Trevor:

Luca-
I like how on your 1st page you take the time to go age by age throughout your literacy journey.
On page two I feel that you use Brandts quote very well because your coach as you mentioned
put forth his resource of time which many do not think of us a resource. I like how at the end of
page two to the start of page three you described a victory or a changing moment in your literacy
moment. I feel that at the end of your writing you are missing that point that really wraps up you
whole writing. I get that these things influenced you and you plan to learn more in the future;
however, I want to hear more description about the plans you currently do or do in the future. I
believe you choose the correct theme to go with because as I read the paper I can feel that you
are telling me these things about your life which I had no prior knowledge of but now I feel that I
know about these past experiences.

Austin
Review on Luca Andrade Pezzoli
In your first paragraph, your introduction comes off nice because it talks about your thought
process on your journey to the United States and what that entailed. It was really interesting
reading the part about how you started to learn English. Being able to watch movies with
subtitles in English in a foreign country is cool. Your story about how your soccer coach went
out of his way to help you out was encouraging. I liked how you mentioned that your team went
on to go undefeated because it added context to how it helped you. Without the help of your
coach who provided you with resources on how to communicate better with your teammates, you
guys might not have done as well. One of the grammatical errors I saw in the text a couple of
times was you forgot to put a comma before and when you were talking about multiple things.
For example, on page 3 you forgot to put a comma before and when you spoke about the three
languages you speak. There were also a couple of tenses that were used incorrectly but are easy
fixes. Overall your story was very encouraging. It answered the questions that were asked
extremely well and I enjoyed reading it. I think the use of Brandt also worked well with your
text. Good Job!