Dissent

Being an advisor to a Hokage sure isn't a comfortable job. The long hours,
meetings, and constant brain-grinding job with so many responsibilities place on
your shoulders.

"What a drag" I let out a sigh while walking back home. Be a normal ninja, marry a
normal wife, have children, save a decent fortune, retire, play shogi, and live a
peaceful life. That was my dream, and thinking back, I still couldn't believe how my
life is the way it is now—completely opposite, I would say.

But seeing the children laughing and smiling on the street, Konoha is safer than
ever. They made me think of Asuma, my family.

"After all, these are not too troublesome." I smiled, all of a sudden like an idiot.

"I'm home," I said while taking out the shoes, sometimes my family has dinner a
little later due to my work load, so on days like this, I usually eat alone. So to my
surprise, Temari is in the kitchen, preparing dinner, and seems to not notice my
presence. I walk behind her and slightly put my hands around her hip. "I'm home~
what's for dinner? I'm hun... WOAH!" Temari startled and swings her knife, which
appeared to have almost cut off my nose if I had not dodged it in time.

"Goodness Shikamaru! You scared me, are you ok?" Temari asked, checking my
face for any cuts and letting out a relieved but slightly annoyed sigh. "At least
letting me know that you came home, sneaking up by my side like that, are you
drunk?".

"I already said hi earlier, probably you were so focused and not heard it, how
troublesome, and no, I'm not drunk. Anyway, I bought a bag of sweet chestnuts
from a new store on the way home, your favorite, what are you cooking tonight?". I
moved my head to see what was on the table.

"It's sashimi, they had catched a good batch today and I was able to buy at such a
bargain-priced, so I thought making a sashimi bowl would be nice. This is my first
time, so it did take a lot of time to prepare and make sure the cuts are clean. You
just came home right on time, hot chestnuts would be a nice snack after, thanks
honey~". Temari smiled, took the chestnuts from my hand, and continued finishing
the dish.

"Dinner will be ready in a minute, can you call Shikadai and tell him to clean the
table too? I hope that wouldn't be much of a drag for you." Temari giggled
sarcasticly.

"Roger", I couldn't stop letting out a sigh and "What a drag" out as I was walking
out of the kitchen.

"Oh, talking about Shikadai, he has been real quiet since he got home, didn't even
touch his game or shogi, which is pretty unusual for him."

"Is that so? We will talk to him at the dinner table then."

Shikadai is sitting outside the garden, looking at the night sky with a contemplative
look on his face. He only replied "ok" after I called him to clean the table, not a
single greeting, a smile, or even showing some attitude—the trait he most likely
inherited from his mom.

In the dining room...

The silence is so loud that it made me uncomfortable, me and Temari exchange

looks, she seems worried too. Shikadai isn't eating. I let out a cough:
"Shikadai, what's wrong? You always love sashimi, now having dinner is such a
drag for you too?", I chuckled, trying to break this awkward atmosphere.

"No dad, it's just..." He paused for a second and said, "One of my classmates died
yesterday night".

"What?", shocked, I ask again to confirm that I didn't hear it wrong, Temari raises
her eyebrows.

"He was killed by some thugs, people said he didn't know he was stealing money
from such dangerous people, one of them caught him, then they beat him up with
iron pipes and finally killed him with multiple stabs on the chest, that's what I
heard." Shikadai said, slightly keeping his head down.

"..."

"That's why today Shino sensei taught us to appreciate your friends, family, and
stuff, then made us spend a moment of silence to commemorate him." He said
after another pause, then picked up a piece of salmon with chopstick, put it in his
mouth, chewing with a pace slower than a snail, and he did not seem to enjoy it
either.

"Was he your close friend? What was your classmate like as a person? And
stealing?" Temari suddenly said.

"I don't know much about him aside from his name, In class, he was kind of a lone
wolf and usually skipped class. He was unaproachable, mean and would
sometimes bully other classmates to get some money, but I don't recall him
hurting someone physically tho, just intimidating." He said while putting rice in his
mouth.
"But...", he continues, "His neighbor said that he lived in a terrible family, the dad is
an alcoholic, doesn't work, and beats him and his mother frequently, his mother
alone couldn't provide enough because the dad often took all of the money to buy
alcohol and gamble, that's why I guess he wasn't showing up in class that much."
He said slowly, with his eyes down.

"Is that it?" Temari said, "So that's why you were being gloomy all this evening?
And I thought there was something serious happening to you." Temari said, relief in
her voice.

"Temari, I don't think you shou...

"What did you mean by that, mom?" Shikadai said, raising his head, suddenly
speaking with a tone he had never spoken to his mother before.

"What do you mean? He wasn't your close friend anyway, why are you being so
emotional about this? And besides, I don't like your attitude." Temari said, slightly
annoyed.

"Because it's not only about his death, mom! It's true that he wasn't a nice guy and
people dislike him, but I understand that had he not been born in such
circumstances, he wouldn't have made such reckless decisions, and maybe he
would have been a better person too. If someone... or if I could've done something
earlier..." Shikadai said, now upset, and I can see he is in regret.

Before I could say something, Temari interrupted, disbelief in her voice: "I can't
believe it! Your classmate was a bully, stealing money from other people, he wasn't
a good person to begin with and now you sympathize with him. I've never seen you
this sad before even when I scold you, forget about this and get yourself together.
How ridiculous! Now finish your di...

"But doesn't everybody make mistakes at some point in their life? Doesn't
everyone deserve a second chance to correct their mistakes? He was a bad person,
but I know for sure he didn't deserve to die like that, It's ridiculous to me that you
could say something this cruel, mom!" Shikadai immediately stands up, with anger
fueling his words.
"Cruel?" Temari said confusingly, then putting or should I say, slamming down her
chopsticks and standing right up.

Oh man...

"It is incredible that when you have a sad backstory, apparently it becomes a free
pass for your wrongdoings. Let me tell you something, and no, Shikamaru, tonight
let me teach him some life lessons about what's right and what's wrong. Shikadai,
have you thought about the people he bullied and stole money from? Those
weaker than him? Those who probably have a family to feed, bills to pay? Have you
ever thought about their feelings? He was not only being selfish to others but also
to his mother, whom you say worked hard to provide for her family. Instead of
studying or working hard to support his mother, what did he do? Bullying
classmate, stealing money and god knows what else had he done, then finally died
pathetically leaving his mom tormented with that piece of trash husband forever. I
bet even though some of them showed sympathy for his death, but inside they are
totally celebrating it! What do you expect? And now you are grieving that brat's
death, thinking he should've had a second chance, but I'm sorry to say that
sometimes this world isn't all pink and butterflies; he got what he deserved! You
reap what you sow and that's it! HAVE. I. MADE. MY. SELF. CLEAR!!?" Temari said
furiously, making direct eye contact with him, her eyes at this point look like they
could stab someone to death with a glance.

Then silence emerges, Shikadai looks down at the table but doesn't seem to be
convinced, disagreement still shows on his face.

"Then..." He speaks calmly, "How about you, mom? Have you ever done something
so bad that you still regret it now—something unforgivable, something you
couldn't tell anyone about? If yes, then do you want forgiveness and to redo
everything if you had a chance?" Now his eyes shift from the table to his mom.
Temari is speechless, she looks confused, anger is still there, but there is another
expression on her face, something I couldn't tell.
I need to say something, "Shikadai, that's enough, we're all tired now and should
go to rest. The matters today, leave it until tomorrow, I will have a conversation
with you about this, alright? Now you go...

"From what you said...."

He interrupted, "I guess anyone who commits acts that are "bad" enough to not
easily be forgiven should be dead, to not cause any more harm to the society. No
matter how much they regret their action, or their redemption. They don't deserve
a second chance; they should've just died, is that right?" He said, his voice is
getting louder and louder. He continues:

"Then how about this? If I tell you the things I thought about you all this time, to
your standards, should I be forgiven? THAT SOMETIMES YOU ARE BEING SUCH A
HUGE DRAG! THAT I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY MO...

SHIT...

...

Shikadai stopped, his pupils shifted to the left side, startled. Temari's palm is only
an inch from his face. If I hadn't used Shadow imitation jutsu on time, I could not
imagine the consequences. Shikadai was scared for a moment, but quickly
regained his composure, he bit his lip, turned back, and ran out of the dining room.

"SHIKADAI!" I yelled before hearing a hard slamming upstair, which suggests his
anger hasn't cooled down. I look at Temari, she is breathing heavily, her eyes still
haven't moved from Shikadai's standing position, and anger, disappointment,
confusion, and pain are all over her face. After a few seconds of silence, I still
haven't released my jutsu, but could tell she has calmed down since her body
stopped shaking and her breath is now stable.
I finally let her go, she lowered her hand, eyes on the door, her face and body
language are stoic and calm, she doesn't chase after Shikadai, she just stands here,
silent. Which is surprising and terrifying for me. To him, she's a strict mother,
sometimes nags him a little too much, but I know, deep down, she couldn't love
him more. Temari never, ever laid a finger on Shikadai, the most violent thing she's
done to him was smiling while slightly pinching his ears as a "punishment", after he
had admitted his faults and apologized to her months ago. She is harsh, blunt, is
insensitive to feelings and never afraid to say what's on her mind even if it hurts
you. So her being silent is something you wouldn't like to see, as I have learned
from our wedding anniversary before. Now, should I comfort her or give her a
moment of silence to sooth herself out?

Then, without a word, Temari walks out, putting on her shoes and getting out of
the house, leaving me alone in the room. I sigh, getting up, cleaning the dishes and
putting the sashimi in the fridge. I already lost my appetite anyway, so there's no
point eating now.

