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The Dark Side
Interpersonal Communication
The Dark Side
Second Edition
Edited by
Brian H. Spitzberg
William R. Cupach
LAWRENCE ERLBAUM ASSOCIATES, PUBLISHERS

2007 Mahwah, New Jersey London
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
The dark side of interpersonal communication / edited by Brian H.

Spitzberg, William R. Cupach. — 2nd ed.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-0-8058-5779-5 — 0-8058-5779-6 (cloth)

ISBN 978-0-8058-4450-4 — 0-8058-5780-X (pbk.)
ISBN 1-4106-1592-8 (e book)
1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Interpersonal conflict. I. Cupach,

William R. II. Spitzberg, Brian H.
BF637.C45D335 2007
153.6—dc22 2006022400
CIP
ISBN 0-203-93684-1 Master e-book ISBN

C ontents
Preface vii
I. AMUSING AND BEMUSING
1. Disentangling the Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication 3

Brian H. Spitzberg and William R. Cupach
II. SCHMOOZING, CHOOSING, AND CONFUSING
2. The Dark Side of Relational Uncertainty: Obstacle or Opportunity 31

Leanne K. Knobloch
3. The Dark Side (and Light Side) of Avoidance and Secrets 61

Tamara Afifi, John Caughlin, and Walid Afifi
4. Manipulation of Self in Cyberspace 93

Monica T. Whitty
III. BRUISING
5. Communicating Hurt 121

Anita L. Vangelisti
6. “You’re Bugging Me!”: Complaints and Criticism From a Partner 143

William R. Cupach
v
vi CONTENTS
7. Teasing and Bullying 169

Robin M. Kowalski
IV. (MIS)USING, ACCUSING, AND EXCUSING
8. The Dark Side of Infidelity: Its Nature, Prevalence, and Communicative 201
Functions
Melissa Ann Tafoya and Brian H. Spitzberg
9 Responses to Relational Transgressions: Hurt, Anger, and Sometimes 243

Forgiveness
Sandra Metts and William R. Cupach
V. ABUSING
10. The Communication of Revenge: On the Viciousness, Virtues, and Vitality 277
of Vengeful Behavior in Interpersonal Relationships
Stephen Yoshimura
11. Communicative Aggression: Toward a More Interactional View of Psychological 297

Abuse
René M. Dailey, Carmen M. Lee, and Brian H. Spitzberg
12. Explaining Child Abuse as a Lack of Safe Ground 327

Wendy Morgan and Steven R. Wilson
13. Adolescent-to-Parent Abuse: Exploring the Communicative Patterns Leading 363

to Verbal, Physical, and Emotional Abuse
Nancy Eckstein
Author Index 389
Subject Index 411

P reface
A second edition of a book requires a reason, even more so when it emerges

from a larger domain of loosely related work that has already found publi-
cation. We believe this edition is warranted on several counts. First, some
older topics need renewal, and other newer topics and scholars need a fo-
rum for their work. Many of the chapters and topics in the first edition
were from relatively new scholars or relatively new research topics. Some
of these topics have subsequently flourished by evolving in ways that de-
serve a second look through the lens of the dark side. Other topics have
received fair due in the scholarly landscape, and are in less need of reexam-
ination. One of the benefits of edited volumes is their capacity to intro-
duce innovative topics and scholarly voices, as well as to provide a forum in
which important programs of research can be summarized. This second
edition has provided us an opportunity to take stock of the developments
of the topic areas of the first edition in the context of surveying the schol-
arly landscape for new important scholars and avenues of investigation. In
the process, this edition has minimal overlap with the first edition, with
only a few authors and a couple of topics repeated. In these few cases, the
callback provided an opportunity to reflect the significant evolution of
ideas and research that transpired in the interim between the first edition
and this one. By being selective in choosing such topics, space was opened
for the introduction of new voices and topical excursions.
Second, the dark side approach needs ongoing validation. A new edition
allows us to illustrate the organic heurism of “the dark side” as a way of
looking at the world. The metaphor has provided us a constantly probative
approach, one we view as both renewable and renewing, to conceptualizing
and researching topics of human behavior. The viability of the perspective
will need revisiting in the contemporaneous context from time to time. To
vii
viii PREFACE
the extent there are continuing topics and explorations that befit the lens
of the dark side, we will be interested in the possibilities of peering through
this lens. A second edition allows such a perspective to seek out new vistas
to determine if the lens, when filtered by the zeitgeist of current scholarly
climates, continues to reveal an ever-expanding intellectual horizon.
Third, in addition to its heurism, the conceptual coherence of the dark
side metaphor needs ongoing examination. Since the first edition, the dark
side has found its voice under a variety of rubrics. Scholars of difficult rela-
tionships, aversive interpersonal behavior, behaving badly, relationship
challenges, and other monikers have joined a chorus calling for a redress of
overly pollyannish approaches to scholarship. We view such works as lying
within the rubric of the dark side. Such a chorus, however, risks cacoph-
ony. The metaphor sometimes runs the risk of appearing like everything
and nothing. The dark side is no longer a new voice, but it is important to
continue to demonstrate its capacity for unifying as well as expanding the
horizons of thought. We believe there is coherence that can be retrieved
from the metaphor and the approaches it inspires.
In the first chapter, we take these issues head on by suggesting a set of
conceptual parameters of the dark side. We examine some of the past ap-
proaches to defining the dark side, and offer our own interpretation of its
nature and scope, both at a conceptual level and by surveying the extent to
which the dark side is revealed in everyday life. The dark side is shown to
be deeply concerned not only with dysfunction, but also with social pro-
cesses marked by functional and normative ambivalence. Some of the
more revealing exemplars of such ambivalence and dysfunction are noted,
and a set of guiding assumptions of the dark side is articulated, with a sug-
gestion of future agendas on dark side research and thought.
Chapter 2 provides an overview of relational uncertainty. Knobloch
presents a model for organizing the emerging literature. She considers both
the obstacles and opportunities that relational uncertainty offers relational
partners. By identifying gaps in current research, Knobloch sets an agenda
for further empirical inquiry into relational uncertainty.
Afifi, Afifi, and Caughlin explicate both the positive and negative conse-
quences of topic avoidance and secrets in chapter 3. After providing useful
distinctions among avoidance, secrecy, and related topics such as decep-
tion, they evaluate the empirical evidence regarding the effects of disclo-
sure versus avoidance. Although they find support for the prevailing
ideology of openness, they also provide important qualifications for it.
They show that avoidance can be functional and that the manner of avoid-
ance can mitigate some of its darker effects.
In chapter 4, Whitty takes up the problems that emerge from self-pre-
sentations in cyberspace. She examines how individuals establish relation-
PREFACE ix
ships online and the difficulties in continuing a relationship offline when

