THE MAGAZINE DEVOTED TO MENTAL HEALTH r ) appl MAKE cj PEACE WITH your body Heal your relationship with your reflection - it's the season of self-love ul JAN 2021 m How to spot a fad diet Nothing tastes better than the truth Strong. Sensual. Empowered. Bare all to boost confidence cra ol <2 to look wafer YOU ‘ ya SE ee ee ee een ein eeSOUL ANALYSE Empowering reminders that can be worn everywhere. 15% OFF with code: HAPPIFUL15 SOULANALYSE.COM Changing the way you speak to yourself.More than skin deep Whether it's a bad day oncein a while, ‘or something deeper, all of us know ‘what feels like to lookin the mirror and hate what we see. ‘Hate? Let that sink in fora moment. It’s powerful word we reserve for the most extreme circumstances, and yet with our own selves we use itso freely. ‘And the emotional weight that word brings is a burden so many of us bear. We avoid cameras, and shun the limelight. We punish ourselves for perceived flaws, feeding into a destructive cycle of mental torment created by an impossible image of the so-called perfection we've been told ‘we should aspire to. Our reflection can emotionally break Us. And honestly, its exhausting. I'm fed up of seeing and hearing truly miraculous people tearing themselves down. I'm tired of allowing some unknown entity to determine my self-worth. But the good news is, the revolution isn't just coming, it’s knocking down the door. More and more, we're seeing resistance against the toxic culture of fad diets, and narratives that destroy self-esteem. We're seeing people reclaiming the right to accept and love themselves, unapologetically. ay, Learning to love yourselfisa journey, and you might not be there just yet. But we wantto help you take a step away from the negative self-talk, and towards acceptance. Just think what you could achieve if the energy you Use to berate yourself, you instead put towards fuelling things that bring you passion, creativity, and excitement? Scrap that “new year, new you” ‘mentality, and instead see the value in a new perspective. Feel empowered by the sensual art of boudoir photography, spot the signs ofa fad diet, and develop a healthy relationship with exercise. ‘As Megan Crabbe, AKA Bodiposipanda, wrote: “Hating our bodies is something that we learn, and itis sure as hell something we can unlearn.* Let's start today. fe hk | happitulcom | happifulha | @hoppifuhg | @hoppiful_magozineFresh starts 14 What is future shock? Does rapid change in technology leave you feeling disorientated? 16 Challenge your inner critic Michelle Elman on setting yourself free from self-doubt 32 Become a morning person 57 Choose to move How exercise transforms our minds 68 Beat brain fog 78 Facing up to the hard stuff Author Uju Asika on having conversations about race 24 Body confidence 18 Where the magic happens What can boudoir photography teach us about self-love? 28 Make peace, not war For those with chronic iinesses, bodies can feel ike battlegrounds 40 Getting busy Discover the link between self-pleasure and self-care 54 How to spot fad diets 72 Body hangups Learn how fo support a friend with low self-image Wellbeing 34 What is intuitive eating? An expert look at the feel-good ‘approach to food 46 Make it happen How creativity con help you rediscover a sense of joy 51 What is delusional thinking? Four common myths about this deeply misunderstood disorder 65 The hush-hush on thrush Laying the secrets out on the table 82 Reassess IBS Could hypnotherapy be the key to managing symptoms? True stories 37 Jemma: turning a corner A passion for travel took Jemma on a journey of col-love 95 Elsa: new challenges Being pregnant in the pandemic has come with highs and lows Put into practise 24 The power of introversion How to use it fo your advantage 48 Things to do in January 61 Fancy a cuppa? How the Swedish tradition of taking time for cake and a hot drink can play a role in wellness 86 Health first Build a healthy, sustainable relationship with exercise 90 Back to nature Discover the great outdoors, close to home 86 ReCulture 8 News flash This month's uplifting news 18 The wellbeing wrap 45 Four page-turners 74'Don't call me brave’ Beauty in uencer Tess Daly on disability representation Try this at home 36 Between the lines Learn how to spat the signs that someone is struggling 63 Small but mighty How to support independent businesses 71 One of those days? De-stress with these tips 81 Five sustainable swaps Go green this New Year 92 Your self-care schedule 98 