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Authentic Self

So, for Christmas, I got a PINK Stanley Tumbler. I know, jealous right? Oh, and have you

seen the price for Taylor Swift tickets in Kansas City?! NO BIG DEAL. I’ll see you there! And

don’t get me started on Lululemon. #musthave Now, stop. This is the dialogue swirling around

me in my current high school culture. As a young girl, this idolization was fundamental to my

foundation. I was on a path where everyone talks, dresses, acts, and thinks the same. This path

looks exciting at first glance, but looks can be deceiving. I figured that as long as I “fit in” I

wouldn’t bring attention to myself, and everything would be fine. Right? Wrong. I was very very

wrong. You see, the problem with this journey is that it doesn’t lead to happiness. Well, at least

not genuine happiness. So, I began to question my authentic self. But, before we look through

that lens, we must have a better understanding of what it means to truly be genuine. In a Harvard

Business Review Article in 2022, states authenticity has become the gold standard for leadership.

Professor Herminia Ibarra explains how leaders can develop an “adaptively authentic” style by

experimenting with many different leadership approaches and why this is necessary for society.

We need to strive to become more authentic. Our culture can do this by first determining the true

value of authenticity. Then, discuss its necessity within our current culture. And finally, we will

discover the steps to becoming more original.

William Shakespeare coined the phrase “No legacy is so rich as honesty”. So, what is

authenticity? Psychologist Kennon Sheldon describes authentic behavior as “behavior that we

have freely chosen and which allows us to express who we are.” When you are a genuine person,

it helps you act in ways that reflect your values and identity. Just like I can assume that we all

identify as speech kids and truly value that judges ranking, but we also should recognize that

authenticity is different from person to person. So what authenticity is for you could feel fake to

someone else. But regardless, we all must know more, act on, and engage in living more genuine
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lives. Historically, originality has also held merit in the evolution of mankind's story. From

Aristotle to Orwell, society is posed with this central question of authenticity. In the 2021

Harvard University Press lecture “Sincerity and Authenticity,” literary critic and professor

Lionel Trilling described how society in past centuries was held together by the commitment of

people to fulfilling their stations in life, whether they were blacksmiths or barons. Trilling argued

that people in modern societies were much less willing to give up their individuality, and instead

value authenticity. Neil Pasricha, the author of 1000 Awesome Things, explains in a

TEDxToronto talk that authenticity may be key to living a good life: “When you’re authentic,

you put yourself in places, situations and in conversations that you love and that you enjoy. And

you end up following your heart and feeling very fulfilled.” In other words, he suggests that

originality could be linked to happiness if it leads us to pursue things that are more enjoyable and

fulfilling to us.

Authenticity is all around us and whether you like it or not it is a part of all of our lives.

So, why should we strive to be more original? One place that we see and can apply authenticity

in our lives is our relationships. Now, my dating life is nonexistent and my closest relationship is

with my mom, but I think we can all assume that we need to be real with each other. Heck, who

hasn’t been a part of a BE REAL selfie moment? So, if social media is trying to collect our

REAL moments, is there a true push for authenticity in 2023? Authentic people tend to have

happier relationships, but many people may avoid authenticity because they fear rejection in

those BE REAL moments. As the author of “Turning Your Down into Up” and counselor

Gregory L. Jantz explains, people often are inauthentic because they believe it’s what others

want to see: “instead of showing up as yourself, you show up as the person you think everyone

else will like.” This is something that I struggle with heavily. It wasn’t until about a year ago
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through maturity and personal experiences that I started to slowly break free from pleasing others

and caring about what other people thought of me. So many of us can relate. Psychologist and

researcher Brené Brown explains that being authentic in our interactions with others is crucial for

developing meaningful relationships. Brown explains that “In order for connection to happen, we

have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.” When Brown studied research participants who

felt fulfilled and connected to others in their personal lives, she found that they had something in

common—they were able to be true to themselves. In other words, authenticity appears to be

crucial for developing closeness and connection to others—but, paradoxically, a fear of rejection

may be what keeps us from expressing our authentic selves. Importantly, however, some people

may fear being their original selves because they fear that those around them will be less than

supportive. For example, for LGBTQ+ individuals, people who may face religious oppression, or

those who have invisible disabilities, being open about one’s authentic self can involve greater

risks. In a study conducted in 2022 by research professor Richard M. Ryan at the University of

Rochester, he tested out this idea by asking the LGBTQ+ population how they felt about

different types of social situations. They found themselves in situations such as with friends,

family, or with co-workers, that's when LGBTQ+ individuals felt that a particular social

environment supported their autonomy—in other words, they felt able to be who they are,

resulting in lower levels of depression and higher self-esteem. Finding more supportive and

accepting people to surround yourself with can sometimes be an important first step to living

more authentically.

“Honesty and transparency makes you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.”

