CHAPTER 5 INTELLECTUAL Aspect: AN ANALYSIS There it little difference in peaple, but that tittle difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. — Clement Stone Learning Objectives After studying this chapter, one should be able to: determine the different techniques in gaining intellectual growth and intellectual respect; analyze how the different techniques can help an individual; classify the different defense mechanisms; evaluate the different defense mechanisms that are applicable to a certain situation; and design a plan on how to incorporate these mechanisms and techniques into one’s life.Personality Development Activity Sheet 5 Name: Date: Course, Year, and Section: Prof.: —________—_ DIRECTIONS: Answer the following activity by marking the appropriate number to determine your communication strengths and weaknesses. Then, let some one whom you consider as best friend to answer the same activity for you to see if your answers and their answers match. Rating 1= Never 2- Rarely 3=Sometimes 4 = Usually 5 = Always 1. During discussions, I seldom talk. 12345 2. I can immediately say if the person 1am talking with is comfortable or tense. 12345 3. I consciously do things just to put others at ease when they are communicating with me 123 45 4. [ try to let others know that I am listening by asking some questions. 1 2 3 415 5. I consciously try to ignore things when I am talking with somebody else. 12345 6. I never try to distract others whenever they are expressing their feelings, emotions, or ideas. 12345 7. I try to make it a point to understand what the others are trying to tell me whenever we have contrasting points of view. 1 2 3 4°5 8. I make it a point not to be a part of an argument. 1 06 Gos 9. Although, I feel that the person whom | am talking with must be corrected, I never try to criticize them. 1234 10. I give direct answers and suggestions ifasked. 1 2 3 4 5 11. I make it a point not to give unsolicited advice. 1 2 3 4 5 es12. If feel that my listeners do not inderstand what Iam trying to $4¥> 27 3 I make it a point to reiterate, rephrase: 1 2 and summarize my thoughts. 13. I make it a point to ask my listeners from time to time for feedback in order r for me to know whether they understan 1234 5 me or not 14. When I feel that somebody does not agree with what Lam saying, | try to ask them for their opinions then, give some focus about their opinions. 15. When I talk to somebody, | try to communicate with them within 30 seconds. Sum up your score and the score your best friend gave you. Then, look at the provided grading key below for the result. You will be able to find the general impression of your level in communication skill. More specifically, you will find your weakest areas. So, try to re-read the numbers that deal with those areas, and then use them to begin improving those skills. If you want to know whether you are developing your communication skill as you go along, try to have a re-examination and compare the latest result from your previous result. GRADING KEY 61 and above You have an Excellent communication skill. 46-60 You have a Very Satisfactory communication skill. 31-45 You have a Satisfactory communication skill. 16-30 You have an Unsatisfactory communication skill 15 and below You have a Poor communication skill. Result: Rating: Verbal Interpretation: a ae | | | | | | | |Se SUMMARY: Give @ comprehensive ir patti evalt c © result of you communication exam whe perron 09) the Nit comes to the following: all communication skill is 1. My over 2. My personal communication skill is: 3. My social communication skill is:People love to invest in different things, such as clothes, jewelries, and other material things but leave out one major concern—their intellect. However, these material things do not help in establishing relationship with other people, land a job, and harmoniously perform in this world of haste. People should place great value in intellectual growth because intellect allows for proper decision-making amidst the hundreds of choices surrounding man. TECHNIQUES IN GAINING INTELLECTUAL GROWTH According to Frances M. May (2003), a member of Speaking Out at the Y Club, “Becoming distinguished is not as difficult as it may seem.” How true is this statement? People love to be recognized by others but what they do not love is to work hard to earn that recognition. If people will just make a systematic way of planning the course or steps that they will take, then things won't be as difficult as they seem to be. AcquirinG Postmive THINKING As stated by Lowell Peacock (1997), “Attitude is the first quality that marks the successful man. If he has a positive attitude and is a positive thinker, who like challenges and difficult situations, then he has half his success achieved.” If an individual possesses an optimistic attitude, no one can ever dissuade him/her from doing what he/she thinks is good for him/her. But, if an individual possesses a pessimistic attitude, he/she only thinks of bad things that may happen to him/her. One who is afraid to take a risk, is one who lives a miserable life. If a person takes risks, his life will be full of challenges and colors where everything for him will serve as gifts and opportunities that have to be grabbed. As stated by Alfred A. Montapert (1997), “The environment you fashion out of. . . your thoughts. . . your beliefs. . . your ideals. . . your philosophy... are the only climates you will ever live in.” If one thinks positively, so does his/ her environment work positively for him/her. So, how can anyone acquire a positive attitude? Here are some pointers: 1. Act, walk, talk, and think like the person you wish to become, People usually work positively if they feel that everything around them is on the positive side. But don’t you know that it is a mindset of a pessimistic individual? What is true and correct mind set is for an individual to act, walk, talk, and think what he/she wishes to become for everything around him/her will follow through, Whatever-a person projects.all bounce back to him/her. If a persond that person aroun thing ositi east’ & Negative attitude, then, everyrrr Se ae : Will have a negative aura. But, if a P him/her. Hf ¥ ill follow, attitude, everything will be the same fe verything else have a positive mindset, start now aM + wits. Never stop in ats ints and ambitions py thous. what your heart Ip you Ber on't stop believing yout true. As justified a things are true, Seize Successful, positive thoughts Your mind from thinking of all the hap! that you have for these thoughts will he y desires. In fact, if you have an ambition an pee in it, your body will strive hard to make it al coe by the Bible in Philippians 4:8, “Whatsocver 1oTTe oe ust, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoev things are lovely, whatsoever things are pure, age on these things.” whatsoever things are of good report . . . thin! . Peopl Exude an air of well-being, confidence, and Piney think they love to be with people who exude positive aura for a be true to will be influenced by this positivism. Although, this c: like to hav Some, it does not necessarily apply to all. If you would like re @ Positive attitude, you have to start within yourself because if you act, walk, talk, and continuously think positively, positivism will be naturally inherent into your system and even without an effort you will soon unconsciously give an air of confidence and purpose. Deal with everyone as the most important person on earth. The Holy Bible says, “what you sow is what you reap.” If you want to be treated positively, you have to treat others positively first. Everything that we do for others—good or bad— will come back