Kiwi // H.S. // A.U.

Hitterj

Published: 2020
Source: https://www.wattpad.com
Chapter One

HARRY
I watched her get off the treadmill and walk around a bit to catch her
breath before gathering her stuff, taking a giant gulp of water, and walking
over to the weight section. I lost track of my count as she plucked a sanitary
wipe out of the dispenser on the wall and cleaned off a machine. She
fiddled with the weights, deciding what was best for her, and sat down. She
stared off into space for a moment before she began, ignoring the leering
stare from the guy three machines down.
Today must be a bad day.
I had been watching her for the past three months, since the moment she
walked in the door to sign up for a membership. I don't even know why. I
don't go out of my way to speak to her, I don't even care to find out her
name. She just intrigues me. I figured out she works out due to her mood.
She's here almost every day, usually the same time as me, but varies her
workouts due to whatever her mood is. If she's in a good mood she'll take a
class, preferably yoga. If she's tired, she'll come in for about thirty minutes
to do some basic core strengthening and leg workouts. If she's annoyed,
she'll workout her arms and then take a dip in the pool. If she's having a bad
day, she'll run.
Today she ran for nearly forty minutes. Normally, she would go home
after that, but now she's working on her arms. Her eyes are unfocused, and
she doesn't even look like she's paying attention to her reps.
I was pretty sure she had originally started coming to the gym to get her
mind off of things. She never had a routine workout that would constitute a
specific goal. I could tell she wasn't trying to bulk up or lose weight, but
merely take her mind off things, work out her frustrations. It was something
that I had always liked about the gym; no matter how jumbled my thoughts
were, I could always count on a good workout to straighten everything out.
 I stopped creeping on the poor girl when Mike came in and gestured for
me to follow him. I cleaned off my equipment and followed him to the ring.
Usually we would've already been sparring, but Mike had some 'prior
commitment' he had forgotten to tell me about, so I had been mindlessly
lifting weights until he arrived. I knew he didn't really have any set of
commitment, but really it was his wife's time of ovulation. They had been
trying the past three months to get pregnant, and I was left to hear all about
their sex life.
I picked up his boxing gloves and threw them over to him as I put on my
punch mitts. We did our basic warm-ups and I couldn't stop my mind from
wandering back to her. My gaze flicked back to where she was, talking with
a younger girl, showing her how to use the equipment, I think. She had
taken off her shirt, now in just her yoga pants and sports bra. I stared a little
too long at her thick thighs and got hit upside the head when I missed the
rotation.
"Harry, what the fuck. Get your head out of the clouds. I've only got like
forty more minutes until Naomi expects me back." Mike takes a swig of his
power drink and then says, "What are you even looking at?"
"Nothing, just spacey today." I brush it off and switch positions with him.
"Yeah, right. Is it that girl?"
"What?" I panicked. I hadn't told anyone of my fascination with the girl.
It's not like I had a crush on her or anything. Plus, I didn't want him to think
I was weird for knowing so much about her when I really knew nothing
about her.
He smirks at me, "Oh, so it is a girl." He stops your session and looks out
at the open gym, surveying the options.
I cringe at him, not really liking the small bit of objectification he was
participating in. I always hated checking out the woman at the gym. They
already had to deal with the toxic masculinity that surrounds this place.
Most of the guys are respectful, but there are a few 'meatheads' that run
around.
"Ah, the girl right over there? She's gorgeous."
I followed his line of sight to where the two girls were still talking, my
girl and a younger, perky one. I held back a laugh as I saw my girl hold
back an annoyed expression as the younger one continued to talk. She never
really talked to anyone besides the trainers. She liked to keep to herself, and
I found that intriguing.
 "Yep, it's definitely her. You look like a lovesick puppy, right now, mate."
Mike said as he patted my shoulder with the mitt still on his hand. "Why
don't you go talk to her?"
"Nah, it's not like that. C'mon, let's spar."
Mike gratefully dropped it after that, knowing I wasn't naturally open
about my love life, no matter how pushy Mike and Naomi, or my siblings
were. I was so focused on our sparring that I hadn't noticed her leave, which
was probably a good thing. I really shouldn't be spending this much of my
time thinking about a girl who I don't even know the name of.
When I was done for the day, I took a quick shower in the locker room,
not wanting to stink up my car, and stopped by the front desk to talk to one
of the employees about my weekend boxing class. I was just finishing when
I heard my name being called.
"Harry!" I turn my head and see the perky blonde girl from earlier
walking towards me with a bright smile. "Hey, sorry, but I wanted to catch
you on your way out. I'm Molly." I nod my head at her to be polite, but I'm
very confused as to why she needed to chase me out. "You're friend, Mike, I
think he said his name was, came up to me and said you might've had your
eye on me earlier."
My eyes widened and I felt my face flush. Fuck, of course that idiot
thought I was into the wrong girl. "I-I-I'm sorry, b-but-"
"No need to be embarrassed, silly. I was looking at you too." Her voice
was higher pitched than I would've liked, and I could understand why my
girl looked so annoyed talking to her. "Here... I wrote down my number for
you, so you could call if you're ever interested in a date or something."
"Oh," I hesitated to grab it, but then figured why not? I knew it wasn't
going to turn into anything, but maybe she would be a good fuck, get me
out of the rut I've been in for the past year. "Okay, I'll, uh, give you a call
then..."
"I look forward to it." She says perkily as she starts to walk backwards,
twirling her hair. I send her a tight-lipped smile and turn around to finally
leave.
I ended up calling her two nights after, ending with her underneath me,
high pitched moaning and nasally dirty talk threatening to soften me. It was
incredibly boring, missionary wasn't my favorite position. I could tell she
was vanilla, and liked a standard approach to sex, probably preferring to
call it 'making love' as opposed to 'fucking'.
 When we were finished, I got up quickly and started dressing myself. I
never wanted to be that dick, but I was suddenly feeling claustrophobic in
her small studio apartment, decked out in pastels and potted plants. I make
some excuse and I can see the disappointment in her face as I turn around to
leave. I feel guilt fill my chest, but bury it down.
It's rather dark by the time I exit her apartment building, heading straight
for my car. It's been a long time since I've enjoyed sex. I feel like I have
been stuck in this endless cycle of one-night stands and mindless blind
dates. Fucking the same type of women over and over again. It's become
monotonous, and every time it happens it feels less and less like it should.
It's been even longer since I have felt an attraction towards anyone. Not
in the physical sense - I'm constantly attracted to the female body,
sometimes even the male form - but in the personal connection sense. I
couldn't even remember what it felt like to feel emotionally close to another
human being like that.
That girl was beautiful. She should've felt great, and I couldn't really
blame her for it being such a waste of time. Except maybe her being a little
too vocal. I knew the problem was me. I rarely failed to get a woman off,
making sure she always enjoyed herself, but there was something wrong
with me, I knew that.
I turned the car around quickly and head in the direction of the gym,
needing to work off some of my frustrations. The gym closed about an hour
ago, but I had an after hours key. I parked and got my gym bag out of the
trunk, heading straight for the door. Right before I turn the key in the lock,
it opened on me.
I jumped back, startled at the sudden movement, the tinted windows
making it impossible to see inside.
"For fuck's sake!" I heard a voice say as they realized I stood on the other
side. My heart rate turned to normal as I took her in. There she was,
standing before me, my girl. The one I've never spoken to, the one I never
planned on speaking to. She was clutching her chest, phone in hand,
obviously scared at what just happened. I noticed she was clutching onto a
small bottle of mace with her other hand, smart of her to do when it's so
dark out, and we weren't particularly in the best part of town. She had her
dark hair in a messed up ponytail, and her face was makeup free. She was
still in her workout clothes, sweat pooling at the top of her grey sports bra,
and her skin glistening along her chest, forehead, and shoulders.
 "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be here." I apologize to her. My
mind is working overdrive. I've never been this close to her. I've never
noticed the pale blue color of her eyes, almost grey. It was such a stark
contrast to her dark locks and caramel skin tone.
"No, it's fine. I was too busy with my phone and I'm just super jumpy."
She laughs off, still calming herself down from the fright.
I'm surprised by her voice. It's deeper than I thought it was going to be,
but soft, almost calming. It was silky and sexy.
I chuckled a bit, "I can tell. You look like you had a small heart attack."
Her face went a little red, but she let out a real laugh this time. Her
cheeks puffed up and her eyes crinkled. A grin formed on my face and went
even wider when I noticed her eyes widen just a fraction. I saw her eyes
dart down my figure, back up to my face. I knew she was checking me out,
and, for some reason, I loved knowing she was.
I was certain she had never really paid any attention to me. I've never
caught her staring at me, and she had never even glanced at me when I was
looking at her. She probably didn't even know I existed before this moment.
She was always so focused while she was here, never really interacting with
anyone unless they started a conversation with her, and even then I noticed
she excused herself quite quickly from those.
"Um, I should head out." She says awkwardly, eyes turning down to the
floor.
"Right." I hold the door open and step to the side, so she can get out. She
murmurs a quiet thank you and starts walking out to the parking lot. I step
inside, keeping my eyes on her figure, and before I know it I'm calling out
to her, "Hey!" She turns around, confusion seeped in her features. "What's
your name?"
She hesitates for a moment, pale eyes narrowing before she answers,
"Emma."
I nod my head, "Okay, Emma. It was nice to meet you."
She raises her eyebrows at me and waits a few seconds before saying,
"You know, usually, this is the part where you tell me your name."
I breathe out a laugh, "Harry."
She nods and smiles, giving me a small wave, "Well, it was nice to
finally meet you, Harry."
With that she turns around and continues walking to her car, which for
some reason is all the way at the end of the lot. I don't want to seem like a
total creeper, so I step inside the gym, letting to door close behind me. I
watch her get to her car safely, not being able to stop myself from admiring
her body. She had a natural hourglass figure, wide hips and thick thighs, a
perfectly round butt. Her arms and shoulder looked strong. My mind drifted
to some very dirty places involving having her thighs wrapped around my
head, and her back flexing as I take her from behind.
I wait until she's driving away to head into the locker rooms and change.
I wasn't as frustrated as before, so I decided not to go to the ring and,
instead, found myself on a treadmill. As soon as my feet started moving,
my mind replayed our small conversation. I dissected every little bit of
information I had gathered from our two minutes together. Small habits I
had never noticed before, how she seemed both shy and outgoing, but
mostly her voice. The smooth, deep tone that reverberated throughout my
whole body. The words she chose to speak, her name so fittingly belonging
to her.
Then it hit me.
"Well, it was nice to finally meet you, Harry."
She said finally. Which means she has noticed me before. Have I just
always missed her gaze, not felt her eyes boring into the back of my head?
Does that mean she has noticed my staring?
I shake my head, trying desperately to calm my inner monologue, but it
doesn't seem to be working. I run harder, focusing on my breathing. I wasn't
use to this. These thoughts don't typically haunt me, and I'm not very happy
they're there.
Honestly, I wished I had never spoken to her.
†††
Wrapped up in my calculations at work, I didn't notice Mike walk into
my office without knocking. I was completely immersed in trying to find
the oddity that was making it impossible to balance my numbers before the
weekend. He sat down opposite of me, and waited for me to look up from
the papers scattered across my desk.
After a minute, Mike cleared his throat, making Harry whip his head up.
"Shit, when did you get here?"
He chuckled, "Like a minute ago. What are you working on?"
I sighed and sat back in my chair, "Just our quarterlies. Can't quite get it
to match, so I'm trying to figure out what was missed, going department by
department. Probably going to have to bring my work home this weekend."
 "Bummer. Hope it's nothing I did."
I laughed at him, "Nah, I checked your work first. Figured you were most
likely to make a mistake since you're always so tired lately."
A shit-eating grin split on his face, obviously happy with his
'predicament', "You know, if someone would've told me just how wild a
woman can get when she is trying to get knocked up, we would've started
years ago."
"Okay, I really don't need to hear anymore of your guys' sex life and
especially not Naomi's preferences." I grimaced. "What did you come up
here for?"
"Well," He began, "I wanted to see if you called that girl. Molly?"
I raised my eyebrow at him, "Um, yeah I did."
He perked up, "On a date? How was it?"
I sighed again at him, "I mean we just went for drinks and went back to
her place."
"Any chance of a second date?"
I gave Mike an annoyed glare. I was so sick of him, and everyone, trying
to meddle in my love life. I don't understand why everyone is so interested
in it.
"No."
He frowns, "Why not? I saw the way you were checking her out the other
day at the gym."
I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't correct his false assumption, "Not my
type. Now will you let me get back to work. I have to make some sort of
headway before we go to drinks later."
"Fine. I'll meet you downstairs at five-thirty?"
"Yeah, I'll be there. Can you send out the text to everyone?"
He nodded and left me to deal with my mess. Four hours later I was
walking out of the elevator and up to Mike. We made our way down the
block to our usual bar, hugging our coats as close to our bodies as possible
due to the extreme cold.
We both sighed in relief as we stepped in to the warmth. I spotted my
sister and a few of our friends already at a large booth. I point them out and
we start walking over to them.
"Where's Naomi?" I ask him before we get to the table.
"Well, she should be finishing up at the doctor's right about now."
I whip my head and look at him, "Wait, what? Is she pregnant?"
 "Don't know." He says with shrug, "We took, like, five tests and they
were all negative except one, so she booked an appointment while I was at
work to make sure. She said she would come by afterwards and let me
know."
I nodded, "Well, good luck, man. I'm rooting for you two."
Mike chuckled and nudged my shoulder, continuing to walk to our
friends, "Shut up. You just want to be a fun uncle to the kid."
"That's one hundred percent true. I'm spoiling the hell out of that guy as
soon as he enters the world." I joke with him, but really meaning it. I loved
kids, and have always wanted to be a dad, but with the way my love life is
going I probably wouldn't be fathering any children any time soon - hope to
god. My best chance was to be the fun uncle, and Mike and Naomi were the
first of my friends and siblings to be trying.
We greeted everyone as we sat down, me on the last booth seat and Mike
drawing two chairs for the end.
"Mike, Naomi showing up tonight?" My sister, Luanne, asked.
"Should be. How are you? Haven't seen you in what feels like forever."
He says, nodding at everyone else.
"I'm alright. Just spent the last two weeks in New York following around
a band that's about to hit it big. Article should be up in Rolling Stone print
in a month or two."
Oliver perked up, "Seriously?! Why didn't you tell us, Lu? You've only
done a few small articles online for them. This is huge!"
Luanne blushed a bit at his words, making me frown a bit. Luanne and
Oliver had always been a little too flirty for my liking. Oliver had gone to
school with me since we were fifteen and Luanne was thirteen. He's always
had a major crush on her, but never tried to pursue her out of respect for our
friendship. Not that Luanne really noticed. She was always out getting her
heartbroken by some random asshole every few months. The thing about Lu
was that she fell hard and fast, never safeguarding her heart - the exact
opposite of me.
Out of the four of us, I was always most protective of Lu. Jason and
Rebecca were older by a few years and closer, while Lu and I stuck together
as the babies of the family. Deep down I knew if Oliver ever came up to me
and confessed his feelings then I would be fine with it. I would definitely be
giving them a hard time and threaten my friend, but I knew Oliver was a
massively better man than any of the guys she ever sees.
 "I didn't want to say anything until I actually knew it was happening.
They sent me out as a practice run, maybe a piece for the site again, but
they liked it so much they decided to put it in print and asked me to
elaborate." I could tell she was holding back her pleased expression,
probably not wanting to brag.
"Lulu, that's awesome! We'll have to have a release party when it comes
out." I wrap my arm around her shoulder and squeeze her tight.
She wiggles out of my hold, making everyone at the table laugh. "Shut
up. You are not doing that. It's really not a big deal-"
"Yes it is, babe!" Maura yells across the table in her thick Irish accent.
"You should be proud! How many twenty-six year olds can say they write
for Rolling Stone magazine?!"
She smiles sheepishly, "None."
"Well, that settles that. I'll be hosting a party at my place in your honor.
I'll blow up a giant picture of you and spike the punch." I tease.
"Fine, but the only way I'm showing up is if you bring a date." She raises
her eyebrows at me, making Mike chuckle.
I groan exasperatedly, "Will you stop with that?"
"Stop with what?" Naomi asks as she saddles up to our table, kissing
Mike on the lips. I saw Mike immediately sit up straight, but his answer
was in the form of Naomi ordering a shot and a Long Island Ice Tea for
herself. I saw the disappointment littered on his face, both of them sharing
one look before he swallowed down his feelings.
"Oh, Lulu is still trying to bribe me into dating someone." I say, trying to
get their mind off it. I normally hate talking about this shit, but if it helps
two of my closest friends, then I'll offer myself up to the slaughterhouse.
"I am not bribing you, Harold. I am simply suggesting that you at least
try and date someone. Open yourself up a bit. It's been forever since you
had someone. I mean, you and Carla broke up like six years ago." Luanne
states.
I frown at the mention of Carla, not having thought about her in a very
long time, but before I could retort Mike jumped in, "Actually, he had a date
earlier this week. Beauty at the gym that I set him up with, but he says she's
not his type."
"Oh, really?" Naomi starts, "And what is our dear Harold's type?"
"Not her." I say monotonously.
 "She couldn't have been that bad." Oliver joins in, "What did you guys
do?"
I sat back and finished my beer, "Just went out for some drinks, and went
back to her place for a bit."
"Seriously, Harry? You just fucked her and left, didn't you?" Naomi gives
me a pointed look.
"Okay, I do not need to hear this. I'm heading to the restroom." Luanne
makes me move, so she can get out of listening to them talk about my sex
life. I was grateful she decided to excuse herself, because I knew the others
wouldn't be dropping this subject any time soon.
Oliver was the first to pry, "So, what was wrong with this one?" He was
used to my one-night stands, the only one I truly felt comfortable telling
what exactly was going on.
"Nothing really..." I sighed, looking down at my empty beer bottle, "Just
didn't feel anything. Could barely even go through with it. Her voice was
kind of annoying and she had the worst dirty talk. She was gorgeous, but
just didn't excite me."
"I don't get it, mate." Mike began, "You were drooling over her at the
gym-" His eyes go wide for a second as he realizes something. "Holy shit,
you weren't looking at her. It was the other girl! The brunette!"
My heartbeat picked up a bit at just the mention of her, "No. I told you I
wasn't even looking at anyone-"
"You're so full of shit. I had no clue it was Emma. She's nothing like the
usual girls you date."
I furrowed my brows at him and straightened up, "Wait, you know her?"
Oliver and Maura burst out laughing while Naomi grins mischievously
and says, "You just showed your cards, Styles. You've got your eye on
someone."
I groan at the table, "No, I really don't - I don't! I've just seen her around
the gym for a bit, and noticed how she never talks to anyone. Also, what do
you mean she's nothing like the usual girls I date?"
Maura rolls her eyes at me, "Probably means that you only sleep with
small, blonde girls you could pick up with your pinky. So, what does she
look like?"
"Well, she is gorgeous." Mike starts, "Dark hair, curvy... but she's a
heartbreaker. Turned down, like, five guys at the gym so far. I think she's
pretty shy too." He tells them. I'm confused as to how he knows all this, but
Naomi speaks before I get a chance.
"Maybe that's exactly what Harry needs."
"Okay, I'm still sitting right here." I interrupt their little conversation with
an annoyed tone.
"Look, Mate," Oliver begins, "we just think you need to put yourself out
there-"
"I have, literally, gone on every blind date you all have set me up on-"
"No, I mean in a different way. You date a lot and you fuck a lot, but you
never really give any of them a chance." He presses.
I'm actually getting annoyed at this conversation, fidgeting around a bit
as I try and find the best way out of this. "Are you suggesting I force myself
into liking any of them? I can't help it if I haven't found anyone I am even
remotely interested in since Carla. I'm not going to lead a girl on by going
on multiple dates when I know nothing is there."
"But that's why we want you to try it with this new girl." Naomi says.
"I don't feel anything for her either. She's no one. Just some girl at the
gym that I've seen around." The words felt bitter coming out of my mouth,
but I just brush it off. I'm thankful for Luanne's arrival, giving me a reason
to stand up and excuse myself to the bar. I lean on the practically empty bar
top and wave down the bartender. A dark-skinned girl comes up to me and
asks what I'm having. I decide to order something strong and watch her
walk away to make it at the end of the bar. I notice she starts to talk to a girl
sipping on a drink. They seem to be in a deep conversation, the girl
drinking complaining about something, looking quite miserable.
My heart stops for what feels like ten minutes when I recognize her. It's
her. She looks so different with her hair down, ending in the middle of her
back. She's dressed casually, black skinny jeans, a comfy t-shirt, and a
denim jacket. She brushes her hair out of her face and I see her prominent
frown, but I also see her rosy cheeks and plump lips. As if she feels my
gaze on her she turns to face me, and once again I'm staring at her striking
grey eyes. It takes her a second to place me, but when she does her
confused expression softens and she sends me a small wave.
I smile at her and return the gesture. I'm thinking of going over there, but
then I remember what it felt like that last time I spoke to her, no matter how
brief it was. I don't want that, so instead I graciously accept my drink and
make my way back to the table.
 Thankfully, they have moved on to a different topic, one that I could half-
ass join in on, so I had time to keep stealing glances. Most of the time,
Emma was enveloped in a deep conversation with the bartender, but twice I
caught her eyes. It was making me nervous, sitting here almost waiting for
something to happen when I knew I didn't want anything to happen. I
probably should've left early, but couldn't bring myself to leave. I waited
until the table was paying out, but when I tried to pay mine, our server said
it was taken care of. Everyone looked at me weird, but I just shrugged and
told her to thank whoever it was.
I was the last to leave, following Luanne. My eyes naturally landed on
the girl at the bar. Her eyes were already on mine as she watched me leave,
a small smile on her lips. I returned the smile and mouthed a 'thank you' in
her direction. She waved me off as if it was no big deal, and with a bit of
regret I exited the bar and made my way home.
Chapter Two

EMMA
I watched the kids as they loaded onto their buses, making sure
everything was protocol and no one was starting trouble. I watched as a boy
tugged on little Sally May's pigtails, and I could sense she was about to cry,
so I stepped forward.
"Eddie, that's not okay. You can't go around pulling people's hair." I say
sternly to the little boy who immediately looks ashamed. "Sally, wait there
for one moment, okay, darling?" She nods at me, tears already drying up as
I beckon Eddie over with my finger. Once he's in front of me I raise my
eyebrows at him, "Now, why did you do that?"
"I don't know..." The seven year old mumbles.
"You don't know? So your hand just acted completely on its own?" I ask
teasingly, changing my tactic so he would open up a bit more.
He smiles sheepishly at me, round cheeks turning red. "No..."
I crouch down to his level and smile at him, "Eddie, do you have a little
crush?"
He's now completely beet red and I would laugh if I wasn't supposed to
be disciplining the poor kid. "Ew, no! Girls are gross!" I just give him a
stern look, knowing that he's never been able to lie to an adult. "Fine, I
guess, maybe, maybe, I might like Sally..."
I held back another laugh, "So, why did you think it was okay to pull her
hair?"
"Because my parents told my older sister that when a boy picks on you
that means he likes you." He confesses.
I frown at this, annoyed at the irresponsibility of his parents. I know this
is a common sentiment shared by many people, but I've always found it
completely warped. "So you think it's okay to hurt Sally, because you like
her?"
 He looked up at me with his wide eyes, guilt written all over his young
face. "No, I never thought of it that way..."
"Well, how about this." I suggest with a kind face, so he wouldn't start
crying on me, "Why don't you start complementing her, be nice, play with
her during recess. Those sound a lot more fun to me." He nods vigorously.
"But first, you need to apologize to her, Okay?"
He immediately turns around and walks up to the disgruntled little girl
and says, "I'm sorry, Sally. I didn't mean to hurt you."
She looked at him with a pouty face, but ended up accepting his apology.
He ran off and I walked up to Molly. "Are you okay, Miss Sally?"
"Yeah..." She pouts.
"I don't think Eddie meant to hurt you." I say in a quiet voice.
She nods at me, "I know. It's okay, he said he was sorry."
I smile at her, "Well, that's good. Looks like your bus is going to be
leaving soon. Have a good night, Sally. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodbye, Ms. Everly."
I watch as she walks away and up the stairs of the bus. I turn around to
survey the scene around me. It's quickly emptying out now that most of the
busses have been boarded and left. I lean back against the wall with my
arms crossed, my thoughts interrupted by the last voice I want to hear.
"You know, you're really good with kids."
I glance over at the tall, skinny man standing beside me with a stupid
grin. "Well, I would hope so, since I'm a grade school teacher." I deadpan.
Jake sighs, "Emma, when are you going to forgive me. We can still be
friends, you know. Best friends."
My heart stung, not liking his words at all, "I don't want to be your
friend."
"Don't you think you're being a bit childish about this? I thought we both
agreed that if we didn't work out then we would keep this professional." His
voice sounded bored, like this was a waste of his time, only making me
angrier.
I narrowed my eyes at him, "Look, Jake, I am fine working at the same
school as you, I really am. I've been nothing but professional to both you
and Lauren, but that doesn't mean I have to be your friend. To be honest, the
last thing I want to be is your friend, let alone your best friend. So, please,
just let me be. I won't bug you and you won't bug me."
 "That's a little hypocritical coming from the girl who was practically
begging me to come back to her for months after we broke up."
I winced at the venom laced in his voice, knowing that his earlier attempt
at being 'friends' was a load a bull. I've always hated the way he turned
things around on me. He makes me seem like I was the one always reaching
out to him when he was just as guilty if not more for all of our hookups
after he broke up with me.
"And I'm the unprofessional one..." I mumble under my breathe still
watching the last of the students line up for their bus.
I hear Jake scoff next to me, but I ignore him once again, "Exactly the
reason I ended things. Can't get anywhere with you, so fucking closed off."
His voice was low so that none of the kids could overhear, his face close to
my ear, causing goosebumps to form down my neck - and not the good
kind.
Everything about him that I once loved now repulses me. He left me in
such a state of shambles when he broke up with me out of nowhere and then
used me for sex for the next three months. It was only when I had brought
up getting back together when he had told me about Lauren, a substitute
teacher that had been filling in for Mrs. Tawny when she had her hip
surgery. She was now highly requested from the teachers, because she did
such a good job, so she was at the school quite a lot. I actually really liked
Lauren. She was never anything but kind to me, and it's not like she knew
about Jake and I. We were keeping our relationship a secret from the kids
and the staff. It wasn't like we weren't allowed to date, but we knew that if
everyone found out it would be a whole thing. The kids would be super
excited, both Jake and I very popular amongst them, and the staff would be
a right pain in the ass.
"Alright, that looks like all of them. I've got to go. See you tomorrow,
Jake." I ignore his previous statement, and book it to my classroom, so I can
grab my stuff and head to the gym.
For the past three months the gym has been my safe place. Once I had
found out about Jake and Lauren, I needed to unwind. I needed to let my
frustrations out, and a friend of mine owns a smaller gym on the east side.
She convinced me to join, giving me a discount and an after-hours key that
usually requires a pretty rigorous application process to acquire. It had been
a long time since I had worked out, barely even knowing where to start
when I showed up on my first day.
 I talked with one of their trainers and he explained a few of the
equipment pieces to me, and how to properly sign up for classes using their
app. I wasn't looking to really lose weight, or anything, so I just did
whatever I was feeling that day. Today I needed to run. I used to run cross
country in school, and whenever there was anything wrong with my life
always felt a sense of relief when I ran.
I walked into the gym with my bag over my shoulder, work clothes still
on, and made my way to the locker room to change. I surveyed the large
open space, noticing Molly on the elliptical, deciding silently to stay away
from her. I saw some of the regulars on weight machines, not knowing the
name of any of them, and then my eyes landing on the boxing ring. It was
empty today, making me frown. It was almost always being used by those
two guys, one that I now know as Harry.
When I heard the light punching noises, I shifted my focus to the area
next to the ring, a little matted area that was for training. He was by himself
today, going at it at a punching bag. The grey t-shirt he was wearing was
drenched in sweat, sticking to his toned back as he moved quickly and
powerfully. It looked like he had been there for a while, when he stopped
and reached for his water bottle, finishing it off in seconds.
Our eyes met as he set his empty bottle down. Neither of us divert our
gazes right away. We hold each other's interest until I decide to breakaway,
by entering the locker room. I change fairly quickly, opting for plain black
yoga pants, black sports bra, and a cropped Adidas shirt over it. After
locking up my belongings, grabbing my water bottle, I trudged out to the
gym.
My eyes immediately drift to the punching bag, but it's stands by itself. I
look around to see him filling up his water bottle, still breathing heavy from
his workout. My heart rate picks up a bit as I walk towards him. I'm slightly
annoyed at the feeling, but ignore it as I wait to fill my bottle up.
His head turns when he feels my presence behind him. He turns to his
side to give me a small smile and head nod, which I return. He takes his
now filled water and gestures for me to step up to the fountain. I'm
surprised that he doesn't leave right then, instead taking a long gulp of water
and saying, "Thanks, um, for the drinks last weekend."
I turned to him and leaned against the wall casually. "Your welcome."
He hesitates before asking, "Why?"
 I cock my head and furrow my brows, not really knowing how to answer
his question. I don't know why I did it, to be honest. It just felt like the right
thing to do at the time. I just merely shrugged and answered, "Why not?"
The corners of his lips turned up just in the slightest, "That's not really an
answer."
I breathe out a laugh, "Why does everything need an answer?"
He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it as he ponders my
answer.
I smirk at him and tease, "Ah, I got you there, didn't I?"
He bites his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling, and shakes his head
at the ground. I'm so focused on the way his lip fits in his teeth, puffed and
pink, so ready to be plucked from its cage. I could very easily reach my
thumb up and strum it out, but I stop myself, knowing that that would be
way too inappropriate. My eyes leave his lips to meet his green eyes. I
could sense he knew what I was staring at, just like he had that night I had
basically ran into him. He didn't hide the pleased look on his face, which
kind of annoyed me, more because of how stupidly attractive he looked
right now.
"Alright, well, I'm gonna go... see you around, Harry." I say as I twist the
cap of my water on and head over to the far side of the of the gym where
the treadmills are. I pick my favorite one and adjusted the levels, starting
off slower and then eventually building up.
Annoyingly, my eyes kept glancing back over to him. I don't know why,
and I really wish I could stop, but I just couldn't. He was currently doing
another round against the punching bag, my view disrupted by weight
machines and the ring. I huffed as I turned my attention forward and
bumped up the speed.
I would be lying if I said I hadn't noticed him before. He was hard to
miss, seeing as he always seemed to be around. He was one of the friendly
ones in the gym, the type to know people and to help out if they looked like
they needed a spot or were newer and didn't know how to use equipment.
But he was always polite about it, not like those guys who would see a girl
and immediately explain how to use the machine or tell her her form is
wrong.
I had seen him talk to practically everyone, mostly his friend Mike, who I
actually did like after he had helped me out of a situation with a rather
aggressive male ego who kept bugging me. He never approached me,
however, something I appreciated and respected. I liked to believe he read
my body language, and could tell I hated it when people approached me.
It felt different now. Ever since that two minute conversation that night,
he had invaded my thoughts. As much as I hated my conscious for doing
this to me, I completely understand why.
Harry was fucking hot.
Like actually ridiculously, stupid hot. It's been almost half a year since
I've gotten any, Jake being the last to have touched me in that way. It didn't
help that he looked so irrestible when he was sweaty, especially when he
was boxing. His face would turn from the kind, sometimes contemplative or
stressed looked he can get, to a fierce, powerful look.
It honestly makes me want to rip his clothes off.
And on top of all that, there were the conversations I've overheard in the
locker room of girls talking about him. Apparently, he's been around the
block when it comes to the female population, and from what I've
overheard, he's very good at what he does. The whispers don't dissuade me,
however. It's not like I was going to actually sleep with him. I was just
horny and my fingers and vibrator weren't quite getting me off like I felt I
needed.
I was way too nervous to initiate anything when it came to casually
sleeping with someone. I wasn't going to go in for the kiss first, or try and
seduce anyone into my bed. I wasn't good at that shit, and I certainly wasn't
confident enough for that. And I was pretty sure Harry wouldn't be making
a move anytime soon, knowing I liked to keep to myself.
I don't even know why I'm thinking this hard about it. There's not a
chance in the fucking world that it would ever happen, and I'm not
emotionally ready to start anything or sleep with anyone after Jake.
I looked down at my stats and realize I have been running for over an
hour. I stop abruptly, walking it out, hands raised up, fingers locking behind
my head. I haven't run that long in a while. I had gotten completely stuck in
my thoughts, not realizing I was pushing myself too far.
I grasped my water and took a big gulp, breathing heavy afterwards. I sat
down on an unoccupied bench, resting my elbows on my knees. After a
while, my heart rate went down, and my lungs didn't feel like they were on
fire, so I lifted up my head. Instinctively, I looked to my left and saw Harry
doing some leg presses on a machine. His eyes were locked on me, a stern
look on his face. It made me uncomfortable, so I stood up, wiped off the
treadmill with a sanitary wipe, and headed back to the women's locker
room. I passed Harry, but kept my eyes strictly on the floor in front of me.
Once inside, I felt like I could breathe again. Giving myself a minute or
two to collect myself before I unlocked my locker and grabbed my face
wipes to take off my makeup. Stepping into the shower felt refreshing and
much needed, like I was rebooting my mind.
I checked the time when I got out, realizing it was almost seven and I had
homework to grade and I still needed to have dinner. Walking out, I dialed
Millie to see if she wanted to come over for dinner. I had pasta on the brain
and knew Millie was struggling for money right now, and would probably
go the night without dinner if I didn't make it for her. And there was no way
I would let a pregnant woman starve.
†††
"This is delicious, Emma. Thank you so much!"
I waved Millie off, "No worries, you know I always make way too much
and never eat my leftovers." I would never let her know I always make
extra for her, seeing as pride is what has gotten her into this mess. "How's
the kiddo doing in there?"
She smiles brightly, "Good. Just had an ultrasound yesterday. Do you
want to see?"
"Of course I do!" I quickly move to her side and wait patiently for her to
slip it out of her purse. She brings the little black and white photo in front of
me and I'm immediately holding back tears. In front of me is a black and
white photo her baby. "Fuck, I'm gonna cry."
"No, you're not! If you cry, I'll start!" Millie says while laughing at my
sudden emotion.
"I can't help it! I just can't wait until this little one gets here. I'm going to
shower her with gifts!" I get up and take my empty plate to the kitchen.
"Emma, you really shouldn't. Don't spend your money on us. Save it for
that house you're always talking about buying. You can't be out buying
things for a kid who will grow out of it in like a month. And it's not like you
have all the money in the world, you're a public school teacher, for christ
sake." She chastises me.
I ignore her and continue on, "But I've got to spoil the kiddo! Lord knows
I won't be having children anytime soon."
Millie cocks her head and gives me a sympathetic look. "How has it been
working with him?"
 I sigh, "Working is fine, that's not the issue. It's when he tries to talk to
me, tries to insist we can still be friends after everything and then tries to
turn it against me when I say I'm not interested. He's just trying to keep his
hooks in me, in case everything falls through with Lauren. Don't blame him
either, I mean, I let him use me for sex for three months after he broke my
heart."
"That bastard. I swear I would go down to that school and smack the shit
out of him if you would let me."
I burst out laughing at the image of a very pregnant Millie walking up to
Jake and slapping him in front of his students. "Oh, believe me, I wish you
would. That would genuinely make my life. Except, you know, when I get
fired for letting you do that."
"Well, I would never have to mention your name. We can make this a
stealth operation. I go in, smack, and I'm out. He doesn't even know what I
look like since he never came over to your place, so we are totally in the
clear. Full-proof plan." She looked at me expectantly, as if I would actually
agree to this.
"As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, I think we'll have to cancel
the mission and act like the bigger people in the situation."
"Ugh, that's no fun." She grumbles and takes her last bite of food. "At
least let me try and find a guy for you-"
"No, I'm not ready for that." I insist, brushing her off quickly so she
doesn't get any ideas.
"Not to date! You just need a good fuck to remind yourself that Jake isn't
the end-all-be-all to sex. Didn't you tell me once that you faked a lot of the
time anyways?" She questions, waddling up to me with her empty plate.
I take it from her chubby hands and start to wash it. I sigh before
answering, "Yeah, the sex was fine, probably the best I've ever experienced,
but it was always the same."
"Always the same what?" Millie implores, leaning on the counter with
her big brown eyes staring up at me curiously.
"Always missionary, always the same foreplay. He had control issues, so
he liked to dominate, but in a very passive way. I once asked him to spank
me, and he acted like I was crazy for suggesting it." That was always the
one complaint I had in our relationship. I wanted to experiment in the
bedroom, get rough or frisky, maybe even some role-play, but Jake always
said no. He liked it the vanilla way.
 "Holy shit, you're a kinky one aren't you?" She exclaimed.
I laugh at her, "No, I mean... I don't know... I've never gotten the chance
to be like that. Before Jake it was just one-night stands here and there, and
before that was my high school boyfriend who could barely last five
minutes inside me, and neither of us had any clue what we were doing."
She hums at my answer, "Understandable. I don't see anything wrong
with it, but you should be careful with the guys who like kinky shit like
that. Asher was like that and look at me now."
I give her a look, "No offense, Millie, but I don't think him handcuffing
you to the bed is what made him a loser baby daddy. It's more the fact his
name is Asher that should've been the red flag."
Millie starts laughing, not expecting me to say that. I watch as the young
girl gathers herself, grateful that she is in such high spirits when I know just
how hard it would be to be in her position.
"So, there really isn't anyone you even remotely find attractive to maybe
fuck in the bathroom of a bar?"
I look over at Millie with amusement in my eyes, "No, not really."
She perks up suddenly, "Wait, you didn't sound so sure of yourself just
then."
"What? Yes, I am-"
"Why do you have that deer-in-the-headlights look going on right now,
huh? Oh my god, there is someone you fancy!"
"Jesus, will you calm down. Mrs. Aster will be banging on my door to
shut up if you keep going on like that."
She narrows her eyes at me. "If you don't tell me right now who you're
thinking about-"
"Who says I'm thinking of anyone right now?"
She gives me a knowing look, and I can't help but blush a bit at the fact
that I was thinking of a guy. Not just a guy, but Harry. The moment she
suggested I fuck someone to get over Jake, my mind flashed with pictures
of him going at it at a punching bag, lifting heavy weights, or running
shirtless on the treadmill.
"See! You're imagining him naked right this second! I can see it in your
eyes!"
"Okay, okay, if I tell you will you be quiet?" I ask her hurriedly, knowing
Mrs. Aster is already on her way up to yell at me.
"Yes, I promise." She whispers.
 I roll my eyes at her shit-eating grin, "His name's Harry and he goes to
my gym."
Millie's jaw drops, "But you always tell me about the annoying guys who
hit on you there, and you've mentioned several times that you would never
date a gym rat."
"Yeah, I know. And I wouldn't date a gym rat, but we're just talking about
fucking, right?" I groan, "Millie, you should see him when he's boxing. I
literally almost faint every time. He's so incredibly hot, sweaty, and also
nice. He's friendly with everyone, but he's never talked to me before."
"Alright, I'm invested, keep going." I set a thing of tea in front of her, our
nightly tradition.
"Well, we ran into each other when I was working out after hours, and we
introduced ourselves. Nothing happened, just super friendly, but then a few
days later I see him at the bar. I went in to talk to Clarice, since it's been a
while since I've gotten the chance to see her. He came up to the bar and just
smiled and waved, so I bought his drinks, and that was it. No words, no
nothing. Then earlier today we were at the gym and were filling up our
water bottles at the same time, and he thanked me for the drinks, we
might've gotten a little flirty, but, again, nothing progressed. I don't even
want anything to progress, I'm so completely out of his league." I finish,
blowing on my tea to cool it down.
"Um, shut the hell up, you are out of no one's league, Emma. You're hot
as hell and you don't even realize it. I bet this guy has been day-dreaming
about you riding him with on the bench press." She teases.
I chuckle, "I really don't think so. I don't even think I'm his type. I've
heard rumors of him getting around and all the girls that talk about it are
blonde and super thin. I don't really fit that mold."
"Well, you're never going to find out if you don't make a move." Millie
raises her eyebrows at me.
"Nuh-uh, there is absolutely no way I am putting myself out there like
that." I insist, finally able to drink my black tea.
She shakes her head at me, "I swear, you are so frustrating sometimes.
You're so uber confident about everything except men. Like you have no
problem discipling children, or standing up for your friends, or spending all
your money on groceries so you can feed the pathetic pregnant girl two
doors down and pretend like you cook a ton of food by accident when
you're really just trying to make sure I don't starve me and my baby, but the
moment a guy enters the picture, you're this insecure girl who never figured
out she is like the hottest one in the room!"
I am a little stunned by her outburst, one, because of her thinking that
highly of me, two, because she knows that I purposefully cook more food
so she doesn't go a day without eating.
"Okay, that seems a bit much, but thank you. I'm still not putting myself
out there though."
She groans at my stubbornness, "One of these days you're going to regret
not taking that chance."
I look over at her and frown. She's probably right, but I just don't know
how to get over that fear. I've always felt it. Since I was a child I have
always been insecure about the way I look, and I never really grew out of it.
I don't know if that's ever something I'll get over.
Chapter Three

EMMA
This has probably been the worst week I've had in a long time.
It was like the universe was against me in every single way. It started on
Monday when I had found out my classroom neighbor, a kind old man who
often sat with me at lunch and gave great advice, was out on vacation for a
week, and Lauren would be replacing him. I don't have anything against
Lauren, in fact I really like the girl. She was a bit younger than me, just
starting her teaching career, so she liked to ask my advice whenever a
problem arose, probably because she felt more comfortable asking me than
some of the older or tenured teachers.
It had nothing really to do with her being there, it was the fact that Jake
liked to spend his free time with her. This meant that I was forced to have
lunch with the both of them when he walked into my classroom, just as he
used to, after Lauren had suggested we eat together. She had no clue that he
was my ex, and I didn't want to make things weird between us, so I just sat
quiet, only answering questions when directed towards me. Jake acted like
he barely knew me, which normally wouldn't bother me, but it did when he
could barely keep his hands off the girl he had left me for.
Tuesday I got stuck on recess duty with the two of them. It was like a
cruel joke. I was lucky enough that they weren't allowed to be all touchy-
feely with each other, but Jake had tried talking to me, once again, about
being friends, citing the fact that we got along perfectly well yesterday
during lunch. What he didn't know was that I ended up running eight miles
on the treadmill that day and cried in the shower like a pathetic loser.
Wednesday I found out that Millie might have some complications during
birth. Through the past three years of being her neighbor, I found myself
thinking of her like a sister. It only grew when she came to me, a crying
mess, telling me she was pregnant seven months ago. Her situation was so
similar to my mothers when she got pregnant with me that I felt the need to
protect her. She barely had any money, and I had quit my second job as a
bartender, so that she could get hired there. I made my boss promise that
she would give her a shot, and thankfully she turned out to be a pretty good
bartender.
With her belly growing and her stamina lessening, though, she has had to
cut down on some hours, the doctor suggesting to take it easier, which was
impossible for her to do in her position. She barely had any money as is,
and I knew she was freaking out about the baby arriving and not being able
to care for her properly. I had talked to my mom about helping her out, and
she agreed to babysit for free when needed. I hadn't told Millie this yet,
knowing her pride was keeping her from getting the help she needed. She
hadn't even told her mom and dad that the guy they disapproved so much of
had knocked her up and left her.
She told me she hadn't seen them in months, and it honestly broke my
heart. I don't know what I would do without my mom, and I could never
imagine her taking that type of news in a bad way. All of this made me feel
responsible for Millie, and to hear that there could be some complications
that could result in a higher bill for her, or something much much worse
was keeping me up that night
I barely got any sleep that night, finally deciding to head to the gym
around ten. Even though I would never say it out loud, I was genuinely
disappointed when I didn't see him there. I hadn't seen Harry at the gym the
past few days, which I found weird, because he seemed to always stick to
his schedule. I also found myself in an increasingly bad mood every time I
left without seeing him. I don't even know why I'm thinking so much about
him. I already decided I wasn't going to go for him, there was really no
point, yet I couldn't stop wishing he was there.
Thursday made me think even more of the man when I see his friend,
Mike, boxing by himself. I almost had half a mind to go up to him and ask
about Harry, but I thought better of it. I didn't want to seem like a desperate
weirdo. Honestly, I was starting to think I was one. Or maybe I was just sex
deprived.
On Friday Lauren tried to invite me out to a local comedy club with her,
Jake, and a few of their friends, but I declined, telling her I already had
plans. She pouted and was determined to convince me, which made me
annoyed. One of my least favorite things in the world was when I would not
want to do something and someone felt they needed to convince me. If I
wanted to do it then I would've said yes in the first place.
My plans ended up being a two-hour gym session. I didn't see Harry or
his friend, only worsening my mood. It got worse when I got stuck talking
to Molly, the perky blonde girl who I had overheard talking about having
sex with Harry in the locker room. She needed a spotter for some weights,
but I ended up having to listen to her talk about him. She seemed nice
enough, just very energetic and a little self-absorbed. I politely engaged in
conversation, so as not to seem rude, but when she followed me to the
showers and continued to talk to me through the flimsy curtain I nearly lost
it.
She told me that her and Harry hooked up yesterday after they ran into
each other at the gym. I silently wondered how I kept missing him,
considering we had seen each other almost every day for the past three
months.
"Honestly, I don't know what he really wants from me. Last time he left
in such a hurry, but last night he was so desperate to get his hands on me.
He's just so hot and cold."
I finished washing the soap off my body and turned the shower off,
grabbing my towel to dry me off while she continued to talk.
"It wouldn't be so annoying if he wasn't so good. I mean, fuck, he's the
biggest I've ever had and both times he's gotten me off. Didn't even need to
fake it! Like, how do you let a guy like that go? I don't think he's the
relationship type, though... Did you hear what Morgan said about him?"
I looked over at her as I tugged on some comfy sweats. "I heard they
hooked up?"
"Apparently a couple times, and every time he made up some excuse to
leave. And when she asked him out on a date, he said no. I mean, who says
no to Morgan. She's gorgeous!"
I shrug, "Is she the one with the shoulder tattoo?"
"Yes, and you would think that he likes that shit, considering he's got like
fifty tattoos himself." She was working herself up at this point, while I tried
to stay as neutral as possible. I didn't particularly like hearing about all the
girls he went after, especially since I was not one of them.
"Honestly, do you want to know my opinion?" I ask her as I pack up the
last of my stuff.
 "Yes, of course I do." Molly says, "That's why I'm confiding in you. You
seem all mature and like you can give good advice when it comes to stuff
like this."
I snort at her assumption, "Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure about that. I think
this guy doesn't give a shit about you, Morgan, or any of these other girls he
sleeps with. He's either a sex addict, or he's desperately trying to find a
connection with someone. And you would know if he found it with you."
"How would I know, though?" She asks in a quiet voice.
I pull my gym bag over my shoulder, "He would've stayed in bed with
you."
She frowns at me, brushing her hair, "Well, what should I do?"
"Do whatever you want. Keep sleeping with him if it's that good, but just
know that that's all it is: sex." I say before giving her a tight-lipped smile.
I head out as quickly as possible, not wanting to be here for any longer
than I have to be. I was struck at the thought, the first time I had felt that
way since coming here, and strangely I knew it had everything to do with
him.
I actually woke up in a not too bad of a mood on Saturday. I ended up
signing up for a yoga class in the afternoon, walking in and looking around,
hoping to see the familiar head of brunette curls, but left with a sinking
feeling when I realized I missed him again.
I tried to keep my day busy. Millie was working, as well as my other
friends from the bar, seeing as it was Saturday, and my mom was out of
town. I laid out my lesson plan for the next week, making sure I had
everything covered. I found myself thinking about how so many of my
friends were just people I met through Jake. All of them having no problem
cutting me out of their lives once he did. It made me feel alone and slightly
isolated, not being able to spend my weekends with the people I surrounded
myself with for two full years, people I thought were genuinely my friends.
It was a boring Saturday, once I got my work done I sat back and
watched tv. I was only interrupted when my phone rang. My ears perked up,
desperate for something to do. I looked at my caller I.D. Quickly only to
feel my heart sink when I saw the name of the one person I didn't want to
hear from. I ignored his call and went back to mindlessly watching tv. It
wasn't until the fourth time he rang did I decide to pick up and get this
conversation over with.
"Hello?" I asked annoyed.
 "Hey, baby." I hear jake's voice slur into my ear.
I groan as my heart beats painfully. This was just how he greeted me
every time he wanted sex from me.
"What do you want, Jake?"
"You. What are you doing right now?"
I rolled my eyes, "Where's your girlfriend? I'm sure she would be happy
to help you out."
"But she's not you."
I shut my eyes tight. As much as I wish I could be completely over him, I
wasn't, and just hearing him say these types of things cut open my healing
wounds.
"We're over, Jake. You decided you didn't want me. You can't just call me
and expect me to help you cheat on Lauren. She's a sweet girl, she doesn't
deserve this." I say with as much strength as I can muster.
"She is a sweet girl." I can't help the grimace on my face when he says
this, "She's everything I've ever wanted from a girl, but the sex... It's not
what we had."
I swallow harshly, "That's really none of my business. We're over."
"You know, sometimes I wish I could merge you two. Have her
personality, her soft little touches, keep our deep conversations, but with
you're body and the mind blowing sex we have. Have her meet my parents
while you wait in my bed."
Okay, I'm not going to lie: that one hurt. He basically just admitted to
wanting nothing to do with me but sex. Like there was something wrong
with my personality, like I never gave him soft little touches, like we never
had deep conversations. In our two years together, he had never even
attempted to introduce me to his parents. About a year in I started asking
him about it, but he always made up some excuse.
I realize now he never felt what I had. He probably didn't even like me
from the start. The entire time we were together was just a waste of time. I
felt my heart start to sink in on itself, and my eyes begin to water.
"Yeah, well you don't get that. For the last time, Jake: we are over. Stop
calling me, stop trying to be my friend at work, just stop, please." My voice
began to waver, but I swallowed down my pain as best I could.
"Fuck, are you crying? I'm not good when you cry, you know that." His
voice slurred.
 "Wow, your compassion is astounding." I deadpan as best as I can, while
I try and hold back the tears threatening to cascade down my cheeks.
"Goodbye, Jake. Don't call me again."
I hung up before he got a chance to say anything, burying my head in my
hands. I squeeze my eyes shut, but nothing stopped the pathetic sobs
coming out of my mouth. I thought I was over this stage, but hearing his
drunken words brought everything back to me. It was like he just broke my
heart out of nowhere again.
I spent the next hour calming myself down, I even made myself my
mom's special tea. The only comforting thought was that I was strong
enough to say no. Not even three months ago would I probably been able to
do that. I didn't want Jake anymore, that was clear, yet it still hurt. It hurt to
hear what he really thought of me, it hurt to hear that I was nothing but a
body to him, it just hurt to hear.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had packed my gym bag and made my
way out the door. I hadn't even checked the time before I tried to open the
main doors. I was startled to find them locked, but then took out my after-
hours key and made my way in. Relief flooded me as I saw I was alone. I
didn't want anyone around, and I knew only maybe ten people had been
approved for a late-night key.
Immediately, I went behind the front desk and made sure their Bluetooth
was on so I could play my own music. I decided on playing some 70s rock.
A mixture of Fleetwood Mac, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, and Queen
blasted through the speakers as I started my run.
Once I got to half a mile, everything started to slip away. My mind went
blank as I focused on my breath. I did this for an hour before I needed to
stop and catch my breathe. Leaning against the wall, breathing heavily into
it while my forehead rested on my forearms, I started to get a weird feeling.
I turned around and opened my eyes only to be met with the striking green
ones that I've missed all week.
Instantly I grabbed my phone and paused my music.
"Sorry-" I raise my voice so he can hear me properly, but he cuts me off.
"You can keep it on. I like that song."
His voice sends a current down my body, the raspiness calming, yet
arousing. I was reminded why I had missed his presence so much. He had
this affect on my body that I had never felt before. He was just as good of a
distraction as running was.
 That made me nervous.
He shouldn't feel that way. I don't know him, I've had two conversations
with him, and who's to say he wouldn't use me and throw me out like Jake.
I nodded curtly, deciding not to start a conversation I didn't need. I
pressed play and went back to the treadmill, turning it down just a bit, and
hopping back on it. I tried to drown out my thoughts, but this time it seemed
more difficult.
I kept glancing back at Harry, who had taken up his usual space by the
punching bag. I watched as he focused in on it and began his drills. He
seemed much more aggressive than normal, the sound emanating from his
gloves and the bag echoing through the empty gym every time the music
quieted. I took in his appearance a bit more, he seemed to hold a lot of
tension in his shoulders, only noticeable when he would step away for a
breather. His eyes never focused on anything other than the bag in front of
him, obviously lost in his thoughts.
It dawned on me that Harry probably used boxing just as I used running:
as a way to expel stress and anxiety. Harry didn't seem like the regular 'gym
rat' type I had encountered here. Most of those guys focused on bulking up
and working out shirtless, but Harry, I noticed, focused more on technique.
He wasn't bulky, but it was easy to tell he was fit. He didn't hit on woman,
he let them make the first move.
My mind wandered to that aspect of his life. It was clear he wasn't
looking for a girlfriend, from what I had heard from Molly. I didn't consider
that a bad thing, honestly maybe that was something I should be trying.
Maybe Millie was right in trying to get me out there. I need to get over this
ridiculous fear of rejection. It's not like waiting for the guy to make a move
ever worked in my favor. I let Jake come to me, for christ's sake.
I looked back over to him to see him glancing at me. We hold eye contact
for a second before I look forward, suddenly out of breathe. I glanced down
and realize I had run for another five miles, on top of the eight I did
previously. I stopped the treadmill, slowing my running to a fast walk, and
then hop off. I pace the area, catching my breathe, lungs on fire as I finally
realize how much I pushed myself today. I felt a little woozy, so I sat down
on a bench and rested my elbows on my knees.
I stay like this for probably ten minutes before I glance back up, to see
Harry watching me closely as he cools down. Once again, neither of us
break eye contact. There's a weird sort of tension in the air between us, both
trying to figure the other out. I can't tell if he's watching me to make sure
I'm okay or whether it's because he's interested. This is my problem. I never
know why a guy is looking at me. It's too hard to tell, and Harry doesn't
have a lustful look in his eyes or anything, it's more like he's confused.
By this time, he's drenched his shirt in sweat. It's sticking to his defined
abs very nicely, making my heart beat a little faster. I try and shake the
thoughts and images popping up in my head, but it seems to be futile. It
really has been too long. I'm totally over-thinking this. It wouldn't be Harry
using my body for his pleasure, it would be me using his body for pleasure.
Just a one time thing was all I needed. Something to remind me that there
was nothing special about Jake and his dick.
His eyes leave mine when he starts to pack up. He glances up at me one
more time before he heads into the men's locker room to, I assume, take a
shower.
This leads my thoughts to him stripping down, Molly's words repeating
in my head about how he always gets the girl off. I stand up to gather my
stuff, deciding to take a shower myself seeing as I was covered in sweat
from the over ten miles I ran tonight.
I walk into the locker room and put my stuff away, heading towards the
shower with a fresh towel. I stare at the empty stall, picturing Harry with
water sliding down his back, and his hardened length in his hand as he
pleasures himself.
With my heart beating and a heated core I turn around, head towards the
door and say, "Fuck it."
Chapter Four

HARRY
It was a really stressful week at work. I ended up fixing a lot of people's
mistakes and I had to let go of one of my team. It felt like all my anxiety
was building on top of me, ready to bury me the moment I couldn't take it
any longer.
I drowned in my paperwork and suffered through meetings, staying late
to fix others mistakes, arriving at the gym late, not being able to go about
my regular routine with Mike.
I also hadn't seen her all week.
I would arrive two hours later than usual and find my eyes automatically
trying to locate her, my heart sinking when realizing she wasn't there. I
don't know when this weird dependency of her had started, but I found it
increasingly pissing me off. It was like she was a safety net, something
familiar for me, but now that she wasn't here, in a week where I could've
used her presence, I almost felt betrayed.
It made no sense to me. I don't know her, the most I know is her name
and her workout habits, yet for some reason I'm stuck thinking about her all
the time. It consumes me so much that by Tuesday, after two days of
missing her, I found myself texting an old fling, and within the hour I was
at her place with her lips wrapped around my cock. I tried to focus on her,
but my mind kept slipping away, surrounded by work, numbers, and a girl I
wanted nothing to do with. We didn't end up doing much that night. I let her
finish me off in her mouth, and then I went down on her to return the favor.
I repeated this new routine all week, but with a different person every
day. Wednesday I found myself fucking a guy in the bathroom at a bar,
Thursday I let Molly ride me and listened to her high pitched moaning after
I spent a whole gym session showing her how to use certain machines, and
Friday was the worst. I actually failed to stay hard while a girl was going
down on me. It was probably the single most embarrassing moment in my
sex life. I was just too stressed and anxious to enjoy anything and every girl
I had been with felt worse than the last.
I was drowning.
I ended up taking home my work for the weekend, spending a full nine
hours finishing what I couldn't through my work week. I was exhausted,
tossing and turning the night before only to fall asleep in the wee hours of
the morning and wake up far too late. Once I finished, I did feel a little
relief, but groaned when I remembered I would be going back for another
horrible week in a day.
Looking at the clock I saw that it was ten o'clock, so I decided to go to
the gym to try and tire me out, so maybe I could actually enjoy some sleep
tonight.
I pulled up and found myself unlocking the door. I was immediately hit
with loud music playing through the bluetooth. You were only allowed to
play your personal musical during after-hours and if no one else was
around. I internally groaned, annoyed that I won't get some alone time, but
somewhat pleased that they were playing 70's rock. I start to walk towards
the ring, but stop when I see her.
After a full week of wondering about her, there she was, leaning against
the wall, trying desperately to catch her breathe. The treadmill in front of
her was still going at a high speed, and I stare at the sweat glistening off her
shoulders, imagine myself pulling at her messy ponytail while taking her
against that wall. I shake my head, trying to rid her from my thoughts, and
start walking to my corner once again, my eyes still on her.
It was then when her eyes opened and immediately landed on mine. It
takes her a second to realize what's going on, but when she does she steps
forward, grabs her phone, and turns off her music.
"Sorry-" She begins to say in a loud voice so it carries over to me, but I
cut her off.
"You can keep it on. I like the song."
She looks at me for a moment to judge whether I mean what I said, or I'm
just trying to be nice. She seemed a little colder than usual, but then I
remembered that she tended to run a lot whenever she was having a bad
day. She nodded her head and turned her music back on. She kept her eyes
off me as she slowed the machine down and got back on, deciding to keep
running.
 Silently I wondered how long she had been here. I knew she could run
for long periods, but I rarely saw her get back on the treadmill after she had
taken a breather. I tried to focus on my task, pulling on my boxing gloves
and doing some quick warmups. I kept glancing over to her though,
checking to make sure she was still there. It was slightly comforting to
know that she was in the same room, especially after not having her near
me for so long.
I began hitting the punching bag as hard as I could, keeping light on my
feet as a moved around, doing my own little drills. I focused in on what I
was doing, as if each punch forced out more and more of my anxiety. I felt
the stress in my shoulders exit slowly and even found myself not thinking
of Emma as much.
Giving myself a little bit of a break, I glanced back over at her to see her
looking at me. After a few seconds of intense eye contact I watch as she
slows down and jumps off her treadmill, trying to catch her breathe. It's
almost as if everything had caught up to her at once. I kept my eyes on her,
making sure she was okay.
I absentmindedly punched the bag in front of me as I see her pace, and
eventually sit on a bench with her head in her hands. I can see clearly now
the stress she's holding in her body, her entire frame tense, even her feet as
one of her heels bounces rapidly. I take this time to look her over. My mind
starts to wonder what is going on in her life that brings her here.
It's so obvious how much she clings to this place as a way to get through
the day. Especially on her bad days when her eyes glaze over and she can't
focus on anything. I feel the need to talk to her more and more, but I don't
want to cross that line. I don't even know why I feel this way at all. Do I
want to sleep with her? Just so it turns out to be mediocre, because of my
lack of connection to it?
I shake my thoughts, but they consume my mind once again when her
head comes up and our eyes meet again. Neither of us look away from each
other, and I feel an electric current charge the air between us. It's such a
strange feeling, to be fully consumed by a person you don't know. It's
unnerving but comfortable at the same time.
As goosebumps form on my arms, I decide to take myself out of this
strange equation. My eyes left hers as I packed up my equipment and made
my way to the locker room. I started the shower, letting the water heat up as
I stripped down, peeling my sweaty shirt off my body. I desperately tried to
keep my mind off of her, instead thinking about any of the other girls I had
this week. The last thing I wanted was to get myself off in the shower of my
gym. I've been rather pathetic this week, and I really don't need to top it off
by masturbating to a girl just outside the door.
I step under the hot stream of water, soaking my hair, and take a deep
breathe. I try and clear my mind, focusing on the way the water feels hitting
my body. I turn around, opening my eyes, only to shout out a curse and
stumble back.
Emma is directly in front of me, taking off her tank top, eyes glued to my
body. I hadn't shut the curtains, thinking no one would be in here, and I
didn't know if I was happy or mad I did that. I stood there speechless as her
small hands grasped the bottom of her sports bra. I inhaled sharply when
she pulled it up and over her head, exposing her breasts. They jiggled
slightly as she tossed her clothes to the side, and I found my heart rate
quickening at an alarming rate.
"W-what are you doing?" I breathe out as she pulls her leggings down her
body, leaving her in just a thong.
"Showering." Emma tells me as if it's obvious.
Her deep tone sends shockwaves down my body, and I find myself half-
hard already. My eyes narrow in on her thumbs hooking the sides of her
underwear and lowering them down her body. She turns around to toss her
last article of clothing onto the pile of already discarded garments. Her
round ass is on full display and I can't help but imagine groping it as I
pound into her from behind.
I'm fighting the itch to reach my hand down to stroke my now fully
hardened erection. I'm just standing dumbly as she walks towards me,
reaching the shower stream and placing her head underneath it. I groan
lowly at the sight before me, water streaming delicately over her breasts,
nipples hard under my stare, down her flat, but soft looking stomach,
trailing directly to her immaculately groomed cunt.
"Is this okay."
My eyes snap up to her, her tone not in the slightest meaning it as a
question, but more of a dare. I swallow down my nerves, instead enjoying
the feeling of being completely and utterly aroused for the first time in what
feels like forever. A wave of relief hits me at the thought, not worrying
about keeping my hard-on like I had all week.
"You tell me." I answer back breathlessly.
 A coy smile curls her lips up, making me imagine sinking my teeth in
them. I'm confused as she shakes her head, but my heart immediately jolts
when I hear two distinct words leave her lips, "Too far."
I hold back a whine and shut my eyes tightly, shaking my head in
frustration. "Don't have a condom."
"I'm on the pill." I hear her voice, but shake my head.
"I- uh, don't go raw." I say regrettably. It was true, I never had sex raw.
Not since my last girlfriend at least, and we had gone through too many
pregnancy scares while in college. I open my eyes, making my way up her
body. I practically growl as she sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, "Don't
fucking look at me like that."
Something flashed in her eyes, a layer of lust clouding over as she
watches me try and keep my head.
"You're gonna make me get myself off?" She asks, turning around and
sauntering to the opposite side of the shower, now about four feet seperating
us. She leans her shoulder blades against the tiles, and trails her hand slowly
down her body. I'm practically panting as my eyes stay glued to her
fingertips, dancing gracefully down her wet skin, knowing exactly where
their destination lie.
When she finally reaches her lips and peels them aside to show me her
little bud I let out a small whimper. I would give anything to touch her in
this moment, my hand mindlessly wrapping around my throbbing shaft. I
lazily pump myself as her middle finger teases her clit with the softest,
slowest touch.
I don't even realize I'm moving until my hand is placed directly next to
her head, our bodies too close, yet not close enough. I'm staring into her
dilated eyes, nothing but needy sexual tension pulsating between us. She
glances down at my hand still working my thick cock and bites her lip. The
action chips away at my already dwindling self-control. I see her dip her
finger down her folds and unmistakeable into her opening. Her head falls
back, exposing her neck to me, and I want nothin more than to ravage it
with my lips, tongue, and teeth.
"Oh, god..." She moans out.
"Fuck, please let me touch you." I groan out, voice husky.
I gasp as her hand finds mine, unwrapping it from my length. My heart
lodges in my throat as she leans up to my ear and whispers, "You can do
whatever you want to me."
 The arm holding me up shakes when my fingers finally feel her. I moan
out when I feel just how soft and warm and wet she is. Her finger guides
mine to her opening and dips both our middle fingers into her. Her jaw
drops at the feeling of my rough fingertip feeling her walls. My forehead
finds hers, eyes shut in such a way that I almost think if I open them she'll
disappear.
"Feel how tight I am? How tightly I could wrap around your cock,
baby?" Her voice sucks me in deeper, closing more of the distance between
us. Her finger leaves her opening, letting me fit two in as hers finds my
leaking tip. I gasp out when her thumb repeatedly rubs over my slit. "If it
helps, I'm clean."
My resolve tumbles when she brings my tip to her clit and slowly circles
it around the throbbing nub.
"I'm giving you money for Plan B-"
"Harry-"
"Promise me you'll take it." I rush out, eyes opening to peer into hers,
begging for her to give in to my one request.
Her eyes soften just a bit, but lets out a quiet, "I promise."
I surge forward to connect our lips, hand moving off the wall to grip the
back of her neck. I moan into the kiss, shocked at how soft and caring her
lips feel against mine. Her free hand slinks up my chest and lands in my
hair, tugging and twirling it as our tongues meet in a frenzy. My fingers curl
into her, opening her up so she can be ready for me. Her knees practically
buckle as I pulse my fingertips against the spongy part in her that makes her
head spin.
"Jump." I mumble against her mouth, and I'm immediately met with her
trust. I catch her easily, both my hands gripping onto her luscious, thick
thighs. My cock twitches when I feel her legs wrap around me, feet crossing
on the small of my back. I push her back flat against the wall and close the
distance between us. Her hands hold tightly onto my shoulders as I grind
my hips into hers. I whine into her mouth as I feel my painfully hard cock
glide through her wet folds.
I'm almost too entranced in the feeling, repeating the movement as I kiss
her jaw and down her neck. I'm only broken out of my thoughts when I hear
the smallest plea from her.
"Please."
 I look back up at her to see the lust clouding over her eyes. My heart is
pounding at just the knowledge that she needs me in this moment as much
as I need her. I tighten my hold on her so she doesn't fall and create a little
bit of distance between us. She reaches her hand down to pump my shaft a
couple times and then lines me up to her opening.
I push forward just a bit, my tip disappearing into her warmth, and I am
close to sobbing at the feeling. I bury my face into her neck and start lightly
kissing her damp skin. Her fingernails rake across my shoulder blades, and
I know for a fact I'll be seeing scratch marks on my back for days. The
thought excites me as I push in deeper. Emma hisses quietly, trying to hide
the fact that this is hurting her, so I slow down and start playfully sucking
on her pulse point on her neck.
I can tell her heart is beating rapidly by the pulsating against my tongue,
and I decide to tear off the bandaid and thrust fully into her. She cries out
and clutches onto me, almost drawing blood by the force.
I groan at the feeling of her warm, wet walls holding onto me and pant
into her neck, "Oh god, you're so tight..."
I stay still as long as possible so she can adjust to my size. She feels so
good raw, no barrier between, whenever she squeezes me I can feel myself
drifting further into her spell. In a daze, I bring my lips back up to hers and
kiss her as passionately as I can to ease her pain. After about a minute of
pure torture of being inside her but not being able to move, I separate from
our kiss and mumble into her lips.
"You okay?"
She nods, keeping her eyes on me, "Yeah, sorry, It's been a while, and,
uh... I've just never been with someone as... you know..."
A surge of confidence hits my ego after what feels like forever being
pathetically in the palms of her hands. She's held every bit of power up until
this moment, and now she is so willingly giving it to me. I can see it in her
eyes, as she looks at me with a look of wonder.
"I know. I can tell." I nipped at her bottom lip as I drew out halfway and
thrust back into her. "How anyone would let you go this long without
pleasuring you is fucking mind-boggling." She whimpers as I repeat the
motion, but draw out even further this time. "How anyone can have a taste
of this and not come back... Shit, keep doing that."
She was clenching around me, almost spasming, and I couldn't tell if it
was because of my cock or my words or maybe a mixture of both. Her
mouth was wide open as I continued my slow hard thrusts, and I knew, even
this early, that I wasn't going to last long.
Never has this ever felt so good, and I knew it wasn't simply because
there was no thin piece of rubber between us. I hadn't felt remotely even
close to this amount of pleasure in god knows how long. It almost felt like
my first time, like this was a completely new experience for me.
Emma threw her head back and cried out as I pulled all the way out and
slammed into her, "Oh god, Harry!"
"You like that, Em, huh? You like being fucked against this wall by me?"
She nodded mindlessly and I bring my lips to her jaw, peppering the
lightest of touches against her skin. She moans out my name as I thrust into
her over and over again, and I nearly lose it. My name has never sounded
better, never meant the same things as it does with Emma right now. It's like
each call to me is subsequently thanking me and begging me. I'm certain it's
exactly how my moans and whimpers sound to her, and I don't find it the
least bit embarrassing.
"Harry, I need..." She cuts off with a sharp intake of breathe.
I pant into her chest, resting my forehead on her sharp clavicle, "What,
baby, what do you need?"
"Faster..." She breathes out, "I need you to go faster."
I don't answer her, instead shuffling around, holding her in me as deep as
possible, and placing my hands on the supple flesh of her ass. She tightens
her legs around me and wraps one arm around the back of my neck, the
other gripping my hair. Her hold on me is so strong that I could easily let go
and she would stay exactly in place. The strength she shows leads me to
think just how great her stamina would be in different positions.
The sound of my name leaving her lips snaps me out of my daze, a clear
picture of her riding me, doing all the work, as she bounces up and down
my dick, replacing her workout for the day. Without a second thought I start
thrusting into her faster, pounding my hips into her pelvis, stimulating her
perfect little clit while she clutches around my thick, hard cock.
Immediately I'm met with uncontrollably moans, whimpers, and whines,
all of which spur me on to quicken my pace. I hold back my orgasm,
determined to get her her high before me. Our lips meet roughly, not even
able to hold a kiss as we are both overcome with the feeling of the other.
My eyes stay glued to her face, loving the look of ecstasy written across it,
her eyes shut tightly in pleasure.
 I take away one of my hands and bring it up to her throat. Her eyes snap
open, wide and alert at the feeling. I panic for a second, not realizing what I
had just done. I just tried choking her out without really even knowing her,
and especially without asking her.
"Sorry." I rush out and pull my hand away, but I'm startled when her hand
leaves my hair and grabs my wrist, preventing me from getting too far
away.
"No, it's okay." My eyes dilate as I notice the clear look of excitement in
her stark blue eyes. "Keep doing that."
Her hand encases mine and brings it back to her throat, squeezing the
sides of her neck, so I'm careful not to actually choke her. Once I regain my
rhythm, her hand finds my wet hair and pulls harshly. I hiss as my head
jerks back, but feel my cock throb at the feeling. I could practically feel her
getting wetter, and I knew now that it was a matter of minutes until I was
going to be releasing into her.
"C'mon, Emma, let go for me. I need to feel your tight cunt come around
me. Oh god, please... I'm so close." I choke out, straining to keep my
orgasm at bay.
"Harder."
I whimper at the desperation laced in her command. I'm uncertain if she
meant my thrusts or my hand, so I take a gamble and tighten my hand in the
smallest way, and start pounding into her as hard as I can. I'm breathing
roughly, fatigue starting to rear its ugly head, but I'm determined to keep my
pace.
"Harry!" Emma cries out and throws her head back.
I force my eyes to stay open as I watch her orgasm rip through her,
clenching around my throbbing cock. Her jaw drops as she attempts to
scream out, but I tighten my hold on the sides of her neck, and all she's able
to let out is a single strangled moan. I feel her hips start to buck into mine
and her forehead is damp in fresh sweat. Her nails are digging
simultaneously into my shoulder as well as my scalp.
The added pain brings my orgasm to the forefront, my weak voice
shouting her name out and my face dropping into the crook of her neck. I
release five long, hot spurts into her sensitive cunt, coming harder than I
ever had in my entire life. My vision goes white as my hold on her loosens,
hers tightening to keep her attached. The hand around her neck slips behind
her to thread my fingers into her hair while I continue to rock my hips into
her, drawing out both our orgasms as long as possible.
I can feel myself soften inside of her, but refuse to leave her warmth. I
gather my breath, my vision finally returning to normal, senses coming
back to notice her hand that had once pulled and gripped my hair so tight I
thought it would come out, is now playing with my wet curls so delicately I
almost purr into her soft skin.
Slowly I bring my head up and out of the safety of her neck. My lips
graze over her jaw and ghost over her swollen, red lips. She rests her
forehead on mine and opens her eyes. I don't know how long we stare at
each other, but neither of us make a move to talk or press our lips together.
I don't know if it's okay to kiss her now that it's over. I don't know what
she's thinking, because she's so damn hard to read. Even before this, I had
no clue she noticed me, and once we met I thought for sure I had caught her
checking me out, but she always excused herself so quickly afterwards. It
was nothing like I was used to. Women usually liked to make their
intentions clear to me, so I would know, without a doubt, that they wanted
me.
Emma held her feeling and emotions close to her chest, never giving me
a peek of what she truly thought.
Even now, I was unsure if this was something she had been thinking of,
or if she just chased me, because I was the closest person.
I felt her shift in my embrace and took that as her wanting to leave. My
hand went down to hold her thigh as I pulled out of her - trying desperately
to cover the whimper that escaped my throat by coughing. I set her down on
the ground softly, making sure she had her footing, knowing how exhausted
her legs were from both her orgasm and from hanging onto my like a koala.
My arms rest awkwardly by my side while hers slip to my chest. The soft
touch is such a drastic change to how rough we were with each other just
moments ago, but I couldn't stop my heart from beating faster.
If I had been drowning all week, then it was clear I had now resurfaced. I
felt as though I could breathe freely for the first time in months, but I
pushed back the feeling, not eager to unload that can of worms any time
soon.
My stomach dropped as her hands left my chest, now zero body contact
between us. She stepped around me and walked under the stream of water
that had probably turned cold by now. I got my answer as I saw small
goosebumps litter her skin, my eyes trailing down her back and over her
ass. My mouth starts to water as I see my cum running down the inside of
her thigh, a sight that I haven't ever seen before. The stream of water
washes it down her leg and onto the bathroom floor.
With a fleeting look, she leaves the stall, takes my towel and wraps it
around herself. Gathering up her clothes, she leaves the men's locker room,
and subsequently me, baffled, back against the cold tile, wondering why the
fuck I can't say anything.
Chapter Five

EMMA
I don't actually know what got into me.
I've never done anything like that in my entire life, but I just couldn't stop
myself.
And the moment I saw his naked, wet body, it's like I turned into a
completely new person. Almost as if I was some irresistible seductress.
But fuck did I love it.
It was the hottest, best sex I've ever had. Just the look he was giving me
was enough to make me come. It was like I was some angel sent down to
save him, like he needed me as much as I desperately needed him after the
week I had had. I knew he didn't. I knew he had a ton of different options
and I was just there that night, but damn did it feel good to be wanted.
A lot of my past sexual encounters, especially those last three months of
being with Jake, felt like obligation, like I was there only to help him get
off. I felt like some empty sex vessel. With Harry I could tell he held back
until I had my turn. He wanted to make sure I was taken care of.
And sure, normally, if a guy I had seduced into raw-dogging me in the
gym showers ignored me every day when we spent at least an hour in the
same vicinity I would be perturbed. But I liked that I didn't have to worry
about him. That I could still go to my safe space and not internally freak out
that he was going to be there.
He didn't act like I didn't exist though. We made eye contact here and
there, a quick nod as a hello. I even noticed a smirk on his face when he
walked by me one night and some guy was hitting on me and I was turning
him down. It just felt great that I had actually had sex with a guy that got
me off thoroughly, and it didn't mean a goddamn thing to either of us.
Neither had to worry about hurting the others feelings. We didn't need to
have some awkward talk about what we were or weren't.
 I used his cock for my own pleasure and he happily obliged.
I did hear from Molly that he had told her he wasn't interested in
pursuing anything with her, and that he was sorry if he had led her on, when
she had confronted him about it. I was impressed by her maturity, her
confiding in me that no guy had ever been as nice when rejecting her as he
had been, and that's all that mattered.
I feel like old me would've taken this information and completely over-
thought it. I could just imagine my mind going into overdrive, imagining
him turning her down because of his hidden feelings, the sex being so good
that he had fallen in love with me. That's how delusional and love-craved I
used to be. It's the reason I fell so hard for Jake. I just wanted to be in love.
Now I'm more realistic. I understand and accept that I have not fallen in
true love with anyone and that's okay. And now I can just bask in the
afterglow of a great fucking against a shower wall with a stranger.
And I finally got it rougher than ever before. He didn't take it easy on me,
pounding into me without a care in the world. I ended up with light bruise
marks on my back from repeatedly being thrust into the cold, hard tiles. His
words were filthy and he seemed to enjoy my equally dirty words. Jake had
always said I sounded too desperate and like I was trying too hard whenever
I attempted dirty talk with him, but Harry reveled in it. I could tell how
much he loved it when I begged for him, and I couldn't help but imagine
him doing the same for me. I wanted to hear him plead for me.
The real kicker was the choking.
That was in the realm of kinks I've never gotten to explore, because my
exes either thought I was too breakable, too weird, or they were just too
plain scared to try it. It shocked me that Harry, a complete stranger to me,
even attempted it, but I saw the look in his eyes when I told him it was
okay. I'm surprised he didn't come inside me right then and there. The
restriction of breath was all consuming. When I finally came it was like
nothing I had ever experienced, the high sending me into the stratosphere.
I do find myself wondering just how far he'll go. Like is he some secret
Dom who has a sex room filled with chains and whips, or is he similar to
me and hasn't necessarily explored that part of sex yet? It's hard to say.
While he did choke me, he seemed a little shocked that he did that, but he
knew exactly how to put the right amount of pressure and where. I feel like
that's something not a lot of people know how to properly do, and I only
know that because I read an absurd amount of erotica.
 I wonder how far I could push him. If he chokes, then surely he's into
tying me up, or blindfolding me, definitely anal play, and maybe even
playing with some toys. What if he's always the aggressor? The one in
charge doing these things to his partner. But what if he likes experimenting?
Would he let me tie him up, or put a cock ring around him and torture him.
I want to be tied up, but I also want to tie him up.
And this is what has been keeping me up at night. Constant sex dreams
that range from the shower sex we had to some really kinky shit that I'm not
even sure is a real thing or if my subconscious is just making things up. I'll
wake up hot and bothered and rub one out while imagining just how skillful
Harry is with his tongue.
I felt different lately, like being fucked like that has washed me clean of
my last bits of misery. It was an awful spring and summer for me, and while
I no longer had feelings for Jake it still hurt. I still had a hard time seeing
him be with someone else, especially when it felt like he would rub it in my
face, and I never felt like I could shake it. Yet when I arrived at work on
Monday morning, I wasn't thinking about running into him, I was thinking
about if the hickey Harry gave me was all that noticeable under the pound
of makeup I put on to attempt to cover it.
Next time I would have to tell him to keep the love bites below the
neckline.
Woah, wait a second.
Next time?
When the fuck was that going to be, and why did I just assume it would
be happening. It's been eight days since our sexcapade, and we haven't said
so much as a word to each other.
I wouldn't turn it down, however. If the right moment happened then who
was I to deny myself another romp? Maybe I could get him to tie my hands
behind my back.
It was Sunday, and I was speaking to Maggie, my friend who owns the
gym. She just got back from vacation, and whisked me away to her office
the moment I entered the gym. She talked my ear off for three hours, but I
honestly didn't mind. It was nice to have my friend back. She was the only
person I still talked to from college, not that there was a lot to begin with. I
was always rather shy in school.
I had missed my yoga class, though, and technically the gym was closing,
so I decided to use one of their video rooms and do a solo class that was
pre-recorded. I locked my bag up in the lockers, coming to the gym in
shorts and a tank top, since all my workout clothes were dirty. Maggie
waved goodbye to me before she locked up leaving me completely alone. I
headed to one of the small rooms and went through their selection of yoga
videos.
I went with an advanced workout, wanting to push myself, and test my
limits since I had been almost religiously been taking classes this week. I
haven't even stepped on the treadmill once since last Saturday.
I was completely out of breath by the time the video had ended, yoga
completely kicking my ass. My breathing was so harsh I just laid on the
cold ground for ten straight minutes trying to gather myself. Finally, on
shaky legs, I stood up and walked out of the room, gathering my bag from
the locker, and started towards the door. Once I got there, however, I was
stunned by the pouring rain. I watched for a minute as it came down hard
before I was interrupted by a voice, "Fuck, it's really coming down out
there."
I nearly jumped out of my skin, yelping out and clutching my heart. I
looked around wildly and felt a sense of relief when I saw it was just Harry.
"Sorry! Sorry, I forgot how jumpy you are." He was apologetic, but
definitely holding back a laugh.
"Don't worry about it." I chuckled, "Practically shit myself, but I'll
survive."
He let out a loud laugh, "I didn't realize you were here, or are you just
heading in?"
I shook my head at him, "No, I was in one of those little rooms off to the
side taking a video class."
He hummed, "How was that. Never taken one of those."
"Kicked my ass. Surprised I'm able to stand right now."
He smiled widely at me, "Where'd you park?"
I sighed at this, looking out to the parking lot, "All the way in the back." I
don't know why, but I had a habit of parking back there. Usually it was
rather busy when I came after work, so it was just easier to park near the
entrance instead of scavenging around for the nearest parking spot. I was
really regretting that now.
"Do you have a coat?" He asked me.
I shook my head once again, "Nope. No clue it was gonna rain, and these
were my only clean workout clothes. Gonna fucking freeze out there." I say
the last bit more to myself, but he looks down at me anyways, biting the
inside of his mouth.
It's a few seconds before he suggests, "My cars right there." He points to
the nice BMW parked nearest to the doors, "We could make a run for it and
I could drop you off at yours?"
I looked up at him surprised by his offer, but felt my stomach flutter at
the thought of being alone with him again. It hadn't even really dawned on
me that here we were alone in the gym, after hours again. We were being
completely casual, neither making our first post-coital interaction awkward,
which was probably a first for me.
I slowly nodded my head, "Yeah, that would be awesome, actually.
Thank you so much, Harry."
He waves me off, "It's really no problem." He clicks the unlock button,
and I see his lights flash on. "Give me your bag."
I give him a look, "Why?"
He rolls his eyes at me, taking the strap off my shoulder, "So you don't
have to sprint to the car lugging this thing around, and shit, love, this is
really heavy. You sure you're not carrying a dead body in here?"
"You know I should really be the one implying that you're the murderer
here. Getting me in your car just to drive me to my car? Very suspicious." I
narrow my eyes at him in jest.
Harry surprises me with a smile, "I don't know about that. I think the real
suspicious act is you parking all the way out in the middle of bum-fuck
nowhere when there's plenty of parking up front. How do I know that this
isn't some elaborate attempt to get me by myself without all the cameras?"
I laugh, "Fair point. I guess we are just going to have to trust each other,
right?"
A corner of his mouth tilts up, "I think I can manage that for the next
minute or so."
"I'm sure that's what every Ted Bundy victim said too." I deadpan
His laughter rang through the empty gym behind us, and I felt myself
grinning as the sound reverberated off the walls.
He shook his head with a little laughter as he looked back down at me,
"You really are something, aren't you?" I just shrugged with a smug look,
"Alright, you ready for this. Sprint in three... two.... one!"
He opened the front door suddenly, and held it open for me as I ran to the
passenger side door. I got in quickly, soaked from just the smallest amount
of time spent out in the open. Harry threw both bags into the back of the
seat, and clambered in to the driver's seat even more wet than me.
"Shit! It's like a typhoon out there!" Harry says, quickly turning the heat
on.
I'm already shivering, body covered in freezing cold raindrops and barely
any clothes covering me. Goosebumps are all up and down my body, and
my teeth are chattering, "Thank you again for driving me to my car. Don't
know if I would've made it."
"Here, love," He reaches over and grabs my hands, which were rubbing
against each other, and placing them in his lap. His hand is incredibly warm
as it encased both of mine, "shit, you're freezing. You're gonna need to
warm up a bit before you go back out there or you'll get sick."
"Thank you. I've been told I run cold. Ex never wanted to cuddle with me
cause my hands and feet were ice cold in the middle of the night, and I hate
wearing socks to bed."
Harry grunts at this, "Good thing he's an ex then... Can't believe he
wouldn't warm you up just cause you're a bit chilly for a while, what a
prick."
He starts to back up his car, using his rear camera, while his thumb pets
mine. I mutter back, "Biggest prick I've known."
"He's missing out anyways. Hands are already warming up, and they're
so soft and small. Adorable really."
I roll my eyes at him and he chuckles back at me. I barely even register
how we are interacting right now. It feels all too familiar, like we've known
each other for years, and he didn't just choke me out while fucking me in a
public shower. In fact, for the first time all week I'm not thinking about
having sex with him. I'm just talking to him.
"He really is. My hands are great." I joke.
"That's right, Em. They really do some amazing work."
At this I grow quiet, now thinking desperately of how his cock felt in my
hand for the short period of time before he was inside me. I knew this is
what he meant by that comment, the lower tone in his voice purposefully
giving him away. He's parked the car next to mine, but neither of us make a
move.
I'm now painfully aware of just how close my hands are to his crotch, and
I get the itch to start feeling him through his sweats. His car is slowly
heating up, his heat on full blast, and we're just staring at each other, almost
as if we are in some kind of standoff. I'm noticing for the first time the little
droplets of water on his hair and skin that haven't evaporated just yet. They
almost accentuate the sharpness of his features, his cheekbones and strong
jaw.
I wonder if I look the same to him. If he's noticing something about my
face he hadn't really studied before. He definitely has a look in his eyes,
very similar to the one he wore before he gave in to me just last weekend.
I found it interesting that he was so insistent on using a condom, putting
protection in his hands, but I guess after having as many fuck-buddies or
one-night-stands as I think he has he probably has a hard time putting the
trust in their hands. I understand his unwillingness, not wanting to get
pregnant by a stranger at this point in my life, but I needed to feel him that
night, all of him.
And I need him right now.
Suddenly our lips are molded together, our tongues embracing, hands
gripping faces and arms and waists, and I'm not sure if I leaned in first or he
did, or maybe we succumbed to our want at the same time. It feels as if we
have more time to explore each other this time, kissing for a lot longer than
we did before, kissing until we couldn't any longer, both gasping for air as
we pull apart, but Harry's reaching over to unbuckle my seat belt and I'm
returning the favor.
He pulls me onto his lap so I'm straddling his legs awkwardly. It's a tight
fit in his car, thankful at least it's an SUV. He bends forward, me backwards,
to pull the lever so his seat glides back as far as possible. It's more
comfortable now, and I'm kissing down his neck, tasting the salty residue
from his workout. He's groaning and gripping my hips to pull me forward.
He's rolling me into his length, quickly hardening under my heated core. I'm
biting and nipping at his skin, and I think it's alright, because he's tilting his
head to give me more of a canvas to work on.
I think I hear him mumble out, "I'm obsessed" but I can't wrap my mind
around it while his hands sneak into my shorts to grope and knead my ass. I
mewl into his skin, loving the feeling of his large, rough hands on my bare
skin, but I want more.
"Want you..." I mumble against his lips.
"Windows... tinted..." He's saying in-between kisses, and he's desperately
trying to get my shorts off, so I stand awkwardly, lips still attached to his as
he pulls them down along with my underwear. I'm pulling at his sweats, he's
lifting his hips up, and his cock is springing free while he's chuckling,
"Desperate for my cock, Emma?"
It's almost a taunt. A sexy fucking taunt that I turn right back on him
saying, "Feel me and find out."
He groans and sits me back down on his lap, plunging two fingers into
me without warning. I curse out the intrusion, head falling back, and felt his
lips on my neck. "Not the neck..." I mumble out, "Can't have that at work.
Lower..."
I strip off my tank top, leaving me in just my sports bra, and he moves
down to suck and nibble and kiss my chest and collarbone. I feel like he's
making me pay for not letting him have my neck, working over time and
giving me love bite after love bite where I could easily hide them.
It's making me antsy, his lips on my skin, his fingers curled inside me as I
roll my hips onto him. "Harry, need more. Please, please, please..."
"Need to open you up, love. I know how much I stretched you last time.
Couldn't move for a whole minute while your walls clamped down on me.
Hardest minute of my life... Don't want you to hurt." He mumbles out,
barely taking his lips off my skin to answer me.
I reach one of my hands down and wrapped it around his thick length.
Immediately he groans and adds a third finger as my thumb plays with his
tip.
"Baby, please, move your hand... Need something more." Harry begs me,
but I just shake my head and answer back breathlessly, "If you need more
then get your cock inside me. Gonna make you feel so good, Harry."
I gasp as he bites down on my shoulder, taking his soaking wet fingers
out of my core and placed them in front of my mouth. I could smell myself
on him, and whimpered as I wrapped my lips around them. I didn't mind the
taste, I mean I've been swallowing come for years so this wasn't all that
different. It was more for Harry, his eyes darkening at the sight up my
licking up my own arousal.
He popped them out of my mouth, teeth grazing his skin as they left me,
making him hiss and then place two fingers back in, and demanding that I
suck. His free hand had been rubbing my thigh, hip, ass, anything in reach
while I placed him at my entrance and sunk down.
Harry melted into his seat as he filled me up, his hand leaving my mouth
to grip my thighs, and his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.
"Fuck, Emma... So good, so good."
 "Harry..." I breathe out.
My walls are burning as they stretch around him, and it's unlike anything
I've ever felt. I start to roll my hips against him, getting used to the feeling,
and revel in his attention. His eyes are hazy, but are watching me intently,
flickering between my face and where we're connected.
"Three fingers and you're still so tight. Oh god, yes, just like that..."
Harry's raspy voice sends shivers down my spine, heating up my core, and
causes me to squeeze him tight as I swivel my hips.
His head is laying back on the headrest, neck on clear display, and I get
the urge to taste him again, so I lean forward ghost my lips over his pulse
point, tongue slipping out to lick him. His hands caress my body, moving
from my thighs to my hips, but never leading my movements. I whimper as
I grind my clit into his pelvis, hitting it every time I make my way around.
Just like with our kisses I took my time just enjoying the feeling of him.
My rolls and swivels were slow and methodical, hitting my spots every
time. He wasn't telling me to stop as I marked up his skin. I only left one
dark love bite on his pulse point, all my others on his collarbone and as far
down as I could go when I pulled his shirt down.
I finally lift up a bit and drop back down on him, loving the friction and
the sounds escaping Harry. I'm speeding up and letting myself up until I feel
his tip right at my opening. I'm no longer able to focus on kissing either his
lips or his skin, instead arching my back and letting my head fall back.
Once again all I can focus on is him, his moans and whines, his hands
gliding up and down my body just begging to feel my bare skin, and his
cock going deeper and deeper, rolling waves of pleasure throughout my
bones.
"That feel good, baby?" He asks in a low, gravelly tone after a rather
encouraging sound slipped past my lips. I nod eagerly, bringing my head
back up and my forehead to his as I start to roll my hips as I bounce on him.
"Fuck, yes... Look at you doing all the work. Using my cock to get you off."
I breathe out a laugh, "Thought I should return the favor." I nudged his
face to the side so I could nip at his ear and say, "You did so well for me last
time."
"Oh god, use me, please... Take what you want."
I started to speed up incrementally until he was cursing out and I was
desperately trying to keep my pace. My legs were burning, my mind was
clouded, but I couldn't stop. It felt too good. He was throbbing inside me
and I was so close, but evading my high. As I started to come down harder,
I looked down to watch him disappear inside me, brows furrowed as I
concentrated on keeping my rhythm.
I yelped out and jumped a bit when I felt his hand come down on my ass
in a light slap. I looked at him with wide eyes, but kept bouncing on him
even harder now, completely reinvigorated by his actions. My eyes darken
and smirk down at him, whispering, "Again."
He brings his hand down on my ass harder this time, and I moan out. He
gropes the burning skin, brings my face right in front of his to ghost my lips
over his, but stops me from kissing him. "My little Emma likes it rough,
huh? First she's letting me choke her while I fuck her against a wall, leaving
scratch marks all up and down my back for days, and now she's begging me
to slap her perfect little ass." His hand comes down on me again, not too
hard, but enough to jolt me forward and clench my walls around his cock.
"Who would've thought that the quiet girl at the gym is such a vixen. What
else do you like, baby?" I'm burying my face in his neck, gripping his hair
tightly in my fist as I grind myself into him, gasping for air as my clit and
G-spot are stimulated at the same time. "You're so close... Can feel you
clenching around me, desperate for a release. You can do it, Emma, c'mon,
baby, use me, use my cock for your pleasure."
I'm almost crying in frustration, edging so hard I can barely breathe.
"Please, please, please..." I'm begging him, mewling into his sweaty skin,
"Fuck me, Harry."
And finally he is. I loved the control he gave me, but I needed him to get
to where I needed to be. His hips started thrusting up into me, slamming
into my pelvis, matching my rhythm. I cry out in relief as I see myself start
to surpass the edge I've been at for minutes. He's bringing his hand down on
my ass and then caressing it to soothe the delightful burn. I moaning and
mewling and gasping and searching for his lips.
He lets me kiss him as deeply as I can, pushing our bodies as close as
possible. He's taking hold of my hips and rolling them harshly on his as he
pulses his cock into me, and I'm biting into his shoulder and pulling on his
hair as I'm coming violently around him. My body tenses and my mind goes
blank as my orgasm takes over my entire being.
And suddenly I'm floating.
My muscles are as light as a feather, and my mind is mush. The only
thing I'm feeling is him thrusting into me two, three more times and coming
inside me. He keeps me folded into his chest, wrapping his arms around me,
and trying to kiss me as he comes down. It's a lazy kiss, neither of us on the
same rhythm, but it's exactly what we need.
It's now hot and sweaty in the car, our activities fogging up the windows.
He holds me tight against him, and now I'm wondering how I'm going to
get off his lap without dripping his come everywhere. It's like he's reading
my mind when he says, "Hold on... I think I've got a clean shirt back here."
He twists in his seat, causing me to inhale sharply at the feeling. I'm still
entirely sensitive, wanting to flinch away, but he holds me steady with just
one of his arms around me. I can see a faint smirk on his face as he turns
back, shirt in hand. Normally I would roll my eyes and find that type of
smugness a turn off, but for some reason I like it in Harry.
"Okay, lift up for me, babe."
I position my hands on his shoulders and slowly slip him out of me. I can
tell he purposely waits a moment before wiping me down, eager to see his
come drip out and onto his dick. Even after coming as hard as he did, his
cock was big. He was a shower and a grower. I tried my hardest to hold in
the explicit sounds I wanted to make, but failed miserably. He took extra
pleasure in putting pressure down on my swollen clit.
"Fuck." I hissed out and arched my back at the feeling.
"You keep making these little noises, and I'll have to fuck you even
harder, baby."
His voice is taunting, but exciting me all over again. I'm not sure,
however, if my body could really take another one of his orgasms, and still
be able to get me home. I'd probably fall asleep in my car.
That doesn't stop the grin forming on my lips, Harry beaming lustfully at
me, leaning forward to bite my lower lip and snap it back in place. I place
my hand over his and wipe once more for good measure, and then take his
shirt to his dick to clean it carefully.
Just to be cruel I did take my pointer finger and swipe at his tip, holding a
large dollop of his juice, and place it in my mouth. I sucked on my finger,
eyes closed to accentuate the act before surprisingly gracefully rolling off
him and onto the passengers seat. I grabbed my shorts and panties, and
pulled them on, glancing over and chuckling, "Keep giving me that look
and I'll have to tie you up, Harry."
I smile devilishly and open the door to get out, faintly hearing him mutter
a "Fucking hell." I open his backseat and grab my bag, and rush to my car
to get out of the rain.
Chapter Six

HARRY
"So, are you going to tell us who gave you that giant hickey?"
I looked over at Oliver next to me at the bar. We had decided to get some
beers just the two of us since it had been so long. It had been three days
since Emma rode me in my car, and her little love mark was still adorning
my skin. I must say it was a masterpiece, a deep shade of purple and wide. I
could still feel her lips against my skin when I looked at it, so I couldn't
really be all that mad that she marked me up.
I shrug at my best friend, only to receive a scoff, "Since when did you
start not telling me things?"
I breathed out a laugh. I suppose he was right. I told Oli everything. We
don't have secrets between each other. Hell, he even told me about his crush
on my sister, because he felt so guilty for liking her.
"Is it because you actually like this one?" He asks me suspiciously.
"No, that's the thing: I don't. I don't even really know her." I respond,
deciding to tell him.
"So, it's a her..." He says. "Is it that girl from the gym that Mike was
teasing you about a few weeks ago?"
I take a big sip of my beer, "Uh, yeah... Remember when I was so
stressed from everything at work?"
"Yeah, you were a right knob that week." He answers.
"Yeah, well I tried to relieve a lot of my stress and anxiety with sex." He
gave me a look in which I waved him off, knowing he was weary of my
unhealthy de-stressing habits. "I know, I know... I just felt like I was falling
apart and I needed a distraction, but it was horrible. Some of the worst sex
I've had. I could barely even get hard every time, and I actually went soft
when someone was giving me a blowie." I shamefully admitted.
"Oh, that's rough..." He commented.
 "Tell me about it. It was quite possibly the most embarrassing moment
I've ever had. Anyway, I went to the gym late, uh... last Saturday night, I
think. Emma was there-"
"Emma? That's her name?"
"Yeah, I met her a few weeks back. Just casual when we bumped into
each other. She seems like a nice girl. I think she was having a rough day
too from the looks of it." I decided not to tell him that I had been watching
her workout habits for the better part of four months now, not wanting to
seem like a complete creep. "So I went off to the showers after hitting the
bag for an hour or so, and she just walks into the men's locker room while
I'm in there and strips in front of me and joins me."
"No fucking way. That's like a wet dream of mine." Oli admits
shamelessly, making me laugh.
"Yeah, exactly! It was the most turned on I've been in... fuck, I don't even
know. I swear to god she was like some master seductress." I lower my
voice a bit so no one can overhear, "I said no at first, because I didn't have a
condom, but she said she was on birth control and I made her promise that
she would take the morning after pill-"
"Wait, are you telling me you had unprotected sex with-"
I shush him and look around making sure no one was paying attention.
Even though these people knew nothing of me and it really didn't matter
because I would never see them, it wasn't just my secret. Although I barely
know Emma, I do know she likes her privacy, and I needed to respect that.
"Will you be quiet? I know it was dumb, and I literally never do that, but
she gave me this big innocent pout, and then she.... she, um." I dropped my
voice lower and leaned in, "she started to touch herself, and I really only
have so much self control."
Oliver had wide eyes as I told him this, "Shit... I honestly don't blame
you. Not sure I would be able to keep it in my pants either."
I groan, "And she is so fucking gorgeous. Stunning... So I gave in and
fucked her against the wall, and it wasn't boring like it has been for the past
several years. It was the best sex I've ever had, and then she just rinsed off
and walked away without another word. She hasn't been clingy or even
really talked to me at the gym when we pass by each other. It's great! I had
real, honest to god, casual sex that I don't have to worry about hurting the
girls feelings."
 "So she really just needed a dick to get off on, and chose yours?" He
teased.
I smiled at this, "Yeah, and she's really picky. I've seen her turn down
multiple guys, guys who are good looking, too. Walked passed her several
days ago turning down this meathead, and she gave me this look."
"You're really chuffed with yourself, mate." Oli says, "So you've been
hanging out with her then. You never let girls give you hickeys, but you
seem to bend the rules for her."
I roll my eyes at him, "We haven't been hanging out. I told you I'm not
interested in that or anything..." He raises his eyebrows accusingly at me. "I
mean... we might've talked a bit on Sunday."
"Oh, you talked, huh?" I laughed a bit at his tone. "Figured your lips were
a bit too busy for that."
"Okay, okay! It was pouring down rain, and she has this weird fucking
habit of parking all the way in the back, so I offered to give her a ride.
Then... I guess we somehow had sex in my car." I say quickly and quietly.
"Jesus, what are you, a teenager?" He jokes, "So what's so different about
this one?"
I sigh, "I already told you nothing's diff-"
Oliver cuts me off quickly with a roll of his eyes, "No, I'm not suggesting
you have feelings or something. I'm wondering why the sex is so different
with her. For the last few years you've told me that it's always so boring."
"I don't know..." I think about it for a moment, not having really
considered why exactly sex with Emma was so different. "There's
something about the way she looks at me. She's always got this determined
look in her eyes when she sees me... uh, you know, enjoying what we're
doing. She responds to every little touch so effortlessly without it sounding
fake or porny. She also, um..." I hesitate before adding this last bit, "she
likes it rough. I think really rough, and I've never been able to try anything
out with one-night stands and all that, because I think it should be a
conversation first."
"What exactly do you mean by rough?" Oliver asks slowly. "Is she like
one of those dominatrix? Into BDSM shit?"
I was starting to get a little more weary about telling him more, in respect
to Emma's privacy, but if the sex was as good as it was for me - and she
sure as hell made it out to be - then surely she would be telling one of her
girl friends about this, right?
 "I doubt that, but she let me choke her out the first time. She went crazy
for it, left these insane scratch marks down my back that lasted for days.
Then she let me spank her when she was riding me in the car. Like hard.
She kept wanting more. Plus, I can tell she really likes dirty talk. I think
she's a bit of a kink monster, but I'm not sure if she's ever really done a lot
of it. She always looks surprised when I do something particularly rough
with her."
"Do you think it's going to happen again?" He asks.
I shrug at this, "Maybe. I don't think either of us will search it out, but if
it comes naturally I don't think we'll stop it either. Wouldn't mind trying
some stuff with her. See how far she'll go."
"Didn't know you were our very own Christian Grey, Harry." Oliver
laughed out, finishing his beer and setting it down on the counter.
"Oh please, not going to force her into some bullshit toxic relationship.
That guy has some serious problems."
†††
Now that I had talked with someone about what had happened I couldn't
stop thinking about what other positions I could get Emma in. Would she be
okay if I tied her to my bed and made her come over and over until she was
begging me to stop? I can just imagine taking her from behind in her
tightest hole, pulling on her hair so her back arches gracefully. How would
she look with her lips wrapped around the tip of my cock? I bet she would
tease me, make me plead for her to take me all the way, for her to gently tug
on my balls as she moans around me. She would look up at me with her
innocent eyes, tears threatening to cascade down her plump cheeks as she
swallows every last bit of come I shoot into her perfect mouth.
And then there was her little tease of tying me up. Fuck did I want that. I
wanted to see her take control and make me beg for her. It was something I
never really thought of before, but now I couldn't get it out of my head.
These thoughts, these questions, were the reason why I had sought out
my hand every night and morning, why I was biting my lip, desperately
trying not to make a sound as I came in the showers at the gym, completely
unable to stop my thoughts from picturing how good she looked while
pleasuring herself in front of me.
It had been years since I had felt this level of sexual interest. Even though
I had been active and my number of partners was quite high, I had never
experienced the ease in which I could get aroused now, sometimes
incredibly soon after an orgasm. So much so, I barely made it home that
night after she took me in my car, before I was pumping my fist around my
painfully hard cock, still in my front seat, remembering how good it felt as
she clenched around me, spilling her juices over my dick.
It was like she flicked a switch inside me. Sex was no longer monotonous
and boring; it was pleasurable and adventurous, a whole new outlook on the
act. I walked differently, I was less stressed at work, I had a clearer head.
And best of all was I didn't seek out randoms to get sucked off. I didn't call
any old flings to do another round of missionary, or, if I was lucky, doggy
style.
I felt perfectly content with my imagination and hand, something that had
always made me feel a little lonely: the real reason why I had always
wanted a warm body next to me as I got my high. I knew I had a major fear
of being alone, I always had, but I thought I had handled it pretty well up
until now. Now I could clearly see how destructive my behavior was. How
mentally and emotionally unhealthy it was for me to try and form these
little hour long connections with people I would leave in the dust directly
after.
Honestly I should probably go to therapy.
Even though I had solved one problem, I found another. I found that my
mood sometimes depended on whether or not I got to see Emma. Not talk to
her or touch her. Just see her. If she didn't show up to our normal gym
sessions, I felt my spirit deflate a bit. She's definitely to blame with her
knowing looks, mindless lip biting, and her tight yoga pants. She always
found a way to make herself known to me even all the way across the gym.
But on the flip side, whenever I saw her turn down yet another guy, or
overhear some of the guys mention her in the locker room I felt a surge in
my heart. She had chosen me. I was the only one that got to pleasure her,
got to feel how tight and wet she got, to hear her beautiful little noises. And
it wasn't just here. I could feel that she wasn't going anywhere else for her
pleasure. Somehow I had been lucky enough to be Emma's. I don't know
why she chose me, but I wasn't complaining.
It had been three weeks since we last spoke, and I felt myself getting a
little antsy. I wonder if I should instigate something, but there was
something about her coming to me. I loved the feeling of her using me
whenever she felt it was needed. I didn't want to break that bond by going
after her, especially when she seemed so skittish around men who hit on
her.
It was Saturday and everyone was meeting at my place to go out to the
bars for Halloween. We had a few drinks beforehand, all my friends excited
to head out to our favorite bar. We ordered a few Uber's and made our way
downtown.
Everywhere was packed, but I had been smart enough to call the owner
of our usual bar to reserve our normal spot. I could see some disgruntled
people as we took our seats, annoyed that we were able to get a table.
"Hey, guys!" Courtney, one of the servers stops at our table, "Someone
will be over in just a moment. We had two girls quit on us about three hours
ago, and our backup just got here and is putting on her costume right now."
"No problem!" My sister says as she walks away swiftly to her table to
take their order. "I forgot how busy it gets here on holidays." She says to us.
"Yeah, I would hate to work here. I honestly don't understand how these
girls do it." Maura says, "I've seen half of these guys eyeing them up like
they're their next meal."
"Maybe they are?" I sent an annoyed glance at my sisters date, Mark,
whose eyes have strayed more times than I can count in the ten minutes
we've been here. "I would definitely use this place as a way to relieve stress
if I were them."
Lu gave him a weird look and I saw Oliver biting his tongue, but no one
got a chance to say anything in return, because our server finally arrived.
"Sorry about the wait you guys. Can I get you started with anything?"
My heart jumped when I recognized the voice, head turning to see Emma
standing before us. My eyes widened as I took in her costume. She was
wearing a German barmaid costume, her hair up in two buns, and thigh-
high stockings that made my dick twitch. She glanced at me, but gave no
hint that we knew each other.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mike whisper into Naomi's ear, her
eyes widening and smirking, taking in Emma's appearance once more. One
by one my friends order drinks. I watch her closely as she looks at
everyone, nodding politely as they recite their order. When she gets to me
her eyes gleam down at me, and she smirks.
"And what can I get for you?" She asks with a hint of teasing behind her
voice.
"I'll take a Rum & Coke, top shelf."
 "Of course."
She turned her head to Mike and Naomi, tilting her head as she realized
he was there as well, "Oh, hey Mike."
"It's nice to see you, Emma. This is my wife, Naomi." He turns towards
the brunette next to him.
"Wait, how do you know each other?" Luanne asks.
"Emma goes to Harry and I's gym." He answers simply, but gives me a
look.
I silently thank myself for not telling Mike about what's been going on
between Emma and I. Oliver, however, had easily connected the dots, his
face lit up like a Christmas tree, eyes darting back and forth Emma and I. I
kicked him under the table and gave him a look when he winced.
My phone pinged on the table in front of me a moment later when Emma
was getting Naomi's drink order.
"I'll have a Cosmo."
Oliver: Is that THE Emma?
I rolled my eyes.
"What was your name again?"
I looked up to see my sister's date leering at Emma. I glanced up to see
Emma smiling politely, "Emma."
Harry: Yes. Don't make it obvious prick.
"Are you new here. I'm a regular and I haven't seen you around." I look
up at him to see a rather challenging expression on his face. Luanne looks
annoyed as hell sitting next to him and I could see Oliver clench his jaw as
he opened my text.
"I haven't worked here regularly in two years. I just fill in when they're
desperate. I'll put these drinks in and be right back." She quickly excused
herself from the table without a second glance.
Mark actually leans out of the booth to check her out, and I have to
swallow a scoff and look away in order not to punch the guy. I understand
wanting to flirt with Emma. She's absolutely gorgeous, and her little
costume was enough to get any man half-hard, but for him to do it so
clearly in front of my sister infuriates me.
Oliver: Where did she find this one. He's pissing me off.
Everyone continues to talk, Maura recanting last years crazy Halloween
night. I tuned them out, watching the crowd and texting Oliver.
 Harry: She met him here a few weeks ago. This is their third date or
something.
Oliver: You looked like you wanted to rip his head off when he was
checking Emma out.
Harry: I didn't like how he was doing it in front of Lulu.
Oliver: Right. It had nothing to do with the fact that you're already
planning on how to take her home tonight.
I snorted.
Oliver: You're right she's absolutely gorgeous. Wouldn't have
thought you would go for her since you have a thing for blondes.
"Harry have you been seeing anyone lately?" I hear Mike ask.
I can already predict exactly what he was going to say. "Nope. Taking a
bit of a break from dating."
I see Oliver smirk next to me.
Harry: Don't know why everyone says that. I'm an equal
opportunist.
"You're not sleeping with anyone?" Maura asks boldly.
I raise my eyebrows at her in amusement. For some reason, she has
always loved talking about my love life. I shake my head at her as Emma
returns with a tray full of drinks. Her balance was impressive as she set our
drinks down one by one.
"Can we please not talk about my brothers sex life for one night?" Lu
asks desperately, smiling at Emma as she places her vodka redbull in front
of her. "I hear enough of your stupid flings at that gym of yours."
I saw Emma freeze for the smallest of seconds, only visible to me. Her
eyes darted to mine, almost as a warning. I knew from that moment to never
cross her, and I really hoped she wasn't thinking I told everyone. Oliver
wouldn't say anything, I knew that. He was also right in guessing I was
already planning on how to get her alone tonight.
I gave her a small head shake, hoping she'll believe me. She returned a
curt nod as she placed my drink down. She left after asking if she could get
anything else, ignoring Mark as he tried to say something flirty to her. I
watched her go as inconspicuously as possible. I looked back at my phone
to see Oliver's texts.
Oliver: True, but lately you've been into nothing but blondes.
Oliver: I don't think she thinks you told anyone. Don't worry, I
won't say anything.
 Oliver: I swear, I'm about to punch this guy. Lu's got to be out of
her mind.
I smiled down at my phone before replying.
Harry: I don't think there's any way she's heading home with him
tonight.
"So, Harry, what do you do again? Luanne's told me you work at
Spectron Tech?" Mark asks in an attempt to get friendly.
I could see right through him, and I noticed that Lu had started to
distance herself from him. She had turned away from her date and was
talking in depth with Maura in very low whispers. I knew they were talking
about him, so I decided to keep him talking, so he wouldn't notice.
"Yeah, I do."
"You an engineer or something?"
I take a sip of my cocktail, noticing the two cherries in it. I smiled,
knowing Emma put those in for me. Maybe it was an olive branch, inviting
me to test the waters tonight.
"No, I'm head of accounting." I answer briskly.
I refrained a roll of the eyes at his surprised look. "Woah, mate, never
would've pegged you for a pencil pusher."
My eyebrows shot up. Luanne and Maura had ceased their hushed
whispers and watched us. I could sense the unease coming off my sister,
wishing she wouldn't have invited him. I wonder if he had been like this on
their other dates. Luanne was strong and opinionated, but sometimes she
got a little lonely and lowered her standards just so she could have someone
to cuddle with at night.
"What would you have pegged me for?" I say.
"I don't know..." He says, oblivious to the tension radiating from the
table. I could tell everyone was just waiting for me to blow up. Luanne
looking at me with apprehension. I couldn't help myself sometimes. Luanne
was my person, my closest family member and my best friend, and I hated
the guys she hung out with, "like a trainer, maybe a boxer."
I shrugged, not wanting to admit that I boxed quite often, "Accountants
can't look like this?"
"Never said they couldn't, but you don't see a lot of them who do."
"Mike works with me. Do you think he looks like an accountant." I
challenged him.
He glanced at the guy next to me and tilted his head, "Yeah."
 "I don't know if I should take that as a compliment." Mike muttered
under his breath. Naomi reached over to squeeze his leg.
"You know, I used to be pretty good at maths. Think you could get me a
job there?"
"No." I deadpan, downing my drink. I try and look around for Emma, so I
can order another one, but don't see her anywhere.
"Oli, how's work going for you? How's the promotion to detective?" Lu
butts in, wanting to stop whatever cock fight was happening between her
brother and date.
Oliver took the chance, smiling at my sister warmly, "Pretty good. Still
low on the ranks and I'm given the duds, usually, but I did just close a really
cool jewelry heist."
I tune everyone out once again, my eyes wandering around the bar. It's
full of drunk people in crazy costumes. I was feeling on edge now, wishing
my little sister would stop seeing assholes like this.
Would it really be so bad to have Oliver and Lu date? They obviously
like each other. They have for years. I could sense it in the way they're
talking right now: eyes glued to one another, soft smiles littering their faces.
I wonder why they had never tried to take that final step. It couldn't just be
because of me. I mean if I were them I would've gone behind their back
years ago.
Just as I was about to get up and order myself another drink, I spotted
her. She was at a computer putting in an order, a tall guy standing by her
trying to speak with her. Emma looked pissed as she turned towards him
and said something sharp. I was entranced at the fierceness in her eyes, but
I was also incredibly curious. She looked like she knew this guy. He was
dressed as Jack Sparrow, hair about as long as I used to have it a few years
back.
I watched intently, her posture going stiff as he touches her lower back.
She looks back at a table opposite us, a younger blonde girl talking
animatedly to some friends. My eyes flit back to Emma, who has clearly
just said something that the guy didn't like. I saw his jaw clench and he spit
back some words that made her freeze. My brows furrowed as her eyes
went sad. Even at this distance I could read her.
Watching her mood fluctuate as much as I did these past four months, I
felt like I could read her like an open book. Her entire demeanor has
changed from the laid back, confident woman who had just been at our
table to the now hurt, quiet girl letting some guy berate her.
His mouth continues to move as she silently puts in an order. I can tell
she's just trying to ignore him, but he wasn't letting that happen. I felt
myself get more and more frustrated watching the scene before me, almost
willing to get out of my seat to help her out, but just as the thought had
popped in my head, the petite, blonde girl from before made her way to
them. She seemed completely oblivious to the tension around the two of
them as she reached in for a hug, Emma giving in reluctantly, glaring at the
guy as they embraced.
My friends were all talking animatedly about something, and I half-assed
a laugh when someone said something somewhat funny, just so no one
would notice my attention on our server. The blonde girl leaned up on her
tip toes to peck the guys lips, and I saw the hurt in Emma's face. Maybe this
was part of the reason she had always seemed so down and frustrated at the
gym. This guy was clearly an ex-something.
When the obvious couple left, Emma's eyes stayed on them, watching
them wistfully. I could sense the pain coming off of her and when she
looked away her eyes immediately found mine. Nether of us broke eye
contact, both frowning, hers from sadness and mine from confusion. I didn't
like seeing her like this. I missed the fire in her eyes when she got excited
and the mischievous look on her face that taunted me in my sleep. She
wasn't made to look so heartbroken, she was strong and independent and I
wanted to help bring that back.
I straighten up and lift my empty class, signaling for another drink. She
blinks and nods her head, turning back to the computer to ring me up. I
keep my eyes on her as she gathers up drinks for another table, walking
over to them gracefully, tray in hand. I saw the familiar fake smile she put
on, so different from the cheeky one she gave me earlier. This one was just
like the one she always gave people at the gym when they were interrupting
her workout with tedious smalltalk or flirting.
Her shoulders had dropped a bit, posture not as confident as it was
moments ago. Her spirit had deflated. I wanted to bring that back.
As if she could sense my gaze, she glanced over. Our eyes held, but her
attention was pulled back to her table momentarily. I didn't give a shit about
what my friends were saying now. All I wanted was to make her feel good.
I wanted her to feel my eyes take in her body, because it surely was one of
the most alluring things I've ever had the pleasure to look at.
And the fact that I have had the pleasure to feel her twice now was
making his cock grow in my pants.
Which was really not a good thing considering I'm wearing doctor's
scrubs as my costume tonight, and they didn't hide anything.
But I couldn't stop looking at her. Her legs looked so strong, thighs thick
and reminding me of how they felt wrapped around me. Her cute little
barmaid skirt landed right at mid thigh above where her thigh high socks
landed. I could just picture her in lingerie, garter belt and baby doll dresses
and lace. Maybe if I bought her something she would where it for me.
She was at the bar top, waiting for my drink presumably. She kept
glancing at me, and I made it painfully obvious how much I wanted her. I
pinched my lower lip with two fingers then moved them down to my neck
to scratch at my skin. My hand wrapped around my neck for just a second
to see how she would react to my subtle nod at our first time together.
I was pleased to see the smallest of smiles litter her face, just one second
where she wasn't thinking of him. Her attention was torn when the bartender
set a drink down. I watched her put two cherries in it and glance back at me
to make sure I was watching. She took a cocktail napkin and wrote
something on it, placing the drink on it after and started to walk over to our
table. I bit my lip as her breasts, too big for the corset style top, jiggled with
every step.
I was practically salivating by the time she was bending over towards me,
delicately placing my drink in front of me. Her little hand wrapped around
my empty drink teasingly, and when I looked up to her blue eyes I saw that
mystery and spark starting to come back. I smiled to myself as she
addressed the table, lifting the drink off the napkin to steal her message
while everyone's attention was on Emma.
Down the hall, third door on your right. Keep your eyes on me.
Immediately, I folded up the napkin and stuffed it into my breast pocket.
I was feeling antsy now, wanting her right at this moment, in front of
everyone. I wonder if she liked to be watched... No, she seemed more
private than that, and I would be crazy to share her with anyone. I liked
knowing I was the one making her feel that way, and even though I had had
threesomes in the past that was never something I would want with her. Her
and her whines and perfect tits and tight cunt were enough for me.
 I sipped at my drink as Emma memorized everyone's orders again, and
talked us into some food as well. Her striking pale eyes met mine just as I
had wrapped my lips around one of the cherries she so sweetly put in my
drink. Her eyes flicked down to my lips and I made a show of it.
Another moment just between the two of us.
She crossed her leg over her other as she stood, and I noticed the tight
muscles in her thighs. She was clenching, turned on by me and my lips. The
cherry in my mouth tasting delectable as its juices spilled onto my tongue as
I bite down on the skin.
Fuck, it was getting hot in here, and as I watched her walk away I found
myself secretly adjusting myself under the table.
Time went by at a snail's pace. The bar was packed until midnight when
people started to finally head out. My eyes had been glued to Emma's body
almost the entire time, jumping into my friend's conversation occasionally
as not to raise suspicion. I noticed how that guy from earlier was at one of
Emma's tables, so she had to interact with him, but it seemed as long as he
was with the blonde he didn't say anything.
I could still feel the pain and hurt radiating off of her, the stiffness in her
shoulders and slight coldness in her eyes, but she kept looking back at me.
It was almost like my presence was calming her down. It seemed
farfetched, but I liked that thought.
It wasn't until almost one in the morning when half my friends had
decided to head out, Luanne's date leaving quickly when he saw some of his
friends. Oliver offered to take her home, and I knew something had
changed. It was the way they were looking at each other tonight, the way
Oliver had kept my sisters spirits up as her boy-toy embarrassed her with
every sentence he spoke.
I nodded my head at them when they said goodbye, Mike and Naomi
leaving with them. Oliver's hand placed on Lu's lower back, guiding her out
of the bar safely. It was then that I wished they would just go for it. I
wanted my sister happy, and it had been so long since I had been able to see
that. Oliver deserved happiness to, and it had been obvious for years how in
love he was with her. He had been so loyal and the best friend I could ever
had. He was the type of guy I always hoped Luanne would fall for.
My attention was turned when Emma walked right past me. Like a moth
to a light, my eyes followed her through the less crowded bar right to a
hallway. She turned to look back at me, a knowing smile crossing her face
as she walked out of my sight.
Chapter Seven

EMMA
It seems as though all I needed was Harry's lips against mine and his
cock tenting his cute doctor's pants. The moment he locked the door behind
him he had been sensational, his hands already bringing me to my high
once. I was on cloud nine when he turned me around and lifted up my skirt.
"Looking delectable in this little costume, Emma. Made me hard at the
table just watching you walk away." He says gruffly, finding the edge of my
underwear and pulling them down. I feel him spread my cheeks, and I bend
down closer to the counter so he has a better view. "Bet you would feel so
good here, but tonight I need to be inside your cunt. Need to feel you clench
around me and soak up all my come."
"Yes, please, Harry..." I whine out.
He large rough hands grip my thighs and pulls my legs farther apart, and
I faintly heard his pants hit the floor, and moments later I feel his stiff cock
rubbing against my folds. I hiss as he hits my swollen, over-stimulated clit
over and over again, but the pain is welcoming. He pulls himself away, and
I look down to see him position two fingers at my opening, the rough pads
of his fingers feel so good against my silky, private skin. I mewl when he
pushes in, as deep as I allow him. When he pulls out they don't return,
instead appearing in front of my face.
I can smell my arousal on him, and surprisingly it makes my mouth
water. I open wide so he can place his two fingers on my tongue, and I
immediately start sucking and licking him clean. It's then he decided to stuff
me full of his cock, my scream muffled by his fingers. He keeps them there
as he thrusts slowly into me. The angle is satisfying, his cock hitting my g-
spot nearly every time.
"Always feel so good, Emma. I'm the only one who gets to feel you like
this, right?" He asks breathily.
 I nod my head, wondering how he knew I wasn't sleeping with anyone
but him. His fingers slip out of my mouth and I gasp for air before
answering, "Just you, Harry... Am I the only one who gets your cock?"
He laughs at my question, "Can't think of anything but your body, so
what do you think?"
His thrusts become harder, enough for me to slam my palm against the
mirror in front of us to hold me steady. While one arm wraps around my
torso to keep me still, the other brings its hand down to where we're
connected and starts pinching my clit.
I squeal, "S-so sensitive..."
"Want me to stop?"
His fingers hold steady on me, waiting for my answer. I want to squirm
away, but at the same time I want him to torture my bud until it's throbbing
and I'm crying. I've never felt like this before, always only allowing one clit
stimulated orgasm because I couldn't handle anymore, but whenever I was
with Harry I always wanted to push my limits.
I shake my head, "No... don't stop, please."
He bit down lightly on my shoulder as he started to roll my nerve
between his thumb and forefinger, his thrusts now speeding up. Suddenly
the fire in my stomach roared to life and my second orgasm took over. I
brought my forearm in front of my to bite down on, so I wouldn't scream
out.
"That's right, baby. It's okay, I've got you." He pulls out of me and turns
me around, lifting me up onto the counter like a rag doll. I look down to see
his giant erection glistening in my juices, tip red, so close to coming I'm
surprised he didn't just keep going. "Look at me, Emma." My eyes glance
up to meet his, the familiar darkened green exciting me further. "Know that
took a lot out of you, but I'd like to try for another." His lips come closer to
mine. "Has anyone ever made you come three times in a row?"
I shake my head, my hands gripping his hair, "Never came twice..."
He smiles at this, "Yeah? Can I try, baby? Want to make you feel better."
Feel better.
Not feel good. Feel better.
I could feel his eyes on me all night, and I really shouldn't be surprised
that he saw what happened with me and Jake. I hadn't thought of him since
Harry's lips had touched mine about thirty minutes ago. The only time
tonight that I had gotten any relief from what my ex had said to me.
 I take my hand to his cheek and say, "Make me forget, Harry."
With my admission he doesn't waste a second by pushing into me again
this time easing into me carefully, testing the waters to see just how much I
could take. I feel my body practically turn to jelly in his arms, my head
rolling back exposing my neck to his swollen lips, and I let his strong arms
hold me tight to keep me up while mine sat uselessly at my sides.
He's rolling his hips sensually into me, rocking against my swollen clit,
causing whimpers and gasps to leave my mouth. I could feel myself get
wetter and wetter as his rolls turned into thrusts, and his hands gripped my
hips so tight I would be able to feel him for days. He was making my hips
meet his in a dizzying rhythm that soon had me begging him for more.
"Close... Oh god, Harry..." I gasp out as I throb around his thick length.
He trails his bottom lip from the hollow of my neck to my jaw and finally
to my lips, where he has tilted my head back to him. Playfully he nips at my
bottom lip, making a drunk smile appear on my face. My eyes open hazily,
meeting his dark mesmerizing green orbs. He's got the most devilish look
on his face, one that erases every bad feeling and thought I had tonight. He
was everything I needed to make me forget.
Him and his mouth and his wicked fingers and, most of all, his twitching
glorious cock. I can see him holding back his orgasm, desperate to get me
my third. Never had a man been so determined to bring me to my high even
once, but Harry has made it his sole mission to take away the bad.
He saw me tonight. He watched me and desired me in a way I had never
felt.
"C'mon, Emma..." His voice was so gruff and sexy, pleading for me to let
go. "I can feel you clenching. Your pussy is just begging for another release.
Give it to me."
He's now pounding into me, holding my hips to the edge of the counter.
My hands fly up to his unruly hair, clenching it as my mouth opens in a
silent scream. He's right: my core is aching for him in every way. I've never
felt myself spasm around a cock the way I am his, and I can see what it's
doing to him, his pupils blown as his face is set, determination in his
features. I can't believe how he's holding off considering how long we've
been at this, and how well I worked him with my mouth before he tugged
me up off the ground to feel how wet he had made me.
My back arches suddenly, almost violently as the fire in my belly
explodes, a white hot inferno engulfing my every sense. I completely lose
track of time as my orgasm destroys me, only the feeling of Harry
erratically thrusting into me, stilling as he spills into me for the third time.
It's a feeling I loved, a feeling I had never felt with any other man.
As the world stopped spinning and my breathing normalized, I have
realized just how much I've never experienced sexually until this man came
into my life. He's not even really in it, just a stranger that has somehow
brought me comfort and pleasure in a way that has surprised me over and
over.
My fingers dance over the sweaty skin on the back of his neck as he
breathes heavily into my chest. I had leaned back so the back of my head
rests against the mirror, one hand propping me up behind me. As he came,
Harry collapsed on top of me, forehead resting above my heart. We stay like
this for a while, until he lifts his head, the smallest, laziest smile gracing his
completely fucked out face. I can't help the small laugh that escapes me as I
take in his satisfied, goofy face.
He begins to slowly pull out of me, the slight discomfort clear on both of
our faces. I can already tell just how sore I'll be in the morning, but I'm
already missing him, his touch, the look on his face as he pushes into me for
the first time.
Before I get a chance to do anything, Harry kneels to the floor and brings
his mouth to my aching, sensitive core. I flinch away, but his strong hands
bring me in closer to him. I think for a crazy second that he's really going to
try for a fourth orgasm, but I feel his tongue lightly move up and down, a
small sucking feeling, and I realize he's cleaning me up. With his mouth.
My jaw drops as I straighten up and pull the skirt of my costume up to
watch him. His eyes are closed as he softly sucks up a mixture of mine and
his come. It's lewd and wild and absolutely a huge turn on. Once again he
does something that I had never even thought I would've enjoyed, but I
watch him devour our juices, moaning quietly to himself as if it's the best
thing he's ever tasted.
I mean... shit.
When he's satisfied he opens his eyes and stands, his lip and chin
glistening. The moment he's up, I'm gripping his shirt in my fist and hauling
him towards me. My lips suck on his bottom lip, tongue swiping up our
mess before he deepens our kiss. I can taste us on his tongue, and I moan at
the feeling it gives me. It's tangy and salty and somehow tastes better than
any man I've taken in my mouth.
 Slowly we peel away from each other, a completely satisfied look on his
face as his eyes take in my disheveled look. I smirk and reach awkwardly to
the towel dispenser, taking the paper and wiping the rest oof our arousals
off his chin. He lets me clean him up, no fussing or annoyance as I had
experienced previously. He was so different. So... flexible and spontaneous,
never seeming to plan out any of these encounters, just going with the flow,
or, really, going with my needs.
"We should probably stop hogging the bathroom..." I say quietly, not
really wanting to move from his arms.
He hums, "I guess we should."
He doesn't make a move to separate from me, instead fixing up the top of
my barmaid costume. I smile at the look of concentration on his face as he
fixes me up, stepping away - hand still on my body - to bend down and
collect my underwear from the floor. He slides them up my legs, and helps
me off the counter, my legs a little wobbly, as he pulls them all the way on.
He even straightens my skirt out and pulls it down so it covers me the way
it should.
"Want me to do you?" I ask with a giggle, a sound that has literally never
escaped my mouth in my entire life.
The corner of his mouth turns up in a lopsided grin, "Nah, I'd like for
everyone to know you fucked the life out of me when we walk out."
My face burns red and I playfully push him away, turning to look in the
mirror. My costume looks normal, like it hadn't been moved at all, but my
face gave it away. I looked fucked. My eyes flicker back to his as he
watches me in the mirror and I can't help but smile. This man has
completely made my night.
Once we're exiting and walking down the hall, I can hear the noticeably
quieter chatter from the leftover patrons and servers. My section had been
completed when I had given Harry the signal to follow me, only Jake and
his friends still there.
Even though I desperately didn't want them to see me sneak off with a
guy, I needed to get away from them. They had been my friends too, for the
two or so years Jake and I had been together. I thought they were my best
friends, but when he broke my heart every single one of them disappeared.
Half of them ghosted me when I would text them to hang out when I was
feeling lonely, the other half giving me excuse after excuse until I just gave
up.
 When I came in and saw that they were here, I silently prayed that they
would be already taken care of, but of course they were designated to me
along with Harry and a couple other tables. The moment I had walked up,
the fakest smile possible on my face, I was met with equally fake greetings
and exclamations. The girls fawned over my costume and told me we
needed to hang out while most of the guys ignored me, blatantly checked
me out, or in the case of John condescendingly asked me why I was still
working in this bar.
He had always been such an ass, belittling me in front of everyone, no
one ever sticking up for me when he did this. I had worked at this bar for
about three years out of college while I subbed before getting placed at
Huntington Primary. This had been our bar while we dated, his friends
joining him most weekends as I served them and hung out afterwards.
I knew some of them had looked down on me for having a service job,
but I needed the extra money. Jake had known this and had never made fun
of me, but had always made little comments about it that made me feel less
than.
Lauren hadn't shown up at that time, so Jake and his friends had been
completely free to treat me like they always did, but the moment she arrived
it was like I was no one. That part didn't really bug me, mainly because it
made my job easier, but also because I have already realized how shitty of
friends they were to me, so them faking excitement at seeing me and then
turning around to treat me like a stranger was right up their alley.
My eyes immediately scanned the half-full bar, hoping they had left, but
nearly audibly groaned when I saw that most of them were still here. They
were obviously drunk, more drinks on their table as I realized they must've
decided to keep drinking after I paid them out.
I could feel Harry's eyes on me as we walked out into the open, but my
eyes regrettably locked with Jake's. His dark brown eyes bore into mine. I
watched as his eyes flickered behind me, turning even colder at the sight of
anther man following me out of the back hall. It was clear as day that we
had just fucked each other, both faces still flushed, Harry's hair untamable
from the time my fingers spent in it. His eyes returned to me, and I felt
heaps of judgement roll my way.
I broke eye contact as I turned my head to the ground, so I could get out
of here as quickly as possible. I'm surprised when I feel warmth envelope
my hand, tugging me into a rock hard body. My eyes widen as Harry openly
kisses me in front of everyone. I doubt anyone but Jake and possibly his
friends care all that much. I'm sure one or two of my old coworkers will
tease me when I see them next, but all of that anxiety washes away as I feel
myself melt into his body.
My hand softly cups his jaw as his arm wraps around me to bring me in
tight. Our kiss is passionate as always, but so sensual. He takes his time as
he explores, and I realize his friends have all left, so he has no reason to
hide anymore.
Our embrace ends slowly and with a few cute pecks, but he keeps me
close. I open my eyes and see the vibrant green staring down at me. He
smiles and bites his bottom lip, making me desperately want to kiss him
again when I see his eyes flicker behind me. I know instantly who he's
staring at, who he's challenging. The thought makes me slightly
uncomfortable, but then he's looking down at me again, and I've fallen
under his spell.
"Come home with me." He says lowly.
The air leaves my lungs as my jaw drops at his suggestion. He wants me
to come over? And what... stay the night? I feel as if that could be crossing
the invisible line we drew, but at the same time I can feel myself already
nodding. It's like my body speaks for my mind, already gearing up for the
multiple orgasms he will so expertly bring us.
His smile is bright at the probably dumb look on my face. He reaches
behind him and pulls out his phone. "Put in your phone number? I'll text
you my address. I figure you have to finish a few things up before you
leave?"
"Uh... yeah, I do." I take his phone and type in my phone number. I hand
it back to him and I watch him type out a text to me, his address telling me
he lives in a nice area. I swallow harshly as he looks back up at me.
He leans down to kiss me once more, mumbling into my lips, "Don't be
too long. Not sure I can survive without another taste of you."
"Fuck." I groan out, making him chuckle.
In a turn of events, he pecks my lips then my nose, a gesture that feels so
familiar, but too intimate for the two of us. I let it pass though by giving
him a smile and patting his cheek, "Alright, I'll be there soon."
I could see the excitement in his eyes, the happiness my answer had
given him and it made me feel giddy. I don't think any guy I've dated or
slept with has ever been this passionate about me going over to their house.
He genuinely looked like a kid on Christmas who had just gotten what he
had asked Santa for. I was his present, wrapped up in a slightly slutty
German barmaid costume.
He walks away, his head turning to catch one last glimpse of me before
walking out the door. I try and hold back the ridiculous smile on my face,
but I just feel so elated. I hurry over to the bar and finish up the little
amount of paperwork I had left and clocked out. I went to the back to gather
my jacket and purse, digging into it to find my phone as I make my way
back out to the bar. When I find it my heart leaps when I see his text
waiting for me, an unknown number, address, and surprisingly an extra text.
From Unknown: Can't get the taste of you out of my mouth. It's
making me desperate, Emma. Want to march back in and take you on
top of the bar so everyone can see just how amazing you feel.
I feel my body heat rise as I read the text he obviously sent as he got in
his car. I was already thinking of some new things we could try tonight
when an unwanted voice pulls me out of my salacious thoughts.
"So, what, now you're fucking random men in bathrooms now?"
I look up to see Jake, eyes dark as he glares down at me.
"That's none of your business anymore. Why do you even care?" I shoot
back at him.
He scoffs at me, "I thought you respected yourself more than that, Emma,
but now I see you're just a whore."
"Excuse me?!" I ask incredulously, "What the fuck makes you think you
can talk to me like that?"
"I care about you!" He says back frustratingly, "I don't want to see you go
down the path-"
I laughed ruefully, "You've got to be kidding me. You don't give a shit
about me, Jake. You tossed me aside like garbage when someone younger
and prettier and, I guess, more parent-friendly than I am came around. Also,
it's some fucking hypocritical bullshit that you're calling me a whore when I
recall you calling me a few weeks ago begging me to fuck you when I'm
sure your girlfriend was inside whatever bar you got druunk at!" I hissed
out at him.
"Oh wow, making shit up now, Emma? How desperate can you get?"
I'm practically seeing red as he basically denies calling me up as a booty
call however many weeks ago. I can't believe I ever loved this pathetic,
worthless pile of dogshit.
 "You know what? I'm so fucking over this. I'm over you and your lies and
your mind tricks. Jake, get this through your head: I don't want you
anymore. We are not together. You do not own me. I can fuck whoever I
want, whenever I want, wherever the fuck I want." I say quietly to him,
trying not to make a scene. I storm past him, bumping his shoulder on the
way out before turning back quickly to say, "Oh, and by the way, that's not
some random guy I was fucking."
"What? Are you two dating?" He asks infuriated at the thought.
I laugh unamused and roll my eyes. I turn around and walk out of the bar
briskly, keys in my hand as I race to my car, desperately hoping he doesn't
follow me out. I only sigh out a breath of relief as I pull out of the parking
lot.
I know I let Jake think Harry and I were dating or something, but I kind
of enjoyed the slight look of panic that appeared on his face as I told him
Harry wasn't a random hookup I met tonight. I could see him realize the
hold he had on me was slipping, and I knew that would cause him a lot of
strife. Even though Harry and I are the furthest from dating, I decide to
keep up the facade that I'm happy with someone else. Maybe this will get
Jake off my back for good.
I follow the instructions to Harry's easily, the entire way getting angrier
by the second. How fucking dare he call me a whore after what he's done. If
anyone's a whore it's that pathetic loser. It's not like he didn't use me as an
easy lay for months after he broke my heart, giving me false hope that we
would get back together all while he was starting a relationship with
Lauren.
I honestly felt bad for Lauren. The poor girl didn't deserve someone like
Jake. She was one of the nicest most genuine people I had ever met, and she
had fallen in love with a parasite just as I had.
My phone tells me we are at the location, so I pull over on the street and
look over. Harry's house is nice. It's a two story, old brick-style townhouse
that I'm sure cost a fortune. He must have a lot of money, or a good paying
job to afford something like this. I think of my dinky apartment and sigh.
This was the exact type a home I had always dreamed of, but knew I could
never afford.
I get out of the car, holding my jacket tight to my body as I make my way
up the steps. Nervously I knock on the door, hoping I've got the right house
and that Harry hadn't changed his mind, deciding it was best to keep this
more casual. I still couldn't believe he invited me over. It's not like we didn't
already sleep together tonight. My body could probably only handle one,
maybe two more orgasms, but I was still desperate for more.
Any and all nerves, anger, and hesitation eased away as his door opened.
His easy grin, full lips, and shirtless torso had put everything on the back
burner. I was suddenly very happy that fate had brought us together tonight
and Harry had the balls to take the next step.
I didn't want anything serious. I liked our strangers with benefits deal
going on, and was certain I couldn't emotionally or mentally handle another
boyfriend at the moment. Harry was perfect for that. It was clear he wasn't
looking for a relationship from everything I've heard about him. He was
detached and horny. Exactly what I needed.
"I wasn't sure you would actually show up." He says.
I raise my eyebrows at him, "Why wouldn't I?"
He tugs me into the warmth of his house, turning me around to peel off
my jacket and hang it in the closet next to the door for me. Peeking in I see
just a few winter coats that looked like they all belonged to him.
"Seems like this might be breaking some invisible line we've set up for
ourselves."
I smirk as I turn back to him, "It kind of does."
I see a moment of hesitation flicker across his face before he masks it,
and grabs my hand to pull me further into his house.
"Also, this further proves that your plan all along was to kidnap me and
murder me." I tease, hoping he remembered our conversation at the gym
weeks ago.
He laughs at this, "Yeah, well I figured I should move to the next step in
my evil plan before you beat me to it."
This was easy. Talking to him, enjoying his company, checking out his
incredibly sexy back muscles as he walked us to his kitchen.
"Tea?" He asks me. I give him a look, not expecting to sit down and have
a friendly cup of tea with him. Honestly, I'm surprised we still have any
clothes on. He chuckles at the look on my face, "Emma, calm down. I just
wanted to talk to you about... an idea I have."
I nod my head, "An idea?"
"Yeah, just a thought I had earlier today."
"Okay..."
 He bites the inside of his mouth before continuing, and I realize that he's
suddenly nervous. It's cute, really. Normally he seems so confident and self-
assured, but I can see him doubting himself for the first time in front of me.
"Well, the few times we've been together we've done stuff that I've never
had the chance or comfort level to try before." I nod my head, raising my
eyebrows in a teasing manner. He smirks at me, "Like choking you while
fucking you against the wall of a very public shower..."
"Or spanking me while I ride you in your car in a very public parking
lot." He breathes out a laugh, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.
"Have you ever fucked someone in the bathroom of a bar?"
"Well, that I have done." He tells me. I don't know why, but I frown
deeply. He catches on quickly, saying, "But I've never given a girl three
orgasms, or fucked her raw... or cleaned her pussy after we came together
with my own mouth."
I started to salivate at just his words, finally picking up the cup of tea set
in front of me. I'm pleasantly surprised when it hits my tongue, Chamomile
being my favorite. As I sip the steaming liquid, I look up as innocently as I
possibly can at him. He's staring down at me, eyes glued to my lips as they
pucker over the rim of his glass cup.
"Okay," I say after a moment of charged silence, "so you like it? Is this
your way of asking me to do butt stuff?"
"No," he pauses before backtracking, "well, yes. I really would like to try
that, like a lot, and very soon if that's okay with you..." I purse my lips and
shrug casually. "Uh, what I meant, though, was that my idea, well, plan
really... proposition, I guess."
"Spit it out, Harry. I've only got so much patience before I start ripping
off your clothes."
My blunt response stops him in his tracks. I see him shuffle a bit, his
hand going down to reposition himself in his very comfy looking sweats. I
wonder silently if he'll let me borrow them so I can get out of this stupid
costume. Maybe after I give him a stellar blowie.
"Fuck, where did you come from?" He says almost to himself. He
swallows and says, "I was thinking that we could continue this... thing that's
going on. You know, like a friends with benefits thing."
I cock an eyebrow at his suggestion, "I mean, we're hardly friends." I tell
him, slowly walking around the kitchen stand to where he's standing. "More
like strangers with benefits."
 "Acquaintances with benefits?" He suggests, "We don't need to get
serious, but what we have is just between us. I don't want to share you."
I grin widely at the possessiveness in his tone, "We'll need rules."
"Yeah," He steps forward, taking my tea from my hands and caging me in
against the counter. "and we'll need to talk about limits."
I rub my hands up and down his bare chest and hum, "Can't say I've not
thought about what else you're capable of."
"Anything. Anything you want."
"That's a lot of power."
"I think you and I both know you wear the pants in this non-relationship."
I snort at this, causing a bright smile to appear on his face. My hands find
their way to the band of his sweats and toy with it. "If that's the case," I
force myself on to my tiptoes and whisper in his ear, "can I wear these
tonight?"
He laughs, his hand squeezing my hip, finding amusement in my
question, "Angel, you can wear any of my clothes, or none at all. That's the
first rule: When we're together you're either in my clothes or naked."
I tisk, ignoring the way my heart speeds up at the use of the pet name,
"Looks like I'm already breaking the rules. Do I get a punishment?"
Harry practically growls as he pushes himself against me. His teeth tug at
my earlobe, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine. "Oh god, what
am I gonna do with you? You want a punishment?" I nod my head
innocently. "What do you think you think you deserve?"
"You thrusting your cock in my mouth until my throat is raw."
Chapter Eight

HARRY
I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Maybe I rescued a puppy from a burning building in a past life or this
was karma from that time I helped that old lady load up her groceries in her
car.
All I know is that I must be the luckiest guy in the world to have my cock
down what I'm now certain is an angel's throat.
Emma seemed to know exactly how I imagined her sucking me off for
the past few weeks. It's like she's been in my head. From the moment she
went down on her knees, teasingly pulled down my sweats to discover I had
never put on any underwear to the cheeky smile I got when my dick
twitched at her slightest touch. Her big eyes looking up at me as her full lips
finally wrapped around the head of my swollen cock made me nearly come
right then and there.
I didn't last long before I took hold of the back of her head and started
thrusting into her mouth. I watched her intently to make sure she was okay
with this, but when her hands moved to grope my butt I took it as a good
sign. I didn't go as hard as I wanted, knowing we still needed to talk about
limits and wants and desires.
Finally, I tear her away from me, pick her up, and lift her over my
shoulder. I smile as her laughter fills my home. I ignore the way it makes
my heart rate pick up, and makes my stomach flutter. That's the last thing I
need right now.
I walk up my stairs carefully, relishing the feeling of her hands gripping
onto me as tightly as she could so she wouldn't fall. When we reach my
room, I kick the door closed behind us and gently lay her on my bed. I'm
already completely naked and she's still wearing that devilish barmaid
costume. More blood pumps to my crotch as I look at her on my bed.
I hadn't had a girl in my bed since my last girlfriend years ago, and
Emma was... she was gorgeous, stunning, lively, effervescent. She was still
laughing, but her eyes were on my body. I reveled in her obvious approval.
I loved her eyes on me. Rarely had I caught her looking at me at the gym,
and every single time it made my day.
She had stopped laughing now, just staring at me. This had been the first
time in a while that we had gotten to really see each other. Since that first
time in the shower really. This felt less rushed, like we could cherish this
moment.
My knee found the edge of my bed and I started to tease her just as she
had done to me earlier. Slowly, I slipped her stockings off, moving my
hands up to untie her top. I found the button keeping her playful skirt on
and popped it, ridding her of it, and then tearing off her top. She wasn't
wearing anything special underneath, a basic nude bra and white panties.
I smiled coyly at her, crawling over her body, so my face was directly in
front of hers, "Weren't expecting this tonight, were you?"
She breathed out a quick laugh, small hands feeling up my chest, the
smallest tint of pink littering her cheeks, "Didn't think I'd see you. Next
time I'll wear something nice, I promise."
I shook my head, lowering slightly so I could place a kiss in the hollow
between her breasts. My hand snuck up behind her to unclip her bra. "Not
what I meant. You can wear whatever you want, angel. I just like the fact
that I get to see you like this when you weren't expecting me." I don't even
know what I'm saying. I've never talked this much before sex, not
particularly into dirty talk, but something about Emma makes me chatty.
"I'm no angel..." She breathes out as my lips ghost over her supple chest.
"I beg to differ." I reply before wrapping my lips around her pebbled
nipple.
"Oh god..." She mutters, fingers threading through my hair. I suppress a
smile at her choice of words, loving the way her back is arching into me.
She's so responsive it drives me wild, and just when I think I might take it
slow with her, savor the way she tastes and feels, her leg hooks over my
hip, heel pushing into my ass, causing me to rest my painfully hard cock
straight into her folds. The feeling is unbelievable. Her soft, silky folds
inviting me in with what I can tell is a pool of arousal. I don't think I've ever
made a girl this hot and wet ever, and it's a real boost to my ego.
I tear away from her beautiful breasts, and make my way down her body.
I climb off the bed, fingers wrapping around the band of her underwear and
pulling it down her thick, muscular legs. I toss them behind me and kneel
on the floor. My hands grip her ankles and pull towards the edge of the bed,
a small squeal escaping her at the sudden movement. I chuckle at her,
hooking her knees over my shoulders. I can't help but smile, when I feel her
ankles twist around each other and pull me in closer to her.
I can see and smell how ready she is for me, my mouth salivating at the
fact that I will get to fully taste her for the first time, make her come with
my mouth instead of my cock. I groan loudly before I surge forward, not
wasting any time by lapping at her folds. She's so sweet. The sweetest I've
ever tasted. I can practically imagine all the fruit she eats to make her this
delicious.
I can hear her curses from above me, her hands once again finding their
favorite spot in my hair to twist and tug. I hungrily make my way up to her
clit, sucking it into my mouth for the first time. The little nub feels right at
home as I flick and massage it with my tongue. I can feel what I'm doing to
her as I furiously eat her out, her core pulsating around me, clit throbbing,
hips gyrating against my face. I let her create our rhythm, loving every
second of having my face planted between her thighs.
I've never felt this level of excitement, hunger, while going down on
someone. I've never felt so desperate for a woman to come from just my
tongue. I've never felt the need to bury myself deeper into a partner, make a
home for myself than I do between Emma's legs.
She's got the most perfect cunt, sweet and angelic just like her. And as
she rolls her hips against me, my tongue flicking her clit faster than ever, as
I hear her cries and my name spill from her lips I finally feel it. I feel the
fluttering of her walls inside her, the throbbing of her entire core, and the
jerky movements of her body.
I miss the look on her face when she comes, but the unencumbered
sounds she makes are enough for me to not let up. I know how sensitive she
must be after that orgasm, but, like always, I want to push her limits. From
the few times we've been together I know she gets off from a little bit of
pain; the choking and spanking being perfect examples.
My tongue doesn't let up as she comes down from her climax, my grip on
her becomes tighter, so she can't squirm away. I listen closely for a "no" or a
"stop", but gratefully I don't hear one. I just hear a breathless chant of my
name, one I'm sure will swirl around my head for far too long after this. I
feel the bed move violently and open my eyes to see Emma thrashing her
upper body against it. Her back arches and collapses, hand fisting and
hitting the mattress to expel some tension. Suddenly, she lifts off the bed,
her face scrunched up in an exciting mixture of pain and pleasure.
I revel the way her body loses control because of me. I've never made
anther woman feel like this, and no other woman has made me this
desperate. I can feel the pre-come dripping out of me, the urge to rut my
hips against something for some form of relief becoming almost too
tempting.
I need her to come.
I need her to come right now.
Desperately, I plunge two fingers into her and immediately curl them to
find her spot. I feel the spongy textured G-spot and start rubbing it hard at
the same time I suck her now swollen clit into my mouth harshly.
"Fuck!" Emma screams out, "Harry, oh god please!" She begs for me.
I nearly whimper at the sound of it. She's driving me crazy, and I know
the moment I get inside her I won't be able to hold back.
She gasps out, back arching as I feel her clench around my fingers
erratically. Her second orgasm washes over her, body thrashing and
twitching at the feeling. I feel her core drench my fingers, my chin already
wet from her earlier climax.
I don't even wait until she's done before I stand up, ankles still wrapped
up behind my neck, and replace my fingers with my aching cock. I thrust
into her quickly, her walls spasming around me. I almost come too early, the
feeling so overwhelming that I don't know if anything could ever compare.
I'm a little worried that once this is over, whatever this was between Emma
and I, that I would never find another person to make me feel this way. It's
already a billion times better than anyone I've ever been with, tighter than
even some of the guys I've taken from behind, more exciting than any fuck
I've ever had.
I watch her closely as her mouth hangs wide open at the feeling of me
filling her up. She's entirely speechless now, breathing heavily, whimpering
and whining as I thrust into her deeply and powerfully. I don't stop, even
when I am so close. There's no way I could come before she does. I need
this third orgasm. I need to feel her release around me and mix our arousals
for the second time tonight.
I'm being so rough with her body, fingers digging into her hips. I know
there will be bruises in the morning, but just like the love bites I like to
mark into her chest I love the thought of her seeing these in the mirror every
time she's naked, thinking of the pleasure I'm bringing her tonight.
Her hands, previously fisting at my sheets, move to grab my hands. The
strength behind her grip, the desperation I feel from her makes me go even
harder. I'm pounding into her at rate I didn't know was possible. He back
arches off the bed creating a new angle for herself. She is finally able to let
out a curse, "Fuck, ah, oh god, Harry! Don't stop! Please, don't stop!"
As if I could. Everything about her is swallowing me up. Her walls suck
my cock in at every thrust, her sweaty body glistens under the moonlight
from my open window, her hands shake on top of mine.
I know I can't last much longer, and she's making me work for this last
orgasm. I decide to push her even further, my right hand escaping her grasp
and thumb connecting to her swollen clit and rubbing.
"No!" She gasps out. I immediately pause my movements on her clit, my
thrusts slowing down slightly. I start to retreat my hand, but both of hers
grab onto my forearm. "No, don't stop. I'm good, I promise." She breathes
out, eyes open and hazy as she looks me in the eyes.
I resume my actions once I see the honesty in her eyes, pressing lightly
onto her clit and circling it. It takes only seconds for her to completely lose
it. I watch in wonder as her hips move roughly against mine, her nipples
hard and enticing as they stare up at me. Her head moves from side to side
as she edges painfully. Her whole body starts to jerk as I watch her orgasm
come to fruition. He mouth opens to scream, but after a second of nothing,
all that comes out is whimper of my name.
And just like that, my orgasm rips through me more forcefully than ever
before. My vision goes white and I collapse on top of her, my cock
emptying inside her throbbing pussy, short, jerky thrusts still assaulting her
as I work through my high. My face buries into her glistening neck as I
gasp out her name, "Emma!"
With the last of my come finally shooting out of me, I still, entombed
deep inside this angel. I breathe heavily as I rest on top of her, gathering
myself slowly after what was an earth shattering orgasm, one that I was
already wanting so much more of. Maybe Emma will grace me with
another. In the morning, though. I could already feel my eyelids closing, but
I knew I needed to clean her up, and get her comfortable. I couldn't fall
asleep resting inside of her, and crushing her body.
 Shakily, I lift up, surprised I'm even able to. I think we had been laying
together for at least ten minutes, but it was hard to tell. It could've been an
hour with the way my brain is all fuzzy right now. I look at Emma's face,
completely blissed out and on the verge of sleep. I don't blame her after
what we just did. I only had one amazing orgasm, she had three.
Slowly, I pull out of her, my eyes glancing down to where we were
connecting. My softened cock was red and sensitive as it left her warmth,
and I watched in awe as my come started to leak out of her. It might've been
one of my favorite things, both of us mixed together in such an intimate
way.
I shake my head, trying to get those thoughts out of my head. I walk over
to my chair and pick up a shirt to clean her with. She didn't move as I did all
of this, only hissing when I grazed her clit.
"Sorry, angel, have to clean you up. Want you to be comfortable." I
mumble out quietly, not wanting to break the spell that had descended on
us. I throw the shirt in my hamper and close her legs, my hands caressing
her thighs. "Do you want some clothes, or are you okay sleeping naked?"
She hums at this, stretching her arms above her head, making her breasts
look even more fantastic. "Clothes, please."
I hide my disappointment, which isn't hard because her eyes are closed. I
pick up her costume from the floor and place it on my dresser, after folding
it the best I can. I'm about to bring her her panties, but then I remember rule
number one.
I smile to myself and open up my top drawer, grabbing a pair of my
boxer-briefs, then my old school shirt. When I reach her, I gently lift her leg
so I can slip on my pair of underwear. It's harder than I expected, her body
made of jelly. She giggles as I try and lift her hips up and put them on one-
handed. Finally, she aides me and lifts her own hips, allowing me to fix her
up. I take her hand in mine and bend down to wrap my arm around her. Her
free hand grips my shoulder as I put her in a sitting position, and put my
shirt over her head. I straighten it out on her and look down.
She looks up at me with sleepy eyes, making me feel weird. I turn away
quickly and shake my head. I need to get my thoughts straightened out, and
my heart desperately needs to stop doing that stupid jumping thing it does
when she looks at me. I slip on some underwear, feeling like it would be
weird to sleep naked when she's clothed.
"Your bed's super comfy." I hear Emma say behind me.
 I can't help but turn my head to see her under the covers, my comforter
bunched up under her chin. She's laying on my side of the bed, but I can't
seem to want to move her. I walked around to the other side of the bed and
got in. The sheets felt cold, but I barely noticed as my skin felt hot due to
her being there.
I scoot a little closer to the middle, making sure I don't touch her. I don't
know if she would be okay with that, seeing as we are just "acquaintances".
I turn over to my side, facing her to see her asleep already. She looks so
peaceful, her breathing steady, face nuzzled into my pillow.
I hadn't planned on any of this. I hadn't planned to ask her if she wanted
to keep this going, to explore our limits together. After the sex we had in the
bathroom I just wanted her to come home with me, I wanted more time with
her, and somehow I got lucky enough for her to say yes, even after the
surprised look on her face when my question came tumbling out of my
mouth.
Then when she actually showed up I realized what I wanted: her in my
bed over and over exploring every bit of our bodies in every way possible. I
wanted and trusted her to push my boundaries and I desperately wanted her
to trust me with hers. So I brought her to my kitchen for tea instead of my
bedroom. She agreed so easily too, and went along with the playfulness I
craved.
Laying here next to her, soundlessly asleep, looking so innocent and
sweet, I felt a sense of ease. I wanted her here with me, and I couldn't wait
to wake up next to her.
I knew I was in trouble. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I knew it
the moment we walked out of that bathroom, her head held high only to see
every bit of her self esteem leave her the moment that assholes eyes found
hers. I could feel him sucking the energy right out of her, and I hated it. I
hated seeing her spark leave her, and I really hated how that made me feel. I
shouldn't have felt so protective over her.
But I did.
I wanted him to know that he didn't have her anymore.
Slowly, I fell asleep with the sound of deep breathing. Too quickly did I
wake up, dreams of angels filtering through my mind. I woke up in a daze,
unsure of what was going on, and who's body was against mine. I look over,
my eyes squinting.
Emma.
 My eyes adjusted to see her better. She must've taken her hair down at
some point, now messy and curly out of her buns. Her face was smashed
against the pillow, mouth slightly open, quietly breathing out. We had
moved closer together in our sleep. We aren't cuddling exactly, but we are
touching. Her leg had crossed over mine, my arm underneath her neck,
while her hand rests next to my face.
I take in how peaceful she looks, how all of the stress that's usually so
prevalent in her persona was gone. I wished she could always look like this.
She deserved to always look like this. I don't know her well - at all, really -
but I know she shouldn't have to feel so stressed all the time. I hoped I had
helped a little. That our time together had given her some solace.
I couldn't stop myself when I brought my hand up to brush the hair out of
her face. Her hair was thick and I relished the feeling of it in my fingers. I
got closer to her, jostling her a little as I snuck my arm further underneath
her. I decided to drape my other arm around her, bringing her in even closer.
I felt the puff of her breath on my face, making me smile. I close my eyes
and tried to fall back asleep when I hear her mumble out, "Staring at me
while I sleep? Is this where you finally kill me?"
I can't help but laugh. A wide smile appearing on my face as I open my
eyes. "You're too paranoid."
"I'm just realistic."
"I'd say you might be looking for trouble if you keep hanging out with a
guy you think is some secret serial killer."
"I'd say you're right."
I hum and scoot as close as possible to her, closing my eyes and
entangling our legs together. She nuzzles her face into my neck and wraps
her arm around my torso, fingers dancing along my spine. We settle into
each other, eyes closed, and tempting to be lulled back to sleep.
We're silent for a few minutes and I haven't ever felt this comfortable in
my life. I'm amazed at how normal this feels to be with a woman I don't
even know. I'm always the one to leave first, but here I am with Emma in
my own bed. I almost don't want to fall asleep. I would rather spend my
night just holding her.
"Is this rule number two?" Emma's voice breaks the silence, her lips
grazing my neck as she speaks.
"Hmm?"
"Cuddling?"
 I smile, "Yes, rule number two is cuddling, hugging, any affection is
allowed. Whatever we need, is that okay?"
"Mhm, you're warm so that's okay. As long as rule number three is every
time I stay over you have coffee ready for me in the morning." The way her
fingers feel so soft on my skin I almost have to hold back a moan.
"I think I can do that. How do you take it?" I ask.
"Just a little bit of cream and four spoonfuls of sugar."
I breathed out a laugh, "Of course. I should've expected."
"Shh, it's bedtime. Sleep, Harry, we can talk in the morning. Figure out
all the rules." She says sleepily.
"Okay, okay," I chuckle, "I get it. Goodnight, Angel."
And I feel the slightest upturn of her lips against my neck before I finally
fall back asleep.
Chapter Nine

EMMA
I woke up completely encompassed by a warm body. There wasn't a
moment I didn't remember last night, my core still sore and aching from the
pleasure he gave me. The covers had dropped to our waists, yet with his
arms wrapped tightly around me and his chest against mine, I was almost
too hot. I really didn't want to move, though.
I had never felt more comfortable or safe than right now. I relived the
memories of last night, starting at the bar. The excitement of seeing Harry,
and then the immediate despair of having to serve Jake and my old friends.
The way Harry made me forget, the way he claimed me in front of Jake,
and then the deal.
Not a single inch of me regretted saying yes. This is something I really
needed. Legitimate sex with no strings. I wanted to explore all the things
and kinks I've never been able to, that Jake had scoffed and made me think I
was a freak for wanting to do.
And the best part was there was no way Harry and I would fall for each
other.
I would happily keep him at arms length. Acquaintances at best. He
didn't seem like my normal type anyways. Nice, sure, but closed off and
non-committal. Harry, on the other hand, seemed pretty determined to not
be in a relationship. Let's be real, if he were looking for one, it wouldn't be
me. He is completely out of my league. Not only is he one of the best
looking guys I've ever met, but he obviously has money too, is well-liked,
and has a good sense of humor. In my experience, men like that wouldn't
give me a second glance.
So this was safe.
Then my mind wanders to everything we did after the deal was made.
After our first rule was set. How rough he was with me, yet somehow
playful. I don't think I've ever laughed that much while I was naked with
another man before. I've never met someone so spontaneous that one
moment he would be fucking my mouth and the next throwing me over his
shoulder like a caveman, patting my ass, while buck naked.
Fuck, and then what he did once he laid me on his bed. I squirm just
thinking about the way he assaulted my clit, the look in his eye making me
feel like I was the only other person on earth with him.
I hear him groan above my head, reacting to the slight shift of my body.
His hold tightens on me, making me melt further into his embrace.
"Morning, angel."
I smile, "Morning."
I don't know where this nickname came from, but I can't help the way it
makes me feel warm.
"Ready for your coffee, or do you want some more time in bed?" He says
groggily. His morning voice is what dreams are made of, and I'm suddenly
so glad that he's not one of those guys that would be weird about a girl
staying over.
"Both." I mutter against his chest.
It rumbles against me as he laughs, "How about I go make coffee and
bring it back for you. You stay and keep the bed nice and warm for us."
His hand runs through my hair, and I finally back away from him to look
at his face. He looks down at me, kindness in his eyes. I nod my head at
him before he chuckles and gets out of bed. My eyes are glued to his body,
only a pair of underwear gracing his silhouette. I bite my lip and smirk at
him, as he turns around at the door to see me staring shamelessly at him.
"Be back in a minute." He smirks back at me.
I take the time alone to survey his room. It's very spacious, an on-suite
bathroom straight ahead next to the flat screen tv. I could just imagine
watching tv every Sunday morning in this bed. It had to have been a king
sized. I've never been in a bed this big, let alone this soft. It's like it was
made for me, the perfect amount of plush for my body. There was a giant
window to my right, opening up to his backyard, which I couldn't see in my
position. Two nightstands on either side and what also seemed like a closet
on Harry's side. Probably a walk-in closet. Who am I kidding? Definitely a
walk-in closet. There's no way this nice of a house doesn't have a walk-in
closet.
 I bet he also has a jacuzzi tub. At this point I've completely woken up,
and am practically itching to explore his house. I didn't get to see a lot of it
last night, but I'm betting it's all just as nice as his bedroom.
I flop back down on his bed, arms spread wide as I think of how fucking
lucky I got. I get to have amazing, rough, hopefully kinky sex with a
practical stranger over and over again with no strings. That stranger
happens to have the body of a god, lean, muscular, and edgy with all his
tattoos. And I get to have rough passionate sex in the house of my dreams.
"I'm seeing you love my bed."
I lift my head off of his perfect pillows and send him a coy smile. "It's
easily the best thing I've ever slept on, like, where did you find it? I would
waste my whole retirement savings on it in a heartbeat."
He laughs at this, "I'm glad you like it. You'll be spending a lot of time
here."
He sets down a tray on his nightstand, two coffee cups and two bowls of
fruit resting on it. I sit up immediately, excited for some food. I feel
completely empty after last nights activities.
He hands me my coffee, which I take a quick sip, moaning when it hits
my tongue. "Perfect." I tell him earnestly.
He smiles widely at me, a little relief in his face. He hands me a bowl of
fruit and a fork, and sits down next to me. We eat in silence for a while,
enjoying the company and peace we brought each other.
I don't know why this is so comfortable, but at this point I'm just going
with the flow.
I frown when I look down at my bowl and then over at his, "Hey, you
gave yourself all the kiwis."
He looks at me amused, "No, I didn't. We have the same amount, you just
ate them all first and now you're wishing you would've saved them til last
like me."
"You have no proof of that." I reach over quickly and pluck a slice of
kiwi out of his bowl.
His jaw drops, "You did not just do that!"
I breathe out a laugh as I try and chew the delicious fruit. I swallow
quickly, "I don't know what you're talking about."
He rolls his eyes playfully and says, "Fine." Scooting closer, he places
the bowl on the bed in-between us, and picks his coffee cup up again. "We'll
share, and next time I'll know to cut you up twice as much kiwi."
 I smile at him triumphantly, "That's all I need."
"You're really quite adorable, you know that?" He smirks at me.
My face goes red, and my eyes drop from his. "Shut up." I mumble out.
"Are you embarrassed?" He laughs.
I make a face, "What? No... I just, uh... Shouldn't we talk about these
rules?"
He sends me a look, "Way to change the subject, but okay: we've already
got the first two."
I nod, "One: if I'm here I'm either naked or in your clothes."
He smirks and looks down at my chest, covered by his - what I expect to
be - alma mater's shirt. "Two: Cuddling and affection his allowed."
"Obviously I'm assuming sleepovers are allowed?"
"Of course. We aren't doing that cliche shit, like no sleepovers, or
cuddling, or talking. If we're going to do this, explore what we like sexually
then we'll need to lean on each other at times." He answers me.
I tilt my head, "So, when you say explore...?"
"I think that's a discussion for a different day, angel. Let's set the rules
first."
"Okay, then three was to make me coffee in the morning, which thank
you by the way."
He nods as he sips his own, "Four: we're exclusive."
I stare at him for a moment, surprised that he was the one who suggested
it. "Of course. Especially, if we're doing this unprotected. Five: we don't tell
anyone."
He looks at me hesitantly and sighs, "I kind of already told my best
friend."
I raise my eyebrows at this before he hastily continues, "He asked me
about the ginormous hickey you gave me," I blush, "and it all kind of came
out. Not in graphic detail or anything, just the basics."
"I guess that's alright. How about this: rule number five is we each get
one person to tell. That way, if we need to, we can decompress with
someone else." I suggest.
He nods his head at this, "Oliver won't tell anyone anyways."
"Was Oliver there last night?" I ask.
"Yeah, he was sitting right next to me. Blonde hair... He ordered the
White Russian."
 "Ahhh, right that guy. Is he dating your sister? She was the light-haired
brunette that was dressed up like Wednesday Addams, right?"
He laughs at this, "No, they aren't dating, but they definitely are into each
other."
"Is it because he doesn't want to cross a line being she's your, I'm
guessing, younger sister?"
He looks at me with furrowed brows, "You're really good at reading
people, aren't you?"
I shrug casually, "Not really, they were just very starry-eyed over each
other, and I was paying more attention to your table, because you were
there."
"Oh really?" He smirks.
I roll my eyes, "Six...?"
"We don't ever lie to each other. We're going to need to trust in one
another if we're going into unexplored territory."
"Right." I nod, "And if one of us ever feels uncomfortable, sexual or
otherwise, we talk it out."
"Seven..." He hesitates before finishing, "if we need a stand-in boyfriend
or girlfriend we do it, no questions asked." I furrow my brows at this,
needing further explanation, "Like if I need a date to a work function, or
you need help with that guy."
My face goes red at this, "Harry, you don't need to worry about that-"
"I saw the way he was talking to you, Emma. It looked as though that
wasn't your first fight either." He says calmly, but I can see the anger inside
him.
I honestly don't know why he's getting so protective over me, but then I
remember the look on Jake's face when he confronted me last night. I might
actually need Harry's help with this one.
"You don't need to tell me what went down between you two, but I didn't
like the way he was talking to you, or looking at you, quite honestly." He
tells me.
I sigh, "Alright, I might take you up on that. He's pretty persistent and
incredibly annoying. And I can already tell you enrage him, so that'll be
fun."
Harry laughs, "I'd be happy to assist you in any way. I've got another one:
rule eight is that we can just hang out sometimes. It doesn't always have to
end up in sex. I actually think we could be good friends."
 I think about it for a moment. Honestly, I could use more friends. Right
now I really only have Millie, my mom, and Maggie. I guess I could count
a few of the girls at the bar, but I rarely see them anymore.
"Okay, I can handle that. You seem like you could be fun, I guess."
"I guess?" He asks me, "I'm a blast, angel, and you'll find out soon
enough."
I laugh at his indignation, "So, when are we going to talk about what
we're going to try?"
He thinks for a moment, "Well, we should probably do some research,
find things we're interested in, write them down, and then go over our lists
together. Are you free Thursday night? We can come here after the gym.
Mike won't be around that day, because him and Naomi are going to a
fertility specialist."
"Mike's trying to have a baby? That's so sweet!" I say excitedly. The man
was always nice to her at the gym, never getting in her way or continuing a
conversation too long.
"How do you and Mike know each other so well?" Harry asks confused.
I smile, "Well, about two months ago he took a yoga class I was in, and
he was so bad I was holding in a laugh the entire time. I kept trying to help
him, but he was determined to do it on his own. We almost got scolded by
the trainer like we were kids whispering in the back of the classroom. He's
one of the only guys I can actually stand to talk to at the gym."
"I can practically picture him trying to do the downward dog." He laughs,
"He's probably one of the only guys you enjoy talking to, because he
doesn't drool after you like the rest of the meatheads there."
"That's very true." I say, taking a large sip of my coffee. "Don't know
why they can't mind their own business. I'm not going to the gym to get hit
on."
"Can't really blame them. You're incredibly enticing, angel." Harry says
nonchalantly.
"You never hit on me." I mention.
"That's because it was clear as day you didn't want to be. I could tell you
were there to just expel some stress."
I look at him for a moment, "And you say I can read people well."
He sends me a lopsided smile, "We'll need a safe word too, so start
thinking of something you won't forget."
 "Oh, I've already got a suggestion." I tell him confidently. He gives me a
look, so I stab my fork into the last slice of fruit, and hold it up to him.
"Kiwi."
He smirks, and leans forward to bite off half the juicy, green fruit. I
watch as his lips wrap around it before his teeth bite in. I bring the rest of it
to my mouth and slip it in, chewing gratefully.
"Kiwi. I like it."
I giggle, and look down, his heated gaze making me nervous. My eyes
widen when his hand cups underneath my ear, thumb gently grazing my
cheek. He tilts my head up and I meet his striking green eyes. I can see
every bit of want in his eyes. I've never been looked at like that, and I felt
my heart jump. Before I could process the jolt in my heart and stomach
flutters, his lips found mine. The kiss wasn't slow or sweet, like you would
expect a morning kiss. It was dirty and needy and I loved it.
Harry moved the bowl from between us to the end table and pulls me on
top of him. I immediately straddle his hips, and wrap my arms around his
neck. His hands sneak up the back of my shirt, feeling the bare skin. I push
even closer, now thinking of how he made me feel last night. I go to grind
my hips down, and the moment he moans in ecstasy I whimper and jolt up
in pain.
"What? What's wrong." He holds my hips steady, and away from him,
obviously nervous he hurt me in some way.
I drop my forehead to his shoulder and groan out in frustration, "I'm too
sore."
"What did you say, angel? You were mumbling."
I pick up my head and pout at him, "I said, I'm too sore. You can't touch
me right now or I'd probably pass out."
He smiles wide, a proud glint in his eyes, "I fucked you too good last
night."
I nod my head, "Six orgasms! Three at the bar, and three right here in this
bed. I'll probably need like three days to fully recover."
"Was that too much?" He asks, an eyebrow raised at me.
"No!" I answer him with force, "It was amazing, but I just need some
time, so if you plan on going at me like Hercules then it should really be
when I can't stay the night so I won't have to deny awesome morning sex."
He bursts out laughing at my mini-rant, his hands tucking my wild mane
of hair behind my ears. He leans in to kiss me, this time a short and sweet
one, and says, "Duly noted. We'll plan better next time, but I must say not
being able to have awesome morning sex with you is only acceptable when
I've fucked you too good the night previous."
I scoff and push his shoulder, making him laugh again. Soon I'm joining
in, and rolling off him to lay on his bed.
"You still a little tired?"
"Yes!" I say indignantly, "Some guy kept me up late last night and then
woke me up after I fell asleep to have a conversation with me while I was
half delirious!"
He smiles and bites his lip, not looking at me. Reaching over me, he
grabs the remote and turns his tv on. "You're welcome to take a nap. I've got
nowhere to be today."
I take him up on his offer, and snuggle back up in his covers. I turn my
body towards him and fidget around, suddenly not able to get comfortable.
He looks down at me and says, "What?"
I prop myself up on my elbow, "Can I lay my head on your lap?"
I don't know what made me ask, but I just wanted to touch him, be near
him in some way while I slept. I'm rewarded with a small smile, his eyes
softening as he looked down at me, "Of course. Rule number two, angel."
I smile and scoot over to him. Resting my head in his lap, I get
comfortable and close my eyes. I let out a sigh when his fingers start
combing and playing with my hair. It feels so god that I'm falling asleep
within minutes.
†††
The knock on my door gets my head out of the clouds. I rush over to
open the door and let Millie inside. It's our usual Sunday night dinner,
where I make way too much food, and pretend it's an accident to just wrap
it all up for Millie to take home.
"Hey, it's almost ready. I made a pork roast tonight." I tell her as I walk
back over to my small kitchen.
"That sounds delicious!" She tells me, securing a seat at the counter. Her
belly is looking bigger than ever, her due date only six weeks away now.
We catch up on each other's lives, not having seen one another too much
over the past two weeks. Usually, we have dinner every Sunday, but last
Sunday she picked up an extra shift to make a bit more money. Once we're
done eating, I clean up the plates and start packing up the leftovers for her.
 "Enough about me and the baby, though. What about you? Anything
new?" Millie asks me.
I turn to look at her, taking our tea and joining her on the couch. I take a
quick sip of my regular black tea and say as nonchalantly as possible,
"Well, kind of. You remember that guy I was telling you about at the gym?"
"The guy who keeps trying to teach you how to use the machines?" She
asks.
"Uh, no, that Harry guy-"
She gasps, "Did you sleep with him?!"
My eyes widen at her immediate response, "Um, yeah actually... How did
you guess?"
She rolls her eyes at me, "Oh, please, I saw that coming from a mile
away. Now tell me all the dirty details."
I laugh at her excitement, "Well, the first time-"
"You've slept together more than once!"
"If you would stop interrupting me I would tell you." I playfully scold
her, her glaring at me in response. "Okay, so I had a really tough week and I
got a call from Jake-"
"Ugh, why did you even answer that prick!"
"Really?" I ask her, eyebrows raised.
"Sorry, I'll keep my mouth shut." She mimes zipping her lips and waits
patiently for me to continue.
"Jake kept calling until I finally picked up. He was drunk and said some
shit, so I decided to work off some steam at the gym. It was super late so it
was just me, then Harry showed up, and there was this weird tension even
though we were all the way across the gym from each other. Eventually, I
just said "fuck it" and decided to follow him into the showers at the gym.
Honestly, I can't believe it even worked out. I just started stripping and
joined him, and, oh god, it was so hot. Like, shit, I've never felt like that
before."
"Wow, I'm so proud of you! That's huge for you. Did you have to seduce
him or was he all for it?" She asks excitedly.
"I mean, he seemed really turned on from the moment I started taking my
clothes off, and he was really cautious because he didn't have a condom-"
"You had sex without a condom?"
I looked over at her to see her face suddenly serious, "Relax, I get the
birth control shot. I'm fully covered. Anyways, I let him know I was clean
and then we just... did it. And then I left. I didn't say anything, and it wasn't
awkward at all. It was amazing. We'd acknowledge each other in passing,
but he was fine with just the one fuck. Then we ran into each other again,
late at night and he drove me to my car because it was absolutely pouring
and I just had shorts and a tank top on."
"Please tell me you had amazing car sex." She asks with her fingers
crossed and eyes closed.
I laugh, "We had amazing car sex."
"So what's so good about this Harry guy?"
"Oh! I forgot to tell you the best part. You know how I was complaining
about all the vanilla sex I had with my ex's?" She nods her head. "Well, in
the shower Harry... uh, he well, he choked me out."
Millie's eyes bugged out, "Holy shit! So you liked it?" She asked
curiously.
"A lot. I can't believe how much it turned me on. And then in the car he
spanked me! It's literally like he's reading my mind."
"Maybe he's your soulmate." She teased.
I roll my eyes, "Ha ha, there's no such thing."
"You're such a pessimist."
"No, I'm a realist. Anyways, last night-"
"Oh, hell yeah."
I laughed, "Just wait. You know how I picked up that shift last minute to
help Clarice out at the bar?" She nods expectantly, "Well, Harry was there
with his friends, and I served him and one thing led to another... We fucked
in the staff bathroom when my shift was over."
"I told you that's what you needed to do!" She yells into the air.
I laugh even harder, a giant grin on my face, "That's not all: he invited me
back to his place and I stayed the night. It was... I mean, holy shit, I'm going
to be sore for days, Millie."
Her jaw drops, "I'm so jealous."
"We also decided to keep it going, like a friends with benefits type of
thing." I tell her.
"Oh really?" She asks, her eyebrows raised. "You sure you can do that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you just tend to be the relationship type, you know. Have you ever
just done casual sex, or even a one-night-stand?"
 I frown, "No, but this will be perfect. I found someone who's willing to
explore that part of sex with me, and I trust him, and he's so fucking good-
looking."
"That's exactly what I'm talking about, Emma. I just don't want you to
fall for him and get hurt. Especially after the whole Jake thing." She says
softly, annoying me.
I sigh, "This isn't going to turn out like Jake. Harry's kind and smart and
completely unattached. We both know my type is asshole, toxic,
manipulative, and possessive while not actually giving a fuck about me."
"And how could you possibly know you won't fall for him, huh? There's
obviously already some weird connection between you two." She presses.
"Or what if he falls for you and you break his heart? You're too kind for
that. You would feel so guilty afterwards."
I scoff, "Oh there's no chance of him falling for me."
Her eyebrows raise in a challenge, "And how do you know that?"
"I told you before: he's way out of my league. He's beautiful, nice, funny,
quick-witted. He's also rich it seems. He's got a brownstone downtown. Do
you know how expensive those are? I'm also not blonde or petite, and that's
obviously his type."
"He's sleeping with you, Emma. You're definitely his type." She gives me
a look. "Have you guys talked about this being casual? Did you make up
rules or something. All the books I read have stuff like no sleeping over, no
meeting friends and family, don't see each other more than once a week..."
"Oh, no, we aren't doing all that cliche stuff. We've got rules, but they
aren't like that."
"Okay, what are they?"
I hesitate before giving in and telling her, "One: If I'm at his place I either
have to be naked or in his clothes." She snorts at this, giving me an
impressed look. "Two: Cuddling and affection is okay. Three: If I stay over
he has to have coffee ready for me in her morning. Four: We're exclusive.
Five... Oh, right! Five: We each get one person we can tell, so you're mine
obviously-"
"Who's his?"
"He said he talked to me with his best friend... Oliver?" She nods her
head, but I notice the slight suspicion in her face. "Six: We don't lie to each
other and if we ever feel uncomfortable with our setup we talk it out. Seven:
If we ever need a stand-in boyfriend or girlfriend we do it, no questions
asked." I finish.
"Okay, we've got a lot to unload. These are not the type of rules I was
expecting. No lying, cuddling, talking things out... That seems very
relationship-y."
I sit up and place my tea down, "Millie, we're going to be trying a lot of
different things that will probably push our limits. We do need to have a
sense of familiarity and comfort with each other. This isn't like a regular
friends with benefits deal. We are trusting each other to take care of one
another in very vulnerable positions."
"I guess I understand that... But what's with the pretend boyfriend rule?"
She asks skeptically.
"Oh, that was Harry's. He said something about bringing me to work
parties as a stand-in." I shrug then hesitantly add, "And he might have
noticed that I have a weird thing going with Jake-"
"Wait, what?! How does he know that?"
I roll my eyes, "Jake and all his friends were at the bar last night, and
before Lauren got there he tried to talk to me, and Harry saw the whole
thing. Then when we left the bathroom and he invited me over, he did it in
front of Jake and kissed me. It was weird, but I kind of loved seeing Jake
pissed off so much." I snicker.
"Oh, wow. I can't believe Jake was there. Was it weird with everyone at
the table?" She asks.
I groan, "It sucked. The girls were all fake and like "we need to hang out
soon!" like they didn't completely ghost me, and the guys completely
ignored me or, Tanner actually checked me out. I swear he was going to try
and make a move on me, but then they all saw Harry kiss me. I actually got
a text from Pam asking me if he's my boyfriend."
Millie snorts, "What did you say?"
"Here, I'll show you." I get out my phone, clicking on my messages.
Too slowly did I realize my mistake when Millie plucked my phone out
oof my hand and practically yelled, "What the hell is this?"
I had completely forgotten Jake's texts from last night. I was too
immersed with thoughts of Harry.
"It's nothing. Just Jake's normal, incoherent, drunk rants. I didn't even see
them until I got home. My phone was in my purse all night long." I brush
off quickly, trying to make it seem like not a big deal.
 "Emma, these are... Shit, these are really bad. I mean, he's practically
threatening you." She says worriedly.
"It's all empty threats. He wouldn't do anything."
She's silent for a moment as she scrolls back further, "These go back
months... Emma, isn't this harassment? He corners you all the time in
person, too, right?"
"Millie, you're taking this way too seriously. He's just an ass who doesn't
like it when someone moves on from him. He wants to have his cake and
eat it too. Harry saw it all and suggested the fake boyfriend thing to help me
get him off my back."
"Do you think you'll have him do that?"
I shrug, "I don't know. We just made up the rules this morning. I've got
more pressing things, like making my list of things to try."
"I honestly can't believe you're doing this. Also, there's literally no way
you two won't fall for each other." She sneaks in.
"Oh my god! Not going to happen. I'm not that cliche." I tell her,
gathering up our last bit of tea and heading back to my kitchen.
"Please, this is like cliche-central. With a kinky twist."
Chapter Ten

