THREE GENERATIONS

The film is called in two different ways: Three Generations and About Ray. Can you explain each? How does
the generational factor gravitate in the story? How does it affect the individual factor?
If we focus on the title “Three Generations”, we can think of the movie as a story of, exactly so, three
generations of a family, and the way in which each generation is related to the other. We might take the movie
as a family drama in which we learn the way in which these three generations think about certain topics, and
how they help each other understand different realities. If you consider it like that, we can think of Dolly’s
generation (the grandparents) as the one with a more close-minded type of thought (even though she is a
lesbian). Then, Maggie’s generation (the parents) is the one trying to understand how the world is changing
and accepting it despite having some differences. And finally, Ray’s generation is the one that is supposed to
have an open mind, the one that understands that the world is different and wants to, somehow, change it.

If we focus on the title “About Ray”, however, we expect the movie to be about someone called Ray. If we
attend to the plot of the film, we can think that the movie is about Ray’s experience being a trans boy, his
struggles and his transitioning process. The film should portray every aspect necessary to understand Ray as
an individual, and how his struggles relate to the ones surrounding him (friends and family).

The film, however, is neither of these things. The plot actually seems to revolve around Maggie’s drama and
her past relationship, and about signing the permission for Ray’s treatment.

When did Ray realize he was a boy?

When he was around four years old. Ray’s background: he was raised in New York by his mum, his
grandmother and his grandmother’s girlfriend. “All I ever wanted was normal.”

Which are the first physical changes he does to himself?

He cuts his hair, uses a binder and starts exercising so as to gain muscle. He is now willing to start testosterone
treatment, which will also involve weight gain, facial hair growth and a drop in the menstrual cycle. Then she
shaves his head.

When he asks for medical treatment to get a complete body change, how do his parents react?
Since Ray is 16, he will need permission for the medical treatment (his parents need to sign). Even though it
appears that his mother is ok with it, she actually struggles to sign the papers because she doesn’t truly want
to do it.

Craig, Ray’s father, doesn’t want to sign the papers. He thinks Ray might change his mind and argues that
there are a lot of risks in taking the treatment. He claims that, as the father, he has the right to make an
informed decision, and then choose whether or not to sign the papers.

His mother, at the beginning, has a lot of struggles trying to convince Ray’s father to sign the papers. It seems
that she is really trying to find him, or even that she is willing to do whatever it takes to get the papers signed
(“Will I need proof that he is dead?” – “Could I fake the sign?”). Her mother, however, thinks than maybe she
is scared of finding Craig because he could be on board with the whole thing; that is, that he will sign the
papers immediately and she would have to do so as well.

“That’s how I feel. I feel like shit. Or worse than shit.”, Ray said. And not even then her mother signed the
papers. She wants to take it slow, and she is clearly scared about the whole situation. It must be hard for a
mother to be losing the person that he had always known as her daughter, seeing that person becoming a
guy. So yes, she has every right to feel frightened about it. However, it is not her place to decide whether or
not the papers have to be signed. This is something she had to do because her sone needed it to feel better.
She has many opportunities to sign the papers, yet she doesn’t do it until she is confronted about it by Ray’s
father. During the movie, she acts as if she were ok with it, perfectly fine with it. However, it is clear that she
had second thoughts about the decision: What if he changes his mind? Will he be fine? Every time the
opportunity to sign the papers presents to her, she delays it, with the excuse that it is because Craig hasn’t
sign them. And when she finally signs them, she cries.

Which are the things he struggles with the most?

- his body (“I’m too small”)

- his voice

- his friends do not see him as a boy

- he likes a girl, but the girl thinks of him as a woman (“she likes big dicks”)

- the bathroom (in school there are just gendered bathrooms, and he doesn’t feel comfortable with going to
neither of them)

In the end he gets permission for a complete change, how does this affect his parents and their relationship
with Ray?
After Ray gets permission for a complete change, every problem seems to have been solved. By the end of
the film, the whole family is having dinner together. It is a pretty forced ending and makes us believe that the
whole plot is about signing the papers. The problem seems to resolve itself.

Explain the connection with the title of the film and provide a brief reflection on the idea of the word
“normal” in this interaction:

They have different conceptions of what the word “normal” and “authentic” mean. One would think that
Dolly, having experienced what being part of the LGBT+ community is like, she would have been the first to
understand and support Ray. The difference in the generations shows, however. Ray desires to be normal,
which for his is the same as being authentic. He wants to look like a boy because he feels like one, because
he is one. And he wants to start a new life where no one knew how he looked before transitioning. For Dolly,
on the other side, being authentic means being against the rules, probably. She has had a different
experience, and she probably had to fight for her rights. Maybe she was even told that she had to be normal,
so the words “normal” and “authentic” are very different in her perspective.

Ray’s desire to start over: he wants to move to a place where people didn’t know him when he was still
perceived as a girl. “I’m done with being an exception.”

It is surprising, and maybe at the same time it isn’t, that by the end of the film the only person that apologizes
to Ray and tells him that they love him no matter what, because he is still the same person as before just that
with a different body, is Dolly. “It is about time that we have a man in this family.”

What happens in this interaction? What is the difference between this dialogue and the previous one?
How kids have a different mindset. Through this dialogue, we can see how this conversation was perfectly
normal for the kids. They didn’t question Ray from a place of judgement, they asked him questions because
they were curious about it. And then simply added “I’m a girl in a girl’s body, I think” without even paying
much attention to it, like “It is something that is being discussed but right now I don’t really care about it”.

When and where does the film take place? Would this story have possibly taken place in a smaller city?
Why/not?
The film takes place in New York. I don’t think it would have been the same if the film was set in a smaller city
for a several number of reasons. First of all, smaller cities tend to be more closed-minded so as a start it would
have been more difficult for Ray to be accepted and to come out in general. Also, in a smaller city access to
medical treatment is harder to get; for that reason, Ray probably wouldn’t have been offered the hormone
treatment.

How much does the film reflect social reality in terms of respect towards gender identity?
It doesn’t.

How does the film portray discriminatory discourses and practices?

- misgendering

- “why can´t he be a lesbian?”

- slurs

- hate crime: he is beaten up by some boys who call him both lesbian and trans slurs

- “One of my kids is sick”.

- “I’m sorry if you are this way because of me”.