Cùng học IELTS bản chất

Task 2 9/6/2023
Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is protection of the environment.
Others believe the main benefit is in the world of business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Note
SAMPLE
vocabulary paraphrasing

Opinions are divided on whether the main benefit of

international cooperation is found in environmental
protection or the global economy. I think that
increased collaboration between nations can result in
both, as countries hold both in equal regard..

On the one hand, the significance of international

cooperation in protecting the environment is too
great to ignore. As the world is facing increasing
environmental issues that transcend national
boundaries, like pollution and climate change, no
single country can deal with them alone. Hence,
there is a great need for coordinated efforts, On the other hand, it is undeniable that
through which many countries with a range of multinational initiatives also benefit the world of
expertise can collaborate on environmental research business. In fact, in today’s globalized economy,
and share best practices, and even reach cooperation is one of the main factors that
international agreements. This can aid in protecting facilitates trade, removes barriers and fosters
critically endangered species and conserving economic growth. In other words, by promoting
biodiversity, which leads to a more sustainable f ree trade, countries can have access to new
environment around the world. markets, and attract foreign investment, which in

turn, leads to innovation and technological

advancement. For instance, developing countries

like China, Vietnam and other Southeast Asian

countries are developing at a lightning-fast pace,

bringing benefits to both themselves and other

countries involved.

In conclusion, while international cooperation

plays a vital role in addressing global
environmental challenges, it also paves the way
for economic growth and free trade among
nations. The emphasis on these two aspects helps
ensure both short-term and long-term
development of human society and the global
economy.

VOL.2 JULY 2023 17

KsZ>>E^KZ ϴ  ϴнϴнϴнϴ
^>KtΘ>Z'Z  DK>E^tZ
tZ/d/E'd^<ϭ

dĂƐŬϭ͗dŚĞŐƌĂƉŚƐŚŽǁƐƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƉĞŽƉůĞƚĂŬŝŶŐƉĂƌƚƐŝŶϰŬŝŶĚƐŽĨƐƉŽƌƚƐŝŶĂƉĂƌƚŝĐƵůĂƌƌĞŐŝŽŶ Đã chú thích [1]: Surely this should be school

ďĞƚǁĞĞŶϭϵϴϱĂŶĚϮϬϬϱ͘


 

Ϯϭ


18
zŽƵƌĂŶƐǁĞƌ
dŚĞůŝŶĞŐƌĂƉŚƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƐŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĞŶŐĂŐŝŶŐŝŶĨŽƵƌƚLJƉĞƐŽĨƐƉŽƌƚƐŝŶĂ
ƐƉĞĐŝĨŝĐĂƌĞĂĨƌŽŵϭϵϴϱ͘
KǀĞƌĂůů͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚĞŶŶŝƐ ƵŶĚĞƌǁĞŶƚ Ă ƐƵƌŐĞ ŝŶ ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ Ă ĚĞĐƌĞĂƐĞ ŝŶ ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŽŶ
ǁŝƚŚŝŶƚŚŝƐƌĞŐŝŽŶŽǀĞƌƚŝŵĞ͕ǁŝƚŚƚŚĞŽƚŚĞƌƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƌĞůĂƚŝǀĞůLJƐƚĂďůĞ͘DŽƌĞŽǀĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŵŽƐƚ
ĚƌĂƐƚŝĐƐŚŝĨƚŝŶƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJǁĂƐǁŝƚŶĞƐƐĞĚŝŶƌƵŐďLJ͘
dŽƐƚĂƌƚ͕ŝŶϭϵϴϱ͕ƌƵŐďLJǁĂƐƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ǁŝƚŚϮϰϬŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŶŐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐŝŐŶŝĨŝĐĂŶƚůLJ
ŽƵƚŶƵŵďĞƌĞĚƚŚĞŶĞdžƚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŚĂĚŽŶůLJϭϱϬƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐ͘dŚĞƌĞĂĨƚĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƉĞŽƉůĞ
ƉůĂLJŝŶŐƌƵŐďLJĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽϮϬϬŝŶϭϵϵϱ͕ďĞĨŽƌĞƉůƵŵŵĞƚŝŶŐƚŽĂŶĂůůͲƚŝŵĞůŽǁŽĨϱϬŝŶƚŚĞĨŝŶĂůLJĞĂƌ͘dŚŝƐ
ƐƚŽŽĚŝŶƐƚĂƌŬĐŽŶƚƌĂƐƚƚŽƚŚĞƌŝƐĞŽĨƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐĂǁĂƐƚĞĂĚLJŝŶĐƌĞĂƐĞŝŶƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐƚŽĂƉĞĂŬŽĨĂďŽƵƚ
ϮϮϬŝŶϮϬϬϱ͕ŵĂŬŝŶŐŝƚƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚďLJƚŚĞĞŶĚŽĨƚŚĞƉĞƌŝŽĚ͘
dƵƌŶŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŝƌƐƚ LJĞĂƌ͕ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ŚĂĚ ϴϬ ƉůĂLJĞƌƐ͕ ĂůŵŽƐƚ Ϯϱ ŵŽƌĞ ƚŚĂŶ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶ͘ KǀĞƌ ƚŚĞ ĨŽůůŽǁŝŶŐ ĚĞĐĂĚĞ͕ ƚŚĞ ĨŝŐƵƌĞƐ ĨŽƌ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ƌŽƐĞ ƚŽ ĂďŽƵƚ ϵϬ͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚŚŽƐĞ ĨŽƌ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽĂůŽǁŽĨϰϱŝŶϭϵϵϱ͘/ŶƚŚĞƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƉĞƌŝŽĚ͕ƚŚĞƐĞƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐŵĂŝŶƚĂŝŶĞĚƚŚĞŝƌ
ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ĂƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚŶƵŵďĞƌƐƐƚĂLJĞĚĂƚƚŚĞƐĂŵĞůĞǀĞůƵŶƚŝůϮϬϬϱ͘



 

ϮϮ


19
KsZ>>E^KZ  ϴ  ϴнϴнϴнϴ
dʹdĂƐŬĐŚŝĞǀĞŵĞŶƚŶďʹ'ZĂŶĚ>ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ
ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ

dŚŝƐŝƐĂďĂĚůLJĚĞƐŝŐŶĞĚĂŶĚǀĞƌLJĞĂƐLJƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶ͘ƉĂƌƚĨƌŽŵƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌƐďĞŝŶŐƌŝĚŝĐƵůŽƵƐ ʹLJŽƵ͛ĚŐĞƚ
ƐŝŵŝůĂƌŶƵŵďĞƌƐŝŶĂƐĐŚŽŽůʹƚŚĞLJŵŝƐƐĞĚƚŚĞŽƉƉŽƌƚƵŶŝƚLJƚŽĐŚĂůůĞŶŐĞĐĂŶĚŝĚĂƚĞƐǁŝƚŚĐŽůůŽĐĂƚŝŽŶƵƐĂŐĞ
ŝŶĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶƚƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ůŝŬĞƐǁŝŵŵŝŶŐͬĂƚŚůĞƚŝĐƐ͕ŶĞŝƚŚĞƌŽĨǁŚŝĐŚLJŽƵ͞ƉůĂLJ͘͟

dŚĞŽǀĞƌǀŝĞǁŝƐĐůĞĂƌ͘
zŽƵĐŽǀĞƌĞĚƚŚĞƌĞƋƵŝƌĞŵĞŶƚƐŽĨƚŚĞƚĂƐŬ͘
ůůƚŚĞŬĞLJĨĞĂƚƵƌĞƐĂŶĚĚĞƚĂŝůƐĂƌĞŐŝǀĞŶĐůĞĂƌůLJǁŝƚŚƐƵĨĨŝĐŝĞŶƚĚĞƚĂŝůĂŶĚĂĐĐƵƌĂĐLJ͘

DŝŶŽƌŝŶĂĐĐƵƌĂĐŝĞƐůŝŵŝƚLJŽƵƌƐĐŽƌĞƚŽϴĨŽƌd͘


ZKDDE>zKhd&KZd^<ϭE^tZ^
● tƌŝƚĞĂŶŝŶƚƌŽĚƵĐƚŝŽŶƉĂƌĂƉŚƌĂƐŝŶŐƚŚĞŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶƉƌŽǀŝĚĞĚ͘/ĨƉŽƐƐŝďůĞ͕ĐŚĂŶŐĞƚŚĞ
ƐƚƌƵĐƚƵƌĞĨƌŽŵĂŶŽƵŶƉŚƌĂƐĞƚŽĂŶŽƵŶĐůĂƵƐĞ;ĐŚĂŶŐĞƚŚĞĐŚĂƌƚŐŝǀĞƐŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶ
ĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƚŽƚŚĞĐŚĂƌƚƐŚŽǁƐŚŽǁŵĂŶLJ΀͙΁Ϳ͘

● tƌŝƚĞĂĐůĞĂƌŽǀĞƌǀŝĞǁŽĨƚŚĞŵĂŝŶƚƌĞŶĚƐ͕ĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶĐĞƐ͕ĂŶĚƐƚĂŐĞƐ͘/ĨƚŚĞƌĞĂƌĞƚƌĞŶĚƐ
ĂŶĚĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶĐĞƐ;ŝĞŝĨƚŚĞƌĞĂƌĞĐŚĂŶŐĞƐŽǀĞƌƚŝŵĞͿ͕ŐŝǀĞƐŽŵĞŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶĂďŽƵƚďŽƚŚ͘/Ĩ
ƚŚĞƌĞĂƌĞŽŶůLJĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶĐĞƐ͕ĂƐŝŶƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶƐǁŝƚŚŶŽƚŝŵĞƐĐĂůĞ͕ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶĐĞƐŽĨ
ŵŽƌĞƚŚĂŶŽŶĞƚLJƉĞ͘

● WƵƚƚŚĞŽǀĞƌǀŝĞǁĂĨƚĞƌƚŚĞŝŶƚƌŽĚƵĐƚŝŽŶŝŶĂƐĞƉĂƌĂƚĞƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚ͘ŽŶ͛ƚŚŝĚĞŝƚŝŶƚŚĞ
ŝŶƚƌŽĚƵĐƚŝŽŶŽƌĂƚƚŚĞĞŶĚ͕ĂƐŝƚ͛ƐƚŚĞĨŝƌƐƚƚŚŝŶŐƚŚĞĞdžĂŵŝŶĞƌůŽŽŬƐĨŽƌ͘

