“Fuck. Of course it was. Did anyone eat any of that cake?” Theo asks.

Hermione reaches for her bag again as the two are distracted, but Draco raises it out of her reach
and then tosses it to Theo.

“No. Untouched. I think the sporks confused them.”

Theo laughs a genuine laugh before waving his wand over her bag a few times and tossing it back
to her. She tries to pull it open, but she can’t.

“The wards will come undone when you hit your 24 hour mark. You need the break, Hermione.
Your body has been screaming it for months.” He shoots her a half-smile as they walk up towards
the tent. She doesn’t argue with either of them. They could ward her bag shut, charm all of her
quills not to pick up ink, hide her wand, but they all knew she didn’t need any of that. She had read
and re-read the information and historical citations for the event so often that she didn’t need the
parchment in her bag to talk about them correctly. She already had the whole conversation with
Representative Musser planned in her mind.

Theo and Draco’s efforts were pointless.

Molly is still chastising Ginny as they come to stand next to her, and she hugs Bill and Fleur before
they leave.

Theo stands the furthest back. Using her and Draco as a barrier from the tent still full of more
people than he had ever been around on purpose since school.

“Mum, stop!” Ginny swats at her mother's hand, trying to fix her hair.

“You have half a tree in your hair!”

“Better than the nest it was!”

“I agree,” Theo whispers just loud enough for Ginny to hear him.

Hermione looks over their shoulders and spots Musser shaking hands and acting like he is turning
to leave.

She rushes forward and slides her arm into Ginny’s, pulling her away from her mother's rough
corrections and yanks.

“We will go say goodbye to some guests, Molly!” Hermione yells over her shoulder as she
basically pulls Ginny along with her.

This is my one shot.

I can’t let this opportunity go.

“Hermione, what are you…”

“I need you to introduce me to him.” She points over to the tall man. “And yes, this is work-related.
And yes, I know I promised I wouldn’t do any work for your wedding day, but I have been trying
to get ahold of him for over a month, Ginny. All I need is an introduction and a short discussion to
schedule a meeting. That is it. Three, five minutes tops.”

The words come out fast and jumbled, just like her heart is feeling as they move closer to the man
pulling on his robes. Ginny groans and slows down her pace. Hermione feels her start to pry her
arm away from her, but she grabs it and holds on tight as she turns to meet her eyes.

“Please, Ginny. Please. If Draco is ever going to be treated…” her voice cracks, and she swallows
slowly before continuing. “They need this, Gin. They need their stories told correctly. Please, help
me do that.”

The redhead stares at her for a moment before letting out a long breath and pulling her forward.
“Fuck fine. Five minutes, and not a second more. I don’t even know the bloke. I think he worked
with my father before the war. But hey, I’m the bride; I can do whatever the fuck I want, right?”

They maneuver through the crowd. Hermione working as a buffer between Ginny and all the
wedding guests until they come before the representative, who gives Ginny a soft smile before
noticing Hermione next to her. For some reason, Hermione is convinced his smile falters.

“A beautiful wedding Miss. Congratulations.” Musser says as he finishes buttoning his robes.

Ginny scoffs. “No, it wasn’t. It was over the top as much as this dress is.” She swishes the heavy
material around her to make her point. “You can congratulate me when it is over Mr…”

“Musser. Gregory Musser. Your father and I used to work on the same floor in the Ministry years
ago.” He extends his hand, and Hermione flinches before realizing it is not to her.

As Ginny reaches forward, Theo comes up behind her and glares over her shoulder directly at
Hermione. Draco is following close behind with a similar expression.

“Ginevra, what are you two…”

Ginny cuts him off by pulling him to her side. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Musser. May I introduce you
to my ex-boyfriend, Theo Nott.” She says as she shakes Musser’s hand who is giving her a
questioning expression.

“Gingersnap, stop saying that.” Theo groans as he tilts his head in acknowledgment. “I’m her
husband.”

Ginny shrugs. “That’s basically what I said.”

“Uhm, I am quite aware. I was at the ceremony.” Musser responds. Keeping his eyes trained on the
newly married couple. And only the married couple as Draco comes up behind her and squeezes
her side harder than needed. Making it clear he knows what she is doing and is not in support.

“That you were. I’d also like to introduce you to my good friend, Hermione Granger.”

The man's eyes glance over at her, and she already has her professional smile that seems to work
with most people plastered onto her face as she jerks her hand out to meet his.

“Representative Musser, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

He glances down at her extended hand but does not take it.
The hand on her waist squeezes harder.

And Hermione realizes, as the smile falls from her face, and the man flashes his eyes to Draco
before meeting her own, why he never responded to her inquiries.

“You are a relentless young woman Ms. Granger, so allow me to save us both some time. I will not
be agreeing to meet with you as I do not agree with the decision to place archiving this war into the
hands of...” He glances over her right shoulder again and does not try to hide his distaste. A
thought only made more evident as he spits down at the ground just in front of Draco's feet. “A
Death Eater sympathizer like yourself. Good day.”

She is lunging forward before she even realizes it. Her hand smacks against the man's face, the
heat from the force and contact burning deep into her body as her eyes water.

A gasp from Ginny, and a yank backward from Draco brings her back and has her mouth opening
with everything she wants to say to the numerous people like the small-minded man in front of her.

“He was pardoned! He was a member of The Order, you vile excuse for a man!” Draco’s arms
wrap around her and pick her up, but she fights against him. Trying to get as close to Musser, who
is staring at her in disbelief. “If it wasn’t for him, Voldemort would still be alive! He would have
won!”

Draco hoists her over his shoulder and turns quickly. Flashes are happening. People are staring.
But she doesn’t give one single fuck. She is so sick of people not taking the time to believe more.
To look deeper. To understand.

“You have no idea what you are talking about! No idea at all! You have no clue the man that
Draco Malfoy is, you fucking…”

Her words are cut off as the spin of apparition has her losing her breath, and the vision of Musser
holding his reddening cheek alters. She closes her eyes and grabs onto his shoulders as they land
on the stoop right outside their warded estate.

He places her on the ground in front of him, and her hands start smacking against his chest over
and over again as she heaves in her fury.

“He is wrong! They are wrong!”

His cool arms wrap around her and squeeze her tightly into him, just as she likes. She continues to
lose it, and he lets her. Until her body stops shaking and her breathing comes more regularly.

“I’m going to fix it. I am Draco. I promise. They will know the truth soon.”

She hears him sigh as he presses his lips into her hair and begins to rub her forearms. A noise that
lets her know he wants to argue. That he doesn’t agree. Something she is well aware of, but he
doesn’t say anything.

He lets her have this moment. She knows he is blaming himself. Internally telling himself that this
was his fault. That her life, job, and future would all be easier without him attached to her.

But Hermione knows how untrue all that is. She needs him. She has always needed him, but she
knows his presence is a necessity now more than ever before.

A pop beside them has them both looking to see Theo and Ginny.
“You missed it! Minerva almost slapped the bastard herself after you left! Put him in his place,
and…” Ginny tosses a card their way, and Draco catches it. “Got you a meeting with his boss
instead of him.”

Draco hands her the card with the contact information, along with a time stamp and location on the
back. She didn’t even try to go for the head of the department he represented. If the unit leader was
that hard to get a hold of, she couldn’t imagine the head being any easier.

“I’m so sorry, Ginny. I shouldn’t have…”

Ginny laughs and shakes her head. “No, Hermione! You should have! It wouldn’t be a Weasley
wedding without some lucrative interruption. That was my favorite part of the whole ridiculous
day, to be honest, no offense, Teddy.”

“None taken. It was mine too. Gave us an excuse to leave early.” He says as he swings his arm
around Ginny but keeps his concerned eyes on her.

“I still wish you two would actually take a holiday to celebrate.” She couldn’t help but feel guilty.
They could both lie and come up with every excuse in the book, but Hermione knew they weren’t
leaving because of her. Not with Theo finishing his term with St. Mungo’s and being given his
own research lab to continue his work on the healing abilities within Dark Magic.

They were all so proud of him. It had not been easy for him to adjust to a classroom again with
other people. Luckily one of the instructors was willing to work with Theo and his specific needs to
thrive.

Ginny interlaces her fingers with Theo as she shakes her head, and they all walk forward through
the thick layer of wards that recognize and allow them in.

“We will later. I have my tryouts for the Harpies next week, and he has his…”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Theo rushes ahead of them as his mouth drops open at
the sight of multiple similar items all in a line on his front porch. It takes Hermione a second before
she realizes what they are and starts laughing hysterically alongside Ginny. She even sees Draco
crack a genuine smile as Theo races up and reads the note attached to the one with a big red bow
before crumpling and throwing it onto the ground.

“I knew those shitheads left the reception early for a reason! What the bloody hell are we going to
do with seven hideous bean bags?!” He kicks one to emphasize his point, but Blaise must have
placed a sticking charm to the bottom because it does not move. “Worst wedding present by far.
Even beating your Great Aunt Tessy’s handmade coasters.”

He kicks the bag again as Ginny doubles over in laughter and points over to Hermione and Draco.

“They did better than you two! You didn’t even get us anything! And after everything we have
been through.”

Draco scoffs and gestures toward Theo. “I let you build your monstrosity of a home on my
property, Red. That is present enough.”

“Prick.”

“Bitch.”

Hermione ignores them and turns to Theo, who is trying to destroy the bags on his porch to no
avail. Knowing Blaise, he probably paid an exorbitant amount of money to make them
indestructible.

“I actually did get you a wedding present. It is in your kitchen. In your brown book next to the
spatulas.”

Theo stops mid spell and jerks his head to hers. She watches him process what she just inferred and
sees when it hits him. Without a word, he rushes into their front door and disappears.

Ginny moves to stand next to her as she wipes the tears from laughing off of her face. “What could
you have given us that would be placed in our kitchen and…”

“YOU EVIL WITCH!” The front door smashes off the house's outer wall as Theo jumps over a
bean bag and wraps his arms around Hermione. She grunts at the force and then squeals as he
swings her around and around.

Told you I would make you a hugger, Theodore Nott.

“Is it really it?! You aren’t fucking with me?”

He asks as he lets her down and holds the recipe card in between them. She smiles and nods her
head at the parchment.

“Yes, that is the recipe. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Nott.”

Theo’s face breaks into one of the biggest smiles she has ever seen before he pulls her in again.

“I love you so much, Hermione.”

“I love you too, Theo.”

A loud cough breaks their embrace as they look back at their partners.

“You know, I’m the girl you married today? If anyone should be getting thrown around, it should
be me.”

They both laugh and pull away, and Theo does just that before he kisses her deeply and places her
back on the ground.

“Sorry, wife.” He speaks against her lips.

She smiles and threads her fingers into his long and messy brown hair.

“It’s okay, husband.” She giggles and pulls away. “That is so weird to say, husband. You’re my
husband.”

Theo smiles down at her and caresses her cheek with his thumb as she continues to repeat the word.
He stares at her lips working the syllables, and Hermione nudges Draco to start walking away. To
give them this time and moment of privacy.

“And you’re my wife, Mrs. Ginevra Nott.”

Hermione looks back as Theo picks up Ginny, and she lets out another laugh before kissing him
again. Hermione can’t stop looking at them. At how happy and easy they are together…

“Why… why can’t we be like them?”

She regrets the words as they leave her, and his body reacts by hardening and becoming sharper.

“Because we aren’t them, Granger.” He says before slipping in their door.

Her eyes are burning with the tears she is trying to keep in. No, they are not Theo and Ginny. They
couldn’t be. She knows that. But they both need more than what they have been for both
themselves and for each other.

This world was not being kind to either of them. But she is going to fix that. She just needs to work
harder. Spend more time writing and compiling facts and sourced information. She needs to have
her team push the publications so she can move on to the next installment that will bring light to so
many personal stories and truths, including their own.

Once it was out there, people would believe. They have to. She has to be able to create a world
where freedom exists for them. Where their sacrifices are known, and their bravery is
acknowledged.

Where Draco Malfoy and others just like him have a place in society.

She has to make it.

She has to believe it will be real.

Draco

2 months later

They have been screaming at each other for so long he has lost count of the minutes. Her voice is
beginning to crack, and her eyes are sparking so much in her anger that they seem more orange
than brown.

But he was finding this was one thing he could do with Granger. He could be angry with her. He
could feel his wrath and hers to the full extent. Let that emotion take over his mind and actions, and
participate within it.

He can’t do that with many things. Always keeping the distance that made it possible for him to
breathe, yet still gave him the ability to be near her as he still longed to be.

So if this was the one area strong enough to forget the guilt for a moment, he reveled in it.
And he suspects she does as well. They both had to find a way to release in some form they were
capable of doing together.

It feels so good to feel again.

He can’t even remember what this current argument stemmed from. Maybe it was about her
working over 100 hours again this week. Maybe it was about their picture in Witch Weekly that
was on the table. Showing Draco forcefully shoving a potion down her throat over and over again.
What it doesn’t show is the dessert with three ripe strawberries sitting on top of it. Or that she
started crying and switching in front of him at the sight of the fruit, and how she needed the potion
to calm down. No. Instead, the paper painted him out to be the abusive partner to the Golden Girl.

Or maybe the fight began because he missed two of the pardon-mandated events he was supposed
to attend. He honestly doesn’t have a clue. There was plenty for them to be fighting about. Plenty
they held in that built until it overtook them.

It isn’t that they like this, what they have become over the last year.

No, they hate it.

He can’t stand to see her cry and know he is the reason for her tears. And she hates that he can’t
look at her for too long without it causing him pain.

But it is all they have left.

The pain caused by their love.

The war took everything else.

It has never been more evident as he looks at her before him, waving her thin, pale arms above her
head. Her hair, dull and coarse. Her right hand down to 44 freckles again. He knows they can’t
continue like they have been.

He is ruining her.

Still.

And somehow, it feels even worse because he knows it is all his fault. He is breaking his promise
to himself, to her father, to her, that he would make sure she became everything she was meant to
be. Instead, he is watching her fall apart.

Her switches increasing.

Her body becoming dangerously thin.

Her nightmares causing her lack of sleep.

All because of him.

He isn’t even hearing what she is saying anymore. He knows he has heard it all before. It was
always the same with them. They would say a lot without saying anything of much importance.
Words filled with everything but what actually needed to be said. What needed to be addressed.
“We can’t keep doing this.” He whispers, the truth setting into his bones as he looks at the ghost in
front of him.

She stops her tirade and freezes. “What is that supposed to mean? Doing what? Fighting? If you
think I want to do this, Draco, then you truly have turned this divide between us into a cavern.
Because I hate this!” She stomps her foot as her voice cracks again. “But it is the only time I even
get a glimpse of you! It is the only time I feel like I am with an actual human instead of a shell.
And I will take your anger over nothing. Whether that is wrong or right, or unhealthy, like our
mind healer likes to remind us. I don’t fucking care!”

She slams her hands onto the kitchen table in between them as she begins to cry heavily again. If
she didn’t care about him, this would all be easier. He never thought he would wish for a world
where she didn’t have feelings for him, but he has learned to never have expectations with life.
Because if she didn’t, he could walk away. It wouldn’t be the impossible standstill they have been
in for months. Wanting to love each other like they have given so much to be granted the
opportunity to experience. The problem is, he thinks they may have given too much.

She lets out a pained hiccup as she raises her head and meets his eyes. "It was supposed to be easy
now! We won! We fucking won! Living and loving were supposed to become easier! Why isn't it
easier, Draco? Why does it feel more impossible than ever before? What is wrong with us!?"

“My love hurts you, and your love hurts me.”

They both have said this to one another many times over the last year.

She lets out a humorless laugh as she shakes her head up at the ceiling. She tries to hide the waiver
in her balance due to the quick movement. He knows she didn’t eat today. He had paid one of her
team members to send him an owl every day informing him whether the woman ate the food he
sent to her office at lunch. For the third day in a row, the response was no.

Granger grabs hold of the top of the chair to try to balance herself again. "Love, is that what you
call it? You can't keep sacrificing everything about yourself for me and deem that love. That isn't
love. That takes you away from me. That isn't the only choice anymore. You can choose to be
more. To be an us. To be a team. To change this world with me like I know we could!"

She reaches into his robes hanging on the back of the chair and pulls out the S.P.E.W pin she gave
him. She digs into the back pocket of her jeans and brings out some of the notes. Laying them and
the pin onto the table. She grabs the book he brought her from his library off of the counter. She
disappears for a moment to come back in with her bottle of lavender and vanilla soap and tosses
them onto the pile.

They both stare at all the objects in between them.

She points down. "This is love, Draco. All of these things are what love is supposed to look like
now. Without the daily choice between survival and death. I love you now by touching you when
you are low. I love you now by reminding you of your bravery. I love you now by not waking you
up because I know how much you hate mornings. I love you now by devoting myself to making
sure the world knows who you truly are by..."

"By what, Granger?!" He cuts her off, making her jump with his scream and fury that he can’t
contain anymore. Not if she is going to say that next sentence again. Because he can't listen to this
one more fucking time. To her delusional idea that she is any better than him in this area. Because
she isn’t. That was his whole damn argument and issue for months now. Something she didn’t
seem to be able to grasp.
You want to make a point? Fine, I’ll make a fucking point too.

He digs into her beaded bag on the counter and begins to toss forms, manuscripts, audits, archives,
statistical analysis sheets, and who knows what the fuck else out. He keeps throwing them onto the
table. Form, after form, after form until everything she deemed what his love looked like was
covered.

"By working yourself to death and having me watch?! To listen to your ever so righteous attitude
that states it is all for me! To right my name, our story in history! Like I fucking care! Like
watching your switches becoming longer, seeing you wither away to nothing, watching your
credibility be thrown out the window due to your association with me, having to sit back as you try
to control everything and everyone! What you are fighting for is impossible, Granger! Give it up!!
Because this isn't love either."

Her obsession with everyone knowing the truth of his role in the war was blinding her. Like she
said, it was his story, yet she didn’t listen to a fucking word he said or what he wanted. He didn’t
give two shits if the world thought he was the villain. Because they wouldn’t be wrong in that
regard. He is sure if you were to talk to the families of the nine people he killed, they would agree
he was a villain. Or the child of the woman on the stage. Or the parents of the teenagers he had
butchered. It was not an easily digestible story. To write the truth would be to ask people to go to a
very uncomfortable place, including himself. To share and be vulnerable in a way he has no desire
to be with the wizarding world.

He only cared about her opinion. He only cared about being a hero in her eyes, to her. And she
could lie to his face and still deem him her hero time and time again, but her obsession with
proving it made it seem empty. That she needed others to see what she sees. Know what she
knows. That just him and her were not enough. And it made it all too clear to him that the backlash
they do, and will continue to receive if they stay together, was affecting her. She did care about it.
He is waiting for one of these photos or fights that followed to finally be the one that pushes her to
walk away. Because he never could. They both knew it would never last or work if he was the one
to initiate walking away. She had to be the one.

Maybe this fight is it. Maybe she will finally be tired of fighting for something she realizes isn’t
enough anymore. That with the world going back to normal, and light finally shining through the
darkness, all the missing pieces of him were more evident than ever before. The truth bare and on
display.

She shakily tries to organize all the pieces of parchment he flung all over the table. Treating each
one like something invaluable, precious. Like she is trying to console them from his mistreatment.
She stacks them on top of each other as she mumbles to herself incoherently. The stack measures
up to her neck before she places the last sheet and then steps back and gestures to the exorbitant
amount of information.

"This is love! All of it, every single sentence is the ultimate way for me to show everyone my
choice. Because I chose you! I made that choice years ago! Now it is your turn, Draco! It is your
turn to choose me!"

He has her plastered against the kitchen counter even before she finishes her insane statement. She
tries to straighten, so he is no longer towering over her as his breaths come out short and forced.
But the counter he is pushing her against makes her arch her back and lean to meet his gaze. She
can’t look anywhere else but at him and his anger.

"You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about! How fucking dare you say that I need to
choose? I chose you before I even knew it was a choice, Granger! I chose you over anything and
everything else for fucking years!"

"Then choose me now!" She balls her hands into the small space between their chests as her lip
quivers and her eyes water. "Choose me over the grief! Choose to be more with me!"

“And choose me over your need for control!”

He smashes his hands on the counter around her and watches her jump again, making her blink,
and two large tears fall from her eyes down onto the floor.

Hate me. Hate me. Hate me like I hate myself.

She begins to open her mouth to respond when the horrible, broken, cherp from the grandfather
clock Theo made them keep at their place, begins to go off. They both glance over at the time, and
Draco inflates.

“You have to go. You cannot miss another event.”

He hates how quickly she straightens and wipes her wet cheeks, setting her face back to one of
determination. Because this was their new normal. The realization makes him sick.

He doesn’t want to end this. Not when they were finally getting somewhere. When it felt like
maybe she was reaching a breaking point, but he knows she is right. He has to. He missed last
week's event discussing the intricacies of the new educational and housing system for children. An
endeavor his family assets were paying for. Minerva had not been happy. He couldn’t miss again.

Draco picks up his S.P.E.W pin underneath the mess of items and places it back into his pocket as
he throws on his robes.

He walks to the door and turns to look at her. She is still standing where he trapped her. Arms
crossed with a contemplative yet pain-filled expression on her face.

He wants her to come. These events were better with her. Everything was better with her, but she
was too busy with her own endeavors, and people tended to be cruel towards her.

He was cruel enough to her nowadays. She didn’t need it from others.

He apparates to the large manor that used to be the summer home his family occasionally stayed in
on the outskirts of London.

The Ministry had chosen to sequester this, and a few other properties during their liquidation of the
30% agreed upon within his pardon. They didn’t want anything to do with Malfoy Manor. Leaving
the place that holds so many nightmares for him, and the people he cared about, in his possession.

That is where he still hides his nightmares, his darkness.

Where he keeps them caged.

But they did deem the summer estate a perfect fit for one of the main focus points of the new
wizarding world.

As he adjusts from apparating, he sees Minerva standing next to the gate with another group of
people. Her foot is tapping but stops as she sees him and gestures impatiently for him to join.

He keeps his eyes on the ground as he walks over. Knowing full well the dirty and on-guard looks
he is receiving. He always received them.

“So glad to see you have decided to grace us with your presence for today’s proceedings, Mr.
Malfoy. Even if you are late.”

“Sorry Pro… Headmistress.”

The group walks toward the manor as she waves her hand at him and places her arm within his
bent one.

“None of that. You are no longer my student. It is Ms. McGonagall.”

He acknowledges and leads her behind the group discussing the plans for the land. Where to put
the Quidditch pitch. The best spots for tables for outdoor studying. A play area for the younger
children that was separate from the school.

Draco doesn’t say a word. He wasn’t here to give opinions. They made that clear to him months
ago. He was here because the Ministry and McGonagall thought it would be helpful for him.

Just another role to play.

They continue the discussion into the home. He was never attached to this place. They came here
to be close to the city. They never spent much time actually on the property. But he can agree with
the Ministry that it was an excellent choice for a temporary school and housing facility.

After much discussion and argument, the Ministry agreed to close Hogwarts until a new generation
that didn't experience the darkness of the last few years within the castle could attend once more.

The place held too many horrible memories for them. What they witnessed. What they were forced
to do. They couldn't place them back in the same environment where some of the worst moments
of their lives were around every corner.

They needed a new environment to heal. To learn.

And this manor was going to be the location. Minerva had the idea of also creating a sort of
housing facility for children whose parents passed during the war. Most of them Muggle-born. It
was an initiative that was giving the world hope again. A reason to smile as they all worked to be
better for the next generation.

They map out the rooms for renovations. Which ones would be classrooms, dorms, and a dining
hall. Creating a plan for the wards and safety charms that would need to be placed. They discuss
every little detail. He doesn't say a word.

He tries to be present, but his mind is still back with her. Wondering if Theo went over and did
damage control. Or if she was still crying. Or if she went to her office to stay until morning instead
of being with him tonight.

It could be any of those things, but he thinks he is wrong. Because this fight felt different. It felt
heavier. They had both been crueler and more forthright than they usually dared to be.

What if she isn’t there when I get back? What if she left?

Bile burns his throat at the thought.

At what he dreads but also hopes for.

He can feel Minerva's eyes on him throughout the entire meeting. He thinks it is his slow pace or
lack of engagement that seemed to frustrate her to no end.

But when they finally finish the discussion and set a time for the next meeting to see how things
are coming along, she holds tight to his arm, not allowing him to leave.

"I have a few things I would like to discuss with you in my office if you have the time, Mr.
Malfoy." She begins to pull him down one of the hallways before he can even respond. They walk
until she opens the door to an old study it seems is now an office.

He looks around as she walks in front of him, taking in the familiar style of his father and mother
still interspersed throughout the room.

"Quite different from Hogwarts. But I think the students and children will find comfort here. Don't
you agree?" She says as she sits down behind her desk.

Draco nods as he takes a chair in front of her. It is much smaller than the castle, but it would work
for their needs. And also may help students feel safer. It felt more like a home than a fortress. And
it was a building clean of any remnants or significance to the war.

"I am surprised Ms. Granger has not joined you in these meetings. I would think she would love to
be involved.”

"She is very busy." The words come out colder than he means, and as he looks up, he knows it was
recognized.

"Yes… I have noticed…" she taps her finger on the wooden surface as she looks him over. Not
seeming to like what she sees. "She seems to be doing what we all expected her to do."

Draco leans back in his chair as an image of her side of the closet being empty flashes in his mind.
"Yes. She was always meant to change the world."

McGonagall laughs lightly and shakes her head. "Merlin no, that would be quite a feat to place on a
young adult. I am speaking of her inability to recognize her own limits."

Draco's eyes shoot up to meet his old professor, who is wearing a knowing expression.

"She has always had that problem. I was never in agreement with giving her a time-turner at the
young age of 13 like Albus was…"
"A time-turner?"

"...If a child needed a time-turner to effectively do everything they believed they needed to do, then
that in and of itself was cause for concern, I said to him…"

"Dumbledore gave her a time-turner during 3rd year?"

"...not something we teachers should have supported. Especially in the case of Ms. Granger, who
already placed too much of her worth in her actions and mind."

Draco's mouth is hanging open. To finally learn how she was able to take so many classes that
year. He remembers being beside himself that she was somehow capable of doing something he
couldn't do.

Because she didn't do it. She cheated time. Cunning. I always knew you had Slytherin in you,
Granger.

“That is what she is doing, correct?” She directs at him.

What’s he supposed to say? He agreed wholeheartedly with his professor, but talking about her
with someone other than Theo was foreign to him. He had yet to do it successfully, even with his
mind healer. But he doesn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t listening to him. She wasn’t even
listening to Theo. Maybe she would listen to her.

“Yes.” He rubs his hands back and forth on the arms of the chair. Uncomfortable with the
confession. “She won’t stop no matter what I say. She… I think after having no control for so long,
she is trying to control everything.”

McGonagall tilts her head as she lets out a hum in response, tapping her finger on the table. She
taps it 21 times before she speaks again.

“So, she is moving too fast while you are standing too still. That must be a difficult dynamic to
maneuver, yes?”

Draco meets her eyes again. What was that supposed to mean? ‘While he was standing too still.’
He was here, wasn't he? He showed up this time. And yes, while he did have a record for missing
some of these meetings and events, he made it to more than he missed. He participated when he
was forced. Why would he ever have the desire to leave his safely warded and walled-in areas?

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks as he straightens up in the chair. Looking back towards
the door. Contemplating leaving.

"I know what the rot from sitting for too long within grief and guilt look like, Mr. Malfoy. I have
stood in that spot too many times to count." A sad smile plays across her face as she folds her
hands on the wooden surface. Her throat contracts as she turns her gaze away from him and down
to her hands. Draco watches her rub them back and forth with no inherent rhythm. "It hurts to look
at her, doesn't it? It hurts to see your hands moving… capable of doing what they have done, or not
done, before. I understand because I experience this when I look at you."

She balls her hands into fists as she looks up, and they stare at one another. She purses her lips and
hesitates for a moment before it seems like she forces herself to push forward. "I experience it
when you, Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Weasley, Ms. Patil, Ms. Parkinson, Mr. Nott, Ms. Granger, and
many more look at me. Because I knew the moment you raised your wands at the Battle of
Hogwarts, I failed you as a mentor, as a confidant, and as a person. You were children. You had no
place being in a war. I didn't do my job in protecting you. And Mr. Malfoy, that was not my first
time to fail in that area. I failed… so many more from the generation before you. The guilt of those
mistakes, of my ignorance, and my lack of will to fight against others, is something that will be a
part of me for the rest of my life. They… you, are all mine to carry within my grief. Just as I see
you struggling to carry your own."

He turns away from her, and the words that hit his walls and make them shake. He tenses his
shoulders and rolls his neck as he focuses on keeping them intact. Everything was already too close
to the surface after his fight with Granger. He didn’t need things like this being said to him by
someone else now too.

“Mr. Malfoy?”

Fuck, she needs to stop talking. She needs to stop making him think things, and feel things with her
confession. He was alone in this. It was safer to be alone in this.

“Mr. Malfoy?”

“What!?” He snaps as he looks back up at her to see her eyes widening at the rage she hears.
“What do you want me to say? What can be said to fix any of this?! Words can’t fix this, this
reality.”

He huffs out a few breaths as she watches him, unblinking. He should be embarrassed, but he
doesn’t have it in him to give a fuck anymore. His life was falling apart around him. He was falling
apart. She was falling apart. What did it matter what he said?

“No, they can’t. Words are empty without action, but words can lead to understanding, to actions
with a clearer and more effective result.” McGonagall sits up and reaches over the desk.

She pauses briefly before embracing his wrists and pulling them up to lay on the top. Her fingers
force his one hand to form a fist on the surface. “It does not go away, the grief. That I can tell you
for certain. It stays.”

Draco watches her turn his wrist as she looks down at his fist. “It does not grow smaller either like
some seem to believe. It stays the same,” she says.

“Then… How do you live?” He whispers as he looks down at the round shape his hand makes.
Feeling any hope he had left, deflating.

“What I have learned, Mr. Malfoy, in my many years of carrying and making mistakes with my
loss and regrets, is that the grief…” She taps his fist again. “Stays the same. But life…” She places
her hands on each side of his fist and opens them wide. “…Can grow bigger around it if we allow
it. Mourning has its place, but if we stay sequestered in our grief for too long, it will fill us with
disease as anything stagnant does with time.”

She grabs his other hand and places it half under his fist. This one is open, slightly holding his
other. Her two hands open and slide under the fist as well. All holding it now.

“If we allow our lives to become bigger than the grief. If we allow others to join us and make our
experience within this world bigger with their connection, with their strength. The grief that stays
the same is placed in a space where it doesn’t take up every breath anymore. Because your life,
Mr. Malfoy, is much bigger than this.” She folds her two hands around his fist to hold it between
her own. “It is not meant to be carried alone. It is not meant to be the only constant within your life.
Let Ms. Granger make it more. Let Mr. Nott, Ms. Weas… I mean, Mrs. Nott, Mr. Zabini, Ms.
Parkinson, Ms. Greengrass all make it more. And allow yourself to make their lives more in
return.”

He swallows and tries to escape her embrace, but she surprises him with her strength by keeping
his hand between her own. Not allowing him to pull away. He needs to pull away. As his throat
begins to burn and his eyes begin to sting.

“Mr. Malfoy…”

“How?” The word is broken and weak, just like him. It shows everything that had been falling
apart, taken, given, and destroyed within himself over the years of his sad life.

“You allow her in. And she allows you to hold.” She raises their joined hands and taps them a
couple of times against the surface. “You compromise, and choose to work together instead of in
opposition. You allow each other to help carry, to strengthen each other where the other is weak.
An area you two seem to do surprisingly well together from what I witnessed and observed. And
you allow each other the choice within the matter.”

When we are a team.

They used to be a team. He used to feel stronger in her presence. Filled with hope and dreams of
what he was throwing away right now. Was it really that easy? To let her in? To allow her to see
what his grief is? Even if it is all about her? How could she help him with that? She is doing too
much already. How would placing more on her help her?

“She is carrying too much already, Ms. McGonagall. She… She is disappearing under everything
she is trying to do.”

His old professor nods in understanding. “That is not your choice to make, Mr. Malfoy. Sometimes,
by helping another, especially someone we care deeply for, we become stronger in the act. In the
act of giving in an area, we have that another may need. Allow her that choice, and she in return to
you.”

Is that true? Allowing her in and giving her the ability to help him, would make her stronger?
Would that attention, that compromise be enough to make her listen? Is that what she was truly
wanting?

His head begins to ache behind his eyes as he takes this all in. He never was able to be open. He
was always caging in parts of himself. Forming walls and barriers to protect. He has been doing it
so long that he has no idea how to allow himself to feel. How to handle the weight of it. But maybe
she would help him. She always burned down his walls. Maybe instead of reinforcing, he should
let her.

