How Transactional

Analysis Concepts
Can Help Your Work

Parent Adult Child

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 You will want to talk to and inspire the child ego state.

It is the emotional self that makes many decisions.

Solid differentiation occurs when these 3 ego Free Child

The spontaneous, emotive, creative,
states work together: and “in the moment” part of self

Adult

Free Child

Self Soothing Parent

Adapted Child
The part of self that makes emotional
decisions for self protection based on
past and present experiences. It is
designed for safety and often operates
from fight, flight, or pleasing compliance.
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 Noelle’s clients spend too much time in
Adapted Child.

They fear Free Child, hide and are blocked. Free Child
The spontaneous, emotive, creative,
and “in the moment” part of self

They rely on externals to ignite Free Child.

Adapted Child
The part of self that makes emotional
decisions for self protection based on past
and present experiences.

It is designed for safety and often operates

from fight, flight, or pleasing compliance.

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 You want to activate the Free Child.
This is where motivation and inspiration arise.

When you activate the Adapted Child, you end up

with low differentiation, collapse, or a rebellious Free Child
The spontaneous, emotive,
response like: creative, and “in the moment”
part of self

“I can do it myself.”

“NO!”

“I won’t let you tell me what I

need or what I should do.”
Adapted Child
The part of self that makes emotional
decisions for self protection based on
Parental control is past and present experiences. It is
often imagined. designed for safety and often operates
from fight, flight, or pleasing compliance.

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 The Adult figures out
how to make it work…

Adult
The part of self that can
think logically and rationally
and act accordingly.
The planner, observer
organizer, and synthesizer.

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 When you are working with a client
or connecting with a couple…

+ +
Emphasize Nurturing Parent,
Avoid Critical Parent Adult And Free Child
- -

Adult

Connect and activate the

+ spontaneous and creative
Adapted Child is where
shame and self-doubt live. Free Child
- This is desired but was
often squashed.
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 What is Differentiation?

Differentiation is the active, ongoing process of defining

thoughts, feelings, wishes and desires -expressing and
activating self, revealing self

And managing the anxiety that Allows relationships to grow and

comes from risking either deeper remain vital over years of being
intimacy and involvement or together-keeps freshness, and
facing feared separation. mystery, and increases their
capacity to work together.

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 Why Understanding
Differentiation Is Important

A strong foundation for ongoing, Intimacy is experienced in

sustained intimacy comes from moments of deep attachment
exploring, appreciating and and in moments of clear
persevering in ongoing differentiation by one or
differentiation. both partners.

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 Why Differentiation Matters

Differentiated intimacy is often Progressive levels of openness

tension-filled, feels frightening lead to increasing levels of anxiety
and is frequently avoided – / fear and more vitality.
“The Anxiety Soup”

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When partners are anxious
about the emotional risk, they
will shut down and give up
parts of themselves

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 Feeling Hurt Led to Liza Shutting Down
and Disengaging

She gave up parts of herself

Neither partner knew Jess did a perfunctory

how to resolve the apology and Liza kept
hurt shutting down

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 For You Their Therapist

Therapist’s task is to harness the developmental

energy in each partner and - to support progression rather
than regression.

To offer experiences between the two individuals that allow

for the unfolding of a powerful developmental process.

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It is Individual Autonomous
Change that Leads to
Relationship Change

This happens when you can get each

partner back into their own skin.
”I’m getting trapped inside myself”
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For You

Tremendous developmental potential

exists through the couple’s relationship and
how you involve yourself with the partners.
We are privileged to do this work!

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