the cyberself and offline self conflict. She also assesses the nature of online
affairs and reviews various forms of online harassment.
Vangelisti synthesizes the growing literature on hurtful communication
in chapter 5. She compares the prominent conceptualizations of hurt, and
reviews research on the events that people perceive to be hurtful. The vari-
ables that influence how people interpret and evaluate interactions are also
examined.
Chapter 6 explores complaints and criticism in which people express
discontent to their partners, about their partners. Cupach summarizes
why relational partners complain to one another, and what they complain
about. Then he introduces principles of face to provide a framework for
understanding the relative aversiveness of complaints for recipients. The
causes and consequences of withholding complaints—the flip side of com-
plaint expression—are also reviewed.
In chapter 7, Kowalski crystallizes the scholarly work on bullying and its
conceptual cousin, teasing. The characteristics of both victims and perpe-
trators are reviewed. Then she addresses the reasons that people tease and
bully, and the consequences of teasing and bullying for both victims and by-
standers.
Tafoya and Spitzberg focus on the subject of infidelity in chapter 8.
Their review of the substantial literature captures the complex and para-
doxical nature of the phenomenon. The authors also introduce the concept
of communicative infidelity, which is the enactment of extradyadic sexual
activity intended in part to send a message to a former, current, or prospec-
tive romantic dyad partner. Original data from two exploratory investiga-
tions are presented to elucidate the concept.
Metts and Cupach, in chapter 9, review the general literature on various
types of relational transgressions. They then focus particularly on the bur-
geoning research regarding forgiveness following transgressions. After pre-
senting some of the pertinent conceptual issues and measurement options,
they elaborate the variables that facilitate or impede forgiveness.
In contrast to forgiveness, chapter 10 considers the communication of
revenge. Yoshimura outlines the historical and cultural prevalence of re-
venge and explains the complex mechanisms that motivate it. His review
suggests that despite its negative consequences, revenge serves some indis-
pensable functions in social interactions.
After reviewing the limitations of various approaches to psychological
abuse in chapter 11, Dailey, Lee, and Spitzberg offer a reconceptualization
that focuses on its communicative nature. They define communicative ag-
gression as any recurring set of messages that function to impair a person’s
enduring self-image. Efforts to develop and validate a new measure of
x PREFACE
communicative aggression are reported. The authors find that both com-
municative aggression and physical aggression contribute unique variance
in negatively predicting relational quality.
Morgan and Wilson, in chapter 12, review theories of attachment and
parenting styles as frameworks for understanding child abuse and neglect.
Extending these theories, they then introduce safe ground theory, which
offers an explanation of the symbolic meaning underlying abusive patterns.
The theory specifically predicts what perceived characteristics of parent–
child interaction are associated with the lack of self-esteem and behavioral
competence in children.
In chapter 13, the closing chapter, Eckstein extends the literature on
family conflict and violence by investigating the understudied phenome-
non of adolescent-to-parent abuse. Her qualitative analysis of original data
reveals distinct patterns of interaction between adolescents and parents
that escalate into different types of abusive episodes.
We have never pretended that the dark side forms an entirely coherent
picture of the world, and edited collections always risk pushing the bounds
of coherence to begin with. However, we continue to find common
themes that run through the collections we assemble, and this second edi-
tion has been no exception. In addition to the functional ambivalence of
communicative and relational processes, we find that these dark side chap-
ters reveal a heuristic value to thinking about the darker sides of human be-
havior. Questions often arise both from within a research program (e.g.,
What are the characteristics of a hurtful message? What are the conse-
quences of secrecy in a relationship?) and across research programs (e.g.,
To what extent are humans fundamentally selfish and vengeful? To what
extent are relational transgressions a necessary facet of relationships?). By
asking such questions at the micro- and macro-levels, we hope to draw
closer to a perspective in which the darker sides and brighter sides of
human experience are better integrated in theory and research.
Finally, we have long labored under an assumption that to a large extent,
the darker sides of human interaction tend to be the more intrinsically inter-
esting aspects of the human condition. Drama and comedy both depend
heavily on conflict, incongruity, and failure. As a species, we may be enliv-
ened by the prospect, indeed the hope, of living “happily ever after,” but we
tend to tune our attentions rather specifically to the myriad ways in which
the “paradise lost” serves as guidance to a once and future paradise yet to
come. The scholarly pursuit of the dark side may therefore serve as both mo-
tivation and signpost to pursue the better natures of our discontents.
—Brian H. Spitzberg and William R. Cupach