HARRY
"Are we still on for tonight?"
My glove hits the bag one last time before I turn my attention to the girl
talking to me. Her brown hair was gathered in a high ponytail, her skin-tight
black and white leggings hugging her perfect body while a crop top hung
off her chest loosely, accentuating her perky breasts. As always her eyes
shot through me, a striking blue that stopped me cold in my tracks.
Emma and I hadn't spoken after she left my house Sunday afternoon. I
fought the urge to text and call her the past four days. In fact the only thing
that seemed to keep me sane was the gym, but not for the normal reasons.
Emma and her eyes were constantly on me there. I felt her gaze as I lifted
weights, worked on my cardio, and boxed with Mike. It took everything in
me not to walk over to her and drag her out of the gym, bring her back to
my place, and fuck her until we passed out.
Her voice sent shivers down my spine, the memories of her moaning my
name prevalent in my mind. I was glad she came over to me. I was nervous
that she had changed her mind, but here she was.
"Yeah, if that's good with you. Are you nearly done?" I ask her
nonchalantly.
There weren't a lot of the regulars around, which I was glad for. I didn't
need anyone to see us together and give me grief. I already got teased
enough for how easily I went through girls, even though I had also had my
way with a few of the guys who teased me so much, and I didn't need
anyone to know that I had bagged one of the toughest most beautiful
women here.
She shrugged, "Whenever you are. I can find something to do while you
finish up. I know you usually like to spend more time over here."
My heart surged as I realized she had kept a close enough eye to know
my training habits. I kept my face neutral, and went against my natural
instinct to tease her. I didn't need to give her any reason to back out. It was
obvious she hadn't even realized what she said as her face wasn't red, and
she was still looking me in the eye.
I cherished those moments she would get suddenly embarrassed or shy.
They usually came after a compliment or a genuinely sincere statement, and
I wondered why she was like that. She was a beautiful woman, absolutely
stunning, so I assumed she had grown up hearing these types of words, but
she brushed them off so quickly it made me think she didn't know how to
properly accept a compliment.
"Have you ever done it?" I asked before thinking.
Her brows furrowed, "Done what?"
I nodded towards the bag, "Boxed."
Her eyes went wide making me smile, "Oh, no, I've never done anything
like that."
"Do you want to try?" I don't even know where this was coming from. I
just didn't want to spend anymore time away from her after the past few
days.
"I really don't think I should..." She says hesitantly.
I shook my head, and walked over to the equipment rack where I pulled a
set of smaller sized boxing gloves. I walked over to where she was leaning
against the edge of the ring, and took her hand. "Nonsense. You'll do great. I
heard I'm an excellent teacher."
"Really? Cause I heard you've got a wandering hand." She quips back.
I laugh as I tug on the glove, fastening it around her wrist. "Only when
the student asks, love."
"I have no clue where to even start." She says once I've got both her
hands safely encased in the older set of gloves. She stares at the bag in front
of her as if it were a foreign object.
I stifled a laugh and moved to stand behind her. My hands found her hips
like they were magnetic. I moved her body in the correct stance, ignoring
her laugh.
"This is so cliche, I can't even handle it right now." She says as I stand in
front of her.
A smile graces my lips, "Shut up. Okay, so this is your holding stance.
Zero in on the bag, eyes on the place you want to hit."
I continue to teach her the basics of how to punch properly, so she won't
tweak her wrist. She listened to me closely, eyes following my movements
and where my hands would take hold of her. I had her take a few slow
practice punches without hitting the solid bag.
"Okay, I think you're ready. I'll hold the bag for you." I say as I steady
myself behind it. I knew she wouldn't really make it go anywhere, but I
liked looking at her face. It was so focused, determination in her eyes. I was
glad she took this serious, and didn't make a joke of it. Boxing was
practically my religion, one of the only things that truly calmed me down
and was there for me when I needed it.
She stared at it for a few seconds, her eyes flickering to mine nervously,
"Just go anytime?" She asks.
I smile, "Yeah, whenever you feel comfortable."
She took another moment to herself before her fist flew forward and
made contact with the bag. She dropped her stance and looked at me
expectantly.
"That was good." I say earnestly. She gives me a look as if not believing
me. I chuckle, "No, really. You kept your stance and twisted your arm
correctly. You're a little afraid to hit hard..."
"No, I'm not." She defended herself.
"Emma, I've seen your biceps. You can hit harder than that." I tell her.
She looks as though she wants to respond, but closes her mouth and waits
for me to continue. "Don't be afraid. Hit as hard as you want, just make sure
you don't strain yourself. It'll help with stress and it helps with my anxiety,
too. Do you want to go again?" I knew her answer before she nodded her
head and got back in her stance.
"Is this right?" She asks, her blue eyes looking at me expectantly.
My eyes float down her body to inspect. I don't even linger on her
backside or bust, instead stopping at her feet. "Spread your legs a little
more." I tell her.
I look back up, happy with the way she found her position so fast, to see
her biting her lip and suppressing a laugh. I furrow my brows in
amusement. She smirks, "You can at least wait until we get back to yours,
Harry."
It takes me a second to connect the dots before I realize what I just said.
A loud laugh escapes my mouth and I feel my face heat up, "Get your mind
out of the gutter, Emma. C'mon, back into position."
This time she hits hard enough for me to feel the bag against my body.
"That was perfect, Emma!" I tell her excitedly.
 "Yeah?" She asks uncertainly.
"Honest to God." I swear, "Now keep hitting, back and forth, both hands,
but at your pace. If you need to take a second to get back in stance then do
it."
She nods her head and gets in position, this time perfect. I smile at this.
She's a fast learner, attentive, and likes affirmation. Good to know.
I'm impressed by her efforts. She definitely steps out a bit too much and
is a bit clumsy with her left hand strike, but overall she doesn't let it slow
her down. I watch her closely, especially when her eyes are set on her
target. She starts to get a slight sheen to her face as she works up a sweat,
and I can see the tension she's still holding in her body.
It's as if she has layers upon layers of stress, and what I'm seeing now is
the hidden layers unraveling. I want to make her forget. Forget the reasons
behind her frustration and obvious sadness. I want to be the one to do that
for her.
About thirty minutes later I stop her. "Alright, I think that's good."
"What? We just got started." She says, brows furrowed.
"It's been forty minutes, angel. They're closing down soon." I blush
immediately, not meaning to call her by her pet name in public.
"Oh," She said, breathing a bit hard, "didn't even notice. Okay, I'll take a
quick shower and meet you at yours?"
I nod, "Sounds good. Let me know when you're leaving here?"
She looks at me for a second, eyes narrowing in the slightest movement.
"Okay, will do."
I nod again and wave at her before picking up my bag. I walk out of the
gym quickly, shaking my head. I didn't know why I asked that. It felt like a
very boyfriend thing to do, but I didn't like the thought of her leaving here
at night by herself.
Fuck, I'm so screwed.
Royally, royally, screwed.
Maybe this was okay though. People did this friends with benefits thing
all the time. And they usually fell for each other. Wasn't that the stigma? It
happened in all the books and movies. When you're that physically open
with someone, especially with someone you enjoy talking to, feelings
happen. It was normal.
It had been so long since I had even been interested in someone. This felt
so new and a bit exciting. Not even in the sense of how compatible we were
sexually. I enjoyed being around her. I wanted to know things about her.
But it was clear she didn't want that. She wanted someone to fuck with no
strings. So that was what I would be.
For now.
I took a quick shower, making sure I was groomed for her. When I
stepped out, she had already text me that she was on her way. I knew I
didn't have a lot of time, and I was grateful I decided to clean my house up
last night, knowing I wouldn't have time today. The sheets on my bed were
clean in preparation, and I had lit a few candles around the house.
I set us up on the couch, my laptop out, and some tea heated up. I
would've brought out the expensive wine for us, but it was a Thursday, and
I wasn't sure if she had work tomorrow. I had to be at work at eight the next
morning, but I knew I had plans on Friday night, and couldn't wait until
Saturday to see her again. Even four days was too long.
The doorbell rang too quickly. I hadn't had time to calm my nerves. I
rushed over anyways, not wanting her to stand out in the cold for too long.
"Hey." I smile as she steps in.
I take her coat from her and see her tote in her hands, and a bigger bag on
her shoulders. My smile widens, but I turn away quickly, so she doesn't
notice.
"Here, I can take that." I grab hold of her bag, "Holy shit, this is heavy.
You planning on moving in?"
She rolls her eyes, but follows me as I lead her into my living room,
"Well, I figured I wouldn't be going home tonight, so I need clothes for
tomorrow, makeup remover, my makeup, of course. The basics. I've got all
my gym stuff in my car. Oh, I also have your clothes from last time."
"Keep them. I'll be right back, make yourself at home." I tell her, before
disappearing up my stairs to drop her bag in my room. I take my clothes out
and sniff them to make sure they're clean. Of course she washed them. I'm
tempted to take them back, because they smell so much of her, but we had
rules.
Once I head back down, I notice she really has made herself at home.
She's sitting cross legged, sipping on tea with a blanket over her lap. She
also has a laptop set up in front of her next to mine on the coffee table. Her
tote bag was resting besides my couch.
"Here, rule number one." I toss her my clothes. She jumped a bit at the
abrupt sound, but laughed when she saw what had been thrown at her.
 I didn't expect her to stand right up, set the tea down, and start stripping
her clothes off. I stood there, silent and watching her as she pulled my old
school t-shirt on, followed by a pair of sweats. She had to roll up the waist
band so it didn't fall off her.
I had to look away quickly before I was confessing my feelings for her.
That would definitely ruin the mood.
"Okay, so how are we going to do this?" She asks me, rubbing her hands
together.
I chuckle at her excitement and sit on the couch next to her. I keep a
small amount of distance between us, knowing if any part of my body was
touching hers we would never get through this without fucking each other.
"Why don't we start with anything that we absolutely will not do."
She nods, "I will not be whipped or hit with any paddles or some shit like
that."
"Understood. Kind of glad you don't want to try that, because I'm don't
think I could do that anyways. No threesomes."
She looked surprised by my answer, "Oh, okay. Not gonna lie: thought
you would be into that."
"I don't like sharing." I sad simply. No way was another man or woman
going to touch her while she was mine.
"Don't stuff my panties in my mouth or gag me."
"What about blindfolds?"
"I wouldn't mind that. I just want to be able to say the safe word if I need
to. I don't want to also try and remember some kind of sign in the moment."
"I enjoy hearing you too much for that, anyways. No collars."
She raises her eyebrows at that, "Yeah, I don't like that either. Has
someone asked you to do that?"
I groan just thinking of the memory, "Yeah, I went home with someone
from the bar a year for so ago and he brought it out expecting me to put it
on like I'm his pet."
"I'm not one to judge considering my long list of kinks, but there's
something about the inclination of being owned that does not sit well with
me." She tells me.
I smile, "We seem to match up pretty well. Is there anything else?"
She thinks for a moment, "I don't think so."
"Alright, why don't we get to some of the good stuff. Do you want to
start or me?" I ask her.
 She sits up straighter, setting her tea down, and picking up her laptop. I
do the same thing, bringing up my list.
"You start. We'll go one by one?"
"Are you nervous?" I ask her. She seems to have some sort of energy
about her that I can't put my finger on.
She smiles at me and takes a deep breath, "Maybe a little, but I'm also
excited, and a little aroused..." Fuck, she's going to be the death of me.
"And I'm just- uh, I'm happy, I guess."
I can't look away from her face. It's filled with all those emotions and
feelings, and it's so mesmerizing. She can feel so much, and it all shows on
her face. It's like when she first started at the gym, how miserable and
stressed she always looked. I never understood why guys would bug her by
trying to hit on her when she so obviously didn't want to be bothered. She
kept her emotions on her sleeves and it was so compelling. The exact
opposite of me. The one thing Lulu would always say to me was how I hid
my sadness so well, and how much it scared her. She said she could see me
every day for a month and never know how much pain I'm in.
"I'm happy too." I tell her honestly.
I can see how uncomfortable she is, making a joke instead, "That's
because you get to have sex with me."
I chuckle, "You're very right. Sex with you makes me very happy." My
teases turn her cheeks pink, and I can't help but smile fondly at her. She is
making it really damn hard to keep this purely casual. "Ready to start." She
nods. "Okay, well we kind of already did it last night, but clit stimulation,
repeatedly. I want to see how much you can handle, maybe even dabble in
post-orgasm torture, which sounds bad, but it's where-"
"Where you would play with my clit after an intense orgasm." She
answers me.
"I think we read the same articles, angel." She laughs at this, "You could
do the same you know. I've always wanted to try a cock ring, and you could
make me come and then suck on my tip. I'm kind of curious about how it
would feel."
I could see it in her eyes, her picturing me in that position, "Yes, that's on
the list."
I go to check it off and start a new column of sex toys to purchase.
"I'd like to try doing the hot and cold thing. Use ice and wax to stimulate
our bodies while blindfolded."
 "That's also a yes for me." I tell her quickly, marking my list once again.
"Handcuffs or ties."
"Yes, but only if you wear them too." She counters.
I practically scoff, "Angel, I'm sure I'll be tied to our bed more than you."
"Anal."
I look up at her from my computer, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah," she nodded, "it was the one thing Ja- my ex wanted to try, so I'm
somewhat familiar with it."
Something turned in my stomach, and I recognized it as jealousy, a
feeling I hadn't felt since college. I didn't need to hear about her with some
other guy.
"Okay, so butt plugs and dildos are good then, too, for anal play?"
Her eyes lit up, "Yes, definitely. I never got to use any of that."
My brows furrowed at that, "Wait, what? Didn't you ease into anal? Or
did he just use his fingers." There's no way that would've been good enough
for Emma. I could see how tense she was from all the way across the gym.
There was no way possible that she would be able to do that without the
proper build up.
She shook her head, breaking eye contact, pretending to look at her list,
"No, we just did it one night."
"Didn't that hurt?" I ask her. I've both given and received enough anal to
know how it could feel if you weren't properly opened up or lubricated, and
it was always a little intense the first time.
"I mean, no more than losing my virginity..."
"Emma, I don't know who you dated before, but he was not taking care of
you. I won't be like that. We'll say yes to anal, but I'm taking my time to get
you used to it." I tell her forcibly. I also lied a bit, my intuition telling me I
knew exactly who her ex was.
"What about you?" She asks.
"Hmm?"
"Would you like that? Like a strap-on, or dildo. Have you ever had a butt
plug before?" She continues.
I smirk, "I've used a butt plug on myself. I was curious about it when I
was younger. I should probably tell you now... I'm bi."
She rolled her eyes at me, "Harry, you already told me."
"What? No I didn't." I say confused.
 "You literally just told me about that guy who tried to get you to wear a
collar." She reminds me.
I think back for a second. Holy shit, I did say that. I didn't usually tell
people that I was bi. Either I would find out my friend was a homophobe, or
I would get the annoying question "Yeah, but which do you prefer?" Even
sometimes when I told someone I was sleeping with that I swung both ways
I got judged. There was one guy that was convinced I was still half in the
closet and tried to get me to admit I was purely gay.
"Is that a problem for you?"
She makes a face, "Of course not. If anything it excites me, because it
means you'll be more open to me pleasuring you in different ways. Once, in
college, I was with this guy for like a month or two, and I touched him there
during sex and he completely freaked out."
"Like how?"
"Well, he literally pushed me off the bed, but that was an accident. Then
he preceded to tell me he wasn't gay over and over again, and to never
touch him like that or else, which was an empty threat, because this guy
was a twig. I could snap him in two with my thighs." She says.
I laugh, but say, "Yeah, it still has a stigma around it for guys. Mostly, I
think it can make straight men feel emasculated."
"How does it feel? I read an article about how it can be incredibly intense
for guys."
"Oh, it's fucking amazing. It's one of the best orgasms I've ever had,
when done right." I smirk at her, "I can't wait to see what you do to me."
"If you say stuff like that we aren't going to get any further." She warns.
A mischievous smile crosses my face, "Angel, you have no idea how
many thoughts this has given me. I'm a bit of a masochist, so torturing
myself a little longer by not getting to stuff you full of my cock is right up
my alley. You're just going to have to wait. Wait until the anticipation is so
heavy that the moment we do finally get to touch, we are clawing at the bit
to feel each other."
"Fuck, I'm so wet." She mutters almost to herself.
I groan, "Stop trying to seduce me."
She laughs, "Please, like I could ever."
One eyebrow cocks as I look at her skeptically. "You're kidding right?"
One innocent look over at me and I realize she truly has no idea. "Emma,
you are one of the sexiest women I've ever met, and sometimes all you have
to do is look at me the way you are now and I'm hard."
"Are you hard now?" She asks, blinking her mesmerizing blue eyes at
me.
Silently I take her hand and guide it to my crotch. Due to the fact that I
knew she was coming over I hadn't worn any underwear, so when her
dainty hand met my crotch she was able to feel the full outline of my
pulsing erection. My sweats had tented a few inches and she was able to
squeeze around the full girth. I was surprised she hadn't noticed, yet.
"And you say I'm the one that's seducing you." She taunts as her hand
moves to the band of my sweats.
I grab her wrist and tuts, "Nu-uh. Not yet, angel. Let's finish this list. See
how wet you get and how much I can leak."
I can see exactly what my words do to her. I chuckle, "Knew this already,
but dirty talk is a go."
"I love how you talk to me when we're fucking."
I smile coyly, "Oh, yeah? You want more of it?" She nods quickly. She
will be the death of me.
"Can we watch porn together?" She asks out of nowhere.
"Yes." I answer, "I love that idea. What about role playing?"
At this she pauses, "Um, I've never done it, and I don't know if I'll be any
good at it."
I shake my head, "I haven't either, but I trust you. We can go slow if you
want to. That can go towards the bottom of our list."
She nods her head and breathes out in relief, "It's not like I don't want to
try it... I just don't want to embarrass myself."
My hand has a mind of its own as it combs through her hair, "If
something doesn't work for one or both of us then it's no big deal. Maybe
I'll be the one to embarrass myself. I'm probably a terrible actor anyways." I
joke.
We continue on going back and forth, until I circle us back to being tied
up. I ask her about preferences when it comes to what I would use, and she
asks me the same. I update my list of sex toys and tools, and find her
scooting close to rest her chin on my shoulder. I smile as we go through my
list and add things.
I'm glad to see how much Emma wants to play with different toys, and
it's all the way to the end when I realize we haven't talked about the most
important one.
"What kind of vibrator do you own?" I ask her.
Her chin leaves my shoulder, so I turn to look at her. She has a weird
look on her face as she answers, "I don't have one."
A surprised look crosses my face, "Really?"
Her eyes leave mine, and she starts to tap her finger on her knee
mindlessly. "Yeah, my uh, ex threw it away."
"What?! He just tossed it?" I ask her, not understanding the situation.
Maybe he was one of the guys that didn't like the thought of their girlfriend
getting off without them making me internally scoff.
"Yeah, he got mad at me after we broke up, and he still had my key, so he
took some stuff and..." She mumbled.
"Hold on." I say, trying to wrap my mind around what she just told me,
"Your ex broke into your house-"
"He had a key." She interrupted.
"He broke into your house," I start back again, not conceding to her, "and
stole your private property? Did you report him? How do you even know it
was him?"
She rolled her eyes and shifted further away from me. "Because he told
me. It's really not a big deal, Harry."
I pursed my lips, wanting desperately to continue this conversation, but I
could tell I was already pushing her too much. "Okay, I'll drop it."
I do make a mental note to buy her her own vibrator, wanting her to have
something other than her fingers when I wasn't there.
Fuck, now I was thinking of her masturbating.
I clear my throat, still rock hard in my sweats, but there was still a few
more things to talk about, and I felt like I needed to change the atmosphere
around us before we did that. "What's your favorite position?"
She finally looks at me again, a small smile playing on her lips. She
looks grateful that I dropped the topic, and went straight back into business.
"Well," her low, sultry voice teases me. I really don't even think she's trying
to. It's just in her nature. "I've only done missionary, cowgirl, and doggy
style, besides what we've done, of course."
I nod, turning my body towards her, "And what was your favorite?"
She thinks for a second, "Probably cowgirl. Easier to get off like that."
"And what was your favorite position with me?"
She bites her lip, "When you fucked me against the wall in the shower."
 My smile slowly develops, "You liked that?"
"Did you?" She asks, her eyebrows raised at me.
I breathe out a laugh, "I enjoy everything with you, but, yeah... that was
my favorite."
There was a moment of charged silence before she breaks, "I have a
whole list of positions I want to try with you."
Her choice of words struck me. "Show me."
I had leaned in to her, only inches away from her perfect mouth. Her
hand raised to hold my chin, keeping me from connecting our lips. She
teased her thumb against my bottom lip, nearly making me whimper, but I
held it back not wanting to come off as too pathetic. She smirked at me,
knowing how much that affected me.
Too soon was she backing away and grabbing her laptop. She scooted
closer to me and set it half on her lap and half on mine. My arm rested on
the back of the couch as she got comfortable again, any leftover tension
leaving our space.
I type in my wi-fi password, and watch as she goes to her bookmarks. I
spy a few different websites she must frequent: Netflix, of course, a few
cooking network sites, and some political news sites. I liked her choices,
noticing we followed the same sources, and was intrigued with the recipes
that were saved.
"Right, I literally just typed in kinky sex positions in google and this is
what I got." She says, going straight back to business.
I smirked and listened closely as she showed me what she would be
interested in trying, and a few she's curious about. It's all very hard to focus
as I picture us in place of the little illustrations on the screen.
"How flexible are you?" I ask her, eyes glued to the screen.
"Um... decently, I guess. I've been doing yoga since college, and I did,
like, three years of gymnastics." She answers me, lingering on a specific
position on the screen.
My heart stops as I see what got her to stop. It would give me the greatest
view of both her tight holes. I could test the water out with a rim job, get to
try something new, and make her scream my name. She hasn't done that yet.
I hadn't made her scream, and I wanted that so bad.
My eyes dart down to her hand as her finger slowly and sensually drags
the cursor down the screen. Her hands look so delicate and graceful as she
holds her pinky out. Her nails are clean and stripped of any polish, just
naturally healthy and white-tipped. I could picture them slowly and
teasingly wrapping around me and pumping, come dribbling down her fist.
I followed the line of her arm, now feeling her eyes burning into the side
of my face. I watched as goosebumps appeared in the wake of my gaze,
smiling to myself. When I reach her shoulder, I lean down to place a
sensual kiss on her flushed skin. I nuzzled my face into her neck, nose
nudging her jaw so she opens up to me. I place wet kisses up and down my
canvas as she whispers, "Remember... no marks."
I groan in frustration. I am so desperate to mark her, let everyone know
she is taken, but I can't and won't disrespect her.
"Only on your neck, right." I mumble against her.
"Mhm..." Then she squeaks out in surprise as I lick over to the hollow of
her neck, straddling her lap. She sets the computer aside. "Um," she
swallows, "just make sure that I can hide them easily."
"Of course, angel." I lift up her shirt - my shirt - and toss it on the floor.
"Wouldn't want anyone to know you're not as innocent as you look."
She pouts as she arches her back and let's me unclasp her bra. "I am
innocent..." Her eyes are big and blue as she looks up at me, breasts perky
and pebbling.
"Yes, you are, angel." I lustfully watch her as she cups them in her hands.
"God... look at you. You're filthily innocent."
"Just for you." She mutters when my mouth meets the supple skin of her
chest. I nibble and suck and mark up her glorious chest, making up for her
bare neck. She's so responsive, as always, hands groping and pinching her
nipples while I claim her. My lips wrap around her pinched fingers and
sensitive nub, flicking it with my tongue wildly.
I want her.
I want her so fucking bad.
I lift my head to finally meet her lips. She's ready for me, hands flying
into my hair. Hungrily, we devour each other, but my cock is getting restless
and I am desperate to know just how wet she is.
I break away from her and drag my bottom lip across her jaw, stopping at
her ear, "Need to fuck you right now. Want to see how you look in my
dream position."
"Yes." She breathes, "Anything you want, Harry."
"Love the sound of my name coming from you, but I've got another name
you could use, angel."
 "I'm not calling you daddy, Harry." She tells me.
I breathe out a laugh, and look her in the eyes with amusement, "We'll
see about that."
Chapter Eleven

HARRY
She was insatiable.
Everything about Emma was warm and igniting, and at this moment: wet.
Our kiss had turned incredibly sloppy, neither of us caring. My hand was
down her pants, rubbing her folds. I was amazed by her soaking wet pussy,
dazzled by the way her arousal felt as I gathered it up to lube up her clit. It
was almost too much, my finger slipping away from her throbbing nerve. I
don't even think I need to prep her with my fingers. I think my cock would
just slide right in.
She separates from me, making me whine, but her next words literally
make my dick twitch. "Which position?"
"Um," I start breathlessly, my mind reeling and trying to remember all
the little illustrations that were making my cock leak. "That- uh, where
you're turned around, bending off the couch-"
"Wheelbarrow?" She asks, grinding her hips down as my fingers still
plays with her clit.
I nod furiously, "Yes, yes, oh god, please."
She pushes her hands on my chest, standing up, a little wobbly, and pulls
my sweats off her body. I watch her, stunned that I'm this lucky.
"Harry, take your clothes off." She says seriously.
I shake my head and throw my clothes off as quickly as possible. My
sweats, which have a large wet spot on them where my cum leaked out of
my slit, dropped to the floor, cock springing up to my stomach in relief. I
don't even get to step out of them and kick them away before Emma's
turned around, knickers thrown across the room, and backs into me. I take
hold of her waist so she can get situated, but gasp out when she does this
quicker than expected, sinking onto me as deep as ever.
 "Fuck!" I curse out, "Angel, you have to warn me. Can't just surprise me
like that, or I'll cum right away."
"Sorry, sorry..." She says quickly, obviously feeling relief to have me
inside her, "Couldn't wait any longer, baby."
I groan and mutter, "You're gonna be the death of me." I gather myself,
taking a few deep breathes, "Okay, let's get you situated."
She nods her head, her dark hair shining in the light. Her knees shuffle
back a bit, and she leans forward. I didn't think of how difficult it would be
to get in this position, especially with the coffee table so close to her head. I
don't like that at all, practically picturing her getting a head injury when she
cums by smacking it with her head, so I take my foot and slowly push it
back and out of her way.
I tighten my hold on her, and say lowly, "I've got you."
She trusts me fully as she leans forward, hands finding the floor, and I
take hold of her calves, placing her shins on the back cushion of the couch.
Her feet pressed into my biceps, and I focused my gaze downward.
Holy shit.
I exhale heavily, every movement we make nearly sending me over the
edge, and revel in the sight before me. I think I'll dream of it every night.
Her full, round ass is right there, cheeks spread just enough so I can see
the puckered hole that I would also like to stuff full of my cock. It looks so
smooth, and I wonder if she gets it waxed and bleached, because it's almost
too perfect. The part that really makes me throb is her arousal had dripped
down to her asshole, making it shiny and enticing. I get to finally see how
wet I made her, her entire nether region soaked. I don't think I've ever had
that effect on another woman.
"Harry..." Emma whispers out, fidgeting her body, making me moan
before she lifts up on me and slides me back in slowly.
My mouth is wide open as I watch my cock disappear into her pussy over
and over again, length glistening with her cum. It's like a dream. My hands
palm her backside, groping it as she fucks me slowly. Even though she was
able to slip me in so easily, she's still so tight. Her walls sucked me back in
over and over, and once again I marvel at her strength as her arms keep her
up, and her abs and legs allow her to thrust herself on and off.
"Angel, it feels so good. You have no idea how mesmerizing my view is.
Both your holes are so ready for me... What do I do?" I say the last bit to
myself, almost in a daze. "How does it feel for you? Feel good?" I pray that
this is just as good for her as it is me.
My eyes finally leave the lewd sight in front of me when her forearm
comes up to rest on the coffee table, hand wrapping around the corner,
knuckles pure white. She grunts out, "Love it- oh god! You- you-" She can't
even finish her thought as she quickens her pace.
At this angle, I've got to be hitting her G-spot every time. I take her hips
in mine and start moving her faster. "That's right, angel... Wish you could
see how shiny my cock is with your juices all over it."
She whimpers, "Need more... Please, Harry."
I give in to her pleas easily, wanting more fiction, and wondering how
many times I could get her to come like this. I start thrusting my hips with
hers, taking a second to find a good rhythm. The slapping of our skin
echoing through my home, egging me on until I take complete control. I'm
slamming into her, and her hand doesn't know where to grasp and her feet
curl, pressing harder into me.
And without notice, she's coming. Pussy clenching around my thick
cock, gasps heard from her mouth, and as much as I am in love with this
position I miss watching her face orgasm. It's so beautiful, every worry and
stress and anxious thought leaving her all at once. I watch her shoulders
tense and relax when she starts to come down, but I don't stop.
Instead I go harder. I'm pushing her farther than she's ever gone, and I
watch in ecstasy as I see her tense up again, this time only due to pleasure.
Her hips are bucking and squirming, but I don't care. I need her to come
again and again. I feel like an animal, manhandling her body, but she's
mewling and gasping and letting strangled moans escape her mouth.
"Not gonna let you off easy tonight, Emma. Teasing me all night at the
gym and then here. You deserve this. You deserve for me to fuck you until
you're crying and begging me to stop." I tell her through heavy breathes.
She screams out, "Yes!"
I nearly falter, my one wish for tonight was to earn a scream from her. I
take it further needing more.
My thumb sneaks in-between her cheeks, my other pulling them apart,
and gathers up her wetness that had travelled to her bum. With my thumb
thoroughly lubed, I start to circle the puckered hole.
"Oh God, yes!" She screams again, "More, please, please, please."
 It's like she's completely given herself over to me, which only makes my
thrusts fiercer, and thumb more exploratory. I hook at her rim, teasing her
with the possibility of intrusion. She squirms and nods her head mindlessly
towards the floor.
Her walls are pulsating around me at a heavy pace, so strong and needy.
Her warmth sucks me in, and there is so much of her cum in her that we can
hear my cock slide in and out. The sweet sound is music to my ears as I
lazily rest my head back and close my eyes. I need to focus on not cuming,
but it's so hard.
Out of impulse and desperation, my thumb finds its way inside her
asshole surprisingly easy. I wiggle it around and pull out to push back in.
She's clenching onto both my dick and thumb, and now I'm certain I'll need
to stretch her out more before I get to fuck her in the ass.
She's mumbling and muttering and crying out as I continue my assault,
and just as her last one, her second orgasm came quickly and powerfully. I
can see her struggle to keep herself up, but her elbow keeps giving out, and
she's dipping lower to the floor, so I'm hitting her in a completely different
place. She cries out again, her orgasm elongating.
I can't believe I'm holding out this long, but everything's so hot and sexy
that I feel more blood rush to my dick than ever. My balls feel heavy and
achy, but I refuse to give in. I need one more. Just one more from her.
I know this position is too much now, so I hook my arms around her to
pull her up. I move her legs, so they're flat against the couch, and hold her
back to my chest, still inside her. She flops around like a rag doll, and I peer
at her face to see it flushed, slightly sweaty, eyes closed and breathing
heavy. I furrow my brows, slightly worried I overdid it.
"Emma, angel, I need you to open your eyes for a second. Need to hear
your voice. Tell me it's okay to continue." I whisper into her ear.
She doesn't respond right away, and I'm near tears, because I want to
come so bad, and inside her is the only place I want to do that, and I'm
starting to ache and throb painfully.
Relief floods me as she wiggles, causing friction, and mumbles,
"Harry..."
"Emma, are you okay?" I ignore my selfish thoughts and focus in on her.
I've never seen someone so out of it after sex.
She nods her head lazily, the back of her head lolling onto my shoulder as
she turns towards me. Her face is so close, and when she opens her eyes a
small, fucked-out, smile graces her face. "So good. More? You didn't come.
Want to make you come." She pouts.
And if my heart doesn't stop at her words, hands don't squeeze her tighter
to me, and my lips don't meet hers to tell her words that I can't, then I don't
know if this is actually reality. It doesn't feel like it. Harry a month ago
would've scoffed at the idea that this was happening. This was supposed to
be one time. A meaningless fuck. An incredible fuck, but meaningless.
That's not what this is anymore. I'm in too deep, figuratively and literally,
but I couldn't give less of a shit.
Emma is seated on me to the hilt, begging me to use her body until I
come, and that's exactly what I was going to do.
I lifted her up and down, easing into a fast pace, so I didn't give myself a
heart attack. She was still so responsive, and I realized that I might be able
to hold out for one more.
"Is my angel going to come for me a third time?" I taunt in her ear, and
smile devilishly when she nods and arches her back.
The movement causing a strangled moan and curse to fly out of my
mouth. I need to move this along or I'll never get that third orgasm.
Without thought, my hand comes up to wrap around her throat, squeezing
the sides to get her closer. She gasps and moans, and suddenly she's
slamming down on me like her life depended on it. I cry out and meet her
thrusts with my own, sloppy and messy, but perfect and mind-blowing.
Her hands move, one to my hair, the other to take hold of the hand on her
hip and brings it down to her clit. I curse into her ear, whispering her name
over and over as my hand tightens and the other circles, and my hips stutter
and slam into hers.
She's completely consuming and when she whispers, "Close" I tighten
everything even more.
"Let go, angel. I'm right here. I'll take of you."
"You'll take care of me." She mumbles and seconds later she screaming
my name, coming around my cock a third time.
I finally let myself go and it's like nothing I've ever felt before, white-hot,
mind-numbing, soul-crushing. I'm floating and sinking at the same time,
and I'm certain a tear has left my eye. I cum so much that I'm worried I
might never stop. I fill her and fill her, and she's still pulsing around me
even though she's slumped into me, barely conscious anymore.
 I hold her to me, emptying out an absurd amount of cum into her, and I
hope she can feel it. That in her blissed out mind, she knows just how
amazing she made me feel.
I don't know how long I stayed seated inside her, barely conscious
myself, but I knew eventually we had to clean up, and I needed to get my
angel to bed.
I bent over a bit to grab my shirt, the smallest, quietest whimper escaping
her as I moved inside her. Straightening out, I held her tight and slipped out
of her, bringing my shirt down to prevent any spillage. I didn't want my
couch to be ruined, cum being very hard to get out of this fabric. Her hand
was on my forearm, gently caressing it, eyes still closed, and head still
resting on my shoulder. I cleaned her up the best I could, but her skin was
sticky down there, and we were both sweaty.
I decided to draw a bath for us, give Emma some time to come back to
Earth. I set her down on the couch, making sure she was secure. I hurried
up the stairs, gripping the railing to steady myself. I round into my room
and to the bathroom. I held my hand under the water until it hit a good
temperature, and plugged the tub, dropping some bath salts into it. I hurry
back downstairs and find Emma exactly how I left her, a smile tugging at
her mouth.
I pick her up bridal style and she wraps her arms around my neck,
nuzzling into the crook there. It was good to know she wasn't completely
out of it. I was a little shocked that she was so affected by what we did, but
I was thinking that maybe this was something like a subspace.
I've read a little about it. Not much, honestly, because I didn't think it
would pertain to us. It wasn't like we were actually going full BDSM. We
were exploring each other, sure, but I really didn't think being in a subspace
was important to what we were doing.
As I set her carefully into the the warm water, I think of how it must feel
for her. I want to read more about it, ask her what it's like. I'm not even sure
if that's what's happening, but the longer she stays like this, and the more I
think of her actions during sex, I'm almost certain that's what this is.
The bath is perfect. It settles my muscles and my mind. I don't get too
comfortable, though, knowing that if I did I would probably fall asleep.
Taking a loofa, I soap it up and start to wash her body.
"Feels good." She mumbles.
I smile, "Yeah? Gotta clean you up. You're absolutely filthy."
 She giggles airily, and I know I've got her back. She widens her legs,
letting me slip in-between and clean up our mess. She flinches away at first,
backing further into me. I laugh, "It's okay, angel. Glad you're back."
She hums, "Don't know what happened. Never felt like that."
"Think you maybe went into your subspace..."
"Really?"
I nod my head as I wash up her stomach and to her breasts. "Yeah, I've
only read a little about it, because I thought it was only for BDSM stuff.
What was it like?"
She sighs deeply, "Like I was aware of everything. It was all heightened:
the way you felt, what you were saying... but it was almost like I was
watching it too. And everything just floated away. Everything that I had
been worrying about all week was just gone."
"Tough week, angel?" I coo into her ear.
She nods and pouts, "Was close to calling you every night. Needed a
distraction."
"Why didn't you call me?" I ask her.
"Didn't want to bug you, or be too needy. I figured I could wait four
days."
I frown, "Emma, look at me." I wait for her to turn around, her blue eyes
peering at me cautiously. "If you ever need me, for a distraction or
otherwise, you call me. I might not be able to get to you right away, but I'll
get there as soon as possible."
I think I had understated her need for a distraction. Maybe she hid her
stress better than I thought, and the stuff I saw was only a minuscule
amount of what she truly dealt with. She was like an iceberg. I wanted to
know what was causing this. If it was one thing, or several things that all
seem to be crashing down on her at the same time.
Maybe this is just years worth of worry and stress and anxiety finally
taking its toll on her.
"Harry, I don't want to inconvenience you. You'll probably just get
annoyed at how frequently I need a distraction." She half-heartedly jokes.
"You have no idea how badly I wanted you as a distraction all week. I
almost called you every night." I confess.
Her eyes widen, "Really? Why didn't you."
I smile, "I didn't want to annoy you."
She laughed, "Well, we are one pair, aren't we?"
 "Yeah, we are." I mutter. Clearing my throat I say, "Let's get out of here
and get some rest. I think we both need to work tomorrow morning and it's
past midnight."
She groans, "Oh, I really don't want to go in tomorrow. Can I just hide
out here."
Yes.
I smile and give her a look, "C'mon." I stand up and lend her a hand. We
dry each other off, and I'm surprised when she slinks into my covers, buck
naked. "You know how hard it's going to be not to touch you all night when
your naked under my covers?"
She snuggles in deeper, face squished against the pillow and eyes closed,
"Never said you couldn't touch me."
I snuggled in close to her, breathing in the scent of her hair, mixed with
the scent of my body wash. It was entrancing, and I knew I was getting in
even deeper, but, once again, I ignored that voice in my head telling me to
pull back.
"Playing with fire, angel." I mumble into her hair, and hold her as we
drift off to sleep.
†††
It was an early morning for the two of us.
It felt so natural to wake up with someone in my bed. When I realized it
was still early and neither of us had to be up for another hour, I let my
hands wander. She was half awake, and turning towards me lazily,
mumbling out a quiet, "Yes."
It was the best breakfast I had ever had.
And then she was in charge, lips teasing up and down my cock without
wrapping them around me. We were wide awake as I let her have her way
with me. After a glorious deep throat she crawled up my body and sinked
onto me.
With her tits bouncing in my face and her hands gripping the top of my
headboard, I enjoyed the view that I would be day-dreaming about all day
at work. I couldn't believe this was how I got to start my day, and when we
were finished, realizing our time had gone to shit, we both rushed into the
shower to wash off the morning sex.
I watched as she put on some light makeup, and tossed her hair into a
nice bun, not messy like her usual ones. I slipped into a button-up and
slacks, choosing one of my nicer outfits, half because I had an important
meeting and I wanted to see Emma's reaction.
It didn't disappoint.
Her eyes unabashedly checked me out as she got dressed, so I returned
the favor and let my hungry eyes gaze over her body. She didn't put on
anything fancy: a pair of black skinny jeans and a cami with a modest
cardigan over it. I smiled to myself as she appeared as innocent as ever.
I went downstairs to get some coffee as she finished packing her things.
Since we were running so late, I got our coffee to-go. When she came back
down, she placed her laptop in her tote, and folded up the clothes I told her
to keep and put everything by the door.
Coming back up the hall, I silently handed her one of my travel coffee
mugs, "Just the way you like it."
She smiles at me, "Thanks. I should get going."
I nod my head, "Me too. I'll head out with you."
Grabbing my work bag and coffee, I joined her at the door, taking her
overnight bag from her. We walked out to our cars in silence. I followed her
and waited for her to open her trunk. She had a nice car, nothing special, but
it fit her.
"Alright..." She coughed awkwardly, "I'll see you... around?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at her sudden uncertainty. She blushed and
looked down, but I took hold of her chin and lifted her gaze back up to
mine. "When are you free next? I can't do tonight."
"I don't have any plans until Sunday for dinner." She says.
"How about you come over tomorrow night? We can try something off
our list. Maybe with some restraints?" It was what I was most eager to try,
whether it was her or me tied up.
She nods her head quickly, "Uh... do you want to be tied up first or me?"
I shrug, "Whichever. We don't have to decide right now."
"Okay," she breathes out, "Well, goodbye, Harry."
I lean down and kiss her, "See you soon, angel."
†††
As I thought, this meeting was such a waste of my time. After getting to
work, saying hi to Mike, and spending the whole morning fixing other
people's mistake, I was then forced to sit through a pointless meeting. I
hated these. I hated having to impress people, especially these idiots.
 The only thing that got me through was the memories of last night and
this morning. I was tempted to text her, but if I did that then I would never
get any work done. I also had no clue what her job was, so she might not be
able to text anyways.
I sighed in relief when Mike entered my office and led me out to enjoy
happy hour at our favorite bar with everyone. It was a weekly tradition
lasting about two years now, ever since all of us had moved to the city. It
was coincidently the same bar that Emma used to work at, the one we went
to Halloween night.
When we entered I looked around, shrugging off my coat and hanging it
on a rack by the door. It was a smaller pub, so I didn't worry about it being
stolen. My eyes went to the bar top, but I didn't see her. I pursed my lips,
trying not to frown, and followed Mike to our normal spot.
Oliver was the only one there so far, distracted by his phone.
"Hey, mate." I greet him, sitting on his right while Mike slid into the
booth on the other side.
"Hey, guys. How was work?" He asked us.
"Not bad." Mike answered, flagging down our server and ordering a
round for us.
"Awful." I answered flatly.
Oliver and Mike looked over at me. It was Oliver who spoke, "Mate, you
hate that job. Why don't you try and find something else?"
"Yeah, seriously. You're miserable there, everyone can see." Mike added.
I give him a look, "I make good money, and I worked my ass off to be
there. I don't want to start off at square one again, and end up with the same
result."
"Yeah, as an accountant, but there are other things you can do with your
degree." Mike presses.
"Remember in college when you took that financial analysis class and
your teacher raved about you." Oliver brought up.
I think back, "Yeah..."
"Why not try something like that?"
"Oli, I haven't properly studied financial analysis, and it's been years
since that class-"
"But you do that with the job now." Mike interrupts, "When we do
quarterlies you go through everything and do a whole analysis. Anthony
told me that you even bring up ways to expand and help the business."
 I raise my eyebrows at this, "Oh, yeah, Anthony said that? You know,
he's not supposed to be talking about those meetings outside the
boardroom."
"Don't change the subject." Mike says, "He also said that it's the only
time you ever contribute to the meetings. That you usually sit in the corner
silently."
I hesitated before I answer, "It doesn't matter... I'm not looking for a new
job right now. I'm happy with where I'm at."
"Sure you are." Oliver rolls his eyes.
"I do have a question for you." Mike leans over the table to see me better.
"Okay?" I ask suspiciously, the glint in his eyes all too familiar.
"What had you so happy this morning?"
"I don't know what you mean." I answer quickly.
"Please, you walked into work with a huge grin on your face, looking
happier than I had seen you in... years probably." He pauses, "Plus you've
got that huge love bite near your ear."
My hand shoots up to where Emma had her lips latched onto my skin this
morning. My face warms and they both start laughing at my expense.
"Okay, so I hooked up with someone last night." I tell them annoyed.
"Are you going to see her again?" Mike asks.
"What is it with you being so interested in my love life?" I avoid the
question.
He shrugs, "I just want you to be happy, and it's been a long time since
you opened up to someone. Also, it's fun to watch you get all riled up."
I roll my eyes, and ignore Oliver's knowing eyes, "Good to know. It was
just a fuck last night." The words tasted bitter on my tongue, but ignored it.
He was about to say something when his phone rang. He looked at it,
muttering, "I've got to take this" and walks off.
When he was gone, Oliver speaks up, "Was it her?"
I didn't answer right away, instead taking a long sip of my beer that had
been dropped a few minutes ago. My silence gave him the answer I refused
to say.
"Looks like we have some stuff to talk about." He says with amusement
in his voice. "You free Saturday?"
I shake my head, "I've got plans." I ignore his smirk and raised eyebrows,
"What about Sunday night? We can watch the game over at yours?" I
suggest.
 "Sounds good. Should give you enough time to recover from this girl."
He teases.
I don't answer, shaking my head and biting my lip to stop the smile
threatening to appear. Our friends started to arrive one by one, and the night
became easier. Oliver and Luanne flirted like normal, Naomi still wasn't
pregnant, and Maura was as loud and cheerful as ever. When we were
headed out, I check my phone for the first time, and my heart nearly jumps
out of my chest when I see the text.
From Emma: Dibs on being tied up.
And then another.
From Emma: Just think... In less then 24 hours you'll be able to do
anything and everything to my body.
From Emma: Maybe we can beat our record and go for four?
I groan as I get in my car and start it, half hard in my pants, knowing I'll
be fucking my hand tonight at the thought of my angel tied up in my bed,
completely spread open for me. How fucking wet and ready she'll be for me
tomorrow.
I start to think of the best way to respond to her texts, thinking maybe if
I'm lucky she'll send me even naughtier texts to help me get off tonight.
Chapter Twelve

EMMA
I had a stupid smile on my face the whole way to work.
I hadn't expected last night to go down that way. I mean I knew we were
going to have sex after we spoke about everything, but shit. It was
incredible. I've never in my whole life been completely unencumbered. It
was like everything drifted away, and all that was left was Harry and his
hands and his mouth.
And fuck his cock was like a dream. Like it was made just for me and my
pleasure.
I didn't want to leave and go back to reality, but I had only one more day
until the weekend where I would get him back for half of it. And thank god
it was only a four day work week next week, Friday being grading day, and
I could do that anywhere.
I sip at my perfectly made coffee and make my way down to my
classroom. I was almost there when the person responsible for most of my
awful week stepped in front of me.
"You've been ignoring me." He says.
I roll my eyes, "Yes, I have. Your point?"
"As childish as ever." He sighs, "I apologized, Emma. What more do you
want?"
"I would like for you to stop harassing me all the-"
"I'm not harassing you!" He hisses at me, and I see a large amount of
anger hidden behind his dark brown eyes.
"I didn't mean it like that." I say quickly, flinching and looking down.
I can feel his eyes on me, "Come out with us tonight." He says flatly.
My head whips up, eyes wide, "What?" He has never invited me out with
his friends after we ended. Even when we were still sleeping together for
the few months after. It was always Lauren who extended the invitation
when I got stuck with them at work.
"Come out. The girls have all been talking about how they miss you." He
says, eyes scanning the halls around us instead of looking at me.
I cringe, "Uh, no thanks."
"What? Do you have plans for once?" He says nastily.
I hide my annoyance, "Yes, I do. Now, may I please continue on with my
day?"
"Is it with that guy?" He asks.
"That's none of your business." I snapped back.
He looks at me with his cold eyes, "You know, I didn't expect you to be
the type to fu-"
"Are you kidding right now, Jake?!" I ask bewildered, "We are in a
school with kids. Keep your voice down and jealousy in tact."
He surprised by the venom in my voice, silent as he stares at me. Then a
few minutes before I knew he needed to be in his classroom he says, "Like I
could be jealous of you. Remember, I could have you any time I want.
You're pathetic, Emma, so desperate for someone to give you attention you
turn to the first guy you meet and screw him basically in front of everyone.
You need some self-respect."
With that he storms off, leaving me pale faced and teary-eyed. I step into
my classroom, only a few kids in their seats, the rest out in the hallways. I
blink away the tears, mad at myself for even letting him get to me, but that's
how it always was. He knew exactly what to say to me to get under my
skin. That's what happens when you open yourself up to someone for two
years.
I organize my desk and get out my lesson plan, starting with an hour of
reading. We had started Dory Fantasmagory by Abby Hanlon, one of my
favorites growing up. The kids all seemed to really like it.
"Ms. Everly?"
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by little Amber McDonald, one of my
favorite students.
I smile at her, willing away my bad thoughts, "Good morning, Amber."
"Are you okay?" She asks in a shy voice.
I blink at her, "Of course I am. What makes you think I'm not?"
"You just look sad." She answers honestly. That's one thing I loved about
teaching little kids: they were always so unabashedly honest. They haven't
been taught to hide their thoughts or curiosity.
"No, I'm not sad." I tell her, "Just a bit tired."
"You didn't sleep well?"
My eyes widened a bit as my thoughts slipped into an inappropriate
memory. I clear my throat, "Nope, but that's okay. Why don't you head back
to your seat. We'll be starting in a few minutes."
She scrambles back to her desk, and I sigh out, wishing the day was over
and it was Saturday already.
†††
It was an awful day. I served as a lunch aide, making sure nothing went
haywire in the cafeteria filled with six to ten year olds. Jake had been
especially cold to me, and was able to show it clearly since Lauren wasn't
working with us this week. I had overheard she was at another elementary
school.
I was grateful when I got to leave, and headed straight for the gym. I
knew I wouldn't be seeing Harry. He was never at the gym on Fridays. I had
noticed that fact a long time ago.
It was fine. I was fine. I just needed a good run, and maybe a bottle of
wine.
By the time I got home, I was drenched in sweat, legs aching from both
my workout and from the sex I had had with Harry. While I loved the new
position, it was exhausting and a lot of work. It's something I'll only suggest
when I'm really needy, I think.
That was another thing. I couldn't believe what had happened. It was like
Harry flicked a switch inside me, allowing me to finally let go of all my
baggage. I had never felt so worry free in my life. I had never felt so out of
control, either. It was so easy to let him take control.
Last night I didn't even feel in control of my own words. I knew what I
was saying and I agreed with it all, but it was... just weird, I guess.
Once I took a shower and threw on some PJ's, I opened my laptop and
immediately started to search subspace. I read account after account, and
finally concluded I did go into something at least similar if not a subspace.
My study session was interrupted when my phone buzzed. Without
looking I answered it, getting lost further into the world of sex kinks on my
computer.
"Hello?" I say mindlessly.
 There was loud music and a little bit of static on the other end, and as I
was just about to look at my phone to see who obviously butt dialed me
when I got my answer.
"Emma?" Jake slurred, "Baby, come pick me up. Need you tonight, plea-
"
"Ugh!" I scoffed and hung up on him before he could get further.
I check the time: seven o'clock. It wasn't even late. What was Jake doing
getting plastered this early? He always liked his bourbon, but that was a
little much.
I felt a little guilty, hoping there was someone there who could drive him
home. As much as I hated the guy, I didn't want him to drive drunk and end
up wrapped around a pole.
Then the texts started to roll in.
From Jake: Diid you jus hung upon me ?
From Jake: Ur such a bitch
From Jake: I now u want mee
From Jake: Ur a;ways beggin fur my cock
From Jake: Ant sir me
From Jake: Ur pahetic. I left u cause ur worthless and cheep and
couldnt get me hard
From Jake: Fuck u . How ducking dare u ignore mee like this? I am
sooo much better then u in every ducking way baby n Im two good for
u
I know it shouldn't. I know he's wasted, and an asshole. I know I'm over
him.
So why does it hurt?
Why does it feel like my chest is caving in on me?
Like my head is spinning?
I want to forget. I need to forget. I want to rewind time to this time last
night when Harry was taking care of me, taking away my burdens and pain.
The pain I tried to hide so hard, and I knew I was shit at it. I knew
everyone around me could read it on my face. I had never been able to hide
my emotions well, my mother always told me. For a long time I thought it
was just her motherly ability to read me, but I realized that, no, I was just
awful at hiding my emotions and feelings and thoughts.
I opened my eyes that have been squeezed shut, trying desperately to see
my tears at bay. I looked blankly at the screen in front of me, vaguely taking
in the words. Somehow I am able to regain enough of my mind to pick up
my phone and text the one person who's been able to make it all go away.
To Harry: Dibs on being tied up.
I bite my lip. Yeah, that was what I needed. I needed him to take care of
me again. I hope he doesn't think I'm being too needy. Fuck. Maybe he
wanted to be tied up since he's been the dominant one the last three times
we've been together. I text him again, hoping to get him excited for
tomorrow night.
To Harry: Just think... In less
than 24 hours you'll be able to do anything and everything to my body.
I pause before I send a last text. Vowing that I will not quadruple text
him.
To Harry: Maybe we can beat your record and go for four?
I set my phone down and stare at it.
I finished off my glass of wine, and tried to distract myself with
something on Netflix. Needless to say, I spent the next forty minutes just
scouring the stupid site, not finding anything to watch.
I huff out a breath and rest my head on the back of the couch to stare at
my ceiling.
He hasn't text me back. He's probably going to cancel on me now that he
sees how desperate I am. I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I just triple text
him.
My phone buzzed in my lap and I groan. Fucking Jake. But like the sadist
I am, I check my phone.
My heart leaps in my chest when I see it.
From Harry: Angel... Are you trying to get me hard in public?
I smile and breathe out a laugh.
To Harry: Maybe...
From Harry: Well, are you going to do anything about my little
problem you caused me?
To Harry: If you ask nicely.
I could practically see his eyes darken. Imagining him straddling my lap
and ravaging my chest again, I groan. How two simple texts have loosened
me up so quickly, I will never know.
I'm surprised when my phone rings, pulling me out of my daydream. My
heart rate quickens when I see Harry's name flash on my screen. He's
calling. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I was not ready for this.
 I answer anyways, because I'm an idiot. "Harry?" I breathe out.
"Fuck, angel, you can't say my name like that." He says with pent up
emotions. I can hear the arousal in his voice, my confidence surging
suddenly.
"Like what?" I tease.
"Like you're about to cum." He grits out, "You know, this isn't even the
first time I've wrapped my hand around my cock in my car because of you?"
My eyes widen, "Really?"
I knew he was probably nodding, head resting against his headrest, eyes
shut tight. "Yeah, after you rode me I couldn't even make it back home
before I was hard and ready to burst again. Now I'm hard every time I drive
just thinking about it."
"Hmm... Sounds like you've got a bit of a problem, baby." I pout to no
one.
He grunts, "Thought you were going to help me out, angel?"
"You haven't asked nicely, yet."
"Emma, please, I can't do this without your pretty little voice urging me
on. Oh god! Please, please, please, I'm desperate and I need you." He
pleads with me.
My face is hot, but there's a large smile on my face. I straighten up and
cross my legs on the couch. I've never done this before and while there's a
little bit of nerves - mainly because I don't want to make a fool of myself -
it's mostly excitement. Harry had once again, without even really knowing,
taken my mind off of what had just happened.
"How does it feel?" I ask him, tilting my head.
He breathes out in relief, "So, so good."
"No, I mean how does it feel in your hand?" I counter, "Does it feel
heavy and wet? When I'm lucky enough to be holding you I revel in how
thick and heavy you are... and when you start leaking... shit, it's like
heaven."
"Yeah?" He asks me weakly.
"Mhm, have you ever tasted yourself, Harry?" I ask him.
"Yes, just a couple times... Was curious. Then when I ate you out after I
came inside you" He answers honestly.
I smile to myself suddenly remembering, "Makes my mouth water just
thinking of tasting you. Would suck you off for hours just to get a drop of
you."
 "Oh god!"
"Don't you dare come just yet." I demand.
"Please," he whispers, "I'm so close..."
"Answer me one question first." I decide to go easy on him.
"Anything." He breathes out.
"Did you like how you tasted?" I couldn't hide the fact that I loved the
idea of him thumbing at his leaking tip and sucking on it to taste his salty,
heady come.
There was a moment of pained silence before, "Uh... I- I um..."
I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or if he was too wrapped up in
fucking his own hand. I coo at him, "It's okay, baby. You can tell me. I'll let
you in on a little secret... I've tasted myself too. After I touched myself and
came around my fingers I licked up my juices, and I loved it."
"Emma! Fuck, yes I- I liked it. Thought I tasted good." He shouts out, and
I sure hope none of his neighbors are out walking their dog to hear him
scream out in pleasure.
"You do, baby." I say and bite my lip when he whispers my name in a
plea. "Let go, Harry."
I can hear the relief in his breathing, the moan leaving his lips as he
must've came. I wonder how long he was edging for. He sounded pretty
pent up from the moment he called me. I listened silently to his breathing,
wishing I could be there. I would love to watch him touch himself, and
hopefully he would let me lick the come off his hand.
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He says breathlessly. "Fuck, I
needed that. I needed that so bad. Thank you." He repeats.
A wide smile crossed my face, "You're welcome. Was I good?"
He laughs, "Are you kidding? You were perfect. Just perfect. That was so
hot."
I was absolutely beaming now, "I really liked that."
"Do you need some help? I could tell you didn't cum." He asks as I hear a
door shut on his end.
"No, it's okay, Harry. Don't need that right now. Resting up for tomorrow.
Besides... just hearing you so desperate for me was enough."
"Oh, really? You like to listen to me nut off? Bet you'd like to watch too."
He says coyly.
"Yes." I answer quickly, "Add that to the list right now. Want to touch
myself while you watch too."
 There was silence on the other end as I pictured what that would be like.
I hear him exhale deeply and say, "How is it that I had to focus to keep a
stiffy down when you just made me cum?"
I laugh out loud, grateful that I had text him now, most of the anxiety
settling down and easing. "I can't help it if I'm that sexy, baby." I joke.
"Know you're just trying to tease me, but you're right. You're just too
bloody sexy, angel." He answers sincerely.
I blush, "You're too good with words, you are."
I can imagine the Cheshire grin that forms on his face at my compliment.
"You're too good with your mouth."
"Are you sure you're not trying for a round two right now?" I ask him.
He chuckles, "Nah, too sensitive right now. Plus my hand is sticky.
Probably need a shower."
I take that as my cue, "Okay, well, goodnight, Harry. Text me the time
you want me to head over tomorrow."
"Can you come over tonight?" He asks without shame.
I laugh, "Down boy. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Sweet dreams, angel."
†††
"I've got everything set up for us in my bedroom." He mumbles against
my neck.
The moment I stepped through his doorway, I was pinned up against his
wall. His lips devoured mine until I couldn't breathe and then they moved
across my jaw and down my neck. I couldn't focus on anything other than
his body against mine.
I had fallen asleep just thinking about it. The warmth he provided to my
cold body, and his low, steady breathes in my hair. After our phone call I
marveled at just how much it helped me. Just as Jake had sucked away all
my happiness and confidence, Harry had thrown it right back in my face.
What was best was that Harry had no clue how much I needed it, so it
wasn't forced and it wasn't out of pity. It was just his honest truth of needing
me - and only me - to help get him off.
His lips slinked up my skin until he was right in front of me again. "Did
you eat? Want some tea?"
I couldn't help but giggle, "You know, you can go from filthy words to
motherly words so easily."
"Did you just call me motherly?" He teases.
 "Yes. Yes, I did. Who asks for tea before being tied up to a bed and
fucked?" I ask him playfully.
He breathes out a laugh and tilts his head, "Just trying to be a good host."
"Mmm..." I say before kissing him again, "I'm gonna be honest: I didn't
get a chance to eat before coming here."
He smiles at me, "We're going to work up an appetite, so let's just get a
little snack and then afterwards we can have a big meal, okay?"
I nod my head. He takes my hand and leads me down the hallway to the
kitchen. I shake off the tingles it leaves in my stomach, not needing that
right now. I sit down on the stool next to the island in his kitchen and watch
him bring out a load of fruit to start cutting up. I watched him in amusement
as he gives me extra kiwi, and slides the bowel my way.
We eat in silence, exchanging knowing looks and heated gazes. He
finishes quickly, and I can see how impatient he is to get started, so I slow
down and keep solid eyes contact as I bite down and wrap my lips around
each single piece of fruit.
His eyes flicker between my eyes and my mouth, small groans escaping
him every once in a while. When I make a show eating a piece of kiwi, my
tongue making a salacious appearance he nearly growls, "Okay, that's
enough, angel."
I smile and look at him innocently, "Don't know what you're talking
about."
There's a moment of charged silence, like so many times before,
electricity pumping between us, before he snaps. He reaches over and takes
my now empty bowl out of my hands. Unceremoniously, he tosses it in the
sink, and I'm sure I hear the breaking of glass, but he's already in front of
me saying, "You're already breaking rule number one. You're just asking to
be punished tonight."
My mouth dropped, "Yes." I whispered, and suddenly he's standing me
up and ripping off my pants and shirt, leaving me in my underwear.
His eyes worship my body as he takes in my simple red matching lace
set. "I thought it was either in your clothes or naked, baby? This is neither."
I tease, my finger coming up to trace his sharp jaw.
His lips crash into mine, hoisting me up easily so my legs wrap around
him. I let him blindly walk us up to his room, crashing into walls to deepen
our kiss further, and I know I'll have light bruises on my back, but the pain
is welcome and arousing.
 He flings me onto the bed, making me yelp out and then break into
immediate laughter. His wide grin urges me further as he crawls over me on
the bed.
My hand comes up to hold his jaw in place, stopping him mid-kiss. "Still
not naked."
"I'm adding to the rule: lingerie counts." He huffs out, frustrated that I
won't let him kiss me.
"We can add to rules now, huh? Just when we feel like it?" I taunt.
He huffs out again, "Well, what do you expect me to do when you show
up wearing something like this. Want to enjoy it for a little while tonight."
I'm basking in the control he's giving me, knowing full well that in a few
moments he will be in charge for the rest of the night.
"No." I tell him. "Rules are rules. We can talk about changing them later.
Now take off my underwear."
His eyes dilate at my tone, and he follows my orders quickly and without
complain. I'll definitely bring up adding lingerie to the rule afterwards,
because I really loved the idea of surprising him with different looks.
After he tosses the pieces on the floor I start to move up the bed. I feel
myself get even wetter when I see what's on his nightstand: Silk scarves, a
lit candle, and a glass of watered down ice.
Not only would he be tying me up, but he would also be experimenting
with my number one draft pick: Hot and Cold play.
I squeal when I feel him grab my ankles and slide me further down the
bed. When I look up at him his face is filled to the brim with arousal, his
eyes gazing at me as if I were his prey. Suddenly, everything shifted and he
was in control.
"Put your arms up, angel." He says lowly.
I swallow my nerves and lay my arms up by the bedposts. He's looking
down at me like never before, a small devilish smile gracing his beautiful
face. Silently, he takes two of the three scarves and starts tying my wrists
up. When he's done with my right I test out the knot. There's a bit of room
for me to grab onto the scarf, but it's tied securely to the bedpost and my
wrist. He finished my other hand, and I suddenly feel so naked.
I know I've been naked for a little while, and many times now with
Harry, but to be tied up, completely open for him was making my heart
race. When Harry meets my eyes, he's back to the cuddly, caring Harry.
"You okay, angel? Is it too tight?" He asks me, studying my face closely.
 "No." I peep out.
There was a pause, "Do you want to continue?"
I nod my head, and I feel my eyes go wide, "Yes, please, yes. I need
this." I didn't mean to sound so desperate, but it was true.
His eyes looked at me softly as he cupped my cheek, "I know you do,
angel. You wouldn't have asked me to do this if you didn't need it." He dips
down low to peck my lips and whisper, "Relax, I'll make you forget."
"Please." I whimper out, closing my eyes.
"I need to ask you a few things first, Emma."
I open my eyes at the use of my name. "Yeah?" I ask in a quiet voice.
"Know we only talked about tying you up today, but I was thinking we
could also use some ice and hot wax?" I'm nodding quickly. "Okay, and I
read that being blindfolded makes the whole experience more... vivid. Are
you okay with that?"
I nod again, but he's quickly shaking his head, "Emma, angel, I need
verbal consent. Always. Do you hear me?"
My heart warms, "Yes, Harry. I want all of it."
He breathes out a shaky breath and nods his head, "I also got us a
present."
I furrow my brows at this, and watch him closely as he opens his drawer
and pulls out a smallish black ring. I recognize it immediately, my eyes
beam up at him to see him smiling. "Thought we would try for four like you
asked last night, but I know I wouldn't last that long, so earlier today I
stopped by a store as I got one."
"Okay." I say breathless.
He smiles brightly at me and my anticipation, "Are you ready?"
"Yes." I confirm solidly.
I was already fisting at the silk scarves when he grabbed the last scarf.
"Wait!" I suddenly yell out. He stops in his tracks and waits for me to say
something. "Can I watch you put it on?"
He relaxes at my question and nods. Stripping off his shirt and pants,
taking his boxers with them, I take in his body for the last time for a while.
He's not fully hard yet, which is good for the cock ring. He takes hold of his
dick and pushes the ring down to his base. It's a simple silicone one that is
just meant for his penis, instead of the ones that cut off the circulation of his
balls too.
 I exhale a deep breath as he groans at the feeling, stroking himself to get
him to full mast. He's staring down at me as he does this, so I help him out
and spread my legs for him to get the full view. Immediately, his eyes dart
to the wetness that had pooled in my folds.
"Fuck." He breathes out and I watch in interest as he grows right in front
of me. He looks so pretty with it on, muscles tensing at the feeling.
"How does it feel?" I ask.
"Tight." Is all he can say before he takes his hand away, and gathers
himself under my intense stare.
Without another word he picks up the scarf again and I lift my head so he
can secure it around my eyes. It's pitch black, not a sliver of light shining
through the fabric. My heart beats widely in my chest as I settle down on
his bed.
It feels like eternity of just waiting to feel something. Every rustle and
sound near me makes me tense up for a few seconds. My hands start to
shake as I finally hear the very distinct sounds of ice in a glass. A moment
later I feel it.
A sliver of an ice cube right in-between my clavicles. Harry lets it sit
there for a moment, so I can get used to the chill of it. Then he's trailing
slowly down the hollow of my breasts until it circles my belly button. The
cool sensation leaves my skin and I breathe out.
It's all so much now that my sight has been taken away from me. My
sense of touch and sound are heightened and I relax even more as the sweet
smell of cinnamon fills my lungs, the candle being my favorite scent.
I gasp out and arch my back as the freezing cold, melting ice travels
around my nipples. I can feel them pebble and keen out when he switches
over to my other nipple. My head rolls back and pushes into the pillow. I
can feel goosebumps all over my body and they multiply even more as he
trails it back up my chest and to my neck.
His pressure is light as he leaves trails of cold water up and down my
neck. Then it's pressing down on my lips. I open up my mouth and take it
in, including his fingers. I suck and can feel my mouth watering as the rest
of the ice cube melts fast in my mouth.
I hear the smallest groan from above me as his fingers slip out of my
mouth, and I pop the remaining bit of ice out, holding it with puckered lips.
I'm hoping he understands what I want, and I'm rewarded seconds later with
the dip of the bed and his warm mouth on mine. The cube is half in mine
and half in his. I smile against him and slowly inch the melting ice cube
into his mouth. He takes it happily, tucking to away to press a searing kiss
to my cold lips.
He pulls away and I can't help but whine. I hear a deep chuckle and the
crunch of ice and I shut my legs quickly feeling too aroused. Without even
being touched down there I'm throbbing, and I know he can tell. My hips
fidget and my knees are bent towards the ceiling.
In a moment, I'm relaxed, his fingertips grazing down my side. The cold
tips produce a shiver down my spine, but when he grazes down my hip all
the way to my knee I start to heat up. Her grips my knee in his large hands
and pushes it back to the mattress, so my knee was facing the wall instead
of the ceiling.
He felt so strong, and I was so consumed with the feeling that I didn't
hear that familiar clinking. When I felt another ice cube right at my pelvic
bone I inhaled quickly and squirmed my lower half.
"Nuh-uh, angel. Stay still for me, will you?" I nod my head before I truly
think of a response, "You're being so good for me tonight. Do you want
more?" I nod my head once more, but I hear him tut, "What did I say,
Emma?"
"More." I breathe out, "Yes, I want more."
Slowly the ice cube trails down to my core, and I'm lifting my hips in
anticipation. He pushed them back down and I'm cursing the moment the
coldness has my clit. He presses down before circling my bundle of nerves.
It's a weird sensation to have something so cold on you where you've only
felt warmth.
Honestly, I love it. I wonder what it must look like to him, my glistening
core staring at him while he pleasures me with another object. I bet he
would be sensational with a vibrator.
I moan and gasp when I feel two of his fingers at my entrance. "Yes,
Harry. Please, please, need more." I beg.
"As you wish." He whispers and plunges into me.
Relief floods me as both his ice cube and fingers move at a quicker pace,
and with all the build up and teasing it only takes a few minutes to have me
roll my hips against him. I feel the ice melting against my warmth until I
feel the outline of his thumb grazing me. I count down the seconds until it's
completely melted away and his cold thumb is washboarding my clit while
his two fingers are bent inside me, massaging my G-spot.
 The fire in my lower stomach explodes, the tension snapping within me
as I have my first orgasm of the night. He slows down, but doesn't stop,
dragging out my high until I'm twitching in his hands.
"So good for me. I love watching you come, angel..." He says in his low,
drawling voice. Without warning, a searing liquid falls on my sternum. I
yelp out and then moan as it calms, and slowly solidifies on my skin. I can
sense his pause, making sure I was alright until he continued. Little by little
more hot wax found its place on me. The sensation made my body tingle
and made my core wetter.
As if he could sense my readiness, he placed the tip of his hard cock onto
my clit. I bucked at the feeling, gasping as hot wax scattered across my
pelvis.
"Oh god, Harry!" I say loudly.
"I think that's enough hot, angel. I've got another way to warm you up."
He mumbles.
His tip disappears from my mound and I pout at the loss of touch, but
then he's spreading me apart and shuffling around on the bed, and I'm
laying there breathing hard waiting for something, anything.
"Ah! Ha-Harry..." I scream out as his warm mouth envelops my heat. My
clit is circled and flicked and sucked into his inviting mouth over and over,
no rhythm or sense to his tongue or lips. I'm sensitive from my last one, but
I don't care. I let him eat me out with such fervor, I didn't even know it was
possible.
It was no time at all until I was coming for the second time. He lets up on
me gratefully as I come down from my high, breathing heavily, sweaty
from our actions.
"You told me last night you like the taste of your come?" Harry asked
me, breathing heavily as well.
I nod, unable to speak. Everything's silent around me and my body is
buzzing, and I'm flinching away when I feel his tongue at my entrance. His
large hands grip my hips and pulls my body back to him, so he can dip his
tongue into me. I whimper at the feeling, but he leaves my dripping pussy a
moment later, crawling up the bed. I feel the dips in the bed on either side
of me where his hands and knees are, and now I'm excited again because I
might get to kiss him.
That's exactly what he does, his open mouth descending on mine, tongue
delving into my mouth. I meet it happily with mine and moan when I taste
my cum all over him. I lap at it and suck on it, and when it's all clean I kiss
him deeply. My hands instinctively try to find their way to his face or back
or hair, but the scarves hold tight.
"I'm going to give you a minute of calming down before I fuck you,
okay?" He mumbles against my mouth.
"Mhm." I hum into him.
His kisses are like finding water after searching the desert for days on
end. It's relief and excitement all wrapped into one, and one of these days I
just want to kiss him for hours. Really explore his lips and tongue and teeth.
It feels too short whenever he pulls away, like right now.
"No, no that wasn't a minute." I whine, trying to chase his lips by lifting
my head off the pillow.
"You're right..." He chuckles from somewhere above me, "It was two.
Gave my angel extra time, didn't I?"
I moan and flop back down. I love the way he talks to me when we're
having sex. It's teasing and playful, arousing and calming, and so very
comforting. He lets me know exactly what he's enjoying, so I never have to
worry about if I'm doing anything wrong.
"You're such a- Ah!" I scream out as he thrusts inside me. He lifts my
legs up to rest in his elbows and starts to move.
"Don't know how you do it... How you're so tight after everything I've
done to you." He grunts out.
As he bottoms out with every thrust I can feel his cock ring tight against
his base. I moan at the feeling, meeting his thrusts with my own the best I
could. It feels like forever, but too soon when I cum for a third time, but he
doesn't stop. Instead he grunts, and changes positions, lifting one leg over
his shoulder and the other held down sideways on the bed.
The angle feels even better, and I don't know if it's because I'm so
sensitive or because of how animalistic he's acting. He's breathing heavily
and grunting and cursing and moaning my name, and it's only furthering me
towards another orgasm.
I'm completely fucked out of my brain as he positions himself differently.
I think he's kneeling on the bed, leg hooked over his shoulder still, while
my foot is placed right over his heart against his chest.
My mouth opens wide to scream out, and I'm pulling hard on my
restraints. He's slamming so hard into me, I know I'll have bruises, but I
love it. The noises that leave me are uncharacteristic. I know they're
spurring him on, though, the passion in which he's holding me and fucking
with me obvious.
It's when he whimpers out my name that I'm coming now for the fifth
time, completely losing it. My body twitches and I thrash on the bed. I can
feel him come inside me, a sound of relief coming out of him, and he
collapses on top of me, both legs now over his shoulders. The stretch is
unreal and I squeal at the angle it cause between us. With my body buzzing
and sweaty, I shake when I feel him inside me.
He groans near my ear and mutters, "Fuck... still hard. Emma, angel,
baby, I'm still - oh god! - so hard. I know you're spent, but maybe... maybe
one more, please? You feel so good around me, I don't want to come
anywhere else.
And although I'm completely spent and sensitive, I nod my head,
muttering out a tired, "Keep going" when I remember his demand from
earlier.
"Are you sure. I'm so sorry. I'm just- just so hard, and it hurts."
He sounds like he's near tears, and I wonder if the cock ring is too much.
My heart twists at the thought of him in pain, and I know I can take it.
"I'm sure, baby. Use me..." I whisper into his ear, wishing I could tangle
my fingers into his hair.
He moans, and wraps his arms underneath my shoulder blades to grip
onto my shoulders. "Tell me if it's too much." He whispers before he starts
bucking into my hips.
These thrusts are shorter and more stunted, filled with less rhythm than
he's ever had before. He normally prefers to give long thrusts from his tip to
his hilt, but he sounds exhausted and whiny and it melts my heart.
His pace is quick and I'm squirming and throbbing around him, in pain
and pleasure. It's consuming, but oh so perfect. I could actually come again,
and I want to.
And I will, because he's losing control, whispering dirty things into my
ear that are also oddly sweet.
"Pussy's made for me, innit? Even after so much you're begging for
more..." He curses as I clench down hard on him, "Fuck, six, angel? You're
sensational-" he grunts, "-and so fucking tight! How could anyone give you
up?"
"Harry," I breathe, "c'mon, baby, I need you to come inside me. Fill me
up like you're meant to." I urge on, whiny and gasping for air as I do.
 He moves his head out of the crook in my neck and bites down hard on
my shoulder. I scream out in pain and it pushes me to release around him
for the sixth time. It's so powerful that it draws out his second, hips
stuttering against mine, spasming into me like he's completely out of
control just like me.
The sound he makes as he comes is heavenly: grunty and moany and
whimpery all at once. As my body becomes numb and weightless, he sighs
in relief, melting further into me, not a single tense muscle in his whole
body.
"Angel... angel..." He whispers mindlessly and I find myself smiling
hazily, completely drunk on Harry.
Chapter Thirteen

HARRY
I was still seated deep inside her when I finally came back down from my
orgasm.
That was... that was something I never experienced before. Not only was
Emma so incredibly sensitive that she just kept climaxing, but the cock ring
pushed my limits almost too far. After I finally came, I was so close to
crying out in frustration when I realized I was still hard. It was too much,
yet not enough.
And I was worried about Emma.
I couldn't imagine cumming so many times. I would have a heart attack
for sure, but when I was pathetically begging her to let me keep fucking her,
the care in her voice melted my heart.
We were silent as we calmed down, just the sound of our breathing. I
blinked open my eyes and caught a glimpse of her limp hand still tied up. I
felt guilt fill me up. Shit, I needed to take care of her. First, I took her
blindfold off to see her eyes shut then she flinched underneath me as I
stretched out to untie her hands, switching sides carefully so I don't hurt her.
They fell on the mattress like dead weight. I started to knead her biceps
down to her forearms and lastly her hand, careful with her wrists. We had
been at it for a long time, well over an hour, maybe even close to two. I
remember how hard she was fighting the restraints for the last two orgasms.
I looked down at her blissed out face, heart cracking when I see a faint
smile.
I flinch when I feel her soft hands on my skin, but melt back into her
when she caressed the sweaty skin on my back. It feels so good as I rest my
face in the crook of her neck. I just want to fall asleep like this, but I know
we can't.
 I let out a deep sigh and lift myself up on my shaky arms. She blinks
open her eyes, looking sleepy as hell and so cute. I smile fondly at her and
start to pull out. I hiss at the feeling, and she shuts her eyes quickly. I watch
as our mixed releases start to leak out of her, but I just can't gather the
strength to go get a towel to clean up like I usually do, so instead I just
watch it mesmerized by the view. I'm definitely going to need to clean my
sheets before we go to bed.
"Harry." Her voice sends chills down my spine. I look up at her, and she
gestures to herself, "C'mere, baby."
I fall back into my old position between her legs and lean on my elbows
by her head. My hand starts to brush her hair back, but it quickly fists and
pulls when I feel her hand softly take hold of my sensitive, softening penis.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm just going to take off our toy, so you can relax." Her
voice is so soothing that I find myself closing my eyes and nodding my
head. "You did so good for me." She coos in my ear as she firmly takes hold
of the ring. I tense up as she slowly starts sliding it off my penis. I hiss out.
"My baby's so sensitive. Completely spent aren't you?" My forehead drops
to her chest as my heart beats loudly in my ear. My baby. "It's almost off.
There we go. You're free again."
"Thank you." I breathe in relief. She fidgets beneath me and I hear her
place it on the nightstand. I let a small laugh escape me, "Thought I was
supposed to be the one to take care of you."
"Mmm, we can take turns." She tells me, her fingers dancing along my
spine and twirling my hair.
It was another ten minutes before I lifted my head and looked at her. Her
eyes were still a bit hazy, but she looked peacefully content in this moment.
"Got to get you cleaned up and fed before we fall asleep on each other."
"You mean before you fall asleep on me. If you're still tired then I can
wait a little longer. I'm not uncomfortable-" Right then her stomach growled
making both of us laugh lightly, "I am starving though. Maybe we can order
delivery? Pizza? Eat first, bathe later?"
"I think that sounds wonderful, angel." I tell her, finally rolling off her
and stretching my hand out to find my phone. I looked through my contacts
to find my go-to pizza place, and handed the phone to Emma. "Order
whatever you want, just make sure it's half bbq chicken. Just give them my
name, they have my address." I mumble as I lay my head into the pillow.
 As she dials their number, my finger traced the dried wax on her stomach
and chest. It was a white candle, so it kind of looked liked dried cum. My
mind started picturing what that would really look like, and before I knew it
I was asking, "Would you mind if I came on your chest?"
"Hello-" She stopped and stared at me wide-eyed, her face turning red.
I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the laugh that was threatening
to escape. There was no way that the person on the other line didn't hear
that. We were still laying very close, my nose grazing her jawline.
"Yep, I'm still here." She squeaks out, clearly embarrassed, but with a
wide smile. "Yeah, can I get a large bbq chicken pizza with two sides of
ranch? Mhm.... What sides do you have? Oh, we'll also get the cheesy
bread! Can you get it delivered for Harry..." Her eyes go wide again and she
whispers to me, "What's your last name?"
The grin on my face was now hurting my cheeks it was so wide, "Styles."
I tell her.
"Styles, Harry Styles... Yep, that's the one." She gives me a look as I
stifle a laugh.
The moment she hangs up and tosses the phone on the bed beside her we
both start cracking up. It's probably the hardest I've laughed in a long time. I
look at Emma to see tears in her eyes as she tries to calm down, taking deep
breathes after laughing so hard she couldn't take in any air.
"I just came off as a total slag!" She yells into the air, covering her face.
"I'm so sorry. I got distracted, and forgot you were on the phone." I
apologize.
She waves me off, "It's fine. The poor girl was laughing by the end of it,
and she's probably telling all her coworkers by now."
"Oh god," I groan, "the delivery guy is going to be so smug. The normal
one is this seventeen year old kid who looks like he spends all his free time
watching porn."
She snorts, "Oh, by the way, you can definitely cum on my tits. Pretty
much anywhere, but try and avoid the eyes. Just make sure you clean it up."
My eyes flash, "Of course, angel. Wouldn't dream of leaving you all
messy like that. Be a bit considerate..."
"You're such a gentleman." Emma deadpans, making me smile.
We laid in silence for a few minutes before I asked, "How was it? Did
you like everything?"
 She turns her head towards me, interlacing our fingers and laying them
on her stomach. "Yeah, it was... well, it was really great. I think it might
have to be something we do sparingly, though. Took a lot out of us."
"That's for certain..." I agree, "Might even be too sensitive to fuck you
tomorrow."
She pouts, "But I wanted you to bend me over your dining room table
after breakfast."
I groan, "Emma, you're going to be the death of me"
She laughs, "More like that cock ring will be."
"Holy shit, we have to use that sparingly. It was..." I try and think of a
way to describe it.
"Almost too good?" She suggests.
"Yes. I really thought I was going to cry when I realized I was still hard."
I tell her.
She grins at me, "What happened to you buying everything online so you
wouldn't have to go to the store and be all embarrassed and shy?" Her
teasing tone makes me pinch her arm.
"Oh god, that was so embarrassing. You're the one who wanted four
orgasms."
"And I got six, two of them very painful."
I look at her quickly, "Wait, what? You were-"
"Shh..." She cups my cheek soothingly, "it was good pain. Like when you
spank me." I calm down instantly, grateful that I hadn't been too selfish.
"Anyways, I think we should file that under special sex."
I raise my eyebrow, "Special sex?"
"Yeah, you know, the type of sex that we ask for only when we really
need it." She answers, trailing her thumb along my bottom lip mindlessly.
I nod my head, "Did it help?"
Her eyes flashed to mine, "What do you mean?"
"Whatever you were going through yesterday. Did it help? I'm sorry I
couldn't get you into your subspace again-"
"No, no, Harry, don't apologize. I think that's only something that
happens when I really really need it." She tells me. She takes a moment to
answer my initial question, "Don't know how you knew, but yeah, some
stuff happened yesterday... You helped by calling me."
"I'm glad you texted me... Liked knowing that you feel comfortable
telling me what you want. It was pretty easy to see you needed to forget
again."
There's silence as I watch her. She's thinking hard, and I wonder if she's
thinking of confiding in me. I wouldn't mind it. It would mean she was
willing to let me in.
Finally she says, "You always make me forget... Thank you."
I feel my face soften as I turn towards her, "You're welcome, angel."
Her eyes captivate me, as she stares at me. They're such a beautiful shade
of pale blue. So striking in certain lights. Her fingers stroke my cheek so
sensually, and it feels different for a moment.
Intimate.
I want to kiss her, but not like I normally kiss her. I want it slow and
passionate. I want to silently tell her things I would never let leave my lips.
It could scare her away, the kiss I want to bestow on her. But here I am,
moving in, breathing in her air, holding her eyes in mine. She's following
my lead, and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest when her nose nudges
mine.
Then the doorbell rings.
We jump back, breaking out of our daze. She goes to stand up, "I'll get
that-"
"No, you won't." I tell her forcefully, "Lay back down. I'll get it." I stand
up and wobble a bit on my feet.
"Harry, I can go down-"
"Not like that you aren't." I say as I tug on some gym shorts.
She rolls her eyes at me, "Obviously I would put clothes on."
"Doesn't matter. You looked completely fucked out of your mind. I'm not
letting some horny teenager see what's for my eyes only." I tell her. I pause
momentarily as I hear how possessive I sound. She's just staring at me,
brows furrowed slightly. I shake my head and just walk out.
I remind myself to keep that part of me at bay. I can't go around dictating
her like that. I can't show her how much she means to me this early on. It
would ruin everything.
When I come back upstairs I find her sitting against the headboard, one
of my shirts over her torso. She's checking her phone and biting her lip.
I clear my throat, "Sorry, uh, about that. Just knew that kid would make a
comment, and he did, and I didn't-"
She cut off my rambling, "Don't worry about it, Harry. It's okay."
I look at her, "You sure?"
 She nods, "Just don't go acting all macho man on me again, okay? I am a
grown ass woman who can make her own decisions." She raises her
eyebrow at me as a challenge.
Fuck, she was so hot when she was so confident. I didn't feel like I saw it
all that often outside sex.
"Yeah, of course. It won't happen again." I promise her.
†††
"Okay, spill." Oliver said the moment I popped the cap off of my beer
and sat down.
I gave him a look and sighed, "Why do you care so much?"
"Because when I had drinks with you last Wednesday, you were actually
happy. Not that fake happy you always put off."
I wasn't surprised that he could read me so well. Oliver was scary good at
reading people. That's probably why he had joined the police force, and was
studying to become a detective inspector.
"Okay, I'm not that much different-"
"Harry, cut the bullshit and tell me." He looks me dead in the eye and I
knew I would never be able to hold the secret.
A stupid smile crossed my face, making him raise an amused eyebrow.
"Don't." I warn him and he raises his hands in mock defense. "Alright, well,
what was the last thing I told you."
"Sex in the car." He answers immediately.
I gave him weird look at how quick his response was, but forged on,
"Well, obviously you saw her at the bar on halloween."
"Yeah, I'll tell you: she's a looker."
I glare at him, "Don't-"
"Holy shit! I knew it! You like this girl!" He exclaims.
I groan and bury my face in my hands, "Will you calm down?"
"Not until you admit it." He tells me.
"Will you at least let me get there?" I say exasperatedly.
He beams at me and urges, "Go on."
"Well, you guys didn't notice but she left me a note to meet her in the
bathroom after she was off."
"So that's why you stayed." Oliver interrupted again.
I nod my head, "Yeah, and I did, of course..." I take a deep breath, "and it
was fucking amazing like always. But then we were walking out together,
and this guy who had been bugging her early on was glaring at her. I think
they used to date or something, but I haven't asked. It was like all the
confidence got sucked out of her and I didn't like it, so I kissed her. In front
of everyone-"
"Woah, that's not like you at all." Oliver remarks.
He was right. I was never one for PDA. In fact, I hated it. The most I
would do was a hug or hold hands, maybe an occasional peck of the lips.
"I know. And I even stared down the guy, which he did not like."
"What happened after that?"
"I invited her back to my place." I answer sheepishly.
"What?!" Oliver's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull, "Harry- I, fuck, I
don't even know what to say."
"Yeah, I know."
He hesitates before asking, "You've haven't had a girl stay the night since
Carla, right? And not even in your new place."
I nod, "Just Emma."
He whistles at that and takes a swig of his beer, "You're in deep, mate."
"Thanks for stating the obvious." I roll my eyes.
"Please continue. I'm too invested in this." He waves his hand around
impatiently.
"Okay, well, she gets to my place, and I just kind of asked her to be
friends with benefits." I tell him nonchalantly.
"You just asked her to be friends with benefits..." He repeats slowly.
I gulp, "Yep, I don't even know where it came from. I wasn't planning on
it, but... fuck, mate, sex with her is like... nothing I've ever experienced. I
couldn't just not suggest it. And we both seemed to have matching tastes in
liking it rough and a little dirty."
His eyebrows shot up, "A little?" He teases.
"Alright, a lot. A lot dirty. Anyways, we decide on some rules, of course,
and we've talked about things we want to try-"
"Woah, you aren't just going to skip past this. What are the rules?" Oliver
presses.
I sigh, "Um, first is if she's at mine she is either naked or in my clothes."
My face reddens when he scoffs, "Two: cuddling is allowed. Three: If she
stays the night then I have to have coffee made for her in the morning. Four:
we're exclusive." I ignore Oli's sigh, "Five: we have one person we can tell -
mainly cause I already told you. Six: no lies. Seven: if either of us needs a
fake boyfriend or girlfriend we do it. Eight: we can just hang out sometimes
without the sex." I finish quickly.
There's a beat of silence before Oliver takes a couch cushion and hits me
over the head with it. "You are a bloody idiot, you know that!"
"Jesus - fuck!" I yell out, "Stop hitting me! What was that about?"
"What kind of rules are those! Those aren't fuck buddy rules!" He yells
back at me.
"Yeah, well I couldn't help it, okay! I want to hold her and take care of
her after sex! She always just melts into me, and I can't help but like it." I
admit, face turning red.
He's slack-jawed for a few seconds, "I'm surprised you admitted that so
easily."
I groan, "Yeah, I'm not happy about it, but here we are. And don't even
think about asking what we talked about for our preferences. That's between
Emma and I."
"Don't need to worry about that. I don't need to know if you like being
dominated or not." He jokes.
I blush a bit, thinking of this morning, "Well, that's where we are now."
He thinks for a moment, "Don't you think this is risky, though? Those
rules are very... intimate. I mean, cuddling is allowed, exclusivity, hang-out
sessions? What if she doesn't end up liking you like that?" He asks
cautiously.
"You don't think I've thought of that? It's not even like that right now. She
needs someone to distract her, get her mind off things, and that's what I'll
be." I tell him.
"Until you see an opening." He inserts.
"Yeah, we'll see if that happens. I'm enjoying what we've got going right
now. And with the stuff we're trying there's no way we couldn't do the
cuddling and affection thing. I mean, with what we did Thursday and
Saturday we absolutely needed the aftercare." I say absentmindedly.
"Thursday and Saturday? Which also means Friday morning and,
probably, most of today?" He asks.
I shrugged, trying to push out the memory of what Emma and her tongue
did to the place no girl has dared touched this morning, "Yeah, so what?"
"Don't you think that's a lot? Maybe you should limit it to, like, once a
week?"
 I shake my head instantly, "That won't work. We already see each other
almost everyday at the gym. Something's bound to happen even if we put
that rule on the list. And besides, I don't want to see her only once a week.
I'm having... fun with her. Honestly Oli, I haven't felt so relaxed and haven't
laughed as hard as I do with her in a long time."
My mind wanders to our late night chats, almost like we were old friends.
Just old friends who were only wearing one: some loose hanging shorts, and
two: an old shirt, both with no underwear.
"She's really something to you, isn't she?" Oliver asks.
I look at him, "She's definitely something. I don't know what exactly,
but..." I sigh, "I am trying to keep it at bay, you know. I'm holding back as
much as I can. She's still completely hung up on her piece of shit ex. She's
not in the right mindset to start something new."
"But you'll wait?"
I hesitate before admitting, "Yeah, I'll wait."
†††
It was late on Tuesday, the gym close to closing, and I noticed how both
Emma and I seem to be dawdling. We haven't spoken since Sunday
afternoon, only saying a quick hi to each other at the gym yesterday. I held
myself back from calling her last night, knowing that Oliver was partially
right about spending too much time together. I would fall much faster and
she would probably get scared away.
But she had taken a spin class tonight, and she was in perfect view of
where I was sparring with Mike. Her breasts were bouncing with every
move she made, her chest was glistening, and her face was focused. I
adored it when she got like that. It reminded me of when I was teaching her
to box, and how sexy she looked.
Mike had hit me upside the head, "You're distracted tonight."
I took a big gulp of my water as I stepped off to the side, "Sorry, a lot
going on with work."
He rolls his eyes, "Are you sure it's not the busty brunette in the next
room over?"
I looked at him quickly and scoffed, "You're imagination is acting up
again."
"I think you are deflecting." He pushes.
This time I roll my eyes, thinking of an excuse, "So what, she's nice to
look at. She's got a pretty face and great boobs. If it were Molly or Morgan
right there I'd be staring too." The words tasted horrible on my tongue, and I
had to fight not to look disgusted.
"Yeah, but you've seen them naked."
"Seriously, Mike? I don't want her like that. In fact, I'm going to take a
break from it all. I need to focus on myself, right now." I lie out of my teeth.
Mike perks up at this, "Really? I actually think that sounds great, mate. I
think you need some time to yourself."
"Yeah, me too. C'mon, I'm ready to go again."
I kept focused this time, not trying to give anything away. I only watched
her when Mike said he had to go, another baby-making session with Naomi
scheduled. I spend the next half hour lifting weights, waiting for Emma to
be done for class. She catches my eye before walking to the owner's office.
She must be friends with her, because when she knocks, Maggie bounds
over to her and hugs her.
I watch closely, moving from machine to machine without really putting
much effort into it. I wanted to talk to Emma, but I couldn't do that here. I
needed to catch her outside. I practically jumped out of the machine I was
sitting at when I see her head out the front door, the weights crashing down
loudly. Luckily, we had been there for so long that there were only a
handful of people working out. I ignored their stares and grabbed my gym
bag, rushing out behind her.
"Emma!" I called to her when I saw that no one was in the parking lot.
Her passenger side door was open as she placed her stuff in her car, turning
to look at me.
"Harry!" She mocked me, making me crack a smile, "What's got you so
excited?"
"Sorry, I was just thinking about how we never talked about when we
would see each other again." I say a little breathlessly after running across
the large parking lot.
She tuts, "What were we thinking?"
"We obviously weren't. Probably too exhausted from all the... exploring
we did Sunday morning." I tease.
She bites her lips, "I can imagine your mind would be all hazy after what
I did to you."
Once again the memory of her exploring my tight hole with her tongue,
and later fingers, popped into my mind. I willed away my erection, knowing
I shouldn't get a boner out in public with workout shorts on that left little to
the imagination.
"You have no idea, angel." I breathed, glancing at her lips. I cleared my
throat, "I was thinking... Maybe we could make Thursday night our thing.
Mike's never at the gym on Thursday..."
She thinks about it for a second and then finally shrugs, "That sounds
good to me. Your place is a pretty easy drive to work actually. Plus, your
bed's super comfy, and every once in a while I get Friday's off, so I can
sleep in, and take full advantage of your setup."
My heart beats loudly in my chest as I think about leaving her in my bed
while I go off to work. It's all so domesticated.
"Yeah, you're welcome to do that." I tell her, slightly breathlessly.
I watch as her face blanches, "Oh, wow, I'm so sorry. I totally just invited
myself to stay at yours when you're not there. I can't believe I just did that-"
"Emma, calm down. It's fine." I chuckle at her nervousness, finding it
endearing.
She studies my face, "Well, you won't need to worry about me doing
that." She promises me.
"Right, because I'm really going to be able to wake you up at seven in the
morning when you don't have to be anywhere." I look at her amused,
"Angel, it took me like thirty minutes to wake you up Sunday morning and
it was ten."
She blushes, "I like my sleep, okay?"
I laugh, "And I said it was okay for you to stay and sleep in, so stop
freaking out about it." I tell her with a pointed look.
She huffs, "Fine."
I smile at her frustration, "I'll see you on Thursday then? We'll meet
here?"
She nods, "Sounds good."
"Right." I say awkwardly, not exactly wanting to go, "Sounds good."
I'm parked right next to her, so I click my locks open and throw my bag
in the back. When I turn back to her I see her smirking at me. "What?" I say
confused.
"Does your friend with benefits not get a goodbye kiss?" She taunts.
A grin spread wide across my face. I look around the parking lot to see
it's still empty, and step in front of her. Her hands press against my chest,
and I bet she's expecting a short, maybe slightly cheeky kiss but fuck that. It
had been over forty-eight hours since I last got a taste of her, and it would
be another forty-eight until I got the full package.
I lean down and capture her lips with mine in a deep and searing kiss. I
give her no warning as I push my tongue into her mouth, caressing her own.
She squeaks out at the sudden force, but fists my shirt and responds quickly
to my need. My hand pulls her into me while the other cups her face.
Kissing Emma is a dream. A beautiful, magical, wet dream. The sounds
she makes urges me to take it further, but I know I can't. We're in public,
and we've already risked car sex once. There were more people around
tonight as well, considering it was earlier in the day, even if it was already
dark out.
But then this filthy, teasing angel dropped her hands to my waist band
and started toying with it.
And I lost all control.
I growled into her mouth, and backed her into her still open door. I pulled
away and looked around again. Still no one. When I looked back at her, she
was breathing hard and looking up at me expectantly, waiting for me to
decide on what to do.
My last doubts left me as I leaned in again, but stopped right before her
lips, "My angel, teasing me in public like this?"
"Yes, want you." She whispered back, nipping at my bottom lip.
I'm sure my eyes dilated as I stared down at her, "Fuck." I breathed out. I
ripped her hands away from my waistband, and placed them on my sides,
"Look who wants to be fucked in public... Out in the open for anyone to
watch us." She whimpers and I lose my god damn mind, plunging my hand
down her legging, under her panties, and straight to her already wet pussy.
She gasps and looks around wildly, not actually expecting me to touch
her in public. I shield her body from the gym side, her door shielding us
from the roadside, my SUV hiding us well. "Shh, it's okay. I've got you,
Emma. Won't let anyone see you, I promise."
"Promise?" She moans against my mouth, relaxing against me as I stroke
her folds.
"Promise." I whisper, "Let me take care of you."
She nods her head and kisses me salaciously. Her hands have a tight grip
on my sides, squeezing every time I brush past her clit.
From the outside, we just look like a couple kissing, maybe hugging from
certain angles. Once my fingers are soaked, I bring them up to her clit and
start fast circles, knowing we don't have a lot of time. She moans mine
name and separates from my mouth to bury her face in my chest.
"Angel, I need you to stay quiet, okay?" I say.
She nods her head, "Yes, baby."
I exhale a deep breath at her compliance. I can't believe she's letting me
do this, but it's been too long since I've watched her come, the last being
spread out on my dining room table. I focus on her breathing and small
twitches of her body. I was starting to be able to know her body very well
now. Knowing that if I go from circling her clit to pressing down on it, gets
her to wiggle her hips in a silent attempt to get me moving again. Or how if
I pinch her between my thumb and pointer finger she mewls, which sounds
delectable muffled against my chest.
"So fucking sexy, Emma. You have no idea how hard I'm gonna cum
tonight thinking about this... and tomorrow morning and then in the
afternoon. Maybe even at work. Probably get hard instantly just thinking of
your little moans." I'm rewarded with a whimper and one of her hands
grasping at the top of my shirt now. I can feel her climax building up as my
fingers are relentless. "Thinking of how wet you get at just my kisses. Can
just imagine unzipping my pants, and stroking myself when anyone could
walk in on me, but that's what you do to me, Emma. You make me lose
control."
Her knees nearly buckle, and I tighten my grip around her waist to steady
her. She's subtly moving her hips in a very sensual way, and I'm dying to
stuff her full of my cock. I press down harder and breathe in her hair. It
smells like lavender, just how my pillow smelt Sunday night. It lolled me to
sleep faster than anticipated. I bury myself deeper into her hair, moving my
fingers to her opening and pushing them in.
She tenses for a second, and then exhales in relief. My heart's going crazy
and my fingers are drenched. I bring my thumb to continue the assault on
her clit, and within a few minutes she's experiencing a keening orgasm. I
slow and lighten the pressure inside her as she grips the back of my neck to
bring my face close to hers. Our noses graze as I whisper how good she is
for me, and when she flinches, I cup her heat, not wanting to leave her just
yet.
"Thank you." She says breathlessly after a minute or two.
I smile, "You don't have to thank me, Emma. Believe me: that did just as
much for you as it did me."
 She giggles, making my heart swell, "Hmm, can just imagine you getting
off tonight in your king sized bed."
I breathe out a laugh, "You really like my bed, huh?"
"I love it." She says seriously.
I shake my head and smile as I pulled my hand out from her pants,
bringing my two fingers to my mouth to suck them clean. She tasted sweet
and delightful as always. I had to close my eyes, and breathe deeply through
my nose to compose myself. I stepped away, fully aware of the massive tent
in my pants, her wide eyes leaving my mouth to gaze hungrily at it.
"See you Thursday, angel."
Chapter Fourteen

EMMA
It had been a while since I had been here, the cafe bustling around me,
busier than I remember it being when I used to frequent the small shop. I
was glad it was grading day for the teachers, so I didn't have to be at school.
I did have to attend a short meeting at eight this morning with the rest of the
staff, though.
Now I was sitting down and grading my students tests. We had taken
chapter tests in all subjects, and then I had to put together a progress report,
and list to kids I might want to sit down and talk to with their parents.
It was a lot of work, and I didn't need to be around Jake or any other
teachers to bug me. Jake had, for the most part, left me alone all week. I
wondered if he ever looked at the texts he sent me, and regretted them. This
wasn't the first time I had gotten drunken rambling voicemails or hateful
texts. Hell, I even got them occasionally while we were dating. His alcohol
consumption has seemed to risen, though, and it was already dangerously
high when he was with me.
I remember a few times I had tried to talk to him about his potential
problem, but he would always blow up on me, and tell me to stay out of his
business or that I was delusional. It was always constant verbal abuse from
him. Now, months later, I was able to see that. It still stung. It still hurt. And
I still wasn't free of him obviously, but neither was I tied to him.
I hoped Lauren was having better luck with him. Maybe she could get
through to him, and stop a potential disaster. And I sure as hell hoped he
was treating her better.
I got the feeling he did. He acted differently in public around her than he
did with me. I was never good enough to earn that level of care from him.
I refocused and paid attention to Chloe's reading test, marking her
answers and tallying points.
"Is this seat taken?"
 I look up to see familiar green eyes, and fluffy brown hair. The same ones
I left this morning.
"Harry?"
He chuckles and takes a seat, a to-go coffee cup in his hands, "Hello,
Emma."
"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work?"
I take in his outfit, nice black slacks, a colorful button-up shirt
underneath a heavy overcoat that draped to his knees. Everything was
perfectly tailored to fit his form. He looked expensive.
"Lunch break." He answers me. I look at my old watch and realize it's
almost one in the afternoon. "My office is right across the street. What are
you doing here?"
"Oh, it's grading day, so once our meeting was over I decided to come
here to get my work done."
His brows furrow, "Grading day?"
I nod, "Yeah, I'm a teacher down at the school on the corner."
Harry smiles brightly, "At the elementary school?"
"Mhm, been there for... four years now. What about you?" I ask him,
placing my elbows on the small table, and taking a sip of my tea.
"I'm a lead accountant at Spectron Tech." He tells me with no
enthusiasm.
I raise my eyebrows, "Wow, that's a great job." It made total sense how
Harry afforded his brownstone house in the best part of the city. Spectron
was huge, and if he was at that level I'm sure his paychecks were close to
six digits.
He shrugs, "It's fine." He changes the subject fast, "What grade do you
teach?"
"Second, so I've got twenty-five seven year olds that I've got to teach the
basics of life." I joke, getting the sense he doesn't want to talk about his job.
"Do you like it?"
"Love it." My eyes light up as I gush about my kids. Harry soaks it all up
as if I'm telling him a grand story of adventure. "Anyway, you probably
don't want to hear about all the problems I've got with my kids. I know it's
boring for non-teachers-"
"No, I enjoyed listening to you. I can see how much you care about
them." He says sincerely.
"Yeah, well, big fan of kids."
 "Me too." He smiles, "My older siblings have a few kids, and I love
being the fun uncle. I spoil them rotten." He laughs.
I cock my head, "How many siblings do you have?"
He swallows a big gulp of coffee, "Three. Two older, and then Luanne,
you met her, kind of... on Halloween. She's the baby. Do you have any?"
I shake my head, "No, it was always just me and my mom growing up."
He nods his head, probably thinking it's a sensitive topic. It really wasn't.
I didn't know my dad. He left us before I was even born, but my mom filled
that gap incredibly.
He opens his mouth to say something, but right then someone pulled a
chair up to our table.
"Well, look who's having a little coffee date." Mike from the gym teased,
looking at us back and forth.
I gave him an amused look, but Harry rolls his eyes and groans, "It's not
a coffee date. I just saw her over here, and stopped to stay hi."
It was like his demeanor changed instantly. He wasn't the relaxed, easy-
going Harry that I was used to. No, he was the tense Harry I always saw at
the gym.
"Mhm," Mike looked unconvinced, but turns to me, "How you doing,
Emma? Feel like I haven't talked to you in forever."
"Well, maybe if you took more yoga classes we could talk." I tease.
He groans, "Oh, hell no." Harry snorted at his friend, "Never going
through that again. Maybe spin class?"
I raise my eyebrows at this. He has no idea. "I would love to see that."
"You know, I really don't like that glint in your eyes." He points at me
suspiciously.
I chuckle, "I have no clue what you're talking about."
"For the record, Mike, I think you could dominate a spin class." Harry
tells him, giving me a subtle wink when Mike turns to me to give me a
smug smile.
"Alright, how about Monday? I already signed up for the class. You'll
just need to rent some shoes." I suggest, loving the thought of seeing him
struggle on a bike.
His brows furrowed, "What's wrong with mine?"
I roll my eyes, "You need special shoes that strap in to the bike properly."
"Oi, how am I supposed to know!" He puts his hands up, "I am kind of
excited, though. Bet my ass is gonna look so good after a few classes.
Naomi's gonna be clawing at the bit."
Harry groans, but I decide to tease Mike further, "Naomi? Is that what
you're calling your imaginary wife?"
Harry nearly chokes on his coffee, laughing loudly making a few tables
turn towards us.
Mike yells, "I have told you a million times she's real! Harry's here. He
can back me up on this." He looks at him at him expectantly.
Harry, who has finally calmed down from his laughing/choking fit says,
"I can neither confirm nor deny."
"You're a terrible friend." Mike deadpans, then looks back over to me,
"How about this: you come out with us tonight, and see for yourself that I
have a very real, human wife."
Mike doesn't see the sudden paleness that washes over Harry's face. My
face goes hot at both the invitation and his reaction, a small amount of
rejection flooding through me. "Uh... I don't know... Bars aren't really my
thing."
"No, I insist." Mike shakes his head and presses on, "And, anyways, it's
the same bar as Halloween. You worked there, so it's got to be your thing."
"I really don't-" I began.
"Do you have other plans?" He asks.
"Well, no..." I answer before I can even think to lie. I'm avoiding Harry's
face, not wanting to see his reaction to our conversation.
"Then come out and have some fun with us!" Mike exclaims. I hesitate,
not sure how to tell him no, when, "Seriously, Emma, I think you would
have a really great time, and I know you would get along with Naomi like
old pals. Harry agrees, don't you, Harry?"
At this he turns towards his friend who has been watching us silently this
whole time. He swallows before he looks at me and says, "Yeah, why don't
you come out."
I could tell he didn't mean it. This would definitely be crossing a line. It's
not like I would introduce him to my friends, or friend, I guess. I look away
from him, and tell them, "I'll think about it."
Mike purses his lips, "I don't think that's good enough, but in case you do
decide to join us, we usually end up meeting around five - five thirty."
"Sounds good." I send him a tight-lipped smile.
Harry clears his throat, "We should probably get back to work, right
Mike?"
 My heart drops. I had been enjoying Harry's presence. He always made it
an effort to listen to me, and it felt good to be genuinely paid attention to,
for the first time ever.
"Okay, well, bye." I say in a small voice.
"See you tonight, Emma!" Mike calls to her cheekily, making her shake
her head and breathe out a laugh.
Harry looks back at me, offering a small forced smile before leaving the
coffee shop without saying goodbye. I bite the inside of my mouth in an
attempt to hold back my feelings.
Harry and I had been in our own little bubble the past few weeks. Hidden
away in his house, away from the prying eyes of family and friends, we've
been able to do exactly what we set out to. But just as Millie had warned me
last Sunday, it could start to mess with my mind.
I decided to not go out with them tonight. As much as I craved the idea of
being able to go out with a group of friends, I couldn't get wrapped up in
that again. I had been stupid enough to surround myself solely with Jake's
friends, not taking the time to make any for myself besides a young
neighbor and an old college friend who was too busy starting up her own
gym to hang out regularly.
To be fair, I thought that Jake and I were going to last, I really did. I
thought I had found a solid group of friends who would stick by me, but no.
They left the moment Jake left me.
I couldn't do that to myself again. Especially with Harry. What we had
was inevitably going to end, and he would be able to go back to his friends.
I would be stuck in the same place. Even if it ended mutually, it would be
too awkward.
I bury myself in work for the next few hours. I didn't realize how much I
had to do. My progress reports were detailed, knowing they would be sent
to the parents and top administration. I wanted to find things that each
particular child could work on and what they were excelling at. It was
probably too detailed, but these kids were my life and I wanted them to
succeed.
I keep ordering more tea and pastries, knowing that it wouldn't be good
enough fuel for my workout tonight. I might skip it tonight, my body still a
little sore from Harry and I's night together.
Finally, I decided to pack up and head home. I took all my garbage and
dirty plates to the wait station, and thanked the staff for letting me stay so
long. Packing up my laptop and reports I walked outside only to run straight
into someone.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I apologize quickly, looking up to see a surprised
Harry.
His hands felt good on my biceps as he held them tight so I didn't topple
over. We were close, too close as Mike was standing right beside him, an
amused look on his face.
"Emma! Didn't expect you to still be here!" Mike exclaims.
"Uh, yeah, I didn't think my work would take that long..." I tell them,
fidgeting as Harry still hasn't said anything.
"Want to walk with us? We were just on our way to the bar." Mike
suggests.
I hesitate to answer, "You know, I really shouldn't. I've got all my stuff,
and I'm not even dressed appro-"
He waves his hand dismissively, "Like we care about that. C'mon, right
this way."
I freeze, probably looking like a deer in the headlights. I wasn't prepared
for this. I looked awful, no makeup, my hair up in a messy bun that
definitely didn't look cute. I was wearing a pair of leggings and an over-
sized sweatshirt I borrowed from Harry this morning. He thought I looked
cute when I left his place, but the thought of meeting new people, ones who
meant a lot to him, looking like this was very stressful. I could feel my
anxiety peeking. I also had my bulky tote bag that had papers sticking out
of it. I looked a right old mess.
"C'mon, Emma. It'll be fine." My head snaps up when Harry invited me,
his low voice making it sound more soothing than he probably meant it.
Mike was looking at us expectantly, but I was trying to read Harry. He
looked impassive, like it didn't really matter to him. I studied him, in a way
asking if he was sure. He nodded his head toward Mike as if to say "get a
move on".
"Well, uh... okay, if you're sure." I say in a small voice, following Mike
down the sidewalk.
"Emma, you can stop acting like you're some big burden." Mike laughs,
"I already know you'll fit in super well with everyone."
I clear my throat, "Sorry, I just- well, I don't meet a lot of new people."
I struggle a bit with my bag on my shoulder while we continue our walk.
I'm surprised when Harry decides to take it from me, and hoists it over his
shoulder. Mike walks ahead a bit as he takes a phone call, leaving Harry
and I in uncomfortable silence.
"You look like we're walking you to your death. It'll be fine." Harry say
quietly to me.
I look up at him, "I can still find an excuse to leave if you don't want me
here."
His face scrunches up in confusion, "What? I don't have a problem with
you coming."
"You don't?" I ask now confused by his actions.
"No, it's perfectly fine. Rule number eight, Emma."
"Oh, well, you just seem so... I don't know, like you don't want me here."
I tell him honestly, remembering rule six.
He frowns deeply, "I'm not trying to come off as that. I'm sorry, I just
figured I should act like I don't know you very well."
I feel a bit relieved by his explanation, "Okay." I say simple before taking
a deep breath and asking, "Is there a certain way I should act or-"
He laughs, "Emma, just be yourself. Mike was right when he said you
would fit in with us. Just chill, angel."
I nod my head, still uncertain about all this. I just wasn't that good at
meeting new people. I've always had a tough time being comfortable in
social situations ever since high school. I had been bullied a lot, and when I
went to college I stuck to myself, only making friends here and there, never
forming a group. The only group of people I had ever hung out with was
Jake's friends, and that had taken me months to get comfortable around
them. Like close to six months to even bring up a topic of conversation by
myself.
When we entered the pub, I saw Mike a little ways ahead of us still
talking on the phone. Harry pointed to his friends in a booth near the
window, the same one I had served them at. There were three girls and a
guy sitting down, all of them good-looking and incredibly intimidating.
"Hey, guys, this is Emma." Harry starts introducing me to his friends,
"She works out at the gym with us."
"Right! Mike said you were coming tonight." Said the girl on the end.
She was very tan with big brown eyes, and perfectly done curly hair. "I'm
Naomi, Mike's wife."
She stuck out her hand for me to take. I smile at her, "Hi, nice to meet
you."
 "I'm Maura." The super skinny, model-looking, woman to her right
introduced herself. She was stunning with her long flowing hair, and she
also looked powerful. She was wearing a striking pantsuit with shoulder
pads. I was definitely underdressed.
"I love your suit." I tell her earnestly, swallowing my nerves down.
She beamed at me, "Thank you! Some people said it was too loud." She
said pointedly at the boy next to her.
He shrugged, "That pattern's an eyesore." He turns to me, "Oliver. Emma,
you said?"
"Yeah," I take his hand, and I see a quick glance behind me to Harry. I try
and hide my flushed cheeks, knowing this was Harry's one person. "Nice to
meet you."
"Weren't you our server on Halloween?" The girl sitting next to him
asked. She was cute and a little edgy looking. Her hair was clearly bleached
and died a cool shade of lavender. Her faux leather motorcycle jacket had
patches all over it, a worn out band shirt underneath.
I smiled, my face reddening again, "Yeah, I was filling in for one of my
old coworkers."
"Luanne. I'm Harry's sister. You look so different dressed down." She
points out.
I laugh, "Yeah, well that was an old costume from my younger years.
Surprised it still fit." I joked.
"You looked hot. Wish I could pull that off." Naomi told me, "Come sit
here." She patted the seat next to her.
I sat down next to her, soothed slightly by her kind smile. They all
seemed so nice, but I felt like a bit of a specimen while all their eyes studied
me. I got the feeling they didn't invite a lot of new people into their circle.
"Here." Harry said lowly as he set my bag down next to me, and went to
sit down next to his sister.
"What a gentleman." Luanne teases.
He rolls his eyes and nudges her with his elbow, Mike joining us right
after. As he settles into the seat next to Harry. "Ah, I see you've met my
completely real and non-imaginary wife."
I try to hold back my smile, as I raise my eyebrows at him. Harry
chuckles, and I hear Naomi say next to me, "Huh?"
I looked over at her, my hands fidgeting in my lap, "Yeah, for about two
months I was convinced you weren't real, and he was just making it all up."
 A large smile appeared on her face as the rest of the table started
laughing. Maura spoke up, "Mike would be the type to do that."
He holds his hands up in offense, "You guys are all just jealous that I
found my Prince Charming, and you haven't."
I laugh at his choice of words, and watch as everyone volleys back jokes
and teases each other. I just sit back and try to relax, only speaking up when
I order my drink. It's easy to see how comfortable and close everyone is. I
pick up little things here and there, like Luanne and Oliver sitting closer
than any of the rest of us, anytime their arms graze small smiles cross their
faces. I notice Maura is big and bold, never one to quiet her loud laugh, or
speak at a normal volume. Mike and Harry keeping the flow of
conversation up, changing subjects and asking questions.
I get the feeling that Harry is trying to keep the conversation off me. I
think he's trying to make me comfortable with the situation, letting me learn
more about everyone before they start hounding me. I can feel it coming,
almost as if there's this feeling surrounding the table. I see Luanne watching
my reactions to jokes and topics, while Harry and Oliver are obviously
texting back and forth.
But it was Maura who broke the invisible wall around me, making me the
center of attention.
"So, Emma, what do you do?"
I gulp down the rest of my cocktail, nodding when our server gestured
for another one when she passed the table. "Um, I'm a teacher just down the
road."
"The elementary school?" Luanne asked, leaning onto the table looking
interested.
"Yeah, I teach second grade." I answer.
She raises her eyebrows at this, "Wow, you must have the patience of a
saint."
"You should see her at the gym." Mike intercepts, "She's constantly
fending off man-whores who try and teach her how to properly use the
machines. I've never seen someone with so much patience."
I roll my eyes at that, but Luanne speaks before I get a chance, "Oh god,
that sounds terrible. Number one reason I don't go to the gym is because the
meatheads."
Harry snorts, "You don't go to the gym, because you haven't got an
athletic bone in your body."
 Oliver coughs over a laugh, but still earns himself a death glare from
Luanne.
"What do you do Luanne? I've got the gist of everyone else's jobs, but..."
I trail off, waiting for her to answer.
"Oh, I'm a freelance writer, but lately I've been writing some articles
specifically for Rolling Stone." She answers like it isn't a big deal.
My jaw drops, "No shit." The table laughs at my reaction, probably not
expecting the curse word to come out. "Sorry, that's just really cool. What
articles have you written? Maybe I've read some."
I spend the next thirty minutes grilling Harry's sister about her
experiences interviewing minor celebs and other reporting she's done. I find
it all very fascinating, and I can tell she's enjoying talking about it.
Everyone has started their own little conversations, more drinks coming to
the table. I know I should probably stop drinking, considering I have to
drive home, and I'm also afraid I'll say something really stupid in front of
everyone.
When Luanne got distracted by Oliver, I sat back against the booth and
looked around the table. Harry's eyes caught mine for a second, a flash of
something in them while his face remained neutral.
Now that Harry and I had spent time together outside of our sex bubble,
it made things a million times more clear to me. It was clear that Harry and
I were just as we stated: new friends exploring each other's bodies. I had
thought for a moment that there might actually have been some meaning
behind his words when we were in private, and that made me nervous. The
way he touched me after sex, the fondness in his eyes when we woke up
and got ready together. All that I had probably distorted in my head for
something it wasn't.
He had barely looked at me since we sat down. Hasn't tried to talk to me.
No secret texts. Which was fine. I had meant it when I said I wanted us to
be no strings attached, but there was a part of me that liked the idea of
Harry falling for me. Pining for me like some Jane Austen novel.
Sadly I was a pathetic romantic, something Jake had constantly made fun
of me for when I tried to do something special for us. I wanted to turn over
a new leaf. One where I thought logically instead of solely with my heart.
Harry was the start of that. I reminded myself of the guy who slept around,
letting girls down when he said he wasn't interested in anything. It was the
same with me. The only reason he wanted to keep fucking me was because
I shared some common kinks with him that he hasn't been able to explore
with his one-night-stands.
We were nothing but friends at this point. Exactly how it should be.
"You seem more relaxed than before."
I turn my head to see Naomi staring at me.
"Oh, yeah, I guess I am." I answer unsurely.
She chuckles lightly, "You're a naturally shy person, aren't you?"
I glanced around quickly, noticing no one was paying attention to our
conversation, relieving me. I nod and pay attention to the girl beside me,
"I've never been particularly good in social situations like this. Meeting new
people is... well, it gives me a lot of anxiety."
"I understand." She assures me, "You should've meet me back in the day.
I used to clam up talking to anyone."
This peaked my interest, "What changed?"
"Honestly?" She starts, "I met Mike. We met senior year in uni. We were
both taking some random class for our elective credit or something, and I
noticed how out there he was. I watched him for weeks as he would talk to
anyone and everyone. Finally, he noticed my staring and came up to talk to
me. I barely said more than three words at a time, but he tells me that he's
never been more charmed by anxious mumbling."
I laugh, "That's really cute."
"He calls me Prince Charming, but he's really the charming one. Can talk
anyone into doing anything." She tells me.
"Believe me, I know."
She grins widely, "Just know there's no judgement here. All of us are
strays that Harry and Luanne have picked up throughout the years. Each of
us has been the new one in the group, and it's always intimidating."
"Well, I'm definitely a mutt if there ever was one." I joke.
Naomi laughs generously, "I think you fit right in if it's any consolation.
Everyone loves you already."
My face warms, "What? I haven't even done anything."
"Oh please, you won Maura over with the compliment with her suit. She
loves to take chances with fashion, but sometimes she can get a bit insecure
about things. Mike's head over heels for you, that's obvious. You raving
about that article Luanne wrote about how the music industry has changed
since the turn of the century really did her in. Oliver... well, you'll learn that
Oliver is very honest. Almost too honest, so you would know if he didn't
approve of you. Harry's harder to read, always likes to keep his thoughts to
himself, but he carried your bag for you, so that's a good sign!" She finishes
triumphantly, looking at me as if to challenge her breakdown.
I couldn't help the large smile on my face, "Thank you. That means a lot.
I've been told I'm not everyone's cup of tea and had friends say they thought
I was a snob when they first met me since I'm so quiet, so it's nice to hear
kind things."
I don't know if that's the alcohol finally in affect, or if Naomi just makes
me feel super comfortable. I would normally never be that open and honest
with someone so soon. I've only known her for an hour and a half, and yet I
had admitted some of my deepest insecurities.
"Oi! Don't know who would say that 'bout you!" Maura interrupts, her
Irish accent even more poignant with the alcohol swirling around in her
system. I shrink a bit at the fact that everyone's attention was now on us.
"You're cute as a button! So nice. Please tell me you don't hang out with
those people anymore, babe."
"Wha- uh, no. No, I don't." I stutter.
"What's this about?" Mike asks, confused.
I can see a guilty expression form on Naomi's face. She probably knows
better than anyone how uncomfortable this is for me.
Maura answers him loudly, "She just said she's not everyone's cup of tea,
and that some of her friends had said she was a snob when they first met!
Just cause you're a bit shy, and prefer to listen than speak up doesn't mean
that. Babe, you need some new friends. Just start hanging out with us. We'll
get your confidence right up!"
"Yeah, why don't you come to brunch with us on Sunday? We always
have a girls day once a month, so we can get rid of these losers." Luanne
says.
"I take offense to that." Oliver huffs, but cracks a smile when Luanne
shrugs and steals a few of his chips.
"That's a great idea!" Naomi exclaims, "Please come, Emma! You can
choose the restaurant we go to and everything." Her wide eyes peering into
my soul, melting my resolve.
"Uh..." I hesitate. This wasn't what I wanted. Fuck, why couldn't they all
be awful people that I never wanted to see again. They were all just so nice.
Luanne was so smart and confident in herself, Maura, while loud, had an
infectious personality, and Naomi was one of the most genuine people I've
ever met. They couldn't be my friends, because they would choose Harry in
the end, and I needed people who would choose me for once. I looked at
Harry, our eyes truly meeting for the first time since we got here. I couldn't
read him. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I think he would be the
type to see this as a red flag.
Ignoring all that, I said, "Well... okay. That sounds fun."
There were some loud cheers, making me blush. No one's ever been so
excited that I agreed to hang out with them. They were all so full of life that
it was contagious. I found myself laughing with them, pointing at Naomi
and exclaiming, "It was your damn puppy dog eyes. How is anyone
supposed to say no to that!"
She smiles widely, and it's her husband that answers, "Why do you think
I feel in love with her!"
Chapter Fifteen

HARRY
It was hard to not look at her.
It was hard not to speak to her.
My hands were itching, desperate to touch her.
Today had felt like a whirlwind. I had begun it in bliss, waking up with
Emma's lips pecking up and down my chest. Her hands groped and caressed
my naked body, and I moaned out in ecstasy as she took her time playing
with my nipple. All four of them. She teased and nipped, and I had never
had anyone pay attention to them like she did.
I learned that I absolutely loved having her play with my nipples, so
much that I flipped her over, stood from the bed, and tossed her over my
shoulder to fuck her in the shower. It was just like our first time, her
clinging to my body like a koala, and me not lasting near long enough. I
was lucky the angle was so good, or I was convinced that I would've nutted
off too soon for her to get off.
Then after we said goodbye, not happy that I wouldn't see her until
Saturday night, I saw her in my favorite little coffee shop, working up a
storm with papers scattered all across the table in front of her. My heart
clenched as I saw she was still in my sweatshirt, and I couldn't stop myself
from talking to her.
But then Mike had to see us.
I knew what he was trying to do. Even though I had told him I was taking
some me time, he was trying to set us up. And I wasn't even that mad. Of
course I wanted to spend more time with Emma, especially when she was
looking so cute in my hoodie and no makeup, but I could see how
uncomfortable the idea of meeting my friends made her.
So I hid the hope in my eyes, but the more Mike insisted the more I knew
it was a losing battle. For her. Mike roped everyone into everything. He was
just that charming.
I didn't like seeing how nervous and unsure of herself she was around
everyone. I didn't like seeing her sink into the booth and fidget with her
hands. I knew she was probably tapping her knee like crazy, a tick I've
noticed about her when she gets too in her head.
I kept the conversation off her in hopes that she would relax and see that
my friends were nice and easy to get along with. She started to relax as she
talked to Luanne, completely immersed in my sisters job, and I also saw
how much it meant to Lu to hear such good praise about her work.
The genuine smile on her face made me relax as well. I let her settle in
more, talking to Naomi quietly. Naomi was the perfect person to sit next to.
She was very motherly in the sense that she liked people to feel comfortable
and she liked to listen. But then Maura and her big mouth made Emma the
center of attention. I love her to death, but I had never wanted to punt
someone across the room more in that moment.
And then I felt angry. I couldn't believe that anyone would say that
Emma wasn't everyone's cup of tea. She was the most innocent and kind
woman I've ever met. Just because she was quiet in big groups doesn't mean
she was unlikable or a snob. And what type of friend would say that they
thought she was one all because she didn't talk much. Sure, I would
definitely tease Oliver or Mike about what my first impression of them was,
but they weren't Emma.
Emma was sensitive and a little self-conscious. Never in a million years
would I say anything like that to her, knowing she would take it so
personally, and I've only really known her for two weeks.
I hoped Emma was okay with all this. I hope she knew Maura didn't
mean to air out her private conversation with Naomi. I hope she wasn't
overthinking this, and would accept them as her friends. It was obvious she
needed better people around her. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard her
talk about anyone other than that neighbor she makes dinner every Sunday
night for. I guess I've also seen her with Maggie a few times at the gym, but
Maggie's constantly traveling and is so busy with the gym that she probably
didn't see Emma all that often.
I wanted to know who Emma's people are. I wanted to make sure she had
a support system surrounding her. And I really wanted to know which
assholes were the ones who cared so little about her to say such insensitive
things.
 "Did you know koalas have split-dicks?" Emma blurts out.
I'm certain she's just trying to distract everyone from the awkwardness
that was drunk Maura yelling about her terrible friends. It did the trick,
though, the fact throwing everyone off. I couldn't help but laugh at how
random it was, earning me an appreciative glint in her pretty blue eyes.
"Uhhhhhh, what?" Mike asks.
She nods feverishly, "Yeah, male koala's have split dicks while females
have dual vaginas."
"Why?" Lu asks, almost to herself.
Emma shrugs, "Don't know that, but I do know they also are very
perceptible to chlamydia."
Oliver smirks, "How do you know so much about koala's? Or are they
your favorite animal?"
"Oh, no, that would be black panthers. We have computer classes for the
kids, and part of it is learning how to do basic research, so I assign them
each an animal, and since I have to grade them all I get useless facts stuck
in my head all the time." She says as she sips the rest of her cocktail.
"I don't think these are useless at all!" Maura says, "These are great
icebreakers!"
"So a second grader told you that koalas have two penises?" Naomi asks.
At this Emma cringes, "Well, it was my first year, and I hadn't set all the
guidelines, and I didn't think something as harmless as a koala would be
inappropriate for a seven year old to learn about. Now I'm a bit more
careful, and I have questions assigned instead of being an open forum type
of thing, but the koala report definitely stuck in my mind."
She looked so cute as she explained this. It was like the tension
disappeared in her the moment she was talking about something she was
confident in, even if it was random animal facts.
"What other animal facts do you have up your sleeve?" Oliver asks
curiously.
"Um... well, did you know a rhino's horn is made of hair?"
And it went on for another hour, Emma offering up a fun fact about a
random animal and everyone discussing it. It was actually the most fun
we've had in a while. It was nice not to talk about work or our normal daily
lives. Just a random topic keeping us preoccupied and weirdly - childishly -
excited.
 I knew my friends were falling for her. She got more comfortable,
laughing and dropping jokes here and there. It didn't surprise me. Emma
was so god damn likable it was almost annoying, and she added something
to our group of friends that we didn't have. I could see her joining us
regularly every Friday night, and I hoped she enjoyed Sunday brunch with
the girls enough to want to keep hanging out with us.
We were definitely crossing a line. This was all too familiar and intimate
to truly just be friends with benefits, but, let's be real, we had crossed that
line many times. We were too affectionate, too honest, and too caring. It's
like she had blinders on, though, like she didn't want to believe this could
mean anything to me, and I would ride that out until she was ready. She
would run for the hills if this got too serious, or she felt like I was
developing feelings for her. I knew I needed to stay somewhat at arms
length from her, but it was so damn hard.
It was about that time that everyone started heading home. Mike had
taken the subway to work, so he would be going home with Naomi, of
course. Mike smiled as he suggested that I walk Emma to her car, so I made
it seem like it was no big deal, checking with her to make sure she was
"comfortable".
I could see her holding back an amused smile. Her attention gets turned
to the girls when she exchanges phone numbers with Naomi, and solidify
their brunch plans. Excitement and happiness rang across her features. She
was standing up straighter and looking people in their eyes, all things I had
been privy to. All things that I had no clue she had a hard time doing until
today.
When we turned the corner, my friends out of sight, I stepped closer to
her, and smiled. "Did you have fun?"
She looked up at me, the cold making the tip of her nose red, "Yeah!
Your friends are all really nice."
"Eh, they're alright." She hip checked me, a loud boisterous laugh leaving
me, "I'm glad you got along with them."
"Ugh, that was so nerve wracking." She admits.
I smile down at her, "You know it's so weird seeing you so nervous. I'm
just used to you being so confident when we're together."
She shrugs, "Just always got really anxious meeting new people. Ever
since I was a kid."
 I wonder why this was. She doesn't seem like the type to be this shy. I
press further, "Why is that?"
Her brows furrow at me, and I can see her formulating an answer.
Finally, all I got was a shrug and change of topic, "You don't need to walk
me back to my car. It's still parked at the school, and I know you're
probably parked in the garage a block up."
Her rejection of my intrigue stung a bit, but I hid the fact well, "Do you
want to stay the night again?"
She stopped walking and blinked up at me, "Uh, don't you think that
might be a bit much?"
"What do you mean?" I ask her confused by her sudden coldness.
"Well, we were together last night and this morning, and I just hung out
with you and your friends..." I just stared at her as she waited for me to
understand what she was saying, "I feel like this is a lot."
"Have you not enjoyed spending time together?" I boldly asked, heart
racing a bit at the fact that she already seems to be so flighty, and we've
only been doing this for a few weeks.
"No, it's not that." She says quickly, "I don't know, doesn't this seem a
little... um..."
"A little what?" I asked her in faux confusion. I knew exactly what was
making her so hesitant. Meeting my friends had made her realize just how
different this is than a regular fuck buddy relationship.
I held back a wince as I saw how anxious she had suddenly gotten. I
didn't like where this was going at all. This could easily end things between
us, which made my blood go cold. I didn't want this to end. I was nowhere
near ready, physically or emotionally.
"Uh... Never mind. Sorry, I think I'm just overthinking things." She says
as she looks down. Something in her tone made me want to wrap her up in
my arms and protect her from the world. She almost sounded defeated, but I
couldn't figure out why.
"It's okay." I tell her at a loss for words at the change in her demeanor
again. It has gone from nervous to confident and happy to anxious and now
to beaten down.
What I would give to hear her inner monologue.
"Is your offer still on the table?" She asks, surprising me.
I nod right away, "Of course. I asked you, didn't I." I tease, stepping close
and nudging her with my elbow as my hands were shoved in the pockets of
my overcoat.
She breathed out a laugh, "Alright, C'mon. Lead the way. I'm freezing."
I could see through her half-hearted tease. She still had that sadness in
her eyes, and now I had come to realize it was the most common expression
she had. It's like her face rested like that, which broke my heart. Before I
knew her and had gotten close to her in certain ways, I wouldn't have been
able to pick out the emotion she was always feeling, but now the thought of
her always having sadness at the forefront was... well, it was painful.
I didn't like how painful it was. I didn't like the feeling it gave me in my
heart and in the pit of my stomach. It had been so long since I had felt
anything, and now it was washing over me in such a violent way I almost
couldn't breathe sometimes. I didn't know what to do about my feelings.
One moment I was falling hard and fast and I was happy to do so, and the
next I would be desperate to pull back, seeing how easy it would be for her
to break me.
The worst part is I genuinely couldn't tell how Emma felt about me. She
wore her heart on her sleeve and yet I couldn't read her.
There were moments - usually after sex - where I would get to experience
the caring and loving side of her. The soft touches, the trust she so easily
hands me...
Then there were moments during sex that I would see her needy side and
how much she enjoyed what we were doing. A hidden temptress, confident
and full of spunk.
But when we weren't physical or coming down from it I got a funny,
easy-going side of her. One that could genuinely be my friend when I
needed her. That would listen and give me advice and know how to make
me feel better.
Tonight was the first time I had gotten a glimpse at the Emma who
overthinks things and doesn't believe in herself and keeps me at arm's
length. The one that knows deep down that this could be absolutely
disastrous for us.
†††
Hours later, covered in a thin layer of sweat, we were laying on my bed.
Our clothes were somewhere downstairs, torn off the moment she had
whispered in my ear how badly she wanted me to fuck her from behind and
spank her plump, perfect ass. We hadn't even made it to the bed, in fact we
didn't even make it out of my front hallway, before she turned herself away
and placed her hands wide on the wall, wiggling her butt at me.
In no time I was hard and thrusting into her. And she was begging me to
go harder, both with my cock and my hand. I slammed into her, keeping her
up with one hand while the other spanked her until she was red.
I was careful to watch her reaction from it all, in case I was being too
rough with her, but every sound and movement she made made me believe
she loved it. I felt like I could go forever, her breathy praises and pleasure-
filled shrieks fueling me.
After we finished, she had gone back to her normal self. The Emma that
she was with me in the privacy of my home. The nerves and anxiety were
lifted, melted away by her climax. Her eyes were bright blue and gleaming
at me as I chased her naked up the stairs.
There was a calmness now between us, a striking difference to how we
were only moments earlier, play wrestling and tickling leading to another
ravenous round. It was insane to see how easily she got me hard, but she
looked absolutely delectable as she squirmed and laughed and I couldn't
help myself.
Her bum was still sore from earlier, so she rode me, starting off with the
most sensual and sexy roll of her hips, literally riding me as if I was a bull.
Her hands gilded and caressed her breasts and hair and down her stomach
until she was touching herself.
And then she was crashing to my chest, crying out as I took hold of her
hips and drove into her rapidly and roughly. I was sure to have bite marks
on my shoulder where she was holding in her scream, and I couldn't wait to
see it.
Now calming down from two orgasms, she was laying on her stomach,
feet kicked up in the air, and watching me silently as I rubbed some
soothing lotion over both her cheeks. I was laying beside her, my hand as
gentle as I could be, massaging the cream into her skin. The view itself was
enough to keep me mesmerized, the way she jiggled slightly as I first
started lathering the lotion into her, the cream sticking a bit. She was so
soft, so pretty, her bum toned from her workouts, but soft as a pillow at the
same time.
I weirdly wanted to lay my head on it and fall asleep.
But it was also giving me ideas of all the things she would let me do to
her. How badly I wanted see a plug sticking out of her as I took her from
behind. How she would react to my tongue playing with her rim, or my
fingers all lubed up.
"Harry, I think you're good back there." She giggles.
The sound makes me smile. I'm glad she's back to her normal self, and
not worrying about what other people think of her. I still didn't quite
understand where all that anxiety came from, whether something happened
to her or she truly just was always so shy.
I reluctantly pull my hand away from her ass, and scoot back up to her.
Instead of doing what I wanted - pulling her into my body and playing with
her hair - I laid on my back, hands behind my head. I felt completely
comfortable naked around her, not that I had ever been nervous around any
girl, but I was soft right now, spent from my two orgasms, and not even
thinking about it.
I had never just laid around uncovered with someone before. Mostly I
would leave after sex, but even with my ex I had always at least put my
underwear back on. Carla had never been one for walking around in the
nude, and we were still so young back in the day that I doubt either of us
were completely comfortable in our own skin.
"Are you a boobs or butt kind of guy?" She asks out of nowhere.
I laugh and turn to look at her absolutely amused by her question,
"Please, whatever you do don't make me choose." I joke.
She breathes out a laugh and buries her face into the crook of her elbow
for a second. When she comes back up, she looks at me, resting her cheek
on her arm. "I really thought you were a boob guy, but you were staring at
my ass like it was the holy grail."
The grin on my face almost hurt it was so wide. "I'm an equal
opportunist, angel. Love them both very much. I guess it just depends on
my mood."
She hums and closes her eyes looking more relaxed than I've ever seen
her. Maybe I could ask her now. We weren't cuddling. We weren't even that
close to each other like we were normally. This wouldn't paint a picture of
domesticity in her mind if I probed her more about today.
"You know, angel, it's times like these where we're laying here after two
rounds of sex: the first you telling me to spank you harder, the second
having you play with yourself as you rode me - driving me absolutely crazy,
by the way - that I find it so hard to believe how shy you were today when
you met my friends." I say as nonchalantly as possible.
 She hums again, eyes still closed, "It's different with you. Never have to
worry about what you think of me, because you tell me. With everyone
else... it's just different. Never been good with people in general."
"Well, you were great with my friends. I know you brushed it off earlier,
but they really liked you. Believe me, you wouldn't be going to brunch with
the girls on Sunday if they hated you." I tell her sincerely.
"That was really sweet of them." She muttered.
I watch her as she lays next to me, steady breathing, in a half-sleep state.
Even then I could see it meant a lot to her to be invited.
"What are your friends like?" I ask her.
She takes a moment to answer, "Just Millie and Maggie, really. You
know Maggie a bit... Millie's a few years younger than us, and is very
outgoing. Very honest, too. I like that about her, and you too. I appreciate
honesty. Had too many friends who lied or were just fake."
I frown, "The same ones who spouted that bullshit about you being
snobby or some shit?"
Emma sighs out, but stays resting on her arm, "Yeah, they weren't the
best."
I didn't say anything for a moment, not sure whether I should push it, but
I was too damn curious. "Were they with that guy on Halloween. Your ex?"
She frowned, and scrunched up her face, "Hmpf, yeah, Jake..."
"He seems like an ass." I tell her, remembering the anger and
possessiveness he displayed that night.
She smiles and laughs breathily at my comment. "You have no idea."
I didn't like the sound of that, and I was glad that Emma had her eyes
shut so she didn't see my expression, "I'm guessing his friends are along the
same line?"
"Yeah, the girls were always a bit judgemental. Took me a while to get
them to like me... I was never successful with the guys, though." She says
mindlessly, finally laying her legs down, and grasping for a pillow to pull
under her head.
"Probably just jealous they didn't get to fuck you."
A loud laugh escaped her, "Yeah, right. They just didn't like me."
I roll my eyes at this. She really has no idea how appealing she is.
"Angel, why do you think you get hit on at the gym so much?"
At this she peeked an eyes open at me suspiciously, "I don't know. Isn't
that a thing that gym rats do?"
 I chuckled, "I mean, some, I guess, but they hit on you because you're
unbelievably sexy. I can guarantee his friends were picturing you naked the
entire time."
I smile at her grimace, but then she rolls her eyes at me, now fully
looking at me, "I think you're delusional."
I raise my eyebrows at her, and challenged, "No, you just don't see
yourself properly."
"I do." She says quickly, her face reddening, "I just think your brain is
clouded by the multiple orgasms."
"Don't tell me you don't think that I think you're sexy?"
"I mean, uh-" She struggles to answer.
"Emma, you've got to be kidding me. You are the sexiest woman I've
ever met." I tell her, turning my body towards her, and grazing my
fingertips lightly up and down her spine.
"Harry, just because you're fucking me doesn't mean you have to talk me
up." She tells me, and I can see her embarrassment and self-consciousness
rear its ugly head.
I stare at her for a long moment before saying lowly, "It means just that,
angel. You told me that you're comfortable around me because I always let
you know how I feel, so how 'bout this: You laying in my bed like this,
completely naked, ass still red from my hand, is driving me fucking crazy.
You're the only woman ever to give me two orgasms in one night." My
hand had drifted down to her butt cheek - the less raw one - and groped it
lewdly. She squeaked out as my thumb sneaked in-between and dusted over
her hole. I smirk at her, "It took me only ten minutes for you to get me hard
a second time, because your tits were bouncing and your skin was
glowing."
"Harry..." She says warningly.
I bite my lip, and move swiftly. I flip her over on her back and straddle
her legs. I can see the excitement in her eyes, but I also see how soft she is.
How my words are truly effecting her.
"God, you have no idea... Drives me crazy..." I dip my head so I can
nuzzle my nose against her hip bone. She lets out a long breath, "Soft skin
just begging to bit touched." I nip and suck a dark spot in a place that only
we will see. My eyes flashed to hers, "Curves that make my mouth water,
and practically drool over when you're so focused on your workout. Don't
even realize all of the compromising positions you're doing in front of me,
angel. Such a tease." I tut.
"Fuck..." She breathes out as my tongue flattens and licks up the middle
of her stomach, in-between her breasts and to the hollow of her neck. The
tiniest whine escapes her as she opens her neck up to my lips, and I almost
shove my half-hard cock inside her so she can feel me grow, but I hold back
a little longer.
I sit up straight and look down at her, chest rising and lowering fast, lips
parted as she stares back up at me. My hands squeeze her hips and tickle up
her sides and stomach, making her squirm, and her hands fly down to grip
onto my legs.
My fingertips ghost over the swell of her full breasts, circle around the
edges of her pebbled nipples. "You've got every asset, angel. Not only is
your ass delectable, but your breasts..." I groan as I cup them and start to
jiggle them. A small giggle leaves her lips, making me crack a smile. "It's
like they're made just for me, right? Fit my hands so perfectly. Perky and
full." I bend down and blow on her nipple.
She keens and arches her back. Her nipple comes dangerously close to
my mouth, and I can't stop myself from taking the budded tip between my
teeth and pulling back.
"You're so sensitive, angel, always moaning and whimpering. Really
aides my ego. Any guy would kill for their girl to respond this way to their
mouth..." I flick her nipple as I push her back down flat on the mattress,
"Hell, I'm just talking to you and I can practically smell your arousal."
I finally wrap my lips around her perky nipple and ravage it, pinching at
her other one, and just as I had said I get an immediate response. Her hands
claw up my back, and I moan at the feeling, missing her scratch marks from
my body.
I don't stop with my tongue and my lips until she bucking up towards my
hips. I graze my lips up her skin, crawling higher on her body, moving my
legs in-between hers. I breathe heavily, not believing that this woman has
really made me hard again. It's like she's got magic powers, rejuvenating
me with her body and perfect, carnal mewls.
I nip at her jaw, and fist her hair, pulling her head to the side, so I can
speak directly into her ear, "Well, look at that, angel," I tease her as I push
my hips down to hers so she can see how thick and hard she made me,
"made me so fucking hard. Got me a third time, didn't you?"
 She spreads her legs wider so I can fit more comfortably, and with the
smallest motion of my hips I can feel her coat my cock with her juices.
"Fuck," I breathe out, tongue tracing up her lobe, "Can feel you... How
you can possibly think you're not sexy when you've got me like this? Want
my mouth to be on every inch of you all the time... Couldn't even decide if I
wanted to eat you out over and over until your begging me to stop or fuck
you so hard with my aching, throbbing cock that I have you screaming out
in ecstasy."
"Harry..." She mumbles again, and I'm excited when I hear that familiar
dazed tone. I tilt her face back to mine, and I feel my dick twitch when I
realize I've got her in her subspace again. "Harry, kiss me." She whines.
She tries to lift up and capture my lips with hers, but I back away to tease
her, "Hmm, almost forgot your lips, angel..."
She whines again, trying to catch my lips once more, so I tighten my hold
on her hair, and pull her back to the mattress. "Don't be greedy... Do you
want to hear about how much I adore your lips?"
She nods her head mindlessly, muttering out a "Please", making my heart
melt. Even in this state she's listening to me so intently, taking in my
affirmations so greedily.
"Jus' look at 'em." I practically slur as I focus in on them, absentmindedly
rubbing my cock "So plush and red. Full and meant to wrap around me.
Maybe one day I'll take a picture of you suckling on my head... Show you
how they're truly meant to be. Show you proof that you're the sexiest..." I
shuffle a bit to place my tip at her soaked entrance, "most delicious..." I
slowly push into her, gasping a bit at how tight she feels, "most sought after
woman I've ever encountered."
I pull out and snap my hips back to hers. She moans my name. I curse
silently and roughly say, "No wonder so many guys are trying to fuck you.
Bet they can just imagine how pretty your voice sounds as you moan their
name." I slam down harder, pulling out slowly, causing her to keen, "But
I'm the lucky bastard that gets you, right? I'm the only name you're
moaning. I'm the only cock you get wet for. Right, angel?"
She's nodding her head, "Only you."
I can't hold myself back anymore. My lips crash into hers and we share
the dirtiest kiss I've ever experienced. I quicken my rhythm, keeping my
thrusts hard. I'm surprised we can keep our embrace with how amazing I
know we both feel with me inside her. I feel more sensitive, and she feels
desperate wrapped around me.
Her lips feel so needy, never letting me leave hers for too long. It's
dizzying as I gasp for air, but delve my tongue into her mouth to caress
hers. My arms hook around her knees to pull them up, creating a different
angle. She gasps and stutters out a high pitched moan against my mouth,
but surges forward to make me crash into her. I'm almost worried I'm
crushing her, but she pulls me tighter to her body, her hips rolling against
mine.
I speed up, and she finally lets me breath, her head thrown into the pillow
underneath her. I'm breathless and so close to cumming inside her now
pulsating pussy, but I'm not done with her just yet.
Her head moves to the side, face scrunched up in pleasure. I lay my
forehead on her temple, and say, "You want to cum, angel?"
"Yes." She whines, "Please, please, I need it."
"Say it."
"Make me cu-"
"No," I interrupt her, "admit you're sexy. That you're every man's wet
dream."
I can see her trying to resist, the sliver of her conscious holding her back.
I growl into her ear, "So stubborn. You want to cum, yeah? Maybe I'll
just get off and leave you hot and wet and-"
"No, no, no, need to cum, baby."
"You know what I want to hear. Gotta know you believe me when I say
it." I nip at her jaw, keeping us both edging even though our bodies are
practically vibrating with need.
"I'm sexy. I'm sexy." She breathes out.
"And?" I taunt.
"I'm every man's... fuck, every man's wet dream." She whispers.
"Yes, you are, angel." I coo in her ear, lifting her hips off the mattress,
body burning and aching from the three separate workouts we've done.
Within seconds we're both drowning in our orgasms, faces just inches
away from each other the whole time. As I shutter against her, cock burning
and pulsing inside her, I collapse on top of her and breathe into her neck.
She's muttering praises and thank you's to me in her dazed state. It takes
her a while to come back to me. Not until after I had shakily cleaned her up
and laid her body half on top of me, under the covers, fingers grazing her
spine.
It's the smallest peck against my neck, dragging my attention away from
my phone. It had been well over ten minutes of her in her space, and when I
look down at her she's smiling up at me looking so fucked, face still
flushed, and whispers,
"Thank you."
Chapter Sixteen

EMMA
"Do anything fun yesterday?" Naomi asks me when she pulls out of the
parking lot of my apartment building.
I refuse to look over at her, my face warm, and I'm sure very red, at just
the thought of the copious amount of sex I had with one of her best friends.
"Oh, nothing really... Just cleaned my house up a bit and watched terrible
reality tv." I answer her.
"Which shows? I'm a big fan of trashy tv." She tells me with a bright
smile.
The rest of the way to the restaurant, Naomi and I go back and forth
about the best reality stars and how much we love Love Island. It was easy
talking with her, and nice knowing she understood what it was going to be
like for me to be out with her and her friends. Even though I had gotten past
the initial meeting, this was the one where they would actually decide if
they wanted to be friends. I was already well prepared not to get another
invite to one of these things.
I was nervous when Naomi text me last night asking for my address and
insisting on picking me up. Harry had seen me panic a little, but he didn't
get it. I knew that Harry and his friends lived a different life than me. He
had a nice house, well paying job, probably never had to worry about
paying his bills.
On the other hand, I lived in a not-so-nice part of the city, in run down
apartments that looked like they had black mold and cockroaches. I had
been pleasantly surprised when none of those things became an issue, but I
didn't really like having people over. It was only ever Millie - and she lived
a few apartments down. Jake had always refused to come over, because he
wasn't comfortable there.
 I could afford a better place, but I desperately wanted to buy a house by
the time I was thirty-five, which meant I had to save money, and this was
the best bet. I was able to pay rent and all my bills, put some money in
savings and have a tiny bit left for personal use. It wasn't all that bad. Even
though it was a sketchy area, no one ever really bugged me, and I had mace
for that if I needed.
Naomi hadn't said a damn thing about my place though. She even came
to my door instead of texting me from the safety of her car. I was grateful
for that, but I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.
Walking into the restaurant, my heart was racing. I was psyching myself
out I knew that, but this had been the first time I had been out with people
in a while - not counting Friday night. These girls were a close knit group,
and there was surely no way I could crack it. I couldn't crack it if I wanted. I
shouldn't have even said yes to hanging out with them, considering they are
Harry's people not mine. But then again, I needed companionship and I was
tired of letting my anxiety get in the way of that. Although this wasn't the
smartest way to go about it - making friends with your fuck buddies friends
knowing we were bound to end - part of my nerves today was excitement.
I realized this as we walk further into the restaurant, the familiar but
unfamiliar butterflies going crazy inside me. I had never felt excitement
while meeting new people; it had only ever been anxiety.
This was probably due to already having had full conversations with
them, but it was still a shock.
Luanne and Maura were already at the table, sipping on mimosas, and
chatting animatedly.
"Hey, guys!" Naomi cheered as we walk up to them.
Bright smiles lit up as they saw us, standing up to give out hugs. I was
taken aback, but gladly accepted them. As we sat down, Maura filled the
two of us in on the story of her and this guy she works with. I listen to her,
smiling at her being so enthusiastic. She put all of her energy into
entertaining us with this one story. I laughed at her dumbfounded reaction
when she told us something he had said when I noticed how closely Luanne
was watching me. I didn't feel any judgement, but it did make me nervous.
The girls did exactly what they did on Friday: talking about random stuff
until they thought I felt comfortable enough to talk about myself. Naomi
had finished telling me about how Mike had asked her on their first date,
when she turned it back on me.
 "So, Emma, are you seeing anyone?" She asks, sipping at her mimosa.
I blush, "Oh, no... Got out of a messy relationship several months ago, so
I'm just... dating myself, I guess?" I hope they can't see through my lie, my
cheeks a little pink, but I'm sure they'll think that it's just because I'm the
center of attention right now.
Maura laughs, "Babe, I've been dating myself for years now. Best
decision I ever made."
Luanne tilted her head at me, "So you're not interested in anyone right
now?"
I furrow my brows, "Uh, no?"
"You don't seem so sure." She presses.
"Lu, shut it. You're scaring the poor girl." Naomi scolds.
Lu throws her hands up in the air, "What? I'm not doing anything?!"
Maura rolls her eyes, "You're trying to set her up with Harry, don't lie."
I choked on my water, "What?" I sputtered out.
"Look, I just think you two would be really cute together! And it's a good
match, because you're so cute and shy, and Harry's well... not shy, but he
definitely keeps to himself, so he wouldn't be too overbearing on you." She
says like she's trying to convince me.
"Uh- I don't- you know..." I can't even finish my sentence, not knowing
what to even say to Harry's sister. I was shocked that she seemed so
desperate to hook us up. It was almost like she knew.
"Calm down, Em," Maura tells me with a smile, "Lu's been trying to get
Harry a girlfriend for years now. Used to hound me about it, but I have a
thing for blondies."
"I can't help it, okay!" Lu cries out in frustration, "It's been so long since
he's had a girlfriend. He broke up with Carla, what, five years ago now?
Right after they graduated uni. I know he says he's fine, but I can tell he's
lonely, and I don't want him to die alone." She concedes.
I chuckle at this, "Luanne-"
"Call me Lu." She insists.
"Alright, Lu," I smile warmly, "I don't think your brother has to worry
about being lonely from what I've heard at the gym."
She rolls her eyes at me, "I mean, technically he's not lonely in that
sense, because he's a man-whore, but he needs companionship. He needs
someone who's going to be there for him when he needs it."
 "Oh, I think most of those girls would love to be there for him in his time
of need. I think it's Harry who doesn't want them." I say amused at Lu
calling Harry a man-whore. "From what I've heard." I add quickly.
"He doesn't know what he wants, Em." She says pointedly, "Like look at
you. You're super hot, cute, as well, so nice and you're funny. He can't even
see what's right in front of him."
I blush but now it's my time to roll my eyes, "I think you like to meddle
in his life a little bit too much." I joke, making Naomi and Maura laugh.
"Do you think he's attractive?" She asks quickly, trying to catch me off
guard.
"What?" I panic a bit, not wanting to admit how attracted I am to her
brother. So attracted I let him cover me in chocolate syrup last night and
lick every inch of my skin clean.
"Do you think he's attractive?" She repeats, but it's Maura who answers.
"Christ, give her a break, Lu! You're gonna scare her off if you keep on
like a loony, and then she's never gonna want to hang out with us again!
Then you've really got no hope to plan their wedding." She nudges her
friend who rests her forehead on the table in defeat.
"Fine, I'm sorry, Em." She says not even looking at me. I bite back a
laugh when she continues, "I'm jus' worried about him."
Before I can stop myself I'm asking, "Why are you so worried about him?
Seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders."
Her head pops up, the center of her forehead slightly red, "Yeah, he's
great at making it seem like he's okay." She sighs and finishes off her drink.
"What you'll learn about Harry is that he's immensely private, doesn't like to
let a lot of people in. It'll probably take months for him to consider you a
friend even if you spend every Friday night with us. He's just... he's closed
off."
I'm taken aback by this, "Really? He's always been so nice to me." I
blush, "At the gym, I mean."
She nods her head, "No, don't get me wrong: Harry is great with people.
He can make someone fall in love with him with the drop of a hat. He's
incredibly charming. I mean, why do you think him and Mike get along so
well? They're both too charming for their own good, to be honest."
"You're telling me." Naomi adds next to me.
"It's like this." Maura says, "When Harry moved to his new house, it took
him four months to invite any of us over, and we've been his best friends for
years. He likes his privacy and space, and he doesn't like it when people
intrude on it."
I nod in faux understanding when our food arrives. I let the silence sit
between us as we begin to eat our brunch. I wanted to get off this topic, and
the only way I knew how was either to come up with a stupid animal fact,
or to say, "I get that. I'm very much the same. I'm flattered that you think
I'm good enough for your brother, Lu, but I really need to focus on myself
for a while. Ex did a real number on me."
There it was: if there was one topic I hated talking about it was Jake, but
it felt dirty to talk about Harry with his friends. Even the knowledge of him
not inviting people to his house made me nervous. That was obviously
something Harry didn't want me to know since he never mentioned it. I
didn't want to delve into how I felt about knowing he trusted me enough to
invite me over when he really didn't know me.
I didn't like lying to them either, which was crazy since I just met them,
and flashes of what we did to each others bodies kept flittering through my
mind. I didn't need to be thinking of Harry naked, hard as a rock, and
leaking cum out of his slit while his sister chowed down on an omelet right
in front of me.
"Do you mind if we ask about that? Know you just said you're private,
but you'll learn pretty fast that I'm a bit nosy." Maura leans in as if it's a
secret.
"A little nosy? You're a right meddlesome fucker, aren't you. Almost as
bad as Lu, here." Naomi teases, turning to me to say, "Watch out for these
two. They like to gang up on you to get information while making you feel
like their best friend." They both looked playfully offended getting a laugh
out of me. "Anyways, you don't have to talk about your loser ex."
I bright smile lifted my face, "No, it's okay. Haven't really talked about
it... Basically, I dated this guy I work with for two years until he broke up
with me out of nowhere, and then strung me along for the next three
months. Calling me up for a midnight fuck when he was lonely or some
shit, and when I finally had the guts to bring up our relationship to him, he
admits he's been seeing this other teacher we work with - she's a sub, so she
doesn't always work with us - and now they're dating, and she's super nice,
so I can't even hate her."
Naomi looks at me with slight disgust, "Ew, what a prat. It's a good thing
you aren't together anymore. You can do better than some guy who has a
teacher fantasy."
A loud, boisterous laugh leaves me as I almost double over in laughter at
her suggestion. "Holy shit! You're so right. He totally has a teacher kink."
"Nothing wrong with kinks, but he can't just string you along like that."
Maura points out.
I sigh at this, "Yeah, but I let him. It's my fault really-"
"Oi! None of that!" Lu tells me with an angry face, "Don't blame yourself
for that toxic prick of an ex's mistake. He's an idiot for letting you go,
obviously. I mean what was he thinking? Bloody idiot, he is."
I chuckle, "You don't even know the half of it."
"Ooohhh, what's the half of it?" Maura asks, leaning her elbows on the
table.
"He tells me now that he still wants to be my friend." I tell them with
'that' look.
There were groans from across the table, Naomi saying, "You've got to be
kidding me. No one in the history of breakups has ever wanted to "stay
friends" after getting broken up with."
"Why do people say that?!" Maura yells out to no one in particular.
I chuckle, surprised at how easy this is, "He only wants to be friends to
stay somewhat on my good side, so he can call me up to sleep with me
when he's drunk."
"I thought you said he was dating that other teacher?" Lu asks me.
"Oh, he is. I have to remind him all the time when he's calling me at
midnight outside some bar."
Luanne cringed, "I cannot believe this guy. And you have to work with
him?"
I nod, "Yeah, around a whole bunch of children so I can't even cuss him
out or slap him when he says something to me."
"Has this been going on since you guys broke up?" Naomi asks me.
"I mean... yeah, I guess. After he told me he wasn't interested in
restarting our relationship he left me alone for summer break, but when
school started back up he began trying to talk to me again." I tell her
honestly.
I can't believe I'm divulging all this information to them. They're
practically strangers, but they've somehow made me feel so welcome and...
heard. I've only told Millie about what had happened between Jake and I,
and I've kept a lot of the recent stuff secret, not wanting to worry her.
 "I don't know how you do it, babe. I wouldn't be able to look the fucker
in the face every day." Maura mutters.
I shrug, "He'll get over it, and start ignoring me soon enough."
Naomi looked like she wanted to say something, but bit her tongue. I
gave her a look and she returned it with a shrug, waving me off.
"Well, please tell me you've fucked someone to get rid of that bastard's
touch." I looked around wildly to see if anyone had heard that, my face
going red at Maura's question.
"Oh, I know that look." Lu teases, sitting back in her chair.
"Uh-" I stutter.
Maura bursts out laughing, "Calm down, babe, you don't have to tell us
the nitty gritty details of it. But from the looks of it, it was a good fuck."
I bury my face in my hands as the girls laughed at my reaction. I shook
my head and looked back at them, "Let's just say my bum's still sore."
†††
I blankly staring at my fridge, trying to decide what to eat for dinner
when I hear a knock on my door. I scrunch my face up in confusion,
wondering what anyone would be doing visiting me on a Monday night.
I walk to the door only to see my mom with a few bags of groceries in
her hands when I open it. She smiles and says, "Hi, honey."
"Uh, hi, mom." I respond, still shocked to see her at my door, but she
invites herself in and bustles to the kitchen to start putting away all the food
she brought. "What are you doing here?"
She looked up as she placed some veggies in my fridge, "Well, thought it
had been a while since we saw each other in person, and when we talked
yesterday you mentioned how you needed to go grocery shopping, and
knowing you I knew you would've put it off, so here I am."
"Mom," I sigh, walking back to the kitchen, "You don't have to do that.
I'm an adult. I should be able to go to the store and get food."
"I know you are, honey, but I just worry, you know? You're working so
hard, and you live in this dump of an apartment just so you can save up for
a house. Let me spoil you when I can, okay?" She tells me.
"But-"
She stops me with a pointed look, "Emma Everly, your poor mother
would like to take care of you in some way, and I know you spend way
more than you need to on food, because you feed that pregnant girl down
the hall."
 "Alright, alright, I know a losing battle when I see one." I concede,
helping her put the food away.
"Good, now sit over there and I'll make my chicken pot pie." She says
faux sternly.
"Really?!" I ask excitedly, "You know that's my favorite. Wait, what's
going on? Did something happen and you're trying to butter me up?"
She rolls her eyes at me, and starts setting up, "No, nothing's wrong. I
swear your mind... I just figured that it takes a while to make and cook, and
I would like to spend time with my only daughter."
A pang of guilt shoots through me, "I'm sorry I've been so MIA lately.
Just needed some time to myself. I'll make sure to drive up north to come
visit you more often."
Although I spoke to her almost every other day, it had been close to four
months since I had traveled to see her. She lived a few hours north in the
same town I grew up in. I moved down here for more opportunities as a
teacher, since the population was booming and they built two new schools
within the last few years.
I couldn't believe she had made the trip down to cook me dinner and talk
with me. My heart bloomed just thinking about it. My mom and I had
always been close. We didn't have my dad, so we were forced to work as a
team. I got a job when I was fourteen to help pay for food and save up for
college, while my mom worked two jobs to give me a good childhood
where I never had to worry that much. We lived in a nice house, always had
food, and I was spoiled during Christmas and my birthday every year. I
knew not to take it for granted, though. My mother would always make sure
I knew that it took hard work, determination, and sacrifices to live as
comfortably as we did.
My mom waved me off, "Stop, honey. I wasn't trying to make you feel
bad. It's always you who has to come to me, so I thought I would make the
effort this time. I hope it's okay that I stay the night, though."
"Of course. You really think I would make you drive all the way back at
like midnight? Not a completely shit daughter, you know."
"Yes, only half a shit daughter, who doesn't visit her lonely mother-"
"Wow, I knew you would hold that over me!" I say through a laugh.
Her head flung back as she joined in my laughter, "What can I say? You
left that wide open."
 I was about to retort when my phone started ringing. It had been on the
kitchen counter next to my mom slicing veggies. She looked down at it,
face looking curious when she saw who it was.
I furrowed my brows, "What?"
I lifted my butt off the stool I was sitting on to see who it was, my face
blushing when I see Harry's name pop up. With my reaction she knew
something was up, and just as I was about to grab my phone and ignore his
call, my mom snatched it up and answered it.
"Hello?" She smirks at me as I stare at her jaw dropped and eyes wide.
"Mom!" I hissed at her.
"Oh, this is Theresa, Emma's mother. Who is this?" She ignores me.
She waits a moment, and all I can think is how uncomfortable Harry
must feel right now. He was probably calling me so I could help him get off
or something.
"Well, Emma's gym buddy Harry, it's nice to meet you."
I roll my eyes, "Mom, can I have my phone back."
"Emma, your mother's on the phone don't be rude." She tells me with a
mischevious glint in her eyes.
I could hear Harry's distinct laugh through the receiver while I huffed.
"Why thank you, Harry m'dear. That's so sweet! So why were you calling
my daughter at this time?" She asks innocently, but I know exactly where
she's going with this.
I groan, but let her do her thing. I just hoped Harry could take a joke
since my mom could be a lot to handle.
"Honey, are you free Wednesday night?" She suddenly asks me.
I blush, not even hiding my shock. What was he doing? Why wasn't he
just saying he accidentally butt dialed me or something. "Uh, yeah, I guess."
"She says she'll clear her schedule. What are you two doing then, huh?"
She asks cheerily.
"Okay, mom, that's enough." I get up and make my way around the
counter to try and get my phone back.
"Oh, just going to the bar with your friends? Seemed like you could've
just text her. Calling is so personal now-a-days."
"Mom!" My face was burning now as I tried to catch her. She was
walking away from me, weaving in and around my small apartment like a
god damn ballerina.
 "Hmm... Good answer." She says simply, halting her footsteps, making
me nearly crash into her. "It was lovely talking to you, Harry. I'll give Em
the phone now."
I gave her a look and took my phone back. I swiftly made my way out of
the front door and started pacing in my hallway.
"Hey." I breathed out nervously.
I calmed a bit when I heard a light chuckle and his voice say, "Stop
freaking out, angel. Your mom's a laugh."
"She's meddlesome." I deadpan.
"She reminds me of mine, to be honest. She would've done the same
thing to me." He tells me.
I smile at this, "So, Wednesday?"
"Right, well I did fib a bit. We're not going out to the bar."
"Okay, so where are we going?" I ask him, fiddling with the sleeve of my
sweatshirt.
He sighed at this, "I just learned from my boss that there's this really
important work dinner that I need to be at."
"I thought you were the boss?" I teased.
I could just imagine his smirk, "I'm talking about the CFO, angel."
"Oh, shit... That's big, huh?" I ask.
"Yeah, the entire board's going to be there, and the CFO, Mr. Hastings, is
very old fashioned, so he expects me to bring someone. Jus' warning you,
he's an ass. Been making comments of me being single for a few years.
Thinks I'm not a real man, because I haven't got a wife or kids." He says
gruffly, and it's easy to tell this man has really gotten to Harry.
I frown, "What is this? The fifties?"
"Believe me, I know. He's old as shit, but he holds my career in his
hands, and could halt all raises and bonuses for me with the snap of his
fingers. I really need this to go over well."
I can hear the stress in his voice, so I say, "Well, then I'll be the best fake
girlfriend you've ever had. Where and what time?"
He sighed in relief, "Fuck, I owe you angel."
"Harry, it's part of the deal."
"No, you'll see once we get there. I'm going to apologize ahead of time.
I'll definitely owe you." He assures me, "It's at La Provance downtown at
seven." My eyes widen. "I'll pick you up at six-thirty?"
 I momentarily panic. I don't want Harry to know where I live as stupid as
that might sound. I don't want the judgement, or whatever pity would show
in his eyes. "No, I'll just meet at yours."
There was a pause before he said, "Okay, then be at mine at like six-
fifteen?"
"That sounds good. I'll see you then." I say.
"Alright, well, goodnight, angel. Tell your mom I said bye."
I smile, "Of course I will. Night, Harry."
I leaned against the wall and took a deep breathe. I was fucked. La
Provance was the nicest restaurant in the city. It was French and very
exclusive. I had even heard they were normally booked out months in
advance, and wondered how Harry's boss had just now told him about it.
Fuck, Harry was bringing me to meet probably some of the richest
assholes who lived in the city. His company was huge, and I could only
imagine the importance of the board and CFO. I couldn't imagine that
stress, especially if the guy who controls your work livelihood didn't really
like you in the first place.
Then I started thinking about what I would wear, and realized I had
nothing remotely appropriate for this sort of thing. I panicked silently and
made my way back into my apartment, "Mom, I need your help."
She looked up from the oven, "Please, tell me this has to do with that
dreamboat of a voice that just called you."
I blush, "Yes, sort of. I'm doing him a favor by going to this work
function with him-"
"Hmm, I thought you were going to the bars with his friends." She says
knowingly.
I rolled my eyes, and walked over to her impatiently, "Yeah, he lied.
Thought it would be weird to tell his friends mom that he needed her to
pretend to be his fake girlfriend to impress his boss."
"And he just decided to choose you?"
I gave her a look, "Mom, this is serious. I need you to hold back your
instincts to be nosy and help me out."
She shuts the oven and turns the timer on, "Okay, what's the big issue."
"I don't have anything to wear."
She presses her lips together to suppress her laugh and I groan, "Mom,
stop!"
 She finally succumbs to her laughter, "I'm sorry, Emma, but I've never
seen you like this. I'm sure you have something that'll work."
"No, I really don't." I press, "We're going to this fancy as shit French
restaurant that is so exclusive that I wouldn't be let through the doors on a
normal day. The CEO and CFO of his business are going to be there, and I
can't embarrass him by wearing a five year old dress that probably doesn't
even fit me properly. Mom, he works at Spectron Tech. He's-"
"Emma, calm down. Let's look at your closet and see what you have
while dinner is cooking." She says in her mom voice.
When she's looking through my stuff she says, "You only have two
dresses?"
I groan and fall onto my bed, "I'm fucked."
"You are not fucked, honey. How about this, I'll stay for another day, and
we can go shopping after you get home from work." She suggests.
"But don't you have to work?" I ask.
"Nope, I took the next couple days off. Using up some of my vacation
pay." She tells me.
"Oh, thank god! I don't even know where to shop for a dress so nice."
She stares at me with her arms folded, "Harry's just a friend, huh?"
Chapter Seventeen

HARRY
Fuck, I was nervous.
I had switched suits too many times since I got home, deciding to stick to
my guns and wear an "out there" suit. I went back and forth between
wearing something I actually like and wearing the standard black suit that
all the other men would be wearing.
It wasn't even that crazy. I landed on a patterned suit, black, white, and
maroon being the main colors. I had gold cuff links and my nicest watch on,
and kept the first few buttons on my black shirt undone. I knew this one
would match Emma's dress, so we would look like a proper couple.
Yesterday when she hadn't showed up at the gym, I texted her. It was
probably too clingy, but I had missed her on Monday, and wanted to see her.
She told me she was out dress shopping, and I immediately felt guilty. I
didn't want Emma to have to spend a lot of money to look nice. I would've
been fine if she just wore some jeans and a blouse, and when I tried to
convince her not to buy anything - immediately refusing to let me pay for
her dress - she told me to stop bugging her, and she'll text me the color of
her dress when she finally picked one.
My nerves danced through my body causing me to fidget and walk
around my house cleaning randomly until I heard my doorbell. My nerves
only worsened at the thought of her coming with me. I never actually
thought we would enact this rule on my side. I was normally pretty good
about getting out of these dinners, but this one I had a direct invitation from
my boss and couldn't say no.
I took a deep breath before I opened the door, my heart stopping when I
see her. She's wearing a gorgeous maroon dress that is somehow sexy and
sophisticated, tight at her bust, never showing too much cleavage, and
flowing delicately from her cinched waist to right above her knees. My eyes
gazed back up her body, lingering on her neck where a gold necklace hung,
and back up to her face. She had a lot of makeup on, that I knew, but it
never looked like it was caked on, or badly done. Her skin looked soft and
glowing, her lips covered in a classy nude color, and her eyes...
Fuck, her eyes popped, the light blue cutting through me like a hot knife.
My heart beat picked up as I took in how perfectly her eye makeup made
them stand out. She looked so elegant, but somehow like herself. She didn't
change for me. I could still see the nervous Emma I was accustomed to, but
now she shined in a different way.
I was so used to seeing her makeup free and sweaty, either from sex or
the gym, but this... this was such a nice surprise.
"Uh, can I come in?"
Her timid voice snapped me out of my daze. I blinked and stepped aside
quickly, "Yeah, sorry, you must be freezing."
She walked inside my house and smiled at me, and just like that my
nerves melted away. This was Emma, my Emma. There was no need to be
nervous. She would take care of me tonight.
"I love this suit." She says when I close the door behind us, bringing her
hands to my chest and gently rubbing up and down.
"Thank you." I mutter. My hand cups her jaw and tilts it up, so her eyes
meet mine, "Emma, you look... fuck, you are stunning."
She smiled and blushed, "Thank you."
I smiled back at her. Noticing how easy it was for her to take my
compliment. I lean down for a kiss, but she stops me and says, "Don't even
think about it. Do you know how long it took to get me to look like this?
We are not messing that up."
I pout and tug her closer to me, "Not even a kiss?"
"I think we both know where that kiss is going to lead." She taunts me
with mischevious eyes.
I hold back a growl, "You act is if I have no self control."
"You won't once you realize I'm not wearing any underwear."
I looked at her, a moment of charged silence running through us before I
step away hastily and rub my face with my hands, "Fuck, angel, you
shouldn't have said that. Do you realize how hard I'm going to be all night."
Her eyes light up and she giggles, "I'll make it up to you, baby." Stepping
back to me, grasping my wrists and pulling them away from my face. "Just
a peck." She mutters and leans up on her tip toes to press her lips against
mine.
It's too quick, much too quick, but I don't fight her on it, don't beg her for
more when she backs away, because the next thing I know she's bringing
her thumb up to wipe the lipstick off my lips. Her eyes are focused in on my
lips as she does this, and I can't stop how my heart jumps.
She seems to realize how intimate the air had turned around us, backing
away quickly and turning to my hallway mirror to check her lipstick.
"Why don't we head out? Traffic's probably going to be crazy." I say,
drawing attention away from the sudden awkwardness.
By the time we're almost there, the awkwardness has dissipated. Emma
started to ask me questions about my work, so she could be prepared. I
answered easily, actually enjoying talking about work for once.
I found myself eager to arrive, excited to show her off to my coworkers.
This would be the first time, and maybe only time, I would ever be able to
introduce her as my girlfriend.
"How long are we telling people we've been together?" She asks me
about a block away.
"Uh," I hadn't really thought about it to be honest, but I knew the best
way to lie was to stay as close to the truth as possible. "Well, we started our
thing about one to two months ago. Let's just stick with that."
She nods her head, "So, we met at the gym? Wait, will Mike be there
tonight?"
"No, this is for heads of department and uppers." I tell her, hating how
snobby I sounded.
I pull up to the curb, stepping out to give my keys to the valet, and step
around to open Emma's door. I held out my arm for her to grab as she
stepped out, and then watched as she fixed herself up. I took the receipt
from the valet and cleared my throat, "Is it okay to hold your hand?"
She looked up at me with amusement dancing around in her eyes, "Harry,
you can touch me however you want tonight."
I bite the inside of my mouth and smirk, "I can't touch you the way I
want, angel." I say lowly, holding my hand out for her to take. She finds
mine easily, intertwining our fingers making me smile.
As we start to walk up she says, "Just think how good it's going to feel
when you do finally get to touch me."
 I groan quietly, and lean down to whisper in her ear, "I hope you know
you're going to have to pull me away from in-between your thighs. Been
craving you since you let me eat my dessert off you."
"Harry." She says warningly.
I smirk, but pull away, keeping her hand tight in mine as I led her to the
hostess.
"Hello, how may I help you?" She asks politely.
"We're joining the Spectron group in your private room." I say, and
follow after her.
I looked around at the restaurant, taking in how high class everything
looked. It was interesting to see, but it wasn't really my style. I glanced at
Emma who was doing the same. She had a skeptical look on her face,
which made me chuckle and squeeze her hand. She caught my eye and
rolled her eyes.
I walked into the banquet room with a smile on my face, probably the
first time I've ever truly smiled at one of these dinners. Immediately we
were greeted by people I worked with, some I didn't even know the name
of. Emma was charming and a calming presence around me, keeping me
focused but also enjoying myself. Every time we were able to escape a
meaningless conversation, she would lean up to my ear and crack a joke, or
even tell me a stupid fact about an animal. I had to hide my laughter quite a
bit, trying to keep a cool demeanor amongst such important people.
I don't know what happened to the shy and nervous Emma I had
encountered last week. She was now confident and bright. After I had
introduced her to the head of marketing I pulled her aside, drinks in our
hands, and said, "I thought you said you weren't good at meeting new
people."
She paused for a moment, thinking, "I'm not. Huh, I haven't really
thought about it tonight. I'm just trying to impress people for you. You
know, not embarrass you or anything."
I frowned, bringing my free hand to cup her cheek, "Angel, don't worry
about that. You would never embarrass me. The only person here I care
about impressing is the CFO, and I'll probably never do that. I wanted you
with me tonight because I thought you would make this night bearable, and
then we could go home and I could fuck you in this amazing dress."
She turned red at my admission, but smiled anyways. I loved how it was
easier for her to accept my words when we weren't in the bedroom. It was
like she was starting to believe how beautiful she was.
She surprised me for the millionth time tonight when she reached up to
kiss me. Not a peck like before, but a real kiss. Just as they all do, it ended
too quickly, and I can't help but pout. She giggles at my expression, but
does the same thing she did at my house, wiping her lipstick off my lips. I
couldn't hold back the fondness in my eyes as I stared down at her,
completely beguiled by my angel.
"Mr. Styles."
My attention was stolen by Mr. Hastings, the CFO of my company. I
immediately straightened out, grabbing Emma's hand, and pulling her into
my side only to wrap my arm around her waist.
"Mr. Hastings, how are you. Mrs. Hastings, you look lovely tonight." I
say politely.
"Fine." Mr. Hastings responds, his wife just sending me a close-lipped
smile. "Can't wait to sit down and eat. This cocktail hour thing is
ridiculous."
Emma laughs breathily, "I agree, Mr. Hastings. I'm about ready for some
food as well."
At the sound of her pretty voice, my boss turns his eyes to Emma for the
first time. His brows furrow, "And who is this young lady?"
"This is my girlfriend Emma." I answer quickly, feeling more nervous
than I should.
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Hastings." She smiles and reaches her hand
out to shake his.
He takes her hand, and I can tell he's surprised by the firmness of her
handshake. "Hmph, well, I really never thought Styles would be one to
settle down. How long have you two been together?"
"Oh, almost two months now?" Emma half-answers half-asks me,
feigning a thought process.
I smile down at her, "Yeah, it'll be our two month in a week." I tell them
my rehearsed response.
I could see Emma fight back a smirk as she turned back to my boss and
his wife, "And how long have you two been married?"
Mrs. Hastings lights up for the first time since I've met her. "We just
celebrated our fiftieth anniversary."
I raised my eyebrows at this while Emma's jaw drops, "Your fiftieth?!
Wow, that's amazing. Congratulations. You must've married young then,
because there's no way you two are in your seventies." She says making me
smile.
I see Mrs. Hastings stand up straighter and mask the pleased look on her
face with her normal pompous one, "Well, we married when I was twenty-
one, but we've been together since we were sixteen."
"Oh my gosh," I purse my lips to keep myself from laughing at her
castrated words, "you look amazing, Mrs. Hastings! I hope when I'm in my
seventies that my skin bounces back like your does."
She blushes and waves her hand at Emma, "Well, thank you, but I'll tell
you the secret." She leans in, "It's all about moisturizing twice a day, and
keeping your man stress free, because if he's crabby then you're crabby, and
crabbiness causes wrinkles."
Emma's face split into a wide true smile, and Mr. Hastings says
warningly, "Opal..."
"Oh, shush, Albert, let the women speak."
I can barely contain my glee as I see him huff and puff, but give in to his
wife. I've never seen him bow to anyone, yet here he is. I watch in
amusement as Emma breaks down Mrs. Hastings until she's actually
laughing out loud. In the five or so years I've known her, I have never even
heard her speak, but Emma has her singing like a canary.
She pulls away from me a bit, them talking to each other closely as Mrs.
Hastings tells her the tale of how Mr. Hastings first asked her to go
"steady", leaving me to put my hands in my pockets, and step aside.
"Been bringing her to these things for twenty years, and she's never
smiled this much." Mr. Hastings said to me quietly, "That's quite the broad
you've got."
I give him a look, not actually believing he called her that like this is a
movie from the forties, but said, "Yeah, I know."
"You better lock that one down, Styles. You don't get many chances in
life to do so." He tells me gruffly.
My face feels warm, but I nod at him. He's about to say something else,
but the host says that dinner will be served in ten minutes and for everyone
to take their seats, so I pull Emma away from a reluctant Mrs. Hastings and
walk us over to the two seats with our names.
"Fancy." Emma mutters under her breath as she sees her name written out
in cursive in front of her.
 I chuckle and say quietly, so no one else can hear, "You were amazing,
angel."
She looks at me, obviously proud at what she just did, "I was petty great,
wasn't I?"
"Never even heard Mrs. Hastings speak before tonight, and you got her
laughing and everything."
"Yeah, I ended up telling my mom that you needed some help with this
dinner, and she helped me pick out my dress, cause I had no clue what
would even be appropriate for this type of thing, and then she gave me the
advice: "Emma, the thing you need to know about older, traditional men is
that if you get the wife to like you then the husband will follow along like a
puppy." which apparently is perfectly true. Looks like Mr. Hastings
lightened up a bit."
I smiled, "I just can't believe you cracked them. I've been failing at that
for years."
"Well, I can't help it if I'm more likable than you." She teases.
"That's definitely true. You are more likeable in every way."
She smiles and shakes her head, but doesn't respond. We eat our way
through appetizers and salads and wait for our entrees, both still starving
seeing as their portion sizes have been very small. I can see Emma's
unimpressed gaze the moment our food comes out. It's the tiniest piece of
ahi with a dollop of some puréed thing. She eats it dutifully, listening to the
conversation around us politely, only speaking when someone asks her a
question.
I make a plan for a speedy exit after dessert, only stopping to say
goodbye to the Hastings, the Mrs. pulling Emma in for a surprising hug,
and telling me that I better be bringing her to every dinner from now on,
and that she'll make sure we all sit together. I shake hands with my boss,
and actual smile being sent my way before I grab her hand and pull out of
the restuarant.
It's dark and chilly while we wait for the car, so I give her my suit jacket.
My heart warms at how it swims on her, and how she pulls it tight around
her to keep the air out. The moment we get in the car, heat on full blast I
turn to her and say, "Burgers?"
She groans in relief, "Yes, please! I am starving my ass off here. What do
they think they're playing at? Serving us a portion size of a baby!"
 I laugh loudly, "It was ridiculous. The moment I saw how little the entree
was I almost cried."
"I don't even like fish, and I was ready to shove a full one down my
throat if they gave me the choice." She tells me.
"Wait, you don't like fish? Why didn't you say?" I ask.
She shrugs, "Didn't want to make it a big deal, and have them cook
something else. Thought it might embarrass you..."
"Oi! What did I say about that? You've got nothing to worry about,
angel." I tell her sincerely, "Anyways, you could've asked for Spanish food
and Mrs. Hastings would've made sure the server went out into the cold and
brought you a dish from somewhere else."
Her laughter rang through my car as I pulled into a drive thru. I ordered
our food and paid, Emma huffing something about me spending money on
her, but I just waved her off. I parked a little down the road in the parking
lot of a park, so we could eat.
It was fairly quiet until Emma spoke up.
"You don't like your job very much, do you?"
I looked over at her and shrugged, "I mean, does anyone?"
"No, I mean you really dislike it." She presses.
"How can you tell?" I ask curiously.
"It's not like you hide it. Last week when I found out you worked there
you just brushed it off, and every time someone mentioned at the bar you
got all grumpy." She says simple, biting into her burger afterwards.
I furrow my brows, "I don't get grumpy." With her mouth still full she
gives me a look. "Alright, maybe I get a bit grumpy."
She swallows and takes a big sip of her soda, "Is there a certain reason,
or do you just not like accounting?"
I think about it for a moment, never really considering the reason why I
was so miserable working there. Finally, I sigh, "I guess it's a lot of things. I
don't mind accounting. I love numbers, always have, but it's when I have to
take everyone's numbers and putting them together for the big picture to
make sure they all match. But they don't. Like ever. Mike is the only one
who runs a team that can actually properly balance their accounts. Everyone
else is just lazy or... I don't know, dumb? It sounds harsh, but every month I
have to put together our big report, and I spend hours and sometimes days
trying to fix other peoples mistakes. And it's my job to talk to them about it,
but I hate doing that. I don't like being responsible for other people. I wish it
was just me, because then I could control it all much easier. Don't even get
me started about the higher ups. They're all super rich and snobby, well, you
saw tonight. I just... I just don't feel like I fit in."
She's silent for a second, "That makes sense. Have you thought about
quitting? Or maybe even stepping down?"
I shake my head instantly, "No, I worked so hard to get to where I am.
I'm the youngest head of department in the history of Spectron, and if I
left... I would've wasted all that time. I don't want to start all over at a
different company to only end up with the same result." I repeat what I've
told my friends a million times.
"Harry, are you happy there?" She asks me seriously.
"I think it's obvious I'm not." I answer.
"How stressed out are you because of it?" She continues.
I pause, "A lot... All the time, I guess."
"Are you constantly thinking about work when you shouldn't have to?"
I look away from her, staring out at the empty park, "Yeah."
"Do you think it's worth it?"
Her last question has me silent for a while, but she doesn't budge. I can
feel her eyes burning into the side of my face, so when I can't take it
anymore I say, "It's not that easy."
"Of course it isn't, dummy." She says with a roll of her eyes.
I huff out a laugh and look at her, "Did you just call me a dummy?"
"Yes, it's what all the kids say at my school when they're making fun of
their friends." She tells me, "Harry, it's never easy when we're adults. In
fact, it fucking sucks most of the time. Things aren't as black and white as
they were when we were kids, or even at uni. You go to work Monday
through Friday dreading your day, apparently even taking your work home
on some weekends, because other people are too inept to properly do their
job. It makes sense now why you spend so much time at the gym and
boxing, trying to get rid of all that stress your holding. That's not fair to you
or your body or your mental health. You deserve to be happy."
"Emma, I-"
"No, listen to me." She says sternly and I look at her in surprise, "You're
scared to leave because you don't want to be seen as a failure. You don't
want everyone to think you choked under the pressure. As much as you
dislike those people we just had dinner with, you care about what they think
of you. You're also scared because you don't know what you would do other
than what what you're already doing now. You don't know what direction
you're supposed to go in. That's all normal. Do you know how many people
are still figuring shit out at our age? Most people! It's rare when people
know how they want to spend the rest of their life. Quite frankly it's a bit
ridiculous that they have us deciding it when we're teenagers."
"But you love your job." I counter.
She thinks for a moment, "Yeah, I do. I'm glad I teach, and I love my
kids, but that's my timeline, not yours."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that we are all born with different timelines in mind for
ourselves. Sure, you could get lucky and know that you want to be a teacher
when you're super young, or maybe you meet your soulmate when you're
sixteen, but that isn't everyone. Did you know that Samuel L Jackson didn't
get his big break in Hollywood until he was forty-three? Julie Child didn't
release her first cookbook until she was fifty. Momofuku Ando - the guy
who invented instant ramen - didn't do that until he was forty-eight!" I smile
at her as she lists these random facts finding it unbelievably adorable,
"You've still got so much time, Harry. Don't waste it idling at a company
you hate, with people you don't mesh well with, and doing a job that brings
you nothing but stress and anxiety. It isn't worth it."
I don't know what to say. I've never had anyone say it like this to me. I've
never had anyone call me out on my fears, either. I thought I hid them too
well, but Emma had read me like an open book. Everything she said just
made sense. There was no arguing to be done, and I didn't know how to
handle it.
I felt lost in my own body. Of course I wanted to quit my job. I hated
every second I spent in that building, but I didn't know what else I would
do. My degree is in math and accounting. There's very limited things I
could do, most of them being an accountant. I didn't want to be one, and I
certainly didn't want to be anyone's boss but mine.
So why was I trying so hard to please everyone there? Why did I give a
shit what Mr. Hastings thought of me?
She was right, however. I was so afraid to start fresh and have everyone
think I failed. Not only my coworkers and boss', but my friends and family.
Everyone was so set in their lives. All of my siblings had these careers they
really cared for, my friends all exceeding in their fields. Even Mike could
make Spectron work. He liked his job, didn't love it, but that was okay. I
was only asking for a job or career that I didn't hate - despise.
I tried responding several times, but each time my mouth shut before
anything could leave my lips. I couldn't admit any of this. Not out loud. Not
right now.
"Are you done with your fries?"
My head shoots over to Emma who has decided so gracefully to end the
conversation. It's like she could sense that I was done. Done talking about
my job and my fears. She had read me again, so, so easily. Like she had
been born and bread to do so.
I nod, "Yeah, you can take them. Ready to go home?"
"Yeah," She smiles at me, "Are we still doing tomorrow night, too, since
it's Thursday."
"If you're okay with that then yes."
She nods, smiling at me. I drive for twenty minutes straight with silence
in the car. She rests the back of her head on the headrest, and stares out the
window looking a bit tired. Occasionally she will turn towards me and catch
my eye, sending see a smile that makes my heart warm.
Her phone dings just as I'm turning onto my street, and she chuckles,
"Naomi just text see to see if I wanted to join you guys on Friday again."
I smile, "What is she texting you at eleven on a Wednesday for?"
She laughs at this, "Not sure... I bet her and Mike are plotting against us."
I join in her laughter, pulling into my driveway, "Ohh, definitely. I can
just picture them with a huge whiteboard, suggesting ideas to hook us up."
"You should've heard the girls on Sunday. Lu was convinced that we
were perfect for each other." She tells me with a look that says 'isn't that
ridiculous'.
My heart deflates a bit, seeing her deny the fact so easily, but I cover it
up with an eye roll, getting out of the car, and walking up the steps to my
house. She was following behind me unable to see my forlorn face.
"Yeah, they're all super nosy, and like to butt into my life. They're
constantly trying to hook me up with any person that somewhat even looks
at me."
I hear a small laugh behind me, "I could tell."
"So, are you going out with us on Friday?" I ask her, unlocking my door.
"I don't know..." Please, say yes. "I'll think about it."
 I hold the door open for her and step inside, turning the lights on. I feel
exhausted mentally, almost just wanting to sleep and cuddle with her, but I
know that's not what she signed up for. She doesn't want a relationship.
However nice this was for the night, she wasn't my girlfriend.
I turn around to look at her, but she's already so close that I nearly
stumble back. Instead of the lustful eyes I might have expected, she was
looking at me softly. It was if she was reading my mind, her hand coming
up to cup my jaw.
"I know you said you wanted to be in-between my thighs today, but I
want to take care of you." She says quietly.
I nod submissively, giving in to her easily and willingly. I'm glad that she
could see what I needed tonight.
Emma takes my hand and leads me to the couch, letting me sit on it as
she stands in front of me. I can tell my eyes are full of need when she
smiles softly and climbs onto my lap, straddling me. My hands find her hips
like they are magnets, this position being one of my favorites. It gives
Emma control, and I love it when she takes control. I love how confident
and sultry she becomes while also staying so sweet and caring.
"My baby," She mumbles as she noses my cheek to the side, "Know
you're exhausted. Know tonight took a lot out of you, but I'm gonna take
care of you, okay?"
I nod again, eyes closed, "Please."
"Gonna make you feel all the pleasure tonight." She says lowly and I
whimper, knowing exactly what she means by that.
Chapter Eighteen

