Exercise - Tracking Cause & Effect

When we are at ‘cause’ we are accepting more responsibility for our own situation
and - most importantly - taking action to improve it. When they are at ‘effect’ they
are shifting the responsibility externally, often playing ‘the blame game’.

One of the fundamental goals of any coaching relationship is to subtly move the
client so they are more at ‘cause’. One way to notice where your clients at, in relation
to this, is to pay attention to the types of words and phrases that they use. Over a
series of sessions, as you work with them, you should hear a gradual shifting from
‘effect’ or ‘passive’ words and phrases to ‘cause’ or ‘active’ ones.

Below is a list of both ‘passive’ - at effect - and ‘active’ - at cause - words and phrases.

Passive words & phrases…

Can’t; not my fault; impossible; helpless; incapable; powerless; sidelined; give up;
shelve;; static; no hope; can’t help it.

Active words & phrases…

Can; will; propel; doing; action; make happen; producing; acting; behaving; im-
proving; developing; vigour; operate; in the process of; create.

Exercise
To become more sensitive to these ways of speaking, we’d recommend
that you spend some time listening to how people speak in causal
conversations. Do they use more ‘passive’ words and phrases? Or more
‘active’ ones. By practicing this active listening skill, casually, you will
find - eventually - it will become automatic during a coaching session.

Coaching Skills Mastery (NLP Coaching & Beyond)

by Steven Burns & Brian Costello