● ^ĞƉĂƌĂƚĞLJŽƵƌƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚƐǁŝƚŚďůĂŶŬůŝŶĞƐ͘/ƚůŽŽŬƐďĞƚƚĞƌĂŶĚƚŚĞƌĞĐĂŶďĞŶŽĚŽƵďƚ
ƚŚĂƚŝƚŝƐĂŶĞǁƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚ͘

● tƌŝƚĞŽŶĞŽƌŵŽƌĞƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚƐĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶŝƚƐĞůĨĂŶĚŽƌŐĂŶŝƐĞŝƚůŽŐŝĐĂůůLJ͘hƐĞ
ƐŝŐŶƉŽƐƚŝŶŐƉŚƌĂƐĞƐƚŽƐŚŽǁLJŽƵƌŽƌŐĂŶŝƐĂƚŝŽŶƚŽƚŚĞĞdžĂŵŝŶĞƌ͘Ő>ŽŽŬŝŶŐĨŝƌƐƚĂƚƚŚĞ
ŵŽƐƚƉŽƉƵůĂƌƌĞĂƐŽŶƐ͕΀͙΁

● /ƚ͛ƐŶŽƚŶĞĐĞƐƐĂƌLJƚŽǁƌŝƚĞĂĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶ͕ďĞĐĂƵƐĞLJŽƵ͛ǀĞĂůƌĞĂĚLJŐŝǀĞŶƚŚĞŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶŝŶ
ĂŶŽǀĞƌǀŝĞǁ͘

Ϯϯ


20

dŚĞůŝŶĞŐƌĂƉŚƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƐŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĞŶŐĂŐŝŶŐŝŶĨŽƵƌƚLJƉĞƐŽĨƐƉŽƌƚƐŝŶĂ
ƐƉĞĐŝĨŝĐĂƌĞĂĨƌŽŵϭϵϴϱƚŽϮϬϬϱ͘ Đã chú thích [2]: Good introduction

KǀĞƌĂůů͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚĞŶŶŝƐ ƵŶĚĞƌǁĞŶƚ Ă ƐƵƌŐĞ ŝŶ ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ Ă ĚĞĐƌĞĂƐĞ ŝŶ ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŽŶ
ǁŝƚŚŝŶƚŚŝƐƌĞŐŝŽŶŽǀĞƌƚŝŵĞ͕ǁŝƚŚƚŚĞŽƚŚĞƌƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƌĞůĂƚŝǀĞůLJƐƚĂďůĞ͘DŽƌĞŽǀĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŵŽƐƚ Đã chú thích [3]: I’d name them here
ĚƌĂƐƚŝĐƐŚŝĨƚŝŶƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJǁĂƐǁŝƚŶĞƐƐĞĚŝŶƌƵŐďLJ͘ Đã chú thích [4]: Clear overview
dŽƐƚĂƌƚ͕ŝŶϭϵϴϱ͕ƌƵŐďLJǁĂƐƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ǁŝƚŚϮϰϬŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŶŐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐŝŐŶŝĨŝĐĂŶƚůLJ Đã chú thích [5]: This is by far the most obvious
ŽƵƚŶƵŵďĞƌĞĚƚŚĞŶĞdžƚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŚĂĚŽŶůLJϭϱϬƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐ͘dŚĞƌĞĂĨƚĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƉĞŽƉůĞ feature in the chart, so I’d mention it first.

ƉůĂLJŝŶŐƌƵŐďLJĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽϮϬϬŝŶϭϵϵϱ͕ďĞĨŽƌĞƉůƵŵŵĞƚŝŶŐƚŽĂŶĂůůͲƚŝŵĞůŽǁŽĨϱϬŝŶƚŚĞĨŝŶĂůLJĞĂƌ͘dŚŝƐ Đã chú thích [6]: We don’t know this – we only know

ƐƚŽŽĚŝŶƐƚĂƌŬĐŽŶƚƌĂƐƚƚŽƚŚĞƌŝƐĞŽĨƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐĂǁĂƐƚĞĂĚLJŝŶĐƌĞĂƐĞŝŶƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐƚŽĂƉĞĂŬŽĨĂďŽƵƚ what happened in the 20-year period
ϮϮϬŝŶϮϬϬϱ͕ŵĂŬŝŶŐŝƚƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚďLJƚŚĞĞŶĚŽĨƚŚĞƉĞƌŝŽĚ͘
dƵƌŶŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŝƌƐƚ LJĞĂƌ͕ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ŚĂĚ ϴϬ ƉůĂLJĞƌƐ͕ ĂůŵŽƐƚ Ϯϱ ŵŽƌĞ ƚŚĂŶ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶ͘ KǀĞƌ ƚŚĞ ĨŽůůŽǁŝŶŐ ĚĞĐĂĚĞ͕ ƚŚĞ ĨŝŐƵƌĞƐ ĨŽƌ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ƌŽƐĞ ƚŽ ĂďŽƵƚ ϵϬ͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚŚŽƐĞ ĨŽƌ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽĂůŽǁŽĨϰϱŝŶϭϵϵϱ͘/ŶƚŚĞƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƉĞƌŝŽĚ͕ƚŚĞƐĞƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐŵĂŝŶƚĂŝŶĞĚƚŚĞŝƌ
ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ĂƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚŶƵŵďĞƌƐƐƚĂLJĞĚĂƚƚŚĞƐĂŵĞůĞǀĞůƵŶƚŝůϮϬϬϱ͘ Đã chú thích [7]: Information is summarised accurately
and clearly


ΘͲŽŚĞƐŝŽŶĂŶĚŽŚĞƌĞŶĐĞŶď'ZĂŶĚ>ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ
ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ
ĞĐĂƌĞĨƵůǁŝƚŚƚŚĞĨŝŐƵƌĞ͘^ĞĞƚŚĞƚĂďůĞďĞůŽǁ͘
dŚĞŽƌŐĂŶŝƐĂƚŝŽŶŝƐĐůĞĂƌĂŶĚůŽŐŝĐĂů͘


dŚĞƵƐĞŽĨĐŽŚĞƐŝǀĞĚĞǀŝĐĞƐĂŶĚƌĞĨĞƌĞŶĐŝŶŐŝƐĂĐĐƵƌĂƚĞƚŚƌŽƵŐŚŽƵƚ͘





CORRECT USE OF THE FIGURE
Be careful with the use of the word figure. Technically, a figure cannot rise of fall.
Here are some correct uses. Note the prepositions
tŝƚŚƌĞŐĂƌĚƚŽƚŚĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐŝƚLJƌĞĐĞŝǀŝŶŐƚŚĞŵŽƐƚĂƉƉůŝĐĂƚŝŽŶƐ͕ƚŚĞEhƌĞĐĞŝǀĞĚƚŚĞŚŝŐŚĞƐƚ
ŶƵŵďĞƌĨƌŽŵďŽƚŚŵĞŶĂŶĚǁŽŵĞŶ͕ǁŝƚŚĨŝŐƵƌĞƐŽĨϭ͕ϮϬϬĂŶĚϭ͕ϭϬϬƌĞƐƉĞĐƚŝǀĞůLJ
EƵĐůĞĂƌƉŽǁĞƌĂŶĚŚLJĚƌŽƉƌŽĚƵĐĞĚůĞƐƐ͕ǁŝƚŚƌĞƐƉĞĐƚŝǀĞĨŝŐƵƌĞƐŽĨϭϱĂŶĚϱƵŶŝƚƐ

Ϯϰ


21
&ŝŶĂůůLJ͕ďŽƚŚ^ǁĞĚĞŶĂŶĚĞŶŵĂƌŬƐĂǁĨĂůůƐŝŶƐĂůĞƐ͕ǁŝƚŚƌĞƐƉĞĐƚŝǀĞĨŝŐƵƌĞƐŽĨΦϭĂŶĚΦϬ͘ϵ
ŵŝůůŝŽŶ͘
tŝƚŚƌĞŐĂƌĚƚŽĨŽŽĚĂŶĚĚƌŝŶŬ͕ŝŶĐůƵĚŝŶŐƚŽďĂĐĐŽƉƌŽĚƵĐƚƐ͕ďŽƚŚƚŚĞ/ƌŝƐŚĂŶĚdƵƌŬƐƐƉĞŶƚ
ĂƌŽƵŶĚϯϬйŽĨƚŚĞŝƌŶĂƚŝŽŶĂůĞdžƉĞŶĚŝƚƵƌĞŽŶƚŚĞƐĞƉƌŽĚƵĐƚƐ͕ǁŚŝůĞƚŚĞĨŝŐƵƌĞƐĨŽƌ/ƚĂůLJ͕
^ƉĂŝŶ͕ĂŶĚ^ǁĞĚĞŶƐƚŽŽĚĂƚďĞƚǁĞĞŶϭϱйĂŶĚϭϵй͘
ƐĨĂƌĂƐůĞŝƐƵƌĞĂŶĚĞĚƵĐĂƚŝŽŶĂƌĞĐŽŶĐĞƌŶĞĚ͕dƵƌŬŝƐŚƉĞŽƉůĞƐƉĞŶƚƚŚĞŵŽƐƚŽŶƚŚĞƐĞ
ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞƐ͕ĂƚũƵƐƚƵŶĚĞƌϱй͕ǁŚŝĐŚǁĂƐŚŝŐŚĞƌƚŚĂŶŝŶƉĞŽƉůĞŝŶ^ǁĞĚĞŶĂŶĚ/ƚĂůLJ͕ǁŚĞƌĞƚŚĞ
ĨŝŐƵƌĞƐǁĞƌĞĐůŽƐĞƌƚŽϯй
DĞĂŶǁŚŝůĞ͕ďŽƚŚƌĂŝůĂŶĚƌĂŝůĂĐĐŽƵŶƚĞĚĨŽƌĂƌŽƵŶĚϰϬDd͕ǁŚŝůĞƚŚĞĨŝŐƵƌĞĨŽƌƐŚŝƉƉŝŶŐďLJ
ƉŝƉĞůŝŶĞǁĂƐũƵƐƚĂƌŽƵŶĚϱDd
tŝƚŚƌĞŐĂƌĚƚŽĐŽŵŵƵƚŝŶŐ͕ŽŶĂǀĞƌĂŐĞŵĂŶŵĂĚĞϯϬϬŽĐĐĂƐŝŽŶƐ͕ǁŚŝůĞƚŚĞĨŝŐƵƌĞĨŽƌǁŽŵĞŶ
ǁĂƐĂƌŽƵŶĚϮϮϱ
ĞĞĨǁĂƐƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉŽƉƵůĂƌŵĞĂŶƚŝŶϭϵϳϬ͕ĂƐŶĞĂƌůLJϮϮϬŐƌĂŵƐǁĂƐĐŽŶƐƵŵĞĚďLJƚŚĞƚLJƉŝĐĂů
ƉĞƌƐŽŶ͕ĂŶĚĂĨƚĞƌƚŚĂƚ͕ƚŚŝƐĨŝŐƵƌĞĐŽŶƐƵŵƉƚŝŽŶĚĞĐůŝŶĞĚƐƚĞĂĚŝůLJĂŶĚ΀͙΁