EMMA
I always loved the way Harry tasted.
No matter what he had been doing his skin was delicious. My lips
ravaged his, tongues meeting sloppily, but I pulled his head back so I could
deepen our embrace. I wanted control, but more than that I could see that
Harry needed it.
Tonight had completely exhausted him mentally, and I hadn't helped by
probing and pushing him earlier while we were eating. I honestly didn't
need to get off. I just felt an intense urge to pleasure Harry.
And I knew a surefire way to do that.
I seperated from his lips and started to kiss my way across his jaw and
down to his neck. When I felt his pulse under my tongue, I sucked hard. He
moaned and tightened his hold on me. I found it so amusing how much
Harry loved hickeys. He absolutely craved them from me, last Saturday
begging me to give him a large one, so everyone could see.
My tongue soothed over the tender bit of skin while my fingers started to
unbutton his black dress shirt. I moved his collar to the side, my one hand
working his shirt open slowly, tauntingly. He started to fidget, getting
impatient, but I distracted him by nibbling on the base of his neck, creating
more dark love bites on his skin. These ones would be easier to hide, if he
wanted to, but I got the feeling he would purposefully wear a shirt with a
low collar to work tomorrow morning.
With his shirt finally open, his glorious chest exposed, I made my way
down lower. My lips grazed his skin while my hands caressed his torso. The
tips of my fingers traced along the lines of his tattoos, not even needing to
look to know where they are.
A small whine left his lips when I just barely grazed over his nipple. I
smiled to myself, remembering just how responsive he was when I had
finally got to spend some time loving on them. I breathed over it again,
watching it pebble and small goosebumps form. I decide to give him some
relief, the smallest kitten lick dusting over him.
Before he could beg I wrapped my lips around his small, budded nipple,
sucking and flicking it with my tongue. He groaned deeply, hand groping
the back of my head, keeping me close to him. I take my time, moving to
his other nipple, basking in the sounds he's making, and the way his body
squirms under me.
I start my way lower, crawling off his lap, and kneeling between his legs.
He adjusts his body, opening up to me more, his striking green eyes
watching me intensely. I kiss and lick along the ferns resting on his hip
bones, slowly creeping towards his happy trail, now placing soft sweet
kisses.
I can very clearly see his bulge, and I wondered how uncomfortable it
was for him. His face was scrunched up in pained ecstasy, and I can only
imagine how badly he wants to free his erection. I can picture his thick,
veiny length, red at the tip and leaking his salty cum.
Teasingly, I nip at the edge of his pants, smirking when he breathes out a
small laugh. With my teeth I somehow get his pants unbuttoned, leaning
forward to suck another love bite to his lower abdomen while I unzipped
him.
His hips lifted a little, expecting me to take his pants off, but I shake my
head at him. I lift up on my knees, getting a better vantage point, and peel
open his pants to see him straining against his boxer-briefs. He's so big that
his tip is poking out of the band, the sliver I see furiously red.
I hum as if I'm hungry, folding over so I get the full view of his weepy
tip. A bead of pre-cum is resting right at his slit, so I lean in and lick it up,
moaning at his heady taste. He whimpers and squirms, eyes burning into
my face.
I'm enjoying drawing this out, never exactly having the chance to do so
before, so I toy with him by tracing the tip of my tongue all along the base
of his head. I take my time when I reach the frenulum, knowing how
sensitive it is.
"Emma..." He breathes out, but is cut off as I purse my lips and place soft
kisses all over his head. He groans in semi relief, but soon he's back to
fidgeting as I never take that step further. He wants me to suck, to wrap my
full lips around him and keep him in my warm mouth until he's shooting
down my throat.
"Angel, stop teasin', please." He begs.
I peck his slit, smearing some of his cum on my lips, and look up at him.
He curses and closes his eyes for a second to gather himself, taking a deep
breath before looking down at me again. His hand cups my cheeks, thumb
grazing over my bottom lip to gather up his mess. He holds his thumb to my
mouth and waits for me to open. "Don't let it go to waist, angel."
Immediately, I suck on his thumb, tongue licking up the small amount of
cum on it. He coos at me, and I smirk back, finally deciding to pull down
his pants and underwear. His cock springs free, bobbing, and twitching
when my hand wraps around it. I always forget just how thick he is until I'm
holding him in my hand.
I tilt him towards my mouth, and suck lightly on his head. A load moan
leaves Harry, urging me on. I slide down further, my mouth watering at the
feel of his soft, veiny skin filling me up. I bob my head slowly, pumping
him in my hand. I take my time, teasing him still, popping off of him like a
lollypop and kissing down his length.
He holds my hair back and watches me, letting me know without a doubt
how much he's enjoying this. I'm surprised by how much I'm enjoying this,
honestly. Giving out blowie's has always felt like a job. I had only given
Harry two, both being rushed and needy. I now got to relish in the heavy
feel of him in my mouth, and the saltiness if his pre-cum.
I slink down low, tilting my head as I continue to kiss down his length,
and pursing my lips, so Harry has the best most salacious view of me.
When I get to his base I suck harshly and without warning. He ruts against
me at the feeling, but I push him back down, licking down and around and
in-between his full, round balls.
I fit a whole ballsack in my mouth, lightly sucking and gently caressing it
with my wet tongue. And then I'm licking up his full length, wrapping
around him and sinking as far down as I could go without pushing it. Over
and over I bob my head all the way from his tip to the back of my throat,
my saliva wetting him, and my hand pumping what I'm not fitting.
He's taking turns whispering and moaning my name, pulling my hair and
praising me. I've never felt more in control and confident in my life. Not
even that first time in the gym shower when I touched myself in front of
him. My actions we're causing him to completely unravel and I was basking
in the glory that was a blissed out Harry.
Fuck, he was so beautiful when he was edging. The pained look in his
face, eyebrows all scrunched up, cheeks flushed, but his eyes... His eyes
were a striking, electric shade of green, dilated and fierce as they watched
me. He was breathing roughly, and I could see and feel he was close, his
cock twitching in my mouth.
I decide to push myself, opening up my jaw more, and angling my head,
so I could sink him further down my throat. I was already aware that I had
little to no gag reflex, so there was no problem except me struggling to
breathe. I pushed through it, feeling how good Harry felt. Both of his hands
were fisting my hair, the combination of his hands and cock making my
eyes water.
When my nose meets his skin, lips feeling the base of his cock, I moan.
Vibrations are sent all the way through him, and then I pulse my head
against him, swallowing and moaning as long as I can.
"Fuck," He curses breathlessly, "So bloody perfect, my angel. I'm 'bout
there- ahh!"
I can feel his length throbbing, so I pull up until only half his cock is in
my mouth and start bobbing furiously, fisting his other half tightly. An
obscene mix between a moan and growl leaves him, and soon he's shooting
his cum into my mouth. I lap it up greedily, astonished at how much is
leaving his body. I swallow a load and then there's another one filling my
mouth, and it repeats.
I whimper and suck, asking for more, and he doesn't disappoint. When he
pulls me away, hissing at how sensitive he is, I crawl up on his lap and
smash my lips against his. My tongue, still covered in his cum, enters his
mouth, embracing his in a lewd and raunchy way.
And because Harry's Harry, he takes it. In fact, he relishes in the taste of
his own cum on my tongue. He kisses me harder and deeper, whining into
my mouth, and I'm so grateful I'm here. With him.
I'm grateful that I found him. I'm grateful that I can share this indecent
and bawdy moment with him.
I bite his lower lip and pull away, taking it with me until it snaps back
into place. His eyes are hazy as he looks at me, mumbling out, "Absolutely
filthy."
"You like that?" I ask smugly, nipping at his jaw.
 "Oh, god yes... Love it when you take control." He presses his lips to
mine in a hard kiss and says, "My turn."
I pull away and look him dead in the eye, "Who said I was done?"
†††
Harry's body laid out in front of me on his bed, completely bare, dick still
soft from his climax only ten minutes ago. I had to coax him upstairs,
taunting him with my dirty words. He tried to convince me to let him have a
taste, but I reminded him it was my turn to take care of him.
He savored my eyes on his body, greedy for my attention. I turned away
and walked over to our box of toys. Harry had really gone all out when he
did his big online order. He had gotten me three different types of vibrators,
two sets: one for here and one for me at my home. I had grumbled about
him spending all his money on me, but he shut me up quickly by eating my
ass out in his living room one night.
I took out a dildo, some lube, and the finger vibrator. When I turned
around and he saw what I was holding he sat up, and straightened out. I
stopped right in front of him, and pushed his shoulder so he would lay back
down how I wanted him. He followed my lead quickly and eagerly, eyeing
the dildo specifically.
Although I had eaten him out and fingered him, we hadn't gone this far to
pleasure him like this. He's talked to me a little about how it feels, but
mostly I've done a lot of research on the internet. I've read guys and girls
accounts of having it done to them and guys and girls accounts of
performing the act. I knew the type of angle I should go for and the amount
of lube I should use.
I smile coyly down at him, and lean over a bit to whisper, "Turn around
and get on your hands and knees."
His pupils dilate before he follows my command. I can see is penis
slowly hardening, still not fully recovered from my blow job.
My heart was pounding as I squirted the anal lube onto my fingers. I
glanced up to see Harry's forehead pressed against the bed, eyes shut, heavy
breathing, patiently waiting for me. I put my knees up on the bed, making
sure my dress isn't tucked underneath so I have all the movement I need.
My clean hand trails my middle finger down his spine and into his crack
to ghost over his hole. His legs are wide apart, allowing me to see just a
sliver of in-between his cheeks. His puckered hole clenches at the feeling
and anticipation. My hand gropes one cheek and pulls it, so I have full
access.
My lube covered fingers circles around his entrance, Harry jumping a bit
at the slick feeling. I toy with his rim until I hear the unmistakable sound of
a whimper. I take that as my cue to ease in one finger, pulling it out and
repeating a few times. He's quietly humming at the feeling, exhaling a deep
breath when I push a second finger in.
I circle and scissor and feel around him, and he's rotating his hips
mindlessly. It's sort of entrancing the way he's fallen into a daze. I wonder if
a woman had ever done this to him. I doubted it, honestly. I didn't think a
lot of woman have experienced this in general, because there were so many
guys unwilling to try anal on themselves. My ex had mentioned it being
emasculating, but Harry clearly loved it. I had the feeling that even if Harry
wasn't bi, he would've been into trying it.
I pull out of him, and reach down for more lube. He whines pitifully as I
lather up the dildo, and slip the finger vibrator on. I could switch it on easily
with my thumb, so I wouldn't have to stop my thrusts when I surprise him. I
don't think he even noticed the little vibrator, because his eyes were trained
solely on the long, silicone dildo.
He whines again, impatient and needy. I tut, "My baby is so greedy.
Wanting me to rush when I want to play with you. Don't you want me to
play with you, baby?" He nods into the mattress. "Want me to play with
your little hole until you're cumming everywhere?"
"Yes, yes, yes, please, angel." He pleads with me.
I smirk, and carefully pull his cheeks apart again, careful not to alert him
of the toy on my pointer finger. He's all shiny and slick from my fingers,
making him seem so inviting. Slowly and teasingly I push the dildo in. It
slides in easily, all the way to my fist at the hilt. I let it sit there for a few
seconds before I pull it out at the same grueling tempo.
A bawdy moan leaves Harry's wide open mouth. He looks so relieved,
his hands clenching the sheets underneath him. I continue this pace and
angle until he opens up a bit more. I peer around him to him to see he's half-
hard, and tilt the dildo down a bit.
When I push in at an entire new angle, faster and rougher than before,
Harry squirms and arches his back more. His knuckles are white as they fist
the sheets even tighter. I repeat the new angle over and over again at the
same pace, knowing I was hitting his prostate.
 "R-right there, angel, baby. Oh fuck! How are you- aaahhhh!" He groans
out loudly when I speed up. "Perfect, perfect, perfect." He mumbles
mindlessly.
I take this as my opportunity. I scoot closer to him, and lean forward a bit
so I can lightly skim his cock. He twitches and ruts against my hand, so I
wrap it around and turn the vibrator on, pressing it lightly onto his
frenulum.
"Fuck!" He yells out, and I feel him grow and harden in my hand, making
my own core throb. I circle the same area with my finger, not even pumping
him. I let the vibrations do all the work as I thrust into him from behind.
My arm is burning as I keep going, harder and faster as he calls out in
ecstasy to me. His body is spasming and squirming and it's absolutely
mesmerizing. I've never been responsible for a man going this crazy. I've
never caused someone so much pleasure. I held on tighter to his now
throbbing cock, still circling his frenulum, and now pulsing the dildo into
him, repeatedly rubbing against his spot.
"Oh god! Angel! Don't- don't stop!" He literally screams.
My eyes widen and feel myself dripping down my thigh. I move even
closer, my pelvis and thighs now up against his, I start to thrust my hips
lightly against his thighs, simulating me pounding into him as I work him
over with the glistening dildo.
He loses all control, nearly collapsing onto the bed, rutting against my
hand, so the vibrator is now massaging up and down his thick vein. His
mouth opes for a silent scream, eyes tightly shut and he's tensing
everywhere, his back muscles clenching as he finally cums.
Just like earlier it doesn't seem to stop. He spurts long and hot onto the
bed underneath him, covering his cock and my hand.
I work him through it until he cries out, telling me to stop. I pull out the
dildo and throw it on the bed, taking a look at my now cum covered hand,
vibrator still turned on. I glance at Harry's collapsed body breathing heavily,
and feel my core hot and throbbing. I can see him blinking his eyes open, so
I make a decision.
Swiftly, I walk over to the other side of the bed, closer to his head. I get
on the mattress, facing his limp body, his head propping up on his chin to
watch me, brows furrowed a little in sleepy confusion like he's just waking
up. I hold back a coo at how adorable he looks, and spread my legs. I lift up
my dress so he can see my soaking wet cunt, thighs glistening from my
arousal. His eyes flicker down immediately looking dazzled by the sight,
and I clench around nothing making him let out a pitiful whine.
I rest my weight on my hand behind me, careful not to fall off the edge,
while my left hand, covered in his cum, vibrator buzzing on full speed
comes to my folds. He tries to sit up and reach out to me, and my heart
swells.
"Oh, my baby... Trying to help see when you're too fucked for your own
good." He whimpers and pouts at my words. My fingers sneaks up and
down my folds, the vibrator sending shivers of relief up and down my body.
"No touching, baby. Just want you to watch, okay?"
He nods, giving in easily, slowly wrapping his arm underneath my thigh,
and resting his cheek on it, so he's got the perfect view of my core. The
dreamy look in his eyes as he watches me smother my silky folds with his
cum, sends jolts to my heart. It's like he's staring at the most precious item
in the world, so enthralled with what he's watching that he doesn't realize
what it's doing to me.
"Pretty..." He mumbles out in a trance.
I'm breathing heavily, rolling my head back as I circle my clit. It had
been so long since I had touched myself like this, and I loved doing it in
front of Harry. I wondered what he would look like touching himself until
he came. I wanted that, adding it mentally to my list of things to try with
Harry.
My middle finger stretched down to play with my opening, never
pushing in fully. Just the fingertip popped in, teasing myself as I found the
perfect spot on my clit. I whine as I still my hand and press down. I can feel
Harry's heavy breath on me, making me squirm and clench, and I want him,
but at the same time I love this. I love him watching me sleepily after I
made him cum harder than he ever has before.
His body looked like jello on the bed, but I had to shut my eyes and loll
my head back again as the knot in my abdomen tightened and edged. I was
so close, quietly moaning and whining, begging myself for my climax, but I
was having so much fun teasing myself.
My eyes popped open when I felt Harry's hand tighten on my thigh, and I
saw the look in his eyes: wonder, happiness, and tranquility. Just the look
alone sent me over the cliff, climaxing in satisfaction.
I gasp out when Harry's arm is wrapped around my hip, large palm flat
against my lower back, pulling me towards his open mouth. I squealed in
pleasure when his tongue slipped inside me, elongating my orgasm. He
soaked up my release greedily, eyes closed and humming in contentment as
he did so.
I collapsed onto my back, pulled further onto the bed, head hanging off
the side as I basked in the glow of my high. I breathed in deeply, flinching
when Harry placed three sweet pecks to my clit. I smiled to myself and we
both stayed silent, recuperating from what just happened.
†††
I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I hung my expensive dress up in
Harry's closet. I was beyond happy to see not a single drop of cum soiled
the beautiful fabric. When I finally got off the bed, and stripped, he
convinced me to hang it up in his walk-in so it wouldn't get wrinkled. I just
shrugged and walked into the large space, noticing how empty it felt. There
were about twenty or so suits hung up on one side, work pants and shirts
hanging from hangers, a few sweaters and shirts folded up in open drawers,
but the other half was empty.
I didn't bring attention to it, instead coaxing Harry into a nice hot bath.
When he collapsed on the bed he had fallen straight into his cum, and we
stayed like that for so long it had started to dry, so he needed to clean off.
He whined when I walked away, but I told him I would be just one moment.
Stripping the sheets off his bed, I wandered around until I found his
washer and dryer. When I came back into the room, I grabbed the toys we
used, and found the special cleaner he got, and brought everything into the
bathroom.
He had sunk deep into the water only his head visible. I had placed a bath
bomb into his bath, so it covered his whole body in pink foam. His eyes
were barely open as he watched me wash off our toys. I was still naked, not
bothering to put a t-shirt on.
Plus, I liked the feeling of his eyes on me. They weren't judging me or
objectifying me, no they were worshipping me. I never felt weird or
insecure under his gaze, whether that was at the gym or in bed. It was
amazing considering every time I had sex with Jake I was constantly
worried about my body.
Harry was different, though. He was vocal about how much he loved
every curve and freckle. He hadn't once commented on my stretch marks on
the inside of my thighs, or blanched at them like I had once seen Jake do.
It was so very different with him.
 After I washed my hands I looked at my baby; he was smiling that
dreamy, soft smile, hand coming out of the water to beckon me. I breathed
out a laugh and took is hand, stepping into the bath carefully. Harry's other
hand held my hip as I sat down on the opposite end. His legs leaned against
the inside of the tub, while mine stretched, feet resting on his pelvis. Hands
found my calves and started kneading them making me moan and close my
eyes.
"You were perfection tonight, angel." He says quietly. "I'm sorry you had
to do all the work."
I smile and shake my head, "No, I liked it. A lot. Made me feel so good
to watch you come undone like that."
"Tell me."
"Hmm?"
"Tell me exactly how it made you feel."
I opened my eyes and met his. They studied my face as my fingers
mindlessly danced along the edge of the tub. "Made me wet," I smirked,
"obviously. Hot and throbbing... but also powerful and confident."
A bright smile spread across his sleepy face and his eyes gleamed in a
way I could only describe as pride.
"Loved seeing you like that, Emma. It was absolutely mesmerizing."
"I've never had so much control... Was never given the control." I
mumble.
He was silent for a moment, "Makes me mad how you were treated
before."
I don't answer him, looking down at the foamy water.
"You deserve to take control when you want and how you want it.
Deserve to feel powerful and confident and beautiful at all times, because
that's what you are, angel."
My heart clenched at his words and the sincerity in his voice. I closed my
eyes and exhaled deeply. Silence overtook us, neither caring to break the
spell we were in. His hands caressed any part of my legs, massaging my
feet in the warmth of the calming water.
My mind wanders. It's everywhere: with Harry, but then memories of
Jake and other exes filter in. When they made me feel lesser, moments
where I let it all get to me, breaking down by myself in the solitude of my
apartment. That all felt so distant now.
 Harry's words resonated within me, and not just his words from tonight.
His words from the start. Every compliment and praise he showered me
with filled my soul, healing the little cracks that had been there for years.
Even though I had said it was my time to take care of him, he had found
a way to do the same.
Chapter Nineteen

EMMA
I wish I was anywhere but here right now.
I was at my school in a tiny classroom with all the teaching and admin
staff saying goodbye to one of the crankiest old teachers we had. Out of
nowhere she had decided to retire. She told me in secret that her kids were
such assholes this year that she could only last three months until they
forced her to take her overdue retirement.
Mrs. Horus was cranky and intimidating, but I genuinely liked the old
woman. She never held back her words and liked to gossip about the other
teachers. She was who I had told me that the fifth grade art teacher Mr.
Carter had been huffing paints for the past twenty years. She always told me
that I was the only one she felt she could trust this information from
because I had a kind face. It had made my heart warm, and my spirit sadden
to see her go, so it was a big reason I didn't want to be there.
The other was because I was sore and too sensitive. Too sensitive, in fact,
that I couldn't sit down without wincing.
Last night after we got home from the gym, Harry had made good on his
promise to stuff his face in-between my legs. What I didn't know was how
many times he was going to do it. Once against his front door, closing it
quickly and pushing me against the hard wood. Second time in the kitchen
after he warmed up some dinner for us, taking the time to eat my ass while I
was bent over the counter. Third time in the shower. The fourth was in his
walk-in closet as he picked out some clothes for me to wear. The fifth had
me nearly crying from sensitivity when he brought out the finger vibrator I
had used on him just twenty-four hours previously. The sixth he didn't even
touch me, just setting me on the corner of his dryer while our workout
clothes dried. He stood leaning against the wall, stroking himself lazily until
I climaxed due to the high setting he put it on, body shaking, and falling to
the floor to get him in my mouth.
Finally he fucked me. Right in the hallway outside his bedroom, not
being able to make it to his room. Lying me down on the carpet, and lifting
my bottom half up, knees over his shoulders. I was so sensitive that I came
within minutes, squeezing him and milking him dry faster than we had ever
finished.
I had a swollen clit, dry pussy, and rug burns on my shoulders and neck,
but I loved it. It was a reminder of the complete mindless bliss I had been in
the night prior. And Harry had been so soft afterwards, carrying my limp
body to the bed, and spooning me. Then cooing me awake in the morning
with soft kisses and praises in my ear. I could tell how much he loved how I
pouted and whined at every little touch. It was driving him crazy and I
reveled in it.
I had been a bit on edge all week at work, because of Mrs. Horus'
retirement. That meant a new teacher had been hired, and I dreaded the idea
that Lauren would become a permanent fixture in the halls. I wouldn't know
until Monday, and I was glad I was busy this whole weekend. Harry and I
had decided to spend all day Saturday and Sunday morning together before
I had to be home to cook for Millie.
We had talked about trying role-playing, tossing around some ideas and
scenarios to think about. I had decided not to go out with them Friday night,
thinking maybe that would be a little too much. That would be four straight
nights with Harry, more than half the week, and while I enjoyed staying
with him in his bed, I didn't want him to get annoyed of me. I knew I should
probably back off a little if I wanted this to last for as long as possible.
There's no way if we kept up at this pace that he wouldn't get sick of me
come Christmas.
When the school day ended, I said my last goodbye to my classroom
neighbor, surprised by the hug she gave me, and started down the halls. I
was looking in my purse for my keys when I rounded a corner and walked
straight into a hard chest. I stumble back and look up with wide eyes to see
a man I've never met before.
He looked around my age, light brown hair that quiffed in a natural sort
of way. He had the beginnings of a beard, and a little dimple in his chin that
made him look boyishly cute. His eyes were blue and kind looking, a
surprised look adorned his face as well.
 "I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going." I tell him
apologetically.
"It's fine, love." I was stunned by his Irish accent for about a millisecond
before I realized how fitting it was. "I wasn't paying much attention either.
They gave me this map, and I still somehow got lost."
He motioned towards the paper in his hand, and I furrowed my brow.
"Here, let me see." I took the map they give out in the office and see a room
circled. It takes me a moment to realize it was the classroom next to mine.
"I can show you where this is. Right next to my classroom. May I ask why
you're looking for Mrs. Horus' old room?"
"Oh, you're a teacher as well?" He asks, a bright, happy smile crossing
his face. "I'm taking over that class on Monday."
"You're the new teacher?" I ask excitedly. This was great. As much as I
liked Lauren as a person, and the kids loved her, I really don't think I could
live with seeing her flirt with Jake every day.
He chuckles at my enthusiasm, "Yeah. You know, it's a relief t' see how
friendly the teachers are here. I've been t' some schools where it's like sixth
form all over again."
I groan, "Tell me about it. It's like they never grew up after graduation.
For the most part everyone is really great around here."
"Well, I'll be sure t' stick with you. Best t' be around a friendly face, you
know?" He says.
I smile at this, "Of course!" and then I realized, "Oh, I haven't even
gotten your name! I'm Emma Everly."
I shake his hand as he laughs, "Niall Horan."
Niall was pleasant to talk to as I showed him around. Mrs. Horus was
still in the classroom packing up, so she gave him the lowdown on his new
class. I took him on a tour of the school. It wasn't very big, but was bit like
a maze.
"You'll get used to it quick, I promise. Once you know the murals on the
wall, you'll never get lost again." I tell him.
He hasn't stopped smiling the entire time, and nudges me, "Well, thank
you for being so nice. Just moved here from Dublin, and it's nice t' know
someone before my first day."
I smile at him, but it fades quickly when I see Jake leaning against my
car, stony eyes moving back and forth between Niall and I. Out of the
corner of my eye, I see that Niall has noticed my sudden change in
demeanor. He looks ahead to see the tall man glaring at me.
"You okay, Emma?" He asks, "He someone who shouldn't be here?"
I looked over at him with wide eyes, "What? No, he's a teacher here too.
How about I, uh, introduce you."
I reluctantly walked us closer to my car, feeling the tension in my
shoulders increase. "Jake-"
"Thought you were seeing that guy from the bar." He said lowly,
obviously pissed, "Now you've got another. Should've known you were
desperate for attention when you fucked that guy in the bathroom at the
bar."
My face turned beat red as I felt humiliation wash over me. I looked
down, not wanting to look at either man. I knew what Jake would look like,
condescending and angry, but I didn't need to know what Niall would think.
I had just met him, and now he knows more about my sex life than most
people.
"I-" Niall starts, but is cut off by Jake.
"You should probably be more careful bringing your boy-toys to school,
Emma. Know you're a slut, but fucking them in the classroom is a big no
no." He taunts cruelly.
I wince at his words, blinking back my tears when I was pulled away
from him. I looked up with wide eyes to see Niall leading me away, his face
red with anger.
"Uh, Niall-" I try and say, but nothing comes out after.
"You don't need t' say anything, love. I've seen that shite before. He an ex
of yours?" He asks. I'm surprised he could tell so fast. I nod meekly. "Bad
breakup?" I nod again, "Right, well why don't I drive us t' a bar or
somethin'? You can either tell me all about it, or we can just drink in peace.
Beer's on me."
I smile sadly, but I know exactly where I want to be, "Actually, some of
my friends go to a bar every Friday. You want to come? I'm sure you'll get
along."
I didn't care that I was inviting Niall to meet people that I barely knew,
all I needed was to see Harry. I knew he couldn't say or do anything while
everyone was around, but just his presence would calm me, so when Niall
agreed and opened the car door for me, a few stray tears running down my
cheeks I counted down the seconds until I felt taken care of again.
 †††
"Do I look like I was crying?" I asked Niall, looking at myself in his
visor mirror.
I turned towards him and he smiled, "No, love. Look wonderful."
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. I had a bit of a minor breakdown in his
car. He tried to comfort me, but I was beyond help. I shook it off, however,
apologizing profusely to him only to have him wave his hand at me and say,
"It's okay, lass. Would've cried too if my ex had been that mean."
"Please, don't tell anyone tonight. They don't need to worry about me." I
ask him. In all reality, I would've been mortified for Harry's friends to find
out. I didn't even want to tell Harry. I always kept Jake's words to myself. I
knew once Monday rolled around and Jake saw that Niall was a teacher at
our school that he would be kicking himself in the ass. He liked people to
think he was a golden boy: smart, charming, and kind, but he was really a
snake.
"Course not. Won't even mention it." Niall promises before we step out of
his car and into the bar.
While I was mortified that Niall heard and witnessed what he did, I was
more than grateful that he had been so kind. I'm sure once I was in the
confines of my own home, alone, and less emotional I would regret being
so open around him, but I was too focused on finding Harry to care at this
moment.
The moment we entered my eyes searched for their booth. They were all
there, seemingly having a good time. My heart hurt a little as I watched,
knowing my time with them was limited. Naomi saw me first, a bright
smile crossing her face. I could see her say something, and then they all
turned their heads. I smiled and waved, my eyes finding the green ones I
needed, but they weren't looking at me.
Instead they were focused on the Irish boy behind me, a stern look
crossing his face. I internally rolled my eyes, not having the patience or
time for jealousy tonight.
"Hey guys." I greeted them.
"Thought you weren't coming?" Naomi asked.
"Yeah, changed my mind. Car wouldn't start," I lie easily, "so Niall gave
me a ride, and he just moved here and doesn't know anyone. I hope you
don't mind?" I ask nervously, now suddenly feeling anxious that I've done
so.
 "Niall? That's an Irish name." Maura says.
Niall chuckles, "Sure is. Looks like I've got some company."
Maura scoots over on the booth and pats her hand down for him to sit.
She starts asking him where he's from, but I stop listening. The only spot
open is right next to Harry, who still hadn't smiled since I got here. I knew
he wasn't happy that I showed up with another guy, which frustrated me.
He stood up, gesturing for me to take a seat, so he could sit on the end. I
pressed my lips together in a thin smile and looked at him as I passed him.
For the first time since I entered, he looked at me, his eyes previously
trained on Niall. The annoyed furrow in his brow quickly changed to one of
concern. Of course he could tell right away that something was off.
I exchanged a quick hello with Oliver who then turned back to Mike and
continued their conversation. Everyone else was listening in amusement to
Maura and Niall, their accents even thicker now that there was someone to
talk to. I could easily sense the interest they had in each other. Maura was
leaning close to Niall, and he seemed to be fixated on her lips.
I leaned back into the cushion just watching everyone when Harry's leg
rested against mine. I closed my eyes for a second, gathering myself, and
looked over. He was looking at me, studying me, trying so hard to figure
out what was wrong.
When his attention was turned to Lu, I leaned forward, elbows on the
table. "Harry, what time are you meeting Jason and the kids?"
He looked at her confused, and she rolled her eyes, "Of course you
forgot. You're going to the football match with him and the kids."
My heart sunk when he said, "Right, I did forget. I think he said to meet
at his place at one. The game starts at four, but traffic will be quite rough."
That meant are plans were canceled. He wouldn't have time for me
tomorrow, which was understandable. Family came before whatever we
were.
"So you'll be out pretty late?" Lu asks her brother.
"Yeah, we usually get dinner afterwards and the kids are always wired
and running around the place. Probably won't even get back home until
midnight, honestly."
I felt him shift next to me, moving closer without making it look like he
did.
Luanne continued, "Alright... Well, I've been seeing this guy, and we're
going to this house party to watch the game on tv tomorrow, and I was
gonna see if you wanted to come out afterwards with us."
I could see Oliver's jaw clench, but he took a drink of his beer to hide it.
He caught my knowing eye, but looked away quickly.
"Em, why don't you come with us?"
My eyes widened at Lu, "Oh, um... what?"
She chuckled at my frazzled behavior, "The girls and Mike are all
coming over to this guys' friends house, and watching the game. I know
you're a fan, because you were wearing a Man U sweatshirt last week."
I blushed, and felt Harry squeeze my knee. That had been his sweatshirt I
was wearing. I actually still had it in my car. He'd probably want it back for
the game tomorrow.
Before I could answer she presses, "Plus I want your opinion on this guy
I've been seeing. Still not sure about him, and I trust your judgement on
men since your ex sucks balls."
I'm so surprised and warmed that my opinion even matters to her that I
blurt out, "Yeah, I'll go."
Harry's hand leaves my knee making me feel cold, but I refuse to look
over at him, not sure my heart can take any expression other than the one he
gives me in private.
"Amazing! Mike and I will pick you up, Em. Around three?" Naomi
suggests.
I nod my head, feeling my one buzz in my pocket. Dread washes over
me, expecting cruel texts from Jake, but instead it's from Harry.
From Harry: I'm sorry about Sat. Completely forgot I told my bro
that I'd help him with the kids at the game.
To Harry: It's fine. I totally get it.
From Harry: Can I make it up to you tonight?
From Harry: Come over.
From Harry: I want to see if you're still sensitive.
I bite my lip.
To Harry: Oh, I'm still very sensitive. Hurts to sit, baby.
He squirms next to me, knocking my knee with his.
From Harry: I'll go easy on you tonight. Please say yes.
From Harry: You can make it up to me for bringing a good-looking
guy around, making me all jealous and sorts.
I snort to myself, and give him a look. He smiles playfully at me, waiting
for my answer.
 To Harry: Fine.
To Harry: On one condition.
To Harry: You fuck me hard. Harder than ever before.
To Harry: I want to wake up with bruises since I won't get to have
you the way I've been daydreaming for the past twelve hours.
I glance over at him to see him making himself more comfortable, a tight
bulge formed in his pants. I smile to myself and put my phone away. He
grumbles a bit next to me, and pales quite a lot when Lu says she's got to
leave, because that means me, Harry, and Oliver have to stand up to let her
out.
And Harry is sporting quite the stiffy.
He says goodbye, jumping up from the table and heads to the restroom,
and I feel myself warm at the thought of him taking care of himself in there.
I almost have half a mind to go help him, but I get sucked in a conversation
with Maura and Niall. When Harry rejoins us about five minutes later he
settles in next to me, sitting probably too close, but I smiled at him
anyways. His leg rested against mine, foot nudging mine under the table,
keeping my mind off of things.
†††
Harry was really making it up to me.
He had made some excuse to Niall that he would make sure I got home
safe, but Niall didn't seem to pay attention too much, because Maura had
invited him out to more drinks with her and Oliver.
The moment we got into his house he grabbed my hand and shuffled
upstairs. He passed his bedroom door, however, and led me to the last door
down the hall. It was revealed as his office, muttering something about
wanting to fuck me in every room of his house.
He made good on my request, fucking me hard, pounding me from
behind as he spanked me while I was bent over his desk. It was exactly
what I needed, and I egged him on further, begging him to play with my
still swollen clit. I screamed out when he did, flipping me over so he could
see me spread out in front of him. I groped and pinched my nipples as his
fingers dug into my hips and his legs and pelvis hit my inner thighs over
and over, sure to bruise.
I couldn't wait to shower tomorrow and poke at the little purple marks
where his fingertips had been. I came twice before he was spent, carrying
me to the shower to rinse off and lying in bed with me. He let me mold my
body to his side, leg intertwined with his, and face buried into his neck. My
fingers played with his hair, and he didn't ask me one question.
It was obvious I had had another bad day. He knew by me asking to be
extra rough that I needed a distraction. But now instead of prying he
cuddled, and murmured soft assurances to me, talking idly about something
meaningless. It was exactly what I needed. He knew exactly what I needed
without being asked. Something that I've never been on the receiving end
of.
I was fucked.
†††
When Mike and Naomi pulled up to the house my blood went cold, my
heart sped up, and I wanted nothing more than to run away.
I knew this house.
I have been to this house.
If this was the friend of Luanne's flings house then I knew exactly who
would be inside.
"Oh god." I choke out.
"Wha- Oh, Emma, you don't look so good." Mike tells me as he turns
around in the drivers seat.
Naomi looks at me too, "What's wrong."
"Um..." I don't know what to say. I don't want to cause any drama by
going inside, but I don't want to make them drive back into the city after
we've come all this way. "I know the guy who lives here."
Surprise crosses Naomi's face, "Really? How?"
I looked at her, "He's a friend of my ex."
The surprise leaves her and a stony look replaces it, "That asshole you
told us about on Sunday?"
I nod my head, "Yeah, his best friend lives here."
"We don't have to go inside. I can still make an excuse not to show."
Mike suggests.
I shake my head this time, "No, it's fine. I'll be fine. We're all adults here,
and Lu said she wanted me here. She was texting me all morning about this
guy."
"Are you sure?" Naomi asks.
"Yeah, I'll get over it. C'mon." I say quickly, stepping out of their car and
walking up the familiar steps to the house before I lost my nerve.
 I felt them right behind me, the sound of Mike's car locking as I rang the
doorbell. My breath hitched when the door opened way too fast for me to
calm down properly, and suddenly I'm standing face to face with Mitchell.
"Emma?" He looks at me with a frown, his eyes gaze up and down my
body making me squirm as I felt his judgement. "Look, this isn't a good
time-"
"I was invited, Mitchell." I say flatly.
"Oh, and by who? Jake won't want you here."
I ignore the stab to the heart that caused me and retorted, "No, I'm a
friend of Luanne's. I came with Mike and Naomi here."
Mitchell finally realized there were people behind me, and changed his
whole demeanor. He straightened up and wiped off the slight look of
disgust on his face and greeted them, shaking their hands and inviting us in.
I saw a frown on Naomi's face and Mike's distrusting eyes, his hand resting
on the middle of my back as we walk in. It was comforting having the two
of them with me. I'm sure if I drove myself then I would've never made it
inside.
I swallowed down my nerves as I rounded the corner and walked into his
giant living room. It seemed as though everyone was there already. Maura
noticed us first, walking over with, surprisingly, Niall in tow.
I furrow my brow, eyes flicking in-between the two of them, "Hey, you
guys. Niall, I didn't realize you wold be coming."
His face turned a shade of pink and he looked at Maura who held her
head high, "I invited him. We were hanging out all day, so I thought why
not?"
"Oh, just all day, huh?" Naomi teases the Irish beauty.
Maura rolls her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you what: We've been here for
about thirty minutes, and I don't like a single one of 'em."
I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face, but it was Naomi who
said, "Not surprising. The guy who opened the door was a right pick. Get
this, Emma knows these guys. They're all her exes friends."
Maura's eyes bugged out of her head when I groaned, "I told you I didn't
want to make it a big deal."
Naomi held her hands up, but Niall said, "Wait, your ex? That guy from
yesterday at school?"
I gave him a look telling him not to say anything further, but he just
raised his eyebrows and waited for my response. Reluctantly, I said, "Yeah,
Jake."
"Which one is he?" Maura asks, scanning the crowd.
There were only about six of them here, all paying attention to each
other, not noticing our little circle of five. I didn't see Jake or Lauren
amongst them, and I thought for a second that I might get lucky today.
"Not here. He'll bring Lauren, his girlfriend, I'm sure." I tell them.
That's when Lu notices us, dragging Marcus over to us. I groaned
internally. Marcus was one of the worst. He absolutely hated me, and I
knew he had a thing for cheating on his girlfriends.
The moment his eyes met mine, I saw all that hate that had followed me
for two years. When they stopped in front of us, Luanne cheerily introduced
us, "These are my other friends, Naomi, Mike, and Emma."
He looked back at Luanne in surprise, "You're friends with Emma?"
She looked just as surprised and asked, "You know her?"
I was trying really hard not to fidget, but my body was expressing my
nerves outwardly. My lip felt raw as I chewed on it, shoulders tense, and
arms crossed as a way to protect myself from whatever was coming my
way.
"Yeah, sorry, I'm just surprised." He turns to me, "I didn't think you
actually had any friends."
There's an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds before Luanne speaks
stonily, "Well, she does."
Marcus looks back at her and tries to backtrack, "Sorry, that sounded
really rude. I just meant that she was always with us, and I never heard her
talk about anyone else."
"It's fine. I didn't take it that way." I say quickly. "It's good to see you
again, Marcus. If you don't mind I'm going to swing into the kitchen and get
myself a drink."
"You know where it is." He gestures to his left.
I make a quick exit, and feel Naomi and Maura following behind. I was
relieved that they wanted to stay by my side, but I also didn't want to have
to explain the dynamic of the group to them. I didn't have to worry about
that, however, because when I entered the kitchen I came face to face with
Carly and Zara.
They had that same look of surprise on their face as the guys, but soon
squealed obnoxiously and ran to hug me. I hugged them back
unenthusiastically, giving Maura and Naomi a look that told them
everything they needed to know.
"Em, what are you doing here?! Did Jake finally take you back, and ditch
that girl?" Carly asks.
I wince at the thought, and also that they are obviously treating Lauren
exactly how they treated me when I first met them. "Uh, no... I came with
some friends of mine. Marcus is dating Luanne, who... is also a friend of
mine." I tell them awkwardly.
Zara cocks her head, "Oh, well, we've missed you Em! It's not the same
without you, we swear."
"I'm sure." I mumble, sidestepping them to get a beer. There was no way
I was going to sit through this game without alcohol.
"So, you're Emma's old friends." I hear Maura say.
I grab two beers, both for myself, and settle at the counter with the girls. I
keep my distance from Zara and Carly, practically chugging my first bottle.
"Best friends." Carly answers, almost like she's staking claim over me.
I frowned at this. I haven't spoken to either of them in probably six
months. They ignored all my calls and texts to hang out after Jake broke
me. They had no right to call me that.
"How did you meet Em?" Zara asks.
"She goes to my husbands gym, and he invited her out to meet us."
Naomi tells them, getting her and Maura a beer as well.
Zara laughs, "Em at the gym? No way."
"Bet that must've been a nightmare, huh, Em?" Carly asks me like I'm in
on the joke. I feel myself shrink at their jabs, but like always she doesn't
notice. She turns back to my friends, "Emma makes the worst first
impressions. Bet she came off as a right snob?"
If looks could kill then Carly and Zara would surely be dead. Naomi was
clearly biting her tongue, but Maura had no qualms in saying, "Actually, no.
Thought she was a doll. One of the nicest girls I've ever met, honestly. She
must've just felt more comfortable with us." She ends with a shrug of
innocence.
I could see Zara not liking Maura one bit, especially after that comment.
Naomi and Maura are the exact girls Carly and Zara would stay away from.
They were the opposite of me: confident, outspoken, and carried themselves
well. They weren't easy targets like me.
 "Well," Zara turned to me, "I'm glad you're doing better. I know the
breakup was hard on you."
I clenched my jaw, "Yeah, it's good not to have a parasite stuck to my
side anymore."
I surprised myself with that comment, as well as Zara. I had never said
anything remotely rude to them, or spoken badly about Jake. They weren't
the ones I went to to vent if Jake and I fought, or he got drunk and belittled
me, so this was new. Naomi straight up laughed at my comment, while
Maura snapped her fingers like she was clapping at me.
I smile widely, "Why don't we go back to the living room. I bet the boys
are wondering where we are."
Maura grabbed my hand, praising me for my one line against them. I
didn't think it was all that impressive, but I did thank Maura for sticking up
for me.
"Of course, babe. Why wouldn't I." She answered back like the idea of
not speaking up for me was absurd.
I couldn't tell her that no one had ever done that before. I had always
taken their side comments and back-handed insults silently, Jake always
telling me that they meant no harm. Seeing them now, all of them, made me
realize just how unhappy and toxic this friend group is. Even to themselves.
Zara was constantly talking shit about Carly, and I knew for a fact that
Carly had cheated on Mitchell many times, and I had a sneaking suspicion
she had a crush on Jake himself, which would explain why she was always
prying and causing little tifs between us.
I stuck to the girls side, joining Mike and Niall on the sectional. I noticed
how Luanne looked uncomfortable talking to Marcus now, sneaking
glances over at me here and there. I wonder what he said to her. What lies
he told her while we were in the kitchen, and I wondered if a part of her
believed him.
They weren't that serious, but I had an obligation to tell Lu what I knew
about him and how he treated women. Whether or not she took my advice
was up to her.
Just then Jake walked in, Lauren following behind him. I stiffened and
held my breath as he immediately noticed me. He looked confused and then
he saw Niall. Now he looked pissed. I looked at Niall and saw the same
expression on his face as he leaned down to whisper something in Maura's
ear. Her eyes jumped up to see the man that just entered. She nudged
Naomi, and it went on.
It was obvious to them just who he was. He introduced himself to my
friends, skipping over me like I was no one, and ended with Niall.
"Believe we met yesterday, mate." Niall said in a clipped tone.
"Right." Jake answered, eyes moving up and down Maura's body next to
Niall. Niall's jaw clenched, and his arm wrapped around her waist. Jake's
eyes shot to mine, testing my reaction to Niall's claiming of Maura, but I
didn't give him anything.
"We'll be seeing each other a lot." Niall says lowly.
Jake nods his head, "Yeah, Marcus seems to really like Luanne, so I
expect so."
Niall chuckles, "Nah, I'm the new teacher replacing Mrs. Horus."
Realization crosses his face, "Oh, yeah?"
Niall just nods his head. The awkward silence is interrupted by Lauren,
who comes back from the restroom. Her eyes light up when she sees me,
"Emma, hey! I didn't expect you to be here!"
"Hey, Lauren." I smiled politely at her.
She seems to understand the situation quickly, "Oh, wait, did you come
with Lu's friends? So that's who you're always so busy with when I invite
you to hang out with us."
"You've got me." I send her a tight-lipped smile. It was easy for Naomi
and them all to realize how pathetic my life was now. I had no friends. No
self esteem. No life in general. There was no way they would see me the
same way anymore.
I simultaneously wished Harry was here while being relieved that he
didn't witness this.
Lauren sat and talked with us for a bit, which meant that Jake followed
her lead. Mitchell brought him a beer, taking a seat next to Carly. He
wouldn't even look at me as I conversed with his new girlfriend. I was
friendly and respectful as I always was, but it seemed to piss him off even
more.
A few minutes before the game was scheduled to start, he finally said,
"Emma, can I talk to you for a moment?" Lauren looked at him
suspiciously, but he just smiled, "Just something about work, honey."
I winced at his nickname, remembering the many times he called me that.
"Uh, sure." I answered.
 I refused to look at anyone, feeling too many eyes on me, and fled the
room quickly. I ended up in the front hallway, Jake only a few seconds
behind me.
"What do you want, Jake?" I ask exhaustingly.
Suddenly my back was against the wall, his hands trapping in my head,
and his eyes were a dark, furious shade, "What the fuck do you think you're
doing."
"I didn't know that Luanne was dating your Marcus, okay? I didn't know
until we pulled up to the house, and I didn't want to make it a big deal."
Jake scoffed. "What? Do you really think I would come here and subject
myself to your friends willingly?"
"Don't talk about them like that." He warns, "They did nothing to you."
At this I scoff, "Please, you know full well how awful they were to me.
Bet Lauren's having a blast trying to stomach hanging out with those
leaches."
His hand lifted off the wall and acted as if it were going to punch the spot
next to my face, but he held back. It didn't stop me from flinching. When I
opened my eyes again, he smirked at me.
"Little Emma's jealous of my new girl, huh? I knew it." He taunts nastily.
I cringe, "As if. If you remember correctly, Jake, I'm the one denying you
all the time now."
The smug look on his face disappears, "Not for long. Soon you'll realize
what you're missing and crawl right back to my cock, begging to suck it like
you were for months after I dropped you."
I sunk back from my momentary confidence, "No, I won't."
His eyebrows raised, "Oh, really? Looks like that new teacher is already
sick of you. Moved on to a much more beautiful woman, I must say. A bit
jealous. I would let her-"
"Don't talk about her like that." I interrupted.
"Look who likes to defend her new friends." He says, bringing his finger
to curl around a strand of my hair. I ignore the feeling in the pit of my
stomach, one that is trying to tell me something. "You know... I commend
you for trying. You went out and found a group of people who were willing
to take in a mangy, dirty stray when you know that they're just gonna get
bored and leave you like everyone else does. That teacher in there left you.
I'm sure the guy at the bar has fucked you enough to know he could do
better like I d-"
 "Shut up." I say through a clenched jaw.
A sick smile forms on his face as he breathes out a laugh. I can smell the
alcohol on his breath making me turn my face away from him. "I found a
sore spot, didn't I? Did you like that guy, Emma? Did he make you feel
special?"
I closed my eyes and exhaled a deep breath to keep calm. My face was
still turned away when I felt him inch closer, whispering into my ear, "He's
just gonna leave you, Emma. Why can't you realize that? No one's going to
love you like I do, but you're just not enough. You never will be. That guy's
going to see who you really are, baby, and he's going to leave you broken-
hearted and alone. Just like you'll always be."
I pushed him away roughly, my face contorted with anger, but before I
get to say anything, Lauren pops around the corner, "Hey, the game's
started. What are you two still talking about?"
I blinked away my tears, while Jake put on a fake smile. I could see the
unease in Lauren's body as she watches the both of us. I force a smile out,
"Nothing, we were just talking about a goodbye gift we're sending Mrs.
Horus. I've got to make a quick call, actually, so I'm going to step out for a
moment. I'll join everyone soon."
I hastily open the front door and walk outside. The fresh air is filling my
lungs, relaxing me somewhat. I needed to get out of there. I couldn't do it.
Not after what he said. His words spun around in my head, chipping away
at whatever self esteem I had built for myself since our breakup. It was all
too real, too raw.
My hands shook as I walked down the street and ordered an Uber. I knew
it would cost a fortune to get back home, but there was zero chance of me
walking back in there and asking Mike to take me home in front of
everyone. I'm grateful that I hadn't brought a bag, just my phone, but
wished I had brought a heavier coat. It was chilly as I stood on the corner of
his street. I sighed in relief when I saw a car stop in front of me. I checked
the license plate, and stepped into the back seat.
The driver didn't seem like a talker, so the moment we drove out of his
neighborhood I sent a quick group text to my friends, telling them I'm
heading home. I sent Luanne a personal text, apologizing and telling her I'll
talk to her in the morning.
I couldn't breath until I stepped into my apartment, but something felt off.
I didn't feel that warmth that I usually did. I felt like I was missing
something, but I couldn't figure out what. I groaned out in frustration,
finally breaking down in tears, sinking to the floor in my empty home.
Chapter Twenty

HARRY
When I walked into the diner, I hadn't expected everyone to be there. I
thought it was just going to be Lu and Oli, but the rest of my friends were
there as well. Everyone except Emma.
I sat down with a head nod, ordering a coffee with our waitress before
tuning in on the conversation. Oliver was talking about a case he just closed
involving a stolen diamond at some arthouse. I listened quietly, interested in
the caper tale, almost not sure if it was even the truth.
"So, how was yesterday, Harry?" Oliver asks me after he's finished.
"A lot of fun, actually. Missed Jason and the kids. Wished they lived a bit
closer." I tell them the story of how my niece, Rosie, started badmouthing a
Liverpool fan in front of us, telling him their starters weren't nothing
compared to "ours."
Lu smiled, "That's my girl! Taught her well, I did." She says proudly, "I
wish I had gone. Yesterday was a total nightmare."
Maura huffed, and drank her orange juice, seemingly holding back a
comment. Luanne shot daggers at her across the table only confusing me
more.
"What happened?" Oli asked. I knew he worked that extra shift last night
on purpose, so he didn't have to sit through meeting another one of Lu's
flings.
"I don't even want to talk about it." Lu groaned.
I furrowed my brows, "Okay, you can't just say that and not expect us to
be curious."
She sighs and looks at the table, "Well, it turns out that Marcus is one of
Emma's exes best friends."
My jaw dropped at this, mind jumbled in my head. Why didn't Emma
call me last night? I ended up back home around eleven-thirty. It wasn't that
late. "I'm sorry... What? Emma's ex?"
Luanne nodded, "Yeah, it was so awkward, and I felt awful."
"Easy to see those pricks were her old friends who talked shite about
her." Maura mentioned.
"Yeah, when we opened the door, the guy was so cold towards her." Mike
interjected, and I found myself feeling guilty.
I should've been there.
"What exactly happened?" I asked quickly, needing more answers. I saw
Oliver watching me, but ignored his curious stare.
"She was fine for a bit." Naomi told me, "Stuck with us, didn't really talk
to them other than those two girls in the kitchen, but she took care of that. It
wasn't until her ass of an ex showed up that it got really bad."
"I should've just left after Marcus tried to tell me some bullshit about
Emma being a terrible person." Lu groaned frustratingly, "He really tried to
get me on his side, the bastard."
"Ugh, why didn't you?! Then we all could've left before Armageddon!"
Maura says loudly, obviously frustrated.
"Maura, you didn't have to go all she-hulk on them-" Naomi tries to say.
"Yes, I did! I wasn't gonna sit there and let Zara or whatever the fuck her
name is talk about Emma like she's- she's- ugh, still makes me so mad!"
I'm getting frustrated at the fact that they can't just give me a linear
timeline of what Emma had to sit through, and Oliver can tell, saying, "Can
you guys just tell us what happened?"
Everyone looked at Luanne who sighed again, "Well, when Emma's ex
and his new girlfriend showed up it was... awkward is honestly too nice of a
word. His girlfriend, Lauren, was actually super nice, and was talking to
Em like they were good friends-"
"I did think that was weird." Mike said.
"Yeah, I talked to Em this morning, and she told me that Lauren doesn't
know that her and Jake used to date."
"You talked to Emma? She hasn't text me back." Naomi mutters.
She nods, "I called her this morning to apologize. Told her I was really
impressed by how nice she was being to her exes girlfriend considering
how badly that guy was glaring at her." Luanne said.
I clenched my jaw at this, holding back my anger.
Maura spoke up, "Yeah, Niall was about ready to deck him. Said that him
and Emma ran into Jake after school on Friday before they met up with us,
and he basically called her a slut, and implied that she was sleeping with
Niall at the school or something."
I closed my eyes at this. I could only imagine what he had actually said,
and now Friday night made sense. "What else." I asked gruffly.
Lu sent me a look before continuing, "Jake pulled her aside to talk before
the game started..."
"And then what?" I asked again.
Oliver kicked my shin under the table, making me jump back. He
mouthed "calm down" to me, and I realize I was almost shaking.
"Well, she never came back. Lauren went to go get them, and she came
back with Jake, both looking disgruntled, but Em just text us and said she
got an Uber home."
"She wouldn't answer any of our texts last night." Naomi added, "I'm
surprised she answered your call this morning. Is she okay? Did she tell you
what he said?"
Luanne shook her head, "No, I called her to let her know I ended things
last night, and she was apologizing about causing a scene or some shit, but
she did tell me that Marcus is a known cheater and treats women like dogs,
so good riddance. Can't believe he had me fooled so well."
I rolled my eyes, knowing full well that Luanne always fell for assholes.
Oliver cleared his throat, "That doesn't really sound like Armageddon-"
"Oh, that would be Maura and Mike, here." Naomi said, obviously
annoyed.
They both threw their hands in the air, Mike saying first, "They got what
they deserved."
"Okay, what did you two do?" Oliver asks.
Maura rolled her eyes, "Lauren dragged Jake off to the kitchen, hopefully
to yell at the fucker, but then Zara said something like she "bets they fucked
in the bathroom" or something, and then one of the guys started laughing,
basically calling her a whore who was "up for anything"."
I thought for a second that the glass in my hand was gonna break. Maybe
it was a good thing I wasn't there, because I would've killed him for saying
that.
"So, I stuck up for Em, calling out her old friends, while Mike just
straight up got in the guys face. Niall had to hold him back." Maura
finished.
 I felt a rush of gratitude towards my two friends, glad that they had stuck
up for her.
"We left right after that, obviously, but not before Maura yelled at the rest
of them calling them all a poor excuse for friends." Naomi said with a small
snicker.
Maura shrugged, "No wonder the poor girl is so shy and has low self
esteem. If those were my friends then I would too. Fuck, they were awful."
I had to sit through the rest of breakfast knowing that Emma had
probably needed me last night, but had never called. That worried me. It
worried me that she dealt with it alone. I could just imagine what kind of
things her ex says to her. He probably knew every way to hurt her possible.
My blood boiled at the thought.
I ate quickly, leg bouncing under the table, ready to head out, but I told
Luanne I would take her to the store after we eat. My mind was anywhere
but with my sister. I mindlessly followed her around the store while she
filled up her cart, talking about nothing.
"Okay, what is going on with you?" Lu stops right in front of me, causing
me to run into her.
"Shit, why'd you stop like that?" I huffed.
"Because you're being weird!" She huffs right back, giving me a look
daring me to deny it.
I breathed out through my nose, moving around her and pushing the cart
forward. I wanted this trip to be over with. I wanted to be back home where
I could call Emma in peace, not having to worry about prying ears.
"Is this about Emma?" She asks me, running up besides the cart and
staring me down.
I looked at her, furrowing my brows, "What? Why would it be?"
She raised her eyebrows at me and rolled her eyes, "You know, you're
losing your touch, Harry. You used to be able to hide your feelings a lot
better."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Fine, I won't say it." She's quiet for a few seconds, arms crossed before
she continues anyways, "It's okay to be worried about her."
"Yeah, I know." I mumble, "She's our friend, and I just feel bad that I
wasn't there to help, I guess."
I silently groan to myself, hearing how fake that sounded, Luanne eyeing
me with a knowing look.
 "Honestly, I don't think there was much any of us could've done." Lu
concedes, "I can't even believe she walked into that house. I would've split
so fast. Just text you guys saying I was ditching and then talk shit about all
of them! She was trying to be so amiable too! Fucking Marcus insinuated to
her face that she didn't have any friends, and she brushed it off, covering his
ass saying she didn't take it that way."
"He said that?" I asked lowly, trying to calm myself, "Was it really as bad
as Maura and them made it seem?"
Lu cringed a bit before answering, "Yeah, it was awful. The most
awkward tension I've ever sat through, and it wasn't even Emma. She really
tried, for the most part. She greeted them all kindly and then just sat with
us, keeping to herself." She pauses. "I'll tell you what, though... That Jake
guy she dated, he's a piece of fucking work. Didn't hide his disdain for her
one bit. Makes me curious as to what happened between them, but Emma's
so private..."
I bit my tongue not wanting to say too much. It struck me right there how
little Emma and I had talked about why we were doing what we were doing.
Sure, we wanted someone to trust and explore those parts of us, but there
was also an underlying stressor.
Mine was my work and unhappiness with where my life was going,
clinging on to the first person who has made me feel anything in years. She
knows a little about that due to last Wednesday.
And I know she's lonely. I know she went through a bad breakup, but
she's strayed so far away from telling me anything that matters.
I didn't know to what extent she was hurting, or how he treated her. She
had to see him five days a week. No wonder she was killing herself at the
gym for months. Honestly she had been working out too much. I saw it
every time she would come off the treadmill, breathing too hard, having to
rest for minutes upon minutes before she could even lift her head.
"She reminds me a lot of you, honestly."
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down at my sister, "Huh?"
She rolled her eyes, "We've talked about this, H. You like your privacy.
You don't like people asking you questions you don't want asked. I get the
feeling Emma's a lot like that, except she's nicer about not answering
questions. You'll just tell us to fuck off whereas she's one to change the
topic."
 "She's too nice." Is the only thing I can think of to say back, and it's true.
Emma's always been kind and thoughtful, and I think that can put her in
positions and situation that allow her to get hurt.
"That she is. It's admirable, really." Lu says as she picks out pasta
noodles, "Wish I could be a bit more like her."
†††
I've been packing around the house for hours, cleaning and tidying up,
waiting for Emma to call me back or answer my text. After I dropped
Luanne off at her apartment, I called her in the car in case she wanted me to
come to her. She didn't answer, so when I got home I sent her a text:
To Emma: Heard what happened last night. Fuck that guy and all
his shitty ass friends. You've got us now, angel. Let me know if I can do
anything for you.
I had almost added a "miss you" to the end, but thought that might be a
bit much. I got the feeling that the text in general was a bit too much, but I
was trying not to overthink it. I had to physically stop myself from double
and triple texting her, knowing then I would surely scare her away.
I was driving myself crazy as an hour turned into two, which turned into
three. She had never ignored one of my texts. In fact, she was always very
prompt at getting back to me. It was a little thing that made me like her all
the much more.
When there was literally not one bit of my house that wasn't spotless, I
sat down and turned on the tv for some form of a distraction. Forty-five
minutes of staring blankly at some cooking show, my phone buzzed.
From Emma: Thanks. I'm okay, Harry. I'll see you at the gym
sometime this week.
I stared at the text, almost mad at how little her response gave me. She's
not okay. There's no way she was. If she was perfectly fine there would've
been an emoji and she would've called me baby. I've exchanged enough
texts with her over the past few weeks to know her texting style.
Before I knew what I was doing, my phone was to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Naomi, I need Emma's address." I said point blank.
There was silence on the other end, "Oh, really? And why would you
need that?" She teased.
I held back a curse, "Not right now, okay? Can you just send me it, or
not?"
 "Geez, calm down, Harry. I'll send it to you, yeah? I will want an
explana-"
I hung up on her and gathered my things, waiting for Emma's address to
come through. The moment my phone buzzed, I took off.
†††
I felt nauseous now that I was standing in front of her door. I didn't know
how she would react to me just showing up. It was probably a little creepy,
considering she had always been keen on coming over to my place instead
of hers. I suggested it once, but she distracted me by saying how
comfortable my bed was and then proceeded to ride me on it.
I swallowed my nerves and knocked on the door. I waited a while,
thinking maybe she wasn't home when the door opened.
It wasn't Emma. It was a younger girl who was very clearly pregnant. Her
stomach was big and round, and I wouldn't be surprised if her water broke
right in front of me.
"Hello?" She asked confused.
"Uh-" I shook my head, "I'm sorry. I must have the wrong apartment."
"Are you here for Emma?" She asks before I could turn around.
I froze. This was the moment I could just say no, and walk away and
Emma would never know any better. But the need in the pit of my stomach
was stronger.
"Yeah... yeah, I am. Is she here?"
The girl nods, "Come in. I'm Millie, by the way."
"Harry." I say, suddenly remembering it was Sunday and it was the night
she had reserved for her friend.
"Harry?" She asked me, a look of understanding crossing her face.
I gathered that Millie was Emma's one person. She was her Oliver, which
made this a million times more awkward. I wonder just how much Emma
confides in her.
"Uh, yeah." I smile awkwardly.
She just hums a I finally step inside. It's a small apartment but cute,
decorated very nicely for looking so shifty from the curb outside. I smile
more comfortably knowing this is just very Emma.
"Harry?"
My eyes shoot to hers. She's got a roast in her hands, right out of the
oven. She's looking at me like she thinks she's crazy, probably not quite
sure if she believes I'm actually here.
 "Hey..."
There's a beat of silence, "What are you doing here?"
"Wanted to make sure you were okay." I say, now unsure of myself.
"Well, isn't that sweet!" Millie says excitedly, giving Emma a look. "Why
don't you stay for dinner? Emma made a delicious roast, and she always has
way too much food left over for her own good."
I thought about it for a second, glancing at Emma who wasn't meeting
my eyes. I was hungry.
"Yeah, that sounds good." I answer.
Emma's head shoots up in surprise, round eyes staring at me in disbelief.
She clearly wasn't expecting me to stay, not with Millie around, but fuck it.
I came all the way here, most likely blowing our cover with Naomi, so I
was gonna stay and make sure she was alright tonight.
I watched her closely to see if she was mad, but she just seemed
surprised, a slight pink to her cheeks as she made my plate for me. She
didn't have a dining room table, so we sat on her couch. Emma was quiet
nearly the entire time, Millie probing and asking me questions about my
life. It was amusing to see the little looks they gave each other. They felt
more like sisters than anything else.
It wasn't until later when Emma was done packing up a huge bag of
leftovers for Millie that I started to get nervous again. I was finally going to
get her by myself, but now I didn't know what to do. Should I pry until she
gives up and tells me, or should I distract her like we always do. Neither of
those felt right to me.
Emma, while she was hiding it the best she could, looked fragile. Even
when we were eating she was curled up into herself, staring at her food for
far too long before taking a bite. She kept anxiously checking her phone,
and was sometimes startled by Millie or I asking her a specific question,
like she wasn't listening to us.
Millie takes the containers and says, "Alright, well, I'll leave you two
be."
She starts to waddle towards the door, but she's carrying so much stuff I
had to offer, "Hey, wait up. I'll help you carry all that. You live a few doors
down, yeah?"
She looked up at me with gratitude, "Yeah, thank you so much, Harry.
She turns around at the door after giving me the food and points to Emma,
still cleaning up the kitchen, and says, "Watch out, Em, or I'll be stealing
this one from ya!"
Emma groans and blushes, giving me an apologetic look, but I just smile
at her and shake my head.
The walk down the hall takes no time whatsoever, Millie unlocking her
door, and letting me in to set her food on the counter.
Before I leave she stops me, "Harry, be careful with her, okay? Know
what you guys got going on is casual and all, but she's sensitive. Don't
break her."
I frown and admit, "'fraid she'll be the one to break me."
She give me a hard look, reading my face, trying to detect any lies, but
she won't find one. I smile and wave goodbye, heading back down to
Emma's apartment, letting myself in. She looks up from the sink when I
lock the door behind me, and I go straight to her.
"Why are you here?" She asks again.
I tilt my head as I peer down at her, "You weren't okay."
Her face scrunches up at my words, water forming in her eyes, and I pull
her into my body, hugging her tightly to my chest. I close my eyes and kiss
the top of her head, my heart breaking when I hear her sniffle.
"It's okay, angel. Let it out."
And she does. She cries into my chest, fisting at my shirt, and I let her.
As much as it's breaking my heart I am relieved that she's allowing me to
see her like this. She's trusting me with her feelings now without the
promise of sex or submission.
I don't know how long we stand there, with her crying in my chest, but
eventually her cries turn into whimpers and sniffles. She lifts her head
making mine lift as well.
"Thank you." Her voice was groggy, and her cheeks were red from her
tears. She looked exhausted, like she hadn't slept last night, and I would be
surprised if she didn't.
"Why don't you take a nice warm shower, and I'll clean the kitchen for
you, yeah?" I suggest softly.
"Can't make you do that." She mutters, knuckling at her eyes, "You're a
guest."
"None of that, angel. Least I can do for popping in unannounced." I tell
her sternly.
Reluctantly, she nods her head, "Alright."
 She walks down the hall looking so defeated, and I can barely hold back
tears myself. To think that someone has beaten her down so much. It pisses
me the fuck off that anyone would do that to her. She's so kind, so, so kind.
She's soft and caring, but a bloody vixen. She's a perfect juxtaposition.
I clean up the mess from dinner, bringing a pillow from her bedroom to
the couch. I fluff out the blanket as she walks back out. My heart surged
when I realize she's wearing a crew-neck of mine. She was wearing
women's boxers, the soft cotton hugging her bottom. She shuffled forward
in the most adorable way.
"Sorry my place is such a mess. Don't usually have people over." She
apologizes softly.
I furrow my brows and take her messy bun out of her hair to run my
fingers through. "Your place is cute. No need to apologize."
Her blue eyes peered up at me, her lips in a small pout, "Are you staying
tonight?"
"Do you want me to?" I ask.
She nods, "If you don't mind. Know my bed's not as comfy."
"Not what matters. Why don't we cuddle on the couch for a bit? We don't
have to talk about anything." I suggest, pulling her down to the couch with
me.
She turns around and wraps my arms around her when we lay down. Her
arm rests under the pillow, so I slip mine under with hers, my hand hanging
off the couch. My face presses into her neck and she sighs out.
"It's okay." I whisper into her skin. I tighten my hold on her and hold her
to my front.
We lay in silence for a long time. I turned the tv on and we watch
something mindless. I think she falls asleep for a little while in my arms.
It feels right. Holding her. Caring for her.
Her phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of us. My eyes go back to
the show, but it buzzes again and then a moment later. I lift my head and
furrow my brows. Her screen is lit up, but I can't see anything. I don't want
to pry, I know she wouldn't like that, but what if it's urgent. Who even triple
texts, though, unless it's an emergency.
It lights up again, so I decide to reach over carefully and check it in case
it's her mom or something. I click her screen open, no password needed,
and open her messages. My body stills the moment I read the first one. My
blood boils and I have to fight not to sit up. I scroll up and see the barrage
of terrible messages. It's disgusting and heartbreaking and infuriating what I
see that I almost get sick.
I swallow harshly as I keep scrolling, seeing the numerous times he's
harassed her. Not once did she text back. Not once did she tell him to stop,
or defend herself. It goes on for months and months, and I can't for the life
of me figure out why she hasn't blocked him.
I feel her move next to me, but I'm too enraged by the cruel words in
front of me to pay attention.
"Harry..." She mumbles out groggily, "What are you doing?"
I glance down at her, phone still in my hand, with a stony face. Usually
when she wakes up beside me I watch her in adoration, but tonight I'm lost.
I watch as she wakes up quickly, eyes darting to her phone.
"Why the fuck are you looking at my phone?" She asks sternly.
"What are these?" I turn her phone to her, revealing the message thread
I'm reading.
Her face goes pale and she reaches out for her phone, but I pull it out of
her grasp, finally sitting up. She follows my movements and says, "Give me
back my phone.
"What are these, Emma?" I ask again, slowly losing my cool.
"None of your business. Give it back." She demands, holding her hand
out.
We stare at each other for a long time, neither giving in.
"Emma..." I start as patiently as I can, "These- these texts are..." I'm at a
loss at how to describe them. There's ones where he's demeaning her, others
where he's bringing up obvious things from their past, and then there's
straight up threats.
"They're nothing, Ha-"
"Don't you dare say they're nothing. This is harassment."
She rolls her eyes, "You're making it a bigger deal than it is. Jake just
gets drunk and texts me stupid things." She tries to convince me, but now
she can't even look me in the eye.
I purse my lips. I turn the phone screen back on, and begin reading,
"Emma, you little bitch answer me. Stop ignoring my texts, I know you
want my cock. I can have you any time I want, because you're a desperate
slut."
She shakes her head and stands up off the couch, adding distance
between us. I stand up as well, but keep going, "You're nothing but my
whore. You belong to me." I scroll down further to two months ago, "How
dare you look at another guy. You realize that no man will ever love you.
You don't deserve it. They'll just toss you aside once they've soaked your
cunt dry like I did. Wonder how it feels to be someone's personal
cocksucker. You're mine, Emma."
"Stop." She whisper out, closing her eyes.
My heart hurts, but I push further, going to what he text tonight, "You
nearly ruined my relationship, cunt. How dare you come to my friends
house with those people. You think they like you? They pity you. They're
playing you. You're nothing, Emma, and if you ever try and pull that shit
again you'll regret it. Remember I know where you live. I have a key to
your piece of shit apartment. I can have you anytime I want in any..." I
swallow, not able to read what he said to her.
I look up to see her completely closed in on herself. Her arms are
wrapped around her torso, holding tight like they're the only thing keeping
her together. Silent tears stream down her round cheeks, and she's backed
up into a corner.
My legs walk me over to her quickly, tossing the phone on the couch as I
once again wrap my arms around her body. Her knees almost give out at the
contact, but I keep her steady.
"Don't tell me that's nothing." I whisper harshly into her ear, "It's
harassment and he's threatening you, Emma. He's threatening to hurt you."
She's shaking her head against me, "No, he's just drunk. He won't-"
"You don't know that." My hand fists her hair and pulls back so she looks
up, meeting my serious eyes. "Emma... this- this scares me. He has a key-"
"No," She says quickly, "I changed the locks months ago."
I give her a look, "You changed the locks? Because you were scared of
what he would do, right?" I read her. She looks down. "Look at me."
Reluctantly her eyes met mine. She sniffles, "At first it was just the mean
words. The slut shaming and possessiveness, but about two months ago he
started- uh, well..."
I nod my head, "You don't have to say it. Does anyone else know about
this?"
She swallows, "About a month ago, Millie saw some texts, but they were
fairly tame compared to what I'm used to."
"That's it?"
She nods, "I didn't want to make it a big deal."
 "Oh, angel," I say softly, cupping her cheeks in my hands, "you don't
deserve this. You don't deserve to be called what he's called you, to be
threatened to be-" I close my eyes and breathed through my nose to calm
myself. My hands were shaking a little as they held her face. I opened my
eyes and met her bright blue ones, even more striking because of the
redness from the crying. "You don't deserve it, love."
Her tears start up again, "I don't know why he hates me so much. What
did I do? He's the one who broke my heart. He's the one who used me, and
made me feel like shit every day. What did I do to deserve it?"
She's breaking down again, this time sobbing, breathing roughly. I pull
her back into my chest, and bring my lips to her ear, "Nothing. You don't
deserve this, Emma. You're so kind, and gentle, and loving, and he treats
you like this because he hates himself. He's full of hate and rage, because he
knows he isn't good enough for you. He's trying to bring you down to his
miserable level, angel, but he won't succeed. He won't get to you anymore.
He won't hurt you, I promise. You've got me, okay? And if I'm not there,
you've got Lu and Naomi and Maura. You've got Oliver and Mike who will
back you up, fuck, Mike even practically fought one the guys yesterday for
insinuating that you're easy."
"What?" She asks confused. I could tell there was snot all up in her nose,
and her throat was full of emotion, but I didn't care. "He- What? For me?"
I nod, pressing my lips to her head, "Yeah, him and Maura nearly started
World War Three after you left."
"But- but why would they do that?" She sputters out.
My heart aches, "Because they're your friends."
For some reason she's shaking her head, but I just hold her tighter. I can
sense how drained she is, physically, mentally, and emotionally. She needs
sleep desperately, but I want her to realize she's good enough for us. She's
good enough to be happy.
I cup her face again, looking at her seriously. Her cheeks are swollen and
red, shiny from the tears. There's snot dripping out of her nose, and she has
a scared look in her eyes. "Listen to me, angel." She nods her head, and I
feel a little relief. "You are so much more than him. You aren't nothing. If
you were what he calls you, then he wouldn't bother. He wouldn't be trying
to hurt you if you were any of those things. He's insecure. He's a coward.
He's ashamed of himself, so he tries to bring you down with him. But you
are so, so strong, Emma. You just keep going. If I had someone that I once
thought I loved saying that shit to me I would've given up so long ago.
Fuck, I can barely keep my life together as is, but you... oh, angel, you
prove to him every day that you're better than him. That you're better than
most people on this god forsaken planet. You're kind and sweet and
beautiful and sexy and loving and compassionate and generous and-"
"Alright, alright, I get it." She blushes, but I keep going.
"And passionate, can't forget that one, and sincere-"
"Harry." She chuckles, and small smiles start to form on our faces.
"And witty and arousing." I lean down close to her, her eyes trained on
mine. My lips graze hers and I whisper, "You're everything."
I go in for a kiss, but she pulls away, "Harry, I've got snot everywhere.
You don't want to kiss me."
"I very much want to kiss you."
She pouts and shakes her head, "No, give me a sec."
And like that, she's trotting off to the bathroom. I smile softly at her,
following along like a lost puppy. I watch in amusement, leaning against the
door frame as she blew her nose violently, splashed some water on her face,
and coughed to clear her throat. Her face was still puffy and she was still
sniffling her little nose, but she looked lighter. Like I had somehow released
some pain from her.
"Do I get my kiss now?" I ask her.
She gives me a look before strolling up to me, and leaning up on her toes
to meet my lips. She kissed me with fervor. She was thanking me with her
lips, gratefulness clear in her body language, but when she separated and
stepped away I stepped even closer to her. My hand cups underneath her
ear, fingers threading through her hair, thumb grazing over her cheek bone.
Her breath hitches as I lean down and whisper, "You're so special, Emma.
Don't ever forget that."
I take her bottom lip in mine, and kiss her like I've never kissed her
before. It's full of passion and adoration, and the best part is that it's not
meant to lead anywhere. I didn't want to strip her clothes off like usual. I
just wanted to hold her and cuddle with her.
Chapter Twenty-One

EMMA
I wake up in a daze, almost like I have no clue where I am. I can see the
familiar surroundings of my bedroom, but there's an arm around me, and a
light, even puff of breath that hits my neck every few seconds. I blink my
eyes, trying to focus more on what's going on when it all washes over me.
Harry.
Harry had come over last night and... well, I don't even know what to
think.
Somehow he broke through. All the walls I had put up, all the time I had
spent trying to hide how bad it was, was futile. All he had to do was hold
me to make it all go away, but then he found the texts.
He had discovered my worst secret, and then made me realize just how
bad it was. For months I had tried to reason with myself that Jake was just
drunk and going through shit, but Harry was right: what he was doing was
harassment. Coupled with his inflammatory threats, things were bad, and
were putting me in a bad mind space.
Although, nothing has technically happened to change what Jake was
doing I felt lighter. I don't know how he did it, but Harry had made me feel
better last night. He held me and let me cry and snot all over his shirt. He
didn't even get grossed out at the thought of kissing me like that.
Slowly, but surely, I had started to let his words mean something to me. I
trusted Harry, but, most importantly, I believed Harry.
And that meant the world to me.
It scared me, though.
It scares me how much I rely on him and his friends. It scares me that this
will end and I'll be left alone again. It's terrifying, but I push that fear aside
to enjoy the moment. Take one day at a time.
 Today, I get him. I get to wake up next to him in my apartment, no shame
running through me. I shifted in his arms, turning around to face him. My
clock said we had about thirty minutes to wake up, and all I wanted to do
was look at him.
He was so beautiful. His jaw was sharp, lips full, brows strong and full of
expression. I wished I could see his eyes. I should explore his face more
often, but sometimes it all feels too unreal. Like there's no way Harry could
be lying here, next to me, holding me.
It didn't make much sense to me. Harry could have someone thinner,
prettier, and with way less baggage, but he chose me.
My fingertips trace over his cheekbone and through his messy hair. He
hums in his sleep, arm tightening around my back, and a light smile playing
on his lips. So beautiful.
With how long I stare at him, I'm sure it constitutes me as a creep, but
when his eyes start to open and he finds me staring at him he full on smiles.
"Morning, angel." His raspy voice sends a bolt of lightning right through
me. "How'd you sleep?"
I hum out, "Okay... Much better than last night thanks to you."
He presses a chaste kiss to my forehead, "You look better."
"I am."
He takes his turn studying my face, and I let him. I close my eyes and
relish in his fingers on my skin, grazing over my lips, and tilting my chin up
for a soft kiss.
We grumble when my alarm goes off, but sluggishly get out of my bed. I
use the restroom first, getting ready quickly, not putting too much thought
into how I look. Just light foundation, some bronzer, blush, and mascara to
make me look presentable. My hair went up in a ballerina bun, and I went
out to the kitchen.
Harry presents me with my coffee, and pecks my lips. "I should probably
head out. I don't have any work clothes, so I have to stop off at home..."
I pout my lips, "Wasn't very smart of you, huh?"
He chuckles, "Wasn't thinking much, honestly. Just knew I had to see
you."
"How did you know where I live, by the way?" I ask.
"Yeah, might've called Naomi. She's probably a little suspicious of us."
I nod my head, "That's okay. If she asks we'll just make up some excuse."
 He plays with a loose baby hair on the back of my neck before hesitantly
saying, "I have a proposal."
I raise my brows at this, "Yeah? You know, I tend to like your proposals."
I cheekily say.
He smirks at me, "How would you feel if I taught you some basic self
defense?"
I'm definitely surprised, my head reeling back to get a better look at his
sheepish face. "Why?"
"Just- Uh, well, I just think it might be smart in case something, you
know... happens." He mumbles out.
It suddenly hits me that he's scared. He's scared Jake might do something.
I tilt my head and cup his jaw in my palm, "Would that make you feel
better?" He nods making sure to look me directly in the eyes. I make a
decision right there. "I'm going to block his number, too, so it might be best
that I learn something. He's probably going to be mad."
He sighs, "Angel, promise me you'll call if he says anything to you, or
comes here?"
I smile up at him, "I promise."
"So, we'll start tonight? Mike can help. We'll just say you asked me,
because you saw me boxing at the gym all the time. Used to teach a class
for kids back in uni as some community service." He adds.
"Harry Styles, are you trying to make me swoon?" I tease.
And if the smile that crosses his face doesn't make my day, then I don't
know what does.
†††
"Hey, Emma!"
I look behind me to see Niall jogging towards me from the parking lot. I
smile at him and wave, "Hey, Niall. You nervous for your first day?"
"A little. Over the weekend, Horus facebooked me with a cheat sheet for
all the kids, and they definitely seem t' be a rowdy bunch." He tells me,
readjusting his book bag on his shoulder.
I chuckle, "Doesn't surprise me. For the last three months she did nothing
but complain to me how much she... disliked them..."
He smiles, "I think I'm gonna break them, t' be honest. I'm too likable."
"Sure looked that way with Maura..." I tease.
His face turns red, but a giddy smile crosses her face, "Uh, yeah, she's
really nice."
 "Nice. Mhm."
"Shut up." He grumbles and I can't help but best out in laughter. "You
know, you seem t' be in a great mood considering..."
"Considering my jerk of an ex humiliated me in front of everyone?"
Niall huffs, "More like he humiliated himself. The whole lot of them are
rotten, love. Good riddance, if you ask me."
I smile, "I completely agree, Niall."
"You think Jake will bother you today? I'm right next door, so you can
come get me whenever."" He tells me earnestly.
"You're getting sweet on me, aren't you?" I joke.
"You remind me of my sister, honestly, so you're kind of like home, I
guess."
My heart warms, "That's so nice.""
"Bit mushy, but you deserve a little mush after the weekend you had,
love."
"I really do appreciate it, Niall. More than you know." I tell him
sincerely, "Jake won't bug me, though. When he gets like how he did over
the weekend, he usually ignores me for, like, a week. Thinks he's pushing
me or something." I roll my eyes.
"Bloke's absolutely delusional, if you ask me."
I snort, "Niall, we are going to be very good friends." He laughs and
nudges me as we turn down our hall, "Just don't hurt Maura if there is
anything serious, because then I'll have to disown you, and I could really
use all the friends I could get."
His laughter rings through the hall, kids looking up at what made the
sound. Niall really is a ray a sun wherever he walks, and it's completely
refreshing. I bask in his glow as we pass Jake, not one of us paying the
other attention, but a light scoff heard as Niall and I laugh with each other.
†††
"Okay, so the first thing to know is the sensitive areas to hit the
aggressor." Harry starts.
When I had walked up to them Monday night at the gym, Mike greeted
me warmly, Harry already explaining that they were going to teach me
some basic self defense. He didn't bring up this weekend or Harry's phone
call with Naomi, so I figured Harry dealt with it. I couldn't not say
something though, so I told him quietly as Harry rifled through his gym
bag, "Um, Mike, I heard what you did after I left when one of... well, one of
my old friends said some stuff about me. I just wanted to thank you. No
one's-"
"Emma, friends don't need to thank each other for doing basic friend
things. You're with us now, love, so get used to that sort of thing. Never
letting some asshole say bullshit like that. What does he think would
happen, huh? Wish Niall would've let me at him... would've given him a
right shiner. We've got your back, okay? No matter what." He answers me
back easily. My heart warms and I give his forearm a little squeeze before
Harry comes back to us.
We were training in the corner away from prying eyes, behind the boxing
ring. No one could really see us over here, which I was eternally grateful
for. I didn't need everyone watching me fail or fall on my ass.
"The nose, throat, stomach, and groin. Those are the areas you would
want hit. Stay away from the chest and knees. Neither will do much
damage." Harry tells me.
"I thought the knees would be a good spot, though?" I ask him, hands on
my hips and attention clear on the two men in front of me.
"They can be." Mike answers, "But for beginners, or those just learning
basics, it tends to be hard spot to damage enough to have them drop their
hold on you."
"Okay." I nod my head in understanding.
"You'll want to focus on the heel of your palm when going in for the nose
or throat. That's if they're right in front of you. You'll also want to use your
elbows. You'll be able to gather a good amount of momentum. Obviously
your knee will be very useful, but you want to stay away from using your
foot to kick a groin." Harry continues.
"Why's that?" I ask.
"You'll have more power behind a knee, and a foot is easier to grab, so
they can flip you onto your back, and once you're there it's much harder to
get out from underneath." Mike says.
"You ready to get started?" Harry asks me and I nod.
For the next hour they focus on technique and hitting the right spots.
Both Harry and Mike stand in to spar with me, so I can get a feel for
different heights and weights. It's actually kind of fun, and they're both
really great teachers. Harry and I kept things very platonic, never giving
Mike the idea that we're any more than friends. It was hard, especially when
he was wrapping his arms around me, and instructing me lowly in my ear.
 It, quite frankly, was a turn on. He was strong and supportive, a little
demanding at times, pushing me farther if I didn't quite get a move down.
He knew exactly when I needed a break, knew exactly how to encourage
me, and I was soaking it up. It felt good to have someone on my side who
understood me, and Harry understood me on a level no one had before.
Whether that was do to what we've done in the bedroom - among other
places - or because we have some sort of connection.
I'm really trying not to think about too much. If I did I'm sure I would
fuck everything up. I just wanted things to stay like this between us for as
long as possible. Maybe I could milk a few more months out of it. Just the
thought of us ending makes me feel things I absolutely cannot feel right
now. I think my body would shut down, my mind not being able to take it.
"Alright, I'm gonna have to head out." Mike says, "Naomi is expecting
me home."
Harry chuckles, "Good luck."
Mike gives him a smirk, waving at me as he jogs out of the gym. I look
over at Harry inquisitively.
"Mike and Naomi have scheduled sex since they're trying to get
pregnant." He tells me.
I breathe out a chuckle, "Oh, right, gotcha. Please, don't say anymore."
He smiled at me, "You did good today."
"Thanks. I actually had fun." I say as I pack up my stuff.
"Good." He hesitates before adding, "Did you block him?"
I glance up at him, "Not yet. Didn't have time before school, and then I
came straight here." I can see him debating on whether or not to say it. "I'll
do it right now."
Relief crossed his face, surely thinking that I might chicken out, but after
last night that wasn't going to happen. I stand up with my phone in my
hands, and he comes to stand next to me to watch me. First I go to our
message thread and delete it, a deep breath taken beforehand. Then I went
into my settings to block his number.
This was it. This wouldn't necessarily set me free since I still had to see
him at work, but this meant he couldn't contact me. He couldn't call me
whilst drunk and ask for sex. He couldn't call me a whore or "his". I
wouldn't dread the sound of my phone late at night or listen to cruel
voicemails the next morning.
I took another deep breath and officially blocked him.
 I looked up at Harry who was watching me carefully, "How do you feel?"
I think for a moment, "Honestly... I'm not sure. It feels freeing, but also a
little like... I'm not sure what to do now."
"I think that's normal. It's okay not to know how you feel." He tells me
sincerely, "I'm just glad you did it."
I nod my head to myself, looking back down at his contact. "Wait. Does
he know that I blocked him?"
"No, I'm pretty sure it doesn't, like, tell him or anything. His calls just
won't go through, and his messages will say not delivered." We both make
our way out the front doors. "He might figure it out, though, so let me know
if he confronts you about it."
"What are you going to do? Track him down and beat him up?" I joke.
He chuckles, "Well, I'm a grown man, so no. But I won't be afraid to talk
to him if I need to."
"So sweet." I say sarcastically, "You won't need to do that. I'm done
taking his shit, and now I've got someone at school who's got my back."
"You bonded pretty fast with that Niall guy, huh?" He asks.
I smirk, "Are you jealous, Harry?"
He scoffs playfully, "Please, like he could compare to my cock."
Rolling my eyes I hip check him lightly. Our cars are parked next to each
other, so we walk the entire way together. "You're probably right. I'm pretty
sure your cock's been graced by the gods."
Harry bursts out laughing, "Why thank you, angel. Really self esteem
boost."
"You're very welcome." I answer cordially, making him chuckle more.
"So I'll see you Thursday?"
He nods, "Yeah, Mike will be gone, but I wanted to box more with you if
you're okay with that?"
I nod quickly, "Yeah, I really liked that."
His smile hits me right in the heart, both bashful and boyishly cute,
"Good. You sure you can't come over tonight?"
After throwing my bag into the passengers seat, I step close to him, hands
rubbing his chest lightly, "I'm sure. Promised one of my neighbors I would
take care of their cat the next few days while they're visiting a relative, and
I swear it thinks it's a dog. Has a leash and everything. I would invite you
over, but I know my mattress hurt your back."
He groaned, "Not that bad."
 "How about this..." I start teasingly, "I'll stay over Thursday and Friday,
and both nights I'll give you a nice long massage."
He hums, bringing his lips close to mine, "That sounds lovely."
I smile coyly, leaning up to whisper against his parted lips, "And then
we'll fuck."
A puff of air leaves his mouth, a small laugh, "And then we'll fuck." He
repeats.
I give in and kiss him, hard and full of tongue. We had been holding back
since the moment we saw each other at the gym. Being around Mike had
been so hard, but we suffered through it. It also kind of made things more
exciting. Like there was a buildup of sexual tension. I couldn't wait until
Thursday, and knew the next few days wold be like torture for us. I also
knew I wouldn't be making it easy, already planning out some steamy texts
to send to him.
†††
It felt weird being so happy after the shit show that was this weekend.
Normally, I would've moped around for a stupid amount of time, not talking
to anyone, and keeping my pain to myself. But by Wednesday, I had
somehow gotten to a place where I felt good about myself. Not just good:
excited.
I had things I was looking forward to. I had two nights worth of amazing
sex waiting to happen with Harry. Niall had turned to be a lifesaver a work,
acting as a shield between Jake and I. Naomi, Lu, and Maura had all texted
me numerous times the last few days to either "just check up" or to get my
opinion on something random, and I made sure to thank Maura the way I
did Mike, but she also waved it off like it was nothing.
I was on cloud nine, and I was hoping to extend it.
That was how I found myself downtown at a boutique lingerie shop with
Millie. I had updated her on all things Harry, and minus a few pointed looks
that I ignored, she was overall impressed with how I was handling things. I
even talked to her about just how often and bad Jake's texts and calls were,
earning me a lecture, but I just waved her off and distracted her by asking
her to help me pick out something special for him.
The moment we walked in, I had felt overwhelmed. This place was
pricey and extravagant, but I had saved enough money in my personal
"rainy day" account to splurge on something sexy. Plus, Harry had spent a
lot of money on our toys, and not once asked me to pay my half.
 I wanted to get him something to drool over. Something that would turn
me into a real vixen. I had formulated a plan on how I wanted Thursday
night to go, involving preferably black lace, handcuffs, and maybe a few
bite marks if he was lucky.
"Okay, so what exactly are you thinking?" Millie asks me, eyes glazing
over a few mannequins.
"I'm not sure. I've never shopped for lingerie. I was thinking black lace
and a garter belt?" I say as my hand feels the silky texture of some risqué
nightwear. There was definitely no way Harry would let me get any sleep if
I was wearing that.
Right then a tall woman stepped in front of us, making me jump a little,
"Sorry," She smiled, "is there anything I can help you find?"
"Oh, no-" I start.
"Actually, yes, you can." Millie says, giving me her famous pointed look.
"My friend here is trying to get something nice for her boyfriend-"
"He's not my boyfriend." I say quickly. I can't even let that thought bloom
in my mind or I'll surely lose it.
Millie rolls her eyes, "Right, whatever. Anyway, she wants to look sexy
as fuck as a, I guess, thank you."
The saleswoman nods her head, afro bobbing slightly, "Okay. Do you
have any idea on where to start? Lace, silk, color, garters, corsets..."
I cringe, "Probably not a corset. Um... well I was thinking black lace, full
getup. I wouldn't mind looking at garter belts, and some stockings?"
"We've also got some whips-"
"Oh, that won't be necessary." I say quickly, remembering how we spoke
specifically about whips and not wanting them. "Uh, do you have pasties
here?" I ask a little insecure, a faint blush on my cheeks.
"Nipple pasties?" She asks loudly, and my eyes widen as I look around.
Of course no one cares. It's a lingerie shop and we're all adults. Millie
laughs at my reaction, hands draped over the top of her belly. "Of course!
We have a wall in the back with different styles. First let's find a few things
to try on, and then we'll pick some stuff that matches, alright? Now, are you
okay with see-through and crotchless?"
I didn't know what to expect, hoping for lingerie, but it surely wasn't this.
I had been handed a ton of lace garments, some with too many straps, some
with lady suspenders, and all very sexy. I didn't show Millie everything, not
exactly wanting to walk out of my dressing room with a see-through bra,
nipples clear as day. She did make me come out in a few pieces hat she was
curious about. Sometimes I would need help figuring out how to properly
strap in, but overall it was a success.
I felt confident and beautiful and a little wet.
I just kept thinking how much Harry was going to love this. My plan for
the next night had shifted a bit as I picked my outfit. I was excited and even
antsy to do this.
They had gifted me a small shopping basket to put my things in,
including a black lace matching set that consisted of a completely see-
through bra, and crotchless panties. I knew Harry would be ecstatic to be
able to fuck me while I was still wearing everything. I got a garter belt and
stockings that was surprisingly flattering, accentuating my hips and thighs
in a way that even turned me on. I had also let the saleswoman, Tanya, talk
me into a delicate lace kimono to wear over my outfit as I presented it for
the first time to him.
Now I was looking at a wall of pasties, wondering what shape I should
get. I wasn't going to wear them under my new getup, but I knew they
would be a fun surprise for us at some point.
"Should I get the hearts or the regular circles?" I turned to Millie, holding
one of each up to wear my breasts were.
She tilts her head, imagining what they would look like. I had gotten over
any shyness relatively quickly, and now that she's seen me almost naked we
were a new level of close.
"Hmm, well I would say probably the circles unless you wanted to be
romantic." She answers.
I nod my head, looking at the two options once more, "I think I'll go for
the circles for now, but I might come back for the hearts... Maybe for
Valentine's Day or something."
I ignore the raise in eyebrows, and turn my attention to the wall next to
us, "But then there's the nipple clamps."
"I say you have to get the clamps. Didn't you tell me Harry got all excited
when you mentioned them the other day?" She asked me.
"Yeah, I know he definitely wants to get me some." I mutter, thinking it
though when my eye catches something.
It's white and delicate. Innocent and dirty. Perfect and... perfect.
I knew I had to have it. I knew Harry had to have it. He deserved it. Hell,
I deserved it.
 I hang up the clamps and walk over to what looks like the clearance rack.
I plucked the only one available off the bar, and studied it for a moment. It
had a lot of parts, but it was my size. It was like it was calling to me.
I put it in my bag, and walked over to he register where Tanya was
waiting for us. I paid happily, not even blinking at the large price, knowing
it was all worth it.
I sent off a quick text:
To Harry: Can't wait for tomorrow night. Got a little present for you
😈
Millie and I walked out, heading down the street a bit. We were talking
happily about something when I heard my name. I looked around wildly,
but found the source across the street.
Naomi was waving at me across the way, Luanne and Maura right beside
her. With a brisk look across the street they crossed.
"Hey! How are you?" I greet them with hugs, "This is Millie. Millie this
is Naomi, Lu, and Maura."
"Nice to meet you." Millie says politely.
Naomi smiles, "How far along are you?"
"Just hit eight months! Ready to get this puppy out of me!" She exclaims
playfully.
Naomi coos, asking to feel her belly to which Millie happily agrees,
"Pretty sure the bugger's kicking, so you hit the jackpot."
Naomi's eyes light up, and she gets close, waiting for the little feeling of
a kick. A moment passes, "Oh my god! I felt it! Never felt a baby's kick!"
I smiled at Naomi in amusement, but then I see the bag in her hands,
"Did you guys go to that baby clothes store over there?"
Lu and Maura immediately look at Naomi. I'm a little confused by their
reaction, but don't question it.
"Uh, yeah... Can you keep a secret?" She asks me suspiciously.
"Yeah... What's going on?"
"Well," She starts, a large smile growing on her face, "I'm pregnant!"
My jaw drops, "Are you serious?!"
She nods emphatically, "Yes! Went to the doctor's yesterday to confirm,
and she said that I was, so I got some little baby booties for a thing I'm
gonna put together for Mike to surprise him."
"Oh, that's adorable! Can I see?" I ask her excitedly.
 "Yeah, I was hoping you would be able to come and help us pick
something out with us, but you never text me back, jerk!" She said
playfully.
I look at her confused, "I never got a text."
Now she looked confused, "But-" she got her phone out and went to her
messages, "Oh, fuck me. I never sent it!" She shows me the screen as proof
and I start laughing. She cringes, "Is it too early to start blaming pregnancy
brain?"
Lu rolled her eyes and snorted, "Definitely too early. Anyways it looks
like Em was busy. What's in that bag, huh."
My face warms, and I stutter, "Uh- um, nothing."
Maura reaches over, however, and snatches the bag from my hands,
peaking in quickly before I took it back.
"That's definitely not nothing. I saw some black lace, and even some
wings in there-" She laughs.
My face is probably beet red by now. I cover my face with my hands and
groan.
"Are you seeing someone?" Naomi asked excitedly.
"What? No! I'm still holding out for you and Harry!" Lu whines.
I see Millie's brows furrow, but thankfully she doesn't say anything.
Maura just shakes her head at Lu, "You need to give that up. She isn't gonna
hook up with your brother."
At this Millie snorts in laughter, finally catching on to the weird dynamic.
The girls look at her confused, but she just waves them off, "Sorry, just
thought of something."
I glare at her, "I just bought these for myself." I end up saying stupidly.
Naomi raises her brows at me in disbelief, "You just bought super
expensive lingerie for yourself?"
"Yeah?" I answer.
"Fine, don't tell us!" Maura starts dramatically, "We'll find out, though,
you hear me?"
I roll my eyes playfully, "I'm sure." I chuckle at them and ask, "When are
you telling Mike?"
"Tomorrow night. I'm sure he'll want to celebrate Friday night, so be
ready to drink! Millie you're welcome to come."
"Oh, no, I've got work, but thank you." She declines politely.
 "We've actually got to get going, but I'll see you Friday night, yeah?" I
tell them.
We say goodbye, heading in different directions. Millie teases me for a
bit at the awkward questioning I received. I let her, knowing full well that
she wasn't going to let up. Plus, it was kind of funny. Once we get back to
mine, I check my phone.
From Harry: Love it when my angel spoils me. Can already feel
you...
From Harry: Fuck, just got me hard at the gym at the thought of
you.
From Harry: Can I call you tonight?
To Harry: What? You can't get off by yourself anymore? 😇
From Harry: More like I don't want to.
From Harry: I'm leaving now. I'll call you when I get home.
I smile to myself and get ready, stripping naked, and laying on my bed.
That ended up being the best decision when Harry decided to FaceTime me,
already hard by the time I showed him my hard nipples.
We made it last for as long as possible, teasing each other, and later
laughing and just talking after we finish together.
Chapter Twenty-Two

EMMA
"That's a good hit, Emma!" Harry encourages me further.
He's decided to upgrade me to the boxing mitts, spending the last twenty
minutes doing some drills he showed me earlier.
"You're a really good teacher, you know." I say a little breathlessly, still
in form.
He chuckles, "I'm glad you think that, but I think you're just a really fast
learner."
I rolled my eyes, "Nope. Good teacher." I hit his gloves in a one-two
punch.
"You're right. I'm just the best." He jokes.
I smile widely, and continue with our training. After about five more
minutes he stops us, "Okay, I think that's good for today."
"That's it?" I ask, wishing I could get more.
"That's it, Rocky." He teases, "If you want to come back on Saturday, I
can show you more?"
I nod, "I'd love that. When do you have to be on the road?"
Harry and Lu were headed back to their hometown for a family thing. He
would be gone until late Sunday night, so I probably wouldn't see him until
Thursday again.
"Uh, not until around one, I think. I've got to check with Lu first, but we
should have time to come here that morning." He says.
"Sounds good to me. I'm gonna take a shower here, and I'll meet you
back at yours?" I tell him.
He smiles softly at me, "Yeah. I'll leave the door unlocked. Just come in
when you get home."
I smile back at him. I liked it when he said home as if it was ours. I knew
I shouldn't. I knew it would be yet another thing that would crush me
eventually, but I was living by a new mantra. One where I lived day by day,
not overthinking things.
I took an extensive shower, making sure I washed off every bit of dirt and
sweat possible. I had done a full shave that morning, so I didn't need to
worry about that. I even brought my vanilla scrub so I smelled extra good. I
knew this was Harry's favorite of my body washes after he practically
purred into my skin one night in bed. I cleaned my face full of makeup off,
making sure my hair was in a bun, so it wouldn't get wet.
Once I dried and put on some comfy sweats and my favorite of Harry's
sweatshirt that I now kept with me at all times. I went to the counter to put
on a sultrier makeup look and redo my hair. I was going the full nine yards
tonight, and I knew he would know something was up the moment he saw
me. I mean, I was wearing a red lip for crying out loud.
I was getting nervous the closer I got to his place, but it felt good. I
wasn't nervous in the sense that I might mess up, or embarrass myself. No, I
was excited nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering at the
thought of Harry's eyes when he sees me in my outfit. How he's going to
beg and plead for me, but I'll answer him in teases and dirty words. I'm
excited be in control and watch his cock grow before my very eyes.
I walked into his house without a second thought, duffel bag and
backpack in tow. I brought a few work clothes since I always stay
Thursdays, and it'll be easier to keep a few things here instead of packing so
heavy every week. Most times I ended up staying Friday and Saturday as
well, so I told myself that I needed to be prepared.
"Hey, angel." Harry greeted from the kitchen, plating up some dinner for
us, "Took a bit longer than expected. Did you get lost?" He joked.
I smile coyly, waiting for him to look up and see me, "Nope, just wanted
to look good for you."
"You know I don't-" His sentence ended abruptly when his eyes met my
face. They went right to my lips, the striking red something he's never seen
me in. They flicker up to my sultry smoky eye making the blue irises pop
more than usual. "Fuck, you look so fucking sexy."
"Yeah?" I ask innocently, "Just wait until you see my present."
He groaned lowly and muttered, "Never gonna get through this dinner
without fucking you."
I raise my eyebrows and cock my head, "Yes, you will, baby. You're
gonna do what I say tonight, do you understand?"
 His pupils dilated and he stood up straight, "And if I don't?"
I walk over to him, pouting playfully, his eyes gazing down my body
with a small smirk on his lips. I know he likes what he sees, because I'm
wearing his sweats - band rolled up a few times to fit me - and his old uni
sweatshirt. "If you don't... well, you won't get what you want tonight."
"And what do I want?" He asks me.
"Me. Teasing you. Touching you. Cumming on you and with you while
you're all tied up." I say in a low whisper.
He hums and leans closer to me, "You're gonna tie me up, angel? Torture
me until I'm crying out for you?"
A Cheshire grin appears slowly on my lips, "See, you already know...
Been dying to use those pretty little cuffs you got for yourself."
"Now. Please now."
Fuck, he's already begging, submitting to me so quickly. I'm obsessed.
I shake my head and back away, "Dinner first, baby."
He whines, but doesn't fight me. We eat in heated silence, exchanging
knowing looks. It was just like that first time at his house. He ate quickly,
cleaning up his plates, and watching me as I purposefully slowed down. His
leg was bouncing, trying desperately not to disobey me, but I knew it was
getting too much.
He wanted me badly, and who was I to deny my baby
"Harry?" He perked up immediately, "C'mere."
He follows my orders briskly, moving to my side and waiting for more. I
coo, mindlessly picking up a forkful of food, "You're being so good
tonight... I'm almost done, okay?" He nods, staring down at me intensely,
hands gripping the counter we're eating at and the back of my chair to keep
from touching me.
I teasingly bring the fork up to my mouth, making a show of my tongue
and lips encasing it, chewing slowly, all while holding eye contact. He
breathes out shakily, so I decide to give him a little something. My hand
comes up to brush the hair on my shoulder to the side, offering up my neck
to him.
"If you must." I say to him, "No marks, though."
He moves behind me quickly, brushing more hair away, and leans down
to press his lips to my skin. His hands come down to grip my thighs, but I
pinch his forearm and say, "No hands."
 Immediately, they leave my body, groping the counter on either side of
me, fencing me in. I eat my dinner as his lips and tongue cover every inch
I've made available to him. He lets little groans out when he stops himself
from sucking too hard, or biting down on me. I find it warming that he cares
so much about my request not to have any visible hickeys even though it's
obvious how badly he wants them all over my neck and shoulders.
With my last bite and sip of wine, I lean back in my chair, my head
resting on his shoulder, and he moves up to my jaw. I let him cautiously
explore up and down. He's waiting for me to tell him to stop, so I smile to
myself and whisper out, "It's okay, baby."
He moans in relief, pressing harder kisses to my skin, making his way
hungrily to my lips. It's an odd angle, but we don't let that stop us. It's
salacious and wet, and he groans bawdily when my tongue makes its way
into his mouth. I grip his hair and pull his head back. His lips are covered in
my red lipstick, making me smile coyly.
"Clean this up," I gesture towards the dirty plates, "and this." Thumbing
at his lips, "and meet me upstairs."
He nods silently, eyes full of fire and want. I slid on the chair, and grab
my bags. I walk up the stairs quickly, opening his bedroom door. I throw
my duffel in his closet, taking my bathroom pack and shopping bag full of
lingerie to his on-suite. I touch up my lips, and walk back out to the
bedroom. Moving one of his lounge chairs to the middle of the room, right
in front of the bed, I look around inspecting things. I shake my head as I
realize I need the cuffs.
I race over to our box of toys and dig until I find the fuzzy purple
handcuffs. I place them on the bed, and sit down, crossing my legs and wait
for him. I breathe in deep to calm my remaining nerves.
Distantly, I hear his footsteps on the stairs. I try and look as confident as I
can when he opens the door, eyes meeting mine instantaneously. They
flicker to the chair and then to the cuffs right next to me. When they meet
mine again, I can see them dilate. With a quick twist, he locks the door
behind him.
I grin at him and beckon him towards me with my finger. He walks over
at a steady pace, stopping directly in front of me.
"Strip." I tell him.
He looks at me, a little surprised, but not a moment later is he peeling off
his shirt. The tattoos that litter his skin are now visible, inviting my hands to
trace them, but I resist. He cocks an eyebrow as he pushes his sweats down
his meaty thighs. Harry refuses to break eye contact with me, making my
core pulse around nothing.
He steps out of them, throwing them off to the side where his shirt laid
leaving him in his boxer-briefs. Hooking his thumb into the band, he pulls
them down, as well. Standing up proudly with a half-hard cock only an
arms length away.
My mouth waters as he stares at me staring at his cock. I shift my hips a
bit, feeling more aroused than expected, and my heart leapt as I watched
him slowly grow harder in front of me. I had never actually seen it happen
with my own eyes, and the pool of arousal in my underwear was proof of
how much I loved it. It was fascinating watching him grow. His pink tip
matched the color of his lips so perfectly, and the vein on his underside
showed prominently as it rose to his stomach.
"So pretty." I murmur.
"You like my cock, angel?"
My eyes shoot up to his. It's like an electric current is shot through me
when I see how dark his green eyes are. He's watching me like I'm his prey,
ready to strike at any moment. I need to take back control.
"Sit down." I tell him.
He smiles coyly at me, like he knew for that one second that he held all
the power. He backed up into the chair, spreading his legs wide, so I could
see his full round balls, and his pretty, pretty cock. He was completely hard
now, thick and long like always. So incredibly mouthwatering.
My hand blindly finds the handcuffs and dangles them off one finger. His
eyes watch them closely.
"I love your cock, Harry. Love how heavy you feel in my hand. Love the
way it tastes on my tongue. Love how it stretches me farther than I thought
I could be." I hum, "Really loved watching it grow right in front of me.
Wouldn't mind sitting right on you and feel you harden inside me. Would
you like that, Harry?"
He nods, completely under my spell again. I smile to myself, loving how
easy it was to get him like this. I stand up off the bed, and walk slowly
towards him.
"You've been so good to me all week, baby. Want to spoil you tonight." I
murmur once I get close enough, bending down, placing my elbows in his
shoulders and play with his hair teasingly. "Would you like that."
 "Yes." He breathes out.
"I'm gonna put these on your wrists, okay?" Gesturing towards the cuffs
and he nods emphatically. "Let me know if they're too tight, or start to hurt,
yeah?"
"Yeah." He repeats.
I smile fondly down at him, "You're so cute."
His eyes lighten up at my compliment, waiting for my next move. I slink
my way around the chair, kneeling to the floor to secure the cuffs, making
sure that they aren't too tight.
My fingertips graze up his arms, toying with him. He groaned lightly at
the feeling, relishing my touch. Leaning down, my lips ghosted over his ear
as I whisper, "Stay here."
I snicker as I shuffle into the bathroom, a "fucking hell" leaving his own
lips. I shut the door and quickly open the bag from the shop, revealing the
black set I had bought yesterday. I strip out of my clothes and underwear,
folding them neatly in the corner.
One by one, I slip the pieces on, trying to be quick, but knowing this was
going to take at least five minutes. I knew Harry was dying out there,
probably already fidgeting against the cuffs. Once I strap the see-through
bralette, I take a good look at myself.
Up to my thighs were black, lace stockings, held up by the garter belt at
my waistline. The panties I had on had an intricate floral lace pattern,
opening up on the sides, leaving a large part of my hip bare, just a top and
bottom strap keeping the underwear connected back to front. The back were
a cheekster style, showing off the roundness of my ass. The best part was
that I had gotten crotchless underwear, so we wouldn't even need to take it
off to get him inside me. The bralette I had on had a thick band under my
breasts, and the cloth covering my supple chest was the same floral lace
design as my panties. You could still see my nipples through the bra,
slightly pebbled as I looked at myself.
I was hot. Not just hot, but fucking sexy. Every single one of my curves
was on display, not an ounce of shame or insecurity found in my body. I had
never felt this comfortable in my entire life. Hell, I had never felt more
confident and sexy than I did right now.
Harry had made this possible for me. His words had tunneled their way
into my mind, convincing me that I truly was the sexiest most alluring thing
Harry had ever seen.
 I take one last deep breath before walking out of his bathroom. Harry's
head turns towards me, but he couldn't quite see me at the angle he was at. I
stayed behind him, creeping up on him as I watched his chest move a little
faster. He had moved to stare straight ahead, deciding to wait until I
revealed myself to see me.
When I stood behind him, my hands landed on his chest, gliding down
his body. I had put rings on my fingers to mimic the feel of his hands on
me, and was rewarded with the goosebumps forming in the wake of my
hands. The coolness of the rings added to the experience of not seeing me.
I leaned down as far as I could, my hands landing around the laurel
tattoos on his pelvis. My fingertips trace the skin when I whisper, "My baby
is so good, isn't he? Waiting for me so patiently, not begging for my touch.
Promise we'll get there..." His head lulls back, eyes closed, "I'm gonna
make you feel good, baby."
"Fuck, Emma..." He breathes out.
I smile against his ear, and place a kiss on his neck. I back away to see
the perfect imprint of my lips on his skin. "Like the look of that." I mutter to
myself, "Like my lips belong on you."
"They do."
I hum, "Oh yeah?" My lips meet more of the skin on his neck, each time
my lipstick leaving a bit of me behind. "Maybe they do."
I start to walk around the chair, my reveal only seconds away now. My
hand stays on his shoulder, grazing up to his neck when I round the front.
Harry's eyes widen and his breath hitches when he sees me. They glaze
down my body slowly, coming back up and then darting to different parts of
me. My nipples harden as he stares at my breasts hungrily, causing the
smallest groan to escape him.
I'm standing between his legs, looking down at him as he takes me in. In
an instant, he tries to move his hands, caught by the cuffs locked behind
him.
I coo, "My baby wants to touch?"
"Please?" He pleads.
"But you've only been handcuffed for a few minutes..." I lean down,
getting close to his face, "When you tied me up you had your way with me
for hours. I think it's only fair we do this my way."
The smallest whimper escapes him, eyes closing shut to take a deep
breath in. I gazed down to see his cock standing straight up, already leaking
at just the sight of me.
"Do you like my surprise?" I ask him, my finger lifting his chin as I stand
back up. He opens his eyes, dilated and filled with excitement. He nods
silently at my question. "What's your favorite part?"
"Um... can't choose. All of it, fuck you look so beautiful."
My heart jumps, "Yeah?"
"Mhm, gonna dream of this for the rest of my life."
He's looking at me as if I am a dream. The same dazed and happy look as
he watched me touch myself last week. This time, however, he had a
desperate sense about him, like it was killing him that he couldn't touch me.
It was probably a little cruel of me to decide to surprise him with lingerie on
a night I also decided to tie him up and have my way with him, but that's
what's making this so much... hotter.
I move my legs to the outside of his and sit down, spread wide, arms
around his neck. He glances down, and his jaw drops, "Fuck, are those
crotchless?" I grin wide and nod. "Trying to give me a heart attack, angel."
He breathes out.
I hum, and nip at his bottom lip, pulling away quickly, so he couldn't
catch my lips in an embrace. "You're too sweet."
"Kiss?" He asks me.
I shake my head, "No, you're making too much of a mess down there.
Gotta clean you all up."
"Fuck..." He curses.
I slip off him and kneel of the floor between his legs. His cock twitches at
the sight. I eye him hungrily, the palms of my hands rubbing up and down
his thighs.
"You've been such a good boy for me, baby. Been exactly what I needed.
I'm gonna take care of you now, okay? Gonna suck you dry, and keep you
all tied up until I can get you hard again. Then I'll fuck you and let you cum
inside my tight pussy. Is that what you want?" He nods and whines at my
words, another bead of cum leaking out of his slit. I smile, staring right at,
"Like you know exactly what I want." I lean forward and lick up the trail of
pre-cum that has dribbled down his cock. "Always taste so good. I'm gonna
take this nice and slow. Work you until you're all desperate and throbbing."
"Please..." Harry whines, fidgeting in his seat, "Need you. Need your
perfect lips on my, angel. Please, please, please."
 I put him out of his misery, wrapping my lips around his swollen head.
My tongue laps at the ridges and plays with his slit. As more cum leaks out,
I moan. I can feel him holding his hips down, trying not to fuck my mouth.
Popping off I say, "So good for me. Staying so still."
I lower and lick up the prominent vein from the base to the very top of
his dick. I suck on his head again, this time with more fervor. I fist his base,
slowly stroking him as I take my time with his glorious head. The feel of
the strong ridges and the taste of his salty cum, was almost making me
lightheaded. I wanted more.
Bobbing my head at the same slow pace, I take him more and more in my
mouth, never forcing myself too much. This was going to be a slow burn
for the both of us. My core was pulsating, and I could tell I was close to
dripping down my legs.
I slip him out of my mouth, cock now glistening from my spit, and kiss
my way down his length and to his balls. I licked and pecked until I heard
that beautiful sound of his whimper, taking him fully into my mouth and
sucking lightly as my hand worked him. He groaned in relief, and I moved
to his other one. I took my time down there, mouth watering as I felt how
full and round he was.
When I popped off, I tongue in-between them, making him squirm. I
wrap my lips around his base and suck, slinking up further. I moan feeling
how long it took me to travel his full length, his size always astounding me.
My tongue laps at his frenulum, never leaving it as I once again suck on
his head. I create a whirlpool effect, spinning my wet tongue around his
rigid head.
"Oh god, yes." I hear him say above me, a clink of medal as he tries to
move.
With one hand around his base, the other fondling his balls, I take him
deeper and deeper. I build up until he's hitting the back of my throat, and
then I push farther. I angle my head and slip him in deeper. I swallow and
moan as I hit his base. He feels so heavy and thick in my mouth, and I love
it. My tongue massages him the best I can with being so full. My jaw aches
and I'm puffing inconsistent breaths out of my nose.
I pulse fast and hard, choking on him. I'm forced to stop, pulling to catch
my breath. I glance up, water in my eyes to see him watching me in awe,
eyes in a daze and dilated. My hand works him, thumb ghosting over his slit
as we stare at each other for a few seconds.
 I break eye contact and look down as his cock twitches in my hand. I
smile as I see faint specks of red all up and down him, my lips imprinted on
his balls, and around the skin of his base. Peeking back up at him through
my thick fake eyelashes, I hold his stare. Taking him in my mouth again, I
suck and tongue at him harshly.
He's so close. I can see it in his eyes as he groans and whines at the
feeling of my wet mouth pleasuring him. I can feel him throbbing against
me, leaking profusely, begging to climax. I speed up, sucking and licking,
beckoning him to cum.
He's keeping himself on the edge purposefully trying to keep himself
from cumming. He's challenging me, wanting me to work harder. I focus on
his head, fist stroking his length quickly. My tongue dips into his slit and
massages his frenulum over and over, and I feel his hips twitch, bucking
lightly and unevenly in my mouth.
My mouth fills with his hot cum, a relieved groan leaving him. I suck
him through his orgasm, hand slowing down. I swallow every bit of him
eagerly, and wait for him to stop. I tease him by sucking on his sensitive
head longer than usual, causing him to buck his hips harshly and hiss.
He softens against his leg as I kiss up his stomach, playing with a nipple
when I reach it. I'm impressed by the longevity of my lipstick as it leaves
little marks everywhere my lips touch. I take my time on his neck,
straddling one of his thighs, gently rocking back and forth to give myself
some relief.
He's now pulling at the cuffs more frequently, desperate to touch me. I
smile against his skin, sucking a dark love bite right underneath his ear. I
graze my lips across his jaw, but pull away right as I lean up to his lips.
He pouts, "No, no, no... I've been good." He pleads, "Jus' want a kiss."
I hum, continuing the fluid, slow rolls of my hips, "You have been good."
My hand comes up to cup his cheek, "So, so good."
"So good." He repeats mindlessly, closing his eyes and leaning in.
I take his bottom lip in-between mine, and he moans immediately, the
tension leaving his body. He leans further into the kiss, so I indulge him.
My tongue flicks across his lip, and he opens his mouth to me.
My arms wrap around his neck, one hand threading through his hair, the
other clawing at his shoulder. My resolve falters as I give in to him, kissing
him fiercely and urgently. He reciprocates easily, now actively fighting his
restraints. He hisses against my mouth after a few minutes, so I separate.
 "Baby, you're going to hurt yourself if you keep tugging at your cuffs." I
tell him.
"Take them off, please. Need to touch you." He says while searching for
my lips again.
I've stopped rocking my hips by now, moving my hands now to his neck,
still covered in my kisses. I shake my head, keeping myself just out of
reach, "When you tied me up I came six times... Maybe that's what you
deserve."
He whines, "Angel- angel, please..." He moves his thigh against my core.
I lean forward at the jolt of pleasure, forehead meeting his, "Harry." I
moan out.
"Fuck, gonna get yourself off on my thigh?" He eggs me on further,
"Think how good my fingers would feel, knuckles deep, hitting you right
where you crave me most."
My head falls back, eyes closed as I imagine the feeling. He grinds his
leg up right as I swivel my hips down. I revel in the feeling of his lips softly
kissing my stretched out neck, a juxtaposition to our harsh movements
below.
Suddenly, I fist his hair and pull back firmly, "Trying to distract me..." I
say lowly, "Thought you were my good boy, but now I think you deserve to
stay cuffed while I get off on your thigh. Have my cum dripping down your
leg."
He groans, "Fuck."
My eyes stare into his as I begin to grind and roll and swivel my hips. My
movements are fluid and sexy, like I'm giving him a lap dance. After
another heated kiss, we pull away. His eyes flicker down to gaze adoringly
over my body, landing on the place where my core meets his thigh. I glance
down, and can already see my arousal coating him.
They then fall on his dick starting to harden. He noses at my nose,
making me look back at him.
"Only woman who can do that, you know." I furrow my brows and roll
my hips faster, waiting for him to continue. "Never thought I could be so
turned on, but you... I shouldn't be hard again. Fuck, Emma, angel,
you're..." He trails off.
I scoot a little closer to him, never leaving his eyes, "I'm what?" I ask
breathlessly.
 He looks at me for a second, almost struggling against his words. Just
when I think he's not going to answer, he whispers, "Everything. You're
everything."
There's a beat of charged silence between us before I crash my lips into
his, kissing him with even more intensity than before. He groans into my
mouth, and moves his thigh against me faster.
I melting into him, not wanting to stop kissing him, but it becomes too
much, the knot in my stomach twisting and coiling. I inhale sharply when I
pull away. I open my my eyes in a daze to see him staring down at the mess
I'm making on his leg. My forehead finds his temple, and I breathe through
my mouth. With my eyes shut tight, our rhythm stays in sync, knowing
exactly when to pivot and change styles. From harsh grinding to circling to
riding his thigh sensually. It's all so much, almost too much, but at the same
time, never enough.
I always want more with him, and as I finally reach my climax, my hand
finds his chubbed up penis and starts stroking it. I practically fall against
him as my orgasm washes over me, hand mindlessly working him almost
like it was always meant to.
He hisses at the feeling, but follows it up with a moan. He hardens in my
hand, and I slow as I come back down. I stand on shaky legs, my heart
warming when Harry tries to move to catch me, but is stopped by the
restraints.
"I'm good." I say quietly, moving to straddle both his legs. His eyes
flicker down to where I just sat, his thigh glistening in my cum. His brows
furrow and I feel him twitch in my hand. He whines and moves his hips,
"I've got you, baby." I murmur, still in a half daze.
I lift slightly, and place him at my entrance, sinking down slowly. We
both moan in relief when I'm seated on him, buried to the hilt. I hold him
close to me, our foreheads resting together, mouths opened, eyes closed. I
don't move right away, instead relishing in the feel of him inside me.
He stretches me so far and reaches me so deep. I could feel him like this
for hours and never be sick of it. I keen at the feeling of him twitch again,
my walls tightening around his cock. I can feel how sensitive he is after his
first orgasm, and know he won't last long, but, thankfully, I can feel that
familiar knot inside me already twisting up.
"Not gonna last long, angel." He confirms breathlessly, "Feels to good."
I kiss him deeply, rolling my hips once, and pull away, "Feels perfect."
 I can feel him want to wrap his arms around me, and hold him to his
chest to fuck into me, but I've still got all the power. I miss his touch, I
realize. So bad. My body is craving his hands, the roughness of his
fingertips gliding along my spine.
My legs are burning in minutes as I lift myself up and drop back down on
his. It's an awkward angle, but it's hitting all the right spots. I switch to
grinding, my clit rubbing against his pelvic bone, making me whimper at
the already swollen nub being stimulated again.
He's pulsing up into me wit the shortest of thrusts, both of us consumed
by the feeling. Our lips graze, unable to focus on a kiss, breathing in each
other as we pant and moan and whine, begging for a mutual release.
"C'mon, angel... So close. What do you need from me?" He asks.
I can feel myself tiring, minutes of bouncing up and down on him
exhausting me, but I don't want to stop. It feels too good.
I whine in frustration, speeding up even though my legs could give out at
any moment, "Don't want to stop. Feels so, so good. You feel so good."
I can feel his eyes stare into me as he says, "Wrap your legs around me."
I slow down to a stop, and follow direction. He murmurs a "higher" to
me, and I cross my feet right where his hands are cuffed together. He holds
my ankles securely, and asks, "Hold onto my shoulders tight, okay?"
I nod my head, strengthening my hold, and wait. Within seconds he's
thrusting up quickly and hard. I gasp loudly, head rolling back at the
feeling. I adjust my hold as he continues, speeding up when he gains some
form of rhythm. It's sloppy, the position being hard to maneuver in, but
somehow it makes it hotter.
My body ricochets from his hips, causing a stunted bobbing as he meets
my hips with more powerful thrusts. I feel as if there's a rubber string
attaching us at our cores, pulling me back to him powerfully only to be shot
back out with a thrust.
I've got such a tight hold on his shoulders, keeping him close to me as he
brings us closer and closer to our shared climax. I'm pulsating around him,
and he's throbbing inside me, and all we can hear is our pants, moans, and
the slick sound of our arousal as he roughly slips in and out of me.
It's rough and hot and so very sexy, and I'm still in my lingerie while he's
completely bare to me. My eyes open in a haze to see his green eyes
watching my face intensely. I can't look away, entranced by the emotion and
ferocity as he fucks up into me, tightening his hold on my ankles to hold
him back from tearing up his wrists to get his hands on me.
I whine pitifully as I edge painfully, wanting to come so bad. His rhythm
turns sloppy as he starts to tip over his edge, muttering, "Please, angel."
His plea send me into a white hot bliss. Waves of pleasure pulsing
through my body as he cums inside me. I melt into his body, every limb
going numb. He holds my legs up while I bury my face into his sweaty
neck. I moan bawdily, hips twitching into his as he continues to cum. His
head leans into mine, lips grazing my ear as he whispers mindless praise,
"Fuck, yes, yes, so good. Such a good girl for me."
I hum and nod as he stills inside me, the last of his climax leaving him.
We're panting in sync, both orgasms sending us into a full daze. After a few
minutes of resting, still connected to each other, I pull my face out from the
crook of his neck, and rest my chin on his shoulder.
Right in front of me is the key to the cuffs holding Harry hostage. I lift
my arm up to see if I could reach them, but I was just short. I lift off him
just a bit, not enough for him to slip out, a needy whine coming from him. I
shush him, "It's okay, baby. Gonna make this better."
The key connects with my fingers, and I pluck it off the desk, bringing
them down to his wrists. It takes me a second or two to steady my hands
and unlock one side. Immediately, his free hand wraps around my body,
pulling me even closer. He patiently waits for me to unlock his other wrist.
When I free him entirely, the cuffs falling to the floor with a soft thump,
both his arms are hugging me close, pushing me back down to his hilt. He
was soft inside me, but still quite big by nature, so I sunk an inch or two,
making me hiss from the sensitivity.
"Stay." He says quietly into my ear, "Just a bit longer, angel. You're so
warm."
And with that I nod, burying my face back into his neck, soft kisses to his
skin while his hands feel every inch of my skin.
Chapter Twenty-Three

HARRY
"How are you supposed to get this stuff off?" I ask.
Emma's smile is radiant as she watches me try and wash the lipstick off
my chest and neck. From what I can see, I'm not really doing much. Just
moving it around my skin, only making the lip marks disappear.
She breathes out a laugh at my confused face, "Just wash off, and I'll use
some makeup remover when we're out of the shower."
I smile back at her, eyes gazing up and down her naked, wet body. I back
up and roll my head back, the stream of water falling over my face and
chest. I hum when I feel her hands caress my body, lathered in soap,
cleaning me up after she fucked me dirty.
I still couldn't believe how compelling she was when she was in charge.
The moment she took it from my hands, downstairs before we ate dinner, I
was completely enthralled. I was going to follow every order and demand
she requested of me, the firmness and surety in her voice sending a rush of
endorphins through my body. The feeling of her knowing eyes watching my
cock grow in front of her, like she knew she was the only thing that could
get me hard anymore.
I took my turn washing her, careful to keep her face and hair out of the
water. She hadn't planned on taking a shower, since she took one at the
gym, but I had coaxed her in with me after we had gathered enough of
ourselves. I had put her hair in a bun as she focused on unhooking her
garter belt and bra. I pulled down her panties and stocking, kneeling to the
floor in front of her as if I was worshipping her.
Now that my hands were free from the restraints I couldn't not touch her.
Not being able to feel her soft skin for so long made me crave her more if
that was possible. So my hands were lathering soap all over her body,
groping her ass playfully, and spending a gluttonous amount of time on her
breasts. Her big, juicy, round breasts that just begged for my hands to cup
them. I could honestly get hard again if I played with them long enough, her
nipples hardening and pleading to be in my mouth.
That might be too much, though. We were both knackered, the orgasms
that wrecked our bodies taking a lot out of us. Both cumming in her mouth
and cunt were like a dream tonight. She took her time, building and teasing,
sending me to the edge and backing away only to careen me over into an
abyss of pure bliss. Twice.
We dried each other off, and she led me to the counter, telling me to lean
against it. I watch as she crouches down to her bag, and pulls out a few
things. She sprays something onto a small cotton pad and starts to rub at all
the traces of her on my skin. I posted as she did, already missing them. I
wonder how she would react to me getting a tattoo of her lip print.
She hums melodically as she focuses on the task at hand, and I find
myself smiling down at her. She's so fucking cute, and she doesn't even
realize it. I was so glad that she seemed to be doing well after I confronted
her about the harassment she's been facing. She really listened to me, and
took my words for what they were: truth.
I was glad she blocked him. I was glad she deleted his texts, so she
couldn't torture herself with them anymore. And I was most glad that she
had agreed to let me teach her some self defense, because, if I'm being
honest with myself, the whole situation terrifies me.
She already doesn't live in the safest neighborhood, and her ex knows
where she lives. It was plain to see that he was easily angered by Emma,
obviously still having some form of twisted and toxic feelings for her. I had
no idea if he would take it a step further, and I really hoped I never had to
find out. Just the thought of Emma being touched in a way she didn't
deserve, and especially by someone she had once given her heart to, trusted
immensely before he turned on her, made my blood boil.
And the worst part was that I knew I couldn't always be there to protect
her. Besides I wanted Emma to feel as though she was strong enough to
protect herself, which she was. She was so much stronger than she gave
herself credit for. If I had been in her position, I would've gone mental ages
ago.
"There..." She says softly as she wipes up my jaw, "all clean."
I hum lightly, hands moving to cup her ass and pull her into me. "Thank
you, angel. So sweet."
 Her arms wrap around my neck, and she melts into my body. I smile and
lean down to kiss her. It's a slower kiss than normal, one similar to the one
we shared at her place. I found myself wanting more of that. More simple,
but meaningful kisses. To just feel her plush, soft lips in-between mine, her
tongue caressing mine, and her fingers weaving with mine.
Instead I kept my hands on safe territory: her ass. But I did indulge in an
innocent make-out session with my angel. She complied easily, moaning
quietly after a few minutes. Gradually, we moved to small kisses and then
to smaller pecks.
When I pulled away, a wide smile graced my face, "I'm gonna have to let
you cuff me more often, because that was sensational, angel."
"Missed your hands." She admits with an adorable pout. She lifts up on
her toes and kisses me again, short and sweet.
"Can we lay in bed now?"
I breathed out a laugh, but I had one request of her, "I was thinking..."
Her eyebrows raised at my tone, "Yeah...?"
"Do you mind putting that back on?"
She stares at me for a second, "Really?"
I nod, "Yeah, I uh- really liked it. Want just a bit more time to see you
wearing it."
She thinks for a moment then answers, "Okay, but I'm not sleeping in it.
It's not loungewear."
I smile, "Of course. Do you want some help?"
She shakes her head, "No, wait outside for me. We can reenact my grand
entrance."
I laugh at her sudden excitement, laughing even louder as she literally
pushes me out of the bathroom, so she can change back into it. I take the
time to tidy up, putting the lounge chair back, and boxing up our handcuffs.
I wait patiently on the bed for her, checking my phone and plugging both
mine and Emma's into a charger, so we don't forget. My head snaps up
when I hear the bathroom door open. My breath is taken away again as I see
her walk out, this time a little more sheepish. She's got her adorable shy
smile on, as well as a slight blush to her cheeks. She even fixed up her
lipstick for me.
It's different then the domineering seductress I just had in my lap. While
that was exciting and hot, this was the woman I was falling for. This was
my Emma.
 "Well?" She asks when I don't say anything.
I stand up from the bed and walk to her. She holds my eyes the entire
way, different than she would've done only a week ago. The corner of my
mouth turns up, and I let my hands explore her body. The feel of the rough,
but somehow delicate lace over her soft skin was magnetic. The way it was
so, so incredibly sexy, yet she made it look innocent at the same time.
"You're so beautiful." I breathe out, taking in how the floral lace
accentuated her breasts, teasing her nipples and giving her a glorious
amount of cleavage. My finger snaps at the belt around her waist, holding
thin straps down to her stockings. "So enticing. Like an actually angel."
My eyes flicker up to hers, smiling when I see her rolling her eyes but
not able to hide her smile.
"I'm glad you like it." She tells me, "Went a little ham at the shop trying
to find something. I've got another present for you, but I'm gonna save that
for a special occasion."
My mouth waters at the numerous images floating through my head, all
involving Emma in provocative positions. "Special occassion, huh?"
She hums and nods her head, "Maybe I'll save it for your birthday...
February, right?"
My heart actually stutters. That's nearly three months away. Three
months. Emma is thinking that far ahead?
"Yeah." I confirm, "Not sure I'll be able to wait that long to see you like
this again, though. You've got no idea the thoughts going through my head
right now, angel."
"Oh, really?" She teases, eyes alight with humor and happiness, "Maybe
I'll surprise you for Christmas then."
"I wouldn't mind seeing you like this every night." I pause before
suggesting something that has been running through my head since I first
saw her wearing this. "I've got an idea, if you're up for it."
"Hmm, what's that?" She asks.
Her hands are resting on my chest, thumbs grazing over the warm skin.
My own are holding her sides. "I wouldn't mind taking your picture."
Her thumbs freeze, and her eyes shoot up to my own, "You want to take
pictures of me? Like this?"
"Nothing too indecent. No nudity." I assure her, "Just a few shots of you.
Kind of like a boudoir style." She looks uncomfortable as she thinks of my
request. "We don't have to, if you don't want to."
 "It's not that I don't want to..." She starts.
"You know I would never let anyone see them right?" I ask her, "They
would only be for me. They wouldn't even be on my phone."
"They wouldn't?"
I shake my head, "No, I've got a professional camera in my office. I can
make them all artsy and everything."
She's quiet, as she thinks, thumbs caressing my skin again. It feels like
forever before she answers, "You wouldn't let anyone see them?"
I squeeze her sides, "Never. Just for my eyes, my pleasure." I lower my
voice to a whisper, "It would drive me crazy if someone else got to see you
like this when I'm meant to be the only one."
"Okay."
I pause, "Okay?" She nods. "You're sure?"
She swallows, "Yeah, I trust you. I know you wouldn't let anyone see me
like this, and I want to."
A smile creeps across my face, "Yeah?"
She nods again, "I feel really good in this, um, confident and sexy, and I
wouldn't mind a few pictures myself."
My heart warms and I bring my hand up to cup her cheek, "Let me get
my camera, okay? Just get comfortable."
She nods her head, and I turn to leave the room. I rush into my office to
find my camera. It's been a while since I've used it, so I make sure it has a
charged battery, and change out the lens to one for indoor, close range shots.
I hurry back to my bedroom to see Emma laying on my bed. She's on her
side facing the door, head propped up on her hand, her other arm draped
over her stomach. She looked so delicate.
She's staring at me, looking a little nervous, so I give her a small nod to
let her know I was going to start, and kneeled to the floor, keeping my
distance. I lifted the camera and framed my shot, her long, voluptuous body
taking up the whole thing. With a small click, I entomb the image forever.
I take a look at it, smiling at the innocent shot. I walk over to my bed,
and hold out my camera for her. She takes it sheepishly, her eyes widening
at the picture I took of her. I watch closely as her face lightens up, lips
curving into a small smile. When the pale blue of her eyes meets mine, my
knees almost give out.
She looks so... appreciative and happy. Like I've given her the world.
"You can take as many as you'd like." She tells me.
 I smile down at her, and move back to my original position across the
room. She lays back into the same position, but this time smiles. Her face
looks radiant, so I zoom in quickly and capture the moment, the spark in her
eyes that seems to become stronger day by day.
I continue to take more and more pictures. Emma gets comfortable fast,
and I quickly find out that she is a natural model. She moves fluidly, holds
intense eye contact with the lens, and knows just how to keep it dirty and
sultry, yet strikingly pure.
It's when she is laying facing the ceiling, back arching, knees bent, and
hand disappearing between her thighs that I start to get excited. I move
closer, snapping from different angles, playing with the aspect ratio in my
settings in-between shots. I stand on the bed, getting some shots from
above. She follows my instructions well and fans her hair out. I step over
her, my feet on either side of her waist.
She lets me take a few pictures of her upper body before she lets out an
adorable giggle. I smile at the sound and ask, "What?"
She suppresses another small laugh and says, "Well, it's just a weird
view."
I furrow my brows and look down. It was just then that I realized I had
never put my underwear back on, instead spending this whole time in the
nude. She probably had the gnarliest view of my private bits. I breathed out
a laugh, and stepped down off the bed. I place my camera next to her and
walked to my closet to fish out some underwear.
When I come back out, she's sifting through the camera, studying my
shots. When I step up to her, my fingers comb through her hair, making it
look a little messier, like we had just had sex.
She looks up at me, "These are amazing, Harry."
I blush at her sincerity, "Thank you. It's been awhile since I've really
taken any pictures, so I'm a bit rusty."
She shakes her head immediately, "No, no, baby, I love these. They look
so artistic, and not slaggy at all. Are you going to make these black and
white?" She asks me curiously.
I think for a second, "Some of them, I think, but others... others would
lose what's special about them."
"And what's that?"
"Here, let me show you." I sit next to her, and take the camera back. I sift
through all our shots and land on the one of her back arched off the bed,
like she was mid-orgasm. "This one would be perfect for black and white.
Has a timeless feel to it, and it doesn't need the pop of color, whereas..." I
search for my most recent image, where she's looking up at me, hair fanned
out, breasts covered in her delicate lace, nipples visible, but they aren't the
focus. "this one, the color enhances the picture. This one is full of life, clear
in your eyes. It captures the striking blue tones and truly just... speaks to
you."
I stare at it fondly, knowing I would love to get it framed and hung in my
home. When I look at Emma, she's staring at me. Her eyes are soft, and she
brings her fingers up to graze my cheekbones and then my jaw.
"You're too sweet to me, Harry." She says.
I just look at her and say earnestly, "Just treating you the way you
deserve, angel."
There was a furrow of brows so minuscule I almost didn't see it. She
looked so lost for a second before gathering herself and smiling at me. She
stands up, "Do you want to take any more?"
I nod, "Maybe the chair over there?" I point to the same chair I was
handcuffed in, "And a few on the windowsill."
She looks at the large window overlooking my backyard. The curtain was
always open, since I liked natural light, and waking up to the sun. She
smiled and made her way over to the chair, her knees on the cushion, hands
griping the back of the chair. She whips her hair away from her shoulder
and turns her head to look at me.
With my camera up, I peer at her through the lens. Her lace panties frame
her ass so perfectly, showing off the roundness that makes my mouth water
on most days while the straps of the garter belt stretch down her thighs,
elongating them. Her eyes hold a mischievous look, making me want to
discover all her secrets. The smile playing on her lips was inviting, and I
knew instantly how much I loved this picture.
We spend some time on the chair, her body draping, and, at one point,
turning upside down, so her long brown hair, flowed to the ground while
her breasts pooled upwards. The way she twisted her legs together was so
alluring almost begging me to pry them apart and taste her as she took me
down her throat.
I willed away a stiffy, not believing that she really had me hard again.
Never had a woman effected me this way. It was astounding. I should be
absolutely sent after the bj and fuck we just had, but I could easily go
another round. This time I would be able to take control and my hands
could hold and squeeze and stroke any part of her I wanted.
I cleared my throat, "Let's move to the windowsill." I suggest.
She nods, and hops off the chair, swaying her hips as she makes her way
the my large window. I don't even think she realized what she was doing. It
was just the way she naturally walked. I remember all those months ago
when I had first noticed her at the gym, and would see other men watch her
walk by, eyes glued to her ass. I could never understand why I felt so angry,
why it effected me so, but it was like my body and mind knew. Knew what
she was going to be for me.
I decided a while ago that there was no way to fight it: the feelings
developing every day for my angel. It was a futile battle. There was no way
I would tell her what I was feeling until I got some surefire signs that she
was feeling the same and wouldn't run the moment the words slipped from
my mouth.
Sometimes they just left my lips without permission, though. Like earlier
when I had told her she was everything. That was the second time I had
made that confession, and I didn't quite understand how she didn't realize
what I meant by it. Maybe she did, and I was being far too cautious about
us, but then I would remember how devastated she was on Sunday when
she opened up to me about the texts and harassment she was dealing with
from her ex. She needed more time. She needed to heal, and respect and
love herself. I wanted her to feel like the queen she was when it happened.
The shots on the windowsill started off so innocent, her hands gracefully
holding the white drape with the same over-the-shoulder look as before.
Then she's sitting on the ledge, both feet perched up and away from her
body. She arches her back off the side after a few clicks of my camera, and I
can't help but wonder what she would look like with the sun shining in,
framing her angelic body. One leg comes off the ledge, and dangles
elegantly, her other knee bent, but then her hands roam up her chest, over
her breasts making their way to her neck where they caress so sensually.
With one hand making its way down to her breasts again, this time staying
there, her other combs through her hair.
Her eyes are closed the entire time, a click of his camera, and she shifts
ever so slightly. Another click and I exhale a deep breath, feeling warm.
Another click, and suddenly her striking blue eyes are open, and her head is
turned to me. I come a little closer to capture the moment. Then watch
through the lens as her eyes flicker down and darken.
I'm painfully aware at how hard I am, but I don't address it. Instead, I
continue to take her picture. Watching as she turns more towards me, eyes
never leaving my large bulge. I'm sure there's a wet spot near my tip where
I'm already leaking, because of course I am. This is Emma, after all, and I
have not an ounce of shame at how worked up and weepy she gets me.
But then she keeps her leg up on the sill, turned completely toward me,
and spreads her other leg farther apart. My breath is stolen from me as I am
reminded of the missing piece of fabric that usually covers her core. Now
I've got a perfect view of her sweet, wet pussy.
There's no click this time around. I toss the camera lightly to my bed, and
walk quickly over to her. Her eyes are excited as I reach her, crashing my
lips into hers. There's no hesitation as she welcomes my embrace,
deepening it with her tongue, and hands slipping into the backside of my
underwear. She gropes at the supple flesh of my ass, and pushes me into
her. I practically growl at the heat radiating from her core, hands moving
from her face to grip her knees.
I slide her easily to the middle of the window, and grip both her knees,
pushing them into the cold glass. I can feel the little goosebumps appearing
on her legs, and groan out, "Thank fuck for yoga."
She giggles against my mouth making me smile. Her hands push down
my boxer briefs just enough to free my erection, balls slipping out as well.
They felt so full and I was throbbing, and no one should have this much
power over me. Able to make me hard at the drop of a hat. To make me
cum three times in a night. It should be impossible, but then again this was
Emma. Everything seemed possible with her.
She tugged me nearer, positioning me at her entrance, and separated from
my lips. We both looked down, and my heart nearly falters at the sight of
her body, clad in lingerie, cunt weeping for my cock. We watch with open
mouths as I push in.
It seems tighter than ever, no prepping to open her up, but she accepts me
anyways. Like she was made for me. She keens as I go deeper and deeper,
my slow pace dragging on the process of burying myself to my hilt.
When I finally hit my end, I still, basking of the feeling of her pulsing
around me. Her soft walls soaked in her arousal, and she's so warm. It
makes my body buzz at the feeling, and I have to look up to see her
expression, to know she's effected the same.
I'm not disappointed when my eyes meet hers. She looks as though she's
in a daze, eyes fogged over, pupils dilated. She smiles softly at me and nods
her head like she reading my thoughts and confirming the feeling flowing
through her body.
My lips meet hers as I pull out and push back in, my grip tightening on
her legs. Fuck, it feels so right to have her wrapped around me, and I could
cum right now, but I know my body won't let me until she's the one
cumming around me.
I bite down on her lip, changing up the position slightly as I slip her legs
over my arms, so her knees are resting at my elbows, and my palms are flat
on the glass. I thrust into her rougher, more unbridled than before,
quickening my pace until she can't kiss me any longer.
I'm so consumed by her. Her warmth, her soft skin, her smell, the jiggle
of her breasts, and the feel of her heavy pants littering my neck and jaw. I
nip at her jaw, and nose at her cheek, grunting and groaning at how much
bliss is rolling through me.
She's so slick and inviting, and she's begging for more, so I'm pounding
into her, and like before I lose control of my words, leaning in close to her
ear to say, "Don't know how you do it, angel. Shouldn't be able to get me
hard so easily. Shouldn't be able to use my cock three times in one night.
Didn't even know I had enough cum for that."
"Please... want it." She whines, clawing at my back.
I smile devilishly, "Want my cum, yeah? Want me to fill you up until I'm
leaking out of you." She nods mindlessly. "Know I can't say no to my angel.
Treat me so well, you do. Take me so perfectly like we're made for each
other."
"Oh god!" She gasps out, her climax building within her.
"Can feel me in your tummy, can't you? Oh, fuck... keep squeezing,
darling. Need you to cum." My face scrunches up as I hold my orgasm
back, "How do you do it? How do you have this power over me? Could
probably fuck you all night if you let me."
"Harry, baby..."
"Love it when you call me that." I admit, completely lost in her. "Look at
me."
 Her eyes open with my request, and I stare into them. I commit the color
of my dreams to my memory, wanting them seared into my mind for
eternity. I keep her face close to mine, and nearly whimper when her soft
hands cup my cheeks.
My pace is rigorous as I fuck into her, knowing I'm also hitting her clit
over and over again. Our skin slapping and our pants are echoing through
my bedroom. It's all so much, but not enough. I'm searching her eyes for
answers to my silent questions, and it's like she cans sense the sudden
distress from me, her hands moving to my hair and threading her fingers
through it softly.
It's such a contrast to how rough I'm thrusting into her, and I wonder
what it would feel like to slow down and stretch this out.
Before I get the chance to do it, she tenses her body, walls clenching
down erratically. Her eyes stay on mine, now fisting my hair as her orgasm
rips through her. I watch her in awe, mesmerized by the spark and emotion
in her striking blue eyes, how her mouth opens wide in a silent scream, but
a strangled moan escapes instead. I'm enthralled by her beauty, her
unbridled pleasure shooting through her, giving me a perfect view of her at
her most vulnerable.
I work her through her high, determined to drag it out as long as possible.
She holds my eyes the entire time, gratitude and ecstasy the two main
emotions. My thrusts turn sloppy as I feel the waves crash through me,
relief flooding me as several long spurts of cum shoot into her. She's still
clenching, lapping up my release greedily, and I struggle to keep my eyes
open, but force them to meet hers.
"I've got you." She whispers, and I gasp out as if another orgasm rages
through me. More cum leaves me, my balls feeling sensitive as they empty.
I succumb to the feeling, my eyes closing tightly, forehead meeting hers. I
can feel the heated gaze of her eyes as she watches me completely lose it.
I've never came harder in my life, and I've never lost control the way I have
just now.
I'm breathing roughly, moving my head to the crook of her neck - my
favorite place. I breathe her in as she plays with my hair, and just like
before I stay seated inside her. She's just so warm and soft that I think if I
were to separate now my knees would give out. She's giving me that extra
strength, letting me gather myself.
 After a few minutes, she whispers, "Harry, baby, we need to get you to
bed." I whine causing her to giggle. I twitch at the feeling of her walls
clench lightly as she does. "Sorry."
I shake my head, "Just so good. So good to me." I slur.
"Hmm, I really did a number on you tonight." She says amused.
I groan, "Perfect."
She lets me have my way for another minute before she's bringing me out
from her neck, and smiling softly at me, "You feel so good inside me, but
it's time for bed, okay?"
I nod my head slowly, pulling out slowly. We both watch as I do this, just
as we had when I slipped into her. I exhale watching myself leak out of her,
messing up her pretty panties. She giggles again, and somehow I have
enough strength to pick her up, her arms and legs wrapping around me
koala style.
I take her to the bathroom and set her down on my counter, wetting a rag
in warm water.
"I'm surprised you didn't drop me. You seemed so wobbly earlier." She
said quietly, watching me as I spread her legs and cleaned her up.
"Knew I had to clean you up. Can't let you go to bed all messy." I answer
her.
My fingers move to her garter belt, snapping it off, and I kneel to the
floor so I can roll her stockings down.
"Can we sleep naked tonight?"
I look up at her with an amused smile, "Do you even have to ask?"
She laughs, "Just wanted to feel you as we fall asleep." She pauses before
saying, "Only get you for one more night before you leave me."
I pout as I stand up, reaching behind her to unclip her bra, "My angel
gonna miss me?"
She blushes and looks down, but answers, "Might not be able to be with
you until Thursday. That's a whole week."
I frown. Sure, we'll see each other at the gym, but we can't touch each
other the way we will want to. "How about this. I'll be back Tuesday
morning. We'll have our training session, and then you'll come home with
me, okay?"
"Tuesday?" She asks as I make her stand up, so I can slip off her panties.
"Tuesday." I confirm, then I send her a smirk, "Maybe I'll send you dirty
little texts all weekend. That way when you get home you can read 'em and
get all wet, and use the toys I got you."
She groans, "Harry, stop! Can't get me all worked up again before bed."
I laugh lightly, "Alright, angel, I'll quit. Let's go to bed, yeah?"
She surprises me with a short kiss, "I'll meet you out there. Gotta take my
makeup off."
I nod, and exit the bathroom, throwing my dirty clothes into the hamper,
along with her lingerie. I'll need to hand wash them, which I'm sure will
only get me hard again, but I'll do that before I leave for the weekend.
I crawl into my bed, staring at the ceiling and wait for her to join me.
When she steps out, fresh faced and hair in a sloppy bun, I smile at her. She
turns the lights off and crawls in next to me. My heart warms when she
immediately presses into my side, leg hooked over mine, and rests her head
on my chest. I pull her closer, kissing her forehead and whisper,
"Goodnight, angel."
"Goodnight, baby." She answers back, already slipping into her sleep.
I move my body, turning towards her, and hook her leg over my hip, so
our bodies are flush together. She grumbles a bit at the movement, but gets
comfortable by threading her fingers through my hair and burying her face
into my neck. I hum at the feeling, falling asleep with a smile on my face.
Chapter Twenty-Four

EMMA
Right as I was walking out of my classroom to meet Niall, Jake walked in
and closed the door behind him.
"Jake, I don't have time for this. I've got places to be." I tell him
impatiently.
"Did you block me?" He asks.
I roll my eyes, "Yes, I did. Are we done here?"
"Don't give me attitude, Emma." He threatens me.
I raise my eyebrows at him, "Then don't make me, Jake. I don't
understand how you just can't get that I am done with you. Of course I
blocked you. You've been harassing me for months."
"I haven't been harassing you-"
He was interrupted by a knock at the door. It opened a second later,
revealing Niall. He looked between us cautiously, but walked in anyways.
"Hey, love, just wondering where you were. We're supposed to meet
everyone in a bit." He says, staring down Jake the entire time.
I could see Jake clench his jaw, about to say something, but I stopped
him. "Jake, just leave. I don't want you here. I don't want to talk to you
anymore. We've been over for months, thanks to you, so maybe you should
start acting like it."
He scoffs, "Like I want you. I'm in a happy relationship-"
"Then why are you here?" I ask.
"Because you blocked me for no reason!" He hissed out at me, taking a
step closer.
Niall takes a step in as well, a hand on my lower back to know he's right
there. I roll my eyes at me ex, "You know exactly why I blocked you.
You're just pissed because I'm not letting you control my life anymore!"
 He's absolutely fuming now, eyes dark as they've ever been. He doesn't
get to take a step closer, though, because Niall's there, hand flat on Jake's
chest. With just a simple push back, Jake blinks as if he just realized Niall
was in the room with us. Before he even got the chance to storm out, Niall
took hold of my elbow and led us out. Not until we got to the parking lot
did he let go of me.
"Niall, please don't mention that to anyone." I ask him.
He gives me a look, "You know, love, this is the second time you've
asked me that."
I sigh, "I know. I just don't want them fretting over me."
"It's okay to open up to people, Emma."
I turn to look at him, "I know, and I promise you I am talking to
someone. He's helped me a lot, and he's the reasoned why I blocked Jake in
the first place."
"He? Are you talking about Harry?"
My eyes widen and I feel my face warm, "Uh, wait-what?"
Niall smiles widely at my reaction, "Ah, so there is something going on
between you two."
"No, there isn't." I say quickly.
"Then why are you so red right now?" He asks me smugly. I stare at him
speechless, heart racing, wondering how he knew.
I finally gave in, "How did you know?"
A triumphant look crosses his face, "Well, it wasn't that hard. You two
are a bit obvious with the heated glances you share, and the look on Harry's
face when he saw me walking in with you last Friday. Thought he might
bite my head off."
"Oh." Is all I could say.
"So, how long have you two been together? Or is this one of those things
where you're not together, but you desperately want to like Luanne and
Oliver?" He carries on, prodding me into his car. "Figured Harry will offer a
ride home. Maura says we're going bar hopping tonight, or something."
"We're aren't together together." I tell him slowly.
"Ah," a look of understanding crosses over his face, "You're sleeping
together."
I hide my face, completely embarrassed that I'm telling this to a guy I met
a week ago. Niall has already seen me at my lowest, and was now talking to
me about my love life.
 "No need to get all shy, love." He chuckles, "You like him, no?"
"I-uh, well, we-" I take a deep breath, "I-I don't know."
"Well, that's bullshit." Niall says bluntly.
"No, it's not." I refute.
"Yes, it is. It's clear as day how you two are all starry-eyed over each
other."
I groan loudly, "Niall, he doesn't like me like that. Don't even know how
you got that idea."
He raises his eyebrows at me, "I got that idea from the glares I got from
him last week until he saw how distraught you were. Then there was him
sitting so close to you, and watching you so closely. Then you two were
texting each other right in front of all of us-"
"What? No, we-"
"Don't even try and deny that one. Maura even told me how mad he got
when they told him what happened with your ex, and that's when I knew for
sure." He finishes.
"Maura told you that, huh? Been seeing her recently?" I ask, changing the
subject.
"Been seeing a lot of her, actually. Like the shit out of that girl." He says
honestly, "See, that wasn't so hard. Easy for me to admit I liked someone.
Now you try."
"Niall!" I whine.
He laughs, "Fine, fine, I won't make you, but honestly what would be so
bad if you liked him? He seems like a good guy."
"He's a great guy." I say quietly, staring out at the street in front of us.
I can feel Niall's eyes burning into the side of my face, but he doesn't say
anything. He leaves me to my own thoughts, driving quietly to the bar.
We're the first ones there, so we sit down, and wait for the others.
"You know, I am glad he's helping you through what you're dealing with.
Jake doesn't seem like he's all there, to be honest." Niall says after a minute
of awkward silence.
I nod, "Don't know what's going on with him, but, yeah, Harry's really
helped me with it. He's even got him and Mike teaching me some self-
defense."
He looks at me for a moment, "Do you think he would get physical?"
I pause and think about his question, "I don't know. A month ago I
would've said no way, but he's... he's just different now."
 "Hmm, well you've got me at school, and I'm sure Harry would rather tie
himself to traintracks before letting anyone hurt you." He teases, but makes
me feel all warm inside anyways.
"Shut up." I mumble and push his shoulder.
Hours later and several drinks in, we're at our third bar, this one being
much more crowded and rowdier. It's definitely not the normal pub style we
were used to, but we were celebrating Mike and Naomi's big news. Mike
was the life of the party, Naomi rolling her eyes at her drunk and ecstatic
husband who couldn't stop telling people that he was going to be a father.
He kept her at his side the entire time, showing her off, and holding her
belly as if she was already showing.
It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Mike's enthusiasm had spread to the
whole group, causing everyone to get a little tipsy. Niall and Maura, both
Irish and able to hold their own, drank more than any of us, yet seemed just
a teensy bit loopy. They weren't holding back any affection, Niall's hand
consistently on some part of her body.
I spent most my time with Lu, trying not to stare at Harry too much. He
kept catching my eye, and I know he was thinking about last night,
picturing me in that lingerie he was obsessed with. Occasionally, he would
give me little smiles, or if he was walking past me he would touch the small
of my back. Niall kept giving me knowing glances but I just brushed him
off and continued my chat with Lu.
Luanne was literally the coolest person I had ever met. She had story
after story of bands she toured along with to write ups articles, and she had
even done a prestigious internship with a paper out of college that focused
on investigative journalism.
"Oli really helped me out when I was doing that. He was already in the
force, a rookie, at the time, and gave me a lot of details on how they
handled cases, and the right people to talk to. Would've done horribly if I
didn't have him, really." She told me.
I try and hold back my smirk, but fail miserably. "What?" She asks.
"Well, you've just brought up Oliver like eight different times since we
got here." I tell her.
She blinks, "Oh, well... he's a good friend, of course I talk about him."
"Just a friend?" I press even further. She gives me a look, but I don't back
down, "You've been trying to hook me up with your brother. I think I have
enough agency to tease you about a guy you obviously like."
 She cringes, "Is it really that obvious?"
I pretend to think it over, "Yes."
She groans, "That's so embarrassing. Everyone knows."
"Can I ask why you two don't do anything about your feelings? It's
obvious he likes you."
"I know he does." She frowns, looking off in the distance behind me,
"But he's Harry's best friends, and I'm his best friends little sister. It's
completely off limits."
I furrow my brows, "Are you sure Harry even cares?"
She pauses, "Of course he does. He's always been super protective of me.
Never liked a single one of my boyfriends-"
"Well, that's because they were all assholes." I say without thinking.
Harry had gone on an in-depth rant about Luanne's many exes and flings. I
add quickly, "From what I gather at least. The guy on Halloween was a
creep, and then there was Marcus and you know how I feel about him. He
obviously likes Oliver, so I think he would be fine with it."
"You think?" She asks.
I shrug, adding a nonchalant, "Don't know him too well, but I think he
would rather you date someone he knows cares about you."
She looks at me for a second, but then her face falls, "Doesn't matter.
He's chatting up some bird right now. Can't even be mad, because I bring
around all the guys I see."
I turn to look at where she's glaring. My breath hitches as I see both
Oliver and Harry talking to two pretty girls. In my rational head, I can
clearly see how bored Harry is, not interested at all, probably just trying to
be a good wingman, but in my jealousy filled mind all I see is the girl
touching his arm, and leaning in to him.
Luanne scoffs next to me, "Why do they have to be so pretty?"
I'm glaring at them from across the bar, downing my drink when the girl
next to Harry flits up to her tiptoes and whispers something in his ear. I feel
a little vindicated when he presses his mouth in a straight line and shakes
his head. I'm hoping he straight up denied her, but I couldn't stand seeing
her so close to him any longer.
"Fuck this. I'm gonna go get some air." Luanne says miserably, and walks
away.
I take this as my chance, walking briskly towards Harry. I gracefully
walk around the girl who really is just trying to get some action - and I can't
blame her for choosing Harry - like she wasn't even there, my hands finding
his chest.
"Hey, baby." I say to him, leaning up to peck his lips.
I would've never normally done this, but Oliver already knew about us.
Fuck, he probably knew I like it when Harry choked me and spanked me
until my ass was raw. Kissing Harry in front of him was no big deal. I knew
the others were on the top floor of the bar playing games, so there was no
chance in them seeing us either.
Harry definitely looked surprised, but a moment later a look of
understanding crossed his face. After that a smug look of satisfaction
replaced it, arm wrapping around me, and pulling me closer.
"Hello, angel." He smirked down at me.
The girl backed away quickly, now understanding he was taken,
respecting my claim of him. I felt a little bad, because she seemed like she
was just trying to get a good dicking. I looked over at Oliver who was
chuckling and shaking his head at us.
"Mind if I steal him for a bit?" I ask him.
He gives me a look, "He's all yours."
I grab Harry's hand, but before I pull him away I put my hand on Oli's
shoulder, and say, "Lu's outside getting some air if you want to go and join
her."
A small look of guilt crosses his face before he nods and walks away. I
lead Harry through the crowd, both our hands gripping each other's, and
walk down a long hall to where the bathrooms are located. I sneak us
farther down the hall, where I'm sure only employees are allowed, but I
don't care.
I turn around quickly, pushing him up against the wall, and crash my lips
into his. He responds immediately, pulling me in tight, one hand holding the
back of my neck. It's deep and passionate, and I'm reminding him that he's
mine.
"Angel... angel." He says, trying to separate from me, but I pull him back
in, needing more. He complies easily, kissing me fiercely like he's been
holding back all night.
When we finally do separate, he smiles proudly, humming, "Someone got
a little jealous."
I don't even try and fight it, instead saying, "You're mine."
 "That's right, angel. I'm yours." He whispers before kissing me again. We
don't let up this time, wanting more than we're able to give right now. He's
got his hands on my ass, pulling me into his hips.
"Hey! No making out over here. This is for employees only."
We break away quickly, and look towards a bouncer who was making his
way towards us. Harry moves his hands up and stands up straight, slightly
in front of me, "Sorry man, we'll head back out."
I snort and press my forehead against the back of his bicep, holding onto
his hand with both of mine. The bouncer just walks past us, rolling his eyes,
obviously just annoyed at another horny couple. We burst out laughing after
he turns the corner, Harry bringing me in for a hug before he looks down at
me softly, "Let's go back out there. I'll make up some excuse to take you
home."
"I can pretend I'm really drunk." I suggest happily, liking the sound of
going home with him. "Think I could pull it off."
He laughs more, "Well, seeing as you're pretty tipsy right now, I bet you
could."
"I haven't drank in so long! Forgot what it feels like. I'm all floaty." I
smile up at him, taking his hand in mine.
"You're so cute." He chuckles, returning my smile.
I blush and follow him back out the hall, but stop abruptly. "I have to
pee."
He raised his eyebrows, "Well, okay, then. I'll meet you by the bar? I'll
try and find Mike and Naomi to say goodbye."
I salute him, and turn swiftly, heading back towards the restroom. I
opened the door, happy there wasn't a line our anything, and walk into a
stall.
The moment I sit down, I become painfully aware that I am not alone. I
hear heavy breathing to my left, a small moan. I bend down, letting my
curiosity win. Peering through the gap under the stalls I see, very clearly,
three feet. Two men and one woman. I furrow my brows for a second, but
then realize that the guy is probably holding up her leg.
I stifle a laugh, and pee quickly. They seem to amp up a bit, not even
realizing that someone is in the bathroom with them. They don't even stop
when I flush the toilet or start washing my hands. Instead they go harder. I
can tell the girl is getting close, but then her hand quickly comes up to grip
the top of the stall door, a loud gasp following close behind.
 I'm a little jealous, but then I remember that Harry's taking us home, and
I'll get to fuck him dirty. I'm drying off my hands when the stall door opens,
my jaw dropping when I see the two people walk out.
Maura stops abruptly, face matching mine, but also glowing from the
clear orgasm she just had, while Niall walks out behind her sucking on three
of his fingers. He also stops abruptly, eyes wide.
There's a moment of silence between all three of us before I burst out
laughing. They relax a bit as I wave them goodbye, and leave the restroom
still chuckling.
I shake my head and look for Harry at the bar. I spot him towards the end
talking to Mike and Naomi. She spots me first, waving me towards them.
Harry turns his head, and smiles at me.
As I reach them, he asks, "Ready to go?"
I nod, "Yeah, I'm a bit tired. Thanks for offering to drive me home,
Harry."
"No problem." He shrugs, "It is getting a little late, and I'm not twenty-
one anymore."
"We're so old!" Mike exclaims.
I laugh, "Don't say that!"
"When did we become adults? Don't even remember doing that!" He says
again.
"Alright, I think we should head out." Harry says, "Congratulations again
you guys." He hugs both Mike and Naomi, giving Naomi a kiss on the
cheeks.
"Thanks, Harry." Naomi chuckles, "I should get him home anyways."
I hug them goodbye as well, squeezing when I got a bear hug from Mike.
Harry laughs and leads me out with his hand on my lower back. When we
exit the club, he gives me his jacket which warms my heart, and takes my
hand, walking me to the car.
I bite my lip to hide my smile, but he sees it anyways, a squeeze of my
hand as acknowledgment.
†††
"Fuck!" I gasp out as his fingers find my clit.
We had been at it for a while, our bodies sweating and hot on his couch.
We hadn't even made it to his bedroom before I pushed him down and
straddled him. We were now in our fourth position, keeping ourselves
edging purposefully. I was currently riding him reverse cowgirl, hands
gripping his knees as I bobbed myself up and down on his cock. I was tired
and already sore, but I could never stop with him.
"That's right, angel. Oh god, that feels so good." He moans out when I
start to swivel my hips instead. "Get what you need from me. Remember
this cock is yours. Belongs to you, angel."
"Mine." I mumble out, using one hand to cup his hand on my clit, and
press him down harder.
"Yours... Show me how you want it, Em."
I control his speed and pressure, until I start to whimper, letting him take
over. I knew we wouldn't stop this time. Knew that we would let ourselves
go. I return to bobbing, the harsh sound of my skin meeting his ringing
through my ears.
He starts to buck into me, leaning forward to whisper into my ear, "My
cock is yours, Emma, just as your pussy belongs to me. God, can feel it
squeezing, angel. C'mon, fuck me!"
I cry out as I feel myself start to tip to the edge, his words pushing me
over. My body shutters as my vision goes white, and I feel myself start to
float. He leans us back as his orgasm crashed over him, my body melting
into his chest as he held me tightly.
When we came back down, we smiled dreamily and kissed, his hands
caressing my heated skin.
"Shower?" He asks.
I nod my head and stand up off him, clenching, so he doesn't drip out of
me. He laughs as I awkwardly run upstairs, and into his bathroom. I pee and
wipe myself up before he comes in. I take my makeup off before joining
him, relishing in the feel of his hands lathering soap onto my skin.
An hour later, we're cuddled up in his bed watching some tv show. We're
naked and it's so warm, and my body feels buzzy. The alcohol had worn off
a while ago, so I knew it wasn't that. I was just happy and content, and this
felt so right.
My face was resting against his chest, and I couldn't stop myself from
turning in slightly, and pressing a soft kiss to his chest. His hand tightened
on my side as he lolled his head over to look at me. He had a soft smile on
his face, and tucked some of my hair behind my ear.
"Can we skip the gym tomorrow?" He asks me.
I hum, "Don't want to wake up early, huh?"
 "Just would rather sleep in with you until I have to pick up Lu. Figured I
could make breakfast, and we could watch an early morning movie, or start
a show maybe. There's this one on Netflix I've been meaning to check out."
I listen to him explain the show, my eyes gazing at him fondly when he
gets a little animated, using his hands a lot, but always placing them right
back on me.
I can't explain the feeling in my chest. I'm so warm. All over. I've never
felt this comfortable before, and I suddenly realize how many times I had
thought that being with Harry, like every time I was with him a new level of
comfort was unveiled.
"I'd like that a lot." I tell him, finger tracing the numbers etched into his
skin. He had already told me that it was his mothers birthdate. "What's your
family like?"
He pauses a second, "It's big." I smile widely and he continues, "Got my
parents and three siblings. Then there's all the cousins and nieces and
nephews. Just seems to keep getting bigger, honestly."
"I can't even imagine."
"Yeah, so Lu's the youngest, then me, then my brother Jason who's got
three kids, and then Rebecca's the oldest. She has four kids." He explains to
me.
"And they're all going to be there this weekend?" I ask.
He nods, "Yep, Jason and Rebecca live back in our hometown with my
parents, so that's pretty normal. They're just adding me and Lu." He
chuckles.
"Shit, how do your parents manage?" My mom could barely handle me,
let alone four kids and seven grandchildren.
"Oh, they love it. They're absolutely obsessed with kids. They're both
retired now, and it's free childcare for my siblings, which is awesome, but
now that Jason and Rebecca are done having kids, my mom's been on mine
and Lu's case."
"Oh no." I laugh.
He gives me a look, "You think it's funny? My mother is relentless.
Remember she's a lot like yours. Just wait til you meet her, and you won't
be laughing."
My heart skips a beat, but I don't ask him what he meant. That would be
too much too soon.
 "What about you? Just you and your mom, right?" He asks, playing with
my hair.
I nod, "Yeah, just us. She's amazing, though. She worked so hard for us
never have to worry about money. I didn't even realize that was an issue
until I took a peek at our mail one day and saw all the bills. Got a job when
I was fourteen at a flower shop to her out. Mom was not happy, but I did it
anyways. I still never went without anything, though."
"I really like your mom. She's very funny." He smirks at me.
I roll my eyes, "She's nosy. Hasn't stopped asking about you."
"Yeah?" His face lights up, "What do you tell her?"
"Well, I tried telling her you were a friend, but she called me a liar. Now
she's brings you up out of nowhere trying to get me to slip up." I tell him,
"She's very persistent, though. I wouldn't be surprised if she bugged my
place, and comes down when she figures you're staying the night."
Harry bursts out laughing, "That is exactly what my mother would do!"
"What about your dad?" I ask him.
Harry hums, "Much calmer of a human being than my mother. He's a
listener. Likes to know about people, instead of talking about himself."
"So, like you." I say, nudging my leg in-between his.
He smiles, "I guess. Did you ever know your dad?"
I shake my head, "No, he left my mom in the middle of her pregnancy."
Harry's brows furrow, "What a coward."
"That's what I always thought." I chuckled a bit, "We were better off
without him, honestly. I would rather he left us then than later."
"Would you ever try and track him down?" Harry asked me.
I smiled, loving how free and open we were asking such personal
questions. It felt so good talking to someone about this. Not one person has
ever asked these questions.
"No. As far as I'm concerned he's nothing. He won't provide anything for
me, because I don't need closure or have any questions. He just didn't want
a kid, and I accepted that a long time ago."
He doesn't say anything, just looking at me fondly, but with a seriousness
about him. I keep eye contact waiting for him to say something, but instead
he leans down and kisses me.
It's so soft, a little tentative. We don't share many kisses like this, so when
we do I like to cherish them. He turns towards me, and we deepen our
embrace. We take our time, slowly exploring each other. His hand softly
cups my cheek, thumb gently grazing my face. My hands are on his chest,
one directly above his heart, feeling the intense pace it's beating at.
My own clenches at the thought that this means something to him. That
this simple, soft kiss is more important than what we did earlier. I brush the
feeling off quickly, though. I couldn't get my hopes up.
As we continue our embrace, I start to miss him. He's not even gone yet,
and I already miss him.
Chapter Twenty-Five

HARRY
"You're late." Luanne says pointedly.
She was right. I was supposed to pick her up fifteen minutes ago, but got
held up. I had done my last load of laundry, and knew I needed to wash
Emma's lingerie, so it wouldn't get gross. Within a minute my cock was
suffocating in my pants. There was no way it would go away on its own, so
I gave myself a nice long handy, picturing Emma on her knees, stroking me,
letting me cum on her tits.
But Luanne didn't need to know that.
"Sorry, bathroom emergency." I say, taking her bag and putting it in the
trunk, knowing she wouldn't question that.
"Gross." She mumbles and gets in, "I let mom know we're running a little
late."
"Nothing new. Bet she told us to be there a whole hour earlier just so we
would be on time." I say.
She laughs at this, "She definitely has."
We pick up some food on the way out of town, just the music playing for
a little while. My phone dings in the cupholder, but I ignore it. When I don't
check it, it dings again, this time Lu picking it up.
"Who's Angel?" She asks.
My eyes widen, and I snatch the phone away from her, putting it in the
side of my door. "No one." I answer quickly.
She raises her eyebrows at me, "Oh, really? That's the answer you're
going with?"
"Lu, just drop it." I sigh out, knowing full well that was never going to
happen.
"Nope, are you seeing this Angel? Boy or girl? Is angel their name, or
just a nickname?" She rattles off her questions.
 I roll my eyes, "She is just a girl I'm hooking up with. Nothing more."
I've had to say those words a few times, and every time it gets
progressively harder to say. Especially after last night, and how perfect it
was.
"What hookup texts you to drive safe, and to let you know when you get
there?" She asks not believing a word I just said.
I smile at this, happy that Emma had thought to text me that. I shake my
head and shrugged, "We're friends."
"You are so full of shit, you know."
I laugh at that, "Yeah, well it's my life. I'll tell you if it's important."
She groans, but gives in, "Fine, don't tell your favorite sister. I do have a
question for you, though."
I would've rolled my eyes again, but she sounded nervous all of a sudden.
"Yeah?"
"Um, well... Have you ever talked to Oli about me?" She asked
hesitantly.
Shit. We were finally having this conversation.
"About what exactly?" I ask her.
She bites her lip, not looking me in the eyes, "About how he might feel
about me...?"
I pause, "Yeah, I have."
"Have you ever, like, forbid him from asking me out or anything."
I furrow my brows, "Uh, no. I don't own you Lu. I would never do that."
She looks at me with her big green eyes, and I sigh, "Look, we don't really
talk about whatever is going on with you two. He told me he liked you
years ago, but he wouldn't make a move, because you were my sister."
She doesn't say anything for a minute, "Would it bug you if we were
together?"
"I don't know, Lu." I tell her, "On one hand, it makes me nervous,
because we're all friends and if you two didn't work out it could get super
awkward, but on the other hand... I trust him." I look at her for a moment
before returning to the road in front of me, "Lu, for the past few years
you've seen no one but assholes. Every single one of them was awful. I
know Oliver wouldn't treat you like that. He would fucking worship you."
Her eyes soften, and she smiles sadly, "He's really great, isn't he?"
"You know, I've never actually asked you how you feel about him." I
mention, "Would it be something serious with him, or not, because I also
don't want you to hurt him."
She shakes her head immediately, "No, I do really like him. Always
have." She thinks for a moment, "You know, I remember the first day we
met and everything. I thought he was so cute, but he was older and your
friend, and completely off-limits. Now we're both older and friends, and..."
"And?" I push her.
I want Lu to be happy, and if that means with my best friend, then who
am I to stop them. I don't control either of them. They're adults and will
have to deal with the consequences if things don't work out.
"And I think I've been choosing shitty guys, because I only want him."
"Then go for it." I say simply.
Her head whips towards mine, "Wait, really?"
I chuckle at her surprise, "Yeah, if you think it's worth risking, then yes."
She takes a deep breath, "I haven't talked to Oli about any of this. Don't
even know if he wants to try-"
"He will." I say with an eye roll.
She breathes out a laugh, burying her face in her hands. When she lifts
her head she's got a bright smile on, "We'll take it slow. Just a few dates to
start out with to see if it'll work. Fuck, we're not even talking right now."
She says to herself.
I look at her confused. They were fine last night. "Why?" I ask.
"Got into a fight last night." She tells me, "After I saw him grafting that
girl with you. We just kind of blew up at each other."
"Well, I couldn't imagine liking someone, and then having to see them try
and get with other people. You two have been doing that for years. It was
bound to blow up eventually. I'm sure everything's going to be fine by
Friday. Oli can't hold a grudge against you." He's in love with you.
She smiles at me gratefully, "Thanks, H. You know, you give great
advice."
I laugh, "Thanks Lu."
"Maybe you should take mine and see if it runs in the family." She adds
smugly.
I groan, "Not this again."
We bicker back and forth the entire way there, telling Lu multiple times
that I'm not seeing anyone, and technically I'm not lying. It's actually kind
of fun, feeling like it's been forever since it's just been us. Usually, we're
surrounded by all our friends or family.
 When we got to my parents house, our mom greets us at the door. "Hello,
loves!" She kisses our cheeks and hugs us.
I laugh at how she's acting like she hasn't seen us in years. She tuts at me,
and pushes me into the house. I go upstairs to put mine and Lu's bags in our
respective rooms. Our parents hadn't changed a thing since the last time we
lived here, so my room was like a weird time capsule from nearly a decade
ago.
"Hey, man, you guys finally got here." I turn around to see Jason with his
daughter on his hip.
"Hawwy!" She greets me excitedly.
I chuckle, "Hey, bug, how are you?" I ask the little girl, taking her from
her dads arms.
Jason rolls his eyes, "Of course, go right for the cute kid. You're such a
mush, Harry."
"Can't help it if I like your kid better than you." I tease, heart melting as
Rosie hugs me tightly and giggles.
"How was the drive up?" He asks.
"Fine, Lu and I couldn't stop bickering." I tell him.
He laughs, "What's new?"
"She's convinced she needs to meddle in my love life or something." I
gripe.
"Ah, anything new on the horizon, H? Been a while for you, yeah?"
Groaning, I say, "Not you too!"
"Hey, there you two are." We look towards the doorway to see our dad
enter, "Your mother's been fretting over Luanne for the past ten minutes, so
I think you should get down there and save her."
"Alright, ready to go, bug?" I ask the Rosie as she tugged at my hair.
"Yeah!" She yells in my ear.
Laughing, I take her downstairs, picking up another one of the kids when
I get to the bottom. Now with Rosie and the even younger Marley, I stepped
into the kitchen where mom was talking to Lu about her hair.
"Honey, I really think you should try that light pink color everyone is
doing."
"Mom, I like the lavender right now, and anyways I think I'll go dark next
time."
My mom sees me, her eyes lighting up with the picture of me and the
kids on my arms. "Wait, right there!" She exclaims, "I need a picture of
this!"
I roll my eyes, and share a knowing look with my sister. I keep the kids
laughing and smiling as my mom takes way too many pictures. "Mom,
that's enough! My arms are about to give out." I tell her as I laugh. I put the
kids down, watching them run off to where I'm sure the other kids are,
"What's for dinner? Can I help?"
"Making homemade lasagna and a salad. Do you mind checking the
sauce? See if it needs anything?" She asks me.
Luanne throws her hands in the air, "You just told me there was nothing
to help you with! Now I look like the bad child."
I laugh while my mom waves her off, "Lu, you know you're not allowed
in the kitchen after you nearly burned the house down on Christmas."
"That was like fifteen years ago! Will I ever live that down?" She cries
out.
"Are we talking about when we had to call nine-nine-nine on Christmas,
and mom ended up feeding seven firemen?" Rebecca says, walking into the
kitchen with Toni, Jason's wife, and a glass of wine in her hand.
"Not you too!" Luanne groans, leaning defeatedly on her face on her
propped up hand.
"Love that story." Toni says, "Hey, Harry!"
"Hey, Toni, how have you been?" I ask her, tasting the sauce and adding
more garlic to it.
"Exhausted. I can't wait until the kids are old enough to go to school, and
I can work again." She tells me.
When Jason and Toni decided to start a family, Toni said she would be a
stay-at-home mom while the kids were young. She wasn't happy with her
career at the time, and Jason worked at a big law firm here in the city, so he
could support them.
"I love those kids, but if I have to watch Frozen one more time..."
I laughed at her tone, but Rebecca's eyes widened, "Do not say that word!
The kids will hear, and we'll have to put it on."
My mom laughed, "The joys of children. So, when are you two starting a
family?"
Both Luanne and I groan, but I tune out Lu's response when my phone
buzzed.
From Angel: Did you get home safe?
I smile at my phone, and type out a response.
 To Angel: Yes, sorry I got distracted.
"Hey, mom, can you send me one of those pics you just took of me,
Rosie, and Marley. Naomi was asking about them. Did you know she's
pregnant?" I say to distract her a little more.
She squeals, quickly sending me one of the pictures. I send it off to to
Emma. A second later I get a text back.
From Angel: Jesus, you trying to make my uterus explode?
I stifled my laugh, trying not to bring attention to myself. I half listen to
my family talk and bicker and joke while texting Emma back and forth. I
couldn't believe how much I missed her. I had been gone for half a day, and
I was wishing she was by my side. I didn't know how I was going to last
three days without her.
I helped mom finish the rest of dinner, and we all sat down to eat. It felt
good to be home with everyone. The kids ate at the small table we sat up for
them since there were so many adults. I got to catch up with Rebecca's wife
Chloe who was also in finance. She had her own business that did risk
management and financial analysis for companies. I couldn't help but get
excited when talking to her. Everyone tuned us out as we talked numbers
and she gave me some insight on what she did for the last company that
hired her.
It wasn't until the sun went down, kids went to sleep, and the adults
settled down that I found myself on the back porch by myself, drinking
wine and texting Emma. I was debating whether or not to call her, but I
didn't want Lu to overhear, or, even worse, my mom to overhear. I would
never hear the end of it all weekend if she caught me talking dirty with
Emma.
"So, who've you been texting all day?"
My head whipped up to see Rebecca walking over to the chair next to
me. She too had a glass of wine, like she had all day, in her hand. She was
smirking at me, and pointed to my phone.
"Just a friend." I answer back casually.
Rebecca laughed, "Harry, you've never been able to lie to me. Spill."
It's true. For some odd reason, Rebecca had been the only person I had
never been able to lie to. While everyone else thought that I hid my feelings
too well, she was able to read me like a book.
I sigh and lean back in my chair, "This is just between me and you, okay?
Don't want anyone knowing about it right now." She nods, sipping at her
wine, "There's this girl..."
"Ah, just as all good stories start." She says.
I roll my eyes and laugh, "Yeah, well, we're, uh, seeing each other?"
Her brows shoot up, "Why do you sound so unsure?"
I hesitate before blurting out, "She's my friends with benefits."
"Oh," She smirks and says, "Now that's how all the good stories start."
I groan, "I don't know if I should tell you now."
"No, no, go on." She presses.
I take a deep breath, "We didn't really know each other when we first...
you know."
"Had sex."
"Yep." I say. Rebecca had never been one to shy away from the topic.
"We go to the same gym, and it just kind of happened. And then it happened
again."
"As it does."
"Um, and it just felt different. Every time. I've been sleeping around and
having one-night-stands for... six years now. Since Carla and I broke up,
and it had been so unsatisfying." I tell her.
"What do you mean?" She asks.
I pause before admitting, "For the past year or so it's been difficult to
even stay hard. It was all so boring."
Her brows shoot up again, "Oh, I see."
"Yeah, then Emma comes along-"
"Emma? That's her name?" She asks.
I nod, "Emma comes along and it's immediately different. We, uh... try
things out."
"So, you're saying your kinky?" She asks point blank.
"Shit, Bec, don't say that so loud. I really don't need mom to walk out and
try and give me advice on what to do with the girl I'm fucking." I say, "But,
yeah, we are sexually compatible, I guess."
"She gets your rocks off?"
I groan, "Oh my god, Bec-"
She laughs, "Okay, I'm done, I promise."
I give her a look, "I suggested one night that we do the friends with
benefits thing, because we both wanted to explore our limits and stuff. And
it's amazing. She's amazing. What she does to me is like nothing I've-" I
breathe out, "She's just amazing."
 "I'm guessing this is the part where you tell me you've fallen for her?"
Rebecca asks and downs the rest of her wine.
I breathe out a laugh, "Pathetically, yes. How cliche is that?"
"So what makes her so special. More than all the girls and guys you've
been sleeping with the past few years?"
A smile crosses my face when I think of her, "Well, she's absolutely
beautiful. Like the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She's also really
smart and sweet. So kind. She'll put everyone's happiness before her own.
She's funny, like she knows all these random animal facts, and will just
blurt them out, and it's so cute."
"You seem pretty deep." She commented.
I sigh at this, "Too deep. She doesn't want anything more right now. She's
still getting over her piece of shit ex, who is, like, stalking her. I'm trying to
take it slow, but failing miserably. I don't want to scare her away. I think
she's a bit flighty."
"Do you think she likes you like that?"
I nod immediately, "Yeah, I think so. She takes care of me, you know?"
Rebecca smiles softly, "Sounds like you guys are already in a
relationship."
"Sometimes it feels like that, but then we'll be hanging out with our
friends, and we have to act like we barely know each other-"
"Wait, I thought you guys met at the gym?" She interrupts.
"We did. Mike goes with me all the time, and knew Emma a bit. He
invited her out with us to the bar we got to every Friday night, talked her
into it, because it's Mike, and because it's her everyone loved her. Now she's
one of us."
"That must be hard."
I rub my face with my palms, "You have no idea. All I ever want to do is
touch her, claim her as mine, and I can't. And I have to sit there while guys
eye her across the bar thinking they have a chance with her when they
don't."
"Oh my, you're a possessive one." She remarks.
"No, we agreed that we're exclusive." I tell her, "She did get jealous last
night when some girl was flirting with me. She got all possessive."
"Oh, really?" She smirked, "That's a good sign, H."
"Yeah, I just don't want to say anything that's going to make her run the
other way."
 "You mean, like you love her?"
My face warms, "I don't love her."
"Yeah, okay." Rebecca snorts.
I roll my head back in frustration, "Rebecca, you're supposed to be giving
me advice."
"Honestly, I think you're doing just fine. Let her take her time to sort out
her shit. If you care for her like you say you do then wait for her." She says,
"And don't tell her your madly in love with her."
"Rebecca!" I yell, flinging one of the chair pillows at her.
She laughs loudly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Did I ever tell you that Chloe
and I started out as friends with benefits?"
I looked at her surprised, "Really?"
"Yeah, we were just fuck buddies for like three months until she got
super jealous thinking my roommate was in love with me, which she ended
up being right about."
"Okay, so you guys got into some fight and confessed your feelings?" I
pressed, curious to how they opened up.
"Basically. She was being all snippy, and I called her out on it. She
mentioned how she thought the girl I was living with was trying to break us
up, or something. I said no. We got into a big fight, and when I vented to
my roommate about the whole thing she made a move on me. The moment
she kissed me I felt like I was cheating, and I pushed her away, realizing
how I was in love with Chloe. I raced over to her place in the rain - very
romantic like - and told her. Now we have four very loud children together."
She finishes.
"Wow, quite the story." I tell her, wondering how I never knew about this.
"Yeah, been thinking about writing a book about it." She teases.
I playfully push her shoulders, and we fall into a comfortable silence. It's
a minute or two later when I say quietly, "I'm scared to lose her."
She looks over at me, "You can't be scared your whole life, Harry. At
some point you need to come clean, whether or not she feels the same or
doesn't."
†††
My thumb hovered over the call button for what seemed like forever. It
was midnight, and everyone was asleep, but I couldn't get her out of my
head.
Taking a deep breath, I called her.
 It only rang twice before she answered, "Hello?"
Fuck, she sounded so happy.
"Hello, angel."
I can practically see her bright smile, "How's the fam?"
I laugh, "Loud. How was your day?"
"Pretty boring. Cleaned my apartment, went to the grocery store, so I can
make Millie some chicken fried rice for dinner tomorrow, then went to the
gym. Ran into Mike, so I made him sign up for another spin class, which he
did fairly better than this time."
I'm smiling wide, "That sounds nice and relaxing compared to my day.
The kids were all extremely hyper, and my mom was on one. Kept hinting
that she's gonna need another round of babies soon, since the kids are now
toddlers or in grade school."
"Well, when they're as cute as the two you showed me then I totally
understand her." She teases, "I'm glad you called."
"Yeah?" I ask a little breathlessly.
"Yeah, been staring at my ceiling trying to fall asleep for the last hour."
She admits.
I chuckle, "You know, that's exactly what I've been doing."
"Hmm, well you know what might help us?" Her voice goes a little
deeper, sending shivers down my spine.
I slip further down the bed, getting comfortable, my hand sneaking down
into my underwear. I'm already hard, just by hearing her voice over the
phone. I squeeze myself, holding back a moan.
"Tell me, angel." I ask breathlessly.
There's a pause, "Are you touching yourself, baby?"
"Mhm."
"Good. Do you have lotion nearby?"
"Um... yeah, I think so. Jus' a second." I scramble off the bed, and make
my way to my bag. I pull out a small bottle of lotion I always carry in there.
Returning to my comfortable position, this time, pulling my cock and balls
out of my underwear. It stood straight up, and I couldn't help but stare at it.
"Okay, I've got it. Cock's so hard, angel, standing straight up begging for
you." I watch myself twitch at my own words.
She giggles lightly, making my heart jump, "You're so sweet. Get your
hand all slick for me, yeah?"
 I do as I'm told, making sure both hands have a glorious amount of lotion
on. The phone is held between my ear and shoulder as I say, "I'm ready. You
touching yourself?"
So far any time we have had phone sex, she's got me off, but never has
she touched herself.
"Do you want me to?"
"Oh god, yes, please. Wanna hear you cum, so bad."
"You stroking yourself yet?" She asks, and I hear the unmistakable intake
of breath she always has when I touch her for the first time. "How does it
feel, baby?"
I'm breathless already, eyes closed as I touch myself, "Hard, so hard. Vein
is actually throbbing, angel. I'm going slow, making my strokes feel like
forever, cause I'm just so big. Don't know how your little hand fits around
me."
She moans softly, and I can just picture her slowly grazing her fingers up
and down her folds. She asks greedily, "Are you leaking yet?"
I peer down to where my hand is stroking my ridiculously hard cock,
"No, angel. Need something from you first. How do you feel?"
"Wet. So fucking wet it's dripping down to my ass. Soft, as well," She
groans lewdly, "And warm, fuck, I'm so warm. Get why you always want to
stay inside me."
"Would fucking sleep buried deep inside you. Got no clue how much I
love your pussy, Emma." I see the smallest drop of pre-cum bead at my slit.
"There we are. Got me leaking now. What do you want me to do with it?"
"Want you to taste yourself." She tells me breathlessly.
I thumb the drop of cum up, and bring it to my lips. I lap it up gleefully,
loving the heady, salty taste of myself, "Oh god, tastes so good. Wish I
could taste you, angel. You're so sweet. How many fingers do you have in?"
"Two, just two, and I'm so tight, Harry. Don't think you would even fit."
She teases.
I growl at that, squeezing and speeding up my strokes, "I always fit, Em.
Pussies made for me innit? Spread your legs wider, and push in a third for
me?"
I listen silently as she does so, keening when I know she's stretching
herself on my orders. "How does that feel, huh? Filling you up more?"
"Wish it was you." She admits, "Always wish it was you."
 My heart beats loudly in my ear, and I slow down my strokes, "Do you
have your toys? The big one I got you?"
"Uh, yeah, under my bed."
"Want you to get it out and fuck yourself with it. Turn it on full vibration
and don't let up." I tell her firmly.
"Fuck." She whispers and I hear the faint sound of the springs of her bed,
letting me know she's following my orders. I hear some shuffling, focusing
on my head, thumbing over the tip lazily, waiting for her. "Okay, okay, I've
got it."
"Think it'll fit, angel? Got you the closest one to my size I could find."
"Mhm, you always fit." She says mindlessly, and I can hear the sound of
buzzing, "What are you doing right now?"
"Just playing with my tip." I tell her.
"Want you to cup your balls, and squeeze up your cock, like you're
pushing into me, okay?"
"Fuck yeah." I say, doing as she says. It's like we're in sync, the moment I
squeeze, a beautiful moan finding my ears. "That's right, angel, take me.
You all in?"
"Mhm," She whimpers.
"Angle up a bit. That's where I always find your G-spot, and pulse
against it. Don't let up til you're cumming, do you hear?"
"Yes, yes, yes, oh god, wish you were here. Want you here." She mumbles
out.
My heart hurts at her words, wanting her with me more than anything.
My strokes speed up while I cup my balls, "I'm right here. I'm right here,
Emma. You're making me feel so good. God, I'm leaking everywhere."
"I'm so close, baby."
I'm right there as well, "Let go, angel. Cum around our toy as if it were
my cock."
A high pitched squeal leaves her as she reaches her high, "Harry..."
With the song of my name leaving her lips, my own orgasm washes over
me. Hot cum covers my stomach and chest as I tug on myself. I wish
desperately that I was either cumming in or on Emma, but hearing her pant
as she came down from her climax was going to have to be enough.
"Fucking hell..." I exhale, placing my now soft dick on my leg. I lay,
panting, staring up at the ceiling. I can sense she's doing the same thing,
"How was that, angel?"
 "Good, really good." She mumbles out sleepily.
I chuckle, "Sounds like you could fall asleep any second now."
"Mhm, gotta clean up though. Made a mess."
"Our toy all covered in your cum? Wish I could lick it clean."
"You're filthy, Harry. Absolutely filthy." She laughs.
"You love it, angel." I tease.
"It's true." She admits, and we fall into silence as we both realize what
was just said. My heart was beating rapidly, but I didn't want to get my
hopes up. If I knew Emma then she was going to change the subject. "Bet
you're all messy, huh?"
There we go. "Yeah, wiping myself up right now."
She whines, "Should've sent me a picture first."
I smile wide, "And you say I'm filthy."
She laughed loudly, and I heard water turn on in the background. I threw
away the dirty cleenex, and pulled up my underwear. I laid back in bed, arm
resting behind my head, "Do you have any plans tomorrow?"
"Just the gym as usual. Maura and Naomi invited me out shopping, so I'll
probably hang with them for a while, then dinner with Millie." She tells me.
"How's Millie doing?" I ask her.
She sighed, "Well, she's got to get extra checkups, because of some
complication."
I furrow my brows, "Wait, what complication?"
"Something to do with her cervix, I guess. She might be forced into a c-
section. I don't know, Millie wouldn't tell me the details, because she thinks
I worry too much about her." She tells me, and I could hear how much it
was weighing on her.
"Shit, I'm sorry, Emma. Know you care a lot about her. Does she have
any family?" I ask, "What about the father?"
"The sperm donor left her stranded downtown when she told him she was
pregnant." She told me, an iciness in her voice I had never heard. I felt a bit
of anger rise in me, quite liking Millie myself, and not imagining why
anyone would leave their child. "As for her family, well, Millie's terrified to
tell them. She thinks they'll disown her, because she had to drop out of uni.
She had a terrible first trimester and missed class too much, so they were
gonna fail her even under the circumstances."
"That doesn't seem fair." I remark.
 Emma laugh humorlessly, "Yeah, well, it's almost always the woman who
has to give things up when they get pregnant. I got her a job at the bar, but
she can't stay on her feet for that long anymore, so she's been temping and
picking up random jobs here and there."
"Is that why you cook for her every Sunday, and then send her home
with, like, four days worth of leftovers?" I ask with a small smile on myself.
She actually chuckles at this, "Yeah, don't want her to have to worry
about shopping for food all the time. My stuff will usually last until
Thursday, which means she just has to feed herself for two days."
"Sounds like something you would do."
There's silence for a few seconds before she says, "Millie reminds me of
my mom."
I hum, the two stories sounding pretty familiar, "I get that. Have you
talked to Millie about opening up to her parents?"
"Yeah, but she won't listen. She's been talking to them on the phone for
months as if nothing's wrong. Won't go and visit them, and makes a ton of
excuses for them not to come up here." She sighs, "Just worry about her."
"Course you do, angel. She's in a tough spot, and you care. She needs
someone like you." I tell her sincerely.
"I wish I could help her more, you know?" She confesses making my
heart twist, "She needs more."
"You're helping her to more than most people would, Emma. I think
you're doing more than you think." I say firmly, "If there's anything I can do
just let me know, okay?"
She pauses, "You're so sweet, Harry."
I turn on my side, hugging my pillow, and smile, "I really am, aren't I?"
"Yeah, I take that back." She says dryly.
I laugh, trying to muffle the sound with the pillow so no one will wake
up. "You in bed?"
"Mhm, little cold... Wish you were here to warm me up. You're like a
furnace."
I try and temper my smile, but it doesn't work, "You're making me blush,
angel."
"That was the goal." She teases.
We're silent for about a minute just listening to each other breathe, before
I say, heart pounding in my chest, "I can't wait until Tuesday."
"I know." She says quietly, "Will you call me tomorrow night?"
 "Yeah, I'd like that." I answer back. I glance at the old clock on my
nightstand, "Almost one in the morning, angel. You should get some rest."
"Only if you do."
I breathe out a laugh, "Have a good day tomorrow. Text me when you
wake up. I'm sure I'll be awake pretty early to make breakfast for
everyone."
"That's so cute!" She coos, "Alright, I'll let you get some rest. Goodnight,
Harry."
"Goodnight, Emma."
Chapter Twenty-Six