*Knock knock*

"Shikadai, I don't know what's on your mind, but by tomorrow, you need to
apologize to your mother. No excuses, no matter what you think, your behavior
today was totally unacceptable and disrespectful. I will help you as much as I can
to make up with her, and don't forget, that you owe me an apology too." I said, but
there was no response as expected.

I go to my room, take a shower, put on my usually comfy clothes, and lay on the
usually cozy bed, which is now uncomfortable for some reason. Apparently, I'm not
used to not having Temari sleeping by my side either, looking at the ceiling, I sigh
again:

"This is going to be realllly troublesome."

 Repress
"Then, how come there're only the two of us here? I thought this was a gathering
night for us girls." Sakura disappointingly said.

"Well, if I announced that everyone weren't going out tonight except for us, you'll
most likely cancel too. Come on Sakura, you're acting like hanging out with me is
the most boring thing on earth to do. It's been a while since there were only the
two of us going out together." Ino claimed, begging her best friend to stay. They are
now at Yakiniku Q, a BBQ restaurant where the Ino-Shika-Cho trio regularly dines
at, has also become a favorite meeting spot among Shinobis.

"But why did all of them decline at the last moment? It rarely happens before,
especially Temari, she never cancels any meetings that she has agreed to go."
Sakura said as Ino started grilling the meats.

"Hmm, first off, Hinata, she said Himawari suddenly has a high fever, so she has no
choice but to stay at home, and then Tenten, she's been busy these days preparing
for the next chunin exam. As for Temari, she wanted to spend a night with her
family, and for Karui, hmm...., she never accepted our invitation so I didn't invite
her, I bet that woman is doing something sketchy behind our back, don't you think,
Sakura?" Ino said mysteriously while grabbing the meat into her bowl.

"Nonsense! I think she's just not ready to open up, just like Temari. Do you
remember when she was new here? After moving to Konoha to live with
Shikamaru, she wasn't very close to us, and it took at least... a year, I guess, for her
to start hanging out with us". Sakura replied, took a sip of her pineapple juice and
started digging in.

"Yeah! I remember when we first saw her fight with Tenten, she was totally a
different person compared to now, wasn't she? Time sure flies fast." Ino smiled,
chin on her hands, feeling nostalgic.

"No, to say totally different was exaggerating," Ino reclaimed. "She is still a very
strong-willed and outspoken person, just being less rude and violent (giggle)." But
that's what I like about Temari, she is very practical, always gets things done, never
lets feelings get in the way, and when we are together, she gives the most
reasonable advice too. To be honest, I'm pretty envious of her, she always seems to
have her life in order." Ino sighed, then had a big sip of her beer.

"yeahhh.... from the outside you can say that, but we don't know how things are
really going for her. I mean, we never see her expressing how she feels and stuff like
that, right? She could be hiding or bottling up her emotions, I don't know. I've seen
tons of cases like that in my hospital.... Oi, oi, slow down on that beer, it's not even
the weekend yet!" Sakura said, shaking her head seeing Ino already finish a glass of
beer.

"Don't worry, these are nothing! Gosh, you still act like a grandma, Sakura, with
that lame ass pineapple juice (lol). OWNER! Can I have another glass please?",
yelled Ino. But then a familiar voice comes out behind her.

"Excuse me, can I have another bottle of sake, please?"

....

Both of them looked at each other, surprised.

"Hey, isn't that voice..." Sakura said curiously, Ino proceeded to walk out to see
who's been behind her all this time.

"Oh my, Temari?! Why are you here by yourself? Come sit with us!" To Ino's
surprise, she then grabbed Temari's hand and pulled her to sit next to her. Temari
didn't resist or react, just followed Ino.

Hey Sakura, can you hear me? We will exchange words using my Mind Body
Transmission jutsu ok? In case there's something we couldn't talk about in front of
her. (Ino)
 Got it! But what's with the smell of alcohol on her body? I sit all the way here and
still can smell it, and her face is as red as a tomato. Is she drunk? (Sakura)

Well, duh! There must be something going on with her, that's why we are using
this way to exchange right now. (Ino)

"So uhm, Temari, why were you drinking alone like that? I thought you wanted to
spend time with your family, is there any problem?" Ino said worryingly, putting a
hand on her shoulder. Temari didn't reply, she just kept her head down and slightly
shook it.

"Temari, you can tell us anything you know, it will be better if you let it out, we are
willing to listen to everything you say. Is it about your family? Or any problems at
your workplace?" Sakura said, still no answers.

This is bad, I've never seen her like this before, there must have been something
really horrible happened to her. (Ino)

But wait, don't you think this might be the best opportunity to talk to her? We will
help open up her feelings, you know? Just wait a little bit to see if she will say
anythi.... (Sakura)

"Do you think..." Temari suddenly said, with a very quiet voice, almost whispering,
"Do you think....I'm a good mother?"

This line confused both of them: "Wha...What? Temari, please tell me what
happened. Is there any problem between you and your family?" Shocked, Ino bent
down to look at her face to see if she was crying.

Then Temari raised her head, seemingly calm, no tears in her eyes but both of them
could tell how broken they were. She then opened a new bottle of sake, poured a
small glass, chugged it down and looked at the table for a second,

"I, I...I don't know where I went wrong, I've done everything I possibly could for him
as a mother. A roof on his head, foods on the table, I encouraged him to be
stronger, to be better, to push him up whenever he seems to fall down. I'm always
there to support him, and now that brat wished I wasn't his mom, tell me....tell me
why...." Temari's now looked at Sakura sitting on the opposite side, hurt and
desperate for an answer.

.....

I couldn't believe Shikadai said that to her, Sakura! If my son ever said that to me,
I'd have lost my mind too. Just as I thought, now how should we talk to her? (Ino)

I'm starting to think, that she might be too tough on Shikadai and this might make
him feel suffocated, or maybe she wasn't there to mentally support him, maybe.
(Sakura)

"Temari" Sakura finally said, "Maybe he just wants you to listen, for you to be there
for him when he needs you and can sympathize with him, to understand how he
feels. Like sometimes people just want to be listened, not to get advices. Of course,
what he did was wrong, there's no justification for that, but Temari, you
understand what I mean, right?"

Temari contemplated for a moment, poured another glass from the sake bottle,
which was now half empty. Staring at the shiny liquid on her hand, with a dreamy
look, and her usually sharp, clear eyes, are now vague. "Sympathize, huh?", she
scoffed, then drank in one shot.

"Yeah, maybe I should've sympathized with him, we were so alike, so different, and
yet, I had the audacity to say that earlier. He was right, I didn't deserve him, I didn't
deserve a second chance, he won't forgive me, he won't, none of you, he won't~,
forgive~he....." Temari stumbled on her words, chuckled and shook her head in
disappointment, then drank down all the sake inside.

Crap, she's totally wasted, I couldn't understand what she's saying, what should
we do now? Comfort her? (Ino)
 It's useless talking to her now Ino, she won't remember anything by tomorrow
anyway, let's take her home, it's late outside. (Sakura)

Temari poured herself another drink, but before she could drink it, Ino took the
glass from her hand and said:

"Temari, that's enough for today, I understand how you feel, but for now, please go
to rest. Tomorrow is still a weekday, we will talk again when you're sober, ok?" Ino
said with a tone like she's talking to a child.

Temari frowned, stood up, tried to reach for the glass, then suddenly stopped, and
decided to drink straight from the bottle. Sakura immediately leaned forward and
tried to take the bottle back from her hand, calming her down.

"Temari, we understand how you feel, but please, alcohol won't resolve anything,
come on....

"No, no, no, no you don't understand you don't understand none of you
understand, especially you Sakura, not you..." Temari said, sounding as hopeless
as ever, now completely unrecognizable from her usual self.

"PLEASE TEMA..... OUCH!"

Temari pushed Sakura away, she then proceeded to chug down the remaining sake
inside. Both of them struggled to stop her but couldn't, sometimes they forget that
Temari is stronger than an average man. The bottle was now empty, she opened
her hand, lost balance, and was about to fall down, Ino caught her on time, but...

*CRASH!!!*

"HEY THAT TABLE OVER THERE!! BE QUIET FOR A GODDAMN SECOND!!!" Some men
yelling on the other side.
"We... we are very sorry, we're leaving now, sorry for the disturbance." Both of
them paid for the meal and extra for the staff to clean up their mess, then quickly
took now unconsious Temari outside.

Outside the restaurant

"Holy crap! Today.... Today was full of unexpected things, it's been a long time
since I was this stunned." Ino panted as she looked at Temari, who was now being
held by Sakura.

"Indeed, this is the first time I've seen Temari be this emotional. I hope she gets
better by tomorrow, now we should bring her home." Sakura swiped her sweat,
catching her breath.

"What! You can't! Can't you see her whole problem was family issues? If we bring
her home now, I'm afraid there will be more problems after that. Furthermore,
Shikamaru is probably asleep now. If we wake him up and explain all the things
that happened earlier, he will ask more and more questions about Temari, with a
worried face and won't be able to fall asleep. Trust me, I know that guy all too well,
he's a busy man, let him rest. I will talk to him by tomorrow." Ino said, her words
amazed Sakura, that Ino could be so reasonable for once.

"Then where should we let her stay tonight? Your house or mine?" Sakura asked.
Ino looked at her, placed both hands on Sakura's shoulders, smiled:

"Well well, since I already have to clarify with Shikamaru tomorrow, and if you
didn't try to take her sake bottle, there wouldn't have been such a mess. Besides, a
good doctor needs to take care of her patients, right? Doctor Haruno?"
"That damn Pig-Ino, one day I will settle this one-on-one with you." Sakura
grumbled as she carried Temari back to her house. Suddenly, she remembered
something earlier, and looked at Temari.

What do you mean, especially not me?

The next day....

