12 Unit 1 2. Questions to Get You Started Write brainstorming notes for your first draft in your notebook. Consider these to frelp you rite, ‘What aspects of your personality do you want to write about? Are you intelligent? talented? sensitive? sympathetic? hard-working? Another aspect: Se ‘What period in your life do you want to write about? childhood? growing up? school years? today? Another period Do you want to write about any of these subjects: your family origins? learning something important? overcoming a problem or sadness? choosing your future life? Another subjects Choosing Ideas for Paragraph Unity Every paragraph of an essay must have unity, that is, a paragraph must have one main idea, and every sentence in the paragraph must be relevant to that main idea. Read these brainstorming notes that were written by a student applying to a business program. Then read the paragraph she wrote from them about what she learned from her sunimer job. Compare the notes with the paragraph and discu with a partner why some of the notes were crossed out. Brainstorming Notes My-familyissortot peor Work hard Work over the summer Don't waste time Mati boy tena ete Think of the customer first Realized business ‘Show manager he couldn't career is my goal puskmearound: Toy department Money from commissions a Got promotion Store experience: learn a lot from salespeopleBusiness in My Future From the time I was in high school, ! knew that business was the career for me. At 16 I worked in the toy department of Sears, where I eared a 10 percent commission on everything I sold in addition to my salary. That was all the motivation I needed! | always ‘went out of my way to help customers because I realized that if I worked hard, I would succeed. I did. Even though Twas still in high school, earned more in commission than many fulltime employees. Jalso learned the importance of making the best use of my time. On the weekends I slept in, I saw that the most productive salespeople made use of every minute, I did the same, ane my boss promoted me because of my efficiency; also, he saw that [ was ready for new responsibilities, Unfortunately, a business slump has caused many store closings in our area. My job at the toy department convinced me that [ have the energy and ambition to make a career in business, and that’s why I want to go to business school Read the above paragraph again for paragraph unity. Then answer these questions on the lines provided, 1. Whats the main idea of the paragraph? 2, Which two sentences do net support the main idea and should be removed? Now read aner your oun brainstorming notes and select sentences to write a first draft of your paragraphs). Make sure that each paragraph has one idea The Pathway to Freedom 13,+ formal wi After you have torttew a second draft, proofread your work for aay errors and Correct them. These guidelines and exercises should help. 1. Habitual Past vs. Simple Past Stuy these sentences, Then ansieer he questions below. a. [watch the children, bb. L watched the children. c. Tused to wateh the children, L. Which two sentences show that the action happened in the past? 2. Which sentence shows that the action is happening in the present? 3 Which sentence suggests thot the action happened many times in the past, not only once? Usa fo describes a past condition or an action that happened many times in the past. The condition or action is not true now. | used to earry bread with me every cay. ‘The habitual past is also expressed by the past conditional would in is She would le down and get me to sleep Write fie senteners that describe what you used to do zohen you were a child. Use the habitual past. Share your sentences with o partner, When | was a child, used to ye ‘The Pathway to Freedom 1516 Unit 1 cow The simple past can be used to describe both an action that happened only once in the past and an action that happened many times. used to carry bread with me every day This happened many times in the past, not only once. | carried bread with me This happened either once or many times in the past. Incorrect, In 1861, the Civil War used to begin. The verb cannot be in the habitual past because a war can begin only once. Correct {n 1861, the Civil War began. Read this paragraph, Write the correct form of the verb: habitual past with used to or simple past on the lines provided. Some verbs can be in both tenses. Before 1954, most public schools in the South of the United States (used to be / were) segregated, Segregation meant that racial groups were separated. In the South at that time, white children and African American children (used to go /went) to different schools. They ______ (used to learn / learned) their school subjects without coming into contact with one another. Everything __________ (used to start /started) to change when the Supreme Court (used to decide / decided) in 1954 that segregation was unconstitutional. People (used to realize / realized) that children of all races had to learn how to live with one another, 1. unconstitutional; against the U.S. Constitution (for mote information, see Unit 2, p. 26)Working with a partuer, edd the correct indentation, capitalization, and