There was only one evening in Goa when I really enjoyed myself, and that was when one of the Aussies almost got into a fight with a Swiss hippie. It was quite late, and everyone had been drinking for several hours in the resort’s only hang-out: The Jimmy Hendrix Bar Experiance. The Swiss guy was talking at the top of his voice, trying to impress some girl with a story about how he’d risked his life trying to get into Tibet, but how in the end it had proved impossible. Garth, one of the larger Australians, interrupted him by tapping him on the shoulder. ‘Hey — Pinktrousers,’ he said, ‘could you turn it down a bit. We’re trying to play riotous drinking-games over here.’ 147This made all the Aussies (and me) laugh. ‘What is this?? replied the Swiss guy. ‘It’s just a small thing, but (a) you’re talking far too loudly, and (b) you’re talking shit.’ ‘This isn’t shit, my friend. I spent a month almost starving in a prison in Golmud after trying to hitch down into Tibet. This is not shit.’ ‘Listen mate, I don’t mean to brag, but any arschole with two brain cells to rub together knows that the Golmud route has been closed for years. I managed to get into Tibet only a few months ago, using the southern route from Kashgar.’ ‘That’s bullshit, I researched this route, and it has even more police road-blocks than from Golmud,’ ‘Golmud’s got a whole economy running off travellers who want to look as if they’ve tried to get into Tibet, but can’t actually be arsed to try anything dangerous. Anyone who’s serious about it goes from Kashgar.’ ‘Bullshit. I’m perfectly serious about Tibet, but you can’t get past the police.’ ‘Not if you sit around in cosy Golmud and act like you’re on some package holiday, doing whatever the police tell you.’ ‘Golmud is not cosy!’ ‘If you’re a real traveller, you’ll use a bit of initiative and take a few educated risks, [ hitched a ride with a trucker who knew the location of the road-blocks, and he dropped me off before each one. I trekked tound behind the police, and he picked me up on the other side,’ ‘That’s not possible. This takes weeks, and there are no towns to buy food.’ ‘Damn right it takes weeks, and I lived off porridge which Ishared with the driver, but it’s possible. If you really want to, you can get to Tibet.’ 148 *You are a lying, stupid Australian. Everyone knows that Tibet is closed to travellers.’ ‘Sure it is — officially.’ “You're lying. No one would let you stay there. ‘I didn’t say I stayed there. I just said I got there. *To Lhasa?’ ‘Sure.’ “You’re a bullshitter.’ ‘It’s fucking true, mate, so I suggest you shut up and sit You... you.. and I suppose you ve been to Burma as well, have you?’ ‘As it happens, yes. I trekked over the border from Thailand. Stayed a couple of weeks with the mountain rebels.’ “That’s easy. I know hundreds of people who’ve done that. I trekked into Afghanistan and spent a month with the mujahedin.’ : ‘Well, bully for you Mr Pinktrousers. You’re a real hero. ‘Don’t be sarcastic with me, Australian idiot.’ ‘Who are you calling an idiot? I’m not the one who couldn’t even get into Tibet.’ ee ‘If you think I believe this story, then you are an idiot. ‘Fuck you.’ ‘No - fuck you.’ “No = fuck you.’ The two of them traded insults for a while longer, with Pinktrousers eventually switching into Swiss German, which is a damn good language for insulting people. They were moments away from a punch-up when one of the Aussies dragged Garth away, thrust a fresh beer bottle into his hand, and told him that he should take a bit more acid. 149