Temari woke up with a headache, slowly opened her heavy eyes, then remembered
what had happened yesterday. She immediately got up, but this horrible headache
and exhaustion restrained her from moving too fast. The last thing she
remembered was drinking like crazy to cope with the overwhelming emotions last
night, then having a conversation with... Ino? or Sakura? She had no idea.

Then the nausea kicked in. She covered her mouth, ran to the bathroom, her vision
was blurry but still realized that this wasn't her home. Just when she thought she
couldn't hold it anymore, she saw a familiar pink-haired woman guiding her to the
bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, for all the trouble I caused yesterday." Temari said, feeling
much better after a shower and a hot bowl of rice with miso soup for lunch, "I
shouldn't have drunk that much."

"It's fine, Temari, Shikamaru already asked for a day off for you, he asked me to
take care of you and will come by this evening, so don't worry about it and get
some rest. I know you had a bad day, and sometimes I just want to drink forever to
get rid of those horrible feelings away, but you couldn't imagine how shocked I and
Ino were, and Sarada too (lol)." Sakura gave Temari a cup of hot green tea and sit
down.
Temari had a sip and smiled gently. "Thanks Sakura, but I have to...

*crack*

The cup on Temari's hands cracked; no, she didn't break it, it just suddenly
cracked, the room filled with silence....

"What the.... I, I will get another cup." When Sakura returned with a new one, again,
she noticed an expression on Temari's face that she had never seen before.

Fear
 Danger
*Drip....drip...*

He could taste it in his mouth, felt it running out of his nose, too much
that it became harder for him to breath, and felt its warmth on his
stomach. The white shirt he was wearing slowly tainted with bloody
red, around his hip, dripped to the ground, it didn't stop bleeding.

*Huff Huff Huff*

"Why...why did you do this!? I TRUSTED YOU!!"

He yelled, in despair, and tried one last time with the Shadow
Imitation jutsu, his hand aching from weaving the hand signs, but the
jutsu is getting weaker due to the lack of chakra and exhaustion.
There's nothing he can do now, he couldn't think of any strategy
anymore, no matter how hard he tried, the power gap between them
was simply too great.

"..."

The man didn't reply, just approached him with a relaxed manner, he
was large, muscular and fast, the jutsu no longer had any impact on
him anymore. The distance between them is getting shorter...

*Huff Huff*
Shikadai grabs the kunai stabbed in his stomach, his hand shaking,
preparing for the last attack. Gritting his teeth, tries to endure the pain
and fear, then immediately takes the kunai out of his stomach and
jumps toward him...

*BAMMMM!!*

But all he could feel afterwards was the immense pain on his face, his
stomach, the bone on his nose broken, a tooth starting to loosen off,
and the coldness of the ground against his face... He tried to move his
legs with all his strength, but now the chance of getting out here alive
seems impossible.
Just when Shikadai got up on all four, the man stepped hard on his
back, make him lied back down again. Then turned over his body using
one leg, he was playing around, like a predator playing with its prey
before devouring it. The man looked at his eyes, smiling gently, slowly
put a foot on his right leg, and....

*CRACK!*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

He could hear his bones breaking before letting out an agonizing

scream, twitching and holding the broken leg. More blood flowed out of
his stomach, so much so that he began to feel dizzy, his face was
getting paler, and every breath was torturous for him, he choked on his
own blood and coughing hard...
But the pain was pale in comparasion to what he was feeling, fear,
sadness, anger and hatred. He hated himself for being so stupid, so
immature, so naive. He regretted saying hurtful words to his mom,
regretted not being able to apologize to her, to his dad, to his friends
and those who he had wronged... And now he's going to die here all
alone before could say sorry to them, like a coward, leaving his loved
one nothing but pain...

On the other hand, everything was peaceful, from the warm orange
hue of the sunset, the gurgling sound of nearby streams, chicks on the
trees were chirping, waiting for their parents to feed them. And the
wind...a pleasant breeze of wind, seemed like it was soothing his pain,
it reminded him of someone...

"..."

Then tears started building up in his eyes...one...two and countless of

tears running out non stop, he missed his mother, he missed her face,
her smile, her food andher nagging, everything....

!!

Suddenly, he felt a hand was wiping off his tears, gently stroke his hair,
caress his bruise face. Maybe it was his hallucination, but he didn't
care, because the warmth was real. It hurts to even open his mouth,
but he managed to speak one last time before blacking out...

"...Mom... I'm sorry...."

"Oh kid, you can't die yet, not yet."

Old man
*Huff....Huff*

Panting, I stare at the seemingly endless void below, there was no sound of my
backpack dropping on the ground, suggesting the hole is much deeper than I
expected. Sweating, I hold the kunai tighter, it is the only thing keeping me alive
right now, seconds away from death. I squint my eyes to look for the backpack,
even though it's impossible at midnight, as if the moonlight is bright enough to see
through that blackhole, I scoff. Dangling on the kunai, I put my foot on the
surrounding wall and run out of the hole as fast as I can.

"Phew..."

Thinking back, it was indeed reckless to leave Konoha and go beyond the safe zone
of the woods at midnight. But for once, I want to leave everything behind, and I
don't want to see her face right now after everything she's said to me. It seems
ridiculous, but at least it's reasonable for me to take a break from all that mess, to
escape from her helicopter parenting, and to do what I want to, but the situation
now isn't good. Since the time I got out of Konoha, it's been 5 or 6 hours. Suppose
it's around 1 am at the moment, in the middle of nowhere, far from the safe track
of the forest, I lost all the food, water, and equipments in that hole, not to mention
I've no experience or survival skills in the forest either.
...But I'm sorry to say that sometimes this world isn't all pink and butterflies...

...

Clenching my fist, I take a deep breath.

I'll show you that I can survive alone, without your protection, and that you are
wrong!

Looking around, everything is pitch black, but I know for sure the area here is full of
trees, fruits, berries and nuts. "Luckily", before losing my flashlight in that hole, I've
had a good look and even found a lake nearby, which can help me stay hydrated.
Furthermore, a trap here means there are humans nearby, probably meant to lure
other animals coming to this area searching for food. Could be a hunter or the
locals, whoever that person is, they certainly know the terrain well, maybe they can
even help me find a way back home.

"No need to panic.", I calm myself down. Of course, I can't be careless with
strangers either.
"Hmm, this tree looks good.", touching the tree's trunk and estimating its size, I
climb up, trying to find a branch big enough to sleep on while hoping there are no
snakes around, or it would be really troublesome. I take off my jacket to brush off
any dirt and leaves, then tie my leg over a tree branch to prevent falling.

I look up at the sky, enjoying the starry night, a sense of peace and tranquility that
somehow clears my mind a little. I close my eyes, trying to sleep, hoping
"tomorrow" will be better. However, how exhausted I was, I couldn't sleep, the
wind is unusually cold and loud tonight, every breeze is freezing, and the howling
sends chills down my spine. Of course, I'm in a forest, but still...

Next morning...

"Come on, come on..." Spinning the stick faster, my hands are getting swollen.

*Snap*

"DAMN IT!", I threw the broken wooden stick out of frustration, this is the fifth time
already and there's still no fire, or even a little smoke! It's noon already, if it wasn't
for that stupid trap. I went down that hole this morning again to look for my bag,
but even sunlight couldn't reach the bottom, it keeps getting deeper and deeper,
an infinite void of darkness. Eventually, I had to give up before it got too
dangerous, to the point I'm wondering if the purpose of this trap was to trap
animals at all.

*Sniff sniff*

Maybe, I should clean myself first before getting back to that fire.

At the lake...
All I want is the best for you, why couldn't you understand!?

Your father is way too easy on you, if you keep getting distracted, you'll never achieve
any goals!

If you keep being weak like this, you'll have no chance of surviving on the battlefield!
Goodness, kids these days are way too relaxed about everything, maybe peace has
its cons as well.

You are my son but why you're nothing like me? When I was your age, I already...

*Splash splash splash*

I rinse my face multiple times to get rid of these thoughts, her words are like a
small, harmless needle prick in your skin, but over time they accumulate, and
before I realize, how much damage they've done to me. And you wonder why I
rarely open up my feelings with you when dad is way more understanding and
relatable than you ever can. All you do is nagg... nagg... nagg...

"HEY KID!"

A sudden voice came from behind, breaking my thoughts. I turned around to see
who it was.

He is a large man, around late 50s, has a huge beard, and is wearing something like
I'd imagine a nomad would wear. He is holding something familiar....Ah!! That's my
bag!

"IS THIS YOURS?"

Back in the fire place...

"HAHAHA I'm sorry, kid! Last time, either a bear or some thieves snitched my prey,
so I had to dig the hole deeper. You were wondering how I got that bag? Well look
at this kid."

He weaves hand signs and slams his palm on the ground, a massive piece of land
slowly rises up from the hole and fills it completely. Traces of blood can be seen on
the surface, so his chakra nature is earth huh...

"Are you a shinobi? But you don't look like someone who belongs to any
community, what are you doing here?" I put my hand nearer to the fire he made.
Apparently, he is extremely experienced in the woods, he showed me how to make
a fire, fishing, navigating, and even craving a bowl out of wood. At first I was wary of
him, but throughout the time, he was a genuine man and I see no signs of threat, or
any reason for him to do so, but I still need to be careful.

"Isn't that question more suitable for you, kid? Why did you run away?" He is
looking at my headband tied around the jacket.

"Oh, well, about that..."

"Don't tell me you had an argument with your parents and decided to leave, like
that rebellious teenager stereotype." He laughs at me jokingly.

"......"

Hang on a minute.

"Hey kid, don't tell me..."

"Wait, you know Konoha!? The Hidden Leaf village, you know that place, right? Can
you please help me get back there? I'm begging you." I suddenly remember that he
regconized Konoha's headband, oh thank goodness.
"Woah woah! Slow down, kid, of course I know where Konoha is, but first tell me
your situation, why are you here?"