DĞĂŶǁŚŝůĞ͕ďŽƚŚƌĂŝůĂŶĚƌĂŝůĂĐĐŽƵŶƚĞĚĨŽƌĂƌŽƵŶĚϰϬDd͕ǁŚŝůĞƚŚĞĨŝŐƵƌĞĨŽƌƐŚŝƉƉŝŶŐďLJ
ƉŝƉĞůŝŶĞǁĂƐũƵƐƚĂƌŽƵŶĚϱDd
dƵƌŶŝŶŐĨŝƌƐƚƚŽƐƚƵĚĞŶƚƐ͛ƌĂƚŝŶŐĨŽƌƚŚĞƋƵĂůŝƚLJŽĨƚĞĂĐŚŝŶŐ͕ϲϱƐƚƵĚĞŶƚƐƌĂƚĞĚŝƚĂƐŐŽŽĚŝŶ
ϮϬϬϬ͘dŚŝƐĨŝŐƵƌĞdŚĞůĞǀĞůŽĨƐĂƚŝƐĨĂĐƚŝŽŶĨĞůůƚŽϲϯŝŶϮϬϬϱďĞĨŽƌĞĞŶĚŝŶŐƚŚĞƉĞƌŝŽĚŚŝŐŚĞƌĂƚ Đã chú thích [8]: I might be being pedantic, but figures
ϲϵŝŶƚŚĞůĂƐƚƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶŶĂŝƌĞ͘ can’t change

/ŶϮϬϬϬ͕ϯϮŐĂǀĞŝƚĂŐŽŽĚƌĂƚŝŶŐďƵƚƚŚŝƐĨŝŐƵƌĞƚŚĞŝƌĂƉƉƌŽǀĂůĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽϯϬŝŶƚŚĞƐĞĐŽŶĚ
ƐƵƌǀĞLJĂŶĚĂĨƵƌƚŚĞƌĚĞĐƌĞĂƐĞǁĂƐƐĞĞŶŝŶƚŚĞůĂƐƚƐƵƌǀĞLJǁŚĞŶŝƚƐƚŽŽĚĂƚϮϳ


dŚĞůŝŶĞŐƌĂƉŚƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƐŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĞŶŐĂŐŝŶŐŝŶĨŽƵƌƚLJƉĞƐŽĨƐƉŽƌƚƐŝŶĂ
ƐƉĞĐŝĨŝĐĂƌĞĂĨƌŽŵϭϵϴϱ͘
KǀĞƌĂůů͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚĞŶŶŝƐ ƵŶĚĞƌǁĞŶƚ Ă ƐƵƌŐĞ ŝŶ ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ Ă ĚĞĐƌĞĂƐĞ ŝŶ ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŽŶ
ǁŝƚŚŝŶƚŚŝƐƌĞŐŝŽŶŽǀĞƌƚŝŵĞ͕ǁŝƚŚƚŚĞŽƚŚĞƌƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƌĞůĂƚŝǀĞůLJƐƚĂďůĞ͘DŽƌĞŽǀĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŵŽƐƚ Đã chú thích [9]: Better: basketball and badminton
ĚƌĂƐƚŝĐƐŚŝĨƚŝŶƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJǁĂƐǁŝƚŶĞƐƐĞĚŝŶƌƵŐďLJ͘
dŽ ƐƚĂƌƚ͕ ŝŶ ϭϵϴϱƚ ƚŚĞ ƐƚĂƌƚ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ƉĞƌŝŽĚ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ǁĂƐ ƚŚĞ ŵŽƐƚ ƉůĂLJĞĚ ƐƉŽƌƚ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ϮϰϬ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ Đã chú thích [10]: Not a correct signposting phrase
ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŶŐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐŝŐŶŝĨŝĐĂŶƚůLJŽƵƚŶƵŵďĞƌĞĚƚŚĞŶĞdžƚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŚĂĚŽŶůLJϭϱϬƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐ͘
dŚĞƌĞĂĨƚĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƉĞŽƉůĞƉůĂLJŝŶŐƌƵŐďLJĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽϮϬϬŝŶϭϵϵϱ͕ďĞĨŽƌĞƉůƵŵŵĞƚŝŶŐƚŽĂŶĂůůͲƚŝŵĞ
ůŽǁŽĨϱϬŝŶƚŚĞĨŝŶĂůLJĞĂƌ͘dŚŝƐƐƚŽŽĚŝŶƐƚĂƌŬĐŽŶƚƌĂƐƚƚŽƚŚĞƌŝƐĞŽĨƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐĂǁĂƐƚĞĂĚLJŝŶĐƌĞĂƐĞŝŶ
ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐƚŽĂƉĞĂŬŽĨĂďŽƵƚϮϮϬŝŶϮϬϬϱ͕ŵĂŬŝŶŐŝƚ ďLJĨĂƌƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚďLJƚŚĞĞŶĚŽĨƚŚĞ Đã chú thích [11]: Better with this – it’s more than twice
ƉĞƌŝŽĚ͘ as popular as any other sport

dƵƌŶŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŝƌƐƚ LJĞĂƌ͕ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ŚĂĚ ϴϬ ƉůĂLJĞƌƐ͕ ĂůŵŽƐƚ Ϯϱ ŵŽƌĞ ƚŚĂŶ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶ͘KǀĞƌƚŚĞĨŽůůŽǁŝŶŐĚĞĐĂĚĞ͕ƚŚĞƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚŶƵŵďĞƌƐĨŝŐƵƌĞƐĨŽƌďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůůƌŽƐĞƚŽĂďŽƵƚϵϬ͕
ǁŚŝůĞƚŚŽƐĞĨŽƌďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽĂůŽǁŽĨϰϱŝŶϭϵϵϱ͘/ŶƚŚĞƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƉĞƌŝŽĚ͕ƚŚĞƐĞƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐ
ŵĂŝŶƚĂŝŶĞĚƚŚĞŝƌƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ĂƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚŶƵŵďĞƌƐƐƚĂLJĞĚĂƚƌŽƵŐŚůLJƚŚĞƐĂŵĞůĞǀĞůƵŶƚŝůϮϬϬϱ͘ Đã chú thích [12]: The numbers participating

Ϯϱ


22
>ZͲͲ>ĞdžŝĐĂůƌĞƐŽƵƌĐĞŶď^ŽŵĞ'ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ͘
ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ
sŽĐĂďƵůĂƌLJŝƐƵƐĞĚĂĐĐƵƌĂƚĞůLJǁŝƚŚƐƵĨĨŝĐŝĞŶƚĨůĞdžŝďŝůŝƚLJƚŽƐŚŽǁƉƌĞĐŝƐĞŵĞĂŶŝŶŐ͕ĂŶĚǁŝƚŚŽŶůLJŵŝŶŽƌ
ŝŶĂĐĐƵƌĂĐŝĞƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŝƐŐŽŽĚĨŽƌĂďĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ




dŚĞůŝŶĞŐƌĂƉŚƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƐŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĞŶŐĂŐŝŶŐŝŶĨŽƵƌƚLJƉĞƐŽĨƐƉŽƌƚƐŝŶĂ
ƐƉĞĐŝĨŝĐĂƌĞĂĨƌŽŵϭϵϴϱ͘
KǀĞƌĂůů͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚĞŶŶŝƐ ƵŶĚĞƌǁĞŶƚ Ă ƐƵƌŐĞ ŝŶ ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ Ă ĚĞĐƌĞĂƐĞ ŝŶ ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŽŶ
ǁŝƚŚŝŶƚŚŝƐƌĞŐŝŽŶŽǀĞƌƚŝŵĞ͕ǁŝƚŚƚŚĞŽƚŚĞƌƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƌĞůĂƚŝǀĞůLJƐƚĂďůĞ͘DŽƌĞŽǀĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŵŽƐƚ
ĚƌĂƐƚŝĐĨĂůůŝŶƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJǁĂƐǁŝƚŶĞƐƐĞĚŝŶƌƵŐďLJ͘ Đã chú thích [13]: I don’t see the point in
experimenting with synonyms for fall. Shift does not
dŽƐƚĂƌƚ͕ŝŶϭϵϴϱ͕ƌƵŐďLJǁĂƐƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ǁŝƚŚϮϰϬŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŶŐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐŝŐŶŝĨŝĐĂŶƚůLJ imply fall; it implies a change from one sport to another,
ŽƵƚŶƵŵďĞƌĞĚƚŚĞŶĞdžƚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŚĂĚŽŶůLJϭϱϬƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐ͘dŚĞƌĞĂĨƚĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƉĞŽƉůĞ and in this case we don’t know what former rugby
players did.
ƉůĂLJŝŶŐ ƌƵŐďLJ ĚƌŽƉƉĞĚ ƚŽ ϮϬϬ ŝŶ ϭϵϵϱ͕ ďĞĨŽƌĞ ƉůƵŵŵĞƚŝŶŐ ƚŽ  Ă ϮϬͲLJĞĂƌ ůŽǁ ŽĨ ϱϬ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŝŶĂů
Đã chú thích [14]: See C&C
LJĞĂƌ͘dŚŝƐƐƚŽŽĚŝŶƐƚĂƌŬĐŽŶƚƌĂƐƚƚŽƚŚĞƌŝƐĞŝŶƚŚĞƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJŽĨƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐĂǁĂƐƚĞĂĚLJŝŶĐƌĞĂƐĞŝŶ
ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐƚŽĂďŽƵƚϮϮϬŝŶϮϬϬϱ͕ŵĂŬŝŶŐŝƚƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚĂƚƚŚĞĞŶĚŽĨƚŚĞƉĞƌŝŽĚ͘ Đã chú thích [15]: I wouldn’t use peak because we
don’t know what happened next
dƵƌŶŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŝƌƐƚ LJĞĂƌ͕ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ŚĂĚ ϴϬ ƉůĂLJĞƌƐ͕ ĂůŵŽƐƚ Ϯϱ ŵŽƌĞ ƚŚĂŶ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶ͘ KǀĞƌ ƚŚĞ ĨŽůůŽǁŝŶŐ ĚĞĐĂĚĞ͕ ƚŚĞ ĨŝŐƵƌĞƐ ĨŽƌ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů ƌŽƐĞ ƚŽ ĂďŽƵƚ ϵϬ͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚŚŽƐĞ ĨŽƌ
ďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽĂůŽǁŽĨϰϱŝŶϭϵϵϱ͘/ŶƚŚĞƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƉĞƌŝŽĚ͕ƚŚĞƐĞƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐŵĂŝŶƚĂŝŶĞĚƚŚĞŝƌ
ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ĂƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚŶƵŵďĞƌƐƐƚĂLJĞĚĂůŵŽƐƚƵŶĐŚĂŶŐĞĚƵŶƚŝůϮϬϬϱ͘

