EFFECTIVE Academic Writing SECOND EDITION Alice Savage Patricia Mayer OXFORDOXFORD Shek Che p54 ema ONEOER ssl fn pay ge po am Fprtn tA ese lore ane ime senate ere FRISS UShacsaan to Fo alten, Ce nine nop nd gn helactine etre cetes nese sn, ‘inset pata rea a ‘ene npantte aire ben ed panes na Nousruorzedptotocpying a yur pen tng fad Sars Rese mee pestncly iy tect strep pe eopepn toh oan re ne geen Uinta pay stn ae roe yng than or ny nie yep ‘ihr pane ares ‘eae bing age Shara ep Sagi ar url ‘act ig Mage Met ge ‘casting atc ied nd aac ‘Rear piu eure genpeiinarrat Dihiney earn epee rere Foti ear ony meri ne apg 50 EOE Nie hmattynuonefOsGpehot teens! ‘Step ro orn trom Sp 80 tltencr tok cnp at ha ape cae a an ramones er ct vont dee m0 ag yr ner peruse ero Dk ‘Srctaacin Devoe We ak ellos eng pose ne eg perene ‘er tiny econ Maa Sco fc opm ang ca ees peo gp Sepa ut hates ‘om p30 ee Mone brimReviewers Wie would ike to acknowledge the following individuals for their input during the development ofthe series Chris Alexis, Collage of Applied Sener, Sur, Oman ‘Amina Saif Mohammed Al Hashamia, Colege of Applied Sciences, Nawa, Oman Amal Al Mugarshi, Coleg of Applied Sciences, ib, Oman Saleh Khalfan ssa AL-Rakbi, Collegeof Applied Sciences, Niwa, Oman Dr. Debra Baldwin, UPP Alasal University, Sau Arabia Virginia. Bouchard, George Mason University, English Language Institue, Washington D.C Judith Buckman, Collegeof Applied Sciences, Salalah, Oman Dr. Catherine Buon, American University of Armenia, Armenia Mel-Rong Alice Chen, Nationa Taiwan Unversity of Science and Technology, Tipe Mark L. Cummings, Jefferson ‘Community and Tethnical_ College, KY Hitoshi Eguchi, Hokusei Gakuen University, Japan Elizabeth W. Foss, Washtenaw Community College, MI Sally C. Gearhart, Santa Rosa dunior College, CA ‘Alyona Gorokhova, Miramar Community College, CA Dr. Simon Green, Callege of ‘Applied Sciences, Oman Janis Hearn, Hongik University, South Korea ‘Adam Henricksen, Univesity of Maryland, Baltimore County, MO ‘lay Hindman, Sera Colege, A Kuei-ping Vicky Hsu, National ‘ing Hua Univers, Hsinchu ‘Azade Johnson, Abu Dhabi Men's College, Higher College of Technology, UAE ‘Chandra Johnson, Fresno Pacific Univesity, CA Pei-Lun Kao, Chang Gung Univesity, Gueishan ‘Yuko Kobayashi, Tokyo University of Science, Japan Blair Lee, Kyung Hee University, Japan CChia-yu Lin, Navona Tsing Hua University, Hines Kent McClintock, chosun University, Sout Korea Joan Oakley, Colege ofthe North ‘Atlantic tar, Qatar Fetnanda G, Ortiz, CESL Univesity of Arizona, AZ ‘William D. Phelps, Southern ins University IL Dorothy Rarasay, College of Applied Scienes, Soar, Oman ‘Vidya Rangachari, Mission Colege, CA Elizabeth Rasmussen, Northern Virginia Comunity College, VB Syl Rice, AbuDhabi Men's College, igh Colleges of Technology, UAE. Donna Schaeffer, University of Washington, WA Dr. Catherine Schaff Stump, Kirkwood Conmunity College A Mary-Jane Scot, Sungshin Women's Unnersiy, South Korea Jenay Seymeur, Hong k University, South Korea Janet Sloan Rachid, UAE. University, Alain, UAE Bob Studholne, UAE. University, A An, UAE Paula Suzuki S-UK Language Cente, Japan Sabine Thépaut, tensive English Language Insitute, Univesity of North Texas, Shu-Hui Y, ting Tung University, Taichung Etc ‘our mast profound appreciation goes to Sharon Sargent or adding her vision and Improving ths book, to Vicky eschbacher fr her generous, patent, and meticulous editorial sil, and to Alex Regan and Jenifer Meldrum for thee attention to deta ‘We'd als ike to thank ou fais for their continuous love and support. PM. and A, fective Academic Wting iforo ont ; Language and Unit Academic Focus | Rhetorical Focus | Grammar Focus Writing + Paragraph structure |» Simple and compound 1 SThetopicsentence | sentences + Unity and + Run-on sentences coherence + Dependent clauses Paragraph to | «The preston m Short Essay | ana Short essay + Short essay page organization Culinary Arts | + Descriptive + Prepostional phrases 2 and Nutrition organization in descriptive writing + Details in sentences + Siiles and simile structure Descriptive sadjeaivesin Essays sdeserptive writing page? Psychology + Narrative + Sequence in narrative essays organization + Suberdnating conjunctions + Details in essays +The past continuous Narrative innavatve esaye Essays + Pastime clauses + Simultaneous activities pages Travel and —_|_* Comparison + Comparison and Tourism contrast ‘contrast connectors crganization + Comparstvesin | ‘omparison-contrast essays ‘Comparison- + Comparatvesin sentences Contrast Essays page 79 Iw ContentsRhetorical Focus Technology Opinion Essays page 103 Education and | 6 Economies Cause-and- Effect Essays page 129 Td esas Appendix I: The Writing Process Appendix I: Punctuation Appendix 1V: Glossary + opinion organization + Facts and opinions + Counterargument and refutation + Cause-andcetfect organization + clustering Information Appendix V: Correlation to Grammar Sense 2. Language and Grammar Focus + Quantity expressions in opinion essays + Connectors to show support and apposition + Phrasal verbs ‘The future with will + Will with so that + Future possibilities with Hdavses 160 161 163 165 168 fective Academic Writing vWelcome to Effective Academic Writing Effective Academic Writing, Second Edition instills student confidence and provides the tools necessary for successful academic writing. we Intro —— 2 Academic Writing || Academic Writing S Introductory Level Level Level 2 Level Developing Ideas ‘The Paragraph ‘The Short Essay The Kecearohed Essay '= Step-by-step Writing Process guides and refines writing sills 1 Timed writing practice prepares students for success on high-stakes tests, '= Online Writing Tutor improves academic writing inside and outside the classroom, © online writing Support for all Levels Vi tntoductionOverview Effective Academic Writing, Second Edition delivers practice that will improve your students’ writing. 1 NEW! The new introductory Level provides students with the support and instruction they need for writin success in the lowest-level writing coutses. = NEW More content-area related assignments with more academic vocabulary and readings prepare students for the challenges of the academic classroom, Each unit introduces an academic content theme | fd writing task and fuides students through the Writing Process SEEING Concise and effective language and | er pte grammar presentations develop | Student’ understanding and improve | | tei accury Fach unit addresses a particular ___ rnetorical mode and provides user-friendly guidance to help students master the form. 5 Timed writing prepares students for exams and highstakes tests Introduction viEffective Academic Writing Online Qs ease ere eee ited ae ete a tae ae D eS aanelaneae reels For the Student = Online Writing Tutor helps students retain and apply their writing skil ‘+ Models of the unit writing assignments demonstrate good writing {and allow students to understand how each text is constructed. ‘= Writing frameworks help students with organizing and structuring, for the sentence level, paragraph level, and the text as a whole, + Students can plan, structure, and write their own texts, check their work, then save, print, or send directly to thelr teacher. 1» Extensive Online Grammar Practice and grammar term glossary support students in using grammar structures appropriately and fluently in ‘their writing. 