Abigail DiGregorio

ENGL 1001
Professor Ferrara
Justice Narrative Draft
10/03/2023

You Will Never Reach Your Goals

Shaking with anticipation I waited on the cold, hard bench on the pool deck to meet with

my new coach. My suit was digging into my shoulders, and I smelled of chlorine from being

fresh out of practice. I was so excited to go over my goals for my senior season and get a new

perspective on my career. I had no idea what was coming. My coach sat down with a sigh and

asked me what my goals for the season were. He made a sour face as I explained the times I

wanted to go, and it was the first time someone told me my goals were unachievable. He told me

I needed to be more like the boys on my team to accomplished what I wanted that season. He

told me I am not focused enough to get faster. I sat in silence as he explained everything that I

did wrong, I felt myself slowly shrinking. I felt worthless. That ten-minute conversation affected

my entire senior season and took away the little self-confidence I already had.

Being a female athlete, I had always heard about sexism and discrimination in sports, but

this was the first time that I was experiencing it first-hand. The way my coach raved about the

boys on the team and completely ignored the girls was a dynamic that greatly impacted not just

me, but many of my teammates. For decades, women have fought for a place in sports, though

immense progress has been made women still face adversity daily. People still believe that

women cannot compete at the same level as men. There is no denying our biological differences

however, women deserve to compete at a high level. Being told you’re not good enough because
of your gender is degrading and discourages the progress that has been made in the athletic

world.

I looked at the three white boards on the grey wall of the natatorium and evaluated each

set that my coach had written for us to choose. He had scribbled out the sets in red marker, each

one was challenging in its own way. One was an IM set, I am not an IM swimmer, I immediately

ruled it out. The next set was a middle-distance stroke set, something I would have considered,

but when I looked at the last board, I saw a challenge. A distance set with good pace which I

wanted to work on. I picked up my yellow water bottle full of propel and my soaking wet

equipment bag and started to walk over to lanes seven and eight where the distance group

practices. My coach made a funny face and slowly made his way towards me.

He had a condescending smirk on his face, and he asked me, “What are you doing here?”

I frowned, incredibly confused by his question, and he shook his head.

“This set is only for Zach and Owen; you can’t keep up with these times.”

My confusion turned into anger, but I was at a loss for words, and I just stood there. In

my ten years of swimming, I had never been told I wasn’t allowed to do a set. I wasn’t allowed

to challenge myself because my coach had no belief in me. Again, I was experiencing blatant

sexism, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I took his general distaste for women personally and

let it start affecting me in the pool. I gave minimal effort in the set that day, my head swirling

with negativity and anger. I stopped challenging myself in sets because he didn’t care, so I didn’t

care. One comment put me in a horrible headspace that I couldn’t get out of, and I let it affect the

rest of my day. As soon as I believed my coach and told myself I can’t do the set I discouraged

myself more and more to the point where I was just going through the motions and giving

minimal effort.
 I have noticed that people tend to be incredibly hard on themselves and seem to find

everything that is wrong. We don’t see ourselves as “good enough”. If we can try and shift our

mindset and celebrate the little things, we can create a more positive outlook on life. A shift in

perspective can change the way we perform in practices and competitions.

Climbing out of the pool my legs were shaking and I was struggling to catch my breath. I

was disoriented as I walked through the crowds of swimmers, parents, volunteers, and officials.

Pushing my way through, tears filled my eyes and my legs continued to cramp with every step I

took. It wasn’t until I saw my coach that my sadness turned into total anger and frustration. I had

just gained five seconds in my favorite event and my coach had not even watched. When all I

wanted to know was where I went wrong, I couldn’t even find the answer because my coach

prioritized making sure the boys were ready to race over watching me. I made my way over to a

bench as my legs gave out and sat on the cold, hard metal. I rinse the chlorine out of my mouth

with kiwi propel and wrapped myself in my warm towel, completely discouraged and isolated.

My head was swirling with thoughts: “He doesn’t even care about me,” “My race wasn’t

important,” “I want to go home.”

Over the past few months, I had become more and more frustrated at my coach’s

behavior, and this was the icing on the cake. Everything I had worked for this season lead up to

this point and he could not be bothered to even watch. Thinking about it, I am not even surprised

that I gained so much time and swam poorly. For weeks leading up to the meet I was in my head

constantly. I compared myself to everyone around me and told myself how much better the guys

on the team were than me. I told myself I was slow and did not deserve to even qualify for that

meet. I was so in my head that when it came time for the meet, I had no belief in my abilities and

did not perform how I should have. I also lacked a support system. I felt that no one believed in
me, and I didn’t have anyone to fall back on. I relied on myself alone to get through my season.

Looking back, all I needed most days was someone to simply encourage me or tell me I was

doing a good job.

Having a support system in place can greatly impact one’s performance, not just in sports

but in life. We find it hard to compliment ourselves and recognize how hard we are working and

having someone simply acknowledge the work you do can greatly impact your mindset. When

we think someone is looking out for us, we want to work harder for them which is why it is

incredibly important to have a strong support system of people looking out for you.

It is crucial to keep the conversation alive about women in sports because discrimination

is still present in athletics around the world. Humans, regardless of gender, should have equal

opportunity to practice, compete, and improve in the sport that they love. It is also important to

have a support system, not just in athletics, but in life. Without people pushing you and cheering

you on, there is no motivation and life becomes pointless. If you have guidance and people to

back, you up you have something to work for. Everyone deserves to be supported and cared for.

To be accepted in your community and to have a support system are necessities for every human,

denial of these necessities is an injustice.