Let her see everything.

His old professor lets go of his hands and seems about to speak again when the sound of a door
slamming makes them both jump.
"Draco?! Draco?!"

Fuck.

He can hear even within her yelling the fear in her voice. He looks over at the clock and realizes he
should have been home a long time ago.

He always came home when he was supposed to.

Ever since her switches started happening more often, it seemed so did the fear of something
happening to him when he left.

Which was hardly ever.

He rises from his chair and runs out of the room and down the hallways toward her still screaming
voice.

Screaming for him. Because he is sure, she convinced herself something must have happened to
him to make him late. Something terrible.

He rounds the corner and sees her spinning around, looking at all the different pathways to search
for him. Her body is shaking, and her face is wet with tears, and her eyes are wide with fear.

"Granger."

Her head jerks at his voice, and as soon as she sees him, she runs into his arms and begins to move
her hands all over him. Frantically looking for some problem, some injury, something that isn't
there.

"You're okay, you're okay. You, you were late, and you are never late. And I thought, I thought
that…" She hiccups and sobs as he pulls her against him and squeezes hard. In the exact way that
seemed to help her calm down. To come back.

"Shh it's okay, Granger. I am okay. I should have flooed to let you know..."

"I am so sorry. I am so sorry for everything! I need you, Draco. I need you to be okay, and in my
life, and I don't care about everything else. I just, I just need and love you."

He buries his face into the top of her head and breathes in the familiar and calming scent of her
shampoo as she holds tightly to him.

Like he was her lifeline as well. She always used to say he made her feel on fire.

He can't lose her. He can't lose this. He can't ruin this or allow her to either.

Keep touching me, Hermione.

For the rest of my life, never stop.

He separates to look at her to ensure that she is back. That she is no longer battling her own mind.

She gives him a small smile and wipes at her face. "I'm back. I'm sorry. But thank you. See? See
how much I need you? See how I have no control without you? I can't lose you, Draco. I admit it. I
admit I don't know what to do, but I know what we are doing isn't working, but I want to make
things better. I want…"

He stops her by pressing his lips to hers. Because he thinks this is what they need right now.

"Draco, wha..."

He kisses her fully. Walls down. Emotions at the surface. Combining with his actions in a way that
she must sense in his body language as she whimpers and opens up for him. He presses her back
into the wall behind them and deepens the kiss. Needing her touch. He was starved for it. Keeping
his distance for so long from the one thing he craved more than anything was eating him alive.

He needs her to touch him. All of him. On the inside and outside.

With every press, and tilt, and swipe of her tongue, a wall shatters. Not just in his mind, but the
ones he had been building around himself.

Walling his teammate out.

Like Minerva said, they were not built to work in opposition. They would both destroy if they did.

She isn't my enemy.

His body begins to tremble with everything it is unaccustomed to experiencing. Letting him know
it is too much. Telling his brain to shut down something.

Her warm hand comes up to his cheek, and he opens his eyes to see her shaking her head.

"No, don't stop. Let me in. Let me see it. Let me feel it with you. I love you, Draco. No matter what
you show, I will love you. And no matter what your mind tries to tell you, your love saved me. It
saved me. Let me fight this battle with you."

"Fuck, I love you."

He holds her so close as they try to feel everything with each other. Hands traveling along each
other's skin as reassurance. Mouths and breaths combining and working together to prove how
natural it could be for them to support in unity. Bodies pressing and fitting together to fill each
other's missing pieces.

"We are going to figure this out."

She agrees as she runs her hand through his hair and holds the nape of his neck.

"But… I have a few expectations and boundaries. Like last time." He whispers against her lips
which are salty from the tears she must have continued to cry after he left.

"What do you mea..." he cuts her off by kissing her again.

"60 hours of work a week, and not a second more. Deal?"

He pulls away to look at her directly in her fiery eyes. To see if she understood what was
happening. He can see her mind trying to put it together and witnesses when it clicks and the
corners of her mouth rise.

"Deal," she says.

He smiles back. "You eat the lunch I send you every day."

"Deal."

"You attend as many of my mandatory events with me as possible, as mine. Because you,
Hermione Granger, are mine."

The hand on the back of his neck squeezes. "Deal."

"And you stop throwing shoes at..."

"We both know you don't want that to stop." She giggles, and it is the best sound he has heard in a
long time.

"And I will not wall you out anymore."

Her breath hitches. "Deal."

"I will participate in the outer world more often with you. In the areas we are both comfortable."

"Deal."

"I will buy you that monogrammed apron too, and you..."

Her hand comes up to cover his mouth. "That isn't happening either, Draco."

He smiles down at her and watches her face light up and become noticeably less muted than she
had looked before.

I want to do this to you. I want to make you hope and feel alive and on fire again. I want to be that
again.

"I want to be what I have always wanted to be for you. A partner. A teammate. Can you help me be
that again?"

He leans forward and rests his forehead against hers.

"Only if you help me be yours," she whispers.

He smiles and kisses her forehead. They can do this. They can figure this out. It isn't too late. It
isn't going to be easy, and he is sure they will both fuck up, and fight, and still go at it. But he looks
at her now and allows himself to see what she has always been for him.

Hope.
"Deal."

Theo

1 month later

The floor underneath their bed is covered in dust.

The back of his sleeve has lines and smudges of the grey particles all over it as he raises his
trembling arm to swallow another potion.

It isn’t helping, though.

Just like the last four hadn’t helped either.

Theo squeezes his eyes shut at the black dots in his vision, and it feels like the bed above him has
fallen onto his chest.

Calm down, Theo boy. You have to calm down.

But I can’t fucking calm down!

I can’t do this. I can’t believe I did this…

He grabs the sides of his head and digs his nails into the skin. Maybe one more potion is what he
needs. He reaches from under the bed for his healing kit and grabs the last calming draught he has.
It was a special brew he came up with in his private research lab at St. Mungo’s. It did more than
the ordinary calming draught. His unique potion didn’t just mask the panic by slowing down the
heart; it also sent endorphins to the mind. Making both body and brain believe everything was
okay.

But Theo’s panic is a monster of its own kind. More than an attack. More than the normal anxiety.

And as he feels this last potion warming his blood and mind, yet the shaking and weight stay, he
knows it would not fix his problem.

Nothing could fix this problem.

Nothing except for…

He opens his eyes and stares up at the DLM, TAN, and HJG carved into the wood.
He hasn’t been under here for a long time. Hadn’t felt the need to hide from his monsters, or to be
where he believed monsters should be.

Theo has no idea how his life had become what it had during the past couple of years. It was one
he never would have imagined in his wildest dreams.

To have friends.

To have a hot as fuck wife.

To have a home.

To have a job.

To feel like he belongs in every single area of his life.

Even in his own body.

Up until now.

As he deals with the knowledge that his body had betrayed him again. Like the monster it is. Like
it is trying to right now, as he gasps for the air he can’t seem to get in fast enough.

I am never coming out.

I can’t come out.

I can’t be…

He feels the floor underneath him shake. A sign that there was movement nearby. He glances at
the closed bedroom door to see the shadow still there within the gap above the floor.

She hasn’t moved.

But someone is moving.

Which means she flooed them.

Shit…

He tries to switch to breathing through his nose to help control his racing heart. As soon as she tells
them, it will make this all real. Even more real than what he is currently nonstop picturing in his
mind. All of the horrible and vomit-inducing images and scenes playing over and over again.

He knew life was becoming too good. Something had to happen. Something always happened.

Theo sees another shadow combine with the other one underneath the door. He can’t hear them,
though. No. He already placed his wards and silencing charm so he could lose his fucking mind in
peace.
Theo liked to fix and make things. He was good at it. An area of himself he was continuously
gaining confidence in with every admirable appreciation of his home and successful and supported
new ventures at work.

But… he can’t think of a way to fix this.

Of unmaking this.

He hears a noise he remembers from a while ago.

It isn’t a mouse, Theo. There will never be a fucking mouse in your beautiful home.

He tilts his head to see the piece of parchment half under the closed door.

But unlike last time, he doesn’t get up to read it. He knows what Hermione wrote. If Ginevra told
her what he did, her response would be unquestionable.

And as he feels his wards being destroyed, he knows Gingersnap also told Draco how long he has
been under the bed already.

He could try to rebuild them and keep Draco out, but with how bad his body is losing its shit, he
doesn’t think he would be capable of casting a simple disillusionment charm, let alone barrier
wards.

The last one breaks, and Ginevra’s whimpers are the first thing he hears as the door opens, and
Theo’s body responds automatically.

He can’t breathe.

He can’t think.

Everything in him is bouncing, to the fork in his hand, to the crucio hitting him from behind, to the
fridge warded shut against him, to the drunken swings connecting with his body.

Father.

His father.

That is all he sees attached to that word.

Nothing good.

Nothing ever, ever good.

“No, Granger. You two stay out here. Give us some time.”

Thank you, brother.

Even though you did break my fucking wards.

The door shuts, and he hears Draco walk over to the side of the bed, whispering something about
‘getting tired of the damn ground’ before he lowers and starts scooting under with him.

He barely fits, just like last time, and grimaces as he notices the dust sticking to his shirt. His head
bangs off the wooden support beams, and he curses again before he comes to lay next to him.

“Nice, been a while since we…”

“Ican’tbreathe.” He says the statement all combined and in between his sharp and quick inhales
that are making the walls of his lungs burn.

But he can’t breathe.

He really can’t.

Usually, by now, a potion would have worked, or his body would naturally start to calm down, but
this time, after what he did, it isn’t.

It won’t stop trying to destroy itself.

Maybe he should let it.

Maybe Draco’s charms keeping him from killing himself wouldn’t stop his body from doing it
without his consent.

It’s not like he was taking a wand to his own chest.

“Here.” Draco holds out another potion in the small space between his face and the bottom of the
bed.

“Ialready…” gasp. “Tooksome…” gasp. “Nothelping.”

“Well fuck, I don’t think the way I help Granger will work for you.”

Theo chokes on his breath as he laughs at the insinuation. Feeling a bit more than the panic
consuming him for a second.

“Take it. Maybe you need one more.”

He doesn’t argue as he grabs the vial and downs the contents. Focusing on the letters carved above
them. Draco's hand comes up into his line of sight and traces the HJG letters Hermione carved a
while ago.

“When did she…”

“The last time I was under here. When I was losing my shit about your desire to kill my fath…”

His body starts to shake again as the word, and all the fears associated with it, overwhelm him.

Draco lays there next to him as Theo works and works to control his breathing again. To get back
to a place where he can concentrate on the present.

He counts his breaths. Counting up to 1,047 before Draco adjusts and turns his head to look at him.

“Are you okay?”

The question makes Theo burst out in laughter again. Was he okay? What a stupid thing to ask. His
worst fear had come to fruition, and Draco was asking him if he was okay?

His brother lets out an irritated huff. “Okay fine. I won’t pussy foot around it if you are going to be
a git. You are not your father, Theo. And you never will be.”

Theo stops laughing immediately.

Like father, like son.

Like father, like son.

“How do you know? I could be. I have been.”

He remembers the feel of Hermione’s body against his fists and his feet. The smell of iron
invading his lungs due to the amount of blood covering her and him. Because of him. Because he
could be like his father. The ability was there. What else could be? What else would possibly
surface within this new reality he had mistakenly created?

“Draco, I have never been more scared in my entire life. I, I can’t do this.”

“You can, Theo.”

“No, I can’t! I can’t be a father!” He yells the words into existence.

Father.

Father.

He was going to be a father.

Because the diagnostic charm he ran on Ginevra, who had been complaining of an upset stomach,
showed more than either of them ever expected.

A heartbeat.

A baby.

His baby.

Their baby.

The two of them stared and watched as the chart continued to move, and listened to the
unmistakable sound.

BUMBUM

BUMBUM

BUMBUM

He doesn’t remember much after that. With every beat, his own began to increase. To take over.
To be all-encompassing as the nightmare became reality.

He remembers seeing a tear fall from Ginevra’s eye. He remembers her saying something about
one of them casting the charm wrong last month when they were drunk and fucked by the pond.
He remembers his vision beginning to go as her hand went up to rest on her stomach.

And then, he ran.

He crawled under the bed, and he hadn’t left since.

Theo didn’t want to hurt anything. But somehow, he knows he will. How couldn’t he? With his
only example being the abusive man locked within Azkaban slowly losing his mind?

He had decided long ago that the Nott lineage would end with him. Having children was never
something he ever imagined in his head. He had no desire. Because a child deserved more than he
ever could be.

He would hurt it.

He would break it.

He would make its life miserable.

Because that’s what fathers do.

Draco sighs. “You have done many things that you thought you would never be able to do, Theo. I
have seen it firsthand. Being a father will not be a fork.”

“This is a life we are talking about! A person! This isn’t some attempt to drink, or be in a public
area, Draco. I am going to hurt it. I am… I am too fucked up to ever be a father.”

He already feels guilty. For what his child would have to endure due to being his. It is different
from Ginevra. She had a choice, she had chosen to be with him and his brokenness, but this child
didn’t. It was innocent. It wasn’t given a choice.

It would be stuck with him. Just like he was stuck with his own father.

“No, you are not. Theo… fuck mate, out of all of us, you will undoubtedly make the best parent.
You won’t hurt it. You will do what you always do.”

“What’s that, Draco? Hide? Cower? Make a mistake that pushes people away from me?”

“No. You will take care of it. Like you do for all of us. Like you have been doing our whole
friendship.” Draco raises his hand again and traces their names, moving over to the dragon that
looks more like a horse. Theo sees his mouth crook. "Remember when we carved all of these?"

How could he forget? It was right after the first time Draco witnessed his father's brutality. When
Lucius left Draco behind as he ran to the Ministry to deal with some situation.

His father was not supposed to be home for a while, but he had shown up early. Draco was in the
kitchen, trying to open the fridge. Theo was walking out of the loo when his father decided to beat
the shit out of him for a few minutes on his way to the office.

It wasn't a horrible beating. Not one that would have been memorable if it hadn't been for the sight
of Draco staring wide-eyed through the slightly open door of the kitchen as his father walked
away.
The look on his friend's face was what he remembered.

The feeling of embarrassment that made him run as quickly as he could with his throbbing side and
face, he couldn't forget.

He expected Draco to leave. To never speak to him again. To stop being his friend. Who would
want to be around him anyway? After learning he was nothing, even to his own father.

He had crawled under his bed and fought against the tears. Not because of the pain, but because of
how alone he felt once again.

At the loss of a friend.

Of his only friend.

He was so consumed in his own head that he almost didn't hear the hinges of the door squeaking
open or the footsteps traveling into his room.

"Theo?"

"Under here."

The small blonde pulled back the blanket, and without question, crawled underneath with him.

Theo watched in utter shock as Draco lay beside him and grimaced at what he was sure was a nasty
bruise on Theo's left cheek.

"Why are you here?" He found himself asking before he could stop.

"Hiding with you." Draco shrugged. "I don't have to hide from my dad. He doesn't see me even if I
am right in front of him."

"I wish my dad didn't see me." Theo said as he tore the corner of his shirt to try to collect the blood
coming from the cut on his cheek.

He heard a ripping noise to his left and looked over to see Draco offering him a larger piece of his
own shirt.

"Thanks."

Draco nodded and turned his head to the bottom frame of the bed. Neither of them talked for a
while until Draco pulled out a knife from his pocket. Making Theo automatically panic.

"What the… why do you have a knife?!"

Draco twirled it once in his hand. "Why don't you? If I lived with that monster, I would have a
knife on me at all times. Or a wand. I think the Ministry would look the other way if you used
magic in self-defense."

He tried to hand him the weapon, but Theo scooted back away from the object he knew firsthand
could cause so much damage.

Draco gave him a confused look before shrugging his shoulders and flipping the sharp knife
between his fingers in a way that made Theo's body jerk with every twist.

"What is your middle name?" The scary blonde asked out of nowhere.
"Atlas. Why?"

Instead of answering, Draco raised the knife and started scraping into the wooden beam above their
heads. First, he made the letters DLM and then, TAN.

Theo took in the initials and let out a laugh that hurt his jaw, so he stopped. "At least your father
made his name your middle. Mine took my first. Wish I had a cool first name like yours."

Draco laughed and started scraping the knife against the wood again. Theo couldn't tell what he
was making. "Yeah, Theodore is a shitty first name. Not as bad as my other friend. His parents
gave him Blaise. Think of living with everyone calling you that. My name means dragon."

"So fucking cool…"

Draco nodded and smirked in agreement as he tried to make a pair of wings that looked more like a
mane. He pulled back, and Theo could tell he was trying to draw his namesake but had fucked up
horribly. Apparently, his knife skills did not transfer into art.

"That looks like a horse, mate."

Draco's smirk fell. "What? No, it doesn't. That is a damn good dragon."

"Horse."

"Dragon."

"Fine, it's a thestral! Happy?"

Draco looked even more confused. "What is a thestral?"

"Those creatures that look like a horse, but they also have wings. You know. The ones that pull the
carriages to Hogwarts."

"What are you talking about?"

Theo was just about to say something sarcastic when he remembered that blonde, loony,
Ravenclaw girl stating that only those who have seen death could see the beasts. Draco apparently
hadn't witnessed death yet.

"Nothing. Nevermind. It can be a dragon. But I…"

The sudden sound of footsteps made his body tense. He listened for a few seconds. They were
clipped, and hard, and fast.

Not good not good not good.

He is still mad. And Draco is here. And he is my friend, I think. And I can't let him hurt my friend.

Theo turned and put his finger up against his lips to show Draco not to say a word. He started
scooting back to climb out from under the bed when Draco’s hand shot out and stopped him. He
looked back as the blonde shook his head.
"Stay," Theo whispered. "He won't find you if he finds me first."

He yanked his arm out of his hold and crawled out as quickly as possible. The steps were getting
closer. Theo braced his body for what was coming. For what had happened so many times before.
For once, secretly hoping his father would take him to the left room so his friend wouldn't have to
see it.

He was just about to run out of his room and meet his father in the hallway when he heard
someone else's voice travel up to his room.

He let out the breath he was holding and fell to the floor as the steps stopped, and Lucius' voice
addressed his father.

"Draco! It is time to go!"

He heard Draco climbing out behind him and watched as he opened the door.

Lucius gave Theo a second glance before blinking and looking at his son.

"Let's go."

"Can Theo come over?" Draco asked as he helped him off the ground and began to walk behind
their parents.

"No." Came the voice of his father.

Theo kept his eyes on the floor.

Draco didn't say another word until they were in the main foyer, and his father bid them farewell
and walked down the hallway.

Theo gave a tentative wave and started walking away himself. Trying to think of another place to
hide from his father, but Draco grabbed his arm before he could move.

"Father, he hits him. Look. I saw it. I saw him do it. Can you please ask him if he can come over
again? We can't let him…"

"This is a private family matter, Draco. It does not concern you nor I."

"No father, listen to me. He beats…"

"Enough!" Lucius yanked Draco away from him and grabbed a handful of floo powder.

Draco wasn't able to say another word before he was whisked away.

Theo watches as Draco’s hand currently traces over the supposed wings. They are now burnt into
the wood. Theo had used his wand and traced over them to ensure their permanence. When he hid
from his father, they always brought him comfort.

"It really does look like a horse, doesn't it?" Theo smiles and nods his head as Draco lowers his
hand. "You tried to protect me that day."

"You did too," Theo responds. Even though his father wouldn't allow him to leave, Draco tried.

His brother scoffs. "I wanted to kill the fucker. Even back then. Trust me Theo, that was my main
concern. But yours was protection. Your first instinct was to take care, not to hurt." Draco reaches
over and, after a moment of hesitation, squeezes Theo's arm. A very unlike Draco thing to do, but
the contact feels like an answer to him for some reason. "You took what he broke and made
yourself better than your breaker. And you will do that as a father. You will show that bastard he
didn't win with how great of a father you will be."

"How?"

Draco sighs and releases his arm. "Fuck if I know. But we will figure it out, together, like we
always do. You will not be alone in this. You have me, Granger, and Red to help."

Gingersnap.

Shit. I have been in here losing my mind, and completely forgetting about her.

She was the one who had a baby in her. Not him. If anyone should be consoling anyone, it should
be him to her. Theo looks back to the door as his panic starts to rise again. Draco must read where
his mind has gone as he stops him from getting out.

"Granger!"

Her last name is not even wholly screamed before the door opens, and two sets of feet scurry into
the room quickly.

Theo and Draco are trying to get out, but the two women trap them in by dropping to the floor and
crawling under.

Theo meets Ginevra’s eyes. Her face is red and splotchy from crying, and her chest is starting to
rash. And he hadn't been there for her.

"Ginevra, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did this to you. I can't believe I…" He pulls her into his side
as best he can in the small space and means to wrap her in his arms, but the Gingersnap grabs the
sides of his face and presses a kiss to his lips instead. Cutting off his words and his mind in a way
that only her touch can.

She moves just enough to keep their lips touching but gives her the ability to speak. "Stop
apologizing. We did this together. You didn't do this to me. And I am not upset, Theo. I am just
worried about you."

Theo's eyes widen, and he pulls back further to take her in. "Wait, you're not upset?"

She smiles and pushes his hair to the side as she shakes her head. "About the baby? No, not really.
My mum has always made it quite clear that it was bound to happen if I was shagging." She pecks
his lips again and rubs her thumb back and forth. Her other hand grabs his to rest it on her belly.
"Plus, it's with you. We are having a baby together, Theo. What is there to be upset about?"

She isn't upset. She isn't losing her shit. Ginevra is calm and means every word she is saying to
him. He knows it. He can tell. He knows his wicked witch by heart now, and it is obvious the
woman is more worried about him than the life inside her.

"You… You aren't terrified?"

She shrugs and turns her gaze to all the carvings under the bed. "Not really. My parents had seven
of them. And our house was always filled with my younger cousins and other family members.
How hard can it be? You feed them, bathe them, play with them. We made it through a war; I think
we can do this. But more importantly, why the fuck are all of your names carved and not mine?!"

She huffs in frustration and shoots them all a glare as she pulls out her wand and aims it at the
beam.

Theo watches as she carves GMN into the wood. Right below his own name.

Ginevra Molly Nott.

Because she is his wife.

She married him.

She took his last name, and proudly too.

Fuck, does he love her.

"There, that's better. What the bloody hell is that supposed to be?" She points to Draco's carving,
and Theo laughs while he sneers.

"What do you mean? It’s a dragon."

Ginevra hisses and shakes her head. "Looks like a horse."

Theo laughs harder and wraps his hand in hers. Marveling in the pride that she was his.

"Bitch."

"Prick."

"Are you okay, Theo?"

He looks over to see Hermione resting her head on Draco's chest from his other side, so she can see
Theo.

"I, I don't know. I never wanted to be a father. I never thought I could be what it would need
after…"

He swallows loudly and averts his eyes. They all knew what he was thinking and battling with.
They knew his story.

Theo feels pressure against his nose and sees her finger press down against it before moving back
to rest on Draco.

"You will be a spectacular father, Theo."

Draco shakes his head in agreement, and Ginevra squeezes his hand. He turns his head to look back
at her. She is smiling and nodding as well as her eyes begin to water. She retakes their hands. The
two joined long ago by another action of his, and places them back on her stomach.
"We are having a baby." She whispers at him with her smile growing.

Because she is happy.

She is happy.

And it seems Draco and Hermione are happy too.

Yes, he can feel that all of them are worried as well. It was scary, the thought of another person
joining them soon.

But he can see the excitement in her eyes, and fuck, if it doesn't make the panic in him calm.

Giving him the ability to focus on her joy.

"We are having a baby." He repeats back to her. Letting the words sink in.

It is a we.

Like she said.

He isn't alone in this.

He has her.

And Draco.

And Hermione.

They all take care of each other. That was their deal. And he knows that promise will be extended
to the heartbeat underneath his hand.

He blinks and feels the warmth of a tear fall down his cheek as he gives his exceptional witch a
half-smile and leans in to kiss her again.

"I love you, Theo."

"I love you too, Ginevra."

The sound of Hermione cheering and clapping breaks them apart.

"So can we celebrate now?! Where will you put the nursery? What colors do you think we need to
buy? I think you should make Theo's attached office into…"

Draco yanks playfully on one of her curls to get her to stop.

"Granger, calm down. Give the bloke a minute. And let's get off the damn ground."

The couple moves out from under the bed. Draco bashes his head again, but Hermione rubs at the
spot to console him as they rise.

Theo is about to follow, but Ginevra pulls him back. She searches his face for a while, and he tries
to show her that he is okay. That yes, he is still terrified, but the fact that he wouldn't be alone in
this made him feel stronger. More capable.

To show her, he looks down at her stomach and rubs against the surface.
"We will do this together?"

She nods her head. "Of course."

"Promise?"

Ginevra giggles and brings her hand above them, holding out the piece of him. He smiles and
wraps the only one he has left around hers.

"Pinky promise," she says.

He breathes out easier and follows her from under the bed. They stand, and she dusts off the back
of his clothes with her hand. She doesn't look different. Of course she doesn't. Not yet. Theo didn't
know much about pregnancies, only the basics his healing books and the healing program had
taught him. But he did know it would take a while for the changes to start showing.

Ginevra catches him staring for too long and waves in front of him to break his gaze.

"I am going to switch my focus at work to magical pregnancies. I need to buy more books on the
subject as well. My library doesn't go deep into that area. And maybe Draco will help me create a
better contraceptive charm. One that lights up to let the person know whether it fucking works or
not. And then…."

Ginevra laughs and lets him go on as his mind takes off. She pulls him down the hallway and into
the kitchen, where Draco is helping Hermione make a batch of burnt chocolate.

Yes, she gave him the recipe for the concoction months ago.

And yes, Theo had tried to make the drink 133 times using the recipe.

But every damn one of them didn't taste like hers.

Somehow.

The evil witch must have left something out of the recipe. Just to drive him insane. He knows it.

So, she was once again in charge of making the drink until he finally figured it out. Even though
every time he threw another batch out the window and screamed in frustration, she assured him the
recipe was exactly what she did.

Liar.

He is still naming all the books he needs to purchase as Hermione hands him his bowl mug.

She raises her own at him, and Ginevra and Draco follow, with Theo raising his last.

"Congratulations, Theo and Ginny!" She turns and rests her hand on Ginevra's belly. "And
welcome to the family, little Nott. We all already love you so much."

They clink their mugs and down their drinks in unison. Ginevra laughs again as she swipes her
thumb over his burnt chocolate mustache. "Merlin, I hope it is a boy. I won't know what to do with
a little girl."
Hermione bounces and smiles. "A little boy would be so fun, but we would be outnumbered then
Gin. Do you have any names?"

Draco grunts and takes a sip. "They just found out they are pregnant. I doubt they have names."

Ginevra leans against the counter and places her mug in the sink. "If it is a girl, I have no clue. But
if it is a boy, his name could be…"

"BLAISE!" The name shoots out of Theo with a force that takes his breath away. Like it had to be
said in response to what she was saying, or his body would explode.

What the… where did that…

His thoughts are cut off as the image of a gambling night years ago starts to play in his mind.

Of a game.

Of truth or dare.

Of a vow.

Of a vow with a specific stipulation given by Theo's now least favorite human being in the world.

"Oh no…" he hears Hermione say as his body grows cold with the realization.

"What? What is wrong? Teddy is just joking. There is no way we are naming our baby Blaise."

The room is silent for a moment before Draco doubles over and starts laughing in a way Theo has
not heard him laugh in a very long time. Hermione tries to hold in her amusement but loses the
fight as her chest starts to shake, and she covers her face as she gives up control.

But Theo is not amused.

Not one fucking bit.

He made that stupid Unbreakable Vow with Blaise because he never pictured it actually being a
problem.

But now it is.

And there is no way he is naming his child after that bastard.

Ginevra is looking at them all with confusion. "Okay, can someone tell me what is so fucking
funny?!"

Draco points towards Theo as he struggles to breathe. "Nott, you better tell her."

Theo instead fills his mouth with another large gulp of burnt chocolate. This wasn't going to be an
actual problem.

No way.

He would fix this.

 Maybe they are going to have a girl, and they wouldn't even have to deal with it.

And if it is a boy… well, maybe Theo needs to change his focus at work to trying to find a way out
of Unbreakable Vows.

Because if there is one thing Theo is sure of, it is that his child will not be named Blaise Nott.

Chapter End Notes

TW!! - Eating disorders inferred. Depictions of panic attacks. Talk of self-harm.

 Epilogue: 3
Chapter Notes

Two more to go.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Hermione

Three months later

The smell of clean, brand new parchment fills her senses as the book is placed on her desk. The
leather cover with its perfect engravings in gold and black and spine that has never been truly tested
feels good underneath her fingers.

Her team members stand around her desk and wait with excitement.

This was a long time coming.

Yet, this is still only the beginning…

A thought reinforced by the etching of the number one into the leather she keeps rubbing back and
forth. Holding exactly 817 pages of information on the Second Wizarding War.

817 pages filled with the most accurate information possible.

The list of references after references that take up 23 of those pages proves the accuracy.

They had been working on this first installment for months. And now, here it sits. In front of her.
Physical proof of everything she was trying and beginning to accomplish.

Hermione always loved books and the words that they held. Whether the words fit together into a
story for knowledge, power, change, or for pure enjoyment, they each had their place.

And now, here she was, leaving a lasting impression on society with her words.

With her story, and so many others.

With the hopes that the same mistakes, the same pains, would not be felt by others in the future.

“Uhm… Hermione, are you okay?”

She blinks and looks up at the people still waiting. She crooks a smile of embarrassment before she
finally pulls the hardback cover and follows the direction of the sewing work to allow the spine to
rest to the side as it was intended.

Lasting.

Affective.

Hope.

“I’m first!”

A hand with a quill shoots out to the cover page and quickly writes. Four other hands follow and
leave their names all over the front of the title page of the first copy of the book that was being
printed and sent to every wizarding book store, school, and other place of education that existed.

Minerva had already ensured its addition to the curriculum, and they would continue with each new
installment that dove deep into the intricacies of the last war.

“Waiting on you.”

Hermione reaches out, takes the quill, and scrawls her name underneath the main title. As soon as
she makes the last swoosh of the tip against the page, her office erupts with cheers, flashes, and
claps.

Usually, Hermione would never agree to write in an actual book. Especially one of such value. But
she was outvoted by her team and begrudgingly gone along with the idea to sign their names in the
first printed copy that was handed to her by the company only minutes ago. But now, as she looks
down at all their names, she thinks this wasn’t such a bad idea. It made it more personal. More
meaningful to see the names of each of them within the compilation of research they had dedicated
most of their time to form into existence.

She picks up the book and walks over to her bookcase. The cameras flash again as she adjusts the
large tome at an angle to display the cover and the work. Not sinking it back in between other
books to hide everything but the spine. No. This one will sit proudly on display as it should.

“Ms. Granger, how does it feel to have your first book published?”

“It is not my book. It is a collection of many stories, factual evidence, memorials, and lessons
learned the hard way to hopefully ensure that we as a society continue to move forward instead of
backward. To show that prejudice, and some of the other beliefs we have ingrained as normal
within our culture, are not only hurtful but detrimental to our society's progression.”

“Are we talking about your book or your relationship with Mr. Malfoy?”

She rolls her eyes but keeps them toward the bookcase. “My relationship with Draco Malfoy is not
to further a cause or some political decision to advance certain beliefs. I love him. Everything else
we accomplish within that connection is only additional, not foundational.”

Her eyes move to her desk, where her red Gryffindor mug sits with his note from this morning still
attached.

A note that states she needs to meet him at Theo’s lab after work. Her eyes move to the clock and
see she has already used her extra hour to the 60-hour-a-week rule given and agreed upon due to it
being release week.
“That is all the questions I will be answering today.”

“Wait! Just one more! When is the proposed release date for the next edition to the series?”

Hermione walks behind her desk and starts placing everything where it belongs as she readies to
leave.

“Mapping suspects for three editions in total. Quality and accuracy are the main focus, more than
releasing quickly. Also, we as a team will be moving slower through the rest of the archival
series.”

The photographer's magical quills scribble as they continue to take shots of her and her team in her
office. She smiles as each member is handed their own copy and holds it to their chest in a way she
understands.

It was world-changing information, if society let it be. If they opened the pages and learned what
made this war happen, what the war looked like from both sides, and how it truly ended.

Book one focuses heavily on the first war and what small and large societal structures helped lead
to these power systems to start. The next edition will focus on the actual war itself. She would be
taking a step back with that book and allowing her co-workers to handle the personal stories. Since
her own was so deeply involved within it. She would be focusing on fact-checking and also
advocating.

The consistent pressure she and others would continuously need to enact to show people the truth.