EMMA
I'm sifting through Netflix trying to find something to watch. It's late
Monday night and I knew Harry was driving back, so I wouldn't be getting
a call from him. Yesterday we ended up talking for two hours straight about
almost nothing, but somehow everything. We hadn't had a chance to really
speak to each other today, however. Harry had been busy doing something
with his dad and brother.
It was close to ten p.m., and I wasn't even close to being tired. I knew I
would regret staying up, but I kind of wanted to see if Harry would text me
goodnight.
Things were going well. Almost too well. It was easy with Harry, like we
had known each other for longer than a few months. He was genuinely
helping me deal with my issues, too. Even though things were still bad with
Jake, that much was evidence from today, I felt better about the situation. I
felt in control.
It wasn't like I didn't know what was going on wasn't serious, or
unhealthy for me, but I hadn't felt like I had the courage to do anything
about it. I hadn't felt like myself in years, and to be honest I had never quite
felt like I knew who I was. I was always searching for that, but being with
Harry had changed me. I was starting to feel like I belonged in my body. I
was starting to feel like I was in control of my life for the first time.
A knock at my door shook me out of my thoughts. My face scrunches up
in confusion, and I go to my door uneasily. I'm not a complete idiot, so I
look through my peephole first.
My heart races as I quickly open the door. In front of me is a bright
smiling, albeit tired, Harry. I don't have to ask him to come in before he's
got his arms around my waist, lifting me up, and spinning me around.
"Harry!" I squeal and laugh, trying not to be too loud.
 He sets me down, and not a second later is kissing me. I grab his
shoulders to steady myself, the force of his kiss making my legs weak. With
a few lingering pecks he pulls away and smiles sheepishly, "Sorry."
"Why are you saying sorry?"
"For barging in like that. For inviting myself over." He says.
I shake my head, "Don't be. You're welcome here whenever. Plus, I
missed you." I admit.
He looks down, hiding the blush forming on his cheeks, "So you're okay
if I stay the night?"
I scoff, "Harry, I would be offended if you didn't."
With that he brings his bag inside, putting it in my room before joining
me on the couch. He maneuvers us around until he's on top of me, face
buried into my neck, arms wrapped tight around me. It's like he's giving me
a bear hug, breathing me in and mumbling into my skin. I can't hear what
he's saying but I let him melt into me.
It feels good to be wanted.
My hand plays with his hair while the other grazes a finger up and down
the back of his neck. He hums at the feeling, and we stay like that for
awhile. I could probably fall asleep right now with how comfortable I am.
He's so soft and warm, making my body buzz underneath him.
I'm actually thinking he fell asleep when he moves his head to my
shoulder and say, "Thank you."
I smile, not able to really look at him because of our position, but I start
to massage his neck and shoulders. He moans and closes his eyes, "That
feels so good, angel."
"Figured it was a long drive and you might be a little tense."
"That's why I came here. Got all the way to my house, and it felt too
empty." He mumbled out, melting into me further. I bite back my smile, and
weave or legs together more. "Knew you'd help. How was your day?"
I pause for a second before deciding to answer honestly, "It was fine.
Work was normal, but then some of the teachers went out to celebrate
Niall's first week."
"Aren't they all like fifty and older?"
I laugh, "Not all of them. A lot are still in their thirties and forties. Don't
think they get out much, though, cause some of them definitely drank too
much." He huffed a laugh into my neck. "Jake went."
 He briefly tensed up, hands tightening on my sides for a second. He took
a deep breath and asked, "Did he talk to you."
I nodded, "He was drinking, and he always gets mean when he drinks."
"Angel, what did he say?"
I could hear the edge in his voice, and hesitated to continue, "Um, well,
just the normal stuff. Talked about how I was gonna sleep with Niall,
because I'm a whore."
"That's not what's bugging you though." Harry says, slipping an arm out
from under me, and propping himself up on his elbow. "What else did he
say?"
I furrow my brows at Harry, looking into his caring green eyes. I don't
know how Harry read me so well. I cleared my throat, "Just kind of...
brought some stuff up from when we were dating. That he just thought I
was a good fuck, and lead me on because it was fun to watch me get my
hopes up. Then all the normal stuff like no one could love me, and that I
would come crawling back to him when I was lonely."
He practically growls, "Fucking hate that-"
"Harry, it's okay. I took care of it. He isn't very happy with my choice of
words, and I might've told him that I faked every orgasm with him." A large
grin appeared on my lips, "Should've seen the look on his face."
He chuckles, "Yeah? Seems like the type of guy whose ego couldn't
handle not getting a girl off."
"I also told him I was getting fucked very well on a daily basis." I pulled
him back down to me, missing the weight of him on my chest. He nestled in
quickly, returning to the crook of my neck. "Told him how much bigger you
were too."
A puff of air hits my skin as he breathes out a laugh, "Proud you stood up
for yourself, angel."
I shrug awkwardly in our position, "He's just mad cause he didn't get to
finish yelling at me on Friday about blocking him, and had no way to make
me feel like shit this whole weekend. Tell you what: it was amazing not to
dread the sound of my phone going off. Like a breath of fresh air."
"Wait, Friday? What happened Friday?" Harry asked, lifting off me
again.
I pout, "No, come back down." He stared me down, however, and I
sighed, "I forgot to tell you, because of everything that happened Friday.
Didn't even get the chance until we were back home, and by then I
completely forgot myself."
His eyes softened, but he pressed, "What happened?"
"He came into my classroom as I was trying to leave, and asked me if I
blocked him. I told him yes, because he was harassing me. He tried to deny,
but then Niall came in and pulled me out when Jake got a bit too close-"
"Too close? What the fuck does that mean?"
"Harry, calm down." I bring my hand up to cup his cheeks. "Baby, it's all
okay. Nothing was going to happen. We were at a school with children, so I
was completely safe."
He searched my eyes for any sense that I was hiding anything else, but
when he didn't find anything he seemed to relax a little.
He let out a long breath, "Can you promise to tell me when something
like that happens again? Right away. I don't care if I'm at work. I want to
know."
I looked at him for a long second before conceding. "I promise. But you
have to promise me to trust me. I can handle this, Harry. I might've let him
do this for months, but I'm better now. I'm stronger and more confident, and
I can stick up for myself."
He smiles, "I know, angel. You're so strong, you can handle anything. It's
just starting to worry me. He's been at this for months, and doesn't seem to
be slowing down."
"Baby, he will. Once he realizes I don't want him anymore, he will." I
comb my fingers through his, pushing hit back to of his face.
"What if he doesn't?"
I didn't answer him. For the first time I could see how distressed he was
by all this. It warmed my heart knowing that he cared so much, but I didn't
want a knight in shining armor.
"He will." I say after a minute. I hold his gaze, promising him silently
that everything will be okay.
"Okay." He breathes out.
I can see it still bothering him, and I don't like it. I don't want him to have
to worry about me.
"Will you kiss me already?" I ask him, a smirk playing on my lips.
Slowly, I watch a smile creep onto his face, eyes softening as he looks
down on me. I give him a pout and he laughs, leaning down to capture my
bottom lip between his.
 From the moment his lips touch mine, I'm lost in him. Like always his
lips are so soft and inviting. His hold on me is so gentle, like I could break
any moment, but I won't. I'm not fragile or weak anymore. Harry's made
sure of it. His words have drifted into my soul, healing and repairing the
fractured bits of me that have been torn apart.
I deepen the kiss, holding onto him more greedily. Within minutes our
sweet little kiss was a full blown make-out. I had pulled his shirt off, so I
could feel the warmth of his chest, whereas he had his hand down my
sweats. Or rather his sweats. He was teasing me, though. His fingers danced
over the cloth of my panties, and every time it would send shivers down my
body. He would smirk against my mouth as I did this, enjoying every
second.
I bit lightly on his lip, and pulled away, "Stop teasing me."
He cupped me heat harshly, "But it's so fun, angel. Love watching you
get all worked up."
"If you don't touch me right now then the next time you're tied up I'll
leave you hard for hours while you have to watch me touch myself over and
over again."
His eyes darken, and a puff of air leaves his body, "Fuck." He whispers.
All of a sudden he sits up, and unbuttons his pants, "You think you can
walk around your place wearing my clothes, and say something like that
without me fucking your brains out, angel?"
I whimper at his words, pawing at his pants to get them off. I know I'm
completely drenched now, from his teasing and sudden turn of desperation.
I'm so turned on, three days of not have him touch me being too long.
"I think you'll have to fuck my brains out a few times, baby." I suggest.
He groans as he strips off the rest of his clothes, moving to rip off my
sweats and panties, and says, "A few times, huh? Think you'll need my cock
all night. Gotta teach you not to have such a smart mouth." I start to take off
his uni sweatshirt that I basically live in at home, when he stops me. "No,
no, want you to keep this on."
I'm a little confused considering he loves my breasts so much, but I lower
the sweatshirt back down. He takes my leg and hooks it over his shoulder,
while pressing my other down, so my knee was near my armpit. Without
warning he slides into me.
"Ah!" I let out. Even though I'm wet enough for him to easily enter me,
he's so big that I usually need him to prep me beforehand. He stills inside
me, clear ecstasy written on his pained face. I know he's overcome with
how tight I am around him, and my walls were pulsating as they tried
expanding for him.
He has to lower himself down, arms seemingly a little weak as he tried to
gather himself. He bit down on my shoulder, taking a moment to himself as
I started to relax.
"Sorry, so sorry. Just had to be inside you. Had to, had to. Been too long."
He mumbles into my sweatshirt, "Never leaving you again."
My heart clenches at his words, my core mimicking making him moan
out in pleasure. I'm getting antsy, wanting to feel him more, "C'mon, baby,
fuck me, please fuck me."
His hand tightened around my knee, and he pulled out only to slam back
into me. I cry out at the feeling, a soft "yes" leaving my lips, and I kept my
eyes open to watch him sit back up and thrust into me over and over. His
eyes stayed glued to where we were connected, and I felt jealous of his
view. I glanced down to see his thick cock glistening in my arousal, gliding
into me gracefully, yet hard, the sound of it reaching my ears.
I reach down and start playing with my clit, Harry's arms nearly giving
out as he now watched my hands and his cock both working me. He looked
like he couldn't believe what was happening, amazed at the sight in front of
him. His eyes suddenly flicker to mine and he pounds into me harder, a
clear look of rapture in his eyes.
His eyes don't move from mine as I start to unravel, the feeling of him in
and out of me, hitting my spot over and over again, with the addition of my
fingers rubbing my clit expertly. My hips start to buck into him as I feel that
familiar knot inside me twist and pull. He doesn't let up, eyes boring into
mine as he watches me tip over the edge.
I moan his name out in ecstasy, my eyes shutting tight, mouth wide open
as my orgasm rushes through me. His thrusts continue, working me through
my high, elongating it. Before I'm even completely finished he pulls out,
letting up on my legs, so they straighten out. My eyes open hazily, but
Harry flips me around quickly. I'm lying flat on my stomach when he
spreads my legs open, and thrusts back into me.
His body is on top of me, face buried into my neck, as he fucks me.
Instead of furiously pounding into me, he has a steady rhythm of rolling
thrusts. My head is turned, cheek against the cushion, and I see his hand fist
as it holds him up. He's getting close, but if I know him, I know that he will
hold back until he gives me a second orgasm.
I stick my butt up slightly, my hips lifting off the couch to make it easier
on him. The position makes it a little harder to move, but there was
something about the dominant way his body felt over mine. I liked feeling
him pressed up against me like we were spooning.
He was gasping and moaning into my neck, holding it back, but I knew I
was close. I was still extra sensitive, so him slipping in and out of me felt
like my body was on fire. I was pulsating around him, so ready, and the
moment he is forced to let go I cum hard.
"Oh god!" I yell out as his cum fills me to the brim. My body feels as
though it's vibrating, limbs weightless, my orgasm lasting seemingly
forever.
I don't even know when I come down, just that Harry had stilled inside
me. He was panting against my skin, lips grazing as he lulled his head back
and forth. I peeked my eyes open to see him eyes closed and a loopy smile
gracing his face. He blinked his eyes open and met mine, his comforting
greens eyes sending shivers down my whole body.
"If I'm gonna fuck you all night then I need snacks."
†††
When my alarm rang the next morning I did not want to get up.
True to his words, Harry had fucked me all night. After our eighth round
we feel asleep, not even cleaning up this time. We were exhausted and
spent, bodies numb with pleasure. All I remember is him pulling out and
collapsing on top of me, mumbling something into my ear as I hugged him
to my chest, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
I groaned hearing my alarm, and picked it up. It was six fifteen in the
morning. I had gotten roughly two and a half hours of sleep.
"Turn it off." Harry grumbled next to me.
I turn off the alarm and slid my phone back onto my nightstand. I roll
onto my back, throwing my arm over my eyes. As tired as I was I did not
regret last night. Never had I had a sex marathon like that. It was never
ending. Right when we would gather ourselves, and think maybe we were
done Harry or I would do or say something that made the other pounce right
back onto them.
The bed moved as Harry situated himself differently. I smiled when I felt
him lay in-between my legs, resting his head on my stomach. His cheek
smushed against my belly while his messy hair tickled the swell of my
breasts.
"You're so comfortable." He mutters, squeezing my side with his hand.
I hum taking my fingers to his unruly hair, "We need to get up soon.
We've both got work today."
He shakes his head, "No, don't want to. Let's play hooky."
I laughed, "What are we? Sixteen?"
"Just think. We could sleep in for a few more hours, take a morning bath
filled with bubbles and nice oils. I'll treat you to lunch, too. We can hang
out all day, and check out the winter market downtown? Been wanting to
go, and heard it looks incredibly festive. Lights lit up and Christmas trees
all around..."
I think about it for a minute. I don't know if Harry was being serious. Did
he actually want me to call in sick, and spend the day with him. Could he
even do that with his job?
About a minute later I say timidly, "I've got plenty of sick leave."
He doesn't say anything right away, instead lifting his head and resting
his chin on my stomach. After another moment of studying the
apprehension on my face, he slinks up my body, so he can look at me better.
"Yeah? Would you want to do that. I've got some sick leave, as well." He
says.
I shrug, "Don't think I'll be of much use today anyways. Pretty sure I
would fall asleep teaching kids how to add double digits."
He smiles, "Well, there's no way I'll be able to focus on numbers with
how exhausted I am."
"I think it's settled then, right? We'll play hooky?"
A large grin appeared on his face before he leaned down and kissed me.
It was shorter and simpler than any we had shared the night previous, and
when he pulled away, he exhaled a deep breath, saying, "Angel, I would
fuck you again, but I think you sucked me dry last. Might need a day to
recharge."
I burst out laughing, face blushing a bit, "That's okay, because I am
honestly so sore."
A smug look crossed his face, "Oh, yeah? Did I fuck my angel too good
last night?"
I pout, "Don't tease me. I'm too tired for that."
 He chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to my lips, "I'm sorry. Got to e-mail
my boss saying I'm not coming in today, and then we'll sleep for a few more
hours, okay?"
I nod happily, "Got to call in anyways, so they have enough time to get a
sub."
†††
Hours later, I'm laying against Harry's chest, soaking away in the bath he
drew for us. I had made us some smoothies for a late breakfast, so we were
sipping them as we lay in the hot water. Harry had fawned over the little
bruises he left on my thighs and hips when I had stripped off all my clothes.
After he made sure I was okay with them, he pressed his lips to each and
every one as I stepped into the water. He held me to his body, burying his
face into my neck.
After about ten minutes of resting and having idle conversation, he
picked up my loofa and squirted my body wash on it. He then began to
wash me, starting with my legs and the exact place I was sore. I flinched
when he brought it in-between my legs, but he just cooed in my ear and
continued.
He was so very gentle with the way he handled my body, and I could've
honestly fallen asleep again, but I wanted to return the favor. Once he was
done cleaning me up, taking particular time with my breasts, I turned
around and started on him. He laid back and watched me diligently as I took
my time on his chest. My free hand absentmindedly traced his tattoos while
I dipped lower and lower.
His head rolled back when I cleaned him up down below. I was careful as
I touched him, knowing he was just as sensitive as me. I was surprised
when he started to thicken, looking up at him to see him chuckle.
"Think that's all I've got left in me, angel."
I burst out laughing, leaning forward to rest my forehead on his shoulder.
He joined me in laughing, pulling me closer to his body, so I was straddling
his hips and flush against his chest.
"I can't believe we did that last night. Never had so much sex in one
night." I tell him.
"Me neither." He says, "Can't believe you got me so worked up. Over and
over and over-"
"Okay, that's enough." I pat his chest, and move to stand up.
 Before I could step out of the tub, he grabs my hips, keeping me still in
front of him. I look down in surprise, my hand flat against the wall. He eyed
me hungrily, the bruises littered on my skin entrancing him further.
Suddenly his eyes flickered up to mine, impossibly dark. I knew before
he moved me what he planned on doing, and even though I was still so
sensitive, I was also aching for him.
Slowly, he led me closer to his face, making sure I didn't slip on the
porcelain tub. My free hand moved to fist his hair when he placed two small
kisses on the insides of both thighs. His eyes didn't leave mine, however
when he pulled me forward one last step and licked up my slit.
I winced, fisting his hair tighter as he passes over my swollen clit. While
it was a bit painful, the pleasure outweighed it.
He hums, nosing at my clit, "Swollen and sensitive, yet so wet."
I gulped at his words, knowing his tone meant he wouldn't go easy on
me. All it had taken was a look to get me wet. Harry held that much power
over me.
He licked the flat of his tongue up my folds once more, teasing me,
"Been watching you sip that smoothie of yours, thinking of how sweet your
pussy tastes."
"Harry." I whine, shuffling my feet a bit.
"Hmm, what's that, angel? After begging me all night you still want
more? Can't get enough of daddy can you?"
I groan, "Not calling you daddy."
He nips at one of my lips, "You're so mean." He grumbles before
tonguing at my opening, but never pushing in.
My hand clenches in his hair, pulling him closer to my heat, "Baby, don't
tease me like this, and not do anything about it."
He breathes out a laugh, hitting my core and making me clench around
nothing, "Want my tongue?"
I nod mindlessly, "Yes, yes, always want your tongue."
With that he surged forward, sucking my clit into his mouth. I cry out at
the intense feeling, trying not to fall to the floor. Harry's hands held onto me
securely, ensuring my safety, so I lulled my forehead against the wall next
to my hand.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Harry!" I curse out as he pushed his tongue into me,
diving in an impressive amount.
 I roll my hips against his face, and he moans in pleasure. Seperating from
me with a salacious sound, he flicks his tongue against my clit once, twice,
three times and then taunts, "Never had you ride my face, angel. Tempted to
take you to bed right now, and make you sit on my face." I whimper, trying
to bring him back to my core, but he stops right before it, so I could feel
every puff of air that left him. "Think you're a bit too sensitive, though. Can
barely stand, can't you, Em?"
"Harry, please."
His eyes looked so dark as he turned his head and sucked a large love
bite into my thigh. He then moved back to my weeping cunt and devoured
it. His tongue moved mercilessly, sucking and licking and flicking my bud.
I hissed and moaned, nearly spewing tears from my eyes at the intense
overload of pleasure. My body was so tense, fighting against the idea of
pushing him away, the pleasure being almost too much.
His lips wrapped around my whole pussy as he plunged his tongue inside
me. He pulses it in and out, flexing it and curling it occasionally. I was
biting down on my forearm, holding in a scream, knowing my neighbors
wouldn't want to hear me like this. Tears stung my eyes as my body
exploded in white hot relief. I felt my legs go numb, only staying upright
due to Harry. My stomach felt as if it were being met with waves upon
waves of ecstasy.
My hips mindlessly rolled against his mouth, and he eagerly soaked up
every bit of cum I had left in me. When I came back down he was pecking
my folds. Every inch in the sweetest way possible. When I whimpered and
flinched after a kiss to my clit, he lowered me back down to the water. I
followed happily, cuddling into his body and ignoring the discomfort of my
knees against the hard porcelain.
He tilts my chin up, staring into my eyes for a second before he pulls me
in and kisses me. Without hesitation, both ur mouths open and our tongues
meet in the middle. I moan against him as I taste myself.
I love the taste of my cum on his tongue. I love that I'm the only one who
gets to say that about Harry. I love how his rough fingertips feel on the soft
skin of my back.
This moment feels so right, and I'm so content in my life. It's astounding
really, how not okay I was for months. How easy Harry seemingly repaired
me after months and months, really years, of me being miserable.
 "Angel, we're gonna get all pruny if we stay in here any longer, and
we've got a whole day to ourselves that I'd like to get started on."
The affection dripping off his words made my stomach flip, and the way
he was looking at me... well, I didn't even want to think about that. I nod,
trying to hold back the stupid grin threatening to appear on my lips.
Harry stands up first, pulling me up carefully, so I don't fall. My legs are
a bit wobbly still, body buzzing and tired now from my orgasm. He steps
out of the tub, and dries himself off with a towel, taking my hand when he's
done and watching me step out of the water carefully. I let my hands hold
and caress his shoulders and neck, more interested in the little savers and
goosebumps that cover him with just my touch. He dries me off diligently,
folding the towel up and hanging it on the rack.
He studies my face for a moment before smiling sweetly, and taking my
hand. I let him lead me back to my bed, and pull the covers down. He
brings my naked body flush against his, and combs the hair out of my face.
"It's still pretty early, Em. Why don't we take another nap, and then I'll
treat you to a nice lunch and take you to the winters market, yeah?" He
says, voice lolling me to sleep.
I hum, a drunk smile plastered on my face as I rest my cheek on his
chest. He's so warm, and his hands feel so good on my body, and, oh, now
he's swaying a bit, like he's rocking me to sleep.
"Sounds perfect." I mumble out, eyes blinking shut, "Except I'm gonna
treat you to lunch, got it?"
And the last thing I heard before falling asleep was the sound of his
beautiful laughter and a whisper of, "Whatever you want, angel."
Chapter Twenty-Seven

HARRY
When I asked Emma to play hooky with me I didn't actually expect her to
say yes.
My heart had skipped a beat when she mentioned she had some sick
leave, and the thought of her wanting to spend the day with me made me
bite back my huge smile. It was a perfect morning in my opinion. I got to
wake up next to my angel not once, not even twice, but three times after our
nap. Her soft skin pressed into my side sent warmth all through my body,
her little hand resting over my heart making the muscle squeeze, and the
small puffs of air that hit my neck as she rested her head on my shoulder
made me never want to leave her bed.
She was so soft in the morning too. Quiet and smily as she trudged
around the kitchen making our breakfast smoothies, and practically melting
into my chest once we were in our bath.
And then she let me eat her out even though she was swollen and
sensitive from our sex marathon.
Now we were out at lunch, a small deli she chose that was a few blocks
away from her apartment. The staff seemed to know her, even calling her
their favorite regular. Emma paid for us happily just as she told me she
would, and I smiled at the proud look on her face.
"Thanks for not putting up a fight when I said I would pay." She said
once we were eating.
I took my first bite and my eyes widened, "Holy shit, this is amazing."
She giggles as I try to swallow down my large bite. "And of course, angel."
"Jake always brushed me off when I asked to pay, and then would make
some comment about me being too poor." She muttered, obviously still
annoyed at the douche.
"Doesn't he make the same as you? You're both teachers." I say confused.
 She nods, "Yeah, but his parents own his house, so he doesn't pay rent,
and he thought I was actually poor because I live in a shitty apartment."
"Why do you live there? You could probably afford a nicer place."
She continues to eat her sandwich, and I hope she wasn't offended by me
asking, but a minute later she says, "Been saving money to buy a house. I
figured if I'm going to get a nice place it might as well be mine, and not just
another place I have to rent. My apartment is so cheap that I can put away a
decent chunk of my money into savings while also having a bit more to
spend. That's also why I worked two jobs out of uni. Worked as a sub until I
was placed at my school, and then at nights I would bar-tend and serve at
the bar. That was how I bought my car."
"Makes sense. I used to live with like four roommates just so I could save
money. Bought my place about a year ago with the help of that money.
Also, fuck that guy. It's not even a shitty apartment." I say heatedly.
She gives me a look, "It's definitely a shitty apartment."
I shake my head, "No, it's really not. Sure, it's not in the safest area, and
from the outside it looks old, I guess, but you've decorated it so cute I
wouldn't have ever thought it was shitty."
She smiles, "You think my place is cute?"
"Of course, angel." I nod, finishing up my food and taking a big gulp of
water, "First time I walked in I thought it just screamed you."
"So you think I'm cute?"
My eyes flicker to hers and I smirk, "I think we both know the answer to
that."
She laughs and finishes her drink as well, "What do you want to do? The
market doesn't open until six."
I shrug, pulling on my coat, and watched as she pulled down the sleeves
of my uni sweatshirt she decided to wear today, opting for no shirt
underneath. She then pulled on her long black wool coat that ended at her
knees, and her cute little beanie on her head. It was a rather chilly
December day today, the wind being aggressive. I would've suggested we
walk around the shops here, but maybe we should save that for the spring.
"Want to see a movie? There's a theater over by the market, so we could
just walk from there?" I suggest.
She hums, slinging her purse over her shoulder, "Sounds good to me.
What's showing?"
 The entire drive there we talk about different movies, Emma pulling up
an app on her phone to see what's playing and what times work. We decide
on a drama that has been circling awards season that both of us heard was
amazing.
I splurged on popcorn, drinks, and candy while she bought our tickets.
She chuckled when she saw how much I was buying, but I couldn't help it.
There was nothing better to me than pigging out at the movies.
Sitting in the theater with Emma, our hands grazing in the popcorn tub,
her leg propped up against the armrest, leaning into me as we watch in
silence, reminded me of my first couple of dates back in the day.
This was probably the closest thing I could call a date in years. Since my
last girlfriend, really. Probably even before we started dating. Carla and I
didn't do that much once we were official. We were so busy with school and
work that when we did hang out it was usually just at one of our dorms or
apartments. Maybe a party here and there, but I didn't really consider that a
date.
I wanted to take Emma out on a real date. Do something really special for
her. Light some candles when we get back home, and then make love to-
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I fidget in my seat next to her awkwardly, straightening up a bit. She's too
engrossed in the movie to notice how tense I had gotten, but instinctively it
seems her hand finds the spot right above my elbow, her thumb caressing
my bare skin while her head leans down on my shoulder. Just the feel of her
resting against me calms me slightly from my erratic thoughts.
I couldn't think like that. It was too soon. Emma was still healing and I
didn't want to ruin anything by moving too fast. Although I got the feeling
Emma was at least starting to feel similarly to me, I couldn't be sure. I could
just be a rebound to her, the thought of which breaks me.
I had never wanted to make love to someone. I had always just wanted to
fuck. I hadn't even really thought love-making was a real thing. But the
thought of pouring all my feeling into my actions, rolling my hips into her
slowly, watching her gasp before kissing her with every bit of affection I
have towards her... It's appealing. My heart warms at the thought and I've
got a little smile playing on my lips, but I know we wouldn't be doing
anything like that soon. We were still exploring our bodies, doing things
with each other that no one else had done.
 But, god, did I want to.
I shook the thoughts away from me, trying to get back into the movie, but
the entire time I was to focused on the girl next to me. I end up resting my
head on hers, feeling her squeeze my bicep. This felt like so much more, but
it always did. Since that first time it's been more for me, no matter how
many times I've told myself differently.
After the movie we walk outside to the chilly air, Emma pulling her coat
tighter to her body. I glance down to see her fingers a little red making me
frown.
"C'mere, Em." I say, pulling her closer to me. Facing each other, I grab
her hand on mine and start moving them to warm her up. Bringing them up
to my face I cup them and blow hot air on her icy hands. My eyes flicker up
to meet hers to see her blushing and smiling sheepishly. I return her smile
and rub our hands together until they decently warmed up. "Okay, the
market is just over there."
I lead her away, keeping my hand intertwined with one of hers as she
stuffs her other one in her pocket. I keep her close to me when the crowd
thickens, bustling through people to enter the winters market.
The moment we step in we see a parade of twinkling lights, the entrance
lined with Christmas trees that were decorated lavishly. Out of the corner of
my eye I see her smiling as she takes in the scene before us. Quickly, she
tugs at my hand and starts walking further into the hall.
There's booths on every side of us, a small expo center rented out every
holiday season, and different paths to follow at every turn. I come to realize
quickly that Emma likes to see everything. She doesn't skip one booth,
sometimes just grazing by, other times taking her time, and picking up little
trinkets.
Sometimes she forgets entirely about me, getting into a deep
conversation with an owner of a booth that was selling cooking utensils, or
embroidered quilts. While she was distracted by an elderly lady who was
selling her paintings I slipped back to the previous booth of intricate
jewelry made by "vikings". She had picked up a certain ring, trying it on,
and looking at it softly before regretfully putting it back down.
Keeping my eye on her, I bought the ring along with a matching bracelet
and stuffed it in my pocket. When I joined her, my hand finding hers she
looked up, and I could see how much fun she was having. Even though we
were both still tired, only getting like five hours of sleep total, she looked so
lively.
Normally, she would look a little rundown or like she was carrying the
world on her shoulders, but today she seemed so light. She walked around
with her head held high, and a bright smile on her face.
She was effervescent. She was mesmerizing. She was everything.
A few hours later we made it to the food court, both stomachs grumbling
as we walk around and decide what we want from all the food carts.
"Emma?"
Emma whipped her head around, her content expression going a little
hard before she put on a fake smile. It happened so fast that I was sure I was
the only one to catch it.
I turned my head to see who she was greeting to see a petite blonde girl. I
didn't recognize her, but the guy behind her looked vaguely familiar. I didn't
like the cold look in his eyes as he watched the two girls hug, Emma's hand
leaving mine. His jaw clenches and looks away, a roll of the eyes when he
passes by my figure.
"Hey, Lauren." Emma says as politely as she could muster. Her shoulders
were tense again, and I frown at the sight. She had been so happy before
these two showed up, and I missed it.
"Oh, who's this?" The blonde, Lauren, asked when she spots me stepping
closer to Emma. Her eyebrows wiggle at Emma, and I calm down a little,
thinking she seems like a nice enough girl.
"This is Harry." She introduces me, "Harry this is Lauren, and her
boyfriend Jake... We work at the school together."
Immediately, I tense up. I never thought I would have to meet the guy
who has caused my angel so much pain. I could see in her eyes how
uncomfortable she was in his presence, eyeing him warily.
"Hey," I force a smile onto my face, reaching my hand out to greet
Lauren, "Nice to meet you two." I turn to Jake, and reached my hand out.
When he pushed his chin up and grabbed my hand, thinking he was going
to crush it I held back my laugh, instead saying, "I'm Emma's boyfriend."
Jake's hand stopped moving in mine, and he turned to Emma, "Your
boyfriend?"
Lauren was eyeing Jake, and I suddenly remembered that she didn't know
that Emma and him had dated.
 Emma clears her throat, "Yeah, Harry's, uh," She looks up at me, her face
softening when she meets my eyes, "he's my boyfriend."
I try and bite back the smile wanting to surface, but it's no use when she
takes hold of my hand again and squeezes it.
"Oh my god, you two are so cute!" Lauren says, looking between us.
Emma breathes out a laugh, "Well, it was nice to see you both, but we are
desperately starving so we should really-"
Lauren claps her hands suddenly, "I've got a great idea! Come eat with
us. It's been so long-"
"Oh, no, we don't want to intrude on your date-" Emma tries to say, but
Lauren cuts her off again.
"No, please! I feel like we never see each other anymore, and I want to
know how you and your beefcake met! Please!" Lauren begs, big puppy
dog eyes staring down Emma, and I know instantly that she's going to
break, because Emma has a hard time disappointing people. Lauren turns
around and looks at her boyfriend, "Wouldn't that be great. Hun, tell them
they won't be intruding on our date night."
There was something in Lauren's tone that was a little harsh, like she
knew she was forcing Jake to behave. She tilted her as if to say "what, is
there a problem?" to him, but he just smiles and says, "Actually, I think it
could be a lot of fun. Been awhile since we sat and ate a meal together, huh,
Em?"
I clench my jaw, but keep my face neutral, wrapping my arm around
Emma's waist possessively, "Sounds good to me. Lead the way, angel."
She gives me a look, but I just squeeze her side to reassure her. I don't
know if she's worried about being around Jake, or if it still hurts to see them
together, or if she thinks I might go off on him.
"He calls you angel? That's so cute!." Lauren squeals.
†††
I don't think I had ever felt more awkward in my whole life. We walked
around with Jake and Lauren trying to find a table. It took almost ten
minutes of fake conversation and forced laughs before we spotted a four-top
we could eat at. Lauren suggested her and Emma would go get food while
Jake and I reserved the table. We agreed reluctantly, and I nodded to Emma
when she gave me a worried look.
I leaned down and kissed her cheek, whispering, "It's okay, angel."
 So that's how I found myself sitting opposite of Emma's ex. I was
surprised at just how badly I wanted to punch him. Even though I had
trained in boxing for years, and knew some self defense, I wasn't a violent
guy. Not once had I ever been in a fight, but the smug look on this prick's
face was making me want to bash his teeth in.
"So, you and Emma?" He breaks the awkward silence with a faux
conversational tone.
"Yeah, me and Emma." I answer.
He gives me what's supposed to be a charming smile, chuckling, "Well,
this is a bit awkward. Bet she told you I'm her ex."
I raise an eyebrow, "You two dated? Hmm, she never mentioned you." I
say carelessly.
His facade immediately drops, eyes turning stony, "Never mentioned
me?"
I shrug, "Don't think so... Well, she told me about the guy she dated in
uni, and then that fling she had with the Italian guy, but never any Jake's."
I do get a bit of joy from the look of anger that crosses his face. If there
was anything I knew about Jake, it was that he was a narcissist. That was
easy to see, and a narcissist would hate the fact that he had never been
mentioned. He needed to be talked about, to be loved, and the idea of
Emma not bothering to bring up their relationship was going to drive him
crazy.
A normal person might think that's a good sign, that maybe Emma wasn't
over him, but Jake was an idiot.
"That's weird, because we were pretty serious. Even talked about moving
in together." He tells me.
"Yeah? Well, you seem to be in a happy relationship now." I point out.
He changes his expression quickly, one into pride, "Lauren's the love of
my life."
"Congratulations," and condolences to Lauren.
He nods, "How long have you two been together?"
"About two months now." I answer easily.
"How'd you meet?" He asks.
"We go to the same gym."
"Ah, the one her friend owns? Remember her always talking about
joining it."
 I tilt my head at him. He was so obviously trying to make me
uncomfortable. "Yeah, started talking casually, and I realized how sweet she
was very quickly. Already knew she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever
seen, so it was a no-brainer when I asked her out."
He clenched her jaw at that, "She's good at making people see what she
wants them to see."
I pause before saying, "And what do you mean by that?"
"I mean that she isn't all she's cracked up to be. You'll see that soon. Just
don't want you to waste too much time on her, mate."
I was actually seeing red now. This piece of shit was really trying to turn
me on Emma? He really thought that he could sway me or something. Was
he that desperate?
"She was calling me up a few weeks ago to try and get back with me, but
I-"
"Shut the fuck up." I tell him firmly, fists clenching as I tried not to
strangle him.
He smiles at me, clearly thinking he might've caused some drama, "I'm
sorry to break it to you. It's clear how much you care about her, but she
likes to get around."
I raise my eyebrows, "Do you think for one second that I would ever
believe a fucking word out of your mouth?"
He chuckles, "I see, she's got you under the same spell she had me under.
Sorry, mate, I was just trying to save you the heartbreak before she cheats
on you like she did me. Know she's a good fuck and gives great head, but
you deserve-"
"First off, I'm not your bloody mate. Second, don't ever talk about her
like that." I had leaned in a bit and lowered my voice.
His eyes gleam at me mischievously, "What, you don't like it when I talk
about how tight and wet she gets?"
I narrow my eyes, "I know you don't know me, Jake, but I suggest you
shut the fuck up right now before I bash your face in."
He just shrugs and leans back in his chair watching me with a smug look.
The fucker just wanted some semblance of control over me, and I let him
have it. But I couldn't just sit here and listen to him talk about my angel that
way. I didn't need the picture of them together in bed or making noises that
only I should be causing.
 "Okay, we got tacos and chips and salsa." Lauren says as they reach our
table.
"Thanks, love." Jake says, kissing her on the cheek, but looking at Emma
as he does this.
Emma, however, isn't paying attention to them. She's looking at me,
confusion on her face as she sits down. The moment she does, her gentle
hand comes up to play with the little hairs at the back of my neck.
I close my eyes and relax at her touch, already feeling slightly calmer
with just her presence. She leans in and presses a kiss to my shoulder,
moving up to whisper in my ear next, "Harry, are you okay? Why are you
so tense?"
A smile plays on my lips, and I reply softly, "I'm fine, but I'm trying
really hard not to kill him."
Lauren is telling Jake about something that had happened to them in line,
so she wasn't paying attention, but I could feel Jake's eyes flickering back
and forth between us and his girlfriend.
Surprisingly, Emma huffs out a laugh and responds, "I figured he would
say something. It doesn't hurt me anymore Harry, so don't worry."
I pull away, and look her in the eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her
ear. She really doesn't seem to mind, her soft eyes admiring my face. I
couldn't help but lean in and kiss her. It was simple kiss that lasted maybe
two seconds, but I wanted it. The moment my lips touched hers I felt like I
could breathe again.
We get sucked into a conversation with Lauren about pointless stuff, and
I keep Emma tight to my side. Her hand left my neck and traveled down to
my thigh - very high on my thigh - and kept it there. She ate with her right
hand, occasionally feeding me a chip, and it didn't even seem like she was
doing it to make Jake uncomfortable or jealous. She would just be seeing
me eyeing her chip as she dipped it in salsa, and bring it up to my mouth.
Her kindness towards Lauren was astounding as well. It was clear that
she harbored no ill will towards her exes new girlfriend, and she genuinely
tried to be friendly with her. Jake rarely spoke while we were conversing,
instead eating silently, getting grumpier by the moment. Lauren had brought
him back a beer, and at one point he had left to get another drink, the entire
atmosphere shifting when he walked away.
As he came back, it was as if a dark cloud covered us. Emma slumped
down a bit, and hugged my side closer when he sat down with two full
beers, Lauren denying one so he drank them both. I knew he had a bit of
drinking problem, Emma always telling me that he was "just drunk" when
he started harassing her.
He eyed her more harshly now, and I suspected he probably had a drink
before he came back. I tried my best to ignore him, instead focusing on the
girl next to me. Besides staying so close to my side, she truly did seem
okay. She looked a little uncomfortable, but not sad. I didn't see an ounce of
sorrow in her pale blue eyes. They even sometimes lit up when Lauren
brought up a little gossip from another school she had subbed at.
I was so proud of her. Barely over a week ago, she was crying in my
arms, devastated by the man across from me, but now she was facing him
with no problem. My heart grew every time she rolled her eyes at me for
something he said, or she absentmindedly made us seem like a real couple,
like when she would turn her head in and kiss my shoulder, or play with the
rings on my fingers when my hand joined hers on my thigh.
I do get the feeling she's doing this because she knows it'll keep me calm.
She knows exactly how much her touch and affection affect me. She
probably felt me shaking when she sat down. She saw the anger and
seriousness when I told her I was trying not to harm the fucker. She knew I
wasn't joking about that. That I wouldn't hesitate to put him in his place.
"So, Em, I thought you were sick today. Weren't in your class when I
came by during lunch." Jake mentioned suddenly.
Lauren gave him a look while I tightened my grip on her waist. I didn't
like that he was obviously going to try and talk to her during lunch today. I
didn't want him to be alone in a room with her. The thought scared me, even
in a school full of children.
"Uh, yeah..." She blushed and looked at me, "Harry was out of town all
weekend and surprised me last night. Just wanted to spend the day with
him, I guess."
Lauren coos, "Ugh, that's so-"
"Unprofessional." Jake finishes for her.
Emma fidgets in her chair next to me, but I just kiss her head, and finish
my coke. Lauren scoffs, however, muttering a bitter, "Says the guy who
called out sick because he was too hungover to teach ten year olds."
Emma raises her eyebrows at this, and looks at me with a surprised look.
She was clearly shocked that Lauren had called him out.
Jake clenches his jaw, "Lauren." He says warningly.
 She looks at her boyfriend, completely unimpressed, "Don't Lauren me.
We literally just used our sick pay to take a three day weekend a few weeks
ago. Stop being so rude. Jesus."
Okay, things just got a billion times more awkward. Lauren had
obviously picked up on Jake's bad attitude, but had been ignoring it this
whole time. Jake, himself, did not seem happy with his girlfriend for
sticking up for his ex-girlfriend even if she didn't know it.
"I'm not being rude." Jake says defensively, "Just don't think it's
appropriate for Emma to leave her kids, so she can fuck her boyfriend all-"
"Jake!"
"Okay, I'll think we'll just be heading out." Emma says, standing up.
She's squeezing my hand tightly, but not for herself. She's trying to get me
out of there before I do something.
Lauren stands up too, sending a glare at Jake who rolled his eyes and
finished his beer. She hugs quickly saying, "I'm so sorry, Emma. I don't
know what's gotten into him."
I could see Em debate something in her mind before she shook her head
and smiled, "Don't worry about it, Lauren. Be careful tonight, okay?"
It was when I saw Lauren's face soften and Emma tug me away quickly
when I realize she had inadvertently warned her. I'm sure she was aware of
his drinking habits considering he didn't seem to hide them very well, so
she was quite used to a drunk Jake, but tonight had probably riled him up
more than usual.
Emma didn't say anything as she walked us back to my car, huddling up
in her coat. It wasn't until I blasted the heat and turned to her did she look at
me. I opened my mouth, but she beat me to the punch, "Are you okay?"
I was taken aback by her question, "I think I'm supposed to be the one to
ask you, angel."
She smiled at me, "I'm not the one that was shaking in rage back there."
I take a deep breath, "Why does it seem like it was harder for me to be
around him than you?"
"Because I'm used to it." She shrugs, "I'm sorry I left you there by
yourself."
I closed my eyes and rested the back of my head against the headrest, "I
hate him. He tried to get me on his side or something, said you liked to
manipulate people, and that you cheated on him, and was trying to get back
with him. Called you easy. Fuck, I want to just beat the shit out of him. Like
who the fuck does he think he is?!"
Emma surprises me once again by laughing, "It's okay, baby. He's said
worse."
"But he shouldn't! He shouldn't say anything. That asshole treated you
like shit, and is begging you to fuck him, not the other way around!" I yell
out frustratingly.
Emma reaches over and cups my cheeks, "Harry, baby, I need you to
calm down."
I huff out, "Why aren't you more upset?"
"Because I've heard worse. And because, not for one second, did you
believe anything he said. You knew immediately I never cheated on him
even though I never told you what exactly had happened between us. You
knew I wasn't calling him begging him to fuck me, because I've got you
giving me real orgasms all the time."
"Of course I didn't believe him. Why would I? I know you wouldn't do
any of those things. And you're not a cheater or a slut or whatever bullshit
he says. I know you." I say defiantly.
She smile softly at me, "Yes, you do. Now take us home, baby. I'm
exhausted."
I exhale a deep breath, "I'm sorry our day was ruined."
She shakes her head quickly, "No, no, our day was not ruined. I had more
fun than I have in a long time."
I study her face looking for anything but the truth, but all I see is
sincerity. I breathe a sigh of relief and drive us home. We're quiet as we get
ready for bed, Emma wearing a pair of my boxers, and borrowing another
shirt of mine that I know she'll steal from me, but I don't mind.
She was brushing her teeth when I was stretching out my back by the
bed. She pouts when she sees me, "Oh, baby, is your back hurting?
Probably sore from my bed, right?"
"It's okay, Em. Just need to stretch it out a bit before bed." I tell her.
"What if I give you a massage?" She suggests, coming up behind me, and
hugging me to her chest. I sigh when I feel her lips kiss right in-between my
shoulder blades.
"You don't have to. Know you're tired-"
"Oi, none of that. You were so sweet to surprise me last night, and you
deserve a little reward for your performance anyways." She tells me,
beckoning me to lay face down on the bed.
I chuckle at her words, but do as she says. A moment later she's sitting on
top of me, bum resting on my lower back.
"Close your eyes, Harry. Jus' relax, and let me get all these knots out,
okay?"
I nod my head, entranced by how soothing her voice sounds. It's deep and
a little husky, and completely encapsulating. I melt into the bed as her
thumbs knead my shoulders and her palms press down and glide up my
spine. She finds all my knots, all the spots that hold tension, and massages
them clean. She takes her time, using the perfect amount of pressure
sometimes making me moan as she hits a particularly rough knot.
She glides down a bit, so she can rub my lower back, and I actually moan
out her name, making her laugh, "Does that feel good?" I hum and smile
lazily. "Look so much more relaxed."
"I am." I mumble out, "Thank you, angel. Fingers are fucking magical.
Where'd you learn to do that?"
She ventures a bit lower, now kneading into the tops of my ass cheeks,
"Read a lot. I like to read articles on how to do things, and I was determined
to be really good at back massages one day. Started in uni and kept reading
about different techniques throughout the years. You're the first person I've
been able to try it on, though."
"I'm honored." I say quietly, letting her slip off my underwear and focus
on my glutes. I didn't even know how much I needed that until she was
digging the heel of her palm into my plump flesh. "Oh, fuck, darling, that's
it."
"Has anyone ever told you how cute your butt is?"
I laugh, "Don't think so."
"Well, then, you have a very lovely ass, Harry." She says, and peek open
an eye to see her beaming down at me.
I wiggle it under her hands making her giggle, "Thank you so much,
angel. You're too sweet."
"No, you are. Trying so hard to defend me, and protect me today." I feel
her weight shift as she lays down on top of me, lips grazing my ear, "Think
you need a little reward."
I groan as she reaches into the nightstand and pulls out some lube.
Closing my eyes I mumble her name, letting her slink down my body. I'm
surprised when the first thing I feel is her hands separating my cheeks and a
puff of air on my asshole. I clench in anticipation, stifling a cry when I feel
her tongue against me.
Soon enough she's eating me out better than anyone ever has. I'm sure
this is her first time, but she's already better than any man who has eaten my
ass. I can't help but push back up to her, wiggling around as I feel her lips
and tongue tease me open. The tip of her tongue dips in, and I nearly lose it.
She sucking on my rim, and then licking it, and suddenly she pushing her
tongue in further. I cry out in pleasure when she flexes her tongue inside
me, feeling the burn of a stretch.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Emma, oh god, you're so perfect." I mumble out
mindlessly.
I whine as she pulls back, "Just taste so good. Wanted to warm you up a
bit." She blows on my hole and then follows it up with a cheeky bite to my
ass cheek.
I breathe out a laugh, but nearly choke on it as I hear the familiar sound
of lube being squirted on her fingers. I try and steady my breathes, but I
want her so bad, I want to feel her inside me like I've never wanted before.
She give me my wish greedily, pushing a slick finger in swiftly. "Oh
fuck, yes."
She twists and pulls out only to push in at an excruciating pace. I keen as
she does this, hands gripping her legs. She tilts down, and I gasp out as she
hits my prostate. It's unbelievable, but I want more.
"Add another please? Need, oh god! Need more, Em." I beg, pushing my
hips into the the bed.
"You want my other finger, baby? So greedy, aren't you?" She teases, and
I feel the pressure of two fingertips at my opening.
"Please, angel, my beautiful, sweet, angel. Always take such good care of
me. Need that from you, please." I whimper out my final word, faced
scrunched up as I wait for her to fuck me with her fingers.
I moan out lewdly when her fingers push in, ushering down directly onto
my prostate. She takes her time massaging that part of my body, and I can't
believe how good she is. How good she is to me.
"Oh, angel, my angel." I moan out, mind consumed in pleasure. She
scissored me, keeping her fingers near my prostate the whole time, then
focused back on rubbing it in gentle circles. I was completely breathless,
waves upon waves of intense pleasure hitting me, and I wasn't even
climaxing yet.
 She cooed when I keened. Filthy words left her innocent lips while her
fingers fucked into me purposefully. Not one movement was wasted, every
one bringing me closer and closer to my high.
It feels like it's been thirty minutes of white hot pleasure building up,
when in reality it's only been five or ten. I mumble out mindless, random
things, not even sure what I'm saying. I think I call her perfect on several
occasions only to earn a more purposeful massage of my prostate.
But she is. She's so perfect, and knows my body so well. She knows
exactly when to circle her fingers inside me harder and faster, bringing out
an intense orgasm that practically blinds me. I gasp and choke out her
name, clutching at the sheets as she continues her movements, not stopping
until my body is shaking and pushing her away.
I crawl away an inch or two only to collapse back on the bed. I feel a
pool of my cum wet against my stomach, but I don't care. All I care about is
Emma, crawling back on top of me, kissing up my back so softly. She
comes up to my ear and whispers, "C'mon, let's change the sheets and go to
bed."
I shake my head, "No, no, too tired." My hand comes up to grab one of
her hands, tugging her off me, and pushing her to the side. I sleepy drag
myself over to her, cuddling into her side, leg intertwining with hers, and
my face buried into her neck, "Clean in the morning. Just want to cuddle."
And as I fall asleep, my orgasm lulling me to slumber quicker than ever
before, I hear her say, "Goodnight, love."
Chapter Twenty-Eight

HARRY
I was fucking stressed.
I had never been this backed up with work before in my life, and it was
also a week I had to get our quarterlies ready. I had known when I took
Monday off that I would have to work longer hours this week to catch up,
but I wasn't planning on also taking off Tuesday.
I don't regret it. Not one bit. Spending the day with Emma was worth a
whole week of staying late. So on Wednesday I didn't leave the office until
eight p.m., and Thursday I came in two hours early.
Thursday was reserved for her, however, so I couldn't stay late. That
night at the gym, I pushed Em a little harder than usual. It helped get some
of the stress out of my body, so she wouldn't suspect anything and then feel
guilty about keeping me away from work. I had her do my whole boxing
warm-up and routine. Her muscles weren't used to it, so she was extra sore.
When I took her home that night, she fell asleep on the couch before we did
anything remotely sexual.
I was kind of happy about that. While I loved having sex with Emma, the
moments when she fell asleep so innocently on me, in my house, were my
favorite. She was so cute when she got sleepy, mumbling something
incoherent as she tried to stay awake but failed.
I didn't even feel the build of anxiety that I usually did in the morning
when we woke up. She distracted me with sweet kisses, and her naked body
in the shower.
It didn't hit me until I walked into my office and saw the mountain of
paperwork I had on my desk. Then the panicky type of stress pulsed
through me as I worked my way through my e-mails, gathering more and
more paperwork for me to finish by Monday.
 I skipped lunch, glad Emma had made me eat some of her breakfast this
morning, and worked as fast as I could, but nearly had a fit when I saw that
the marketing team hadn't properly billed someone. That set me back about
thirty minutes, and then another hour when I realized they hadn't been
invoicing properly.
I took my frustrations out on a low level accountant assigned to that
department. A kid right out of school, by the looks of it. I wouldn't be
surprised if I scared him out of the business. I felt bad the moment he
walked out, my secretary, a young woman named Connie, saw the distress
immediately. She was kind enough to bring me some tea in an attempt to
calm me, but knew to get out of my office quickly.
My anxiety built and built, like pressure weighing on my chest. I even
felt nauseous to an extent, but there was nothing in my stomach to expel. I
knew this week would be tough. I knew that when I had agreed on spending
the weekend with my parents. I hadn't factored in Emma, though.
I hadn't factored in needing her so desperately to keep me grounded to
earth. When I was with her everything melted away. I wasn't constantly
worrying about work and keeping up with the reports that I had to have
ready or else the company couldn't properly run. There was so much riding
on me, and I was failing. I was failing miserably.
At around three, I accepted the fact that I would be spending another long
night, and most likely would have to bring my work home for the weekend.
I sent out a group text to everyone, telling them I wouldn't be at the bar
tonight. After, I sent Emma a personal message.
To Emma: Sorry, angel. I'm going to be at work for a while. Can I
get a rain-check?
She was supposed to come over again, but I didn't want to make her wait
forever for me. I wanted her. I wanted her so badly right now. Not even to
fuck - well, yes, fucking her would make me feel really good - but to just be
in her presence. It did wonders to me, the smell of her skin, a vanilla so
enchanting I dreamed of it, the feel of her icy blue eyes watching me,
adoring me. There was nothing in this world like capturing the attention of
Emma.
She just cared. She cared so much, and she showed it. Emma wore her
heart on her sleeve, which is why every time she looked at me with
adoration or fondness my heart skipped a beat. It showed that she was
letting herself feel with me, and while I wasn't ready to make that jump just
yet, it gave me hope that when it does come up she won't freak out.
I was surprised when she called me, but I picked up immediately,
ignoring the pressing documents I needed to sign, "Hello?"
"Oh, hi!" She said sounding surprised, "I wasn't expecting you to answer.
Thought you would just send me to voicemail."
I frown, "I'll always answer when you call."
She took a second to reply, "Are you okay?"
I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of my chair, "Just
got a lot to do. I'm really behind with all my paperwork. Probably be here
pretty late."
I could practically picture her biting the inside of her mouth, "Have you
eaten?"
I smiled to myself, "You don't need to worry about me, angel, but I'm
afraid we won't be able to see each other tonight, and I'll probably be
swarmed in paperwork all day tomorrow too."
"Are you sure? I don't mind coming over late." She says, "I know you're
stressing out right now, Harry. I can hear it in your voice. Let me help."
My heart clenches, "I know you can, Em, but I'm gonna be all grouchy
and no fun. Just want you to go out with everyone and have a good time,
okay?"
I picture her pouting, blue eyes peering into mine as she says, "Okay, but
promise me you'll call if it gets to be too much? I know you like to protect
me, but sometimes you need protection too."
I lean my elbows on my desk and bury my head in my hands, letting her
words sink in.
"Angel, you're so sweet." I tell her sincerely.
"Promise me, Harry?" She presses.
I take a moment to myself before answering, "I promise. I'll call you if it
gets to be too much."
Hours later I was sitting in my chair, trying to control my breathing. The
pressure in my chest feeling as though it was crushing me. I couldn't focus
on my work anymore, all of it looking like a jumble of numbers that made
no sense.
I had thought about texting Emma, but I didn't want her to worry about
me. She had so much on her plate right now, and I've dealt with this
perfectly fine on my own for years. I could do it again.
 When my heart rate seemingly steadied, I lifted my head out of my
shaking hands, and organized the mess on my desk. Somehow I had messed
up my mental filing system, and started mixing piles that shouldn't be near
each other, so I had to spend the next thirty minutes putting things back in
their place. I was about halfway to another breakdown when my phone rang
for a second time.
I was going to ignore it, but I saw the name "Angel" flash on my screen. I
didn't hesitate to answer, hands still shaking profusely.
"Emma?"
There was silence for a second or two, "Harry, what's wrong?"
"Just, uh-" I swallow harshly, "I, um..."
"Okay, I'll be there in a minute. What floor are you on?" She asks
quickly.
"You don't have to-"
"What floor are you on?" She pressed.
My face scrunches up, and I feel a little woozy, "Fifth. Fifth floor, to the
right, my office is in the back."
"Are you going to be okay until I get there?"
I nod even though I know she can't see me, "Mhm, just, uh, need a
distraction, Emma."
I hear her sigh sadly, "Oh, baby, I'll be there soon. I'll take care of you, I
promise."
She couldn't come soon enough.
I tried to gather myself enough, so she wouldn't see that I'm a complete
mess. I've done a good job so far of hiding my anxiety from her. I don't
want her to look at me as if I'm weak, or can't handle stress. I need her to
see me as someone who can take care of her, someone who can be there for
her whenever, not the guy who has anxiety attacks when he's too stressed.
By the time I hear a knock at my office door, I had come down from the
attack. My breathing was still a bit ragged, but the worst was over. I was
about to get up, but the door opened and in walked Emma. She was wearing
a long coat, and had a coffee cup in her hand. She took one look at me, set
her stuff down, and peeled her coat off. Underneath she was wearing a tight
pencil skirt with a white button-up tucked in. She was wearing her red
bralettte that I had salivated over one of the first times she spent the night.
Normally, I would've jumped right up and devoured her. Collapsed to my
knees and eaten her out until she was pushing me away, but I was just so
mentally exhausted. Some of the pressure did lift from my chest, her
presence being a godsend.
Emma walked towards me, a mix of hesitance and something else in her
eyes.
"I'm so sorry I'm late, Mr. Styles. I know you don't like being held up."
She says formally.
I furrow my brows, not understanding what's going on, but she continued
before I could say anything, "And I forgot the reports you asked for."
I had turned my chair towards Emma, her legs nudging mine apart to
stand in-between them. I was still confused, my head still foggy and tired
from everything. "Reports?"
She nods, putting on a pout, "Yes, the ones you needed today. The ones
you requested before you asked me to come to your office, Mr. Styles."
It finally clicked in my head. She was distracting me, trying something
that we had talked about a while ago, and had to cancel our plans. She
wanted to role play.
I sat up a little straighter, taking on more of an authoritative position. My
shoulders rolled as the tension lessened. "Ms. Everly, I'm so disappointed."
She bit her lip and lowered her chin only to look up at me through her
thick eyelashes, "I'm so sorry. Is there any way I can make up for it?"
She steps a little closer, bringing her finger up to toy with my tie. My
heart was still beating rapidly, but this time it was caused by the woman
standing in front of me. My breathing was under control, and my mind
started to slow down.
"I don't know if there's anything you can do. You keep messing up, my
little intern." I lean back, and spread my legs wide. It was kind of fun
building a story from nothing. Sure the whole boss and intern thing was
completely cliche and overdone, but it was the first thing that came to my
mind.
"Just get so distracted..." She admits sheepishly.
I smile devilishly, "And what's getting you so distracted?"
She makes a show of thinking, her face now looking very pleased with
where I had taken our story. She smiles to herself and look me dead in the
eye, "I think you know."
"You're gonna have to spell it out to me, pet."
Her eyes flashed and she just shakes her head. I bite my lip, "Are you
disobeying me, Ms. Everly?"
 She pouts, "No, of course not, Mr. Styles."
"Then tell me. Who's got you so distracted?" I speak lowly.
She smiles coyly, "It's not who... It's what."
My hand reaches forward and grips her thigh, pulling her to me. I had
shifted more towards the edge of my chair, so she easily put her knee up on
it on the side of my leg.
"You're teasing me, pet. Don't you know that's not allowed?"
"But it's so fun." She says.
A long breath escaped me, feeling more relaxed than I had all day. I was
still anxious and frustrated, but that was now at the back of my mind, our
story taking me fully out of my own world.
"Tell me what's so distracting." I demand.
She tilts her head, "Guess."
I groan, "You're really asking for it, aren't you, pet." She nods innocently
at me and I tsk, "Alright, I'll play your game if you agree to play mine
later." She nods again, waiting for me to continue,
"Let's see... are you distracted by all the work I give you?" She shakes
her head, and I grip her other thigh. "Is it the other interns?" She shakes her
head, and she follows my lead by pulling up her skirt so it rests about mid-
thigh and brings her other knee up so she's straddling my legs. "Are you
sure? That one boy looks at you like he wants to eat you up." My eyes flash
at my self-caused jealousy, hands now holding her ass to keep her steady on
my lap.
"Don't like boys. Only want a man." She tells me as both her hands come
up to caress my chest.
I hum, "That's right, pet. Well... doesn't leave much, does it?" I tease her,
"Pet..."
She blushes a bit, and says coyly, "Yes..."
"Are you distracted by me?" She smiles wide but shakes her head, "Oh,
really? I couldn't imagine what else you would be so distracted by."
She squeals when I pull her against me, her core right up against my
growing bulge. Her hands hold onto my shoulders as she leans in and
whispers, "I think you do."
"Want you to say it, pet." I whisper back.
She pulls away and shakes her head. I groan as she subtly rolls her hips
down, "Say it."
"No."
 Out of nowhere I rip apart her blouse, buttons flying everywhere, and it
feels so good. My frustrations starting to ebb away, "Look at you, my
innocent looking intern just asking to be punished."
I lean forward and graze my lips up her chest and neck, avoiding her
breasts. I nearly whimper as she whines, "Mr. Styles."
"Did you mean to forget those reports? Knew I would punish you. Looks
like you were prepared for me, pet." She leans back so I can admire the
view.
The red bralette hugs her breasts so perfectly, making her look
increasingly delicate and delicious at the same time.
"Do you like it, Mr. Styles?"
"Very much." My hands move up to cup the swell of her breasts, "You're
still getting punished, though."
Emma whines, "But, Mr. Styles, I dressed up so nice for you."
I shake my head, "Yet you won't admit to me that you're too distracted by
my cock to do your work. Now how am I supposed to run a business when
my favorite intern's mouth is watering as she eyes my cock every day?"
Her hands come up to cup my own, groping at her chest, "You could give
your favorite intern what she wants."
"Oh, but then how will you ever learn?" With this I lean forward and
suck at her nipple. It's covered by her bra, but she feels it nonetheless.
"I'll learn, I promise, I'll learn." She keens, arching her back. Her hands
find my hair to keep me to her.
I nibble at the edge of the lace cloth, "Then what is it that you want, pet?"
"Your cock. Want your cock." She begs, finally giving into me.
"Where?"
Her chest is now flush with mine, and she's looking down at me in-
between her breasts with hooded eyes, "Down my throat. Let me make it up
to you, Mr. Styles."
Her hand wraps around my tie, and pulls me up a bit so our lips are
grazing each other's. I close my eyes and breathe out, "Mmmm, sounds so
enticing, but I don't think I should reward bad behavior."
"No, no, no, please. I promise I can suck you off better than anyone ever
before. Want you to cum in my mouth, all the way down my throat. I'll even
let you fuck my face." She rushes out desperately.
"Let me? Oh, pet, that's the only way you're getting your lips around my
cock. Want me to fuck your face?"
 She nods before finally connecting our lips. It's rough and there's a lot of
gratuitous tongue, and it's so fucking hot. It feels forbidden, both so into the
story and our roles. It's completely inappropriate that we're in my office
doing this, but I knew for a fact that I wasn't the first manager in this
building to have fucked someone in their office.
At least I was doing it while everyone was gone.
Our hands were groping and moving so fast around our bodies,
desperately trying to hold onto each other, but when I felt the painful
restraints of my cock in my pants, I pushed her away.
"Stand up." I say roughly.
She complies quickly, her eyes a little wild, and her body looking
delicious. Her skirt hugged her hips and waist so well, it was making my
mouth water. I stood up as well, hands immediately unbuckling my belt,
"Get on your knees, pet."
She swallows, and kneels on the ground, looking up at me with those
beautiful blue eyes. I stifle a moan, "Gonna give you want you want, but
you don't get my cum, okay?"
My pants fall to the floor, leaving my snug in my underwear, She eyes
me hungrily, but pouts, "But I want to taste you."
"No, pet, I'm gonna fuck your mouth until it's red and swollen, and
there's tears in your eyes. Then I'm gonna stuff you full of my cock and
that's when you'll get my cum. Think you deserve that?"
She perks up, and shuffles closer to me. Before I can say anything else
she wraps her lips around my clear bulge, eyes closing in relief like it's the
greatest thing that's ever happened to her. My hand finds the back of her
head, and my own falls back at the feeling. She moves up and down my
erection, sucking lightly, hands gripping the back of my thighs to keep me
close.
"Oh, god, look at that. Just desperate for my cock, my little intern." I
mutter as I look back down at her, her eyes are now piercing into mine. She
brings her hands up to the band of my underwear and separates her lips
from me. Slowly and tauntingly she pulls them down, watching in awe as I
spring up, tip red and dripping.
I was actually a little surprised at how much I had leaked. Some of my
arousal had stuck to my shirt as my cock hit my stomach. Fuck, Emma had
so much power over me. All it had taken was her teasing and looking at me
the way she does when she wants me inside her.
 I've never given a lover so much power over me, and even though I was
towering over her, pulling her open mouth towards my cock, we both knew
who was actually in control. She's been in control since she stepped into the
men's locker room and stripped in front of me. She's had me in the palm of
her hands, able to completely crush me for months, and she didn't even
realize.
I trusted her though. I trusted her with my body and my heart. She didn't
know she had it, but she did. She owned it.
I moan out when her tongue plays with my head, my hands keeping her
steady, so she can't slink down further. She whines around me, eyes
pleading for me to thrust, so I do.
I start off fast, but soft, making sure I don't hit the back of her throat. I
want to build this up, give her time to adjust to my size. I've always known
I was big, but it wasn't until Emma had fawned over it that I had realized
how lucky I was. She swore up and down it was the biggest, thickest cock
she had ever seen. And so pretty. She actually called my cock pretty. Her
words had definitely stroked my ego, but I wanted to be careful with her.
I didn't want to hurt her as I sped up, snapping my hips into her wet,
warm mouth, but it feels too good. She's sucking and tonguing me at just
the right times, and I'm tempted to just fuck her until her throat is raw.
I knew I needed to slow down if I wanted to last, so I pulled out to my
tip, and turned her head. I thrust in shallowly and groaned as I saw her
cheek puff out with the outline of the the head of my cock. Her eyes rolled
back into her head when my thumb pet over her cheek.
She popped off suddenly, and sucked on the side of my cock. I let her
indulge for a minute or two as she explored my length, swiping her tongue
up my pulsing vein, but I fisted her hair and pulled her back.
"That's enough. Think I'm too lenient on you, Ms. Everly. I let you have
your way too easily." I say gruffly.
She bats her eyes up at me, "Punish me, Mr. Styles."
I growl, "Open your mouth." She does just that, and her eyes widen as I
thrust my cock all the way to the back of her throat.
When I found out Emma had no gag reflex, I had wet dreams about it for
a full week. At this moment, I was entirely grateful for it, because I wasn't
sure if I would've been able to hold back. I held both sides of her face and
fucked into her mouth roughly. My breathing was ragged, but it wasn't like
before where it felt suffocating. No, I felt free.
 I kept intense eye contact with her as I hit the back of her throat over and
over again. Her eyes were glazed over, her stifled moans vibrating around
my length, and it was driving me crazy. She looked as though she was in
just as much pleasure as I was. Like having my cock in her mouth was the
only thing she could possibly want in the world.
I knew I was getting close, so I pulled away from her, my hand clenched
in her hair. She gasped for breath, tears in her eyes as she looked up at me
in wonder.
I stepped out of my pants and boxer-briefs, picking her up off the ground,
and led her backwards to the couch.
"Said I was going to cum inside you, didn't I? Are you ready for that,
pet?" I ask her, unzipping her skirt and tearing it off her.
She nods quickly, "Fuck, so ready, please."
I turn her around quickly, and bend her over the arm of the couch. Her
red panties are in my way, so I tug them down, throwing them behind me
mindlessly. I spread her legs apart, and nearly drool at the pool of wetness
making her core gleam.
"Look at that. My filthy, filthy intern is so goddamn wet for me." She
whines, face sideways, eyes closed. Her delicious looking ass wiggles at
me, and I chuckle, "I'm gonna fuck you now, okay?"
"Please." She begs.
I thrust into her without prep, her walls sucking me in, pulsing around
me, and I nearly cum on the spot. There is nothing on this planet like
Emma's pussy. It's perfect as it expands to accommodate me. Like it knows
I belong inside her.
She lets out a strangled moan, and I pull out only to slam back into me. I
repeat over and over, and she's only getting wetter, the sound of me sliding
in and out of her music to my ears. I holding onto her hips, but with every
thrust she's bobbing up and down the couch. Her hands clench at the
cushions when I take hold of her legs and pull them off the ground. I hold
them up, spread wide and take her.
With the force of my hips, and me pulling her back against me with my
arms, she's screaming out in pleasure. The angle hitting her G-spot every
time.
I'm so close and so is she. I can feel her contracting around me, my
shoulders tensing, every slap of our skin relieving me further of my stress.
She's letting the most exotic and lewd noises leave her pretty lips, and I'm
watching as her back tenses and she cums while I'm buried deep inside her.
The moment my name leaves her lips, my orgasm washes over me,
waves upon waves of white-hot pleasure rippling through my body. My
thrusts become sloppy and uncoordinated, finally stilling inside her when
the last spurt of cum flows into her.
I'm breathing heavy, my body still tense, and frustration still there behind
my lust. I pull out to see I'm still ridiculously hard, my cock shiny with both
mine and Emma's cum. My eyes flicker to her pussy, ass in the air as she's
still bent over the arm of the couch. My cum starts to ooze out of her.
I drop to my knees and envelope her warmth with my mouth. I lick up
my cum, my salty, heady flavor mixed with her sweetness. My face
scrunches up and I whimper at the taste. It's quite possibly my favorite
dessert. Us mixed together.
I can't stop myself as I suck and thrust my tongue inside her. My hands
keep her hips as still as possible, while I eat her sensitive cunt. I slink down
to play with her clit, and in no time she's cumming again. Her hips stutter
and rut against my face as her high consumes her. I'm tempted to keep
going, completely torture her clit with my tongue, but I'm too needy
tonight.
I back away and lift her off the couch, body basically jello. I bend her
back over, this time against a wall. Her hands come to lay flat against it,
elbows buckling when my hand comes down in a light spank to her butt
cheek. The succulent flesh jiggles, and my palm comes down again.
"Told you I needed to punish you, pet." My voice comes to lower and
more raw than ever before, "Gonna fuck you again. This time even harder.
You think you can take it?"
She nods her had, forehead resting on her forearm pressed horizontally
against the wall, "God, yes. Fuck me. Keep fucking me, please."
"So polite." I hold her hips and thrust into her again, gasping as I feel her
wrap back around me, "Not gonna go easy on you. Gonna fuck you raw.
Until you can't stand."
I could feel her body shaking, my words and cock obviously causing an
intense reaction. She was biting down onto her arm, holding back her
moans. With every thrust my problems become smaller and smaller, the
haziness from my anxiety attack leaving my body. I lean forward, my chest
flush against her back, my own mouth biting down onto her shoulder. My
thrusts are shorter and less powerful, but even faster.
My hands move from her hips, her thrusting backwards into me by
instinct, while one hand comes down to circle her swollen clit, the other
wrapping around her neck. She lets out a scream of ecstasy, and again she's
cumming violently on my cock.
My vision goes dark as she pulses and clenches and spasms around my
thick shaft. I don't cum, but it's like my body is having an orgasm anyways.
When she starts to come down, I feel her legs start to give out beneath
her, so I pull out - my heart clenching at the pitiful whine that leaves her
lips - and pick her up bridal style. I carry her over to the couch, this time
laying her down on it, and crawl on top over her. My erection lays on her
stomach while I comb her hair back and look down at her blissed out face.
"Emma, angel, need you to open your eyes for me." I say quietly.
I wait patiently for her to look at me even though my penis is actually
hurting from not cumming.
She blinks her pretty blue eyes open and smiles lazily at me. Her hand
comes up to caress my cheek, but then she frowns, "You're still hard, baby."
"I know." I answer breathlessly, "Just gonna stroke myself until I cum all
over your pretty tits."
She's still frowning, eyes searching mine. When my hand wraps around
me, I don't even get my first stroke out before she's reaching down to stop
me, "No."
I look up at her confused, but she continues, "I want you to finish inside
me. C'mon, Harry fuck me."
"Oh, angel, you're too fucked right now. Almost collapsed to the floor a
moment ago, can't-"
"No, Harry, I can still see it in your eyes." She says.
I bring my face to her neck, so she can't see my reaction. My heart his
beating loud and my breathing is heavy again, and for some reason it's
coming back.
"Don't want to hurt you." I mumble into her sweaty skin.
"You won't. You won't." She assures me, "I can take it, I promise."
I don't feel as if I have much willpower, so I just nod and sink back inside
her. She's so warm, and still so wet that everything starts to disappear again.
She pets at my hair, and squeezes my body to let me know she's okay.
 I lift up breathlessly, eyes searching for hers. It's scrunched up and she's
panting, but she squeezes me again, and finally I'm moving. This time
slower, easing Emma back into the rough pace we had set just moments
ago. I could tell how sensitive she was, her cunt never ceasing its
palpitations around my leaking cock.
"Harry, baby, use me. Let me help you." She mumbles out, and my heart
warms.
I start thrusting harder, and her breath catches. I never pound into her, or
make her scream, but I'm definitely thrusting into her hard. Her clit is being
repeatedly slapped by my pelvis, and she releases all over me again, but I
can't slow down. I'm too consumed by her and how she feels.
It's absolute bliss, my mind finally one hundred percent blank. I collapse
into her body, face finding my favorite spot in the crook of her neck, and
my hips pulse and thrust into her convulsing body.
She's moaning, and whispering, "yes" over and over, and there are tears
in my eyes as relief washes over me. I can't think of anything but Emma
and her body, flinching and bucking beneath mine. I can feel the familiar
buildup of her orgasm as she squeezes me tight, and this time I'm cumming
with her.
My body goes numb as I cum and cum inside her sensitive core. In fact,
the only thing I can feel is her pussy soaking up my release greedily. It
spurs on more spurts of cum, and I've never had an orgasm last this long. It
feels like an eternity of bliss inside her.
It's several minutes before either of us speak, but Emma does eventually
bring my head gently up from its resting spot, and pushes my hair out of my
eyes.
She studies my face, looking deeply into my eyes before smiling, "There
you are."
I close my eyes and lean down to nudge her nose with mine, "Thank
you." I whisper.
"Hated seeing you like that. You're okay now, right?" She asks me softly.
I nod my head, "I'm okay."
I pull out of her, hissing at just how sensitive I was. I watch as I
immediately started to drip from her, so much cum inside her tight cunt that
it's spilling out.
"Don't have a towel." I mumble.
 Emma giggles, maneuvering around so she could slip off her unbuttoned
white blouse. "Here, use this. It's ruined anyways."
I flush a deep red, thinking back to how I destroyed her shirt by ripping it
open, "Sorry." I apologize sheepishly.
"No, don't. It was so hot."
I breathe out a laugh, and shake my head, "Thank you so much, Emma.
God, you have no idea how much I needed you."
We're both sitting up now, while I try and clean up the couch. She combs
her fingers through my hair making me hum out in contentment.
"Can I take you home now?"
I smile but shake my head, "I wish I could, darling, but I've still got a lot
of work-"
"Harry, you can't work yourself to death." She tells me.
I sigh, "I know, but I need-"
"No, you need to eat and rest."
"Emma."
"Harry."
We're at a standstill, neither giving in to the other, staring hard at each
other.
Emma purses her lips then sighs, "How about this: I'll set a timer on your
phone, so you can work for another hour or so. Then you come home. I'll
cook you dinner, and we can just rest on the couch, and watch some of that
mystery show you were telling me about."
It's my turn to sigh, "I would love that, but I've got hours of work to do,
Em."
"Then bring it home, and you'll finish tomorrow. I'll stay with you, so that
way you can take a break without getting too stressed, okay?" She suggests.
"Don't want you to waste your weekend babysitting-"
"Nuh uh, none of that." She pouts, pecking my lips, "I'm going to take
care of you, Harry. Don't like seeing you like this."
I lean into her hand as it softly cups my cheek, "Okay... okay."
After a long passionate kiss, we get ourselves together again, Emma
loosening my tie, and unbuttoning some of the top buttons, murmuring
something about "letting me breathe".
She wraps herself up in her coat, and sets my alarm. I dig my keys out of
my blazer pocket and hand her my house key. Before she leaves she tilts my
head up, and pecks my lips.
 Looking me straight in the eyes she says, "I expect you home in less than
two hours, baby. Don't let something like this take over your life, okay? It's
not healthy, and it scares me."
I breathe out, "I'm sorry, angel. Thanks for taking care of me."
"Always gonna take care of you, Harry."
Chapter Twenty-Nine

EMMA
The moment I got to Harry's, I turned the heat on, the chill of December
seeping into his house while we were gone all day. I turned on his lights,
and cleaned up a bit. I didn't really know anything about anxiety, but I
figured it would be nice to come home to a clean house.
His bedroom was the messiest. We hadn't made the bed that morning, so I
stripped off his sheets and put them in the wash, followed by a load of
regular laundry. I cleaned up the bathroom a bit, and then took a shower
myself.
With my makeup stripped, hair in a top bun, and dressed in a pair of
Harry's boxers and one of his sweaters, I make my way down to the kitchen
to start dinner. I balk when I realize Harry should be home in less than
thirty minutes.
As I made dinner for us, my thoughts wandered back to him. I could tell
something was off when I called him the first time, our conversation about
his job ringing through my ears after we said goodbye. I only ended up
staying at the bar for less than an hour, making up an excuse to everyone
that I wasn't feeling good.
In all reality, I couldn't focus on anything other than Harry. I could feel
something was wrong the entire time. I shook the feeling off, opting to pace
and clean my apartment, debating on whether or not to call him again. I
even thought about surprising him, but I had no clue how to actually get to
him.
That's when I grew a pair, and dialed his number. I waited nervously to
see if he would answer, but, of course, he picked up my call right away.
I knew the second he said my name that he wasn't okay. His tone
sounded... hopeless, and it crushed my heart to hear him sound so unlike
him. My mind raced with ideas on how to get him to calm down, but the
only one I truly considered was to go and see him. I needed to be near him.
For some reason, I had thought it would be a good idea to dress up a
little, in case I needed extra help in easing his anxiety. Thank god I did,
because when I saw the broken look in his eyes, I realized I didn't know
what to do. I wasn't equipped to handle something like this, and I was
certain Harry hadn't let anyone else see him like this. He wasn't equipped to
let anyone help him either.
Slowly, I watched as the tension slipped away, his eyes losing that
hopelessness that cracked my soul. Instead, a desperation taking over them,
so I let him use my body. I lead his mind to a different world, one where he
could take charge, because the one thing I did know was that he felt like he
was out of control. His mind was reeling and his heart was beating too fast.
And then I let him toss me around like a rag doll.
The feeling of his urgent hold on my thighs or hips, made me feel
something like never before. I suddenly loved being submissive.
Completely submissive. I didn't want a shred of control, instead so focused
on expelling the toxic emotions flowing through Harry.
I needed him to be okay.
So even though I was crazy sensitive, and a little out of it, I knew he
needed to cum inside me. I couldn't let him jack himself off when he needed
my warmth, my touch, my reaction to his body. It symbolized everything to
him. Every time he came, every time he made me cum, a little more of that
dread and panic left him.
I needed that despairing look to go away. It didn't belong on my Harry.
He had always been so strong and confident. Stoic in his nature. Powerful
and such a calming presence around me. And I hated everything that made
him break down. I hated his job, and the people making his job harder.
And then I realized.
I was part of that.
Harry had missed two days of work. Two days of things piling up on his
desk. Once for his family, and twice for me.
Guilt started to spread through me, but I tried to shake it off. Harry asked
me to skip work with him on Tuesday. He didn't have to go. But then again,
I had him Thursday night as well. Maybe I was with him too much. Maybe
I was too distracting.
 Ugh, I shook off those thoughts, a sense of dread easing into my mind. I
didn't want to think like that. I would just start overthinking everything, and
ruin what we had going on. I couldn't do that. I couldn't ruin the best thing I
had going for me.
I was broken out of my thoughts when I heard the front door open and
shut. I looked towards the main hallway, waiting for Harry to appear as I
stirred the pasta I was making for us. His eyes found mine instantly, a small,
sad smile gracing his face.
I notice just how full his bag is, wondering how much more the needed to
do. I, myself, started to feel a little stressed for him, but I made a promise to
him that I would take care of him. So that's what I would do tomorrow.
I needed to do some research. Learn about what he was feeling. Did he
have a panic attack or an anxiety attack, and was there even a difference?
Has he been dealing with this for a while, or is it more recent? Knowing
Harry, I expect he hasn't sought out any professional help.
He puts his bag on the floor by the kitchen island and walks towards me
with a sheepish expression. I turn around, knowing the food needed to sit
for a minute, anyways, and let him come to me. When he's close enough, I
reach up and cup his cheeks. A little bit of that stress is back in his eyes,
and I can see just how exhausted his body is while his mind is racing
around in circles.
"How are you feeling, baby?" I ask quietly.
He focuses in on my lips as I talk, shrugs, and mutters, "I'm okay."
I purse my lips, both of us knowing that's bullshit. I nod my head
nevertheless, and say, "Well, I'm making some pasta for us. It's almost
ready. I was thinking we could share that bottle of wine I brought over last
night that we never got to?"
"That sounds good to me." He leans down to kiss me, his shoulders
sagging in relief when his lips touch mine. Pulling away less than an inch
he asks, "Do I have time for a shower?"
I smile up at him, "Yeah, got a little less than ten minutes left on the
chicken in the oven, so you'll be fine. I brought over that body wash you
like so much."
"The vanilla one?"
I nod, "And a new loofa."
He hums, forehead resting against mine, "You really are an angel."
My heart skips a beat, "C'mon, go on. You smell like sex."
 This earned me a small laugh, which made me warm. He smirks as he
pulls away, eyes glancing down my body, "Gee, I wonder why."
I shrug innocently, "Couldn't tell you."
"Can I get one more kiss?"
I feel myself blush, but nod quickly, stepping back towards him, and
leaning up on my tip toes. His hands gently grasp my hips while mine find
their familiar home on his cheeks. I take his bottom lip between mine,
giving him the sweetest kiss we've had. It's simple, and innocent, but
exactly what he needs. He hums against me, groaning a bit when I pull
away, but I push his shoulder back playfully.
I watch as he makes his way up the stairs, then finish up our dinner. He's
coming back down, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, as I'm pouring our
glasses of wine. He kisses my temple, silently taking our plates to the
couch, me following with the wine. He gives me the remote, and watches as
I sift through Netflix trying to find something. I finally settle on the true
crime documentary he was telling me about, and leaned back into the corner
of the couch. I lifted my legs and rest them on his lap, a smile forming as he
sets his plate down on my shins and picks at his food.
We eat in silence, both in our own worlds, pretending to watch the
documentary. I glance at him a few times, seeing how tired he's getting. He
gathers our plates and puts them in the sink, walking back over to me. I lay
out on the couch, my hand reaching out to him. He takes it gratefully, and
lays over me, resting his head on my stomach. His hands sneak up my
sweater, not to take things further, but to rest them on my bare skin. I let
him close his eyes, and get comfortable, combing my fingers delicately
through his hair.
Months ago, when I didn't know Harry, I never would've guessed he
would be this soft. I kind of had a feeling he used the gym similarly to me:
as a way to get out stress. I watched countless times as he stood in front of
the punching bag for an hour, swinging and expelling any bad energy. I
could always see that tension he held in his body. It was obvious to me even
before I knew him, but I never would've guessed it was this bad.
"Harry?" My voice breaks through the silence surrounding us, only the
soft sound of the TV playing. He hums in response so I continue, nerves
settled in my stomach, "Does this happen a lot?"
It takes him a long moment to answer me, but nevertheless he does, "Not
like a ton, but it does happen."
 I focus in on my finger wrapping around one of his curls, "Were you
having an anxiety attack?" I pretty much already knew the answer, I just
wanted to see if he would admit it, not sure if he had come to terms with
having this bad of anxiety.
He clears his throat awkwardly, "Uh, I think today was a little closer to a
panic attack." My heart clenched. "Usually it's not this bad, but I kind of left
everything to the last minute this week."
"Harry, we didn't need to spend the day together if-"
"No, no, that's not what I was saying. I had a lot of fun on Tuesday.
Honestly, I really needed a day like that. Em, I don't think any amount of
preparation could've helped today. Been building up for a while." He says in
an exhausted voice.
I'm surprised he's being as honest as he is, but maybe that means he trusts
me. I bring one of my hands down to softly massage his neck, "Have you
always had them?"
"Anxiety attacks? Yeah, back when I was a kid they rarely happened, but
while I was at uni it started to become more common. Just don't handle
stress well I guess." He mumbles into his sweatshirt adorning my body.
"Have you ever talked to someone about it?"
"A professional?" He shakes his head, "No, I'm fine handling it on my
own."
I purse my lips, holding back the obvious comment that he can't. I decide
not to answer him, instead lolling him to sleep. He needs to rest. Especially
if he needs to finish his work tomorrow. A few hours later, I nudge him
awake, and lead him upstairs. We brush our teeth in silence then head to
bed. I pull him over to me, so his face is nuzzled into the crook of my neck.
I know he loves to do that. It seems to comfort him, and I have to hold
back a contented sigh when he pecks his lips against my neck.
The last thing I hear him say before he falls asleep is a soft, "Thank you."
†††
I had set up some form of plan with Harry. I set the alarm for nine a.m.,
so we could shower and I could make him a good breakfast. I had made a
big breakfast, knowing he wouldn't be that hungry for lunch if he was
stressed. He mentioned to me how he loses his appetite, because he feels
nauseous.
When he went downstairs, I set a timer on his phone. I figured setting
limits might help him not to overwork himself, which might slow down his
anxiety. He was quiet all morning, letting me do my thing without any push
back. I could see the exhaust in his eyes, the small fear of how he might
react later. He was dreading today, but I was determined to help him.
While he was working for the next few hours, I took his laptop and
researched all I could about anxiety and stress, panic disorders, and how to
help someone dealing with them. It wasn't enough, obviously, but hopefully
I could ease some of his stress.
Anxiety was something I never had to worry much about. I didn't have to
worry about it becoming too much and making it hard for me to think, or
worse, breathe. Harry couldn't even fucking breathe at times, and reading
the symptoms and signs of an incoming one was heartbreaking to me.
He hid it so well. I doubt any of his friends knew how much he was
suffering. I bet they knew he hated his job, because he sure didn't hide that
fact. But panic attacks? A full anxiety disorder? I don't think Harry would
feel comfortable enough to speak to them about this.
I thought about calling his sister, but quickly decided not to. It wasn't my
place to tell his secrets to, no matter how harmful they are. I made sure to
read countless articles on how to control anxiety, or to stop a panic attack,
but it all seemed so unhelpful. I couldn't imagine having the horrible feeling
of thinking I might die because I couldn't breathe, and then have to
remember to "take deep breaths and practice mindfulness". I mean, what
even was mindfulness?!
I could just imagine Harry rolling his eyes at the idea of picturing your
happy place while he was struggling to breath, for christ's sake.
But then again, maybe I was completely wrong. Maybe these techniques
really helped. I guess if you practiced these things before an attack, so you
had the muscle memory to do them without completely freaking out...
Fuck, I don't know. I feel so helpless. All I can think about is that look he
had in his eyes, and the way he said my name when I called him. I can't just
distract him with sex every time. That seemed a little unhealthy. I was lucky
I thought of role-playing, honestly. I think him being placed into a different
reality where he was in control helped clear his mind.
I did read some stuff about self-treatment. They suggested to stay away
from caffeine - there was no way Harry was giving up coffee - alcohol,
nicotine, and recreational drugs. He didn't really drink all that much, just
casually, and he didn't smoke or use drugs - at least that I was aware of...
 Getting regular sleep and exercising was a big help, apparently, and
Harry was good at both. Occasionally we stayed up a little late, like we did
Monday night, but he exercised nearly every day.
Meditation and Yoga were cited as a way to reduce and control stress and
anxiety. I spent a full hour reading up on meditation, and the different
techniques and effects it has on the body and mind. I initially rolled my
eyes at the idea, but the more I read about it the more I wanted to try it. I
wonder if that was something Harry was open to.
I made Harry join me downstairs for lunch, thinking that maybe the
change of scenery would help him. He definitely looked tense when I
entered his office, but smiled when he saw me. I distracted him for the next
hour and a half, wanting to make sure he got a long enough break. I talked
about some of the kids in my class, his enthusiasm for hearing about the
funny things they say warming my heart.
It was easy to see how much he loved kids, talking about how excited he
was for Mike and Naomi, and he even showed me more pictures of his
nieces and nephews. If he loved kids, it was even clearer how much he
loved his family. I smiled as he went on and on about them, telling me
stories of stupid shit he got up to with his siblings. It made me want a big
family actually.
I had always loved it just being my mom and me growing up, but I
always wondered what it would've been like to have a brother or sister.
"I ran away from home once." Harry admitted, slouched on the couch,
looking more comfortable than he had all morning. "My brother, Jason, told
my parents I broke something that he did, and I got this big long lecture.
They refused to believe me, because I was a little clumsy as a kid, always
falling over, and I had broken the lamp in our living room, like, three times
I think, so I was the prime suspect anyways. I was so mad at everyone that I
just ran down the street and hung out at the park for, like, three hours."
I chuckle, "Were your parents freaking out?"
"Oh, yeah, mum was bawling her eyes out when they finally found me
hiding in the covered slide." He told me.
Our fingers were gently playing with each other's as we talked. My legs
were draped over his lap, head resting on his chest. I smiled to myself,
loving how comfortable I feel with him.
"I couldn't imagine. I would be freaking out." I say.
"I felt awful afterwards-"
 He was interrupted by the sound of my alarm on my phone. He sighed as
I turned it off, resting his head on the back cushion, and says, "Don't wanna
go."
"How much do you have left?" I ask him.
"Well, I'm almost done with my regular work, but my boss e-mailed me
this morning and asked me for a few additional reports. Have to have them
ready by Monday morning." Harry tilts his head to look at me.
My brows furrow, "Can he do that? It's the weekend. Why didn't he talk
to you about this beforehand?"
Harry just shrugs, "Doesn't matter. Gotta do it. I get it if you want to head
out. Can't be fun just sitting down here by yourself."
"I wouldn't mind staying, if you don't mind. Honestly, I would just be
doing the same at my place." I don't want to leave Harry. I didn't trust him
to go easy on himself tonight.
"Are you sure?" He asks me, green eyes studying my own blue ones.
I nod, "Still a little worried about you, to be honest. Want to be here if
you need me."
A small, sad smile graces his lips, "Oh, angel, don't worry about me.
You've done a great job at taking care of me today."
I lean in, so our faces are only an inch apart, "How about I set an alarm
for seven thirty. That gives you about five hours to finish what you can, and
then we'll have dinner. Is there anything you're craving?"
"Hmm, pizza."
I chuckle, "Well, then, let me treat you to pizza. Then whatever you don't
finish you'll do tomorrow. After dinner we can do whatever you'd like."
"Can we take a bath?" He asks.
I smile at him, "Of course, baby."
†††
When my phone rings hours later, I'm awaken from my nap. I don't see
Harry anywhere near me, so I assume he's still working upstairs. I half
expect it to be my alarm, but instead it's a FaceTime from my mom. I
answer without thinking, her face popping up on my screen, "Hey, mom."
Her brows furrow, "Hi, honey. Where are you?"
I freeze, "Uh, well... I'm at... a friends?"
"Uh huh, a friends, alright." She teases me, "I'll let you keep your little
secret, but I expect you to spill all of the details when you come up for
Christmas."
 I roll my eyes, "Sure, Jan."
My mother huffs, "Or I can just tease you about whatever is going on
with this Harry boy-"
"Mom!"
"Emma!"
"You're insufferable sometimes, you know."
"And you're not?" She counters.
I let out a small laugh, "Everything okay, mom?"
"Yes, of course, I was just wondering what your plans were for
Christmas?" She asks.
I thought for a moment, "My last day at work is Thursday the sixteenth,
and I go back on the fourth, I believe."
"I've got the whole week leading up to Christmas off, so just let me know
when you're planning on coming up."
"Alright, I'll have to check with Harry-" I stop myself, eyes widening.
Fuck, I can't believe I let that slip.
Also, really? I'll have to check with Harry?! Harry probably had plans of
his own. I doubt he was planning his holiday around me.
"Oh, you need to check with Harry, huh?" My mother asks nosily.
I groan, "Mom, not right now. I'll talk to you about everything over the
break. Today's been really tiring-"
"Tiring? Are you two using protection?"
I burn red, "Mom! Seriously, stop."
"What, that's a fair question! Don't forget that I was once your age."
"This conversation is over." I tell her firmly, "I'll call you in a few days
and tell you what the plan is, okay?"
"You're no fun." She deadpans.
I roll my eyes, "Love you, too."
I flop back down on the couch, my arms flying over my face to hide me
from the world. I really cannot believe I said that. I really can't.
Fuck, I was in so deep.
I had been trying to convince myself for weeks now that this... thing
between Harry and I was just as intended. Yet I had been an idiot and fallen
for him.
But really I should be blaming Harry.
He had to be... him. He had to be sweet and caring. He had to make me
feel confident and he listened. He truly listened to me, but he didn't even
need to. It's like he could read me at a glance. There was just something
about him that made me feel comfortable and content and happy.
So how could I not fall for him?
Everything felt right when we were together, and it seemed like Harry
thought the same. It wasn't like we were acting like only friends with
benefits. We hung out, cuddled, talked, hell we even just sleep together
without actually sleeping together.
It was like we were in a full blown relationship without the title.
But we were comfortable right now. I didn't necessarily want things to
change, but it killed me not to know what he was thinking. I knew he had
some form of feelings. He had to, but I also didn't know where he stood on
relationships as a whole. I know he hasn't had one since uni. That's been
over six years. And I also knew he had only done the one-night-stand thing
since then.
Oh god, what if he was the type who didn't date.
I'm not even sure if I'm ready to date. Jake had absolutely crushed me,
and the thought of somehow losing Harry was-
I shook my head. I couldn't think like that. The thought alone was
suffocating. I took a deep breath, calming myself.
I'd be lying to myself if I said I hadn't been wondering what Harry was
doing for Christmas. I wasn't sure if he would be gone for a week, or just
two days. Selfishly, I hoped he wouldn't be gone all week. I could barely
handle it when he was gone last weekend.
God, I was pathetic.
Couldn't even be away from the guy I was fucking for three days. I
wished I didn't get so attached. That was one of the reasons Jake cited
during our breakup. I was too clingy. But I was also not there when he
needed me. His friends didn't like me. I wasn't marriage material. It was
everything with him. Every excuse in the book.
At the time it killed me, but now I felt a sense of relief. My relationship
with Jake was toxic and unforgiving. There wasn't a single good thing about
it, honestly. I don't think I was even oblivious at the time. I think I knew
how awful the relationship was, but Jake had somehow convinced me that
no one would love me.
Maybe that was true. Maybe I wouldn't find someone to love me, but I
was starting to realize that I didn't need that. Yes, it would be great to fall in
love and get married, but I was strong enough to live on my own. I felt
confident now, like I could conquer anything.
I didn't go home and cry, or exercise myself to death. I was a little
worried that I might go back to my old ways if Harry and I blew up, but I
knew now, in the end, that I would heal and be happy.
I did want Harry, though. I wanted to come home to him, or for him to
come home to me. I wanted to fall asleep with his breath hitting my neck,
wake up with his arm hugging me to his chest. I wanted him to kiss me
without the implication of sex, and hold my hand in front of his friends. I
wanted to him to look at me in public like he does in private.
I wanted him.
Period.
Chapter Thirty

EMMA
"How much more do you have to do?" I ask Harry while I sit on his lap.
A few minutes ago I had knocked on his office door, peaking my head
inside to see him with his head in his hands, chair backed away from his
computer. I was about to rush in, thinking he was having another anxiety
attack, but he raised his head to look at me. He looked decently calm, just
tired.
My heart melted as a small smile crossed his face. Silently, he held out
his hand for me just as I had done earlier. I walked over to him, taking his
large hand in mine, and sat in his lap. My hand went up to cup his cheek,
looking down into his eyes as he looked up at me with such fondness.
I was completely and utterly fucked.
He pulled me towards him, lips enveloping mine. I melted into his body,
allowing our kiss to deepen, unspoken words flowing between us.
That's how we spent the first five minutes, now he had his head resting
on my chest, arms hugging me to his body. When I broke through the
silence with my question, he moved to look at me again, "Maybe an hour or
so. Got more done than I thought I would."
I hum, "That'll be easy to finish tomorrow then."
"Yeah, tomorrow. You're staying tonight, right?" He asks.
"Of course. We've still got that pizza and bath you requested."
His smile is wide, and I notice just how at ease he looks. In fact, he
seems relaxed all evening as the pizza arrives and he cuddles me into his
side while we watch more of the documentary from earlier. I watch him
carefully, and while I can still see that exhaustion, it looks like it has
subsided quite a lot.
He is quiet, though. More quiet than usual, but I let it slide. He's been
through a lot emotionally the past two days. I couldn't imagine what he
must be feeling like.
I started filling up the bath, dropping in a bath bomb, and lighting a few
candles. I turned the lighting down, so it wasn't too bright, easy to relax in.
It definitely looked romantic, but I didn't care. I wanted to make the effort,
and I also wanted to see how he would react to this type of thing.
I was rewarded with a smile and soft eyes when he entered the bathroom.
He chuckled as he walked up to me, and kissed me.
"Thank you, angel. This looks perfect." He murmurs against my lips, his
hands coming down to tug at my shirt, which, of course, was his shirt.
I raised my hands and let him slip it off of me. I wasn't wearing a bra, so
my breasts were out in the open, but I was surprised when his eyes didn't so
much as flicker down. Instead, they stayed on mine.
I felt breathless as I said, "Wanted you to be all relaxed..."
He tilts his head, "It's perfect." I bit my lip to hold back a smile, but I fail
quickly when he continues, "Now are you going to return the favor?"
My brows scrunch up, but then he raises his arms. I breathe out a laugh,
slipping his shirt off his body. We continue to undress each other,
surprisingly innocent in our nature. His hands don't even stray when I'm
standing completely naked in front of him. No, they don't grope my ass like
usual, but instead takes my hairband off my wrist, and pulls my hair into a
messy bun.
My smile is as wide as it can be watching him focused on the small task.
When he's done, he steps back and looks at his work, eyes meeting mine
when he's sufficiently pleased. He leans down to peck my lips, and then
enters the bath. I watch him as he sinks down, his hand lifting, once again,
to beckon me towards him.
I take it happily, stepping in carefully, and sinking into the warm water.
This time we are surrounded by a pastel purple foam, the scent of
gingerbread wafting around us. It's all very soothing, and I can feel how
relaxed Harry is behind me. His head is lolled against mine, legs wide so I
can fit in-between properly. And his hands...
His hands roam my body under the water, gliding over my wet skin
teasingly, but oh so innocently. He never cups my breasts or draws a finger
up my slit. No, he squeezes my hips, and then joins his hands on my lower
tummy.
We stay like this in silence for about ten minutes until I ask quietly, "How
are you feeling?"
 I hear him take a deep breath in, "Surprisingly okay. I do feel very...
unsteady? Don't know. I'm not used to talking about it with anyone. Hell, no
one even really knows besides my mum. Guess I'm also a bit embarrassed
you saw that."
I purse my lips, "Harry, you don't need to be embarrassed. I'm glad I was
there to help."
"I am too. Don't know how I would've handled it without you." He
mutters, tilting his face into my neck.
I don't even want to think of him dealing with an attack all alone. The
thought of him struggling to breathe, tears flowing down his cheeks,
crutching his knees to his chest while he sits on the floor washes through
my mind. I shake it away quickly.
"Just remember you can call me anytime. When you start to feel that way,
I'll be there, I promise." I close my eyes when his lips pucker against my
neck.
"You're so good to me... My angel taking care of me all the time."
I exhale a deep breath, my hands holding onto his forearms under the
water. He's slinked them down a bit to hold that sensitive part where my
legs meet my hips.
"Got too." I admit, "Can't always be you saving me."
I feel his lips turn up into a smile, "You don't need saving, angel. You're
so strong by yourself. But me... I need it. I need-"
He abruptly stops talking, his hands firmly holding my legs apart now,
face buried deeper into my neck. I felt his face scrunch up a bit like he was
physically holding himself back from saying something.
My heart was beating wildly in my chest, my only thoughts were of what
he was going to say. The only one that stuck, though, was "I need you".
I need you.
But he didn't say that. He had stopped himself, so I didn't know how he
was going to finish that sentence. And even if he had, he might not have
meant it that way. The way he was holding the insides of my thighs, thumbs
caressing the wet skin under the foam of our bath were convincing me that
he didn't mean it the way I would've meant it if I said it.
Neither of us said anything for a long minute. Both ignoring the sudden
tension in the room. I didn't know what to think.
But that didn't stop me from slowly turning my head when his lifted from
its favorite spot to rest. I kept my eyes closed, not daring to open them and
see the look on his face. I felt the smallest puff of air hit my cheek, turning
even more, so I'm now completely facing him.
"Thank you, Emma. Thank you so much for being there yesterday and
today." He whispers, "You have no idea how much it meant to me."
I swallow down my emotion as best I could, "I think I do. Remember
you've been there for me too."
His nose gently nudged mine, so I would tilt my head. I exhaled a breath
of relief when I felt his lips graze mine as he spoke his next words, "I
remember, darling."
I couldn't stop myself from finally leaning forward and connecting our
lips. Our embrace was neither slow, nor fast, but it was deep. There was no
hesitation or needing to request permission as our tongues caressed and
glided against each other. His lips felt so soft and gentle against mine, like
they were handling something delicate and precious, but didn't lack an
ounce of passion. In fact, I don't think I've ever felt more passion from him
as his hands gripped my thighs, pulling them apart so they rested against
his.
My hips wiggled on their own, now anticipating his touch. He separated
from my lips, ignoring my whining to say huskily, "Gonna give you a real
thank you, okay? Can I touch you?"
I opened my eyes at his request, never having had him ask first. He was
looking at me with a fierce look in his eyes, a mix of determination and
something else I couldn't put my finger on. Before I even noticed it, I was
nodding my head.
"No, want to hear you say it."
The firmness in his tone made my core clinch around nothing. His need
for consent making me even more worked up than his hands sliding up my
thighs.
"Yes." I breathed out.
Harry didn't need anything else as he connected our lips again,
continuing the mind numbing kiss we shared just seconds ago. It was so
consuming that I didn't notice how far his hands had moved until I felt his
fingers pull apart the lips of my pussy, and another finger pressing down on
my clit.
One of my hands flung from the water to grip the back of his neck, a gasp
leaving my mouth. He lets out a strangled groan, kissing me again as his
finger circles my sensitive nub. His movements are slow and taunting.
Gliding up and down my folds now, circling my crying clit for not long
enough before it dips down again.
Even submerged in water he could feel how wet I was, and I found
myself grateful for my response to his touch, because water was not
necessarily a good lubricant.
I let myself get lost in his touch, his lips massaging and sucking and
nipping at mine, completely leading our embrace. I was half focused on the
warmth of his plushy, red lips, and the other half was mesmerized by how
expertly he knew how to get me all wound up. My hips wiggled, little
whines left my mouth every time he would need to take a breath.
I felt his erection on my back, oddly loving the feeling of it pressed
against me, reminding me of how hard he is some mornings when we wake
up and he's spooning me. He's using both hands now, one playing with my
clit while the other circles my opening. My own hand tightens on the nape
of his neck as he slowly sinks a finger into me.
Our kiss ends as I keen at the feeling. We keep our lips close, though,
breathing each other in, my gasps and heavy breathing being the sound
filling the bathroom. I'm rolling my hips with his small thrusts, two fingers
fitting snugly in side me. I'm already clenching, his fingers knowing exactly
how to work my clit to get me close.
I feel myself right on the edge of a powerful orgasm, the knot inside my
belly tightening and turning.
"Harry." I whisper his name, a small groan leaving him.
This all felt so intimate: the candles, the comfort of the bath, the way I'm
holding him close to me as I begin to careen over the of edge and into a
deep abyss of pleasure. His fingers worked me as none had before, knowing
me better than anyone probably ever will.
And it's scary.
Terrifying, really. I've given him so much power. I've let him in on all my
secrets. Given him my body over and over again. I'm sinking as I'm floating
from my climax, and it's the oddest feeling. As I clutch onto him, lips
grazing, I'm consumed with so much emotion and feeling, and I don't know
what to do with it.
I'm not even sure if I'm ready for this. If I should slow down, but I don't
know if there are brakes on this ride. I doubt there are, in fact, or I would've
pulled them a long time ago.
 It's serene as I relax into his body, my high subsiding, hand slipping away
from his neck to land on his thigh. I no longer feel his hard length pressing
into me, and I realize he must've cum. He came just from watching me cum.
I smiled mindlessly, loving the thought of that. I felt his lips follow mine, a
smile before he kissed me.
This was much sweeter. More innocent, and as a way to let me know how
much he enjoyed that too. His hand cupped over my drained heat, pulling
me further into his hips.
With no words, we fell into silence, leaning farther back into the tub, my
fingers tracing up and down his meaty thighs while he continued to hold my
pussy, his other hand wrapped around my waist. My heart was still racing,
though, copying my mind. I couldn't help but worry that this was too much
for tonight. Because even though he just fingered me - something he's done
countless times - it felt like we were both trying to say something with our
actions.
Whether we were ready for it was the real question.
†††
It was hours later when we laid in his bed facing each other. His eyes
were closed, so I took the moment to study him. He really was beautiful. It
was odd how effortlessly sexy he could be, and then a moment later be the
cutest thing I've ever seen. I've never met someone like him, and I'm not
sure I ever will again.
He's a once in a lifetime type of person.
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
The words were out of my mouth before I even realized I was talking. I
hadn't made up my mind if I was going to bring it up anyways. It's not like
we had to work around each other's schedules technically, but I do wish to
be prepared if he was going to be gone for a week.
Ugh, I really am pathetic.
His eyes blink open and look at me, "Uh, well, normally, Lu and I drive
up the day before Christmas Eve, and then come back New Year's Eve, so
we can spend it with everyone."
My heart sunk. Fuck, that was nine days. And I usually left a few days
before Christmas Eve.
"What do you usually do?" He asks me.
I force out a small smile, "I drive up to my mom, and spend a few days
with her."
 He nods slowly, "You'll be back for New Year's, right?"
"Yeah, I'll probably drive back down a few days after Christmas."
Before he could say anything else, my phone rang on the nightstand. I
furrow my brows, wondering who would be calling me so late. A few
weeks ago I would've dreaded the sound, but now I knew I wouldn't be on
the receiving end of a verbal attack. Reaching behind me I see Luanne's
name flash on my screen.
"Uh, it's your sister." I tell him.
He looks equally confused, checking his phone too make sure her didn't
miss a call from her.
I answer on the fifth ring, "Hello?"
"I asked Oliver on a date."
My eyes went wide, and I roll over on my back, "Oh?"
She sounded a little frantic when she answered, "Yes, and I don't know
what to fucking do now."
"Well, what did her say?" I ask her.
I hear her sigh, "Nothing, yet. I text him because I'm a coward, and he's
my best friend, and there's no way I could handle the rejection."
I chuckle lightly, "Lu, calm down. I'm certain he'll say yes."
"But you don't know that! What if he thinks it's weird or like he's crossing
a line dating me?" She asks quickly.
"Well, have you talked to Harry about this?" Harry perks you at the
sound of his name, fingers tracing patterns into my stomach.
"Yeah, last weekend when we were driving up to our parents. He said he
was fine- Holy shit, he's calling me! What do I do?" She's clearly panicking,
but I can't help but hold in a laugh.
"Hang up on me and answer it." I tell her.
"Oh, right. Okay I'll call you back in a minute, or maybe longer, oh god,
I'm so nervous."
"Lu, stop rambling and answer the phone."
She groans but finally hangs up. I chuckle and toss my phone on the bed.
"What was that about?" Harry asked.
I turn my head, "Well, your sister grew some balls and asked Oliver out
on a date."
His eyebrows raised, "Oh."
"Are you okay with that?" I ask him curiously.
 He takes a deep breath, "Yeah, I know they really like each other. I'm just
a little worried that things won't work out, and then they'll hate each
other..."
"I get that." I tell him, brushing the hair out of his face, "But you don't
know what's gonna happen. Hell, he might be the one."
He smiles, "Do you believe in that stuff?"
I hesitate before admitting, "Yeah, I do. Don't think everyone finds that
one person, but I do think we have someone out there that was made for
you."
I felt nerves bubble up in my stomach, waiting for him to speak, but all
he does is hum. He looks a bit lost in his head, so I ask, "What about you?"
"What?" He asks, blinking his eyes.
"Do you believe in... finding the one?" I try and make my question sound
lighthearted, but I'm not sure I exceeded.
He takes a moment to answer, "You know, I used to think about that stuff
all the time. Thought my ex was gonna be the one, but... since we broke up
the thought hasn't crossed my mind, honestly."
The idea that Harry had thought that about someone before made me feel
queasy. I didn't like it one bit, but I was curious about his ex.
"Why'd you guys break up?"
His eyes were trained on the hem of the shirt I was wearing. He moved to
rest on his back, pulling me into him, and placing my hand in his over his
heart.
"We dated for all of uni, pretty much. Everything was going fine between
us. Talking about moving in together, we were in love, and about to start
our careers. Then one day I woke up next to her, and I realized I didn't love
her. Don't know why it changed, but it did. Felt awful about it, but I didn't
want to string her along, so I broke it off quickly after that."
That queasiness I was feeling just a moment ago had turned into
complete nausea. I felt as if my face was drained of blood as his words dig
deeper into my mind.
He really just fell out of love? I didn't realize you could do that. I mean,
he thought he was going to marry her at one point, and then woke up one
day only to break up with her?
I couldn't imagine being lucky enough to be on the receiving end of
Harry's love. It would feel as if you were surrounded by warmth, I bet. Your
body would buzz, and heart would race when he looks at you.
 Losing that...
Fuck, losing that would be so agonizing that I actually sympathized with
his ex. She must've been heartbroken.
My phone ringing shook me from my thoughts. I glanced at it to see Lu
calling me back. I answer it quickly, "What did he say?"
"That he had to talk to Harry first."
I look at the green-eyed man I'm lying on, saying, "Is that a good thing?"
She took a deep breath before saying, "Well, he was really sweet, because
it's him, so of course he was. And he told me how badly he wanted to say
yes, but he needed to talk to Harry about it first."
"How do you feel about that?"
I could practically imagine her doing that "Harry shrug" as she tells me,
"I guess I get it. I told him I talked to him about it, but he wanted to tell
Harry himself."
"Okay, so you guys are most definitely going on a date."
"I know! I can't believe it, honestly. I want to thank you, by the way!"
I furrow my brows, "Thank me for what?"
"Well, if you hadn't have talked to me that night at the bar, and told
Oliver to come find me then we never would've had that fight. Without that
fight, I wouldn't have had that push to really do anything about it."
I chuckle, "I don't think I had anything to do with this."
"Oh, you did. Trust me." She says.
Harry's phone starts to buzz next to him, as Lu and I talk. He raises his
brows and flashes the screen to me. Oliver's name was was flashing before
me.
"Hey, Lu, I've got to go. Text me when you get your answer?"
She agrees, and I hang up letting Harry now answer his phone.
"Hey, what's up?" He asks casually. "What's going on?... Mhm... Yeah, I
can hang tomorrow... No, not until later. I've got stuff to do... Okay, see you
around five then."
He hung up and looked at me, "So, he wants to talk to me in person about
something."
I smirked, "He told Lu that he would love to take her on a date, but he
needed to talk to you first."
He sighed, "He's a good guy."
"You trying to tell yourself that, so you don't go all over-protective
brother on his arse tomorrow?" I tease.
 Harry breathes out a laugh, "Shut up. Oli's been in love with my sister
since we were eighteen. If anything, Lu's gonna break his heart."
"Or they could stay together." I suggest.
He looks at me, "Yeah, maybe."
We don't talk after that, instead taking the time to cuddle and drift off to
sleep. At some point, Harry must've gotten up to turn the lights off. I
vaguely remember pouting and whining when I felt him move then leave
me cold in the sheets.
When he had came back, I had turned to my other side, so he wrapped his
arm around my waist, dragging my back into his chest. Nuzzling his face
into my neck, a peck of his lips, the last thing I heard was a soft,
"Goodnight, my angel."
†††
Harry was only in his office for about two hours the next morning after
we cooked breakfast together. He looked fresh when he left me, calm and
collected unlike he had been the past few days. It was a welcome sight, one
that I hoped to see more of.
I spent those two hours searching online for a Christmas present for
Harry. I honestly had no clue what to get him. I was thinking of buying him
a watch. He had a few, but just broke his favorite one. I didn't want to only
get him that, though. I wanted to get him something that would say "thank
you".
Harry's helped me more than I think he realizes. He hasn't just helped me
explore myself sexually. He's built up my self-esteem, healed my heart,
made me see how much pain I was putting myself through by letting Jake
torture me. He made me realize that I was so much more than I gave myself
credit for. I thought I had done something to deserve that type of treatment.
I still believed that Jake was a decent person deep down.
I needed a proverbial slap in the face from someone to get me to see how
toxic and abusive it all was. Jake had completely manipulated me, warped
my mind into believing I was worthless, but Harry... Harry had treated me
with such kindness and care. He led me out of an abyss of despair, and into
a world in which I was in control.
He deserved something special.
When he came down, laptop in hand and sat down next to me, I said,
"That was faster than expected."
 He smiled, "It's much easier when my mind isn't freaking out, and I've
got you waiting down here for me."
I breathed out a laugh, "So you're all finished?"
He nods, "Submitted everything in time for the board meeting
tomorrow."
"Good..." I close my own laptop, and scoot closer to him, "When do you
have to meet Oli?"
"I said I would be at his around five." He tells me.
"So, we can have lunch together?"
His grin lights up his face, "Of course, angel. But first..." He put his
laptop on his lap, opening up a tab he had in his favorites. "I was thinking
that before we go off to our families for the holiday that maybe you and I
could have our own Christmas?"
My heart jumped, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I was googling upstairs before I came down, and found this resort
that has all these houses we can rent out for a long weekend. There's a ton
of activities, and a little village we can visit during the day. Thought since
we won't be together for over a week that we could get away from
everything, and have it just be us."
He looks at me to see my reaction, but I'm looking at the screen. My eyes
are a little misty at the fact that he thought to plan something for us. On the
screen was a picture of one of the neighborhoods. They seemed very cosy,
almost like small cottages, and I could just picture it surrounded by snow.
"I called them already, and they've only got one place left for the four day
weekend before Christmas. I was thinking we drive Thursday after work
and back Monday day? Gives us three full days together." He finishes.
I'm smiling widely, now looking at all the stuff we could do, "How much
is this. This looks super expensive."
"Don't worry about that." I gave him a look, but he just laughs,
"Seriously, Emma, I want to splurge on this for us. It'll be my Christmas
present to you."
I raise one of my eyebrows, "So, you won't get me anything else?"
He smiles, "Nope."
"That grin says otherwise, Harry."
"Emma, let me do this for you, please." He says softly, tucking my hair
behind my ear, "You deserve to be spoiled every once in a while."
"But what if I want to spoil you?" I pout.
 "Oh, angel," He grins, "you'll be spoiling me by letting me fuck you by
the fireplace... and in the hot tub."
I laugh, "Okay, okay, let's do it."
"Really?" He asks.
I nod my head, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss, "Really."
A giant smile appears on his face, "Alright, let me call them back." He
fishes out his phone, and dials the number, "Hello?... Yeah, I spoke to you
just a bit ago about your last cabin?... It's still available?... Yeah, I'd love to
book it." He looks at me, "Angel, can you get my wallet for me? It's on the
kitchen counter." I get up, hearing him speak into the phone again, "It'll be
for two, arriving Thursday evening, and checking out Monday morning...
Mhm..."
I walk back over and hand him his wallet, but instead of sitting next to
him, I crawl on top of his lap. He looks surprised, but smiles devilishly at
me while he plucks his card out. As he's reading off the numbers to reserve
the room, my hands caress up his chest and around his neck, leaning in to
press an innocent peck to his pulse point.
His voice hitches, but he gains control quickly, still rattling off numbers.
I start to gently suck and nibble on his neck just how he likes, little marks
appearing where I want them to. He's still giving out his information as I
slink down the the floor on my knees in-between his. He's watching me
closely while my hands tease his thighs through his sweats, plucking at the
band and gliding over his obvious bulge.
"Uh, yeah, expires next year..." He says breathlessly when I decide to
free him of his sweats. He hadn't put any underwear on, so he sprang up
against his shirt. I eyed it hungrily, knowing I couldn't go too fast, because
he was still talking. I just leaned forward and licked at his head, eyes
flickering up through my eyelashes at his. He was staring down at me as if I
was his next meal, and I suddenly couldn't wait to see where this would lead
us.
Chapter Thirty-One

HARRY
I collapsed on top of Emma, completely spent after the full hour of sex
we just had. Her chest was moving up and down quickly as she tried to
catch her breath, my own doing the same thing. I was still buried inside her,
my face resting in-between her soft breasts. I turn my head to the side and
kiss it. I take my time pecking around her breasts, sucking her nipples into
my mouth. She was exhausted so she was only able to whine a bit, but let
me take my time with them.
Even after what we just did, I still couldn't get enough of her. I would
never get enough of her.
I kissed up the middle of her chest and neck, finally landing on her lips. I
made sure I stayed seated inside her this entire time. There was something
about the warmth of her surrounding me that was absolute ecstasy.
Sometimes I dreamed of it, even, but I knew soon we would have to get up.
After I had booked our little holiday, I let her wrap her pretty lips around
me. She took her time licking and exploring my cock while I watched her
with heated eyes. She was so beautiful, even as she did something so erotic
as popping my balls in and out of her mouth. She knew exactly how to
work me, and build up to an amazing climax. She swallowed every last
drop of my cum greedily, and I pulled her up to taste myself on her tongue.
The thought of it made me twitch a bit inside her, but I needed more time
if we were going to go again. We had already been out to lunch, Emma
treating me since I was paying for our trip. We had practically jumped on
each other when we got home.
That's how we ended up here, which I wasn't complaining about. Our
lazy, exhausted kiss broke apart so we could take a breath. I glanced at the
clock to see it was almost four, and I would be needing to leave in thirty
minutes.
 "Angel? I'm gonna need to head out soon." I whisper, nudging her head
to the side.
She pouts, "Already?"
I can't help but smile, "Yes, I'm sorry. Why don't we take a shower first,
though. You've got me all sweaty now."
"Think you're the one that got us all sweaty." She mumbles.
I laugh into her hair, and decided to finally pull out of her. Before
anything can slip out, I pick her up bridal style, and walk her upstairs. She
lets out a small squeak that makes me smile, surprised by my actions. I set
her down in my bathroom, and turn the shower on.
We step in eagerly, the warm water hitting Emma first. I watch her body
loosen up, her head rolling back as the water streams down her body.
Remnants of my cum is washed down her thighs, reminding me of our first
time so many weeks ago, nearly three months ago now.
Back then I was in such awe, thinking of how she was this mysterious
seductress that had got me to fuck her raw. Now... now I was still in awe,
but at the angel stripped naked before me, seductive yet innocent. The
juxtaposition was so enticing, enamoring me further.
Her head came back up and our eyes met. It was like a jolt of electricity
flowed through my body. Her icy blue eyes piercing into my soul. I let my
eyes wander as she watched me. The water delicately streamed down her
neck, trailing between her cleavage, nipples pert under my stare. They were
so perfectly round, begging to be held in my hands.
Her stomach looked so soft, hips full and round as well leading to her
bare pussy. And her thighs, fuck her thighs were juicy and strong, daring
me to bite into them. I knew if she turned around I would get a view of her
glossy ass, smooth as can be.
"Well, that didn't take very long." She teased, eyes flickering back to
hers, but they were looking down.
I looked down as well to see my erection almost fully hard. That was
much faster than I thought it would be...
I looked back up, debating on how I should take her, but before I could
decide she sunk down to her knees and wrapped her fist around me. I
groaned and adjusted the water spout so it wasn't pouring onto her head
while she stroked me.
"You've been starving for my cock, haven't you?" I say lowly, hand
combing her hair back and holding onto the back of her head.
 She nods, blinking her eyelashes at me. Her lips wrap around my tip and
suck while she speeds her strokes up. I moan her name, and her eyes flash,
popping off me, "Want you to cum all over me."
My mouth dropped, not expecting this, "Yeah?" I choke out.
She nods again, "Yeah, gotta let me know when you're close, okay?"
This time I nod and breathe, "Okay."
I watch in utter awe as she takes me fully to the back of her throat in one
go. I'm surrounded by her wet mouth, only her fist at my base not consumed
by her. She moans sending vibrations up my body, eyes rolling to the back
of my head.
I let her suck me off just as before, this time a little faster, more urgent
seeing as we didn't have all the time in the world.
Her tongue swirls around my head, dips into my slit, and rubs against my
length as she takes me deeper and deeper into her mouth. Her hand cups my
balls, gently rolling them in her palm. She's enjoying this just as much as
me, really getting into it as she bobs her head quickly.
I'm already close, because of how sensitive I was cumming only a few
minutes ago coating her walls, so I choke out, "I'm close, I'm close! Angel,
Emma, please."
She pulls off, breathing hard and stroked me quickly. I tip over the edge
and watch as my cum shoots onto her chest, sinking down to her breasts,
dripping off her hard nipples. My hand was flat against the wall to keep me
up while she stroked me slowly to milk me for all I'm worth.
"Angel, angel," I whisper urgently, "so sensitive."
She gently lets go of me, and stands back up, stretching out a bit, still
covered in my hot, sticky cum.
"Shit, that's hot." I mutter to myself.
"You liked that?" She asks knowingly, scooping up some with her pointer
finger and licking it off.
I breathe out a laugh, "I like everything you do, Emma."
†††
After I said goodbye to Emma, I drove over to Oliver's to talk about him
and my sister. I knew Mike and Niall were going to join us to watch the
game later on, so I was hoping our conversation would be rather painless.
"Mate." Oli greets me when he opens the door. I can tell he's nervous
while he leads us to his living room. "Drive here okay?"
 I raised my eyebrows, "Cut the shit, Oli. Ask me what you want to ask
me."
He huffs out a laugh, burying his face in his hands as we sit down after
grabbing a few beers from the kitchen. When he takes a big breath and
looks up he says, "I want to date your sister."
"Okay."
He's silent for a moment, a look of confusion on his face, "No, I want to,
like, date her date her."
"What else would you mean?" I ask.
He furrows his brows, "But you just said okay."
"Yeah," I lean back on his couch, kind of enjoying his befuddlement. "I
did."
"You're okay if I date your sister?" He asks incredulously.
I chuckle, "Can't really stop you guys, can I?"
"You know I would respect you if you said no, right?"
I exhale, "Oli, stop worrying about what I'm going to think of all this.
You and Lu have had this... thing going on since we were kids practically."
"Have you always been okay with this?" He asks with narrowed eyes.
I shrug, "I've never not been okay-"
"Why didn't you tell me?!" He stands up quickly. "We could've already
been together for years!"
"You never asked." I tell him honestly, "I thought for a few years you
guys were sleeping around behind my back, so I just figured you'd tell me
eventually, but then I realized that you hadn't been when you told me you
had feelings."
"Why didn't you tell me then?" He looked so frustrated now, pacing in
front of me.
"You didn't give me a chance, mate. You just kept saying how you
wouldn't go there because it would be breaking some code." I say simply.
His mouth was open, trying to find something to say when he chokes out,
"You're really okay with me and Lu?"
I stand up, smiling, taking hold of his shoulder, "She's my baby sister and
you're my best friend. I want you to be happy, and I know you'll worship
the ground she walks on." He laughs at that. "So when's the date?"
"Uh, I didn't say yes yet. Wait, did she talk to you about this?" He asks
suddenly.
 "Well, I told her I was fine with it last weekend, and then she called Em
last night."
His eyebrows raise, "You and Emma have been hanging out a lot lately,
haven't you?"
I sit back down, taking a sip of my beer, saying, "Uh, yeah."
He sits down next to me, "How's that going?"
I sigh, "Good. We're... good. I just booked a weekend away for us. Going
to that cute village you can rent out cottages, you know?"
"You're taking her on holiday?" He asks me.
"Yeah, she uh- well, we aren't going to see each other for like a week,
because of Christmas, almost two, really..."
He doesn't reply, so I look over to see a smug look on his face.
I roll my eyes, "What? What do you have to say?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all." He says even though we both know he was
dying to say something, "I'm gonna call Lu real quick, okay?"
I nod my head, turning on his tv to watch the pregame coverage. Mike
and Niall should be here in fifteen minutes, and I find myself bored, dialing
Emma's number.
"Well, that was fast."
I laugh as I hear her voice, "Sorry, I'm bored, because Oliver is off
flirting with my sister, and the boys aren't here yet."
"Ah, so you just call me when you're bored, I see..." She teases.
"Angel, you know that's not true. You're just too damn entertaining." I
tell her.
I hear her laugh ring through my phone, head rolling back to look at the
ceiling. A moment later she's asking, "How was the talk with Oliver?"
"He was surprised I was so okay with everything. Looked like he wanted
to punch me for not telling him sooner for a second." I joke.
I'm lucky enough to hear her laugh again, "Well, I'd be annoyed too! They
could've had years together. No sense in keeping two people apart for no
good reason."
I pause, head lifting from the couch. Did she mean something by that?
Was she hinting that she was ready for something serious? I hesitate before
saying, "Maybe two people who are meant to be will always find a way to
be together. No matter how long it takes."
My heart was beating loud, ringing in my ears, waiting for her to say
something.
 Finally, she says, "I thought you didn't believe in that stuff."
"I never said that." I answer quickly, brows furrowed, now leaning
forward, both elbows on my knees, "I said I used to then something
happened that made me think otherwise, but now..."
"Now?" She asks after a second.
I wish we were talking in person right now, so I could see her face. I
needed to know what she was thinking, but I didn't want to risk ruining us,
and, especially, not over the phone.
"What do you think?" I decide to ask her.
Without hesitation, she says, "I think you're a romantic, so it would only
make sense for you to believe in something like true love or soulmates."
Right then Oli walks in, a big smile on his face, at the same time the
doorbell rings. He goes to answer it, so I say, "Maybe you're right. I've got
to go now, angel. The boys are arriving."
"Oh, okay." She says, sounding slightly deflated, "Have a nice night,
Harry."
"Tell Millie I said hello."
I could practically hear the smile in her small laugh, "Oh, I will."
"See you at the gym tomorrow. Remember Mike and I are showing you
how to escape from certain holds, so be ready."
"I'll be ready, coach."
I laugh, seeing the guys come in to the room, "See you."
"Who was that?" Mike asks as I hang up.
"No one." I say nonchalantly, nodding at Niall. I hadn't had much time to
talk to him, but Oli and Mike seemed to really get along with him.
"So, no one's making you smile like that?" Mike teased further.
I try and wipe the smile from my face, but fail miserably, "Did Oli tell
you guys that him and Lu are finally going on a date?"
My distraction worked perfectly as Mike turns to Oli, who is giving me a
look, and claps his back, "Alright, big Oli finally grew some balls!"
"More like my sister grew some balls and asked him." I tell him, earning
an even more annoyed look from my best friend.
"Well that's not surprising." Mike mutters.
We talk about this for a while, everyone seemingly forgetting about my
strange behavior. The game starts and we all watch diligently, it being a
very important match. I learn that Niall is a very talkative type. He loves to
make people laugh, and is similar to Mike in that way, whereas Oli and I
tend to be more the type to hang back and listen.
I can see why him and Maura get along. Besides the fact that they're both
Irish, and apparently from close cities, they're both fun-loving and
spontaneous. I can also see why Emma feels so comfortable around him.
He's got that thing about him that makes you trust him. Although her can be
a bit loud, he also seems to be a good listener. He listens intently when Oli
tells him about the time that the three of us went to a Man U game, and
almost got banned from the stadium. It was quite a long story, but Niall
didn't interrupt once, and afterwards asked a ton of questions.
When he gets up to get another beer, I join him.
"Mate, what are you drinking?" He asks, head stuck in the fridge.
"Guinness." I answer back.
"Ahh, knew I liked you!" He said pulling out two more beers for us.
"Sorry, I haven't had a chance to properly talk to you yet-"
He's shaking his head, "Nah, don't worry about it. Emma talked you up
enough for me to like you right away."
I perked up, "Really?"
He gave me a knowing look, "Yeah."
There was a few seconds of silence before I caved, "What did she say?"
He smirked at me, "Nothing too much. Just that you were helping with
the Jake situation."
"Does he bug her a lot at school?" I ask, caution thrown out the window.
"Tries t'. I keep him at bay, for the most part, but he doesn't seem t' be
stopping anytime soon." Niall tells me.
I nod slowly, "Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"Can you walk Emma to her car after work? I don't trust that guy." I say,
making sure to look him in the eye, so he knows how serious I am.
Niall studies me for a second, deciding to say, "You care a lot about her,
huh?"
I fidget uncomfortably, "She's a friend."
"Right." We share a knowing look, neither admitting we know the other
knows, "Well, you don't need t' worry about Em at work. I've got her back."
I can see him telling me the truth, genuinely caring about Emma's well-
being, "Thank you."
"No need." he says, shaking his head, "That Jake guy is a real tosser."
 "He's unstable." I agree.
He nods, "Do you know if she ever reported him or anything?"
"No, she just recently started to see how serious it actually is. The fucker
knows where she lives too."
"Shit." Niall draws out, "Well, I'll watch over her at work, and I'm sure
you've been making sure she's safe otherwise."
I clear my throat, Niall taking a big sip of his beer and smirking at me. I
stand up straight, "Don't mention this to anyone, yeah?"
"I've got you." He assures me, nodding his head, and leading the way
back out to the living room.
Mike and Oli are cheering like crazy, explaining the wild hat trick goal
that just went down. I'm distracted almost immediately with an incoming
text.
From Emma: Millie says she's hurt because you haven't come to see
her yet.
I smile widely.
To Emma: Tell her I'll be there next week if you allow me.
From Emma: You're always welcome here. You know that.
From Emma: As long as you bring dessert.
To Emma: How about red velvet cupcakes? Cream cheese frosting
made with love?
From Emma: Don't make me moan in front of my friend, Harry.
I hold back my laugh, continuing a fairly innocent conversation with
Emma throughout the rest of the match. It lasted a few hours, well into the
night, and not once did we run out of things to talk about.
It was so easy for her, and I was beginning to think she would be
interested in something more with me. Especially after this weekend. I
couldn't believe how much it helped having her around.
I was on the verge of a full on panic attack. I really thought it was going
to consume me, but somehow she knew to call me and her voice instantly
gave me something to focus on.
She was so sweet all weekend, making sure I didn't work myself to death.
She set limits for me, made me eat for once, and it never came off as over-
bearing.
Her presence was so comforting that I honestly didn't want her to go
home. I wanted her in my bed. Every night.
 At this rate, I wouldn't be able to hold my feelings in much longer,
hoping she would be ready for me.
I stayed with the boys for another hour, heading home afterwards. I was
ready to just lay in my bed and watch TV. This whole weekend was so
exhausting, and my legs and arms still felt a bit like they could give away at
any moment from the anxiety I felt all weekend - the rigorous sex we head
not helping either.
By the looks of it, though, I wouldn't be getting to bed anytime soon. Lu's
car was parked in my driveway. I could see the lights on in my house,
knowing Lu had used her keys to get in. I sigh as I close my car door,
shoulders tensing when a blast of wind hits me. I trudge up to my steps, and
open my door.
I hear my TV on, turning the corner to see Lu spread out on my couch,
hand in a bag of crisps. I stand there and stare at her until she notices me,
jumping slightly when she finally realized I was standing right there.
"Fuck, you could announce yourself sometime." She huffs.
"Well, this is my house." I say, walking over and sitting on the couch,
stealing back my crisps, "What are you doing here?"
"Just wanted to thank my lovely brother about him being so cool about
me dating his best friend." She says with a shit-eating grin on her face.
I roll my eyes, "What, by eating all my crisps?"
She shrugs, "Also, wanted to see when you were driving to mom and
dad's for Christmas."
"Right," I sigh, "I'm gonna be out of town the weekend before, so I was
thinking Tuesday morning?"
"Where are you going?" She asks curiously.
"Just rented out a little cabin to myself. Needed some time away from
everyone." I lie.
She raises her eyebrows at me, "By yourself, huh?"
"Yeah." I say plainly.
She nods slowly, letting the silence consume us for a few seconds before,
"So, just to be clear you're not inviting the girl who left her panties lodged
in-between the couch cushions?"
I choked on the crisp I was attempting to swallow, coughing violently as
Lu just watched me suffer, "What?"
"Yeah, those cute lace cheeksters. Put them in your laundry bin, so they
could get washed." She said nonchalantly.
 "Um..."
"I also might've done some snooping while I was up there." She
continued shamelessly, "Saw that you stocked up with some new shampoo
and body wash, and you seem to have started to fill up the other half of your
closet..."
"Seriously? You just went through all my shit?"
"Is she that Angel girl?"
I groan, hands rubbing at my face, "Lu, please... I'm so exhausted. Just
want to go to bed."
"Why, because you've been fucking all weekend?" She asks teasingly.
"You're a pain in my ass." I grumble.
"Harry, this is a big deal!" She says, "You invited a girl back to your
home. You never do that!"
I sigh, knowing she won't give this up unless I give her a little bit to
nibble on, "Look, I'm hanging out with someone, okay?"
"And?"
I can't help but laugh at her insistence, "We're having fun. I'm taking her
on a weekend getaway, and that's it."
"Is she your girlfriend?"
It takes me a second to answer, wishing I could say something different,
"No."
"You hesitated." She points out, eyes wide with excitement, "You
definitely have a girlfriend."
"Lu, I really don't. We're just hanging out." I concede.
She nods slowly, eyes narrowing in suspicion, "Is this one of those things
where you two are sleeping together, and now have fallen for each other,
but won't admit it?"
I bite the inside of my mouth, "We're done talking about this."
"Fine... fine," She raises her hands in surrender, "I will say whoever this
is has great taste in underwear."
I roll my eyes, "Don't mention this to anyone, yeah? I really don't need
Mike and Naomi on my back about being single or some shit."
"It's between you and me." She mimes zipping her lips, but speaks too
soon, "And Oli. I tell him everything."
I breathe out a laugh, "You know, you two are going to be so annoying."
"I know," She falls back onto the couch with a slightly dreamy
expression on her face, "I'm so excited for Thursday. I'm meeting up with
the girls on Tuesday to go shopping. Do you think I should wear a dress, or
go casual?"
"Uh, what are you guys doing?" I ask kind of awkwardly. I'm not sure
how much I like talking to Lu about dating Oli.
"He suggested the winter market. Ugh, it's going to be so cute! Maybe
you should bring that girl there?" She proposes.
I feel my face get hot, changing the subject back to her, "I think it's too
cold for a dress. It's better to be comfortable in jeans and a sweater."
"But I want to look cute." She says.
"Lu," I give her a look, "Oli has known you since you were fourteen.
He's seen you sick, pimply, and with a mouth full of braces."
She glares at me, "Don't remind me of the dark days, Harry!"
I smile, "What I'm trying to say is that he's seen every version of you
possible. He's seen you off to school dances, we've all attended weddings
together, and gone out to the club. I promise that no matter what you wear
on Thursday he will think you are beautiful."
She's frowning at me, but says, "You're too soft."
A loud laugh leaves me. It reminds me of what Emma had said earlier
about me being a romantic. I guess she was right. I never thought of myself
as one, but I had also never really had the opportunity.
I had been so young when Carla and I dated, and she had been the type to
not really like flowers and all the cheesy romance stuff. She literally told
me on our second date that if I ever bought her a bouquet of flowers that
they would just die, because she was the worst at remembering to water
them. We also didn't have the time or money to take trips anywhere. We
were poor uni kids.
But now... Well, now I had someone to spoil even if it wasn't official.
And I could practically picture Emma's eyes lighting up if I brought her
flowers. She had told me of the little flower garden her mom used to keep
when she was a kid, and how much she loved it. Maybe I should keep a
small bouquet at my place since we were there so often.
When Lu leaves and hour later, I finally trudge up my stairs and collapse
in bed. I breathe in a long breath, smelling the faint scent of vanilla. It made
me miss Emma. It had only been half a day, yet here I was wishing she was
in my bed again. She's so comfy, and she smells so good. She would lull me
back to sleep quickly.
 I groan, lifting myself up to brush my teeth and wash my face. My house
suddenly feels empty. Like it was missing something, and of course, like the
pathetic man I am, I knew exactly what it was.
She's weaved her way into my life in such a way that had me feeling a
little lost without her. I didn't know how I was going to get through a whole
week of not seeing her. Especially after our trip. I knew it would do nothing
but strengthen my feelings for her.
I wondered if maybe I should bring up our relationship on the trip, but
then I immediately thought about how awful it would be if she said she
wasn't interested in me that way. My heart clenches at the idea of that. The
idea of being left in that cute little cottage by myself, surrounded by the
memory of her as she fled the scene...
But she wasn't the same Emma I met months ago. She wasn't questioning
spending multiple nights in a row together. She was suggesting it, expecting
it. She didn't once hesitate to help me this weekend, and she let me help her
when she needed it.
There was a chance at us. I just needed to know when to take it.
Chapter Thirty-Two

EMMA
"Harry thinks I should just wear something warm, but I don't know..." Lu
says.
"Don't know why you're so worried about this. Not like you and Oliver
haven't been on a billion dates without them being called dates." Maura
says, sifting through the rack of clothes.
"Because those didn't end with him kissing me!" She exclaims.
"Ah, so you're a kiss on the first date kind of bird?" Naomi said with a
smirk.
Luanne rolls her eyes, "If Oli asked me to marry him on the first date
then I would say yes."
I laugh, "I was just at the market last week, and I was freezing, so I think
Harry's right about not wearing a dress."
"You went to the market and didn't invite us?" Maura feigned offense.
Lu sends her a cheeky smile, "Probably because she was with that guy
she bought the lingerie for."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. How's that going?" Naomi asks.
"It's fine, but this is about Lu and Oliver not me and some guy." I say,
trying to get the focus off myself before I blurt out that it's Harry, feeling
the increasing need to tell someone about it.
Maura perks up, "Speaking of lingerie... Have you thought about what
you want to wear underneath?"
I smirk when Lu's face turns red. She scoffs, "What do you take me for a
hussy?"
"Yes." Maura strikes back.
Luanne tries to hold back her smile, but fails spectacularly. A loud laugh
leaves her, "You're right, if he gives me the chance I'm definitely shagging
him. Been bloody thinking of it since I was sixteen for christ sake."
 "I'm placing bets on Oli wanting to make it special, and setting up
candles and all that." Naomi pipes up.
Luanne groans, "He probably will. He's such a gentleman. That fucker's
going to make me wait. I'll still be prepared though, just in case. Emma you
like lace, right?"
"Uh, yeah?" I answer, a confused smile on my face.
"Like that's your go-to when you're with a man, right?" She presses.
"Isn't it everyones?" I say.
She rolls her eyes, "Yeah, but where do you get yours? I feel like you
have great taste."
"Hey, what about us?" Maura asks incredulously.
Luanne waves her off, "Any particular store you frequent?"
"I guess... There's a store on fifth that is decently priced and usually has
good sales on their bedroom attire." I tell her slowly, wondering why she's
so adamant.
"What's the name of it?" She asks seemingly innocent.
I tell her the name of the shop, and I watch her eyes widen a bit, but she
turns around, taking the clothes from Naomi. She leads us to the fitting
rooms, and starts trying on clothes. With every outfit she comes out with we
give her our thoughts. Lu looks cute in pretty much anything, so it's hard for
us to choose. We finally talk her down to three pieces: a dress, jeans and
sweater combo, and a jumpsuit.
While she's paying for them, telling us she'll decide that night, and send a
picture to us, she asks, "Hey, I was thinking of planning a girls get together
the weekend before Christmas since I won't see you girls until New Year's.
Is everyone free?"
Naomi and Maura immediately say yes, but I realize it's the same
weekend Harry and I were going away for, "Sorry, but I'll be out of the
city."
Her face stays neutral, stepping in line with me as we leave the store,
"That's okay. So where are you going?"
I stare ahead of me, face warm, "Uh, well, I'm actually driving up to my
mom's earlier this year than usual, so we can spend more time together." I
end up answering slowly, figuring out my excuse as I talked.
"Wow, that's a long holiday to take with your family." Lu mentions, "Me
and Harry spend over a week with ours, and by the end of it we are trying to
kill each other."
 "That's because you've got a billion children running around these days."
Maura says.
"I'm honestly impressed with both of you." Naomi tells us, "Can barely
stand spending a regular weekend with my mom. I would be fighting
nonstop if I were in either of your shoes."
Somehow I had gotten the topic off of myself, and Lu seemed to believe
my horrible lie. I really was not good at keeping this a secret. Millie knew
of course, but so did Niall, and my mom knew something was up the
moment Harry's name flashed on my phone. Luanne had been acting a bit
weird with her questioning today, but maybe it was because of her
excitement of the date she was going on. I had noticed she can get a little
awkward at times, so this wasn't the first time I had seen weird expressions
from her.
When I got home, I warmed up some leftovers from last night. After a
particularly rough training session with Harry and Mike they treated me to
dinner. Mike invited Naomi, so she met us there, and the four of us hung
out for a few hours.
I always liked watching Mike and Naomi interact. They seemed like such
opposites. Mike was the life of the party, loud and friendly, whereas Naomi
was the quiet type. She took her time to answer questions while Mike
answered off the cuff.
But it was plain as day how much they loved each other. Mike always
gave her his full attention, studying her face as she spoke, turning his body
into her. And the way Naomi looked at him when he was telling some big
story was so sweet. They were the definition of couple goals.
I had skipped the gym tonight, feeling rather tired, so I laid down on the
couch, and ate my leftovers. Harry had text me the itinerary for our trip next
weekend, also giving me a list of activities to choose from. I was feeling
more of an increasing need to talk about my feelings, feeling as if I talked
them out then they would make more sense, so I called up Millie and asked
her to come over.
When we settled back on my couch, Millie shoveling a spoonful of ice
cream in her mouth she asks, "So what's going on? You seem a little... I
don't know, like, there's something bothering you."
I play with my own tub of ice cream, answering, "Harry."
Her eyebrows skyrocket up her forehead, "What did he do?"
I give her a pained face, "He's just so... Ugh, he's too-"
 "Oh," Millie says, eyes widening, head nodding, "is this where you tell
me you like him?"
"Millie," I groan, burying my face in my elbow resting on the top of the
couch, "I don't know what to do!"
"Well, do you get the vibe that he feels the same?" She asks me fairly.
Sighing, I say, "Yeah, I do. Everything's so, well, good between us. He's
really gone out of his way to be a good friend to me, especially with all the
Jake bullshit."
Millie's nose scrunches up, "Please tell me Harry beat the shit out of
him."
"Not quite." I say, giving her an unimpressed look, "I don't know, we
just... I feel like we get each other, and it's always so much fun being
around him. He even rented out this cute little cottage for us to spend next
weekend at since we're both traveling for the holidays."
One of her eyebrows lifts, "Okay, so he definitely likes you. What's
stopping you from saying anything?"
I hesitate before admitting, "I'm fucking freaking out, Millie. I'm still not
sure if I'm ready after the whole Jake thing, because he told me loved me,
and then ended up crushing me. And over the weekend Harry told me what
happened with him and his ex... He just stopped loving her, Millie. He woke
up next to her one day and said it was over. I- I don't know if I could handle
that. Like, I know deep down I'll be okay, and I'll survive, but I don't know
if I'm ready to feel that type of rejection again so soon."
She's nodding slowly, taking in my words carefully before responding, "I
think that's totally fair. Jake put you through hell, but you're much stronger
and more confident now than I've ever seen you before. Plus, you don't
know that Harry's just going to stop liking you one day. Wasn't he in like
uni when he was dating this girl?"
''Yeah, he thought she was the one. That's what he said. Then woke up
not loving her, broke up with her, and has spent the last six or seven years
having one-night-stands and meaningless fucks. I don't think he even knows
how to be in a relationship anymore." I explain.
"Then what are you two doing now? Literally everything you've told me
since I met him has been like he's your boyfriend. He came to your house
just to make sure you were okay, Emma." She says frustratingly, "I think
you're letting your fear of getting hurt talk yourself out of being happy."
 I bite my lip, and confess, "I know I am." She looks as though she's about
to say something, but I continue, "It's weird, because when I'm with him it's
like everything is perfect and I feel so comfortable, but the moment I'm
away from his... aura I start to overanalyze everything."
She breathes out a laugh, "You've always been the queen of
overthinking."
I groan loudly, "I know! I hate it! Tell me what to do, Millie."
"I think it's obvious, Em." She says easily, "You don't need me telling you
what to do. You know exactly what your heart is telling you to do."
†††
"I was thinking..." He mumbled against my lips.
We had been kissing outside the gym, against my car for the last few
minutes. We had taken showers in the locker room, so we were nice and
clean, ready to head to his place.
"Hmmm?"
"Would you be okay if I tied you up tonight? Maybe used some toys on
you?" He suggests quietly, slipping his hands down to my ass.
I thought about it for only a second before answering, "Yeah, that sounds
perfect tonight. Not gonna lie, my body is very sore from the workout you
put me through today."
"Oh, so you just want me to do all the work?" He teases.
I nod my head, grinning at him, "On one condition."
"And what's that?"
"Saturday night..." I start and he urges me on, "I get to tie you up to the
bed."
I didn't get a verbal answer, instead his lips crashing into mine for
another makeout session. Neither of us cared that the gym was open and
busy, people walking by us frequently. It felt a little freeing, opening up a
bit more.
Since my conversation with Millie, I decided to take it slow. Harry and I
didn't need to rush things. We were happy as we were, and we had our trip
coming up. I was thinking about bringing it up after the holidays, but
knowing me I would chicken out.
"Race you back home?" He says cheekily.
I laugh and we finally enter our cars, driving back safely. He makes us
salads for dinner, neither of us too hungry, and finally we head upstairs. I
feel like it had been so much longer than four days since we had been
together, and I was excited to try something more intense again.
Also my quads were burning, so as long as I didn't have to ride him I was
fine with whatever.
We made sure to brush our teeth and do our nighttime routine, so that
way we were prepared. I knew he wasn't going to go easy on me tonight. I
knew I was most definitely going to be tired and drained after he had his
way with me. I was probably going to immediately fall asleep, maybe even
before he untied me.
"Ready?" He asks me, silk ties in his hand as I sit naked on his bed.
"Yes." I say, remembering how he likes to hear my consent.
He lays me down, firm hand gliding up my body, taking hold of one of
my arms, and lifting it to the bedpost. I watch as he ties my wrist up gently,
leaning down to peck the back of my hand. I smile at him, our eyes staying
locked as he made his way around our bed, and to my other side. He repeats
his actions, receiving another small, sweet kiss.
Silence fills the room while he rifles through our box of toys. I wiggle a
bit, legs clenching shut when I see a vibrator in his hand. I then eye him
hungrily as he slowly strips off his clothes. With one hand he reaches
behind him and pulls his shirt over his head, easier and smoother than I ever
would've been able to. My boobs would've gotten in the way if I tried
anything like that.
He slipped his sweats down, once again wearing no underwear. He's only
half hard, but it was enough to get me excited. Knees coming on the bed, he
shuffles in-between my legs, pulling them apart, eyes darting down to my
core and then back up to my eyes.
"Love how wet you get for me, angel." He says in a low dangerous tone.
"Only you." I answer back, completely enthralled in the brightness of his
eyes.
They flash soft for a few seconds before turning back into the intense,
lustful look he was giving me previously, "Know just what to say, don't
you? Got me rock hard now."
I glanced to see indeed he was as stiff as could be, bobbing as he moved.
He began to crawl on top of me, hands holding him up on either side of my
head. His hair dangled a bit, needing a slight trim. I pulled at one of my
restraints attempting to comb it back, but of course I couldn't so I just
pouted.
 "Already wishing you could touch me, yeah?" He asks teasingly, leaning
down to nudge my chin up with his nose. He lightly grazes his lips from the
base of my throat to my ear, nibbling at my lobe to say, "Not tonight, Em.
You're all mine to touch."
My head had been lolled to the side, back arching so I could touch some
part of him. I heard him chuckle into my ear when I let out a pitiful,
"Please."
"But we just got started. Need to warm you up."
"I'm warm." I breathe out.
I feel him smirk against my neck, placing wet kisses randomly on my
skin, "Being very greedy tonight, angel. Think I need to teach you a listen."
My legs come closer to his body, his warm skin sending shivers up and
down my own body. His tongue darts out, making me mewl. Taking his
time, Harry's lips find every inch of my skin, slinking down my chest,
toying with me by ignoring my pert nipples. I'm wiggling underneath him,
hips rutting upwards until he forces them down, looking up at my from in-
between my breasts.
Our eyes meet and there's a moment of charged heat between us before
he says huskily, "You're being so impatient. Not sure you deserve this.
Maybe I'll just leave you tied up, naked and wet all night..."
"No," I whine out, "I'm sorry, baby. I'll be good, I promise."
"You promise?"
I nod my head quickly, and say with a smirk, "I'll be an angel."
He laughs at my response, "My angel."
"Your angel."
With those words he finally wraps his lips around my needy nipple. I sigh
in relief, his tongue flicking and circling, driving me absolutely crazy. I feel
myself getting wetter and wetter as he pops off and switched to my other
one. This time he sucks and nibbles, the different sensations making me
arch into him, and pull at the silk ties. I wrap my hands around the fabric to
give myself some form of grounding.
His teeth pull at my nub, his green eyes piercing into mine. With one last
flick of his tongue he kisses down my stomach, hands caressing up and
down my sides. He's lying flat on the sheets, my knees bent at his waist. I
watch him closely, lips pressing against me over and over again.
His hands suddenly grip my hips, pushing them down onto the bed while
he sucks a remarkable love bite at my hip bone. It's amazing how worked
up he has me, so quickly. My core is literally pulsating with need for him.
He takes his time making my thighs quiver, little marks now adorning my
skin, only for Harry and I's eyes. It's when his eyes flicker back to mine
when he leans forward to lick a long stripe up my folds.
I gasp at the feeling, my chest thrusting up into the air, but my hips are
held down steadily by Harry's strong hands.
"Always tastes so good for me. Could eat you out all day..." His voice is
low and gravelly, a dangerous tone that makes my heart jump.
"Please." I breathe out desperately.
He smirks at me, "As you wish."
He dives back down, tongue licking up and down, toying with my clit
and circling my opening. I'm whining, head rolled back, eyes closed, and
pulling at my restraints.
He's tormenting me, and I can tell he loves it.
Finally, he sucks my throbbing clit into his mouth, tongue pressing on it
as he does. I whimper at the feeling, an intense wave of pleasure ricocheting
throughout my body. He pops off, flicking and circling my clit for a few
minutes, building up to a climax, but pulling away when I start my telltale
signs of edging.
I'm pouting immediately, head coming up to look at him, but he's
drawing back up my body, lips embracing mine. I moan agianst his plush
lips, tongue pushing into my mouth and massaging mine. I love the taste of
me on him. It's a primal need I've developed since beginning our story.
I wish I could touch him, pull him into me until every part of our bodies
were flush against each other. We kiss with fervor, his hand drifting lower
and lower on my body, fingers gliding up and down my soaking wet core
when he reaches it. I whine against his lips, a desperate plea to do
something, and finally he pushes one finger slowly into me.
I inhale sharply at the feeling, relief flooding through me. His nose
nudges my head to the side again, teeth nipping at my ear, "So fucking
tight. Gonna need to take my time with you tonight. Open you up all nice
and wide until your absolutely dripping for me."
"Yes." I whisper.
He does as he says, slowly moving in and out of me, curling his finger to
massage the spongy bunch of nerves inside me. When his middle finger
joins him he goes even slower, torturing me.
"Harry." I pout, "Need more."
 He kisses along my jaw, "Do you deserve it?"
"Mhm, I do, I do..."
"Want me faster?" I nod, shuffling a bit underneath him. "Want me
rougher?"
"Yes, yes, yes..." I answer quickly.
His lips are magnetic as mine find them quickly, this time a simpler kiss,
but one that is sure to be seared into my mind. He parts too quickly, but
keeps his lips close to mine. My eyes blink open in a daze, immediately
meeting his.
"No."
I stare at him for a second, "What?" I whine pitifully.
"I said no. You don't get me faster or rougher. I'm going to tease you open
until three of my fingers are slipping in and out of you so easily I could just
glide into you. Then I'm gonna bring out our new toy, and fuck you with it.
See how much you like it." His voice is deadly low as he returns to my ear,
"Then I'll fill you up with my cock and my cum. Want to be spilling out of
you, so I can lick it up. You know how much I love the taste of us."
My mouth was watering, legs attempting to clamp shut at his words. He
was absolutely filthy and I loved it. I found myself nodding submissively.
He continues his slow, toe-curling pace, making me keen and whine over
and over again, and Harry's eating it up. I feel drops of his cum on my
stomach where his cock rests as he fucks me slowly with his fingers.
Finally, I feel a third finger added, my back arching and mouth opening
in a silent moan. I was tight and clenching around his knuckles, begging for
some form of release, but I knew I wouldn't be getting one all that soon. We
had already been at this for at least thirty minutes.
It was absolutely tantalizing how he was undoing me. He knew it would
be impossible for me to come at this pace, but he wouldn't do a damn thing
about it. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he did a few short pulses
against my G-spot, feeling too sensitive for not cumming yet.
"No..." I breathed out when his fingers left my heat.
He lifted himself up, so he was on his knees, all three fingers in his
mouth as he licked them clean. Even with a mouthful I could see him
smirking.
When he slowly pops them out of his mouth, just as he had my nipples
and clit earlier, he says, "No? Thought you wanted more?"
"I do, I do. Fuck, please, Harry, baby."
 He's grinning like a Cheshire Cat now, "Love it when you beg." He
mumbles and reaches for the vibrator. We hadn't used this one yet, and I
hadn't owned one quite like it. It was long and purple, bendy and had a
slight bulbous head with an extra "antenna-like" feature that was supposed
to be used on your clit while it was inside you. When we had unboxed it, I
had read off all the features including ten levels of intense vibrations and
seven varying rhythms to choose from.
Harry clicked it on, a low buzzing filling the silence around us. I watched
restlessly as he put the setting on the lowest vibration, and clicked through
the different rhythms. Each one made my core clench around nothing, and I
felt myself starting to drip down to my bum.
He knew exactly what he was doing to me, the fucker.
His bright green eyes flickered to mine when he settled on a staggered
vibration rhythm. One he knew would be making me cry out for more. He
brought it closer to my pussy, and I waited breathlessly for the moment it
touched me.
That moment seemed to last for forever before the tingling sensation met
my opening. I huff out some air, some of my pent up tension leaving my
body when I feel it. He doesn't push it in, though. No, instead he circles my
opening then brings it up to circle my clit. It never touches, but the
vibrations cover more ground then just his fingers or a dildo would.
I loll my head to the side, and close my eyes, basking in the feeling of
bliss. It wasn't enough, however, and soon I found myself verbally pleading
with him.
"C'mon, Harry, please..."
He surprisingly gives in, slowly sinking the vibrator into me. I feel the
burn of the stretch as the bulbous head makes its way further into me. Once
it passes through my initial opening, though, it becomes much easier. My
hips move down onto it so it sinks in a bit faster, the abnormal vibrating
pattern making me twitch a bit.
Suddenly he changes tempos, he switched to the normal, steady
vibration, and turned it up a few notches. I groan in pleasure, my walls
pulsating around the toy as he thrusts it in and out. He never pulls it all the
way out, instead stopping when the head meets my opening, never letting it
cross the barrier. Every time he pushes it back in the second "arm" brushes
by my clit making me tremble.
 It felt so good, the vibrations reaching far and wide. It almost felt like my
body was buzzing along with it.
I could feel Harry's eyes on me the entire time, and was only imagining
the sight before him. My body had started to sweat, skin probably glistening
below him. I was completely stretched out, my arms tugging uselessly at
the silk ties while my hips started to move along with his thrusts.
He let me have some control of my own pleasure by doing this, but I also
knew how sexy he would've thought I looked tired up and trying to fuck
myself with a vibrator. I opened my eyes, still a bit hazy from the buildup of
a climax. I was immediately entranced by Harry's heated eyes, dark and
lustful, yet still so beautiful and green. That knot tightened and tightened
inside me, and I knew I was moments away from an intense orgasm.
I whisper out a final plea, and get my wish as he tilts the toy upwards and
massages my G-spot in a tantalizing motion. I clench around it, body
tensing as my vision goes white. A strangled gasp escapes me as waves of
ecstasy roll through my body. My hips are off the mattress, rolling against
the toy, and he doesn't stop.
Instead, he turns the vibrator up to its highest setting and pushes my hips
down. I cry out, not fully down from my orgasm. My hips are twitching and
squirming at the sensory overload my pussy is experiences. Suddenly, his
slow sultry movements were quick and deliberate. The way he massaged
my G-spot was like he was put on earth only to pleasure me.
I never came down from my orgasm. No, it rolled straight into another
one. One that appeared to last for minutes at a time. I had heard that a
woman's orgasm could last up to two minutes, but had never experienced
one that didn't last for a few seconds to maybe thirty. With Harry, of course,
it always felt longer, but I attributed that to the feeling of time slowing
down. Tonight, though, I knew it was long. I knew my mind was in
complete bliss for more than a straight minute, and a minute seems a lot
longer when you're stuck in the heavens.
I felt like jelly melting into our bed, barely noticing him pulling out the
vibrator, eyes hungrily gazing at my cum coating it. He sets it aside and
hovers over me. Combing the hair out of my eyes, he tilts my head so I'm
looking at him, and says, "Angel, I know you're a little tired, but I'm gonna
fuck you. Gonna fill you up and coat your walls with my cum. Claim you
again... You okay with that?"
 And even though I was exhausted and sensitive, I still wanted that. I
wanted him inside me. I wanted to make him feel good, so I nod and
mumble out a, "Yes".
I waited in a daze as he pecked my lips not once, not twice, but three
times. The cutest most innocent kisses we've ever shared in bed. He pushes
my legs apart more, and I feel him in-between me, long and heavy and hard,
leaking profusely just begging to be swallowed up my pussy.
He swipes his head up and down my folds, and I'm so ready for him.
Even though I feel as if I'm in a daze from my two orgasms, I can't help but
need to feel him inside me. I waited and waited until I finally felt him push
in. I was so slick that he slipped inside of me easily. My head rolled back as
he pushed further in, stretching me.
He pulls away from me to stand up on his knees, hands lifting my hips
off of the bed. My fists tighten around the silk fabric as he thrusts in and out
of me. The angle is superb bringing me right back to the edge within
minutes. I could feel Harry twitch inside me every time my walls clamped
around him, knowing he was close too.
His eyes were trained on where we were connected, my stretched out
pelvis, dripping wet folds, and his cock glistening in my arousal. I could
hear him slip in and out of me, the wet sounds only making me lose control
more. I sloppily move my hips against his adding to the pleasure tenfold.
I could see how dark and lustful his eyes were as he watched himself
disappear over and over again. He was mesmerized by the sight, growling
when I thrust onto him roughly. He took control more, hands tightening on
my hips, and started to pound into me. The rough sounds of our skin
slapping mixed with the wet sounds of us moving together was enough to
send me over the edge.
My hands tried to desperately free themselves from the ties, and I knew I
was at a point where there would be light bruising, but I could barely feel it.
My climax was so consuming I felt as though I had actually been lifting to
the clouds. My body and limbs buzzed as white-hot fire ran through my
veins.
My walls were erratically spasms around him as he continued his sloppy
thrusts. I hazily blinked opened my eyes, orgasm still rushing through me to
see him finally let go. His eyes rolled back and his mouth fell open in a
strangled moan of my name.
 Our bodies crashed back onto the mattress, his weight suffocating me,
but in a way I oddly craved. I loved the way it felt to have him rely on me
in the small way, like I was there to catch him as he fell. I wished I could
comb my fingers through his hair as he struggled to regain control of his
breathing. I felt the harsh, warm puffs of air hit my neck, his hands slipping
underneath me, up my back, hands coming up to hold my shoulders.
I could feel him starting to leak out of me, but didn't care. We stayed like
this for another few minutes until he lifted his head, kissed me, and started
to untie my wrists. When he pulls out of me, he leaves to go grab a warm
towel, taking his time cleaning me up, putting he soaked vibrator in the
bathroom.
I'm dozing off as he cleans it, grateful when he climbs into bed and pulls
me into his chest. I find my home in the crook of his neck as he inspects my
wrists. My arms and legs feel dead from the intense pleasure that had
exhausted my body, so I let him take his time, light kisses placed on the
skin. He turns on his side, so we're front to front, and lifts my chin up.
"You okay?" He asks softly, green eyes searching mine.
I nod, blinking up at him sleepily, "Feel good."
He breathes out a laugh, kissing me quickly, "Goodnight, Emma."
"Night, Harry." I reply, closing my eyes when he pulls the covers over us.
A few minutes of silence pass before I mumble out, "Be prepared for
Saturday, baby. Gonna pay you back for all the teasing you did tonight."
Chapter Thirty-Three

EMMA
What's wrong?"
I turn my head to Harry who's exiting his closet while I'm rifling through
my duffel bag for something to wear.
I groan, "Trying to find something that'll hide my wrists, but for some
reason I have no long sleeve anything."
He walks towards me, holding out his hand, so I take it with a pout. He
helps me stand, smirking, bringing my hand in front of his face. First he
places a kiss on the back of my hand, then on my wrist. They're still a little
red, only the smallest bit of bruising, but enough to where someone wold
notice.
"You can borrow one of my sweaters." He suggests.
"Really?" I ask, and he nods, a brilliant smile gracing his face.
He leads me into his closet, and starts shuffling through his sweaters. He
has a giant collection of them honestly, which made me giggle. He was
probably the only person on the planet who could truly pull them off, most
being grandpa style sweaters or cardigans. When he pulls out a black
sweater with colorful planets lining the top, I smile.
I quickly put it on, tucking the front into my jeans, and looked in the
mirror. It was definitely too big, and I'm sure most people could guess that
it was a men's sweater, but I didn't care.
†††
There was a knock on my classroom door as I was eating my lunch.
Looking up I frowned when I saw Jake sheepishly entering the room,
keeping the door wide open. Niall was serving as the lunch aide today,
watching over all the kids in the cafeteria, so I was eating by myself.
"What do you want?" I ask him plainly.
 He sends me a small smile, one which I don't return, and says, "I would
like to apologize."
Narrowing my eyes, I say, "Oh, really?"
"Look, I know you probably don't believe me-"
"You're right I don't. Now leave." I interrupt him easily.
He pursued his lips, "Seriously? You're not even going to try and hear me
out?"
"No, I'm not. For the first time in a really long time, I'm happy, and I
don't need you to mess that up for me." I say harshly.
"You're still with that Harry guy?" He sneers, suddenly shifting away
from the fake-ass smile he had on earlier. I roll my eyes, but he continues,
"You know he's-"
"Just going to leave me. I get it, Jake. You don't want me to date anyone
else, because you like the thought of me being miserable without you. I'm
over it, Jake, and if you keep harassing me then I'll go to the police, so leave
me alone."
He just glares at me as my words sink in. Stepping a little closer, he says
lowly, "Go to the police? You won't do that, Emma. Even with your new
boyfriend, who, by the way, is never going to love you, warping your brain
and telling you you need to do this shit, you won't. Because deep down
you're still the pathetic, scared girl I met years ago. You belong to me,
Emma, don't ever forget that."
I sigh, "Are you done?" His brows furrow as he looks at me, confused by
my reaction. "This is getting boring, quite honestly. Say what you want, but
you don't control me anymore." I gather my stuff and stand up. "Goodbye,
Jake. Remember to treat Lauren better than you ever did me, because she'll
leave your ass. She's a much stronger woman now than I was when I was
unfortunately with you."
With that I walk out of my classroom, walking to the cafeteria. I bought
some snacks, knowing my lunch was not big enough, because I skipped
breakfast. Niall waved me over as he leaned against the wall.
The rest of the day went by fast, Niall waiting at my door to walk out
with me.
"So, what exactly are you and Maura? Are you just dating or..." I ask him
as we pass the front office.
"Not sure. Haven't really talked about it, but we're just taking it slow. I
know neither of us are seeing anyone else, so that's all I care about right
now. Where are you parked?" He asks, surveying the parking lot.
It wasn't too big, because it was an elementary school, my car parked in
the far corner. I pointed to it, and he nods his head, turning to follow me. I
chuckle, "I think I can walk to my car, Niall."
"Promised Harry I would walk you to your car after school so you were
safe." Niall casually mentions, "Would anyways, but I'm pretty sure Harry
would kick my ass if you got hurt on my watch."
"Wait, what? Promised Harry?" I ask confused.
"Yeah, he cares about you, and wants to make sure you don't get hassled
by a certain ex of yours that just so happens to park next to your car almost
every day."
I furrow my brows, and look towards my car to see Jake slamming his
car door shut. He pulled out of the spot next to mine, glaring at the both of
us as her slowly drove past.
I smile at Niall, "He really asked that?" He nods, playfully rolling his
eyes at me. "That's so sweet."
"Yeah, well, he's sweet on ya." He says simply.
We drive separately to the bar, it now being our go-to Friday night
hangout place with our new friends. They didn't even feel like new friends,
greeting us as if we had always been apart of their group. It was interesting
being in a group of people that didn't judge me every second they got.
Everyone was so chill and kind, and they stood up for me when no one had
ever done that.
I truly loved them as people, and losing them would be just as bad as
losing Harry.
I looked around for Harry, seeing him at the bar talking to one of the
bartenders. I excuse myself and walk over to him.
"What are you doing over here?" I ask, leaning against the counter next
to him.
He looks over at me and smiles, eyes darting down to my sweater then
back to my eyes, "Letting Lu and Oli get comfortable touching each other
in front of people when I'm not around. Don't want to scare 'em too much."
I chuckle, "That's very sweet."
"I'm a sweet guy." He cheekily smirks.
"That I know."
"Oh?" He asks curiously.
 "Niall told me that you asked him to walk me to my car after work." I tell
him.
He blushes a bit, "Couldn't help it. Hate the fact that he's there with you
every day."
"Speaking of Jake..." I hesitantly start.
"What?" He asks me warily.
I bite my lip, hoping he won't completely freak out, "Niall was working
during lunch, so he came into my classroom to speak to me."
"And what did he have to say? More bullshit toxic lies?" He spews out
angrily.
"Yes," I say honestly, "Don't worry, I didn't believe anything he said, and
it doesn't effect me like it used to. I'm completely over him. Told him if he
doesn't stop harassing me then I'm going to the police."
He smiles softly at me, hand coming up midair before dropping down
quickly. I suspect he was going to cup my cheek, or tuck my hair behind my
ears, wishing he would've, but knew he would never dare do that in front of
everyone.
"How did he take that, angel?" He asked, and I was happily surprised that
he was keeping his temper in check.
I smile softly at my pet name, "Not particularly well. Said I belonged to
him-"
"What the fuck? He said that?" Now he was mad.
I sigh, "Yes, but he's not going to actually do anything-"
"And how do you know that for sure?" He asks me, eyes blazing down at
me, "Emma, he is... unstable. He could easily hurt you. He knows where
you live-"
"Harry, I'm with you most nights anyways, so I'm safe-"
"What if he tries to do something when I'm not there?"
"Do you think I would let him in my apartment? C'mon, I'm not an idiot."
I huff out.
"Of course you're not, Em, but what if he forces his way in-"
"Seriously? You can't keep thinking of all these crazy scenarios, Harry-"
"Why are you so insistent on not taking this seriously?" He fumes.
I pause at this, raising my eyebrows at him, "What?"
"I just- Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be possessive or controlling or
some shit, but I can't handle the thought of you getting hurt. He's already
done too much, and if he fucking touches you I'm going to kill him."
 I exhale a deep breath, deciding to calm down, "Oh, baby, I know you're
worried, and I know you're not trying to control me." I struggle to keep my
hands to myself. "He can't hurt me anymore." I say softly.
"But he can." He presses.
"And that's why I changed my locks and added a second one on my door.
That's why he can't contact me anymore. That's why you and Mike have
been teaching me how to defend myself. I even carry mace around in my
purse now. I promise you, Harry, I am protecting myself from him. I don't
want you to be constantly worried about my safety, because I am taking it
seriously. I know he can't hold his alcohol, and I know he gets mean and
angry when he's drunk. I know what he's capable of. Don't ever think I'm
just brushing it aside. It's just that I, for once in my life, want to be able to
protect myself. Baby, I love that you asked Niall to watch over me, and I
love how you make me feel safe when I'm with you, but I also need to feel
safe by myself, and that's never going to happen if you try and coddle me."
I know he's fighting with himself, but eventually he nods his head,
"Please, just... don't hesitate to call me if you need some help."
I smile at him, "Of course. You're number one on my speed dial."
He breathes out a laugh, "Think I would make an excellent sidekick."
"Oh, you in spandex? Yes." I tease.
He laughs loudly, his boisterous roar filling the whole bar. My face
warms as I feel eyes on us, but ignore everyone. He's looking at me so
fondly when he says, "I really want to kiss you now."
"I really want you to." I respond without thinking.
He swallows roughly, Adam's apple bobbing on his throat. He opens his
mouth to say something, but stops himself, eyes flickering to the side. My
stomach drops when I know he's looking at our friends, checking to see if
they are watching us.
I was so ready to throw caution to the wind, but he was still hesitant. That
was obvious. I thought back to the story of his ex, and how he fell out of
love with her so quickly, completely out of nowhere. I bite my lip, fidgeting
with my fingers. He looks back at me, eyes darting down to see my nervous
trick. The smallest of furrows hits his brows, but a second later his face is
blank, suggesting, "C'mon, let's go back to our friends."
†††
"Ready?"
My question rings through the room, Harry nodding quickly.
 I shake my head, "Need to hear your voice."
A soft smile crosses his face, "Yes, angel, I give my full consent."
I lean in for a kiss, both sets of handcuffs in my hand. It was just like
Thursday night except this time Harry was the one sprawled naked on the
bed. I carefully cuffed him to the bed post, him tugging to test out the
strength, and then I got my own toy out for us. I bought it a few days ago
after the shopping excursion with the girls.
Luckily, Harry had only thickened a little, not fully erect yet. I flashed
him the simple ring, clunkier than the one we used before, and watched as
he fidgeted his hips, eyes widening.
"Is this still okay?" I ask him.
"Yeah." He breathes out.
Little does he know that this one has an extra surprise.
I take hold of his dick, carefully slipping the ring all the way to his base.
When it settled around his base, I saw that more blood started to fill him up.
My eyes flashed up to his, "Want a striptease?"
His smile grows tenfold, almost blinding me with its brilliance. I shuffle
off the bed, and bring my hands - crossed over each other - to the hem of
Harry's shirt I'm wearing. I pull it off me quickly, no bra underneath, and
start playing with the band of sweats I have on. He's watching me hungrily,
body squirming in anticipation. Slowly, I pull my sweats off, leaving me in
just a pair of his boxers.
I smile devilishly, turning around and pushing the boxers down my legs. I
bend over giving him a view of another little surprise I have for him.
"Christ, angel..." Harry says behind me.
I stand up and turn around, walking towards the bed, and crawling over
him, "Do you like it?"
"Love it. When did you even put it in?" He asks, leaning up to try and
kiss me.
I pull away just enough, toying with him. Earlier in the day when Harry
was taking a call I had grabbed a butt plug from our collection, slathered it
in lube, and put it in me. The feeling was a little surreal, like a lot of
pressure was inside me. I had practiced putting one in a few days ago, so I
would know what I was doing.
"When you were on the phone." I tell him, sitting up, hands rubbing up
and down his chest.
 "That's where you went off to." He smirks, "Had it in all day, and I didn't
even know."
"Felt so good, baby. Especially when we were driving around. Nearly
came in the car, but I held it back, because I wanted to keep it a secret."
"You're really spoiling me tonight, aren't you." He practically growls.
"Thought you were meant to be torturing me?"
I smile devilishly, "We haven't even started yet..."
I heard the clang of him pulling at the cuffs, and decided to slink down
his body, lay on my stomach between his legs, my own legs in the air,
crossed. I stare at his hard cock, so pretty with a crown around his base. His
balls looked full and round, and I was so ready.
My hand came up to wrap around his length, pulling it towards my open
mouth. I sucked in his tip, tongue lapping at his slit and around the ridges of
his head. He moans in relief, but seconds turn into minutes, and I still
haven't moved down his length. He was leaking salty pre-cum into my
mouth, which I sucked up greedily, but I knew he wouldn't cum from just
this.
"Angel," he whines pitifully, "please, need more."
I popped off him, "Thought you wanted me to torture you."
He groans and his hips rut up, "Been too long."
I hum thoughtfully, "It has been a while... but you're forgetting I'm in
control tonight, so if I want to play with your tip for a full hour I will."
His dick twitches in front of me, and my mouth begins to water. He was
standing straight up, pulsing and ready for me, but I was going to take my
time just as he had. I kissed his thighs and hips, sucking a matching love
bite into his skin. I then brought my tongue to lick his balls and up his
length. My tongue pressed his cock onto his stomach as it made its way
along the prominent vein on his underside. When I got to the top, my
tongue massaging his frenulum, I saw that his cum had dripped onto his
stomach, as well, a light string connecting the pool of arousal to his tip.
It was too inviting for me not to end his misery, and wrap my lips around
him again. This time I slid down his length, taking him easily to the back of
my throat. I don't let him linger, though, slowly bobbing my head the full
length of his cock. His eyes are squeezed shut, mouth wide open as he
basks in the feeling of my mouth around him. He gasps and whines and
whimpers, and finally starts to squirm his hips underneath me.
 I've been at this pace for so long, way longer than I had ever taken to
bring him to his end. But I couldn't help but love the heavy feeling of him
in my mouth. I wanted to take this slow and explore every facet of him.
I wanted to know him as no one else had.
My jaw ached as the minutes went by, hand finally joining my mouth to
pleasure him. He was desperately trying to hold his hips down to the
mattress which I found endearing. He was letting me in full control of his
body.
I sped up my movement, knowing that especially with the cock ring that
he was going to need a lot more to cum. And I couldn't just leave him be.
I did what I know best, deepthroating him until he was gasping for air,
his salty cum leaking profusely now. His pleas didn't go unheard as I sped
up my pace. A few more minutes of this and he was finally cumming. My
mouth filled and I happily swallow, continuing to stroke and suck him
through his high. He barely softens in my mouth, and I think of not letting
up, but my jaw hurts and my lips feel tingly.
I pop off of him, and crawl back over his body. He accepts my kiss
gratefully, if not sloppily. He's obviously a little out of it, his orgasm taking
a lot out of him. It probably doesn't help that I'm distracting him by gliding
my heat up and down his erection. It didn't take him long to chub back up,
especially with how slick I was.
I smiled against his mouth, loving how he seemed to be completely
entranced with everything. I heard him struggle slightly against his
restraints, so I quietly shushed him, "It's okay, baby. I'm gonna take care of
you."
I shifted, pulling myself up, hand coming underneath to place him at my
opening. I sunk down smoothly, all the way until I could feel the ring
around his base.
He curses, "Angel, yes, baby, oh god!"
I stay seated on him, leaning over to the nightstand where a remote
control is. His eyes blink open, hazy and green, brows furrowing when he
sees the little device. He doesn't need to ask me what it is, because I'm
pressing the button.
"Fuck, oh-!" He cries out, eyes screwing shut and back arching.
I had gotten us a vibrating cock ring.
The parallels of our two nights were astounding, considering I had
bought us this earlier in the week, and he had planned Thursday out without
me knowing. This time both of us got to experience the sensation.
I collapsed on his chest while he started to twitch his hips into me. It was
the smallest of movements, but one that was making me shake. I had been
so primed for him, taking so long giving him a proper blowjob that I was
pulsating with need just as bad as he was. I was seated so deeply on him
that my clit was directly next to the thick ring around him.
I bit down on his shoulder as I spasmed around his cock, the shock waves
rolling through me so incredibly intense. My hips moved on their own,
swiveling jerkily around him, so I could get more stimulation from him and
our toy.
"That's right, Emma, get what you need. Oh god!" I could tell the
vibration was getting to him, as his arms tensed up, and head pushed back
into the pillow.
"Feel good?" I asked breathlessly.
He's nodding mindlessly, "So, so good. Love it when you take control
like this. Love it when you use me for your own pleasure." I'm so close,
rubbing against him harder. "Love when you play with our toys. Love, love,
love..."
He doesn't even seem to realize what he's saying, but it's making my
heart hammer in my chest. My fingers comb through his hair, gripping it as
my orgasm slips through, coursing through my body violently.
I cry out his name, letting it consume me, but my body doesn't stop. it's
like it has a mind of its own as I start to grind harder. And once my first
orgasm subsides, I sit up, knowing it's my job to take care of us tonight, so I
start bouncing on him while the cock ring is turned up.
Harry's face scrunches up, gasping for air desperately. He's mumbling
words I can't hear, but opening his eyes to watch me fuck him. They flicker
all of my body, from my own eyes, to my bouncing chest, to where he's
disappearing inside me. I'm sure my thighs are glistening from both of our
cum and arousal.
He's mesmerized by me, green eyes now holding onto mine. We don't
waver in our eye contact, instead holding onto each other fiercely. My
hands are pressed against his chest, holding me up as we move together.
Skin slapping, and slick sounds fill the air around us, joining the heavy
breathing coming from both of us.
The feeling of his cock slipping in and out, moving against the toy in my
other hole, the vibration up and down his length was a sensation I had never
experienced. It was like it had consumed my whole being, and it had clearly
consumed Harry.
As we simultaneously hit our highs, my walls clamping tight around him,
and him coating me in his cum, I saw how utterly fucked he truly was. I had
never seen his face in such ecstasy, arms fighting the handcuffs roughly, and
hips twitching. He let out strangled moans, and his eyes had closed.
My high subsided quicker than his, so I lowered myself down, and petted
his hair, grazing his cheekbones and jaw with my fingers. I watched him
curiously as he seemed to drift in and out of an aware state. He whispered
something I couldn't tell, and I thought maybe, just maybe, he had gone into
his subspace. I wasn't sure if that was possible for him, but he looked how I
had felt those times that I had been there.
I lift up, so that we aren't connected anymore, Harry's cum dripping out
of me. I clench and run to the bathroom to wipe myself up, and wet a towel
to clean him up. We're both sweaty, so afterwards I decide to draw us a bath
as is tradition now, filling it with bubbles this time. I light a vanilla scented
candle, knowing it's his favorite, and coax him to the bathroom.
I got in first, so he could lay on me. His hair tickled my chin as we sat in
silence, my arms over his shoulders and down his chest, grazing up and
down his skin. He was still out of it, half asleep when I heard him say
something that made my heart stop and body go rigid.
"Love you."
Chapter Thirty-Four

HARRY
I woke up in a daze, soft touches to my face. With my eyes still closed, I
felt a smile begin to form on my face. A light graze of a finger made its way
down to my bottom lip to trace it.
I loved this. I loved the feeling of waking up next to her. Knowing before
I was even fully awake that she was there.
Slowly, I blinked open my eyes, focusing in on her icy blue ones. They
really were so captivating. I've never seen eyes like hers, ones that keep
your attention so easily. I could just look at them all day. I could look at her
all day.
There was something about her in the mornings. The sleepiness in her
eyes, the way her cheek got all pink from sleeping on it. The innocence that
shown through her. Not a shed of makeup, and it didn't matter. And her
lips... God, her lips were perfect. Full and plump, the faintest pink that
made them look delicate but sultry.
A slow, sweet smile crossed them, her hand tucking a few stray strands of
hair behind my ear, then resting in the crook below it, thumb rubbing my
jaw softly.
"Morning." She says quietly.
My smile widened, loving the sound of her voice in the morning. It had
always sent goosebumps up and down my body, but the added lowness, and
slight gravel really did me in.
"Morning, angel." I respond just as quietly, wanting to keep the mood
between us as long as possible. "You been watching me sleep?"
She breathes out a laugh, eyes closing momentarily before finding mine
again, "Can't help it. You're just too pretty."
I was full on grinning now, "Yeah? You think I'm pretty."
"So pretty." She teases.
 I scoot a little closer to her, my hand sneaking up the over-sized shirt she
had on, rubbing up and down her back. "I think you're pretty, too."
"Why, thank you. Very sweet." She mumbles, closing her eyes as she
rests her head closer to mine. Her hand mindlessly moves to my hair,
burying her fingers in there as if it's their home.
We stayed in silence for a while longer, enjoying the laziness of the
morning. Sundays were always my favorite day to wake up next to Emma.
There was absolutely nothing for us to do until later in the evening, so we
could've stayed in bed for hours. We were usually up pretty late the night
before, anyways, so our tired eyes won out most times.
I reveled in our closeness, her body heat welcoming on my bare skin. She
was only in one of my old shirts, and a pair of my boxers. She had
somehow dressed me in a pair of underwear, as well.
"Do you remember much from last night? You were kind of out of it..."
Her voice rings through the silence.
I open my eyes again, "I remember most of it, I think. It felt... different."
"I think you went into your subspace." She says.
I blinked, "Really? I didn't think I would be able to go into one."
"What did it feel like?" Emma asks softly.
"Um, like I was buzzing?" I say more as a question, not sure how to
describe the sensation I felt last night, "It was like for the first time in my
life everything was just gone. Except you. Nothing was racing through my
head. I wasn't worried about anything, or carrying any stress from the day.
It was just you."
She nodded slowly, "That's how I felt. Really light, and everything was
very hazy afterwards."
"It was amazing, Em. Felt good giving you that control." I admit.
She smiles softly, "Don't be afraid to ask me, if you need that again,
okay?"
"Might be asking for it all the time. It's like a drug." I joke.
She laughs, "I know." She pauses for a second before continuing, "Do
you remember anything afterwards? Before we went to bed?"
"Um," I think back to last night, "not much. Everything's a little fuzzy.
Did we take a bath?"
Her eyes are watching me closely, a slight blush on her cheeks, "Yeah."
"Why? Did I do something weird?" I ask.
 She breathes out a laugh, but she looks down, "No, just wondering. You
were a little loopy."
I just nod, and we fall into silence once more this time falling asleep.
When I wake up, I'm alone, but I can smell bacon. I smile thinking of how
she looks cooking in my kitchen. I wonder if she put clothes on, or is still
just in my boxers and shirt. I hoped it was the latter.
I got out of bed, pulling on some sweats, and headed downstairs. I could
hear a podcast playing in the background, something about the news, and
turned the corner to be rewarded with the sight of Emma cooking breakfast,
shirt reaching the end of her butt, my boxers peaking out from under it.
Her head turned, smiling when she saw me, "Good morning, again."
I breathed out a laugh, "Want some help?"
"Sure."
When breakfast was done, we sat on the couch eating, turning on some
show. We barely watched it, instead talking about our trip. I could see how
excited she was when talking about it. I'm not sure she's ever treated herself
to something like this. She was always working so hard, saving money for
the future.
Eventually, we ended up lying on the couch watching a movie. Her cheek
rested against my chest, leg over mine, and arms hugging me. I had pulled a
blanket on top of us to keep us warm, her toes wiggling every once in while
against my ankle.
Her phone was buzzing on the table, so I reached over to grab it. She
took it, a small groan grumbling from her.
"Everything okay?" I ask her.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, my mom is just annoying sometimes."
I laugh, "What's going on?"
"Well, I, uh..." She starts awkwardly, making me look down at her, "I let
it slip that you and I were going away next weekend."
"Oh?" I didn't dare say anything else, wondering what this could mean.
She looks away, nodding, "Yeah, don't know how she does it. Gets every
bit of information out of me without really even trying."
I smiled, "Mum's the same. What's she bugging you about then?"
"She keeps asking what's going on between us, and I don't know what to
say. Can't really tell her we're friends with benefits." She trails off, still not
looking at me.
 My heart hurts at those words. I don't want that. I don't want to be just
fuck buddies. I want her to tell her mom about me, gush about our trip, and
I want to be able to tell my parents I'm seeing someone. I want to spend
every night with her, and go on holidays with her. I want to be able to touch
her while we're out with friends. I'm sick of hiding that itch when she's a
table away from me. The image of me pulling her into my lap in front of
everyone pops into my mind, and I can't hold it in any longer.
"Is that all we are?"
She stills in my arms, her breath hitching. I don't dare move, my eyes on
her anxiously.
"Friends with benefits?" She asks hesitantly.
"Yeah," I clear my throat, "is that all we are?"
"Is that all you want to be?" She shoots back, refusing to pick her head
up.
It's driving me crazy not seeing her, not being able to read her eyes, but I
can't push this too far. I knew I could be risking everything, but I needed to
know.
"I asked you first."
At this she huffed out a laugh, burying her face more into my chest,
"Why is this so difficult?" She mumbles.
"What do you mean?" I ask quickly.
She finally lifts up, resting her chin on my chest. I couldn't breathe as she
says, "To admit it."
My eyes soften, "To admit we're more?"
She bites her bottom lip and nods. My hand comes up to comb her hair
back, "Darling, we both know."
It was clear she had the same fears as me. We were both scared it was too
much too fast. That the other wouldn't be ready for something serious. It
was scary, terrifying really to feel like we were walking on a tightrope. Like
it could snap at any moment.
"So..." Emma starts, eyes anxious as they stare into mine, "we're not just
friends with benefits?"
I shake my head slowly, "That's not what I want to be."
"What do you want to be?" She asks, turning the table on me.
I swallow my nerves, "Maybe we should take it slow. Just date for a
while?"
"That sounds good." She agrees, cheeks turning pink, "No pressure."
 I nod, hand cupping her cheek, "Should we tell people?"
Immediately, I see the fear flash in her eyes. It doesn't stay for long, but it
was clear as day for me to know the answer. "We don't have to. We can
keep this on the down-low. Take it step by step."
She chews nervously on her lips, taking a moment to say, "Are you okay
with that?"
This time I smile at her, "Emma, I'm perfectly fine with that. We can take
this at our own pace."
"So, does that mean we're... dating?" She asks.
My smile sneaks up on me, liking the way that sounds, "Are you okay
with that?"
She bursts out laughing, "We really are having a hard time, aren't we?"
I huff out a laugh as well, "Just don't want to scare you away, angel."
Her eyes soften, turning a bit sad as well. She takes my hand that's
cupping her face, and brings my palm to her lips, a soft kiss pressed against
it. My heart stutters at the small action, her stunning eyes never leaving
mine.
"Harry, you're not going to scare me away, I promise." She assures me.
My heart is beating rapidly in my chest as I nod, "Okay, then, yes, I
would like to officially date you."
She smirks and teases, "So formal."
I roll my eyes, "C'mere."
I pull her up more on my body until she's directly looking down at me.
My fingers comb through the back of her hair, bringing her down to meet
my lips. It feels the same to kiss her as it did before, because nothing's
really changed. Except now I can call her mine. Casually mine, but still
mine.
Her lips welcomed mine, tongue stroking playfully and passionately. My
heart was hammering in my chest, feeling her like this. It never stopped. It
never got old. It was comforting and hot and felt like home.
My arms held her close to my body, her foot moving up and down my
leg. When my hand slipped up the back of her shirt to feel her skin, she
giggled against my mouth.
A smile crossed mine, separating for just a moment to mumble out a
quiet, "What?"
"It's just.." She leans down to kiss me again, pulling back too quickly,
"this feels an awful like friends with benefits."
 I smirk, "Difference is," I nose at her, grazing her lips with mine, "this
doesn't have to lead anywhere."
Her lips curve upwards before we kiss again, this time slower and lazier.
We kiss for hours, stopping to catch our breaths, mini conversations in-
between. She's practically on top of me, but I love it. I love the pressure of
her body against mine, and when she has to leave, I pout and paw at her to
try and keep her with me until she reminds me of my plans with Mike.
I don't know how I'll be able to hide my happiness from anyone. Mike's
going to know right away that something's different. But I just can't hold
back my smile when I'm saying goodbye to my angel, hers beaming up at
me.
†††
I was leaning up against my car in Emma's apartments parking lot,
waiting for her to arrive home from work. It was Thursday, and we were
supposed to head off to the resort in a few hours. I had spent a lot of time
this week working, making sure I was good to take Friday off before
officially going on holiday. I had gotten so much done that I was able to
leave early today, deciding just to head over to Emma's and help her pack.
I was surprised at how calm I had been all week. Even though I had
worked extra hours, I didn't feel that build up of anxiety I usually did.
Maybe it was because I was working for the goal of being with Emma, or
maybe it was the fact that she would call me twice a night. Once before she
met Mike at the gym for more self-defense lessons - and one spin class she
talked him in to - and the second when she got home.
It was clear she was checking up on me to make sure I wasn't having
another anxiety attack. I secretly loved it. I loved the thought that she
wanted to take care of me, that she was thinking of me throughout the day.
But because of my schedule, I hadn't been able to see her since Sunday. It
had been nearly four days since we got to the dating stage of our
relationship, and we hadn't even been able to enjoy it. We talked of course,
texting throughout the day when either of us had a moments time, and
always ended up talking for hours during that second call.
It was easy, like it should be, but I missed her.
I kept myself bundled up in my coat, the brisk air, biting as the wind
blows in my direction. I perk up when I see her familiar car turn in to the
apartment complex. I smile as she sees me, brows furrowing, but flashing
me a bright grin.
 Walking over to her, I pull the car door open as she unbuckles, asking,
"What are you doing here?"
I hold my hand out to help her out of the car, "Thought I'd surprise you.
Got all my work done, so I was able to leave early."
"Look at you..." She teased, arms circling my waist.
I couldn't help the shit-eating grin that formed on my face, the proud glint
in her eyes making my heart stutter. I just shrug, making her chuckle.
"I missed you." I admit.
Her head tilts, looking at me so softly, and she rises on her toes until she's
a moment away from kissing me, murmuring out, "I missed you, too."
And then I got my kiss. Sweet and simple, not lasting long enough, but
somehow exactly what I needed.
Fuck, I was so soft for her.
We separated from each other, grabbing her bag from her passenger side,
and followed her upstairs. Her little apartment was as cozy as ever, loving
the way it felt like her. I put her stuff down on her counter, her hand
grabbing mine, and leading me down to her bathroom.
"We still have a few hours before we need to leave. Want to join me in
the shower?" She asks innocently.
I cock an eyebrow, "Take a shower, huh? Trying to get into my pants?"
"Trying to get you out of your pants."
Her hands were already working my belt, coat slung over a chair back in
the living room. I took a spare hair tie on her counter and put her hair in a
bun. When I was done, pants on the floor, her fingers working on my button
up shirt, she looked up at me, smiling widely, "Love it when you do that."
My own grin widened, "Yeah?" She nods almost sheepishly, pushing my
open shirt off my shoulders. "Love it when you do that."
She snorted, lifting her shirt off her torso. I turn on the shower, adjusted
the water while she strips off her clothes and makeup. It's fascinating to
watch her completely disarm herself in front of me, naked in every way.
The redness in her face from scrubbing off her foundation cute and the
curves of her body enticing, but it's her confidence and how comfortable
she is with me seeing her like this that is really stunning.
She steps in, and I pull my boxer-briefs down my legs, joining her
quickly after. The first thing she does is hug me, her naked, wet body
pressed into mine. It doesn't feel sexual, though. It just feels like us taking a
moment to enjoy each other.
 I wash her body first, covering my hands in my favorite vanilla scented
body wash, and lathering them over her smooth skin. I playfully squeeze he
butt cheeks when she least expects it, causing her to squeal, nearly falling
over. I grab onto her quickly, trying to hold back my laughter, but failing
miserably. She slaps my chest lightly, turning around, laughing at herself.
Stepping under the water, the soap glides down her shiny, soft skin,
mesmerizing me. She sent me a knowing look, wetting her hair, and picking
up a bottle of shampoo. I pout taking it from her quickly, wanting to wash
her hair myself. She rolls her eyes, turning her back to me, so I can start. I
focus on massaging her scalp, earning a few gratified moans.
"Angel..." I warn her.
She laughs, burying her face in her hands. God, she's so cute.
"You're so cute."
She turns her head to look at me, an almost embarrassed smile on her
lips. I lean forward and kiss her, innocent in nature. For some reason, I don't
want this to turn hot and heavy. I just want to enjoy her, make her laugh and
smile.
I relish in the feeling of her hands on my own body, loving how she takes
her time, eyes devouring my skin. I nearly give in to my urges, but hold
back enough. We could wait until tonight in the little cottage.
I laid on her bed on my stomach, hair wrapped up in a towel, butt naked
as she packed her bag for the weekend. I watched in fascination as she
picked out so many clothes even though we were only going to be there for
three full days.
"Bring a dress." I tell her.
She looks over at me from her little closet, "Why? It's freezing."
"Because I made a reservation at the main lodge in their fancy
restaurant."
She turns around, hiding her obvious smile, and plucks out a simple
black dress. I try and get a better look at it, but she's folded it up and asked
it away quickly. At one point she leaves for a minute or two, coming back
with an extra bag, explaining, "I packed some of our bath stuff we like. I
assumed there was going to be a tub, and I thought we might use it."
I smile widely, "That's a great idea, angel." She sets it down, and I lean
up onto my elbows, "C'mere."
She glances at me, standing up, and shuffling onto the bed, "Hmm? What
did you want?"
 "To tell you how excited I am for this weekend, and thank you for letting
me spoil you."
Emma breathed out a laugh, "Is that all?"
"And to kiss you."
†††
The drive there was going to be the first test. It was several hours of
driving, hitting traffic on the way. There were some people you just couldn't
do long trips with, but, of course, Emma was not one of them. She kept me
entertained, and we even got into a playful debate about music.
Every time I learned something more about her, the further I fell. It was
helpless to fight it at the point, every dry joke that made me laugh bringing
me closer to confessing my feelings.
I still didn't want to scare her away, and, quite honestly, the intensity of
my feelings were kind of scaring me. It's like I didn't want to admit I was in
love with her, but I knew it was a lie. By saying it out loud, or just thinking
it, meant there was no going back, and if she did run - even though she
promised she wouldn't - it would break me.
That was terrifying. That she held my happiness and future in her delicate
hands. But to be fair, I wasn't happy and didn't have a clear future before
her. She gifted those things to me.
I think maybe even deep down, I wasn't sure I was ready either. To be
that in love. The type of love that's written about in books, and made in to
movies. The all consuming love that can either mend you or break you.
I trusted Emma, though. I trusted her to take care of me on levels I never
thought were possible. She knows me better than any single person in my
life, so how could I not fall in love with her.
It was weird to realize this as she sat next to me in the car, somehow on
the most adorable tangent about wildlife in the Amazon Rainforest, and the
poachers or hunters that travelled there. She was so passionate about it, the
fire in her eyes alluring to me. She really was everything.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks when I gaze at her for
far too long at a red light.
I blink, looking back towards the road, following the GPS, "What?"
"You were looking at me weird." She presses.
"No, I wasn't." I chuckled.
"Yes, you were." Emma insists, "Had this... gleam in your eyes."
I smile and shrug, "I'm just really happy, Em."
 We made brief eye contact before I pulled into a private stretch of land.
There was an electricity between us today, one that blew my breath away,
and it clearly had the same effect on her.
Now she was looking at me in a weird way. I swallowed down my next
words, and paid attention to where I was driving.
There was snow on the ground, nothing too crazy, but enough for me to
slow down. I slowed to a stop at the entrance, checking in to a security
guard. I hand him my ID, and wait for him to approve us. He gives us
directions, and a welcome packet that had our house number and security
code in it. I give it to Emma, and she looks through it while I travel down a
twisty road.
It's already pretty dark, so no one is out. I do see smoke coming out of
various chimneys, and lights still on in every house. With Emma's help we
track down our own cottage. It's at the end of a cul-de-sac, one-story like
the ones next to it. Emma practically jumped out when I parked, zipping up
her winter coat, and crunching her feet up to the front door.
I chuckle, deciding to get our bags from the trunk, one on each shoulder.
When I got up to the door, I saw that she had put in our code, a nifty alarm
system used instead of a traditional key, and went inside. I shuffled in after
her to find her in the main room.
It was an open floor plan, living room and kitchen in the same area, a
little hallway leading to the one bedroom, bath presumably inside it. Emma
spun around, a bright smile on her face, faltering a bit when she saw our
bags hanging off my shoulders.
"Harry, I could've helped you! Thought we were gonna check the place
out first." She pouts.
I breathe out a laugh, placing the duffels on the ground, and walking
closer to her, "Don't worry. Just figured I would bring them in now in case
we get too caught up in everything. This place is pretty cool, isn't it?"
She steps in further, inspecting the fireplace, dry logs and tinder wood
neatly stacked in an open cupboard next to it. I glanced around to see a
seven foot Christmas Tree decorated with an angel on the top. I smile to
myself, opening up my bag, and plucking out a wrapped box. She narrows
her eyes, but watches as I place her present underneath the tree next to the
cozy looking couch.
"What?" I ask innocently.
 "I thought you said this holiday was my present. You weren't supposed to
get me anything else!" She complains stubbornly.
I make my way to her, cupping both of her rosy cheeks, "I'm sorry, angel.
Bought them before I suggested our little getaway. Will you forgive me?"
She purses her lips, holding back her smile, "I guess. I got you a few
presents anyways."
"Angel," I sigh, "you didn't have to-"
"Don't start with me, Harry." She says firmly, pecking my lips, and
making her way to her purse, pulling out two smaller boxes, and then
fishing a bigger one out of her duffel.
"How did you sneak that in without me noticing?" I ask.
She laughs, giving me a smug look, "I'm very stealthy."
I bite my lip, shaking my head as she places my presents next to hers.
She then reaches over to plug in the tree, lighting up the space.
"There, much better." She stands back up, crossing her arms to keep
herself warm.
"How about I start the fire for us. You check the kitchen for any snacks
left over from anyone else, maybe some hot coco?" I suggest, "We can open
our gifts on Sunday night. Make us wait in anticipation like we did when
we were kids."
Emma smiles at me, "Sounds good."
The rest of our night was quiet. Emma had found some hot coco, and
semi-stale marshmallows for us to sip on by the fire. It warmed the cozy
cottage up quickly, both of us changing into our PJ's. For the first time, I
saw Emma put on a cute flannel set.
"When did you get these?" I ask, pulling at her sleeve before pulling on a
jumper.
"I've always had them. You've just never seen them, because I'm either
naked or wearing your clothes." She jokes.
"I guess that's true." I say, sitting down, and pulling her onto my lap.
She happily straddles my hips, burying her face in my neck. The soft
fabric feels good as I glide my hands all over her. "I like them. You can
wear them anytime at my place."
"No more rule number one?"
"No more rules, angel." I answer her muffled question, "Want to properly
date you. Can't have stupid rules limiting us. I won't stop you from walking
around naked, though."
 She laughs, her breath felt against my hot skin. It was another moment
before she says, "I'm really happy, too, Harry."
Chapter Thirty-Five

