Dealing

with Stress
Stress is the body’s emotional and physical response to some type of pressure. That pressure
can arise from so many sources, both external and those pressures we place on ourselves:

+ Life events
+ Illness (yours or a loved one’s)
+ Work demands
+ Home
+ Relationships
+ Changes (even good ones) like moving, starting a new school or job, having
a baby, getting married, bringing home a new puppy etc.
+ Even things that are fun like vacations or holiday celebrations can be stressful.

As you can see, stress can come from all kinds of sources. Many of these are happy events so it
can be confusing. What they all have in common is that they require a level of your time,
attention, and cognitive and emotional engagement.

Stress, the kind we consider troublesome, occurs when there are too many demands on you
and not enough coping resources.

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How Stress Happens?
Stress is rooted in our “fight or flight” response. When triggered by something, your body
releases hormones that are intended to help us respond quickly to a perceived danger.

That “fight or flight” response is what tells you to move away from a growling dog. On the
other hand, it’s also the same response that helps you get through a tough workout or an
important school presentation. Once the stressor is gone, your body returns to a normal state.

Sometimes though, we encounter more stress than we can handle. We run out of coping
resources. Your coping bucket is empty. When that happens, your body can get stuck in that
“fight or flight” loop. When that happens, you feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and unable to
cope. Over time, this can cause physical and emotional issues that are generally recognized
as stress.

What Are Your Stressors?

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Sometimes though, we encounter more stress than we can handle. We run out of coping
resources. Your coping bucket is empty. When that happens, your body can get stuck in that
“fight or flight” loop. When that happens, you feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and unable to
cope. Over time, this can cause physical and emotional issues that are generally recognized
as stress.

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The Cycle of Stress
When your stress level gets high, it triggers changes in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
These thoughts, feelings and behaviors influence each other and create a self-reinforcing
loop, something like this:and create a self-reinforcing loop, something like this:

Thoughts
(This is a disaster! I can’t do this! Out of control!)

Feelings
(Frustration, stressed out, overwhelm, hopelessness)

Behaviors
(avoiding tasks, poor sleep, irritability, self-medicating)

What Are Your Stress-related

Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors?

Thoughts

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Feelings

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Physical Responses

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Behaviors

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Dealing with Stress
The key to dealing with stress is to either increase resources or decrease demands.

One powerful way to do that is to change how you think about your stressors. When you’re

stressed, emotions can take over and rule your thinking. Shifting your thinking to a more

rational/logical can bring back a sense of control and clarity, allowing you to see the situation

clearly and not through the lens of emotion.

Change Your Thinking

+ Stop! When your thoughts are spinning, stop what you’re doing. Take a few dee

breaths.

+ Think it through! What’s stressing you? Here are some of the things you might

want to ask yourself:

+ What am I reacting to?

+ What is it that I think might happen?

+ Could this actually happen? Is this a fact or an assumption?

+ What is the worst case scenario?

+ What is the best case scenario?

+ What is most likely to happen?

+ Is this way of thinking helpful right now?

+ How important is this issue right now?

+ Will this matter in a week, a month, or 6 months from now?

+ Why is this situation distressing? What meaning are you giving it?

+ Am I underestimating my ability to cope?

+ Am I assuming what others are thinking or feeling about me?

+ Am I trying to predict what will happen? Am I trying to control what will happen?

+ What is within my control right now?

+ What advice would I give a friend in the same situation?

+ Is there another way to view or approach this situation?

+ What would be the most helpful action to take?

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Write down your thoughts about the situation. Give yourself time to process it and sort it out.

You can use the template on the following page to sort your thoughts out and consider

possible alternatives.

Do Something Different
Once you’ve explored just what’s stressing you, it’s time to do something different. You can

choose to either increase your resources or decrease demands on your coping reserves.

Here are some possible actions to consider:

+ Make time for yourself each day. Take a break, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Mini breaks can be just as soothing as longer breaks.

+ Create a healthy balance in your life. Make time for work but also time for fun

and relaxing activities. The old saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” applies

here. While you have responsibilities, you also need rest and relaxation. When you’re

rested and refreshed, refill your cup, you have the energy to meet the other needs

in your life.

+ Make sure you’re taking care of the big 3: sleep, exercise, and nutrition. Eating well,

sleeping well, and moving daily are healthy things you can do to help you handle

stressful things.

+ Listen to soothing sounds – music, soothing sound apps

+ Practice mindfulness in your everyday life.

+ Learn and practice grounding techniques.

+ Learn and practice mindful breathing techniques

+ Do something you enjoy such as a hobby or do something creative

+ Learn and practice relaxation techniques – try several and choose the ones

that work best for you.

+ Make time to connect with others whether it’s a gathering of friends and family

or volunteering your time to help others.

+ Set limits with others. Learn to say NO and mean it.

+ Journal

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 + Exercise – movement is a known stress-reliever.

+ Reach out. Talk to someone if you need more support.

Now it’s Your Turn

On the following page, explore your stressors and possible options for change.

What’s stressing me out?

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What am I thinking? What are the thoughts about what’s happening?

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What am I doing to try and deal with it right now? Is that working for me
or is that keeping me stuck?

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What are some strategies I am willing to try to change how I cope?

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