Hermione pulls the note off of her mug and opens her drawer, which is filled with small pieces of
parchment and the same handwriting. Where the a’s and the i’s connect with the letter next to
them. She places the note on top of the rest, pressing the pile down to ensure none get stuck as she
shuts her drawer and places her mug carefully in her bag. The photographers have moved on to
talking to the rest of her co-workers. All of them are much more excited about the attention.

She nods her head and walks out, leaving them to enjoy a spotlight she has no desire to stay in for
longer than necessary.

Let the words speak for themselves. Let the words be remembered more than me.

She walks to the office’s floo system and yells Theo’s lab into the smoke. Only a few people were
granted access to his laboratory, but she was one of them.

She steps out of the green flames and dusts herself off as she sees Theo bending over a set of three
cauldrons.

His thick brown hair is larger than normal as the steam from the potions he is brewing adds
moisture to his hair.

Hermione is not surprised to see Ginny sitting on top of the large apothecary table behind him,
swinging her legs back and forth as she munches on what Hermione is sure to be either a bag of
crisps or a packet of those disgustingly sweet biscuits she was recently obsessed with. Her two
cravings since she became pregnant. And the only two items she seemed to be able to keep down.
“Look at you! On time again! And even on release day.” Ginny exclaims.

Theo looks up and wipes the perspiration from his forehead, trying to move around the steam in
front of him to see her. “Good, you are here. How was the press?”

“Trying to talk more about our relationship rather than the work, so normal. How was the
orphanage?”

“Housing facility," Theo corrects. "You know Draco will lose his shit if he hears you calling it that
again.”

She rolls her eyes and walks over to Ginny, hoisting herself onto the table next to her. Ginny
pushes another biscuit into her mouth as Theo groans at Hermione taking up more of his
workspace with her arse.

“Semantics. But how was it? Is he still there?”

Theo nods and carefully pushes his work further away from the two women and then reaches to
swipe at the crumbs on Ginny’s shirt. His hand rests on her lower abdomen for a moment and rubs
it before moving back.

They both swear she is starting to show. But Hermione still can’t see it. At least not with clothes
on.

“Yeah, he is still there. But it went terribly as I knew it would. Kids hate me.”

Ginny scoffs and swallows loudly. “They did not hate you guys. You are strangers, that is all. If
you go with Malfoy more often, they will warm up to you.”

Theo makes a stack of books, all dealing with magical pregnancies and birth, next to the materials
she knows he plans to take home. “I don’t want them warming up to me. I was only there for one
hour, and already a few of them had tried to climb all over me and touch me. Their hands were
sticky, Ginevra! With Merlin knows what.”

Hermione and Ginny laugh at him.

“It’s different when it is your own kid. At least that is what my mum says.” Ginny shrugs.

“Ours won’t like me either.”

“Yes, he will.”

“Stop calling it a… he. We don’t know what it is yet.”

Ginny rubs her stomach. “I have a feeling.”

Theo groans and lets his head fall into his hands. “You better hope you are wrong because I still
haven’t found a way out of that damn vow yet. And Blaise refuses to help in any way.”

An alarm goes off as Hermione moves to grab one of Ginny’s biscuits, and Theo waves his wand
to unlock his lab. The door opens, and Ron steps in, faltering a bit when he makes eye contact with
her.

“Hi.” She waves.

“Uh, hey. Sorry, Theo told me now would be a good time and…”
“It’s fine, Ron. How was the honeymoon?”

His body visibly relaxes at her question, and he steps further into Theo’s lab and shuts the door
behind him.

“It was good. The paparazzi didn’t find us once, so thanks again for that wedding present.”

Hermione nods and smiles. She knew it would work. She, Ginny, and Theo had all been spinning
lies and leaving well-believed paper trails of where the dubbed Weasley Warrior and his new bride
would be heading for their honeymoon. All locations Ron and Padma would be nowhere near as
they hid and enjoyed their new marriage in a quiet resort away from it all.

“Did you make mum more grandbabies like she requested?”

Ron shakes his head and moves to help hold a vial for Theo as he carefully pours in the new
potion.

“Blimey, no. As I have told her before, she will not be getting any of those from us.”

This time, Theo scoffs as he hands Ron the cork. “Yeah, then you better use the new contraceptive
charm Draco and I created. Or next time, you may end up with a witch throwing up every other
hour, and always hot even with a bloody cooling charm over her whole body, and the bedroom
window open even when it is snowing, and only eating teeth rotting shit to keep her fro...”

A biscuit smashes into the back of his head to make him stop talking.

“I am a delight pregnant! Take it back, Teddy!”

She throws another biscuit, and he catches it and gives her a half-smile before placing it in his
mouth.

“Hey! That was my last one!”

“Then you shouldn’t have thrown it at me.”

She visibly pouts down at the empty box before Theo laughs and points over to a cabinet.

“Third drawer down.”

She looks at him confused for a moment before walking over and opening the drawer to release a
squeal as she pulls out a brand new box of the same biscuits and two bags of crisps.

Theo smiles. “The cupboard to the joke shop is also stalked, but I thought I would be prepared
since you’ve been spending more time here than at work.”

Ginny climbs back up onto the table and hands Hermione the extra bag of crisps as she combines a
crisp with a biscuit into her mouth. They all grimace as she moans in delight.

“George makes me leave early, says my pregnancy glow and demeanor is bad for business. Are
you going to help out more now that you and Padma are back?”

Ron nods as he picks up a box from underneath the table, and Theo starts placing the potion vials
within. “Yeah, at least for now. We are looking at a house in Austria. To hopefully give us more
privacy.”

“If you need help setting up wards again, let us know. Ours still hold against their onslaught of
attempts." Theo says as he takes the box from Ron and places it on top of the other three waiting
for one of the healers to come to re-supply St. Mungo's.

“I’ll let you know, thanks though. I actually came by to grab another dose of the addiction potion.”

Theo’s eyes widen as he leans back in between Ginevra’s legs, and she pushes another biscuit into
his mouth. He pulls out his notebook from his healer robe’s inner pocket. He flips the pages that
calculate and keep records of his friends and family, which are the inspiration for many of his
successes and innovations.

“Shit mate, you just ran out? It has been over four months since I gave you the last one.” He accios
a quill and writes something down quickly before he moves over to his shelf of already prepared
potions and other healing supplies. “You should be really proud of yourself. That is a long time to
go without using it. Longer than I have gone.”

He tosses the potion, and Ron catches it as he quirks his mouth to the side. It was the first potion
Theo had created that made it clear to both his instructors and healing facilities around the
Wizarding World that Theo Nott would be a name recognized in the magical healing realm.

After hearing about Ron’s relapse after Draco’s trial and then subsequent relapses that continued
over the next couple of months, Theo had the idea of creating a potion to help with withdrawal
symptoms.

And as he continued to be around Ron due to his relationship with Ginny, the two had become
amicable.

Hermione still kept the divide between them. Out of respect for Draco and out of recognition that it
was better for the both of them. To have space.

We are better off this way.

Ron rubs the back of his neck as he sticks the potion in his pocket. “Thanks. It is getting easier.”

Theo pulls out his notebook again and writes quickly after Ron speaks.

“Okay, good. Please continue to keep me updated. I can’t use myself in my studies.”

On cue, Theo pulls out the pack from his front pocket, pulls out a stick, and places it in between his
lips.

This one he chews on. Swirling his tongue around in measurements of five sets of three before
flicking it up and down twice before continuing the pattern again.

His chosen substitute for the vice he decided to give up due to Ginny’s pregnancy and all the
health risks he read about constantly.

The wooden picks seem to help with his need to have something in his mouth to play with.

“How did release day go, ‘Mione?”

She smiles back at Ron’s question. “Good. There were no questions about the credibility. So thank
you for your vocal support.”
“Always. How… How have you been feeling lately? Getting easier too?”

She tries to keep her face from falling or showing anything. She doesn’t trust herself to speak, so
she nods her head weakly and averts her eyes at his question. Some areas of her life were becoming
easier.

Her work.

Her relationship with Draco.

Her physical appearance.

On the outside, it was easy to notice the small victories and focus on them, but as Theo’s little
notebook would agree, her mind was another story. It was declining. Switches were beginning to
happen without any triggers or warnings, and instead of it being an abrupt switch, it was more of a
slow fade that would take up her existence for long periods of time.

It was Dark Magic. They all knew it. Only Dark Magic left remnants that eroded and continued to
rot. They tried to do a similar experiment they had done for Draco when he was battling the effects
of using his curse on the prisoners. However, they found the ritual did not work the same because
the magic remains came from another rather than herself.

They hadn’t tried in a few months. The last attempt had made her curl up on the floor with the
window blinds pulled shut and her head stuffed under a pillow to decrease the constant ache.

Theo had been distraught.

There is nothing else I can remove from my life to make it less stressful unless I stop living for what
matters altogether.

And I am not willing to give that up.

Not after just now getting my life back.

Ron seems about to continue when the door opens, and all of them turn to see Draco walking in.
His eyes automatically lock on Ron in the corner, and Hermione can see his hands flex before he
walks over to her.

The air in the room changes quickly to a layer of awkwardness that Ron begins to step out of.
“Alright, well, Pads is waiting on me, but thanks again, Theo. See you two at mum and dad’s next
week.”

Ginny waves around Theo as he tilts his head. Draco keeps his eyes on Ron, never turning his back
from him until the door shuts.

He lets out a deep breath and mumbles something that Hermione only hears, ‘I should have…’
before his words are incoherent, and he turns to face her.

“He was only here to grab another potion. Nothing more.” Draco nods as she speaks and moves
into her space, releasing his cool minty breath around her. “Glad you’re alive, Draco.”

She kisses him and threads her fingers into his hair as he huffs in amusement into her mouth before
pulling away.

“Barely.”

Theo scoffs. “Yeah okay, it went so horribly that Minerva demanded you be her top advisor for the
orphan…”

“Housing facility.” Draco interrupts.

“Fine. Housing facility and school because you barely make it through your days there.”

“She only asked to further both her and Granger's societal agenda of making me something I am
not.”

“And what is that?”

He smirks. “A hero.”

She smiles and opens her legs to allow him to walk in between them as she places her arms on his
shoulders. “You are my hero.”

He lets out a breath, and the corner of his mouth rises. “That’s all that matters.”

He kisses her on the forehead and turns to Theo. “Did you tell her?”

“Tell me what?” She asks and sees Theo move over to the other table in the room set up in the way
he used to research back in Hogwarts.

“No, I thought I’d wait for you. Come over here.”

Draco grabs her sides and sets her down on the ground. He snatches one of Ginny’s biscuits to
receive a solid kick to the arse before they all come around Theo.

Hermione sees her notebook full of her research on horcruxes and Dark Magic they had used for
Draco’s ritual. She also notices the old tomes Theo must have received access from Minerva to
take out of the new school’s library. But what is most interesting is the sheet of runes and notes
and the small cauldron simmering a grotesque green on the table.

The handwriting she has known for years.

“What have you two been working on?”

Theo runs his hands through his hair. “So fucking much. But this has been our main concern
for…” He meets her eyes for a moment and looks apologetic. “…Obvious reasons.”

“I am okay most of the time. They don’t happen out of nowhere anymore.” She states defensively
as they all watch her.

“I know. I know that. And I think you relaxing more has helped, but… But it is changing, which is
worrisome. Instead of intense quickness, it now infects slowly. Taking over hours, even a whole
day recently.”

Hermione stares down at her hands, not wanting to look at any of them. At the memory of the day
two weeks ago when she woke up feeling half present. A sensation she thought would go away
until the other her, and all the darkness she brought, continued to grow and grow. Hermione knew
it wasn’t real. She recognized that her mind was playing tricks on her, but it still didn’t change her
body's reaction. The instant fear and emotional exhaustion plagued her entire being and left her
immobile until she woke up the next day, feeling better yet less at the same time.

“We think we have it this time,” Theo says as he looks over her shoulder, and his face falls
slightly. “But… only if you want to.”

Draco’s cool hand begins to rub her upper forearm and squeeze lightly.

The last time was horrible. The last experiment almost... They didn’t like to talk about it.

She moves her concentration back to the notes and starts taking them in. Reading what they had
changed from their original ritual, what they have added, and why they believed it would work.

“It’ll take at least six months to brew. Maybe longer.” Theo holds out the potion ingredients. “I
think we have been viewing the roots of the issue wrong. This is similar, yet different from what
Draco had within him. What is affecting you is causation, not primary. You did not wield the Dark
Magic. It was wielded upon you. I think…” Theo pauses and looks over to a list of patients he has
next to the instructions. Hermione recognizes a couple of the top names on the list. “…I think if
this helps you, it could help a lot of people still suffering from the wars.”

Like the people on his three page list.

Like Neville’s parents.

“But, it is risky, Hermione. And after last time, I can’t guarantee that it won’t possibly hurt…”

“I’ll do it.”

They all look up at her.

“Are you sure?” The cool hand on her arm pulls her to look at him.

He is worried. She can see it. But after the last experiment, they had talked about this. About what
her options really were. What choices they have to decide between.

Draco was beside himself, with once again both options being less than formidable. He didn’t want
to see her in pain.

Suffering.

Lost.

Broken.

None of them did.

And if they didn't try to understand and stop what was happening in her splintered mind, it was
looking like she would continue to deteriorate.

They needed to do this. If they did this right, it could help so many people, including herself. They
would possibly be able to combat the lasting effects of Dark Magic in other areas too. They may be
able to fight against the Imperius Curse, heal the nerve damage from the Cruciatus, and so much
more.

It was easy to recognize when an idea could be a turning point. And this was one of them.

So she looks up and rests her hand on Draco's before squeezing. “I’m sure.”

Draco

Two months later

He registers her lips on his neck as soon as he wakes up. For a moment, he lays completely still,
waiting to see if this was a dream or reality. A hand tapping against his chest in the pattern he
knows by heart alerts him to what this is.

REAL

REAL

REAL

She hasn’t switched. She isn’t the other her. It is Granger. His Granger, pressing her soft and warm
body on top of him and moving her lips with learned precision on all the spots of his skin that
make him shake in pleasure.

Fuck, that’s my girl.

Keep touching me…

She licks up his jaw, and he tilts his head to give her what she wants. As he adjusts his body to
allow her to explore everything, he feels the difference under him and remembers.

His eyes shoot open, and he grabs her shoulders to separate their bodies as he sits up off the
mattress they are sleeping on.

Because they started sleeping on a bed again.

Well, a mattress really. It was not on any frame, or adorned with a headboard. It was simply a
sheeted mattress directly in the center of their room on the floor.
But it was a win for her.

They both knew that.

They had tried a few times to advance to this step over the past couple of years, but it never lasted
more than a night or two due to some of the worst nightmares and switches he had witnessed her
experience since Theo first found her.

But this last time was different. It would be two whole months of sleeping on a mattress soon. And
while the beginning was hard, the last month has continued to go smoothly. Honestly, she was
sleeping better than he was. Not that he would ever admit that somehow the woman had turned him
into someone preferring the damn floor.

But even though it seemed she won the battle and had shown that it would not be a fork for her,
they hadn’t done anything sexual on a bed.

Ever.

She must have switched.

Even if she is tapping our word, this can’t be real.

“Granger, wake up. You aren’t there, okay? It’s me. It’s…”

Her sleepy giggle cuts him off as she refuses to pull her face from the crook of his neck and
nuzzles deeper into the skin there. His body goosebumps and twitches at the contact.

“I’m here, Draco. This is me, wanting you. Don’t you want me?”

His eyes roll into the back of his head as she pushes him down and climbs farther on top of him.
She pulls away, and he sees her mischievous smile playing across her face as she runs her hands up
and down his bare chest.

“I always want you, but… the bed. We haven’t…”

“I want to change that. Let’s make this ours too.”

She dives down and brings their mouths together. He opens and lets her tongue take over and
explore him. Pulling away, then doing the same to his other skin, going back down to his neck.

She hums when she gets to the inked skin. Placing her lips against all the markings first and then,
moving just the tip of her tongue ever so gently in a pattern.

His mind clouds as his blood continues to travel down to his groin, and his hands start claiming her
flesh. Squeezing in a way that would make her skin flush, showing everywhere his hands have
been.

Mine.
“Theo told…”

“Do not mention Theo while you are naked, Granger.”

She giggles again and pulls his head farther to the side to give her more of a canvas for her mouth.

“Okay… Then what I will say is…” Her tongue starts doing the barely touches against him once
more, and his body visibly reacts. “…I was told you like these numbers. That they mean
something.”

He follows the trail of her tongue and registers the shape she is tracing.

“Yes.”

“Three?” She asks innocently as she circles her hips, pressing down on his growing erection
resting on his stomach.

Fuck me, you witch.

“Many things.” He barely gets out before he moans as she rolls her hips again and then sucks on
the marked flesh of his neck. Right over the number she is asking about.

“Tell me…”

You and your love of words, Granger…

“Your shoes. I saw you wear only three pairs of shoes while at Hogwarts. Sneezes. You always
sneeze in sets of three. Amortentia. The three distinct smells of you that were my potion.”

She breathes into his neck as she dips her tongue out and starts leaving a hot wet trail again on his
neck.

“And six?”

“I combine it with the next.”

He waits and enjoys the electrifying sensation of her licking over the tattoo that was supposed to
condemn him.

“62?”

He smiles. “Freckles.”

“Freckles?”

“You used to have 62 freckles on your right hand. The one you always raised in class. I counted.”

She sits back and rests his dick in between her warm thighs. For some reason, she looks surprised
as she raises her right hand and inspects the back.
“64.”

She looks up. “What?”

He moves his hands from where they are kneeding the soft flesh of her hips up to her hand.

“You have 64 now. Two more than you ever had before.”

He brushes his finger against the skin as his smile grows. A clear representation of her life
becoming more. Of her adding, and growing, and living in a way he always longed to see.

It used to be 62, but now it is 64. And while a difference of two did not seem large to many, to him,
it was everything.

His breath catches in his throat as her fingers mimic what her tongue had done to his neck, tracing
the discolored, jagged lines across his chest and stomach.

“37.”

Now it is his turn to wonder what she is talking about.

He watches her fingers follow the broken and scarred skin of his body. A body that holds so many
reminders, as he knows hers does as well, of what they have been through.

It isn’t pretty.

The scars mangle and interrupt what used to be whole. But for some reason, her eyes show nothing
but adoration as her fingers follow the lines.

“You have 37 scars on your chest.”

She bends down and pecks her lips against the lines, moving from his upper chest, further, and
further, and further down until the light sheet covering them is only hiding the bottom portion of
their legs.

Her lips wrap around his dick, and her tongue traces his tip, sucking in his precum. He lets out a
hiss, raising up and massaging the back of her scalp as he watches himself disappear into her
mouth.

Fuck, you never look better than when my dick is inside you.

As she pushes him down her throat, and he feels her contract against his sensitive skin, while also,
releasing a hum that reverberates up his spine, he fights holding her against him. Against pushing
her face into the light hair and pressing it into his lower stomach. Seeing all of him encased in her.
He tries to focus on his breathing and her eyes locked on him as she starts to bob up and down.

Making sure she is still here with him. To ensure she is doing this because she wants to do this.
Because she loves him, and he loves her. Not because of the memories and all of the conflicting
thoughts colliding and confusing her into thinking this is something she has to do.

“Draco…”
He blinks and looks down as she holds him up with her hand and licks his shaft up and down.

“I’m here. I want to do this. I don’t want you holding back. Please, no walls, let me in.”

He squeezes her hair at the root into his fist and grinds his teeth together.

Because he wants to fuck her. He wants to fuck her so hard and so good that her fire becomes his.
That he pounds into her in a way that shows her how strong she is.

“Please Draco, please show me what I like.”

She stares up at him, making her eyes big and pleading over his dick, and it is one of the most
erotic and sweet things he has ever seen, and he can’t stop himself anymore.

Mine.

He yanks her up his body by her hair, and she yelps in pleasure as he flips them over and presses
his much larger body onto hers.

Her legs wrap around his hips as he smashes their mouths together, and he devours every little
noise she makes as their hands move all over each other.

He pushes his weight down onto her again, to watch her face, to see how her body would respond
to the give of the mattress underneath her. Instead of witnessing her face become the one encased
in fear, he sees her pull her lip into her mouth and crease in pleasure.

That’s my girl. Let me make you forget it all. Let it just be you and me.

This… us…

He slides his hand in between them and lets his finger circle her clit in the way he knows she
prefers. Her back arches, pressing her delicious breasts into his chest as she keens against his touch.
Elevating her hips as much as she can with his weight on top of her, wanting more.

His head falls down next to hers, and he pulls her earlobe into his mouth. Circling his tongue
around the soft flesh at the same speed he is her clit.

“Yes, yes Draco, gods, I love you.”

“You do, don’t you? Look at you; so greedy for my touch. You want more?”

Her head starts shaking next to him, and he sinks his teeth into her earlobe in retaliation.

“No, Granger. We use our words, remember? Tell me, tell me what you want.”

His dick is straining to a painful level, but he will wait. He will wait for her to take the lead in her
own way.
“I want you inside me. Please, Draco. I want you everywhere.”

“Fuck, I love it when you beg for my dick. Eyes open, keep them on me.”

He raises his hip and lines himself up with her opening. His stomach contracts as he runs his shaft
between her center, teasing the area and coating himself in the evidence of just how true her words
to him are.

She wants him.

She loves him.

He is about to fuck her.

He pushes in slowly, watching her face as it strains and stretches.

“You okay?”

He is ready to pull out at any hint that she is switching or isn’t enjoying this. His eyes dart over to
the potions sitting on the mantle that she hasn’t used very often in the last couple of months. Yes,
her switches were still happening, but she explained them as coming on slower, giving her time to
place herself in an environment that was safe for the switch either by hiding away or contacting
him. Unfortunately, Theo needed her to experience most of them without interference for his
records about their progression and give him more accurate numbers for the upcoming experiment.

She huffs up at him, and her hands grab the sides of his face to make him focus back on her. “Stay
with me. Don’t wall me out, okay? You know I will tell you if I’m not. Don’t hold back, please. I
want this.”

Okay then, that is all I need.

“Hold on.”

Her eyes widen for a moment before he pulls back and inserts himself all the way inside her in one
thrust. Her body pushes backward, making the top of her head hang off the edge of the mattress
before he grabs hold of her hips with a bruising grasp and yanks her back down under him. Where
she belongs. Pulling her body down around his dick again until it hits off her inner barriers, and her
mouth falls open in a pleasurable scream. This time, she wraps her legs back around his hips and
crosses her ankles to stay in place.

She clenches her inner warmth around him, and his dick twitches, and his balls tighten.

Not yet… Fuck not yet. This is her battle. Let her win before you. Maybe… make her win twice.

Draco grabs the pillow from behind her head and sinks it under her arse. The new angle has his
body hitting against her center in just the right way with each movement into her. Her nails dig in
the skin of his shoulders as she releases her noises, leaving crescent-shaped indents.
“You like that?”

“I love it.” She pants out with watery eyes open and looking up at him.

“I know you do. Even without that mouth of yours telling me. I can still hear how much your body
loves me inside you.”

The flush he was trying to draw out appears on her chest and cheeks. Her breathing starts to
become more erratic, and he moves his hips deeper, circling them as he presses into her and against
her clit at the same time.

“Come for me, Granger. Come all over my dick. Show it how much you love it. Come on. Come
on…”

He pulls her lower lip into his mouth and sucks on it as her legs begin to shake around him, and her
warmth squeezes him so tight he rips the sheets he is balling into his hands.

“It’s happening… it’s... yes, yes fuck me Draco, yes.”

He does as she asks, pounding into her through her orgasm. Never letting up. Because the witch
was made for him. In every way possible.

She tries to keep her legs wrapped around him, but they slump like dead weight from his back onto
the mattress.

“That… That was intense.” She kisses him deeply, and he smiles into her lips before pulling back
and beginning to move into her again.

“That was just the beginning. Can you be a good girl and give me another one?”

That red flush deepens, and her walls clench in response. Everything about her is warmer than
normal after she orgasms. So hot. Burning.

“I, I don’t know…”

“Come on, Granger. Burn for me.”

He sinks into her further and leaves himself as far as he can go, circling his hips and moving his
mouth to pull one of her perked nipples between his lips. He swirls his tongue and sucks on the
flesh gently. Always gently here. Always remembering never to mark here.

She hums and runs her hands through his hair. “Just for you.”

He pauses and lifts up from her to see her genuine smile at the words she said that do more to him
than many others. And that last wall of decency crumbles at the sight.

“That’s fucking right.”

Draco hooks his arm under her knee, pulls her leg up onto his shoulder, and pushes into her. Her
head keens back and jolts with each thrust, but he doesn’t stop.

Because she is just for him.

Only him.

He thrusts, and thrusts, and thrusts into her. Moving them all over the mattress. Making her head
fall off the side and forcing him to catch them both by placing his free hand onto the floor as he
fucks her hard.

His teeth bite into the flesh of her leg next to his face, and she lets out a loud moan.

“Tell me. Tell me what you know I want to hear.”

He is close. Her body is so hot and responsive, and he feels more alive in this moment than he has
in a long time. Because he has allowed her in. And she is strong enough to be here.

“I love you, Draco. I am yours. Every part of me is yours. I love you, I love you, I…”

“Mine, mine, fuck yes, you are mine.”

He grinds his forehead into hers as he begins to release inside her. She is screaming again, moving
back and forth under him as her entire body shakes as she lets go of her own orgasm. Her body’s
reaction extends his own, and he chokes on the first intake he tries afterward.

“Fuck, Granger.” He pants into her face, coming back down slowly.

“We destroyed it, didn’t we?”

Her voice has a hint of amusement he doesn’t understand until he raises off her and pulls her back
onto the mattress they are both barely on anymore.

“Holy shit.” He whispers.

The sheets are torn in so many places from their nails and hands. The pillow he used earlier was
somehow ripped open, and the feathers lay around them everywhere. There are a few specks of
blood that he knows are from the scratches she left all over his shoulders, chest, and back on the
cream-colored sheets.

Granger laughs lightly and moves into his lap as they both take in what they have done.

“We ruined the bed.”

“No, we conquered it.” He says as he kisses the top of her head, and she sighs into his skin.
Content and sated. “I am so proud of you.”

“Be proud of us.”

He nods and rubs the burning skin of her back, taking the warmth for himself. They had come a
long way recently. Both of them. And while he knows it will never be perfect, it was more than he
ever imagined for himself. She fingers the ripped sheet, and he watches a feather floating in the
breeze from the open window.

It was beautiful when they worked together. When they were a team. When she allowed him to
work with her to advance both herself and him. The Wizarding World had proven they were still
not ready for them. For everything their relationship fronted, acknowledged, and fought against.
People hated them on both sides. Hating her for loving him. And hating him for loving her. Both
ideologies being challenged.

“Want to ruin something else?” He whispers.

“What do you mean?”

The idea hits him before he has time to fight it. If he was being honest, the idea had been swarming
around in his mind for years now. He knew he couldn’t keep hold of it forever. Yet, he also wasn’t
willing to give it up, make it quick.

But as he looks at the bed and at her, he knows it is time to move on. To let go. To win one of his
own battles.

“Do you trust me?” He presses his forehead into hers and watches the glimmer of gold move in
those big brown eyes.

“Always.”

“Then get some clothes on and follow me. Grab your wand.”

She does as he instructs, and once they are both dressed, he grabs her hand and takes her outside.

They wave quickly to Theo and Red. Theo holding her extended belly from behind and her sighing
in pleasure.

“Where are you two going?”

“To ruin something.” He says shortly. Determined. Not really wanting to explain. This was
something only the two of them should do.

Together.

“Theo, didn’t you make a charm that helps hold her belly weight up on its own?”

Theo smiles as Red rests her hands on top of his that are holding their baby's weight in his grasp.

“He did, but he seems to prefer to do it this way.”

Yes.

Adorable.

We don’t have time for this.

Draco yanks her arm, and she follows, catching the edge of his mood that has set in.

They walk past the wards, and he pulls her in and apparates them to the front steps.

As soon as she pulls away, she freezes.

“Draco… what, what are we doing here?”

He looks up and feels his body temperature drop as he takes in Malfoy Manor.

The windows are dark. The steps and front are covered in leaves and debris, and the landscaping
has overgrown and escaped its refines.

As soon as the war was won, the place was deserted. But the remnants of the darkness that lived
and took place here could be felt with each intake of breath.
The horrible memories for both of them, and also so many others, were still held inside these
stones.

So much of the past and what they went through.

So much of what his family had stood for, and what he was supposed to stand for within the
Wizarding World, was exemplified by this manor. By the portraits, and history, and events.

By their Pureblood status and belief system that created nothing but divide and space for
persecution.

I will never be what you tried to make me become.

“Let’s burn it.”

“What?”

He looks down, and he can’t hold back the smile at her astonished expression. He pulls out his
wand and starts walking up the front steps.

“Let’s burn it.” He repeats as he enters the main entryway.

“You want to… burn Malfoy Manor?"

“Yes. The ministry already stripped it of the books and other valuable pieces. There is nothing left
that should continue to exist.”

He waits for her to show him what she is thinking. Maybe this was extreme. Maybe this was stupid.
Maybe he shouldn’t have brought her back to the place where she was hurt so many times and…

“I love it.” She turns, and her grin begins to take over her whole face. “Let’s check to make sure
the Ministry didn’t forget anything.”

He opens his mouth to argue because he knows the Ministry had done a thorough job of their
sweep. But he stops himself.

She doesn’t know how often you have been here, Malfoy.

Don’t show the clever witch anything more.

It’s just one secret.

He follows her throughout the house. Moving from room to room, and scanning them quickly for
anything of value or importance. They skip a few. His bedroom, the drawing room, and the room
other spectacles were held in before Theo found her.

She starts to turn down the stairs to the dungeons when Draco reaches out to stop her.
“What are you doing?”

“Checking down here to make sure…”

“There is nothing of worth in the dungeons, Granger.”

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let me have this.

“Yes, but if you want to set a stone structure on fire and have heat to the point that can destroy it,
we should set smaller fires throughout the space, especially in the lower areas where there is less
air. It’ll help the Fiendfyre.” She turns and pushes his hand away as she speaks. Climbing down
the stairs quickly and casting a Lumos to light the path.

He can’t stop her.

It would look too suspicious at this point.

Draco walks after her and keeps to her left. They move down the stairs and back into the long
hallway that extends the entire length of the manor above.

Granger is moving quickly, not paying attention to the surroundings; thank fuck. So she doesn’t
seem to notice the sound of something moving behind one of the doors. Or the feel of his wards
they pass by. He watches her face for any recognition and sees nothing.

“We will light one here at the end and then cast Fiendfyre in the main lobby where it is safest.”

She casts the spell, and the wooden area at the end of the hall begins to smolder, and yellow-
orange flames erupt over the surface.

“Okay, let’s go.” She grabs his hand and pulls him quickly down the hall. “The press is going to
have a field day when they…”

Her voice is cut off by a light thump from the side.

Fuck.

Granger stops and pulls her eyebrows together as she looks over to the closed door. The smoke
starts to travel around them as she continues to stare. Draco doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t
know what to say. This was his monster. His problem. His own area of retribution the darkness in
him craved for.

Another faint sound emits from behind the door, but the smoke is beginning to make it hard to
breathe.
He tries to pull her forward, but her steps are slow and hesitant.

“Must be an animal.”

It is a shitty lie. One he knows she doesn’t believe even before he is done speaking the words.

But instead of stopping him, and opening the door, and seeing a part of him that is far from the
silver she called him, Granger lets out a breath. He feels himself holding his own as their eyes lock
together.

Waiting.

Fearing.

And then, she nods slightly and turns her eyes away.

He releases his breath.

Thank you, Granger.

They move up the stairs quickly, and he sets a series of small fires in certain rooms of the house
before meeting her by the front door.

“Ready?” She asks as she takes a step back.

Draco smirks, grabs her wrist, and yanks her in front of him. He raises her wand along with his
own and kisses the spot right underneath her ear.

“Together. A team. Let’s burn all of it, Granger.”

She lets out a breath and grips her wand with determination. “All of it.”

They say the spell, and the fire erupts in front of them. Unlike last time, he never loses hold of her
as they run out of the manor and fall onto the ground by the pond.

They both huff heavily as the black cloud of smoke takes over the sky, and the windows that were
once dark, now shine with a golden orange that sparks and moves.

Burning.

Burning it all.

Like it should have been a long time ago.

He looks over to see a mirror example of fire in her eyes as she watches what she has done.

How she has burned away all the parts of him that he never wanted to carry. How she made room
in the ashes for more, for better.

Because that is what hope does.

Neither of them speaks as they watch the building fall into itself. They both listen with a sense of
adoration and respect as the noises of destruction play out in front of them.

But Draco does not miss the slight flinch of Granger’s body as a faint scream, distinctly female,
reverberates amidst the flames.