How to set boundaries ‘And keep them up, for good 16 Expert review Every issue of Hoppiful is reviewed by an accredited content while handling topics sensitively. Maintaining our self- confidence can sometimes be a challenging task Often it starts with being kind fo ourselves - which sounds simple, but is something that we can easily forget. The article on p16 raises awareness of how we con begin fo be more accepting of ourselves, and throughout the edition there are lots of warm examples on how to nurture self-love. By doing so, it will have a positive impact on your overall wellbeing, and support you in day-to-day life. You deserve love, embrace it RAVSEKHON BAMAMEACP cr) Rais counselor ‘and peychotherapist sth more than 10 Yyoors experience,(One undeniable truth is that finding the right help for each individual is a journey ~ what works for one of us will be different for someone else. But dont feel disheartened if you haven't found your path yet. Our Happiful family can help you on your way. Bringing together various arms of support, each of ‘our sister sites focuses on a different method of nourishing your wellbeing - from counselling, to hypnotherapy, nutrition, coaching, and holistic therapy. Expert Panel Meet the team of experts who have come together to deliver information, guidance, and insight throughout this issue VALENTINACARTAGO Valentina ie nutitional theropist with ainterest in cognitive funeton, ISAROBINSON CHRISMOUNSHER tse isa nutitional theropit end intiive eating counsellor. Chris is @ humanistic counsellor helping clients break unhealthy patterns. TANIAGOLDSMITH ‘MICHAELLAMAZZONI se MBC CP eg DpH BAT OHH Tonia councollor Michaela is 0 lone paychotheropt, focusing on curoiy MICHELE SCARR BaDp ne maanTenne Michole is @ nutsitional theropit, heath coach, cond lecturer at CNM, ‘utstional therapist inforestedin gut heath HARRIETFREW Harriet iso counsolior who speclzes in eating disorders and body image RACHEL COFFEY HELEN BROOKS: po Helene clinical hyenotheranst specialising in BS, Rachel life coach, encouraging confidence. ®Ssee Our team EDITORIAL Rebecca Thai | Eltor Kothryn Whesler| Head Writer Bonnie Eve Gifford, Kat Nehols| Senior Weitere ‘Becky Wright | Content & Markating Officer Katie Hoare | Digital Marketing & Content Officer (Groce Victory | Columnist Ley Donoughuo| Head of Partnerships Elen Hoggerd|Digitl Editor Ket Howit| Sub-Eeitor Rav Sekhon | Expert Advisor CCherlotteRoynel | Creative Lead Rosan Magar| Mustrator Emma Boos | Graphic Designer ‘COMMUNICATIONS ‘Alce Greedis| PROMeee ca greeche@hoppticom ‘CONTRIBUTORS Jenna Former, Tania Goldsmith, Michele Scat, (Coraline Buttrwic, emma Brondéstock, ‘Michal Erman Sorah Young, Esa Megan Tis Sinden ‘SPECIALTHANKS Graeme Orr Rachel Coffey Valentine Cartoga, ‘Michaela Mezzo Iso Robinson Tonia olaemth Michele Sco, Helen Brooks (MANAGEMENT ‘imi Maunders| Director 8 Co-Founder [Emma White | Director & Co-Founder oul Meunders| Drector& Co-Founder ‘suascrIPTIONS Fornew orders ond backorder, visi shophoppiflcom, or call Newastond on $44 (127 277248 or email subenguires@newsstandico uk contact pif >>body confidence5 AFFIRMATIONS TO HELP YOU LOVE YOUR BODY WITH ‘CHRONIC ILLNESS Alot of the problems around chronic illness, and negative body image, are ingrained in negative thought patterns. Ifyou tell yourself your body is broken offen enough, it quickly becomes an unshakeable belief. Body confidence expert, ‘and author of the book How 10 Feel Beautiful Lizi Jackson Barrett shares her five favourite mantras for those with chronic illness. Like any new habit, persistence is key, s0 practise saying these each morning, or before you go to bed each night. + can stop now! (This is ‘about giving yourself permission fo not compare yourself to others.) + 'm perfectly imperfect. (There's no such thing as a perfect body.) +I matter. (To remind yourself that having a chronic illness doesn’t take ‘away from what makes you special.) +1'm proud of my body. +I see my true self. (To remind yourself that you can reject society's idea of beauty) 30] happitulcom Ce My body may not function the way | want it to, but it does a hell of a lot for me! Recognise that your body is still capable of amazing things ‘The turning point for chronic illness and my body came when Iwas pregnant. Since becoming ill, Thad believed that my body ‘wasn't strong enough to grow another life when it barely took care of mine. $o then my bump became a symbol of everything my body was doing right. I