1» Comprehensive Peer Editor’s Checklists support collaborative learning 1 Printable Outline Templates support the writing process. For the Teacher 1 IELTS-style, TOEFL-style, and TOEIC-style online writing tests can be customized and printed. '& Online test rubries make grading easy. = Online Grammar Practice is automatically graded and entered into the online grade book. tt Answer keys makes grading easy. 1= The online management system allows you to manage your classes. View, print, or export all class and student reports, FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPO! FOR TEACHER CODES Email our customer support Please contact your sales representative ‘team at elisuppart@oup.com, for a Teacher Access Code. Teacher Access Codes ate sold separately Vill tntroductionParagraph to Short Essay Unit Goals Rhetorical Focus paragraph structure the topic the short essay ation Language and Grammar Focus simple and compound sentences run-on sentences dependent clausesWriting Process Part 1 jhe Paragraph 2 unit paulo Coelho Thinking abaut the topic A. Read the quotes about writing, Why do these profesional authors write? Do you share their felings in any way? B, Now discuss the quotes in small groups. Make notes about your feelings on ‘writing, Asa group, present your views on writing. Sree Review of Faragraph Structure A paragraph is a group of sentences about atopic. Atypical paragraph begins ‘with atopic sentence, which introduces the topic. The sentences that fllow support the idea inthe topic sentence with explanations, reasons, and other details The concluding sentence brings the paragraph to an end Formatting « Paragraph * Leave one-inch margins onthe lft and right side ofthe page ‘inden the firs sentence. The ret ofthe sentences follow eachother, so that the paragraph looks like «square witha litle space taken out of the corner. * Double-space your paragraph. Paragraph to Short EssayExercise 2 Identifying the elements of a student paragraph A. Read the paragraph. Then label the formatting elements of the paragraph. Use the letters in the bo. a. double spacing b. margin «. indent ‘The Ice-Man_ 15 Whereveremenber my expe in at sc Tink ofmyinsrcer beans he waht me hoo ye His clan Soke Mantes fe ways al, Tw poste 2 <—sescnehecae ad u dnts onw ascn ‘got ton Forex one nm amd i ake <2, hie we wee hing inh ls Moin oad cnt tts, ova, He jo po nario fi te poten. cone the mista andi coe omy bts Choi nth Dk ite 1 will always remember his qui lasses that he wore. He was a special person in my life, and [hope that someday Iwill see hirn again and thank him for helping me to realize my dream of flying solo and becoming a real plot. BB. Answer the questions about the paragraph above. Give reasons for your answers. 1, Gircethe topic sentence, Does the topic sentence help you understand what the paragraph willbe about? 2. How many supporting sentences does the paragraph have? Underline them, 5, Doll the supporting sentences relate to the topic sentence? 4. Circle the concluding sentence. Does the cancuding sentence make the paragraph feel finished? Waiting Process Part 1 3Exercise 3 Reading a student paragraph Read the paragraph. What risk did the boy taket The Coconut Tree When I was a boy and frst learning about the world, I took a big risk. | as playing in the yard outside of my family’s house with my friends. twas a hot day, and we were resting in the shady side of ur house. One of my friends dared me to climb the coconut tree in ‘our yard. I looked at the tree. It was mature and very tall but a little bit curved. | had seen men climbing these trees, and it looked easy, but | had never tried before. I wanted to show my courage, so | said | would, The tree was scratchy, but | found places for my feet and hands, and soon Iwas near the top. But then the tree began to move inthe breeze. Suddenly fel. There was a great pain in my atm. My friends ran to tell my mother. She took me to the hospital | had a broken arm, and one of my ibs was broken. | felt bad for a long time after that. The worst part was that every day | had to walk past the coconut tree and remember my foolish risk Exercise 4 Examining the student paragraph Examine the paragraph by responding tothe questions and statements below Underline the topic sentence Ist the first or second sentence? Is the fest sentence indented? How many supporting sentences are there? Which are they? keene Circle the concluding sentence. 'B, Respond to the paragraph by answering the following questions. 1. Where was the writer atthe time ofthe event? 2, Who was he with? 5. What was the consequence of the rsk he took? 4, Have you ever done something risky? What 4 Unit 1 | Paragraph to Short EssayRaa _ The Topic Sentence An effective paragraph contains a good topic sentence. A sucesful topic Seotence has the following fetures. *Teinttaduces the pic oF what the paragraph wil be about Italo contains an ides or opinion abou the top This dai called controlling idea. Certain types of Insects con benefit a garden ‘The topic sentence must not bea simple fact or deta Instead it must contain & speci idea. The idea or opinion must not be too genera othe op Sentence ‘ibe unclear There ae approximately 4,000 chemical in cigarette smoke, (act not {opt sentence) Smoking is bad. dee, oo general fora topic sentence) Smoking advertisements have @ harmful influence on children. pec ia) +The topic ntence usualy apear asthe fist or second sentence of paragraph Here ithe second sentence Have you ever noticed that closets are getting bigger and rooms are geting smaller? Changes in pooula culture can be seen in changes to the typical famby home. ‘The tple sentence implies the purpose ofthe paragraph: to explain, narrate, ‘compins describe explain causes or effets, demonstate, argue or provide the steps in a proces ‘My sister’ personality is completely different from mine. (shows comparison) ‘smoking results in thousands of smoking-related deaths each year (tolls cause and effect) Exercise 5 Identifying topics and controlling Ideas Ciel the tpi, and underline the controlling idea inthe topic sentences below 1 (The painting Stary Night by Vincent van Gog is fascinating in man ways 2. My fist driving ison was disaster. 2. The process of geting drive’ cense has sever ep. 4. Myabity to speak English has changed my life in several important ways 5, Som compter games involve the layer in phys activity 6. Choudy wear tects certain poplin negate was Process Part 1 5Exercise 6 Identifying purpose in topic sentences enti the purpose ofthe paragraph that follows logically from each tic sentence below. 1. Almost anyone can get a good grade if the follow these instructions. a. expressan opinion b(tellstepsin a process) c._narratea story 2, There ae thee major causes of obesity in children 4 compare two subjects b. explain causes and effets c, describe a topic 3. Iwill always remember a fishing rg that took with my father when I was 12 yeas ld. ‘compare two subjects f, explain causes and effects ¢. narrate a story 4, Tbelieve that students should not own credit ards & tellstepsing process b. explain causes and effets c express an opinion 5. Owls ate differen fom hawks in several significant ways, compare two subjects b, describe a topic express an opinion. Fxercise 7 Predicting paragraphs from controlling ideas 6 Unit 1 Circle the topic and underline the controlling idea ofeach topic sentence below. Then with partner, predict what the rest of the paragraph will discuss. 1 ({oumigrating to Canada from Vietnard was difficult for my parents, Prediction: Ararrative about the wr ter's parents’ journey from Vietnam. oCanada 2. Cell phones should not be allowed in clascooms for several reasons. Prediction 3. Canedin Restaurant has the best seafood in town, Prediction 4 Training for the marathon i Prediction: complicated process 5, Taking the TOEEL test isa hardship for many students. Prediction: | Pratap to str styExercise 8 Identifying offective topic sentences Read each pair of sentences. Write TS next to the sentence that is more effective. Be prepared to explain your choice. 1. 12 a. An nglish-Englsh dictionary isthe best choice for English learners 5, Many English learners use dictionaries. 