Yet they both continue to say nothing.

Because he knows she knows.

He knows she put the pieces together of who he had been hiding, and hurting, and fulfilling a
promise he made to the cunt years ago.

Draco waits for her to acknowledge it, to ask him why, to be affected by the fact of what they just
destroyed being more than he had let on.

But she doesn’t.

No.

His incredible, perfect, golden girl sighs and squeezes his hand in his and says nothing.

You were made for me.

They both sit in silence for a long time.

Watching as the manor starts to become nothing but ashes.

It isn’t until the pops of apparition from beside them that they finally look away. The press starts
snapping photo after photo of the manor, now completely encased in flames and black smoke.

It’s time to go.

Draco pulls Granger up off the ground as the press notices them and starts rushing in their
direction.

Granger rolls her eyes. “Let’s give them a photo, and then apparate us.”

He agrees, and she takes his hand in hers.

But instead of walking toward the crowd and flashes, Granger bends her knees, and Draco laughs at
her obvious and snarky idea.

He follows her witty movement and bows as she curtsies, holding it for the photos. Taking full
responsibility for the fire behind them.

Letting the world know, they planned to continue.

Together.

Theo

Three months later

“Teddy, when I find you, so help me…”

She slams the door down the hallway. Theo lets out the breath he is holding and releases his death
grip on the fabric surrounding him.

She seems to be moving in the opposite direction.

Good.

He would have back-up soon to help distract the terrifying witch.

Until then, I am not coming out. No way.

Too scary.

Theo leans against the corner of the room he is hiding in. Invisible underneath the handy cloak that
he liked to joke was half the reason he married Gingersnap.

He utilized it often as her due date came and even more since it passed.

Because while the woman was truly exceptional in many ways, and he loved her dearly, she was
not very nice pregnant.

And that was putting it lightly.

Theo tried to be understanding. He had read so many books over the last couple of months to help
both himself and her with what was about to come.

He learned how complex and truly miraculous reproduction was, and how intricate the female’s
body operated to sustain life.

He also learned things that apparently made him just as impossible to live with as often as her.

At least that’s what everyone else said.

But what the hell was he supposed to do? Just sit back and watch her body give everything it had to
support the child he put in her?

Do nothing to make her experience better?

Not try to fix this as best he could?

That wasn’t Theo. He made other people's problems his own. Especially a problem that belonged
to his wife.

So when she started complaining of an upset stomach and then proceeded to throw up habitually,
he obsessively researched why this happened and came up with an herbal tea that seemed to help.

Now, many witches came to St. Mungo’s for the product.

Yet his witch was still cranky and scary most of the time.

Then, when her uterus started to distend with their growing child, and her back began to hurt
constantly, he created a distortion of the Wingardium Leviosa spell to lift the baby weight and hold
her belly for her rather than all the pressure being placed on her back.

But the wicked witch continued to live up to her nickname.

And it seemed to Theo’s ever-growing confusion that the more he tried to help, the more agitated
she became.

Hermione often said that he was as bad as Ginevra, which he didn't understand. How was trying to
better things the same as her complaining and changing the blankets on their bed four fucking
times a night? Or telling him off for bringing up the birthing plan he researched heavily and
compiled for her best safety and outcome? Even if he wanted to go over it every day this last
month.

It was not the same.

He was trying to help.

She wanted to be mad.

Hell, she yelled at him just this morning for apparently breathing the wrong way, yet now, she is
running around the house looking for him because she wants him to do something he knows he
cannot do.

It is safer to stay out of her way. So he will cower right here in his corner, underneath the cloak
until…

“Theo! Wherever you are hiding, it is safe to come out now!” Yells a female’s voice.

Hermione.

Don’t fall for it, Theo boy.

Those witches work together sometimes…

“Nott, let’s go! Zabini already drank half the spiked burnt chocolate.”

That voice is Draco.

Draco is his brother.

He wouldn’t set him up.

He wouldn’t be a part of a trap against Theo, would he?

But he also mentioned burnt chocolate.

My one weakness…

Why couldn’t the baby come when it was supposed to? When he had planned? Theo didn’t like
surprises of any kind, but one thing he had picked up from all the books and research was that
pregnancy and childcare would be full of them. Just thinking about it made him go through a box
of wooden picks a day. His new habit to keep from needing his other sticks that could cause
breathing problems for his child.

Fuck that.

“Fine. I’ll be dog-earring your books until you…”

“Okay! Okay! I’m coming.”

He stands up and keeps the cloak wrapped around everything but his head as he peeks out and sees
Draco and Hermione standing at the top of the stairs.

“Where is she?” A noise from behind makes him jump and turn. Half expecting Gingersnap to be
mid-pounce, but all he sees is the clock ticking.

“Probably stuck in a bean bag, needing your help getting up.” Hermione elbows Draco as he
laughs.

“So they are really here?” Theo slowly walks to join them as he balls the cloak in his hands.

“Yes, they are setting up the cards now.” Hermione says as the three of them turn down the stairs
toward the game room on the other side of the house. “Why were you hiding? Ginny said she was
looking for you for the last two hours.”

Theo averts his eyes and starts to walk a bit quicker in front of them. He would not be telling them
why he was hiding from his witch. He realized, without their criticism, that he was crazy, but he
couldn’t help it. He couldn’t do what she wanted. And hiding was easier than confrontation for
him.

“Probably because of how bitchy she has been the last week.”

“She has a full-grown baby inside her, Draco. Of course she is uncomfortable and cranky; anyone
would be. I hope you aren’t taking it personally, Theo. You know she adores you.”

“I know, but it is easier to stay out of her way.”

He allows Draco and Hermione to enter the room first, standing as a barrier between him and his
Gingersnap. Unlike how gambling nights used to go, the room is clear of smoke as it was
prohibited in his home now that Ginevra was pregnant.

The seven bean bags that he spent thousands of galleons trying to destroy sit around the low card
table. Apparently, Blaise once again found where he hid them. And Draco is correct with his
assumption that Ginevra had planted herself in one of them.

Theo fights a half-smile as he watches her sigh in frustration as she tries to roll back and forth to
find an angle that would give her leverage to escape.

She is not succeeding if the groans are any indication, making her large round belly jiggle. Her
chest is flushed like her skin tended to be this last trimester. Her hair had also grown longer and
now lay over her bump.

She is beautiful pregnant.

Well… until she talks.

“Will someone help the boulder out, please!” She spits as she glares at each of them. Leaving her
pain promising expression on him longer than anyone else.

No one moves.

Theo gulps loudly and realizes he is responsible for this situation, and bends to grab her arm to lift
her. When he gets close and reaches out, she jerks her arm away and jabs her finger in his direction.

“No! Not you! You have done enough and have made it very clear you are disgusted by me.”

He rolls his eyes as she tries to cross her arms, but her belly gets in the way, and she grunts.

“I could never be disgusted by you. Now stop being so stubborn.”

He lifts her up slowly as she places her hand on the arch of her back and winces. Theo accios the
chair they found the most comfortable for her to move in and out of, over to the table. As she sits,
he grabs her pillow and the thin and thick blankets for her. She leans forward and lets him place
the pillow behind her back as she wraps herself up in the thin blanket.

She must be having a hot flash.

Theo tucks the blanket to the side and contemplates resting his hand over her belly to see if their
baby is active.

The first time he felt it move, she woke in the middle of the night, squealing in delight as she
placed his hand on her rounded belly. He was still mid-sleep-talk about some stolen loot or
whatnot when the slight bump against his inner palm woke him immediately.

Ever since he was obsessed with her belly and the little human they made together inside her.
Touching it any time he could. Falling asleep with both hands splayed across the stretched skin.
Moving the blanket down and lifting her shirt to watch the temporary mounds and waves of their
child's movements against Ginevra all throughout the night.

It was mesmerizing.

“So… my lil namesake still won’t come out, huh?”

Everyone gives Blaise a look at his snarky comment as Pansy sits down next to him with a glass of
alcohol.

Tonight.

Tonight hopefully, would be the last gambling night before the baby was born. This means tonight
was the last night for him to get out of his fucking Unbreakable Vow.

He had tried finding a way, but everyone and everything assured him there was nothing he could
do.

Nothing but try to convince Blaise to make another Vow that would relieve him of the past
stipulations.

Like the bastard would ever do that willingly.

Plus, he knows the fuckers all are betting whether or not their child would have to endure a life
with such a name and a disaster of a namesake.

Draco and Hermione sit on the other side of Ginevra, and Hermione hands her a mug filled with
non-alcoholic burnt chocolate and a bag of crisps.

Ginevra gives the snacks a smile that has been exclusively for food for the last couple of months,
and takes a drink.

“Where’s Daph?” Draco asks as he picks up the cards Blaise dealt in front of them.

“Traveling with her new girlfriend. They will be gone until the end of the month,” Pansy says.

Hermione holds her cards away as Blaise leans back and pretends to stretch. “Is it the same one
that came to gambling night two months ago? What was her name?”

Pansy throws a few chips into the center of the table. “Clara. Yeah, they are beautiful together.
Last time we had lunch, Daph said she thinks she is the one. Wouldn’t be surprised if they came
back hitched.”

Theo’s hand is horrible. Most of his hands have been horrible at gambling nights ever since they
announced Ginevra’s pregnancy.

What a coincidence…

Cheating bastard.

Hermione’s eyes widen. “Really? But they have been together less than five months.”

Blaise shrugs as they all place their hands up, and see Pansy is the winner. “Daph says when you
know, you know, or some other sappy shit like that.”

Theo sticks a pick in between his lips, focusing on the feel of wood against his tongue and the top
of his mouth. Flicking it back and forth as he reaches for the cards and starts to shuffle.

“Daphodil getting married before you guys. What’s holding you back from knowing?” Theo hopes
to hit a nerve and cause unrest in Pansy and Blaise's relationship. Since the man had caused so
much in his own.

Pansy scoffs. “We are never getting married.”

Theo looks up, surprised, and turns his gaze to Blaise, who throws out his hands in defense.
“What? I didn’t force her to say that. We agreed never to marry."

"Why?" Theo moves Ginevra’s hand closer to the edge of the table, so she doesn't have to sit up.

"Because it seems pointless. What, like a piece of paper shows she is it for me? Bollocks. We
stayed together through the hell of war. If that isn't dedication, I don't know what is." Blaise kisses
the side of Pansy's cheek and rubs his nose affectionately back and forth over the spot. "It's just not
for us. We don't need it."

"No, we don't. What about you two?" Pansy smiles across the table at the other couple but also
jerks her cards out of Blaise's line of sight.

Theo quickly looks over to see Draco staring down at his cards without blinking while Hermione
fidgets in her chair uncomfortably. She hasn't drank much yet, so Theo knows their demeanor isn't
due to alcohol.

Shit… have they not spoken about that yet? You've had the damn ring for years, Draco. And she
knows.

You two and your bloody secrets… You’d think you would have learned by now.

Ginevra slaps her hand down on the table unexpectedly and makes them all jump. "Well, whether
you get married or not, don't get pregnant. Because then, your husband will stop wanting to touch
you."

His ears burn as all the eyes fall on him in astonishment at her outburst.

Instead of helping him out, Ginevra focuses on balancing her bowl mug on top of her belly and then
smiles at her success.

He wants to change the subject. Immediately.

"Uhm, I call. Pansy, what do you wa…"

"Trouble in paradise, you two?" Blaise raises his eyebrows and leans in to show his interest.

"There would be less trouble if you would agree to another vow if I win this next hand."

Blaise laughs. "For the 100th time, not happening, Nott. But why does she think you don't want to
touch her?"

"Because he hid from me all day instead of having sex with me like I wanted."

Shit…

Theo lets his head fall to the surface of the table.

He does not want the lot of them to know the intimate details of his marriage. Or the issues they
were currently going through.

"You did what, Nott?"

"Yeap. Got back from our healer appointment this morning, which he once again tried to take
over…”
“Because that idiot didn’t know what he was talking about. He mispronounced cervix, for fuck’s
sake.”

“…And he suggested natural at-home remedies for us to try that could help get this human being
out of me…”

"Ginevra, please stop…"

“…We did the walking. We did the spicy foods. But the one most effective idea…" He can feel the
finger pointing at him without looking up. "He won't do. Because I am too pregnant to be fuckable
I guess."

Great. Now I will never hear the end of this.

The room stays silent for a few moments after her emotion-filled words. They sound heavier than
he expected them to. He didn't realize she was taking his hiding as a lack of desire to shag her.

"That isn't it." He says into the top of the card table.

Hermione hums and tries to help the situation, the spectacular evil witch. "I have heard that as
well. That sex can help bring on labor. I am sure you read it in your books about magical
pregnancies."

"I did."

"Then why don't you try it?"

He hears Ginevra pat her belly and huff. "Because I am as big as the mole on my Great Aunt
Tessy’s back."

"No."

He loves her body and how it has changed and supported life. It was a work of art, in his opinion.

"Because you found a whole biscuit tucked underneath my tit and belly."

"No."

That had been hilarious. He saved the biscuit and placed it on display with a plaque describing the
memory.

"Then why?! I am so sick of being pregnant! I want this baby out now."

"Trust me, so do I."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've been a bitch."

"Hey!" Theo shoots his head up and glares at Draco. Watching as Hermione takes off her shoe and
whacks him in the side.
I don't care how true those words are. Don't call her that and mean it.

"Are you making an eyeball right now with your body, ferret?! No? Then you don't get a fucking
opinion on my demeanor."

“Well, actually, its eyes are completely developed at this point. Now, you are sustaining…”

The look she cuts him could kill, so he quickly snaps his mouth shut and stares down at his cards,
focusing on the wooden pick in his mouth.

“You hate me pregnant.”

He sighs and places his face in his hand. “No, I do not hate you pregnant.”

“Then why, Theo? Why haven’t you touched me for weeks?! And hide from me every chance you
get?”

He looks up and meets her eyes to see they are watering slightly. Her emotions also seemed to be
harder for her to control lately.

Fuck… don’t cry. Please don’t cry because of me… You know how much I hate that.

He wraps her hand in his and places it on her belly. “Because… Because our baby is in there, and
while I know medically I can’t…” He pauses and tries to put all the anxiety he has been feeling
into words. “It is just, weird, okay? We will go for another long walk around the estate tonight.
Maybe that will...”

She groans and throws his hand off her as she slumps into the chair. “No more walking! No matter
how many charms you put on my feet, they still hurt.”

“We could go get some hot food if you want?” Hermione suggests.

“The only thing I want in me is Theo. But he doesn’t want me.”

This is getting old very quickly. “Ginevra, stop.”

“I’m not skinny and lightweight anymore…”

“Gingersnap…”

“…And my boobs have changed, and I have stretch marks on my arse. Can’t blame him honestly,
so…”

You know what? Fuck it.

Theo stands up abruptly and brings her with him. She yelps in surprise and tries to adjust her body
to be comfortable on her feet. He turns and begins to pull her out of the room.

“Wait, Teddy, where are you…”

He moves his face down by her ear. “I fucked that baby into you; you want me to fuck it out of
you? Fine, come on.”

The joy that takes over her face makes him hesitate in his frustrated thoughts of her. She was just
uncomfortable, irritated, and tired. All she wanted was relief, and Theo had been working his arse
off to give her any kind of relief he could throughout the last nine months. If his cock could fix
this, why not let it?

Ginevra actually does a little jump of joy next to him as they walk toward the door.

“This is different. Usually, it is you and Frosty leaving early to fuck. Have fun, you two! Get us our
lil Blaise… whoa, what is that?”

As he is speaking, Theo hears a wet noise next to him. He turns and sees Ginevra staring down at
herself. The dress she is wearing due to comfortability has a large stain spreading over the front,
and there is a puddle forming on the floor in between…

Oh shit… oh shit oh shit oh shit!

I know what this means!

“Oh my gods…” / “What is that?” / “Her water just broke!”

Everyone starts moving except for him and Ginevra. They both keep staring down at the floor.

Theo can hear his heart beating frantically in his ears. He can’t hear anything else. He can’t take in
anything other than her standing in front of him, starting to go into labor.

This is happening.

We… we are about to have a baby.

I am about to be a father.

Fuck.

“I…” Ginevra swallows loudly and blinks. “I need to go make sure the pram is sheeted. And, and
we should check the temperature of the nursery. Oh and…”

Hermione comes up beside her and wraps her arms around her.

“You know everything is ready, Gin. You and Theo have been ready for weeks. We need to get
you to St. Mungo’s. Theo, go grab the birthing kit. We are about to have a baby!”
Theo doesn’t move. He can’t move. Outwardly he was frozen completely still, while inwardly…

I’m not ready.

“I’m not ready…” He repeats the words out loud quietly.

Draco moves in front of him as Hermione directs Ginevra over to the floo, where Blaise and Pansy
make calls to inform people of what is happening.

“You are, brother.” He embraces his shoulder firmly as he places the birthing kit Theo
meticulously put together for months into his hands.

They walk over and follow Hermione and Ginevra as they floo into the entryway of the healing
center.

As soon as they enter, the healers place Ginevra in a wheelchair while the others look at him. A
sense of belonging rushes over him as they hand him her forms and look to him for direction.

Because he basically runs the operations here. Even if he preferred to do most of the behind-the-
scenes work.

“Healer Nott, the room you requested for Mrs. Nott is ready and available…”

He flips over the sheets that are magically updating with the diagnostic chart floating above,
displaying her and the baby’s numbers.

“Good, thank you. Have Healer Bernard meet me…”

“He isn’t available. Healer Wendy is on staff and will be…”

“Oh hell no.” Theo turns as someone hands him his healing robes, and he throws them on. Ginevra
shakes her head in disagreement before wincing and holding the side of her stomach. Her numbers
rise for 36 seconds before going back to normal. “Healer-wants-my-wizard-Wendy will not be
delivering our baby. Find someone else.”

The others all stare at him as he kneels in front of his wife. He tilts her chin up to meet his eyes,
and he tries to give her the smile she always says is her favorite. Her eyes are watering again, and
she can’t stop rubbing her stomach back and forth.

“It’s going to be okay. She is the best in this field and…”

Her face creases in pain again, and she groans as she wraps her hand around his and squeezes hard.

It has been only three minutes since her last contraction. They are coming quick already. Molly
warned them how intense and fast her births had been.

She doesn’t fight them as they wheel her to the room. It has the best view in the center, and he
bought a specific kind of bed for her comfort.

He and Hermione move her into the bed and help her put on the birthing gown. Draco places
galleons into the hands of every person they pass to sway them not to leak the information to the
press. He is sure there are threats as well.
Theo places the birthing kit down on the chair and sees his hands are steady, but like usual,
everything inside him is not.

He tries to count his breaths and escape the hot fog in his head that is taking up all the space for
anything else. He doesn’t know how long he stands there holding the bag open, trying to pull
himself together, before Ginevra’s loud noise of pain makes him blink, and brings him back.

He looks over the numbers, terrified to see something off.

She cries again.

She is okay, Theo boy.

Birth is painful. There is nothing you can do to change that for her.

All of her numbers show everything is progressing normally.

Unfortunately, sometimes normal has to be painful.

She is in transition.

And transitions are never pretty.

“Theo…” He moves over beside her bed as he keeps looking at the numbers. “Can I hold your
hand?”

“Of course.” He intertwines their fingers and sees as another contraction begins. Healer Wendy
comes into the room and places herself down at the foot of the bed.

“They are happening quicker. Started at four minutes, but she is already down to less than three
before the next begins. She needs a calming draught. The one I developed, and…”

“Theodore Nott.” He looks down as Wendy gently pulls Ginevra's legs apart and begins to inspect
the progress. “You are not St. Mungo’s top healer today. You are not working today. You are a
husband and soon-to-be father. Be that.”

Be that. Be that.

How the hell am I supposed to be that?

I don’t know how to be that.

He gulps loudly as Hermione pulls Ginevra’s hair back and ties it out of her face. Sweat is beading
down her temple, and Theo waves his wand to cast a cooling charm over her body.

He moves to stand next to Wendy to see for himself how Ginevra's dilation is progressing. But as
soon as he looks, he feels his knees begin to give out. Draco catches him and holds him up, as the
devastation happening inside him starts to portray itself outwardly.
Because this isn’t some random person.

This is Ginevra.

This is his Gingersnap.

And his baby.

And…

“Theo.” His brother turns his face as he hears Ginevra’s painful noises somewhere far away. A vial
is placed in his hands. “Fight to be here. Right now. For her, be here.”

He swallows the potion and squeezes his eyes to try to fight against the panic trying to take his
body and mind away from him.

Trying to take this moment away from him and claim it as its own.

It had already taken too much from him. It wouldn’t take this.

Breathe in… 72. Breathe out… 73.

She groans.

Breathe in.. 74. Breathe out.. 75.

He hears his name.

You can do this. Nothing about her is a fork. Not even this.

Theo turns back to his witch and sees her reaching for him. He grabs hold of her hands just in time
as another contraction takes over. She growls and pushes against his hands as her muscles
contract.

“Breathe with me, Ginevra. Breathe in…”

She does loudly, and he follows weakly.

“Breathe out…”

“Please stay. Please don’t let go. It hurts, Theo.”

He presses his face into her hair and kisses her as she pants.

“I know. Fuck, I know. I would do anything to take this pain away from you. I would.”
“Would you give me another finger?” She tries to laugh through her heavy breaths at her joke, and
he smiles.

“Any one you want. Even a thumb.”

She laughs again before it turns into a wince and her body tenses.

Healer Wendy looks up at them, “It’s time to push. You are about to meet your baby.”

Her hands squeeze him, and Hermione bends and whispers something in Ginevra’s ear as Draco
comes to stand behind her. His brother nods his head at him, and he returns the gesture.

“Okay, ready?”

“No.” They say together.

Healer Wendy smiles. “No one ever is, but you will be great parents. Trust me. Now, push.”

It happens faster than he wants, but at the same time, slower than he desires.

On the one hand, it seems like mere seconds before he hears the sound of a wail, but on the other,
the sound seems to travel on and on.

Changing everything in an instant.

It would last forever, these moments.

He knows it as they are happening in front of him.

As he sees the ten fingers and the tens toes squirming about as Wendy wraps them in a blanket.

As his exceptional witch sits up and takes their baby in her arms, cradling it close as tears stream
down her face.

As she meets his eyes, everything in him falls apart in the best way possible.

"Green eyes." She says through a sob and holds out her hand to bring him closer.

But he doesn't move closer. He just stares at the red hair, and the little ears, and the mouth opening
and closing.

"Theo…"

I don't want to hurt it.

I can't touch it.

"Theo, yes, you can. You can. Please, come here. Let me show you."

Fuck, he must have said that out loud.

He flexes his fingers at his side and repeats Draco’s words in his head as he moves to sit next to her
on the bed.
To be here.

To be present.

And not caught up in all the what-ifs, and worry.

Ginevra rests her head on his shoulder and moves the baby onto his lap. He awkwardly holds the
weight in the crook of his arms. Stiff and afraid to jostle the breakable being.

In his experience, everything broke.

The child squirms, and the blanket falls off its body. The little arms shoot up, exploring the space
it had never experienced before.

Theo watches in wonder and notices the bumps rising on the pure and perfect skin, and reaches to
wrap it back in the blanket.

As he tries to tuck the moving arms into the warmth, the little hand knocks against his own and
latches around his pinky finger. Holding on tightly. And his lungs stop working.

He is touching his baby.

Their baby.

And it is holding onto him.

Wanting him.

You want me…

Fuck, I know the books say this is just reactionary, but hell to that.

You are holding onto me.

Me.

I love you.

He pulls the child into his chest and kisses the top of its thick red hair. "Every piece of me is yours.
All of it. Everything. Yours."

Ginevra and Hermione both start crying louder. They all stare in wonder at the new member of
their family. At the hope that is held in his arms for all of them.

Ginevra takes the baby back as it starts to suck on its fist fervently. Showing signs that the child
must be hungry.

“We will give you some time.” Hermione says with a weird expression on her face as Ginevra pulls
herself from her birthing gown to try and feed the baby. “We will let the family know. Come out
when you are ready for guests, Theo.”

Her face is changing slowly, and Theo meets Draco's eyes in warning at what seems to be
happening.

For some reason, it looks like she is switching.

His brother begins to pull her out of the room.

"Be here, Theo."

He nods as he turns his attention back to his wife. The door shuts, and he tries to help her with
positioning as she tries to get the baby to breastfeed.

She winces slightly and then lets out a sigh.

“Does it hurt?”

She smiles and leans back into his shoulder. “No, not really. It is weird, though. A good kind of
weird.”

They both watch in amazement at their baby as the other healers clean up the room and tend to
Ginevra.

“How do you feel?” He asks as he pulls a few strands of hair behind her ear.

“Honestly, better than I did.” She rubs her finger back and forth on the rosy little cheek that is
tanner than her skin, matching the same shade as the pinky finger on her hand.

Matching him.

“This is our baby.”

He kisses her deeply in that moment, and she smiles into his mouth. “It is. Thank you.”

“For what?” She asks sleepily.

“For everything. For making my life so much more than I ever thought it would be.”

Healer Wendy comes up beside the bed and smiles at the two of them as she flips the forms in her
hands and accios a quill.

“Congratulations. We will bring you a meal very soon Mrs. Nott, as I am sure you are hungry.”
Wendy pulls the side table in front of them, places the parchment down, beginning to write the
basic information the center needed for their files. “We have most of your information already, so
all we need now is a name.”

Oh shit.

“A, a name?”

Theo won’t raise his eyes from his child.

Child.

Baby.
Because the two of them had been so wrapped up in its presence that they didn't take a second to
look to see…

“Yes. A name for your son.”

Of. Fucking. Course.

For some reason, Ginevra starts to giggle immediately. Her chest fighting against rising and
causing their baby… no, their son, to shake, but the struggle to hold in her amusement somehow
makes it harder for her. And as soon as she meets his eyes and takes in his defeated expression, she
starts laughing uncontrollably.

Healer Wendy seems very confused, and the expression grows as Theo finds himself beginning to
laugh at the true ridiculousness of the moment.

“Teddy, he has red hair too. Red hair and…” She chokes on her laugh, and his own grow louder at
the sound.

The poor kid.

They have had a plan in place if this situation became a reality. Maybe the last 9 months had
helped them come to terms with it, or maybe they were both on the edge of so many strong
emotions that their bodies were giving in.

Maybe it was a lot of things.

But it doesn’t change that when Wendy hands them the forms, Theo’s body forces him to write the
six letters within the legal document for their son.

Blaise.

Theo lifts the quill and reaches to caress his son’s face as he continues to suck on his mother.

Ginevra reaches out and grabs onto the quill as well. “I like it, Teddy. I really, really like it. I think
it fits him.”

He nods his head and lets her control the quill as it writes out the next nine letters and then finishes
with the Nott.”

A pressure against his chest disappears as Healer Wendy looks over the forms and agrees. “Okay,
sweet Blaise it is.”

“No, not Blaise. We want him to go by his middle name.” Ginevra states with confidence.

It was her idea, the brilliant witch.

And now, as he watches his son, Theo can’t help but agree how truly fitting it is.

“Okay then, we will make sure to write that down. Enjoy your precious baby, Blaise Frederick
Nott.”

“Freddy.” Ginevra corrects again.

It’s cute. He looks like a Freddy.

Wendy nods. “Freddy.”

She turns and leaves, and they both can hear the sounds of Ginevra’s large and abrasive Weasley
crew in the time the door is open.

She pulls Freddy off of her, and Theo takes him in his arms to burp him while also giving her the
ability to cover herself.

“Well, we should probably let them all in. Can you tell them to be quiet, though? And only a few at
a time.”

Theo pats his son’s back until he hears the sound he was trying to coax out of him before handing
him to her and walking towards the door.

To let the world know that he was a father, that he had a son, that he would do everything in his
power to be everything he had always wanted for himself.

What more could he do than that?

He opens the door and braces himself for the overbearing family but stops dead in his tracks at the
sight of Hermione crying and being held up by Draco in the hallway.

The smile on his face falls away, but Draco shakes his head and pushes them around the corner
and out of sight.

Before he can follow them, the noise of a screeching Molly Weasley bombards any of his plans and
forces him back to this moment.

Draco has her. Whatever is happening, Draco has her.

She will be okay.

She will.

"Boy or girl? Boy or girl, Theodore?!"

He blinks and looks at the large group in front of him.

"Boy."

The group explodes with joy but keeps their hands to themselves, thankfully at the news.

A loud cheer from the back has Theo locking eyes with the fucker taking way too much pride in
this moment. "Yes! Lil Blaise Jr.!"

"That is not his name, right?" Padma really needs to know the answer if her concerned expression
is to be believed.

"It is." Theo is not taking the time to explain that whole mess. "His name is Blaise Frederick Nott."
 Molly gasps and covers her mouth with her hands. "Fred..."

Theo smiles and nods. Molly begins to cry loudly, and Arthur wraps his wife in his arms as he
wipes his own tear.

"Thank you." He whispers.

"No, thank you." He says in return.

The two words keep repeating in his mind as he follows them into the room, his eyes falling on his
little family.

On the loves of his life.

At how everything was coming together so perfectly.

Chapter End Notes

Embedded art by Circe:

Twitter & Instagram
 Epilogue: 4
Chapter Summary

And then, there was one.

I miss them already.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my favorite real witches, Merae. I love that this
story brought you into my life. I hope you enjoy everything that happens in this
chapter, and also had a day that made you feel abundantly loved. You deserve it.

TW listed in end notes for those interested.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Hermione

Seven months later

The dew on the grass has seeped through her shoes. She should have worn her boots instead. But
the estate land is a few kilometers in length, and she did not want to walk that distance in uncomfy
boots.

But now, as she sees the houses coming back into view through the heavy fog of the early
morning, her shoes are no longer comfy due to the perspiration.

It usually would bother her more than it is in this moment. As she fills her lungs quickly with the
excursion of walking the border of the property.

I feel alive.

She does.

She had a good week. No, a great week. No switches, no the other her taking over like she was
experiencing more lately. Almost 30% of the time if Theo’s calculations were correct.

To have a full week where she felt entirely in control of herself was something to bask in. So this
morning, when she woke up earlier than normal, she took the opportunity to just be.

Out here.
In the open.

Hermione wraps Draco’s robes around her a bit tighter as a breeze travels across the fields.

The sound of a cry turns her attention back to the house.

Freddy was getting up earlier and earlier over the past month. The cry doesn’t last for more than a
few seconds before it stops. Hermione is sure either Theo had already been in the chair or sleeping
on the floor. Or Ginny was up and awaiting the inevitable.

They were great parents. Conforming to the new role in a way that looked effortless for both of
them.

Hermione’s thoughts are cut off as another gut-piercing screech travels to her. This specific one she
doesn’t like. This particular noise does things to her body that…

She closes her eyes and casts the silencing charm.

No, please, no.

It has been such a good week.

Please stay away.

In her mind, she occludes back into her bookshelves. Hermione realized that sometimes the
switches were easier to handle if she prepared.

She opens her eyes and freezes. Her hand instinctively went to her breast and now rubbed against
the mark sealed to her flesh. Sealed right above her heart.

Pet…

Your body will always be mi…

She sucks in a deep breath as a tear falls. Fighting against where her mind was trying to take her.

She loves Freddy.

She truly, truly loves him in a way she has never experienced before with children.

Watching him grow up over these past few months, witnessing his carefree and quirky personality
starting to show. Holding him close and being a part of his life made hers more.

But it also brought some things to the surface Hermione had never prepared for.

Like breastfeeding.

Like watching her friend cry in pain and watch her body…
Hermione’s had unexpectedly responded to all the noise, similar contortions of a body, and skin…

She experienced her longest switch after Freddy’s birth. Gone almost two whole days. Stuck in her
head. Stuck in the past and the memories. Her mind, too fractured to stop the other her from
making her relive the darkest moments.

They had learned a lot since then.

Written new things on the paper stuck to the fridge.

She couldn’t watch Ginny feed Freddy.

Certain cries she had to step away from.

And any birth talk she couldn’t partake in.

Getting pregnant.

Carrying a child.

Having her body go through…

She grimaces as she throws a rock to distort the surface of the pond. It had been one of her greatest
fears while being a captive, and that fear had rooted itself into her subconscious. Rooted itself
within her wants and desires for her future.

My body has been through enough.

That, that is a fork.

It was a hard thing for her to accept at first. In one way, she kept viewing it as letting the monsters
win. That she was too weak to overcome this area. That not only would this be a fork for her, but it
would also be a fork forced upon Draco. Taking away something from him.

But they all reassured her that it wasn’t wrong, to want something different. That healing came in
various forms for everyone. And while one area may be progress for one person, it doesn’t mean it
would be for another.

Hermione continues her walk back to their home. She takes down the silencing charm to hear
Ginny’s soft singing coming from the open window of their kitchen.

