I THOUGHT I HAD ENDLESS

LOVE FOR MY
GRANDMOTHER BUT WHY
DID MY HEART DRIFT AWAY
FROM HER
AUTHOR: PRINCESS EUNICE RADA
2023

my grandmother is mary and my name is jackie when i was young i had a

grandmother who really took care of me and loved me like no end, i was her
favorite grandchild.we live a life full of joy and love. my grandmother treats me
well and everything she does is perfect.I'm used to her always being there for me
She completes me and builds me up as if I couldn't ask for anything more. but
when I turned ten years old my grandmother Mary went to another country to
live with her daughter I thought she was just on vacation every time she comes
home I can't explain my happiness I greet her with kisses and tight hugs . it is
difficult and very painful for me that we are far from each other, I don't think
that She will continue her life in America with her daughter and every year that
passes I am growing up and learning about reality sometimes I ask myself will
She come back? and every time I graduate I'm very excited that She's the first
to congratulate me but it just ends up being dissapointed and instead of being
happy I can't smile, another thing is that every time I celebrate my birthday She
gives me gift and to be honest I can't appreciate it anymore because I don't want
material things but her. I want to be with her I want to spend my life with her
but I can't. For years I feel like She doesn't love me anymore I feel the sadness of
life and depression and trauma in life I feel like my life has no color, yes we still
communicate through online but that's not enough, I don't even can I face her on
the cell phone or even talk to her by text I'm full of sadness there are nights
when I have a hard time breathing and with so much tightness in my chest I
can't accept that the life I thought was perfect with her is slowly disappearing.
Many years passed and She came back again. I was eating at the table and I was
surprised that my brother suddenly hugged her tightly. She looked me in the
eyes. I didn't approach her. I didn't hug or kiss her, After I ate, I went straight to
my room no one knows that my heart is so happy to see her again but why is
that? I can't show her how much I love and appreciate her but deep inside my
heart I still love her so much. I was with her again but I can't show her how
much I love her and how excited I am to be with her like when I was a child and
one day she once asked my dad what happened to me? I was not like this before.
and I feel a weight in my chest all the pain I went through without her and how
much I needed her while I was growing up came back to my mind again I want
to be angry with her because She left me I want to cry with her and explain to
her how much I looking for her attention and love while I was growing up. she
didn't stay here long and she came back to America and my heart is always
eager to be with her in my life but why can't I show her this again I just want to
be young again oh dear life.