to us in the same manner. So, if you treat others right, they will do the same to you. d. If we just ey have needs evel want to feel needed, important, and appreciated, a ae iH roe make others feel the same, they will treat eter YOU 1 Golden Rule says, “Whatever you do to othe, ‘flmilarly. As the you.” If you let others feel needed, impor feces they will want to make you feel the same way thea appreciated, 10. . Think that everyone is best. As sun, by i a little good in everyone and someting, it eine Velasquee, “There's the sun...” The lines of the song imply that, ges” little work to see their best to look beyond other people's, Pe°Ple would only try simple good deeds that people do, then lige uSt@Kes and focus on supposed to be. People find it easier to na: One's hag qiive as it is leeds withoutmaking an effort to look into one's because of a purpose. No matter there is still good holding on that in the worst of us and bad in the is what you will see, best. People act the way they do how seemingly bad an act is. action. There will always be good best of us, Whatever you focus on Don’ f brag about your bad health. Continuous blabbing about your bad health to others will only produce negative feelings resulting to irritation. So, if you want to talk about your bad health to other people, make sure that they are your relatives or closest friends so no misunderstanding will occur. - Look everywhere for best new ideas. St. Paul once said, “Forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead.” If you have done something bad in the past, better not focus on it and try to find the good reason why it happened so you can move on and find things that will be better for you. You may not know it but some things are presented to you in exchange of the thing that you thought was best for you. Stop yourself from lingering on the thing that caused you pain. Live your life, and look everywhere for the possibilities of success, 9. Avoid pettiness. What do you really want in life? A big house, car, and stable career? Then, do not focus on petty things because there are better things to use your energy, time, and effort. Never let yourself side track from your goals and ambition. You can only do this by putting all your effort in achieving what you want. 10. Cultivate a spirit of giving. As stated in the Bible under Ecclesiastes 4:4, “I observed that the basic motive for success is, the driving force of envy and jealousy.” People try to hold on to everything they have for fear that others will make them a loser. What they don’t know is that the only reason they are holding unto those assets is because of envy and jealousy. They are insecure with what others have and they wanted to have the same. But don’t you know that the more you give the more you will receive? If you try to hold on to whatever you have, the worst your feelings will be, but if you give freely to those who are in need, the more you will feel great. So, if you wanted to feel great, start giving Outunine A Berter VisiON ing to E, Paul Hovey (1997), “A blind man’s world is bound by wate ar a touch; an ignorant man’s world by the limits of his knowledge; a great man’s world by the limits of his vision.” A person with vision has no limits and can definitely do everything that he thinks will be for the achievement of his vision, But if a person does not havextricated that was © rtoa eee wherever the wing d.and goes ee wo wherever tin sae Mantra life direction. e some pointers: You a vision, he is likened to a person simila Jrom it’s branch that was blown by the win it blows him. If you do not know what you really your destiny takes you, then you are & person So, how does one outline a vision? Here ar have to.. tlining one’s in ou 1. Identify your vision. This is the most basic mele have difficulty vision. Although seemingly very elementary, ROP |i noat on defining their vision. Without a simplified ee the cards and find air aimlessly. For one to have direction, lay all the Cones Ake the most suiting vision. What does one really want? V Anyens sho really need? What does one really dream of Dad eeenience gives a prompt answer to all these questions kn ambition in life. 2. Analyze your present life condition. Achieving whatever you dream of having is not as easy as it seems. You need lot of effort, time, and money. But there is no difficult road for a person who is strong-willed and determined. The first thing you have to do in achieving your ambition is to examine where you are at present and how long will it take you to achieve the vision. This will definitely be difficult, but if you plan your path to success nothing is difficult. 3. Substitute all the little options for the one big vision. According to Jim Dornan (1997), “All dreams have a price.” People have Gifferent several options in life but if you really dream 5. Expose yourself to successful people you have to start mingling with succensfal te YOu modify yourself, This will greatly help you ach; ° eve your Vision to feel you belong, already have a feel of how to be a SUCCESSFal pen MOTE easily. Tf you for it and you are not going to st as they are. TSO} OP unless you ae 1, You will hunger “qually successful©. Frequently express your belief in your vision. If you are S° determined in realizing your vision, you will become more persevering and patient in fulfilling it. If you are confident outside, the more you will be confident inside. So, don’t stop yourself from Continually saying to others and to yourself that you are achieving your dream, Expect resistance to your vision. [t is very natural that people will think you are nuts if you keep on telling them that you want something, But, if you are so determined in achieving what you want, they will feel it and eventually believe in you. Don’t let them stop you from fulfilling your dreams, expect opposition of belief so that you will know how to handle it when it arises. 8. Eliminate negative thinkers as close friends. Negative aura can influence people and the more you get close to people who radiate this kind of aura, the more you will give in. So, before something like that happens, better keep off friends with negative attitude for you not to miss your journey to success. 9. Discover every possible opportunity to fulfill your vision. In order for you to achieve your vision, you have to be aware of all possible courses to success. People will not be successful if they are limited to only one path to achieve it. You have to be more than willing to try new techniques that will help you. But you have to stay firm on your vision. 10. Surpass normal expectations. According to Jim Dornan (1997), “No one achieves his dreams with average energy and effort.” If you want to be successful, you must work above the normal expectation of the people around you 11. Assist others who have a similar vision. “No man is an island.” You cannot work and achieve your vision alone. You need the help of other people who have the same vision as you have. They may also help you fulfill your dreams. If there is anybody who shares your vision, help him/her for if he/she fulfills the dreams first, he/she will help you realize yours sooner. Outunine A Better Goat According to Earl Nightingale (1997), “To achieve happiness, we should make certain that we are never without an important goal.” People only gain happiness if they achieve something good that can boost their ego. But, it is certain that people do not achieve something good without identifying a certain goal that will motivate them to work hard.e.are some pointers: 2 Her our goals? So, how are you going to outline your B . You have to —— yor . fy what ¥ 1. Crystallize your mindset. Se et might a deadline for its our goals and monitor fyour achieving Youre stage u want in life. Produce Se. Nothing is great a nieve what you want life. Stick to achieving it with all ur goal an will suit ¥ v Create a plan for acting yo achievement. Create a plan that every progress you have each day ©! 