I
AMUSING
AND BEMUSING
1
Disentangling the Dark Side of
Brian H. Spitzberg
William R. Cupach
More than a decade has passed since we first suggested the “dark side” as a
heuristic metaphor for integrating and extending avenues of research on
interpersonal communication and personal relationships (Cupach &
Spitzberg, 1994, 2004; Spitzberg & Cupach, 1998a). In that time, we have
encountered many on our road who stereotypically associated us with the
study of all things depressing, deviant, or disturbing. Others more san-
guinely suggested that our trek had opened up a new paradigm, a new theo-
retical perspective, or perhaps a new space for scholarly speculation.
Along the way, parallel tributaries of work have flowed through edited
collections (e.g., Andersen & Guerrero, 1998; Coupland, Giles, &
Wiemann, 1991; Goodwin & Cramer, 2002; Griffin & O’Leary-Kelly, 2004;
Kirkpatrick, Duck, & Foley, 2006; Kowalski, 1997, 2001; Kowalski & Leary,
1999; A. G. Miller, 2004) and more focused topical treatments of the dark
side (e.g., Baumeister, 1997; Becker, 1968; Buss, 2000; Finkelhor, Gelles,
Hotaling, & Straus, 1983; Fox & Spector, 2005; Joiner & Coyne, 1999;
Kowalski, 2003; Leary, 2001; Lloyd & Emery, 2000; A. G. Miller, 1999; R. S.
Miller, 2000; Mortensen, 1997; Segrin, 2001; Vaughn, 1999). Eventually,
commentators began to examine the dark side as a trend or thematic devel-
opment of their fields (e.g., Felmlee & Sprecher, 2000; Perlman, 2000). In-
3
4 SPITZBERG AND CUPACH
deed, the currents of work began moving so consistently toward deeper and
darker waters that there have been some calls to redress such trends by
studying the nature of happiness, adjustment, and resilience (e.g., Seligman,
1998, 2003; Snyder & Lopez, 2002). The journey has indeed been a “bumpy
night,” in which the dark side ironically seemed at times to represent every-
thing, and then again, little or nothing.
In this context, and with some benefit of hindsight, we feel it apropos to
take a look forward by taking a look back, and provide some conjectures on
the nature of the dark side as a conceptual metaphor, and its advantages
and disadvantages in guiding scholarly activities. We begin with some defi-
nitional meanderings, which will in part reprise some of the issues raised in
our previous prefaces, forewords, introductions, and reviews (e.g.,
Spitzberg, 1994, 2006; Spitzberg & Cupach, 1994, 1998b). In particular,
we emphasize once more that the dark side is not exclusively intended to
refer to things evil or destructive. It is instead a much richer metaphor than
this (all too) common pigeonhole would suggest. Next we summarize
some of the extent to which the normatively defined dark side infects our
everyday interactions and relationships. We then illustrate one of the pri-
mary benefits of the dark side metaphor, the attention to the functional
ambivalence of most social processes. Scholars need to account for this
ambivalence if theories are to summon the full spectrum of human nature
in their depictions and accounts of the human condition. We conclude
with some conjectures on corners of the dark side not yet explored or ex-
ploited, with an eye toward illuminating directions in which progress is still
to be made.
SEEING IN THE DARKNESS
The dark side means many things to many people. We cannot pretend to
“own” rights to the territory, even if boundaries to the territory were easily
drawn. There are no trespass injunctions to enforce, regardless of the ver-
biage employed to avoid the phrase itself. Those who tread after our 1994
collection of essays on the dark side have employed a host of synonyms, in-
cluding aversive interpersonal behaviors, inappropriate relationships, be-
having badly, counterproductive behavior, interpersonal problems, and of
course, evil. Such terms illustrate the malleability of the basic phrase, and
suggest that scholars continue to struggle with identifying the most reso-
nant moniker to represent the territory. In our own discussions, we find
the label “dark side” sufficiently turbulent with suggestiveness, and only
seldom have we found it overly constraining or dry.
We have to date restrained from formally defining the dark side. This is
not an oversight, nor does it reflect some heretofore unrecognized strain of
1. DISENTANGLING THE DARK SIDE 5
scholarly shyness or intellectual timidity. We simply believe it is more pro-

ductive in its more feral or elemental base state. However, we do think
there are a variety of useful signposts that can assist with navigating the av-
enues and alleyways of the dark side.
First, we have suggested that the dark side can be carved out in terms of
its contents. Like the millennia-old evolution of what ultimately became
the seven deadly sins (Bloomfield, 1952; Peters, 1994), it is possible to
think of the dark side as consisting of certain kinds of phenomena and pro-
cesses. Thus, for example, our effort to describe the dark side in our sec-
ond volume (Spitzberg & Cupach, 1998b) identified seven themes that
loosely intersect, bisect, and border on the dark side.
First, the dark side is about the dysfunctional, distorted, distressing, and
destructive aspects of human behavior. Second, the dark side dallies with
deviance, betrayal, transgression, and violation, which includes the awk-
ward, rude, and disruptive aspects of human behavior. Third, the dark side
delves into the direct and indirect implications of human exploitation.
Fourth, the dark side simply seeks to shed light on the unfulfilled, unpo-
tentiated, underestimated, and unappreciated domains of human en-
deavor. Fifth, the dark side is attracted to the study of the unattractive, the
unwanted, the distasteful, and the repulsive. Sixth, the dark side seeks to
understand the process of objectification—of symbolically and inter-
actionally reducing humans to mere objects. Finally, the dark side is drawn
to the paradoxical, dialectical, and mystifying facets of life.
Such a list is suggestive, but ultimately we view it as a failed conceptual
adventure. There is too much overlap across categories, too much ambigu-
ity within categories, and probably too many topics of interest that would
fall between the conceptual cracks left open across and among the do-
mains. This has led us to suggest another approach to delineating the scope
of the dark side.
The dark side can be thought of as a function of two conceptual dimen-
sions: (a) normatively and morally appropriate versus normatively and
morally inappropriate, and (b) functionally productive versus functionally
destructive. The first dimension represents the extent to which an activity
or phenomenon receives the approval or disapproval of segments of society
or culture. The second dimension reflects the extent to which an activity
or phenomenon impairs or improves the survival or thriving of a person or
social system. In this schema, therefore, a potential map of four domains
emerges (see Fig. 1.1).
The dark side metaphor resides in three of these quadrants. Specifically,
evil and pure destruction qua destruction seem obvious candidates for in-
spection of the dark side. However, most of those who have characterized
our interest in the dark side have overlooked our oft-spoken interest in two
related sets of possibilities: (a) processes that people perceive as moral or
Figure 1.1. The boundaries of the dark side.
productive, but that function in deceptively dysfunctional ways, and (b)