The song is far from appropriate for a child, but Hermione knows if she moved closer to their
house, she would see Freddy giggling while chewing on his mum's hair.

She opens the gate to their garden, and the smile on her face grows as she notices her red
Gryffindor mug sitting on the front step.

With a note attached.

She framed the 58 from school she carried with her for years as mementos and proof. As soon as
anyone opened the front door, the first thing they would see was those notes displayed on the wall
directly in front of the door. Even the one with the joke Draco despised so much.
Her cold fingers wrap around the warmth of the mug, and she takes in a deep breath of the
comforting steaming liquid.

She sips her tea that he makes in the perfect way. The note is stuck to the other side of the mug,
and she carefully pulls it off.

One of these days, he will run out of things to say.

Recently, he tended to write his favorite quotes from the book series they were reading together.
One of their favorite things to do.

They didn’t always agree on their perspectives, thoughts on characters, or even whether a book was
good or not.

He argued with her, challenged her thoughts and viewpoints, and sometimes, even when she
thought he did agree, would play devils-advocate just to get her all fiery and holding back from
chucking a shoe.

Hermione thinks she has an idea of what will be written on this note, but when she flips it around,
she chokes on her breath.

-Hermione Granger

Will you marry me?

She stares at the words until her eyes begin to water, and she remembers to blink.

Marriage.

They never talked about this.

Somehow, over the years, they had accepted they would be doing the rest of their lives together. It
was a part of their deal that neither of them had to speak to know it was true.

The discussion wasn’t needed when so many of their actions proved it better than words ever
could.

He was hers, and she was his.

They were a 'we' for forever now.

However long their forever was.

But at the same time, she knows they are not like Pansy and Blaise, who shared the perspective of
marriage holding little significance.

She knew about her mother’s ring.

She knew and wanted this to come.

With him.
Only and always with him.

But she didn’t think it would come now. When her future was still so murky and unclear.

Plan for a future when the odds are in favor of having a future.

And they all knew her future was precarious at best.

She holds the note close to her chest above her heart and opens the door.

Hermione glances up at the framed notes. A clear mapping of how they got here. To this moment.

Draco is sitting where she knew he would be. At the kitchen table, reading the Daily Prophet.

She sits down across from him and takes another sip of her tea as he turns the page.

“How was your walk?”

He doesn’t look up from the page. His voice is normal. Relaxed. Just like he seems to be. Sitting
back in his chair, both of his legs now sprawled out on either side of hers under the table.

And Hermione thinks it odd but she feels relaxed as well.

I like it.

“It was good.”

“Good. Thank you for not waking me up.”

She smiles into her drink before taking another sip. “Reading anything interesting?”

“No.”

“I did.”

“Did you?”

He still hasn’t put down the damn newspaper. Even having the audacity to lick his thumb and turn
another page.

Cockroach.

She slides the note into the middle of the table.

“Why now, Draco?” Her voice is different. Betraying some of her inner thoughts in its softness.

He puts the newspaper down and doesn’t even look at the note. “What do you mean?”

“It has been years. Why not wait?”

His eyebrows meet in the center of his forehead. “Wait for what?”

“To know if I am going to have a future with you. Why make deals we may not be able to keep?”

Draco scoffs and folds the newspaper. “I would classify marriage as a bit more than a deal,
Granger.”

“Exactly.” She says, looking up to meet his silver eyes. They are not angry or agitated. They are
questioning. Lost in what she is apparently struggling to say. “I love you immensely. And I know
you love me. I hope you know I don’t need this… not yet at least. Not until we are sure that…”

“Do you want to marry me?”

“Yes.”

She does. Not a single part of her questions that.

“And I want to marry you.” His fingers play with the edge of the note, flipping it up and down and
creating a crease in the corner. “Things will fall apart or fall together. But either way, I’m falling
with you.”

Her eyes begin to water at her forever teammate.

Before he can move, she launches herself across the top of the table. The chair tips back as they
collide. It feels like they are about to topple backward, but Draco grabs the table's edge and wraps
his hand around her waist to pull the chair back down on the floor.

“Fuck, Gran…” She cuts off his curse with her lips. Dipping her tongue and opening her mouth to
allow him the same access. His hands on her waist squeeze tightly as he breathes in and deepens
their connection.

“Where is it?” She asks, grazing her lips against his.

“What?” He is not paying attention in the slightest as his hand sinks into her curls and drags
against her scalp in a slow and possessive way.

She draws back on his legs to see if there is an indent in one of his pockets.

“Where is the rest of it?”

He looks at her perplexed for a moment. But recognition lights as she picks up the note again and
holds it to her chest. “You… You know?”

She fights not to roll her eyes. Of course she knew. She has known for years about her mother's
ring. It was a complete accident… the first time. The prick had hidden her shoes again, and she
was looking for them everywhere. So when she found an area within the office where she felt his
magic, she broke the charms in place and opened the drawer to find a very familiar opal ring.

Her mother’s ring.

She watched it teeter in the drawer back and forth before reaching toward it. Because the ring… the
ring meant something to her. Always had.

Hermione spent hours trying to remember if she had ever told him. If he understood the
significance of this act when he had done it. But she couldn't remember ever discussing this.
She rests her forehead against Dracos as she smiles innocently.

He lets out an unamused sigh. "Of course you know."

He accios his robes and reaches into the inner pocket.

He raises her hand and slowly places her mother's ring on her finger.

Rings are not a part of the Wizarding World marriage tradition. She knows that. But even after
finding out she was a witch, she always imagined this moment being a part of her future.

A single tear breaks with her blink as he pushes it up to where it belongs, rubbing the opal with his
thumb.

"How? How did you know?"

His finger continues to rub as his eyes glaze over and go somewhere else. "6th year. Right before
everything changed."

"Show me?"

He blinks. "Show you?"

She nods and moves closer into his body. "Show me the memory."

He seems hesitant. "I don't know if that's a good idea with how well…"

"If it becomes too much, you can pull out. I promise. I don't remember this. Please, I want to see."

She kisses him lightly, and he grabs the back of her head to press their foreheads together as he
breathes in heavily.

He closes his eyes and gives her a curt nod before she relaxes into his body. She makes her mind
accessible to him, and she senses the refreshing chill of his magic as her skin goosebumps.

With his magic comes the blurry image and sounds of something. She sees its hazy shape and
moves toward it, diving under the surface to see clearly.

A different Draco comes into focus. He is younger here. In his Slytherin garb with his prefect
badge proudly on display. Looking ill and exhausted in every way. She wants to run forward and
wrap her arms around the breaking boy in front of her, but clipped, hurried steps from behind have
them turning. Younger Draco’s demeanor straightens as soon as she comes around the corner. Her
robe is half on as she pulls her blue knit hat over her head and readjusts her bag's strap.

"Sorry I'm late. Harry needed to talk, and it went longer than expected."

Malfoy tsks and shakes his head. “Not good enough, Granger. 10 points from Gryffindor for
making me late for my rounds.”

Hermione gawks for a moment before raising her chin in defiance and jabbing her finger at him.
“You are the one who sprung this idea of walking with you to discuss our project at the last
minute. Not me. I had to rearrange my whole evening to do this with you. So 10 points from
Slytherin for…”

As she is speaking, he gives her a bored expression before turning around and walking away.
That fire in her is visibly building at his disregard, and she remembers contemplating sending a hex
to the back of his platinum blonde head. Even if it would cost her house points.

“Keep up, Granger. I am already 10 minutes behind my route, and I have no desire to run into the
Weasel.”

She moves to catch up and has to keep a quicker pace than usual to stay beside him due to his long
strides. “You two really created an agreed-upon course that would ensure you covered every inch
of the castle yet not run into one another?”

Malfoy flips his wand in between his fingers as he sinks his other hand into his pocket. “One of the
only good ideas Weasel King has had.”

She rolls her eyes. “Uhh well, I know this has not been signed off, so if it becomes an issue, you
two will have to learn to at least work together. I promise next year, when I am Head Girl, I will
schedule you separately.”

The sides of Malfoy’s mouth drop slightly. “Yes… next year.”

Hermione notices the change in his demeanor and slows her pace as her eyes worryingly scan him.

You are not okay, and I ne... I want you to be okay.

Please, let me help you. Let me pass this divide.

“Malfoy, I…”

“So our project,” he cuts her off, and starts walking even faster than before. “I have an idea, but I
already know you will disagree with it.”

He turns and smirks at her as she blows a loose curl out of her face and opens the parchment from
class.

“Then come up with another idea, or for once, agree with the one I have.”

“Granger, we have been partners six times just this year. You should know by now that I will not
follow you blindly like the two members of your trio.”

They turn down one of the corridors for the classrooms. Hermione isn’t doing rounds tonight, but
she still can’t stop herself from checking every other room between the ones he is. It would also
help him stay on his time schedule.

“I am not asking nor wanting you to follow me blindly. I like the challenge…”

“I know you do.” He states confidently.

“But I swear, sometimes I feel like you disagree just to disagree with me.”

The silver in his eyes flashes as he looks down at her. “And why would I do that?”

She shrugs and hands him her notes to look over as they walk down the stairs. “Because you like
being difficult.”
They walk for a while as he looks over her idea. Even though it is obvious he is tired, he doesn’t
fly through her thoughts. He doesn’t skim it or pretend like Ron and Harry do, giving her a thumbs
up and empty praise, then going along with whatever she laid out. Volunteering for the easiest
work within the project.

Malfoy seems to read and then re-read. Even asking for a quill and writing notes. After a long time,
he finally hands it back.

“It could work, but I don’t think it is the way we should go.”

Of course not…

Here we go again, playing this game.

They exit the castle and start checking the outdoor corridors. Her breath hitches at the unexpected
breeze.

Malfoy seems unaffected, but she feels the warming charm cast around her as they walk down the
trail.

A different kind of warmth spreads in her lower stomach at the gesture. “Thank you. But why
not?”

“Because it is unnecessarily complicated. We already proved our abilities in placing magic within
objects our last partner project earlier this year. And if you don’t recall, we struggled to find an
available object to contain both of our magic.”

She holds the parchment out and points at a section. “No, I already did research this time. I think
we should use a gemstone. They are known for their abilities to hold magic.”

“And you want to use opal.” He moans up to the sky.

“Yes. Because I know opal will work with my magic. And I am sure it will work with yours as
well.”

“How do you know that?”

They walk through the stone arch and down the trail toward the Black Lake. “Because my first
spark of accidental magic is contained in one. I was angry over my parent's unwillingness to share
their rum raisin ice cream with me, and when I stomped my foot, a flash of magic went towards my
mother. Luckily, she moved her hand in time, and my magic was contained within her opal
wedding ring.”

“Wedding ring?”

It takes her a second to register why he is confused.

“Oh, that is right. This is like catching snowflakes. The Wizarding World doesn’t use rings within
their marriage ceremonies, do they?”

Malfoy shakes his head. “No, we don't use rings. There is a ceremony where vows are said and a
magically sealed document given by the Ministry must be signed by the couple and the verified
wizard or witch marrying them. What is the point of the rings?”

She shrugs. “Nothing really. It is just a gesture and a clear indication whether someone is married
or not.”

They climb the hill behind the castle. The clouds are parting and allowing the moon and stars to
brighten the outdoor space. They can see a reasonable distance from here, but everything is still
and quiet.

“So, what is the point of the opal?” He asks.

“All wedding rings aren’t opal. Most women have diamonds.”

“Why does your mother have opal?”

“Because of my namesake.”

"Namesake?”

They don’t need to keep walking the way they are. Even she would cut this corner with the
temperature and the ability to see the space is empty, but she notices Malfoy seems to be slightly
calmer as they walk. Like the outdoor air and the stillness of the night are something he finds
peaceful. And she can’t argue that it isn’t doing the same for her and that deep down, she really
doesn’t desire to end this secret meeting of theirs so soon.

Her finger points up to the constellation.

“You are named after stars. I am named after a story written by Shakespeare that my mother has
been obsessed with since uni. Her favorite story involves a queen named Hermione and an opal
piece of jewelry. So when my father asked her to marry him, he gave her an opal ring. And when
they found out they had a daughter, they named me after the character.”

“And I thought my parents had weird traditions.” He mumbles, but it doesn’t hide the amusement
in his tone.

Hermione smiles and wraps her arms around her tighter. She loves engrossing herself in these
happy memories. In moments before the horrible thing she did. “I love her ring. It holds my first
magic. She assured me that someday she would pass it down to me.”

“Well, how about you ask for it a little early by owl tomorrow? If you can get us that, then I will
agree to your project idea.”

The smile on her face drops in a second. “I can’t.”

“Why not? Just owl them tomorrow. We don’t need it until…”

“Because I can’t, Malfoy!” She screams the words to her and his surprise. Her eyes are burning as
she tries to hide what exactly she is feeling. Right now, he could take it as annoyance, anger, or
anything, but if she spills tears, it will show too much.

She hadn’t even told Harry or Ron what she had done to her parents a couple of months ago.

They were gone.

Forever.
She stomps ahead of him, and this time, he seems to be the one who struggles to keep up. They
patrol the rest of his route together, never addressing her outburst, discussing only their project. He
is set on his idea, and she is set on hers.

By the time they enter the final floor before he finishes and heads to the office to turn in his
paperwork, it is obvious they are not coming to an agreement tonight.

Hermione groans in frustration and moves to put their work away. She winds her bag in front of her
a bit too hard, accidentally smacking into Malfoy, who is standing closer than she thought.

He bends over and lets out a grunt. “Fuck, Granger! You almost smashed my cock with that…”

She swats his shoulder at his crass language. Her cheeks heat in a telling way.

“Don’t use that word, Malfoy.”

His gaze fixes on her reddening cheeks, and a smile slowly forms on his face. “You sure about
that? Would you rather me use dick, or penis, or wan…”

She hits him again. Contemplating a repeat performance of 3rd year as she sets her eyes on his
nose. “You are insufferable, you know that? This whole night, and we didn’t get anywhere. We
will discuss this more tomorrow.”

She moves to walk away, but his hand grabs her again. And once more, she freezes at the contact
and the weird sensations it brings.

“Listen, I know this doesn’t really make sense, but… this weekend, I have something for you…”

“Blimey hell!” The sound of Ron’s frustration travels up to them, and Malfoy’s arm tenses on hers.
She giggles lightly at the hard lines that appear on the blonde’s face at the sound of her friend.

She gently pulls her arm out of his and starts to step back. “You better hurry. I know you don’t like
it when he beats you to turn in paperwork.”

The memory gets hazy and moves out of her vision as the younger her walks away. The younger
Draco continues to stare after her and pulls out what seems to be tickets from his pocket before he
sighs and turns around for the office.

Hermione blinks as he exits her mind, meeting his silver baring into her. His hand wipes away the
wetness from her cheeks but stays and caresses the skin.

“And you remembered?”

“I remember everything.” He holds her hand and kisses up to the ring, letting his mouth linger on
the object. “You are not mad? I didn’t know whether I should have taken it when Theo and I went
to…”

“No. She… she would want me to have it.” The ring fits her finger perfectly. Like it is exactly
where it was meant to end up. A piece of their story, now combined with her own.

She smiles through kissing him again, and she feels his mouth doing the same.

“We are getting married.” He whispers, shaking his head. “I had a lot of dreams dealing with you,
but I never was brave enough to dream this.”

“No, you were brave enough to do what was needed to make this our reality.”
One of these days, you will believe these words yourself. That is my goal.

She jumps off his lap and pulls him toward the front door. “Let’s go tell them.”

He follows her through the front garden and into Theo and Ginny’s house. Neither of them knocks.
Theo had the horrible habit of never knocking on their door, so Draco always ensured he returned
the favor.

She drags him into the kitchen to see Theo focusing on his book records of his close friends, with
Ginny looking over his shoulder as Freddy sucks on one of her fingers.

As they barge in, both of them look up. Ginny seems confused, but Hermione can see as Theo
looks at Draco and then her hand that he understands.

“Thank Merlin! About time!” Theo jumps out of his chair and wraps her in a hug before turning to
Draco and squeezing his shoulder.

He glances back at her and quirks his head. “See. I told you he wouldn’t be a brunette.”

Hermione laughs at the reference from years ago.

“I’m still lost. What are we congratulating again?” Ginny asks, trying to pull her pinky out of
Freddy's mouth.

“We are getting married!” Hermione squeals in the girliest way that has her wanting to roll her eyes
at herself, but damn it, she is giddy. Down to the bone, giddy.

Ginny does a jump and hands Freddy over to Theo before wrapping them both in an embrace. “I
still think you can do better than this prick, Hermione. But if you are happy.”

Draco glares at her, but there is no heat behind it as Ginny laughs.

Theo moves Freddy to his other hip and places his notebook back into his robe pocket.

“Okay, you two go change and meet us at the pond in…” He looks over at Draco. “You will take
at least an hour to get ready. So an hour it is!”

He bounces Freddy on his hip as he accios his healing kit over.

All of them watch in confusion as he unclips the front inner pocket and pulls out a few pieces of
parchment. "And I will go write my speech."

"Your speech? Theo, what are you talking about?" Draco asks.

"What, you think someone else is marrying you?! I kept you two bloody sociopaths alive and from
killing each other way too many times to have anyone else do this."

Hermione sees a similar expression of shock on Draco's face as she looks up at him. "Nott, you
can't marry us. For it to be legal, we need someone who has..."

"Who has been certified by the Ministry. You do remember I actually am married, right? I am
familiar with the proceedings..."

As he is speaking and starting to walk backward, Theo floats a form into Draco's hands. Hermione
moves to read it and quickly sees what Theo has done.
As she opens her mouth, Theo accios another set of forms into their hands.

"Oh, and before you say you haven't filed for your marriage documentation, I did that as well.
Down to 57 minutes!"

Hermione scans the forms and signatures to see Theo is speaking the truth. These forms are
authorized. All they needed was to be signed.

She turns back to Draco and hands him the sheets. "Did you tell Theo and..."

"No. I didn't. None of this was planned, so Nott, how did you know I would ask..."

"I didn't." Theo brings out a set of adorable dress robes for Freddy and hands them to Ginny. "I
went through the verification process back when we were there for our own marriage stuff. And I
have been re-filing your marriage certificate every month since. Just so we were ready, if the scary
blonde ever got the nerve to ask. 54 minutes.”

Instead of arguing, like she knows Draco wants, she drags him out of the room and back over to
their house.

We are getting married! Married today!

She can’t stop the smile on her face as she runs into their closet to find something to wear.

Instead of going over to her side, she moves in front of his. Looking over his selection. If they let
him choose, there is no way he would be ready in 50 minutes.

“What are you doing?”

She throws the suit and dress robes at him. “Picking out your wedding attire. I love that suit on
you.”

He smirks and places his clothes on a chair. “Well, then I get to pick out yours.”

Draco stands in front of her collection and pulls out an option she knows has to be a joke.

Her mouth drops open at the sight of his jersey. “Absolutely not, Draco!”

“Kidding, Granger. But maybe later tonight…” He winks and places it back before pulling out a
long body-hugging dress she bought for Daphne’s wedding that she hadn’t worn due to the weather
being colder than anticipated.

Draco waves his wand, changing the color from the beige into a dark emerald green before
throwing it over to her.

Hermione rolls her eyes but doesn’t change the color as she grabs the other items she needs and
begins to walk out of the room.

“Where are you going?” He asks, following close behind.

“To get ready in another room. Like a proper wedding.” She turns and stands on her tiptoes to kiss
his cheek. “I’ll see you at the pond in 45 minutes.”
He tries to grab her again, but she moves out of reach and laughs as she runs into the guest room
and shuts the door.

She is ready in 20 minutes.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror.

Making sure the slick material of the green dress lays seamlessly.

Writing out the words.

Waiting for some extreme feeling she thought she would have on her wedding day, but it never
comes.

Because everything about this makes sense to her.

She hears the door shut down the hall and waits a few minutes before leaving the room.

The others can be heard through the open kitchen window as she walks to the front door.

Her fingers twirl her mother’s ring repeatedly as Ginny comes up.

"Last chance to run…" She whispers.

Hermione smiles and takes Freddy from her so she can fix her dress sleeve that is falling down.

"Will you be the man to walk me down the aisle, Freddy?" She speaks quietly into his cheek as he
releases a string of coos before she turns back to his mother. "Like you could leave Theo. Plus,
where are we running to?"

Ginny shrugs as they keep walking toward their two men. "I'll come to get Teddy later. I'm serious;
my broom is right over there. Say the word, and we can…"

"I love him, Ginny."

Draco is looking at her in the same way he was in the memory he showed her earlier. Yet this time,
instead of walking away, she is walking toward him.

Toward her future.

"Yeah… I know you do."

Hermione thanks Freddy for walking her before handing him back. His mouth finds his mum's hair
immediately.

She stands across from her wizard, and he grabs her hands as he takes her in.

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look handsome.”

Theo clears his throat dramatically to grab their attention from one another.

"Okay, I really don't have a speech. Thought we would keep it quick since Draco has a history of
being quick with…"

"Nott." Draco glares at Theo for a reason Hermione does not follow. Theo gives him a half-smile.
"I'll keep that to myself since it is your wedding day."

Keep what to himself?

She doesn't get a chance to ask as Theo starts speaking.

She probably should be listening or taking it in, but Hermione doesn’t hear anything as Theo
continues.

All she is taking in is his silver eyes.

His cool, refreshing hands.

His beautiful hair.

His smile portraying his happiness.

Because he is happy. He is here in front of her. All of him. No walls. No occluding. No switches.
No the other her.

It is him and her.

Gold and silver.

When Theo asks if they would like to say anything to one another, Hermione pulls the small note
out of her dress.

“I… thought I would write you a note this time.”

His eyes flash as he takes it. It is not a long note, but he reads it repeatedly for a couple of minutes
before meeting her eyes and taking her hand.

Instead of saying anything, he starts tapping his index finger against her skin in a pattern.
Hermione follows it, putting the pieces together. Following the letters, that turn into words, that
turn into more.

She is crying uncontrollably by the time he is done tapping.

I love this man so much.

“I am guessing you're not going to tell us, right?” Theo cuts in. Hermione wipes her face as Draco
squeezes Theo’s shoulder and grabs the marriage documents.

Theo scoffs before handing him the quill. “You two and your bloody secrets. Sign at the bottom,
and it will be official.”

Draco signs quickly before handing her the quill. Hermione writes out her first and middle name,
but before she can write her last, Draco grabs her wrist and stops her.

“What?”

“Add.”
As soon as he says it, she knows what he means.

I love all of you with all of me, Draco Malfoy.

Thank you.

The quill meets paper.

Hermione Jean Granger-Malfoy.

Draco

Seven months later

Draco opens the door to nothing but silence.

A very unfitting situation over the last year at the Nott residence.

“Nott!” He yells. Listening to his voice reverberate off of the crisp stone walls of the home.

“The loo!” His brother yells.

Draco slings the nappy bag over his shoulder and walks toward the voice.

The door to the lavatory is half-open, and he can hear a large splash of water from inside.

“Shi!.. I mean… Shoot. Captain Langster Hughes orders you to keep the water in the…”

SPLASH

“Freddy, stop splashing papa right…”

SPLASH

Draco opens the door to see Freddy smashing his chubby arms into the water repeatedly. His high-
pitched giggle as he watches his father stand abruptly at another onslaught of water makes Draco
crack a grin.

“For fuck sake’s…” Theo mumbles as he takes in his dripping work attire.

“Language, Nott.” His brother jerks his head toward him, and relief travels all over his expression.
“Don’t tell Ginevra. I thought the hardest thing to give up would be smoking, but Molly is adamant
he said bas…” Theo turns his gaze toward his son, sitting up amid all the bubbles and water. He is
sucking on something yellow, his teeth sinking into the item as he giggles up at his father. “B-A-S-
T-A-R-D the other day. I don’t believe it. It was probably gibberish. But I don’t want my child
swearing like a sailor. Even if he is my first mate.”

Draco pulls out his wand and casts the spell to dry Theo’s robes. Freddy notices him in the
doorway, and he starts rocking back and forth in excitement.

“Hey, bud. Glad to see you too.”

“Uppy!” His little arms reach for him, still holding onto the yellow object.

“What is he chewing on?” Draco gestures.

“The rubber duck Arthur gave us a while back.” Theo shrugs and reaches for a towel as Freddy
gnaws on the animal's beak. “Never found out what it is actually for, but Freddy is obsessed with it
as a bath toy.”
“Whatever works, right?” Draco takes the towel and pulls the drain out of the tub. Freddy’s dark,
auburn hair is sticking up in multiple spikes he is sure Theo had designed for him. He grabs the
cup and rinses the soap out of it, watching the points flatten under his hand. Tilting the boy’s head
to ensure no water gets into his eyes.

We all know how much you hate that, don’t we, bud?
“Ha, yeah. He has been putting Molly’s protective charms to the test ever since he started walking.
Placing everything in his mouth lately. The other day I caught him chewing on the plaque for the
grandfather clock you broke with your morning demeanor.”

Draco wraps the child in the towel as Theo pulls out his stopwatch and groans.

“Shi… Shucks, I was supposed to be at work 10 minutes ago. Ginevra should be done with practice
in an hour. Is it okay if she meets you at the housing facility?”

Draco nods as he jostles Freddy’s hair with the towel, making the child giggle and try for the
cloth.

Theo stares at the two of them for a moment, hesitating to leave. “I guess I have to go…”

Draco smirks and tosses his healing kit from the counter. “If we want to save my wife, then yes.”

His brother nods, and he slings the bag on his shoulder. He kisses his son’s cheek four times before
he pulls back and begins to leave. “Okay, don’t let him eat the mulch around the…”

“I know.”

“And make sure Minerva doesn’t sneak him a chocolate frog, or he won’t nap at…”

“I know.”

“And if you take him outside, make sure to cast a protective charm over his skin if it is sunny
and…”

“Theo.” Draco glares at him. He and Granger watched the child all the time. This was not a new
situation, but Theo always gave speeches like this to those watching his son.

Theo flips his hair to the left as he nods his head. “Yeah, I know. You’re right. Need to stop
hovering. Okay, I’ll let you know if our potion is ready. Papa will see you in a bit, okay?”

The child in Draco’s arm is paying no attention to either of them as he tries to pull off the S.P.E.W
pin from his robes.

Theo stares at him for another couple of seconds before finally walking out of the room.

Now that they are finally alone, Draco bounces Freddy on his hip before setting him on the
counter.

He wiggles his finger right under the child’s arm to make the most addictive noise come out of his
little bud again. Freddy laughs with his whole face. So many creases appear as his chubby cheeks
move up and make his eyes squint with the action.

They call it his blinding laugh. Taking away his eyes from the world due to his joy. Since he
started walking a few months back, Draco has noticed that more of his eyes were visible. Like the
chub in his cheeks was disappearing with the increase in mobility.

I hate it.

I hate it so much.
“Hey, can you make a deal with your Uncle Draco?” Freddy rocks again as he raises his arm to
give Draco access to continue his tickle. He gives him what he wants before continuing. “Can you
stop growing up on us? Deal?”

The boy nods his head in agreement as he smacks his lips together for a reason Draco does not
understand.

He slips on his clothes and places him back on his hip as he walks to the Floo. Granger had left
before he came over to get Freddy. Working with Minerva on the curriculum to go alongside her
published archives of the Second Wizarding War.

Draco wraps his robes around Freddy protectively as he steps into the green flames and floos into
Minerva’s private office at the new school.

The old estate was working out nicely as a temporary educational facility. At first, Minerva said the
students struggled with the new layout and surroundings, but as kids tended to do, they adapted
quickly and were making it their own as time went on.

The two women look up from the documents they are bent over as he and Freddy enter. Draco
tosses at his hair to rid the few embers stuck in his waves but struggles as Freddy tries to wiggle
out of his arms.

“Down! Down!” He cries out as he arches his back and pushes off his chest.

Draco huffs and gives in to the little boy as he continues to squirm. He places him on the ground
and watches with dismay as he tottles over to the desk with more balance than a few days ago.

I really, really hate this.

“Mine! Mine! Mine!”

Granger grins down at the name Freddy created for her over the past two months.

A name Draco was letting go.

Being possessive toward a one-year-old seemed wrong.

As he looks up, he notices the desktop has more than the pile of books and parchment scattered on
its surface.

It has a person on it.

A little person.

A little girl.

“Who’s that?” The little girl points toward Freddy as Granger swoops him up onto her lap and
pretends to eat his cheeks.

“This is Freddy. Freddy, can you say hi to Leah?”

Instead of a hello, he lets out a long string of spit bubbles.

Leah.

Draco doesn’t know that name. He had memorized the names of all the children within the housing
facility. He memorized their entire files, their backgrounds, their parents' names, where they grew
up, their ages, etc.

All to make sure… To be positive, he hadn’t…

He gulps loudly, and his internal dilemma must be on display as Minerva comes up beside him and
places a gentle hand on his arm.

“She lost her parents a month ago. A tragic accident. Do not worry. They were not war casualties.”
Draco barely gets a nod out at her whispered words.

Feeling the relief in his blood as Leah meets his eyes. He can look at her now. Her dirty-blonde
hair is long. Long to the point some is stuck under her knee and keeps her head from following
Freddy as he waddles over to the bookshelf. Making her raise her leg and push her hair back to
keep her eyes on him. She also has a button nose and big eyes that seem to be a mix of green and
blue.

But what Draco can’t take his eyes from is the long scar jutting from under her shirt, up her neck,
and disappearing under her hair. It hadn’t been visible until she pulled her hair back, but now, he
can see it.

It looks new. The skin is still an irritated pink, and the scar seems to be raised. Leah grabs at her
hair and pulls it over the area as he is thinking this. Patting it down three times before letting her
hand rest again.

“From the accident. She is still working through her loss.” Minerva whispers again as she hands
him Leah’s file. “She arrived a few days ago. As you know, we do not have many children under
the age of four here, so she has taken to spending most of her time in my office with me.”

He opens the file and scans the basic information:

Leah O’Dair. Halfblood. Born to Richard O’Dair and Susan O’Dair on the 6th of October.

She will be three this year. So about a year and a half older than Freddy.

Her parents died due to a malfunctioning portkey that splintered them. When they landed at their
destination, passersby's acted quickly enough to save her, but not her parents. Rather than the scar
and a tiny missing section of her ear, the only long-term effects listed are emotional and mental.

“Have you told Theo about her?”

Minerva shakes her head as Leah plops off the table and follows a good distance behind Freddy as
he lumbers throughout the space without a care in the world. He places too much weight onto one
leg and teeters to the side, but before he knocks his head into the table, Leah grabs his arm and
helps him stay upright. Freddy finally notices her presence and smiles his teeth-filled, eye-
disappearing smile at her.
Draco sees her mouth quirk and her eyes grow bigger before she blinks and steps back from the
boy, rubbing her hands on her shirt. She turns back to them tentatively, like she may have done
something wrong.

“Sorry,” she says weakly. “Falling hurts.”

He intentionally meets Granger's eyes.

She isn’t even three yet…

“No need to apologize, Leah. Like I said earlier, you are a great helper. And Freddy could use a
friend to help him. If you want to, that is?”

The child’s solemn face lights up at Granger’s praise and acknowledgment. Without another word,
she turns around, grabs Freddy’s hand, and strolls alongside him as he continues his trek for
something none of them know.

“I am going to be your friend, Freddy. You won’t fall now, I promise. Do you want to color with
me? Ms. Mickey just gave me new crayons!”

Freddy watches her talk, and he responds with a few broken words that don’t make a sentence, but
Leah nods like she understands.

Draco bends to give his witch a kiss before looking back to Minerva. “Mickey?”

She tosses her hand flippantly. “She is two, Mr. Malfoy. She struggles with names.”

“We are almost finished. Why don’t you see if they want to go outside? Minerva says Leah won’t
step outdoors without an adult close by.” Granger suggests.

He sets Leah’s file down and makes a mental note to have Theo come by soon to see the girl. He
knows his brother is busy with the innovative work they are collaborating on to hopefully help
Granger, being promoted to the Director of St. Mungo’s, and running the educational
apprenticeship program. But he also knows Theo and knows he would put all that aside for a
person in dire need.

Especially a child.

Draco grabs the crayons and parchment as Granger kneels to the ground in front of the children.
“Would you want to go outside with Freddy and my husband, Leah?”

He can feel the child’s eyes burning into him, lingering on his marked areas as he did hers. The
tattoo that gives him the most problems is hidden by his shirt sleeve, but the one on his neck is on
display, as is the one on Grangers.

“Only if you want to.” His wife assures. “You can sit and continue to help me with these lessons if
not.”

The little girl makes a clicking noise with her tongue three times before answering. “No, I’ll go
with my new friend.”

Minerva beams at the pair as Leah moves them toward the door, and Draco places the crayons and
parchment into the nappy bag.

