SHUT THE HELL UP!!

So you know that Ieeling when everything has gone wrong and you are trying to Iigure
your shit out and you are a yoga teacher so people kind oI think you should have something
Iigured out by now but you just don`t and your birthday is coming up and you are not
where you thought you`d be this year (again) and you are trying to think oI something
valuable and interesting and intelligent to say and you`ve just got a whole big pile oI
nothing at all?
Well, I do.
So I thought I might try this thing where I shut up.

Well, I didn`t entirely shut up. I talked to my belly. I said okay belly. Tell me whats up. Tell
me what you are thinking. Tell me everything so I can do something about it and Iix things
and make it all better so my heart will stop hurting so much and I can Iigure out how to be
less oI a human and more oI a super hero and know what to do all the time and not Ieel so
lost and conIused okay tell me.
So I shut up (again) and listened. Guess what my belly said?
I fust need time.
Time. Time to digest. To process everything that`s come in, everything that`s changed and
got lost and hurt, the places where there are holes where certain hearts used to be, the the
things I wanted to say, the things I shouldn`t have said, the nights I`ve trawled the thin silk
threads oI social networks to Iind something real, something warm. To separate the beauty
and the nourishment Irom the shit. Time to listen.
And oI course it was my belly that knew this. Don`t ever ask your heart any deep
questionsit will tell you all kinds oI things it wants, and it will tell you how deeply, with
no regard Ior time, practicality, geography, or general rational intelligence. Your belly,
though, has to deal with (Iilter, detoxiIy, process, eliminate) everything you go through.
Your heart is wild and gorgeous and terrible. Your belly is a neural net oI inIormation,
nervous responses, and memories. Your belly knows all your secrets.
And lately my belly has been Iull oI liIe-destroying antibiotics. See, I`ve gotten strep throat
now Ior the second time this season. My wise yogi Iriends got all up in my Iacebook and
told me I should ask myselI what I haven`t been saying, what truths have gotten halI
swallowed and stuck in my throat.
Some oI these lovely yogis already know that, to quote Deb Shapiro, our Body Speaks
your Mind, and that when something hurts literally or physically, it mirrors something else
that hurts. One oI the emotional maps we use in yoga is the Chakra system, and the throat
chakra is our centre oI selI expressiontruth, lies, honesty, silence, and creative output.
OIten we think oI needing to write or talk or conIess something to clear this area, to clear
the air. And sometimes it is.

ut the chakras work the same way an open palm doesit is an oIIering, a giving away, a
showing Iorth, but it requires the sweet and necessary possibility oI receiving. We Iorget
that it is really important to sometimes shut up and listen.
I`ve been thinking oI a Iallow Iield. AIter soil has nourished and brought up a certain
number oI crops, Iarmers will leave that soil Ior a period oI time to let it regain its naturally
Iertile properties. Farmers will just leave it alone Ior a while. Just, you know, leave it alone.

So lately, I`ve been trying less to Iigure all my shit out (it`s hard). I`ve been trying to listen
more when people talk, ask more questions, sit back, wait (it`s amazing what people will
tell you iI you just wait). I`ve been teaching in my classes that we are here not to change
our bodies and tell ourselves how to heal, but to bow our crazy heads to our wild and
gorgeous hearts and our inIinitely wise guts and just listen. And I`ve been reading a lot oI
poetry, which I think helps.
So in the spirit oI this listening, and the spirit oI me having no idea about a damn thing, I`ll
let HaIiz speak my last words Ior now. Well, technically it`s translator Daniel Ladinsky`s
words, who is amazing and takes his liberties, so I`m going to go ahead and take mine with
a little editing, and Iigure the two will Iorgive me Ior not entirely shutting up here.
When
The words stop
And you can endure the silence
That reveals your heart`s pain
OI emptiness
Or that great gut-wrenching-sweet longing,
That is the time to try and listen
To what your body
Most wants
To
Say.