HARRY
"Why is it so early?" Emma grumbles, curling herself more into me.
She had fallen asleep on me on the couch last night, so I had carried her
to the bedroom. It was pretty simple, bed against the middle of the back
wall, dresser and nightstand, door off to the side for the bathroom. I had
fallen asleep almost instantly, pulling her back to my chest, and cuddling
my face to her neck.
I chuckled, "Not even that early. It's like nine."
"Feels earlier." I barely heard her as she was talking into my chest,
making me grin.
Surprising her, I whip off the blanket, and spin her around until she's on
her back and I'm hovering over her.
"No!" She yells playfully.
I laugh, lowering myself to her body, keeping her somewhat warm. "How
about we take a warm shower, wake you up, and then go for a walk around
the neighborhood to see what's going on around here. Can't waste any time,
angel. We're only here for three days."
"But we're on holiday! We're supposed to sleep in." She pouts.
I smile down at her, "We'll sleep in tomorrow, I promise."
I coax her into the bathroom, turning the shower on while she brushes her
teeth, making sure the water is nice and hot for her. I hold her hand as she
gets in, chuckling when she sighs at the feeling of the warm water, and I
brush my teeth. We wash off lazily, spending more time kissing and letting
our hands wander, then actually cleaning ourselves.
It's so easy with her. I loved how nothing seemed to change between us
going from something like fuck buddies to dating. I guess we weren't really
sticking to the normal friends with benefits anyways, so it wasn't much of a
difference.
 When we were done, we wrapped ourselves in the complimentary robes
they gave us, and I waited for her to put on her makeup. I texted Mike, who
was covering some of my work, to see how he was doing. He didn't have
much to do, because I had done the heavy lifting, and I had explained which
reports he needed to input and send off to our boss while avoiding his
questions about my getaway.
Everyone had been very curious as to where I was going this weekend,
but luckily it seemed as though they didn't expect Emma. Honestly, I
wouldn't have minded if they knew, but from Emma's reaction last weekend
it was obvious she didn't want to cross that line just yet.
I had coffee made for us, changing into some warm clothes. It wasn't
snowing, but it was pretty frigid outside. I smiled when she rounded the
corner, a cute knitted hat with a fluffy ball on top, long heavy winter coat,
and mittens on her hands. Her hair was braided to the side, and she had put
on just a light layer of makeup, making her look fresh and still a little
sleepy.
She shuffled over to me, smiling wide, "I like this." She motions towards
my beanie, little curls coming out of the bottom.
"Thanks, want to head out?" I ask, handing her a thermos of hot coffee.
She nodded, "Can't believe you talked me in to taking a walk when it's
below zero."
I laugh, stepping outside, my own coffee in my hand, "It is not below
zero."
"Close enough." She shoots back, but leads the way down the path to the
street.
We had looked over the pamphlets, and saw that there was a nature
conservatory close to our cottage. I was surprised to see so many people out
and about since it was so cold, but it looked like the whole resort was out.
Some were even riding bikes, families with kids bundled up in fluffy snow
coats.
I saw Emma's eyes light up at one little boy in particular with giant
glasses, barely able to walk because he had so many layers on.
"Oh my god, he's so cute." She gushes, hand grabbing onto my forearm.
"He looks just like one of my kids."
I smile, loving how she refers her to students as her kids, "What's it like
teaching a whole bunch of kids? Does it ever get to be too much."
 "Oh, sometimes they piss me right the fuck off." She answers
immediately, making me laugh. "But they're also so sweet. I love to watch
them figure things out. How lost they seem and then suddenly," she snaps
her fingers, "it just clicks. I love being apart of that."
"I bet you're an amazing teacher." I tell her sincerely, "You would love
my nieces and nephews."
"How many do you have?" She asks me.
"Oh, geez, so many. It's like a circus over the holidays." I joke, "My
brother, Jason, and his wife, Toni, have three kids. The eldest is Jackson,
then Sophie and Marley - they were the ones in that picture I sent you a few
weeks ago. My older sister, Rebecca, and her wife, Chloe, have four kids."
"Are they adopted?"
"The twins are." I answer, "They're the oldest, Matthew and Eleanor.
Seven years old, and have been with them for four years now."
"But they have two other kids?" She asks curiously.
I nod, "Yeah, Chloe had their first kid. Used a sperm donor that they
vetted intensely. He's five, and then Rebecca had their daughter, Carter, two
years ago."
"Do you have a picture of all of them?"
"Yeah," I smile, stopping us at a little bridge we were crossing, and leant
against the railing, fishing out my phone, "Probably have too many photos
considering they aren't my kids."
"They kind of are." She says, hooking her arm with mine, and leaning her
cheek against my shoulder. "They're your family and you love them. If I
had brothers and sister with little ones, I would be showing everyone their
pictures."
I breathe out a laugh, finding an old Instagram photo of me, Lu, and all
the kids at the zoo. "We took this last summer."
"That's so cute!" She gushed, "So that's Sophie and Marley..." She lists
off, waiting for me top point everyone else out.
We stay where we are for the next half hour chatting about my family.
She asks me question after question, intrigued by how big it was, and I
found it so endearing. I couldn't help but start to picture her at my parents
house, playing with the kids, drinking wine with Rebecca and my mom.
She belonged there. With me.
"Just wait until you meet them. They're going to be crawling all over
you." I tell her, stuffing my phone back in my pocket.
 She doesn't say anything, just bites her lip, trying to hide her big smile.
She looks down, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers, "C'mon." She
says softly.
"You're cute when you blush." I tease, following her easily.
She playfully glares at me, about to say something when a woman about
our age came up to us, "Excuse me, do you mind taking me and my
boyfriend's picture?"
"Yeah, of course." I say easily, following her over to a little gazebo.
They pose together, and I snap a few pictures for them when they ask,
"Do you want us to take yours?"
I looked at Emma whose blue eyes were already on mine. We had a silent
conversation, I think both of us realizing that we didn't have any pictures of
each other. The only pictures I had were the ones of her in her lingerie.
She shrugs, tilting her head, so I turn back to the couple who was
watching us curiously, and said, "Uh, yeah, that would be great."
The girl gave us a big toothy grin, taking back her phone, and holding her
hand out for mine.
"Why don't you two stand over there?" She suggests, pointing back to the
bridge, a delicate archway at the entrance.
"Uh, sure..." I take Emma's hand and lead her to the spot, pulling her
body in front of me, and hugging her waist. Her gloved hands squeeze my
forearms, and I smile even wider.
"I'm going to take a whole bunch, so be ready." The girl tells us.
She wasn't lying. The girl took a ton of pictures, switching up the angle,
and suggesting a different pose. It was kind of funny, and I saw Emma
holding in a laugh. Her boyfriend finally chuckled and took my phone away
from her ending our impromptu photo shoot.
"Sorry about her. She gets a little too into photography." He tells me,
giving me back my phone.
I grin, "That's fine. I into photography too."
"You are?" She asks, "Sorry, my name is Sarah. This is Mitch."
"Harry, and this is my-" I widen my eyes and look at Emma, sputtering
out, "E-emma."
I scrunch up my face, but Emma just snorts, reaching her hand out to
shake with them, "It's nice to meet you."
Sarah is smirking, "Nice to meet you two, too."
"You guys been here all week, or...?" Mitch asks.
 "Drove in last night." I say after clearing my throat, trying to get over my
embarrassment.
Mitch nods his head, "First time here?"
"Yeah, this place is so cute." Emma says with a smile.
"You should see it in the summer." Sarah says excitedly, "We come twice
a year, and it's astoundingly pretty when the trees are in bloom."
Emma looks up at me, and I can see in her eyes how badly she wants to
see that, making a mental note to book another weekend in the summer for
us.
"Right through this path over here, you can find this big field that
everyone takes their dog to. And if you keep walking down this pathway,
you'll eventually come out to the village. Have you guys been there yet?"
We continue to talk with them, learning that they've spent the last four
winters here, renting it out before they go to their families for the holidays
up in Wales. Apparently, they have a pretty crazy family, and need the time
to get away.
They ask us questions about us, which both Emma and I fabricate about
how we met. They didn't need to know about everything. That was one
thing we were going to have to get used to: telling people how we met. That
was, if she ever wanted to tell anyone.
I hoped this stage wouldn't last long between us. We were dating, but not
boyfriend and girlfriend. I wanted to be able to introduce her as my
girlfriend, like I went to earlier. I wanted to hear her call me her boyfriend,
the thought cracking a smile on my face.
I enjoyed Mitch and Sarah's company. They were super friendly, not
seeming to care that they had divulged some rather personal information to
us, but Sarah admitted that most couples around here were older and retired,
anyone their age bringing their family, so they had never had someone they
could relate to like us.
It didn't surprise me, seeing the numerous grey-haired couples, some with
cute walking sticks, passing us as we ambled around a curve to circle back
around the main entrance. There were children running past us, dogs on
leashes, and even one cat on a leash which made Emma's eyes light up in
humor.
"It was great getting to talk to you guys!" Sarah says as we reach the end,
"We're here every morning if you guys want to join us tomorrow?"
 "We'd love to." Emma says immediately. I could tell she was happy to
make an acquaintance, and I was struck again by how crazy it was that she
didn't have more friends. I brush off the annoyance of her old friends - or
really Jake's friends. She was just so kind and funny that I couldn't believe
she didn't have her own people, besides Millie, of course. I was grateful
how welcoming my friends had been to her, initiating her into the group
that first time they met.
"What should we do now?" She asks me when we get back to the cottage.
"Well," I dry my hands off after I wash out our coffee cups, "why don't
we go to the grocery store? We can stock up with some essentials, maybe
get some stuff to cook tonight. I kind of wanted to have another quiet night
in with you."
She flashes her brilliant smile at me, "Sounds perfect!"
†††
"I feel like this is our first real test."
I turn to Emma, amusement in my eyes, "Yeah?"
She nods seriously, "Yes. Make or break."
I hum, "Well, this is a really serious decision."
"Exactly, now it's decision time." She turns her body to face me, holding
up two bags of chips, "Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch?"
I narrow my eyes, looking between the two, "I think it's a trick question.
Sweet and Spicy." I pick up the purple bag, waiting for her consensus.
She's silent for a moment before saying, "You've passed the test."
I grin widely, throwing the bag into our basket, "What do you want for
dinner?"
"Oh! There was this recipe I wanted to try out before making it for
Millie. It's a lemon chicken with couscous and veggies. How does that
sound?" Emma asks excitedly.
"That actually sounds so good." I tell her, "Where do you get your
recipes?"
"Some from my mom, and others from food blogs I've been reading for
years."
"I think it's really great that you take care of Millie so much."
She sends me a small smile as we walk up and down the aisles, "She's
like a sister to me."
"I can see that. She's lucky to have you." She blushes under my
compliment, immediately changing the subject.
 "Did you see that ice skating rink we passed on the way here?"
I nod, "Yeah, you want to check it out?"
She shrugs, picking out a good chicken breast, "We still have a while
before dinner times. We could drop this stuff off at the cottage, and then
come back? If you want." She adds quickly.
"I think that sounds great." It actually sounded like a lot of fun. It would
also give me a reason to touch her, hold her hand, maybe save her from
falling.
†††
It turned out she would be the one saving me from falling.
Emma was a very good skater, looking like it was natural to be on these
death shoes. My ankles hurt, trying to keep me up. I had knocked my knee
into the side board, and nearly cracked my head open the second I touched
the ice.
"How are you so good?" I ask her, as she skated backwards, hands
holding out so I can grab hers.
She laughs, blue eyes twinkling, "I lived close to a pond that froze over
every winter. I skated in my free time, which I had a lot of when I was a
kid. It's been a really long time since I've been back on the ice, though."
"Well, thank god for you, or I would be dead the second I stepping in the
rink." I grumbled, nearly slipping again, but she tightened her hold and kept
me upright.
Giggling she asks, "We can leave if you want."
I shake my head immediately, "No, can you teach me? Like what am I
doing wrong?"
She smirks, "Well, your ankles are weak. They keep bending. Get
yourself settled, and try not to skate on the inside edge of you blade." I do
as I'm told, Emma patiently waiting for me to get my bearings. "Now stop
hunching over. You look like that hunchback of Notre Dame."
I send her a look, which she bites her bottom lip at, distracting me for a
moment, and I fall flat on my ass. She bursts out laughing, and I'm glad
we're near the side, so I'm not stopping traffic. She holds her hand out for
me, helping me up. She slides in closer to me, so I can feel her body
warmth.
We take it slow, her hand holding mine tightly, as I get the hang of it. I
feel very tall and lanky doing this, much more than I had when I was
younger even though I hadn't grown all that much.
 When I had made it a whole lap around the rink without falling or
stumbling once, I looked over at Emma to see a proud glint in her eyes. I
got more and more confident, enough to hold a conversation with her as we
skated, not having to focus too much on what my legs and feet were doing.
"Em, you okay if I sit down for a bit? My feet are aching." I admit to her
about forty minutes later.
"Yeah, let's just head home-"
"No, keep skating. I know I held you back. Want to see you glide around
for a bit."
She smiles at me, "Are you sure?"
I nod, "Yeah, go on. Have fun, angel."
"Can you get over there without hurting yourself?" She teases.
I give her a playful glare, "Just watch me."
I ended up slipping right as I got to the entrance. A twelve year old had to
help me out, and Emma came to the board to see if I was okay, forcing back
her laughter. My ass hurt like crazy, but I smiled through it, sitting on an
unoccupied bench. I watched her for another fifteen minutes as she skated
around gracefully, her hips swaying, and smile playing on her lips. Every
few minutes she would glance back at me to see if I was watching her.
I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Not when she would skate backwards,
hair flying, or when she slowed down as she passed some kids trying to
learn, waving happily at a little girl who seemed very enthusiastic about the
whole thing. I could see her let out a little laugh, and I realized how fast my
heart was beating.
She was quite literally stealing my breath away every moment we spent
here.
When she came back to me, hobbling awkwardly over to me, I stand -
feet now securely in my own boots - and cup her face to kiss her. She
accepts my embrace right away, hands coming up to fist the lapels of my
coat. I hold her hips securely, her chest pushing into mine, and it feels so
romantic. Like this is our first proper romantic date as more than just the tag
we gave ourselves so foolishly thinking we wouldn't fall for each other.
I felt her smile against my lips, making it harder for me to keep kissing
her. Then she started to laugh, and I had to separate from her, but I don't go
too far. My arms wrap around her back. She's much taller than usual since
she still has her skates on, making me not have to dip down to peck her lips
again. She's full on grinning now, arms flung around my neck.
 "You're so beautiful." I say quietly, my green eyes entranced by the
striking blue of hers.
She blushes and looks down, breathing out a laugh. Her bashfulness is
adorable, so I press a few more kisses onto her face until she's pushing me
away. Smiling, I take her hand and help her sit, kneeling to the ground to
unlace her skates. She looks at me surprised by my actions, but let's me slip
her skates off her small feet, my hand gripping her strong calf as I pull them
off.
I return them while she puts her boots back on, meeting me in the lobby. I
don't think I've ever seen her look so happy. She was effervescent with her
bright smile and beaming eyes. Her face looked like it was glowing, and it
took everything in me not to tell her.
"What?" She asks when she gets to me.
I shake my head slowly, taking her hand in mine, "I'm just so fucking
happy."
Her smile somehow brightened, and she pulled me out of the rink and
towards my car, "I know! This place is awesome. I think I'm in love."
My breath hitched at her choice of words, too many thoughts racing
around in my head. Luckily, she had climbed into the car as my face warms.
I curse myself, following her lead, letting her fidget with the radio as I drive
us home. It's kind of adorable how she can never seem to find a station or
song she wants to stick to, always changing it and messing with the dial.
She pulls up the recipe on my laptop once we're back to the little cottage.
I started the fire again, quickly warming up the space, and turning on the
Christmas lights to add more ambience. She shoots me a smile when I join
her in the kitchen.
"If you want, I can get this started. I know you were talking about taking
a quick shower to warm back up." I suggest, "Maybe put those cute flannel
pajamas back on?"
She chuckles, "Yeah? You sure?"
"Go for it." I say and spank her butt.
She gives me a small squeal, clutching at her butt cheeks. Her eyes are
wide as I laugh, her hand coming up to push my shoulder. I watch as she
playfully glares at me, turns around, and heads to the bedroom.
I only have to suffer through a short ten minutes without her before she
shuffles back into the kitchen, red flannel PJ's gracing her body, barely
buttoned up giving me a glorious view of her cleavage. She had put on big
fuzzy socks to keep her feet warm, the bottom of one her pants tucked into
them on accident. Her hair flopped on top of her head in a messy bun, and
her face a little red from taking off her makeup.
Nothing could stop me from taking her into my chest and kissing her. It
was short, but absolutely searing. I pulled away acting like nothing had
happened , and continued glazing the chicken with the lemon butter sauce I
had whipped together.
"By the way," she starts, coming around me to stir the couscous in the
pan, "how big a board game fan are you?"
I send her a confused look, "A decent one, I guess. My family plays a lot
of them when we get together."
"How about Risk?"
I shrug, "I'm guessing you found a game cupboard?"
She breathes out a laugh, "Nothing too impressive, but they also had
monopoly-"
"Oh, please, no." I beg.
She laughs, "What, do you have something against monopoly?"
"You have no idea. When you meet my family don't ever mention the
monopoly scandal of twenty-ten." I tell her seriously.
She giggled hard, "Well, now I have to know."
"I'm still scarred."
"I bet I could get your mom to tell me. If she's anything like mine, like
you say she is, then she'll be chomping at the bit." She teases.
I give her a look, "Please, my mom will tell you every dirty little family
secret with a single bat of your pretty little eyes. Then again she might like
you too much, and she knows the stories might scare you off."
"Don't you think you're being dramatic?" She bumps my hip with hers,
making me hand over the spatula.
"Just you wait and see." I say cryptically.
As we sat down to eat, Emma asked me a question I was certain she had
been debating on asking all week, "So how was work for you this week?
You were there quite a bit."
I glance over at her and shrug, "It was okay. No major freak-outs."
She frowned, "I was worried about you."
At this I smiled, putting down my nearly finished plate, and scooting
closer to her, "I know, angel, but I was okay, I promise."
"Do you know what... triggers it?" She asked hesitantly.
 "Em, you don't have to tiptoe around it. You've seen me at my worst.
You've saved me from my worst, so you have every right to worry and ask
questions, okay?" I tell her sincerely.
She nods, "I kept thinking I would call you and you would sound so..."
"Pathetic?" I joke.
She narrows her eyes, "You're not pathetic, Harry. A lot of people deal
with anxiety issues."
I sigh, "I know, I just have a hard time not... turning it into a joke to make
it feel less, um, consuming."
"I get that. I mean, I did deal with a psychotic, emotionally abusive, and
manipulative ex for months, and would wave it off or make a joke of it."
She says knowingly.
My eyes soften, "I think I get what you're saying." I watch as she puts her
plate on the table in front of us. Of course she was right. I tried so hard to
make her see how serious her situation was, and now it was her turn.
"You're too smart, you know."
"Wait til I kick your ass at Risk."
I burst out laughing, "Oh, really?"
"Oh, yes." She raises her eyebrows at me, plucking the game from
underneath the coffee table, while I bring our plates to the kitchen. As she
sets up the board, she says, "So do you know why you weren't as effected
this week?"
"Honestly, no. I think it might have something to do with you..." I admit,
her looking up at me after I say it, "That week that I, uh, had an attack it
was because there was all this pressure from myself and my bosses, and it
all felt like it was for nothing. But this week I was doing it for myself, and
for us. I was working towards something I wanted."
She smiles softly at me, "Have you thought anymore about doing
something different?"
I shrug, "Yeah, I have. I'm just getting tired of working myself to the
bone, and feeling no satisfaction, but I have no clue what to do."
"Well, you like numbers. That's what you told me." She sets our pieces
up, letting me pick the first country. "Was there ever anything you did back
in school that you really enjoyed?"
I thought about it for a moment, watching her place an infantry in South
America. "I did a study once involving analysis. One of my sister-in-laws
owns her own financial analysis business where she helps small to medium
sized businesses maximize their money output. Sometimes she calls me up
to ask my opinion."
Emma raises her eyebrows, "Huh, that sounds interesting. So what would
you do then?"
"If I did that?" She nods. "Well, I would start with a meeting with the
CEO and CFO, or, I guess, the owner if it's a small business, and have them
go through their books with me. See how much they're spending, and on
what. I would study their demographic, location, competition, and then put
that all together to figure out what they should be spending money on.
What's throwing profit away... Pretty much a whole new business plan that
outlines proper investments and discards useless money-guzzlers, but also
give them realistic goals to set for themselves based on the size of their
output and services."
She's got a small smile on her face as she continues to place infantries
and upgrades to a cavalry in Spain. "Seems like you know quite a bit about
it."
I shrug, "There's much more to it."
"Have you thought about going into that line of business?" She asks.
"I don't know... It's a tough business that relies a lot on word of mouth,
which would mean coming into that world unestablished is nearly
impossible."
"But you have an in." She adds, "Your sister-in-law. She could help you
out, right?"
"She definitely could." Emma challenges one of my infantries, easily
beating me with a quick roll of the dice. "I don't want to quit my job - a job
that many would kill for at my age - and try this completely new thing that
might not even work out. Like, what if I hate it just as much?"
"So?" She asserts, "At least you tried. You were in active participant in
your attempt at happiness, or at least, you're contentment. Yeah, it might not
be what you end up wanting to do with your life, but that's an if. Right now
you know for certain that you hate what you're doing."
"You know, you're a very positive person." I tell her, continuing on my
quest to dominate North America.
She snorts, "Not sure I've ever been called that."
"No, you are." I pressed, "It's the teacher in you. I can guarantee that your
kids are gonna grow up thanking you for always being supportive of their
dreams."
 She sends me a warm smile, "That's very sweet. I just want to look after
the people I care about."
My heart warmed, "Thank you, angel. You have no idea how much your
calls meant to me this week."
We roll the dice, and she says, "Just wanted to hear your voice."
"Well, I needed to hear your voice."
She shakes her head this time, "No, you didn't. You were able to keep
yourself calm and under control. You kept a level head. Don't give me all
the credit for your strength." She says, then adding, "Also, I just took over
North America. Thank you."
"Wait, what?" I look down at the board, and do see how she somehow
had taken the territory from me. "How did you even do that."
"I'm just that good, baby." She teased.
"Remind me to have you on my team when we stay at my parents place.
Already know they're going to try and steal you away from me."
"Never going to happen."
Chapter Thirty-Six

EMMA
"So you and Harry seem to be in the honeymoon stage..." Sarah says to
me.
Harry and I had gotten up early again to join Sarah and Mitch on a walk.
The guys were up ahead talking about something while we were moseying
along behind them. They had their little dog with them today, a shitzu that
was probably a little too friendly. It had to stop every time a new person
walked by, wagging its fluffy tail at them waiting for an ear scratch. That's
why Sarah and I were further behind than Harry and Mitch.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so. We're still kind of new." I tell her, looking down at
the path in front of us.
"It's weird, because you two seem like you are as comfortable around
each other as Mitch and I are, and we've been dating for five years, but
you've also got that look of "everything is new and exciting". It's really
cute, honestly." She tells me.
I shrug, "Yeah, I don't know. We've only been technically dating for a
week, but I just feel like he knows me."
"Means you guys have a great foundation of a friendship. That's the most
important thing." Sarah says, pulling Misty the shitzu along, "You know
how I said I'm a photographer?" I nod. "Well, I do a lot of engagement and
wedding shoots, and it's surprisingly easy to tell which couples are going to
make it and not."
"What do you mean?" I ask, making eye contact with Harry as he glances
behind him to make sure I'm close. I send him a quick smile, and turn back
to Sarah who's smirking.
"There's this look in a person's eyes when they completely give
themselves to another person. Once you know what it is, it's very easy to
spot. You can be in love with someone, but not give yourself away. Harry,"
She continues, smiling softly at me, "he's far gone for you. He looks at you
like I haven't seen most of the couples I've done weddings for do. It's
compelling, really. It's why I took so many pictures of you two yesterday."
I didn't quite know what to say, my face warm and eyes watering a little,
"Uh, um..." I swallow harshly.
She chuckles, "Don't worry, you don't have to say anything. I know it can
be a lot. Tried to fight it with Mitch for a while, but couldn't."
"Things are just still so new between us-"
"Doesn't matter. When you know, you know." She shrugs, "And just for
the record, I see that same look from you when you look at him."
†††
"How do you feel about ice hockey?" Harry asks me once we've eaten
lunch.
I give him an amused look, "Pretty neutral, but I will say The Mighty
Ducks was one of my favorite movies growing up."
"There's a game about twenty minutes away. Thought it might be fun."
He shrugs.
"Are you a big fan or something?" I ask him.
"Uh, yeah, kind of. Got into it a few years back, and always wanted to go
to a game."
"Well, then let's go!" I stand up quickly, the small pub we were in almost
empty during this time.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I think it'll be fun. They get rough on the ice, right?"
Harry chuckles, "It's called checking, but yeah the game can get violent."
"I'm so down. Let's get some popcorn while we're there." I suggest, and
within five minutes we were on the road.
Harry was explaining the rules to me, so I wouldn't be completely lost,
but I was barely listening. I couldn't stop thinking of what Sarah had said to
me earlier. I was watching him a little closer to see if I could detect that
look, but he was looking at me like he always had.
I didn't know what to do about his sleepy confession he made last week.
His words had rang through my head more times than I could count, and
every time made my heart ache. I didn't know if he really meant it, or if it
just slipped out. Was it ridiculous to think he could've fallen in love with me
after a few months?
 I was half relived and half pained to discover he didn't remember saying
those words to me. On one hand, hearing them scared the living shit out of
me. It made everything more real, easier to break. I had just healed from the
last heartbreak, and going through another one would be devastating.
I was also worried about his friends - my friends. I didn't want to be
Harry's girlfriend to them. I wanted to be Emma. I didn't want them to have
to choose between us if something went wrong. I couldn't feel that extra
pain of losing them, as well. They would choose Harry, as they should. I
would be left with nothing. Again.
But on the other hand, my heart and soul craved him. It's like they knew
they needed him and his soft words and kind eyes to survive, so every
second I spent with him not able to hear him say it was torture.
I was torn between my heart and brain. Two muscles critical to my
survival pulling me in opposite direction, but it was easier to see my heart
was winning. My heart was strong now thanks to the man beside me. He
had singlehandedly stitched me back together just by being my friend and
caring for me. He made me feel things that I had never felt before. He made
me feel alive and wild and human.
I had always hated being so emotional and easy to read, but Harry made
it feel natural, like he was meant to be the one to read me like an open book.
Sarah was right when she said that we were comfortable around each other.
Harry was the only person alive I was okay with sharing everything with. I
wanted him to know, and however scary that was, it wasn't enough to keep
me away.
And, suddenly, I realized that I was looking at him just as Sarah had said.
Every inch of my body was buzzing as his smile widened, popping his
dimples at me as he talks about his favorite team. I was so gone, and I
couldn't find it in me to run like I thought I would. Like I would've even
three weeks ago. It's like the intuition I've held my entire life to not let
someone in completely evaporated in the moment, because I could see it
now. The way his eyes brightened when they met mine, gazing at me in
such a way that stole my breath.
He meant what he said.
And, fuck, if I didn't love him back.
He was everything.
He's given me everything without even meaning to.
 "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked softly, almost as if he
already knew the answer.
Yet the words wouldn't come out. I wasn't going to run, but I wasn't quite
ready. I needed to take this at our own pace. We would have all the time in
the world to tell each other those three words. Possibly even the rest of our
lives. Right now I wanted to enjoy the moment without too much pressure.
"I'm just really fucking happy." I repeat his words back to him.
His eyes softened, and his hand came up to cup my cheeks, and whispers,
"You have no idea."
I smile widely at him, "I think I do."
The smallest furrow of his eyebrows crossed his face as he studied me.
Neither of us spoke for about a minute before he said, "We should go inside
before I pull you into the back seat and make love to you."
My breath hitches at the seriousness in his voice. My mouth is suddenly
dry as I choke out, "What if that's what I want?"
He shakes his head, still looking at me as if I'm his world, "No, you
deserve so much better, Emma. When I make love to you it's not going to
be in my car in a parking lot surrounded by people."
"How are you going to make love to me then?" I ask him with no
hesitation.
A slow smile began to form on his pink lips, "You'll see."
"Don't tease me, baby." I warn him.
He huffs out a laugh, "C'mon, angel. Game's starting soon."
Throughout the hockey game, neither of us could stop touching the other,
whether it's our hands holding onto each other, or his on my leg. It's like a
fire was lit underneath us. This whole trip we've been touchy, yet we
haven't touched one another.
There was something about the intimacy we have shared without sex the
past two days. Last night after we finished our game we laid in bed
watching a movie on his laptop until we fell asleep. I don't think he minded
either. It's a little weird considering how we fucked like rabbits when we
first started this whole thing.
But tonight I knew it would lead to something else. In fact, we might not
make it til tonight with the way his finger is teasing my inner thigh. It's
subtle enough to where no one around us would bat an eye, but I knew
exactly what that meant.
 As the game went on, the crowd rose to their feet, and Harry brought me
to his front, so he could hold me tighter. I teased him a bit by moving my
hips back and forth, making him growl into my ear. At one point he even
nips at my ear, burying his face in my neck, breathing in my scent. It was all
so much, our feelings feeling as though they're about to burst.
Neither of us was paying attention to the game in front of us. Harry's
team was up by three, so it was a forgone conclusion with only five minutes
left on the clock.
"Harry," I say lowly, turning my head towards his ear, "take me home."
Without an answer, he grabs my hand and walks us out. There are a lot of
people out of the stands, but most were still inside the stadium, so when we
tore through the parking lot to find his car he pinned me up against it. His
lips crashed into mine, body flush against my heated one. It was needy and
aggressive, and I knew exactly what I was in for when we got home.
"Get in the car." He growled against my lips.
I heard the sound of his car unlocking behind me, his eyes staying on
mine as he backed up, and waited for me to follow orders. I hopped in
quickly, clicking my seatbelt in place just as he slides in. His eyes are dark
and dilated, and I see the clear bulge in his pants.
My mouth waters immediately, and the only thought I have in my head is
a memory:
"Want you..." I mumble against his lips.
"Windows... tinted..." He's saying in-between kisses, and he's desperately
trying to get my shorts off, so I stand awkwardly, lips still attached to his as
he pulls them down along with my underwear. I'm pulling at his sweats, he's
lifting his hips up, and his cock is springing free while he's chuckling,
"Desperate for my cock, Emma?"
Right as he's turning the key in the ignition, I reach over and start
unbuckling his belt. Immediately, his hands grip mine, and he says lowly,
"What are you doing?"
"I want a taste." I pout up at him through my eyelashes.
He cocks his head, a smug smirk playing on his face, "Just a taste?"
I nod, "Just a taste."
"Alright, you can have a taste." His voice sounded dangerous, causing a
pool of wetness between my thighs. "On one condition."
"Anything." I breathed, now slowly unbuckling him.
 "You know how I love it when you keep my cock warm. Love being
inside you, but your mouth will have to do for right now. You're gonna get
your taste, but you can't lick, suck, or move."
"What?" I ask with big eyes.
"You're going to keep my thick cock in your mouth the entire drive back,
and not do anything else, angel." His thumb gilded over my bottom lip, so I
sucked it into my mouth as I unbuttoned his jeans.
He chuckles darkly, "Such a naughty little angel. Think you can do it?"
"Mhm," I nod and hum around his thumb.
"Good, because if you defy me I'm going to tie you up and make you
watch me stroke myself until I'm cumming all night long. Not even going to
touch you, and I won't let you touch yourself."
I squirm in my seat, but nod, deciding to play by his rules. He looked so
worked up that I knew he meant business. I knew he would leave me tied
up, wet and needy all night if he had to, and honestly that sounded really
hot. I wondered if he would cum on me and leave it there throughout the
night. I was tempted to beg for that, but my core was throbbing now, hot
and slick from his words. I knew I wouldn't be able to go through the night
without him inside me.
"Such a good girl, aren't you?" He tells me, lifting up and pulling his
jeans down to his thighs. He then sticks his hand down his underwear, and
pulls his long, thick cock to of his underwear. "Can't use your hand either,
angel." He warns me.
I nod, my eyes staying on his until I'm far enough bent over that his cock
is staring straight at me. The tip is the same color as his lips, and I really
want to peck it softly, but that's against the rules. Instead, I open my mouth
wide and lower down onto him. Of course, he's too big for me, so there's
still an inch and a half of his length uncovered by me once I hit the back of
my throat.
He breathes out a puff of air, brushing my hair to the side, and massaging
my neck. I nearly groan at his strong fingers kneading the tight muscles, but
hold it back. My hand grips his leg in an attempt to keep my cool. I make
sure I can breathe comfortable through my nose, and give him a slight pinch
so he knows I'm ready.
"Emma, you're fucking perfect for me, you know that?" Harry says above
me, obvious strain in his voice, "In every way."
 I sigh around him, the sound muffled and the feeling odd. He groans,
tightening his hold on the back of my neck. It was about five minutes in that
I realized how hard this would be. My jaw was aching, my back hurt as
well, but it was my mouth watering that was giving me the trouble. I wasn't
able to swallow or suck, so it was building and slipping out of the corners
of my mouth making the base of his cock all shiny and inviting.
My hips shifted and I let out a little whimper, hoping Harry didn't hear it,
but when I had my first taste of his salty pre-cum I knew that he had.
"You okay?" He checked in on me softly.
He tilts my head for me, so my cheek is against his thigh, and we can
make eye contact. It's brief, because he's still driving, but I can see the care
in his eyes winning over the lust. I nod as best as I could, closing my eyes
and letting out a big breath through my nose.
"So good..." He says softly, combing through my hair.
We stay like this for the next ten minutes, and I know we must be getting
close. I shuffle a little bit, so I'm back in my original position. His
underwear had slipped down a bit further and I could see a bit of his balls. I
got an idea, and glided my hand from his thigh, sneaking it down his pants
and cupped his balls.
Suddenly, he fisted my hair, and pulled me off of him, "What do you
think you're doing?"
I swallowed and gasped for air, choking out, "You didn't say I couldn't
touch you balls. Just your cock. I was being good, I promise."
His eyes softened, glancing back at the road, "So smart, aren't you,
angel?"
I nod, "Can I?"
He smirked, "Absolutely drooling over my cock. Look at it." I glance
down on it to see it shining. It twitched under my gaze. "C'mon, angel, keep
me warm."
I happily obliged, taking him in my mouth again, this time rolling his
balls slowly and softly in my hands. I feel him stopping, and cold air hit my
back, and I know he must've pulled into the back entrance, so we wouldn't
have to deal with the guard. I hadn't even thought about that, but of course
Harry had. I hear the faint beeps of a code being put in, and Harry's hand
finding my hair again as he started to drive slowly down the streets.
"Almost there, angel. Then you can do whatever you'd like." He says
quietly.
 I wait patiently for him to park, and the moment I feel us stop and put the
car into park, I start moving. He doesn't stop me as I bob quickly up and
down his length. He holds my hair back for me, groaning while I work him.
He's leaking profusely now, and I'm savoring every little drop. My tongue
glides up and down with me, sucking on his tip before slinking all the way
down and pushing him deep into my throat.
"Fuck, perfect, oh god..." He curses and moans out, "I'm gonna cum,
angel."
I moan around him making his fist tighten in my hair, and speed up my
bobbing until he's tensing and shooting thick, hot cum into my mouth.
Greedily I swallow it, popping off him when he's done, and going straight
in for a kiss. His hand cups the back of my head and presses me tight
against his mouth. We practically devour each other, tongues embracing and
tasting his cum.
I pull away and smile devilishly at his flushed face, "Catch me."
Turning around, I get out of the car and race to the front door. I type in
the code just as I hear Harry's door slam and his car lock. I throw the front
door open, and squeal when his arm wraps around my waist. Harry's
laughter rings through the small cottage as he shuts the door. My laughter
mingles with his, and he spins me around only to pick me up, legs wrapping
around him. His large hands cup my ass as he walks us to the bedroom,
throwing me down on the mattress.
I'm still laughing when I sit up and take my coat and shirt off. His eyes
are on me as I undress and my eyes explore his body as he strips down.
Soon enough he's just in his underwear along with me. My bra was tossed
off, freeing my breasts before he pounced. He jumped on the bed, straddling
me, lips moving straight to my pebbled nipples.
Our laughter has died down, the only sound in the room now my moans
and heavy breathing. He marks up my chest with love bites, moving up my
neck with just pecks.
I smile to myself, and say, "Harry, I'm on break."
"What?" He asks continuing his way up my neck.
"Don't have work for another two weeks. You can mark me up all you
want."
His head shoots up and his eyes are wide with surprise. A Cheshire grin
slowly forms on his face, "Are you serious?"
 I nod, "Want you to claim me." I say quietly, leaning up to nip at his
bottom lip.
He groans, pressing his forehead against mine, "Your mom will see."
"Don't care. Plan on leaving you a big one, so no one thinks they have a
chance with you while we're apart."
He breathes out a laugh, looking down at me softly all of a sudden. It's a
stark contrast to the way he was looking at me earlier, but one I cherished
just as much.
"Won't even look at another person. It's just you."
"Good."
He kissed me sweetly for a few seconds before making his way back
down my neck. He pecked a few places, but didn't make a move to make
any marks.
"Fuck, I don't even know where to start."
I burst out laughing, feeling Harry bury his face in the crook of my neck
laughing as well. My fingers found his hair, and I softly combed it back.
Finally, his face emerged and looked down at me. I smirk at him, and turn
my head, "Why don't you start here..." I touch the spot where my jaw meets
my ear, knowing how sensitive I am there, "and you can decide the rest,
okay?"
He nods silently, like he's in a trance, dipping down to tease his tongue
against the very spot I told him to. Immediately, I melt into the sheets on the
bed, and he senses the effect he's having on me. He kisses my spot before
sucking lightly on my delicate, heated skin. My fingers tighten on his hair,
hips moving beneath him while he plays with me. I hiss when he nibbles,
his tongue coming directly after to soothe the small ache.
With one last peck he drifts lower and finds another spot to mark me. He
does this over and over again, and I know it's overkill, but I love it. I wished
I had nowhere to be, so he could mark me forever. It was primal and greedy
and completely overwhelming. It was to the point that my hips were
bucking into his occasionally, and I was whimpering for him to do more.
Silently, he worked his way down, keeping his slow pace. He was driving
me absolutely crazy. It shouldn't have surprised him when he slipped my
underwear off, and parted my legs to see me so wet for him. I watched as
his eyes darkened, glancing up to mine as he bent down to place a sweet
kiss at my opening. His lips glistened with my arousal, and with a small
plea he licked up my slit.
 He hummed in satisfaction, not wasting anymore time by pushing his
tongue inside me. His hands came up to slam my hips back into the mattress
after I raised them in an attempt to get his closer to me. His thumb pressed
down on my clit as his tongue worked me.
My head fell back and eyes closed in bliss while he ate me out. He knew
exactly what I liked and when I liked it. Knew when to lick his way up my
slit and envelope my clit with his lips. His sucking turned to rubbing turned
to flicking, and it was harder to keep my body from moving. I was so full of
pleasure, waves hitting me when he put down more pressure or moved his
tongue faster. That knot settled in the base of my stomach tightened and
twirled inside me as I got closer and closer to my high.
"Harry, yes, god... Feels so good." I mumble out.
Her pushes two fingers into me suddenly, my back arching off the bed.
Popping off my clit, he said huskily, "I can feel you right on the edge, angel.
C'mon, baby, cum for me. It's been too long since I've seen you like this."
He blows on my clit, making me clench around his fingers, "So sensitive
for me, aren't you? Ready for me at any time..."
"Yes, baby..."
I feel him smile as he turns his head to my inner thigh to nibble a love
bite into the meaty portion. Soon enough my clit's sucked into his mouth,
tongue flicking it furiously. It takes a few minutes of this to push me over
the edge into a deep abyss of pleasure. I let out a strangled moan of his
name, ecstasy clear in my voice.
His fingers keep working me as he climbs back up my body, my hips
twitching at the sensitivity. When he reaches my face, he dips down to steal
a kiss. Mumbling against my lips, he says, "Gonna make you feel good over
and over again tonight. You've been such a good girl for me, angel."
I nod mindlessly, sighing when he replaces his fingers with his cock,
slowly pushing in. His soaked digits are placed by my mouth, so I take
them in, licking them clean. His dark eyes watch me as he lets me adjust to
his size. When I pop them out of my mouth his hand rests on the mattress
near my head to keep him from crushing me. His other hand hooks my knee
over his elbow, and stretches me into a new angle.
Finally, he starts moving, short, hard thrusts at first, building up
momentum and getting used to the way I feel. His forehead falls to my
shoulder, a grunt escaping him as he snaps his hips into mine.
"Harry!"
 He repeats this, pulling out all the way to his tip for maximum pleasure.
"That's right, Emma. Call out my name. Let everyone know you're mine
and I'm yours."
"I'm yours..." I mumble out.
"And I'm yours, angel. Belong to you, hear that?" I nod, slipping into a
dazed state. His head comes up to hover in front of mine, the power behind
his thrusts building, the speed quickening. "My cock belongs to you. My
pleasure belongs to you. My heart..."
His words are a juxtaposition to his actions, the harsh movement and
slapping skin feeling like a rough fuck, whereas his words sound dirtily
sweet. I want him to finish the sentence, but instead he lowers himself to
kiss me. It's a hard, passionate embrace, matching the feeling behind our
hips meeting. I buck into him as he enters me repeatedly.
Our breathing is heavy when we separate, unable to hold the kiss, and a
shriek in surprise when lets my leg go, sneaks his arm under my ass, and
flips us so I'm on top. My hair falls in curtains around our faces, our eye
contact hazy. I settle myself on top of him and start moving up and down
him to give him a break. His chest is heaving, slight gleam of sweat buildup
on his smooth skin.
I can hear the sound of us connecting, my cunt so aroused I feel my inner
thigh coated in it. It's like a song to me, the breathing, slapping of skin,
slick sound of sliding him in and out of me, and when he moans and
whimpers it adds to the melody.
I take my time, sitting up on him and arching my back to give him a good
view. I can feel my breasts bouncing in time, the slight burn of my thighs
beginning to build. My fingers play with his nipples, and his face scrunches
up in pleasure.
"Emma, yes, angel. Know exactly how to treat me."
"I'm the only one." I say breathlessly.
He growls, "Damn, right. Only one that has ever made me feel like this."
His hands moved from my thighs to my hips to speed me up, his own
thrusting upwards into me. I yell out in ecstasy, collapsing onto his chest.
"Never want another person to touch me." He whispers into my ear.
"Me either." I respond, our lips meeting ungracefully.
He takes control, stilling my hips and pounding into me. My clit is hit
over and over again, his thick cock hitting the sensitive part inside me. I
keen into his mouth as he somehow speeds up, not able to keep up with his
kiss. Our lips stay touching, eyes opening to watch the other succumb to
pleasure.
It always feels like so much is said between us in these moments. We're
at our most vulnerable as we hit our orgasms, our eyes betraying any walls
we had tried to put up before. The walls were feeble, however, barely erect
anymore. We were willing participants in this game of love.
When the last of his cum entered my spasming pussy, he stilled, letting
me melt into him. I nuzzle my face into his sweaty neck as his arm wraps
around me, the other hand finding my hair to twirl and play with.
"Angel?" Harry's voice rings through the silence a few minutes later.
"Hmm?"
"Look at me."
I lift my head up.
"I meant what I said. I'm yours. Completely."
Chapter Thirty-Seven

HARRY
"Harry!" She squeals behind me, arms tightening around my waist as I
speed the snowmobile up.
We had been able to rent a snowmobile to travel around a some pathways
on a small mountain. It was bit of a drive, but both of us were really
wanting to try it. I felt safer if we were together, so I suggested we just
rented one - the bonus being that she was going to hold onto me the entire
time.
I loved the way she felt pressed against my back, bundled up in a snow
jacket and thermal leggings under a pair of jeans. Her hair was put up into a
ballerina bun, and her ears were covered by the cutest earmuffs I've ever
seen.
She was like a dream, last night ravaging my body three times after our
first. We couldn't get enough of each other. Somehow we had held off on
anything sexual for two full nights and days, the third night being the final
straw. It had been nearly a week since we had been able to feel each other
like that. It was the longest we had gone, not counting the two weeks in-
between our first and second time sleeping together.
I had almost forgotten how soft her skin was, how easily she responded
to my touch, that look in her eyes when she was just about to cum. I don't
think I would be able to live without her at this point. She might be strong
enough to survive another heartbreak, but I had never been through one.
Yes, it hurt to end things with Carla, but that was on my terms. I hurt
because I was hurting her, not because I was losing her. With Emma it was
completely different. Hell, I couldn't breathe without her, that's how
important and crucial she was to me at this point.
The one thing holding me back from telling her how deep this was for me
was her hesitation. She had been through a lot in the last year from being in
an emotionally abusive relationship, to having her heart broken, to being led
on, and then to have that same boy harass her for months. She had also
showed that she could survive that intense heartbreak.
But I was a weak man.
I knew I would free fall into an ocean and drown without her presence
and guidance. Truly, she had no idea what she has done for me. Especially
this trip. For the first time since before university, I had felt the pressure
lifted off my chest. There was no looming threat of anxiety.
I'm sure once I go back to work, or really when I go to my parents place -
away from Emma - I'll feel that again, but it's a goddamn miracle that I
wasn't feeling it right now. I was honestly dreading the holiday week
without her. Sure I wanted to spend time with my family, because I loved
them, but that meant a full eight and a half days without her. That would be
the longest we had not seen each other since... well, since she started going
to the gym.
I had thought about heading up to my parents late this year, maybe even
driving up the night before Christmas Eve, but Emma was leaving Tuesday
to drive up to her mom. Lu had wanted to drive up Monday morning, but
Emma and I wouldn't be in town until mid-afternoon, so I was going
immediately back home to pack more, and pick my sister up. I wouldn't
even get to spend that night with my angel.
I wondered if she was feeling the same, dreading the time apart.
Hopefully, she wasn't excited about it considering we had spent the last four
days together and still had another night to go. I hoped it wasn't too much
for her, but she had responded well to all our time together, not wanting a
second of alone time. She made sure we showered together, and made a
nice cozy bath for us this morning after breakfast. She was also touching
me a lot more than usual. Initiating hand holding, resting her hand on my
chest or arm as we talked. She kissed me a lot more too.
Maybe it was because we were out in the open without the prying eyes of
our friends or family. We were able to be a couple here with absolutely no
pressure.
"Harry, slow down!" She laughed into my ear.
I laugh with her, slowing down so we could enjoy the scenery. There
weren't a lot of people out besides the rangers keeping an eye on the trails,
so we were able to stop and peer at an amazing view off the side of the
mountain, and into the village we were going to visit later today. I felt her
rest her cheek on my shoulder blade, a smile gracing my lips. My hand
found hers and held it firmly to my chest.
"It's so beautiful." She says quietly.
"It really is. We should hike this in the summer. Bet it has an amazing
view of the sunrise." I suggest.
I feel her squeeze me, "Yeah, I would love that." She pauses before
adding, "Maybe we could make this our spot. Like Sarah and Mitch, you
know. Come here right before Christmas and in the summer, if we can get
the time off."
I giant grin formed on my face, loving the thought that she was planning
on spending multiple summers and winters with me. "Our spot..." I repeat
quietly.
I feel her nod slowly, lifting her head to press a kiss into my thick snow
jacket, "Our spot."
I sigh, closing my eyes to just feel the moment. It was so perfect. A
sereneness flowing through me like I've never experienced before. Even
calmer, less tense, and lighter than last night. The effect she had on me was
staggering.
"Want to head back down?" I ask after a few more minutes of silence,
"We can go to that little village, and get lunch. Our reservation isn't until
eight tonight, so we've got plenty of time to do that, and go home to get
dressed properly."
"Sounds perfect. Been dying to walk around the shops." She tells me
excitedly.
I start the snowmobile again, following the signs to bring us back to the
lodge. It was a giant building that housed the restaurant that we were going
to tonight, as well as a mini museum about the history of the land, a
daycare, pool, and even a ballroom that was used for weddings. The wood
building was old, but well kept, making it a perfect destination for the
winter. The lake on the far side held a sister cabin that was more in tune for
the summer, so we had talked about just checking that out when we come
back.
While I was checking in the snowmobile, Emma walked off to find a
little sanctioned off area that held about a dozen Siberian Husky pups that
looked like they were being trained. She was leaning against the fence when
I went to join her. I came in right behind her, my hands resting on top of the
fence on either side of her. I dipped down low to press a kiss to her hairline.
 "They're super cute." I say with a chuckle as a puppy trips over its feet.
"I've always wanted a dog." She answers.
"Really? I had no idea."
Nodding, she says, "Yeah, couldn't properly afford one when I was a kid,
and I don't want to get one until I have a house with a yard."
"I grew up with a dog. Golden Retriever my sister named Moony. Passed
away about five years ago." I tell her, resting my chin on her shoulder.
I can see her pout, "I'm sorry. Jake had a Basset Hound that I absolutely
adored. I miss him. I think it was a major factor in me thinking I was in love
with that asshole."
I chuckle, "What kind of dog would you get?"
She shrugs, "I think I'd like a mutt. Go into a shelter and pick out
whichever dog speaks to me. Knowing me I would probably end up getting
the oldest dog, who can barely walk. Give him a happy last year."
My heart swells, "That sounds nice. Think I could get behind that."
Her hands cover mine, fingers grazing my knuckles, "I like planning the
future with you."
I close my eyes, turning my face into her neck, "Only thing that makes
sense."
She turns around to face me, gloved hands coming up to cup my face,
and says, "Kiss me."
I smile down at her, taking only a second before my lips take her bottom
one in-between mine. Our heads tilt in unison as we deepen our embrace.
Every time we share one of these types of kisses it's like a jolt of electricity
shoots through my body. I'm easily becoming addicted to the feeling as if it
were a drug.
When we separate slowly, we're both smiling like crazy. I can see the
happiness dancing in her icy blue eyes, looking at me in such a way that
both makes my heart beat fast and time slow down. Like we're the only
ones that matter.
†††
We were walking hand in hand down the cobbled street, checking out the
shoppes and buying last minute presents. Emma was all caught up, but I
still had to get both my sisters something small for our stockings. She led
me into a small shoppe that had handmade jewelry. I was surprised by the
quality, but read on their sign that they weld pendents, broaches, rings, and
other pieces from their workhouse in Switzerland. There was apparently
only three stores total that they ran. One here, one in Lucerne, Switzerland,
and one in Amsterdam.
While I was paying for matching lockets, Emma's phone rang. She
stepped outside to take it, me joining her in a minute.
"No, I'll deal with it when I get home." I hear her say as I'm approaching.
I frown, taking in her sudden change in demeanor. She looks tense and
tired, her eyes giving away the exhaustion she's feeling in this moment.
She looks up at me when I take her free hand in mine, and lean my
shoulder against the wall she's got her back against. "No, Millie, I promise I
will. I'll contact the police when I come home tomorrow."
At this my body tenses up, eyes trained on her face.
"Don't go near him if he shows up again, do you hear me?" Emma says
firmly, "He's probably drunk, and he could be violent."
Fuck.
She was talking about Jake. What did he do? If he even touched Millie I
was going to kill the guy.
Emma felt my sudden rage, squeezing my hand and bringing it up to her
lips to peck the back of it in an attempt to calm me down.
"Thank you for calling, Millie... Mhm... I promise, I won't brush this
aside. I already told him if he bugs me again that I would get the cops
involved... Just call our landlord if he shows back up again... Okay... Thank
you, again. How are you feeling?... Have you called your doctor?...
Millie-... Fine, I'll let you handle it, but you better call me if anything
happened, okay?... Bye, love you."
She hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath. I don't ask her what's
wrong. Instead I decide to wait until she's focused and calm. It's a few
seconds before she opens her eyes and lolls her head to look at me.
"Jake came to my place today."
My jaw clenched, "Yeah?"
She nodded, "Apparently belligerently drunk, banging on my door
demanding to be let in. Millie heard it, and came out-"
"If he hurt her-"
"Harry, everyone is fine." She tells me firmly and slowly. I bit my
tongue, and wait for her to continue, "She told him I was away for the
weekend, he mentioned you. Millie didn't want to tell me exactly what he
said about you, though, so I don't think it was particularly kind."
I huff out, "Is that all?"
 She shrugs, "I think so. She just said he left, stumbling into the elevator."
"Emma, I don't like this-" I start, but she cuts me off.
"I'm going to call Oli tomorrow when I get back, and ask his advice. See
if I have a case for a restraining order or something."
I purse my lips, "I'm leaving tomorrow night."
"I know." She says softly.
"What if he comes back?" I ask her, the thought physically hurting me.
"Millie told him that I was gone all week. She pretended we were
spending Christmas together, so there's no reason he would-"
"Unless he's drunk." I shoot back, "He needs to be locked up and away
from you for the rest of your life."
She smiled softly up at me, "I would very much like that, but it's going to
take time and patience. Everything will be okay, baby."
I wanted to tell her she didn't know that, and that Jake was very capable
of doing much was than harassing her. He worked with her for christ sake!
But I didn't want to push it. Emma had already assured me she was getting
the police involved and that was a huge step. There was a time not so long
ago that she would've brushed this off, but now she was taking care and
protecting herself.
"I'm proud of you." I tell her sincerely.
Her brilliant smile makes an appearance, "Thank you, Harry."
"You're so strong."
She rolls her eyes in embarrassment, "Stop."
I chuckle, "Want some lunch? I saw a taco truck sign. Should be at the
end of this road."
"Mmm, knows the way right to my heart, don't you."
I flash her a smile, "I try."
Later that evening, we were back in the cottage getting ready for dinner. I
let her have the bathroom while I changed into my black slacks and a button
up. My fleece coat was placed on the couch, so I could grab it on the way
out. I waited patiently for her to get ready, turning something mindless on
on my laptop. I glanced over at the tree in the corner, eyeing our presents. I
was excited to give her my gift tonight once we got back. I had wanted to
buy her more, but knew she wouldn't like that I was spending so much on
her. She already had a hard enough time letting me rent this place for us.
"Ready to go?"
 I turn my head to look at her, my body freezing and heart stopping when
my eyes meet her body. She's standing by the counter, fiddling with her
watch, not aware of my stunned gaze. When she looks up and sees my face
a smile starts to form.
"What?" She asks knowingly.
I stand slowly, making my way towards her. She raises an eyebrow at me,
and I chuckle, finally finding my breath, "You are stunning, Emma."
She blushes, but a pleased look flashes through her eyes. They seemed to
pop even more tonight, due to the eye makeup she has on. Her face is
perfect, accentuated by her makeup, but it was all her. Her round cheeks,
soft lips, and striking eyes.
As my eyes traveled down, I notice the delicate gold chain hanging
around her neck, one that would match perfectly with my gift. The top of
her dress hangs low on her, enough to see the edge of one of my love bites
from last night. The soft fabric clung to her curves so deliciously it made
me want to pounce on her, yet somehow she came off looking like an
innocent angel. My angel.
My eyes snapped back up to hers, and I saw the gleam in them. She knew
how amazing she looked, her confidence shining brighter than I had ever
seen it. It was a beautiful sight.
"You are looking handsome, as well, baby." She tells me, stepping closer
to me, hands finding their home on my chest. She pops up on her heels to
steal a kiss.
"Emma, I'm serious. I'm so incredibly lucky to have you."
She holds my eyes, looking into them seriously, "You're going soft on
me, Harry."
"Oh, I've been soft on you for a very long time." I shoot back.
Her eyes stare into mine, a sudden lust consuming them, "Not last night.
In fact, if I remember correctly, you were very hard over and over and over
again."
I groan, keeping her face close to mine, "Are you trying to make us miss
our reservation?"
She giggles sweetly, "I can't help it. You're too easy."
"I'm offended." I scoff playfully.
"Are you saying you're not easy?" She challenges.
"Oh, I'm very easy, but I don't like being called out on it."
She rolls her eyes, smiling, "C'mon, let's go. I'm starving."
 "Let me get your jacket." I say, taking it off the hooks near the door, and
turning her around so I can help her. She holds out her arms, and I slip them
into the sleeves. Once it's on I gather up her hair, and pull it to the side. My
eyes immediately find the bruised mark under her ear looking so perfectly
like it belonged on her. I lean down, nuzzling my nose into her jaw, and she
happily stretches her neck out for me. I place a sweet and innocent kiss on
the mark. Like magic she melts into me, letting out a pleased sigh. I smirk,
"Gonna be so hard not to mark you up from now on. Found your precious
little spot, didn't I?"
"Harry..." She says warningly.
I hold back my laugh, and step away. I put my own coat on, grab my
keys, and hold my hand out for her. She's blushing furiously as she takes it.
I love knowing I have that effect on her, that I'm the only one that does. Her
body responds to mine in such a way that makes my heart beat so loudly
that sometimes it feels like I can't hear.
"This is so nice!" She whispers to me when the hostess is showing us to
our table. She led us to one near the window, Emma's face lighting up when
she sees the trees lit up outside, the view of the village down the highway
stunning.
We settle in, ordering appetizers and our entrees. I make sure to order us
a bottle of wine, not showing Emma the price of the one I picked out.
I still didn't understand how and why this was so easy. Our conversation
flowed smoothly, going from topic to topic, and neither of us ever getting
bored. She even opened up more about her childhood, telling me about how
it was growing up with a single mom. Sometimes I would think that there
was nothing more we could learn about each other, but then she would
bring up something like that and I would get to see that honest vulnerability
that she so readily gave me. It made me more open and honest, as well,
seeing her give herself to me with no hesitation.
"Emma, I wanted to thank you."
She furrowed her eyebrows, swallowing her steak, "For what?"
"You have no idea how much you've helped me with my anxiety." I tell
her sincerely, "I never thought that I would be able to have a day without
feeling that... pressure on my chest, but you've given me three."
Her eyes soften, "You don't need to thank me for that-"
"Yes, I do." I pressed, "It just means so much to me that you even care."
"Of course I care. How could I not?" She says to me.
 "You would be surprised at how many people don't even see it."
She frowns, "That's not because someone doesn't care, Harry. You're just
very good at hiding it."
"You saw it."
"Yeah, well I'm special." She says playfully.
I smile, "Yes, you are."
Our eyes lock once again, refusing to leave the warmth we provide each
other. My hand comes up to tuck her hair behind her ear, revealing the dark
spot I had marked her with yet again. My thumb grazed over it gently, and
then we were both leaning in for a breathtaking kiss.
It was getting harder and harder not to tell her I was in love with her. It
took everything in me to keep it to myself until she was ready to be more. I
was leaving the ball in her court, like I had this entire time, wondering how
long it would take.
I would wait for years if I had to.
†††
She smiled softly at me when she saw the makeshift bed I had put
together in front of the fireplace. It wasn't much, just a few pillows and
blankets laid out, so we would be comfortable. Emma had been washing the
makeup off of her face in the bathroom while I did this. I was glad that she
hadn't taken her dress off. I wanted to enjoy her in it a bit longer.
I was a little nervous, because we were going to exchange gifts. In reality
I knew there was no reason to be, but that didn't stop my stomach from
fluttering like crazy. She handed me the gifts one by one, and I placed them
in-between our makeshift bed and the fire. I had turned the lights off except
the tree lights and the entrance lights, so we were surrounded by the warm
glow of the fire. This was probably the most romantic I had ever been with
another person. I had never tried this hard, or gotten someone a gift like
this. I had never cared for someone as I do for Emma.
"Do you want to go first or...?" She starts hesitantly.
I could tell she had the same nerves as I did, making me feel a little
better. I smile softly, "We can switch off." I suggest, "You can start and then
I'll go."
She takes a deep breath in and nods. My eyes soften and I cup her cheek,
"Angel, there's no need to be nervous. I'm gonna love whatever it is you got
me."
She gave me a look, "You're too good at this."
 "At what?" I chuckle, my own nervousness starting to slip away.
"This romance thing." She waves a hand around, "I knew I had you
pegged as a romantic."
"Never been one until you." I admit.
She blushes at my small confession, and instead of responding she hands
me my first present. I take it out of her hands, feeling how soft it is wrapped
up. I know immediately it's probably some form of clothing. I unwrap it,
smiling when I hold it up.
"It's where I went to university. I figured I stole your university jumper,
so I should replace it with mine." She says simply.
"Love it." I tell her, chuckling. The fabric is incredibly soft, and I could
already tell I would be wearing it all the time.
I hand her my first box, eyeing her as she very neatly opens it. A small
black velvet box made her pause. She looked up at me suspiciously, causing
me to smirk. My eyebrows raise, asking her to keep going. Almost
hesitantly she flips the lid up, her breath hitching when she sees it. Slowly
her hand holds up the ring she had been eyeing weeks ago. It was gold, the
top swirling itself into the shape of a rose.
"Is this..." She starts, still staring dreamily at the piece of jewelry.
"From the market." I finish for her, "I saw the way you looked at the ring,
so when you were distracted I bought it."
"Harry..." She started with water lining her eyes.
"Oh, angel, don't cry." My hand cups her cheek.
She smiles softly at me, "Sorry, I'm being stupid. Just haven't ever had
someone get me something like this. Don't even know how you bought it
right out from under me."
I chuckle and shrug, "Might have to get used to it, angel."
She gives me a look, "My turn."
I smirk when she bites her lip, excitement in her eyes when she hands me
an envelope. I open it quickly, pulling out the two rectangle pieces of paper.
I stare at them for a second not quite believing my eyes.
When I look up at her, I ask incredulously, "Are these for real?"
She nods emphatically, "You and me are seeing the Rolling Stones in
May. They'll be in Manchester, and I thought we could make a weekend of
it."
"We're going to see the Stones?" I ask, a giant grin appearing on my face.
She nods again and confirms, "We're seeing the Stones."
 "No fucking way!" I yell out and she laughs.
I set the tickets down carefully, and cup her face in my hands. Our lips
meet, both of us smiling through our embrace. I can't believe she bought us
tickets to my favorite band. They must've been so expensive. I know
because I've looked into tickets before.
"Thank you, angel. You have no idea how excited I am. This is
awesome."
She laughed again, "Well, it's also a present to me. They'll be my first
concert."
My brows scrunched up, "Wait, what? You've never been to a concert?"
She shakes her head, "No."
"So I get to be your first?"I ask cheekily.
She rolls her eyes, and pushes me away, "Alright, Romeo, what's next?"
I clear my throat, going for my last gift. It was the bracelet that I had
spotted along with the gold ring. She picked it out of another velvet box,
staring at it dreamily. The gold chain was made to look like the stems of
roses, connected by red roses. It was delicate and beautiful.
She pouted as her eyes flickered up to meet mine, "This is too much. I
saw how expenive this was, Harry."
"Em, stop. You deserve it." I tell her, taking it from her hands and
unclipping it. "Let me see it on you, angel."
Her face softened, holding her small wrist out for me. I secure it on her,
and take her hand. It looked perfect on her soft skin. I look back up at her,
her eyes filled with tears again and breathe out a laugh, "Do you like it?"
She sends me a look like I was stupid for asking, making me laugh again,
"Of course I do. I love it." She looks at it for a few seconds longer, her hand
squeezing mine before she looks at me, and says, "Okay, open my last
present."
She scoots a small square box towards me, wrapped in the same
snowflake covered wrapping paper as the rest of her gifts. It's revealed as a
leather case, similar to the jewelry boxes my gifts came in. I furrow my
brow, wondering what she got me when I lost my breath.
Inside was the most intricate watch I've ever seen. It had a black leather
strap, polished and high quality, the background of the clock a dark blue.
There were no numbers, replaced instead by small gold dots and lines
making up the constellations like the nights sky. It's so intricate with how
small everything was, so I brought it closer to my face to study it. Sure
enough I saw Orion's Belt, Ursa Major and Minor, and many other
constellations. It kind of looked like an astronomer's watch, but not as
confusing.
This must have cost a fortune. When I told her a few weeks ago that I had
lost my favorite watch I didn't think that she would go out and find me a
replacement. Honestly, I wasn't even sure she was listening to me when I
huffed about it one morning while she was putting on her makeup.
"I had them put something on the back." She says quietly, her hands
taking hold of the watch and turning it around.
She scooted closer to me on the floor, pillows keeping us comfortable.
On the back of the gold clock was another constellation. This one was
slightly bigger, and one I didn't recognize, above it a few words I couldn't
read. It looked like it was in Latin or something.
"That's the constellation Aquila, which stands for eagle in Latin." She
tells me, both of us looking at the watch, her thumb grazing over it.
"Why an eagle?" I ask her, turning to look at her.
She smiles, finally meeting my eyes, "The eagle is a signal for new
beginnings. Like us. And it's supposed to provide stamina and resilience to
endure difficulties. You summon an eagle when you are about to embark on
a challenge. I know it's scary for you to think about changing your life,
especially with your job. Maybe this can help guide your heart. Give you
the courage you need to find what you love to do."
"Angel..." My heart melts at her words. She put so much thought into this
gift. Now it was no longer a really great watch, but something that held
great meaning to me. No one had ever thought to get me something so
meaningful, and here was this beautiful woman I've known for only two
months getting me a gift that made me feel so... touched.
Her hand comes up to skim her knuckles across my cheek, and then
placing her small hand on my neck to caress her thumb along my jaw, "The
more I read up on eagles I thought it reminded me of you. They symbolize
honesty and truthfulness, and you've always been those to me. You let me in
when you needed someone, and I can't tell you how honored I am that you
chose me. They're also born leaders, and I know you don't really like being
the boss, but you just... you carry yourself in a way that demands respect
and reverence. People listen to you, Harry, whether you hate it or not, it's in
you. People who embody an eagle are willing to push the limits of self-
discovery and personal freedom." She smiles at this, "I think we do that
pretty well."
I don't know what to say. I'm actually speechless at her words. Emma has
completely broke down every wall I had built up since... well, since forever.
And she did it so easily. The fact that she could see me so clearly was proof
of that. While she had spoken so highly of me, she had also found a way to
inspire me. Never had I been more tempted to figure out my life, make it
better, than I do right at this moment.
Because I wanted to be better for her.
She led me to this place of self-discovery that I had no idea I desperately
needed. For years something has always felt... off, like there was something
missing or wrong with me. The overwhelming feeling of failure seeping in
at every moment. So much that I got used to it enough to think that was just
how I was supposed to feel. She's opened my eyes to a world of possibilities
that I craved now.
She was my eagle.
She is my new beginning. She is giving me the strength to embark on a
new journey. She's guiding me through the dark.
"The inscription... it says Astra Inclinant, Sed Non Obligant, which
means The Stars Incline Us, They Do Not Bind Us. Life may have thrown
you in this direction, it might seem like this is your path, but we are all
given free will. We can all change the course of our fate."
My eyebrows scrunch up, emotion filling my senses. She believed in me
so vigorously, profoundly, that it had seeped into my very being. Emma
made me feel like I could conquer the world. She looked at me like I was
her world.
Yet she was the one to say in a whisper, "You're looking at me like that
again."
"I know."
I couldn't stop myself from leaning forward and capturing her lips in
mine. I needed to tell her everything I couldn't speak through this kiss. I put
every ounce of care and passion and love into it. My hand held the back of
her neck, pulling her in close while our tongues caressed each others.
I don't think I've ever shared a kiss like this. She was giving me
everything I gave her. I could feel the passion dripping out of her, her hands
now holding the sides of my face gently, the pressure and need she exhibits
through her lips. It's making me hazy and blissful than anything ever before.
 A rough breath leaves my nose, the smallest whine escapes my throat as
it's not enough. I need more. I need her to understand what this means to
me. What she means to me.
Slowly I push her down to lay on her back, me hovering over her, lying
on the pillows. Our kiss never falters, my body resting on hers. The heat of
the fire next to us feels surreal in a way, our own heat beginning to build
and distract us. Her hands slip down to my chest and around my back. The
faint feeling of her nails clenching and scratching down my back familiar,
yet completely different. This was slow, and instead it felt as if it was her
way of getting out some of that intense feeling that was also building in me.
It was like I could explode at any moment. Emotions cascading through
my body - head to toe - so powerfully I was almost convinced I couldn't
handle it.
I separated for just a moment to gather my breath, feeling lightheaded
from lack of air and just her. She whimpered at the loss of my warmth, so I
surged back down, encasing her bottom lip between mine. I nibbled and
teased with my tongue before, once again, slipping into her mouth. Her own
tongue met mine with renewed fervor, our hands now unencumbered.
Her delicate, soft hands found their way up the back of my shirt, while
mine cupped her cheek and took hold of her thigh. I held it up and tight to
my body, her foot hooking and pushing my hips closer to hers. It was
obvious what this was doing to me, my bulge pressing against her center
tantalizingly slow. The smallest roll of my hips causes her to mewl into my
mouth.
My hand moved up her thigh, dress around her waist now, so I led a path
of fire from her knee to cup her succulent ass. I groped sensually, her own
hips starting to roll into mine. We took our time, never rushing or getting
too ahead of ourselves. We both knew what was happening, and neither of
us was willing to spoil the moment.
Eventually, her hands came back to my chest, fingers taking their time to
unbutton my shirt. She pushed it off my shoulders, and clawed down my
chest painfully slow. She clenched the top of my pants, pulling me in as
tight as she could to her heated core. I let her unbuckle my belt and toss it to
the side before I needed to breathe again.
She was quite literally taking my breath away, and I could tell now she
needed it too. We were gasping for air, eyes gazing into each other as she
unbuttons my trousers and unzips them. My dilated eyes take in the flush of
her cheeks and glossiness of her eyes, clear emotion in them as she strips
me down. I aide her in taking off my pants, underwear following quickly.
I was completely naked on top of her, my erection pressing into her silk
panties. I sit us up, so I can strip her dress off of her, the soft fabric getting
stuck on her breasts when I try and pull it over her head. She snorts, helping
me out when I huff out in frustration. Her smile is blinding when I finally
get her free, lips crashing into mine to restart our passionate embrace. I can
feel her smile against my lips, and I decide right then and there that it might
be may favorite way to kiss her.
Her smiling is something I never want to forget. The feeling of her
curved lips against mine speeding up the already fast beat of my heart. It
feels as if it's about to tear through my chest with how fiercely it's beating,
but I don't care. I could die a happy man knowing the last thing I did was
make love to my angel.
My fingers easily unclasp her strapless bra, pulling it away from her
body, so I could feel her against my naked chest. I lay us down again, hands
finding her underwear, and start pulling them down her legs. I have to let go
of our kiss to do this, our eyes immediately opening, never leaving the other
as I slink down her body.
When she's finally free from her clothes, I kiss up her body, her legs
parting to let me in. I lick up her slit just for a taste, pecking a kiss into her
needy clit, and make my way up her stomach and chest. I kiss both her
nipples, sucking them into my mouth and rolling them with my tongue. I
need every bit of her to feel how much I love her.
As I kiss and nibble up her neck, darkening the bruises from the night
before, I slip a finger into her. She keens as I slowly pull out and push back
in, opening her up for me. She's so incredibly tight that I'm not sure how I
could fit in, but her body was made for mine. She would accept me always.
I take my time, caressing her G-spot until she was weeping around my
finger, adding another one to the mix. Our kiss was becoming more
uncoordinated, both of us focused on what my fingers were doing to her. I
knew she was getting close, the sensual rolling of her hips cluing me in.
As much as I wanted her to cum, I needed it to be around my cock, so I
pull my fingers out for the last time, wiping them clean with my mouth
before I felt her take hold of me and place her at my entrance. I held my
breath as our eyes held such fire, her blue ones sending shocks through my
body. I pressed in slowly, her walls swallowing my throbbing cock greedily.
She was so slick that I didn't find much resistance, but she hugged me like I
had never felt before.
"Emma..." I breathed out her name, my elbow resting on a pillow, fingers
threading through her hair.
Her mouth was wide open, eyes glazed over in pleasure at just the feeling
of my filling her up. Her hands clawed into my back, reminding me that
even though we were making love, it was still us. There was still that edge.
And I fucking loved that.
It felt like it took me forever to bury myself inside her, feeling every tiny
bit of my sensitive length engrossed by her. Once I had gone as deep as
possible I paused, forehead coming down to rest on hers. She was breathing
heavily, hands slipping to cup my face, thumbs caressing my cheeks.
The intimacy was frightening, never having given myself to someone like
this before. The pleasure even more than normal. The emotions running
through us spurring on our bliss. I already knew without moving that this
would be the most intense orgasm I would ever have.
At the same pace as before, I pulled out of her to my tip. She exhaled a
long sigh, rolling her head back and closing her eyes. I brought my lips to
her neck, rolling my hips back into her.
I kept our rhythm, slow and alluring. She became wetter and wetter, the
sound of me slipping in and out of her making me nearly growl into her
heated skin. Her legs came up to wrap around my lower back, so my hand
blindly reached out to find an unused pillow to place under her hips. This
gave her a new angle to enjoy, heels digging into my ass. She moans
breathily, fingers combing through my hair as we met over and over again.
Our climaxes were building slowly, but I didn't mind. This heavenly state
we were in was one I would be fine living in forever. I don't even care if I
cum at this point. I almost want to beg and plead for her to let me live
inside her, rolling my hips into her over and over again.
I knew at this rate that I would cum before her. I knew she needed more
from me, however good I was making her feel. My hand came down in-
between us, thumb finding her clit as if it was magnetic. Matching the pace
of my thrusts, I circled her pulsing nub.
She gasped at the feeling, pulling me from her neck, and holding me over
her blissed out face. Our noses nudged, lips ghosting, as we breathed each
other in. I never sped up. No, I listened to my body as it told me to make
this last. To cherish our first time.
 The room around us was filled with gasps and moans, a song so enticing
I was tempted to record it. Instead, I memorized it, locking it away in my
mind. Every second of this experience was imprinted in me.
"Harry..." She moans, our eyes opening.
My heart clenches at the sound as she clenches around me. Her walls
start to flutter, so I press down on her clit harder, keeping the agonizingly
slow pace I had set for us. Her hips met mine as I watched her start to fall
over the edge. I had been holding my own climax for several minutes,
knowing I was leaking profusely inside her.
Never had I thought it was possible to feel this much ecstasy from
something like this. I had always scoffed at the idea of making love, and
even when I had first started having sex, this slower, basic, version was
never enough for the girl.
But Emma...
Emma was made for me. Her pussy responded to me and only me, and
my cock was only hard for her. No matter what pace, rhythm, gentleness, or
roughness we partook in, we would always find a way. We would always
end at the same point.
She would always cry out at she fell over the edge, pupils blown out as
they stare into mine, her most vulnerable state only available for me. Her
walls clamped down so hard, a rush of cum covering my spent cock, that I
faltered in my thrusts. My own jaw dropped at the intense climax rushing
through me, sending me into a state of bliss I had never known. I only felt
her.
Her weeping pussy. Her soft hands holding my face above hers. Her
strong thighs wrapped around me, holding me together singlehandedly.
My forehead laid against hers, breaths coming out raggedly as I shot
several spurts of hot cum inside her. I knew she felt every drop of it, the
smallest of gasps heard every time more cum would escape me.
It felt like an eternity, buried deep inside her, wrapped up in her arms,
legs, and pussy. My body collapsed into hers, face finding its home in her
neck. She was murmuring nonsense into my ear, clearly as out of it as I
was. The sound of her low, smooth-as-velvet voice was calming my heart.
There was a point that it was beating so fast, I thought it might cease to
work. Now it seemed to have gotten back under control, only with the help
of my angel.
 As my high slipped away, my lips started pecking away at her hot,
sweaty skin. Lazy kisses were spread all over her chest and neck, lips
gliding over her jaw until I found her own. She welcomed my embrace
emphatically.
I never wanted this to end. I never wanted to slip out of her. I never
wanted to leave our cottage. I never wanted to leave her.
Fuck, I needed her.
I needed her in the same way I needed air. I felt tears come to my eyes,
squeezing them shut, so as not to actually cry. A few months ago I would've
scoffed at the idea of crying out of happiness after making love to the
woman of my dreams for the first time, but now I had almost expected it. I
was so incredibly whipped for her. Emma had given me back the ability to
feel. Something I had lost so long ago. I had finally found that missing
piece.
As we kissed slowly and lovingly, I pulled away just a second to whisper
out, "Angel, my angel..."
And when my lips met hers, I got that beautiful smile.

Aquila for my loves, J

Chapter Thirty-Eight

EMMA
I didn't want to say goodbye.
We had been trying for the last half hour, instead kissing by the door after
Harry helped bring my bags in. He had me pinned against the door, lips
working feverishly against mine. I could feel how badly he didn't want to
let go. He wanted to make this last for as long as possible. I knew Lu was
waiting- probably impatiently - for him, and eventually he would have to
walk out that door. But I would take my time. I would enjoy the passion he
kissed me with, the feel of his fingers digging into my skin.
Waking up next to him by the fire was one of the best moments of my
life. The sleepiness in his eyes made my heart melt, the soft smile he gave
me before nudging my chin up, so he could bury his face into my neck
making me fall even harder.
I had never experienced anything like last night ever in my life. I thought
I had been made love to before, or at least the mechanics of it had been
done. But now that I had had that moment with Harry, I realized that no one
else could make love to me. It was just him. Only Harry held that power.
I knew it had effected him equally, the vulnerability playing in his eyes
when he looked down at me, pouring everything into his movements. We
had shared something so immensely powerful that now being separated
from him seemed like torture. I didn't know how I was going to sleep for
the next week, or be able to not mope around my mum.
Oh god, she is going to be a nightmare. She'll get every juicy detail out of
me about Harry probably within the first few minutes. I know she had been
on pins and needles waiting to hear about him.
"Don't want to leave." He mumbles against my lips, clearly pouting.
I smile, "Don't want you too."
 "How about we ditch everyone and spend Christmas together?" He asked
jokingly, but I knew there was a sense of seriousness.
"Mmm, fly off to the Bahamas? Get really great tans..."
"Drink fruity cocktails by the ocean..."
My arms wrap around his neck tighter, bringing him in as close as
possible, "Spend all day in bed."
He groans in frustration, "Okay, we have to stop, or I really am never
leaving you."
I laugh, heart swelling with emotion, "You probably should get going..."
He doesn't miss the remorse laced in my voice, "Probably."
"Lu's waiting for you."
He nods, "Yeah, she is."
I sigh, studying his face. His lips are in a frown, so different than I had
seen them all weekend. Eyes tired and I started to see that familiar weight
he held with him at all times. My thumb came up to graze under his eye and
follow his cheekbone, "Just a little over a week."
"Just a little over a week." He repeats to himself, trying to not make it
seem so long.
My heart clenches, "I'll call you every night."
He smiles softly at me, "Can you call me tonight? And tomorrow
morning, so I know you're safe?"
I knew another reason he was so reluctant to leave was because he was
afraid that Jake might come back. He was really apprehensive of letting me
stay by myself for the night before heading out tomorrow to my mom's. But
he knew I wouldn't have wanted him to coddle me. I had taken the proper
precautions, and I knew I was safe.
"I promise, baby. I'll be safe." I tell him.
"Just can't have anything happen to you." He whispers, leaning forward
to kiss me again.
My heart clenches painfully. I had never had anyone besides my mother
care so deeply for my wellbeing. I could easily see how desperate he was to
keep me safe, and I knew if something did happen he would never forgive
himself.
"I won't let anything happen to me, Harry." I say firmly, "I promise I'll be
safe. I'll call you tonight before I fall asleep. I'll call you when I wake up
tomorrow morning. And I'll call you when I'm in my car leaving, so that
way you know for sure."
 He closes his eyes and nods, "Okay."
"Okay."
Within seconds we're kissing again, more needy than before. This kiss
could easily lead to something, but his phone rings for the third time since
we had arrived. He groans against my mouth, separating and peeking at his
phone. Obviously, it was Lu, so he sends me a look and answers.
"Calm down. I'll be there in twenty." He says before hanging up, not even
letting her say anything.
I chuckle, "I guess it's time to say goodbye?"
"Unfortunately. Lu might castrate me if I take longer than twenty."
"Well, we can't have that."
Harry smiles, "I'll see you on New Year's Eve, okay? Call me."
"I miss you."
His eyes soften, giving me one last kiss, "You have no idea."
When he finally leaves, I'm left to an empty house. It feels weird to be
alone. I was so used to having Harry by my side, so my place felt
unnaturally quiet. I put my stuff in the wash, packing my bag for tomorrow,
so I could leave early. I was excited to see my mom. I hadn't spent a lot of
time with her this past year with everything that has happened.
I sent her off a quick text telling her the plan, an unknown number calling
me, so I sent it to voicemail. I figured it was a telemarketer, but checked the
voicemail anyways. I was surprised to hear Lauren's voice.
"Hey, Emma, it's Lauren. You know... Um, well, I got your number off of
Jake's phone, and I wanted to talk to you about something. Can you call me
back?"
I didn't know what to think of that. Lauren meant no harm, I knew that.
She was a sweet girl who had caused me a lot of pain without knowing, but
she had never reached out to me like this.
Without thinking I called her back, answering after the third ring,
"Emma?"
"Uh, yeah, hi Lauren. Just got your message..."
"Yeah, I need to talk to you about something. Can we meet up?" She asks
and I can sense the nervousness in her voice.
"Well, I'm busy tonight. Having dinner with a friend, and I'm leaving for
holiday tomorrow morning." I tell her.
"Can you squeeze me in before you head out?" She asks quickly, "It's
really important. I can meet you at a coffee house on your way out."
 "I guess I could do that." I answer her slowly, still unsure of everything,
"Um, I was going to leave around nine, so can you meet me at the coffee
place down the street from the school at, like, eight-thirty?"
"Definitely. Thank you again, Emma. This means a lot to me." Lauren
says sincerely.
"Yeah, of course. Well, uh, have a goodnight."
"See you tomorrow." She says before hanging up.
I sigh, tossing my phone aside, and collapsing on the couch. I stay like
this for a while, eventually falling asleep. I took about an hour nap, which
felt really good. Harry and I hadn't gotten much sleep last night, staying up
for hours talking and kissing. I had slept a little on the way home, Harry's
hand in mine the entire time.
I smiled, switching my clothes to the dryer, thinking about it all. I
couldn't believe how happy I was. I don't think I've ever felt like this, even
when I thought I was happy and content with my life. It was like I was on
cloud nine, and Millie noticed the moment she stepped through my door.
"I'm assuming your weekend away went well?" She asked, shoving a
piece of pizza in her mouth.
I didn't feel like cooking, and I would be gone for the next week
anyways, so I didn't want to fill my fridge only to have it all go bad by the
new year.
I blushed and cleared my throat, 'Uh, yeah. It was..." A huge smile
crosses my face, causing Millie to raise an eyebrow.
"Oh, shit, it went really well then."
I put my pizza down, and buried my face in my hands, "It was perfect.
He was so sweet, and look what he got me!"
I extend my hand adorning both pieces of jewelry, "He saw me looking at
these once, and bought them for me."
She smiles, "Did he like your presents?"
"Yeah, loved the tickets, and he wore the jumper today. I think he really
liked the watch too. I'm glad, because it cost me a fortune to get it
engraved."
"I'm glad you had such a good time, and I'm extra glad you and Harry got
your heads out of your asses and admitted you like each other." She gives
me a look, making me chuckle.
"Yeah, yeah, but how about you? Did you go to the doctor?" I ask her.
 "No, I'm fine, Em. Just had a little bit of pain one night and some
spotting. That's normal." She tells me.
My fingers fidget, "But you did call your doctor, right? At least let them
know about it."
"Yes, I did. Emma, stop worrying about me. Everything's good. I've got
four more weeks left of having this monster inside of me before you get
your godchild."
My heart stops, as I stare wide-eyed at her, "Wh-what?"
She smiles at me, "That was my way of asking you to be my kids
godmother."
Instantly, tears filled my eyes, "Really?"
Millie laughs, sipping her hands on a napkin before wiping a stray tear
off my cheek, "Don't know why you're so surprised. You've quite literally
taken care of me this whole time. Only reason I'm so well fed, and you've
got me set up with affordable day care. I mean, it's the least I could do to
thank you."
"I would love to be a godmother." I tell her, taking a deep breath, "Are
you sure you don't want to keep that title for your sister or something?"
She shakes her head, "No, it belongs to you. You're the only choice."
"Have you talked to them?" I probe further.
She sighs, "No, but my mom called the other day wondering if she could
come up sometime next month. I didn't have the heart to tell her no. She
sounded so sad."
"Millie, I'm sure if you give them the chance they won't disappoint-"
"They won't like that I'm having a child out of wedlock." She says firmly,
jaw set, "They'll hate the fact that I don't even know where the father is.
They won't want to talk to me after that."
I frown. I know Millie came from a Catholic background, one that was
pretty strict, but I just couldn't imagine a parent doing that. Admittedly, I
come from a not very religious household, raised by a single mother, and
that made us all the closer. She was my rock, and I told her everything, so to
keep something like that a secret would never even cross my mind. All I
could really do for Millie was be there for her.
"Well, I'll always talk to you. You're my honorary little sister, you know
that?" I tell her.
She smiles, "Stop, you're making me blush."
 I chuckle, "Want to watch a movie or something? We still have that ice
cream from last time."
"Oh, yes! I have been craving that for days!"
†††
By the next morning, I was packed and ready to go, turning off all my
lights, and locking my door. I walked down the hall towards the elevator,
and got the most unwelcome surprise.
"Emma?"
"Jake?"
I immediately take a step back, tightening my keys in my fist. His eyes
narrowed, "I thought you were gone for the whole week?"
I raised an eyebrow, "Pretty much. Was only home for the night. Heading
to my moms now, so if you don't mind..." I try and walk past him, but he
grabs my arm.
Before I could push him away, he lets go. "Emma, will you just wait? I
was going to leave this for you, but I figured I would just give it to you."
He sticks out his hand, and I see a note. "I don't need that-"
"Please, Em, just take it."
I give him a good look, noting how sincere he looks. He was always
good at this part. How he would seem remorseful or earnest. It was part of
the reason I fell for him. His outward persona being the nice guy. His looks
supported it, innocent blonde hair, blue eyes, and soft face. But I knew it
could all change in a second.
To placate him, I huff out a, "Fine," taking the letter from his hands,
knowing I didn't want him to get angry.
I go to turn around when he grabs me once more, "What's that?"
"Huh?" I ask confusedly, seeing the anger suddenly flare up in his eyes.
He's staring at my neck, jaw set, and it hits me that he's looking at the love
bites I let Harry give me over the weekend. "Don't touch me." I tear my arm
away this time, "Leave me alone, Jake."
"So what you're letting him mark you up like that?" He was not happy. I
hadn't let him do that either, so the sight of them on me triggered him,
"You're his little whore, aren't you?"
"Jake, shut the hell up. I'm so sick of this!" I say loudly, losing my
temper, "I do not belong to you. I can do whatever I want with whoever I
want, and if I want that to be Harry then it will be."
 He flinches at Harry's name, like it was poison spewing out of my mouth.
He steps closer, "I know you, Emma. I know you hate hickeys, because of
our job and you think they look trashy." His hand comes up to touch one,
"And you're right. You look like trash."
His hand moves to encase my neck, but my hand flies up and twists his
wrists. It was a simple move that Mike had taught me, but very effective.
His whole upper body twisted as I tightened my grip and bent his wrist at an
even more extreme angle. Behind him one of my neighbors stepped out, an
elderly man who was quite kind. I let go of him and pushed Jake away. His
uninjured hand immediately flew to the one he had used to touch me. My
neighbor noticed us, narrowing his eyes at my cold demeanor. I had always
been quite nice to my neighbors, so for him to see me scowl even a little
was a big deal.
Jake was furious, eyes blazing, and hand clutching his red and bruising
wrist, obviously surprised that I had done that. But he also seemed surprised
at himself. I don't think he realized what he was doing. I'm not even sure if
he really meant to make it seem like he was about to strangle me.
Neither of us said anything, my neighbor, Carl, coming up, "Good
morning, Emma. How are you?"
I smile politely, "I'm good, Carl, you?"
"Not too bad. You going down?" He motions towards the elevator.
I nod, joining him when the doors open. He looked at Jake expectantly,
"Young man, you coming with?"
I could hear the slight edge to Carl's voice, knowing that he knew
whatever had just happened was not friendly.
Jake just shakes his head, looking more confused. I sigh as the doors
shut. Carl doesn't say anything on the way down, a polite goodbye as I
make my way to my car. I get in quickly, not waiting around for Jake to find
me.
What he did was serious, whether or not he realized or meant to do it. I
had been hesitant to tell Lauren about my past with Jake, but at this point it
could be dangerous for me not to. I didn't want her to get hurt, because if he
was treating me this way then there was a good chance he would treat her
the same.
I felt like I needed to take a shower, the smallest touch from him making
me feel grimy and dirty. I shook my head, trying desperately to get my
thoughts straightened out, and took a few deep breaths. My heart was
hammering in my chest, reality coming down on me hard.
I had felt - even if it was for a split second - Jake's hand around my
throat.
I didn't care if he didn't mean it, or he didn't realize what he was doing.
He had made a move subconsciously to hurt me. He easily could've
overpowered me if I wouldn't have moved fast. I had no doubt in my mind
that once Jake started he wouldn't stop. His anger was consuming, making
him blindly lash out, and the alcohol I was sure was in his system, whether
from drinking early morning or leftover from the night before, would only
egg him on.
I had seen it in his eyes. The flash of pure hatred. Not only for me, but
for Harry. The way he reacted when I said his name was like nothing I
hadn't seen before. He had flinched as if I had hit him myself. If Jake would
hurt me, because I was no longer under his spell, then surely he wouldn't
think twice of hurting Harry.
I was working myself up, I knew that, but the blood pumping through my
body felt like it was pulsing. I had been so close to breaking my promise to
Harry, and I dreaded the fact that I had to tell him. I would be lucky if he
didn't drive to me the moment the words left my lips.
It was the reason why I was going to wait until tonight to tell him. I
knew, without a doubt, that if I called him right now he would be driving
down to take me to his. Overprotective wouldn't even be the right word for
what Harry would be, and as sweet as it is that he cares so deeply for me, I
didn't want that.
I had proved that I could take care of myself. Not even I had been
entirely sure that I would be able to, but I didn't even have to think before
grabbing his wrist and do the move that Mike taught me just two weeks
previously.
There was a sense of pride within me at this moment, now overtaking
that initial panic and dread. I don't think I had ever really felt proud of
myself before. I had never had a reason to, honestly. Yet today I had done
what I had never been able to do before.
I made Jake silent.
He couldn't say a single word after I had stopped him. I didn't think that
was even possible. The asshole never shut up. And it could come to bite me
in the ass, but at this moment I was elated.
 When I parked my car on the street and entered the shoppe, I noticed
she's already sitting at a table. I walk over to her, a thin smile on my face.
She returns it, but I can see how anxious she looks right now.
"Hey." She says.
I nod my head once, "What did you want to talk about?"
"Well... this is kind of awkward, but," she swallows hard, "did you and
Jake date?"
Okay then, that made my decision easier.
"Uh, yeah, we did." I admit, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. It was
over by then, and I didn't want to make things awkward between us."
"No, don't worry about that. You didn't owe me anything." She ensures,
"What I was wondering was if he, uh, drank a lot when he was with you."
My eyes softened, understanding where she was going, "He definitely
drank, but I have noticed lately he seems to have... well, gone off the rails, I
guess?"
"What do you mean lately?" She asks, "Have you two been talking?"
I purse my lips knowing this was it. This was my chance to tell her,
"Lauren, when Jake broke up with me we were still sleeping together for a
few months, then he told me he was interested in you and we ended things
all together." I clear my throat, looking down at the tea she had ordered us,
"He started to call me when he was drunk. Uh, say some... not nice things.
If I hung up or didn't answer he would spam me with texts for hours. This
was happening almost every week, and in the last three or four months it's
been more frequent. I think it's obvious how he's drunk almost every night,
am I wrong?"
She looks away, "No, it's gotten out of hand. But when you two were
together you never noticed?"
I thought about it for a moment, "I was blind when we were together,
honestly. Looking back I would say yes, but at the time no."
"Has he ever gotten violent with you when he was drunk?"
I froze, "Has he gotten violent with you?" She looked away quickly,
"Lauren, has he ever gotten violent with you?" I ask again, this time slower
and more firm.
She bit her lip, "Just once." She admits.
Dread spreads through my body, accompanied by guilt.
"What do you mean just once? Lauren, that's already too many." I tell her.
 I saw the build up of tears in her eyes, making me soften my face. She
opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when nothing came out. I let her
gather herself for a minute before she swallowed down her emotion, and
said, "It happened this weekend. Came knocking on my door belligerently
drunk, and when I tried to calm him down he slapped me."
My face scrunches up, eyes filling with sympathy. I could see her trying
to keep her head held high, but she didn't need to. It was okay for her to be
emotional over this. "I'm so sorry, babe. You should know that my friend
who lives down the hall told me that he was at my place this weekend
completely drunk. He was pissed I wasn't there, and he must've gone to see
you." I took a deep breath, deciding to share with her what I only planned to
tell Harry and the police, "And then he was in my apartment building this
morning when I was leaving. Things got heated between us, and I don't
know if he was actually trying to hurt me, but he put his hand around my
neck-"
"Oh my god, Emma!" She gasps, wide eyes filled with horror.
"I took care of it. I've been taking self-defense classes, so I twisted his
wrist pretty bad." I waved it off, knowing how serious it was, but not
wanting to worry her too much.
Her face blanches, "He made you feel so unsafe that you started self-
defense classes?"
I sigh, "Once he saw me with another guy, he started to get more
aggressive. I got more calls, and he started to harass m at the school-"
"Are you serious? Why didn't you tell anyone?" She asks.
I shake my head slowly, "I don't know. Honestly, I don't. It's like... I
guess through the two years we dated he broke me down so much, and
when he ended things I felt like nothing. Almost like I deserved it. And then
I met Harry, and he showed me I deserved the farthest from that. I blocked
Jake's number and started training just in case. I didn't think he would ever
do anything until today. Maybe if he was drunk, but not in the morning
when he was mostly sober."
"I'm so sorry, Emma. I had no clue he was doing that stuff to you. Oh my
god, you must have been terrified-"
"No, I'm sorry, Lauren. If I would've said something earlier then maybe
you wouldn't have gotten hurt." I interrupt her.
"What? No, I don't blame you." She insists, "Jake's the only one who's at
fault."
 But that wasn't completely true. My inability to stand up for myself, to
see what was actually happening, made it possible for him to hurt someone
else. I should've been strong enough to report him or warn Lauren.
"What are you going to do?" I ask her.
"Well, I'm breaking up with him. I just wanted to talk to you first,
because I knew something was up between you two." She pauses before she
continues hesitantly, "You know, it's crazy. I always grew up thinking if a
man ever hit me then that would be it. I would leave straight away, but I had
actually considered forgiving him. I don't... I don't even know how that
crossed my mind."
I send her a sad smile, "Jake is very good at emotionally manipulating
you without you realizing. He'll make you feel so special that you don't
think anyone could love you like he does. He somehow convinces people
that without his love they won't survive. It doesn't make you weak, Lauren.
It makes you human. And I know you're stronger than I ever was, because I
never would've had the balls to call me and want to talk."
She sends me back a sad smile, "You seem to have this all figured out."
I shrug, "Took me a while, and needed a lot of support, but I got there."
"So Harry's treating you well then?" She asks.
I breathe out a small laugh, "Yeah, he's amazing. Can you promise me
one thing?"
"Yeah."
"Be careful. I don't know how you plan on breaking up with him, but he
won't take it well. He's a modern day narcissist. He needs to be the one in
control always."
She sighs, "I know. I have to figure that out. Think I'll do it out in public,
and stay at a friends house for the night."
"Will you report him?"
She hesitates, "I've got no proof. I don't even have a mark, so I've got no
case. Just my word, and you know how valuable that is."
I nod solemnly, "Unfortunately. Oh, by the way, if you wanted any proof
of what I've said or anything..." I dig into my purse for the note Jake gave
me. I was going to throw it away, but this might be good for her. To see his
true spirit written down in his own writing, because I knew how
manipulative he could be, and how he could probably sway her back into
loving him. "It's either going to be a cruel note about how much of a whore
I am, or a fake apology suggesting we stay friends or maybe even fuck
buddies. I don't care to read it, but I don't want him to have a chance at
changing your mind."
She took it hesitantly, "Are you sure you're okay with me reading this?"
I shrug, "Sure, why not. Doesn't mean anything to me anymore. He can't
get to me like he used to."
She smiles at me, "You know, I've always admired you. Always thought
you carried yourself so well, and even though you were quiet and kept to
yourself, I always wanted to be your friend. I get now why you never
seemed that interested."
"It hurt for a while. To see you two so happy. I wanted that to be me." I
tell her.
"It wasn't all that great. Plus, he's lousy in bed." She adds smugly.
I laugh at this, "He really is, isn't he?"
She nods, "Wasted a lot of great fake orgasms with him."
I looked around laughing to see if anyone had heard, but found no one
had gave a shit. I look back at Lauren, "I really am sorry, Lauren. You didn't
deserve any of this."
"Neither did you." She tells me.
I can see the sadness in her eyes, and a little bit of shame. I knew she was
embarrassed to have found herself in this situation. I knew most women
would. Every single one of us grew up thinking we would never be in an
abusive relationship. I'm sure we've all wondered why a woman doesn't just
leave, but it's never that simple. Even now, when Lauren is sure she's going
to walk away, to actually do it is scary. She doesn't know how he'll react.
Doing it in private is too dangerous, and even if she did it in public he knew
where she lived.
It was like me. As much as I could tell him to leave me alone, he very
easily could show up at my place at any time. Hell, he's already done that.
That's the point where people start saying, "Well, why didn't you say
anything? Why didn't you report him?" but they fail to understand that there
is never a right time. Was I really going to go to a police station and try and
file a report or restraining order against Jake over a few texts and some
phone calls? The police would laugh in my face, and tell me to get over it.
Okay, so he called me some names to my face before, but that was all he
said she said. I had no proof of conversations and Jake's already proven a
master of manipulation.
 And now, because I was so stupid, I really had no proof. I had deleted
months worth of texts that would've proven his harassment. To be fair, I
never thought I would be put in the position. I honestly never believed Jake
would go this far. But he had hit Lauren and had been aggressive with me,
and it was time to do something about it.
Before leaving, I made Lauren promise me to call me after she broke up
with him, so I knew she was okay. The thought made me remember to send
a text to Harry. I felt bad not telling him right away, but knew I needed to
get my thoughts situated before.
The whole ride up I was consumed with my thoughts on Jake, Lauren,
and Harry. I couldn't shake the guilty feeling rolling through me that I
could've done something to prevent this from happening. We had an uphill
battle from here on out. But there were two of us, if I could convince
Lauren.
The moment my mother saw me, she knew something was off.
"Emma, what's going on?" She asked me after making a pot of my
favorite tea.
I sigh, "Too much."
"Is it all bad?"
"No," I tell her, "I've been really good lately. I just got some bad news
this morning."
She looks at me, the same blue eyes staring into mine, "Would you rather
tell me the good or bad stuff first? You know I'll get them out of you no
matter what."
I chuckle at this, "How about the bad first. That way I can end on a good
note."
She nods, "Okay, hopefully, this doesn't involve that Harry boy."
I grin, "No, mom, it does not involve your boy crush."
There was no shame in her face as she shrugged, "I still haven't seen a
picture of him, so I expect that to be in your presentation later."
"You're ridiculous." I laugh out, "Okay, well, long story short: Jake's a
piece of shit who won't leave me alone. I met with his soon-to-be ex-
girlfriend, and she told me some things that happened between them. And
I'll probably be trying to get a restraining order."
She looks at me seriously, "What? Emma, you're being harassed and
didn't tell me?"
 I cringed, "I didn't realize I was being harassed until just recently. I've
blocked his number, told him to stay away, but he doesn't listen. He's got a
drinking problem, and it's completely out of control." I continue to tell her
of the situation, her getting increasingly angry. I tell it as fast as possible,
and she does seem to calm down when I tell her how protective Harry has
been of me.
"So, the good news?" She asks, and I knew she couldn't hear anymore of
what I've been put through by a guy she had never liked.
"Uh, right..." A stupid smile spread on my face, "So, I'm kind of dating
someone."
"Harry?" She presses knowingly, "And what do you mean by kind of?"
"I mean, we're dating, but not like boyfriend and girlfriend." I tell her.
She raises her eyebrows, "Okay, well, that's a start. What else?"
I laugh, "We went on a mini-holiday this weekend. We both took Friday
off, left Thursday night and he booked us this cute cottage in a private
resort thing. It was amazing, and I've never felt closer to someone before."
She smiles at me, "So he's the real deal." I bite my lip and nod. "Show
me a picture. I've got to make sure my grand babies are going to be cute."
My face warmed, "Mom, I swear, when I introduce you to him you better
not say anything like that."
She feigns zipping her lips while I get my phone out. I pick a picture he
sent me from his phone, one of the ones Sarah took of us that first day. I
showed it to my mom, and immediately her eyes go big, "Wow."
I smirk, "I know."
"He is gorgeous. Look at those dimples." She mutters to herself, flipping
through more of the pictures of us, "I hope your kid takes after him."
"Hey!" I fake offense.
"Sorry, dear, but this is a man. I'm kind of jealous."
"Well, I've already warned him of you. He knows you might try and steal
him away." I send her a pointed look.
Her eyebrows raise, "With the way he looks at you. Psh, I don't stand a
chance."
I look over her shoulder to see which picture she was looking at to see
the one where we were transitioning positions. I had turned my head and
was giving him an amused look, because Sarah was being extra. His face
was bright as he looked at me, adoration plain and simple in his eyes. His
hand was mid-tuck with a strand of hair, and just looking at this made my
heart hurt.
Fuck, I missed him.
"Emma Everly." I look at my mom quickly, surprised to hear her
suddenly so stern, and to see her watching me carefully, "Are you in love
with this boy?"
I'm sure my face turns bright red, "Uh, well, I-"
Her jaw drops as I stumble, "Oh my god, you are."
I sigh, burying my face in my hands, elbows on the kitchen counter, "I
can't help it."
"Does he treat you right?" She asks.
I nod, "He treats me perfectly. He's so sweet, mom. He got me this ring
and bracelet," I show her my right hand, "from the holiday market. I was
looking at the ring and set it down, and he bought it for me for Christmas."
"But you guys aren't boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"No, we're taking it slow. I've still got all that stupid Jake stuff to deal
with, and I think he's worried about pushing me too fast."
"Emma, I don't want you to think that because of all the stuff with that
Jake boy that you have to put things off with Harry. If you love him, you
should tell him." She says firmly.
I bite my lip, "He told me he loved me."
"What, when? And you didn't say it back?" She asked bewildered.
"Well, he was half asleep, and he didn't remember in the morning, so I
wasn't sure if he meant- Ow!"
My mother had reached over to me, and smacked the back of my head,
"Really? Using that excuse. When he's half asleep is when he's the most
truthful!"
"Sorry, Jesus!" I grumble, "I was just shocked, because we weren't, like,
dating at the time, and I wasn't expecting it. Ugh, I've been overthinking
everything." I groan.
"Invite him over in the new year, and I'll straighten everything out."
I give my mom a look, "You are allowed nowhere near him until I
straighten everything out, you hear me? No showing up at my door
unannounced, thinking you might catch us there."
"No promises."
Chapter Thirty-Nine

HARRY
"Hey, angel, how are you?" I ask Emma.
I could just imagine the smile playing on her lips as she says, "I'm good.
How are you? Family wearing you down yet?"
I furrow my brows, something wasn't right. I could hear it in Emma's
voice, "Not yet. The kids and my brother and sister didn't arrive until
dinner, so it didn't give them much time to try and destroy me."
She breathes out a weak laugh, "Take some more pictures. Your nieces
and nephews are so adorable."
"Emma, are you sure you're okay?" I ask her.
I hear her sigh, "I've got to tell you something, Harry."
"Okay?" I waited patiently, sitting on the edge of my bed.
She took a deep breath before saying, "I ran into Jake on my way out of
town. He was trying to drop off a note at my door."
She paused, probably waiting for me to blow up. I don't blame her, my
entire body tensing immediately, jaw clenching, and my heart hammering in
my chest. I take a few deep breathes in myself to calm down, saying simply,
"Okay."
She was hesitant before continuing, "He was sober. Or at least not drunk,
who knows, really..."
"Emma, I'm trying to stay calm here, but you not telling me what
happened quicker is making it really hard." I say roughly.
"I'm sorry." She squeaked out, and I immediately felt regret.
"No, no, I'm sorry, angel. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or nervous.
I just can't stand this whole situation." I say softly into the phone, wishing I
could hold her face in my hands.
"I know. Me too." She takes one last breath before saying, "He seemed
relatively calm at first. He was putting on his favorite apology face, but he
noticed the hickeys you gave me, and that, uh, made him mad."
I close my eyes and count to five. When I'm done, I let out a breath and
ask, "What did he do?"
"At first he just touched my neck-" I stood up from the bed, and started
pacing my room, waiting painfully for her to continue, "but then he did this
thing... Harry, please don't freak out, because I'm fine and I handled it-"
"What did he do?" I said through gritted teeth. I open my window to get
some air, feeling like I was suffocating in my room. My hands were
shaking, one gripping my phone so tight I thought it would break in half.
"He started to wrap his hand around my neck. I don't know if he meant it
as a way to physically hurt me, or if he even knew what he was doing."
My breath was stolen away from me, knees nearly giving out, so I lean
my back against the wall, and grip my old dresser to keep me upright. The
image of it alone brings bile to the back of my throat. I knew something like
this would happen. I knew I should've postponed Lu and I leaving for
another day so I could stay with her.
"He didn't even get a chance to do anything. I grabbed his wrist and
twisted it. Mike taught me that move a few weeks ago. He backed off right
away. Think I might've actually hurt his wrist."
My heart slowed significantly, pride swelling at the thought of my angel
protecting herself. I was also immensely grateful for Mike in this moment.
"You're okay?" I choked out.
"Harry, you need to breathe, baby." She said, suddenly very worried,
"I'm perfectly fine. Not a scratch on my body, I promise."
I took a few more deep breaths, sliding my back down the wall to sit on
the floor, "I should've stayed."
"No, I handled it. If you were there, things could've been much worse."
She says firmly.
"I'm not afraid of him-"
"I don't give a shit if you're afraid of him or not, Harry. I care about the
fact that he would've tried to hurt you. He already hates your guts."
There was slight fear in her voice as she says this, and I can't hide the
small smile at her care, "Angel, he won't hurt me-"
"You don't know that. You should've seen the look in his eyes when I
mentioned you. If he could hurt me and Lauren then he would have no
problems going after you."
"Wait, Lauren? What are you talking about?" I asked confusedly.
 She sighed, "Yeah, I met Lauren for coffee before I left town. She called
and said she needed to talk to me. She wanted to know if Jake and I had
ever dated, and then asked about his drinking problem."
"Really?"
"Mhm, then she... she, uh, told me that he hit her this weekend. I think it
was the same night he was at my door drunk."
My heart hurt for her. When I had met Lauren, I was pleasantly surprised
at how nice she was considering how much of a dick head Jake was. But it
also made me even more worried for Emma. That could've been her that
night if we weren't gone. My hands were still shaking, so I tried to shake
them myself in the hopes that they studied, as I asked, "Is she okay?"
"I mean, as best as she can be. He slapped her, and there was no mark.
She was definitely trying to keep her head up high." She said tiredly.
She seemed exhausted, like today's events had wiped her out. I don't
blame her. I knew if I was in her position my anxiety would be at an all
time high. Also, I could practically hear the guilt pouring out of her. She
was probably thinking this was her fault for not saying anything or
reporting him, but that was the farthest from the truth.
"Angel, darling, you know this isn't your fault." I say firmly.
I heard a sniffle on the other line, making my heart clench, but her voice
was steady, "I feel like it is."
"The only person at fault here is Jake. You had no clue he was violent,
Em. You thought he was just a mean drunk, and you've told me that he
always treated Lauren with respect. You couldn't have known this was how
it would turn out." I try and convince her.
"If I wasn't such a coward-"
"Emma, stop right there. This is not your fault. You have done nothing
wrong, do you hear me? That man," I say with disgust dripping off my
tongue, "emotionally abused you for years. He manipulated you and tore
you down until he knew you couldn't do anything about it. You couldn't
have stopped what happened to Lauren. Do you really think she would've
listened to you? He would've played you off as the crazy ex-girlfriend.
Lauren obviously knew something was up that day we ran into them at the
market. She's a smart girl, and she's going to get out of that relationship
with your support and honesty." I wasn't sure my words were enough. I was
usually there to see her face when I was speaking to her, but now I was
working blindly. I couldn't hold her or kiss her. I just had to trust that I
could calm her like she could calm me with just her voice.
"It's like..." She starts, "I know it's not my fault, and Lauren told me she
doesn't blame me, but now I'm looking at this mess and I just- Ugh, I don't
know! My brain feels all raddled. He hit her, Harry. He physically hurt her,
and I feel sick to my stomach. I'm pissed at him. I'm pissed at Lauren for not
wanting to report it. But I'm more pissed at me, because I'm a huge fucking
hypocrite!"
I could sense she needed to vent, so I let her go. Her frustration was clear,
and once again I wish I was there to at least hold her hand.
"I have no right to be angry with Lauren. Zero. And maybe I'm more mad
at the system, because she's right. Even if she did report him it would go
absolutely nowhere. There's zero evidence, so the police would just take the
report. Do the bare minimum, and then nothing would happen except she
would piss off Jake even more. And I'm so worried about the whole thing,
because she's going to breakup with him and what if it goes terribly
wrong?"
"She's not doing it by herself-" I start to ask, feeling worried myself.
"No, she told me she's got them meeting at a public place tomorrow, and
she's got two of her guy friends that will be close by just in case. She's not
even going to stay at her place for the next few nights." Emma says with a
big sigh.
I felt more anger consume me. What these girls had to do to protect
themselves was ridiculous. Lauren didn't even feel comfortable staying in
her own home, because of him. I knew Emma was weary about her
apartment now, already making plans to have her stay with me for a few
days when we get back.
"I'm sorry, Em. I wish you didn't have to deal with all this. I wish you
never met him." I tell her, feeling just as exhausted.
She paused before saying, "But I wouldn't have met you."
My brows furrowed, "Huh?"
"If Jake had never broke my heart, I never would've joined the gym." She
says simply, "No matter how much pain he's caused me, I don't wish for it
to have never happened, because that means I wouldn't have you. I might
do a few things differently, of course, but I wouldn't trade meeting you for
not meeting Jake."
 I smiled at that, a little speechless. Of course she thought of it like this.
She was somehow finding the good in the bad.
"I guess I just hate the fact that you have to go through this." I tell her.
"I'm going to file a report when I get back. I think it's time."
I paused, "Really?"
"Yeah, I'm so sick of it, and maybe I can get a restraining order or
something. I don't know how that's going to work with our jobs, though..."
"Don't worry about that." I say, "Do what's best for you. You know I'll
support you, and you've got Oli too. Don't be afraid to use him."
"I know, Harry." She lets out a big sigh, "Why don't you tell me more
about what you did today. Want to hear all about those cute little kids."
I chuckle and start to tell her about something Sophie said during dinner.
I moved to the bed, feeling a lot steadier now. Emma had protected herself,
and I had never felt prouder in my life. She was so strong and powerful, and
now that she was going to take charge and file a harassment case against
him I knew I needed to stay calm, which was going to be very hard. She
didn't need me freaking out or fretting over her. She just needed my support.
And maybe my home.
Hours later as I stared up at my ceiling, saying goodnight to Emma long
ago, I couldn't get my brain to stop working. This whole situation was
frightening. It became real today how easily I could lose her. I knew she
was safe with her mom hours away from Jake, but I had only been gone for
less than twenty-four hours before he got his hands on her.
He would only get more angry, as well. The longer and stronger mine and
Emma's relationship became the more unhinged he would get. It was clear
he was mentally unable to handle the fact that Emma was happy without
him. He was so used to controlling her, even after he ended things, that now
that she was standing up for herself, denying him the chance to bring her
down, he was going to snap.
It sounded like he might have already.
And his drinking problem would only get worse from here on out. I hated
the fact that he worked with Emma. It worried me every day. I hated
knowing he was so close to her. It was a constant layer of stress added onto
me thinking about it. The way my body reacted tonight when she told me
what he did was proof of that. I had felt myself almost shut down at the
thought of him hurting her when I wasn't there to protect her, but my angel
didn't need me.
 I hope she broke that fucker's wrist.
I sighed and sat up, deciding to head downstairs to make some tea. I was
nowhere near sleep, and I knew my mum kept special chamomile tea in the
cupboard, so I made my way into the kitchen, startled to find my nephew
Jackson.
"Jack, what are you doing up?" I looked at the clock to see that it was
past midnight.
The six year old shrugged, a bag of marshmallows open in front of him,
and his mom's iPad playing a cartoon, "I couldn't sleep."
"Everything okay, buddy?" I ask, ruffling his hair as I pass him to start
the kettle.
"Yeah." He says simply, "Why are you up?"
I lean on the counter next to him, picking up a marshmallow for myself,
"Got a lot of stuff on my mind."
"Like what?"
I smirked, loving how inquisitive kids were, "Just got a friend I care
about a lot who is going through some... stuff."
"Got one of those." He says knowingly as he nods.
I chuckle, "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, Charlotte had a collection of beetles, but her cat got in and ate
them." Jackson told me sorrowfully.
I tried to suppress my smile, "Beetles, huh?"
"Yeah, she's a little weird, but she stuck up for me when some older kids
were making fun of me so she's my friend now." He says matter-of-factly.
"Sounds like she's a really good friend. I'm sorry about her beetles."
"We held a funeral for them during recess."
My smile was definitely showing now, "That's very sweet of you guys.
Why are you in the kitchen, by the way? Isn't it creepy with all the lights
off?"
He shakes his head, brown curls falling to his shoulders, "No, I'm not
scared of the dark. Wanted to watch something and I didn't want to wake
Matthew."
"That's very-"
"Jackson, what are you doing up?"
Both our heads whipped to the entryway, my mom standing there, hands
on her hips. Jackson looked back at me, eyes wide.
 "It is almost one in the morning. And Harry," she glares at me, "you
should know better. You're probably egging him on."
I raise my hands in offense, "Hey, I found him down here. Wasn't my
doing. I just wanted some tea."
Jackson gives me a look like I sold him out, but I just shrug. It's every
man for himself when it comes to my mum and her rage. Right then the
kettle starts to whistle, so I take it off the burner making sure it doesn't
wake anyone.
"Jackson, you need to get some sleep. Your dad is taking you all to the
zoo tomorrow morning, so you need all your energy." My mom tells the
kid, picking up the bag of marshmallows, and sealing it back up.
Jack's eyes light up, "We're going to the zoo?!"
I chuckle, playing with the tea bag while I wait for the water to cool
down. My mom brings her finger to her lips, "It's a secret. Now run
upstairs, and I better not see you up this late again."
He nods, saying a quick goodnight to me, and patters back to his room.
The kids always liked to stay with their grandma and grandpa when Lu and
I were in town, and it gave my siblings an excuse to have some alone time
with their wife.
"You okay, mom? Couldn't sleep?" I ask her, finally taking a sip of my
tea.
She shook her head, "Is there more hot water? Good, I need some of this.
Accidentally fell asleep and took a nap before dinner, so now I'm wide
awake. What's bothering you, honey?"
"What makes you think something's bothering me?" I ask her.
She raises her eyebrows at me, "Because I raised you, and know you only
drink chamomile when you're extra stressed."
I sigh, "I'm fine, I promise."
Sitting next to me, she gives me a knowing look, "Harry, I think we both
know I know you better than that."
A small smile graces my face, "Well, there's this girl..."
Her eyes immediately light up. I don't think I've spoken to her about my
love life since my last breakup, and knew she was always wondering about
it. "Is this the same girl Lu is convinced you're seeing."
I breathe out a laugh, shaking my head and pinching the bridge of my
nose, "Of course she said something. Uh, yeah it is. Lu doesn't know who
she is, but she saw some... incriminating evidence at my place."
 "Yes, she did mention the very cute pair of lace panties-"
"Jesus, did she tell you everything?" I groan.
"She did say that this girl has practically moved in. Got her clothes
hanging in the closet, and her very own toothbrush." She smirks at me.
I can't stop the smile that forms, "Yeah, she's over a lot."
"Well?"
"Her name's Emma. She's..." I take a deep breath, "she's amazing, mum.
Things are still kind of new between us. Just dating, not even official yet,
but-"
"But you're in love with her?" She asked bluntly.
My eyes widen and face blushes. I look away and rub my face with my
free hand. Grumbling, I say, "Been in love with her for a while."
"And you haven't told her?"
I shake my head, "No, she's, uh, had it rough the last year. She was dating
this," I clench my jaw, "piece of shit who manipulated and used her, but he
broke it off with her only to lead her on for months until he found someone
else. Then he's been harassing her-"
"What do you mean harassing?" She furrows her brows at me before
taking a sip of tea.
I took a deep breath to keep myself calm, "He gets drunk and calls her
asking to hook up, and then spams her phone with the most disgusting
messages when she says no. He's been doing that for months, and don't get
me started on what he says to her face."
"To her face? Is he stalking her?" My mother asks.
I rub my face once more before looking back at my mom, "Feels like it.
He works with her."
Understanding crosses my moms face, "Poor girl. Probably can't ever get
a moment's peace."
I took a deep breath before saying, "He showed up at her place today
when she was leaving to go to her moms for the holiday. She said he
touched her. Put his hand around her neck."
"Oh my god! Is she okay?"
I nod, "Yeah she took care of it. Me and Mike, we've been teaching her
some self-defense, and she twisted his wrist away from her. She's really
good. Fast learner and strong. I actually met her at my gym."
My mom smiled warmly at me, "She's really got you under your spell,
doesn't she?"
 I chuckle, "Yeah... She's so perfect, mum. Sometimes I don't even know
what I'm doing with her. She's so much better than me."
"Harry," she starts sternly, "don't say that. She's probably thinking the
same thing. Now why aren't you guys official, and why haven't I met her?"
I give her a look, "I just don't want to scare her off. She was really flighty
when we first started to hang out. And..." I sigh, "I'm so scared, mom."
"Why are you scared, honey?" She asks, combing my hair back.
"I, uh, I'm just-" taking a deep breath I continue, "Over the weekend I
realized how in love with her I am. She- she, um, knows about my anxiety
and everything." I glance at my mom who looked surprised. "I had a full on
panic attack a few weeks back, and she rushed to my side and calmed me
down. Spent the whole next day researching anxiety and how to control it.
But over the weekend, it all went away. Not a single moment did I feel
that," my hand comes up to my chest, "pressure that's always there."
I paused, trying to get my thoughts straight, so my mom said, "It sounds
like she's in love with you too."
I looked up at her, "I don't know. She wears her heart on her sleeve, but
for some reason I can't tell."
"Why don't you just tell her?"
"I feel like I have!" I exclaim, "I feel like I tell her every moment that
we're together. I just am so terrified of saying it out loud. What if she
doesn't feel that way or runs because it's all too fast? I don't think I could
live without her. I don't want to live without her."
"Harry, you're working yourself up." She says soothingly, "You need to
calm down. I think you're overthinking this. This girl, Emma, from what
you've told me just now loves you. Has she given you that flighty feeling
recently?"
I shake my head, swallowing down my emotion, "No, she's been really
open, but she doesn't want to tell anyone. That's why Lu doesn't know who
I'm with. Although, she would be ecstatic to learn my girl is Emma."
"Does she know Emma?"
"Yeah, she knows everyone. A little after we started to hang out, Mike
ran into us at a coffee shop and invited her out. Everyone loves her, and she
doesn't have a lot of friends, cause she's kind of shy. Gets nervous meeting
new people, and her old friends were awful." I tell her.
"Have you thought about how scary it might be for her?" My mom asks.
I turn my head, and frown, "What?"
 "Having her friends be your friends? Don't you think she thinks she
might lose them if something goes wrong?"
I open my mouth to speak, but close it when nothing comes out. I guess
she was right. I'm sure Emma was worried about that. She's become so
close to the girls, and all her other friends had ditched her the moment Jake
left her.
I groan, "Yeah, I bet that has something to do with it. I don't know how to
compete against that, though-"
"You don't have to compete, Harry. It's more of just reassuring her. Does
she have any other friends?"
I nod, "She's got her neighbor, Millie, who's a few years younger than us.
She's pregnant and Em watches over her. Been making her these giant
dinners on Sundays so she had something to eat all week. Millie's all by
herself, and can't work too much because she's so pregnant."
"That's so sweet of her." My mom says.
I smile, "She's the sweetest person I've ever met. You're going to love her,
mom."
"Can I see a picture?"
I nod, immediately picking my phone off of the counter. I pick a picture
we had taken at dinner Sunday night. We were sitting at the table, my arm
bringing her close to mine. She looked so beautiful that night, and my heart
clenched. I wished so intensely that she was here with me right now. If she
was then we would be fast asleep upstairs, cuddled and warm, her cold toes
running up and down my leg mindlessly.
"She's gorgeous, Harry." My mom says smiling, "No wonder you fell in
love with her. Look at that smile!"
I grin proudly, "I know. She's got the greatest smile, and her eyes... This
picture doesn't do them justice but they're this icy blue. Absolutely
stunning."
"Oh, honey..." My mom cups my cheek after she turns her head, "You
have to tell her."
I exhale a long breath, "I know." I'm silent for a moment, giving her my
phone, so she can see more pictures of us. "I'm just scared. I'm scared of my
feelings, her feelings. I'm scared of what could happen to her, if I'm not
there to protect her. Jake - her ex - he's unhinged and dangerous, and when
she told me what he nearly did today... I was close to having another
attack."
 My mom set my phone down and looked at me, "Do you know how
scared I was to admit to your father I was in love with him?"
My eyes met hers, "No, you always said it was love at first sight."
"No, your father says that." She says, "For me, well, I had to let go of a
lot of fears. I had never been in love, and I never planned to be. I honestly
thought I was one of those people who didn't need a man. And I don't. I
could survive without your father, but I don't want to. Once I admitted it to
myself, I had to get over my intense fear of rejection. You know how your
grandfather left me and my mom?" I nodded. "Well, it had left me with a lot
of issues that I had never dealt with. I thought all men would turn out like
him, and eventually leave me. But your father, he was very persistent, and
he loved me so much that after a while I couldn't deny it. The way you talk
about Emma... It's exactly how he spoke about me."
I blinked away the moisture in my eyes, "I want to tell her so bad." I say
quietly.
"Then just do it." She says simply, "I know you think you're not strong
enough to handle heartbreak. It's been a fear of yours since you and Carla.
And I also know you still feel guilty for what went down, and how
heartbroken she was." I looked away. "You are so strong, honey. You really
are, but you need to get over your fears of letting people in. I don't think
this is all about Emma and how she might not be ready. You need to make
sure you're ready to."
Chapter Forty

EMMA
"You know, you would think that one of these years we would learn our
lesson, and go food shopping before Christmas Eve." I tell my mom as we
shuffle through the crowd and pick up ingredients for tomorrow's dinner.
"But this is half the fun!" My mom debates, "Remember that year we saw
the seventy year old lady hit the teenage boy in the face with the last ham in
the store?"
I snort, "That was pretty entertaining." I look down at the list, "We still
need some spices that you were out of."
We head to the spice aisle, my mom taking her time rifling through
everything. I played on my phone at the end of the aisle, keeping the
grocery cart out of people's way. I was texting back and forth with Harry as
we had been doing the past few days. Sometimes if one of us was busy it
would take a few hours to get a response, but we always answered. He
would text me in the morning when he woke up, patiently waiting for my
reply since I liked to sleep in later than him.
Right now he was sending me pictures of him and his siblings at the park
with all the kids. It was crazy how many of them there were, and I found a
small bit of jealousy rolling through me. I wanted that. I loved my mom, but
I sometimes wished for more. I wanted siblings and nieces and nephews,
and I wanted to grow up to have children. A lot of them. All of it used to
seem so impossible, but now... now it was tangible.
I looked up at my mom, but furrowed my brows instantly. A man had his
back to me, and was talking to her. My mom looked incredibly
uncomfortable. I had never seen her like that, and I found my feet taking me
to her before I could stop myself.
"Mom, is everything okay?" I ask firmly, stepping up to her side to see
the man that was talking to her.
 I didn't recognize him. He looked to be older, around my mom's age, tall,
broad shoulders, light brown hair.
His eyes widened as he saw me, looking up and down as if I wasn't real. I
tensed up, looking at my mom who was already looking at me, sadness and
a look of apology written across her own face. I was getting more confused
by the moment, so I repeated, "Mom, is everything okay?"
My mom snaps out of whatever daze she was in, shaking her head, "Oh,
uh, yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't seen Peter in... well, a very long time."
"Kate-" Peter starts, but my mom cuts him off, "We should be going
now."
"No, Kate, wait!" The man grabs at my mom's arm to keep her from
leaving.
I push him away quickly, hating the fact that he touched her, "She
obviously doesn't want to talk to you, so get out of our way."
His blue eyes softened, "What's your name?"
"What?" I ask confused.
"Peter." My mother warns.
He looks at my mom, clear regret and sadness in his eyes, "She's as
beautiful as I always knew she would be."
My face scrunches up in even more confusion, and he looks at me again,
small tears forming in his eyes. I glance at my mom who has her eyes shut
tight, and is trying to calm herself down. My eyes flicker back at the blue
ones staring at me so intensely, taking in every detail of my face. That's
when I get a really good look at him. The color of his hair, shape of his
nose, and then his eyes. His icy blue eyes.
Realization washes over me.
My head whips back to my mom who is now looking at the ground,
refusing to meet my eyes. The man brings his hand up as if to touch me, but
I back away quickly.
"Don't touch me." I warn him.
He finches at my cold tone, but I don't care. This man hasn't earned my
care.
"Mom, we're going." I grab her hand, and pull her out of the aisle. I
glance behind us to see Peter stood stock still where we were, just watching
us sorrowfully. I shake my head in disgust, and pull my mom and the cart a
few aisles down before asking, "Are you okay?"
"I'm so sorry, Emma." She says remorsefully.
 "What, why?"
She shakes her head, "I can't believe he was here. I haven't seen him
since he left us."
"Mom, you don't have anything to be sorry about. Do you think we can
make dinner with what we have? I think we should go home." I say as
calmly as possible.
I didn't know what I was feeling. I had just met the man I never thought I
would, and looking at the pain in my mom's face was heartbreaking. I had
never really thought to ask her how she felt about it. We had never really
talked about him much before, besides her telling me how he left. She was
clearly still hurt by it. I felt selfish. How could I not have asked my mom if
she was okay all these years? She had never once dated another person, and
I always figured it was because she was too focused on making our life
easier. She worked two jobs, and put food on the table every night.
But what if she never dated because she was heartbroken? I couldn't
imagine falling in love with Harry only to have him leave in the middle of
my pregnancy. That would destroy me. I don't think I would ever trust
another man in my life.
I led her to the checkout, keeping an eye out for Peter, so he couldn't bug
us again. My mom was in a trance the entire time, so I paid quickly and
walked us out. We were a few steps away from the car when I heard,
"Kate!"
I curse under my breath, unlocking the car, "Get in the car, mom."
"Emma-"
"Do you want to talk to him?" I ask her before Peter runs up.
"No, I don't." She tells me honestly.
"Then get in the car. I'm driving home. I'll get rid of him."
She glances at the man now only a few feet away, and opens the
passenger side door before he can say anything to her. I turn around with a
scowl on my face, "What do you want?"
"I want to talk to you. And Kate, if she would just give me a moment."
He says breathlessly, winded from running across the parking lot.
"And why should she. You left us." I say coldly.
He looks down at the ground, ashamed, "I know."
That only made me angrier. Steaming, I say, "What could you possibly
want to say to her?"
 He swallows down his nerves, "How sorry I am, and how I've thought
about you two every day of my life."
I let that sink in, my face turning in disbelief, "Am I supposed to buy
that? We've been here this entire time. Twenty-seven years, in fact, and as
far as I know you never tried to find us. You didn't care to know your own
daughter, and left a woman that was so in love with you-"
"I get it!" He explodes, and I raise an eyebrow at him. He pinches the
bridge of his nose, "Sorry, sorry, I just- I was a coward. I was so afraid
when she told me about you. We were nineteen, and my parents were so
strict."
"You don't need to apologize to me." I put my hand up to stop him from
continuing, "That woman you left is the greatest mother anyone could ever
have, and took your role as a father to raise me the best she could. She
worked her ass off so I would eat every night, and have the opportunity to
go to school. I never once wished you were there. You were nothing to me.
I figured you were scared, and that's fine, I guess, but don't try and come
back almost three decades later to say your sorry. We were fine without
you."
A sad smile appeared on his face, "I knew you didn't need me. Knew
you'd be like your mother, fierce and strong." He takes a deep breath, "But I
owe your mother an apology. May I give her one?"
I purse my lips, "She doesn't want to talk to you. Maybe try doing some
work and find her yourself if you're so determined to apologize. About
time, don't you think?"
He winced at my harsh words, "Can I at least know your name?"
I look away, debating for a second. He looked so desperate for
something, anything that I was about to tell him when I heard, "Dad?"
Peter turns his head, and sees a girl roughly my age walking towards us. I
furrow my brows, a similar look on the girls face, her blue eyes watching
me carefully, "Is everything okay?"
He nods, glancing back at me before answering, "Yes, Maddie, I'll meet
you at the car. Can you warm it up, please?"
She nods her head, catching the keys that Peter had tossed her, giving me
one last curious look. I watched her walk away, my body tense and
completely stunned. I don't know why that effected me so much. Why did I
hurt over someone I hadn't cared to know for the past twenty-seven years?
"How old is she?" I ask suddenly, turning to my father.
 He takes a moment before saying, "She just turned twenty-six."
There's was a moment of charged silence between us as he waited for my
response. My eyes narrowed in confusion, "So it took a year for you to not
be a coward?"
"It's not like that-"
"Oh, really? Cause it looks like you never truly gave a shit about my
mother. You weren't a coward, no, you just didn't want us. Because,
apparently, not even a year later you have a daughter that you have no
problem raising. And even after that you still don't bother to try and contact
us?" I rant in fury, "Is that what it was? You just didn't want me? Cause if it
is then that's fine, admit it, I'm used to the feeling."
"That's not it-"
"Does she know about us? Did you ever mention it to your real daughter
or your wife?" I ask.
Sadness filled his eyes, "I'm sorry. I should go."
I look away, slowly shaking my head, "Yeah, you probably should.
You're good at leaving so why don't you show me firsthand what it looks
like."
The bitterness in my voice couldn't be stopped. I hadn't expected this
level of pain and anger to hit me if I had ever met him. I truly didn't think I
cared, but every bit of my insecurities started to crawl back because of him.
Everything I've worked so hard to work on and improve slowly
disappeared. I had been unwanted and rejected before I was even born, and
not even a year later that man started a family. I felt like nothing in that
moment, and I didn't have Harry to hold me or put me back together.
I swallowed down my pain and turned around. Walking back to the car, I
decided that I needed to put myself back together. I couldn't rely on
someone else to do the work. The look on my mom's face was enough to
push all my own pain away, anyways. I had never seen her like this, so
broken and lonely. I sit down in the driver's seat and start the car. The
moment I pull out onto the street, I take her hand in mine. The entire drive
is silent, no music and no talking, just my mom's hand in mine.
We put the groceries away in silence as well, ordering in a pizza like we
always do on Christmas Eve. I let my mom go take a shower, so she can
sort out her thoughts before I talk to her about what just happened.
I had calmed down significantly from how I was earlier, but my head was
still reeling. I still felt small and unwanted. How a father could just leave
like that... I didn't get it. I had grown up my whole life not needing or caring
about answers, but now that the questions were given to me without
permission I craved them.
The pizza arrived before my mom was done in the bathroom. I was about
to go check on her when I heard her bedroom door open. I set a few pieces
down on plates and grabbed a bottle of wine, knowing we were going to
need it. When she saw it in my hands she gave me a small laugh.
"Exactly what's needed at times like this." She says, sounding more like
the mother I grew up with than the hurt woman I saw at the store.
"How are you feeling?" I ask her.
She takes a sip before answering, "Better. Sorry if I worried you, Emma.
I just never thought I would see him again."
"No, I understand, mom. You're allowed to be effected by it. It's obvious
that you loved him..."
She smiles at me knowingly, "I guess it's time we had the talk."
"You've already gone through the birds and the bees, mum." I joke.
Giving me a look, she says, "You better be using condoms, missy. As
much as I think Harry and your's baby would look adorable, I'm too young
to be a grandmother."
My face warms, "Yeah, yeah, you know me. I'm always safe."
An eyebrow is raised in my direction, but she doesn't say anything else
on the subject. Taking a deep breath, she starts, "I met your father when we
were eighteen. We just graduated and I had gotten a job at a diner where he
was a busser and dish boy. We started dating right away, completely blind to
everything around us. Her took my virginity and was my first love."
"Did he love you back?"
She puts her plate down, "Emma, don't judge that man too harshly. Her
was young and afraid." I frowned, but let her continue, "I do believe he
loved me, and he stayed a while when he found out I was pregnant. His
parents, though... they didn't approve of the situation. Considered what we
were doing to be wrong. They said we should get married, or give away the
baby. I flat out refused the latter, but Peter... he was so afraid to be an adult.
One day, about seven months in, he left. I got a note on my dresser
explaining that he wasn't coming back, and" she shrugs, "I raised you by
myself."
I shook my head, "How could you say he loves you, though?"
 "Sometimes love isn't enough. We were kids ourselves back then. We had
no business raising a baby, but it happened and I was blessed with you.
Emma, you're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I would choose
to get my heartbroken every day if it meant that I got you as my daughter."
I felt the water building in my eyes, but blinked them away, and cleared
my throat, "You saw his daughter, right?"
Now the sadness came back, but this time it was sympathy directed
towards me, "Yes, I saw her. I'm sorry, Emma."
I shrug as nonchalantly as possible, "Whatever, it's nothing-"
"Stop right there. If I talked, you talk." She said firmly.
I rested my back against the couch, my head falling back to stare at the
ceiling. "She's a year younger than me. A year. That's all it took for him to
realize the right thing to do was to stay."
"Don't blame yourself, dear. Peter had his faults, and unfortunately one of
them was selfishness."
"I just don't-" I groan, "I don't even know why I'm so upset! I never
wanted to know him. Not since I knew he left us. But now, seeing him with
his daughter that got to grow up with him, I'm pissed, and-" my words were
caught in my throat before I pushed them out, "hurt. I'm hurt that I wasn't
enough. It's bringing back all these feelings that I thought I overcame over
the past two months."
"What's recovery without a little bit of relapse?"
I turn to look at my mother, "What?"
She smiles at me, "I spent over twenty years thinking I was over what he
did to us, but the moment I saw him I crashed. My brain wasn't even
working. But recovery isn't always about the length of time you are
succeeding. It's also about how you pick yourself up after you fall."
I sigh, "You should've been a motivational speaker."
She smirks, but her face goes stern right after, "And you better not use
any of this as an excuse to push Harry away."
I bite my lip and look away, "I won't. Although, at this point, I would say
you're more in love with him than I am."
"Yeah, well, I'm finally gonna have a son." My face goes red and I groan,
but she laughs it off, "I'm serious, though, Emma. My goal raising you was
that you would be able to go out and fall in love. That our history wouldn't
hold you back from happiness, because you were too cautious. I haven't
seen you this happy in a very long time, probably ever. I remember how
miserable you would look every Christmas you came home when you were
with that boy. You didn't even realize it, but now you can see clearly. You
smile and laugh lighter, and you are so strong. Maybe that's why I like
Harry so much even though I haven't met him yet. I can see how he
supports you, and helps you grow as a person. That's what I always wanted
for you." She ended sadly.
"Mom, why didn't you date?" I ask her curiously.
"I was busy." She says simply, "And I didn't want to bring a man into
your life to have him leave. I think that would've been counterproductive
for your mental health."
"And what about now?" I press.
She smiles at me, "Honey, I am nearly fifty years old. Where am I
supposed to find someone to date?"
"It's the twenty-first century!" I joke, "It's called online dating."
"So, what... I can get murdered on the first date?"
I burst out laughing, "Mom! You just have to meet in public."
"Ted Bundy's victims met him in public too."
†††
Later that night, I laid down in bed and called Harry.
"I missed you." He says instantly, in replace of a hello.
I smile, cuddling a pillow, "I missed you."
"Are you okay?" He asks after a second.
"How do you always know when something's wrong?" I ask him.
I can practically see him shrug as he says, "I just can. I've heard you
enough to know when you're happy, and right now you're not."
I bite my lip, "I'm not not happy."
He sighs, "Emma, what's going on?"
"I'm just mentally exhausted, Harry. With everything going on with Jake,
and today..." I pause, "Can I tell you in person? It's sort of big news, and I
don't want to tell you over the phone where you can't hold me afterwards."
"Oh, angel, I'm sorry. Whatever it is, I'm so sorry. You deserve a break
from all this."
I close my eyes, "I did get a break. I had last weekend as my break."
He breathes out a laugh, "It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?" There was a
beat of silence where both of us thought back to last weekend. "Wish you
were here with me."
My heart clenches, "Only a week left."
 "It's too long. Emma, I don't know how it happened, but I can't even sleep
without you." He tells me honestly.
"I know. I haven't been sleeping well, either." I breathe out before asking,
"What would you do if you were here with me right now?"
I imagined his smile, soft and sweet as he said, "I would pull you on top
of me, so I could see your face clearly. Let your hair down from the bun I'm
sure it's in, and let it encase us in our own world. I love it when it does that.
Acts as our own private curtain."
I lie on my back, and say, "I would bend down and kiss your jaw. Nudge
your head to the side, so I've got full access to your neck."
"Mmm, bet that would feel nice. I would wrap my arms around you and
hug you into my chest. Feel the warmth you provide while your icy cold toes
freeze my legs."
"Hey! You told me you liked warming my hands and feet up." I say
indignantly.
He laughs, "I do, angel, I really do. I like every part of you."
My heart pounds in my chest, "I like every part of you, Harry."
"I-" His voice catches, and I close my eyes, taking deep breaths to try and
calm my rapidly racing heart. "I would kiss you. Like you've never been
kissed. Pour everything I can't say into it."
For some reason that hurts. I want him to be able to say it, but he's so
reluctant. "You know I'm all in, right?"
"What?" He asks, and I feel as if I hear him sit up.
"I'm all in. I won't run. You don't need to be afraid that I'm going to freak
out and leave." I tell him honestly.
There's silence between us, my finger tapping the mattress nervously,
until he says, "Okay."
Okay? That's it? I wasn't expecting him to tell me he loved me, because if
he did that for the first time - or first real time - over the phone I would be
pissed. But I expected a little more than that.
I cleared my throat, "How was today? The park looked like fun."
"Exhausting." He groans, "My body is killing me, and I won't be able to
sleep in tomorrow, because the kids will be up early wanting to open
presents."
I chuckle, "I'd love to be around a whole bunch of kids during Christmas.
I bet it makes the whole thing better."
 "It honestly does. Their enthusiasm is contagious. Could barely get them
to calm down enough to go to sleep tonight. By the way, it's after midnight.
Merry Christmas, angel."
I smile, "Merry Christmas, Harry."
We were both silent for a moment before he said, "I would make love to
you."
"Huh?" My eyes opened quickly, heart pounding again out of nowhere.
"Tonight, if we were together. I would make love to you before our first
Christmas together. Lay you down, and kiss you everywhere. Open you up
with my tongue, so I could slide right in. And then I would rock into you
slowly. Kiss you and whisper in you ear about how much you mean to me. I
would make love to you, Emma."
I swallow down my emotion, and turn back on my side to hold the pillow
close, "I would want that. Never felt so special then when you do that."
"I've never been touched the way you touch me." He replies, "And not
just how you've explored my body, but how you do it. Your touch is so
delicate and I can feel how much you care through your fingertips. It's
mesmerizing."
"I feel that too." I admit, "Wish you were touching me right now."
He sighs, "Only a week left."
"Too long." I pout.
"I know it is, Em. Driving me nuts not seeing you." He says quietly.
"When I see you next, I want you to give me that kiss, okay? I really
need it." I admit, the feeling of inadequacy rolling through my body. I
needed Harry, I truly did.
"I'll give you whatever you want, angel."
Chapter Forty-One

HARRY
"You okay, man?" My brother, Jason, asks me.
The kids were all playing with their new toys they had feverishly
unwrapped this morning. They had really hit the jackpot this year, both Lu
and I spoiling them greatly. Jason and Rebecca glared at us a few times
when they saw how much we had spent on them, but we couldn't help it.
"Uh, yeah, just didn't get a lot of sleep last night." I tell him.
He looks at me long and hard before asking, "You've been a little off this
entire holiday, H. What's going on?"
"I'm fine-"
"Don't give me that." He cuts me off, his daughter, Sophie, crawling into
his lap, "I know when something's off with you. You've been distracted this
entire time. Always on your phone..."
I sigh, "I don't know. Just got a lot of things going on back home, and," I
hesitate before adding, "I've been thinking about calling Carla."
He looked surprised at this, "Really? Why?"
I shrug, "I feel bad about how it all ended, and I think it's been holding
me back."
"Holding you back? From wha- Oh, wait, are you seeing someone?" He
asks.
I look away, focusing in on Sophie who has moved to my lap and was
playing with her new dolls. Clearing my throat, I say, "I am, but mom said
something to me the other night. Made me start thinking that maybe I had
some stuff to deal with before going all in."
"Are you not sure about this new... girl, guy?"
"Girl." I tell him, "I'm sure. I'm really sure. I know it's her, but I just don't
want to fuck it up."
"And you think talking to Carla will help you?"
 I groan, "I don't know. I've always felt this... guilt about how everything
went down between us. I mean, I broke up with her out of nowhere. We had
been talking about moving in together, and I broke her heart."
Jason furrows his brows, "Harry, people breakup all the time. Hearts are
broken. It's been, like, six years since you two even spoke. I'm sure she's
fine."
I nod, "Yeah, I know she probably is. It's just... This whole time with this
girl I've been acting like she's the one that's kept us from being anything
more, but I've been just as afraid. I've chosen not to tell her how I feel. In
fact, she's been incredibly open lately. I can't- I can't mess this up, Jay. Not
because of shit that I should've resolved years ago."
Glaring at me for the use of the curse word in front of Sophie, he asks,
"Have you thought that maybe you're overthinking things?"
"Hawwy, can you braid my hair?" Sophie asks from my lap, her knees
diggin into my thighs.
I chuckle, "Of course, bug. Turn around." I helped her get situated, more
comfortable for me, because she has some bony-ass knees. Keeping my
attention on the curly head of hair in front of me, I answer my brother, "I'm
sure I'm overthinking things. I don't know if I'm holding back, or if she is. I
don't know if I'm still caught up on everything that happened with Carla.
The only thing I know is that I'm scared."
"How long have you two been seeing each other?" He asks, sipping on
his coffee.
"About two months, I guess. Since Halloween, and we kind of made
things official a few weeks ago, but I haven't had the balls to ask her to be
my girlfriend." I answer him.
He slowly nods his head, pushing a football towards Jackson with his
foot, "I remember how nervous I was to ask Toni to be my girlfriend." He
tells me, "What makes you think she might not be ready?"
Sighing, I tell him, "When we met she was dealing with a nasty ex. She
was still hung up on him."
"And now?"
I finish Sophie's braid and pat her on the head, "Alright, bug, you're all
done. Why don't you put a jacket on, and play some footie with the others
outside?" I suggest.
I help her down, and she runs to find her mom. The girls were all outside
watching the kids now. My dad sneaking back in to sit down next to me on
the couch. "What are you two doing in here?"
"Talking about Harry's inability to commit to a relationship." Jason
deadpans.
I smack his shoulder, my dad chuckling, "I thought your mother told me
about some girl you were in love with?"
I groan, head coming back to rest on the top of the couch, "None of you
can keep a secret. And I don't have commitment issues."
"Yes, you do." My father says, "Why do you think you haven't been in a
relationship since you were twenty?"
"Because I haven't found anyone I like." I suggest pointedly.
"It's not like you haven't had your choice of partners. Don't think you
tried with any of them. Probably didn't even know their names." He says
plainly.
I felt my face warm, "Not that many."
Both my dad and brother give me a look, but it was my dad once again
calling me out, "You're so full of shit."
"Okay, okay," I give in, Jason laughing at my embarrassment, "well,
that's done. I've got someone now."
"Yes, tell me about this girl that you're afraid to make your girlfriend."
I glare at him, "I'm not afraid of making her my girlfriend. I'm not afraid
of taking things further with her. I love her, and I've never been more sure
of anything in my life!"
My outburst shocked them. I hadn't meant to sound so angry, but I didn't
like them questioning my feelings towards Emma. That was the only thing I
was sure of in my life at the moment.
"It's more like I'm scared of fucking it all up. She's sweet and caring and
beautiful, and so out of my league it's ridiculous. She's been hurt a lot in the
past, and I just can't do that to her. I'm scared of losing her in more ways
than one, and I need to be fully prepared to put all this baggage of mine in
the past when I choose to tell her."
My dad furrows his brows, and Jason fills him in, "He's thinking of
calling Carla."
"Oh," His eyebrows shoot up, "might be good for you, son. I remember
how torn up you were about all that."
I nod feeling that familiar feeling of guilt rise up any time I think of what
I did to Carla. I remember the tears and sobs I caused while she told me
how much she still loved me. The way she screamed at me and stormed off,
and refused to answer my calls and texts. I hadn't seen or talked to her since
then. She had left clothes at my place, never wanting them back, so
eventually I donated them to a homeless shelter. We had never really gotten
to talk things out, and I always regretted the way I had gone about it.
"She's made me realize a lot of things. Even been thinking of possibly
leaving Spectron." I tell them.
"Woah, really?" Jason says.
"Are you sure about that, son?" My dad adds.
"It's not, like, set in stone or anything, but she's made me realize that I
shouldn't have to suffer at a job I hate."
"Didn't realize you weren't happy there." My dad says.
I nod, "I'm miserable there. It's added a lot to my, uh, anxiety the past few
years, and Emma's helped a lot with that."
"Sounds like she's a special girl."
I look at my dad, his eyes the same shade as mine, "I think she's the one."
He smiled at me, and my brother whistled, "When are we going to meet
her?"
"Why don't you invite her up for you mom and I's anniversary? We were
going to have a little party, so that would be the perfect time." My dad
suggests.
I grin, "I've got to tell her how I feel first, dad."
"Well, don't wait too long. The good ones don't wait around forever."
†††
When I walk into the small coffee shoppe a few days later, I was
inexplicably nervous. I was surprised Carla even answered my FaceBook
message, and was extra shocked at how fast she replied.
I looked around, but didn't see her, so I ordered a latte and picked a small
table. My leg was bouncing like crazy as I checked my watch. I was ten
minutes early.
Smiling politely at the young girl who dropped off my drink, I checked
my phone and instantly felt myself calm down at the sight of a text from
Emma.
From Angel: Three more days.
I let out breath of air. Three more days. It had actually felt like torture
being away from her for this long. Especially when I could tell something
was wrong. We had graduated from calls to FaceTiming, and it was clear as
day whatever had happened was serious. Her smiles dropped faster, and her
eyes weren't as bright. She kept up conversation as normal, asking about my
family, and telling me about what she's been doing as well.
When she had told me on Christmas Eve that she wasn't going to run
away from us, I didn't know what to say. I was so shocked that she just
came out and told me, like she could read my thoughts. I'm not sure I really
handled the situation well. I was still a little shaken from the Jake thing, and
I had even almost let an "I love you" slip. I would've been so pissed if I had.
The last thing I wanted was to tell her something so important over the
phone.
The more I thought about her, us, the more I realized I needed to speak
with Carla. Maybe all the flings, and meaningless sex, was my way to
punish myself from what happened. I had handled the breakup so badly, and
sometimes I could still hear her sobs. It wasn't until my mom had said that I
needed to be ready for the relationship myself, that I realized how badly I
needed this.
I wanted to be the best version possible for Emma. I wanted to be clear of
any guilt, and I really didn't want previous issues from other relationships to
make their way into ours. She was too important to me for me to half-ass
this.
That's also why I was taking her advice about my job more seriously. If
we were to be together, eventually live together and possibly get married,
then I didn't want her to be constantly worried about me. I didn't want to
come home, a dark cloud over my head and bring that into Emma's life.
Even if it was rough for a while while I found a job, or discovered
something I loved, she deserved to be with someone who wasn't bringing
her down.
And, eventually, I would be doing that. Whether it was in a year or
twenty. My misery would spread to her. She's so caring that she would want
to take that pain from me however she could. She would shoulder it for me.
I would always live with anxiety. That was my burden. I would never be
cured of it, but I could handle it better. For so long I've ignored it, and let
my lifestyle aide in its control over me. But now I felt like I had something,
someone, to be better for. Life had felt so heavy before Emma, like weights
were hanging over my head ready to fall and crush me at any moment.
There was no out for me until she came into my life.
She brought a lightness to my life that I had never thought possible, so
for me to bring her down was not acceptable. I needed to at least try and
find a way to be happier in my work life for her sake.
I was startled out of my thoughts by the scrape of a chair. I look up to see
my ex-girlfriend. Someone I never thought I would see, let alone talk to,
again.
"Harry." She greeted me with a smile.
"Carla." I say back. She looked a lot different, face fuller, hair cut in a
pixie cut instead of the long locks she had when we were together. But she
still had her big brown eyes, and lazy smile that I used to love.
"You look good." She says, thanking the server as he set down her coffee,
"You cut your hair."
I breathe out a laugh, "Yeah, quite a few years ago. So did you."
She smirked, "Touche."
There was a beat of silence, not necessarily awkward, but different. Even
though she was putting off that usual easy-going attitude I used to be
familiar with, I could tell she wasn't entirely comfortable.
"How have you been?" I ask her stiffly.
Her eyes narrow slightly, just enough to tell me she knew I was nervous,
but she answered, "Really good. I graduated nursing school about four
years ago, and I've been working at Manchester Royal at the ER."
I raised my eyebrows at that, "I thought you wanted to work as a scrub
nurse. Is that what they're called?" I ask apologetically. She had always
talked about wanting to be in operating rooms, and watching surgeons work
their magic.
She smiled at that, "I did, but I had an internship in the ER right after
graduating, and became completely obsessed with it. It's fast paced and you
never know what's coming through the door."
Nodding, I say, "So you're living in the city?"
"Yeah, been there for the past four years. Mel told me you lived there, as
well?" She asks, her eyes never wavering in eye contact.
"Mhm, live in The Heatons area."
"Oh, wow," she says, looking impressed, "mister big shot."
I roll my eyes, "Yeah, yeah."
"So what do you do then?"
"Work at Spectron, currently." I tell her, taking a big sip of my latte.
"You always were one of the smart ones. I'm guessing you're some big
time boss there?" She teases.
I laugh, "I'm lead accountant."
 "Of course."
There was a moment of silence, tension starting to build as we begin to
run out of smalltalk. We both know an uncomfortable conversation is
headed our way, and I could see the apprehension in Carla's face.
Ripping off the bandaid, she was the first to speak, "Why did you call me
here?"
I take a deep breath in, sitting back in my chair, and rubbing the palms of
my hands into my jeans, "Been doing a lot of thinking lately."
She raises an eyebrow at me, "Okay?"
"About how we left off. How I..." I look down.
"Broke up with me?" She asks.
I wince, "Yeah."
Glancing up, I see her slowly nod, eyes still glued to my now uneasy
expression, "Harry, just breathe and talk to me. Remember: it's just me."
My shoulders sagged, "Exactly. It's you, Carla."
Her eyes softened, "You know, I was shocked to hear from you. Thought
I would never see you again."
I swallow nervously, "Uh, yeah..."
I didn't know what to say. The past few days my head has been filled
with things to say to her, but not one of them was coming to mind right
now.
She nods slowly, but waits for me to gather myself.
"I, uh, I'm sorry. For what happened between us." I clear my throat, "I've
always felt awful for how I ended things with you. You deserved better. You
were a great girlfriend, and there was no reason for me to not love you the
way you loved me. I'm so so sorry, and I wanted to talk to you about
everything afterwards, but you obviously didn't want to and I was too much
of a coward to make an actual effort-"
"Harry, Harry, stop." She chuckles, her hand encasing mine and
squeezing, "We were kids back then."
"What?" I ask surprised by her reaction.
She smiles warmly, hand squeezing mine once more before letting go,
and leaning back in her chair, "We were practically babies back then.
Neither of us had really been in a serious relationship, and we both made
mistakes."
"I-" I shake my head, "I thought you hated me."
 Her brown eyes widened a tiny bit, only to soften moments later, "Harry,
I could never hate you. You were my first love, and even if you didn't feel
the same-"
"I loved you."
She gives me a look, "Sure, you loved me, but you were never in love
with me, and that's okay. Like I said, we were children. Our relationship
taught me a lot."
"I'm sorry."
She furrows her brows, "Harry, why are you carrying around all this
guilt? People break up, it's okay." She repeats what my brother told me.
"Carla, I can remember the look on your face when I ended things. I
remember the sobs, and you screaming at me-"
"Yeah, it hurt. I was heartbroken. I felt like you didn't care. You were so...
emotionless when you did it." She tells me.
"I did, I really did care Carla. I just-" I took a deep breath, "I woke up
one day, and it felt like everything came crashing down on me. I looked
over and you were lying next to me. Our conversation about moving in was
rolling through my head, and everything was moving so fast. Even though
we had been together for a few years."
"Harry, you're entitled not to fall in love with me. You're entitled not to
want to be with me, no matter how much I loved you or treated you well."
She purses her lips before saying, "I was in a relationship a few years ago.
An old friend of mine that had been "in love" with me for years. Finally, I
gave him a chance, because he was so sweet. And I really tried, but when
we slept together I realized it was never going to be anything for me. I
couldn't make feelings manifest for him, no matter how much I tried, or
how sweet he was. When I broke up with him... well, he was the first heart I
had ever broken. The first thing I thought of afterwards was you, and how
hard it probably was for you, because even though I hated you for, like, a
year after that I also knew you weren't a bad person." She thinks for a
second, adding, "You just have commitment issues."
I furrow my brows, "I don't-"
"Don't bullshit me, Harry. It's been a few years since we've seen each
other, but I still know you."
I sigh, "I guess I did hate the idea of commitment when I was younger. It
felt... trapping. Too grown up for me at the time, but now..."
 Her eyebrows raise, "I was wondering why you decided to call me up
now. So is this about a certain someone, or are you looking to find
someone?"
I fidget in my seat uncomfortably, "Is this weird to talk about?"
Carla shrugs, "Probably. I could tell you about my girlfriend, if it makes
you feel better."
I pause, "Wait, what? Your girlfriend?"
She grins, "That's something I should probably thank you for." She
laughed at the confusion on my face, but continued, "You know, I always
thought I was straight. Like completely straight. Dicks only type of gal, but
then I met Sarah. I was so weirded out, because I had never been attracted
to a girl before - well besides like celebrities, but I always thought that was
just... nothing."
"But what does that have to do with me?" I ask.
She smiles softly, "You were always so open with me when it came to
your sexuality. You told me right away that you were bi, and that if I had a
problem with it that I should get out now."
"But you didn't."
She shakes her head, "I'm glad I didn't. Wouldn't trade our relationship
for anything. Sometimes I think we met so I could be prepared to fall in
love with Sarah. Bisexuality was something I was familiar with because of
you. Something I wasn't ashamed of. I was confused, for sure, but I wasn't
ashamed of myself. You had always been so comfortable in your skin, and
you never hid the fact that you had been with guys. You opened me up to
that world, and I want to thank you for that."
I felt a rush of emotions. I never thought that I would have that effect on
someone. Especially someone I thought I had hurt so badly.
"What's she like?" I ask her.
"Well, she's stubborn. That was the first thing I noticed. Used to infuriate
me. She's a doctor at the hospital, a few years older than us, and she had a
lot of walls built up. Eventually, I broke her down-"
"Of course you did." I chuckle, knowing how stubborn and persistent
Carla was back in the day.
She gives me a look, but continues on as if she wasn't interrupted, "and
realized how sweet she was. And funny, she's absolutely hilarious."
I smile warmly, "I'm happy for you, Carla."
She returns my smile, "What about you? Spill all the details."
 I laugh, "I'm dating this girl, Emma, and I've realized that something was
holding me back from telling her exactly how I feel about her. That's why I
asked you here today. I've always felt guilty about what went down, and I
guess I needed some closure."
She nods, "I get that. Not gonna lie, I always kind of wanted to reach out
to you. Stalked you on FaceBook and Instagram a few times."
I laugh, "I'm glad we finally got to talk."
"You know," she starts, "I hope everything works out between you and
this girl. You deserve to be in love, Harry. It's life's greatest high."
†††
Carla and I spent the next hour catching up. I quite enjoyed it, realizing
how much I missed her as a friend. She had been such a big part of my
formative years, with me nearly every day, and even though I couldn't fall
in love with her like she had with me, I wouldn't have traded that time with
her.
I felt lighter now. Free from self inflicted restraints. Carla was right. My
brother and father were right. I did have commitment issues. It was hard to
admit, considering I had spent my entire adult life denying it.
In all honesty, I had always been afraid to let people in. With my anxiety
acting up out of nowhere most times I felt like no one would be able to
accept me because of it. I had never opened up to Carla about it, hiding my
attacks every time. Not even my friends knew about it. I think Oli suspected
something was up, but I had kept a lot of my life private from everyone.
But Emma broke me down so easily. It's like she didn't have to try, I just
trusted her. I trusted her so wholeheartedly, beginning with my body and
then with my heart. And she gave me her trust, knowing exactly what that
meant.
She had had opposite experiences of me, falling in love, giving them
everything to only have someone throw it back in her face. Yet she hadn't
been too afraid to commit to me. She hadn't ran away from me when we
had the talk. She hadn't freaked out after I made love to her. She's been
nothing but open and honest with me, and she deserved to know how I felt.
I had been tempted the last few days to ditch my family and drive to her
mom's place, but I had promised the kids that I would spend the full holiday
with them. As much as I wanted to say fuck it and be with my angel, I
couldn't look little Sophie in the eye and tell her I was breaking my
promise.
 As I walked into my parents house, I was met with mostly silence. I just
heard the faint sound of the TV on in the living room. I headed that
direction to find Luanne sitting on the couch, eyes glued to her phone, smile
playing on her lips. Her arms were hugging her knees to her chest, hands
meeting in the middle, gripping and texting on her phone.
I smirk, "How's Oli?"
She looks up and blushes, "Uh, he's good. Parents are fighting but what's
new?"
I nod, "I'm surprised he didn't just come up with us this year, since you
two are officially dating."
She doesn't hide the smile that brings to her face, "Maybe next year. I
invited him to mom and dad's anniversary weekend."
"Nice." I respond simply, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch,
and checking my own phone. Emma still hadn't gotten back to me from my
text I sent her when I was leaving the coffee shoppe. I frowned, but clicked
my lock screen shut and sighed.
"You thinking about bringing your girl?" She asks slyly.
I roll my eyes, "Will you give that a rest?"
"Only when you open up and tell me about her!" She exclaims
dramatically.
I pause before admitting, "Well, you might be meeting her very soon."
Her mouth gaped open, "Excuse me?! Does that mean you guys are
actually dating? And she's not just screwing you?"
I clench my jaw, "You think the worst of me, don't you?"
Her face softened, "Sorry, Harry, I didn't mean that as a dig or anything.
It's just been so long since you've wanted to date someone, and I'm really
excited about this one."
I furrow my brows at this, "Why are excited about this one in particular?"
Lu looks away, a small redness on her cheeks, "Just seems promising.
You even admitting that I might get to meet her soon is big deal as it is."
"I met with Carla, by the way." I blurt out. Lu and Carla were pretty close
back in the day, but I knew they lost touch when we broke up. Carla had
mentioned earlier it was because seeing Lu was too painful of a reminder.
"I'm sorry what?" She looked at me as if I was crazy.
I chuckled, "I met with Carla-"
"Yeah, I heard you the first time." She says, smacking me immediately
with one of the couch pillows. "You didn't think to tell me?!"
 "Jesus, stop- Lu, stop with the damn pillow!" I rip it out of her hands, and
throw it across the room. "Didn't think I had to tell you."
"You didn't-" She takes in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose,
"You're clueless sometimes, H."
"Gee, thanks." I deadpan.
She looks back up at me, "Does E- uh, your girlfriend know you met with
your ex?"
"No," I shake my head, "I'm not hiding it from her or anything. I'll tell
her when I see her in a few days. I was kind of processing everything - hell,
still am. Want my thoughts to be straight when I talk to her about it."
"So, why did you meet up with Carla?" She asks, sipping on her water
bottle.
"I think I needed some closure." I admit freely, "You saw how I was
afterwards. Felt so much guilt, and knew I needed to figure my shit out
before I took the next step with angel."
She grins at me, "Is that what you call her? Angel?"
My face warms, "Uh, yeah."
It felt like second nature to call her angel, now. Both fit her, her name just
as beautiful as she was, but my nickname for her having a special meaning
in my heart.
"That's so cute!" She squeals, "I'm gonna tell Oli to give me a nickname."
I chuckle, "What happened to Lulu?"
She rolls her eyes, "Everyone calls me that. I need one where only he
calls me that. Bet it's super hot in bed."
Grimacing, I warn her, "Never say that again. Do you hear me? That's
just gross. I don't need to think about my sister and best friend-" I fake gag,
making her laugh.
"I'm the one that found the dirty underwear in your couch!" She retorts.
"That's because you're a nosy little fucker, and won't mind her own
business." I shoot back.
She scoffs, "Harry, you've known me my whole life. Did you honestly
think I wasn't gonna snoop in your house when you've been acting so
strange lately?"
Laughing, I say, "Guess that's true. Can't go against your nature."
"Hey, Harry?" She starts. I hum out in response, head resting against the
cushion, eyes falling shut. She continues, "I'm really happy you found
someone. You deserve it."
Chapter Fort-Two

EMMA
It felt like everything was eating away at me. Not only did I have ample
amount of time to overthink things, it also seemed like Harry got busier. He
was always out with his family, taking the kids to a park or the zoo, which
meant he got back to me a little less than he had been before Christmas.
I didn't blame him. I just wished I was with him. Of course we still talked
every night, and I could tell he was dying to know why I was being so off,
but I knew I needed him physically with me if I was going to say it out
loud. I knew I would break down, my emotions askew the past few days.
My mom and I haven't mentioned it once since that day. It was like
everything went back to normal. Except everything felt forced. We did our
normal Christmas routine, but it was quieter than usual. We didn't laugh
nearly as much and spent time watching movies more than ignoring them
and talking like we used to.
The past few days have been weird too. My mom has been taking private
calls, keeping her phone close to her, and leaving the room when it rang. I
asked her what that was about once, but she brushed me off by lying and
saying it was a telemarketer.
My mom had never lied to me before. She had always been open and
honest, but I could see her holding something back now. I wasn't stupid. I
knew it had something to do with Peter. I wonder if he had actually taken
my angry advice to find us on his own if he truly wanted to speak to us.
He hadn't reached out to me, though, and honestly I wasn't sure if I
wanted that. I didn't necessarily, all of a sudden, want him in my life,
pretending to be a dad, and trying to make up for all the lost years, but if he
didn't try I knew it would hit me hard. It was a lose lose for me. I wouldn't
be happy either way. Either I get a constant reminder that he was never
there when I was a child, or I don't get him around the rest of my life.
 My mind wasn't even comprehending the fact that I had a sister.
Maddie.
My whole life I had wanted siblings. Not necessarily a dad, but I always
craved that connection of a brother or sister. I could technically have one
now - that was if Peter wasn't a coward and told her that I existed. But with
her came him.
It was all so convoluted and confusing, and I wasn't feeling like myself.
More and more I felt my mind eat away at my self esteem, which only
pissed me right off. I had worked so fucking hard to get myself out of my
rut, but I fell so easily back into that bleak state of mind. It had this added
pressure to my chest, like something was building, an unpleasant buzzing
feeling resonating through me.
All of this was effecting my other thoughts. Thoughts I had sorted out
before Christmas Eve. I was doubting my actions about Jake, and I was
replaying every conversation Harry and I had. But instead of remembering
the sweet parts where he told me how he felt or how much he missed me,
my stupid-fucking-brain relived that okay.
That stupid word echoed through my head every day. It was so un-Harry-
like. He had never been at a loss for words around me, usually saying more
than he needed to. He was expressive and honest and never an okay type of
guy.
I knew I was overthinking it. I knew nothing changed, and Harry still felt
the same about me, but the worst part of having a brain like mine was that it
wouldn't stop.
Everything added together made these last couple days horrible. I wanted
things how they were before we left that cottage last weekend. Everything
was so perfect, whereas now things were a mess.
So I was angry and confused and sad, and I didn't know how to sort any
of it. The calming presence of Harry was still two days away, and as
desperate as I was to call him and ask him to come to me, I wasn't going to
take away his family time. I knew how important that was to a person. It's
part of the reason why I was so annoyed at how my mom seemed to be
distancing herself from me. Not a lot, but enough to put me on edge.
"Honey, I'm gonna go out for dinner with a friend. Are you okay here by
yourself tonight?" She asks me, securing her bracelet on her wrist.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so." I reply, taking in her nice outfit, "Which friend?"
 "Just someone from work. I'll probably be home late tonight." She replies
without looking at me.
I clench my jaw, "Alright."
I return my attention to my phone, but can feel my mom's eyes on me. I
hear her take a few steps towards me and say, "You okay, Emma?"
I look up, sending her a tight-lipped smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Have fun with
your friend."
She pauses before leaning down and kissing the top of my head, "Bye,
honey."
With that she leaves, and I'm left once again to my rancid thoughts.
Deciding to call Harry, I lay down on my back, phone to my ear, and wait.
I'm disappointed when it eventually goes to voicemail, Harry either not
being by his phone, or in the middle of something.
"Hey, babe, just calling to talk." I start, mindlessly. Sighing, I continue, "I
miss you so much. Don't know what you have planned, but I'm thinking
about driving back a day early. Think I just need to be home right now. I,
uh, this hasn't been my favorite holiday, but I'm sure you've guessed that by
now. Sorry I haven't told you what's going on. Must be driving you nuts... I
swear I'm not trying to keep anything from you, I just need to figure out
what the fuck is going on in my head." I sigh again, "I don't think I'm even
making any sense. Sorry for bugging you, um, call me when you get a
chance."
I hang up hastily, groaning and flinging an arm over my eyes. I sounded
so pathetic over the phone just then. Surely Harry's either going to be
annoyed with me, or be too worried about me.
I'm so fucked up.
Sometimes - when I was up late at night, not able to sleep because Harry
wasn't there - I found myself wondering why he bothered. He was so much
better than me in so many ways. I knew he would hate that I thought that,
but with all my insecurities resurfacing I couldn't stop it.
My eyes snapped open when I heard my phone ring. I grabbed it quickly,
but felt my heart drop when I saw it was Millie. It's not like I didn't want to
talk to her, but I was really hoping to get some time with Harry.
"Hey, Millie." I greet.
"Hey, uh, Emma..." She says hesitantly.
I furrow my brows, "What's wrong?"
 "Well..." She sighs and says quickly, "I think someone broke into your
apartment."
"What?!" I sit up quickly, "What do you mean "you think"?"
"I was checking my mail, and saw your door cracked open. I was about
to push it open, cause I thought maybe you came home early, but I noticed
that door was kind of splintered... broken. I'm so sorry, Em."
I sigh and bury my head in my hands, "Fuck. Did you call the police?"
"No, I called our landlord, and he said that you needed to be the one to
call it in, because your name's on the lease." She tells me.
"Alright, um, I guess I'll start packing my stuff up, and head back down
tonight." I say exhaustively. "Not much I can do if I'm not there."
"I'm so sorry!" Millie apologizes, "I can't believe this. I mean, we live in
a seedy area, but nothing like this has ever happened."
"Did you, by chance, hear anything?" I ask.
"No, I've been sleeping almost all day."
I frown even more, "Are you feeling okay?"
I could practically hear the eye roll, "Emma, stop worrying about me.
You've got enough on your plate."
I huff a breath out of my nose, fingers fidgeting on my leg, "Fine, I'll be
there in, like, three hours? My mom's out right now, so I need to make sure
she knows what's going on. I'll text you when I'm on my way."
"Okay, see you soon."
I call my mom right away, but it goes straight to voicemail. Groaning, I
stand up and head to my old room. I start to pack up my stuff, checking my
phone constantly to make sure I wasn't missing a call from either Harry or
my mom. My stuff was kind of everywhere, so it took me a while to get
everything, but that didn't matter since I still had to wait for my mom.
I called her twice more, still no answer, and waited for another hour
before I decided to just text her a quick explanation. I rushed out to my car,
not waiting for it to warm up, and drove off. It took me about an hour and a
half to get back home.
The car ride was silent besides my very loud thoughts. I already started to
piece things together, knowing who was most likely to do this. Anger built
in me the whole way home, days of pent up emotions starting to flow
through me. I held back any tears, knowing they were useless.
I pulled up, keeping my hastily packed bag in my trunk and made my
way to my apartment. I sent Millie a text, letting her know I was home.
Finally, I found myself in front of my door. It looked intact besides the
splintered wood where the lock was busted through. I took a deep breath a
pushed it open.
I stopped short, stunned by the sight before me. Everything was a mess.
There were slashes in the cushions of my couch, cabinets flung open, and
broken plates and glassware all over the floor. My TV was smashed in, and
my bookshelf had been pushed over, books flying everywhere. I stepped
inside further, eyes wide and hands shaking. Walking down my small hall,
crunching sounds coming from beneath my boots, I found my way into my
bedroom.
It was then where my tears start. I don't bother stopping them as I see the
contents of my closet strewn across my room, ripped and tattered in obvious
rage. My dresser drawers had been ripped away from their intended spots,
and thrown around. There was a giant dent in my wall near my bed, where
once again it looked like a knife was taken to the fabric.
"Emma?" I heard Millie's voice from outside.
Somberly, I walked out to her to see her shocked and horrified face.
"Hey." I say defeated.
Her face immediately softened, "Oh, Emma." She rushed forward and
gave me a huge hug.
It felt as though her arms were holding me together. Suddenly, my life
had been thrown into chaos just when I had thought it was coming together.
I had thought I found my future, happy and healthy and confident, but I felt
like I was back at square one.
I hated this. I hated feeling like this, being at the mercy of Jake and his
wrath. The stress and sadness caused by my so-called father had just been
doubled. Nearly everything I had was ruined. It would probably cost me my
full savings to replace everything. That wasn't even to mention my safety.
This no longer felt like home to me. It was tainted and marked by misery.
"I need to call the police." I mumble against her hair, letting go of the
awkward hug. Her belly was so large now that it made it nearly impossible
to hug comfortably.
She nodded, "I'll be right back. I'm gonna go make you some tea."
I send her a small smile, her hand squeezing mine before heading out. I
call the non-emergency line, and report the break-in. They tell me I'll have
some officers stop by within thirty minutes. Next I call Oliver.
 "Emma?" He asks immediately, rightly confused considering I've never
called him or text him before.
"Hey, Oliver, um, I was wondering if you could come by mine?" I ask
tentatively, "Only if you're not busy."
"What's wrong?" He asks, and I can hear him shuffling around in the
background.
I took a deep breath, "My place was broken into-"
"What?! Are you okay? Were you there?"
"No, no, I was visiting my mom up north, and my friend who lives a few
doors down called and told me." I tell him, "I'm fine, I guess. Everything's
trashed and I have some policemen coming, but I don't know how to do any
of this, and would feel more comfortable if I had someone I knew
helping...?" I end it in a question, not sure if what I was asking was too
much.
"Of course, babe. Send me your address and I'll be there soon. I'm just at
my house on the east side, so from what I know I'm not too far." He tell me
without hesitation.
I breathe out in relief, "Oh, thank you so much, Oli. You don't know how
much this means to me."
"Emma, you don't need to thank me. You're a friend, of course I would be
there for you."
I smile sadly, more tears starting to build up, "Alright, well, uh, I'll send
you my address then."
"Okay see you soon, and stay safe. Don't let anyone in unless they show
you their identification, okay?"
"Okay." I nod and confirm.
Within thirty minutes, my house was full of police. After the first two
arrived and saw how aggressive it had actually been, they called in a few
more. They were taking pictures when Oliver arrived.
"Holy shit." He says, eyeing the mess.
"Ma'am, do you know this man?" A policeman asks me.
"Yeah, I asked him to come." I tell him, arms hugging my sides.
I watch as Oliver shows him his detective's badge, and then walks over to
me. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he hugs me, "I'm sorry, Emma.
This looks really bad."
I shrug, feeling completely defeated, "It's okay."
 "Do you mind if we ask you some questions now, Ms. Everly?" One of
the men asks.
I nod, "Sure."
"How did you come back here to find your apartment like this?"
"Oh, um, Millie," I gesture to the girl next to me, "called me while I was
at my moms for the holiday."
He turns to her, "May I get your statement?"
"Yeah, I was just checking my mail, cause I forgot to do it earlier in the
day and I've been sleeping most of it, anyways, and when I came back I saw
her door cracked open. I thought maybe she came home early, but then I
saw how it had clearly been broken and immediately called Emma." She
answers quickly.
"And you didn't come inside?" He asked cautiously.
"No," Millie shakes her head, "not until I knew Emma was back."
He writes down her info, and turns back to me, "So when you arrived...?"
"I text Millie first to let her know I was back, and came up here. Saw my
door and decided to come inside." I tell him.
"Did you touch anything?"
I shake my head, "Just the door when I entered."
He nods his head while he writes down my account. After a few seconds
of silence, he looks up and asks, "Do you know of anyone who would have
something against you?"
I sigh, "Uh, yeah my ex." I can feel both Millie and Oliver's eyes on me,
making me shrink a little, but I continue, "We've been over for close to a
year now, but, um, he's been harassing me-"
"Have you reported this?" The older policeman who had been standing
and watching us the whole time butted in.
I look at him hard, knowing what's to come, "No, I haven't. I was going
to file a report once I got back from my mom's."
"Why the sudden decision?"
I felt Oliver's hand squeeze my shoulder in support, "Well, I've been in
denial about the whole thing, but recently it's gotten a lot worse. I blocked
his number about a month ago, and since he's been more aggressive to me
in person-"
"Are you still seeing him on the regular?" He interrupts me.
"Yeah, we-"
"So you're still sleeping together?"
 There was a beat of loud silence before I unclenched my jaw, and
answered, "No. We work together, so unfortunately I'm stuck with him. We
haven't been sexual since before last summer."
The older man nods, but the younger one cuts in, "What did you mean by
it getting a lot worse lately?"
I turn my attention back to him, and let out a breath, "Uh, well, he's been
crueler with his words. I've noticed he drinks a lot more, and when I was
away the weekend before Christmas Millie called and told me he was
banging on my door, piss drunk, demanding I speak to him."
"Yeah, he was completely sloshed. But I told him she was gone until the
new year and he left." Millie adds quickly.
"Is that all?" He asks both of us.
I bit my lip and shook my head, "No, when I came back to pack my bags
before I went to my mom's I ran into him here. He was going to leave a note
for me on my door. At first, he was... okay, I guess? Not drunk or anything,
but then he got angry with me-"
"Why exactly did he get angry with you?" The older policeman cut in
again.
I send him a sharp look, annoyed at his superior attitude, "He was pissed,
because he saw the hickeys all over my neck that I let the guy I was with
give me. He knows I hate them, and got jealous. He touched it, and then
went to put his hand around my neck-"
"What?!" Both Millie and Oliver ask wildly.
I continue on as if they hadn't said anything, "I reacted quickly, and
twisted his arm so he couldn't do anything. I've been learning self-defense
for the last month or so, and got him away from me."
The younger policeman smiles at me, clearly trying to earn back my
goodwill from the man next to him, "May I have his name?"
"Jake. Jake Williams." I answer without hesitation.
For the next half hour, I rehash everything with them, telling them about
the deleted texts, and giving them Harry and Niall's names as possible
witnesses. They ask for me to bring in my phone tomorrow morning, so
their tech guy could take a look at it and see if he can recover the texts.
Finally, they get everything they need, making me promise to take an
inventory of everything that was destroyed or stolen. I was going to call my
insurance in the morning to see how much they could cover the damage, but
they would also tack on the extra charges for Jake if they could prove this
was him. I was pleasantly surprised at how serious they were taking things.
Even the older cop had simmered down, sticking to the basics. It helped that
Oliver had chimed in, making sure they did a thorough job. He had
authority over everyone, but couldn't be placed on the team seeing as it
would be a conflict of interest.
It was past midnight when they left, leaving myself, Millie, and Oliver.
Millie offered her couch for me, which I gratefully agreed to. Oliver walked
me down to my car, so I could get my bag out of my trunk, basically the
only things I owned that weren't destroyed - besides the clothes I had at
Harry's.
"Emma, I really am sorry." He tell me.
I send him a tight-lipped smile, "Guess it's my fault for dating a psycho."
He gives me a look, not appreciating my attempt at a joke, "Does Harry
know about all this?"
I nod, "Most of it. I haven't had a chance to tell him about the break-in,
but he's well aware of the, uh, incident a few days ago." I checked my
phone to see three missed calls from him, one from my mother, and a long-
ass text from her as well. "I'll call him when I get back up there."
"He's going to freak." Oliver sighs, leaning against the side of my car.
"I'm not going to tell him just yet-" Oliver tries to interrupt me, but I
continue, "I will, I promise. Just when I see him in person next. This will be
too much for him if it's over the phone. I need to be there to keep him
calm."
Oliver's expression softened, "Do you love him?"
My breath hitched, but I answered honestly, "Yeah."
He nods slowly, "Don't hurt him, Emma. He doesn't give himself away
like he has to you."
I felt the familiar feeling of water gloss over my eyes, "I should be
getting back to Millie."
He pursed his lips, stepping away from my car, "Okay, give me a call if
you need anything."
I nod, hugging him, and heading back indoors. The elevator ride seemed
to last forever, Oli's words resonating in my head. I felt like all I was doing
was adding to Harry's stress. I remember how shaky and desperate he had
sounded over the phone when I told him what had happened before I left for
holiday. It was clear to me that he had almost had a panic attack, and I
didn't want him ever to feel like that again.
 Guilt started to weigh down on me, knowing I would have to tell Harry.
He would carry that with him, find a way to blame himself for not being
able to stop this.
I sighed as I stepped out of the lift, passed by my splintered door, and
walked into Millie's place a few doors down. She sent me a small smile,
setting a pillow down on her couch for me.
"Thanks, Mil." I said sincerely. We talked for a few minutes until she
went to bed. I felt bad she was staying up so late for me. Surely, she was
exhausted just from carrying around her baby all day. I brushed my teeth
and washed my face, cheeks feeling raw from the amount of tears I shed
tonight.
Instead of going straight to bed, I stepped outside, sitting down on the
hallway floor next to her door, and called Harry.
I wasn't sure he was still going to be away, seeing as it was now almost
two in the morning, but felt my heart clench when I hear his voice.
"Emma?" He sounded wide awake, worry laced in his tone.
"Hey." It came out as a croak, my eyes shutting tightly.
"Darling, what's wrong?" He asked quickly, "Why haven't you been
answering your phone?"
"You'll be back tomorrow, right? I'll see you tomorrow night?" I ask,
knees coming up to hug my chest, elbow resting against them while my
fingers grip my hair.
"Emma, what is going on? You're freaking me out." He sounded like he
was trying to keep his breathing steady.
I choke out a sob, immediately biting down on my knuckle to quiet
myself, "Harry-"
I couldn't finish, instead breaking down again. I could hear his soft voice
reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, shushing me softly.
There was clear pain in his words, and I knew he was wishing he was with
me, so he could hold me. Eventually, I start to calm my breathing, inhales
catching a bit, but my heartbeat is steady now.
"I'm sorry." I hiccup, eyes stinging and cheeks feeling more than
sensitive.
"No, no, angel, don't apologize." He tells me quickly, "Can you tell me
what happened or are you too tired? It's really late, and you've got to drive
home in the morning. Want you to be decently rested for me. Can't have
anything happen to you, love."
 I nod even though I know he can't see me, "I don't know if I'll be able to
sleep." I don't tell him that I'm already home, knowing he'll leave his
parents house in a second to be with me.
"How about I stay on the phone until you are." He suggests.
"Yeah?" I ask weakly.
"Yeah," he repeats, "Just imagine I'm right there in bed with you,
whispering in your ear."
A small smile appears on my lips, " I would like that."
I go back inside, and get settled on the couch while he asks me basic
questions. I'm grateful he's not forcing answers out of me. I feel all those
pesky thoughts drift away from the last couple days. That damned "okay"
disappearing in a field of "I miss you's" and "you have no idea how much I
care about you". All the soft words he spoke to me now at my forefront.
I thought for sure this would cause him to panic, possibly have an attack,
yet here he was, calmly lulling me to sleep. He was so much stronger than I
had given him credit for.
"Harry, in case I fall asleep before I can say this: Thank you." I say
tiredly, "I promise I'll tell you when I see you tomorrow. Know you're not
driving back until later in the day, so I probably won't see you until we are
about to go out."
There was a moment's pause before he responds, "Don't forget I owe you
that kiss."
I smile into the pillow, "I can't wait."
"What do you want to talk about, angel?" He asks softly.
Before I can think about an answer, one is spilling out of my mouth, "Can
you tell me more stories about growing up with your family. I love hearing
you talk about them."
I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "Of course. How about I
tell you about the time Lu almost burnt our kitchen down on Christmas."
Somehow, after everything that had been going on all week, I fell asleep
with a smile on my face.
Chapter Forty-Three