2 Thegrains of rice should not stick together. —— b. Persian rice is only considered authentic if it is made inthe fllowing way. ‘a The Imeret as changed the way students do research for term papers. — b The Internets changing students lives. a. Acollege degree i impectant. __— b Having college degre has many positive effects ona person’ ie Exercise 9 Writing effective topic sentences For each question, choose two ofthe purposes below and write a tpic sentence fr each. Purposes compare two topics explo effets tellastory describe something sive an opinion tel steps in a process explain auses 1, Soccer 2. Purpose: Zocxplan the positive effects of plavin soccer Topi Sentence: Pavina soecerofferomany benifits, b. Purpose: to compare soccer andbasketball as a av tainorm people. ‘Topic Sentence: Soucer and basketball look different, but they have _ snany similarities, 2. Awedding ‘Topic Sentence: Writing Process Part 175 An adventure 1. Purpose: “Topic Sentence: . Purpose: Topic Sentence: 4. Fear 8. Purpose: ‘Topic Sentence: bs, Purpose: ‘Topic Sentence: 5, Desserts a. Purpose: ‘Topic Sentence: by, Purpose: “Topic Sentence + learn about paragraph unity and coherence 8 Unit 1 | Paragraph to Short Essayeared ing Process Part 2 Ean Unity within a Paragraph fective writing must have unity. paragraph ha unity when ll the sentences ‘support one singe idea. ‘The paragraph must have one contellng iain the topic sentence, Otherwise the paragraph loses focus “The supporting sentences mest support, demonstrate, prove or develop the main {ea in the topic sentence. f they do not, they will be irrelevant or off-topic and estoy the unity ofthe paragraph. “The concluding sentence should restate the idea in the topic sentence to reinforce {he main idea for the reader. Exercise 1 Reading a student paragraph Read the paragraph. What isthe talent of each ofthe three family members described in the paragraph? Stories of Nepal ‘My mother grew up in a creative and inferesing fomily in Nepal. Her father was an ostronomer who worked for the King of Nepal. Very often my grondfather would take my mother to work with him so she could look through «telescope and see the planets and sos. Then she would play in the planetarium until her older brother come to pick her up. On the walk home, her brother would tel her stories. Sometimes he would point to someone on the sree or standing in @ doorway and begin a new story obout the person. My grandmother was aso interesting, She hiked {0 point portraits of children. She painted many beautiful portraits of my mother although my mother said it was dificult fo sit ill. Afer my mother left Nepal she studied computer programming in Wisconsin. I love remember my mother’ stories, and now | enjoy telling my own daughter ‘bout her grandmother’ life in Nepal Witing Process art 291g the student paragraph for unity Examine the organization of the paragraph by responding tothe following ‘questions and statements. Then compare your answers with a partner, 1, Underline the topic sentence. sit the frst or second sentence? 2, Write the controlling ida from the topic sentence in your own words. 5, One sentence inthe paragraph is irrelevant. Draw a ine through it 4 Why is the sentence irrelevant? Write your explanation below. Exercise 3 Recognizing unity in supporting sentences ‘Read the following topic sentences. Puta check (/) next to each sentence below that supports the topic sentence. 1. There are several reasons why online courses ae increasing in popularity. £4 Online courses are flecilein terms of time. _— } Online courses have been available since the 1990s. £_ € Online courses are mare convenient for students who live faraway ftom the campus. 2, Childhood diabetes has many possible causes a. Obesity isa major cause of diabetes. _—— b- Childzen wino eat too much sugar can get diabetes. —— © Childven with diabetes need constant medical care 5 The best way to reduce traffic in our city isto build @ metro subway system. 2, ollation is very bad in our city, _— b. Widening the freeways has no solved the problem of traffic congestion. ____ & Armetro subway system would encourage people to take public ‘transportation to work 4. Lam afraid of dogs because I had a scary experience with one when Iwas ten a. There are many dogs inthe stets of my town. __— b. Iwas teasing the dog by moving its food. _— & The dog bit me 10. Unit 1 | Paragraph to Short Essay5. Scenic Beach is my favorite picnic spo because of its beauty. 4 tis a quiet, narraw beach covered with oyster shel. b. One time Thad an interesting experience there The Olympic Mountains rise straight up out ofthe water on the other side ofthe channel 6. Train stations ate interesting places to visit. 4. The architecture of each tran station is often connected tothe history ofaciy ’. The pessengers are frequently more interesting to watch than other types of travelers. «Trains ate a good alternative for people who are afaid of flying 7 Te world of dinosaurs very familiar to the general population. 4 Scientists believe that the birds of today are descended from dinosaurs _—— b. Every yeas, new movies and TV shows about dinosaurs are produced. _— €. Gilden study dinosaurs and play with dinosaur toys from an eady age Exercise 4 Editing for unity Read the paragraph. Draw a line theough the sentences that are irrelevant. The first one is done for you. Find three more. Hove to watch the pelicans in Gabon, | usally go inthe winter. The weather isnot wexm enough for swimming, so usualy do not seemany people on the beach: Palcons ore not elegant, but hey are interesting o watch. They remind me ofprhisloric itd from my school teslonok on dinosaur. | studied dinosaurs alot when | was young, and |.om very fond of hem. The pelicons have large groyish-brown wings thot bend sharply when they oe fing, and thie beaks are long, 50 their faces lack peculiar and old, My brother also realy likes pelicans. They care aso grace in their own way. A flock of pelicans wil ly along the coostine just outside the waves, and when they see «good fishing spo, they stop, hen turn, ond dive sraight down ino the water. Sometimes there isan oil rig or @ corgo ship in the water, too. Sometimes several pelicans wl fish nthe some spo fora while before moving dow the ‘beach and out of sigh. Writing Process Part 11Exercise 5 Developing unity Write two or three supporting sentences foreach ofthe following topic sentences. ‘Then exchange books witha partner and check your partner's sentences for unity. 1. Joining a sports team can provide many benefits, 2, My first day in my new school was full of surprises, 3. Atoad trip isthe best way to see the count |4. Many people do not realize that packing a suitcase requires skill and planning. Emmis Coherence in a Paragraph ‘Coherence in a paragraph means thatthe ideas have a logical flow: the relationship between the sentences is clear, and one idea connects to the next. One ‘way to achieve coherence in a paragraph is fo use a pattern of organization, such 2s time order, spatial order, or order of importance. To use time order, tell what happened fist, next, and lst. Spatial order is useful for describing items from top to hottom or from side to side. Paragraphs organized by order of importance might give the most important ideas first or leave them for las. 12 Unit | Paragon to Shor esayExercise 6 Reading a student paragraph Read the paragraph. How many rules does the writer give? Important Rules for Acting on Stage For people who would like to act inthe theater, there are several Jmportant rules to remember. One rule isto make sure you face your audience when you are on stage. Ifyou turn away from the audience, they cangot see your facial expressions. The next rule is that you must make sure that you speak Youdly enough, If your audience has difficulty hearing you, they will quickly lose intrest. Another important point is to memorize your lines. Rehearse them often—on the train, in the mierr, or while you are walking to class—so that you remember them. Pethaps the most important rule of all is to remain calm on stage if you forget your lines. Don't panic and stop speaking because the audience will notice. Instead, make up something to say until you remember your next line. As long 3s vou ‘continue speaking and appear relaxed, the audience will probably not realize that you have nade a mistake. In conclusion, following these rules will help censure a successful stage performance Exercise 7 Examining the student paragraph for coherence Examine the organization of the paragraph by responding tothe questions and statements below. Then compare your answers witha partner. 1. Underline the topic sentence 2. What should an actor do ihe forgets his lines? 3, The writer uses order of importance asa pattern of organization. Do the ideas inthe paragraph move from more important to less important or less important to more important? Wing Process Part2_ 13,Exercise 8 Reordering for coherence Read the sentences from a narrative paragraph. Some of the sentences arc out of ‘order. Number the sentences 1-10 to show logical time order. Then compare your answers with a partner. My family hugged me and cried because I had been gone so long, Lb. will never forget one day when Thad to travel alone on the subway. «. Twas sick and had to goto an appointment atthe hospital 4. When my appointment ended, I got on the subway to go home. That was why my surroundings looked unfamiliar My appointment was at 1:00 pam, Suddenly Tlooked up and did not know where Iwas. bh. Tas exhausted and fll asleep on my way home. 4. Then I realized that I had fallen asleep. Te took me five more hours to get back to my home. hha * learn about short essay structure and organization » practice writing a thesis statement. 14 unit 1 | Paragraph to Short EssayWriting Process Part 3 From Paragraph to Short Essay Prrebe k The Paragraph and the Short Essay [A short essay is longer than a paragraph but like a paragraph it has three basic parts an introduction, a body, and a conclusion Introduction ‘The introductory paragraph is the fest paragraph ofa short essay. Tt contains a {opie sentence and thesis statement. Body Paragraphs '* A short essay has atleast one or two body paragraphs. These develop the idea pretented in the introduction, onek ‘The concading paragraph isthe final paragraph, I summarizes the idea(e) presented in the shor essay. (Compate the similar ways that a paragraph and a shor essay fanction, Paragraph Short Essay ‘The tpicsentence states. —__The introdvctory paragraph the topic: states the topic. The topic sentence states the —> The thesis statement states the controlling idea ‘The supporting sentences of the paragraph support the ‘dea in the topie sentence. ‘The concluding sentence ‘summarizes the ida inthe topic sentence. the controlling dea. ‘The body paragraphs support the idea inthe thesis statement ach body paragraph has atopic sentence ‘The essay conclusion summaries the idea inthe thesis statement Weting Process Part 315Exercise 1 Comparing a paragraph and an essay Read the paragraph and then the short essay. Which is more interesting? Paragraph Short Essay My uncle Patricio is one of My familys fall oFbapoy, —_[ nwodction the mostieresing people in crazy, and tented people My ae ry fail Hes ld an as Marga has yard flo gorgeous ‘vine face nis wallet he ans. My broterfosé s an expert carries a small piece of ape that and my motroves to ‘says “Remember me.” Patricio has experiment in the kitchen, However, an inguing history, He and my Tthkeere teing sty other were bom in smal vlogs tyserious unl Pati. ‘nthe mountains, When he was 17, Patricio is an elderly man wit [body ‘he left home to explore the world. ‘white hair sticking up all over his “| Par9sraph * [Now he fxs ai conditioners im head Beneath his mesy ba he bas os Angeles and doring the winter wrinkled brow f= and powerfl ‘months, be sometimes comes © dark yes hat show many emotions. ‘sits nd play the accordion PPatico stall snd skinny, and he oe spending te with my ‘wears bagey pants nd pai his uncle Patricio because he has an In his wallet he cares smal pace interesting look and 2 mysterious cof paper. Written onthe piece of past Someday, Thope tht he will paper are the words “Remember {ell me more abou his if. tie” He as never told me who ‘oe or who i from Patio has a igting igor. He and my moter were | oe 2 tom in a small vilag in the mountains. When he was 17, he left home to explore the world. On one tip, he went Siberia o ook for gold On abe tp, Be went ts Alsen wort ona fiking bot Now he fies icone in Los Angles, and drag te winter mons he sometimes comes to. {ist us ad play the eocorioa, Tlove spending time with a1 my uncle Patricio. He as an Incresing look ands and rystrious past He i also a taeted musician, Someday, hope tht be wil ell ime te sory of te peceoF ie eel wi wr terenembered 16 Unit 1 | Paragraph to Short EssayExercise 2 Examining the paragraph and short essay Examine the paragraph and short essay by esponding to the questions and statements below, Compare your answers with a partner, 1. What information s included i the shor exsy introduction that isnot in the topic sentence ofthe paragraph? 2, Citele the topic and controlling idea of ody paragrapa in the essay. 5, What new details have been added to body paragraph 1 in the essay? 4, Ciel the topic and controlling idea of body paragraph 2in the essay 5, What additional details have been added to body paragraph 2 in the esay? 6. What information is nciade inthe essay conclusion tht is notin the concluding sentence of the paragraph? | Rhetorical Focus (.°} Short Essay Organization ‘An effective essay must have the following elements Introduction ‘A hook san opening Sentence that tracts the reader tention The sentences after the hook gve background information thet helps the reader understand the topic +The last sentence in the introduction, the thesis statement, is very important because it ives theropi and the controlling idea ofthe entire esa. Body Paragraphs ‘An essay ha at least one body paragraph in which the writer develop the thesis statement fom the introduction. The body parsgraph begins with topic sentence, followed by supporting deta Conclusion. + An esay ends with conchsion that summarizes oF restates the main idea in the thesis statement “Wiking Process Part 317Exercise 3 Understanding thesis statements ‘A. Read the short essay. The thesis statement is missing, Choose the best thesis statement from the lst following the essay. Discuss your choice wi a partner. Imagine having a job that fits your class schedule, You do not have conflicts with studying because you only work at night and on the ‘weekends. In addition, you can work in a beautiful room with paintings oon the walls, candlelight, and soothing music playing in the background, First, restaurant work isa great job for fulltime students because the hours are different. Most restaurants are husiest during the weekends or inthe evenings. Since students have to go to class during the week and during the day, a restaurant jobis an excellent option that gives students ‘time for class. ‘The second reason why restaurant work suits students is that students can eat at the restaurant. Most students are short on time. They don’t have time to go shopping, cook, and clean up, so they need to get meals ina hurry. ttis perfect if they can eat at work. ‘Students can make money, ea, and stil have time for clas if they work in 1 restaurant. For this reason, many restaurants are staffed by students, I's a ‘great job for those who need to work while they are in college a. Arestaurant job isa convenient choice fora college student for several reasons, bb. Many restaurants hie college stodens. «& Acollege student can make alot of money waking in an expensive restaurant 18 Unit 1 | Paragraph to Short Esay', Now read this short essay. The thesis statement is missing, Write a thesis statement on the lines provided. Make sure your thesis states topic and ‘controlling idea, Compare your answer witha partner. | have many wonderful memories of my childhood in El Salvador, but | have one memory that sill makes me shiver when I think about it. lived with my grandmother in a house in he country, and | had many «cousins to play with. The neighbors all new me, and we children olvays fot soe, a My scary experience happened when | was abeut fen. Iwas playing hide-and-seek with some children from the neighborhood when my cousin and | discovered « dork abandoned warehouse. We were happy because we thought that no one would find us there. We went inside There were boxes, and everything was covered with dust. Suddenly my cousin ren away. | thought she wos hiding, so | laughed and celled her name, but she did not answer: | started to hide, too, but ot that moment, | smelled tersble cdr. looked inthe corer, and a big shope wes moving. It was dark, and couldn't see very well ut I knew it was big. | 1n ouside. My cousin was ouside, ond we ran back to our house os fost 0s we could | sill do not know what was in the worehause, My grandmother said she though! some thieves had been hiding there. She said it was a good thing that hey did't see me. Her words made me more ofaid. | thought, “What if they had caught me2" After tha, I decided to stay away from thot dark warehouse. | learned to be very coreful and never go ino empty buildings again, no matter what! eee + learn about simple and compound sentences + lean how to correct run-on sentences. + learn about main and dependent clavses. Wing Process Part 3-19Writing Process Part 4 _éditing Your Writing Editing involves making changes to your writing to improve it and to correct mistakes. Ere cher knee ee The Sentence ‘A sentence contains at least one subject (a noun or a phrase) and a verb, and it ‘expresses a complete idea. The verb expresses the action ofthe sentence, and the subject tells who or what completed the action. A simple sentence may contain ‘more than one noun or verb. c=) The dog runs. ‘The dog runs and chases squirels, (two verbs) “The dog and cat run after squiels. (two nouns in subject) ‘A complete sentence must contain at least one main clause. A main clause contains a subject and a verb, and it expresses a complete idea cca eas cai are Cai] Cee] ima ait ‘The Compound Sentence ‘A compound sentence has two main clauses, separated by acomma and a conjunction, or by 2 semicolon. i Tee Sees «ha foamhn teres ge econ sy ee peugeene Teena os sy au ce (maine 20 unit 1 | Paragraph to Short EssayExercise 1 Identifying clauses Read the sentences, Then circle the number of clauses contained in each sentence, 1 The fh were ng. © 2. The ih werehangy andthe the od quickly 3. Tove to go tothe pts yt go every weekend 1 4 Thebus kes alongtine.buitiskessenpesvetan aca. 1 5. Computersareverympetnt day hey can do many ings. 6. My ther isaman with od eduction nd an hoes characte, 1 Perec ke sr kee Run-on Sentences ‘A run-on sentence is nota correct sentence. In a run-on sentence, important punctuation is missing between the clauses, The sentence “runs on” too long and confuses the reader You can corect ran-on sentences with a period, a comma and conjunction, ora semicolon. 2X. The dog runs fat it likes to.chase animals in the park. (connect) The dog uns fast. tikes to chase animals inthe park. The dog runs fast and i kes to chase animals in the park. 2 My kttle brother is ificut to take care of stil love him very much, (cor) My litle brother is difcut to take care of; stil | love him very much, My lite brother means a lot to mes he is my best friend, Exercise 2 Correcting run-on sentences with conjunctions ‘The following sentences are run-on sentences, Rewrite them as complete sentences by adding the conjunctions and, or, s, or but. 1. 1am busy with work Iam studying, Lam busy with work, ar Lam studying. [Almost everyone in her neighborhood speaks her language she does not have to use English 3. Credit cards are convenient they are also dangerous. _ Witing Process Part & 244 [did not have experience I tried to get job. 5. Every time I travel, either I take a suitcase I take a backpack, 6. My favorite flower is arose my favorite color sre. Dependent Clauses ‘Adependent clause is a clause that is nota complete sentence by itself. It has ‘subject and a ver, bur it doesnot have a complete idea. A dependent clause ‘often stars with a subordinating conjunction like because, before, since, when, afer, or while. A dependent clause must always be attached toa main (or independent) clause to make one complete sentence. The dependent clause can come before or after the main clause without changing the meaning, but the punctuation is differen. [dependent dave | [iin douse | ‘Wher I talk to my friend, she kes to tell me about her acbentures, rman ase | [dependent dase ‘My friend likes to tell me about her adventures when I talk to her. Exercise 3 Identifying dependent and main clauses ‘Underline and label the ceuses, Write M above the main cause in each sentence. ‘Write D above the dependent clause. 1, When Lat growing up, everthing was es expensive. 2. 1 guess things have changed since was younger, vas sad when we lft ay country. ‘When Lam older, I want to have abig house with patio anda swimming poo ‘Aer you understand the meaning ofa word, you can use the word in sentences tis only dangerous when the roads are we. Because the tide went out, the jellyfish were stranded on the beac. 8. My country was invaded many times before we formed our current government 22. unit + | Paragraph to shot sayExercise 4 Correcting run-on sentences with punctuation Read the sentences. Ifthe sentence is correc, write C. Ifthe sentence is incorrect, write Fand add correct punctuation, using a comma, semicolon, or period. (Check for proper capt tion. We LLL Iwen tothe store with my fend Recel, we Bought ik 2. Webrough the groceries through the back door after we gt back 5 I noticed that there was ite det on the floor the DVD player was nissing nothing ese was gone 4 Wecalled the plc after we realized there had bee a robbery. 5. Thepoice arrived immediatly and inspected the whol partment 6. They toostatements ater that afternoon they found the robbers and Rachels DVD player. Exercise 5 Editing a paragraph Read the paragraph and edit as necessary. There are five more run-on sentences, but lam the middle child in my foil wish I were not sometimes. My brother ond sisters have an easier ife han | do. My older brother i very responsible he is like o third parent my sisters ond | have to do what he ell us four pares ore not home. He ako has more freedom thon we do, He «an go out on the weekends and stay ou late we have fo be ot home by 10:00 pm. While my brother has more Freedom than Id, my sisters have on easier ile, They are wins, they get «lo of anton from our parent My parents dont often spend ime with me they spend mos ol heir me wih my sisters. Because | om not the oldest, | do not have the some power 1 my brofer, bu | do not get he extra atenion eer. As result | wish were the oldest or the youngest child rather than the midale child Sm + review tops and contrlling ideas «+ practice editing a paragraph for unity, + practice identifying thesis statements + practice correcting run-on sentences Witing Process Part & 23,Exercise 4 Correcting run-on sentences with punctuation ‘Read the sentences. Ifthe sentence is cortect, write C. Ifthe sentence is incorrect, and add correct punctuation, using a comma, semicolon, oF period. Check {for proper capitalization. 1, My father decided to go to dental school he was a the top of his class 2 My writing has improved a geeat deal but [till need to work on my spelling and grammar 3. When Tam an industrial engineer I want (o design kitchen appliances. 4. Administrative assistants playa very important role in an office; without them many businesses could not function, 5. Thave never been afraid of snakes I think they are beautifl _.6, Welived in Malaysia after we got martied, Exercise 5 Editing a paragraph Read the paragraph and edit as necessary. There ace six run-on sentences, and one :istake in punctuation between main clauses. The memory of summer vacations at my grandmather’ home in ‘Ayutlo, Thailand, chvays makes me happy. loved this house very much because it wos « beautiful and spacious ploce oll the members of my forily could gather fogether and enjoy notre. The house was located on a quiet strech of river under © clear ble sky twas a rational woterfront, Thai-style home it was bul from leak wood. The tal, green ‘rees around the house provided shode along the riverbank. Inside the house, there were many rooms my uncle’ and my aunts foie could all come together atthe same time. When we woke up, we could hear the sound of singing birch We children always rushed outside o breathe fresh oir nd dig our tes into the sand. In the ffernaon, we played in the shade of he tres, wom inthe river; and dug inthe gardens. The cedults wotched us from the patio they could see us and we could soe them. This home was the center place of my family Ike to think about it ‘when | eel lonely 26 Unit 1 | Paragraph to Short EssayDescriptive Essays Os: Unit Goals Rhetorical Focus us descriptive organization Language and Grammar Focus prepositional phrases in descriptive writing detais in sentences siiles and smile structure atectives in descriptive writingWriting Process Step 1 Stimulating Ideas Descriptive writing uses words to build images for the reader, These images may come from sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or even feelings. Good descriptive writing ‘makes the reader fel as if he nr she is present in the scene, Thinking abaut the topic ‘A. Discuss the picture with a partner + Where do you think this place is? Imagine that you were inthis place What do you see around you? What do you hear? What do you smell? Imagine that you could taste one of he fruits. What does it taste like? Does this ook ike a place you would like to shop, or would you prefer to get Describe some ofthe places people buy their feuits and vegetables, BB, Make notes about a favorite place where you like to get a specific food. It could bbe market, a tree near your house, a restaurant, or another place. Think about the sights, sounds, and feelings oF the place. Then discuss in small groups 28 Unit 2 | Descriptive Essays,Exercise 2 Reading about the topic Sometimes one particular experience can create a memory that stays with us for ‘many years The following reading describes Esmeralda Santiago's memories of the guavas she ate asa chil How to Eat a Guava There ae guava atthe Shop & Save. | pck one the size ofa tennis balan finger the icky stem end 1 fees fairly bumpy ae fm The guava snot quite ripe; the skin i still ark green, | sme and imagine a pale pink center, the seeds tightly embedded inthe flesh. ‘ripe quaa is yellow although sore varieties have a pink tng. The skins thick fi, 2nd sweet Its hearts Bright pink and almost slid with seeds. The most delicious part ofthe guava Surounds the tiny see, you don't Kno how To eat 2 guava tre sends end up in the crevices Detween your teeth ‘When you bit into ripe uve, your teeth must tip the bumpy surface and sink into the ‘thick ede skin without iting the center It takes experience to do ths, as is gute Wicky to Pye — ‘types — Ce ang wt ee <3, ee \ Grenas acai) ~~" eesng > \ er to o> > a el Cassne > Caan canna Exercise 2 Identifying audience and purpose Before you write, think about who will read your essay and what you want your readers to lear from the essay. Answer the following questions ona separate piece of paper. 1, Who will read your essay! 2. What type of relationship do you have with your readers? 3 What do you want your readers to learn fom reading your essay? 4, What will youreaders expect to rea in your essay? 32 Unit 2 | Descriptive EssaysExercise 3 Brainstorming vocabulary A. Think about the food you want to write about. Add two more words teach set to describe the food. Then circle the words you would like to use. 1. Tas salty, sour bitter, sweet, juicy, — 2, Touch: soft hard, chev, tough, crunchy, a 3. Smell: sweet, comforting, sharp strong, faint, 4. Sight: small big, tempting, smooth, . B, Practice using these words in sentences. Use your dictionary for help. Ei Descriptive Organization Ina descriptive esay, a witer uses details to tell how a subject look, sounds, smell, tases, or fel. The essay should make the reader fel ike responding to what he or shes reading Introduction ‘The hook introduces the object cr event in the description and gets the reader atention ‘+The midale sentences provide the brckground ‘The thesis statement tells why the objet described is important othe write. Body Paragraphs ‘Mot ofthe description isin the body pargraphs. ‘Adjectives and adverbs make the experience mare vivid ‘The scene i offen described with prepositions and prepositional phrases that specify location or position in space * Comparisons, such as similes, cn make the writing more descriptive, fiir, and expressive Conclusion ‘The conclusion gives the writer’ inl opinion about the item described, Witing Process Step2 33,Exercise 4 Reading a student essay Read the essay. According tothe writer, where can you get the best pizza? ‘he Best Pizza in Town and Maybe the World Ihave suffered a great deal because ofa terrible addiction to pizza Basically enjoy pizza too much. In fact, I enjoy itso much that I ‘won't share it, not even with my mother, People often think of pizza as junk food, but because you can pat almost anything on a pizza, you can ‘make ic quite healthy if you want. People in my hometown of Cabimas, ‘Venezuela, laugh at me and call me the Pizza King of Cabimas. Actully itis a name that Iam proud of. I have eaten pizza in many places, and hones as good asthe pizza of Cabimas. The test place to eat pizza in Cabimas is at Papas, Customers have to wait inline to gota table, but the wait is wort it. Onee they are seated, pizza-ovars can choose from many varieties of pizza, such as pizza with shrimp ar smoked aysters or pizza with pine nuts and garlic ‘but my favorit is the saesage and pepperoni. First of all, itis big, When the waiter puts it down in front of me, [feel happy because Iwill get ‘enough to eat. It smells of gai, ol, and spices. And it looks delicious, ‘00, The sauce 002es out from under a layer of rich melted cheese. ‘The best partis the frst bite, I sink my teeth into a slightly crunchy ‘nus, tick tomato sauce, and gooey cheese. and Iam in heaven. I ean cat two of these pizzas in one night even though I know I will have a stomachache afterwards Now that am in the United States, Iam trying diferent kinds of pizzas here. [have never seen so many different pizza restaurants! I want to try them one by one. So far, some of them are delicious, but am ‘convinced thatthe best piza inthe world is stil at Papa's restaurant, a conple of locks from the house where I grew up. 34 Unit 2 | Desipve sysExercise 5 Examining the student essay A. Examine the essay by responding to the questions and statements below. 1, What is surprising in the writer’ hook? ‘What is the main idea ofthe intradaction? 2 ow the writer has suffered 'b, where to get the best piaza «the writer’ addictonr AL. the writes homebown How do the descptive details help you understand what is special about Papas pizza? 4. The conclusion ends with afn)— 2 description ofthe peza served at Papa’ », restatement ofthe main idea inthe introduction. story about one vst oa ptza restaurant, A. inwitation to eat pizza 'B, Examine the writer's probable audience and purpose by selecting the correct answers below. Then compare your answers with a partner. ‘The purpose of this essay is to— a, explain a past work experience. ». show how much the writer likes pizza, . show the superiority of Papas pizza 2, Who might be most interested in tis essay? 4. an employer in Cabimas ba tourist visting Cabimas «someone looking for ajo in Cabimas Exercise 6 Completing an outline To help you understand the organization of descriptive essays, use the essay about pizza to fill inthe missing information in the outline below. Introduction ‘Tople: Pizza in Cabimas. Hook: ny addicted to pisza, Wting Process Step 2 35,Background Information: dowt share pizza with anyone, called the Pizza King tried plzza in many places ‘Thesis Statement: 1 Body Paragraph Details: places to eat pizza, Papa’, types of pizza 2, _ ‘Words or Phrases: g00ey, cheesy, rich melted cheese, stomachachs, bia ‘spices crunchy crust — Conclusion Final Opinion: 5 Exercise 7 Writing an outline ‘Throughout this book you will vse outlining to help you plan the essays you will ‘write, You can think of an outline like a map. It tells you where you are going with ‘your thesis, and it organizes the ideas you will use to get your point across. ‘Writing your ideas on paper belore you start to write a draft wil help you ‘organize and focus your essay, Also it wll free you to develop each idea without being afraid that you will forget the idea that comes next. (On the Web you will find an outline template for Unit 2. Print it out and use it to plan your essay about a food you enjoy. iets + learn about prepositional phrases. + learn to use descriptive detallsin your iting, + learn about simile ir descriptive writing “+ wtte a fist draft of your descriptive essay 36 unit 2 | Desspine EssysDre eB eee sk MTS OR CA Exercise 1 Reading a student essay Read the essay. What main event does the writer describe? Food from the Sea [My father told me that we should always respect nature and learn ‘where our food comes from. He said that food tastes better when you ‘get it yourself and eat it in a natural place. To show me this was true, my father took me to the ocean, where we caught our own delicious crabs and ate them. | will always remember the taste of the crabs we caught that day ‘The beach was quiet and stil at six o'clock. The tide had just come in, 50 there were many crabs walking slowly on the white sand. We sat a few feet away from my fathers special crab traps. The traps were made lf bamboo, and they looked like round cages, but one side had 2 small entrance for the crab to go in. There were some small, fragrant fishin the trap. The fshy smell made the crabs hungry, so they crawled into the traps. We watched the crabs walk into the traps, and I smelled the strong smell of the dark, oily fish, Overhead, we heard the sounds of seagulls and pelicans in the sky. think the seagulls wanted to eat the fish, 0. Once the traps were full, we took off our shoes and threw ‘them over our shoulders so we could walk on the wet sand and feel the water pushing and pulling at the beack. Later, we built afire and ate boiled crabs on the beach, We cracked their shells. The meat was white and pinkish and tender. I tasted sweet and alittle salty. We did not ‘want to stop eating crab, We sat on the sand surrounded by crab shells and watched the sun go down into the ocean, From that day on, | knew my father was right. Food tastes best when itis something that you have caught or grown yourselt. have eaten crab) ‘many times since then, but it has never tasted as good ast did that day Writing Process Step3. 37Exercise 2 Examining the student essay Examine the essay by answering the following questions. 1. What does the place described inthe essay look like? 2. How does the writer fel about the experience? 3, What sounds, sights, smells, o tastes are described? 44. What final pinion does the writer give i the conclusion? Pie Prepositional Phrases in Descriptive Writing A prepositional phrase is made up of a preposition + a noun phrase or pronour. prepositional pease [Frepeitonal phrase] The boat slowly sank with the water level unt it rested on the bay floor. Prepositioal phrases ate important in descriptive writing. They show the position, location, or direction of objects in space and time. We can aso use prepositional phrases to show manner or attitude, Prepositional phrases show position and location. ‘On the right, there were many kinds of cheeses arranged in rows. repositional phrases show direction. ‘We took the boat out am the water. Te idea was to carry the food across the street, repostional phrases show time {six in the morning in that sweet moment on Thursday Prepositiona phrases show manner or feeling. \We waited in anticipation, He looked with interest. 36 Unit2 | Descpive EssaysExercise 3 Using prepositional phrases A. Complete the sentences below using a prepositional phrase to add more detail Use the questions in pasentheses to guide you. 1, Yesterday at 3 olciocs ‘took my sister to the new market near our house. (What time?) 2. We watched asthe sller arsanged the frult (How did you fee) 3 rows of ripe fruit stretched out, as fr as the eye could see. (10 what dicection?) 4. ___fru-seers arranged fresh fish and shellfish. (Where?) 5, Some of the best bargains can be had when sellers lower ther prices to sll what won't keep until the nextday. (When?) 6. Once we made our purchases, we headed_____fora iene in the warm sunshine. (Where?) B. Look back atthe student essay on page 37. Underline the prepositional phrases ‘Compare your answers witha partner. Ea ‘Adding Details to Sentences Details tell what something looks lke, or how it sounds, fels, tastes, or smell ‘We can use nouns, adjectives, adverbs, and verbs to add details. The more specific the details are, the more effective and interesting the writing willbe, Gear, specific details allow the reader to create a picture in his or her mind of| ‘what is being described. Compare the general sentences below with ones that Ihave specific details, General Sentences Sentences with Specific Details The crabs were good. ‘The crabs were tender and sweet with a salty taste He bought some frit He bought some sweet, juicy strawberries She walked to the door _She tiptoed to the door She walked t0 the door She walked quickly and silently to the door. Weng Process Step 3 39Exercise 4 Adding specific det Rewrite the general sentences below with more specific details. Use adjectives, nouns, verbs, and adverbs. General With Specific Details 1, He bought a vegetable, He boush.some briaht areen spinach, 2. We returned from the store 3. Lentered the room, 4, My friend cleaned the spinach, 5. We put the spinach in th pan. 6. Our guests enjoyed the dinner. PET kee Similes Descriptive writing may use similes to make something seem more familiar or more creative, Similes make ideas easier to understand, and they can also express feelings, Similes are often used in literature and peetry. Look atthe famous examples below: The sun was like a glowing bal of fie. —Shakespeare | mas young and easy... and happy asthe grais was green. ‘Oyian Thomas My love i ikea red, red rose ‘Robert Burns Simile Structure {A simile can use the preposition like + noun or noun phrase. diamond necklace. [A simile can also uses... + noun or noun phrase. This kind of simile also uses an adjective He is as clever as a fox The gis har was as wet as noodles in a bowl af soup. 40 Unit 2 { descipive sapExercise 5 Understanding similes Reread the example similes on page 40. Then answer the following questions. Discuss your answers with a partner. 1 2 3 Exercise 6 Identifying si iow does Shakespeare's simile help you picture what the sun looked like? ‘Why would Thomas compare green grass to being young, €38} and happy? ‘Why does Burns compare love with a red rose? ‘Match the frst half af each sentence with the second half, £1. The house a. smelled sweet lke honey. 2. The ocean bis as solid as a rock, 3. The col wind 6: spares ike a diamond, 4. Theie friendship was as fasta bullet. 5. The teain ct sharply ike a ke 6 The sir was as huge asa caste Exercise 7 Writing similes ‘Complete the sentences to make your own similes with like or a. 1 2 3 “The place where I grew up is aslhat as.an oven, The cake i My favorite meses Cofee is _ TV cooking shows are ting Process Step 3.41Review your outline. Then write the frst draft of a descriptive essay on a food you strongly like or dislike. Go to the Web to use the Online Writing Tutor, Exercise 9 Peer editing a first draft A. After writing a first draft, itis helpful to get feedback on your ideas. Exchange ‘essays with two other people. Fr each essay you read, answer the Peer Editor's Questions on a separate piece of paper. Then discuss your responses, Peer Editor's Questions. oe 1 What is your favorite part of the essay? Do you have any questions for the iter? Why is the food important to the writer? ‘As you read, can you imagine how the food looks, fels, tastes, and smels? 5. Where does the essay need more details? 6. What is the writers opinion ofthe food? Go to the Web to print out a peer editor's worksheet. B. Review your feedback and the organization guidelines on page 33. Make ‘notes for your revision. In tis tep, you may add, remove, or rewrite Information to clarify your oie + learn about the use and formation of adjectives. + learn about adjective order. + learn how to describe feelings + edit your fst draft and write afnal draft 42 Unit 2 | DescintiveEsaysWriting Process Step 4 Editing Your Writing Now that you have written a first draft itis time to edit Editing involves ‘making changes to your writing to improve it and to correct mistakes Petter cee kona Using Adjectives in Descriptive Writing Adjectives are words that desribe nouns: people, places, and things. Adjectives appear indifferent postions inthe sentence, Adjectives usually come after an article and tefore a noun. \We satin the roasting sun Adjectives can also occur afte some stative verbs such as appear, be, become, fed, Took o sem, | was hungry. He became thoughtful. ‘Use and to separate two adjectives that follow a verb He was sick and tired, Separate more than two adjectives with commas and the word and \We were excited, nervous, and anxious. Exercise 1 Identifying adjectives Read the following sentences. Cicle the adjectives and underline the nouns they deseribe. 1. The beach was et and sil) 2. Many crabs were walking slowly on the white sand. 3. The traps looked like round cages. 4 There were some smal fragrant fish inthe trap. ‘5 The fishy smell made the crabs hungry. 6. [smelled the strong smel ofthe das ily fs 7 The meat was white, pinkish, and tender. , Tetasted sweet, Witing Proces Step 4 4PEE ore ke ee Formation of Adjectives somene Adjectives may be formed fom verbs, Many ofthese adjectives are formed by adding «ng to verbs, entertain. entertaining excite exciting arentertaning film) {an exciting novel The past participles of verbs can fonction as adjectives. break broken excite excited (a broken arm) fan excited child) [Nouns may also function as adjectives when they are used to describe or modify ‘other nouns. They ae called noun modifiers, A store that slls shoes — a shoe store Exercise 2 Formation of adjectives Circle the adjective. Write the verb or noun form af the adjctve i the blank at the end of the sentence. 1. After lune, we went to the Gr'stand, ful. 2. Tha frightening story 5 Blending foods together can cause interesting favors to emerge. —_—_ 4, In the pasta refigerator was sometimes called an ice box. etek _ Describing Feelings Some adjectives ending in -ed and -ing can be used to talk about felings and «emotions for example, intresting. interested, boring, Bored, confusing, covfised The adjectives ending in -d (past participles) describe how people fel about something The interested students stened tothe stony & The students fet interest) The confused tourists did not know where 10 go. (= The tourists felt confusion.) ‘The adjectives ending in ing describe the noun that causes the emotion or feeling. The students heard an interesting story (= The story caused interest) ‘The mavie had @ confusing plot (= The plot caused confusion) 44 Unit 2 | Descriptive EssaysExercise 3 Describing feelings Citce the correct adjective in each sentence 1. The movie was er (bored Baring) 2. The audience was very (confused confusing) by the soy. 4. Asastuden, ound the class very Gtersted/neresting). 4, The speaker was vr exited / exciting by the tpi. 5. The children wee ire rng bythe game Order of Adjectives Aajectives appear ina particular order according to their function interesing huge od round the -Mexan wooden pene boing» small nen square white Eurpean ron wedding \We put huge plates of Mexican food out on the wooden picnic table My mother had a beautiful, small, antique, Tahitian pearl necklace that she wore for special accasions. Rosa and Pablo bought gold wedding rings. Exercise 4 Using adjectives in the carrect order A. Write Cifthe adjectives are in the correct order, Write if they are not C_ 1, The museum hada fantastic new sculpture outside 2. They walked dowo the marble old giant staircase. 5. The restaurant had entrance wooden doors 4. Thece were bright ble lights to mark the entrance, 5, ‘There was anew small able inthe corner BB. Add two adjectives foreach ofthe sentences. 1 twasa_fast car 2 They lived in a house 3. The house was located on . street. 4. She enjoyed the dinner Witing Process Step 445Exercise 5 Building vocabulary with adjectives rlea more specific adjective to replace the underlined word, The food tasted good. @xquisitey obscure / uninteresting) Good nutrition s important fora child's growth (ephemeral unimportant fundamental) The vegetables that had been stored too long were bad. intense | brilliant / spoiled) Farming is always a dificult industry; wether can ca (ndemanding/ risky / frequent) eeees ly ein an entre year’s crop. 5. Ttis nie to se the innovations that have been made to the science of weather prediction. (unreliable challenging facinating) Exercise 6 Editing a paragraph Read the paragraph and edit as necessary. There are six more mistakes in adjective order. Everyone in my amily gothers for dinner every Saturday igh, ll my sisters and brothers ond their hile ison mportan! family nan, My husband! an eave a wo inthe aferncon, and lke the devang to-my paren’ hous. They lie ona narrow dt sd. In summer we have to close the windows fo theca so tha he dst does come in. My porans fv ina large, wooden, white hove, witha red, od, big door. There isa Kthen spacious where everyone helps prepare the dnt. The thing lve the most about the house is walking into the ding room ot we finish preprin he dinner, The old, beouul ables st wih a lace vite ableoth and round, huge plates of food. Then everyone sts down in he big, comforoble chars enjoy the dinner. We tak ond eat for hours and enjoy ov Family. Everyone feels happy, relaxed, and Sl Late orig, we finally say goodbye unl he next Sarde 46 unit? | Desiptive essExercise 7 E ing your first draft and rewriting Review your essay for mistakes, Use the checklist below. Then write a final daft. Go to the Web to use the Online Writing Tutor. @ __| Editor's Checklist Put a check (/) as appropriate. CONTENT AND ORGANIZATION (© 1. Does your introduction include a hook to get your readers’ attention? (© 2. Do you provide background information? (© 3. Do your body paragraphs provide enough details to help your readers picture, fel, taste, and small the food you are describing? (0.4. bid you use simies conectly to make your writing more descriptive? ©'5. Does your conclusion clearly communicate your opinion of the food you describe? LaNGuace Q 6. Did you use adjectives after articles and before nouns? © 7, Did youuse adjectives immediatly afte stative verbs? OB. Ifa sentence has more than one adjective, do the adjectives appear in the correct order? ©. Did you use prepositional phrases to show location and time? Go to the Web to print out a peer editor's worksheet. a += review the use of prepositional phrases. = practice using adjectives in descriptive writing, Witing Process Step 447