Our Sexuality 12th Edition Crooks Test Bank

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Chapter 7—Love and Communication in Intimate Relationships
MULTIPLE CHOICE
1. Love
a. is a special kind of attitude.
b. has strong emotional and behavioral components.
c. is a phenomenon that eludes easy definition or explanation.
d. is all of the above.
ANS: D REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01
MSC: TYPE: Factual
2. Rubin’s love scale revealed that “strong lovers”

a. made more eye contact with each other than weak lovers.
b. held hands more than weak lovers.
c. made more suggestive remarks to each other than weak lovers.
d. laughed together more than weak lovers.
ANS: A REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01
MSC: TYPE: Factual
3. One possible explanation offered for the increase in research related to love is that
a. major universities have allocated more funds for research in this area.
b. an increasing number of therapists have demanded it.
c. an increasing number of social psychologists have begun to study love.
d. we are concerned about the increase in cohabitation.
ANS: C REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01
MSC: TYPE: Application
4. Philia refers to
a. a passionate sexual relationship.
b. a concern for the other’s well-being.
c. unrequited love.
d. the love between parent and child.
ANS: B REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-01
MSC: TYPE: Factual
5. Passionate love typically occurs

a. early in a relationship.
b. in the middle of a relationship.
c. at the end of a relationship.
d. throughout a relationship.
ANS: A REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-01
MSC: TYPE: Factual
6. Love that involves a thoughtful appreciation of one’s partner and encompassing tolerance for another’s
shortcomings is referred to as
a. infatuation.
b. passionate.
c. companionate.
d. intimacy.
ANS: C REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-01
MSC: TYPE: Factual
7. Which of the following would be LEAST likely to appear on a scale measuring passionate love?
a. “I think about ____ all the time; I just can’t seem to get enough of him (her).”
b. “I get extremely depressed when things don’t go well in my relationship.”
c. “We have so many interests and activities in common.”
d. “No one could love ____ like I do.”
8. Generalized physiological arousal and strong sexual desire are components of

a. compassionate love.
b. companionate love.
c. paraphilic love.
d. passionate love.
ANS: D REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-02
MSC: TYPE: Factual
9. Which of the following is TRUE?

a. Passionate love is less intense than companionate love.
b. Companionate love generally fades over time.
c. Companionate love tends to be emotionally less intense than passionate love.
d. Women are more likely to experience companionate love than men.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
10. Jason and Joan have known each other since elementary school. They’ve been close friends since high
school. Recently, they started dating and are now making plans to marry. Which of the following best
describes their relationship?
a. It is likely to fail, because once they have sex, it will ruin their friendship.
b. Their relationship began with passion, and their feelings have developed into
companionate love.
c. Jason and Joan are deceiving themselves as they are not likely to be able to sustain the
passion necessary for a marriage.
d. Their relationship began as one of companionship and has developed into one involving
passion as well.
11. Extreme absorption and strong physiological arousal in response to another person defines
a. companionate love.
b. passionate love.
c. agape.
d. practical love.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
12. Which of the following is LEAST characteristic of passionate love?

a. Generalized physiological arousal
b. Usually occurs early in a relationship
c. Friendly affection and a deep attachment based on familiarity
d. Usually does not last long
MSC: TYPE: Factual
13. For Sternberg, intimacy

a. refers to a relationship with a sexual component.
b. is essential in any kind of relationship that we call love.
c. involves emotional closeness and sharing private thoughts and feelings.
d. is the behavioral component of his triangular theory.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
14. The way we feel toward casual acquaintances is what Sternberg refers to as
a. empty love.
b. nonlove.
c. fatuous love.
d. consummate love.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
15. Elonda and Zach met on a Caribbean cruise, fell madly in love with each other, and are making plans
to get married within three months. According to Sternberg, the type of love they are experiencing is
a. fatuous love.
b. romantic love.
c. infatuation.
d. companionate love.
16. The physical chemistry that existed when Linh and Bryan met was overwhelming for both of them.
They enjoy the sexual energy in their relationship and are becoming more intimate. Neither one is
discussing long-term plans or commitments, as they both wish to pursue their education and careers.
Sternberg would characterize their love experience as
a. infatuation.
b. fatuous love.
c. empty love.
d. romantic love.
17. According to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, ____ declines in a relationship, whereas ____
builds gradually over time.
a. passion; intimacy
b. infatuation; philia
c. passion; philia
d. fatuous love; companionate love
MSC: TYPE: Factual
18. Toni and Jodie have lived together for many years and enjoy an intimate, committed relationship with
one another, although their relationship is no longer the priority it once was. Sternberg would
characterize this type of love as
a. non-love.
b. consummate love.
c. companionate love.
d. friendship love.
19. The love style in which all three components of passion, intimacy, and commitment are present is
called
a. romantic love.
b. consummate love.
c. ideal love.
d. complete love.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
20. Chantarra and Eli met while vacationing in Mexico. Their physical attraction was immediate. They
made a commitment to carry on a long-distance relationship. They will see one another very
infrequently. Sternberg would characterize their love as
a. romantic.
b. infatuation.
c. fatuous.
d. consummate.
21. According to one study of dating couples, which of the following love components were predictive of
relationship stability and longevity?
a. Intimacy only
b. Intimacy and commitment
c. Passion and commitment
d. Passion and intimacy
MSC: TYPE: Factual
22. The three components of Sternberg’s theory of love are