3. Cultivate a sincere desire for the things ¥' a strong aspiration to achieve your ae motivation than to have a sincere desire t in life own abilities. 4. Produce supreme confidence in yourself and cue best foot Don't settle for anything less. Always try to steP YOM "yo forward for if you wallow on your weakness, eed ‘will fall into apart but if you focus on your strengths, everything place the way you wanted your life to be. 5. Build a dogged determination to follow through on your plan. According to Jim Dornan (1997), “Opportunities never come to those who wait. They are captured by those who dare to attack.” So, if you really want to have something, go for it and don’t stop until you acquire it. You must be determined to fulfill what you want, like the ant building its house for the future. You've got to have the same effort for the realization of your dreams. Time MaNacement At present, the world is at a haste that ev: ery single minute must be accounted for, Nothing has to be taken for fi to do not waste time NOW and think about success ae ee eee Jim Dornan (1997), “Successful people realise ies ee So, how will you manage your ti : me pointers: You have to... correctly? Here are some 1, Learn to work in blocks of time, ij using your time productively 1, JUSt try te will achieve greater results in goeh ett build cmentum aed there will be unavoidable o handle them well especially You can refocus immedia attention. 4P Momentum and @ short i ; ircumstances ther fai of time. If ever if You make a e me deadii omethi 7 ine o; i ly after Something digtrects oe oul SemenAvoid daydreaming, procrastination, and laziness. Time management, as stated by Jim Dornan (1997) is “self-management. If you want to manage your time, you have to exert great deal to manage yourself. There are times that you feel lazy where you tend to daydream and procrastinate instead of work towards your goal Procrastination will only block you from achieving your dreams sooner. Determine your priorities. So, you've finally realized that you have to work in blocks and avoid iaziness. Therefore, you are now ready to work for success. But wait a minute; have you determined your priorities? If not, do so for this will help you set your plan for the day and this will help you gain what you want in your life. 4. Maintain your priorities. Once you've determined your priorities, you have to work for it to stay in place. For your priorities to be deeply rooted in your system, you have to work for it as if somebody is always trying to steal it away from you. If you have this kind of mindset, nobody can stop you from fulfilling whatever you plan. 5. Act on your priorities. Once you have determined what should be done to let your priorities stay in shape, you now have to act on it to keep it going. People always try to act depending on difficulty. It is okay to work that way. Anyway, people have different ways in acting towards their goals but don’t you know that it is better to work on the degree of effort so that it will be easier as time and priorities go by? OvERCOMING STRESS, FRUSTRATIONS, AND CONFLICT As the world fights to become successful, so does the person that grows old with it. As people fight to go along with the present speed of its society; stress, frustrations, and conflict keep coming up to thwart people from attaining what they want in life. What is stress? People have to go with the speed of society where they belong or they will be left behind. In order for an individual to cope with the changing society, he/she also has to lean how to handle stressful events in his/her life. But, for an individual to know how to deal with these inevitable circumstances, he/she must understand what stress is. Ss 4 ical, mental, and emotional strain causing people to. feel depressed and frustrated.hing in their jlo anything e. chieve that People are so competitive nowadays- ue is so hard nrneae among Power to be on top. However, getting On WP aisiculties. cea One needs to go through a lot of obstacles @N° Ty things others make one stressed out. There ar People out and these are 1. Physical factor. This is a type of fa biological or external attributes resu! one's goal Stress Factors ad nvolves strain on the ctor that ! in attaining iting to hindrance | hat involves apprehension plete one’s tasks. capability of a 2. Mental factor, ‘This is a type of factor t of @ person in intellectual ability to com, ir 3. Social factor. This is a type of factor that ee Sore Person to harmoniously relate or interact with 0 What is frustration? According to the Bible under Isaiah 8:17, “The Lord has hidden Himself from His people, but I trust Him and place my hope in Him. Do not think that God had forsaken you when you feel down and frustrated. The Almighty will not give you something that you cannot handle. It is true that people have to go along with the pace of the Society where they live. But, an individual also has to learn how to cope conflicts. What is conflict? our everyday life, people encounter several opposi clings come up. In owe. 2nd overlapping choices or alternatives that make us i ; anxig or best for us. The instance where wn have te eo Which one is comrece more synchronized appearance of j i ‘O0se ‘ncompatible or mee tween Sp or tually special goals or desires is called conflict.Types of Conflicts that eeeOPle find their way in achieving their goals in lif, itis inevitable both eae Mill be encountering a lot of obstacles which need decision— Rood and bad. As these choices overlap conflict arises and these will be in the form of: 7 cauble-approach conflict. This type of conflict is also known as quhroach-approach conflict. In this kind of conflict, people are faced with both choices that appear to them as mutually positive. For Shen: YoU think of eating cake and lasagna at the same time © having your chemistry class. What will you do? Double-avoidance conflict. This type of conflict is also known as avoidance-avoidance conflict. When it comes to this type of conflict, People will have to think harder or else they will come up with the worst effect because the choices that appear at once are both incompatible or negative. For example: You are trapped in an elevator with a person whom you dislike but the elevator operator announces that it will be a couple of hours before the elevator goes back in operation. What will you do? 3. Approach-avoidance conflict. This type of conflict is also known as negative-positive conflict. People who experience this type of conflict have to choose between negative or positive valences of choice or get stuck with a choice that results to a bad choice. For example: A guy wants to marry his girlfriend of 10 years but lacks financial fund to complete the goal. What will he do? 4. Multiple conflicts. This type of conflict is also known as double approach-avoidance conflict. This type of conflict is the most difficult amongst all types of conflict for all conflicts. You will think it unbelievable but people usually come upon this type. For example: A poor kid desires to finish his studies, but his family is in a deep financial difficulty compelling him to work and deal with all the difficult situations in life just to continue his dream. If you were on his shoe, what would you do? rN) Everyone is affected by stress. In fact, even the fully organized and successful people also get affected by it. But they deal with stressful events