Mother Teresa’s wise words push us all to discover our own ways to be more authentic.

Authenticity is becoming increasingly relevant and vital in our society. Given its importance,
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how can we work to live in more authentic ways? Now, I have to admit that I do not own a

Stanley Tumbler, I am not a concert-bound Swifty, and Lululemon is extremely overpriced.

#nothanks. But my peers are heavily infested with this cultural craze! As a result of this fandom,

it was my wish to motivate my peers to rise above the necessity of our trending culture. In her

TED Talk “Listening to Shame,” psychologist and researcher Brené Brown explains that one

thing we can do is to re-frame vulnerability as a brave act. She points out that people often don’t

show vulnerability because they don’t want to seem weak. But when we do open up, others are

more likely to applaud our bravery rather than to judge us. One way we can work to be more

genuine is by reminding ourselves that being vulnerable and authentic is a sign of bravery and

courage. The second technique that we can use is to cultivate mindfulness. Author Gregory Jantz

states in his book “Turning Your Down Into Up” explains that it’s common for people to have

trouble staying focused in the present moment. He argues that staying present and mindful is key

for authenticity: Jantz states that “Mastering the art of presence perhaps is the single most

effective way to ensure authenticity in any situation.” Becoming more mindful is easier than you

might think: you can try a phone app, to increase mindfulness, or incorporate a short 30-second

mindfulness practice into your daily routine. The third technique is to seek out situations that let

you be authentic. It has been suggested that self-awareness is an important component of

authenticity. Jantz explains one way to become more authentic is to use this self-awareness to

figure out which situations and contexts allow us to be more authentic. So, by becoming more

comfortable with vulnerability, working to be more mindful, and becoming more self-aware as a

way to figure out who you are and who you want to be, it’s possible to live more authentically. If

you learned to practice and adapt to these small practices, you could change your life.
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When it is all said and done, I know that accepting my authenticity is a journey, not a

sprint. I, along with so many others, am growing and changing all of the time. The summer

between my sophomore and junior year, I found myself. I think it would be considered “my glow

up” but, honestly it holds more merit. That was the summer I became me. I stopped traveling on

the path that everyone took and decided to make my own. When I made that change, that is when

I found true happiness. I stopped caring what other people thought, found my style, and I was

able to show others my true self. This will only evolve over time. Together, we can all make this

change. So today, we first determined the value of authenticity. Then, we discussed its necessity

within our current culture. And finally, we discovered steps to becoming more original. Socrates

stated, “To find yourself, think for yourself.” So, if I can do it, so can you.

Quoted Words: 122

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Works Cited

“(PDF) the Role of Authenticity in Healthy Psychological Functioning and Subjective

Well-Being.” ResearchGate,

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www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hope-relationships/201503/4-ways-be-more-authentic-p

erson. Accessed 11 Jan. 2023.

“Being and Time.” HarperCollins,

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2023.

Brown, Brené. “Listening to Shame.” TED, 16 Mar. 2012,

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---. “The Power of Vulnerability.” TED, 23 Dec. 2010,

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LCSW, Kim Pratt. “Soft Belly Mindfulness Practice: 30 Seconds to Greater Ease.”

HealthyPsych.com, 4 Apr. 2016,

healthypsych.com/soft-belly-mindfulness-practice-30-seconds-to-greater-ease/. Accessed

11 Jan. 2023.

Legate, Nicole, et al. “Is Coming out Always a “Good Thing”? Exploring the Relations of

Autonomy Support, Outness, and Wellness for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals.”

Social Psychological and Personality Science, vol. 3, no. 2, 20 June 2011, pp. 145–152,

10.1177/1948550611411929. Accessed 26 May 2020.

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“On Kierkegaard, Authenticity, and How a Person Should Be.” Literary Hub, 5 May 2020,

lithub.com/on-kierkegaard-authenticity-and-how-a-person-should-be/.

Pasricha, Neil. “The 3 A’s of Awesome.” Www.ted.com, 1294,

www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_of_awesome.

PhD, Elizabeth Hopper. “Can Your Phone Make You More Mindful? 3 Mindfulness Apps to

Try.” HealthyPsych.com, 27 Aug. 2015,

healthypsych.com/can-your-phone-make-you-more-mindful-3-mindfulness-apps-to-try/.

Accessed 11 Jan. 2023.

---. “Positive Psychology: The Theory and Science - Part I.” HealthyPsych.com, 18 July 2017,

healthypsych.com/positive-psychology-theory-science-overview/. Accessed 11 Jan. 2023.

“Sincerity and Authenticity — Lionel Trilling.” Harvard.edu, 2019,

www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674808614. Accessed 4 Sept. 2019.

“The Study of Authenticity by Elizabeth Hopper, PhD.” HealthyPsych.com, 12 Feb. 2018,

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