HARRY
After only a few hours of sleep, I decided to pack everything up. My
phone had died last night as I laid down on my bed listening to Emma's soft
breathes as she slept.
The pain I felt listening to her breakdown when I couldn't do anything
about it was the worst I've ever known. I would happily take ten panic
attacks over ever hearing her sound that broken. It reminded me of that
night I showed up at her apartment, the sound of her sobs ripping my heart
apart. I needed to get back to her as soon as possible. She would probably
be leaving her mom's in an hour or so, and it would only take her less than
two hours. I had a four hour drive ahead of me, so I should be leaving soon.
It took me a while to pack everything, my head not quite all there. It was
swimming with possibilities to what had happened to make her break. I
went downstairs to get some coffee, needing to wake my senses up. My
mom and dad were up, talking in the dining room. The kids stayed at their
houses tonight so it was just us and Lu. I just gave them a head nod, and
they knew to give me some space.
I didn't even drink the coffee downstairs, instead opting to take it back up
to my childhood room, and try packing again. I was so frazzled that I had to
take everything out and organize it better, because there was no way it was
fitting the way I had thrown stuff back in.
At eight I went to Lu's room and knocked loudly. I knew she was
probably still sleeping, a chronic late riser just like Emma. I had to knock a
few times, getting increasingly more anxious as I waited for the door to
open.
Finally, she swings the door open, eyes barely open themselves, and
glares at me. "Why aren't you letting me sleep in?"
"Because we need to leave soon." I tell her.
 Her face scrunches up in confusion, "What? We aren't leaving until the
afternoon. We're supposed to have lunch with everyone and Kazo's."
"Lu, I need to get home now." I say as steadily as I can.
"We can't just ditch our fam-"
"Luanne, I'm leaving in an hour with or without."
She looked taken aback by my outburst, starting to finally wake up,
"Harry, what's going on?"
"I just- I need to get back home." I say weakly, pleading with her to just
get going.
"Harry-"
"It's Emma. Something happened, and I need to be with her." I admit, not
caring that I just outed us.
She looks at me, eyes widened, but nods her head, and says, "Alright, I'll
start packing. Give me thirty minutes. Explain everything to mom and dad,
please?"
"Yeah, of course. Thanks, Lu." I tell her before heading back to my room,
and getting my bags. I set them downstairs by the door, heading back into
the kitchen where my parents were, "Hey, guys, Lu and I are going to head
out soon."
"What about lunch, bud?" My dad asks.
I lean against the counter, "Uh, I'm sorry but I need to go home. I have
someone who needs me-"
"Is Emma okay?" My mom asks quickly worry in her tone.
My heart warms at the care my mom already shows for her, "I don't
know. Something's going on, but she couldn't tell me over the phone, and
last night-" I exhale a long breath, "I don't even know."
"Oh, honey," my mom comes over to rub my back, "why don't you bring
her some of the leftover cake from Jackson's birthday last night. Eating
always makes me fell better, and lord knows that kid doesn't need to ingest
any more sugar."
I smile weakly, "No, that's okay, mom."
"Alright, well, if you need anything, or if she does, please call us."
"I will."
†††
A few hours later, Lu and I are close to the city. She hasn't said much to
me for the past three hours, but I knew she was chomping at the bit. Sitting
here, not able to move around, was adding to my anxiety a lot. I had asked
Lu to call her a few times on my phone, but she hasn't answered a single
one of my calls. In fact, they started to go straight to voicemail like she had
turned it off.
I was feeling that familiar buildup in the pit of my stomach, the weight
on my chest intensifying, but I kept myself under control. I just kept
focused on Emma, and how badly she needed me right now.
"Harry, is Emma okay?" Luanne asks me out of nowhere.
I glance over at her, eyes finding the road again, "She's just- I don't know,
Lu. She hasn't told me what exactly is going on."
Peripherally, I see her nod my head, but find myself annoyed at the
slowing traffic. Within five minutes we are at a standstill, a major traffic
jam keeping us locked in place.
"Fuck!" I curse out.
"Hey, everything's going to be fine, Harry. Emma's a strong woman, she
can get through whatever this is, and soon enough you'll be with her, okay?"
Lu tries to comfort me.
I shake my head, "She shouldn't have to be dealing with all this shit.
She's so goddamn perfect, and for some reason she can't seem to catch a
break. I swear, if this has anything to do with her fucking ex, I'm going to
kill him." I grit out.
Lu's eyes widen, "You think that Jake guy did something?"
"I don't know. Something happened over the break, and then last night
she calls me at, like, two in the morning and starts crying, and-" I close my
eyes for a moment, head resting on the headrest behind me. I exhale a long
breath, focusing in on my chest movements. If I kept going like this, I knew
I would be having an attack sooner rather than later.
"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry." Lu reaches over and grabs my hand, holding it
tight in hers, "Knew you and Emma were together, but I didn't realize it was
this serious."
I blinked open my eyes and looked over at her, "What? You knew?"
She rolls her eyes at me, "Please, everyone knew. You two are the most
obvious secret couple in history. You look at her like she's a dream, Harry."
I rest my elbow near the window, hand combing through my hair, "Can't
help it."
"Of course not. You're in love." She says bluntly, "About as useless at
hiding it as Oli and I were."
 I breathe out a small laugh, "Yeah, I guess so. I just need to be with her,
Lu. This distance has been killing me."
"We'll be there soon, H. Here, I'll give her another call."
But she doesn't answer again. I wish I had Millie's number so I could call
her and check to see if she knew what happened. Every second was like the
anvil above my head got closer to falling, threatening to snap off it's rusty
chain. Lu tried to keep me calm, but I was barely listening to her, just trying
desperately to keep my breathing under control.
Traffic moved painfully slow, stopping for minutes at a time. Lu had
looked on her phone and found out there was an eight car pile up about ten
miles south, which meant we were very far back and ended up stuck in
traffic for almost two extra hours.
Not once did I receive a text or call from Emma, this being the first time
we hadn't said at least good morning to each other in close to a month.
Finally, we escaped the traffic and I sped up considerably, weaving between
cars gracefully but urgently.
I helped Lu with her bags quickly, and rushed out of her apartment. The
drive to Emma's seemed to take forever, but when I finally parked I
practically ran inside and up the stairs, too impatient for the elevator. When
I swung the door open for the third floor, I took a sharp right and headed
down her hall, but nearly halted when I saw the yellow tape on a door a
little ways away.
A door I was certain was Emma's.
My heart rate picked up, sight narrowing as if I had horse blinders on.
Emma was at her mom's all week. She was supposed to get back this
morning. Certainly, if something happened then police officers would still
be here, and if it happened a few days ago then she wouldn't have been
here. She had to be safe.
I checked the time on my phone: nearly three in the afternoon. I cursed,
speeding up as I neared her door. When I got there I felt as if my body
suddenly couldn't move. I was frozen on the spot, my eyes taking in the
sight of her door being blocked with yellow caution tape. Two simple strips
forming an X to stop people from going in and out. The door was almost
shut, but I could see the splintered wood near the lock as if someone had
pushed the door in.
I tried to take a deep breath in, but I almost choked on it. I closed my
eyes, shaking my head. I needed to get my shit together. I swallowed down
my own pain and worry, and hesitantly knocked on her door. I didn't know
what to do. I knew she probably wasn't there, but she hadn't answered a
single one of my texts all day. I had to take the chance in case she was in
her apartment.
After a few seconds, my hands gripped the frame of her door. My leg
bounced on the ball of my feet as I shut my eyes once again. I didn't know
what to do. I needed to be with her, but I couldn't fucking get to her.
"She's not here."
My head whipped up to see Millie carrying a very full laundry basket. I
frown, stepping away from Emma's broken door, and walking towards the
pregnant girl. Without a second thought, I take the basket from her, and ask,
"What happened?"
"Thanks." She says before giving me a sympathetic look, "I don't think I
should be the one to tell you..."
I grit my teeth, following her to her apartment, "Millie, I'm dying right
now. She won't answer her phone-"
"She probably doesn't have her phone right now."
My face scrunches up in confusion, "What? Why wouldn't she have her
phone?"
She glances back at me, wide eyed and realizing she probably shouldn't
have sad anything before unlocking her door. "Well... I think she's at the
police station right now. She's been gone since ten this morning, so she
should be home soon. Why don't you just stay and wait for her here?"
"She's at the police station?" I ask, setting her laundry basket on the
counter. I turn to face her, looking her dead in the eyes, "What did he do?"
She bit her lip, looking uncomfortable. It was clear that she wanted
Emma to be the one to tell me, but I needed some answers right now. We
stared at each other for a moment until she couldn't take it any longer,
looking down and saying, "He broke into her place. I found it like that
yesterday morning and called her. She drove back here yesterday, and now
she's filing a full report, and they're trying to recover all the messages she
deleted from Jake, so they could get a restraining order going."
How come she didn't tell me? I remember her telling me on Christmas
Eve how she wanted to wait to tell me what was making her so sad. She
wanted me to be there in person, so I could hold her. She didn't want to be
alone while she relived these moments.
 Suddenly, I realized I made the wrong choice. I should've been with her. I
should have gotten her mother's address out of her, and drove all night to
get to her. She needed me and I wasn't there. I knew she was downplaying
whatever had happened, and if I would've trusted my instincts, I would've
been there for her to get the call about her place. I would've driven her
down. I would've been able to hold her while she called the police.
My chest felt like it was caving in on itself. I tried to control my
emotions, but I felt dizzy as everything rushed through me.
"I need to sit down." I mumble.
"Take the couch." She says quickly, noticing my sudden change in
demeanor. I'm sure I was ghostly pale, clammy, and there was no way she
hadn't seen the way my hands were shaking. "Harry, are you okay?"
I tried to remember to take deep breaths as I sat down on the couch, and
focused in on the only thing I felt could calm me. The mental image of her
wasn't enough, though, so I fumbled for my phone. I felt Millie's eyes on
me, but didn't care as I found a picture of just Emma. She was sitting in
front of the fire I made love to her at the cottage, adorned by my jumper,
smiling up at my phone. Her bright smile shown through the lens, causing
my heart to slow from the erratic pace from before. Her cheeks were full,
round, and a little pink from whatever I had said to her before I took this
photo.
My eyes took in her entire body and face, my mind trying to keep my
focus on my angel. I could tell it was working a little, because the dizziness
and nausea that had been threatening me disappeared. I was still breathing
heavily, and my heart was pounding, but I wasn't worried about dying like I
usually was during an anxiety attack.
Closing my eyes, I pressed my phone to my heart, resting my head in the
palm of my hand, elbow on my knee. My hand was still shaky, and I felt the
perspiration on my forehead, but I kept my focus on Emma.
The way she said my name. How sweet she sounded when she called me
baby. The way her eyes flashed when I said something suggestive, or how
confident she was when she climbed on top of me. How her eyes crinkled
slightly when she grinned, and how amazing her laugh was.
Everything about her was calming to me. She was my white noise to help
me sleep at night. Her scent filled my senses so I could never be rid of her.
She was my anchor to this world, keeping my feet solid to the grown when
my own body and mind threatened to crumble my very existence. She was
everything. She was my everything.
"Hey, it's okay, Harry." Millie says quietly, her hand squeezing my
shoulder in comfort, "Emma, will be back soon. She's been there for hours
already. I bet she's already on her way back, okay?"
I nod, eyes still closed shut, and exhale a long breath. She'll be here soon.
In my arms.
"Let me make you some tea. That's what my mom always used to do
when I was overwhelmed, or, uh, yeah..."
I heard her walk away, the sound of water filling up a kettle. I counted
my breaths, five in, five out, feeling my heart rate slow, although it was still
beating harshly. I felt like if I looked down I would be able to see it beating
against my chest, threatening to burst out of my chest and fall to the ground.
By the time she came back to the couch, I had everything under control.
My body was still unpleasantly buzzing, the anvil still swinging over my
head, but I could breathe normally. My head lifted, and stared at the cup
placed in front of me. The liquid teetered from side to side, the action of her
walking and putting it down making it nearly escape the glass cup. It takes
me a moment but I do end up reaching out for the tea, carefully bringing it
to my lips. My hands are trembling, the after effects of my anxiety attack
still flowing through my limbs.
I sip at it, feeling the hot water sting my tongue, but it makes me come
back down to earth. Millie had made peppermint tea for me, and I smiled at
the memory of my mom making me the same type once after an episode
when I was younger.
"Thank you." My voice is scratchy and weak, but I send her a tight-
lipped smile.
"She'll be here soon, Harry." She pats my back, and all I can do is nod.
The time ticks on, and another hour passes. I finish the tea, falling back
on the couch, head resting on the back cushion, eyes closed. My leg
bounces up and down, yet I am exhausted enough I could fall asleep. My
body was crashing, the week or so I haven't been sleeping well catching up,
added to my sleepless night last night and my attack from earlier, and I was
about ready to doze off.
I fought it, however, desperate to be here when she walked through
Millie's front door. Millie had stayed close, watching me to make sure I
didn't freak out again. I was mildly embarrassed, but I had more important
things playing on my mind.
"Why don't you take a nap?" Millie suggest after another twenty minutes.
I shake my head, "Want to be here when she comes back."
"You will." She says soothingly, "If you don't think the first thing she'll
do his wake you up when she sees that you're here then you're an idiot."
I send her a look, her face smirking at me and continues, "Seriously,
Harry, you look exhausted. You're about to crash any minute now anyways,
so why not be a little well-rested for her when she gets back. She's gonna
need you, and I think you guys have a lot of things to talk about."
I bite the inside of my cheek, contemplating for a second before I nod
slowly. She was right. I was close to falling asleep anyways, and I wanted
to be present when Emma was here.
"Take the couch. It's already set up from Emma last night." She tells me,
taking my empty cup and heading to her kitchen. Her layout was almost
exactly the same as Emma's which was comforting.
I scooted down the couch and laid down, taking the blanket that Emma
had wrapped herself up in last night. The moment my head found the
pillow, I breathe in her scent. The vanilla swarmed my senses, sending a
chill down my spine. Eyes closing shut, I nuzzled my face not the fluffy
pillow, arm bending underneath it, and slowly drifting off to sleep.
†††
"Harry... Harry, baby?"
I smiled, the sound of her voice echoing through my entire body. Dreams
of her filtered throughout my sleep, innocent ones where she played with
my hair, traced the tattoos on my skin, or molded her body against mine
while we were on the couch.
"I'm here, Harry..."
I felt her delicate fingers comb through my messy hair then traveling to
cup my jaw, thumb grazing my cheekbone. It felt so real, the warmth of her
body near mine.
"Wake up, baby... I'm sorry I worried you, but I'm here now."
I turned a bit in my half asleep state, sighing when I felt her soft, plush
lips against my forehead. Blinking open my eyes, I focused on the beauty
that was sitting on the couch, leaning over to look down at me.
"Angel?"
She smiled sweetly, a sadness and fatigue in her eyes, "Baby."
 My arm wraps around her waist, tugging her up closer to me. She
breathes out a small laugh, bending over to kiss me. It was too short, but
very sweet, pulling slightly at my bottom lip when she ended it. My hand
comes up to cup her cheek, studying her face. My heart clenched at the tired
look. It was obvious she had been through a lot since I had left her last.
"Oh, Emma." I nearly whisper.
Her brow furrows, eyes holding back emotion. She sits up a bit, which
worries me, but then I realize she's just slipping off her shoes so she can lay
down with me.
Millie's couch isn't very large, so she molds her body against mine, me
completely turning on my side, arm hugging her to me. It feels like I'm still
dreaming having her so close now. Feeling as though a lifetime has passed
since I've had my angel in my arms.
"I'm so sorry, darling." I tell her.
"Did Millie tell you?" She asked, staring at my lips as her thumb
followed the line of my jaw.
"Just the basics. She didn't want to tell me." I say, watching her closely,
"I couldn't take not knowing, though."
She cringes, "I'm sorry, baby. I woke up early to go to the gym to get
some frustrations out, and then I needed to go to the police station to file a
full report. They took my phone away from me for hours trying to get back
all those texts."
"It's okay. I get it, Emma. It was just hard not knowing what was going
on with you. Especially after last night."
At this she smiles, eyes meeting mine, "Do you understand how perfect
you are?"
"I'm not perfect." I tell her honestly.
She shakes her head slowly, "But you are. You're the only reason I'm
even remotely okay right now."
I frown, "Will you tell me what happened?"
She sighs, "You're going to see it anyways, and I'm sure you saw my
door."
"Nearly gave me a heart attack."
She frowns as well, leaning in to peck my lips, "Millie called me
yesterday, and told me my place had been broken in to, so I drove down.
Found my apartment completely destroyed, called the police and Oliver-"
"Oliver?"
 She nods, "Don't be mad that he didn't call you. I told him I would tell
you today when I saw you. Wanted to do it in person, so I could keep you
calm."
My brows furrowed, "You shouldn't be worrying about me, angel."
"I always worry about you."
I close my eyes for a second, resting my forehead against hers. She didn't
say it like I was a burden or a hassle. She said it with such compassion that
my heart beat quickened.
"Just like you always worry about me." She finishes softly.
"I'm not mad at Oli, or you for not telling me what happened. I get why
you didn't want to do it over the phone." I tell her honestly.
She kisses me again, still short and sweet. She was keeping me calm with
her touch and lips, purposefully kissing me any time she felt like I might
need it - which was all the time honestly.
"I told the police that I knew it was Jake. Took hours of questioning, and
they brought in Niall and Lauren to question too, which is why I was gone
for so long." Emma says.
"Niall and Lauren?" I ask quizzically.
She pulls her head back a little, so we could look into each other's eyes
easier, "Yeah, Niall was a witness to some of the harassment at work, and
Lauren told them about what happened to her."
"What did they say about it all?"
"Well," she exhales a long breath, "they said it's going to be tough if they
can't recover the texts, because everything's he-said-she-said. My
restraining order can't be passed without concrete evidence."
"I won't let him get near you."
Her face softened, hand cupping my cheek, "Oh, baby."
"I can't let anything happen to you, Emma. I can't." I say with every fiber
of my being. Her face scrunches up, but I continue, "This was one of the
hardest weeks of my life, not being around you. I don't even think I fully
realized just how important you are in my day-to-day life."
"I know what you mean." She answers quietly, "Felt like the days
dragged on, but whenever we got a chance to talk it went by too fast."
I swallow, "Don't ever want to be away from you for that long again."
"Then don't."
My heart was pounding, and I was just about to say it when Millie
walked into the living room. She made eye contact with me, smirked, and
said, "Don't you two look comfy."
Emma turned her head, but didn't move away, "Hey, Mil, how are you
feeling?"
"Much better. Think I just needed a nap."
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
She waved me off, "Just some pain here and there, but it's normal."
I glanced at Emma, and saw her biting her lip and looking worriedly at
her best friend. That was more pressure added to her, and I haven't even
found out what had happened before Jake had broken into her apartment.
How much could this girl even take before she crumbled. It honestly
impressed me, considering I was barely keeping my life together.
"Are you guys hungry?" Millie asks, pulling out a banana and peeling it.
Emma lifts herself up, and I follow, my arm staying wrapped around her
waist. I needed to hold her, that much was clear.
"We're supposed to be going out with everyone in a few hours." Emma
mumbles through a yawn.
I frowned, "Angel, we don't have to go out tonight. I know you're
probably exhausted-"
Her blue eyes pleaded with me, "What? You don't want to go out?"
"You do?" I asked surprised.
She nods, "I don't want him to take away something I've been looking
forward to for weeks. I've never spent a New Year's Eve with anyone."
"Really? But what about when you were dating... him?" I tried to ignore
the bitter taste from my mouth as I said it.
She looked down, "He said he made plans our first year together and last
year he was supposed to pick me up, but never showed. Turned out he got
plastered at a dive bar downtown and forgot about me."
I clenched my jaw, "Fuck him." She huffed a laugh out through her nose.
"And you never did anything before that?"
"When I lived with my mom we always stayed up, of course, but when I
went to college I decided to go out by myself once - I hadn't made any close
friends - but I was anxious and stressed all night being in the large crowd by
myself. Been staying in on my couch every year since."
My hand reaches up, knuckles stroking her cheek, "So you want to go out
tonight?"
"I'd like to." She says, "Plus, I miss everyone, and wouldn't mind seeing
them."
 I smiled, loving how easily she fit in with my friends. They were now
just as much her friends as they were mine, and I could see how much it
meant to her. I remember my mom telling me how her fear of losing them
might be why she was reluctant to tell people about us. I understood that. I
understood how important and meaningful their kindness and friendship
was too Emma. How if she lost them, then she would be alone.
"If we go out, I might have a very hard time holding back a midnight
kiss." I tell her.
"Then don't."
My heart stuttered, her repeat of words ringing through my head, "You're
okay if I kiss you in front of everyone?"
She shrugs, "Why not? I really want you to be my first kiss of the new
year."
"What's changed?"
She smiles coyly, eyes still tired, but a layer of happiness now shining
through, as she says, "New year, new me."
A laugh escapes me before I kiss her. Not a short one like we have been
sharing, but a deep and slow embrace. Before I could go any further, a loud,
"Oi!" filled the apartment.
We separate and look at Millie, "None of that lovey-dovey shite, alright?
Making me feel lonely as hell over here."
†††
After another hour at Millie's where she convinced us to have a little
snack before leaving for the night, we stopped by Emma's so she could get a
few things. All the important stuff she had still packed from her mom's, but
she wanted to get the dress she had bought for tonight.
When I walked into her apartment, my breath was stolen. Wide, horrified
eyes took in everything. It was one of the most terrifying scenes I've ever
seen, knife marks in her couch, marks along the walls where he had thrown
plates and cups against the wall. Glass glistened in her carpet, making it
dangerous for either of us to even walk inside.
Slowly, I stepped forward. Emma was at the hallway when she turned to
see my reaction. She was biting her lip anxiously, obviously not sure how I
would react. Careful eyes followed me as I studied every bit of Jake's hate,
my own building inside me. My hands were clenched and shaking trying to
hold in my anger.
 When I stood in front of her, I saw the framed picture of her and her mom
the day she graduated from uni. It had clearly been punched and suddenly
pictures of what Jake could actually do to her floated in my mind. I could
see him with a knife in hand, stalking up to her. I could see him trapping her
in a corner, so she couldn't do anything. I could see her wrapping his hand
around her neck.
I rushed forward, Emma backing up until she hit the wall behind her. My
hands found the wall of plaster on either side of her head, my forehead
meeting hers, eyes shut tightly. I gasped for air, her hands finding my face
immediately. Her touched calmed me slightly, but I was seeing red.
"I'm going to kill him." I grit out, trying to even out my breathing. "I'm
gonna fucking end him."
"No, you're not." Emma says firmly.
My forehead leaves hers, face leaning back to look at her hard, "Emma-"
"No, you are not."
I clenched my jaw, "He's evil. He will do everything to keep you in pain."
"I know that." I can't believe how calm she is acting right now, the
exhaustion leaving her eyes, fire replacing it. "I will not let you make a
stupid decision."
"I should've taken care of this a long time ago."
"And do what?" She asked fiercely, hands still cupping my face, "Beat
him up? End up in a scrap where you get hurt too?"
I practically growl, "I don't care if I get hurt."
"Well, I do!" She says frustrated at my lack of care for myself, "I care so
fucking much if you get hurt for me. You always say how you can't have
anything happen to me. Well, it's exactly the same on my end. Do you know
how that would make me feel?"
I hesitated before saying, "I can't let him keep doing this to you."
"Then support me by just being there for me. I'm handling this. The
police are involved-"
"What if that's not enough? What if it only angers him more?"
"Then we will deal with it. Together." She says firmly. "Harry, I will not
let you get hurt because of me. I will not let you get arrested for beating the
shit out of him. We both know he would press charges against you.
Remember, I protect you just like you protect me."
I close my eyes again, taking in a deep breath, "This is killing me."
"I know, honey, I know."
 Her soft voice is easing away some of the pain, but I need more. My right
hand comes off the wall, hovering a bit like it didn't quite know what to do
until it gripped the back of her head, fingers fisting her hair. My face falls to
her neck, burying myself in the sweet vanilla smell that lulled me to sleep
earlier.
I breathed her in, focusing on her hands, now caressing up and down my
back, pulling me in closer. I nudge her with my nose, saying quietly, "I need
you."
There was a slight pause before she says quietly, "I know, Harry. I need
you to."
Chapter Forty-Four

HARRY
Not a single spot in Emma's apartment was left alone. Jake had literally
destroyed almost all of her possessions. Her TV was smashed, the glass on
her coffee table shattered. I was trying to sweep up the glass in the kitchen
while she sorted through her clothes.
There was an unspoken agreement that she would be staying with me
until things were sorted. Neither of us had to say anything to the other,
knowing that where we both wanted to be was with each other.
I couldn't imagine coming home to this. How could Emma ever feel safe
here? This was her own space, and Jake had violated it to the extreme. I
pushed back my anger, still fighting the urge to hunt him down and beat the
living shit out of him, but Emma was right: I could easily be arrested for
doing that. I could just imagine the smug look on that assholes face as he
pressed charges against me. I wouldn't risk having to leave Emma just to
get my hands on him. He didn't deserve that satisfaction.
When I entered her room earlier and saw exactly what he had done to her
bed and clothes, I nearly threw up. More and more images of him hurting
her came to mind. What if Emma had been home during this. I'm assuming
Jake was blind-drunk, and I don't think he would've been able to stop
himself from hurting her.
Emma had assumed that he had come over after Lauren dumped him. Her
and Lauren had had a long talk after she had talked to the police, Lauren
apologizing for bringing Emma up during it. It had apparently gotten pretty
heated, and Lauren let it slip that she talked to Emma.
So now it was ingrained in Jake's mind that Emma's the reason he was
broken up with, and his incredibly large ego couldn't handle the fact. I was
more than worried about what he was planning next, but I had to trust that
she would be able to get a restraining order.
 And anyways, she would be with me from now on. If he came near her
while I was around then I wouldn't stop myself from what I really wanted to
do.
I swept the pile of glass shards into the corner, trying my best to clean up
for her. This would probably take a few days to completely clean up, and
she would need to get rid of a lot of furniture. She had told me her landlord
would be bringing in a replacement door tomorrow, so at least that wold be
done for her.
"You didn't have to do that, Harry."
I turned around to see Emma standing to the side, duffel in hand, filled
with extra clothes and things that she needed that weren't destroyed. I
leaned the broom against her counter, and walked over to her. Taking her
face in my hands, I pulled her in for a kiss.
She gladly kissed me back, our lips molding together as they were meant
to. When we parted, lips staying close, I said, "Yes, I did."
She exhales a deep breath, stepping closer to me, and buried her face in
the crook of my neck. I heard her bag drop to the floor, our arms wrapping
around each other in a tight hug. I pressed a kiss into her hair, before
asking, "Em, can we talk about what happened over break?"
With a sigh, she lifted her head from my neck, "Can we just have
tonight? I just want one night where everything's normal, and not a shit
show."
My hand came up to cup her jaw, my thumb petting at her soft cheek, "If
that's what you want." She nods. "But, Emma, you've got to tell me
tomorrow. You can't keep holding all this in. It's not healthy."
"I know, baby." She says softly, "I don't mean to. I'm just not used to
having someone to tell."
"Well, you've got me now. Let me hold some of your pain."
Her face scrunches up, water building in her eyes, "I feel like
everything's crashing down on me. Like I'm suffocating."
"Oh, angel." I whisper, "I'm so sorry."
She shakes her head, eyes shutting to keep the tears at bay, "No,
tomorrow. Tonight is for us. I want to have fun and laugh and kiss you at
midnight."
I breathe out a laugh, "Okay, okay, tonight is for fun. We'll get back to
real life tomorrow."
†††
 Back at my place, I waited patiently for Emma to get ready. I had taken a
shower while she unpacked her stuff. There was something about watching
her through the steamy glass of my shower doors, unloading her makeup
into my drawers and cabinets. My heart swelled, hoping she would be
staying for a while. In fact, I would be fine if she never left.
When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my waist, and dried my hair
with another one. I gave her quick kiss before leaving the bathroom and
putting on some clothes. The domesticity of blow-drying my hair while she
curled hers next to me made me smile. I could see us every morning getting
ready together, sharing small kisses and gentle touches in our bathroom.
I finished well before her, waiting downstairs on the couch for her. We
were meeting everyone at the bar and we were running a little late, but I
didn't care. I wasn't going to rush Emma. She wanted a fun, perfect New
Year's Eve, and I was determined to give that to her.
"Okay, I'm ready."
I stand up and turn around to look at her. Her brown hair was wavy,
looking more like her natural hair in the morning after a night of sex. Her
makeup was dark and glittery, her blue eyes standing out amongst the black
smoky eye. Her skin looked radiant, the slight tan she had going on in the
winter impressive. A black dress hung on her body, a deep v neckline
showing off her incredible cleavage, fabric fitted perfectly to her waist, and
a long slit up her thigh. She looked delicious, and under normal
circumstances I would've thrown her on the couch and fucked her raw.
I smiled, walking up to her, "You look beautiful, Emma"
I took her hand in mine and brought it up to my lips. My eyes flickered
down as I kiss the back of her hand, softening at the sight of her wearing the
bracelet I bought for her. I kept her hand in mine and looked for the ring,
smiling when I saw it on her ring finger on her right hand. I brought it back
to my lips, kissing the cold rose gold ring.
When my eyes met hers, I saw the emotion seeping out of them, looking
at me as though I was the angel. She was looking at me like I look at her.
Like she was in love.
Her hand reached behind me, cupping the back of my neck, and pulling
me into another kiss. I felt her urgency and pain, but I also felt her passion.
I stepped closer, backing her up into the wall so I could feel every bit of her
body against mine. Her fingers tangled into my hair as she deepened the
kiss, our tongues meeting in the middle.
 We hadn't had a chance to share an embrace like this since we reunited. It
had been soft pecks or short kisses, but now we weren't holding back. I was
tempted to do what I wanted: hike her dress up, unbutton my pants, and side
right into her. Fuck her against the wall like an animal. I was hungry like
one, that was for sure, the way I nearly growl into her mouth when she bites
down on my lower lip.
I'm so wrapped up the way her lips and tongue so urgently move against
mine, that I don't noticed her unbuttoning my shirt until her hands find the
heated skin of my stomach. I groan at the feeling, her cold fingertips
causing goosebumps to appear everywhere. My hand moves from her ass to
her thigh, hiking it up to my waist.
"Yes." She whispers against my lips, but wastes no time in connecting
our now swollen and wet lips again.
My brows furrow, whining into her mouth, as her hands move to my back
and down to grope my ass, pulling me into her hips. I was straining against
my pants, cock throbbing and begging to be free of its restraints. I could
just imagine how warm and wet she was, her tight, pulsing walls sucking
me in deep. My hand was fisting her hair, trying to keep control, but I just
couldn't do it anymore.
"Fuck it." I mumbled against her lips, hands flying to the hem of her
dress to pull it up past her waist. She gasps and thrusts my hips into her,
groaning as I feel the heat radiating out of her. My hands move to unbuckle
my belt, and I say huskily, "Was trying to be a gentleman, but you just won't
let me."
Our eyes met, green eyes darkening and blue eyes dilating. The sound of
heavy breathing was the only thing filling the room as my hands worked to
free myself. When the sound of my zipper joined our breaths she moaned.
I nearly came on the spot, everything so fucking hot between us. It was
unbridled, desperate need. My eyes flickered down to see the tiniest black,
lace thong covering her up, bikini line looking smooth and lickable.
I was tempted to drop to my knees and taste her, but I knew both of us
were at a point of no return. She needed me to fill her up, stretch her out
like she hasn't felt in over a week, and I need her warmth to hug me and
clench around until I shoot my cum inside her.
I want her to feel me dripping out of her pussy all night.
My finger hooked around the fabric that covered her slit, pulling it back
until it snapped back into place. I panted at the sound, eyes widening when
I saw that I had gotten some of her juice onto the top of my finger. She was
so wet that she was escaping out of her folds.
I bring my finger up, encasing it in my mouth, her watching me darkly.
Finally, she had enough, and says, "Harry, fuck me. Right now."
That's all it took for me to pull my erection out of my pants, grip the back
of her thighs, and lift her. Her legs wrap around my back, the feeling of her
stilettos against my bum exciting me further. She reaches down and pulls
her thong to the side, our eyes meeting when my tip meets her opening.
"You better not get cum on my dress."
I smile devilishly, "Love it when you boss me around."
Before she could say another word, I thrusted forward, burying myself to
the hilt. She was so wet that I was met with no resistance, but groaned
lewdly at how tight she was. She whined, head falling back, exposing her
neck to me. I found my face in its favorite place, kissing her pulse point as I
let her adjust.
It was just like our first time in the shower: her up against a wall, and me
desperately trying not to cum too soon. I usually had to spend my time
opening her up, but neither of us could wait this time. It had been too long
since we had felt each other this way.
"Feels so good, angel."
Emma whimpers, "Don't leave me. Never again. Need you. Fuck, I need
you so bad, Harry. Can't go this long without you ever again."
My heart clenched at her words, "Angel, look at me."
She lowered her chin and opened her eyes, the blue blissed out and hazy,
"Harry." She whispers.
I pull out slowly, her jaw dropping at the feeling, "I promise, I'll never
leave you."
Snapping my hips back to hers, she screams out in painful ecstasy, walls
still tight as ever. "Harry." She whispers again, making me feel dizzy.
I surge forward and connect our lips for only a second, nipping at her
bottom lip until it snapped back into place, "Don't ever stop saying my
name."
Our eyes met again, emotion flowing through us as I thrusted into her
over and over again. Our noses nudges, lips grazed as we basked in the
feeling of being connected. Small pants and keens left our mouths, and
every time my name slipped off her tantalizing tongue, whether a whisper,
moan, or scream, I felt my heart grow.
 No one would ever make me feel the way she did, and I was desperate to
tell her how much I loved her. That she was the love of my life.
But I wouldn't tell her for the first time, as I fucked her dirty against the
wall. No, I would roll over tomorrow morning, kiss her lips, and smile as
she opened her sleepy eyes, and then I would tell her. She would wake up to
my love, both verbal and physical, and I would take her slowly, drawing out
our highs as I made love to her.
Tonight, I would grip her thighs, making little marks of my fingertips on
her skin. I would bite and nip at her lips and skin while her hands tugged at
my hair, or scratched up my back. Tonight, we were rough and frantic,
needy and uncontrollable.
She was bobbing up and down, the force of my thrusts making it
impossible to kiss her properly, but that didn't stop us from trying. It was
messy and unrestrained in our yearning for one another until I was choking
out her name, holding back my climax to get her there.
"I'm close, Ha- Ah!" She squeaked out, face scrunching up at the
overwhelming feeling.
Her walls were spasming and clenching, making my thrusts sloppy and
erratic. My legs felt weak, like they could give out on me any second now.
"Just... more. I need more." Emma choked out.
I groaned, not knowing how long I could take this, and found my husky
voice saying, "Squeeze your legs, angel. Hold on."
I felt her tighten around my waist, her thick thighs strong. One of my
hands let go of her leg, and dove in-between us, thumb immediately
connecting to her clit. I don't waste time, knowing we don't have any by
furiously circling the little bundle of nerves. She cries out my name, walls
fluttering around my cock in time with the heavy beat of my heart.
Gasping out in pleasure, she pushes her back into the wall, legs
squeezing me, hips starting to buck. Her face was glowing, a thin layer of
sweat starting to build, eyes shut tight, and mouth wide open. The way she
was pulling at my hair made me even more wild, thrusting into her harder,
and finally I got her orgasm.
I watched in awe as her back slowly arched, head falling back, little
sounds leaving her followed by quick gasps. I only got the view for a few
seconds before I exploded inside of her, long, hot spurts of my cum coating
her walls as my face fell into her neck.
 It seemed to last forever, as if our orgasms had built up over the time we
had missed. Somehow I was able to stay upright, both of us clinging on to
each other in a much gentler way. Her fingers combed through my hair,
while mine connected under her butt, so she could rest her legs a bit.
Slowly, I came to, pressing soft kisses into her neck, making my way up
to her sensitive spot below her ear. I suck lightly, not enough to leave a
mark, but enough to hear her sigh out in pleasure. My lips grazed along her
jaw until I kissed the corner of her mouth. Eyes still closed, I felt her smile
first. Lips upturned, matching mine before we met in a meaningful
embrace.
How we could go from dirty, rough sex to soft sweet and gentle kisses
always astounded me, but it was one of my favorite things about our
relationship. It was always so easy. We always knew what we wanted in
intimacy and weren't scared to show it.
"That was..." She says quietly, almost in a whisper, against my swollen
lips.
"Perfect." I finish for her, kissing her once more.
After a few peck, my eyes blinked open, and I found her beautiful blue
eyes peering back at me. I don't think I ever wanted to leave this moment,
the perfection of it nearly too much for me to handle, but yet not enough.
It was never enough with Emma.
"We should probably get going, angel." I say, still seated inside her,
"Want to give you the perfect New Year's Eve."
She smiles and I can see that all of that stress and hurt from earlier had
been pushed back. It was still there, the slight bags under her eyes
prominent, but she was determined to not let him ruin this night.
"Our friends are waiting for us."
Her smile brightens at this making my heart swell. She nods, and says,
"Okay, I'm ready."
I look down, making sure her dress is still secure around her waist, so we
won't get it dirty. I slide out of her, muttering, "clench, darling," so my cum
doesn't spill out of her. I can see her do just that, legs unwrapping from me,
and I set her carefully down. Her legs wobble, but she gains control of them
fast.
I get a towel from the kitchen and wipe her clean, pulling her underwear
down her legs since they were covered in my cum. I pecked her lips before
running upstairs, depositing the towel and thong in the laundry basket, and
grabbing a fresh pair of panties for her.
She giggle at me when I lean down, and help her slide them back on,
adjusting her dress until it's perfect. She cleans up my face, the gloss from
her lips all over my mouth. I turn the main light off while she reapplies her
lipgloss at the entry way. Taking her hand, I fold my coat over my arm, still
warm from our activities, and walk her out to my car.
We're silent as I hold the door open for her, throwing my coat into the
back seat, and reversing out of my driveway. For most of the drive we just
listen to the soft music, an old Fleetwood Mac album playing from my
bluetooth. My hand found her leg, so I could touch her, and I felt myself
smile when her fingers started to trace my tattoos.
I glanced over every once in a while, at a red light, or when traffic
slowed to watch her. Her eyes stayed glued to my skin, starting at my wrist
and moving up my arm. My heart started to pound as I remembered the
tattoo I had gotten while at my parents before Christmas. Some old school
friends of mine opened a shop about ten years ago, and they were
responsible for most of my ink.
My thumb grazed the bare skin of her thigh, my hand resting between the
slit of her dress while I waited for her to discover the new piece of art near
the heart on my bicep. When her fingers stopped for the first time since she
first started her exploration, I knew she had found it.
Parking at the curb, about a block away from our bar, I turn to look at her.
Her blue eyes flickered up to mine, emotion clear as day.
"When did you get this?" She asks.
"Two days before Christmas." I answer her.
She looked back down at the constellation Aquila, the words Astra
Inclinant, Sed Non Obligant transcribed below it. She takes her time
thumbing over it, and then leans down to press a kiss to my skin.
I smile at her, watching her fondly, as she says, "And you say you're not
perfect."
The look she gave me - like I was stupid for not thinking so - was so
cute. I breathed out a laugh, hand grasping her chin, so I could lean down
and kiss her, "Ready?"
"Yeah."
The sidewalk was filled with people, everyone out and about to celebrate
the New Year. There were people spilling out of our regular bar, but the
bouncer let us in, knowing who we were. It was always weird seeing our
weekly hangout get this busy, a bouncer only necessary on holidays. The
stage was filled with three people singing awful karaoke, the one day out of
the year that they hosted a competition. The winner got free drinks for the
first three months of the year.
I held the door open for Emma, stepping in after her. I followed her to
our regular table, our friends already there, drinking and laughing. Maura's
face lit up when she saw Emma, standing up and bounding over. She
hugged her fiercely, yelling into her ear drunkenly, "I missed you!"
I heard Emma's laugh, sliding into my seat after everyone greeted us. The
girls fawned over each other, and I watched as Emma sat silent enjoying
their company. Sometimes I forget how quiet she could get in groups. She
was so confident and talkative around me, and to see her like this was
different. She was just as beautiful, though, the way she held back and
watched, instead of being the center of attention.
I could see Lu watching her closely, obviously worried about whatever
had made me freak out earlier today, but Emma did a good job at hiding it.
She was exhausted, however, clearer the longer we were there. She kept up
with conversation, laughing at appropriate times and answering questions,
but she was even quieter than usual. She wasn't even sitting by me, Maura
pulling her over to where her and Niall were, but we kept glancing at each
other.
Our eyes would meet, ensuring the other that we were both okay. A smile
would play on her lips before she was sucked into a conversation with
someone. Her elbows were on the table, chin resting on her intertwined
fingers. I watched as her head tilted listening to Mike tell a story.
"If you keep staring, then everyone's going to know for sure."
I turn and roll my eyes at my sister who had just returned from the
bathroom, "I don't care if they know."
She smirked, "I'm surprised you guys came out tonight. Figured you
would be staying in."
"Emma wanted to see you guys. She's been looking forward to tonight
for a long time." I tell her.
"Is she okay?"
I glance at Lu, who was looking at Emma, "Em's the strongest person I've
ever met. She'll get past this."
 Her lips form a mischievous smile, "I think she needs a little bit of
cheering up."
I furrow my brows, suspiciously looking down at my sister, "What do
you have planned?"
She just shrugged, sipping at her beer. Five minutes later I found out.
"Okay, everyone, next up on stage is Luanne and Emma singing I Wanna
Dance With Somebody!" The announcer on stage said.
I turned to look at Luanne, who stood up proudly wooing. Emma's smile
fell immediately, realizing that she was the Emma that was supposed to go
up and sing with her. Her eyes widen, jaw dropping at Luanne's
outstretched hand. Maura and Niall had gotten up out of the booth to let her
out, Maura pulling at her upper arm. I watched as her face blushed, an
adorable shade up pink filling her cheeks.
"What? No." She shakes her head, but she's already standing up, and
Luanne has grabbed her hand and started to pull her towards the direction of
the stage.
She looks back wildly, finding my eyes, pleading silently with me to save
her, but I knew there wasn't a damn thing I could do. Once Lu made a
decision there was no stopping her. Our whole table stood to watch them,
Mike and Maura cheering them on loudly as the music started before Lu
could even get Emma up the stairs to the stage.
The announcer handed Lu both microphones and walked off while Lu
spoke to a frightened Emma. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but it
looked like Lu had calmed down Emma slightly. The crowd erupted in
cheers when Emma reluctantly took the mic and stood next to my sister,
pulling her dress down and checking her cleavage to make sure nothing was
about to slip in front of the big crowd.
I chuckle and as if she heard it, her eyes found mine in the back,
playfully glaring at me. I bit back my smile, listening to Luanne start the
song.
"Clock strikes upon hour, and the sun begins to fade..." Luanne starts,
winking at Emma who clearly mouths the words "I hate you" at her. She
just laughs and continues, singing the first verse of the song, completely
unbridled. Every year she does this competition, and she's always a crowd
favorite being one of the better singers and usually not drunk off their ass
by the time they get on stage. She's never won though, this stupid one-
night-only karaoke contest being her white whale.
 Everyone in the bar is really into it, loving the confidence from Lu. I
shake my head at Oliver who calls out her name. She smiles brightly and
turns to Emma to start the chorus, "Oh, I wanna dance with somebody..."
She mouths, "C'mon," at a very nervous Emma, coaxing her into joining
in on the chorus. I watch my angel as she swallows down her nerves, and
brings the mic up to her lips, joining Lu and sings, "I wanna feel the heat
with somebody..."
I couldn't hear her voice all that well, but it seemed to blend well with
Lu's, causing the crowd to cheer. Emma's eyes went big as she noticed them
encouraging her on, and as the chorus continues she becomes more
confident. Once it ends, though, Lu leaning in to say something in Emma's
ears, making Emma shake her head. Lu nods, lifting Emma's arm up, so the
mic is in front of her mouth.
She takes a deep breath before reluctantly singing, "I've been in love and
lost my senses..."
My heart stuttered at the sound of her voice, a deep velvety voice leaving
her. It's meek and reluctant, but so Emma. Of course she could sing. I don't
think there was a damn thing she couldn't do.
The crowd erupted into one giant cheer, urging her to go on, and I saw
Emma's eyes find mine, a small, embarrassed smile gracing her face. I
smiled widely at her, sending her a thumbs up, and watched in awe as she
kept singing, "I need a man who'll take a chance, On a love that burns hot
enough to last..."
Her eyes don't leave mine as she sings, and I can feel a few eyes on me
besides her. I knew our friends could all see her singing to me, Lu looking
smug as fuck next to her. She finished up her solo, and turned to my sister,
smiling while they both belted the chorus again.
Suddenly, she was the confident Emma that I had grown accustomed to
in the privacy of my home. Lu had somehow brought it out of her, even
though she had an intense anxiety with crowds like this. I felt a surge of
love and gratitude towards my sister, loving the care she has showed the
woman I'm in love with. She knew she wasn't at her best or happiest, so she
distracted her. She distracted her with one of the most embarrassing and
nerve-racking things one could do, and, yet, it worked.
Emma didn't seem as uncomfortable, maybe a little awkward in her
movement, not knowing what to really do up there, but it came off as
endearing. The crowd loved them, a story arc completed right before their
very eyes.
When the song ended, everyone burst into cheers, a wolf whistle leaving
my lips, Oliver rushing up to them, picking up and spinning Lu. She squeals
out, Emma walking past them, her face more red now than it was before.
She cringed as she made her way to us, a few of our friends clapping at her
to make her even more embarrassed.
I couldn't keep my eyes off of her as she walked up to me, hands flying to
her face, my arms wrapping around her to engulf her in a tight hug.
"I'm so embarrassed." She mumbles into my chest.
I smile, burying my face into her hair, "Don't be. You were amazing,
angel."
She shook her head, both of us pulling away. She was biting her lip,
looking around to see that everyone saw us embracing so intimately, and
looked back at me. Not a shred of me cared that they saw, instead wishing I
could show her off more.
This time when we sit down, I pull her down next to me. Our thighs are
touching, and my arm rests on the top of the booth behind her. I could see
sly looks and smirks, some smug faces from Lu and Niall, as well as little
whispers here and there. We ignored them, just enjoying being able to be
ourselves around them.
The rest of the night goes by pretty fast, the clock ticking down to
midnight, as we continued to talk, getting louder and more excited. Emma
was still quiet, but her posture was much more relaxed, eventually leaning
into me. For the most part, we didn't really talk, occasionally, leaning into
each other to mention something. The feeling of her warm breath hitting my
neck, the sound of her low voice going straight to my soul.
It was ecstasy in itself, to have these moments with her that were just
between us. Our friends stopped caring so much as they drank more, both
Emma and I deciding to stick with only two drinks. Emma had told me
earlier it probably wouldn't be smart of her to drink when her emotions are
all over the place, and I wanted to be there for her if she crashed.
About five minutes before midnight, the staff passed around celebratory
glasses of champagne, and starts asking people to stand. We move to the
main floor, my hand on Emma's lower back, watching Mike and Niall sing
to the song that was now playing through the sound system loudly.
 Emma smiled, swaying to the music, as we waited for the countdown to
begin. I stood behind her, one arm wrapping around her upper chest, hand
holding onto her shoulder as I peck a kiss in her hair. I sway with her, both
of us sipping on the Champagne that was given to us.
Finally, the countdown started at thirty seconds. Everybody faced the
front, our group snugly in the middle of the room. I'm sure Emma could
probably feel my heart beating like crazy in my chest, her back pressed
firmly to my body. I had never had a midnight kiss with anyone as
important as her. Usually, I would find someone that night, join them at
their place or in the back of their car and fuck them, but tonight I had an
angel in my arms, waiting to whisk me away into the new year.
"Ten, nine, eight..." I whisper into her ear, her own countdown yelled,
champagne high in the air. Smiles graced both our faces, Emma turning
around to face me, looking up at me with such love and desire that I
couldn't finish the countdown.
My eyes were glued to hers as her joyful yell turned into my low
whispers, "Three, two, one."
All around us was cheering, streamers falling from the ceiling, pops all
around us as more champagne bottles were opened. None of it mattered,
though, as my hand cupped her jaw, leaning down slowly, eyes closing. I
felt her body step closer, her chest flush against mine, and I nudged her
nose to the side.
When my lips met her, it was soft, a little tentative. Unlike any other kiss
we had ever shared. To be surrounded by so many people, people we knew
and strangers alike, was something different for us. There was an obvious
audience, the familiar feeling of being watched present as I deepened our
slow embrace. She didn't hesitate to add her tongue, my own meeting hers
gently.
While I had felt a whole new level of intimacy with Emma today, this
topped the list. Not only were we sharing our love with each other, we were
sharing it amongst our friends. Nothing about our embrace was casual, not
one person could misconstrue our kiss as something two friends with no
dates on New Year's would do. It was obvious this wasn't our first, and I
kind of reveled in it.
I loved kissing Emma. She was responsive and playful, and her lips were
soft and inviting. The jolts of electricity that ran down my body whenever
our lips met was something I never thought was possible.
 Slowly, we parted, soft pecks taking place of our sensual kiss. I blinked
open my eyes, focusing in on her to see her smiling up at me. Her thumb
came up to wipe her lipgloss off my mouth, making me laugh.
My eyes glanced up to see Lu smiling wide, her phone up, obviously
taking our picture.
Once again, I didn't care. I only cared about the angel in my arms that
would soon know my love for her. More kisses follow, not allowing her to
leave my arms, as everyone kept celebrating and dancing around us. We
swayed together, ignoring everyone, lost in our own world.
And I didn't see any of that pain from earlier. I only saw happiness
emanating from her bright blue eyes.
Chapter Forty-Five

EMMA
I slept better than I had for the last couple days, but it still wasn't enough.
Everything I had pushed aside last night came crumbling back in my sleep,
weird dreams bothering me all night. Harry's warmth and presence had kept
me calm enough to fall asleep rather quickly, the feeling of his hand
slipping up the back of my shirt, gently caressing my skin, like a soft
melody.
Feeling the puff of air hitting my forehead every few seconds after I was
so desperate to feel him for so long, was everything I had asked for. He had
been so sweet all night, watching me, holding me, and that kiss was... I
don't think I could ever forget the feeling he gave me when his lips met
mine, not a shred of hesitation at the fact that we were surrounded by
people we knew.
That peace that had encompassed us last night was gone. I woke up
feeling everything. Stress and anger, the feeling that I could be crushed by
life any second. It all just built and built, and ignoring it last night seemed
to only make it worse.
I still had an ex who wanted nothing more than to hurt me. I had a
destroyed apartment that I couldn't live in any longer, and wasn't sure I
wanted to. He had taken away a space from me that had acted as a cocoon
of protection at some of my lowest times. My home wasn't a constant
reminder of Jake, like work was. He had never stayed the night at my place,
the most coming to pick me up while spewing comments about how trashy
it is.
He had ruined that safe space for me.
I was worried about Harry's reaction. Millie had told me that he had
nearly had a breakdown when he couldn't get ahold of me, and guilt had
immediately plagued me. I was so stressed about the Harry aspect of it all. I
didn't want to be a burden on him. I didn't want to add to his anxiety, and it
seemed like that was all I was doing.
I hadn't even had a chance to tell him about Peter. I declined all the calls
from my mom since I left, just needing time to myself. I knew she was
seeing him. I knew it in my gut. I couldn't work out how it made me feel,
though. I was angry and sad, but I had grown up training myself to not care
about him. He didn't want us, and that was made very clear to me at the
grocery market.
I stayed in bed for an hour, relishing the feel of his arm around me. He
was in a deep sleep, the memory of him mumbling about how he couldn't
sleep without me anymore before it overcame him, playing in my head. My
mind was working in overdrive as I laid in bed.
After a while I took my phone, unplugging it, and looking through my
notifications. My mom had sent me a happy New Year's text late last night
and asked me to call her when I woke up. It was seven in the morning, so I
would give her another hour to sleep. I knew I needed to bite the bullet and
just talk to her, but I was scared about what she had to say.
I check my e-mails last, not thinking that there was possibly anything
important in there. I usually just got spam and coupons from different
shoppes I had randomly signed up for. My heart dropped, though, when I
saw an email from my insurance company. Opening it quickly, eyes
scanning the contents I felt any bit of hope deflate.
Apparently, my home insurance had expired several months ago, so they
couldn't claim anything from the break-in. That would bankrupt my
savings. I had to replace my bed, TV, dresser, and couch. All my plates and
kitchenware, and most of my clothes were ruined. Every penny I saved for
my own house, money that I had put away for years to accrue interest was
going to be used to replace everything.
I would basically be starting from scratch and living like I used to. Now
there was no choice but to stay in my shitty apartment instead of moving to
a nicer one when my lease was up, because I didn't have the money. On top
of all this, I might even have to pay for a lawyer if anything with Jake goes
to court, so I will be poorer than I think I am.
Suddenly, I felt hot. I slinked out of bed, careful not to wake Harry, and
put on a pair of his sweats. I tiptoed down the stairs, staying as quiet as
possible. I needed a moment to myself. If Harry woke up then he would
immediately be trying to make me feel better. He was sweet like that, but
right now I wanted to wallow in my self pity.
Starting the coffee maker, I reread the email, clicking on the link to their
site to see if there was anything that could be done. I hadn't remembered
receiving an expiration or renewal for my insurance through the mail or my
email. I was in such a weird place, though, around that time. My mind was
everywhere, still completely hooked on Jake. This was well before Harry
and I had started to see each other.
I was so mad at myself. I should've taken this whole thing so much more
serious. I should've listened to Millie when she told me he was harassing
me. I should've been strong enough to see that on my own, but I was so
blind. Blind by old love and self hatred.
When my coffee was poured, I drank it in silence, leaning against the
counter, staring blankly at the wall wondering how the hell my life got so
complicated. My body had this weird feeling rolling through it. Like an
unpleasant buzzing. My chest felt weighted and my breathing was heavy.
I tried to shake it off, finishing off my coffee to keep me awake. I was
debating on whether or not to stay down here, or lay back down with Harry
when my phone buzzed on the granite countertop. I sighed, the word mom
flashing on my screen.
Reluctantly, I answered, "Hey, mom."
"Happy New Year, honey."
I smile weakly, "Thanks, happy New Year."
"Is everything okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there when you had to leave, and
you haven't been answering my calls." She says, and I can hear the slight
hurt in her voice.
"I'm sorry. Something happened, and I couldn't get ahold of you. I needed
to leave, and I've just been really busy since I got back." I didn't want to tell
her what had happened. This was probably the first time I had hid
something this big from her. We had always been honest with each other.
"Alright..." She says awkwardly. "Um, well, I wanted to talk to you about
something."
I close my eyes, and hold back a sigh, "Okay."
"Emma, your father got in touch with me a few days ago." She says
hesitantly.
I clenched my jaw, "He's not my father."
 There was a long pause before she says, "I know that he wasn't there for
you-"
"For us." I interrupt, "He wasn't there for us."
She sighs, "Emma, he's trying really hard to make up for the past."
"How?" I asked enraged, "It didn't seem like he gave a shit before he
randomly ran into us at the grocery store. Mom, he's got his own family that
he chose over us."
"You don't know what you're talking about." She says defiantly, "He lost
his wife a few years ago."
"Oh, did he open up to you on your little dates you've been having behind
my back?" I ask ruefully.
I know I was being cruel, but I couldn't help it. Everything was just too
much, and this was icing on top of the cake. Her so willing to accept him in
to our lives was pissing me off.
"Don't speak to me like that, Emma." She warns.
"Or what? Have you or have you not been seeing him since Christmas?
You've been going out a lot more. Wearing more makeup and doing your
hair. Just admit it."
Sighing exasperatedly, "Yes, I've been meeting with him. They're not
dates or anything. He somehow got my number, and begged for me to meet
with him."
"Seems like you forgave him rather easily." I said bitterly.
"Maybe if you gave hm a chance, you would too."
I was silent for a moment, taking in what she had just said. Of course, she
wanted me to meet with him, forgive him, and all of a sudden we would be
a big happy family.
"I'm not meeting him."
"Emma-"
"No." I stand my ground, "Why would I want to? That asshole left us."
My mom didn't say anything right away, her voice becoming softer when
she does talk, "Honey, I didn't think this hurt you this much."
I shake my head to myself, resting my head in the palm of my free hand,
elbow leaning on the counter. Closing my eyes, I say, "It doesn't. I don't
care about him."
"It sounds like the opposite to me." She calls me out.
I grit my teeth, and take a deep breath in, "So, what? Am I supposed to
be happy he's back? Mom, he doesn't give a shit about us. He felt guilty
running into us with his perfect daughter, and is trying to make himself feel
better. He'll leave us the first chance he gets."
"You don't know him."
"And you do?!" I yell, standing up straight. My eyes darting to the stairs,
hoping I hadn't woken Harry up.
There was silence between us, both trying to keep our calm. I was now
pacing the kitchen, feeling my heart rate pick back up, "Mom, this isn't fair
of you to ask me."
Another sigh leaves her mouth, "I just thought that it might help you."
I furrow my brows, "What do you mean?"
"Emma, honey, you've had it rough. Ever since you were born. You've
been happy with Harry, but the moment you ran into him on Christmas Eve,
you went back to that quiet, sad girl. I didn't think that him not being
around affected you that much, but I saw it so clearly that day. I think you
at least need to have a conversation with him. I know his daughter wants to
meet you."
"So he actually grew some balls and told her about us?" I say bitterly.
"Emma-"
"No." I say firmly, "I am not meeting with him, mom. I'm not letting him
feel better about himself, relieve his guilt, just to leave us again. I'm not
putting myself through that. I don't deserve that." My voice breaks at the
end of my sentence, stopping in my tracks, and closing my eyes once more.
I will not cry.
"You're right, you don't deserve that, but, if it counts for anything, I don't
think he will do that to you."
I'm about to respond, but feel my phone buzz against me. I look at it
quickly, seeing an unknown number trying to call me, "Mom, I've got
another call coming in. I have to go."
I knew that it was probably just a telemarketer, but it gave me an excuse
to end our conversation. I could hear the hesitation and hurt in my mom's
voice when she says goodbye, me hanging up before she could say anything
else. I knew I was being a bitch, taking out my anger on her, but I couldn't
hold it in. It had been threatening to come out since I first suspected her of
seeing him.
There was so much pent up anger in me. From my so-called dad to Jake
to my mom. I was also so mad at myself for letting me get in this situation
in the first place, for letting my Peter get to me after so many years. For
letting things get this bad with Jake.
It was all my fault.
"Hello?" I answer exhaustedly.
"Hello, Ms. Everly?" A male voice asked.
I furrow my brows, "Yeah, this is Emma. Who is this?"
"This is DI Spencer."
I straightened up quickly, "Yes?" DI Spencer was the lead on my case
against Jake. He was the one who interviewed me for hours yesterday,
eventually calling in Niall and Lauren.
"I wanted to let you know the status of your harassment claim and
restraining order as fast as possible, so you could prepare yourself for
what's to come."
I felt my stomach churn, dread filling me, "Okay."
He hesitates before saying, "The harassment claim will take some time
for us to investigate. Our tech guy is fairly confident he can get your texts
back, but it will take a few days. We need to do background checks on both
witnesses we spoke to, and I also stopped by your neighbors place earlier
today for a statement." He takes a deep breath before continuing, "However,
your restraining order was denied."
Ringing filled my ear, and I choked out, "What?"
"I'm sorry, Emma, but when we interviewed Jake today he gave us alibis,
and has four people swearing that he was with them all day the day your
place was broken into. Since there were no texts to show, the judge didn't
think there was sufficient enough evidence to put one in place."
"But-" I stuttered,"No, his friends are lying. It was him. I know it was-"
"Emma, I believe you, I promise, but legally there is nothing we can do
without physical evidence. I tried to present the note you gave to Lauren as
evidence, but the validity of it was called into question." He said steadily.
I shook my head, "Uh, you, uh, talked to Jake then? He knows I tried to
file against him?" I felt my heart nearly beating out of my chest, tears
building in my eyes.
For the first time, I was truly terrified.
"That's what I really wanted to talk to you about."
"But we work together. What happens there? School starts back up next
week-"
 "Emma, you need to breathe, okay? I'm doing what I can to keep you
safe."
"How?" I ask anxiously, "How can you? He can retaliate any time he
wants now."
"I've got people watching him, and I'm setting up a patrol around your
school during arrival and departure times, so someone can be close if need
be. You've got someone to stay with, right?" He asked, "I know you stayed
with your friend, Millie, but maybe that wouldn't be the best in her
condition, and also since you would be staying in the same building."
"Um," I tried to take a deep breath, but it stopped short, "yeah, yeah, I've
got someone."
"Good. If Jake is as violent as you and Lauren have told me-"
"We weren't lying-"
"I already told you I believe you, Emma." He said assuredly, "If Jake its
as bad as you say he is, then I want you to try and be around someone at all
times. This place you're staying at: would he know to look for you there?"
I shake my head, "No, no, he doesn't know where Harry lives."
"Harry? The guy you've been seeing, right? He knows about the
situation?"
I swallow down as much fear as I can, it dangerously close to overtaking
me, "Yeah, he does. He's met Jake once when he was drunk."
"He did? Could I speak with him? He could be another character witness
for you." DI Spencer asked me quickly, "What's his full name?"
"Harry Styles. I could, uh, give you his address." I suggest.
"That would be great. Text it to me at this number. Do you have any
questions for me, Emma?"
My brain is so raddled, filled with everything from Jake to my dad to my
fight with my mom, Millie's health scares with her baby. Everything was
another straw on my back, threatening to break it.
"I don't-" I shake my head, "I don't think so."
There was a pause before he said calmly, "Emma, I know this is scary,
but I will do my best to get this settled for you. I'm calling your friend,
Lauren, after this to make sure she's aware of what's going on, and to stay
with a friend, as well. She's not pressing charges, but she did give a
statement that will most likely mean a lot in the courtroom. We're gonna get
him, Emma."
I struggle to take a breath, and say shakily, "Okay."
 I'm sure he felt bad, this news potentially very harmful to me. I don't
blame him. I always knew this could happen. I knew it was the more likely
scenario. It was one of the reasons why I had put off doing this. Although
with those stupid fucking texts, it would've been much easier. The reason I
had deleted them was because I had genuinely convinced myself by that
time that I would never go to the police. I had persuaded myself that Jake
wasn't violent, just an asshole who would go away if I ignored him.
"Keep safe, Emma." He tells me, "And let me know if anything else
happens, or you remember something."
"Okay." I repeat weakly.
I hang up, not wanting to hear anymore. That pressure in my chest was
building exponentially, stomach churning, and hands shaking. My body was
reacting severely to the news, fear racing through me. I tried to steady my
breathing, but it wasn't working. They were becoming more ragged, more
uneven.
I was scared. Not only of Jake, but of everything. How much more could
go wrong?
"Emma?"
I turned around quickly, taking hold of my old coffee cup, and turning on
the faucet. I didn't want Harry to see me like this. He didn't need this shit.
He didn't need the extra worry I brought him when he should be focusing
on his own anxiety and bettering himself.
"In here." I call out as normally as I possibly can. My chest was hurting,
and my hands were now shaking violently as I tried to clean this damn cup.
I hear him enter the kitchen, the feel of his lips pressed to my hair,
"Morning."
A sense of warmth flowed through me, his groggy morning voice
reminding me of easier times.
"How long you been up? Oh, you've got the coffee made?" He asks.
There's something off with his voice, and I was desperate to turn around
and look at him, but I needed more control over myself first, "Uh, for just a
bit. Had to call my mom, and didn't want to wake you."
"Okay," he seems to say rather hastily, "can I talk to you about
something?"
I close my eyes, and steady my breathing as best as I can, finally turning
around, and saying, "Sure."
 I glance at, arms folded, backed up in the corner of his kitchen. He isn't
looking at me. Instead, he's staring at his coffee. I felt my heart palpitations
quicken, breathing faster to try and keep up.
Harry's mouth was moving but I couldn't hear anything. His eyes were
still downcast. He was fidgety and nervous, and I wanted so desperately to
hear his voice. My hand shoots up to my chest, fisting at his sweatshirt
above my heart. The pain grew and grew, the world around me becoming
slightly dizzy, and I felt as though I could throw up at any moment.
Harry's green eyes finally shoot up, ultimately feeling as if something
was wrong. His mouth abruptly stopped moving, eyes filling with worry as
he sees the panicked state I was in.
A loud, heart-wrenching gasp left me as I tried to suck in a despondent
breath. A tear spilled over as I gripped the counter with one hand, feeling as
though I might pass out at any second. I watched in fear as Harry stepped
forward, reaching out to me. Flinching away, my arm came up defensively.
My body was reacting to the fear. Not of Harry, but of Jake and my father
and the giant fear that I might be dying right now. I surely feel like I am.
Nothing was working. Not my heart. Not my lungs. Not my brain.
"Emma!"
My head whipped up at the sound of my name, urgent and frightened. A
tone I've never heard from Harry, not even when he was having a panic
attack.
He seemed hesitant to touch me now that I had made it clear I didn't want
to be touched, standing a foot away from me, eyes wide and filling with
tears. Guilt poured through me, adding to every bit of my pain.
I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop any of it.
I continued to struggle for air, sucking in sharp, pathetic breathes, nearly
expelling nothing in return. I felt pressure on my arm, tensing up, and
throwing myself back trying to get away.
"Don't touch me!"
It sounded as if a different person said it, screechy and frantic. I moved
around a shocked Harry, gripping the counters so I could get out of the
suffocating confines of the kitchen.
"Emma!" He called after me, this time keeping his distance. I turned and
walked backwards away from him, tears freely flowing from my eyes.
"Emma, you need to breathe. Focus on me, okay." My back hits a wall
roughly, and he comes as close as he can without fear of me screaming at
him. "It's me. It's Harry, Em. Let me help you."
He sounded as desperate as I was, clearly having no clue how to handle
me like this. I don't think there was a way to handle me like this. There was
no hope. Help was futile. This was it. It had to be. The only reason why I
could feel like I was dying, was because I was.
I shook my head at him, his face scrunching up in pain. "Air. I need air."
Somehow, with strength I didn't know I had, I quickly moved to his
foyer, grabbing my purse from his side table and flung the door open.
Freezing cold air hit my body, and instead of it making me feel better,
nothing happened. I was still gasping for air, letting out a violent sob when I
couldn't get a deep one in, lungs burning from lack of oxygen.
"Emma, stop!"
I was halfway down his driveway, when his arms wrapped around my
body. The overwhelming fear, flashes of Jake springing to my mind, caused
me to jerk out of his hold, push him away, and let out the word I never
thought I would actually use.
"Kiwi! Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi-" I choke out, eyes shut, hands fisting my hair, "I
can't do this!"
I practically run to my car, somehow able to find my keys, open it, and
start it, while continuing to fall apart. I didn't look at Harry's reaction, his
face so far deep in my mind that I couldn't focus on him. I couldn't focus on
the one thing that could possibly calm me.
Driving down his street, turning without stopping, I sobbed. A few streets
down, I pull over, not caring that I was parked crooked, and broke down.
Gripping the steering wheel, my forehead crashed to the top of it. I choked
out a frustrated scream, needing to get it out.
Death was more painful than I thought it would be. Every muscle in my
body was seizing up, an overwhelming warmth radiating out of me causing
drops of sweat to drip down the back of my neck. I felt dizzy and nauseous,
and my heart beat hard and banged against its restraints in my chest.
I didn't know when it would stop, when life would slip away, but it
dragged on. An eternity passed in pain, sobs and heaves of my chest the
only sounds I could hear.
The only thought that ran through my head was that I was going to die
alone.
Harry.
 I wanted Harry, as I cried, tears falling into my lap off of my eyelashes. I
wanted his warmth, the calm sound of his rasp in the morning. The way his
lips felt against mine, and how his eyes brightened considerably when he
laughed.
Relief spread through me when I was able to suck in a deep breath, lungs
filling up with fresh air. The exhale was shaky and stammered, but I got it
out eventually. I focused in on another breath. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.
Exhale. Every action painful, but relieving.
That's when I realized what was happening.
I was having a full on panic attack.
Everything had become too much, and my mind couldn't take it any
longer. As time passed, I was able to breathe more normal, heart still
beating faster than it should. I was lightheaded and exhausted, my whole
body drained. Moving my hands from the steering wheel, I wrapped them
around my body, and stretched my legs out so they weren't bunched up
underneath the wheel.
My body shook as I realized how Harry had lived through that many
times. He had survived attack after attack. I could barely handle one. I was
ready to give in. I was ready too die, desperate for it from the amount of
pain I had been in.
Yet Harry had learned to live with it. Control it in some ways, training
himself to ward them off or stop them. He got up every day feeling that
pressure of anxiety weighing him down, and went about his day as if he was
perfectly fine.
I fell more in love with him in that moment. The way he persevered, his
strength, and commitment.
Then reality hit me.
Everything that had just happened at Harry's. The immense pain in his
face when I screamed at him, and the fear in his voice as I raced outside to
escape everything.
I had even called Kiwi. I had called the one word that would end
everything.
Panic rose in me, turning the ignition on, noticing for the first time that
snow was falling, building on my windshield. I turned my wipers on, and
saw in astonishment that the ground was covered in snow. I hadn't even
realized what the weather had been like in my hysteria.
 My phone rang in the seat next to me, hand flying towards it, hoping and
praying it was Harry. I didn't even look before answering, vision a little
blurry from my tears.
"Harry?!" I asked frantically, the sleeves of his sweater bunched up as I
wiped my face.
"Um, ma'am?" An unfamiliar voice said. I could hear sirens in the
background and a pained scream.
I looked at my phone, face paling when I saw Millie's name.
"Ma'am?" She asked again.
"Yes, yes, I'm here." I answer, eyes wide, a streak of pain in my chest as I
heard another scream.
"This is Cassie, I'm a paramedic with Manchester City. I've got a Millie
Cooper we are transporting to Manchester Royal. She's having abdominal
pain, and asked us to call you. You're her next of kin?"
"Is she okay?"
"We're close to the hospital, and they'll be ready to get her into surgery
as soon as we transport her."
"Okay, I'll be there." I answer quickly, hanging up, throwing my phone
into the passenger's seat. My hand came down to hit the steering wheel over
and over, frustration and anger pent up. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
I take ten seconds to gather myself, silently apologizing to Harry, hoping
somehow through our deep connection that he can sense me, and drive off
to the hospital.
Chapter Forty-Six

HARRY
I don't know what just happened.
I was standing, barefoot in the snow, frozen at the desperation of our safe
word leaving her lips. Shock ran through me so powerfully that I didn't
even see her drive away. I had never expected to hear that word come out of
her mouth.
It meant she didn't feel safe.
I felt numb. Like nothing made sense. Everything had been different last
night. Yes, she was dealing with a lot. Some stuff I hadn't even been privy
enough to know yet, but she was handling herself. She had pushed her
stress and worry down, and managed to have a good time.
Last night was monumental for us, like the night I first asked her to come
home with me, that morning we came clean about our feelings, and our last
night in the cottage. This was the next step in our relationship.
Our friends knew. My family knew. I was certain Emma's mom knew
about us. There was no more reason to hide.
I was able to touch her last night. Kiss her in front of the whole world,
and not care that anyone was watching. In fact, I wanted everyone to see us.
Everyone needed to know that we belonged to one another. That she was
mine, and I was wholly hers. She owned me.
She had fallen asleep before me last night, her eyes closing nearly the
moment her head touched the pillow. I was desperate for sleep, too, but I
was even more desperate to just look at her. To study her face when it was
peaceful and serene. Like she had not a care in the world.
She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. Not a shred of
makeup covered her face, and yet she was perfection.
Eventually, I did fall asleep, hugging her to my body, legs intertwined
and my hand caressing her bare back. I knew when I woke up that
everything was going to change, but I had no clue it was going to be like
this.
I had thought I would wake up next to her, usually an earlier riser, and
kiss her awake. I thought the first words out of my mouth would be "I love
you". Then I would make love to her slowly and gently, making sure there
wasn't a shred of doubt in her mind that she was the one.
But I didn't get that. I got an empty bed when I reached out for her in my
sleep. It was still a little warm, so I knew she hadn't gotten up too early.
And when I went downstairs, after a pep talk and quick practice on how I
was going to tell her, the nerves started.
I wasn't necessarily nervous that she wasn't going to reciprocate. We both
knew we were in love. That wasn't a question. I guess I had never told
someone I loved them and knew it was going to be the last first time I said
it.
Admittedly, I have only told two other people: my sixth form boyfriend
and Carla. But neither of those two people had I meant it so deeply that I
wasn't sure I could live without their love. If they left me, or rejected my
love then it would've hurt, but wouldn't have crushed me.
If Emma didn't love me, then crushed would be an understatement.
I was so wrapped up in myself, my nerves and feelings, that I hadn't even
noticed Emma falling apart right in front of me. I had only been able to look
at her after I had heard the smallest whimper, and not the type that I begged
for in bed, but the type when you were in pain.
That first gasp for air that I heard her try to suck into her lungs had been
like a knife to my heart, slicing through me quicker than I ever expected it
to. My eyes had quickly taken in her posture, fist clenching at my shirt she
was wearing directly over her heart, tears falling down her cheeks, and eyes
wide with fear.
I knew immediately she was having a panic attack, but she wouldn't let
me touch he or help her. The sound of her scream when I had tried getting
close to her piercing through to my soul. I don't think I had ever seen
someone in so much pain.
And I had known exactly how she was feeling, especially if this was her
first one. The shakes and sweating, the tight pressure of your chest feeling
as though your heart is in a vice grip. The overwhelming sense that you are
going to die.
 There was so much fear in her eyes that it brought tears to my own,
desperate to help her in some way. That fear overcame me when she ran
outside, keys in her bag, trying to get away. I tried to stop her, the snow
falling and sure ice underneath it. She couldn't drive in this weather in the
middle of a panic attack. It was too dangerous and I couldn't lose her like
that.
But then she said that word.
And I knew it was because of the attack, and feeling overwhelmed.
Yesterday's admittance running through my head:
I feel like everything's crashing down on me. Like I'm suffocating.
It seemed like the water had risen too high.
It took me too long to come back to reality, her words sending me into
my own state of unawareness. Although I knew she didn't mean it in the
way we had originally set it up as, it still struck overwhelming panic
through.
I kept my anxiety in check, though. My angel needed me. I shook my
head, taking in a deep breath, finally realizing that I was standing in my
driveway in just a t-shirt and boxers, feet starting to hurt in the snow now.
I raced inside, bounding up my stairs, and put a pair of sweats on,
followed by a heavy jumper. The one Emma had given me for Christmas. I
dried my feet off, and wiped them down with luke-warm water so I could
get feeling in my toes. Pulling on a pair of wool socks and my Chelsea
boots, I grabbed my keys, locked up the house, and started my car.
I needed to find her, driving around my neighborhood first, hoping and
praying I didn't see any crashed cars or accidents. Not many people were
out and about, most probably still sleeping in from the late night. The snow
was coming down hard now, and I swerved a few times due to ice. Dread
filled my senses, more tears starting to build in my eyes.
I went to her apartment first, running upstairs to see a handyman putting
her new door in. She wasn't inside, so I stalked down the hall to Millie's
apartment, knocking for a solid five minutes in case she was sleeping. No
one answered, though, so I determined she wasn't there.
I checked the gym next, but no one had seen her. Her school. The coffee
shop. Any place we had ever been together, I checked. I was becoming
frantic, her phone ringing over and over. She wasn't declining my calls, and
she hadn't turned it off, but she wasn't answering. I left a few voicemails,
hoping to convince her to call me back, my voice coming out shaky and
weak.
I felt my own anxiety rising, but focused on my breathing. I couldn't do
this right now. I couldn't have my own attack, not when I had no clue where
Emma was and if she was even safe.
After over an hour of driving around, I returned home. As I parked, a
man in a snow jacket was leaving my front step.
"Can I help you?" I asked him, when I stepped out of my car.
"Mr. Harry Styles?" The older man inquires.
I furrow my brows, "Yeah..."
His hand comes out to shake mine, his other flashing me his credentials,
"DI Spencer. I'm working Emma Everly's case."
I straightened uppitiest immediately, "Yeah, what's going on?"
"Well, I have a few questions for you, if you don't mind giving me a
statement. Can we step inside?"
"Of course," I say quickly, rushing to unlock my front door and leading
him inside, "Do you want some tea or anything?"
Shaking his head, he says while looking around, "No, that's okay. You're
obviously aware of what's happening. Emma mentioned she was staying
with you for the time being?"
My heart clenched, hoping she would come home to me, "Uh, yeah, I'm
aware of it all."
"Good, she gave me your address this morning after our call-"
"Call? What call?" I ask quickly.
Spencer seemed much more reluctant to share information now, "I'm
sorry, Mr. Styles-"
"Harry."
"Harry..." He nods his head, "I can't share information on an open case.
That's up to Emma to tell you."
I purse my lips, exhaling a puff of air through my nose, "Okay, well what
do you have to ask me then?" I ask agitated at the situation. I was so in the
dark. I felt like I knew nothing.
"Emma mentioned you had met Jake before?" I nodded, sitting down on
my couch. "Okay, can you explain the interaction?"
The memory flooded through my brain, anger rising, "Emma and I went
to the holiday market sometime early December, ran into Jake and his then
girlfriend, Lauren."
 "We've spoken to Lauren." Spencer says, writing this down.
"Yeah, well, Lauren didn't know at the time that Emma and Jake had
dated, and invited us to eat with them. The girls went off to get our food,
and Jake and I were talking. He said some pretty nasty things about her."
"Like what?" He asks.
I tell him everything, from that awkward dinner to me learning about the
texts. I was getting more anxious as the time went by, my eyes constantly
checking the clock and my phone to see if she had called or text me back. I
didn't know what to do at this point. I had no clue how to reach her, and I
didn't even know if she wanted me to. It had been hours since I had seen
her, and I was starting to think that I had it wrong. Maybe it was me she
was running from.
I was so confused, the more time I was away from her the more
disorganized my own thoughts became. One second, I'm sure that she
wasn't running from me. That she did love me, but her panic attack had
clouded her mind, and caused her to react so harshly. But another second
passes, and I'm going through every interaction we've ever had, wondering
if I misread all the signs.
When Spencer left, I collapsed back on the couch, head in my hands,
elbows on my knees. Rubbing hard at my eyes, I did my breathing drills,
focusing in on my anchor.
It was a real mind-fuck right now that Emma was both the cause of my
anxiety and the only thing that could calm me down. I concentrated much
harder to control my mind, spending probably a good thirty minutes before
I calmed my heart down again.
Picking up my phone, I dialed her number, going to voicemail after I
counted eleven rings, "Angel... Emma, I need you to call me back. I- I, uh,
don't really know what happened this morning, but I need you to come
home to me. Fuck, I need it so bad. If I did something wrong then please
just talk to me, but if it's something else - all this shit that keeps piling on to
you... Let me in, Emma. Let me help you like you do for me. I know you're
scared. I know, baby, I know, just... please don't leave me." I choke out,
finally succumbing to my tears, "Don't leave me."
I hung up the phone before I let out a sob. I had my anxiety under
control, but I couldn't stop the tears. I felt like I had lost her, whether that
was true or not. My heart was cracking painfully, chips falling off into the
abyss of my chest. Thinking more and more of how my life would be
without her, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't live every day waking up to an
empty bed, a half full closet, and cold house. I couldn't keep having
meaningless sex with people at the gym or bars. Fuck, I wouldn't be able to
step foot in that gym ever again.
In the short months that Emma and I had been together, she had become
my life. She was the air in my lungs. There was no me without her. In fact, I
don't think I ever truly knew who I was before her.
I had lived life going through the motions, never connecting with people
I was sleeping with, working a job I hated because that's what I thought you
were supposed to do.
But Emma... She had opened me up to a world of possibilities. A world
where I could at least like what I do. And she made me feel. She had
brought color to my black and white life.
I missed her. Fuck, I missed her so much, and she wasn't even truly gone.
The truth was that I had no inkling of an idea why she had said kiwi. I
don't know what had brought on her panic attack. I knew it had to have
been bad, the stuff that had happened over the past few days the base layer
of her pain. There had to be more. Emma was so strong, and for her to react
in this way then she would've been hit with some devastating news.
I wish I had pressed the detective more on what was going on in the case.
I'm sure that was part of it, not just the break in. Maybe they had talked to
Jake. That would mean he would know about her turning him in.
She was probably terrified of that. I know I am. Jake's completely
unstable, what he could do to her...
The thought struck me that maybe he had gotten in contact with her.
What if he threatened her? She blocked him, but did she block all his
friends. They were all as rotten as he was, as far as I'm concerned.
Rage boiled through me, even the idea of him speaking to her making me
so angry. How was she supposed to work with him? If she got her
restraining order then would he be able to work? Would he get suspended?
There were so many questions and I had no way to get answers.
I heard my front door open and shot up, racing to the front hallway.
"Emma?!" I ask as I turn the corner.
Luanne looked back at me, blinking in surprise at my fervor, "Uh, no..."
I close my eyes and let out a long breath, "Lulu, what are you doing
here?"
 "Are you okay, Harry?" She asked, walking up to me, "You don't look
very good."
I give her a look, turning and walking back to my living room, "I'm fine.
Is there a reason you're here?"
I didn't care that I was being rude. Not a single part of me wanted to
entertain anyone. I just wanted to sit and wait in misery until I heard from
Emma.
"Well, you weren't answering my texts, and I wanted to see if you and
Emma wanted to join Oli and I for dinner. He gets off work around seven."
She asks, following closely behind me.
"No, not tonight."
She looks at me carefully, "Where's Emma? Why did you think I was
her?"
Sitting down, I resume my old position, face in the palm of my hands,
and sigh frustratingly, "Seriously, Lu, I can't do this right now."
"Harry, talk to me. What's wrong?" She pressed, sitting down next to me,
hand on my shoulder.
It should comfort me, but instead I felt more distressed. I didn't want to
talk to anyone about what was going on. I never did. The only person I ever
truly opened up to was the one person I couldn't find right now.
"Stop."
She sighs, "You can't keep pushing people away, Harry. You always do
this. Why can't you just talk to me?"
There was clear hurt in her voice, more affected by my habit of keeping
to myself than I ever realized. I looked up and met her eyes, "I'm not trying
to, I promise. It's just-" I struggle to find the right words, "This isn't really
my thing to tell."
"So something's wrong with Emma? She seemed a little off last night."
I clenched my jaw. My sister was one of the most caring people in the
world. She had such a big heart, but she was also so nosy. She never let
anything go. Case in point: my old sex habits. She was constantly badgering
me about it, never letting me breathe without questioning whether or not it
was healthy for me.
Turns out she was right. It wasn't healthy for me, actually quite harmful
to my mental health, but that wasn't the point.
"Can you just not be you tonight?" I ask bitterly.
She flinched at my tone, "What?"
 "You're always up in my business, Lu. You don't let me breathe, for christ
sake! Have you ever thought that this is none of your business? You don't
have a right to know everything going on in my life or Emma's!" I stood up,
putting some distance in-between us.
"Oh..." She said meekly, standing up and crossing her arms to protect
herself.
"You just pry and pry, and it's so fucking annoying. You think you know
what's best for me, and the truth is you don't know shit!" I'm taking out my
anger on her, I know this. I know she didn't come here to tell me what to do,
but I couldn't stop myself now. "You think you have everything figured out,
but it took you years to be an adult and talk to Oliver about how you feel.
So don't come to me, and try and give me advice on my life when you've
been a coward for most of yours."
She bit the inside of her mouth and looked away, "Alright-"
"Just get out of my house! Leave me the fuck alone for a while!" I yell at
her, pointing back towards the front hallway.
"Harry, stop talking to me like that!" She bit back suddenly, "Just cause
you fucked something up with Emma doesn't mean you get to treat me like
shit."
I don't know what came over me, everything suddenly a little hazy. I
know I stalked over to her, and I know I heard a crash of glass breaking
somewhere behind me, but I don't remember anything clearly except what I
said.
"Don't you dare fucking say that to me again." I wasn't yelling any
longer, instead my voice low and deadly. Lu stared up at me, tears in her
green eyes. "You have no right. Now get the fuck out of my house before I
throw you out."
She stepped back, shocked by the utter vitriol in my voice. Luanne and I
had never fought before. Growing up we were the closest you could be as
siblings, and that hadn't changed in adulthood. Sure, she was annoying as
hell sometimes, but I was also not always the easiest to get along with. We
both had faults, but it had never affected or relationship.
Without another word, she turned around, grabbing her purse, and
stormed out into the snow. I had the vague image of Emma doing the same
thing hours ago, making my heart clench painfully. I didn't bother seeing
her out, instead grabbing my phone on the coffee table and checking for any
messages.
 I nearly threw my phone at the wall, frustration boiling inside me. That's
when I noticed the shattered glass vase near my wall. My brows furrowed,
looking at the end-table next to my couch, the flowers and vase gone.
Did I throw that against the wall? I don't remember doing that. I
remember the sound of it, but I was so consumed with everything that the
memory felt blurry.
Guilt started to spread through me, realizing just how awful I treated my
sister. The sister that had done nothing her whole life but be my best friend.
I rushed outside, but her car was already gone, fresh tracks imprinted in the
snow down my street.
Dialing her number, I sigh when she declines my call after one ring. I
don't blame her. I just yelled at her out of nowhere, said nasty things to her,
and got so angry I threw a vase against my own wall.
I groaned out in frustration, feeling utterly lost. There was nothing left
for me to do. I had nowhere to look for Emma. No way of talking to her. Lu
was pissed at me and for good reason. The only thing I could do was wait.
All of Emma's stuff was here, so she had to come back at some point.
An idea popped into my head, and I sent off three individual texts asking
the same question. One by one they all came back, Naomi, Maura, and Niall
not having seen or talked to her. I ignored the suggestive or teasing texts,
one hundred percent not able to take the reminder that I might've lost the
most important thing in my life today.
I sat for hours.
Hunched over, elbows propped on my knees, hands holding up my head.
Whether I was fisting my hair or leaning my chin on my closed fist, I stared
at my phone. Waiting. Hoping. Urging someone somewhere in the universe
to give me even just the smallest nugget of information.
It was dark outside now, the entire first day of the new year marred by
pain. Finally, I heard my phone ring right when I had laid back and started
staring at the ceiling. Frantically, I sat up and grabbed my phone. My heart
sunk when I didn't recognize the number, but answered anyways.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this a Mr. Harry Styles?" A professional female voice inquired.
I sighed, answering the question for the second time today, "Yes, it is."
"I'm calling in regards to your sister, Luanne Styles-"
I stand up quickly, heart racing, "Why? What's happened? Who is this?"
 "Mr. Styles, your sister has been in an accident. She's at Manchester
Royal in the ER unit right now. We have you listed as her emergency
contact-"
"What?" I choked out.
"Sir, does this sound right, or do we need to contact someone else?"
"No! No, I'll be there. What hospital?" I asked, cursing as I trip over a
blanket that had fallen off my couch.
"Manchester Royal. Come in through the main entrance, and they'll be
able to tell you where to go from there." The lady tells me.
"Is my sister okay?" I ask desperately, walking outside and running to my
car.
There was hesitation, "I'm sorry, sir. I really don't know anything else. I'll
let someone know you're on your way."
With that she hung up. Throwing my phone to the passenger's side, I race
to the hospital. It's not too far from my place, maybe a fifteen minute drive,
but it feels like forever. This whole day has felt like a string of awful days
mushed together for the sake of breaking me.
I was led to a waiting room in the general surgery unit, panicking at the
poor lady who showed me there. No one seemed to have any answers for
me. All of them telling me they're sorry like it meant something to me.
I couldn't sit, instead pacing around the waiting area, probably annoying
the other disgruntled people waiting to hear from a doctor about their loved
ones.
About ten minutes of waiting, I hear a familiar voice, "Harry!"
I turn around seeing Carla walking up to me briskly. I rush to her, hands
finding her arms, "What's going on?"
"I was working the ER when I saw Luanne come in-"
"Please, Carla, just tell me what happened!" I beg desperately, tears
filling my eyes for the millionth time today.
She put her nurses face on, and said, "She was in a car accident. She hit a
patch of black ice and rammed into a light pole." The breath was stolen to
from under me. "She came in with a punctured and collapsed lung. One of
her ribs broke and hit the organ during the crash. She's currently being
operated on by Dr. Mansfield. She's one of the leading general surgeons in
the country, Harry. Lu's in really good hands."
"Um," I swallow back the bile threatening to escape, "how bad?"
 She purses her lips, "I only saw her for a second, H. I really don't know."
She studied my shaky figure, her hand squeezing my shoulder, "Why don't
you sit down for a moment. Let me get you some water."
I nod mindlessly. I'm too wrapped up in pain to notice. The only reason
Lu was out in the first place was because I had ignored her texts in the first
place. And if I wouldn't have yelled and freaked out on her then she
wouldn't have left. This was my fault.
My fault. My fault. My fault.
Overwhelming guilt filled me as the water spilled out of my eyes, fat
tears falling to the ground. I'm startled when I feel a hand on my shoulder,
looking up to see Carla, a bottle of water in her hand, looking down at me
worried.
"Harry, do you need me to call someone?" She asks carefully.
I can barely think, but find myself nodding and answering, "Yeah,
Rebecca. Call Rebecca."
I give Carla my phone and watch her talk to my sister, explaining the
situation. I then ask her to call Oliver, giving him the same talk as Rebecca.
I hear him much more frantic on the phone, asking more questions as
opposed to Rebecca asking the basics, and telling her she'll be there as fast
as possible.
I didn't envy my sister. She had the responsibility of telling my parents
and Jason. The reason I had asked Carla to call Rebecca instead of my mom
was because I knew my mom would be in hysterics right away. Rebecca
was great in a crisis, level-headed and calm in a way I could only dream of.
Carla left to go back to work, promising to keep me updated on Luanne's
surgery. While waiting for everyone to arrive, I did my own research. I read
article after article, pages of wiki on a pneumothorax. I felt worse and
worse the more I read, especially since Carla couldn't give me an answer on
how bad it looked when she came in.
It wasn't until Oliver rushed in, briskly walking towards me, fear in his
eyes that it truly hit me.
That if Luanne died tonight the last things I said to her were in fits of
rage, and it would be one hundred percent, truly my fault.
Chapter Forty-Seven

EMMA
I had been sitting in this damn waiting room for hours. The effects of my
panic attack were still rolling through me, my body utterly and completely
exhausted, mind begging for sleep. But I stayed right where I was, knees
held to my chest, chin resting on them as I stared blankly at the chair
opposite me.
Millie's OBGYN had told me they were running some tests to see if
Millie had gone into false labor or there was something else going on.
Finally, she came and explained to me that Millie had a UTI that had caused
a placenta abruption.
"I don't know what that is." I tell her, rubbing at my eyes to keep me
awake.
"Well, in a pregnancy a urinary track infection can be much more painful,
and, in this case, caused her placenta to detach prematurely." She says.
"So what does this mean for Millie and the baby?" I ask nervously.
"Right now we're unsure. We need to figure to if this is mild or severe-"
"What if it is severe?"
"Then we induce labor. We might have to perform an emergency c-
section."
"But she's only thirty-seven weeks pregnant. She still has a almost a
whole month-"
"Ma'am," she says calmly, shutting me up immediately, "that's just the
worst case scenario. Most likely it's mild and I can supply her with
medication so the baby can strengthen its lungs quicker than normal. Even
if we have to induce labor, then there's a great chance that the baby will be
born perfectly healthy, a little small maybe, but I've seen a lot worse."
I bite my lip, "So she'll be okay?"
 The doctor gives me a kind smile, "Let's wait to get those results back,
and then we'll talk about our plan of attack, okay?" I nod, not liking her
refusal to answer my question, but not pressing any more. "Would you like
to see her?"
My eyes widen, "I can go in?"
"Oh, yes, she needs her support system. You can stay as long as you
want."
I follow her down the hall, turning a few times before we enter a small
room. Millie was sleeping on the bed, looking completely exhausted. Her
face was pale and bags were forming under her eyes. She looked like a kid,
so young and scared, and my heart broke for her.
"I'll be back as soon as I've got answers for you both." The doctor says to
me, "Why don't you try and get some sleep? You look just as exhausted as
our future momma, here."
I send her a tight-lipped smile, sitting in a chair by the wall. It wasn't
particularly comfortable, but it would do. I stared at Millie, thinking of the
tough road she had in front of her. She would have to sacrifice all of her
twenties for her kid - a sacrifice I knew she was happy to make - but she
would miss out on so much. It would be hard for her to date. She would
spend almost all her time working to save money and provide for the kid.
She had been lucky I was able to find her some daycare options that were
either free or in her price range, but they would struggle.
Now that I was basically broke, I knew I wouldn't be able to help them as
much as I had wanted. I wouldn't even be close to them if I was staying at
Harry's for the foreseeable future.
I needed to call Harry. When I had gotten the call I was so focused on
Millie and my godchild that Harry had moved to the back of my mind. I had
been almost numb the last few hours, head nearly empty, broken from what
had happened today. And I was so tired. I needed to sleep. Maybe I should
take a nap and then call him, so I could be all there when I explain to him
what had happened.
I hoped he knew I wasn't calling kiwi on us. He had to have known I was
having a panic attack. He probably knew the moment I gasped for air.
While I had thought I was dying, he was trying to help me, and I had
pushed him away.
That overwhelming feeling of pain and despair that had been so present
in my body and mind was one that I hoped never to experience again, and
as I fell asleep in the world's most uncomfortable chair thoughts of Harry
constantly having to deal with this hurt my heart.
Unpleasant dreams swirled around, not quite nightmares, but
nevertheless undesirable. When I woke up, it felt like only ten minutes had
passed, but when I saw the darkness of the night's sky through the window I
realized I must've been passed out for most of the day.
"Finally, it's getting boring in this place."
My eyes shot to Millie, sitting up in bed eating a pudding cup. She
looked a hell of a lot better than she did when I first came in. Her face was
full of color, eyes brighter. She looked healthy.
I stood up, making my way to the hospital bed, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm good." She answers, rolling her eyes at the look I am giving her,
"Seriously, Em, I'm feeling a lot better. They gave me some medication, a
little bit of pain reliever, and I feel like a new person."
"So everything's fine with your... placenta?" I ask.
Millie bursts out laughing, "I think so? I don't quite understand
everything the doctor said. The only thing I know about doctors and
hospitals is what I learned from Grey's Anatomy."
I smile softly, opening my mouth to say something, but her doctor steps
in, "Oh, good you're awake."
I turn to face her, "So it was mild, then? Not severe?"
"Exactly." She smiles at me, placing the clipboard at the end of Millie's
bed. "She was in a lot of pain at the moment, due to her placenta detaching
from her uterus lining as well as the UTI she has. Everything has subsided,
though, we have her on some meds to help the baby. I am going to keep her
overnight, and most of the day tomorrow just to have her on watch."
"We don't have to induce? The baby's staying in her?" I ask, filling with
hope.
Her doctor chuckles, "If she has no problems throughout the night, then
there's no reason to. We'll keep a closer eye on Millie, more regular
checkups and all that, but hopefully we can get the kiddo to full term."
I exhale a breath of relief, looking at Millie, "You scared the shit out of
me."
She laughs, "I'm sorry, Em. I really thought I was having the baby or
something. Demanded that the paramedics called you. Needed my big sis."
My heart swells, hearing the door of the room close shut as the doctor
leaves us, "I always be there for you, Mil."
 She blinks away the quick tears forming in her eyes, shaking her head,
"Go home. Get some rest. Make Harry's day by giving him a BJ."
I roll my eyes, ignoring the nerves and anxiety rolling through me at just
the mention of him. I hoped Harry would understand why I left, and why I
had been gone for so long. He had to know it wasn't about him. Although,
we hadn't said it, I thought we made it quite clear last night how in love we
were. He had to know I loved him, and I vowed to make sure he knew the
moment I saw him.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay the night?" I ask, just in case.
Shaking her head, she answers, "No, I'll be fine. I'll call you when they
discharge me, okay?"
"Okay..." I say, leaning down to kiss her head and place my hand on her
belly, getting close to it, "Alright, kid. You've got to promise me to stay in
there for just a little bit longer. Do it for your momma."
Millie smiles at me, now looking sleepy. I gather my stuff as she gets
more comfortable in her bed, saying a tired, "Night... See you tomorrow,
Em."
"Goodnight, Millie." I whisper, turning the light off as I leave her room.
I look around, a little lost at where I was. I barely paid any attention
when they had showed me up here, and it was the largest hospital in
Manchester so there were separate wings for everything. I just started
walking, hoping I stumbled across helpful signs.
It gave me some time to think of what I was going to say to Harry. Guilt
spread through me as I replayed what had happened this morning over and
over. It got worse and worse, his pained face and teary eyes scorched into
my mind.
He had to understand. He had to know I loved him, and that I would
come back. I was just so paralyzed with fear that the only thing I could
think of in that moment was to run.
I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something was
wrong. I had never felt something quite like it, a dull ache that seemed to
affect both my heart and soul. My mind drifted to Harry, wondering if her
was feeling this too. If this was some kind of reaction to our souls in
distress.
I walked through the halls, finally finding an elevator, and rode it down
to the cafeteria near the main lobby. It was when I was walking towards the
main doors that I saw Oliver speaking to someone on the phone. I stopped
at the sight, his eyes rimmed red, hair fussed up, and his agitated body
language.
When his eyes met mine, he froze. Hanging up the phone quickly, he
came over to me, arms wrapping around me in a tight hug. I hugged back
awkwardly, never having really showed any type of affection towards
Oliver. If this was Mike or one of the girls then I definitely would've
expected it, but coming from him it felt... off.
"I'm guessing someone called you? Was it Naomi?" He asked into my
ear, and finally pulled away.
I got a clearer look now that we were much closer, and I saw how scared
he looked. I furrowed my brows, "What are you talking about, Oliver?"
He looked at me just as confused, "I'm assuming you're here for Lu?"
I felt my face go pale, confused expression dropping into one of dread,
"What? What happened to Lu?"
Pain washed over his face, struggling to tell me, "A couple hours ago Lu
was in a car accident. Hit a patch of black ice, and crashed into a pole."
My eyes widened, "Is she okay?"
"She's, uh," he closes his eyes, swallowing down his feelings, "she's in
surgery right now. Has a collapsed lung is what the doctors said."
Before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around his neck,
and brought him in for another hug. This time I controlled it, wanting to
make sure he felt safe. I could only imagine the pain he was in, someone he
loved for so long now fighting for their life. I was terrified myself, hoping
that things would finally go my way, and she would be okay.
"Where's Harry?" I asked, separating from him, "Is he here?"
He nods, "Emma, he's..." he struggles once again for his words, and I
immediately panic, that dull ache now becoming more prominent, like my
body was trying to tell me I was right to think something was wrong.
"Was he with her? Is he hurt too?!"
"No!" He says quickly, realizing his mistake. Grasping my arms, and
squeezing them in comfort, he reassures me, "Harry's fine, he's safe, Em."
I shook my head, knowing he wasn't fine or safe. "Something's wrong-"
"He's completely shut down. He won't speak to anyone." Oliver tells me,
"The last thing he said to me was that it was all his fault. His families here,
and he's ignored all of them, pushed his dad away, and yelled at him to get
away."
My heart clenches, "Where is he?"
 "I don't know if you should-"
"Where the hell is he, Oliver?" I ask again, this time, slower and more
forcefully, so he knows not to mess with me.
I needed to be there for him. If he was blaming himself for Lu's accident,
then it was only a matter of time before he succumbed to his anxiety or did
something stupid.
"Follow me." Oliver says, sighing and leading me back to the elevator.
We rode up in silence, both of us having our minds focused on the people
we love. I was impressed with how Oliver was handling this. If it were
Harry in Lu's position, I would be on the floor bawling my eyes out. I think
my whole body would shut down.
The lift seemed to take forever, stopping at almost every floor, letting
people in and out. Finally, we got to the eighth floor, Oli leading the way
through the lobby and into the waiting room. It was larger than the one in
the maternity ward, and I found myself searching for the love of my life. I
didn't see him anywhere, spotting Mike and Naomi first, along with a few
people I vaguely recognized.
While walking up to them I realized that this was Harry's family. I had
seen pictures of them from my time with Harry. I shake off the nervous
feeling of meeting them for the first time. This wasn't about that.
"Emma!" Naomi came rushing up to me, hugging me tightly. Mike came
behind her, pulling me in to a half-hug when we were done. "I've been
calling you for the last hour."
I furrow my brows, "What? My phone hasn't gone off..." I dig around in
my purse, but can't seem to find my phone anywhere. I say frustratingly, "I
don't know where it... Might be in my car. It's been a long day, and-"
"How did you know we were here?" Naomi asks.
Sighing, I tell them, "My friend Millie - the pregnant one that you met -
she had some problems, so I've been here since this morning. Ran into Oli
downstairs. Where's Harry?"
They both got a look on their face, but Mike answered, "He's down the
hall over there." He motions towards the opening of a hallway where his
parents, brother, and sister stand.
Without another word, I rush over, bypassing his family, and spot him all
the way towards the end of the corridor. He's sitting on the floor, elbows on
his knees, and hands in his hair. Even from a distance I can see how tight
he's fisting his wild curls. His entire body is tense, but his breathing is under
control. His back moves up and down slowly, and I can tell he's trying to
manage his anxiety.
When I finally get to him, I kneel down, and say softly, "Harry?"
He doesn't look up, his eyes shut tightly from what I can see, but he does
shake his head. My heart aches, but I press forward, "Baby, it's me." My
fingers comb back his hair. "I need you to look at me."
His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows down whatever pain he's in and
looks up. His normally striking green eyes look dead, none of their regular
passion and livelihood in them. I feel my eyes gloss over, blinking back my
tears. His face screws up like he can't believe it's me, breathing in a shaky
breath, he whispers, "Angel?"
A tear escapes me at his broken tone, "Yeah, baby, it's me. I'm sorry. I'm
so sorry."
"Emma-" His voice cracks and his hand leaves his hair to grip the back of
my neck. The feeling of his touch on my skin, no matter the context, leaves
me with chills. I can feel his desperation, and see his pain so clearly, eyes
succumbing to his own tears. I watch heartbroken as drops fall down his
face, my hand cupping his cheek. "Emma, please-"
I don't know what he was going to say, because he let out a sob that tore
my soul in half. I shuffle closer, him opening his body up to me, so I can
firmly plant myself in-between his legs. My hand moves to the back of his
head, pulling him into the crook of my neck. I shut my eyes, trying not to
cry for the broken man before me.
In my presence, he completely let himself go. Every bit of vulnerability
he was hiding from his own family, had risen to the surface. He didn't hold
back his cries and sobs, fisting at my shirt - his shirt - when he wrapped his
arms around me.
As I held his shaking body in my arms, I played with his hair, muttering
things into his ear to try and make him call down. I was sure he had been
holding this back for a while. Hours probably, and now that he was
allowing himself to feel I knew I needed to just let him get it out of his
system. These tears, the heart wrenching sobs, were toxic when locked up
inside him, and I knew he was used to keeping these feelings hidden under
lock and key, but I was here now. I was here to share his pain.
It didn't matter that my knees were aching, and my back was sore in the
position we were in. If I needed to hold this position all night, I would. For
him I would do anything.
 I focused in on him, anticipating a panic attack to come on sooner or
later, but this was all just tears. This was just the emotion of heartbreak,
worry, and sadness flowing through him.
After a good twenty more minutes, I felt him start to slow down. No
longer was he sobbing into my shirt, but sniffling near my ear. His
breathing was still heavy, but was slowing down at a considerable rate.
"Harry?" I ask quietly.
He squeezes me once in his arms, and I start to feel him lift his head out
of my neck. I feel the cold air hit, his tears coating my neck and clothed
shoulder, and open my eyes to see him. His. eyes are bloodshot, cheeks red
and raw looking. He looks utterly exhausted, the days events weighing
heavily on him.
My hands cup his face, wiping the moisture off of his cheeks gently. He's
looking at me with pleading eyes, asking me to save him, to wake him up
from this nightmare he found himself in.
"My baby..." I whisper, blinking back my own tears.
His brows scrunch up in the middle, head falling back to rest against the
wall. His voice comes out croaky and full of emotion, "It's all my fault,
angel."
"What?" I ask confusedly, "What's your fault?"
"This." He clears his throat, "All of this. Lu came over. She wanted us to
go out to dinner, but you- you were gone." His voice cracks, but he
continues, "I was so angry and confused. I - fuck!" He closes his eyes, "I
fucking yelled at her, and threw her out of my house."
"Harry, that doesn't make this your fault-"
"If she just would've stayed-" His hand leaves my body, coming back to
hit the wall with the side of his fist.
I jump a little, startled at his aggression, but grip his chin, and force him
to look at me. With furrowed brows, and a stern voice, I say, "Harry, stop.
This is not your fault, do you hear me?" He shook his head, tears spilling
over, refusing to believe my words, so I push on, "She had an accident.
Even if she hadn't left right at that moment, she very easily could've done
the same thing at any time while driving. Baby, we all drove today. It
could've happened to me, you, your family, Oliver. Every single one of us
took that risk in driving here today, and it wouldn't be anyone's fault."
"My fault..." He says weakly, sniffling loudly.
I set my jaw, pausing before saying, "Then it's my fault too."
 "What?" He asks bewildered.
"I'm the reason why you did what you did. Why you are angry and
confused and hurt. Without me doing that to you, you wouldn't have done
that to Luanne, and she never would've drove off and gotten into an
accident-"
"No, it's not your fault." Harry says, sitting up straighter, a stern
expression on his own face.
"Why not? It's the same logic that you're using. It's my guilt to share,
Harry." I press.
He's shaking his head, looking at me in a way that was like he couldn't
figure me out. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I give
him a moment to collect his thoughts, my hands cupping his face again,
tenderly caressing his red cheeks.
"I, uh, I-" He grimaces, "But it has to be someone's fault. This can't have
happened to her for no reason. I can't lose her, Em. I can't."
"Oh, Harry, you haven't." I say softly, "You haven't lost her. We have no
clue how bad this is."
"She's got a punctured - collapsed lung, fuck, I don't know!"
"I know it sounds bad, but we don't have any clue what that really means.
We don't know if that's an easy fix, or if that's the only thing wrong. We
have no idea, so we can't sit here and convince ourselves that she's gone. It
isn't healthy, and you and I both know Lu would kick your ass into the next
century if she saw you acting this way."
He exhales a long breath, shoulders dropping, "I know." He croaks out.
"Baby, you have to believe things will turn out okay, or else we'll all go
mad."
He looks at me long and hard, "But what if it doesn't turn out okay?"
I purse my lips, leaning in a little closer to him, and say, "Then we'll deal
with it together."
"Together?" He repeats cautiously.
I tilt my head, and smile softly, "Together."
His hand finds the back of my neck, and pulls me down, resting my
forehead against his. He sighs, expelling the guilty and unhealthy thoughts
he had. I see him visibly relax, and I knew I had gotten through to him. I let
us stay like this for a while, just enjoying being near him again.
We still had a ton of stuff to talk about, but that could wait. Right now,
Harry needed to be with his family.
 "Harry..." I say quietly.
"Mhm?"
I pull away slowly and look at him, "Your families here. I think they need
you right now."
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in and nods his head, "Alright."
I stand up, knees hurting from the hard floor, and take his hands in mine.
Pulling him up, he's a little wobbly on his feet, but he shakes off the rest of
his tension. We both look completely drained, bodies begging for
uninterrupted sleep and worry in our eyes. There was no relieving us fully
of our anxiety, but for now this would do.
He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers, and has me lead the way
down the hall and into the waiting room. His family is huddled near the
wall closest to us, speaking quietly amongst each other as we approach. I
pull Harry in front, who does so reluctantly. His mom is the first to notice,
breaking the conversation and pulling him into a tight embrace, "Oh,
honey..."
I watch as Harry melts into his mom, feeling comforted right away. It
makes me miss my own mom, a small wave of guilt hitting me as I
remembered the way I talked to her. I was still pissed about the whole
situation, but I didn't like fighting with my her.
I watched him closely as he hugged his siblings, staying farther back to
let them have a moment. I had to blink away tears when his father hugged
him, whispering something in his ear that made him cry again.
When he was done, he looked around, eyes lost until he found me.
Reaching his hand out, I took it with both mine, calming the shakiness.
Wiping the tears from his face again, I felt a little on edge being around his
family. This was such a weird way to meet them, while their daughter was
in surgery. I didn't quite know what was appropriate to do.
"Uh, you guys-" Harry starts, but stops abruptly when he sees a doctor
approach Oliver. Hand still holding mine, he pull me with him, rushing
over. Oliver looks over at us, seemingly about to call us over when he sees
us coming up. "What's going on? Is Lu out of surgery?"
The doctor looks us all over, saying, "We just got out. Everything looks
good. Actually, it was one of the simplest pneumothorax's I've ever dealt
with."
"She's okay?" Harry's mom asked, and I felt his hand tighten his hold on
mine.
 I leaned in to him, my free hand coming up to grip his bicep, lips pecking
his shoulder. The doctor continued, "Yes, Luanne is going to be perfectly
fine. She's got a broken wrist, so we've casted that, but unfortunately with a
broken rib it's just about time and not doing anything to do more damage.
We also had to put five stitches in on a contusion on her forehead, but other
than that I feel very optimistic about her getting out in a week. We just have
to keep a close eye on her right lung to make sure the procedure is working
correctly."
"Can we see her?" Harry's sister asked calmly.
At this the doctor hesitated, "I can allow someone to stay the night,
family only of course, but she hasn't woken up from surgery. Most likely
she'll sleep through the night, and wake up sometime tomorrow morning."
Harry moves to sit down, his legs getting shaky on him. Sitting down
next to him, I lean my elbow on the back of his chair and comb through his
hair. He closes his eyes at the feeling, exhaling a breath of relief while his
family decides who's going to stay.
"Mom, do you want to stay, or..." Harry's brother asks.
His mom, glances at Oliver who is talking with Mike, and says, "Why
doesn't Oliver stay with Lu?"
Oli looks at her, gratitude but uncertainty clear in his expression, "He
said only family."
She gives him a look, "Yes, and fiancé counts as family, right doctor?"
I smile, seeing what she's trying to do. I think that doctor can tell too,
answering, "Yes, of course. Fiancé's count as family."
"Then it's settled: Oli will stay with Lu." She says, bringing him in for a
tight hug. I notice her whispering in his ear, but can't make it out.
"Mom, you and dad can stay with me." Harry suggests, "I've got a key to
Lu's, so Becca and Jason can stay there for the night? Or do you need to get
home to the kids?"
"No, they've got their mom's back home, and we knew we would most
likely be here for at least a night." Rebecca answered.
Rebecca and Jason left first, taking Harry's keys, and saying goodbye to
everyone. When they got to me, they promised to be properly introduced
tomorrow when everyone's had a decent night's sleep. I smile at them,
appreciating the hugs they gave me, and waited to talk to Harry.
Mike and Naomi came over to say goodbye, as well, promising Harry
that they'll let everyone know how Lu's doing. Oliver talks to his parents for
a while, and Harry finally walks back over to me.
"Thank you." He says sincerely.
"For what?"
He smiles softly at me, "For being here. For being you."
My heart warms, and I bring my hand up to hold his face, "You're
welcome."
"You're coming home tonight, right?"
"Do you want me to?" I ask, glancing at his parents.
"Of course I do." He answers seriously, "I don't ever want you to leave."
I tilt my head sadly, "I'm sorry, Harry."
Shaking his head, he steps closer, "We can talk later, okay? Think we
have a long conversation to be had."
I chuckle weakly, "Yeah, definitely." I pause before saying, "Harry?"
"Yeah?"
We're speaking softly, like we're in our own little world.
"I'm never going to leave you again."
Chapter Forty-Eight

HARRY
"I'm never going to leave you again." She tells me with such sincerity
there isn't a doubtful bone in my body.
She truly meant it. And after the hell that was today, it was one of the
only things I could've heard leave her lips to make me feel better.
"I-"
"Honey, are you ready to go?" My mom interrupts us.
Emma smiles at her, and I feel bad I haven't really gotten to introduce
them, but I was annoyed at her for not giving me a few more seconds to say
what I wanted to her.
"Yeah, we'll just say goodbye to Oli. Why don't you guys head out now?
We'll follow in a moment." I dig my keys out, sliding my house key off the
ring and hand it to my dad, "Meet you guys at home."
"Bye, son. See you in a little, Emma." My dad smiles kindly at Em.
"See you guys soon." She replies with a little wave, and they leave us.
Taking Emma's hand in mine, I lead us over to Oliver, who's ending a
phone call. I wrap him up in a hug, knowing he needed it just as much as I
did. While I was off having my breakdown, Oliver had been the responsible
one, and informed my parents of what was happening. Even though the girl
he loved was fighting for her life, he was taking charge.
"Thanks, mate." I tell him, patting his shoulder when we parted.
Shaking his head, he said, "Don't even worry about it. You feeling okay?"
I sigh, "Yeah, I'm okay now."
"Well, I guess I know now to just call Emma any time you're having a
moment." He teases.
I roll my eyes, but Emma chuckles, "Please do. I wish I would've known
sooner, so I could be there for him."
 I looked down at her, smiling softly, "We're gonna head out. Will you call
when she wakes up tomorrow morning?"
"Yeah, of course." He says, bringing Emma in for a quick hug, as well,
"And can you thank your mom again for me? For letting me stay with Lu."
"I will. I think we all know Lulu would rather wake up to your face than
mine, right now." I say jokingly, but there's a nagging feeling in the pit of
my stomach. I was nervous about seeing Lu. The image of her in a hospital
bed, nearly sending me back to that place again. I also wasn't sure if she
would want to see me. I had been especially cruel to her earlier.
We leave Oliver, heading over to the elevator and riding it down to the
lobby. When we get outside, I notice it was snowing again, so I turned to
Emma and asked, "Do you mind riding with me? I don't want you driving in
this weather, not after Lu..."
"I don't mind, Harry." She says, grazing her knuckles against my cheeks,
"Can we stop off at my car? Think I left my phone in it." I nod, following
her across the parking lot. "Thought it was in my purse all day. Didn't
realize it was missing until Naomi said she had been calling me."
"Wait," I start, "you've been away from your phone all day?"
She nods, "Yeah, I was in a hurry to get here, because of Millie-"
"What happened to Millie?" I ask quickly, stopping in my tracks, "Is she
okay? Is the baby okay?"
She turns and places her hands on my chest, smiling up at me, "She's
okay. Got a call this morning that she was being rushed to the hospital, so I
was a little out of it when I got here."
I nod, starting to walk to her car again, "Was this at my house? Before..."
She shakes her head, not looking at me, "No, it was after."
We reach her car, and she unlocks it, opening up her passenger side,
easily locating her phone. "Where are you parked?"
"Just right over here, actually." I point a few cars down, "If I would've
noticed your car, I wouldn't have been so worried."
I hear her sigh next to me, both walking to my car in silence. I had
definitely chosen the wrong footwear today, my Chelsea Boots not made for
snow. Turning the heat on immediately, I blasted it onto our feet. I turned
my windshield wipers on, and decided to wait a minute for the car to
properly warm up.
"I'm sorry about this morning, Harry."
 I turn to look at her. She was staring out the front window, looking self-
conscious, fingers twisting and pulling at each other. I shake my head,
encasing both her small hands in mine. She finally looks me in the eyes as I
say, "Emma, that wasn't your fault. I know what those feel like."
She breathed in a shaky breath, "I was so scared." She admits, making
my heart crack. "Nothing was working right. My body felt like it was
failing me, and my mind was working so fast that I couldn't focus on
anything."
I squeeze her hands, "You've never had a panic attack before, right?"
She shakes her head, teary eyes looking down, "No, I didn't know what
was happening. I thought I was dying." I sighed, knowing that exact feeling.
Terror flowing through your entire body as it started to quit on you. "Is that
how it always feels? Is that how you feel?"
She blinks up at me, vulnerability in her eyes. I nod sadly, "The first one
is almost always the worst, because you don't know what's happening. Mine
was like that. I ended up huddled in the bathroom of my dorm building at
two in the morning, feeling bad that some poor kid was going to have to
walk in on my lifeless body in the morning."
She moves in her seat, trying to get as close to me as possible. She pulls
one of her hands from mine, and combs back my hair, "The fact that you've
ever felt like that kills me. I barely survived one, and you have to live with
the fear of them happening all the time."
I smile softly, shrugging, "It's not that bad. Now I know what's
happening. It's easier to control my anxiety, stop it before it gets to that
point. Sometimes I fail - you've seen that first hand. I'm sorry I didn't notice
it sooner, angel. I should've-"
"No, no, Harry, I was purposefully trying to hide it from you." She
admits.
My brows furrowed, "Why?"
She bit her lip, looking down again, "I didn't want to add to your anxiety.
I don't want to bring more shit to your life. You don't deserve that."
I felt an ache in my heart, her having the same fear as me, "I've been
afraid that my anxiety had been too much of a burden on you."
Her eyes shoot up, face turning stern, "No, you could never be a burden
on me."
"And you think that's any different than what I feel." I say, a look of
understanding crossing her face. "Emma, I want to know every detail of
your life. The good and the bad. Don't worry about adding to my stress, or
that I might have an anxiety attack. You're, honestly, the only thing thing
that's ever calmed me down from one." I admit freely, making a smile
appear on her face. "Yesterday, when I couldn't get ahold of you while you
were at the police station, I nearly had one at Millie's. You know what I
did? I opened up a picture of you I had on my phone."
"Really?" She asked quietly.
"As cheesy as it is, just the sight of you steals all of my attention. When I
look at you, you're all I can think about. I don't feel anxious." I stare at the
features on her face carefully as I tell her, "When we were at the cottage
before the holidays... It was the first time in my life I had ever felt free, Em.
You gave that to me."
There's was a few seconds of silence while we just look at each other,
before she says, "Once I realized what was happening, I started to gain
control a little. I thought of you too."
"Emma, I l-"
I was interrupted again by my mom, this time by her calling me. My
phone was hooked up via bluetooth, so it stopped the soft melodies of
David Bowie being played in the background, and ruined the mood we had
created. Emma looked at my center console, seeing my mom's name flash
on the screen, and backed up.
Gritting my teeth, I answer, "Hello?"
"Hey, son, just wanted to let you know your dad and I are picking up
some food for the four of us. Is there anything Emma doesn't like?"
Even thought I'm pissed she interrupted the second time I was going to
tell her, I smiled. Glancing over at Emma, I see the faintest grin appearing
on hers, a blush of her cheeks at my mom's care.
"She's allergic to bell peppers. Thanks, you guys. Don't think I've actually
eaten today." I inform them.
"Harry..." I can practically see the frown on my mom's face.
I roll my eyes, "I know, mom. I'll see you in a few, okay?"
I hang up and sigh, resting my head against the back of my seat. I tilt my
head to the side when I hear her say, "I haven't eaten all day either."
We stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds, my fingers now playing
with hers. A silent conversation was happening between us, one where we
were both assuring the other that we would be okay, that we would make it.
It was clear that neither of us worked without the other. I hadn't even
noticed how little I had eaten today. I'm pretty sure my nearly full coffee
cup was still sitting on the counter back at home.
I finally back out of the parking spot, and start driving home, our hands
never leaving the other. It was about five minutes in, one minute in of Space
Oddity by Bowie playing softly in the back ground, when she says, "I'm
also sorry for being a shit communicator lately."
I glance at her to see her watching me drive from the side, smiling I look
back at the road, "It's okay-"
"No, it's not." She interrupts me. I can feel her piercing gaze on the side
of my face, "One of the things I love the most about us, is how easy it's
always been to talk to you. And you've been so open and honest, too, and
you know how important that's been to me." She frowns, "I just so
desperately needed you to be with me. In person. For me to even say it out
loud, and then everything happened with my place that I just couldn't give
Jake the satisfaction of taking away my first good New Year's Eve with
someone I care about so much."
Stopping at a red light, I look at her to see her tired eyes, exhaustion from
lack of sleep and I know her body is still feeling the after effects of her
panic attack.
"I wish I would've just came to you. I could hear it eating away at you
over the phone, and I-" I huff out in frustration, "I should've been there."
"Oh, baby," She squeezes my hand, "No, I should've told you right
away."
I open my mouth to speak, but with the sound of an angry honk behind
me, I realize the light is green. I drive forward, turning onto my street a few
moments later. "We can talk about everything tonight, angel. Unless you
want to just go to sleep when we're done eating. Know how draining a panic
attack can be."
She shakes her head as I park in my driveway, seeing my parents car on
the street where Emma usually parks. "No, I want to tell you tonight. It's all
eating away at me, and you're the only person I want to talk to."
My heart warms, putting the e-brake on, and turn towards her, "Tonight
then... Now are you ready to officially meet my parents?"
Her eyes go wide, "Oh shit, that's happening. I'm having dinner with your
parents."
I can't help the grin that forms on my face, "I'm surprised you seem so...
nervous. You were fine at the hospital."
 "That's because I needed to be there for you." She says unabashedly.
"You're so perfect." I tell her sincerely, "My parents are going to love
you. Hell, they already do."
"Yeah?" She asks with a bright smile.
"Yeah." I say softly.
She takes a deep breath in, "Okay, I'm ready."
Smiling, I get out of the car, waiting for Emma as she steps into the snow,
her own shoes not exactly appropriate for the snow. I laugh as she squeals
and rushes up my steps and under the sheltered entrance.
"My feet are soaked!" She tells me with a grimace.
"We'll get changed into some warm PJ's and I've got some socks you can
wear to warm up your toes, how about that?" I suggest, holding her hand as
I open the door.
Immediately, the smell of garlic fills my senses, and I know my parents
stopped at the Italian restaurant they force Lu and I to go to every time they
come down. I lead the way to the kitchen where I see my mom plating
everything up for us.
"There you are!" My mom exclaims, "Wondering what happened to you."
"Sorry for making you wait." Emma apologizes.
"Oh, no, honey, don't worry about that." My mom waves off.
I clear my throat, "By the way... Mom, dad? This is Emma. I haven't had
a chance to properly introduce you."
My dad steps forward, hand outreached, "It's nice to finally meet the girl
my son raves about."
Emma blushes hard as she shakes his hand, "Uh, Emma."
He chuckles, "Peter."
I see her face pale a bit, her embarrassed smile drop for a second, before
she turns to my mom who envelopes her in a hug. I can tell Emma is
surprised at the fervor in which my mom embraces her, keeping her hands
on her shoulders when they separate, and says, "Oh, look at you. You're
more beautiful than the pictures."
"Uh..." She stammers, looking completely out of her comfort zone.
I chuckle, pulling her towards me, "Stop embarrassing me, mum."
She gives me a look, but focuses back on Emma, "It's so nice to meet
you."
"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Styles. And you, Mr. Styles." She says
politely.
 It's rather adorable how nervous she was, and I remembered her telling
me she had never met the parents of someone she's dated. This whole day
was probably so overwhelming for her, but I couldn't help the giddy feeling
inside me watching her interact with them.
"No, none of that. Call me Amy." My mom responds.
"Oh, okay... Amy." Emma answers, glancing up at me.
"We're gonna go get changed real quick, and we'll be back down in a
sec." I tell them, pulling her out of the kitchen before my mom could say
something teasing.
When we got back up to my room, I cup her face in my hands, "Are you
okay? Is this too much?"
Her hands come up to cup mine, eyes softening, "No, it's not. I'm just
nervous. First time I've met someone's parents."
"Hopefully the last-first time." I add cheekily.
Her jaw drops, amused smile playing on her lips. Pushing me away, she
stalks to the closet, saying, "Don't tease me tonight, Harry."
I pull off my jumper, and take off my wet socks. I wasn't teasing her. I
think we both knew that, but we hadn't had that conversation yet, and with
my parents waiting downstairs there wasn't enough time. If I was going to
tell her I loved her then it would be when we had time to talk. And make
love. I would definitely be making love to her the moment she said it back.
I wanted to have our talk first, though - the one about everything that's
gone down and what triggered her panic attack.
She steps out of the closet in the same red flannel PJ's as she wore on our
Christmas holiday. I smiled as I put on new sweats, and then tossed her a
pair of wool socks. I watched her sit on my bed and roll the large socks on
her tiny feet, picking a pair out blindly for me. She giggled at my choice,
looking down to see a patterned sock with little corgi's and beagle's on
them.
When we head back down, we join my parents in the dining room.
Glasses of water were placed near our plates, and we sat down happily, the
food smelling delicious. I would be surprised if we made it through dinner
without falling asleep due to all the carbs on the table.
"Emma, what do you do again?" My mom asked her as we started eating.
"I teach seven year olds."
My mom's eyebrows raise, "So you like children?"
 I internally groan, knowing where this is going. Emma smiles,
"Definitely. Love kids."
"Her best friend is pregnant, and you should see Emma fawn over her." I
tease.
She playfully elbows me, and I can see my mum beaming, "Do you want
to have kids of your own?"
"Mom." I groan.
Emma just laughs, though, "You know, we were right about our mothers
being the same person. She'll be asking you that same question." She smirks
and looks at my mom, "But, yes, I want to have kids."
That seems to satisfy my mothers questions, instead letting my dad lead
the rest of the conversation. Emma relaxes pretty quickly, laughing and
smiling with my parents. I'm quiet most of the dinner, just adding in a few
parts to stories that Emma misses when telling them. There's something
about watching Emma become more present, her social anxiety slipping
away.
She was just so beautiful, no matter if she was anxious and shy, or
confident and bubbly. Absolutely mesmerizing in a way that quite literally
puts me in a trance. I can see the looks my parents are giving me during
dinner, my eyes rarely straying from Emma's face. I know my dad has told
my mom that I said Emma was the one, and not a shred of me in this
moment doubts that.
She was it for me. I had known that for a long time now, and that
uncertainty I used to feel about her feelings for me had vanished. Now she
looked at me the way I looked at her.
"It's getting kind of late." I say before someone can bring up another
topic, "We should be getting to bed, if we need to wake up early to go back
and see Lu."
"I checked out your pantry, and you've got enough for pancakes in the
morning. I'll make us all breakfast, and then we'll head over there." My
mom says, picking up out plates.
"Let me get that-" Emma starts, but my mom cuts her off, "Sweetie, I can
take care of this. You two look like you're about to fall asleep on us, so go
upstairs and get some rest."
I stand up, kissing the top of Emma's head, "C'mon, angel."
"See you in the morning, H." My dad says, turning to Emma and giving
her a half-hug, "Sleep well, darling."
 Emma smiles, looking at me before my mom comes back from the
kitchen and pulls her into a hug, as well, "So nice to get to talk to you,
Emma."
"It was really great getting to know you guys, especially after hearing so
much about you from this guy." She responds, and I take her hand.
"Oh, honey, by the way, I cleaned up a broken vase in your living room."
My mom told me curiously.
My face dropped, "Thanks... I accidentally tripped on my way out the
door, and didn't have time to clean it up."
I don't think I could tell my parents that I had lost my temper at Luanne,
throwing the vase against the wall in a fit of rage. I didn't even want to
admit it to Emma, who could clearly see through my lie.
I follow her upstairs, pulling her in for a tight hug the moment I close the
door behind us. She responds immediately, hands locking behind my back.
"Your parents are pretty cool." She says, words muffled against my chest.
I chuckle, "Don't tell them that. They were always trying to be the cool
parents when we were growing up."
She looks up at me and smiles, and I lean down to peck her lips. We
brush our teeth, and I leave her to do her nightly skincare routine.
"Hey, angel?"
"Hm?" She says in the bathroom.
"I'm gonna fill up our waters downstairs. I'll be right back."
I had set up water bottles for us in case we get thirsty in the middle of the
night, or we had rather vigorous sex. Grabbing both of our empty ones, I
head back downstairs to see my mom and dad still in the kitchen, loading
up the dishwasher, and putting leftovers in the fridge.
"Thanks again for cleaning up, guys." I tell them, turning the faucet on.
"No problem, bud." My dad says.
My mom, however, shuts the dishwasher door, leans against it, and looks
at me smugly.
"What?" I ask knowingly.
"She is..." She pauses for a second trying to find the words.
"Perfect." I complete, no shame in my admission.
My mother beams at me, "She really is the one, isn't she?"
I nod, "Yeah, I'm never gonna feel this way again. We've got some stuff
we have to talk about, but... I think she loves me too."
"She does." My father says knowingly.
 I breathe out a laugh, "Oh, yeah? How are you so sure?"
My parents share a look, and it's my mom who answers, "When we were
at the hospital you were completely unresponsive, Harry."
I grimace, "I know. I'm sorry-"
She holds up her hand, effectively stopping me, "When Emma came in
with Oliver, I could see the worry on her face, looking around for you in the
waiting room. When your friends told her where you were, she didn't waist
a second before rushing to your side. I watched as she talked to you and
touched you with so much love, Harry. That girl is crazy for you. And just
from that thirty minute dinner, I'm not sure I've ever met two people more
suited for one another."
A slow smile spreads across my face, "Sometimes I think I was born just
to fall in love with her."
My mom's eyes fill with tears, my dad coming up to put his arm around
her shoulders and hug her.
"Mum, don't cry." I chuckle.
"I can't help it." She says tearily, "I've been so worried about you. And
just seeing the way she looks at you, I know you're in good hands. She's
going to be an amazing daughter-in-law."
"Oh my god, mum, can you please refrain from any marriage or baby
comments in front of her? We're still young. We've got plenty of time, if it
works out." I tell her.
Her face suddenly goes stern, "Harry Styles if you mess this up, I am
taking her side, you best know that."
I laugh loudly, "Alright, mom... I'll see you two in the morning.
Goodnight."
I kiss my mom's cheek and hug my dad, bounding up the stairs with our
water bottles. When I open my door, I see Emma sitting near the headboard
of my bed, phone to her ear, and chewing at her bottom lip. Her eyes meet
mine, filled with emotion, and she immediately lifts up to her knees and
shuffles over to my side of the bed where I'm setting down our waters.
"What's wrong, angel?" I ask, wondering what possibly could go wrong
now.
She threw her arms around my neck, and hugged me tight, murmuring in
my ear, "I just listened to your voicemails."
"Oh."
 She lets go, hands cupping my face, "I should've called you to let you
know I was okay."
I shake my head, "Emma, Millie obviously needed you. That's what
mattered."
She purses her lips, and I miss the easy-going look she had on her face
earlier, so I pushed her down onto the mattress and crawled over her,
kissing her face while she laughed.
"Harry, stop!" She giggles, pushing me away.
My arms goes around her waist, and I turn her towards me, so we're
facing each other lying down. She cuddles into me, our bodies flush
together, and says, "I met my dad."
I was stunned into silence, not expecting this at all. Not the topic, nor the
abruptness of the conversation we've been dancing around for days.
"What?"
She nods, eyes landing on my lips, "Christmas Eve, my mom and I were
out getting some last minute things for dinner, and he recognized her, of
course..." I waited patiently for her to continue, letting her trace my jaw and
lips with her finger. "When I went to check on her, because I noticed how
uncomfortable she was, he realized who I was right away. Just said some
bullshit like how I was beautiful like he always imagined."
The bitterness in her voice was prominent, my hand sneaking up the back
of her shirt to rub her bare skin in comfort. "What happened."
"I tried to get us out of there as fast as possible. My mom- she was in so
much pain." She took a deep breath, "He caught up to us as we were
loading up the car." She paused for a long time, her brows furrowing. "He
has a daughter. She's a year younger than me. That's all it took." Her blue
eyes, more striking amongst the red from her tears, looked up at me, and
said, "For him to suddenly want a daughter. One year."
"Oh, angel..." I whisper gently.
She sniffled, "It's so stupid, because I shouldn't care. That man has meant
nothing to me since my mom first told me about how he left us. My mom
was enough growing up, but then seeing such a harsh reminder of the fact
that I was so unwanted before I was even born-"
"Emma, no." I interrupt, "This has nothing to do with that. He was a
coward when he left you and your mom. Truth is, he never deserved you.
Just like the countless people who you think you weren't enough for. They
didn't deserve you. None of them. You are so incredibly special, angel."
 She smiles sadly, "I know that now. Thanks to you."
I shake my head, "You don't need me. You've always been this good."
"Stop..." She says bashfully, and my heart soars when she smiles a real
smile. "His name is Peter, and my... sister is Maddie."
Suddenly, the look on her face when my father introduced himself made
sense.
"Me and my mom had this long talk when we got home, and I thought
everything was good, but it just got awkward. A few days after Christmas
she started to go out more, and she put makeup on and did her hair. Day
before New Year's Eve she went out all dressed up. Knew she was seeing
him. It just made me so... mad. So fucking mad. After a few days, she
forgave him. Just like that. Like nothing ever happened." She shook her
head, looking disgruntled, "I let her leave, and then I got the call from
Millie about my place. She wouldn't answer her phone - kept sending me to
voicemail."
"And then you came back to this shit storm." I finish.
She breathes out a laugh through her nose, "Yeah, to everything just
ruined. Anyway, this morning when I woke up, I checked my email, and
saw that my insurance had gotten back to me. Told me I let my home
insurance expire, which I don't remember ever getting a renewal
notification, so I couldn't claim any of the damages that had been done to
my belongings. That's thousands and thousands of dollars, Harry. It's most
of my savings. All the money I had put away to eventually buy my own
house, years of saving - the only time I had ever dipped into that fund was
when I bought my car - is going to be gone."
My heart ached for her, knowing how important that was. It was the
reason why she lived in such a shitty apartment for so long, why she
worked that bartending job for a few years out of uni.
"Then when I went downstairs to make coffee, my mom calls." She
swallows before continuing, "We got into this big fight. She wants me to
meet him."
"What did you tell her?" I ask quietly, continuing to rub her back.
"Told her it was never going to happen. That he was just talking to her
because he felt guilty and wanted to clear his conscious. He never bothered
trying to find us until we ran into him at the market, so I'm not really taking
his word to mean anything. You know, he never told his daughter about us.
Never bothered to mention he left his pregnant girlfriend six months into
the pregnancy. She probably thought he was a fucking hero growing up.
Didn't want to taint his own image."
She closes her eyes, exhaling a long breath, "We've never fought. Me and
my mom. I was so mean to her, but-" She groans, "how could she not see
that he's just going to leave us again?"
"Emma, angel," I say, intertwining our legs together, "it's okay to be mad.
It's okay to not want to forgive him after leaving you. What he did was..."
My face scrunches up, "rotten, cowardly, pathetic. He didn't think about
how he would be affecting your childhood, or hurting your mom. You're
allowed to be pissed."
"I know, I just- ugh! I'm feeling all these things, and I don't know what
any of them mean." She says frustratingly.
I frown, "Emma... Do you want to talk to him?"
Her eyes meet mine for the first time since she started her story. She
looked so conflicted when she admits, "I don't know."
My face soften, and I peck her forehead, "It's also okay to not know. You
don't have to decide right now. If he's serious about making up for his past
mistakes, and truly getting to know you, then he'll wait."
She doesn't speak for a long minute, and I watch her closely. She's truly
struggling with this, not knowing the right thing for her to do. I let her sift
through her thoughts, another long minute passing before she asks, "Would
you come with me to meet him?"
I was shocked, not expecting her to say that, but I also felt so privileged
that she would want to share something so personal and intimate with me.
"If that's what you really want, Em, then yeah, of course I'll go with you."
"I don't think I could do it alone, and you're the only person who makes
me feel not alone." She admits.
Every bit of me warms at her words. I knew exactly how she felt,
because the only time I ever felt whole in this life was when she was with
me.
"Then I'll be there."
She exhales, closing her eyes. I rested my forehead against hers, taking in
the serenity of the moment before she nearly breaks me by saying, "My
restraining order was denied."
My head shot back, looking at her with a serious look, "What?"
She met my severe gaze with hesitant eyes, "The DI that's working my
case called while I was talking to my mom, so I hung up on her, and he told
me that the judge dismissed my request for a restraining order."
"How could he do that?!" I asked outraged.
Her small hand cups may cheek, "There was no physical evidence, just
he-said-she-said-"
"What about your fucking apartment. He took fucking knives to your
bed-"
"I know, I know, baby." She says quickly, pecking my lips to get me to
calm down. The softness and taste of her strawberry chapstick does calm
me slightly. Enough for her to continue, "They brought him in for
questioning, and he gave them an alibi for the entire day my place was
broken into."
There was heated silence before I say, "So he got his friends to lie for
him?"
"Yes." She concedes, eyes watching my reaction carefully.
"So he knows about you filing against him now." I ask slowly,
swallowing down my own fears.
"Yes." She repeats.
I close my eyes, sucking in a deep breath through my nose, "Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, Emma..."
My hold on her tightens, and I hear her whisper, "I'm so scared."
It was the first time she admitted that. It must have hit hard when she
found out, and I can't believe she was able to last as long as she did without
breaking down. She was already dealing with so much shit, her emotions in
turmoil due to her so-called father, and now she had to worry about Jake
becoming even more violent. If I had been hit with even one of these things
then I would've been completely distraught, but Emma was so strong she
was able to keep herself together. She was able to go out New Year's Eve
and have fun, pushing everything out of her mind for one night.
I bet waking up, having it all crash back down, and then to get the one-
two-three punch that she did was devastating. I now completely understand
what had happened this morning. I even understood why she didn't want me
to touch her. She felt unsafe. That's why she called kiwi. But not on me...
On life.
"Emma, I'm so sorry." I whisper back.
"I have to see him on Monday."
Fear washes through me, "Um, he hasn't tried to contact you, right?"
 "No, nothing through social media, or his friends, or any random
numbers." She tells me.
I swallow harshly, "Okay, he probably got a lawyer, and I'm sure he's
telling him to not make any contact with you whatsoever, including work."
"That's not going to stop him."
"I know, but it might at least contain him for a small while. You've got
Niall there, he'll watch over you, and you've got me." I tell her.
She smiles sadly at me, "Always trying to protect me, aren't you?"
"I have to. Don't think I could ever live without you. Won't let him
fucking touch you, I promise that." I tell her seriously.
"I know you won't. I trust you, Harry, and we'll deal with this whole Jake
thing when we have to. The DI said they were still investigating, and they're
trying to get my old texts back, so there's still hope. Honestly, I think it
depends on what type of judge I get if we go to court."
"What do you mean?"
She shrugs, yawning, "I think there's probably still a lot of people out
there that value a man's word over a female's."
Sadly, she was right. She could easily get an unfair shake in a courtroom.
My heart hurt for her, wishing I could take away her pain and fear. She
didn't deserve this. She was the best person I've ever met. So kind and
sweet, caring for everyone over herself.
The fact that she had given her love to someone like Jake, someone who
abused her for so long, pissed me off like crazy. Not that she had fallen for
him, but that he could just throw it away. To be loved by Emma was one of
the greatest things I've ever felt. I could never betray her trust, break her
heart, or make her feel inadequate. My body wouldn't let me.
And now he was threatening to take that away from me. We both knew
he was willing to go to the extreme to hurt her. Emma has become an
obsession in his mind, and mixed with alcohol could be lethal.
Even just the thought terrified me, body shuddering with her tucked away
in my arms. To never feel this again... I might as well not live.
I must've been lost in my thoughts, because when I focused back in on
her I saw her asleep, exhaustion finally winning. She looked so peaceful,
every stress of hers floating away in her dreams. Puffs of air left her lips,
partially parted, her hand slipping from my cheek.
I think in that moment I fell even more in love with her.
 It shouldn't be possible. I shouldn't have any more room in my heart for
this woman, but I do. It keeps expanding to allow my feelings to deepen.
Falling in love with Emma Everly was the greatest feeling ever. It was like
flying and falling at the same time. The freedom of the open skies, yet the
stomach whooping power of free-falling through the air. Mesmerizing and
tantalizing.
I got up, and awkwardly pulled my comforter from under her body. She
didn't wake, but grumbled in her sleep. I smiled to myself, taking my wool
socks off her feet, knowing how much she hated sleeping with socks on. I
plugged in our phones on our respective nightstands, placing the water
bottles next to them. Turning off the lights, I carefully got back into bed,
pulling the blanket over us making sure not to wake my angel.
"I love you, Emma." I whisper, knowing she couldn't hear me.
Maybe my plan of waking up next to her would come to fruition
tomorrow, vowing the first thing to leave my lips were those four words.
Chapter Forty-Nine

EMMA
The soft feather touch of his finger on my skin woke me up.
I had slept so soundly, no dreams, nightmares, or in-betweens. It was the
first good sleep I had had since our last night in the cottage. I didn't quite
want to open my eyes, yet, instead basking in the warmth of his body
engulfing mine. I was held in such a tight embrace, lying on my side, his
arm wrapped around me, hand up the back of my shirt where his fingers
danced along my spine.
I shuffled closer, if that was even possible, burying my face in his neck.
A soft hum travelled to my ear while his foot softly grazed up and down my
ankle. I've never felt this level of peace, such a juxtaposition to how I felt
waking up yesterday morning. The last twenty-four hours had been a real
test for us. Somehow, we were able to find our way back to each other.
It would've been easy for him to assume I was done with him, that by
calling kiwi I was quitting us. It also would've been easy for me to run from
my problems, shut everyone out. But we were adults not stupid teenagers
who didn't know how to handle conflict, and above all else we held a love
for each other that I didn't believe could be rivaled.
Opening up to him last night, telling him things that I normally would've
kept locked away, and admitting how scared I was, was one of the most
freeing moments of my life. I had slowly felt that pressure that had been
threatening to overwhelm me ease away. He was sucking the poison out of
me just by listening to me. We shared each other's pain in a way I didn't
think would exist, like our souls were tied together by destiny.
I honestly think that Harry was my destiny. Like I was born to fall in love
with him, and to be loved by him. Never had I felt so whole in my life.
Growing up, something was always missing and my confidence and self-
esteem had suffered, leading me to men or people who would use me for
their own benefit.
I had finally found where I belonged.
 I kept my eyes shut, half-asleep, focusing in on his touch. The expanse of
his hand between my shoulder blades, rubbing until he met the middle of
my back, his hand slowly disappearing, replaced by the gentleness of his
finger.
Down my spine, playing with the hem of my pajama pants until it
tantalizingly moves to my hip. Gracefully, he caressing my side, shirt
budging up, causing goosebumps to form all over my torso, both because of
the cold air and his touch. He squeezed my love handles, long sweeps up to
the side of my chest, his thumb rubbing circles into my side boob.
It didn't feel like a move. This wasn't him trying to start something. This
was just him enjoying my body. I could feel the softness and care in which
he touched me, my heart growing just thinking about it. I felt so cherished
in this moment, and, while I didn't want it to end, I also wanted to see his
face.
My hand moved from it's very comfortable spot underneath my chin,
wedged in-between us, to his neck, flittering up into his hair to tangle my
fingers in. He moved a little, so I could feel his mouth against my hairline, a
small smile beginning to form. Tilting my head up, eyes still closed, I
waited to feel his lips touch mine.
Softly and carefully, I feel a graze of his lips against mine, taking his
time by nudging my nose with his. I let out a little giggle, finding this early
morning Harry to be so adorable. Finally, he kissed me for real, my bottom
lip in-between his in a gentle caress.
My hand moved to his face, his own mirroring mine. It was so intimate,
and, unlike so many times before when I would downplay these moments as
if they didn't mean anything, now I was living for them.
I open my eyes, focusing in on the beautiful man before me. His sleepy
eyes blinked at me, a bright smile forming on his lips.
"Good morning, baby." I say, voice still a little groggy from sleep.
I watched as his smile slowly started to slip away, a serious look crossing
his face. He was staring deeply into my eyes, "Emma..." His voice sent
chills down my spine, thumb caressing my cheek with care. My hand
slipped down to feel his heart beating rapidly. His mouth opened again, but
out of nowhere, our bedroom door swings open.
"Honey-"
"Mom, seriously!" He groans loudly, face falling into my neck. "Can you
at least knock?!"
 I burst out laughing, his mom giving me a look he couldn't see. I rolled
onto my back, bringing Harry with me, "Morning, Amy."
She smiles at me, "Morning, dear, I just came up to tell you breakfast was
ready, and that Oliver called and said Lu had woken up."
"How's she doing?" Harry asked, still buried against my neck.
"Apparently, a little groggy, but he called right as it was happening, so
probably better now." Amy says, leaning against the doorframe. "Now get
your ass out of bed, Harry. I don't want the food to go cold."
With that she leaves, door wide open, leaving us in bed. He sighs
dramatically, which makes me laugh. He grumbles, turning his head so he
could speak clearly, "Haven't been interrupted in bed with a girl by my
mom since year twelve."
I smile widely, "Oh, yeah? How did that go?"
"Super awkward." He answers with no shame, "The poor girl had her
hands down my pants."
I grimace, "Thank god we weren't doing anything. Don't think I could
ever live that down, and I'm sure your mom would think I was a slag."
"Not possible. Think they're about ready to disown me and adopt you
into the family."
I don't think I had ever grinned as widely as I am now, heart beating
faster at the thought they approve so quickly of me, "Really?"
He lifted his head, sitting up on his elbow, and looked down at me,
"Don't sound so surprised, angel. You're the most lovable person I know."
"Harry!" His mom called from the kitchen.
I burst out laughing once again at the pure look of annoyance and
frustration on his face. My hands cup his jaw, and bring him down for a
kiss, "C'mon, I really want some pancakes."
"Alright, alright..." He grumbles again, flopping onto the bed next to me,
rubbing his eyes, "Meet you down there. Got to take a leak."
After putting on another pair of Harry's wool socks and tying my hair up
in a bun, I head downstairs. I can smell the breakfast a mile away, mouth
watering as I realize just how hungry I was. I never failed to wake up
hungry after going to bed full.
"Good morning, Emma." Harry's dad greeted me, "Slept well last night?"
Pouring myself some coffee in my favorite mug, I answer, "Oh yeah, it's
been a rough couple of days, so to get a good night's rest was a lifesaver."
 I felt a hand rub my shoulder, looking at Amy as she passes me with the
maple syrup in her hand, "I'm sorry, love. Harry was absolutely distraught
when he told us he had to leave early. Said something about you needing
him?"
I smile, now knowing where Lu gets her prying from, "I'm sorry about
that. I hope I didn't ruin any plans-"
"Stop, Emma." Amy shushed me, "Harry knew what was important at
that moment. He did the right thing being there for you. And I'm sorry if I
interrupted anything up there..."
My face grew warm, eyes widening, "No! No, you didn't. We were just
talking."
I was telling the truth, but I had said it so awkwardly that I'm sure it
sounded as if I was lying. A snort from his dad proved my point, and his
mom was smirking at my rushed answer.
"Morning, pops." Harry said as he entered the kitchen, smiling as he saw
the coffee I poured for him. He kissed my temple, and said, "Thanks for the
coffee, love."
"And where's my thanks for the breakfast I made for you?" His mom
asked indignantly.
I smile, but Harry huffs out, "Still mad at you for just busting in my
room. Like I was a teenager again."
"Should've locked your door." She shrugs, plating up her pancakes.
The great thing about Harry's family was how easy it was. His mom and
him sparred constantly, while his dad just laid back and watched. It was just
how I had expected it to be from what Harry had told me, his mom being
very similar to mine, and his dad being more on the quiet side like Harry
was.
We ate quickly, wanting to get to the hospital as fast as possible. His
parents drove separately, probably staying there for most of the day,
whereas Harry and I left a few minutes after them, cleaning up the kitchen
since they cleaned up dinner.
I noticed how weird Harry started acting, only increasing the closer we
got to the hospital, finally just asking, "Harry, are you okay?"
He glanced over at me for a second, sighed, and admitted, "I'm nervous."
I furrow my brows, "Why?"
"It's just," he pauses, thinking of his words before continuing, "I said
some cruel things to Lu. Completely lost it, really. That broken vase?" He
asked, looking at me. I nodded remembering Harry's half-assed lie to his
mom last night. "Threw it against the wall, because I was so angry. I think I
scared her."
Frowning, my hand caresses up and down his tattooed arm, his hand on
my thigh, "So you're nervous about talking to Luanne?"
He nods, "We've never fought before. Like ever. And I went completely
mad. You should've seen the look in her eyes, Em. She was really hurt by
what I said, and then she goes and gets in an accident-"
"Not your fault." I reiterate quickly.
He takes a deep breath in, nodding like he was trying to remind himself. I
knew how difficult it was to accept that it wasn't his fault that Lu had
crashed her car, even if she had left the safety of his home because of him.
"Uh, I- what if-" He struggles to say, finally shaking his head and forcing
out, "What if she's angry? What if she blames me?"
I tilt my head, heart clenching at the fear in his voice, "Oh, Harry, baby,
there's no way she thinks that."
"How do you know?" He asks somewhat desperately, and I realize how
this had probably been eating him up all night.
"Because she loves you. Families fight, Harry. We say stupid shit that we
don't mean, but we'll always be forgiven." I tell him, my own situation with
my mom springing to my mind.
"Will you be there when I talk to her?"
"Are you sure you don't want some privacy?" I ask.
Shaking his head, searching for a spot in the parking lot, "No, I need you
there. Always need you there."
He said it so easily, freely, that it honestly surprised me. It shouldn't,
because that's exactly how I feel, and was pretty much the same question I
asked him last night when I asked if he would come with me to meet my
dad, if I decided to go through with it. He needed me there for support,
because he knew if things turned out bad that I would be there to protect
him.
"I love you."
The car jerked to a stop, Harry whipping his head to the side to look at
me, staring at me like those three words couldn't have come out of my
mouth.
"I love you." I repeated, seeing his silent request to repeat it.
 His astonished face made my heart ache, wondering if he thought there
was a possibility of me ever not reciprocating. I watched as his eyes glossed
over, mouth opening and closing until there was an impatient honk behind
us.
"Fuck." Harry cursed under his breath, parking a little lopsided in the first
spot he found. He put the car in park, pulling the e-brake on harshly, and
turned to me, "What?"
I smile, the opposite of his serious face, "Harry, I love you."
I barely got the words out before he surged forward, large hand gripping
the back of my neck, and crashing our lips together. The kiss literally stole
my breath away, emotion pouring out of him in a way I had never
experienced before. I heard the faint click of a seatbelt being unbuckled,
some shuffling, and suddenly Harry had both his hands on me, kissing me
deeper and with more passion. The angle was better, and I moaned softly
when he teases his tongue along my bottom lip.
Sparks flew as our tongues embraced, my own hands scrambling to free
me of the small restraint that was my seatbelt. When it clicked, I was able to
turn my body more, lean in closer, so it was more comfortable to kiss.
Suddenly, he parts, a loud wet sound echoing through the car as our lips
detached, "I love you. I love you so fucking much, Emma. Been trying to
tell you for so long."
I smile, lips still grazing each other, "I've been in love with you for so
long."
"Yeah?" His voice cracked and my heart cracked.
"Yeah."
He breathed out a laugh, and I saw the pure happiness radiating off of
him, eyes gleaming down at me like I had just saved his life.
"I love you." I whisper slowly, enunciating as clearly as I could.
"And I am in love with you. Until the end of time." He answers back, his
voice matching mine.
Our lips meet again, and I'm not sure how long we stay embraced in the
warmth of his car, but eventually we do separate, knowing we needed to see
Lu. Harry waits patiently at the front of his car for me, taking my hand and
kissing me once more.
The sheer ecstasy of finally saying it out loud, made it feel like there was
this effervescent glow surrounding us. Like every person who passed us
could just see the love pouring out of us. It was a feeling I hoped never
went away.
I hear him laugh lightly as we enter through a door to the ER part of the
hospital, that entrance being closest to where Harry parked.
"What?" I ask curiously, seeing the amusement in his expression.
He breathes out, "Just can't believe you said it first, angel. I've been
trying to say it so many times, but we kept getting interrupted."
"Technically, I didn't." I admit.
His brows furrowed, "Huh?"
I smile coyly, "You've already told me you loved me."
His confusion was cute as he said, "No, I didn't."
I laugh, "Yes, you did."
"When?"
"It was one night after we explored each other..." I start, a little wistfully,
"We were in the bath, and you were completely out of it. I think you had
found your subspace for the first time, and you said it so quietly. It was the
night before we had our first real talk about our feelings."
I could see his mind whirling around in circles, trying to remember that
night. His face softened suddenly, "I remember that night. You took such
good care of me, angel." He says softly, stepping closer to me, and cupping
my cheek.
"Do you remember?"
He lets out a small puff of air, "I remember lying against you in the tub...
The feeling of your body behind mine."
"You were slowly coming back to me, but also falling asleep. I was
playing with your hair when you said the quietest, softest..." I leaned in and
whispered, "love you."
His face scrunched up, "Why didn't you say anything?"
Smiling, I say, "Harry, we were still technically just sleeping together. We
hadn't talked about what we were, and I was so scared of what I was feeling
for you. When you didn't remember in the morning, I took that as a sign."
He was about to say something, but just then, a loud, "Harry!" took us
out of our moment.
I turned around to see a woman walking towards us, about our age, short
hair and big blue eyes. I frown, and look at Harry who looked a little
uncomfortable.
 "Harry, I heard about Luanne." She says, embracing him in a tight hug. I
watch as he returns it, looking as though he had done that many times. "I'm
so glad she's okay."
He nods, stepping back and wrapping his arm around my waist, "Yeah,
we're on our way up to see her now. Uh, Carla, this is Emma." He looks at
me, eyes watching me nervously, "Emma, this is Carla."
The name rang in my head, staring back at him as I remembered him
telling me of the first girl he loved and first broken heart. I looked at her,
her own eyes widening a bit as she looks me up and down. It's not rude or
judgmental, but inquisitive. She smiles at me, hand reaching out to shake
mine. I force a smile, my confusion still wrecking through my body.
Shaking her hand politely, I think back to everything Harry had told me
about her. I was pretty sure they hadn't spoken since they broke up, which
was six years ago.
"It's nice to meet you, Emma. Harry's told me a lot about you." Carla
says.
"Has he?" I ask, looking at Harry, who's watching me closely.
"Please, the guy wouldn't stop talking about how perfect you are." She
rolls her eyes.
I smile at this, breathing out a small laugh, "Yeah, he says stuff like that."
She smiles at me, "Well, I'll let you go upstairs. Harry, tell Lu I said hi,
and I'll be getting in contact soon. I really miss her."
"She misses you too." Harry says kindly, "Thanks for yesterday, by the
way. I wouldn't have been able to call anyone."
"Don't," she waves him off, "you were hurting, H."
He hugs her once more, letting go of my waist, "Thank you." He says
quietly to her.
I step back, sensing a moment between them. I'm very curious about
what changed. Last time Harry and I had talked about it, they were
definitely not talking so openly, but now it seems as though they've been
friends for years.
I wave goodbye at her, Harry clasping his hand around mine tightly as he
leads us to the elevator. After he presses the button, he turns to face me,
face full of worry, "Please, don't be mad. I didn't get a chance to tell you I
saw her over break, because your stuff was more important, and I honestly
kind of forgot since everything's fallen to shit."
I breathe out a laugh, "It's okay, Harry."
 "I just don't want you to think I lied to you, and have you not trust me-"
"Harry," I interrupt, my hand reaching up to cup his jaw, "when I told you
I loved you I gave you my trust. I trust you wholeheartedly, and I hardly
think I have a right to be angry at you for not mentioning something like
that."
"I love you." He says, looking down at me softly.
I smile, the elevator dinging, and pull us in. Luckily, it's empty, so I feel
comfortable asking, "Can I ask why you met with her? Or did you two run
into each other..."
He shook his head, "I reached out to her. I felt so guilty for years about
what had gone down between us, and I had a feeling it was affecting our
relationship more than I wanted to admit. Reached out to her so I could be
sure that no past bullshit would ever interfere with us."
My whole body felt warm, and I wondered how I could feel so drastically
different in twenty-four hours. Yesterday as I walked into this hospital, I
was filled with fear and felt as if my life was falling apart, but now I
actually felt happy and hopeful. I had a future today, whereas yesterday I
saw nothing but pain.
"I won't let anything interfere, either, Harry." I tell him, "Now that I have
you, you aren't getting rid of me."
He laughs, "Like I would ever want to."
We exit the lift, walking down the hallway to Lu's room, "Just wait until
you see my bad side."
"Darling, I will be just as in love with your bad side as I am with every
side of you." Harry tells me.
I give him a look of warning, "Don't go saying things like that when I
can't do what I want with you."
"You could always pull me into that supply closet." He teases, "Think we
could get away with it?"
I laugh loudly, "You can wait until we get home."
"Really not sure if I can."
I give him another look, only to receive that stupidly charming Cheshire
grin. I ignored the way my heart jumped, and walked towards the two
people I hadn't gotten a chance to meet yesterday.
"Hey, what are you two doing out here?" Harry asked his siblings.
"Doctor's only allowing three at a time, because she's still a bit out of it."
Jason explains, "Mom and Dad are in there with Oliver. She's on some
meds for the pain."
I watched Harry's face pale, the nerves from earlier coming back in full
force, "She's okay, though?"
Rebecca nods, "She's perfectly fine, Harry. She'll be out of here by
Friday. Said something about not being able to miss your Friday night bar
crawl?"
I chuckle, "Of course, she would."
"I'm Rebecca, by the way. Harry's other sister." She introduces herself
formally.
I shake her hand, "Nice to meet you. I'm Emma."
"Jason." His brother chuckled, "Believe us, we know exactly who you
are."
"Okay, don't embarrass me." Harry warns them.
"You know, I can't tell you how many times Harry has shown me pictures
of all your kids. He's absolutely obsessed with them." I tease him.
They laugh lightly, "Oh, Harry is definitely the favorite aunt or uncle.
The kids are just as obsessed with him. When they were really little, they
used to play with his long hair all the time.""
Harry smiled, "Right, I remember Ellie crying her eyes out when I came
home with it cut off."
Rebecca roles her eyes, "That kid is such a drama queen."
"She's one of the twins, right?" I ask, looking at Harry.
He smiled wide, a proud glint in his eyes, as Rebecca answered, "Wow,
Harry really does talk about them a lot."
"I really don't-"
"I mean, you do." I cut in, loving how easy it was to tease him.
"You're supposed to be on my side." He bites his lip to hold back his
smirk.
"I never said I didn't love it."
We continue talking for the next fifteen minutes until Harry's parents
walk out, Amy in tears. Jason hugs his mom, rubbing her back.
"I promise, Lu's fine. Your mother just got a bit emotional. It's your turn,
son." His dad says to Harry, who looks at me expectantly.
"You sure you don't want some alone time with her?" I ask one more
time.
He shakes his head immediately, "No, want you with me." I ignored the
stares of his whole family, his plea making me blush. "Besides, I know Lu
will want to see you. She'll want proof that I didn't completely fuck things
up with you."
I breathe out a laugh through my nose, nodding, "Okay, let's go."
I follow Harry in, holding his hand. Her room is about the same size as
Millie's was, the bed next to her empty, so she's got the room to herself for
now. Oliver was standing next to the bed, his hand holding hers as they
talked quietly.
Lu's head turned to see Harry, their eyes met and stayed for what seemed
like eternity. Harry was frozen in spot, me next to him watching his
expression. He was taking in the sight of his sister, hooked up to machines,
pale face with no makeup. She looked fragile, but annoyed like all this was
a little too much.
"Don't tell me you're gonna start crying like mom." She deadpanned.
Harry's eyes closed, puffing out a laugh through his nose. Opening them
up, glazed over with a thin layer of water, he says, "Hey, Lulu."
"Oh, no, you are going to cry like mum."
Harry laughs, hand dropping mine to wipe the tears out of his eyes. He
steps forward, looking more comfortable now that he had seen her. I
stepped into the corner to give them some space, although it wasn't much.
Oliver came to join me when Harry sat down on the bed.
He reached for his sisters hand, holding it between his two large ones.
They began talking quietly. It wasn't my place to hear, so I turned to Oliver
and asked, "How are you doing?"
He sighs, "I'm doing okay. Taking a few days off. Using some sick leave
to be with her."
I squeeze his forearm for comfort, "She's lucky to have you."
He takes his eyes off of the girl in the bed, "I was terrified I was going to
lose her. I just got her, and..."
"But you didn't. You two have your whole life ahead of you." I tell him,
glancing over at Harry to check in on him. I watched as Lu shook her head,
smacking his arm.
Oliver chuckles next to me, watching the same scene as me. Suddenly,
his voice lowers into a whisper, "I'm going to propose."
My head whips over to face him, "Are you kidding?"
He shakes his head, "No, this whole thing scared the shit out of me, and
we both know that my job can be a little dangerous, as well." He swallows
nervously, "I just want her to be my wife."
 "Wow." Is all I can say.
"Do you think it's too soon?" He asks me.
I shrug, "I don't know, Oliver. I'm not Lu. I haven't been in love with the
same guy since I was fourteen. For what it's worth, I don't think she'll say
no."
Nodding slowly, he looks back over at them, "It's not like I want to start a
family right away. We're still young. Lu is still young. She's got her career
she needs to focus on. I've just been dreaming about the day she walks
down the aisle in a white dress for so long, and when it was almost taken
away from me-" He couldn't finish his sentence.
"Have you thought about when you're going to do it?" I ask him.
He takes a deep breath in, "No, I still have to talk to her dad and Harry
first. I want both of their blessings. Then I want to make sure I get the
perfect ring for her."
I smile, "Well, I'm happy for you."
"She hasn't said yes, yet." He jokes.
I roll my eyes, "Please, like she would say no to you. Have you seen the
way she looks at you?"
An hour later, Harry and Lu had made their peace, Lu eventually calling
me over to talk as well. I could tell she was getting tired, the day of visitors
probably being a lot to handle. Harry ends up suggesting that we leave,
telling his sister that she needed sleep. She pouted but hugged us goodbye.
We talked with his family for a bit, his parents deciding to stay for one
more night while Rebecca and Jason would drive back home in a few hours.
His parents were going to stay at the hospital all day, though, wanting more
time with their daughter.
Harry and I decided to leave, knowing how overwhelmed Lu had been
with everyone fussing over her. She had her phone, so Harry would call her
later tonight for a quick checkup.
"Did you want to visit Millie?" Harry asked me as we made our way to
the elevator.
I felt a surge of guilt, forgetting about her momentarily in the heat of
things, "Yeah, that would be great. She's supposed to be discharged today,
so I need to see when I should pick her up."
"What exactly happened, by the way?" Harry asked.
The whole lift ride up I told Harry about what happened yesterday. I tried
as best as I could to explain what a placenta abruption was. When we exited
the elevator, I led us to her room, but when I turned the last corner, I saw
Millie being led out on a stretcher, crying, holding her belly.
Rushing up, I say frantically, "Millie, what's going on?!"
"Ma'am, please step away. We need to get her prepped-" A nurse starts to
say.
"Prepped for what?" I ask quickly.
"Em," Millie sniffles, "I'm getting a c-section. The baby has to come out
today, or something could happen to it."
My heart breaks seeing her breakdown, "Millie, it's going to be okay." I
don't know if that's true, but she needed some reassurance, however feeble
it was.
She shakes her head, "It's too early-"
"Millie, stop." I say firmly, "That baby is a fighter just like it's mum, so
don't put that shit out into the universe."
She gulps, "I'm so scared."
"I'm so sorry, but we really need to get to the operating room." The nurse
apologizes.
"Okay, okay," I say, "Millie, I'll be waiting for you, I promise."
"You won't leave?" She asks, eyes wide and fearful.
"Not a chance." I answer her.
Hopelessly, I watch her get wheeled away, Harry coming up behind me to
wrap his arms around my torso. I close my eyes to keep my tears at bay, and
hear him whisper, "She's going to be okay, angel."
Chapter Fifty

EMMA
The first thing I did was google how long it typically takes to perform a
c-section, which is apparently forty-five minutes.
So I had approximately forty-five minutes of my brain going haywire,
thinking of everything that could go wrong. Millie could die. The baby
could die. They both could die.
It was all awful things, and the only thing that was keeping me somewhat
sane was Harry. He had not left my side once. Always made sure some part
of him was touching me, knowing that it calmed me down. I couldn't
imagine this happening yesterday when Harry was nowhere near me. I don't
think I could've survived that, another panic attack surely would've
overcame me.
Right now, I was sitting in a chair, knees being hugged to my chest. My
head rested on his shoulder, his arm around my body to keep me tucked into
his side. Every few minutes he would tell me everything was going to be
okay, and let me know how much time should be left.
Forty-five minutes.
It felt more like forty-five hours. The clicking of the clock on the wall
becoming louder and louder as we waited. But I didn't feel the
uncomfortable pressure I had the day previous, my emotions and anxiety in
check. I looked over at Harry to see how he was handling this.
He turned his head to meet my eyes, tenderness emanating from him. He
was holding himself together, as well. Maybe the stress of what happened to
his sister had given him the strength to deal with this. He didn't know Millie
all that well, but he had always taken care of her in a way. Also with how
much she meant to me, I wouldn't be surprised if his anxiety was
skyrocketing for me. But he was calm, watching over me the entire time.
 Still gazing into my eyes, his hand tucks a loose strand of hair behind my
ear, "She's going to be okay, angel."
"What about the baby?" I ask weakly.
"That baby is strong as hell. It's-"
"She."
He smiles at me, "She is going to come into this world and grab it by the
balls."
I breathe out a laugh, "She is going to be strong."
"Just like her mother and godmother."
I had told Harry one night over the phone that Millie had made me
godmother to her child, and spent the next twenty minutes gushing about
how much I loved babies. I remember him not saying a word the entire
time, but soft chuckles finding their way to my eardrums. His voice
afterwards could be heard with a smile.
"And just remember that no matter what, I will be right here. I will love
you and hold you the entire time." He tells me, hand taking hold of my chin.
He tilts it up, pecking my lips. I smile, and say softly, "I love you."
"I love you."
Twenty minutes later, a doctor comes in, walking straight towards us. I
recognize her from the day before, Millie's OBGYN.
"Mrs. Everly." She greets, looking at Harry, "You must be Mr. Everly."
Even with all the nerves, I couldn't hold back my smile. I glanced at
Harry, who chuckled and shrugged, "Yes."
I shake my head, but turn my attention back to the doctor. "Good news
for you today. C-section - although it was forced upon us - went really well.
The baby is super healthy, a little on the small side, but all her organs are
working well, and her lungs are developed enough to breathe on their own.
We'll have to keep an eye on her, but I'm very hopeful that she'll be ready to
go home with her mom in a few days."
My face brightens, nerves and anxiety lifting off my shoulders and chest,
"That means Millie's okay, too, right?"
She's nodding before I even finish my question, "Yes, she took the
procedure like a warrior."
"Can we see them?" Harry asks, his hand on my lower back.
"Yes, Millie's a little tired from everything. I think her adrenaline is
starting to wind down, so we can't stay too long. Both her and the baby will
need their rest." She tells us, leading us back down the hallway.
 I follow eagerly, needing to see for my own eyes that they're both okay.
When we reach the door, she walks in with no hesitation, holding it open
for me. My eyes immediately start watering as I see Millie sat up in her
hospital bed, looking down at the small baby in her arms.
My breath seems to leave my body until she looks up and smiles brightly,
"Emma, I did it."
I chuckle, emotion thick in my laugh, "Yeah, you did. Let's see your baby
girl."
I walk up to her bed, noticing how exhausted she looks. I wonder if her
incision hurt or was sore, or maybe she was on some pain meds. I really
knew nothing about c-sections.
She angles her arms so the sleeping baby is visible to me. My heart
immediately falls in love with the little human wrapped up like a burrito.
"She's so beautiful." I hear Harry's soft voice behind me. His body heat
emitting onto my back, arm wrapping around my waist, "Just like her
mother. How are you feeling, Mil?"
Millie smiles tiredly, "I'm good. A little achey, but good."
"You look like you need about twelve hours of sleep." I joke.
She shakes her head, "No, I want to stay up with my little girl for a bit
longer."
I smile, seeing the absolute love and adoration she has in her eyes. One
day that would be me, looking down at my child, Harry by my side.
"Would you like to hold her?" Millie asks, already shuffling to hand over
the sleeping burrito.
I take hold of my goddaughter carefully, situating her safely in my arms.
I feel Harry look down at her over my shoulder, a soft kiss to my shoulder.
"Her name's Emma."
My head whipped up, eyes wide, not sure if I heard correctly. Millie was
smiling at me, shrugged as if it was no big deal, but I felt as if my entire
body was on fire with love. Love for my best friend, love for my namesake
in my arms, and love for the man that squeezed my body in his arms as he
heard what Millie had done.
"She looks like an Emma." Harry says, resting his head against mine.
"I want her to be like you." Millie tells me sincerely, "Strong and brave.
Never letting the world ruin her when it's trying so hard to."
"Okay, you need to stop before I start bawling my eyes out."
Millie laughs, "Just telling you the truth."
 I sigh, not knowing how to take her words. Emma a few months ago
would've flat out refused them, but now... now I was more confident that I
was those things.
For the next fifteen minutes, I stare at baby Emma in my arms, nobody
saying anything. It's a serene silence, one I'm sure Millie appreciates, her
head resting on her pillow. Harry was still behind me, lightly swaying us
keeping her asleep. She really was beautiful. And so small. It was almost
scary, hoping she wouldn't be crushed in my arms or something. I've never
seen something so fragile, but the doctor reassured us that she was as
healthy as could be. I kept track of her breaths, her little chest moving under
the tightly wrapped blanket.
After a while, I looked up, meeting Millie's tired eyes. We had a silent
conversation, both knowing what was coming. "Harry," I ask, breaking the
silence, "will you hold her for me? I need to talk with Millie."
"Of course." He says easily, shifting so he could take the little bundle in
his arms.
My ovaries nearly exploded when I saw him delicately hold her, keeping
up the same rhythm of swaying as before. Before I could jump him, I
looked away, and sat on the side of Millie's bed. Taking her hand in mine, I
say, "You know you have to call them."
She looks away, pain and fear flashing in her eyes, "They'll just turn me
away."
"You don't know that, Mil. You really think anyone could look at that
baby and turn around?"
Her face softens at that, "I'm so scared."
I sigh, "I know. I know it's scary, but I don't think your family would like
missing out on the most important years of both you and this child's life."
She blinks her tears away, "But what if they're mad I kept the pregnancy
from them?"
My lips formed a flat line, "Then they're mad. People get mad
sometimes. That's a part of life, but you can't run scared from it." I hesitate
before saying, "Take it from someone who didn't get a chance to grow up
with a part of their family. Baby Emma deserves the effort at least."
"I know." She admits defeatedly, "I don't think I can do this alone,
anyways."
"Don't sell yourself short." I say firmly, "You are also strong and brave,
and you would've found a way to make this work for your baby. And you're
not alone. You've got us."
She smiles at this, "Thank you, Emma. Thank you for everything. You
are-" She wipes a stray tear off her cheek, "the best friend I could ever have.
And my daughter can't have a better godmother than you." I smile
awkwardly, still getting used to compliments. She turns her attention to
Harry, "You better realize that this makes you my daughter's godfather."
My face warms, the thought of parenting - even just god-parenting -
something with Harry making my heart rate quicken. Harry takes this in
stride, grinning widely, "I am very much aware. If you ever need a night
off, Mil, we'd be happy to take her. Give us some practice, you know."
My jaw drops at his bold statement, half surprised and half not, because
this is Harry and he's been surprising me since I first walked into that gym
shower. His eyes connect to mine, an electric current running in-between
us.
"Jesus, it's like you were molded by the gods themselves. Are you even
really?" Millie asks, looking at me incredulously, "How the hell did you
find him?"
I shake my head, shrugging and chuckling hopelessly, "I have no fucking
clue."
"Hey, no cussing in front of my daughter." She warns me playfully.
I raise my eyebrows at her, "You do realize who's talking right?"
Millie smirks, "Yeah, I'd be surprised if her first word wasn't fuck."
We only stay for the next five minutes, Harry holding baby Emma the
entire time. I could see he was reluctant to give her up, but knew she needed
some time with her mother before they both slept.
Quiet goodbyes were said, so as not to wake the baby, and walked out of
the hospital in silence. Harry held my hand, leading us to his car that took a
second to remember where he parked, both of being too distracted when we
initially arrived.
Finally, we spot it, climbing in and waiting for it to heat up, snow still on
the ground from yesterday's little storm. I inhale a deep breath, close my
eyes, and rest my head against the head rest. I listen as Harry finds a song to
play on his phone, and smile when his hand automatically finds mine. The
feeling of his fingers intertwining with mine one I'll never forget.
"Hey, Harry?" I ask, opening my eyes, and lazily turning my head
towards him.
"Hmm?"
 "I know I probably don't need to ask, but," I smile, "would you be my
boyfriend?"
The moment the question leaves my lips, he's laughing, hand coming up
to cup my face, "I would love to be your boyfriend." He brings me in for a
kiss, both of us smiling too much to enjoy it for too long. He keeps me
close when we separate, saying, "What's with you surprising me in cars
today?"
I shrug playfully, "Can't help it."
He shakes his head, still smiling, and pulls the car out of the parking
space. The entire drive I watch him, the sharp angle of his jaw, the way his
Adam's apple bobs when he swallows. He'll give me a side glance every
once in a while, brows furrowed. I bet he was wondering why I was staring
at him the way I was, but I couldn't help it. I was just so fucking lucky.
We were quiet as he parked, walking to his front step quickly to get out
of the cold. I watch him turn the heat on full blast, take my hand, and lead
me upstairs. I can already feel my heart rate quicken, knowing what's to
come.
We enter his bedroom, the familiar tension surrounding us. He closes the
door, and I lock it for good measure, causing him to let out a quick laugh.
"My angel is so smart." He mumbles quietly, looking at me dreamily.
"Just don't want to be interrupted." I step up to him, hands landing on his
chest. "Want to take my time with you."
He doesn't answer me, instead kissing my waiting lips. It starts off soft,
gentle, but quickly turns into hunger, walking me backwards until my legs
hit the bed. I place my knees slowly on the bed, shuffling backwards as he
follows my lead. We never break the kiss, our hands now wandering our
bodies as we both kneel in the middle of the bed.
We take our time undressing, slowly stripping off the other's clothes.
Tops are ripped off first until my bare chest is flush against his hard one. He
revels in the feeling of my soft, warm skin on his fingers, constantly
caressing any part of my naked skin. I gently push against his shoulder, so
he will lie down on the bed. Straddling his hips, I indulge in his lips for a
few more minutes, his hands lovingly groping my breasts.
Breaking away, I slink down his body, and start tugging his sweats down
his legs. He's left in a pair of black briefs, but before I can take them off, he
pulls me up, and flips me over. I squeal in surprise, making him chuckle.
With no hesitation, and a smile on his face, his hands pull down my
leggings. Tossing them over his shoulder, he looks down at me, taking in
my body, the only fabric I have covering up the place he wants most.
He's kneeling in-between my calves, hands roaming up and down the
sides of my legs. "You're so beautiful, Emma." He tells me, voice dripping
in love and sincerity. "I'm so lucky."
My body warms, filled with adoration for the soft boy before me. My
own hands slink down to the band of my panties, and start pulling them
down, his immediately reaching up to help me.
Once I'm free of any clothing, he start to lay down, but I stop him with
my foot to his chest. His hand comes up to encase it, looking at me
expectantly, and I say, "Take yours off."
With a smirk, he tugs off his underwear, leaving both of us naked and
ready. I don't even look down, though, my eyes glued to his as he lowers
himself to the mattress, and plants his face in-between my legs. Wasting no
time, his tongue glides up my slit and wraps his lips around my clit to suck
on it.
My hips start to wiggle, his approach different than what I'm used to with
him. Normally, he's rough and brutal while eating me out, teasing me and
making me beg for him, but now he's taking it slow. He pulls back on my
clit, moving lower to circle my entrance, gathering up my arousal, and
pushing his tongue inside me.
I'm already breathing hard, the intensity of his eyes and the magnitude of
the moment making this more important than any other time together. This
was a celebration. A celebration of our love, now out in the open for
everyone to see. We no longer had to hide or wonder what the other was
thinking or feeling. And even though this wasn't our first time making love,
it felt like it was.
I wondered if this is how it would feel every time. Like it was a new
experience. And surely the way he was slowly eating me out, lovingly
sucking and circling my clit, flexing his tongue inside me, and letting me
swivel and ride his face freely was an experience I've never had.
My high came faster than ever, the emotion of the moment getting to me.
Our eye contact broke when my head rolled back, back arching, and hand
clutching onto the back of his head to pull him off me. Normally, he
would've stayed down there, pushing my limits and milking another orgasm
out of me, but he was already crawling up my body, leaving open mouth
kisses anywhere and everywhere.
 Shuffling to get comfortable, my hand cupped the back of his neck and
brought his lips back down to mine. It was all slow, meaningful embraces,
my hand wrapping around his erection and pumping slowly. He felt so good
in my hand, heavy, thick, and hard. Mewling, he grinding down against my
heat, effectively making me lose contact.
I push his hips up, a whine against my mouth, but take hold of him and
bring his tip to my soaked entrance. Our lips still moving against each
other, he pushes in. No matter how many times he enters me it's a profound
sensation, this one doubling as he bottoms out. I shut my eyes tighter,
holding in tears of happiness and appreciation.
He said he was lucky, but it was me. I was the lucky one to be on the
receiving end of his love. He was so special, a once in a lifetime person that
as he rolled his hips in and out of my pussy, I felt as if I might explode with
love. I felt him in every way. Physical and emotional.
It was overwhelming in a sense, never having felt this strong of a
connection, and knowing it will never exist with anyone else. He was my
end all be all, the love of my life, the holder of my heart.
"I love you." I whisper against his lips, both just grazing each other, not
able to keep up with the embrace due to the feeling of my walls hugging
him tighter than ever.
"Look at me."
I blink open my eyes, almost hesitantly, to look into Harry's striking
green eyes. There's pure emotion in them, his own eyes glossed over, a
beautiful mix of ecstasy and love looking down at me like I've never seen.
"I love you." His hand grips my thigh, and pulls it up to his hip. I
instinctively wrap my legs around his lower back, heels pushing into his
plump rear. The sensual roll of his hips become stronger, more purposeful,
as he says, "I'm never letting you go, angel. You're my everything."
My heart clenches and I gasp out, walls starting to clamp down on his
cock. My eyes don't close this time, not able to look away from the passion
of the man on top of me.
Hands hold onto his back for dear life, my hips starting to meet his
thrusts. He groans, forehead dropping to mine, and I feel how much this is
effecting him. How much my love means to him.
"Mine." I say, leaning up to kiss him again. It's hungrier, more passionate,
our lower halves now more frantic as we make love to each other.
"Yours." He responds, breaking the kiss for only a second.
 It's like nothing I've ever felt, and everything I've always wanted. The
utter desire in the way his hands grab at my body, and need from his lips
driving me crazy. My walls flutter around him, our rhythm starting to
become sloppy, but never lessening in significance.
Together, we succumb to our highs, jaws dropping and sounds of moans
and relief escaping us. With one final thrust, he empties inside of me,
stilling, my arms and legs still tight around his body.
"Emma..." He whispers, lying his body down on me. "More."
As I come to, I feel him inside me, still hard, still needy. With all my
strength I push him off me, and onto his back. My shaky legs swing over
him, hands on his chest to keep upright. I'm still breathing hard, mind hazy
from my last high, and I immediately collapse onto his chest when I sink
down onto him.
I'm hypersensitive, walls spasming around his achey cock. Biting down
on his shoulder to hold back a cry of pleasure, he holds me to his body,
neither of us moving.
"Take you time, angel." He says softly into my ear, taking my hair out of
the destroyed ponytail I had it in. He combs out my hair, waiting patiently
for me to be able to move. The feeling is one I can't describe, but one I
never want to live without. The pure ecstasy of him filling me up, stretching
my walls to the fullest was all-consuming.
Finally, after a minute of gathering myself, I lift myself on my elbows,
and look down at him. He gives me the softest smile, hands sliding down
my back to my hips. With his help, I rotate my hips in a circle, his groan
spurring me on. This was my chance to make love to him, and I was going
to take it.
I could feel him throbbing inside me, and knew it wouldn't be long for
either of us, so I picked up my pace. Lifting up and dropping down, rolling
and grinding with him deep inside me, circling and swiveling my hips. I did
everything, switching it up ever few thrusts. We stared into each others
eyes, my own close to tears from all the emotions surging through me.
One hand left my hip to cup my face, thumb wiping away the stray tear I
blinked out. His own face was blissed out, eyes dilated, as he says, "Me too,
angel, me too."
I drop my face to his neck, hands gripping his hair, as I feel myself start
to unravel. His own hips thrusting short and fast while my rhythm falters.
Within seconds, I'm cumming around him, the force of my high, causing
him to follow my lead.
I hear his strangled cry of my name, my whole body tense and clenching,
my climax lasting forever as I feel him start to leak out of me. His hands
come down to grip my hips, making sure they stay seated on him, needing
my warmth and comfort.
Fifteen minutes later, I lift myself up, and nudge his jaw with my nose. A
smile plays on his lips, and he turns to look at me, his now soft cock still
inside me. We stare into each other's eyes for what seems like forever until
he breaks the serene silence, saying, "You're my forever, Emma. You're it.
And I'm so fucking happy that fate decided it was you, because you're the
best person I've ever met. So kind, smart, and beautiful. Sometimes I don't
understand what you're doing with me, but I'll never trade you away. I
couldn't live without you."
The tears came back, this time falling freely from my lashes. All I can do
is choke out an, "I love you" before he's slipping out of me, and turning me
on my side, his body mirroring mine.
It's the same position we woke up in, his arm securely wrapped around
me, keeping me flush against his chest. I didn't care about the mess in-
between my legs, two orgasms now dripping out of me, I just needed him to
hold me.
"I love you." I repeat, "'I'm so in love with you. Don't ever leave me,
please. Can't breathe without you."
"Never." He responds quickly, tilting my chin up so we could look at
each other, "Never leaving you."
And that's how we stayed. Hours of us holding each other, confessing our
love and fears, promising to always be there. He kissed away my tears, the
feeling of his soft lips being the dream I always wished for.
Chapter Fifty-One

HARRY
Emma and I woke up early the next morning, seeing my parents off, and
picking up her car at the hospital. I was on edge all morning, seeing as we
would both be going back to work today. My normal anxiety from work
was compounded with her having to be around Jake all day. She hadn't
heard anything from the detective assigned to her case, so we both assumed
there was no new news.
She saw right through my attempt to hide my stress from her, of course,
making sure that she was reassuring me every few minutes that she was
okay and will be safe at school. Her touch helped as it always did, but my
worries were too powerful to fully evaporate. I even convinced her to let me
follow her to work after picking up her car. I wanted to make sure she
walked into the building safely, and there was still a little ice on the ground.
Our short respite from life, wrapped in each other's limbs confessing our
love to each other didn't last long enough. Life had been thrown right back
in our faces.
I was pleasantly surprised, however, when I got to work to see that
everything seemed to be put together correctly. There were some minor
changes and fixes that needed to be done, but nothing that I couldn't handle.
I would definitely have to bring some work home over the next few days. I
had Emma there, though, so it wouldn't be that bad.
My mind was on her all day, texting her once I got to my desk. She didn't
get back to me, and I knew she had already started her class. I wished I
could protect her all the time, but I couldn't. I had to trust that Niall, who
knew what was going on, would do that for me at her work.
She didn't contact me until closer to lunch, which I was skipping to keep
on track with work. I answered quickly, only needing letting it ring once,
"Hello?"
 "Hey, Harry." I hear her on the other end. She sounds light and happy,
calming me immediately.
"Angel..." I respond quietly, closing my eyes and resting my cheek in my
hand, "How's work?"
"Pretty good, actually. Missed all my kids." She tells me, "Jake's not here
today."
I furrow my brows, "He's not? Who misses the first day back?"
"I don't know, but I was relieved to see it. Especially, since Niall got stuck
on recess duty, and wouldn't be with me during break."
"Is that all week?" I ask her, going by some miracle that Jake would be
violently sick or something.
"Yeah," she mutters, "we'll see how it goes. I was thinking of calling the
DI after work when I get home just to see if anything's changed."
"That's a good idea. You know where I keep the spare key, right?" I ask,
making a mental note to get her a copy of mine.
"Mhm, what time do you get off?"
I think about all the work I'll have to do, and say, "Probably around five."
"Do you want to meet at the gym? Feel like hitting the treadmill
tonight..." She trails off, and I know instantly she's hiding her worry a lot
better than me.
"We can do that. Pick up some dinner on the way back? I think my mom
cooked everything I had in the kitchen for dinner last night." I suggest.
"I'll just pick up some groceries on the way home, since I'm off by three
thirty." She tells me.
I don't like the idea of her going places by herself, but I also don't want
her to feel suffocated by me, "Alright, we'll cook dinner when we get back.
I might have to bring some work home-"
"How are you feeling?" She asks quickly, "Did those idiots do their job
right?"
I can't help the smile that spreads across my face, "Surprisingly did pretty
well. Just want to keep up on this week so it doesn't swallow me whole."
"I've got some work to do, as well. We can do our homework together.
Maybe act like we're in college and slide in a cheeky make-out." She says
cheekily.
I breathe out a laugh, "I love you."
There was a pause on the other end, and I knew Emma was smiling to
herself, possibly biting her lip to try and conceal it. "I love you, Harry."
 I sigh, "Never going to get tired of hearing that."
"Good, cause I'm never gonna stop saying it."
My heart beat loudly at her words, growing in size and warming my body
all at once. "I can't wait til I get to see you again."
"Five hours." She tells me, "Five hours and we'll be together."
I don't know when I became this person. Counting down the hours until I
get to see my girlfriend. I had always been more independent, especially
growing up in a large and loud family. I liked my privacy and alone time,
but with Emma... I never wanted to leave her side. I never wanted to be
away from her.
I was addicted to her in every sense of the word.
Enough so that when I drove to the gym directly after work and saw
Emma's car parked in the farthest spot away from the door, I found myself
smiling. I parked next to her and went inside, changing out of my work
clothes and into some gym short and a t-shirt. My hair was getting a bit
long and fell in my eyes quite a bit that I used one of Emma's hair ties that I
had on my wrist - probably from me taking her hair out of her ponytail
yesterday - and tied up as much of my hair as possible.
I looked in the mirror, tilting my head, because I definitely felt a little
stupid, but it did its job. When I left the locker room, water bottle and fresh
towel in hand, I searched for my angel. I found her in the last row of
treadmills, running on the same one she always picked. As I walked, I took
notice of the sheen of sweat on her body, face flushed from running, and
wondered how long she had been there for.
"Hey, Em." I greet her, watching her hit the pause button and stepping
onto the sides of the machine.
She's breathing rather hard, but smiles at me anyway, "Hey, babe."
"You've been here a while?" I ask her, leaning against the arm of the
treadmill.
Shrugging, her arm coming next to mine, pinky wiggling against my
forearm playfully, "About thirty minutes. Shopping didn't take as long, so I
decided to just change and come over."
"You okay?" I peer over and see that she's only ran a mile.
"Uh huh," She takes a sip of her water, "did some warmups before I got
on. Been a while since I ran, so I feel a little rusty. I like this." She points to
my tiny fluff of hair sticking out of her band at the top of my head.
I smile, "Hair's getting long. I need a trim."
 Pouting, she says, "No, I love your hair."
"Yeah?"
Emma nods, smiling, "Yeah, it's the perfect length to tug on."
I give her a look, "Angel, you can't stay stuff like that when we're out in
public."
"Why not?" She teases.
"Because I can't do anything about it."
"That's never stopped us before."
I smirk, remembering the numerous times we have, in fact, gotten frisky
in public. I don't think I'll ever forget the feeling of her cumming all over
my fingers in the parking lot, wind blowing through my hair, the rush of
being caught making my our hearts race.
She bites her lip, but ends up laughing, "This is nice."
"What is?" My brows furrow.
"Being out in public. Not hiding our feelings." She says softly, eyes
flickering down to my lips.
Smiling, knowing she wants me to kiss her, I say, "It is nice. We don't
have to lie to our friends anymore."
"And I don't have to sit by idly and watch girls ogle over you."
My brows raise, "Ogle, huh?"
"Yes, it's awful." She says indignantly.
"Well, what are you going to do about it now?" I ask her, head tilting in
curiosity.
"I'm going to show them you're mine." She tells me matter of factly.
I chuckle, rubbing my chin with my knuckle, "I love it when you get all
possessive. It's really sexy."
"Okay, Mike is staring at us. You should probably get going. You haven't
properly boxed in, like, weeks." Emma's eyes look behind me and waves.
I look over my shoulder, seeing Mike with a smug look on his face. I
signal him to give me one minute, and turn back to Emma. Hoisting myself
up on the side of her treadmill, I place a fast kiss on her lips, mumbling,
"Promise you'll watch me from across the gym."
She laughs, pushing me away, "You want me to be a total creeper like
you were for me."
"You know, you admitting you knew I was watching you all that time is
also you admitting that you were watching me that whole time." I mention
cheekily.
 She purses her lips, trying to hide the smile threatening to appear, "You're
a real pain in my ass."
"I wish I was in your-
"Don't you dare fucking finish that sentence!" She hits my arm, "Go be a
lecher over there."
Holding my hands up in surrender, I walk backwards nearly tripping over
someone's gym bag. She doesn't hold back her laugh, saying, "You deserved
that."
With my eyes still on her, she turned the machine back on and started
running, unpausing her music. I turn around, giant grin apparent on my
face, and walk over to Mike, "Ready?"
About thirty minutes into our drills, Mike wearing the punching mitts, he
finally asks me what he's been dying to since New Year's Eve.
"So... how're things with Emma?"
I glance at him before throwing an easy right handed punch followed by
my left hand, "Good."
"Are you really going to give me nothing here?" He whines.
I chuckle, rolling my eyes at him, "I don't know why everyone's so
interested."
He gives me a disbelieving look, "Because it's you. And, honestly, Naomi
and Lu haven't shut up about you two being a cute couple since they met
her. I could see the connection the moment I saw you two at that coffee
shop."
"That's because we were already together back then."
"Wait, what?!" He exclaims.
I shrug, not seeing why I shouldn't tell people. Emma wouldn't care, in
fact, I think she would rather like it. "We've been seeing each other since
Halloween."
Mike looked at me shocked, clearly not expecting that. "I probably
should've known. Ever since you got Emma's address from Naomi that one
night..."
"Yeah," I concede, "that was a dead giveaway."
"I guess, I'm just so used to you denying your feelings I never suspected
you would have the balls to tell her how you feel." He said.
I smacked the side of his head lightly, "Gee, thanks."
Laughing, he pressed while fixing his hair, "You know what I mean. You
were dealing with all your problems with a boatload of sex from strangers
you didn't give a shit about."
I couldn't really fight him on that. "I know. I wasn't in a good place back
then."
"But now?"
I sighed, "Now I've got someone."
"So this is really serious?" He inquired more cautiously than before.
My eyes find her in the weight section of the gym, back to me, working
out her arms. "She's it for me." I decide to be truthful with my friend,
knowing it wouldn't really matter. I liked my privacy, but I also kind of
wanted to brag about my girlfriend. I turn back to Mike to see a shit eating
grin on his face. I roll my eyes, "What?"
"That was a very sappy thing to say." He teased, "She's got you whipped,
huh?"
"You have no idea."
Another half hour, and Mike and I are climbing out of the ring, Emma
coming up to us, "You guys done?"
Nodding, I say, "Yeah, think I'll take a shower here before heading home.
What about you?"
"Came in my workout clothes, so I'll take a shower at home."She says,
finishing up her water, "How are you, Mike?"
"Good. Naomi's got her first sonogram appointment on Thursday, so we'll
hopefully get to see the little bean of a baby we made." He tells her.
I see Emma's face light up, "Really? Oh my god, that's so exciting!"
He's nodding, a bashful smile on his face, "Yeah, we've been trying for
ages so this seems all so unreal, you know?"
"I'm really happy for you guys." She says sincerely, looking up at me
quickly to give me a smile.
"I'm happy for you two as well." Mike smirks, "Don't think Harry
could've chosen a better bird. Except Naomi, but I would've killed him so
he made the right move."
Emma blushed, but laughed while I shook my head, "We should get
going before Mike says anything too embarrassing."
"You mean like that time in college you almost got arrested-"
"Okay," I place my hands on Emma's shoulders and turn her around,
patting her butt, "time to go.""
She squeals, hands flying to protect her rear, "But I wanted to hear the
story!"
 "I'll tell you on Friday, Em!" Mike calls to her, as I walk her out.
It's still cold, but I suffer through in my minimal clothes, knowing I'll be
in a semi-warm shower in a few minutes. I just wanted to make sure Emma
got to her car safely since it was starting to get dark.
"What did you get for dinner?" I ask her, taking hold of her hand.
"I have this easy recipe for chicken fajitas that I thought we could try."
She says, looking up at me with her big blue eyes.
"That sounds fucking delicious."
She giggles, "Perfect! So I'll see you in... thirty?"
"Twenty." I answer quickly, "I'll be fast. Been away from you too long."
We're next to her car, so I pull her in for a kiss. She's smiling against me,
pulling away looking happier than I had seen her in a while - minus the love
confessions from yesterday.
"Drive safe, okay." I tell her, tucking a loose strand behind her hair, "Text
me when you get home?"
She nods, "Okay, see you soon. Love you."
"Love you."
†††
Only fifteen minutes later, I walked through my front door to a warm
house, and music coming from the kitchen. Smiling, I placed my keys and
wallet down on the entry table, slipping my shoes off, and head to the living
room. Emma's got her Spotify playing through the TV, the sounds of grunge
nineties rock filling up my house. I laugh to myself, setting my gym bag
down, and head to the kitchen.
She's got everything laid out on the counter, wearing a pair of my sweats
and the uni jumper she stole from me. Her hair was still wet from her
shower, making me smile. She smiles at me, arm opening wide for a hug.
My whole body warms, loving how easy this feels. This was meant to be.
After kissing her, I said, "Interesting music choice."
She shrugs, "My mom was obsessed with grunge back in the nineties.
Constantly had Nirvana, Alice in Chains, and Soundgarden playing in the
house."
"I love it. I'm a big Pearl Jam fan."
"Yeah?"
We talk about music nearly the whole time we're cooking, different songs
coming on, some I don't even know and she goes into some explanation
how this was her favorite song. She ended up telling me six songs were her
favorite, making me laugh every time.
The fajitas turned out pretty good. They were pretty simple, and we both
agreed to try a more complex recipe with more spices and such when we
had more time on a weekend. I liked cooking with her. We were both pretty
good with it, and moved naturally in the kitchen together. It helped that she
knew where all my stuff was too.
We sat and ate dinner on the couch, switching off the music to turn on
our show. She snuck her cold toes under my thigh, resting her back in the
corner of the couch, while I sat in the middle. I wasn't even thinking about
the work I had to do tonight. That was the power she had over me.
Normally, I would've picked some fast food up on the way home from the
gym, scarfed it down, and went up to my office to spend the next five hours
buried in paperwork. But I didn't want to miss out on time with her when I
hadn't had any time to really talk to her today.
When we were finished, she asked, "How much work do you have?"
I think about what I brought home, "Like two hours worth? I think that
should be enough to keep me on track."
She nods, "Okay, why don't you start down here while I blow-dry my
hair, and I'll do my lesson plans for the next two months."
She takes my dirty plate, heading to the kitchen while I get out my work
bag. Fifteen minutes later, she's sprawled out on the couch, her legs resting
over my thighs, my laptop on her shins. It's surprisingly comfortable, and
her presence is keeping my anxiety stagnant. She makes these cute little
sounds every once in a while, like when she's thinking hard about
something she'll audibly let out a, "Hmmm?"
It genuinely helps me not get too serious, and I find myself flying
through the numbers, inserting them into spreadsheets that I had created
myself a few years ago when I was promoted. That was probably the only
time I like my job. I loved creating new spreadsheets, and setting up a
system to do things properly. That was a fun puzzle unlike the puzzle I was
forced to put together after other people had already started it, forcing
pieces in where they don't belong.
Finally, two hours later I closed my laptop, head falling back to rest on
the back of the couch. I heard Emma put her stuff on the coffee table, and
smiled as she shifted around, the familiar feeling of her straddling me.
 I keep my eyes closed as she leans in, hands coming up to start combing
and playing with my hair. Her soft lips come down to place an equally soft
kiss on my neck. I move my head a little to the side, so she has more real
estate to work with, and my heart jumps when I hear her giggle.
"I love hearing you laugh." I tell her honestly.
"Yeah?" She kisses the base of my neck, her hand coming down to gently
hold the opposite side. Her thumb rubs the skin under my jaw as she keeps
placing soft, innocent kisses all over.
"First time I ever heard it I knew I was in trouble."
I can feel her lips curve up right as she reaches my jaw. Goosebumps
form all down my body as she whispers into my ear, "You knew back
then?"
My hand leaves her hip to cup her jaw, straightening up as I open my
eyes. I take in the sight of her face clear of makeup, hair dry but a little
frizzy, and the small bags under her eyes. Sleep still hadn't caught up to us.
We would probably need a full week to feel rested after the two weeks we
didn't have each other.
"I think I've always known." Her head tilts slowly, face softening as she
hears my confession. I smile at her, my thumb stroking her round cheek.
"Why do you think I was always looking at you? Tried telling myself I was
just curious, and then you nearly killed me by showing up in my shower,
seducing me into fucking you without a condom."
She laughs, "I told you it was safe."
Something popped into my head, "Did you actually take plan b? After we
had sex."
"I told you I would."
I exhale a breath, relaxing into the couch. Of course she did. She wasn't
the type to lie about something like that. It struck me, though, that I hadn't
thought to check in and make sure she took it. If it had been anyone else, I
would've been freaking out. I smile at her softly, "Yeah, I always knew.
Knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from you."
She leans her chest in, pecking my lips, "Do you remember the first time
I laughed? You said that's when you really knew."
"Yeah, it was Halloween night. I flung you over my shoulder, and you let
out this big boisterous laugh." I thought back on the memory fondly, "You
sounded so happy, and I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach."
 "You gave me six orgasms that night. Three at the bar and three in your
bed. Do you know how sore I was?" She asked with a fond smirk.
I chuckle, "I couldn't help it. You were walking around in that German
barmaid costume, wiggling your cute little ass at me every time you walked
by."
She mocked offense, "I was not!"
"You definitely were!" I accused her, laughing at her indignation.
She lifted her chin proudly, not looking at me, "Okay... maybe a little.
But you were giving me your sex eyes-"
I burst out laughing, "What?"
"Don't even try and deny it, babe. You were undressing me with your
eyes the entire night." Emma combed the hair that had fallen in my face
back, watching me laugh with pure adoration.
"Well, that is true. Couldn't help that either."
A silence fell over us, our eyes gazing at our faces. That was the amazing
thing about us: We could go from talking up a storm to a comfortable
silence that said more than when we were speaking. I felt her love for me in
the calm, the way she touched me, the way she watched me.
My hand roams the cushion beside me, finding my laptop she moved off
my lap, and leant forward to put it on the table. She didn't say anything, just
hung onto my neck when I tipped her backwards. My free hand was
sprawled on her back, making sure there was no way she would fall off me,
and I flipped us over so she was lying on her back and I was hovering over
her.
Her freshly washed hair was shiny and spread out underneath her,
smelling of vanilla and chai. Her legs had wrapped around my waist, and I
resting my lower half on the couch, keeping myself perched on an elbow as
I looked down at her.
We stayed silent for a few minutes, Emma tracing the sharp edges of my
jaw with her finger. Her thumb glides over my bottom lip, and playfully nip
at it. She laughs and pulls me down into an embrace, our lips moving
against each other as if we had all the time in the world.
"I'm so happy, Em." I tell her, keeping my lips close to hers, "You make
me so happy."
A puff of air leaves her lips, as she says, "Who would've thought when
you were wrapping your hand around my neck how much of a romantic you
are."
 "What can I say? I'm a complex person."
She laughs, the sound filling my home for the nth time tonight, "You
know, I was thinking..."
I smirked, knowing exactly what that tone of voice meant, "Hmm?"
"It's been a while since we've tried anything different." She says slowly,
eyes finally meeting mine.
"What did you have in mind?"
I see mischief clear as day in her blue irises when she says coyly, "You
made a joke about it earlier..."
My heart jumped, catching on to what she was saying. We hadn't had the
chance to experiment too much in that realm on her end of the scale, and
now that it was brought up I couldn't help but think of it as major
transgression.
"I would love to, angel." I tell her, kissing her once more, "As long as I
get to make love to you tonight, on this couch with you in my jumper, legs
wrapped around me."
"Mmmm..." She nips at my bottom lip playfully, "Harry, you can make
love to me anywhere and everywhere in this house. You never have to ask."
Chapter Fifty-Two