processes that are normatively presumed to be immoral or dysfunctional,
but that actually (or paradoxically) function in ways that promote the vi-
tality of the person or social system. Put simply, the dark side, in addition
to an interest in the manifestly destructive and immoral facets of life, is
also interested in phenomena in which the silver clouds have dark linings,
and in which dark clouds have silver linings. Indeed, the only territory that
the dark side expressly has relatively little interest in is the pure “bright
side”—those processes or phenomena that receive social approbation and
have no demonstrable ill effects on their respective social systems or par-
ticipants. To date, we have speculated, only partly in jest, that this quad-
rant is a null set. We are willing to be convinced otherwise, but to date have
not been.
Because we have now just argued that the dark side is actually about vir-
tually everything symbolic and social, we risk imploding the value of this
perspective by overreaching. Concepts have relatively little scientific value
if they attempt to represent everything. However, this reinforces our view
that the dark side is ultimately less about specific contents (e.g., the seven
deadly sins of the dark side) or boundaries (e.g., the dimensions and quad-
rants of the dark side), and more about an attitude or perspective toward
social scientific phenomena and processes.
Specifically, the dark side draws attention to certain ways of asking
questions. For example, instead of asking “To what extent does social sup-
port promote health?” the dark side would lead to questions such as these:
Under what conditions does social support promote health, and under
what conditions does social support impair health? Are there paradoxes or
dialectical tensions intrinsic to the provision and receipt of social support?
How do people employ social support strategically, and how do these uses
backfire? Thus, the dark side is as comfortable with stereotypically
“bright” concepts as it is with stereotypically “dark” concepts. The differ-
ence is that a dark side perspective begins with the assumption that when
appropriately interrogated, the process or phenomenon in question will
manifest functional ambivalence or paradox.
A dark side perspective eventually has implications for both theorizing
and investigating persons, relationships, processes, and systems. As Duck
(1994) opined in our freshman dark side endeavor, our paradigms, theo-
ries, and models of human behavior need to integrate the dark side into
their architecture from the foundation up. Many models of human behav-
ior tend toward organizing metaphors of actualization, balance, certainty,
consistency, openness, optimization, rationality, security, and so forth (see
also Schimmel, 2000). Such prime directives in theories presume an ontol-
ogy of seeking more idealized, more mature, more developed, more com-
plete, more rational, or more satisfied states of existence. Although the
insertion of egocentric or selfish motives in such idealized directives cer-
tainly opens up the possibilities of the dark side, the rhetoric of the theo-
ries still seems to promote an ideology of the pursuit of goodness.
This is not to suggest that the dark side is absent from the vast litera-
tures on the human condition. The field of psychology, for example, has
long attended to variants of psychological illness and maladaptive behavior.
However, the extensive literature on abnormal psychology explicitly views
its domain as abnormal, deviant, and therefore, requisite of theories of
how the pursuit of the good somehow “went wrong.” Pollyanna is still the
preferred idol of psychology (e.g., Seligman, 2003), reflected in the clar-
ion call for “a reoriented science that emphasizes the understanding and
building of the most positive qualities of an individual: optimism, courage,
work ethic, future-mindedness, interpersonal skill, the capacity for plea-
sure and insight, and social responsibility” (Seligman, 1998).
Certainly many philosophers and observers have speculated on the in-
trinsic darkness of human nature (e.g., Anders, 1994; Baumeister &
Campbell, 1999; Baumeister & Vohs, 2004; Bloom, 1995; Duntley & Buss,
2004; Fromm, 1973; Ghiglieri, 1999; Gilbert, 1992; Oppenheimer, 1996;
Schoenewolf, 1991; Staub, 1999; Tangney & Stuewig, 2004; Volkan, 1988;
Watson, 1995; Zimbardo, 2004). However, there are relatively few theo-
ries or philosophical systems that begin with a foundation that presumes
human need for both good and evil (and the judgments that go along with
such needs), as well as conditional propositions that account for the ambiv-
alence of productive and destructive behavior.
In sum, the dark side is an appreciation, a perspective, a way of asking
questions, that draws attention to the ambivalent, multivalent, and multi-
functional nature of our needs, goals, dreams, nightmares, foibles, and
courses of action. The dark side seeks an acceptance that all social proces-
ses unfold in ways that produce both gains and losses, and gains that appear
to be losses and losses that appear to be gains.
BASE RATES FOR THE REGNUM ATRUM
For some time we have been haphazardly collecting estimates of the inci-
dence and prevalence of various dark side phenomena. We have been inter-
ested in documenting the extent to which a typical person, in a typical
conversation, day, week, month, year, or lifetime experiences various un-
pleasant or dispreferred events. Such an undertaking is necessarily fraught
with selective biases, both in the studies to which we have attended, and in
the various vagaries of operational differences that characterize the mél-
ange of studies. Nevertheless, a perusal of this menagerie of the middling,
morose, and malicious experiences of everyday life is telling. It appears
that the merely dolorous experience is an almost daily occurrence, and the
experience of threat and danger are far from uncommon.
A summary of these experiences is abstracted in Table 1.1. Each entry is
an absurd simplification of the richer stores of data available in the original
studies. In several instances, the statistics were expert judgments of larger
and more diverse literatures. In other instances, the metric is unavoidably
idiosyncratic to the particular study. Nevertheless, the collective impact of
the studies is stark. A wide range of our everyday encounters is marked by
numerous troubling, unwanted experiences.
Having found substantial evidence that we commonly experience trou-
blesome, irking, unpleasant, aggravating, difficult, and problematic en-
counters, it is also important to point out that these types of experiences
generally appear to be the background to a foreground of generally pleasant
everyday experience. This speculation is partially evidenced by a study by
Zelenski and Larsen (2000), who compared the relative daily experiences
of positive and negative emotions. They found that
happiness and relaxation were reported at much greater frequencies (approxi-

mately 88% of the occasions) than the other emotions … . The negative emo-
TABLE 1.1
Selective Estimates of Base Rates of the Regnum Atrum
Dark Side Phenomenon Estimate of Incidence Source

Anger 25% of workers are chronically angry. Gibson & Barsade (1999)
Anger 66% of people get angry in any given week Averill (1982)
Bad conversations 13% of weekly conversations are “bad” conversations (Mean N of Spitzberg (2006, unpublished
conversations in a typical week = 25.19/Mean N of “bad” conversations in data, available from author)
a typical week = 3.06).
Breaches of propriety Frequency over 4 days: 1.2 boorishness, 1.4 control of props, 1.5 R. S. Miller (2001)
intentional embarrassment, 1.5 control of companions, 1.5 drunkenness,
1.7 maliciousness, 2.0 violations of privacy, 2.9 control of environment, 3.2
inattention, 3.4 insufficient manners, 3.5 selfishness, 3.7 rudeness, 4.4
control of body.
Bullying 32% of young people bullied at least once, 12% five or more times; 23% Galinsky & Salmond (2002)
have bullied at least once, 6% five or more times.
Communicative 20% experience communicative apprehension. Richmond & McCroskey
apprehension (1985)
Communicative 22% problems asking a question, 33% giving accurate directions, 35% (Rubin, 1981)
incompetence could not adequately express and defend a point of view, 49% could not
describe an opposing point of view.
Communicative 25% incapable of communicating adequately. Vangelisti & Daly (1989)
incompetence
9
(continued)
10
TABLE 1.1 (continued)