a. friendship, trust, and intimacy.
b. passion, intimacy, and commitment.
c. caring, inclusion, and commitment.
d. passion, friendship, and trust.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
23. According to John Allan Lee, an altruistic love style is characterized by

a. having a good time, but with no commitment.
b. taking a rational, practical approach to compatibility.
c. selfless, giving love with no expectation of reciprocity.
d. placing emphasis on physical attractiveness to the exclusion of other qualities.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
24. John Allan Lee believes that, in order to maximize satisfaction and success in a relationship, you
should find a partner who
a. would score similarly on Rubin’s love scale.
b. is high on ludus.
c. has interests and values that would contradict yours.
d. would share your same approach to loving.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
25. Ever since Thach met his new girlfriend at school, he feels that his life is like a roller coaster. He can’t
stop thinking about Anh and feels intensely jealous whenever he sees her talking to any other men.
According to Lee, Thach’s style of loving is
a. romantic love.
b. altruistic love.
c. possessive love.
d. game-playing love.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
26. Given the reasons discussed in the text for why people fall in love with whom they do, a romance
would be most likely to develop in all of the following situations EXCEPT
a. they were both very attracted to one another physically.
b. she likes to dance and attend parties; he enjoys spectator sports and refurbishing classic
cars.
c. he was flattered by her interest in and attraction to him, and as a result, he found himself
wanting to spend more time with her.
d. she likes to kayak, snow ski, and hike; he enjoys river rafting and snow skiing.
ANS: B REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?
OBJ: 07-05 MSC: TYPE: Application
27. According to Buss’s cross-cultural study on sex differences in partner preferences, men placed more
value on ____, and women placed more value on ____.
a. attractiveness and financial prospects; attractiveness and intelligence
b. youth and attractiveness; financial responsibility and dependability
c. chastity and intelligence; attractiveness and sociability
d. youth and good character; financial responsibility and chastity
OBJ: 07-05 MSC: TYPE: Factual
28. Which of the following is NOT true concerning the role of physical attractiveness in mate selection?
a. It may be important to men because it is an indicator of good health and reproductive
value.
b. It is the highest priority for men in both early and long-term stages of a relationship.
c. Sociobiology theory has been used to explain the importance for men of physical
attractiveness.
d. Men in all cultures surveyed have placed greater emphasis on attractiveness than women.
29. Recent research suggests that the use of hormonal contraceptives may
a. reduce women’s attractiveness to potential love/sex partners.
b. increase women’s attractiveness to potential love/sex partners.
c. produce amphetamine-like effects, such as euphoria, giddiness, and elation.
d. produce a sense of security, tranquility, and peace.
ANS: A REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?
OBJ: 07-05 MSC: TYPE: Factual NOT: NEW
30. The continued progression from infatuation to the deep attachment characteristic of long-term loving
relationships results, at least in part, from the brain gradually stepping up the production of
a. endorphins.
b. norepinephrine.
c. PEA.
d. dopamine.
ANS: A REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?
31. The euphoric intensity associated with passionate love may be due, at least in part, to
a. release of pheromones.
b. testosterone surge from the adrenal glands.
c. neurotransmitters called endorphins.
d. neurotransmitters such as PEA and norepinephrine.
ANS: D REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?
32. The neurotransmitters that are partially responsible for the “high” that is associated with passionate
love are chemically similar to
a. morphine.
b. amphetamines.
c. antidepressants.
d. psychedelic drugs.
33. Some researchers liken the pain, anxiety, and despair that follows the break-up of a relationship to
a. the increase in norepinephrine.
b. a lack of sexual intimacy.
c. alcoholism.
d. the withdrawal from amphetamines.
ANS: D REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?
34. When we are repeatedly exposed to a person who lives or works near us, we tend to find that person
more appealing. This is called
a. the equidistant effect.
b. reciprocity.
c. the mere exposure effect.
d. the proximal relationship effect.
ANS: C REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?
35. Which of the following would be LEAST likely to explain why we are attracted to particular
individuals?
a. Proximity
b. Opposites attract
c. Physical attractiveness
d. Brain chemistry
36. Which of the following is TRUE of the research done by Sprecher, Sullivan, and Hatfield?
a. Men are less willing to marry a partner who is not likely to hold a steady job than women.
b. Women are less likely than men to marry a partner who already has children.
c. Women are more likely than men to marry a partner who is five or more years older than
themselves.
d. Neither women nor men are willing to marry someone who has been married before.
37. In which of the following areas did the studies by Sprecher, Quintin, et al. show the LEAST
differences in mate selection between men and women?
a. The ability to hold a steady job and age difference
b. Having been married before and education level
c. Prior marriages, religion, and already having children
d. Age, physical attractiveness, and moral beliefs
38. The theory that evolution has biased mate preferences in humans as it has in other animals exemplifies
the
a. cross-cultural theory of attraction.
b. sociobiological theory of mate selection.
c. the sociopsychological theory of mate selection.
d. the evolutionary theory of mate selection.
39. Which of the following statements is TRUE?