"Uhm, well... just like you said." I scratch my back and avoid eye contact, because
it's so damn embarrassing. He looks at me, silent and more serious, waiting for an
answer.

"Ugh, what a drag." I sigh.

....

"I gotta say, your mother really was a bit cruel, but to be honest, what you said to
her was crueler. Instead of facing the problem, you ran away out of rage, you seem
like a bright one, and that doesn't make much sense to me kid. Is there any reason
behind that?" He talked slowly, his tone was half understanding and half criticizing.

"..."

"She..."

"She always finds something about me that is not good enough, at the academy or
in my hobbies, like every thing I do has to be supervised, to be judged, what time I
need to get home, how much time I spend on games, like I'm not a robot, you
know! She's not like that all the time, I know she cares for me, a lot, but she has no
idea how awful it is to feel like you will never be good enough. She never
considered other people's feelings when she acted like that, it's so irritating."
"..."

"So I want to leave for a moment, I want her to know that I've had enough, to let
her know that her words have consequences, to show that I can live well without
her supervising me all the time."

This is the first time I've directly expressed this much to a person, not even dad, but
a total stranger. But this old man gives out a pleasant vibe that makes you feel safe
around him, he kind of reminds me of Lord Seventh.

He was silent for a moment, then nodded his head.

"Hmm, I see why you are feeling that way, I understand why you acted like that, I
understand... But."

"But?"

"Kid, tell me, how much do you know about your mother?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, have you ever thought of why she behaves that way?"

"..."

"*Sigh*, follow me, kid, I want to show you something."

"Wha...What!!"

Impermanence
I don't know why I agreed to go with him, it's incredibly risky, but a part of me,
wanted to know why...
After 10-15 minutes of walking, a sight of a small log house can be seen. It seems he
cuts a few trees surrounding the house for space, there is a clothes rack, a garden,
and lying next to the house is something I didn't expect to see—a grave. I was
thinking of scenarios why it's there, which makes me wonder if he's currently living
alone or not.

"Come on in kid." He said while opening the door, waiting for me to come in. I
hesitated, should I go inside?

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not going to kill you. What? You think I'm some sort
of serial killer who lures his victims in movies? HAHAHA." He laughs at my worried
face, ahhhhh this old man is so troublesome, "Whatever" I step in.

I was expecting another person, but no one is around. There is only one big room in
the house, not much stuff here: a dining table, two chairs, a cabinet, some utensils,
glass jars on a shelf, a fireplace in the middle of the house, and that's it. It's
surprising that he can live like this for who knows how long.

"Do you live alone?" When I turned back, he was kneeling, staring at something on
the cabinet next to his bed. It's a family photo: two little kids, a boy around my age,
and a girl, probably 6 or 7 years old. A man and a woman, both seem to be in their
30s. All of them look happy, grinning and holding each other. The man is clearly
him but looks 20 years younger, so he has a family, but where are they?

"They were my family, lovely wasn't it?" He said with a grin, but I notice sadness in
his eyes.

Were?

Ahhh... so that grave is....

Now looking at the picture again, I realize they were standing in front of light
brown buildings, behind them were giant cliffs of rock, and the way they dressed
looked like they lived in a desert...
"Are you from the Sand Village?" And were? What happened to your family?" I
asked, eyes wide open.

"Yes, I'm from the Sand Village, and my family....they passed away a really long
time ago." He's stopped smiling. We both fall silent for a solid minute, then he
continues.

"You know, back in my day, everything was hard, the village was in extreme
poverty, water scarcity, high crime rates, and constant threats from outside
invaders. We always lived in fear, that a war could break out at any time. Most
people grew up orphaned or with a single parent, widows and widowers were
common and a family with two parents was considered lucky. The children didn't
have it easy either, shinobi was a dominant occupation at that time, most of them
were raised to be one, to go through grueling training and to serve the Kazekage
and protect the village. It's not rare to see them die during the process, whether in
a mission or in academy. People had no mercy, even kids as young as my daughter,
both of them were killed not long after this picture was taken."

"..."

"We couldn't stand the pain, especially my wife, she cried every single night, would
hug their clothes and toys all day. Sometimes she hallucinated that they were still
alive and screamed their name whenever she saw kids their age. Hope and despair,
again and again, it's a sin to let her live like this every day, in that village. So we
moved out, all the way here, so that at least she can live peacefully with nature,
that she won't have to face anything that reminds her of them. Things were getting
better, she stopped grieving and smiled again, at that time, she was already 8
months pregnant, we were expecting another baby, I was hoping the child could
bring her happiness again...."

He keeps his head down, silent, for a really long time. I couldn't say anything
except placing my hand on his shoulder.

"I'd been looking for her for years, although I knew there was no hope, I had a
feeling she had that intention before. Then, after 5 years, I finally found her. In the
abyss of a valley, far away from our home, where sunlight couldn't reach, the only
remaining parts of her were just bones, and bones of the baby inside her womb.
She left nothing, probably she also wanted me to forget her, about everything." He
slowly touched the faces in the picture and sighed.

Oh god, this is utterly horrible, I couldn't imagine what he has to go through every
day. I don't know how he could still smile after all that, I'd have gone insane. Was
the sand village really that bad?

"But do you know what I regret the most? I still can't forgive myself to this day, for
not spending enough time with my family, not being able to protect them, I failed
as a father and a husband. That's why, kid, please, appreciate your family
whenever you can, you don't know if tomorrow they will stay with you or not, this
world can be very cruel." He looks at me, hoping I understand something.

....

Is...Is it possible that mom also went through something similar? Judging by the
old man's age and the picture, she would be around my age at the time. To always
live in danger, when you could die at any moment, every day throughout your life.
The risk of losing family members was high, is that why she's being overprotective
of me? Push me to be stronger? That weakness meant dead? So I won't have to
suffer the same thing she did? Even though time has changed, but maybe....the
trauma is still there...?

"I...I didn't know the village was that bad, my mom rarely talks about her
childhood, all I know about her family side is she has 2 brothers, their parents also
died when they were young. Besides, I don't know anything about her life when she
was in the Sand, she never go into details when I asked. Is it because she's also
been through something traumatizing, that she doesn't want to remember? Or
maybe, her controlling personality also stem from that reason?"
"You are a smart one, kid, that's what I want to hear. When you go through
something bad, you don't want to repeat it, to make sure it never happens again,
to you or your family, it's simple. I mean, it's possible that your mother has gone
through something like that, but it doesn't justify her mistakes in how she raises
you. Like she said, a tragic backstory isn't a free pass, maybe I'm thinking too
much, or she's probably just a strict mother HAHAHA!!."

"..."

"But" He said "What I know is, she's definitely really hurt when you said you don't
want her to be your mother."

"...."

I feel like a complete piece of trash right now.

"I hope you mother and son can have a thoughtful conversation when you get
home, and don't ever say that to her again, alright? Anyway, I know it's pretty soon
for dinner, but you'll need energy on the way back home. Today I will treat you like
my biggest guest! Come on kid, let's go... kid... are you alright?"

Suddenly, my cheeks feel very hot and wet. I turn away because I don't want him to
see my tears, gosh....this is so embarassing, and unmanly, I chuckled.

"Hey hey! You're more sentimental than I thought, boy. I didn't expect you to shed
tears this early, and you said you could live well without her protection, what a
man HAHAHA!!!" He puts his arm over my shoulder, laughing.

"Hah...shut up old man." I sniff and thrust his hip.

Outside the house...

He blew out a small flame to make a bonfire, I eat the last grilled salmon and drink
a sip of his homemade berry wine, it's delicious but mom would probably go mad if
she was here. Finish eating, I ask him something I've wanted to since we got
outside.

"Old man."

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry to ask this, you said your children were killed... right? And is the reason
you are here now. If you had a chance to meet the killer, would you forgive him?"

He contemplates for a while, then stands up, walks to the grave and looking at the
names carved on it, I follow him.

"I suppose I would, like I said, life was hard for everyone, that person was just doing
their job and my kids were just unlucky. It's the government that's unforgivable,
they couldn't protect their people and it's always us villagers that have to suffer.
Besides, I can't bring them back even if I seek revenge, so what's the point? I've
accepted my fate kid." He said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry..."

"Nah, don't worry, I'm fine kid! Not to say my family, they probably don't want to
see me suffer either, so sometimes it's best to move on, for them and for
yourself..."

He touchs the grave gently, we stand there for a few more minutes, silent, he looks
like he's talking with them through those eyes. Then we return to the fire.
"But I didn't know you also have a fire chakra nature old man."

"Yes, I have two chakra natures, earth and fire, even though in my village wind was
the most dominant element. Not to brag, but I was considered a dark horse kid. But
now I remember, earlier on you mentioned that your mom was also from the Sand,
is that right?" He said curiously.

"Yeah, she was born and raised in the sand, until she married my father and moved
to Konoha. Sometime she would take me back to her hometown to visit my uncles,
the village now is very peaceful, and people generally have a good life, I'd say."

"That's good to hear, eh? Do they still have shinobis though?"

"Yeah, they have! Children still train to be shinobis if they want to, but not as
extreme as your time, they are well protected, don't worry, the village has changed
a lot." The man smiles, wanting to hear more.

"Oh, and we have scientific ninja tools now, my mom often complains kids will stop
training hard and stop using traditional weapons. She has a war fan and is very
proud of it, so you can't imagine how excited she is whenever a kid uses a war fan
as their weapon. I'm thinking of having one in my arsenal, they are....

"Old man? Are you ok?"

He suddenly looks like he saw a ghost, did I say something wrong?

"Oh, nothing kid, I'm alright, please continue."

"..."

SHIKADAI!! SHIKADAI!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?