Deception 1.96 lies committed per day, median of 11/week, mean of .31/interaction. DePaulo et al. (1996)
Depression 3% to 9% incidence any given time, 17% to 25% lifetime prevalence. Segrin (1998)
Disaffinity .70/month intentionally perpetrated, .79/month experienced from other. Kellermann & Lee (2001)
Discouragements 15% of conversations involve discouraging messages. Reynolds (1996)
Fatal attractions .33% of romantic relationships experience a source of dissatisfaction that Felmlee (1995)
began as a source of attraction.
Hassles 8.7 social hassles/week Perlman (1990)
Hurt feelings 60% experience hurt feelings more than once a month, 20% at least once Leary & Springer (2001)
per week.
Internet deception (a) 24% pretended to be someone else, 33% gave fake information (b) (a) Lenhart, Rainer, & Lewis
27% engaged in online deception. (2001); (b) Rumbough (2001)
Internet pathology 65% experienced one to three symptoms, 8% experienced four or more Cooper, Delmonico, & Burg
symptoms of problematic Internet use. (2000)
Internet— Unwanted 27% of young females and 12% of young males have been approached Ybarra, Leaf, & Diener-West
sexual attention sexually online in the previous year. (2004)
Irritations by partner The average respondent noted 5.31 (SD = 2.11) “things about your Cloven & Roloff (1994)
partner that irritate you” (p. 149).
Jealousy 40% experienced jealousy “without good cause,” 10% admitted to own Mullen & Martin (1994)
jealousy causing problems, 15% to 19% felt partner’s jealousy caused
significant problems
Loneliness (a) 40% having experienced loneliness; (b) 26% during past few weeks; (c) (a) Cutrona (1982);
16% lonely most or all of the time; (d) range from 21% to 79% (b) Bradburn (1969);
“sometimes” felt lonely. (c) Rubenstein & Shaver (1980);
(d) Perlman & Peplau (1984)
Marital divorce 50% of recent marriages U.S. Census Bureau (2002)
Marital “failure” Assuming a 50% divorce rate, “if one also counts as ‘broken’ marriages in A. G. Miller (1999)
which the spouses separate—or are simply miserable—without actually
divorcing, the current failure rate of U.S. marriages is close to 70%.”
Negative emotions Average nonzero experience/day: 44% bored, 28% sad, 19% guilty, 31% Zelenski & Larsen (2000)
lonely, 47% frustrated, 48% anxious, 17% disgusted, 22% angry, 17%
afraid.
Pathological Internet 8.1% report four or more symptoms of pathological Internet use, and are Morahan-Martin &
use considered pathological users. Schumacher (2000)
Privacy-seeking— 16% used moderately aggressive or aggressive privacy-seeking strategies. Buslig & Burgoon (2000)
Aggressive
Profanity 8% of college student, 13% of adult leisure, and 3.5% of on-the-job adult Cameron (1969)
word usage consists of profanity or obscenity.
Rejection 61% children have experienced rejection at least once in the past month; Galinsky & Salmond (2002)
21% have rejected someone in the past month.
Social inadequacy (a) 7% to 24% prevalence; (b) 10% prevalence; (c) 16% prevalence. (a) Argyle (1986); (b) Hecht &
Wittchen (1988); (c) Bryant,
Trower, Yardley, Urbieta, &
Letermendia (1976)
(continued)
11
12
TABLE 1.1 (continued)

Sexual aggression 1.7% college women raped, 1.1% experienced attempted rape, 1.7% Fisher, Cullen, & Turner
experienced sexual coercion, 1.9% experienced unwanted sexual contact (2000)
in past 6 months.
Sexual aggression 13% women and 3% men have been raped; 18% women and 14% men Spitzberg (1999)
sexually assaulted; 24% women and 8% men unwanted sex, 25% women
and 23% men sexual coercion.
Sexual harassment 58% women experienced “potentially harassing behavior,” and 24% Ilies, Hauserman, Schwuchau,
experienced sexual harassment. & Stibal (2003)
Shyness 40% consider themselves presently shy. Zimbardo (1977)
Social stress 9% of students “experience considerable stress,” great difficulty, or Bryant & Trower (1974)
avoidance across four social situations.
Stalking (a) 13% of college women since the beginning of the semester; (b) 25% of (a) Fisher et al. (2000); (b)
women, 16% of men. Spitzberg (2002)
Swearing 1 of every 14 words. Cameron, cited in Winters &
Duck (2001)
Teasing 66% of young people have been teased or gossiped about at least once in Galinsky & Salmond (2002)
the past month; 57% have teased or gossiped about someone else at least
once in the past month
Threats 75% of sample had expressed threats of violence to their partner, over Marshall (1994)
75% had sustained threats from their partner.
Troublesome 56% reported troublesome relationships in the past year (e.g., partners had Levitt, Silver, & Franco, (1996)
relationships been selfish, manipulative, demanding, untrustworthy, unpredictable,
possessive, irresponsible, depressed, intimidating, verbally abusive,
withdrawn, or using alcohol or drugs).
Violence—Children 46% “hit, shoved, kicked, or tripped” at least once in the past month; 9% Galinsky & Salmond (2002)
attacked with a weapon, and 8% forced to do sexual acts at least once in
the past month.
Violence—School 15% of students ages 12 to 19 victimized by violence in past 6 months. Kaufman et al. (1999)
Violence—Workplace 48% of respondents indicated a violent incident had occurred in their Society for Human Resource
workplace in the past year Management (1996)
Note. Percentages are rounded.
13
tions were reported at lower frequencies, ranging from approximately 45% for
bored, frustrated, and anxious to approximately 16% for afraid, angry, and dis-
gusted. (p. 184)
Thus, although the landscape of everyday life is littered with disprefer-

red experiences, we have the benefit of a prominence of positive experi-
ences. It may be that the very background of positivity is partially
responsible for the potency of the rarer but more noticeable negative expe-
riences. There is some evidence that negative interaction episodes are dis-
proportionately weighted in affecting people’s well-being (Rook, 1984),
although this is still too simplistic an equation to formulate at this time
(Rook, 1998).
What the ratio of positive-to-negative emotional experiences does
starkly indicate is that a typical day is likely to expose and evoke both
bright and dark actions and reactions. If each social process is itself not
functionally ambivalent, at least it seems that life in general is. As it turns
out, however, there is evidence for at least some social phenomena that
suggests the functional ambivalence of even the darkest of experiences.
ILLUSTRATING ILLUSIONS AND AMBIVALENCES

