A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Rickmobile

by Tyler Netees

It is the 16th of July. At about noon, my family and I went on an adventure to see
the Rickmobile - a fibreglass shrine to that highlight of American adult animation,
Rick and Morty.

Today, it was in Fresno, California. We live in a town called Sheffield, which

isn't too far away. As such, we decided to go.

As we were driving, my mother asked why we were doing this. My brother said we were
doing this for me. I said we were doing this for him. This confusion over why we
did this hung over the trip like some pistachios on baklava. As it turns out, my
brother's friend, a long time friend, was also heading to the Rickmobile; as it
turns out, it was also because of my brother. So, the reasons why were, as follows:

My brother's friend for my brother, my brother for me, me for my brother, my father
for me and my brother, and my mother for... well, it was a nice family bonding...
thing.

And oh boy, what a thing it was.

We arrived at about one. As it turned out, there was one hell of a line. As such,
we had to get in the BACK of said line. This is commonly how lines work. So, as we
were standing in line, my toes burning as I had decided to wear sandals, my
brother's friend showed up. He didn't realize there'd be such a line.

Let's go off on a tangent for a second. Fresno - and Sheffield, for that matter -
are located in the Central Valley. The Central Valley is located in California. And
Californian summers are FUN. The tempature often goes into the 100s, but not into
the 110s. It's essentially like someone put a fan in Death Valley; the heat's
unbearable, but not that unbearable. Ok, tangent over.

So, there was a line. A line we had to wait in. And as it turned out, it took a
loooooong time for it to end. So, here's what happened.

We saw some people just leave. Just left, like "Man, I love Rick and Morty, but
fuck it", yeah? We bought some water off of the official planners; water will
become very important in this story. We had partial clouds, so it was sometimes
shady and sometimes terrible. And I kept switching between the shade and the sun;
my parents never did. They just stayed in the shade, after being in the sun a
while. There were 4 sides before we could go in.

The managers of this whole shebang told us the rules of the Rickmobile.

1. Don't be a Jerry. No whining or complaining. (I broke this rule.)

2. No cash or Schmeckles; credit or debit only. (I can see why the no Schmeckles
rule was in place; with one Schmeckles, you could have bought a LOT of stuff.)

We stood and waited. I checked my phone to see what time it was. There were still 4
sides left.

We headed up. I was kinda hot and a little woozy; the water had helped, but I was
feeling kinda weak in the legs bit. It was OK; I was doing this for someone, so I
decided to keep on keepin' on.