Ϯϲ


23
'ZͲ'ƌĂŵŵĂƚŝĐĂůƌĂŶŐĞĂŶĚĂĐĐƵƌĂĐLJŶď^ŽŵĞ>ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ
ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ
'ƌĂŵŵĂƌŝƐƵƐĞĚĂĐĐƵƌĂƚĞůLJǁŝƚŚƌĞůĂƚŝǀĞůLJĨĞǁĞƌƌŽƌƐĂŶĚĂǁŝĚĞƌĂŶŐĞŽĨƐƚƌƵĐƚƵƌĞƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞ
ŐŽŽĚĨŽƌĂďĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ͘


dŚĞůŝŶĞŐƌĂƉŚƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƐŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĞŶŐĂŐŝŶŐŝŶĨŽƵƌƚLJƉĞƐŽĨƐƉŽƌƚƐŝŶĂ
ƐƉĞĐŝĨŝĐĂƌĞĂĨƌŽŵϭϵϴϱ͘
KǀĞƌĂůů͕ ǁŚŝůĞ ƚĞŶŶŝƐ ƵŶĚĞƌǁĞŶƚ Ă ƐƵƌŐĞ ŝŶ ƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ Ă ĚĞĐƌĞĂƐĞ ŝŶ ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŽŶ
ǁŝƚŚŝŶƚŚŝƐƌĞŐŝŽŶŽǀĞƌƚŝŵĞ͕ǁŝƚŚƚŚĞŽƚŚĞƌƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƌĞůĂƚŝǀĞůLJƐƚĂďůĞ͘DŽƌĞŽǀĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŵŽƐƚ
ĚƌĂƐƚŝĐƐŚŝĨƚŝŶƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJǁĂƐǁŝƚŶĞƐƐĞĚŝŶƌƵŐďLJ͘
dŽ ƐƚĂƌƚ͕ ŝŶ ϭϵϴϱ͕ ƌƵŐďLJ ǁĂƐ ƚŚĞ ŵŽƐƚ ƉůĂLJĞĚ ƐƉŽƌƚ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ϮϰϬ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ ƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂƚŝŶŐ͕ ĂŶĚ ŝƚ Đã chú thích [16]: Which refers to whatever precedes
ƐŝŐŶŝĨŝĐĂŶƚůLJŽƵƚŶƵŵďĞƌĞĚƚŚĞŶĞdžƚƐƉŽƌƚ͕ƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŚĂĚŽŶůLJϭϱϬƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐ͘dŚĞƌĞĂĨƚĞƌ͕ƚŚĞŶƵŵďĞƌ and you want it to refer to rugby

ŽĨƉĞŽƉůĞƉůĂLJŝŶŐƌƵŐďLJĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽϮϬϬŝŶϭϵϵϱ͕ďĞĨŽƌĞƉůƵŵŵĞƚŝŶŐƚŽĂŶĂůůͲƚŝŵĞůŽǁŽĨϱϬŝŶƚŚĞĨŝŶĂů
LJĞĂƌ͘dŚŝƐƐƚŽŽĚŝŶƐƚĂƌŬĐŽŶƚƌĂƐƚƚŽƚŚĞƌŝƐĞŽĨƚĞŶŶŝƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐĂǁĂƐƚĞĂĚLJŝŶĐƌĞĂƐĞŝŶƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚƐƚŽĂ
ƉĞĂŬŽĨĂďŽƵƚϮϮϬŝŶϮϬϬϱ͕ŵĂŬŝŶŐŝƚƚŚĞŵŽƐƚƉůĂLJĞĚƐƉŽƌƚďLJƚŚĞĞŶĚŽĨƚŚĞƉĞƌŝŽĚ͘
dƵƌŶŝŶŐ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐ ƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĨŝƌƐƚ LJĞĂƌ͕ ϴϬ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ ƉůĂLJĞĚ ďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůů͕ ĂůŵŽƐƚ Đã chú thích [17]: This is the most obvious way of
ϮϱŵŽƌĞƚŚĂŶďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶ͘KǀĞƌƚŚĞĨŽůůŽǁŝŶŐĚĞĐĂĚĞ͕ƚŚĞĨŝŐƵƌĞƐĨŽƌďĂƐŬĞƚďĂůůƌŽƐĞƚŽĂďŽƵƚϵϬ͕ǁŚŝůĞ giving the figure

ƚŚŽƐĞĨŽƌďĂĚŵŝŶƚŽŶĚƌŽƉƉĞĚƚŽĂůŽǁŽĨϰϱŝŶϭϵϵϱ͘/ŶƚŚĞƌĞŵĂŝŶŝŶŐƉĞƌŝŽĚ͕ƚŚĞƐĞƚǁŽƐƉŽƌƚƐŵĂŝŶƚĂŝŶĞĚ
ƚŚĞŝƌƉŽƉƵůĂƌŝƚLJ͕ĂƐƉĂƌƚŝĐŝƉĂŶƚŶƵŵďĞƌƐƐƚĂLJĞĚĂƚƚŚĞƐĂŵĞůĞǀĞůƵŶƚŝůϮϬϬϱ͘

 

Ϯϳ


24
KsZ>>E^KZ ϴ  ϴнϴнϴнϵ
^>KtΘ>Z'Z DK>E^tZ
tZ/d/E'd^<Ϯ

zŽƵƐŚŽƵůĚƐƉĞŶĚĂďŽƵƚϰϬŵŝŶƵƚĞƐŽŶƚŚŝƐƚĂƐŬ͘

tƌŝƚĞĂďŽƵƚƚŚĞĨŽůůŽǁŝŶŐƚŽƉŝĐ͗

/ĨŽůĚƉĞŽƉůĞĂƌĞŶŽůŽŶŐĞƌƉŚLJƐŝĐĂůůLJ͕ŵĞŶƚĂůůLJŽƌĨŝŶĂŶĐŝĂůůLJĂďůĞƚŽůŽŽŬĂĨƚĞƌ
ƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͕LJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐƐŚŽƵůĚďĞůĞŐĂůůLJƌĞƐƉŽŶƐŝďůĞĨŽƌ
ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚŝŶŐƚŚĞŵ͘
dŽǁŚĂƚĞdžƚĞŶƚĚŽLJŽƵĂŐƌĞĞŽƌĚŝƐĂŐƌĞĞ͍
'ŝǀĞƌĞĂƐŽŶƐĨŽƌLJŽƵƌĂŶƐǁĞƌĂŶĚŝŶĐůƵĚĞĂŶLJƌĞůĞǀĂŶƚĞdžĂŵƉůĞƐĨƌŽŵLJŽƵƌŽǁŶ
ŬŶŽǁůĞĚŐĞŽƌĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞ͘

tƌŝƚĞĂƚůĞĂƐƚϮϱϬǁŽƌĚƐ͘

Ϯϴ


25
KƌŝŐŝŶĂůĂŶƐǁĞƌͲ

KƉŝŶŝŽŶƐĂƌĞĚŝǀŝĚĞĚŽŶǁŚĞƚŚĞƌŝƚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞůĞŐĂůůLJŵĂŶĚĂƚŽƌLJĨŽƌLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƚŽƚĂŬĞĐĂƌĞŽĨ
ŽůĚĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŝĨƚŚĞůĂƚƚĞƌĂƌĞƵŶĂďůĞƚŽĚŽƐŽƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ǀĞŶƚŚŽƵŐŚƚŚŝƐƉƌŽƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶŚĂƐŝƚƐ
ŵĞƌŝƚƐŝŶĐĞƌƚĂŝŶƌĞƐƉĞĐƚƐ͕/ďĞůŝĞǀĞŝƚƉƌĞƐĞŶƚƐƐĞǀĞƌĂůŝƐƐƵĞƐĂŶĚƚŚƵƐƐŚŽƵůĚŶŽƚďĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĂĚŽƉƚĞĚ͘

dŚŽƐĞĂĚǀŽĐĂƚŝŶŐĨŽƌĞůĚĞƌĐĂƌĞũƵƐƚŝĨLJƚŚĞŝƌƌĂƚŝŽŶĂůĞǁŝƚŚƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶƐĂŶĚƐŽĐŝĞƚĂůŶŽƌŵƐ͘/ŶŵĂŶLJĂƐƚĞƌŶ
ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕ůŝŬĞŚŝŶĂĂŶĚ:ĂƉĂŶ͕LJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƚĞŶĐĂƌƌLJƚŚĞƌĞƐƉŽŶƐŝďŝůŝƚLJŽĨĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌƚŚĞ
ĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJǁŚĞŶƚŚĞLJĂƌĞŶŽƚƉŚLJƐŝĐĂůůLJŽƌŵĞŶƚĂůůLJĐĂƉĂďůĞ ŽĨƚĂŬŝŶŐĐĂƌĞŽĨƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ƚŚŝƐ
ůŽŶŐƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐĐƵůƚƵƌĂůƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞŚĂƐďĞĞŶƉƌĞƐĞƌǀĞĚĨŽƌŐĞŶĞƌĂƚŝŽŶƐ͘dŚĞĂďƐĞŶĐĞŽĨƐƵĐŚŶŽƌŵƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚ
ŝŶ ƐŽĐŝĂů ŝŶƐƚĂďŝůŝƚLJ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ ďĞŝŶŐ ƵŶǁŝůůŝŶŐůLJ ƐĞŶƚ ƚŽ ŶƵƌƐŝŶŐ ŚŽŵĞƐ ĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ ƚŚĞŝƌ ǁŝůů Žƌ ůĞĨƚ
ŶĞŐůĞĐƚĞĚŝŶƚŚĞŝƌŚŽŵĞƐ͘ůĞŐĂůŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶŝŶƚŚŝƐĞŶǀŝƌŽŶŵĞŶƚǁŽƵůĚŽŶůLJƐĞƌǀĞƚŽƌĞŝŶĨŽƌĐĞĞdžŝƐƚŝŶŐ
ĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞƐ͘

