Sunshine On Leith Script

SUNSHINE ON LEITH
A MUSICAL
by
Stephen Greenhorn
Featuring the Songs of

The Proclaimers
For
Dundee Rep Theatre
SECOND PRODUCTION VERSION

AUTUMN 2008
1.
Sunshine on Leith November 2008
A DESERT WAR
A squad of British soldiers on patrol or at a roadblock - DAVY and ALLY are amongst
them. The atmosphere is full of nervous tension. They fidget. Tapping. Whistling.
Eventually this leads into Sky Takes The Soul. Slow and quiet to start.
DAVY
It could be tomorrow, or it could be today
When the sky takes the soul
The earth takes the clay
DAVY + SQUADDIE 1
ALLY has rosary beads as a good luck charm. He tucks them in his shirt.
ALLY
I sometimes wonder why I pray
When my spirit just drives away
SQUADDIE 2
With a faith and a bit of luck
And a half-tonne bomb in the back of a truck
Louder now and at tempo.
ALL

SQUADDIE 3
Feel the towel cause it's wet with sorrow
From the tears we'll shed tomorrow
SQUADDIE 4
Don't bring flowers, take a stance
On some graves you should dance
ALL
It could be tomorrow, it could be today
It could be tomorrow and it could be today

2

Middle eight.
SARGE
Alright you know the drill. I want everyone alert.
Everyone alive. Understand?
ALL
Sarge!
DAVY
If it’s tomorrow, or if it’s today
I don't say it will be, I just say it may
ALLY
When I'm on my knees to the gates I'll stumble
And plead my case in a style that’s humble.
DAVY
Vehicle approaching!
ALL
(Some sing individual verse sections. Some the chorus.)
It could be tomorrow, could be today

DAVY signals to an oncoming vehicle to stop.
ALL
SARGE realises the approaching vehicle is not going to stop.
SARGE
He’s not stopping!
They raise their rifles.
ALL
The –
3
The SARGE fires, then everyone else and the song is cut off in a hail of gunfire.
2. WAVERLEY STATION
DAVY and ALLY back in Edinburgh. Emerging from Waverley Station. They are now
in civilian clothes with their gear in rucksacks / holdalls. They stop and look around.
DAVY
Home.
ALLY
Aye. And for good this time. I’ve had enough of flies and
sand and folk trying tae kill me.
DAVY
No more days out in Portobello then?
DAVY is looking around.
DAVY
Feels weird. Back here. After all that. Feel’s different.
ALLY
Looks just the same to me.
DAVY
Mibbe it’s us.
ALLY
Mibbe it’s you. Look. Castle’s still there. The big clock’s
still five minutes fast. Waverley Steps still smell of pish!
DAVY
What’re we gonnae do now?
ALLY
A wee stroll down Leith Walk. Blow all those army
cobwebs away. Get ye in the right mood for civilian life.
DAVY
I meant what are we gonnae do?
ALLY
Well, I know what I’m gonnae do … but I think I better
spare you the details.
DAVY
4
How?
ALLY
Cause it involves your sister!
2a. WAVERLEY STATION
DAVY tries to swipe ALLY who steps into the road. A bus steams past blaring its
horn. ALLY pulls back to avoid being run over. Intro to I’m on my Way kicks in. They
start to walk.
ALLY
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today
I'm on my way to what I want from this world

And years from now I'll make it to the next world
And everything that I receive up yonder
Is what she gave to me the day I wandered
They head down Leith Walk passing/accumulating various other characters as the song
progresses.
ALLY
The Bronx café’s gone but Vinyl Villains is still there.
DAVY
And the Elm Bar. And Pearce’s on the corner.
ALLY
Didn’t you get barred fae there after a game once?
DAVY
Wasnae ma fault. The barman was a jambo.
ALLY laughs. DAVY is beginning to cheer up.
ALLY
We took a right, We took a right turning yesterday.
DAVY
We took a right, We took a right turning yesterday
We took the road that brought us to our home town

We took the train to streets that we could walk down
ALLY
I’ll walk the streets to find the one I've looked for
5
I’ll climb the stairs that lead me to her front door
They are passing an Al Jolson busker.
ALLY + DAVY
And now that I don't want for anything
I'd have Al Jolson sing …
AL JOLSON
"I'm sitting on top of the world"
ALLY
Borlands! Classic. What other shop specialises in TV
repairs and darts accessories, eh?
DAVY
Liz might be working, you know.
ALLY
I’ll go to the hospital then. Surprise her. Catch her in her
uniform!
DAVY
Yeah, but she can’t just drop everything, can she.
ALLY
I don’t need her to drop everything.
DAVY
Hey!
ALLY
I'll do my best, I'll do my best to do the best I can
I'll do my best, I'll do my best to do the best I can
To keep my feet from jumping from the ground dear

To keep my heart from jumping through my mouth dear
DAVY
To keep the past, the past and not the present
To try and learn when you get taught a lesson
Everyone in the street scene joins the chorus.
ALL
I'd have Al Jolson sing "I'm sitting on top of the world".
DAVY
6
Robbie’s! I bought ma first condom in there.
ALLY
Aye. It’s probably still in yer wallet.
DAVY
The Boundary Bar’s gone!
ALLY
Still the dividing line though. Arrivederci Edinburgh!
DAVY
Good Morning Sunny Leith!
ALLY+DAVY+ALL
We’re on our way from misery to happiness today
We’re on our way to what we want from this world

And years from now we’ll make it to the next world
And everything that we receive up yonder
Is what she gave to us the day we wandered

I'd have Al Jolson sing …
"I'm sitting on top of the world"

The chorus of street characters take over the song for the fade out.
CHORUS
They’re on their way.
DAVY
This walking fair builds up a thirst, eh.
CHORUS
ALLY
Aye. Dehydration’s a killer.
DAVY nods agreement. They both have the same idea.
CHORUS
7
ALLY+DAVY
Central Bar!
CHORUS
3. THE FAMILY
RAB is reading the paper – enjoying a moment of calm. This is rudely interupted when
LIZ and JEAN enter. LIZ getting ready to go to work. JEAN home with bags of
shopping.
LIZ
Dad, have you seen my belt anywhere?
RAB
You did the shopping?
JEAN
Nipped intae Scotmid on the way home.
LIZ
Dad? My belt?
RAB
I havenae seen it.
LIZ
You didnae even look.
RAB
I was gonnae dae that the morra.
JEAN
Well now you’ve got a day off, haven’t ye.
RAB
A day off fae what, exactly?
LIZ
Yer sitting on it! You said ye hadnae seen it!
RAB
Well, I’ve no got eyes in ma arse, have I?
LIZ
You’ve got some cheek though, eh.
8
JEAN
Hey. Don’t speak tae yer father like that.
RAB
You alright?
JEAN
Ma neck’s killing me. Council had a reception in the big
dining room. We got drafted in tae help out. They were
Japanese and wid bow tae ye all the time and ye had to
bow back. Honest to god. You’d go through wi a tray a
nibbles and come back wi whiplash.
LIZ
Want to watch that. You’ll end up on the sick like him.
RAB
Stupid bloody boat.
JEAN
It’s no a bloody boat. It’s the bloody Britannia.
RAB
You’d think it would’ve seen enough bowing and
scraping.
JEAN
Here we go. Red Rab strikes again.
RAB
How much taxpayers money’s been wasted on that thing?
Eh? How many hospitals could they’ve built instead?
Eh? Eh?
JEAN
Ach. Calm down. Or they’ll be starting the revolution
without ye.
LIZ
Here, mum, lend us twenty quid, will ye? Till I get paid.
JEAN sighs but fishes in her purse for the money.
RAB
What? How can you be skint again?
JEAN hands LIZ the money.
LIZ
Cause I’m a nurse, no a brain surgeon.
9
RAB snatches it back.
RAB
Well, we’re yer mum and dad, no Bradford and Bingley!
JEAN takes it from RAB.
JEAN
Watch it you. Yer gonnae burst something.
RAB takes it back.

RAB
Aye, her bloody bubble!
LIZ grabs it back off RAB.
LIZ
I’ll pay it back. Dinnae be so tight.
RAB
Tight! Who are you calling tight!
RAB tries to grab the money back. LIZ resists. They struggle.
LIZ
Mum. Tell him.
RAB
Jean. Speak tae her.
JEAN
For crying out loud.
DAVY and ALLY enter. LIZ spots them first.
LIZ
Oh my god.
JEAN
Davy!
JEAN rushes to hug DAVY.
LIZ
Ally!
ALLY rushes to LIZ and kisses her. RAB holds back a little.
JEAN
10
But you’re not supposed to be here till tomorrow?
DAVY
Well, if ye want me to go away again …
JEAN
Dinnae be daft. Look at ye. Yer a sight for sore eyes. Eh,
Rab. Rab?
RAB
Aye. Oh aye. It’s good that yer back, son.
ALLY looks at LIZ – realises she’s got her coat on.
ALLY
You going out?
LIZ
Work. Sorry. God. Mibbe I should phone in sick?
RAB
You will not. You can catch up wi his nibs after. Plenty
of time for all that.
ALLY
Your da’s right. We’ve plenty time. C’mon. I’ll walk you
to the bus.
JEAN goes to ALLY. LIZ to DAVY.
JEAN
See ye later, Ally son. Welcome home.
LIZ
Good to have ye back, Davy.
LIZ and ALLY head off. JEAN, RAB and DAVY are left alone. JEAN remembers
something.
JEAN
But I’ve not got anything ready. And I was gonnae make
ye soup. The way ye like it. And steak pie. And I laid out
clean sheets. I better get them on.
DAVY
It’s alright, ma. Dinnae panic.
JEAN
Naw. I want it nice for ye. It’ll not take a minute. Wait
there.
11
JEAN exits.
4. BUS STOP
ALLY and LIZ on their way to the bus stop.
LIZ
Can’t believe I’ve got to go to work. I’ll see you after
though. You’re staying at your brothers, eh?
ALLY
Till I get myself sorted out. Get a plan of action.
LIZ
‘Plan of action?’ Loving that army talk!
ALLY
No more army. I’m all yours now.
LIZ
So what are we gonnae do to celebrate? We could go out.
There’s some great new bars in town?
ALLY
I was thinking quiet night in. Just the two of us.
LIZ is a bit disappointed but hides it.
LIZ
Sure. Whatever you want.
She kisses him.
LIZ
Can’t believe you’re back. You look good. Gonnae let
your hair grow again?
ALLY
Don’t know. Mibbe. D’you think I should?
LIZ
Nothing stopping you. Do what you like now! Anything
you want! Anything at all. How exciting is that? The
world’s yer oyster!
ALLY
Ach. Ah don’t like oysters. They gie me the boak.
He kisses her again.

LIZ
12
That’s ma bus. Gotta go. See you later.
She pulls away and is gone. ALLY looks after her for a moment then turns and walks
back the way he came. He exits.
5. FATHER AND SON

A silence between DAVY and RAB.
RAB
She’s been worried about ye. The stuff ye see on telly. It
looks hellish.
DAVY
It is.
RAB
You’re well out of it.
DAVY
Aye.
RAB
Should never have been there in the first place.
DAVY
It’s the army. You go where you’re told. You don’t get to
choose.
RAB
Ye get tae choose whether to join or not.
DAVY
Ach. I didn’t know all this’d kick off, did I. Anyway,
when you’re there, it’s not about politics. It’s about the
guys next to you. About sticking together. It’s solidarity,
dad. You’re a union man, you must remember that?
RAB is silent. DAVY picks up his bag and heads off.
RAB
Aye, I remember that. A long time ago.
6. HOSPITAL
YVONNE is at the nurses’ lockers – getting ready to go on duty. LIZ arrives breathless.
Other NURSES around too.
LIZ
Hi. Yvonne. Sorry.
13
YVONNE
Miss your bus?
LIZ
Davy and Ally turned up out the blue.
YVONNE
I thought that was tomorrow?
LIZ
They got away early.
YVONNE
So your boyfriend’s home after six months in the desert
and you come in to work? That’s dedication for you!
LIZ
Naw. That’s ma Dad for you.
LIZ checks the days notices on the notice board.
LIZ
What’s this?
YVONNE
A collection. Emma fae Radiology. It’s her last week.
LIZ
Oh aye. She’s off tae Venezuela or something, isn’t she.
YVONNE
Vancouver.
LIZ
Big fancy clinic apparently.
YVONNE
Big fancy private clinic. You know what they’re like.
Credit card swipe built in to the x-ray machine, probably.
LIZ
Don’t think we can talk. Look at this place. The phones.
The canteen. The car park. The cleaning. All private now.
We don’t even own the building. Everything’s contracted
out and hired in.
YVONNE
Still think it’s different. What she’s doing.
14
LIZ
Mibbe she was just sick of being skint all the time.
YVONNE
Well, nobody’s here to get rich. It’s not that kind of job.
LIZ
My dad says it’s no a job, it’s a ‘vocation’. A ‘calling’, he
says. Like being a nun.
YVONNE
State of my social life, I might as well be a bloody nun.
LIZ
Well, listen, I think we’re due a night out. Fancy it?
YVONNE
Ally’s back. You don’t need me playing gooseberry.
LIZ
He can bring someone along for you. Make it a foursome.
YVONNE
No chance.
LIZ
I know just the guy.
YVONNE
Not after the last time.
LIZ
Aw come on. That was an honest mistake.
YVONNE
Nope.
LIZ
Yvonne? Yvonne!
YVONNE exits. LIZ pursues her.
LIZ
When he said he was a scientologist I thought he meant
he worked in a laboratory!
7. MORNINGSIDE
Morningside Road. ALLY and DAVY enter.
15
ALLY
Jesus, that sixteen bus takes forever.
DAVY
Why come all the way to Morningside for a drink?
ALLY
I told ye. I’m meeting Liz. She’s in the Canny Man’s.
Her and her pal.
DAVY
Her pal?
ALLY
Eh. Aye. Fae work. Stays near the Astley Ainslie. This is
her local.
DAVY
So this is a set up! You and Liz are trying to pair me off
wi some sad case old bird fae the local nurses home!
ALLY
Naw! Course not. It’s nothing like that!
DAVY
Honest?
ALLY
Well. …. It is a bit like that …
DAVY
For God’s sake!
ALLY
Aw lighten up. It’s just a wee drink. If ye dinnae like her
ye can bugger off.
DAVY
What do you know about her?
ALLY
She’s a nurse. Her name’s Yvonne. And she’s English.
DAVY
Christ.
ALLY and DAVY exit into the pub.
16
8. THE CANNY MAN’S
YVONNE and LIZ enter.
YVONNE
If I don’t like him I’m not staying.
LIZ
Relax. If it’s not happening, head for the bogs and we can
plan yer escape.
YVONNE
He’s not going to go on about the army, is he? His
favourite book’s probably Bravo-Two-Zero. Does he
even have a favourite book? Does he have a book? Can
he read?!
LIZ
Of course he can bloody read! Calm down!
Beat.
YVONNE
Sorry. It’s been one of those days. Mister McNeil finally
passed away. I shouldn’t let it get to me but … well.
LIZ
I know. I liked him. He was a nice old guy.
YVONNE
I sat with him. Nothing else I could do. He’d’ve been all
on his own otherwise. No way to go, is it.
LIZ
No family?
YVONNE
A son. In London. Couldn’t get here in time.
LIZ
These things happen, Yvonne. But you know what he’d
say - if he could see you … make the most of it, while
ye can.
YVONNE nods.
YVONNE
I suppose so. Come on then. Let’s get this over with.
YVONNE and LIZ take their seats.