Huh? This voice is...

Auntie Ino?!

Oh thank goodness, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!! EVERYONE IS LOOKING
FOR YOU!!

...I'm sorry...

Don't say that to me! Save it for your parents. Anyway, are you ok?

I'm fine, I just made a friend who appearently knows a way back to Konoha, I
promise I'll come home today.

What? A friend!? Shikadai, for whatever reason, stay away from that "friend", and
stand right where you are after, your mother is coming, just about 10 more minutes,
YOU HEAR ME!?

Un...Understood!

Good, the rescue team will also arrive, it's our responsibility to assist you home
safely. We'll see you back home and let's hear what you've got to say to everyone!

Oh man, I'm in a huge trouble, if auntie Ino is this mad, I can't imagine mom's rage,
but well....I kind of deserve it.
"Uhm, old man, I know it's so sudden, but I gotta go now, my mom, she's coming.
Thanks a lot for today, if it's possible, can you please sometimes visit me? I'll treat
you like my biggest guest! Goodbye!"

I grinned and gave him a hug, but just before I'm about to leave. He suddenly grabs
my wrist, a little forcefully.

"I'm sorry kid, before you go, can I ask one last question?"

Huh? His hand is... shaking?

"..."

"Sure..."

He closed his eyes, trying to calm down...

...

His hand is now firm, then he looks at me straight in the eyes, dead serious.
Somehow....I have a bad feeling about this.

"Kid..."

"What is your mother's name?"

Wind
Wiping off blood from the kid's nose and mouth, then tearing off her kimono's left
shoulder's cloth, ties it tightly around his stomach to stop the bleeding, before
feeding him some kind of medicine taken from the rescue dog's uniform's pocket.
In less than a minute, she had already completed performing first aid on that kid,
everything was done so swiftly, without a single extra movement, like a trained
paramedic, not a mother in front of her dying son. The dog runs away, probably to
call for help.

He stands up, because he's been sitting behind them all this time so he couldn't
see her facial expression. But that blonde hair, ties into four pigtails, and that giant
fan on the back—without a doubt, that's the woman who tore his life off like a
piece of paper and burned it down into nothing.
She starts standing up and turns around, facing him. Those green, sharp eyes are
just like the kid's, yet unlike his bright ones, they're much darker and.....

Unpredictable.

There is no rage or any sort of reaction he expected to see—just a blank,

emotionless face staring at him, like when his children were killed.

But now the situation has reversed.

"Remember me, kid?" He said with a smile.

She doesn't reply, just slowly walking toward him, unfolding the metal sheets of
the fan one by one. He noticed something dripping out of her right palm and onto
the ground, it's blood.

"It seems like you aren't totally a heartless per....

"FUUTON: KAMAITACHI NO JUTSU!" (Wind Scythe)

A gigantic cluster of wind blew out from that fan, the screeching sound of it could
damage anyone's eardrums near by. It blows down the entire area, cutting multiple
trees into logs and creating a giant fog of dusts. He could already predict the attack
the moment she started moving her arm, he ran to hide behind the house before
the wind was released. The dust is fading, but she wasn't there. He carefully looks
around for any sign of her attack.

...
Behind!

"KAMAITACHI!"

Again huh? Then...

...Tiger...Snake...

He weaves the signs, and...

"Doton: Doryuheki no jutsu" (Earth-style Wall)

A gigantic wall appeared from the ground to protect him from the raging wind.
Even though the wall successfully blocked the attack, it starts crumbling down
after, just strong enough to counter the Wind Scythe.

But he's not finished..

...Rat...Tiger...Dog...

"Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu" (Phoenix Immortal Fire)

Countless of small fireballs shot out of his mouth, aiming directly at her and the
area around. Fire elements are stronger against wind because it enhances fire's
range and damage so wind users have a disadvantages against fire users. She
raises her eyebrows, closes her fan, and quickly flees from that area, disappearing
into the forest, which caught him off guard. He never expected to see her run away,
especially after what he'd done to that kid.

He still keeps a close eyes on him. The boy is still lying over there, she didn't even
hesitate to take him. She could have summoned a clone and brought him back
home while can still fight him, maybe she knows that he will do anything to catch
up with them, it only makes her more vulnerable while protecting the boy and
fighting him at the same time, that'd be too risky. Unless she knew the man's real
intention—that he wanted to defeat her first and kill the kid in front of her.

Hmm, pretty sharp. Fine, I'll play with you, fair and square.

...

Running across the forest, that woman won't go anywhere far, she's definitely
planning on something, the sky is slowly turning dark and it will be a disadvantage
for...

Hmm?

He turned his head when suddenly a flash of light shot up on the ground, and...

*BOOM!!!*

An explosion breaks out, leading to several explosions to occur around the area,
burning the ground and scaring off the animals.

Explosive tags huh? How childish.

He jumped just in time, landing on a tree branch.

*Clang*

Huh?
A sound of something like a pulled wire string snaps out, and...

*BOOOOOM!!!*

Another explosion comes up.

"Tsk"

He clicks tongue, jumps far away to the other trees, but he doesn't notice the wire
from that tree earlier connected the fire from the explosion to other trees around
him, and those trees also have explosive tags tied around by the wires.

*BOOOOOM BOOOOOOOMM BOOOOOM!!!!*

A consecutive chain of massive explosions breaks out, the ground is shaking hard,
the fire is burning some deer and rabbits to crisp, causing the cry of nearby
animals.

"DAMN IT!"

He jumps high to the sky to avoid the forest fire below. But she's already above him
with the fan open and...

"FUUTON: OKAMAITACHI NO JUTSU!!" (Great Wind Scythe)

An even bigger current of sharp wind blows down at him, the wind slams him down
into that forest fire, as there's no way to dodge it in mid-air.

She's not done, landing in the safe area, holding the fan with both hands, and...
FUUTON: TATSU NO OSHIGOTO!" (Sea Dragon)

An enormous tornado appeared from the sky, tearing off anything in its path. Both
of the natural elements combine and create a giant fire tornado. The wind makes
the fire even more intense, it lights up the whole forest, a literal hellhole that burns
everything down into ashes. No one can survive such heat.

She closes her fan, paying attention, to see if he's dead yet.

If I hadn't used this technique earlier, I'd be cut to pieces."

He dashes out of the fire, towards her with great speed, his entire body covered in
rocks, that might have also protected him from the fire, maybe the rocks were also
mixed with his chakra to increase it's toughness . Until now, it's known for sure that
she mainly uses wind nature, prefers long-range fighting, and avoids close combat,
and taijutsu (martial arts) maybe is her weakness.

Then I won't let you keep any distance.

She was taken off guard, having no time to get away from him.

*CLANG!!*

The clashing of the metal fan and the rock creates fire sparks sparking over both of
them, she was pushed back by his crazy stregth. He's throwing punches after
punches and kicks after kicks at her, she struggles to keep up with his speed. All she
can do is block his attack with the fan, if this carries on, she won't be able to keep
any distance and will soon be knocked out...

"You're basically useless without this fan huh?" He smirked.

"BANG!!"

Using all his strength, he threw one last punch into the fan. The clanging sound of
metal hurts her ears, she can feel the fan cracking. The pressure of that punch sent
her flying away, slamming her back on a tree. Shocked and dizzy, but this is a
chance to...

"I won't let you get away!"

...Rat..Horse..Dog..Snake...

"DOTON: GANCHURO NO JUTSU!" (Stone pillar prison)

Several stone pillars strike up from the ground, surrending her from every side,
leaving no way to escape. She jumps up and runs on a pillar to escape through the
top hole in the sky. Just as she is about to reach the top, he quickly withdraws the
pillars, leaving her tripping in the middle of the air.

..Snake..Monkey..Tiger..

"KATON: GOUKAKYU NO JUTSU!" (Fireball)

A giant fireball was released from his mouth and launched directly at her. If she
uses any wind jutsu, it will only enhances the fire, she can't escape in mid-air
either.

"Tch"
she blocks the fire with her fan, which seems like the only solution, just when the
fire goes off...

*CRASH!!*

He threw the kunai so hard that it pierced through her fan in mid-air and stuck in it,
almost stabbing her face. Luckily, her good reflex saved her on...

*Pshhhhhhhhhh...*

An explosive tag on the kunai!

She immediately throws the fan away in his direction. But he wasn't there, in fact,
all she can see is a giant fist coming to her face, 10cm away before crushing her
skull. She's in mid-air, the fan is gone, there's no time for her to cast any jutsu,
there's no way she could dodge this one.

Finally, I can..

*SPLASH*
Blood splashed everywhere, rain of blood dropping to the ground, turning the
green grass into crimson red.

But It wasn't her blood...

...

Kuchiyose... (Summoning)

He drops on the blood bath from great height, rocks falling off his body...

KIRI KIRI MAI! (Blade Dance)

In a blink of an eye, he could see a sight of a white weasel behind her. Before fully
knowing what's happening, he feels like he was cut into a thousand pieces; red was
all he could see, before being covered by darkness. Now he realized what truly
happened. The summoning was done before their fight in the forest, she knew she
had no chance in close combat, and that fan is her greatest asset in battle. She
gave out these informations, just to wait for the moment he thought he had won,
then...

"Ugh... *cough cough*" He coughed up blood. The weasel cut through his rock
armor and his flesh, shallow and deep cuts are all over his body, some cuts are so
deep that it almost reach his bones. There's not a single part of his body that
doesn't covered in blood.

She pulled out a scroll from a pocket tied to her trouser, unfolded it.
*Puff*

A fan was summoned, replace the previous one which was blown into pieces.

*Clang*

Even though face down, he could see she was looking at him, with those same
eyes, those eyes looking at his children's corpses, without a slightest sign of pity or
sadness.

