13 December 2023

Dear Mrs. Williams,

The purpose of this letter is to explain the revisions I have made as part of my final exam in
English 111. I have chosen to revise Formal Assigment #1 because it is the best work that I have
done this semester, concerning formal assignments. My education narrative was very strong to
begin with, but I feel that now it is even stronger, due to my revisions.

My writing has changed in this course, due to many different components. Previous to taking this
class, my sentence length left something to be desired. Due to English 111, I have realized that I
need to work on this issue. In my revised essay, you can see that my sentences are not quite as
short as they once were and they are structured better than they were before. I also learned to cut
out the unnecessary information, that took away from the writing, as a whole. This leson is
exhibited in my final product.

I chose this essay because it is my favorite of the essays that I’ve done in English 111. I think
that it is the best essay that I have written for this class. I enjoyed the process of writing the first
draft, and I think that was reflected in my writing. I believe that by revising my education
narrative, I took what was already my best writing piece, and made it even better. While an
excellent essay already, there were parts that didn’t meet my expectations. This process of
revision helped me to fix those issues and improve the essay as a whole.

When I wrote the first draft of this essay, I started by deciding the moments in my life that I
wanted to write about. This step was very helpful because it gave me an idea of the structure that
I wanted for the essay, and what points I wanted to hit. Throughout the writing process, I added,
and took away certain stories, so that I could better focus on the central idea of my essay.
Another step that I took that was helpful to my writing process, was reading through the example
education narratives that were provided. They helped me to figure out what my final essay
needed to look like. In addition, I researched the quote that I wanted, before hand, which helped
set the mood for my paper.

The most significant changes that I made for the revision of this assignment were re-writing the
introductory paragraph and the paragraph concerning Harry Potter. I did not like the way that the
paragraph about Harry Potter flowed, so I rewrote most of it. The introduction had some fluidity
issues, as well, so I revised it. Overall, the small tweaks throughout the essay, such as taking out
a sentence, or using different words, made the most impact. They may not be as noticeable, but
they are just as important as the large revisions. A lot of the small revisions were due to the
feedback I recieved during peer review. My peer said that my sentences were too compact, and I
took that note to heart. I didn’t get any instructor feedback on this assignment, but the video and
other resources helped me in the original creation of my essay.

Going through the entire Writing Process, step by step, helped me to write the best essay
possible. Prewriting helped me to get down all my thoughts and gave me an idea of what I
wanted to include in my essay. Drafting was when I put the pieces together, and turned them into
an essay. By taking time to revise my essay, I was able to see my essay through the eyes of
another person and adjust it accordingly. I believe that every step of the process is important. If
you take a step away from the process, your essay won’t be as strong as it could be.

I think that the strongest part of my current revised essay is my introductory paragraph.
Originally, my introduction was decent, but there were some parts that felt lacking to me. It felt
like it lacked fluidity and it was kind of all over the place. During my revision, I chose to
combine some sentences and to add some extra information to the paragraph. These small
additions sent my essay over the top. It sounds much better now and I am much happier with the
final product. I feel as though my introduction is strong and it sets the tone for the rest of my
essay.

There are still some components of my essay that I would revise if I had more time. I think that
my conclusion paragraph still has some issues that need to be fixed. I’m not exactly sure where
the problem lies, but with a little bit more time and instruction, I could write a much improved
conclusion paragraph. Another area that could be improved upon is my paragraph transitions.
They are not quite as smooth as I would like them to be. With a bit more time, I could fix this
issue, and improve my essay.

English 111 has been a very helpful course in my education journey. It has helped me improve
my essay writing skills and to be a stronger writer. The main thing I took away from this course
is that planning is a very important step in the writing process. The planning that we have done
before assignments, this semester, has been very beneficial to my final product. I am grateful for
this newly added skill that I have gained because of this class. If there was more time in the
semester, I would have enjoyed learning about writing strong paragraphs. I have issues
concerning knowing the right moment to end a paragraph. I also would have liked to learn more
about the “Writing About Writing” process. I did not fully understand the concept, and a little
more information on that would have been helpful.

Overall, English 111 has been a very enjoyable course, and I am glad that I chose to take it.

Sincerely,

Lillie McCarter
lgmccarter@mymail.gaston.edu
Lillie McCarter

ENG 111

Professor Williams

3 October 2023

My Experience With Education

“She reads books as one would breathe air, to fill up and live” (Annie Dillard, The

Living). This quote is on a bookmark that I had when I was younger. At the time, it pretty much

described my life. At any given moment, you could probably find me with a book. In my car, on

vacation, at a family event, I pretty much always had one with me. Reading was one of my

favorite things in the whole world. However, I’ve never found school to be quite as enjoyable.