17
DAVY and ALLY seated at a table with YVONNE and LIZ. Other DRINKERS at
various other tables. Intro to Over and Done With. A weary BARMAN addresses the
audience directly.
BARMAN
Ladies and Gentlemen, our subject tonight - the classic
pattern of conversation in the traditional Scottish drinking
session. It follows a simple structure. An individual
stands out and makes a passionate plea for attention, then
the group offer support and draw them back into the
crowd. These pleas can form a common progression
through three distinct stages. Observe.
Stage One. I give you, Nostalgia and Memories of
Childhood!
LIZ
This is the story of our first teacher
Shetland made her jumpers
And the devil made her features
Threw up her hands when our mums said our names
Embroidered all her stories with slanderous claims
The others join the chorus.
LIZ+YVONNE+ALLY+DAVY
It's over and done with. It's over and done with.
It's over and done with. It's over. It’s over.
It's over and done with. Let me hear. Let me hear.
BARMAN
Having warmed up nicely, we now hurry along into the
welcoming arms of Stage Two. Everyone’s favourite,
Embarrassing Sexual Anecdotes!
ALLY
This is the story of losing my virginity
I held my breath and the bed held a trinity
People I'm making no claims to no mystery
But sometimes it’s felt like my sex life’s all history
Laughter. He kisses a blushing LIZ.
LIZ+YVONNE+ALLY+DAVY
It's over and done with. It's over. It’s over.
It's over and done with. Yeah. Yeah.
18
BARMAN
I'm not saying these events don't
Touch our lives in any way
But, ah, they didn't make the impression
That some people say
BARMAN
The final stage. The trump card or the joker in the pack –
it’s entirely up to you. Quiet please for Stage Three. The
Unexpected Display of Genuine Emotion.
YVONNE
This is the story of watching a man dying
The subject’s unpopular but I don't feel like lying
When I think of it now I acted like a sinner
I just washed my hands and I went for my dinner.
The music stops.
DAVY
You washed your hands and you walked away?
YVONNE nods. DAVY looks YVONNE in the eye. Empathy.
DAVY
(quietly and firmly)
It's over and done with. It’s over and done with.
YVONNE smiles, grateful for the understanding.
LIZ+ALLY+DAVY
Building back to a volume.
ALL
It's over and done with. It’s over. It’s over.
It's over and done with. Yeah. Yeah.
IT's over, IT’s over, It’s over and done with.

IT's over, IT’s over, It’s over and done with.
It's over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over.

It's over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over.
It’s over. Ah. Oh. Ah. Oh – woh.
The BARMAN shakes his head, seen it all before. He rings a bell loudly.
BARMAN
19
Time gentlemen please!
1. BLACKFORD HILL
DAVY has taken YVONNE to the top of Blackford Hill. The whole city is spread out
before them.
YVONNE
When I said you could walk me home I didn’t realise I’d
need hiking boots!
DAVY
Come on. It’s easy.
YVONNE
For you maybe!
DAVY
Still worth it though. Blackford Hill. Brilliant, isn’t it!
DAVY opens his arms, presenting the city to her. YVONNE smiles.
YVONNE
It’s beautiful.
DAVY
I used to come up here a lot. It works every time.
YVONNE
Every time? How many girls is that exactly?
DAVY
No. I mean, it clears your head. The walk. The wind in
your face. The view.
YVONNE
You can see the whole city.
DAVY
And over the river to Fife. And along the coast to North
Berwick. Calton Hill’s okay but you can’t see as far.
Arthur’s Seat’s higher but it’s a bit of a climb. There’s
Corstorphine too. Or Craiglockhart. But this is the best.
YVONNE
You really like this place, don’t you.
DAVY
20
Love it. Wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
YVONNE
But you joined the army. If you loved it, why leave?
DAVY
Didn’t seem to be much here at the time. Not unless you
worked for a bank and drove a BMW. I suppose I wanted
a bit of excitement. To see other things. Other places.
And I did. Saw some amazing places.
YVONNE
But you came back.
DAVY
Always knew I would. This was always home.
YVONNE
A real Edinburgh boy, then?
DAVY
Leith. It’s different.
YVONNE
Sorry. Forgot. A fine but important distinction.
DAVY
So what about you? From England, eh?
YVONNE
I suppose the accent’s a bit of a giveaway.
DAVY
No really. You could just be fae Morningside.
YVONNE laughs.
YVONNE
Plymouth.
DAVY
So how d’you end up here?
YVONNE
Came up as a student. Decided to stay.
DAVY
Fell in love wi the place, eh?
YVONNE
21
Well … fell in love.
YVONNE notes his embarrassment and smiles.
YVONNE
You blushing?
DAVY
No.
YVONNE
That word seems to have a strange effect on Scottish
men.
DAVY
Actually, if you remember, I used it myself about a
minute ago - wi no visible side effects.
YVONNE
You’re right. I apologise for casting aspersions.
DAVY
Honestly, I don’t know what’s worse, yer sexism, yer
racism or yer terrible stereotyping!
YVONNE
Oh. Right. This coming from a man who thought he was
meeting a sad-case old English bird from the nurses
home.
DAVY realises he’s been caught out.
DAVY
Ye mean Ally told you …
She nods.
DAVY
I’ll kill him. I swear … Sorry.
YVONNE
Don’t be daft.
DAVY
I was just … nervous. Y’know.
YVONNE
I was the same. But maybe it’s better to go in to these
things fearing the worst – more chance of being …
pleasantly surprised.
22
DAVY takes this as the compliment it is.
DAVY
So was yer bloke Scottish? The one you fell for?
YVONNE
Very. Ask him how he felt about us - couldn’t string two
words together. Drive through Glen Coe – suddenly he’s
singing folk songs and crying like a girl.
DAVY
He the one that ruined our reputation for ye, then.
YVONNE
There were others. Enough to detect a pattern. I’m
wondering if there’s maybe something in the water up
here. Or the beer.
DAVY
Nah. Not the beer. Starts way before ye reach drinking
age.
YVONNE
Really?
DAVY
Oh aye. I reckon it must happen somewhere between
puberty and the pub.
YVONNE laughs. DAVY starts into Misty Blue.
DAVY
When the inspiration is above our station
Thoughts are melancholy and we let them pass
We tend to view this nation through the condensation
On a dirty glass
When the singer solemn was a bonnie laddie

When he brushed his hair with a watered comb
Then he could have dandered
and he could have shown ye
Seven hills like Rome
YVONNE
If misty eyes can witness love and affection,
love and affection
Why does the heart still resist?
What the hell is wrong with you?
23
DAVY
I've got eyes of misty blue
All the things I want to do
Are all I ever wanted to
As the laddie grew and he looked around him

At the thugs and rapists in their stolen suits
Louder beat the rhythm of his bloody heart
Telling him to shoot
YVONNE
Thoughtless competition like a home-made prison
Makes us fix our vision on a certain fate
What's the use in winning all the worlds creation
If you won't create.
YVONNE+DAVY
If misty eyes can witness love and affection,
love and affection
Why does the heart still resist
DAVY
What the hell is wrong with you?
YVONNE
I've got eyes of misty blue
YVONNE+DAVY
All the things I want to do
Are all I ever wanted to
They Kiss
8. GOING TO WORK
RAB is making breakfast. He is wearing a comic apron and is listening to music on the
radio. DAVY arrives to grab some food.
RAB
What are ye having then?
DAVY
You’re alright, dad. I’m not that hungry. I’ll just grab a
cup of tea.
RAB
24
Ye cannae do a day’s work on an empty stomach.

Especially not your first day. New job. You want to be all
fuelled up and raring tae go!
DAVY
It’s a call centre, dad, no a building site.
RAB
Listen. It’s a job. Right. Eat something!
RAB plonks a plate in front of DAVY who makes an effort to eat a little.
RAB
Yer mum and yer sister are away already.
DAVY
I know. Heard Liz moaning on her way out. She hates an
early start.
RAB
I used tae like the early shift in the summer. The birds
singing. All the streets quiet. It’s funny the things ye
miss, eh. Like sinking intae the armchair after a hard day.
And sleeping. God aye. Sleeping like ye’ve actually
earned it.
DAVY
Are you not sleeping? That why you’re always up so
early? Have ye said anything to the doctor?
RAB
I’m up early cause someone’s got to make sure you lot
get out the door. What’ll ye be doing the day?
DAVY
Training. Show us how to use the computers and the
phones, I suppose. Nothing too exciting.
RAB
Dinnae knock it.
DAVY
It’ll do for now.
RAB
25
Count yersel lucky. Look at me. When a man cannae

work, what’s he got left? I’ll tell ye. A pair of marigolds
and Murder She Bloody Wrote.
DAVY laughs, stands up.
DAVY
I better get going. Said I’d go round for Ally on the way.
He heads out.
RAB
But ye’ve no finished this.
DAVY
Sorry, dad. Gotta go. See you later.
He exits. RAB is left alone.
9. THE LETTER
RAB goes off to fetch the mail and comes back to sit at the kitchen table and look
through it.
RAB
Bill. Bill. Bumph. Bank.
He stops. There is a letter. Handwritten, addressed to him. He never gets letters. He

opens it. There is a photograph and a note. He looks at the photo. As he does, on
another part of the stage, MARGARET appears – a pretty, young woman in her
twenties. RAB looks at her then begins to read the note. As he does MARGARET
speaks.
MARGARET
“Robert. I’m sorry to contact you like this after all these
years. I couldn’t think of any other way. I’m writing from
hospital. The doctors have told me there’s nothing more
they can do.”
RAB looks over at MARGARET, shocked. MARGARET smiles at him shrugs.
MARGARET
“I wanted to tell you, you were always in my heart. The
memory of our last night has stayed with me. I’ve kept
this photograph since then but now pass it on for you to
remember me by – if you choose to. I hope you found the
happiness you deserved. Yours always. Margaret.”
26
RAB is shocked. As he absorbs the information and remembers, YOUNG RAB – also
in his early twenties – enters with two ice cream cones. He is wearing a Scotland
football shirt – it is 1979. He gives one cone to MARGARET.
YOUNG RAB
You’ve left him? Walked out? Just like that?
MARGARET
I couldn’t take it any more. He was nothing but a bully.
YOUNG RAB
He was yer husband.
MARGARET
So? What else could I do? He hit me. I couldn’t stay.
YOUNG RAB
Does he know where you are?
MARGARET
I bloody hope not!
YOUNG RAB looks around – a bit nervous.
MARGARET
No. He doesn’t know where I am. Or where I’m going.
YOUNG RAB
Where are you going?
MARGARET
Away. Far away. London to start with. On the train
tomorrow. After that … who knows. I’m not coming
back, Robert. I’m never coming back.
YOUNG RAB
So what’s this? Ye wanted to say goodbye?
MARGARET
No. I wanted to ask you to come with me.
YOUNG RAB
What?
MARGARET
Just think about it for a minute …
YOUNG RAB
I can’t. You know I can’t.
27
MARGARET
We were happy before. We could both start again.
Somewhere else. Somewhere better. Somewhere we
could do something.
YOUNG RAB
You dumped me, Maggie. You took up wi someone else.
Christ, you married him!
MARGARET
I made a mistake. I’m sorry. I should never have left you.
YOUNG RAB
But I’m wi Jean now.
MARGARET
This isn’t about, Jean. It’s about us.
YOUNG RAB
Not about her?! She’s my wife! She’s having my baby.
MARGARET
But, don’t you see? We have a second chance. Right
now. We can take it. If you want to. You just have to
want to.
YOUNG RAB
No.
MARGARET
No, you don’t want to ... or no, you can’t?
YOUNG RAB
What difference does it make?
MARGARET realises she’s not going to persuade him.
MARGARET
Sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have expected anything
else. Not now. Not with Jean.
YOUNG RAB
I’d never do anything to hurt her.
MARGARET
Does she know you’re here?
RAB shakes his head – guilty.
YOUNG RAB
28
She’s away at her sister’s.
MARGARET sees a glimmer of hope.
MARGARET
So this is our secret. Our last secret. And if she doesn’t
know you’re here, she’d never know if you were to stay
with me tonight. Just tonight. One last time.
YOUNG RAB realises what she’s proposing.
MARGARET
I’m leaving tomorrow. It’d be a memory. That’s all. A
snapshot. Let me take that with me. Please. Please.
YOUNG RAB agonises over the decision. RAB watches him – remembering. Into
Heaven Right Now.
RAB + YOUNG RAB

She's everything the married man
should look for in a girl
She's married too but not to you

and that's part of the thrill
She's the one who makes you feel alright

Her alibi's your alibi - it's watertight
RAB
She's old enough to know of love
and know that this is not
YOUNG RAB
But young enough to not be willing
to settle for what she's got
YOUNG RAB + RAB

YOUNG RAB
And if you get caught, you're going to hell
RAB
But it's heaven right now!
Instrumental break.
YOUNG RAB is being won over.

