30th NOVEMBER: conclusion, essay feedback, some exemplars.

What makes a good conclusion? (in a source essay)

 Opening sentence that addresses the essay question; can open with an
introduction/recap of your essay points.
o OR Opening sentence that has a brief generic point about the source
(demonstrated in example conclusion below).
 3-4 sentences summarising the source’s view/argument/content +
analysing/explaining your points made in the essay (3-4 thematic-style points).
 Only if appropriate (see the question + source type), mention any
strengths/limitations of the source + its provenance.

 If ‘to what extent’: explicitly state if you agree to a limited or great extent + why.
 If ‘what does this source/extract tell you about…’: more broad – more ways to
approach a conclusion. Opening sentence would be 1 broader sentence, next
sentences to then analyse + explain your specific points.
e.g. "What do these extracts tell us about Scottish working-class women’s lives in the
1960s and 1970s?"
The oral history extracts from Jean provides a valuable glimpse into the lives of
working-class women during a pivotal era. Although the source is limited in its
provenance as an oral history account, it still gives insight into the changing gender
roles, working-class women’s aspirations for personal fulfilment and how the wider
economic changes affected women’s lives. We learn and infer that gender roles,
though starting to shift, were still prevalent in Scottish society.

Essay feedback: Parental Rights in 19th-Century Britain

 Slight grammatical/sentence structure improvement needed in Introduction

o Change to “Where Extract 1 places importance on religious consideration on
a child’s upbringing with the Father’s chosen religion, Extract 2 focusses on
the broader issue of parental rights, emphasising the mother’s role”.
o Rest of Introduction is exemplary.
 Good conclusion – could discuss the different provenances again.

 Fantastic paragraph opening sentences – clear, explicit, nicely worded.

 Good comparative tone.
 Good point about Elizabeth focussing more on the struggle of the mother and unlike
Extract 1, not pushing for the superiority of 1 parent.