felt stronger and healthier than ever, and in awe of what I was capable of. I started to look in the mirror with pride, rather than despair. Itshouldnt take having a baby to be grateful for the amazing things your body is doing. Even if you have multiple chronic conditions, you can still recognise the things your body is doing right. Jen Parker, who has ankylosing spondylitis, fibromyalgia, and psoriatic arthritis, agrees. “I initially felt like my body had failed me and Id lost control Jen says. “However, several self-help books encouraged me to realise that my body was amazing.” In fact, Jen, who runs book publishing services provider Fuzzy Flamingo, believes that if she hadn't received her diagnosis, she wouldn't be an multi-award ‘winning businesswoman, because the need wouldn't have been there to work on herself. “ended up modelling ina catwalk at the Mums in Business Association Awards, and felt amazing,” Jen says. “My body may not function the way I want itto, uti does a hell of a lot for me!” Avoid comparing yourself to other people ‘The comparison trap of chronic illness is two-fold. We might be encouraged to compare ourselves to others to feel better. Hands up if you've heard phrases lik think how people who are worse off than you feel”While the intention behind these comments is often good, it can dismiss your valid concerns and feelings about your health. But let’ not forget the comparisons we make ourselves. I remember rolling my eyes when friends would complain about feeling bloated, or if they didn't like how they looked in an outfit. I would think: “Don't they know how lucky they are to be walking around in a healthy body?” “I constantly compare myself to healthy friends who could rely on their bodies not to let them down in crucial times?” explains Lizi Jackson-Barrett. “But in a moment of clarity I saw that no one’s body is perfect. We all have different degrees of imperfection. If all I could see is the beauty in imperfect bodies, why not mine?” Integrative therapist Abbey Robb adds: “Comparing ourselves, to others is a normal human activity, but when it comes to chronicillness, those comparisons ‘can become problematic. “When we look at people who are living the kind of life we want, itcan build feelings of frustration and resentment. Even. health literature often focuses on people with the illness who are ‘managing magnificently, rather than giving a voice to a range of experience,” Abbey explains. “Therefore it can be helpful to connect with people with the same condition, so there's a similar foundation upon which to build comparisons.” You'll be surprised at what a difference can be made by simply body confidence = changing your perspective, and shaking up the way you speak to, and treat, your body. Even ifyou don't believe it straight away, changing that dialogue from the destructive and self-deprecating language, to positive and grateful words, can make a world of difference in the long-run. Jenna Farmer is a freelance journalist who specialises in ‘writing about gut health. She has Grohn’s disease and blogs about her journey to improve gut health at abalencedbelly.co.uk hoppifulcom [34How to become a morning person Do you struggle to get up and greet the day? We share nine top tips to help you build good morning habits, and start your day the right way fo ornings are like likely we are to seeimprovements 2. Turn down the lights Marmite: inoursleep patterns and overall ‘Between our phones, tablets, either love'em, mood. But how do we flip the smartwatches, TVs, PCs, and orhate‘em. As switch and make that change? games consoles, we all spend a long-time established night Here, we share nine essential tips more time than we'd like to owl, trying to make the switch to to help you get started. admit - or perhaps than we even become a morning person has realise - watching screens. While been an ongoing struggle forme. _1. Follow the rule of 15, we're not here to judge, it’s worth, Yet, according to the experts, the Start slowly. Tryingto becomea _ remembering that many of the earlier we start our day, the more morning person often starts with _ screens we use without a second. getting an earlier night, sowecan thought give offan artificial still get our beauty sleep - but blue light that can disrupt our that’ often easier said than done. natural sleep patterns. To avoid If your body isn't ready to rest overstimulation, switching off at and your mind just won't shut off, least an hour before bedtime