“I think having someone younger around would be good for her. Feel free to bring the child with
you whenever you can.”

“We will talk to Ginny and Theo, but I don’t think that will be a problem,” Granger responds.

When the children are out of earshot, Draco opens her file again. “Any other forks I should be
aware of besides being outside alone?”

“Forks?”

Neither of them answers their old professor’s question as Granger nods and hands him her quill.
“Minerva says she cannot have her hair pulled back. No matter how windy or in the way it is. Do
not suggest it.”

Draco nods and writes it down along with the outdoor stipulation.

“Don’t mention the word dinner or bring up the meal. She will not eat after 5 p.m.”

He doesn’t ask questions, just writes them down.

“And don’t interrupt her three’s. Not one I feel you will struggle to remember.”

He finishes writing as he hears the pair in the hallway, but he can no longer see them.

“There could be more since she has not been with us long. If you notice any, please write them
down. I know some of the younger girls have been causing some issues.”

A chill takes over his body as he imagines what kind of issues Minerva was referring to. Probably
similar issues that Theo had to endure from Flint.

Glad I killed that fucker every day.

“I will.” He grazes his lips against his wife’s again before going after the kids.

Four older children are running down the hall, and the noise of others discussing the recent
Quidditch matches can be heard as he follows after the tiny humans.

The older children give him a hesitant gesture of recognition before moving past. Most of them
knew who he was. Either from the newspapers, the history of his name, or his continuous presence
here at the school.

Not that he will ever admit it, but he does enjoy coming here. Rather than their privately warded
estate, it was the only place where he felt it was easy to breathe.

They reach a set of three stairs, and while Freddy has every intention of conquering the obstacle,
Draco would rather get the two outside instead of standing here for an hour watching him play up
and down the steps.

Theo had to place disillusionment charms over every staircase in their home two weeks ago so the
child wouldn’t throw a fit when they made him stop climbing up and down. Theo was not in
support of the action in the first place, but he reached a compromise with Red by placing
cushioning charms all around the boy as he climbed and also sitting less than a few feet away with
his healing kit and wand within reach.

Leah is still holding his hand, ignorant to the obsessiveness that would ensue if they allowed him
to clamber up on his own.

“Not today, bud,” Draco says before grabbing the child and throwing him in the air before catching
him. Trying to draw his attention away from the steps. Leah seems uncomfortable with Draco’s
closeness and moves to create more distance between them. He extends his hand into the space as
he kneels in front of her.

Be soft.

Remember.

Be soft with her.

“Olivia, right?”

Obviously, he knows her name. But he also knows he is a very tall man with scars and tattoos.
Plus, he was a stranger. Most children kept away from him. He knew he was not welcoming or
warm like Granger and Theo. The children here never ran to him in excitement at his presence like
they do the two of them, and also Red, but he knows she bribes them with treats. But Leah… Leah
he wants to bridge that gap if she is open to it. Just from the quick file he read over, the girl already
had enough to fear. He didn’t want to be added to that list.

Her button nose scrunches in distaste. “No, that isn’t my name. It is Leah.”

“Oh, my apologies Lyra.”

“LEAH!”

Draco groans dramatically up toward the ceiling. “Sorry again, I have trouble remembering
people’s names like you do, apparently.”

She chuckles at him. “You call people silly names.”

“I do?”

Leah nods and points to Freddy, who had quietly and connivingly made his way to the first step
without Draco noticing.

Little Slytherin…

“His name is Freddy, but you call him bud. And you called Her… Her…” Leah grimaces as she
struggles to get his witch’s name right. “Herm..oon…y. You called her Granger.”
“And you called Headmistress McGonagall, Mickey.”

She seems to think that over for a moment, realizing that yes, she did do the same thing he did.

“My name is a hard one to remember too.”

“What is it?” She asks.

“Draco.”

Leah giggles again. “That is a funny name!”

Draco feigns insult and clutches the skin over his heart, which makes her giggle turn into a laugh.
Her head tilts with the noise that continues to grow. Draco watches as she seems to let go of
something within herself and show more than she had since he walked in. Just as his own smile
takes over his face, the hair against her right side falls behind her shoulder. Leah jerks forward
immediately and rushes to cover the scarred area with her hair again.

Pressing the strands down.

One, two, three.

The bile in Draco’s throat burns.

You are a child.

You shouldn’t have to hide or protect anything yet.

You shouldn’t have to carry that knowledge of the world yet.

To break the awkward silence and make her feel safe again, Draco extends his hand once more.
“How about I call you El? Easier for me to remember. Plus, I tend to give all my friends different
names.”

“You want to be friends?”

The question startles Draco. He had expected the child to be cautious of him, not that her caution
was for his sake.

“I would like that. You can call me a special name too if you want.”

“What do your other friends call you?”

Prick, Ferret, Frosty, Cockroach… Yeah, those names are not appropriate for her.

Fucking arseholes.

“A lot of people call me by my last name, Malfoy. That is what my wife used to call me. I’m not
sure if that is any easier, though.”
He turns and grabs Freddy, who starts screaming as soon as he is taken away from his stairs. Draco
dips his hand into his pocket and pulls out two chocolate frogs. Handing one to Freddy and one to
El. He would blame it on Minerva if Freddy didn’t nap later.

He hands Leah the chocolate and starts to walk toward the back door, but he flinches when her
little hand stays in his.

He doesn’t look down or treat this as abnormal. Instead, he folds his hand around hers and leads the
two outside.

“Malfoy is your last name? Why does your wife’s not match?”

Draco opens the door and lets her lead them out at the pace she is comfortable with. Her hand in his
shakes slightly as she stares at the vast fields of the estate.

This all may be too big if it is all she focuses on.

“Her last name is a combination of her parent’s and my name. She added to hers instead of taking
anything away.”

“But, you are a family. You should match.”

Draco shrugs as he sits down at the table, leading El to sit in the chair with a wall behind her,
allowing her to see her entire surroundings and cutting off access from behind.

Draco had been in enough environments he didn’t feel safe to understand the peace within a secure
viewpoint.

“Who says? The family I matched with wasn’t very nice. I chose a different family.” He says as he
smiles down at Freddy in his arms.

He pulls out the parchment and crayons. One rolls across the surface, and Freddy reaches and
automatically starts chewing at the paper wrapping. El is still working on her chocolate frog as she
starts picking through the assortment of colors. Being precise as she chooses three to line up
straight next to her paper.

Freddy’s frog is long gone. His little bud gobbled it up in two bites. Remnants of the treat can be
seen in the creases of his cheeks and on the crayon in his mouth.

He smiles up at Draco like he is doing nothing wrong. “Da… Da... Ghssshhh.”

Like with Granger, Freddy created a name for him as well as he longed to communicate more
while still struggling to accomplish the skill.

His chosen name for him: Da.

It didn’t really create any issues with Theo, as Freddy’s second word had been papa. His name for
his father and best friend.

Followed closely with mum. Which was screamed in joy as he watched her fly above them, making
a loop on her broom.

No one had won the bet of what his first word would be when the little bloke let out a clear ‘spork’
in the middle of lunch a few months ago.

“Freddy doesn’t match you either.” She says a bit harshly as she starts to draw.
“What do you mean?” Draco asks. Not following her train of thought.

El points to the top of his head and then to Freddy’s. “You have white hair. He has brown.”

“Families don’t have to match. Plus, my hair is blonde.”

She laughs at that. The little girl seems to laugh at a lot of things he says that he doesn't mean to be
funny. Reminding him of another witch.

She points to her head. “My hair is blonde! Your hair is white.”

“Blonde.”

“White.”

Am I really arguing with a two-year-old right now?

He opens his mouth to speak again, but she cuts him off by holding up a white crayon next to his
head. “See! They match!”

Fuck, they really do.

He tries to phane his annoyance, but it seems she enjoys his grumpy demeanor as she giggles again
and starts drawing on her parchment.

“You like things that match, don’t you?”

She nods without looking up from what seems to be a face she is creating. Draco slides a piece over
to Freddy, but instead of drawing, he starts to chew on the corner.

“I like numbers.”

“Numbers?”

He nods. “There are 233 trees within the property. 307 rooms within the estate. 89 children within
the housing facility. 848 students within the school. It will take me 63 steps to get past the anti-
apparition wards. 97 to get back to Granger if she is still where we left her. You have 24 crayons,
23 if Freddy has his way with the red one in his mouth.”

Draco takes the crayon from him and replaces it with the parchment as he notices pieces of the red
wax stuck between his couple of teeth.

“I like numbers a lot. They make me feel better. Do things that match make you feel better?"

The little girl clicks her tongue three times and stares down at her drawing. Instead of answering,
she slides her paper over for him to see. The drawing is not good. Because she is two and drawing a
face was something many people didn’t learn how to do well during their whole lives.

One circle that he thinks is supposed to be an eye is much higher than the other. And the mouth
that isn’t a smile or a frown is closer to the edge of one side of the face.

“Things should match. If they don’t match, something is wrong. Bad… bad things happen.” She
whispers as she flips the paper over to hide her drawing. Touching her hair against the right side of
her face, making sure the area is covered.

Protected.

Ensuring the 'bad' is hidden.

Yes. Bad things do happen, but she shouldn’t have such powerful first-hand knowledge of that. It
had been an unspoken agreement amongst all of them to protect Freddy from that side of reality.
They knew the little boy would inevitably learn the hard lessons of the world at some point.
Hopefully, not to the extent and experience the four of them had to endure. But they were doing
everything they could to ensure he was given a childhood full of ignorance and innocence. The
way a childhood should be. A childhood that Leah has already been robbed of.

It’s not fair.

“They can.” Her eyebrows raise in surprise at his honesty. “But you know what? Your crayons
don’t all match, do they? If colors matched, we would only have one color, and while I personally
think green is the only color that truly matters, our world would be pretty dull if everything was
green, don’t you think? What would you be able to color then?”

El is silent for a while as she places the rest of the crayons in a line. Making sure the bottoms and
tops all match. “That would be boring. I could only draw green faces. Everybody would look
sick.”

Draco smiles as he pulls out her file and uses the crayon Freddy had destroyed to write down more
to the list. “It is okay to like things to match. Just like it is okay that I like my numbers, but it is
okay if sometimes I lose count. Just like it is okay if everything doesn’t match all the time.”

“The other girls make fun of me. They say I’m weird. Do you think I’m weird?”

He puts down the crayon to look her directly in the eyes. “No. Do you think I’m weird for liking
numbers?”

She quirks her mouth to the side in a way Draco is learning is a tell that she is about to say
something cheeky. “Kind of.”

Draco gives her a deadpanned expression as she laughs at him again.

“But I like it!”

“Well, you better if we are going to be friends. Because it isn’t changing.”

“And it's okay with you that I… I am different too? That I don’t really match?”

Fuck El, you're breaking my heart.

“You be whoever you need and want to be. It is enough, I promise you. And if some people say it
isn’t, those aren’t people you want as friends anyway. Those are mean people.”

A movement to the left of her head draws his attention. Granger and Red are both standing there,
watching them from a distance. From the expression on Granger’s face, he assumes she has heard
some of the conversation.

He nods his head to show them it is okay to join them.

Draco leans forward. “My friend is coming over right now. Is that okay?”

Leah turns around, and her face brightens as she spots Granger.

He likes this little girl more and more.

“That isn’t your friend! That is your wife!”

Draco casts a quick spell to hide the evidence of the treat from Freddy’s face. “She is both.”

“Is the other lady your friend?”

He fights not to scoff at the question. “She is… family.”

That is the best title I can give her.

Family with a fucking former Weasley…

Freddy must notice his mum walking toward them as he lets out a happy screech and starts
bouncing in his lap. Red picks up her pace and grabs her son, twirling him around before squeezing
him tightly. “Oh, I missed you! Why do you look like you grew another inch while I was gone,
huh? How, How?” She repeats the question as she jostles him, and he giggles.

Granger sits down next to Draco. “Ginny, this is Leah. Leah, this is my good friend, Ginny. She is
Freddy’s mum.”

Red shoots Leah a wave as she sits down and cuddles her son, who is eating the affection up and
nuzzling into her chest.

Leah pulls her eyebrows together at him. “Friend? I thought you said she was your family?”

Oh fuck.

He closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the amusement on Red’s face at Leah’s betrayal.

“I’m your family, huh?” Red says with a knowing tone. She is never letting this go. “But yes, we
are family. You can make friends family if you want. He is my husband’s best friend. You will
meet him soon; he is on his way.”

That gets his attention. Ginny smirks and holds up a galleon between two fingers before sliding it
back into her pocket.

“She uses it to fluster him during work, I guess.” Granger whispers as she reaches for Leah’s file
and opens it. “But she sent him a message once I explained.”

Draco shakes his head and sees Leah staring at Ginny’s finger. Her eyes move from the hand to
Granger’s neck, then lastly, to him. He gives her a reassuring smile. Knowing what she is probably
thinking, but not feeling comfortable with the people present to express it.

“Do you like to swing, Leah? I was going to take Freddy over if you want to join us?” Red offers as
she stands up and places Freddy on her hip. Leah does her three clicks before slowly nodding and
moving to follow.

Granger lets out a breathy laugh at the sight of his crayon notes as she reads. “So matching?”

Draco sighs. “Yes, let Minerva know to have her things matching. Especially proportion sizes or
how things are organized. Anything to do with appearance.”

Her face falls as she puts the pieces together why this must be an issue. “Minerva says the other
children are…”

“Yes, El told me.”

“El?” Granger asks, perplexed.

He is about to respond when Leah’s voice makes him stop.

“Draco, can… can you come with me?”

His body does something weird at her request. She is standing a few feet away, waiting for him.

“Of course.”

Granger’s eyes widen as he stands and moves over to the little girl. As soon as he gets close
enough, she grabs his hand and pulls him over to the swings. Like this is the most normal thing in
the world.

His hands are sweating.

Why are my hands sweating?

Why do I feel so fucking nervous all of a sudden?

Because a child has decided to see him as a safe space, he assumes.

Him.

Draco Malfoy, a person a little girl finds safety in.

What utter ridiculousness.

She wouldn’t think him safe if she knew who he had been.
He was safe for only a few people at the risk of all others.

For his family.

As they are walking, Theo comes through the door and moves toward them, giving his wife
pushing their child a huge grin along the way.

“El, this is Theo. He is Freddy’s father. Theo, this is Leah.”

Theo steps back and waves as he lowers to her eye level. “Hi, Leah. You may hear the other
children call me Healer Nott, but you are special, so you can call me Theo.”

“Why am I special?”

“Because I heard that you are my son's friend and that you helped protect him from getting hurt
when I wasn’t around. Anyone who looks after someone I love like that is special to me.”

She lights up at Theo’s genuine words until he runs his hand through his hair to move the waves
out of his eye. Draco is confused at the drop in her expression until he realizes the hand Theo had
used.

Theo, though, picks up on it right away. Probably something he deals with daily.

“Oh, this missing thing…” He holds up his hand and shows off the empty spot.

“She has it.” Leah says as she points over to Ginny, pushing Freddy in a swing.

“Yes, she does. Very observant of you, Leah.” Theo praises again.

“Why does she have it?”

He shrugs. “Because she needed it.”

“But…” She stops herself and seems to struggle to say what she is thinking.

“But it doesn’t match, huh?” Draco finishes for her. She nods as she clicks and averts her eyes.

Theo rubs the back of his neck. “Sometimes things don’t match anymore when we try to put them
back together. It may not be everything it once was, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be good.”

A loud screech from Freddy has them all looking behind them. He is walking over as fast as he can
toward Theo. Repeating papa over and over again. His joy is cut off as he falls on his bum due to
his desire for speed over balance.

Leah gasps and leaves Draco’s side to get to Freddy. “I’m coming, Freddy! Hold on!”

She runs away, and Theo stands as they watch the two.

Granger takes hold of his hand, still covered in a cold sweat.

“She isn’t even three.” He knows they will understand.

It was too young. Too hard to see the proof that no matter what they did, or wrote, or said, unfair
things would happen. That it was out of their control.

“We can build her file. Figure out the best plan of how people should care for her.”
“I want to help.”

Their surprise is warranted. He never helped with this part of the housing facility.

“Really?” Granger asks.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He doesn’t really know, so he doesn’t answer. Theo lets it go as his son comes up and wraps
himself around his leg. Leah moves to stand close to Draco again. But he knows his wife, and he
knows the look she is giving him.

A look that is proof they have reached a point where he can honestly say she may know him better
than even he does.

Theo

9 months later

"And then we have the unicorn horn dust, not too much. Too much can turn it from violet to almost
black. Then elderberry root. We don't have to be as exact and…"

"Joomiper."

Theo stops pouring the base into the cauldron. Or he tries to, at least, but the little hands helping
him pour don't allow the container to stop. He places his hands over his sons to right it before
looking up at him.

"What was that, Freddy?"

There is no way he heard him correctly. Theo hadn’t even realized he was listing off the potion
ingredients aloud until Freddy chimed in, taking him out of his head.

His son reaches for the small box on the other side of the apothecary table. He holds it out in front
of him with the label facing Theo.

"Joomiper!"

Holy shit.
Theo’s mouth hangs open as his son places the box in his hand. Because he is right.

The next item they need for the potion is, in fact, Juniper grass.

“Tha… That’s right. How did you know that?”

“You told me,” Freddy says simply as he peers into the cauldron starting to overflow with steam.
The moisture dampens the wave of hair falling over his face.

The poor boy had acquired his thick head of hair. His skin was also like Theo’s, tanner in
complexion. But it was soft and untainted like his wicked witch, and Freddy also had her beautiful
paint-splattered markings scattered on his nose and shoulders.

His eyes are all Theo, though. To Ginevra’s delight. A deep green that gets lighter toward the iris.
Soft, gentle eyes that don’t always match the fiery words leaving the little boy. Because while he
may resemble Theo on the outside, his personality was much more like his mother's.

Snappy.

Quick with the wit and unhindered from honesty.

They were exhausting, the pair, but Theo would choose no other way to live than to always be
striving to keep up with the two of them.

“That is very impressive, pal.” He rustles his hair, and Freddy groans and tries to swat his hand
away.

“Papa, stop!”

Theo laughs as he grabs the box, and Freddy pours in the exact amount of the ingredients they
need.

He loved bringing him to work with him, had been ever since he was two months old and Theo
walked in with him strapped to his chest for the first time.

Because leaving him was impossible at the beginning for Theo.

He hardly slept the first few months of his son’s life. Staring at the diagnostic charm he kept up at
all times to ensure he was still breathing. He had tried working from home or on the days when he
had no choice but to head into the healing center, begging Ginevra to join him with their son.

Because what if something happened while he was gone? What if he needed protection, and Theo
wasn’t there? What if he failed at the most important job of his life?

His obsession with his safety was a problem. It was extreme. He knew that. He could feel it in the
way the weight would press against his chest if Freddy was out of his sight for more than an hour.
He could recognize it in the way his mind would become consumed with overwhelming dark
thoughts that wouldn’t stop until he made sure that Freddy was fine.

He usually couldn’t convince his body until his son was wrapped in his arms, the beat of his heart
felt against his skin and making everything in Theo grow quiet once more.

He couldn’t help it.

He couldn’t stop it.

He couldn’t change it no matter what anyone said.

To help him try and navigate this new area of fear and continue to uphold his other responsibilities
in his life, Ginevra bought him this device that allowed him to keep Freddy close, but also gave his
hands mobility. The fabric wrapped his pal against his front so each of his tiny breaths could be felt
on Theo’s skin.

The weight of Freddy's life against his chest made the weight pressing his lungs disappear
entirely.

Seeing the relief it gave him, they had made it a habit for Theo to take him to work with him. His
pal was safe and secure under his neck as Theo mixed potions, bottled supplies, read over new
research, and spoke to employees.

Then when Freddy started to get older and no longer wanted to be confined to Theo, he had to
evolve as well. Even though nothing in him wanted to.

With his increase in mobility came an increase in Theo’s anxiety. And also a new perspective as he
looked at the house he had built a few years ago. A home he used to be proud of, but as he scanned
it with the eyes of a father, he had told Ginevra he wanted to demolish it.

Start over.

Build a new one.

Ginevra tried to hold back her utter fear at what he was suggesting. But when he had built their
home, he hadn’t imagined children, and it was obvious. It was not made for a child’s safety. There
were too many sharp corners and hard surfaces.

And stairs.

Don’t even get him started on the fucking stairs.

He should have built a one-story home.

That is what he will do for their next house. If he could ever convince Ginevra that it truly was
worth the work and was a dire need.

As of late, she was still unconvinced.

The same went for his lab at work. The space was far from safe. Theo had to reorganize
everything, which he did. Because he refused to leave him behind. To give up days in his lab with
his son. He would adjust to what Freddy needed.

Now though, as he looks to his pal, who will be two fucking years old soon, a thought that sends
him spiraling if he stays there too long, he is not only walking around getting into trouble or fast
asleep, making little whispy noises against his neck. He is actually participating and helping Theo
with his work.

Because he was becoming a real person lately.

Not just a baby they carried around with them, but a boy with opinions, and ideas, and insight.

It still shocks Theo, like it just did, when Freddy shows him how much he has grown and how
much he is taking in.
You are growing up on me way too fast.

But I promise I’ll try to keep up.

So I can be what you need me to be.

The door to his lab opens, and the two of them turn to see the third member of their little family
walking over.

“There are my boys,” Ginevra says as she plants a kiss on both of them.

“How was practice?” Theo asks as he looks her over for any markings or bruises. She raises her
arms out of habit. His inspection for injuries was a daily occurrence once her season started. He
twists her arms and rubs at a spot to see if it is dirt or damage.

It is dirt.

He raises her shirt to check her stomach and is about to lower it until he notices the large bruise on
her left side.

His eyes widen at the already deep purple over the bottom part of her rib cage.

“Gingersnap, what happened?” / “Mummy! You are hurt!”

She waves them off but doesn’t fight Theo as he runs his hand over the damaged flesh. “Ullensky
was flying all over the place today. Head wasn’t focused, and he clipped me. It looks worse than it
is.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Theo says as he casts the diagnostic charm. He looks closely and sees
his son move to watch the charts and colors.

Theo hums and elbows him gently. “What do you think, Healer Nott?”

His son points at the yellowish-green area. “Green means good. Mummy, you will live.”

Ginevra lets out a dramatic sigh.

“Oh, thank Merlin." She says as she wipes fake perspiration from her brow.

Freddy laughs as Theo accios his healing kit to grab the bruise paste.

“Don’t worry, papa will fix you.”

“Your papa always fixes me.”

The tops of his ears burn as he rubs the paste onto the area as lightly as he can. Trying to hold
himself back from raising his hand and skimming her lower breast.

Later…
“Can I help?”

Ginevra turns her side to ensure Freddy doesn’t get close to the edge of the apothecary table, and
Theo places some of the white ointment onto his son's hands.

He holds his wrist as Freddy starts rubbing the cream, directing where he applies it. “There you go.
Make sure you don’t press too hard, gentle circles… Perfect. You have healing hands, Freddy
boy.”

“Just like you!” He says excitedly.

Theo nods as he grabs a flannel to wipe off the paste.

Ginevra lowers her shirt. “Yes, you do, my little healers. Like father, like son.”

His breath hitches in his throat.

Like father, like son.

My father…

Hermione on the ground.

My hands…

“Papa?”

Theo shakes his head and coughs to get air back in his lungs.

It is a good thing.

The saying is a good thing now. Ginevra said those words as a compliment. He keeps trying to tell
his brain that as it fights against him to turn it into what it used to be.

Words holding so much fear, and self loathing, and doubt.

To a boy under a bed who didn’t want to live.

I’m not him anymore.

I will never be him again.

He stares at his hands for a while as he cleans them. Hands that have healed more than they have
hurt.

He used to keep track, but his death vs. Theo tally became uncountable as he continued his work as
a healer. But he knows he has death beat by a landslide now.
Take that fucker.

“I’m okay.” He assures his son as he pats his leg.

Freddy takes his words at face value and holds up the little cauldron towards his mum. “We made
tummy potion!”

Ginevra coos in praise down to the cauldron. The potion was actually his nausea relief potion. One
he created when Ginevra was pregnant and fighting to keep food down.

This specific batch is for Pansy, who apparently is experiencing the same first-trimester nausea as
Ginevra had.

It worked the best when consumed freshly brewed. But the pair, along with Daphne and her wife,
would be here soon to help with their latest experiment.

“Is everything ready?” Ginevra asks as she picks Freddy up and places him on her hip.

“I think so.” He says, moving over to the Hermione research area of his lab. He had designated a
large area to figure out a way to stop the eroding after-effects of the Dark Lord’s magic that had
tried to burrow and take over her mind. The remnants made it impossible for her to heal the
splinters and fractures as she had before. Instead, the sinister traces fill the space and allow the
darkest parts of her mind and life to reign over the area with no ability to control. An act that would
destroy the vessel it was in. This vessel being Hermione.

“Okay, I will go drop him off at my parents, and then I will be right back.”

“Are Draco and Hermione home?”

Ginevra shakes her head as she grabs Freddy’s bag of toys and other necessities. “No, she was
having a better day. I think they went to the housing facility. Malfoy said Leah had been missing
her. Go give your papa a hug, Freddy.”

Ginevra lowers him to the ground, and he runs into Theo’s arms.

“I’ll see you in a bit, pal. Be good for your granny and pap, okay?”

Freddy shakes his head into his neck and squeezes tighter. “Make Aunt Miney feel better. I miss
her too.”

We all do.

Theo holds in his emotions as his son pulls away, and he kisses him on the forehead. They all
missed her. It seemed this last month that she wasn't her almost half of the time. Locking herself in
a room, the windows, mirrors, and noise all covered and silenced. Her head, covered with a pillow,
and her body full of potions to either make her sleep through it or keep her half present, so she
wasn’t forced to relive everything.

“I will,” Theo assures.

I will.

She is my best friend.

I have to do this.

I have to fix this.

For her.

“Pinky promise?”

Freddy holds out his little finger, and Theo’s gut twists at another example of his son getting older
and picking up things from his parents.

“Pinky promise.”

He wraps his only one around his.

“You better keep this promise. Or Uncle Blaise says you won’t have any pinky’s left.”

“Your Uncle Blaise is an idiot.” Theo mumbles as Freddy joins his mum, and they walk out of his
lab.

Everything is ready. He had checked so many times on all the different aspects over the last two
days.

But that didn’t help him feel confident. Because he has failed at helping her so many times over the
years. He has never failed someone as many times as he has her. Every new idea, different way of
looking at this issue, combining and distorting old ways of thinking to find the hidden information
that may help, had resulted in nothing so far.

They have gathered together for experiments like today at least half a dozen times over the years.
Always thinking that this one would be the answer. Because her ailment had to have an answer. It
had to.

Draco was under the same impression. Probably devoting more of his time to finding a cure than
even Theo did. What they were trying today stems from Draco looking over their notes and
research for the ritual that helped him.

He had noticed Theo’s notes on a siphoning aspect that he and Hermione debated using within the
ritual for Draco.

They concluded it wouldn’t work for him, but for Hermione… For people who struggle like she
did with the after-effects of another person's Dark Magic being cast on them. Lingering and
infecting, yet separate from who they are as a person, it could possibly work.

They were keeping the ritual close to before.

She would have to take the potion Draco created to help Hermione’s body separate the pieces of
her from the remains of the Dark Lord’s magic. It worked in tandem with the spell they combined
with a complex siphoning charm they used in the healing realm and part of the horcrux spell that
called the darkness forward. The twisted, wrong, broken parts Dark Magic left in its wake.

Instead of placing this into someone, they would be placing it into something because, unlike
living Dark Magic, the shadowed remains did not need a living thing. Just an object strong enough
to house the infection.

“Theo.”

He jumps at her voice directly beside him.

“Shit, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” Hermione says as she leans against the table and holds out a cup. “Everyone else is on
their way. They are trying to convince Pansy to wait in the hallway. But here, I brought this for
you.”

He takes the cup of his favorite drink and sets it on the table. It could be a reward if this goes right.
Not until then.

“Thanks. How’s Leah? Is she enjoying having her own room at the housing facility?”

Hermione sighs and rubs at her arms. “She is putting on a brave face for Draco’s sake, but I can tell
she is lonely. I wish the other girls would have been kinder to her, so we didn't have to do this…”

“That isn’t what you truly wish for, Hermione.”

She sighs again and looks down at her shoes. “No, it isn’t.”

He scans over the notes once more, flipping page after page of the theories behind why this should
work to ensure they weren’t missing some possible outcome that could be a catastrophe.

Because he wants to give her what he knows she and Draco are both wishing for but are too scared
of what the future holds.

Even if this experiment did work, it wouldn’t take away the difficult memories or the other her
entirely. Most of what her body carried was reactionary to what happened to her. Her body would
always hold that. Like it had when he first found her. But also, like before, without the remnants of
the Dark Lord’s magic toying with her mind, it would belong to her again.

It would give her the ability to heal easier.

“Alright, improved Golden Trio. Let’s see if 8th times a charm before my pregnant and powerful
witch breaks through our wards.”

Blaise is already hoisting himself on top of his apothecary table, followed closely behind by
Ginevra. Daphne and Clara enter next, and both give Hermione a hug and a few words before they
step back with the others. Draco enters last and casts what seems to be another set of wards to keep
Pansy away from the experiment.

“Ready?” Draco asks as he walks up beside them.

Theo nods down at his research, not looking at any of the large crowd in his lab. Draco sets the
large gemstone on the table as Hermione swallows the potion and grimaces.

“Damn it, Draco, they seriously always taste…”

“Like shit.” He and Draco say together.

She wipes her mouth after coughing and picks up the blade. Draco takes it from her and holds up
her arm.

His hand is visibly shaking, almost as much as Theo’s insides seem to be.

Because no matter what the evil witch says, they both know they are running out of time.

That she is running out of time.

And they both want more with her.

They need more with her.

Hermione rests her forehead against Draco’s. “I love you.” She whispers into his lips.

Ginevra is lining up the vast amount of healing potions Theo may need if this experiment goes
wrong.

It had happened before.

Draco drags the blade against her skin. His face morphs into one that would make you believe he is
in more pain than she. Which could possibly be true. “I love you too.” He says as he finishes the
cut, a red line appears quickly.

Theo tries to control his breathing. He had been through many intense and time-sensitive situations
at St. Mungo’s. He is better at shutting off the part of his brain that wants to panic and turning on
the part that focuses on fixing the problem in front of him.

He pulls out his wand as he reads over the spell one more time and grabs the gemstone.

As he is reaching, Hermione places a small note in front of him.

I believe in you.

This evil fucking witch.

Although it feels inappropriate for the moment, he laughs as he looks up to see her smiling as well.

“Even though I am allowed to talk around you now, I thought it was fitting. The last time I did, it
worked.”

He places the gemstone over the bleeding cut. Draco is holding her arm for support.

Theo casts the diagnostic charm on her mind. Seeing how the potion had highlighted the
infectious-after-effects.

“That was definitely why it worked. Probably why none of our other experiments have yet.”

He raises his wand above her cut, and all the light-hearted energy disappears. Everyone is silent as
the air feels like it gets heavier.

This has to work.

I have to fix this.

Once and for all.

“I love you, Theo.”

“I love you too, Hermione.”

He closes his eyes as he recites the spell. It is a long one. With many forms of complex verbiage
and annunciations to say correctly, but Theo doesn’t stammer or hesitate once.

His magic courses through his body and into his wand as he speaks, showing that something is
happening.

When he finishes the spell, he holds his breath and can’t convince himself to open his eyes.

Because he would never say it aloud, but he isn’t sure if she has enough time left to start all over
again.

Not before she is placed back on the second floor. Filled with potions that leave her a shell, which
they all know would kill her.

The golden fire within her would burn out.

“It… You should feel some type of difference, I assume. Like your mind is clearer or…”

Her sobs cut off his words and make every muscle in his body tense.

Fuck, you hurt her again.

Fuckshitdamnit, you bastard.

You didn’t save her.

Theo’s mind is already jumping to damage control, knowing to go for the Calming Draught first.

But when his eyes open, he doesn’t see her on the floor.

It isn’t her red body.

Her convulsing body.

With all the others surrounding her, trying to fix what he had broken once again.

No.
She is in tears.

Smiling.

Held up.

Safe in Draco’s arms as he plants kisses all over her wet face.

His own is wet.

The rest of them move closer as Theo falls to the ground and takes in the diagnostic charm.

Seeing… nothing.

“You did it, Theo!”

His wicked witch wraps her arms around him as she cries out.

“Thank you, Theo… Fuck, thank you, thank you. Hermione, how do you feel?” Draco’s voice
breaks with every word as he looks deep into her eyes.

