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Chad
Chronicles
Chad Chronicles are short parables centered around Sales.

Chad Chronicles: A New Day

It was getting late.

A young man was wrapping up another long day at the office.

He was exhausted and anxious.

Although he had just started selling 90 days ago, the anxiety from not
reaching his quota was getting to him..

“Maybe sales just isn’t for me” he thought.

As the young man began to pack his things and head home for the
evening..

*BOOM!*

A Chad falls from the sky and landed with such power the entire
office shook..

“Young man, did I hear you say sales isn’t for you?” “Yes, I keep

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getting rejected! I don’t know what to do anymore and I feel like-“

*SPLASH!*

Chad pours a bucket of water on the young man before he can finish
his sentence.

“WAKE UP!” roared Chad.

The young man, soaking wet, snapped into attention.

“I want to show you something” says Chad as he hands the young man a
towel to dry off.

Chad begins waving his hands and then..

*POOF*

A Clown Salesperson magically appears..

The Clown Salesperson was beginning a sales call.

“Listen to the Clown and tell me what you hear” says Chad

“Ok so your problem is you’re only relying on emails to connect with

customers” says the Clown

“And you guys are missing opportunities for more sales due to only
having one channel available for communication. Correct?” The Clown
says and pauses waiting for the prospect to answer.

The prospect agrees.

The Clown Salesperson then says “Perfect! Let me show you how we
can solve those problems for you!”

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“I see a salesperson doing a good job.” shrugs the young man.

Then out of nowhere..

*SPLASH!*

Another bucket of water rains down on the young man.

“Oh come on! What now?!” yells the young man who is now soaking wet
AGAIN.

“You fool!” roars Chad.

“This clown salesperson sounds JUST like every other salesperson” “I

don’t get it” says the young man.

Chad snaps his fingers and yells “BE GONE CLOWN!” the Clown
Salesperson disappears.

Chad then waves his hands and then..

*POOF!*

A Chad Salesman appears!

The Chad Salesman is just beginning his call, but sounds completely
different.

“Listen closely, young man” says Chad.

“So here’s the deal. Your industry is booming. Last year alone the
industry exceeded $200B in sales and it’s on pace to
grow 6-7% year over year. We’re talking about BILLIONS of dollars
ripe for the taking.

Question is, whose gonna get the spoils?

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On one side, you have the big dogs acquiring guys like you cause they’re
trying to innovate.

On the other side, you have the little guys like yourselves raising tons
of money so you can get as big of a piece of the $200B pie.

Now the problem is you have tech monopolies changing their privacy
policies which will affect how you guys CAN and WILL communicate
with customers.

Everyone knows what’s coming..

but only a FEW are prepared, which is why WE are here on this call.

To help you guys adapt to the big changes coming and ensure your
business succeeds. Now, in order to do that, I need to ask you a few
questions..”

The young man, with his jaw dropped, couldn’t believe what we had
heard.

“WTF? He sounded amazing.” said the young man

Chad smiled & nodded, and then said: “Yes, he did.”

“Can you please explain what just happened?” begged the young man

Chad told the young man to have a seat, and then began explaining:

“Clown Salespeople have no real perspective to offer prospects. All

they do is sell products and hope for the best. A Chad Salesman takes
a CEO’s perspective and can frame the entire playing field.

He has a DEEP understanding of not only his product but also what’s
happening in the industry. This makes him a COMPETENT
professional, an industry expert, and a force to be reckoned with.”

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“Wow.” says the young man as he scrambles to take notes

“The Clown Salesperson prides himself on being a problem solver. But

doesn’t set any agenda, only asks a few questions, and impatiently
wants to show the prospect his product. He doesn’t actually have any
REAL value to offer the prospect aside from his product.

The Clown Salesperson has not solidified himself as a high status

individual, so that’s why when he asks one too many questions, the
prospect begins to get IMPATIENT with him. It’s like pulling teeth.”

“The Chad Salesman began his call with an IDEA. He framed the
entire industry landscape AND set the agenda for the call. This
PRIMES the prospect to open up to him and now the prospect will
happily answer all of his questions. And will thank him for doing so!”

And last but not least, there’s nothing at stake in the Clown
Salespersons call.

This is just another ordinary product demo that everyone has

experienced a million times.”

Whereas with the Chad Salesman, he RAISED THE STAKES with his
prospect.

There were BIG changes coming to the prospects industry & SO much
to lose if the prospect doesn’t consider a solution like his.

A Chad Salesman COMMANDS ATTENTION by always having the

bigger perspective (frame control).”

“Wow. I think I get it now, Chad.” said the young man

“Good, now go home and dry off. Tomorrow is a new day.” said Chad.

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Chad Chronicles: Born again

A young man was in the middle of a sales call.

The prospect was grilling the young man with incessant questions about
product features and data sets.

The young man, lifeless, was answering each and every question.

But with every answer, came more questions..

The prospect grew bolder and bolder with his questions.

The young man felt like he was being backed into a corner.

He didn’t know what else to do.

It was the end of the month and if he didn’t close out this deal he
would be below quota AGAIN..

Then, while the prospect was rambling.. a Chad magically appears on

the young mans shoulder!

*POOF!*

“Young man, I am Chad, the sales oracle. My child, why do you give into
your prospects incessant demands?”

“Oh Chad! What else am I to do?! HE’S the valued customer!” says the
young man

Chad painfully flicks the young mans cheek

“FOOL! How many companies in the world can benefit from your

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product?”

The young man rubbing his cheek in pain, says “Millions!”

“And how many companies in the world can do what YOUR company
does?”

“Uhh maybe 5-6” says the young man

“And there is your answer my child. YOU are the prize to be won, NOT
the prospect.” says Chad.

And then all of a sudden, it clicked..

The young man sat up, chest out, chin up, and looked at the prospect
with piercing eyes.

He roars “ENOUGH!”

The prospect looked at the young man in shock!

The young man then says:

“At this point, we are simply nitpicking for ‘nice to have’ features. In
reality, our product solves all of your problems more efficiently than
our competitors. There’s a reason why [your competitor 1], [2] and
companies like [Fortune 500 company 1] and [Fortune 500 company 2]
spend hundreds of thousands of dollars with us!

It’s because we’re best in class..

If these features are a dealbreaker for you then no worries! I’m happy
to refer you to [our competitor]. Sure they’re not as good but perhaps
they have those specific features you feel you need!”

The prospect was shocked.

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And then apologetically says..

“Sorry young man, we just felt we needed to get all the details in
order before moving forward.”

The young man responds:

“Your industry is changing rapidly, your competitors are raising millions

of dollars, do you really believe you have time to wait on this?!”

The prospect knew the young man was right and immediately asked for
the agreement.

The young man turned to Chad and Chad gave him a thumbs up before
disappearing.

The young man broke the dry spell and surpassed his quota that month.

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