ON THE DARK SIDE
Among the most enlightening reminders of the dark side perspective are
exemplars of social scientific research that uncover findings that are sur-
prising, paradoxical, and difficult to fathom. We take a moment here to il-
lustrate some of our favorites that we have stumbled over in the dark,
simply to provide a brief assortment of the dark side at its purest.
To virtually all laypersons, communication is viewed as a panacea of
sorts in relationship problems. If we could just communicate more, or
better, we could be so much better off. Yet, a few studies cast serious doubt
on such a simplistic notion. For example, Burleson (2005) called into ques-
tion the unequivocal value of communication skills. He recounted findings
from one of his studies in which “women’s communication skills were
negatively correlated with their husbands’ marital satisfaction and liking,”
suggesting that “enhancing the communication skills of at least some dis-
tressed spouses may be the equivalent of putting new, powerful weapons in
the hands of angry antagonists” (p. 16).
Clearly in the same vein of communication skills, perceived under-
standing appears to be strongly and positively related to relational satisfac-
tion. However, actual understanding tends to be unrelated, negatively
related (Sillars, Pike, Jones, & Murphy, 1984), or ambivalently related
(Allen & Thompson, 1984; Levinger & Breedlove, 1966; Simpson, Oriña,
& Ickes, 2003; Tucker & Anders, 1999) to relational satisfaction. The hap-
piest relationships may often be those that sustain the most positive illu-
sions about their relationships (Murray & Holmes, 1997; Murray, Holmes,
Bellavia, Griffin, & Dolderman, 2002; Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 1996)
to compensate for darker truths untold and unexamined. In short, igno-
rance may indeed be bliss.
Closely related to understanding is the process of deception. Although
deception is popularly considered unethical (O’Hair & Cody, 1994; Peter-
son, 1996), lies are a relatively normative activity (DePaulo, 2004;
DePaulo, Kashy, Kirkendol, Wyer, & Epstein, 1996), and often told with
prosocial motivation, intending to benefit the receiver of the deception
(DePaulo, 2004). In one study, “when asked if the success of a romantic re-
lationship depends upon complete honesty between the participants, only
27% of the sample responded in the affirmative,” with 65% claiming that
“it depends on the situation,” and a similar 63% responding affirmatively
“when asked if a person should ever mislead his/her romantic partner”
(Boon & McLeod, 2001, p. 469). Camden, Motley, and Wilson (1984) ar-
gued that by one reasoned operationalization, only 35% of lies are selfish in
motivation. Other research suggests that lying in intimate relationships
functions to avoid relational trauma and conflict, processes that might be
substantively more dysfunctional than the deceptions (Metts, 1989; Pe-
terson, 1996). Others have argued that various forms of deception are re-
flections of adaptive evolutionary by-products that serve important
survival functions (e.g., Tooke & Camire, 1991).
To some extent, almost any relational activity could be viewed as having
some degree of risk to it. When people are directly queried about their ex-
perience of risks in relationships, a rather wide variety of types of risks
emerge (e.g., fear of negative evaluation, sexual activity, breaking up, etc.).
Although the majority of such risks are viewed as affectively negative in
tone (80%), approximately 14% of them were associated with positive
emotional tones (Boon & Pasveer, 1999).
The needs to belong and be liked by others are generally considered uni-
versal (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Yet, Kellermann and Lee (2001) found
that people “report intentionally trying to make others dislike them about
two times every 3 months … and that others deliberately seek disaffinity
from them to about the same extent” (p. 18). Indeed, Mashek and
Sherman (2004) reported in their samples that between 5% and 19% of
people feel “too close” to their partner, and as many as half or more feel too
close on occasion with their partners.
Anger is widely viewed as a negative and problematic emotional state.
Yet, when Callister, Gray, Schweitzer, Gibson, and Tan (2003) analyzed
organizational anger narratives across three types of contexts, 15% of them
were viewed as producing positive organizational responses (e.g., changed
or persuaded someone to change behavior, educated, taught a lesson, etc.).

Businesses may see red over employees’ anger, but that same anger may oc-
casionally help put the business in the black. Cursing and swearing might
be viewed as dysfunctional derivatives of anger, yet the use of profanity
during conflict serves both connective as well as provocative functions
(Young, 2004). Even hurtful messages are occasionally intended and per-
ceived as supportive (Vangelisti & Young, 2000).
Love is widely sought and idealized. However, Mullen and Martin (1994)
found that 40% of a community sample “considered jealousy to be inevita-
ble if you truly love someone” (p. 36). Jealousy, ironically, is sometimes in-
tentionally induced to enhance love (Fleischmann, Spitzberg, Andersen, &
Roesch, 2005). In one study, almost 75% reported intentionally trying to
make a partner jealous, and 16% of respondents in this study expected to ex-
perience positive reactions to situations in which one’s partner attempts to
evoke one’s jealousy (Sheets, Fredendall, & Claypool, 1997). Nevertheless,
across most situations, the experience of jealousy is generally viewed as a se-
vere problematic and threat to relationships (Guerrero & Andersen, 1998),
even if it is an inevitable facet of love (Buss, 2000).
Jealousy implicates the possibility of infidelity, and infidelity is strongly
associated with conflict, violence, relational dissatisfaction, divorce, and
uxoricide (see Tafoya & Spitzberg, chap. 8, this volume). However, several
studies have found that small but meaningful percentages of relationships
having experienced infidelity are either relatively unaffected or even
highly satisfied (e.g., Buunk, 1987; Hansen, 1987; Olson, Russell, Hig-
gins-Kessler, & Miller, 2002). For example, Charny and Parnass (1995)
found that although most couples either ended or were in a state of
dysphoric decline after the experience of infidelity, between 11% and 17%
of couples appeared to be thriving.
If our emotions are suspect sources of univocal functional value, then at
least it seems we should be able to accept the universal value and impor-
tance of seeking and sustaining self-esteem.
Yet, … the pursuit of self-esteem can cause harm and destruction. Others suffer
when our ability to relate to them is compromised by the pursuit of self-esteem
in the face of real or perceived ego threat. Events that are perceived as
self-threatening initiate coping strategies aimed at repairing the self by distanc-
ing self from others, making downward comparisons, preoccupation with the
self, expressing less empathy and supportiveness toward others’ problems, prej-
udice toward and derogation of outgroups, antagonism, anger, hostility, and
blame, and in the extreme, violence and aggression toward others. (Crocker,
Lee, & Park, 2004, p. 290)
In the same effort with which scholars attempt to disabuse self-esteem

