改訂版

The provided pie chart illustrates the market of Coca-Cola according to the different markets and their shares in 2020
while the line graph shows the variation in Coca-Cola stock price between the period of 1996-2001. Generally
speaking, North America, Latin America, and Europe were the biggest market for Coca-Cola in 2020 and company’s
stock price fluctuated widely from 1996 to 2001.

The main thing that can be observed here is that North America consumed the highest units of Coca-Cola products at
30.4% of total sales, followed by Latin America at 25.7% and Europe at 20.5%. Since the sum of North America and
Latin America market proportion are slightly over 50%, America continent accounts for half of all sales. On the other
hand, Asia, as well as Africa & Middle East were not the successful market for Coca-Cola due to their low percentage
of sales volume in each region (16.4% and 7.0% respectively).

Interestingly, the stock price of Coca-Cola was fluctuating unstably. Looking at the line graph more closely,
approximately $38 per share in 1996, the lowest between 1996 and 2001. Next 2 years this brand’s share price at the
share market witnessed a significant increase specifically at the end of each year (%70 and $80 respectively) despite a
minimal drop to nearly $52 at the beginning of 1998. A remarkable slip back could be seen in the next two years,
especially the lowest point of $48 in the middle of 2000. However, this trend changed and climbed back to $60 at the
end of 2000 and reached nearly $55 a share in 2001.

・○○年の各国・地域における～
→～ of ～ across different region in (year)
・show→depicts（描写する）
・between の時は”the period of”→”between (year) and (year)”
・biggest→largest
・The main thing that can be observed here→The main observation here
・～割を占める
→accounting for 〇%
※この次に”following with”でつなげる場合は、”at 〇%”で良い
・over 〇%→exceed 〇% （〇%を超える）
・時制気をつける
・due to their low percentage of sales volume in each region (16.4% and 7.0% respectively)
→with sales volumes of only 16.4% and 7.0% in each region, respectively
※only で”low percentage”であったことを表す
・fluctuating unstably→fluctuated significantly over time
（不安定に変動したことを表す）
The provided pie chart illustrates the market share of Coca-Cola across different regions in 2020, while the line graph
depicts the variation in Coca-Cola's stock price between 1996 and 2001. Generally, North America, Latin America,
and Europe were the largest markets for Coca-Cola in 2020, and the company's stock price fluctuated significantly
from 1996 to 2001.

The main observation here is that North America had the highest consumption of Coca-Cola products, accounting for
30.4% of total sales, followed by Latin America at 25.7% and Europe at 20.5%. As the sum of North America and
Latin America's market shares slightly exceeded 50%, the American continent accounted for half of all sales.
However, Asia, Africa, and the Middle East were not successful markets for Coca-Cola, with sales volumes of only
16.4% and 7.0% in each region, respectively.

Interestingly, the stock price of Coca-Cola fluctuated significantly over time. Looking more closely at the line graph,
the share price was approximately $38 in 1996, the lowest point between 1996 and 2001. In the following two years,
the share price witnessed a significant increase, reaching 70% and $80 at the end of each year, respectively, despite a
slight drop to nearly $52 at the beginning of 1998. However, there was a remarkable decline in the next two years,
with the lowest point of $48 in the middle of 2000. Nevertheless, the trend reversed, and the share price climbed back
to $60 at the end of 2000 and reached nearly $55 a share in 2001.

score 7 or better

・Looking at the graph more closely→Looking more closely at the graph

・Next 〇 years this ～→In the following 〇 years, ～
（次の〇年間では～）
・witnessed（経験した）

With a rapid technological development, the wide spread of driverless vehicles is becoming reality. Along with
development, the benefits, as well as the dangers of driverless vehicles are discussed. I personally believe that
driverless cars will bring far more benefits than possible drawbacks they have.

To begin with, there are two significant issue to solve for automated cars. First, responsibility issues when accidents
occur with automatic cars. In previous cars, the driver was responsible person. However, in automatic cars, it is a
difficult question whether the responsibility for the accident lies with the person in the car, with the car manufacturer
who made the car, or with the software manufacturer who developed the software. This responsibility issue needs to
be discussed and create a new law. Another point is that if driverless vehicle become widespread, the employees of
driving services such as taxi drivers will lose their employments. This should also be discussed to find the best
solution.
However, automated cars bring benefits beyond these disadvantages. The major benefit is automated cars are able to
prevent most accidents since previous accidents mostly occur by human error. This function of safe operation by
machine is effective in preventing accidents, especially for elderly people. Because tragic car accidents were
happening twice per week on average in Japan caused by the decreased attention span of elderly people. Moreover,
automatic cars are expected to reduce CO2. Automatic cars eliminate unnecessary acceleration and deceleration and
also reduce traffic congestion, they can reduce the wasteful CO2 emissions generated by human drivers.

To sum up, the disadvantages are able to solve with discussion and legislation, therefore I believe that the benefits of
automatic cars will beyond the disadvantages. Human life will be much wealthier with the introduction of new
technology after sufficient discussion and preparation.
298 words

・by→due to
・beyond the disadvantages→overweigh the disadvantages
・legislation（立法）

With the rapid technological development, the widespread use of driverless vehicles is becoming a reality. Along with
this development, the benefits as well as the dangers of driverless vehicles are being discussed. I personally believe
that driverless cars will bring far more benefits than possible drawbacks.

To begin with, there are two significant issues to solve for automated cars. First, responsibility issues arise when
accidents occur with automatic cars. In previous cars, the driver was the responsible person. However, in automatic
cars, it is a difficult question whether the responsibility for the accident lies with the person in the car, with the car
manufacturer who made the car, or with the software manufacturer who developed the software. This responsibility
issue needs to be discussed, and new laws need to be created.
Another issue is the ethical decision-making process of autonomous vehicles in complex situations, which requires
further research and ethical guidelines. In addition, it is important to consider the impact of driverless vehicles
becoming widespread, as employees of driving services such as taxi drivers may lose their employment. This should
also be discussed to find the best solution.
However, automated cars bring benefits beyond these disadvantages. The major benefit is that automated cars are
able to prevent most accidents since previous accidents mostly occur due to human error. This function of safe
operation by machines is effective in preventing accidents, especially for elderly people. Tragic car accidents were
happening twice per week on average in Japan, caused by the decreased attention span of elderly people. Moreover,
automatic cars are expected to reduce CO2 emissions. They eliminate unnecessary acceleration and deceleration, and
also reduce traffic congestion. They can thus reduce the wasteful CO2 emissions generated by human drivers.

To sum up, the disadvantages can be solved with discussion and legislation. Therefore, I believe that the benefits of
automatic cars will outweigh the disadvantages. Human life will be much improved with the introduction of this new
technology(,) after sufficient discussion and preparation.

SCORE: 7