MIDTERM LESSON #1

Topic: Comparison of Good Listening and Poor Listening Habits

CILO 3: Present a situation on the result of active and poor listening habits

Listening is important. It allows us to gather information from others, which is fundamental to understanding
people. In turn, listening enables us to learn, work together, and solve difficult problems. Listening also shows
respect. Respect is fundamental for relationships, which lead to beautiful life experiences, great business
opportunities and everything in between.

LISTENING TYPES AND HABITS

Now that you are becoming more confident in your ability to define listening in your own terms and have a deeper
understanding of the listening process, you might be asking yourself, what is all the hype about listening? In this
Module, first, you will learn about several different types of listening. Second, you will also learn about different
listening habits.
Listening Types
Given the many different kinds of relationships, you might have noticed that you listen to different people in
different ways and for different reasons. For instance, you may find it easier to listen to your grandmother than
to your younger brother. You may be able to pay attention to your professor’s lecture for 50 minutes, but listening
to your co-worker’s five-minute presentation makes you incredibly sleepy. If you can relate to at least one of these
scenarios, then you may have already started to suspect that there isn’t just one way to listen. Just to be clear, in
this Module, an interpersonal relationship refers to the association, connection, interaction and bond between two
or more people.
There are many different types of listening. By some accounts, there are at least 18 different types of listening
(See Table 1 in Appendices). If you are motivated and interested in listening to another person then that type of
listening is important at that moment. For readers being introduced to interpersonal communication for the first
time, that type of listening is most likely called interpersonal listening. “Interpersonal listening is listening that
occurs between people; it occurs in both informal and formal contexts” (Wolvin, 2017, p. 4). Another term similar
to interpersonal listening is relationally oriented listening. “Relationally oriented listening is the dynamic,
interdependent, and uniquely human process of signaling attention, affection, empathy, understanding and
responsiveness through a vast repertoire of specific behaviors (Beard & Bodie, 2014; Bodie, 2010, 2011b, 2012a)”
(Bodie & Denham, 2017, p. 46). Listening is a social and contextual act. The various types of listening can be
categorized based on the listeners’ goals which can enhance or impede effective listening.
Many of today’s well-known listening standard books were published in the 1980s, like Listening (1996, 1985) by
Andrew Wolvin and Carolyn Gwynn Coakley. A major part of that book is about developing purposeful listening skills
with a “taxonomy of listening that describes how listeners function at various listening purposes or levels” (1996, p.
151). For the purposes of this section, Wolvin and Coakley’s five listening types will be covered: discriminative
listening, comprehensive listening, critical listening, appreciative listening and therapeutic listening . These five
listening types were selected because they all provide an important framework in the listening process and they
have stood the test of time, as scholars have not been able to add on to them.
Discriminative listening
Discriminative listening is listening to distinguish aural and sometimes visual stimuli (Wolvin and Coakley, 1996).
This most basic type of listening helps you determine what sound is coming from where or who is making the sound.
If you cannot hear differences, then you cannot make sense of the meaning that is expressed by such differences.
We learn to discriminate between sounds within our own language early, and later are unable to discriminate
between the phonemes of other languages. The importance of using this listening type in an interpersonal
relationship is because you actively determine which auditory sounds to listen to and filter out all the other sounds
that are not important to you.
Suppose April and her older brother Ed are having lunch at a bar-and-grill type restaurant, which gets rather loud
especially during “happy hour”. Although the two of them are seated inside at a booth and across from one another,
April uses discriminative listening to focus on what her brother is talking about instead of the other noises, sounds,
music or even other people talking in the background.
Comprehensive listening
Comprehensive listening (also known as content listening, informative listening and full listening) builds on
discriminative listening and involves comprehending the speaker’s message based on a number of different features
such as vocabulary, language skill, one’s perception, and nonverbal cues. In comprehensive listening we strive for a
level of listening fidelity that will allow us to assign meanings to a message. If you are getting directions, watching
the news, listening to a lecture, you are listening to understand or listening to comprehend the message that is
being sent. The importance of using this type of listening type in an interpersonal relationship is fundamental.
Misunderstandings in relationships are caused by one or both partners who did not fully comprehend a message.
Going back to the original scenario, suppose after several glasses of water, April wants to get to the restroom
quickly but isn’t certain of the exact location. When the waiter comes to the table to drop off the bill, April asks
for directions. The waiter explains that the restrooms are downstairs, past the pool tables and emphasizes that
the hallway on the right leads to the “ladies” room while the hallway on the left leads to the “gentlemen’s” room.
April uses comprehensive listening to get to the restroom.
Critical listening
Critical listening analyzes and evaluates the accuracy, legitimacy and value of a message. As a critical listener, you
are listening to all parts of the message, analyzing it, and evaluating what you heard. When engaging in critical
listening, you are also critically thinking. You are making mental judgments based on what you see, hear, and read.
Your goal as a critical listener is to evaluate the message that is being sent and decide for yourself if the
information is valid. Critical listening plays an important role in everyday life decision-making.
In another scenario, suppose that Sofía is an undecided democratic voter in an up-coming United States (U.S.)
primary election. Although the presidential election is still months away, she watches and listens to several
presidential candidates on television debate each other on issues ranging from economic inequality, gun control,
voter suppression, health care coverage to immigration policies. Sofía uses critical listening to evaluate each
candidates’ responses to help her decide who she will vote for in the next U.S. presidential election.
Appreciative listening