EMMA
As I'm walking to my classroom, I see a familiar blonde ponytail up
ahead of me swinging back and forth. I furrow my brows and speed up,
calling out, "Lauren!"
She turns around, smiling when she sees me, "Hey, Emma."
"What are you doing here?" I ask, surprised she would willingly pick up
a sub shift at Jake's school, even if he had been gone all week. "I figured
you'd be avoiding us for a while."
She sighs, "Yeah, me too, but they told me it was Jake's class I would be
subbing for. Apparently, the sub they've had all week is also sick."
"Huh," I start, "have you talked to him since you ended things?"
Shaking her head, she answers, "No, he hasn't even tries to contact me."
"Really?" I ask, shocked that Jake was leaving her alone.
She makes an uncomfortable face, "Emma, I think I might've made
things worse for you. When I accidentally mentioned you, he got so angry.
Kept blaming you for convincing me to break up with him. I told the police
when I gave my statement, but I haven't heard from them."
"Yeah, they don't have anything yet. The detective said something about
how his lawyer might've recommended him to take a week off to not be
around me." I sigh out, "And, Lauren, I don't blame you for anything. He's
good at getting things out of people. I kind of expected it anyways."
"I'm really sorry." She apologizes anyways, "What about your place?"
I had told her what had happened when she came in to talk to the police,
and I remember the look of absolute shock on her face. I knew she would
feel somewhat guilty about that, but honestly it probably would've
happened without her mentioning me. Jake would've found a way to blame
me no matter what.
 I shrug, "It's still a complete mess. The police said they have everything
they need, but I don't even want to look at it right now."
"You're staying with Harry, right?"
"Yeah," I tell her, "he's been great through this whole thing. I can tell it's
really stressing him out, though."
Lauren's face softens, "Of course it is, Emma. A person he loves has a
crazy, violent ex. You would be stressing too if he had someone after him."
"That's true." I concede, "I just wish things could be normal, you know?
Want to just be with him without all this sh- stuff." I change my wording,
remembering we are surrounded by a crowd of children.
She smirks, but says, "You will be soon. I've got a good feeling about all
this."
I raise my eyebrows, "Oh, really?"
"Yes!" She exclaims, "Good things happen to good people!"
I chuckle, "Okay, I'll try and look on the bright side."
"It's probably nice not having him here." She says.
I give her a look, "You have no idea. I'm constantly on eggshells here,
and this whole week has been so... peaceful. It's a bit creepy to be honest."
†††
"You ready?" Niall asks, as I pack up my work.
He's been walking me to my car every day after work, a promise he made
to Harry. Harry had even called him the other day to talk to him more
seriously about everything. I knew there was no stopping it, so I just rolled
my eyes and ate my tacos at the time. I did appreciate it, though. Having
that extra bit of protection was comforting. Even though I felt pretty
capable of defending myself, Jake was a lot bigger than me.
"Yeah, how was class?" I ask him, following him out to the corridor.
"Mrs. Horus was right. They're evil."
I burst out laughing, the annoyed look on Niall's face making me laugh
even harder. He had been trying to hide the fact that the class was rather
difficult for the past few weeks, but I could see he couldn't hold it back
anymore.
"Are they really?" I ask him once I calm down, wiping my tears away.
"You have no idea." He tells me seriously, "It's like they were sent from
hell just to destroy me."
I raise my eyebrows amusedly, "Huh, that's pretty rough."
"You're laughing at me."
 "I'm really not."
"Don't give me that, Emma." Niall huffs, "Don't know why I didn't
choose seven year olds like you. Everyone knows that's before they become
rascals."
"I have a hard time believing there's a huge difference between seven and
eight year olds." I say.
"It's true! They start questioning "the man" when they turn eight. Realize
it's all bullish-"
"Principal Williams!" I greet the older woman as she comes out of the
front office, alerting Niall to her presence.
"Emma, Niall, how are you?" She smiles back at me.
"Good, thanks." I say politely. Although I've been working here for
several years, I had never really talked to Williams that much. She was a bit
intimidating.
"How are you settling in with your class?" She asks Niall
He sends her a tight-lipped smile, "Loving it. Kids are wonderful, staff is
very nice. Overall I'm really happy with the move."
I purse my lips to stop myself from laughing, Niall nudging my side with
his elbow. I start to walk away, waving goodbye when I hear Niall ask with
faux concern, "Oh! Principal Williams, I was wondering what's going on
with Jake. I hope everything's okay?"
I keep my expression neutral, but send Niall a warning look. Principal
Williams doesn't seem to notice my rigid stance, instead answering,
"Nothing too bad. Just the flu, but he'll be back on Monday."
"Good." Niall replies amiably, "Well, have a good weekend."
"You too."
"Niall, what was that?!" I hiss when we are out of earshot.
"I was doing you a favor. You've been driving yourself nuts not knowing
what's going on." He tells me, zipping up his jacket as we exit the school.
"I'm surprised she even told you." I admit, "Technically, it's against
code."
"Yeah, well, people love telling me their secrets." Niall says smugly,
"Look at you, you spilled all the deets on you and Harry within minutes."
"Shut up." I push him away lightly, arriving at my car, "I'll see you in a
couple hours."
We were heading out a bit later tonight, Harry and Maura both working
later than usual on a Friday. I drove to Harry's, using the spare key, and
went upstairs to change. I still had a few hours before Harry would be back,
so I decided to take a nap, stripping down to my underwear and pulling on
one of Harry's favorite jumpers.
When I woke up, it was to light kisses on my neck, a hand gently gliding
up my thigh. I smile, eyes still closed, and shuffle around until I'm on my
back. I hear the familiar low hum, the warmth of his body hovering over
me.
My hands reach up to find his chest, rubbing softly as he slips the
crocheted blanket off of my body. My head turns to the side, letting him
plant his soft lips on my skin.
"You're so cute." He mumbles into my ear, kissing at my spot.
"I'm glad you're home." I turn my head, so I can capture his lips in mine.
I felt him rest his body on mine, obviously still clad in his work suit. My
hands find his hair, fingers playing and tugging at it while we enjoy the
innocent embrace. I can taste the spearmint from his gum he religiously
chews making me hum against his lips.
Smiling, he pulls away, "Love coming home to find you in our bed."
"Love waking up to you being all soft and cuddly." I say back.
He breathes out a laugh, pecking my lips and sitting up. Finally, I open
my eyes and take in the sight of him. His suit jacket is off, but he's still got
his tie on, telling me that he didn't waste much time in getting in bed with
me.
"Have half a mind to ditch everyone, and keep you in this bed until
Monday." His hands grope up and down the sides of my bare thighs, pulling
my knees up. His eyes flicker down to my panties, a smirk forming before
he playfully reaches down and hooks his finger into the crotch of my
undies, pulls back and lets them snap back into place.
My jaw drops, an amused smile appearing, "You're a rascal, Harry
Styles."
He laughs, lying down again, leaning on his elbows on either side of my
head, "Can't help it when my angel is going to let me do unspeakable things
to her body all night."
"Oh, is she?" I tease, my hand taking hold of his jaw to keep him in
place, "What exactly are these unspeakable things...?"
The smile that crosses his face couldn't be described as anything but
devilish. The sight burned into my mind, and my heat clenching around
nothing.
 "Gonna open your little ass up, and stuff it full of my cock. Gonna fuck
you like I never had before." He says in a dangerously, gravelly tone.
I shift underneath him, "You've been thinking about fucking me all day at
work?"
"God, you have no idea." He groans, "Can't look at my couch the same
after that one time."
I smirk, "Haven't been able to look at a lot of things the same after you."
Chuckling, he says, "We do get around, don't we?"
"We're such whores."
Harry burst out laughing, forehead falling to my shoulder, "We really
are."
We kiss through our laughter, my legs wrapping around his waist. After a
few minutes of tasting each other, he pulls away and looks down at me. I
can see in his eyes he's thinking dirty things, and I wait - slightly
impatiently - for him to tell me what's on his mind.
"You know..." He finally starts, "It's been a while since we've explored
that part of you."
"Mhm..."
"You might be extra tight." His mouth is mesmerizing as he forms these
words, the t's accensuated at his last word. "Might need a little help opening
you up properly."
"What are you thinking?" I ask softly, knowing exactly what he's
thinking.
"Thinking maybe we could bring out that pretty little plug you surprised
me with."
"I like that." I tell him, "Think I might have to wear it all night."
He nods, leaning down to give me one searing kiss, "Definitely have to
wear it all night. Think you can handle that?"
It's my turn to nod, and say, "Would you mind helping me?"
"Fuck," he curses, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against mine,
"don't know how I got so lucky. You're fucking perfect."
I breathe out a laugh, "Is that a yes?"
"Fuck, yeah, it's a yes."
I laugh loudly, Harry sitting up again, this time clearly aroused by our
little conversation. I watch as he shuffles off the bed, adjusts himself, and
heads over to our little sex chest. He finds the mini cloth drawstring bag I
put the butt plug in after washing it properly, and pulls out our bottle of anal
lubricant.
Sitting up, I end up on my knees, crawling over to him. My hands find
his tie, loosening it, and ask, "What time is it, by the way?"
"Nearly seven. We're running a little late, angel."
I pout, "So we don't have any time to fool around?"
He grins widely, "Unfortunately not, but it won't be long until we're back
here, promise."
I nod, "Okay. I'm ready."
An eyebrows raises, "Look at that... My angel's so eager."
"Your angel is needy."
He's obviously really happy that I've already started to submit to him. It's
been a while since I've let him have complete control, so this was like me
dangling a piece of cheese in front of a mouse.
Within a few minutes, he had me flipped around on my hands and knees,
ass up, and panties thrown across the room. My face was buried in the
crook of my arm, panting as his lubed up fingers slowly moved in and out
of me. He was doing a much better job than myself, opening up my little
hole to allow the plug. His voice was soft and soothing, talking me through
the feeling.
I think I hadn't properly appreciated the fact that Harry had a lot of
experience in this. Yes, I have done anal before, but honestly it was always
uncomfortable, and sometimes even hurt. This... this was different. It was a
lot, the pressure something I wasn't that used to, the nerves in my stomach
mixes with butterflies. I wasn't thinking of the number of disastrous. things
that could happen. Harry was keeping my mind focused on just him and his
fingers.
Enough so that I opened right up for him.
"Look at that..." His gravelly tone sent shivers up and down my spine,
"So ready for me, aren't you."
I nod into my arm, eyes shut tight, "Ready..."
"Angel, you have no idea how close I am to just stuffing my cock right
in. I'm throbbing just thinking about how tight you'll be." I jump a little
when I feel his other fingers glide through my weeping folds. "This really
turns you on, huh? Might need to fuck your ass with my cock while I shove
one of our other toys up your cunt."
"Yes." I hiss out, "Please... That's what I want."
 "Yeah?" He asks softly, fingers slipping out of my puckered hole, "You
know I can't say no to you." I sigh out in relief, already starting to slip away
before he crashed me back down to earth, "But I don't want to hurt you, so
you're going to wear this all night long."
I gasp at the feeling of the plug starting to push into my entrance, the
slick sounds of lube filling the room. His hand holds my hip firmly, and I
can feel his eyes burning into my skin, watching me to make sure I was
okay.
I felt like he was taunting me with how slow he was pushing it in, slowly
expanding my rim. The bulbous silicone head felt so good inside me,
slipping in and stretching me. There was so much pressure, and I felt so
ready, sure I would be able to take his cock right now. But I knew the plug
was much smaller than him, his girth impressive.
A strangled moan escapes me as he finally pushes it all the way in, my
rim closing in on the neck of the toy to secure it in place.
"How's that feel?" He asks.
I wiggle my butt, "Good. Comfortable." I turn around on my back to feel
it this way. Nodding, I look up at him, "I think we're good."
His dilated eyes look down at me, "Do you know how hot that was?"
I grin, "I can see very clearly how hot that was..." I foot comes up
playfully to graze over to giant bulge in his trousers.
"We need to leave in less than ten. Don't know how I'm gonna get it
down." He says uncomfortably, his large hand taking hold of my foot and
holding it still.
"That gives me plenty of time." I say, pulling my foot away from him,
sitting up and pushing him away. Unbuckling his pants, I kneel on the floor
and look up at him. "Ready?"
†††
It might've been the most sexually frustrated I had ever been.
Every move I made, I felt the toy in my ass, making me hold back small
moans and whimpers. Harry wasn't helping either, his hands wandering
over my body when no one was looking.
Now that we were official and everyone knew, his affection was obvious
and playful around his friends. I remember when Lu once mentioned that
Harry wasn't a very outwardly affectionate guy, thinking how weird that
was considering he was always so affectionate with me in general. I was
sure, now, that it was just me. That Harry couldn't help but touch me, claim
me, in any way possible.
He would kiss my shoulder, tuck my hair behind my ear, massage my
neck, grip my thigh in his big hand. But then he pulled me into his lap. We
sat at a regular table instead of the normal booth seeing as it was taken, so
when I walked back from the bathroom and tried sitting in my own chair,
his finger found my belt loop and pulled me to sit on his thigh.
Normally, this would be perfectly fine, but tonight I had an arrow shaped
toy stuck up my ass, making my pussy weep and throb greedily for him. He
even got really evil by moving his thigh underneath me, massaging the end
of the plug causing it to move inside me. I was forced to bury my face into
his neck and bite down on his shoulder in a warning.
He chuckles, combing his fingers through my hair, and whispering, "It's
okay, angel. I've got you."
"You're toying with me." I pout back.
"Just want you to be aching for me when I get you back home."
"I'm already aching." I tell him, giving him big puppy dog eyes.
He leans in closely, lips grazing my ear, and says, "And if you don't think
I'm as hard as a rock right now, you're crazy."
My eyes automatically glance down, seeing the bulge in his jeans. He
doesn't even seem embarrassed or ashamed, but I hook my legs over his
opposite leg, effectively hiding him from everyone else. That was for my
eyes only.
Harry knew exactly what I was doing, a smug look on his face. I glare
down at him, deciding to burst his bubble. "You won't be so smug when I
fuck you until you're crying with the strap-on I bought online last night."
His eyes darted back and forth between mine, seeing if I was telling the
truth. When he couldn't sense any lies, he closed his eyes, and rested his
forehead on my shoulder. I felt particularly proud, and found my heart
stutter when he mutters, "Fuck, I love you. Love you so much. I'm so
fucking lucky."
It was like he was saying it to himself, like he couldn't believe that I was
real, arms tightening around me. I knew that feeling well, the idea that
someone could fit so perfectly with you, mentally, emotionally, and
physically.
I had been shamed for years in bed, often finding myself with men who
felt the need to control, but didn't really know how to do it. They didn't like
that I wanted to top, or wanted to try things. They were afraid that I would
somehow take away their masculinity, fragile and crumbling already.
They had it in their minds that I was the fragile, crumbling one in the
relationship - one of them nearly succeeding in making me crumble to
pieces. Harry had trusted me to know my limits and what I like. He was
open to trying close to anything, and was excited to explore literally every
inch of my body.
I never felt more worshipped and loved than I did with Harry.
The fact that he can make my body react the way it does around him. The
way he can get my heart rate up, or carry a meaningless conversation about
lizards with me for a half hour. These things shouldn't all fit. No human
could possibly be so perfect.
Yet here we were. Neither Harry or I were perfect, but we were perfect
together.
The car ride home was silent, out hands clutching each other's to hold
back our desires. I had to close my eyes and rest the back of my head on the
headrest due to the vibrations of the seat against my bum. The feeling was
spectacular, but I wanted it out and Harry in. But knowing Harry, I knew he
would take his time and tease me.
He was such a cunt.
I didn't even realize we had arrived back home until Harry pulled my
door open and unbuckled my seatbelt. He helped me out of the car, arm
wrapping around my waist as we walked to the door. While he fishes his
keys out of his pocket, I stepped in front of him, chest to chest, and bring
my lips to his neck, sinking down to his exposed collarbone and sucking.
He groans, one hand flying to my hair while the other struggles to get the
key in the lock, "Angel, you're killing me."
"You've been teasing me all night." I murmur, hand moving down to cup
his erection.
I'm so turned on that I don't care that his neighbors could easily see us.
His body shields mine, but I know we don't look so innocent. He steps
forward, pushing me into the locked door. He is slack jawed, relishing in
the feeling of my hand on him. I'm sure he had been in pain somewhat the
whole night, his pants too tight to hold his cock.
Sliding my tongue across the expanse of his clavicle, I popped open his
jeans with both my hands, pulling down his underwear and freeing him.
 "Fuck!" He half moans half curses, looking around wildly to see if
anyone is out and about. I smirk, loving his sudden panic, but knowing how
turned on he is when his dick twitches and a bead of cum slips out of his
slit. "You really are trying to kill me." He adds shakily, getting closer to me
to avoid unwelcome eyes.
I lift my chin, staring up at him with want in my eyes, wrapping my fist
around him and pumping. The chilly air blows on us, reminding us of where
we are but I don't stop. We just stare at each other for what seems like hours
as I work him slowly. I know by teasing him, never speeding up like I know
he wants, means he'll be taking things extra slow with me tonight. Call me a
masochist, because it only makes me wetter.
Suddenly, with an inhuman growl, Harry unlocks the door, and pushes us
inside. His hands are grabbing my thighs, my hands clutching onto his
shoulders, as he picks me up and pins me against the interior of the door,
now closed, shutting us off to the public.
"Such a filthy little angel, aren't you?" His teeth run along my jaw until
he nips at my bottom lip, continuing, "Think you can just touch me in
public, huh?"
He shuffles and I faintly realize he is taking his shoes off. Probably in an
attempt to get his jeans off quicker. I start unbuttoning his shirt, my thighs
tightening around his waist to keep me upright.
I decide to taunt him further, smirking and saying, "You got to touch me
in public."
I can feel his cock underneath me, rubbing against my bum, like it knew
exactly where it belonged tonight.
"That's because daddy does what he wants."
I purse my lips, trying to hold back a laugh, but when Harry catches my
eyes I can't stop it. It's loud and I snort and the last thing it is is sexy, but
Harry's grinning wide, chuckling himself, looking at me like I was the
greatest thing he's ever seen.
"You're not supposed to laugh, angel." He tells me amusedly.
"I'm sorry." I say in a high-pitched voice, trying to stop my laugh, "I
really tried not to."
He pouts adorably, "You're not calling me daddy, are you?"
I shake my head, grinning from ear to ear. My hands cup his cheeks, and
I say as sweetly as possible, "Harry, I love you with all my heart, but you
will never hear me call you that."
 There's a moment of silence before he huffs out a, "Fine..." and tightens
his hold, starting to carry me through the house and up the stairs. "By the
way, your snort was the cutest thing I've ever heard."
I groan, throwing my face into the crook of his neck, trusting him with
my life as he gracefully carries me up the flight of stairs, "You weren't
supposed to say anything!"
"If you don't call me daddy, then I get to make fun of your snort." He
barters back.
He walks into our bedroom and flings me on top of the bed, a squeal and
groan leaving at the feeling of my bum hitting the surface. He takes his
jeans off, underwear following quickly. His shirt was already unbuttoned
due to my handiwork, so he just slipped it off his shoulders. He crawled on
top of me, completely naked, dick hard and leaking, while I was still fully
clothes.
"How does it feel?"
"Really fucking good, but I want more." I tell him honestly, desperation
laced in my tone.
"You've been so patient for me all night..." He says, leaning down to suck
on my body lip. My hands come up to entangle in his hair, but his hands
catch my wrists, pinning them to the mattress. "Maybe I'll answer your
wishes and stuff you full of my cock right away. Do you think you deserve
that?"
I nod, panting roughly, "Yes, yes, please."
"But I also really want to taste you. Been too long since I played with
your little clit." I whimper at the tone of his voice, sending shivers down my
whole body. "Bet it's throbbing down there, begging for my tongue."
My hips absentmindedly buck into his, and that's all the answer he needs.
He lets go of my wrists, sits up, pulling me up with him, ripping my jumper
off my body and unhooking my bra. Forcing me back down, his lips wrap
around my needy nipple, pebbling at his words and touch, his fingers
pinching the other one. His teeth tug my bud up, and my back arches,
incredibly turned on.
Sliding down my body, he unbuttons my jeans and pulls them down,
mouth covering my core over my silk panties. His tongue grazes and flicks,
but it's muffled through the fabric until I'm tugging them down on my own.
I'm surprised he lets me, but the smug smirk on his face tells me he loves
how desperate I am for him right now.
 Our eyes meet, and I watch him lower back down to my heat, his mouth
open. His devilish tongue pokes out flicking my bean. My head
immediately rolls back, eyes shutting at the glorious feeling. I gasp when I
feel the warmth of his mouth enclose over my clit, sucking it in and flicking
it furiously. He wastes no time, circling and rubbing. There's no teasing and
no buildup, just him destroying my clit, making my body shake as my
orgasm builds faster than ever before.
I roll my hips against his face, hand flying to the back of his head, and
pulling him as close as possible. I can feel his sharp exhales through his
nose hitting my pelvis, and he moans out in equal ecstasy, loving being
suffocated in my pussy.
I inhale sharply, body tenses as a wave of relief hits me, my orgasm
overtaking. I flinch away from him, after a few seconds, body turning to
jello as I come down. He stands up, staring down at my body, his green
eyes dark and destitute.
"Gonna need you to get on your stomach, darling."
I nearly moan at just the sound of his voice, sounding exactly like he
does in the morning when I wake him up with my hand on his woody. I
follow directions, perching myself up on my elbows, watching him pick up
the lube we used earlier, and the rabbit vibrator he set aside for us.
Surprisingly, instead of returning to the end of the bed, he comes up
beside me, handing over the bottle of lube, and asks, "Will you do the
honor?"
I smile excitedly, sitting up. and squirting a good amount in the palm of
my hand. The lukewarm gel makes my heart rate speed back up, excited to
finally be doing this. This would be my first pleasurable experience with
anal, and I knew I was in good hands with Harry. I rubbed it all up and
down his length, pants coming from above, but I was too mesmerized by
the look of his glistening cock to look up.
When I was done, he handed me over a few tissues to wipe my hands
clean. His finger tilted my chin up after I tossed them towards the trash,
both landing on the floor just shy of the bin. I looked up at him to see the
possessive, masculine Harry I've only seen a few times. Even when he
handcuffed me that first time, he gave me some of the power with the cock
ring, but now I saw that he had every ounce of power in this situation.
I listened intently, not daring to interrupt him as he said, "I'm gonna take
out our little toy now, okay? Then I'm gonna see how open you are, might
need to play with your rim a little longer. I'll let you know when you're
ready. I'm gonna need you to answer me when I ask you questions, Emma.
I'll need to hear your voice, so I know you're okay. Does that make sense?"
"Yes."
"And I'm not going to cum inside you. I'll pull out and cum on your
back." He notices my pout and furrowed brows, chuckling, and moving his
hand to cup my jaw. "Cum in your bum can be a little unpleasant, so we'll
build up to that. Maybe one day I'll stick the plug back in to keep my juices
in you."
I nearly drool at the thought, and he can see that I'm ready by the hungry
look on my face. Leaning down to give me a quick kiss, he goes back to the
end of the bed. I feel the mattress sink as he climbs on, and jump when his
hands find my hips, lifting my ass in the air.
He hums at the sight before him, his fingers circling the end of the plug
before taking hold of it, and slowly pulling it out. I keen at the feeling,
relief from the pressure washing over me, but the moment it's gone I miss it.
The feeling of being full is addicting, and I can't wait to feel what his cock
feels like.
"You amaze me every time, angel." I hear his voice behind me, "So open
and ready for me already." I feel his thumb hook at my rim, pulling lightly.
My forehead finds the mattress, hands fisting at the comforter to relieve
some tension. "Think you've opened up for me with barely any prep."
I nod, "Yes."
I feel him place his tip against my puckered hole, the feeling of lube
between my cheeks a different one. "I'm gonna push in now, okay?"
"I'm ready." I assure breathlessly.
I close my eyes, letting out a strangled cry as he starts to inch into me.
The pressure is outstanding and this was just his tip.
Feeling him inch in feels like it lasts forever, his slow pace and intense
feeling extending the seconds. He pauses for a moment, grunting, "You
okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I rush out, "Keep going, please, feels so good."
I could hear the strain in his voice, obvious ecstasy from feeling my tight
walls sucking him in deeper. I can hear the sound of him slipping in,
making my pussy nearly cry. Finally, he bottoms out with a grunt, panting
and asking, "I'm all in, angel. That's it, you took me so well. Fuck, you feel
so good, so soft inside. Like fucking heaven."
 "Love you." I mumble out, feeling a daze wash through me. One I had
only felt a few times before where everything slips away beside Harry and
I.
His hands squeeze my hips lovingly, "I love you, angel."
After a few more seconds, he asks, "Are you okay if I move?"
Nodding, I say simply, "Yes."
Slowly, he pulls out, relief filling me, but only half way out he sinks back
in, the pressure expanding. It's the craziest feeling I've ever experienced. It
was so incredibly intense, the feeling of him inside me almost too much, but
the moment he leaves I desperately want it back. It's like my body couldn't
decide which felt better, begging for him to move quicker and harder.
I hear my voice distantly calling out those requests, and he follows easily,
the sound of his breathing making me dizzy. I'm simply overwhelmed and
when I hear the sound of fast vibrations, my core clenches. He toys with my
folds, drenching the tip of the vibrator in my arousal that had now dripped
and spread all over the inside of my thighs.
I cry out when he pushes it in, angling it directly onto my G-spot, "Fuck!
Oh god, oh god..." I whine.
"Angel, use your words." He demands of me, "Need to know if it's too
much."
I feel a tear leave my eye as I shake my head furiously, "Don't stop,
please don't. You feel so good. Just- Ah! Just need you harder. Fuck me,
Harry, fuck me."
I get exactly what I ask for, his pelvis ramming into my ass, cock filling
me up over and over. I feel him everywhere, and I can tell he's enjoying the
vibrations inside me, as well, when he stutters out, "H-holy shit. Fuck, Em,
you're so perfect. Can feel everything this way."
"More..." I beg of him, mouth hanging open in ecstasy.
I feel his hand move to the small of my back, the other holding the
vibrator inside me as it tortures my pussy. I can feel my ass jiggling as he
slams into me, the sound of lube and skin erotic and enticing.
I'm making the strangest noises as more of my nerves are more
stimulated than they've ever been. I don't even see my orgasm coming,
mind clouded in love and haze. I scream out, body shaking, both holes
clenching at the feeling.
"Emma!" He calls out, pulling out suddenly, both his cock and the
vibrator. I imagine him jerking off, and I'm gratified when I feel his warm
cum hit my back. Collapsing onto the bed, my chest heaves as I try and
catch my breath.
I'm so out of it, completely trapped in my subspace that I don't feel him
cleaning me up. I don't hear him leave to use the restroom or wet a towel. I
don't hear him play some light music off his phone, and turn the lights off.
All I feel is him, crawling back over me, the warmth of his chest on my
back, and the tickle of his breath on my neck.
"I love you."
Chapter Fifty-Three

HARRY
God, the feeling of her lips on me is something I never thought was
possible. She was addicting in every way possible, her taste, her touch, the
sounds she makes. It's all too much and never enough.
She's let me touch her in every way possible, opened up her body to me
like no one ever has. The feeling of being inside her, warm, wet, and tight,
made my head spin and the air leave my lungs. It shouldn't be so easy to
cum. I shouldn't be losing my mind and letting words slip from my lips as
she takes me greedily.
Every part of her is perfect. Her skin soft, hands itching to be on her. Her
hair long and easy to tangle my fingers into. She's so strong, able to ride me
for as long as she needs to get herself off. I've always had to do the heavy
lifting, which didn't matter to me all that much, but now being able to sit
back and just enjoy her body, feel her with every one of my senses focused
on her movements as heavenly.
Her body is a dream, thighs thick and juicy, just asking for me to bite into
them, mark them up before truly getting to taste her. I love being able to
squeeze them and feel the pillowy softness before reaching her muscles.
The curve of her waist accentuating her wide hips and succulent breasts.
Her stomach was smooth and soft, perfect for me to rest my head on while
lying on the couch.
My fingers loved to find the stretch marks on her hip and thighs. They
made her so much more real, proving to me that she couldn't be fictional. I
wasn't imagining things when she walked right up to me, straddled my
thighs, and stripped off her top. She was flesh and bone, perfect and
imperfect at the same time.
I adored her in every way, not just her body, though. I loved when she
would giggle if I dusted my fingers over her side, ticklish in the smallest
way. I loved when she broke through the silence with random comments or
dumb animal facts. And when she would tiptoe across the cold tile of the
bathroom in the morning, her feet cold and body usually naked.
 I worshipped her. Her body, soul, and mind.
And by the way she looked and touched me, the small smile that would
grace her face when we made eye contact in the bathroom mirror while I
was shaving, told me that it was the same for her.
The touch of her fingers gliding up my chest when we kissed, how she
would press herself against me when I deepened our embrace. Fuck, I loved
her. I loved every single thing about her, and somehow she had fallen in
love with me. Somehow I was lucky enough to have been gifted this angel
in my lap, and as her full, lush lips met mine over and over I fell even
deeper in love with her.
Emma whispered mine name as we disconnected needing to breathe. Her
nose nudged mine, and our eyes opened to meet, both hazy and blissed out
from our intense kiss. And then she smiled. My heart nearly beat out of my
chest at the sight, my own smile following close behind. I could see the
happiness radiating off of her, and if that was the only thing I could give her
in a time where we had so much to worry about, so much threatening our
safety, then I would make it my life's mission to see her like this every day.
"I love you." Her voice came out hoarse, the morning still upon us, but
the croaky, low tone, sent a bolt of lightning through my body.
"And I love you." I answer before capturing her lips in mine once again.
It was Sunday, two days after she had let me show her a knew way to
fuck and make love to her. We ended up staying up until the wee hours of
the morning, falling asleep close to five. We stayed in the house all day
yesterday, cooking and cleaning, making a plan to get the rest of her
unbroken things out of her apartment and talking about cleaning it up.
I knew the topic wasn't her favorite, but I tried my best to make her see
the positive. I was tempted to help her pay for the damage, knowing it
would take up almost all her savings along with the lawyer she was
searching around for, but I knew she wouldn't accept it. The last thing she
wanted was my money, or for me to fix every life problem of hers.
She was frustrating that way, but it was also one of the reasons I loved
her as much as I did. In the last few years, once I accepting my position at
Spectron, there were a few blind dates I went on - set up by friends - that
had made it pretty clear they liked my money. Sure, I slept with them,
because I was desperate to find any spark of anything back then, but it left
me emptier than usual.
 It was also a reason why I never invited any date or easy fuck back to my
place. This was a private sanctuary for me, a place that I treasured and
showed off my hard work. My home kept my secrets, watched me fall apart
many times, and now watched me fall in love.
We were up early, because we ended up falling asleep on the couch at
eight in the evening while watching a movie, bodies and minds exhausted
from the night previous. I cooked her breakfast while she sat on the counter
drinking her coffee, and she cleaned up while I picked something for us to
watch on Netflix.
That's when she sauntered over, pulling my jumper off her torso, tits out,
and straddled my legs in just her panties. My hands couldn't seem to find a
home, wanting to touch her everywhere. Squeezing her hips, I glide them to
the small of her back and slowly up her bare skin. She arches her back as I
make my way up, pushing her breasts onto my chest.
Groaning into her lips, I slip my tongue into her mouth, hers meeting
mine happily. My hands smooth down her side, squeezing her love handles
again, and make their way up to cup her breasts. They feel so heavy in my
palms, large and round and soft. I toy with her nipples, causing a mewling
noise to leave her.
I'm about to separate and take her nipples into my mouth when I hear,
"Ha- Oh god!"
Emma and I separate quickly, my hands moving to her back to keep her
pressed against me, so she isn't completely exposed. Out of the corner of
my eye, I see my couch blanket crumpled up near the armrest. Glaring at
the two people who just entered, Lu shielding her eyes with her arm cast
and Oliver turning back around, rushing back into the entrance, I grab the
blanket and cover Emma completely.
She's got her face buried into my neck, arms squished in-between us to
hide herself. I knew she was mortified, her face probably red as she cursed,
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." When she feels the blanket cover her bare back, her
hands grab on to the fabric, holding it tight against her body.
"Seriously?!" I say, clenching my jaw, annoyed that they walked in on a
private moment between us.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Lu was saying, Oliver still not in sight.
I ignored her, turning my head to talk to Emma, who finally lifted her
face out of my neck. She was exactly what I expected, face wincing and
red, meeting my eyes. They were glossed over like she got when she was
really embarrassed or anxious, and I could feel her heart racing, body still
pressed against mine.
"Angel, why don't you head upstairs and get changed." I suggest.
She nods, refusing to look at either of the two people who interrupted us.
She wraps the blanket more secure around her from her neck to her ankles. I
help her up, and watch her scramble up the stairs and out of sight.
"Okay, what the hell?!" I turn to face the other two.
"To be fair, I text you to let you know we were on our way." Lu said,
finally dropping her broken arm and looking at me, "Oli, you can come
back in."
Oliver walks back in hesitantly, eyes meeting mine, trying to hold his
smirk, "Sorry, mate, Lu said she wanted to come here first thing out of the
hospital."
I sigh, remembering I had left my phone upstairs and walked over to hug
Luanne begrudgingly, "I'm glad you're out of there, but you need to
remember it's not just me here anymore."
Her eyes widened, "Wait, did Emma move in?"
"No, she's staying here for a while, though." I tell them, leading them into
the kitchen so I can grab some water.
"That's exciting." She says excitedly, and I feel a little of my annoyance
slip away. "So things are going good between you?"
"They were until you showed up." I shoot back.
Just then Emma enters the kitchen wearing a baggy jumper that had a
high neck, and baggy jeans. I held back my smirk, knowing she was trying
to cover up as much of herself as possible. She meets my eyes, glaring
slightly when she sees the amusement in mine. Walking over to Lu, face
still tinged pink, she says, "Hey, Lu, how are you feeling?"
My sister gives her a hug, "Actually pretty good. Ribs are bit sore when I
move a certain way, and they said it would take a while to heal properly, but
other than that I'm alright." She then smirks, "How are you."
Emma groans, hands flying to her face, "Don't!"
And just like that, the tension broke and all four of us were laughing.
Emma came back to me, resting her forehead on my chest and hugging me.
Smiling widely, I say, "It's okay, angel. This was much more innocent than
the time I walked in on Luanne and one of her high school boyfriends."
"Oh god! Don't remind me!" Lu grimaced, "Literally right as I was losing
my virginity."
 "Scarred me for years. Nearly went blind." I winced, as well.
"Does no one in your family knock?" Emma asks, stepping away from
me.
Lu and I laugh again, and it's Oliver who answers, "No, they really don't.
Get used to it."
Emma chuckles, and changes the topic, "So what are you two doing
today?"
Lu looks up at Oli and shrugs, "Not much. A lot of resting, but I wanted
to go out for lunch and have some real food. I'm sick of hospital food."
"Want to meet somewhere?" She asks.
"Hey, mate, can I talk to you about something?" Oliver asks quietly,
sidestepping the girls while they figure out a time and place.
"Yeah, sure." I'm a little confused when he has me follow him out into
the living room, but follow nonetheless. "What's up?"
"Uh, well..." He takes a deep breath in, refusing to look me in the eyes, "I
wanted to ask you something. I guess- Uh..."
"Spit it out, Oliver."
"I want to ask Lu to marry me, and I wanted to, uh, talk to you about it?"
He says quickly, ending his sentence in a question like he wasn't sure
anymore.
My eyebrows skyrocket, not expecting this so soon. "Are you asking for
my permission?"
"Not exactly..." Oli says, "You could tell me no, and I'd still do it, but I
wanted you to know because you're my best friend."
I nod slowly, "Okay... Sorry, I'm a little shocked. I didn't expect this for a
couple years."
"Yeah, I know, I just-" he huffs out a breath, and says, "After the
accident, I sat there for hours thinking about what it would be like living
without her. I don't want to take another couple of years just to date. I want
her as my wife."
A small smile plays on my lips, and I respond, "You'll take good care of
her, mate. You've been in love for a long time, and you both deserve it."
He exhales in relief, causing me to chuckle, and hugs me, "Thanks,
Harry."
"Just don't fuck it up or I'll kill you." I warn him playfully.
He laughs, his tension from before leaving his body. We head back into
the kitchen to see the girls talking about something animatedly. Lu smiles
when she sees Oliver, her whole face lighting up. I smile to myself as Lu
says, "Okay, here's the plan: we're meeting them in three hours at Barker's
for lunch, and then we're all going to see that movie with the aliens that
everyone keeps talking about. It'll be a proper double date."
I chuckle, "Sounds good to me."
"Awesome! In that case, I want to go home and shower. I smell like
hospital." Lu jokes.
"Wait a sec." I say, holding my hand out. Lu's jaw drops and looks at me,
a silent conversation happening between us. "Lu..."
She huffs, an indignant look crossing her face, brings her keys out, and
starts to unravel my house key from her keyring. I wait patiently until she
puts it in my palm, rolls her eyes, and walks out, yelling, "See you at noon!"
I smile and shake my head, turning around and holding my house key out
to Emma. "Here." I say casually.
She just stares at it, brows furrowed until she looks back up at me, and
says, "What?"
"It's yours." I reply simply.
"You're giving me a key to your house?" She asks slowly.
I chuckle, "Of course I am, Em. You're staying here for the time being,
and I want you to have one regardless."
"Really?"
Smiling, I step forward, placing the key on the counter next to us, and
cupping her cheek, "Emma, I love you, and want you to think of this as
your second home. You're allowed here anytime you want. You don't even
have to text me to let me know you're coming over. In fact, if you just want
to stay here forever-"
She laughs, pushing me away, "Shut up!"
I join in on her laughter, following her out to the living room. I'm about
to sit down when she rushes off to the front hallway. I furrow my brows and
wait for her to return. When she's in sight, she asks, "None of your other
family members owns a key, right?"
I grin, realizing she just ran to lock the door, Nope."
"Good."
And as she walks towards me, her hands wrap around the bottom of her
sweater, pulling it off her body. My eyes widen as she strips out of her
clothes again, pushing me to sit down, and straddles my legs.
"Now where were we...?"
 She kisses me fiercely and pulls away, standing up for a second to strip
off my sweats and underwear. Hands finding her breasts agains, I say,
"What are you going to do, angel?"
"I'm gonna fuck you." Chills ran down my spine, and I feel my cock start
to thicken. "Just stay away from my bum. I'm still a little sore."
†††
"Harry, what are you planning for your birthday this year?" Lu asks
during lunch.
Shrugging, I say, "Not much. I was just thinking a dinner with all of us.
We've got mom and dad's anniversary coming up, so I'll see the family
then." My hand squeezes Emma's thigh. "Plus, I kind of want to spend it
alone with Em."
I see her look at me out of the corner of my eyes, a shy smile playing on
her lips. I squeeze her thigh once more, and feel her hand envelope mine,
her fingers resting in-between mine.
Luanne smirks, "That's cute."
I give her a look, rolling my eyes after, and turning to Emma, "I forgot to
ask, but did you want to come up with us for my parents anniversary?
They're hosting a party this year, doing a vow renewal and everything."
"Are you sure they want me there? That's kind of private isn't it?" She
says.
"They want you there. Mom's been bugging me about our plans for the
last week. Basically, demanded I drag you along." I joke.
She smiles wide, "Really? I'd love to go. Can properly meet your family.
Oh! And all your little nieces and nephews!"
Chuckling, "I can attest they will all be there. Plus extended family and
friends, too, so you'll be meeting everyone."
"Oliver will be there, so if you need a break just tag him in." Lu says,
leaning in to the table, "Our relatives are nosy fuckers, and will be
determined to get all the juice on both of you."
"Oh, so just like you then?" Emma smirks, raising an eyebrow at my
sister.
I lean back in my chair, pushing my plate away, "Yeah, not sure you're
one to talk, Lu."
"We can all ride up together." She says, ignoring the little jab, "It's a bit
of a drive, so we can play road trip games-"
 Oliver and I groan loudly, Emma looking between us, chuckling. We've
played enough road trip games with Luanne the past decade that we knew
exactly what it was going to be like.
"I think that sounds like fun!" Emma says unknowingly.
"You don't know what you're asking for, Emma." Oliver warns, "Lu gets
overly excited about "get to know you" games."
She pouts next to him, "Hey, you're supposed to be on my side. I'm
injured."
I breathe out a laugh through my nose, seeing Oli immediately soften up
and wrap his arm around her waist, saying, "I'm sorry, love. I am on your
side."
"Not in front of me, please." I request, blocking my view from the
suddenly soppy couple.
I hear Luanne scoff, "I don't think you have room to talk after what we
just witnessed."
"Okay, we were in the privacy of our home." Emma interjected, "You
walked in on us. Totally different."
I looked at Emma, smiling widely. I've heard her call my house home
before, but having her admit it in front of people was an entirely different
thing. She didn't even realize what she said, continuing to eat the chips off
her plate. Lu glanced at me, eyes wide, and big smile playing on her lips. I
knew she would be texting me about this later, so I just smiled happily to
myself. My hand moved to the back of her neck, fingers playing with her
baby hairs.
By the time we got back home, Emma had gotten quiet. I left her to her
thoughts in the car, knowing she was trying to work something out in her
head, but once we laid down on the couch, I needed to know.
"Em, angel, what's going on up here?" I ask, tapping at her forehead.
Instead of lying down, facing the TV, she had opted for chest to chest. I
didn't mind at all, preferring to see her face.
"You and Lu talking about your parents got me thinking about my mum."
She says quietly.
I sigh, arm wrapping around her back to secure her in place, "You haven't
talked to her since your fight, right?"
Shaking her head, she answered, "No. She's called twice, but I just send it
to voicemail."
 I'm silent for a second, figuring out the best way to handle this. Finally, I
ask, "Do you want to talk to her?"
"Yeah," she doesn't hesitate to answer, sighing, "I just don't know what to
say. She'll want me to meet with him, and I don't know if I want to."
"Okay, what's stopping you?"
"Huh?"
"What do you think is making you not want to meet with him?" I clarify,
watching her closely.
She thinks for a moment, "Well, he left. He didn't bother trying to contact
us at any point in the past, and now he's only trying to know us so he
doesn't feel guilty."
"But there's still apart of you that does want to meet him?" I guess.
She looks more uncomfortable, eyes not meeting mine, focusing in on
my chin when she answers, "It's stupid. I shouldn't want to meet him. He's
nothing to me."
"I think it's normal, though, to be curious." I interject, "Was there ever a
part of you that wanted to know him when you were younger?"
"I don't know." She admits, "I feel like I was so dead set on him not
wanting us that I just convinced myself that we didn't need him."
"Mhm..." I wait for her to continue.
It takes a while, but eventually she looks at me, "I got my eyes from him.
I always figured I did, because my mom has brown eyes, but seeing them...
It was... weird, I guess."
"Emma, I don't think it makes you weaker person wanting to know him."
I tell her softly.
"But what if he leaves again?" She rebuffs.
"What if he doesn't?"
Biting her lip, she asks, "So you think I should give him a chance?"
I purse my lips, thinking, "I think you need to really consider meeting
him. Not because you owe him or anything, but because I know you'll
always wonder if you don't. And so what if he leaves? You've got people
around you that love you, Emma. Your mom, me, all our friends, my
parents adore you."
She smiles at this, "True."
"You are so strong, angel. You deal with more shit than anyone I've ever
met, and somehow still have so much kindness in your heart." I comb back
her hair, tilting her chin up, so she can look at me. "And just because you
meet with him, doesn't mean you forgive him. If he wants you in his life,
truly wants you, then he needs to earn you. Talk to him. See what he has to
say, but make sure he knows he needs to do the heavy lifting with you. He
owes you, not the other way around."
"Is that what you would do?" She asks me.
"It's hard to say. I think, honestly, I would let my anger and stubbornness
get in the way. I would never meet with him. I would never get to know my
half sister." I pause before admitting, "And I would regret it."
"You would?"
Nodding, I say, "Yeah, I would wonder every day about that side of me,
and if he turned out to be an ass... well, at least I know for sure."
She doesn't say anything for a while, lost in her own thoughts. I let her
think in peace, knowing she would do what was right for her. Either way, I
would support her.
After about ten minutes of silence, my own eyes closed, head resting on
the pillow, as my fingers twist and tangle in my hair, she says, "I've always
wanted a sister."
Opening my eyes, I focus back in on her, "I know."
"What if she wants nothing to do with me? That's got to be weird,
suddenly hearing your dad had another daughter he left only a year before
she was born." She tells me.
"Maybe she always wanted a sister too?" I suggest.
Her eyes go big, "Fuck, what if he has more kids? Like a litter of them?"
I don't know what to say to that. I don't know what she needs to hear
exactly, I just know that when I'm stressed and confused the only thing I
crave is her touch, so I pull her in flush to my body, hand slipping up the
back of her jumper, and say, "Whatever comes your way, I'll be here."
Closing her eyes, she exhales, face leaning in closer, "Thank you."
"I'll always be here for you, angel." I tell her, pecking her lips.
She smiles briefly, then says, "You said you would go if I went. Did you
mean that?"
"Of course. Do you want me there?"
She nods immediately, "Don't think I could go through with it without
you there."
"Then I'll be there." I kiss her once more, short and sweet, before
jokingly saying, "If I'm subjecting you to the terror that is my entire family,
then it's the least I could do."
 She laughs, "I'm really excited about that."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm," her thumb glides along my bottom lip, "I get to see your
childhood bedroom."
"You do." I say quietly, "I should warn you that there's no lock on the
door, though."
She looks up at me, amused and confused, "Why?"
"Remember how I told you my mom walked in on me while a girl had
her hands down my pants?"
She bursts out laughing, head falling back. I smile at her, watching the
tension leave her body. Finally, she comes back, grinning widely, hand on
my cheek, "So you're telling me that we had all that phone sex when anyone
could've walked in on you?"
I shrug, "It was worth the risk."
Chapter Fifty-Four

HARRY
I felt her lips on my neck first thing in the morning, soft kisses leading
down to my collarbone. I stir a little, still half asleep, but enjoying the
feeling of her body weight on top of me. Her hands were rubbing up and
down my chest, as her mouth ventured south. A small smile began to form
on my sleepy face, blinking open to see her looking up at me before placing
a kiss above my bellybutton.
"Happy Birthday, Harry."
Her voice was low and groggy. I loved hearing the first words out of her
mouth in the morning. It was like a gift she only gave to me.
I grin, "What are you doing?"
She's making her way lower, the comforter slipping off of us, fingers
playing with the band of my underwear. Before answering, she attaches her
lips to my hip bone and sucks. I breathe out, loving the feeling of her
marking me, closing my eyes and just enjoying the moment.
"I'm giving you a present." She says coyly, hands pulling at my
underwear.
I lift my hips and let her pull down my boxer-briefs, "Think I'm really
going to like this one."
Emma doesn't waste any time by wrapping her lips around my head. I
had woken up with a semi, and it took no time at all to fully harden with the
way Emma was teasing me. I keep my eyes closed, head pressing into my
pillow at the feeling of her tongue swirling around the crown of my head.
Her hand wrapped around my base, lightly squeezing and pumping while
she focused in on my tip.
She always liked to do this. She drove me mad nearly every time,
working me up by only taking me further after I begged her to.
Miraculously, however, she sunk down, mouth taking more of me. I opened
my eyes to watch, her plump lips stretched out, more and more of my
length disappearing in her.
 It was slow, but perfect, the way she inched down, tongue gently
massaging the vein running along the underside of my cock. She didn't stop,
opening her mouth wider and moving to take me all the way to the back of
her throat. A strangled moan escapes as she swallows around me.
Morning sex in any way was one of my favorites. I loved it when we
explored and pushed each other's limits or spontaneously fucked on the
couch or made love late at night, but in the morning everything felt
heightened. I was still drowsy from sleep, so my mind was only focusing on
the feel of her lips wrapped tightly around my cock. The way she slid up
and popped off my tip, pumping her hand faster.
She smirked and flicked her tongue against my slit. I whisper a curse,
mesmerized by her mouth. It was warm and wet and oh so inviting. After
sucking on my head for a little longer, she tilted her head and started to
lower. She sucked all the way down the side of my length, tonguing at the
base, and kissed my balls. Gently, she took one in her mouth and sucked.
I held my hips down even though they were desperate to fuck into her
mouth. She got the hint from my scrunched up face, though, and returned to
my head. She bobbed up and down, her fist creating the same rhythm. The
sensation was making my cock tingle in anticipation and I felt my first bit
of cum start to leak out. She moaned around me, loving the salty taste, and I
couldn't help but buck into her.
I reached out to hold her head, a few shallow thrusts causing her to tear
up. She let me continue, though, eyes on mine, daring me. She cupped one
of my balls in her hand and gently massaged it, while I sped up my thrusts.
The feeling of hitting the back of her throat made my orgasm start to grow,
a tight knot twisting in my lower abdomen.
Suddenly, she pushes me down, holding my hips to the mattress, and
starts to bob her head quickly. Moaning out her name, I close my eyes
again, and let her take back all the control. Happily, she sucks and tongues
and pumps, occasionally deep throating me. The feel of her lips meeting my
base was exquisite, no girl ever taking me in fully before. I knew I was big,
so I never blamed them, but Emma had taken me so easily. It amazed me
the first time she did it, and I realized then how much she enjoyed it as well.
She didn't see blowie's as a job, just like I treated eating her out to be my
favorite meal.
Any type of pleasure we could draw out of the other felt like a prize. It
didn't matter that it was six thirty in the morning or we hadn't brushed our
teeth or had our morning coffee. In this moment, all she needed was for me
to feel good.
And I did. Fuck, I felt so good. Her mouth was so warm and she was
salivating all over my cock. She was enjoying herself, moans vibrating
down to my core. While one hand pumped my length, the other moved to
my hip. Her small hand gripped my side, while she sped up.
My mouth hung open as she worked me, tightening her grip and sucking
harder. I could hear her mouth slick up and down my length, and with one
final whimper I'm sent careening over the edge. My cum rushes up my cock
and into her mouth, filling it gloriously. She swallows quickly, allowing
another wave of cum to spurt into her hungry mouth.
I felt a little out of it, chest heaving, trying to catch my breath, when she
laid down my soft dick and crawled back on top of me. I smiled sleepily,
waiting for her lips, her cold fingertips finding their home on my neck. I
feel her breath first then her lips finally touch mine. She tastes like me,
causing that territorial, possessive part of me to purr in appreciation.
It's a short kiss, ending in a peck. I groan when she pulls away, and even
more when the alarm goes off.
"Let's call in sick." I suggest, making her giggle.
"I've got today off, baby." She reminds me. It was one of those Fridays
that school was out for the district, and there was no staff meetings needing
to take place, so she had a three day weekend. "And you've got to start
putting together those reports."
I pout, holding her close to me, "But it's my birthday."
She smiles at me, "Exactly, I want you to enjoy the whole weekend, and
not stress about the monthly reports."
"I'm already almost done." I tell her. It was true. I had managed my time
a lot better this month, and there were a lot less fewer mistakes made by the
departments. I was also in a much healthier place mentally, Emma affecting
my mood greatly, so I could properly organize everything the way I needed
it.
"And just think how good it will feel when you leave work today all
done." She leans down closer to me, "Think of all the things we can do for
your birthday this weekend when you're not having to finish your work..."
I grin, surprising her by flipping us over, so I'm hovering over her, "I like
the sound of that." I kiss her once more, but my alarm interrupts us again. I
groan out in frustration, head resting on her shoulder while I blindly reach
out for my phone. I turn off my alarm for good, and snuggle into her body.
She laughs, "Harry, you need to get up."
I shake my head, but she somehow slips out from underneath me. I fall
on my back, watching her when she starts to pull her underwear down. My
eye widen, "What are you doing?"
"Taking a shower. Are you going to join me?" She says before pulling her
top off, leaving her completely naked.
That's all it takes for me to jump up, pick her up bridal style, and march
us into my bathroom.
†††
I'm on my way out for lunch, meeting Emma at a deli when I see a note
placed underneath the windshield wiper of my car. I furrow my brows, but
pluck it off my window wondering what the flyer said. I unlocked my car
and started to unfold it as I sat down. One leg was still half out of the car
when I froze, my blood running cold.
You can't have her forever. She's mine. Enjoy her while you can.
That's what it read in sloppy handwriting. I look around wildly as if the
person who put this on my car would still be lurking around. It was obvious
who this was as I fumbled for my phone, slamming the door shut. With my
phone up to my ear, I called Emma. My leg was bouncing like crazy, and
my hands began to shake waiting for her to answer but she doesn't.
The moment I hear it go to voicemail, I hang up and call again, turning
the ignition on. My phone starts to fritz out as it connects to my bluetooth,
but when I hear Emma's voice through the speaker's of my car, I curse out
in relief.
"Harry? Everything okay?" She asks.
"Are you okay? Where are you, Emma?" I ask quickly, pulling out of the
carpark.
"I just parked my car and I'm about a block away from the deli." She tells
me, "What's going on?"
"Is anyone following you? Have you been at the house all day?" If Jake
had known what my car looks like and where I worked then there was about
a ninety-nine percent chance he knew where I lived, which meant Emma
wasn't safe there by herself.
"Harry, you need to tell me what's going on right now." She said
warningly, probably already sensing what had happened.
 "Um," I take a deep breath, and say, "Jake left a note on my car. It was..."
I shake my head, cursing when a car pulls out in front of me.
"Okay, I get it. You need to focus on driving. I'll wait outside the deli for
you." Emma says.
"No, no, it's not safe-"
"Harry, I'm on a crowded street. I'm as safe as I can be. How far away
are you?" She asks calmly.
"Maybe- Uh, maybe five minutes?" I had chosen the deli because it was
so close, thankful for my past self in this moment.
"I promise you I am safe, and I'll be right here when you arrive, okay?"
Her voice was soothing my nerves. Obviously, nothing out of the norm had
happened in the past several hours since I said goodbye to her on the
doorstep. She sounded perfectly healthy and composed whereas I was on
the verge of an anxiety attack.
It had been quiet the last week. Emma told me that Jake hasn't so much
as looked at her while at work, and Niall told me about the same when the
guys got together Wednesday night. Emma had talked to the detective the
other night, inquiring about her case, but he was having trouble finding any
working cameras in the vicinity of her apartment to try and place him at the
scene of the crime. Emma said she wasn't surprised, knowing that the ones
in her apartment building were just for show.
When I parked a street away, I rushed out of my car and paid the meter,
before quickly walking through the crowd. Emma was standing by the door,
glancing at her phone for a second before looking around. I was happy she
was staying aware of her surroundings, and when she saw me she started to
rush towards me.
Her eyes were moving over my body, settling on my face. I knew she
was worried about me panicking, which was completely fair, but I was
more worried about her. This was the sign we had been waiting for,
knowing things were too quiet the past few weeks.
"Harry..." She says when we're only a few feet away from each other. Her
hands cup my face the moment she's in front of me, eyes flicking back and
forth between mine, "See, I'm okay, baby. Nothing's happened."
I listened to her words, but I was still freaking out, "You locked the house
up, right?"
"Yes, I even double checked. I locked the door the moment you left for
work. I haven't seen Jake or his car anywhere." She tells me then asks, "Can
I see the note?"
Reluctantly, I hand it over. I know she needs to see it and she deserves to,
but I don't want her to worry any more than she is. She's been running every
night at the gym, joining Mike and I after an hour to train her more in self-
defense. She was trying to hide her growing fear from me all week, but I
could see through it.
I watched her as she unfolded the note and read it. She stared at it for
some time before looking back up at me, and saying, "Let's take this to the
police. This is Jake's handwriting, I know it."
"Okay, let's go. I'm driving."
She doesn't question me about getting back to work, probably knowing
that there was no way I was letting her do this alone. I take her hand in
mine after folding the note back up and putting it in my jacket pocket, and
walk her to my car. She offered to drive my car as I was still a little shaky,
but I needed to distract myself.
She kept talking to me the whole way, assuring me that she was going to
be okay, and that this was a good thing. She reasoned that this gave the
detectives something to work with. If they could prove it was him, then that
would be a credible threat. She was right. This very well could've been him
slipping up.
When we arrived at the station, I called Mike and let him know he was
taking an extended lunch break. We only waited for five minutes before
Detective Spencer came out to greet us, shaking our hands, and asking,
"What can I do for you two today?"
"I found this on my car when I was leaving for lunch at work." I said
immediately, scrambling to hand him the note.
He opens it up, reads it, and says, "Why don't we talk in my office."
He leads us through the station, sidestepping a few other police officers
and opens his office door for us. I let Emma enter first, my hand on her
lower back, and wait for him to close the door.
"You said this was found at your work?" He asks me.
Nodding, I say, "Yeah, it wasn't there at eight thirty when I left the house,
but when I walked over to the carpark it was being held down by my
windshield wiper."
He starts writing things down, asking without looking up, "And what
time exactly did you leave for lunch?"
 "Left my office at twelve thirty, so I was at my car by... twelve thirty-
five, what with the elevator and walking a block away." I answer.
"Can I get your work address and the carpark you parked in? I'll see if
they have any working cameras. I'll get this," he wavs the note around, "to a
handwriting analysis, and compare it to the note that Jake gave you before
the holidays."
Emma furrows her brows, "Wait, the note I gave to Lauren?"
"Yes, she gave it to us as evidence. Basically, to prove your relationship
in the case he tried to deny it all together. Neither of you have anything on
social media about the past relationship, so he might've thought to deny it
all together."
"What did it say?" I ask, wondering why it wasn't used to obtain a
restraining order.
He finally looked up, finishing his notes, and said, "Unfortunately,
nothing too damning. He was apologizing for treating you the way he did
and everything after, but he didn't mention any specifics, so I couldn't use
that against him." He adds, seeing my next question before I voice it.
"So where does this leave us?" Emma speaks up, arms folded and face
serious.
"Well, I'm still waiting to get our tech guy on your texts." He sighed,
"We've only got one on staff at the moment, and he was swamped with
another case that came in before yours. Hopefully, he'll be done with that
fairly soon, and we'll have more evidence against him. Couple that with
possible video proof of him leaving this note, and I think we could get that
restraining order. Depending on the judge, of course. Then we'll bring him
in for a long questioning and see if he breaks under the pressure."
"Um, one thing I'm worried about..." I start, looking down at Emma, "he
knew where I worked. He knew which car was mine-"
"You're worried he knows where you two are staying?" He finished my
thought.
"Yeah, I am. Emma's home alone for a few hours most days, because she
gets done with work before me."
"I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary, but it's clear he probably
saw us at the gym we go to, and followed us home." Emma adds, stepping
closer to me, hooking her arm under mine.
Detective Spencer nods, "I think that's a fair assumption, and I
understand why you would be worried. Has he been at work this week?"
 "Yeah, but he hasn't said anything to me." She tells him.
"Probably his lawyer's doing." Her mutters, "Okay, well, this is good.
This gives me something to go on."
"Can we head out?" Emma asks.
"Yes, and please let me know if anything - and I mean even the smallest
things - happen. Keep your eyes open." The detective tells us.
†††
"Can you text me every little bit just so I know?" I ask her.
I had driven her back to her car, and followed her home. Then I checked
the house just to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary. I knew it was
probably too much, but I didn't really care. Emma's safety was my highest
priority. I was glad she wasn't fighting me on it, letting do what I needed to
do to keep my anxiety down.
Her hands rested on my chest, and she leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss
me. She pulled away after a second, my arms wrapped around her to keep
her close, "Of course. I'm safe here, baby."
"I'll be home around six, okay?"
She nods once, "I'll be waiting for you."
"I love you."
Smiling softly, she comes close to my lips again, whispering back, "I love
you."
†††
True to her word, she text me a picture of her bored at the house every
thirty minutes. She had actually made me smile and laugh, saving each
picture to my camera roll. I had even changed my lock screen to a picture of
us while on a quick break. She called me about an hour after I got back, and
demanded I ate something, realizing that we both skipped lunch.
By the time I finished the reports and sent them off, I was surprisingly in
a good mood. It was only five p.m., and we still had a few hours before we
needed to be at dinner, our reservation at eight. I sent Emma a text letting
her know I was on my way, and by the time I got to my car she had sent me
a pic of her bundled up on the couch wearing my old uni jumper and a hot
chocolate.
I practically raced home, wanting to be able to hold her more than
anything. "Emma?" I called at the entryway, placing my keys, wallet, and
work bag down by the entry table.
"Baby?" I hear her voice call out to me.
 I round the corner into the living room to see her just as she was pictured,
knees up to her chest, book out, and a hot chocolate on the coffee table. I
smile at her, taking my jacket off, and head straight for her. She lies her legs
down, and let's me crawl in-between them. I kneel right in front of her, her
hands cupping my cheeks, and eyes inspecting me, "How are you, baby?"
"I'm good." I mumble, "Got all my work done for you."
She smiles, "No, you got it done for you." She brings me in for a quick
peck, "You're not worrying too much about me, yeah? How's your anxiety?"
I blink, never having been asked so directly before. I had been asked if I
was okay or alright, but never has anyone known me well enough to talk so
openly about my anxiety. She wasn't judging me or pitying me either, like I
had been so afraid of for years. She was caring and genuinely checking on
my mental health.
"Actually pretty good. You helped." I tell her honestly.
Her thumbs caressed my cheekbones, her eyes softening, "I was worried
about you."
I let out a deep breath, "Em, I'm okay, I promise. I was a little panicky for
a second-" She raises an eyebrow at me, "Alright, I was totally panicky, but
you helped me calm down. I loved those pictures you kept sending."
She grins, "You did, huh?"
"Mhm," I lean in for a more substantial kiss, murmuring against her lips
after we part, "I especially liked the one of you in the bathtub."
I feel her lips upturn, "Thought you would. I had a few other pictures I
was thinking of sending you, but they weren't exactly... appropriate."
I groan, "Can I see them now?"
"How about I show you in person, instead?" I'm nodding, leaning in to
capture her lips again, but her finger stops me, "Tonight."
I sigh out in frustration, "You're gonna make me wait that long?"
She laughs, "It'll be worth it, promise. Been saving it for you for months
now."
"Months?"
"Months."
I wonder what it could be, but before I can inquire further her face lights
up, "I can give you your other present now, though."
I sat back up, chuckling at her excitement, "Okay."
She reaches over for her phone, searching through it for a second, before
handing it over for me. I looked down at an email.
 "It's a confirmation email from that village we stayed at before
Christmas. I was able to get our same cottage, and they had it open the same
weekend that Sarah and Mitch are there. It's for a four day weekend in
July."
I stare at it for another second, a grin starting to form, "You got the same
cottage?"
She nods, "I liked it there."
I lean down and kiss her, "I love it, thank you."
"And don't forget we still have the Stones concert in May." She reminds
me.
"And the trip we're taking for your birthday in April."
She furrows her brows, "What trip?"
"It's a surprise." I tell her with a smirk, standing up and walking towards
the stairs.
"You can't just tease me like that!" She starts to follow me, grabbing her
phone, book, and hot cocoa.
"You mean like how you teased me with your other present?" I shoot
back at her, entering our bedroom.
She doesn't answer me right away, and I look at her while stripping off
my work shirt. I chuckle when I see her pouty face, setting her stuff down,
and sitting on the bed. She watches me get dressed into something more
comfortable, putting my work clothes in the laundry bin. I lay down next to
her, and she glides her thumb under my eye, "You look tired." She says
softly, "Why don't you take a nap? We've still got plenty of time before we
need to leave."
I just nod, feeling the exhaustion starting to hit me. My emotions had
been all over the place today, and any time I felt high anxiety, I got tired
after it came down. My body needed to recharge.
Emma lays down, stretching out her stomach, so I could rest my head
there. She knew my favorite way to take a nap was to rest on her, whether it
was her lap or stomach.
"Sweet dreams, babe. I'll be here when you wake up."
Chapter Fifty-Five

EMMA
I play with the rose ring on my right hand ring finger after I finish up
dinner. Everyone's talking and enjoying each other's company, four couples
at the table. Harry's next to me talking to Mike and Naomi about their baby,
and I can't help but smile at his questions.
I love how open he is about wanting a family. He's never hid that from
me, and has done nothing but show me how much he loves kids. It makes
me think of our future together.
For so long, I wasn't sure if I would get the big family I always wanted.
Anytime I was in a relationship with another person I catered to their
preferences. Especially with Jake. Jake didn't want kids, and I was seriously
going to settle with him. In my mind, as long as I got a wedding I could live
without children. He had convinced me that there was no one that could
possibly love me more than him, and if I left him I would get neither kids
nor marriage.
He was such a piece of shit.
I was so over whatever game he was playing. Suddenly, he wanted me
back. Now that he had seen he had no control over me anymore he needed
to stake his claim.
It pissed me off beyond belief that there were people out there that were
like this. Of course I had the luck to fall for one of them, but now that I had
Harry I was sure what love actually felt like. I didn't like that my old
relationship was such a major factor in this one. Harry deserves better, and I
realized that more than ever today.
I had spent most of the afternoon worrying about him and how he was
handling the stress. This thing with Jake was starting to affect his mental
health and it made me sick. I did my best to calm him, sending him cute
pictures of me throughout the day so he could have visible proof that I was
safe. I knew because of this last threat that he would be hard pressed to
leave me alone.
 That didn't much bug me, however. I'm pretty sure I could spend every
second of the day with him and never have enough.
I didn't want Harry to know, but I was less concerned with my safety in
the whole Jake situation than his. I had the sinking feeling that Jake didn't
just want me, but wanted to hurt me irreparably. Hurting Harry would do
that. He saw the way we acted together, and I could just imagine him
watching us leave the gym together, kissing each other every time we got
into our respective cars.
I could practically imagine him clenching his jaw at the sight of us.
Growing angrier and angrier every time a smile crosses my face.
Honestly, I got the impression that Jake needed serious mental help. I
wondered if he had always been like this, or if it was a newer development.
Sure, he was always a dick, but obsessive? That was the thing with us: I
was always the one hanging onto our relationship desperately, not him. He
had made it clear how little I actually meant to him.
Maybe it was just a possession thing. Like I was a prized treasure that he
put on the market, thinking no one would actually buy, but got sellers
remorse the moment Harry scooped me up.
But I did wonder why he was obsessive over me. He was letting Lauren
live her life without him even though she had been the one to break things
off with him. It made no sense why he was fixated on me.
"Hey, you okay?"
I looked up to see Harry watching me carefully, his hand encasing both
of mine. He must've seen how fidgety I was getting, knowing it was a tell of
mine.
I nod, "Yeah, just thinking about stuff."
"Like what?" He asked quietly, keeping our conversation as private as
possible.
"Just what happened today." I admit.
He frowned, a worried expression overtaking his beautiful face, "You
know I'll keep you safe, right?"
I smile sadly, "I'm not worried about that."
He looked at me for a second before answering, "Are you worried about
me?"
Forgetting where we were, I bring my hand up to cup his jaw, thumb
petting next to his ear, "I don't want you to get hurt because of me."
 "I promise you I won't." He assures me, even though we are both aware
he can't possibly make that promise.
I exhale a long breath, looking down at our hands, "I hate this."
"I know, angel, but we'll get through this. We always do." He says softly,
playing with the ring on my finger.
"I love you." I tell him, peering back up at him.
I watch as a small smile graces his face, "I love you, Emma. Can I get a
kiss?"
I breathe out a laugh, but nod anyways, pulling him in to take his bottom
lip in-between mine. I don't deepen our embrace, knowing we have an
audience, so reluctantly I pull away. Bringing my thumb up to his lips, I
wipe away my gloss. He kisses at my thumb, making me giggle and push
him away.
And just like that he made everything go away. I didn't think of Jake the
rest of the night. That uncomfortable feeling I had for most of the day had
disappeared. I wasn't going to let Jake ruin Harry's birthday. He was twenty-
nine, and I was determined to give him the best year yet.
When we were finally on our way home, I kept thinking of the present I
was giving him tonight. I knew when I saw it at that lingerie store months
ago that I needed to buy it for Harry. I couldn't wait to see his reaction to it,
and it struck me then how I wasn't nervous in the slightest.
The last time I dressed up for him I had been a nervous wreck most of the
day until I put it on my body. And even when I put it on the second time for
Harry to take pictures, it still took a moment to get comfortable.
But now I was itching to put it on. I wanted Harry's reaction like I was
starved for it. I wanted his hands to paw at me, and more than anything I
wanted him to take me like he was desperate for me. So when we got home,
I told him to wait downstairs until I called him up.
"What are you planning?" He asks me with a smirk.
"I've got to get your present ready." I tell him, wrapping my arms around
his waist and peering up at him.
"Can I at least get a hint?" Harry pouts, blinking his green eyes at me.
I laugh, "You'll see in about five minutes... maybe ten."
"Ten minutes?!"
"There's a lot of parts!" I playfully push him away, sneaking in a quick
kiss by fisting at his collar, and walk backwards, "Just depends on how long
it takes to put it on."
 I see his eyes darken, and I give him the most devilish smirk I could
muster before running upstairs and heading to our bedroom. I got the sealed
bag that I kept hidden from him in the closet, thankful that I had hid it at my
house too so it wasn't destroyed along with most of my clothes. The lingerie
itself was easy enough to put on, but the wings were a little tricky. The
straps needed to go on a certain way to ensure it wasn't crooked or slipping
off, and it was a little difficult to maneuver around myself.
Finally, I heard it click into place, and took one final look.
I grinned as I saw it in the body length mirror near the tub. I decided
against heels, thinking I looked more innocent without them. I had on thigh
high white stockings with lace bands wrapping around the middle of my
thigh. I was pleasantly surprised at how easily they stayed up without a
garter. My panties were a simple lace booty short adorned in intricate lace, a
small bow on the front. My bra was a babydoll style, breasts held up by a
firm band, causing my cleavage to look insane. While it was sturdy at the
bottom, the cups themselves were see-through lace with bands running up
and down almost like makeshift pinstripes. So you could see my already
hard nipple, except the actual bud, a thin stripe running down the middle. It
was an alluring tease, one I knew Harry would drool over. Hanging over the
lower half of my torso under the bra was a thin layer of the same delicate
lace as my panties. It hung on my body loosely, making me look extra
innocent.
The real kicker was the wings, shaped close to crescent moons framing
my back with real feathers. They were the definition of angelic, making me
look ethereal and pure. I adored them and how they made me feel, and how
I knew Harry would react when he sees me.
I had reapplied my lipgloss, and decided to add some body shimmer that
I had yet to try out. It highlighted my collarbone and neck gloriously and
dusted it over my face, actually making me look like I was glowing.
I took in a deep breath, and walked into the main bedroom to the door.
From there I called out, "Harry, I'm ready! You can come up now!"
I ran back into the bathroom, and half closed the door. I wanted to make a
grand entrance just like the last time. I heard him enter, calling out, "Am I
supposed to find you? Is that what this is?"
I smiled at the amusement in his voice, saying loudly so my voice carries
to him, "Nope, but that sounds fun. Put it on our list!"
"Like a sexy hide and go seek? I like that." He laughs.
 I grin widely, but decide it's time to get back to business, "Sit on the end
of the bed, baby."
I wait a second for him to do as he's told, a faint, "Okay, I'm ready,"
being called from the main room. I take one final look in the mirror, fixing
my hair, before opening the door and stepping into the bedroom.
Harry's eyes immediately darted to my figure, his smile slowly
disappearing as he took in my appearance. I watched as all the air seemed to
leave his body, back straightening, and eyes filling with emotion. I walked
toward him leisurely, studying his expression, one I don't think I've ever
seen before.
I could see the love and adoration clear on his face, but there was also
something so much more. He was speechless as his eyes roamed all over
my body, swallowing down his emotions, and letting a small gasp for air
escape his mouth. His hand reached out for me when I stood in front of him,
fist gathering up the material of the babydoll top at my side.
I let him take me in in silence, knowing he needed a moment to get his
thoughts straight. His other hand lightly skimmed over my thigh where the
thick lace band of my stockings end. Suddenly, it grabbed at the corpulent
flesh at the back of my thigh, and I felt everything he was feeling. He pulled
my knee up to the bed, forcing me to straddle his legs.
He was breathing roughly as he continued to stare at my body as if it
were a mirage, both hands now on my sides, squeezing them. I just sat and
watched, mesmerized by his reaction. I thought I knew what it was going to
be like, but this... this was so much more.
He was absolutely entranced by me in a way he's never been. I didn't
even realize this was possible, to be so loved, adored, and cherished by
someone. I actually felt my eyes gloss over, and when his eyes finally meet
mine, I was the one who lost their breath.
The look in his eyes were so hypnotizing that I felt lost. I felt like I had
been sitting in his lap staring at him for hours, a silent conversation
happening between us. The green in his eyes felt magnified, brighter than
they had ever been, whether that was due to the look of wonder or how his
eyes had also glossed over.
My hand came up to cup his face, thumb petting at his cheek. I tilted my
head, and smiled softly, "Baby..."
He closed his eyes, trying to gather himself, forehead coming to rest at
my cleavage. I combed my fingers through his hair, waiting for him to get
himself together. My heart was beating like crazy, feeling like this was a
new level of love we had unlocked.
I heard him take a deep breath, and lift his head, his hoarse voice
croaking out, "Angel..."
I breath out a laugh, trying to blink away my tears. I lean down, capturing
his bottom lip between mine. He immediately responds, deepening the kiss
by tilting our heads. His hand holds the back of my head, so I can't separate
from him, but I wouldn't anyways. I could feel how badly he needed this,
like it was the only water he had found in a desert full of sand.
Our tongues met, caressing each other, both breathing roughly through
our noses. Finally, he bit down on my lip and pulled away, letting it snap
back into place. I let out the smallest whimper, opening my eyes to see him
scrunch up his face as if in pain. I lean back to study him, his face relaxing
after a moment, and staring back at me like I'm a real angel.
"Do you like?" I ask him with a growing smile.
He looked at me with disbelief, a choked laugh escaping his swollen lips,
"Are you kidding me?" His hands begin to grope my body, never stopping
on one place for too long. "This is... fuck, angel, you are everything. You're
an actual angel."
A breathy chuckle leaves me, my cheeks now hurting from smiling so
hard, "I'm your angel."
He closed his eyes at my words, inhaling a deep breath. When he opens
them his eyes are darkened and dilated, "Mine."
"Show me." I whisper, leaning in again.
He surges forward to kiss me, this time much hungrier, needier than
before. I almost couldn't keep up with him as his hands roamed my body
gluttonously. I loved it, though, and I could tell he loved the idea of me not
being able to keep up. I knew in this moment that he was going to destroy
my body tonight. He would take every bit of pleasure away from me that I
was willing to give, and what he didn't know was that I was willing to give
everything.
His hands rubbed up my thighs, his moan reverberating against my lips.
Harry was a little obsessed with my thighs. He had admitted that one night
when we were just laying in bed, my leg hooked over his hip. I was never
one to have a "thigh gap" or small lean thighs, so to hear him say that was a
huge boost to my ego, and ever since then I had noticed all the times his
hands gravitated towards the meaty flesh.
 They slipped up further, feeling the lace of my panties, hooking a finger
into the band and snap it back to my skin. I whimper at the feeling, his lips
detaching from mine, and working along my jaw. I hang my head back, so
he has full access to my neck, nipping at my earlobe before dragging the tip
of his tongue down the expanse of my neck.
I fidget in his lap, becoming more and more impatient as he takes his
time. I want him to touch me, prove to me that he needed me like I needed
him.
And like he was reading my mind, his palm flattened against my stomach
and slipped into my underwear. He bit down on my shoulder at the same
time his middle finger stroked my folds, feeling the pool of arousal he
caused.
"Look at that." His hoarse voice broke through the panting and breathy
moans, "My angel is drenched."
I push my hips down for more, and answer, "That's what happens when
you look at me the way you do."
Our eyes meet, heated and destitute, my jaw slowly dropping at the
feeling of him pushing his finger into me. A shaky breath leaves me as I
rotate my hips, slowly fucking myself on his finger. The look on his face is
utter satisfaction. He had needed me to prove to him how much I needed
him, as well.
My hands grip either side of his neck, my shoulders tense as he starts to
thrust his finger inside me. Our foreheads meet, and he asks, "How do I
look at you?"
"Like you love me."
"I do." He says quickly, adding a second finger in, "I love you more than
I ever thought was possible."
"I love you." I breathe out, closing my eyes when he hooks his fingers
inside me and starts massaging the spongy bundle of nerves inside me. He's
slow and gentle with his movements, the pads of his fingers rough inside
me. He's building a powerful orgasm, watching me closely to see how I
react to every little movement.
He pulls his fingers out and travels to my clit to circle it. I inhale sharply,
head falling back at the intense feeling. I moan his name the second his lips
meet my neck. I'm lost in my own world of pleasure, sensual and slow. All I
feel are Harry's fingers and lips, his hot breath on my skin.
"Do you know why I call you angel?" He whispers.
 "Hmm?" Is all I can answer at a time like this.
His fingers circle back to my opening and push back into me, filling me
up. His voice and fingers making me even wetter now. "Because you saved
me."
I open my eyes at his words, lowering my chin to look at him. My hips
are still moving with him, but a serious look crosses my face, "What?"
His free hand underneath my flowy top squeezes my side, fingers curling
and quickly circling my G-spot as he says huskily, "You saved me, Emma.
Before you... there was just an empty void of nothing in my life." I lean in
closer to him, my eyes watering at his words. "I had no future without you.
Then you walked into the gym shower and stole my breath away. You gave
me a reason to breathe."
My face scrunches up in pleasure, his fingers thrusting and hitting my
spot harder. High pitched pants were leaving me as I was so close to my
orgasm, but my eyes wouldn't leave his. "Harry..." I breathed out
desperately.
"You were sent to me, Em. Sent to save me, give me a purpose." His dull
nails dug into my hip, and the sound of his finger slicking in and out of me
joined the sound of my pants and whimpers. "You're my angel."
His words spurred on my climax, white-hot fire soaring through my body
in waves. My walls were fluttering around his fingers while he road out my
high. My hips beginning to spasm as it became too much, lifting off of him,
my shoulders finally sagging in relief as the tension disperses.
I was breathing hard, eyes blinking heavily. His eyes didn't leave mine as
he lifted his fingers, drenched in my cum, and sucked them into his mouth.
His eyes fluttered at the taste, like he was tasting a rare delicacy.
When he popped them out of his mouth, I scooted in closer, hands
holding his face to mine, and whispered, "You saved me too, Harry."
Our lips crashed together, both of us moving in at the same time. Every
kiss of ours was more ravenous, our need growing within our depths. I felt
light in his lap, and it only proved my point when he picked me up and
turned us around so I was lying on the bed, and he was straddling my legs.
The wings were uncomfortable, pressed between the mattress and my
back, but I was too preoccupied with what his lips were doing to me.
Out of nowhere, his warmth left me, my eyes opening to see him stand
up and rip his belt off. His hands pulled at the blue sweater vest, throwing it
off his body, and quickly unbuttoning his white undershirt. I leaned up on
my elbows awkwardly, wings still in the way, and watched as his eyes
softened while he pulled down his wide legged trousers.
In just his boxer-briefs, he reached forward, holding my chin in his hand,
and said, "As much as I love the wings, darling, let's take them off. I want
you to be comfortable."
I smiled, kissing him hard before letting him move behind me, and start
fiddling with the straps. After about a minute of feeling him tug and unravel
things, I let out a laugh. He huffs in response, muttering, "How did you
even- Ugh, how did you put this thing on?!"
I'm shaking my head, cracking up, "I don't even know. Took me forever
to figure out."
"That's why it took you ages up here." He says, finally figuring out that
there were snaps as well as strings. "For fuck's sake."
I couldn't help the boisterous laugh that left me, my own hands reaching
behind me, tugging on a part I knew was one of the last things I had done,
"Think you have to undo this..."
His fingers worked the strap, unraveling it, and I hear something click,
the weight of one of the wings coming off. I hear a sigh of relief and then he
tries to do the same thing on the other side. It doesn't take him as long as
before, but something gets tangled, and there's more cursing and more
laughing. Finally, he pulls the wings off of my back, setting them carefully
on the floor.
I'm still giggling when he rounds the front again, looking down at me
sitting cross legged on the bed. A bright smile crosses his face, and he
laughs lightly, "That nearly killed the mood."
I shake my head, pulling him back on top of me, and lying down, "Never.
Our mood is never killed."
We're kissing again, and I can't get enough, my arms and legs wrapping
around his body. He's breathing roughly through his nose, embracing me in
every way. His hips move against mine, his cock trapped in his underwear,
but we're too busy with our tongues to get the rest of our clothes off.
Somehow, Harry drags us up the bed until my head meets a pillow, his lips
leaving mine and traveling south.
Closing my eyes, I feel him lick and bite and suck at my skin, hands
groping at my breasts and fisting at the fabric of my top. He unhooks my
legs from his back so he can continue his path down, murmuring
affirmations and declarations of love.
 My heart grows and my body warms at his touch, chest heaving and back
arching when he tongues at my covered slit. It's clear he wants me in every
way tonight, needing me to cum on his fingers, tongue, and cock. He
doesn't bother taking off my panties, just hooking them to the side and
diving in.
My breath catches and I let out a strangled moan as he latches onto my
clit, sucking and kissing at it. It's more sensual than usual, taking his time to
build up this orgasm just like the last time. My chest twitches and squirms
as he tortures my bud, hands gripping my hips, holding them down. All of
his focus is on my clit, ignoring my weeping hole.
I can't believe he gets me this worked up so fast. Not even five minutes
ago was I cumming all over his fingers, and now I was begging for another
release, feeling my arousal start to drip down to my other hole.
Just the thought of what he did to me last week brought me closer to my
second orgasm. Harry read my body like an open book, sucking my clit into
his mouth and flicking at it with a hardened tongue.
"Ah! Ha-Harry!" I cry out, hand flying to his hair as the other gripped the
sheets so tight my knuckles were white.
He didn't let up, circling and pressing down on the throbbing nerves as
the knot in my stomach twisted almost painfully. My muscles were tense,
rough pants leaving my mouth as I started to beg for my release. My words
breathy, whiny, and desperate as they escape. I feel Harry's hands tighten
their grip on my hips, burying his face even closer to me, mouth warm and
wet against my folds.
I start to twitch uncontrollably, squirming now as I'm flooded with more
white-hot pleasure. My last strangled call of Harry's name was cut off by
the feeling of him sucking at my sensitive clit. He slows down his
movements, dragging out my orgasm that feels like it's lasting for several
minutes. Finally, I pull at his head, not able to take the sensation any longer.
I'm floating.
Limbs numb,
Heart racing.
I'm smiling dumbly, the only real feeling is of Harry's lips and hands
traveling back up north, crawling up my body. I can feel his eyes looking
down at me, breath fanning over my face, so I blink open my eyes to look at
him.
 Our eyes meet, and I see a sweet smile above me, Harry's face flushed,
eyes blown out in bliss like he was the one that just had two orgasms.
I giggle, lifting my jelly arms and flinging them around his neck, "Happy
birthday."
He laughs, "Easily my best one."
"Oh, and why's that?" I play along, feeling delightfully loopy.
"Cause my angel's taking care of me." He mumbles, pressing a searing
kiss to my lips.
When he pulls away, I smirk, "Think you've been the one taking care of
me."
Immediately, he shakes his head, "Nope, you've got no idea how much I
adore watching you cum. Like a fucking dream. Heaven sent you down to
me just for that."
I hum against his lips, "Harry Styles, you've got a way with words."
I feel him grin, nipping at my bottom lip, "Need to make sure you know
how important you are to me. Won't ever let a day pass by without you
knowing. Wasted too much time as it is."
I look at him, "You're perfect." I whisper.
"Perfect for you."
His hand grabs at my thigh, squeezing and pulling it up to his hip, my
other leg following easily. I flinch as he cups my still sensitive core, but
pulls my lace panties aside and places his tip at my opening. I nod, our
noses nudging against each other, letting him know he could take me.
Pushing in slowly, her relishes in the feeling of my tight walls expanding
for him, only him. Bottoming out, he lets out a pained groan, finally getting
some relief for his aching cock. He wastes no time in thrusting in and out,
keeping his body flush against mine, the lace fabric rubbing against his
naked torso.
One hand comes up to cup my covered breast, groaning again, "Need
more time with this."
I nod again, "We can have another photoshoot."
"You liked that?" He asked, thrusting hard into me, making my whole
body lurch up.
"Ah! Y-yes, loved it." I tell him.
He doesn't answer, only smirks, and quickens his thrusts. I'm bobbing
beneath him, the sight making his eyes grow starved. The feeling is
impeccable, my senses heightened from my previous orgasms. When we
make love it's with our whole being, not just our bodies. Our hearts and
souls fuse together as one, never having to truly speak to know what the
other needs or wants. Yet we find ourselves speaking... breathing out our
names simply because we know it's needed.
The sound of my name - or nickname - leaving his lips makes this all the
more pleasurable. The fact that my name will be the only one he moans and
whimpers out, spurring on my orgasm. Harry will never say another name
like this again. I'm his forever.
He lifts up, arms reaching up to take hold of the headboard, putting more
of his weight on his knees, and starts to pound into me. The sheer force
makes me scream out in pleasure, eyes closing tight, trying to hold myself
together as he tries to fuck me to pieces. Once again, I'm squirming as my
orgasm builds, but I hold it back. I want this one to explode within me, keep
me high and floating in the clouds until tomorrow morning.
I know in this position, at this speed and force, I won't last, so my hands
grab at him, bringing him back down to me, a look of surprise crossing his
face. I don't let him even get a word out before I push him off me, flipping
him onto his back. I furrow my brows, noticing he never took off his boxer-
briefs, instead just pushing them down to his meaty thighs.
"Need you naked." I mutter, hands pawing at his underwear. I hear him
laugh as I tug them down and throw them over my shoulder. I crawl on top
of him, asking, "Sure you don't want me to take all this off?"
He shakes his head in a daze, "Just a little longer, angel."
I smile, "Okay, baby."
Reaching underneath me, I pull my panties to the side again, and lower
myself onto his glistening cock. I don't take my time as he does, my orgasm
at bay now that he wasn't jackhammering me into the mattress. Instead, I
sink down quickly, causing him to tense, grab my hips, and curse, "Fuck!"
I rotate my hips in circles, watching his face, and ask, "How does this
feel?"
"Oh god..." He breathes out, hands moving to rub up and down my
thighs, "You have no idea. It's actual heaven." He slurs out.
I breathe out a laugh, tilting my head, and placing my palms to his chest.
Bouncing up and down, I ask again, "And this?"
He murmurs something I can't understand, eyes closed and head falling
back lazily into the pillow. I speed up, pinching at his nipples, "I didn't quite
hear that."
 "I love you." He cries out, "I love you. I love you. Oh, please, angel, fuck
me."
So I do. I fuck him hard, grinding down on him, lifting my hips up,
teasing him once I only have his tip emerged in my folds. He lets me
control everything, though, never grabbing at me, setting the rhythm or
bucking into me. I lean more of my weight on his chest, slamming my hips
down onto him repeatedly, the sound of our skin slapping mixing with our
pants and cries of ecstasy.
His hands move suddenly, and I look down to see his eyes open, a
desperation in them I wasn't expecting. His hands move to my chest,
cupping my breasts, pulling at the fabric to get it off my body, "Need to see
you. Off. I need this off." His voice is sturdy, but hoarse, practically making
me cum on the spot.
I reach behind me, unhooking the babydoll top easily. I feel a little
relieved to take it off, my breasts able to breathe. He moans out in
appreciation, hands groping at the succulent chest. I cover his hands with
my own, joining in on his groping.
"Angel..." He whispers, "Fuck, angel..."
He pinches my nipples, making me cry out in a pained pleasure, and he
finally starts to buck into me. Our hips meet roughly, speeding up to a
mismatched tempo, but it feels more real this way. Like our passion and
need is too much to be smooth. It's desperate and needy and it only takes,
takes, takes.
My head rolls back, and I feel my orgasm creep up to the edge again, but
before we get a chance to fall off together, I'm thrown onto my back,
bouncing on the bed at the end of the mattress. My eyes are wild and wide
as I watch Harry stalk towards me like an animal stalking its prey. He tears
my stockings off, and then reaches for my underwear, the last bit of fabric
covering me.
When I'm completely naked, I spread my legs so he has a perfect view of
my throbbing pussy. I feel myself dripping and clenching around nothing,
and can see his need grow in his eyes. He doesn't stuff me full of his cock
again, no, instead, he lays back down on his stomach, grips my thighs, and
pulls my core right to his face.
His tongue dives into me, moaning immediately. He pulls back, breathing
hard, "Can taste myself. Can taste us." He bites down on my inner thigh,
sucking at it to create a love bite. "Can't get enough of you."
 "You're a greedy fucker, aren't you?" I ask cheekily.
He grins, eyes lighting up, "You have no fucking clue."
This time our eyes stay locked, heated and intense as he eats me out,
rougher and more passionate than before. He spreads his time between
fucking me with his tongue and playing with my clit. I still haven't fully
recovered from my first two orgasms, my clit sensitive, but I push my
limits, tears building at my eyes. The feeling is so intense, and I let one
drop as he brings out a third orgasm.
He doesn't drag it out like before, though, crawling on top of me, cupping
my cheek and wiping the stray tear. "My angel." He whispers, "Do you
need a break?"
I'm shaking my head quickly, "No, no, no, need you." I beg, "Need you
back in me. Want your cum, baby."
I'm working myself up, but he just calmly shushes me, "It's okay, it's
okay. I'm gonna take care of you. Your baby will takes care of you."
"My baby..." I repeat breathily.
"Yours."
"Mine."
My back arches as he pushes in again, burying his face in my neck,
gasping for air, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, you're even tighter, holy hell."
I'm nodding, head falling back in a daze. I feel so overstimulated, but I
want more. I want him to torture my body, and use it for his own pleasure. I
mumble, my hands playing with his hair dreamily, "How did I find you?"
I hear a small chuckle, "How did I find you."
I smile, pulling him up to kiss me, "I love you. With every fiber of my
being, Harry."
The mood intensifies with my words, a whole knew atmosphere
surrounding us, "I love you, Emma. Don't-" I open my eyes, to see him
looking down at me with fear. "Please, don't ever leave me."
My brows furrow, heart beating painfully, "Never. You'll always have me.
Don't you leave me." I warn him.
His lips upturn, forming a large grin, "Impossible."
"Good." I want the mood to lighten a bit, so I purposefully clench down
on him making him curse out, and tell him firmly, "Now fuck me, Harry.
Fuck me likes it's your birthday, and I'm gifting you my body."
His eyes darken, a devilish look passing through, as he smirks and says,
"Hold on to me tight, darling."
 And with that, he's pounding into me, no buildup, my walls already
spasming and clenching. He doesn't spend too much time in this position,
pulling up to kneel, grabbing at my hips and holding them to his hips off the
mattress.
There's a split second between us, without movement, where I'm looking
at him with wild eyes, knowing this position was surely going to end me.
And then he was fucking me mercilessly, thrusting and pulling my hips to
his. The force knocked the air out of my lungs, and I was immediately
thrashing on the bed. He was grunting out words of encouragement, living
for my strangled cries and tears flowing down my face.
He didn't let up, torturing me like I had been begging him to. His biceps
clenched, showing off his impressive muscle, as he held on to me, thrusting
me back into him. Sweat was dripping off his forehead and chest, and he
was breathing hard. Clenching his jaw, determination set on his face and he
refused to slow down, even though I could see the exhaust starting to set in.
He moaned in relief when I clenched down hard, causing his thrusts to
become sloppy and uncoordinated. It felt rawer than it ever had before, so
when he whimpered out my name, "Emma," in a plea for me to cum, I
obeyed.
It was like nothing I ever experienced before. This was a different type of
orgasm. Almost like there were several, one right after the other. My whole
body clenched, back arching and turning in ecstasy. Hands fisted at the
sheets, and my legs tightened, refusing to let him leave my folds.
Vaguely, I felt him start to cum, but my own high was too powerful. I
was entranced in the feeling of relief. I don't know how long it lasted, my
brain turning to mush. I felt pressure on my body, obscurely aware that
Harry had collapsed on top of me.
It could've been minutes or hours when I finally opened my eyes. My
head lifted for a second, feeling too heavy to keep up for too long, but just
long enough to see Harry's head lying on my stomach. He must've pulled
out at some time, making me think that we had been in this in-between state
for a while, because Harry liked to stay inside me for a long time.
I didn't feel like there was a mess between my thighs, either, and I was
sure that Harry must've also gotten up and cleaned me up. My hand
absentmindedly found his hair, slightly sweaty from our workout. He
hummed in enjoyment making me smile lazily. I felt him lift his head up
and rest his chin below my breasts, and say, "How's my angel?"
 My heart grew, falling in love with him even more in this moment. I
muster up all my strength and lean up on my elbows to look at him
properly. He looked just as fucked as I did, letting me know he experienced
the same earth shattering orgasm. Probably the only reason I was so out of
it was because Harry had given me four earth shattering orgasms.
"I'm perfect." I answer, "Although, I'm feeling rather selfish. You had to
take care of me on your birthday. I should've been the one-"
"None of that, darling." He interrupts, moving to lay in his side next to
me, "There's nothing I wanted more than to do what we just did. That
was..."
A grin slowly spread across my face, "Really good."
"Fucking awesome."
I laugh, falling back down on the bed, Harry combing the hair out of my
face gently. I take his hand from my hair and kiss his palm, "If I would've
known you were gonna fuck me like that then I would wear lingerie more
often."
It was his turn to laugh, "God... You looked so beautiful. I've never seen
anything like it."
I feel my face warm, my shyness creeping back in, "Yeah?"
Adoration filled his eyes as he looked down at me, "I feel like I owe you,
though."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, maybe I should wear lace next time." He suggests cheekily.
I burst out laughing, rolling over and burying my face in his chest. "You
would look great in lace."
"I know."
I roll my eyes, but meet his eyes, the green in them as vibrant as ever,
"Harry..."
His smile dropped, that serious vibe returning from earlier, "Yeah?"
I take a moment, my fingers tracing his sharp jaw before whispering, "I
have to pee."
His lips press together, trying so hard not to break, but a boisterous laugh
escapes him. I giggle, and he unwraps his arms from around me, "Alright, I
guess I'll let you go."
"There's one problem."
He raises his eyebrows, "And what's that?"
 "I think you fucked all the feeling out of my legs." He starts to laugh, but
I press on, "No, I'm serious! I really don't think I can walk on them right
now."
"I guess I'll just have to carry my angel then." He sighs playfully. "By the
way, I plan on getting you back in that getup at some point to take some
pictures. Gonna have to get them framed and hang them up."
My jaw drops, and I push his shoulder making him laugh, "You are not
hanging any such pictures in our house!"
And the bright smile that graced his face was one I would remember until
the end of time.
Chapter Fifty-Six

EMMA
"We've got to wake up, babe."
I shake Harry lazily, still half asleep from our long night. His alarm is
blaring, and I'm too sleepy to try and reach it.
"I don't wanna." He mumbles into the pillow, an arm pulling me closer to
his body.
Despite my words, I snuggled into his warmth, pecking my lips along his
collarbone. He hums and half rolls on top of me making me giggle
underneath him. It's would all be very serene if that damn alarm wasn't
going off.
"Harry, if you don't turn that alarm off, I'm never having sex with you
again." I deadpan, voice slightly muffled by his body.
He laughs, chest rumbling on top of me, "Okay, okay, can't have that."
He rolls off of me and reaches his arm over to the nightstand. Unplugging
his phone, he turns the alarm off, and sighs, "We've got an hour to be at the
restaurant."
I pout, "Remind me again whose idea it was to go to brunch the morning
after your birthday."
"Sorry, it's tradition." Harry forces himself up on his elbow, "Been doing
it since I turned eighteen."
"Weren't you hungover?" I ask.
"Oh, yeah it was awful." He answered quickly, "Puked in the restroom
when we got there."
I grimace, "Gross."
He just shrugs, "Best French toast I've ever had, though."
I laugh, finally sitting up, rubbing at my eyes, "Want to conserve water?"
A grin forms on his face, eyes still a little puffy, making him look soft
and adorable, "Got to help the environment."
†††
By the time we were in the car, light makeup and a messy bun, we were
running about five minutes late. Neither of us cared that much, though,
preferring our activities in the steamy shower too much.
We parked a few blocks away, ambling up the street, hand in hand. "I've
never been here before." I tell Harry when we turn the corner.
"It's a bit of a hole in the wall. A lot of families stay away because of the
twenty-four hour strip club across the street, but it's got really great service
and food so we made it our go-to for after-birthday celebrations." Harry
tells me.
I glance to the other side of the street where there is a surprisingly
popping strip club. A neon light flashing at us saying they've got fully nude
girls any day anytime. It definitely looks a little a little seedy.
"You ever been inside?" I ask him curiously.
"That one? No," he shakes his head, "heard rumors that they have a huge
cocaine problem. Not my scene."
"So you've been to others?" I raise an eyebrow.
He looks down at me, moving closer to my body while another couple
passes us on the sidewalk. "Yeah, I have. Been quite a long time. Not the
biggest fan of them in general, but Mike's brother was his best man and
planned the stag do. Made us all go to a strip club in London."
I smirk, "You make it sound like you were forced at gunpoint."
Harry chuckles, "I mean, it definitely wasn't what any of us were hoping
for. Made me feel a little... dirty."
I nod, "Dirty, but not in a good way."
"Exactly." Harry says, then leans in to my ear to whisper, "You're the
only dirty I want."
I can't help but burst out laughing, smacking Harry's shoulder. He was
smiling widely, glancing down, eyes glued to my lips. We step up to the
door, and immediately see our group of friends.
I wave at them, while Harry asks Oliver, "I thought we were running
late."
"Well, we all forgot that Lu usually makes the reservation, but she was in
the hospital and forgot to do it. It's only a thirty minute wait time." He
answers.
Harry nods, "Cool, I'm gonna use the restroom while we wait." He tells
me.
"Yeah, I'm gonna join you." Mike says, standing up from a chair next to
Naomi.
"Me too." Oliver adds.
 I smile, amused at them all going to the toilet together. Maura laughs,
"Thought it was the girls that always went to the restroom in packs."
"I'm gonna step outside for a moment." Naomi says.
"You okay?"
She nods, "Yeah, just a little warm. I've been getting these hot flashes
every once in a while."
I open the door for her, "I'll join you."
We step outside, the air crisp, but I just bundle up in my coat and Naomi
sighs, "Never thought pregnancy would be this annoying. Thought I would
be the glowing type that loved the feeling of growing a human in their
stomach."
I laugh, "How's the morning sickness?"
"Morning sickness?" She laughs without humor, "More like all-day
sickness. I literally will randomly puke at like three in the afternoon."
I wince, "Well, I think you're glowing."
She gives me a look, "You're too nice."
Laughing, I say, "Just wait until you start showing. You're going to be
ecstatic."
She immediately looks brighter, "Can you imagine how Mike's going to
be? He'll never not be touching my bump."
"He's so cute. Him showing you off in the club when he found out was
the most adorably soft thing I've ever seen."
"You should've seen him at our wedding." She tells me, "I wish we knew
you back then. You would've looked stunning in my bridesmaids dress."
I smile, "Could've used you guys back in the day. Had some shit friends
before you lot."
She looks at me, "Well, you have us now. And you really have Harry."
She adds teasingly after a seconds pause.
I pressed my lips together, trying to hold back my smile, and shook my
head, "Shut up."
"You guys are..." She gives me a look, "something."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I laugh.
She just shrugs, "Nothing." It's my turn to give her a look. "You guys act
like a married couple already."
My face feels warm, but before I could answer my eyes land on the
stumbling man making his way across the street towards us. My smile drops
when I realize he's heading straight for me.
 "Emma, are you okay?" Naomi asks, her hand resting on my arm.
As Jake comes closer, clearly pissed out of his mind, I turn to her,
"Naomi, go inside and get Harry."
"What?"
"Go inside and get Harry." I repeat firmer and slower.
She looks at me for a second, glances at Jake who has cleared the street,
and walks into the restaurant. My heart was pounding, but my head was
staying clear and logical; Jake might be drunk and angry, but we're in a
crowded place and I have people and witnesses if this turns ugly.
Breathe.
"Emma!"
I back away as he stumbles to a stop a few inches in front of me. He
looks awful. Like he had been out all night, bags under his eyes, clear
stench of stale alcohol wafting around us. But he's not looking at me in
anger. No, it's a clear sadness in his eyes.
I furrow my brows, glancing at the door to check if Harry was coming
out. There was no sign of him, so I turned my attention back to the man in
front of me.
"Why did you leave me?" He asks, voice croaking.
I'm momentarily stunned, not expecting anything like that to leave his
mouth. "Uh, what?"
"You left me." He says, brows bunched up on the middle, "Why did you
have to leave me. We were forever."
"Jake, you broke up with me." I told him, confused by his words.
"No," he was shaking his head, eyes tearing up, "no, I never meant-
Baby, we were meant to be." He steps forward, my back hitting the wall of
the building. I hear the door opening, Maura peeking her head out, stepping
outside cautiously as she views the scene. My attention was pulled back to
Jake when his hands grabbed my head, and he crashed his lips into mine.
The taste was disgusting, a mix of things I didn't even want to think
about, trying desperately to push him away. I pursed my lips and tried to
turn my face away from his to get his lips off mine, but his hold was too
tight. My body was stunned, shocked by his actions, arms not strong
enough to get out of his hold. I panic for a second until he's ripped off me, a
loud slap heard over the ringing in my ears.
My eyes widen, realizing that Maura had pulled him off me and slapped
him, Jake now holding onto his cheek. I see his eyes turn to rage, staring at
the taller, Irish woman who was glaring back at him with just as much fire.
There's a moment where I can see it happening clearly before me, but my
body seems to act on its own, pushing Maura out of the way, and getting in
front of the flying backhand. The sting in my cheek was astonishing, more
power behind it than I thought was possible.
I hear commotion around me, a set of hands gripping the arm attached to
the hand clutching at my cheek. I blink heavily glancing over at Jake, being
pulled back by one if his friends. Marcus looked shocked himself, probably
not expecting Jake to ever do something like that.
It was like everything was moving in slow motion, and I saw Jake clearly
for the first time since he ran up to me. There was something off.
Something more than his usual drunkenness or mental health. His face
looked skinnier, sunken, and pale, eyes a scary black, pupils dilated nearly
to the edge of his irises. It hit me that he wasn't just drunk. He was on
something.
That made everything much more dangerous. He had zero self control in
this moment, clear by the way he was fighting Marcus.
But he stilled and I heard the voice that I had been hoping to hear this
entire time.
"You son of a bitch!" Harry's voice came out furious and deadly, scaring
even me.
He's charging straight at Jake, and I see Jake shifting into something even
worse than before. He's deranged as Harry stalks up to him, and I feel every
bit of fear pulse through me. I could see in Jake's eyes that he was out for
blood.
I broke away from Maura's fussing, running to catch up to Harry, so I
could stop the oncoming battle. There was no way I could let Jake hurt him.
"Harry!" I shout at him as I get closer.
His head naturally turns to me, making sure I'm okay. I grab his arm and
pull him back, "Harry, stop, please." I plead with him.
His hand cupped my cheek, the one aching from the back of Jake's hand.
I flinch slightly, my cheek a little bruised, and I watch as Harry's eyes turn a
dark shade of green, closing in on black. He's shaking with fury, and turns
back around to continue his assault on Jake. Jake frees himself from
Marcus's hands, zeroing in on Harry.
"Stay the fuck away from her!" Harry bellows out, causing shivers to
form up and down my body. I stay behind him, but keep my hand fisting the
back of his shirt.
"You stole her from me!" Jake yells back, pushing Harry back, making
me stumble back as well.
Harry's hand flies back to grab onto me, but he keeps his front to Jake.
He tries to get me to drop my hold on him but fails. There's no way I'm
letting him out of my reach.
Out of my peripherals, I see Oliver and Mike race up, Marcus trying to
get ahold of his friend again. Mike tries to get me behind him, but I stop
him, giving him a glare telling him to back off.
"She's not fucking yours! Stop harassing her!" Harry grabs him by the
front of his shirt.
Immediately, I move around him, pushing them apart. I can see Oliver on
the phone with someone right now, but barely pay it any attention, now
looking up at Harry.
"Baby? Harry, baby, look at me." I say as calmly as possible.
"Get behind me right now, Em-"
"Listen to me!" I urge, his eyes still on Jake who had finally been pulled
back by Marcus. Mike had made his way in front of us, blocking me from
the struggling man.
"Emma, get out-" Harry tries again, his whole body shaking, but I cut
him off yet again.
"Baby, please," I choke out, now getting close to tears, "don't do this."
His eyes glance down to mine, finally, pure anguish radiating off of him.
I can see him battling with himself, the urge to get his hands on Jake
fighting against his nature to take care of me. I knew I was fighting a hard
battle, the fact that Jake had officially laid his hands on me, tipping him
over the edge.
"Baby..." I whisper, cupping his face and bringing his forehead down to
mine.
"Angel..." He whimpers, closing his eyes to try and get control of his
anger. His hands grip my sides, fisting at the fabric of my coat.
I hear more shuffling going on behind me, hoping it was a good sign, but
my heart plummets when I hear Jake's deranged voice, "Stop touching my
girlfriend!"
Harry's eyes shoot open, looking up, eyes flashing with fear before
pushing me behind him. Jake was running towards us, rather incoherently -
whatever drugs he was on fully taking over him. He trips over something
letting Mike and Marcus hold him back successfully, but that doesn't stop
Harry from marching up to him, and grasping his jaw in one hand.
"I said stay the fuck away from her." His voice was low and murderous,
the only thing keeping me away this time. "You don't deserve her. She
doesn't want you anymore, so leave us alone."
There was a long pause, breaths being held by more than one person, as I
watched Jake's face darken. His body stopped fighting against Mike and
Marcus, making Marcus loosen his hold.
"No!" I yell suddenly, watching in slow motion as Jake's arm reared back
and flew into Harry's jaw.
I rush forward again, but this time Oliver stops me, still on the phone,
"The assault is escalating." He was saying calmly. The back of my mind
pieced together him calling someone at the station, but I tuned him out,
trying to get out of his hold.
Harry barely reacted to the punch, lurching forward to ram Jake to the
ground. Marcus falls with him, Mike standing, shocked at what's
happening. Harry's on top of Jake, and all I can see are his elbows rearing
back and punching his face, but then Jake somehow brings his leg up to hit
Harry in the balls.
It's all happening so fast, Harry groaning in pain and being pushed off
Jake. Marcus helps him up, but Jake pushes him away as well, aiming a
kick into his stomach. I see Jake reach behind him where I know he keeps
his pocket knife, and my life flashes before my own eyes.
I cry out again, wiggling my way out Oliver's grasp, rushing forward to
push Jake back. My ears are ringing the only real sound I'm hearing is the
heavy beating of my heart. My hands lurch forward again, palms making
contact with his chest. I just keep pushing him back, my hands coming
down harder and harder every time until I'm literally punching his chest.
"Stop!" I hear my voice yell, "Don't you dare fucking touch him!"
And then Jake's suddenly standing his ground, grabbing onto my hands
still pressed to his chest. He leans in, saying lowly, "You belong to-"
He doesn't finish that sentence before my open palm makes contact with
his cheek, snapping his head to the side. There's no response, though, arms
circling around me, picking me up off the ground and pulling me away. I'm
still pissed and seeing red, struggling against the body taking me away from
Jake, picturing him kicking Harry while curled up on the ground.
 I'm so consumed in my anger that I don't even realize that it's Harry
who's carrying me away, grunting into my ear, "Angel, I need you to stop
fighting me."
I shake my head, watching Marcus drag a stunned and strung out Jake
out of the parking lot. He's getting away, and all I can think about it
somehow he's going to get off with no consequences like he always does.
My feet hit the ground, Harry finally letting go of me. I whip around,
glaring at him to find him even angrier with me. He brings me in for a hug,
though, holding me tight against him before Oliver interrupts, asking, "Em,
who's the detective assigned to your case?"
My eyes flicker towards him, "Uh.... DI Spencer."
He repeats that name into his phone, saying a few more things and then
ends the call. Glancing back and forth between mine and Harry's tense
bodies, he says, "Police should be here in a minute. They'll take your basic
statements, as well as witness statements. Spencer is on his way too, since
he's in charge of your case. Emma, are you okay?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." I say quickly, looking at Harry, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He grunts out.
Jake's punch didn't seem to do much, just a little swollen and red at the
bottom of his lip. I reach up to graze my thumb along it, Harry's eyes
softening as he stares down at me. He takes hold of my wandering hand,
and places soft kisses to my palm. I exhale a long breath and close my eyes,
Harry's arms wrapping around me and pulling me close again.
"I'm still so mad at you." Harry grumbles into my ear.
I furrow my brows, pulling away, ready to a fight him, but just then two
police cars pull into the parking lot. We spend the next hour answering
questions, two different police officers making me repeat the full story and
then asking Harry his version of events. I could sense the anger emanating
off of him, only growing by the minute.
He would shake his head, scoff, and turn away when I would retell the
story, especially when I got to the part where he forced himself on me. I
knew exactly why he was pissed - not just mad that Jake had hurt me - and
it only made me angrier. I wished we could've talked it out before the police
arrived, because it would probably had gone smoother, but now we had a
full hour to stew.
My mind was racing with different outcomes, all ending with Harry
actually hurt or worse. The look in Jake's eyes was something I had never
seen before, not just from him but from anyone. It scared me that this
wouldn't be enough to stop him. In fact, I was scared it would push him
further.
I felt bad that this happened in front of everyone too. Maura had literally
put herself in harms way for me, but the idea of any of them getting hurt
because of me was too much.
"Emma, Harry!" DI Spencer jogged over to us when he arrived. "Are you
two okay?"
I just nod while Harry answers, "We're fine. What does this mean for the
case? Surely, it proves everything Emma's been saying."
"It definitely helps, but I was hoping to bring you two down to the station
to talk more in depth about it all." He tells us.
"Yeah, okay." I say defeatedly. I was so sick of going to the station. I
have spent hours upon hours there, and the more I brought Harry into this
the guiltier I felt.
I felt Harry's arm wrap around my waist and his lips meet my temple. I
was grateful that even though we were both angry and gearing up for a fight
that he was willing to make me feel better in this moment.
"Alright, we'll head back now." DI Spencer says, "I'm glad neither of you
were hurt badly, and I promise we'll get him, okay?"
I nod, sending him a weak smile. We watch him walk away, sighing and
turning around to go back to Harry's car. We say goodbye to everyone, me
apologizing profusely, but everyone just waved me off. Maura hugged me
longer than everyone else, blinking back her tears, saying a simple, "Thank
you."
We walked back to Harry's car in silence. We weren't touching, hands
staying to ourselves, and I could see Harry's tension in the way he was
walking. He was stiff, shoulders hunched, and he was gripping his keys
tightly. I shook my head as I climbed into his car, biting my tongue.
It wasn't until the first stoplight that he started, "What the fuck were you
thinking, Emma?" He gritted out, voice steady but clearly holding back
anger.
"What the fuck was I thinking?" I repeat back incredulously, "I was
trying-"
"Why didn't you just stay back?!" He yelled, focusing his eyes on the
street, but gripping the steering wheel harshly, "Do you know what could've
happened to you?!"
 "What about you!" I yell back, letting out all my emotions, "I wasn't
going to just stand there and let him hurt you!"
"I had it handled!"
"Are you crazy?! In case you didn't notice, Harry, he was completely
fucked up. He was on something."
"And what does that matter?!" His arms went up frustratingly, "In case
you didn't notice, Emma, he fucking hit you!"
His patronizing tone just made me angrier, "What does that matter??!! He
was out of his mind. He would've had no problem taking it to the extreme
and nearly killing you!" I scream at him, body nearly turned completely
toward him in my seat, "Did you know he carries a fucking pocket knife
with him at all times? Do you know what was going on in my head
watching you put yourself in danger for me?!"
"Do you understand what it was like watching him hit you?!" Harry
shoots back, "Do you understand that fucking pain?" His voice cracked at
the end, making my heart beat painfully.
I clench my jaw, quieting down a little, but still pissed off, "Yes I do. I
had to watch him punch you, and kick you while you were down. I know
how it fucking feels, Harry. I felt every hit he gave you! I felt the air leave
my lungs, and I wasn't going to stand there and let him hurt you!"
"So you just put yourself in danger-"
"Yes! Because that's what we do! Because we are in love, and we are
soulmates! We protect each other, Harry! It's not just on you to protect me!"
His palm comes down to smack the steering wheel, letting his
frustrations out, "Fuck, Emma, I can't let anything happen to you!"
"And I refuse to let anything happen to you!" I yell back stubbornly. "He
was going to kill you!" My voice breaks completely, tears spilling over. "I
can't do this without you, Harry." I finish weakly.
He parks the car, vaguely aware that we arrived at the police station.
Turning to face me, I see his own eyes glossed over. His comes up to hold
my jaw, a little rougher than he usually would. His voice is much softer,
filled with fear and pain, as he says, "Emma, it's okay. I'm okay. But that
fear I felt when you got in front of us multiple times..." He closed his eyes
and gathered himself before continuing, "it was nearly debilitating. It was
like my whole life flashed before my eyes. I can't live without you either,
angel. That's why I'm so fucking pissed. Watching you recklessly put
yourself in danger for me was terrifying."
 "Harry, listen to me." I say slowly, voice thick with emotion, "I know you
want to protect me and save me. I completely understand that, but this," I
motion between us, "is a two way street. We protect each other, and I will
never apologize for stepping in today. I saw the look in his eyes, Harry. He
might want me to hurt or whatever, but he wants you dead."
"I would die for you." He says without a second thought.
I purse my lips, "And you don't think I would do the same?"
He doesn't answer right away, his eyes flicking back and forth between
mine. I watch as he struggles with himself, but eventually he says, "I wasn't
there."
I furrow my brows, "What?"
"I left you for a few minutes, and he... he fucking assaulted you, Emma."
And that's when I realized her was just as mad at himself. My face
softened, hands coming up to cup his face, "Oh, baby, no, this isn't your
fault."
His eyes close, shaking his head, and says, "I'm so scared to lose you."
I bring him in for a hug, awkward because of the restraints of the car, "I
love you, Harry. You will never lose me, no matter what."
"I love you." He mumbles into my neck, "You're the love of my life."
After a few minutes of holding each other, I pull back, moving my hands
back to his face, thumbs gently caressing the tops of his cheekbones, "You
were there, Harry. As terrified as I was, and how mad I am that you put
yourself in danger like that, you were there to protect me."
He sighs, "You did a pretty good job at protecting me too."
I smile sadly, "Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you kiss me. I can't have him be the last one to have touched me
like that."
He doesn't hesitate to pull me towards him, lips covering mine quickly.
It's urgent and filled with emotion, his hand gripping the back of my head to
keep us together. Eventually, it softens, turning into pecks and nudging
noses.
"We should probably go inside." Harry says, wiping away my tears. "See
what's going to happen."
I nod, kissing him once more. We get out of his car, Harry taking my
hand in his and we start walking up to the station to see what our future
holds.
Chapter Fifty-Seven

HARRY
"Okay, so we've got two different options on how to proceed." DI
Spencer tells us in his office.
We had been sitting here for another hour waiting for him to come in.
Emma and I had been silent the whole time, both of us replaying everything
that had happened today. I kept her hand in my lap, playing with her fingers
absentmindedly, the rose ring I bought for her on her right hand ring finger.
The fight we had in the car felt therapeutic. I think both of us needed it,
honestly, with so many emotions running through us. All I could picture
was her jumping in front of me, and seeing Jake's face. The way his eyes
took her in hungrily and obsessively. He wasn't allowed to look at her that
way.
She squeezes my hand, getting me to pay attention to the detective,
"We've got clear CCTV footage of what went down in the parking lot. We
can charge him with assault, and he can get some jail time for a few
months, or there's another option."
Emma fidgets in her seat, and asks, "What's that?"
"Assault's not enough, in my opinion. I can book him for a night in prison
for being in a physical altercation, keeping him away from you two for the
weekend so he doesn't retaliate. Then we start gathering our case. We'll
have assault, breaking and entering, destruction of property, and stalking-"
"Wait, I thought we weren't anywhere with the case, though." I interrupt,
"You said we were at a dead end practically."
Spencer nods his head, "We were, but part of his alibi is him and his
friend went back to his friend's apartment after they had lunch. We've got
clear CCTV footage of the front of the apartment building and it shows only
his friend entering in the afternoon, and never leaving again for the night."
"And the texts?" Emma asks.
"Yes, I had some... words with my boss, and he sped up the process
getting your case next in the docket. He'll be recovering the texts from your
copied hard drive tomorrow, which will give us enough evidence for a
restraining order." Spencer tells us.
"Really?" Emma asks, perking up.
"Yes," he smiles for the first time since we met him, "he'll be placed on
temporary leave at work during the remaining of the investigation. I've
already ordered a tail on him the moment he gets out of custody tomorrow-"
"You've already arrested him?" I interrupt.
"Yes, that's why it took me a few minutes to get in here. He's staying
overnight, so you will be safe." He continues, "Like I said, he'll have a tail
on him, so an officer will always be around in case he breaches the
restraining order. If this all goes according to plan, when we bring him in
for interrogation we're hoping that all the evidence we have will be enough
for him to confess to harassment, so you don't have to go through a lengthy
trial."
There's a moment of silence, both of us taking in the news before Emma
hesitantly asks, "So, if he does get convicted..."
"Well, stalking itself is a max of ten years, add in assault and the rest of
the charges, maybe if we're lucky possession of illegal substances from the
statement you gave us today about his behavior... We could be looking at
twenty years."
Emma and I look at each other, both a little shocked at the new
information. If Jake was locked away for twenty years that could mean
everything. Hell, we could have grown ass children by the time he gets out.
I think of a drama free life with Emma. Not worrying about if she'll pick up
my phone call when we're apart, or if she's safe at the house alone. Our
whole life could be simple and filled with love and stupid fights about me
leaving the lights on all day while we're at work instead of screaming
matches in the car about sacrificing our safety for each other.
That's all I want with her. I just want a normal life with a dog and a small
wedding with our friends and family. I want to watch her belly grow over
and over again as we grow our family without having to worry about her
being hurt. It's all within reach, if we can get lucky just this once.
"There's risk both ways. Obviously, if we go with the former, you'll be
safer for the time being, but if we're patient and wait for the latter that
means the next few weeks you will be in danger. We'll do our best to protect
you, but with somebody as unstable as Jake is... well, it's dangerous." DI
Spencer ends on a rather dramatic note.
 I look down at Emma, "It's your choice, angel. What are you thinking?"
"I want that fucker locked away for as long as possible." She says
instantly, making me smile, "We'll be extra careful for the next few weeks.
I'll make sure I'm always around someone, as long as you do." She tells me
pointedly.
"And you've both got my work cell, so if you need anything right away
do not be afraid to call me." The detective says.
I nod, "I'll put an alarm system in at the house, just for an extra layer of
protection."
"Perfect." He says, "I think that's all we have to discuss then. You two
can go home, and try to have a peaceful weekend."
Somehow I didn't quite think that was possible, but I smiled anyways.
We walked out of the station, hand in hand, mulling over everything, but the
moment we're enclosed in my car, Emma turns to me and asks, "Harry, can
we go visit my mum?"
I look over at her, hand turning the key in the ignition, "Tonight?"
She nods, "I mean, if that's okay. I can drive myself if you don't want-"
"Of course I want to come." I interrupt her, "Do you want some alone
time with her, or would you prefer I come with."
"I feel safer with you."
My heart clenches while I look at my angel, exhausted, cheek bruised,
and sad. "Then I would be happy to go. Why don't you call your mum up
real quick, let her know, and we'll go home and do some light packing.
We'll get some burgers on the way up for lunch since we haven't eaten." I
suggest.
She smiles at me, "I love you."
"And I love you."
An hour later we're on the road, eating our burgers to go, silently. Her
mom was happy to hear from her, but knew instantly something was wrong.
I was glad that Emma decided to make amends in some way, even if she
was still pissed off at the whole situation with her dad. I don't think she had
told her mom about anything that was going on, not wanting to worry her,
so this would definitely be an interesting way to be introduced.
I was a little excited to meet her, though. We had spoken on the phone
once and I remember liking how blunt she was. She reminded me of my
own mum, Emma even telling me how alike they were. I bet they would be
best friends.
 "Did you realize we survived our first official fight?" Emma asks out of
the blue, about thirty minutes away from her mum's place.
I smile, "We did."
"Just think: if everything goes our way, we could be fighting about dumb
unimportant stuff for the next twenty years." She teases, finishing off her
chips.
I breathe out a laugh, "I was thinking the same thing earlier."
"You were?"
I nod, eyes on the road, "Yeah, when Spencer was giving us options I just
started thinking about how easy our lives could be. How nice it would be to
just be with you without all this shit in our way."
She takes a second to answer, a soft, "I'm sorry," being spoken.
I furrow my brows, "What do you have to be sorry about, darling?"
"I'm sorry I've brought you into all this shit-"
"Emma, stop right there." I interrupt her, "Don't ever apologize to me
about this ever again, do you hear me? None of it is your fault. And,
honestly, I'm glad I'm here to be with you through it. I would never want
you to deal with this by yourself. It actually scares me just thinking about
it."
I hear her exhale a big breath, and feel her lean over to rest her head on
my shoulder. She doesn't say anything, so I don't either, instead placing my
hand on her thigh and turning to press a kiss to the top of her head. Her
hand covers mine in her lap, and for the rest of the drive we enjoy the quiet
around us.
†††
"I can't believe you didn't tell me what was going on." Emma's mom
scolds her as I sip on water. "This is serious, Emma."
"I know, mum." She sighs, rubbing her face tiredly, "I didn't want you to
worry."
My hand finds her back and starts rubbing it. When we drove up, Emma's
mom, Kate, had introduced herself, but went straight into hounding Emma
for details. She had stayed quiet through most of the story, but I saw the
storm in her eyes brewing the further Emma got in.
"Worry? Emma, that's my job. I'm your mother." She takes a moment to
herself, pouring her tea while Emma stays silent. "He's being put away?"
When Emma doesn't answer right away, I step in, "We're working on that.
Might be a week or two, but it looks like there's a good chance it'll play in
our favor."
Kate looks at me, "So my daughter has been living with you?"
I swallow, "Uh, yeah."
"You've been keeping her safe?" She asks.
"I've been trying." I say, pushing down the fear that I failed her today.
"What do you do, Harry?" She starts going through her pantries, placing
things on the counter.
"Uh, I work at Spectron Tech. I'm their lead accountant."
She looks at me, "That's a big job."
"Yeah, you work at a bank, right? I think that's what Emma told me." I
try to steer away from work, not wanting to think about that right now.
"I do, yes. I'm a clerk at West National. Honey, do you want me to make
you two some dinner and we can all call it a day? You look exhausted."
Kate tells her daughter, softening up on her.
Emma looks at me, and I smile, combing her hair back, and say, "Angel,
why don't you go up and take a nice warm shower. Me and your mum will
cook dinner for you."
I can feel Kate's eyes on me, but continue to look at Emma who furrows
her brows, "Are you sure?"
I smirk, "Yes, I'll be fine, Em."
She narrows her eyes at me, testing to see if I'll really be okay with being
alone with her mom. She then turns to her mom, points at her accusingly,
"Don't say anything embarrassing while I'm gone."
"So I can't tell him about the time when you were four and started
stripping down naked in the grocery store because it was too hot out?" She
responds.
I burst out laughing, the tension breaking from earlier. Emma throws her
hands up, "Mum!"
"Go take a shower. I'll keep my future son-in-law entertained."
Emma's blushing as she looks at me, saying a quick unbelieving,
"They're the same." She's referencing our moms, and I can't help but grin,
both at her embarrassment and the thought of being her husband.
She turns quickly, marching up the stairs as I chuckle, and move to her
mom's side, "So what are we making?"
For the next few minutes she gives me instructions, whirling around her
kitchen to gather everything. Finally, she says, "Harry, it's nice to finally
meet you. Even if it is under these circumstances."
 "Thanks for letting us come up on such short notice. Emma's been
missing you a lot." I tell her as I slice up some vegetables.
"So she told you about all that?" She asks hesitantly.
I nod, "Yeah, she did."
There's a moment of silence before she continues, "Do you know if she's
thinking about meeting him?"
I sigh, "I think there's a chance, but I wouldn't be surprised if she decided
not to."
"I just wish she would give him a chance."
I mull over my response, not wanting to anger her mom, but I also
wanted her to see it from Emma's point of view. "Technically, he had
twenty-seven years of chances. He could've found you guys at any point but
decided not to."
"You're right." She tells me surprising, "She doesn't owe him anything,
but she owes it to herself to at least try."
I nod slowly, "She knows that. I think it's just hard for her to get over the
fact that he also hurt you so badly."
Kate purses her lips, eyes saddening, but says, "You really understand
her, don't you?"
I shrug, "I love her. I think that comes with the territory."
The stove chimes, Kate turning her attention back to the food, "I guess
I'll approve you for the position of my son-in-law."
I laugh, "Good, I was hoping to join the family."
"So you are serious about Emma. You're thinking about the future?" She
asks, attention focused on checking if the food is rarely cooked.
"All the time. I'm serious when I say I love her, Kate. I am going to
marry her, and you will be stuck with me as your son-in-law. That's if she
lets me." I add at the end.
Kate snorts, "Oh, please, Em is obsessed with you. Knew she was in love
that first time I spoke to you over the phone. She came back inside all
flustered and worrying about what she was gonna wear. She doesn't get like
that. Not even on the first date she ever went on."
I smiled at this, the memory of asking her to be my fake girlfriend one of
my favorites, "First date, huh? What was the bloke like?"
She gives me an amused look, but starts to tell me all about fifteen year
old Emma getting ready for a movie date with some boy from her school. I
laugh at certain parts, loving how Kate told stories. I could see a lot of
Emma in her, but it was clear that Kate was more of an extrovert and loved
talking.
When Emma comes down, hair blowdried and body bundled up in sweats
and a jumper, dinner was ready. She immediately questioned me on what
her mom told me, suspicious of why we were laughing so much. I just gave
her a quick kiss and handed her her plate I made up for her.
We spent the next bit talking about random things, the "get to know you"
style questions from both me and Emma's mom. I noticed how quiet Emma
had gotten half way through, her head resting against my shoulder when we
went to sit on the couch in the living room. I moved my arm around her and
tucked her into my side, asking gently, "You okay?"
She nods up at me, but I can see the sleep starting to invade her senses.
She looks at her mom, and asks surprisingly, "Have you spoken to Peter
recently?"
Kate and I made eye contact, both shocked she asked in the first place.
Kate clears her throat, "Yes, I was supposed to have dinner with him
tomorrow night."
I watched closely as Emma's jaw clenched, but she said, "Can we join
you?"
There was stunned silence around the room, neither of us sure of what
just happened. I didn't know why Emma had suddenly decided to meet her
dad. The last time we spoke about it she was still confused as to what to do.
I think in the long run she was always going to meet him, but to do it so
soon, and at such short notice was not what I expected.
"Are you sure?" I ask her.
She looks at me, and nods, "Yeah, let's see what he has to say." She
shrugs and looks back at her mom for an answer.
"Of course, hun. If that's what you want, I'll let him know."
She gives her a tight-lipped smile, and says, "Okay, um, I think I'm gonna
go to sleep." Looking at me she asks, "You coming or do you want to gossip
with my mom more?"
I breathe out a laugh, "I'm quite tired, as well, so I'll go with you."
We stand up, Kate hugging Emma tightly, whispering something in her
ear, but I stand back and give them some privacy. I pull Emma's mum in for
my own hug, kissing her cheek goodnight.
†††
 "Are you sure about this?" I ask Emma in the parking lot of the restaurant
we were meeting her dad in. She looked anxious and tense, and I hated
every part of it.
"Bit late to be asking." She responded, staring white-faced at the door.
"Em, just breathe." I round to her front, placing my hands on her
shoulders, "Remember, you're in charge here. Let him make the effort. I'll
be next to you the entire time."
She takes a deep breath and nods. We follow Kate into the restaurant, her
hand holding mine tightly. I wish I could do more than just be there for her.
I wish I could take away her anxiety, knowing exactly how she's feeling.
"Reservation for Peter?"
"Oh, yes, the rest of your party has already arrived." The hostess says,
beginning to lead us back.
I furrow my brows, thinking that was weird, but led Emma after her
mom. We weave throughout the restaurant, families and pairs surrounding
us. I was happy when I saw we were being led to a more private corner
table, but my heart dropped when I saw that we were headed straight for a
table with three people already at it.
"For fuck's sake." I heard Emma mumble, confirming my beliefs that that
was in fact Emma's dad, Peter. He was sitting in-between two others, both
much younger than him, a boy and a girl. I had a faint suspicion on who it
was, but waited to see for sure.
Peter's eyes widened when he saw us, standing up quickly, his chair
scraping against the wood floor. His hands are fidgeting, straightening his
clothes up while the girl stands up as well, the boy staying seated.
The hostess smiles at us before she returns to her post, leaving the six of
us in one of the most awkward moments I've ever had. Kate looks back at
us, clear surprise and apprehension on her face. She didn't know either.
Peter clears his throat, "Kate, you look beautiful as always." He smiles
politely at Emma's mom, then turns to Emma, "Emma, I'm so glad you
decided to come."
"Yeah." She responds dryly, eyeing the two behind him, "Thought we
should talk."
I felt a pang of pity as I saw how her cold response affected him. He
looked incredibly self-conscious, his eyes begging for some sense of
warmth from his first born.
 "Yes, I think that's best. Emma, Kate, these are my two youngest." He
gestures behind him, and I notice his choice of words. He was determined
not to exclude Emma as his daughter, something I was happy about, but
also wary. I didn't understand why he was trying so hard now. "This is
Maddie. You probably recognize her from the, uh, first time we met, and
this is my son, Joe."
Maddie walked right up to Emma, to shake her hand, "It's really great to
meet you, Emma."
Emma shakes her hand reluctantly, and pulls together a forced smile,
"Nice to meet you." She glanced over to Joe who was still sitting down,
eyeing her suspiciously. They exchange a look, both understanding that
neither of them was particularly happy to be here. His face softened and he
moved in his seat, sitting up a bit straighter.
"This is Harry, Emma's boyfriend." Kate introduced me.
I politely wave and nod at everyone, taking my seat next to Emma. She
looks over at me, eyes wide and worried. This wasn't what she was
expecting. She didn't plan on meeting his kids. That hadn't been something
she had planned for. Gratefully, our server came over asking for drinks, so I
leaned towards her, kissing her temple, and whispered into her ear, "It's
okay, angel. I'm right here."
She exhaled, shoulders relaxing a bit and nods. She orders a glass of wine
while I stick with water just in case. There's a charged tension in the air
around us, no one knowing who should speak first.
Which is why I was completely surprised when Emma opened her mouth
and said, "So you brought your kids."
I had to hide my smile, her dryness and complete lack of giving a shit,
making me very pleased. It was one thing if he came on his own, but to
bombard Emma and even her mom with his actual family like this crossed a
line.
Maddie's forced smile drops, her brows twitching into a furrow when she
looks at her dad, and says, "You didn't tell them that we were coming?"
Peter sighed, but answered to Emma sheepishly, "I thought if I told you
they wanted to come that you would ditch, and I thought if I came here on
my own I would just make things worse, and you would never get to meet
your siblings." His son gave him a scathing look, crossing his arms, clearly
pissed at his dad more than anything. "Emma, I don't know what I'm doing
here. I don't know how to make this better."
 "Not lying would be a start." Emma says, both Kate and I keeping quiet.
Emma deserved to have this talk. "Don't think your kids really appreciate
that."
"No, we don't." Maddie said through gritted teeth.
Peter rubs a hand over his face, "Look, I know I've done literally
everything wrong-"
"Sounds about right." Emma interrupts before taking a big swig of her
wine. My hand encases hers and brings it over to my lap, moving it around
so could gently massage it, knowing she keeps a lot of her tension in her
hands.
Peter swallows, "I did try and look for you."
Emma was quiet this time, Kate looking at Peter sharply. I narrowed my
eyes at him, trying to see if he was lying, but he just kept his eyes straight
on Emma.
"It was right after Maddie was born. I told my wife, Carol, about you,
and she told me to find you, but you weren't living in the same place. I had
no idea how to even start looking for you, and our old neighbors didn't
know anything." He took a deep breath, "So I took it as a sign. A sign that
you didn't need me."
It was clear to everyone at the table that this was a conversation that
should be kept private. It should be between Emma and Peter, but both had
needed the support of the others at the table. No matter how mad his own
children were at him for keeping this a secret, they still loved him enough to
be here.
"Pretty shit sign, if you ask me." Emma retaliates.
Joe snorts, looking at his dad, "She's right."
Peter breathes out a laugh, looking at his son, "Yeah, I know."
There was more awkward silence until Emma once again breaks it, "So
how old are you two?"
"Twenty-six. Joe's twenty-two." Maddie replies immediately, almost as if
Emma would take back her question. "You're twenty-seven?"
"I'll be twenty-eight in a few months."
"April seventeenth?" Peter chimes in.
Emma glanced at her mom, who just shrugged and finished her beer.
Emma sent him a tight-lipped smile, "Yep."
"Are you doing anything fun for your birthday?" Maddie tries once again
to clear the air.
 Maybe Peter was right in bringing them. Surely, he would've ruined his
chance by coming alone, but at least this way Emma got a chance to meet
her siblings. She could have a chance at a big family, if she was willing to
take it.
"I'm not sure, yet." Emma replies, looking at her sister. Maddie don't look
too much like Emma, both of them seemingly taking after their mothers.
Except their eyes. They both had the same icy blue eyes. Emma looks up at
me and smiles, "Harry's planning something, but won't tell me."
I breathe out a laugh, "Just taking a little trip somewhere."
"Are you really not going to tell me where?" She asks.
"Nope." I smirk down at her, "Gonna let you drive yourself crazy
guessing." I turn to the other side of the table, "Em, hates surprises."
I wanted to give them a little information to grab onto. Nothing too
serious, but enough to open her up to them. I knew she wouldn't do that,
and I knew her well enough to know that she would regret not giving them
a chance.
"Sounds like Joe." Maddie laughs, "Absolutely hates any type of surprise.
Doesn't even like getting presents."
He shrugs, "I just like to plan."
"Peter, why don't you join me outside." Kate interrupts, sending her ex a
look telling him it was non-negotiable.
"Yeah, of course." He glances once at Emma before standing up and
following her mom out the restaurant.
It was obvious Kate wanted Emma to have some time to talk with
Maddie and Joe without the pressure of Peter sitting in-between the two. As
she passed she gave me a wink.
There was another beat of silence until Emma waves down our server
and orders herself another beer. Maddie bites her bottom lip, and I can just
see her dying to talk.
Finally, it's her brother who speaks, rolling his eyes at his sister, "Well,
this is awkward."
Emma snorts, and I watch as one by one they all start laughing. I grin,
sipping my water, leaning back on my chair to let them speak.
"I'm really sorry about this, Emma." Maddie starts, "When dad said he
was meeting you I begged him to bring Joe and I, and I thought he told
you."
Emma waves her off, "Don't worry about it. Not your fault."
 "You're right, it's dads fault." Joe says.
"I take it you're not too happy of my existence." Emma replies.
Joe looks a bit uncomfortable, "Not exactly."
"Yeah, I'm not too happy about yours, but here we are." Emma says,
"You still going to school?"
He seems surprised she was willing to talk to him, "Uh, yeah, finishing
up my engineering degree." There's a pause. "What about you?"
"Grade school teacher." Emma looks at Maddie for her reply.
"Oh, um, I am just working at a bar right now. Figuring out what I want
to do." Maddie answer awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with the subject.
"I was working nights bartending a few years back to save up money.
You live up here?" Emma asks.
"No, actually down in Manchester. Joe's down there too."
"That's where Harry and I are. What bar do you work at?"
"Hartford's."
Emma blinks, and I raise my eyebrows, clarifying, "Hartford's, as in the
one on Tib Street?"
"Uh, yeah. I work during the day as a server mostly."
Emma laughs, looking up at me. I just shake my head and turn back to a
now confused Maddie, "Sorry, that's just, uh, our favorite place. We're there
every Friday night."
"Really? I sometimes fill in on Friday's if one of the girls is sick."
"For how long? That was the bar I worked at for years." Emma asks.
Maddie perks up, and I get the feeling she likes the fact that she is
somewhat connected to her estranged sister, "Oh, well, I started as just
seasonal in November, but a girl quit right before Christmas and they hired
me on full staff."
"Huh..." Emma says, looking a little off kilter, not expecting this one bit.
"What about you?" Joe asks me.
"I work at Spectron Tech." I tell him.
His eyes go big, and I hear Maddie groan, "Oh no."
"Wait, seriously?" Joe sits up straight, suddenly very interested, "That's
my dream job. I've been applying for their internship for the past two years,
but they're always full. Are you an engineer?"
I chuckle, shaking my head, "No, I'm in accounting."
"He's head of accounting." Emma interjects.
 I peer down at her, and I see a speckle of pride in her eyes. Joe gets even
more excited, "Head? Like... head, head? Like you've got an in?"
"Seriously, Joe, are you really going to try this with our sister's
boyfriend? We just met them!" Maddie hissed at her brother.
I don't miss the small smile that flashes on Emma's face. I squeeze her
hand, and say, "I don't think I've got any sway in engineering. Sorry, mate."
He shrugs, "An in is an in."
I laugh, liking his positive attitude. Emma takes it as her own in, asking,
"How did you get into engineering?"
And that's all it took. Suddenly, everything shifted between the three of
them, an opening of sorts. One clear of anger and awkwardness. It was just
three people getting to know each other. Joe lets go of his frustrations,
talking animatedly about the trip his mom took him on when he was just a
kid to a museum that started his interest in engineering. I watched as Emma
gave Maddie the same advice she gave me a few months back. She was soft
and gentle, different than her no nonsense way she told me about how
everyone's path is different, and how sometimes it takes longer to find your
way. She grinned at me with bright eyes when I gave the same examples of
people who had success later in life.
But my favorite was when they talked about Maddie and Joe's mom. She
was brought up organically, and Emma asked hesitantly about her.
Apparently, she had died from cancer about four years back. I watched as
Emma's eyes softened as they told her how badly their dad had taken it, the
year long depression he had been in until they got him some help.
I noticed that this made Emma softer towards Peter when Kate finally
brought him back in. She let him ask her questions, and although she wasn't
warm, she wasn't making snide comments back.
My heart filled with pride and love as I watched her navigate the
landmines that were her estranged family. Nothing was certain, and I was
pretty sure that her father had a lot more work to do, but it looked like a
weight had been visibly lifted off of her. Her conversation with her mom
wasn't as stilted as before, and her eyes seemed brighter.
We were still living in a world of shit, things happening around us that
were uncontrollable, but she had taken something back today. She had the
power to accept this family, her past, the hidden pain she had been living
with for so long. I got to watch as it left her body, her shoulders relaxing
completely, hand soft in mine, playing with my rings in my lap.
 And I thought maybe things were looking up for us. Maybe this was the
beginning of our life together, mess free. Maybe.
Chapter Fifty-Eight

TRIGGER WARNING - SEXUAL ASSAULT & RAPE MENTIONS

EMMA
I was finishing up my makeup when Harry walked in with my morning
coffee. He looked delicious himself, sweats hung low, showing off the
tattoos lining his hip bones. The best part was I knew he wasn't wearing
anything underneath them.
The last few days have been quiet, a sort of eery calmness settling around
us. DI Spencer kept us updated on the investigation, my restraining order
going through once their tech guy brought back all the texts. It was
sufficient evidence of harassment, but we wanted more. The wait was
killing us, and we had been antsy since coming back Monday.
Harry and I had both taken the day off, and I could tell Harry was
stressed not just with the case, but with work. It had piled up on him again,
and I was doing my best to keep him calm. Last night, Thursday, had been
the first night he could put his laptop away before eight. I always made him
pause for dinner, so he could eat with me, but this time he came down from
his office in the middle of me warming up leftovers.
He was so cute when he was exhausted, softer than usual - and that was
saying something. I let him eat in peace and when he was done I straddled
him on the couch and made love to him. It was slow and sensual, I love
you's and sweet words spoken. It was probably the first time all week where
it felt normal.
"You going to be staying late at work tonight?" I ask him, stepping aside
to let him get his deodorant off the counter.
"Don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'm all caught up, so it should be an easy
day if everything goes according to plan." He tells me, placing a kiss on my
cheek. "I'm going to try and get off an hour earlier today, so that way you
aren't home alone for too long."
I give him a look, "Don't worry if you can't, babe. Niall's been following
me home and checking the place out before I come in, and we've got the
alarm system now. I don't want you stressing yourself out, if you don't need
to."
He sighs, "I know, Em. I'm just getting nervous, because everything's
been so quiet, you know?"
"I know," I say quietly, wrapping my arms around his neck, "but we're
talking with Spencer tomorrow, and soon this will all be over."
"Can't come soon enough." He mumbles against my lips, pecking them a
few times, "I love you."
I hum, still in a state of shock that this perfect man could feel that way
about me, "And I love you."
He kisses me once more, and takes a sip of his coffee before announcing,
"I've got to take a wee, so it's your choice if you want to stay-"
"Okay, I'm out." I take my coffee as he laughs, closing the door when I
leave. I put on an easy outfit, and go to unplug my phone from the charger.
I pause when I see the messages.
A few from an unknown number. This was different than any other
messages I had received. Those had always been about me, but these were
about hurting Harry as well.
Immediately, I call in for a sub, knowing I would be at the station all day
again, and when Harry walked out of the bathroom he noticed my change in
mood right away.
"What's wrong?"
I look up at him, my hand resting on his chest soothingly, "It's not so
quiet anymore."
I show him my phone, watching him read the messages. I hate that I've
put him in this vulnerable position. I hate that he's the target of Jake's rage
instead of me. Harry clenches his jaw, and I know he just got to the last text.
He closed his eyes and breathed in, shaking it off and gritting out, "Idiot's
really making a case for himself, isn't he?"
I exhale a deep breath, "I've already called in. I'm gonna bring it to the
station-"
"Do you want me to come?"
"No, you need to go to work." Harry had been taking off too much work
because of me. "I can handle this on my own, babe." I tell him firmly, "But
please, be careful. I can't have anything happen to you."
He scoffs, "Please, I hope he comes after me. Gives me a reason to beat
the shit out of him. Can finish what I started last week."
 I gave him a hard look, grabbing hold of his chin and tilting it down so
he's forced to look at me, "No, you will not."
"Em-"
"Harry, you will not ever say something like that again, okay?" My tone
is deadly serious, just the picture of that happening making my stomach
churn. "I don't want you near him. You may think you're stronger and
smarter than him, but he won't hold back. Nothing in him cares if you die.
You, however, are a good person, and you couldn't ever cross that line. It'll
be like playing a handicap match. I will not tolerate you being hurt just
because you think he deserves to get the shit beaten out of him. If this all
goes according to plan, then he'll have enough to deal with in prison. Do I
make myself clear?"
He can't help but smirk down at me, "I love it when you get all bossy." I
roll my eyes but a faint smile creeps onto my face. "I promise you I won't
go looking for a fight, and I'll try my best to keep calm if something
happens. But I will defend myself and you if need be."
"Of course." I say quickly, "I expect that. Just don't like the fact that he's
threatening you now."
One of his eyebrows quirk up, "How do you think I've been feeling all
this time. I'm actually a little relieved his sights are set on me."
I groan, "Harry, don't say that."
"Emma, my angel, I love you so much." My eyes sadden, both of us
knowing we're still in the thick of it, as he finishes, "I could never live
without you."
†††
I spent an hour and a half waiting to speak to DI Spencer. Harry had
followed me all the way to the station, making sure I got in safe, mouthing
an "I love you" through closed windows. He drove off, and I started to get
an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Everything felt just slightly... off. I couldn't tell if it was just me, the texts
effecting me more than I admitted to Harry. They actually made me sick. I
clicked on my messages again, reading them over.
From Unknown: He's not always going to be there to protect you.
From Unknown: What would you do if he was gone? How guilty
would you feel if something happened to him because of you?
From Unknown: He better get one last good fucking from you,
because he'll never touch you again after I'm done with him.
 From Unknown: Been dreaming about how good it'll feel to see the
life leave his eyes.
From Unknown: Miss the taste of you. But that's okay. Once you're
mine again, I'll tie you up to the bed like you always asked and keep
you there forever. Fuck you until you can't remember him any longer.
From Unknown: Maybe I'll tie him up and make him watch.
I put my phone down quickly, not wanting to look at them any longer. I
was so ready for this to be done. I wondered if this would be the final nail
in the coffin. I prayed that it would be. I didn't know how much I had left in
me, my anxiety heightened at all times, and now that it was clear exactly
what he wanted to do to Harry it only made things worse.
Harry might be able to brush off the threats to his life, but I couldn't. All
week that fight had played over in my head, all the different scenarios
running like clockwork. Each and every one ended with Harry either in the
hospital or bleeding out on the pavement.
I had even started to have nightmares, waking up in the middle of the
night with a start. Luckily, Harry was a heavy sleeper, so he didn't even
know. I felt bad for not telling him about them, but I just didn't want to add
anything to his plate. He had made it crystal clear that he was going to
protect me and keep me safe, and I knew how much that weighed on him. I
don't think he ever truly forgave himself for not being there when Jake had
assaulted me.
"Sorry for the wait, Emma. You can come back now." DI Spencer said,
breaking me out of my thoughts.
I follow him into his office, immediately holding my phone out to him.
He takes it without a word and starts reading. I wait in silence, watching his
face react to each text.
"Jesus," he sighs, sending a quick text on his phone, "he is..."
"Yeah, I know. Is there any way we can speed this investigation up? I
know you want to get him for everything, but he's threatening to kill Harry
now, and I-"
"Emma, I know this is hard, but if we only charge him for one or two of
the offenses we're aiming at then he could be out in... five years." He tells
me, leaning against his desk.
I look up at the ceiling, taking a large breath. My legs starts bouncing, as
I say, "I know, I know. How much longer are we looking at?"
"We're nearly there, I promise."
 There was a knock on the door, and a younger man pops his head in. I
furrow my brows, taking in his rather casual attire, as he says, "Sorry to
interrupt. Spencer, did you need something? Got your text."
"Right," he stands back up, "come in. Michael, this is Emma Everly, you
worked on her case. The one retrieving texts?"
"Ah, yeah," he nods, nodding his head at me, "nice to meet you."
I send him a tight-lipped smile, Spencer continuing, "I need you to get a
copy of these texts, and try and find out where they came from. It's
probably a burner, but do your magic." He hands him my phone, and
without a word he leaves. "It might take a while to get your phone back. I'm
not really sure, to be quite honest. Never was much of a techie."
I nod, "That's fine. I took the day off."
"Emma, I know this is tough, but I hope you know that we are doing are
best to keep you and your boyfriend safe." He says in his soft detective
voice, one I'm sure he uses to get victims and witnesses to comply.
"Yeah, I know. I'm just... scared, I guess." I admit.
"You're allowed to be scared, Emma." He assures me, "And for what it's
worth, I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable coming forward before it got
this extreme." I looked up from the floor. "I know it's hard for women to
come forward with this type of thing. Most of the time, it doesn't get taken
seriously until it's almost too late. I made that mistake once. I won't make it
again."
†††
Hours later, I'm walking out of the station. It had taken a lot longer than
suspected, because DI Spencer sat me down with another detective, DS
Miller, to talk more about the timeline, clean some stuff up on their end. It
felt therapeutic, telling the full story, everything from when Jake and I
started dating to how things changed when Jake saw that I was dating
someone else.
Both detectives took me seriously, never once questioned why I did or
didn't do something. They gave me a few minutes to myself when I got my
phone back, texting Harry to let him know what was going on. He had text
me just two hours earlier to tell me that he and Mike were getting lunch if I
wanted to join.
I also had a voicemail from the principal, asking me to come in and speak
with her when I could. I called her back to let her know where I was and
that I would drive over as school was ending. Another hour of answering
and asking questions, and they let me go. I walked out, checking my phone,
but still didn't get a reply from Harry. I sent him off a text telling him I was
going to be at the school for a quick meeting and then home.
By the time I had parked, the school busses had left, most of the staff's
cars gone. I walked into the office, smiling at the secretary, and she let me
know I could go in to Principal Williams office. I knock, poking my head
in, and wait for her to look up.
"Emma, come in." She waves me in, setting aside some papers she was
working on, "Thanks for coming in on a personal day."
"It's no problem." I answer, sitting down opposite her.
"I'm sorry I haven't had a proper chat with you about everything going
on." I start kneading my hands, feeling nervous about what she's going to
say about the situation. She continues, "I've been meaning to, but things
came up. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry you've had to go
through this, and that I'm on your side. Technically speaking, I'm not
supposed to say anything until after the investigation, but I've spoken to
some people who have told me some interesting things."
I smile sadly, "Niall?"
She gave me a look, "That man likes to talk."
I can't help but laugh, my hand rubbing at my face, "Yeah, I know. He
can't keep a secret worth anything."
"He seems like a good friend, though. You'll need them, because once it
gets out there will be whispers and... opinions. There are a lot of older male
teachers in the district that were brought up to question a woman's words,
and you would be surprised at how many woman are quick to judge. I've
seen this type of thing drive teachers away, and I really don't want to lose
you, Emma. The kids love you, and you really are an excellent teacher."
My heart warms, "Thank you. That really does mean a lot to me,
Principal Williams-"
"Diana." She corrects.
I smile, "Diana. And I promise I won't let this ruin me. I love it here, and
- pardon my French - but I'll be damned if I let him take this away from
me."
I saw a spark of pride in her eyes, smiling truly for the first time since I
got hired here, "That's what I like to hear. Now I really do need to finish this
paperwork, or my wife is going to kill me for missing family dinner. It's my
turn to cook."
 I chuckle, "Alright, I'll see you Monday. Have a good weekend."
"And you."
I felt a little lighter walking out of the school. I wasn't sure what to
expect from our meeting. I knew Jake was a favorite amongst the staff, and
I had heard rumblings around the office and teacher's lounge about why he
was on suspension. I had never really gotten a feel for Principal Williams,
either, and I wasn't sure if she was going to fire me for this.
That was one thing I was wondering about all this: if Jake was found not
guilty then what would happen. I couldn't work alongside him. And I know
he would refuse to transfer, so I would have to leave my kids halfway
through the year, probably step down to become a sub until they could find
a placement for me. But by then everything would've been out, and I'm sure
most everybody would think I had lied. Being placed anywhere in
Manchester would be difficult.
I was so in my head about the possibilities surrounding Jake getting off,
that I hadn't been paying attention walking to my car. I hadn't noticed the
black SUV parked a few spots down, idling, instead turning my back on it
to open my door. I didn't notice the sound of the car door opening and
shutting, the sound of shoes hitting the ground behind me until I was
slammed against my half open door, hip hitting the side hard.
My car door slammed shut, me against it, hand on the back of my head,
keeping my head straight, so I couldn't look behind me. My heart was
racing, breathing ragged as I heard the worst sound imaginable.
"You thought you could just get away from me?" Jake's voice gritted into
my ear, his lips grazing against my earlobe.
"Get off me!" I tried to fight against him, but one of my hands was
pinned against my body and the car, the other Jake had twisted behind me.
His body was flush against my back, both hands tightening, one around
my hair, the other around my wrist. "Not gonna happen, Emma. I told you
that you were mine."
"Help! Someone-" I was silenced when Jake pulled back my head and
slammed it down on the corner of my car.
It hurt like hell, eyes blinking away the spots, my cheek throbbing, as he
said, "Why didn't you just listen to me, huh? Things could've been different.
I wouldn't've had to hurt anyone-"
"What-"
 "Shut the fuck up!" He kept his voice quiet, but slammed my face back
down onto the harsh metal I was trapped against. "It's all your fault, baby.
You caused this!" He tightened his hold on me as I tried desperately to get
away, my head pounding and completely disoriented. "All you had to do
was come back to me, warm my bed, suck my cock, but you had to make
this hard. I could've treated you like a queen."
"Jake, please don't-"
"Don't what? Don't fuck you? Well, that's going to happen no matter what
you want."
I was full on panicking, unable to escape his grip, my breathing
becoming difficult to keep up with. It was hitting me just then that this was
happening. He was going to try and rape me right out in the open. But there
was no one around, and he was so much bigger and stronger than me.
I wasn't prepared for this. My mace was in my purse on the ground, my
hands and arms were useless, my legs couldn't get enough momentum to get
a good kick in because his legs were trapping them in as well. My mind was
racing, trying fearfully to figure something out. I couldn't let this happen.
He couldn't take this away from me.
But then my face hit the car even harder this time, stunning me with pain.
I cried out, feeling his hand leave my head. My eyes snapped open when I
felt it behind my back, against my bum. He wasn't groping it, but I could
feel him moving, and then I heard the sound of his belt buckle.
"No, no, no! Don't! Help! Help, someone!" I scream, squirming and
wiggling in my prison.
"That's right, love, scream. Just like you used to." He whispers
disgustingly in my ear, seemingly confident no one would hear me. But
there were people here in the school, someone had to have heard, so I keep
yelling for help, whimpering when I hear his zipper. His hips thrust into my
bum, and I have to stop myself from gagging at the feeling of his hard-on
against me. "It's okay, Emma, I'm gonna stuff you full of my cock, and
everything will be okay again. I know you missed me. I know it." He
mutters to himself.
He starts to tug on my jeans, reaching around to my front to unbutton
them, but he doesn't realize that that gives me leverage. He needed room to
take them off, which meant my arm had enough room to squeeze itself out.
Like I had done it a million times, like I was back in the gym, Mike
holding me from behind, Harry watching from the sides, my elbow flies
back.
I feel it collide harshly with a sharp bone, the sound of his cry a bolt of
energy through my body. I rear back my elbow once more, putting every bit
of my earned muscle into it, hearing a resounding crack when I meet his
face again.
His hold loosens on me, my torso finally able to expand as I take in deep
breaths, my lungs burning from being crushed between him and my car. I
turn around, both his hands covering his face, grip his shoulders, and bring
my knee to his crotch. His pants were shoved down, boxer pulled low as
well, making me queazy, but it didn't prohibit the full impact of my knee
slamming against his balls.
A woosh of air leaves his body, doubling over, and for the first time I get
a good look at his face.
It's completely bloodied and bruised, his shirt ripped and soaked in blood
as well. There's no way I did all that, and I realize in dread that most of it is
dried blood. And then his words come back to me:
"Why didn't you just listen to me, huh? Things could've been different. I
wouldn't've had to hurt anyone-"
Everything in my body boiled, a rage I had never felt pulsing through me.
He wasn't talking about me. I was his second stop. He got to Harry.
As if I was another person, I found myself gripping the back of his hair,
stepping to the side, and crashing his face into my car window. I had so
much pent up anger and anxiety and pain that the force of his already
broken face shattered my window. He dropped to the ground unconscious,
and I stepped away.
My head was pounding and my heart was ramming against my chest,
threatening to tear out. I looked around wildly as I heard my name being
called, however muffled and far away it sounded. I saw two people running
up to me, the older custodian, Greg, and the secretary from the office, Mary.
"Emma, are you okay?" Greg asked calmly.
I'm shaking my head, "No, no, I need to talk to Harry."
I scramble away from them, falling to my knees next to Jake where my
purse was. I fumbled for the device, hands shaking when I see that Harry
still hadn't texted or called. I call him frantically, phone pressed to my ear
harshly like that would possibly allow me to hear better.
I flinch when I feel a hand on my shoulder, looking up with wide eyes to
see Greg looking down at me. I can hear Mary on the phone with the police,
myself cursing when I hear the beginning of Harry's voicemail. I redial
quickly, turning to Mary and saying, "Ask for DI Spencer and DS Miller.
They're in charge of my case."
I nearly break down when I hear his voicemail for the third time, opting
to call Mike.
"Mike!" I say loudly when I hear him answer.
"Emma? What-"
"Is Harry with you?" I ask as calmly as I can.
"Uh, no."
"When was the last time you saw him?"
"At lunch. I had to leave early, because of a work emergency, and he
opted to stay behind. What's going on, Emma?" He asks, but I hang up on
him, searching for Lu's phone number.
I don't get that far, hearing the sound of sirens. I look up, police cars
turning into the parking lot, and attempt to stand up. Immediately, I start to
sway, grabbing onto someone's arm. I feel a little queazy, head spinning, the
sounds starting to muffle around me. Forcing myself to pay attention, I
move away from whoever I was hanging onto, walking towards the
policeman who's first out of his car.
Everything's a blur, policemen and women, EMT's, whoever was left at
the school. There's so much going on, and someone's shining a light into my
eyes. Finally, I recognize a face, DI Spencer walking briskly towards me
with a stern look on his face.
"How is she?" He asks the lady with the flashlight.
"Minor concussion, some bruising on her hip, elbow, and wrist, but
overall nothing life threatening. I think she's in shock, though."
"Emma?" He stands in front of me, looking into my eyes, "Can you tell
me what happened?"
Everything comes back to me, sound and pain and panic, at his question.
I gasp for air, his hand landing on my shoulder telling me to calm down. I
shake my head, but get ahold of myself enough to say, "Harry? Where's
Harry?"
Spencer's face scrunches up in confusion, "Harry? Your boyfriend? Is he
here?"
"No! He got to him, I know it!" I point at the still unconscious form on a
stretcher, "He- he, uh, attacked me from behind, tried to- tried to-" I
swallow down my fear and shake my head, "He was going to rape me, but I
got loose and hit him in the face and balls. But his face was already fucked
up! I didn't do that, and he said- he said something about hurting someone,
and it's got to be Harry. He's not picking up his phone-"
"Emma, hey, Emma, gonna need you to breathe, love. Let's get you back
to the station so I can question you-" I start to talk, but he talks over me,
"I'll get an officer out looking for Harry, okay?"
By the time I'm sitting in a small break room, empty except me and the
two detectives, I'm not as gone. My head stopped pounding and the world
wasn't spinning anymore. They had me tell them what happened several
times, each time assuring me that they were still looking for Harry.
I felt that awful pressure along my chest again, dread coursing through
my body. Something was wrong. There was no way Harry wasn't hurt. Jake
had to have been with him before coming to the school to find me. I don't
know how he knew I was there, but at this point I didn't care. I just wanted
Harry to rush through the doors and hold me. I needed to feel his warmth,
the feeling of his arms wrapping around me.
"Have you found him?" I asked weakly at the officer that just entered. He
ignored me, pulling both detectives out of the room, and I felt the urge to
scream.
I should've known this would happen, long ago. How had I not known?
Why didn't I take this seriously?
I shoved away the thoughts of Harry lying dead on the ground, my brain
not functioning right every time it flashed through my thoughts. I kept
replaying everything. How careless I was in the parking lot when I had been
so cautious all week. How Jake felt pressed against me, my body shivering
and skin crawling at the memory.
My head jerked up when I heard the door open again, this time just DI
Spencer entering. I felt my stomach drop, eyes starting to tear up at his
expression. I couldn't ask, so I just waited for him to say something.
He sat down back in his seat and said, "We found Harry. He's in the
hospital."
Chapter Fifty-Nine

TRIGGER WARNING - VIOLENCE & RAPE MENTIONS

HARRY
"You going to be staying late at work tonight?" Emma asks, stepping
aside for me to reach over and grab my deodorant.
She looks beautiful, still a little tired in the eyes, but hair and makeup
finished. I don't think she had been sleeping very well since last weekend. I
would lie awake and watch her fall asleep every night, holding her in my
arms. It was like my brain couldn't shut off if she wasn't peacefully lying
next to me.
All week I had been looking over my shoulder, constantly in contact with
Emma throughout the day to make sure she was alright. Every time I sent
out a text or dialed her number it was like my heart would stop beating until
I heard from her. I was utterly terrified that she wouldn't answer one day,
that Jake would've gotten to her. I couldn't even think of what would happen
if he did, painful images flashing in my mind all day.
My anxiety was through the roof, and I think the only reason I hadn't had
a full on panic attack was because of Emma. She made sure to check in
with me while I was working upstairs in the office, coming in occasionally
just for kisses or to give me a quick head massage. I didn't tell her I was
working extra hard so I could have an easy weekend with her, maybe take
her somewhere for a few days again. I had explained to my boss that there
was some family problems happening right now, and that I might be
missing days here and there. I was hoping to take Monday off with her
again, but I saw the worry in her eyes every day, her own anxiety being
pushed away by her instinct to care for me.
She had this way about her that was so calming, something I've known
and craved since that first time together. Emma was a sturdy presence in my
life that kept all the bad things at bay, and even though she was scared she
was more worried about me.
It made me love her even more.
 I felt it in the way she made love to me last night, slow, gentle, with
slight desperation. I could see it in her eyes: how badly she needed me to
feel good. She fell asleep a lot faster last night, neither of us up past
midnight. I knew she was waking up quite a bit in the middle of the night,
me having to wake her up every morning as our alarms sounded, and the
deep bags under her eyes a dead giveaway.
I hated what he was doing to us, but it would be over soon. Emma and I
would be free and safe.
"Don't think so. I'm pretty sure I'm all caught up, so it should be an easy
day if everything goes according to plan." I answer, leaning down to kiss
her cheek. She smiled to herself, making my heart skip a beat. "I'm going to
try and get off an hour earlier today, so that way you aren't home alone for
too long."
She looks at me, and I can see her mind whirling, trying to see how
stressed I was. "Don't worry if you can't, babe. Niall's been following me
home and checking the place out before I come in, and we've got the alarm
system now. I don't want you stressing yourself out, if you don't need to."
I owed Niall a lot. I don't think I would've been able to handle the idea of
her coming home to the house by herself, entering it without knowing it
was completely safe. Even with the alarm system I was panicking.
I sigh, "I know, Em. I'm just getting nervous, because everything's been
so quiet, you know?"
"I know," she say quietly, wrapping her arms around my neck, "but we're
talking with Spencer tomorrow, and soon this will all be over."
I lean down and nudge her nose to the side, and say, "Can't come soon
enough. I love you."
"And I love you."
"I've got to take a wee, so it's your choice if you want to stay-"
"Okay, I'm out."
I'm laughing as she walks out, taking the coffee I made for her a few
minutes ago. I finish my business, and walk out of the bathroom.
Immediately, I feel the tension in the air, looking at Emma, tense and
staring at her phone, "What's wrong?"
I step up to her, her hand coming up to rest on my chest. Her eyes look so
tired, and not because she was sleep, "It's not so quiet anymore."
She gives me her phone, open to a text thread by an unknown number.
From Unknown: He's not always going to be there to protect you.
 From Unknown: What would you do if he was gone? How guilty
would you feel if something happened to him because of you?
From Unknown: He better get one last good fucking from you,
because he'll never touch you again after I'm done with him.
From Unknown: Been dreaming about how good it'll feel to see the
life leave his eyes.
I really couldn't give a shit about him threatening me. I knew he would be
pissed about what happened last Saturday, not getting to finish our fight, so
I was fully expecting this. The next two texts are what got me riled up. I
was so fucking sick of him talking to her like this. I didn't need the mental
image of him touching her running through my mind all day.
From Unknown: Miss the taste of you. But that's okay. Once you're
mine again, I'll tie you up to the bed like you always asked and keep
you there forever. Fuck you until you can't remember him any longer.
From Unknown: Maybe I'll tie him up and make him watch.
The last one made me sick. I clenched my jaw, trying to hold back my
anger, and gave Emma her phone back, "Idiot's really making a case for
himself, isn't he?"
"I've already called in. I'm gonna bring it to the station-"
"Do you want me to come?" I ask her immediately, not wanting her to be
alone.
"No, you need to go to work. I can handle this on my own, babe." She
tells me softly, "But please, be careful. I can't have anything happen to
you."
I scoff, "Please, I hope he comes after me. Gives me a reason to beat the
shit out of him. Can finish what I started last week." The last thing I was
worried about was Jake getting the better of me. I was holding back last
time, and he had gotten a lucky shot to the balls, but there wasn't a chance
that idiot could beat me in a real fight. I had such an urge to track him down
and take care of this on my own, but I knew that would end in disaster.
Emma gave him a hard look, grabbing hold of my chin in her tiny hand
and tilting it down so I'm forced to look her in the eyes, "No, you will not."
"Em-"
"Harry, you will not ever say something like that again, okay?" Her tone
is deadly serious, and I knew just then how terrified she actually was of
what could happen to me. "I don't want you near him. You may think you're
stronger and smarter than him, but he won't hold back. Nothing in him cares
if you die. You, however, are a good person, and you couldn't ever cross
that line. It'll be like playing a handicap match. I will not tolerate you being
hurt just because you think he deserves to get the shit beaten out of him. If
this all goes according to plan, then he'll have enough to deal with in prison.
Do I make myself clear?"
Her tone was strong and powerful, not letting me get too alpha, and I
can't help but smirk and pull her closer to me. "I love it when you get all
bossy." She tries to hold back her smile, but fails so I add, "I promise you I
won't go looking for a fight, and I'll try my best to keep calm if something
happens. But I will defend myself and you if need be."
"Of course. I expect that. Just don't like the fact that he's threatening you
now."
I cock an eyebrow, "How do you think I've been feeling all this time. I'm
actually a little relieved his sights are set on me."
She groans, "Harry, don't say that."
But it was true. The fact that he seemed more focused on me was a relief
I have never felt. My eyes soften as I say quietly, "Emma, my angel, I love
you so much. I could never live without you."
†††
Work was easy today, something I was forever grateful for. I don't think I
would've been able to focus anyhow, especially with Emma not answering
my text. I knew she was at the police station, so she was perfectly safe, and
they probably had to take her phone away for a bit. It didn't stop me from
checking my messages every five minutes, though.
It wasn't until Mike came in to my office did I snap out of it, "Hey, mate,
you ready?"
I look up from my computer, "Yeah, where were you thinking?"
"There's that new deli on Marr Street I wanted to check out." Mike
suggests, and when I make no move to object, he says, "C'mon, I'll drive."
When we're driving out of the carpark, Mike asks, "How's Emma
doing?"
I was glad that none of our friends had asked too many questions about
what went down last weekend, not even Lu had stuck her nose into our
business. The last thing we needed was to worry everyone. Niall was the
only one that really knew what was going on, which probably meant that
Maura knew.
 And now that I was thinking about it, I realized that everyone knew.
Once Maura knew then the girls would know, and there's no way they
wouldn't tell Mike and Oli. Oliver knew some of what's going on, because
I've told him before.
I looked over at Mike, "Um, she's doing good considering."
He winced at me, "Sorry, Naomi told me some of what was going on. I
knew her ex was a piece of work, but I wasn't expecting that. He was
completely psycho last Saturday."
I take in a deep breath, shaking my head, "Yeah, still can't believe that
happened."
"Don't know how you didn't kill the bastard. If I saw someone hit
Naomi.... Fuck, I'd be in jail." He says.
"Believe me, if I had my way I would be, but I've got to think of Em. I
need to protect her, and I can't do that if I'm locked up because I couldn't
keep my temper in check."
"Can't believe she jumped in front of you like that." He says after a
moment of silence, chuckling to himself, "She's a tough bird."
At this I smile, "Yeah, she is. Tougher than I'll ever be. She's the only one
keeping me together right now. Did you know we got into a screaming
match in my car after that?" I tell him.
He looks at me, surprised, "What? Seriously?"
I nod, "Oh yeah, she was pissed that I went after him, and I was livid
about her not staying away."
"So you guys fought over the fact that you were both trying to protect
each other?" Mike asks, "Huh..."
I breathe out a laugh, "I think it was a lot of pent up anger. This whole
thing with her ex has felt like it's been going on for ages, and I only found
out about a month and a half ago. She's been dealing with this since the start
of the summer."
"I can't believe she's didn't tell anyone how bad it was. I would've been
so mad if Naomi kept something like that away from me."
My eyes are trained on the outside world, watching the sidewalks pass by
as we drive through town. Finally, I answer, "I don't know. I don't really
blame her. I might've done the same thing."
"How so?" He asks.
I sigh, "She loved him at one point. As much as I hate to admit it, she
did. He broke her heart, and strung her along like his little play thing. He
warped her mind into thinking no one would love her like he did. I couldn't
imagine someone doing that to me. It would crush me. Then he starts
sending her all those awful texts, and I think at the time she thought she
deserved it." I take a moment to gather my thoughts before continuing,
"Mike, when she first started coming to the gym I noticed her. I could tell
something was eating away at her. She reminded me of me, honestly. She
thought nothing of herself, and losing the guy she loved and all of her
friends, no matter how shitty they were, only proved that to herself."
"You noticed her that long ago?" He asked.
I nodded and continued, "Remember back in Uni when that girl reported
being sexually assaulted by Professor Hutchins, the English Lit teacher?"
He thinks back, "Yeah, completely forgot about that."
"Do you remember how she was treated when she came out?" I asked
him, "Hutchins was one of the most popular professors there. Everybody
loved him, and when she told the police that... Everyone just assumed she
was lying. And he's still working there, whereas she never returned to
school. That's how people treat cases like Emma's. Why would she come
forward just to be doubted and called the crazy ex-girlfriend?"
Mike doesn't answer right away, but eventually says, "I get that. Naomi
didn't even seem fazed by any of it. Makes me wonder what we miss on the
daily. How many times this shit happens and we're ignorant to all of it."
"Exactly," I respond, "I was so bewildered when Emma tried brushing off
the harassment, but when I really stopped to think about it..." I shrug, "I
completely understand. Her coming forward is probably the bravest thing
she'll ever do. This could effect her job, Mike. She loved teaching those
kids, but if Jake doesn't get charged... I don't know."
"Hey," Mike parks the car, and turns to look at me, "let's not worry about
that right now. It's pointless stress you're putting on yourself."
"It's all I think about." I admit, both of us getting out of the car and
walking across the street, "Can't get it out of my head."
"Okay, then I'll distract you."
"And how are you going to do that?"
He thinks for a second, "Tell me about how you two got together, fell in
love. All that soppy shite you hate to talk about so much. Maybe tell me
where you two went off to before Christmas."
I furrow my brows and look at him, "How did you know about that?"
"Luanne."
 †††
"Fuck," Mike grumbles, looking down at his phone in the middle of
lunch, "stupid fucking idiots. I swear, everyone we work with is inept."
"What's going on?" I ask him.
"One of my juniors deleted a whole spreadsheet that needed to be sent
out today, and he doesn't know how to rewrite it. Moron."
"You need to go?"
He sighs, "Yeah, want to take everything to go?"
I shrug, "Why don't you head out. Feel like finishing my lunch here. I'll
just get a cab, yeah?"
"You sure?" Mike asks.
I nod, "Yeah, don't worry about. Think I need a little time to myself
anyways. I'm nearly done with all my work, so I might take some extra time
away from the office."
"Okay, well, I need to head out. I'll see you tonight at Hartford's?"
"Yep, have fun." I tease.
He flips me the bird, packing up the rest of his sandwich and walks out. I
eat in silence, checking my phone, but still nothing. I decide against a taxi.
The sun was out and the office really wasn't that far. Fresh air felt good
after locking myself away all day. The windows in my office didn't open, so
the only time I got away from the stuffiness of that building was during
lunch.
I turned down a small street, mostly meant for pedestrians, not a lot of
space for cars to come by. Small businesses lined the street, only a handful
of people walking at this time. It was a little late for lunch, most people
back at their offices at this time. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, hands
flying to it to see a text from Emma.
From Angel: Just got my phone back. I'm still talking to the
detectives. Love you 😇❤
I'm about to respond when I hear, "How did she feel?"
I turned around quickly, the sound of Jake's voice burned into my brain.
He was leaning casually against the corner of a wall, to his side a small
alleyway. I look around us, only a few people here and there, but no one
near. I didn't see a cop or anyone watching us from a car, making me realize
he must have slipped his tail.
"What do you want?" I ask him, eyes now trained on his figure. I stayed
where I was, not daring to step closer.
 "I want you to tell me how she felt the last time you fucked her." He
replied calmly, as if nothing was wrong with his question.
I clench my jaw, my promise to Emma replaying in my mind, "Shut the
fuck up, Jake."
"I hope she was nice and tight for ya." He places his hands in his pockets,
"And wet. Fuck, she used to get so wet and needy for me. That was my
favorite part."
"I told you to-"
"I hope it was good for you... memorable." He smiles at me, "Can I ask
you a question?"
"No."
"Do you tie her up? Whip her ass until her cheeks are red?" He smirks at
my obvious rage, "I think that's what I regret the most: not trying things
with her. I'll make sure that changes this time, though."
"That's never going to happen." I step forward, pointing my finger at him,
"You're never gonna touch her again."
Jake tilts his head, looking at me with a confused expression, "But don't
you see, Harry. I will touch her again. Many times, because that's how it's
supposed to be. Emma and I... we're soulmates-"
"No." I march towards him, but stay a few feet away, having some
control over myself, "You're delusional if you think she would ever let you
near her again."
"Why does it matter if she lets me? I've done my research, and I know all
about rape fantasies. You see," he starts conversationally, ignoring how that
word effected me, "this has all been her little game. I know it. She wants me
to chase her. She wants me to force myself on her. Reclaim her, show her
she's mine, that I own her. You... well, you're just a tool she used to get my
attention back on her."
"I suggest you shut the fuck up, or-" I grit out, trying to control my
breathing.
"Or what?" He asks tauntingly, "What are you going to do?"
I don't answer right away, my eyes sweeping over him. I realize that he
isn't as calm as he is trying to make me believe. His posture is supposedly
lax, but his shoulders are hunched, and I can tell his hands are tightly fisted.
He's playing a game, and I'm falling right into it.
"I don't need to do anything, Jake. The police will do it all for me." I tell
him, backing up slightly.
 His eyes flash, "Yes, I know. You two love the police, don't you? They've
been a bit of a menace, following me around everywhere. Had to sneak out
of my house last night to get to yours."
My body freezes, "What?"
He smirks at me, "Had some plans set for last night. Things change,
though. I watched your house all night, waiting to see if one of you would
come out. Either would do." Her shrugs, "Would've been satisfied by killing
you or fucking Emma while you were inside waiting for her to return." He
smiles grossly, "Then I made a new plan... Decided I was going to follow
Emma home after school, surprise her as she's entering the house, and tie
her up on your bed. Make her mine while she's surrounding by all things
you. I was going to tape it, and leave it for you. Figured that might be worse
for you than dying."
It was taking everything in me not to snap, the image of him coming up
behind her, hands on her body, tying her to our bed-
I was actually going to puke. I swallowed down my emotions, gathering
myself to say, "That's never going to happen."
"You're right." He agrees easily, "Followed you two to the police station,
and I realized that you needed to be gone - out of the way - before Emma
and I could fulfill our destiny."
"Your destiny?" I ask incredulously, deciding to flip his little game
around. I laugh ruefully, "Please, if you were destined for each other than
why did you leave her?"
"I-"
"Why did you get another girlfriend, and stop seeing Emma?"
"I was confused-"
"And why did she make love to me last night?"
He snapped faster than expected, lunging forward, fisting at my shirt
collar and throwing me into the alleyway. I slammed into a large trash bin,
falling onto my side. My eyes stay on him, though, as I scramble back up,
his hand digging back into his pocket and pulling out his pocketknife.
When Emma had told me that, I was thinking a regular sized pocketknife,
but this was much bigger. His thumb pressed a little button on the side, a
serrated knife popping out quickly. I back up further into the alley, bracing
myself for his attack.
"Don't you dare fucking talk about her like that!" He hisses at me.
"Emma. Is. Mine."
 I was ready to beat the shit out of this guy, wanting him to feel every bit
of pain he's caused her, but I was going to fight smart. I needed him to lose
his cool even more, become reckless and sloppy.
"That wasn't what she was saying last night-"
He grunted, flying forward again, this time the knife coming right for my
stomach. My reflexes are fast, years of learning and teaching self-defense
and boxing coming in handy. My right hand flings down to grab his wrist,
swaying it over so it wouldn't hit me while the heel of my palm struck his
throat.
I twisted his wrist, hearing the sound of the knife fall to the ground mixed
in with his wheezing. I wasn't done though, rearing my arm back to throw
my fist directly at his face. The feeling of my knuckles against his skin and
bone was glorious, the melody of his bones cracking was music to my ears.
My hand left his wrist, bunching up his shirt in my fist, and backing him
up against the trash bin. My fist connected over and over to his face, blood
pouring out of his nose and mouth, bruising already taking place. I could
tell my hand was broken, or at least fractured, but nothing could stop me.
He needed to pay for what he did, for all the heinous plans he had made.
Images of him on top of Emma as she screamed flashed into my head,
making me angrier and angrier. I lost myself, allowing him to push me back
with all the strength he had, his shirt ripping from my fist clenching at the
fabric.
He throws a weak punch to my side, but it's enough for me to turn away
from him for a second. I don't notice his hand reaching out to grab
something, my head turning back around right before a flash of something
flies towards me.
My head whips around, immense pain at my hairline splitting through
me, but I stumbled to stay up. I grab onto something to steady me, and turn
to race forward when I felt the same pain for a moment.
And then everything goes black.
Chapter Sixty