29
MARGARET
RAB + YOUNG RAB

She's everything the married man
should look for in a girl
She's married too but not to you
and that's part of the thrill
YOUNG RAB
RAB
Oh, and you're going to hell
YOUNG RAB + MARGARET

But it’s heaven right now!
YOUNG RAB kisses MARGARET.
RAB watches then looks at the back of the photo.
MARGARET
“Our last night, 11th June 1979”
YOUNG RAB takes MARGARET’s hand and they exit. RAB puts the photo and the
note back in the envelope and tucks it into his wallet.
10. TRAINING
Classroom at the call-centre. ALLY and DAVY are part of a group of TRAINEES
(male and female) being coached by an INSTRUCTOR in the finer points of answering
the phone.
INSTRUCTOR
So, is everyone clear about how to identify the three main
categories of caller?
Mumbles of assent.
INSTRUCTOR
And is everyone clear about what those three categories
are?
ALL
30
Quotes, claims and renewals!
INSTRUCTOR
Right. Good. Now let’s talk a little bit about how we
present ourselves on the phone. Let’s try the first line of
the script, one at a time and see where we are. Let’s start
with … Alistair.
He points at a startled ALLY who consults his notes and wades in.
ALLY
Ehm. “Hello. Yer thru ti Abacus insurance services. This
is .. eh .. Alistair speakin. How can ah help ye.”
INSTRUCTOR
Okay. Well, that’s a starting point. The key here is
clarity. Listen. “Hello. You are through to Abacus
Insurance services. This is Alistair speaking. How can I
help you?” You see?
ALLY
You want me to speak like that?
INSTRUCTOR
Use your own voice.
ALLY
But ma voice doesnae sound like that.
INSTRUCTOR
Keep your natural sound but just …
ALLY
Drop the accent?
INSTRUCTOR
No. No. We want the accent. Callers find a Scottish
accent very trustworthy. Same with Newcastle funnily
enough. They both score very highly.
MOIRA
I can do a Geordie accent if you want. Ma mum’s mad on
Jimmy Nail!
INSTRUCTOR
No. I didn’t mean that you should -
MOIRA
Wha haey man! Ahm gahn doon tha toon.
31
Laughter. Applause. ALLY is annoyed.
INSTRUCTOR
Look. Maybe we should take a break there. Take five
minutes. Practice that first line. I’ll leave you to it for a
bit.
INSTRUCTOR leaves.
ALLY
That was nothing like Jimmy Nail. Mair like Jimmy
Saville.
MOIRA
At least I can do the first line of the script properly.
ALLY
Go on then.
MOIRA
“Hello. You are through to Abacus Insurance services.
This is Moira speaking. How can I help you?”
ALLY
But that wasnae your accent.
MOIRA
Well, duh! Obviously, ahm no gonnae answer the phone
like this, am ah?
KAREN
Forget selling insurance, it’d sound mair like yer
demanding protection money!
CARL
But he says he wants a Scottish accent.
KAREN
Aye but no ours. He wants a good Scottish accent.
DAVY
What’s a good Scottish accent?
KAREN
“Hello. You are through to Abacus Insurance services.
This is Karen speaking. How can I help you?”
DAVY
32
But you’re supposed to use your own voice. That

sounded nothing like you.
KAREN
Course not. D’ye think emdy really wants tae hire folk
that sound like us?
DAVY
British army never had a problem.
MOIRA
Naw? And ah suppose yer officers sounded just the same
as you, did they?
Ally is caught out.
ALLY
Ach. What a load a pish. Ahm no changing the way ah
speak.
KAREN
Well ye better. Otherwise we’ll be stuck here all day.
ALLY
Couldnae care less.
KAREN
It’s no hard.
ALLY
No daen it.
MOIRA
Just copy somebody Scottish aff the telly.
KAREN
Except no River City.
MOIRA
Or Taggart.
KAREN
Aye. Nay Scottish telly.
MOIRA
Ah meant real telly.
ALLY
Forget it.
33
Intro to Throw the R Away starts. KAREN and MOIRA pressure ALLY.
KAREN
Come on. I do Lorraine Kelly.
MOIRA
And I’m more Carol Smillie.
ALLY
For Gods sake!
KAREN
What’s up wi him?
DAVY
He’s been so sad
Since you said his accent was bad
KAREN
He's worn a frown
This Caledonian clown
GIRLS
You’re just going to have to learn to hesitate
To make sure your words
On those Saxon ears don't grate
ALLY
But I wouldn't know a single word to say
If I flattened all the vowels
And I threw the 'R' away
CARL
Some days I stand
On their green and pleasant land
GIRLS
How dare you show face
When your diction is such a disgrace
You’re just going to have to learn to hesitate

To make sure your words
On those Saxon ears don't grate
BOYS
34
BOYS
They say that if we want to get ahead
The language we use should be left for dead
It doesn't please the ear
BOYS
That’s a pity. That’s a pity.
Although they tell it like a leg pull
It seems they’re still full of John Bull
ALLY
They just refuse to hear.
GIRLS
Oh what can I do
To be understood by you
ALLY
Perhaps for some money, I could talk like a bee dripping
honey.
BOYS
We’re just going to have to learn to hesitate
To make sure our words
On those Saxon ears don’t grate.
GIRLS
BOYS
They say that if we want to get ahead
The language we use should be left for dead
GIRLS
It doesn’t please the ear.
BOYS
And though they tell it like a leg pull
It seems they’re still full of John Bull
GIRLS
You just refuse to hear.
35
ALL
(received pronunciation / choir-like)
We're just going to have to learn to hesitate
And make sure our words
On your Saxon ears don't grate
But we wouldn't know a single word to say
If we flattened all the vowels
And we threw the 'R' away
Flattened all the vowels

And we threw the 'R' away
Flattened all the vowels

And we threw the 'R' away-ay-ay!
The INSTRUCTOR enters. They take their seats again. He warily looks at ALLY
again.
INSTRUCTOR
Alright then. Alistair. Shall we try it again?
ALLY looks at KAREN and MOIRA. They are desperate for him to get it right.
INSTRUCTOR
Alistair?
ALLY takes a deep breath and begins – in a Sean Connery voice.
ALLY
“Hello. You’re through to Abacus Insurance services.
This is Alistair speaking. How can I help you?”
The others cheer.
11. HOME
RAB is at the table scribbling on something. LIZ enters. She is getting ready to go out.
LIZ
What ye doing?
RAB
Invite list for this bloody anniversary party.
LIZ
Don’t be so grumpy. Thirty years is a long time.
RAB
Aye. Get less than that for murder, these days.
36
LIZ
It’s a wonder she’s put up wi ye this long.
RAB
Put up wi me!? Listen, I was a catch.
LIZ
Well, yer lucky she didnae throw ye back.
RAB
Dinnae be so cheeky. Nae danger o that. No after I
worked the old Henshaw magic on her.
LIZ
What, was it all fireworks and shooting stars, then?
RAB
Well, no exactly. Met her in the queue at the chippy. She
ended up scoffing half ma sausage supper.
LIZ
Aw. Love at first bite.
RAB
Listen, take the mick all ye like but I knew then, she was
the one for me.
LIZ
Ye knew? How?
RAB
I could just tell. It worked. It felt right.
LIZ
And that was it? For the rest of yer life? Just like that?
RAB
Aye.
LIZ
But how could ye be so sure? There might’ve been
someone else out there for ye. For both of you.
RAB
Look, any time ye choose one thing ye write aff a
hundred other possibilities. But it disnae mean they’re
any better.
LIZ
No regrets then?
37
RAB
There’s always regrets, hen. Pick them up like wrinkles
as ye get older. But ye cannae torture yersel. You’ve got
tae decide as best ye can and get on wi it.
LIZ
God. Ye make it sound so … sensible! Ye must’ve had
dreams? Things you wanted from life?
RAB
Aye. I wanted a family. I wanted a decent job. And I
wanted Pat Stanton to win us the league.
LIZ
What? Is that all?
JEAN enters.
RAB
Is that all?! Whit d’ye mean is that all? Christ, it’s been
thirty years and I’m still only on two outa three!
JEAN
What’re you getting all aerated about? Ye know ye’ve tae
watch yer blood pressure.
RAB
Ah know. Ah know. Stop fussing.
JEAN kisses RAB. LIZ gets up to go.
JEAN
Going out?
LIZ
To the pictures. Wi Ally.
RAB
Her brother’s out gallivanting the night too.
JEAN
So it’s getting serious then, wi this Yvonne?
LIZ
Ye’d better ask him.
JEAN
He told me she was lovely.
38
RAB
He told me she was English.
JEAN
She can still be lovely!
RAB
I never said she couldnae!
LIZ
They seem happy. She’s not had much luck wi men. Ah
told him not to screw it up.
She exits.
JEAN drapes herself round RAB’s neck.
JEAN
Right Braveheart, get yourself together. You can take me
out for a drink. No reason why the young folk should
have all the fun.
RAB
But it’s freezing out there.
JEAN
Well, we’ve got the house to ourselves. We could always
stay in and have a cuddle. Desperate Housewives is on.
RAB
I’ll get ma coat.
12. DATES
LIZ is with ALLY walking home from the pictures. DAVY is with YVONNE walking
home from a restaurant. They share the stage but are in separate worlds.
ALLY
So what d’you think of the film?
LIZ
It was alright.
ALLY
You didnae like it, did you.
LIZ
No. I did. I enjoyed it. Honest.
39
ALLY
You seem awful quiet.
LIZ
Sorry Ally. I’m just … I dunno. I’ve been up here all day
wi stuff.
ALLY
What stuff?
LIZ
Everything. Mum and dad’s anniversary thing just got to
me. Thirty years. It’s scary. Makes ma head spin a wee
bit. D’you know what I mean?
ALLY
Aye. Aye, I know what ye mean.
To DAVY and YVONNE.
YVONNE
That restaurant was really nice. Is it new?
DAVY
New to me. But every time I come down The Shore now
there’s another place opened up or another building
appeared.
YVONNE
It’s years since I’ve been down here, what a difference.
DAVY
Tell me about it. When I was wee it was old warehouses,
pubs and the Seamen’s Mission. Now it’s loft apartments,
bistros and the Malmaison!
YVONNE
Things change, I suppose. Bet you’re very different to the
wee boy who use to run about down here.
DAVY
Well, ma arse isn’t hinging oot ma trousers for a start.
YVONNE
Well, you never know, the night’s still young!
40
DAVY mocks shock. YVONNE laughs.
To ALLY and LIZ.
ALLY
I’ve been thinking about the same kind of stuff myself .
LIZ
What kinda stuff?
ALLY
About the future and everything.
LIZ
Really?
ALLY
Well, coming out the army and that, it’s the end of one
thing but the beginning of something else, hopefully.
There’s things I want to do, Liz. The call-centre’s just
temporary. I’m thinking long term.
LIZ
Long term? How long’s that?
ALLY
Well, like you said, yer mum and dad. Thirty years. It
makes ye think.
LIZ
Aye, then it gies ye a nose bleed! You mean you can
really see yourself that far ahead?
ALLY nods.
LIZ
Doing what though? What d’ you see?
ALLY
The usual stuff. Settle down. Work hard. Bring up a
family. In thirty years, I want to look back and say that
I’ve done all that.
LIZ
That’s exactly what ma dad said.
ALLY
Well, I suppose it’s what everybody wants, really, isn’t it.
LIZ is thoughtful.
41
To DAVY and YVONNE.
YVONNE
When Liz first told me about you, I thought you might be
some testosterone-fuelled tough guy. Like the ones who
wash up in A and E every weekend. All blood and booze
and broken noses.
DAVY
What d’you mean? You saying I’m not tough?
YVONNE
I mean, I feel safe with you. It’s a compliment.
DAVY
I know the guys you mean. We’re not all like that.
YVONNE
I know. It’s just, I’ve been unlucky before.
DAVY
Well, maybe your luck’s changed, sweetheart!
YVONNE
What. You saying you’re kinda like a rabbit’s foot?
DAVY
Naw. Kinda like a rabbit.
YVONNE laughs. They snog.
To ALLY and LIZ – they are at a bus stop.
ALLY
So what do you think?
LIZ
About what?
ALLY
The long-term. What we were talking about?
LIZ
I suppose, you’re right. It is what everybody wants.
ALLY
What about you? Do you want that kind of thing?
42
LIZ
What? Security? Contentment? Of course, I want that
kind of thing. Of course, I want not to feel restless or
frightened about the future. Not to be worrying about
wasting my life. About missing my big chance. Who
wouldn’t want that?
To DAVY and YVONNE.
YVONNE
I should go really. Last bus soon.
DAVY
Stay. Get a taxi.
YVONNE
I can’t afford taxis.
DAVY
Why don’t we split it?
She grins.
YVONNE
Oh. Now who’s feeling lucky?
DAVY
Just want to see you home safe.
YVONNE
It’s a nice idea but I’m up at six tomorrow!
DAVY
Suits me. Army time.
She isn’t sure.
DAVY
I’ll let myself out in the morning. I know where
everything is.
YVONNE
Yes, you do, don’t you.
YVONNE admires his persistance.
To LIZ and ALLY.