is chances are you aren't going to recommended. be able to force things. Instead of, shifting the goalpoststoomuch, 3. Try the five-second rule try to set your bedtime just 15, While the rule of 15 might help minutes earlier. Sure, that doesn’t you to get a more restful night’s seem like much now, but make sleep, the five-second rule is thissmall change designed to help you push past just four times feelings of hesitation, self-doubt, overaweekortwo, and fear but can also bea great andsoon, you'llbe motivator for getting started in gettingtosleepa the mornings. Ifyou find yourself whole hour earlier. laying in bed feeling exhausted or dreading the day ahead, it can be ‘tempting to hit that snooze button over and over again. Instead, try fn ansting eaclcesfey “4 and then get out of bed. The ideafresh starts pe” {sto give yourself just five seconds before getting on with whatever task has you feeling overwhelmed. ‘That's notto say it makes things easier, but it makes them happen. 4. Seta sleep schedule, and stick to it We all love the occasional lie-in, but even onelate start a week can erase the progress you've ‘made towards changing your sleep schedule. This can leave you feeling like youre hack at square one when Sunday night rolls around, making Monday morning that much tougher. Ifyou really cant resist the urge for a lie-in asa weekend treat, try to limit yourself tonomore than an hour later than usual, and if possible, try to be more active in the day. This can help to avoid pushing your sleep schedule back too much, so you can still get up at a reasonable hour the following day. 5. Fuel yourself It's not just an old adage - breakfast realy is the most important meal of the day. Breakfast helps to replenish your supply of glucose, boosting ‘energy levels, and helping you to feel more alert. Without breakfast, you're running on empty, so it's no wonder you may feel lethargic or have trouble focusing, Ideally, ‘eating within two hours of waking up is recommended in order to help improve our memory, concentration levels, and mood ~ as ‘well as to help lower stress levels. 6. Exercise early Research has shown that as little a8 20 minutes of moderate exercise ‘can boost your mood for the next 12hours. What better way to start the day off right? By fitting in a regular workout early in the day, there’ less time to find excuses to skip the gym during your lunch break, or to give your evening walk ‘a miss, Feel energised and ready to face the day ahead. 7. Do something you love Starting off the day with a task or activity that you enjoy can be a great way to feel more enthusiastic about what’s to come. If possible, prepare the day before so you now exactly what is top of your to-do list. Make mornings into something you can enjoy, rather than endure. 8. Track your mood ‘When we try to make big long- term changes, it can be difficult to see our smaller successes and how they are affecting our day- to-day lives. By using a journal or mood tracking app, you can see how changes to your sleeping and waking habits are affecting your ‘mood and energy levels. This, in turn, can help you to recognise the positive effects they have been having if change is slower than you had hoped. 9. Consider your end goal ‘Why do you want to be a morning person? Is itso you can be more productive at home or work? So you feel like less of a zombie first thing? To help you spend ‘more quality time with friends or family on weekends? Perhaps it's so you can ditch that feeling of losing the day to lie-ins. By focusing on the why, you can continue to feel motivated if you find yourself struggling, EY happifulcom | 33Ask the experts Nutritionist Isa Robinson answers your questions on intuitive eating Cee ta eet n mind, and body, based on kindness; 8. Body respect; 9. Joyful Ikeep hearing about intuitive the individual. Blending some movernent; 10. Gentle nutrition. ing, but I'm not bisctve science with what we The principles focus on increasing eating, know to be true and beneficial for an awareness of, and attunement sure what itis. Could you our own unique bodies intuitive fo, signals coming from the body, explain what it involves? cating weight inclusive while reducing daruptors to Ws based on 10 principles: 1. these. This approach is backed Intuitive eating ison Ditch diet mentality; 2. Honour up by more than 125 studies, approach that was co- hunger; 3. Respect fullness; indicating thot intuitive eaters developed by two US-based 4. Make peace