of its disciplinary Pollyanna prejudice, another such prejudice is intro-
duced. Studies of intimate violence consistently begin with the assump-

tion that physical aggression is destructive to the fabric of the relationship,
the well-being of the victim, and society at large. However, Stets and
Pirog-Good (1989) found that “approximately 40% of the men and
women sustaining physical and sexual abuse perceived their relationship as
abusive” (p. 71), leaving 60% in some less pejorative perceptual category.
O’Leary et al. (1989) found it “surprising that not more than a third of the
men and a quarter of the women married to stably aggressive partners were
martially discordant” (p. 267). Similarly, Williams and Frieze (2005)
found that 27% of individuals in violent relationships viewed their rela-
tionships as “excellent,” and 26% of those in mutually severe violent rela-
tionships and over 25% of those in mutually mild violent relationships
were categorized as “no distress.” Olson’s (2002) study of narrative
themes among people describing physically aggressive episodes in their ro-
mantic relationships showed “several instances when the participants re-
ported that the use of aggression was appropriate. For some, the use of
aggression was actually viewed as a constructive way of dealing with their
conflicts” (p. 184; see also Rosen, Parmley, Knudson, & Fancher, 2002;
Spitzberg, 1997).
There are a wide variety of negative outcomes and victim symptoms
that have been associated with stalking victimization (Cupach & Spitzberg,
2004). For example, research found that among women seeking help re-
garding their experience of moderate levels of physical, psychological, and
stalking victimization, 25% “reported a desire to continue the relation-
ship,” although far fewer with other patterns of victimization (e.g., moder-
ate levels of sexual aggression in addition to the other forms) wanted to
continue the relationship (Dutton, Kaltman, Goodman, Weinfurt, &
Vankos, 2005, p. 492). There are many reasons why women may want to
remain in an abusive relationship, which do not automatically indicate pos-
itive outcomes amidst the negative effects. However, Spitzberg and Rhea
(1999) found that resilience symptoms (e.g., stronger romantic relation-
ships, stronger self-concept, greater safety awareness) were positively cor-
related with obsessive relational intrusion and sexual coercion
victimization (r = .23–.37). Perhaps more dramatic, Haugaard and Seri
(2003) found that 21% of stalking victims “were in the decidedly positive
category for influence [of stalking victimization] on dating relationships”
and 26% “were in the decidedly positive category for influence on their life
in general” (p. 292).
Despite the almost univocal moral disapprobation and presumption of
deleterious effects of child sexual abuse, McMillen, Zuravin, and Rideout
(1995) found that almost half (46.8%) of a sample of women victims were
able to identify “some benefit from child sexual abuse” (p. 1039), includ-
ing ways of protecting their children (e.g., “exercise more caution”), self-
protection (e.g., “learned to trust instincts”), and increased knowledge of

sex abuse (e.g., “empathy with victims”).
Such findings litter the landscape of the scholarly literatures when the
lenses of the dark side are cleansed. For example, we find that we can come
to like obnoxious people (Tyler & Sears, 1977). The longer we are with a
romantic partner, generally the more satisfied we are, and yet, the more
uncouth, inconsiderate, intrusive, and norm violating the partner becomes
(Cunningham, Shamblen, Barbee, & Ault, 2005). We find that politeness
(Cohen, Vandellow, Puente, & Rantilla, 1999) and self-esteem
(Baumeister, Boden, & Smart, 1996) can promote violence. We find that
people often intentionally seek to make others feel guilty (Sommer &
Baumeister, 1997), hurt (Vangelisti, chap. 5, this volume), embarrassed
(Bradford & Petronio, 1998; Sharkey, 1997), offended (R. S. Miller,
2001), and jealous (Fleischmann et al., 2005). We deceive people on a
daily basis (DePaulo et al., 1996; Rodriguez & Ryave, 1990), and at other
times strategically engage in infidelity to send a partner a message (Tafoya
& Spitzberg, chap. 8, this volume). People intentionally seek to appear in-
competent (Spitzberg, 1993, 1994), cultivate enemies (Hodges & Card,
2003; Wiseman & Duck, 1995), enact revenge (Yoshimura, chap. 10, this
volume), and seek the dislike of others (Kellermann & Lee, 2001). The
dark side is indeed a labyrinthine territory to traverse.
A COIN FOR THE FERRYMAN
To fully appreciate that which constitutes the dark side, we offer an alter-
native to literally mapping its territory. Instead, we propose a set of work-
ing assumptions—a sort of dialectical mind-set regarding humans and their
relationships. These working assumptions explicate what the dark side
metaphor insinuates. In general this mind-set reflects the idea that human
motives, along with social and relational processes, exhibit functional am-
bivalence in a number of ways.
First, people approach their interactions with multiple and mixed mo-
tives. Although individuals exhibit tendencies to be rational, moral, fair, al-
truistic, actualizing, and benevolent, at the same time they tend to be
fickle, corrupt, selfish, contemptuous, error prone, and malevolent. Indi-
viduals are not simply good or bad; they are inherently good and bad. Sec-
ond, interpersonal communication entails multiple outcomes, and
collectively these outcomes can be simultaneously constructive and de-
structive, functional and dysfunctional, and pleasurable and painful.
Third, the assessment of particular consequences as being light or dark is a
function of differences in individuals, context, and culture. What one per-
son finds valuable, another may find inimical. What pleases in one set of so-
cial circumstances can perturb in a different set of circumstances. What