quotation marks where necessary to the essay Below. frederick douglass, an american hero frederick douglass played an extraordinary role in american history. He was born a slave in maryland in 1817. he never saw his brother and wo sisters until he was seven years old, He later wrote in this Narr Slavery made us strangers. At 21, Douglass worked on the docks in Baltimore. from there, he managed to escape from slavery using the identity papers ofa free black sailor. He then went 19 new york city where he smacried ann murray, a free black woman whem he had fret met in baltimore. he chose a new name: douglass from sir walter scott's novel, The lady of the lake. in his new life frederick douglass became an important abolitionist. he helped slaves escape to the north by means of the Underground Railread. in 1847 he began to publish his own newspaper called The Nori Stay. this was the name of the star that escaping slaves followed north in search of freedom. In his newspaper, douglass fought for justice for the oppressed. atthe fist Women's Rights Convention in 1848, he demanded that women be allowed to vote. During the civil war, he pressured president lincoln to allow black people to fightin the Union Army for their freedom, Douglass's sons fought among the black troops. Douglass later became ss, ambassador to haiti, the world’s first black republic. he also beca 2 leader of howard university, the first university for African Americans in the united states, Frederick douglass is an American here ‘The Pathway toFreedom 1930 1, Essay Structure: Writing Introductions, Body Paragraphs, Re Introduction ‘Body Conclusion 1 and Conclusions sad this essay, Then ensiver the questicuts that follow soit a partner Education and Criminals “No man is an island,” wrote the English poet John Donne. We are not alone in this world, and what we do hhas an effect on others. In fact, what we do for prisoners will affect our lives as well as theirs. If we want criminals to become useful members of society when they get out of jail, we must educate them while they are still in prison. Fducation is the key to a prisoner's reform. To create a successfull education program, we must enact four measures. First, we must separate nonviolent prisoners or those violent prisoners who wish to change from violent repeat criminals. Then, for prisoners who want to reform, ‘we need to offer a basic skills program because illiteracy is an obstacle for many prisoners, Without knowing how to read, write, and work with numbers, prisoners can’t participate in today’s job market and end up trapped ina life of crime. For this same reason, up-to-date job training is also essential. In addition to these opportunities, prisoners should have psychological counseling and religious or moral instruction, Because many prisoners havea history of failure and low opinions of themselves, they need to be encouraged to have confidence in their abilities. Prisoners who have job skills and good self- esteem can overcome their depression and feel optimistic, about their chance to succeed. Therefore, they will have a higher chance of success in the world outside of prison. Prisoners can become better future citizens, but we must educate them while they are still in prison to make their reform a success, By instructing and encouragis those prisoners who are nonviolent ee who wich fo, change, we will not only improve their lives, we will ensure the safety of our society. How do the ideas in the introduction proceed: from general to specific ideas? from specific to general ideas? 2. What is the purpose of the body paragraph? 3. Why do we need a conclusion? Unit2 : | t '] 2, The Introduction and the Thesis Statement x The introduction of on essay proceeds from general to specific ideas. The i last sentence in the introduction, the thesis statement, is the most specific idea in the introduction. The thesis statement must communicate a clear idea or opinion, It can never be a statement of fact. Working sith a partner, laok hnck at the introduction of the essey “Education and Criminals.” bn your notebook, drase a diagram like te one below aud copy sentences from the éntraduction, Put thein into three categories: General ideas, e Mare Specific Meas, and Most Specific le, General Ideas 5 (The first sentence(s) of the introduction) We don’t know the exact subject of the essay. ‘No mar is ar island” wrote the English poet John Donna, More Specific Ideas (Several more sentences) The subject becomes clearer. Most Specific Idea (The thesis statement) We know the author's opinion, Loa 3. The Body ‘The body of an essay gives support for the opinion or idea in the thesis, statement. Support can include facts, reasons, statistics, explanations, examples, comparisons and contrasts, and recommendations, wou Write the our reconumendations that the teriter makes in the body of the essay “Education and Criminals.” 1, We should separate hardened criminals from the others. to us tous to Whats YourVerdict? 