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Emerson McCormick

Mr.Smith

Honors Junior Literature

19 October 2023

College Improves the American Experience

Education plays a pivotal role in an individual's journey towards financial success in

America. Due to the rising cost, citizens are forced to question whether college is worth it.

Obtaining a college education usually improves the American Experience but has pros and cons;

on one hand it can be expensive to pursue a further education, and on the other, it could

dramatically improve quality of life after graduation.

Despite the challenges of attending college, graduates can expect to earn more money and

have a richer American Experience. A study done by the Association of Public and Land-grant

Universities found that the average bachelor's diploma holder increases their earning potential by

84 percent compared to someone who only holds a high school degree. This equates to an

increase in approximately $36,000 per year as of 2023 (Association of Public Land-grant

University). A college degree reduces the risk of poverty, by increasing earning potential and

makes people more qualified for high paying jobs. A poem by Czechowicz dives into the

struggles college students face, “I am grateful for my education but it's painful to account for the

fruits of my instruction, critical thinking plus debt that haunts (Czechowicz).” The author is

presenting the theme that education is both a valuable asset and a significant investment into the

future; however it also states that debt is a financial and psychological burden as well.

Czechowicz is recognizing the importance of an education but it comes at a high cost that is not

feasible for most individuals. A college diploma may provide more access to economic stability
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but it may lead to large amounts of debt.

The cost of pursuing a higher Education in the United States is strenuous and expensive

for most Americans. The author, Rama Balasubramanian, wrote a poem called “Importance of

Education'' that corroborates with the Land-grant University study about the value of an

education. In the work, he is writing to his son about the value of earning a college degree,

“When I see college students not studying, I feel sorry for them, They don't realize the value of

education (Rama Balasubramanian).” Rama is addressing the concept that people who have the

ability to pay for college may not fully take advantage of the opportunity of furthering their

education. In 2017,The Federal Student Loan Portfolio, a higher education analyst, began

collecting statistics of the total debt college students had accumulated in the United States.

Welding found, “The average student loan debt for a four-year bachelor's degree was $26,190 in

2017-2018, according to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) (Welding)”

Indicating that the amount of money can take decades to pay back, and for some it may take a

lifetime. An article called “The Average Time to Repay Students Loans” acclaimed data from

Students Loan Debt and discovers it takes over 45 years for the average professional to repay

their student loans (Hanson, Melanie). If someone is not able to pay back their loans until the

middle of their life that could negatively impact their American Experience by making it harder

to take out other loans in the future.

Although college is expensive, there are ways to balance the cost and the benefits to the

best possible experience. Davis SJ’s, poem speaks about his struggles with understanding the

balance of wanting a better future and the cost associated with that future, “I will not apologize

when it infuriates me that our entire future relies on our knowledge and yet you make us pay for

college (Davis, SJ)“ Davis agrees with Czechowicz that education is expensive but a crucial part
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of life. However, neither Davis or Czechowicz spoke about a way to reduce the cost of college.

For example, by applying for financial assistance and applying for scholarships students can

balance the cost with the benefits. Most high schools offer classes that teach their students how

to apply for scholarships and even have special programs that match students with scholarships.

The United States Scholarship Statistics in July of 2023 published their latest findings on the

population that relies on scholarships to pay for their bachelor degree. “58% of U.S. families use

scholarships to help pay for college in some way each year (Woodward ,Matte)”. Over half of

college students receive a scholarship which reduces their financial burden and allows them to

get a degree that will dramatically improve their life.

College is becoming less accessible for lower income families and forcing them to take

on a tremendous amount of debt. However, there are scholarships and loans that students can

apply for to lessen the financial burden. Overall college may not be for everyone but if someone

chooses to attend college there will be immense financial benefits throughout an individual's life

that will improve the quality of their American Experience.

Emerson,

The strongest aspect of this essay is in your synthesis. You not only discussed how texts

agree or disagreed with one another, but also mentioned what authors left out or did not

specifically mention. We will continue to work on synthesis throughout the year, but great

job recognizing this added element of the skill. A couple things to work on:

- Expanding upon your ideas in your analysis

- Proofreading quote integrations to ensure that they flow with the sentence, and

provide necessary context (at times you may have given more than was needed)
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Works Cited

Association of public land-grant University, How does a college degree improve graduates’

employment and earnings potential? APLU. (2023,)

https://www.aplu.org/our-work/4-policy-and-advocacy/publicuvalues/employment-earnings/