Nothing has changed, the boy is still alive and has a family to care for him, while his
is still dead in agony. Nothing has changed, she still comes home uninjured, with
comfort and hot meals and a family waiting for her. Nothing has changed, he's still
alone, nobody came for him. One's life ends in tragedy, the other is living their best
life without any consequences, nothing has changed...

For a moment, he wished she could've just finished him off.

But...

"I'll never forgive..."

Moving his arms and legs, she's walked away, unaware.

"I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE FOR WHAT YOU DID!!!"

He sprints in her direction with incredible speed, one arm covered in rocks, his
hand clenched into a fist. The distance between them is closer and closer, he's now
only two meters away behind her back.

!!!

Startled, she turned her head...

"DIEEEEEEE!!!!

"KAMAITACHI NO JUTSU!!"

*Huff...huff*

Panting, she peeks out behind a tree, squinting her eyes to search for him in the
dust. Above, below, left, right, behind, front...

Ten seconds have passed and he's nowhere to be seen.

...

Suddenly, her face paled after realizing something, and her heart dropped a beat.

Don't tell me...

Karma
*Huff...Huff...Huff*

Her lungs and heart are working at full capacity to keep up with her pace. Even
though the distance between them is only 5 minutes of running, it feels like forever.
The never-ending sight of forest trees is driving her insane. In this short moment,
she was overwhelmed with pure terror, she can't feel her legs anymore, only
rushing in despair while praying continuously that he's still alive.

...Please...please....don't do this to me...please...

After passing through infinite rows of trees. Far away, the worst scenario is about to
happen right in front of her. The man is on the opposite side, and her still-
unconscious son is laying on the ground, powerless. He pulls out a kunai, holding it
up high...
"STOOOOOOOOOOOPPP!!!!!"

Screaming at the top of her lungs, she concentrates chakra into both hands, spins
her body and throws the fan at him with full force. Her raw strength combined with
the infused chakra applied a tremendous amount of pressure to that fan. Like a
massive rifle bullet, it's spinning rapidly and breaking through every tree in its
path, without its trajectory being deflected.

..15..10..5..

The fan is now 3 meters away from him, if he kills the kid now, it also means he will
die, but if he dodges it, chances are...

"BANG!!!"

"SPLASH!"

He swung his left arm to knock the fan out, and it completely broke through the
rock and blew his left arm off, blood spilling on the ground like a fountain from his
amputated arm. He didn't even flinch from pain, he would do anything just to kill
this kid right now. His right hand swings down instantly, centimeters away before
the kunai slice his neck. Centimeters away before her hand grabs on him...

*Whoosh*
She grabbed the kid's shirt and threw him out of the way. But at the same time, she
felt like a hot iron was shoving in her right shoulder, burning off her flesh, melting
the bones inside her arm, and the cracking sound of bones lingering in her ears.

*WHAM!!*

He punched and stabbed her right arm at the same time with that kunai, sending
her flying into the log house, bursting through the first wall, and slammed into the
interior inside. All the utensils and stuff were knocked down and covered in dust.
The kunai stucks in her right arm, just below the shoulder. The wound is so deep
that 3/4 of the kunai is buried inside her flesh. Blood slowly staining the kimono,
turning it from purple to dark red.

Clenching both hands, trying to push herself up, ignoring the torturous pain in her
right arm...

*SLAM!*

But before she could get up, he kicked her to the wall, stepping one foot on her
chest. One hand grapping the kunai on her shoulder, and...

*SPLASH!!*
"ARGHH!"

She grunned out of pain as he pulled out the kunai. With nothing blocking her
wound, blood comes out even more, flowing down her arm.

"If it wasn't for you, they wouln't have died...."

He said coldly, pressing his feet harder on her chest. *Coughing*, breathing is now
becoming more difficult for her.

"Do you have any idea how much pain you caused for my family, hmm? He begged
you and begged you, again and again, to spare his sister life, but you didn't even
hesitate...didn't even hesitate to kill a six-year-old child...", He said, clenching his
fist.

She didn't reply, nor did she make eye contact with him, just keeping her head
down and silent.

"Why?...Why did you do that? You literally had no reason to kill them, in such a
painful way..."

He said with a shaky voice. Rage started to build up.

Still no answer, except this time she slowly puts her left hand on his foot, shaking
from trying to push the foot away, but still not looking at him.
He grits his teeth, pins her harder against the wall.

"YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN IN FRONT OF THEIR MOTHER!!! WHY DID YOU KILL
THEM!?! WHY DID YOU KILL MY CHILDREN?!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

In rage, he kicked her multiple times on the chest, body, stomach and face; the wall
is shaking due to the pressure of his kicks. He then grabs her neck and...

*CRASH!!!*

*Splash!*

He dragged her along the shelf of jars, slamming her body against it, the broken
glass pierced through her skin and all over her body. He slams her into the table
and beats her up again, blows after blows, then throws her against the carbinet like
a piece of rag, picks her up and repeats the process again, again and again, again
and again and again and again and again... *CRASH!* *CRASH!* *CRASH!*. To the
point where all of the furniture, the floor, the ceiling, and walls are shattered and
spilled with blood.

*Huff...Huff*

Holding her neck up high, he is breathing hard from exhaustion. He feels like his
remaining arm is about to fall off too.
*...drip...drip...*

A small puddle of blood forms as blood drips from her body, along her foot, and
onto the floor. He releases his hand...

*thud*

She is now lying on the ground, face down. She said nothing this whole time, not
even groaning in pain. He makes sure not to kill her too quick, not until..

"I'm sorry..."

...

"I don't remember killing your son....or your daughter, but *cough*.....my son has
nothing to do with this... you can kill me however you want. But please.... please
spare his life... I'm begging you, please...I'm very sorry for whatever I've done to
you, I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

She said quietly and slowly moved her hands and knees, kneeling, her head on the
ground, begging him, her body is trembling in pain. He is silent for a moment,
before stepping on her head and rubbing his feet against it.
"Don't remember?"

"Did you think I'd buy into that shit?"

He grabbed her hair, which had been loosened from the previous onslaught.
Pulling her head up and looking into her eyes, he couldn't see any sort of emotion
in it—not anger, sadness, pity, or fear—just dull and soulless like a dead person.
That speech earlier maybe was just an attempt to trick him, maybe she doesn't give
a shit about his sad backstory. Gritting his teeth, veins appeared on his forehead,
grabbing her hair tighter...

*BAM!!*

He threw her to the wall, breaking through it and she landed next to the grave
outside the house. She didn't even try to fight back anymore. He grabs her head to
face the grave.

"See the names on it? These are the people you've killed—all three, no, four of
them, do you remember now? Oh, and I'm not the one you should say sorry to.
Now apologize, apologize to them, apologize for what you've done, apologize,
apologize, APOLOGIZE!, APOLOGIZE!!! APOLOGIZE!!! APOLOGIZE!!!!!
APOLOGIZEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
*thud, thud, bang! bang! Bang! BANG! BANG! BANGG! BANGGGG!!
BANGGGGGGG!!!!*

With each "apologize", he slammed harder than the previous one. The man has lost
control, screaming and slamming her head on the grave continuously like a
maniac. Blood was splashing everywhere, onto the green grass, onto his hand, on
the grave, seeps into the soil, to the body buried below. He had a twisted idea that
her blood would somehow quench his family thirst for revenge. It's hard to believe
this man is the same person as the friendly, kind man an hour ago. For a brief
moment, remembering what needed to be done, he dropped her down, thinking
it's still too merciful to end her this way.

Watching him lying unconciously over there, with a bruised face, and the wound on
his stomach....he must have been in so much pain. The broken leg....he must have
been so desperated to return home. Traces of tears still remain on his cheeks... he
must have been so afraid...

*Cough*

Her right arm is broken, the fan is gone, with not much chakra left, and with these
injuries... the rescue squad will need at least an hour to arrive. She couldn't even
move a finger now, let alone save him and return home alive. His image is
becoming blurrier and blurrier, until it turns to complete darkness....
Mom! I can finally do the jutsu you taught me now. Look! Look!

...Rabbit...Bird...Rat...Dragon...Bird...

Fuuton: Kiryu Ranbu (Air current dance)

...

Wha...Why doesn't it work?! I...I swear I can do it just minutes ago!! This time....

MOM! Why are you laughing!? It's not funny!!

Ugh, what a drag....

SOMETIMES I WISH THAT YOU WEREN'T MY MOTHER!!!

If it wasn't for you! They wouln't have died such a painful dead...

Do you have any idea how much pain you have caused for my family?

"I'm surprised that you can still move, but it's too late now." He said while holding
the kid in mid-air, then dropped him down in front of her.

She's sitting on the soil, her back against the grave, head down. Her eyes fixed on
the kid, and an uncontrollable desire to embrace him grew inside her. She tried
moving her hand but couldn't, because he was stepping on it. She looks at him, her
eyes clearer than before.

"Your children...", she said with a monotone, but serious voice.

"Do you think they'll be happy? To see their father kill an innocent child? You're
just repeating their nightmare, in front of their tomb. Don't you feel sorry for them?

"..."
10...

"No, I think they'd be more happy to see their murderer get to taste her own
medicine instead. That's funny, I didn't expect someone like you to ask this type of
questions, the moral one, you know?"

9...

"I thought I had gotten over it, I thought revenge was meaningless, it doesn't
change anything, it won't bring them back. But I just couldn't bear, couldn't bear
seeing someone who still lives a comfortable life after everything she's done, and
receives no consequences. I'll make you feel my pain, I'll let you live and
experience every single moment of it, after the day you stole everything from me.
Starting with this kid..."

8...

He squatted down and caressed the boy's head gently.

"He is such a good boy, you know? A very clever, logical, yet empathetic young
man. He's much more mature than his age, although a little rebellious, and he
doesn't care much about social hierarchy. Despite his lanky figure, he is a decent
fighter who fights until the end, a true shinobi."
7...