with food; 5. have less disordered eating, dietitians, Elyse Resch and Evelyn Challenge the food police; 6. weight cycling, and lower BMIs, Tribole. It’s about cultivating a Pleasure and satisfaction; 7. as well as sense of improved healthy relationship with food, Coping with emotions with self-trust and body image. I'm chan my —_—_&Mail inboxes, from content food include nourishing your health goals this pushing weight loss, that only body more adequately? Does year and want to considers one ideal of beauty, it mean tuning in more to your : : ‘and that makes you feel bad needs, instead of arbitrary meal workon improving my = ghout yourself, your body, or times and portion guides? Does relationship with food. your food intake Thisis about —_it mean giving up weight/aiet Doyou have any advice tipping up the rule book of diet _tracking apps? Does it mean for how I could get dogma, and getting curious being able fo enjoy a slice of started? ‘about what feels best for you. birthday cake with your loved Ask yourself whata ‘healthy’ ones without quit or worry? Unsubscribe from diet relationship with food would look — Whatever it is, | invite you to culture. Detox your social ike for you. For example, does write down and keep it lose media feeds, book shelves, and more positive relationship with to you. Nutritionist Resource is part of the Happiful Family | Helping you find the help you need1. | recommend reading what intuitive eating is, as there are a lot of misconceptions. The 4th edition of the original Intuitive Eating book is an excellent place to start. Laura Thomas's Just Eat If, and workbook, How fo Just Eat It, are also useful 2. There is no right or wrong way to do intuitive eating - essentially you can't fail. The only caveat is that intuitive eating doesn't work if you're actively pursuing intentional weight loss. Intuitive eating is full of nuance - and my advice is to go slowly, and be compassionate to yourself. 3.1'd love to invite you to consider what you'd like to eat right now. Are you in the mood for something sweet, savoury, sour, rich, or buttery? What's going to hit the spot, and what's going to meet your hunger levels? This is the fun port Listening in and getting curious. wellbeing I want professional support to help me with intuitive eating. What should I look for when contacting a If your nutritionist specialises in intuitive eating and weight management - run! Itis impossible to pursue the two at the same time, intuitive eating is not anti weight-loss per se; i's anti the pursuit of intentional weight loss. One caveat - you are perfectly entitled to vocalise a desire for intentional weight loss as part of the process (in a culture that seems to value slenderness above all else, this makes you a human being). At the same time, intuitive eating recognises that intentional weight loss or dieting is a trust disruptor. If you're intentionally under-nourishing your body, you are naturally going to bagin to feel more hungry, irritable, and experience loss of control eating. A great place to start isthe intuitive eating counsellors directory, which is a list of individuals who have been trained ond certified by Evelyn Tribole herself.try at home Difficulty sleeping Changes in appetite Things that previously brought them joy no longer seem to How to start a conversation with them: + Find a time when you can speak freely, without interruptions. + Keep your questions open. + Use neutral language to allow them to express themselves. 36] happitulcom Risk-taking behaviours, such as increased alcohol or drug use Be aware of changes in behaviour | hopelessness fi Increased Sid Recognise when someone's struggling Irritability Emotional . outbursts Being more withdrawn professional help, call a helpline, or head to pS for more information. + If you're concerned that ‘they might be in crisis, it’s important to stay calm and reassure them. Encourage them to call their GP or Samoritans on 116 123. + Give them time to reply — in as much detail as they're comfortable to give. + Really listen, and repeat back what you've heard to show understanding, + Signpost places of support. They could speak to their GP, reach out fortrue story Reclaiming my confidence After a difficult childhood and adolescence, Jemmo’s self-belief hit rock bottom. But a passion for travel ignited her confidence, and led her to go all-in when it came to creating the life and career she wanted Writing [Jemma Broadstock tthe age of 18, [decided had