a. Paired couples are often similar in their styles of attachment.
b. Slightly less than half of U.S. adults are securely attached.
c. About 60% of U.S. adults are insecurely attached.
d. Paired couples are often dissimilar in their styles of attachment.
ANS: A REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
MSC: TYPE: Factual
40. Micah wants to be close to others but believes that others don’t want to be close to him. Micah
displays
a. avoidant attachment.
b. anxious-ambivalent attachment.
c. avoidant-ambivalent attachment.
d. anxious attachment.
ANS: B REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
41. Relationships of anxious-ambivalent adults are characterized by
a. rollercoaster emotional shifts and obsessive sexual attraction and jealousy.
b. fear of intimacy.
c. satisfaction, trust, and reciprocal emotional support.
d. the belief that love is only transitory.
MSC: TYPE: Factual NOT: NEW
42. In the Strange Situation studies done by Mary Ainsworth, she discovered that infants who were
securely attached
a. would use their mothers as a safe base while exploring their new environment.
b. would explore their new environment, but only if their mothers held them.
c. would go to the researcher and ignore their mothers.
d. showed extreme separation anxiety when their mothers left the room.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
43. Children who display insecure attachments might be categorized as either

a. anxious-ambivalent or secure-insecure.
b. secure-insecure or avoidant.
c. avoidant or anxious ambivalent.
d. attached or detached.
ANS: C REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
MSC: TYPE: Factual
44. In terms of forming adult relationships, which of the following individuals is LIKELY to have issues
with trusting or depending on a partner?
a. Susan, who is securely attached
b. John, who is securely attached
c. Mary, who displays an anxious-ambivalent attachment style
d. Robert, who displays an avoidant attachment style
ANS: D REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
45. Avoidant adults generally want

a. others close to them.
b. to be close to others but believe that others may not want to be close to them.
c. less closeness than their partners seem to desire.
d. to merge completely and be engulfed by partner.
ANS: C REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
46. For which of the following relationships would an individual involved be MOST likely to separate sex
and love?
a. A lesbian pair
b. A gay male pair
c. A cohabiting heterosexual couple
d. A married heterosexual couple
ANS: B REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08
MSC: TYPE: Factual
47. To better understand the role that sex and relationships play in your life, which of the following would
you be the LEAST likely to ask?
a. “How comfortable am I with some of the contemporary approaches to sex and
relationships?”
b. “Which of the more traditional norms do I value?”
c. “How can I alter my values to be more in harmony with my partner’s?”
d. “Where do my sexual values come from -- family, church, etc.?”
ANS: C REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08
MSC: TYPE: Factual
48. When summarizing research over the past two decades, which of the following BEST describes the
attitudes that men and women have about the relationship between love and sex?
a. Men are more likely than women to want sex frequently at the beginning of the
relationship, but then quickly lose interest.
b. Women are more likely than men to associate sex with love.
c. Men are more likely than women to define being in love, and to assess the quality of the
romantic involvement, in terms of sexual satisfaction.
d. Men and women are growing further apart in their thinking about sex and love.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
49. Which of the following BEST exemplifies a difference between gay men and lesbian women regarding
love and sex?
a. Gay men have relationships that tend to be transient and brief, while lesbian women are
more likely to have long-term relationships.
b. Some gay men may value sex as an end in itself, while lesbian women are socialized, as
are most women, that casual sex is more permissible for males than for females.
c. Lesbian women are more likely to engage in casual sex without love than are gay men.
d. Gay men and lesbian women have different ideas about how long a couple should wait
before engaging in sex.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
50. Sexual interaction between friends who do not define their relationship as romantic is termed
a. fatuous love.
b. mania.
c. hook-ups.
d. “friends with benefits” relationships.
ANS: D REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08
51. Short-term, loveless sexual liaisons that occur during a brief interval are known as
a. storges.
b. hook-ups.
c. face-to-face (FTF) interactions.
d. agapes.
52. Which of the following statements concerning jealousy is FALSE?
a. Jealousy is usually defined as an aversive emotional reaction.
b. Many people think that jealousy is a measure of devotion.
c. Some believe that jealousy is related more to people’s fear of losing what they want to
possess than it is to love.
d. Jealous people are rarely able to change their attitudes or behavior.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
53. Research reveals that violence precipitated by jealousy is MOST commonly directed toward
a. one’s self.
b. one’s partner or lover.
c. the third-party rival.
d. anyone or anything within range.
MSC: TYPE: Factual
54. According to Robert Barker, which of the following would NOT motivate a person to work on his or
her jealousy?
a. If the person is assured that the problem comes from the relationship rather than defects in
his or her character
b. If the person is able to empathize with the person who has been hurt by the jealous
behavior
c. If the person is sure that the relationship is threatened
d. If the person is not provoked into feeling shame or guilt
55. Which of the following is LEAST likely to be one of the traits possessed by people prone to jealousy?
a. Having low self-esteem
b. Seeing a large discrepancy between who they are and who they would like to be
c. Placing a high value on wealth, fame, popularity, and attractiveness
d. Growing up in a single-parent family
MSC: TYPE: Factual
56. In the survey of 300 happily married couples, all of the following were frequent reasons given for the
success of the marriage EXCEPT that
a. my partner is my best friend.
b. marriage is a long-term commitment.
c. my partner has grown more interesting over time.
d. our sexual intimacy is the best it has ever been.
ANS: D REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
57. Which one of the following was NOT found to be characteristic of long-term successful marriages?
a. The parents of both had happy marriages.
b. The couple had at least one child.
c. There was an adequate and steady income.
d. They had similar attitudes and personality styles.
ANS: B REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
58. A lasting love relationship