Czechowicz, Amy Kay, “The Cost of an Education”, March 6, 201,

http://www.moonsweptyoga.com/moonsweptyogapoems/poem-65-the-cost-of-education

Davis SJ, “Education”, 2017

//www.poetry.com/

Hanson, Melanie. “Average Time to Repay Student Loans”EducationData.org, September 25,

2023,

https://educationdata.org/average-time-to-repay-student-loans

Rama, Balasubramanian, “Importance of education”, March, 2021,

https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/importance_of_education_1336325

Welding, Lyss, Federal Student Loan Portfolio, National Center for Education Statistics

“Average Student Loan Debt: 2023 Statistics”

https://www.bestcolleges.com/research/average-student-loan-debt/#:~:text=Average%20Student

%20Loan%20Debt%20Statistics&text=half%20owe%20less.-,The%20average%20stude

nt%20loan%20debt%20for%20a%20four%2Dyear%20bachelor%27s,for%20Education

%20Statistics%20(NCES).&text=The%20average%20federal%20student%20loan%20de

bt%20has%20more%20than%20doubled,at%20the%20end%20of%202022.

Woodward ,Matter, “U.S. scholarship Statistics: The latest Data, Facts and Cost”, July 18, 2023,

https://www.searchlogistics.com/learn/statistics/scholarship-statistics/#:~:text=Key%20Scholarsh

ip%20Statistics,-Scholarships%20come%20in&text=need%20to%20know%3A-,58%25
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%20of%20U.S.%20families%20use%20scholarships%20to%20help%20pay%20for,to%

207.5%20million%20students%20annually
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Rubric

Skill Not Foundational Proficient Advanced

Yet

Identifies a topic Appears in first Thesis establishes a

paragraph complex claim

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis
Comments:

Includes three or Includes multiple pieces Includes specific,

fewer sources of evidence (from 8-10 meaningful, and
sources) that clearly well-chosen evidence
Some evidence relate to the thesis that relates to the thesis
relates to the thesis
Includes multiple pieces Includes a wide variety
Evidence of evidence in each body of evidence
paragraph (primary/secondary
sources, political
Includes multiple types cartoons, opinion pieces,
of evidence studies, poetry,
fiction/narrative, etc.)

Comments:

Summarizes sources Explains how evidence Explains well-selected

supports topic sentence points of comparison
of individual paragraphs among sources and
evidence and their
Explains how evidence connection to the thesis
Analysis supports the thesis of the
essay Demonstrates use of
advanced vocabulary
and varies sentence
patterns; evidence of
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distinct voice and style

in the writing

Comments:

Little connection Explains how the Clearly explains

between texts; texts/sources are related, relationships among
difficult for the though points could be texts (how they confirm
reader to see how the more selective or better or challenge each other,
texts are related developed build on each other,
Synthesis provide differing
Includes multiple perspectives, etc.)
sources in each body
paragraph Utilizes a variety of
transition words and
Utilizes transition words phrases
and phrases

Comments:

Some elements Heading is correctly No errors in MLA format

missing or some errors formatted
in MLA format
Pages are numbered

Most in-text citations are

correctly formatted

MLA Works Cited: each source

Format entry is in correct MLA
format
Comments:

Shows evidence of Most quotes are correctly All quotes are correctly
basic proofreading integrated integrated

Convention Follows essay Shows evidence of careful

organization proofreading
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s
Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments:

Essay Checklist

Content:
Thesis is the last sentence of my first paragraph
Each body paragraph has a topic sentence that is argumentative and relates to the contents
of the paragraph
I have included the required amount of evidence
My analysis explains how the evidence proves my claims
My body paragraphs relate back to my topic sentence and my thesis
I have attempted to synthesize my sources (agreement, disagreements, etc).
By restated thesis is the first sentence of my conclusion paragraph
I have properly cited my sources (in-text, works cited)

Writing
I have eliminated “dead words” from my writing (see list below)
I have looked at my transition words and phrases to ensure that they are effective
My quote integrations grammatically flow with my evidence (avoiding hanging quotes)
I have included words/phrases from my thesis in the body of my essay (or synonyms)
I have utilized a grammar checker to catch errors
I have read my writing aloud to check for clarity

List of dead words:

● “I”
● YOU
● WE
● LIKE
● THING
● STUFF
● KIND OF
● SORT OF
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● GOOD
● BAD
● HAPPY
● SAD
● MAD
● THIS QUOTE SHOWS (INSTEAD: EXPRESSES, ILLUMINATES,
DEMONSTRATES, DETAILS, EXPLAINS)
● “MANY WAYS”
● “SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS”
● “TO BE” VERBS: IS, ARE, WERE