43
LIZ
I just want to be happy, Ally. But I can’t get my head
round all this long-term stuff. I want it now. Y’know.
D’you think that’s really selfish?
ALLY
Of course not. You deserve that.
LIZ kisses him.
LIZ
You don’t have to wait, you know.
ALLY
I know.
He doesn’t move. She smiles.
ALLY and DAVY go into Make My Heart Fly.
DAVY
Please don't go rushing by
Stay and make my heart fly
ALLY + DAVY
ALLY
'Cos I never seem to know the time
When you're with me
You can tell it to the birds
I'll tell the bees
ALLY + DAVY
DAVY
I can't do any more
To get inside your door
I can't do any more
Please let me inside your door.
ALLY + DAVY
'Cos I never seem to know the time
When you're with me
44
YVONNE + LIZ
You can tell it to the birds
ALLY + DAVY
I'll tell the bees

LIZ’s bus arrives.
LIZ
Right that’s me.
She kisses him and heads off to board – calling back.
LIZ
Give me a ring!
ALLY laughs/nods. She is gone.
DAVY is still trying to charm YVONNE.
DAVY
If we go now, you’d still get five hours sleep.
YVONNE checks her watch.
YVONNE
You mean six.
DAVY
Five and a half. Final offer.
YVONNE smiles. DAVY gives up, turns as if to go.

YVONNE stops him – taking his hand.
ALLY is alone – full of hope.
ALLY + YVONNE
Stay and make my heart fly!
ALLY exits. YVONNE leads DAVY off.
13. PERSEVERE
The Persevere Bar – Easter Road. A group of FANS are drinking and watching a match
on the pub TV – Aberdeen v Hibs. DAVY is amongst them with two pals – INNES and
ANDY. The game is boring. ALLY enters and worms his way through the crowd to
find DAVY.
45
INNES
Ally, man, where’ve you been?
DAVY
You’ve not missed much. Nil-nil. Neither keepers had a
save to make yet.
ANDY
Just as well, given what ours is like.
ALLY
Right. Good.
ALLY nods. He is excited.
DAVY
What’s up wi you? Where were you?
ALLY
In town. I had to pick something up.
DAVY
What’s so important that you miss the game?
ALLY
This.
He takes out a little box and shows DAVY. It’s a diamond ring. INNES and ANDY
gaze too.
ANDY
Bloody hell.
INNES
Is that what I think it is?
DAVY
Is that for … ?
ALLY
I’m going to propose to Liz.
A beat.
ALLY
I thought I’d do it at your folks’ anniversary bash. Seems
kind of appropriate. What d’you think?
DAVY
46
Does she know?
ALLY
We’ve talked about it. About the future and that. So
she’ll have an idea. But I want tae surprise her, eh.
DAVY
Well, I think it’s amazing, pal. All the best.
INNES
Good for you, Ally.
Pause.
ANDY
Aye, congratulations.
ALLY is relieved. He puts the ring away.
DAVY
So what are you going to say?
INNES
Are you going down on one knee and all that?
ALLY
I huvnae really thought about it.
DAVY
Well, ye better start. It’s a big moment. You want to get it
right.
ALLY
I suppose I’ll just say something like. ‘You know how I
feel about ye. Dae ye want tae marry me.’
ANDY
Ye canny say that!
ALLY
How not? Keep it simple.
INNES
Aye but there’s a difference between simple and brutal.
DAVY
They’re right. You’ve got to dress it up a wee bit.
ALLY
How?
47
INNES
Work up tae it.
ANDY
Build up a bit of momentum.
ALLY looks blank. DAVY, ANDY and INNES decide to show him how. Into Let’s
Get Married.
DAVY
We've been, going together
Too long to be vague
When there's something to say
INNES
If it's not now, then it's never
So I'll say it straight out
'Cos I have no doubt, no doubt
INNES + DAVY
Let's get married
ANDY
I love you and I want to stay with you
ANDY + INNES
Let's get married
DAVY
Have kids and grow old and grey with you
DAVY + ANDY
Let's get married
INNES
Hold hands, walk in the park
DAVY + INNES + ANDY

Let's get married
Let’s get married
Hey!
ANDY
We know, other people
Who drifted apart
Who broke each others hearts
DAVY
Ye cannae say that!
48
INNES
But we ain't other people
So we'll do things our way
We're gonna be O.K.
DAVY
Just ‘okay’?!
INNES
We're gonna be more than O.K
The other FANS join in. Building.
FANS
Let's get married
DAVY + INNES + ANDY

We're ready for tying the knot
FANS
Let's get married
DAVY + INNES + ANDY

Set the seal on the feelings we've got
FANS
Let's get married
DAVY + INNES + ANDY

We can make each other happy or we can make each
other blue
FANS
Let’s get married
IAIN
Yeah, it's just a piece of paper but it says "I Love You"
(ALL now means everyone except ALLY)
ALL
For the good times
CARL
For the days when we can do no wrong
ALL
For the bad times
49
JACQUI
For the moments when we think we can't go on
ALL
For the family
JUDITH + ANNIE
For the lives of the children that we've planned
ALL
Let's get married
DAVY
C'mon darlin', please take my hand
ALL
Hoh!
ALLY and DAVY start to role-play bride and groom. Others form congregation.
ALL + ALLY
Oh and I'll be the one
Who's by your side
Yeah and I'll be the one
Still taking pride
IAIN
When you're old if they ask you
"How do you define success?"
You'll say, you meet a woman and you fall in love
You ask her and she says "Yes"
You ask her and she says "Y-E-S!!!"
Stop. Then … quietly, building again …
ALL
Let's get married
ALLY
I love and I want to stay with you
ALL
Let's get married
ALLY
Have kids and grow old and grey with you
ALL
Let's get married
50
ALLY
Hold hands when we walk in the park
ALL
Let’s get married
ALLY
All right you can get a cat just as long as it barks!
(BOYS now means all boys except ALLY)
GIRLS
For the good times
BOYS
For the days when we can do no wrong
GIRLS
For the bad times
BOYS
For the moments when we think we can't go on
GIRLS
For the family
BOYS
For the lives of the children that we've planned
ALL
Let's get married
DAVY + ALLY
BOYS + ALLY
ALL + ALLY
A scramble to form up for a wedding picture. Pose. Then a goal snaps the FANS
attention back to the TV and suddenly there is uproar as they celebrate a Hibs goal.
DAVY and/or ALLY are abandoned.
14. SHOPPING 1
51
LIZ and JEAN are on Princes Street – serious shopping.
LIZ
What about that one?
JEAN
Nah. I’m not sure this place is really ‘me’.
LIZ
We could try Harvey Nichols?
JEAN
I think I’m a bit old for that.
LIZ
Jenners then?
JEAN
Christ, I’m no that old.
LIZ
Well, we’re running out of options mum.
JEAN
Ah thought this was one of the great shopping streets of
the world!
LIZ
Well, mibbe when you and dad got married. Not any
more. Lot of folk go through to Glasgow now.
JEAN
Glasgow? That’s a bit adventurous.
LIZ
Hardly. It’s only fifty minutes on the train.
JEAN
That’s one thing in thirty years - the world seems to have
shrunk quite a bit.
LIZ
So were ye never tempted to go see a bit of it?
JEAN
I’ve seen bits of it. Spain. Rome. That place in Turkey.
LIZ
What about China? Australia? South America?
52
JEAN
I just want two weeks at the Trades, no Whicker’s World.
I’ll leave the globe-trotting tae you.
LIZ
Chance’d be a fine thing.
JEAN
Listen, you’re young. You can go anywhere you like.
Nothing stopping you, is there?
LIZ
No. I suppose not.
JEAN
Right. Well, ye can send me a postcard fae Peking when
ye get there. Meantime, let’s head for John Lewis.
LIZ
It’s not even called that anymore.
JEAN
John Lewis?
LIZ
Naw. Beijing. It’s Beijing!
JEAN and LIZ exit.
15. SHOPPING 2
DAVY and YVONNE are also shopping. They are in good spirits.
DAVY
The thing is, everything you’ve tried on so far has looked
great. Any of them would do.
YVONNE
I don’t want something that’ll ‘do’. I want something
that’s exactly right. I’m very particular.
DAVY
That’s one word for it.
YVONNE
You should be flattered.
DAVY
Why? How many men did you try on before me exactly?
53
YVONNE
Too many. But I found what I was looking for eventually.
DAVY
Yeah, but it took you years. And it’s beginning to feel
like that looking for this dress!
YVONNE
I just want to make an effort for your mum and dad.
They’ve been very nice to me. I want them to know I
appreciate it.
DAVY
I’m very nice to you too. Do I get some appreciation?
YVONNE
Of course …
She pulls him close to him. He thinks he’s going to get snogged.
YVONNE
… I’ll get you a new tie for the party. How’s that?
DAVY
Thanks. Just what I need. More shopping. You’re making
me nostalgic for boot camp.
YVONNE
Oh. That reminds me … shoes!
DAVY groans. YVONNE grins. They exit.
16. THE PARTY

The Dockers Club function room. Done up for a party. Various guests already there.
RAB is drinking with some pals. LIZ is joined by JEAN who looks stressed.
LIZ
You alright?
JEAN
Ahm bracing myself.
LIZ
How?
JEAN
Your father’s decided to say a few words.
54
LIZ
Oh God.
JEAN
Let’s just hope he keeps it short.
LIZ
And clean.
YVONNE joins them.
JEAN
Hello hen. You look lovely. Very glam.
YVONNE
Thanks, Mrs Henshaw. It is a special occasion.
LIZ grins – mischevious.
LIZ
She’s trying tae make a good impression. Worried she
would’nae be good enough for our Davy.
JEAN
What? Away hen. Dinnae be daft. We’ve been trying tae
get rid o Davy for years. If you’ve decided you want to
take him on, ahm yer biggest fan!
YVONNE laughs reassured. JEAN leaves them.
YVONNE
S’ all your fault this, I suppose. For introducing us.
LIZ
Ye weren’t so keen on the idea though, were ye!
YVONNE
Well, after the last few times …
LIZ
Ach. You just went out wi too many wankers, that’s all.
Probably thought you could change them and all that.
Truth is though, once a wanker, always a wanker.
They laugh.
Across the room, DAVY is standing with ALLY - who is nervous.
55
DAVY
So when are you going to do it?
ALLY
Don’t know yet. I’m going to be patient. Try and pick the
perfect moment.
DAVY
Well, make sure you don’t drink too much. Ye dinnae
want tae be pissed when the time comes.
ALLY
I know. I’m watching it.
DAVY
More than can be said for ma dad.
They look over at RAB who is enjoying a laugh and a drink.
LIZ and YVONNE cross the room to join them. YVONNE takes DAVY’s arm.
They sit down. RAB has come up to the microphone.
RAB
Ladies and gentlemen. If I could have your attention
please.
An expectant hush falls.
RAB
Firstly, I’d like to thank you all for coming along tonight.
It’s much appreciated. Especially those of you who’ve
travelled from foreign parts – like Kirkcaldy or
Cowdenbeath.
As you know, the reason I’m up here - the reason we’re

all here tonight – is my wife, Jean. We’re here because
thirty years ago a priest asked her a question and she said
‘I do’. Course the question was ‘does anyone know what
this idiot’s done wi the ring.’ … Well, luckily, in the end,
this idiot knew exactly what to do with the ring. I’m
happy to say she’s worn it proudly ever since.
So where do I start to explain what a special lady she is?