a. is facilitated by avoiding conflict.
b. requires frequent positive interaction.
c. is probably easier today than in the past.
d. won’t happen if you are aware of your partner’s flaws.
ANS: B REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
59. If your partner says, “You don’t love me anymore,” it is LIKELY that you
a. are being dysfunctional in the relationship.
b. don’t love your partner anymore.
c. are not doing the little things that you used to do to show that you care for your partner.
d. should think about relationship counseling.
ANS: C REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
60. Which of the following is NOT a finding from the research done by David Schmitt on sexual variety?
a. Men possess a greater desire than women do for a variety of sexual partners.
b. Consistent results were found across many different cultures.
c. Men tend to more actively seek short-term mateships.
d. Women require less time to elapse than men before consenting to intercourse.
ANS: D REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication
61. According to the authors, couples should be having sex ____ in order to maintain intimacy.
a. at least twice a week
b. at least one every two weeks
c. at least once a month
d. as often as they like
ANS: D REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
62. Which of the following is LEAST likely to be a suggestion for maintaining sexual variety?
a. Sharing fantasies
b. Avoiding the routine of time and place
c. Making your partner just a little jealous
d. Planning for intimate time
ANS: C REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
63. Which of the following was NOT discussed in your text regarding sexual variety?
a. Sexual variety is essential for a quality long-term relationship.
b. Communication is an important aspect of sexual variety.
c. Planning for sexual time can help maintain closeness.
d. Reading books together on sexual techniques may enhance sexual relationships.
ANS: A REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction
64. Which of the following is the BEST example of mutual empathy?

a. A woman assures her partner that, in spite of the sexual difficulties he is having, she loves
him no matter what.
b. A woman initiates sex with a man she has been dating, and he responds with enthusiasm.
c. Despite a crisis in their marriage, a couple enters into therapy with the knowledge that
they both care for each other and are committed to the relationship.
d. A man lets his partner know that it excites him when she is sexually aggressive.
ANS: C REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication
65. The knowledge that each partner in a relationship cares for the other and knows the care is
reciprocated is called
a. reciprocal rapport.
b. mutual empathy.
c. inclusion.
d. unconditional positive regard.
ANS: B REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication
66. Obstacles to effective communication about sex include

