Reflection 1 – Memoir Vaani Thavalingam

Jesse Thistle’s “From the Ashes” depicts addiction’s unrueing power over the mind and

body, accompanied by echoes of resistance towards Indigenous identity. Thistle’s raw portrayal

of domestic violence, substance repulsion, and compulsive lying allowed readers, like myself, to

find a greater sense of empathy with those struggling with such issues. As a Canadian-Tamil

woman with immediate family members, of rigid ties, that struggle with addiction and exhibit

manipulative and pathological behaviors, this memoir enlightened me greatly. Before reading,

“From the Ashes” it was second nature to believe my family members’ ill-choices and difficult

nature was simple as it presents itself: difficult. As the beginning chapters of Thistle’s memoire

were the most riveting while the later chapters felt a little too familiar for my liking. Thistle

discussing his father, Sonny’s incompetence, and his revolting approach to parenting made me

start to question my family about their upbringing. The further into the memoire readers got the

more Jesse mirrored his father’s very pitfalls: stealing, drinking, lying and it all led to the same

consequence his father endured. Homelessness; losing everything and everyone. This novel was

an extremely eye-opening and healing read for someone like me to learn to look past one’s

addiction, lies. disordered actions but, instead to be an available support system. More

importantly, this memoire serves as a beacon of hope and wisdom for the FNMI community,

those struggling with addiction and survivors of broken households.

Thistle’s discussions on colonialism are the most canon in his accounts of developing

personal identity. Dialogues on post-colonial identity are heavily prevalent in the beginning

when reading about a young Thistle fondly partaking in Métis customs, cuisine and speaking

Michif with his maternal grandparents in Saskatchewan. Followed by Thistle’s disturbing time
with his father and at the foster home, Jesse and his brothers found themselves in Toronto with

their paternal grandparents. Jesse was introduced to people of various backgrounds, values, and

upbringings and yet, Jesse and his brothers stood out like a sore thumb. It would be an

understatement to say Jesse Thistle was bullied by the other kids. As racist remarks and

stereotypical caricatures flooded chapters depicting Thistle’s school days. And like most kids

that wanted to fit in, he adopted those negative views of Indigeneity into his vocabulary and

actions. As he began ridiculing his brothers for embracing their heritage and even denied his

native bloodline with an “acceptable”-European replacement. Thistle internalized thoughts

turned external, into his own life, as he lived out as the stereotype of an “Indian.” Coming to

terms with his post-colonial identity was a major part of Jesse Thistle’s recovery. The chapter

“Indian Turned Métis” shows the first step of reconnecting with your roots which, begins with

chapter title itself: changing terminology. Early chapters portrayed Thistle using the incorrect

term for Indigenous peoples, “Indians,” to highlight a young Thistle’s indifference and shame to

that part of himself. Adopting the more appropriate word, Métis Cree, represents his desire to

accept and learn about that side of himself. The chapter, “Indian Turned Métis,” oversees

Thistle’s journey to re-discovery beginning with some formal classes, visiting family, and simply

asking questions about his ancestral history. Thistle ends the chapter “Indian Turned Métis,”

relaying his moment of clarity by stating “I remembered them. I remembered my mother’s

people. I remembered who I was (Thistle 330).” With the end of the book it’s apparent Thistle is

beginning to reconcile with his Indigenous identity and better yet is learning to embrace it

through his work. Publishing an internationally best-selling memoire recollecting his Indigenous

experience is a definitive indication that Thistle is no longer ashamed of being Métis.

 Reading “From the Ashes” provided greater insight into the rapid changes

intergenerational trauma can produce in young Indigenous children. Jesse Thistle’s early

exposure to racial discrimination, socioeconomic barriers, and unstable households

— postcolonial affects — began immediate changes to his psychosocial development. In the

beginning of the book, Thistle’s afterthoughts are quite critical of his father, even wishing for the

disappearance of his father on pg 22. “I wondered if my dad could run away, or if a shark would

get him (Thistle 22).” The quote continues with Thistle describing his Kokum in a positive light,

which can be interpreted into Thistle wanting to be with his Kokum rather than his dad. A young

Jesse Thistle demonstrates awareness of his Father’s drunken habits and how it casts a dark

shadow that burdens the rest of his family, from his violent tendencies to his pathological lies.

But as the Thistle brothers move from Saskatchewan and are pushed around from place to place

like shipment, changes to the developing mind are inevitable; especially if the encounters are

destructive. Therefore, it’s inevitable Jesse Thistle finds himself in the same path as his father

considering all the unsafe environments, he grew up in. Ultimately, “From the Ashes”

showcased how intergenerational trauma and colonialism can affect post-colonial Indigenous

families in a drastic manner.