EMMA
I stormed into the hospital like a mad woman.
Nothing could stop the hideous thoughts running around through my
head. All I knew was Harry was in the hospital. My Harry was hurt enough
to be here. I had completely freaked out at the station, demanding for
Spencer or Miller or anyone to drive me to the hospital right at that instant.
He kept trying to talk to me in the car, but all I heard was head injury and
CT scan. It all just sent me further down the drain, my panic levels rising. I
was trying to keep my breathing steady, but it wasn't working.
DI Spencer led me to the elevators and rode up with me, trying to talk me
down. There was no calming me, though, not until I spoke to Harry myself.
Not until I could see his green eyes and smile, and hear him say that he
loves me.
We walked briskly through the halls, Spencer on his phone talking. My
head was whipping back and forth, peering into the rooms we passed as if
he would be in one of the beds, awake and waiting for me.
We turned one last corner, a doctor standing with her back to us on the
phone. She turns around, spotting us and hangs up. Her eyes are set on the
detective next to me, as she says, "Alec, he's just over here."
"Okay, Emma," Spencer looked down at me, "we're pretty sure this is
Harry, but we need an identification-"
"What? Why?" My thoughts immediately go to his face being
unrecognizable.
"He didn't come in with an ID. That's why it took us so long to find him.
We called around to all the stations and hospitals for someone matching his
description. Miranda," he glances at the doctor, "thinks Harry's in there. The
tattoos match."
I take a deep breath, "Okay, okay, let's go."
 I let them walk in first, suddenly feeling hesitant. I didn't want to see him
like this, but I needed to see him at the same time. I knew the guilt would
come crashing down on me if I saw him beaten and bloodied, this whole
thing being my fault. I should've had Harry come with me to the police
station this morning. I shouldn't have let him leave my sight after I got
those texts this morning. He had been so vigilant all week to keep me safe,
yet I had pushed him to go to work, to be away from me.
I looked up from the floor to see him lying in a hospital bed. My fears
left me, rushing to his side. As my hand gently encases his, I look over him.
He had a cast on his left arm and his head was bandaged up, but other than
that he looked fine. There was no bruises or scratches on him, almost like
Jake hadn't gotten a good hit in.
"What's wrong with him?" I ask, not taking my eyes off his peaceful
looking face.
"Came into the emergency room a few hours ago with a head wound and
broken hand." She answers immediately, typing on her iPad, "We took him
for scans, and luckily we don't see a hematoma, no hemorrhaging, or skull
fractures, but when he came to he was very... loopy." I could tell she used
that word for my benefit, trying to make it seem less severe. "Basically, he
has a really bad concussion, so we placed him in a medically induced coma-
"
"What?! For how long?" One of my hands flung up to my heart, fisting at
my jumper. My heart was beating rapidly while I tried to keep my breathing
even, so I wouldn't completely lose it.
"Just for the night. Twelve hours to be exact." She assures me calmly,
"We wanted to give him enough time to heal himself, so we'll take him off
it at six in the morning, and then we'll wait for him to wake up on his own."
I swallow down my fear, "But he'll wake up, right?"
"That's up to him. Sometimes it takes patients an hour to wake, but I've
also seen it take nearly forty-eight hours." She tells me.
I close my eyes, rolling my head back. Holding my tears back, I take one
big breath, and say, "Okay, um, I need to call his family."
"I've already sent off his name to a nurse, and she's calling his emergency
contact." She looks at Spencer for a second, and then turns to me with
sympathy, "Now, I'm going to need you to leave the room-"
"I can't stay?" I ask pitifully, my voice cracking and eyes filling up with
tears.
 "We have to have some stuff to do. We still need to insert a catheter, and
we need to study his brain activity to make sure he's fully functioning-"
I let out a sob, my hand flying up to cover my mouth. DI Spencer comes
to my side, his hand on my shoulder, "It's going to be okay, Emma."
I shake my head and step away from him. I retake Harry's hand in mine
and lean down to kiss his lips, moving them to his ear to whisper, "Harry,
baby, I need you to come back to me. I'm safe and everything's going to
okay from now on, I promise. I love you."
Reluctantly, I let Spencer lead me out of the room, walking me to the
waiting room. It was practically empty and cold. It was very cold. I didn't
feel any better seeing Harry, my dread and worry now moving away from
"where is he" territory to "will he ever wake up and be him again".
It was awful, and I had to sit on my hands to stop myself from googling
head injuries and concussions. I was staring blankly at the floor, running
through the days events. Everything at the school seemed so far away, like
this was the longest day from hell. I vaguely felt half of my face throbbing,
adrenaline running low so I'm feeling the full effect of his assault on me.
Spencer had gone off somewhere to make a call, trying to piece together
what had happened. When he came back about twenty minutes later I could
tell he was going to speak to me, but the words left my mouth quicker than I
thought they could.
"I thought you were watching Jake?"
I looked up, and saw his face flash annoyed, not necessarily at me, but at
the situation we were in, "Yes, I had a tail put on him, but he seemed to
have slipped it."
"But-" I struggled to comprehend his excuse, "Didn't they know he was
dangerous? Why would they be so careless? He wasn't supposed to be able
to go near me, and there should've been someone to stop him from hurting
Harry."
"Emma-"
"No, just stop!" I yell suddenly, standing up and pacing, "I came to you
this morning, showing you proof that he was after Harry. He literally
threatened his life and you didn't take that seriously!"
"I promise you we did-"
"If you did then Harry wouldn't be in a fucking coma right now!" I was
furious, every bit of emotion turning to anger, eyes nearly boiling over with
tears, "If you knew how to do your job properly then none of this would've
happened!" I rush towards him, pushing him back, "Why didn't you work
faster?" My hands meet his chest again, pushing him further back. "Why
didn't Michael the tech guy give enough of a shit to just retrieve the stupid
fucking texts faster?"
"Emma, stop-" But he didn't make a move to stop me, instead taking the
brunt of my anger, both verbally and physically.
"No! Harry's gone! He's gone because of you!" My worst fears were at
the forefront of my mind, my thoughts becoming jumbled and breathing
wild. As if I already lost him.
Suddenly, I felt arms wrap around my body, lifting me up and pulling me
away, just like Harry had done last weekend. I squirmed not knowing who
was touching me, but calmed a bit when I heard Oliver's low tone in my ear,
"Emma, you need to calm down. You can't assault a police officer."
He sets me down, feet hitting the floor, and my eyes immediately meet a
fearful Lu's. "Em, what's going on? Is Harry okay?"
I force myself to calm down, knowing now was not the time to panic. I
breathe in a sharp breath, Lu stepping forward, taking my hand, and leading
me to a seat. "He, um, my ex-" I didn't want to finish the sentence, guilt
pouring back into me, "I'm sorry!" I cry out, tears spilling down my face,
"I'm so sorry!"
"Okay, babe, it's okay. I don't blame you for any of this, okay?" She tells
me softly, cupping my face, but when I flinch at her touch, my face
sensitive and sore. She winces, taking in my face for the first time. I haven't
had a chance to look at myself in the mirror, but I knew it must've looked
really bad. "Oli?" She looks up at her boyfriend, "Can you find out what
happened? I don't want Em to have a panic attack or something."
My eyes widen at her words, wondering how she knew, but then I
realized that my breathing was even more uneven and ragged than before.
Being in front of Lu was making me panic, sure she was going to blame me
for this.
"I'm sorry." I repeat, "It's my fault. It's all my fault."
"Emma, stop." She said firmly, "Look at me." My wide eyes flicker up to
hers, blinking furiously as more tears fall. "This is not your fault. Whatever
happened was not because of you, okay?"
I was shaking my head because she didn't know. She didn't know that my
ex had tracked him down and tried to kill him because he was with me. She
kept trying to reassure me as I focused more on my breathing. I couldn't
have a panic attack right now. I needed to be here for Harry.
Things started to blur around me, time passing without me noticing.
Hazily, I remember Oli kneeling before us, telling Lu about Harry's injuries.
I think at one point Lu takes my phone and calls my mom to let her know
what was going on, but I shut that out too. Niall, Maura, Mike, and Naomi
all arrived at some point, Niall fretting over my face, but I don't think I said
a word to any of them.
I couldn't. I couldn't form any words, my head just filled with horrible
scenarios.
I started second guessing all my choices, wondering if I should've had
him arrested last weekend after the first fight. Then Harry wouldn't be here
right now. But maybe it would've happened later, once he was out.
There was no happy ending.
"Emma, honey?"
I look up confused, knowing that voice. My mum was standing before
me, soft and sad eyes peering down at me. "Mum?" My voice cracked and I
found myself crying again.
She's immediately sitting down next to me, Luanne getting up and
leaving us to ourselves. Her arm wraps around my shoulder and hugs me to
her body.
"Harry- he's-" I try to say, but it still won't come out.
"Shh, I know, sweetie. Luanne told me over the phone." Her voice was
calm and soothing just like it was when I was growing up. "Harry's going to
be fine. He's just taking a needed rest for the night, and tomorrow you'll be
able to talk to him."
"But what if-"
"None of that." She shuts me up instantly, "Now what the hell happened
to your face?"
I pull back, wiping my tears off my cheeks, hissing when I forget about
the giant bruise on my face. I'm no longer on the verge of a panic attack,
breathing somewhat back to normal even though there's still a great
pressure on my chest.
"Uh, Jake... he slipped his tail and ambushed me at the school in the
parking lot."
I look up reluctantly, meeting her eyes to see her eyes more serious than
I've ever seen them. "And where is that boy now?" She asked steadily, but I
backed away at the obvious fury.
"I don't actually know. Probably at the station." I answer, realizing I
hadn't given present-Jake one thought since he was unconscious. "Last I
saw, he was knocked out cold."
"What do you mean?" My mom asks.
"I mean, I smashed his face into my car window."
She blinks at me, "Well, I guess you took care of him. I was thinking I
was going to have to track him down and rip his prick off."
I smile weakly, "He was already messed up from Harry, so I didn't have
to do too much."
"Emma," My mother's soft tone was back, "you know he's going to be
okay. That boy would fight god himself to get back to you."
I exhale a long breath, "I'm so scared, mum. And all of this could've been
prevented-"
"We don't live in the land of what-ifs, sweetheart." She interrupts me, "If
that were so, then we would never get anything done. The truth of the
matter is that this happened, and you can't let your fears and worries bring
you down. It'll destroy you if you keep sitting here all night wondering what
you could've done differently to prevent this."
I don't answer, instead nodding slowly after a few seconds. I knew she
was right. I knew I had been doing nothing but stewing in my own self pity
for the past few hours. I kept saying I needed to be there for Harry, yet here
I was, so I pushed away those damning thoughts and gathered myself.
"Okay, I'm good." I assure both her and me.
"Good, now go talk to your friends." She nudges her head towards the
group of people I've basically ignored the entire time. "I need to call Peter
and tell him you're alright. Emma, don't give me that look." She warns,
"He's trying."
I don't say anything, instead deciding to leave her to it, and walk
sheepishly over to my friends. Lu notices me first, her body being the only
one facing mine. She smiles sadly at me, and says, "How you feeling, Em?"
I clear my throat, still groggy from crying earlier, "I'm good. Sorry about
that."
The rest turned to look at me, Niall sighing, and tilting my chin up to get
a better look at my face, "Did that bastard do this?"
I looked away, "Yeah, but I took care of him."
 "Babe, that looks..." Maura starts, grimacing when she gets a better look
at it, "Oh, hun..."
"What do you mean, you took care of him?" Mike asked, arms folding
and looking at me seriously. This was the most "adult" I had ever seen him
look before, his face usually adorned by a smile and bright, mischievous
eyes.
I smile at this, "Got a few good elbow shots in, and kneed him right in
the balls."
"Yeah?" His smile creeped back, pride in his eyes.
I nod, "Then I broke his face against my car."
Naomi's jaw drops, "What? You what?"
I breathe out a laugh, "I was so pissed that I grabbed onto the back of his
hair and smashed his face against my car window. Shattered it, so I'm gonna
need that fixed."
"I know a guy. Don't worry, I'll get that done for you." Oli waves me off
quickly, "So you took him out all by yourself?"
I shrug, "Well, I think Harry got to him pretty bad. His face was covered
in blood and already bruised and swollen by the time he got to me. Harry
didn't even look that bad."
"You got to see him?" Lu asked.
"Yeah, I had to identify him, because he didn't have his wallet and,
apparently, when he woke up he was... out of it." I tell her, hands fidgeting
with each other.
"So, he's in a coma." Lu says, "But they're going to take him out of it in
the morning?"
I sigh, "That's what the doctor told me. Said his head needed a little rest."
"He'll be awake tomorrow morning then?" Naomi asks.
"I'm not sure. She said that it could take a while for him to wake up on
his own."
Everyone's silent, Lu nodding to herself, taking in the information. We sit
down in the corner, a couch and few chairs empty for us. Occasionally, one
of us will say something, starting a small conversation that dies out soon
after.
It was probably another hour when my head lifts off my mom's shoulder -
who joined us after speaking with Peter - at the sound of Lu's voice, "Mom,
Dad!"
 She was waving over her parents, both looking stressed and tired. It was
late at night, and they had been driving for four hours to get down here.
They rush up, Amy saying, "Lu, is everything okay? Oh my god, Emma,
your face!"
I shrunk down a bit, getting tired of people fussing over me when Harry
was the one unconscious. "I'm fine, seriously-"
She walks over to me, pulling me up into a hug. I'm shocked at first, but
end up relaxing against her. She whispers in my ear, "I'm so glad you're
okay, dear. I'm sorry this happened."
"That's a right shiner, but you'll be good in no time." Harry's dad, Peter,
said, inspecting my face closer. "Lu gave us the lowdown on everything.
Heard you kicked the shit out of this guy."
I laugh, the action feeling foreign, "Yeah, he's pretty fucked."
His parents smiled and chuckled, his mom saying softly, "Harry'll be fine,
Emma. That boy's a stubborn git who would be damned if he went out with
a little concussion."
My heart swelled, me a few hours ago convinced that they were going to
hate me for getting him involved in the first place, but they were just as
sweet as always. I introduce them to my mom after they greeted everyone,
pulling Lu and Oliver into a hug. The parents sit down and talk for a while,
and eventually Lu and I convince Niall, Mike, Maura, and Naomi to head
home and get some sleep. Niall kisses my forehead before he leaves,
reassuring me that things are going to be alright.
It wasn't for another thirty minutes that the doctor came back out to speak
with us.
"Okay, we ran a few more tests, and everything is looking good. His
brain activity seems normal and he isn't swelling anywhere which is a great
sign." She tells us, "We will be taking him out of the coma around six this
morning. It's late so he can't have visitors, but if a family member would
like to stay in the room overnight, you can."
Everyone immediately looks at me, but the doctor's expression turns sad,
"I'm sorry, but family only."
My heart sunk, shrinking a bit, but I looked at Amy, and said, "It's fine.
I'll see him tomorrow morning when he wakes up."
"Honey, I'm sorry." Amy says softly.
I shrug, "He's your son. It's okay. I'll stay out here tonight."
"Are you sure? You can go back home and sleep in a real bed-"
 "No, I'll stay here." I interrupt, knowing there's no way in hell I'm leaving
this hospital until Harry is walking out with me.
†††
HARRY
My body ached before I even opened my eyes. I didn't particularly want
to open them, but then I felt something twitch in my hand. Reluctantly, I
blinked them open just barely, my eyes sensitive to the light. My body felt
heavy, like a weight was pressing it down onto the bed, but this wasn't my
bed. My bed was much more comfortable.
Faintly, I heard beeping and someone talking, eyes finally focusing. The
first thing I can comprehend is my hand lying uselessly at my side, a
smaller one just barely holding on, looking like we fell asleep holding them.
It looked so delicate and soft, the caramel color of their skin alluring.
And then I saw the ring. A small rose gold ring, medal pulled in elegant
swirls to make a rose perched at the top.
I hear the beeping behind me speed up, everything coming back to me.
My eyes dart up her arm, perched on the bed, her face buried in the crook of
her elbow as she sleeps. My hand tightens around hers, feeling it twitch
again as she dreams.
She's okay. My angel is safe, next to me, sleeping at my side. The
warmth of her hand feels like it's giving life back to me, becoming more
awake by the second. I still feel like my body is weighed down by rocks,
but my head lolls to the side.
In the corner of the room I see my mom and Kate whispering, coffees in
their hands. I take a second to survey my surroundings, realizing I'm in a
hospital room, which also explains the annoying beeping. I look down at
my covered body, eyes landing on the cast on my left hand. I furrow my
brows, taking a moment to remember what had actually happened.
I sigh heavily, my head achey where I was struck twice by whatever dirty
weapon he picked up off the ground in the alley. This caught mine and
Emma's moms attention, both rushing forward to check on me.
"Harry, honey, how are you feeling?" My mum asks softly.
"Um," my voice is hoarse, but I power through, "heavy."
"And you remember who you are, right? You remember us?" Kate asks,
clarifying when I chuckle, "Emma's been driving herself insane. Finally
gave in and googled head injuries, reading too much stuff on amnesia."
"Had to take her phone away from her." My mom adds.
 I groan, squeezing her hand, "Of course she did. How long have I been
here?"
"Over a day now." Mom answers, "They put you in a coma so your head
could heal faster, and took you off it at six this morning. It's almost eight
now, so we've been waiting fourteen hours for your lazy ass to wake up."
"Fuck..." I breathe out, feeling like I was hit by a freight train.
"Emma's been beside herself. Didn't sleep at all last night out in the
waiting room, and hasn't left your side since they let her in the room." She
continues.
My heart clenches, knowing how freaked out I would've been if it had
been the other way around, "How long has she been asleep?"
"Only about an hour, but I think she'll be pissed if we don't wake her up."
Kate says.
She'll be livid if I don't wake her up, but I ask my mom, "And dad? Lu?"
"They're out getting dinner for us with Oli."
I nod slowly, looking back down at Emma. I shakily lift our hands,
resting them on my stomach, "Em, Emma..."
She whines just like she does when I try and wake her up in the mornings
for work. I smile weakly, saying again louder, "Emma, angel, wake up for
me." Her head starts moving, her messy bun flopping around as she starts to
wake up. I squeeze her hand again, causing her to look up.
It's like the air leaves my entire body as I finally see her face. I was
expecting to feel elated and warm, but instead guilt and pain fill me up
when I see half her face covered in a grossly discolored bruise.
"What the fuck?!" I ask incredulously, beeping speeding up as adrenaline
pumps through me. I'm finally able to shift myself up, ignoring the pain at
the same time she finally comes to, her eyes widening.
She stands up quickly, tears filling her eyes, "Harry?"
I hold back my growing anger, remembering she's been waiting for me
all day. "Angel, I'm okay, I'm okay."
She leans down, knee on the bed, and starts crying into my chest. I bring
my hand up to play with her hair, but I forget it's in a cast, not a lot of
movement available for me. It takes awhile for me to calm her down, all her
emotions spilling over in relief. Finally, she lifts her head, eyes puffy and
red, and chokes out, "I love you."
A smile forms on my face, "I love you. Can I get a kiss?"
"No, I've got snot everywhere." She pouts.
 My laughs hurt my head, turning into pathetic groans. Emma frowns, her
soft hand coming up to cup my jaw softly as not to hurt me, "Take it easy,
baby. How are you feeling?"
"No, you're going to tell me what happened to your face first." I say
firmly.
"We're gonna step out for a few minutes. Give you some alone time." My
mom interrupts, squeezing my arm, "Love you, honey."
"Love you too, Mum." I answer, saying goodbye to Kate, as well. When
they shut the door behind them I look at her pointedly, "Well?"
She looks down, but starts telling me what had happened. It took
everything in me not to wrestle my way out of here and track him down. I
wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead and gone, and unable to ever touch
her again. Hell, I couldn't even handle him thinking about touching her like
that ever again. The more she told me the sicker I felt. I couldn't imagine
the utter panic and fear she must've felt, but I've also never felt prouder.
My angel didn't need anyone to save her. She had done that all by herself.
I let out a tear and chuckle when she told me how she rendered him
unconscious, seeing how pleased she was with herself. She wiped it away
from me, her far hand on the opposite side of the bed next to my body,
keeping her upright, my arm resting on her lap, unbroken hand toying with
the hem of her jumper.
"I was so scared." She whispered.
"I'm so sorry, angel." I answer softly, "I'm sorry he even got to you-"
"No, I'm talking about you." She interrupts, "When I saw him already
fucked up I knew he got to you. I couldn't find you for so long, and then
when I did you were-"
We were both interrupted by the door opening, a nurse walking in, "Oh,
look who's awake. How are you feeling, hun?"
Emma crawls off the bed, ignoring my pouting face and pawing hand,
giving the nurse enough room to do her job. It seems to take forever, me
desperately wanting to get back to the conversation we were having before,
but then another person enters the room.
"Harry, it's good to see you awake." DI Spencer says to me.
I send him a tight-lipped smile, Emma returning to my bedside as the
nurse slips out. "Did you catch the bastard? Is he locked up?"
"I'll tell you two all about it, but first I need your full statement of
yesterday's events. You remember everything?" He asks, coming closer.
 "Yeah," I try to sit up, but I'm still sore everywhere, my head injury
effecting my whole body.
Emma steadies me, reaching over to grab a little remote, and hands it to
me. "This controls the bed. If you want to sit up, just press this..."
I do as she says, slowly lifting, and immediately feeling more
comfortable, "Right, well, I was at lunch with Mike - my friend and
coworker - but he had to leave early, because of a work emergency. Told
him I would take a taxi, but decided to walk-"
"You what?!" Emma asked incredulously.
In hindsight, I do realize how stupid that was in our situation, knowing if
Emma had done that I would've blown a gasket. "I know, I'm sorry. I just
wanted some fresh air." I tell her. She narrows her eyes at me, and I know
this conversation isn't done with, but turn back to Spencer, "Anyways, I was
walking down Heckle Street when he caught my attention."
"How do you mean?" Spencer asks as he writes everything down.
I clear my throat, remembering his words, "He was baiting me. Trying to
get me angry by saying shit about Emma. Nasty stuff, but I didn't do
anything. Realized he was playing me, and tried to back off." I hesitate
before adding, "But I did egg him on..."
I glanced at Emma, who looked beyond pissed at me. Spencer lifted his
head, "By?"
I sigh, closing my eyes for a second, "I started to rub the fact that Emma
was with me in his face. Just wanted to see him angry."
"Unbelievable." Emma mutters.
I continue, "He got mad faster than I expected, pulled me into the
alleyway and pulled out a knife."
"What type of knife?"
"A large pocketknife. Serrated, popped out of the holder instead of the
regular pull out style." I answer, "He came at me after a few more... choice
words, and I disarmed him-"
"How did you manage that?" Spencer asks, looking up.
"I've been taking and teaching self-defense and boxing since I was
sixteen." I say simply.
He raises an eyebrow, "I'm guessing you've taught Emm some moves
then?"
I smile, "Yeah, me and Mike at the gym. Nearly three or four times a
week. She's a fast learner." I look over at her, to see her arms crossed not
looking impressed, but her eyes meet mine for a split second. In that
second, I see her eyes flash with love before turning back into disapproval.
"So I caught his wrist as he went to stab me, twisted it and he dropped it as
I struck his throat. I then backed him up into the trash bin, and started to
punch him. I lost control a bit, he took advantage and was able to push me
off. I took a punch to the side, turned for just a fraction of a second, and the
next thing I knew he hit me in the head with... something."
"You didn't see what it was?"
I shake my head, ignoring the effort it took to just do that, "It was already
moving too fast. I think he had to hit me twice with it. It gets a little blurry
right there, but I'm sure of the rest."
"Alright," he turns off his recording on his phone, and finished writing
down his notes. "That matches up with what we've got on CCTV, as well as,
the owner of the bakery shop connected to the alleyway you were found in.
He's the one who called an ambulance for you. Found an old, rusted pipe
with blood on it. We're getting that Charlie's for prints and blood."
"So what does this mean?" Emma asks, her arms uncrossing, hand
blindly finding mine like a magnet.
"I've been working on putting all the pieces together last night." Spencer
starts, "Emma, you were right to be angry with me. The officer assigned to
tail Jake was watching the front of his house. Jake slipped out the back,
hopped the fence into his neighbors, and continued that all the way down
the street. We found CCTV footage of him hot-wiring a car about a block
away, and tracked him to your neighborhood. He followed you two to the
station, and then Harry to his office building, where he staked out for a few
hours until he saw you and your friend leaving the car park. From there, I
believe he just got lucky with you walking home. He got out of the car and
followed you down the street where he started to harass you.
"We found your phone and wallet in the car he used to drive to the school
where he found Emma." He looks at her, "You had texted Harry that you
were meeting with your boss, so he knew exactly where you were going to
be. Otherwise, we believe he would've gone and waited back at your house
to ambush you."
"Okay, so this is it, right? We don't have to wait around any longer?" I
ask.
"Once he gets out of the hospital, he will be charged with attempted
murder, attempted sexual assault, breaking and entering, destruction of
property, stalking, grand theft auto, petty theft, and we also found cocaine at
his residence, so possession of an illegal substance. Just with the murder
and sexual assault charges he will be getting life in prison."
Emma and I were both silent. I don't think either had been expecting a
life sentence. This meant that we were free forever. We could live our lives
peacefully, and never have to worry. We both speak at the same time:
"Life and no chance of parole?"
"He's in this hospital, right now?"
I look at Emma, who was glaring at Spencer, who answers her question
first, "You two did quite a number on him. Harry broke... well, his face,
and, Emma, did nothing to help it."
Not going to lie: that made me very happy. I liked knowing he was going
to have to suffer, but the thought of him in the same building as us also
made me angry.
"Don't tell my mum." Emma says, "She'll track him down if you do."
Spencer laughs, "You two don't need to worry. He's got a guard at his
door at all hours of the day, and is being treated as a hostile perp. And, there
will be no chance for parole if we play it right at the trial, but that all
depends on how he pleads. Can't do much about that now."
"But it's over?" Emma asks hesitantly, and I know it's because it seems
too good to be true.
Spencer nods, "Yes, it's over."
Hours later, after DI Spencer left, after our family came back with dinner,
and after I begged the nurse to let Emma stay the night with me, we were
alone again. Emma had snuck up onto my bed after the nurse turned the
lights off and closed the door. There wasn't a lot of room, but that didn't
matter to us.
"I love you." I whisper into the darkness, her head resting on my chest.
"I'm still so mad at you."
I smile, huffing out a laugh, "I know. I was monumentally stupid, and I'll
never do anything like that again, I promise." I pause before saying, "I'm
sorry I couldn't protect you."
"Harry," she says softly, lifting her head and resting her chin on my pec,
"you did. Shit just happens sometimes."
"I want to kill him." I admit angrily.
I felt her hand gently turn and tilt my face down, "You're not that type of
man."
 "I just-" I swallow down my emotions, "The fact that he even got far
enough to touch you like that... I just keep thinking of what could've
happened, and it would've been my-"
"I swear to god, Harry, if you finish that sentence." She reprimanded me
sternly, "Do you know how much I blamed myself all day yesterday for
what happened to you? How many different scenarios flashed through my
head?" I sigh in understanding, but she continues, "This was never either of
our faults. The only person to blame is Jake, and he will serve the rest of his
life in prison because of it."
I close my eyes, moving her back into position, so I can rest my head
against hers. "I don't think you'll ever understand how much I love you. It's
like... like you're my source of air and sunshine. You brighten my day and
make my life worthwhile. I can't even properly explain it, Emma."
"I'm your everything." She replies after a full minute of silence, her voice
soft and full of love.
I smile, breathing out, "Yes, you are."
It's another minutes before she says, "I hope you know that you're my
everything, too, Harry."
Chapter Sixty-One

HARRY
Seeing Emma with my family was like nothing I've ever felt. Just the
way they welcomed her so naturally into the family made my heart melt.
When we drove up to my parents one weekend, weeks after the incident,
Lu and Oliver in the back forcing us to play road trip games, I knew that
this was the start. Everything had felt so high stakes before, our lives
literally being in danger, but now we could take our time.
When I had gotten out of the hospital a few days later, Emma and I were
inseparable. I was on medical leave, Mike and a few others I worked with
splitting up my job between them, and Emma had gotten two weeks paid
vacation. She told me that her principal wanted her to take some time to
heal and come to terms with what happened - and I don't think she wanted
the kids to see their teacher like that. She requested Lauren to take her class,
meeting up with her to give her her lesson plans and notes.
Lauren had been horrified when she heard what happened. Jake had
pretty much left her alone after she had broken up with him, setting his
sights solely on my angel. And I guess me. I still had a cast on, but my
concussion had healed quickly. Emma was careful with me, though,
refusing to get too intimate, but once she decided I was healthy enough was
when she did it.
I finally got the full brunt of her anger. She spent hours lecturing me on
how stupid I was to egg Jake on, especially when I promised her I would try
and keep my cool. I made the mistake of trying to defend myself, receiving
a look that shut me up quickly. It didn't stop her from refraining from sex.
Again.
Needless to say, it had been a long two weeks.
It didn't really matter, though, because I had her. I still fell asleep holding
her, still kissed her in the shower and when we decided to take a bath, made
her coffee for her in the morning. And now we could do it in peace.
 During our time off we had decided to finally start cleaning up her old
apartment, and helped Millie and baby Emma move out of hers. She had
called her parents, who were shocked and saddened that she felt she had to
keep something like that away from them. She decided that she needed to
be with them, so she was moving back home. Emma held back her tears as
the moving van drove down the street, but I knew how happy she was for
Millie and her family. Plus, she only lived an hour away, so it was easy
drive to visit her best friend and godchild.
"You gonna be okay?" I asked her over a glass of red wine.
She nods, pouting, "I guess so. It's just going to be weird not living so
close. Now I only have you to try my recipes out on."
I breathed out a laugh, "I love trying your cooking."
"Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah, you'll make a great housewife." I joked.
She gave me a look, "Please, we both know you're going to be the one
wanting to stay home with the kids."
I grin and shrug, "I'd make a great house-husband."
Emma snorted, "I like the sound of that."
"Move in with me."
She nearly chokes on her wine, eyes wide, and surprise clear on her face,
"What?"
"Move in with me." I repeated.
She doesn't answer right away, blinking at me with her blue eyes,
"Really?"
I chuckle, "C'mon, angel, are you really that surprised? You've basically
already moved in. Your lease is up at your old place. Millie's not there
anymore... It's sounds like perfect timing."
"I mean, yeah..." She says quietly.
"Been dying to ask you for forever now. You know I can't fall asleep
without you." I set my glass down, and tilt her face towards me, "I love you,
Emma, and I want to take this next step together."
Slowly, a smile crept across her face, "That's oddly formal of you."
Shrugging, I ask, "Well?"
"Yes."
Unsurprisingly, it was an easy move. She hired movers to take all her old
stuff either to the dump - if it was broken - or to a second-hand store. She
dipped into her savings to buy a new wardrobe, since she had basically
living in the same five outfits - and some of my own stuff - since the new
year. But she was able to keep most of her hard earned money.
So now we were at my parents place, her eyes big when she saw what it
looked like. "Shit, it's huge."
"Yeah, they built on when my brother and sister started having kids. They
watch them quite a bit, and on holidays we all stay here, so they needed a
ton of rooms." I tell her.
Lu says as we walk up, "Mum told me that the older kids have started to
turn the family room into a giant fort and have sleepovers in there now."
"That's so cute!" Emma gushes, "I can't wait to meet the little ones."
I grin to myself, eager to see that as well. Just the thought of kids and
Emma together was enough to make me want to say fuck it and start our
family. We're still young, though, and have a lot of life to live.
Currently, Emma was in the kitchen helping my mom and sisters - and
wives - with the food for the party tomorrow. We were having it at my
parents house, extended family and friends coming to celebrate their
fortieth anniversary tomorrow, tonight being a family thing. I knew Emma
was a little nervous, but that was normal. My parents already loved her, my
mom literally raving to me on the phone one day about how lovely she was.
But she looked completely content with the ladies of my family, joining
in on the teasing of Lu for her terrible cooking skills. Occasionally, I would
walk in and help with an hors d'oeuvre for a little until someone would
whisk me away. Lu and Becca kept making fun of me for being so touchy
with Em, making her face go red, but I didn't care. Touching her was second
nature, and seeing her so at home in my family home was doing something
to me.
We still had the trial, however, scheduled in two weeks to start. We were
both going to be called for witnesses, along with Niall and Lauren. I knew
Emma was really stressed about that, not wanting to see him again after
what he had done. I had held her while she cried on those nights. The ones
where she remembered the feeling of his body against hers.
I was grateful and relieved that she had been strong enough to fight him
off. I think I would've actually killed the man if he had gotten any farther.
Brushing off the memories, me and the boys settled into the kitchen to
cook dinner after they had finished with the food for tomorrow. It was nice
to have Oliver around as an official member, now that he was finally with
Lu. I knew he was planning to propose in May on her birthday trip to Spain.
 "So how are you and Emma after everything that happened?" Jason asked
me.
"Good. It's nice not having to look over my shoulder everywhere I go." I
tell them.
"She's looking a lot better. You can barely see that bruise any longer." My
dad said, passing me the cooking oil.
I sigh, "Don't remind of that."
"Did you know they officially moved in together?" Oliver changed the
subject for me.
I chuckle, giving him an appreciative look, "I did not tell them, yet."
"You guys were basically already living together." Jason teases, "Next up
is marriage."
My heart sped up just thinking about marrying her, a grin laying on my
lips. I don't say anything, the guys all looking at me until my dad says, "Are
you thinking of that already?"
I think for a moment before answering, "I want things to settle down just
a bit more. Wait for the trial to be over and actually have a conversation
with her about the future."
"I'm surprised you haven't already." Oliver tells me.
"I mean, we've definitely know that's where we're headed, but having an
actual talk about what we want that future to look like is important to me."
"Well, as long as you pop out a few kids for your mum to coddle than
that's all that really matters." My dad says.
I laugh, knowing full well how badly my mom wants more babies to play
around with, especially since both Rebecca and Jason have stated that they
are done having kids. After a while I peek my head into the living room to
see the girls in there. The kids are with them as well, besides Jack and
Matthew who was attempting to help us.
My two year old niece, Marley, was sitting in Emma's lap, stealing all of
her attention away from my mom and sisters. I felt entranced watching
them, seeing how careful and attentive she was as they talked. You could
see Marley thinking hard about her words before saying something, Emma's
approval lighting her up, knowing she did something right.
As if she could feel my eyes on her, they flicker up and met mine. The
most beautiful smile graced her lips, eyes lighting up. She was relaxed and
happy, and the fact that we had finally gotten to this place... It really was
like a dream.
 Never had I thought I would get this lucky. I didn't even know that this
type of love existed. The type that swallowed you whole and made your
body buzz in excitement and happiness and anticipation for what the future
holds. For a long time, I was so convinced that something was broken
inside me, that I wasn't capable of having those feelings. Sure, I was
attracted to people left and right, but not once had I felt anything with them.
I still couldn't explain it, and I'm not sure I ever will be able to, the
instant attraction I felt to her coupled with curiosity. I had spent so long just
watching her from the sidelines, making up excuses as to why I was so
fascinated with her. Now she was such an integral part of my life that I
genuinely couldn't live without her. She was my everything.
"Hey, Harry," I was startled out of my thoughts, Jason's wife, Tony,
stepping up next to me, "I was wondering if you could help me with
something after dinner."
"Sure, what's up?" I ask her.
"Just some number discrepancies I've found for this client. Need an extra
pair of eyes, I think." She tells me.
"Yeah, no problem, dinner's almost ready, why don't you gather everyone
up?" I suggest, heading back into the kitchen to help my dad plate
everything.
We sat at the elongated dinner table, now completely full, every chair
filled, while the kids sat at a smaller table in the corner. There was a lot of
movement, everyone getting settled, and filling their plates with food. Idle
chatter and thank you's to the chefs, and then there was silence for about a
minute, each of us eating and drinking.
Emma was the first to pipe up, saying, "So what's the Monopoly Scandal
of twenty-ten?"
All at once there was groans and huffs.
"Shouldn't've brought that up, love." Oliver grimaced next to her, but Lu
and I stifled laughs at the sudden indignant and defensive faces around the
table.
"No, let's get back into this injustice." Rebecca says.
"Okay, for the last time, I was not cheating!" Jason exclaims.
Lu scoffs, "You one hundred percent had extra Monopoly money hidden
in your socks!"
†††
 I walked into my old bedroom to see Emma playing on her phone,
dressed in one of my shirts, and sitting comfortable against my headboard.
She looked up and smiled, looking me over once before putting her phone
down, and saying, "C'mere, baby."
I chuckled, collapsing into her open arms, her letting out a short squeal as
I topple us over. I roll over, so I'm lying on my back and she's on top of me.
I'm hugging her to my body tightly, legs hooking around hers as she laughs.
"Got to be quiet, angel..." I tease her, nipping at her bottom lip, "The kids
are asleep."
A grin settles on her face, and she leans up on her elbows, my arms
loosening, rubbing up and down her sides, "Everything okay with Tony?"
"Yeah, she just needed an extra pair of eyes to figure something out." I
tell her.
She hums, "It's been three hours. Must've been quite the puzzle."
I smile softly, "Yeah, I think I discovered that someone was embezzling
money. It would explain why certain things weren't adding up."
She raises her eyebrows, "That's not good."
"Definitely not." I shake my head, "It's hard for Tony, too, since she has
to present her findings to the board in two weeks, but she also needs to
report it to the cops if she gets substantial evidence. It's going to be a whole
mess."
"And you're okay?" She asks softly.
I breathe out a laugh, loving how much she cares about my anxiety.
Normally, if I had been forced to work an extra three hours on something
difficult like that, I would be a right mess. Focusing my attention on a loose
strand of hair, I say, "I'm good. Really good. What Tony does... it's so
different than what I have to do daily."
"How?"
"Well, she gets hired on by one business at a time." I start, "She's given
all their books and accounts, siphons through them to come up with the best
way to help the business make money. Usually, they're newer, younger
businesses that are learning as they go, not giant corporations that have
different branches you have to put together to somehow fit. It's more fun,
honestly."
"You're such a nerd."
I laugh, "Yeah, yeah, I've been told. But I really do enjoy it. Sometimes
Tony calls me up to ask for help or advice."
 "Hmm..." Emma hums, "I love how close everyone is, especially, the in-
laws. Tony and Chloe don't ever feel like they're outcasted, or don't fit in."
"My parents are very good at making people feel welcome. You're just
like them. Fit right in." I lean up and peck her lips.
She smiles and admits, "I was really nervous about this weekend."
"I could tell." I say, "But you never needed to worry. I knew from very
early on that you were the perfect fit."
"When was the moment?" She asks.
I meet her eyes, "The moment...?"
"That you wanted me more than our... agreement." She clarifies.
"Oh, that was probably the first night at mine on Halloween."
"Really?!"
I chuckled, "Yeah, did you not notice how different our friends with
benefits rules were? We basically outlined the rules of dating."
She looked flustered, "I mean, yeah... I guess I just found it hard to
believe that you would like me back then. Thought you were so out of my
league."
"You've got to be kidding me, Em." She gives me a look, but I continue,
"It's the other way around. You are so far out of my league, it's ridiculous."
"I am not!" She laughs, "We need to stop now before we end up fighting
about who's better looking."
"Because you know I'm ri-"
I squirm away as she playfully hits me in the arm. "Stop, stop, okay, I'll
admit I'm the hotter one-"
"I'm going to kill you." She jokes and rolls off of me, amusement
glittering in her eyes.
I turn over on my side, fingers reaching out to play with the strings on
her pajama shorts, "But seriously, I knew very early on that you were so
much more." I smile to myself, thinking back on our early days, "I
remember once... you said something - can't even recall exactly what it was
- but I just thought to myself how much my mum would love you. Knew
that if she ever met you, she would be panning our wedding right after."
Her face flushes, smile beaming, "Stop saying stuff like that..."
"What? The marriage stuff?" Her embarrassed face said it all. I move my
hand up to tilt her face towards me, "You know I'm going to marry you one
day, right?"
 She turns over on her side, facing me, and buries her face in my chest.
She nods against me, mumbling, "You better."
I laugh, petting at her hair, "Why are you so shy all of a sudden."
She took a second to answer, but eventually pulls away and looks up at
me, "Because I never thought I would get that."
My heart breaks at her confession, sure that her past relationships had
always made her feel like shit. "You want that, though, right?"
She's nodding immediately, "I do."
I wrap my arm around her, pulling her flush against my body, "I'll give
you it all, I promise." I playfully nudge her nose making her giggle.
"Watching you with my nieces and nephews. Fuck, Emma, you have no
idea what that did to me."
"Tell me." She whispers, staring at me dreamily.
I smile, "Made me want to give you everything. Not that I already
didn't." I give her a cheeky smile, and continue, "Want a dog and kids and a
bigger house that we pick out and buy together so we can fit all the children
we're going to have."
She giggles, "How many is that?"
"However many you'll give me." I answer immediately.
"What about a wedding?"
"Oh, that..." I raise an eyebrow, smirking, "It'll be somewhere that has a
special meaning to us. Small, intimate, because I know you would hate to
stand in front of a hundred people to say our vows. We'll plan it together,
everything, I mean. I want to be involved. I want it to scream us when
people walk in. But the most important thing, is that it'll be about us, our
love. And when I finally get to see you walk down that aisle, I most
certainly will be bawling my eyes out, cause I already know you'll be the
most stunning, magnificent thing I'll ever see."
"Harry..." She whispers out warningly, eyes glazed over in tears.
"What?" I whisper back, trying to hold back my giant grin.
Her soft hand comes up to graze over my cheek, "I want that. I want that
so bad."
"Good, cause I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give you the world,
angel."
She doesn't hesitate to kiss me, her lips pillowy soft and addicting. My
hand wraps around the back of her head and presses her closer, turning our
kiss hungry and needy. Our hands were everywhere all at once, needing to
touch each other. I climbed on top of her, her hands slipping up the back of
my shirt. Her nails clawed down my back, making me groan.
It had been so long since I had her, so long since I've felt her hugging my
cock, milking me of all cum. I deserved it. I broke her promise, and ended
up in the hospital. I couldn't fathom sitting by her bedside for fourteen
hours, waiting desperately for her to wake up. The thought made me sick,
so I understood why she was as angry as she was.
But nothing was going to stop me from taking her right now. I wanted to
fuck her hard, watch her try and hold back her screams. If I could I'd tie her
up and keep her wet all night long, I would. See just how many times I
could play with her clit until she was begging me to stop.
I rolled my hips into hers roughly, making her squirm underneath me. I
was pulling at her top, but then her hands were on my chest and she was
pulling away, "Harry... Harry, stop."
"No, please." I beg, burying my head into the crook of her neck, "I've
been good. Please, need to feel you."
She lifts my head, hands cupping my cheeks. She looks frustrated, and
huffs out, "Believe me, baby, I want to, but I started my period a few hours
ago."
I groan, re-dropping my head to her neck, "I'm gonna explode."
She combs her fingers through my hair, "I'm sorry, baby."
Shaking my head, I say, "Not your fault. I guess I'm just so used to you
not being on it." I think for a moment, "Actually, I don't think I've seen you
on your period?"
"Yeah, I'm on the shot, so I only have it a few times a year." She tells me.
I breathe out roughly, "Okay, I'll get myself sorted-"
"No, I'll be the one doing that." She said firmly.
I pick my head up, and look down at her, noting the steady determination
on her face, "I don't like getting off without you."
"Well, that's too bad, cause I want your cock in my mouth." She says
honestly.
I grin, "Are you sure? I really don't mind-"
"Shut up, Harry, and get on your back to I can blow you." She pushed me
off her and fits in-between my open legs.
I couldn't help but laugh, stripping off my shirt while she unbuttoned my
jeans. I lifted my hips up, so she could pull them down, her eyes staring
hungrily at the bulge in my underwear. I smirked, loving when she got like
this, so needy.
"Thought you weren't going to touch me all weekend, because there's no
locks on the door, but here you are drooling for me." I tease.
She glances up at me, and then looks at the door. I lean up when she gets
off the bed, dragging my old desk chair over to prop under the knob.
"There." She says, hopping back on the bed, her hand palming me
through the flimsy fabric. "Now we're safe."
"Been so long." I mumble out, closing my eyes at the feeling.
"Had to make you realize how stupid you were." She says lowly.
I'm nodding mindlessly, jaw dropping when I feel her mouth cover my
length, slowly moving up to suck on my head. "I was so stupid."
"You're never gonna do the again, right?" She peels back the band of my
underwear and licks my tip.
"Never." I breathe out.
Finally, she takes my underwear off so I'm fully naked, running her hands
up my thighs until she dips them low to play with my balls. She's never
started like that, sucking on one gently, then tilting her head to mouth at my
base. She sucks her way up, tongue on the prominent vein on my underside.
I whine when she only grazes my tip, but she wraps her hand around my
length and starts pumping. "I'm gonna need you to be nice and quiet, baby.
Think you can do that?"
I nod my head, brows furrowing as she squeezes a little harder, "Yes, yes,
yes, I'll be quiet."
I receive my answer in the form of her hot, wet mouth suckling on my
tip. I sigh in relief, feeling the pre-cum already escaping. Emma laps it up,
her favorite part of giving me head. She wastes no time in sinking lower,
tongue caressing my frenulum. I force my hips to stay grounded wanting to
let her take control.
She bobbed her head, mouth beginning to water more as more of my cum
started to leak out. My balls felt heavy and full, and I was certain that she
would be swallowing a lot tonight. She hadn't touched me like this in so
long that it didn't take long for my length to start throbbing or twitching in
her hand when she would take a breather.
My eyes blinked open and peered down at her, her own closed, moaning
out in enjoyment. Fuck, I loved how much she loved my cock. It was
absolutely mesmerizing to watch her bob faster, my cock shiny and messy
due to her. I can't believe I ever even enjoyed a blowie from anyone else.
Hell, I couldn't remember what sex felt with anyone else, except it was a
complete disappointment.
I felt myself tense, stomach clenching as her eyes opened, meeting mine
instantly. Her pupils were dilated and narrowed at me. They never left, even
as she slid down lower, sucking harshly. As she came up, she tilted her
head, my cock poking the inside of her cheek. It looked so lascivious,
alluring in every way.
Her tongue swirled around the edges of my head like a whirlpool, fist
pumping my full length, and I could feel myself tipping over the edge. I
didn't even need to warn her, Emma knowing me better than myself. She
took me in just a bit further, still pumping the rest of my length, and let my
cum shoot straight down her throat.
Greedily, she swallowed, tongue playing with my slit as more poured out
of me. My vision went white, my entire body clenching as I came. It was
the biggest relief I've ever felt, weeks of pent up sexual frustration and only
my hand to make do, leaving me.
When she popped off, I opened my eyes to see her staring at my still hard
cock. She grinned mischievously at me, leaning down to take me once
more, but my hand flew down to fist her hair, pulling her back up.
I sit up quickly, feeling a little lightheaded after such an intense orgasm,
and growl out, "Lay on your back."
She follows my orders, the power shifting willingly over to me. I move to
sit on my knees and shuffle closer to where her upside down head is staring
up at me.
"Open your mouth wide for me, darling."
She does so, her tongue sticking out a bit to welcome the head of my red
and sensitive cock. I fist myself, bringing my cock to her mouth, rubbing
my leaking tip along her tongue. I nearly came at the sight of my milky cum
spread along her tongue, watching in wonderment. She opens wider as I
slide my prick into her mouth.
She understands immediately what I'm trying to do, tilting her head into a
comfortable position, and easy enough to slowly inch my way to the back
of her throat and down it, the angle making it easier than ever to take my
full length. I feel a rough puff of air leave her nose, hitting my round, full
balls, as she tries to breathe around my cock. I think it's one of the most
erotic things I've seen her do, only her mouth, chin, and neck truly visible.
The strain in her neck doing crazy things.
I roll my hips slowly, just enjoying the feeling, her mouth watering
around me, throat closing in as she swallows, and the tickling of her breath
on my balls. It makes me lose control faster, thanking whatever gods there
are that my angel wasn't born with a gag reflex.
Suddenly, she pinches my thigh, and I pull out. Turning around onto her
stomach, she looks up with wild eyes, and says thickly, "C'mon, fuck me."
I grin widely, her mouth opening, welcoming my throbbing cock. She's
leaning up on her elbows, feet in the air crossed and lightly swaying,
waiting for me to thrust into her. How she can be damningly sexy and
innocently cute at the same time blows my mind.
I gather up a clump of her hair on the back of her head, fist it, and guide
my cock into her mouth. When I thrust in, hitting the back of her throat
instantly, my other hand joins in fisting her hair. I thrust and thrust, Emma
taking every bit of my cock happily. We don't take our eyes off one another
the entire time.
"That's right, angel." I whisper, extra breathily, "Choke on my cock."
She moans around me, causing my eyes to roll back for a moment before
returning to her striking blue eyes. "Such a dirty girl. Telling me I had to be
quiet when you're the one moaning up a storm."
She whimpers now, a harsh exhale escaping through her nose. I knew she
couldn't take much more of this without getting lightheaded, so I sped up,
wanting to cum again so badly. One of her hands flew up to squeeze my
balls softly, tipping me over the edge again. I pull back just slightly, enough
to where she won't actually choke on my cum, and watch her, yet again, lap
me cannily.
This time when she pops off, my length had softened, and she's smiling
up at me. She climbs up, pouncing on me, my weakened state allowing her
to topple me over easily. I kiss her back lazily, always enjoying the taste of
me on her tongue.
After a few minutes of giggles and kisses, she retrieves my underwear
from the floor, and helps me put them back on. She also puts my old desk
chair back before joining me under the covers, where we fall asleep in
minutes.
†††
 "There you are." I say when I find Emma in the kitchen, my niece, Rosie,
sitting on the counter in front of her.
I had been looking for her everywhere, losing her when she told me she
had to use the restroom. The party was much bigger than expected, even
Emma's mom showing up, surprising both of us. I tried to keep her by my
side the entire time, knowing how anxious she got meeting all these new
people. And all of them were determined to meet "the girl who tamed
Harry".
Thankfully, she took it in stride, just laughing whenever an old friend or
uncle would make a disparaging joke about my old sex life. I, however, was
getting more annoyed by the minute. If I didn't know any better, they were
trying to make her uncomfortable.
"Yeah, this one tracked me down, and begged me to get her a cookie. I
asked Chloe before popping in here. Now she's trying to convince me she's
been good enough for a second one." Emma tells me.
"I haz!" Rosie exclaims, throwing her hands in the air.
I chuckle, coming up to them, "How are you doing, bug?"
"Auntie Hawwy, can I haz one?" She pouts adorably.
Emma snorts, while I try and correct her, "Bug, it's uncle Harry. This is
your auntie Emma."
Her face scrunches up like she's thinking, finally shaking her head,
pointing at me, "No, auntie!"
Emma laughs, "She's been calling me uncle for the last few minutes."
"Yeah," I sigh, "for some reason she gets them confused, and refuses to
listen to anyone otherwise. Bug, did she say you could have another one?" I
ask her pointedly when she tries to sneakily steal one from the cookie jar
behind her.
She then looks up at Emma, big brown puppy-dog eyes melting her.
Emma sighs, "How about this, Rosie. I'll give you one more, but that's it
until after you eat your dinner. And this has to be a secret. I don't want your
mums getting mad at me." Rosie nods vigorously, eyes nearly popping out
of her sockets in excitement. "Pinky promise?"
Emma holds out her pinky, while I watch with a smile. Rosie nods again,
"Pinky Pwomise."
"Okay, here you are." She hands her a cookie, picking her up, and setting
her on the ground, "Off you go. I know your grandma was looking for you
earlier. Why don't you show her your new sparkly shoes."
 Rosie runs away, chewing on the cookie, turning into the living room
where I'm sure Grandma Styles was sitting dutifully in the armchair she sat
in at every holiday gathering. Emma picks herself up a cookie of her own,
splitting it in half and handing me over the bigger side. I chuckle, eating it
blithely. My eyes don't leave her face as we move to the edge of the living
room, her eyes watching the crowd of people.
I settle up behind her, my arm around her waist, keeping her leaned up
against me. She's watching the little ones with such adoration that I can't
stop myself from saying, "When can we start?"
"Hmm?" She quietly responds, turning her head to me.
"Our family." I tell her sincerely, "I can't handle being around you and
kids without wishing we had some of our own."
She grins widely, "So you're saying you want to start now?"
"I wanted to start last month." I tease, then letting the smile slip from my
face as I say quietly, "Dying to see your belly grow with our child, feel it
kick for the first time, decorate a nursery together. You're going to look so
beautiful." I whisper out the last sentence as she turns around in my arms.
"Harry," she whispers back, kissing me softly, keeping it PG in front of
everyone, "I can't wait to start having kids with you. You're going to be the
greatest dad ever, but I want to enjoy being your girlfriend for a bit longer,
then your fiancé, and finally your wife. I'm gonna be selfish, and hoard you
away for myself for just a bit longer." She pecks my pouty lips, "Then I'll
pop out as many babies as my body allows."
"Promise?"
"Promise." She's silent for a bit before adding, "Plus, we still have a few
more things to try before we get interrupted by children crying all night.
Want to explore your body a little more, baby."
I sigh dramatically, "I guess, that's okay." Then after a second, I ask,
"Can we start with the dog, though?"
She laughs, "Yes, we can start with a dog, Harry. How about we wait
until after the trial?"
"Deal."
Just then another family member calls us over, so I take her hand and
start to lead her towards the fireplace, whispering in her ear, "I love you,
angel."
Chapter Sixty-Two

EMMA
One of the hardest things I ever had to do was testify in court. My
anxiety was through the roof the whole time. I had to look at Jake in the
box, face still bruised, nose obviously broken from his run-in with Harry's
fist and my car window. The jurors stared at me while I answered questions,
judging me, trying to see if I was lying or telling the truth. Every single one
of my inactions and actions were displayed in front of everyone.
Harry was there, supporting me through it all. He had already testified,
the defense putting him through the wringer, trying to make him out to be
the conniving, jealous boyfriend who had anger issues. It took everything in
me not to stand up and defend him, but I knew he would have an even
harder time when I was being questioned.
The prosecution had prepped me, told me exactly what was going to
happen during the trial. She had me walk the jury through the timeline of
mine and Jake's relationship, his manipulation and emotional abuse, our
relationship after he broke up with me, when the texts started, and when it
really started to go downhill.
They had a solid case, CCTV proof of whereabouts and actions,
eyewitness accounts of what had happened to me in the parking lot, and all
of the proof on my cellphone. Even though it was nearly a slam dunk case -
what the lawyers have told me - it didn't stop me from having a full-on
breakdown the night before the trial started. Harry had to hold me for hours
after a nightmare had wrecked me, crying and shaking in his arms.
I had promised him the next morning that I would try and find a
counselor to talk to about my trauma, but it had been nearly a week of
testimonies and exhaustion from not sleeping well. I had no time to seek out
help, and I just wanted to go back to work. I missed my kids and my
classroom, and I felt an unwavering amount of guilt for how much work
Harry was missing. I knew he was stressed, as well, having to relive this
and also try and take care of me.
When the defense had questioned me, I fidgeted in the booth, answering
their questions one at a time. They tried every trick in the book to discredit
me, insinuating I'm a slut for sleeping with the guy that broke my heart for
months afterwards, and then apparently switching to Harry like nothing
happened. They failed to bring up the months in-between, making it seem
as though I was willing to sleep around with anyone.
I kept my cool, though, knowing I had just explained the timeline
thoroughly to the jury. I even kept my temper in check when they started
asking me defamatory questions about Harry. They implied that Harry was
the one who had me under his evil spell, pulling me away from a man who
truly loved me, tried to say that I didn't start to even think it was harassment
until Harry told me it was harassment.
I knew they had to do that, that this was their job, and that everyone had
a right to a defense. That was the justice system. But I wasn't expecting
them to concoct such a tale of brainwash and abuse. The opposite of what
had really happened.
They had no real proof, though. It was all storytelling to them. There was
no video footage, or witnesses, and his friends had even refused to give
character statements on Jake's behalf. As much as I disliked them, and think
they are a horrible group of people, I don't think they ever really thought
Jake was like that. They had believed his lies, and when they were faced
with the truth about the type of person he was, they turned their back on
him. Not a single one showed up to the trial.
I, on the other hand, had an army. Not everyone showed up everyday due
to work, but every single one of our friends had sat with Harry and I at
some point. My mom came down more frequently, and even Harry's parents
came down for support, his mum holding my hand as Harry took the stand.
Even Maddie and Joe showed once. I had had lunch with them a few
weeks back, before Harry's parents anniversary. I was so used to the bruise
on my face that I hadn't thought twice about showing up to the restaurant
with it. When both of them saw me, it was question after question. Maddie
holding back her horror and Joe holding back his anger. I had opened up
quite a bit to them about what was happening, not blaming either of them
for our situation.
 I found out that Maddie was more like me: a bit quieter and shy towards
new people. She seemed to rely a lot on Joe to start up new topics of
conversation. Joe had made a full one-eighty, deciding he wanted to know
everything about me. I was amazed at how pissed he got about the whole
Jake thing. He didn't even really know me, but he was outraged about it all.
When he showed up to the trial, he spent the first ten minutes just glaring
at Jake while he sat in the box. Jake kept looking over too, confused and
angry, wondering who this kid was. I asked them about their mother,
wanting to know more about her, and they in turn asked about mine.
It was therapeutic to say the least. Bonding with them was easy, my body
relaxing quickly. I still wouldn't consider us close, by any means, and I
think calling them my brother and sister might be a little too much. It will
take a while, but I think we will get there.
Secretly, I was really excited to get to know them. I had always wanted
siblings, a big family, and even though we met in probably one of the worst
ways, I still couldn't help but want them in my life.
Their father, however, was a different story. I'll give him credit: he is
trying. He sends me emails, long and thought out. It's just impersonal
enough for me to read them and respond, refusing to give him my phone
number, feeling as though that would be forgiving him too quickly. I was
going to make him work for a relationship with me. If he really wanted one
then he would need to prove that he wasn't just going to leave again. I was
happy when my mom finally told me that nothing romantic was happening
between them. They were just hanging out occasionally.
My mom confided in me a few days back, admitting how lonely she's
been since I moved out years ago. I hadn't realized she felt like this, always
putting on a strong, happy face whenever I was around. We talked about her
dating again, putting herself out there. She didn't have very much faith, but
I promised to help set up an account on whatever site she chose to start
looking.
I just wanted her to be happy. I wanted us all to be happy. I wanted this
stupid trial to end, and Jake to be locked up. And I wanted the damn puppy
Harry and I kept talking about.
My heart was racing, hand clenched in Harry's as we were called back
into the courtroom. The jury was back with their verdict. We sat down,
listening to the judge as she spoke, asking the head juror if they reached a
unanimous decision. When they said yes, I perked up, knowing this was
most likely good news for us.
"Do you find the defendant, Jake Augustus Butler, guilty or not guilty?"
The bailiff asks.
"Guilty of all charges." The head juror says.
Relief washed through me, letting out the breath I was holding in. Harry
turned towards me, pressing his lips to my shoulder, and keeping them there
while he gathered himself. My eyes drifted to Jake, standing in the clear
plastic box, white as a ghost. He glanced at me, his scared eyes piercing
into mine.
Like everything was in slow motion, I watched as his dark eyes turned to
hatred. Animosity and contempt clear on his face. More relief seeped in as I
felt forever grateful that he would spend his full life locked away. He
couldn't get out, and try and destroy us again. There was no fear of living
anymore with him officially locked away, and I found myself breaking the
eye contact to look at Harry. I gently pull his head up to see him looking
just as relieved.
"We're free." I choke out, emotions flooding through me.
His smile nearly blinded me, "We're free."
†††
Hours later, I was pushed up against the wall of our entryway, Harry's
lips ravaging my neck and collarbone.
We were so elated when we got back home that Harry suggested he take
me out on a surprise date. I grinned, asking what I should wear, some
cheeky comments coming from his alluring lips. We almost didn't make it
out of the house, but I had dressed up in a new dress, red and flowy, so he
was determined to take me out.
We ended up dancing, not in some grimy club, but a cute restaurant that
had live music playing and a ballroom. There were couples around actually
dancing - like salsa and ballroom - but we were just swaying and spinning.
He was definitely a little clumsy, not accustomed to doing this.
It was the most fun we had had in a while. I still had some stuff to work
through, and Harry's anxiety was going to be bad the coming week,
knowing quarterlies were due, but we pushed it all aside and danced and
laughed and drank.
I realized we had never been drunk together before. I never felt
particularly safe getting wasted and Harry wasn't much of a drinker to begin
with. We let go, though, getting a ride home once it was closing in on
midnight. We were giggly and touchy, and I'm sure the cabbie knew exactly
what was going down when we got back home, but I didn't care.
Blindly, Harry typed in the passcode to our alarm system and locked the
front door. We were surrounded in darkness, only the sounds of our heavy
breathing filling the air. My leg was hitched up to his hip, his large,
calloused fingers holding the meat of my thighs.
"Driving me nuts in this dress all night." He mumbles, licking up the
center of my neck, making me tilt my chin up. "Need you."
I nod, squeaking out a sound of surprise when he pushes me harder into
the wall, hoisting my legs up. I wrap them around him securely, feeling
lightheaded from the booze and his lips. He stumbles a bit as he peels me
off the wall, my grip on him tightening. I burst out laughing, too drunk to be
scared that he's going to tip us over.
He joins in, the sound music to my ears, "I think I'm a bi' more drunk
than I thought."
By the time we made it upstairs, Harry somehow able to carry me the
entire way, my stomach was hurting from laughing so hard. Tears were
falling out of the corners of my eyes, lying on the bed, while Harry tries to
undress himself. It takes a lot longer for us to get naked, but I really don't
mind. I'm dizzy and happy and my body is buzzing, and when he sinks into
my heat he curses out.
"Angel, I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm gonna last long." He groans,
kissing me hard and sloppy.
I reach down, my hand slipping between us, and start rubbing my clit.
"Oh fuck." He whispers, feeling my knuckles brush against his lower
abdomen as I touch myself. He doesn't move for a while, puffs of air hitting
my neck and cheek, wherever he rests his face.
Being so full of him was enough for me, feeling that tight knot start to
twist quickly. When I squeeze around him for the first time, he starts to rock
his hips in and out. It's sloppy and uncoordinated, my own rhythm messed
up every time his stomach grazes my hand, but somehow it still feels utterly
hot.
I can feel every ridge of his cock inside me, never fully leaving my
warmth, and my own hips start to spasm as my orgasm comes to fruition.
Turns out neither of us can last long when we're drunk, Harry cumming
inside me the moment the first jolt of my orgasm hits me. Our bodies tense
together, my hands gripping his arms, which are straining to keep him up.
He bites down roughly onto my shoulder, holding back his guttural sounds.
I sigh as I come floating back down to earth, my entire body relaxing and
feeling lighter than ever. Harry's arms give out, his body crashing into mine,
but I love the pressure. I love feeling engulfed in him, his unbroken arm
slipping underneath me. My legs unwrap from his hips, feeling tingly and
weak, and I wish nothing more than the lights be turned on, so I can see his
face.
I loved his face after sex, serene and dreamy looking, his little baby hairs
sticking to his forehead due to the sweat buildup. My body was quite hot as
well, sweating from the dancing, alcohol, and sex, and I knew if we were
coherent enough, we would slip into a shower together and wash each other
off.
"Harry... Harry, baby, you can't fall asleep." I whisper, playing with his
hair.
He sucks a little on the salty, sweaty skin of my neck before answering,
"Wanna stay in you forever."
I breathe out a laugh, causing Harry to hiss, his sensitive cock still in me.
Slowly and begrudgingly, he slips out of me, scooting over to the edge of
the bed on his stomach, and reaching down with a cute strained noise to
pick up the shirt he wore tonight. He spread me open and cleaned me up,
throwing the shirt mindlessly back onto the floor. We're too tired and drunk
to do anything else, Harry slipping the covers from underneath us to pull
them over our exhausted bodies.
We face each other, molding our bodies as close as possible, my leg
hitched over his hip. Even just feeling each other this way, bringing comfort
to our souls. I peck kisses into his chest, his fingers dancing along my spine.
"We get our dog tomorrow, right?"
†††
"I can't believe we're finally doing this."
Harry looks over at me, smiling, hand in mine as we walk into the animal
shelter. We had done a lot of research on different shelters to adopt from,
and came to this one after Maura said it was where she got her bulldog.
We had called them up and made an appointment, so we could get
cleared to adopt and take home our little one right away. We hadn't decided
what type of dog we wanted, wanting to go in blind and let the dog choose
us.
 Big cages lined the hallway, dogs barking at us as we walk through with
a volunteer worker. Some were lying down, eyes looking up at us. My heart
cracked, instantly wanting to adopt every single one of them. There were a
lot of dogs that were rescue pups, some abandoned on the street, and others
saved from being euthanized at kill shelters.
I squeeze Harry's hand and he looks back at me. Smiling softly, he says,
"I know, angel."
We spend a lot of time walking around, being introduced to different
dogs, but then the volunteer mentioned a litter of puppies that were left in a
box outside in the rain a few weeks back. I saw Harry perk up, and
immediately follow the young lady.
I smiled when I saw them. There were about six or seven puppies,
Pomskys, a mix of a Pomeranian and Husky. They were all running around
in their pin, play fighting or trying to scale the walls. I heard Harry chuckle,
squatting down to look at them better.
"You can pick one up, if you'd like. They're very friendly." The volunteer
tells us.
Harry sticks his hand in, a few pups racing to smell him. He takes his
time, surveying each one before focusing in on the smallest one. She was
sitting on her hind legs, staring up at him with two light blue eyes. I knew
before he said anything that he had fallen in love, picking up the pup, and
cradling her in his arms.
He stands up, turning towards me, and lets the dog sniff my face. I giggle
at the feeling, my heart warming when I feel her lick my chin a few times.
"I think we found our match." The volunteer says, "We figure they're
about six weeks old, another two or three and we can get her spayed for
you. Haven't had a chance to name 'em either, so that's up to you, if you
want to adopt."
Harry's eyes leave our new puppy, flickering up to mine, "What do you
say?"
"Baby, I don't think I could pry this dog out of your hands if I tried." I
tease, scratching her ear. She tilts her head, back leg kicking into the air,
"Oh my god, she's so cute."
"We are still working on potty training, but she's actually been pretty
good. Smart pup, she is."
"Yeah, let's do it." I say excitedly.
 We walked back through the cages, and out to the lobby so we could talk
more in depth about what needed to be done. We bought a collar, leash, dog
food, and decided to hit up a pet store on the way home to get toys and a
pee pad. Once we got up front, our pup in her new collar and leash, Harry
gave me the reins. I set her down, so she could sniff and stretch her legs.
My eyes were so set on her walking around, her bum swaying cheekily,
that I didn't even see the big, fluffy dog laying down on the lobby floor by
itself. Our pup sauntered right on over, climbed on top of it, and started
licking at its ears.
"No, little one. Leave this guy alone." I say, getting on my knees to pick
her up off the bigger dog.
"Don't worry about Old Tobes. He's a gentle giant." The volunteer calls
over at us, Harry turning around to see what we were up to.
"Old Tobes?" I ask, watching as the older dog lifts his head, glances at
the puppy on his back, and rests his head back down with not a care in the
world. I grin at him, reaching the back of my hand out for him to sniff.
"His name's Toby. Been with us for eight years now. He's kind of our
mascot now." She jokes, "He'll be turning ten here pretty soon."
"He's been here for eight years?" I ask incredulously, smiling as Toby
starts to stand, our puppy falling off him, but scuttling back to his feet to
follow him towards me. Toby sits right in front of me, sniffing my shoes,
pants, shirt, and then my face and hair. "How has no one adopted him?"
"He used to be very skittish. His original owners abused him pretty bad."
My heart cracks, then seems to re-heal when Toby nudges our pup away
who was trying to climb on him again. I chuckle, petting Toby's head. "He's
settled quite a bit, but gets rather anxious in the cages with the other dogs.
We think it's all the barking and banging. Probably still has a little bit of
PTSD. That's why he spends most of his days out here napping."
"Poor thing." I mumble, taking his face in both my hands. He rests his
muzzle in my palms, tongue coming out to lick my wrists. I study him for a
bit longer, noticing how our pup has saddled up right next to him. Toby
lifted his head, lowering it down to my lap - me now sitting criss cross on
the floor - and looks up at me. The puppy copied his movements, but stared
at the older, shaggy dog.
There was something in his eyes, sadness and hopefulness mixed in that
called to me. I was just about to call Harry's name when I felt him kneel
down behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder, "He's a precious one, isn't
he?"
He reaches his hand out so Toby can sniff him, almost immediately
licking his fingers. "He likes you." I say.
"It looks like our little one does too." He chuckles, watching our puppy
lay against Toby, nibbling at his ear.
A quiet whine escapes me, taking my phone out and snapping pictures. I
feel Harry's head move, his voice asking, "What kind of dog is he?"
"Labradoodle."
There was a moments silence before Harry kisses my cheek, and says,
"Who would've thought we'd be getting two dogs today."
My head whips around, eyes wide, "Really?!"
He smiles bright, hand tucking away some of my hair behind my ear,
"Why not? I see the way you're looking at him, and we have the ability to
take care of them both. Lu's got the next two weeks off for vacation, and
said she was willing to watch them while we were at work. By then we'll be
able to find a daycare for them, and get her spayed. What do you say?"
I'm nodding before he even finishes his question. He chuckles at me,
kissing my forehead, and stands up to get them to draft the adoption papers
on Toby.
"Do you hear that, Toby?" The old dogs head perks up, hearing his name,
"You're coming home with us."
†††
Several hours, and a trip to PetsCorner, later, Harry and I find ourselves
at home with our new dogs. We spoke heavily to the volunteers about
taking care of two dogs, especially at two very different stages of their
lives. Toby, with his new collar and tag, was lying next to me sleeping,
wiped out by the trip to the store, while our little one was running back and
forth between the two of us as we tossed a ball to each other.
"What should we name her?" I ask Harry.
"What about Daisy?" He answers.
I smile, glancing over at the toy plush daisy that the puppy grabbed from
the shelf and carried around the whole store. "I like that."
"Daisy, come here, girl." Harry called for her, the pup immediately
running over, tripping over her feet and waddled into Harry's lap. She was
definitely attached to him, just as Toby seemed to never leave my side.
 We play with her for a little longer, impressed that she found her way at
the door when she needed to potty. Both dogs spent a lot of time in the
backyard, just big enough for them to roam freely. Harry made some tea for
us, so we could stay warm watching them. He ended up behind me, an arm
around my upper torso, keeping me flush against his chest. We swayed a
little as we watched our two new children, Harry whispering in my ear, "I'm
so fucking happy, Emma."
Chapter Sixty-Three

EMMA
Four Months Later
"Home sweet home." Harry says as we walk back through the doorstep of
the cottage we had stayed at before Christmas.
It was pretty much the same, except without the Christmas decorations.
There was a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter, both our dogs immediately
sniffing their way into the kitchen. Harry put our bags in the room while I
set up the dog bowls. When he came out, I outstretched my arms for him to
wrap his own around me, pick me up, and give me a tight bear hug.
"I've missed this place." I mumble into his neck.
He sets me down, "Want to make love to you in front of that fireplace
again."
I grin, "I expect you too."
He captured my bottom lip in-between his, giving me a searing kiss. One
that made my toes curl and heart hammer in my chest. I could never get
enough of him in any way. Even when he was annoying me, I wanted to be
around him.
The last several months have been good for us. Without the distraction of
outside forces we were able to bond in a way I didn't think was possible.
We got to learn what each other was like in our every day normal lives.
I had found a counselor to speak to once every two weeks. She had also
talked to me about my abandonment issues created by my biological father
leaving. I still wasn't giving him much, but I would sit down with him and
my mum whenever I went up to visit her. My nightmares had stopped rather
quickly which I was forever grateful for. I didn't need the reminder of
what'd almost happened.
Harry and I found a routine, him dropping the dogs off at daycare before
work, me picking them up on the way home. We would cook and clean
together, take long walks as the sun started to set. We still got our alone
time in bed, Toby preferring to sleep in the living room, and Daisy sleeping
wherever he was. We still went out on Fridays with everyone, and had
lunches and brunches over the weekend.
It was the life I never thought I would have. It was domestic and dreamy,
Harry being sweet and attentive. We worked through his anxiety issues,
attacks happening less than they used to, but not stopping entirely. He had
finally spoken to his boss about stepping down, admitting that he was
unhappy with the position. He agreed to stay on to help with the hiring
process, which would probably take a few months to find and properly train
someone.
He had been talking to Tony about expanding her consulting business.
She wanted to reach more businesses in Manchester, but with her workload
and her family, she wasn't able to travel as much making it much harder to
accept clients down here. Adding Harry as a partner would be perfect for
her to expand, and Harry actually liked the work. It would allow him to be
at home more, to be surrounded by the comfort of the dogs and our
memories.
He even made a joke about it being the perfect job for when we have
children, because he can watch them while I'm at work. More and more we
talked about starting a family, more so than us getting married. We weren't
rushing things, though, both of us wanting to enjoy being us before
complicating things.
He had told me about his plans with Tony over my birthday weekend. He
had taken me to Brighton to see the beach, staying at a cute little house by
the seafront. We had walked along the pebbled beach, visited the Brighton
Palace Pier, and took some boat trips into the ocean. At night we would
walk along the shops, eating way too many sweets, before heading home.
Harry was sensational the entire time, both with his body and his care. He
wanted me to have a birthday like I've never had before, and he gave that to
me. My heart was so full as we left, my hands touching some part of him at
all times. I'm sure we were that annoying couple that was sharing too much
PDA, but I wouldn't ever hold myself back when it came to him. His lips
were too inviting.
Just like right now, his tongue slipping into my mouth to meet mine as he
deepened our kiss. Our sex life was insane, a new flame lit between us. We
researched more things to try and ordered more toys. Things I never
could've trusted any one else to do to my body. Some things didn't work -
spitting and watersports - but we did decide to try mouth gags. Harry really
liked that, salivating all over my lace panties as I rode him.
But my favorite intimate times with him were the ones not planned,
whether it was sitting on the couch watching TV, his fingers exploring my
soft wet skin in a bath, or the slow, sensual love-making we would do in the
middle of the night. The other night I woke up to his hands. rubbing
tantalizing circles over skin, the feeling of his hot breath whispering how
badly he wanted me, the outline of his rigid cock against my bum. I nodded
lazily, letting him grip the inside of my thigh, lift my leg and slide into me
from behind. The angle had been superb, neither of us ever trying this
position before. I remember feeling every ounce of love he had for me as
his hips rocked into me slowly, his hand moving down to my clit.
"How about we let the dogs settle in while we go to the store to get some
food for the weekend." Harry suggests after we part.
"Sounds perfect." I mumble, leaning up to peck his lips again.
"Hey," he says quietly, taking hold of my chin. His eyes are swirling with
memories, this place held dear to our hearts, "I love you."
The corners of my lips turn up, a wide teeth-baring smile on my face, "I
know, baby. I love you too."
"You know, the last time we were here, I was so desperate to tell you."
His hand moves to the back of my neck, arching it so I'm looking up at him.
"You did." I tell him, "You told me in front of the fireplace while we
made love. It might not have slipped out of your perfect lips, but I heard
you."
He closes his eyes, resting his forehead on mine. The moment is so
serene, the air filled with affection, and love flowing between us. I've
learned there's no bounds to it, that our love is meant to grow and grow as
the days pass. Sometimes, like right now, I feel so full of it that I might
explode, that it's too much. But my heart expands greedily for it, soaking up
Harry's words and actions like they're its life source.
I guess that is true, knowing I couldn't live without him by my side. If he
were ripped away from me, then surely my heart would fail me instantly.
Every beat it pumped out was for him, our lives intertwined forever.
And it all started with a "Fuck it".
†††
We were hiking some basic trails, the same ones we snowmobiled up and
down last time. It's crazy just how much this place changed in the seasons.
There were more people in the summer, more activities, and we noticed
how many more families were out and about. There was an indoor water
park that had been closed down the last time we were here that brought a lot
of families to the area. At least, that's what Sarah and Mitch told us.
We spent our morning walking those trails with them, our dogs sniffing
every little thing they could find. They were so worn out that they
immediately drifted off to sleep in Toby's day bed. That's when I asked
Harry if he wanted to go hiking.
So now we were walking up a small mountain. I was breathing hard, not
used to this sort of workout, Harry smiling cheekily at me whenever he
looked behind him to check on me. He had his little backpack on and our
water bottles, and he looked so cute. I was tempted to ask him to carry me
up to the lookout point we were headed, his muscles looking spectacular
today.
"I think it's just up here." He said, pointing to a trail that veered off the
regular one.
It was more secluded, the main trail filled with people. I was almost
worried that this wasn't the right path to take, but when we walked out onto
an opening, a wood railing at the edge of the cliff, my breath was stolen.
It was absolutely stunning, the view one of the best I have ever seen. It
overlooked the village we were staying in, the small city far in the distance.
The trees bristled in the wind below us, the sound peaceful to our ears.
Harry held out his hand for me, leading me to the railing. My hands held
the top beam while Harry stood behind me, arms around my waist. Not a
single person disturbed our tranquil moment, not even us. No words were
spoken, just soft touches and hums of contentment.
Even when he outstretched his arm, phone in hand facing us, ready to
take our picture did we stay silent. I smiled wide, looking at the equally
happy face on the screen. I turn my head to the side to kiss his cheek, his
head turning after the pictures taken to kiss me. I barely notice that he's still
taking pictures when he buries his face in my neck, my hand in his hair and
eyes closed. I'm sure they aren't the best angles, and he only puts his phone
away when I turn in his arms and face him.
The sun shines down on him, lighting him up in my eyes, his green eyes
sparkling and squinting down at me. I giggle, taking his face in my hands
and kissing him. We take our time out here in this little island of serenity,
kissing and touching and swaying in his arms. It doesn't matter that it's hot
and we're both a little sweaty from the hike, and I'm certain that I've got a
rock in my shoe.
It's too perfect.
This moment is too perfect, so much love filling me, that familiar feeling
of this all being too good, too much. I couldn't stop the words from leaving
my lips.
"Marry me."
He chuckles, eyes lost as they stare at me, "You know that I will."
I stare back at him, blinking my eyes. I start laughing suddenly, finding it
completely adorable that he just brushed past that.
"What?" Harry joins in on my laughter, an amused look on his face.
I peck his lips, and ask again, "Marry me, Harry."
He's silent this time, searching my eyes. I watch as his smile slowly fades
away as he realizes what I'm really asking. My own vanishing, seriousness
taking over my face before I continue, "I'm asking you to marry me. I want
to be your fiancé, Harry. I want to start planning our wedding together, and
I want to start the rest of our lives."
"Emma..." He whispers, eyes starting to gloss over.
I unwrap his arms from around me, taking his left hand and placing it
above my heart, so he can feel how hard it's beating for him. My fingers
ghost over his features, his cheekbones and strong jaw, his plush lips and
down the bridge of his nose. He's so perfect.
"I am so in love with you, Harry. You're this perfect being that has
somehow graced me with your presence and undying love, and I don't want
to spend another day feeling this finger right here," my pointer finger glides
up and down his ring finger over my heart, "empty and bare."
One corner his lips turns up, "You've already got a ring for me, angel?"
I breathe out a laugh, "No, but there is one in that village down there we
could visit anytime. Are you saying yes?"
He fists my shirt, his other hand resting on the back of my head to bring
us as close as possible without kissing. I feel his lis graze mine as he
speaks, "Emma Everly, I would love to marry you."
"Yeah?" I ask, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide.
He laughs, "Of course, my angel. I would've married you months ago if
you let me."
I throw my hands around his neck, closing the small gap between us.
Immediately, our kiss is deep and passionate, his hands holding onto my
body as if I'll disappear if he lets go. I feel tears hit my cheeks, face
scrunching up as I realize they aren't mine.
"Harry, baby," I whisper against his mouth, pulling away to wipe off his
cheeks.
He chuckles, closing his eyes and shaking his head, "Sorry, I'm such a
sap."
"You're a romantic." I reply.
He smirks, "Yeah, I guess you had me pegged, huh?"
I smile widely and shrug, "I guess so."
There's a beat of happy silence, both of us taking in the moment before
he says, "You know, you've beaten me to every stage of our relationship."
"How so?"
"You were the one to seduce me in that shower. You said you loved me
first. You asked me to be your boyfriend. Hell, you even bought the first
drink." He counts off all our major milestones.
I laugh, "What can I say? You're too slow."
"Oh, I'm too slow, huh?" He challenges me, and I back away, seeing that
familiar glint of mischief in his eyes, "I'll show you slow."
I squeal as he lunges forward, me slipping out of his hold and running
away. He catches me quickly, though, arms wrapping around my waist, feet
off the ground. I'm laughing hard, his lips attacking my neck and shoulders,
walking us towards a giant tree off to the side. He turns me around
suddenly, large hands grasping the back of my thighs, and lifts me, pinning
me against the tree. My legs wrap around him, laughing halting when his
lips find mine.
This kiss was much hungrier, its only purpose to show me how much he
needed me. I already knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.
We were interrupted when a family of four walked into the clearing,
obviously trying to get to the lookout point. We pulled away from each
other quickly, Harry still holding me up, looking over at them with wide
eyes. I felt my face warm as the parents gave us a disapproving look,
clearly not happy that their kids walked into a random couple practically
humping against a tree.
"Sorry, uh," Harry sets me down, "just got engaged. We were a little
overexcited."
The mom's face lit up, "Oh, you did? Congratulations!"
"Oh, thanks, we'll just be getting out of your way." I say awkwardly.
 "Do you want a picture real quick?" She asks.
Harry and I look at each other, smiling slowly, both turning to say, "Yes,"
at the same time. She moved us back to our original place by the railing. We
posed for a few pictures, thanked them, and started back towards the main
trail.
"That was a little embarrassing." I say as we start walking down.
"Would've been much worse if they were about two minutes later." Harry
replies.
I look over at him, "Why's that?" I ask suspiciously.
Without hesitation, he answers, "Cause I would've had my hand down
these tight little yoga pants of yours."
My jaw drops and I squeal when he playfully slaps my ass. Another
family passes us with judgy looks, but Harry just laughs, picks me up bridal
style, and says to the next passing couple, "Don't mind us. We just got
engaged."
I bury my head into the crook of his neck in embarrassment, but Harry
just thought it was the funniest thing ever. He told people left and right that
we were newly engaged, "Look how lucky I am," and "She's beautiful, isn't
she". I kept hitting his chest, trying to get him to stop, and apologizing to
people he would randomly stop and tell.
My smile didn't drop the whole way down, feeling ecstasy all over. As
embarrassed as I was, Harry was still the cutest fucking thing I had ever
seen. When he finally dropped me, once we were at the base of the
mountain, I brought him in for a big kiss. It probably strayed a little too
much into inappropriate territory, what with the butt grab on Harry's end.
"So I was thinking..." Harry started as we pulled out of the parking lot
and down the road, "That little jewelry shop in the village has really nice
engagement rings. I saw them when I picked out my sisters Christmas
present. I know you were kind of joking, but do you want to go now?"
"Yes," I answer immediately, "but I don't want you spending that much
on-"
"I will spend however much I need to to get the perfect ring." Harry says
firmly.
"Well, then so will I." I say defiantly, knowing he won't want me to.
He looks over at me amusedly, "You know, the guy doesn't usually wear
an engagement ring."
"I'm the one who proposed here, so I'll get you a damn ring if I want to."
 He chuckles, "You're very stubborn."
"It's the Aries in me."
"How do you feel about getting married here?"
I turn my head to Harry quickly, not expecting that question, "Where?"
"I saw that the lodge down the road here has some ballrooms." Harry
said, "It's fine if you don't want to, I just thought-"
"I would love to have our wedding here, baby." I tell him, reaching over
to squeeze his thigh. "Do you want to go take a look right now?"
That's how we ended up speaking with their event coordinator, dressed in
workout clothes and sweaty, but excited and curious. She let us ask any
question imaginable, very patient with our limited knowledge. Harry knew
more simply because he had been in three weddings - his brother's, sister's,
and Mike and Naomi's. I, however, was completely clueless. We apologized
to the coordinator, telling her we literally just got engaged, and haven't done
any research. She just smiled at us, and showed us the big ballroom.
It was much too big for us, no way I would ever invite more than a
hundred people to our wedding. Thankfully, Harry was on the same page,
asking, "Do you have anything a bit smaller? We were thinking it would be
more of an intimate gathering."
That's when she showed us their corner event room. Immediately, I knew
this was where I wanted to get married. It was a large square room, a big
fireplace and gorgeous fairy light chandeliers. It was set up with rectangular
tables, set with white bouquets and candles.
"It's decorated for a wedding being held tomorrow. The space fills about
one hundred and fifty, one-twenty if you have a full five-piece band. We
can set up the aisle-way and archway against the fireplace down there." She
points to the old brick that was floor to ceiling, making it seem even bigger.
"We'll have staff to move all the chairs out of the way to make this into the
dance floor while your guests mingle and sit down to eat dinner after the
ceremony."
I turn around and look at Harry, his smile forming when he sees my face.
"What are your rates?" He asks.
For the next hour we speak with her about pricing and food options,
seasonal decorations in case we decide we want a winter wedding. She told
us to decide on a date soon, because this room is already filling up for next
summer. I was itching to just book it right then, but I knew we needed to
talk to our families to make sure nothing was planned. We also weren't even
sure if we wanted a summer wedding or not. We had so much to talk about.
By the time we got to the jewelry shop, we were both exhausted, but
determined to pick out our engagement rings. We split up, wanting it to be a
surprise. I looked over simple bands that most guys wore, but knew that
wasn't what Harry would've wanted. He liked taking risks when it came to
fashion, jewelry not exempt.
It was a small shop, so I couldn't really talk to the lady that was watching
over us in fear of Harry overhearing. I carefully look over the choices until I
get to the very end where a line of more elaborate rings laid. They weren't
specified as engagement rings, but that didn't matter much to me. I waved
over the consultant, and asked to see the last one.
It was much more intricate than I originally thought, a solid gold band,
with a line of silver trinity knots around it. I smiled down at it, knowing
instantly that it was the perfect fit. I wanted to make it more personal,
though.
I won't admit this to Harry, but I had been thinking about this moment for
a while. I knew that if he didn't pop the question soon that I would just let it
slip myself. I had even done a little bit of online shopping to see what kind
of rings were out there. But what I really wanted was to get an inscription.
One that matched the one on his watch that I had gotten him, the one he
wears nearly every day. One that showed him just how long I would love
him for.
I heard Harry talking lowly with another sales consultant, so I took this
moment to ask, "Do you guys do inscriptions?"
"Yes, we do." She answers, talking about rates and pricing for the ring I
had picked out.
It was definitely expensive, but I had been able to save up a lot of money
living rent free in Harry's house. He refused to let me pay rent, instead
agreeing that I paid for groceries, so I at least felt like I wasn't leaching off
of him.
She had me write down what I wanted inscribed on the inner band of the
ring, passing over a paper that read:
In Perpetuum Et Unum Diem
Forever and a Day.
I would love him for eternity and longer.
 I double checked the spelling online, certain it was correct, and brought
my credit card out to purchase it. It would take a day to finish the
inscription, so we would have to come back tomorrow, but that didn't matter
much to me.
"Angel, are you finished?"
I turned around to see Harry standing a little ways behind me, smiling,
hands behind his back. "Yep, but yours is special, so we need to come back
tomorrow to pick it up."
He gives me a look, "Making me wait like that..."
I step forward, slipping my arms around his waist, and whisper, "Maybe
I'll give you a nice treat if you wait patiently."
"Mmm," he leans down to peck my lips, "yes, ma'am."
I grin, "Did you find something?"
Harry nods, smile widening, "I found a matching engagement and
wedding band, so I bought both. I'll keep the band safe until the time is
right."
"Can I see?" I batting my eyes up at him.
"How about when we get back to the cottage?"
I huff, but nod, knowing we'll probably want some privacy. The drive
back seemed to take forever, me jumping out of the car quickly when he
finally parks. He chuckles behind me as I unlock the door for us. We take
the dogs out for a second, shower to get off the old sweat clinging to our
bodies, and settle down on the couch.
Impatiently, I wait for him to bring out the ring box, excited to see what
he got. I didn't own expensive jewelry. In fact, the only nice pieces I had
were the bracelet and ring that Harry got me for Christmas. I wear them
nearly every day, the pieces holding a very special place in my heart. They
were a symbol of his love before we truly admitted it to ourselves.
When he opened the ring box, I felt myself freeze. In front of me was the
most gorgeous ring I had ever seen. It was a round cut diamond on a thin
band decorated with smaller diamonds. I knew immediately it must've cost
a fortune, and I was hesitant to even touch it.
"Can I put it on?" I hear Harry's voice sound.
I look up at him, seeing his apprehensive face. I chuckle, knowing he's
nervous that I might not love this beautiful symbol of our love. My hand
lands on the back of his neck, and pulls him forward into a searing kiss.
"Does that mean I did good?" He asks.
 I laugh, "You did very good. Although, I know you spent too much
money on me!"
He grins, ignoring my pouting face, "Give me your hand, angel."
I hold out my left hand, watching him place it on my ring finger. It fits
perfectly.
"Fuck, this is so pretty, baby." I tell him, still staring at the rock on my
finger. "Now I'm a little nervous for mine."
"Don't be." He murmurs, looking down at my hand as well, "I'll love
whatever you give me."
"I love you."
"I love you too, fiancé." He grins cheekily, and I can't hold back any
longer, pouncing on him, determined to let him know just how much I love
this. Us.

Hemma's venue
Harry's ring minus the inscription
Emma's engagement ring and wedding band
Chapter Sixty-Four

HARRY
A Year and a Half Later
I knew there was no reason to be so nervous.
I never doubted Emma's love for me, but we had spent the last eighteen
months anticipating this moment.
The moment we both say I do.
The moment we vow to spend the rest of our lives together.
The moment she takes my last name, and wears it proudly.
My stomach was churning, and my leg was bouncing, nerves racing
through me. My own thoughts were almost trying to turn against me,
putting images of Emma leaving me alone at the alter. I shook them away,
standing up to walk off some of my anxiety.
I was alone in the little room set up for the groomsmen, Oliver, Jason,
Mike, and Niall all giving me a moment to myself. My written vows were
sitting in my pocket like a piece of lead weighing me down. I had been
nervous all day, but within the last few minutes - the moment my dad came
in to say "five minutes til showtime!" - the butterflies had been set loose.
In all honesty, I needed to see Emma. She would calm my nerves the
instant my eyes found her, but she was in the room next door.
I hadn't seen her since this morning, six hours ago when we left the lodge
suite we were staying in, to come downstairs. Our parents had surprised us
by paying for the honeymoon suite on the top floor for the two nights we
were here. It was nearly as big as our house, and had one of the best views
of the snow fallen grounds and mountain.
The same mountain she proposed to me on.
I still smiled just thinking about it, how daft I was by not realizing what
she had asked me. My perfect little angel asking me to marry her. I don't
even know why I hadn't done it before then. I think I was so focused on our
health, both mental and physical, after surviving what we did, that I forgot.
It's almost like my brain already considered us married.
In just a moment, I will step out of this room, walk down that aisle, and
wait for the love of my life to join me. I took in a deep breath when I heard
a knock on the door.
Jason came inside a second later and surveyed me. He cocked an
eyebrow, "You're fucking shitting yourself aren't you?"
I groan, "Is it that obvious?"
"You're as pale as a ghost."
"She's here, right? She didn't flee or run off-"
"Harry, shut the hell up. Emma's probably just as nervous as you." He
tells me, coming up and straightening out my suit, "Remember: she loves
you. Why, I'm not sure-"
"Jason, I swear to god-"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," He chuckles, "Had to get you back for your
pathetic excuse for a pep talk when I got married."
Years ago when he married Tony, I had been in his position, watching
him freak out right before the wedding. I had definitely ribbed him a few
times, so I guess I deserved this.
"How much more time?" I ask him, taking a swig of my water.
"I actually came to get you." He takes a look at my suddenly frightened
face, and says, "Harry, I promise you the moment you see her walk down
the aisle everything disappears. Just keep your shit together for the next five
minutes, okay?"
I nod, feeling queasy, "Okay, let's just get out there. This room is starting
to feel small."
Jason leads the way to the door, my eyes landing on most of the wedding
party. Our parents, all my groomsmen, and all the bridesmaids except Millie
- who I assumed was still in the room beside mine with Emma - turned to
look at me. My mom came rushing up, already tearing up, and said, "Oh,
honey, you look so handsome!"
"Mum," I chuckled, pulling her into a hug. I felt a bit of my nerves
subside seeing everyone, greeting the girls, Naomi, Maura, and, of course,
Lu. They were all dressed in lavender bridesmaid dresses, all different
styles, Emma wanting the girls to feel comfortable with what they were
wearing.
 Naomi squeezed my arm after I hugged her, whispering in my ear, "I'm
so happy for you, Harry."
"Thanks," I replied bashfully, looking at the ground, "how is she?"
"Oh, she's completely freaking out." Lu said, "By the way, here's her
vows. None of us have pockets, and she really didn't want to shove it down
her cleavage."
I laughed, taking the small folded up piece of paper from my sister. My
hand paused, however, when I saw her handwriting on the top. The tidy
scrawl making every one of my nerves dissipate. My heart sped up and
warmed, and all I wanted in that moment was to see her.
I love you.
Three simple words that we had said to each other now countless times.
I love you.
I couldn't wait to see her. I couldn't wait to hear these vows she had been
so stressed about writing perfectly. I couldn't wait to read her my own vows,
for her to hear my confessions and promises to her. I just desperately
wanted to be able to call her my wife.
Faintly, I heard the sound of clicking by my ear, so I turned my head to
see a camera, facing down, the perfect view of Emma's I love you. Sarah
smiled at me, taking the camera away, saying, "Got a great picture of you
reading her note to you, so I wanted to get the actual view of it. That way
when I put together your wedding booklet it'll be like a story."
"Wedding booklet?" I ask her.
"Yeah, don't tell Emma, but my wedding present to you guys is going to
be the full collection of pictures from tonight. I would usually just send you
over all the copies, and you two could do as you please, but I actually like
you guys so I wanted to do something special." She explains.
I smile, "Thank you, Sarah. She's going to love that."
"Don't worry about. We're vacation buddies now, just wait until you see
what Mitch is getting for you two."
"You guys didn't have to get us two-"
"Oh, shut it." She waves me off, "I've got to get in there, so I'm
positioned correctly at the end of the aisle."
With that she left abruptly, reminding me that in about one minute I
would be walking down the aisle myself. My mom gets us all sorted into
place, the groomsmen filing in first, followed by my parents, arm in arm,
and finally me and Emma's mom walking down together. Emma had
decided to invite her biological father after all, much debate over red wine
about this, but she refused to have him actually involved in the wedding.
She was also determined to walk down the aisle herself, claiming how
much she hated the notion of anyone giving her away like they owned her,
so I offered to walk Kate down myself.
Her arm hooked around mine, beaming up at me, saying, "You look very
handsome, Harry."
"Thank you, Kate." I smile down at her, "You look absolutely beautiful.
David's a lucky man."
About six months ago, Kate started dating a man close to her age that she
worked with. Emma and I had met him about two months in when her mom
decided it was serious enough to warrant a meeting. David was kind and
funny, widowed when his first wife died in a car accident. It had taken him
a long time to heal, but eventually he felt up for dating. Emma adored him,
easily seeing how happy he made her mom. She told me one night that she
didn't think she's ever seen her mom smile that much.
Kate blushes, "Stop, save the charm for my daughter."
I breathe out a laugh, finding our way to the end of the aisle, our guests
watching as I gave Kate a kiss on the cheek, and then turning to hug my
parents. I walked up to Oliver, my best man, Jason, Mike, and Niall falling
in line afterwards. Rebecca, who was officiating our wedding, held her hand
out to squeeze mine.
Emma and I decided really early on we didn't want a priest or minister to
marry us, neither being particularly religious. Rebecca had offered one
weekend when we were visiting my family, since she had already officiated
her and Chloe's friends wedding.
"Just breathe." She whispers to me, reminding me to take a deep breath
in.
The music changed, a soft piano melody filling the room around us. My
eyes immediately moved to the doors I had come from just moments ago,
seeing them open again, Maura the first to walk out.
It seemed to take forever, Naomi and my sister following behind Maura
slowly. I glanced around our audience, seeing Chloe and Tony near all the
children, surprisingly behaving themselves. Sophie caught my eyes, her
face lighting up and waving frantically at me. I chuckled, waving back at
her. Emma's father, Peter was sitting next to Maddie and Joe, whom Emma
happily invited. We actually saw them quite a bit, Sunday's usually reserved
for a family dinner, Lu and Oli joining on many occasions. Emma had
finally had the large family she always wanted, no matter how surprising it
came about.
As Millie walked up to the alter, she sent me a wink, making me smile.
With the help of her parents she had finally gone to school. She was in the
middle of a nursing degree, baby Emma - now nearly two years old - was
staying with her parents. Millie had debated bringing her, knowing that
there would be other kids, but she hadn't had a moment to herself in two
years, and wanted to be able to have fun tonight without having to watch
her little one. Emma gave her a pass, knowing that Millie never took time
for herself anymore, either working, studying, or taking care of little Emma.
We all needed some time to ourselves.
My body stiffened as I heard the music change once more. Now a
beautiful mix of instruments in the background. Everything was blocked
out, however, when I finally saw her. My vision zeroed in on her,
everything going silent.
She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's like she transcended
to this otherworldly presence. She couldn't be real. If this was a dream, it
would be where I would wake up to my empty bed.
But then she smiled.
And it was the greatest sight. She was absolutely beaming, eyes focused
on me. Her hair was down and lightly curled, looking effortless as it laid
over on shoulder. One side pinned back with a delicate pearl hairpin. Her
makeup was simple and classic, and her neck and clavicles were bare, her
caramel skin glowing as she made her way to me. My heart rate picked up,
shuffling a bit on my feet, as I looked down her body. Her white wedding
gown hugged her body, flaring out below her hips, small details of lace
throughout out. Dainty sleeves fell halfway down her arm, the curve of her
bust accentuated with an elegant dip into her cleavage.
I don't think I have ever seen her look so... her.
Everything we've been through, every second of our lives thus far, had
led us to this moment. A moment where we were surrounded by the people
we loved and who loved us most. A moment where we could share our
love, vow our lives over to the other. It was like we were made specifically
for this moment.
Soulmates.
 She had called us that once, years ago now, and I have never felt like a
word described us better. We were made for one another, our souls tethered
together. Our whole lives we've wandered around aimlessly, searching for
the other half of our heart, not even knowing it. We've been blind, senseless,
until we met.
She was so close now, my fingers itching to reach out to her, the last few
hours away from her too much for me to handle. I swallow down my
emotion, knowing I was seconds away from the tears flowing. I take in a
deep breath as she steps up to the alter, her own eyes swimming in tears.
Emma steps closer to me, her hand cupping my jaw, thumb wiping away
the tear that escaped my lashes. I couldn't help myself, leaning down to
close the gap, kissing her suddenly. Vaguely, I hear small laughs, a few
sniffles that I'm sure are our moms in the front row.
"Okay, okay, save it for the I Do's." Rebecca jokes.
We separate involuntarily, my hand clasping hers as we take our spots in
front of everyone. Emma turns to hand over her bouquet, coming back to
me, smiling, and saying quietly, "I like your suit."
I grin, my fitted black suit embroidered with gold accents. I knew she
would like this, and I didn't want to go too crazy for our wedding. I knew
the focus would be on her anyways, deservingly so.
The crowd was sitting down, laughing lightly at our inability to keep our
hands to ourselves, so it gave us a second of privacy. I answer back, "Thank
you, angel. You look..." I sigh out, "Words don't even..."
She looks down bashfully, my heart hammering as I stare at her like she's
an actual angel standing in front of me, calling me to heaven. Rebecca
clears her throat, starting her speech when everyone was settled. I barely
paid attention, deciding instead to take in the delicate features of her face.
The roundness of her cheeks, the almond shape of her eyes, icy blue gazing
right back at me. Her skin looked soft and inviting, wanting so bad to hold
her face in the palms of my hands.
And her lips...
Her lips, soft and supple, the alluring curve daring me to just say, "fuck
it" and kiss her again. I was getting impatient, wanting this to be over with
so she could finally be mine. I smile at the thought, her last name changing
for the rest of her life, the ring that I'll be slipping onto her left hand a sign
to everyone that she is taken.
 I've been wearing my ring religiously, the feeling of it on my ring finger
better than I could describe. I haven't had it on all day, making me feel
slightly naked without it. Oliver had both our rings in his pocket, holding
them for us until we were official.
"Harry?"
I blink, looking at my sister who was watching me amusedly, "Huh?"
The crowd watching us chuckles, as she says, "I know Emma is very
beautiful, but you are carrying her vows, and she would really like to read
them to you."
"Oh, yeah, uh, sorry," I say, face warming while I try and dig out her
vows from my suit pocket. Emma was giggling, cheeks a little pink, both
her hands clutching my left hand. "Got a bi' distracted."
"We know." Rebecca teases, smiling at me and rolling her eyes.
Finally, I feel them, pulling out her vows, checking to make sure it was
the right one. I take a deep breath and hand the paper over. I watch as her
hands shake unfolding it, her chest expanding with a long, deep breath. She
glances up at me once more, her blue eyes as striking as ever, and starts
reading.
"Harry, you are the love of my life. My soulmate." I smile down at her
while she shakes out her last bit of nerves. "I could never truly tell you how
much you mean to me, because those words don't exist. I don't even know
how I was getting by day to day before you. It's all a blur, like my life
officially started when I met you in that gym. I've thought a lot about the
past, and how we met, and I've realized that we've had these parallels in our
lives, drawing us to each other. It didn't matter if I ever joined the same gym
as you, because we would've found our way. That's what soulmates do. And
I am so lucky that I got you. You are so special, Harry. You don't even
realize it."
Her eyes left the page to look into my misty eyes. "You're perfect. And I
know you don't see it, but I promise you that I do. I see it every day when I
wake up next to you. I want you to see it, though, because, Harry, you've
loved me so easily and unconditionally. You've taught me what it feels like
to be cared for in a way I never thought I deserved. From the start of us,
you've always built me up, and I can't thank you enough for that, because
you've also taught me to love myself."
She quickly wiped a stray tear off her cheek, and continued, "You are my
champion, my cheerleader, my rock. I never have to second guess myself
around you, or feel insecure, because you have now spent years showing
me how much you love me. Since that fateful Halloween." She breathed out
a laugh, and I reached out my hand to take one of hers and squeeze it.
"Sometimes I still can't believe you knew so early, because I was clueless. I
didn't think someone like you could actually want me in any way. Now I
never question that, because you don't give me a chance too. You show your
love so comfortably, in private, around our friends and family... You've
never, not once, made me question your love. And I question a lot of things
- like too much. I'm the queen of overthinking -" A round of laughter
echoes through the room, but we've both forgotten our audience. "But not
you. It's so easy to love you, and the fact that I get to do that every day is
so... heavenly."
She takes in one more deep breath before finishing, "I have so much to
thank you for, but the biggest is gifting me your heart. I promise to take
good care of it. Never betray it or damage it. I will hold onto it for forever
and a day. I love you, Harry. I will always love you, and I'm so fucking
happy."
I laugh, wiping away my own tears. She folds up the paper, and hands it
to me to put back in my suit pocket. I pull her in close to me, by her hand,
kissing her again, not giving a shit that we technically weren't supposed to. I
can hear more laughter in the background, but ignore it.
"I love you." I whisper to her when we separate.
The most beautiful smile I had ever seen graces her face. She looks so
happy in this moment that I never want to leave it. I memorize the look, her
eyes shining up at me, lips curved upwards, the way her skin is actually
glowing. I don't even think I realize how much I love her. My body can't
comprehend this feeling, a weird mix of buzzing and floating. I feel as
though I ascended to the highest form of love, one where I breathe only for
her. I was high and I never wanted to go down.
"Harry, it's your turn to read your vows." My sister says.
I look over at her, and she gives me an encouraging look. I also see the
tears in her eyes, wondering how badly Emma's words got to everyone. I
could just imagine our moms crying like little babies right now.
"Right," I clear my throat, digging out my own vows. With a deep breath
in, I start, "Emma, my angel, my love, you are absolutely everything to me.
And when I say that, I mean that I couldn't live without you. I was
drowning before you came into my life, suffocating daily by a million
different things. You were my air when I needed it the most. I didn't think I
could let someone in so easily. I let you see me at my weakest, most
vulnerable moments before we were even us, and you took care of me in a
way no one had before. You're this calming presence in my life, your voice,
your smile, your touch... It's everything I never knew I needed."
Our hands were dangling between us, only connected by our fingers
hooked lazily onto each other. The hand holding my vows was shaking, just
as hers was, making it a little hard to read, but I had stared at these words
for so long I practically had them memorized. "I never told you this, but
that first night we spent together you climbed into my bed and laid down on
my side. You looked so beautiful that night, like you belonged right there,
that I couldn't tell you to move. So from then on the left side of the bed was
mine, and waking up to you every day is like I'm still dreaming. Like the
person of my dreams, this unbelievable human my mind had made up for
me years ago, actually exists. I really do wonder if I'll ever wake up. If this
is all a cruel dream, because I don't know what I did to deserve you. God, I
love you so much it hurts sometimes. I feel like I can't hold it in, like I
could burst from being filled with so much love."
I blink back my tears, and exhale a long breath, "But you're there, right
next to me, every morning. I am lucky enough to make you coffee every
morning and see you in my clothes and hold you as you fall asleep while
we're trying to catch up on our shows. I'm lucky enough that you'll be the
mother of our children, and they'll never go a day without feeling how
powerful it is to be loved by you. It's like nothing else in this world to be
loved by you, because you don't hold back. You're the most caring and kind
person I've ever met. I really don't thinks there's a bad bone in your body,
and I think I kind of need that sometimes. You point me in the right
direction, always. Especially, when I'm being dumb and really need it."
She chuckles at me, her hand now clenched around mine. "Emma, I
promise to be the best for you, for our future children. and grandchildren,
because that's what you deserve. I have loved watching you become this
woman standing before me, and you give me too much credit, because you
did that. You changed and began to love yourself. Sure, I was there, and I
might've helped you, but you saw that you were worth so much more than
you were giving yourself. You're so strong, angel. Such an infallible force
in this world that can be so cruel. I promise to never let you go a day
without knowing that you're the best, most incredible person I've ever
known. And it's me who's the lucky one. To be loved by you. It's the
greatest gift. You are my air, my sun, my conscious, my heart... You're my
everything, Emma."
I look up from my vows to see tears streaming down her face. I step
closer, folding up the paper and sticking it back in my pocket. When I'm
done, I wipe her tears away and hold her face in my hands, her hands
holding onto my wrists. She's looking up at me like I'm her everything as
well, making me smile, and say, "I will always love you, and I am also so
fucking happy."
She laughs at my last words, both of us repeating the very same words
we used in place of I love you, back when we were too scared to say it, just
as we were beginning our life together. Neither of us knew at the time, but
those words meant absolutely everything to us. They were a sliver of hope
in a cave of uncertainty and fear, not knowing exactly how the other person
felt.
By the time we were allowed to kiss again, I was practically jumping at
the chance to feel her lips against mine. We didn't waste a second, her hands
finding the lapels of my suit jacket while mine cupped her jaw. Neither
cared that we had an audience, a desperate need to taste and to feel our love.
I felt the corners of my lips turn up, a smile creeping its way into our
kiss. Then, like magic, I felt her smile against me. My favorite kiss. We
laughed as we separate, replacing our embrace with small pecks until we
finally turn to the crowd, our friends and family, clapping and standing. I
can feel Emma shrink a bit, remembering that we were the center of
attention, and started to walk her back down the aisle. She didn't breathe
until we walked through the double doors, me pulling her around the corner
so we couldn't be seen, and kissed her again.
"Harry," she laughed, "I love you so much."
I hum against her lips, "Emma Styles..."
She pulled back, my eyes opening to meet hers. She was looking at me so
intensely my heart stopped. Her hand came up, knuckles grazing my cheek,
and whispers, "Emma Styles..."
"My wife."
Her smile returns, blinding me, "My husband."
We didn't get another moment to ourselves, the rest of the wedding party
filing out into the hallway. There was hugging and crying everywhere,
everyone pulling us in different directions. I heard clicks in the background,
Sarah capturing every little moment, and when Emma and I finally signed
the papers, making us officially husband and wife, I don't think I had ever
felt this happy.
Emma's wedding dress
This is the closest thing I could find for Harry's suit. Imagine it a
little more embellished with gold accents. Love the tie thing, though lol
Chapter Sixty-Five

EMMA
The closest we got to having any sort of alone time was during our first
dance. Otherwise, we were surrounded by people nonstop. So we took that
moment to whisper things to each other. As the music played around us, we
swayed and held each other, bodies as close as we could possibly get. Harry
nudged my nose, turning me to the side, so he could whisper, "I'm gonna
love you forever."
"Forever and a day" I say back.
He smiles beautifully at me, "Can you believe we actually did it?"
I laugh and shake my head, "No, this all feels like a dream, honestly. Like
we're going to wake up and we'll be back in June testing out cakes."
"I've been thinking that all day. Was sure this was all a dream when you
walked down that aisle."
I roll my eyes, feeling my face warm a bit. Glancing back up at him, he's
watching me fondly as I try and hold back my smile, "Shut up."
"You are so beautiful. Like I can't even believe it. Not sure I want to take
this off you tonight." He teases.
"First off, you are not allowed to fuck me when this is on." I warn him in
a harsh whisper, "It was way too expensive for that."
He pouts adorably, "But I've been picturing hoisting you up and taking
you against the wall." He leans down the kiss me. "You know that's my
favorite."
I grin, pecking his lips, "Do you see how tight this is? There is no way
you are getting it past my hips."
"I do see how tight it is. Not the only thing I know is tight-"
"Harry, our family is standing very close to us." I warn him.
He laughs, dipping his head down to kiss my bare shoulder, "I'm sorry,
darling. I'll keep it PG in front of everyone. But you do look absolutely
stunning. My heart stopped for a bit there."
 "Me? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You're the one that's
glowing."I say back.
I hear him breathe out a laugh near my ear, "I do look pretty good, don't
I?"
I move him out of the crook of my neck to look him in the eyes when I
say, "Beautiful."
His eyes softened, "I love you."
"And I love you."
I was in a constant state of euphoria. My body tingling with happiness,
eyes watering every few minutes, heart pounding when we would make eye
contact. So much was going on around us, but in the few seconds our eyes
met everything would disappear.
I had never felt the type of love I had today when I heard his vows to me.
I felt him so deeply that I actually thought our souls had intertwined. We
were one now, an entity bound together by love and law, and I really was so
happy.
By the time midnight hit, we made our way up to the suite. Both of us
were exhausted as hell, and we knew we would have to be up early to drive
to the airport to fly to Jamaica for our honeymoon, but I don't think either of
us cared all that much. We were itching to be alone, locked up in our room
where no one could interrupt us.
The moment Harry closed the door behind us, a do not disturb sign on the
front handle, I turned around to face him. He smiled at me, coming up to
cup my face. I'm surprised when he doesn't kiss me right away, instead
choosing to just look at me. He seems so lost in the moment, eyes studying
me softly.
My hand comes up to graze his hand on my face, "Harry?"
His eyes move from my lips to my eyes, "Sorry, just want to remember
every little detail from tonight."
I smile, "Will you help me take this dress off?"
"Oh, yes, I would love to do that." He says cheekily. I snort, turning
around and gathering my hair off to the side for him. I feel his hands on me,
and a moment's hesitation before, "Uh, how do I get this thing off?"
I couldn't hold back my laugh, "There's buttons lining the inside."
I hear him hum, the feeling of his fingers grazing against my spine as he
tries to unbutton it. It takes him a while, but eventually he makes his way
down, releasing me from the tight confines of the beautiful dress. I suck in a
deep breath, the first real one I think I've taken all night, and let him slide it
off my body. I don't need to tell him to be careful, his touch delicate and
soft. I use his shoulders to steady myself as I step out of the gown, and
watch him as he drapes it over one of the chairs in our room.
He turns around, eyes lowering as he takes me in. I watch him smirk,
walk back up to me, and ask, "What are these?" He snaps the band of my
Spanx playfully, making me squeal.
"Don't make fun of me." I pout.
"I'm not, darling, but you know you don't need this." He says softly.
"Just wanted to be perfect." I mumble out, "I haven't had much time to
get to the gym lately with all the planning."
He frowns at me, "You know what's perfect?"
I sigh, smiling softly, knowing he's going to say something endearingly
sweet, "What?"
He breathes out a laugh at my expression. His fingers curl around the
band of the tight, white Spanx, beginning to drag them down my body. He
sinks to his knees, eyes never leaving mine as he strips the body-hugging
material off my body.
I stand before him, now in my white lingerie that I picked out for tonight
and my heels. Slowly, tantalizingly, his eyes move down my body, his large
hands moving up and down the sides of my legs, feeling my strong calfs
and the meat of my thighs. They come behind to grope my bum, pulling me
in closer, so he can peck little kisses into the skin of my thighs.
"This." He says hoarsely, hands roaming my legs again, "You."
He kisses at all my stretch marks, taking his time to show me just how
much he loves them. Slowly he moves to my lower stomach, kissing and
marking me. I know all his little marks will be visible in the bikinis and
swimsuits I've bought for our week long trip, and I can't help but get more
heated at the thought of his primal need to claim me. By the end of tonight,
I'll be covered in him.
"You smell so good." He breathes in near my hip bone, "What is this?
Smell like vanilla and cocoa."
I smile, "It's a new lotion."
"I love it."
Suddenly, he hooks my leg over his shoulder, my hand bracing against
the wall, the other finding his hair. I look down as he kisses all over my
white panties, teasing me where I want him most. I whimper when I feel his
tongue glide over my covered folds, and, thankfully, he hooks my panties to
the side and doesn't waste another moment.
His tongue glides all over me, poking in and out of my opening, circling
my clit slowly. He's sucking and toying with me, and I fucking love it. He
takes his time going down on me, relishing in my taste. His eyes stay closed
the entire time, his moans and groans showing me he's getting just as much
pleasure out of this as I am.
I'm feeling dizzy and buzzy, rolling my head back and closing my eyes.
We're silent except our pants and moans, the occasional whimper on my
end. I start rolling my hips against his mouth, my body moving on its own
accord. I feel Harry's hands tighten around me, squeezing at the meet of my
ass and thighs. I know he's holding back, that he would like nothing more
than to destroy me, but he's taking his time. He's memorizing every detail
from tonight.
It takes me a while to reach my high, his tongue moving lazily until it's
not. Out of nowhere, he sucks my clit into his mouth with force, my head
snapping down to look at him, mouth wide open. His brows are furrowed,
eyes shut tight, as he eats me out. My stomach is clenching, legs beginning
to shake.
And then I'm feeling waves of relief flow through me, a strangled cry
escaping from my throat. My orgasm hits me fast and hard, nearly
collapsing on him, but his hands hold me up, steadying my weak legs.
Harry kisses his way up my body until he finds my lips, his tongue
caressing mine passionately.
Without warning, he picks me up bridal style and walks me over to the
bed. He lays me down gently, and starts to take off his clothes. I move onto
my belly, feet kicked up and crossed in the air, chin resting on my fists. My
eyes rake him in has he strips little by little. He's smirking when his shirt
comes off, all his glorious tattoos showing.
"I missed those." I say quietly.
One of his eyebrows raises, "Hm? My tattoos?"
I nod, "I love your tattoos."
"What's your favorite?" He asks while he starts on his pants.
I think for a second, "Probably the one tarot card-skull guy you got going
on on the back of your bicep."
His trousers drop to the floor, now only covered by his underwear. He
laughs at my answer, "Really?"
 "Yeah, I think it's cool." I answer.
"Cool, huh?" He says with a giant smile, stopping right in front of me.
His bulge is clear as day, directly in front of my face. I feel my mouth start
to water. "Would you ever get a tattoo?"
I nod immediately, glancing up at him, "Yeah, for our kids."
He stares at me for a second, finally unsheathing himself. He's hard as a
rock, bobbing in the air and resting upwards. My mouth drops when I see
the familiar band around the base of his penis.
"Have you been wearing this all night?" I ask him.
"Wanted to last for you. Knew my emotions would get the better of me,
and I want you to feel good. Multiple times." Harry answers, fisting at his
cock.
I lean forward, taking his head in-between my lips and suck like a
lollipop. He groans above me, other hand tangling up in my hair. I pop off,
and say, "Always thinking of me, aren't you?"
"Of course." He answers breathlessly, "Got to take care of my angel."
I smile, kissing at his tip once before shuffling forward and taking him in
my mouth. He sighs in relief, letting me take my time on him as he did me.
My tongue licked up the prominent vein on the underside of his cock,
circling around the ridges of his head. I inch my way down, bobbing and
sucking on him until I can feel the cock ring he had waiting for me.
But he ripped me off too soon, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside
me, pulling me over and on my knees, a husky, "Need you right now,"
leaving his lips.
I comply easily, straddling his legs, hooking my underwear to the side
and sinking down on him. It seemed to last forward, his impressive length
still shocking me. He fills me up so much, reaching inside deep, rubbing me
in all the right places. Our chests are flush together, the rough material of
my lace bra against his slightly sweaty chest.
His hands guide my hips to roll, my hands holding onto him for dear life.
Our foreheads and noses are touching, mouths open in ecstasy at finally
feeling each other. His heavy breaths hit my chin and neck, my hips moving
more aggressively. My rolls are long and sweeping, feeling his cock slip in
and out of me, hearing the slick sounds of my arousal filling the air.
Once again, there's no speaking, a rarity for us, but there's something
more special about it this way, our full attention on our bodies connecting
over and over. My fist tightens in his hair when I feel his hand move, thumb
finding my sensitive clit. He wastes no time in rubbing it, matching the
rhythm we've set for ourselves.
In no time, I'm cumming all over him, my walls spasming and clenching
around his cock. He groans lewdly, head rolling back at the feeling, my own
coming down to rest on his shoulder. I'm breathing roughly, two orgasms
already taking a lot out of me, and I know I'm in for many more.
He keeps himself fully submerged in my heat as I calm down, only lifting
me when I nod my head against his shoulder. He settles me back down on
the bed, my head resting on a pillow. Staring down at my body, his hands
find my underwear and start pulling them down my legs. He then reaches
up and undoes the front clasp of my bra, plucking it from underneath me.
He keeps my heels on and I don't bother asking why as he takes my nipple
into his mouth.
He doesn't waste any more time, though, pushing his cock back into me. I
keen as he fills me up for the second time, back arching in pleasure.
Everything's hypersensitive now, my two orgasms causing me to reach the
edge quickly. Harry straightens up, however, his hands lifting my hips off
the mattress to stay connected to him as his knees hold him upright. I spread
my legs as wide as possible so he can fit in easily.
I gasp as he starts to thrust into me, his eyes moving between my breasts
- jiggling from the movement - to where we were connected. This was
faster than before, more primal, his face determined to make me cum again.
I watch in awe as his jaw clenched, brows furrow, and his hair starts to cling
to his forehead due to the sweat building up.
"C'mon, Emma... Cum for me, angel." His hand is wide against my
stomach as he starts to beg, sounding slightly desperate. I feel myself start
to tip over that familiar ledge, hips jerking against him, and my hand
clutches at his wrist.
"Ah!" I cry out, mouth hanging open and eyes shut tight as another
immensely powerful orgasm rips through me.
At this point, my body is vibrating in pleasure, limbs feeling light and
floaty. Vaguely, I feel my hips be set down, and then I'm engulfed in his
body. Harry's face falls into the crook of my neck, kissing and sucking love
bites into my heated skin. As I come down from my high, a lazy smile on
my face, I feel him pumping slowly in and out of me.
My hands find his back, rubbing up and down, "Baby..."
 "You're doing so well for me, darling. Such a good girl cumming all over
my cock like that." He growls, his voice strained.
I nod, "I'm a good girl."
"Yes, you are. So good to me." He praises me, "Love feeling your walls
clench around me like that. It's like heaven."
"More."
I hear him snicker distantly, "Think you need a moment, angel."
I'm shaking my head, "No, no, I'm ready." I whine, "Please, baby, please,
need-"
"Okay, okay, I've got you, angel." He assures me.
He takes a moment to adjust, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder,
and pushing the other one wide against the bed. The stretch feels good on
my thighs, and I know instantly that I'll be able to feel him hit my G-spot so
easily in this position.
He rolls his hips into me, more sensual and gentle than before. If that was
a quick fuck, this was him making love to me. His hands were hot on my
skin, holding me in place. My hands find his hair, pulling him up so I can
kiss him.
His rolls were slow, matching the tempo of our embrace. I feel so
spellbound by his actions, changing from moment to moment, but I think he
needed to get out that roughness, that primal need he's probably been
feeling all night. Now that that was out of the way, he could worship my
body the way I know he wants to.
His lips are soft against mine, plush and inviting. His tongue glides over
my bottom lip before he rolls it inside my mouth, meeting mine slowly. I
can still taste the wine he had with dinner, my hand fisting at his hair now.
We slowly separate, pecks replacing our sensual kiss, his hips picking up
the pace now. I can see in his face how badly he wants to cum, the cock ring
holding back his orgasm. I feel myself start to clench around him again, his
groan sounding strained.
"Oh god, Em, angel-" He gasps out, "Love you. I love you so fucking
much."
"I'm so close." I whine, feeling an intense amount of pleasure rolling
through my body.
"I know you are, angel." He says breathlessly.
His thrusts turn sloppy, hands gripping my legs tightly, and I let out a
strangled moan of his name as I'm overcome with ecstasy. My whole vision
goes white, body convulsing underneath him, my orgasm violent and
powerful. I'm completely wrecked, tears leaving the corners of my eyes, my
walls barely letting him thrust in and out.
"Fuck!" He curses out, speeding up and faltering in rhythm.
Just as I start to regain some sense of semblance, I feel my whole body
tense as another orgasm destroys me, this time taking Harry with me. I hear
his moan of relief, cum coating my walls, riding us both through ecstasy
with choppy thrusts.
It feel like hours later, both of us breathing hard, sweaty, Harry collapsed
fully on me, that I start to come back down. I've had plenty of orgasms with
Harry, but never like that. That was a level of pleasure I hadn't reached
before tonight, emotions escalating our actions. We were both so
overwhelmed with love that it was bound to be explosive when we came up
here.
I loved this man so much, more than my heart and mind could
comprehend. I felt it rolling out of me in waves, sure I was glowing from
his love. Eventually, I felt his lips start to kiss my neck, little pecks mixed
with full on tongue. I didn't even know how he had the energy to do that,
my own body weightless and heavy at the same time.
My head rolls back as he makes his way up my neck, nipping at my jaw,
and, finally, kisses my lips. It's slow and light, clear exhaustion from both of
us, but I can feel his unspoken words.
"I love you." I whisper against his lips, feeling the slight upturn of them.
His smile.
†††
I gaze out into the see, the sun rising out of the horizon. We've been in
Jamaica for four days now living in this cute bungalow. We've done a lot -
besides yesterday when we stayed inside all day in bed. The water was
warm, the sand nearly white, and the sun was hot, beating down on our skin
as we went into town to shop or laid out on the deck.
I'll have to get Amy and Peter a present in return for paying for this
amazing trip. It's been everything we've wanted. After being surrounded by
people for weeks leading up to our wedding, we finally got to just be alone.
We liked our seclusion, both more private than our friends and family, and
this getaway, with our phones turned off, was exactly what we needed.
Harry had packed his good camera, several lenses, and also a waterproof
go-pro to film in the ocean. He's been taking nonstop pictures, making me
pose everywhere. Occasionally, I get lucky and he agrees to get his picture
taken, but he always gets a little shy. It's the cutest thing ever to see him
sheepishly look into the lens, immediately moving away after one photo.
A slight breeze blows through the open door leading out to our deck, the
silk robe tied loosely around my otherwise naked body flowing in the wind.
I haven't worn clothes in a full twenty-four hours, Harry taking me over and
over again, absolutely sensational all day and night.
He came up behind me, arms wrapping around my waist. Without
hesitation, he untied the loose knot, my robe falling open. I leaned into him,
letting his hands roam around my torso, cupping my breasts, thumbs
ghosting over my nipples. I can feel his naked body behind me, relaxed and
content, as he holds me against him, lips finding my neck.
He was showing me just how much he loved marking me up, several
very distinct love bites littering my neck. Any time I wore a bikini, the ones
on my thighs and stomach were available for anyone to see. I didn't mind
them, actually enjoying his ravenous hunger for them. As long as they were
gone by the time I had to go back to work and be around kids, I was fine.
My thighs clenched when his hand began to make his way down to my
heat, trapping it so it couldn't move. He whined against my neck, asking
pitifully, "Why?"
"Baby, I'm sorry, but I am so sore." I admit, taking his hand in mine and
turning around to face him, "Can we take a break today? I don't think my
vagina could handle any more."
He breathes out a laugh, a proud glint in his eyes, "Of course, darling.
Want to go back to bed, though? I'm exhausted, and we've only slept for a
few hours."
I nod, throwing my hands up in the air to signal I wanted to be carried.
He laughs, bending his knees to wrap his arms around my waist and back,
lifting me. My legs wrap around him and I peck his collarbones while he
walks us over to the king sized bed. It wasn't made, of course, probably
needing a cleaning after the things we did on it yesterday.
He lays me down gently, climbing on top of me, suffocating me under his
weight. I laugh, weird noises leaving my mouth as I say, "You're too
heavy!"
He lifts up, feigning offense, "Wow, that one hurt."
"Shut up!" I giggle, swatting his chest.
 He tumbles to the side, facing me, his hand on my stomach, robe still
open for him to see me. He hasn't shaved since the wedding, the stubble
now turning into more of a thin beard and mustache. I wasn't sure I would
like it, but when he was eating me out yesterday, there was something about
the coarse feel of his hair scratching against me that really turned me on.
Plus, he looked cute with it.
He sighs deeply, closing his eyes, "Love you."
I smile to myself, still feeling giddy every time I heard him say it. "I love
you, Harry."
We let the silence consume us, drifting in and out of sleep, my body
moving to face his, burying my face into his chest. The warm air
surrounded us, a blanket not necessary. Hours later, when we wake up, I'm
on my back again, Harry cuddled into my side. I realize he's awake when I
feel his thumb graze over my bellybutton.
I sigh in contentment, alerting him that I was now awake. I felt his hand
flatten over my stomach before he says, "When can we start?"
I glance down, knowing exactly what he's asking. My hand finds his hair,
twirling it around my fingers, "How about in the spring?"
I switched over to birth control pills over the summer, wanting more
control over everything. I knew Harry wanted to start as soon as possible,
but I wanted to just be his wife for a little.
"Early spring?"
I laugh, "Yes, early spring. I just want to enjoy this for a little longer."
He lifts his head, resting his chin on my chest, "I don't want to pressure
you, Em."
"You're not." I assure him, "I want it just as bad, baby, but I just want a
little more time with you. I'm being selfish."
He grins, "You can be as selfish as you want."
"Yeah?" I ask.
He nods, "Whenever you're ready, you just let me know."
I sigh, "How are you so perfect?"
He shrugs, "Can't help it."
I push him off me, his laughter ringing through the room, "You're
insufferable."
"You just said I was perfect."
"Perfectly insufferable."
 His smile is probably the biggest I've ever seen it, clear joy gleaming
from his beautiful green eyes. "C'mere, I'm not done cuddling you." He
says.
"That's more like it." I respond, scooting back into his arms, "I'm really
happy, Harry."
He hums, "I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy, angel."

Alright, guys! Thus begins Hemma Week! This is the beginning of

the last week of Kiwi, three more chapters following! I hope you all are
enjoying the end of their story, and I hope I can live up to your
expectations!
Chapter Sixty-Six

EMMA
One Year Later
After a few hours, I decided to just stay on the couch, my belly too big
and my feet already aching from standing and walking. Everyone was
coming to me anyways, or to Harry who was wandering around the house
somewhere.
Our baby shower was a joint men and women party, not seeing why it
should only be the girls who are celebrating. Both our families, all our
friends, several coworkers, and family friends all came by our new house.
We had decided to upgrade to something bigger since we were officially
starting our family. There was a giant backyard for the dogs, five bedrooms
that Harry was convinced we'll need, and an amazing kitchen that we fell in
love with right away.
I found it hard to leave our old place, having so many memories there,
but it wasn't what we needed anymore. It took us months to find this one,
tucked away in a nice neighborhood that was filled with families, and good
schools only a mile or so away. It was a bit of a drive to my work, but I
didn't mind. Harry worked from home in his office unless he was meeting
with clients.
His job as a financial advisor was going really well. Him and Tony had
made a name for themselves. It was still stressful, but he enjoyed the work
much more than when he had worked for Spectron. There were still times,
however, that I found myself limiting his working hours. He was still
learning how to manage his anxiety, and oftentimes found himself adding
extra stress that didn't need to be there.
We were determined to move everything before the babies came,
knowing how hard it would be to have two newborns and move to a
different part of town at the same time. Luckily, everything fell into place
around the summer when I was on break, so both of us could spend time
getting everything sorted and organized.
Now with the babies due in a few weeks, I was officially on maternity
leave, and Harry had finished with his last client a few days ago. Tony and
him agreed that he would take the next six months off for paternity leave,
something Harry had been especially grateful for. He was going to surprise
Tony and Jason with a small trip somewhere of their choice to thank them.
It hadn't taken us too long to start trying after we got back from our
honeymoon. In fact, I had caved within a few weeks, one night suggesting
that I skip my birth control pills. The look on his face when he realized I
wasn't joking still makes me smile to this day.
I'm nearly a hundred percent sure that we had conceived that night. We
had made love so many times, waking up over and over, hands wandering
and lips embracing. Harry had been a man obsessed that night and morning,
determined to keep as much cum in me as possible, staying inside me for
minutes after we climaxed.
Two weeks later we were staring at a positive sign, and nearly ten weeks
after that we had our OBGYN telling us it was twins. I had a full on panic
when we got home, completely freaking out, wondering how on earth we
were going to manage two babies when we hadn't even had any practice.
Surprisingly, Harry was calm about the whole thing, excitement gleaming
in his eyes. He settled me down, telling me all the little things I needed to
hear.
"Emma, angel, everything's going to be fine." Harry says, hands rubbing
up and down my arms soothingly.
"How can you say that?!" I exclaim, "Twins, Harry, twins!"
He chuckles, "I know it's a shock, but we can handle this."
"Can we, though?" I ask pitifully, "I was already nervous enough about
having one baby. What if we completely mess up, and they became
criminals or awful people or Ted Bundy-"
"Emma..." Harry interrupts me, "Nothing like that is going to happen."
"But-"
"No." He says firmly, cupping my face, "No more of this. Yes, we're going
to be exhausted, and I'm sure we're going to think we're shit parents
multiple times over the next eighteen years. But I know that you're going to
be the most amazing mother. You have so much love stored in your heart,
and they are going to be lucky to receive that. I know I am. I'm so fucking
lucky to have you, and our babies - no matter how many we end up having -
are going to love you. They're probably going to piss us the fuck off too
many times, especially when they turn into teenagers, but that won't mean
that we're bad parents, darling." He leans down to kiss me. "Remember,
we've got a whole army of people who have more experience than us. We've
got a several different mom's we can ask questions to, and also pawn the
kids off if we need a night to ourselves. We can do this, Em."
I exhale a long breath, "Sorry, I just- I never expected two."
Harry grins widely, "We're going to have two."
I can't help but smile, "You're going to be a great father, too, you know." I
tell him sincerely, "I'm probably going to be leaning on you a lot, because
I'm freaking the fuck out."
He laughs, "The moment those babies are in your arms, you'll forget
about all of it. It's going to come so naturally to you."
"I hope so."
"I know so."
I glance up at him through my eyelashes, "I love you."
He grins, "I love you, and I love these two little beans you're carrying in
here." His hands flatten against my stomach, "Just warning you... I'm
definitely going to cry when I feel them start to kick."
"I cannot believe how huge you are." Naomi says, her two year old
daughter, Louisa, playing in-between us.
"Gee, thanks." I deadpan.
"How does it feel?" She asks.
I groan, "I was feeling pretty good for a while, but this last month has
been rough. My feet are aching all the time, I can only sleep in a very
specific position, and even then it's not a good sleep. I also feel like I could
tip over very easily."
Louisa touches my round belly, petting at it, saying, "It's so hard!"
Naomi and I laugh, Naomi fixing up her daughters hair, "Be careful,
honey, she's got two little ones in there."
"Two?!" Louisa asks loudly, "How do they fit in there?"
"We'll talk about that some other time, okay?" Her mother answers.
"I have to pee." She responds unabashedly.
I snort, Naomi giving me a look, "Sorry, she still needs either Mike or me
there when she goes to the bathroom, or she uses too much toilet paper and
clogs the toilet. I'll be back in a second."
 I watch them walk away, thankful for a moment by myself. I hated being
the center of attention like this, and couldn't wait for it to be over. I also
couldn't wait to not be pregnant. A good night's sleep was all I really
needed. One night where I didn't wake up uncomfortable. I felt bad for
Harry, knowing I was keeping him awake most nights, but he never
complained.
"Hey, Em, how are you doing?"
I look up to see my brother, Joe. "What are you doing here? Thought you
couldn't make it."
He shrugs, sitting down next to me, eyes immediately moving to my
enlarged stomach, "Moved some stuff around. Couldn't miss my favorite
sister's first baby shower."
"Don't let Maddie hear you." I warn him.
"Oh, she knows I'm still pissed at her." He waves me off.
I roll my eyes at him, Joe and Maddie constantly getting in little tiffs.
They were both too similar, hardheaded and prideful, refusing to admit that
they were in the wrong. I found myself in the middle of their fights more
than I wanted.
"You're both being stupid." I tell him.
He sighs, "Yeah, I know. Just makes me so mad when she does that stuff.
She deserves better than that Ian fucker."
"What's a fucker?"
Our heads turned to the little voice asking us, Millie's daughter, Emma,
walking up to us. She was three years old now, looking just like her mother
with her blue eyes and button nose. I glare at Joe, patting the seat next to
me, in-between Joe and I.
"That's not a good word, Emma." I tell her, "Don't repeat it to your mum,
okay?"
"But he got to say it." She said, pointing at him.
He grimaces, "I didn't mean to, little one. It's not a very nice thing to call
someone, you know." Emma looks up at him, eyes wide at the unfamiliar
man talking to her. I'm surprised by his sudden care for the little girl, him
continuing, "You wouldn't want to hurt someone's feelings, would you?"
Little Emma shakes her head, "No!"
"Good girl," he smiles down at her as she maneuvers to face him on her
knees.
"What's your name?" She asks.
 "My name? My name's Joe." He answers kindly, "I'm Emma's brother."
"That's my name!"
He chuckles at her excitement, "It is. Do you have a brother?"
Her face scrunches up, making me laugh, as she answers, "Ew, no! I don't
want a brother. I want a sister."
"Girls are cooler." I add.
She nods eagerly, "Yeah, I asked mama for a sister, but she said I might
have to wait a little longer."
I hum, "Your mum's gonna need a dad first, and she's too busy loving on
you!" I tickle her sides, and she squeals, climbing on top of Joe. He laughs,
moving her to sit comfortably in his lap. Once again, I'm shocked by how
comfortable he seems around kids. "Joe, I didn't realize you were so good
with kids."
"Oh, yeah, ran a summer camp almost every summer for, like, five years.
Love kids." He answers, "By the way, I meant to ask you..."
I groan, knowing that tone of voice, "What do you need?"
He looks offended, "Okay, it's not like I ask you for a lot." I give him a
look, "Fine, I ask you for a lot, but that's only because you're a better sister
than Maddie."
I snort, "What do you want?"
"I don't need anything, promise." He starts, "I was just, uh, wondering if
someone was here...?"
I furrow my brows, "Who?"
"She was a bridesmaid at your wedding. We... talked for a few hours, and
I was thinking she might also be here to, you know... talk." He ends
sheepishly.
I stare at him for a second before glancing at Emma to see if she's paying
attention, but when I see she's playing with a little stuffed animal that the
dogs liked, I asked, "Are you trying to hook up with someone at my baby
shower?"
"You make it sound bad-"
"Oh, really?" I interrupt, knowing exactly who he was talking about.
"Okay, so it's bad, but I can't help it! We had a really good time, but she
snuck out of my room in the morning before I could ask for her number. I
just wanted to see her." He admits.
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Millie had left baby Emma with her
parents that night so she could have fun. And it looked like fun to her was
banging my little brother. I was sure he had no idea she had a kid, or that he
was in fact playing with that child. I didn't really know what to do in this
situation. This could get really messy really quick. I didn't want either of
them to get hurt.
"Um, I don't know if you should try anything with Millie." I say slowly.
"She's got a lot going on in her life-"
"Look, I know she's out of my league. She's fu-" he glances down at the
girl in his lap, "uh, she's gorgeous and smart, and probably just wanted an
easy lay, which I guess is what I am no matter how objectified I feel."
I breathe out a laugh, "Are you trying to tell me you weren't just looking
for a hookup?"
He gives me a look, "Fine, maybe at first, but we really did talk for a
while, and... I don't know! I've spent the last year trying to get her out of my
head, but I can't, alright?!"
I sigh, "Joe, I'm just not sure if she's at a place for a new relationship. I
don't want to see you get hurt."
"Yeah, maybe I should just forget it." He sigh and looks around.
"Have you had any dates recently?" I ask, attempting to kind of change
the subject.
"Had one last week, but she was dull." Joe tells me.
"Can you braid my hair?" Little Emma asks suddenly asks Joe.
He looks down at her, surprised, but says, "If you want. I'm gonna warn
you, though, if it turns out bad you can't tell your mum on me."
She giggles, shaking her head, then abruptly turning around, her legs
outstretched on his thighs. He begins French braiding her hair, telling me
that Maddie forced him to learn when they were kids cause she was terrible
at it. We spent the next five minutes talking about life, Joe telling me about
his new job at Spectron.
After Joe was done with Emma's hair, she settled in-between us again,
rubbing my belly, and making Joe rub my belly. I wish I got to see her
more, but Millie was so busy with nursing school, and they lived over an
hour away. I asked her a few weeks ago if she ever thought about moving
back, but she wasn't sure. She said she missed the city, but didn't know if
she would have the means to take care of Emma with it being more
expensive, and needing to pay childcare.
I spot Millie walking towards us, her eyes on the kid, and I shoot a glance
at Joe. He was paying attention to something Little Emma was saying until
she spotted her mom, waving at her, "Mama! I was petting Emma's belly."
She chuckles, still not looking at Joe, glancing at me, "Thanks for
entertaining her. I swear, she snuck into the sugar cabinet earlier today and
that's why she's-"
Her eyes widened as she finally noticed Joe sitting next to me. I watched
as they stared at each other, her face blushing while he had his brows
furrowed. He then looked down at the kid, flickering back up to Millie, his
eyes softening comprehension. I think it clicked in his head why I had been
so off-put on them starting anything.
"Mama, look at my hair. Is it pretty?" Little Emma asked, crawling back
over Joe.
Immediately, Millie plucked Emma off of him, setting her down on the
couch on his far side, "It looks beautiful, munchkin. Did aunty Emma do
that?"
"No, Joe did." She points at a still silent Joe.
She sends him a look, "Oh, Joe did? Well, isn't that nice."
"He's Emma's brother. Am I getting a brother?" She asks expectantly.
Millie looks at me, shocked yet again. I send her a smirk, confirming I
know all about her little tryst. "Uh, not for a while, Emma."
She pouts, "But I want to be a big sis!"
Millie's focus goes back on her daughter, and I realize that this must be
something Emma is asking a lot. I bet she's been asking about her dad too,
making my heart break for the little girl.
"I know, munchkin." Millie says softly, "You've got to be patient for
mama, though, okay?"
Emma sigh dramatically, flopping her whole body across the couch, her
head landing on Joe's leg, "Okay, mama."
Millie's shoulder drops, exhaustion evident. I couldn't believe she's raised
that kid practically by herself. She was so strong, and she had no clue.
"So..." Joe says awkwardly.
I shift uncomfortably, watching the train wreck in front of me. Millie
swallows down her nerves, "How are you, Joe? Been a long time."
"About a year." He answers, "I was surprised when you weren't there in
the morning."
I picked up my phone quickly, needing to get out of this conversation.
The only problem was that I couldn't get up by myself. I was too pregnant
and large to do it, so I quickly texted Harry.
 To Harry: SOS! Come save me! I'm sitting on the couch. This is code
red!
From Harry: On my way, darling.
"I'm really sorry about that. I didn't think you would care..." Millie
responds sheepishly.
"Millie, I thought we... I don't know, I guess I thought-"
"Joe, I had a really great time, but" she sighs, and I try to do my best to
not pay attention. "I mean, I've got a kid."
"So?"
"Sorry guys, I'm gonna steal my angel for a bit." Harry interrupts us out
of nowhere, smiling at the two of them.
They both look like they totally forgot I existed, an embarrassed feeling
spreading in the air. I took Harry's outstretched hands, and let him lift me up
off the couch. I mouth "get me out of here" placing my hands on my
stomach. He smirks, hand on my lower back leading me away from that
conversation.
"Are you going to tell me what that was about?" Harry asks as we get to
the kitchen.
"Joe and Millie hooked up at our wedding."
Harry's jaw drops, a loud laugh escaping him, "No fucking way!"
I nod, "Yep, and he had no clue she has a kid. Apparently, she snuck out
of his room in the morning while he was still sleeping."
"Wow, Millie hit it and quit it."
I scrunch up my face, "I really don't need that image in my head."
"What do you think's going to happen?" He asks, standing right in front
of me, his hands automatically finding the sides of my belly to rub.
"I don't know. Joe made it sound like he actually liked her, but I told him
it might not be the best time for them." I said.
"Why's that?" He asks curiously.
I give him a look, "C'mon, Millie lives over an hour away, is in nursing
school, and has a three year old daughter. Joe is just starting out at Spectron.
Can they really do a long distance relationship? With a kid?"
"Not really for us to decide, is it?" He shoots back.
I sigh, "I know, I know, just don't want them to get hurt."
"Well, from the looks of it, I think Joe might win her over." He tells me,
looking over my shoulder.
 I turn around quickly, looking at the couple on the couch. Millie was
trying hard not to smile, I could tell, but was failing miserably. Joe was
probably telling her one of his stupid jokes that Harry liked so much. "They
do look kind of cute together..." I say.
Harry chuckles, pressing a kiss to my neck, "Let them figure things out,
babe. They're adults."
"Barely." I retort, turning back towards him, "Can you help me? I've got
to pee again."
He smiles down at me, "Yeah, let's go before anyone else tries to stop us.
I swear, I've never had to talk to this many of my cousins in years. Not even
at the wedding did they have so many questions."
"I know, and the next person that asks me if I'm ready for the twins to
arrive..." I shake my head.
He laughs, "Yeah, believe me, I know."
We walk into one of our downstairs bathrooms, Harry locking the door
behind him. He watches as I gather up my maxi dress, stretchy and comfy,
up over my bump. I reach down to pull down my underwear, his hand
taking mine as I go to sit on the toilet.
Technically, I could do this all myself, but it was just easier to have Harry
help me. Plus, I think he really relished in the idea of me needing his help
because he got me "too pregnant". That was an ongoing joke between us.
Anytime I had any issues doing anything I would blame him and his too
fertile of semen. I was honestly surprised we hadn't had an accident before
then with the amount of unprotected sex we were having. Sure, I was on the
shot in the early days, but it's only ninety-four percent effective.
"How much longer do they have to be here?" I ask him, as I begin to pee.
He looks down at me amused, leaning against the counter in his adorable
grandpa sweater, "We still have to open all the presents."
I groan, "That's going to take like an hour. Why did we invite so many
people?"
"Because they all love us, and we love free stuff." He jokes, making me
snort, "How about we start the presents when we get back out there. I'll tell
our mums, and they can gather up everyone."
"Yes, please. I think I need a nap after this." I pull off some toilet paper
and reach down awkwardly.
"We'll get everyone out fast so you can take a little nap while I clean-"
"While we clean." I correct him.
 "While I clean." He shoots back firmly.
Harry had been trying to keep me from doing things like cleaning that
require me roaming around and bending over. In all fairness, I could barely
walk or bend over so I saw his point, but I needed some sense of freedom
and normality.
"Baby, let me help." I pout, blinking my best attempt at puppy-dog eyes
up at him.
"You know, that doesn't work as well when you're on the toilet."
I burst out laugh, holding my arms up, so he can help me stand. He's
smiling, lifting me all the way into him so he can peck my lips. "I love
you." I mumble against him.
"I love you." He says, kissing me once more.
I turn to wash my hands, and feel him pull my underwear up. I used to
get so embarrassed by him doing this, not feeling confident in how I looked
down there, especially since I quit shaving ages ago. But, of course, Harry
is Harry and had to say something ridiculously sweet, and now I don't give
two shits about him doing this for me.
I'm about to start pulling my dress down, when he stops me, turns me
towards him, still on his knees, and says, "Hold up, I want some time with
my babies."
I comb my fingers through his thick hair, as he rubs the sides of my belly
and speaks to my bump. My heart warms when he presses a few kisses right
below my bellybutton. This is his nightly and morning routine, always
needing to have a little talk with them. Sometimes he's just telling them
how much he loves them, other times he's asking them to go easy on me
that day. No matter what he says, it's always soft and sweet, and makes me
fall more and more in love with him.
Just when I think it's impossible my heart expands in my chest to allow
more love into my life. I feel so lucky every day, even when I'm crabby
from lack of sleep or hangry, because I get to have him in my life. I get this
crazy, out-of-this-world, heavenly type of love that everyone searches for. I
somehow was chosen to find my soulmate. And the fact that it was Harry,
so lovable and caring and perfect, made my heart ache at times.
I was so in love with this man.
My hand flung to my stomach in surprise, when I feel a particularly hard
kick. Harry looks up, eyes wide as they always are whenever he feels them
move around in me. I laugh at his expression, his hands moving to the front
of my belly to feel them kick some more.
It's an odd feeling, in all honesty. I still haven't gotten used to it. I
remember freaking out, calling Harry into the shower the first time I felt it.
He hadn't even taken his clothes off, because he was so excited, sinking
down onto his knees. He was so in awe, eyes prickling with tears, kissing
all over me. The way he made love to me that night, praising me in ways he
never had... I still felt it.
I still felt that raw emotion, love bleeding from us. Skins glowing and
eyes beaming. I never wanted to forget that moment.
"Feel that?" He asks, a good hard kick making me wince, "That's a
football star in the making."
I laugh, "Oh, yeah?"
"Yep, they're is going to the olympics. I can feel it." He says confidently.
I'm about to respond when I lurch forward, a shooting pain in my lower
abdomen. It's like a period cramp on steroids. I wince, holding my stomach
with both hands.
"Emma, what's wrong?" Harry asks worriedly, his hands resting over
mine.
I shake my head, the pain disappearing quickly, "Just some Braxton-
Hicks contractions, I think. Talked to Dr. Mortrin about these. Totally
normal."
"Are you sure?" He asks me.
I nod, "Yeah, yeah, I'm good."
"Jesus," he says, "they're really going at it in there."
He wasn't lying. The babies have been much more active today, both of
us able to feel them moving and kicking. I breathe out a laugh, "Yeah, it's
because they know Daddy's here. They've missed you these past few
hours."
Immediately, Harry's face lights up, a mischievous look in his eyes. I
stare down at him with furrowed brows, not sure what's got him suddenly
all excited. He stands up slowly, his infamous smirk plastered on his perfect
face.
"What's that look for?" I ask him, as he cages me in, hands flat against
the bathroom sink counter on either side of me.
"You just called me Daddy."
 My jaw drops, a loud laugh and giant smile following closely behind. "I
didn't mean it like that you naughty boy."
He groans, laying his forehead on my shoulder, "Do you know how badly
I want you right now?"
I couldn't lie and say I didn't want him, my sex drive amplifying with my
hormones all over the place. We hadn't been able to get it on in a while,
though, to both of our frustrations. There was only one good position for us
- me lying on my back, him standing at the edge of the bed - that worked,
and we really couldn't be doing that right now.
"I'm sorry, baby, but you know we can't." I say softly, my fingers playing
with his hair.
"Tonight." He replies, moving to kiss my neck, "Please, angel, please."
I nod, "Mhm, tonight..."
That didn't stop his lips and tongue from slowly making there way up my
neck and across my jaw. When he reached my lips, he wasted no time in
opening me up to caress his tongue against mine. He was showing me just
how badly he wanted me, no matter how pregnant I was, I was still the
sexiest thing in the world to him. Also, he was obsessed with my boobs
now. They were huge, though, and extra sensitive these days, so I really
couldn't blame him.
A knock at the door separated us, pitiful groans leaving both of our
swollen lips. Harry unwillingly backed away, finally, pulled my dress down
so I was covered, and unlocked the bathroom door to open it. Luanne was
standing on the other side, her own much smaller baby bump showing
through her shirt. She smirked at us, "Sorry, to interrupt, but mom sent me
to fetch you guys. She wanted to start opening the giant mound of presents
you guys got."
"Oh, good, the sooner we do that, the sooner you all leave." Harry
responds dryly.
Luanne mocks offense, "You hurt my feelings, dear brother. You know, I
could just go back and tell her you two were too busy getting it on in the
bathroom-"
"I was helping her pee."
"Mhm," she looks at us unbelievingly, "Honestly, I think mum just wants
to show off what she got you guys. She's been gushing about it since we
went shopping."
I laugh, "You mean the really nice double crib she got us?"
 "How did you guess?" Luanne asks through a laugh.
I shrugged, "Overheard her and my mum talking earlier today."
"That lady just can't keep a secret." Luanne said dryly, "Especially, when
she's had a few drinks. Thanks god dad is driving home. I think your mum
and my mum have drank almost the entire stash of champagne in this
house.
Harry laughs, "Like you're much better. Only reason you're not drinking
with them is because you're not allowed to."
"Don't remind me. Can't wait until this baby to come." She groans.
"Think you've still got about six months, babe." I tell her.
"You know, no one told me that being pregnant was this exhausting. They
always say how wonderful it is."
I laugh, "So wonderful. I love not being able to sleep, and not go to the
bathroom by myself."
Lu snorts, "C'mon, it's presents time. At least, you get that."

Hope you enjoyed! See you on Thursday for the second to last
chapter! Love, J
Chapter Sixty-Seven

EMMA
Thank god we started presents early, because it took us almost an hour
and a half to get through all of them. Harry's mom was right to be excited
about her gift, because it was truly beautiful. Harry's dad, Peter, offered to
put it together for us, so we didn't need to worry about it later. Our nursery
was full of new toys and necessities, the dresser filled with gender neutral
clothing.
Everyone was super annoyed that we refused to know the gender of the
babies, preferring to just find out when they come. It didn't matter to us if it
was two girls, two boys, or a mix, or anything in-between. We would love
them any way. We did have the names covered, having four names in total
chosen.
Finally, everyone had left except Millie and little Emma, who was
staying over for the weekend in one of our guest rooms, so she didn't have
to drive all the way back. Harry had tasked him and the kid to clean up the
living room, while Millie and I worked on the kitchen.
"So how was that incredibly awkward conversation with my brother?" I
asked her, fighting through the uncomfortable pain of another Braxton-
Hicks contraction.
She groans, "I swear, I didn't know he was your brother."
"I told you his name was Joe and that he would be at the wedding."
"I forgot! And I had a little to drink. I just figured he was one of Harry's
millions of cousins." Millie says back.
I laugh, "Well?"
A deep sigh leaves her, "Well, I don't know. There's no way it could work
out."
"How do you know?" I ask her.
She gives me a look, "Because I don't live here and I'm going to school,
and, oh yeah, I've got a three year old kid."
 "When he talked to me about you, though, he seemed like he really liked
you." I add nonchalantly, trying to suss out of she actually likes him.
"Really? What did he say?" She asks me quickly, eyes looking hopeful.
"Well, that was easy." I mutter, then say to her, "Just that you guys really
connected that night."
She groans loudly, head rolling back to stare at the ceiling, "We did. It
was such a good night. But I didn't think I would ever see him again."
"But now you have..." I add, wincing as I feel another severe cramp.
"Are you okay?" Millie asks.
I nod, "Braxton-Hicks."
Her face lights up in understanding, "Those are a bitch."
"So?"
"So, now I have seen him, and he gave me his number and wants to take
me on a date."
"What did you say?"
She grimaces, "I said no."
"Why?"
"Because I have a kid, Emma." She tells me, "Why would Joe want to
deal with that. He's still young and starting his career, and I don't want to
force him to settle down too soon. I'm sure when he got the first taste of
what my life is actually like - not just spend some time with Emma while
she's being all cute and good - he would run like crazy."
"You don't know that." I say back, "What if he doesn't run away. You
can't just keep shying away from dating, Millie. You're young, too, and
starting your career, and you're fucking gorgeous. Why should you have to
be alone the rest of your life?"
"I don't- Emma!"
The next contraction was a doozy, one hand finding my stomach, the
other gripping the counter to keep me up. It hurt like a bitch, and lasted
longer than the last few. I tried to breathe out, but it hurt so much.
"Harry!" I hear her call out.
A few seconds later I hear footsteps and then I feel his hands on me,
relief flooding through my body, as the pain starts to subside. I look up,
wide-eyed and panting. His hands moved to my face, cupping my cheeks
softly, and saying, "Emma, are you okay?"
"Just, uh, Braxt-"
 "No, Em, I don't think so." Millie interrupts, pulling her daughter behind
her, so she doesn't get in the way. "Have you been having these all day?"
I nod reluctantly, "They've still got more than a month to go, though.
They shouldn't be coming so soon."
"How about we just head to the hospital in case, angel?" Harry suggests
softly, but I can hear that familiar edge of anxiety in it. "We'll call Dr.
Mortrin on the way to meet us-"
"Ah!" I double over again, my lower abdomen searing in pain, and I feel
an odd popping sensation, a rush of water flowing down my legs.
"Oh, fuck..." Harry says with his eyes wide, "Millie, can you get the baby
bag? It's up in the nursery behind the door." Millie nods quickly, rushing
away. "Emma, darling, your water just broke-"
"No shit." I grit out, my contraction still growing in intensity.
"I'm gonna get you to the hospital, okay?" He continues softly, ignoring
my comment. He leads me carefully out of the kitchen when my pain starts
to ween away.
I can't believe how horrible this feels. I've had plenty of bad periods in
my day, but this was on a whole other level. I felt as if my vagina was
tearing itself apart.
"Here you go, Harry. I'll stay here with Emma and the dogs, clean up the
rest of the house. Do you want me to call anyone?" Millie asks, handing
over the baby bag we've had prepared for this exact moment.
Harry slings it over his shoulder, "Yeah, I saw Emma's phone in the
kitchen. Can you call our mums? My dad's driving them back home, so just
keep calling all three numbers on repeat until someone answers. Her
passcode's ten thirty-one." He rushes out, me already half out the door.
He lets it shut behind him without locking, pulling his keys out, and
walks me carefully to my car. I'm glad he didn't choose to drive his SUV,
because I really didn't think I could climb into it. He held my hand, dipping
low to secure me in place and buckle me in. His soothing voice was
praising me, but I couldn't focus. I was freaking out. I wasn't mentally
prepared for this. I thought I still had over another month to get ready for
them.
I didn't even realize we were driving, Harry careful on the road, but still
urgent in his speed. He kept looking over at me, trying to get me to say
something back. Another contraction hit hard, and I couldn't hold back my
scream any longer. It came out strangled and painful, and I didn't know how
Harry was even able to drive with me dying in the passenger's seat.
"Emma, angel, we're almost there, okay? You're doing so good, darling."
His voice came out rushed and panicked, but it still felt good to my ears.
"It hurts." I whimpered pathetically, holding my stomach. I was near
tears, and I honestly think the only reason I wasn't crying was because I was
too focused on trying not to give birth in my car.
"I'm sorry, Em, I wish I could help-"
"You are, you are." I rush out, the contraction slipping away, "Just keep
talking, please?"
His eyes softened, as he stopped at a red light and looked at me. His legs
were shaking, antsy to get to the hospital where they could help me, take
some of my pain away. I wasn't going to be delusional enough to have a
natural birth. I wanted drugs. This shit it painful.
I kept my eyes on him, the car jerking forward as the light turns green. I
had no clue how close we were, my mind too consumed by the feeling of
my babies wanting out. I felt hot and a little lightheaded, but tense and
shaky too.
Vaguely, I felt the car jerk to a stop, the sound of a door slamming shut,
and the cool breeze to my left. I looked up to see Harry leaning down to
unbuckle me, moving my legs to the ground, and basically lifting me up by
himself. He already had the baby bag slung over his shoulder, and started to
walk me towards the doors of the emergency room. I looked around, seeing
how he parked illegally, but didn't care that much about if my car was going
to be towed.
It was hard to walk up the curb, wondering why it was so big in the first
place. Surely, it was a death trap waiting to happen at this hospital. I still
felt miles away from the doors when I heard Harry mutter, "Fuck it," and
pick me up bridal style.
He had done this a million times since I've known him, but never while I
was this pregnant. I knew I was heavy, but somehow he made me feel light.
He rushed us through the automatic sliding doors, and walked us up to the
nurses station.
Immediately, people were all around us, and I was placed in a wheelchair.
I felt Harry brushing back my hair and begin to say something, but once
again my contractions tore through my body. I tense up, closing my eyes,
hand groping the air until I felt Harry's hand in mine. It's strong, keeping me
grounded and sane. I bring it to my mouth, pressing it to my lips. I'm not
kissing it, but it does feel like it gives me the strength to hold in my scream
this time.
"I'm right here, Emma, I'm not leaving your side. I love you. I love you
so goddamn much." He whispers in my ear, kissing my temple.
"How far apart are her contractions?" I hear a voice ask.
"Uh... I don't know exactly. I wasn't timing in the car, but maybe ten
minutes right now?" Harry answers.
I force open my eyes, the contraction still coursing through me. I blink up
to see Harry talking to Carla, his ex. I've only met her that once, years ago
when Millie was going into labor. I remember Harry telling me she was an
ER nurse.
She notices I'm looking, and squats down so she's closer to my eye-level
in the chair. "Hi, Emma, how are you doing?" She asks softly.
"I'm in fucking pain." I answer dryly, but let out a sigh of relief as the
contraction stops.
She winces, "I know, and I'm sorry. We're going to get you up to a room,
and your OBGYN is on her way right now, okay?"
I nod, looking at Harry who's staring at me with a mixture of fright and
love. It's the weirdest look I've ever seen on him, and I can't help but let out
a small laugh. He furrows his brows, "What's so funny?"
We're in the elevator now, two nurses flanking us, Carla being one of
them. I smile weakly at him, "We're having a baby."
Although his anxiety looks like it's peaking, he chuckles, "We're having
two babies."
My eyes widened, "Holy shit, I almost forgot."
I hear the nurses laugh, the distinct ding of the elevator opening up to the
maternity ward. Nurses in pink scrubs take over, Carla squeezing my hand
and wishing me luck. They wheel me to a room, Harry beside me holding
my hand the entire time. He helps me stand up, my legs wobbly and feeble.
Somehow, I'm able to sit in the hospital bed, stirrups at the end already
setup.
"Mrs. Styles," a young looking doctor walks in, "it's nice to meet you. I'm
Dr. Mabry, but you can call me Maria, okay?" I nod and sniffle, Harry
squeezing my hand. "I'm a resident here at Manchester Royal, and I'm just
going to check how much your cervix has dilated."
"Okay." I answer back.
 "Let's get your feet up..."
Harry takes my shoes off, tossing them in the corner, and they both help
me get situated. I stare up at the ceiling as she takes my underwear off,
handing them over to Harry. Another nurse gives him a small bag for
personal items, so he stuffs them in there. My maxi dress is lifted, and
normally I would feel odd being this exposed, but I felt so weak that I
couldn't muster up the insecurity.
My head lolls to the side to look at my husband who was watching the
doctor carefully. He must've felt my eyes on him, because he turned to look
at me and smiled. He brushes back my hair once more, leaning down to kiss
my forehead.
"I love you." I tell him softly.
He's quiet for a second, looking down at me with adoration in his eyes.
Finally, he whispers, "I am so in love with you. You're absolutely
incredible, angel."
I swallow back my emotions, and admit, "I'm scared."
"I know you are, but everything's going to be okay. We've planned for
this, practiced your breathing exercises, had extensive talks with Dr.
Mortrin about this." He reminds me, "We're ready, and you're so strong,
Emma. You're bringing our babies into the world, and I love you so much
for that."
"Okay, looks like we've still got a little ways to go. You told your doctor
you wanted an epidural, correct?"
"Oh god, yes, please." I answer immediately.
She laughs, "I'm going to wait until your contractions are timed out at
around seven to eight minutes apart, and then we'll administer it. We don't
want to give it to you too early, because that can increase chances of a
cesarean section."
I take a deep breath in, "Okay, I can wait. What do we do now?"
"Well, labor can last a long time. We'll keep timing your contractions,
and checking your cervix until it's dilated enough. Right now, it's really just
a waiting game."
†††
HARRY
She was the most incredible person I've ever seen. The way Emma
handled herself in the twelve hours she was in labor at the hospital was so
incredibly impressive, and I think I fell more in love with her. She was
sweaty and pale, hair sticking to her face as she was forced to push over and
over. Silent tears streamed down her round cheeks, and I tried to kiss them
away in-between babies.
It was also one of the hardest things I had to sit through, watching her in
so much pain, unable to help her. She kept looking up at me, blue eyes
watering and searing into my soul, silently asking me when this would be
over.
She cursed and screamed, sometimes directly at me. I could tell her head
felt heavy every time she flopped it back on to the pillow, chest heaving as
she caught her breath. Her mum was on her other side, holding her hand,
and talking her through it.
And when I heard the first cry, my heart stopped.
One of our babies was here. In the world. Living and breathing, and I
wanted it so desperately, but they cut the cord and carted her off too fast.
Dr. Mortrin explained that they needed to do a few tests just to make sure
they were healthy. This was common in twins births, more than two-thirds
ending up in a c-section, and most being premies.
It was a good sign that Emma was able to have a vaginal birth. It meant
that they were positioned correctly, but I did catch a glimpse at our first
born and saw just how small it was. Emma had no chance to complain, our
second child coming out fast.
As she gave her last push, our other baby taken away, she collapsed on
the bed. She started crying immediately, my heart shattering into pieces. I
sat myself on the bed, leaning down to whisper into her ear and kiss her
head. Both her hands were on me, gripping me tightly. I took the slight
pain, knowing it was nothing to what she had just endured.
I had finally gotten her to calm down, her breathing somewhat normal,
hands now running up and down my arms instead of cutting off my
circulation. I praised her body, every word coming out of me one hundred
percent true.
She was incredible.
Strong.
Fearless.
Beautiful.
She was the love of my life.
And I felt so lucky that she was the mother of my children.
 Finally, the door opened, both our attentions snapping to the doctors and
nurses entering. Emma tried to sit up quickly, but she wasn't strong enough.
More tears started to flow, now out of my eyes too, as we saw them.
Two little bundles.
Heading straight for their mother. I watched in awe as one nurse opened
up the top of Emma's garment we changed her into in hour one. Another
nurse put down our baby boy on her naked chest, both of us hearing an
explanation of how newborns needed to bond with their mother through
skin on skin contact.
I briefly moved to the side to allow a different nurse to start to unwrap
our baby girl, setting her delicately on the other half of Emma's chest. I sat
back down on the edge of the bed, my hands reaching for them, as well.
The feeling of their soft skin felt electric to mine. Like a shot of lightning
struck me.
Immediate, love poured out of me, and I started to hopelessly weep. My
hands shook as I took in the sight of the three loves of my life, Emma
looking so exhausted, but happy as she finally got to hold our babies.
They were so beautiful, small and fragile, but I could already tell they
were going to be so strong. Emma looks up at me briefly, as if to ask if this
was real, making me chuckle through my tears. I leaned down as close as
possible, looking at our babies, one of them, our daughter, wrapping her
little fist around my finger.
I broke down a second time, Emma breathing out a laugh, "Harry, baby,
it's okay."
I shake my head, sniffling, "Thank you so much, Emma. God, thank you.
They're so perfect. I love them, and I love you so fucking much."
"Children are in the room, Harry. No cussing." She teases, a thick laugh
escaping my groggy throat. "I love you, baby, and thank you. You were part
of this. Couldn't have had them without your sperm donation."
I laugh again, "You're ruining the moment."
She shakes her head at me, smile beaming, love in her eyes, "Never. This
moment can never be ruined."
My free hand combed back her hair again, "No, it can't."
Our doctor gives us another ten minutes to ourselves, Emma's mum
coming over to take a look at her grandbabies. Dr. Mortrin does return,
clipboard in hand, and starts talking with us about them, "Emma and Harry,
you two have a very healthy set of fraternal twins. The boy born at twelve-
fifteen in the morning, followed closely by his sister at twelve-eighteen.
Both weighing in at five and a half pounds. Now, do you have names
picked out?" She asks us.
Emma and I look at each other, simultaneously turning our attention to
the babies. Emma answers first, "For the boy, Greyson. We'll call him
Grey."
"And our baby girl," I start, grinning widely as the little one blinks open
her eyes at me, "her name is Violet."
"Greyson and Violet?" Kate, Emma's mom, asks, wiping the tears from
her face. "That's perfect."
Our doctor talks to us a bit more about everything, talking us through
what's going to happen. Emma's going to try breastfeeding in about an hour,
but in-between was our time to bond. She left us with a nod and smile, Kate
saying, "Harry, I'm going to get your parents. They've been waiting a long
time. Honey," she turns to her daughter, "do you need anything?"
Emma thinks for a second, answering, "Can you ask one of the nurses to
get me a giant thing of water. I'm so thirsty."
She nods, "Of course, love you."
Neither of us look up as she heads out, our attention on the babies.
Emma's the first to break the trance, "Do you want to hold one?"
I look at her, the obvious answer clear on my face. She breathes out a
laugh, shifting a bit, so I can pick up the closest one, Violet, and get her
situated in my arms. I'm suddenly grateful that I had so much practice with
all my nieces and nephews, knowing instantly how to properly hold my
daughter. She looked up at me, eyes green like mine, and reached out her
little hands. I lean down so she can touch my chin.
I feel my body buzz, a high I've never experienced before as I look down
at my child, feeling her touch me. I can't believe this is real, that this is
finally happening. I've always wanted kids, but for so much of my adult life
it wasn't possible. No human connections could permeate my cold heart.
Not until Emma.
She had given me everything. And I was so incredibly grateful for her.
We were silent as we gave each baby attention, five minutes later looking
up, and asking, "Switch?"
Her smile was heart stopping, and she replies, "Switch."
I lean down, setting Violet back down on her mother's chest and picking
up Greyson. I stand up, my baby boy moving a lot more than Violet was.
His hands pawing at my shirt, blue eyes searing into my heart just like his
mothers. I could already spot the minute differenced between the two, his
nose wider than Violet's, wispy curls on his head that reminded me of mine.
They were opposites in a way: Grey with his icy blue eyes and my curly
hair, while Vi had my eyes and looked to have darker hair like her mother
on her head, as little as she had.
Our trances were broken when my mum burst into the room, already
crying. She came right to us, not knowing which baby to look at first.
Emma laughs, "Amy, come look at your granddaughter, Violet."
"Dad, this is baby Greyson." I show off my son, both my dad and
Emma's mum crowding around me.
Since I was standing, it was a little easier for them to gather around me.
Grey blinked up at them, head swiveling back and forth with big eyes. I
chuckled down at him, loving being able to watch him discover new things
like his family.
I heard Emma call out, "Switch."
I grin, bringing Grey back over to the bed, and doing the same handoff as
before. Violet settled right back into me, nuzzling her face in my chest. I
whisper, "This is Violet."
"Violet..." My dad whispered to himself, petting her stomach with one of
his fingers. Surprisingly, her hand comes up to grip his finger, feet starting
to kick. I thought she was going to fall asleep, but now my little girl was
blinking open her eyes and looking at her granddad. My dad melts on the
spot, and I notice just how much she was kicking, her heel coming down
with surprising force on my arm.
"Angel, I think we found our football star." I joke, looking over at Emma,
my mum now crying over her grandson.
Emma turns her head lazily to watch Violet kick her little feet, her smile
widening, "Oh, yeah, she was definitely the one being a pain in my belly."
Our parents were kicked out soon after, visiting hours over hours ago, but
were allowed in due to the late birth. I watched and held Violet as the nurse
showed Emma how to breast-feed, allowing for one baby at a time. It was
mesmerizing to watch, and when I handed over Violet, another nurse placed
a towel over my shoulder and taught me how to burp him properly.
We watched closely as they taught us little things, like how to swaddle
the babies, but they could tell Emma was about ready to pass out in
exhaustion. Her adrenaline was running low, and I knew she wanted more
time with the babies, but they also needed to sleep. They were healthy
enough to where they could sleep in the hospital room with us overnight, so
two small rolling cribs were brought in, along with a new bed for Emma.
They allowed me to clean her up, and help move her to the clean bed,
slightly bigger than the one she gave birth on. I noticed it would be big
enough for me to squeeze in, which I felt entirely grateful for. I needed to
be next to Emma tonight, to feel her warm body against mine, wake up with
her freezing cold toes on my feet.
I waited patiently for the nurses to leave, making sure we had everything
for the night. We would probably only get maybe three hours of sleep since
it was already past three in the morning, but that was okay.
Both Greyson and Violet were peacefully sleeping next to us, so I slipped
into her bed, facing her on my side. Emma's head lolled to the side to look
at me, a sleepy smile melting my heart, as she says, "We did it."
I chuckle, "You did it, my angel."
Shaking her head, she responds, "No, we did it."
My eyes soften, hand coming up to cup her cheek, "That was incredible.
I'm so fucking proud of you, Emma."
"I was so scared."
"I know you were, but you still did it." I say quietly, "I fell even more in
love with you today."
She hums, "You're making my heart melt, Styles."
"Good, that is my job, Styles." I tease back.
"As much as that was the most pain I've ever been in, I still want more
kids." She admits.
I chuckle, "Already?"
"Well, not this second. My vagina needs to heal." She shoots back. "I'm
pretty sure it's broken. Might need to ask the doctor to fix it.
I snort, and take a moment to say, "You just tell me when you're ready. I'll
wait for you."
"I love you." She whispers, eyes closing as she starts to drift off.
"I love you."

I had the biggest smile EVER on my face while writing this chapter. I
think it took me a total of four hours to write, which is incredibly fast
for me. Emma and Harry meeting Violet and Greyson for the first time
was such a joy, and one day I hope I can find that type of love lol.
I was thinking about writing a short about Joe and Millie and their
love story. I would put that in my soon the be One-Shots and Shorts
book I'll be uploading, so make sure you're following me either here or
on twitter to know when that's dropping!
I'll see you all tomorrow for the final chapter!
Love, J
Chapter Sixty-Eight

EMMA
Two Years Later
"Okay, I've put up all the emergency numbers on the fridge-"
"Emma, you've told us already." My mum says, scratching Daisies ear as
she squats down to the dogs level.
Amy chuckles, "We'll be fine here. Don't forget we raised a few kids
ourselves."
This was the first time since the twins were born that we would be gone
for more than a few hours. Occasionally, we would have someone watch
them while went out to dinner or the movies, but we were taking the whole
weekend off. Both Harry and I had almost cancelled several times, not
wanting to be away from the kids, but we really needed this. We needed
some alone time to just be ourselves.
Violet was clinging to Harry as he tried to say goodbye, Grey handling
this a lot better than his sister. He was sitting on the floor next to Toby, our
oldest dog looking up at me like I was betraying him. I squat down, petting
him, and then turn my attention to my son.
"Grey, you know we'll back, right?" I ask him softly.
He nods, standing up and walking over to hug me. My heart melts, and I
pick him up in our hug. "When back?" He asks in his broken sentences.
"Three days." I answer holding up three fingers for him.
"Free days." He repeats.
I laugh, "You're going to have to look after your sister, okay? And do
whatever your grandmas say. They're in charge."
He nods again, bringing his lips to my cheek. Greyson was one of the
most affectionate kids I had ever met. He said "I love you" a billion times a
day, loved to cuddle with us on the couch, and adored meeting new people.
He was sometimes a little too friendly with strangers, so we were teaching
him stranger danger as much as possible.
I returned his kiss on the cheek, blowing a raspberry onto his soft chubby
cheek. He giggles and squirms away, and I hear Harry call, "Switch," over
Violet's cries. I walk over to them, Grey already reaching for his dad, while
I try and peel Violet away.
She was the definition of a daddy's girl, but she listened to me more -
probably because Harry literally couldn't say no to her and her big green
eyes. She was much shyer than her brother, taking time to warm up to
people. But she was a big talker when she did feel comfortable with you.
The conversations her and Lydia, Lu and Oliver's kid, have were quite
entertaining.
When she looks at me, face red from crying, she immediately jumps into
my arms. Her hug is surprisingly tight for such a little girl, and she
continues to cry into my shoulder. I walk away into the living room, Toby
following in my steps, and sit on the couch. He hops up, resting his head on
my thigh, while I maneuver Violet onto the arm of the couch, facing me, my
hand wide against her back to keep her from falling.
"Vi, what's going on? Why are you so sad?" I ask her, taking a tissue and
holding it up to her nose so she can blow.
She hiccups once, and says, "Want you to stay."
"Oh, honey, I know, but we're just going away for a few days, and then
we're coming back."
"But what if you don't come back?" She asks, eyes wide and watery.
My heart breaks under her stare, so I say softly, "Why wouldn't we come
back? We love you guys way too much to leave forever."
"Anna and Elsa's mummy and daddy didn't come back."
Understanding crosses my face. Those damn Disney movies where the
parents always die. We really need to start branching them out to new
movies. There was a surge of pride that rushed through me, though, Violet
able to understand and form bigger sentences like that at so young. She was
a smart kid, and her doctor said that she was in the top percentile when it
came to speech.
"That was just a movie, sweetie. We're going to come back." I tell her.
"Pinky Pwomise?" Her bottom lip pouts and shakes.
I breathe out a small laugh, "Pinky Promise." I hold out my pinky for her,
her tiny one wrapping around it. I kiss my thumb and watch as she copies
me, and we bring them together. I take another tissue and start wiping up
her face. "Let's get you cleaned up, Vi. No more crying this weekend, yeah?
I'm going to need you to look after your brother. You know how much of a
mess he is." She nods dutifully, and I add, "And who's going to walk Toby
if you're sad the whole time?"
She was always on Toby duty during walks, the old dog walking dutifully
beside her. He was very protectively over the kids, whereas Daisy was more
interested in meeting other dogs and sniffing random trees. There were
pictures all around the house of Violet or Greyson cuddled up with Toby on
the couch next to us, and others where Daisy would literally just poke her
head into the shot, lick one of the kids faces, and bolt away.
"Me." She answers, climbing down to my lap and petting his head softly,
"I'll walk you, Tobes."
I smile at her, "Good girl. You're so brave, you know that?"
She bashfully smiles up at me, shaking her head, and lying down with her
butt in the air on my lap. I laugh and start tickling her, Toby moving away
from us, as Daisy trots in, followed by Harry and Greyson.
"Look who's all happy and giggling in here." Harry says, sitting down on
the coffee table in front of us, "Knew you just needed your mum."
Violet nods, sitting up against me while Greyson climbs onto my lap as
well. Harry smiles softly, his hand resting on my knee, as I say, "I know it's
a little scary that we're leaving, but just remember that no matter what we
will always return to you guys. We are too lost without our little
munchkins."
"And if you two get lonely tonight without us, I have it on good authority
that Grandma Styles will let you sleep in her bed." Harry adds, brushing
back Violets curly locks.
"Mhm, and just think of how many more sweets you two are gonna get!
Grandma Everly is a big ol' sap when it comes to the puppy dog eyes." I
say.
"Really?" Grey asks, looking up at me.
"Oh, yeah, I used to use that on her all the time growing up." I tell them
both.
Greyson immediately gets up and runs out into the hallways yelling,
"Gamma! Can I have cookie?"
I burst out laughing, Violet making her way off my lap to Harry's, kissing
his cheek, and then following after her brother. His grin is wide as he
watches after them, and I vaguely hear some noise from the kitchen,
knowing my mum already gave in.
"They're going to be sugar monsters while we're gone." Harry says,
taking my hand and helping me off the couch.
One of my arms flings around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He
smiles against my lips, pulling away a few seconds later to say, "Wait until
we get to the hotel, angel. Then I'll remind you of what my lips can do."
My hips squirm against him, and he smirks down at me, pressing his lips
to mine in a quick peck. We still find time for sex, but it's much harder now.
Obviously, when they're at their grandparents or having playmates with
their cousins we go full out, bringing our box of toys out of the closet. But
most times it's just a quick, passionate fuck, or us waking up in the middle
of the night to make love randomly.
Still to this day, he never failed to worship my body or make me cum. In
fact, I felt like he was even more attentive now since we didn't have as
much time to ourselves. I was off birth control again, both of us deciding
that we are ready for another one. We wanted a big family and we were
going to get it.
Finally, we were able to get out of the house, our twins munching on
cookies and our dogs following us to the door. Harry was beaming, clearly
ecstatic that we would get to be alone for the weekend. We weren't even
going far, just a city over. There was no need to go somewhere extravagant
since we probably would only be leaving the hotel room to eat.
I look over at him, my head resting lazily on the headrest. His hand was
on my thigh as he drove, tattooed arm on display. I traced over the tattoo he
got for me years ago, the same inscription on the back of his watch he was
wearing.
"Can we stop off at the store before we head out of town?" I ask, holding
back my smile that was threatening to escape.
He glanced over at me, "Yeah, did you forget something?"
"No." I answer coyly.
"Did you want to pick up some whipped cream and chocolate syrup?" He
teases, "Remember, we don't need to worry about not making a mess like
last time."
"I mean... yeah, let's do that, but also wanted to pick up a pregnancy
test."
 We both let my statement ring in the air, and then suddenly Harry was
pulling over into a parking lot, and stopping the car. He turns to me, eyes
serious, and asks, "I'm sorry, what?"
The corners of my lips upturn, a smile gracing my face, as I lift my hands
up to cup his. He waits patiently for me to answer, eyes searching mine.
With my thumbs grazing his cheeks, I say, "Baby, I'm two weeks late."
"Really?" He asks, voice cracking.
"Don't start crying yet," I tease, "We need a test first."
He blinks away his tears, nodding, and quickly turning the car on, "Right,
let's go."
I laugh as he nearly peels out of the parking lot, merging into traffic, and
eventually finds us a store. He takes my hand as we walk through the
automatic doors, immediately stopping a worker to ask what aisle the tests
were in. I rolled my eyes and pulled him away to the correct aisle without
waiting or an answer. I picked out the same ones I used last time, trusting
them, and walked us to the checkout. His arms were around me, chin
resting on my shoulder as I pulled out some cash to pay.
"Wait, where are you going?" Harry asks when I go to lead him back to
the car.
I raise an eyebrows, "I hope you know I was not planning on peeing on a
stick in a Tesco bathroom."
He groans, "You're going to make me wait another hour before we even
get to our hotel?"
I chuckle, coming up to him and lifting up onto my tiptoes, "If you're
patient then I've got a nice surprise for you afterwards." I whisper into his
ear.
"And what's that?" He asks lowly.
I cock my head, "Our favorite toy."
His eyes darken immediately, smiled dropping as he realizes what I'm
talking about. He curses under his breath, and pulls me out of the store. The
rest of the drive was filled with dirty comments, attempts at touching, and
quick kisses. I'm surprised he didn't just pull over and drag me into the back
to fuck me.
We checked in to our room fairly quickly, taking the elevator up to our
seventh floor room. It was a nice hotel, nothing too crazy, but perfect for
what we were planning on doing. The moment we got in, he fished out the
tests and led me to the bathroom. I convinced him to wait outside while I
peed.
I set my timer on my phone, and walked out to see Harry sitting on the
edge of the bed, leg bouncing like crazy. I walk right to him, lifting myself
on the bed to straddle him. With years of practice, his hands rested on my
bum, while mine rubbed up and down his chest.
He breathed out a deep breath, and pulled me in close to hug me,
murmuring in my ear, "I can't wait to see you pregnant again."
I smile to myself, and tell him, "I'm so in love with you."
He lifts his head away to look at me, "Emma, I know I tell you this all the
time, but you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
"Oh, baby, I know." I say softly, "You're the best thing to happen to me
too." I close the gap between us, and take his bottom lip in-between mine.
He groans against my mouth, deepening the kiss. It hasn't been that long
since we've been intimate, but I can feel that desperate, carnal need between
us. I pull away, biting his lip, "Can't wait to show you how much I
appreciate you."
"Yeah?" He mumbles, trying to capture my lips again, but I pull back
with a sly smile. "You gonna fuck me real good?"
I grip his hair and tug on it to expose his neck. My lips immediately find
his spot, nipping at it and sucking a deep purple love bite into his skin. I
drag my tongue up to his ear, faintly hearing the quick intake of air from
him, and whispers, "You have no idea how good I'm gonna fuck you
tonight."
The timer on my phone goes off, breaking our heated moment.
Excitement fills his eyes, and he secures his arms around me, picking me up
easily, my legs wrapping around his waist. Walking me straight into the
bathroom, setting me gently on the counter, he pecks my lips before turning
off the sound on my phone. He takes in a deep breath, looking down at the
tissue covered stick on the counter.
I turn his face back to mine, studying the excited nerves, and graze my
thumb over his bottom lip. "Ready?" I ask.
"With you? Always."
He reaches over to pluck the tissue off, revealing a white stick. Our eyes
both shoot down to the little pink plus sign, silence filling the bathroom.
Slowly, a smile makes its way onto my face, and I turn to look at Harry.
He's still looking at the stick, but finally brings his eyes back to mine.
 My heart clenches when I see tears glistening in his eyes, magnifying the
beauty of them. I've only seen this look once, and just like last time it
brought tears to my own eyes. Our hands moved in sync, grasping for one
another like there was no tomorrow.
My shirt was lifted over my head, tossed to the ground, revealing my new
lingerie. It was a peach lace set, see-through, and I could tell immediately
how much Harry loved it. He groans painfully, burying his face in my neck,
as his hands cup my covered breasts.
"You're so perfect." He says to himself, "How did I get so lucky?"
I smile, knowing just how much he's going to be saying that to himself
tonight. I push him off with force, hopping down off the counter, and
pushing my yoga pants down. I slip out of them, adorned only in my
matching peach lace lingerie set. He's staring at me with hungry eyes, them
gliding down my chest and stomach to my shapely hips and thighs.
I walk past him, back into the main room. I open up my duffel bag laying
on the bed, and dig through the contents to pull out the anal lube and strap-
on. I toss our bags on the ground, and turn around to see him leaning lazily
against the dresser holding up the TV. His bulge was already present in his
trousers, the outline making my mouth water.
I smirk at him, my finger moving in a "come hither" motion. He follows
my orders easily, waiting for more commands. I debate telling him to strip
for me, but decide I want to be the one to take off his clothes.
Stepping forward, I unbuckle his belt, our eyes glued to each other.
Slowly, I start to undress him, my fingers gliding down his chest when his
shirt is open. His hands stay to his sides, chest moving up and down in a
mesmerizing rhythm. When his shirt hits the floor, his pants follow soon
after, leaving him in just his white boxer-briefs. His erection strains against
the fabric, and before I know it have sank to my knees, licking him through
his underwear.
Right where his head lay, near the band, the outline curved and long, I
close my lips around him, sucking and tonguing. I feel his hands gather my
hair up in a makeshift ponytail while mine start to pull down his underwear.
My tongue plays with his base, dragging up the vein until my lips wrap
around his crown. I hear a relieved groan from above him, sucking harshly
and pulling off to make his cock bob.
I look up to see him staring at me dreamily, and smirk, saying, "Get on
the bed. Hands and knees."
 "Fuck..." He breathes out, shuffling over while I pick up the strap on.
I buckled myself in, always taking a second to get used to it, and start
slathering it with lube. Harry's watching me closely, eyes dark, and he's
already panting. I decide to give him a little bit of relief, "You can touch
yourself, Harry."
Immediately, he fists his cock, lazily pumping it as I finish lubing up. I
smirk, walking back behind him, ass up and ready for me. I glide my
pointer finger through his cheeks, circling his hole before slowly pushing
in. He drops his head to his forearm, breathing out while I begin to gently
rock my finger in and out to loosen him up.
He's clenching around me tightly, having not been touched here for a few
months. It's been a while since we've gotten spicy in bed, lately preferring
to making love. I knew during this trip that we would rediscover ourselves
sexually, seeing Harry pack some of his favorite toys as well, and I also
desperately wanted to fuck him. I enjoyed this almost as much as he did,
seeing him melt beneath me, lose his mind into his subspace due to what I
was doing to him.
A second finger joined, circling around inside him, a strangled moan
escaping him, and a minute later when I add a third finger, knowing I
needed to get him nice and open for the size that we use on him.
"Oh god! Ye- Ah!" He cries out when I finally tilt my fingers downward
to massage his prostate.
I can tell he's fisting his cock tighter, speeding up his strokes gradually.
I'm getting antsy as well, and when I feel him relaxed enough I pull out -
much to his dismay - but almost immediately I have the tip of the dildo
strapped into the belt around my hips and groin pushing in.
Just as it takes me a second to get used to the weight of the strap-on once
I put it on, it also takes me a second to get used to moving like I need to.
Fucking as a woman is so different than fucking as a man. Instead of
swivels and sensual rolls, I need to angle and thrust properly. So I always
take my time.
He keens as I push in, watching our toy disappear in him, stretching him,
the lube gathering up around his entrance and shiny in the light. I bottom
out, feeling my hips against his ass. I wait a moment, letting him get used to
the size and then start to pull out. He whimpers at the feeling and I start to
gain a rhythm, rocking into him, my hips hitting his succulent ass over and
over again.
 I start to lose myself, not getting any physical pleasure, but the mental
pleasure I'm experiencing watching him come unglued before me enough to
get myself to the edge. I spread his cheeks with my hands, watching the act
of sliding in and out of him, my own arousal pooling in my new underwear.
"That's right..." I say breathlessly, speeding up my thrusts, "My baby
loves it when I fuck him, right?"
He's nodding, head turned to the side so I can see his eyes closed and
mouth wide open in ecstasy. "So good. Oh god, I love you."
"So sweet, aren't you? I'm the only one who can get you off like this,
huh? Practically begging for me to fuck you in the ass." I taunt, speeding up
and feeling a drop of sweat drip down my back.
"Yes, yes, yes, only you. Only you..." He breathes out, choking on air
when I spank one of his cheeks.
I've never spanked him before, for reasons I don't understand, because
he's immediately begging for more, pleading with me to spank him again,
"Please, keep- Ah! More, I need more."
I spank him again, not too hard, lighter than he would spank me, but it's
just enough for him. He arches his back, fist stroking his thick cock quickly
now. After a few more spanks, I angle my thrusts slightly downward so I
would hopefully be hitting his prostate over and over again.
I'm rewarded instantly by him calling out my name, collapsing onto his
stomach, hand slipping out from under him, both hands now clenching the
blanket beneath him. I climb onto the bed, knees near his hips as he ruts
against the mattress for friction. My hand flatten out on either side of his
upper chest, and I start to thrust down on him hard, angling just perfectly.
My legs and arms are burning, but he's in too much pleasure for me to
stop or slow down. The rhythm of his hips against the bed are slightly off
from my thrusts, making it sloppy but so fucking erotic. I don't think I've
ever fucked him this hard, and I can see before my very eyes him slipping
into his subspace.
He's moaning and squirming around, body tense, ass cheeks flexing
against my hips every time I bottom out. I know he won't be able to take it
much longer, seeing the familiar "oh" face starting to form on his face.
It's such a beautifully lewd image, one that I masturbate to when he's not
with me - which isn't too often. He gasps, back arching into the bed, hips
stuttering as he begins to orgasm, and he lets out a bawdy moan. I keep up
my thrusts, breathing heavily now, working him through it. I only stop
when he starts to inch away, the feeling too much for him, his cock
probably soft and sensitive, lying in his own pool of cum.
His back is heaving, trying to catch his breath. The toy is still in him
when I lay on top of him, kissing in-between his shoulder blades. He seems
to relax at my touch, my hands gliding up his arms until my fingers can
intertwine with his.
I continue to press soft kisses into his skin, relishing in his afterglow.
After a minute or so, I decide to pull out and clean him up. I go to the
bathroom to clean the toy and my hands, returning to the bed to see him in
the same position as before.
I smile to myself, the soft man I'm in love with starting to drift off to
sleep. Sliding back onto the bed, I maneuver us around so his head is
resting on my soft belly, his body in-between my legs. I let him fall asleep,
knowing I just fucked him almost too good.
My own eyes drift close, playing in the realm of half-sleep until I get
woken up to little kisses on my stomach. I blinked open my eyes to see
Harry's eyes staring back. Once he knew I was awake, he proceeded to slink
my panties down my legs and lick my folds, sucking on my clit, and
fingering me. It took him no time at all to send me over the edge, my hips
bucking uncontrollably and hands gripping his hair.
With three pecks to my now swollen clit - something I noticed he only
does after I play with his hole - he scoots back up to my stomach. With
glistening lips her kisses all over me sweetly, thumbs gliding over the
stretch marks from my pregnancy with the twins. I watched, completely in
love with this man who was clearly obsessed with my body.
"I love these." He say quietly, voice a little hoarse.
"Hm?"
"Your marks." He answers, staring at them, his cheek smushed up against
his fist holding up his head. "I love seeing you pregnant with our babies,
and these remind me just how strong and brave you were."
I grin, and say dreamily as I closing my eyes and lay back down, "We're
going to have another one."
I feel the bed shift, his warmth now encompassing one full side of me.
His hands find the front clasp of my bra and undoes it, slipping it off my
arms and under my back. My hands instinctively find his body, wrapping
around his neck, giving him a place to rest his head and playing with his
hair. His own hand caresses up and down my torso, grazing over my
collarbone, ghosting my nipples, and holding it on my belly. Directly where
the bottom of my bump will be.
"You really are an angel." He whispers, breath hitting my cheek.
I grin, opening my eyes to look at him. His green eyes, the ones I have
woken up to for the past several years now, were peering into my soul. I
could hear every unspoken word from him through them, see every emotion
he gifts me. There are no walls or cold demeanors that were there the first
few times we were together.
And I no longer held my insecurities and self-hatred. I knew what I
deserved thanks to this man sneaking past all my barriers and walls. I
deserved him, the perfect man. A man so willing to put himself in danger
for me at the drop of a hat. A man who champions me. A man who shows
his love for me so freely with the world. A man who cries in happiness
when he finds out I'm carrying his child.
Sometimes I think he's the angel, somehow finding me just when I
needed him. He's giving me everything, and I only hope I can give him
even half a what he gives me.
My Harry.
"You're my angel too." I whisper back.
His hand moves to my face, holding my jaw and petting my cheek with
his thumb. He's looking at me with such adoration and love that surely, if I
were standing, my knees would buckle. My heart beats loudly in my chest
and I feel myself fall in love even more.
Impossible, yet the only certainty for us.
We would constantly be falling more in love with each other, because
that's what soulmates do. They're drawn together by a force so powerful
only to be bound for life. Our love grows and branches out as we expand
our family. Mini-soulmates running around and clinging to us and crying
when we leave for a weekend.
Two angels destined for each other.
"I love you." His eyes search mine, suddenly needy to hear me say it
back.
I don't even hesitate, the words falling from my lips like second nature
now, "I love you."
And he leans forward to connect our lips.
Fin.
Other Books

If you like my writing, then please check out my other books below!
Love, J

ALL THIS TIME - New and Currently Updating!

The story of two kids on two very different paths. With years of history,
why is it just now that they seem to connect? Is it too late for them, or do
they just need more time?
Riley and Harry are two sides of the same coin. Destined, yes. But for
how long?

ISSUES - Ongoing and Almost Finished!

Harry's got trust and commitment issues, and Dani has... issues.
Two souls connect after years of just missing each other. Easy and soft is
what they become, but what happens when their pasts come back to haunt
them?

ALL I WANT - Completed!

Madison is the best at her job, and is next in line to run the family
business. Taking Harry under her wing to show him the ropes of the
investment industry seems like just another day at the office, but Harry
quickly turns into more than that.
An inexplicable connection between the two - shared traumas and
heartbreak - bring them ever closer together, yet somehow pull them apart.
When everything seems to work against them, will they overcome the odds
and give in to their growing feelings?
Thank You

Thank you all so much for reading Kiwi! That's absolutely insane that
I'm closing in on 800k words at the time of this book being finished. I
never thought I could have this type of success as someone who only
started really writing not even a year ago. Your support and feedback
and love have meant everything to me as I figure out my writing style
and what works for me and, of course, you, the audience.
If this is the only book you read of mine, I hope you take home the
message that you are worth unconditional love. I have seen so many of
you comment that your standards are too high because of the Harry I
wrote in Kiwi and my other books. The truth is you should have high
standards because YOU'RE WORTH IT. Don't ever settle for someone
who doesn't treat you right, and don't ever give your love to someone
who doesn't deserve it. Our hearts are delicate, but so willing to grow
and expand for the right people. Whether this is your love life, your
family, or your friends. It might seem like it's impossible or difficult to
find those people, but they are out there. Sometimes they come easy
and sometimes it's an adventure finding them.
Soulmates can be found in anyone - not just romantically. My best
friends are my soulmates. They've picked me up when I've been thrown
aside, and as scary as it was to be rejected or hurt or heartbroken, I
will never regret my decisions to trust people who have broken me.
Those experiences have made my love for my friends greater and
stronger.
Love is one of the most powerful things you can give someone. It can
heal a soul.
But don't be scared to take chances. We all get our heartbroken in
one way or another. In all honesty, my inability to put myself out there
these last few years of my life have left me heartbroken. Isn't that
funny? I've broken my own heart. Maybe I should take my own advice.
Love also stems from kindness. Romantic or platonic. We start
loving by being kind and caring. We all have it in us to be kind, so
please...
In the immortal words of one of our main characters...
Treat People With Kindness.
Love, J