Hermione hiccups between her cries and runs her hand against her temple. “Like my mind is my
own. Like it belongs to only me again. We… we have to tell Neville. Maybe this will…”

Draco pushes her face into his chest to stop her words as his body shakes with each exhale.

“We have to do nothing. Slow down, just slow down…”

Her shoulders fall inward at his words, and so do Theo’s as he places his weight onto Ginevra to
help him stand.

He can’t stop reading the charm. Waiting for something to start flashing or her mind to go back to
how it used to look. But nothing comes.

We did it.

We really did it.

We beat the monsters.

Blaise, Daphne, and Clara all come up to join the celebration, and the door swings open in a fury as
a pregnant and perturbed Pansy Parkinson looks upon them. Her annoyance is quickly replaced
once she takes in the scene.

“Is Princess back?”

Blaise breaks Draco and Hermione apart by grabbing her and twirling her around. “Yeap! The
Golden Girl is back.”

Lips against Theo’s cheek turn his gaze to Ginevra. “I am so proud of you, Theo.”

He intertwines their fingers and pulls her closer as Draco steals his girl back from their friends.
Planting a kiss on her lips.
 “We won. I love you so much.”

“Let’s make our love bigger.”

Draco pulls away, not understanding what she means. “How?”

They would have a future now. The two of them could talk and dream again. They could take hold
of the control that never should have been taken away from them and finally do things they were
afraid to do without that assurance.

Hermione's hand rests against his chest, right above his heart.

“By inviting someone else in.”

Chapter End Notes

Talk of sexual abuse, pregnancy, and death.

Embedded art by Circe:

Twitter & Instagram
 Epilogue: 5
Chapter Notes

We did it.
We made it to the end.

With that being said, I have spoken for +550k words, so I will keep this short.

Thank you.
Truly.
While this journey has been full of pain, you readers brought so much to the last year
of my life.
Just simply, thank you.

Sincerely,

CDLynn

(ANY INQUIRIES INTO PIP, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME VIA

CDLYNNWRITES@GMAIL.COM)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Hermione

Three years later

The biscuits need to be in a line. A straight line. Hermione levitates the large box of snacks over to
a side counter next to the food vendor.

The crowd above them lets out a loud cheer that makes her jump and grab hold of Freddy's
shoulder to ensure he is still within arms reach.

The stands are packed today. More so than usual due to this being some championship, play-off,
final cup, super bowl, or whatever it was called.

Freddy anxiously hops from one leg to the other as he holds his large drink with two hands. "Come
on, Aunt Hermione! What if mum scored again, and I wasn't there for a fly-by high four?! They are
her good luck charm!"

Hermione grabs the container with the homemade Harpies honey biscuits and examines each one.
She removes two that aren't the same size as the others. The remaining five she lines up in the
container and places it back amongst the other treats.
Perfect.

She raises her wand and levitates the large box before taking hold of Freddy's shoulder. "Okay, let's
go. Stay close."

She has to grip the almost five-year-old's shirt to keep him near as they try to maneuver through
the large crowd of people.

Too many people.

Too many noises.

Too open.

It wasn't only the sport that made her hesitate to come to these events. Even though it had been
years, she still didn't like crowds, big spaces, or shouting. And it was worse with the children.

"Hermione Granger!"

Her body tenses for a moment before she continues forward. Picking up their pace. Keeping her
eyes on the opening to their private box.

A couple more steps…

Draco and Theo would know the exact number.

Suddenly, a magical quill with a body following close behind it cuts her off. Invading her personal
space. Like they always do.

She doesn't make eye contact with the reporter, knowing that for some reason, they took that
acknowledgment and usually ran with it as a form of acceptance.

"Have anything to say about your rumored interest in the recently opened position as Director of
the Magical Creatures Welfare Department within the Ministry? It would be the perfect place to
work towards becoming Minister in the future, wouldn't it?"

She tries to move around him, but the man side-steps again. And then again. And again.

"No comment."

But, of course, that doesn't stop the reporter.

"Is that what you plan to do in the future? Have a career in politics? It has been said that you
already have strenuous relations with your fellow seat members within the Wizengamot due to
allegations of hypocrisy and difficulty to work with. Are these allegations true?"

She holds in her scoff at his words stated as if they are factual evidence. It was infuriating.

There had been an uproar since Draco signed over the Malfoy family seat to her within the
Wizengamot two years ago.
From both sides that still existed.

It was hard to navigate a world that hadn't decided who she was, even if she had.

The members loyal to the Sacred 28 found it impossible to hide their disdain for a Muggleborn
now being the representative for what was once the purest blood family in the Wizarding World.
Because even with the defeat of the face, the belief system and classism still existed. So deeply
ingrained into both culture and family structures that she thinks no matter what any of them do,
they will always be a part of some people.

Just like the public resentment towards certain groups and surnames that were associated with
Voldemort continued to prevail after the war.

Not everyone took the time to learn the truth. Living in lies that made their directed anger
excusable.

But isn't that the same thought process that started the wars in the first place?

The only issue the differing viewpoints seemed to agree upon was that Hermione and Draco's
relationship was wrong. Was disturbing. Was inexcusable.

The public hostility had lightened over the years, but with her face back in the limelight through
her work within the Wizengamot, the focus was back on her family.

Something she is tired of.

She wants to make a difference. She was always supposed to, wasn't she? Everyone had always
seen that within her from a very young age. Hermione tried her best to live up to those
expectations. For her parents, who no longer knew her. For her friends buried under the ground.
For the little girl walking through the engine smoke and onto a train for the first time. Full of big
ideas and dreams.

But what about the woman she was now?

She didn't like the political scene. Maybe, if she hadn't gone through what she had, she would be
able to handle the fact that all governments were corrupt. And that you had to be willing to play the
game to stay in power.

She was tired of the game that seemed to never end. That was empty debates, which never left the
room of old prejudiced wizards. And innovative ideas, hidden amid pages and pages of sub-
sections and jargon that bored even Hermione to read and were pushed behind other bills and
documents for months upon months.

It was all too much. Too much of no change at all.

She had righted history with her words. But righting the future…

I want to work toward real change.

That is what I want to do.

"No comment." She grits out again, squeezing Freddy's shoulder and stepping away to make it
clear she has no desire to continue this interaction.

The reporter must pick up on this and, to her horror, decides to take a different route by lowering to
Freddy's level.

He tips his head. "How about you, kid? Think your Aunt Hermione should run for Minister
someday?"

Absolutely not.

You just crossed the line.

She sees red and places herself between Freddy and the man. She knows who this one is.

Elijah Donovan.

She had researched every single person staffed by the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and other
gossip-filled pieces of parchment that had the desire to make money off her and her family's lives.
To know who she was dealing with and to come best armed to end situations like the one in front
of her.

Because confronting her, she could handle. She didn't care what bullshit they printed about her or
even Draco anymore. If he didn't care, neither did she.

But the children.

The children were off-limits.

And Elijah Donovan just disrespected that agreement.

She needs to get Freddy away from this situation. The entrance to their box is still too far away for
her to be comfortable letting him walk there himself. But she notices Padma stepping out of the
lavatory near them and taking in the scene. The woman moves quickly, eyes widening at Hermione
in understanding before dropping to her nephew.

Padma and Ron both knew the difficulty of the press. They were probably most relentless with
Ron. But over the past years, they had been able to secure as private a life as possible. And while
Ron would still put on a show for the public, he much preferred the quiet simple life he had created
with Padma.

Hermione focuses on Elijah while bending down to Freddy's ear. "Go to your Aunt Padma. She
will take you back to the match."

Freddy does a little happy dance as he takes Padma's hand. The women exchange a knowing
expression before turning their attention elsewhere. As soon as Hermione is sure Freddy can no
longer see, she takes a step closer, moving into the reporter's personal space, and his expression
changes quickly.

"Elijah Donovan. Age 25. Half-blood. Scored two O's and five E's on your NEWT's. Resides in
Wiltshire with your pregnant wife and one child. Was granted a Floo connection to your work
building by the Ministry two years ago when you were hired by the Daily Prophet."

She moves a little closer. Speaking her words low so only the two of them can hear as his eyes
widen in alarm.

"Yet for some reason…" She pulls her wand out of her pocket. "Even with that connection, you
have an open tab at the inn above the Leaky Cauldron. A tab under the name Patrick Archer. A
man who the patron of said establishment has made clear looks exactly like you. But surprisingly,
the woman who accompanies you into the room is not your pregnant wife, is it?"

No, she doesn't put reporters in jars anymore. Her preference for keeping control falls to the use of
information instead. In the subtle ability to hold a person within your power due to personal
knowledge. Hermione was always good at solving problems. Almost as good as she was at
gathering information and diving into documents and paper trails to find connections, and putting it
all together for her own use.

And she had spent too much time under the control of twisted men.

Never again.

A wicked smile takes over her face as she holds her wand in between them. The man's mouth is
now hanging open, and his skin is flushing in a telling way. Hermione twirls the wood between her
fingers, directing his attention to the item.

"I am sure you are aware of who used to own this wand. It tortured me at one point. Carved these
letters into my arm." The wand's tip rests against the middle of his chest, rising and falling
sporadically as she turns her forearm with the scar upward. She shouldn't be enjoying this as much
as she is. "Yet, it works for me. It gave me a bit of trouble at the beginning, but not anymore. None
at all. Peculiar, isn't it? That such a dark item, which was once used by the darkest female wizard,
found me of similar countenance."

The pulse on his throat breaks as he swallows hard. His skin is becoming redder, with the worry
showing itself physically.

Hermione had accepted the darker pieces of herself a long time ago.

Maybe she wasn't the girl she used to be or the girl she thought she always would become. But she
survived. She survived, and fought, and lost too much to live now with reserve.

She moves the tip against his chest lightly, like a caress or even an accident, and lowers her voice.
"Do not usurp the rules again by speaking to the children. If so, this information will be used, or
maybe, I will see how far this wand and I truly cooperate with…"

"Donovan! How are you mate?"

The wood creaks with her tightening grip at the interruption.

The reporter blinks, and his mouth opens slightly before Hermione turns and sees Ron eyeing her
before extending his hand toward the blood-sucking insect.
Don't give me that look.

I wasn't going to put this one in a jar…

Donovan stutters as he shakes Ron's hand. His body struggles to go from the extreme emotions of
fear to surprise within seconds. "Y- you know my name… The Weasley War… I mean, Mr.
Weasley, it is an honor to finally speak to you."

Ron shoots him a practiced smile that doesn't match his eyes. "Well, when a man has been sending
me an owl or flooing my office daily for almost a year, I tend to learn the name. Sorry for never
getting back to you, mate. Being the hero of the Wizarding World is surprisingly busy."

Hermione rolls her eyes as the reporter lights up even more at Ron's feigned desire to continue this
interaction. She knows what he is doing.

The reporter still shakes Ron's hand as he laughs much too loudly at the weak joke. "Of course, of
course, it would. Did you travel from Russia to scout or cheer for your sister?"

"Both. We are preparing for the next season already. But I'm also here to coach my sister to ensure
she flies her best."

She fights not to groan out loud at his statement. If Ginny heard him, she would have given him the
middle finger or sent a bat bogey hex at his head. Ever since Ron took the position as talent scout
for the Russian Quidditch League, being their top strategist for fitting players to certain teams, and
also taking the job at Durmstrang to coach the school's quidditch team alongside Viktor Krum, he
had become insufferable to his sister. Threatening to switch her to her least favored team, bringing
notice to every error she made during games, and drawing out exactly how she could improve. It
was usually good advice from what Padma told Hermione, but it was coming from Ginny's brother,
so of course, she would hear none of it.

"And you are sitting in the private warded box with Ms. Granger?"

"Mrs. Granger-Malfoy." She cuts in. Over three years and the papers still didn't like writing her
new last name.

Ron elbows her.

"Yes. My wife and I and a group of others close to my sister are all here to support her." Ron slings
his arm around the man. A movement that places his body in between her own and the reporter.
Donovan's face lights up. The overwhelming joy of THE Ronald Weasley's arm wrapped around
him in a gesture of friendliness, taking all his attention. "How about you and I go chat about the
new initiatives you have been owling me about for the last year? Let 'Mione here get back to our
box. We both know I'm more famous than her anyways."

Ron shoots her a wink before turning the man away. Donovan throws his head back and laughs too
loudly again. Making her and Ron grimace.

"That you are. Yes, thank you, Mr. Weasley. Now, like you said, I have been…"

Ron nods like he is listening to the git talking faster and faster. He turns and mouths 'you owe me'
at her before moving away.
She scoffs, walking back and levitating the treats toward their box. She had that situation under
control. She didn't need Ron to come in and try to appease scum like him.

Plus, she had been enjoying watching the man squirm.

She steps into their private box, and the muscles in her body relax as she enters the wards and the
sound of the crowd disappears.

The wards eliminated all noises from outside their observation area, making it impossible for the
surrounding crowd to see in, and also didn't allow any outside magic to enter.

Blaise hated them. Saying he needed the crowd's energy to get into the game. He was advised to sit
elsewhere, yet he still chose to join them in their box every time.

"Finally! What took you so long?" Blaise takes the container of food as soon as she enters.

Two pairs of little hands start grabbing up toward the treats from all around him, and he holds the
box above his head to keep it out of their reach.

"Okay, okay, hold on! Pans a little help?!"

Little Posy Zabini wraps around her father's leg while her twin, Theodore Zabini, goes for his back.

A name given to the boy after a drunk gambling night that led to another Unbreakable Vow.

Theo made a plaque to commemorate the event. And Blaise had broken something, somehow.

The twins continue to squeal and climb up their father, almost causing him to drop the food twice.
Pansy seems unaffected by the scene. Lowering her sunglasses for a moment before pushing them
up her nose and slowly flipping the catalog page in her hands.

Blaise resorts to throwing the two toddlers onto a bean bag he brought. The two caramel-skinned
and dark-haired children laugh loudly as they fall into the cushioned chair.

He points a finger down. "Now sit! Stay!"

Hermione rolls her eyes and grabs the specific container of biscuits. "They are not animals, Blaise."

"Are you sure?" He says as he throws their snacks at them from a safe distance, rolling up his
sleeve to show the crescent scar on his forearm his daughter had given him a few months ago.

His battle wound, as he called it. Showcasing the barely-there mark like it explained why he was
terrified of his own children.

Hermione called it karma.

Blaise picks up another bag of crisps and tosses it toward the front of their box. "Nott, catch!"

Theo flinches as the treat hits his side, and Freddy catches it easily for his father before it lands on
the ground. Theo's hands never release their vice grip on his healing kit, and his eyes never leave
his wife whipping all over the pitch at a furious speed. He is sitting on the edge of their box on the
half wall like always. His leg bounces nervously, and Hermione hears him suck in a breath as
Ginny zooms past, moving the long brown waves of his hair from his forehead. A few seconds
later, most of the crowd stands and starts waving their arms, and the number on the scoreboard
changes.
Freddy hoops and hollers loudly and begins to climb up on the ledge. At this, Theo finally lets go
of his healing kit and wraps his arms protectively around his son, who is, without any fear
whatsoever, hanging off the side of their box.

The two of them hold out their left hands, and Freddy bends down his pinky right before Ginny
flies by and slaps their hands. She slows more than expected, grabs the back of Theo's neck, and
kisses him before flying off again.

"Yuck!" Freddy gags and scrambles off his father, who's still staring after his witch.

A warm hand against her back makes Hermione turn to see Padma's concerned expression. "Are
you okay?"

"Yes." She says reassuringly, reaching up to squeeze her hand. "Your lovely husband came and
made it clear that an article about him would garner higher engagement than an article about me."

Padma groans, but they both smile and shake their heads. "Ron has been dodging that reporter for
over a year. I told him to let you know, and you would do… whatever it is that you do, and he
would disappear, but he said no. I guess I better go save the Weasley Warrior."

The nickname comes out full of Padma's dry sarcasm.

"It is what you do best." Hermione agrees as Padma walks away.

Neville now has the box of food and holds out a drink towards his mother who is sitting next to
him watching the game. Both of his parents came with him today. They had become huge fans of
the sport during their time in St. Mungo's when they would both sit in their beds with nothing but
the latest match playing on the radio.

Now though, thanks to Theo and Draco, they were here. Living. Moving. Aware. Themselves
again.

Theo had to adjust some of the magical healing aspects, but once he studied how the Cruciatus
Curse after effects centralized in certain areas of the brain that allowed the rest of the body to
respond to its instructions, it didn't take him long to create the solution.

Now, Neville and many others have their family members back.

And Neville is soaking in every second. Learning and growing to love who his parents are, not just
who they were to him. Finding out the gum wrappers his mother always gave him while in St.
Mungo's had to do with one of her last memories with her son before they were tortured into forced
insanity.

Theo believes the memory must have been playing out repeatedly in her mind while being tortured
and had been the only thing left within the cycle of consciousness she had while suffering from the
after-effects.

Because even if she couldn't express it, and her son had grown exponentially over the years, her
body recognized him as hers and held onto the memory of little Neville finding a wrapper on the
floor of their home while he was crawling. Alice said she would see him watching the sun reflect
off the surface. Staring at the shiny wrapper until he went cross-eyed. No one could take the
wrapper off him, or he would start crying, and the only way to make him stop was to give him
back the wrapper.

Frank had gone to the store to grab another packet of the gum as Neville had worn the shiny
surface off his current wrapper and was becoming discontent with it. When he came home, he
opened the door to a room full of masked Death Eaters.

They both explained they could not think much past the brokenness of their minds over the last two
decades.

But Neville and gum wrappers.

That Alice knew.

Alice saw.

It was the only thing she fought to hold onto every minute of every day.

Neville pops a bubble as he hands his mother her drink. She bends and says something into his ear
that Hermione can't hear, but Neville nods in understanding and points out to the pitch. Frank
seems to agree with his son and must be adding his own input as Arthur laughs at something Molly
does next to them.

Hermione grabs one of the biscuits in her container and takes a bite as she searches for blonde.

Her blonde.

Her eyes fall on two heads peering out onto the pitch, standing at the edge of the box, deep in their
own conversation.

Like usual.

The two always fell into their own little world when left together.

That heated fire that the reporter had brought to the surface settles into a calming warmth that
spreads throughout her limbs and leaves goosebumps in its wake as Draco grabs the little legs
around his neck and readjusts the small body on his shoulders.

Leah's eyebrows are scrunched together, and her mouth is moving. She must be asking another
question about something she does not understand.

Hermione waits and sees Draco begin to speak in return. When she left to go get the food, Leah had
been asking question after question about the game, and that had been a while ago.

Their daughter questioned everything. Draco said that her average number of questions for one day
was 87.

Draco spots her first and nudges Leah's leg.

Hermione grabs the camera off her vacated seat and snaps the picture as her daughter smiles in
acknowledgment of her presence.

My daughter.

They had adopted her weeks after the experiment seemed to be holding. Giving Hermione access to
her mind again in a way she hadn't experienced in years. Allowing her and Draco to invite Leah
into their life.

Hermione was the one to see the future in Leah's eyes, even though it had been through Draco and
Leah's interactions that she had witnessed it.

It wasn't something complex to pull apart.

Leah fit. That was it. Somehow, someway, their three lives seemed to fit together in a way that
made sense. That felt right.

They had agreed it should be Leah's decision. To join their family.

They both knew the importance of feeling like you had control over your own life and what it can
feel like when it is taken away. It would have been wrong to ever assume that their desires matched
hers.

It was her life.

It was her choice.

Whether she wanted to be a part of their family. An addition. If she would have them.

They had sat down and opened their future to the little girl through words Hermione hoped she
understood.

And before she could finish the speech she had written and rewritten more times than any other
piece of writing, Leah was flying into their arms, exclaiming that she wanted to adopt them.

It really was a more accurate statement.

"Mum! Are those mine?" Leah gestures around Draco's head. Leaning forward and making him
hold onto her legs tighter to keep her from falling. Hermione smiles and takes out the other biscuit
before handing her daughter a container of three.

She squeals and jumps on her father's shoulders. "Perfect! Thanks, Mum."

The crumbs from her first bite fall into Draco's platinum hair. He can feel them if his facial
expression is anything to go off of. But Hermione knows he won't say a word. Draco Malfoy does
not care about much, but when he chooses to care, it is with everything he has.

"You were gone a long time, Mummy. Aunt Ginny's team scored a bunch of times."

Hermione reaches up, kisses her daughter on the cheek, and pats down her hair over the side of her
face. "I ran into a little distraction, but that is good, darling. Who is winning?"

Both her daughter and husband shoot her a matching smirk that has her heart doing a flip.

"Distraction?" / "There is a scoreboard, Mum!"

Hermione waves her hand at the two of them as if to dismiss both of their comments. "You know I
don't understand this sport."

Leah pops another biscuit in her mouth and pulls a leg over Draco's shoulder to get down. "Freddy
has a whole parchment full of statistics and information. Let me go get it for you."

She grimaces. "Oh. No honey that…"

It is no use. Her daughter has already made up her mind and is running over to Freddy, who is
writing on said piece of paper. He moves it out of her line of sight at first. Leah has the problem of
correcting his information. Something the little boy does not take kindly to.

"Reporter?"

She turns her attention to her husband, staring out toward the game without seeing any of it.

She nods and matches his posture.

"Relationship or position?"

"Position."

He hums in acknowledgment.

She leans into his side and takes in the cool feel of him that still gives her comfort after all these
years. "Would you be disappointed if I didn't? I want to keep the seat and be involved, but I don't
want to dedicate the rest of my life to work that will result in little true change and possibly hurt my
family in the process."

The words come out quiet. It shouldn't be this scary to speak them. After everything they have been
through, why did she still feel responsible for other people's expectations? Maybe there were
pieces of who she used to be left. Little pieces that survived that she wished would have been
overcome by now. Of the insecure little girl who never felt at home anywhere.

His cool thumb caressing her jawline makes her blink and look up. They stare at one another.

Gold meeting silver.

He tilts her chin back to the box, breaking eye contact. "Look around, Granger." His guidance
forces her to look. Where Leah and Freddy are giggling about something. Where Theo is still
locked on the love of his life. Where a sleeping Posy is sprawled across her mother's chest as Pansy
circles something on a page. Where Ron wraps his arms around Padma and pulls her into his lap.
Where Frank and Alice both laugh at something Arthur Weasley says while Molly shakes her
head.

It looks like life.

Normal.

Beautiful.

Mundane life.

"You already changed the world. For everyone here. You played a role in making this moment that
none of us thought we would ever have after everything we lost, happen."

She grabs his hand under her chin and interlaces their fingers. "We all did it together."

Because she wouldn't be here, in this moment, right now, if it wasn't for him. Or Theo. Or Ginny,
or all of them for that matter.

It was something she had always longed for. To have a place where she belonged. To feel
comfortable in her own skin and accepted for who she was. Not what she did or had to offer.
And they had given that to her.

Maybe that is where change truly happened.

Through connection. Through the strength and vulnerability in realizing that they couldn't do much
on their own. That maybe, they weren't supposed to.

She used to be the kind of person who believed in the strength of complete independence. That it
was easier and better to have control over everything herself. Do everything herself. Keep all the
complex and challenging parts that made up who she was all to herself.

But it was hard to grow, change, or heal in the solitude.

Weren't they all built for community? Wasn't that where love existed? And what was more
powerful to create a better world than love?

No, she thinks, maybe love isn't the solution for everything. But it does endure. It does live on and
create growth and change in a way that leads songs to be composed, books to be written, and
people to healing.

And what better way to change the world than to care about those creating it?

Draco

Two years later

One, two, three, four, five, six…

That is too much honey.

El is concentrating hard as she finally tips the honey jar upright. They examine the now orangeish
color of the liquid in the mug, and Draco tries to hold back for his daughter.

But it should not be that color.

He had been making Granger her cup of tea for years, and it was never this color.

"And that is where I will go to school? Where you and mum went to school?"

Draco rests his head on top of El's as she sits on the kitchen counter and stirs the tea. "Yes."

He tucks the strands of her hair behind her ear and kisses the side of her face.
"And sad things happened there for you and mum, and Aunt Ginny and Uncle Theo?"

He breathes in slowly, taking in the comforting smell of lavender and vanilla in her hair, just like
her mother. "Yes, sad and bad things."

"Did some of the bad things you did happen there?"

Fuck.

He doesn't answer her right away because he hates this.

He has hated what was beginning to happen for a long time. Anxious about the inevitable reality
that lay before them with their children. To have to explain and be honest about their roles and
actions in the war. To destroy some of their innocent ignorance so they are prepared for what the
world will say to them. For the way they will be treated.

Knowing this was coming didn't help. It didn't stop the natural habit of walls being built around
memories he wished could stay in the past.

Draco didn't care what society thought of him. He had enough money, enough people in his life,
and enough confidence to be unaffected by the words of others.

Until now.

Until his one vulnerability.

Until those words and opinions were no longer directed at him but at his daughter.

Something he couldn't stop from happening. He felt utterly helpless to protect her from the hurt
that would come. They all agreed that the best plan was to slowly tell them everything. Starting out
with simple statements such as 'daddy had to do some bad things to keep mum and others safe.' To
someday… someday sooner than later, telling them exactly what those words meant.

"I made some mistakes there, yes. Especially with your mum. I wasn't very nice."

"Mum says that people are mean because they don't understand."

He sighs again.

The few conversations they have had with Leah always resulted in him staring at a spot right above
her shoulder and forcing out one-syllable responses when he wasn't given a choice. And Granger
let him. Taking the lead within those situations.

But Granger is upstairs at the moment. And El is addressing these questions and statements to him,
not her.

Where was his teammate when he needs her?

She was much better at these conversations than he was. Putting the truth into words, yet still
keeping it somehow age-appropriate for Leah and Freddy. Telling just enough, but not too much.
Making it easier to understand and digest.
"Yes." It is all he can think to say.

"Like the other girls were mean to me about being different? Because they didn't understand?"

He wishes it was like that. "No."

It was a hard reality to accept. That he once again couldn't protect a woman in his life. Having to sit
back and watch as the world tried to define her.

"Then what do you mea…"

A familiar flash goes off behind them. Leah quits her train of thought and turns the words into a
moan with an elongated eye roll to the ceiling.

Draco turns to snatch the camera away from his wife, but before he can, she takes another photo
before stuffing the device into her beaded bag on her hip.

The witch had become obsessed with documenting everything after they adopted Leah. She took
no less than 10 pictures a day. The bookshelf in Leah's room already showcased seven moving
picture books that serve as a timeline of her life with them.

Not just her first birthday party.

Or the day she called them Mummy and Daddy for the first time.

Or her first sleepover with Freddy.

But every little moment. Small and minuscule. Unfocused with poor lighting. It didn't matter.

Anytime they tried to talk about it, Granger would get surprisingly emotional and state that no
matter what happened in the future, Leah would have them. She would always have the pictures to
hold and know that she was loved.

Draco understands why, and he thinks Leah does as well. He knows his girls have talked about the
loss of their parents in depth over the years. Granger wanted El to know that she did not want to
replace her first mother, her first family. That Leah's love for her true parents did not have to go
away or become smaller now that she had agreed to be a part of another family. That they could
both exist within her. Because the heart was very good at making room for love.

"Hopefully, the shot isn't blurry like the last one. I need a picture of you two in your aprons."
Granger winks and reads over the monogrammed words of the Christmas present he is wearing.

When he opened the green apron with 'property of Hermione Granger-Malfoy' across the front, she
and Theo laughed so hard that one was thrown into a coughing fit while the other started hiccuping
uncontrollably.

He had simply scoffed at the gift and the cheeky woman who had turned his own joke from years
ago back on him. He thought he would simply never wear it. He would make the item go missing,
like her shoes.

That is until his witch had proven how truly brilliant she was when the next present Leah opened
was a mini replica of his own.

Draco had to fight to hold in his dismay as El squealed with joy and yelled, 'they matched!' Now,
anytime she wore hers, she would look up at him with those big blue-green eyes, and he would
cave immediately. Wearing the damn thing now 13 times.

Granger's apron is on the way.

And so are the knickers he will replace all her current ones with.

"Mum, I helped dad with your tea!" Leah exclaims as Draco assists her off the counter and hands
Granger's mug to her.

She mocks surprise and peppers their daughter with kisses.

Granger has always been beautiful. In every stage or position life threw her, she always seemed to
have this ability to shine.

It is what made her golden.

But nothing made her shine more to him than seeing her being a mother. The role made her slow
down in a way the witch needed. In a way even he couldn't.

She takes a large sip of her tea, and Draco sees her whole body convulse. Knowing full well that
the amount of honey Leah added probably made it beyond sweet and gave it a gritty texture.

He laughs lightly, and her eyes meet him in a knowing way.

Draco picks up Leah and swings her on his hip. "She made it special for you. Don't you love it?"

Granger nods her head, but he can tell by her swollen cheeks that she hasn't swallowed a drop.

It takes her a few moments to realize her fate before she finally swallows hard. "So good Leah,
thank you, sweetheart. It is so… so good. I think I will save the rest for the Hogwarts Express."

Draco chuckles again as he unties both their aprons and hangs them on the hook.

"Little witch! Are you ready?"

They all look out the kitchen window at the exclamation to see Theo holding a long rope attached
to the end of the broom Freddy is riding. A rope that keeps him from flying at top speeds and
crashing and breaking his arm… again.

The new rule is nothing above five feet from the ground and no faster than 10 kilometers an hour.
A rule the two of them were struggling to obey if the bruise that appeared on Leah's chin yesterday
was anything to go off of.

Hence the rope.

Leah tries to unhook her legs from around him, but Draco holds on.

"Dad, I have to go!" She pulls on a strand of his hair and presses her lips to his cheek.

"Okay. Do you have your galleon if you need us?" He asks as he sets her down.

She pats her trouser pocket and gives him a thumbs up.

"And do not get on that broom with him again. Not with him driving, at least."

Leah groans as she hugs her mother.

They claim he is overprotective.

They are wrong.

He loves his bud, but Freddy is a fucking idiot on a broom.

"The bruise isn't that bad, Dad. Oh! But it did knock a tooth loose, look!" She opens her mouth and
pushes her tongue against a tooth. It wiggles visibly with her tongue's jostling, and she beams up at
them. "See?! Can you help me pull it out when you return from Hogwarts later today?"

The olive skin tone of Granger's face goes white in an instant. Both of them remain silent. Neither
knowing what to say to their daughter. Or why her words make both of them leave the room and go
back to a house with a bed, and bottles, and blood, and bodies.

They blink.

And then blink again.

What do we do, Granger?

"I read a book that says you put it under your pillow, but if you want to put it with the other tooth
you have, mum, that is okay," their daughter continues, not picking up on the change in the
atmosphere.

He physically has to stop the bile in his throat from coming up. She had kept it? All these years
later and Granger still held on to…

Well, she took ownership of that piece after it was taken away. Why would she ever let it go again?

Granger shakes her head quickly before resting her hand on Leah's arm. "No, we can put it under
your pillow. The one I keep is a story for another day, okay?"

"Little witch! We are going to be late!"

Theo's words help distract Leah from her mother's statement, and she, half-listening, nods her head
and gives them a quick wave before turning out the door to follow Theo and Red.

They both watch through the door until their daughter is out of sight. Standing in the hard reality
that some events would live in them forever.

That some hard moments would have to be faced over and over again as they continue forward.

They all carried them.

It sometimes still felt heavy and too much.

Like the air does right now as Granger sighs and walks over to the sink, dumping her tea down the
drain.
"The tea crunched, Draco. Crunched."

He stares at her. Giving her time to decide if this was something she really wanted to move past or
address.

Whatever you want, Granger. I'll be with you.

She seems to know what he is doing, so she cements her desire. "Crunched, Draco."

He smiles finally as she shakes her head in disgust. He reaches above the fridge, accidentally
knocking off the list, grabbing the cup he had made while Leah was distracted.

Her gold sparkles catch in the sun rays as she moans lightly before taking the mug and downing a
large gulp.

He kneels down to pick up the list and reattaches it using a sticking charm. Letting his eyes linger
on his girl's names and the areas that are crossed out and those that are not.

"I still think you and Theo are overbearing with your insistence that we examine the train as well."

He grabs his robes from the hallway and shrugs them on as they walk to the floo. Maybe she is
right. Maybe it is a bit overkill that he and Theo had been adamant on including the Hogwarts
Express within the safety and set-up advisement Minerva asked them to do at Hogwarts.

But a lot could happen on the train. A lot had happened on the train. Their children would be riding
on the train in a few short years. They had to make sure every area was up to their standards.

The news that Hogwarts would be opening its doors for the first time since the war ended was
public knowledge. Any child that experienced first-hand the dark times that had taken the school
had finished their terms.

And the castle was meant to be a school.

It was time.

Minerva had asked the four of them if they would be comfortable coming and advising her on how
to handle the dark history while also moving on from it.