Appreciative listening is “listening for sensory stimulation or enjoyment” (Wolvin & Coakley, 1996, p. 363). This type
of listening in interpersonal relationships becomes important when you become aware that you will need to suspend
critical thoughts and instead listen. When you listen to someone and appreciate what they have to say without
being critical it can have a profoundly positive impact on the relationship. We also can listen appreciatively to music
and nature, among other sounds.
Here is another scenario: in school, Ashton interacts with a variety of people many of which are international
students. Presentational speaking class in particular affords him with opportunities to use appreciative listening.
During speeches, Ashton appreciates and values the wide range of accents, inflections and cadence offered by his
classmates.
Therapeutic listening
Therapeutic listening, also referred to as empathic listening (Myers, 2000), is a way of listening and responding
to another person when you are trying to understand the others point of view. This type of listening is most
appropriate where the listener conveys their support and concern for the speakers’ emotional well-being without
giving advice or trying to fix anything.
Although sympathetic and empathetic listening are closely related. They are different. In Brené Brown’s (2013)
animated Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts (RSA) Short, on Empathy she explains the difference
between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy = "I see your pain". Empathy = "I feel your pain". Empathetic listening is
really about the listeners’ ability to feel “with” while sympathetic listening is really about the listener’s ability to
feel “for” the speaker. Empathy is important in listening in that the listener seeks to relate to the speaker beyond
the words.
Scenario: Carlos and Sylvia have been married for nearly 35 years. Over time, Carlos has started to lose his
hearing which secretly frustrates him because he hasn’t been able to notice when his wife is trying to get his
attention. Although he is contemplating getting a hearing aid, he does not want to admit that he could use the
assistance of this kind of device. Finally, Carlos finally shares with Sylvia what has been bothering him. Sylvia uses
therapeutic listening as her husband talks about not only his frustrations about getting older but also his
reservations about getting a hearing aid.
Indeed, these are only five of many different listening types. You may start using one, shift to another and even
use three of four different types of listening with a single speaker. There are, of course, many others you can use
depending upon a variety of factors. In additional to know about various listening types you will also want to become
familiar with different listening habits.
Listening Habits
Make a list of at least five things off the top of your head that you can think of that would annoy or irritate you if
someone were doing them while you were speaking. Chances are your list would include examples such as:
interrupting, finishing the thoughts of or suggesting words for the speaker, doodling, drawing, pen-tapping,
fidgeting, changing the topic, checking your cell phone. When it comes to listening, “each person listens to and for
different types of information based partially on the routines they have established by listening in particular ways
(i.e., listening habit” (Bodie, Winter, Dupuis & Tompkins, 2019, p. 3). In this section, we are going to examine four
primary listening habits, specifically analytical listening, conceptual listening, connective listening, and reflective
listening which represent how people come to understand the content and relational meaning of messages. The more
you know about listening habits the more likely you are to identify how you process information.
Everyone interprets messages differently based on their prior experience, knowledge and values. It should come
as no surprise that our everyday conversations sometimes result in misunderstandings. Some of these
misunderstandings derive from a habitual listening orientation. Based on the ECHO (Effective Communication for
Healthy Organizations) Listening Profile, a 10 question, statistically validated survey that identifies listening habits
as a brain-based cognitive function, people have four primary listening habits. The first two listening
habits (analytical listening, conceptual listening) deal primarily with how people tend to focus on different aspects
of a speaker’s message. Analytical listening focuses on what the interaction means to an issue or objective
situations and filters what is heard through an interest in results and facts. Conceptual listening focuses on the
big picture and ideas, often abstract, and filters what is heard through an interest in concepts and possibilities.
The second two listening habits (connective listening, and reflective listening) deal primarily with how people
construct relational meaning from messages. Connective listening focuses on what the interaction means for others
and filters what is heard through interests in other people, groups, processes, and audiences. Reflective
listening focuses on what the interaction means for them and filters what is heard through their own interests and
purposes.
Each of these four listening habits have their own set of strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you were to
score high on the ECHO Listening Profile as a connective listener you listen to offer encouragement and support
and nod approvingly which adds value to the speaker and reinforces their ideas. On the other hand, as a connective
listener you may find yourself inadvertently agreeing with the speaker and dismiss listening for facts/data. The
ECHO Listening Profile does not rate whether you are a “good” or “bad” listener. It is however, one of two valid
listening assessment tools (also see LSP-R; Bodie et al., 2013) that establishes a listening habit and does not
advocate for an “ideal” profile but rather “all people hold some level of each of these filters in their cognitive
system even if these filters are more prominent in some people in some contexts, compared to others” (Bodie et al.,
2019, p. 22). The point being made here is that we all habitually listen to and for certain types of information, while
filtering out other types of information. And, since listening is a cognitive habit, we tend to listen the same way
through our dominant habit and our listening blind spots are the habits we’re not using. So, we all miss something.
But, we can learn to listen through our non-dominant habits because we have the control of our cognitive processes.
CONNECTIVE (CV)
Focuses on what the interaction means for others
Filters what is heard through interests in other people,
the audience, and their concern for how processes
involve or impact others.
 Strengths
-Provides support & empathy
-Appreciates broad application of information
-Listens for feelings behind facts
-Orients self toward others
Challenges
-Can simply accept information at face value
-May forget to look inward
-Might sacrifice facts & data
-Can often be ruled by emotions