more successfully than the way we do. Here are some pointers to overcome stress, frustrations, and conflicts. Cultivate a proper outlook. You sometimes get stressed out of small difficulties but don't you know that if you put vision into proper perspectives you will see the bigger picture of what you really are stressing yourself about. As an illustration, parents usually get mad with kids who receive a failing grade. But don't you know that there are also instances when parents won't be tad if you explain your situation to your parents well? To give you an example of what I'm saying, here is a letter written by a college girl to her mother: i.ter, 1 think sit semester Since I have been away from college oF what 18 ana it's time that I bring you up to date cont ith aormitory Ife, da Shortly after J arrived at college, ! got bored eee Oh the money) 1 stole $10 from my roommate's purse ie pole a few blocks Honda motorcycle and crashed it into a telephone Fi ciucient who from the college. I broke my leg, but the young rescued me. e commer lives upstairs from the apartment house at th d health, and k to goo He took me in, set my leg, nursed me back 19 Oe now thanks to him I'm up and around again. We w ie since we re having that we're going to be married as soon as possiD ® disease that keeps Some trouble on the blood test because there is adiseare ” showing up. We do hope, however, that we will be thereafier to live with you and Dad. Tknow that you will love the baby as much as you Sea se though it will be of different religion and race. But ple ee understand. The reason that we have to come home and stay is because my doctor friend wants to get out of medical school because of all the attention he was giving me and my condition... Reaily Mom ~ I didn’t steal $10 from my roommate’s purse, or rent a Honda motorcycle, or hit a telephone pole, or break my leg. I did not meet a young doctor nor are we going to get married. There is no disease or test or baby to worry about. [won't be home to live with you and Dad, and he won't be either. However, I am geiting a “D” in geometry and an “F” in geology, and I wanted you to accept these grades in their proper perspectives. even Stop running from risks. The simplest way to understand this part is through what Charles Swindoll’s (1997) statement: There are no absolute guarantees, No reliable designs. No completely risk-free to be that neat and clean... Fail-safe plans. No perfectly arrangements. Life refuses Running scared invariably blows up in one’ risk crashing, All who walk risk stumbling, In ee au wha fy something. » all who live risk To laughis to risk appearing the fool. To we sentimental. To reach out for another is to risk 1 K appearing feelings is to risk exposing your true self. "To love een To .e love in return, To hope is to risk despair. To try °° ISK not being TY is to ri i From the above statement, we can now sg, eee and that whatever you do, expect, that there ‘ay, that life is a risk will be taken from you because a Person oa * Some things that opposite worlds at the same time and gee ioe never experience it, ep is to ris) Sera eter omnesoe your areas of strength. People tend to get stressed if Want) £0.Werk on something that does not really interest them a Sure way to avoid stress? Try focusing on your strengths a You will see that you will be a stress-free individual. Always be onscious of all your efforts for you might already be working on your strengths. How? If you make mistakes and feel challenged, instead of experiencing stress, then you are probably working on your area of strength. But if your mistakes make you feel threatened and tense, you are probably working in an area of weakness Prevent the rat race. With the present situation of our country, many believe that if you do not work hard you would be left behind The action where people try harder to compete with other is what we call the rat race. This is a race where people have to struggle and work very hard just to cope with all their present needs. But don't you know that this style of competition is not healthy anymore since it brings about stress to an individual? So, how do you keep yourself from getting into the rat race? You need to work hard but be sure to love what you are working hard for. Set a goal and strive to achieve it. But be sure that when you work for the achievement of your goal, it won't be detrimental to your family, your health, or your fellowmen Dismount from the path of overwork. People want to be the best. In order to do that, they tend to overwork themselves to the point that they load a lot on themselves in the middle of the work road. But don’t you know that sometimes you have to give up what is merely good in order to do what is best? Produce strong conviction. As stated by Dr. Harold Dodds (1997), “It’s not the fast tempo of life that kills, but the boredom. It is the feeling that nothing is worthwhile that makes men ill and unhappy.” The mind is a potent tool that pushes body and sou! to set oneself to success or failure. According to Friedrich Nietzsche (1997), “If we have a why we shall get along with almost any how.” How does this happen? If people believe that they are going to be successful, they will be successful for they will find means and ways to make that conviction a reality. Give up your rights. Everybody knows the quotation “It is better to give than to receive.” People find greater happiness in giving than in receiving. To cite an example, teachers continuously share their knowledge to their students without expecting something in return. Teachers feel greater satisfaction than an agent selling a Jot of products and gaining his commissions. Sometimes, for you to achieve such happiness, try not to focus on your rights for sometimes doing So gives you peace of mind and a stress-free life.ir Cliche > avery popula rash tion where the Reprogram your mind. “Trash in, t! cae es used by computer programmers teas into the SySter ae computer prints whatever the encoder If computer prints the computer encodes incorrect information "cir minds the it. Like a computer, people feed informa ey pelieve in those are sometimes incorrect. Sometimes 107% y information and they act on it. If you want ¥' nto your head ities 0° free, try programming good ideas and opportun So you can work on them positively Bore 9. Turn your focus outward. Sometimes, people art 9 CAT TA that they always put themselves above the res - : hurting or to fact that people need others to heal them if they are During OF 1 rejoice with them if they are happy. If you want to gain’ a positly aura, try focusing on others’ need for it is in their needs — will learn and succeed 10. Unload stressful events to someone. When going through stressful events in life, try unloading problems to someone else. Keeping Stress to oneself causes health risks like a heart attack. Find your most trusted and loyal friend to talk about all things that bother you and live a free and peaceful life. 11, Find a fun way to release stress. Though people try to avoid stress, itis inevitable to encounter stress. But through proper action and mindset you get the hang of it and defeat it with a smile. For you to do this, try to find something that could occupy your time in a healthy and fun way. Defense Mechanism Pointers are already presented for people frustrations, and conflicts on a conscious level’ eat ac . it living there are a majority of frustrations ant ae day-to-day encountered in an unconscious manner. Thus, for ects that are things that we encounter, the development of uneenese intolerable efforts will be the result - Defense mechanigme O"S1OUs adjustive Defense mechanisms. These are uncon; ’ : , ons