"I like him a lot, he resembles my son too. When we interacted with each other,
eating together, sharing our stories and feelings. I felt like a part of me was alive
again you know? After all these years..."

6...

"However, my first impression of him was different. When he turned around at the
river, that face, and those eyes, they still haunt me in my dreams. I convinced
myself that it was just a coincidence, but after I got to know him. Someone comes
from the Sand, has a war fan, my gut feeling was getting louder and louder..."

5...

"I hoped that my intuition was wrong, but finally, it is what it is. What a shame, he
still has a whole life ahead of him, because he is unlucky enough to have you as his
mother. He talked about you a lot, how you disappointed him but cares for him at
the same time, he had issues with you but didn't know how to deal with it. Enough
is enough, he left, and met me. Then I gave advice to the son of my children's
murderer to help them repair their mother-son relationship. Don't you think it's
ironic? Temari."
4...

He's soooo much different from you. For a boy who's that compassionate and has a
big heart, you shouldn't have been his mother. You heard him, right? That you
make him feel bad about himself, that he hates you, that he doesn't need you, and
that he regrets having you as his mother. You know you failed him, when even a
stranger understands him more than his mother does. He was right all along, you
don't deserve to be a mother, you don't deserve his love. In fact, you don't deserve
anybody's love at all, whoever has loved you was wrong!"

"See? From the beginning, your son was in immense pain, he was on the brink of
death, he wouldn't stop crying, and you didn't even shed a tear. I wonder if you still
have the heart of a human being or not, because you certainly don't act like one
who has it. You killed my wife, my son, my daughter, my unborn child, and your
own son, soon, he will die because of you. Tell me, kid, have you ever felt sorry for
the lives you've taken? For the lives you've torn apart? Tell me! You disgusting
monster!"
2

"Well, I guess before leaving this world, I gotta do something useful for it, like
remove one scum off this planet, for a better future for humanity. I think after all
these years, God has decided it's time to punish you, and I'll let you have a taste of
your.....

Fear
"BARK BARK BARK!!"

"Uwaaaaaaaaaahh!!!!"

"HEY! PISS OFF YOU STUPID DOG!! OR I WILL CUT YOU UP!! GO!! SHOO SHOO!!"

The dog ran away in fear, whining, with its tail between his legs. But the girl didn't
stop crying, and he was trying to cheer her up.

"Hey, hey! I'm going to buy another ice cream for you, ok? Come on, please don't
cry, ok? Little girl?"

*Sniff* *Sniff*
"R...Really?"

"Yeah! Of course! A real man will never go against his words. Now tell me what your
favorite ice cream flavor is, and I'll buy you double of that. Doesn't that sound
superb!! Little princess?"

"I...I like vanilla *sniff*"

"Hehe, now that's a good girl!"

He grinned and wiped her tears, then bought a vanilla double scoop and gave it to
her. The girl's face after that was so precious and full of sunshine that it put a smile
on my face. It's rare to see someone who is a bully in school can be such a
gentleman outside. She waved goodbye and went on, leaving him with a smile.

Suddenly, he noticed someone was watching this whole time. He frowned.

...

"What the hell are you looking at?"

*Huff huff*
It's ok, it's ok, mommy's here, I...I will protect you, I will never leave you, I'll never let
you suffer...ok?

*Huff huff*

Stay....

STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!!!!

Oh kid, you can't die yet, not yet...

I'm sorry. But she's not always the same loving mother you always knew.
It's hot.

It's crazy hot.

Every part of my body is burning, as if my skin is slowly peeling off; the scorching
air is burning my nostrils and lungs. Like I was put in an cremation oven,
suffocated, waiting to be burned into ashes...

*GASP*

*COUGH COUGH*

In front of me is something I'd imagine hell to look like. The forest is on fire?!
Everything is on fire! The flame is so massive that it took me 5 seconds to realize it's
currently nighttime. I'd probably die before I could wake up, if not for the land
around me was empty and devoid of trees. But the fire keeps growing bigger and
bigger, and the heat is becoming more intense...

*Huff huff*

I breathe harder, gasping for air, because oxygen is becoming less due to the fire.

What?...What had happened?

...

That old man...

I touch my stomach and feel a cloth wrapped around my waist, it doesn't hurt
much compared to when I passed out. But my leg is broken, and it still hurts like
hell when I try to move. I can only move my upper half body, and I can't stand up.
But the fact that I'm still alive...

Someone has saved me.

But who?

And where is that old man?

*splat*

...

*splat*
*splat*

Some kind of sound kept repeating over and over in my ears, which I just noticed. It
sounds like someone is smashing a piece of meat—a very wet, watery, soft piece of
meat. It came from behind, and even though it's dark, I can see a little of what's
going on thanks to the fire.

A familiar-looking woman with her hair down, covering her face—is it blonde? Or
red hair? I can't tell the difference. She is wearing a dark-colored kimono, with the
left arm's cloth torn off. She is sitting on....

A body!?

And is constantly punching something on the ground with that left hand, creating
that splatting sound with each blow. The part where she is punching is sunk down
the ground, so I can't see what's over there. I try to reach my head higher, squinting
both eyes...

They are...

Just slightly saw a mere sight of that image gives me a headache, something that
probably will stay on my mind for a long time. An uncomfortable feeling is building
up in my stomach, pushing on my throat.

Oh no...

I can't hold it in anymore, it's coming out...

*Retch*

*Cough cough*

The smell of vomit was absolutely disgusting, it's all over my mouth and a little
spilled on my hand. I can't get rid of that scence in my head even when I close my
eyes. Still, I try to control my breathe and look up again...

...

She is staring straight at me, with wide eyes, her mouth is biting on something,
breathing heavily and her entire face is covered in blood. Not only was her face
stained red, but so was her hair, neck, and the front side of her kimono, and the
expression on her face is....

Traumatizing...

*thump*

Maybe, don't tell me she is...

"Mom?"

Her eyes widen, and we keep staring at each other like that, no one says a word.
Her face changed from rage, to shock, to gradually relaxing her expression, until
her inner eyebrows curled up together and...

She lowered her head and turned away to the other side, her shoulders are
trembling, like she's trying to hide something from me. But it happened very fast,
she quickly regained composure and wiping her eyes with her wrist, let out a deep
breath.

*Ptui*

She spit out something and stood up, slowly walking towards me. Her left hand is
holding her right arm, her posture is unstable and stumbling, almost tripping on
the ground. Her eyes doesn't move away from me this whole time...

*thump*

So that body is...

*Huff* *Huff*

She stopped in front of me, kneeling down and facing me, face to face. I can no
longer regconize her because of the blood and wounds, it is those green eyes that
tell me she's indeed, my mom.

She puts her hand on mine, they are shaking rapidly, she is trying really hard to
calm down. I can immediately feel the warmth of blood, and my hand is soaking
wet of it, but not just blood...

*thump thump*

She saved me, treated my injuries and killed off that man, who tried to take my life,
like every parents would do to protect their children. And I would hug her, to seek
for comfort, to cry out loud, to feel relieved and loved, like how every child would
do in this situation...

*thump thump thump*

Then why...
Why is my heart beating so fast? Why my hands are sweating and my body is
shaking? Why I don't feel safe or relieve at all? Why can't I bring myself to hug her
when I should be? Why do I wanted to get away from her? Why...

Who is this woman?

*CRACK! CRASHHHH!!*

The log house was on fire, it crumbled and collapsed, everything inside it was
burned down into nothing, everything belongs to that man, now gone with him...

I'm sorry. But she's not always the same loving mother you always knew.

Before I realized, her hand was already on my face, caress my cheeks. Aside from
the blood, I can feel something else on my face... something mushy... like ground
meat, the smell of blood makes me feel dizzy and wanted to puke again. I don't
know why I imagine this hand is smashing my face into pieces right now...

*Huff Huff*

My body is frozen...
I can't even lift my hands to weave any signs anymore, only staring at this woman,
hopeless and waiting for the worst...

...

But opposite to what I expected, she moves her fingers to my ear, slightly pinching
it.

"I'm sorry..."

She smiled.

But it was the most terrifying and heartbreaking smile I've ever seen.

Respite
*Flick flick*

I light up another cigarette to ease out my mind, which has been in turmoil for the
past hours. But no matter how much I smoked, I couldn't stop fidgeting around
and sighing. It seems like the staff also understands how I feel right now, because
they didn't even bother to tell me that it's prohibited to smoke in the hospital.
"Shikamaru, I know you're very worried, but we can't do anything for now. Sakura
is doing her best, I believe both of them will be fine. Listen to me, Shikamaru,
please go to rest."

Ino took the cigagrette out of my hand, this is the third time she has convinced me
to go home already. It's now 3 a.m in the morning, but how could I sleep knowing
my son is unconscious in bed while my wife is inside that operating room right
now. If it wasn't for the cigarettes and Ino stopping me, I'd probably couldn't stop
myself from bursting into that room...

"Ino, how were their conditions like when Chouji and the rescue team arrived?" I
put a new cigarette in my mouth and lit it. Again, how many packs have I smoked
since this afternoon?

Ino looked at me impotently, she looks exhausted too, but also sympathizing,
sighs:

"They found Temari lying unconsciously and Shikadai sitting next to her. He was on
the verge of breaking down, he kept shaking her and couldn't stop crying
throughout the time, until finally fainted on the way back. It looks like she tried to
carry him out of the fire, but passed out due to the injuries. They were very lucky
that the rescue team came on time and put down that fire, or else... I can't
imagine..."

Ino stopped, took a deep breath, and sighed again.