,ŽǁĞǀĞƌ͕/ĚŽŶŽƚďĞůŝĞǀĞƐƵĐŚĂŶŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵĂĚĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĐŽŵƉƵůƐŽƌLJ͘zŽƵŶŐĞƌƉĞŽƉůĞ
ǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌŝůLJĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌŽůĚĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚŝŶŵŽƌĞƉŽƐŝƚŝǀĞŽƵƚĐŽŵĞƐ͕ƉĂƌƚŝĐƵůĂƌůLJŝŶĞŵŽƚŝŽŶĂů
ƚĞƌŵƐ͘&ŽƌĐŝŶŐƚŚĞŵƚŽĚŽƐŽĐŽƵůĚĨŽƐƚĞƌƌĞƐĞŶƚŵĞŶƚĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞLJŽƵƚŚ͕ĂŶĚƐƵĐŚĂŶĂƚƚŝƚƵĚĞŵĂLJĂŵƉůŝĨLJ
ƚŚĞĨĞĞůŝŶŐŽĨƵƐĞůĞƐƐŶĞƐƐĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĐĂƵƐĞŵĞŶƚĂůĚŝƐƚƌĞƐƐ͕ĂŶĚƵůƚŝŵĂƚĞůLJŚĂƌŵƚŚĞŝƌŽǀĞƌĂůůǁĞůůͲ
ďĞŝŶŐ͘'ŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚƐĐĂŶƚĂŬĞĂŵŽƌĞƉƌŽĂĐƚŝǀĞƌŽůĞŝŶƚŚŝƐŵĂƚƚĞƌƚŚƌŽƵŐŚƚŚĞŝƌƐŽĐŝĂůǁĞůĨĂƌĞƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͘
,ŝŐŚĞƌ ƚĂdžĞƐ ƐŚŽƵůĚ ďĞ ŝŵƉŽƐĞĚ ŽŶ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ ǁŝƚŚ ŚŝŐŚĞƌ ŝŶĐŽŵĞƐ ƚŽ ŐĞŶĞƌĂƚĞ ŵŽƌĞ ĨƵŶĚŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ
ĂĨĨŽƌĚĂďůĞŵĞĚŝĐĂůĐĂƌĞĂŶĚĂĐĐŽŵŵŽĚĂƚŝŽŶƚŽƚŚŽƐĞŝŶŶĞĞĚ͕ƌĂƚŚĞƌƚŚĂŶĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJŝŶǀŽůǀŝŶŐĞĂĐŚŵĞŵďĞƌ
ŽĨƐŽĐŝĞƚLJŝŶĚŽŝŶŐƐŽ͘

/ŶĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶ͕ĚĞƐƉŝƚĞƚŚĞĨĂĐƚƚŚĂƚŽůĚĞƌƉĞŽƉůĞĂƌĞĐĂƌĞĚĨŽƌďLJLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƐŽĐŝĞƚŝĞƐŝŶŵĂŶLJ
ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕/ĐŽŶƚĞŶĚƚŚĂƚƐƵĐŚĚĞĐŝƐŝŽŶƐƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵĂĚĞŽŶĂǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌLJďĂƐŝƐ͘dŚĞŐŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚ͕ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚ
ƚŚĞŝƌ ƚĂdž ƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͕ ĐĂŶ ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞ ĂĚĞƋƵĂƚĞ ĨŝŶĂŶĐŝĂů ĂŶĚ ŵĞĚŝĐĂů ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚ ĨŽƌ ĚŝƐĂĚǀĂŶƚĂŐĞĚ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ
ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ͘

/ŶĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶ͕ƚŚĞůĂĐŬŽĨũŽďŽƉƉŽƌƚƵŶŝƚŝĞƐĂŶĚƐŽĐŝĞƚĂůƉƌĞũƵĚŝĐĞĂŐĂŝŶƐƚĐƌŝŵŝŶĂůƐĐĂŶĐŽŶƚƌŝďƵƚĞƚŽƚŚĞŝƌ
ƌĞͲŽĨĨĞŶĚŝŶŐĂĨƚĞƌƌĞůĞĂƐĞ͘,ŽǁĞǀĞƌ͕/ĐŽŶƚĞŶĚƚŚĂƚĞĨĨĞĐƚŝǀĞƐŽĐŝĂůǁĞůĨĂƌĞĂŶĚĞĚƵĐĂƚŝŽŶĂůƉƌŽŐƌĂŵƐĐĂŶ
ƉůĂLJĂĐƌƵĐŝĂůƌŽůĞŝŶĂĚĚƌĞƐƐŝŶŐƚŚĞƐĞŝƐƐƵĞƐ͘

 

Ϯϵ


26
KsZ>>E^KZ  ϴ  ϴнϴнϴнϵ

dZʹdĂƐŬZĞƐƉŽŶƐĞŶďʹ'ZĂŶĚ>ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ

ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ

zŽƵŵĞŶƚŝŽŶĞĚLJŽƵŶŐƉĞŽƉůĞ͕ďƵƚƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶƐĂLJƐLJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŝƐŶŽƚƚŚĞƐĂŵĞ
ƚŚŝŶŐ͘

zŽƵƌƉƌŽƉŽƐĞĚƐŽůƵƚŝŽŶǁŽƵůĚďĞĂǀĞƌLJĞdžƉĞŶƐŝǀĞŽŶĞŝŶƚŚĞůŽŶŐƚĞƌŵ͕ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJĂƐĂŐŝŶŐƉŽƉƵůĂƚŝŽŶƐ
ĂƌĞƌŝƐŝŶŐ͘

EĞǀĞƌƚŚĞůĞƐƐ͕ŝƚ͛ƐĂǁĞůůͲĚĞǀĞůŽƉĞĚƌĞƐƉŽŶƐĞ͘

zŽƵŚĂǀĞĂĐůĞĂƌƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶƚŚƌŽƵŐŚŽƵƚĂŶĚĂůůƉĂƌƚƐŽĨƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶĂƌĞĂĚĚƌĞƐƐĞĚ͘

zŽƵƌƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶŝƐĐŽŚĞƌĞŶƚĂŶĚǁĞůůͲĂƌŐƵĞĚ͘

dŚĞŝĚĞĂƐĂƌĞƌĞůĞǀĂŶƚ͕ĞdžƚĞŶĚĞĚĂŶĚƚŚĞƌĞĂƌĞŶŽĐŽŶƚƌĂĚŝĐƚŝŽŶƐ͘

s/KEZ/E^dKZD/E'&KZd^<Ϯ
ƐLJŽƵ͛ƌĞƉůĂŶŶŝŶŐĂŶĚǁƌŝƚŝŶŐLJŽƵƌĂŶƐǁĞƌ͕ƌĞŵĞŵďĞƌƚŽĐŽŶƐƚĂŶƚůLJĂƐŬLJŽƵƌƐĞůĨŝĨLJŽƵ͛ƌĞ
ĂŶƐǁĞƌŝŶŐƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶ͘ŚĞĐŬďĂĐŬƚŽƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶĂĨĞǁƚŝŵĞƐĂƐLJŽƵƚŚŝŶŬŽĨŝĚĞĂƐƚŽ
ŵĂŬĞƐƵƌĞƚŚĞLJΖ͛ƌĞĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJƌĞůĞǀĂŶƚ͘

● DĂŬĞƐƵƌĞLJŽƵƌŝŶƚƌŽĚƵĐƚŝŽŶĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJĂĚĚƌĞƐƐĞƐƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶ͘

● DĂŬĞƐƵƌĞLJŽƵƌŝĚĞĂƐĂĚĚƌĞƐƐĂůůƉĂƌƚƐŽĨƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶ͘/ĨƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶĂƐŬƐĨŽƌ
ƐŽůƵƚŝŽŶƐ͕ŝŶƚŚĞƉůƵƌĂů͕LJŽƵŵƵƐƚƐƵŐŐĞƐƚĂƚůĞĂƐƚϮ͘

● DĂŬĞƐƵƌĞLJŽƵƌŵĂŝŶŝĚĞĂƐ͕ĂƐƐƚĂƚĞĚŝŶƚŚĞĨŝƌƐƚƐĞŶƚĞŶĐĞŽĨƚŚĞŵĂŝŶďŽĚLJ
ƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚƐ͕ĂƌĞĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJƌĞůĞǀĂŶƚƚŽƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶ͘

● DĂŬĞƐƵƌĞLJŽƵƌƐƵƉƉŽƌƚŝŶŐŝĚĞĂƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚĨŽůůŽǁƚŚĞŵĂŝŶŝĚĞĂƐŝŶƚŚĞŵĂŝŶďŽĚLJ
ƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚƐ͕ĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJƐƵƉƉŽƌƚƚŚĞŵĂŝŶŝĚĞĂ͘

● DĂŬĞƐƵƌĞLJŽƵƌƐƵƉƉŽƌƚŝŶŐŝĚĞĂƐĂƌĞĚĞǀĞůŽƉĞĚ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŵĞĂŶƐƚŚĞƌĞƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵŽƌĞ
ŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƚŝŽŶŝŶƚŚĞĨŽƌŵŽĨĞǀŝĚĞŶĐĞ͕ƌĞĂƐŽŶƐ͕ĂŶĚͬŽƌĞdžĂŵƉůĞƐ͘