After much discussion between the four, giving Red the most time to figure out how she felt about
going back to the place where she had lost so many people important to her, plus her near-death
experience. In the end, she had decided, like they all knew she would, that they needed to go and
inspect the place their children would be calling home.

Because, unlike how they were told continuously by the adults during their childhoods that
Hogwarts was a safe place, they wanted to be able to say it and believe it due to their own
participation.

He and Theo planned to add to the wards and security measures around both the train and the
school. Using some of the wards Theo used on his 11 rooms that had kept him safe from evil for so
long.

Draco wraps Granger's coat around her shoulders and pulls her bushy hair out from the collar.
"Like you have any desire to place the children on a train where dementors have accessed in the
past, and other dangerous things still can happen."

He throws the floo powder into the fire and yells out the train station, jumping out of the flames
and waiting a few seconds for Granger. She walks out and takes a sip of her tea as they walk to
station 9 ¾.

He hasn't been here in years. It honestly feels like it may have been another life as he looks across
the empty train station.

Remembering how he had scowled at the crowded waiting area that first year. Letting his disgust
at being grouped with all the other students be seen clearly on his face. Entering the train behind
his pureblood friends, who quickly claimed a private box within seconds.

He opens his mouth to make a comment, but the smile and distant look in Granger's eyes has him
pausing.

"What?" He asks instead.

She points to the fifth car. "That's the one I saw you enter our first year. My mum, dad, and I were
standing right here when I spotted your hair and took off to follow after you."

Guilt hits him in the chest at the memory of how he had treated her. How his desire to be liked by
his peers had outweighed his strange feelings that began as soon as he opened that train door to her
world of gold.

"I was a prick."

"Was?" She tilts her eyebrow up in a playful way and shoves into him as they walk to climb into
the fifth car.

"I need to use the loo. Wait on Theo and Ginny to get here to start the wards."

He agrees as she turns the corner of the long hallway, tapping his knuckles against the wooden
banister before stopping in front of a box.

It is the same. Everything. But it feels so different.

He slides the door open. The seat cushions are the same worn blue with a line pattern of black that
Blaise had accidentally spilled pumpkin juice on during their second year.

The inner windows still have the option to be covered by curtains. Like his group had preferred to
do during every train ride. Hiding their debauchery from others.

He looks out the exterior windows to the muck-covered bricks of King's Cross Station. Running
his finger along the glass where Theo had once drawn figures within the sudden condensation
created by the dementors about to attack the train.

After they are through today, no dementors will be able to come near the train again.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Draco turns around and sees Granger sliding the cart door open with her fist resting against the
pane.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, but have you seen a toad anywhere?"

It takes him longer than he would like to admit to catch on to what she is doing. He was usually the
one to remember the little moments between them over the years.

But this time, it is her.

He smirks.

Okay, let's play, Granger.

She leans a shoulder into the door, pulling the corner of her lip between her teeth with that playful
smile.

"No, sorry, I haven't."

She huffs, then cups her hand around her mouth. "Trevor!"

"Not my name either."

"That is the toad's name, you git."

"Ah, I see, well…" He scratches the back of his head, stepping closer, leaning his shoulder on the
adjacent door frame, and holding out his hand. "I'm Draco Malfoy. Your future husband."

Her mouth forms into a shape that makes it look like she ate something sour before gripping his
hand in hers and shaking. "Hermione Granger, nice to finally meet you."

"Finally?"

"Yes, uhm… I actually recognize you from the Daily Prophet. Your family has one of the largest
collections of archives, books, and tomes in the Wizarding World."

"My library. That is what you took from all those articles, huh?"

She shrugs. "I like books. And your hair."

He smirks. "You like my hair?"

Her eyes widen. "No! I meant, I recognized your hair from the articles as well."

"So, you don't like my hair?"

Her cheeks redden as if she is actually getting flustered by this little game. Maybe she is. And
maybe he likes it.

"I like your hair," Draco says as he slides his finger into a loose curl and begins to twirl.

"You sure you would call it hair? Not a… what was the word Pansy described it as, oh!
Monstrosity?"
"I have questioned a time or two if it is sentient." Draco leans and presses his nose into the top of
her head. "I was enamored with your hair from the first time I saw it. Ever since this moment years
ago, my eyes followed this bush of brown. Even when I didn't want them to and didn't yet
understand the implications behind that desire."

Granger's hands slide up the nape of his neck, digging into his scalp. "I followed your hair onto this
train car. Because even before we met, I was searching for you."

Fuck.

His forehead falls to rest against hers. There was a lot about the future that scared him. A lot he
had to find the strength in himself to overcome and push through due to having these people in his
life.

It would be easier to be alone.

He has known that for a long time. Had tried it during the first years of their freedom after the war.

Because the aspect of having his life grow bigger, as Minerva advised him long ago, also made
him face things that were hard. Things he could have forgone addressing if he wouldn't have
opened himself up to being a husband or father.

Like the hard conversations with Leah.

Like being open to his wife.

Like making sure he was someone Freddy could look up to.

Like he could be more than the most challenging moments.

"Do I need to cast a silencing charm?" They break away and spot Theo helping Red into the car.
Both of their eyes comb the area. All of them living different memories in their heads from the
location.

"Shit, this is weird," Theo whispers.

Red agrees, and Theo brushes his hand across the side of her arm as her eyes seem to be elsewhere.
"Gingersnap, if this is too much, Blaise and Pansy said they left the floo open if you need to…"

"No. I want to do this. If our child is going to be here for seven years of his life, I want to be
involved in ensuring nothing…" She rubs her hand against her chest. "I want it to be as safe as
possible."

The sound of the whistle makes them all jump, and they head into the nearest box to sit and watch
as they leave the station.

Theo and Granger both pull out parchment from their bags as they sit. He is not surprised the two
wrote an itemized list of safety precautions and talking points for Minerva and the other staff at the
school.

"Okay, McGonagall said the train is in exact working order as it will be on the day Hogwarts opens
again." Theo hands them all copies of the parchment. "Draco and I will start at the front, and
Ginevra and Hermione can start at the back, and we can meet in the middle. Hogwarts will be a bit
more complex as the school has to agree to the changes we will be implementing. Do you two still
have that meeting with McGonagall?"

Granger nods and rubs her finger against the edge of the safety list. They both know the reason
behind the request.

"Have you decided if you will be taking the jobs?" Red asks.

They wanted them to. The idea of having both him and Granger at Hogwarts, so close to their
children, was an appealing one for all of them.

But to teach Potions, and for Granger to teach the Dark Arts… it seemed hard to accept. They are
sure there would be some pushback from the Wizarding World that an ex-Death Eater was teaching
the young.

No matter what the history books now teach, thanks to Granger.

But if anyone could work around a public dispute, it was Minerva McGonagall. Draco hadn't done
much beyond taking care of his family and staying true to his parole obligations in the realm of
service and work since the war ended.

He had always known an actual career would be an option, not a necessity.

Taking care of the money his family already owned and ensuring that it was growing instead of
depleting was what he thought he would do in the future.

Becoming a professor was never a plan.

But at the same time, neither was marrying a Muggle-Born. Defecting the Dark Lord and
becoming a double agent for the Disorder. Or adopting a child.

Some of the best aspects of your life were the unplanned ones.

He squeezes Granger's thigh, and she smiles.

"I can't speak for Draco, but I think I am going to take the position."

The couple across from them fail at holding in their happiness.

Granger averts her eyes and watches the landscape moving past through the window. "I think, I
think that is where the most impact could be made. Real impact. They are the future."

"They are." He agrees, and they all recognize what he is really saying.

I have followed you for this long, Granger. I'm not stopping now.

Theo claps his hands in joy. "Thank Merlin! The board asked one of my coworkers to take the
Potions position, and the man is an imbecile."

They all are laughing as a knock at their door has them shutting their mouths instantly. Their
wands are in their hands before Draco is even standing. A reaction they haven't lost.

Draco plasters himself to the side of the door as Granger does the same, and Theo and Red raise
their wands to the entrance.

Granger taps against her leg.

One, two, three.

Draco pulls the door open, and the short, stout woman screams at the multiple wands pointing in
her direction.

She ducks behind the cart in front of her and places her hands above her head. "Just treats! Just
treats!"

"Shit," Theo says for all of them as they lower their wands. "Sorry. We didn't know anyone else
would be on the train."

The woman peaks half her face over the cart and inspects them to be sure before rising and wiping
down the front of her clothes. "That is okay, dear. Headmistress asked to give you the full
experience the children will have in a few weeks. And that includes the candy cart."

She gestures to the rows of goodies in front of her.

"Anything you would like?" She bends behind the cart to look at something they cannot see.

Red picks up a sugar quill and hands a green one to Granger. "This is your favorite, right?"

As Draco pulls out a few sickles, Granger takes the treat and unwraps it.

"We will have to see about parents putting a magical cap on their children's spending, or Freddy
will blow his allowance in one train ride," Theo says as he looks over the candy for a choice of his
own.

"Oh, we have a few new items as well! Different flavors of Dragon's Smoke, pumpkin juice, hot
chocolate, and…"

Draco slaps down enough money for whatever the group wants and walks past to start on the
wards.

Anxious to get started. To make this place safe for the most important people in his life.

Because that he can do.

He can do this for Leah, and Freddy, and so many others who deserve to believe Hogwarts is
home.

He grabs Theo's arm because the man will struggle to decide over a snack unless he is forced to
make a decision.

But he pauses as Theo's face scrunches, and he doesn't move with him. Like he is confused by
something or…
"What's hot chocolate?"

Theo

Two years later

This is a bad idea.

Truly, it is.

Maybe Draco is right.

He could have sent so many other people to do this. It didn't have to be him.

Azkaban is freezing anyway, and Theo can't cast a warming charm. The only ones able to use
magic within the prison are the Aurors in front of them. The ones taking their wands and placing
them in secure holding lockers.

So now, Theo is once again surrounded by monsters, defenseless.

But by choice this time.

Maybe the accidental potion explosion last week in my lab did have side effects. Because Theo boy,
this is your worst idea yet.

"Hold out your arms."

Theo hears Draco's knuckles crack as the Auror eyes him in a way that shows he believes his
brother should be behind one of these doors instead of visiting.

"Last chance, Nott," Draco says as he stares down the dangerous-looking guard in front of them.

Theo grips the strap of his healing kit until the leather grinds at the friction. "I have to do this."

"You don't."

"I do. The research will be much easier to verify without a middle man between myself and my
patients."

He can feel Draco's eyes burning into the side of his head as he raises his arms to the side.

"Bollocks. That isn't why we are here and you…"

"Yes, it is, Draco."

I am a shit liar…

The Aurors raise their hands to do the manual pat-down that each checkpoint within the prison has
visitors go through. Theo flinches and is about to pull out the specific instructions, but the men
seem to remember the no contact clarification and cast the spell instead like they did at the last
checkpoint.

One of the men tilts his head to the opening doors. Instructing them to move through the last
checkpoint before…

You are safe, Theo.

He… They are behind secure doors. With suppression and walls filled with magic to make them
weak.

You are safe.

You are safe.

Draco waits patiently for what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours for Theo as his
concentration gets lost in the panic.

Everyone tried to talk him out of this for months as he set up the initiative at work. It started as an
idea to help further their research into Dark Magic and its lasting effects on people. Hermione and
other St. Mungo patients, like Neville's parents, had taken well to the magical healing process they
had created, which was now being taught in healing centers and organizations around the world.

It was his greatest accomplishment.

He had received an actual Order of Merlin for the work. Placing it on the fireplace mantle next to
his wife's. Because Theo was aware from the beginning that the one Ginevra gave him while in the
hospital was never his. And Theo had rightfully placed the award where it belonged years ago. On
the chest of Harry Potter before the coffin closed.

He didn't like to take ownership of things that were not his. Just like he also was antsy and
unhappy with the idea that his greatest accomplishments were behind him. He was only in his early
30s, but his notebook of inspiration was empty. His family and friends were taken care of as much
as he could.

What was he supposed to do now?

He didn't do well with sitting still. Ever since he can remember, he was always working to stay
safe. To come up with ideas, to research, to practice until he got the spells right for casting
protection wards, to memorize and recite ingredients for potions repeatedly in his mind that would
help with healing.

He was always working towards a goal. Something always needed fixed or protected.

But over the past two years, he found himself within a routine.
Meeting with his staff.

Appointments with patients.

Magical healing procedures he could do with his eyes closed or with his four-fingered hand if he
had to.

Teaching one or two classes.

Mixing together his created potions in his lab for the healing center.

He knew what to expect every day. And after a life of living in fear for the next breath, one would
think he would enjoy the simplistic peace.

But he found he didn't like it. His mind being too quiet was never good for him. The lack of
distraction in his head had led him to the back of his notebook. To some pages and ideas that he
didn't share with anyone. And those pages led to research, which led to experiments, which led to
potions, which led them here.

To Azkaban.

Theo squeezes his eyes shut and takes in a long breath. Counting the intake and outtake. Noticing
the thump of his fast heart rate on his neck.

Then finally, steps through the doors.

Draco sighs loudly but follows.

Because no matter how much his brother didn't agree, he would follow him anywhere. He always
did.

"The prisoners who volunteered are in interview rooms three through twenty-five. The first dozen
are located on the seventh floor. When you are through with them, we will escort you to the rest
located on the eleventh floor."

His floor.

Theo pauses at looking through his healing kit. "Twenty-two? You had that many volunteers for
an experimental trial?"

The Auror shrugs and casts the magic to open the next set of doors. They follow him down the
dark-lit hallway towards a set of stairs. "Even with the illegalization of dementors here, Azkaban
was built to offer no relief, so any possibility in the slightest, most of them will take."

Draco scoffs, and Theo knows everything tied up in the sound. He had been hearing it ever since
he was forced to make this desire public to continue with the initiative. The Ministry went back and
forth as well for months about whether they agreed before granting him permission to ask for
volunteers from the prison within his studies to advance the healing of lingering issues from Dark
Magic.

And while most people here have a history full of interactions with the Dark Arts, Theo knows he
can only help with the physical ailments caused by being the recipient of another's magic. Not the
broken and black remnants left behind by being the castor. Because wanting to wield Dark Magic
always claimed a price. And once claimed, it could not be removed or healed. Some decisions and
choices had lifetime consequences.

The Aurors lead them into the first interview room, and Theo begins the questionnaire.

Azkaban did not keep very good health records of their prisoners. Leaving Theo to speak, assess,
and cast his advanced diagnostic charts that magically transfer the reading onto pieces of
parchment for later evaluation.

It really is simple work. Any of his colleagues or even apprentices could do this. Probably should
have done this, Theo realizes, as the Aurors say they are complete with the volunteers on this floor
and need to follow them to the rest.

Because Theo can't remember a single fucking detail from the last two hours. He had been half in
the room and half in his head, apparently.

"Coming?" Draco asks as he hesitates again to follow the Aurors up another flight of stairs to the
eleventh floor.

To the floor.

Where Theo can't lie to himself anymore.

Because the reason he was adamant about being the one to carry out these interviews was on the
floor he is now stepping up to.

The door opens, and Theo pauses as the intense magic hits him.

"This floor holds our top security prisoners. The magic here is stronger. The interview rooms will
feel similar, and you…"

The Auror's voice fades as Theo's breaths start coming and going quicker. His lungs won't fill
themselves enough to satisfy his body. His brain tries to force air in faster as the only solution
against the invisible weight pressing against his chest.

It has been a long time since he has felt truly afraid. Even though his current fear is irrational, his
body seems to disagree.

Evolving him back into this barely-held-together version of himself that he became anytime he was
in close proximity to the man. He didn't even have to see him or hear his footsteps for the chill to
straighten his spine and his muscles to tense.

His subconscious knew when he was near.

Just like it does now as they take step after step. Draco is directly to his right, shoulder grazing his
as they move forward. A small gesture of comfort that makes Theo's breath hitch in appreciation.

His eyes can't help but take in the names above the solid stone doors without a handle or knob. The
only opening is a small rectangular window with bars placed close together.

There is no noise.

No sounds of life.

Because the people here are no longer living. Even with more humane initiatives passed over the
last decade, the people found guilty of such horrendous crimes that they ended up on this floor
became shells of human beings.

An environment that took lives and minds quickly in most cases.

Like Draco's father, who had lasted only a few months.

His brother never mentioned his father's passing. The few times he or Hermione had tried to bring
it up with him, Draco simply shrugged and said his father had been dead long before his heart
stopped beating.

But Lucius had been held on this floor.

With no interaction, no fresh air. The magic that became an integral part of each wizard and witch,
stripped.

The shoulder touching his slows down, and Theo does as well to keep the calming contact. He
looks over to see his brother smirking at a familiar name above the door to his right. They both
look through the window in silence. To the dark-skinned man hunched in the corner of the cell.
Kingsley doesn't acknowledge them, but Draco tilts his head in a gesture of accomplishment before
sinking his hands into his pockets and stepping forward.

That easy.

Fuck, he wishes it was that easy for him.

The familiar names continue as they walk. Theo's stomach turns at the acknowledgment of who
they used to be surrounded by, and his heart pounds in his ears louder and louder as he reads off
the names.

Looking for one.

Why? He still honestly has no clue. But he needs to see it. Him. Needs to.

Yaxley… no… Greyback… what a fucker… Lestrange… not it either… Nott… Nott.

His feet stop at the four letters above the door to the left.

On the left.

His father is caged in a room to the left.

Theo blinks slowly.

"Mate…" The shoulder is gone and is replaced with a cool hand that Theo jerks out of, and steps in
front of the door, peering into the left room.

He is there.

On the bare floor.

In the corner.
One leg crossed over the other, hands folded together in his lap.

Already looking back at him.

He is looking right at him.

And Theo stops breathing.

Maybe his father's body can feel when he was close, as Theo's does. A spine-tingling, hair-raising
sensation that Theo had grown a love/hate relationship with over the years.

"Father."

The man doesn't blink or move a single muscle. His chest doesn't rise differently or give any sign
that Theo's presence is doing something to him.

Like his is doing to Theo.

Somehow, even though his father is the prisoner, he still comes off as the stronger person. Which
is not a hard thing to do when it is Theo as the comparison for strength.

Shit… This was such a bad idea.

He can't function in this moment. He can't fight, or run, or do anything of actual worth as his father
takes over without doing anything at all.

Now that is power.

Power held in forks and clipped footsteps. In starvation and beatings. In making someone question
over and over again why.

Why, why, why, why, why?

Why did his father hate him?

Why did he hurt him?

Over the years, Theo had grown numb to wondering. A twisted form of acceptance grew instead.
That maybe some of this was his fault. That there was something about him that made people
dislike him, and even his own flesh and blood want to hurt him. His brain needed answers. It didn't
work well in the abstract. Problem and solution, that is how the world should work. So he believed
the problem was within something he couldn't see about himself, and hurting him had been
people's solution.

As he grew older, he buried the insecurities behind safety wards, potions, and artifacts that could
be understood and kept safe.

Becoming complacent within the content.

But then his father went and blew up that surface level of existence with one action that made no
sense. An action that made the answer Theo had come up with to the 'why of it all' hard to accept.
"You ruined it." His voice cracks. A noise that should be embarrassing, but something rises to the
surface as his bottom lip quivers. Taking up all the space within him to feel anything else. "Why?
Why did you have to go and ruin my veil of understanding? Why did you do it?! Why for me? Why
then?! You hate me! You see me as everything to blame for every mishap in your life! You do!
You have to! That has to be the answer!"

His face is wet. How did his face get wet?

Why are his hands pressed against the cold stone door and his nose touching the bars of the
window?

Why does his mind feel white? And since when can he feel colors?

"So why did you tell her to take me home?! Why father?! Why didn't you let me die? It doesn't
make sense!"

The taste of salt falls on his tongue as he gasps for air. Gasps for anything solid to hold onto.
Monsters were supposed to be easy to dissect. They were evil. Wrong. Dark. And they did dark
things. They beat their sons for enjoyment, stuck forks through flesh with a laugh, and shut doors
of left rooms without looking back.

That made sense.

Those actions all made his father make sense to him.

But ever since Ginevra told him what happened after he jumped between his father's curse aimed at
her, he had been questioning and pulling apart everything he thought he knew about his father.

Because the father Theo knows would have let him die.

The monster had no right to create the mind fuck within him by being a part of his salvation.

I want you out of my head! I want to stop giving you that space! Because you don't deserve it! I
can't figure this out. I can't fix this.

His father still hasn't moved. Hasn't so much as flinched or shifted his body weight. Maybe he isn't
in there anymore.

"You took so much from me! You don't get to take my answers! You don't get to take the person I
believe you to be and try to be something different!"

He curls his fingers into fists against the stone. Letting a raspy cry fall from his lips. He is losing it.
He has no control over what is coming out, but at the same time, the words and thoughts have been
living in his mind for so long, that none of them shock him. They seem like less than words
somehow.

Because maybe the why doesn't matter.

Maybe this was pointless. Fuck. Of course, it was pointless. What did he think? That seeing his
father again would make all of it go away? That maybe he was missing a piece of the story that
was his father to finally be able to understand all this shit.
Of how a father could hurt his child.

"I have a son. A handsome, funny, mischievous, kind son."

Theo takes a step back and wipes at his face as his mouth forms a half-smile at the image of
Freddy.

His world.

He became that as soon as Theo held him in his arms.

He continued to be that even when he misbehaved, was angry, or made a mistake.

"I… I have a life. A pretty great life somehow." He lets out a humorless laugh as he tries to figure
out how he got here.

No thanks to the man in the left room. No thanks to any of the shit he did to him. He wouldn't
thank his pain. He wouldn't appreciate it. He couldn't. Not anymore.

Theo couldn't live with the lie now as a father.

"You know what…" He takes another step back and straightens his shoulders. "You can keep the
forks. I don't need them."

He turns abruptly. Not looking back, focusing solely on the white in his head that keeps ringing as
he moves.

No one stops him.

Down and down he goes.

With nothing but.

BUM BUM

BUM BUM

BUM BUM

What the fuck.

What the fucking fuck, Theo?!

His visions tunnels.

The voices and screaming fade and fade as his feet fight to move faster.

To get out.

To feel safe.

To breathe.
He needs to breathe.

The magic of the prison falls away as he runs out the doors into the sun.

He thinks of home, and his family, and the safety as the twisting sensation of apparition takes him
when the cold hands grasp his shoulders.

His knees meet the dirt as he squeezes his eyes to stop it all.

Too much. Too much .

"Fuck." Draco falls next to him. His impact with the ground, and what Theo is sure to be vertigo
from apparating so quickly, turns the curse into a grunt at the end.

"Sorry. Just… give me a minute, and I'll be okay. I didn't think I, I didn't know I was going to react
like…" The words and thoughts come too fast for Theo's mouth to keep up.

What the bloody hell had just happened? Had he seriously screamed about forks? In public? In
front of people?

I wouldn't be surprised if those Aurors called the center and have me admitted to the second floor.

He groans and scrapes at the burning tips of his ears. It had been a while since he was this
panicked. Part of the routine of his life recently was comfortability. Having a sense of belonging in
his own skin and surroundings. He should focus on those positives next time he thinks up some
rubbish idea like this one had been. Why did he think he needed to go? What was the fucking
point?

"I'm proud of you, Theo."

It takes him a moment to stop his internal monologue of self-deprecation to catch what Draco said.

Theo raises his head in utter confusion. "Wait, what? You are proud of me for making a fool out of
myself? For breaking down and saying all that eccentric shit?"

"Yes. I am proud of you." Draco doesn't look away or hesitate as he speaks. "I have known you
most of our lives, Theo, but that was the first time I have ever seen you get angry about what he did
to you."

That can't be right, can it?

Theo had to have expressed anger toward his father at some point. The man made him feel so
much, too much over the years, that Theo had longed to stop feeling entirely. One of those
overwhelming emotions that drove him to almost end himself must have been anger, right? That
must have been a part of it at some point.

But maybe he experienced anger before he knew the name for it. When he was young, and
confused, and alone without any guidance from anyone on what the pain really meant and how he
should feel about it all. And maybe by the time he could recognize or pinpoint the sensation, it had
already been beaten out of him. Numb to the ability to see the actions through the lens of anger.
Because to be angry about abuse meant you had to believe you didn't deserve it.

And his father had made him believe with every kick, punch, cast, and hit year after year.

Theo had resigned himself to 11 rooms. To the idea of a created cage being the best he would ever
experience.

But then a snappy woman, an evil witch, a best mate, and his son made him believe he was worth
something.

If they thought so, how could it not be true?

Theo pulls his knees into his chest. "I guess I wanted an answer, like you received with your
monsters."

"Death isn't an answer; it is an end. Some things in life don't have answers, Theo. Some things will
never make sense, like your father's cruelty. But that doesn't mean your anger is unwarranted or
unneeded."

"Is that what you tell, Leah? To get angry?"

Draco shrugs. "I hope she has enough self-worth to become angry when someone mistreats her."

He holds out his hand, and Theo takes it. Slowly rising from the ground right outside the wards of
their property, but he pauses halfway up.

His hands brace against his knees as his eyes widen in alarm.

Because something is different. Something he doesn't understand.

"Theo?"

"I can breathe."

He can. For the first time in a long time, the weight on his chest that he has claimed as a part of
him is lighter. Much lighter. He doesn't know how to explain it as he rises the rest of the way.
Straighter. Taller. Different. With shoulders flexing and adjusting to the odd sensation. No longer
slumped, even though until this moment, he had been unaware they ever were in the first place. But
now, he can sense the change.

Draco squeezes his shoulder, tilting his head like he understands somehow. "You gave it to him,
mate. Even if he didn't give you an answer, you gave him your own."

Huh, I like that.

They move together through the wards and see two small bodies carrying what looks like bedding.
"Daddy!" / "Papa, come on! We need your help!"

The children try to wave as they walk the path between the homes. Leah struggles to hold the
mound in her hands, but Freddy is there before she can ask for help. Taking over half of the fabric.

Leah's cheeks flush as she tucks her hair behind her ear. "Uh, thanks, Freddy."

"Always."

Leah giggles and hides her face into her shoulder as Freddy trails after her into the house.

Draco tries to hold in his sneer at the scene while Theo laughs and pats him on the back.

The man had been in denial for months as their children's relationship seemed to change.

As Leah started to wear yellow because it was Freddy's favorite color.

And Freddy became obsessed with books on art, so he would know how to talk about Leah's
paintings and passions.

Everyone except Draco had accepted the new reality when Theo and Ginevra discovered Freddy
had taken it upon himself to move his entire bedroom to a room with a window facing Leah's.

They all witnessed the children's messages on parchment in the windows. Lit from behind. Making
the thick ink visible across the few yards between their homes. The two would write back and forth
into the early morning hours or until one of them took their candles away.

Yet still, Draco came up with excuses and could not accept that their children were growing up.

And changing in… that way.

He hadn't accepted it until he crawled underneath Theo's bed to add an M to Hermione's initials and
found the carved heart with BFN + LOGM next to his horrible attempt at a dragon.

Freddy was not permitted over to the Malfoy house for three days before Hermione could talk
some sense into him.

Theo knows he shouldn't take as much enjoyment as he should in watching Draco's misery. But the
man was being dramatic.

It was cute, their young crush on each other.

Hermione comes around the corner of the hallway with a stack of blankets and sheets covering half
of her body.

She peeks around it. "Under the bed?"

He and Draco both shake their heads at her question about where Theo's mental state is currently.

On the range from: a pot of burnt chocolate, to locking himself in a room under the bed with a
silencing charm, Theo would say his mental stability was at: wanting to create a new organization
system for the library level.

Doable.

Breathable.
Livable for sure.

She lets out a relieved noise. "Okay, good. Because I think it is a little too late to stop the kids
now."

"Stop the kids from what?" Draco asks, taking the pile out of her arms.

"From starting." She moves past them, walking backward and gesturing to follow. "We waited for
you this time, Theo."

Her eyes are on him as she speaks. Like they should make sense or something, but he is lost once
again.

"Waited for me, for what?"

Her mouth lifts slightly, but she doesn't answer him. Choosing to move to the side once they reach
the door, and allow him to figure it out on his own.

There are chairs everywhere throughout the empty room. Ginevra is standing in the middle,
pointing at spots, and Freddy is pulling two chairs to the instructed area as Leah observes with her
chin resting in her hand.

Hermione and Draco's bedding, Freddy's dragon he named Uncle Draco, Leah's bear she named
Uncle Teddy, and… yeah, that is his and Ginevra's pillows and blankets as well, are all laying in a
heap in the middle of where Hermione is now helping create a barrier of chairs.

With a mumble of something that sounds like 'damn ground again' from Draco, it finally hits Theo
what is happening.

"Are we…"

Freddy jumps and holds up a blanket. "We are building a tent! Come help Papa. Aunt Hermione
said you know how to make a loft."

I get to build it this time?

Draco drops the pile of hideous afghans Molly made for them every Christmas into his arms and
forcefully nudges him forward.

Because they are building a tent. It has been years, maybe decades, since they built one.

Theo inspects the area with a new perspective. Taking in the tools and room and being delighted
with the fact that this space offers much more options from the first one.

He quickly takes over. Getting lost in the excitement within himself and from the kids. Thank
Merlin they had gone with 12-foot ceilings instead of 8 like Draco had tried to talk him into.
Instead of just a loft, Theo is pretty sure with a run into Diagon Alley to get at least 38 more
blankets tomorrow, they could make it a two-story tent.

Two stories.

How fucking cool would that be?

The kids agree; very cool as the final sheet is placed over the main entryway.

"We call loft!" Theo yells as he grabs Ginevra's hand and scurries under the created masterpiece.
Much bigger than the first one, now that they had two more people joining them.

They each pick out a spot on the ground. Draco, casting the cushioning charms and moving
Freddy's bed set up a few feet farther from Leah's when the children are too distracted with the
starry night apparition he cast on the ceiling.

He also places a sheet barrier between the two sleeping arrangements.

Theo scoffs as he interlaces his fingers with Ginevra's. Leaning back. And smiling at Leah
correcting Freddy's pronunciations of the constellations.

"Are you okay, Theo? Truly?" Ginevra moves one thumb against the top of his hand, pulling his
wave of brown hair from his forehead with the other as she turns his face to her.

She had let him get lost in the joy of creating a new tent that would never be destroyed. Not if he
had anything to say about it. He has already considered a few wards to cast to ensure its
continuation. Maybe ask Blaise what the bloody hell he has protecting those damn bean bags.

"I'm okay. I… I don't think I ever need to go back."

Freddy and Leah both gasp as a shooting star travels across the apparition. The small particles fall
like glitter onto their faces.

Hermione and Draco seem to be whispering about wishes and things coming true before slowly
kissing one another.

"Papa, did you see the shooting star?!"

"It isn't really a star, Freddy. It is pieces of matter burning through the atmosphere, right Dad?"

Hermione rolls her eyes as Draco smirks and nods his head at their daughter's swotty response.

Freddy wipes a finger across Leah's face. "Well, whatever it is, it is all over your face."

Leah pats his hand away, but Freddy persists.

The two continue bickering until another flashing light travels across the apparition. They both
watch with their mouths open.

I hope you two always look at the world like that.

Freddy leans back on his hands. "Star or not, the pieces make something really pretty."

Yes, Theo agrees as two more light up the tent. They could. They can. They did. They do.

Because maybe they are all in pieces. Maybe everyone who continues to live also loses.

But maybe that doesn't matter. Or maybe, it shouldn't matter to the people who should be a part of
your life.
Even if things stay forks.

Even if items never get crossed out on the lists stuck to fridges.

Even if hair remains against cheeks.

Even if there are nine fingers instead of ten.

Even if wards will always be up.

Even with it all.

Every part that some would say made them hard to love.

They matter.

They are real.

And okay.

And worthy.

Worthy of so much.

All the pieces.

Fin.
 Art created by Dara and generously commissioned by @northrock_bindery.

.-.. . - / -- -.-- / ... -.-. .- .-. ... / -... . / .- / -- .- .--. / ..-. --- .-. / --- - .... . .-. ... .-.-.- / .-.. . - / - .... . -- / -... . /
... . . -. / .- -. -.. / .-. . .- -.. / - --- / .-.. . .- -.. / .--. . --- .--. .-.. . / - --- / .--- --- .. -. / .. -. / .- / .--- --- ..- .-. -. .
-.-- / - --- --. . - .... . .-. .-.-.-

- Nick (My real Theo)

 2000-2022

Chapter End Notes

I hope you all know I read every email, comment, message that you send and store
them in my heart to help me keep going.

Even though my anxiety hinders me from responding to everything, and I apologize

for that, I want to affirm that the greatest gift we writers can receive are your words in
return.

(And commissioned art ;))

So please, never stop.

(ANY INQUIRIES INTO PIP, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME VIA

CDLYNNWRITES@GMAIL.COM)

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