I’d need to go all the way back tae ma youth. Back tae a
time before I was the fine figure of a man I am now -
hard tae believe I know. Back to a time when I was just a
wee, spotty guy wi bad sideburns and dodgy flares. Back
when … Ach, how can I put it …
56
RAB launches into Oh Jean which starts as a speech and becomes a drinking song and
dance routine for him and his PALS.
RAB
I'd never been lucky with girls I confess
Don't know who to blame for my lack of success
Cause even with ones up the back of a bus
There was always the risk of a slap in the puss
But Jean, Oh Jean

You let me get lucky with you
PALS
Jean, Oh Jean
You let him get lucky with you
RAB
The first time I met you it did cross my mind
The next time I saw you there wasn't the time
The third time I saw you I thought that I could
The fourth time I met you I knew that I would
Jean, Oh Jean
PALS
Jean, Oh Jean
RAB
I love her, I love her, I love her.
RAB + PALS
JEAN is both moved and embarrassed. She decides to go to the bar. She goes to RAB’s
jacket on the back of a chair and takes his wallet out.
PALS
He wants you forever he wants you for good
So he’s gonna treat you the way that he should
RAB
For your soul and body My hearts gonna pound
Even after the day that I'm laid in the ground
Cause Jean,
57
PALS
Oh Jean
RAB
ALL
Jean, Oh Jean
JEAN opens the wallet on the way to the bar and finds the envelope. Curious, she
moves to one side and takes out the note and the photo. She begins to read. RAB is still
singing. Across the stage MARGARET appears.
RAB + IAIN
RAB + IAIN + CARL

ALL
JEAN finishes reading she looks at the photo then up at MARGARET then at RAB in
the centre of the throng. She looks in shock – trying to make sense of it. RAB sees her.
Sees the photo in her hand. Calls out to her over the singing but can’t get to her.
Slowly, JEAN turns the photo over and sees the date. RAB watches horrified. She
looks again at RAB and MARGARET. RAB is screaming her name now. JEAN
hurries out of the room as RAB struggles to free himself from the throng.
ALL
(vamp repeat)
I love her, I love her, I love her, I love …
RAB sings over the top of this.
RAB
(vamp repeat)
Jean. Oh Jean. You let me get lucky with you!
Finally, RAB breaks free and goes out after his wife. DAVY and LIZ see this and
exchange a look of confusion. Neither knows what’s going on. LIZ starts to go after her
mum and dad but suddenly ALLY is at the microphone. Oblivious to what’s happened.
He stops the singing. LIZ stops too.
ALLY
Can I have yer attention for a minute, Ladies and
Gentlemen. Ehm, I know we’re here tonight to celebrate
Rab and Jean and that but, I’d kinda like to do a wee bit
58
of celebrating myself. And tae dae that a need to ask

somebody a question.
He appeals directly to Liz.
ALLY
Liz, I don’t know what the next thirty years’ll bring for
us but I know I want tae spend them wi you. So …
He produces the ring.
ALLY
… will you do me the honour of becoming my wife.
Silence. LIZ is stunned.
LIZ
God. I’m sorry, Ally. I can’t.
She rushes out. YVONNE goes after her. ALLY is left with the ring in his hand and a
shocked crowd staring at him. A pause.
DRUNK
I hope ye kept the receipt, pal!
There is some laughter at this and suddenly ALLY launches himself at the DRUNK,
knocking him to the ground. The DRUNK’s mates retaliate mobbing ALLY.
Instinctively, DAVY rushes to his friend’s assistance. YVONNE returns to see DAVY
in the thick of the fight. Someone swings a punch at him, DAVY dodges it and flattens
the guy. YVONNE is horrified.
The melee engulfs the whole party. After a moment, DAVY emerges from the throng,
dragging ALLY with him, just in time to see YVONNE leaving.
DAVY
Yvonne?
YVONNE
Leave me alone!
She storms out. DAVY looks again for ALLY who has disappeared. DAVY has had
enough and leaves too. The fight continues…
17. THE AFTERMATH

Outside the hall RAB wanders, looking for JEAN.
RAB
Jean? Jean, where are ye? Jean!
59
JEAN appears. Still and white with fury.
RAB
I’m sorry. I should’ve burned that thing when it arrived.
You should never have seen it.
JEAN
You think that makes me feel better?
RAB
It was a mistake Jean. One night. That’s all. It was thirty
years ago.
JEAN
Aye! June 79. I was pregnant wi Davy.
RAB
I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. How do I make it
make it up to you. What can I do?
JEAN
You can get out of my sight. I mean it. Go! I don’t want
to have to look at you. Go and see to our guests.
She glowers RAB reluctantly turns to leave her.
JEAN
Thirty years, Rab? Thirty years of what?
RAB exits. JEAN is left boiling with anger. DAVY, YVONNE, ALLY and LIZ emerge
– each in their own isolated world and with their own mess of emotions.
JEAN erupts into Hate My Love. She is joined gradually by the others.
JEAN
I like the smell of petrol
I love the taste of booze
But I hate my love for you!
Yeah I hate my love for you!
I like Johnny Cash

Singing a Boy Named Sue
You’re worse than drink

You’re worse than crack
For you they should bring hanging back
And I should be the one to string you up!
YVONNE + LIZ
60
I hate the sound of cliché

As it begins to call
But I hate my love for you most of all
Instrumental break. Possibly using the fight if it’s still going on?
DAVY finds YVONNE.
DAVY
Yvonne! Please. Wait!
YVONNE
I’ve waited a long time, Davy. Waited for somebody I
could rely on. Somebody I could trust. Looks like I’m
still waiting, doesn’t it!
She moves away from him – looking for a taxi home. He is angry. Doesn’t go after her.
ALL
Hate my love for you!
Hate my love for you!
DAVY
I’d tell your ma
I’d tell your pa
But you don’t come from Edinburgh
And I can’t send you back where you belong
ALLY
I like the way you’re standing
In your high-heeled shoes
ALLY+DAVY
ALL
Well I hate my love for you!
(Screams)
Possible guitar solo.
ALLY finds LIZ.
LIZ
You can’t do that, Ally. You should’ve warned me.
61
ALLY
Would that’ve stopped you running out the door?
LIZ
What was I supposed to do?
ALLY
You were supposed to say yes!
ALLY walks away from her.
ALL
You’re worse than drink
You’re worse than crack
For you they should bring hanging back
And I should be the one to string you up
I hate the sound of cliché

As it begins to call
Oh I hate my love for you most of all!
INTERVAL
18.
62
PHONE CALL
Sound of a phone ringing. Clicks into answering machine. Yvonne’s message.
YVONNE
Hi, this is Yvonne. Sorry I can’t take your call. Leave a
message and I’ll get back to you ….
The beep.
DAVY
Yvonne, it’s me. Listen, I can’t keep filling up yer
machine wi messages. Call me back will you. Or answer
your door. I need to see you. We need to sort this out.
Face to face. I’m not letting it end like this. I’m not. I
don’t want to lose you … because … well, because …
the truth is … ah –
Another beep. The machine cuts DAVY off in mid-sentence.
19. THREE MEN

RAB, ALLY and DAVY sing LIFE WITH YOU together but in separate worlds.
(This is a provisional line allocation in the song – to be confirmed!)
RAB
When I was a younger man
ALLY
When I was a silly boy
RAB
I didn't need a thing,
ALLY + RAB
I was strong as anything,
I viewed solitude as a joy
DAVY
But since I met you I'm distraught
You wandered in and now I'm caught
DAVY + RAB
I never thought I would see
Someone so truly good
Some one who's so everything I'm not
DAVY + RAB + ALLY

I want to spend my life with you
63
Don't want to live all alone

I can't conceive of the years left in me
Without you in our home
DAVY
But what if,
RAB
what if,
ALLY
what if what
RAB
If it's not perfect then it's not
DAVY
But every care I'll take
DAVY + ALLY
Nothing I won't forsake
DAVY + ALLY + RAB

To dwell beside what you've got
DAVY
Every time I think about you
ALLY
I think I can't live with you
RAB
I'll tell you something
DAVY + ALLY + RAB

I am nothing without you
DAVY + ALLY + RAB

(Hey!)

64
20. HOME AGAIN

RAB is in the living room when JEAN returns from work. The atmosphere is icy.
JEAN can’t look at him. A long awkward silence.
RAB
Fancy a cup of tea?
JEAN
No thanks.
RAB
Just as well, I think we’re out of milk.
Another long pause. She glares at him.
JEAN
What are you playing at?
RAB
What d’you mean?
JEAN
Acting normal. As if nothing’s happened.
RAB
Well what am I supposed to do? Tell me what ahm ah
supposed to do?
She doesn’t answer.
RAB
It was a mistake, Jean. A stupid mistake. God, if I could
change it I would. But it was thirty years ago.
JEAN
Ye say that like there’s some kinda expiry date. Like after
a certain amount of time ye canny be held responsible.
Well I’ve got news for ye, Rab. It doesnae work like that.
RAB
Ahm no saying we should forget about it, just that we
have tae remember all the other stuff we’ve been through
thegither.
JEAN
65
That’s what makes it worse. This thing has been there

through all that. Through the whole of our marriage
nearly. Like some vicious wee tumour, poisoning
everything.
Pause.
RAB
I stayed, Jean. She asked me tae go and I stayed.
JEAN
Of course ye did. Ye had a wife wi a bairn on the way.
Ye had tae stay.
RAB
I didnae stay because I had tae.
JEAN
And what about now Rab. That’s what I keep thinking.
Why dae wi stay thegither now?
RAB
I thought it was cause we loved each other.
JEAN
Is it?
RAB
What d’ye mean?
JEAN
What if it’s just habit? What if it’s cause we’re just too
frightened tae dae anything else?
Pause.
RAB
If you want me to go, I’ll go.
JEAN looks at him, hard.
JEAN
Go then.
RAB gets up to go.
JEAN
Go and get some milk.
RAB is relieved but JEAN isn’t smiling – this isn’t resolved.

66
21. BREAKING-UP
LIZ visits ALLY.
LIZ
I’m sorry, Ally.
ALLY
It doesn’t matter.
LIZ
It does.
ALLY
I mean it doesn’t matter that you’re sorry. It doesn’t
change anything. The answer’s still no, isn’t it.
LIZ
You should’ve warned me. You should’ve said
something.
ALLY
I did! All that stuff about the future. We talked about it.
LIZ
Yeah. And I told you that it scares me. I don’t want to
know what I’ll be doing in thirty years time.
ALLY
You said it was what you wanted.
LIZ
No I didn’t.
ALLY
You said it was what everybody wanted.
LIZ
Well, maybe I’m not everybody.
ALLY
Oh not good enough for you, is that it?
LIZ
Dinnae be stupid.
ALLY
Cause you never complained before.
67
LIZ
For God’s sake, Ally. We have a great time. I love being
wi ye. You’re ma best pal. But it doesnae mean I’m ready
to march down the aisle.
ALLY
Well what does it mean then? Cause it’s been years, Liz.
Years.
LIZ
Aye. Years when you’ve hardly ever been here. Back for
a couple of weeks every now and then.
ALLY
I’m here now.
LIZ
And I’m supposed to just fall into line?
ALLY
You have to settle down sometime.
LIZ
I don’t want to settle.
ALLY
You mean you don’t want to settle for me.
LIZ
That’s not what I meant.
ALLY
So what do you want, Liz? What do you want that’s so
much better?
LIZ
I want the world, Ally. I want skyscrapers and sunshine. I
want deserts and oceans. I want street signs I don’t
understand and music I’ve never heard before.
ALLY
Take a holiday.
LIZ
I don’t want a holiday. I want a life.
ALLY
That’s not a life, it’s a travel brochure!
68
LIZ
Don’t laugh at me.
ALLY
Why? Does it hurt? Go on, tell me. It’s not as if I’d know
is it!
LIZ
I’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down.
ALLY
What’s the point? You’ve said your piece. You’ve made
yourself clear. What’s left to talk about?
LIZ
You don’t mean that.
ALLY
There’s no going back. Not now.
LIZ
Ally …?
ALLY
I don’t want tae be yer pal, Lizzie.
Beat.
LIZ
Okay. So that’s it then? …. Fine.
She leaves.
24. MAKING UP
DAVY and YVONNE. Into Then I Met You.
YVONNE
Thought that I'd be happy
Going to be so happy
Living life alone and never sharing anything
DAVY
Thought that I was finished
Thought that I was complete
Thought that I was whole instead of being half of
something
DAVY
69
I was only looking out for Ally. I was just looking out for
ma pal. What’s wrong wi that?
YVONNE
What’s wrong? The red mist descends, you start hitting
people and you want to know what’s wrong?
DAVY
It wasn’t like that.
YVONNE
I deal with the consequences of that kind of behaviour
every day.
DAVY
Your acting like I’m some kind of thug?
YVONNE
You lost it, Davy. You lost it and decked that guy.
DAVY
I didn’t lose it!
Beat.
DAVY
I put the guy down before he could hit me. Self defence.
Army taught me that. Same time they taught me to stay in
control.?
YVONNE
How do I know that’s where it stops? I’ve been here
before, Davy.
DAVY
Not wi me.
YVONNE
Thought that I was growing
Growing older, wiser
Understanding why this world held nothing for my spirit
DAVY
Thought that I was destined
Destined to be nothing
Destined to be nothing in this world and then I met you.
YVONNE
Sorry. I’m not very good at all this.
DAVY
70
I’m a bit out of practice myself.
YVONNE
Maybe I expect too much.
DAVY
Or maybe you just expect the worst.
YVONNE
You scared me.
DAVY
I’m sorry.
YVONNE
I’ve kept my guard up for so long, it’s hard.
DAVY
I know.
YVONNE
Thought the book was written
DAVY
Thought the game had ended
YVONNE + DAVY
Thought the song was sung and I could never sing
another.
Thought I knew this city

Thought I knew all about it
And then one night I went to Morningside and you were
waiting
I met you I met you