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 ● sĞƌLJŽĨƚĞŶ͕ƚŚĞŽƉƚŝŵƵŵŶƵŵďĞƌŽĨƐƵƉƉŽƌƚŝŶŐŝĚĞĂƐŝƐϮ͘dŚŝƐĂůůŽǁƐLJŽƵƚŽ
ĚĞǀĞůŽƉLJŽƵƌŝĚĞĂƐĂŶĚLJŽƵƌůĞƐƐůŝŬĞůLJƚŽŚĂǀĞŝƐŽůĂƚĞĚ͕ƵŶƐƵƉƉŽƌƚĞĚŝĚĞĂƐƚŚĂƚ
ĐŽƵůĚŐĞƚLJŽƵĂϲĨŽƌdZ͘͞ƐŽŵĞŵĂLJďĞƵŶĚĞǀĞůŽƉĞĚͬƵŶĐůĞĂƌ͟ʹďĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϲdZ͘

● ĞĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJĐĂƌĞĨƵůŝĨLJŽƵ͛ǀĞĂŶƐǁĞƌĞĚƐŝŵŝůĂƌƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶďĞĨŽƌĞ͕ĂƐƚŚĞƌĞǁŝůůĂůǁĂLJƐ
ďĞŝŵƉŽƌƚĂŶƚĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶĐĞƐ͘

● DĂŬĞƐƵƌĞLJŽƵƌĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJĂŶƐǁĞƌƐƚŚĞƋƵĞƐƚŝŽŶ͕ƚŚĂƚŝƚŝƐĐŽŶƐŝƐƚĞŶƚǁŝƚŚ
ƚŚĞŝĚĞĂƐŝŶƚŚĞŵĂŝŶďŽĚŝĞƐ͕ĂŶĚƚŚĂƚŝƚĚŽĞƐŶŽƚĐŽŶƚƌĂĚŝĐƚƚŚĞŝŶƚƌŽĚƵĐƚŝŽŶ͘


KƉŝŶŝŽŶƐĂƌĞĚŝǀŝĚĞĚŽŶǁŚĞƚŚĞƌŝƚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞůĞŐĂůůLJŵĂŶĚĂƚŽƌLJĨŽƌLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƚŽƚĂŬĞĐĂƌĞŽĨ
ŽůĚĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŝĨƚŚĞůĂƚƚĞƌĂƌĞƵŶĂďůĞƚŽĚŽƐŽƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ǀĞŶƚŚŽƵŐŚƚŚŝƐƉƌŽƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶŚĂƐŝƚƐ
ŵĞƌŝƚƐŝŶĐĞƌƚĂŝŶƌĞƐƉĞĐƚƐ͕/ďĞůŝĞǀĞŝƚƉƌĞƐĞŶƚƐƐĞǀĞƌĂůŝƐƐƵĞƐĂŶĚƚŚƵƐƐŚŽƵůĚŶŽƚďĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĂĚŽƉƚĞĚ͘ Đã chú thích [18]: Good introduction with a clear
position
dŚŽƐĞĂĚǀŽĐĂƚŝŶŐĨŽƌĞůĚĞƌĐĂƌĞũƵƐƚŝĨLJƚŚĞŝƌƌĂƚŝŽŶĂůĞǁŝƚŚƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶƐĂŶĚƐŽĐŝĞƚĂůŶŽƌŵƐ͘/ŶŵĂŶLJĂƐƚĞƌŶ
Đã chú thích [19]: Unclear phrase
ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕ůŝŬĞŚŝŶĂĂŶĚ:ĂƉĂŶ͕LJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƚĞŶĐĂƌƌLJƚŚĞƌĞƐƉŽŶƐŝďŝůŝƚLJŽĨĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌƚŚĞ
Đã chú thích [20]: good main idea, but there is not
ĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJǁŚĞŶƚŚĞLJĂƌĞŶŽƚƉŚLJƐŝĐĂůůLJŽƌŵĞŶƚĂůůLJĐĂƉĂďůĞ ŽĨƚĂŬŝŶŐĐĂƌĞŽĨƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ƚŚŝƐ tradition of mandating it
ůŽŶŐƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐĐƵůƚƵƌĂůƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞŚĂƐďĞĞŶƉƌĞƐĞƌǀĞĚĨŽƌŐĞŶĞƌĂƚŝŽŶƐ͘dŚĞĂďƐĞŶĐĞŽĨƐƵĐŚŶŽƌŵƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚ
ŝŶ ƐŽĐŝĂů ŝŶƐƚĂďŝůŝƚLJ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ ďĞŝŶŐ ƵŶǁŝůůŝŶŐůLJ ƐĞŶƚ ƚŽ ŶƵƌƐŝŶŐ ŚŽŵĞƐ ĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ ƚŚĞŝƌ ǁŝůů Žƌ ůĞĨƚ Đã chú thích [21]: what kind of social instability – you
ŶĞŐůĞĐƚĞĚŝŶƚŚĞŝƌŚŽŵĞƐ͘ůĞŐĂůŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶŝŶƚŚŝƐĞŶǀŝƌŽŶŵĞŶƚǁŽƵůĚŽŶůLJƐĞƌǀĞƚŽƌĞŝŶĨŽƌĐĞĞdžŝƐƚŝŶŐ mean like this?

ĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞƐ͘ Đã chú thích [22]: it’s not really social instability; it’s
just a personal tragedy
,ŽǁĞǀĞƌ͕/ĚŽŶŽƚďĞůŝĞǀĞƐƵĐŚĂŶŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵĂĚĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĐŽŵƉƵůƐŽƌLJ͘zŽƵŶŐĞƌƉĞŽƉůĞ Đã chú thích [23]: Relevant supporting ideas
ǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌŝůLJĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌŽůĚĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚŝŶŵŽƌĞƉŽƐŝƚŝǀĞŽƵƚĐŽŵĞƐ͕ƉĂƌƚŝĐƵůĂƌůLJŝŶĞŵŽƚŝŽŶĂů Đã chú thích [24]: Good main idea
ƚĞƌŵƐ͘&ŽƌĐŝŶŐƚŚĞŵƚŽĚŽƐŽĐŽƵůĚĨŽƐƚĞƌƌĞƐĞŶƚŵĞŶƚĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞLJŽƵƚŚ͕ĂŶĚƐƵĐŚĂŶĂƚƚŝƚƵĚĞŵĂLJĂŵƉůŝĨLJ
Đã chú thích [25]: Probably not young people in most
ƚŚĞĨĞĞůŝŶŐŽĨƵƐĞůĞƐƐŶĞƐƐĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĐĂƵƐĞŵĞŶƚĂůĚŝƐƚƌĞƐƐ͕ĂŶĚƵůƚŝŵĂƚĞůLJŚĂƌŵƚŚĞŝƌŽǀĞƌĂůůǁĞůůͲ cases
ďĞŝŶŐ͘'ŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚƐĐĂŶƚĂŬĞĂŵŽƌĞƉƌŽĂĐƚŝǀĞƌŽůĞŝŶƚŚŝƐŵĂƚƚĞƌƚŚƌŽƵŐŚƚŚĞŝƌƐŽĐŝĂůǁĞůĨĂƌĞƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͘ Đã chú thích [26]: Surely you mean family members –
,ŝŐŚĞƌ ƚĂdžĞƐ ƐŚŽƵůĚ ďĞ ŝŵƉŽƐĞĚ ŽŶ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ ǁŝƚŚ ŚŝŐŚĞƌ ŝŶĐŽŵĞƐ ƚŽ ŐĞŶĞƌĂƚĞ ŵŽƌĞ ĨƵŶĚŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ not total strangers
ĂĨĨŽƌĚĂďůĞŵĞĚŝĐĂůĐĂƌĞĂŶĚĂĐĐŽŵŵŽĚĂƚŝŽŶƚŽƚŚŽƐĞŝŶŶĞĞĚ͕ƌĂƚŚĞƌƚŚĂŶĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJŝŶǀŽůǀŝŶŐĞĂĐŚŵĞŵďĞƌ Đã chú thích [27]: You mean young people, but the
ŽĨƐŽĐŝĞƚLJŝŶĚŽŝŶŐƐŽ͘ question is not about young people
Đã chú thích [28]: This sounds like an incredibly
/ŶĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶ͕ĚĞƐƉŝƚĞƚŚĞĨĂĐƚƚŚĂƚŽůĚĞƌƉĞŽƉůĞĂƌĞĐĂƌĞĚĨŽƌďLJLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƐŽĐŝĞƚŝĞƐŝŶŵĂŶLJ expensive solution. Perhaps care-givers could be
ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕/ĐŽŶƚĞŶĚƚŚĂƚƐƵĐŚĚĞĐŝƐŝŽŶƐƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵĂĚĞŽŶĂǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌLJďĂƐŝƐ͘dŚĞŐŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚ͕ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚ recognised as such and get some form of social
security payment
ƚŚĞŝƌ ƚĂdž ƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͕ ĐĂŶ ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞ ĂĚĞƋƵĂƚĞ ĨŝŶĂŶĐŝĂů ĂŶĚ ŵĞĚŝĐĂů ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚ ĨŽƌ ĚŝƐĂĚǀĂŶƚĂŐĞĚ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ
Đã chú thích [29]: Relevant supporting ideas
ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ͘
Đã chú thích [30]: Good conclusion, consistent with th
  main ideas

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ΘͲŽŚĞƐŝŽŶĂŶĚŽŚĞƌĞŶĐĞŶď'ZĂŶĚ>ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ

ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ

dŚĞŽƌŐĂŶŝƐĂƚŝŽŶŝƐĞdžĐĞůůĞŶƚĂŶĚĞĂƐLJƚŽĨŽůůŽǁ͘
dŚĞƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚƐŚĂǀĞĂŶĂƚƵƌĂůĨůŽǁŽĨŝĚĞĂƐĂŶĚĐůĞĂƌĐĞŶƚƌĂůƚŽƉŝĐƐ͘hƐĞŽĨĐŽŚĞƐŝǀĞĚĞǀŝĐĞƐǁŝƚŚŽŶůLJ
ŵŝŶŽƌĞƌƌŽƌƐ͘
dŚĞƉĂƌĂŐƌĂƉŚƐŚĂǀĞĂŶĂƚƵƌĂůĨůŽǁǁŚŝĐŚŝƐĐŚĂƌĂĐƚĞƌŝƐƚŝĐŽĨŚŝŐŚďĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞĂŶƐǁĞƌ͘






KƉŝŶŝŽŶƐĂƌĞĚŝǀŝĚĞĚŽŶǁŚĞƚŚĞƌŝƚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞůĞŐĂůůLJŵĂŶĚĂƚŽƌLJĨŽƌLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƚŽƚĂŬĞĐĂƌĞŽĨ
ŽůĚĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŝĨƚŚĞůĂƚƚĞƌĂƌĞƵŶĂďůĞƚŽĚŽƐŽƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ǀĞŶƚŚŽƵŐŚƚŚŝƐƉƌŽƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶŚĂƐŝƚƐ
ŵĞƌŝƚƐŝŶĐĞƌƚĂŝŶƌĞƐƉĞĐƚƐ͕/ďĞůŝĞǀĞŝƚƉƌĞƐĞŶƚƐƐĞǀĞƌĂůŝƐƐƵĞƐĂŶĚƚŚƵƐƐŚŽƵůĚŶŽƚďĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĂĚŽƉƚĞĚ͘

dŚŽƐĞ ĂĚǀŽĐĂƚŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ƚŚŝƐ ƉŽůŝĐLJ ũƵƐƚŝĨLJ ƚŚĞŝƌ ƌĂƚŝŽŶĂůĞ ǁŝƚŚ ƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶƐ ĂŶĚ ƐŽĐŝĞƚĂů ŶŽƌŵƐ͘ /Ŷ
ŵĂŶLJĂƐƚĞƌŶĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕ůŝŬĞŚŝŶĂĂŶĚ:ĂƉĂŶ͕LJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƚĞŶĐĂƌƌLJƚŚĞƌĞƐƉŽŶƐŝďŝůŝƚLJŽĨ
ĐĂƌŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJ ǁŚĞŶ ƚŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ŶŽƚ ƉŚLJƐŝĐĂůůLJ Žƌ ŵĞŶƚĂůůLJ ĐĂƉĂďůĞ ŽĨ ƚĂŬŝŶŐ ĐĂƌĞ ŽĨ
ƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ƚŚŝƐůŽŶŐƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐĐƵůƚƵƌĂůƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞŚĂƐďĞĞŶƉƌĞƐĞƌǀĞĚĨŽƌŐĞŶĞƌĂƚŝŽŶƐ͘dŚĞĂďƐĞŶĐĞŽĨƐƵĐŚ
ŶŽƌŵƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚŝŶƐŽĐŝĂůŝŶƐƚĂďŝůŝƚLJ͕ǁŝƚŚƚŚĞĞůĚĞƌůLJďĞŝŶŐƵŶǁŝůůŝŶŐůLJƐĞŶƚƚŽŶƵƌƐŝŶŐŚŽŵĞƐĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ
ƚŚĞŝƌ ǁŝůů ŽƌůĞĨƚ ŶĞŐůĞĐƚĞĚ ŝŶ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŚŽŵĞƐ͘ ůĞŐĂů ŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶ ŝŶ ƚŚŝƐ ĞŶǀŝƌŽŶŵĞŶƚ ǁŽƵůĚ ŽŶůLJ ƐĞƌǀĞ ƚŽ
ƌĞŝŶĨŽƌĐĞĞdžŝƐƚŝŶŐĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞƐ͘ Đã chú thích [31]: Good

,ŽǁĞǀĞƌ͕/ĚŽŶŽƚďĞůŝĞǀĞƐƵĐŚĂŶŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵĂĚĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĐŽŵƉƵůƐŽƌLJ͘zŽƵŶŐĞƌƉĞŽƉůĞ Đã chú thích [32]: Good topic sentence

ǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌŝůLJĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌŽůĚĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚŝŶŵŽƌĞƉŽƐŝƚŝǀĞŽƵƚĐŽŵĞƐ͕ƉĂƌƚŝĐƵůĂƌůLJŝŶĞŵŽƚŝŽŶĂů
ƚĞƌŵƐ͘&ŽƌĐŝŶŐƚŚĞŵƚŽĚŽƐŽĐŽƵůĚĨŽƐƚĞƌƌĞƐĞŶƚŵĞŶƚĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞLJŽƵƚŚ͕ĂŶĚƐƵĐŚĂŶĂƚƚŝƚƵĚĞŵĂLJĂŵƉůŝĨLJ
ƚŚĞĨĞĞůŝŶŐŽĨƵƐĞůĞƐƐŶĞƐƐĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĐĂƵƐĞŵĞŶƚĂůĚŝƐƚƌĞƐƐ͕ĂŶĚƵůƚŝŵĂƚĞůLJŚĂƌŵƚŚĞŝƌŽǀĞƌĂůůǁĞůůͲ
ďĞŝŶŐ͘'ŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚƐĐĂŶƚĂŬĞĂŵŽƌĞƉƌŽĂĐƚŝǀĞƌŽůĞŝŶƚŚŝƐŵĂƚƚĞƌƚŚƌŽƵŐŚƚŚĞŝƌƐŽĐŝĂůǁĞůĨĂƌĞƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͘
,ŝŐŚĞƌ ƚĂdžĞƐ ƐŚŽƵůĚ ďĞ ŝŵƉŽƐĞĚ ŽŶ ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ ǁŝƚŚ ŚŝŐŚĞƌ ŝŶĐŽŵĞƐ ƚŽ ŐĞŶĞƌĂƚĞ ŵŽƌĞ ĨƵŶĚŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ
ĂĨĨŽƌĚĂďůĞŵĞĚŝĐĂůĐĂƌĞĂŶĚĂĐĐŽŵŵŽĚĂƚŝŽŶƚŽƚŚŽƐĞŝŶŶĞĞĚ͕ƌĂƚŚĞƌƚŚĂŶĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJŝŶǀŽůǀŝŶŐĞĂĐŚŵĞŵďĞƌ
ŽĨƐŽĐŝĞƚLJŝŶĚŽŝŶŐƐŽ͘ Đã chú thích [33]: Good

/ŶĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶ͕ĚĞƐƉŝƚĞƚŚĞĨĂĐƚƚŚĂƚŽůĚĞƌƉĞŽƉůĞĂƌĞĐĂƌĞĚĨŽƌďLJLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƐŽĐŝĞƚŝĞƐŝŶŵĂŶLJ
ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕/ĐŽŶƚĞŶĚƚŚĂƚƐƵĐŚĚĞĐŝƐŝŽŶƐƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŵĂĚĞŽŶĂǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌLJďĂƐŝƐ͘dŚĞŐŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚ͕ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚ
ŝƚƐ ƚĂdž ƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͕ ĐĂŶ ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞ ĂĚĞƋƵĂƚĞ ĨŝŶĂŶĐŝĂů ĂŶĚ ŵĞĚŝĐĂů ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚ ĨŽƌ ĚŝƐĂĚǀĂŶƚĂŐĞĚ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ
ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ͘

ϯϮ


29
>ZͲͲ>ĞdžŝĐĂůƌĞƐŽƵƌĐĞŶď^ŽŵĞ'ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ
ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ

/ƚ͛ƐƉƌŽďĂďůLJŽŬĨŽƌĂŶϴ͕ďƵƚƚŚĞƉŚƌĂƐĞĨŽƌĞůĚĞƌĐĂƌĞƉƵƚƐƚŚĂƚŝŶũĞŽƉĂƌĚLJ͘
sŽĐĂďƵůĂƌLJŝƐƵƐĞĚĂĐĐƵƌĂƚĞůLJǁŝƚŚƐƵĨĨŝĐŝĞŶƚĨůĞdžŝďŝůŝƚLJƚŽƐŚŽǁƉƌĞĐŝƐĞŵĞĂŶŝŶŐ͕ĂŶĚǁŝƚŚŽŶůLJŵŝŶŽƌ
ŝŶĂĐĐƵƌĂĐŝĞƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚŝƐŐŽŽĚĨŽƌĂďĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϴ͘




KƉŝŶŝŽŶƐĂƌĞĚŝǀŝĚĞĚŽŶǁŚĞƚŚĞƌŝƚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞ ůĞŐĂůůLJŵĂŶĚĂƚŽƌLJĨŽƌLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƚŽƚĂŬĞĐĂƌĞŽĨ Đã chú thích [34]: Legally required
ŽůĚĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŝĨƚŚĞůĂƚƚĞƌĂƌĞƵŶĂďůĞƚŽĚŽƐŽƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ǀĞŶƚŚŽƵŐŚƚŚŝƐƉƌŽƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶŚĂƐŝƚƐ
ŵĞƌŝƚƐ ŝŶ ĐĞƌƚĂŝŶ ƌĞƐƉĞĐƚƐ͕ / ďĞůŝĞǀĞ ŝƚ ƉƌĞƐĞŶƚƐ ƐĞǀĞƌĂů ƉƌŽďůĞŵƐ ĂŶĚ ƚŚƵƐ ƐŚŽƵůĚ ŶŽƚ ďĞ ƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJ Đã chú thích [35]: Much better collocation.
ĂĚŽƉƚĞĚ͘ Besides
A problem is something that needs to be resolved, or
something that is a barrier to success, and something
dŚŽƐĞĂĚǀŽĐĂƚŝŶŐĨŽƌĞůĚĞƌĐĂƌĞũƵƐƚŝĨLJƚŚĞŝƌƌĂƚŝŽŶĂůĞǁŝƚŚƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶƐĂŶĚƐŽĐŝĞƚĂůŶŽƌŵƐ͘/ŶŵĂŶLJĂƐƚĞƌŶ that is negative.
ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕ůŝŬĞŚŝŶĂĂŶĚ:ĂƉĂŶ͕LJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƚĞŶĐĂƌƌLJƚŚĞƌĞƐƉŽŶƐŝďŝůŝƚLJŽĨĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌƚŚĞ An issue is a topic, a matter, a subject of debate. The
two are similar but different.
ĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJǁŚĞŶƚŚĞLJĂƌĞŶŽƚƉŚLJƐŝĐĂůůLJŽƌŵĞŶƚĂůůLJĐĂƉĂďůĞ ŽĨƚĂŬŝŶŐĐĂƌĞŽĨƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ƚŚŝƐ Freezing fog is a problem but inflation is a political
ůŽŶŐƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐĐƵůƚƵƌĂůƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞŚĂƐďĞĞŶƉƌĞƐĞƌǀĞĚĨŽƌŐĞŶĞƌĂƚŝŽŶƐ͘dŚĞĂďƐĞŶĐĞŽĨƐƵĐŚŶŽƌŵƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚ issue.

ŝŶ ƐĞƌŝŽƵƐ ŚĂƌĚƐŚŝƉ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ ďĞŝŶŐ ƵŶǁŝůůŝŶŐůLJ ƐĞŶƚ ƚŽ ŶƵƌƐŝŶŐ ŚŽŵĞƐ ĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ ƚŚĞŝƌ Đã chú thích [36]: not a meaningful phrase
See C&C
ǁŝůůŽƌůĞĨƚŶĞŐůĞĐƚĞĚŝŶƚŚĞŝƌŚŽŵĞƐ͘ůĞŐĂůŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶŝŶƚŚŝƐĞŶǀŝƌŽŶŵĞŶƚǁŽƵůĚŽŶůLJƐĞƌǀĞƚŽƌĞŝŶĨŽƌĐĞ
Đã chú thích [37]: Better: Asian
ĞdžŝƐƚŝŶŐĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞƐ͘

,ŽǁĞǀĞƌ͕ / ĚŽ ŶŽƚ ďĞůŝĞǀĞ ƐƵĐŚ ĂŶ ŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶ ƐŚŽƵůĚ ďĞ ŵĂĚĞ ĐŽŵƉƵůƐŽƌLJ͘ zŽƵŶŐĞƌ ƉĞŽƉůĞ Đã chú thích [38]: better without this
ǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌŝůLJ ĐĂƌŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ŽůĚĞƌ ĨĂŵŝůLJ ŵĞŵďĞƌƐ ĐŽƵůĚ ƌĞƐƵůƚ ŝŶ ŵŽƌĞ ƉŽƐŝƚŝǀĞ ŽƵƚĐŽŵĞƐ͕
ƉĂƌƚŝĐƵůĂƌůLJŝŶĞŵŽƚŝŽŶĂůƚĞƌŵƐ͘&ŽƌĐŝŶŐƚŚĞŵƚŽĚŽƐŽĐŽƵůĚĨŽƐƚĞƌƌĞƐĞŶƚŵĞŶƚĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞLJŽƵƚŚ͕ĂŶĚ
ƐƵĐŚĂŶĂƚƚŝƚƵĚĞŵĂLJĂŵƉůŝĨLJƚŚĞĨĞĞůŝŶŐŽĨƵƐĞůĞƐƐŶĞƐƐĂŵŽŶŐƚŚĞĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĐĂƵƐĞŵĞŶƚĂůĚŝƐƚƌĞƐƐ͕ĂŶĚ
ƵůƚŝŵĂƚĞůLJ ŚĂƌŵ ƚŚĞŝƌ ŽǀĞƌĂůů ǁĞůůͲďĞŝŶŐ͘ 'ŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚƐ ĐĂŶ ƚĂŬĞ Ă ŵŽƌĞ ƉƌŽĂĐƚŝǀĞ ƌŽůĞ ŝŶ ƚŚŝƐ ŵĂƚƚĞƌ
ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚƚŚĞŝƌƐŽĐŝĂůǁĞůĨĂƌĞƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͘,ŝŐŚĞƌƚĂdžĞƐƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŝŵƉŽƐĞĚŽŶŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐǁŝƚŚŚŝŐŚĞƌŝŶĐŽŵĞƐ
ƚŽ ŐĞŶĞƌĂƚĞ ŵŽƌĞ ĨƵŶĚŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ĂĨĨŽƌĚĂďůĞ ŵĞĚŝĐĂů ĐĂƌĞ ĂŶĚ ĂĐĐŽŵŵŽĚĂƚŝŽŶ ĨŽƌ ƚŚŽƐĞ ŝŶ ŶĞĞĚ͕ ƌĂƚŚĞƌ
ƚŚĂŶĚŝƌĞĐƚůLJŝŶǀŽůǀŝŶŐĞĂĐŚĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŝŶĚŽŝŶŐƐŽ͘

/Ŷ ĐŽŶĐůƵƐŝŽŶ͕ ĚĞƐƉŝƚĞ ƚŚĞ ĨĂĐƚ ƚŚĂƚ ŽůĚĞƌ ƉĞŽƉůĞ ĂƌĞ ĐĂƌĞĚ ĨŽƌ ďLJ LJŽƵŶŐĞƌ ĨĂŵŝůLJ ŵĞŵďĞƌƐ ŝŶ
ŵĂŶLJĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕/ĐŽŶƚĞŶĚƚŚĂƚƐƵĐŚĚĞĐŝƐŝŽŶƐƐŚŽƵůĚďĞ ŵĂĚĞ ŽŶĂǀŽůƵŶƚĂƌLJ ďĂƐŝƐ͘dŚĞŐŽǀĞƌŶŵĞŶƚ͕

ϯϯ


30
ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚƚŚĞŝƌƚĂdžƐLJƐƚĞŵƐ͕ĐĂŶƉƌŽǀŝĚĞĂĚĞƋƵĂƚĞĨŝŶĂŶĐŝĂůĂŶĚŵĞĚŝĐĂůƐƵƉƉŽƌƚĨŽƌĚŝƐĂĚǀĂŶƚĂŐĞĚĞůĚĞƌůLJ
ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ͘

 

ϯϰ


31
'ZͲ'ƌĂŵŵĂƚŝĐĂůƌĂŶŐĞĂŶĚĂĐĐƵƌĂĐLJŶď^ŽŵĞ>ZĞƌƌŽƌƐŚĂǀĞŶŽƚďĞĞŶĐŽƌƌĞĐƚĞĚ
ĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϵ

'ƌĂŵŵĂƌŝƐƵƐĞĚĂĐĐƵƌĂƚĞůLJŝŶĂǁŝĚĞǀĂƌŝĞƚLJŽĨƐƚƌƵĐƚƵƌĞƐ͕ǁŚŝĐŚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞŐŽŽĚĨŽƌĂďĂŶĚƐĐŽƌĞϵ͘
WƵŶĐƚƵĂƚŝŽŶŝƐƵƐĞĚĐŽƌƌĞĐƚůLJƚŚƌŽƵŐŚŽƵƚ͘
ƉƉƌŽƉƌŝĂƚĞƐƚƌƵĐƚƵƌĞƐĂƌĞƵƐĞĚƚŚƌŽƵŐŚŽƵƚ͘





KƉŝŶŝŽŶƐĂƌĞĚŝǀŝĚĞĚŽŶǁŚĞƚŚĞƌŝƚƐŚŽƵůĚďĞůĞŐĂůůLJŵĂŶĚĂƚŽƌLJĨŽƌLJŽƵŶŐĞƌŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐƚŽƚĂŬĞĐĂƌĞŽĨ
ŽůĚĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŝĨƚŚĞůĂƚƚĞƌĂƌĞƵŶĂďůĞƚŽĚŽƐŽƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ǀĞŶƚŚŽƵŐŚƚŚŝƐƉƌŽƉŽƐŝƚŝŽŶŚĂƐŝƚƐ
ŵĞƌŝƚƐŝŶĐĞƌƚĂŝŶƌĞƐƉĞĐƚƐ͕/ďĞůŝĞǀĞŝƚƉƌĞƐĞŶƚƐƐĞǀĞƌĂůŝƐƐƵĞƐĂŶĚƚŚƵƐƐŚŽƵůĚŶŽƚďĞƵŶŝǀĞƌƐĂůůLJĂĚŽƉƚĞĚ͘

dŚŽƐĞĂĚǀŽĐĂƚŝŶŐĨŽƌĞůĚĞƌĐĂƌĞũƵƐƚŝĨLJƚŚĞŝƌƌĂƚŝŽŶĂůĞǁŝƚŚƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶƐĂŶĚƐŽĐŝĞƚĂůŶŽƌŵƐ͘/ŶŵĂŶLJĂƐƚĞƌŶ Đã chú thích [39]: See C&C

ĐŽƵŶƚƌŝĞƐ͕ůŝŬĞŚŝŶĂĂŶĚ:ĂƉĂŶ͕LJŽƵŶŐĞƌĨĂŵŝůLJŵĞŵďĞƌƐŽĨƚĞŶĐĂƌƌLJƚŚĞƌĞƐƉŽŶƐŝďŝůŝƚLJŽĨĐĂƌŝŶŐĨŽƌƚŚĞ
ĞůĚĞƌůLJ͕ĞƐƉĞĐŝĂůůLJǁŚĞŶƚŚĞLJĂƌĞŶŽƚƉŚLJƐŝĐĂůůLJŽƌŵĞŶƚĂůůLJĐĂƉĂďůĞŽĨƚĂŬŝŶŐĐĂƌĞŽĨƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ dŚŝƐ
ůŽŶŐƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐĐƵůƚƵƌĂůƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞŚĂƐďĞĞŶƉƌĞƐĞƌǀĞĚĨŽƌŐĞŶĞƌĂƚŝŽŶƐ͘dŚĞĂďƐĞŶĐĞŽĨƐƵĐŚŶŽƌŵƐĐŽƵůĚƌĞƐƵůƚ
ŝŶ ƐŽĐŝĂů ŝŶƐƚĂďŝůŝƚLJ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ĞůĚĞƌůLJ ďĞŝŶŐ ƵŶǁŝůůŝŶŐůLJ ƐĞŶƚ ƚŽ ŶƵƌƐŝŶŐ ŚŽŵĞƐ ĂŐĂŝŶƐƚ ƚŚĞŝƌ ǁŝůů Žƌ ůĞĨƚ
ŶĞŐůĞĐƚĞĚŝŶƚŚĞŝƌŚŽŵĞƐ͘ůĞŐĂůŽďůŝŐĂƚŝŽŶŝŶƚŚŝƐĞŶǀŝƌŽŶŵĞŶƚǁŽƵůĚŽŶůLJƐĞƌǀĞƚŽƌĞŝŶĨŽƌĐĞĞdžŝƐƚŝŶŐ
ĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJƉƌĂĐƚŝĐĞƐ͘

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