individual to guard himself against the risk of breakers attempts of an and to alleviate the tension and anxiety resy} “78 down of the ego frustrations and conflicts, ulting fr ‘©m unsolved Tvpes of Derense MEcHANIsMs to resolve stress, in men’s effort nienene frustrations and confi know that they are already using various technigy,.. “tS they do not maintain their balance in coping with trey lite’s gis nt help them ‘ations, Thi E - These are: ae RNR eeeCompensation. This is a type of defense mechanism where - individual concentrates on a certain activity with an inereased ae in an attempt to make up for some fecling of real or imagine? inadequacy. To further explain this, the type of compensation Is categorized into two, namely: direct and indirect compensation. a. Direct Compensation. This is a type of compensation where the individual conceives vigorous yearning to succeed in an area with which he experienced failure or inferiority. To cite an example: Charlie is poor in Math and is the reason why he is devoting most of his time studying it b. Indirect Compensation. This is a type of compensation where the individual tries to excel in a different field when there has been a failure in another. To give an example Kimberly is poor in Math and is the reason why she is taking most of her time to excel in English Fantasy. This is a type of defense mechanism that is otherwise known as daydreaming. An individual makes some imaginary activities that provide escape to some poor and frustrating reality which give satisfaction as he/she obtains imagined achievement and success. To give an illustration: It has been a long time since Yvonne imagined herself wearing a mini-skirt. However, it is very evident that she does not have the physiological capability to wear one because she is presently sporting a full figure. Thus, whenever she wants to wear mini-skirt, she resolves it by daydreaming. Identification. This is a type of defense mechanism where an individual relates or associates himself closely with the behavior of another individual or groups. It is also the mechanism in which the individual boosts his confidence by designing himself after another person. An example of this is: Charinna always brags herself by telling her friends that she is connected with the present President in order for her to gain respect from her friends. Projection. This is a type of defense mechanism where an individual characterizes his own unfavorable traits or impulses to another. To illustrate: Claire admits that she is irritated with the boastfulness of Lea. What she does not know is a lot of people notice that she has the same attitude. Repression. This is a type of defense mechanism where an individual unconsciously eliminates an undesirable memory or excludes disturbing sexual and aggressive impulses fro consciousness. To cite an example: James is presently broker. hearted because his girlfriend broke up with him. Every time fy hears a name similar to his girlfriend, he asks his friend to shut ae or literally change the topic. :sm where an _. mechanism Wack 6 Regression. This is a type of eae Gee faa individual's action or behavior is like @ 178i MT iand at kab 8ive an example: Liza has a date with ejutention and asks ne While shopping, something catches her mend tells her that the boyfriend to buy it for her. But her poy ga stomps her fect and thing does not suit her. Because of that, Liza walks out acting like a kid anism where an ‘To illustrate this: 1, because she will hat Mitch does he just mec! Procrastination. This is a type of SEE individual delays or puts off an unpleasan ainne Mitch’s mother asks him to cook his Ce ae be late, however, cooking is one of the leas s : s hungry, So, what he did was play all day and when he wa’ bought his own food outside. Displaced Aggression. This is a type of defense eee where the individual switches a less intimidating object for the ae object of an impulse. To give an example: Leanne’s mother punishe Leanne because she broke the vase that her mother dearly loves. She cannot fight back with her mother so when she saw her younger brother, she reprimanded him without apparent reason. Rationalization. This is a type of defense mechanism where an individual uses logical reason whenever an action or event hurts them. This mechanism has three types, namely: sweet-lemon, sour. grape, and escape goat. a. Sweet-lemon. This is a type of rationalization Process where the individual says that what he/she has (which is not really b. Sour-grape. This is a type of rati ‘i individual says something ban to objec meroeess where the have but actually like. To cite an example: Jowene/ She cannot Claire for how many years now, Unfortunateres has courted person that Claire wants, so he ig innumeraby i. es is not the ~¥ turned down. As a result, he continuously sa, ‘ : YS th beautiful for him and he only courted Sera Not really that c. Escape goat. This is a type of Tationalizay ‘9 be a fling. the individual tries to avoid the probleme "Process where bug him/her. To illustrate this: i zs Which that was owned by his Sister, When gj = broken Something Und thi Who % 1S out she ing thet ‘Ut, when she talk to her as © Was goi, 00n a 80ing todo immediately suspecteg it was was interrogating him, he kent something and that he would tale his task. S he finished10. Denial. This is a type of defense mechanism where an individual Feluses (0 recognize the presence of danger or thyeatening condition. To illustrate: Nicole is very poor in Algebra. Try as she may but her Srades continuously go down. During the distribution of grades, telling herself that she is going to pass the subject, 11. Reaction Format: the individual expresses overstated ideas and emotions that are contradictory to th she keeps on ion, This is a type of defense mechanism where present disturbing unconscious impulses and desires. To cite an example: Christopher unendingly tells his friends that Joana is not his type, but deny as he may, he holds a special feeling for Joana 12. Sublimation. This is a type of defense mechanism where the individual re-channels sexual and aggressive energy into pursuit that society considers acceptable and even admirable. To give an example: Luis is a teenage idol. Everytime that he goes out, he is expected to be fine young man. One day, someone accidentally bumps him but in order to maintain his clean image, he does not act severely towards the person Techniques in Gaining Intellectual Respect “Let us never negotiate our fear, but lot us neuer fear to negotiate,” — John F. Kennedy's inaugural address, 1964 Communication comes easy to people. However, differences in social status, intellectual capacity, language proficiency and the likes cause people to fear communication. Some easily get intimidated with people who speak eloquently. But don’t you know that you will never fear anything if you just equipped yourself with the proper intellectual capabilities? ComMUNICATION SKILLS People do not live for themselves. People live for others for No man is an island. People, no matter how they try to stay away from others, will still reach a point that they will be the one to look for HELP from others. Communication ties people with one another. Without it, the world will be a chaos. What is communication? Ferguson’s (1998) Webster Illustrated Contemporary Dictionary an Encyclopedic Edition defines the word communication as “The act of communicating; exchange of ideas, conveyance of information, etc.” In the simplifiedess of -way proc! - us two definition, communication is @ oo another with eee of transmitting information from one person illustrate this continuous Speaking, listening, reading, and writing. TO Process: Person TWO Person One SENDER FUNCTION ‘Acceptance of the transmitted 1. Construction of ideas, feelings, ta eermation by the sender and intentions into information A interpretation and evaluation ; n ae esponse to 2. Transmission of information 3. Internal resp message Table 5.1. First stage of the communication process from person one to person two. After the first stage of communication, person one is the one talking and person two internalizes all the information transmitted and eventually lets out a feedback. Below is the second stage. Person OnE Person Two RECEIVER FUNCTION SENDER FUNCTION 1. Construction of ideas, feelings 1. Acceptance of the transmitted and intentions into information information by the sender. that can be understood by the 2. Interpretation and evaluation receiver of transmitted me: 2. Transmission of information 3 esa Internal response to the message Table 5.2. Second stage of the communicat, ication from person two to Person one, eee Classification of Communication People believe that communication ony ; conversation. But don’t you know that ooanvolves Pe happen between you and yourself? How dart thin Cation sometimes out by reading the two classifications of wot happen? Find this intrapersonal and interpersonal communication “ation, such as ople to people 1. Intrapersonal communication, Cc sociologists and the one who Presenteq Hats 2 ONE o; Self,” suggests that people get to know th ki eyes of the others. People learn that an indivy snselves th; tual entialpersonality throu, learn his/her 0 herself through is can also himself/ gh the help of others. But an individual wh personality by communicating with Meditation or intrapersonal communication. This 8 classification of communication where a person tries 10 communicate with himself or herself and tries to learn something about oneself, 2. Interpersonal communication. This classification of communication is the opposite of intrapersonal communication Since in this type of communication a person needs to have Significant others to learn and converse with People Involved in the Communication Process It is already understood that communication happens between two conversing bodies. Since there are two people, let us find out who these are 1. Sender. This person is also known as the speaker, transmitter, lecturer, etc. This is the person that initiates the communication process 2. Receiver. This person is otherwise known as the listener, audience, crowd, etc. This is the person that responds and gives feedback to the person who initiates the conversation. Symbols in the Communication Process People think that communication is only focused on speaking or verbalizing something. What they do not know is that communication involves more than that. Symbols of communication discuss the things that are done in the communication process and it has two types. These are: 1. Verbal. Words and languages primarily presented this type of symbol. In addition, it is a type of symbol that represents speaking per se. It is where a person talks and verbalize something. 2. Non-Verbal. This type of symbol is presented by all types of expressions, gestures, sign language, writing, drawing, and body languages. In addition, it is a type of symbol that doesn't need speaking to express one’s emotion, idea or opinion towards something. It does not involve anybody to talk about anything just to communicate.Aspects in the Communication Process ‘SPEAKING m beast,” declared ro) “Language is the Rubicon that divides Bee that separates by the Philologist Max Muller (2002). It is the K°S © ings cannot be man from animal. Without it, heritage and 1°°7 099), «The world transmitted. In fact, according to Richard Lederet 1" that people we perceive is the world we see through words. ecessarily follow that are given the gift of language but it does not it is better to listen every individual should talk. There are times when 118 1 1s than to talk knowing “of what we cannot speak, We ee People, professional or not will stand among the 1 paras a to express themselves with confidence and ease. How? Since people are already equipped with language, they must Jearn correctly and ethically. How can you speak confidently? Here are some pointers: You have to. a. Identify what you want to say. It’s nice that people learn to communicate with others but sometimes, communication is disrupted with jumbled information. How are you going to ease this out? Try putting first what matters most. You can only do this by organizing your thoughts before you talk. b. Control fear. It is true’ that fear is our defense mechanism. But, why fear talking in front of the public? Afraid to be laughed learn more. Therefore, conversatio "1 others for us to d. Think before you talk. A perso on a pee eet than a speaker whe ea ion 3 outline of information. if nPoTAneously talks listen to you with interest, try to or’, YOU want others to because ifyou do this, you will deo ee Your thoughts first € Chan, Ce Of mistakes. °rBanized speech isBelieve in your message. Listeners will easily detect if the Person talking in front of them is just blabbing. Try to believe in your message because if you do it, your verbal and non- verbal communication will follow through. Repeat major points. There are messages that need to be repeated for a person to really get your point. So, if you want 7 be understood, try stressing your major points by repeating them. 8. Find out what your listener wants. To acquire most of the conversation, try focusing on your listener. How will you be able to do this? Simply by asking questions and listening to their answers. LisTENING The hardest part one has to achieve is the art of listening. According to Ferguson's (1998) Webster Illustrated Contemporary Dictionary, an Encyclopedic Edition, “To make an effort to hear, to pay attention, as to warning or advice.” It is true that people hear a lot every time they hear other people talk. But, hearing is different from listening. How? Hearing is merely using your ears without proper internalization of what the speaker really wants and feels. So, how will you listen emphatically? Here are some pointers: You have to... Prepare to listen. People sometimes have no choice but to listen. But, if this listener is really not ready to hear the speaker out, no response may be drawn out. For you to be able to emphatically listen, you have to condition yourself first before you let others talk to you. a Focus on the speaker. To have an effective communication, you have to really focus on the speaker. How will you do this? ‘Try attending physically by looking at the speaker and inclining forward if the speaker is too far and you can’t hear the message clearly and mentally by involving all your senses to the speaker's intention and message. Screen-out distractions, If you put yourself in the shoe of the speaker, you can say that you will only feel important if the person you are talking with will ignore everything that surrounds you.ke: on the speaker ry focusitt pet lost in the or ¥erer proud when he/ hing from him/her. If you do not have jisten to tapes to gain you ‘pie don’t do anything Pro listen to inspirational 1 our knowledge about fa your society. Concentrate on the message i and never let your mind wander ¢ conversation. Nothing will make 4 ome! she knows that you have learned S ©. Listen to tapes while you © f anything to do, it will be better i! More information. As in commute, but sleep but if you cannot sleep Bae and educational tapes for you to broa on what is happening and about to hapP Writing : is like having As stated by Patricia L, Fry (2003), “Keeping a journal Is te 208 a heart to heart talk with yourself.” How does this