a. anxiety.
b. lack of a suitable language for sex.
c. differences in intimate communication ability.
d. all of the above.
ANS: D REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-13
MSC: TYPE: Factual
67. In an effort to get her partner to begin talking more openly about sex, Sharon asks questions about how
she learned about sex at home and at school, how nudity and physical affection were dealt with at
home, etc. She also shares information concerning herself. She is using the “getting started talking”
strategy of
a. reciprocal self-disclosure.
b. unconditional positive regard.
c. sharing sexual histories.
d. mutual empathy.
ANS: C REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14
68. The authors discuss several strategies for getting started talking about sex: talking about why it is
difficult to talk; sharing sexual histories; and
a. reading articles and books about the subject.
b. appraising the nonverbal behavior of your partner before talking.
c. discreetly getting as much information from your partner about the subject prior to the
discussion itself.
d. using a good balance of “I” and “you” statements as you initiate discussion.
ANS: A REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14
69. Nathan tells his partner that he is afraid to discuss their sexual relationship out of fear of embarrassing
or hurting his partner. Nathan is using the communication strategy of
a. talking about talking.
b. mutual empathy.
c. sharing sexual histories.
d. paraphrasing.
ANS: A REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14
70. “Being on this medication has affected my interest in sex. I still love you and am attracted to you, but I
just haven’t been that interested in sex lately.” Which of the following expresses unconditional
positive regard in response to this comment?
a. “I appreciate you letting me know what is going on. Have you considered trying a
different medication?”
b. “Yes, I know you haven’t been that interested lately. Perhaps we should get some
counseling.”
c. “I’m disappointed too that we aren’t having sex that often, but you know that I still love
you very much and am very committed to our relationship.”
d. “I think you’ve been working too much, too. Why don’t we get away together for the
weekend?”
ANS: C REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15
71. Which of the following is NOT a listening and feedback skill?

a. Self-disclosure
b. Expressing unconditional positive regard
c. Maintaining eye contact
d. Paraphrasing
ANS: A REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15
MSC: TYPE: Factual
72. People who respond to conversation by staring into space, perhaps murmuring an “uh-huh” now and
then, are called ____; people who respond by making brief comments, asking questions, and changing
their facial expressions are called ____.
a. paraphrasers; validators
b. validators; paraphrasers
c. active listeners; passive listeners
d. passive listeners; active listeners
ANS: D REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15
MSC: TYPE: Factual
73. When we value our partners regardless of what they say or do, we are
a. expressing mutual empathy.
b. using paraphrasing.
c. expressing unconditional positive regard.
d. practicing self-disclosure.
ANS: C REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15
MSC: TYPE: Factual
74. Which of the following is NOT discussed as a way to discover your partner’s needs?
a. Asking questions
b. Self-disclosure
c. Comparing notes
d. Using “I” language
ANS: D REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16
MSC: TYPE: Factual
75. Which of the following is the BEST example of self-disclosure?

a. “I’ve been having this fantasy that we would both go out to the same bar but pretend that
we didn’t know each other. Then I would pick you up, bring you home, and seduce you.
What do you think about that?”
b. “I realize that you are not real comfortable taking the initiative sexually, but I just want
you to know that I find that very exciting, so anytime you want to experiment would be
just fine with me.”
c. “Would you prefer to make love in the back seat of the car or in that phone booth?”
d. “How would you feel about going nude sunbathing together?”
ANS: A REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16
76. “Would you prefer to be on top tonight?” is an example of a(n) ____ question.
a. yes-no
b. either-or
c. open-ended
d. passive
ANS: A REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16
77. When asking for what you want from a partner, it is BEST if you
a. are very specific about what you would like.
b. ask in the form of a yes-no question in order to get a definitive response.
c. practice “you” language while making your request.
d. be somewhat general in your request to avoid putting your partner on the defensive.
ANS: A REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-16
MSC: TYPE: Factual
78. Four important components of nonverbal sexual communication: facial expressions, interpersonal
distance, touching, and
a. taste.
b. sounds.
c. smell.
d. hearing.
ANS: B REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-16
79. When someone attempts to decrease interpersonal distance, it is generally interpreted as

a. telling our partners that, given their point of view, we can understand why they think or
feel the way they do.
b. a nonverbal sign that she or he is attracted to the other person or would like more intimate
contact.
c. a lack of interest.
d. a gentle kind of rejection.
ANS: B REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-16
80. Which one is TRUE with respect to the sharing of sexual fantasies?
a. This activity is unhealthy.
b. Some people find this exciting and informative.
c. This is fine as long as it involves only movie stars and not animals.
d. Committed couples should be able to comfortably share fantasies about other lovers.
ANS: B REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16
MSC: TYPE: Factual
81. When you reassure your partner and encourage him or her to talk about specific needs or feelings, you
are using the communication skill called
a. unconditional positive regard.
b. giving permission.
c. mutual empathy.
d. active listening.
ANS: B REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16
MSC: TYPE: Factual
82. Asking a “why” question