ANALYTICAL (AL) CONCEPTUAL (CL)

Focuses on what the interaction means to an
issue or objective situation. Filters what is
heard through interest in results and facts
Strengths
-Discerns accuracy of information
- Critiques information for decision-making
- Listens for facts behind feelings
- Controls biases and attitudes
Challenges
-Needs to get it “right”
- Can discard information that could be valuable
- May miss other’s feelings
- Can get stuck in the details
Focuses on the big picture and ideas, often
abstract. Filters what is heard through an
interest in concepts and possibilities.
Strengths
- Comprehends broad view
- Uses information to stimulate ideas
- Connects ideas to new ideas
- Understands multiple meanings of a message
Challenges
- Can miss the tree in the forest
- Might not get to the point
REFLECTIVE (RV) - Can lack focus on the present
Focuses on what the interaction means - May read in more than is meant

for them. Filters what is heard through

one’s own interests and purposes.
Strengths
-Evaluates direct application
-Relates information to own situation
-Reflects on personal meaning
-Discards non useful information
Challenges
-Can miss potential applications
-May be overly introspective
-Can ignore meaning for others
-Often misses the usefulness of information
for other people/situations

The case for good listening is clear: Good listening leads to progress and strong relationships. Bad listening leads to stagnation and frustration.
However, listening well is difficult.

Characteristics of the Good listener and the Bad listener.