enough. Sitting alone in tears in my flat, Twas done. It didn't matter how ‘many people told me it would get better, I didnt believe them. Fast forward six years and here I am (still alive) with a business predicted to make six figures next year. It’s been one hell of a journey! People often look back on school fondly, remembering the good times and the carefree days. It wasn't like that for me. [had my first ‘counsellor when I was 13. When I told her about my life, she started crying and I thought: “Bloody hell, if shes crying it must be bad!” Over the next few years, it felt like setback after setback, with me gradually losing my enthusiasm for life, From the age of 14 to 16, lended up spending my time in a room at school called the “pupil referral unit’, run by two women who weren't teachers. ‘There was a lot of drama in the unit because itwas full of the students that my school didn't know how to handle, such as pregnant girls and kids with a criminal history. Believe it or not, I quite enjoyed my few years there because suddenly I wasn't the odd one out. We all had things going on, and so our ‘issues’ weren't even talking points. We left our crap at the door, and spoke to each other like ‘normal’ kids ~ whatever they are! might have been OK ish in the unit, but 1 definitely wasn't OK. So when a man five years older than me came along when Iwas 16 and swept me off my feet, I thought: “Great, I'm loved, everything is OK now!” But I was wrong. He wasn'ta very nice man, to putt politely. He threatened to take his own life if [left him, and cut me off from everyone. After two years of that relationship, I was more reliant on him than I ever had been on anyone (which was his plan, of course). ‘Then he started to act strangely. He bought new aftershave, started doing his hair, and changed the password on his phone. Turns out that the man who didn let me out of his sight in case I cheated, had a second girlfriend. was living alone at university at this point, which gave me way too much time to think, and too much freedom to walkto the corner shop late at night to buy a bottle of wine (or two). I didn’t realise I was drinking a lot, but when I look backit was daily, and mostly by myself.Alcohol gave me the confidence I thought I needed in order to be liked, and I became known as the girl who loved being around people, and was happy to make a fool of herself. Little did they know it was a sham. In reality, Iwas surrounding myself with people because I couldn't be alone - I feared what I was capable of. Iwas drinking daily, and making risky decisions. One night, I even tried to take an overdose. ‘That summer, things started to change. I got a job at a summer camp and worked with a wonderful bunch of kids who made me feel like I had a purpose. I was meant to support them, but, | feel like they changed my life. The small bit of confidence they gave me led to me booking a trip. around Europe by myself. I was ready to start living, Not only did I have the best month of my life, but I met people from all over the world who I created amazing memories with. After three years of travelling, and 16 countries explored, I figured I should probably ‘settle down’ and get a ‘proper job, so I moved to London and started working with ex- offenders, and children with various difficulties. Hoved what I did, but I was still constantly being put down. One manager observed me for a day, and then told me the reason for this was because they were confused at how I'd been doing so well '38| happitulcom Follow Jem irtuallydo on Instagram ¢ e.Tofind ut more about her services visi virtuallydonevas.com in the job. wanted to grow with the company ‘and work my way up, but it became clear that this wasn't going to happen. I was tired of being. underestimated, and tired of not being able to do what I loved: travelling. My journey has taught me that when times get hard, something amazing could be around the corner 1 thought back to when I made and sold handmade gifts when I was younger to earn some pocket money. If I could make money from home at 16, surely I could do it now? [began using a freelancing site to write some articles for some extra income, It wasn'ta lot of money, but it showed me that I was right, it was possible. ‘When I was made redundant in 2019, it was the nudge I needed to start my own business. ‘My boyfriend told me: “You cant put 50% into ooking for a job and 50% into starting a business, because then neither is getting your full effort.