I met you
A kiss.
25. THE OFFER

JEAN in the living room. LIZ enters. JEAN comes out of her dwam.
JEAN
How’re ye doing, sweetheart?
Liz sits down with a sigh.
71
JEAN
Ach. It’s a shame, love, but it’s no the end of the world.
He’ll get over it. Ye both will.
LIZ
He doesnae want tae talk to me. Or see me. He said so.
JEAN
He’s just hurting, Lizzie.
LIZ
Aye. Because of me.
JEAN
It’s no your fault.
LIZ
That’s not what folk are thinking though, is it. I’m the
one who turned him down.
JEAN
Dinnae be daft. You’ve got to make up yer ain mind up
about what’s right for you. Folk’ll understand that - if
they care about you. And if they don’t, then what does it
matter.
LIZ
But what if ye don’t know what’s right?
JEAN
Ye have tae trust yerself, Lizzie.
LIZ
Even if other folk get hurt?
JEAN
Better that than if ye just go along wi it for their sake.
It’ll only make things worse in the long run.
LIZ is thinking, wanting to tell her something. Takes something from her bag – a
formal letter.
JEAN
Whats that?
LIZ hands it to JEAN who starts to read.
LIZ
I went tae see them them a while ago. Just tae get an idea.
I put ma details in their website. They came back wi that.
72
JEAN is reading with growing realisation.
JEAN
It’s a job offer …
LIZ
Aye.
JEAN is taken aback.
LIZ
Thing is … it sounds exciting. Sounds like … like what I
want.
JEAN
You’re thinking about taking it? Going away?
LIZ nods.
JEAN
But its Florida
LIZ
You said ah should make up my own mind.
JEAN
I know. But … it’s just …
LIZ
You said folk would understand.
JEAN stops - thwarted by the logic of her own argument.
1. RESIGNING
Hospital. Some NURSES about - getting ready to go home or to go on shift. YVONNE
enters – busy with some paperwork she needs to complete. LIZ enters looking for her.
LIZ
Yvonne?
YVONNE
You still here? Thought you’d gone home. I’ve got to
finish all this first.
LIZ doesn’t really respond. YVONNE notices.
73
YVONNE
You alright? What’s up?
LIZ is conscious of the other NURSES. She tries to speak quietly.
LIZ
Listen, I wanted to tell you, before word got about …
I’ve handed in my notice.
YVONNE
What? …. Seriously?
LIZ nods.
YVONNE
But why? What’s happened?
LIZ
I’ve got another job.
YVONNE
Where?
LIZ
Florida.
A beat.
YVONNE
God. Lizzie. Why didn’t you say anything?
LIZ
It was something I had to decide for myself.
YVONNE
Is this because of Ally?
LIZ
No. I just need a change. To try something different.
YVONNE
Just cause it’s different, doesn’t mean it’ll be better. You
sure you’re doing the right thing?
LIZ
No. But you know what a mess this place is in. It’s only
going to get worse.
YVONNE
Not if we put up a fight.
74
LIZ
I’m tired of fighting, Yvonne. I’ve been doing it all my
life. Ma dad would take me on demos when I was a kid.
Cuts. Privatisation. The war. I thought things’d be
different now. Only here we are. Still waiting for the next
big thing. A new government. A new parliament. A new
prime minister. But we’re always waiting. And ma life’s
happening now. I just don’t want to wait any more.
YVONNE
So are you going for good?
LIZ
Ah don’t know. Ahm not thinking that far ahead.
Anything could happen. That’s the point.
YVONNE
Your folks. They just got Davy back. Now they’re losing
you.
LIZ
I know. But it’s not that far away. Not really.
A beat.
YVONNE
I better get back. But we should catch up. I want to hear
all about it. Tomorrow.
LIZ
Aye. Okay. Tomorrow.
YVONNE heads off but stops.
YVONNE
Won’t be the same without you round here. The place
needs people like you.
This resonates with LIZ. YVONNE exits. LIZ moves into the ‘foyer’ area – still
thinking about what was said. It is quiet, only a few people about. A SECURITY
GUARD, a CLEANER, a WOMAN sitting in a waiting area, a RECEPTIONIST at the
enquiries desk. LIZ is affected by what Yvonne said. Into What Do You Do?
LIZ
Yeah I know you're right
I see it in your fierce eyes
But me I've never thought straight
Since the day I had the first doubt
75
Yeah I know you're right

And I'll back you to a point, pal
But I'll never be constrained
By another man's ideas now
LIZ+CLEANER
I spent too long on this road
Looking for the answers
But poverty and failure
Aren't what I'm after
LIZ+SECURITY GUARD
I painted "fight" on factories
But they closed the factory down, pal
I want to find out where the heart's gone
Gonna find out where the nerve’s gone
LIZ+CLEANER+ SECURITY GUARD

What do you do when democracy fails you?
What do you do when the rest can't see its true?
LIZ + RECEPTIONIST
Ma Dad votes the Scots way
Just like my mother
But South always takes all
Just like ma brother
LIZ+WOMAN
The next time they might vote
Aye and so might the others
But times running out, pal
Cause we're giving up in numbers
ALL
What do you do when democracy's all through?
What do you do when minority means you?
Instrumental break. LIZ exits. The others have nowhere to go.
ALL
What do you do when democracy's all through?
What do you do when minority means you?
22. BRITANNIA
JEAN is at work on the Royal Yacht. She is hiding in a toilet crying. Her friend
HAZEL – and two other CLEANERS – come on the scene and discover her.
HAZEL
76
Jean? Jean? What’re you doing in there? Whats up

darling?
JEAN opens the door.
JEAN
Sorry, Hazel love.
HAZEL
Ah come on. They’re not worth it. None of them.
JEAN
I’m sorry. I’m meant to be working.
CLEANER 1
Dinnae fash. It’s all done now.
CLEANER 2
This isnae a public area anyway.
HAZEL
Nine quid admission but they still don’t want the hoi-
polloi gawking at the Queen’s old lavvy do they.
JEAN recovers a little.
JEAN
I don’t know what to do, Hazel. I know it was a long time
ago but that just makes it worse. It’s like he’s been lying
for all those years.
HAZEL
So have you kicked him out?
JEAN
He’s on the couch.
HAZEL
Should be in a bloody kennel if you ask me.
JEAN
It’s no just Rab though. Liz is moving half-way round the
world. It’s like ma family’s falling apart. I’m wondering
if ah’ve been doing something wrong. Mibbe I wasnae a
good enough wife. Or a bad mother. Mibbe it’s all my
fault?
HAZEL
What?! Have you been sniffing the Parazone or
something? Of course it’s not your fault!
77
JEAN
But why is this happening to my family?
HAZEL
It can happen to any family, sweetheart. Christ, do you
think old Liz herself never sat right there, with her
drawers round her ankles, crying about the state of her
mob. I mean look at them - you think you’ve got
problems!
JEAN starts to laugh. Another two CLEANERS arrive to provide support.
HAZEL
No. You listen to me, Jean Henshaw, whatever’s
happened it’s not your fault. You’ve done nothing but
work yourself into the ground. It’s not more grief you
deserve it’s a bit of bloody gratitude.
Chorus of agreement. HAZEL leads into Should Have Been Loved .
HAZEL
You’ve been let down, messed around
Told to get your feet back on the ground
HAZEL + CLEANER
When you should have been loved, loved, loved
Should have been loved
CLEANER
You’ve been ripped off, written off
Told an act of kindness made you soft
HAZEL+ CLEANER
You should have been loved
HAZEL
But all your detractors underestimated you
Cause they don’t know you like I do
Aye, it’s been rough, you’ve put up wi stuff

Been times we thought that you had had enough
HAZEL + CLEANERS
But you should have been loved, loved, loved
CLEANER
And anything new, you tried to do
78
Got treated like a jumper in a queue
HAZEL + CLEANERS
CLEANER
But when there was pity and when there was wealth
You wasted neither on yourself
Instrumental Break.
HAZEL
Come on now. Get your face on and hold your head high.
You’re not the problem. You’re the one who keeps it all
together!
HAZEL + CLEANERS
Should have been loved, should have been loved
Instrumental Break.
JEAN
You’re right. It’s up to me to sort this out. It’ll tear us
apart if ah let it. But I’m damned if ahm gonnae let it!
HAZEL + CLEANERS
Whoa, your detractors underestimated you

Cause they don’t know you like we do, like we do
JEAN
I’ve been let down, messed around
Told to get ma feet back on the ground
When I should have been loved, loved, loved
ALL
loved, loved, loved, loved, loved, loved
loved, loved, loved, loved, loved, loved
You should have been loved, should have been loved,

should have (x 7)
JEAN
(over this rpt)
I know what ahm gonnae do, Hazel. It’s time tae fix this
mess. Time tae get ma life back in order. Time tae show
them all what Jean Henshaw’s really made of!
79
ALL
You should have been loved, should have been loved,
should have been loved
You should have been loved, you should have been loved
You should have been loved, you should have been loved
23. PAINT
Kirkgate Centre. RAB and a pal – EDDIE - are on their way home. Each is carrying
two big tins of paint. RAB is out of breath.
RAB
Here. Let’s stop a minute, Eddie, can we? I need a
breather.
He sets the tins down. EDDIE does likewise.
EDDIE
Are you sure you need four tins? That’s a lot of paint.
RAB
Aye well, I’ve got a lot of sooking up to do. Jean’s been
banging on about doing the ceilings for ages. This should
be enough for a couple of rooms at least.
EDDIE
D’you think it’ll get ye back into her good books?
RAB
Are you kidding? I’ve mair chance of getting intae
Madonnas knickers. Naw, I’m just hoping this might get
me aff the couch. Feel like bloody Quasimodo these days.
He rubs his back and his left shoulder.
EDDIE
So how are you going to do the ceilings wi yer bad back?
RAB
Ah-hah. Thought of that, Eddie, my boy. I’ve bought wan
of they telescopic rollers. Ye can dae it all fae the floor.
Dinnae even need a ladder.
EDDIE
Barry. Did ye get that down the Kirkgate?
RAB
80
Naw. Aff the telly. QVC.
EDDIE
QVC?!
RAB
What?
EDDIE
I’ve seen it before, Rab. Ye start out watching the DIY on
a Sunday, then ye dip yer toes in the gardening. And ye
tell yersel it’ll stop there but, naw– mark my words –
before you know it you’ll measuring up for curtains and
buying bangles aff Joan Rivers. QVC, honest to god. It’s
like crack!
RAB tries to stand up but is having some difficulty. He is holding his arm.
EDDIE
Are ye alright?
RAB grimaces with pain and starts to keel over. EDDIE grabs him.
EDDIE
Rab? Rab!
He clutches the slumping RAB. They exit.
24. WAITING
DAVY is in a relatives’ room in a critical care ward. He is fidgeting with worry and
helplessness. YVONNE enters and tries to reassure him.
DAVY
What’s happening? How is he?
YVONNE
Well, he’s still critical but his condition is stable now.
DAVY
Yvonne, is he going to die?
YVONNE hesitates.
YVONNE
He had a massive coronary. There’ll be damage to his
heart. If the damage is bad …
DAVY
When will we know how bad it is?
81
YVONNE
The test results will give us an idea. Even if they’re good
it’ll be a while before he’ll be going home. Might take
him weeks to get his strength back.
DAVY
When I was a kid he was still working on the docks. Used
to meet him coming home from work and he’d swing me
up on his shoulder like it was nothing. Like he could
carry you forever. He was so strong back then. I thought
nothing could touch him.
YVONNE
That was a long time ago, Davy.
DAVY
It’s one of the reasons I joined the army. Never told him.
But I wanted to be like that. Strong like him. I wanted to
be a man like him. Wanted him to see that. To be proud.
YVONNE
You think he doesn’t see that? You think he isn’t proud?
DAVY
But all we do is argue.
YVONNE
Maybe he thinks you’re someone worth arguing with.
DAVY
We should have been looking out for him. The way he
looked out for us when we were kids. We owe him that.
YVONNE
You’re here for him. You can’t do any more than that.
DAVY
Not much though, is it.
YVONNE
I think it is. I think it matters.
A tender moment between them.
LIZ enters carrying two plastic cups of tea. She hands one to DAVY and sits down next
to him – head on his shoulder. YVONNE stands up.
YVONNE
82
I better get back to work. I’ll come back up in a little

while.
LIZ nods. YVONNE kisses DAVY then exits. DAVY and LIZ sit in silence.
25. BEDSIDE
RAB is in bed hooked up to machines and monitors. JEAN is by his side, clutching his
hand.
JEAN
You scared me. You really scared me there. I got a look.
A wee glimpse of what it would be like, y’see. And it
was dark, Rab. Pitch black. A long, dark night – if you
werenae here.
Mind you, at least you’re no complaining about me
holding yer hand. Never liked that did ye. Shoved them
in yer pockets rather than walk down the street like this.
But I rumbled ye. I rumbled ye years ago. Right after I
met you, when ma daddy passed. You held my hand then,
didn’t ye. All day. At the church. The cemetery. All
through the meal. You held on to it. Tight. Like you were
never gonnae let go.
That’s when I knew. That’s when I knew you were the
one. That’s when I decided that I was gonnae hold onto
to you. Hold on to you tight. Hold on and never let go.
JEAN goes into Sunshine on Leith.
JEAN
My heart was broken, my heart was broken
Sorrow Sorrow
Sorrow Sorrow

You saw it, You claimed it
You touched it, You saved it
The song conjurs up YOUNG JEAN and YOUNG RAB celebrating on their wedding
day – very 1970s. They are happy, in love and with everything to look forward to.
JEAN
My tears are drying, my tears are drying
Thankyou Thankyou
Thankyou Thankyou
My tears are drying, my tears are drying

83
Your beauty and kindness

Made tears clear my blindness
While I'm worth my room on this earth

I will be with you
While the Chief, puts sunshine on Leith
I'll thank him for his work
And your birth and my birth
Instrumental. Possibly with the young couple waltzing together in their wedding dance.
JEAN
Sorrow Sorrow
Sorrow Sorrow

You saw it, You claimed it
You touched it, You saved it
While I'm worth my room on this earth

I will be with you
While the Chief, puts sunshine on Leith
I'll thank him for his work
And your birth and my birth
More instrumental. The wedding party drift away. JEAN is alone again with RAB.
26. STILL WAITING

Later. LIZ and DAVY are still together in the relative’s room.
LIZ
This is all my fault.
DAVY
Don’t be daft.
LIZ
He was already stressed out but I couldn’t keep ma big
mouth shut about going to America, could I?
DAVY
What else were you supposed to do? Sneak off without
mentioning it? I think he would’ve noticed.
LIZ
I should’ve seen what was going on. I should’ve decided
not to go.
84
DAVY
Liz, Dad smokes, he drinks, he has a fry up every
morning, his idea of exercise is running to put a line on
and he was humphing twenty litres of white emulsion
through the Kirkgate. Ye don’t need tae be Quincy to
work out it’s no your fault!
JEAN comes in from the side ward with a DOCTOR.