I’ve always done well in my classes, but I’ve never really been passionate about them. Due to

this, I have developed the unsavory habit of procrastinating. It is ironic when you think about

how I’ve always cared so much about school and being intelligent, putting pressure on myself to

do well, yet still I continue to do the very thing that holds me back from being completely

successful. My experience with education has been full of mountains and valleys, successes and

shortcomings. There have been many people and moments in my life that have shaped me into

the person and student that I am today.

The first person that I can trace my love of reading back to is my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs.

Smith. She is one of the most wonderful teachers that I have ever had. Even though, in

elementary school, teachers weren’t assigned to individual subjects, you could tell Mrs. Smith

was most passionate about English. She read “A Series of Unfortunate Events” by Lemony

Snicket aloud to us, every day, in class. I had liked reading before, but my true love for reading

began in that 3rd grade classroom. Mrs. Smith was a stern teacher, but she was just as kind. She
knew how important reading would be for our futures. I don’t know if she could ever truly know

just how impactful she has been on my life. Some of my fondest memories of school came from

that year.

A moment from 3rd grade that I think was pretty defining for me, was my 3rd grade class

spelling bee. Every class had their own individual spelling bee, and the top two students from

each class made it to the 3rd grade spelling bee. The winner from there, went on to the school

spelling bee. At the time, academic achievements were very important to me, so I wanted to win.

My class started our spelling bee and when I got 2nd place, I was over the moon. However, we

didn’t follow all of the rules correctly, so we had to start from the beginning, and this time, I lost.

I was completely devastated, so much so that I went to the bathroom and cried. It was a very

disappointing moment because I had such high standards set for myself. In retrospect, there was

no way that I should have put so much pressure on myself at such a young age. My desire to be

the best continued on for years, and to be honest, I still want people to think of me as intelligent.

Another problem that I still struggle with is procrastination. 4th grade is the farthest that I

can trace back this issue. The assignment that I first remember procrastinating on was a project

for my math class. We were learning about area and perimeter, and each student had to create

their own town. It seemed fairly simple, and I was actually pretty excited to complete it. I had

this wonderful idea to make a town that was candy themed that had buildings with names such

as, “Laffy Taffy Library.” However, I procrastinated on it, getting distracted by the desire to do

other things, and I had to scramble to complete it. I finished the assignment in time, and I even

got an A, but that night was the first of many nights spent scrambling to get an assignment done

in time.
 The summer before 7th grade was the beginning of my decline in reading. I had just

finished the Harry Potter series, and I was still very much enthralled in it. I had been reading the

series for months, so when it was over, I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to read, but no other

book interested me. I spent my time wishing there was more in the series. This had never

happened to me before, and it put me in a reading slump that lasted for quite sometime. Even

still, I don’t read as much as I used to.

My procrastination problem, only got worse with the rise of Covid-19. Being quarantined

and having to do work from home, left me without the structure that I needed to get assignments

done on time. I got distracted by other things, and became lazy. I wanted nothing less than to do

my school work. I would rather be watching tv, texting my friends, and hanging out with my

family. My education was put on the back burner and it caused my grades to slip. That year, I got

my first B, and it was entirely my fault. I didn’t know what to do. I had never gotten any grade

less than an A, and I took pride in that. I had let laziness overcome me, but I still cared about my

grades. I felt stuck, but I was doing nothing to move out of the quicksand that I was sinking

deeper and deeper into. Thankfully, I came back to school in my freshman year and I started to

do much better. Procrastination is still an issue that I am battling with, but coming back to school

definitely helped it to improve.

In 10th grade, I had a wonderful English teacher named Ms. Chase. She always pushed

each and every one of her students to do their best. Her class could be extremely challenging and

frustrating at times, which was new to me. I had always thought of English as my best class, but

it no longer felt like it. However, Ms. Chase was encouraging and let us revise our assignments,

which made the class not quite as frustrating. My greatest takeaway from her class was the books

that I read. They were books that I would have never read on my own, but that I absolutely
loved. At that time, the typical books that I loved, like romance novels, weren’t interesting to me.

She introduced me to books that were different, and it broadened my interests greatly. I am so

thankful for that class and those books.

My education history has been many things, rewarding, confusing, frustrating, and so

much more. I can see how much I’ve changed as a person over the course of the past 11 years of

my life, in school alone. I still love reading and I still do well in school, but I still procrastinate. I

have had many different experiences, but through it all, I want to do my best and I care about my

education. I am grateful for the education I’ve had and the teachers who have been there along

the way.