one culture endorses another may eschew. Fourth, temporality contributes
to the functional ambivalence of interpersonal communication. Particular
actions that seem like a good idea today may seem counterproductive later
on. Moreover, many outcomes are not fixed entities—they demonstrate a
cumulative, and sometimes punctuated or chaotic, quality. Interaction
features can be judged “good” initially, but with repetition and in conjunc-
tion with other features over time they can become too much of a good
thing. Fifth, interpersonal communication occurs in a hierarchically em-
bedded social system (i.e., individuals, dyads, social groups, culture), and a
particular outcome that is judged as good or bad at one level does not nec-
essarily have the same consequences at another level. Thus, what is good
for the individual is not always good for that person’s family—to assume so
commits the fallacy of composition. Conversely, what is good for the
family is not necessarily good for the individual—to assume so is to commit
the ecological fallacy.
These assumptions are intended to be illustrative, not exhaustive. Nev-
ertheless, they suggest a mind-set that offers an alternative view of what
constitutes the dark side. We believe adopting such a mind-set can render
the dark side metaphor more provocative for those who employ it to gen-
erate and guide scholarship on interpersonal communication.
CONCLUDING PERAMBULATIONS
Lest the aforementioned assumptions lead the reader to conclude that

the human condition is envisioned as too indeterminate to study scientif-
ically, we wish to suggest otherwise. Science that ignores systemic and
manifold functions and judgments over time is at greater risk of indeter-
minacy. Granted, the study of human communication and relationships
becomes more complex from a dark side perspective. Over time, how-
ever, we propose that an appreciation of the dark side will shed light on
deeper structures, and perhaps deeper dreams, that account for the hu-
man condition.
As a simple test of the current extent to which various social processes
are ideologically biased in the ways in which they are studied, ask how
many studies of embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger, conflict, violence,
rape, abuse, and so forth, ever include measures or analyses that could ex-
plicitly index positive outcomes. Conversely, what proportion of studies
on empathy, assertiveness, honesty, altruism, volunteerism, cooperation,
and so on, ever include measures or analyses that could explicitly index
negative outcomes. To what extent in such studies are the exceptions to
the rule given as much attention as the rule itself? Such phenomena are,
we believe, presumptively classified as bright or dark, and as long as this is

so, the full variegation of the phenomena will not be fully understood or
appreciated.
As the investigation of social processes increasingly assumes the possi-
bility of functional ambivalence, measurement and design will follow, and
a more comprehensive picture will begin to emerge; a picture in which du-
alities and paradoxes dissolve in higher order systems of motivation and ac-
tion. We may even eventually be able to eschew the rhetoric of the dark
side altogether, as we discover new ways of synthesizing and characterizing
our nature. Along these lines, we favor the fecund insights of two very dif-
ferent observers of human nature, and the interesting resonances they
combine to provide.
Gould (1993) once speculated that “the dark side of human possibility
makes most of our history. But this tragic fact does not imply that behav-
ioral traits of the dark side define the essence of human nature” (p. 281).
In contrast, Gandhi (n.d.) reasoned along other lines: “Must I do all the evil
I can before I learn to shun it? Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it? If
not, we should be sincere enough to admit that we love evil too much to
give it up.” Juxtaposed, these riddles ask us this: If darkness is not in our
nature, why do we seem to love it so? In studying the dark side, we may
eventually reveal our nature to be both brighter and darker than we have
imagined.
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The Dark Side

LAWRENCE ERLBAUM ASSOCIATES, PUBLISHERS

Copyright © 2007 by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc.

Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., Publishers

Cover design by Tomai Maridou

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

The dark side of interpersonal communication / edited by Brian H.

ISBN 978-0-8058-5779-5 — 0-8058-5779-6 (cloth)

1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Interpersonal conflict. I. Cupach,

ISBN 0-203-93684-1 Master e-book ISBN

I. AMUSING AND BEMUSING

1. Disentangling the Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication 3

II. SCHMOOZING, CHOOSING, AND CONFUSING

2. The Dark Side of Relational Uncertainty: Obstacle or Opportunity 31

3. The Dark Side (and Light Side) of Avoidance and Secrets 61

4. Manipulation of Self in Cyberspace 93

5. Communicating Hurt 121

6. “You’re Bugging Me!”: Complaints and Criticism From a Partner 143

7. Teasing and Bullying 169

IV. (MIS)USING, ACCUSING, AND EXCUSING

9 Responses to Relational Transgressions: Hurt, Anger, and Sometimes 243

11. Communicative Aggression: Toward a More Interactional View of Psychological 297

12. Explaining Child Abuse as a Lack of Safe Ground 327

13. Adolescent-to-Parent Abuse: Exploring the Communicative Patterns Leading 363

Author Index 389

Subject Index 411

A second edition of a book requires a reason, even more so when it emerges

ships online and the difficulties in continuing a relationship offline when

—Brian H. Spitzberg and William R. Cupach

SEEING IN THE DARKNESS

scholarly shyness or intellectual timidity. We simply believe it is more pro-

Figure 1.1. The boundaries of the dark side.

productive, but that function in deceptively dysfunctional ways, and (b)

BASE RATES FOR THE REGNUM ATRUM

happiness and relaxation were reported at much greater frequencies (approxi-

Dark Side Phenomenon Estimate of Incidence Source

Dark Side Phenomenon Estimate of Incidence Source

Dark Side Phenomenon Estimate of Incidence Source

Note. Percentages are rounded.

Thus, although the landscape of everyday life is littered with disprefer-

ILLUSTRATING ILLUSIONS AND AMBIVALENCES

or persuaded someone to change behavior, educated, taught a lesson, etc.).

In the same effort with which scholars attempt to disabuse self-esteem

duced. Studies of intimate violence consistently begin with the assump-

protection (e.g., “learned to trust instincts”), and increased knowledge of

A COIN FOR THE FERRYMAN

cial circumstances can perturb in a different set of circumstances. What

Lest the aforementioned assumptions lead the reader to conclude that

we believe, presumptively classified as bright or dark, and as long as this is

Miller, R. S. (2000). Dysfunctional relationships. In R. M. Kowalski & M. R. Leary

Peterson, C. (1996). Deception in intimate relationships. International Journal of Psy-

1 Disentangling the Dark Side of

Allen, A., & Thompson, T. (1984). Agreement, understanding,

Anders, T. (1994). The evolution of evil: An inquiry into

Andersen, P. A., & Guerrero, L. K. (Eds.). (1998). Handbook

Argyle, M. (1986). The skills, rules, and goals of

Averill, J. R. (1982). Anger and aggression: An essay on

Baumeister, R. F. (1997). Evil: Inside human cruelty and

Baumeister, R. F., Boden, J. M., & Smart, L. (1996).

Baumeister, R. F., & Campbell, W. K. (1999). The intrinsic

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to

Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2004). Four roots of

Becker, E. (1968). The structure of evil: An essay on the