DAVY and LIZ are suddenly alert.
DAVY
What’s happening?
DOCTOR
The test results are encouraging. The damage doesn’t
look too extensive. Time will tell - but we’re cautiously
optimistic.
DAVY and LIZ are relieved.
LIZ
Thank you.
DOCTOR
I’ve given him a sedative. He’s sleeping. Likely to be out
for some time. You might think about getting some rest
yourselves.
LIZ nods. The DOCTOR exits.
JEAN
Looks like he’s going to be alright.
DAVY
Thank God.
LIZ
The Doctor’s right, mum. He’ll be out for hours. You
should go home. Try and rest a bit yourself.
JEAN
I’m not leaving him alone.
LIZ glances at DAVY wondering what to do.
DAVY
I’ll stay. You two come back in the morning. I’ll call you
if anything happens.
JEAN is uncertain.
85
LIZ
Come on, Mum. You’ll need your strength for when he
wakes up.
JEAN
Are you sure you’ll be alright, Davy?
DAVY
I’ll be fine, ma. I’ll see you tomorrow.
JEAN nods. LIZ and JEAN exit.
DAVY crosses to RAB’s bed. He stands and looks at his dad. He reaches out to touch
him but takes his hand away – unable to. The lights fade down to darkness.
27. BEDSIDE AGAIN

Lights up – a different state – daytime now. RAB in bed. A few days later. A NURSE
tidying up the display of cards and flowers. He is conscious but still weak. LIZ comes
in to visit – with a bag of supplies. The NURSE smiles at LIZ then leaves. LIZ tries to
be cheerful but is still shocked by his state.
LIZ
Hello there.
RAB
Lizzie. Thank God. Did ye bring me ma paper? I thought
I was gonnae have to nip out tae Menzies masel.
LIZ
You’ll no be nipping out anywhere for a while. Here. I’ll
put it at the side.
She takes a Daily Record out of the bag.
RAB
And ma polos?
She finds his polo mints too.
LIZ
Everything ye asked for. And a puzzle magazine. In case
ye get bored.
86
RAB
Puzzle magazine! Ah’d have to be gie bored before ah
resort tae that. Did ye bring me a crayon tae. I could dae
some colouring in.
LIZ
Yer not funny.
He laughs – and then winces a little.
LIZ
Are you alright?
RAB
Ach, it’s not as bad as it looks.
LIZ
Does it hurt? Are you in pain?
RAB
Well, it’s no very comfortable – but still better than that
bloody couch!
This raises a smile from LIZ.
RAB
That’s better. That’s the smile that’ll knock ‘em dead on
Miami Beach, eh?
LIZ
No. Miami Beach’s going to have to do without me. I’ve
changed ma mind. I’m not going.
RAB
How no? It sounds amazing. I’d go masel if I was a wee
bit younger… and a wee bit healthier … and a trained
nurse.
LIZ
I can’t go. Not now.
RAB takes her hand - serious.
RAB
I’m not having you change your plans. Not because of
me. You have to go.
LIZ
But how can I?
87
RAB
Because if you stay I’ll feel even worse. I don’t want tae
be responsible for ruining your big chance. I want tae be
lying here thinking about you driving a Cadillac
convertible on the wrong side of the road and checking
yer pool for crocodiles.
LIZ
Alligators. It’s alligators they have.
RAB
See. Yer like a local already.
LIZ isn’t convinced by this bravado. RAB tries a more sincere approach.
RAB
Remember, the holidays we had when you were wee. Up
in the Highlands. You were always off exploring.
Desperate to have an adventure. That’s the way y’are. I
love that. I’d never want ye tae change.
LIZ
But it’s so far away.
RAB
No these days. And yer mother’s always wanted tae go
tae Disneyland. You’ll be sick of the sight of us.
A beat.
LIZ
I’d be abandoning everybody.
RAB
Folk’ve always had to move for work, pet. S’why there’s
Scots in every corner o’ the planet. It’s traditional!
LIZ
You never moved.
RAB
Nearly did. Course my option wasnae Florida, mair like
Fife. At least you’re going somewhere ye can get a tan.
LIZ
You nearly moved tae Fife?
RAB
88
Aye. Glenrothes. Thought about Livingston too. The

New Towns. They were a big thing then. Could’ve got a
house wi a garden an everything.
LIZ
So what stopped you?
RAB
Well, there’s no many ships dock in Glenrothes is there?
LIZ smiles.
RAB
I liked ma job. Didnae fancy a car factory or an
engineering works. Decided tae stick where I was. But I
still wonder what it would’ve been like. To try something
different. Someplace new.
A beat. He’s fading a little.
LIZ
I better go. You need to rest.
RAB holds onto her hand tightly.
RAB
Ye musn’t change yer plans, Liz. Not for me. I need ye
tae go out and grab life wi both hands. Then I’ll know
I’ve done my job. Now you promise me. Promise me
you’ll go.
A beat.
LIZ
Okay, dad. I promise.
He lets go her hand and sinks back in his pillows – relieved. He closes his eyes, smiling
He drifts off to sleep. LIZ wipes tears from her face. She exits.
28. REPRISE
ALLY alone, reflecting and deciding.
ALLY
I sometimes wonder why I pray
When my spirit just drives away
When I’m on my knees to the gates I’ll stumble
And plead my case in a style that’s humble
89
ALLY + SOLDIER VOICES


29. ALLY
Ally’s room at his brother’s house. ALLY is sorting and packing through this scene.
He is sombre. DAVY enters. ALLY is surprised to see him.
DAVY
Hello stranger.
ALLY
Hiya.
DAVY
Your brother let me in. Said you were here.
ALLY
Yep. Here I am.
DAVY
Long time, no see.
ALLY
Yeah.
DAVY
I left messages.
ALLY
I know. Sorry. Just needed a bit of space. Had a lot of
stuff to think about.
DAVY
I’m sorry, Ally. I wish it could’ve worked out better.
ALLY
Yeah. Me too. But there’s nothing ye can do is there. Liz
was pretty clear about what she wanted. Or at least what
she didn’t want.
A beat.
90
DAVY
Call centre say they’ll take you back anytime you fancy
it.
ALLY
Nah. Not for me. I’m surprised you’re still there.
DAVY shrugs.
DAVY
I’m looking around. But hey, apparently if I stick at it I
could make team-leader in six months.
ALLY smiles at this.
ALLY
Yeah, you were always chasing promotion, weren’t ye.
DAVY smiles too. The mood eases slightly.
DAVY
You know she’s going away.
ALLY
I heard.
DAVY
Florida.
ALLY
It makes sense, I suppose. Somewhere bigger. Brighter.
That’s what she wanted. We cannnae really compete can
we. Cramond’s no match for Key West.
DAVY
I think she’d like to see you before she goes.
ALLY
Is that why you’re here? Did she send you?
DAVY
No. I came round to see how you were.
A beat.
ALLY
I’m fine. I’m just not feeling very sociable, you know. I
don’t think I can face your sister at the moment. Sorry.
DAVY nods. A beat.

91
ALLY
How’s yer, dad?
DAVY
Getting better, thanks. Should be getting home in a
couple of weeks.
ALLY
Tell him I was asking for him, will you.
DAVY
Tell him yourself if you like. He’s always glad to get
visitors. I’m sure he’d love to see you.
ALLY
Thanks. But I don’t really have time.
DAVY
Are you going somewhere?
ALLY hesitates.
ALLY
Like I said. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.
DAVY
And?
ALLY
Well there’s nothing here for me now, is there. Not
really.
DAVY
What are you talking about? What about your family?
ALLY
There’s only my brother. He wants the room back.
DAVY
So where are you going?
A beat.
ALLY
I joined up again.
It takes DAVY a few seconds to absorb this.
DAVY
92
You can’t.
ALLY
I can. I did.
DAVY
But what about all the things we talked about. The
reasons for getting out.
ALLY
I only had one reason really – and that doesn’t apply
now. I didn’t mind it otherwise.
DAVY
You said you’d had enough of the sand and the flies and
the people trying to kill you. You said it yourself. It’s a
mess over there. We were pushing our luck sticking it as
long as we did.
ALLY
That’s not going to go on for ever.
DAVY
I don’t see it ending anytime soon. Have you forgotten
how close we came? And how often it happened?
ALLY
At least you felt part of something then. Connected.
DAVY
Ally, it’s crazy.
ALLY
Why? It’s somewhere bigger, isn’t it. Somewhere
brighter. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be looking
for? A bit of adventure instead of just drifting along
toward old age? Or settling for something.
DAVY
But you’re home now.
ALLY
Home?! What does that mean?
DAVY
You need to think about this –
ALLY
I have.
93
DAVY
Well, think again.
ALLY
Don’t tell me what to do.
DAVY
But how can ye go back?
ALLY
Because they wanted me!
Silence.
DAVY
Ally, you can’t do this because of Liz
ALLY
I’m not. I’m just following her lead. I’m making my
choice. It’s nothing to do with her. Not now.
DAVY
Ally, I’m begging you, please …
ALLY
It was good to see you, Davy, but I’ve got a lot to do
here.
DAVY realises he is being dismissed. Reluctantly, he prepares to go.
ALLY
I’ll see you around, yeah.
He extends a hand. DAVY reluctantly shakes it and heads out, still shocked.
DAVY
Take care of yourself, Ally. D’you hear me? Keep your
head down. Don’t do anything stupid.
ALLY shrugs.
ALLY
Yeah.
DAVY leaves. ALLY continues to pack.
94
30. PREPARING TO LEAVE

Hospital. Night time. RAB is sitting up in the bed now looking at a photo album.
YVONNE drops in to see him.
YVONNE
Hi, Mr Henshaw. Nipped up to see how you’re doing.
RAB
Hello, hen.
She takes a look at his chart and is satisfied with it.
YVONNE
What have you got there?
RAB
An old photo album. Jean brought it in. Holiday pictures
fae when the kids were wee. Look, there’s Davy in his
shorts and wellies.
YVONNE comes and looks.
YVONNE
Cute. Wonder what happened, eh?
RAB smiles.
RAB
That’s Ullapool. Lovely up there. We used to travel all
over the West Coast wi the tent. Even out to the islands
sometimes. The kids used tae love it. The camping and
all that. You ever do that?
YVONNE shakes her head.
YVONNE
We were more your seaside guest house types.
RAB
Oh, very nice.
YVONNE
I think it was easier, just being the two of us. My dad left
when I was wee, so it was just me and mum. We had a
great time though.
RAB
I’ll bet. And those are the times ye remember, eh. All the
wee things. Picnics. Building sandcastles. Ice-cream
melting over your fingers.
95
RAB
D’ye think ye can get a 99 wi raspberry on it in Miami?
Beat.
YVONNE
Is Liz coming to see you tomorrow?
RAB
Aye. In the morning. Flight’s at three, so, plenty time.
YVONNE
Must be difficult.
RAB
Truth is, if my heart wasnae broken already this’d dae the
trick.
YVONNE
But she was going to stay, you told her she had to go.
RAB
Ah had tae tell her that. She’s got tae go and live her life.
Even if it rips the guts out of the rest of us. Joys of
parenthood, eh.
YVONNE doesn’t say anything.
RAB
Sorry, hen. Didnae mean tae go on. Don’t mind me.
YVONNE
Don’t be daft. I was thinking about my mum.
RAB
D’ye see a lot of her?
YVONNE
When I can. She visits but it’s a long way for her.
RAB
D’ye phone ?
YVONNE
Not as often as I should.
RAB
Why not give her a bell tomorrow, eh. Make her day.
96
YVONNE
Yeah. I think I’ll do that. Thanks.
She heads back out.
YVONNE
Night, Mr Henshaw.
RAB
Goodnight hen.
She leaves. RAB returns to the photo album.
35a. LETTER FROM AMERICA
As he turns the pages, we become aware of LIZ in a separate space, packing her case.
ALLY has remained in his place from the previous scene, still packing his own stuff.
DAVY is outside somewhere – maybe at The Shore.
JEAN enters and watches LIZ packing. LIZ becomes aware of her.
LIZ
It’s hard to know what to take. I’ve got so much stuff. I’ll
never be able tae carry it all.
JEAN
Ye don’t need to take everything. Leave some of it here.
LIZ
I can always get it when I come back.
JEAN
I meant ye’ll want tae go shopping when ye get there.
LIZ
Aye.
JEAN
Ye’ll be getting all sorts of new things.
LIZ
I suppose I will.
A beat.
JEAN
It’ll be fine, Lizzie. You’ll be fine.
LIZ
Thanks, mum.
97
A beat. JEAN gently and slowly leads into Letter From America
JEAN
When you go will you send back
A letter from America?
Take a look up the rail track
From Miami to Canada
LIZ
Broke off from my work the other day
I spent the evening thinking about all the blood that
flowed away
Across the ocean to the second chance
I wonder how it got on when it reached the promised
land?
RAB
LIZ
I've looked at the ocean tried hard to imagine
The way they felt the day they sailed from Wester Ross to
Nova Scotia
JEAN + RAB
We should have held you, we should have told you
But you know our sense of timing, we always wait too
long
JEAN+RAB
RAB is gazing at the holiday snaps. LIZ packing a mini-photo wallet of her own.
RAB
Lochaber no more. Sutherland no more.
Lewis no more. Skye no more.
JEAN+RAB
98
JEAN+RAB+LIZ
DAVY
I wonder my blood will you ever return
To help us kick the life back into a dying mutual friend
ALLY
Do we not love her? Do we not say we love her?
Do we have to roam the world to prove how much it
hurts?
JEAN+RAB+DAVY+ALLY
Over the next section, DAVY wanders off and ALLY picks up his stuffed kit bag and
exits too.
RAB
Bathgate no more. Linwood no more.
Methil no more. Irvine no more.
JEAN+RAB
JEAN+RAB+LIZ
LIZ
Methil no more. Lochaber no more.
With the song finished, so is the packing. LIZ picks up her case and exits. Black out
and a sound of a large jet taking off, flying overhead.
31. BLACKFORD AGAIN