"Both of them are seriously injured, Shikadai had a broken nose and leg, a bruised
face, and a deep stab in his stomach. Fortunately, he was given first aid by Temari
so his situation wasn't so bad. But for her..."

Ino inhaled and held her breath. "Goodness", she murmured.

"Cuts and bruises were all over her face and body, Chouji said they were glass
fragments. Her right arm was stabbed and broken, as was her nose, a couple of her
ribs were broken as well, fractured skull, severe blood loss.... that's all I remember.
But he said she was completely decimated, there's not a single part of her body
that's not wounded, it's a miracle that she is still alive... Shikamaru!? Are you
okay!?"

Ino held my shoulder, tried to calm me down and made sure that I wouldn't
collapse on the floor, the cigarette dropped out of my mouth. Covering my face
with both hands, they can't stop shaking no matter how hard I try....They were
dying out there, and I couldn't do anything about it... just waiting for their news like
a useless, stupid idiot...

"Shikamaru, don't blame yourself, we did all we possibly could at that moment.
Naruto is conducting an investigation about that man right now, whom Shikadai
referred to as his "friend". As far as we know, he's dead and his house was burned
down, but I'm certainly sure that he's the one who attacked them. We will have to
wait until tomorrow for more details."

"..."

Both of us silent, sitting in front of the surgery room with its red light turned on.
Now I'm just hoping endlessly to see the light go out, then Sakura walks out and
announces that her condition has stabilized. This brings me back to the Sasuke
retrieval mission, I couldn't forget the anxiety that's slowly destroying my patient,
except this time they are a thousand times worse.

"But..."

Ino suddenly said.

"I've never seen Temari being that panic before, she went to the forest alone as
soon as she found out Shikadai wasn't in the village, like she knew something was
wrong. Usually we can't send out a rescue team unless there is enough evidence, or
an order from the higher-ups, but thanks to you Shikamaru, they at least took you
more seriously than us, and we were able to send them out as soon as possible."

"..."

"When I couldn't connect with Shikadai with my jutsu, I knew something was off, so
I contacted Temari to find out what'd happened, but she didn't answer me despite
the fact that the connection was fine. It's the last time I could hear from both of
them, after that, it's just silence. And that scared the shit out of me Shikamaru... I
rushed the rescue team to move faster, but in the end... they arrived too late..."

"..."

*Sigh*

"I have to go home now, don't be too hard on yourself. They'll be fine, I promised."
Ino patted my shoulder and stood up, she must have been tired after all these
madness.

"Ino, thanks a lot, really... I owe you a big favor this time."

"..."

"It's fine..."

She let out an empathetic smile and waved goodbye, leaving me alone in this
hospital corridor, waiting.

And I kept waiting—for god knows how long—until I couldn't open my eyes
anymore and my legs were stiff. The birds outside are chirping already...
Just when I was about to fall asleep on the chair...

"Shikamaru-san, your son is awake."

*Huff huff huff*

*SLAM!*

"Dad!..."

His eyes widen, and he looks really frail and sick, with bandages all over his body
and a cast on his broken leg. But I didn't hold myself back to run towards, hug him
tighter than I should be, I don't care...

There he is, still alive...after all these troublesome things... this brat... he's still
alive...
"..."

"Dad... I'm....

HAVE YOU GONE INSANE!!

WHY DID YOU LEAVE US WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING?!

DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I AM?!! AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR MOM
CONDITION IS RIGHT NOW!!!?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SERIOUS THIS IS!?!!

YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!

YOU COULD HAVE FUCKING DIEDDD!!!!

*Huff Huff*

Calm....down....

I released my arm around his back, but he hugged me even tighter and I can feel
my shoulder slowly getting wet.

"..."
I pat his head, his back, holding his hands, and we keep hugging each other like
that, for a very long time. We couldn't let go of each other, nor did we want to.

...

"Shikadai, maybe I was too easy on you, hmm?", I was surprised that my voice had
cracked.

"...I'm sorry...."

*Sigh*

Lowered my head and covered my eyes with my palm, not only to show him how
disappointed I am, but also to hide my tears. I couldn't hold my frustration in
anymore...

"I...I don't know where to begin with you, out of every possible solution, you chose
the one that I wouldn't expect in a million years. What were you thinking? Do you
think just by...

"Dad, what's mom like when she was my age?"

"..."

What?

I'm baffled for a second. Of all the questions he could have asked me, about her
condition, how she reacted when he left the village, how they were saved, or told
me about that man, explained how both of them were nearly killed...

But this?

He suddenly looked very serious, which is odd, he's rarely interested in Temari's
childhood or anything about her life in the Sand, especially not in this situation.

"..."

Or perhaps, he must have a solid reason to ask that, and I might as well know
something, about what really happened in the forest.

"..."

Maybe, I'll give him a lecture next time...

*Sigh*

"Shikadai, I know you aren't as close with your maternal family as mine, and she
doesn't talk much about her childhood either, even for me. But you probably don't
know, her father was really an awful person. No....he was straight up a corrupted
psychopath I would say. He was the reason why your maternal grandmother died,
he turned Gaara, your uncle, into a killing machine since he was a child, and have
tried several attempts to kill him when the plan didn't succeed. Although she never
mentions him, I'm very sure he didn't treat her any better throughout her life. Even
many years later, I still can clearly see the lasting effects it's had on her."

"..."

"The time's hard, being a shinobi back then was far different from nowadays, not to
say the Sand had it way worse than us Leaf, and your mother was raised in that
environment. Your mom... she wasn't the nicest person, along with your uncles,
they were exceptionally cruel to their enemies and literally had no mercy for them.
But what do you expect a child to grow up in a "family" like that? When your worth
is based on the number of enemies you killed. To be honest, if you were to meet
her when she was young, you would... despise her. But things change, right? People
change, she's grown a lot since then, despite still being a little troublesome, heh.
But after all that, she being a mother and being able to raise you all well and
healthy is... beyond incredible."

"..."

He's quiet, perhaps out of guilt and shame, which is understandable given what
he'd said to her.

"So I was very disappointed at you on that night, when you...

"Dad! Did she tell you anything about her secrets? Like something I shouldn't have
known?! I mean....had she done something... incredibly horrible in the past?
Something that'd completely change my relationship with her if I knew it?"

"..."

What is he talking about?

"Shikadai, tell me what happened in the...

"DAD! PLEASE!!"

"..."

"I'm...I'm sorry...."

He shouted all of a sudden, then lowered his head, embarrassed after realizing
what he'd said.

"..."

"That old man.... he was a really kind person...he helped me a lot, taught me
survival skills and lessons, gave me advice, he helped me to understand mom
better. So I was really disappointed... when he tried to kill me, so suddenly..."

"..."

"You shouldn't trust a stranger so easily, Shikadai. Sometimes people are not
always what they appear to be, they'll always have another side that they don't
want to show to everyone. And why do you think he changed so drastically?

"..."
"At first, I didn't understand why, but now it's starting to make sense to me. Before,
he said someone's killed his family, all of them...."

*Huff huff*

"I don't want to believe, I don't want to believe that mom is... But his reaction when
I mentioned her fan, her name, and when I saw her after I woke up. In that moment,
she....she's not herself anymore dad! I've never seen her like that before, never!
That scene, I still remember it as clear as daylight, it still haunts me every time, at
any given moment, asleep or awake, they just pop up out of nowhere and I'm so
damn sick of it!" He became unusually uptight, holding his head with both hands,
grasping his hair, and breathing heavily. I held his back and laid him down on the
bed, holding his shaky hands, calming him down.

"..."

Oh man...

It seems like he witnessed Temari killing that man, and although it's not
uncommon to see someone got murdered back then, it can be traumatic for him,
for someone who's lived in peace his whole life. I wanted him to rest, but he's so
desperate to know about her right now that telling him to relax would be pointless.
And her secrets?

"So please... can you tell me? Something about her that I didn't know?... Please?"
He looked at me exhaustedly, becking for an answer.
"..."

I guess, there's no reason not to tell him anyway... even though I myself don't even
know everything about it. Clasp my hands together, looking at him.

"She isn't the type of person to share her feelings, you know? So she never really
tells me anything about her "secrets". Despite that, I could tell she's hiding
something from me, because her behaviors back then were pretty obvious."

"Behaviors?"

"Shikadai, you probably don't remember, but when you were 2... or 3 years old, she
was suffered in depression, wouldn't eat, or sleep, and when she did, it's usually
nightmares, would drown herself in alcohol and barely do anything except for
drinking. Still... for some reason, she was being extremely protective of you,
especially when drunk, she wouldn't let anyone be close to you, not even me and
your grandma. I've tried everything I could to help her, but things just got worse.
One day, it got so bad that we were nearly divorced, pressured by my mother. At
first, I thought she had postpartum depression, but some of her behaviors were....
questionable. Then, she suddenly recovered, just like how she suddenly got
"depressed". She finally got back to her usual self and was able to live a normal,
functioning life again, after weeks of anguishment, as if nothing had happened. I
wanted to know why, but she wouldn't tell me no matter how many times I asked.
Eventually I gave up, plus I don't want to remind her about that period again. So
yes, she is most likely to have something that she wouldn't let me, or you, or
anyone to know about.

"..."

He looked surprised all this time, stared at the ceiling, thinking. Then suddenly let
out a scoff.
"Yeah, you're right, dad. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Who's that man anyway?
Mom risked her life to save me, and here I am, causing so much trouble for
everyone and thinking horrible things about her, shamelessly, like an idiot. Of
course she didn't kill them, right? She totally would never do that...never. How
ridiculous, hah...

He said confidently, but I can sense the hesitation in his voice. Touching his ear
softly, as if he's assuring himself, then turns his head and looks at me. Doubt, pain
reflecting on those eyes, and tears...

"..."

"Because if it's true... I don't know how to feel about her anymore..."