a. lets the other person respond in a more open-ended way.
b. gleans more information regarding the subject at hand.
c. puts the other person on the defensive.
d. makes the other person feel like he or she is being judged.
ANS: C REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints
83. Your partner is upset because you rarely initiate sexual interaction. According to the text, which of the
following responses would be LEAST effective?
a. “You’re right, I haven’t taken the initiative. I’m uncomfortable being that aggressive.”
b. “So you’re tired of being the one who is always pursuing me, is that right?”
c. “I would love to initiate if you wouldn’t be after me all the time so I could have a chance
to work up an appetite!”
d. “I know it must be frustrating for you that my sexual desire isn’t as strong as yours.”
84. Which of the following suggestions outlined in the text is the BEST closure to receiving criticism?
a. Compare notes on the conversation.
b. Discuss any negative feelings you might have.
c. Establish mutual empathy.
d. Focus on future changes the two of you can make.
ANS: D REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints
85. Receiving a criticism in a way that can strengthen the relationship begins with
a. defending your position.
b. empathizing with your partner’s concern.
c. immediately venting your feelings of frustration.
d. withdrawing so that your and your partner can calm down and resume discussion later.
ANS: B REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints
86. A verbal statement of a complaint to your partner

a. is perhaps best raised after they have just criticized you.
b. should always be made if something really annoys you.
c. should be done because a change can make the relationship better.
d. is not a good idea until after you are married.
87. With respect to saying “no” in relationships,

a. if we are really committed, and it is not a moral or legal issue, then we should comply
although we really don’t want to.
b. we should avoid this because the other person may feel hurt.
c. this is usually easier with people we care about as compared to mere acquaintances.
d. we should have a strategy in mind for doing this.
ANS: D REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-17 MSC: TYPE: Factual
88. Which of the following is NOT an example of a response according to the three-step approach to
saying “no” outlined in your text?
a. “I’m flattered that you find me interesting.”
b. “No, I never see students, even former ones, socially.”
c. “I’m not interested in making love tonight, but what about tomorrow morning?”
d. “I’m sorry I can’t have coffee with you, but I’ve promised my boyfriend that I won’t see
anyone else.”
ANS: D REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-17 MSC: TYPE: Factual
89. One recent study of young couples in committed relationships found that nonverbal initiation of sexual
activity was
a. less influential than verbal initiations.
b. more influential than verbal initiations.
c. less common than verbal initiations.
d. more common than verbal initiations.
ANS: D REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-17
90. If you wanted to improve your communication within a relationship, which of the following would be
MOST helpful?
a. Keep the focus of the conversation general; avoid discussion of specifics.
b. When giving feedback, focus on aspects of the person’s character rather than on his or her
behavior.
c. Use “I” language in order to avoid blaming the other person.
d. Demonstrate conditional positive regard.
ANS: C REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17
MSC: TYPE: Factual
91. Which of the following attitudes is associated with taking responsibility for your own pleasure?
a. “We’ve been together for two years, and he usually knows what I want by now.”
b. “I’ll make sure that you are always sexually satisfied.”
c. “If you really loved me, you would be able to satisfy me sexually.”
d. “I know that I’m unable to orgasm consistently, but it’s not your fault.”
ANS: D REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17
92. In reference to the discussion on how to ask for what you want, which of the following requests would
MOST likely be understood?
a. “I would like you to be more affectionate.”
b. “I would like our intimate time to be sensual as well as sexual.”
c. “I would like you to hold my hand or put your arm around me when we are out together.”
d. “I would like you to touch me more when we make love.”
ANS: C REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17
MSC: TYPE: Factual
93. When raising a concern or criticism with your partner,

a. it is really important to make sure that you follow through on a discussion as soon as the
problem is raised.
b. if your partner doesn’t want to talk about it, then you should probably drop it.
c. if your partner prefers some delay, agree to a later specific time.
d. both of you should have several drinks first so you’ll feel more relaxed.
94. Which of the following is NOT discussed in your text as a strategy for delivering criticism?
a. Use “why” questions to understand the person’s motivation.
b. Combine praise with criticism.
c. Express anger appropriately.
d. Nurture small steps toward change.
ANS: A REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints
95. Jonas tells Shenan that he is not interested in a romantic relationship with her, but he then invites her
to watch a movie with him while lying on his waterbed with an arm around her. This is an example of
a. one of the stages of saying “no.”
b. a mixed message.
c. nonverbal validation.
d. implicit criticism.
ANS: B REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-18 MSC: TYPE: Application
96. If you are the recipient of mixed messages, it is probably BEST to

a. respond to the first message.
b. respond to the second message.
c. discuss your confusion with your partner in hopes that he or she will clarify his or her
intentions.
d. assertively state that you feel you are being manipulated.
ANS: C REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-18 MSC: TYPE: Factual
97. According to John Gottman, couples who have been together for more than three years express more
relationship satisfaction
a. if they never argue.
b. if they settle their arguments by having sex.
c. if they use conflict as a means of identifying problems within the relationship and then
find ways to resolve them.
d. if they argue frequently.
ANS: C REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships
98. Validating involves