31 Lo usUnit2 4. The Conelusion A conclusion is necessary because it brings an essay to a close. The conclusion refers to ideas in the introduction and the thesis statement. It should not bring up new unrelated ideas. It is best to use different words in the conclusion from those in the introduction to avoid repetition, Compare the introduction and the conclusion below fiom the essay, "Education and Criminals"(page 30) and anstoer the questions below. Write your ansivers ji ‘your notebook. “No man is an island," wrote the | Prisoners can become betier English poet John Donne. We are | future citizens, but we must not alone in this world, and what | educate them while they are still ‘we do has an effect on others. In| in prison to meke their reform a fact, what we do for prisoners success, By instructing and will affect our lives as well as encouraging those prisoners who theirs. IF we want criminals to are nonviolent or who wish to become useful members of change, we will not only improve | society when they get out of jail, | their lives, we will ensure the we must educate them while they | safety of our society, are still in prison. 1. Which idea in the conclusion is the same as the thesis statement? 2. Which part of the conclusion refers to other ideas in the introduction? 5. Practice with Introductions, Thesis Statements, Body Support, and Conclusions Working with a partner, put these sentences into a logical order tu make an essay introduction arguing against educction for prisoners. Then circle the sentence tat should go last: the thesis statement This punishment usually takes the foxm of a prison sentence. We are all members of society, It would be unreasonable to burden society with the added expense of providing prisoners with a free education, ___. ‘When we do something that harms society, we have to be punished, ____ However, itis very expensive to house and feed prisoners.See Decit ifthe following are good thesis statements. For each one, write “E” for fact, “for an inadequate thesis statement, or “T” fora good thests statement. Discuss your ausivers with a partner £1. In the past ten years, the crime ratein the Linited States has gone down, but the prison population has increased. Tria ie a fact, not an opinion _L_ 2. Long prison sentences are important. lp opinion je vague (not Now Iam going to tell you about criminals and prisons. This thesis does not give an idea, only an annourcement, 4. Harsh punishments for criminals will discourage people from tuming toa life of crime, This thesis clearly writer's opinion. X long prison sentence gives criminals time to think about what they have done. 6, tn 2000, American taxpayers spent approximately $23,000 a year to keep an inmete in prison, —— 7. [have always been afraid of criminals. I will tell you why. 8. Taking young prisoners far away from society and exposing them to harsh conditions in Alaska will help build their characters Look at Hho thesis statement and the possible support for it below. Working with a partner, put a check (/) next to the jacts and explanations that would be good support in a body paragraph forte thesis statement, Discuss your decisions with your partner. Thesis Statement It would be unreasonable to burcien society with the added expense of providing prisoners with a free education Possible Support 1. Prisoners hurt society. We need t condemn them to isolation, We should make it hard for visitors to see prisoners by building prisons far away from communities, 2. Prisoners without skills leave jail with skills. — 3 Prisons cost enough as it is without adding education programs. It is unfair to spend more money on prisons than on public schools. 4 It is unfaie to give criminals an education that many poor people cant afford. This isa luxury that prisoners don't deserve. What'sYour Verdict? 33—— 5. More than half of state prison inmates in 1991 had not completed high school before they went to prison; a third were unemployed, —— 6. Prisons should not have schools becausk seem like a reward, not @ punishment schools make prison, Decide which of these two conclusions would be oppropriate jor a possible essay called “Prison Should Se a Punishment.” Explain your choice in one sentence in your notebook Compare your anstver wit a partner's Conclusion A A prison is not a country club, It is a place where prisoners go to be punished for their crimes, Because inmates owe a debt to society, society should not be expected to pay for their education. It would be unfair to charge poor people 50 much money for higher education and then give fue education to criminals, Conelusion B If we make prison life attractive, we will never be able to control crime, The crime rate has been falling, but it is still higher in the United States than in most developed countries. I have to worry about crime all the time, and there seems to be danger everywhere. What are we waiting for? 6. Organizing Your Essay ‘Study this block diagrant of « three-paragraph essay to help you organize your ay. In your notebook, dace your o%on Fingram and verity your notes in each of its sections. INTRODUCTION Thesis statement BODY PARAGRAPH Explanations, examples, statistics, facts CONCLUSION Write a first draft of your essay. Remiewiher to write in complete sentences and fry to use some ofthe vucabulary and structures that you kave practiced in this wnt.