REFLECTIONS

A
Perfect
If you are finding more dirt in
the garden of your life than
flowers, maybe you’ve got

World your eyes too close to the

ground. Look up!

By Chalsey Dooley

It was just a li�le thing, that smile on my baby’s face, but it changed my Think how much you would
perspective on life. miss—the unpredictability of life that
As he woke and looked up at me, he was looking at what ma�ered adds the sense of surprise; the joy
most in the world to him—me! He didn’t care that his diaper needed of forgiving and being forgiven; the
changing or that I was dressed in mismatched pajamas, my hair a mess. strong, abiding bonds of friendship
He just loved me and loved being with me. He didn’t need perfection; love that are formed through adversity, and
made it all right. That moment of holding him and taking in those rays of the positive character traits that are
love clarified something I’d been thinking about earlier. formed much the same way—if you
The lack of perfection in life has always rubbed me the wrong way. and everyone around you was perfect
When someone said or did something that irked me, I would o�en argue from the start.
my case against it in my mind. Why do there have to be things like personality Adding negative thoughts to
clashes, carelessness, inconsideration, injustice, pessimism, putdowns? These a negative situation, I realized,
things are real, and they are wrong! I wish these things wouldn’t exist. If never brings positive results. I
everyone—myself included—could just get their act together, my life could be one determined then and there to
of blissful perfection. Perfection, I reasoned, was the only thing that could look for and find the positive
ever relieve my irritations. But I also knew that could never be. This was opportunities and experiences that
real life. I needed another option. are hidden behind the mask of
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that what I really imperfection.
wanted was for the world to revolve around me—my wishes, my feelings, When my baby couldn’t sleep
my preferences, my priorities. Something had to change, and this time it later that day, I decided to make the
had to be me, regardless of the faults of others. But how? I’d tried before. best of a bad situation by pu�ing
Then that morning, as I held my baby, a whisper of a thought came to my new lesson into practice. I put
me. Would you want your baby to be perfect right from the start? what I had been sure was best
A�er pondering that thought, I couldn’t imagine something I would for him and me on hold, and my
want less. If he had been able to walk and run the day he was born, I would husband and I took some time to
never get to see the look of thrill and accomplishment on his face when he sing and laugh with him. It was a
took his first steps and I would miss that special feeling of holding him in perfectly happy moment that we all
my arms, knowing that he was completely dependent on me. If he had been would have missed had everything
able to talk perfectly from the time he was born, I would never experience been “perfect” that day.
the joy of hearing him speak his first word. If he knew everything that an Every situation and person
adult knows, I would never get to see him overcome with wonder at some we encounter can make our lives a
new discovery and I would never have the fulfillment of teaching him ride of joy and surprise—if we look
something new. So many things I would miss. No, his imperfection makes beyond. Difficulties, losses, hurts,
him just perfect. I wouldn’t have him any other way! lacks—think of each as a clue in a
What is it then, I asked myself, that makes his imperfection different from the treasure hunt, the door to a secret
other imperfections around me? vault where you will find beautiful
And the answer came. It’s love. treasures from God. “Ask, and it
That was it! That was what I was lacking. That was what I needed more will be given to you; seek, and
of in order to cope bravely and cheerfully when confronted by problems I you will find; knock, and it will be
wished didn’t exist. opened to you” (Ma�hew 7:7).

R343GP—May 2006
Topics: happiness, perfectionism, relations with others
Reflections © 2006 The Family International
Visit our Web site at www.thefamily.org.
Chalsey Dooley is a full-time member of the Family International
in the Mideast.

If you’d like more inspirational reading, subscribe to Activated.

Contact the address on this sheet or visit www.activated.org.