a. taking the form of self-protective responses.
b. limiting our comments to information relevant to the issue at hand.
c. stating our thoughts and feelings clearly, simply, and honestly—preferably while using “I”
language.
d. telling our partners that, given their point of view, we can understand why they think or
feel the way they do.
ANS: D REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships
99. Ralph has just been approached by his wife, Rachel. She has been critical of his lovemaking, and has
brought up the subject again right after dinner. Ralph begins making excuses and denying the
problems. Which of the following BEST describes what’s happening?
a. Rachel’s approach to the problem is appropriate, but Ralph is stonewalling.
b. Rachel’s approach to the problem is inappropriate, and Ralph is being defensive.
c. Ralph’s response to Rachel is inappropriate as Rachel has done nothing wrong.
d. Rachel’s approach to the problem is inappropriate, and Ralph is responding with
contempt.
ANS: B REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships
100. Stonewalling occurs when

a. one challenges a partner’s right to influence patterns of interaction in the relationship.
b. one partner attacks and the other defends and counterattacks.
c. a person concludes that any response to a partner’s criticism or complaint will not be
helpful or productive and therefore decides not to respond at all.
d. communication is degraded to an even more intense level of negativity by adding insults,
sarcasm, and even name-calling to the critical commentary.
ANS: C REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships
TRUE/FALSE
1. Zick Rubin’s research revealed that strong lovers made more eye contact than weak lovers did.
ANS: T REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01
2. Facial expressions, interpersonal distance, touching, and sounds can convey all our complex needs and
emotions in a close relationship.
ANS: F REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-03

NOT: NEW
3. People with a companionate love style are slow to develop affection and commitment.
ANS: T REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-04
4. People with an altruistic love style are seen as being selfish and uncaring.
ANS: F REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-04
5. Neurotransmitters are produced by the endocrine system when we experience feelings of love.
ANS: F REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?

OBJ: 07-05
6. Decreased interpersonal space often indicates attraction and perhaps a desire for more intimate contact.
ANS: T REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-05

NOT: NEW
7. Most people tend to be attracted to partners of their same race or ethnicity.
ANS: T REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?

OBJ: 07-06
8. It is possible to experience love without attachment, but it is unlikely to experience attachment without
love.
ANS: F REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
9. A number of studies consistently reveal that women link love and sex to a greater extent than men link
love and sex.
ANS: T REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08
10. In general, men are MORE likely to acknowledge their jealous feelings than women are.
ANS: F REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-09
11. Spontaneity and variety in sexual sharing and feeling sexually attractive to one’s partner are important
ingredients for long-term relationship satisfaction.
ANS: T REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction

OBJ: 07-11
12. One of the reasons couples find it difficult to communicate effectively within relationships is because
of mixed messages.
ANS: T REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-13
13. Partners who frequently talk about the sexual aspects of their relationship are denying themselves an
opportunity to increase their closeness and pleasure through learning about each other’s needs and
desires with nonverbal communication.
ANS: F REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication

OBJ: 07-13 NOT: NEW
14. Research has consistently demonstrated that receiving expressions of love and appreciation
(affectionate communication) from a loved one fulfills a profound human need while providing a
broad array of psychological, biological, and relational benefits.
ANS: T REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14

NOT: NEW
15. Because many people find it easier to read about sex than to talk about it, articles and books dealing
with the subject can provide the stimulus for personal conversations.
ANS: T REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14

NOT: NEW
16. Being an active listener, maintaining eye contact, and providing feedback are all aspects of good
listening.
ANS: T REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15

17. Conditional positive regard encourages a person to talk about even the most embarrassing or painful
concerns.
ANS: F REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15

NOT: NEW
18. If you wanted to find out how your partner felt about your sexual relationship, that information could
BEST be obtained by asking an open-ended as opposed to a yes-no question.
ANS: T REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16
19. Two individuals willing to communicate their desires and take responsibility for their own pleasure
create an excellent framework for effective, fulfilling sexual intimacy.
ANS: T REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-16

NOT: NEW
20. Expressing requests directly is always effective.
ANS: F REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17

NOT: NEW
21. Counselors encourage their clients to use “I” language when stating their needs to others.
ANS: T REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17

NOT: NEW
22. Complaining involves constructively expressing relationship concerns rather than criticizing.
ANS: T REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints

OBJ: 07-17 NOT: NEW
23. If you wish to turn down an invitation for intimate interaction, be sure to say no in an unequivocal and
clear fashion, and that your verbal response matches your body language.
ANS: T REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-17
24. The communication skill of “giving permission” is one way to discover your partner’s needs.
ANS: T REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-17
25. Editing refers to not saying things that will be hurtful to our partners.
ANS: T REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships

OBJ: 07-19
SHORT ANSWER
1. Share your own definition of love and compare it to the definition in the text.
ANS:
Answer not provided.
REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01 NOT: NEW
2. Provide two plausible explanations offered by social psychologists as to why proximity is such a
powerful factor in interpersonal attraction.
ANS:
REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom? OBJ: 07-05

NOT: NEW
3. Define and discuss the basis for effective sexual communication.
ANS:
REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-05

NOT: NEW
4. Summarize Mary Ainsworth research on styles of attachment, and explain how different attachment
styles influence relationships.
ANS:
REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07
5. Explain how homosexual relationships are both similar to, and different from, heterosexual
relationships.
ANS:
REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08
6. Describe how to use the “I” language. Provide two examples.
ANS:
REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-09 NOT: NEW

7. Discuss the role that sexual variety plays in relationships as described in your text.
ANS:
REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction OBJ: 07-11
8. Provide examples of empirical research that have provided some support for Sternberg’s love model.
ANS:
REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-13 NOT: NEW
9. List one advantage and one drawback of open-ended questions.
ANS:
REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-13 NOT: NEW
10. Your text lists a number of strategies that may be helpful to begin talking about sex. Identify and
describe three strategies.
ANS:
REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14
11. Identify and describe the ways of effective listening and feedback that are described in your text.
ANS:
REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15
12. Describe three ways to solve a complaint in a manner that strengthens rather than weakens the
relationship.
ANS:
REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints OBJ: 07-17

NOT: NEW
13. Discuss the three-step approach to saying no.
ANS:
REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-17 NOT: NEW

14. Elaborate on the four important components of nonverbal sexual communication.
ANS:
REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-19 NOT: NEW
15. Describe the five destructive communication tactics identified by Gottman.
ANS:
REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships

OBJ: 07-19 NOT: NEW

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2. Rubin’s love scale revealed that “strong lovers”

5. Passionate love typically occurs

8. Generalized physiological arousal and strong sexual desire are components of

9. Which of the following is TRUE?

12. Which of the following is LEAST characteristic of passionate love?

13. For Sternberg, intimacy

22. The three components of Sternberg’s theory of love are

23. According to John Allan Lee, an altruistic love style is characterized by

39. Which of the following statements is TRUE?

43. Children who display insecure attachments might be categorized as either

45. Avoidant adults generally want

58. A lasting love relationship

64. Which of the following is the BEST example of mutual empathy?

66. Obstacles to effective communication about sex include

71. Which of the following is NOT a listening and feedback skill?

75. Which of the following is the BEST example of self-disclosure?

79. When someone attempts to decrease interpersonal distance, it is generally interpreted as

82. Asking a “why” question

86. A verbal statement of a complaint to your partner

87. With respect to saying “no” in relationships,

93. When raising a concern or criticism with your partner,

96. If you are the recipient of mixed messages, it is probably BEST to

98. Validating involves

100. Stonewalling occurs when

ANS: T REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01

ANS: F REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-03

ANS: T REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-04

ANS: F REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-04

ANS: F REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?

ANS: T REF: Nonverbal Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-05

ANS: T REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom?

ANS: F REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07

ANS: T REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08

ANS: F REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-09

ANS: T REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction

ANS: T REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-13

ANS: F REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication

ANS: T REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14

ANS: T REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14

ANS: T REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15

ANS: F REF: Listening and Feedback OBJ: 07-15

ANS: T REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-16

ANS: T REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-16

20. Expressing requests directly is always effective.

ANS: F REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17

ANS: T REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-17

ANS: T REF: Expressing and Receiving Complaints

ANS: T REF: Saying No OBJ: 07-17

ANS: T REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-17

ANS: T REF: Communication Patterns in Successful and Unsuccessful Relationships

REF: What Is Love? OBJ: 07-01 NOT: NEW

REF: Falling in Love: Why and With Whom? OBJ: 07-05

3. Define and discuss the basis for effective sexual communication.

REF: The Importance of Sexual Communication OBJ: 07-05

REF: Love and Styles of Attachment OBJ: 07-07

REF: Issues in Loving Relationships OBJ: 07-08

6. Describe how to use the “I” language. Provide two examples.

REF: Learning to Make Requests OBJ: 07-09 NOT: NEW

REF: Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction OBJ: 07-11

REF: Types of Love OBJ: 07-13 NOT: NEW

9. List one advantage and one drawback of open-ended questions.

REF: Discovering Your Partner’s Needs OBJ: 07-13 NOT: NEW

REF: Talking: Getting Started OBJ: 07-14