Lights up. YVONNE is up the hill with DAVY again. They are looking up at the sky.
DAVY
It was a good idea. Coming up here. Surprise though.
Thought you didn’t like the climb.
99
Beat.
DAVY
We should’ve brought a kite. Have you got a kite? You
should get one. Everybody should.
Beat.
DAVY
What you doing?
YVONNE
Waiting for my head to clear. You said it works every
time. Do you remember?
DAVY
Our first date. You thought Scottish men were
emotionally retarded.
YVONNE
You said you couldn’t live anywhere else.
Beat.
DAVY
What is it?
YVONNE
What happened with your dad, it made me think about a
lot of stuff. About us. About what might happen.
DAVY
You worried I’m going to keel over on the way home fae
the shops?
YVONNE
It made me realise a few things.
DAVY
What things?
YVONNE
How close you are to your family. How much they mean
to you. Especially now.
DAVY
Yeah.
YVONNE
100
It made me think about my mum. Made me realise that

something like this is could happen to her. A stroke. Or a
broken hip. Or something.
DAVY
Well, let’s not wish it on her, eh?
YVONNE
No. But it’s important cause … well, if it did happen, I’d
want to be there for her.
DAVY
Of course.
YVONNE
But think about it, Davy. It means that sometime, maybe
sometime soon, I’d have to go home. To live. To do
whatever I have to do for her.
Pause.
YVONNE
The thing is, if I did have to leave …. I wasn’t sure that
you would come with me.
DAVY doesn’t know what to say.
DAVY
But … that’s all just hypothetical … we don’t know
what’s going to happen.
YVONNE
No. We don’t know. But we’re not nineteen are we. We
can make an educated guess. We’re old enough to know
where we stand. Aren’t we?
DAVY
Where we stand on what? Your family? My family? Us?
What are you talking about?
YVONNE
I’m saying, if this were all to fall apart in a few years
time it would … Well, it would just be too much. I’d
rather sort it now.
DAVY
101
Are you dumping me? Is that it? You’re going to throw

this away because of what might happen years down the
line?
YVONNE
I’m not dumping you! I’m trying to explain what’s on my
mind.
DAVY
So what am I supposed to do? Promise you we’ll live
happily ever? Otherwise I’m history? It doesn’t work like
that.
YVONNE
I know exactly how it works. I’ve seen it before. And I
don’t want to go there again.
DAVY
You’re panicking cause things are getting serious. You’re
looking for a way out cause the idea frightens you!
YVONNE
What frightens me is the thought of throwing away my
last chance on something that falls apart!
DAVY
But it’s a chance you have to take! There’s no guarantees.
No insurance policies. Its just a leap of faith.
YVONNE
Alright, fine! So tell me I’m wrong, Davy. Tell me you’d
take that leap. Tell me you’d come with me.
DAVY
Or what? That’s us finished?
YVONNE
It’s not an ultimatum.
DAVY
Isn’t it?
YVONNE
Just answer the question!
DAVY
No!
102
A beat. YVONNE turns away she doesn’t look back. She leaves. DAVY is alone on
the hill.
32. DECISIONS
Hospital. JEAN is packing up RAB’s stuff. He is in a wheelchair by his bed. He is
dressed and grumbling about the chair.
RAB
What do I need the wheelchair for?
JEAN
It’s the rules.
RAB
But if they think I’m too ill too walk, then why are they
discharging me?
JEAN
Maybe they just want shot of ye. Who can blame them!
You’re nothing but trouble.
RAB is thoughtful.
RAB
Jean, I want to ask you something.
JEAN
What?
RAB
When we get home … am I going back on the couch?
JEAN has considered this.
JEAN
The way I see it, you’re the one who broke your vows,
you’re the one who has to deal with it. I don’t see why I
should have to pay for your mistake. I’m not going to
pretend it didn’t happen. I’m not going to pretend I’m not
angry about it. But I’ll live with it. And I’ll live with you.
You’re just going to have to find a way to live with
yourself.
RAB nods. He’s been listening carefully.
RAB
Fair enough.
103
JEAN
Yer damn right it’s fair enough. Hazel says she would’ve
done a John Wayne Bobbitt on ye.
RAB
I’m not married to Hazel. I’m married to you.
JEAN
Aye. And don’t you forget it.
RAB
There’s something else you should know. In all these
years … I’ve never regretted that. Not once.
JEAN has waited to hear this.
JEAN
Course you haven’t … you and Hazel would never have
worked.
RAB
That’s not what I meant.
JEAN
I know what ye meant.
RAB
It’s not clever you know, winding up a man in ma
condition.
JEAN
Naw, but it’s funny!
RAB tries not to smile but can’t help himself. JEAN sees it. A little moment. DAVY
enters.
JEAN
Ah, right, there ye are. Good. You wait here wi Ironside
fur a minute. I want to go speak tae the nurses then we’ll
take him down and get him intae a taxi.
DAVY nods. JEAN kisses RAB then exits. DAVY has noted the kiss.
RAB
What?
DAVY
Have you two sorted it out then?
RAB is awkward.
104
RAB
Aye. It’s sorted.
DAVY
Great. We can all use the couch again now.
RAB
You can scoff, pal, but just you wait a few years. Then
it’ll be your turn.
DAVY awkward now.
DAVY
Aye. Well.
RAB
What’s up wi you?
DAVY
Nothing. Disnae matter. How did ye manage tae patch it
up wi ma maw, then? What did it take?
RAB
Thirty years o marriage.
DAVY
Dinnae be daft. What did ye do? How did ye prove that
ye loved her?
RAB
Now who’s being daft? How can ye prove ye love
somebody?
DAVY
Rab Henshaw, last of the great romantics.
RAB
Listen, love’s just the candles on the cake. It gies aff a bit
o heat and makes yer eyes sparkle - but ye canny eat it.
Look at Liz and Ally. What good did it dae them?
DAVY
Mibbe they just didnae love each other enough?
RAB
‘Enough’? And how would ye know what was ‘enough’?
Folk are always asking ‘how much dae ye love me’ but
it’s completely the wrong question!
105
DAVY
So what’s the right question then, Einstein?
RAB
Easy. ‘Dae ye want tae make this work?’ That’s what ye
ask. That’s the clincher. That’s what ye really need tae
know.
Pause. DAVY is thinking. RAB is pleased to have won the argument.
RAB
See. No just a pretty face, am ah?
Beat.
RAB
Are you even listening?
DAVY moves to leave.
RAB
Hey! Where are ye going?
DAVY
Got tae go see somebody.
RAB
What aboot ma taxi?
DAVY stops, comes back, grabs the wheelchair and wheechs RAB off – a little too fast
for his liking.
33. FINALE
YVONNE on her ward. DAVY enters looking for her. She turns and spots him,
surprised.
YVONNE
What do you want?
DAVY
I need to ask you a question.
YVONNE
I’m on duty.
DAVY
I need to know something.
YVONNE
106
We can do this later.
DAVY
It won’t take long.
YVONNE
This isn’t the time for -
DAVY
Do you want to make this work? You and me, I mean. Do
you want to make it work or not?
YVONNE
Davy …
DAVY
Cause you’re right. We’re old enough to know where we
stand. And old enough to walk away if it’s not what we
want.
YVONNE
Yeah. Well. I think we’ve established that. Haven’t we.
DAVY
I don’t know how it’ll work out, Yvonne. But if you’re
not ready to take that chance …
YVONNE
Me? What d’you mean if I’m not ready?
DAVY
So you are ready then?
YVONNE
No.
DAVY
But you just said …?
YVONNE
I meant, I was ready.
DAVY
But I thought you were looking for an excuse to end it.
YVONNE
I was looking for a reason to go on.
DAVY
107
Well, why didn’t you say that?
YVONNE
I did. I asked you. You said no.
DAVY
But that wasn’t the question, was it. Was it? Look. Ask
me again. But keep it simple this time.
YVONNE
It’s this place, Davy. Your family. Your home. It’s so
important to you. I understand that. I understand it
completely. But I don’t know where I fit in. I don’t know
if there’s room in there for me.
She touches his heart.
DAVY
Of course there is. Don’t you get it. You’re a part of all
that now.
YVONNE
But what happens if I had to go away - if you had to
choose? I don’t want to be the part that loses you.
DAVY
Well, tell me, honestly, do you want to make this work?
YVONNE
Are you kidding me? D’you really think I’d be standing
here if I didn’t want to make it work?
DAVY
Is that a yes, then?
YVONNE
Yes!!
A long pause. Davy grins at her, relieved – but he’s forgotten something.
YVONNE
And? So …..?!
DAVY
Oh. Right. So, if you have to go back to England, I’ll
come with you.
YVONNE
108
Seriously?
DAVY
Seriously. I don’t mind.
She kisses him.
DAVY
Okay, that’s not true, I do mind - but I’d still come!
She kisses him again.
DAVY
It’s just … It’s the future, isn’t it. We don’t know what’s
gonnae happen. We don’t know anything really.
YVONNE
We do now. We know everything we need to.
She starts on 500 Miles slowly and tenderly.
38a. 500 MILES

YVONNE
When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the one who wakes up next to you
When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who goes along with you
DAVY
If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver, hey I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
Switch of focus to RAB and JEAN arriving back home. RAB on JEAN’s arm.
JEAN
If I'm working, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who's working hard for you
And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
RAB
When I come home, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who comes back home to you
JEAN + RAB
And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be
109
I'm gonna be the one who's growing old with you
The mood switches abruptly as ALLY appears in his desert combat gear again. At the
same time, LIZ enters in her US nurses’s uniform. ALLY is mournful. He sings to an
unaware LIZ.
ALLY
When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who's lonely without you
And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time I had with you
LIZ sings. She is homesick.
LIZ
When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who’s thinking about you
And when I come home, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who comes back home to you
I'm gonna be the one who's coming home to you
A Piper. The mood moves from melancholy to quiet resolve to defiant.
ALL
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door
The CHORUS begin to emerge and build the volume.
ALL
Dah ra ra Dah
Dah ra ra Dah
Dah ra Run dah dah dah
Dah Dah Run dah dah Dun dah dah
Dah ra ra Dah
Dah ra ra Dah
Entire COMPANY (plus three-legged dog) onstage now.
ALL
And I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
110
Just to be the one who walked a thousand miles

To fall down at your door
Dah ra ra Dah
Dah ra ra Dah
Dah ra ra Dah
Dah ra ra Dah
Vamp Repeat as necessary to …
THE END
111

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SUNSHINE ON LEITH

Featuring the Songs of

SECOND PRODUCTION VERSION

Louder now and at tempo.

It could be tomorrow, or it could be today

It could be tomorrow and it could be today

When the sky takes the soul

It could be tomorrow, could be today

DAVY signals to an oncoming vehicle to stop.

SARGE realises the approaching vehicle is not going to stop.

They raise their rifles.

DAVY is looking around.

2a. WAVERLEY STATION

I'm on my way to what I want from this world

ALLY laughs. DAVY is beginning to cheer up.

We took the road that brought us to our home town

I’ll climb the stairs that lead me to her front door

They are passing an Al Jolson busker.

To keep my feet from jumping from the ground dear

Everyone in the street scene joins the chorus.

Robbie’s! I bought ma first condom in there.

We’re on our way to what we want from this world

And now that I don't want for anything

We’re on our way from misery to happiness today

DAVY nods agreement. They both have the same idea.

JEAN sighs but fishes in her purse for the money.

JEAN hands LIZ the money.

RAB snatches it back.

JEAN takes it from RAB.

RAB takes it back.

LIZ grabs it back off RAB.

DAVY and ALLY enter. LIZ spots them first.

JEAN rushes to hug DAVY.

But you’re not supposed to be here till tomorrow?

ALLY looks at LIZ – realises she’s got her coat on.

JEAN goes to ALLY. LIZ to DAVY.

She kisses him.

He kisses her again.

That’s ma bus. Gotta go. See you later.

5. FATHER AND SON

RAB is silent. DAVY picks up his bag and heads off.

LIZ checks the days notices on the notice board.

YVONNE exits. LIZ pursues her.

ALLY and DAVY exit into the pub.

8. THE CANNY MAN’S

YVONNE and LIZ enter.

YVONNE and LIZ take their seats.

The others join the chorus.

Laughter. He kisses a blushing LIZ.

The music stops.

YVONNE nods. DAVY looks YVONNE in the eye. Empathy.

YVONNE smiles, grateful for the understanding.

Building back to a volume.

IT's over, IT’s over, It’s over and done with.

It's over. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over.

Time gentlemen please!

Love it. Wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

Well … fell in love.

YVONNE notes his embarrassment and smiles.

DAVY realises he’s been caught out.

DAVY takes this as the compliment it is.

YVONNE laughs. DAVY starts into Misty Blue.

When the singer solemn was a bonnie laddie