Good listeners Bad Listeners
aim to understand focus on what to say next
know that if they truly understand the other person it is worry that what they will say next is smart and
easy to say something useful spend their time planning instead of listening
ask to “clarify” or “elaborate” say they understand when they don’t
test their understanding by summarizing or highlighting change the subject without acknowledging what the
what they understood other person said
ask questions don’t ask
focus on what the other person means focus on what the other person says
focus on learning focus on showing how smart they are
focus on exploring what they don’t know. focus on talking about what they know
give the other person undivided attention look the other way or check their phone
know that any person can teach them something and it’s think that because they know more about a topic
 their own job to figure out what they have nothing more to learn
know that communication is difficult jump to conclusion
realize ideas that first sound bad might just be judge a book by its cover
underdeveloped and so help the speaker develop their idea
help the speaker create clarity make the speaker more confused
recognize listening as a skill mistake listening for ‘waiting to speak’
are patient interrupt
focus on the goal of the conversation and drive it forward are defensive and take things personal.
even if it gets heated
sense when to take a break in a discussion that no longer keep hammering at the other person with the same
moves forward arguments
make others feel comfortable via open body language, make others uncomfortable by only communicating
smiling and eye contact in words

In truth, we are not a Good listener or a Bad listener all the time. Sometimes we listen well, other times we don’t.
The goal of this list is to bring attention to when each of us could be a better listener. This will help us build better
relationships and do great things together.

This information below is from “How to Be a Better Listener” by Sherman K. Okum, Nation’s Business, August 1975,
and from “Building a Professional Image: Improving Listening Behavior” by Philip Morgan and Kent Baker, Supervisory
Management, November 1995. Only about 25% of listeners grasp the central ideas in communications. To improve
listening skills, consider the following:

Differentiate Effective Listener from Poor Listener

Effective listener
thinks and mentally summarizes, weighs the evidence,
listens between the lines to tones of voice and evidence
finds what’s in it for me
fights distractions, sees past bad communication
habits, knows how to concentrate
has 2-3 ways to take notes and organize important
information
doesn’t judge until comprehension is complete
uses “heavier” materials to regularly exercise the mind
interpret color words, and doesn’t get hung up on them
holds eye contact and helps speaker along by showing
an active body state
judges content, skips over delivery errors
listens for central ideas
Poor Listener
tends to “wool-gather” with slow speakers
subject is dry so tunes out speaker
distracted easily
takes intensive notes, but the more notes takes,
the less value; has only one way to take notes
is over stimulated, tends to seek and enter into
arguments
inexperienced in listening to difficult material, has
usually sought light, recreational materials
lets deaf spots or blind words catch his or her
attention
shows no energy output
judges delivery-- tunes out
listens for facts.

Things to Remember:
 If you are really listening intently, you should feel tired after your speaker has finished. Effective listening is an active rather
than a passive activity.
 When you find yourself drifting away during a listening session, change your body position and concentrate on using one of
the above skills. Once one of the skills is being used, the other active skills will come into place as well.
 Your body position defines whether you will have the chance of being a good listener or a good deflector. Good listeners
are like poor boxers: they lead with their faces.
 Meaning cannot just be transmitted as a tangible substance by the speaker. It must also be stimulated or aroused in the
receiver. The receiver must therefore be an active participant for the cycle of communication to be complete.
  Good listeners listen with their faces.

Source: http://www.infoplease.com/homeowrl/listening skills1.htr

Good listening habits are essential for effective communication. They help foster understanding, build trust, and
strengthen relationships. Here are some habits that differentiate good from poor listening:
Patience: Good listeners are patient and give speakers ample time to express themselves1.
Focus: Good listeners focus on the goal of the conversation and drive it forward, even if it gets heated 1.
Open-mindedness: Good listeners are open-minded and receptive to different perspectives 1.
Empathy: Good listeners empathize with the speaker’s emotions and experiences 2.
Non-verbal cues: Good listeners make others feel comfortable through open body language, smiling, and
eye contact1.
Avoidance of defensiveness: Good listeners avoid becoming defensive or taking things personally 1.
Knowing when to pause: Good listeners sense when to take a break in a discussion that no longer moves
forward1.

On the other hand, poor listening habits can hinder effective communication. Some examples of poor listening
habits include:
Interrupting: Poor listeners tend to interrupt speakers before they finish expressing their thoughts 3.
Distractions: Poor listeners get easily distracted by their surroundings or their own thoughts 3.
Prejudice: Poor listeners let their preconceived notions or biases cloud their judgment 3.
Lack of empathy: Poor listeners fail to understand or acknowledge the speaker’s emotions and
experiences1.
Inattentiveness: Poor listeners may appear disinterested or inattentive during conversations 3.

Developing good listening habits takes practice and conscious effort. By cultivating these habits, you can become a
better listener and enhance your communication skills.