happen}? Ha Mone abandon keeping a diary along with their ropes and aha Seine cane know that if a diary helps kids during their time, it cou! thing for you at present. Writing down your ideas and emotions help bring them into focus So you can cope with them. It is like talking to someone with an unbiased Suggestion. You see, if you write everything that comes into your mind, the more you will have a better decision-making. So, how will you write professionally? Here are some pointers: You have to... a. Keep a journal. This is a daily process where a person records his/her ideas, thoughts, feelings, and emotions for future references. b. Use an outline. This helps you organize your thoughts as you Jot down information and experiences, of how your mind and personality worl, to do this? Try having the co letters.ComPoNeNTs oF Warne More Errecrive LETTERS son will be ed to do a friendly letter. he/she will neously answer yes, but if you ask the same person (0 make @ siness letter, he/she might hesitate. Why on earth do people act like that? Is it because they cannot think of something to say? Afraid that they will not like what you are going to write? Afraid that you will not get the right term for what you are going to say? Or, afraid that your letter will be junked? Whatever is your reason, it will now be solved for this topic will discuss how effectively you can write business letters. These are: : a. Write a purpose statement. People sometimes try to write their head out without focusing on what really matters. A purpose statement helps a person reprogram his/her concern and lets him/her stay on the issue at hand when writing. It gives the purpose and the scope of writing b. Get to the point quickly. People will not read your letter if you ramble and jumble your words. Say what you want, write it quickly and get to the point. c. Explain abstract words. People sometimes don't know what you are getting at when you write abstract words. So, if you write something similar to it, be sure to elaborate on its meaning to avoid confusion. d. Use gender neutral language. There are people who are called “sexists.” Sexists are known to be the people who resent being considered as the other sex. So, be sure to use correct gender language or else your reader will junk your article. You may use “he” for quite sometime but be sure not to overuse it or else it will serve exclusively for the boys. ¢. Express emotion. People love to empathize with someone whom they think is fragile and needs help. So, be sure to express your emotion in your letter to catch empathy. {Keep it simple. People don’t like long and complex information. So, you better make your letter short and simple. g. Be concise. Being concise involves clarity, crispness, and power of the message. It will help you gain more readers if you are concise in style. ' h. Use short sentences. People love reading articles that have more impact and power in it. You can say that it has impact if your letter is easier to read and understand. So, avoid writing jrrelevant information just to make your letter long.Reading ist be well read. You you want to be respected by others: YOU ir you want to must be fully equipped with information APE or others are communicate well, you must be open to informavon os vitt surely giving you. Reading helps you gain more oe of course, reading help you a lot when you try to speak and write nd events. jut things @ Sreatly influences the mind-set of people about on pointers: You So, how can you read effectively? Here are 8¢ have to... a person should do. For a. Read. This part is the hardest thing Sai enBue dont some people, ne oe ae ieeanie Beiter ou know that reading wi - eee and writer, How? Reading helps oa an ae information and experiences shared by others. An rae pu hearing about other people's successes and achievements, for them to boost themselves. So, why not read now? b. Keep up with current events. You can become a good conversationalist or writer if you are well-versed with current events. How will you be equipped with current issues and events? Reading magazines, newspapers, journals, and through television, radio, internet, and as well as the people that surround us, c, Read something inspirational. Read information ing does not only give » issues, and events. It also soothes and guides one’s soul in times of need and consolation. How could this be? Reading inspirational books like the Bible and the Koran. d. Use the Internet. The Electronic Mail is very useful nowadays. thas tremendous amount of information both current and past. The Power of Motivation At present, people are bombarded h myri i information to sort through; choices with which wit ©! Choices and in response to what they thought they need. Neete ne RAVE to choose action so as to complete with the fast-paced Society How on earth do this people act? Why do they act as ¢ they belong to. reason why they act the same way they do? Ityeg. gp ouet? |8 there any reason possibly be? If your answer goes hand-inshy what could that wants, desires, urges, goals, aspirations, motives «288d with needs, then you are walking on the right path, that 1 Mode, and purpose, motivation? Motivation is a continuo IVATION. What is Ves a person to i US Proce: act on something in order to satisfy their nese ne dri i f fAccording to Fe Tguson’s (1998) Webster Mustrated Contemporary instigate ian, Encuctopedic Edition, it is “to provide with a mouve: ee ae ce. It can be literally explained as, if a person needs Of it, that is maak He/she believes that he/she misses it or is deprived peed Of fog tivation. To cite an example: If a person is hungry (in- Of food), then he/she is deprived of food. To satisfy this need, he/ she has to look for food to eat CLASSIFICATION oF Motives There are a lot of things that push a person to move and some of these are biological or emotional in nature. To have a better understanding of how we get into action, some philosophers classified them into two. These are: 1. Lower order need. Physiological need is the other name for this type of order need. It is known as the lower order need since it represents the primordial need of people which satisfies all the basic needs of human, such as food, shelter, clothing, air, warmth and cold, rest and sleep, sex, and waste secretion 2. Higher order need. This is otherwise known as the psychosocial need where the need for satisfaction does not focus on the survival needs of human. It is called as such since it focuses itself in gratifying the needs of human for love and belongingness, accomplishment, recognition and acceptance, self-realization, and actualization. Hierarchy of Neeps The widely used distinction of motive is presented by Abraham H. Maslow where he illustrates the five levels of ascending needs of human. To give you a clear illustration, the following figures are presented: To have a clearer understanding, these basic needs are explained as follows: 1. Physiological needs. This need is the most basic and common ayy among all other needs because this type of need focus. nee arent needs of human, such as food, shelter, and clothing, te cis why it is also known as the basic biological need. 2, Safety and Security needs. This type of need.concerns itself with ‘o harmoniously cope with its society, such ae medicine, education, insurance, and other needs that satisfy human needs to become sociable, peaceful, and harmless.cof need is alse Known This (YP need of as Wy will feel belong and Love and belongingness nee need since it to be a part of a certain group W =e vy be achieved if'an only be 4. Self-esteem needs. This type of need can needs of human ich the: ‘individual has successfully passed the WAVE qgition. it is a need and has experienced to love and be love achievement in where human beings boost their ego for life greater and longest to achieve Self-actualization needs. This is the highest terealize everything kind of need since it focuses on one’s need to se tt that he/she have gone through and achieved i eo Self-actualization need Higher Order Self-esteem need Needs Love and Belongingness need Safety and Security need _— Needs Physiological need Figure 5.1. Abraham H. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs REINFORCEMENT THAT Motivates “It just needs a little motivation.” How many times have you heard this sentence? Everyday, people are working so hard to achieve something and at the end, whatever itis that they think ought to hav is rewarded or eradicated through punishment. These actions for pes Ta to either continue or eliminate the action are called the fener Types of Reinforcement According to synonyms.com, Reinfor: strengthens or weakens the behavior that forms. These are: at is “a stimulus that Produced it” and it has many 1. Positive reinforcement. This j,Negative reinforcement. This is a type of reinforcement that elas aversive behavior in order to eliminate or discard @ aeons action done by an individual. This reinforcement is panied by punishment both verbal and non-verbal FACTORS THAT APPEAL FoR Morivation anes individuals are alike.” This is a statement that most of us ative evers ns oat don't you know that there are also similarities that ery individual to work on something? These are the factors that appeal to a complex being such as we are. To enumerate: 1. Physical factor. This is a factor that is also known as the biological factor. It is one major priority nowadays. In fact, a lot of people, deny as we may, will do anything just to make themselves prettier and More attractive in order to gain more respect, attention, recognition, or money, 2. Psychological factor. This is otherwise known as the intellectual factor since it involves all the mental processes. If people are not so vain in their physical assets, they might be obsessed when it comes to learning new knowledge. It is a factor where a person hungers for personal growth. It is a factor that helps individual to strive harder in order for them to gain power, authority, and respect. 3. Social factor. This is a type of factor that prioritizes the need for achievement, fulfillment, recognition, and attention. People value this factor if they want to have something in life that only other people can give. 4, Moral factor. This is a factor where people work hard on something in answer to their beliefs, interests, and intentions. An individual, same as the other factor, will also do anything to keep up with what he/she believes in, what interests he/she has, and the reason that he/she lives. 5. Spiritual factor. This is a factor with which an individual is guided by a supreme being as he/she works hard to achieve what is expected of him/her. Leadership Abilities the meaning of leadership, they will answer you “a i ip.” it is but the kids have a point. If leading her ship.” Funny as itis e ea p ‘you wll just read etween the lines, a person leading their ship is someone who grasps the ship's huge wheel, stecring and leading it against a wrasse waves that unendingly crash through the vessels body. What's Ifyou ask kids: we call the leader a what We vers and the might encounter ip in the eyes F li the similarity? The person holding the whet and the ship which he is leading is KNOWE oat they Massive waves will be the issues and Peet a leadership | Gera along the journey to success. Therefore, y wl ere ice acess PY specific goal. of mature individual? Leadership is the revement of 3 Boeri he ' leads and directs somebody towards the 2° a the leader ee | The person who leads and directs others IS ©. jeading iS sf People with whom the leaders are directing | the followers. f w/ Steps iw Becomine & LEADER Len | A lot of people will agree that being a leader live leader if you have don't you know thai you can also be a competltiv® WAC 0 ta Ron the proper perspective and model? While leaders sthers to join in the and Susan Zemke (2002), “The ability to move ot Eaeannnce in accomplishment of an important goal,” is a very Signer: Ra te every organization at present, what it takes to be re aa Uncertain. But thanks to Dr. Warren Bennis, a distinguished pramsso of Business Administration at the University of Southern California, and Linkages, Inc., a Lexington, Massachusetts-based leadership development firm. He presented a set of five core competencies that inclu 1. Know thyself. Whatever it is that a person is trying to lead, they must first know who he/she is, what values, beliefs, convictions, and principles he/she upholds in making decisions. If you know everything about yourself, you will exude a constancy of information and as a result, people will follow an experienced a consistent and trustworthy leader, 2. Develop a model of leadership you can strive to achieve, You won't be hurt if you also want to be a leader like t Dwight Eisenhower, charismatic and wi € the stoic calm surround him, he might be a good lesqiJUSt OPen to issues that j le people love to watch movies. Some ee 2 now. To start with, while some don't. The movie King Arthur Offer leadership lessons, of movies that offer leadership legend S™@Urai are examples perseverance, and bravery of each of te ae ie Wit, courage, ©’ leadin, ’@ man helpsoo ers to bravely fight their enemies. You may not be as movies, but ge0us, persevering and brave as the leading men of these of leade a ‘our own everyday experiences can be a powerful source “rship lesson. Whether your effort is successful or failure, it must net hold you from keeping your eyes and mind open. eae 8 feedback-rich environment. | know it’s hard to listen to Gone ee est especially when you think that you have already ‘one your best and that you are better than the person criticizing you. But, if you really are a competent and good leader of a specific team, you must create an environment where people under you are allowed to tell the truth as they see it. WARNING: truth hurts but it will definitely benefit your team. So, next time someone criticizes you, the only acceptable response is “Thank you.” Anyway, what good will it give them if they tell you a lie 5. Find a mentor. As defined by a Ron and Susan Zemke (2002), Mentor is “someone outside of your chain of command and possibly not even in your business—who you can go to for advice and counsel on your leadership dilemmas and consternations. This person is a trusted advisor with no tangible stake in your success, his only reward is the satisfaction of it.” LeapersHip Factors 1. Consideration. The attitude of a leader who shows concern for his/her constituents. 2. Structure. The ability of a leader in setting goals and identifying work schedules and methods. 3. Production emph This is the leaders’ ability in accomplishing the specified work correctly and on time. 4, Sensitivity. This is the ability of a leader in keeping alll of his team happy and working harmoniously. Leapersip StyLes Leaders initiate the work and its followers accomplish it. But don’t you know that in the process of accomplishment, the determination and yesion of the leader make the followers continue working? How? According to Jim Dornan (1997), “A leader is able to assess where the people are and then proceed with the step-by-step movement of the people toward the fulfillment of his vision.” The leader is the one that distributes, monitors and motivates the followers to achieve his dream. They are the ‘ones that influence people, but each one does his/her own style. These are: