PAGES OF HEAL

Written by: Mah Izzati Mashitah binti Mah Sinwanni

"Pages of Heal" crafts a narrative around Noah, a young man marked by traumatic experience
that have rendered him hesitant to forge connections and trust others. One fateful day, his
path crosses with Leah, a bright and literature-loving woman, in the very café where he
usually spends time with his friends, Theodore and Finley.

Noah finds solace in Leah's presence, her cheerful demeanour bringing a welcome change to
his routine. However, fate takes a different turn as his past trauma resurfaces, leading him
back into the cocoon of his former self. As Leah becomes privy to Noah's history, she makes
it her mission to offer him support in whatever way she can.

The story unfolds as Noah grapples with his own emotions and past. Will he open himself up
to Leah's genuine concern and assistance, allowing her to breach the barriers he has erected?
Or will he opt to remain within the confines of his comfort zone, retreating from the potential
for healing and connection that Leah brings?

Notes: Mentioned of s*xual assault and sensitive topics.

 PAGES OF HEAL

The sound of people talking, and the smell of pastry made Noah’s stomach rumble. He
looked at the outside and sighed. ‘Where are they? I have waited for almost fifteen minutes
already.’ Noah thought as he stirred his drinks. He was sitting in a secluded place in the café
while waiting for his friends to come. They promised to hang out together at their favourite
place which is Midnight Mocha.

The café was painted with various colours of green and a splash of brown to give the aura of
nature and it made Noah feel calm. After a few minutes, Noah’s friends made him startled
when they suddenly touched his shoulder. His friend, Theodore was grinning while Finley
was smiling shyly.

Noah pouted. “You said meet at 3 and look what time it is now? Does it look like 3 now?”
Noah said while stared at them.

“We are 15 minutes late. It’s not that late and it’s still 3?” Theodore said while smiling
sheepishly.

Noah rolled his eyes and told them to order the food. While they were chatting, a cheerful
voice greeted them.

“Hi! Fancy to meet you here, Finley.” A woman said while waving her hand. Finley looked
up and smiled.

“Hey! Are you here alone?” Finley said while looking around. She nodded and looked at
Noah and Theodore.

“Hi, I’m Leah. Finley’s course mate!” Leah said while waving her hand. Noah nodded and
Theodore smiled, “I don’t know that Fins have beauty as a friend. You can call me Theo, and
this is Noah.” Theodore said as his hand patted Noah’s shoulder.

“Come join us if you’re not busy, Leah.” Finley said and gave a space for Leah to sit down.

“I will take that offer if you guys are okay with it.” Leah smiled when they nodded and made
a gesture for her to sit down.

Time passed by and they got to know each other. They found out that Leah and Noah have
the same hobbies which is reading. Theodore and Finley were smiling all the time when they
saw Noah was having fun talking with Leah about books and authors they were fond of.
Leah’s phone rings and they all stop chatting. Leah looked at her phone and was shocked that
so much time had passed when they were chatting.

“I didn’t realise that 2 hours had already passed. Sorry, guys. I have a plan with my friend at
the mall, so I need to go now. Thank you for having me and sorry if I take your time. I do
love to spend time with you guys again if we have another chance.” Leah winked and bid her
goodbye.

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Right after Leah can’t be seen, Finley and Theodore grinned widely at Noah. They were
ready to tease Noah. “Looks like our soldier has more fun than when he was with us…”
Theodore said while raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t that right, Sir Fin?”

“Yes, sir. It seems like he forgot that we are here, sir.” Finley talked and laughed. “Did you
have fun? Want me to give you her contact?” said Finley while poking Noah’s side.

“It’s okay. She deserves better.” Noah said and quickly changed the topic.

THREE DAYS AFTER, AT THE NIGHT OWL BOOK STORE

Noah was looking for a new comic for his collection when he came across Leah who
crouched down with two books in her left hand. “Looking for a new book?” asked Noah.

“Noah! What are you doing here?” Leah asked and got up. “Yeah. I’m looking at a comic
from Spoon. I love their art styles and I’m currently collecting the ‘Who Made Me A
Princess’ series. How about you? What are you looking for?” said Leah while looking at
Noah.

“Remember the Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint web novel I talked about that day? I heard
that they released the comic version of this web novel. So, I want to put it in my collection,”
said Noah while averting his eyes.

“Oh my God, really? Then let me help you look for it.” Leah hummed and looked at the
bookshelves.

“It’s okay. I can do it –,“ “No… no… no… Two heads are better than one head, right?” Leah
cut Noah’s word and continued searching the book. While looking for their book, they talked
and got to know each other more. They exchanged contact information after both of them
paid their things.

Since that day, they would set time to meet at the book café, Earth ism or Midnight Mocha,
the café where they met for the first time. They would recommend their favourite books and
exchange their books, or they would just enjoy the presence of each other while reading.

AT THE MIDNIGHT MOCHA

“I think… I’m okay now.” Noah said while looking at Theodore and Finley. They both
looked at each other before dumbfounded with Noah’s statement.

“Okay with what?” asked Finley while sipping his cold milk tea. He was curious about what
Noah talked about. Theodore nodded his head to show that he agreed with Finley. To be
honest, he also wondered why Noah started to seek them less than usual. Noah bit his lips and
played with his hand.

“What… Is this about Finley’s friend, Leah?” said Theodore.

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“As if. They met like –,“ Finley didn’t continue when he saw Noah’s ear turned red. “You
met her?! No way!! How… When… Why didn't you say anything to us? Does it mean she is
also the reason why you didn’t seek us?!” Finley acted dramatically like a father knew his
daughter had a boyfriend.

“Way to go, man. Our son has already become a man.” Theodore wiped his fake tears.

“Oh, God. Stop it. It’s not like that! I don’t know but those symptoms didn’t appear when
I’m with her and in fact, I don’t feel that uncomfortable when I’m interacting with women.
So… Maybe… Just maybe… Things are getting better.” Noah looked down.

Theodore and Finley looked at each other and smiled. They held Noah’s hands and smiled at
him. “Hey… Isn’t that a good thing? This is what you want, right? As long as you’re willing
to talk to us… We will support you no matter what, Noah,” said Finley.

“We were there when ‘that’ happened, remember? Both of us want you to be happy. Take
your time… Just call us and we will be there,” Theodore said while smiling fondly at Noah.

Noah felt touched with what his friends said, so he decided to tell them his experience and
how he and Leah became close. He also told them that he will meet Leah at an overpass near
the plaza to exchange books.

AT THE OVERPASS NEAR THE PLAZA

Leah stood two stairs higher than Noah. They were talking about the reactions of Theodore
and Finley when they knew about how close Noah and Leah are.

“That’s what he said? Hahahaha… I should see his reaction at that time,” said Leah while
laughing. “Anyway, I’m sorry that I cancelled our plan last minute. I have to accompany my
mom to the clinic.” Leah made a gesture of an apology.

“It’s okay. Besides, Theo and Fin wanted to meet me. Oh, right! This is the book I said I want
you to read.” Noah took out a hardcover book and gave it to Leah.

“Oh my God! Thank you and here’s mine.” Leah said and they exchanged their books. When
Leah put the book inside her handbag, a passer-by bumped Leah’s shoulder. She lost her
footing and fell on top of Noah, caging him.

“Auch! I’m sorry, N–,“ her words stopped when she saw Noah’s pupil shaking and his face
turned pale. Noah curled into a ball, and he mumbled under his breath.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Please… Let me go…” Noah kept chanting the word ‘sorry’ and
his body shook violently.

“Noah?” asked Leah. She reached Noah’s hand, but he quickly pulled his hand. He puked and
slowly his vision turned to black. “Noah! Noah!” yelled Leah. She quickly called an
ambulance when she saw Noah fainted.

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AT THE HOSPITAL

Theodore and Finley frantically ran into the hospital and went to Leah. Finley’s heart sank
when he heard Noah fainted. Fortunately, Theodore was there with him when he got a phone
call from Leah.

“How was he? How did this happen?” Theodore asked right after he found Leah.

“I don’t know. He is still inside. It’s all happened too fast. We were just talking when
someone bumped me and… and I lost my footing. I… I fell on top of him and before I
realised he kept chanting ‘sorry’ over and over again. I tried to call his name, but he couldn't
hear me. So, I tried to hold his hand but he suddenly… he… puked and fainted…” Leah was
in panic.

“Calm down, Leah. We don’t want to send you inside,” said Finley when he realised Leah
was shaking violently and out of breath.

“Right… I’m sorry… I don’t know how to react when this incident happens in front of me.”
Leah sat on the bench. She sighed. She stared at the wall and took a deep breath. “How can
he become like that? It’s… As if he saw a ghost… His face turned pale…” Leah looked at
them.

They both looked at each other and sighed. “It was a long story and we actually hoped that it
would not relapse… Since he… He started to become himself… “ Theodore sighed. “I don’t
know how to start…” Theodore looked at Finley.
“He was a cheerful boy, you know. He loved to joke around… and he behaved like a normal
boy should act. He is polite and can’t say no to anybody. We didn’t know and… didn’t
expect that it would turn out like that…” Finley leaned on a chair. His voice quivered.

FLASHBACK

“Noah! You will watch my game, right?” Theodore ruffled Noah’s hair. “If you’re not
watching, then I’m not going to talk to you anymore.” Theodore said and smiled when he saw
Noah’s troubled face.

“Of course, I don’t want to miss your game. Let me take my wallet in the class first,” said
Noah when he realised he didn't have his wallet with him. “Go ahead and Fin, you follow
Theo. I want to take my wallet first,” as he jogged to the classroom.

“Don’t be late,” Theodore shouted and looked at Finley. “Let’s go, Fin.” Theodore said, and
they walked to the field.

CLASSROOM

“Where is it?” Noah mumbled while looking under his desk. “I’m pretty sure I put it in here
before I went to the gym. Hmm…,” said Noah while looking through his beg, not noticing a
shadow appeared behind him.

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“Noah! There you are. I searched you for 30 minutes, you know,” a woman said while
smiling at him.

“Oh, Miss Scarlet! May I know why you were looking for me?” asked Noah while looking at
her. He felt uneasy without a reason and tried to ignore those feelings.

“Can you help me clean up the store? You know, since there is a sports day and they left that
place quite messy, “ said Ms. Scarlet. “Great! Let’s go!” Ms. Scarlet led the way when she
saw Noah nodded.
Noah followed her back like a chick followed his mother. Each step made his uneasy feeling
strengthen. ‘It’s okay… Ms. Scarlet just wants me to help her, and I can go to Theo’s game
right after I help her. Let’s just do this quickly and go.’ He thought, not knowing his teacher
had another plan.

IN THE STOREROOM: Trigger Warning!!! [It contains s*xual assault issues starting
from here.]

“Come, help me with the balls and mats,” uttered Ms. Scarlet and she showed a gesture to
Noah to go inside.

“Where should I put this?” asked Noah while putting the basketballs inside the basketball
rack. “Miss?” Noah looked at his back when she didn’t reply to his call. “What are you trying
to do, Miss?” asked Noah when she came close to him.

"There's nothing to be worried about, honey. It's just me, Ms. Scarlet after all," said Ms.
Scarlet while slowly reaching for him. "You'll definitely be enjoying every moment...
starting… from.. now."

Noah shook violently and his scream was muffled as she tied his mouth with a necktie.

AT THE GYM

Finley kept looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of Noah. He scratched his head. ‘Where
is he? Theo will get upset at this rate’ thought Finley when he didn’t see Noah.

“Have you found him?” asked Theodore. “Where is he?” said Theodore when Finley shook
his head.

“I will wait for him. You go first since you have a game after this,” uttered Finley when he
looked at his watch.

“It’s okay. Let’s just look for him. I have like… one hour to spare,” said Theodore while
looking at his watch.

Finley nodded and they searched Noah at the classroom, canteen, hallways, and gym just in
case he came when they were looking for him. They tried to ask around, but no one saw him.

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“Where is he?” Theo mumbled when they searched Noah at their classroom for the third
time. Finley only lifted his shoulder as a reply.

“Hey… I heard you’re looking for Noah?” asked someone from behind.

“Yeah. Have you seen him?” Theodore replied.

“Last time I saw him… He followed Ms. Scarlet to the storeroom to help her,” said that boy.

They thanked him and quickly went to the store.

“Noah! Noah!” called Theodore when they arrived in the storeroom. No one answered his
call. They heard someone sob and quickly ran into the room.

How shocked they felt when they saw Noah curled into a ball with his mouth tied by a
necktie. His shorts were at his side and his face had dry tears. His eyes looked like a dead
fish, his body shook violently and refused to be touched. They were speechless. ‘Who… Who
did this to you?’ They felt like there was a lump in their throat.

Theodore quickly ran to get a teacher and Finley slowly touched Noah… to hug him. Noah’s
body was stiff while Finley took off the necktie from his mouth. “Shh… It’s okay… It’s
okay…,” Finley tried to speak calmly but his voice betrayed him. “It’s me… Fins… You’re
safe now… You’re safe now… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…,” Finley’s hug got tighter. He rocked
Noah’s body while kept saying that he’s safe now.

Noah’s hands slowly hugged Finley back. He clutched Finley’s back. “Fins… Fins…,” said
Noah. He kept chanting Finley’s name as if he was trying to make sure it’s Finley. His tears
welled up and he cried. His cries tried to tell that he was in agony… scared… terrified with
what happened to him.

Finley chanted ‘it’s okay… let it go’ to Noah. Theodore arrived with two teachers. They were
shocked when they saw Noah’s condition. One of the teachers quickly took off her sweater
and wrapped Noah’s waist to cover him up. However, the moment her hands touched Noah,
he squirmed and cried even louder. “Let me go! Don’t! Stop!!” Noah yelled. He gagged and
threw up before he fainted.

Theodore flabbergasted. The person who did this to Noah was a beast. He was in elementary
school, for god’s sake. The teachers quickly took Noah to hospital and the school exploded
with the rumours of him. Noah was absent from school for 4 days. However, the school’s
atmosphere was heavy and some even made fun of what happened to Noah.

“Did your message get through?” Theodore asked Finley while they walked to the canteen.
Finley shook his head.

“Not only my messages, he also didn’t answer my call,” Finley answered. He looked at his
message and his call log just in case he missed either a message or a call from Noah.
However, his inbox was empty. Both of them sighed.

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“Let’s just give him some time… Maybe he needs a space…,” Theodore said, trying to calm
his worried heart. Finley nodded. They walked in silence to the canteen and took the food.
Right after that, they searched for empty seats.

“Hey, have you heard about Noah?” A boy asked his friend. Theodore and Finley eavesdrop
the conversation.

“The one who got assaulted?” His friend answered.

“Yeah. That one. If I was him, I would gladly do that. It’s a lucky chance, you know. He
probably acted like that for attention, though I’m sure he enjoyed it. Hahahaha!” The boy
continued. They kept talking and condemned Noah to the point, Theodore’s blood boiled.
‘This jerk!’ Theodore thought and Finley got up.

PRANG!! A tray of food flew to that boy’s face. The canteen became silent.

“I dare you to talk like that! Go on!! Say. It!!” Finley shouted. He punched that boy’s face.
Theodore quickly held Finley.

“Stop, Finley! Stop!!” Theodore said while trying to hold on Finley.

That boy was shocked. He got up and pushed Finley. “What was wrong? Isn’t that what boys
wish for? Your friend acted like a coward. If he really didn't want it, why didn't he push her?
Act like a goody two shoes when actually he loved it!!” That boy replied.

Theodore was furious. “What did you say?” He looked at that boy. “Act like goody two
shoes?! He was raped… He was traumatised… I saw how he looked after that thing happened
and you dare to say like that?!” He punched that boy so many times. To say his blood boiled,
was right. He was fuming with what that boy said about Noah. How can he say that to a
victim? What did he know? He knew nothing. Noah’s agony, his reaction and how pitiful he
was on that day.

That boy was unconscious, and his face bruised. Theodore was too enraged to realise that the
boy wasn’t putting up a fight anymore.

“Theodore!! Stop!! That boy is already unconscious!!” Finley shouted. He dragged Theodore
away from that boy. “Calm down!! You will get suspended at this rate!!” Finley said while
forcing Theodore to look at him.

‘Who cares about that?! How can he say that to Noah?! Noah was… Noah was…,” Theodore
couldn’t continue. After all, he wasn’t there when his best friend needed him the most. He
sighed. “Right. It wouldn’t solve anything if I behaved like this. Thanks.” Theodore said after
he calmed down.

“Good.” Right after that, the teacher came, and they were called to the principal's office for
causing a disturbance and punching their classmate. They were waiting to be called by the
principal.

“Well… At least, I got my revenge on him for bad mouthing Noah.” Theodore said, trying to
make a joke.

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“Now I wish to kick him at least once.” Finley replied. They smiled at each other. They tried
to lift their moods. They were called to get inside the principal’s room.

“Mr. Theodore Blake and Mr. Finley Alford. Do both of you know why you are here?” The
principal asked them after they sat.

“For… causing disturbance?” Finley replied. “And… punch someone.” Theodore continued.

“Great. So you knew the reason. Now, tell me. Why? I can’t judge if I don’t know the cause.”
The principal said calmly. He knew that Theodore who is a school athlete and Finley who is a
class president wouldn’t do this for no reason. After all, they were the icons for academics
and sports.

“He started it first. He badmouthed Noah and said those horrible things.” Theodore started.

“How can his friends do nothing when he said that?” Finley continued to agree with
Theodore’s statement.

The principal nodded. “By Noah… Noah… Noah Wynknight… Is that right?”

Both of them nodded. They believed what they did was right. To protect your friend… Isn't
that what friends are supposed to do? The principal sighed.

“I see. Yes, what you thought was right. However, it doesn’t justify what both of you did.
This is not a warzone. We don’t need to use fist to fight. Just use your words,” the principal
said while making eye contact with them. He looked back at the report and sighed. “Since
both of you were the icons of school and never broke any rules before, I will let this case
slide. But! That doesn’t mean you will not receive any punishment. Both of you will need to
stay back and clean the school yard for a week. Do you understand?”

Theodore tried to argue; however Finley stopped him. “Thank you, Mr. Principal,” Finley
said. Finley quickly got up and dragged Theodore out after they got permission to leave the
room.

“Why would you do that? I mean why accept the punishment? We didn’t even do anything
wrong,” to say Theodore was furious is right. They did the right thing, why would they need
to be punished?

“Just let it slide. If this news catches Noah’s ear, what will he say? He probably feels guilt
and distances himself from us. Just let it go. It’s just one week and it’s also worth it since you
made that jerk into the hospital. Besides, we don’t want to put Noah in distress,” Finley tried
to justify his action. He knew Theodore had a soft spot for Noah. Just use Noah’s name, and
he will obey.

Theodore grunted. He knows what Finley said was right. Noah already stressed with what
happened to him and he shouldn’t add more on his plate. He sighed. “Do you think Noah
will open up at us?” Theodore asked. He was scared… so scared that they will lose Noah
forever.

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Finley just kept quiet. He doesn’t know how to answer Theodore’s question. After all, it all
depends on Noah. He can only wish for the best. They walked to their classroom in silence.

NOAH’S HOME

Noah’s mother knocked on his door. “Honey… Let’s eat together. It’s been a while since you
had dinner with us…,” Noah’s mother said but no one answer. His door was locked and she’s
afraid Noah will do the unthinkable. “Come out when you are ready, okay? Take your time,
honey. I will be here if you want me,” his mother said while holding her tears.

She never expected that incident to happen to her beloved son. How could that beast dare to
do that to her own student? Noah holed up in his room after he came back from the hospital.
He also doesn’t want to make any contact with anybody.

“Any reply?” Noah’s father asked when she arrived at the dining room. He was waiting for
his wife to come back. He forced a smile when his wife only replied by shaking her head. He
hugged his wife from the back as a gesture to cheer her up. “It’s okay, darling. Give him
time… He needs that… We will support him, okay? As long as we showed him that we are
here for him… .” He kissed her nape. “Now, you need to stay healthy and strong. For Noah…
You eat first. I’ll bring Noah’s food to his room.” Noah’s father took a tray of dinner to
Noah’s room.

He knocked twice and put the tray in front of the door. “I will put your food here. You need
to eat, my boy.” He smiled when he heard the doorknob turn. “How are you, Noah?” He
asked when he saw Noah’s face.

“Dad…,” Noah looked at his father. He didn’t mean to ignore his mother, but his body froze
whenever he heard his mother’s voice.

“Take your time. I’m sure your mother will understand. It’s okay… Whenever you’re ready,”
his father replied. He knew what Noah felt since he was a good kid. He loves his family more
than anything. “Here’s your food. After you’re done, just put it here, okay?” His steps halted
when he heard Noah call him. When he looked back, he saw Noah make a gesture to let him
inside his room.

He quickly went inside and sat on his bed. “What’s wrong, Noah?” He asked.

“I…,” Noah paused. ‘Is this the right thing? Can I confide this to dad?’ He thought. Noah
looked at his father when he felt his father put his hand on his. He felt calm when he saw his
father’s soft smile. His father mouthed the word ‘breath’. Noah nodded and took a deep
breath.

“I don’t know how to tell you… but… I didn’t mean to shut mother out… It’s just… I don’t
know why… All I could hear… Her voice, her touch… It was a mess… I knew just now it
was mom… But all I could see was that woman… I felt disgusted… with myself, her voice…
It felt like I was in hell…” Noah didn’t even notice that he cried. He felt guilt at his mother
but his body, his mind stuck at ‘that’ moment.

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Noah’s father hugged him. He knew it was hard for Noah, especially at his age. No one
should go through this experience. Neither his son nor any victim of this cruel act. He rubbed
Noah’s back. He was supposed to enjoy his life, out with his friends and bonding with his
mother but because of this, he can’t and couldn’t. He is stuck and being chased down by this
nightmare. “It’s okay, honey. It’s okay. Cry if you had to… Don’t… don’t hold back… I’m
here, we’re here for you…,” his father said. Noah's cries got louder. Why had he had to
experience this? What was his sin for this thing that happened to him? What did he do?

MEANWHILE

DING DONG. Noah’s doorbell rang. His mother quickly opened the door. Theodore and
Finley were waiting in front of the door. They smiled when they saw Noah’s mother open the
door.

“Good evening, madam. May we visit Noah?” Finley asked.

“Of course, you can. I’m glad you came. Noah had been holed up in his room. I hope your
visit will cheer him up,” Noah’s mother said. She doesn’t even care what methods she should
use as long as Noah is happy and back to his old self. The kind and cheerful boy.

They nodded. “Then, excuse us.” Theodore said. Noah’s mother quickly made a way for
them to go inside. She went to the kitchen to prepare some snacks for them. They were five
steps away from Noah’s room when they saw Noah’s father come out from the room. “Hello,
uncle.” Finley greeted.

“Oh! Hello, boys! Are you here to visit Noah?” he asked them. Both of them nodded and
grinned.

“Is Noah inside or should we come back another time?” Finley asked in case Noah might not
want to meet them.

“Wait a minute, yeah?” his father answered and went inside Noah’s room. His father came
out and smiled. “Lucky! Noah agreed to meet both of you. Just treat him like before, okay?”
Noah’s father told them that to make Noah comfortable with them. They nodded and went
inside the room.

“Hello?” Theodore said. He scanned the room and noticed Noah on his bed, wrapped with the
quilt. “How are you, Noah?” he asked. Noah smiled.

“I’m good. I missed both of you so much,” Noah said to lift up the mood.

Finley’s eyes got teary, and he tried to jump at Noah to hug him. “You don’t know how much
I miss you, Noah! You made me so worried when you didn’t read my message nor answer
my calls!”

Theodore quickly held Finley. “Stop! You want to crush him to death?! He looked like he
was suffocated, Fin,” Theodore said while holding Finley’s collar.

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“Shut up! I missed him, you know.” Finley glared at Theodore. They bickered in front of
Noah. They stopped when they heard Noah chuckled.

“Noah!!” they said in unison. They jumped and hugged Noah. Noah smiled and hugged them
back. “Hey, guys,” Noah said when both of them sat properly on his bed. They talked about
any interesting topic, and they noticed that Noah tried to avoid talking about ‘that’ incident.
They also noticed a change in Noah’s behaviour where he became stiff when he heard his
mother’s voice.

4 DAYS LATER

Noah came to school like usual. He tried to hide himself by wearing an oversized hoodie and
covering his face with a mask. He walked through the hallways and people around him
whispered.

‘Isn’t he the one who got sexually harassed?’ ‘Poor boy!’ ‘Huh! He probably loved it!’ He
heard them talking behind his back about what happened to him four days ago. He was scared
of this… change. Why did people look at him like that? Why did people make it as a joke?
How about his feelings? He quickly entered his class, waiting for Finley and Theodore to
come.

“Hey! How does it feel to have your cherry popped?” His classmate, known as the school
bully, Manson laughed. He kept making it as a joke. Noah tried to ignore him, but Manson
wasn’t satisfied. So, he came next to Noah and pulled Noah’s hair. He said next to his ear. “I.
Ask. You. How. Does. It. Feel. Nerd?!”

Noah was shaking. This is not what he wants. He only wishes to be normal, why did this
happen to him? His tears streamed down. “Aww, what a baby. That is why you got raped.
Hahahaha” Manson said. He pushed Noah’s head. “Coward!” he said before leaving the
class. Noah looked around and saw his classmates snickered at him.

The urge to throw up raised. Noah quickly left the class to the washroom. On his way to the
washroom, he bumped to Finley and Theodore. “Noah! Are you okay?” Finley asked him
with a worried face. He pushed Finley aside and ran. “Noah!” Finley yelled but Noah was
gone from his view.

IN THE WASHROOM

BLERGH! Noah threw up. He panted. ‘Why has this happened to me?’ Noah thoughts. One
week ago, his classmates were joking with him but now… they made him as a joke. ‘Calm
down, calm down. Take a deep breath, Noah. Stay strong,’ he said to himself. When he
wanted to leave the cubicle, he heard someone talking about him.

“Hahahaha… Hey, did you know about what happened to Noah Wynknight?” An anonymous
voice was heard.

“Come on! His story has become the talk of the town. I mean, isn’t he the reason Ms. Scarlet
got fired? He was probably the one who tried to seduce Miss and accused her. It’s funny, you

11
know… He can just fight Miss; she is a woman. How strong can she be?” another one
replied. They continued the conversation and left.

Noah froze. ‘It’s my fault? Why… She’s the one who forced herself on me… Why is it my
fault?’ he thought. His head kept pounding and his heart was hammering. He remembered
that day.

NOAH’S POINT OF VIEW [FLASHBACK]

“Miss?” I looked at my back when she didn’t reply to my call. “What are you trying to do,
Miss?” I asked when she came close to me.

"There's nothing to be worried about, honey. It's just me, Ms. Scarlet after all," she said while
slowly reaching for me. "You'll definitely be enjoying every moment... Starting.. From..
Now."

She tied my mouth with a necktie to muffle my scream. Her hands were all over me. She
chuckled when she saw my tears. ‘Cute,’ she said to me. I scream over and over again,
wishing to be saved by anybody but no one… no one heard me.

BACK TO THE WASHROOM [BACK TO THIRD PERSON POV]

Noah punched the door. He huffed. ‘Stop… Stop… Stop… That day was clearly her fault!
She was a beast! I even begged her to stop!’ he thought. He sat on the toilet bowl. ‘Or… Is
what they said true? Why couldn't I push her? Why was I weak on that day? I… Why
couldn’t I… why?’ His eyes brimmed with tears. His hands were shaking. He was lost in his
thoughts.

“Noah! Noah!” Finley called him. They were searching for Noah when they realised that
Noah wasn’t in class during the homeroom. He panicked. ‘Where is Noah? No… no… no…
He has to be here… Please…’ Without he realised, what happened to Noah had brought a big
impact to him and Theodore.

Theodore tried to ask around, but no one saw Noah. His heart pounded. ‘You have to be safe,
Noah!’ He kept praying to God to protect Noah. He called Noah but to no avail. He checked
on Finley if he found Noah but there was no news.

“I searched all the empty classrooms, but he wasn’t there and judging by the way you
checked on me, I’m sure you’re the same,” Finley said when they met at the class. Theodore
nodded as a reply. “This is our last hope. Let’s check on the washroom and if he isn't there,
we will go to the teacher’s office.”

They went to the washroom. “Noah?” Theodore softly called his name. Finley pushed every
cubicle’s door and there was a door locked. Theodore knocked on the door. “Noah?” he
asked. Finley quickly climbed from the next cubicle to see who was inside the locked door.

“Noah!” Finley yelled when he saw Noah crouched beside the toilet bowl. “Force the door
open, Theo!” he commanded Theodore. Theodore quickly pounded on the door to force it

12
open and after sixth tries, he managed to force open the door. Theodore quickly took Noah
out. “Noah! Noah!” He softly slapped Noah’s face to wake Noah up but did not respond.
“Bring him to the infirmary room, Theo!” Finley said to Theodore.

They quickly went to the infirmary. Luckily, the school nurse was there. They were relieved
when the school nurse told them Noah was fine. His blood pressure was a bit higher than
average but nothing alarming happened. She asked them to trust her, but they couldn’t,
especially with what happened with Ms. Scarlet. The nurse understood and let them stay with
Noah. The nurse called his parents to bring Noah’s home after she got approval from the
principal.

Theodore and Finley watched the school nurse talk to Noah’s parents. They were too worried
to leave Noah alone. Finley held Noah’s hand while Theodore just stared at the school nurse.
“Thank you, Theo and Fin.” Noah’s mother said after she came close to them. She whispered
‘thank you’ before her husband carried Noah to the car.

“I suggested they bring Noah to a psychiatrist. Noah’s condition needs to be monitored. He

wasn’t in his best condition and I’m sure both of you were too,” the school nurse said when
it’s just the three of them. “I’m pretty sure both of you are in a protective mood right now
especially when you can’t find Noah in your sights. You may go to your class. I assured you
Noah is in a safe place now,” she said. Both of them nodded in unison and walked to the class
after thanking the school nurse.

IN THE HOSPITAL [PRESENT]

“You don’t know how we felt after that day… We became anxious if we didn’t see Noah in
our sight… We even had to go through counselling, you know?” Finley ruffled his hair.

“We were there when he couldn’t even talk to his mother, not even a word. No matter what
his mother tried… he couldn’t. He lived under her shadow. No matter who was talking to
him as long as it was a woman's voice, he would freeze and shake. If the woman was a bit
older than him, the worst case was… he reacted just like when you fell on him.” Theodore
sighed.

Leah understood what they tried to tell. What happened to Noah affected his close friends
too. She was sure now that Noah’s trauma response had relapsed, three of them would be
greatly affected than before. “Theo. Fin. Let me help him,” she said while looking at them.

“Are you crazy?! You think we would let you?” Theodore glared at her. “Who do you think
you are?!” Theodore was enraged. ‘Does this woman deaf? Noah couldn’t even come near
his mother for a long time. Heck! Noah even had a hard time when he was with us!’ He
thought.
“Theo!” Finley called him. “Calm down. Look, Leah. I know you meant well but… from our
experiences, it will be hard for you. Especially when you just knew him,” he tried to advise
her.

Leah quickly shook her head. “I believe in myself.” Theodore was ready to throw a hand
when Finley held him down.

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“How about this… You searched and learned about the traumatic response and anything that
related to it. If… if you are still with your decision, then we will let you,” Finley calmly said.
He knew Leah meant well but he wanted to make sure she was completely ready and knew
how to handle the situation before both of them hurt each other.

“Finley! What was wrong with you?! She was a stranger!” Theodore looked at Finley with
disbelief. How could he say that? Did he forget what happened to Noah when he made a
contact with women? He grunted when he saw Finley mouthed ‘trust me’ at him. “You better
have a great plan, or I swear I will kill you!” he said while glared at him.

“Did you forget what happened to Noah? He couldn’t be near his mother! Their relationship
was in a mess even though they are family! It will become worse especially when Leah was a
stranger in Noah’s life!” Theodore said when Finley was next to him after sent Leah home.
He didn’t understand why Finley accepted Leah’s absurd request.

“How could I forget, Theo. We both saw how he reacted at that time, and did you forget how
interested he was in Leah?” Finley replied. “This may be the new method to help him heal
faster. I believe that Leah will be our trump card,” he said while waiting for the doctor to
come out from the emergency room.

TWO DAYS LATER

“How are you doing today?” Finley asked when he visited Noah. He saw Theodore was
cutting an apple for Noah. “Theo! Why didn’t you tell me you're here?” he asked Theodore.

“Well… My baby was here alone… How could I leave him alone, isn’t that right Noah?” He
mimicked a duck face. Noah chuckled at his face. “Huh! Did you think you would be the first
one to arrive?” He raised an eyebrow.

Finley wanted to reply when Noah stopped them. “That’s it. If you want to fight, go outside.
Have some shame. Both of you become the talk of the nurses here even though it’s been two
days I stayed here.” Noah sighed. He understood how childish Finley and Theodore would be
when it came to this. He also knew that he was the reason why both of them became so
protective and couldn’t leave him alone. He frowned when he remembered the start of this
reaction.

“Stop… stop…” Finley said. Noah was dumbfounded. “That… that face. I know what you're
thinking, Noah. ” How could he not understand? Noah would become timid whenever he
remembered the past. “I told you many times, didn't I? This bad habit of yours,” he
continued. He flicked Noah’s forehead. “I know you like my back of hand, Noah.”

Theodore realised the mood was a bit down and he quickly tackled Noah. “Here comes the
rush,” he said while tickling Noah’s side.

“Stop! Stop!” Noah said. He panted when Theodore stopped. “You… you… you can’t do
that… Theo…” He glared at him. Theodore grinned and gave him a slice of apple as an
apology. Finley smacked Theodore’s head and shook his head.

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“How could you do that? Isn’t he the bad friend, Noah? I knew it, I’m your good friend,
right?” Finley said, trying to rile Theodore up. Theodore glared at him and tried to argue but
was cut off by Noah.

“Both of you are the same.” He chuckled when he saw Finley acted like he was offended.
They spend their time together and Finley helped Noah get discharged from the hospital.

NOAH’S RENTED HOUSE

“Let me help you.” Theodore offered when they arrived at Noah’s rented house. Theodore
helped him unpacked while Finley cooked dinner for them. Both of them were so familiar
with the house as this is where they would spend time together in the middle and end of the
month.

“Dinner’s ready!” Finley called. He shook his head when he heard Noah and Theodore
bickered about who arrived at the table first. “Sit and eat!” He said while putting a plate in
front of them.

They both stopped and ate together. Theodore cleaned the table while Noah washed the
dishes. Finley came and helped Noah. “About what happened… Have you told your parents?
“ He asked Noah.

Noah stopped with what he’s doing. He looked at Finley and sighed. “I… I don’t want to
make them worry about me; you know. I didn’t tell them, and I wish that they wouldn’t know
about this. I don’t want them to become wary and anxious with everything anymore. I just
want them to enjoy their life… without worrying about me.” He knew that his parents had the
right to know but… he didn’t want to repeat whatever happened in the past.

Finley put his wet hand on Noah’s shoulder. “If you think that's the best, then it is. I support
any of your decisions,” he said confidently. He also wiped his wet hand on Noah’s shirt and
smiled mischievously.

When Noah noticed what Finley did, he shouted his name and glared at him. “Finley! You!!”
Finley laughed and ran to the living room. “Just wait until I get you!” He shook his head
when he heard Finley laugh from the living room. To be honest, he was relieved when his
friends were still acting normal with him. Though… he couldn’t become like a normal
person.

ONE WEEK LATER AT THE MIDNIGHT MOCHA

Noah sipped his café au lait while observing people doing their routine. This was his way to
relieve his stress. He took one semester leave to recuperate. He goes back to himself where
he’s afraid of people touching him, especially women. He couldn’t even bring himself to call
his mother nor answer her video calls. He felt scared and that woman’s voice kept hunting
him as if he was brought back to the time where his nightmare began.

KNOCK KNOCK. Someone tapped his table. When he looked at the source of the sound, he
was shocked to see Leah smiled while waving at him. “L-leah…” he stuttered. He felt his

15
palm get wet. He got nervous and wished to be out of this situation. His eyes got wider when
Leah sat opposite of him. “F-fancy to see y-you here,” he said while looking at his cup.

“I asked Fin about you, and he was so reluctant to answer my questions.” she said while
looking at his face. “I don’t know how to say it but… let me help you, Noah,” she said,
hoping that Noah will… maybe… let her inside his wall.

“I-i assume you are here because you knew about m-me. T-the h-horrible past…,” he tried to
look at her but couldn’t. His hand was shaking, and he felt hard to breathe. ‘Why is she here?
I-i… How could she be here when she knew about that?’ he thought. He became wary of her
because… why would she stay and in fact tried to help him? Heck… he was afraid she would
become like his mother or worse… like ‘that’ woman.

“You need to fight those feelings, Noah. It’s okay to take your time but… you must let
people help you… little by little… I’m not saying you have to for-...,” Leah couldn’t continue
with her talk when she saw Noah glared at her.

“Stop!! Do you think I didn’t try? Do you think I wish to be like this?!” Noah was fuming.
‘She is the same as mom! I tried! I-i really tried…’ his head filled with so many thoughts.
“Stop!” he said when he saw Leah tried to touch his hand. “I-i really don’t need your pity…
so piss off,” he continued when Leah didn’t show any sign to leave. “If you aren’t, then I
will,” he got up and took his things. He quickly left the café.

“Noah!” She called his name, but Noah was gone. Leah sighed and called Finley. “I… I
didn’t expect his reaction would be like that…” “No, no, no…” “I tried to touch him but…”
“I know, I’m sorry…” the call ended. She sighed. What Finley advised her was right. Noah
was in his shell and trying to protect himself. ‘ I can’t force him nor push him to change… I
need to match his pace and observe his reactions… Stay strong, Leah!’ she said to herself.

MEANWHILE [NOAH POINT OF VIEW]

‘How could she meddle with me? Why couldn’t she mind her business?’ The more I thought
about Leah’s behaviour, the angrier I got. After all, she is only an acquaintance. I couldn’t
understand why Leah willingly offered to help ME when she doesn’t even know the battle
I’m in.

RING RING. My phone rang. I looked at my phone and Finley’s name was shown on the
screen. I declined the call. I’m still angry with the fact Leah knew about ‘that’ and I’m afraid
that I will hurt Finley if I talk with him. ‘How could he share my dark past to Leah? Why did
he do that?’ I mumbled under my breath.

DING. A notification came in.

From Fins:
Hey… Don’t ignore my call, Noah…
I’ll come to your house after my class.
Answer me, Noah.
Noah?
That’s it. I’m coming over.

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From Theo:
Hey… You good? I heard that you didn’t reply to Fin.
Noah? Hey…
Answer me… Noah?
I’m going to your house now… Don’t lock the door!

I sighed. I really don’t want to talk with any of them now. I turned my phone off after I
replied that I’m fine. I locked my front door before going to bed. I lied down and stared at my
ceiling. My eyelids were getting heavier and before I knew it, I fell into the dreamland.

NOAH’S DREAM

It was two months after getting a therapist. I am still uncomfortable with my mom, however…
I am slowly getting better. I can talk to my dad, hang out with Theo, and Fin in my room and
even joke with others as long as it’s not a woman. It affected me greatly because I couldn’t
stand the sight of women even if they're family members.

“Noah…” my mom called me. I averted my eyes to look anywhere except her. These days, I
avoided her as much as I could, and I understand that she missed me. But… I couldn’t do
anything. Whenever I forced myself to try to talk to her, I got so anxious and in the worst
case I threw up. All the stress had built up and it made me prefer to run… run away from her.
I know it wasn’t fair for her but… how could I when my body will tense up and all I see in
front of me is that woman?

“Would you look at me, honey?” she continued. I looked around to find dad but he’s
nowhere to be found. Where is he? Where?! I panicked and wanted to go to my room. I
looked at her for a second and quickly walked past her. “Noah!” she said and held my hand.
I froze. ‘No, no, no, no, no… Why did she touch me? Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO!’
Without thinking, I jerked my hand away from her grip as a reflex. ‘Shoot!’ My eyes widened.
“I-i-i didn’t mean–” my words got cut when she shouted at me.

“Noah! How could you?! What’s wrong with you?! I’m your mother!” she said while holding
both of my arms. “M-m-mom,” I stuttered. ‘W-w-why is s-s-she like this?!’ I thought. She
scared me and my body shook violently. “P-p-please… Let me g-go…” I begged her. “No!
Why did you act like this?! It’s already been two months! Two! What stops you?!” she yelled
at me. My heart was hammering, and I felt dizzy. My mom figure started to overlap with that
woman figure. “S-stop…,” I softly said.

“Don’t be a coward!! You’re a boy!! You’re not a helpless boy who can’t fight her!! You
made me feel so hopeless that my son… my own son couldn’t handle my touches! I give up!
I’m done fighting for you! You couldn’t be better because you didn’t try hard enough!” my
mom continued. What did she say? Coward? Helpless? I tried… I did! W-why? I looked
straight into her eyes. “H-h-how could y-you say t-that?” I questioned her. “You weren’t
there! I tried to fight her!! You don’t know what I felt that time!! How hopeless I was when
she didn’t stop even if I begged her to! You think I wish t-this thing happened to me?!” I
pushed her. I went back and forth.

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“You don’t know what I felt even now… How she stuck in my mind… became a nightmare…
I was h-hunted by her shadow!! All… all I could see was how she smiled wickedly and
continued with t-t-those…” I took a sharp breath. “Didn’t try hard enough? I did!! I tried to
spend time outside my room. I tried to stay in one place where you are!! E-even though… It
made me so stressed… I couldn’t even look at my teachers, mom! Every time I heard your
voice, it reminded me of her voice… You don’t know how they joked about what happened to
me at school… How I am being bullied because of this… It leaves me with a big scar, mom...
So… so, don’t you dare to tell me that I’m not trying hard enough!! Because I did!! I forced
myself to keep going even for one day!! You don’t even know that my mind was always in
chaos… The voices in my head… k-kept telling me how weak I am, why I didn’t kill myself
and they never stop!! So… stop… You’re not the only one who is frustrated, mom” I was in a
crying mess. I quickly ran to my room and locked the door.

“Noah! Noah!” Finley said while shaking my body. “W-what? I asked him. “You were crying
in your sleep and… mumbled. I panicked when you didn’t open your eyes when I tried to
wake you up,” Finley said and hugged me. “Don’t… don’t make me scared, Noah,” Finley’s
hug became tighter.

I nodded. Both of us made eye contact and I averted my eyes. “Where’s Theo?” I asked when
I didn’t see him. “He’s in the living room. We… may or may not make your doorknob break
because both of us forget the spare key in the pigeonhole?” he said. My eyes widened in
response. “You what?” I asked for confirmation.

“It would be better if you look by yourself…,” he grinned. I quickly got up from the bed and
went to the living room. “What in the world…,” I said when I saw the condition of the door.
“You better clean and fix this up!”

Noah decided to give Finley’s suggestion a try two weeks after that. To let Leah help him and
stop when he couldn’t keep going. They met each other at a secluded table in the Earth ism
with Theodore and Finley. Leah treated him like usual while observing his reactions to learn
his triggers. She followed his pace and made sure they’re not touching each other. She tried
to make Noah trust her before they took another step.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. Noah expected Leah to give up just like
how his mother did but no. She kept going even though there were times where Noah treated
her harshly. She understands that Noah reacted like that as his defence mechanism. Little by
little, Noah became comfortable with her. She helped him and was there when he needed
her.

Two years later, Noah was back to himself. He can endure physical touch of the opposite
gender and joke around. Noah was thankful to Leah and his friends because they stayed with
him through thick and thin. They were hanging out together at Midnight Mocha while Noah
waited for his next class. They joked around together and waved to each other ‘see you again’
when Noah excused himself to his next class.

Leah waited until Noah was gone from her sight. “Enough with the staring,” Finley said
while looking at her. Theodore grinned at her. “Your look screams how much you love him,
you know?” Finley said while chuckling.

18
“Yeah… Give him some time and then… Go get him, girl!” Theodore continued to show her
that they supported her. Leah smiled and stared at the sky. ‘I will chase him and if he gives a
good sign… then maybe our relationship can move to another step.’

-END-

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