This I Believe

There is a word in the Spanish language that I find to be very important. Apapachar –
coming from Nahuatl, which means “hug with the soul”. I believe a proper hug should always
last more than 5 seconds.
Every holiday and break from school, I am eager to get home and greet my mom with a
proper hug. I stomp through the doors of my house, see her standing in the living room, and
without a single word, greet her with the warm, loving, embrace of wrapping my arms around
her. We stand there for a long while. We don’t say a single word, but you can physically feel the
words that we’re trying to say to each other. “I missed you. I am so happy to be back. I love
you.” I can try to say these words out loud, but it just doesn’t hold the same weight. No matter
what thoughtful thing I can think of, the only proper way to let her know how much she means to
me is a hug. A very long hug.
The truth is, a long hug doesn’t always have to be meant for a family member or
significant other or best friend. Sometimes, a long hug can be given to a loose friend, too.
There’s this idea that we need to only let in people that have shown us a certain level of
openness. You have to be careful to not come across too strong, so as to overwhelm someone.
What if it’s awkward? What if it’s not reciprocated?
Sometimes the most important thing that you could ever do for someone is to show them
a bit of extra love in the best way that you can. We’re all walking around with these barriers of
uncertainty with one another, wondering if we’re being too much of one thing or less of another.
We tiptoe around people so as to not be a disturbance. Meanwhile, people are walking around
with these heavy burdens of life, not letting anyone else in.
Sometimes I come home to my college house and see my roommate in the kitchen. She’s
standing there, making dinner with headphones on. Her shoulders are tightly wound up, her eyes
look tired, and I can tell that its been a long day. I walk up and greet her with the most
obnoxiously tight squeeze and don’t let her move. Two, three, four seconds pass and she finally
loosen her shoulders and hugs me back. I needed that, she says.
Sometimes it’s important to be the first person to embrace someone else. To make them feel
seen, appreciated, and supported. Apapachar.